#AND I WOULD IF I DIDNT HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS IN THE WAY

[crimsonmonsoon]

If you can’t tell I am entirely obsessed with this guy

[pu-butt]

I might come back at a later time with an actually thorough analysis on this, but the irony of those posts that go like "wow we could make a whole new version of We Didn't Start The Fire with just the events of the past five years" really is so interesting to me.

Like the story behind the song is that at age 40 Billy Joel was talking to a 21 year old guy who was complaining about how crazy the time he was living in was and thereby undermining the times before that. So billy joel wrote we didnt start the fire as a way to show that any time period has been filled with extreme events. Yes, times are crazy now and they have always been crazy and they will continue to be crazy. And theres a bunch of ways one may interpret those statements and one can see it as a message of hope or understanding or dismissal, but i'm not really interested in dissecting it in such a way here right now honestly bcs im sleepy.

It's just so funny to me that the whole point of this song is to point out that actually the experience of living through crazy and world-changing times is NOT unique and here all these people are going like "woaah this is such a unique time we could write We Didn't Start The Fire all over again!" as if that isn't the exact opposite of the point of the song!

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[charmedreincarnation]

Hi Maya I was one of your first anons back in March and I manifested my dream life. i just wanted to share some things that helped me, and hope we can all pass some knowledge so we all get our desires life. I did, you did, and everyone reading this can and will so let’s all try to help out by sharing a little of our journey. I’ll never create a blog because tumblr is a mess, so I’ll just share them here bc I trust you as a creator and I hope you agree with what I’m saying. Even if you don’t these are my assumptions and my truth

il get into my methods in one second but users of tumblr there are only 4 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LAW (Inspired heavily by you bc I used your blog religiously) I will say you’re kind of too nice and I wish I had someone to yell at me like this, and tell me to stop being a victim!!! So if it sounds aggressive it’s because it is in the best loving way possible.OKAY SO.

★you need to understand that you want to fulfill yourself in imagination because you don’t care about the desires only how you feel about it. Bare with me it sounds stupid I know. But I don’t care about men or how they feel about me. I just want to feel worshiped and love, and I could fulfill that in my imagination. I don’t care about money??? It’s fucking paper !!! I just want to feel secure and financially free and want the feeling of buying my favorite clothes without looking at the tag. I GOT THE SAME FEELING FROM PINTREST EVEN WHEN I WAS POOR GODDAMNIT. I didn’t care about getting all As in school when I’ve always believed school is not a representation of intelligence. I wanted to feel recognized adored and respected which I had to feel for myself in my mind before it projected. I don’t care about looking skinny, I just wanted to feel snatched, I wanted to be envied, and feel pretty. And in my mind everyone wanted to be me even when I was ugly and fat. BUT I DIDNT FEEL FAT. Even with no change in the 3D I had my desires. This applies to all your desires, and you really need to understand that.

★you can affirm,visualize, understand states, understand non dualism, use the Bible or Torah m, wall twerk and say “I AM THAT BITXH,” use sats YADADAA . No one cares it doesn’t matter. you don’t have to feel anything or, even believe in wth you’re doing. As long as you think that having it in imagination means it’s yours that’s all that matter. I’ve read so many teachers, Neville, Abraham, Abdullah, Edward art, paid coaches, and they all do different things but say the same thing. FAITH IS KEY. That’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone you otherwise or tell you what you have to do. All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.

★YOU ARE GOD. You know what a god is, you know how a god works, you know god can do anything with a snap of a finger, kill anyone with a thought, look anyway it wants, have anything everything and create whatever. You are an omnipotent loving creator so create and give yourself everything.

★you can’t over consume, you can think from lack of whatever, and doubt can’t hinder you unless you think it does. Having a desire does not mean you’re lacking or else having the wanting for it would mean that too no? When creators say that I want to slam my head against the wall. Even now I have all my desires and I still think about them constantly. Thinking of new clothes to buy with MY WEALTH, I think of new food to eat that won’t even affect my SNATCHED BODY, i find new places to try and explore bc MY SOCIAL CIRCLE IS HUGE AND IM SO LOVED, I think of new makeup up to try to enhance my GORGEOUS PRINCESS FACE. I think of it in the same way from when I didn’t have my desired (I always had them in imagination but you know what I mean.) so there is no thinking from lack, or else you’re always lacking it lmfao the fuck. Anyways I doubted my abilities up until I manifested my dream life. I was okay with it in imagination and whether it reflected or not it was my escape I was content with. DID YOU SEE THAT. I had doubts up until the very end, and it doesn’t mean shit unless you think it does. Just affirm having doubts and obsessions only speed up your results. That’s really all it is.

Now to my story if anyone cares. I won’t make a blog for reason number 2 and 3 listed above. That’s all you need but if you want more info for curiosity go for it. I know I was curious and that didn’t stop me from getting my dream life. Anyways I have the same story as about everyone else here. My life sucked, I found the law, and it worked! HOORAY!!! But how did I do it???? Easy peasy, in a couple of steps.

☞ I tattooed my four rules above in my mind. When fear and doubt emerged I sunk that shit like the titanic and went with my laws that I created. It’s literally called the law of assumption like come on, stop fighting with yourself when you assume and create reality.

☞I ignored anything that I didn’t agree with. Sometimes I’d get so mad and be like WHAT NO WHY WOULD THAT BLOGGER OR COACH OR ANON or whoever say that?? But am I dumb ??? each of us have our own reality our own bubbles. The fact that it works for them and not for me started to only motivate me more. It doesn’t work bc I assume sooo… sooo why not just assume the opposite and focus on my rules like they did. The law is always in effect and working. Either it’s in your favor or it’s not. It’s up to you

☞I used affirmations bc repetition is the only thing that works for my logical brain. Anything can change with repetition. It’s basic science. So in the morning and night time I would affirm. ONCE. Repetition meant for me doing it everyday and not wanting. The rest of my day was lived in my imaginations. And the affirmation was to remind me in my vulnerable state that I already have my desires. That’s why my affirmation was “I have my desires no matter what, and everything I do brings them to me faster than the speed of light” it was kind of funny and made me chuckle but I accepted it as facts. Look guys…

☞I didn’t repress myself. If I cried or yelled or told myself “FUCK YOU” it wasn’t me tf. It was the devil or something. Be like those Christian fuckers who when their child comes out as gay…it’s the devil within them or whatever. I would talk to myself, yell when doubt emerged and when my thoughts weren’t the ones I wanted. It wasn’t fucking me so get the fuck out I have my desires so who tf are you ??? It will feel weird but you’ll get used to it trust me. If you’re uncomfortable it’s working. Getting rid of bad habits and your comfort in dwelling in bad thoughts is uncomfortable but it’s worth it.

I manifested my dream life back in March. I LITERALLY WOKE WITH MY DREAM LIFE. A complete 180. I won’t talk about my past life bc I completely revised it and I’m the only one who remembers so for the most part it feels like a long nightmare that has past. I’ll just talk about what I changed instead because that’s the stuff we all want to hear. Anyways I’ll just post some of my list here.

♥ my life feels like the song rich kids by freak ocean

♥I’m a pretty spoiled princess who gets everything I want but I’m still kind

♥I revised my entire family from looks to personality to zodiac to religion and etc. i rewrote my story which included my family

♥I have natural admired intelligent

♥my family has a net worth of 500 million dollars, and my entire family stems from old money. (Think aristocrats not slave or colonization money)

♥I can play many instruments and speak many languages

♥ I am 5’2, 100 pounds, I have natural stunning vixen beauty, and the most desires body in the world. I’m the beauty standard and people either want to be me or date me. I am naturally skinny and have no worries about my weight, I have clear skin that only gets clearer with my skincare routine, and I have my desired personality where I’m kind but also don’t put up with any shit from anyone because I know I’m that bitch. I also have great style and embody a princess !

♥my life is a combination of my favorite watpadd stories, Gilmore girls, gossip girl, and mean girls.

♥ too many people pursue me I have too many options

♥I have a perfect school life, social life, family life, friend life, and people always wonder what I did to be “so lucky it’s unfair”

♥my family has multiple mansions in America, monoco,Australia, france, and China.

♥I’m a daddies and mommies money girl

♥I put myself first (I HAD SUFFERED TOO LONG I NEEDED A SOFT LIFE)

♥everyone’s purpose it to make my life easier and make me happier

♥I’m spoiled and privileged in every aspect of my life

♥I’m a master shifter, and manifester

♥I revised my age to 14. I was 18 and graduating but I wanted to redo high school how I had envisioned it all my life

♥I have a “cool mom” people are always jealous how lucky I am

♥I have my main estate in Hollywood hills with my family that’s in a gated, gorgeous, gate kept neighborhood. It is 30,000 sq feet with my dreams decor, dream cars, dream pets, dream house help, dream room with all my stuff saved on Pinterest including decor, furniture, clothes, shoes, makeup and skincare.

♥everything good in my life I have manifested and it’s too much to list. THERES NOT REASON FEAR OR WAIT. Do what you want and assume it still works and it will.

You honestly said it better than I could have. Literally every single one of these points are so valid :)!! I’m glad you think I inspired you love but all I did was allow you recognize your own godly abilities. I’m very proud of you, and have fun girl 🥹❤️

Also. “All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.” This one million times !!!!! Invest your faith into yourself more than anyone else and you’ll see how fast your reality conforms. I also adore your point about the state of lacking bc I never believed in that. If wanting your desires insinuates it’s not yours, we would have no thoughts since that’s where it all originates from. In fact Edward explains it pretty well.

When Edward looks at lack, he sees it as being something that is only brought about by the individual. He believes that your own actions, thoughts, and attitudes will bring about an artificial scarcity of resources. Edward says that this artificial lack of resources is not actually real—it exists only in our minds, as we focus on the things that we don’t have rather than the things that are available to us.

He believes that true lack only exists when someone has no access to resources—whether those resources be financial, physical, mental, or emotional. When someone has access to resources but they squander them or don’t use them to their advantage, it isn’t a lack of resources that is at fault—it is the individual’s personal choices and attitudes that create the feeling of lack. Same way we see attractive people feel ugly though they have women or men chasing them, modeling opportunities, and experience many examples of pretty privilege lol. You’re a hot girl.. you’re just not using it to your advantage, same way you have everything in imagination and access to anything yet… nothing bc of your own perceptions. That’s not lack. Simply inappropriate usage of recourse. A waste for better use of words.

