#AND BOY HOWDY DO I RAMBLE

[itsohh]

Ohhh!! When Ghost straight up sat down and said “I don’t love you anymore.” My heart!!! Because you know this is exactly how he’d do it! He wouldn’t budge he’d just try and steamroll through it as quick as possible! Blunt and to the point with no remorse.

I don’t normally read angst because it’s just not my style but I really liked these, each was different and unique to the operators in their own way and showed their individual personalities. None of them felt copy pasted from the other and that is a feat in itself.

You knocked another out of the park, as usual. I hope you have a fantastic day! 💕

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ Deep down Ghost would be of course upset, because he certainly cares but he knows that the harder he rips the bandade off the easier it's going to be in the long rate. He's rather your heart be broken for a few months and eventually get over it than the alternative.

Now that I look back of then I lowkey kinda realise they all cause a different state of grief. Gaz with anger, Price with bargaining, Ghost with acceptance and I suppose Soap with denial.

How easy it would be to destroy or hide that note and pretend one day he's going to wall through that door.

I think each person in 141 is really quite distinct in their own way. They all have that same level of passion certainly for their job and their team but they just express it in different ways.

Like Price has a team to look over so he's always got that calmness to him. He can control his anger and his emotions but in a way he still lets them show? That entire scene with him confronting Shepard is one I think back to a lot. He's pissed, he's offended, he's angry. These are his people that Shepards attacked but ultimately he's in front of a laptop. He can't do anything to Shepard. Not yet at least.

Ghost's care is in a similar position as Price, he's a lutentiant. It's his job to look after his team but he does it in a less emotionally charged way than Price does. Still makes the same impact. In Alone he keeps the mood light, he keeps chatter up with Soap else the gravity of the situation may bare down upon him. An entire army is hunting them. Soaps head needs to be clear and Ghost keeps him in the game. Especialy that scene when they reunite with Rudy after Alone.

Theres not a single hesitation for him to say he would wait for Soap. I think Ghost may be a distant and careful person but he also cares about the people in his charge. His own person experience may shape the way he goes about them but they won't cause any type of deglect.

This is one of the reason I think Ghost has gone to at least some type of counseling or therapy or something. Like he has some PTSD but that man isn't ever going to have a meltdown or an attack on the job. He wouldn't risk it. Ghost has full control of his emotions and everything. I know that you also have to be very much mentally fit for the military too.

Gaz I think is the most obvious with his care. He cares about people obviously. He puts it up front. Like that line when Kate gets taken 'I thought Laswell was your friend.' she's his friend, even if she's his employer it's a very straight up simple way of thinking. It's not his responsibility but he will do anything he can to help. Just like everyone else, he doesn't want people to hurt but I do feel like he will try to do things to soften blows. More of a short term in the moment thinker aposed to Ghost who sees the end goal rather easily.

Soap is a wildcard in my opinion. He's got a decent amount of experience with life but also learning. He knows how he will respond to things aswell. Personally I think he's quick to bend to the will of his friends. Not in like a bad way but in the way of he wants to see those around him happy. He likes seeing people laugh. The whole situation of him leaving I think he knows if he straight up told you he leaving and you started crying, he would give in.

Hmm. Whoops got away with that for a bit. As you can tell I do put some throught about these guys. I think also playing the game gave a different experience from just watching it. Having that small preasure to actually have to do it. But then again it was on Veteran difficulty. Oh! I missed one shot as Gaz with the suppressed rifle and Price had to shoot them. He does this dad voice and tells you to 'wait for his call and if they are walking to lead them into it' and god damn I really felt bad. That being said I also felt like I learnt something with that 'leading people into the shot' it was good. A different atomsphare.

Then again I was living under his praise. 'Good shot'??? Kill me. Anyway! I'm glad you liked it. It's been a while since I wrote something and same day posted it. I'm really enjoying cod, even PvP which totally surprised me. fuck knife players it's been good! I'm hoping to eventually do the raids with a friend but I've heard they are long and time zones n everything. I haven't watched anything with the raids so I'm excited to know what happens in terms of plot.

[tonguetiedraven]

Yukio and True Cross: A Tale of Exploitation

Part 4 of my Yukio Okumura Critical Reading series. (Other parts here: one, two, and three) Please read them before diving into this one. It will continue to build on what was covered there.

We've discussed Yukio's role at the academy and how he views his role in Rin's life, and how he views himself in the lives of his peers. Now I want to talk about one of the biggest hinderances in Yukio's day to day life.

True Cross.

True Cross is a problem. A problem for Yukio and Rin in a lot of varying ways. Not just the obvious and looming problem of their parentage being enough reason for them to both be killed. There are a lot of reasons that Yukio is the way he is and makes the moves he makes, and aside from Mephisto, True Cross itself is probably his biggest opponent on the chess board his life is. For now at least. The Illuminati is waiting in the wings.

Now when last we left our overworked exorcist, he was sporting this expression in chapter 12.

And honestly, this is what I'm imagining every time he wears that customer service smile.

I've touched on it in my other parts, but now I want to take a moment to really reflect on the fact that Yukio has two jobs.

Yukio Okumura is fifteen. This is his first year of high school just like the rest of the cram students. This was his first time moving out as well, and on the day he isn't at home, Shirou dies.

But we'll get to that a bit later (honestly a lot later) when Rin finds out about the Blue Night.

Now at this point it's been about four months since Shirou died and the twins started True Cross Academy. It's often easy to lose track of time in this story, and I'll try and periodically remind everyone of where we're at with that.

