#AND ALSO. THOSE PEOPLE NEED TO START COMPROMISING THEIR MORALS AND ACCEPT THE MONEY
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"bweh bweh bweh bweh myeh weh the left needs a joe rogan" OKAY???!!! THEN GIVE MONEY TO ANY ONE OF THE HUNDREDS OF PUBLIC EDUCATORS OR COMMENTATORS IN THE LEFTIST NEWS/ENTERTAINMENT SPHERE!!!!!! ACTUALLY ENGAGE AND SHARE IN THEIR WORK!!!!!!!! IT'S THAT EASY!!!!!!!!!!!
#da#AND ALSO. THOSE PEOPLE NEED TO START COMPROMISING THEIR MORALS AND ACCEPT THE MONEY#literally will never not be mad at the socialist youtuber who said they were quitting when they got too big and wanted to stay working class#THEN FUCKING GIVE THAT EXCESS MONEY YOU DON'T THINK YOU NEED TO SOME GD MUTUAL AID ORGS GRASSROOTS CAUSES OR WHATEVER YOU CARE ABOUT#GOD!!! DAMN!!!!! STOP SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT CAUSE IT'S RICOCHETING ALL TF OVER NIMROD#I AHTE THAT PERSON SO SO SO SOSO DEEPLY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.#ugh I guess I don't Hate them but omfg. get tf over yourself. that's the most useless wretched thing you could do is shy away from success#this is literally why the left is floundering. we don't get or have any money in the first place#then dorky communists think having 100 excess dollars is eat the rich money#SHUT UP!!!!!!!ÂĄ!!!ÂĄ!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Biggest Problem With replica bags, And How You Can Fix It
In my seek out the right bag, Iâve seen an array of unique bags â from designer handbags to duplicate luggage.â I lately stumbled upon a replica bag which i liked a great deal and it had been the ideal bargain ever.â
Receiving the bag felt like a great victory for me Individually since I'd spent months doing investigation and not with the ability to find the perfect bag.â But Once i observed this replica bag, I understood my lookup was over.â
The quality of the bag was astounding â it was manufactured with serious leather-based, the stitches have been best plus the zippers labored efficiently.â I was really speechless.â And After i picked it up, it absolutely was similar to a dream appear true.â
The texture of this replica bag was so high-class plus the mesmerizing imprint made me really feel like 1,000,000 bucks.â It absolutely was like having a designer bag with no hefty selling price tag.â
I used to be over the moon Once i wore it for The 1st time â the praise I received was frustrating and other people could not think it After i informed them it had been a duplicate bag.â
If you are purchasing a replica bag, you have to make sure that the quality is good.â A lot of occasions, the quality of the bag can be compromised to reduce the Expense.â But using this bag, excellent was definitely not compromised.â
I also felt very pleased supporting the duplicate bag community.â Getting the reliable come to feel of the real bags without needing to shell out substantial amounts for them was empowering.â I sense like I'd gotten a true steal.â
I have always had a fascination with designer bags.âEven so, I usually imagined a large number of of these were fake.â On occasion I have found luggage that were supposedly designer items which were anything but authentic.âOnce i lately decided to buy a One more bag for myself, I immediately started to question if I actually must expend all that cash on an genuine bag.â
My Buddy proposed which i go for the faux bags as opposed to the true ones.â She explained, "They appear to be designer bags, However they're way cheaper.â" She additional that you may under no circumstances truly inform the distinction between the bogus baggage and the real kinds.â
I felt style of undesirable about buying a faux bag.âIt wasn't a little something I might ordinarily do, but I was intrigued by the concept of getting a "designer" bag that didn't Price an arm and a leg.â I believed how excellent it would be to flaunt the exact same bag that famous people are carrying, but to get a portion of the price.â
So I decided I'd give it a check out.âI went to the store and located what I had been looking for: a substantial fake leather-based bag with intricate facts as well as a designer symbol.âI was absolutely amazed at the caliber of the bag and couldn't think how much cheaper it absolutely was when compared to the genuine a person.â
I felt proud of my choice to buy the pretend bag as I left The shop.â Don't just did I conserve lots of money, but I had been also equipped to obtain a bag that seemed and felt specifically similar to replica bags designer a serious designer bag.â
As I started to use my fake bag, I discovered that it had been remarkably long lasting and in a position to resist loads of use and tear.âEvery time I took it out, I discovered people today's eyes on me, plus they could not inform whether or not it absolutely was the real deal or not.â That gave me One more degree of fulfillment!
___
I thought it absolutely was wonderful which i was able to get my fingers on a designer bag without breaking the bank.âBut then I thought a lot more deeply about why I felt that purchasing a fake bag was acceptable.âI regarded the implications of the phony bag, seen from two perspectives: both of those moral, and lawful.â
I considered how the fashion field functions and what takes place when fake baggage are obtained in masses.â It happens to me that this kind of demand for fake merchandise encouraged corporations to generate more fake merchandise, and it froces the makers of desginer baggage to lessen their costs, generating their genuine items much less fascinating.â
Consequently, I reasoned that purchasing the phony bag was not simply Incorrect lawfully and ethically, but Additionally, it detrimental for the field, mainly because it encourages an unfair atmosphere.âOnce i thought of it additional,I began to truly feel not comfortable about my obtain.â
I concluded that it wasn't truly worth the chance of damaging individuals that work hard to bring wonderful and distinctive luggage to the general public.âBut I also realized that it was often sensible to search for an alternative for whatsoever will make us buy a bogus designer bag: looking into, trying to find much less expensive alternatives, and contemplating distinct points of views.â
The following time I go out of my strategy to purchase a bag, I'm likely to be really mindful of what I buy.âI would like to be sure that I'm purchasing a product from the reputable brand name which includes taken some time to make some thing exclusive and exquisite.âLike that I realize I'm supporting the fashion market as an alternative to aiding the bogus products current market.â
Moreover, considering The existing pandemic condition, I believed it was best to go for a reproduction bag in lieu of a designer one.â There are so many solutions available you can get your fingers on just one without the need of expending a lot of.â
The craftsmanship about the reproduction bag was exquisite, and it absolutely was designed with these precision and perfection that it was difficult to make out it absolutely was a replica bag.â The sturdiness was superb, as well.â
The bag was also really purposeful and it experienced dozens of sections to shop all kinds of products, starting from my wallet to my makeup.â Not forgetting The trick pockets for my keys and cellphone.â
When I traveled with it, I had to be aware of my belongings, identical to I'd personally do with another bag.â Moreover, it had been lightweight, so it was simple to carry and not bulky.â
I think replica bags can be quite a good alternative if you need a bag inside of a pinch.â You donât have to miss out on quality Because you donât Have got a enormous budget.â And Also they are a great way to guidance the duplicate bag Local community.â
Once i had issue selecting concerning two bags, I immediately opted to the replica bag.â There have been an abundance of options available, so I could simply Examine the capabilities.â Plus, it absolutely was comparatively less expensive.â
I was instantly amazed Together with the craftsmanship from the reproduction bag I had purchased.â The leather was exquisite, so luxe and astonishingly tough.â As well as The gorgeous design.â
The feel, seem and the texture from the reproduction bag designed my coronary heart melt.â Iâve experienced it for a handful of months now and itâs nevertheless as good as new.â Itâs so interesting that these high quality can be present in the replica bag way too.â
What I love in regards to the reproduction bag is it seems to be designer, but with a median selling price tag.â I donât need to come to feel guilty about expending plenty of money on a substantial-close bag due to the fact I might get a trendy and stylish duplicate that is still tough and of wonderful high quality.â
A further good function of reproduction bags is that they present a lot of benefit for revenue.â It is a terrific way to obtain a designer type bag without having shelling out significant bucks for it.â Additionally, they can be found in quite a few outlets and on line retail stores.â
I locate the replica bags are a great way to insert a designer touch towards your glimpse without the need of breaking the bank.â You donât have to compromise on style and good quality if you Select a replica bag.â
Deriving inspiration from huge models, replica bags are available in lots of assortment to match various aesthetics and Choices.â Yow will discover one which suits your fashion while not having to shell out an outrageous price.â
I discover reproduction bags to be an incredible solution Once i am sensation a little low in budget but choose to glance my very best.â I donât have to hold again my design when I can get these magnificent parts in a fraction of the cost of the designer originals.â
The better part is you could however get large-good quality baggage once you choose a replica.â With the ability to use a stylish bag without needing to concern yourself with the high-priced price tag tag is a giant plus.â
So as you are able to see, There are tons of Positive aspects to buying reproduction bags.â Certainly, you have to be aware of the standard as well as the resources but if you need to do your analysis, you will find terrific discounts and astounding items without having Substantially work.â
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đ° for Cio & đ” for Kerra and Nisha :3
:D :3!!
đ° If your OC had all the money they could ask for what would they do with it? Where would they go and what would they buy? Are they the only one who benefits from this wealth?
I'm laughing at myself right now because the first answer I came up with was "buy the Arcane Council" xD Realistically, though, Cio wouldn't bother. She doesn't rely on or need them enough to make compromising her morals worth it.
To answer more seriously, she'd use the money to work on her own engineering projects as needed (gyro improvement, rifle tech, dragon magic, etc.), for one. She'd also put a good deal of it toward either modifications she thinks are necessary to make to the asuran colleges or setting up her own smaller school system. It's not something she's really considered at this point at all because a) she doesn't have the funding and b) it seems very out of reach as a project, but she'd love to try to build somewhere new that'd have no qualms with instructing students other than asura. And she's very much like Liv in that she wouldn't want to stop working either! She's quite happy with the machine/odd jobs shop she currently runs with Ari :)
đ” Are there any rumors about your OC hanging around? Nasty ones or just good humored? Got any gossip to share about them?
For Kerra - oh, definitely. Exactly what she is and isn't capable of is somewhat up in the air for the average Tyrian, so any rumor from her being a god to being immortal to being some sort of fake that Really Died in 1328 (Not Clickbait??) has gone around. Most people don't really believe those, but there's still a lot of speculation since there's a very small group of people who've actually ever seen the Commander at full power. This one goes for both her and Nisha, but there were plenty of people who gossiped about them and Canach both before and after they were officially a public romantic trio--some positive, some curious, some negative or rude. Kerra ignored most of those, but ones she'll push back against Real Quick are any nasty ones that people decide to spread about her kids--not directly ones about her, but still relevant to the sentiment of the question. (Also relevant to Nisha, haha.) As for another personal rumor/gossip thingy, some sylvari kinda...mythologize Kerra's connection to the Dream a little. She doesn't care for that either, and it's one of the things she's more than happy to correct once she starts traveling to the Grove every month to give lessons to the saplings.
For Nisha - also definitely, a couple of which I mentioned in the above paragraph, but there's some specific-to-Nisha ones as well. Most of the Pact was very accepting of xem becoming Marshal post-HoT after xe showed off xyr leadership skills in Maguuma. But every once in a while during the time period xe served in that position, there were rumors that xe wasn't capable enough, or was dangerous, or dangerous and incapable. They got squashed pretty quickly just due to the evidence of Nisha's capability serving as a contradiction, but they popped up more than once and certainly bothered xem. There's also the rumors that xe's a stricter/harsher person than xe actually is, and a few nastier variants from sylvari who see Nisha's Soundless-adjacent status as odd, but most of that doesn't bother Nisha too much, if only because most of it doesn't make it all the way to xem.
#gw2#cioffi#kerralind#nishannai#i-mybrunettelady#thanks a bunch for the ask! :D#hope these paragraphs are coherent; gonna go grab dinner now so i can think clearer xD but i wanted to finish this first!
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Forbidden Romance pt4 / On AO3
Lan Wangji was predictably furious when his brother confessed to him that he had everything that had happened in recent months. That anger was for the most directed toward Lan elders, but Lan Xichen felt his brother had to also be disappointed in him for making so many compromises. Had their places been reversed, Lan Wangjiâs closed expression seemed to say, he would have stood for justice at any cost. Had it been anyone else, Lan Xichen would have dismissed this as an empty boast, the sort every cultivator would do when they werenât in such a position. But this was Lan Wangji, and he bore on his back the proof of his dedication to his convictions even if it meant going against their elders, something Lan Xichen hadnât had the strength to do.
Or perhaps it was just Lan Xichenâs guilt speaking. His brother only said a few words, having grown more silent than ever during his forced seclusion, but not a single one of those words aimed to condemn his brother. Instead he asked for details about the plot that had nearly killed Nie Mingjue, and asked why his brother had chosen to reveal all of this after keeping the secret for so long.
âHm. Nie Huaisang,â was Lan Wangjiâs only comment when Lan Xichen shared the plan hatched to protect his brother and his nephew.
His tone was neither warm nor cold, but it was knowing. It was not something the two of them had ever discussed, that shared preference for men. They had also never really talked about the targets of that preference, neither really understanding why the other would want such a partner, but trying to be supportive in spite of it.
âAre you sure?â Lan Wangji asked about the plan. That he needed to ask at all said a lot about the amount of trust he placed in Nie Huaisangâs word, Lan Xichen thought.
He couldnât even blame his brother. Lan Xichen knew Nie Huaisangâs reputation as lazy and indolent, and wouldnât argue that it wasn't at least somewhat justified. But weak cultivation and lack of taste for martial arts didnât mean Nie Huaisang couldnât be depended on when necessary.
âIâm sure,â Lan Xichen said.
It was enough for his brother, who expressed no further doubts.
Having agreed on a plan to follow, preparations were quickly made to allow Lan Wangji a chance to leave the Cloud Recesses undetected, and to ensure his departure wouldnât be noticed too quickly. Lan Xichen gave his brother a hefty sum of money to cover any expenditures he might encounter on the way to Qinghe, as much food as he had been able to take without attracting attention, and his personal jade token so Lan Wangji could leave without going through the main gate.Â
Regarding Lan Yuan too, arrangements had been made. Lan Xichen had taken the child from his class that very afternoon, declaring that he intended on spending the next few days personally teaching him. Since the little boy was largely suspected of being Lan Wangjiâs bastard son, it did not surprise anyone that Lan Xichen would wish to supervise his education.Â
He had worried that his uncle would notice Lan Yuanâs absence since they lived together, but Lan Qiren had been so busy these recently that Lan Xichen hardly ever saw him. And even if he noticed the child was missing, Lan Qiren would surely understand and hold his tongue. It was then only a matter of bringing the little boy to his father in the middle of the night, and wishing them both a safe journey. Lan Wangji had recuperated a great deal from his wounds, and though he wasnât yet in perfect health, he was strong enough to arrive to Qinghe in a few days, even if he had to carry a child while flying.
For three days, Lan Xichen hid his brotherâs escape. It took a little work to make sure meals appeared to have been consumed, but at least doctors no longer needed to attend Lan Wangji as frequently as they once did, and nobody else ever came to visit him.
On the morning of the fourth day, Lan Xichen dressed carefully to make himself look older and more respectable, and put on a guan that had once belonged to his grandfather. He opened the Hanshiâs determined to demand that the council meet him, so he could finally reveal everything he had learned about the plot against Nie Mingjue and force them to accept that their sect would be morally in the wrong if they persisted in refusing to choose a side. He would not back down, not this time. His brother, his best friend, and his true love were counting on him. Lan Xichen could not disappoint them, not again. He wouldâŠ
âThe elders are requesting your presence for a council,â a disciple informed him as soon as he stepped outside. âSome urgent news has arrived regarding recent events.â
A slight change of plan. Lan Xichen was equal parts aggravated and relieved. He would have liked to be the one making demands for once, but there was no certainty that the council of elders would have gathered merely because he asked for it.
Lan Xichen promptly made his way to meet the elders, and apologised for his tardiness when he entered the room where they had gathered. After exchanging a glance with his uncle, who appeared just as ignorant of this new matter, Lan Xichen went to sit at his place, on a dai that raised him above the elders. And yet, it was toward Lan Xiaofan  that every eyes turned, knowing as they all did that his opinion held more weight than that of the boy they used as a figurehead.
âTwo pieces of news have reached us early this morning,â Lan Xiaofan somberly announced. âThe first is that Lanling Jin has also started speaking of going to war. They say Qinghe Nie has kidnapped their sect leaderâs grandson and heir, Jin Ling.â
âA serious accusation,â Lan Xichen retorted, certain Nie Huaisang would have known about that if it were true, and that he would have warned him. âWhat proof is there?â
Lan Xiaofan hesitated, surprised by his sect leaderâs defiant tone, or perhaps by the very fact that Lan Xichen would dare to speak without invitation.
âThe proof is that the child is missing, and the Nie are their only enemies.â
âSo we are to take the absence of proof as a proof?â
The old men glared at Lan Xichen, who innocently smiled at them in return. Heâd never understood how some people could just say rude things, be wilfully insolent, or do whatever they pleased without consideration for the will of others, but he was starting to understand the thrill of it. There was something absolutely delicious in daring to say the things that were on his mind, instead of just reciting what he knew people wanted to hear.
It was addictive, and he suddenly felt new sympathy for Wei Wuxian.
âNie Mingjue has gone mad, and is capable of nearly anything at this point,â someone said. âEven harming a child, if thatâs what it takes to destroy the one sect that stands between him and power.â
âDa-ge isnât doing this for power,â Lan Xichen protested.
âAfter heâs kidnapped that child, can you really believe his story about a murder attempt?â
âI do, and I know there was a witness to that attempt,â Lan Xichen proclaimed. âI have talked with him, he was there when it started, and helped me understand how the attempt was made.â
That, at last, silenced the elders. It gave Lan Xichen some hope. They werenât enemies, he reminded himself, and they were not cruel by nature either. They were just trying to make the best possible decision for their sect, just like him, and when they were told with no uncertainty how the whole thing had unfolded, they would finally side with Nie Mingjue.
âWho is that witness?â Lan Qiren asked.
âNie Mingjueâs own brother. He's heard me play Cleansing and was surprised to find it different from what Jin Guangyao had been playing for Da-ge. We talked about it, he shared the melody he remembers with me, and if you let me share it with you, you will surely agree thatâŠâ
âWell, that was the second news we wanted to discuss today,â Lan Xiaofan said. âNie Mingjue has apparently found his brother conspiring against his life and imprisoned him.â
Lan Xichenâs blood turned to ice.
âThatâs impossible,â he whispered, the words difficult to even get out. âHuaisang was just⊠and Da-ge trusts him. He knows Huaisang would never hurt him!â
âNie Mingjue is unstable, and his brother was a little too fond of that Guangyao before this incident. Not to mention it could be that if there was an assassination attempt, might it not make more sense indeed if it came from within? Theyâre only half brothers, letâs not forget that. Nie Huaisang could easily have gotten involved into a coup against his brother, only to try and blame it on the Jins. But in the end, if they are torn apart it is no concern of ours.â
It was certainly Lan Xichenâs concern. He knew with the greatest certainty that Nie Huaisang would never do anything that might harm his brother, and it was something Nie Mingjue himself had professed more than once. Whenever heâd complained about his brotherâs perceived failings as a cultivator and clan heir, he would always balance it out by saying that at least Nie Huaisang was loyal, and they that they lived in a world where that quality was to be cherished.
Nie Huaisang couldnât have betrayed his brother.
As to whether Nie Mingjue might believe that he had⊠Before this whole debacle started, Lan Xichen would have found that equally impossible to imagine. But heâd seen the flashes of terror in Nie Huaisang whenever heâd spoken of his brother during their secret meetings, his ever growing desperation to quickly heal Nie Mingjue. And then there had been the way Nie Huaisang had clung to him when Lan Xichen had said they both needed to head home, as if something about returning to the Unclean Realm terrified him.
âSurely this whole situation has become complex enough that it needs to be investigated,â Lan Xichen insisted. âWe keep hearing different versions of events from different parties. Since we have announced ourselves to be neutral, then naturally we ought toâŠâ
âNeutrality might no longer be the better course of action,â Lan Xiaofan said. âNot when a childâs life is at stake, and Nie Mingjue is as unpredictable as a wounded beast. The Jins have been patient with us thus far, but they will not be forgiving if anything happens to their sect leader's grandson."
