#AND ALSO LYON MY LOVE TOO

[baeshijima]

starting a fairy tail binge after not finishing s2 for 6474846822 years and man. it really is a lot of nostalgia 😭

[mara-and-its-the-same]

hello there! I would love to read any of your thoughts/fics about Cal and/or Danny!

OR?! I could never pick between them, but for the sake of introductions let's start with thoughts because the fics are coming don't you worry. They just need a little fine tuning

Teeny thoughts/HCs for both below the cut (it's yap central up in here)🥰

Cal

I'm so obsessed with the way he talks, like absolutely entranced by his cadence and I love every scene of him telling some story. and I know that he'd know that, maybe not right away but eventually he'd recognize the look you give him around the bonfire while he's talking to the group is the same one you give him late in the evening close to the final page of your date nights. OH MY GOD!

when you find out he speaks french! i'm woozy just thinking about it, (i don't even care that i can't understand quebecois for the life of me) you'd ask him to say something to you just so you could hear the sound of it. even if he's gotten a little rusty since he hasn't has anyone to speak it with, and even if all he can recite are the few stories he remembers from his childhood, or motorcycle parts he's learned from the translations on the back of manuals. like a late night and you cant sleep and you just want the sound of his voice to relax to...he might not totally understand the attraction, but he's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth and if you're into it who is he to deny you such a simple wish?

and I don't think he'd be the type to be one of those "my old ball and chain" guys, like he's undoubtedly in love with you and in love with being around you as often as possible. so if you're home while he's working in the garage he's setting up a lawn chair for you to relax in, just to keep him company, if the weather's nice he's putting it out in the sun for you and if it's a little too hot he sets you up in the shade with a little cooler with whatever the two of you are into that week. and he's certainly not letting you lift a finger. not because he thinks you'll break something (which like you might, but who am i to judge) but because he doesn't want you getting grease all over your outfit or roughing up those soft, pretty hands of yours. he just wants your company

Danny

for right now in this moment, i'm all over the idea of being his "girl back home" like he's out in chicago with all these bikers getting into god knows what kind of trouble, while you're safe at home just thinking about him every hour of every day. of course he calls whenever he gets the chance, but it's never a sure thing with the amount of time he spends out on the longer runs. and long distance calls are expensive, but every time he does it's so precious. the few times you hear some new midwestern phrase or pronunciation slip in and get a few extra seconds on the call just to poke a little more fun at him.

the guys get ahold of his wallet one day and can't believe he's kept you a secret this long. 3 different pictures of you sit in the accordion folded holder between the fold of his wallet and he thanks god for the feeling he got that morning he should change the ones he had in before (much more,,,invigorating if you will), for these three that he brought with him too, just to be sure he can see all your different expressions every time he reaches into his back pocket.

AND WHEN YOU COME TO VISIT!! at first he's not so sure it's the best idea, worrying you won't like the guys or something might happen once you're there, but all that is secondary the moment he thinks about how long it's been since he's last seen you, and before he knows it he's calling you back and taking you up on that offer to get a week off of work and coming to see him. Once you're there he's not leaving your side for a minute, firstly because he feels the need to let everyone else know you're his (and that you are real, as much as Zipco and Wahoo tried to get him to admit to the pictures in his wallet being magazine clippings because what's a girl like you doing with a pinko "college-boy" like him) and second because he's missed you so much for so long and he doesn't know the next time you'll be back so he's getting every second he can with you

and oh goodness are you impressed with this new look he's adopted. so different from what he used to wear to class or out walking around the city together, but still it fits him so well. your knees almost give out the 3rd day of your visit when he comes out from his bedroom in a black tank top and his denim vest...and maybe you do feign heat exhaustion just so he'll take you home early on the back of the bike he's spent so many phone calls telling you about...just because the heat was a more internal kind doesn't mean it's any less real. or maybe the exhaustion was just that you were getting tired of seeing him look that hot without doing anything about it. either way he hasn't seen you pull him up his apartment stairs that fast since you first started dating

and not maybe, but certainly, your trip goes from one week to two to a month until the tragic reality of responsibility sinks in and you realize you really are running out of clothes...

