#AND I REALLY WISH YA A WONDERFUL UPCOMING DAY!!!

[mercuriians]

I feel like a fic about Atsumu, Oikawa, and Bokuto finding their s/o reading fanfic about them would be hilarious

(You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to <3)

Have a lovely day and thank you if you end up doing this request <33333

a fantasy world

content info — gender neutral! reader, fluffy hq!! drabbles with some crack & hurt/comfort (sounds weird but bear w it, all separate). a teeny tiny bit suggestive in atsumu's part cuz he's a little shit.

word count — 1.9k words.

author’s note — holy HELL this is so late 😭 anon i hope ur still here, i made this pretty long so that's my way of apologizing. im also praying that atsumu is in character because this is only the second time ive written him. anyway, tysm for requesting!! hope u all like this <3

MIYA ATSUMU

your eyes are obstinately glued to your phone, wholly transfixed by the words that were typed across the screen. not a single soul knew about your little hobby and quite frankly, it was likely better that they remained oblivious. you wouldn’t know how to react if anyone found out, but really, there was one particular person who absolutely had to stay unaware.

as it turns out, they were also the very subject of the story you’re currently reading—of course, none other than your sweet, beloved boyfriend, atsumu. not that the term ‘sweet’ was an especially fitting term for him. ooh, that was a sick burn.

now, obviously you loved the boy. atsumu was bold, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking, and affectionate to the point where osamu and the rest of his team often complained about how shameless he was in front of them. his spirit burned bright with fiery ambition, glimmering red and orange and yellow, and he introduced a kind of light into your life that you had never quite experienced before. at first you were a little wary at first, a little blinded by how much he shone, but because you were just as stubborn as he was, you soon grew used to it.

if anything, you came to learn that atsumu was undoubtedly one of the most inspirational people out there. motivating his peers was like second-nature to him, and even if he didn’t consciously put in the effort to inspire them, he still ended up doing so anyway. his love for volleyball was blatant in its authenticity, in its obsession. so when coupled with his charisma, and, yes, his boyishly good looks, atsumu developed a serious kind of gravitational pull. it was no wonder so many people were drawn in—yourself included.

but, inevitably, something had to be sacrificed. your boyfriend’s devotion to the game often meant that you two didn’t get to spend much time together. if atsumu wasn’t practicing at the gym, then he was either thinking about doing it, on his way to doing it, or—this happens only under the direst of circumstances—recovering from doing it. he was, in every sense of the word, a workaholic.

you were fine with it for the most part, mostly because you had a busy schedule to deal with yourself. if you weren’t doing homework or studying for an upcoming exam for the sake of staying on top of your classes, then you were either fulfilling your duties as a student council member, playing your respective sport, or taking care of things at home.

regardless, there were still times when you wished atsumu was with you. it didn’t matter if he was spewing volleyball jargon, or forcing you to pepper with him, or anything like that. you just wanted to spend time with him, to actually see him and his stupid face and his stupid smile that you want to kiss so badly.

maybe that’s why you’re so zeroed in on the fanfiction you’re reading—to try and make up for what you’ve been deprived of for days on end. a very palpable twinge of sadness tugs at your heart. you push the unwanted sentiment to the depths of your mind, trying to focus on reading the story again.

god, what sentence were you even on? and why was the door suddenly opening—

“hey baby, did ya miss me?”

your soul leaves your body.

before you even have time to think, a shrill scream rips from your throat as you scramble to hide your phone underneath the covers. atsumu's jaw drops, completely and utterly befuddled by your behavior. after a moment he raises his hands in mock surrender. "jeez, darlin', it's just me. your boyfriend, remember?" atsumu says, brow raised. there's a mixture of emotions written across his face—slight concern, palpable amusement, even some suspicion. "what are ya hidin' there on your phone, anyway?"

finally, you seem to find your voice. "n-nothing important," you mumble, clearly and very intentionally avoiding the intensity of atsumu's hawk-like gaze. "i didn't even know you'd be visiting today.. thought you would be busy with practice again."

maybe it's because your boyfriend knows you so well by now, but he catches the hint of bitterness in your tone. his face softens, and he takes one, two, three steps toward you until he's taking up the space on your left. "coach called in sick, so mister perfect decided to just cancel practice for today," atsumu shrugs. you're still somewhat upset, but you can't help but smile at the setter's nickname for his captain—kita shinsuke, the closest embodiment of perfection that anyone's ever seen.

"i'm pretty sure i texted ya that i would be dropping by," your boyfriend adds, glancing over at you. cautiously, you pull out your phone again and open up the messages app. lo and behold, he did in fact text you, but you were too busy with your fanfiction to notice.

your face burns with the weight of your embarrassment.

a small chuckle escapes from atsumu's mouth. "wow, i haven't even done anything and you're already blushin' for me," he teases. you hit his chest halfheartedly, muttering about how mean he's being. you fail to notice the calculating glint in his eyes. you also fail to notice his hand wandering.

a second later, atsumu grins smugly, your phone held securely in his grip.

"what the hell, 'sumu?!" you screech, trying to retrieve the object in vain. "how did you even—"

"i'm good with my hands," he winks, and you don't even have time to scold him for the clear innuendo because he's typing in the password to your phone. all you can do is accept your fate as atsumu discovers the story you were reading.

as expected, he laughs. loudly. it's almost like the laugh he lets out whenever he wins a bet against osamu. you turn away, shame and humiliation gnawing at your chest. there's nothing more you want than to be swallowed by the floor beneath you.

however, when atsumu's laughter dies down a few moments later, you feel him wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "baby," he begins, voice still a little breathless from all his cackling, "why are ya reading this when ya got the real thing right here?"

you look up at him, a confusing mess of emotions swirling within your stomach. "because we don't seem to spend much time together anymore," you admit, lowering your eyes to the ground. "laugh all you want, but these stories are there for me whenever i need them. you probably think it's stupid, or pathetic, or whatever, but.. i miss you, 'sumu."

you close your eyes, preparing to hear another round of thunderous laughter. it never comes.

"open yer eyes for me, babe," atsumu's voice is unexpectedly soft, tender. hesitantly, you do, and your gaze meets his. your boyfriend reaches out, resting a calloused hand against your cheek. his touch is so familiar, so comforting, that you can't do anything else but lean in and welcome it. "i didn't know that ya were feelin' this way, and i'll admit that it's my fault for not noticing. but hey, you wanna know somethin'?"

"what is it?" you whisper.

"i miss ya too," your boyfriend confesses. he leans in, placing a soft kiss against your lips. "and tomorrow, i'm taking ya out on a date."

OIKAWA TOORU

"oh my god, this is so cute," you sigh dreamily, swinging your feet in satisfaction as you indulge yourself. it was fanfiction, for crying out loud—can you really be blamed? this particular story practically reeked of fluff. you had just received flowers from the male lead, with you two having confessed just a few days ago. now you were on the first date, entering the doorway to a beautiful relationship that made every reader jealous.

the fact that the male lead—the infamous setter of aoba johsai, fanboy of iwaizumi hajime, hater of ushijima wakatoshi—also happened to be your boyfriend was just a minor detail.

you continued reading, the outside world completely irrelevant as you immersed yourself in the story. soon another squeal leaves your lips as oikawa, the male lead, bends down to kiss your hand. he says something swoonworthy, causing you to giggle like a madman. "that's it, i'm marrying you," you say, as if he can hear you through the story.

"marrying who?"

you let out a defeated sigh as your boyfriend pops his head into your room. there's a pout on oikawa's face, his mocha eyes filled with mock betrayal. still there's a part of you that knows he actually is a little bit jealous; he just doesn't know that technically, he's jealous of himself. "who are you marrying, babe?" he asks you somewhat accusingly. "i think it's a bit too early for—"

"shut up please," you groan, a bit sad that your reading session got interrupted. "i'm reading this fanfiction of you, and in the story, you're actually nice to me."

you immediately hear an indignant gasp from your boyfriend. he puts a hand to his chest, his pout now even more prominent. "excuse me, i am nice to you," oikawa scoffs as he walks over, squinting at the story you're reading. "i'm way better than him!"

"you are him," you deadpan.

"exactly! why are you reading that when i'm right here? i'm hurt," oikawa says in disapproval, shaking his head at you. "now move over."

you blink—once, twice. "wait, what?"

"i wanna read too," oikawa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "so i can list all the things they got wrong about me."

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

maybe reading fanfiction about your boyfriend wasn't the best idea. it's not that the story wasn't great because it really was—the characterization was on-point, the writing style was smooth and elegant, and the plot was creative. it's more about your boyfriend himself. particularly the way that he reacted when he found out.

"am i not good enough?" bokuto asked you quietly as he stared up at you. his golden eyes were absolutely despondent, his shoulders were slouched, and even his owlish hair looked like it was deflated. you didn't need akaashi to understand that those were all signs of an emo bokuto.

and it was all because of you.

man, the guilt was unbearable.

"koutarou," you say softly, reaching out to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "baby, you are more than enough for me. you're amazing, okay? you're my anchor, and you make me smile when no one else can. compared to you, this fanfiction means nothing." you pause, placing a tender kiss against his warm cheek. "seeing you sad makes me sad, you know?"

"i'm sorry," bokuto mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder. "i thought i'd let you down or something, like i wasn't being a good boyfriend. it scared me."

his words make your heart hurt even more. you pull away from the hug, letting your earnest gaze meet his. "from now on, you don't have to be scared," you tell him seriously. "i'll stop reading fanfiction, and every day, i'll remind you of how much you mean to me. is that fair, kou?"

bokuto nods, and it's at that moment that you start to see the gloomy aura around him disappear. "i love you," he says, and you can tell that he means it. he always does.

you pull him closer, your fingers combing through his hair soothingly. he hums quietly, enjoying the feeling. "i love you too, koutarou," you smile. "and no story will ever change that."

you let a few moments pass by, simply listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. slowly, you let your eyes close, your boyfriend's strong embrace lulling you to a light rest. after a few moments, though, bokuto's voice breaks through the silence. "can i ask you a question, babe?"

you open your eyes. "anything."

he pulls away, his expression completely serious as he looks at you. "can we get something to eat?"

[milaisreading]

Jersey issues

Pairings:

Michael Kaiser x Reader x Alexis Ness

Warnings ⚠️: none really, reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

@shouaddict here ya go!

"Kaiser!"

"Ness!"

"Kaiser!"

"Ness!"

"Kais-"

"Ok! That's enough, what are you 2 even yelling about?!" (Y/n) yelled as she walked into the living room, wondering why the two were even yelling their last names. (Y/n) was exhausted from all the training today and running around to help the Bastard München players, the last thing she needed was for her two boyfriends to yell like idiots.

"(Y/n), Liebling tell Ness you plan on wearing my jersey for the upcoming matches Germany has." Kaiser said as walked over to her, put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. The girl felt her face up as Ness sent Kaiser a nasty glare.

"Y-yeah... what do you mean by that?" She asked nervously.

"Well, I offered a genius idea of you wearing my jersey. After all, every good girlfriend supports their boyfriend." Kaiser said, moving closer to kiss the girl, but Ness quickly pulled her away.

"We were having a moment, Ness." The blonde glared at him.

"No, you were forcing that moment upon her and it was my idea first. (Y/n), you would rather wear my jersey, right?" Ness' glare softened as (Y/n) nervously looked between the two, then Kaiser sighed approaching the two.

"So? Who's it going to be?" The blonde questioned and (Y/n) felt a big weight on her shoulders as the two stared down at her.

"How... how about I just don't wear a jersey at all?" The two stopped glaring at each other and looked down at (Y/n).

"Liebe, what do you mean?" Ness raised  an eyebrow as the girl fidgeted a little.

"Well, if wearing one or the other's jersey will cause this many issues... then it's better I wear a normal one. Besides, jersey or not I will still be supporting you two." (Y/n) explained quickly as she felt Kaiser grab her hand and Ness tighten his hold around her shoulders.

"If it causes this much trouble, it isn't really worth it!" (Y/n) shouted but they paid no mind, only glaring at each other.

(Y/n) was hoping and praying that after that day the two would stop arguing about the jersey. She really wished she could wear one, but she didn't want to make anyone upset. If (Y/n) wore Ness' jersey, Kaiser will be upset, if she worse Kaiser's Ness will be upset. She just wanted things to be normal again, but as the matches came closer, the more tense the situation became. (Y/n) could feel it, even if they said nothing mean to each other, she knew what they thought. So, in order to find a good solution, (Y/n) used the connections she made in Bastard München to ask for a small favor.

"Finally! There it is!" (Y/n) grinned as she left the building of the GFA. After days and days of waiting the item was done, and just on time! One thing (Y/n) didn't know was that a storm was forming back at their shared apartment.

"You know Ness, you are quite annoying." Kaiser said with a tight smile as the usually smiling boy sent him a glare.

"Right back at you, Kaiser."

There was a small silence as the two glared at each other in the kitchen, the jersey issue was still on their mind.

"You know, it would be better if (Y/n) wore my jersey. After all, I was her first pick and first date." Ness taunted, knowing well how Kaiser was still mad and jealous over that.

"Cute, and I was her first kiss. So who is really winning here?" Kaiser taunted back as Ness gripped tightly on his glass.

"That was a kiss-cam she was forced to do-"

"Ness! Kaiser! Look what I got!" (Y/n)'s voice was heard from the entrance and the duo stopped glaring at each other. It felt like a storm of clouds was lifted and the duo smiled when they saw here.

"(Y/n)! Why did you leave the stadium so early?" Ness asked as he ran to hug her.

"Sorry about that... but I had a pretty good reason!" (Y/n) said sheepishly as she kissed the boy's cheek. Annoyed at the attention she gave him, Kaiser walked up to (Y/n) and pointed at his cheek.

"And me?" He pouted as (Y/n) giggled at his behavior, but smiled as he got a kiss too.

"Anyways, I got myself something. You know the jersey issue from days ago?" The two looked at each other and nodded their heads.(Y/n) got out of Ness' grip and opened the package. The two looked at each other in confusion and then back at (Y/n), wondering what had happened now.

"See! Now I can wear both of your names!" The girl exclaimed, showing them a jersey of Germany's national team, just a little modified. The front was normal, just that it was missing the number but the back was what caught their attention.

The back, instead of one last name, had both of their last names.

'Ness-Kaiser.' They read as (Y/n) started explaining herself, a little bit embarrassed.

"I-I really want to support you both! And if this is how you would appreciate the support, I will wear this jersey! It's so weird, I know-" Ness let out a squeal at how cute it was and hugged her, while Kaiser took the jersey to inspect it, blushing a little in the process.

"This is so cute! My girlfriend is so precious!" Ness said as he kissed (Y/n) on the cheek.

"Our girlfriend, Ness." Kaiser corrected as he kissed (Y/n)'s other cheek.

"And it is adorable, but..."

"But?" (Y/n) raised her eyebrow as Kaiser pointed at the last names.

"We need to get you another one. Kaiser-Ness sounds way better than Ness-Kaiser." Que protests from the magenta-eyed boy as (Y/n) let out a laugh.

'They are idiots... but they are my idiots after all.'

[ghostboneswrites2]

Dirty 30 || One Shot

New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring all my work here slowly!

Request from @mrs--hiddleston on my old blog: It's my 30th Birthday today and I was wondering if I could request some fluff of all fluff related around the reader turning 30? They're very shy, always been told they're not good enough, escapee of a abusive relationship, never really been shown love?

Summary: Daryl plans a special day for you on your 30th birthday.

18+ MDNI || WARNINGS: profanity, mentions of past abuse, mostly fluffy

        "Why didn't ya tell me?" Daryl asked from behind you. You were doing your usual; morning coffee for everyone, heating some bread and jam for everyone, other general morning duties to give everyone a start tot heir day. You were always the first to rise and the last to fall asleep.

        "Uh.. Tell you what?" You asked nervously. Had you forgotten to relay an important message? You hoped you hadn't messed up anything important.

        "Ya know." He urged.

        "I do?" 

        The only thing you could think was your birthday, but you'd never told anyone about it before and it wasn't a problem then. Plus, you'd hate to walk around begging for self celebration. 

        "Thirty?" He asked. You paused spreading jam on the toasted bread and turned to face him.

        "I..."

        "Why wouldn't ya tell me?" He pushed.

        Why would you? You two had grown pretty close since his arrival at Alexandria, where you'd spent the majority of the apocalypse. He visited you constantly, and a few of his friends lived with you. He took you on rides on his motorcycle, you two walked through the woods together. Still, you couldn't see it for what it was, and that was blatant interest in pursuing you.

        "I -- I don't know." You mumbled sheepishly.

        "Yeah ya do."

        "I.. forgot?" You tried to excuse it. The truth was just that you didn't know when or how to tell someone you had an upcoming day to be celebrated. You had never been celebrated, not once in your life. These people you had come to know and love had better things to do than spend their time on you.

        "No ya didn't." He shook his head, stepping closer to you.

        "I -- What's the big deal?"

        "It's your birthday." He said plainly.

        "Yeah, but I mean.. lots of people have birthdays. People that do a lot more for the world than me."

        "So?"

        "So I dunno.."

        "Didn't think it was important?"

        "No." You admitted. "I'm sorry."

        " 'S alright." He shrugged, grabbing a slice of toast from behind you and taking a bite. "C'mon," he talked through his full mouth, dry crumbs falling from his lips. "Eat and get ready."

        "W -- Where are we.."

        "Just hurry up."

        He was annoyed he didn't have time to get you a gift, but he still had a plan. You didn't talk much, or, really, you were borderline silent. He liked that about you sometimes, but he often wished you'd give him more. More about you, more of your interests, more of your thoughts, more of your voice, just more.

----

        "Ever been out this far?" He wondered. You shook your head. "Mm. Should take ya out more."

        You blushed a little. Nobody had ever taken you out, except maybe when your grandpa was still around and he took you for ice cream.

        You followed closely behind him. He had taken you on his bike until about a mile ago, from there the two of you had been hiking through the Virginia woods, mostly in silence. He wasn't much of a talker and you never felt like you had anything interesting to say. You came to a stop and gasped. He led you to the edge of a cliff. Not a big one like the Grand Canyon or something, but it was tall. It overlooked a waterfall on the far left, the mist raising and creating prismatic rainbows all around. You looked up at him with wide eyes as he took in the scene. His eyes landed on you, a small half smile playing at his lips.

        "Like it?" He asked. You nodded quickly, eyes falling back to the grand display of the earth's natural beauty.

        "I always wanted to see a place like this." You breathed. "You brought me here to show me?" You turned your attention back to him. He nodded as he looked down at you through the corner of his eyes. "Wow." Was all you could say.

        "Thought ya might like it. Ya didn't give me heads up enough to find you a real gift."

        "A real gift?" You scoffed. "I've never seen anything this beautiful."

        He struggled to contain a smile. Triumph. He found the perfect thing for you, even when you didn't want him to.

        "I have."

        "You have?" You asked innocently. "Like a bigger waterfall?"

        "Nah." He shook his head, eyes still on you, as nothing, not even a waterfall, would compare to that sight.

        "Oh." You choked. Was he talking about you? Of course not.

        "You have too." He told you. You pushed your eyebrows together in confusion.

        "I think I'd remember that."

        "Ya look in the mirror every day, don't ya?"

        "Well, yeah but I don't -- " Your eyes grew wide. He did mean you. "I -- I -- Oh."

        You stuttered and stumbled. Your ears and cheeks felt hot and you didn't even register the cheesy grin on your face. 

        He studied your face, grazing over every detail like words on a page. You were shy and reserved, much like him in a lot of ways, but unlike him your face was very expressive. Your eyes could tell him a thousand words in a mere second, and right now you read pure, astonished joy.

        "This is--"

        "Got somethin' else to show ya."

        He led you along the side of the cliff and helped you climb down some large boulders before he stopped you, gently tugging your arm down behind one of the boulders. 

        "Ya see?" He whispered. You peered over the surface of the large rock and scanned your eyes before you saw them. A Doe and her fawns. They were grazing the grass and drinking from the still water at the foot of the lake where the waterfall dumped into.

        "Oh my.." You breathed, eyes watering. Such purity in this world was a rarity at best.

        "Found 'em when I was trackin' a buck." He told you. "Didn't have it in me to kill 'em."

        "They look so happy." You nearly cried. He placed a hand on your back, right between your shoulders. He was always respectful of your body, never once touching an area that felt too intimate. Maybe one day, he thought, but never before you were ready.

        You leaned in closer to him, resting your weight into his side. You couldn't peel your eyes away. A family of deer knew more peace than you had ever known, and you had the privilege of witnessing it. You never would have, had it not been for him.

        "Got one more surprise for ya." He whispered. You looked over at him, daring to break away from the beauty before you. He reached in his pocket and pulled something out. The glimmer of metal against the sun caught your eye first. When he let the thin chain hang from your fingers you realized it was a necklace. A dainty thing that looked like silver, with what looked like a handmade pendant. You slowly took it from him, looking closer at it.

        The pendant was a river rock, one that was naturally tumbled to a perfect little oval by the rushing waters of whatever stream he found it in. He had wrapped it in a thin metal wire, intricately weaving it in a pattern that looked neat and tidy. You ran your thumb over the smooth surface.

        "It's quartz, I think." He told you.

        "I think so too." You smiled, a tear spinning down your cheek. "You made this?"

        "I found the chain but.. Yeah." He nodded. You couldn't restrain yourself. You threw your arms around his neck, clutching his gift tightly in your fist. Salty tears glistened down your cheeks. Nobody had ever been this kind to you, let alone a man. Men had abused you, called you names, reminded you every day how worthless you were. Your father, every boyfriend, your brothers, your uncles. Not a single masculine soul had showed you kindness before, let alone put so much thought into making a day special for you.

        "This is the best birthday I've ever had." You whispered.

        His arms settled around you, embracing you in a strong hold.        

        "C'mon. It ain't that special--"

        "No." You shook your head, releasing him and looking him in the eyes as you quickly wiped your tears. "No, you don't get it. This is the most anyone has done for me. Ever."

        His eyes bore into yours, deciding you were serious. How disappointing to know that something as simple as a rock on a chain could sweep you away like this. Surely you deserved better.

        "I'll make the next one even better, if you'll let me."

----

        It was nearly nightfall by the time you made it back to Alexandria. He helped you off his bike, ever the gentleman, and held his hand on your mid-back the entire time he walked you home. You led him inside, planning to pour a glass of homemade mead for the two of you, but you realized there was light coming through your back windows.

        "What's that?" You inquired as the two of you walked to the backdoor. He stepped in front of you, wanting to open the door first. He held it open for you.

        As you stepped outside you nearly cried all over again. He admired your wide eyes as they glistened under the lights that had been strung up all around, marveling at all of the people, food, and drinks that had been waiting for you.

        "Happy birthday!" Everyone shouted. Rosita was the first to run up and hug you.

        "You didn't think we'd let you keep it a secret, did you?" She grinned as she stepped to the side. Everyone else came one by one. Tara, Rick, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn, a few of your friends from before Rick's people arrived. You didn't know this many people even liked you.

        Abraham stepped forward with a glass of wine for you. "Happy dirty-thirty." He winked as you accepted the glass. You spun and looked at Daryl, who was watching with a satisfied little smile.

        "You did this?" You asked. He shrugged.

        "Yes, he did. Don't let him tell you any different." Carol spoke up for him.

        "More like, he planned it." Tara interjected.

        "Yeah, we did all the hard work." Rick teased.

        And there it was. The first time you felt free to just talk. To enjoy people and be enjoyed. To allow others to celebrate you, and to celebrate the love they had for you.

        Daryl spent the rest of that night by your side, a large gesture for someone who tended to avoid social gatherings. You ate food, chatted with people, opened up about silly little things you would have never thought anyone cared to hear. You drank, giggled, laughed, danced, and for the first time in a long time -- maybe ever -- had a good time.

[miam0re]

really wanted to req for mc looking after the little D's while the demon brothers are watching them interact and thinking how good of a parent they would make (you could add some of the side characters if you're not too lazy)

i saw you take requests after i read some of your work so i just had to, I'd get it if you don't want to but if you do take you time

This sounds so cute uwu I wish I had more thoughts to pen down but my brain is absolutely scattered at the moment sooo :p (and yes I am a bit lazy so gonna just scribble down some thoughts about the demon brothers hueheuhue) I played around with the idea, changing it up a little bit so I hope that's ok! (Also I noticed you using 'they' so I'll try to keep this answer gender neutral, please tell me if I slipped up anywhere) (ps not proofread heheh just ideas dumped)

You and Little D | Demon Brothers

“Will you please. Stop. Talking.” The Little D of Pride was being so difficult with all its mindless yapping and screeching, Lucifer was about to literally throw the stupid mini demon out of the window…had it not been for you showing up to save the day!

All Little D wanted was to be heard about his amazing idea on how to decorate the ballroom for an upcoming event and Lucifer wasn’t bothered to give him any mind.