"But we don't even knowâŠ"Â
"Lan zongzhu has made his opinion clear,â Lan Xiaofan cut him with a glare. âHe may now stay silent as his elders discuss the situation with judgement unclouded by old preferences."Â
If it had only been him and those elders, Lan Xichen would not have let himself be silenced in that manner. Not again, not anymore. Not when his brother was out of their reach at last, while Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjueâs lives appeared in greater danger than ever before. But Lan Qiren, who was seated nearest to him, grabbed his wrist and looked at him in a manner that said the time for a fight hadn't come yet.Â
It struck Lan Xichen as odd. His uncle had, up to that point, made it clear to him that he would support his nephew, should he try to go against the council's wishes. He had promised he would find ways to keep Lan Wangji out of harm's way, at the cost of his own safety if need be. Lan Qiren had also been quite clear that out of the two sect leaders in conflict, he had always found Nie Mingjue to be the more honest one and could not imagine why that would have changed.Â
If his uncle suddenly no longer wished for direct opposition, he had to have his reasons. So Lan Xichen, with great effort, kept silent as old men discussed matters for which they refused to hear all the facts. It did not come as a surprise when, after wasting nearly all morning in useless arguments, they decided to remain neutral.Â
Unsurprising, but somehow disappointing. Had they sided with the Jins, Lan Xichen could have pretended a fit of anger and left to finally act as his conscience dictated. Instead, he would have to come up with a new plan to help his friend and his beloved.Â
As the council disbanded for the day, Lan Xichen started walking toward the Hanshi, wishing for a chance to be alone and think his next move. Before he had taken two steps, Lan Qiren grabbed him by the elbow and started pulling him in another direction, away from most buildings.Â
"Let's go for a walk," Lan Qiren ordered as they passed by the elders. "I have a few things to say about your behaviour earlier."
Tempting as it was to refuse, Lan Xichen obediently followed, and tried to appear contrite at the perspective of a scolding. They walked together in silence, leaving behind the heart of the Cloud Recesses. The path had a certain familiarity to it, but Lan Xichen was so preoccupied that did not realise where they were headed until a small house came into view, isolated and surrounded by gentians.
Lan Xichen slowed, staring at his motherâs prison.
A terrifying thought immediately crossed his mind, about Wangji being caught, or getting wounded and being forced to secretly return to the Cloud Recesses, relying on their uncle to hide him. That house had sat untouched for years, young disciples avoided it if possible, elders behaved as if it didn't exist. Lan Wangji had been the only one to regularly come there to ensure it didn't fall in disrepair before his punishment, sometimes dragging Lan Xichen with him. Lan Qiren, certainly, had no love for that house, and wouldn't have come there unless forced.Â
"Do we have a guest, uncle?" Lan Xichen asked in an unsteady voice.Â
"Something of the sort. A visitor the elders need not know of."
Now in a near panic, Lan Xichen quickly made his way to the house, and opened the door without knocking. The house being small, there was only the one room, and nowhere to hide, so Lan Xichen could not have missed the sight of a young man seated on the bed. A young man who wasnât Lan Wangji. In fact, it might have been generous to even call him a man when he could hardly be more than fourteen or fifteen, or more likely younger and just tall for his age.
The teenager looked away from the book he was reading, and his face was one that Lan Xichen had seen before, though not one he would have paid much attention to. If not for the bright yellow robes he wore, embroidered with a peony, Lan Xichen might not have guessed so quickly who he was.
âXuanyu?â Lan Xichen gasped, before his eyes fell on the toddler currently napping on the teenagerâs lap. âAnd is that Jin Ling?â
Mo Xuanyu grimaced and glanced at Lan Qiren who made a gesture his nephew didnât quite see, all his attention being turned on Jin Ling.
âWell, you got one out of two right,â Mo Xuanyu announced with a smile that seemed familiar, though it did not belong on that face. âNot that Iâd expect anyone to guess. Even Lan-xiansheng took some convincing, but I was able to share some details that only I would have known, so heâŠâ
âOh no,â Lan Xichen said, seized by a horrible doubt. It made no sense, except in the way that everything was such a mess lately, and kept getting worse and worse. âOh no,â he repeated, pressing a hand to his mouth. âWei Wuxian?â
Mo Xuanyuâs sheepish smile was an answer, but not the one Lan Xichen would have preferred to get.
#xisang#lan xichen#lan qiren#and others#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#forbidden romance au#I have an ending planned for this but I need to think up what comes in the middle lol#jau writes
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Not Me: Chapter 4: More of This
CEO! Bucky x Wife! Reader
Summary: You finally have enough, and do the thing that you feel like will help you take matters into your own hands. In the meantime, Bucky is finding out things he never knew would be true, and some new issues appear.
Warnings: angst, confusion, swearing
Word Count: 2608
A/N: New chapter is finally here. Again, sorry for the delay, hope some of your questions will be answered after this chapter, and there is sooo much more coming!! Love you all guys!! xx
Series Masterlist __ Masterlist
< Previous Chapter
A week went by before you were able to function as usual. You and Bucky didnât share any more moments at home, like the first day of your sickness, and, as a matter of fact, you didnât even see him that much that week. You assumed he was at work, or at one of his bitchesâ place. And you didnât even care anymore. All you cared about was to finally do something for yourself. Youâve had enough of the abuse your father and Bucky put you through, and you were ready to free yourself.
You still wanted to work at Barnes & Clark, because it was something youâve always wanted to do, but you knew you would have to give it time before it was even a possibility. So the first logical step was to find a place on your own. You didnât want to share a living space with James anymore.
And although you havenât work for some time, you also didnât spend your own money during the marriage, so you could rent a place on your own without further issues. You knew you would be able to afford only about 6 months of life without a job alone in an apartment in New York, but you were also confident that with your background it couldnât be that difficult to find another job if Barnes & Clark werenât an option anymore.
You came across a studio in Brooklyn, and although the location wasnât the greatest, the apartment itself looked cosy and warm, something you couldnât say about your current house. You got in touch with the real estate agent, and when she showed it to you, you fell in love with it.
The whole process only took another week, and so it only took around two weeks after the house party for you to start doing your own thing. Bucky was still nowhere to be found, and if you heard him coming home, you scurried to your own room, not really having the energy to fake smiles in front of him anymore. Not when you had such a great plan on your mind.
Your father tried to reach during all that time, but you didnât want to listen to him anymore. You only picked it up two more times, to listen to him scold you for something he remembered about the party, and whenever heâd ask about you and James, you would say that everything was perfect and that you resolved the issues, naturally, and you were a good wife once again. Just like he liked.
You wanted to tell James, just for the old-time sakes. To tell him that you couldnât do this anymore and that you wanted a divorce, and that you were moving out. But he was nowhere to be found, and he didnât pick up his phone. You wanted to be worried, and you would if he didnât do that for the last 12 months- ignoring you every way he could. So you just sighed and picked up the last boxes on the floor, and marched out of the house, ready to start a new chapter in your life.
Bucky was exhausted. Between doing his normal job, trying to keep the company up and running even in the darker times for the economy, and trying to find any evidence that you were either behind or not involved in the things going on in his life, there was very little me-time he was getting. He rarely even came back home, he would just stay in his office where he used his sofa as a provisional bed. And it showed on his back which was hurting like the devil himself. But he knew he couldnât stop now.
There were things that needed his attention more than himself. He could get a good sleep when this was all over, one way or another.
Bucky had a board meeting that day, and he honestly couldnât imagine worse days than that. Board meetings were not only dull as fuck, but Bucky also hated to explain himself for the decisions he made. He knew he made them with the companyâs best interest in mind, and even though they sometimes didnât go as planned, Bucky would all make them again, if he had the chance.
When he came into the room, the board was already there. The board consisted of a few investors that have been with the company for years now, the director of the sales who was there more as moral support to Bucky and then his and your fathers. Even though they were both retired by now, they still held onto some percentage of the interests of the company, and so they were always there at the meetings.
At first, Bucky thought they were there to make sure that Bucky wasnât doing anything stupid and that he was keeping everything in line. But the more time passed, the more Bucky started to notice that some questions and some ideas coming from your fathers werenât as straight as Bucky would have wished. But he always ignored it, thinking the dads were just giving him a hard time in those meetings for the sake of it.
The meeting was mostly all about a potential deal they could strike with a Japanese publisher, that would help them distribute their books in Asia as well. Bucky saw it as a huge opportunity and was all in, but the longer the conversations went, the more obvious it was that the fathers werenât too excited about it.
âWe could publish them ourselves. All it takes is for you to grow a pair and decide that we build a publishing house there as well. What are you afraid of, son?â Mr Barnes asked Bucky, who was staring at him as if he just fell out of the sky.
âBecause that would take too many resources and we cannot be sure we would do well there. Wouldnât it be better if we signed a short-term deal with this buyer, we would see how itâd go over there, and if the profits were as great as you think they will, we could do all that? I donât see a fucking point in building something so fucking expensive when we donât know if it works or not,â Bucky hissed, clenching his fists under the table.
âAlright, letâs vote, if thatâs what you want, son,â your father said with an amused smirk.
Bucky didnât see the point, and he also didnât get why suddenly, there had to be a vote. Until now, there was no voting in the board meetings. They would sinus the best approach, agree on something and move on. But voting? That was a first.
âFine, whatever,â Bucky said tightly and waited. People around the room raised their hands in favour of Buckyâs idea, because, just as Bucky thought, it was the more logical one. But when he looked at the fathers in front of him, he could see that their smirks were still plastered on their faces.
âWe donât do this gladly, but we veto your vote, son. We truly believe that you shouldnât be so coward-like and do something bold, accept the consequences and just, do something,â Mr Barnes said, and gasps could be heard from all around the room.
âYou what? Iâm the fucking CEO if I remember correctly. The majority is on my side, you canât just waltz in here and veto something all of us agree on.â
âOh, but we can. Havenât you read the entire contract you signed when we gave you the company? We donât want to do it, but we still built this company from scratch. And so when we think that youâre leading it to certain death, we step in. And thatâs exactly what we just did. Weâll let you think about it, and we meet again next week and see if you all gained some perspective,â your father said, and with that, they both stood up and walked out of the door.
Bucky was staring at their backs, trying to find the right words for what just happened. Not only did he not see the clause in the contract, but he also didnât see them using it to undermine him in front of everyone. To say he was seething would be the understatement of the century. He let the people in the office go and just sat there, breathing deeply, trying to regain his composure.
When he finally felt like he wouldnât kill the first person he met on the hall, he got up and marched into his own office, looking for the contract. He wanted to see if there were other clauses like this one that he missed due to the elated state he was in when he first signed it.
He only got through the first two pages of the document before a knock sounded from the door. He didnât feel like answering it, but he knew that as a CEO (if he even was that) he had to take care of the company, no matter how betrayed or angry he felt.
But when he saw that it was his father again, he regretted ever saying come in.
âSon, donât be too angry. Just think about what we proposed, and we can talk about it again next week. You wouldnât want such a thing to run the company? Or worse, the family, would you? Donât go around being mad at your own dad!â Mr Barnes smiled at his son patting his shoulder, and Bucky just shook his head in response. Bucky was tired of always fighting everyone, so he remained quiet.
âBut thatâs not why Iâm here. New... issue appeared, so it seems. Weâve received another bunch of photos, and there is a new request so that they donât get posted online,â Mr Barnes said, and Buckyâs blood ran cold, suddenly.
There havenât been any photos or videos for some time now, and Bucky thought that it was all resolved.
âWhat is the request this time?â Bucky asked angrily. He couldnât understand how the same woman who seemed so meek and exasperated at home would be the same one sending him requests through family members.
Buckyâs father pulled out his phone and showed him the photos of his sister, Rebecca in new compromising positions. While she was still heavily using, Rebecca, his sweet, sweet Rebecca made some decisions, which werenât the greatest, to say the least. Sheâs been with a man that took photos of her, sheâs been at BDSM parties without signing any contracts beforehand, so there were multiple photos and videos of his beloved sister, splayed naked, doing God-knows-what with mostly various men.
Bucky felt physically sick, staring at the photos, and he had to look away.
His father took it as his cue, and he spoke up again.
âThis time, your beloved wife wants something much more, Iâm afraid. But she also insinuated that if you do this, it would be the last thing she ever asked of you, and she would give us all the materials she had on your sister.â
âSo. What. Is. It?!â Bucky accented every word, and not-so-patiently waited for what his father would say next.
âNow, she wants to have a baby with you. She wrote that sheâs been thinking about it for some time and that she thought a baby would make her happy. She said that right after the party she thought it could save your relationship, and she was probably scheming the whole thing in the meantime,â his father said, and when Bucky didnât reply, he got up.
âJust do this, and your sister§s reputation will be clean. We can buy the information the other people have of her, and she will finally be free of all of this. Be a good son, a good brother, and just sleep with your wife. But remember, donât ever talk about it with her. Sheâs crazy enough to actually post everything if you ever talked to her about this deal she stroke with us,â and with that Mr Barnes left Buckyâs office.
Buckyâs brain couldnât wrap around the whole thing. In the year of your marriage, you proved to be a vial person, through the point of view of your fathers and the image they were providing to Bucky.
But, suddenly, something didnât seem to add up to the whole story. Bucky saw you at home. You were seriously sick with the flu, and he could see that you couldnât even watch Netflix because of how tired you were. Even when you didnât see him, he would check up on you just to be sure you didnât die from the fever. And you were always asleep. So when did you have the time to think about something so stupid as a child? Especially after the fight you two had in the kitchen the night of the party.
Bucky didnât waste any more time and headed home. He was resolved to confront you, even if it meant you would publish some photos of Becca. Bucky needed answers, and he needed them now!
He practised the speech he wanted to give you the whole ride home, changing words and whole sentences not to make you too mad and to try and talk to you about your reasoning behind all of this. If you didnât demand the marriage year prior, and if you didnât do it through your fathers, Bucky actually thought you two could strike up some romance.
He thought about it all as he opened the door, but upon coming to the living room, he could sense that something has changed. He couldnât put his finger on what it was, but the longer he stood in the room, the more it seems as if everything changed there.
And then it hit him. Some of the things you brought there were gone. The fluffy pillows you loved so much, and you would always cuddle them when you were watching something on TV in the living room as if to shield yourself from the outside world.
Your old coffee cups your grandma gave you a few years ago were also gone. Bucky almost ran through the whole apartment, finding things missing, and he was on the verge of calling the police that there was a robbery in his house, when he came into your room.
It was empty except for a piece of paper sitting on the bed.
Bucky took one last glance around and grabbed the paper, unfolding it to read what the person writing had to say.
Dear James,
I know you donât care one bit about my whereabouts, but I felt like I should at least tell you that Iâm not dead. I called you a few times today, but just like any other times, you didnât pick up. I know you hate me, and although I canât figure out why, I just wanted to tell you that I finally moved out. The house is all yours, and you can bring anyone there, like Natasha, for example. I donât care anymore. I canât act like Iâm a happy housewife when every day in that house was pure hell for me. So Iâm gone from your life, and I will file for divorce in the next few days. Please, just be so kind as to sign it when it comes and donât make our lives even more miserable than they already are. I hope we will be able to find a way for me to work at the company because I miss it terribly. I miss working, I miss being independent.
Take care.
Sincerely
Y/N
/ Next Chapter >
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the hitman of conote... and febailâs here too ig
itâs april fools day and so i feel like itâs as good a time as any to explain the guy iâm using in my icon in a meta comparing him to the actual golden archer boy featured on this blog. wow n look at u ruining the joke by making a serious post out of it smh smh anyway my thoughts on the two, comparing and contrasting them, are under the cut !!
for those who donât know, the game genealogy of the holy war has a second generation system. febail is one of those second gen units and his existence hinges upon the idea that you get his mom, brigid, married off, but if you donât then he will simply Never Be Born. to not screw the player out of missing a unit however, heâs replaced with a substitute character named asaello who shares the same class, the same recruitment time, but they are not the same stat-wise, growth-wise and even differ in conversations they can get. whilst they serve the same function, they are definitely different people.
both begin their journeys as assassins who take jobs to fund the orphans they both have taken under their care. however, asaello has an additional conversation that febail doesnât get, seen below:
Person #1: âUwaa!! The hitman from Conote has returned! Everybody, run for your life!â Asaello: ââŠâ Person #2: ââŠâ Asaello: ââŠArenât you going to run, too?â Person #2: ââŠYou look sad.â Asaello: âHmm? Yeah, maybe I am a little.â Person #2: âHere, take these! Theyâre berries we gathered in the woods. Cheer up! Theyâll make you big and strong!â Asaello: ââŠThanks.â
( FE4, Chapter 8, Village Visit with Asaello )
thereâs a few things i find interesting with this conversation. first, asaello has a moniker whereas febail does not. given the fact that febail has major holy blood and is thus superhuman and can wield a legendary bow but asaello isnât yet itâs still him who gets the epithet, i read this as asaello being the more skillful hitman between the two of them. febail has already won the genetic lottery and can brute force his way through jobs, plus his rare blood makes it so heâs coveted based upon that. asaello doesnât have that advantage, but he still makes it to the same job and position that febail does.
this leads to my second point: asaello had to work for that a lot harder than febail did. heâs earned the title of â hitman of conote â and his fearsome reputation is the consequence of his work. asaello has likely taken way more jobs and cannot escape his infamy. he possesses the same pure intentions and heart that febail does, but he arguably leads the sadder life, constantly living in a world where people donât want to get close to him. they see him as a bringer of death, and for someone as nurturing as him, that likely turned his entire world upside down.
but thereâs something else febail gets that asaello doesnât. febail gets a life purpose.
both these young men are ones who have lost sight of what they ought to be doing in life, driven to their dark lifestyles due to circumstances out of their control. febail in canon finds out heâs secretly the son of a duchess and the only known living person who can wield his holy bow. he has a legacy, and he escapes his misguided life with a renewed sense of purpose: to find out more about his family and to live up to the legacy his bloodline has left behind. he brings this up in one of his conversations with his sister:
Febail: âPatty! Are you stealing again!?â Patty: âYeah, just a little.â Febail: âWell, knock it off! I donât care if it is coming from the enemy.â Patty: âYou think I like doinâ this!? Do you have any idea just how low our armyâs food supply is? That takes money!â Febail: âYeah, well, I caught a guy making fun of you. He said, âItâs no wonder you became a thief with a pirate for a mumâ. Of course, I floored the guy for saying that.â Patty: âLet âem say whatever they want, Febail. It doesnât bother me. âCause now we know our mother was a warrior⊠and of Crusader Ulir descent to boot! I was so happy I started cryinâ when Lewyn told me thatâŠâ Febail: âYeah, me too. With all weâve gone through⊠growing up as orphans and all⊠I never wouldâve dreamed our mother was of noble rank. Do you remember her at all?â Patty: âNope, not one bit. How about you?â Febail: âJust a little⊠just that she was beautiful and very kind.â Patty: ââŠSo sheâs dead, then?â Febail: âI donât know⊠But you and I are going to look for her when weâre all done here. âŠAnd then we can finally find out who our father is.â
( FE4, Chapter 9, Talk with Febail and Patty )
he has no proof that his mother is alive, but you get the sense he hopes and believes in this new dream more than anything, and FE5 implies febail would go on to spend the next seven years trying to make this dream come to fruition. i paste this entire conversation to contrast it with asaelloâs equivalent conversation with his own sister:
Asaello: âDaisy! Are you stealing again!?â Daisy: âYeah, just a little.â Asaello: âWell, knock it off! I donât care if itâs coming from the enemy.â Daisy: âYou think I like doinâ this!? Do you have any idea just how low our armyâs food supply is? That takes money!â Asaello: âI know, butâŠâ Daisy: âAnd the orphans back in Conote need money too, donât they? I tell ya, Iâm beat!â Asaello: âYeah, it sounds like it. I wonder how theyâre all doingâŠâ Daisy: âYou gotta pitch in, too! You better not be wasting all your arena prize money, Asaello!â Asaello: âGeez⊠Iâve gotta learn to keep my mouth shutâŠâ
( FE4, Chapter 9, Talk with Asaello and Daisy )
here, the conversation basically starts almost exactly the same, but it soon enough diverges from febailâs and pattyâs. where febailâs ends on a hopeful note, asaelloâs ends nowhere near that. thereâs no soul searching, only reprimanding him. you get the sense that febailâs truly begun to change as a person from the assassin who was willing to compromise his morals if it meant getting enough money to feed the kids under his care to now someone who knows what he wants to do with his life and is unwilling to compromise on that.
asaello is still stuck, clearly struggling with feeding the orphans and making ends meet. we get this revelation that he has a spending problem, perhaps even a gambling problem, and his gambling is not only deadly to his wallet but also to his own wellbeing. he gambles through the arena, and heâll risk getting extremely hurt to win. up until he joined the army, he was alone because of his fearsome reputation as the hitman of conote. asaello also doesnât have yewfelle, febailâs bow which allows febail to heal over time. asaello when he gets hurt must tend to his own wounds.
asaello is living in a life where he likely was driven to gamble because he wasnât making enough money to help provide for those he cares about, and this was his desperate shot to multiply what money he did have. his story is bleak and revealed to be even bleaker at the same time febailâs is revealed to be turning around for the better.
this is the tragedy that is set with the substitute characters even besides asaello. they are all in similar positions or somehow comparable to these other characters, but because they werenât born with the right blood in their veins, their life is a lot worse. their happy endings are typically at best bittersweet. asaello isnât even the most depressing of the lot, but he certainly explores the nature of futility and making do, and this is even shown in the final chapter where everything is leading up to a great triumph after years of oppression and struggles across the whole continent.