[pixiecaps]

recapping a bit of what haru said on stream

haru on her stream spoke about how shes had a really awful past five years and all her experiences just from this past year has been incredible. she gave a massive thank you to everyone and that she has no regrets.

“i never imagined i’d be where i am right now and i mean it with all my heart thank you so much. i had a very good time and i hope to have made you guys happy.”

she mentioned that since she was young shes always wanted to make content that makes people happy because she felt the world was missing a lot of love so shes happy to have given the world a piece of her heart. she mentioned how shes met so many incredible people who motivated her to see the good parts of life. to have found even this little bit of sunshine has left her so grateful. she says thank you for all the kindness, all the moments, all the memories, all the words, everything. shes very happy and mentioned this has been a very special experience for her. she reminded her chat that theres always another day and to enjoy life to the maximum, to live, to love, to talk, to hug each other, to be happy always, and that all the beautiful happiness we’ve given her will be returned back to us. she continues to express her gratitude. she mentioned this is one of the most beautiful communities shes ever had the pleasure of meeting in the entire world. she goes on to include the spanish, portuguese, french, english, german, and korean community in that statement.

“there is love in all types of languages and that love needs to be shared.“

she said her words will never be enough to express all her gratitude. she gave a reminder to always keep being kind. her voice falters a couple times from all the emotions. she mentioned shes cried enough and didn’t want to keep crying since she had something to do tomorrow and she didnt wanna have swollen eyes lmao.

she then shares a more personal moment. paraphrasing here.

“after i lost my dad i swear i felt like my life was falling apart. i never thought i’d be able to recover. after that many things happened and in those things, i wasnt destined to meet two people, this is a story i’ll always remember because i wasnt destined to meet these people. … they tell me hey the actor for this little thing didn’t show up and i say no way seriously? tell them to let me be it, tell them please because i want to be with you guys (harus two friends who were apart of the project). and i didnt think they’d agree… and they said yes. and i met two very important people and honestly (starts crying) thank you so much. thank you so much nussa. thanks to you i was able to meet them. i never imagined this would happen i promise you. thank you nussa. it means a lot to me that you decided to put me (into the leo spot). the only major thing in my life, i started being so happy, i started enjoying all the moments in my life as if it were the last, thanks to all this i’m here. and could meet you all. such a beautiful community.” she goes on to keep thanking nussa while crying and saying it was written in the stars. she goes on to say that shes gonna tell this as a story some day to her family, who doesnt know what she does or that she streams, and she’ll tell them about all of this with so much care and love. shes very thankful to have learned so much english and more about so many different cultures. she again reiterates shes very happy.

she also teases that she wants to go to brazil!!!! which… might be soon… and that theres little things being planned so hopefully if all goes well…👀 (an egg admin meetup would go so hard)

NOW GO SUPPORT HER ON TWITCH @ HarumiVT

[eighttens]

Hate you! Love you! (Part 2)

Summary: so what actually happened between You and Wooyoung? Let’s rewind…. (Part two to this)

Note: Since there was quite a bit of positive feedback (and some demand for a part two), i decided to finally put pen on paper, and since my workload is decreasing a little again im hoping i can post more frequently again!! I hope you enjoy reading this half as much as the first, feel free to leave me suggestions and feedback- please dont be a silent reader!!! My requests are of course open, feel free to send me some metal compost to ruminate about!

Tagging the people who wanted a part 2::::: @taz-97 @burreorahurricane @starsfly01091711 @03jyh23

„I dont know what to do anymore..!“ San’s got his head in his hands, huffing loudly as he finally finishes his rant.

„Wasn‘t this what you wanted though? You were always complaining that they didnt get along, and now that they are you’re getting second thoughts?“ Jongho is the first to break the silence that falls over the room. As per usual, he was a little loose lipped, not afraid to speak what the rest were so obvsiously thinking.

Once a month or so, San would meet up with his former roommates, just for old times sake. During these little lunches the four of them would share what each of them had been up to lately, making up for the lost time. This also included all the updates about you and Wooyoung, the very reason that San no longer shared the apartment with them. Jongho, Seonghwa and Hongjoong were actually the reason that San ever met you and Wooyoung.

He got to know Wooyoung first, curtesy of Jongho when they had a project to work on together. Wooyoung would come over to work with Jongho in their apartment, and glances and little greetings soon blossomed into more: an offer to go gyming together, then an offer to grab coffee, then an offer to teach baking, and so on. This slow and steady approach really lead to two together naturally, growing strong together through blushy smiles and teetering glances.

You however, were a bad decision dropped right into his lap. He had heard your name from Seonghwa and Hongjoong, as they mentioned you in passing conversation every so often. He finally got to put a face to the name in one fateful night though. It was a party hosted for Seonghwa’s birthday, and of course you were invited. You, pretty little young thing, showing up at the birthday party with your tiny shirt and even tinier skirt, cheering for Seonghwa with a bottle of Tequila and a very expensive gift. Oh, you were trouble, alright?

There was nothing slow or steady about how you and San got involved one anther. No, your relationship moved at a breakneck pace, flustering him so hard and fast it gave him whiplash. You pulled him in quicker than he could fathom, having him wrapped around your lithe little fingers the moment you first spoke to him, inviting him on the balcony to share a Malbro red. You and San were fire and flame, ferociously bouncing off another with thick tension and high energy.

The contrast between the double-life he lead in terms of dating was polarizing. He was nervous to introduce the two of you to say the least. He knew that realistically there was no good way to do this, and that of course both of you would be displeased with the whole „side-piece double timing“ thing, but eventually San had to bite the bullet.

He had it planned… sorta.

He invited Wooyoung over early the day prior, taking him out to brunch, then shopping and dinner. He hoped that it would help ease the waters, make Wooyoung a little more open. Those efforts were for nought though when the two of them came back into the shared Appartement.

The two of them, Hongjoong and Seonghwa that is, had invited you over on a whim to pregame a little for a function that night. Not ideal, not ideal at all. San hadn‘t planned for you two to meet until tomorrow, when you were supposed to drop off one of the many hoodies you had conveniently „borrowed“ from San. No, this isnt at all how he had imagined this going.

Not a word had been exchanged between you and Wooyoung, yet the both of you had San figured out immediately. Hongjoong and Seonghwa, well aware of the complicated situation they had caused were quick to flee, heading out early, mumbling an excuse about „helping to set up“. Setting up my ass San thought, more than a little frustrated with the untimely manner of this meeting.

The tension between Wooyoung and you was palpable. You both had boisterous and individual perssonalities, egos big enough to kill a man, and most importantly (dangerously) a vicious sense of pride. It was only a matter of time, only a question of who would break the seal placed upon this moment. Then you would be neck and neck.

It was you who broke the silence, of course it was. „So you’re the side-piece? Didn’t know San went that way…“ your voice was too sharp, your tongue lined with silver as you snarked at Wooyoung, your head tilting to the side with passive, masked aggression.

From that moment onwards, it was nothing but poison and daggers flying hitherho between you two. San didnt know what to do, he was more than lost. Helplessly he had looked between you two, wincing at the harsh insults being carelessly thrown around.

In retrospect San should have known better than to jump in the middle of a cat-fight, especially because he was the very topic at hand. But he didnt know at the time that it was more than stupid, so he raised his voice to catch you attention and spoke: „Listen! I know this is-„

He didnt even get to finish his sentence before there was a rare moment of union between Wooyoung and you when both of you snapped „Shut up!“.

A moment of silence fell over the dorm again, and Wooyoung and your eyes met, wide with bewilderment. The moment was short (but sweet, San thought) before you and Wooyoung both turnt up your noses, brushing past another as you stormed out the door to follow Seonghwa and Hongjoong whilst Wooyoung stomped into the kitchen.

From then on it was always one of two situations when you and Wooyoung met: a clash filled with hateful words and hurt feelings, or dead, uncomfortable silence. No in-between, no hope of improvements.

Pulling himself out of the memory, and the following months, San looks at the deadpan faces of his former roommate. „You said you’d do anything for them to get along…“ San would like to agree with Jongho, but he just shakes his head ferociously. Seonghwa and Hongjoong share a look as they try to assess the situation appropriately.

„What changed, then?“ Seonghwa‘s voice is careful, trying his best to figure out a possible red string to connect all the pieces San had been laying out, „What’s bad about them getting along?“

„Well I mean yes it’s wonderful that they get along, sure! But-„ San stops himself, biting his tongue as he considers whether or not to say it out loud. „Oh what now San? You really cant hit us with the TMI, we know too much about you already, there’s no shred of dignity left for you to destroy anyway.“ Hongjoong speaks up, finally calling for some literal clarity.

„But not when they’re at it like Rabbits!“ San hisses, slightly embarrassed as he feels his face warm dangerously. Hongjoong and Jongho burst out laughing and Seonghwa covers his face to hide the way that his jaw dropped. „Oh my god San!“

San groans, hands falling into his face as he leans back in the chair. „Im so fucked you guys have no idea!“ Jongho, the little shit, only laughs louder, „I thought the problem is that you aren’t!“

[amuyyi]

recess .

synopsis; you were an ideal student. obedient, quiet, educated, and experienced. oh haewon was not. immature and childish, yet still above you academically and with everyone wrapped around her finger. everyone except you. you refuse to be reeled in by her natural charm and hope to make it out of this project alive, with or without her.

trope; non idol!haewon x fem!reader, sort of academic rivals to lovers, uni au, fluff,

wc; 5.1k

cw; some swearing

a/n; just wanted to write something a little silly :3 seeing haewon with kids is so </3 didnt proofread again and im zzzz

“… and Song y/n, your partner will be Oh Haewon.”

“WHAT?!” A pair of shrill voices rang out throughout the classroom, causing not only the students but also the professor to jump at the sudden sound. 

You wildly grip at the pen within your hand, the plastic material beneath your fingers creaking and threatening to break at any second. No. There's no way you’re paired up with her.

Oh Haewon, second year university student, business major, and the bane of your existence. 

She is loud, immature, annoying, always out partying, a chronic class-skipper, never pays attention during lectures, and never actually talks about the material during discussion. She claims that everything she does is a form of “networking,” but you don't buy it. It's all just an excuse to keep on slacking off. Despite this, almost everybody who came across Oh Haewon’s path practically fell in love with her at first sight. 

