#AND I THINK?? SOMEONE KILLED HIN??? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ist4rgirlo · 1 year ago

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──────── 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐜.𝐟

ONE SHOT !

what else can you do when you see the love of your life looking at someone else like how you look at him?

SEQUEL : invisible string

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There it was again, that pain in my heart. That pain that I’ve been constantly feeling whenever I would look at Conrad and Belly. He had this smile, this smile that only comes out for Belly. What was so special about her? what was so special about her that I don’t have?

Where did it start? when did things start to fall apart? it started with him acting so different — ever since Belly came here last summer, his world started to revolve around her. It was like I wasn’t here at all.

Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

There were times where I would be alone in my room, thinking if I’ve done enough. If I was worth it, If I deserve Conrad. I felt insecure — Belly was beautiful, I admit that — she’s always been beautiful.

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

He failed to see the signs, he failed to see how hurt I was. How it pains me everytime he would say the words “i love you” because it never sounded sincere anymore.

He would act like nothing happened, completely ignoring me. He doesn’t even notice that when we’re talking, all he talks about is Belly. He never saw the glint in my eyes, he ignored my cries, my cries for him.

Stop, you're losin' me

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

For you

'Cause you're losin' me

I never wanted to lose him, it would kill me if I did. I never saw myself not loving him anymore. He is my dream, the love of my life — well was. It was exhausting, tiring — now he’s slowly losing me.

I walked towards Belly and Conrad — “Excuse me” I asked softly, looking at the both of them.

“Hey, y/n” Belly smiled at me, I looked at Conrad — he was barely taking his eyes away from Belly, mesmerized by her smile.

“Uh.. can I talk to Conrad?” I asked, looking down. My hands were shaking, tears started to form in my eyes. I hated this, I shouldn’t have walked towards them.

Conrad looked at me before saying bye to Belly, he pulled me to the side — raising his brows at me, tilting his head — waiting for me to talk.

He looked different, he acted different — the man infront of me looks nothing like the man I fell inlove with. I looked at hin in the eyes, seeing no emotions in it — my heart shattered.

“I-Is something wrong between us?”

“Wrong? I don’t understand you” He sounded genuinely confused, it was ridiculous. I should’ve just stopped there, at this point I am the one hurting myself.

“I know you don’t”

I chuckled, looking down. “Y/n if you’re going to waste my time then just do it another time” he said — running a hand through his hair — stealing a glance at Belly.

I scoffed, he looked at me — his brows furrowed “What?”.

“Oh nothing, I just think that you can’t take your eyes off her. I mean I can’t really blame you”

“What are you talking about?!” Conrad’s voice started to raise a little.

“I’m not stupid, Conrad. I can see it, you don’t have to lie to me. You’re falling for her, are you?” — “Conrad” it felt wrong, it didn’t feel right at all — calling him by his name — it felt like we were strangers. He was just silent — looking away.

Why can’t he say anything? why is he so quiet? why is he not denying it? why isn’t he choosing me?

“Do something, babe, say something" (say something)

"Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me)

He bit his lip before saying “Y/n, I’m sorry” he tried to reach for my hand — his face filled with guilt. I bit my lip as I fought back a sob — pulling my hand away from him, walking away from him.

My heary dropped, my stomach churned. I regret it, god why am I so stupid? I couldn’t breathe, my heart broke in so many pieces. What happened to us? where did I go wrong?

I gave him all my best me's, my endless empathy.

I shook my head no, “No, i’m sorry for being so fucking stupid. I should’ve never let it last this long, we shouldn’t have happened. I knew that there was always a spot for her in your heart, I should’ve just stayed away” that wasn’t true, I don’t know why I said that.

Conrad looked at me, walking towards me grabbing my hand “No.. no y-you don’t mean that. Please, y-you don’t know what you’re saying.” he stuttered, shaking his head no — hurt from what I just said, he knew it was true, he tried to deny it but he can’t.

All I wanted was for him to notice me, for him to love me like how much I love him. No one told me how exhausting it was to chase someone who won’t give you back what you gaveto them.

Choose something, babe, I got nothing (got nothing)

To believe

Unless you're choosin' me"

“I-I’ll just go, I’m sorry for ruining this party. I’m so so sorry, Susannah” I said before putting a hand over my mouth — pulling away from him, turning around.

“Darling please“ Susannah said standing up from her seat, I looked at her, shaking my head no.

“Do something, Connie!” Jeremiah panicked — yelling at Conrad — he was about to run towards me but he was too late, I was already out of the door.

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

I looked back — seeing Conrad hugging Belly through the window. I ran towards my car and went inside — I sobbed as I drove off — didn’t dare to even look back. That was my que to leave because he already chose, and he didn’t choose me.

I know my pain is such an imposition

Now, you're runnin' down the hallway

And you know what they all say

You don't know what you got until it's gone

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here you go anon !! this totally broke my heart — i hope you enjoy <3

#conrad fisher #tsitp #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher angst #conrad fisher fanfic #conrad fisher fic #conrad fisher x reader #the summer i turned pretty #abtconrad fics #Spotify #conrad fisher x y/n #tsitp imagine

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katerinaaqu · 5 months ago

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Why didn't Odysseus's crew stage a mutiny against him in the Odyssey? (An analysis based on Homer's Odyssey)

It has been a while since the last time I did some Odyssey Analysis and here is an interesting question that goes on in this. A very valid question actually.

During the arduous trip in the Odyssey, the Cephallinians suffered greater loss than anything they suffered at the 10 year war at Troy. They lost almost all ships and all men were dying. They were reduced to a ship of a crew with less than 40 people and they didn't seem to get much hope. So of course one could ask; what was holding them back and didn't fight back against Odysseus apart from the indirect mutiny they did when he turned his eyes away from him to pray? Why their only mutiny was to disobey his orders and slay the cattle of Helios Hyperion? Surely more than 30 men could do plenty of damage to one man right? Why didn't they? And why is it important for the story?

So while thinking about it I came down with some possible explanations as to why that happened;

Odysseus was beloved to the gods

Regardless of their terrible situations, Odysseus probably still had the fame of someone beloved to the gods. He used to be directly communicating with Athena and was under her protection. Despite the fact that he was cursed by a god, there could be some sort of a thought running to their minds; what if we harm him and the gods strike us for it? What if there will be consequences for directly wishing harm to one who was blessed to be appreciated by gods? It could possibly be a risk that they didn't want to take. And it makes sense given how much Odysseus interracted even with minor gods during the trip (for example Aeolus or Circe). Quite frankly they might as well have wished that at some point Odysseus would appeal to yet another god for help.

Odysseus was beloved to his subjects

If you look at my other analysis here You can remember how beloved leader Odysseus was even to subjects such as slaves who in theory would have no real reason to be loyal to him. Odysseus seemed always to be a just and beloved leader and his men on the ship were not an exception. Regardless of whether they had lost faith hin him in his capability to bring him home or if they doubted his judgement, they couldn't get past the emotional connection; Odysseus had protected them during the war to the point of suffering the least possible losses, during the trip he was going to extreme measures to protect them (even the cruel misadventure in which Odysseus cut the rope from his ship to save the last ship from the Laestrygonians might as well have spoken volumes to the men that were saved). It would be hard for them to completely ignore that even in the face of mistrust. Somehow it would also be them thinking that they "owe him" till that part.

Odysseus was hiding stuff from them that could be important

Ironically the very source of their mistrust was protecting Odysseus. Odysseus didn't share with them the nature of the sack of Aeolus even if he seemed pretty clear that they couldn't touch it (and that led to their first tragedies). Later he hid the information that they would have to go through the Sirens till the very last moment where he warned them about it. Later he hid completely the information that they would go through Skylla and Charybdis. His men could think "How many more things did this man know on their way home and hid it from them?" if they captured or killed him in a mutiny how were they sure there weren't more dangers ahead that Odysseus was hiding from them and could either be informed the last moment or not at all? What guarantee did they have that Odysseus didn't know even MORE about their course? They had none. So ironically the very reason they began to mistrust him in the first place became the reason Odysseus was safe from their rage.

No one wanted to take responsibility at time of crisis!

Last and definitely not least comes for me the most important reason of all at least story-wise that shows how excellent writer Homer is into writing human nature. His men didn't stage a mutiny because no matter how displeased they were with his decisions, literally NO ONE wants to have the same responsibility to take decisions in time of crisis! Honestly, how many times do common folk feel themselves find a scapegoat usually to the face of their leaders when things go south? (and for good reason that is given that they are the ones with the responsibility to take decisions). When something goes wrong we blame the leader, the government or someone that has come forth and not only takes the decisions but also is responsible for the blame as well.

