#AND FUCKEN THEN DEAR GODS THIS DUDE

[steampunkedparm]

bluh 7.30 rn and i need to go to bed but how can i go to sleep when i just had that experience at the bus stop fhfjfh

[strangerficsforeddie]

Eddie Munson x reader: Rebuilding the Shire: Part 3

“So um… do you mind me asking what grade you’re in?” Eddie asked, his confident demeanor slowly drifting at the sudden resort to small talk. You deflect, “I feel like that should’ve been asked before you asked me to ditch with you, big boy.” There was that laugh again, almost like a symphony but not quite as confident, or maybe that was a projection. He rolls his eyes and shoots you a look that tells you to cut the shit, you puff the joint and pass it back to him. “Senior… well more like senior 2 point oh… the Oh stands for ‘oh my god, how could you take English again, what are you an idiot’ if you're my father…” you stumble out, more weed than you and a little bit of nerve. Man, you really need to quit. “Anyway, this is my second year of senior year.” 

There was silence for a second as Eddie starts fiddling with the roach before he passes it back to you. “Idk, (y/n), you’re a freak. Taking English twice? Repeating senior year twice? Novice work, truly.” He stands up in a rush, his hair moving in the wind like a flag flying tall, and, for a second, your paranoia swears he’s judging you. “you see, this is going to be my third and final year.” There's a smile on his face when he says this, and for a second you, too,  feel hopeful. “It’ll be your final year too, we can go up to that lousy old dude of your dad and tell him, ‘Fucken passed English bitch!” The statement is a confident voice like no other, something sweet and yet firm. You finish the jay, crunch it on the heel of your shoe, and stuff it in your bag, “Alright Big man, let's get to that English class.” you smile, he laughs as he sticks out his hand to help you up. 

Now it was your turn to blush, you feel a wave of warmth flood through your face and suddenly it was harder to talk. You shake away that feeling with a laugh as he lifts you up verbosely, “on your feet my dear boy, onward we must go to slay the medieval wonders that lie before us, ghouls and vampiric bats lie the halls, two will enter, and one will die.” 

You laugh and roll your eyes, “I see someone has been playing too much Dungeons and Dragons.” You lightly brush his shoulder, letting go of his hand, and for a second, wishing you could reverse time. Nonetheless, you walk into the school with a new level of confidence, and maybe that is because you had a new friend with you. Friend… hmm, weird… was Eddie even a friend? That was a thought for future you and you really didn’t know him well enough to analyze that dynamic yet. The back doors of the school grew closer, “meet me after school?” Eddie asks as he leans over, and a part of you couldn’t help and focus on his confusing homemade shirt. “uh sure?” 

you wonder why? 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

I ✊🏻 need ✊🏻 to ✊🏻 speak ✊🏻 my ✊🏻 mind.

It's about Edward Cullen (I'm talking about the book one - in my opinion, Eclipse movie Edward is pretty reasonable at times and he can speak his FUCKEN mind.)

Let's be honest for a second here. When I finished New Moon, I had this funny feeling that it's about to go down. And not in the good way. And Lord behold, I wasn't completely wrong.

I am sorry, but if you think that Eclipse movie Jake is BAD, you haven't met Eclipse book Edward yet.

You can't expect me to love a melodramatic, compulsive liar who manipulates the main character, just because she's into him??

In the first two chapters, I've read through around three conversations between Bella and him and dear fucking Lord, I had to put the book away every five minutes just because Edweirdo irritates so damn much.

I get what he's trying to do... But fuck me, he's doing it in the worst ways imaginable. Edward keeps Bella in the dark the whole time, instead of informing her about Victoria (WHO WAS THERE THROUGH THE ENTIRETY OF NEW MOON AND JAKE PROTECTED BELLS, LEMME REMIND YOU, BOYS), Edweirdo just tells Charlie he and Bella are going to Florida (when Bells specifically asked Edward to keep his fucking mouth shut because she and Charlie had just have a big argument) which causes Bella another argument with her head just after he told she can freely move in Forks and FORBIDS BELLA FROM SEEING JACOB.

LET THEM TALK IT OUT, HOE, STOP IT. IF THEY'D TALK, THEY MIGHT NOT BE SO PISSY FOR SO LONG. IS IT ABOUT THE WEREWOLVES OR ABOUT YOUR FEAR REGARDING JACOB ROMANCING BELLA, HUH?

SIT YO BITCH ASS DOWN AND PRETEND IT'S NEW MOON, I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU BREATHE, BLINK AND GOD FORBID YOU FROM SPEAKING-

Anyway, I'm only at the fifth chapter, dudes. :) Expect some ranting about Edwin in the future (and I think Jacob might be a fuck ass in the book too, I don't remember it honestly). @missdictatorme

[awordwasthebeginning]

thoughts while watching Das blaue Licht (2010):

MC is wannabe Max Riemelt

awful hairdo, Princess, it makes your hair look thinner

The king feeding his servant one of those chocolate pralinés is...not straight

is that Veronica Ferres? I think she was in one of those-OH MY GOD THAT IS VERONICA FERRES

(source: KiKa)

“Na mach schon, zieh dein Hemd aus.” - that’s not the witch speaking, that’s Sibylle Slättberg

Didn’t know Nutella was a cure for bajonet wounds

HELL YES to female solidarity

Is Prince Philip really just rude or is he a bit dense too? War fanboy. Also not straight. (I mean, look at her. She’s so kind. How can you not at least be polite to her?)

Oh, come on. The blue light looks like a lava lamp.

Christian Tramitz has always dreamed of playing Mephisto, hasn’t he.

Or Hamlet. Put the skull away!

*child steals the light* ah, there it is, the fuckening.

oh wait no. the child will probably help him later on

“bring me the most valuable thing the king has” ohhhhhhohoho here we go.

(it’s his daughter btw)

i was right about her hair

that...is not moonlight, it’s just very blue-tinted

awwww, bonding over flowers and nature

What does the king expect to find in his daughter’s room? Bloody sheets? Drugs?

Aww, the kid is a wingman. AND PR manager for the princess. Well done.

“Was last night not...nice?” My dear chambermaid, I see you winking.

Oh, oh. Incarcerating teachers is never a good sign.

I know the “dress up as a boy/man” disguise is ooooold but unfortunately, it’s A Look.

“An execution before the wedding. What an extravagant idea” YES BECAUSE IT SYMBOLISES HOW YOU WILL EXECUTE THIS MARRIAGE: LIMP AND HANGING.

The child. I love him. Going full cat mode to distract the landlord and steal the blue light. (I’m trying to find a gif of a cat shoving a glass off a table, but I’m failing.)

Dude behind the prince...what is your hair. (also I’m sorry for reading queer subtext into everything but you have more...chemistry...with the prince than he does with the princess.)

is that a cardinal sitting between them

ah. a bishop.

yessss “let me smoke one last pipe”

but the hangman didn’t deserve this, he’s just the executive, really, Jakob, you’re a soldier, you know this

“I KNOW HOW TO USE A SWORD” - “Boo” - *falls into the horse trough*

I knew they were going to send the king to the witch. I knew it!

a happy ending, and a well-deserved one. ^_^

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 25.07.17 lb

plain text version here. 

bhavya just be taking her gal pal along with her on an investigation like it’s a saturday brunch and shopping date. nice. 😊😊😊

hahahahahahaha shivaay using oberoi mansion as an example of a safe place. i honestly cannot stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

i honestly love ragini’s transitions once someone leaves the room. when the billu is away, the naagini shall play! 😇😇😇

what kinda jankyass 90s winamp looking program is this that the mumbai police is using to track the sim location? 🤔🤔🤔

the calls are coming from inside the house! 😯😯😯

of course. contrived excuse for not being able to hear. lorddddddddddd. 🙄🙄🙄

why the fuck did he have to come all the way outside the house to make the call anyway? itna bada ghar hai, you’re telling me there’s no silent spot anywhere INSIDE where he can make a call? 😒😒😒