“Oh? Why don’t you tell me all about your ideas? I can’t wait to hear how awesome the are!”

Seeing you…leaning your chin you palm and listening intently to the little one, nodding eagerly and gasping in surprise at all its wonderful ideas…Lucifer felt his heart rate shoot through the roof

He quickly turned around to hide the growing redness on his pale cheeks, lest you actually catch him blushing at how sweet and loving you were…just like a parent

Perhaps it was too soon to be plagued with such thoughts- thoughts of you both having a little family of your own where you cared for your child just the way you cared for Little D-

“Ahem, I’ll be leaving now. Don’t bother yourself with listening to this thing for too long if you have your own matters to attend to.”

His heart skipped a beat when you shook your head, saying that you had more than enough time to spare to ‘your dearest little D’ You were going to be the death of him. 

They were fighting like LITERAL CHILDREN!! Little D of Greed was flying around with Mammon’s precious credit card.

“YOU RASCAL!! COME BACK HERE WITH GOLDIE RIGHT NOW!” Mammon leapt across the room right as you walked into the weird scene

The oh so innocent Little D scampered into your arms and whined, crying about how Mammon was bullying him, who was quick to deny any such accusations

“Oh, is mammon being mean? Don’t worry, I’m here for you.” You nuzzled your nose against the smirking little demon and Mammon knew that he was supposed to be raging with jealousy but…wow, you were so gentle and the way you had Little D wrapped around your finger just the same way you had him…

How you hugged and comforted the cheeky little demon, Mammon started visualising you as a parent

Mammon was already down bad for you and this little sight was the cherry on top

“I wanna marry ya- I MEAN STOP SIDING WITH THAT LITTLE IDIOT”

Mammon was quick to dart closer to you, prying your hands off the Little D who had occupied all of your love and attention 

“Hey now, there’s enough hugs for everyone here.” You laughed and wrapped one arm around Mammon and the other holding the demon

Wow, you were so mature, being able to handle two jealous demons fighting over your love

Yeah you’d definitely be perfect to handle mammon when you both have a child of your own

Leviathan isn’t really the most attentive to his surroundings when he’s immersed in his video games, especially if it is the latest first person game with his favourite character RURI CHAN!!

Which left the Little D of Envy starved for attention, pouting and poking at the purple haired man

“Stoppppp! Can’t you see I’m busy? Go find some other way to stay entertained.”

Sad little demon floats aimlessly until it reaches the lounge where you are resting on the couch, a Switch in your hand. You notice the sad little demon and smile at him, calling him over to sit on your lap.

An hour passed and Levi noticed the silence…he got up and out of his room as he started praying that Little D hadn’t gotten into any trouble

But what he walked into made his little gamer boy heart race

And excited Little D was on your lap with your Switch in hand as you cheered on him, screeching in happiness when he won first place in DemonKart. You both did a little synchronised dance, ending with a high five

Oh Levi’s otaku little heart couldn’t handle the heat travelling through his veins, seeing you be such a good parent like figure and omg maybe you guys could get married and have a little one of your own to play 3 player games with-

“Hey let me in on the gaming as well!!”

Satan wanted to give attention to the Little D of Wrath but he was far too focused on the spell books that lay open on front of him 

“Why don’t you got…sort out my bookshelves? Go be useful.”

Little D was offended but he had to listen smh, but hey, Satan didn’t say anything about him not being allowed to recruit some extra help

And that’s where you came in, pulling us your sleeves and reading the spiral bindings of some of the hundreds of books in Satan’s room, finding the best category to put them in…until you saw the little demon reach for an unstable pile

“Wait! Little D! Be careful!!” A loud crash alerted Satan, who came running into the room

His eyes widened when he saw you on the floor, hugging and rocking a crying Little D back and forth, “Shhhh, it’s okay…you’re a strong one. You’ll be fine.” You comforted it, caressing the spot where the books fell on it

Satan’s heart did a backflip at your caring and affectionate nature. You had worry drawn all over your face as you held onto the little demon, giving it the support it needed in that moment…you would be the perfect parent

You were so much better than anything he could have imagined and making a family with you would be better than any fairy tale “Why don’t we all sort the books together, yeah? That will be better.”

“No no! You’re doing it all wrong! That is not how you apply mascara!” Asmo pouted at the Little D of Lust who had managed to yet again mess up Asmo’s makeup

The Little D frowned at Asmo’s uncharacteristic outburst, feeling helpless while floating out of the room.

“Hey, are you okay? I heard Asmo shout? Did he shout at you?” You showed up in front of the door, opening your arms for the sad little demon

You tapped your chin in thought when an idea clicked in your head “Why don’t I teach you some tricks, hmm?” The way the little demon’s eyes lit up made you smile even wider

Together in your room, you showed it the various techniques of applying makeup, ranging from mascara to blush to lipstick, till the demon had almost mastered the skills

Together, the two of you waltzed into Asmo’s room, showing off your beautiful face all thanks to Little D’s skills.

“Aw, did you teach Little D how to apply makeup? You look so good! You’re such a good teacher.” He pet the little demon’s head

Then Asmo’s face sparkled with the thought of how nurturing you would be as a parent 

“Omg you would be such a wonderful parent when we have a child! You can teach them how to apply make up too! Wouldn’t that be perfect!!”

His unfiltered words made you blush and hide your face away from the thoughts of having a child with him 

“Ughhhhh I’m so hungryyyyyy! I want foooooood!” Beel was once again whining about how hungry he was and unfortunately Little D of Gluttony was subject to his whining

Sad for Beel, Little D wasn’t exactly the most equipped in the kitchen, floating to the room and head spiralling with the number of cabinets and cooking equipment

Lucky for the mini demon, you walked into the kitchen, seeing it in its distressed state

“Why don’t you and I cook something together? That would be a good way to learn, yeah?” You offered, pulling out some pans to make the simplest thing you knew…pancakes

The little demon floated around and carefully listened to your instructions, laughing along with you when some batter accidentally spilled out of the mixing bowl or when you managed to land the perfect flip on the pan

“Mmmmm I can smell pancakes.” Beel, drawn buy the scent of the treat walked into the kitchen, stopping short in his tracks seeing you cooking with the demon

It was a sight right from heaven, his favourite human and his favourite demon doing his favourite activity (cooking something for Beel)

He smiled when the little demon laughed while pouring syrup and decorating the stack with berries, as per your instructions. His heart warmed at how parent-like you were when you high fived the demon and hugged it

“Oh Beel! Look what Little D and I made! Pancakes for you!”

Perhaps one day he would be walking in on seeing you making pancakes with a little one of your own.

The day was already quite tiring, Lucifer had told(more like ordered) Belphie to run some errands around Devildom, grocery shopping ughhh 

All Belphie wanted to do was go into his blankets and fall asleep

He thought to himself, wondering what the Little D of Sloth would have been up to, all alone at home with nobody else to supervise 

Honestly, if the little demon was anything like him, it would probably be in a deep sleep on the couch 

When Belphie entered the living room, he noticed you on the couch and beamed at you, approaching to give you a big hug “Hey!-“

“Shhhhhhh! Little D is sleeping!” You loudly whispered at him, your tone sounding very much like a scolding

Belphie pouted and looked at your lap, the irritated feeling in his gut changing to a soft, loving sensation

Little D was asleep on your lap murmuring in sleep. You were stroking the little demon’s back and if you even dared to stop, it twisted and turned around violently till you gave it attention

“Little D is so much like you! If I stop stroking it, it would get mad!” You giggled when Belphie sat next to you, his thoughts straying to daydreams

Maybe one day the one of your lap will truly be someone like belphie, your child. You stroking the child’s hair who slept peacefully in your embrace.

Belphie blushed, leaning his face in your shoulder to hide himself from your gaze

“Can I rest on your shoulder for a while? I wanna dream a bit.”

Dream about having a life with you, making a family with you hehe.

[awingedinsect]

-Flood me like Atlantic-

Chapter 9

Word count: 2k

Warnings: slight past trauma, cursing, the briefest of allusions to SH again, III is mean but he’s getting softer. I swear.

“Are you really okay?”

His eyes peeled off the keyboard, growing instantly unfocused as she opened the door and stared at him. He sat crossed-legged on the bed, the slats of the window shades casting him in stripes.

“What?” His fingers fidgeted with the loops of a big, prominent white bow stuck on the corner of the instrument. His sleeves fell to his wrists. “Of course I am.”

She stood silently for too long, brows knit. His heart struck up a quicker beat.

“You know, you don’t have to lie to me.” She said. “I want you to talk to me. I’m your mom, for god's sake.”

“I’m fine, I swear.” He said, trying to look assuring. “Just tuning this thing, right now.”

His eyes met the carpet at her feet. She was thinking about it too, he knows. He’d memorized the crimson trail on it, now faded a dark meaningless brown that even his sisters eyes follow sometimes.

Even his sisters.

He swallowed, lashes fluttering. “…I’m gonna take her to the beach.”

“Sure you don’t wanna come?” II’s eyes wander back to him one last time as he stands in the doorway, IV holding it open with a set of keys in his hand. He waits patiently as Vessel shoves his hands in the front of his hoodie, swaying casually on his bare feet. “It’s gonna be a good time, and I know Matt would love to meet ya!” He grins, a laugh in his eyes. “Pretty sure he thinks we’re making you up.”

II has brought his friend Matthew up a couple times now. An old friend from school, now playing drums in his own garage band. The three of them were gonna go bowling today, and of course both II and IV had asked him to come along. But he politely refused. Today is the day he’s gonna take the bandage off of his forehead, and maybe talk to III about the upcoming gig, since he’s still not positive he’s even involved. Though by the end of the conversation he might need a couple new bandaids.

“I guess he’ll have to keep wondering.” Vessel says, a soft smile on his lips. He truly does love the drummer, and he hopes he’s not too disappointed. “I’m not really feeling it today, man. But next time for sure.”

“Well, try and have a nice day around here.” II says, taking a step further out the door and nodding over Vessels shoulder into the house. “You got mister grumpy pants all to yourself, bruv.”

Vessels not sure whether the look II and IV share is sympathetic, amused, or just generally deeper than he understands. But they both have stupid smiles that make him wish he was in the know.

But instead of questions they finally step outside, crunching down the gravel path as he waves them off.

He locks the door behind them.

It’s not what he was expecting.

He holds his bangs up off of his forehead, dropping the cloth into the sink and turning his face slowly in the overhead light.

To be fair, this isn’t the first time he’s taken it off. He’s been showering and waking up to it on the floor beside the sofa, making him wonder just how much he tosses and turns these days. But he always puts it back on before the mirror can beckon him.

There’s something that terrifies him about the whole thing. About the gap in his memories of that night, in which the damn thing must have been carved into him in the first place. The voice in his head feels like it hums from behind the simple scrap of cloth. And the idea of his reflection also being part of the same nightmare in his head would truly prove that, whatever this is, it’s something that won’t leave him.

His shaking fingers graze the raised flesh, following a perfect line that crosses and knits with a few others. He’d say it was a burn, if he didn’t so clearly remember the blood dripping into his eyes. He doesn’t know what it means or what it says, but the meaning is clear;

Mine.

It means that he is owned.

Swiping the hair back into his face, he gives himself a final inspection. You can barely tell it’s there now, and there’s a definite relief at the sight of an otherwise regular bloke in the mirror. With the last few weeks, the dodging his reflection and the ever growing estrangement from his own body, he’d almost forgotten he’s not a monster.

He looks nice.

He almost looks good.

“Alright then,” he says, brushing some lint of his hoodie and picking a dead flake off his lips. “Alright then.”

He treads quietly toward the door at the end of the hallway. There’s not a sound in the house, apart from the faint shuffle of his jeans and a distant flicker that he can’t place. He’s almost scared to breathe wrong, so he really doesn’t at all.

His knuckles rap three quick taps on the door.

His tongue presses the roof of his mouth, mindlessly preparing a “thhh” after he’s met with nothing but silence for a few seconds. But when his weight shifts on the floorboards in what must be the most obnoxious noises known to bassist he hears a quiet “bloody hell” on the other side, followed by a “come in.”

He turns the knob, almost embarrassed by his timidity. Why the fuck is he so nervous? He’s been carried completely naked and unconscious by this guy, he’s been poked and prodded and felt his hot breath on his tear-stained cheeks. he’s been punched in the eye hard enough to floor him and he’s made stupid fucking sounds while quite literally being bathed. So why in god’s name is standing like an 6’4” shadow in the same man’s doorway about the most awkward thing he’s ever been through?

“Um… hello.”

III’s bedroom is about exactly what he expected. On the smaller side, eclectic piles of knickknacks, clothes and colorful decorations all around, not to mention enough incense to knock a person out. There’s a record player spinning lazily by the window, the needle scratching the middle of the vinyl like it’s been forgotten for hours. And on the floor- crossed-legged with his back to the door -is III, hair sprawled all over his head like it hasn’t seen a brush in days.

“What are you doing?” Vessel asks, shoulders getting less tense as he stands curiosity drinking up the sight. He stares at III’s closed eyes in the floor-length mirror.

“Shhh.”

“Meditating?”

“Shhhh.”

“Why would you tell me to come in if it’s a bad time?”

A distressed groan comes out of III and he turns his head, spindly body twisting around to lock him in a glare. “You need something, blud?”

Vessel looks at his feet for a minute, gathering his thoughts. III’s face is bathed in the colors of the several stained glass ornaments in the window, sifting through his long lashes and glowing in his stern eyes. There’s a few candles flickering around the room.

Instead of answering, Vessel decides to just walk in and sit down on the bed. Not something III was expecting, proven as he twists around and straightens fully to eye him. Vessel pulls his feet up onto the bedspread, sitting like an obnoxious cat while still retaining a bit of uncertainty. And it gets just the right reaction out of III.

“I wanted to ask about the gig. II told me one’s coming up and I… was curious about my role.”

III’s eyes are boring into him relentlessly. But again, it feels like a challenge over anything else. Vessel stays put, meeting the stare. A hard swallow tugs on his throat.

“You hoping we’ll let ya sing?”

Vessel’s face flushes, and he can’t help but break the eye contact for a second. He dismisses it by picking at a loose thread in his jeans. “Well I’ve got an extremely flexible schedule. And I’ve been singing with you all, now, for a bit.” He says, offering an awkward sort of smile. “I thought maybe… I was official.”

“Official.” III rolls the word around his mouth, tasting it for a second out of courtesy. But it’s obviously a bit sour. “You think you’re number one all the sudden, blud?”

That’s definitely not what he said. That’s definitely not what he insinuated. God, having a conversation with this man is insufferable. And here he was trying to be polite.

“Well I have been pouring my heart and ass into performing for you guys these last few weeks, crazy to think it wasn’t just for shits and gigs, right?”

III stands up to his full height at that, casting a long shadow down the bed that makes Vessel question his choice of words. “You’ve been fuckin crashing here, you twat.” He bites. “Hiding from the cops on my fuckin sofa and havin fun with a borrowed mic in the meanwhile. You’re welcome, by the fuckin way.” He rests his fist on a sharp hip, throwing a gesture of Vessel’s head. “Looks like you're good as new, now. Ready to go home.”

Oh, hell no. None of that. Vessel’s mouth twists in a scowl, since he’s not sure how else to react to that slew of shit. His throat tightens.

Home.

“First of all, the fun I’ve been having with you guys could of got me enough money by now to call that goddam motel home for another fucking month, if I wasn’t up here singing for the damn squirrels. Second I didn’t ask for any of this shit, I didn’t ask for the fire or these new scars, or any of the things you’ve blamed me for. I’m just fucking tired, man.” The knot in his throat is no idle threat anymore, and he goes quiet, staring up at those deep, frozen eyes. “…Why do you hate me?”

III is silent for a long moment. His lips form a thin line, hair shadowing his features as he bows his head and contemplates something. Most likely, just how he’ll murder him.

He steps closer. And then he fucking shoves him in the chest, knocking the air out of his lungs. He thuds back on the springy mattress, arms falling at his sides and gripping the quilt awkwardly as III towers over him like a goddam predator.

“You’re a bloody good singer.” He says, watching Vessel’s mouth fall open with some short breathes. “The boys like you.”

Each word seems carefully chosen; a gift he only has half a mind to give. The bassist sighs long and hard out his nose.

“You can get up there with us on one fucking condition.” He says. “Cover your fucking face. You might say your innocent, but until I get a whole story and some proof out of your ass, none of us fucking know you. Understand?”

Vessel nods against the bed, something serious in his face now. He doesn’t want to be seen.

“I need a keyboard.” He says, moving on impressively fast from the demand. There’s simply something atrociously fitting about the idea of a mask.

“And there’ll probably be one, too.” III says. “Just make a half decent sound either way.” He moves towards the door now, lifting a weight off of Vessel, who props up on his elbows and watches as he leaves.

“Don’t fuck up.” III says, locking him in one last stare. “Anything.”

He doesn’t have to mention II or IV to make his point. It’s clear as day, and so is Vessel’s resolve to prove that yes, he can be trusted. He can be liked. It doesn’t matter if he’s wearing a mask or not; he wants to be authentic and knowable. Something he’s not sure he’s ever been before.

Besides, the mask will cover up the scar.

It’ll keep the voice inside.

He’s suddenly left alone in the bedroom, unsure of what to do. The record player keeps scratching and the candles keep flickering, and slowly he gets up, wandering to the window. He picks the needle up gingerly, setting it on the rim of the vinyl.

The static is such a familiar sound.

“Clock strikes, upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade…”

[tiramegtoons]

WOW another mutual birthday jumpscare it all happens so soon- congratulations on the survival of another lengthy trip around the sun! Hopefully I manage to place this art into the ask box while you are sleeping, then everyone will be blissfully unaware until the morning of mwahaha! I’m sure you’ll receive many other wonderful wishes as the day progresses, because you’ve clearly got a lotta people who care about you >:D

Obviously I don’t know you personally but I’m glad to have the opportunity to interact with your posts online! And in those brief interactions I can tell you are a very chill & respectful person. So I sincerely hope that the next upcoming months will be kind to you as you are kind to others. Because you definitely deserve to enjoy it. As is probably obvious, this here art is themed after your own blogs Subcon banner because I think it’s very nice design. Hope you don’t mind I took inspiration. Happy Birthday!

WHATUDDJEJFJBRJRFJDH

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU!!

(You remembered?? Why did you remember…

Why am I here…)

YOU

YOU IM GONNA EXPLODE YOU(again)

You and your dastardly plans

Darn you

Hdjdjdjfjdj

And Oh come oooon,

Don’t say that.

You really want me get sheepish in front of all these people??/j

Thank you so .. so much, that’s very sweet.< :]

Hope you know there’s people thinking about you too(including myself). And I think you deserve so very much. You’re always giving others such kind and carefully curated tags and comments over others posts and content.

And honestly, between you and me, I don’t really think myself to be a completely good person. Snatcher might have infected my brain, or I could just be stating the obvious. Everyone has parts of themselves they don’t like or admit to.

But hey, I suppose today I should acknowledge and celebrate all those things. Good and bad.

But hold up

Let’s talk about this lovely artwork here shall we?

First of all,

*SOBS*

MYGODWHYFFDJVJTHISISAEEEAAAA

Second of all,

THE BACKGROUND IS SO BEAUTIFULLY COLORED AND BLENDED I wanna drown myself in it!!! GRAAAAAAAA

also one of the best things I love about Subcon is the glowy mushrooms 🍄

ALSO OMG you got some of my favorite things in here

Ya got Morrigan, my sky kid, moon jumper, Black Dahlia, my toonsona, moonjumper and of course, the noodely main course himself EHEHEHEH

Also how do you know I journal?

(I’m so scared rn/j)

Or wait am I drawing…

IN A SPIRAL notebook??

HOW DID YOU-

(IM GOING TO FIND YOU/j)

Also how do you know I look this pensive while I’m doing it?

Wow..

*in a dangerously low voice*

Someone’s put a lot of thought into this, haven’t they?

(I’m really going to go nuclear on you now)

AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

I’m gonna die now/j

[amberjazmyn]

talk me down💔

pairing : charles leclerc x leclerc fem!reader & arthur leclerc x leclerc fem!reader

summary : anastasia leclerc has to be talked down from committing suicide after she struggles to come to terms with the death of their dad, herve. the person that talks her down is none other than her older brother, charles leclerc.

warnings : description and action of a suicide attempt, crying, yelling, swearing, older brother!charles, stopping someone from killing themself, mention of terminal illness, mention of herve leclerc's death

a/n : i do apologise that yet again it's a depressing one and one that's being recycled but ya girl is truly struggling and i just really want to get something out so here we go!

i'm too tried to go to bed, i'm too wired for anything except the crossfire in my head  

the entire leclerc family knew that something wasn't right with their youngest daughter and sister, anastasia. and they knew exactly what had caused it as well, they just didn't realise how bad it had actually gotten. it had only been a couple of months since the patriarch of the leclerc family, herve leclerc, had passed away due to a cancer battle that he had battled through for years. and anastasia had no idea how to handle it. after the funeral, anastasia felt as though she was running on autopilot.  she was way too tired to go to bed, too wired for anything except for the constant gunfire that went through her head every single second of every single day. all she wanted was to have her papa come home. this sudden loss had thrown her family dynamics so off-wack that she had no idea how anyone in her house was able to wake up every single morning and just continue as if nothing had happened. especially when it was considered that charles had the f2 feature race days later and yet still managed to win the race. and, one day, her brother noticed how far down his younger sister had fallen and tried to help her. 

"...anastasia, ça va bébé?" charles, anastasia's older brother's voice rang out from behind the brunette girl anastasia, are you okay babe? turning around, anastasia simply blinked at her brother, "hmm, désolé char, qu'as-tu dit?" for the first time basically since the funeral and his f2 feature race, the brother and sister actually looked at each other for more than a second or two, making proper eye contact with one another hmm, sorry char, what did you say? it wasn't until this moment when charles finally took a good proper look at his sister since it happened and his f2 feature face that the state of his sister was the same state of grief as him. charles wasn't the only one crying a lot. and it was this moment that anastasia also noticed that it wasn't just her that was crying every single day when she also took notice at her brother for more than a second. the both of them had been crying every day and not once did either of them realise it. and they didn't realise it because they never thought of the possibility of the other sibling even having the same understanding of the other sibling's pain and feelings. because charles and anastasia had completely different relationships with their beloved papa. as did the two other brothers, lorenzo and arthur. after some silence, charles spoke up again, "i was asking you if you were okay, ana. tu voles en pilote automatique depuis un petit moment et je me demandais si tu avais besoin de parler à quelqu'un," charles questioned which shocked the girl you've been flying on autopilot for a little bit and i was wondering if you needed someone to talk to not that charles was a crappy brother to his sister, usually he was just never this available to spend all the time in the world that he wished to with his family. and it was because he'd usually be going from country to country for formula two and in the upcoming months, formula one. but because of their family's beveravement, charles had been given permission, if he so chose to use it, to spend some time at home with his family. and after winning the feature race for f2, he decided to take some time away and spend it with his family. "that...that would be really nice actually, thanks charles," anastasia whispered, french seeming way too complicated for the girl to continue with as charles breathed out a sigh of relief  so, charles took his younger sister aside and they had a conversation. it involved tears, some laughter and every single memory the brother and sister could remember they had with their papa. 

"...anastasia, do you remember the time that papa tried to teach you how to drive the go-kart but couldn't get the kart's engine started to the point he picked it up and threw it because he got so mad?" charles giggled as anastasia nodded her head as she too started to laugh "oh...yeah, i remember that quite clearly. didn't maman get super mad at papa for it because he broke the kart and made you cry because of it?" anastasia giggled as she fiddled with the rings on her fingers

"haha, he actually didn't break it, mon ange. he did make me cry though because it was getting very loud because maman did get super mad at him for it though," charles chuckled, scratching an itch on his cheek as anastasia nodded her head, the memory slightly starting to come back

"ahh, okay, that makes sense. do you remember the time that papa freaked out when he realised he thought he had lost thuthur in the city square that he called the police and filed a missing person's report?" anastasia chuckled as charles' head flew back as he laughed as well, his head shaking

"umm, no? when did this happen?" charles chuckled as he looked shocked, how was he not told this story?

"oh, that's unfortunate because it was bloody hilarious! it must have been during a race day that was outside europe then since it was only like a couple of years ago. literally, papa had taken thuthur and i out for a nice little family day out whilst maman was working and enzo was with friends i think. and it was like in a span of three minutes that papa, myself and thuthur were walking all together and then when papa had called out for thuthur for what he wanted to eat, he didn't get a response back. and because he didn't get a response back, he freaked out and turned around to find that thuthur had just disappeared. i have to admit, it was quite frightening at the time because it was as though he had just vanished into thin air. of course, papa had made the two of us stop everything we were doing, which was what we wanted for lunch, to then begin searching the city square for thuthur. it was the second papa called for the police to file a missing person's report that i had found him...he had gotten distracted and walked into the lolly store that was out of the way near the cafe so of course, papa didn't see it. but yeah, that was the moment we thought we had lost thuthur," anastasia's chuckles faded as charles rolled his eyes with a smile on his face after some giggles, that was something that was very typical of their father

"wow, i cannot believe i missed that! i would have loved to have seen that," charles chuckled as anastasia nodded her head in agreement and she quickly looked out of her bedroom windows to notice that it had gotten quite late in the night 

charles had also noticed how late it had gotten. he slowly got up from his spot on his sister's bed and decided it was time to let his sister try to get some sleep and for him to get some as well. 

