#AND IT'S EVEN PANIC! FUCK
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Currently having a mental crisis because there are people I knew in high school who probably still think of me as the Harry Potter girl. Crying
#my past haunts me#hilariously during my not like other girls hermione granger phase all I wanted to be was like sirius black#and now I kind if am and I'm like. bitch 😐#but I have to remind myself fanon sirius and jk's sirius are like. completely different characters at the point I liked them#harry potter had such an impact on my life I Can Never Escape. I am constantly taking psychic damage#at least in ten years it'll be really funny when I gaslight people at my high school reunion#yeah idk who that is. harry potter? like. the movies?#brb going to go read through the summaries of the wolfstar ao3 tag to remind myself why I moved tf on. other than jk herself#and I am still listening to a song that was on my marauders playlists 😭😭😭😭😭 I have repurposed it but right now all I can think of is#those bitches#AND IT'S EVEN PANIC! FUCK
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a moment from a cruel summer with you @campbyler that I’ve been meaning to draw for a while! I’ll be real their heads are more visible and hair less messy than what I actually picture when I read the scene but I really wanted the snoozing faces so 🥺 if you haven’t read it (you should!) this is a photo of mike and will that el sends to the party group chat lmao
also on instagram :)
Alt + close up under the cut!
every time I post about @campbyler I’ve gotta give my love to @wiseatom @astrobei @andiwriteordie the busy bees for such a fun fic with characterisation I’m obsessed with, I’d wait a day or a decade for more so 💘💘 me personally I’ve got plenty of scenes I can draw in between chapter drops it’s so chill you guys
#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#camp byler#acswy#stranger things#stranger things art#solisevart#I’m not even gonna panic tag this time in fact I deleted the tags I’m just owning anything that looks off! 😀 *eye twitch*#if you guys see this pls know gentlemanly genuine mike and secretly soft bratty will have been everything to me so far what the fuck 🫶🏽#if that makes no sense it’s bc I’m typing half asleep
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sub yuta okkotsu agenda 😔
no bc i got THOUGHTS, i got so many thoughts about my babygirl named yuuta okkotsu, you don't even UNDERSTAND how badly i want him
him in the movie-*aggressive eye twitch*, his big sweet innocent puppy eyes-fuck it just *short circuits*
AND THEN afterwards when he's his anxious, tired, emo self (me too fr), like he's still just my cutie patootie and it's a literal CRIME how little sub fics of him there are bc take one look at that baby AND TELL ME that he is a daddy dom in bed-you'd be lying to yourself and me-and we do not tolerate lying in this house
no but fr, he is not domming for his life. a service top-perhaps, he would still cry a lot though and if you were making HIM fuck YOU he would beg for you to just take over, his arms shaking on either side of your head as he tries to make you feel good. because it's not the same like this-he wants you to fuck him, he wants to ride you as your hands grope over his body, he wants to pinned against a wall and fucked hard and rough within an inch of his life.
babyboy just wants to be loved and taken care of by his so
#inbox💌#he's probably my second favourite character in jjk#after geto (my literal wife)#but like i'm not even done talking abt him but i gotta shut up before i talk too much and can't stop😭#don't even get me started on HIM AND MAKI#god i want her so bad too#they are the bi panic#imagine tagteaming him with maki#and he just dumbly takes it all like a good boy😫#“i can take it~”#“m' a good boy-right?”#YES YOU"RE A FUCKING GOOD BOY#I WANNA EAT HIM UPPPP#sub yuuta#hard thoughts#dom reader#yuuta x reader#yuuta okkotsu smut#yuta smut#yuuta okkotsu x reader#jjk smut#sub jjk#sub jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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Say something true!