SAMAR. FUCKIN WHY, DUDE?!?!?! HONESTLY. YOU SHOULD BE TALKING YOUR SISTER OUT OF HER CRAZY. OR SECRETLY MEDICATING HER BY LACING HER CUCUMBERS WITH ANTI PSYCHOTICS. NOT PULLING A RAHUL FROM DARR. 😫😫😫

lmao ok suddenly samar found a bike helmet outta nowhere. 😐😐😐 

um.... ok? 😕😕😕

THEY WERE DOWNSTAIRS ON THE GROUND LEVEL. HOW THE F ARE THEY RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS NOW? HONESTLY, CHUTIYA SAMAJH RAKHA HAI KYA? 😑😑😑

how the f does samar know the layout of oberoi mansion so well? 🤔🤔🤔

also, they’re fucking upstairs again. you gotta be kidding me. what kinda teleporting chase sequence is this? 😣😣😣

whatttttttttttttttttttttt nonsense, lorddddddddddd. 😤😤😤

also, samar is as rich, if not richer than shivaay. why can’t he just hire someone to do this, instead of doing this dirty work himself?? kuch bhi. 😐😐😐

shivaay seems destined to permanently sport that forehead bruise now. 😗😗😗

great. these two are going to argue over this now. 😐😐😐

yuuuuuuuuuuuhp. 😒😒😒

anika, what happened to not bringing this up with shivaay until you had proof???? looks like that theory just swiftlyyyyyyy went out the window. GOD AND I WAS GETTING HAPPY THAT FOR ONCE, ANIKA IS HANDLING THINGS SMARTLY. 😫😫😫

OUFFO OM, THE BABY DOESN’T HAVE FEVER. 🙄🙄🙄

omki is feeling old chulbul waale jhatke? 😏😏😏

ooooooohhhh i like this instrumental saathiya. 😊😊😊

look at him making moon eyes at her. 😍😍😍

god does om has munchausen by proxy or something??? the child is not ill, omkara! 😑😑😑

great. this is going to be an issue. that she isn’t educated enough to get the english names of drugs and thus isn’t good enough for him. 😣😣😣

god pinkyyyyyyy, why are you bhatkofying like a bhoot behind gauri???? THERE’S ZERO REASON FOR YOU TO EVEN INTERACT WITH HER. 😠😠😠

self loathing. that’s why. gauri reminds pinky of herself when younger. 😬😬😬

like... pinky is actually MEANER to gauri than she was to anika. i really don’t get it. 😕😕😕

... uh? rudra and bhavya share the same bed??????? the fuckkk? FUCKING SHIVIKA DIDN’T SHARE THE BED UNTIL LIKE MONTHS AFTER MARRIAGE. THIS IS SOME REAL HORSE SHIT. 😠😠😠

... as usual, not feeling this romance at all. also i’m mad that they wasted one of my fav songs on these two. why do they keep getting the songs i want for my other two otps??????? 😡😡😡 

ok little bit feels at her taking the picture of them. the least amount. 😳😳😳

aaaaaaand... bhavya’s skull just got cracked like an anda. 😐😐😐

shivaay looks painfully young in this tshirt waala combo. 😙😙😙

faraq faraq faraq. 😇😇😇

oh boy, gauri is still trying to remember the name of the medicine. girl, raat se subah ho gayi. just give up. 😶😶😶

why isn’t she using her internet chaachi for help rn? 🤔🤔🤔

also, omki doesn’t even care about the medicine anymore. 😐😐😐

this pinky is such an expert at finding and exploiting ppl’s innermost insecurities. 😔😔😔

oh ho, this is just painful to watch. like genuinely, and not coz of second hand michmichi. her distress and despair is just so heart wrenching. 😭😭😭

man, i just loveeeeeeeeeeeeee rudra + baby together. they’re the bestttttttt. leenesh manages to create such good chemistry with every single cast member, it’s amazing! 😚😚😚

NO DO NOT LEAVE THE BABY ALONE. DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😟😟😟

oh ho, these two arguments are happening 3 feet away from each other. 😑😑😑

why are you ppl shutting up rudra when he’s asking about a genuine issue that’s more impt than any of your petty nonsense? 😒😒😒

why is she surprised to see blood from her own wound? 😒😒😒

wow, whoever took bhavya just left her there, in an unsecured car, in the oberoi parking lot. with her phone. worst kidnappers ever. 🙄🙄🙄

as usual, the oberoi security have been bested by a team of fat 40 year old unclejis. 😑😑😑

why is everyone sooooo surprised at power failure? as if the lights don’t go out here on a regular basis. 🙄🙄🙄

haaaaaaaan, leave the front door WIIIIIIIIIDE OPEN. not like that’s a security risk or anything. 😌😌😌

these oberois are just begging to be murdered in their beds at this point. 🙄🙄🙄

“gala phaad ke cheekne chillane ki zaroorat nahi.” 

general life advice to shivaay. applicable in every situation. stop being so fucking shouty. 😒😒😒

meanwhile bhavya made it all the way upstairs. FUCKING HOW!?!?!?!??! 😣😣😣

LMFAO, HAS A GUN POINTED TO HIS FUCKING HEAD, STILL HAS ZERO IMPACT ON SHIVAAY’S TADI AND DIALOGUEBAAZI. 😂😂😂

HAHAHAHAHA OM’S EYE ROLLING AT SHIVAAY’S TADI LIKE “THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING TO GET US KILLED.” 🤣🤣🤣

omg acp anda is the fucking worst at her job. at this point, even ranveer, who doesn’t actually do any policing is better - at least he doesn’t make things WORSE. 😒😒😒

hahahahahaha anikaaaaaaa “bhaisaab ek minute, ek minute haan...” *pushing the guns away dismissively* “AAP DO MINUTE CHUP NAHI REH SAKTE?” 

lmaoooooo bulbul also joining innnnnnnn. 

hahahahah OmRu 😂😂😂😂

"tamancho par aapki tadi nahi chalegi... main baat kar rahi hoon... EK MINUTE!!! MAIN BAAT KAR RAHI HOON!!!!!” 

the wayyyyyy anika keeps slapping the guns away so cavalierly is hilariousssss. 🤣🤣🤣

GOD THESE TWO IDIOTS. 😫😫😫

evennnnnn the kidnappers are sick of these two and their bs. 😑😑😑

the baby looks happier than ever, finally being left alone and in peace for the first time in 4 days. 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

shivaay’s aankhon waale ishaare are not understood by either of his idiot brothers. 🙄🙄🙄

you aintttttttttttttt slick omki. idiot. 😒😒😒

lol anika back on her BS. 😆😆😆

the kidnapper is this 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 close to fucking shooting them to get them to stfu. 

“kaun hai yaar yeh dono, itna kyun jhagadte hai???”

it’s sexual tension, my dear man. they’re very horny for each other and aren’t able to do the do. and it’s manifesting like this. has been, for over a year. we’re more sick of it than you are. 😔😔😔

shivaay: we’re divorced!!!!!  gunda: yeh toh hona hi tha. 😒😒😒

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVEN THE HOSTAGE TAKER HAS AN OPINION ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP 🤣🤣🤣

... gauri has to be anika’s sister. this kinda crazy runs in families, no? 😗😗😗

are they looking for the locket or the baby? 🤔🤔🤔

snorttttt, shivaay/gauri against omki and om/anika against shivaay. besttttttt. 😊😊😊

hahahaha, OM/SHIVAAY AGAINST ANIKA. 😂😂😂

EVERYYYYYYYYYYYYONE AGAINST RUDRA! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 

actually, om is the best solution. he’s so calminggggg. i’d listen to him if i was a gunda. such a sweet boy. so obliging. 😚😚😚

BAD MOVE, GUNDA! BAD MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡 *pushes shivaay/rudra aside to kick gunda’s ass myself* 

lol the girls in the bg. 😆😆😆

why are the other gundas just standing around watching their boss being beat up??? 😐😐😐

aaaaaaaaaaaaand there. shivaay just got cracked like the second anda to be put in this oberoi omelette. 😑😑😑

OUFF SHIVAAY CAN YOU DROP THE TADI FOR 3 SECONDS PLEASE?!!?!? YAAR, THIS IS WHY I WAS LIKE THE OLD DEPRESSED AND MILD SHIVAAY WAS BEST. BUT YOU ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO BRING ANIKA BACK AND RESTORE HIS TADI. YOU WOULDN’T BE IN THIS SITUATION RN IF HE WASN’T SO DAMN MOUTHY. 😒😒😒

greaaaaaat. anika ki andar ki biwi # 1 jaaag gayi hai. power of the mangalsutra and sindoor and all that jazz. though she’s wearing neither. just be know, ~~spiritually~~, she’s alwaysssss wearing it. 🙄🙄🙄

even the kidnapper is like “bitch, didn’t you get divorced? DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR FUCKSSAKE.” 

which we’ve been yelling for over a month now. someone tell us the status of that damn divorce. 😫😫😫

“ayeeeeeeeee meri bhaabi ko kuch mat karna, goli maarni hai toh mujhe maar!”