"it's getting late and it's been a long night. bonsoir anastasia, j'ai vraiment apprécié cette conversation et j'espère que vous aussi. je t'aime bébé," charles whispered, giving a quick kiss to his sister who smiled softly back goodnight anastasia, i really appreciated this chat and i hope you did too. i love you babe

"goodnight charles, i appreciated this chat as well, it was really well-needed.je t'aime aussi, charlie," anastasia whispered back, accepting the kiss from her brother before she waved him out of her room and closed the door behind him i love you too, charlie

then, finally, she released the breath she had been keeping inside of her for what felt like an eternity. 

it's been a long night, cause i took all i can take, 'til the walls shook and the windows break. it seemed as though charles' conversation with his sister anastasia worked. it seemed as though she was really engaged in the conversation of remembering their father and all the fun times they had. however, it had truly been a long night for anastasia, taking all she could until the walls in her head shook and the windows broke. charles left his sister alone, retreating back to his childhood room, thinking he had possibly saved her, yet, he didn't think to check again after that night and he fell asleep. sure, he had a tight feeling in his chest but, he'd had that feeling since the day their papa died so by this point, charles was used to that pain. managing to get up and get on with it every passing day because, if he didn't do that, he would never be able to do it again. and he didn't want that. he had to be strong since he was the second eldest of enzo, himself, anastasia and arthur. he had to be the example for his younger sister and younger brother and also be brave and take care of their mother who had lost the love of her life. 

anastasia really wasn't coping well at all. i mean, who could blame the young girl, she had truly thought that her papa was invincible, i mean, what young child doesn't? she thought her papa was recovering better and that his cancer treatment was working. why didn't it work? why didn't that treatment keep her dad alive? it was supposed to keep him alive so why didn't it? 

anastasia was suddenly conflicted with emotions and started to become mad. woah. that's scary, she wasn't one to get mad nor was she one to run down the stairs to the beer fridge. grabbing her phone from the table with a beer in her hand, her hand hovered over one specific person in her phone contacts.  i want to phone you but it's far too late, it's been a long night

her finger was hovering over her papa's contact, wanting to phone him but she couldn't. she knew she couldn't. she had waited too late. anastasia wasn't at the monaco hospital when her papa passed away peacefully in the arms of his wife, pascale, their mother. the reason why anastasia wasn't at the hospital was that she wasn't even in monaco, let alone monte-carlo. she was in hawaii for college and got the unfortunate call that their father had died a few hours later. 

why didn't anastasia call him that very same day? she would have had the chance to hear her papa's voice one last time. she would have had the chance to say that she loved her papa one last time. she would have had the chance to say all that she wanted to say before she got the call from charles that changed the course of the rest of her life as she knew it. the news that caused anastasia's and the family's world to be halted to the roughest stop ever.  cha-cha

"anastasia leclerc, décroche ce putain de téléphone, je le jure devant dieu…" anastasia leclerc, pick up the fucking phone i swear to god

"...charlie? pourquoi diable tu m'appelles ? je suis en classe à l'université en ce moment!" charlie? why in the living fuck are you calling me? i'm in class at college right now

"tu… tu ne sais pas, alors, n'est-ce pas?" you...you don't know then do you?

"tu sais quoi, charlie ? qu'est-ce qui ne va pas? est-ce que papa va bien?" know what, charlie? what's wrong? is dad okay?

"alors…donc tu n'as vraiment aucune idée de ce qui s'est passé, ana?" so...so you really have no idea what's happened then, ana?

"charles marc hervé perceval leclerc, qu'est-ce qui se passe ? arthur est paniqué et essaie de me joindre, maman et enzo ont aussi essayé mais évidemment je n'ai pas répondu parce que je suis en classe. mais clairement, ce n'est pas quelque chose de bon, alors que s'est-il passé?" charles marc herve perceval leclerc, what the fuck is going on? arthur's in a panic trying to get a hold of me, mum and enzo also tried but obviously i didn't respond because i'm in class. but clearly it isn't something good so, what's happened?

"papa est parti, anastasia…" dad's gone, anastasia

"il est parti? que veux-tu dire par parti, charles ? a-t-il aimé s'enfuir? il ne peut pas courir, il est…" he's gone? what do you mean about gone, charles? has he like, run away? he can't run he's--

"--non, pas comme ça! anastasia, papa est mort…" no, not like that! anastasia, dad's dead

"papa…papa est mort? charlie, tu dois plaisanter? je ne suis littéralement même pas à la maison et il est juste mort? pourquoi ne m'a-t-il pas appelé ? pourquoi je ne l'ai pas appelé? comment? je…je ne peux pas quitter l'école, Charlie!" dad...dad's dead? charlie, you have to be joking? i'm literally not even home and he's just dead? why didn't he ring me? why didn't i ring him? how? i...i can't just leave school, charlie!

"je sais que ce n'est pas idéal, ana mais oui, tu peux quitter l'école. enzo a atterri il y a quelques heures et est maintenant en route. l'école a déjà été prévenue, quelques instants avant que je t'appelle." i know it's not ideal, ana but yes, you can leave school. enzo landed hours ago and is now on his way. the school has been told already, just moments before i called you

"mais attends, où es-tu alors charlie? est-ce qu'enzo sait au moins où se trouve mon dortoir spécifique?" but wait, where are you then charlie? does enzo even know where my specific dorm is?

"je suis avec maman à la maison, nous passons tous les appels téléphoniques et tout le reste. et oui, enzo connaît petit, il est plutôt confiant et il prendra le meilleur soin de toi, bien sûr qu'il le fera, il l'a promis et moi aussi!" i'm with mum back home, we're doing all the phone calls and everything else. and yes, enzo knows little one, he's pretty confident and he'll take the best care of you, of course he will, he promised and so do i!

"je sais qu'enzo prendra soin de moi, charlie. et c'est bien que tu sois à la maison avec maman et arthur mais est-ce qu'ils vont bien? et ça va, charlie?" i know enzo will take care of me, charlie. and that's good that you're home with mum and arthur but are they okay? and are you okay, charlie?

"moi non plus. maman est détruite, mon petit, elle l'a tenu pendant qu'il mourait, arthur est détruit aussi. et honn��tement, je ne sais pas mais je pense que je me sentirai mieux quand toi et enzo serez à la maison" i don't either. mum's destroyed, little one, she held him as he died, arthur's wrecked as well. and quite honestly, i don't know but i think i'll feel better when you and enzo are home

"ok, je te verrai bientôt alors ? je t'aime charlie, prends soin de maman et thuthur s'il te plaît" okay, i'll see you soon then? i love you charlie, take care of mum and thuthur please

"tu le feras et je t'aime aussi anastasia. et ne t'inquiète pas, je le ferai et toi et enzo prenez soin l'un de l'autre aussi, s'il vous plaît" you will and i love you too anastasia. and don't worry, i will and you and enzo take care of each other too, please

"nous le ferons charlie. je t'aime, au revoir" we will charlie. i love you, bye

"au revoir" bye

however, she didn't care. even after that flashback. at this point, she was raging and she just wanted to see what would happen if she did ring her papa's number. would it still be connected to him? would the number now be someone else's? would that potential person pick up the phone? what would happen if anastasia just, rings her papa's phone number? 

so she did.  papa

"...hey papa, it...it's anastasia. i know this is weird but i--" 

"--i'm-i'm sorry, but who is this?" 

anastasia froze at the strange female voice on the other end of the phone. that wasn't her papa's voice at all, not even her papa's voicemail voice that included her maman's interruption. it was a young girl, she sounded like she was maybe a year or two older than anastasia herself. and the girl sounded like she had a slight southern italian accent throughout her english speech. her beloved papa's number was no longer connected to her papa.  even more frustrated and upset, anastasia screamed out, shockingly not alerting anyone else in her family and threw her phone to the floor after hanging up the stranger's voice on the other end. before she fully left her phone to charge as she walked back up to her bedroom, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small text from who she assumed was the young girl who had been given her papa's old phone number.  papa

i don't know who this is or what it is you're going through but, if you ever need someone to chat with, about anything, you can talk to me. i was given this new number because my old one got hacked by a crazy ex-boyfriend of mine. we don't even need to exchange names, we can just talk and remain strangers. i do hope you're okay and, i'm sorry that i wasn't your papa on the other end of the phone

so talk me down, talk me down, talk me down, talk me down

shortly after that phone situation, anastasia found her way back to her room and found herself falling asleep even though she would never be able to explain how. she didn't even remember changing into her pyjamas or how she slid herself into her bed. but, the next day she woke up, she had indeed gotten herself out of her clothes from the previous day and got herself into her pyjamas and then into the covers of her bed before falling asleep.  however, it was this day that the straw broke the camel's back and she couldn't deal with feeling this continuous grief all the time, every single day. she hated that she was still alive but her beloved papa wasn't. so, late at night, she decided that she'd drive to a bridge, wearing nothing but a crop top and her fluffy pyjama pants and a pair of socks.  cause we fought an endless war, 'til we forget what we were fighting for, now, we can't stop, but we can withdraw in the long night  the whole family saw what their papa and husband's cancer did to the family. they were always a strong, close-knit family but the strain it put on the family was still apparent. hence why no one seemed to notice that anastasia had gone out into the night to clearly end her life because she thought she couldn't do it without her papa alive.  as tears streamed down the young leclerc's face, the wind blowing through her hair and her face, she just sat on top of the bridge that overlooked the whole of monaco, her legs swinging against the side of the bridge that she sat on. with her phone in her hand, she contemplated ringing the number of the girl that was now connected to her papa's old number. but then, she knew she'd be told to get off the bridge and call for an ambulance. and she didn't want that, anastasia didn't want to be talked down, not really. if anything, she just wanted to have the feeling of being suicidal, to her, feeling this amount of grief was a whole new experience to her. it scared her that she was feeling this way every single day since losing her papa.   suddenly, the funeral for her papa went through her mind. she remembered that day as though it was yesterday.  anastasia sat in the front pew at a cathedral in monaco, her older brother charles on one side of her and their younger brother arthur on the other,lorenzo and pascale, on the other side of charles. she felt like she couldn't breathe, her chest felt heavy and she felt like she needed an escape route. she couldn't stay here. her heart was racing, her entire body was trembling. everyone's eyes and even some cameras outside of the church were on her and the rest of her family. she needed an out but she couldn't find one. 

charles' hand then left hers as he had gone up to the altar to say his eulogy whilst a photo slideshow of herve and his life played in the background. charles had barely started his eulogy when tears started, in a smart move, lorenzo had decided to go up alongside his younger brother to help him. and it truly was a good move because it didn't take long for the second eldest to get emotional and be in need of comfort. and it was at this point that anastasia really couldn't stay in this cathedral any longer. she couldn't deal with seeing her brother so uspet. so, she left, she got up and she left, her hand that was gripping arthur's left his grip and she left. she could tell this would break the hearts of her family, especially her maman's and charles' hearts. but, she just couldn't stomach staying in that goddamn church as she watched people she didn't even know cry and pay their respects to the man she and her brothers had known their whole lives.

it felt like an eternity when people started to filter out of the church and past the leclerc girl. giving her hugs and their condolences, she thanked each of them, some of the drivers that charles drove alongside even attending as they paid their respects as some of the very last people to leave the church. by the time the majority of the people had filtered out, there was only one person left that was obvious to anastasia that she hadn't yet seen leave. it was charles. taking a big breath in, anastasia pushed the church door open, closing it behind her and walked back to the front of the huge and holy place that had just held her papa's funeral where her brother was sitting down. his brown hair looked like a messy birds nest and as though it had been hiding away in someone's shoulder as he cried or as though he hadn't had any energy to properly style it for the funeral service at all.

softly tapping her brother's shoulder, anastasia squished to sit down next to her brother, "isn't maman waiting for you?" anastasia whispered, her voice hoarse from the crying she had spent doing in the foyer of the church privately 

charles cleared his throat, "no, she-uh, she's helping take care of thuthur alongside enzo..." charles trailed off as anastasia nodded her head

"...ahh, okay..." the brother and sister couldn't think of anything else to say since anastasia did get up and leave during charles' eulogy, though she could still hear it and, truthfully, it was the best part of the entire service

but unfortunately though, the moment anastasia did decide to get up and leave, charles managed to compose himself to look up from the floor to look at his younger sister, only to see that the very sister had up and left. anastasia knew that when charles saw that, it would have increased his grief because she had promised him that she'd be right there for him if he needed someone to focus on rather than their more than distraught mother and younger brother arthur. and, when he did look up to take comfort in his sister, she was gone but he could hear her close the door at the end of the middle aisle of the cathedral, where she had exited. 

after a few more beats of silence between the brother and sister, anastasia's shaky right hand slid across to charles' left hand. touching her brother's hand softly, she signalled to her brother that she needed his comfort and grabbed ahold of his hand. charles' heart broke and more tears that he had successfully fought off slipped down his cheeks as he immediately gripped his little sister's hand.

"charlie...i miss papa..." anastasia whimpered as charles tightened his grip on his little sister's hand

"...i miss him too, petit" charles sniffled as he then pulled his sister in for a hug and they both cried

they cried for as long as they needed to before they picked themselves up and walked out of the cathedral together.

so talk me down, talk me down, talk me down, talk me down. 

tears continued to stream down anastasia's face as she stood up on the bridge and looked down to the river and its lower floor embankment below her. she was just itching to slip and fall down. itching to just completely disintegrate and be killed instantly. she even imagined some nights that she did fall and stay asleep, of how her body would look if she did jump off of a bridge or off a hotel roof. or even the roof of her own family home that the family had been staying in since the death of their father. 

it sort of appealed to her, falling off of a building and having her body decapitated and all smashed up and bloody against the floor below. but then, she thought of the people she'd be leaving behind in the same way her papa left everyone behind. even then, she remembered that it wasn't necessarily her father's fault that he had left everyone behind. herve didn't want to die, not that she thought. her papa had no choice, his cancer had taken so much from his life that, he had no more fight left in him anymore. he was even too ill to fly over to watch charles' f2 races. but, anastasia did have a choice. and does her choice to kill herself align with her papa's death not being his choice? it didn't but, anastasia didn't think that logically. she didn't want to think logically. 

so, just as she went to jump off, she slipped and tried to grab the closest thing to her. which, strangely enough, was a broken piece of a community bench. it steadied her and stopped her from falling or anything but, she then had the thought of having a "test throw" before she would throw herself off to see what it would look like. so she did just that, throwing the piece of broken community bench off the bridge, she watched as it hit the side of the second-level embankment before it broke into teeny tiny little pieces as it then splattered into the ever so shallow river waters below. 

her eyes widened in excitement as she watched how the already broken community bench broke even more and into tinier pieces than it was before. she loved how the bench broke as it hit the edge of the embankment and then the shallow waters below that. 

she was moments from jumping and hoping for her body to end up in the same teeny tiny pieces that the community bench had been when all of a sudden, she slipped and just before she blacked out, she heard the one voice that she was hoping she wouldn't hear during her suicide attempt. charles had found her and had called the emergency services for an ambulance to take his little sister to the hospital, worried that she was going to commit suicide. and, wasn't he grateful that he actually didn't completely ignore that god-awful feeling in his chest and actually listened to it? 

the light flashed and i thought i'd died, my life passed before my eyes, it went too fast for the love i feel inside. 

charles had never been more grateful in his life until this moment where he managed getting to that goddamn bridge on time. before his sister had seriously decided to jump off of it. whilst it horrified him when she tripped and fell, hitting her head, he was just grateful he wouldn't have to see her dead and decapitated on the bottom of the bridge's embankment near the river's edge. in which he could then see the even more broken community bench that she had thrown over the edge moments before she went to throw her own self off. anastasia had concussed herself due to the fall and blacked out because when she did trip and fall, she had fallen off the first level of the bridge and onto the embankment hitting her head, cracking it open. she was so very lucky that charles had even called for the ambulance and had gone out to look for her otherwise she wouldn't be in this ambulance on the way to the princess grace hospital and it's high-rish mental health facility since it was clear that she had just attempted to kill herself.

it seemed as though anastasia's life had flashed right before her eyes. in a bright light as she blacked out after she had fallen. it had gone too fast for the love she still felt inside of her body. maybe she actually didn't want to die. maybe she just wanted to feel something. maybe she just wanted to for once, just give in to those thoughts she had been having about actually hurting herself. and she did feel something and it scared her. she never wanted to feel like this again. so, in hindsight, she was going to forever be indebted to charles for realising that she was missing and going out to look for her as well as calling an ambulance for her.  "...come on mon petit ange my little angel, we're nearly at the hospital, it's going to be okay," anastasia could just faintly hear the voice and she smiled, knowing that charles hadn't left her and was in the ambulance with her  holding his sister's hand the same way he did at their papa's funeral, charles only hoped that their papa wouldn't let anastasia stay up there. wherever he was, with him when she was still needed with charles and the rest of the family. anastasia was way too young to be taken away in this way, especially because she was struggling with the loss of their papa. all she needed was help and some clarity. she didn't need to jump off a bridge to see her papa again or to be happy again. she needed to stay alive to be happy. she needed to be talked down. 

so talk me down, talk me down, talk me down, talk me down anastasia couldn't bear to face anyone who decided to show face in her hospital room as she had been put on mental health watch for 72 hours. she was so ashamed that she even attempted to kill herself and only ended up stupidly tripping over and hitting her head. how pathetic was that? she couldn't even kill herself properly. so how on earth could she look in the eyes of the people she loved and cared about and who loved and cared about her? she just simply didn't. that was until charles had come in and gently forced her to talk to him. 

"...anastasia, i know you're not sleeping, mon ange. stop pretending and talk to me," charles spoke up, sitting in the seat that was situated next to his sister's bed not pleased with the fact that she was trying to pretend to be asleep

anastasia groaned, knowing charles wouldn't allow it and, she turned back around to face her brother, "what do we talk about, charlie? what i did is unacceptable and it's unbelievably stupid so, just tell me off for being a fucking idiot and leave me alone, alright?!" the girl slightly raised her voice as charles softly breathed out and shook his head, reaching out for his sister's hand 

"i'm not going to call you a fucking idiot or leave you alone, alright? because that's not my job to tell you that or to leave you when you're this vulnerable! the reason you did what you did was because you didn't know what else to do and, in that moment, that's the thing you thought was the correct thing to do. sure, i'm glad you tripped and got concussed because, it means i didn't have to watch my little sister fall an extra level and either drown herself in the river or watch you bleed to death in that water. but i am upset that it even had to come to this with you in the hospital," charles explained as anastasia's entire face and body relaxed as she made eye contact with her brother, sure, she was sure she looked like hell but, so did charles

"you are? you're actually glad that i'm...still here?" anastasia trailed off as charles looked at his sister as though she had five heads

"now you're being a fucking idiot *tearful laughter* what a stupid question that is, anastasia! of course i'm glad that you're still here! you're my little sister, there is no way that i'd not want you here," charles smiled as anastasia nodded her head, starting to believe her older brother piece by piece 

"i'm glad i'm here as well," anastasia whispered as she scooched closer to her older brother who smiled at her

down, down, down

anastasia felt like she was falling down and wouldn't ever be able to land on solid ground. her mind was a mess and she thought she'd never be able to unravel the mess that was her mind. she was falling, not like the epic falls from buildings like in the movies, she was falling like she was slipping and falling to her death. 

every time she closed her eyes, she'd have the same nightmare every single time. and that was her slipping off the bridge, completely missing the embankment where she actually landed and fell the full three storeys and died as she bled to death on the wet ground of the river below her. and usually in this nightmare, she'd be met with complete darkness, however this time, she was met with a white light that nearly blinded her when she stood up, only to see a figure standing still. 

confused, anastasia stood up and, with her hand covering her face, she moved towards the figure of whom was being almost covered by the light making the figure hard to make out who it was to the young leclerc.

"...hello? who are you?" anastasia questioned worriedly as she moved closer with hesitance to the figure in front of her 

the person then turned around and anastasia nearly fell to the ground. tears welled in her eyes and a smile formed on her face. the person was her father, herve leclerc. and he looked healthy. he didn't look sick at all.

"papa?" anastasia whimpered, the biggest smile on her face as the figure nodded their head, confirming to her that it was indeed her father in front of her 

"oui, anastasia, it's me, your papa," herve responded as anastasia ran over, her hand moving away from her face and in front of her as she opened her arms to hug him 

"papa!" anastasia squealed as she ran to the figure that was surprisingly solid and she could actually hug, it wasn't just a bright light hologram situation 

"hello mon petit ange, what are you doing here? you're too young to be here with me," herve scolded towards the end, a crinkled face in conjunction with his statement as anastasia turned her face to the ground 

"i...i'm sorry papa, i just, i didn't want to survive another day without you in it. i didn't know how to live without you which sounds stupid because maman's doing brilliantly, as are enzo, charlie and thuthur but, i just, i--" cutting off his daughter, herve smiled and shook his head before speaking up 

"--stop anastasia, i'm not mad nor am i disappointed. as charles explained earlier, you were only doing what you thought was the right thing to do. you thought jumping off of that bridge was the smartest idea because that's what you were being told it was. you're grieving, darling girl and it's okay to cry and feel down. but it is okay to ask your family for help. you are so lucky that charles noticed something wasn't right and noticed you had run off and went off to find you and then called the ambulance. and you are just as lucky that even though you did trip and concuss yourself, cutting your head open, you are lucky you survived and didn't fall any further than that second-level embankment. if charles and that ambulance came seconds too late, you may have just tried to get up on your own and then stumbled and fallen again due to your concussion and then, who knows. you may have fallen into that river down below and just imagine what that would have looked like for charles and those paramedics that were just seconds too late... i know i'm so glad that your brother and those paramedics weren't any later than they needed to be because i don't want to see any of my children up here with me until you guys are either my age or older, okay?" herve explained as anastasia nodded her head and realised just how lucky she truly was to have survived her suicide attempt

"okay, you won't see me again after this encounter, i promise!" anastasia joked as herve laughed as he nodded his head 

"that's good because you aren't sick like i was, darling. you are perfectly healthy and you have so much more life to give and to live for. whereas i had lived the majority of my life, i got married to the love of my life and i helped give your mother the best gifts we could have ever created and that was our children," herve smiled, holding his daughter's hand as anastasia nodded her head and smiled 

the father and daughter spent more precious time together before her father's light began to dim, causing anastasia to freak out. 

"papa what...what's going on? your light, it-it's fading!" anastasia squealed as herve chuckled as he took a breath in before speaking up again 

"it means my designated time with you is almost over and i'll be required to go back," herve smiled softly as anastasia tilted her head 

"and i'll have to wake up again?" anastasia muttered as herve nodded his head 

"yes mon petit ange, you'll have to wake up again because there are people that charles' invited in to see you who have been, no pun intended, dying to see you," herve and his daughter chuckled as the girl nodded her head in sadness 

"well, can i just ask you one last question before you leave then, papa?" anastasia questioned as she noticed the light was fading even quicker now as herve nodded his head 

"of course, you can mon ange, ask away," herve smiled as tears welled in his daughter's eyes 

"please keep us all safe? especially charlie and thuthur when they're racing. it's so scary and i don't want them to get hurt. please, watch over them..." anastasia cried as herve smiled sweetly and nodded his head 

"of course, i can mon petit. it's always been my job to make sure you kids were safe. i'm everywhere mi amor, i promise. i love you mon petit but, i have to go now. i'll see you soon..." herve trailed off as he faded away and anastasia wished she had five more minutes but was grateful she even had this opportunity 

"...i love you more, papa..." anastasia trailed off with a smile and tears down her cheeks as she waved off the light that was now gone 

"...anastasia, thuthur, max and pierre have visited, do they have permission to come in?" anastasia smiled as she woke up to see charles in front of her

nodding her head and sitting up in her bed, anastasia was grateful that her papa was correct in who had come in to visit her, "of course they have permission, charlie, it's not like they aren't strangers to me!" anastasia giggled which shocked charles, whatever that dream was that she just woke up from seemed to do something to his sister and it worked 

"okay, i was just asking to make sure," charles laughed as he opened the door to let in arthur, max and pierre

full of excitement, she managed to have enough strength to hold her arms up and hug all three teenagers. whereas the first and second days, since it was finally her last day in hospital before being discharged, she was in too much pain mixed with way too much pain medication making her unable to even hold her arms up properly.