During their arduous trip Odysseus took some of the most painful decisions they could imagine in order to save what he could; he advised them to leave the Cicones and they didn't which led to their first tragedy; he tried to correct his mistake by appeasing the god Aeolus, he took the decision to sacrifice his ships in order to save the one he could knowing full well that they would never be able to fight against the Laestrygonians. He knew the 11 ships were lost cause so he acted fast cutting the ropes of his own ship and sailing away, making sure to save what he could even if that meant to the terrible loss. He traveled to the underworld even though he was alive, he chose Skylla over Charybdis knowing that the sacrifice would be too great but still not as great as to lose them all.

Regardless of their emotions at that moment; they put themselves in his shoes and realize that none of them would take the burden of leadership and take those decisions for them. Odysseus with his nerves of steel managed to save them so far even if they had so many losses and undoubtedly they realized that in his shoes they would never be able to act so efficiently and so fast. And knowing their own reactions against him; blaming him for the losses, they realize that none of them would have the guts to take not only the painful decisions but also the blame and hate that follows them. Odysseus was lifting on his shoulder as much hate and anger as very few others; not only his previous experiences at war and his actions but now his decisions of the trip. I have no doubt that even in their anger the men admired how he could carry it all.

Conlcusions:

Homer is a master of words and plot. I have no doubt that if he thought it served the plot he would have mentioned his men staging a full on mutiny against Odysseus or in one way I am almost certain he thought of the possibility being quite doable given as I said above that Odysseys was one man and the others were over 30. However knowing how great he is in protraying human emotions to his writing I think his choice of plot was deliberate.

Not only was Odysseus someone that could erupt not only controversy but also superstition given his close relationship with gods before, his leadership was always admirable regardless of the results (knowing his prudent nature and how plenty of his orders that were disobeyed ended up in a tragedy and let's face it Odysseus was also a brilliant fighter. I doubt anyone would easily take the first step to fight him one on one either!) and above all he was one of the best when it came on taking some really difficult decisions, carrying on his back not only the personal guilt he felt while taking them but also the anger of others and their retalliation. And in an amazingly human writing Homer speaks on times of crisis. When people do not wish to take responsibility at times of Crisis because they know full well that their decisions rarely ever would be painless!

Therefore they couldn't retalliate against him; they didn't want the responsibility of leadership or the blame for the losses. They didn't want to stand against authority directly either. So they took the indirect mutiny decision; when authority is not present they disobey or they break their will when the force of authority.

Could we perhaps one more time appeal to the usual theory of "unreliable storyteller" and speak on how Odysseus doesn't want to mention a mutiny in his story to Phaeakes because he doesn't want to appear as weak leader in their eyes?

We could but in my opinion this doesn't seem likely. Odysseus is already humiliated; shipwrecked and a beggar in their house. He mentioned how it was ellegedly his fault that the whole domino of reactions began when he mentions how he was yelling to Polyphemus being blasphemus that not even Poseidon could put him back together if he had killed him (which let's face it is too much given that gods had no probelm resurrecting some dead before). He had already mentioned his men not listening to him and disobedience was already a heavy thing. He didn't hide most of the unpleasant experiences during the trip so why miss the opportunity of shifting the blame to his men, saying that they stage a mutiny against him thus himself being unable to react instead of stating that he fell asleep during the prayer? To show that his men fear him so they do not dare to face him? Perhaps but it seems unlikely given the whole story in which Odysseus doesn't hide his bad sides from them.

What do you guys think? Let me know to your comments and reblogs below! ^_^

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hotdaemondtargaryen · 6 months ago

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EWAN MITCHELL TALKING ABOUT AEMOND TARGARYEN IN EPISODE 3 FOR VULTURE MAGAZINE.

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE EXACT WORDING, BUT I REMEMBER SEEING SOMEONE POST A GIF OF PRINCE AEMOND'S SAPPHIRE-EYEBALL REVEAL AND SAYING, ‘THIS IS THE MOST ANIME-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER WHO HAS EVER APPEARED ON A LIVE-ACTION TELEVISION SHOW.’ THERE'S AN OTHERWORDLY AIR TO HIM.

“So much of the work is done through the costume and the long hair and the eyepatch — because of the talents of makeup designer Amanda Knight and our costume designer, Caroline McCall.”

“By taking one look, you can make a rough assumption that he’s probably going to be the bad guy.”

“But for me, bringing that otherworldly texture to Aemond, I never watched Game of Thrones, because I wanted to present something fresh.”

“I drew on other aspects of pop culture, with ’80s horror icons like Michael Myers: a character who walks so slow but always catches up to Jamie Lee Curtis.”

“Aemond hijacks the show and turns it into a horror sequence in the skies above Storm’s End at the end of episode ten of season one.”

“It’s this idea of inevitability, something more like an energy as opposed to an actual human being.”

“That’s the image Aemond wants to co-opt, that he’s godlike. He operates on a different plane.”

“It comes from that cold exterior he’s cultivated over the years, down to the sapphire stone in his eye socket. You don’t know what is going on behind his eye.”

THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING VERY "FINAL FANTASY VILLAIN" ABOUT HIM: ELEGANT BUT FIGHTENING.

“You don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“People who sit back and smile, don’t say much — they’re the people whose brains you want to pick, but at the same time, you don’t know where you stand.”

MY FAVORITE AEMOND MOMENTS ARE WHEN YOU DO GLIMPSE HOW HE FEELS. IN THAT CHASE SEQUENCE ABOVE STORM'S END, AEMOND IS REALLY UPSET WHEN HIS DRAGON KILLS LUCERYS VELARYON. IN THIS SEASON, HE TALKS TO THE SEX WORKER HE'S BEEN SEING ABOUT HOW IT GOT TO HIM.

“I agree. Between episodes seven and eight of season one, he’s manufactured himself into a weapon.”

“He possesses this code that stops him from ever being hurt again, like he was as a kid.”

“He has to be seen as this bulletproof, untouchable, ethereal presence no one can grasp.”

HE BRINGS UP HIS CHILDHOOD IN THE BROTHEL, TOO — HOW HIS BROTHER AND HIS YOUNG UNCLES USED TO PICK ON HIN FOR BEING DIFFERENT. IS ALL THAT IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND EVEN WHEN YOU'RE DOING THE COOL, SAPPHIRE-EYE STUFF?

“Yeah. It’s partly down to seeing the young Aemond actor, Leo Ashton, in episodes six and seven of season one: the boy underneath the veneer.”

“This kid was bullied day in and day out for not having a dragon egg like the rest of the kids in the family. He recognized very early on that he was going to have to go out and get what he wanted.”

“I always carried that around with me in season two.”

“So he ended up claiming the largest, baddest, oldest dragon in the known world in Vhagar. She’s so enormous, she can’t fit within the confines of any castle wall. Aemond is able to identify with that.”

HOW SO? THE BULLYING DIDN'T MAKE HIM FEEL SMALLER?

“It’s the story of the underdog. I have this theory that it’s not so much the person who claims the dragon, it’s the dragon who claims the person as well.”

“I don’t believe Vhagar is someone you just stumble upon.”

“Although Aemond had to seek her out, she must have seen something in him that he himself hadn’t seen yet.”

“Aemond’s the kid who held on. When he realized he wouldn’t get a dragon egg like the rest of the kids, he held on.”

“When he was bullied for being different, for not having a dragon of his own, he held on. And when Vhagar took off over the beaches of Driftmark in episode seven, he held on tighter than he’d ever done before.”

“I don’t know if any of the other characters would have held on as strongly, because they were gifted dragons when they were kids.”

“It’s a tremendous feat of courage to approach Vhagar.”

“That’s one of Aemond’s redeeming qualities: He possesses a drive.”

“Maybe that kid is still underneath that manufactured exterior.”

I WAS HONESTLY SURPRISED TO FIND AEGON AND HIS BUDDIES STILL BULLYING AEMOND DURING THE BROTHEL SCENE IN THIS EPISODE. HISTORICALLY, BULLYING AEMOND HAS NOT WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR PEOPLE.

“Aegon catches Aemond in a vulnerable spot.”

“Picking up the script for the first time and seeing those brothel scenes in episode two and three, I saw a brilliant opportunity to offer a rare glimpse of his vulnerability.”

“You only ever see him in his Targaryen blacks, so to see him in that world — not only that, but then humiliated by his brother — is quite shocking.”

WHEN HE GETS UP AND WALKS OUT WITHOUT BOTHERING TO DRESS FIRST, SO SURE OF HIMSELF EVEN IN THE FACE OF THAT HUMILIATION, HE SEEMS SCARIER TO ME THAN WHEN HE'S RIDING ON VHAGAR.

I love that line from Michael Mann’s Heat, when Bob De Niro’s character says, “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.”

“That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino.”

“Aemond has a similar code that stops him from being hurt like he was as a kid.”