OH MY HEART, RUDRA!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO SO SO MUCH. HONESTLY, I DON’T THINK ANYONE IN THE UNIVERSE CAN LOVE ANIKA AS UNCONDITIONALLY AS RUDRA DOES. *crying forever* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

poooooori ki pooooooooooori family pagal hai, by god. 🙄🙄🙄

of course, shivaay has to overshadow EVERYONE. ugh. alpha male bs. 😑😑😑

anika toh matlab, tuli hui hai goli khaane mein. 😒😒😒

rudra: bhaisaab, mere dono bhai shaadishuda hai. mare hue ko kya maarna? main single hoon, mujhe maaro! 

idiotttttttttttttttttttttt. 🙄🙄🙄

great. sab kar rahe hai toh acp anda peeche kyun rahe. usse bhi chahiye chance to show akad and tadi. 😒😒😒

.... where are all the older oberois? 🤔🤔🤔

didn’t jhanvi return from her joyride with svetlana till now? it’s the next day! tell me they’re holed up somewhere, making a plan on how to ruin tej beyond repair. 😈😈😈

oh finally, they want the baby. 😗😗😗

itneee bade ghar mein it’s gonna take an eternity and half to find the baby. 😐😐😐

you ppl picked the one thing they’re all united on; they’re not gonna give up the baby. 😌😌😌

apparently the gunshot sound doesn’t scare baby at all. she’s still happy as a clam. 😊😊😊

MY GOD THIS ANDA AND HER LEHARAATI HUI ZULFEIN. HOW DOES SHE EVEN SEE WHAT SHE’S DOING???? 😧😧😧

“bohut maarti hai teri waali” 

pffffffffffffft. 😑😑😑😑

lol anika and gauri also getting inspired. YAAAAAAAAAS GIRLS, GO TO TOWN ON THEM. TAKE OUT ALL YOUR ANGER AT MEN ON THESE FUCKERS. 🙃🙃🙃

WHY IS NO ONE THROWING THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF THE GUN FOR RUDRA???? MY POOR BOY! 😖😖😖

oh finally sr. oberois are back. from where ever they were, and like GOD WE CAN’T LEAVE THESE FUCKEN KIDS ALONE FOR 10 MINUTES BEFORE THEY MANAGE TO GET THEMSELVES INTO LIFE THREATENING DANGER. 😩😩😩😩😩😩

pffffffffffft. apparently we’re not playing the faraq games anymore tomorrow. we’re playing happy family. 😌😌😌

[simkjrs]

chapter 6 asks that are people that i personally victimized

Anonymous said: hi um what the fuck

good question. i’d like to know as well

Anonymous said: I. Am. Shook. Holy shit that chapter. NO WONDER IT TOOK SO LONG. YOU HAD TO PACK SO MANY DAMN EMOTIONS IN IT LITERALLY LEFT ME BREATHLESS BY THE END 

Anonymous said: playing those two songs on repeat while reading ch 6 and trying not to sob cuz this is long (thank you!) and its hard to read through tears man

interesting fact: i cried while writing this chapter. balance

Anonymous said: You have killed me with chapter 6. I am I'm going to die. Again. I have already died reading chapter 2 of MSA and loved it and died and was actually awake all night dying. Oh my god. Chapter 7 and chapter 3 are going to kill me aren't they? I cant wait!

dear diary, my teenage angst bullshit now has a body count 

Anonymous said: The new chapter was amazing and also caused my early death, thanks again!

body count: 2

Anonymous said: Ajhhhhh I have been slain by the new chapter it's so good I read it too fast when can we expect a new update????? Also deku pls. Pls. Just no. Take care of yourself!!!! U 2 simkjrs 

i’m sorry, i don’t have an update schedule!! chapters 1-4 were regular updates because i’d already written them before i started posting the chapter, but now i’m just writing as i go along and... irl stuff tends to get in the way lmao. hopefully an update before the end of summer. 

Anonymous said: simk i was just thinking this wasn't that bad hey this is like normal like where you move on make a friend who supports you confront your enemies BUT HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK THE ENTIRE CLASS VERSUS IZUKU AND SHINSOU that shit doesn't happen in real life that's motherfucking teriffying. URARAKA ALONE IS TERRIFYING ENOUGH. simk, why would you do this.

because i love dying and being dead... 

this stuff wouldn’t happen in real life except class 1-a is full of go-getters who WILL stick their nose into your business and WILL barge in if they think they can help. which is, for izuku, unfortunate. very unfortunate 

Anonymous said: well i read chapter six of byggualom and congrats, u've killed me, i am dead, on so many levels

body count: 3

@hyperhs​ said: That chapter was BRUTAL but also a MASTERPIECE. WELL DONE. like, really really REALLY well done. SO GOOD. AhhhdkHHH

thank you!! i try my best

@ifiwasafruitloop​ said: I burnt my Ramen because I was bingeing your new chap dude lol, it's so good 👍

i burnt your ramen... can you ever forgive these hands for what theyve done...

Anonymous said: I'm full of Viking bad emotions and WHY. I WANT OT PUNCH SOMEONE. AND SHINSOU NO. I OFFICIALLY HATE URARARUKA HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SPELL AND ALMOST EVERYONE IN CLASS A

i have no explanation. im sorry i did this 

@the-swords-of-summer​ said: hey! its me again, dunno if u remember but i screamed abt how much i love your 'but you gotta get up at least once more' fic :)) really glad to see your latest update even tho u probs killed most of your readers (including me) ahaha. hope you have a gr8 day and im looking forward to chapter 7!!

thank you!! sorry if you sent me a previous message and i didnt reply. its probably buried in here summer. but know that i appreciate any and all messages of support i get 

Anonymous said: i already left this as a review but i believe it's worth repeating: AHHHH????????????!!!!!!!??!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: [slurps up your suffering loudly through a bendy straw] 

Anonymous said: Cant tell u how much that ch crushed me and my legs and feet are numb from all the pacing i did while reading i was so immersed it was scary and u are by far one of the best no THE best fic writer ive ever had the blessing to read the works of and i def have shinsou theories and i hope hes okay also thank u so much for existing but also hwat the fuck

im laughing??? thank you so much for writing in, also i will now add “good for exercise” to my list of redeeming qualities for this fic

Anonymous said: you have killed me dead.

body count: 4

@lizzytiki​ said: I just finished chapter 6 and HOW DARE YOU HOLY SHIT YOU'VE KILLED US ALL

body count: infinity

Anonymous said:Spent the afternoon reading the latest chapter of BYG and... L I S T E N. LISTEN. THAT WAS SO SO GOOD AMD SO EMOTIONALLY RAW BUT ALSO IT HURT WITH THAT ENDING I AM HURT AND SLAIN

body count: 6

Anonymous said: i was afraid to reach chap 6 after all the screaming but i finally managed it and there are literally no words to describe the sheer utter amounts of emotional suffering i am after that ride you MENACE

i am a little gremlin that feeds off your emotional suffering. my job here is done 

Anonymous said: i literally had my fist shoved against my mouth that entire chapter to not wake up my house screaming at 7am and i WANT TO FIGHT YOU FOR THAT END. HOW DARE YOU. i mean i could /feel/ it coming in my gut but i WAS DESPERATE TO BE WRONG AND CANT DEAL

hrjlkfjsdf FEEL FREE TO FIGHT ME... STADING INVITATION TO JUST WALK UP TO ME AND DECK ME WITHOUT EXPLANATION, I WOULD UNDERSTAND

@iceeckos12​ said: About the new chapter: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

me too buddy. me too 

Anonymous said: Kill me softly (I'm in Denial™)

body count: ...7?

Anonymous said: SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. YOU'RE A DEMON! SATAN IN DISGUISE! I FUCKING LOVE YOU, GODDAMN IT!