The twins have officially made it through one semester at this school. One semester of keeping this a secret. Mostly.

One semester of living on their own. Of trying to make Yukio's scholarship and pay cover both of their expenses. One month of trying to keep Rin somewhat in line. One month of teaching a class he got very little heads up for. One month of doing additional exorcists missions on top of all that and maintaining his grades.

Why point that out? Because I want to make it clear that Yukio has been put under a lot of pressure. More pressure than he ever has been under, but he has been under a lot of pressure since he was seven. What he has also lost is the support and guide he had during those first seven years on this path.

This arc will give us our first real view of what True Cross the organization is like, and it does not paint it flatteringly. Nor should it.

Chapter 12 is the midway point of the mini camp arc. Everyone is in the forest trying to find a lantern and bring it back and the sky has just lit up briefly with blue flames. This is from Rin finding Shiemi passed out, getting frustrated/overwhelmed with the chuchi all over the place, and igniting.

By all likelihood he didn't intend to do that, however he still did and it is by the dumb luck he lives by that he didn't get caught.

Yukio is wearing the above expression because he sees the sky light up and Shura is laughing a few meters behind him.

Shura reassures Yukio that it'd just be bright in this darkness, and she's right. Ryuuji, who didn't have his flashlight on, knew there was a bright light but didn't recognize it as blue.

Nonetheless, we have Yukio showing a moment of frustration or exhaustion or likely both, and saying that he can't hide Rin's power much longer.

That's an important moment of verbiage to clue us into Yukio's headspace here. He is putting himself in the position of responsible party for Rin's secret. He is aware that when the secret comes out it will land on his shoulders to handle it and and he is aware it is his responsibility to delay it as much as possible.

It should absolutely not be his responsibility mind you. He is aware of the exorcist world, yes, but he is also fifteen and should not be in this position. I strangely often see people rage that Rin is expected to keep this secret while also blaming Yukio on the fact that it got out. It often seems that people who put forth a more responsible figure and manner are expected to take on more responsibility and then blamed when the responsibilities heaped upon them (and Yukio has many) overwhelm them or come to the only conclusion they possibly could.

Rin's secret gets out because Rin is emotional and not trying as hard as he might to keep it secret. Rin is who he is, and as he tells us himself, he's not much for keeping secrets. To keep this secret would require confronting emotions and guilts he's not ready for, and would require accepting his flames to some degree, and they are, at this point, still heavily tied to Shirou's death in his mind, and that and everything demonic about him is something he avoids thinking about or dealing with to the point he'll eventually lock himself entirely out of the ability to even use them.

It doesn't help that we also know that there is another hand at play endeavoring to force them into a reveal.

Yukio asks Shura why she's here and doing this.

Shura is putting her report to the Vatican on hold (remember she's an investigator) and says it's because she thinks Rin is funny and ambitious.

I think there's some truth in that, but it's absolutely not the full reason. However for her to give the full reason would be admitting feelings and emotions she doesn't acknowledge and she is seldom serious with Yukio outside of specific moments where she's trying to mentor him, so ambition and humor are the given reason.

However the moment I want to focus on is where Yukio shows surprise. As I've mentioned, Yukio rarely blatantly shows his thoughts or emotions unless he's been pushed and driven to that position over a period of time. Here however, the mention of Shirou has him showing surprise.

Now this will come back in much later, but Yukio seems surprised by Shirou being mentioned here. (Another tally on the 'Shirou knew he was going to die' list.) We are told later that he knew this but the surprise is still there. I'm not sure if it's her taking Shirou's words into account, or if Kato retconned this scene later, but the surprise is there.

Shura doesn't bother explaining, just continuing like Yukio is already in on everything.

Now at this point we leave the conversation and Yukio ruminating over what Shura said. We're given a shot of what she's looking at too.

So we know that Shura at least is aware Mephisto and Amaimon on here. We are not told if Yukio is aware of their spying presence.

The POV switches back to Rin in the forest where they find out the actual challenge and dive into it.

When we get back to Yukio's POV we find out it is now after 4 am. So regardless of whatever time the group started out on this assignment, it has been a LONG day. I cannot emphasize that enough. That is part of this entire thing. True Cross and Mephisto rarely push and manipulate their people/players unless they are 1) stressed by as many factors as it's possible to amass, 2) exhausted, 3) isolated, and if they can swing it 4) hungry and deprived of other basic rights and comforts.

It is late, it is hot (Yukio still doesn't have his coat), Rin has already ignited once and Shura is drunk and just mumbling on the side lines, and Yukio has probably been standing here watching for at least a bit.

I will again reiterate, this is NOT just a test for Rin.

They see a bottle rocket go off -- one of the items they gave the students to use in case something went wrong, and Yukio heads out to help. This is the last we see of him this chapter. We go back to Rin and friends who meet the god of the forest, and Amaimon was right, he is way too happy to help out and causes havoc among the students and Rin.

They manage to escape the enormous chuchi's grasp through the power of friendship and good throws and book it back to the camp where we discover that Izumo and Takara both beat their group back.

For the reader that were paying close attention the first time they read this, they'll notice this means everyone used their matches on the lantern and no one set off their flare, which means Yukio went after someone that was likely not a student and likely a trap.

It takes a while for anyone else to realize this, which is fair because Shura is the only one who knows he left.

Rin asks where Yukio is like a good brother who just noticed his twin isn't present, and Shura dismisses it as Yukio being in the way.

Now this could be read as her just being light hearted/dismissive, but I think with what we'll read in chapter 15 that she was being sincere. She wanted Yukio out of the way and circle so that she could do her next actions un interrupted because Yukio is the one trying to keep Rin's flames a secret.