#critical role#ygifs#imogearne#imogen x fearne#when you’re taking a picture of the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and the camera falls back and fucking decks you in the face#fearne going it’s ok you don’t need to confess I know~~ while imogen interrupts to say ‘’you’re a loser’’ they drive me NUTSkljsgdlkjs#also my brain is a little beehive cos these two Started with Fearne being the enabler to darker things while imogen was cautious#to fearne Seeing imogen about to be lost to ruidus and hardveering into panic that the power would never be worth losing her#to imogen hearing fearne hesitate and deny the shard and then telling fearne she should do it anyway#the way these two handle the other's Sways in darkness in such a Knowing way - ‘’Are you sure it wasn’t intentional?’’#there’s like this ping and before it was encouraging and now fearne is scared and imogen is enabling the risk#and it’s like either imogen is silently ensuring laudna’s safety by fearne taking the shard despite any risk#or imogen honestly believes that fearne is stronger even than the power she would embrace. There is no risk. Fearne will conquer this.#so it’s like is it ulterior motives or is it faith or is it hypocrisy or is it all three at once it's so good#imogen spending her entire life running from her power so isn’t it so much easier to tell fearne she can just do it while imogen couldn’t#or is it just her genuinely encouraging fearne from Knowing the aftermath of pursuing the power#but it's like imogen ...... why would fearne choose you over the possibility for power when she's never done that before#and is this insistence/encouragement going to actually reassure fearne or is it going to be another crack#and when they do the ritual fearne asks imogen to be the one to take her out and imogen tries to comfort her by agreeing#and fearne looks on sadly and nods#remembering when she was asked to be the one to take imogen out and all fearne knew was that she couldn’t#anyway imogen's face when fearne said you're in love with me imogen said NOT NOWDSHKJF
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yeah that's uhh that's definitely something
#'david jenkins is a neil gaiman fan' U SHUT UP!!! IM SO FUCKING SCARED RIGHT NOW U SHUT UP?!!!#the difference in crowley's and ed's expression tho. one is in complete panic and agony and the other is just numb#says a lot if u ask me#something something the demon (or demon coded) character shots at the angel (coded) character who has complete trust in them#something something i dont even know what this means#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#ofmd#our flags mean death#gentlebeard#stede bonnet#edward teach
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Society if there was anti anxiety medication that didn’t make me go into a coma for several days at a time
#yknow when you’re like ok time to take a medicine! and you sleep for 18 hours in one day and 16 the next. and can’t do anything because#you’re so disoriented you can’t even walk upright#and doctors are like oh you just have to take it every day for a month and the fatigue will stop !#like ok can I have your income for that month then? because I can’t Live like this.#at least when I’m having daily panic attacks I’m able to like#eat and think and have friends even if I’m scared#and I’ve been on so many fucking meds that do this to me#idk
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Could you please dive into the RAMCOA controversy that's been going around? I've literally never heard someone say "RAMCOA is antisemitic" until like a week ago and now there's multiple blogs (I'm sure you can guess who at this point) who are saying this and calling RAMCOA a conspiracy theory from the satanic panic.
It's being said by the same 3 blogs that all reblog the same bad takes so I wasn't putting any stock in their word. Just the latest misinfo spreading unchecked, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
You know what, I'm not going to lie, I've been dreading getting this question.
Terrified. Harassment in this area of discussion is rampant.
We are currently debating making a post and how to approach it.
I will make our stances clear right now.
I think the conversation as it is now is full of misinformation and confusion. I think no single post can cover that amount of history and the theories and controversy.
I don't think anyone understands what they're arguing about, or the histories they're trying to bring up, and how they overlap. I think many members of the conversation lack access to resources and education that the mods of this blog DO have access to. Most of the links being thrown around lead back to the same single sources.
To shorten a very long, complex, and honestly unfinished conversation: the satanic panic and RAMCOA are two completely different entities. The satanic panic was a religious political movement of the 90s pushed by conservatives as a way to scare people back into church and scare women back into their "place" at home by attacking child care facilities. It called on a lot of tropes. And many of them were, yeah, ridiculously antisemitic. As the movement got more and more sensationalized, it began to call attention to therapists (some of them bad faith) and to RAMCOA survivors as a "Look! It's real!" kind of thing. If anything, this attention hurt far more than it helped. It painted an inaccurate and insulting picture that's still utilized to harm people today.