@c-jay321​ said: Um sim... how dare you do this to me???? How dare you make me cry after reading the new chapter??? Just as my son was finally getting happy you made him sad again DX and worst of all, how dare you leave me trapped in a realm of suspense after reading the new chapter?? I absolutely adore your writing as always though, and Izuku's relationship with Hatsume, Mitoki, and Shinsou is so sweet!!!

im laughing... thank you, im really glad you’re enjoying those friendships!! and dw things will be ok 

Anonymous said: I hate you for what you have done but I love you for writing the story in the first place.

im sorry for doing this to you

Anonymous said: I am in so much turmoil right now. I love it but I hate it and Vfp&@:hsh!! D: How could you!? Sobs in a corner

someone gave me full responsibility over my own actions and now we all have to deal with it 

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (also, Izuku-Mitoki-Mei is the best combo) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

all statements in this ask are correct and true 

Anonymous said: I both simultaneously love u and hate u for ch 6. Aside from that u make words beautiful and am currently writing a strongly worded letter for ur hand in marriage. Platonically of course.

all strongly worded letters to the editor should be directed to @wrathia-bellarmina who is my perpetual enabler and the one who encouraged me to go forht with this terrible, horrible idea. i love you dana. your services are indispensible 

Anonymous said: CATCH ME OUTSIDE DON'T HURT TOKOYAMI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CATCH THESE FUCKEN HANDS!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its cool!! everything is cool!!! [everything blatantly on fire in the background] 

Anonymous said: gOD DMAMIT INJUST FINISHED READING YHE LATEST CHAPTER AND I WANNA STAB MYSELF I DINT KNKW WHETHER TO THANM YOU FOR THIS AMAZING CHAPTER OR TO YELL INTO THE VOID

yell into the void... it will probably make you feel better than thanking me when, in fact, i am the cause of all this suffering 

[habibialkaysani]

92 statements

I was tagged by @salt-throne :)

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: tea (pg tips, obvs - the pyramid-shaped teabags we have here because they are divine)

2. Phone call: a law firm I was checking to see if they did work exprience (they didn’t)

3. Text message: "hey can you check your whatsapp please” to my now ex flatmate

4. Song you listened to: hiding my heart by adele (so lauryssa it hurts)

5. Time you cried: I can’t remember. my antidepressants keep me from crying, thank god.

6. Dated someone twice: dating? who is she? idk her /jos

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: didn’t happen bc I don’t date /jos

9. Lost someone special: not yet.

10. Been depressed: it’s called depression sharon and the answer is ‘today’ /jos

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.-14. black, grey and purple

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: it’s been about a year since @jeffersonjaxson and I became friends, if that counts :) (I’m so glad we became friends tbh. I would be lost without you, my dear!)

16. Fallen out of love: for that I’d have to actually have been in love with anyone in the first place so the answer is no /jos

17. Laughed until you cried: last night I asked my mum what a smear test was and my sis was like “it’s when they test you down there” and speedy repeated “down there” and I laughed so much I pretty much was crying and then speedy burst into real tears because she thought I was laughing at her, bless her.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: once. it wasn’t nice.

19. Met someone who changed you: does baby speedy count?

20. Found out who your friends are: yep. and who my friends aren’t.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them

23. Do you have any pets: no

24. Do you want to change your name: I used to want to do that bc people are too dumb to pronounce it properly after I told them how to pronounce it but now I’m fine with it /jos

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I... can’t remember?

26. What time did you wake up: ummmmmmm 11.15am oops

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading birdsong by sebastian faulks

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my graduation to be over

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: half an hour ago

31. What are you listening to right now: flowers for a ghost by thriving ivory

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that I cant get work experience immediately

34. Most visited website: tumblr

35.-37. 

38. Hair colour: dark brown

39. Long or short hair: shoulder length

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyebrows and my eyes. I would put my ability to write, but like I haven’t written anything in forever so

42. Piercings: two in one ear, one in the other

43. Blood type: no clue oops

44. Nickname: mina is my nickname

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: used to be the flash but idk anymore. maybe poi?

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right or left handed: right-handed

51. Surgery: never

52. Piercing: bruh why are you repeating yourself? /jos

53. Sport: lol exercise?? a healthy lifestyle?? what is that??? /jos

55. Vacation: I went to barcelona which was nice

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: meat. all the meat. and eggs. lots of eggs.

58. Drinking: water, tea, mango juice

59. I’m about to: read more of birdsong

61. Waiting for: speedy to wake up

62. Want: to either get a part time job or get work experience

63. Get married: nope

64. Career: idk tbh. maaaaaybe lawyer? writer? copy editor?

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes 

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: it’s just fucken body parts my dude did you purposefully leave out 69 so that I can’t make a kinky joke /jos (omg I’m dying)

72. Hook up or relationship: atm? neither. /jos

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant for sure

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

77. Turned someone down: no one’s ever asked me lmao

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: I feel like I’d break my mother’s if I ever came out to her

80. Had your heart broken: not romantically

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yes, my grandma and my cousin

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: L M F A O

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: hey man you do you, I don’t care /jos

89. Angels: yes

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: I don’t want to put anyone’s name down here in case they don’t consider me their best friend :3

91. Eye colour: brown

92. Favourite movie: gone baby gone dir. ben affleck

why exactly 92 questions tho??

Tagging: @yellowflicker09011996 @jeffersonjaxson @eliotswaugh @piggiesaregreen @lancedinah @galaxyiris @crollalanzaa @minnarr @karasunovolleygays @winchesterpooja @anonymous033 @bicanaries @obsessive-warrior-hedgehog @adastrabella @kellyabbotts @blackcanary567 @chochang @daisysgf @blacksiren @whitecanarrow

[kayvsworld]

squeeful replied to your post “refrigeratorbucky replied to your post: yeah, i’ve...”

I can do it, but i'm double jointed and my shoulders do Weird Things

I can ALMOST do it....the Ant Stork Shoulder Stretch a good time

generallkenobi replied to your post “refrigeratorbucky replied to your post: yeah, i’ve...”

there's this Weird Obsession with Certain Circles where apparently ur not allowed to use references if ur a professional which is the dumbest thing tbh JUST PULL OUT FUCKING PHOTOBOOTH DEAR LORD

UGGGGHHHH NO @ ALL ARTISTS PLS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE REFERENCES if you’re a professional and you can’t draw a person Not Squatting it’s time to pull out a fuckening reference my dude take a selfie dig through google ask a pal to pose PLEASE BLEASE I BEG as a FAN who wants to enJOY AND GUSH ABT UR WORK who CANNOT bc u made Ant Storks Arm come out of his Back PLEASE LOOK AT A PICTURE OF A PERSON STANDING and also FIGURE OUT WHAT A HUMAN WOMAN LOOKS LIKE im EXHAUSTED

[caminadrummer]

between 2007 and 2012 i studied english at this v small institute, right, like there were very few courses and v few people per course and i loved it so sososososo very much, like, i wouldn’t be studying anything related to english if it hadn’t been in that environment that i started learning it, surrounded by really great and good and all around amazing people, right

so, in 2012, the prof (there were like three or four professors, this one was the owner, the classrooms were above her garage, etc) merged my class and the one ahead bc i guess we were advanced enough or some shit, and since most of us were ready to sit for the fce that year i guess it made sense. that’s where i met r (tho at that time i was barely interested in them bc i was still So In Love w david, the one dude i crushed on for like five years, whom i Also met at this institute), and again, very cool ppl in general

and there were these two, a dude and a girl, who are cousins and that i had sorta seen around the first few years, bc their class ended as ours began, but i hadn’t seen them in a while? and they had gotten. really fucking attractive? like the dude was short and cute and had long curls and had grown a beard that actually looked p damn good and he’s a bassist which i’m (was?) an absolute sucker for and he liked him and we talked about that a few times, and she was taller and super pretty in an ~alternative way and she had just started wearing her hair short-ish and she had the best best best accent i’ve ever heard and her voice was so nice and i think she’s also studying translation? and they were both like, really cool and interesting people u know. and like, again, i was still very much ~in lvoe with david so any attraction i felt towards anyone else was pretty superficial but those two were. my god. like at that point i was much more aware of the fact that i was not str8 (even tho i was holding onto the split attraction model for dear life),and seeing those two twice to three times a week was An Experience bc it was this implicit confirmation that i was bi as shit

from what i’ve been able to tell throughout the years from fb posts and stuff, he shaved his head? which was absolutely tragic bc his curls were so fuckening good. and now he straightens it bc i guess it suits his heavy metal bassist look or some shit? i mean it’s actually a good look but i’ll always mourn those curls. he’s gone through a couple of bands and sometimes he posts pictures of him on stage and i’m like. oh. like i doubt i can say i’m Interested but i guess i still probably would u know

and anyway, the actual point of this post, other than reminiscing abt The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me, aka that dang institute, is that whenever she posts pics of her i feel the need to fling myself into the abyss because she’s. so fucking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!! and apparently she did like a photoshoot or something like that recently with some really pretty lighting and shit and i’m just. holy Shit man. girls are so much

[radiyum]

okay!!!!!!!!!!! i read A LOT more of strobe edge!!!

i want to finish it tonight but i don’t want tooooooooooo..... on kissmanga there are 37 chapters but myanimelist says theres 43 chapters? unless they’re counting all the half chapters as chapters.....

anyways, chapters 20-31 under the cut!!