“That’s why he’s able to walk out on the madam in that scene.”

“He’s humiliated by his brother and all his crew, and it’s like this switch flips. The madam is no more.”

“All of these people in front of him? They mean nothing. He stands up, he owns it — Yeah, I’m bulletproof. Anything you say, it will not work. Like you say, it’s scary.”

A LOT OF COMPARISIONS ARE MADE BETWEEN AEMOND AND DAEMON, BUT THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE: DAEMON GETS INTENSELY ATTACHED, WHETHER TO HIS LATE BROTHER KING VISERYS OR TO HIS NIECE AND WIFE QUEEN RHAENYRA. WE'RE SEEN HIM LEAVE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS, BUT HE STORMS OUT, HE DOESN'T GLIDE OUT. THAT'S AEMOND.

“One hundred percent. You rarely see him lose his cool.”

“As soon as you start raising your voice and shouting, you lose the power.”

“It’s not to say Aemond isn’t as angry as everyone else behind the smile. He probably is. But he’s able to keep a lid on it and channel it in different ways.”

IT'S ALSO A NUDE SCENE, AND I HAVE A FEELING YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET A REACTION AT A VOLUME FEW PEOPLE ON THIS SHOW HAVE SEEN BEFORE. DID YOU HAVE THAT IN MIND WHILE SHOOTING IT?

Mitchell says that the dragon-rider’s display, a topic of much discussion between himself and the creative team prior to filming, was a move ‘encoded in Aemond’s DNA’ — a shock tactic designed to demonstrate that this once-bullied boy will never allow himself to be chastened again.

“Scenes like this start with a conversation about how far you’re prepared to go. It wasn’t a choice we made lightly.”

“But it’s true to Aemond that he shocks the audience.”

“Weakness is not part of Aemond’s vocabulary.”

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd s2 #tv shows #team green #prince aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #hotd s2 spoilers #vulture magazine #interview #aegond #aegon x aemond #daemond #daemon x aemond #brothel scene #ewan mitchell the actor that you are #vhagar

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quitealotofsodapop · 5 months ago

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One of the firsr times MK actually sees Luzhen acting serious and maturely is during the New Years fiasco. When Wukong got captured by the Spider Queen, Luzhen has wanted to go to him immediately but Wukong had mad him swear to make sure MK and his friends are safe first so he ended up with the team that went to the Celestial Realm, this ended up being a benefit because that means they had someone familiar with he place.

He and MK ended up pairing up to get the Furnace, but they both ended up trapped inside. While they were there, Luzhen had a lot of memories and regrets from long ago pop up, being in the same device that was once used to torture and nearly kill his older brother. The Furnace that took Wukong away from him. And MK notices this during his own self-deprication episode.

MK, feeling bad for himself: This is all my fault, why did I ever think I could ever do this!? I can't ever live up to the Monkey King!

Luzhen, quietly and turned away from MK: Yeah, I know the feeling, kid.

MK, realizing for the first time he wasn't ghe only one trapped: Huh? Luzhen!?

Luzhen: Yeah. I'm stuck here too, kid.

MK: Oh great, not am i useless. but I got the Monkey King's brother trapped there too!

Luzhen: Kid, it's not like that. I'm in here... because I jumped in on my own. Same as you.

MK: You... jumped in on your own? Why!?

Luzhen: Aw, c'mon kid, you know the story don't you? How did Dage get his Eyes of Truth?

MK: The gods put him here, in an effort to burn the immortality elixir out of him... right? Only instead of killing him he got gold vision.

Luzhen, nodding: For nearly fifty celestial days and night my brother anguished in here, burning alive from the heat of a primordial flame... all because I made a mistake that he took the fall for.

MK, suddenly realizing: Oh...

Luzhen, quietly, eyes dtill fixated on the corner wall: Wukong... I owe hin so much. He's my older brother, he always took care of me... protected me. I knew he was special, even moreso than me, and I swore I would repay him his kindness and care one day by making sure everyone knew thay. I hadn't meant to hurt anyone but... Wukong was so shy and timid back then, still is in some ways. So when he learned the truth about how much of an insult the position of Biwamen actually was and was going to just... let it go... I snapped.

MK: Are you saying you're the one who... caused the Havoc?

Luzhen: No. I caused the events that led to the Havoc. I'm the one who threatened the dragon gods and removed my brother's name from the Book of the Dead, I'm the one to let all the horses loose and then declared for all to hear that Wukong was the Great Sage Equal to Heaven. Everything that happened after... *Luzhen shakes his head as he starts to get emotional* I owed my brother everything, but my stupid, reckless actions were what led to his downfall.

MK, worried about the implications: Luzhen... why did you jump in here?

Luzhen: ...I-I don't know... *huffs in hysterical amusement* I guess... I guess wanted to. No... I needed to know. What he went through in here, to try to get an idea of what I did to my brother. See what it was like for myself. The stories say that he survived because he his himself in this corner right here. *points to the side he was facing, where a very old imprint of scratch marks lay, as though something had been clawing at the walls* It's marked by the wind trigram and had less of the fire. That it was his cleverness that let him succeed... but I know my brother.

*Luzhen runs an hand along some of the faded scratches*

Luzhen: Wukong wanted to make sure he could come home... the only reason he survived was because he was determined to make it home to us... to me.

Luzhen may not have known it at the time but hearing his own thoughts on the Furnace and how Wukong had survived had inadvertently given MK the push he needed to find a way to get them both out. After all, if Wukong had survived being in here for that long to get back to his family, the least they could do was escape the damned thing and save him in return! Both MK and Luzhen have a silent pact not to bring up what happened in the Furnace or the conversation they had up, What Happened in the Furnace, Stayed in the Furnace.

YEE

Luzhen is such an interesting character to unpack in this au simply due to his role as the "dodged culprit" in the Havoc in Heaven. And he's never forgiven himself for it.

He's suffered the ultimate pain of being the younger brother who Wukong would do anything for. Nearly losing him.

A lot of MK's feelings of unworthiness are mirrored in Luzhen, who's lived his entire life as a mere shadow to his brother, not even believed to be a real person by many.

His big bro's successor is a good kid. Not like him. He shouldn't have to worry about this junk,

Though I love the idea that they spent the time in the Furnace hashing out emotional issue they have, and both agree that "Furnace-stays in the Furnace"

#twin suns au #lmk sun luzhen #sun luzhen #lmk mk #qi xiaotian #sun wukong #lmk aus #lmk #lego monkie kid

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rokirokiro · 1 year ago

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Love Declaration Imp♡ct

Wanderer. he goes by many names. Kabukimono, Kunikuzushi, Scaramouche the Balladeer, and the list goes on. but people certainly recognized him as your companion. how couldn't them? he's always there, watching over you. no matter the time and place, he'd just groan as he follows you from behind since Nahida told him to be more 'social', and the person had to be you. since you're the most bearable mortal in the whole Akademiya. smh.

♡!

I say he's the man with thousands of apparent emotions, yet he'd bring all that 'pathetic feelings' to his grave. he feels too much! which is also the root of his problems. and one of the people had to be you, for some reason. he'd KILL to erase this 'embarrassing' feelings, yet he can't. and it frustrates him on how much his nonexistent heart beats when you smile at him. on how his empty puppet body feels a tingling sensation of nervousness and warmth (as if he had any) when you invited him to do something. the fact that you recognized him, and be casual with him. it's so rare to see someone who's this positively unfazed with his presence, and this rarity makes him feel uncomfortable.

yes, love is so uncomfortable. he used to yearn for it, stays away from it, and now being chased by it. he's in absolute shambles from the very moment his Mother created him. his love life is disastrous even before he learns world.

Σ>―(OTW)♡→

he'd try his best to avoid love at first. to avoid you. to get rid of this haunting feelings that made his sleepless nights insufferable. like how he did in his Fatui era, when he was corrupted.

but he can't

he realized that he can't stand without you in front of him, guiding him to light. he's too used to see you that it felt so uncomfortable without you with him. the nother feeling without you feels even worse, as if his cold puppet body was impaled with a massive spear and left a huge hole in his chest. absence makes the hearts grow stronger, and the strange feeling is here to confirm.

it feels like the fourth betrayal, and he betrayed himself by pushing you away.

and of course, he's so egoistic over himself too. he'd convince himself that it's just a simple three words muttered to one another, nothing more, nothing less. he acted cool with it, when he's invisibly not.

he's scared

scared of rejection, scared of the aftermath. what if everything goes wrong? what if you were just being friendly to him? not that he have a full experience with having an actual friendship anyway, it's been centuries. other than Nahida, the Traveller and Paimon and the rest that he considered even lower than an acquaintance.... nah

he's hopeless.

but giving up never existed in his dictionary, never giving up in achieving new experiences as Kabukimono, never walked away from the experiments to become a god as Kunikuzushi, and he'd certainly never giving up in his feelings as Wanderer.

and so he spend months to think. yes, months.

he wanted to make the best surprise in the world, to show you how much of an awesome guy he is. to make your jaw dropped and face full of surprise. to make you his in an instant

and at last, he choose to go on the cliche route, choosing a place related heavily to the both of you since he just LOVE symbolism. he does, he told me just now.