[yoohyeon]

top 5 characters of all time !!

It’s gonna be all anime / Manga !

1.Juvia Lockser (Fairy Tail)

2.Gray Fullbuster (Fairy tail)

3.Kyo Sohma (Fruits basket)

4.Son Hak (Yona of the dawn / Akatsuki no yona)

5.Alphonse Elric (FMA)

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go

[diari0deglierrori]

Also I wanted to give Tamino tickets to my sibling as birthday gift but everything is a bit too far :/

[woso-dreamzzz]

Shoulder II

Hardersson x Daughter!Reader

Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: They're all hoverers

Sometimes, you think that your family can do no wrong.

Your mothers are loving. Your girlfriend adores you. Everyone gets on with each other, even though Magda and Talia pretend they don't.

Other times, you just want to live alone somewhere on an island with no other people around to fuss over you.

"Are you sure you don't want me to adjust your sling?" Talia asks, lips pursed in thought," I saw you wincing a second ago."

"I was wincing because my painkillers are wearing off."

After your win with Lyon, you had decided to travel back to Sweden with your mothers to finish off your recovery there. You'd told Talia to just return to Spain, to make the most of her days off from football before joining up with the Spanish team.

She'd refused and insisted on coming with you to make sure you're okay.

Nearly a week in now and all three of them were driving you up the wall.

"Should I get you more?" Her girlfriend asks and you roll your eyes, leaning forward to peck her cheek.

"You're sweet, Talia," You say," But I can't take anymore for at least another hour."

She pouts. "Is there nothing I can do to help? Do you want some food or something?"

"No food!" You hear Pernille shout from the kitchen," This is almost done!"

You rolls your eyes.

She's been slaving away on the stove since you woke up.

She'd already had breakfast prepared and lunch already prepped and ready to be cooked. She's making it now but she's also been making it for the past hour now.

You're pretty sure she's cooking dinner simultaneously but you're not too sure. That's the only reason it could be taking this long.

"Are you sure?" You ask," Not even a little snack?"

"No," Pernille says," Just a few more minutes."

You're a little worried, truthfully.

As a child, Magda had always been the one cooking the big meals and Pernille helped by doing little things like putting broccoli in the oven or taking the meat out when asked.

So, you're a little apprehensive at what Pernille's cooking now.

You hope someone gave her a recipe to follow rather than letting her make something that appeared in her head.

"Here," Magda says, appearing at your other side," To tide you over."

A handful of magic stars are placed in your hands.

You used to love these as a kid but they were only ever really bought when you went to the cinema because you never liked popcorn.

You don't know where Magda bought them in Sweden but you're grateful as you throw them into your mouth.

You think Pernille thinks you're going to ruin your lunch, like you're a little kid again that has eyes bigger than her stomach.

It's sweet, you think but a little annoying.

"Have some more," Magda says, shaking more from the bag straight into your hands," You need to keep your strength up."

"I hurt my arm-"

"Dislocated it," Talia corrects.

"-I'm not sick."

"Having chocolate doesn't have anything to do with sickness," Magda says," It's just making sure you have energy."

"You're hovering," You tease and Magda makes an offended noise.

"If I'm hovering then what's Talia doing?!"

"Hovering," You deadpan," You're both hovering."

"We're making sure you're okay," Talia says," You'd fault us for that?"

"No," You say," I fault you for being so overbearing about it. If I feel bad or if I ache or if I need some comfort, I can tell you. Don't you trust me?"

Talia's expression softens a little and she smiles.

"Yeah. I trust you."

"And Morsa?" You say, turning to Magda," Do you trust me too?"

Magda purses her lips, not responding for a few seconds. "I..." She sighs. "Yeah but you have to tell us, alright? No trying to deal with it on your own."