CHAPTER 20

god this manga is so good i ‘m so excited

daiki is so sweet and his heart skipped a beat when ren grabbed him lmao no one is safe

okay everyone knows they’re broken up now and the 80s chick is telling everyone and now shes putting things in ninakos head oh geez

GACCHAN YOU ANGEL PIE OMG YOU WANT NINAKO AND REN TOGETHER SO BADLY

i love that stupid fucking cat i love it it wins the best supporting character oscar

i need someone to confess to gacchan so he doesnt have to be so excited to receive obligatory gift chocolate on valentines day

GACCHAN

YOURE THE FUCKEN MVP IN THIS MANGA

YOU GOT HER TO GIVE HIM A CHOCOLATE AND HE IS LIKE BLUSHGING OMG

chapter 21

gacchan. my son. u set it up. u trapped them. u wanted ren to be able to repay ninako on white day. have i mentioned how much i love gacchan.

OOOOH A SPORTS DAY!

OOoOOoOohhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANDOU VS REN IN A BASKETBALL GAME

ANDOU HIT HIS HEAD AND FAINTED AND WOKE UP TO REN WORRYING ABOUT HIM

oooh FUCK andou is bringing back the skeletons in the closet

oh my go d this is os sweet

ren actually really liked andou as his friend because he was the first one who didnt listen to rumors or hate him for no reason

please make up my kids

be bffs again

chapter 22

ANDOU YOU DRAMA QUEEN YOU WENT ALL THE WAY TO RENS WORK

andou i cant take you seriously wearing those overalls you dork

ANDOU AND REN’S LOVER’S QUARREL AND MAKE UP i am so for this

ok ok poor ren took andou seriously about the death smile LMAO

ninako is so cute and innocent and i love her

MAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE???CAME??/T OT HEIR SCHOOL????????????~ AW WWW FUCK MY POOR BABY ANDOU

ANDOU AND REN JUST MADE UP AND YOU COME HERE AND RUIN EVERYTHING

wait...............yuu was the dude that sayuri was dating.............wait was he her first love .......................

chapter 22.5

ok so usually all the .5 chapters are a tragic backstory and i think this is sayuri’s and yuu’s past

wait nv m it was a one shot hmmm

chapter 23

this  panel of ren as a sheep is what i am alive for today.

all the girls wanted to pounce on ren and ren immediately grabbed for ninako because she makes him comfortable awHHHH

i love u gacchan and 80s hair girl for keeping andou away from ren and ninako pls keep doing this

ren blushing seeing ninako in his sweatshirt is making my heart flutter

YUU BROKE UP WITH SAYURI AND SOME RANDOM GIRL KEEPS GETTING TOO CLOSE TO DAIKI

chapter 24

yuu you fuck ass

go away leave sayuri ALONE

NINAKO KINOSHITA YOU SLY DOG “come here i’ll warm you up” AND REN ICHINOSE ACCEPTS OHHHH MY LORd i AM MORTIFIED FOR YOU BOTH

ren is making future plans with ninako to travel ooOOooh

DAIKI WHT THE F CK

DID YOU KISS THAT G IR L

DID YOU REALLY

I THOUGHT I KNEW U BETTER THANTHIS

UR SO RUDE AND EVERYYONE SAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK U

chapter 25

okay now i’m honestly taking this daiki kissing another girl thing personally because the same thing happened to me irl so like, it’s hurting reading how sayu doesnt know how to ask about what happened and her friends are annoying me because theyre forcing her and yeah ok yeah

OKAY i;m so thankful it’s ninako who is comforting sayu and that she’s the one shes confiding in

“dont touch him so much” BBAAACK UPPPPP

WHAT ARE REN AND MAYUKA GOING TO TALK ABOUT???

chapter 26

ok goodbye forever mayuka have fun in tokyo’

i’m glad thats over with

ren is happy when he’s with ninako !!!!!!!

ninako was watching kimi ni todoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

okay if that soggy loaf of bread mao does stupid shit i am gonna be so pissed

chapter 26.5

OKAY NOW WE GET THE BACKSTORY OF YUU AND SAYURI

yuu you got swayed by your friends like i dont feel sorry for you lol

i love how io sakisaka has been giving so much back story to all of these characters like it makes me love them all SO MUCH MORE

chapter 27

i love that he was replaying the song over and over again that ninako was humming the other day!!!!!!!!

ok...............mao.....................is back..........................

i hate her already go away go back to middle school

FUUUUUUUUUUCK REN ADMITTED IT

HE TOLD ANDOU

HE LIKES NINAKO KINOSHITA

mao overheard oh geez wtf are you gonna do

“this is just my pathetic personality, stupid ren” i love andou

mao fucking spilled the beans on my fucking LORD go away YOU GREMLIN

NOW THAT..... ren KNOWS his feelings..... is ninako going to reject him because now she knows that the reason andou and him drifted is because of a girl,...and she doesnt want that to happen again because andou likes her.......

chapter 28

fuck you fucking mao fuck you you fucking fuck oh myfuck i fucking KNEW IT

she’s gonna try some shit isnt she omg OMG

i have the stupidest grin on my stupid face

andou and ren are both gonna battle it out for my precious ninako

oh my god

“how can i surpass ren? how can i love you? how should i love you? to make you fall in love with me?” DAMN

she told him!!!!!!!!! a lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she told andou!!!!!!!! she no longer has feelings for ren!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ninako you butt munch!!!!!!!!! i know youre being considerate but you butt!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CANT JUST GO CRYING TO THE DUDE THAT CALLS YOU A BEAN

chapter 29

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK THIS BITCH

mao youre so annoying do you know how annoying you are

can she fucking let it go can she just LET REN GO JUST STOP

ren i fucking love you omg he stood up for ninako and caught her like a princess

kinda

ren is worried ninako and the yelling guy are at school together having sex OMG “i’m so dirty” OH GEEZ

ninako is confiding in the yelling guy OMG what is he gonna say

chapter 30

DING FUCKING DONG

HELLO GACCHAN YOUR HARD WORK HAS PAID OFF

REN LOVES NINAKO

ok sorry this chapter was just wordy but  good wordy

i love the yelling guy

chapter 31

REN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 HE GOT JELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OF THE TEAM LEADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE GOT OFF THE SUBWAY OMG OMG

gacchaAN YOUR PLAN OF REN REALIZING HIS FEELINGS FOR NINAKO WORKED BUT YOU RUINED THE MOMENT BY FOLLOWING THEM LMAO

REN IS PLANNING TO CONFESS AFTER THE SPORTS FESTIVAL

OH DEAR WHATS GONNA GO WRONG

fuuUUUCk

MAO likes  andou ?????????????? oH SHIT okok this is THE WORST PART TO LEAVE OFF ON BUT I HAVE TO

FUUUUCKKK

ANDOU NOOOOOO

DONT GO BACK TO HER I WILL KILL U

[neighbourskid]

Have You Ever Been To See London Town

(original date: 01 November 2015)

Here We Are In London Town

As some of you might've read in one or the other post, I planned on going to London this fall. Well, that happened two weeks ago and now I am here to tell you all about it. Because I got a lot to tell you guys from the interwebs. But no rambling now. Without further ado, I present to you: my week all alone in London.

It was Tuesday, October 20th, very very early in the morning. My mom drove me out to the airport in Basel where I would take off around 7am. My mom did not come into the airport, so I had to do the check-in and baggage stuff all by myself - for the very first time. Whenever I flew before it had always been in a group and I had just watched what the others did and then did that. But not this time. No. I had to figure it out myself. But I got that done eventually and found myself at my gate, waiting very bored for boarding. To pass the time I typed out my thoughts on my phone, which is what I wanna show you right now.