Everyone except you. 

The worst part about it all? Was the fact that she was seemingly the best performing student out of all the classes you two ended up taking together. She somehow managed to even beat you. No matter how good you do during exams or projects, or how long you dedicate to studying, Haewon always manages to get a higher score. You don’t think she even studies!

You, Song y/n, were a perfect student. Business major, second year, and valedictorian of your graduating high school class. You were quiet, but confident, you always turned your assignments in on time and dedicated many hours of rigorous study time for all of your classes. You held a paid internship on campus as well as an executive board position within a business club on campus and a volunteer organization as well. The odds were entirely in your favor.

Your horrified gaze slowly shifts towards the other girl from across the room, who sat in her seat with her hands dug deep within her dark bobbed hair. Seems like Haewon wasn't all too fond of the idea of being your partner either.

Timidly raising your hand, you try to speak up, try to fight for better treatment for you and your sanity, but the professors ice cold glare cuts you off as he speaks,

“As of now, partner assignments are final. If there are genuine issues between partners that hinder either one's ability to create an effective marketing strategy, come to me in a week. No sooner. I specifically hand picked your partners for a reason.” 

You silently slump back down into your seat, defeated, and you can hear a faint thump from across the classroom. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Haewon’s face buried within her desk. Must’ve slammed her head into the table at the news. You would have done the same if you cared as little for your image as Haewon did.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

The sound of snickering and nails quickly tapping against a phone screen was all you could hear within the silent study room. Your eyebrow twitches irritably as you try to focus on the powerpoint slide in front of you, but the words on the screen seem to melt into one another as you hear the girl slam her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. 

Unable to subdue your temper, you slam your laptop screen shut, the sound bouncing off the rooms walls as Haewon jumps within her seat, nearly dropping her phone as she stares at you with comically wide eyes. 

“Are you serious right now, Haewon? I haven’t even seen you actually add anything to the presentation since we got here.” 

The shorter girl rolls her eyes as she leans back in her chair, avoiding your gaze as she responds, “We already established who’s doing what, I can just do it later,” She shrugs, and the careless sight irritates you to no end. “You do the more technical stuff like research, budgeting, or whatever,  while I do the stuff that actually matters like target audience analysis and promotion– ‘cause I highly doubt you know how to actually charm potential investors with that stick up your a–”

Heat rapidly rushes to your face as you lunge forward across the table, hand slamming onto the table as you stick your finger in Haewon’s face to cut off her sentence. “That is just… So… Disgusting!! How can you even speak to me like that?!” 

You knew how to socialize and talk to people…! It's just that nobody ever wanted to stick around, that's all… And you preferred it that way, actually. Nobody can drag you down if you simply stick to your numbers and graphs, no people involved.

Haewon snickers at your response as you sit back down, rubbing your temples as you try to steady your breathing, a bit embarrassed that you allowed yourself to snap like that in front of her of all people..

“Look, if you were just going to do it all at home, why are you still here?” You try to speak in a neutral tone, but it was difficult to remain composed after your outburst. You can feel your eyebrow twitching once again as you speak.

A sinister smirk forms on her lips as she finally looks you in the eye. “‘cause I know it pisses you off.” 

You have to firmly bite the inside of your cheek to the point where you worry about drawing blood in order to hold yourself back from tackling this girl and beating her to a pulp right then and there. Taking a deep breath, you simply open your laptop and get back to organizing the format of the presentation in silence. Fine then. She can go on and be that way and be uncooperative. What did it matter to you? It seemed like you had to do most of the work, as always. From above the top of your laptop, you can spot Haewon rolling her eyes once again and resume texting whoever may be taking her attention away on the phone.

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Unfortunately, Haewon was not as incapable as you expected her to be. She actually put some effort into her parts of the project, and they were actually pretty good. She knew exactly what people wanted, and even proposed ideas you never would have thought to be effective on your own. Haewon was a people’s person, and people with that kind of natural charm make it far within the world of business. Asking to change partners would prove inefficient for you.

You’d never tell her that to her face though. 

For the rest of the month, you and Haewon had come to a mutual agreement. Meet once a week on Wednesdays, around 2-4 PM at the business building on campus. Work on the project, then leave. More often than not, the two of you would work in silence, and you simply chose to not make any comments if she happened to be on her phone giggling to herself during the session. She wasn’t worth it. Besides, you had other things to worry about. Upcoming midterms, exec board event planning, your internship. It was a lot, but you could handle it as long as everything went according to your precise and calculated schedule.

Haewon had been pretty respectful of your established meeting time for the past three weeks, but of course, something had to come up when week four came around. Right when you had another major presentation for your business club to prepare for as well. You had been settled down into the study room you always rented out every Wednesday tapping away at your laptop when your phone vibrated. Unusual. You had do not disturb on. 

Oh Haewon [13:55] – hey

Oh Haewon [13:55] –  i wont be able to make it to the business building on time today

Oh Haewon [13:55] – i would ask to rain check but i know ull throw a fit bc i ruined ur schedule or sum

Oh Haewon [13:55]  – so can u just meet me at the child development lab instead?

… Child development laboratory? Your eyebrows knit together as you stare at the text on your screen. What could she possibly be doing there?

Come to think of it, you don’t really know much about Haewon to begin with. You tried to rack your brain for any information about your class partner outside of the obvious, and… Nothing. You knew nothing of her hobbies, interests, actual activity outside of her public outings. Not that she really mattered or interested you in the slightest, but the idea of simply being out of the loop with someone who played a major part in your weekly schedule made you a bit… Uncomfortable?

Sighing, you begin to pack up your belongings. She could have at least told you this before you already arrived and got settled in the private study room. That's what you get for being 30 minutes early to everything, you suppose. You now either have to move everything in your schedule back, or do a whole revamp of the entire week. You take a breath. It’ll be fine. 

If your memory serves you correctly (in which it always does) the next bus that arrives will take you near the lab. An annoyed huff leaves your lips as you zip up your bag. So much for routine.

Your phone rings out one more time.

Oh Haewon [14:07] — skasdkfj apple kjj k

You’re convinced Oh Haewon has officially gone crazy.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

After hopping off the bus and walking in whatever direction Google Maps told you to go, you eventually found yourself at the doors of a building you’ve only ever occasionally passed by on walks. It had a mural of multiple colorful images along its walls, from a giant sun with a smiley face to different kinds of flowers and other doodles scribbled on the brick. Your eyes shift towards the side, where a fenced in play area lay. The sounds of multiple children laughing and screaming made a small smile form on your lips, and you couldn’t help but approach the edge of the fence to watch the young ones play.

You weren’t all too big on kids, more focused on your own academics and staying afloat while in university, but the sight of them still managed to soften your harsh demeanor. They were so innocent and pure, you sometimes wish you could go back in time and relive your childhood once more. You catch sight of a little girl chasing another, flower in hand. The both of them laughing excitedly before one screamed out, “let's go show Haewon-unnie!!” 

Haewon-unnie?

Cocking your head to the side in confusion, you watch as the pair of girls scamper towards the wall of the building, where a very preoccupied Haewon remains, squatting down while a horde of children literally climb all over her. One of the kids had a hold of her phone, and another was choking her, his arms wrapped around her neck in an attempt to dangle off of her like some sort of monkey bar. 

You would’ve laughed at the sight if it didn’t look like Haewon was on the brink of actually getting taken out by a mass of children.

“Haewon?” You call out.

The smothered girl’s head whips towards the direction of your voice, though she struggled to exactly spot you as one of the little girls started to cover her eyes very aggressively as she begged for a turn to play with Haewon.

“Y-Y/n?” She squeaks out, gently shaking the climbing kids off her as she meets you at the fence, one of the kids in her arms as the rest of the kids flock after her. It almost looked like she was a mother duck with her little ducklings. 

The child in her arms was holding a rolled up pillbug, and you find yourself incing away at the sight of the isopod, a bit deterred from bugs. “Hey,” Haewon simply greets, looking a bit exhausted, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the kids or the sight of you.

“Hey…” you greet back awkwardly, looking down at all of the kids by Haewons feet. You had no idea how old they were— honestly you had no idea how kids of specific ages were supposed to look like, but with how these kids were acting, you assumed they were possibly around kindergarten age? 

Each and every kid had something very interesting to say.

“Haewon-unnie, can you please play pretend with us? We need a dog!!”

“Haewon-noona, look at this dead mantis I found!!”

“Haewon-unnie, who's that?? She's reaaallllyy pretty !! Can she play with us?”

“Yeah yeah!! Can she? Huh??”

Haewons face immediately flushes red as she uses her free hand to cover one of the little girl’s face in its entirety as she goes, “Hyunjoo, shush!”

You cover your mouth with your hand to hide the smile forming on your lips, “So… Is this what's stopping you from being able to meet today?”

An exasperated sigh escapes Haewons lips as she nods, “I can't leave until one of the workers or researchers on shift turns up and it's been like an hour and nobody has shown.”

A small frown tugs on your lips as you listen to what Haewon has to say, watching as multiple children tug at the hem of her shirt from every direction, and one was even trying to untie her shoe. Haewon looked.. Helpless, albeit a bit desperate as well. None of this was your problem really, worst case scenario you just had to do Haewon’s half of the work that was meant to be completed today. Yet you still find yourself looking between the overwhelmed Haewon and the kids and feel a sense of familiarity towards the circumstance… You can't believe you were doing this. 

“I.. Can probably help you out until someone arrives.”

Haewons eyes widen as the kid in her arms tries to feed her the pillbug, in which she arches her head away as she speaks, “Really? I wont be messing up your perfectly punctual schedule you have for today? I bet you had to make some sacrifices to come here.” She teases near the end of her sentence, and you feel your face heating up once again.

“I don't….!” You exhale, “Have a schedule…” You lie through your gritted teeth before shaking your head, “Look, do you want my help or not? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get back to–”

“The project, yeah yeah I know. That's all it is with you, isn't it?”

Offended, you open your mouth to retort until Haewon opens up the fence gate to allow you in, immediately sending around two or three children your way, tugging at your hands, shirt, and pant legs as they guide you inside.

“Don’t be too rough with her, guys!”

For the next hour or so, you had learned a lot whilst working with the children at the lab.