You roll your eyes. "Fine."

"Good girl," Magda says, a sot kiss pressed to your temple.

"Alright." Pernille appears out of nowhere. "Lunch is served!"

It smells alright, the soup that has taken her an hour to make.

You force down a spoonful.

It's horrifically salty.

"How is it?" Pernille asks.

You force a smile onto your face.

"It's amazing."

[meazalykov]

nothing straight

catarina macario x uswnt!reader

warnings: reader being very downbad. best friends to lovers.

since being called up to the uswnt in 2018, you’ve become a world cup winner, and an olympic bronze medalist. you’ve done more by your early-twenties than some people dream of their whole lives.  

yet it always felt like you were alone.  

you weren’t, not really. you had mallory who was your closest friend on the team for years. the two of you had inside jokes, a rhythm on the field, and memories from nearly every camp. however, she had a boyfriend who she mainly paid attention to. it was a serious relationship. when camp ended, your close friend went back to chicago while you returned to barcelona.  

you'd grown used to the ocean between you and everyone else. it was a quiet loneliness, the kind you dressed in smiles and gold medals.  eveyrone on the roster always played for an NWSL club, while your name always had a european one attached to it. you were distant from everyone, having different experience.

in 2021, many new names were being called up to the roster since the olympics were over and the coach needed to start the world cup prep happening in two years. with that call up, you heard a new name for the first time… catarina macario.

you didn’t expect much. rookies came and went, but when she started showing up to every training session with that unbothered look on her face. cool, calculating, and smart…you got annoyed. 

especially when she kept beating you in drills. somehow she was always just a step ahead. that smirk she gave you always pissed you of.

catarina is only a year older than you, you wondered how she was not called up to the senior team before.

however, the attitude of hers is how you both became best friends.  

the rivalry was playful, somewhat annoying, very magnetic. as time went on, it became more. she was your shadow at camp, your roommate during travel games, your pre-game playlist partner. when everyone else slept, you stayed up talking about your lives in back europe, trading barcelona and lyon stories. 

national camp became something to look forward to, because cat would be there. however, the more time passed, the more your teammates started seeing things you didn’t.  

they all saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you. they all saw the way your hand stayed on her arm a second too long during stretches. everyone seen the way she always sat next to you, always leaned her head on your shoulder during rest time.  

everyone knew, though you didn’t or maybe… you were just too afraid to say it aloud.  

unfortunately, cat tore her acl a year after you met her.  

you were still in barcelona when it happened. you watched the replay on your phone, alone in your apartment. you knew immediately.  

you cried knowing the consequence but not in front of anyone. when you flew to lyon to see her? when she sat in that brace, eyes tired, voice trying to stay strong? you broke. of course you had quiet sobs in her arms, and her holding you like you were the one who got hurt instead of her.  

you were in love with her. you knew it then but you kept it quiet for two years.  

barcelona was home for four years, but you finally left in 2023, signing with chelsea.  

why? you said you wanted a new challenge. a new league. what you did not know was that catarina wanted the same thing after lyon… she also chose chelsea.

the thing with being around cat every day was that it made hiding your feelings impossible.  

“fuck… i’m in love with my best friend,” you whispered to yourself one night in your apartment living room. you thought you were alone in the room, while your friends were in the kitchen.  

“yeah. no shit,” sam said entering your living room.  

you flinched.  

“what?”  

“you heard me,” she smirked, “it’s obvious. even kristie said so, and she usually misses everything.”  

you tried to laugh it off, “you guys are just reading into things—”  

“no. you’re just terrified but she’s literally in love with you, you idiot,” sam added, grabbing her water from the coffee table, “talk to her or at least stop eye-fucking her during tactical meetings.”  

you didn’t talk to cat about your feelings at all until one night in 2024.  

it was the post-match. everyone had left to go home after the win against arsenal. london stayed blue (as it should). catarina and you were the only ones still left in the locker room. this wasn’t new. you both liked quiet and liked staying late, never rushing to leave.  

however, this night nearly crushed you.

she had her sports bra on, joggers on and hugging her hips, leaning against the bench, scrolling through her phone.  

your eyes were on her abs and on the curve of her hips… and on her lips. when your gaze lingered too long, she looked up and caught you.  