It's 5:53am, I'm sitting next to Gate 31 at EuroAirport in Basel. I just had a croissant and a (absolutely horrible) coffee from Columbus Café. Boarding is in approximately half an hour, flight takes off at 7am. If everything goes accordingly to plan, I will be in London at 8.15am. I am rather bored right now but the other people here do not look any better than me. There's a rather old man in a brown leather jacket and an old woman who don't sit next to but apparently know each other. Next to the woman sits a 40+ dude, with moustache and a green-white scarf, who knows them as well. Opposite me sit two 50+ gentlemen, both tapping on their (allegedly) iPhone 6s's, being all business and shit. One of them wears old people shoes and a beige trench coat, the other looks like Prince Charles. Then there's a blonde woman with a coffee, who doesn't mean to but looks rather lonely and sad. Then behind me sits some dude in a red-black caro shirt. No idea what he looks like. The coffee shop is getting more and more busy the closer we get to boarding time. Which is odd because that coffee is crappy as hell. Well, maybe they can make Latte's now and not just plain coffee or espresso. It's past 6am now. I am still very bored. I could keep looking at these people and analyse them, but it is not that interesting to be honest. But hey, the old dude in the brown leather jacket just moved to sit next to his wife (?), cause the other dude went away. Oh, my mom just sent me a text. Maybe I'll meet someone I know. That'd be rather funny.

You get the idea. I was very bored. A bit later I go on and on about all the people around me, give them names like "The Italians" or "Donald Trump", "Mulan" and "Princess Diana". I write about every new person who arrives. It was entertaining for the time being.

It was 6:40am when I finally sat on my seat (23A). At this point I started to write on my phone again about what was happening, what I was doing, the people around me and other things. A little before we started going down again we got little sandwiches for breakfast, which was very lovely. I have to say here that I really love flying. I love it. Especially when I have a window seat. Because, if not too tired, I will stare out the window the whole flight and look at the clouds and the stuff beneath us, watch how houses and people and cars get smaller, take pictures of sunsets and sunrises - I just really enjoy flying.

After arriving at Heathrow Airport I took the tube to Tottenham Court Road, which was the best station to find my hotel from. Which I didn't. Well, not immediately. I walked around for at least half an hour trying to get a wifi signal somewhere so I could google my hotel. I did find it in the end. But waaaaaay to early. They had said my room would be available around 2pm, and when I arrived it was something between 10 and 11am. I could leave my baggage at the reception, which I did, and then went out to, well, get to know the place. But I had made some mistakes in my thought process. Which you will understand after you read the entry I made in a notebook.

It's 11am. I'm sitting in a Starbucks somewhere near Oxford Street in London. My coffee is still too hot to drink, but it's standing here waiting for me. When confronted with the fact that I couldn't go to my room until 2pm, I reacted very very stupidly. Because I took literally nothing more with me than my phone (with 30% charge at the time) and money. I could've just simply taken my bag. But no. I left it with the other one at the reception. Stupid me. So I went out, walked a bit until I found a McDonald's, where I ate some crappy breakfast burgers. Then I went to Sainsbury's to buy a pen and this notebook. And then I came here. To spend the remaining three hours. I just wanna shower actually. And be alone for a bit. Until I go to Madame Tussauds at around 3pm. My phone is at 15% now by the way. Not sure if I can find back to my hotel without my phone, though. Hopefully. Coffee is still hot as.....whatevers. I don't think I'll ever go alone on vacation ever again. I've only been here for what, two hours? I don't like being alone in a place I don't know that well. I feel odd. And am a bit afraid. And with my thing with many people in little space this all doesn't get much better. I hate being in crowded places. At least this place is rather empty. God, I'm so tired. What I love about this place is the language, though. I love English. And I love the accents. Very very much. But enough of my chit-chat. Imma write a bit now.

And then I wrote. I wrote a little Leverage ficlet. It did the job.

In the end, I went back to my hotel with 1% charge left on my phone. After I got lost trying to pass time. But hey, I found the place again and all was well. I took my shower, I was alone. Then I went to Madame Tussauds (nearly panicked on the way because I thought I was going to be too late) and it was awesome. I took loads of pictures and selfies and I enjoyed the place very much. Looking back, my first day alone in London was a great success. *happy face*

A Foggy Day in London Town

We wrote Wednesday, October 21st, it had been 8am and I had probably just woken up. Looking outside the window I saw what I had heard after waking up: it was raining pretty effing strong. But hey, that's London, amiright? Well anyway. On Wednesday I actually planned on getting up at around 9am, but I was an hour too early. Well, didn't matter, because this way I was able to watch the Agents of SHIELD episode that had just come out the night before. Which was great. To get you a clearer picture of what was going on in my head, have here another excerpt from my notebook.

It's half past nine in the morning, I'm sitting in that same Starbucks again, drinking my coffee and eating my croissant. It's raining pretty strong. But hey, it's London. What'd you expect. At 11.15am my two friends David and Philipp will arrive at London Euston, coming down from Coventry where they visited another friend of ours, Gabriel. [...] Today I woke up an hour earlier than I planned, but that way I could watch the new Agents of SHIELD episode, which was very very cool. Loving that May is back at SHIELD. Coulson still loves her very much. God It's raining so much. I don't wanna go outside. But I have to go back to the hotel to get more money. And then I have to go meet my friends. Sigh. Going soon.

And then I went. Got back to my hotel, grabbed the money, went to the tube station, travelled to London Euston where I had to wait quite a bit for my friends to arrive. Because, as usual, I was there too early. I scribbled a bit in my notebook to pass the time, thought about writing another ficlet, but then decided on drawing.

When they finally arrived I felt so happy. Not alone anymore. Yay! No seriously, it was very comforting to know someone. And I could finally talk to people. It was very good having them there. Well anyway, I helped them find their hotel so they could put their stuff away. After lunch we walked a bit on Oxford Street, went to Starbucks, Waterstones and HMV. It was a great afternoon. I really enjoyed it. At around 5pm we split again, because I would go and see Hamlet that evening. Which I was very much looking forward to. As shows my notebook.

It is 5:16pm now. I'm back at my hotel, listening to Absolute Radio. Hanging out with Phil and Dave was great. Finally someone to talk to. God. We went to Starbucks, visited some bookstores n'shit. And then went to McDonald's to eat. Maybe we'll chill out again after Hamlet. We will see. I have about an hour of free time now. Will leave around 6pm. I'm looking forward to the piece like VERY FUCKEN MUCH. I mean, it's the Batch. LIVE! And maybe I can catch a picture at Stage Door.

That was that. On the way to Barbican Centre I nearly drove crazy because I forgot to bring an ID, which was necessary, apparently. Well, I did get in without one in the end, so no need to be stressed about that anymore. I sat next to a couple of Germans, who did not know that I could understand them, but that was okay. Sadly, I did not buy a programme, which I still regret now. It's a lovely thing to have. Well anyway. The play began at 7:15pm.

For those of you who have seen it, you understand me. It is hilariously, amazingly, tragically perfect. I mean it was a real joy watching this play. Starting out with Benedict alone on stage, mourning 'his' father, it was a great opening. It just took you in and did not let you go anymore. I still find it so amazing how much presence Ben has in a room. He has this beautiful confidence, I don't know. It was just very very thrilling. And his voice, dear baby Jesus, his voice. I should actually just give up to tell you about this play. I just cannot fathom my thoughts. It was truly mind blowing. The whole play through I had this grin on my lips, this proud smile, because he did it. Benedict had made history. I-...wow. Just wow. And then you'd think it couldn't get any better. You will stand corrected. The play is over, all the actors are on stage, bowing. And then he asks for silence, for attention. And proceeds to hit you with the biggest and most emotional hammer right in your face. He talks with so much passion about how they had been able to collect money for the refugees and he pleads, he begs for us to think, to truly think about what having a home means. And he talks with this eloquence, those beautiful words. He could've put his sword right through my heart and I wouldn't have minded. Because what he tells the audience after every play, every night, is so damn beautiful you cannot not give something. Sigh. Wow. I'm just overwhelmed again right now.

He reads the beautiful poem Home by Somali poet Warsan Shire during that speech, and I just feel like I should put the part he read here as well. You can find the whole poem here.

“no one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark you only run for the border when you see the whole city running as well”

It makes me cry everytime I read it. It also includes the beautiful line "No one puts children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land." And here's Benedict's speech as well. Watch it, listen to it. It truly touches your heart.

Mooooving on now. Where was I...

Ah, yes. Well. After the play I, obviously, went out to Stage Door to get a chance for an autograph or a selfie with Benedict, or to at least thank him for what he's done and what he's still doing, and tell him he's doing a tremendous job. I waited with all the others. Waited long. It was cold. But it was at least not raining. We stood there and finally after some time the first actors came out. It did not take long until all of them were through and gone. But for one. Benedict had not shown up yet. Not long after all the others were through, a nice woman from the Barbican Centre came out and said that he had already left and, for that matter, would not be doing Stage Door tonight.