I cannot stress enough how every adult around Yukio is plotting and manipulating and how he cannot relax his guard around anyone. There is no one he can trust to be telling him the truth and not be trying to manipulate him, even Shura. This is also true for Rin, but Rin is unaware of it to a large degree and doesn't interact with the adults as much as he does his peers. Shura also doesn't try to manipulate him as much as she tries with Yukio. She's more direct with them.

Yukio is working multiple jobs and forced to interact with these people and has been given the responsibility to keep Rin hidden, safe, and as un manipulated as he can.

We leave Yukio with him understanding something is very, very awry and facing off against the god of the forest as the chuchi rage against him, and go back to the camp and Rin.

There are three things I want understood about the camp scene that we will mostly be skipping because this analysis is about Yukio.

This is a plot specifically to expose Rin. Amaimon is here to piss Rin off and set him off and make him lose control. Mephisto planned this, and Shura is aware of this plan to at least some degree. And to at least some degree, she goes along with it.

Rin very much plays into their manipulative hands. Shiemi is mind controlled by a chuchi egg and forced to play the part of Amaimon's willing puppet, and we are made to understand later on that she was entirely aware during this full ordeal. Renzou gets two cracked ribs and probably a concussion from this. Ryuuji gets choked enough to be coughing up blood. Konekomaru gets a bad enough break that he has to spend days in a hospital. They are all hurt during this and that should not be ignored. They are also being manipulated and used during this, and Shura got rid of Yukio so that he wouldn't be in the way, but that also meant he couldn't protect these students either.

Rin's thoughts as he's watching his friends just get decimated (and I feel the need to point out Takara and Izumo are still back at camp) is that they are all so kind. That they've supported him and helped him and encouraged him and he doesn't want them getting mauled like this and he recognizes that this is his fault. While that's not entirely true and he shouldn't put other's cruel actions on his own shoulder, he does know that Amaimon is after him and they did not which put them in a far more dangerous situation than they were aware of. Rin has also already shown himself to intercede and throw himself between people he cares about and danger on seven occasions before this. This entire setup is probably the most predictable thing that could have happened. IT WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT. It was entirely planned. Planned by a Demon King who manipulates time itself. -the seven times I'm talking about: Jumped between Yukio and the hobgolbin, jumped between Ryuuji and a reaper, jumped between Paku and the naberius, jumped between Yukio and the naberius summoned thing, lured the naberius away from the other students, took a head butt from Kuro, tried to take on the god of the forest himself.

It is only now that we switch back to Yukio's POV, and only for a moment. Yukio right next to Renzou -- just to give you an idea of how damn far Amaimon shot Renzou --sees the situation and immediately shouts for Rin to think. To stop and breathe and not do what everyone who knows Rin knows that he will do.

Yukio's plead falls on deaf ears as he knew it would. Yukio could not keep the secret by himself, and Rin is no longer willing to hide it. Rin draws the sword and the fight between him and Amaimon is on.

The next shot of Yukio, he's running towards the injured students.

He is almost immediately focused on them and their injuries. He is direct and focused on getting them to safety and away from the danger he knows Rin is.

Remember that he is the one who specifically warned Rin about getting injured and relying on his flames in chapter 8. He predicted what is about to happen.

Yukio evacuates the students with Shura showing up part way through and the two of them snapping at each other. Yukio gives Koneko a temporary cast for his arm, because if you remember, Yukio has a doctor meister and seems to at least be somewhat adept at field medicine, and he carries Shiemi himself while Rin and Amaimon tear apart the forest and light up the sky with blue flames.

They are both going more and more feral, violently tearing into each other and their surroundings, and we see Yukio looking back as they make their way forward, and I think it's worth bringing back up this moment from chapter 2.

There was more truth in this than we often acknowledge.

It is my opinion, and I believe the manga heavily supports this reading, that

this is what Yukio has feared. What he foresees as the conclusion of what will happen if Rin relies too much on his flames and the demon within himself. That Rin will cease to be Rin at all and that he will become nothing but a dangerous and feral mind like the worst of the demons that Yukio feared when he was young. That he will lose control to the demon and it will almost certainly fall on Yukio's shoulders to stop him.

And not for nothing does he have this fear.

Chapter 13 ends with them running. Chapter 14 opens with Mephisto interceding on the fight and locking a resisting Amaimon away in a Cuckoo clock prison as one does.

The students are attempting to flee with Yukio carrying Shiemi, and let's pour one out for poor Renzou who had to by all accounts climb steps to get up to that thing with his broken ribs. Like damn.

They stop because Shima can't breathe and it's at that moment that Yukio spots Shura and is furious.

Her response is dismissive and rude, and honestly I cannot imagine how infuriated that sort of response would make me in this situation. Not only does everyone use and manipulate Yukio, they very often treat him as a child while they're at it, dismissing his intelligence and skill, and it is very likely intended to further push him and frustrate him.

Yukio is truly one of the most manipulated characters in this manga.

The new Paladin is introduced on this bridge. We meet Arthur Angel who confirms with Shura that there are others spies here because there are always spies in and around, often overlapping and working for more than one party. Mephisto shows up with Rin in tow, and Rin seems entirely gone. Feral and determined to attack everything near by. He snarls and lashes out at the students, Yukio, and Shura, and seems mindless.

Angel and Mephisto and Shura hold a conversation while Yukio watches silently with the students and it isn't until the Kurikara is sheathed that Rin calms down and seems to come back to himself at all.