To be very clear: programmed DID is a well documented occurrence and it can occur in several ways.
We support survivors, no matter what they call it. We support clinicians trained in treating people who have gone through that extreme level of horrific abuse. We support people learning to separate fact from fiction, in whatever way that may apply to any given situation.
SAS supports ramcoa and oea survivors.
Here's something we suggest reading, though it's very long.
Stay safe, everyone ❤️
#if youre wondering which antisemitic tropes it called on#mostly the 'blood libel' trope#speaking as a Jewish convert... looking back at some of the material put out around that time#its pretty rough#but again this was the satanic panic. not RAMCOA#mod signal#mod dude#team effort#ramcoa#tw#oea#anon that's driving everyone up the wall? don't even fucking try it#I'm not joking i will rip you to fucking shreds#- mod dude#i have zero patience for your bullshit asks#programming and conditioning#dissociative identity disorder#myths and controversies
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#bro strider#homestuck#beta dirk strider#homestuck shitpost#dirk strider#my art#bro is a top dirk is a bottom. it’s not the biggest difference between them but it certainly is a distinction#I had like four panic attacks drawing this stupid fucking meme due to lack of sleep and entirely too much mt dew code red#he is in fact trans if anyone had even a shadow of doubt about that#Anyways. DUMB!!!
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dude i fucking love how this server has communication as its premise and built into its fucking core. i fucking love that. bc it's one thing to be like 'this server is about multilingual communication and cultural exchange!!' bc that could present in any NUMBER of ways but like. with the federation and the eggs and a common shared goal they all decided WE ARE A TEAM. and like, ok,
when baghera was sus of jaiden because of the thing when pomme died and jaiden had been the reason baghera left her side for the only time that day, i wasn't even worried. i wasn't worried bc i was like "we just wait. because i know they will TALK TO EACH OTHER." and I WAS RIGHT. TWO DAYS LATER IT WAS ALL CLEARED UP AND BAGHERA WAS HELPING HER OUT WITH CUCURUCHO
and the ordo theoritas is functionally a secret organization. it would be SO EASY to gatekeep the lore, on grounds of "the federation is always watching and anyone could be a spy" and yet the ordo theoritas says that, like bad SAYS THAT, says OUT LOUD, "anyone could be a traitor" and then turns around and goes "hey person i've had a few days' worth of conversations with, here's a detailed rundown of everything we've learned about the island's mysteries, and the secret location of the ordo base". SOFIA was supposed to be secret from everyone, and for a little bit she was. but now like, the ordo theoritas is showing her to everyone. it would be SO EASY to hide things and to gatekeep things but they just. don't do it. here's the supercomputer!!!! don't forget to grab her waystone so you can come back anytime!!!
bad learns something. "i need to tell forever/cellbit/baghera". forever figures out a new way to protect the eggs, and he gets it to everyone within days. cucurucho tries to have a secret conversation and the entire server knows about it almost instantly and there are three people buried in the walls reading the subtitles and giving each other meaningful glances
i love it. i love it. miscommunication plotlines drive me up the fucking wall and the fact that i wasn't even SCARED when jaiden and baghera could easily have angled into an angsty tangled web of that and instead just MET WITH EACH OTHER AND EXPLAINED EVERYTHING AND CLEARED THE AIR ALMOST IMMEDIATELY was so fucking breathtaking. and this is a multilingual server. this is a MULTILINGUAL SERVER. i love it. i love it so much i want to cry. it's a server for communication and people Communicate, it would have been SO EASY to slip into monolingual factions and stick to the familiar but they DIDN'T. they DIDN'T. WE GET TO HAVE A THEORY TABLE WITH SO MANY LANGUAGES SITTING AROUND IT. we get to have conspiracy walls in every language!!!! idk sometimes i forget how fucking CRAZY all this is, like the scale of what they've accomplished
so yea thank you to quackity and the qsmp admins for this, and thank you to the streamers for hearing 'this is about connections' and taking it ENTIRELY to heart, and also thank you to whoever the fuck decided to give quackity's school class the job to look after a fucking egg to learn about parenting. bc holy shit. holy shit.