For starters, you had learned that Hyunjoo had a crush on Jeonghyun last week, but now has a crush on Hwan after Jeonghyun accidentally spilt grape juice on her dress. Also, Bora and Somin are best friends, but only one of them got invited to Kiwoo’s birthday party on Saturday, so there's some unresolved tension in the air.

Alongside the lives of these children at the facility, you also learned a bit about Haewon. 

“Yeah, I spend my free time volunteering here when I don’t have class. There's not a lot of teachers here who research, and there's even less students majoring in child education or anywhere else in a similar, so I figured it’d be nice to help out while my schedule is still free,” Haewon says while sat down in a comically small chair, watching as a small girl pours muddy dirt water from a toy teapot into her even tinier toy teacup. 

“A lot of parents within the town need a place to drop their kids off while they work their usual nine to fives, and the children's education department needs all the help it can get. Sometimes I skip class to cover shifts just so these kids aren't alone… And sometimes I just skip because I’m hungover,” she chuckles.

You feel your heart melt a bit at Haewon’s words as you hold one end of a jump rope, aiding the two girls from before in their game. Haewon was actually… Sweet? At least with kids. They all seemed to naturally flock to her, and she had no problem talking and interacting with them in return. You on the other hand were a bit awkward with the kids, but it was alright because kids don’t think anything is awkward at this age. This wasn't the lazy, inconsiderate asshole you’ve been despising for the past year.

Staying silent, you nod as you simply listen to Haewon ramble on, sharing little tid bits and stories of her life you never would have heard otherwise.

“I tried to get my roommate, Jinsol, to join me one day and it went to actual shi– I mean, it went horribly,” Haewon corrected herself with a very indiscreet cough before continuing on, “They all ignored her! When she tried talking to them she made the kids cry. She didn't even do anything and they already didn't like her!” She laughs out as she makes her way to tend to another kid, a little boy latched onto her leg as she goofily limps her way across the playground.

“Still, I’m surprised they like you so much. You’re normally such a stick in the mud. Maybe the kids see something I don't.”

Furrowing your brows, you look back at Haewon, but she was already preoccupied trying to separate two boys that were trying to make beetles fight in a plastic bucket. See something she doesn't? What does she even mean by that?

The children had the both of you running around like headless chickens. A pair of girls wanted to play house with you two, and assigned you and Haewon as “mom” and “dad.” Needless to say, it was awkward, the first interactions between you and the shorter girl being rather stiff and tense– but you also learned that you are actually an incredible child actor once you got into it, and played the role of “mommy” perfectly in (all of) their eyes.  

Another pair of boys wanted to use you and Haewon for a piggy back ride race. Apparently, being cooped up inside studying all of the time did not make you the most fit person, and Haewon quite literally left you and your piggyback partner in the dust. You couldn’t be mad about it though, she the kid looked happy.

In due time, a fellow university student finally arrived, apologizing profusely for the tardiness as Haewon simply waves her off, insisting it wasn’t a big deal and she wore out the kids to make things easier for the next shift.

The pair of you wave goodbye to the kids as you close the fence gate behind you, dusting off your hands as Haewon lets out a sigh of relief, taking a moment to relax and stretch as a cool breeze picks up. You decide to close your eyes and take in the peace as well. You don't know when was the last time you really did anything “fun” or even let loose for that matter. The kids were a lot, but it was refreshing. Different.

The sound of Haewons stomach growling breaks the comforting silence, and you open your eyes, looking at the shorter girl with a quirked brow.

“Have you not eaten yet?”

“Ahah… No.” She sheepishly comments, “Normally I grab something to bite between my shift and our study sesh on Wednesday, but I’ve been helping out for hours by now.”

Unexpectedly, a wave of concern washes over you as she speaks. 

“It doesn’t matter though, let's find somewhere to finish up the last part of our project and we can finally leave each other alo–”

“You’re going to eat.” The words almost seemed foreign coming out of your mouth, or perhaps they felt that way because you were speaking them to Haewon.

Confused, Haewon stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. “What?”

“You’re going to eat,” you repeat matter of factly, “You can't focus on the project if you’re hungry.” 

Quickly tapping into your phone and looking into google maps, you were quickly able to find a restaurant nearby for the two of you to dine at. 

“There's a restaurant about a 10 minute walk away from here. It closes at 7. We’re going.”

Before Haewon can even get a proper response out, you had already grabbed onto her wrist. You really didn’t want to think too hard about what you were doing… What are you even doing? Shaking your head, you drag her down the street, the bob haired girl nearly tripping on her own two feet before she falls in line next to you, just about as confused and unsure as you were.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

The walk to the restaurant was… Fine. Albeit a bit awkward. Haewon wasn’t really expecting you to take her somewhere to do anything but study, and you weren't really expecting yourself to do that either. Apparently Haewon was the type to strike up conversation when things become awkward– unfortunately for the both of you, you were the complete opposite. So for the next 10 minutes, Haewon would make some off comment and you would simply mumble or hum in response.

Soon enough the two of you arrive at the restaurant and its definitely more on the high-end side. Dark yet warm mood lighting illuminated the interior, and the pair of you were seated near a quiet corner of the establishment, a charming bell shaped light hovering above the two of you as you blink. This setup was a bit more… Romantic, than expected; but if the food was as good as the place looked, you decide it was worth looking past.

You were handed menus as well as lemon water, and you peek over the paper to look at the girl across from you.

“Order whatever you want, I'll pay.”

A dry laugh escapes Haewons lips as she places the menu back down on the table, “oh no you’re not.”

Her response catches you off guard, and it 100% was shown in the contortions on your face. You were certain she would have jumped on the opportunity for free food. This girl was simply full of surprises, wasn't she?

“You helped me out today with the kids, I’m paying you back like the gentlewoman I am.” Haewon’s statement was firm, but you were stubborn.

“Oh yeah? With what money?”

“Hey!! I work for my money! You don't know me as well as you think you do, y/n.”

“Uh huh… so tell me then. Who is the true Oh Haewon?”

After placing your orders (you had gotten malatang while Haewon very stubbornly got herself an order of galbi and a strawberry lemonade) Haewon props her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands as she smirks, “what do you want to know?”

You guys then proceeded to spend the next two hours eating and chatting. Turns out Haewon wasn't all too bad company when she wasn’t existing to purely spite you. Haewon shared many interesting things about herself, like how she actually doesn’t like drinking at the endless networking parties she attends, or how she was actually fluent in spanish, or how she had no idea what she wanted to do the first year of college, but ended up transferring into business because it was the only thing that simply clicked for her. After some pressure, she even caved in, reluctantly admitting to be… Envious of you?

“Me??”

“Uh, yeah! I mean I do well in my classes and stuff, but you practically reek of academic perfection— it's actually kind of sickening,” she snorts, taking a bite into the meat on her plate as you roll your eyes. “You’re basically every professors favorite ideal student.”

“Me?? The favorite??” You scoff, “I thought you were the favorite! You act out and talk about anything in class and the professors still love you regardless! You get nearly perfect grades on every exam and have a million friends in every department, you don’t even have to try!”

“Seriously? No way. I know I'm funny and all, but I know the professors are disappointed I wasn't involved with any extracurriculars or anything. Probably think I'm wasted potential.”

“Well I know for sure they were concerned I have like, no friends or connections. That's wasted potential.” 

“Wait— do you think—“

A moment of realization hits both of you like a truck.

“Ohhhh… that's why professor Wang paired us up.”

“Yup.”

A short pause passes between the two before you snort, holding back a laugh as Haewon giggles, running a free hand through her hair as she shakes her head, “That's so dumb…”

Allowing a comfortable silence to pass, you finish up your food. It was good, and you kept your eyes out for the server to approach so you could pay. Haewon had excused herself to the bathroom, and you paid no mind to it as you absentmindedly scroll through your phone, remaining attentive to your surroundings as you do so. 

After a few minutes, Haewon returns, a very untrustworthy smile curled on her lips as you squint at the sight. What is she trying to get at?

“Alright, let's head out!”

You look up at Haewon from your seat in confusion, “but I didnt pa—“

That familiar smug grin was plastered on Haewon’s face again. “I paid for it already.”

“What?! How? When?” 

“I didn’t actually use the bathroom.” She snickers while leaning on the table, arms crossed in satisfaction.

Haewon seemed to have more manners than you expected as well, it seemed. She beat you at your own game, as she always seems to do. You’re left there shocked for what felt like a whole minute before you shake your head, chuckling dryly as you get out of your seat. 

“Okay Oh Haewon, you win this time. Let's go.”

Haewon wiggles her eyebrows teasingly as she follows you out the doors, “‘this time,’ huh? Are you implying there will be a second time?” 

You raise your hand to silence the shorter girl, and she can't help but laugh at the gesture. You bite your lip to hold back your own laughter, but a silent puff of air still manages to escape your feeble attempts.

Her eyes light up as she notices this. “Aha! I saw that! Come on now, y/n. Why are you holding back on me? What? Are you afraid to show any signs you might like me a little now?”

Under normal circumstances, you’d find yourself seething with rage at the other girl's comments. You’d think to yourself: who was she to poke fun at you? She's nothing but rude, childish, and every other insult above. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t be allowing yourself to laugh freely into the air, the sky above you and Haewon slowly morphing from blue to orange as you finally release all of the tension pent up within you. 

But this wasn’t a normal circumstance. You honestly had no idea how you even really ended up here to be honest. You were supposed to be at home by now, typing away at yet another project for some big club or company in your large sea of responsibilities. Instead, you find yourself walking down the sidewalk on the outskirts of campus with no other than Oh Haewon, your (now seemingly one sided) academic rival, laughing away, and actually thoroughly enjoying her company.

The pair of you find yourselves back at the lab, but the air was quiet this time, the stars above beginning to emerge from the blanket of night. You lean your back back on the fence, arms propped up behind you as you look back at Haewon as she stands in front of you. You weren't that much taller than her, maybe by an inch or so, but the fact that she had to crane her neck ever so slightly in order to make eye contact with you gave you a teeny tiny ego boost. 

You can’t believe you were smiling right now, and it was because of the girl in front of you. “Y’know, I thought I had you pegged, but turns out I was wrong. You’re not all too bad when you decide to be.”

Haewon grins playfully back at you, absentmindedly fiddling with her fingers as she nods, “You’re not as prissy and snobby as I thought you were either.”