Head hanging low, quite sad, I walked back to Barbican Station to catch the tube. I was torn. I did not know how I should feel. The evening was absolutely fantastic and I loved every second of it. But on the other hand, Benedict was why I even came here. I don't think I would've watched the play if it had not been for him. So I was rather disappointed that he did not show up. But then again I understood. I mean, he has a little kid and a wife at home and you don't wanna be gone for too long. I really understood him. So I was really torn. Not sure what I should do with the fact that I did not get to meet him.

I went back to Tottenham Court Road where Phil and Dave were already expecting me. We then went out and walked about the city for a while, then went into a McDonald's and had a midnight snack, so to speak. They were a good distraction. I would've probably sulked way more if I had just went back to my hotel that night. But I didn't, so yay, night saved. Or so.

London Blues

Thursday, October 22nd. In the morning I accompanied Phil and Dave to the tube station to say goodbye and show them where they had to go to make it to Heathrow Airport. It had been really nice having them there. Nice distraction. We had a good day and a half. Really good. After that I went back into sulking mood, I suppose. I was alone again, I did not get to meet Ben the day before, I was tired, I was sad. Boo :(

But the day would only get better. I didn't do much in the morning after Phil and Dave left, but in the afternoon I had to go to Baker Street. The pick up point for Warner Bros. Studio Tour: The Making of Harry Potter was there. I got there way to early, as usual, and sat in the cold. There were lots of French families going as well, so their little kids ran all around me, being French and rather annoying. Well, the one boy was cute in the beginning but then he started to be annoying as well.

When the bus finally arrived I took a seat and waited for it to begin. To my surprise there was a little TV in the bus. I was still kinda sulking about the day before, but when the driver started the film and the melody came on, I was flashed and completely absorbed by this event. They played the first Harry Potter film. And oh was I smiling like a freak in that bus. It was one of the best bus rides I ever had, for the film alone. But it would only get better.

We arrived at the studios around 4.30pm, I suppose. And then I walked into that building and what happened for the next four hours was pure childhood and it tore me apart. The theme song was playing everywhere, there was Harry's room under the stairs from Privet Drive, there were props and costumes and oh my god. I, wow. I mean, seriously. You cannot imagine what it is like going through these halls if you have not been there.

First we got to watch a film about the studios, kinda behind the scenes stuff, with actors and everything. And then we could walk into the Great Hall. And Oh. My. God. It was everything you would ever dream of. I walked through this studio like the biggest doofus, big grin on my face, shiny lil' eyes. My heart exploding.  Because I went there in the Halloween season, they had people walk around as Death Eaters, which was awesome-sauce. Well, I really can barely talk about this whole thing. I just cannot put it into words. But what killed me most of all was the "miniature" of the castle, of Hogwarts. I-....I nearly broke down into tears in that room. Also the train, though. That was a dream come true. Sitting in a booth, walking through the train, hell, standing on platform 9 3/4 alone was just mindblowing.

But what was the worst was the souvenir shop. It comes right after the castle. And you wanna buy everything. Everything. Really, all of it. It doesn't even matter what house you think is the best, you wanna have all the things. All the shirts and hoodies and scarfs and all the wands and the pictures and just everything. I sadly only had money for three things, so I bought something for a friend and the "Have You Seen This Wizard" Sirius Black shirt and also his wand. Because you gotta, right?

But to show you how I really felt about this place, I can only give you the notebook entry I wrote in the coffee shop of the place. Here ya go.

My heart hurts. It's crying. For a time five years gone. This place is as magical as you'd expect. I'm really just flashed. The music, the pictures, the props, the EVERYTHING. It's pure childhood and a walk down memory lane. I really feel like I could break down and just weep. It's heartbreaking somehow. I mean, this were ten years of my life! The first book that was honestly and purely mine was "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". The first book I've ever loved. Sirius Black is to date still my all time favourite character in literature. I am so nostalgic right now. I could honest to God just start to cry. I could not imagine a childhood without Harry Potter. I just can't.

My tweets about it are by the way not looking any better. That place really killed me. On the way back they continued the film, but I didn't get to see it until the end because I got out at an earlier stop. Welp. That day is definitely to be scored as a very big success! :D

All Over London

Thank God, it's Friday. Or, well, I don't know. I wasn't really feeling superb that day. HP Studio left me thinking about my childhood, about my family and especially my dad and brother. But given the time that has passed since that particular Friday, I'd rather show you (again) what I wrote that day.

It's Friday. 12:40. Noon. I'm sitting in a Pret-A-Manger, just had a lovely ham and egg sandwich and still have coke and coffee, listening to music. I'm in London. An 8.5 million city. With terrifyingly lots of tourists. And you know what? I am depressingly lonely. I feel so alone. This feeling of "you're the only person on this planet" is very enclosing. Doesn't make a lot of sense, I know. I just don't feel well right now. Next time I'm definitely taking Angie with me. Or Salome. Having some sort of anxiety that involves great uncomfortability in big masses of people doesn't make this place any better. I mean, I felt great being here with Dave and Phil. I felt great in Madame Tussauds, at the theatre and at the Studio yesterday. But now? In this café? I'm feeling shitty as hell. Lonely and depressed. Sad. I really wanna go home actually.

But, mind you, I did not sulk all day in that Pret-A-Manger. I decided to do something that was comforting to me. And books are comforting. Very. So I decided to go to that Waterstones again I was in on Wednesday with Dave and Phil. I thought I'd find it without a problem. "It's on Oxford Street, that should be easy to find" I thought. Well, how do I put that... It wasn't. I got hopelessly lost. After giving up looking for that bloody bookstore, I desperately searched for a toilet. Well, what I found wasn't what I was looking for. But it was also water and stones. After some time of randomly walking around I found myself standing at the edge of the River Thames, staring right at the London Eye across the river. Well, I thought, at least there would be a toilet. And there was! So we could call that a success. I did take some pictures of the London Eye and Big Ben there because, I mean, I was there already, so why not. I also tried to find the lil' drawing Corinne left me three years ago, but it wasn't there anymore. Which does not surprise me actually.

After my failed attempt to find a bookstore I made my way back to my hotel, grabbed some food somewhere on the way and made myself a relaxed evening in my hotel. I really did not do that much on Friday, besides getting lost.

Evening in London

Saturdays are nice days, don't you think? I do rather like them. On my Saturday in London I did a bit of this and a bit of that. But I can best show you that with what I wrote in my notebook. Because boy had I time to write. It is by the way a wonder that I can still read what I wrote that week. I have a horrible scrawl.

Hello again. It is 2:36pm, I'm sitting at Starbucks with my coffee and innocent. At the table next to me sit four Swiss women, chit-chatting, gossiping. Today I made the big mistake of walking through Oxford Street. It's Saturday, it's London. There are millions of people! And I hate 'em all. It's raining again, by the way. I wanna go home to my hotel again, but I don't think my room's been cleaned yet. I'm also fighting with myself about tonight a bit. I planned on going back to the Barbican Centre tonight on time for Stage Door to catch a selfie with Benedict, but I have doubts. What if he doesn't do it tonight either? What if someone recognizes me? I just don't know. Oh, god news! I can work at FashionFriends again next week. Looking forward to that very very much. Because hey: it's a job. My headache is getting worse in this noise. God, I'm so tired. The Swiss women just left. And I think they forgot a bag. But maybe it's just trash. [...] Also, I'm (still) sad. I feel alone. I just wanna sleep. But I guess the possibility of meeting Benedict could make me feel better. So maybe I'm going. I'm somehow looking forward to going home again. Because I'll not be so alone anymore. I have my family there. Any my friends. I feel very tired. And sentimental. And nostalgic. It's 3pm now. I'll probably go back to the hotel soon. Yes. Sigh.

Well, I did go back to the hotel shortly after. I spend the afternoon watching Leverage and building myself up for the night. Because I had decided to go. I had to. Kinda. Well, after watching loads of episodes of the show, I packed my stuff together and left to get dinner. Which concluded in me sitting back at Starbucks at some point and writing again. Which you can read below.

Well, here we are again. Same Starbucks, same coffee, same orange juice. It's 8pm. The play will end around 10.20pm. And I will creep around Stage Door at, I suppose, 10pm. It's the last chance I have. Tomorrow is none. I checked. I wanted to try for one of the thirty 10£ tickets they sell there every day, but no luck there. No play on Sundays. So I gotta go tonight. Monday I'm leaving. And I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to meet him again. So I'm going. Tonight. And hopefully he will be doing Stage Door tonight, hopefully I will get my selfie with him. Hopefully. This would make my holiday really worth it. Cuz it is, initially, what I came here for. It was all about him. The rest is just icing on top of the cake, really. So without that picture, there is not really a cake. Maybe a muffin, yes, but no cake. And I want. That. Cake. But enough of that. I need to entertain myself again. So writing it is.