"hello, little leclerc!" pierre cheered as he hugged the girl as anastasia chuckled at his excitement 

"hello, gasly!" anastasia teased as they released out of the hug as she then hugged arthur

arthur smiled and gave his older sister a much less gentle hug before max, similar to pierre, attacked anastasia. laughter then filled the leclerc girl's hospital room as the five just hung out together and just talked about things. 

max then asked the one question that was on everyone's lips, "...anastasia, in all seriousness, how are you feeling?" anastasia smiled with sincerity before responding 

"i'm doing a lot better, max, thanks for asking," anastasia responded with truth as that seemed to really take the lads, all four of them, by surprise 

"seriously?" charles questioned, wanting to make sure his sister wasn't putting an act up in front of their younger brother and best friends as anastasia smiled 

"i'm the most serious i've ever been in my life, charlie, i'm actually doing so much better than i was two days ago," anastasia smiled and it only seemed as though charles couldn't do anything else but believe his sister 

"that's amazing to hear, anastasia. it truly is, you deserve to be happy forever," charles whispered at the end as anastasia nodded her head 

"i know i do, that's why i stayed," anastasia smiled as she reached for her brother's hand, squeezing it when he had grabbed it 

"we're glad you stayed, all of us," arthur then spoke up as anastasia smiled over at her two brothers, pierre and max 

anastasia couldn't find anything else to say since the lads just seemed to take over for the whole time. however, it suddenly became the time that anastasia would be discharged from the hospital and allowed to go back home. so, after getting signed out by herself and charles, since he was the one to take her back home to their family home to the rest of the family, they then left. the other three lads, arthur, max and pierre, leaving an hour beforehand. 

lay your head near mine, tell me that it's all fine, love me while there's still time.  by the time the leclerc siblings returned home, it was so late at night and the only ones awake in the house that, they decided to waddle over to the couch that still had pillows and blankets all strewn over it. which showed that there was some sort of family movie night and situated themselves comfortably before turning on the tv for themselves. 

letting his sister pick the movie herself, charles sighed with contentment as he messaged maman, letting her know that both he and anastasia had returned home safely. when anastasia had finally found the perfect movie for them to watch, she sat down next to charles. 

however, she was worried she had sat way too close. so, she started to slightly move away, thinking he may need space from her. especially when it was considered that he had just spent the last seventy-two hours in the teeny hospital room with her that he may need his own space. however, charles didn't even dare let his sister move that far away from him before he pulled her closer to him.

"...what are you doing, charlie? don't you need some space?" anastasia squealed out, hoping that she didn't just wake up the entire house as charles chuckled 

shaking his head, charles spoke up, "absolutely not anastasia. lay your head near mine, it's been a long night and whilst you're out of the hospital, you still need to rest and i'd rather you fall asleep on me then on the couch," charles explained, patting his shoulder or his lap as the two places for kayeleigh to choose to fall asleep on, knowing that they'd fall asleep doing the movie and not make it upstairs to their rooms in time 

anastasia smiled at her brother as she chose her brother's lap as she then stretched herself out along the couch and snuggled close as the movie started to play in front of her. charles smiled as well as he held his sister close to him, his sister that was alive and was never going to hurt herself ever again. because this time, she knew she could ask for help anytime she felt upset over the death of their papa. knowing that she had more places to turn to rather than running to that bridge, she felt content as the fun, eccentric and colourful movie that would have for sure been a movie that their papa would have made the siblings watch as children played in front of her. 

it's been a long night. 

fin

rewriting this and reworking this for charles was so insane but i am so glad it is finally finished because i legit forgot about it so my bad homies! did not mean to forget about this rewrite but i'm just glad i thought to even go into my drafts and see what was in there because i'm glad to finally have this out. even though it seems like i'm targeting poor charles recently now that i have a new sad charles request come in that i'll start writing soon but, i'm not meaning to! but in saying that, if anyone has a request for the drivers that only have like one or two one-shots, maybe request for them because i legit don't know what to do for them lol! ok bye, i love you and now i gotta go to bed cause i have an early start tomorrow!!

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[blackberryblueberry]

M, third & fourth meeting

With M I wanted to test him out, to see if I could get acts of service from him, since I'd decided I'd been too servile in all of my other dating experiences. It was nerve-wracking, because he'd be effortlessly agreeable to doing favors for me in person, but then would never text, making me think he'd changed his mind or hadn't been truthful in person. I had to be very proactive in following up. Still things would generally always work out as agreed: he picked me up from my hometown on his drive back to the city from his hometown. We had some Indian food in my hometown, and then on the drive he played some music by his favorite artist, and when we got to my place we cuddled. I was still having what I imagined (half jokingly) to be an allergic reaction to him, since each time we had sex I'd have some kind of itchy reaction a few days later. So we didn't have sex, but I did work up the nerve to tell him about the itchy reactions, and the conversation was surprisingly easy. He was thoughtful about it, and wondered if it could have been an allergy to the condom, and he ended up recommending me this Japanese brand (Okamoto). It was really pleasant, it felt like we were just hanging out and shooting the shit, even though we were talking about sex and possible infection. He offered to take a walk with me in the park before going home, so we did that--I brought him to the Boathouse and we looked at turtles. When we got back to his car I didn't know when it would make sense to hang out again, and said I'd need to check my calendar. "I'm down for movies, or to make dinner," he said, again seeming so agreeable to seeing me again, and again not texting me at all after we parted. I was disappointed he didn't even check in about my doctor's appointment.

A week later I texted him late at night asking if he wanted to get dinner the following day, and he responded "ya sure let's do it," and suggested we drive to Queens. He picked me up and we drove to get Jamaican takeout, and then drove to the beach. As excited as I was to see him and go on a city adventure, I was nervous and despondent once I got in his car, because I think I was already crushing on him but feeling insecure about whether he liked me since he never texted. Still, he was his usual talkative and friendly self, and when I did share small bits about myself (always, I realize, about having some kind of anxiety) he would immediately say something positive and uplifting. My crush, and my hopelessness, simultaneously deepened.

I relaxed a bit more on the beach, and we talked about health stuff, some family trips he had upcoming, his father's illness and death. I learned he was a hypochondriac. We walked along the beach, and there were some stretches of silence. At the end of the beach we made out, and then we drove back along the Belt Parkway at dusk listening to music. We got to my place and he stayed until he had a work call at 10pm. We gave each other head on my couch, and when I went down on him he came quickly again. I spat it out into the bathroom sink and it was tinged pink; I was concerned, but then remembered that I'd been drinking a deep purple sorrel-ginger drink.

"So I'm good at it?" I said when I got back.

"Yeah. I think I told you last time that you were. You have like... good technique." Somehow I wished the praise were more effusive, although obviously the best praise was what had already happened: him cumming in what felt like less than two minutes of me sucking dick.

The conversation wandered onto the subject of kinks - different things he'd tried, different things I liked. He was so open to everything, even the idea of being pegged. "I'm down for anything," he said, in that open and friendly way of his that I made me feel happy and safe. I told him that someone else (someone I'd met on the apps before) had once told me that someone had come to him with the request to be praised. That was new to him. He said, "You mean like, 'Oh you're doing so good'?" When he said this he dropped into a bit of casual character, but in a way that was somehow absolutely and perfectly tuned and reader it really fucking did something to me.

Eventually I told him that I wasn't sure if he actually liked hanging out with me because he never texted, and he said he did, but he was just really busy with work. A had made essentially the same excuse to me, and I had really doubted it with A, who did not seem to have a job (unless the job was just chasing women who could also advance his social position, in which case he had many jobs). M on the other hand did seem to be working a lot. "Didn't I just see you?" he asked. "Like over the weekend--Sunday?"

"No, it was a week ago--last Friday you picked me up."

He was losing track of days, he said. He was stressed about work--he'd been laid off a couple months ago and was freelancing and also cold-emailing for more opportunities, and considering backup plans as well. He emphasized that he was really very introverted, with spurts of being extroverted, and he could go days without seeing anyone, and not notice. I asked if he was free on the day of my upcoming move, and he said he could definitely help me move. He promised that we'd see each other again soon, and patted me on the head.

That was shaping up to be our dynamic. I had gone into this new round of dating looking for signs of people who could bring me ease and take care of me, and even though he was a horrible texter, in material ways he was showing up for me where no one had in the past, and even emotionally I was somehow able to be a sad and anxious and depressed baby around him without facing rejection or judgment. But also he could not give me the kind of daily touch that I needed; he had legitimate excuses but I needed more. I'm not sure I could get this person to fall in love with me--that'd be out of my control--and even if I could, I'm not sure a relationship with him could satisfy all my needs--but I'd try very hard to make him a lifelong friend. I already liked him so much.

[wortverlust]

ngl im living for all these pet pics in your inbox, i feel like such a trendsetter ajbfoebnigowgoreb

OKAY SO–

yeah, we have some awesome people in my area, my flatmate is currently out visiting her friend she also met in the park, who's basically given her a thousand quid sofa for free cuz she wants it out her house

ON TO THE QUESTIONS

YES, most if not all dreams can be interpreted, and nearly every single imagery has some kind of symbolism. if say you dream about multiple things, then usually combining the symbolism is how i come up with my own interpretations.

multiple dreams at a time is the same as drawing a major arcana in tarot, or the same card multiple times. YOU GOTTA LISTEN. something or someone is trying to tell you something, heed the warning or listen to their advise. the moment you do that, usually the repetitive dreams stop.

well, everything has symbolism, i just happen to have a LOT of external knowledge about dragons (blame teenage me's fixation on the creatures). wyrms specifically can either come with great fortune, or a great fall from grace. depending on what the dragon wants, it can either make you day or use your desires against you. turns out it was 100% using her desires against her.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW PEOPLE FIND OUT THEIR ASTRAL SIGN, i genuinely have no clue. all she told me was that some monks in tibet told her never to get involved with someone who has any monkey (rip zeke) or dragon in them. the signs are there, like this woman has to leave this man fr, he's not good for her. ALSO SUPER TOXIC, so many red flags it's like a beach over here–

IDK WHY OR HOW SHE MET HIM ON TINDER, but set yer tinder settings to england and maybe... maybe, you could meet the squirrel

please keep taking over the world (and my heart) with drawings of levi... we need more of you in our lives.

YOU BETTER HAVE HAD A GOOD GODDAMN DAY, or i will fight the sun.

and remember: it's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits

ESSA, YOU ARE A TRENDSETTER!!! Can I say that I find your knowledge of dragons FREAKIN' COOL?! (lemme tell ya, it's way more cooler to talk about dragon's than binary trees) and here we go…now I wanna sketch a dragon…<_< fhhfdfgorhgowehf haven't drawn one in a while now ^^

AND...what?....H-hold on... I have a few dreams which I get once in a while. (3 really persistent dreams...and they're NOT cool) I DREAMED MY LEGS ARE PICKLED CUCUMBERS!!! LIKE…DID YOU EVER WALK ON PICKLED CUCUMBERS?! BC I CAN'T RECOMMEND IT?!!! ITS FREAKIN' WOBBLY?! WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?! That I can't run away from something? That I'm stuck, where I am atm? Or that have to take care of my good leg? (pheew haven't had this dream in a while tho~ hehe)

Okay…I hope ya know that I'm REALLY fighting against myself: I won't make an account on Tinder. BUT I WANT TO MEET THE SQUIRREL SO BADLY!!! ....... wait....a sec…no maybe not.... I just remember… 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'…? WHAT IF I'M A BAD NUT?! (a bad nut with pickled cucumber legs…holy sh*t !!!)

[bokutoslittlebird]

The Perfect Family

Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!reader x Beta!Akaashi

Author’s Note : If you’ve read the little drabbles and asks with the fluffy BokuAka family, then you’re in for a surprise. Those were not canon to the actual works I created, it was just something nice to write and think about. This will not start off fluffy at all. This will also include the pregnancy process, so be warned of that ; This is a sequel to my Kinktober piece, Threesome with Bokuto and Akaashi ; I’m so sorry it took for fucking ever

Warnings: Omegaverse, noncon/dubcon (explicit use of the word r*pe), gun play, choking, water torture (attempted drowning), gaslighting, manipulation, watersports (briefly, kind of), mindbreak, dumbification, pregnancy, creampie(s), asphyxiation, lactation, knotting, breeding (technically), degradation

Kōtarō’s rut had finally ended, pumping you full and fucking you into a stupor, all while Keiji made sure to have him give you a break. It was the week for you and Kōtarō to catch up, after all. You were bonded to Kōtarō and Keiji now, you were their mate, so you had to be taken care of. With the stinging pain on your shoulder from Kōtarō’s mark, you were only missing the legal document to bind you to Keiji the normal, Beta way. Keiji was currently thinking about which ring to get you, since Kōtarō had already decided on his “proposal” gift. Keiji figured you’d need time to adjust, however, as he was laying on the couch with Kōtarō’s arms wrapped around him, you missing. There was a cute show that they were watching, Keiji was sure you’d like it. You weren’t allowed out of the bedroom yet, so he would have to show it to you another time.

Once Kōtarō had been satisfied and Keiji had recovered, both got to work on making your stay permanent. You attempted to leave, but Keiji was quick to cuff you. Kōtarō held you down, forcing you to struggle until there was nothing left to do except lay there. Kōtarō had to go back to Osaka soon, so he was trying to enjoy his last few days in Tokyo.

“That was a fun show. Cute, too,” his yawning interrupted his sentence, cutting it short. Keiji nodded in response, snuggling closer to Kōtarō. The Alpha was warm and comfortable, it gave him a sense of home. “I gotta go back tomorrow, Akaashi,”

“I know, Bokuto-san,” Keiji sighs, knowing he’d have to work on their new pet by themselves. It was going to be a struggle. At the beginning of the week, you were so pliant and easily coerced into things. Now, you wouldn’t look or talk to them. Kōtarō threw a fit yesterday, screaming and crying because you weren’t the same person, you were much more distant. It’s the same when it comes to Keiji, however. You only looked at him with betrayal and sadness, even then only looking at him briefly. You exhausted yourself, but you were fighting them. Distancing yourself and giving them the silent treatment. It made Kōtarō not want to leave, you being so upset at him, but he didn’t have a choice.

Kōtarō needed to find a new place for everyone to live, of course. With the high probability of you becoming pregnant, you couldn’t be living in Tokyo, hours away from your alpha. Knowing you would be carrying his pups without him around had Kōtarō growling, Keiji gently patting his arm. Kōtarō calmed down at that, indulging in the calming scent of Keiji. Keiji has already been bonded to him, so it wouldn’t be as stressful if he wasn’t bonded — you were both his mates and therefore, you could be trusted in Keiji’s care. It was still hard to go. He didn’t want to leave with the state you were in.

“What place were you thinking about?” Keiji mused, running his finger in a pattern on Kōtarō’s arm. Just something to do as he mentally planned for the upcoming weeks. The type of house would determine how long those weeks would be.

“Some place big, but close by the gym and practice gym. Maybe traditional? I’ve always wanted to live in a traditional, zen kind of house,” Kōtarō’s eyes lit up as he talked, images and scenes of a large house full of his lovers and his children, playing volleyball in the yard. Keiji smiles at that, knowing it would be at least a month. Enough time to have you positively pregnant and to get you settled into your new role. It’d take effort, of course it would, but he could do it.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Bokuto-san,”

“Ya know, we really gotta get used to calling each other by our given names. You’re gonna be a Bokuto, aren’t’cha?”

“Well, of course I am. Just like [Y/N]. We’ll be the Bokuto family,” he sighs, closing his eyes as the name settles in his mind. The Bokuto family has a nice ring to it, he thinks.

Kōtarō spends his last night cuddling you to sleep. You want no part of it, lying stiff as a board as he presses kisses to your neck and rubs his hand over your stomach. It’s a sickening thought, the possibility of getting pregnant. If you really had been ovulating during the rut, you most likely were pregnant. It’s not like you’d know or not, you barely leave the bed to urinate. It’s disgusting to have to deal with, but even when you do get the bathe and do your business, Keiji is right next to you, ready to intervene if necessary. Although Kōtarō is often in there with you, lathering up your body as his touches become less innocent, Keiji’s stone-cold gaze forces you to not attempt anything silly.

When the morning comes, Kōtarō is desperate to keep something of yours until he can see you again. In order to keep him happy, you acquiesce to his demands and let him take your used clothes, yet to be washed. As if the lingering scent of the morning sex isn’t still clinging to his skin. You can’t smell it, nor Keiji, but you know it’s there as you watch him dress himself, tucking himself away as he rambles on about his plans for the future. Three kids for him, two for Keiji, a nice big house, just the ideal lifestyle for anyone. It’ll never happen, though. His delusions will soon shatter when you stay distant and refuse to love him or Keiji.

Keiji waves goodbye to you, saying he’ll come back when he’s done with work. He plans on taking Kōtarō to the train station and then going to work, so you’ll be stuck for the next few hours. Until dinner time, that is. After an hour, you hear a ping from your phone and reach over to look at it. You can still use your phone, of course, but any possibility of calling for help is useless. In this society, nobody would help you. Not only that, your phone is bugged and linked to Keiji’s. He knows when you unlock your phone, what you do at what time, and how long you’re on it. You’re almost positive he can shut it off if he wants to.

The noise is a message from Kōtarō, telling you he misses you already. A roll of the eyes as you lock it, setting it beside you again. You’re able to barely reach the table beside the bed, but none of the drawers. One hand is secured to the headboard, wooden and strong enough to withstand Kōtarō’s ruthless rut. You feel restless as the day has only begun, the next time you will be able to move out of the bed, if at all, will be when Keiji comes home.

The doorknob to the apartment jiggles, making you jump. Keiji should’ve gone to work, so the sudden noise was unexpected. When it finally turns, you expect to see the familiar hair of your former friend, the tousled raven hair and the broad build. Although the man has the proper stature, the hoodie covering his head and the cheap-looking mask covering his face prevent you from properly identifying him. You can’t tell if he’s smirking or not, the intense feeling that he’s giving off tells you he is. With your hand secured to the bed, you really don’t have much in the way of options. The phone is still an option, but you doubt you could get to it in time.

The man lunges towards you, spurring you to attempt to grab the phone. Your fingers brush the metal device before your arm is forcefully gripped and twisted. You scream as your body twists, attempting to lessen the pain. It’s useless, but you still try. When your mouth opens, he quickly shoves something round and hard in it, your tongue pressed against the barrel of the gun.

“Don’t move a muscle,” his voice was low and hoarse, as if he was adjusting it to hide his identity. It was still unfamiliar to you, your brain unable to register what was going on. The man easily overpowers you, using his weight to keep you pinned to the bed. Fear prickles your skin, the chill setting in deep into your bones despite the lingering warmth of the fading Summer heat. It’s a horrible feeling, frozen in fear as your mind races, unable to do anything except stay still. It’s horrible, the fact you listen to the stranger’s demands despite wishing you were dead and out of Kōtarō and Keiji’s grasps. The gun is removed from your mouth, but the knowledge of it being in his possession is enough to keep you compliant, barely acknowledging the man’s hands moving to slip under the dress you were kindly given.

To keep yourself ready and easily accessible to both Keiji and Kōtarō until they had to part, it was best to slip you into a plain and simple white sundress. It was a present from Kōtarō, a small way of saying you were his now. With the lack of panties or other undergarment, you were essentially naked to the intruder as he sat on his heels, dark eyes scanning over your form. You were shaking from the fear, the unknown, but you weren’t attempting to move or thrash about. It was so easy to take advantage of you, you already nice and wet for him, too. The slick buildup from the morning session with Kōtarō lingers, as well as the creamy substance of his seed fucked into you. Unless the intruder was an Alpha, he couldn’t do much damage, but the thought of leaving you alone without a touch, a taste, was too unbearable.

It didn’t take long for the feeling of something hard and thick to push against your folds, collecting slick and teasing, your sensitivity making you whimper at the touch. It was a sudden plunge, forcing himself deep into your cunt as he groaned, your walls clenching around him. You thought the groan sounded familiar, but there was no more time to think on it when he put his hand on your throat, effectively shutting off proper access to your lungs. Your walls tighten again around him, him finding it hard to retract his hips but thrusting back in. His pace isn’t too fast, but his thrusts are brutal as he continues to drive his cock into your sensitive and abused pussy. He’s not an Alpha, you can tell by the lack of an inflating knot, but it still remains that you’re being violated by an unknown man. The whimpers coming from your throat are all you can release, barely sucking in air to stay conscious. When your vision starts to fade, the man and the walls of the room slowly blurring together, you start to panic.

The gun is still beside you, but it’s not your concern. The bullet in the chamber can’t threaten you unless the barrel’s against your head, but the hand currently cutting off oxygen is threatening your life. Attempting to dig your nails into the fabric of the hoodie is useless, his work gloves keeping his hands from getting any marks, either. Your lungs burn from lack of air and your vision slowly fades to black, a heat and chill settling over your body at the same time as you continue to feel his body pinning you down. The brutal fucking is the only sensation you still have, the stinging of your skin as he snaps his hips to meet yours and the squelching sounds from your sloppy pussy, cum and slick spurting and coating his cock as he chases his own high. You don’t know if he finished inside, your sensations dying out as you slip into unconsciousness.

When you wake up, your lungs ache and your face feels wet. When you flutter your eyes open, you’re faced with the creamy beige walls of Keiji’s bedroom, the lamp and phone on the bedside table. A presence is beside you, a large hand gently brushing your hair. Your eyes widen as you jolt, Keiji gently shushing you as he holds you. It’s comforting, someone familiar beside you after the experience you just had. You don’t know what happened after everything went black, but the smell of Keiji’s morning coffee and his cologne calm you down, tears spilling out as your fists bunch up the fabric of his shirt.

“I had a bad feeling, so I immediately came back home. I didn’t expect you to be completely unconscious, what did you do?” He asked, oblivious to what had really transpired. It was painful to recall, the fear from before rising again as you remember the man’s stature, looming over you as he pinned you to the bed. Another fit of tears come, the droplets soaking the white of Keiji’s shirt. “Darling, you need to tell me what’s wrong. What-“

“A stranger,” a hiccup interrupted you, red and tired eyes looking to his face. He looks confused, so you need to press on. “He broke in. Violated me. He— he ra-“

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. If I had known something so horrible would happen, I wouldn’t have left you all alone. You could’ve come with me, but you’ve been so naughty, you know,” his voice is gentle, but there’s a certain chill in his voice that has your fear spiking. His hands are warm, caressing your back as he speaks. “But, you know, you cheated on Bokuto-san and I. I have to punish you,”

“I— I didn’t do it on purpose!” Why were you defending yourself? Your mind had to momentarily adjust itself, the feeling of helplessness from earlier now back. Once the cuff had released the headboard, it was nothing for Keiji to force you into the bathroom. No amount of strength you had could compare to him, nor height. He wasn’t afraid to hurt you either, almost smashing your fingers in the door frame because you wouldn’t let go. “Akaashi, stop!!”

“Akaashi? Now, we can’t have that. You should address me properly, dear,” he grips your face, smushing your cheeks together as you find yourself practically flung into the tub. It’s already full of hot water, almost scalding, as he holds your head under. Struggling once more, it’s futile. His strength far surpasses yours, stature looming over you. Under the water, his image is distorted, but the way he looks down at you feels familiar. Before that thought can continue, you feel your lungs burning as you thrash again, thoughts only focused on surviving. When your head is pulled up, you gulp air as you cough, water sputtering as you do. “You need to be punished.”

“Let me go, I didn’t do anythi-“ your head is once more under the water, nails digging into the flesh of Keiji’s arms as he holds you still. You didn’t get a good gulp of air, so you’re quickly back at the previous feeling of helplessness as your lungs burn, vision blurring. Before everything goes black, you’re once more pulled from the water. Your face is hot, either from lack of air or the heat of the bathroom and water, you’re not too sure. But Keiji is sure of one thing and that’s the way you’re clinging to him. You were digging your nails into him, squirming and attempting to leave, but now your nails were digging into his as your grip tightened around his forearm. You were clinging to him, unconsciously seeing him as your savior, as he was the one who controlled your ability to breathe, therefore your life. He could drown you if he wanted to, but Kōtarō wouldn’t like that. No, he just needed you to depend on him, change your stance on how you saw your lovers.

Keiji also couldn’t help how delicious you looked, drenched as steam rose from the water, your white dress floating around you as if you were an ethereal being. You looked angelic and untainted... an urge to corrupt you washed over him, compelling his body into the steaming water. It was a tight fit, but he managed. With his sweatpants on, it was easy for him to simply push down the waistband and pull out his cock. “Now I have to cover up that man’s scent, or do you want everyone to know you’re a whore?”