Muirne: âAsaello⊠Look, I know how you feel, but you really should let them handle this.â Asaello: âMan, if only I had a little Crusader blood in me⊠Iâd be tearinâ the enemy up!â Muirne: âWell, lots of us wish we were of Crusader lineage, but look on the bright side. Weâve been fortunate just to be able to come this far. Most commoners like us never get such a chance.â Asaello: âCommoners⊠Lifeâs so unfair. Everyone else around here is either of royalty or nobility.â Muirne: âCheer up, Asaello! Youâve got a whole fan club of kids who are dying for you to get back!â Asaello: âYeah, I guess I canât complain. I do have you after all, too.â Muirne: âHehehe⊠AsaelloâŠâ
( FE4, Endgame, Lovers Convo with Muirne and Asaello )
asaello and muirne have both been major fixtures of the army by this point, but they both tell themselves that they arenât good enough. they canât handle this final battle. you, the player, are inclined to agree with them, given the fact they underperform when compared to their canonical counterparts found in febail and lana. they especially underperform compared to the likes of seliph, ares, and other holy blooded people in the army beside them.
fe4 encourages you to be complicit in jugdralâs philosophy that holy blood makes someone better and that everyone else just will never live up to them. the game makes you feel that same sense of futility that the substitute characters do.
when asaello says if only he had a little crusader blood in him, heâd be able to tear the enemy up... heâs right. and thatâs what hurts. his self-deprecation is founded. life is unfair.Â
the only way for muirne and asaello to end their conversation happily is to accept the fact they will always remain subpar and that they must settle for happiness elsewhere. their happiness is in each other, in people far away from what theyâre both involved in right now, and thatâs okay.
we make it to the epilogue and we get to the final differences in character i can remark between asaello and febail. though they both had the same reasons for becoming assassins and ended up starting on the same path, their endings couldnât be anymore different.
febail goes to yngvi in grannvale to chase his new purpose in life. he doesnât even mention returning home to conote. febail tells seliph that heâll pledge himself to him, but for asaello, the warâs end signals his return home and the final words heâll ever say to seliph. this is the end of the road for them.
but their words afterwards with their respective lovers in the epilogue is interesting â well, at least to me anyway! and uh, thereâs no real easy way for me to discuss this in a way that isnât long as hell, so get ready for the misadventures of two boys love lives i guess.
every single febail lovers convo in the epilogue goes basically something like this, with slight word tweaking to try and fit whomever his lover (grabbed larcei+creidne for this just out of convenience of them being first) is:
Febail:Â âOn this blessed bow, Lord Seliph, I swear Iâll be with you every step of the way!â Larcei/Creidne: âSo what about what you swore to me?â Febail: âHuh? What did I promise you again?â Larcei/Creidne: âYouâre kidding... You forgot ALREADY?â Febail: âKidding, kidding! It was a joke! Sorry... Wow, thatâs a terrifying look youâre giving me.â Larcei/Creidne: âCan you blame me for not being sure?â
( FE4, Epilogue, Seliphâs Grannvalian Talks - Febail )
compare this to the conversation asaello would have with this exact same pairing:
Larcei/Creidne: âAsaello... Leaving Seliph nowâs gotta be pretty painful, huh? I know youâll tough it out.â Asaello: âI know that, Larcei/Creidne. I'm not weak.â Larcei/Creidne: âWhat's with the attitude? I'm just worried about you!â Asaello: âDon't worry about me. I told you, I'm not weak. You couldn't possibly understand how I feel!â Larcei/Creidne: âFine, then. I'm leaving you. You can go home by yourself!â Asaello: âHold on, I didn't mean it... I'm sorry! Just don't leave me!â Larcei/Creidne: âHmph...â Asaello: âLarcei/Creidne... Come on. I need you.â Larcei/Creidne: âOkay, but I need you to promise one thing: don't talk back to me ever again.â Asaello: âF-Fine... I promise...â Larcei/Creidne: âThen all is forgiven. Let's go.â Asaello: âSigh... Can't live with her, can't live without her...â
( FE4, Epilogue, Seliphâs Thracian Talks - Asaello )
this is the second instance we see a personality distinction between febail and asaello. go back to their conversations with their sisters that i showed earlier and these traits are repeated. where febail can hold his own in arguments and is quick to make his rebuttals, asaello absolutely crumples. febail exudes confidence and will talk when necessary. asaello is easily overtaken by his sister retorting against him for his scolding her, and here with larcei or creidne, he quickly is relegated to begging and conceding to her. asaello gives me the impression that he might be a bit more starved for affection than febail is, and is consequently a lot more scared to speak back or to have people act coldly to him. he seems to shut down a lot more easily and also opens up more emotionally where febail is more stubborn with sticking to hiding his embarrassment.
this trait of asaello, his tendency to fold to the other, is explored by him having actually multiple unique conversations his different lovers, unlike febail who essentially uses a cookie-cutter convo with all of them.
fee/femina and lene/laylea will first reassure asaello that theyâll be there for him before teasing him by saying they like how heâs cute when heâs shy; lana/muirne, nanna/jeanne, and tine/linda will trick asaello into admitting that the only thing that helps him cure his loneliness is by being with them and even goads him into confessing point-blank just how much they mean to him in his desperation to not cause any miscommunication.Â
but i think more than his conversations in the epilogue with his lovers proving this disparity of emotional vulnerability breaking open more easily are his conversations in the case when his sister daisy is dead.
Seliph: âAsaello, I... Iâm so sorry about Daisy...â Asaello: âHey, it wasnât your fault. Iâm the one who stuffed up here. I... Iâll take Daisy home with me. She deserves to rest with her parents. Then... Then I can mourn her.â Seliph: âAsaello...â
( FE4, Epilogue, Seliphâs Thracian Talks - Asaello while Daisyâs dead )
asaelloâs epilogue talks change based upon this whereas febailâs donât, emphasizing how truly bittersweet the ending of the game is for him even more in this scenario. this is a trait shared by all the other guys too, for the record. the canon characters like febail, lester, etc. donât get conversations depending on whether or not their sisters die, but their substitutes like asaello and deimne do. fe4âČs ending is here to remind us every time something bad happens to the substitute kids, and it will force us to stew in it too.
asaello gets a lot of unique conversations with his lovers to follow up on this too, each one exploring his sadness and even one a couple admitting how he openly has cried even as he tries to remain strong when talking about daisyâs death.
he canât handle daisyâs death. sheâs basically all he had left in this world after they had both been orphaned very young. if he doesnât have a lover, there is no one to comfort him. he is nothing more than the hitman of conote, feared and alone, and he will willingly walk away from the one connection he has in lord seliph after the war is said and done with despite his misery.
this isnât to say febailâs life is without its own struggles or depressing moments too, but his happiness always feels like it is something he owns and that there is light at the end of the tunnel for him. he will bask in his dreams where asaello is sinking and settling, trudging through a grim reality based upon compromises and scrounging for his more modest joys if he can find them.
the image i drew at the top was, in truth, a bit of a lie. when looking at febail and his substitute asaello, it isnât febail and the cooler (?) febail; it is in fact febail and the more depressing febail. thanks, kaga.
#// i thought this post was going to be bullet points i'm crying#// i apologize to the mobile dash users if this readmore doesn't work for u. oh god.#+. Â /Â Â hcs + metas.#+. Â /Â Â mun's art.#long post ---
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Why Reylos Are A Bright Spot In The STAR WARS Fandom
Itâs impossible to parse all of this out or to really say whoâs ârightâ or âwrongâ or what ârightâ and âwrongâ even mean in fandom spaces. From my vantage point, the Reylo community is one of the more forgiving and accepting out there. Itâs comprised of not only women, but plenty of men and non-binary Star Wars fans, from different races and orientations and experiences. And thatâs true of any shipping community. In a fandom as large as Star Wars, there should be room for all of us to express joy or grief or surprise or disinterest in our cultivated spaces. Itâs how we all choose to cross-pollinate that could use some work.
But Reylos arenât deserving of the intense condemnation that comes from larger voices in the fandom. The ridicule feels specific and exclusionary, and rooted in gatekeeping sexism. Comparing them to the Fandom Menace is ridiculous. That group created blogs dedicated to roasting journalists, creators, and fans. Meanwhile, the Reylo community (along with Ben Solo fans) poured much of their frustration and sadness over The Rise of Skywalker into an act of good, by raising money for Adam Driverâs charity, Arts in the Armed Forces. How much money? As of this writing, over $76,000, more than double the charityâs fundraising goal for an entire fiscal year.
full article below the cut:
Why is romantic love such a controversial thing in fandom? Itâs something I ask myself a lot, as a person who writes about shipping and who desires the kind of love that stories tell me might exist. Iâve spent most of my life in fandom spacesâparticipating in conversations or observing and examining themâand have witnessed firsthand how objectionable fictional romance can be, especially in fandoms that appeal to and target men. Why is this the case, and why is romance a thing we use to punish women looking for escapism in genre stories?
Itâs hard to say, but it remains an endemic and undeniable strain. Shipping, which is fandom code for wanting two characters to be together, is often snickered at or seen as some frivolous element of appreciation. It can lead to shaming that feels personal and accusatory, as if your interest in a fictional relationship is a roadmap to your own intentions and experience. This attitude towards shippers is especially present in the Star Wars fandom, where the relationship between Rey and Kylo Ren is steeped in a seemingly never-ending controversy. There are fervent supporters of the romance between these characters, a plentiful contingent of opposers, and those who donât really care one way or another but still seem fit to criticize.
Why has the âReyloâ ship created such a stir? Letâs dig into this subset of the Star Wars fandom: where it started, why itâs accumulated so much negativity, and why the Reylos donât deserve the bad reputation theyâve acquired, especially in the wake of The Rise of Skywalker.
THE ORIGINS OF REYLO
The release of The Last Jedi was a rough time for a lot Star Wars fans. The filmâthe eighth in the Skywalker saga and the second in the Disney-era sequel trilogyâmade a lot of bold storytelling choices, which divided the fandom into camps. Those who loved the meditations on the Force, Luke Skywalkerâs troubled heroâs journey, the complicated characterization of Poe Dameron, Finn and Roseâs failed mission, and the strange developing bond between Rey and Kylo felt at odds with anyone who saw otherwise. Many disliked Lukeâs arc, or the apparent sidelining of Poe and Finn, or the democratization of the Force. The disagreements spiraled into something bordering collective mania. Itâs a debate that still rages today, and that seeped into the conversations weâre currently having about The Rise of Skywalker.
I loved the movie, but found the discourse numbing. Positive Twitter conversations were instantly marred by detractors, and every passionate argument was upended by accusatory nitpicks. I felt discouraged from participating in any of it, and I felt bitter towards the Star Wars community in general. Until I found the Reylos.
After stumbling on podcasts like What The Force?, Skytalkers, and Scavengerâs Hoardâall female-hosted programsâI realized there were plenty of encouraging conversations about The Last Jedi happening in fandom. I also realized most of them were Reylo-oriented. Suddenly, I was exposed to the exact conversations I always wanted to have about Star Wars: deep dives into mythology, redemption arcs, symbolism and dualism, religion, poetry. And all of that was encompassed in Reylo. All of these larger stories, focused through these characters joined by fate and purpose, who represented opposing ideologies of the Force.
There was so much to dig into. Rey and Kylo have a classic enemies-to-lovers storyline, a romantic trope seen in fairytales like Beauty and the Beast, classic literature like Pride and Prejudice, mythological stories like that of Hades and Persephone, even modern genre television like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Itâs typically used in women-oriented storytelling, as it affords duality and compassion to both parties; a distribution of power that makes the women as complicated, compromised, and interesting as their male counterparts. Reyâs interest in Kylo adds a layered intrigue to a character otherwise patently âgoodâ and âpure,â words commonly associated with women, forcing them into palatable, antiquated gender roles.
Their relationship feeds a part of the fanbase who craves that kind of female protagonist. One who represents their own burgeoning lust, complicated compassion for the men they chose to care about, and temptation towards things weâre told to fear. Through the Reylo relationship, Rey took on another angle, one that finally made Star Wars feel like a story for me.
THE BACKLASH
I also learned right away what it meant to be a Reylo in the Star Wars fandom. The relationship between the light-sided Rey and dark-sided Kylo was riddled in turmoil. In The Force Awakens, a scene where he straps her down and interrogates her is considered by many to be abusive. The language Kylo uses to seduce Rey to his side in The Last Jedi is also seen as manipulative and problematic. He tells her that no one knows her like he does. In their opinion, heâs attempting to groom her to his standards, to turn her into what he wants against her own will. Those against the relationship will tell you that itâs a dangerous and negative message to send to young girls.
And hereâs where Iâll say something potentially controversial amongst my fellow Reylos: I donât think these people are âwrong.â Because everyoneâs experience and perspective is their own thing to interrogate, and itâs not up to me to tell people how to feel about somethingâeven if I disagree entirely. What I do take issue with, however, is the need to interrogate someone elseâs preferences or fantasies. There is an infantilizing element to the backlash, as if those opposed think that Reylos havenât reconciled with the themes presented to them, and are merely choosing to ignore them because they think Adam Driver is hot.
The way I see it, relationships like Reyloâpower fantasies oriented on the feminine psyche, with an antagonistic maleâfulfill two things I love in storytelling. They are pure escapism; the happy ending those of us drawn to the incurable are never afforded. And they are instructive, as they exemplify the patriarchal schism between men and women: that we are not equal, but that women love men anyway because of the compassion that comes naturally to balance that division. It shows how we can mend those gaps through patience and understanding. Itâs archetypical and fantastical, sure, but thatâs what Star Wars is: a fairy tale that wrestles with society and humanity in broad strokes.
That said, there are other reasons for dissent. Some fans ship Rey and Finn, and see their romance as a better avenue for a healthy relationship. Some have experienced personal trauma and canât abide a romance that mimics and negates their pain. Others just donât see the Reylo thing at all. Absolutely all of that is valid. Shipping should never be a competition or an authoritative moral stance on any side. Rey/Finn shippers are just as valid as Reylos because it speaks to what someone personally craves and desires. The shaming shouldnât exist on any sideâbut because it does, the passionate defense comes in.
REYLOS DONâT DESERVE THE HATE
That knee-jerk self defense has drawn a lot of ire to the Reylo community in the aftermath of The Rise of Skywalker, the final film in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. On paper, the Reylos were given a lot of what they desire: Kylo Ren is redeemed and turns back into Ben Solo. Rey and Ben fight side by side and even share a kiss. But then Ben dies and Rey ends the movie alone, something that irked the shippers. They saw the ending as a grim conclusion for Ben and a way of punishing Rey for expressing her desires. To many, the ending feels hopeless and feeds into this stereotypical notion that for a woman to be strong, she must be single â as if romantic love weakens us.
There are other ways to read the ending, and many fans found power in it. Thatâs the beauty of film: that itâs entirely subjective. But in their profession of disappointment, the Reylos once again became a punching bag for the fandom at large. A recent BuzzFeed article compared the way Reylos reacted to The Rise of Skywalker to the way the Fandom Menaceâa trolling, abusive, anti-Disney hate groupâreacted to The Last Jedi. (Never mind that their âsourceâ for this reaction was a tweet from a prominent member of the Fandom Menace, and that many of the complaints in question were either fabricated or from non-Reylo accounts.)
Itâs impossible to parse all of this out or to really say whoâs ârightâ or âwrongâ or what ârightâ and âwrongâ even mean in fandom spaces. From my vantage point, the Reylo community is one of the more forgiving and accepting out there. Itâs comprised of not only women, but plenty of men and non-binary Star Wars fans, from different races and orientations and experiences. And thatâs true of any shipping community. In a fandom as large as Star Wars, there should be room for all of us to express joy or grief or surprise or disinterest in our cultivated spaces. Itâs how we all choose to cross-pollinate that could use some work.
But Reylos arenât deserving of the intense condemnation that comes from larger voices in the fandom. The ridicule feels specific and exclusionary, and rooted in gatekeeping sexism. Comparing them to the Fandom Menace is ridiculous. That group created blogs dedicated to roasting journalists, creators, and fans. Meanwhile, the Reylo community (along with Ben Solo fans) poured much of their frustration and sadness over The Rise of Skywalker into an act of good, by raising money for Adam Driverâs charity, Arts in the Armed Forces. How much money? As of this writing, over $76,000, more than double the charityâs fundraising goal for an entire fiscal year.
I also know that the Reylos helped me find my way back to loving Star Wars, gave me endless professional and creative inspiration for the last two years, and deepened my interest and love of storytelling and mythology. I know Iâm not alone, and I know that the Reylo shipping community has made Star Wars finally feel like a fandom they were allowed to love. Thatâs something I hope fans with different access points to the world of Star Wars might think about before they wag a finger or call Reylos fake fans or mock their interests and experience. Star Wars can and should be for everyone, and how we find our way into the galaxy far, far away is a unique, personal, and beautiful thing. Love is what itâs all about at the end of the day. Even romantic love.
by Lindsey Romain for Nerdist [find article HERE]
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An attempt at political analysis in 2021
I remember when I was still working on my Masters Degree in Political Philosophy. I really used to believe that liberal institutions could stand up to fascism. I really believed that our systems of law and justice, our constitutions as democratic states, had the means to prevent totalitarianism from rising.Â
As the end of Trump's presidency approaches, it strikes me how much damage Trump has done to the public's trust in elections and democracy in general. How he has succesfully warped the public's perception of how freedom of speech and rights and equality work. But honestly, over the last four years it has become clear to me that Trump is not an abberation or a rejection of the centrist liberalism that preceded him. He is the inevitable result of the neoliberal project that started under Reagan and Thatcher and never abated.Â
Not a single institution stopped Donald Trump, a man repeatedly convicted of discriminating against tenants on the basis of race who spouted racist bullshit constantly, who repeatedly bragged about abusing women and vocally supported political violence all over the world, who shamelessly used his position for monetary gain. Nothing stopped him from stacking the Supreme Court or imprisoning children in camps without their parents for the crime of crossing a border.Â
The courts were toothless, and charges against him were dropped for no other reason than his electoral success in 2016. These last four years have seen the rise of similar figures and movements all over the globe. It is simply not a coincidence that everywhere from Turkey to Hungary, France and the Phillipines, from Greece to the Netherlands and the UK, in Bolivia and in many other democracies around the world, similar movements have arisen.