#qsmp#this is a mess but i keep marvelling at it ever since jaiden's streams#just that. it could have gone to hell. but they TALKED TO EACH OTHER.#and i kept seeing people on tumblr like 'nooo they're dividing them 😭' and i kept thinking in my head:#'it's ok. don't panic. don't worry. they're so good about communicating: roier will say something or jaiden will say something'#'and they'll resolve anything right there and then'#i fucking love it. i fucking love it. there have been cross lingual projects before that didn't breed community like this does#everyone is trying so hard to protect everyone. forever and baghera didn't even trust quackity and they were still trying to protect him#i can't express how much this silly fucking server means to me. i can't explain it#its so good. its so good. i love it so much i swear to god#like i promise you if some of the less active members were to step back online and ask about the lore#they'd get a FULL fuckin rundown of it even though the ordo theoritas is technically a secret society#just immediately#i love it. there may be gaslighting and girlbossing but there is NO gatekeeping#unless we count the french exp farm lmfao#idk idk idk!!!!! it means so much to me i swearrrrrrr#THEY'RE A TEAM YOUR HONOR. THEY!! ARE!!! A TEAM!!!#shut up vic#block game brainrot
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stan: how can you be polyamorous and aroace, or…whatever mabel called it?
ford: in my case, i have my family and i have my platonic polycule. i would prefer to never have to interact with anyone outside these two groups
stan: what about soos and wendy? they’re not in either of those groups
ford: first of all, i am soos’ uncle, second of all, are you saying you don’t believe i would both die and kill for wendy?
stan: you’ve got a weird way of defining family, six
ford: it’s my favorite way
#it’s the last day of june and i have not been queering it up nearly enough with these text posts#needed to let myself be at least a indulgent. anyway#gravity falls#ford pines#stan pines#(stan: wait who’s the extra person in your polycule#ford: oh you wouldn’t know it it goes to another dimension)#in all seriousness though#i have not stopped thinking about ford being at least friends with the hidebehind since that au I created#so the hidebehind is definitely in on the polycule. it goes fiddleford and ford + ford and hidebehind#maybe the moth man gets thrown in too. i don’t know maybe it likes being mercilessly hunted down#who am i to assume#if the moth man was there too maybe…#ford and moth man + moth man and fiddleford + fiddleford and ford + ford and hidebehind?#i like to go with the idea that moth man is more of a warning before disasters rather than bringing them#(and we don’t even know if the gravity falls moth man is the same as virginia’s moth man)#so i think fiddleford would like him. they share superstitions and moth man is like a comfort cat#is moth man showing signs that something bad is about to happen? if no then you have physical living evidence that nothing bad is happening#if yes. fucking panic.#if they ever hit a yes the polycule may be in slight trouble of losing moth man as a member#i personally never got on board with the ford x moth man train so i’m going to keep my headcanon platonic polycule to#fiddauthor + hideford#created a new ship name what the fuck is wrong with me (lighthearted). happy pride month 🦕🏳️⚧️🦑🏳️🌈
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me: I should write the one-shot that lives in my head about Harry applying for a job
brain: you will write a whole casefic about Harry realizing being a cop already killed him once, acab applies even to Kim, and he needs to quit if he wants to get better
#shivers is allowed to be passive aggressive about littering. as a treat#disco elysium#de fanfic#long post#i hope this is a good range of clips but also not too many ghdfsh#the disco mix of angst and poetic imagery and unhinged dialogue means I have 5898385 favorite bits so I kind of just picked random ones#this selection is really angst-heavy but there's a lot of really funny moments too I promise#a lot of my biggest faves are running gags that don't clip well#please message me about this lmao i am dying to talk#ive got everything in here. there's panic attacks. there's skills bickering and talking like harry isn't there. there's a loop (sort of).#callbacks to game lines. rhetoric going on about Communism. harry being Very Gay but Very Closeted. electrochem losing its mind about it.#beautiful Conceptualization bits and a whole talking-to-corpse moment#I've even got a sequence w ancient reptilian brain and limbic system#the whole thought project about “why isn't kim more upset that I went at a witness like a rabid hound” is so fucking good.#im so fucking normal about these 40-year-old men#i didn't think I could write DE but I'm nailing it
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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#rc9gn#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#torn pages au#randy cunningham#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#rc9gn oc#it has begun....the ocs... they are coming!!!!#lol but no worries ill try to not make them too much of a focus#can u believe it? freakin 9 more pages holy sjiet. and we didnt even got to the actual idea i had im gonna cry#trying to be normal and not enjoy little dad things i make first ninja do ;3#like helping kids dress cause waiting for them will take forever. the mom hand across body to protect them and the panic run.#the 'fuck the child took off without me' panic run is very familiar for me because i experience it from both sides#when i was a kid i accidently took off into traffic (on the crossing road but on yellow light) thinking my uncle was ahead#but in reality he was behind having a heart attack at my actions and taking off after me#and when i was a teen a family friend's kid i was looking after in the mall took off somewhere and i had a panic attack i lost him lol#his mother was NOT happy#kids? amiright?