At which point by all accounts Rin seems to have no real memory of going feral or how he got on this bridge. Angel lunges forward to press his blade against Rin's neck and Shura gets between them leading Angel to restrain her instead.

We get the frankly fascinating lore drop that Angel seems aware Shirou asked Shura to train Rin. Apparently Shura ratted Shirou out to everyone, lol.

I'm going to skim over most of the rest of this chapter but want to pay attention to a few moments on the bridge.

We don't get real closeups of Yukio or his POV during this, but we get these moment. Him reacting to injuries and trying to gather them, all the while knowing these students are no longer seeing him the same way and knowing that everything has changed beyond his control. (It's a bit uncertain just who Ryuuji is glaring at, but honestly pretty much everyone on the bridge would make sense in one way or another.)

A thing I think a lot of people kind of glance over or miss is that Yukio himself is not at the trial that IMMEDIATELY follows the reveal of Rin. Yukio is with the students, getting debriefed and likely examined himself. He does not know what transpired there and would have had to get the information second hand, likely through Shura or Mephisto who he does not fully trust. (One he trusts far less than the other.) He wouldn't get it from Rin, or at least wouldn't get a dependable/accurate explanation from Rin who would not know who to look out for and would likely be unable to remember the details Yukio would want.

We are shown the trial from Rin's POV and we miss some of the dialogue going on around him as Rin focuses on his own thoughts.

And his thoughts go to his twin.

During this trial where they are calling him a bastard and a conspirator and a weapon and other horrid things, Rin's thoughts go to Yukio and how he didn't listen and understand what Yukio was warning him about. Rin mourns his own reactions but will never say this to Yukio. He will think it and he will hold it to his own chest as he is want to do when it comes to his twin.

Neither brother is good at talking to the other about things like this. Things that need saying. It is just another conversation put on hold, much like the conversation about Shirou's death and what Rin is now.

"Damn it," Rinthinks repeatedly, until he loses control of himself again and tells all who are assembled here (and they assembled so damn fast y'all) to shut up and listen to him and that he is not a weapon or demon lord but will be the next Paladin.

Then he disses Angel's clothing in the best Rin fashion and Mephisto's wager is accepted.

True Cross moved quickly. Much much too quickly for this to not have been planned at all. This is a farce of a trial. They found a teenager who was not supposed to be alive and instead of listening to any proper kind of evidence or even acknowledging his twin or hearing what the hell was going on at all, they immediately move to try and kill him only to shift to using him as a weapon, because using people and demons is something that True Cross excels in.

Now it is likely July 20ish and he is given six months to pass the certification exam. The certification exam has not yet happened as of my writing this, and we're in January in current manga timeline. I think the original pre world going batshit plan was for the exam to be in January but the world went a bit batshit so you know, priorities. True Cross got them right for once.

This trial was a show. It was not just nor did it pretend to be. The majority of the Grigori are aware of why the twins exist and what Mephisto is likely planning. They play ignorant a lot, and that is all it usually is, a pretend. Pretending to be unaware and ignorant allows them to have the pretense of clean hands in the atrocities we will continue to uncover in True Cross' past. This organization paints itself as the only true and just and good defense against the darkness of the world, and part of Yukio's arc is becoming more and more disillusioned with that.

He was brought into this organization by Shirou under the pretense of growing strong to protect Rin, and it seems until a certain point that he thought they were doing good, but that belief, if it was one he held, will not be able to withstand what comes.

Chapter 15 we open with Yukio a few days later. Possibly the next day. Possibly a day and a half later.

Yukio steps into their dorm room to wake up his twin to discover his twin has done the pillows in the bed trick which tells us Rin didn't want to get caught not being in bed.

He receives a text from Shura saying she's going to be late and swe see the opening of Yukio's pov closing with Yukio tightly gripping his phone and showing mounting frustration.

We're not told his reaction to the trial or the news that Rin has six months to pass. We're not told a lot about what has happened since, though we are shown that it was on Yukio to explain to the students what exactly had happened and was going on.

Yukio's hands and posture give him away in this scene. The tension and dare I say shame as he explains clinically who and what they are. That Satan possessed someone and had a child with a human woman. That Rin has flames and he does not. He doesn't quite look at them during this scene, and he cannot give them a lot of information for a lot of reasons.

This is another occurrence where we see him keeping himself at a distance from all of them. Shiemi even points out that he is formal, almost like this was a class. He does not let himself show his emotions or thoughts, just answers what he cans and leaves, likely to further questioning from other exorcists.

This is all we get of him post trial. We never see what exactly transpired between the twins after the trial. What we do see is the normal friction between the two and both of them still not quite talking to each other.

Yukio pulls Rin away from the main class for his private lessons, which seems to be the Vatican's decision about Rin hanging out with the others students. Ostracize him and make someone else handle the problem.

The twins sort of have a conversation.

Rin points out Yuio looks angry, Yukio denies it and gets annoyed at Rin acting like an older brother. (He's smiling that smile so there seems to be frustration there to me, plus the context clue of when he says it and how he says it.)

Rin says he can tell when Yukio is angry, and at this point he's accurate, but there will come a time when Rin cannot tell what Yukio is thinking/feeling, at least not accurately.

Their conversation continues with Yukio telling Rin to take this seriously for once. Rin mishears and thinks he said 'cereal' instead of serious. We love the goofball.

This is an important line for both twins. It shows how Rin intends to do and handle this, by just not thinking about it.

Rin is lying to himself here, and not even lying well to himself. This arc will force him to confront this lie and overcome it and think at least a little about all this. About what has happened and what this will mean.