You simply hum in response, taking a moment to look back up at the stars scattered throughout the sky. If you didn’t go out tonight, you would've missed all of this. You can't remember the last time you actually took a moment to enjoy the night. It was beautiful.

“So… About this ‘next time’ you mentioned…” 

Your gaze shifts back down to Haewon, and you notice she's inched closer. Smiling, you remain leaning on the fence, undeterred. “What about it?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, y/n. Are you saying you want to see me again even after this project is done?”

It's finally your turn to be smug. “And what if I am?”

Haewon is caught off guard. “...Then… I would also like that.”

Your smile softens as you take one of her hands in yours. Haewon’s hands were surprisingly small, and also quite soft. You slowly raise it to your lips and plant a soft kiss on the back of it, letting the feeling linger for a moment before pulling away, still holding her hand in yours as you look at Haewon. Her pale skin turns bright red for the second time today. A soft laugh leaves your lips at the sight. 

“Cute.”

Unfortunately, your romantic gestures are met with a punch to your side and a flustered groan as Haewon twirls around in an attempt to hide her face. “You really are annoying, you know that?!” She exclaims, already walking in the opposite direction as you chuckle. When was the last time you had fun like this?

“So. Same time next week?” You call out, and you’re very charmingly met with a childish middle finger stuck into the air. With that gesture alone, you already know she’ll make it to the next project meeting right on time.

[noctilu-uca]

This little freakster is apparently really really courteous and gentlemanly as said by the nrc students. He uses very highly respectable honorifics for EVERYONE even the people his own age (hes 16-ish i think) and is generally a very polite person and speaks eloquently. So very eloquently that it gets really odd since we rarely see that type of speech from someone so young in twst. As we know, halloween fanatic. BIIIGGG halloween fanatic. his hometown apparently worshiped jack skellington and saw him as the creator of halloween so basically grew up in weirdly halloween religious town. At school he was very ostracized (assuming he didnt go to school in his hometown, dont know if its NRC or RSA, best to assume its not) because the students dont share his interests and find him weird. Ended up in a book, the book his IDOL jack skellington resides in, forgotten by history, yet he aimlessly wandered the forest and never opened the holiday doors despite it being the only thing different in the forest

Theres many theories, skully might be dead, might be a ghost, OOORRR. a fae. there is many things that supoort these theories because. 1. Skully doesnt seem to have the same background knowledge as the NRC students. 2. doesnt seem to know the existence of very common things in twst, things that even the 700+ year old lilia remembers very well and can recount the change of expresison over time (magic stones). 3. He seems to think people dont know about halloween, or at the minimum gets OVERLY excited and surprised that people know of the *existence* of halloween. Theres more thingd but i cant remember them right now

But me ? What i think ? I think skully just grew up in an overly conservative town and he doesnt really *know* the outside world and its perspective because its all hes known. Of course my knowledge is limited bc this is a jp event WAAHHH but i know enough to make a decent inference

Despite being halloweens no.1 fan. Hes very odd about its expression...? He had odd rules, i dont remember them all but it was weird things like ALL BLACK. NO COLOURS. NO CANDY. NO MUSIC. NO DANCING. THIS IS SERIOUS AND SHOULD BE RESPECTED.

Anyway my point is that his expression of halloween is very serious very conservative and is almost treated like a wake or a funeral of some kind tbh. He also said that the "bad" ghosts should be beaten away despite halloween being the celebration of ALL ghosts (NRC students fought him on this one) which kinda just shows theres some moral "sin" he believes exists with halloween. Of course, expression is always subjective and hes free to do whatever he wants but he gets wayyy too upset when someone tries to go against whatever rules he places down for halloween. Way too upset. Ofc the NRC students (leona) weren't *always* nice about expressing their objections but it was still odd. He romanticizes halloween (much like how jack romanticizes christmas) yet turns it into something you would see at a weird church ? Hm.

And even with all that, he met jack !! His idol !! Wow omg !! But the thing is, when jack is planning halloween for the year skully actively dislikes his ideas. Despite idolizing him. Of course he goes along with it anyway because wow idol but, again, really odd

So my thoughts on this predicament, skully grew up in a religious, small, conservative town. And when he moved out and explored the world he was met with ostracism, and when he found an escape (the book) he dug himself into his fixation and refuses to leave the world hes built himself. He rarely talks about his outside world experiences, rarely talks about his hometown unless its in reference to his fixation. His views stay stuck with the conservative approach despite being told time and time again that it isnt the *right* way to approach. Even, indirectly, by his own idol whom he had been projecting onto. But even with people pointing out his skewed ways, he stays stuck. Refusing to redirect his approach and stay with what he has always done and always wanted to do.

Escapism and reality are very big themes im seeing, thats all.

I COULD BE SO WRONG PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CORRECT OR ADD INFO IM NOT CONFIDENT ABOUT ANYTHING I AM POSTING ABOUT THIS GUY I LEARNED THIS ALL SECOND HAND AND DIDNT LOOK BACK FOR REFERENCE THIS IS STRAIGHT HOT OFF THE NOGGIN !!!!!

[almalvo]

hi guys sorry ive been gone

hey yall. i hope youre doing ok.

so many of these, right? im sorry...

i know i have been silent on this platform, its because life hit another road bump and i just wasnt able to focus on more than one platform for a while due to the stress and pressure, so i took a hiatus on everywhere but twitter. i was focusing on twitter and suddenly out of nowhere got hit with an erroneous suspension (twitter's automated system thought i was a bot, so im trying to get this appealed so we will see, fingers crossed smh...)

but yeah, i havent forgotten my other platforms - i just needed a break and was barely able to focus on one for a time.

with this wild false suspension on twt, i realise i really do need to focus on keeping alive my other platforms simultaneously in case stuff like this happens. it was devastating to find out what happened to my twt in the morning because i have SO many very important contacts connections and clients on there from small to big names and industry professionals, im taking a huge blow to my financial survivability and my work as a creator and im not sure how to deal with this as it has been my main lifeline during this very unstable time in my life due to irl circumstances.

i apologise, i shouldve announced a hiatus on my other platforms but i didnt bc i didnt know it would go that way. please forgive me.

i will start returning to tumblr and instagram this week. all content will be updated. my one concern is my art deals with mature themes and twitter ngl has been the only place where such content has been allowed without me having to be too concerned with the TOS of the site. obviously thus is not true on IG and tumblr. i do have a bluesky, i plan to boost myself on there as best i can but it is still an infant social media site where theres just simply NOT enough people on there. if you guys want to also follow my bluesky, please do so here.

i am really really working hard on top of irl life to build a name for myself so i can approach doing big projects and things and actually have my silly art go somewhere. the recent events have been very detrimental to that. i think it is time i rebuild on here, IG, and bluesky, regardless if my twt main comes back or not. if it doesnt, i may have to make another twitter. hopefully it doesnt come to that, hopefully twt support, however shoddy, will pull through this time. but i will keep you guys updated.

i dont think my content is really gonna fly very far on these three other platforms, but ill try my best.

im very sad, but in the end, i wont give up, and the goal was only ever to enjoy posting whatever silly ideas i have that people can also find some value in and enjoy too.

to those who have found me and stuck around, thank you so much for your patience.

i will return.

almalvo

[little-luna-llama]

It is time

We made it to Christmas

a shadowvani and custard family fic.

Originally given to the shadowvani server and a few others as a treat.

Vanilla could hear the giggles and light steps before they reached the door and pushed it open just enough to squeeze in. Understandable, yet still snuggled under the covers in a position too comfy to simply move he stayed. He'd made his intent clear last night and he highly doubts he's this tired at a sensible time to be awake.

Luckily Shadow Milk is there to receive their little guest as they clamber up and onto the sheets, and the giggles and laughs are intentionally kept quiet, which Vanilla does appreciate. He grapples little Custard cookie iii playfully and scoops him up into a half cuddle-half tickle hold.

"And what on earth are you doing up?" His tickle interrogation strategy with no real malice loosens just the slightest to let custard have a slight reprieve.

"Haha- it's chris'ma-ha-as."

"Is it? Are you sure? I don't think it is."

"Ye-ha-yes! I wanna open-snrk- presents!!"

That prompts vanilla to open his eyes and look towards the clock, his staff helped clear the image from where he propped it up.

7 am.

Not terrible, in all honestly. He was expecting it to be earlier. Yet he still had Rules and sighed.

"No presents yet." He groaned tiredly. "7.30 was the agreement."

He didn't have to strain to hear their whispers.

"Awh dad please!"

"Oh come on 'nilly, how could you say no to that face?"

Vanilla rolled over, both of them were pouting near identically. He found it more funny than convincing, especially knowing shadow had put custard up to it instead of the other way around.

"No. 30 minutes."

He rolled over and closed his eyes again.

There was no real issue. As Vanilla dozed Shadow Milk simply rolled his eyes with a playful "Humbug-! We tried. Kiddo.", and helped Custard under the quilt.

When said 30 minutes were up and Vanilla woke up properly, he saw the two sat together and playing with projected stars. Custard seemed instantly more interested in what Vanilla sitting up meant and half of the stars flickered out.

"Yes, we can go downstairs now." Vanilla chuckled at the sight.

Despite being a child at Christmas, Custard was actually incredibly well mannered and got out of bed to get Vanilla's staff and hand it over gently....

Then he hopped out of the room at a proper speed.

Vanilla felt hands helping him up to stand and heard shadow milks warm, real laugh.

"Kids amirite?"

Vanilla looked at the former beast and smiled. The mental change had been much grander than the physical one for shadow milk, but he can't help but look at him and just be glad he was here.

His glasses were also a little crooked. So Vanilla used it as an excuse to draw closer and correct them, at which the other took the chance to bring their lips together.

"Kids." He agreed as they walked towards the door. He gave shadows hand a little squeeze. He knew this was a big deal, so many conversations and doubts on the beasts part if he would even get this far. He certainly hadn't been on the nice list at first, but despite it all he kept putting in the effort.

"Well done. You made it."

"Yeah....i did." He breathed. Despite not being as reliant on deceit as he had been, shadow milk didn't let his true feelings come out so easily. His typical demeanor came back a second later.

"Did you have any doubt?" He smirked.

"No. I didnt." Vanilla answered truthfully and openly, watching shadows heart melt through his eyes and being rewarded with another kiss.