“Akaashi, enough, this isn’t any diff-“

“Are you saying I’m a rapist? That’s what you’re implying, right? If you really think that, then I’ll be that. I would never purposefully hurt you,” his words contradict his actions, his hard cock pressing into your walls as he speaks. Sensitivity still lingers, your legs twitching as he sinks down to the hilt. “You’re saying I’m the bad guy, aren’t you? Well, how about I be the bad guy? Let’s recreate the scenario,”

“Akaashi, please, stop!” You cry out, weak limbs attempting to push him off. Hot, fat tears stream down your cheeks as Keiji licks them away, kissing their trails as you continue to sob at the feeling. It was a horrible feeling, being helpless, but a part of you knew you were safe. Keiji wouldn’t let you die, the only thing that prevented you from putting more effort in. Even with the splashing water, he kept one hand on the back of your head to prevent you from going under. Keiji’s pace is always the same — slow strokes, but deep and meaningful as he rocks his hips into yours and makes sure to roll his hips. It’s a completely opposite of Kōtarō’s, brutal and relentless, but Kōtarō fils you out more. Keiji has to make sure you feel every ridge, every vein, every pulse from his cock and have it completely engraved into your mind.

When Keiji gets close, he holds you closer to him, kissing your neck as your hands grasp at the tub’s edges, mind reeling from the force of your orgasms. Your nerves are on fire, your walls constantly clamping around Keiji’s cock like a vice, all while he rides out his own high. He presses a sweet kiss to the mark on your neck, where it meets your shoulder, right where he sports a matching mark on his own skin. It’s Kōtarō’s bond, what links him to the two of you forever. With a final thrust, Keiji spills deep inside you as he kisses you deeply, forcing you to swallow his moan of pleasure as he swallows your mewls. You’re still tight around him, walls fluttering pathetically around his girth as he relishes in the way you feel, keeping his seed locked inside you.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both panting heavily, chests heaving for different reasons. “There. Now he’s gone,” a gentle kiss on your temple. With those words, a silence settles over the room. Although the stranger may be gone, in his place stands Akaashi Keiji.

The next day, Keiji is home.

“Just a precaution, dear,” he had said. “So nothing else bad will happen to you when I’m not here. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” With those words, he convinced you of his intentions. The previous day’s events had you rattled, the fear of being alone subconsciously rooted into your mind. A small whimper of Keiji’s name, his given name, had him smiling and cooing at you, taking you anywhere in the apartment you wanted to go. It was nice to finally leave the bedroom and bathroom sections, seeing the front room and kitchen, able to hear and see people outside the windows. You dare not let your eyes linger too long on the windows, covered completely with only shadows passing by, nor on the door. The door which had a recently newly installed lock, to take extra precautions. A passing thought of how it seemed to be so quickly enforced comes by, leaving as you become hyper aware of the blank gaze Keiji gives you. It’s not blank, per se. It looks blank to many bystanders, but to you, you know he’s focusing. He’s watching you and analyzing what you do. It’s a test.

A test you seem to have passed, when he calls you back for a bath. He doesn’t guide you there, no threats, just a simple “Come along,” as he walks towards the same bathroom he almost drowned and violated you in. The fear and anxiety of going back has your flight or fight response kicking in, the seemingly easy option of flinging the door open and leaving has your legs moving. But Keiji is quicker, stronger, and smarter than you. Before your fingertips can even graze the lock, your face is slammed into the floor.

“You were doing so well, too,” his feet are planted on either side of you, one moving to plant itself on your back. With a bit of force, you’re screaming as he has his heel pushing into your spine. “You deserve to be punished.”

“Fuck you, Akaashi!” You spit, squirming and wriggling to get him off. When his foot moves, you attempt to get up, but soon he drops down and fists your hair in one hand, the other pushing your cheeks together.

“I should wash that dirty mouth of yours,” he growls, shoving your face against the floor. By shoving, he essentially drops you into the floor. With a burning sensation in your nose, you feel a vaguely familiar liquid trickling out, a small red dot beneath you. He does it once more, making sure to keep his hand on your head to prevent you from getting up. “I trusted you to listen to me, [Y/N],”

“I’ll never listen to you,” you declare, hands balling into fists beside you. “I’ll never forgive you and Bokuto for what you did. I’ll never forgive or forget how you raped me, either!”

“I did no such thing. You enjoyed it, whore. You clamped around me like a vice last night, just as you probably did the stranger that violated you. Can it be consider violation if you were wet? What about when you started to enjoy it?”

“How would you know that, unless-“

“I know how much of a slut you can be, sleeping around with Alphas in high school and other Betas. You probably got off on being raped,” He sneers, putting more force in his hand, making it uncomfortable as your cheek is smushed against the floor.

“Fuck you,”

“I’ll take that as a yes. As a punishment, you won’t be leaving that bedroom for some time,” he finally lets you free, a large breath of air inhaled as you realize he was putting his weight on your lungs. “Come here,”

Wrenched from the ground, you find yourself dragged, kicking and screaming, back into the bedroom where Keiji cuffs you to the headboard. He’s huffing, but he manages to get both wrists cuffed to the headboard. Back to square one, with you refusing to acknowledge him while he tries to talk. Well, he does talk, you’re forced to listen.

When dinner time comes around, you expect some plain chicken broth or maybe even water, but instead you’re given nothing. Keiji doesn’t come in the room at all. The water running let’s you know he’s washing dishes, but where’s your meal? When his humming enters the room, you know he’s coming down. When he opens the door, in his hand lays a plate with bread crust and crumbs, along with some pocky sticks. Just two, however. Barely considered a meal. “Dinner!”

“You’re kidding me,”

“Dear, you know I don’t joke around easily. You were naughty this afternoon, so you’re going to eat my leftovers. Bread crust and some stale pocky sticks is the only thing on your menu,”

“I’ll starve instead,” a glare sent his way does frazzle him one bit, instead almost makes him... chippier. As if you’re falling for his well hidden trap. A nod and he’s gone, your only source of food with him. He won’t enter to room again until nighttime, so you’re left to wallow in your own solitude, something you used to take for granted.

When Keiji does finally come into the room, you’re excited to see him before remembering you don’t like him. Instead of taking the key and releasing your restraints to sleep, he grabs his pillow, his blanket, and his phone charger. “Where are you going?”

“Well, since you obviously hate me, I thought it’d be best that I leave you alone. After all, that is what you wanted, yes?” A small smirk is on his face as your eyes widen, thoughts running through your head as he takes his leave. Without a bid goodnight, Keiji leaves you alone in the room. With no possible entertainment except your mind, you feel uneasy. Unsteady. The world is suddenly dropping you off in an empty room with nothing and you can’t think of anything to keep yourself entertained. The television set buzzes to life outside, while the popping of popcorn fills your ears along with the melted butter smell. An urge to move flits around, but you decide it is best to not.

The next day, it’s a similar situation. Within three days of Kōtarō’s leave, you’ve found yourself craving his company more than ever. Keiji is ruthless and merciless, entering the bedroom for clothes and then leaving for work. He doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t look at you, he barely enters the room anymore. You feel your stomach grumble at the thought of food, your mouth dry from the lack of fluids in your system. A pathetic way to die, one would think. With the lack of nutrition, your body will eventually decay or fall into an unstable state. Keiji isn’t a dunce, he knows this — at least, he should. Why then, you wonder, is he allowing this? Not only are you completely attached to the bed, but you haven’t been able to get up at all, even for bathroom use. The urine has stained the sheets, turning the pristine white cotton into a grimy yellow color, the ammonia stench covering the entire bedroom. You felt like a helpless child, in dire need of your parents to come home.

In a way, that’s what it was. You were helpless and needed someone else’s help. You need Keiji’s help. You can only go so long before you end up breaking, and you’ve reached a limit. The disgusting liquid under you was the final thread, the squelching and squeezing every time your hips move to a different area to attempt to leave the spot resulting in a failed attempt. The white dress was soaked, first from the bathroom incident and now it was dyed yellow due to your own fluids. Kōtarō wouldn’t be happy with those results.

When Keiji finally comes home, you hear him. You hear the door close and a sigh. Waiting for him to enter the room is quickly disregarded as you call for him. With no hesitation, he arrives at the room, looking at you. “You called, darling?”

“Keiji, please. I’m sorry I was bad. I need you, please don’t leave me,” you cry out, pulling on the cuffs. Shushing you, he quickly attends to your wrists, red and raw from the tugging, pulling, and twisting you’ve done over the past day. Once one hand is free from the restraint, he’s happy to feel it grabbing his shoulder, a silent beg to not leave. “Kei-“

“I know, I know. I won’t hurt you,” his words calm you down, sobs turning into hiccups as he guides you off the bed. Your legs are weak, unstable from lack of use, so he bridal carries you into the bathroom, not caring about the urine. After setting you on the toilet, he strips you of your dress and starts the bath. Trusting you to not move, he leaves. Another test, to see if you’ve really shaped up after the last attempt.

Keiji stands in the bedroom, pulling the sheets off the bed and removing the pad. He puts them aside, but waits. No movement from the bathroom, not even the toilet seat squeaking or the shutting off of the water. Continuing to put the sheets and dress away, he picks out a set of panties — new and clean, a treat for being good — to go with the pastel pink sundress. It looks exactly like the other one, except the color. After getting a towel and a change of clothes himself, he leaves.

You’re still sitting on the toilet, looking at him as he enters. Perking up, you push into the hand the caresses your head, brushing the tangled hair. He stops the water, guiding you into the tub. Once you’re settled, he strips down and joins you.

“You’re not going to hurt me?” You ask, voice dull.

“Of course not. When have I ever done that?”

The next day is such an improvement, Keiji can’t help but let Kōtarō know how well you’ve adjusted. You’re compliant out of fear rather than love, but Kōtarō doesn’t know that. He’s so excited to see a picture of you cooking in the kitchen, he probably wouldn’t care. The picture doesn’t capture the longing look at the knives, the fleeting glances at the door, the rigidness of your body as Keiji wraps his arms around you. It’s small gestures, but you never move to accomplish the action. Your finger might twitch, a gulp as you see the unlocked door, but you continue on. You make the noodles, you bring the tray to Keiji, you sit in his lap and allow the arms to secure your place. The food is something you’re ever thankful for, the lack of food spurring your resilience into breaking. With a gentle blow, Keiji feeds you the ramen you dutifully prepared for the both of you all day.

You never looked at the door again. You never looked at the knives unless you were cutting something. Even with Keiji breathing down your neck, eyes focused on your hands, you didn’t twitch or move to hurt him. You went to the bathroom and didn’t complain when he joined you. Even when he had to do his little daily checkup, you didn’t complain. The first time, you mentioned it tickled and questioned what he was doing, sticking his nose between your legs as he pried them open. He just smiled and said he needed to know if you were healthy, to which your questions easily stopped. Although he occasionally swept his tongue over your still wet folds, you never told him to go away and leave you alone. Even when he went further and had put you on the bathroom’s countertop before diving between your legs once more, your fingers thread themselves through his hair as you moaned.

When the news of Kōtarō coming back reached your ears, you didn’t know how to feel. Keiji was the one to help you, give you comfort, so you didn’t feel too excited to see Kōtarō. Keiji knew this would cause problems, as Kōtarō was expecting you to be as loving to him as you were to Keiji. After an explanation of the situation, you promised to perform appropriately for Kōtarō. With a whispered threat of locking you up again, you easily complied with everything you were asked to do. When Kōtarō came through the door, he was easily able to catch you as you jumped on him. “Welcome back!”

“Aw, [Y/N]! I’m glad to be back!” He nuzzled into your neck, indulging in your scent. You could easily pretend to be in love with Kōtarō, but your scent would tell him if you were feeling off. With his superior senses, you had to be forced into a mindset where you did love Kōtarō. Threats and memories of the past had could nodding along, situating yourself into his life easily. “I missed you, a lot,”

“Well, we won’t have to be gone for so long again, right?” You ask, a pout forming. “Or are you going to leave me?”

“Oh, no! You’re gonna live with me,” he grins, a closed eye smile. Your eyes widen as the information is processing, Keiji coming from the kitchen.

“It was a surprise for you. We’ll be moving to Osaka to be close to Bokuto-san,” he’s drying a knife, one he recently finished washing, but it’s also a silent threat. Kōtarō didn’t see the horrified look on your face, but he sure did.

“O-Oh. Okay! I can’t wait, when are we.. when do we move?” Twiddling your fingers, Kōtarō wraps his arms around you once more, effectively picking you up. No hesitating, your legs wrap around his waist as he looks up at your face, love flooding his eyes.

“You’ll move in with me tomorrow. Once Akaashi’s boxed everything up, he’ll join us. Our room is all set up, and there’s lots of rooms for kids. Speaking of-!”

“Another time, Bokuto-san,” Keiji harshly whispered, Kōtarō’s eyes widening before smiling, nodding. You didn’t know what that was, but you then focused on Kōtarō moving to the couch.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving! Maybe I can have something special for dessert, if you know what I mean,” with an added eyebrow wiggle, you shyly smile and nod. It’s what Keiji told you would please Kōtarō. It’s what Keiji told you that you need to do.

The dinner itself is fine, but when you ask to use the restroom, Kōtarō points out the red splotches on your white dress. Panicking, you attempt to locate the spot as your face heats up in embarrassment. Keiji then points out the bit of blood on Kōtarō’s pants, making you think your cycle has started. At that mention, Kōtarō’s growling in anger as you seize up in fear, unsure of what to do. Keiji tells you to change while he deals with Kōtarō, you immediately obeying and going to the bedroom.

“I thought ovulating meant she would get pregnant. Why isn’t she pregnant? Were you wrong?” Kōtarō asks, still angry. He knows he scared you, your lingering scent of fear in the room and around him. He thought he could smell another scent on you, but he didn’t know what it could be.

“Bokuto-san, I know this is frustrating but it’s possible she didn’t get pregnant. However, spotting is a sign of pregnancy. It was only a few drops. If she has anymore blood leakage that gets heavy tonight, we’ll know,” Keiji is able to calm down Kōtarō, who rolls his shoulders back and lies against the back of the couch. “Do you want to change your jeans?”

“Nah, it’s barely noticeable. Plus,” a thumb runs over the denim, Kōtarō licking his lips as his eyes darken, “this is like she’s claiming me, right?”

Kōtarō does not force himself on you that evening. Instead, he just cuddles you that night. It’s a differing touch than Keiji’s, who ends up rolling to the other side of the bed in the night. Kōtarō holds you close and tightly all night, snuggling closer to you, as if it was possible, and nudging his nose in your neck. It’s sweet, you think, as he caresses you like you’re made of glass.

The next morning, Kōtarō has you properly dressed to leave with him. A set of panties, sweatpants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. It’s a casual set of clothes, but they are all you came to Keiji’s house in a week and a half ago. Kōtarō says he’ll get you better clothes once you’re settled in, but you feel uneasy as you bid goodbye to Keiji. He worries about your mental state once you’re alone with Kōtarō, but he just has to hope you’re able to seem stable enough for a day.

In Osaka, you feel like your life is beginning anew. It’s not much different from Tokyo, but as Kōtarō guides you through the streets, it becomes known that Osaka has a lot more greenery. It’s very beautiful, in your opinion. When he stops in front of an old house, you glance at him. “Our new home, sweetheart!” He cheers, kissing your cheek as he picks you up. Carrying you inside the house, you notice the security. The gate is only opened via pin entry, which the gate itself is roughly 2 meters tall. Even the door to the house requires thumbprint access, a very modern and technological touch in an older, traditional house.

He shows you to your room, which is also his room, but yours too. It has its modern touch, with the remaining aspect of futons to lay on. The cameras in the hallway also are in your view, the one in the bedroom and the hallway. Looking into each room, you notice they are containing cameras, but one room is different. “What’s this?”

“Oh? This is our nursery! So, when you have a baby, it’ll be in here,” he chirps, pointing out things in the room. Scanning the room, you notice the lack of camera secured.

“Where’s the camera?”

“What— what camera?” Rubbing the back of his neck, he fakes confusion. You see right through it.

“I noticed the other cameras. There’s not one here,”

“Oh, well, that’s because this room has baby monitors!” He gestures to the white device. A nod of understanding has the tour moving on. Showing you to the kitchen, you notice the pantry and fridge are stocked. “Would you make me dinner?”

“Of course. What do you want?”

“You, served hot and steaming in the bath,” he grins. Eyes widen as you realize what he wants, you sheepishly laughing as you acquiesce.

Kōtarō is much rougher than Keiji, you knew that, but the way he fucks you with fervor as he hasn’t seen you in almost five days is something akin to his rut. Sinking his teeth into your skin, remarking his territory as he spurs you into your first orgasm of the night. Your nails are digging into his broad shoulders, the only thing you can use to keep yourself grounded. The setting wasn’t in the bathroom, but rather the bedroom where he claimed he wanted to “seal the deal” of you coming home. Legs tighten around his waist, back arching as he continues to drive his cock into you and litter your neck with less painful marks, claiming already claimed territory. As he presses a wet, sloppy kiss against your lips, you scream as you tighten your walls, feeling his knot force its way inside you.

A warm hand rubs the side of your body as your walls convulse around him, squeezing as he pumps you full of his cum. It’s a memory to you, but it feels so warm and fulfilling, you immediately relax in his hold as he continues to pepper kisses along your body. It’s a comforting feeling, being praised and cared for, a drastic difference from the way Keiji treated you a few days ago. Well, how you think he treated you a few days ago. He said he never did it, but your body said differently. With Kōtarō’s eyes of love looking down on you, you didn’t think it mattered. That was in the past, this was the present. You felt comfortable here, that was what mattered.

When Keiji arrived with a bunch of boxes, you were told to make them lunch so they could eat when they were done. Kōtarō said he didn’t want you straining yourself after last night, so you agree to his demands. Deciding to make some udon for lunch, you get to work as they lug in the boxes. The boxes aren’t large nor heavy, but watching Kōtarō easily lift three of them with no effort, while Keiji brings in two at most with also no effort, you feel yourself get wet at the thought of them hot and sweaty afterwards. With a possible treat in mind, you work more diligently, mentally preparing yourself to ask them.

Keiji mentioned he’d be looking for another job while Kōtarō was at the gym. It would be the first time you would be alone and free to roam. You begged Keiji to not leave for too long, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt as he pried your hands off. Kōtarō gave you a sweet kiss before he left, telling you he’d try to hurry back, but you knew Keiji would get back first. Sitting in the large house, you didn’t know what to do except cook and sleep. Your phone screen lit up with a message from Kōtarō, a picture of him blowing you a kiss with a message of ‘I miss you!’ under it. You smile at that, sending back a message that you miss him, too.

Before you lock your phone, you look at the many games you have on it. There’s one game you don’t remember being on it, it looks like a tracker app. Clicking on it, it welcomes you and it shows how far along you are in.. pregnancy? First reaction is to panic, how do you know if you’re pregnant? Going into the internet app, you search up symptoms of pregnancy. One that jumps out to you is the spotting, only a little bit of blood as the sperm fertilizes the egg. It is most likely what you did on Kōtarō’s lap, the day he came to Tokyo. Another surge of panic comes as you think of your lovers, your mates. With Keiji looking for a new job and Kōtarō being busy with being a professional athlete, they don’t have time to take care of you and a baby. You decide to not tell them.

Although you decide to not tell them, the next week is excuses of your recent symptoms. You find yourself more exhausted than usual, not even getting out of bed to bid goodbye to Kōtarō and Keiji. Not only that, you end up in the bathroom as you feel sick, but only half of the times does something come up. It’s when you have another episode of morning sickness does Keiji pop the question. “Should I get a pregnancy test?”

“N-No! I’m not pregnant, just some bad sushi!” When Keiji’s grip on your arm gets tighter, you whimper. “Keiji, stop hurting me,”

“I’m not hurting you, I just need you to tell me the tru-“ the door shutting cuts him off, his attention to the door of the bathroom where Kōtarō is, panting.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? I could sense it,”

“I’m just a bit sick-“ “She’s pregnant-“ You both speak at the same time. Your eyes widen as Keiji looks at you.

“Pregnant? Now? Really?” Kōtarō is ecstatic, but you don’t take it that way.

“I’m not, I promise! I’m sorry!” You beg. Kōtarō’s mood turns sour, the anger directed towards you. Keiji stands back, but he doesn’t interfere.

“Why are you lying to me? If Keiji says you are, then you are! I know you’re lying!” He kneels on the ground and grabs your shoulders, digging his meaty fingers into the flesh. You yelp in pain, attempting to get him off. “Why are you doing this?! You were doing so well!”

“Stop, Kō-chan, stop! You’re hurting me!” A call out of his childhood nickname has his rage quelling, as you brush his hands off and rub the stinging skin. “I don’t want to be pregnant,”

“This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what we want, do you understand that?” Keiji speaks, voice low and threatening. You quickly nod your head, attempting to explain yourself.

“I- I thought that you wouldn’t want a baby because you’re both busy! I don’t- I don’t want to burden you more than I do,” with your words, the anger and rage suddenly evaporates as they understand.

“Burden us? Baby, we love you and do everything for you. You’re going to be carrying my pups and Keiji’s babies, we want this. This is all I ever hoped for,” Kōtarō coos, taking your hands and pressing a kiss to them. A fit of sobs escape as you wrap your arms around him, hiccuping into his chest. Keiji sits and smiles, knowing you have completely adjusted into the proper role.

With the news of your pregnancy, Kōtarō is able to get off a lot more to be there for you. You’re no omega, so it’s not as if he has to take off for 9 months, and Keiji is there to take care of you. Keiji takes care of any appointments you need to do, signing you into a private hospital nearby where Kōtarō’s teammate’s omega gave birth. A list of what was normal was given to you and Keiji and what would be a cause for concern, so you made sure to drill into your head about the possible problems. It was vital that you were able to give birth, being able to give Kōtarō and Keiji what they wanted all you needed to take care of yourself. Keiji prepared your meals, making sure you were eating properly even before the bump showed.

When the bump became prominent, you were glad that your wardrobe consisted of dresses. The dresses you had were all loose-fitting and easy to move around in. With the upcoming winter months, you had lots of blankets and an oversized jacket, bearing Kōtarō’s MSBY number and logo. Kōtarō couldn’t keep his hands off of you, always rubbing your bump and pinching the extra fat you were putting on. Worry over the added weight was a brief concept that quickly evaporated as Kōtarō voiced how much he loves the extra meat to fondle and love, tickling you as you giggle afterwards. Keiji couldn’t say he disagreed with Kōtarō, the added weight adding to your cuteness charm as you did the most basic and minuscule things. He could disagree with Kōtarō on the obsession with the pregnancy milk, however.

Lactation was painful, the way your boobs ached as they were full of creamy milk. Although they ache, Kōtarō encouraged you to let him drink from them. Hesitation was in the beginning, but once his lips had secured themselves on your nipple and started sucking, it was quite relaxing. The tender ache in your breasts were gone as Kōtarō drank from them, but he often had to drink from both of them due to Keiji’s aversion. He didn’t see the appeal, he rather enjoyed teasing your nipples when the sexual appetite of yours had risen, but he didn’t see the appeal in drinking the milk. Keiji did oblige Kōtarō, however, in looking into lactation cookies, which would increase milk production and could even make it taste better. It was worth a try, as it would help the children to develop as you breastfed them.

The lactation cookies Keiji made looked awful, but tasted amazing. You would have eaten all of them had it not been for Keiji stopping you. Kōtarō seemed excited, immediately begging for another go. He’d have to wait until nighttime, since he often took naps after you breastfed him during the day.

At night, you often slept completely naked, able to easily feed Kōtarō if he woke up in the middle of the night. Your sex drive had risen exponentially in your second trimester, to the point Kōtarō had to request off to take care of you. He made sure to keep his promise, stuffing you with his thick cock and plugging you up with his cum or lapping at your folds until your fluids splashed against his face. With the third trimester underway, your libido has decreased while your milk had increased, but that didn’t deter Kōtarō from getting frisky. Even as Keiji bathed away from you two, he couldn’t help but touch himself to your whines and mewls.

Kōtarō has been riding a cloud since your pregnancy came about. Even before the milk, he found it hard to resist fucking you, especially with the added sensitivity. Your breasts were larger now, bouncing with every thrusts as he tweaks the nipples, watching the cream dribble from them. He can’t help himself, really, as he goes to attach himself to one of your perky buds. When Keiji enters the room, he chuckles at the sight.

“Should we worry that there won’t be enough milk for you and the baby?” He muses, sitting on the futon next to you. Your hand grasps at his silk shirt, bringing him down to give you a kiss. Even as Kōtarō drills into you, you want more. A wet pop resounds around the room as Kōtarō laughs, groaning in your ear as he plugs you with his knot, pumping you full.

“The pup can have those bottles, and with help of those miracle cookies, we should be fine. You sure you don’t want to at least try a bit? It feels nice for her, doesn’t it, my little Beta?” He coos, pressing kisses to your cheeks as you come down from your high, walls fluttering around Kōtarō’s cock.