Yukio will be forced to confront this lie as well, and be forced to consider his own thoughts and emotions and whether he is angry or not.

This is never just a test for Rin or for Yukio.

Shura shows up at this point and lays it out for Rin that from now on her and Yukio are always going to be watching him. She gives Rin the candle assignment and Rin does not manage it and will not manage it for a while. I want to know what the bill on candles was by the end of this. I bet Rin either lights all candles just to show he can or never lights another out of sheer stubborness.

Shura leaves Rin to it and goes back to Yukio and this cute moment happens.

She almost never calls him anything else. Another person who constantly reminds Yukio of when he was younger and wimpier and a cry baby, and remember that he has sworn to himself to never again be weak and frightened. He is striving hard to leave that all behind but cannot move past what he was with the constant reminders around him.

(*cough* Mephisto wants it that way *cough*)

Shura goads him into a challenge and we get the flashback I talked about previously of little Yukio being beaten by Shura.

I need to add that the verbiage of this bugs the hell out of me.

She orders him as his superior to do it. Shura wants Yukio to relax and not be so uptight, but she also refuses to do it and help him unless it's entirely in her way, and it causes increased stress and friction, and often comes across bratty and entitled. Their relationship is old and complicated, and there is often an imbalance in power like this. Shura is the closest he gets after Shirou's death to a mentor he can depend on, and he can't quite trust or lean on her because of things like this. She will mellow out and open up and take this more seriously and become someone he can lean on more, but it will take a while to get there with work needing to be put in.

Yukio accepts the challenge with the agreement that she stops calling him wimpy if he wins. They start to fight, Rin is shook at how good they are, and Yukio uses this moment to question her.

I don't know if I've ever seen analysis on this moment, or even much recognition of it at all. Likely because the anime and it's muddled opening episodes to the Kyoto arc doesn't really go into it.

Please read the manga, y'all. It gives us SO MUCH more than the animes gave and give us ;-;

Anyway, Yukio points out the fact that he knows that the forest was a setup. He was sent away and Rin was revealed, and it was deliberate. Shura confirms that she did indeed go along with Mephisto's plan.

Shura confirms that she did this deliberately and is happy Rin has been exposed. That she knows they're pawns. Yukio is not at all happy with any of this and we find out:

Yukio swore over Shirou's grave to protect Rin. It baffles me how people seem to ignore or not notice that Yukio is determined to protect Rin for most of this manga. He states it blatantly more than once.

He swore to protect Rin, and he has been taking the full weight of the secret upon his own shoulders. All of his peers have conspired against him, and it now confirmed that all were. The ones we are aware were in on Rin's heritage are Neuhaus, Shura, and Mephisto, and each of them have plotted and worked to make sure Rin was revealed, and he was, and now Rin has six months to pass an exam or die and Yukio is under no illusion that Rin can pass that.

Currently, he's valid for thinking that. Rin got a two on a test Yukio gave him in a class he was tailoring to Rin passing. If there's a written component to this test then they're fucked. Rin might be able to pass a skills portion, but he's currently in the next stall obliterating candles with wild flames so Yukio doesn't exactly have reasons to think that's going to happen either.

Yukio is stressed to hell and back and trying not to show it but it is slipping through the cracks and he is not being listened to by anyone around him. Rin and Shura keep dismissing his thoughts and opinions and pushing their own thoughts and opinions on him, and right or wrong, he is a person who despises being treated like he's stupid and like his words aren't being heard. (Does anyone like being treated that way?)

Shura watches his reaction and expression and asks him if he knows what makes a good exorcist. He says heart, skill, and body, which he learned from Shirou. (We'll see that in a flash back during the Blue Night arc.) Shura agrees, but says that not bottling up emotions is even more important because demons exploit resentment and stress.

Quick pause to point out earlier where I said a few thousand words ago that:

True Cross and Mephisto rarely push and manipulate their people/players unless they are 1) stressed by as many factors as it's possible to amass, 2) exhausted, 3) isolated, and if they can swing it 4) hungry and deprived of other basic rights and comforts.

This is a reason. Demon and people and organizations find it much easier to exploit people who are resentful and stressed.

Shura continues her observations.

And that is where I will end this one. Yukio is being primed for something, and Shura sees that, but Yukio is not in a place to listen to her, nor can he exactly be blamed for that with how she has treated him and manipulated them to get to this point.

We'll cover the Kyoto arc next and keep digging in on all the reasons why True Cross has a LOT of issues and why Yukio is getting so very disillusioned.

As always, check out my tag #raven ramble for more of my aoex analysis! I've got a lot more to do, and if you sent me an ask about analyses, don't worry! I will get to you <3

[blimbo-buddy]

twitter really does fuck up a lot about how you approach things, especially if you were active on there as a teen and I’m genuinely serious here

[sanji-outfit-tourney]

Well I finally sat down and worked out the schedule for the whole tournament (probably should've done that at the start but oh well). The pictures are under the cut for those interested, you'll see that I continue with the usual "Mon-Thurs with a 3 day break at the end of the week" routine for Round 2, and then Rounds 3 and 4 are going to be one poll everyday with (almost) no breaks, and then there's going to be some break time before the semifinals, and then the finals will be on November 4th. Sorry if it's all kinda confusing, scheduling a tournament turned out to be a lot more complicated than I thought it'd be lmao

[your-subby-creature]

All the Dad(dy) bloggers getting hyped for father's day is so fun and cool, you all are so sexy and also need to come fuck me NOW

[roboraindrop]

One day.... One day he will be mine..... Djdbsksh

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Human pet guy showed up on my dash again (via puppy play sick skateboard tricks post) and I decided to look at what he was up to these days, and

what do you mean he was born in 1995?