"Come on, you gotta stop all this kissy talk or someones going to get impatient." The beast teased, and finally they met Custard downstairs in the sitting room.

Custard asked to be in charge of handing out the presents, and with no objections the older two sat down. Shadow was content in his mind to sit and watch Custard open all his presents first, so he was surprised when custard put a present that certainly hadn't been there the night before on his lap.

It was fairly big he knew custard and Vanilla had gotten him something smaller. The paper was unfamiliar as well, dark blue and shiny with a purple ribbon as opposed to the paper the three had spent an afternoon making themselves a few weeks ago.

The label was addressed to him.

To: Shadow Milk Cookie.

For your hard work.

Signed with a gift box and no name.

"Its not-"

"Its a present from the holidays silly!" Custard smiled, handing Vanilla one labelled the same way, with the third in his lap.

"Like mr eggnog cookie!"

Oh.

He opens it, and swears he won't cry.

There's another box under the paper, but inside that is a carefully made, beautiful doll.

A doll that, with that blonde hair, white dress, little tiara and a golden whisk, looks identical to the witch that made him.

"H-Harmony-" He takes it out and gives it a hug, it's firm enough for him to grip, but soft enough to fit perfectly how he likes it.

"Shes so pretty! Is her name Harmony?" Custard asks, Shadow doesn't trust his words and simply nods.

Vanilla pats his shoulder, a silent question of are you okay?

He nods again, gently setting her in his lap and looking at his family's gifts. Vanilla unwrapped a beautiful coloured glass wind chime that twinkled in the light of the window where he hung it. Custard had some watercolour pencils wrapped in a nice sturdy case painted with rabbits.

Vanilla and Shadow shared a look when custard showed them the rabbits, 2 bigger and 1 smaller, were painted blue, yellow and gold.

Whoever had handled their presents had scarily good taste.

The other presents were next. Custard had a bundle of different art supplies: a hollyberrian sewing kit and some patterns, some cacaonian charcoal and inks, a sketchbook set for said supplies made from the golden cheese kingdom, some models from Strawberry crepe, a few craft books from gingerbrave, Wizard and Strawberry and a cute new winter coat Shadow Milk was proud to say he worked hard on.

Vanilla had a bespoke blouse, a new cacaonian journal Shadow knew Vanilla loved to write in, a familiar golden feather fashioned into a quill(that had a noticeable spice scent), a box of tea blends, a silver hair ornament, and from Shadow Milk a music box that played his favourite song.

Shadow was surprised again when more than 2 presents were his. He gave vanilla a knowing grin when he opened a journal of his own. Custards gift was a glasses chain, hand strung and just the right length when he slipped it on.

"Now you won't forget them." Custard giggled mischievously at the look he must have given the younger.

The third made him laugh- a spicy tea blend he remembers he used to adore wayyyyy back when. Some people could say vanilla softened him up, but Burning Spice? Golden Cheese has him wrapped around her finger. He'll have to have Vanilla try some

Last but not least, there was a silver pen with a matching stand and an undeniable lily scent.

He knew he was going to be seeing everyone at Hollyberry's Holiday Masquerade so he'd have to say thank you then, which warmed his heart. Not forgotten. Still cared about.

Speaking of cared about, Shadow Milk spent the rest of the day with Vanilla and Custard, they walked through the snowy streets and ate dinner together, they curled up under the blankets for an hour or two reading, and walked custard through the snow once more to gingerbraves sleepover. After hugs and goodnights and see you tomorrows were exchange it left only himself and Vanilla walking back home, with the hero drawing noticeably closer and closer and threading their arms together the closer they got.

Maybe he got one more present behind closed doors. Nobody would ever know.

[carbohydratedfella]

Gif by @/batterycityghoul

William Afton/Steve Raglan x Reader

>> Short drabble. William comes home beat up and you take care of him. Can be read as Gn, Male or Female reader

>> IDK words.

>> CW/TW: Blood and Mentions of Injury. Mostly fluff.

...

Steve Raglan, or as you later came to learn William Afton, was always a busy man. Not only with the double life stuff, but also with his side projects.

You didnt understand ANY of It.

Remnant? Kid's drawings? You tried to understand him, you really did, but it just seemed so messy and convoluted you stopped asking many questions, you only knew about a small part of the story, the parts he'd be willing to tell you.

But one thing was certain, you never found out about his murders.

He didnt bring home any problems and always tried his best to fit you in his day to day life, with a call or with dinner toguether, so honestly, what did you have to complain?

...

This night he had come home later than usual, surely It was just another work stunt right? Maybe he got ahead of himself in his project? Or maybe It was just traffic. You tried to rationalize your thoughts so they wouldn't go to any bad places, but the more time It passed, the worst they seemed to get.

Finally you heard the sound of keys dangling by the front porch, in a flash you were headed downstair to the front door. Expecting to meet him with just his usual tired expression but...no...

His yellow shirt was now painted in crimson blood, to the point the shirt was basically glinging to his chest. His face beaten and with a really big bruise under his eyes.

You gasped.

"oh my- William! What happened?"

Your face imediatly filled with worry, and yet, he seemed calm.

"Im fine love, I just-"

He groaned and inhaled deeply. Slowly stretching his back despite the ache he felt back there. He then finally sighed and rubbed your shoulder.

"-need a shower"

You shook your hand, oh no, he didnt JUST need a shower. He could be stubborn but you werent about to let him just stay Injured.

You grabbed his arm and locked the front door again.

"Cmon, let me take care of you"

His eyebrowns raised in amusement, but he definitelly wasnt gonna deny your kind offer.

You pulled him towards your shared bathroom, and set him down on the closet toilet seat.

You slowly helped him get undressed, throwing his soaked shirt to the ground. That shirt was better off being burned than being cleaned due to the sheer state of It.

And yet there was STILL more blood on his chest.

"Its not mine, dont worry"

He smirked at you. That revelation didnt help you calm down in the slightest.

"Very funny William"

You then helped him finish undressing them made him lay inside the bathtub, while you remained seated next to It on a stool.

The water felt warm and nice, the perfect temperature for him. He also likes the fact you didnt ask many questions abt how he even got to that state.

While you used the sponge to gently clean his back and neck, gently tracing over the scars he had there, he couldnt help but stare at you live a love filled gaze. I dont deserve you he thought.

You tenderness didnt stop when you started treating the big bruise under his eye.

"How did you even get that?"

"The guy was thoughter than I thought. Put up a good fight, but nothing I couldnt handle"

"You were attacked?!"

"Ehhhh not quite. You see...umm..."

Should he just say it? Just rip the bandage and finally admmit it to you? You never brothered to fully ask, but even so, how would you react? He couldnt risk loosing you, not now.

He simply shrugged and sighed

"..ah forget It. I'll tell you later, I'm a bit tired you see...heh"

You raise an eyebrown, the way his eyes were away and the small akward chuckle he left at the end raised your suspicious a bit more.

But who cares.

You finished tending to his wounds and soon enough you two were laying back in bed. Despite It all, he looked very beautiful to you, your thumb gently rubbing his cheek as you stared into each other's eyes.

"Don't scare me like that again ok?"

I asked worried. Him, on the other hand, simply nuzzled your hand and kisses your palm.

"Ok. I promisse"

...............

Author's note: merry christmans :3

[schlattslonghairytoes]

watching every single barbie movie 🎀 🩷

content creator ted nivison x actress reader

a youtuber dms you asking for help with a video, do you agree and meet this overly passionate film major, or opt out and possibly never meet the man of your dreams

ted had this video planned for months.

his goal was to watch every single barbie movie before the movie came out

and it was going well

the cast had already been announced and trailers had been released

and he had always loved your work

he thought you had a great filmography, and i mean, he also thought you were really hot

so he was really excited to see what you would bring to the screen

a week into his project he noticed he was getting a lot of attention on twitter (i'm not calling that shit X.)

he ignored it as usual, until his friend tucker told him he needed to go take a look, and tucker did not mess around about that stuff.

if he told you to check something, you better look.

he opened the clip of you and jack manifold, seemingly on his you laugh you lose series

the video started and you still maintained all three lives, while jack only had one left, you two were joking around and laughing

"objects ive shoved up my ass" was the next video and you and jack recited it together, almost making you laugh, ted was starting to regret listening to tucker, i mean this had nothing to do with him

until jack told chat to send in edits of his friends, and asked you to rate them, you agreed as that shit was funny, the first few rolled in, a couple "he's cute!" one "she's hot." but nothing that people cared about.

then came an edit of a man who you didnt know the name, but lord he was good looking, you barely even noticed how quiet, and red, you got

starstruck, you finally found words "jack who is that." jack was desperately trying to not laugh, as the stream was not near how long he wanted

"ted, my friend ted nivison" jack let out as he tried to calm his breathing.

you leaned close into your mic "chat, is this man accounted for." you stared intently at chat waiting for an answer, when you saw many no's you smiled

"this is a message to ted television- wait what was his name? nivison, doesnt even matter. if you see this, i want you. dm me, you beautiful, beautiful man." the stream quickly ended as jack couldnt keep it together.

ted was sat in bed, staring at his phone, for maybe twenty minutes, he rewatched the clip countless times

he was speechless

why was his celeb crush calling him beautiful?!?

he was too scared to dm you, like what if you didnt see it

or what if you just said it cause you were live?

so decided to grow a pair and ask jack for your number, it felt more formal that way.

the day after your stream with jack you recieved a text from an unknown number

and god you really hoped it was the man from the edit

so thats what you did, and he answered your facetime within two rings. hot.

his face and dopey grin filled the screen, as well as your heart "hi ted." you smiled at him

"hi." the call was silent for a while, as you two kinda just took the other in

"i have a question." ted finally broke the scilence when you nodded and gave him the go away he began his tangent.