◌⑅⃝ ♡⋆♡CONFESSION♡⋆♡ ⑅◌

he'd come to you at the end of your class, which is weird! you were always approaching hin first! and it had you rose your eyebrows slightly at his act

he'd propose that he wants to bring you somewhere nice after-school since 'college is suffocating him and wants to bring you to sniff on fresh air so you better be thankful' in this somewhere. and given the odds, you agreed

he made sure to hold your hand.

he offered his hand like how he offered you his affection.

and so the both of you walk out of the cultural building, every steps engraved in his history, it's all precious. every moment will forever be his favorite memory, or the most loathed one. because he too is imperfect, a 'plain and simple words of rejection' would shatter his artificial body completely.

"here we are" he said. and your eyes would be looking at the beautiful scenery on the hidden parts of Sumeru, the soft wind blowing your uniforms. while you were fascinated by the picture, he'd be mesmerized by you. the scenary is beautiful, but he's too busy looking at you

oh how beautiful you looked, your pupils dilated at the sight of nature, and the wind is being too good today to be an actor for your beautiful blowing hair/hijab. your soft skin, and those haunting smile leaving him sleepless at night...

you're utterly beautiful.

his artificial hand would tremble in your touch, the nervousness strikes at the best times before the climax. he hated himself about it, but he can't effort to pay less attention to you either

he then heard you saying that you remembered this place, of course you would. this place is your first time meeting him, getting each other's eyes interlocked with each other, not knowing what to come next

if he tell his past self that he'd fall on his knees for this person he's holding hands with, his past self would laugh at him.

"of course you would, me too" he said in a soft and low tone "I'll never forget the place that changed me forever"

"forever?"

"forever."

"how so?"

he paused, just taking you in for a moment before he began to open his mouth

"this is where I found my heart, one that I yearned for 500 years"

"oh?"

"and the heart-"

he's then brought your hands to your chest, feeling the heartbeats beneath the layers of flesh and bones

"-is here, right in front of me."

(｡’▽’｡)♡

he goes by many names ; Kabukimono, Kunikuzushi, Scaramouche the Balladeer and more and more.... .. but for now and forth, he'd forever be known as your lover

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader #wanderer #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #kabukimono #kunikuzushi #scara

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a-star-that-burns-brightly · 7 months ago

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david probably sees hu in him a lot. david thinks hu is easily manipulated because of her kindness, i think he’s projecting. as in he used to also genuinely love helping others and sticking out for people. that is, until he realised that his kindness doesnt pay and that people only take advantage of hin for it.

on that note, i think the same thing can apply to him and arei. arei is very cynical, she believes that if people dont take advantage of others, they will get taken advantage of in the end. during david’s mini break down in ep 10 (i think), he clearly pities arei for trying to befriend someone even though she’s someone with no experience with friendships at all. and he pities her for wanting to change. he definitely sees her in himself a lot. deep inside, he wishes he could change, but he stopped believing in himself a long tome ago

imo his ‘facade’ isnt 100% fake, there definitely some parts of him we see that show who he really is inside.

GODDDD you are so smart anon David is constantly projecting himself onto the people he grows close to, and I think in his four most major relationships so far (Xander, Teruko, Hu, and Arei) you can see a part of himself and what his true desires and feelings about himself are through how he interacts with them. As I explain more in-depth in this post, Xander is very much the kind of person David wants to become. someone who's compassionate and helps others and has hope and not only has faith in a better future, but actively seeks to bring it closer. Xander is David's idea of a good person, an idea that gets shattered after realizing that Xander too is not immune to being deceitful and cruel Teruko and Arei are both people that remind David of himself, specifically the cynical black-and-white way he thinks about the world. But the way he treats both of them is vastly different. The glimmer of light that shined then broke with Xander is re-lit with Arei, because Arei not just shows David a reflection of his own mindset, but a person who wants to change from that mindset. Like you said, David unquestionably saw himself in Arei, specifically his desire to change. Meanwhile in his eyes, Teruko shows no such desire and is forever dead-set on her path

David: Gosh. Teruko Tawaki. David: I know you hate anyone who isn't you, but dragging everyone down with you by getting us all executed is a low blow, even by your standards. David: You're searching for reasons to distrust others, like you always do.

Now we the audience obviously know that Teruko is putting up a front, and if my predictions on how the story will go are correct, I definitely think Teruko will eventually come around meanwhile David will continue on his downward spiral. But that's getting more into theory talk. And as for Hu, David definitely sees his more positive traits within her, specifically the fact that David genuinely wants to help others. That's also something he looked up to in Xander as well, and remember, Xander is David's idea of a picture-perfect good person, the person he wants to be, but thinks he can't be. On the topic of Hu (and this is technically getting into speculation but I think there's enough evidence to support it), I 100% think that she ended up opening up to David about her secret, which is most likely the Hopeless Child one.

Hu: I have to be the one to give everyone guidance. That's the only thing I can do. If no one relies on me, then I won't be useful anymore. Hu: You knew how I felt, and yet you... You... Hu: You toyed with my heart!

And if that is true, that also definitely resonated in David as well considering his own feelings of hopelessness, as well as his suicidal tendencies shown in how he is trying to get himself and everyone else killed in the trial, and also how his hidden quote is most likely referring to himself.

David: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I wish you could just die.

And to cap it all off, I too also think that David's 'facade' was not entirely fake. In a lot of David analyses I see, especially right after the release of CH2-11, there's often a lot of focus on if him pre-CH2-11 was fake or not, and if his current behavior is just another fake persona, or if the small hints of tiredness and grumpiness we see from him like in the prologue is the "real David". But in my personal opinion, I think it's a lot simpler than that I think we're always seeing the real David, we're just seeing him through different perspectives.

#thank you so much for letting me yap anon #asks #{🍀It is an equal failing to trust everybody and to trust no one at all. and to trust no one at all.🌟}#~💫 a constellation!💫~#danganronpa despair time #drdt #david chiem #drdt david

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callme-littlesunshine · 2 years ago

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Overthinking

What should I say, I feel like that right now and it‘s the most hurtful feeling ever.

Warnings: overthinking, smoking

I‘m not sure how I should start, maybe from the beginning?

The first day I met him, he was just cute, I liked his smile and everything. His smile was cute and that was everything I needed to know. We began to talk, spend tome together and shit but one day we lost contact, sometimes talking but that was everything.

One day, he talked to me, said he wanted to spend more time with me, I didn’t know why but I also wanted to spend time with him, i always thought he was cute, even haf a small crush on him but I never paid attention to it. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.

I asked him if he would like to sleep at my room. I had nothing in mind when I told him he could sleep here. He had other plans. i was fucking nervous and I didn’t know why, we were still friends.

When the day came and he slept in my room, we had so much fun. Talking, laughing and even… well fucking. I had my first time with him, he even was my first kiss. It was just perfect. The next day, we slept in, had another round. We cuddled up next to each other and it was so fucking nice. I never knew something like that could be so nice.

When he left, he kissed me goodbye. I missed hin. I still do. He gave me forehead kissed anf I can’t stop thinking about him, his smile, his scent, the kisses… after that, he wasn’t talking to me, well he was but not like before, maybe I did something wrong? Was I not good enough? But he told me he liked it, he told me he vould visit me more often now but… did he just say that because I wanted to hear it? I don’t know.

I tried talking to him but he ignored me, I told myself Inwas not speaking to him maybe he would talk to me on his own. But a few hours after that, I asked hin something. I feel so stupid really. I broke my own word. Lord satan I’m so stupid.

My problem with this whole thing is, that I’m overthinking too much. One word and my head is making some scenarios that I don’t like. He didn’t say anything wrong but the thought that maybe there are other woman who he slept with and do this things he did to me, is killing me and I don’t know what I should feel.

I’m not eating since a few days, small portions but that’s everything. Maybe I’m not skinny enough for hin, but he did say he liked me the way i am. Maybe I’m not pretty enough? But he also said I’m fucking pretty. That he things I’m beautiful. This is so confusing. My head is making me crazy.

He will come around on his own, I don’t want to be annoying ot something. I mean, I feel like I’m an annoying brat, i don’t want to be like that. Thats why I’m the way i am. Never asking something because some day they could think I’m annoying.