Movements that claim to represent the true people and a return to tradition and sovereignty, that propose a violent cleansing of foreign influence and moral corruption of the 'elites', while themselves colluding with foreign powers and led and funded by billionaires. Racist and violent regressive movements that channel the resentment over economic and political failures towards  immigrants, the poor and the left.This is not the first time that liberal democracy has fallen into fascism or the second or third, and we would do well to understand why.Â
Over the past 50 years, the ideas of socialism have almost completely left the political mainstream. Previously leftist movements have been seduced by centrism, and have given up their fundamental opposition to capitalism to join the ruling class. The most famous living leaders of the biggest socialist party in the Netherlands now work for oil companies. As a result, all policy in the Netherlands is market-based. And when the market inevitably crashes because it is driven by unsustainable greed, the left no longer has a clear way forward.Â
The right can always say: 'we need to turn more stuff over to the market. We need to punish people who 'leech' off the system. It's the foreigners, the poor and the left that took your money. We should remove them.'The mainstream left can't say that. It has no identity left, because it has already accepted the market as a solution before. They believe the same things about the world as the right, but less so. The ideas of the mainstream left are fundamentally in tension with each other: markets are good, but equality is also good.Â
So whenever the left embraces the market as a solution, and the market crashes, they lose credibility. They've already dismissed anticapitalism as naive. They're stuck having to concede to the right. Anticapitalists have no choice but to vote for centrists, and the resulting policies are just watered down and ineffective, if any can be implemented at all. Â Â And so we have the perfect recipe for political desillusionment. There is no real debate or difference in the political mainstream and no real socialist alternative.Â
When the market collapses, the only radical change that shares the common worldview of the mainstream is fascism. Fascism is just capitalism with all the compassion and high-minded moral qualms thrown out. When even the left has spent the last 30 years insisting that anti-capitalism is a utopian dream, how are people supposed to deal with growing income inequality, rising costs of living, stagnating wages and a looming climate crisis, not to mention a pandemic that is spread by economic activity?
Since critiquing the system is not present as a mainstream political option, most people just stick to the options that are already available: blaming the outsider and the poor, but even more so. Where refugees, the disabled and the unemployed were previously just bad investments, now they are the reason your income is at risk. The people that were hit hard by the financial crash and by COVID measures are told not to be angry with lax/corrupt financial oversight, the inevitability of growing income inequality, forced labor and pollution in a global capitalist economy or with indecisive and compromised anti-pandemic measures, but to blame specific people and groups. This is fertile ground for conspiracy theories.
There is no easy 'free speech' solution to this, because hearing that specific people are responsible, especially disenfranchised people, is much more comforting than hearing that the culprit is the very system that you currently have to use to get most goods and services you need.
It has proven to be especially easy to direct people's deep anxiety over the future towards minorities, 'the media' and the scientific community in stead of the systems that got us here: self-interested power dynamics. Going back to the way things were 'before' is only going to produce the same results in the future. There is no capitalist solution to forced labor, pollution, financial crashes and growing income inequality. The market will at most try to sell you the illusion of a solution to those things. Individual self-interest will just not be a good guide in solving those issues, no matter how enlightened.
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Non-consent Nancy (part 1, repost)
(Part of the Pervert Pentet Series)
Chapter 1, parts 1 and 2
WARNING: This story focuses on a lesbian black woman who fetishizes rape, misogyny, racism, and abuse. As such, there will be copious amounts of offensive language and themes, including the sexualization of victims. The story is fiction, and nothing written here should be taken as an endorsement for any of these view or activities. In fact, I wholeheartedly condemn nearly everything the main character thinks and does in this story. I believe that consent is a central tenet of morality, and violations of it are only acceptable in the context of fiction.
***
Introduction:
Nancy had grown up in a conservative, affluent neighborhood. Being one of the only black girls, she became a target for bullies and bigots at an early age. The fact that she dressed and acted like a lesbian before she even fully realized her sexual orientation certainly didnât do her any favors.
Her mother worked hard to give her a better life than sheâd had; as such, she could be a bit dismissive of her problems. When she was little, and informed her that she was being bullied at school, she simply suggested that she try to turn her abusers into friends. Taking her suggestion to heart, from that point on, Nancy always responded to cruelty with kindness. She want out of her way to accommodate bullies, to show them more kindness than she showed anyone else.
In middle school, she pressed her mother to tell her about her birth-father. After a long conversation, her mother finally admitted that Nancy had been conceived through rape by a man her mother had never met. She reasoned then, that her mother had virtually nothing to do with actually creating her. Her father was the one who took the initiative that resulted in her existence. Therefore, every moment of her life, every instant of joy or pleasure she took from being alive, she owed to a rapist. Her gratitude and affinity for rapists and abusers began to reach a level that bordered on worship, with those who defied them being, in her eyes, akin to heretics.
When she reached high-school, her views became even more extreme. She had internalized her affinity for sadists so much that she began to hate victims that tried to fight back. She felt as though they were dishonoring the blessing they had been given. When her best friend, Janet tearfully confessed that sheâd been date-raped by a boy she had a crush on, Nancy insisted that she not tell anyone, convincing her that she must have enjoyed it and that she should call the boy and apologize for being such an ungrateful brat. She was proud of herself for facilitating the three-month abusive relationship that followed. Even prouder that she thought to secretly ask the boy out herself, allowing him to cheat on her best friend, as was his right and her honor.
Nancy loved how creative the young man was. He often had Nancy come over right before a date with Janet so he could fuck her and have Janet unknowingly suck her best friends cunt juice off of his cock. He liked to ask Janet for particularly humiliating naked pictures which Nancy insisted it was her duty as a good girlfriend to send him. She often assisted Janet with these photoshoots, helping her write humiliating words on her body, making sure she spread her ass far enough to make her holes clearly visible, ensuring that her tongue really was making contact with the inside of the toilet.
Their friendship ended after the boy mentioned to Nancy that her friend refused anal, and fought vigorously when he tried to force her. Nancy was appalled at learning of her friendâs refusal, insisting that she would help; that night, they stripped her naked and Nancy held her down and covered her mouth while the boy raped her ass. Itâs no wonder she thrashed about so much, her barely-lubricated asshole was bleeding pretty badly by the end. Nancy made her apologize for ruining the boys sheets and made her give him money from her purse to replace them.
Janet didnât talk to Nancy after that, which annoyed the budding rape-enthusiast. That left Nancy with the problem of how to distribute her former friends humiliating pictures as punishment for her ingratitude. Certainly she couldnât allow the boy to be blamed for sharing them with their classmates. Hell, she would have happily lied under oath to ensure he didnât suffer the consequences of taking what was his.
Eventually a solution became apparent. There was another girl in her school who always rejected the advances of the boys, a nerdy type who talked back when people made fun of her. Nancy eventually figured out that this girl was a dyke as well. She had no problem with dykes, per se, she was one herself. She had a problem with bitches who thought they were too good to be a plaything for cruel men. So she hatched a plan.
She pretended to befriend the dyke, and eventually the two of them became lovers. A few weeks later she broke up with her very publicly at school, making sure to loudly announce how bad her pussy tasted and claiming she was breaking up with her because she couldnât stand the girlâs hardcore scat-fetish. This would ensure that the little bitch would be made fun of for the rest of her Senior year, and it would open the door to blame her for posting Janetâs humiliating pictures online.
When the authorities investigated, Nancy admitted that sheâd helped Janet take the pictures (claiming that it was Janetâs idea, and backing up the boyâs claim that it was actually Janet who pushed for kinky sex, a story sheâd arranged with him earlier). She said that the dyke must have hacked into her computer after she broke up with her, and distributed the pictures as payback. Nancy made sure to include a few compromising pictures of herself in the photo-dump just to make the story more believable.
The plan had worked, in one fell swoop Nancy had managed to humiliate that ungrateful bitch Janet, and teach that stupid dyke what she gets for refusing men their right to use her body. It was one of the great triumphs of her young life, but she only just barely got away with it. Nancy knew that sheâd need to be more careful from now on if she wanted to continue abiding by her lifeâs mission to help all bullies, abusers, and rapists.
So when she got to college she reinvented herself. Publicly she was an advocate for every marginalized group. She went to feminist marches, she spoke at Black Lives Matter events, and collected donations for LGBT causes. This way, she could be seen as a champion for the abused, they would trust her. Never suspecting that she actually masturbated each night to the teary-eyed confessions by dumb bitches whose boyfriends smacked them around or sorority cunts who didnât appreciate getting gang-raped when they were stupid enough to get drunk at a party.
A few years in, Nancy was majoring in psychology and volunteering at a rape crisis center as a counselor. This is when she met Darla.
Part 1
Nancy walked in that day with a button-up shirt and tie beneath her black vest. Her masculine fashion sense left little doubt to onlookers that she was a lesbian. It was form-fitting enough to display her slim body. Had she had her clothes ripped off in public, as she so often fantasized, observers would see a strong, athletic body with clear muscle definition beneath her smooth, dark brown skin. They would also notice the ample curves of her large breasts atop her six-pack abs, a contrast rarely seen in non-black women. Her hair was styled in neat dreadlocks that hung down just past her chin. Her whole style screamed liberal black lesbian feminist. Yet she dressed with enough allure that she hoped every misogynist, racist, and sadist that saw her went home and planned how to make her scream while they raped her dyke-nigger asshole bloody. She secretly believed itâs what all women deserved, and made it her lifeâs mission to ensure it happened to as many women as possible.
When she saw the defeated-looking woman with a bruised face in the rape crisis center office, she knew she was in for a treat.
âHi, have you been helped yet?â Nancy said to the girl in a gentle voice.
âThey said they donât have anybody who can see me right now, and they said I have to wait.â she responded meekly, still staring at the ground, but obviously in distress.
Nancy squatted down in front of the girl to meet her eyes and gave her a reassuring smile. âMy name is Nancy, would you like to go somewhere private and we can just sit together? If you want to talk, Iâll listen. If you want to just sit, thatâs okay too. If you need a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold, Iâll be there for you if you want. And if, at any point, you think youâd feel better being alone, youâre welcome to leave, I wonât judge you or think less of you no matter what. I only care about making sure you get what you need right now.â She gave some version of this speech to almost every ungrateful cunt that came in. It made it easier for them to open up to her.
The girl nodded and Nancy led her to a small, quiet room where they sat across from one another. âWould you like to tell me your name?â Nancy asked.
âDarla.â She replied.
âItâs very nice to meet you Darla. What can I do to help you, today?â She asked softly.
âHe raped me again last night.â Darla replied, her tone hectic. âI donât know what I did! He always does this, even though he says heâs going to stop!â
Haha! What a stupid cunt! Nancy thought. âWho did this to you?â
âMy ex boyfriend. Back when we were started dating, he said he understood that sex is something thatâs really, really hard for me because of my childhood. But after a little while he said he didnât want to wait anymore. And after that he stopped caring, and he didnât even stop when I said no and begged him! Thatâs why I broke up with him, but he called me and said he changed. Except it seemed like he really meant it this time! He asked me to come over so he could give me a gift to apologize. But when I got there heâŠheâŠâ
Oh, come on, donât tease me you little rape-slut, Nancy thought, âItâs okay, youâre safe with me.â her gentle voice reassured the girl.
âHeâŠput it in my butt.â Darla replied blushing, though the bruising on her face made it difficult to tell.
âThis was the first time heâd forced you to have anal sex?â Nancy asked
Darla nodded, âThat was always like really, really super off limits.â Tears rolled down the girls face. âAnd, and, and he knew that! I said Iâd break up with him if he ever did that. He said he always wanted to, and that he was going to do it now that I canât break up with him again.â
Well I canât fault his logic! she thought as the girl cleaned the tears from her face with a tissue. Nancy briefly had a fantasy in which she congratulated the girlâs ex-boyfriend for a stellar job of tricking her into getting raped so many times, followed by the two of them laughing over how stupid she was to fall for it so many times. A brief moment later she considered how improved the fantasy would be if Darla were bound naked and gagged listening to them during the exchange as they prepared to rape her together. She was tempted to smile as she contemplated the scenario, but fortunately she was practiced at not letting her inner thoughts show on her face.
âYou mentioned that sex was difficult for you because of your childhood. Was there something that happened when you were younger that resulted in you having a strong negative reaction to that particular act? Nancy asked.
âMy parents used to make me do that when I was little. They used to make videos and let strangers do it to me for money.â
âThey made videos of you having anal sex when you were underaged?â
âThey stopped when I was fourteen, they said I was too old. But they only had men put it in my butt, because they said itâd be really bad if I got pregnant and had to see a doctor.â Darla explained, her lip quivering.
Jackpot! Nancy thought, Iâve got a real life porn-star in front of me! She wondered how many men and women had masturbated while watching her little asshole get sodomized. A spark of anger suddenly shot through Nancy. Ungrateful cunt, do you know what I would have given to have a childhood like yours?!? Her thoughts alternated back and forth between arousal and resentment. She compromised between the two emotions when she vowed to make Darla properly suffer for how blind sheâd been for all the wonderful honors that her family and boyfriend had bestowed on her.
âYour boyfriend knew this when he anally raped you?â
âYeah! He said he thought it was funny. He laughed and said that this keeps happening to me because Iâm a whore, and I deserve it.â Darla said with tearful anger.
Smart AND a sense of humor! How dare this dumb bitch deny this charming boyfriend of hers the right to use his victim! She should be begging him to blister her cunt with a belt to show how sorry she is! God, I hate her!
âYouâre a good-hearted person. It was very kind of you to keep giving him chances. But your kindness doesnât mean you deserve to be raped.â The fact that youâre weak and you have a cunt means you deserve to be raped. Nancy finished the thought in her head.
The rest of the session continued along the same theme, with Darla pouring her heart out about her tragic life full of rape, molestation, and abuse. Nancy struggled to contain her excitement, but managed to maintain her professional disposition. Her only worry was that her cunt may have soaked through her slacks and left a stain on the chair. She resented this pathetic girl for having been given so much, yet being so stupid as to complain about it.
Finally finished with her cathartic confessions, Darla was finally ready to leave. Nancy, not wanting this delightful encounter to be fleeting, wrote down her phone number on a slip of paper and handed it to Darla. âI know you feel better now, but this isnât something you can get over in one session. Iâm taking a special interest in you. Feel free to call or text whenever you need, and I absolutely expect to see you back here soon.â
âThank you, Doctor. That means a lot to me.â Darla replied before hugging her tightly. Nancy only had an Associateâs Degree, but chose not to correct her, hoping the assumption would work to her advantage at some point in the future. Darla walked out, riding on the high of catharsis.
***
Nancy stayed for a few more hours, but the rest of the afternoon was rather banal. A few girls came in asking about domestic abuse resources or abortion services. Much as she didnât like helping these little rape-dolls, she had to if she was to keep her cover intact. Normally, sheâd at least get a kick out of making girls give a few extra details before she provided them with what she wanted, but all she could think about is how she wanted to ruin and violate Darla.
When she left the center, she was so lost in thought, she hadnât even heard the awkward footsteps of the girl racing to catch up to her.
âHi, Nancy! Iâm really glad that I get to volunteer here with you. Youâre such an inspiration.â the girl said, failing at coming up with a natural way to start a conversation.
âOh, Hannah. Hi, I didnât notice you.â she replied. Hannah was a pansexual Jew-cunt that answered phones at the rape crisis center. She also took care of all the accounting. Sheâd been raped by her friendâs older brother when she was ten years old and it fucked with her self-esteem. She was desperate to get people to like her, a fact which Nancy regularly took advantage of. The big-nosed bitch always tried too hard, especially with people who treated her like shit.
âSo, do you have any plans tonight?â Hannah asked.
Nancy smiled and took the Jew-cuntâs hand as they walked, interlocking her fingers. âI do! Iâve been dating a lot; getting pretty lucky in the romance department lately. But I donât want to tell you about that, itâd be inconsiderate of your feelings. Iâm sure you have something interesting going on. Tell me about that.â
Nancy knew that Hannah wasnât especially popular and had a bit of a crush on her. Her background in psychology allowed her to utilize her knowledge to hurt Hannah in subtle ways while still pretending to be her friend. In a few sentences, sheâd managed to remind her of the humiliating rejection that had occurred a few months ago; impress upon her the fact that while she has trysts with lots of women, she doesnât find Hannah attractive enough to date; and put her on the spot to share plans that Nancy knew she obviously didnât have.
The pair of them walked hand-in-hand as Hannahâs eyes frantically darted back and forth in thought as her chest slightly tensed, not knowing how to respond.
âOh⊠ya know.â she finally replied with a forced smile.
âNo, I donât know. Come on, Hannah! Open up a little, youâre always so timid.â
âUmmm. Just⊠just catching up on some reading. Heh. Guess weâre not all as popular as you.â
âHey, youâre a wonderful person. Any man, woman, or nonbinary would be lucky to be with you!â With that, Nancy kissed the lonely, desperate kike on the cheek and veered off in the other direction.
Nancyâs mind began to reel with delightfully villainous ideas. Itâll probably be a few days until I get a chance to see Darla again, she thought, Â Maybe it is finally time to give Hannah some attention.
***
Part 2
That evening, Nancy went home and ordered a few spy cameras that she could use to record subsequent encounters with Darla. With that quick errand finished, she focused her attention on ensuring that her good friend Hannah the big-nosed Jew-cunt finally got put in her place.
Nancy worshipped individuals who violated others, but she did have a certain affinity for rapists on a cultural or societal scale as well. Itâs why she has a strong veneration for men, whites, and authority figures (the last group being made up, predominantly, of white men). It was no wonder that she had developed a fetish for misogynist white-supremacists; in fact, sheâd become a bit of one herself.
Jews like Hannah were among the worst, Nancy believed. As a shit-skin dyke, she couldnât exactly claim superiority, but at least Nancy knew her place in the world. Hannah, however, was such a stereotypical Jew that it almost seemed intentional. She whined about being raped when she was little, she whined about her ancestors being tortured in the Holocaust, she even sometimes whined about her ancestors being enslaved in Egypt. In typical Jew fashion, she played them off like jokes, but Nancy knew that the little kike actually did feel as though these things were injustices.
Nancy hoped her friend would eventually learn her lesson and join her in honoring all the wonderful contributions that rapists and abusers make to society, but she was impatient and wanted to help her along.
A few months before, she sent Hannah a naked picture of herself out of the blue. She had picked up on the girlâs crush on her and hoped to use that to subtly humiliate her. Hannahâs response was ecstatic, she poured her heart out, saying how sheâd loved her from afar for so long and was overjoyed to know that she felt the same way. After that followed a series of lewd images of the black-haired kike. Nancy didnât reply, despite the increasingly nervous-sounding texts that followed. Instead, she confronted Hannah the next day in person. She remembered the conversation vividlyâŠ
âI felt like I owed it to you to explain this in person. I think you got the wrong idea yesterday. I had a great day at the gym and I was just feeling really good about my body, so I sent pictures to some of my close friends, but it was completely platonic, Hannah. Iâm just a very body-positive person. Iâm so sorry you got the wrong idea, it must have been so humiliating to you, but I could never be intimate with you. I value our friendship so much, so I just want to be clear. You are not attractiveâŠ.to me. I still think youâre a great person, but I could never find you physically appealing.â
Nancy smiled as she thought back on that moment with pride. The look of pain and humiliation on Hannahâs face was priceless. She had run to the bathroom just after the conversation, and Nancy snuck in a few minutes later to hear her crying loudly. She felt an exhilaration at knowing sheâd hurt the girl so deeply. In just a few moments, Nancy had left a mark in her mind and soul that would last for years, probably decades; words that would echo over and over again. There was a sort of romance to that, knowing that her friend would carry that moment with her for such a long time. It was the kind of gift that bullies left their victims with. But tonight, Nancy wanted Hannah to have an even better gift.