[fire-branded]

Continued from here:

There were times when it felt as though his dear wife and he were a world apart -- not just because of the differences in society and customs between Oriflamme and Rosalith, but also because of their differences in opinions. Elwin tried never to take the Archduchess's absences during his departures and upon his returns to heart, because he did understand her stance when it came to the matter of him leading campaigns himself. And though he wished he could bring himself to respect Nunnally's wishes and remain behind, it was one of few decisions that he found himself unable to compromise on. After all, how could he sit behind while knowing that others fought so hard out on the battlefield on their behalf?

If it was House Rosfield's age-old duty to serve and defend the Grand Duchy's people, then he would do so unflinchingly, just as his father and their forebears had done. But there was now something else, too -- a desire, a yearning, to protect Nunnally as well(not that she needed it. She was far more than capable of taking care of herself, a fact which had made him admire her from their first chance meeting, and continued to do so onward 'til this very day). Along this same vein, he found himself thinking more and more of seeing her again during his times away, and it was this thought above all others that urged him to return, no matter what.

In this, he finally fully understood first-hand the sentiments shared by his men, when they spoke fondly of their families back home and held close to their hearts the love of those who awaited them.

Home is not a place; it is the people within it.

Elwin respected Nunnally far too much to demand her presence in public during farewells and greetings. It was something that he wanted her to choose for herself whether or not to do, social etiquette be damned. Besides -- their private moments were more than enough to see him through, to fill his heart with warmth enough to weather even the coldest winters of the far north.

The weight of his steps as he proceeded through the corridors seemed to lighten as the Archduke drew nearer to their chambers, until his fatigue seemed all but gone. The door was eased quietly open, allowing him to enter; no sooner had he crossed the threshold and closed the door behind him then Nunnally was right there with him. Waiting for him here, perhaps, as she had done on their first night of marriage. And in that moment, time felt as though it was slowed down, and Elwin's heart leapt within his chest just as it had back then. Nunnally's natural radiance shown bright as the sun; but it was more than just physical beauty. No, it was so much more than that. When that slender little hand graced him with her touch, the shyness found within her kiss was mirrored by a shy aversion of his gaze. When she spoke, he held each word as dearly as he now held her -- because with a slight shift of stance, his arms wrapped around her to bring her as close as possible. Even her very smile brought a sense of comfort and ease to the man, and it was a beautiful sight to behold, one he would never grow tired of seeing.

In her arms, he was home.

And then a bout of playfulness washed over him. Breaking into a warm smile, and with a soft and adoring expression, Elwin's hands held her waist. Then he lifted his wife so that he could twirl around with her. Was it unbecoming behavior of the rulers of a nation? Maybe so. But their private chambers were, as far as he was concerned, a sort of refuge from the scrutinizing eyes of the nobles in particular, where they could place aside their titles and ranks and simply be.

Politics and other discussions about the state of the realm(particularly where Sanbreque and Rosaria were concerned) could wait. In this moment, he was not Archduke Elwin Rosfield; he was simply Elwin, overjoyed to be in the company of his wife. In this moment... In this deeply personal moment, she was simply Nunnally. He could only hope that the woman would forgive him for viewing her as such, rather than thinking of her only as Her Royal Highness Nunnally Lesage, or Archduchess Nunnally Rosfield.

When Nunnally's feet were returned to the floor, he wasted no time in lifting his hands to her face. With utmost gentleness, her husband cradled it within calloused palms, even as he leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.

"You need not apologize, my dear," Elwin assured, a sentiment punctuated by a kiss to her lips -- lingered there a moment longer to enjoy the softness of hers. Then he nuzzled the tip of his nose playfully against hers before going on to quietly tease: "I missed you as well. Though I deeply appreciate your kindness and consideration... pray permit me to stay here a little longer with you -- if my lady is able to forgive the scent of chocobo, that is."

@lured-into-wonderland

[itsohh]

I'm going to chop of Ubisoft's dick I swear to god.

You know what? This isn't a terrible change. With the addition of Thorn, Lesion did feel a little meh. So it's nice to have another mechanical trap operator. These changes does kinda bring him back to more OG style but at the same time: lol echo treatment invisible get fucked.

I do love the super shorty as a secondary.

I mean this will make my friend really happy, she's always complaining about the inconsistencies of shotguns. Idk how I feel about the ads improvement. I feel like this is something I'm gonna have to experience in game to decide as it could make or break shotguns. (Ubisoft if you ever even THINK about touching the BOSG I will hurt you.)

Now for the shit I hate. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIIISSS CUNNNTTT??? Like bro if I'm the only one setting up then there's no way imma have time to do it??? Also revealing to the attackers??? Talk about a fucking nerf to mute and Solis. Like your better off leaving your drone at spawn now and picking it up to drone later on when u get close. Unlike your rushing there's no point. Being on to it and killing all drones in prep phase then having the object hidden used to be a strategic reward. I've had matches win because attacks didn't actually know where the objective was and vice versa.

Like I get this is a solution to a problem that they have created but FUCK OFF literally quick match was completely FINE. It's quick because it didn't go a maximum of NINE ROUNDS. This is such some BS babying level stuff. Like sure spawn peaks and run outs can be annoying but that's part of the game. You can counter them, like YES you should be checking every window! Your in fucking training for combat! If your invun for the beginning of the round what if your Kali and just long range snipe??? Like I can see this going wrong for plane.