“what was that?” she asked, voice smooth. teasing.  

“what was what?” you asked, already folding under pressure.  

“that look.” she put her phone down, stepped closer, “you don’t look at anyone else like that.”  

you swallowed hard, “cat, i don’t know what you mean.”  

she tilted her head, “okay sure…you’re bold with everyone else and you don’t take shit from anyone but with me you are somehow the opposite?”  

you blinked.  

“you get all shy. all soft,” she whispered, stepping even closer. the woman’s bare arm brushed against yours, “why’s that?”  

you wanted to speak but you couldn’t.  

she reached down in front of you and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, “you gonna answer me, y/n?”  

your voice came out small, “fuck… it’s because i love you, ok?”  

the air left her lungs like a laugh and a sigh combined. cat’s hand dropped from your face to your waist.  

“took you long enough.”  

quickly, her lips were on yours.  

they were soft at first. tentative. it felt like a question.  

luckily you answered with your whole body, tilting your head, pressing into her.  

you kissed her like you had been waiting years because you had.  

your hands found her hips, hers slid along your spine. macario’s tongue brushed yours and you gasped against her lips, pulling her in closer. the kiss deepened and slowed. after a few minutes, you pulled away with your forehead pressed against hers, you both caught your breath.  

cat’s fingers grazed your bare waist, the hem of your shirt bunched in her palm. your hand splayed over her ribs, the heat of her skin grounding you.  

it felt like a dream.  

you could’ve stayed like that forever…half-clothed, sweaty from the match, stealing kisses in a dimly lit locker room.  

suddenly, she grinned. that damn grin that your bestfriend loves doing.  

“i can’t believe you never told me your feelings, you jerk.”  

you rolled your eyes, breathless, “i thought you wouldn’t like me back.”  

“why not?”  

“i don’t know. i thought you were just… fooling around. maybe straight.”  

she laughed, “you look and act more straight than i do.”  

she wasn’t wrong.  

“i don’t think there’s anything straight about the way i feel about you, cat,” you whispered.  

she leaned in again, kissed you softer this time.  

“good,” she murmured, “because there’s nothing straight about how i feel about you either.”  

masterlist

[moonlight-alexia]

pair of pests: lyon (II) ˏˋ°•*⁀ kyra x catley!reader, short fic/blurb

kyra cooney-cross x reader | 0.9k | second part to this, you tell harper you're moving away

For some reason the thought of telling Harper you were leaving seemed harder than telling your sister and your girlfriend. You had such a special bond with Harper, on multiple occasions she’s referred to you as her sister, and you were afraid that leaving England and moving to a different country would break that bond you had with her. 

You had already told Mini and Clara, you didn’t plan on telling them beforehand but Kyra accidentally let it slip on one of your weekly dinners at Mini’s. 

It was just another night at Mini and Clara’s. Another night where you and Kyra crashed at dinner time, not that either of them cared and Harper definitely loved having you both around, if she had it her way you and Kyra would live with them. 

‘So when are you gonna tell them?’ Kyra blurted, seemingly out of nowhere, after you’d all finished dinner and had migrated to the lounge.

‘What do you mean?’ Your voice had a slight warning tone to it, not that Kyra picked up on it. You had a plan for when you were going to tell everyone else, you’d told Kyra but now realising she definitely wasn’t paying attention to you when you told her. Kyra would argue that she was paying attention to you but it was your fault for trying to tell her while you were both relaxing poolside. 

‘That you’re leaving,’ Kyra said it so nonchalant but you panicked inside. Your head turned to make sure Harper, who was playing with her toys a little bit away from you all, wasn’t listening in.