Today is the wordt day of all, I cried myself to sleep the day before. I feel like shit, my head hurts, my eyes and even my throat. Maybe this is too much. I don’t know.

I was ouside the Ministry, smoking a cigarette and staring into the dark. It‘s calming. I was thinking about nothing right now and this is so much better than always thinking about him. It felt good. But this changed in an second when I heard his voice. A few hours ago I was talking to Aether about everything, I didn’t told him everything but only the funny things but they are ghouls, they could feel or smell when you’re not feeling well. Maybe he smelled it but they were walking in my direction.

Fuck! I took another drag of my cigarette and stared ahead. My thoughts are coming back now. The wordt thing about this is, that I know that I‘m no ones first choice. Always the second one or even not one. Thats the same with him, I‘m sure I’m not his first choice. That hurts the most. I want to be someone’s girst choice, I want to be selfish for once.

I closed my eyes because I knew Inwas going to cry because of this. I can’t cry they’re here. I need to stay strong. „Y/N?“ i heard his voice. Sodo… such a beautiful voice.. saying my name. „Yes?“ i asked without looking. „is everything okay?“ is he serious right now? Is he asking me this?

I didn’t say anything just stared into the darkness. He should think about what he did than maybe he knows what’s wrong with me. But he did come around. That’s one good thing. He is talking to me again.

I’m not mad at him, he has his own life, he is jusy with practice and stuff but… i just wanted to be loved by him is this too much to ask?

„Yeah… everything’s fine“ I said aftet a while, my voice was broken but I trief to sound normal. Maybe he believes it but I don’t think so. And I was right, he csme towards me, spinning me around. „You know I can smell that you’re not fine“ he told me and I inhaled deeply, smelling him again.

„Sodo… what do you think? After you kissed me goodbye, you ignored me, like I didn’t even exist. Do you know how much this hurts? I know you’re busy but sometimes I just want you to talk to me, i don’t care about what, just talk to me. i know you have other stiff do to. Maybe I’m just selfish because I want to be loved.“ i said while looking at him, not realizing my tears are running down.

„Y/N you know I’m not good with this stuff. I’m sorry for making you feel like this. This was kot my intention. i would never hurt you like this on purpose. Please…. Forgive me.“ he pleaded. I sighed deeply. I don’t know if I can. I want to but i don’t want to get hurt again. I hate that shit.

„Let’s talk about this… we find a solution I promise“ he told me, hugging me tight and st this moment, my walls broke down and everything I tried to hide, came back up. I let my tests fall, crying like there is no tomorrow. „i hate you sometimes, why are you like this? Why am i such an overthinker? Can’t i be normal?“ i asked while crying.

„I don’t want you to br normal, you sre special and i like that about you. I like your weird hair, even your hair color is something bot everyone has. It’s special. You’re special. Don’t say that you’re perfect the way you are my love“

Part 2?

#nameless ghoul x reader #dew ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #dewdrop x reader #sodo ghoul x reader #sodo ghoul #ghost band x reader #ghost band

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im-a-moldy-bread · 1 year ago

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Base off this post:

Idk where to go from here, so I will continue when idea's strikes. Or they upload a part two snd I can be free from my mind.

=================================

"We are married, by the way."

Huh? What is this man talking about.

I woke up with a pounding headache, and my body tied to a chair. As far as I can recollect, my nemesis, scaramouche had foiled my long term project in the akademiya again. Furious, I stormed my way to find him, and somehow get wrap up in an intense duel. I must have lost my consciousness during then.

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a dimly lit storage room. The rope was very tight and any big movement would cause it to suffocate my skin. Realising it a futile attempt, I quickly look around my surrounding when the wooden door creak open.

It was scaramouche. Internal panicking, my mind jump to amnesia. Yea he will completely believe me if I told him I forget everything..

"Well you're finally awake. I did not think you would lower your guard so simply."

I stared at hin with confusion, or at least I hope that how it would appear to be. "Hey mister, where am I? I felt like I just woke up from centuries of sleep. I can't remember who am I, or what's my name."

He stared at me, albeit a bit taken aback. Since like I have quite the talent in acting. "What games are you playing? You think that would help you escape?"

"Escape? Mister, are you the one who tied me up? Are you someone I know? Uhh whoever you are, I'm very sorry if I done something to warrant your actions. Can you explain the situation a bit?"

His questioning gaze was gone, after all i almost never apologise, not to him anyway. "Stop calling me that, just call me scara the way you always insist to."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "We are married, by the way." He get down on his knees to untie the rope.

Wait. WHAT.

This wasn't part of the script. What do you mean we are married??? Plus who even ties up their lover onto a chair??? Could this be another scheme of his??? Wait what will he even gain by claiming I was married to him???

My brain was still processing this development when he finish untying me. "Are you okay dear?" He stared at me nonchalantly. He called me that as if he been calling me that for the last century. What happen to "insignificant insect" and "unsightly worm"???

My lips were sealed for a second as I think carefully about how to reply him. "Mis- I mean Scara, you are saying you are my husband? Then can you explain why am I here, all tied up?" Let's see how you get out of this.

He nods. "One of my enemies blackmail me with your life. No worries, I have already took care of them." He helps me get up like the caring husband he claimed to be.

"I..I see, that explain why I have some burns on my arm..."

"They must've hurt a lot." He gently go over the burns. "I am going to make sure whoever did this will wish they were never born."

It was you. It was your electric shocks. I never realise you can spew so many lies so naturally. Seems like he will also be a formidable enemy if I ever pursue an acting career. Nonetheless, I still have to held back until I escape from this rundown storage.

"Scara, uhmmm if you truly are my husband, can I ask for some food?" Gosh why does that word roll off the tongue.

It was very brief, but a blush definitely painted his porcelain cheeks. "Ah come on let's get some Fatteh at the market place."

#scaramouche x you #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche x reader #modlybread

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poisongothgirll · 6 days ago

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Enemies or more?

( So I watched squid game season two and, OMH gi hun and the in-ho are kinda.., and I knew I had to write a fanficton one shot again after 3 years, this is my first time I wrote a gay fanficton and I wrote this at 4 am so it could sometimes not make sense or have grammar mistakes, so I hope you enjoy, comment if you want more or one shots about specific players. Also I don’t know how to use tumblr to make my post aesthetic so forgive me if it looks weird. Have fun reading.)

After his little rebellion, Gi-Hun woke up from a deep sleep, the only thing he could remember was how his rebellion went wrong, young Ill was dead, and his best friend, murdered by the frontman himself. Gi- Hin felt like he was trapped in a nightmare, a nightmare that would never end, he felt a great hopelessness, and emptiness.

The room he was in was luxuriously furnished, almost as if someone had prepared it especially for him, the bed he was on was a luxurious king-size bed with two large pillows, the chairs and table were made of expensive leather, everything was immaculate, even shiny, while on the wall were various pictures of landscapes, animals or even buildings. The wallpaper was covered in the finest fabrics and the carpet was made of silk

In contrast to the rest of the place, this room seemed like an oasis of calm and elegance.

Gi-Hun didn't know why he was in a room like this and not in a cold and dark isolated cell in the basement of this cruel house.

He looked at his green tracksuit that was full of blood splatters from various people, remembering the horror before.

Gi- Hun was deep in thought when suddenly the door of the room opened and none other than the front man stood before him, dressed in his black suit and the cold mask that concealed his identity.

"You're awake." the voice spoke without empathy with a voice-distorted altered. „YOU KILLED MY FRIEND!" gi-hun shouted, his voice loud and a mixture of sadness, frustration and anger. He wanted to beat the man in front of him so badly that he didn't know what today and tomorrow were, but the handcuffs on his hand stopped him from moving even an inch.

The frontman just laughed coldly under his mask, and began to speak in a tone characterized without any compassion.

"He would still be alive if you hadn't tried to play the hero with your little ill-conceived plan. I thought you knew better, thought you knew the consequences of your actions. But you ignored it, you defied me, so he who will not hear must feel, Gi- Hun."

"You son of a bitch, you'll pay for this!" shouted Gi-Hun, but the frontman just laughed.

"You're lucky I let you live, for now. You're intelligent and clever. If only you had gotten on that plane, you wouldn't be in this mess now. I warned you often enough, but it seems like you missed me, like you were better off with me. You're risking your life and the lives of others just to find out who I really am, and to end the games, games you cant still end, remember one thing, it's not just me who decides, there are too many people more powerful than you and me. And you will never be able to stop them, no matter how hard you try.

Gi-Hun listened to him, thinking over his monologue for a minute until he answered.

"Oh yes, I will find out who you are, eliminate you and then end this cruel game once and for all." he hissed.

The frontman was silent for a moment.