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size kink be going feral when you think about someone bigger and stronger than you sitting on your hips and squeezing your sides mercilessly while you feebly struggle and try to pry their hand(s) away with both of yours to like,,, no avail. 🫣
#mine#like is it too much to as for to just be made to take torture like#finding a really bad spot that just makes you fucking l a u g h and panic and then they just like are so strong you can’t stop them or they#like take your hands and pin them down and go right back to it so you can panic even more because you can’t move no matter how hard you try#IM#tickling community#tickle community#size k!nk
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What was Lights out! Frank's reaction to crazy ass Lights out! Wally?
ah i wouldn't call him crazy, Wally's just desensitized to the Horrors and acts accordingly. which is occasionally a little unhinged. but no yeah Frank has a proper freakout <3 he has a hard time adjusting to certain aspects of.... everything. including Wally yeah
(don't bother trying to read this i know its terrible handwriting lmao, it's p much just to show Frank's spiral <3)
#wally when frank first wakes up: omg!!! im not alone!!! a friend!!!#wally ten minutes later: hey frank maybe you should go back to sleep. just a thought#LISTEN listen when youve been completely alone for ages and you have a Routine and youre Used to it#its a little very much fucking annoying to have it all Abruptly Disrupted#wally is used to quiet. hes used to his version of peace and routine#then frank barges in with his panic and Noise and general Thereness#wally is understandably very quickly Done With It#scribble salad#wh lights out au#they do have a fight over The Arm™️ i think#frank doesn't really get it at first. he will eventually#eddie's hat becomes his version of it#and julie's necktie i think. he might wind up wearing it on his wrist. idk tho still workshopping the wardrobe changes and such#but uhhhh yeah frank reacts Not Well!#its just a long day of continuous: what the fuck? What The Fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!#theres just such a disconnect between his and wallys experiences#he hasnt had the chance to adjust or even prepare#very jarring for them both...
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you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 💪 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.
#i cant fucking do this not at all actually im very scared and i have no idea what im gonna ddo for money and yeah i am. so scared#money isn't even scary if i can just find a job! but i need an apartment but i can't find an apartment unless i can pay for the rent#and i have to contact The Dude at some point but uh. hes mad. im scared.#augh delete later probably. im sitting on the stairs outside and smoking a cigarette which i really shouldn't do#did I tell you i was scared. i have these cruel nightmares of roaming the streets looking for nala and not finding her#and i wake up in a cold sweat in a panic not knowing where i am. everything is so unfamiliar !!!!#if things ever work out for me if i can find the money for deposit or get my investments back somehow i swear i will spend a month in compl#ete silence staring at the cieling just processing this#right now everything feels so GO GO GO and i am scared it might break me. i do not have the time for chronic ilness right now yk.#tummy ache. chewing on my cheek.#nothing to do than try to stay positive but man. this really fucking sucks and is really unfair#who knew being a people pleaser with 0 boundaries would come back to bite me in the ass.#/groan/
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