"well as we know you are in the upcoming barbie movie, and ive began a project to watch every single barbie movie before i go and see the movie, i was wondering if you would like to maybe, be in the video, you of course dont have to, i understand if thats weird but i rea-"

"ill be in your video ted, just tell me where you want me and ill be there." ted smiled anxiously, you could tell how much this ment to him.

you two continued talking for the coming weeks

and became very close, like it was so obvious you wanted eachother

flirting, joking, and borderline sexting became normal for the two of you

and even with very tough scheduling

and alot of sacrifices

you were going to miss one interview to drive to teds house and spend a whole day watching barbie movies with him

finding out ted only lived like 45 minutes from you was the peak of your year

on your drive to his house you thought about how fast this man made an impact on your chaos filled life

you spent most days on camera with a mic in your face, being asked questions by people who dont know you

today you were gonna watch nine movies with someone who you actually hoped would never stop asking you questions

when you arrived at teds apartment, you were filled with excitement, what should you even do when you saw him, hug him, kiss him?

you were scared you were gonna make a decision you would later regret, but the moment the door flung open you knew that wasnt possible

ted launched at you and swept you off your feet in a bone crushing hug, and you couldnt of been happier.

you stayed like that for a moment until he finally let you down and you could actually get a good look at him

his tall frame filled your view, and you felt yourself going feral

the day was spent watching movies, the occasional makeout sesh, and filming for his youtube channel

lets just say, thank jack manifold, for getting you on that grind ;)

guys im back, still a little sick, but we prevail 💪

cant stop that jack manifold grind 😉

im so sorry the ending sucks butt, im so tired and want to nap, so the 5 of yall that read this will have to live

[doritochoi]

Forbidden Desire | C.S

pairing: choi san xfem!reader

genre: smut

warnings: unprotected sex, sex in your boss's office, san really likes to fuck you.

word count: 2.3k

A/n : I feel so happy that I finished this story. It's been a while since I last posted, but I'm back. I hope you liked it! Don't forget to leave a comment. Love you guys ❤❤

banner from @cafekitsune

Again a normal day when you had to go to work. It was a really beautiful day, you could see couples holding hands on the street, wondering what was wrong with you, or if someone loves you. After that incident 2 years ago, when your ex-boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, you don't trust anyone anymore. You swore you'd never fall in love again, until Choi San appeared in your life.

Choi San known as the millionaire from South Korea who maintains many companies, was the dream of many girls. All the girls you saw in the company were obsessed with him and did their best to talk to him. Unfortunately, you also liked him, even more than you think, but you surely thought that he would never look at you. Even if you were his secretary, you still couldn't do anything. Your feelings were growing more and more making you feel sad all the time. Today you were in the elevator, you were looking in the mirror, arranging yourself a little, then you heard a sound, knowing that you reached the floor where you should be. By chance, you saw that your boss's door was a little open, so you stopped to see what was happening. And there was Nancy, that flirty girl who is always in his office trying to get his attention. You ignored that, and went to your office, placing your laptop on the table. While you were working, you were surprised when it was San who entered your office. Usually when he enters your office, he calls you to get ready for important meetings or he needs help with a project, but today was the first day of the week and you were a little shocked to see him in your office. It was definitely something important. You weren't even paying attention to what he was saying. You were just looking at how he was dressed. That white shirt was a little transparent showing a small part of his abs. His pants fit perfectly, and his thighs looked so soft that you wanted to put your hand on them at that moment. Of course he saw how you were looking at him but he didnt said anything. "Did you understand?" , his voice scared you a little, waking you up to reality. Being his secretary, he expected more from you and all you could do was just stare at him. "Miss Y/n?" , the way he pronounced your name made you melt and it wasn't just that, the hands, the fingers, all the parts of his body. You thought what he could do to you with those long fingers. You didn't care about that you weren't paying attention to what he was explaining. Your mind was only full of dirty thoughts and dreams that you would like to fulfill in reality. "I would like to know why you aren't paying attention to me, miss. " , his body leans on your desk and his eyes making eye contact with you waiting for an answer. "I-i was just thinking about something..", he fixed his tie, looking insanely good, then getting ready to answer you. "Something like what?"

The tension was already too high, if he continued leaning on that desk like that you could make a wrong step and you certainly didn't want that to happen, so you stood up, heading for the door. But something unexpected happens. While you were rushing as fast as possible to get out of the same room with San, he grabs your hand and pinned you to the wall, looking into your eyes. He slowly approaches your face, his lips getting extremely close. Thinking he wanted to kiss you, you quickly closed your eyes, but all he did was move closer to your ear, feeling how his full lips touch your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "Im sorry, i didn't want to scare you, i just wanted to say that this night were having a date with Park's Company". There is no way that he did all of that just to say this to you, right? Or maybe it was just in your mind. The thing is that he wanted to do this. He had been planning this for a long time, he just didn't know when, and the right moment was right now. There is no business meeting. Yes, Mr. Park will come, but he will find the right moment to tell him to leave so that you two will be alone. It was too obvious that you liked him, he saw how you were arranging yourself, how you were trying to get his attention, but he was waiting for you to make the first move, but you didn't really succeed. "I want you to get ready at 9 pm, and I will come in front of your apartment to take you". You couldn't speak, in fact how could you speak when this wonderful man was standing in front of you.

Time passed very quickly. You put on the most beautiful dress you had in your dresser. A mini black dress that fit perfectly on your body. While you were looking in the mirror and putting a cute accessory in your hair, a sound could be heard from outside. It was none other than San. The fact that you were looking out the window, how he was sitting in the car. One hand on the steering wheel, waiting for you, while looking at the watch on his left hand, turns your legs into jelly. You gulped and looked at how he was dressed. The same white shirt, only 3 buttons were undone, exposing his neck. The leather pants that looked so good on him, his thighs... You were already staring at him too much, so you took your bags and left. Outside, when you walked out the door, he was there waiting for you. He got out of the car approaching you. Now it really looks too good. You could see how his muscles tensed through that shirt. How much you wanted to rip that shirt off, but of course you cant do that. While you were dreaming of all the scenarios that can cross your mind, San gets extremely close to you. His perfume brings you back to reality knowing that he is here, and you are just thinking about the things he could do to you. "Hi", just a simple hi and you couldn't even speak. "Let's go hm?", he waited for your answer a couple of seconds, because you were too stunned to speak. "Uhm.. y-yes", he opens the door for you, and you try to cover your dress a little because it was quite short. When he got into the car, he noticed that you were struggling to put on your seat belt, so he bent down a little, making eye contact, trying to put it on. After that, he realized what you were wearing. Looking at you from top to bottom, licking his lips. "You look so beautiful tonight, Y/n", You didn't say anything, you just blushed and smiled looking at him.

The car ride was quiet, but after one hour in traffic, you arrived at a restaurant. You got out of the car and you already noticed that the restaurant was not an ordinary one like all the others. It was an extremely expensive one, where you couldn't even afford to eat there, but yeah Choi San was rich. He startled you by putting his hand on your shoulder. You quickly turned around and lost your balance making San grab your waist, looking into your eyes. " Oop- are you okay?" ,you nodded and he helped you . "Shall we go?", he took your hand giving you goosebumps. "Yes", you shyly responded and went inside the restaurant. There he was, Mr Park sitting in front of us. He was extremely gorgeous, but not your type. You bet that every girl were trying to get his attention. " Woah i didnt know you will bring this beautiful girl here". San was angry, he didn't know he would act like this, he was trying to hold back from saying something, but apparently Mr. Park wanted to flirt with you. " So whats your name, pretty girl?" ,after he said that, his hand landed on your leg making you flinch, buy you decided to play too. Making San jealous can't go wrong, right?

One hour passed and the meeting already led to something else. You forgot that San was next to you, looking jealous at the two of you. It was almost 11pm and you already started getting ready to leave. San was looking at you, at the movements you were making. How you bent down to adjust your shoes a little seeing your cleavage, but still he didn't find the right moment to do the things he wanted to do. The time has already passed and he had to take you home. Apparently, Mr. Park tricked him. He drove you home, and when you got to bed you thought about what happened today. You can even focus on that power point project he gave you, all of this because of him. You needed him and for sure he needed you too.

The next day you woke up with a headache. Last night you had a dream. You couldn't get out of your mind the position your boss fucked you on his office desk. The way his hands covered your boobs, from time to time leaning down and kissing each one. He was driving you crazy. Not in the dream, but in real life too. You put on your favorite shirt and your mini skirt, underneath you had black panties, just the way you thought he liked them, and a pair of sexy tights. You applied a little make-up, took your bag and left for the company. When you got out of the elevator, you wondered if San had some free time to talk to him, because he always had meeting and he is very busy. You saw Jongho passing by and you went towards him. "Hello Jongho, is Mr Choi in his office?", he answered seeing that you had some files in your hand, thinking that you have to show them to him. "Yes, he just came", "Okay, thanks!".

There you were, in front of his office. You could smell his perfume and he itsn't not even near you. Before opening the door, you undid 2 buttons on your shirt to warm the atmosphere a little. You knocked and opened the door. Just as you expected, Mr Choi was wearing your favorite suit, his hair was neatly arranged looking at the laptop screen, but your presence makes him change his gaze towards you. He looked at you from top to bottom, carefully analyzing the skirt you were wearing. He knew he was something off. " What brings you here, miss Y/n?", the way he pronounced your name made your legs like jelly. "I wanted to talk about the project you gave me..", he looked at you for one more time and motioned for you to come and sit on the chair next to him. "Hm.. let's see what we have here....wait where is that file?, one file was missing and he tries to search it everywhere. Then you saw the file on the floor " Found it!", you said bending under the desk and showing San what is hidden in your cleavage. "Here.", you passed him the file. "What are you doing?" ,he frowned getting up from the chair, you quickly got up too, looking at him with confusion. But actually your plan was going like you wanted. "Nothing", he raises an eyebrow, trying to hide his interest but failing. "What's with the new look?, he smirks. " You are really coming out of your shell lately, aren't you?, he winks at you. "Huh what do you mean?", he grins, moving closer to you and wrapping his arms around your waist. "I mean, i love it, you look so confident and sexy, it drives me crazy.", he whispered in your ear, planting soft kisses down your neck."Tell me love, what is on your mind", his hot breath sending shivers down your spine." You, only you...". San leans down and starts kissing and sucking your neck, leaving love bites. "San...", you moaned putting your tiny hands on his waist, then your hands went lower to his belt, but he stops you smirking at you. "Nah, not now, im not done with you.", he puts his hands between your legs, discovering the black panties that you picked for him, then sits you on the desk, exploring every part of your body with his hands. "I love it when you surprise me, princess". You couldn't do anything, San was fingering you so bad that you wanted to come on his fingers. He sits you up and looks at you. "Bend over", you immediately obey and bend over the desk feeling hands wrap around your hips, pulling you closer to him. He starts to move slowly at first but quickly loses control, unable to hold back his desire for you. He kisses you passionately as he thrusts into you deep and fast, driving both of you closer to the edge. With each thrust, your moans became louder and he can feel himself losing control. He moves his hand to your clit, circling it with his wet fingers to add you pleasure. San couldn't hold back any longer and with a final thrust, he releases himself with a loud moan, watching you moan as well, both of you panting and holding onto each other tightly. He looks down at you with a loving expression and brushes a strand of hair away from your face." I love you so much...", you smiled at him feeling tired. Concern fills San's eyes as he cups your face and kisses your forehead gently. "Aww, my poor baby, you must be exhausted." he wraps his arms around you and try to clean you up .He puts you on the sofa lying down next to you. "Rest now, love. I'll be right here beside you, and no one will disturb us."