"Eliminate me? Well that's a bit amusing don't you think? I think I'd rather eliminate you and then carry on as before, but let's change the subject, I've had enough of your thinking. So how do you like the room? I had it specially prepared for you, this room alone is worth a few million. I hope you like it," he said with a little more emotion.

Gi-Hun was shocked, for him? This room? Just by himself? He had so many questions.

The frontman saw his expression through his mask.

"Surprised, aren't you? I bet you thought I was going to put you in a dirty little cell in the basement, didn't you? But that's no way to treat guests, is it? My guests deserve to feel comfortable, even the ones who try to sabotage me," he said.

It all made no sense to Gi- Hun, why would the frontman want him to be comfortable after killing so many of his guards and causing chaos? But he found it much better than sitting in a cold dirty prison cell.

"Why? I don't understand, what do you want from me? Who are you?" asked Gi-Hun desperately.

But the front man just laughed again under his expressionless face.

"Oh Gi-Hun, you'll find out as soon as possible. I promise you that," he replied. It was almost as if he was looking forward to it. Secretly, he enjoyed his time with Gi-Hun, but he knew he could never admit it. It was too complicated for him.

Gi-Hun had a confused look on his face, he didn't know why the frontman was treating him like this, he had expected to be beaten up or shot. But the front man just sat calmly on one of the leather chairs and watched him through his mask, Gi- Hun knew for sure that he was amused by him, or was it something else? He couldn't interpret it properly. Was there something special between the two men who were actually enemies?

He would soon find out.

#squid game #squid game season 2 #in ho x gi hun #kdrama #korean #in ho squid game #front man #front man x gi hun #fanficton #love story

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mymarifae · 4 months ago

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I tried to reply to ur moze ditching jiaoqiu post but my reply was literally too long so I couldnt. cringe. anyways,

I actually rlly liked this part of his characterisation bc it makes hin Extremely practical. bc honestly logically it makes sense! he asessed the situation and determined there was no way he would be able to defeat hoolay (guy who hasnt been killed by the forest for swords for 700 years) by himself so the best course of action is to retreat and look for help

plus he did inisist on staying when jiaoqiu first told him to run and only ran after hoolay broke free and the situation was clear it wasnt going to get better

also I do love the romanticism abt two ppl being extremely devoted towards someone else teehee ^_^

bc they may care deeply for each other but above all they are loyal to their general <3

okay sorry for rambling abt ur probably liveblog this was the first post I saw abt this topic in the jiaoqiu search while scrolling through it after waking up just wanted to share my two cents since u were wondering why ppl arent that bothered by it

he may be extremely practical but imo he's Too Practical. he doesn't have to defeat hoolay - and defeating hoolay would likely be counterproductive to jiaoqiu wanting to see if his lupitoxin is the key to curing feixiao. he just has to get in there long enough to drag him to a slightly safer corner of the prison (and there are a lot of nooks and crannies to hide in in that place). honestly this is probably exactly what dan heng and stelle were thinking in this moment LMFAO no wonder i've been such an astral express trio polycule truther since Day One i share their thought processes and everything

i don't think it's like bad characterization or anything i just don't vibe with it. i also don't understand what romanticism you're talking about fgkjsdbklsnfjbdfgkn like what's... romantic about that... nothing there appeals to me. BUT THAT'S OKAY i know my perspective on romance and love is somewhat unconventional and sometimes what other people find romantic and appealing doesn't click in my head as such - and vice versa ! if we're going to be doing a yaoqing trio polycule (which i do really like, in theory, if i wasn't so annoyed with moze rn) i want an even distribution of devotion between all three members... i want them to find themselves becoming reckless and even foolish in their love, ready to throw themselves into the thick of danger to save the others... not just moze and jiaoqiu putting loyalty to their general above all else, including each other...... does that make sense .

but anyway thank you for sharing your two cents i do appreciate hearing about your perspective, even if i don't fully understand all of it !!!!

#mailbox

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 11 months ago

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Since you’re answering questions about certain ships, what are your thoughts on Naugus x Geoffrey? I find it quite interesting just for the potential for a lot of drama and angst.

Oooooooh okay

So, anon, I had actually never considered this ship before but I think...

Okay, okay, I'll cook for a second because I think you're right, anon. It can be interesting, and I think it has some interesting potential as well

(My thoughts are under the cut because long. Also, there are mentions of Geoffrey/Sally, Geoffrey/Elias, and some talk of Geoffrey/Hershey here)

ㅤ

So, as those who've read Archie Sonic would know, one of Geoffrey's main character traits was his loyalty to the Crown of Acorn. Then, when Ian Flynn took over for writing his character, this...shifted a bit.

Initially, Geoffrey's characterization seems to play into the expectations already set up by issues past. When I first read this set of panels in StH 223, I remember thinking "Oh, I see. So Geoffrey was truly working for King Max before. It's just that when Ixis Naugus and King Max revealed the truth (that Ixis Naugus became the true King of Acorn after Max swore fealty to hin in the Zone of Silence), Geoffrey started working for Naugus in secret. I hate that this twist kind of came out of nowhere, but yeah that's an interesting take on his character."

But then I read StH 233.

And this page from 233 alone says so much.

Geoffrey started following Naugus before he ever was the "true king". This kid is grieving, and he has every reason to be afraid. He grew up in the midst of the overlander/mobian war, he was there when King Max took Robotnik as one of his warlords (the very same one who later betrayed the Kingdom and began a new war), and his father was just killed by overlanders. And when the poor kid is at his lowest, seemingly without anyone else to lean on now that he's fatherless, he happens to come into contact with Ixis Naugus—someone who knew his father, someone who shares his distrust in overlanders, someone who promises to return and fix everything, and someone who is willing to step into the role of his support.

From this point forward, young Geoffrey St. John believes in Ixis Naugus. He really believes that where others have failed, Ixis Naugus will return to bring back peace.

And frankly, with the limited, often spotty communication (even during Geoffrey's Ixis apprenticeship), that it's a long stretch of time between him seeing Ixis Naugus as a kid and later as an adult, and the fact that Ixis Naugus and his promise of fixing everything made him Geoffrey's...pillar so to speak (likely his only support after the death of his father), I think this could very well have opened Geoffrey up to participating in god or hero worship of Ixis Naugus.

So, to me, it's not hard to imagine Geoffrey St. John growing up, teaching himself as much as he can of the Ixis magicks in the dark, savoring every moment of the little talk he can make with Ixis Naugus. He barely remembers what Ixis Naugus was like before, but he knows his voice and he knows his promises. With that little contact, with only his voice as evidence of existence for so long, it was easy for him to put Naugus up on a pedestal as something other (some grand savior).

"The Kingdom of Acorn failed to protect its people time and time again, its current King trusted the very overlanders who slaughtered our people—people we love—and all of us who still live are paying for it. But my master was the only one there for me when the overlanders killed my father. He knew Warlord Julian was not to be trusted. It's because of him I'm here, and it's because of his guidance that I could be the one to prepare for his return. I'm his special apprentice, the only one who’s really fighting for peace. And once Ixis Naugus returns to this world, all of my efforts will have paid off. My master will save us all. Just like he saved me."

You get me?

And, really, Geoffrey would have had to trust in Naugus that way (really believe that Naugus could save everyone) to go as far as he did for him. He searched for other Ixis artifacts and writings, taught himself as much as he could, as Ixis Naugus himself scarcely had the chance to teach him much. He played the long game, working his way into Sally's trust first, and then into the rest of the royal family second. He put so much work into the hope that he could help Ixis Naugus fix everything.

I probably don't need to tell anyone reading this that such great devotion often blurs the line between devotion and love. So...it is sad that the guy Geoffrey has spent so much of his life working for, likely worshipping, waiting for him to arrive and make everything okay again, probably considered his apprentice no more than one of his most loyal pawns. To believe so much in someone, to devote your life and future to them, to crave that future where you can one day see and work with them, while you're his unknowing tool he can use to grab more power. And...yeah it's more than a little fucked up how well Naugus had manipulated Geoffrey!

But, of course all relationships change over time, and Geoffrey and Naugus's is no exception. In addition to what he dealt with via spotty communication (and what he could have dealt with, given we don't know how Naugus spoke to him in those brief moments they could communicate), we can gather that Geoffrey's image of Naugus was not necessarily perfect.

Whether Geoffrey's "my master is about as subtle as a brick" line was something he's been thinking since Naugus first escaped the zone of silence, or if it's something he's come to admit in hindsight (or even how Geoffrey felt about Naugus's character then vs during issue 233) I cannot know. However, the impact of meeting Naugus in person after so long associating his disembodied voice with a grand mission of peace...

It's possible that Geoffrey originally just assumed Naugus to be in need of some guidance himself (as Geoffrey had become more of a tactician over the years Naugus was sealed in the Zone of Silence), but I don't think it's a stretch to assume that dealing with Naugus first hand and having to play damage control could have been what first started to plant any seeds of doubt in Geoffrey's head. Regardless of all of that, though, Geoffrey remained loyal.