I mean... Now that comp rank doesn't mean anything I can understand the changes with unranked cause no one plays it but also??? I want to play like quickplay the way it is now, if 'standard' is still the same length as comp then idk man that's gonna suck.

If standards legit just current quickplay then they really should have just been like 'unranks removed we now have baby mode'

Idk what maps have been removed but I swear to god if they touch my boys Tower and Plane I'm gonna cry. I know it's a controversial take by I love both of those two map as is. (And plane got a rework not too long ago) They can take stadium tho. Take it out back and put it down because it's the worst map in the game.

I'm just confused by those 'base changes' what does this apply to? Everything? Are they removing bans from the game???? Same with the overtime thing is this for all game modes, like comp and unranked or????

Idk what clearance level is?

I feel like Ubisoft is reworking the game so much like at this point.... Just make another game lmao. I guess then there's always the fear of the ow2 syndom so I understand but then r6s is a really old game. This sucks cause like I love the game I do (I know it's a bad game) but a the same time this doesn't make me excited to play the game. It feel like it's audience is being reduced, like I love hehe funny skin pizza mozzie gaming but those premap set up cookie cutter shit? I fucking hate that. I bet the roations aren't gonna be where I like it either.

Ive been playing a little bit of comp recently but I've always been a quick play player. I could forgive the recent operators being so...eh.

Like don't get me strong Solis is really strong pick but I hated the addition of her and Brava SO much. Solis isn't to bad but Brava? I hate her addition. On both attack and defence, like why would you ever pick twitch anymore? Twitch doesn't even have any like really good guns either. She has the marksman I guess but all her guns are meh.

Fenrir I feel like is just a glorified proximity mine 80% of the time. He's just kinda eh and meh. His ability doesn't activate fast enough to normally be a big threat and then the fact you don't get his codes back is lame.

Grim is a niche, he's not bad. I just feel like he isn't that fun to play? I think him getting stickies is cool but I still feel like people won't play him.

Sens is powerful AF in a 5 stack with good coms. But without coms? I feel like their good for like a couple of strats but they aren't very versatile and are a very situation operator.

Like these operators aren't bad but I feel like they don't really add to the game in a positive way. Perhaps it's just a personal preference but idk I don't find any of them fun. I'm not running to try play them. I don't feel like the game has gotten better with their additions. Just worse.

(I hate Brava (gameplay wise) so much. On both attacking and defending)

First thoughts on Ram was 'oh an operator that focus's on playing vertical that's good we don't have- wait yes we do, there's sledge'

After this shocking revelation she's a weird automated version of sledge idk how to feel about it. I don't think she's gonna be picked much after initial release. I think she's going on the bench with Senz.

I'm still gonna play the game but like R6S vs CoD on a fight to see who can kill their game the fastest.

I hate being that guy but I do miss the way the game used to be when I started, I miss the UI. I miss being able to pick your fire mode, I miss old house I miss old consulate. I miss not having to worry if my own claymores gonna kill me, I miss the sense of accomplishment in the game.

Like I started playing just before Oyrx was released (hate Oryx players btw because they always break above hatch and then attackers get the advantage when they take it) and the games lost so much charm? Im glad they are tying to get out that entire 'stadium eSports incorporated into lore' phase but I feel like Ubisoft has an idea for the games future and it's just not a place I like.

I mean sure the games dying and I think addressing the RNG with shotguns is a nice step (that being said I like the risk vs rewards with them tbh) but at the same time if they addressed the true biggest problem things could change

That right

TICK RATE BABY

UBISOFT INCREASE YOUR TICK RATE FOR THE GAME. FIX YOUR DOG SERVERS TOO.

If they just went and fixed all their shitty bugs, if they didn't make the game feel like it was on early access it would be sooo much nicer. Like ngl? CoD? Feels like it registers properly, it's poorly optimised and horribly unbalanced ptw ect ect but the fact it feels like I registers my shit? Breath of fresh air sometimes. R6S could have been soooo good if they just hardcore fixed all their bugs glitches, server issues and tick rate. Like I shouldn't be able to look do and slightly to the left and then melee through a shield.

Old man yells at a cloud but come on man, don't fuck with my quick play.

[motoroil-recs]

Did all the requests I could today, hopefully I can get more done over the weekend, I don't like having requests older than a week in my inbox. Once I'm down to single digits again I might try out other request types, but I've been debating what I should try...

[waveoftreasures]

I’m seeing critical thinking posts about ACOTAR (which I love, it’s never bad to be critical of the things you like and sjm books have some hard pressed ones😬) and some keep bringing up that it feels like a fanfic of something else and!!! IT IS MY DUDES ITS LITERALLY SAILOR MOON.

The cauldron is literally just the galaxy cauldron reskinned!!! Velaris is based off of Crystal Tokyo!! Feyre is pretty much Usagi, with Rhys having a lot in common with Mamoru. Like I’m pretty sure it’s been talked about in the past but imma bring it up again LOL SJM used to write sailor moon ff back in the day, that’s why ACOTAR reads like one. It’s literally just sailor moon fan fiction reformatted.

Like whole battle in ACOWAR is just the Cosmos/Stars story arc in a nutshell with more blood and violence.