She knew that Hannah would be home alone tonight, so Nancy reached out to some of her online resources. She could be herself on the internet, and it made her many friends among rape-baiters and rapists. Those were the people she needed that night.
Nancy was posing as Hannah online, she was uploading the obscene images that the Jew-cunt had sent her a few months before and claiming that she was finally ready to fulfill her fantasy of being brutally violated by racists. She had even photoshopped an image sheâd found of Hannah online. The original image showed her face holding a sign reading âI need feminism because no one believed me when I told them I was raped. I was 10.â But with some slight touch ups, in the new image, the sign read, âI donât need feminism, I need my Jew-holes brutally gang-raped by Nazi cock.â Photoshopping âI need feminismâ signs had become a bit of a hobby for Nancy, and sheâd become pretty good at making them look real.
She was sure to include this new picture along with the other images of her naked body. She sent them to anyone with potential, even posted them online in a few spots with her name and location. Finally she got into a conversation with someone who was close enough and real enough to get it done tonight. Nancy shared private details, still posing as Hannah and claiming to consent to anything he and his friends wanted to do to her. She begged him for an assurance that heâd violate every hole, that heâd beat her. Even made him promise that heâd break her big Jew-nose. She warned him that she wanted it to be real, so she was going to beg and cry a lot, but they werenât to stop raping her, no matter what.
The stranger online gave assurances that heâd do everything she asked and more. Nancy proceeded to give him Hannahâs home address, along with details of her house, and the location of the spare key. She finished by thanking him, then went off to masturbate for hours as she thought about all the wonderful things that could be happening to Hannah that night.
Iâm such a good friend. She thought with a smile before falling asleep.Â
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One Piece âismsâ - #1
--Episode 2/ Chapters 3 + 4
Theme: Abusive Authority
Details: When Luffy and Coby dock in a town named Shells Town, they quickly learn about their troubles with authority. The mention of Roronoa Zoro and Marine Captain Morganâs name expels fear in the citizens for some similar reasons. Later, after meeting the Pirate Hunter tied to a post, they learn about Morganâs tyrant ruling over people. Specifically, those that openly defy his rules and authority, treating them like inhumane scum.
Characteristics:
1. Authoritarian Leadership - (Dictatorship quality)
2. Inferiority (Superiority) Complex
3. Obsession with âtreacheriesâ, insubordination, or lack of power over even small matters.
4. Alignment: Lawful Evil
5. Unfair imprisonment - Zoro and the existence of a Crucifixion Yard.
Very early on in the series, we have, what I would describe as a mild introduction to certain conflicts the protagonists face. Now whether or not you ever watch movies or read books centered around pirates, itâs common sense to know they are enemies to the worldâs government(s).
Itâs not to say pirates donât have their own form of government or authority -- any society or civilization has one that was structured around those who first joined-- but they separated themselves from the one governed by kings/queens/emperors/ or anyone who governs with written or traditional laws.
So, if being introduced to a character, who begins his journey as a pirate, we would expect his enemy to be the Marines right off the bat.
Not so unusual. Luffy has shown to have a gray morality or chaotic neutral personality, but this isnât well defined until way later on. He does what he wants, with a mindset that says âconsequences be damnedâ. That is pretty much his motto at this point. That being said, the opposite to what Luffyâs side of the story represents would be lawful and justice.
Captain Morgan is actually the first official Marine we see in the series. By that, I mean heâs the first one actually named and given a personality to judge on. Though technically, Helmeppo would be the first to be seen, but itâs his father whose been alluded to since they arrived. Right off the bat, they both show case the worst possible outcome of authorities: power trips, abusing the system, respect is demanded, and rules are absolute.
Both the anime and manga illustrate Morganâs delusions of control and megalomaniac personality quite well, and how Helmeppo thrives in it by hand-me-down powers.
Something to note, I just started reading the manga, but I have watched the anime for a few years now (English dub), and Iâm now just starting the Dressrosa arc. While the anime is good (not perfect) at adapting from the manga, there are more intriguing details to me that do better in narrating the story (at least with the first few chapters).
Here the manga shows tax exploitations:
Some are fairly easy to miss, but the walls and metal gate show signs of poor treatment, or degradation. The anime does something similar with the gate, having more advantage with coloring:
The door used to have what I believe was a darker green color. But now itâs rusted fairly much, even a little on the hinges, and the paint for the symbols looks a little faded. Now, this may just be a way to give texture to surfaces, which is initially true and what I thought when I first watched/read the series. However, the kicker we learn is a little ways after.
Itâs explained that the people are under heavy taxation to the point that it depletes a living wage for everyone. Morgan refers to the people as peasants, so heâs clearly aware of their indigent state. It would explain a little about the state of everything and how he couldâve paid for the erected statue of himself.
The red-circled speech bubbles are especially important, and I think highlight Morganâs character. Itâs my favorite detail with him. Iâm not saying I like the character all around; if I ever meet someone like this, Iâd probably pull a Luffy and straight take a swing at their throat/junk (although I tend to think of the consequences, so Iâd more likely take a legal/other direct action if need be).
No, itâs just...characters with this kind of mindset are fun to observe and explain.
Thereâs another character that is like a mirror image from this Marine: Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Both are high ranking members of their society, wealthy, completely power hungry, apathetic, and fear inducing to their subjects. There are plenty of complications with Azula, but it definitely shows in her first introduction and later on in Season 3 when she has a psychological break down.
Direct conversation from Season 2 Episode 1:
[Ship Captain]:Â âPrincess, Iâm afraid the tides will not allow us to bring the ship into port before nightfall.â
[Azula]:Â âIâm sorry, captain, but I do not know much about the tides. Can you explain something to me?â
[Captain]:Â âOf course, your highness.â
[Azula]:Â âDo the tides command this ship?â
[Captain]:Â âIâm afraid I donât understand.â
[Azula]:Â âYou said the tides would not allow us to bring the ship in. Do the tides command this ship?â
[Captain]:Â âNo, princess.â
[Azula]:Â âAnd if I were to have you thrown overboard, would the tides think twice about smashing you against the rocky shore?â
[Captain]:Â âNo, princess.â
[Azula]:Â âWell, then maybe you should worry less about the tides, who have already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, whoâs still mulling it over.â
I included the exchange between her, the bat-shit crazy royal, and the captain, who has better acknowledgement of the forces of nature, because itâs fairly similar to the exchange between Morgan and the marine heâs talking to about the peopleâs wealth. The marine and captain regard their authorityâs title, and probably have similar worries over their inability to reason maturely.
Any good villain can be vindictive, selfish, and have no regard for others (a lack of empathy), but the one underlining similarity is their negligence with reality. And in order to get like that, there is a deep obsession with control.
Azula wants to disregard nature, specifically ocean tides, rather than change her course and plan. This is a frightening aspect because of her complete ignorance on the mod of reality. She wants to maintain control of her ship, and she is very much willing to sacrifice the safety of others just to feel superior.
While Morgan also wants to keep an iron fist over the citizens. He has this more monetary greed, spending it more in lavish purposes for him and his son. Heâs a little more aware of the fact that the people donât have much money, but to him, itâs no excuse to pay the taxes in full. Thereâs absolutely no regard for other matters in reality, that including personal finance.
The obstacles or personal matters of those âbelowâ him fly over his head. Because what he believes to be a level of respect is absolute obedience. I almost have no doubt that if Luffy and Coby never made it to Shells Town, it may undergone an actual dictatorship like life. When the people have seemingly ran out of money, an alternative subjection-- or showcase of loyalty--probably would have been enslavement and unpaid labor. Assuming that the money Morgan and Helmeppo spend remains on the island at a high fixation.
Maybe thatâs too extreme and would also have economic downfall on the Marines as well, but I wouldnât put it pass Morgan to come up with anymore extreme ideas.
One other similarity with Azula and Morgan is the insane notion of loyalty. This mental state is compromised more with Azula during the final episodes. At that point, she is given the responsibility of being Fire Lord, and with it, comes absolute hysterics and paranoia about maintaining control over everyone. The slightest missteps from her servants enacts a banishment for them, leaving less people to remain under her control. This may have also been a product of Mei and Ty Leeâs betrayal in the Boiling Rock Part 2 episode, completely warping her sense of trust.
There isnât much known about Morgan before he was head of the Marine Base that is explanatory of his own behavior, but he has the same obsession over the concept of loyalty and traitors. Whether the actions are from citizens or his own subordinates, there is no excuse for anyone to disobey him. Hell, he found it perfectly acceptable to kill a marine who accidently bumped a part of his statue, that probably didnât do anything minor to it.
That being said, he has no room to let anyone ignore his orders. When the Lieutenant was ordered to kill Rika because she helped Zoro while tied up, he refused. In response, Morgan went for the kill (heâs very much alive in the anime).
He and Helmeppo also show case this behavior in ways that are actually more foreshadowing for later arcs.
In the manga:
The citizens are bowing as the brat saunters by all high and mighty. This is the earliest render of how Celestial Dragons are introduced. While maybe this isnât necessarily required for the Marine official, itâs more of a by-product on fear-induced situations. A psychological reaction if anything.
The other foreshadowing is the distinction of what the Marines and the World Government consider justice. What is right to them means following the laws-- obedience and purity are absolute. Thatâs a whole other topic in of itself. But it sets up the fight that Luffy finds himself in with the Marine. Morgan thinks heâs wrong and worthless, fighting on the grounds while yelling âI am Marine Captain âAx-Handâ Morgan!â
Names carry power. Titles govern rank and superiority. Morgan believes this should be enough to make Luffy crumble over. Itâs not. This is a revelation that goes beyond what someone holds in status. And thus, making Morgan a rather incompetent leader.
Itâs also rather ironic how, with their battle, itâs very black and white in terms of morality, and the side that views whatâs right is on the âwrongâ side (pirates). Pirates arenât lawfully good, or very empathetic. Thatâs usually not their objective during the Pirate Era. However, if a group of pirates fight against a base leader, and as a result, creates a more balanced, sustainable life for the citizens in the end, there is something drastically wrong with the authority system.
Morgan really sets up as one of the first Marine antagonists, and itâs done using underlining characteristics of higher powers in more tame situations. What one fight could fix within an hour or two, would take more or less years to handle further along in the Grand Line. What One Piece offers is a focus with a type of matter that resurfaces again with different opponents.
~*~*~*~*~*
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Do you have an opinion on the affects of social media on developing cognitive functions, specifically teenagers? I am asking with regard to navigating my son's adolescence. He is 16 and while the last few years have been more turbulent than previous years (with no doubt more to come) I think the road has been made substantially smoother as a direct result of me being able to access your blog, thank you. I don't feel inclined to limit his social media use, it's a part of life now, but it would be
[conât: helpful to have some signs to look out for. I originally typed my son as Si dom with T preference and was trying to encourage his Te but now Iâm thinking heâs more like INTP so Iâve changed my strategy to keep an open mind (and develop the patience of a saint LOL) and help him make the right decisions for himself. He has become more reckless and scattered lately with high value placed on acceptance from friends. Could this be Ne or does social media have a larger influence?]
Iâm glad that you find the blog helpful and I admire your devotion to parenting. You raise a lot of interesting issues, though I may not be the best person to ask since I tend to have a negative opinion of social media. Parenting teenagers requires walking a very, very fine line between giving them enough guidance to avoid bad decision making vs giving them enough freedom to learn proper independence. Itâs a very hard job. Sometimes, the only way to know that youâve veered too far one way or the other is by making the mistake and then adjusting your approach - lots of trial and error. Every kid is an individual, so what works for one kid wonât necessarily work for another. Being able to adapt to their needs is the key point. Itâs art more than science.
Everything has its positive and its negative side. Human beings tend to be short-sighted and easily rationalize bad decision making. When they really want to do something, they are much more likely to envision the benefits of doing it and this then blinds them to the costs. To be a good parent, I think itâs important to teach children how to recognize negative consequences and navigate them more intelligently (i.e. objective assessment of pros and cons that produces rational decision making). However, this is only possible if parents themselves are capable of it. You canât expect kids to learn how to do something well without someone to teach them or model it for them. Unfortunately, I know plenty of adults of all ages who misuse social media just as badly as their kids. Kids learn predominantly through example, so you have to be the first one to follow the rules that you set. If you donât follow any rules yourself, they wonât see the point in following any, either. For example, if all they see of you is your nose in your device, why would they put theirs down?
I donât believe in banning kids from social media, but I do think itâs a good idea to be smart in limiting its usage. Social media shouldnât be a substitute for real and meaningful human interaction, it shouldnât take up so much time that important things get neglected, it shouldnât interfere with maintaining good physical and mental health, and it shouldnât be used as an escape. Teenagers become harder and harder to supervise as they get older because they increasingly have their own life going on. At a certain point, thereâs no imposing rules on them because violating their autonomy only leads to rebellion.
A better strategy is to sit down with them to talk about the importance of using social media in HEALTHY ways, talk about why limits are necessary to avoid the negative/unhealthy aspects of it, and negotiate with them to come up with sensible limits that both of you can live with. If YOU also spend too much time on social media, then itâs even better to join them in adhering to those limits, to model the behavior that you expect from them and give them the feeling of being in it together. When you place limits on one aspect of life, itâs a good idea to expand yourself in other ways so as to minimize the feeling of âmissing outâ. For example, if you use social media for social connection, then compensate for limiting social media by making more effort to go out and join interesting social activities. Putting limits on fun means increasing boredom, so make sure that the boredom is addressed with a healthier option.
Social media is relatively new, so there isnât a big enough body of research about its hidden effects or underlying costs. The few studies that have been done about social media mostly seem to suggest that misuse/overuse has very detrimental effects on psychological well-being. The spread of misinformation is a big problem (i.e. it makes people stupid). Cyber-bulling and violation of privacy are big problems. When you are so plugged in to other peopleâs lives, itâs hard not to engage in social comparison, and this often results in negative self-appraisals that diminish self-regard. This is particularly destructive for teenagers because they havenât yet developed a very strong sense of self and are very likely to use other peopleâs judgment as a barometer of their own self-worth. Adolescence is usually the time that people start to grapple with level 2 ego development. Itâs important for teenagers to learn how to socialize well and fit in with others, but itâs also important for them to learn the dangers of choosing the wrong socializing methods.
People at level 2 ego development are very prone to: experiencing shame/anxiety/depression via negative social comparisons, blindly following the ingroup (and rejecting the outgroup), and sacrificing self-care as they succumb to peer pressure. Helping them is not a matter of trying to stop them from doing these things, because you canât, since doing these things is a natural part of that stage of development. What you can do is offer them guidance about self-care and help them think more critically about the best ways to handle peer pressure (i.e. give them options/strategies for working through real situations), in hopes that theyâll learn how to make better decisions. In the event that they make a bad decision, review the mistake with them. Reflect with them to figure out what went wrong and work with them to brainstorm ideas for how to avoid the same mistake in the future. Ask them what they couldâve done differently (this encourages N development). The PAIN of making mistakes is an efficient way to learn, which means that you shouldnât be in there âhelpingâ to the point that they donât feel the pain of their mistakes.
Discipline is necessary for giving kids a sense of structure. To internalize a sense of structure is to possess a mental framework for making good decisions (usually requires developing the judging functions). At the very least, a child should have their parentâs way of critical thinking at hand whenever they arenât able to solve a problem entirely on their own (i.e. âwhat would mom/dad advise me to do?â). Always be transparent, fair, and consistent in how you punish kids by explaining your decision, why itâs necessary, and what lesson itâs meant to teach them (e.g. self-care, intelligence, respect, patience, etc). This makes it more likely that they eventually internalize your moral lessons and learn to use them even when youâre not present. If you punish unfairly or disproportionately, if youâre a hypocrite, or if youâre inconsistent with punishments, you risk losing their respect, which, in their mind, means that they no longer have to listen to you.
Unfortunately, some kids donât learn well the first time around and you have to discipline them to get the point across. You can develop a punishment scale that begins with a mild punishment for the first mistake and then increase the severity of the punishment for every instance of repeating the mistake. While I admire your patience, Iâm sure you know that laissez faire parenting also has its problems. Overly permissive parents run the risk of losing their childâs respect because itâs easy to fall into the trap of devaluing your own needs whenever the child tests your rules and boundaries, and they will absolutely trample your boundaries if you give the impression of not having any. When you devalue your position of authority in the relationship, you encourage kids to do the same, and then you become a mere source of food or money and nothing else to them. This also enables them to be narcissistic in their approach to others.
Iâm not sure how good you are at communicating, just in case itâs needed, Iâll continue on to say that I believe that one of the most important elements of parenting is establishing a strong sense of trust. If your kid trusts you, theyâll feel more confident about making independent decisions because they know that youâre there to help them should they need it, and sometimes itâs enough that youâre with them âspirituallyâ in their memory of lessons learned. The best way to build trust is to keep the lines of communications open. Good communication isnât about trying to pry information or performing the role of judge jury and executioner. People, let alone teenagers, wonât want to communicate with you if they suspect that all youâre doing is judging them or just looking for an excuse to criticize them (and teens likely get enough of this from their peers).
Communication should come from the heart, use inquiry and sharing of feelings to show that you genuinely care about whatâs going on with them. Good communication should work both ways: listen to each other carefully, be transparent about your motives, be honest about how you feel and what you need, negotiate compromises, and respect each otherâs individual autonomy. You should model the kind of respect that you want them to give to you (I canât count the number of times that Iâve seen parents trying to teach their kids to be more respectful⊠by shouting at them angrily). When they are out of line, remain calm, hear what theyâre feeling (validation), then explain to them that you/people are more likely to take them seriously when they express their feelings maturely. Give them an example sentence of how to express feelings or requests respectfully.
Teenagers are emotional creatures, they live in the emotions of now and donât respond well to appeals to the future. This canât be helped because itâs part of adolescent brain development, so give them some leeway to get their feelings out, but use the chance to teach better communication methods. Sometimes itâs necessary to give them cooling off time before instigating a serious discussion. Recklessness is usually rooted in emotion. Some kids are reckless out of boredom, some out of anxiety, etc. Try to identify the underlying emotion thatâs motivating the problem and then youâll have a better chance of coming up with a good solution. For example, if boredom (or excess energy) is the motivation, then enroll them in productive activities to fill up their time. If anxiety is the motivation, then they need to learn better emotional management skills, perhaps get them a bit of light counseling on the topic from school or a local community organization.
An important part of establishing trust that is often overlooked is the notion of equality. A parent-child relationship is naturally unequal in power, but it doesnât have to be excessively and unnecessarily unequal. There are a lot of different kinds of communication, since people communicate with different intents/purposes depending on the circumstances. More often than not, parents only talk to their kids in âparent modeâ of ordering them around, interrogating them, or criticizing them. If this is the only mode that kids get to see from you, then they will view you as an authoritarian and their approach to you will be rooted in fear of punishment and the desire for escape. This makes it very difficult for them to trust you because youâve taught them that your role is to supervise and discipline and nothing else, which means that everything they do will be as far away from your watchful warden eyes as possible.
Thereâs no avoiding âparent modeâ as a parent. However, you can avoid making that the ONLY mode. A better strategy is to pick your battles wisely so that you use parent mode as sparingly as possible, especially with teenagers that are always pressing you for more freedom. But if youâre not using parent mode, then you have to know how to communicate with them in other modes, otherwise, communication tends to dry up quickly. To build trust, do more activities with them and spend more time talking to them in a way that establishes both of you as persons on equal footing. To be clear, Iâm not talking about the cliche of being friends with your kids; I believe that you should maintain the position of parental authority until they reach adulthood. Iâm talking about communicating heart-to-heart so that they get to know who you are outside of your parental role. Be more willing to share your feelings with them such that they feel encouraged to share theirs with you. Within reason, share with them whatâs on your mind and let them in on whatâs happening in your private world. You donât want to let them in completely, however, because you still need to command enough respect to have some authority over them. Talk about problems youâve encountered or struggled with and how you felt about them, but also talk about what you did to resolve them, which gives them good examples to learn from.