‘Ky, not now,’ You groaned, rubbing your head with your hands. Promising to explain what Kyra was talking about once Harper had gone to bed.

You’re just thankful that you still get to tell Harper without it coming from someone else. That’s all you wanted, when you finally accepted that you were leaving the life you’d built in England, to be able to tell those closest to you without them finding out from someone else or social media. 

Lyon were already so good to you and you’d only just signed with them but it wasn’t unknown by anyone that you and Harper were like a little duo, a fan favourite duo. So when you asked if you could have a little Lyon jersey with your number and Harper’s name on it, they would’ve been crazy to not give you that. 

You had that little jersey in a small gift bag, there was also one for Koby but he was still too young to properly remember this unlike Harper. Harper still wore the Arsenal jersey you’d gotten her to wear that one match, so you hoped that she would like this one even with the news of you moving away for now.

‘Tiny!’ Harper greeted you by jumping into your arms, ‘My favourite sister!’ The last few years you’d gotten to watch Harper grow and you were going to miss not being so close to them anymore. You’d gotten Kyra to promise you that she would single handedly keep annoying them all for you.

‘Your only sister,’ You heard Mini’s voice yell from inside the doorway. Over the years she had just accepted that you were basically one of hers now as well, Harper would introduce you to everyone as her sister anyway. You let Harper lead you inside, you greeted Mini and Clara quickly before Harper took you to the living room where she was previously playing so you could play with her.

‘Hey Harps, I’ve got something to tell you,’ You spoke slowly, not too sure whether to beat around the bush or blurt it straight out, ‘Also something to give you,’ You held up the little bag in front of the younger girl, ‘Before you open it though, I have to tell you that I won’t be playing with Arsenal anymore so I won’t be around as much as I am for a few years,’

‘Where are you going?’ Even if Harper was semi playing with her toys, you knew you still had her full attention to what you were saying.

‘I won’t be too far, just in France. I’ll be playing with Ellie at Lyon,’ A year ago you and Kyra were looking after Harper and Koby when the topic of your contract came up between you and Kyra. Both of you knowing you only had a year left. Not knowing whether you’d stay at Arsenal or move on to a different club, all Harper told you was that as long as you still had a friend, someone from the national team, at the club playing with you then it didn’t matter where you went.

It was a sweet gesture, Harper just not wanting you to be alone or without any friends though you seemed to easily make friends and fit into any of the clubs you’d already been at, ‘I also got you this little jersey. Just like the Arsenal one but for my new club,’ You took out the jersey and held it up showing her the back. 

There wasn’t any hesitation, Harper put on the jersey as soon as you handed it to her. Running off to show everyone in the house while you followed behind, ‘I’m gonna miss you,’ Harper ran into you, wrapping her arms around you, giving you the biggest hug she could. The weight of your words hitting her that you were going to be in a different country, ‘But I’ll come visit and promise you’ll visit me,’ 

‘You couldn’t keep me away,’ You held up your pinky for Harper to link hers with yours. A pinky promise, one that you wouldn’t dream of ever breaking.

[lvnleah]

Secret Transfers | Lia Wälti

Based on this request :)

Summary: you and Lia have been dating for five years and Arsenal put in an offer for you. You accept it but keep it all a secret from Lia.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You were sitting on your balcony in Barcelona, a thin blanket was draped over your legs as you read your emails from your agent. Your contract with Barcelona was soon up and as much as you loved the club, you felt it was time for a new challenge.

You’d been with Barca for two seasons now and you’d won the league with them twice as well as the champions league.

Being from England, you wanted to go back to the WSL for many reasons, one being so you could be closer to your family but also your Girlfriend, Lia. Another was that the WSL was where you’d started off and you wanted to return there.

You’d been with Lia for five years and for all of them five years you’d been long distance. When you began dating you were with Lyon, living in France, and Lia had just moved to Arsenal.

For the first two years you’d take quick and cheap flights back and forth from France to England and Lia would do the same.