“It relieves some pain, I’ll admit that,” you smile at Keiji. “You can try,”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” He smiles back at you, brushing hair out of your face. Kōtarō massages your breast, holding it so Keiji can attach his lips to the nipple. His eyes focus on the creamy liquid dripping from the bud, only to become transparent as it follows gravity. When he does get a taste, he knows he’s in trouble. It’s as delicious as Kōtarō said, creamy and full that makes you want more. As he sucks with fervor, you giggle and Keiji is joined by his other lover, suckling any milk he left behind. It’s such a strange thing to happen, both grown men sucking on your chest as if they had been born only recently. With the swell of your stomach, you knew they’d have to share their milky mine.

As your due date drew near, you found yourself unable to do anything alone. Kōtarō was off completely until you delivered and Keiji was no longer looking for a job, as it was decided Kōtarō made enough for everyone to live comfortably. He knew he’d have to find another job soon, as more children were born and needed to be fed, but that was a well ways off, at least 9 more months.

What started as a normal day soon turned to chaos as preparations for delivery expedited when your water broke. The hospital had your room prepared already, but it was for your week stay as you were three days away from your date. Kōtarō was in a frenzy, unsure of what to do but desperate to do something. Keiji has to drive to the hospital, while you were doing breathing exercises with Kōtarō in the back seat. It was the birth of their first child, so even Keiji was panicking, but he was also excited.

Once settled into the room, the nurses had to check to see how far along you were dilated. Kōtarō was anxious, his scent permeating the room as he started to pace. The doctor had come in, spurring him into a fighting mentality because the doctor was another Alpha. Keiji and a nurse had to get him out of the room, with a promise he could see the children once they were born, but he would have to wait in the waiting room. Weakly calling out his name and telling him you were fine, he obliged as he left, punching the wall once as he felt his emotions boil over. Keiji was by your side, holding your hand as you squeeze it, pushing when the doctor told you to.

When the room was filled with screaming, the clock chiming as 12:15 had arrived, signaling the date of birth of your first born son. With his stubby arms and legs, you laughed as you held him, Keiji getting the honor of cutting the cord. The baby still needed to be cleaned and checked over, so the doctor and nurses took him while Keiji went to get Kōtarō. By the time Kōtarō and Keiji has come back, you were holding a small, but still big, baby boy swaddled in a thick blanket. Kōtarō immediately raced over to look over both of you, his scent out of control as his emotions mingled together. He didn’t know what to think.

“It looks like it’s yours, Kōtarō,” Keiji says, hand resting on Kōtarō’s shoulder. He smiles in response, looking at the baby’s golden eyes blinking open at him.

“Sure does, Keiji. I guess the next thing we should work on is proper marriage, right?” He watches as the baby grasps his finger, the small hand even smaller compared to his large one.

“A proper marriage, yes. The ring, the dress, the ceremony, you would like that, wouldn’t you dear?”

“Of course Keiji. Anything you want.” As you look up to him, he sees nothing but love in your eyes. He smiles, nodding in agreement.

“Well, as well as making sure the next one’s mine. We should start on that as soon as possible, don’t you think?”

[dusty-nugget]

-ˏˋ⋆ Taste Tester ⋆ˊˎ-

⋆ Xiangling x gn Reader

⋆ No pronouns used

⋆ Time to prepare for the upcoming cooking competition ⋆

   You picked up the fizzing drink sitting on your nightstand, you laughed to yourself slightly, your stomach hurting again. Love was weird, it made people do crazy things, for example your exact situation. Xiangling was an amazing chef, always whipping up new dishes and asking you to try them. Today was the day you tried one dish too many. You took a sip of the fizzing water hoping your stomach ache would be gone soon.

    Putting the drink down and falling backwards onto your bed, you wished you had a bigger appetite so you could spend all day trying Xiangling's tasty dishes. Her eyes filled with stars of passion when she cooked, laughing to yourself again you wondered if she could ever love you as much as she loved cooking. A small smile graced your features thinking about the crazy stuff she'd do to get ingredients. Sighing dreamily as you slowly fell asleep. The next day there was a knock at your door.

     You got out of bed and opened the door to an excited Xiangling. "Y/N there's a cooking competition coming up in three days so we've got to prepare!" She held a flyer in her hands smiling at you. "Then let's get to it." You answered as she cheered excitedly and started grabbing ingredients from your pantry. 

     You followed her to the spot you usually meet at, it was a nice place by the lake where she could cook peacefully. Watching Guoba and Xiangling run around the kitchen together was cute to watch, "Done." You looked up at a smiling Xiangling, surprised "how fast." Much to your surprise Xiangling lifted up the fork and fed you, she's never done that before. "So what'd ya think?"  

     It was her specialty, Wanmin Restaurant's Boiled Fish. "It's amazing Xiangling!" Her smile was the most contagious thing ever, unable to stop yourself from smiling too. "Oh! After you finish that I already have dessert ready." 

     You wondered if today would get you in the same situation as last night. Guoba followed behind Xiangling as they went and brought the treat to you. Your eyes widened. It was your favorite dessert. "Unfortunately I only made a little bit. I was kinda in a hurry this morning."

     There was only enough for you and Guoba. 

"I don't mind sharing with you Xiangling." She smiled at you again "thanks Y/N." You took a bite of the delicious treat savoring every flavor. Xiangling tilted her head slightly to the side and pressed her lips against your softly. 

    You must've been dreaming, Xiangling was kissing you. She pulled away and licked her lips. 

"That really does taste good." 

[roger-that-cap]

peace

natasha romanoff x fem!reader

summary: natasha wanted to marry you more than she wanted everything, but how was she supposed to propose to you and ask you to be hers forever when she couldn’t give you even the simplest of things?

warnings: so this is minimal angst, don’t be fooled, this is fluff, ya know the drill. this may or may not be cheesy, but i tried 

word count: 6.4k, short and sweet 

so, i listened to peace by taylor swift while i wrote this one. take that information how you wish lollll. also, not edited!

Natasha met you years ago. You were the bright eyed girl at the front counter of an ice cream shop near the tower, soft serve shop. Natasha, ever the reader of mankind, immediately knew that you were kind, patient and simply sweet. Sweeter than the vanilla cone she had treated herself to, the one that you had made yourself because your coworkers were on an extra long break that wasn’t exactly authorized. 

  You knew who she was, but you didn’t ask her for anything. No autograph, no murmuring of a catchphrase, nothing about whether or not Captain America would be into you. Natasha admired that. She loved that she saw the flash of excitement and recognition in your eyes, but that it never went further than you asking her if she wanted sprinkles. 

 That one encounter led to many more. Soon, you two were on a date, after you had been brave enough to ask if she wanted to go on a picnic in the park after she kept coming into the store. And that one date was enough for you both to know that you wanted to see each other again, and again, and again. 

You and Natasha spent two months dating each other before making it official, and it was the best decision either of you had ever made. 

You made her feel like she was needed and loved, and she made you feel like you were cherished and safe. The feeling that you got when you looked at her was just so… natural. You weren’t worried about angering her, or about messing up in front of her. She made you feel calm, and one look at her washed all the jitters out of your nerves easily. 

And in return, there was no one on the entire planet that made Natasha as happy as you did. You were the one, and it was almost over night when she realized that you were it. 

One night, she was in bed next to you after a long day of training recruits and having a briefing for an upcoming mission. She had only been in your apartment for about twenty minutes, just lying in your gentle and welcoming arms, and she was fighting the urge to nod off where she felt safest. She was tired, but she knew one thing above everything else, and it was that she wasn’t going to waste an entire night with you because she wanted to sleep. 

“You don’t have to stay awake, sprinkles.” You said to her in the dark room, your hand smoothing her hair. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day.” Maybe that’s when Natasha should have noticed. When the urge to talk to you was stronger than the drive that she had while training recruits, or when she nearly forgot that she couldn’t go home early because of how much she was just ready to. 

“I won’t be upset, you work hard,” you said softly. “You deserve some peace and quiet. Sleep, I’ve got you.” 

Natasha did a few things for the first time in a long time that night. 

One: she felt at peace enough to fall asleep immediately. 

Two: she went to sleep with the sound of someone humming in her ear. 

Three: she realized that she was completely in love with her girlfriend. 

There were plenty of times that hinted to her that she was falling in love. She looked for you or an essence of you everywhere, from seeing something the color of your eyes to looking over at your favorite brand of yogurt in the grocery store and contemplating buying it. Whenever you smiled, she couldn’t help but grin twice as big. If you laughed, she was happy. When you were upset, she wanted nothing more than to make it better, than to eliminate whatever it had been that made you feel that way. She would do anything for you. And she really believed that you would do anything for her right back. 

 Your relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was damn near it. It was the thing Natasha was most proud of, just like you were the person that Natasha was proudest of to call hers. And she wanted that. She wanted you to be hers for the rest of your life, and she wanted nothing more than to be officially yours. 

And that was why she stood in a high end jewelry store that specialized in special rings, closed for two hours from the public just for her. And Tony and Steve, who desperately wanted to tag along. 

  Tony was more of the planner and the doer. He was the one pointing out the rings that seemed pretty, the ones that looked like they would fit your style. He was the businessman, ready to negotiate price even though he could easily afford the entire store ten times over. Steve, however, was the mother hen. Hovering mostly silently, an excited buzz flowing out and touching everyone else in the vicinity. He was excited for Natasha, it was obvious, and he also wanted to make her feel as comfortable and ready as possible. 

  “That one’s pretty, isn’t it?” Tony muttered, pointing towards an intricate ring with a diamond in the middle of the studded band. “Y/N likes stuff like that.” 

“No she doesn’t,” Steve cut in, and he pointed to a ring that was quite literally the opposite of the one Tony was referring to. It was a simple ring, one with a silver band and a decently sized diamond in the middle. It was clearly an engagement ring, but it wasn’t flashy. “That one is probably closer to what she’d like.” 

Everyone in the tower knew you well. Natasha made sure that you knew her friends well when you two started to get really involved. You introduced her to your siblings and parents, and she let you meet her own family, the Avengers. Natasha remembered the day that you met everyone vividly. Everyone had loved you immediately, and she was so proud of the way that you handled yourself while being so nervous. Hell, she was always proud of you. 

  You made fast and sturdy friendships with everyone and fit in well, and that was all Natasha could ever ask for. Eventually, she started to bring you over at least once a week just to hang out with everyone, to get you familiar with every member of her found family. 

  Perhaps that was another sign that she should have taken and read. She had never introduced a significant other to the family that she cherished so much, not once before you. 

“Steve’s right,” Natasha murmured, and she heard Tony’s playful scoff. “But I have no idea when I’m going to actually do it.”

 “You don’t have a trip planned?” Tony asked incredulously. “Well, I can schedule anything you want, whenever you want. Just ask me.” 

Natasha knew exactly what Tony was referring to. He had gone above and beyond for every romantic gesture that was ever for Pepper, and Natasha knew that your relationship wasn’t like that. You didn’t need grand gestures or long trips to beaches. The both of you were happier than ever just being with each other. She knew that you would cry in the middle of a Wendy’s if she popped the question there and held her hand patiently waiting for the ring. The location mattered the least. 

“We probably won’t do a trip, that’ll make it obvious.” There was one thing that Natasha was very picky about that had to do with the whole affair, and that was surprise. She wanted you to be the most pleasantly surprised you had ever been in your life, and she wanted to watch those beautiful eyes of yours light up and start to water in the most joyous of ways. She wanted the cheesy hand-over-heart move, the hand grabbing, the excited chatter of a small gathering of random people looking. And most of all, she wanted to hear your elated yes and she wanted to slip the ring onto your ring finger, and she never wanted to see it off from that moment on. 

But that was just her. 

Natasha, Steve, and Tony spent another hour in the jewelry store. The owner was buzzing around, clearly excited for the amount of business that their presence was sure to rope in. He took a picture of them and promised not to release it until Natasha proposed, even though he was quite literally bursting at the seams to brag about it. In the end, Natasha ended up getting a pretty ring with a silver band and a nice sized diamond, simple and just your type. 

They were on their way out when Tony spotted paparazzi. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Okay, I’ll go first to lead them away.” 

“Why?” 

“If Y/N sees you on a tabloid at a ring shop with me and Steve… the surprise is up.” Tony made a clicking noise with his tongue and left without anything else to say, strolling out and indeed leading all of the people with cameras away from the shop, all of them entranced by the billionaire. 

To be safe, Natasha and Steve waited for a few more minutes before walking out and getting jumbled in with the crowd. Her grip on the bag was tight, and she was holding the box in her hand through it. So, are you excited?” 

“Not as excited as you,” she teased, but even she could hear the nerves in her voice. “I just don’t wanna ruin anything.” 

  “Please,” Steve scoffed. “Y/N is so in love with you that I forget that you two aren’t already married, honestly.” 

  Steve saying it aloud made Natasha’s heart race, even though she already knew that. That was one of the million wonderful qualities about you. She never had to ask you for validation, because you told her with everything you did. You tapped her hand three times at parties. You whispered it into her ear before you both went to sleep. You kissed her cheek or her jaw when she started to get antsy, and rubbed her back while you did it. Every touch, every kiss, every breath that the both of you took told the other that you loved them. There was no question about that. 

“So, what are you worried about? She’ll say yes. Everyone knows that.”

If only Steve knew that it was so much more than you saying a three letter word instead of a two letter one. 

They walked back in silence to the tower, comfortable silence between two friends who were both deep in their own heads even as they swiped their clearance cards and went into the elevator. 

§§

Natasha always felt bad when she lied to you, no matter how small or white the lie was. One day, it was small and for the both of you, but it still didn’t smooth the guilt. 

She had told you that she had a late night meeting, top secret, and that she would call you when you could come up in her room. “So, that’s the plan.” 

“You’re gonna pop the question of your lives in the park?” Tony asked, a brow quirked upwards. “Well, to each their own.” 

Wanda rolled her eyes. “That’s a really sweet idea, Nat. Tony, here, is just annoying.” 

“Thank you, Wanda.” Natasha said, and then turned to the billionaire. “So, what would you do, then?” 

“I would go on a crui-”

“Yeah, I’m thinking Nat wants a more casual approach,” Sam said, giving Tony a once over. “So the park would be great.” 

“I know,” she said absentmindedly, thoughts already on the next hour, where she would be on the couch in her quarters with you, watching one of your favorite shows together. 

“We’re still allowed to come, right?” Wanda asked, gently bringing Natasha out of her thoughts. 

“Of course.” That was another thing she really wanted. Her family had to see everything happen first hand, that was non negotiable. “Just lurk in the shadows, she’ll know what's happening if she sees all of you.” 

That night, she left the tower to go to your apartment rather than just have you come over and swipe your card that Tony had made you. She figured that the less people around that knew about the proposal, the less likely it was that someone was going to spoil it. 

  She wasn’t an idiot. Weddings were special to you. Hell, when you were younger, you used to want to be a wedding planner. Natasha knew that a goal in your life was to be loved by someone so much that they wanted to spend their life with you, and luckily, the both of you found that in each other. 

  “Baby,” Natasha called when she stepped through the threshold of your apartment, her ears already pricked up as she heard the television coming from the room that you had moved half of her belongings into. She smiled as she walked closer, purposely making her footfalls a little louder so that she didn’t startle you. 

  You were smiling at her when she opened the door to the bedroom, and Natasha felt her heart stutter for a second as she caught her bearings. “Hi, sprinkles. How was work?” 

She would never get tired of the sound of your voice. “It was alright.” Natasha walked over to you, and you leaned into her hand, the same one that always reached for your face and cradled your cheek, her own little greeting. “You weren’t there, so.” 

“Sadly I was doing soft serve,” you said, rolling your eyes at the customers you had encountered. “And one woman was particularly… not nice.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby.” Natasha said softly, pulling you closer. “At least now all you have to worry about is sitting down in time to catch your show.” 

“That is my only worry,” You agreed playfully. “Come sit, I’m tired. And I know you are, too.” 

§§

Natasha thought that she was going to do it as you walked through the park, on a trail that the rest of the Avengers were following you on flawlessly. She was surprised that they could keep that quiet for that long, especially Steve, with his non-stealthy physique and training. But they were doing it. In a way, it made Natasha worried out of her mind that you couldn’t feel that five people were trailing you. But she forced that part of her mind, the one that was always so overwhelmed with the need to keep you close and safe, to the back of her mind, and instead felt for the little box in her pocket. 

“Oh, do you hear that bird singing?” You asked softly, trying not to disturb the peace. She watched your eyes scan the tips of the trees, watching as a smile grew on your face and planting one of her own. “I wish I could see it.” 

“You go bird watching all the time,” Natasha mused at you, and you snorted a bit. 

“But we never really sit down and do it together,” you said after a moment, and just like that, Natasha’s excitement was dried out. Her fingers left the box in her jacket pocket, and her hand swung at her side with the other held by your hand. 

“What?” 

“We just don’t do it much, ‘s all.” Like you sensed that you had said something that changed the mood of your little stroll, you turned to look at her. “There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

But there was. There was everything wrong with that statement. Mostly because it was one hundred percent true. The two of you didn’t have any time to bird watch or stargaze like you wanted to. And it wasn’t on your end, no, it was on her’s. 

She came home late more often than not. She left early in the morning, sometimes before the sun even rose. She was sent on missions that were weeks long, sometimes even months. Sometimes, she didn’t even get to warn you or say goodbye before she had to get on a quinjet, just up and leaving and sending a text, apologizing for things she couldn’t control. 

  “Nat?” She hadn’t even realized that she stopped walking. But she had. Her arm was stretched out towards you because you hadn’t dropped her hand yet, and you closed the gap between the two of you with a look of concern on your face. “You okay?” 

“Um, yeah.” She cleared her throat and rubbed her face with her hand, blinking a few times as the familiar guilty feeling burned in her chest like acid. “Wanna keep walking?” 

For the rest of the walk, Natasha was stuck in her head. She was good at multitasking, so she indulged you and your words to the best of her ability while she thought about how terrible she felt for you. She couldn’t even take you birdwatching. And she thought that you would want to marry her? 

“Are you ready to head back, darling?” Natasha asked once the sun started to finally make its retreat, and after she felt that the others had left and were far ahead of them. They knew her just as well as you did, and they knew that it wasn’t the day that she was going to ask. 

“As long as it’s with you,” you murmured, and then you turned around to press your lips to hers in an innocent, binding kiss, and then pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Natasha said back just as sincerely, wrapping her arms around you and hugging you right in the trail, closing her eyes tight and waiting for the feet and doubt to subside. 

It didn’t. 

§§

It took two more failed attempts for Steve to finally come knocking on her door one night. The night of the third failed proposal attempt, everyone was anxious to see a ring on your finger, and everyone just wanted it to be done so that they could plan the wedding. 

 Natasha was not on the same page. 

At first, the team was confused. Natasha’s love for you never wavered. It was as certain as the sun rising and falling, as the tide coming in and going out. It was constant, and it never faltered. So her backing out of making it official, of finally tying to knot with you, confused everyone. And then, they thought about what exactly made the change in conversation.   

  Wanda was the one to crack the code. She subtly picked at Natasha’s mind during the last of the failed proposals, and when she came back out into the present, she didn’t seem surprised at all. 

  The first thing that Wanda said when they all got back to the car was, “she doesn’t think that she’s enough.” 

Doubt. 

Natasha Romanoff never doubted herself. She was the best assassin in the world, capable of literally anything that she put her mind to. She had no reason to doubt herself. Until she started to work for someone else, not just for herself.

  “What is she doubting?” Tony muttered, the exhaustion at watching one of the boldest people he knew dancing around a woman who clearly loved her to death. “Y/N is going to say yes. She would say it if Nat asked her on the toilet.” 

 “No, it’s not that,” Wanda said softly, shaking her head. “She thinks that she’s… neglecting her. That her presence isn’t often enough. She feels guilty about her job.” 

 Silence. 

That was something many of them who had relationships dealt with. The balance between domestic life and life as an Avenger was hard to achieve. Not only did the Avenger have to know when to separate things. The Avenger also had to find someone who knew what they did, what their job entailed, and that they would both have to make sacrifices.  You knew how to do those things. So what was the problem?

“Y/N takes the distance and the danger really well,” Steve stated. “So, what’s the problem?” 

Wanda shrugged. “There was… there was more. But I didn’t have enough time to really see.” 

  While the others tried to figure out what was going on the the former assassin’s brain, Natasha was back in her room, sitting and twiddling her thumbs as she thought. Her eyes kept going back to the box, resting on it very now and then before she looked away in apprehension.  

 There were three knocks on her door, way too harsh and precise to be you. Besides, you hardly ever knocked, just as she never knocked on your door. “Um,” Natasha started, and then her brows furrowed as she put the ring in a drawer just in case. “Come in.” 

Steve Rogers was standing at her door, arms crossed, a slightly disappointed look set on his face. “What’s up?” 

Natasha raised a perfect brow. “You came to my room, Cap.” She crossed her arms as well, even though they both knew that neither was on the defensive. “Are you okay?” 

“Why haven’t you done it yet?” 

Her heart dropped to her toes, but she knew how to control her facial expressions. She was sure that she would never lose that skill, no matter how old she got and how much she would start to forget things. “Done what?” 

Steve shut the door. “You haven’t proposed to her yet. Why not?” 

“The time wasn’t right.” 

“That’s a lie.” 

She wasn’t used to Rogers calling her out so fast. Typically, she was an A list liar, and the only person she failed at lying to was you. She rarely ever did that, and when she did, it was for the better. Like, when she would tell you that she would be back within a few hours knowing that it would be about two nights still. Or when she would tell you that she wasn’t hurt, knowing good and well she had been bleeding out five minutes not even two minutes before she made the call. 

The second lie that came to mind came flying out of her mouth. “I’m scared she’ll say no.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, to Natasha’s surprise and sligh humor. “She’d find a way to say yes to you even in the afterlife, Natasha. You can’t play the lying game. Not with me, not with us, and especially not with her.” 

“Why are you so worked up right now?” 

“Because you deserve happiness, and it’s right there in front of you. You’re throwing it away, for what?” 

  “I never said that I wasn’t going to propose,” the redhead defended, but Steve just put his hands on his hips. 

 “I can see it in your eyes. You’re not going to unless someone pushes you, and because Y/N can’t in this situation, then I will.” His “Captain” voice was on. “It’s much more than you being worried about something that won’t ever happen, so what’s wrong, Natasha?” 

Natasha stood there for a second, her eyes narrowed on him as her face stayed still, and her mind raced a thousand miles an hour. She pursed her lips after a few seconds and breathed in, trying to decide whether or not to spill everything to one of the people that she trusted the most in life, one of the few that she trusted with her very life itself. Her mouth started moving before she could even approve its speech. 

 “Because of who I am and what I do, I can never give her what she deserves. I can never give her the suburban life, the calm life, the one where all she has to worry about is whether or not she’ll have to go to the store to get more cheese. I can never give her that.” 

 “I have money, she’ll never have to worry about going hungry or not being able to do things, yes, but at what cost? At the cost of me leaving her by herself one day for forever because of one wrong step? At the cost of me not being there to hold her at night or wake up with her in the morning? I can’t even do simple things with her like stargazing because I don’t have time for it. I don’t have time for her, do you realize how horrible that is? How terrible I feel?” 

Whatever Steve was expecting, it surely wasn’t that. Natasha was never one to have an outburst, even with the people she was the most comfortable with. But there she was, spilling all of the feelings she had been harboring within seconds, her eyes resting on Steve’s as they both refused to look away for more than a few seconds at a time. 

  “I can never give her a calm life without worry, or without pain. She’ll have to be scared about whether or not I got shot in Siberia, or if I’m rotting somewhere at the bottom of a cliff, or if I’m a prisoner halfway across the world. All I bring to the table is worry, and all I want to give her is what she gives me every second I’m with her. Peace. I want that so badly, and she deserves it more than anything. And I can’t give it to her.” 

Steve was silent for a moment, and a singular moment turned into two. “Have you ever asked her what she wants?” 

 The question stopped Natasha’s erratic thoughts in their tracks. “What?” 

 “Natasha, she’s been with you for years now, and I’ve never heard her complain about your job. I’ve never even seen her cry about you being gone more than anyone else would. She knows what you do, and she knew that when she agreed to be your girlfriend. She wouldn’t have stayed with you if she couldn’t handle it.” 

 “How do I know she’s handling it?” 

“Ask her.” Steve said softly, like he was nudging her with his words alone. “You’ll only know if you ask her.” 

  As she drove to your apartment that night, her mind was buzzing with nerves. “Ask her,” she mocked, making her voice deeper. “Not that easy.” 

  The door was open when she got there, enough to make Natasha shout your name with anxiety in her voice, and that sound was enough to make you come poking your head out from the kitchen. 

“You alright, sprinkles?” 

Natasha could breathe again. And when she inhaled, she smelled chicken in the air. She grinned. “Perfect now,” she said, shutting the door, locking it, and walking over to you. 