And so I wrote again. But I'm not gonna tell you about that. There is too much important stuff to tell about that Evening in London. I couldn't sit there and just wait until I had to take the tube. I was getting restless. So I got up after I finished my drinks, left the Starbucks and went on the tube. I was there waaaay to early. But guess what? There were others there already as well. I took my place at the front, next to two German fangirls. One of them complimented my Sirius Black shirt, I said thank you, but did not show that I understood every word they said. It was way too funny that way. And so we waited. In the cold. The play ended, people came out of the theatre, some of them leaving, some of them standing behind us, waiting for the actors as well. Not much after the play ended, a guy dressed in a purple barbican shirt came out and said that Benedict was not likely to come and do Stage Door tonight. There were loads of disappointed sighs, but nobody dared to leave, because what if. You wanna know what I did?

They said he probably ain't coming out, so I said, by God he will. And that's what I did. I prayed. I said to the Lord that if it weren't meant to be for me to meet Ben, then I wouldn't have gotten a ticket in the first place. I mean, why would I have? And so I prayed and prayed and then began to hum "Our God is an awesome God" over and over again.

The other actors came and went. There was a little wooooing when Ciarán Hinds (he played Hamlet's uncle, the King's brother) came out. He was brilliant, by the way. Very convincing.

And I kept humming the song. I kept doing that. I got my ticket out, prepared my phone, and just kept humming. And then he came out. Oh, he was lovely. I watched how he signed other people's tickets and programs and talked a bit, I snapped a few pictures from afar and prepared what I wanted to say to him once it was my turn. I wanted to thank him for what he was doing, tell him that he was brilliant, that the play was amazing. And then politely ask for a selfie. That was the plan.

Well, he came along, signed the German girls's stuff, then stood in front of me, took the ticket that I held to him and signed. But before that he looked at me, tired but happy, and smiled a little. All my plans kicked the curb. I managed to say Hi and Thanks after he handed me the ticket back and then asked for the selfie. He was very lovely about it. He told me that sure, he would take a picture with me, told me to set it up and tell him when I'm ready, he would sign along meanwhile. And so I told him when I was ready, we snapped the picture, he waved, I said thank you, he said pleasure and then signed along.

I climbed out of the masses of people pressing against me, waving their stuff at Ben, and got out to breathe a little. I started to walk away when they started clapping, so I turned and clapped as well. He waved goodbye and off he went.

Oh he is very lovely. Beautiful human being. Very natural. Very...very human. And touchable for that matter. He doesn't seem like this untouchable figure of stardom like maybe a Angelina Jolie or a Brad Pitt does. It was.... it was an amazing experience. And I will never forget it. I will treasure that in my heart forever. I will.

After that I went home, grinning slightly all the time. Having a good time. Looking at the picture every other minute. Staring at my ticket, stunned. It was worth it. It had definitely been the right decision to go. I would not have missed it for anything, looking back at it. Sigh. I'm being nostalgic again right now.

Looking Down on London

There is no better way to tell you about Sunday, October 25th than to let you look into my notebook. Because that little book that I bought out of necessity on the first day was my always comforting companion through this whole week. So yeah, see for yourself.

It was a success! And you know what? I'm happy! I'm not sitting in the Pret-A-Manger across my hotel being all sad and depressed. No! I'm sitting there, happy, smiling to myself, feeling good. Oh, standing in the cold for so long was so worth it. Ben was very lovely. Wished he had more time, though. But hey, he's a busy man. I'm glad I got my selfie and autograph. Thank God for that. God, I'm so happy. My week is made now. It's a bit of a shame he's not on social media. Would've liked to thank him properly. Cause the man is a gift. He's doing so much great work. But enough of that now. It's 11.37am, I'm sitting at Pret's, enjoying coffee & my music. I actually wanted to go to Hillsong Church but, well, I slept. Maybe tonight then. I think I'm gonna go out of the city today. Check out the nature. Go up on a hill or something the like. Find myself some solitude. Cuz I really don't like being surrounded by that many people. But first I have to find a place like that. Seriously, having met Benedict makes this holiday really worth it. I am so damn happy. So, Imma go now. Primrose Hill, here I come.

But before I buggered off into the nature that day, I went into a grocery store, bought my innocent orange juice and some apples. You gotta be healthy sometime, right?

To get to Primrose Hill, I decided to walk through Regent's Park. Which was a brilliant decision. Because that park is beautiful. And despite being rather well visited, you could find some solitude here and there. It was truly a beautiful place. If I lived in London I would probably be there every other weekend. I really enjoyed Queen Mary's rose garden. They were beautiful. It was very lovely. After I made my way through the park, I walked alongside Prince Albert Road to Primrose Hill. The sight you got from there is extraordinary. Truly beautiful. Enjoyed sitting in the grass for a while and just relax. It was what I needed that day, really. Relaxed me very much.

In the end, I did not go to Hillsong Church that evening. I relaxed in the hotel. It was a good idea. But truly, that day was a great one. Very relaxing, very beautiful, the weather was perfect.

From London With Love

Monday, October 26th. That was my last day in London. And a very exhausting one. I did not leave my hotel room until a bit before noon. Then I ate lunch and afterwards went to Starbucks (as always) for one last time. Had a little chat with one of the women working there, cuz she recognized me, because I always went to the same Starbucks. If I come back to London some time, I will definitely go to that one again. Or at least visit once.

I left the place around 3pm and took the tube to Heathrow Airport. Stood the whole fifty minutes. Then I went through all the check-in and security measures, made my way to the waiting place with a coffee, innocent and a cinnamon swirl (which could've been perfect if it weren't for the disgusting raisins that were in there) and sat down. After some time a cute blond dude sat down two rows down exactly opposite me. We occasionally stared at each other. At some point I, jokingly, wrote the following on twitter: "@ very cute blond guy opposite me at @HeathrowAirport next to A11 with the mac book, please know that i'm a girl and please do not be gay"

Shortly after, the official twitter account of Heathrow Airport wished me the best luck and hoped that I managed to get his attention. He, sadly, had just then left. Which the airport was very sad to hear but it hoped I had a great evening nonetheless. Having an airport as your wingman is....great.

Well, with cute blond gone I was rather bored. My flight was hella delayed, as were all flights to Switzerland, and in the end I ended up so late, that I missed my last train that could've brought me to my lil' village. So my mom had to pick me up half way through. Yeah. And I worked the next day, which was very exhausting.

But yeah well, that was my week in London. The post is terrifyingly long, I know, but I hope you enjoyed reading my crap. Cuz it only took a whole afternoon to write it all down. Hehe.

Well, whatever. I wish y'all a good time for now, until I write again.

Cheers!

*happy person cuz I met The Batch*

[goth-pup]

I'm so sorry I didn't mean to make you scared or paranoid! I just happen to know that somone you really like is not a good person. I just don't want anyone to get hurt as bad as I did. I don't want anyone else to end up like me. I'm really sorry.

heres a thought for you,,, how about messaging me the fuck off anon? I can only really think of one person I really really like but also fuckening I’ve come in contact with like three new people over the past two months (plus I have close friends) so like this still could literally be about anyone and therefore still makes me, surprise! paranoid and anxious as hell. idk if its been you but dear god ive been getting these lowkey for a while and then you spam me outta no where??? fuck this dude, I dont want none of this drama in my life………. get it together pls………. god. damn

[diszkomfort-archiv]

nbc hannibal

(this one is a sword in my heart lmao but) thank you 🌸the first character i first fell in love with: will?? fucken?? graham??? bae literally stole my heartthe character i never expected to love as much as i do now: anthony dimmond; gOSH that dude just hss, appeared, had his five mins in heaven, and then became one with god,,, still hurtsthe character everyone else loves that i don’t: i love everyone ugghhthe character i love that everyone else hates: maybe francis? he's very interesting please don't hurt himthe character i used to love but no any longer: at the very first time i kinda liked mason, but dear lord,, idk what to think nowthe character i would totally smooch: margooot ilysfmthe character i’d want to be: cooking power would be great, well than, hannibalthe character i’d slap: shut tf up franklyn you're deada pairing that i love: jimmy and brian are too cute, man let them be happy with their jerk jokesa pairing that i despise: idk this show is too good