After all, Ixis Naugus? Their seemingly shared goal? This was Geoffrey's rock. It's what's been giving his life meaning and purpose since the death of his father. He's relied on it for so long, and having to play some damage control isn't enough for him to give up on his master.

Geoffrey had loved Sally, but Sally would not accept his master as king. He had not loved her more than he was devoted to his master. Geoffrey had loved Elias too (in my opinion at least), but with Naugus sealed away in the zone of silence, his mission came first. What was of utmost importance was making a stronger kingdom for Naugus to return to (and, later, to make sure he even had people and a kingdom to return to at all). Geoffrey had not cared for Elias more than he'd cared for his grand mission of fixing everything. So though he'd genuinely cared for the two of them, those friends of his would function as...pawns—just two figureheads necessary for keeping the peace.

But then, as things grew worse and worse in the year of Sonic's absence, Geoffrey clung to this goal he'd been pursuing all this time. He was struggling just to make sure Naugus would have anything to come back to, and even to stay alive. And then, at his very lowest, at the depths of despair, with his team destroyed and so many people lost, Geoffrey looked to Naugus.

Geoffrey was failing his grand mission—felt as if he had failed—failed his job as a secret agent. So, as one would expect, he turned to his rock. His master had been one of the only people he could ever trust. His master had been the only one there for him most of his life. His master had been that beacon of hope and eventual. Maybe he (Geoffrey) had failed, but as long as Naugus was there...

But then he wasn't there.

In fact, it might have felt reminiscent of the day he became Naugus's apprentice, because again the world around him is going to shit, the kingdom is falling, people are dying, and the one person he cares so much for (the one he places his hope in) is gone. He's at his very lowest, missing that very rock he's relied on for so long.

And then, just like Naugus after the death of Ian St. John, Hershey came to Geoffrey while he was at his lowest. When was without his rock, she grew to become another.

Maybe he had failed, but Hershey was able to give him hope (something only Naugus had been able to do before her). And while with Naugus Geoffrey dedicated his life to him and their mission, expecting nothing in return (or, well, even if he couldn't let himself expect I'm sure he wanted), with Hershey he could breathe and live his life beyond the mission. Where he showed her love and care, she could return it (and he would have proof beyond words of promise). While Naugus had been sealed away most of the time Geoffrey knew him and he had to do a lot of his work alone, Hershey was his partner.

Anon, I'll be completely honest with you right now. Before I decided to dig a bit into Mr. St. John's head so I could properly put some ship thoughts on the page, I had not actually realized how much Ixis Naugus's relationship with Geoffrey paralleled his relationship with Hershey (his wife). They were both his rocks, so to speak. They both gave him reason to continue, to hope, and something to live for.

And, as long as I'm talking about Naugus/Geoffrey for ship purposes, perhaps...the love he found in Hershey could have been something he was seeking in Naugus all this time (even subconsciously).

Sad, isn't it?

Sure, I don't think Geoffrey ever fully gave up on his mission of peace (and Naugus by extension), but with Hershey in his life and Naugus silent, I don't think it's a stretch to conclude that he sort of allowed his previous mission to fall to the wayside. Naugus finally returned to the world in StH #163 (for reference, Sonic's 1 year of being dead took place between StH #125 and StH #130), which was an event Geoffrey wasn't present for but likely learned about. In StH #173, the freedom fighters capture Mammoth Mogul, Ixis Naugus (who's currently lost the ability of complex thought), and the Hooligans. Then in #177, Nicole traps Ixis Naugus and Mammoth Mogul along with the Hooligans, and Mogul escapes a second time, taking the other 4 with him, in StH #186. By StH #187, Geoffrey knows Mogul's current location, as he and Rouge were both sent on a mission to look into casino night zone where Mogul started a business.

But with all of that in mind, Geoffrey doesn't move to free Ixis Naugus until StH #220. Naugus came back in #163. Naugus was free but in Mogul's hands in #186. Geoffrey didn't come for him until #220.

But, as someone who's read Archie Sonic or knows Geoffrey's story knows, Hershey was sent on a mission. She went silent for so long that Geoffrey moved to investigate himself.

Only to learn that his wife—his new rock—was pronounced dead, and he could neither find hair nor hide of her.

With this set of panels, I feel the implications are clear. With his new rock, his support, dead, Geoffrey was now without his pillar for a third time, and had lost the current direction/hope in his life again. But, unlike before, there is still someone to turn to.

Hershey may be dead, but Naugus is alive, and Geoffrey's long known that. Plus, although Hershey was with him during the ongoing war with Robotnik (a war which nearly destroyed the Kingdom he's believed himself to be fighting for this whole time), the Iron Dominion followed up after Robotnik. And during that reign of terror, Geoffrey watched first-hand as the Iron Queen weaponized Nicole and Monkey Khan. He was there as the City of New Mobotropolis itself turned on its people—a living nightmare. He was even there while the Iron Queen had ordered public legionizings of New Mobotropolis's citizens.

His wife is gone, the world has been a mess, the monarch has almost been reduced to a figurehead with the rise of the council, and he's almost lost his people again. He's angry and scared all over again. So, Geoffrey St. John finally moved to restore his master, and to pursue that purpose he'd set on the backburner once more.

Because when that's complete, everything will be okay again, right?

And once Geoffrey restores his Master's sanity and retakes his place at his side, their relationship begins to shift again. After all this time, you can tell Geoffrey's still desperately holding onto the hope that Naugus's return will spell peace for the once kingdom.

And I mean desperately.

If we bid to remember that Naugus has been Geoffrey's support most of his life, that he gave Geoffrey his purpose and someone to trust after his father's death, that he's been Geoffrey's support longer than Hershey or (likely) his father was, and how much of his life Geoffrey has been following this purpose while believing it's for the greater good, then well. What kind of person does it make Geoffrey if he followed a liar and a manipulator? What has his entire life been for if his actions haven't been bringing about eventual peace? What does the fact of all of the people he hurt and backstabbed mean if the end doesn't justify the means?

Naugus is Geoffrey's last support (at least, this is how it feels to him), and he can't lose that.

So young Geoffrey St. John starts from a purer place of hero worship, grows into a young adult who's accepted that his hero and master just needs the guidance he can provide, puts his efforts into his master's goal but, as his master is not there for him again when things get hard, eventually puts it aside to pursue life and a love that is returned. And now that his master and their seemingly shared goal is all he has left, all he can do to keep on moving is to throw his entire self into that purpose again.

And because he can't lose Naugus, that means he needs to be needed by him, and needs to believe that Naugus was telling the truth all those years ago. So if Naugus wants to get rid of him or punish him for his failures, then Geoffrey needs to prove that he needs him. If Naugus wants to hurt people seemingly unnecessary by enacting plans Geoffrey doesn't agree with, then he'll provide advice while reminding himself that Naugus is ultimately pursuing their goal of peace. He'll suck it up, gloss over red flags, pretend this is all fine while being passive aggressive.

And he'll do it until he ultimately can't anymore—when he's forced to recognize that Naugus just wants power and absolute control, and doesn't care who has has to hurt and use and kill to get there. And then when he does...

Well, even when Geoffrey's had enough with it all for the final time, he still tries to give Ixis Naugus the benefit of the doubt. He tries to convince his master that they can have a second chance, that he can choose to be the person Geoffrey thought he was. He faces the choice between betraying Naugus (which may allow him to "do the right thing for once") and staying loyal at all costs by trying to convince Naugus to choose to do the right thing.

And ultimately...Naugus chooses to keep on the path he's on. Rather than ask for help, show any weakness, try to do the right thing, or hope for a second chance, he chooses to keep pursuing his goals of total power and control at all costs.

And, ultimately, he possesses Geoffrey's body, just like he'd done to King Acorn over a hundred issues before.

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Their story within the context of canon is...tragic. Geoffrey was just a boy, dealing with war and death and grief and anger and purposelessness, who was manipulated. He put almost his entire life into working towards what turned out to be a false mission. He put so much love and devotion towards a master who never had any intention of returning that, who had only ever seen him as a loyal pawn. And Ixis Naugus, with all of his great power, lead a life of manipulation and pursuit of more power. He didn't care what he had to do or who he had to hurt to get it. And so among his many pawns, he took an apprentice. This apprentice, a boy who had been so easy to win over with fake words and attention here and there, was not more special than any of his other pawns (absolutely not in the way the boy had likely fancied himself to be). Just like the rest, he was only needed when he was useful. So Ixis Naugus continued to pursue power and control and use and hurt and use and hurt and use and hurt. But if Geoffrey paid for everything by losing control of his body, then Naugus pays by hurtling towards inevitable oblivion. After all, one can only run from their demons, use people, push people away instead of accepting help, and commit any crime for the endless pursuit of power for so long. If only Geoffrey had let more people in or gained a better support network. If only Naugus had listened to Geoffrey when he was at his lowest. If only if only if only if only–

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Okay, okay, I'm sure you didn't ask this question only to get a bunch of talk about Archie Canon, anon 😂. So, let's talk some shippier talk.