§§

It hit her in bed with you that she should bring it up. You two always had conversations before bed, it didn’t matter what about. Sometimes, the conversations were as serious as a heart attack, and other times, they were about whether or not Candyland was a good game. That night, it was leaning on the more serious side. 

  “Y/N,” Natasha called softly, and you hummed in response. “Do you… are you happy? With me?” 

The soft humming that was coming from your throat cut off abruptly at the question, a question Natasha had never asked you before. To say that you were confused was an understatement. You two had almost always been on the same page, and if one of you were to be unhappy, the other would know. “Of course I am, Natasha. Why? What’s wrong?” 

 “Do you think that my job complicates things between us?”

Natasha sat up after you did, looking at her like she was in the process of growing a second head. “What?” Before she couldn’t say much else, you were talking again. “Who put that idea into your head? No, your job doesn’t put a strain on us, unless you feel something on your side?” 

  “No, no,” Natasha rushed out. “I just… I don't want you to feel like I’m neglecting you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not getting what you need from me, as a w-girlfriend.” 

 “Natasha,” your voice was soft in the night, a satisfied and sweet whisper that never failed to calm her nerves. “You give me everything I could ever ask for. You always have, and I think you always will. Is this about stargazing?” 

  “What?” 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you got weird when we were walking in the park,” you said softly, your fingers tracing little hearts on her back. “I told you that we didn’t go stargaze or bird watching together, and you got upset. Is that what this is about?” 

  She couldn’t lie to you. “Somewhat.” 

“Oh, Nat,” you said, and you pulled her closer to you, resting your head on her chest and listening to her heartbeat, steady and constant. “I don’t care about that. All I care about is you.” 

 “Do you even see enough of me?” 

“Your job does not affect me whatsoever,” you answered. “I knew who you were and what you did when I asked you to go to that picnic with me, remember? I knew exactly what you did, and I knew around how much I could or could not be seeing you. I knew everything. So, why would I back out now after all these years? And why would I leave you?” 

  You had no idea how soothing your words were to Natasha in that moment. To you, it was just reassurance, affirmative words. To her, it was everything. It was the solution to all of her worries regarding the ring that was in her dresser back at the Tower. 

  “The point is, I could wait up for you to get home until four in the morning and make dinner for you after a long mission every day for the rest of my life, if you wanted me to.” The tracing of hearts never stopped on Natasha’s skin, but her breathing surely did for a second. “Because, what’s losing a few days compared to sharing a lifetime?” 

  Natasha smiled as the fear washed out of her system like it had never been there. More or less, you had just confessed to her that you wanted to be with her for a lifetime, and that for that lifetime, you didn’t mind any of the things that she was worried about. She was going to do it.  

§§

  After a short chat with the team, Natasha was finally ready. Like they could all tell that it was the day, they gave her a serious pep talk and Tony even muttered his premature congratulations, even though Wanda insisted that saying it before was a form of bad luck. 

 The plan was set. She was going to get you from work, pretend like you were going to go to dinner, and then take you stargazing. And then, she was going to pop the question. And hopefully, most likely, you were going to say “yes”. 

 When her car rolled up to the windows of your store while you were cleaning, you laughed. “Hi, Nat! What’s up?” 

 “Just here to pick you up,” she said with a smile, and your grinned at her. 

  “Alright, give me fifteen.” 

By the time you had gotten home, gotten dressed and were both seated in the car, Natasha’s hands were sweaty, and the weight of the little box was somehow heavier than anything Natasha had ever carried before. Her leg was bouncing up and down in the driver’s seat, and she hoped that you paid no mind to it. 

 “It’s pretty tonight,” you mused, and she nodded.  

“Yep, very clear.” And it was pure luck. She thanked all the gods that were ever worshipped that it was a clear night. “You can see everything.” 

“Yeah, you can.” 

“Do you… do you wanna go look at the stars?” She asked, and you turned your head to the side to look at her, a spark in your eyes that had just caught flame. 

  “You didn’t reserve anything, right?” 

Natasha had forgotten about the fake dinner already, her eager mind already onto the next stage. “Oh? No. I didn’t.” 

 “Then, we should ditch the food and do that. I’ll make you dinner after.”

 When Natasha parked on the side of the road, it was empty. It was emptier than it usually was at night, and the closest street lights were off. It made it much easier to see the stars. You were the first one to sit down on the dry grass, and you patted the spot beside you, urging Natasha to sit down with you. The second she did, you laid down and sighed, eyes on the sky. 

After a few moments of holding hands with eyes to the stars, roaming the dark blue sky in silence, you quietly began to speak. “It’s so pretty,” you murmured. “I haven’t done this in forever, and I hardly remember what it was like, but I can’t imagine that any other time could have been better than a time with you.” 

  Natasha turned her head into your neck, resting it there like she always did. “I love you,” she whispered, and you shivered at the intensity laced between the three words, the sincerity warming your heart. “I love you so much.” 

  “And I love you,” you responded, just as genuinely. You tapped her hand three times with your pointer finger, saying it twice. “More than I love the stars.” 

You two stayed there for hours, just watching the sky and ignoring the dull hunger pains that kept leaving and coming back. You spent a little time pointing out constellations, and Natasha told you how to navigate using the stars. Eventually, it was time to leave, and Natasha reached her hand out to you once she stood up. 

Natasha slowly walked you towards the car, but you didn’t notice how out of character it was for her to walk without a sense of urgency in the moment. She knew that you couldn’t hear their footsteps, but she could. They were soft and familiar, trying not to alert you of their presence, and they were succeeding. Natasha cleared her throat softly and swallowed her fears.

“Y/N,” she started, and you furrowed your brows at the usage of your name. “Do you remember how we first met?” 

You stopped walking, your back towards the approaching people. “Of course I do,” you responded, a smile on your face as you reminisced. “You ordered a cone with no sprinkles, what a weirdo.” 

 “Is it weird for me to say that I knew?” 

���Knew what?” 

“I knew that you were going to be a part of my life somehow. Whether it was going to be a friendship, a relationship, or even just an acquaintanceship, I didn’t know. But I knew you’d be around.” 

“That’s so sweet, Tasha.” Your bottom lip poked out and you went in to hug her, closing your eyes as you held her tight and then pulled away. “I think I knew after our third date.” 

Natasha cracked a smile, even though she felt like she was going to throw up. “Coney Island?” 

“Coney Island,” you confirmed, eyes glimmering under the starlight. Natasha was about to get lost in them, well on her way, before she shook her head and cleared her throat again, checking behind you discreetly to make sure that everyone was hiding before she turned you both sideways, so that your side profiles were visible to the others. 

“But… you have the most beautiful soul that I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. You're everything I could ever dream of asking for, and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. You’re my day and night, my high tide and low tide, and you’re the only person I’ll ever admit that I need. Because it’s true. You give me a peace that I never hoped to ever receive from anything, and I love you even more for that. You are just… you’re the one for me. And I…” she swallowed as her eyes tore away from yours, and she wiped her sweaty palms on her jacket. “I’m sorry I’m no good at speeches, but I...”

   She reached into both pockets at the same time and pulled the box out in a swift movement, and before you even knew what she had done, she was on one knee right in front of you. A strangled noise came from your throat, a gasp and a sigh all the same, and then you put one hand over your mouth. 

 Natasha’s eyes were watering, and so were yours. “I would be the luckiest woman in the world, the most privileged and honored person in the entire universe, if you let me marry you.” 

 There was utter silence for a second besides your harsh and surprised breathing. Then, a gasp left your mouth. “Natasha!” You shrieked, a hand still over your mouth as the tears ran down your face, reflecting the joy you felt on the inside. Your emotions roared and rushed inside of you, like a furious river of elation. You blinked rapidly, but you were so happy that your eyes didn’t even get that familiar burning feeling that came with the tears. 

“Is that even a fucking question?” You bent down to her level and your lips met hers, passionately and full of love and relief. Neither of you noticed the clapping and cheers after being so immersed in each other. 

 Natasha pulled away, a shit-eating grin on her face as she started to say something to you, right when you noticed everyone else around you. “Wait, baby, let me put the-”

“Have you been here the whole time?” You shouted towards the rest of the team, who were all watching with proud and excited expressions, and Wanda nodded. 

  “Most of the time,” she grinned, and you wiped the tears from your face, only to see the one and only Tony Stark recording you and Natasha, who was still on one knee in front of you, holding one of your hands. 

  “Can I?” Natasha asked from her kneeling position, gesturing towards the ring, and you nodded excitedly. She slipped it on your left ring finger, and you yanked her up with such excitement that she was sure that one of her bones popped, but she didn’t care. She kissed you again, a sweet and meaningful kiss, before she hugged you tightly. 

 “Thank you.” 

You would have been confused if you weren’t on a high.  You were going to get married. To Natasha. You were going to have forever with her, like you always wanted. “For what?” 

She kissed the shell of your ear softly, and then your jaw and cheek, right where you always kissed her. “For everything, darling.” You leaned back into her, your face in her neck, and she made brief eye contact with her friends, who were all looking at the display of affection with soft eyes and even more tender hearts. She closed her eyes as she felt your heart beating against her chest, savoring the feeling of being so close to the woman that she loved unconditionally, her soon-to-be wife. “For everything.” 

****

hey guys! hope y’all liked this one, i wrote it in two hours, and then thought about deleting it, but here she stands. if you liked it, feel free to like and reblog! comments are also widely appreciated, i love those! also, i wanna make friends up here so feel free to blow up my messages! hope you have a great day/night 💕

[thismaydestroyme]

Little Did I know Pt. 2

summary: in this short story, harry is famous, and he moved into a town during the summer to relax and potentially write some new songs for his upcoming album. i included some song lyrics from different amazing artists, and i pretended that harry and y/n wrote it.

author’s note: i wrote the beginning of this two months ago me being lazy i picked up where i left off because i’m too lazy to read through this. so if there’s any major fuck ups then…. i did warn you that i’m incompetent

word count: 3165

“I’m a SLAVE FOR YOU!” Y/N shouts out, and little did you know Harry was front and center watching your trainwreck of a performance. 

Harry did a whole french inhale without breaking eye contact with you. “I really wanna dance tonight with you.” Y/N hears Brittany playing in the background which you pause the music, to see what Harry would say about your little ‘performance.’ 

“Really? A slave? don’t you think it’s pretty dramatic don’t ya think?” Harry says, raising one of his eyebrows. You know he’s just playing around, but you coudn’t help feeling embarrassed how he fucking witnessed… that. You don't want Harry to know that you’re embarrassed, so you did the next best thing. 

“That fucking snake was huge. Did you know she was holding an Albino Burmese Python? I bet MTV wasn’t expecting that. Do you think MTV got filthy rich from that performance? Everyone tuned in for that performance and till this day it’s still the most talked about.” You ramble and spew out random information you bet Harry couldn’t care two shit about.” Harry has a smirk on his face, you bet he was enjoying you looking like a damn idiot. 

You start profusely apologizing until Harry interrupts you, “Do you want to come over?” He says all nonchalantly and walks away without you even agreeing. You’re all stunned and weren't able to even say one single word or even move your two feet. Harry doesn’t need to turn around to see you not moving, “C’mon weirdo, don’t act all shy with me now.” He threw back. 

“Fuck.” You whisper, but your feet finally start to move and your feet are heading straight to Harry. 

Harry turned his head and started to smirk, but he kept walking which had you feeling some nerves building up in your stomach. You’re not scared per se, just you’re going to Harry Styles house. This is normal. This is fine. This is just a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

Cool. 

When you finally get to his entrance Harry is already inside and he disappears somewhere because you don’t see him. You hesitantly walk inside and shut the door behind you. When you turn around you couldn’t help, but notice the disarray this house is covered in. Your mouth gape opened, but you immediately brought your hands to cover up how shocked you are. You couldn’t help but gawk at Harry’s place. There’s a big pink couch in the center of the room which is covered in boxes and clothes. There’s a TV on the floor which doesn’t seem to be plugged in because you don’t see it even plugged in. You try not to be too judgy because he did just move in, so what do you expect?  Harry having his life all sorted out in a span of a couple of weeks? 

You almost missed the nice white fluffy carpet that’s underneath the couch. Even though Harry’s place is a disaster, you can envision what Harry is planning on doing when he has his stuff all situated. In the back of your mind you hope he might even invite you back if he does a ‘welcoming party.’

Before you could even investigate more Harry walks back in with two bottles of water in his hand. He’s already drinking out of one of them, so he handed the one that hasn’t been opened to you. You reach your hands over to grab it. 

“This isn’t safe for the environment.” You states while unscrewing the cap. 

“Well.. you belting out to Britney is an endangerment to our society, so I guess we both got the short end of the sticks.” 

You immediately start drinking your water because you didn’t have your next rebuttal. You start scanning the room and hoping it’ll have your heartbeat settle down because you can feel it through your chest. Harry moves from his spot and starts taking boxes off the couch and to make some room for the both of you. He had to take down three boxes, so you could both sit comfortably. 

Harry walks over to you, but you freeze. Harry was pleased knowing he had you all flustered. It was one of Harry’s turn ons. Harry sits and brings his arms draping on the back of the couch which would have you being in his arm if you decide to sit right there. A couple of seconds of you contemplating you walk towards Harry and hesitantly sit down. 

“I’m not going to bite.” he whispers in your left ear. Feeling his breath in your ear made you slightly clench your thighs together, hoping Harry doesn’t notice. But knowing your track record he probably did notice.

You try to come up with a conversation starter that hopefully doesn't hold all the spotlight on you. You look down at her close water bottle and scrambling for something in her head. 

“Now you’re shy. The last time I checked up you were coming for my head after that  mishap with your dog earlier.” 

“You deserved it. You were attacking Cosmo, so yeah. I was in fact coming for your ass.” You glance your eyes to Harry. You’re overly protected over Cosmo. Cosmo is your life.

Harry gave you a smirk. He couldn’t help but to admire your bluntness. He barely comes across people who lit a fire inside of him. They always try to please him because he is a celebrity, and people just want to please him- which he doesn’t mind, but he does wish they sometime bites back. Having you in his presence he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, little did he know, he wants to get to know you more. 

“What do you do, Y/N besides piercing people’s eardrums and being a dog mom.” 

“Ummm.. that’s a loaded fucking question. But you being Harry fuckin’ Styles I guess I have to come up with something to make myself more interesting and less… chaotic. Well I’m a 21 years old who doesn’t have anything to offer to this world. I live my life accepting I’ll probably be working at Newbury Comics. And on top of that I love music, but I’ll be considered unqualified because I have no talents, and all I could do is muster up some mediocre lyrics that I have stored in my notes app.” 

Harry didn’t break any eye contact when you were summarizing your sad life. That created a pit in your stomach because you never experienced anything that could ever compare to Harry’s tense gaze. 

Harry never encountered anyone in the span of meeting them baring their skin to him. He couldn’t help, but feel some sort of pride knowing he created a space for Y/N to be able to let your hair down and express herself in full detail. He feels more drawn to you because he knows what you’re feeling. The unknown is a scary thing to feel, but you’re doing that with grace without you even realizing it. Just accepting reality is the biggest thing to acknowledge, and you’re doing just that. 

“What do you have on your notes? Could you even help me write my next album.” Harry shrug glances his eyes away from you. 

You feel a surge of worries entering her body. You don't know what’s going on, and you don't like it. “What?! You barely know me. My so-called ‘lyrics’ could be shitty and cliche. What are you getting out of this? My humiliation?” You don't like being taken as a joke, but that’s all  you could come up with this peculiar interaction. Harry sees a naive little girl. 

“You’re pretty,” Harry says. And that’s all he said. He got up and walked out the room. You're left on the couch alone, and not understanding what he just said. Just a few minutes ago he asked for your help, and now just a few seconds ago he said you’re pretty. What kind of fuckery is this?!

You immediately got up and walked to whatever room you could find Harry in. It wasn’t that hard because Harry is in the kitchen. 

“Harry! I need you to explain. Talk to me, please.” You say while running her hands down your face. You thanked yourself for not wearing any makeup.

“Uh, you beg. I like that Y/N,” Harry chuckles and closes his fridge door. 

“Well…. I do find you attractive and I see a potential in you. I might be wrong or I might be right. There’s nothing wrong with finding out and seeing what you have.” Harry says. Harry isn’t afraid to look people in the eyes, but you sure do. You’re debating if you should  take this risk. Harry did say there’s nothing wrong with finding it out. 

“Fine. I will take that jump with you.” You say unsurely, but you have some faith in him and a little bit in yourself. 

“Good. Now can you stop being tense and enjoy yourself. You’re in fact talking to the one and only Harry Styles.” 

“Shut up, doofus.” 

One month Later

After Harry made the deal with you a month ago,  you guys have been surprisingly working together quite nicely. You guys wrote one complete song, and that song is now called, “Dirty Little Secret.” You can’t wait to hear Harry sing that song with his band because you’re pretty sure it will fit the band theme for his upcoming album. Harry doesn’t want to limit himself, but he does have an idea to make his third album mostly rock. 

Harry didn’t expect you to be a fuckin’ genious. Watching you in the corner jotting down lines in your beat up notebook with a pen in your hand made you start feeling someway. You always appreciate the art seeing people enjoy what they do, but Y/N is truly gifted because she has no experience with producing music. One long night two weeks ago you guys were sleep deprived because there was a week where you guys would stay up all night to write and you would stop when you saw the sunrise. Y/N found her love in music because of her father. He was a huge factor that made her who she is today. There was substance in her when she would talk about the accent in a song, how she would bounce that off with the bar while you would play the instruments. Y/N is truly a force to be reckoned with and you couldn’t help but wonder how it would be like to have her on tour with you. 

Y/N never felt more alive after her father passed. It’s like Harry woken something inside of her. You never thought you would experiment with music with Harry Styles, the artist for this generation. You’re not going to lie that you would watched all of his interviews and he would talk about when he write songs he has no boundaries, and it’s crazy he upheld that ideology because Harry made sure you know that there’s no right or wrong way, the only way is to play around and see how it goes. 

“I’m going to get some water. Do you want some?” You ask Harry dropping your notebook on the coffee table that’s covered in rolled up papers and a lot of take out boxes.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He says. You nod at him, and you got up to grab two cups of ice water for you both. 

Your notebook page flipped to a new page and Harry couldn’t help but notice to see “Bubblegum Bitch” written in all caps. Harry got intrigued, so he happily kicked the table so the book could fall, so his excuse could be, “Y/N it fell.” 

Harry kicked the coffee table with his big ass feet and the notebook happily splat on the floor. Harry reached for it and started flipping pages to see that title again, and it took him a couple of tries to find it. 

“Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll

Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all

Candy bear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored

I'm the girl you'd die for”

Harry couldn’t help but not try to read all the lyrics. He wants to digest it all, but he knew Y/N could walk in any second. He couldn’t help but make a small gasp when he skimmed to the part of the song that had him falling on his knees 

“I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch.” 

“Harry, what are you doing?” Y/N says timidly. On the outside Y/N is calm and cool and collective, but on the inside you’re shaking and screaming. Your songs are attended only to you, not for other eyes to see. You’re still not confident with your writing abilities when it comes to songs for yourself, but knowing your idol probably read more than one line of your song is having you want the ground to swallow you up. 

“I’m not going to tiptoe around you and pretend Y/N. Bubblegum Bitch is amazing, fuck maybe fucking brillant Y/N. Shit.” Harry says he looks at you but goes back down to your notebook flipping pages after pages. 

You’re stuck where you’re standing. Feeling the condensation of two cups of water you’re currently holding is the only concept you’re able to maintain. 

Did Harry say that he likes your songs? Did he say brilliant? You’re not able to speak, all you’re able to do is walk up to the coffee table, drop the cups down and grab your notebook from Harry's grabby hands and collect your belongings. This is too much. You feel too much. You simply can’t right now. 

Harry sees you picking up your stuff and shoving your notebook and pens in your purse you bring every time you visit him. Harry couldn’t help, but feel bad that he could possibly make you feel uncomfortable. 

Harry stands up and starts walking up to where you are putting the last thing in your bag, “Y/N I’m sorry if me going through your stuff made you angry, but I couldn't help it Y/N. What I read was amazing, you’re amazing.” Harry hurrys out his words because he felt if he didn’t say it fast enough you would vanish. 

You’re trying to hold back your tears because it’s getting too much for you. The last time somebody read your stuff was your father, and right now you feel like you’re betraying the intimate moments you had with him. He was the one you would share your songs first with him. Now that he’s gone, you couldn’t put yourself out there to have someone else read it. You turn back around and you try to give a smile to Harry. 

“It’s okay, I- I just have to go. I’m sorry. We can talk later.” You push past Harry to make it to the front door, but you feel someone hand on your wrist so you immediately stop. 

“Y/N, I can’t have you leave, when I know that you’re not okay. Can you please talk to me? Please?” There’s a hint of sadness in Harry. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave him without having the answer he’s yearning for. 

You turn around and there’s Harry. His green eyes are pleading with yours, and you couldn’t help, but do what Harry is asking you to do. 

“Okay, I don’t want pity. Okay? Tell me you understand.” You ask Harry because the last thing you want from him is sympathy. 

“I promise Y/N. Would you mind if we sit down?” You nod your head and he walks you back with his hand in your hand. You both couldn’t help but feel some sort of palse running inside you both while holding each other's hands. It’s something both of you guys can’t simply forget. 

You got to the couch and you both sat down, no longer holding hands. You adjust yourself so you can face him. “Okay. My father died a couple of years ago and he was the only one I let read my stuff first. After he passed I never showed anyone my stuff because it would feel like I’m replacing him. I’m not mad that you read my stuff- I was just surprised, and I couldn’t help it but feel sadness creeping over me. Once again, I’m not angry at you, I’m just adjusting to a new milestone I just crossed without me not realizing it.” You say, and you’re hoping Harry doesn’t say, “Oh I’m sorry”  because you’re sorry to. 

“Well, I’m not sorry for your loss,” Harry says and you couldn’t help, but smile and laugh. “but I’m not sorry that I read it. You have something Y/N and I know you told me you haven’t had any experience in music industry, but fuck that. You have passion and I feel that every time we write something together in the past month, I don’t think I'll be able to forget about you when the summer is over.” Harry says. There was so much sincerity in what he just said.  

You thought it was all one sided because you felt so much being with Harry. You felt you were finally seeing a rainbow you hadn’t seen in a very long time. Harry brings so much out of you that you. Harry was always there when you were scared to take the first step. Him being there with you made it less scary because he was there every step of the way.

Harry didn’t expect he would’ve met someone this summer who would make such an impact on him. Harry thought he would do a lot of hooks up, go to parties and write for the entirety of the summer. But the universe had something planned for him. He met Y/N. He didn’t want to tell Y/N he that he found his first and only love, but he didn’t want to scare her. She could probably feel the same way or she only saw him as a friend but neither of them were ready for that big leap of faith. Even Y/N knew Harry is someone she couldn’t live without because he brings something out of you that you never felt in your entire life and that was courage and faith. 

Y/N met her faith. Only time could tell if faith would lead Harry and Y/N the soulmate they both were looking for.

“Harry, I don’t think I could possibly forget about you.” Y/N whisper because you felt if you used your normal voice the bubble you guys created would shatter within seconds.

Faith is a silly thing because faith could have you longing for something that’s impossible to grasp or faith could have you leaving you vulnerable, but that vulnerability could unlock something you never dreamt was even possible. 

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Wed 7 Apr ‘21

Louis left Tulum and went to Mexico City, and we got airport pics from both ends: the gathered fans were told by his bodyguard that they should keep their distance but that yes, pictures would be allowed. Thank you Louis! We got to see him a little for the first time in so long, in videos of him walking by (and getting ready to walk by) and blurry pics of him with his guitar, and Oli and Charlie- I’m excited to someday see the footage of whatever they’re working on. But for now, finally some proper pictures of the long long hair, or at least the below the hat part, all flippy and like...LONG! It’s on his SHOULDERS! Early pics had some interesting shadows around an elbow, prompting a flurry of NeW TaTtoO?? excitement, but when more pics were posted we could see that no, his elbow remains the same, false alarm. Once that tattoo kerfuffle died down the interest refocused on his shirt, which featured- a whole damn pile of skulls!

Louis went through a long phase of wearing skull shirts a while back, and the fact that it was during a period of a lot of very pointed t-shirt messages (and that he kept doing it more than ever despite knowing what we were reading into it) seemed to reinforce the theory that he did in fact mean things by it, and seeing him say yes to fan photos while wearing this shirt for the occasion… well! WELCOME BACK public Louis, we MISSED YOU! Yesterday’s shirt was for the band Obituary- is the band name a nod at the fact that Syco, generally considered to be the main target of previous skull shirts, is now dead and gone (rest in pieces assholes:))? Is Louis drawing attention to the livestream that band did a few days ago for their album ‘The End Complete’, and if so, is that also about Syco or about… something else? Inconclusive, but if we were meant to find their song “End It Now”, that can truly only be about one thing!! Am I to believe that SBB himself, Mr “I like to draw the fans’ attention to the lyrics of things” just, whoopsy, missed that! I mean, you would think every band on earth has lyrics about “ending it“ with the number of times he’s made that mistake, damn… he just never learns. Poor Louis, gosh how embarrassing! Lol. Anyway, I’ve seen people wondering lately what will happen when all the fans that have joined us in this time of lockdown and of no real contact with Louis will react when their version of Louis has to compete with the real one- and him barely being back at all but immediately reminding people that he is not a dad FFS feels like an excellent beginning, this should be good! BUCKLE IN friends! The real Louis is sooo much more fun than the boring made up one, just get ready to enjoy the chaotic energy and trying to keep up with him….