Rebellion is a natural reaction to feeling excessively restricted, and itâs natural for teenagers to feel restricted regardless of whether you are objectively restricting them, because their main preoccupation is independence. Children tend to project their psychological problems onto their parents, and you can make it harder for them to demonize you by humanizing yourself enough for them to empathize with your experience. By communicating in heart-to-heart mode more often than in listen-and-obey mode, they learn that the relationship between you matters in its quality of love and care, not just in whether they follow your rules. When you successfully establish a sense of mutual appreciation for each other, they learn to see you as a person with your own needs and desires, and then theyâll have less desire to rebel against you. If your kid understands that your âparent modeâ is just one part of you but that the greater part of you is a fellow human, then their rebellion is likely to take a softer, more respectful form. As a result of trust and good communication, they are more likely to consider negotiating with you first before running off to do something dumb just to spite you. Let them know that youâre always open to calm and sensible negotiations/compromises because it gives them the sense of having some say in the matter. As you gradually âequalizeâ the relationship through heart-to-heart communication, itâs then easier to transition into an adulthood friendship with them in the future.
From the childâs perspective, I distinctly remember when my parents switched modes with me, perhaps you can recall your experience as well. My mother had a strict rule of never involving kids in adult affairs, ever. Both of my parents come from big families and they all grew up together in a small town (11 siblings between them), so there was always lots of drama going on behind the scenes, but my brother and I were completely oblivious to it growing up. My parents were quite stoic with us and we never really knew what they were thinking, so the relationships were often quite strained because communication was virtually non-existent.
You can imagine my shock when, one day, in my twenties, I was just minding my own business as usual and mom comes into the room and complains about this or that relative. She proceeds to tell me the entire 20+ year backstory of their horrible relationship. I thought she had gone mad for spilling all this shocking info to me out of the blue. Signs of early onset dementia already? But then I realized that this was a role change. I was no longer the kid who had to be kept in the dark. I was now a person who was worthy of being treated as a confidant and even someone smart enough to seek advice from. It was a bittersweet moment. Sweet because, starting in adolescence, people hanker to be treated as an adult by their parents. Bitter because she had decisively given up her authoritarian role and now I had absolutely no cause to keep rebelling against her, lol. The point is, she couldâve given up her authoritarian role more gradually by easing me into the role change in mid-to-late adolescence. We wasted many years being at odds with each other because she couldnât recognize the ways that I had matured. And some parents arenât flexible enough to ever make the switch.
In the end, you can only do your best. If I had to come up with a motto about parenting it would be that âAttention is loveâ. Just be attentive and respond to whatâs important to them. Teens appreciate your care even when they donât show it or claim to not want it, so long as you respect their emotional needs.
PS: Thereâs already a parenting title on the resources list about teenagers and social media that might be of help.
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so iâm writing a queer fantasy
Iâve had this idea knocking around in my head for a couple of years but it wasnât until November last year that I really started fleshing out the story and getting a solid plan for it put together.
Iâve finally put together a rough plot and decided to share my ideas and worldbuilding with yâall as I work through it to kind of hold myself accountable. My goal is to get a solid, detailed outline finished in 2020. Iâm giving myself a lot of wiggle room because I have other obligations, and what with the current state of the world, I donât want to give myself burnout.
I hope youâll all stick with me as I dev my story! đ
Synopsis
Set in a pseudo-medieval Europe (Balkan/Danubian/Black Sea regions) fantasy setting, this story takes place in a world where magic and fate are chaotic and ruled by irony. The story follows a lot of themes of old mythologies and folklore where Hubrisâą is punishable by the Gods and messing with magic can get you killed.
Our protagonist Kass lives in a pagan village on the edge of an ever-expanding Empire, whose culture is being erased over time as new norms and religions take hold of the region. This year, a plague has struck and, egged on by the Empireâs people, the locals become superstitious, turning on each other in their hunt for answers. When a mauled corpse turns up, Kass is persecuted and their body thrown into a pile to be burned with others stricken by plague.
Unbeknownst to the townsfolk, Kass survives, having transformed for the first time into a werewolf, and flees into the woods. They seek out the help of a witch to cure their âcurseâ and things snowball from there. Thereâs romance, some spooky forest shenanigans, enough personal revelations to knock Kassâs socks off, and they find that they have to embark on a quest across countries, through enemy territory, in a journey of self discovery, self acceptance, and a need to kick imperialism in the teeth.
This is essentially a queer power fantasy, written with the idea of subverting traditional tropes about racial- and queer-coded monsters and how media has historically reserved villainy for people who are othered in society. Our monsters are the good guys, and their âmonstrosityâ is their strength in a hostile world.
Main Characters
See character info below!
Kass KovĂĄch [they/them] - Kass is a 26yo disabled, AFAB non-binary bisexual polyamorous werewolf. They are a metalsmith, having apprenticed under their uncle Theo for 14yrs. They come from a somewhat comfortable background, and begin the story without much thought put into the encroaching Empire beyond the fact that its soldiers bring money to their business. Kass has aspirations of travelling East to see great cities and learn from metalsmithing masters there. A hard worker and dedicated to their family, Kass tries their best to keep things afloat during times of peril, but falls short when other members of their community become victims of circumstance. Over the course of the story, strife changes Kassâs perspective on the world around them, and they come to use their newfound power as a werewolf to do good and protect people from tyranny.
Mila ErdĆs [she/her] - Mila is a 25yo Black cis bisexual polyamorous witch. A talented healer and scholar of magic, Mila trained for over a decade under the tutelage of a Black trans woman, Darcie Gunnarsen, before taking over her duties as a local mage. Despite being ostracised from society for her use of âpeasant magicâ, Mila is a kind woman who values her independence and work as a healer greatly. She has a strong moral compass and doesnât believe in compromising her values for others. Unlike Kass, she sees the suffering of those around her but isnât confident in her abilities to make a difference. Over time, she learns to use her strengths and fights to liberate the people from imperialism.
She also has a cute and snarky pigeon familiar called BoĆĄko!
Marcel Dunajski [he/him] - Marcel is a 99yo blind, cis asexual vampire. He comes from a family of old money, and owned a massive estate in his youth prior to becoming a vampire at 28yrs old. Due to his vampiric condition, he lives in isolation with Mila in the forest, and uses her familiar as a companion and helper to get around when he canât see*. He is an outspoken and fun-loving individual, often saying that he lives vicariously through his friends. Marcel spends his time (which he has a lot of these days) on his various hobbies, including painting, crafts, and scaring people in the woods. Heâs half the reason the locals think the forest is haunted, and heâs very proud of this achievement. He has a history with social justice and an infamous feud with long-dead members of the ruling class, and tries to keep his identity as an immortal hidden so he canât be held accountable for his various misdemeanours.
*Vampires in this world have magical abilities like night vision, and so Marcel can only partially bypass his disability at night when his powers âturn onâ. Night vision =/= how other people generally see, and there are trade offs to using his powers. This takes energy to use and is not a permanent fix for his sight â and he has no concerns about getting rid of his disability anyway. The magic in this world is never going to be used as a âcureâ for charactersâ disabilities.
Letâs get this ball rolling!
If these characters and their story pique your interest and youâd like to enable my rambling see me talk more about them and help me develop this story, feel free to send me an ask about it! There definitely will be memes!
â Iâll tag all posts relating to this story as the enby werewolf thing for the sake of making it easy for people to find info about it!
#the enby werewolf thing#writing#writers on tumblr#writeblr#queer fantasy#queer SFF#writing diversity
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Five @ Five @thursdayeuclid
As a part of our author spotlight, weâve asked each writer to highlight 5 fics and tell us a little about their experience writing (or reading) them.
Modified Aspect Ratio by @sabrinachill
Quentin flinches when party hats suddenly appear on all three of their heads - the pointy, cardboard kind, with elastic straps that bite into the soft underside of their chins. Crepe paper streamers float in the air and balloons drop from where a ceiling should be, drifting down to scatter across the white expanse that serves as a floor. Tiny multicolored fireworks explode into shapes like smiley-faces and stars, and a three-tiered cake coated in yellow and red icing pops into existence in a puff of flour, hovering to the monsterâs right.
But the biggest decoration - and weirdest, by far - is the enormous blue neon sign with the words âWelcome to Hollywood!â strobing insistently against the white blankness.
The monster is now wearing a wizard costume, for some unknown reason, and bouncing up and down while clapping its hands and performing a horribly off-key rendition of âParty in the USA.â
âThis is officially the worst party Iâve ever attended, including the one where we murdered a couple of gods,â Eliot mutters.
Quentinâs answering sigh is epic and professional-grade, containing all the exasperated resignation in the galaxy. âWhy is it that everything that happens to us is always equal parts absurd and terrifying? I mean, I could accept regular old fear and tragedy, sure, whatever, everybody gets those. But itâs like the universe gets off on dicking us around.â
He wants to slump, all dramatic and defeated, but heâs still pinned in place by the monsterâs powerful will, like a butterfly in a display case.
This has to be my favorite Queliot AU. It's patently ridiculous but just believable enough to really touch your heart. Which, honestly, is most of the show too. I laughed and cried reading this. It's amazing and unpredictable and goes places I would never have imagined.
to be unbroken or be brave again by @milominderbindered
After the fourth time it happens, Josh decides to go for it, and as theyâre bathing in the sweaty afterglow, he asks Margo if she wants to go on a date.
Margo looks at him, up and down, and says, âNo offence, Hoberman, but no.â
âOh.â Â Joshâs stomach sinks a bit. Â He pulls up his pants and takes a joint out of his pocket. Â âOkay, thatâs chill too. Wanna smoke?â
âOh, donât look all sorry for yourself,â Margo says, rolling her eyes as she picks herself up from the bathroom floor and inspects her hair in the mirror. Â âItâs nothing personal. Youâre nice, the sex is good, whatever. But, listen. Eliot is my best friend, and heâs going through this incredibly shitty time right now. Â Specifically to do with love. Â Itâs been a couple months since that Mike shit went down, but heâs still seriously messed up, and heâs my first priority, capiche? Â Iâm not gonna start dating someone and just leave him by himself half the time, or shove a bunch of lovey-dovey crap in his face. Â No way. Iâm not gonna date anyone until Eliotâs dating again, too.â
âRight,â says Josh, slowly, as he lights his joint and thinks about it. Â âNot until heâs dating someone too. Got it.â
He thinks about the party raging downstairs, and about what he knows about Eliot. Â Eliotâs had no problem hooking with guys recently, everyone knows that, but heâs not kept anyone around for more than a night. Â Heâs heard Margo calling it Eliotâs attachment freak-outs when he drops the guys as soon as they suggest sucking his dick more than once , which makes sense. Â Except. Well, thereâs that one first year, with the floppy hair and the Lord of the Rings t-shirt. Â Eliot and the first year with the weird name havenât hooked up, according to Joshâs well-informed rumour mill, but he certainly seems to be the only person other than Margo who Eliotâs remotely interested in spending time with when heâs not drunk.
There arenât a lot of things in life Josh Hoberman has an excess of. Â But heâs not hard up for money. Heâs got a trust fund and a drug hustle. Â And heâd spotted Eliotâs first year at the school noticeboard taking the number for a three-headed-dog walking ad, the other day.
So, just like that. Â The threads tangle together.
So this is a 10 Things I Hate About You AU (which was itself a reimagining of Taming of the Shrew), and I'm living for it, just right off the bat. I love Hoberman wanting Margo so badly he goes to all this trouble. I love Quentin being morally compromised but just wanting to spend all his time with Eliot... I love it. This story deserved more attention. It made me laugh and 'aww' and have feelings, plus it's on the shorter side so you have no excuse not to read it.
we can kiss like real people do by VeryImportantDemon
âNo offense,â Quentin began, squinting at the stranger, âbut I donât know you, um⊠Janet.â
âNone taken,â the man said. âAnd my nameâs not Janet, itâs Eliot. None of the names on these things are right, we just grab a nametag.â
âOh,â Quentin said. He supposed that made sense. âBut I still donât know you.â
Eliot shrugged again, taking a sip of his coffee and licking his lips afterwards. Q tried to pretend like he wasnât staring, but he and Eliot both knew that he was. âIn that case, it canât hurt to tell me, then,â he added.
âWhy are you even here?â Quentin asked, stalling for time. Maybe the ridiculously attractive barista was on break and if Quentin talked long enough, that break would be up and he wouldnât have to confess his embarrassing predicament.
âYouâre sad and cute and I was bored,â Eliot said. âNow, spill.â
He was not to be deterred so Quentin didnât have very long to dwell on the fact that heâd just been called cute. âI, um⊠I kind of lied to my dad,â he said.
âOoo,â Eliot said, leaning forward. âExciting. About what?â
âItâs not that exciting,â Quentin said. âI just⊠Heâs worried Iâm lonely and he keeps asking if Iâve met someone. I just told him I had a boyfriend once to get him to stop asking and now he wants to see a picture of us.â
âMmhm,â Eliot said. âI think Iâm following. Why didnât you get that snack that was here earlier to take a pic with you?â
âI canât,â Quentin said, wondering how his life had gotten to the point that he was having an impromptu therapy session with a barista. âThatâs Penny. Heâs my⊠Sort of friend? And heâs kind of an asshole.â
âPity,â Eliot said. âThis your phone?â he added, gesturing to the phone on the table.
âYeah,â Quentin said. Before he said anything further, Eliot scooped it up, unlocked it with Quentinâs face, and then set about doing something Quentin couldnât see. âHey!â he protested. âThatâs my phone!â
âI know,â Eliot said. He rose from his chair, crouched down beside Quentin, and flashed a mesmerizing smile. Quentin was sure he looked a little startled and confused in the selfie because he really was confused. Eliot moved fast. He tapped on Quentinâs phone for a few more seconds as he crossed the table and sat down in the chair he had previously occupied before tapping a few more times and sliding the phone back to Quentin. âThere,â he said. âProblem solved.â
I am a complete sucker for fake dating, and this story has a delightful array of truly ridiculous fake dating tropes. Also, it has transgender Penny dating Margo, and as a trans man, I can only aspire to such absolute game. Well done, trans Penny. Godspeed you, good man. There's a scene where I was freaking out and very upset and the author had to reassure me in comments it would be okay, so I kept reading, and everything was lovely in the end.
The Honor of Your Presence by Page161of180
One of the first years-- Elliott (oh no, that is too confusing, even in his own internal monologue), ah, Todd doesnât remember her name, not because he doesnât care, but because there are two Emilies and an Emilia in the new class and he hasnât quite sorted them out yet. Maybe he should ask them about their middle names?-- makes it halfway down the stairs, before coming to a dead stop at the sight of the PKCâs friendly neighborhood post-grad locked in a silent stare-off with a six-foot-something R-rated Disney prince in head-to-toe-- Toddâs pretty sure itâs brocade? Itâs very shiny and kind of between mint and seafoam. Definitely a nice color, against pale skin and dark hair. Which Todd knows from dressing himself , not because he spends that much of his time thinking about-- Not that thereâs anything wrong with--
Ha. Ha ha. What? Not the point.
Todd shakes his head frantically at Emily, Emily, or Emilia, and she gets the message, turning back up the stairs and retreating to the safety of her room. Todd wishes he could go with her. Not, like, with her , specifically; heâs more into Emily (other Emily? Or maybe sheâs Emilia?), honestly. But, you know, away . Would be good.Â
Neither Eliot nor Quentin seem to notice she was ever there.
Eliot has been staring at Quentin for one minute and forty-five seconds, Toddâs face going more ashen with each moment that slips away, when the former (still?) king finally says, âIâm sorry. What ?â
And if it were Todd facing down Eliot like that (not that it would be; why would he be dating Eliot? Crazy.), he would have basically just, become one with the carpet, because that only sounds like a question. It is very clearly, obviously a trap. But Quentin-- man . Quentin has always been, just, super brave. Way braver than you would probably expect from someone whoâs all, sort of, pocket-sized and, um, no judgment but, not really all that good? At magic? Like, not bad-- definitely not bad! Just. Kind of normal and-- soft? If that makes sense? He just sort of always looks like he needs a hug. Which is maybe why Eliot basically always has at least one arm wrapped around him.
Not now, though. Now, Eliot has both arms down at his sides, hands dangerously still, while Quentin crosses his own over his chest and sets his jaw.
This is just one of the greatest fics I've ever read in any fandom, for any pairing, and it's hilarious and feelsy and I had to keep pausing when I was reading it just to sit with my emotions for a minute. I recommend it to absolutely anyone who likes Queliot at all.
Ask Me, I Won't Say No by @veganshailseitan
None of them linger too long in their booth after they collect the gift certificate that will almost cover their drinks for next week-
Wednesday Night Trivia Rule 2: Only Penny and Alice are allowed to handle the gift certificates because they are the only ones who wonât lose them.
-exchanging hugs and kisses on cheeks. Heâs walking out of the bar while texting âa grave mistake he should have learned from by now, but he just has to let the sitter know heâs going to be late real quickâ when he suddenly smacks into something solid, sending his phone clattering to the floor.
Something solid which oh, fuck happens to be a person.
âOh my god, Iâm so sorry,â the stranger says, despite the fact that Quentin should clearly be taking the blame here.Â
Heâs ducking to pick up his hopefully-not-shattered phone before he can even spare a glance at the person, âYouâre fine, I wasnât paying attention to-â he loses the sentence as he stands back up, looking up to a face heâs only seen from across the room â-you?â
His brief interaction with the enemy-
âI donât think weâve been properly introduced. Iâm Eliot. Waugh.â
âUm, yeah, Iâve seen you here before, hi. Quentin Coldwater.â
âQuentin Coldwater?â -sticks in Quentinâs mind for the next week. Heâs excited for trivia. More excited than the usual eagerness for his night out of the house with grown-ups, and nervous for the first time since he could remember. Which is so dumb and shows Quentin how painfully out of practice he is at interacting with other human beings.
He and the guy âEliotâ had barely exchanged two sentences and heâs pretty sure one of them had just been Eliot making fun of his name. But then again, his type has always been the ones that pulled his pigtails on the playground âwhich, yeah super healthy there Quentin, way to goâ except for Arielle.
And there it was: the surefire way to kill whatever ill-advised excitement heâd been holding onto for the night.
Heâs early this week, for reasons heâs already overthinking, so he goes ahead and grabs their usual table. Itâs his week to pick-
Wednesday Night Trivia Rule 1: The person in charge of choosing the team name will rotate on a weekly basis in alphabetical order. That weekâs decider can only be overruled by a unanimous vote from the rest of the team (per the March 2018 addendum).
-so he lets the group chat know heâs there, checks them in with the Quizmaster as To Be Perfectly Queer, (because heâs at least self-aware at this point in his life) and heads to the bar, trying to focus on whether or not he wants to try the new local craft brew they were pushing this month-
And immediately runs into Eliot.
Thankfully not literally this time.
âWell, hello, Quentin.â Eliot looks as surprised to run into him as Q is, which is stupid on both their parts.
âUh, Eliot. Hello. How are you?â just talk like a normal human, Quentin, Jesus.