Also this isn’t me singing the books praises, there’s a lot of stuff I find issues in with her writing (don’t even get me started on the blatantly terrible attempts at “representation”). I’m just an aro/ace who read them for the politics and characters 😂

[lorebird]

WHY R THERE SO MANY NOTES ON MY HARVEY PAINTING....... HELLO THERE

[last-flight-of-fancy]

Backstory exploration time for WoL~

WoL: Hallima, he/they Au Ra

Timeline: Heavensward up to Dark Knight Level 50 (Wages of Mercy)

Hallima thought he was some sort of mutation his whole life. There might be some trauma around that.

Hallima was an orphan.

Well, he is an orphan. It's not like this fact has changed- he may have gained some troublesome pseudo-siblings recently, but the fact remains that Hallima spent a great deal of his life until recently hopping from town to town taking odd jobs from whoever would hire him to get by.

He considers himself lucky, in a way. He's hardier than the average eorzean, covered in scales and thick skin, and most illnesses seem to pass him by. It offered him advantages most wandering urchin's simply don't have. That said however, he is not immune to things like exhaustion and hunger, and it was not without the ocassional helping hand that he had made it to adulthood.

He considers himself lucky to have made it to adulthood at all.

People rarely ask him about his past, a fact he is quietly grateful for. The calamity had rendered so many with lost loved ones that it has become considered somewhat gouche to ask after such things unless needed. Perhaps that's why it surprised him so much when Alphinaud- prim, proper, polite, Alphinaud- had done exactly that late one night as they rested in the Fortemps residence.

"Does anyone worry for you?" He asks, laying on his back in his cot and staring at the darkned ceilings. Hallima looks up from the weapon he's doing some maintenance on, lit by only a dim candle on a nearby table.

"Why?" A practiced evasion, though it feels somewhat wrong to use on Alphinaud in particular. To say he's come to care about the kid would be something of an understatement.

"Ah, that was rude, wasn't it? I'm sorry. I just... started thinking about Alisaie and wondering what she's doing... if the Crystal Braves had targeted her too..."

Hallima hums softly to indicate he's listening. A thought spiral, common to these sorts of late hours, and considering everything that has happened... He gets it.

"Then I wondered if she worries for us in turn... And then I realised how silly that was. She sent the carraige for us, of course she worries. Not that she would admit it, mind."

That tracks from what Hallima has seen of the girl. Stubborn and independant, but fiercly loyal besides. He's met the type before.

"Anyroad, the thought crossed my mind and it left my mouth before I could consider it. Forgive me."

"It's fine." The darkness within writhes at the lie, but is mollified with a glance towards Alphinaud's contrition, mixed with his own fear and anxiety hidden just beneath the surface. "... No. No one worries for me."

"I see." Alphinaud sits up then, and the candlelight makes the bags under his eyes all the more distinct, but it does not lessen the earnestness of his gaze. "Well. You may increase that number by at least one."

Hallima doesn't really know how to react in the face of Alphinaud's sincerity, so he gives a generic smile and a thank you before encouraging the boy to try and sleep once more. It's only after Alphinaud's breathing slows into a steady snore that Hallima smothers the candle with a bare hand and lets the mask drop.

-

Hallima grew up thinking he was some form of monster with ideas above its station. Or perhaps a Mi'quote who's fur turned hard and rough instead of soft and downy. Or any number of things that might occur to a child who has never met anyone quite like them. By the time he hit adulthood, Hallima thought that he had come to terms with the reality that he would probably never know.

And then he'd met Yugiri, who kept her face covered at all times, but there was no mistaking the rough texture of her tail or the shape of things beneath her hood which are too stiff and improperly placed to be even the strangest of mi'quote ears.

Hallima had not asked.

She had stared at him, long and hard, and in the end she hadn't asked either.

(or maybe she had, in her own surreptious way. She was an expert ninja and infiltrator after all)

Why hadn't Hallima asked, despite his suspicions? He's still not sure.

He can imagine the scoffing his companions would give if he told them it was fear.

He has no other words for it, though.

-

Hallima looks into Fray's face- their face- and feels at once rage and grief. His face, their face, and one both familiar and not. It tugs at memories long buried, and Hallima doesn't want them.

Reality has never cared much for such things, however.

Fray- or rather, Esteem- falls defeated, and two become one once more.

-

Hallima's earliest memories are of horrible, biting cold and numb fingers that he cannot bend.

-

There's no time for that, not with the war between Ishgard and the Dragons looming ever present.

-

Midgardsormer had called them kin.

-

Meeting Sidurgu was like looking into an inverted mirror, and after their experiance with Esteem there is an undeniable moment where Hallima is sure that their other has somehow made their own form somehow.

This is not the case.

Sidurgu asks their help with Rielle -the girl soft and familiar in ways that Hallima can't quite pinpoint- and they quickly agree. They see the bond between the two easily, one simultaneously fireforged and silk-web delicate, and want to protect it.

(They do not say this. Sidurgu would probably hate the sentiment. but still the sentiment remains).

But then Sidurgu tells them of his people's arrival in Ishgard, fleeing the Empire and seeking refuge, only to be cut down by fearful Ishgardians who assumed them in league with the dragons.

"Everyone." Sidurgu stresses. "Man, woman, child. None escaped the slaughter."

Hallima's earliest memories are of freezing cold, staggering through snow drifts and desperately alone.

They do not ask.

[dootznbootz]

I know I gotta do things but I really don't WANT to do the things 😞

[adolins-heart]

I have on. More than one occasion with more than one therapist had a therapist ask me probing questions along the lines of if I'm missing gaps of time or have times where I black out bc the level of dissociation and depersonalization is so. Out there. They gotta check

[perditionanddiatribes]

THE WRAPPED IS HERE AND I GOT CALLED A YEARNING FAG