Oh also Louis liked a Snuts tweet about being underdogs as they fight to get the release week UK #1 for their new album, and a charity says they reached out to Louis AND LOTTIE to play in their celeb footie match PLEASE, HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE? Come on Tomlinsons, say yes!

Liam has a big interview in Glamour to promote his BAFTAS performance! If *I* were doing the piece I would have really gone hard on the Two Liams angle of the performance (in which Liam will be accompanied by a hologram of himself) but alas they are boring and only interviewed one of him- maybe the part where he says “you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person” sort of counts? The “that's always something I've really struggled with” makes it not so fun though, but that’s a Liam interview for ya; worrisome and makes you want to hug him a lot. “I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away,“ he says, and today is no exception. We catch up on the time since last we heard from him, when he told us he was going to take some well-earned time off and try to focus on writing new music; he continues to have difficulty with downtime unfortunately. Oh Liam, I do wish it were easier for you to take a break! He says, “I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit... not being able to go anywhere, not being able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself” and “for me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards.” He goes on to say “so, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today,” and I wish I believed him, but that’s Liam’s way, to be like oh I need to add something upbeat and end on a cheerful note! So IDK. He also talks about drinking too much, at the beginning of lockdown especially, and how he’s dealt with it by getting back to working out and dieting. There’s nothing there that he hasn’t talked about before (he’s publicly addressed both his struggles with alcohol dependency and has talked a lot about his disordered eating though he hasn’t himself named it that) but after publication Glamour edited the piece to omit the part about his drinking-- I’m guessing the augmented reality app people didn’t feel it fit their ideal image (sigh). What that leaves is him saying how nice it was to be able to eat what he wanted during lockdown but that having the boundaries and rules in place of restricting his food again has made him feel better about himself, which if you ask me is still plenty distressing. Oh Liam :( <I’ve never wanted to hug someone so bad/ Spongebob meme> On a slightly more cheerful note, he tells us he feels supported and heard by a manager that he’s close to, and by Louis, and that those relationships are good for him (the interviewer does ask about Bear, but financee Maya is not mentioned even once in this article). The piece ends with a startling response to a comment about his upcoming performance: “I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.”

Niall posted about his Masters (golf) fantasy league and he was seen out and about! He was photographed in London driving a car the size of a house and on the street carrying one of his dozens of different reusable water bottles, with his hair floppy and down- is it a new haircut or just unstyled??- and shorts and little roundish shades. Hello Neil! There was a rumored sighting of Harry in London as well but no pics and like we know he’s there anyway so… shrug. And iHeart award nominations are up, and they’re pitting louies against harries, ouch. Will it be nasty (well when isn’t it even without this voted category, sigh), or will the louies simply steamroller everyone as per usual? Only time will tell, but if so harries can console themselves with their likely wins in the Male Artist of the Year, Best Lyrics (Adore You), and Song of the Year (WS) categories.

[luvidzy]

☆ genre: fluff

☆ pairing: kim seungmin x reader

☆ summary: an anonymous person is writing poetry and you are determined to get to the bottom of it

☆ word count: 3.2k

You honestly hadn’t even noticed at first. You weren’t really into the school paper, so you didn’t read it very often unless Felix decided there was something interesting you just had to know. Which is exactly how you found out about your secret admirer posting about you in the paper.

“Y/N, you have to see this!” Felix’s voice rang out as he slid into the seat next to you. You looked up, less than thrilled to be interrupted in the middle of trying to study for your Greek Classics test tomorrow, but you couldn’t stop yourself from setting your pencil down at Felix’s excited expression.

“Yes, Felix?” You asked, trying to hide the exasperation in your voice. If Felix noticed, he didn’t let him affect his excitement as he pulled the school paper out from under his arm, unrolled it and smacked it down on the table in front of you.

Your eyes scanned the front page, trying to figure out what Felix was so eager to show you, but nothing stood out. There was an article about the softball team, an article about an upcoming concert by 3racha, and a column that was talking about new things to do on campus. Nothing particularly interesting, and also nothing that you hadn’t seen before in the paper.

“So I was looking at the paper, and something caught my eyes. Come on, you have to read it,” Felix urged, his eyes sparkling as his freckles crinkled beside his eyes. You rested your forearms on the table, signalling to him that you were listening. Felix began to flip through the pages, before he landed on one of the latter ones. 

His finger pointed out a small section of writing in the upper right hand corner. You squinted slightly, bringing the paper closer so you could look at the words. From what you could tell it, was a small three line poem that anyone would overlook if you weren’t paying attention. Lucky enough for you, Lee Felix always paid attention to the paper.

she sits so sweetly

sweater too big on her back

perfect to me

Eyes wondering over the black lettering, you felt your eyebrows furrow. There was no signature and not even a hint of who the poem might be addressed to. It seemed so out of place, yet your curiosity was growing every second.

“Does anyone know who wrote it?” You asked, turning to Felix. The blonde shook his head, pouting slightly.

“I asked Seungmin, but he said that they had just found it on one of the desks in an envelope with a note asking them to publish it,” Felix explained. You sighed, before sliding the paper away from you in favor of getting back to your studying.

“Well, keep me updated. Maybe next time we’ll know who this mysterious poet is, or maybe who he’s writing to.” Felix nodded eagerly, before pulling the paper back towards him and opening it up to read while you continued to study.

Of course, the poem wasn’t dropped there as Felix brought it up to your friends again that night as you hung out in Chan and Changbin’s apartment.

“It’s romantic, for sure. But I feel like it would be even more romantic if the person who it was for actually KNEW it was for them, ya know?” Jisung said as he threw a cheeto in the air and tried to catch it in his mouth. You stifled a giggle behind your hand as the cheeto flew back down and hit him in the face, causing him to pout.

“Maybe they wanted to test the waters? See if the person responded well before they actually did anything that might give them away?” Jeongin suggested, before stuffing some M&Ms into his mouth. Seungmin shrugged as he leaned back into his chair.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see if we get any more envelopes.” You sighed, smiling slightly as you leaned back into the couch you were sitting on.

“How nice it must be to have someone write poetry about you. I don’t think anyone would ever do that for me,” you exclaimed dramatically, throwing a hand onto your forehead for effect. Minho snorted as he threw a piece of candy at you, causing you to shriek slightly.

“Maybe, if you weren’t such a dramatic bitch, people would actually fall for you.” You stuck your tongue out at the older male, crossing your arms with a pout on your face. He was probably right, but there was no need for him to be rude about it.

The next time the mystery poet wrote in the paper, you found out about it way too late at night. Your phone began to buzz incessently as you tried to focus on your paper, to no avail. Finally you gave in and picked up the phone.

“What?”

“Y/N, where are you right now?” Felix’s voice was rushed and enthusastic, and it took all your strength not to groan. How could he be so energetic this late at night, when all you wanted to be doing was sleeping instead of studying for you stupid exam. Seungmin, who had been joining you in your study nights the past few days, looked up with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m at the library with Seungmin. Why?” You replied, rolling your eyes to Seungmin who just snickered. He knew from personal experience that the only person who would give you this reaction so late at night was Felix.

“There was another poem posted in the newspaper! I was gonna tell you earlier but I couldn’t get a hold of you. Stay where you are, I’m on my way.” Felix rushed, before hanging up. You took the phone away from your ear, before looking to Seungmin with an accusing glare.

“There was another poem and you didn’t think to tell me?” You exclaimed, cringing as the librarian shushed you.

“I didn’t think you cared that much. Besides, why would I take away Felix’s gossip? What kind of friend would I be if I did that?” Seungmin chuckled at the pointed glare you sent his way, before you turned back to your paper to try and do some work before Felix got there.

You managed only another 2 paragraphs before Felix came bustling through the doors, trying to be as quiet and fast as possible. He finally crashed into the chair beside you, spreading the paper out before you. You shut your laptop as your eyes scanned the page, trying to find any sight of the poem.

“It’s a good one this time. You’ll have to see it,” Felix said, his grin more of a smirk as he flipped to the next page and pointed his finger at the lines of text that had been imprinted on the page. Your eyes immediately trained on it, scanning over the words in every line like a woman who’s seeing for the first time.

The girl in room 204

with the world on her shoulder

but a smile on her face.

I wish I could be your Atlas

and hold the sky up long enough

for you to take a breath and relax.

But despite the circumstances,

despite her exhaustion from

sleepless nights in the library,

her eyes glow as she talks

even if it is about the most mundane things.

I can’t help but stare and smile,

wondering if she will ever notice

that she means everything to me

and that I would gladly be condemned

to a lifetime of suffering if it meant 

taking your pain for just a little while.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the poem, before you noticed the small print that was sitting underneath the beautiful lines.

-to the girl in room 204 of Levantar Hall

Your heart began to pound and you could practically feel the blood rushing to your face as you reread the tiny tag, the realization only setting in after the 5th time looking it over.

“Holy shit! Felix, these poems are addressed to me!” You exclaimed, turning to look at the bright smile of your best friend. He nodded eagerly as you turned back to the poem, rereading it with this newfound knowledge.

“And you said no one would ever write poetry for you,” Felix teased. You hit him lightly, before taking the paper and shoving it into your bag. You grabbed your laptop, slung your bag over your shoulder, before looking at the boys you were sitting with.

“Sorry gentleman, I have some sleuthing to do,” you said, before rushing out of the library, completely ignorant of the adoration in Seungmin’s eyes as he watched you go.

You spent the next few days waking up extra early and camping out outside of the newspaper office to try and catch the mystery person in action of dropping off their envelope, but you were always met with disappointment as Seungmin came in every morning with no sign of the admirer.

You were a bit bummed about it until you decided to read this week's newspaper and came upon a startling revelation. 

Another poem. 

so close yet so far

she would never know my love

it’s not my nature

You immediately called Felix, who agreed to meet up with you at the nearest cafe to discuss the poem. It wasn’t until you were sitting at a booth, coffees sitting in front of you that a revelation decided to hit you.

“Felix! I’m an idiot!”

“I mean, I know. But how so this time?” Felix said, causing you to throw a playful glare his way. You looked at the poem, before pointing at the poem in the paper and reading the words aloud.

“Okay?” Felix questioned, an eyebrow raised. You rolled your eyes at the thought of having to explain it all to Felix.

“I know whoever this is, Felix! The words insinuate it’s someone that I know, and someone who is not very affectionate with me!” You said proudly, happy that you had managed to narrow the list down. Felix nodded in understanding.

“So, that leaves only a few people, right? Cause all of your friends are pretty affectionate, outside of Minho and Seungmin, right?” Felix said, and you nodded, before freezing. Minho…. or Seungmin. You didn’t want to immediately jump to any conclusions, but you hadn’t seen anyone outside of the newspaper room outside of Seungmin and, being honest, you kind of wanted it to be him. You had had a crush on Kim Seungmin since freshman year of college and it would be like something out of a novel if it turned out to be him.

“Earth to Y/N! What’s the plan now?” Felix brought you from your daydream as you took a sip of the coffee in front of you. You furrowed your brows in thoughts, before her eyes lit up.

“I know! Felix, I just need to mention something incredibly specific to each of them! Any good writer would take advantage of the creative inspiration and incorporate it into their poem!” you announced, quite proud of yourself for coming up with the idea. Felix thought for a moment before he nodded.

“That’s so stupid, it might just work.” You pouted at his comment, before immediately looking at your phone, seeing the time, and stumbling to get up and rush out.

“I completely forgot I need to meet up with Minho for our project! Phase 1 starts right now!” You rushed out of the coffee shop, Felix laughing behind you as you nearly ran into the door due to your excitement.

True to your plan, while with Minho you brought up the extremely intricate topic of Andromeda and Perseus, a tale which you had learned about a month ago in your Greek Mythology class. You loved the story and thought it was incredibly interesting and a great muse if Minho turned out to be the secret admirer in the paper.

You didn’t see Seungmin for a few days, but that gave you time to think of the perfect topic to bring up to him. You wanted him to be your secret poet so badly and you wanted to make sure you gave him something that would definitely end up inspiring the next poem. It finally hit you as you sat with Seungmin and Jeongin in one of your University’s common areas.

“We learned about the story of Icarus in my Greek class the other day,” you started, making sure to look at Seungmin and see if he was listening to you. Sure enough he perked up, looking up to show you that he was taking in the words that were coming from your lips.

“Essentially, Icarus was the son of this great inventor, Daedalus, and they were both imprisoned in a tower. Daedalus made them 2 sets of wings to escape the tower, but they were made out of feathers and wax. When they were flying to escape, Icarus decided to not heed his fathers words and flew too close to the sun. The wax in his wings melted and he drowned. It’s a sad story, but it tells a tale of curiosity and how being too curious can lead to your downfall,” you explained, noticing how Seungmin had stopped writing as you told your story. Jeongin stared at you with a questioning glance.

“Why would Icarus fly so high if he knew he would die?”

“Well, I guess that depends on how you look at it. Some say he was just foolish and brash, but I personally like to think Icarus knew what would happen to him, but decided that the ability to be free and live in the excitement for even a moment was worth the consequences he knew would befall him.” Jeongin nodded, obviously thinking about the story. Satisfied with your work, you looked back down at your work, not noticing how Seungmin had flipped to a blank page in his notebook and was jotting down what seemed to be lines of poetry.

It was a few more weeks until another poem was posted, and you were starting to be concerned that the admirer had given up and decided to stop. That was until Felix, as expected, rushed into your dorm one day, completely scaring you out of your concentrated state.

“The poem was posted! And you’ll never believe it, but your plan actually worked!” Your stomach flip flopped as you realized that the moment of truth was about to be upon you. The minute you read the poem that laid in the ink of the school newspaper, you would know who was your secret admirer. Felix handed it to you and as your eyes went to the words, you silently prayed that it was the man you so desperately wanted it to be. 

I am Icarus,

and she is the sun.

I don’t dare get to close,

even if her gleam,

bright against my rickety feathers,

warms me from the inside out.

I can never tell her how I feel,

I can never say a word,

but if I could I’d tell her she is golden to me.

That she is the heavens,

and I am just a mortal man 

begging for her to let me in,

begging for her to let me love her, 

begging for her to let me praise her,

because God knows that if I could 

I would never stop spilling words of devotion to her.

I am Icarus,

and she is the sun.

My faux wings melt like candle wax

as I force myself closer to her,

because I’d rather fall out of her atmosphere,

then never experience her at all.

Your mouth dropped open as you finished reading the carefully crafted poem, your cheeks heating up and your mind running a mile a minute. It was Seungmin. Your secret admirer was Seungmin.

You rushed out of your dorm, the paper abandoned on your bed as Felix called after you, but you didn’t have any time to stop and explain. You glanced at your phone, realizing that if you made haste, you could catch Seungmin alone in the newsroom before he left for the day. You weaved through the halls of the journalism building, the only thing on your mind getting to the boy who had written some of the most beautiful words about you.

Seungmin was standing outside of the door, locking up the room for the day, when you barrelled down the hallways and basically tackled him into a hug. He grunted as your arms wrapped around him and he stood there for a moment, completely unsure of what to do in this situation. You didn’t give him any time to react though, pulling back and staring at him with a smile rivalling the sun.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Tell you what?” Seungmin asked, genuinely confused. He had a long day and you weren’t making any sense right now. You rolled your eyes playfully, before looking at him with a smirk.

“That you were Icarus and I was the sun.” Seungmin’s mouth dropped open as you repeated the words he had written back to you. His usually sharp mind was completely blank as he tried to figure out what to say in response to you, but once again you didn’t give him time to think as you pulled him in for another hug.

This time, Seungmin allowed himself to wrap his arms around you in return and give you a squeeze. Months of pining after you and he was finally doing what he had fantasized about so many times. You nuzzled yourself into his neck, giggling as he let out a soft gasp, completely unused to the physical affection you were showing him.

“So, does this mean the poems worked?” Seungmin joked, his cheeks red as you pulled back again. You let out a laugh, nodding happily as you kept your arms slung around his neck.

“Of course! To be honest, I’ve had a crush on you for a while now. I was really glad when I found out it was you,” you said, staring at him sheepishly. He smiled softly at you, before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“What gave it away though?” He asked. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You really think I just threw all that philosophical stuff about Icarus out there for nothing? I was hoping you’d pick up the clue and use it for some creative inspiration,” you said. Seungmin nodded, feigning a look of impressiveness.

“That’s pretty smart for you.” You punched him lightly in the arm, eliciting a chuckle from the boy as he grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers together, leading you down the hallway.

“So, does this mean your poems are going to stop?” you asked, unable to hide the pout in your voice. Seungmin smiled a little bit, giddy that you liked his poems so much.

“I mean, at least the public poems. But I’ll write you all the poems you want in private. But they will be for your eyes only. Can’t let anyone know that I went soft for you,” he said jokingly. You let out a laugh, squeezing his hand as he laughed along with you.

Honestly, you didn’t mind if the poems were public or private. It was more than enough for you that Seungmin was holding your hand right now, speaking words of love that held more meaning than any poem about Icarus ever could.

[uwuwriting]

Bad day for the pros w/ Bakugou, Shinsou and Todoroki

Request: May I ask for some headcanons of pro hero Bakugou, pro hero Shinso and pro hero Shoto, they had a very very bad day at work, some heavy stuff happened and it was their fault, but fear not! y/n is here to save the day with love, good cooking and cuddles to be their hero. (Fem reader if possible)- anonymous 

I haven’t written for Shinsou in a while, same goes for Bakugou. Shoto is baby, I can never go for too long without writing for him. My midterms are coming up so I won’t be posting next week at all, I’m stressed and depressed and whenever I think that in June I’ll be taking my university entrance exams I wanna wretch. So yeah life is going great. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules 

warnings: tired babies, fluff, some angst, self doubt.

Bakugou Katsuki

-People really have no chill and poor baby is barely keeping it together. 

-He’s minutes away from committing mass murder and man slaughter.

-It’s common knowledge that he has no patience whatsoever and people today seemed to be testing his control. 

-But alas finally this awful day was over and he could go back to your shared apartment and relax, eat something and sleep. 

-Stepping into the apartment he dropped his duffel bag with a loud thud letting out a sigh as he slowly peeled off his jacket and slipped into his slippers. 

- “Katsu?”

-Your sweet voice rang through the halls, your head peeking out from the corner eyes landing on his slumped shoulders and tense features.

-Wordlessly you gently grabbed his hand and guided him into your bedroom. 

-Passing him a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie you pushed him into the bathroom where the tub was already filled with steaming hot water. 

- “Dinner is almost ready, take your bath and I’ll be waiting.” 

-Giving him one last kiss on the lips you exited the bathroom. 

-Almost 20 minutes later he came into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around your waist as you stirred the soup. 

- “Bad day baby?” 

-He only answered with a grunt as he buried his face in the crook of your neck nuzzling his nose in your hair. 

-Mumbling something under his breath you let out a chuckle as you gave him a plate and guided him to the living room couch. 

-Settling down next to him you kissed him again before digging in. 

-Soon enough you were cuddling on the couch, his head on your chest and your hands intertwined. 

-You’re running your fingers through his spiky hair, smoothing down the knots as he goes on and on about his awful day. 

-People really were pushing his buttons today.

- “You wanna go to bed then?”

- “But it’s early for you.”

-Shrugging you got up taking him with you. 

-Once in bed you cuddled again with you being the big spoon since your mans needs some well deserved comfort.

-“No matter how bad your day is I’ll always be here for you.” 

- “I know shitty woman.”

- “Awww I love you too.” 

Shinsou Hitoshi

-He was tired of people doubting his motives. 

-Really it was getting old.

-The mocking and the lingering fear even after five years in the hero industry. 

-His agency had booked another meet and greet so they could do some damage control with the hate Hitoshi was getting and of course he couldn’t bring you along. 

-He was kinda jealous of your day off. 

-Jealous because he wished he could spend time with you and Mochi rather than deal with random strangers changing sidewalks during his patrol. 

-He was exhausted as he stepped into your shared apartment that night, Mochi sprawled on the hallway carpet waiting for his other owner. 

-Awaiting for his belly rubs with open paws, Mochi ignored the dark aura his master was emanating , or he just chose to ignore it. 

- “Didn’t Y/N give you belly rubs? I bet you have been taking my place all day mister.” 

- “You know he can’t replace you, love.” 

-He looked up only to be met with your dazzling smile and bright eyes although he could see the faint signs of sleepiness clinging to your eyelids.

-He could feel your eyes inspecting him and soon enough he would be kissed and pushed towards the bathroom for a much needed shower because you would see how tired and drained he was. 

-He could never get away. 

-It was a power you had since high school and try as he might he could never hide his fatigue. 

-Before he knew it he was up on his feet, capture tool placed on the hanger near the door and slippers on his feet, a kiss on each cheek and one lingering one on the lips. 

-Soon he was soaking in the tub with you behind him massaging his scalp with that special lavender shampoo while humming a soft tune. 

-It always amazed him how you could calm him without using words and if he was being honest he wanted to keep it that way, the silence was always nice and he loved basking in your presence but today he really needed to be reassured. 

- “Why do you stay with me?” 

-Your movements stilled at his words and he could feel your eyes widening. 

- “It’s bad publicity for you, you’ve been held back on hero ratings because people believe that you are conspiring with me in some master plan.” he sighed before continuing leaving you no space to speak. “You could have anyone you want. It would make your life 100 times easier if I wasn’t in it.” 

-You would have never guessed that those thoughts were running through his head when he walked through the door moments earlier. 

-Hugging him closely to your chest you finally spoke. 

- “I fell in love with you and you alone. I would never leave you because some pompous asshats keep saying that you are a villain. Hero rankings can go suck it for all I care along with anyone who wants to call you a monster.” Turning around so now you were straddling his lap you cupped his cheeks connecting your foreheads. “I love you with all my heart ‘Toshi, don’t ever forget it.” 

-You might be a witch putting him under a spell with your sweet words.

-He believed you and with that he relaxed in your grip, hugging you like his life depended on it because in his eyes, it did. 

Todoroki Shoto

-He couldn’t even count how many times he was told he looked like his father today. 

-He couldn’t begin to describe how gut wrenching those comments were.

-One would believe that being compared to the retired n.1 would be a big fit for an upcoming hero but not for Shoto. 

-The first thought that always runs through his head when those words are heard is his mother. 

-The fear in her eyes and how much she hated his left side, to the point of scarring him for life. 

-He begins to wonder if you too look at him with such disgust and hatred from time to time. 

-He knew of your dislike towards his father since you two were in high school and he finally shared his past with you. 

-This undying dislike carried on into your adult life even after multiple family dinners and warm, friendly exchanges with Endeavor. 

-Did you also think he was like his father? 

-Did you see Endeavor when he walked inside your shared apartment at night?

-He got home before you or at least that's what he remembers.

-You found him with his head resting in his hands and back pressed against the hallway’s wall when you returned from your patrol. 

-At first you thought that he was hurt but after he didn’t answer to your fifth call of his name you knew it was more of a mental struggle. 

-Crouching down to his level you slowly pried his hands from his face, giving him a smile once his eyes came into view. 

-Cupping his cheeks, you brushed your fingers over his scar once, twice before leaning in and giving him a little peck on the nose, then on his forehead, then on each cheek, on his scar and last on his lips.

- “Sho my love, what’s wrong?” 

-Your hand was now running through his hair, untangling the soft locks of white as your other still lay on his other cheek, your thumb making small smooth circles on his scar. 

- “Do you see me as Endeavor?” 

-Taking in a sharp breath you stopped your ministrations for a moment before shuffling closer to him and raising his chin so he would finally meet your eyes. 

- “I see Shoto when I look at you. I see the shy boy who wouldn’t sit next to me during movie night in our first year so he wouldn’t make me uncomfortable. I see the boy who overcame his fears and used his quirk. I see the pro hero who has saved hundreds of lives in the three years he has been in the industry. I see the man I’m in love with. So no, I don’t see Endeavor.” 

-He looked at you then, really looked at you. 

-You were smiling at him, one of your sweet as honey smiles while your eyes almost sparkled as they were locked with his. 

-In one swift movement he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you flush to his chest a thousand I love you’s leaving his lips as he kissed senseless. 

- “Now would you like some takeout soba from that place you like or homemade soba with my lovely cooking.” 

- “I wanna actually eat so takeout.” 

- *le gasp*

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