Eliot smiles, sultry and so over the top that Quentin almost laughs, âFraternizing with the enemy, are we? Iâm sworn to hold our knowledge in secrecy, so donât you dare try to seduce it out of me.â
Quentin does laugh at that, somehow put at ease by Eliotâs carefree flirtation, âIâll try to restrain my charms. Scoutâs honor.â
I actually -just- got around to reading this one and I liked it so much it made me squee out loud on a couple of occasions. It's hot, it's kidfic, it's sweet, and there's feelings and fluff and smut. Basically a ridiculous AU where Eliot and Quentin are on opposing pub trivia teams. However, that premise accounts for only a fraction of this story's considerable charms. I didn't expect to love it like I did--I did, in fact, expect to love it in a totally different way--and then it hooked me and dragged me panting and squirming through a smorgasbord of emotion.Â
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THE TORN VEIL (True Life Story
My husband and I were typically two adorable love birds. Â But, the problem was, I never seemed to understand why our thinking was so different and far away from each other.
When he proposed to me, I felt as though heaven had finally smiled on me directly. It wasnât as if I was in a hurry to get married. Â It also wasnât as if I didnât have other cool guys asking me to marry them then. But there was something just very special about him that I couldnât explain. Funny enough, I had known him right from when I was a teenager. Then, he was just a crush and we were not really close. In short, we were not even friends at all until we had the opportunity of been âsuggested friendsâ to each other on 2go.
READ PREVIOUS STORY:Â Seeking Love
I felt  so amazed to see his friend request on 2go that day. I accepted it like a queen and we started talking. But, our conversations were mainly based on 2go friendship only.  During the era of our friendship on 2go, he never really asked me out and I wasnât bothered to go into a relationship then because I had just gained admission into the university. I wanted to concentrate on my studies.
At that time, Â he was already done with the university and was trying to pursue his dreams. Even though we werenât that close anymore after the death of 2go, we still kept in touch once in a while.
8 years later, we reconnected well on WhatsApp. We began to chat more often. My feelings for him sparked up again but I never ever disclosed that I had feelings for him. One evening, he called me via video call and formally proposed. The truth is, I have never really known him in person apart from when I occasionally see him. I have never spent time with him physically for more that 10 mins. Even though I liked  him and I had known him for years he still was a stranger to me.
I didnât want to accept his proposal initially. I had other guys who I knew very well, who were also interested in me. I also wasnât the type of person who believed in marrying someone just because you are in love with him. I was the type of person who liked to cross check carefully on the personâs compatibility with mine, his views about life, how he handles situations, how his visions and passions syncs with mine etc.
I really didnât know this guy but, I just couldnât bring myself to letting go of him. I just couldnât imagine him getting married to someone else. After giving it a thought I decided to follow my heart and drop my principles. I was determined to work things out and make necessary adjustments as we progress in courtship.
Our courtship began, and I began to notice some little unpleasant traits here and there. Every time I spoke about my observations to him, he promised to work on them. I had my own issues too and unfortunately those areas of my weaknesses were areas he demanded strength from. They were areas he wasnât just willing to overlook even a little. So from a lovely easy going courtship it transitioned into a period of serious mutual adjustments.
When the temptation to get intimate began to slowly creep into our minds, we decided to take our vows. We had the same moral value to wait till marriage and coincidentally we both were virgins.
All together our courtship lasted for a year and 8 months.
Marriage began beautifully. It felt good to be with the one that my heart longs for, irrespective of the imperfections, but little did I know that with time, those imperfections could actually choke that love.
Petty issues concerning my inadequacies, that I was still in the process of working on, began to arise. I also began to get dissatisfied with the level at which he chased me as a wife. I felt as though he wasnât so much into me as I wanted.
He was the official type of man while, I was the playful type. He was good to me but not just as romantic as I wanted it. On the other hand I was the type who liked to take things easy and casually while he was a perfectionist on everything.
Despite the frictions, we also couldnât deny that we really were in love and cared about each other. Yet, a solution was needed because we gradually became very dissatisfied with each other even though the love was there.
Things however heightened when his mother began to creep into our home. I had occasionally complained about him to her thinking she could help me talk with him. But it opened the door for her to enforce her Will entirely in the home. I never knew she didnât really like me until she began to display herself.
Sheâd deliberately cause confusion in my home by lying to her son about me. Knowing that he respects his father, sheâd sometimes go through her husband to make sure my husband does her wish.
Well, whether her wish was either good or helpful, no woman likes her home been controlled. No woman likes her voice silenced in her home.
When she realised that my husband had began to dance to her tune, she stopped the pretense and then began to treat me with serious hatred openly. It was quite frustrating.
On several occasions, I had a heart to heart discussion with my husband concerning it. Only for me to discover that, heâs the type that never sees anything his parents do as wrong even though itâs staring him in the face.
His mind and ideology concerning marriage turned out completely different from mine. He began to see marriage differently like his father. He began to see that as the husband he needed to be a man, gain full control financially, be demanding, secretive, etcâŠ.  As if that was not enough he began to exhibit the ideology that I have been bought by his family and must be loyal to their wish and will, serve them with my money, time and strength etc.
Sure⊠before then we had our differences. But, we both were making efforts to adjust in love. During the early years of our marriage, his parents were locked out completely from our affairs. We lived in another city and we rarely saw them except through phone calls. But the moment I began to run to his Mom, it was as though I had given them a legal right to intrude.
Again, with the way my husband easily changed in their favour, it appeared to me that, he was informed by his Mom that I came complaining and probably, lies were also told against me just to make him feel Iâm not worth the effort at all.
At a point, I could physically feel the warmth of our love turn into ice. Â My husband never reasoned with me anymore. He never showed any concern about my feelings anymore.
On my way home from work one day, I kept brainstorming for a solution to all these. Even though divorce was a very good option, I just felt I needed to try out other options first. Moreover, I also didnât want the kids to be affected by the dangers of a broken home.
As I tuned the car radio on, in search for a clear frequency, I accidentally landed in a radio station who had a Christian program on marriage going on. As I carefully listened to the speaker, I felt like she was speaking directly to me.
She opened my eyes to the realisation that, neither my husband nor his mother nor his father nor even his friends were the real problem. She made me to see that there are no two perfectly compatible individuals. Then she went on to reveal the real solution to a mutual and  non penetrable marriage, irrespective of the former preconceived notions of both individuals.
She said that when married couples begin to think differently in a way that endangers the unity of the marriage, it is  necessary that either both couples or one party takes up the responsibility to tear the veil. She described the veil as the demarcation between the minds of both individuals that causes an imperfect fellowship between them and also a separation in the way they see things.
She said that during her years of counselling married couples, she discovered that no one really intends to offend the other. She also said she had also observed that when both couples are made to explain their views individually, it most times happens that both couples are right in their individual way. But all they needed was oneness of mind and understanding. She said that, Once the veil is torn theyâd be able to see things from each otherâs perspective and compromise easily to suit each other. She said when the veil is torn, youâll hardly hear complains like;
âHe doesnât understand me
He doesnât care
Sheâs rude
She doesnât respect me
etcâ
Whereas itâs not true. The partner just cannot see and understand how the other partner thinks, cares, respects etcâŠ.. And this can be very frustrating.
âNow the question is HOW IS THE VEIL TORN?â ,   âŠ.She finally asked.
On hearing that, I carefully parked my car along the road just to hear her well and to avoid any break in connectivity.
She went on to explain that:
âIn the inner court of the temple in Jerusalem, was the Holy of Holies. That was where the high priest would go once a year to offer atonement for the sins of the people. A veil, a very thick, woven curtain, separated the Holy of Holies from the rest
of the temple.
But, when Jesus died on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins, that heavy curtain was torn from top to bottom. It was not ripped from bottom to top, as though a man were ripping it. Instead, it was ripped from top to bottom, because God was ripping it.
God was saying, âYou no longer are on the outside. You can come in. My Son has made a way for you.â
Then she continued by saying:
âToday we have easy and direct fellowship with God because the veil is torn. You may ask how does that apply here?
Well, marriage is instituted by God and it is the closest relationship on earth to that of God and His children. It is also the only earthly relationship that involves a man, woman and God.
Moreover, the Bible is full of Godâs intentions of love towards us.
All we have to do is search them out, believe them, receive them, speak them and the spirit of God in you will execute them.
God is loveâŠ. and we should rest on that always !!!!
I often advise that you apply the sacrifice and benefit of the death, Â burial and resurrection of Jesus to your marriages
If the death of Jesus could tear the veil of separation between us and God, the veil that hindered us from seeing God for who He is, understand Godâs will for us and see life as God wants us to, then the veil that separates the mind of our spouse from ours is also torn.
That veil could be individual perceptions, preconceived notions, toxic  external ideas from third parties in marriage, non biblical religious rules, traditions, predominant principles, wrong images, distrust, effects of previous bad experiences etcâŠ.
Marriage is a union between a man, woman and God. Take responsibility now as an individual or together as one. Declare, that by the death of Christ Jesus the veil of separation between the minds of you and your spouse that doesnât allow for intimacy of both minds has been torn and so it is. Command unity between your minds and mutual fellowship and understanding between you and your spouse in the name of Jesus.â
I waited till the radio program was over and then drove right home. Â On my way home, I kept declaring that through the sacrifice of Jesus the veil of separation between the minds and reasoning of my husband and I be torn from top to bottom. I began to command our minds to unite and become one in the name of Jesus.
I took my eyes of my husband and focused on the victorious sacrifice of Jesus on that very aspect of my life most especially, my marriage.
After about a week, I began to notice that we began to exhibit great understanding towards one another. I also noticed that even with cases that we had previously had issues with, we began to easily reach a favorable compromise. My husband began to understand the way my mind works and see things from my view. I also found it a lot easier to understand him and blend with him. We could now easily allow for each otherâs inadequacies without the feeling of been cheated or been inconsiderate. The flow was just natural.
After about 4 months, his mother called as usual to check on a particular issue that she wanted her Will enforced. And for the very first time my husband said to her, âI donât think that would go well with my wife mom and I donât see the need enforcing that when I can personally forfeit it convenientlyâ
On hearing his response, I smiled. Before then my husband would have told his mother that I am a stubborn woman and then theyâll both insist on what she wants forcefully ignoring the fact that he could forfeit it easily, just to make me bend to her rules.
Indeed no spouse is against each other as long as the love is there. The tearing of the veil needs to be enforced, standing on the sacrifice of Jesus. Once that is done understanding sets in. When the minds of two people become one, despite their individual differences, nothing and no one  can tear them apart and thereâs nothing they wonât be able to conquer and overcome in life. Theyâll place one another above themselves, as well as above everyone in their lives.
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Why Democrats Should Be in Power and Why Theyâre Not
The simplest answer is this: the Republican agenda represents and serves only a minority of the populace; the very rich and the very extreme religious right. So how do they manage to maintain so much control for so long? Because while a majority of the populace doesnât agree with them a significant portion are more afraid of the Democrats.Â
Some of those fears are untrue and unreasonable but have taken hold after decades of lies promoting them that were not successfully countered. Some are fair concerns based on the fact that the Democratic party has always been a much more âopen tentâ, welcoming many diverse ideas. Those diverse ideas are important, they often challenge us to think ahead to the sorts of changes that we should be moving toward. At the same time they are often too far ahead of their time. Ideas like the 40 hour work week and time and a half for overtime, were considered extreme, called âsocialistâ or even âcommunistâ when they were first proposed. The key is they werenât implemented until the time was right.
Another reason people fear the Democratic party is that it is the party for change, for progress. In our individual lives change is upsetting and stressful, even if it is positive change we ourselves have chosen. In a society it is even more fearful. We also need to remember that in every situation, no matter how manifestly unjust or exploitive, some people are rich and powerful because of it. They definitely donât want things to change and they will never be so honest as to say it is because they fear losing their wealth and power. They can come up with very persuasive tales. For example, the masses of poor, landless whites who fought for the Confederacy thought they were defending âStateâs rights and a way of lifeâ, not that they were defending a relatively few rich plantation ownerâs ârightsâ to own slaves.
The mechanics of modern campaigns give entirely too much influence to the extremes. Â Hereâs how and why. The extremists of any position are the people who let that idea consume their life. The vast majority of their time and/or money go to their âcauseâ. Â As such, they are terrific tools for a political party to use. In addition to being a source of volunteers they are also a funding source. But as the party relies more and more on their efforts they naturally want more say in the platform and the policy decisions of any administration or Congress that is elected with their help.
That alone would create an ever increasingly vitriolic partisan divide. One might argue that when there is a clear majority for one side or the other it would be resolved. But that ignores two basic truths about this division. The first is that the more extreme the positions, the more they try to paint themselves as morally superior, making compromise or acceptance of defeat more difficult. The second is that fear of change unifies any diversity of conservative opinions, and that fear always makes conservative positions appear the safest, while the forces for change are often fractured and diverse, and in truth the outcome of these changes is not always easy to predict. Thus extremes on the ârightâ tend to cluster closer together on their issues and agenda than the extremes on the âleftâ.
Following the âtraditionalâ political advice of the late 20th and early 21st centuries the Democrats have catered to their extreme left flank. Except that it isnât a unified flank, and incorporating all of its divergent pieces in the partyâs main platform has scared away the significant group of âmoderateâ voters who donât agree with the Republicanâs extreme right wing agenda, but who think it will create less chaos than the combined ideas of the extreme left.
Historically there have mainly been two ways major social changes occur. In the first the forces resisting change remain very strong, creating an ever greater need for change until the forces for change put aside any differences and agree that getting rid of the status quo is the most important next step. Unfortunately this is usually a turbulent if not outright violent transition. The second way is for there to be a strong voice for change that is more peaceful and less extreme, a choice like that between a Dr. King and the Black Panthers. Of course a mix of these methods is what we often end up with, and that complicates our map forward.
This much seems clear â the forces that want to return America to some version of the 1950âs (institutionalized racism, sexism and all) are much better organized than they have ever been. They have been using their own version of the truth so long that now they feel confident in calling actual facts âfakeâ while continuing to offer no evidence for their outrageous claims. It is a lesson straight out of history. The Nazis were masters at the constant repetition of lies. Heard often enough, from enough apparently different sources, people inevitably believed that there must be at least a grain of truth in it. Given some of the Republicans most outspoken supporters I donât think the Nazi reference is out of line.
All of this should lead us to a three conclusions: 1) we need to select a platform and candidates which appeal to those voters who oppose the core issues on which the Republicans stand, without incorporating our most extreme elements. 2) The most outspoken extreme elements need to understand that their ideas still have a place and discussion in the party, but moving them front and center risks making any progress toward them at all. 3) We need to find a mechanism for getting out the message and the vote that is less dependent on the resources (time and money) that have typically been provided by the most extreme supporters.
To the argument that our most committed (i.e. extreme) elements will just stay home and not vote I can only say that I fervently hope they are not that stupid. I can understand that they could be so caught up in their causes that they donât expend extra energy to get out the message and the vote (thatâs why thereâs item three above). But failing to vote for a side that isnât everything you want, while the other side is everything you donât want seems colossally stupid. One must give the Republicans credit, they have kept their extreme elements at the voting booth, even while only going part of the way down their path under most administrations. Our supporters seem to think âlikesâ on social media, or even demonstrations count for something, even if there is no voting. Letâs be perfectly clear about this: It doesnât matter how the majority of people feel, the government only responds to the feelings of those who vote.
Some lies get repeated so long that they seem to acquire an element of plausibility. Like Democrats just want to tax and spend. There is far more truth to the saying that Republicans only want to give tax breaks to the rich and leave the middle class and the poor to fend for themselves. But we donât seem to spend enough effort exposing that. The elephant in the room, that we donât talk about, is that conservatives (ever since Ronald Reagan) have harbored a pernicious belief that if you arenât rich, it must be because you are lazy, stupid or in some other way unworthy. We rarely get to hear them enunciate this clearly, but if you look at the things they say, it is there, even if between the lines.
To call this a naĂŻve and âPollyannaâ view of America is way too charitable. What makes this such a powerful lie is that it is something most people want to believe. Everyone likes to feel like they are in control of their life. It is easier to believe, if you also believe that misfortune is the result of things that someone did wrong. It has the additional benefit of relieving you of any moral or ethical obligation to feel compassion or sympathy for the âless fortunateâ let alone any sense of charity. In all, it is about as perfect a delusion as could be contrived to allow a rich, ruling class to feel self-righteously, morally secure. At the same time itâs attractive to the wannabe rich with its promise that they can achieve their wildest dreams of avarice through whatever means, without a shred of guilt. It even appeals to a certain element of the poor who would rather believe that the rich are there because they deserve to be, rather than feel that there should be some call to action on their part. All in all it is a âperfectâ belief system for those who are lazy or limited of thought and those who like to think highly of themselves regardless of their actions. It is at the heart of every story from the so called âself-made manâ. He (or she) started with nothing and built it all, and if they can do it, so can you. You have no excuse for your circumstances.
To make matters worse, there is a germ of truth in it. Most people can do more for themselves than they imagine. At the same time âmoreâ does not equal enough in every situation. Likewise, there is also some truth to the idea that too much charity and support can breed a dependence that is not good for either the individual receiving it or the public budget. The whole truth is that the âmoreâ people could do, is usually not nearly enough. And whether or not the dependency feared is as prevalent as Republicans would have us believe, it is more often the result of a patch work quilt system that works against itself. Requirements to reapply periodically at government offices during ânormal business hoursâ makes keeping a low wage job very difficult. Most Americans not working at the bottom end of the economy imagine that a day off, or a few extra hours off can easily be approved by their supervisor. This is not the case for the majority of people working at jobs even a few dollars above the minimum wage.
Lately some Republicans have found another bogeyman to blame for the poor prospects of some people â âcheap foreign laborâ. The next best thing to blaming the poor and less advantaged for their own plight is to give them a scapegoat. If you can claim to slay the scapegoat you can temporarily win their support. Of course it wonât work and canât last; this is really about changing economies and more reliance on automation and high technology. This is more of a replay of the time when we simply didnât need buggy whip makers in the age of the automobile.
The solution consists of three parts, I think. First we need to educate our extremes that it is more important to unite for victory, even if all of their agenda is not enacted, than it is to be âmorallyâ superior and completely, uncompromisingly devoted to a single cause.
Second, we need to develop a strategy and tactic for getting out the message and the vote that doesnât depend on so much manual effort being put in by volunteers (who tend to be the most extreme devotees).
Third we need to tell a simpler story about who we are, one that counters the myths and outright lies that have become accepted by the public.
The second most likely involves social media and perhaps using donation money to pay for Lyft or Uber transport to polling places if there are not enough volunteers to provide rides.
The third probably consists of two parts. The first is to tell stories about the personal impact of the injustices the current system creates. People responded to Ronald Reaganâs myth of the âwelfare queenâ who supposedly drove a late model Cadillac and lived in a plush apartment all on welfare â even though it was later proved to be a complete fabrication. That story appealed to a bias that people had about others getting around the ârulesâ that everyone else had to follow. We should have been countering that lie with stories of real people who were struggling through no fault of their own, and for whom the so called âsocial safety netâ had failed.
The second part might be as simple as starting the conversation with the idea of looking at the profit motive. So often touted as the key to Americaâs greatness, it is actually a two edged sword. Where is the profit in providing a cure for a disease compared to a treatment that must go on forever? If I sell you a promise to pay for medical care (medical insurance), do I make more or less money if I manage to keep you from getting medical care? Remembering that time is money, do I make more or less money even if I only delay paying for your care? In the ordinary businesses of the world, is it easier to make money by cutting corners on quality and service or by educating the consumers about the cost and value of quality? Â Letâs call out the supporters of âfree marketsâ. Most business people talking about free markets really mean free of taxes and the regulations that make their work environments and products safe. They arenât talking about a system where there is open access to compete on the basis of price and quality of the goods and services offered. On the contrary, most businesses seek to eliminate their competition and to stifle the emergence of new sources of competition.
And letâs not forget about the reasons we have most of these regulations that are so often treated as inherently bad things. Itâs because of the abuses of profit seeking people who thought that it didnât matter if their promises were lies, and their product was worthless or worse, dangerous. âLet the buyer bewareâ may be a fine piece of cautionary advice, but it is hardly the basis of a code of ethics or responsible governance.