[garbbitch]

i have so many thoughts about this so i apologize if this is scattered.

i saw this originally on TORRES’ story yesterday and it honestly made me sick. this disheartening. and something about the way people have been reacting to julien’s new upcoming project as opposed to how they’re reacting to lucy’s is making my heart hurt

like, idk, they’re both essentially at the same level of fame since they were both in boygenius, and yet lucy is getting article after article and interviews upon interviews about her and julien’s press has been relatively quiet beyond the one podcast and the one magazine. while lucy is doing radio, she is getting written about in multiple articles, her music was used for a fashion show. idk, i just feel like people are reacting so differently to each of them and it’s frustrating.

like people like to act like julien is less talented or something when she’s not! i’d even argue more talented but that’s a whole other conversation.

it’s like when the whole summer boygenius was touring everyone only ever talked about phoebe. idk, it rubs me the wrong way.

connected but unrelated thought,

people’s reactions to lucy’s video yesterday also piss me off quite a bit

like, i keep seeing a lot of the same arguments, some that i agree with and some that i dont.

for one, complaining about a lack of representation. ie, they’re all skinny, they’re all white etc.

to that i think there were a couple of reasons. one, she was looking at the submissions for the video the day of the tiktok ban. now i don’t know how it all went down but i’m assuming she probably wanted to reach out to more people but had trouble.

also! as much as i love boygenius and their solo stuff as poc, i’m aware that most of their fans are not poc. those concerts are white asf and that’s fine. but she can’t pull poc out of her ass. she was casting from her fan base. if it’s mostly white, that’s what you’re gonna get in the video.

and another complaint i saw a lot was that it was mostly people who were her friends or were influencers. ie, mattie, naomi, elio idk how to spell his name. and again, i think this was just cause of the tiktok ban, she probably saw mostly people who got the most views in that short window of time she was looking.

another thing i saw was that these people weren’t masc enough or butch enough. and to that i say, shut your mouth. these are real people. you can be frustrated with the way the casting ended up happening and you can recognize that it wasn’t a full view of the whole spectrum of mascs/ butches in the community but attacking the individual people she put in the video is wrong.

i also saw some people complaining that she had elio in the vid and hes a trans man. if he calls himself masc and he auditioned and she casted him that is between them, not us and them. being masc isn’t inherently lesbian. being butch is. if he called himself butch that would be a different story but he didnt.

i also saw people complaining about cara being in it. i personally don’t care for her, but who cares…? she may not be masc presenting in her public appearances but we don’t know her. so get over it…

i also saw people that it was only influencers and her friends in the vid… i get this one, but again. i blame the tiktok ban. we in america thought it was going to be gone gone for a while leading up and a good chunk of time as it was banned. yes that wasn’t the case but i do think she just picked people with the most views, ie, the influencers. i do wish she would’ve been upfront that it’s gonna be a bunch of her friends but whatever. (sorry if i’m repeating myself i have a lot of thoughts.)

i also keep seeing people in the community being rude to lucy and saying she’s just an annoying bisexual. she’s not bi i dont think. and she is quite publicly unlabeled or pan. you can recognize the very white view she has of the community and recognize that she could’ve been more diverse without mislabeling her or bringing up her label at all.

and idk, it’s also so baffling to me that both of these people are getting attacked for just existing but like, julien is dealing with real homophobia and lucy is dealing with very chronically online biphobic assholes. it just baffles me how no one is talking about the real and scary homophobia that julien is experiencing but i swear i’m seeing everyone and their mom jump to attack or defend lucy.

and another thing. i think the general lack of public support for julien is because she’s masc, everyone wants a masc or a butch until you actually have protect them. idk

i’m thinking to much and if none of this made sense i’m sorry.

[saguette]

What do you think Johnny's art looked like before he was stripped of his powers? This is something that bugs me a lot, and I'm curious about what you think.

ok i needed to draw a few shitty pictures to demonstrate cuz i wanted to talk about more than just his previous art but his art journey in general IDC if there's some canon tweet that proves something i said wrong or out of timeline these are my headcanons and projections so you either like it or not.. anyways I think his style pre-pre-JTHM (lets say 15-18) depicted many things, He was good at realism and fluctuated just fine between stylized art and big hefty works with a lot of detail. His stylized works looking similar to Jhonens and the whole 2000's artstyle cuz its fitting.

Of course he's like, a late teenager around this time so its GOOD but not perfect. If you pulled up a few of his drawings from this time he would probably be embarrassed by all the disproportionate limbs and goth girls he sketched and thought were badass. He probably has old sketches of friends in his style regardless if they asked to be drawn or not since his art was something he was proud of and people around him made him feel proud of. His old art also feels like it'd have anime elements unintentionally to add to that amateur artist swag. Johnny doesn't like anime copies but stuff he rips inspo from was anime inspired so it rubbed off on his work too. Moving onto PRE-JTHM (18-20) Is when his art started to get more serious and complex. In his happy era he took to drawing lovecraftian horror sometimes but it was always the secondary focus of any drawing.

Moving out and growing up was around the time his mental state started to worsen and he started using art to cope with emotions rather than just use it for fun, drawing complex monsters was a subconscious way to depict underlying mental illness that's out of his hands. He cant depict what he doesn't know he has, he can only scribble things that feel someone close to him because there is no physical appearance to emotions. He never liked his art around this time because it always felt unfinished or wrong or like it just didn't interpret what he wanted right. Overtime his art lost coherent appearance, quality, and meaning which made it feel worthless. It wouldn't be all that bad but it reached a point not even he knew what it was trying to be and it was frustrating. How can your own art not make sense to you? Its weird to let your hands go and do their own and you not recognize what they're trying to say. Which leads to SHORTLY BEFORE JTHM-and later.. Johnnys NEW preferred method for art currently is a little abstract, it became two extremes of the same thing; nothing. his art lost alot of what it used to be so he says he cant draw anymore.

Johnnys lovecraftian horror art slowly engulfed itself over time and always becomes an abstract mess. Its purposely made to be incomprehensible by having too much, regardless if its creation is poetic, an outside view not being able to tell what it is or how much work went into it is on purpose. its metaphorical or whatever.. Johnnys fucked up or something.. Whereas Noodleboy i imagine was made by him drawing a stickfigure one day to see if he can still "draw" and overtime gave him his features like angry eyes and that big hair, creating his own sort of vent sona to replace the sketchy abstract art he used before. Noodleboys chaoticness is too sporadic to rip any meaning off of, he also purposely represents nothing. His existence uses up paper the same way, just without all the extra effort. SORRRYYYY long tangent thats probably super messy i just winged it. but i cant help myself ive thought about this for a while ik i didnt strictly answer the question but i had so much more to say

[somewhereincairparavel]

Ok, but like I feel like I've never dove in how Jason was probably the youngest in the legion. Probably for a very, very long time. And imagine how it felt to watch as kids played in new Rome, and eventually joined you. And you could never join them as they played in new rome. Imagine all of the kids you know are older than you, and you can't make friends. Imagine having to lead quests of people way older than you that resent you for it because of your parentage. Imagine how happy he was when people his age finally started joining, and I wishing he could he them? Imagine basically being raised by a bunch of teenagers, many of whom dislike you? Would love to hear ur thoughts

honestly, i imagine all of the older members of the legion whispering behind Jason's back about how easy he has it in camp jupiter bc of his dad, about how he isnt "qualified" enough to lead missions, and how he has everything "handed" to him. i feel like he had a LOT to prove and only when his missions started getting successful, people actually accept that he is capable, but even then envious members of the cohort would say that he got lucky or only succeeded bc of jupiter's blessings or smth. could you imagine a baby jason going to the older members of the legion for advice and they just coolly shrug him off? i feel like in a realistic standpoint, they arent outright mean to him bc they are terrified of jupiter's anger but they arent friendly either.

They just let him sit in a corner. i feel like at some point, even when people his age start coming in, he still wouldnt feel loved, because they all would think jason is too scary or intimidating and would avoid him out of fear, also bc he doesnt understand their jokes bc he was brought up too serious. so he would be an outcast. he would be an outcast but not necessarily in a bad way, but like "he's too good for us" type of way which actually hurts jason way more. like when he comes in they all would give him a small bow or something and it gets on his NERVES.

overall i feel like there is too much jealousy surrounding him for him to have any comfortable conversation with people, especially because he is their "leader" even if he was a praetor very late, people still subconsciously saw him as one, even the old praetors consulted him before they came to a decision.

i feel like the moment people even remotely saw him as a human with feelings is when he joined the least reputed legion simply to popularize it. i feel like that was HIS moment where ppl were like "yep this guy is actually a living person with empathy!" but it reverted back to ppl seeing him as an unapproachable artifact

which is why im so upset that frank and hazel didnt have a closer relationship with him, i mean we did see jason and frank talking together on the deck of argo 2 after jason transferred his praetorship to frank, probably filling him in his position, but i wish their relationship ascended beyond just a mentor and his apprentice. because that concept with jason's character gets so old. literally everyone saw him as an advisor and leader that they could learn from, but who really saw something beyond that about him? only leo, nico, reyna, piper and percy tbh.

and in the end, reyna had a subtle fallout with him so they didnt talk, piper broke up with him so they were awkward and tense, leo "died" and never saw him again, the last time nico saw jason was probably during the strawberry field scene when nico told him he's staying at camp, and jason got too busy with his temple project to see anyone else. he was working to keep his promise till the very end, just like a true roman. honestly thanks to you i might actually expand on this in a separate post and tag you in it :)