Aside from the tragedy aspect, I think there's ship potential for just about every point in Geoffrey's life.

To start, there's younger Geoffrey—the version of him who perhaps had most genuinely believed in the future Naugus had promised him. He grew up listening to a disembodied voice and imagined a hero that would fix everything. Sure, Ixis Naugus couldn't talk to him much, but when he eventually gets freed he'll put things right, and he needs Geoffrey to prepare for his return. So he trains under his father's teachings, and he teaches himself the Ixis Magicks. He works so hard, and he’s glad he can talk to his beloved master even a little bit. After all, what more can he ask for? His hero can't help that the reception is spotty and their time to talk is little, so all he can do is do his best to make up for it. He's the apprentice of someone who can bring real change, and he can't let him down.

But he can’t help but imagine sometimes what it'll be like when his master finally arrives. Everything will be saved, everything will be okay, he'll never have to be scared and alone again, and...then what will Naugus do when Geoffrey finally stands at his side? Of course, of course, he would never place expectations upon his master. It's enough that he's been there for him, giving him hope and a purpose, allowing him the security of having someone to rely on, and yet, he can’t help but want. So if he performs so perfectly well—his master's perfect little apprentice—how will he praise kiss reward him? After all, hasn't he been so loyal?

To younger Geoffrey (or Geoffrey pre Naugus's escape from the zone of silence, rather), perhaps the love and devotion he's carried for his master was his first love.

And then, there's Geoffrey who meets his master after so long. To see the guy you'd put up on a pedestal and worked so very hard for again. He's been imagining this moment for so long!

But his master has been away from Mobius too long. Of course, that's why Geoffrey needs to play damage control. His master is great, and powerful, but he doesn't understand the art of subtelty. He doesn't understand what good could come from playing his cards right, enacting a plan rather than just taking a Kingdom by force. So if Geoffrey needs his master so he can have someone to trust and rely on, so he can have hope, so he has a purpose to work for, then Naugus needs him to guide him now. But then...his master is sealed away again. Maybe if his master had listened to him it wouldn't have come to this, but... No. Maybe Naugus was sealed away again, and maybe Naugus's voice had fallen silent, but that doesn't mean everything is over. It can't. Naugus will come back just like before, and Geoffrey will present him a Kingdom stronger than ever for his master to rule. So the ever dutiful apprentice will play the long game, do whatever it takes to make his master proud.

Until everything goes to shit, that is.

For the first time in so many years, Geoffrey is at his lowest. Grief, anger, despair. He's failing his master, failing his people, failed his team. He's done so much in pursuit of his goal, and it's meaning nothing. He can’t even make a meaningful difference with Sonic "dead". He feels guilty as he begins to think that Naugus doesn't care for him as much as he thought. After all, Naugus is the only person who's ever been there for him, the only one he can trust, the only person he can rely on, and he can't help if he's busy with the zone of silence (especially if that's integral to his master's plans), can he? But Geoffrey is starting to lose hope, guilty as it makes him feel on top of everything else. He's afraid again. Everything hurts so badly, and he just wishes his master was here.

But he's silent, gone, and Geoffrey feels...hopeless. Then when Hershey helps him back up again, becomes his new rock, he eventually tries to deal with the guilt and, with time, he can push that nagging guilt to the back of his head.

But there are days where he can't lock it into its hole forever, and Geoffrey is angry, and guilty, and bitter all at the same time. He wants to scream at his master and curse his name just as much as he wants to hear his voice, receive even a smidgen of comfort, and proof that his master cares what he's done to him for him. Perhaps he dreams sometimes of his master coming back to apologize, to recognize all that he'd tried to do, to forgive Geoffrey for his failings. In fact, perhaps he dreams that his master would take one of his hands and kiss him deeply as he swears to create a bright future with him.

And then, as Geoffrey files those dreams away into the darkest reaches of his heart, he wonders if it's because of that old childlike naiveté or because of Hershey that some of those wishes dressed as dreams are so hopeful and sweet.

Then there's Geoffrey after he receives news of Hershey's death. Angry, bitter, and desperate. He goes back to Naugus because there's nothing else left for him, no other support in his life. And this Geoffrey is as bitter and passive agressive as he is loyal and deluding himself. On the worst of days, Geoffrey is left reminding Naugus why he needs him. On what could be considered the best, Naugus is smart enough to use words and kisses to ensure Geoffrey stays willingly loyal (at least as long as he still needs Geoffrey). But on most days, they're like an old married couple. They're both growing dissatisfied with the state of things, arguing with each other even as they keep the other safe. Naugus is growing more irritable and of less sound mind over time, refusing to show anyone the pain and "sickness" he's experiencing, and Geoffrey can't pretend it's not draining him by the day. He believes that Naugus is working for the greater good and that it's his job to guide him into his rightful place (without unnecessary drama or casualties)—has to, otherwise he has to face the fact that everything he's worked for was for nothing (or worse, in service of someone who was never a good person). Yet, at the same time, he's not stupid. He's growing more passive aggressive and bitter because of the choices Naugus keeps making, but he desperately tries to stay useful and believe in Naugus because he has no choice.

But then...there's Geoffrey who eventually can't take it anymore, who couldn't leave if he wanted to (because now he wants to live, and Naugus makes it so clear how over his life will be if he betrays him). Geoffrey cares for Naugus's wellbeing because he can't help it, he cares because he has no choice. He has every reason to want to get rid of Naugus. He doesn't because he wants to give Naugus a second chance (sure he must concede that Naugus was never the person he thought he was, but he won't give up on the idea that he can be), he cares because Naugus choosing the right thing is the only way he (Geoffrey) can safely do the same. What was once his beacon of hope is now something he cannot let go of, even when he wants to.

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So, summary of all that? Onesided hero worship and devotion Geoffrey/Naugus, where Geoffrey doesn't know that Naugus doesn't actually consider him to be his special apprentice, and where Geoffrey wants his attention and praise deep down. Geoffrey who's beginning to lose hope and is ever guiltier for it, not knowing for sure whether Naugus actually can't answer him or is ignoring him. Geoffrey who's finally learning to live, trying to chain up the guilt as he is somewhat moving on from his previous life, and who wants to take out all his feelings on his master just as much as he wants his master to prove he cares about him, needs him, wants him. And then Geoffrey who has no one left but his master, who clings to him because he has no choice. Geoffrey who can no longer look the other way when his master crosses the line, who's stuck somewhere between "maybe we should both die" and "maybe we both deserve a second chance". Geoffrey who had served his master as best as he could, was the only person to believe that his master could be the hero he'd envisioned, and who'd been betrayed in the end.

And to accompany that, Naugus who'd said the right words to manipulate the feelings of a grieving child, who knew of his apprentice's devotion but only kept him around as one of his many pawns. Naugus who was livid at his apprentice's continued failures and that he'd left him without his sanity for so long. Naugus who never truly recognized just how loyal his apprentice was. Naugus who is growing so desperate to keep his support and power and form, who uses Geoffrey's wants and desires to keep him tethered when he cannot scare him into being forever loyal. Naugus who is losing to his demons, always just close to revealing his weaknesses, whose downfall lies not only in his constant betrayal of the people, but in how he treats his most loyal follower. Naugus, who has been granted the kind of choice no one has ever seriously given him, and chose to keep down his doomed path rather than take his apprentice's hand and give up.

This is my vision. Angst, tragedy, anger, bitterness, occasional pure love, betrayal, desperation, and loss. Definitely interesting, if not fun to play with, no?

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In any case, if you've read this whole thing, anon, I'd love to thank you for the ask! I'm sorry it took so long to answer, but I enjoyed doing research for this ask and ruminating on my answer as much as I did.

If you have any other specific questions as to what I think of/headcanon for this pairing or others, feel free to shoot me another ask!

#sonic the hedgehog #archie sonic comics #ixis naugus #geoffrey st john #geoffixis #naugffrey #shshjs I tried my best on the ship names #anon interview #archie sonic issue 233 #archie sonic issue 223 #archie sonic issue 241 #Woof haha sometimes you set out to wax some poetry and accidentally write a minor character study of an anthropomorphic Skunk with some #shippy stuff mixed in for good measurw #*measure #Sorry it took me so long to answer‚ but thank you for the ask! I enjoyed digging into this ship quite a lot #essay time

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