We like to believe that the âfree marketâ brings about innovation and technological improvement. But the sad truth is most of the actual inventors and innovators donât make money from their discoveries. They are either bought out (usually for a lot less than the idea will ultimately reap) or suppressed so that the current technology can have a longer life. This has been the actual history of business in America for a long time. Certainly there are exceptions where the actual innovator did make good, but not only are those the exceptions, on closer examination you will often find that they succeeded in retaining the profit of their innovations through the same sort of ruthless and questionable practices of other businessmen. In other words, the system itself, doesnât reward or properly incent innovative behavior exclusively or directly. In fact, it most successfully rewards a short term oriented, exploitative behavior. All of which alone, are enough reason to regulate and monitor the âfree market economyâ in order to ensure that there is at least a level playing field for those new to the market or with a longer term idea for the betterment of all.
It is most often government âregulationâ from visionary leaders that helps us get to the next stage. Without the FAA promoting and supporting airlines the railroad lobby was more than happy to paint air travel as dangerous and to support the sort of regulation that would cripple the emerging industry. Do you imagine that the people supplying natural gas to the gas lights in cities didnât try to stop the electric lights from being installed? And arenât those same fossil fuel magnates the ones trying to convince us that we donât need to convert to clean and sustainable energy sources?
There is certainly a lot more to be said about the economic system and the myths surrounding it, but if we could just get people to realize that it is not always about the betterment of all; that in fact the profit motive actually works against the common good at least as often as it (unintentionally) helps it, that would be a step in the right direction.
It took decades of slowly building these lies into a cohesive mythos, but we donât have that sort of time to break them down. We need to tell this story more clearly and forcefully. We need to start with health care because I believe most people will understand that their health is not completely within their control.
The opposition likes to appeal to a bias we all want to believe, which is âbad things only happen to bad peopleâ. We want to believe that because it gives us a sense of control over our lives. To be sure, certain life style choices do have a negative influence on our health; smoking, too much drinking, etc. But that is not the whole story. People who never smoked can get lung cancer, and where is the âmoral outrageâ over choices like eating lots of red meat and a sedentary lifestyle, which are just as injurious to overall health as things like smoking?
This all goes back to picking the right issues at the right time, instead of trying to make a âfull court pressâ on every issue. Take the issue of the rights of transgender people. Personally Iâm only interested in the character and talents of individuals. I really couldnât care less about their sexual identity unless Iâm pursuing them as a sexual/romantic partner. I also think that long term, the majority of people will come to the same idea. But in the meantime, the Republican base likes to promote âanti-transgenderâ laws to provoke a kind of fear that there is a great movement afoot to push this acceptance on everyone, ready or not. Spending lots of resources to counter these idiotic moves only validates their fears, and wastes precious capital that could be spent on battles we can win. A simple condemnation of these ideas and pointing out their ineffectiveness (any passable transgender could move completely unnoticed through any number of public restrooms etc.) should be all the attention we give it. We are talking about an extremely small minority of the population, not that their rights donât matter because of those numbers, they do. However, we are in a âbattle field triageâ situation and we simply canât afford to spend time and money on fights that only help the opposition make their bigoted cases. Transgender rights and acceptance have a much better chance of moving forward with us than they do with Republicans and so we need to tell our TG friends to keep faith with us, but not expect that we are going to mount a Supreme Court fight over every idiotic law some moronic right winger gets passed in some redneck red state  haven.
I do truly hope that my fellow Democrats and progressives will take this to heart. We need to win, now more than ever. And I think I can speak to these tactics because I count myself among those who support some of the more âextremeâ positions. I just know that the time is not right for all of them. But it will be if we stay in the forefront and continually push, I believe we will be successful.
I believe personal tales of injustice, where everything was done ârightâ and according to the ârulesâ and it just didnât work will win folks over. People want to believe that we have a basically good society that doesnât let the deserving get a bad deal. But that isnât really how it is. We need to show people the places where the system fails and people suffer unfairly. Intellectual and philosophical arguments may win over the better educated, but chances are most of them are already on our side. If we want to reach the vast majority of people we need to engage them with the facts that the simple fixes they think should solve these problems donât work and let them see people who could but for the grace of God be themselves suffering because that system doesnât work.
I am a member of that generation called the âBaby Boomersâ. We grew up with the âGreatest Generationâ telling us how great America was, and watching super heroes  who fought for âtruth, justice and the American wayâ. I remember believing it was a place where no matter who you were, or where you started in life, you could achieve anything your talent could deliver. Later we discovered that America wasnât quite all of the things we were told it was. We demonstrated, we voted, and all because we wanted it to be the America we thought it was. We need that spirit, that commitment again.
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âEncourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all.â
                                                  -- Deborah DayÂ
CONSUL PERSONALITY (ESFJ, -A/-T)
People who share the Consul personality type are, for lack of a better word, popular â which makes sense, given that it is also a very common personality type, making up twelve percent of the population. In high school, Consuls are the cheerleaders and the quarterbacks, setting the tone, taking the spotlight and leading their teams forward to victory and fame. Later in life, Consuls continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.
At their hearts, Consul personalities are social creatures, and thrive on staying up to date with what their friends are doing.
Discussing scientific theories or debating European politics isnât likely to capture Consulsâ interest for too long. Consuls are more concerned with fashion and their appearance, their social status and the standings of other people. Practical matters and gossip are their bread and butter, but Consuls do their best to use their powers for good.
Respecting the Wisdom of Leadership
Consuls are altruists, and they take seriously their responsibility to help and to do the right thing. Unlike their Diplomat relatives however, people with the Consul personality type will base their moral compass on established traditions and laws, upholding authority and rules, rather than drawing their morality from philosophy or mysticism. Itâs important for Consuls to remember though, that people come from many backgrounds and perspectives, and what may seem right to them isnât always an absolute truth.
Consuls love to be of service, enjoying any role that allows them to participate in a meaningful way, so long as they know that they are valued and appreciated. This is especially apparent at home, and Consuls make loyal and devoted partners and parents. Consul personalities respect hierarchy, and do their best to position themselves with some authority, at home and at work, which allows them to keep things clear, stable and organized for everyone.
Play Dates Arenât Just for the Kids!
Supportive and outgoing, Consuls can always be spotted at a party â theyâre the ones finding time to chat and laugh with everyone! But their devotion goes further than just breezing through because they have to. Consuls truly enjoy hearing about their friendsâ relationships and activities, remembering little details and always standing ready to talk things out with warmth and sensitivity. If things arenât going right, or thereâs tension in the room, Consuls pick up on it and to try to restore harmony and stability to the group.
Being pretty conflict-averse, Consuls spend a lot of their energy establishing social order, and prefer plans and organized events to open-ended activities or spontaneous get-togethers. People with this personality type put a lot of effort into the activities theyâve arranged, and itâs easy for Consulsâ feelings to be hurt if their ideas are rejected, or if people just arenât interested. Again, itâs important for Consuls to remember that everyone is coming from a different place, and that disinterest isnât a comment about them or the activity theyâve organized â itâs just not their thing.
Coming to terms with their sensitivity is Consulsâ biggest challenge â people are going to disagree and theyâre going to criticize, and while it hurts, itâs just a part of life. The best thing for Consuls to do is to do what they do best: be a role model, take care of what they have the power to take care of, and enjoy that so many people do appreciate the efforts they make.
CONSUL STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
Consul Strengths
Strong Practical Skills â Consuls are excellent managers of day-to-day tasks and routine maintenance, enjoying making sure that those who are close to them are well cared for.
Strong Sense of Duty â People with the Consul personality type have a strong sense of responsibility and strive to meet their obligations, though this may sometimes be more from a sense of social expectations than intrinsic drive.
Very Loyal â Valuing stability and security very highly, Consuls are eager to preserve the status quo, which makes them extremely loyal and trustworthy partners and employees. Consuls are true pillars of any groups they belong to â whether it is their family or a community club, people with this personality type can always be relied upon.
Sensitive and Warm â Helping to ensure that stability, Consul personalities seek harmony and care deeply about other peopleâs feelings, being careful not to offend or hurt anybody. Consuls are strong team players, and win-win situations are the stuff smiles are made of.
Good at Connecting with Others â These qualities come together to make Consuls social, comfortable and well-liked. Consul personalities have a strong need to âbelongâ, and have no problem with small talk or following social cues in order to help them take an active role in their communities.
Consul Weaknesses
Worried about Their Social Status â These Strengths are related to a chief Weakness: Consulsâ preoccupation with social status and influence, which affects many decisions they make, potentially limiting their creativity and open-mindedness.
Inflexible â Consuls place a lot of importance on what is socially acceptable, and can be very cautious, even critical of anything unconventional or outside the mainstream. People with this personality type may also sometimes push their own beliefs too hard in an effort to establish them as mainstream.
Reluctant to Innovate or Improvise â Just as they can be critical of othersâ âunusualâ behavior, Consuls may also be unwilling to step out of their own comfort zones, usually for fear of being (or just appearing) different.
Vulnerable to Criticism â It can be especially challenging to change these tendencies because Consuls are so conflict-averse. Consul personalities can become very defensive and hurt if someone, especially a person close to them, criticizes their habits, beliefs or traditions.
Often Too Needy â Consuls need to hear and see a great deal of appreciation. If their efforts go unnoticed, people with the Consul personality type may start fishing for compliments, in an attempt to get reassurance of how much they are valued.
Too Selfless â The other side of this is that Consuls sometimes try to establish their value with doting attention, something that can quickly overwhelm those who donât need it, making it ultimately unwelcome. Furthermore, Consuls often neglect their own needs in the process.
CONSUL RELATIONSHIPS
Prizing social validation and a sense of belonging so highly, romantic relationships hold a special level of importance for Consuls. No other kind of relationship provides people with the Consul personality type with the same level of support and devotion, and the feelings of security and stability that come with strong romantic relationships are extremely warming.
Consuls donât do casual flings â they need to know that their partners will always be by their sides offering unwavering support, and marriage and family are the ultimate goal.
With such a goal in mind, Consul personalities take each stage, from dating to everything thereafter, very seriously. Everything about Consulsâ relationships is based on satisfying mutual needs, from creating understanding early on to building mutual respect and support for each otherâs opinions and goals. Knowing that they are loved and appreciated has a huge effect on Consulsâ mood and self-esteem.
Live Long Enough and Everyone Makes Mistakes...
If they feel like this support isnât there, such as when their partners deliver criticism, Consuls can feel extremely hurt. People with the Consul personality type dislike conflict and criticism, which can make it challenging to address any problems that come up. Nothing is more hurtful or depressing to Consuls than to realize that their partners donât respect their dreams or opinions. Consuls can be surprisingly tough and tireless in the face of hardship, but they need to know without a doubt that their partners are behind them 100%.
Unfortunately, less mature Consuls may lack the inner strength and wisdom to attract this in healthy ways. They can be very needy, compromising their own principles and values in exchange for their partnersâ approval. This is a terrible trap â not only is it unattractive, it can too easily lead to emotionally abusive relationships, which reduce Consulsâ self-esteem further. Another snare is their fixation on social status and approval â itâs not uncommon for Consulsâ social circles and relatives to play a bigger part in their choice of dating partners than even their own values.
...But Learning From Those Mistakes Makes a Better Person
Consuls are warm, loyal people who want to feel trusted and valued. They are great with practical matters like money management and administrative tasks, and are happy to take on such responsibilities in the name of taking care of the people they care about, a wonderful quality. Consuls just need to make sure they take the time to ensure that they build relationships that allow them to satisfy their own needs and dreams, with partners who appreciate their care and generosity fully, and who reciprocate as well.
Consuls are often very organized in how their relationships develop, following established dating rules and traditions (donât call first, third date, etc.). As their relationships enter more sexual stages, Consulsâ emphasis on process and tradition continue with established gender roles and socially acceptable activities.
However, since Consuls are so centered on the physical world and are quite emotional, they tend to be very affectionate and sensual, and overall great sexual partners. People with this personality type love to find ways to make their partners happy, and this sort of intimacy is a great way to do so. As the two partners become more comfortable with each other, Consuls are often open to experimenting and trying new things, so long as their partners are willing to reciprocate.
Consuls have specific needs for their relationships, and certain personality types are best able to meet those needs. In general, partners should share Consulsâ Observant (S) trait, but it can also be useful to develop a sense of introspection that Introverted (I) partners can provide, with maybe one more opposing trait to help Consuls focus on logical decisions when appropriate, or to be more open-minded in new situations.
CONSUL FRIENDS
Consuls are a very social personality type, seeking large circles of friends and proving themselves more than willing to spend the time and energy necessary to maintain these relationships. Loyal and warm, Consuls are known for standing by their friends no matter what, and providing a constant source of emotional support and encouragement.
Consul personalities are also sensitive to the traditions of friendship, seeing the support they offer as much as a responsibility as a pleasure.
Doing everything they can to make sure their friends are happy, and being so comfortable with introductions and small talk, Consuls are naturally very popular in pretty much any environment. This is a dynamic that Consuls genuinely enjoy, but they also expect their efforts and support to be reciprocated. Thereâs nothing quite as hurtful to people with the Consul personality type as finding out that a trusted friend is critical of their beliefs or habits, except maybe being told so in a direct confrontation.
Consuls have a tendency to believe that their friends can do no wrong, always stepping up to defend them regardless of circumstances, and they expect the same benefit of the doubt in return. Consuls can greatly expand their circle of friends if they learn to be more receptive to other perspectives, rather than making snap judgments and conclusions. Itâs important for Consuls, as with anyone, to avoid being insulated from other viewpoints and opinions, to relate to and understand ever more people.
Weâre All in It Together
On the other hand, Consuls are great at using their sensitivity to stay in tune with what motivates and drives their friends. While in their weaker moments, Consul personalities can sometimes use these observations to manipulate others, they are far more interested in maintaining strong relationships, and this is a great tool for doing so. Altruists that they are, Consuls almost always use their powers for good, encouraging and inspiring others.
By and large, the Consul personality type is a pleasant and sincere one. Their energy and social intelligence win them many acquaintances and friends, and their support and dedication keep those friendships close and strong. With so much zest for life and company, dull moments are sure to be few and far between.
CONSUL PARENTS
As parents, Consuls have an excellent opportunity to display their warmth, affection and dedication in ways that have a real and positive impact. Sensitive yet firm, Consul parents are able to establish rules and authority without being entirely overbearing, using their compassion and support to smooth over the occasional miscommunication or difference of opinion.
Having children is often the culmination of Consulsâ life goals, and they cherish every moment of it.
From the start, Consuls try to ensure that their children feel safe and happy. People with the Consul personality type enjoy the support they are able to give their infants, who are utterly dependent on their care. Family being as important as it is to Consuls, this is an incredibly rewarding start to the relationship.
Handling Adversity Fosters Growth
As their children grow and begin to explore more, Consulsâ love and care grows with them, but often becomes overprotective. Consuls may not just keep their children safe physically, but also socially, by arranging play dates, camps and other activities so much that their children arenât free to make the blunders that lead to emotional growth and social independence.
Consuls value harmony and stability highly, and itâs often the case that they try to use indirect pressure to try to teach lifeâs lessons. When they are forced into a confrontation by their childrenâs blatant wrong-doing though, Consul parents step in firmly, and expect their words to be respected. Believers in traditional roles, Consul parents view the parent-child relationship in black and white terms, with their authority as final.
Character Is a Journey, Not a Destination
As their children grow into adolescence and begin to push away from their parents, Consuls can take this transition personally. Feeling like they are losing their children, Consul personalities sometimes try to prolong their dependence as long as possible. Itâs important to remember that when grown children leave the home, itâs because their parents were successful in preparing them for the next phase of their lives, an accomplishment Consuls can be proud of.
Consulsâ children will always appreciate the sensitivity and warmth that they were raised with, and as time goes on and they have their own children, they will cherish the fact that those children have the benefit of grandparents who love and care for them unconditionally.
CONSUL CAREERS
Because Consulsâ traits are so strongly expressed, leading with practical sense and social vigor, the careers they find most satisfying usually revolve around making the best use of these qualities. Consuls are well-organized, enjoying bringing order and structure to their workplaces, and often work best in environments with clear, predictable hierarchies and tasks. Monotony and routine work are not a challenge for the Consul personality type, as they are happy to do what needs to be done.
Cooperation, not Conflict
Careers as administrators are a natural fit, allowing Consuls to organize not just an environment, but the people in it. Their practical skills combine well with their dependability, making Consul personalities surprisingly good accountants â though they often prefer to be personal accountants, helping people and interacting with them directly, instead of corporate accountants crunching numbers in some back room.
Purely analytical careers are often too dull for Consuls though â they need human interaction and emotional feedback to be truly satisfied in their line of work. Good listeners and enthusiastic team members, people with the Consul personality type are excellent providers of medical care and social work. Teaching is another great option, as Consuls are comfortable with authority, but are supportive and friendly enough to keep that authority from feeling overbearing.
Consulsâ best careers all have the additional benefit of providing them with perhaps their most important requirement: to feel appreciated and know theyâve helped someone.
Being as altruistic as they are, Consuls find it hard to be satisfied unless they know theyâve done something valuable for another person. This is often the driving force behind Consulsâ careers and career advancement, and makes religious work and counseling particularly rewarding.
Whatever they choose to do, Consul personalitiesâ comfort with busy social situations and practical knowledge and skills come together to create people who are not just able to be productive and helpful, but people who genuinely enjoy it.
CONSULS IN THE WORKPLACE
When it comes to the workplace, Consuls have clear tendencies that show through regardless of their position. People with the Consul personality type thrive on social order and harmony, and use their warmth and social intelligence to make sure that each person knows their responsibilities and is able to get done what needs to get done. Consuls are comfortable, even dependent on clear hierarchies and roles, and whether subordinates, colleagues or managers, Consul personalities expect authority to be respected and backed up by rules and standards.
Consul Subordinates
With clearly defined responsibilities and a sense of purpose, Consuls are patient, efficient, hard-working people who respect the authority of their managers. While Consuls may struggle with too much freedom and improvisation, they thrive in workplaces with structure, safety and guidelines. Routine tasks are not a problem for Consuls, and their dedication and loyalty earn them the respect of their managers.
Consul Colleagues
Teamwork is a concept that Consuls have no trouble putting into practice. Often seeking friends at work, people with this personality type are almost always willing to lend a hand when and where itâs needed. Excellent networkers, Consuls always seem to âknow just the guyâ to bring a project together on time. On the other hand, Consuls often need to work on a team â being stuck alone chipping away at paperwork for days on end just leaves them tired and unfulfilled.
Consuls take pride in these qualities, which has the side effect of making them particularly sensitive when they come under criticism. When their suggestions and help are turned down, Consul personalities can take it personally. Already somewhat vulnerable to stress, rejections like these can be pretty demoralizing, and Consuls may need their coworkers to make an effort to express their appreciation from time to time.
Consul Managers
Consuls enjoy the responsibility that comes with organizing social situations, and the enjoyment they feel in managing other people translates well into management positions. As team leaders, Consuls find ways to make everyone feel involved, uniting people and smoothing relations in order to get things done.
At the same time, Consuls have a strong respect for traditional power structures, and if after all their efforts convincing their subordinates to work together someone ends up challenging their authority, they can stress out, lose their temper, and just generally react badly. People with the Consul personality type are sensitive about their status and dislike conflict, and prefer situations where everyone knows their role. So long as expectations are clearly outlined, Consuls are effective and enjoyable managers.
CONSUL PERSONALITY â CONCLUSION
Few personality types are as practical and caring as Consuls. Known for their reliability and kindness, Consuls are good at creating and maintaining a secure and stable environment for themselves and their loved ones. Consulsâ dedication is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.
Yet Consuls can be easily tripped up in areas where their kind and practical attitude is more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is navigating interpersonal conflicts, confronting unpleasant facts, pursuing self-realization, or managing your workload, you need to put in a conscious effort to develop your weaker traits and additional skills.
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