Then, Lyon let you go and Barcelona soon snapped you up. They offered you a two year deal and you were quick to accept it, Barca was a club you’d longed to play for and you finally were given your chance.

So in January 2022, you packed your bags and moved to Barcelona. Ever since then, you’d been living on cloud nine. Lia was at every game she could be at, even with the long distance and packed schedules, you and Lia always seemed to make things work.

Now, your contract with Barca was coming up for renewal and you didn’t want to stay. As you scrolled through your agent's long email, you read all of the different clubs that had put in an offer for you and what they were offering.

Man City had offered you a three year deal for £95k a year, Man United had offered you a year contract for £91k a year, Chelsea had offered you a two year contract for £94k a year. A few other WSL clubs, as well as some clubs in Europe, were listed but none stuck out except from the very last one.

Arsenal. £400k over three years, £133k a year. It was more than what you were earning at Barca.

The offer echoed in your mind. The club where Lia, your girlfriend of four years, played. The club that would bring you together, finally bridging the gap that had stretched across Europe for far too long.

You knew you’d be dumb to turn it down.

You instantly reached for your phone and dialled your agent’s number. It rang a few times before your agent, Sarah, picked up.

“Y/N!” She said cheerfully, “have you looked over my email yet? Some of the offers are good ones and—”

You cut her off. “I’ll take it, the Arsenal contract, I’ll take it.”

“You don’t want to think about it? Discuss it with anyone?” She questioned, “Chelsea and Man City are good ones too.”

“No,” you said firmly. “I’ve thought about it enough. This is my chance to be with Lia, to play alongside her, and be with my family in London. I can’t let it slip away.”

“Alright, then. I’ll finalise the paperwork.” She agreed, “I’ll get in contact with Arsenal and arrange flights for you to fly over and get a medical. I’ll start looking into houses for you too, any preferences?”

You shook your head, “it’s okay, Sarah. I’ll probably move in with Lia.”

You ended your call with Sarah before climbing into your bed. Excitement filled you like a child, you were finally going to be closer to Lia and your family. And maybe, just maybe, for the first time in five years you could finally live with Lia.

Whilst you were scrolling through TikTok, your phone rang and Lia’s contact filled your phone screen. You instantly picked up, last minute deciding to keep your transfer a secret from Lia.

“Hi my love!” She greeted as she laid in her own bed, “I miss you so much, how’s your day been?”

“I miss you too, it’s been great,” you smiled, “I looked through a few offers from WSL clubs.”

Lia’s face lit up, “and? How did it go? Any you’re interested in?”

You shook your head and sighed, “not really, love. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something soon,” Lia reassured you, “if not we’ll make things work with you staying in Barca, we always do.”

The next few weeks were a whirlwind. You had many video calls with Jonas and his team at Arsenal, all of them promising not to utter a word to Lia. You needed a medical done so one day you flew into London and headed to the Arsenal training ground, luckily it was the day before Lia was playing Liverpool so she was travelling to her hotel with the team.

You passed your medical and officially signed the paperwork, you also managed to fit in some photos that would be used when your transfer was officially announced. A start date that was set for in two weeks was agreed meaning you had two weeks to pack up your life in Barcelona without Lia finding out.

That evening you got home late, your phone call with Lia was quick and short and you hoped that she didn’t suspect anything. The next week, you said goodbye to your teammates and had your last training session. All though you were excited to join Arsenal, you were sad to leave Barca behind.

One evening, as you packed up your flat in Barca, you phoned one of your best friends from Arsenal. You and Leah had always been close from a young age, you’d both met at an England camp when you were eighteen and had been inseparable ever since.

The phone rang for a few seconds before Leah’s face fitted the scream, “Please tell me you’ve got some news about your contract?”

“Well hello to you too, miss impatient,” you laughed. As well as Lia, Leah had been pestering you as well about your contract. “Maybe I have, maybe I don’t.”

“You’re such an annoying rat, you know that right?” Leah joked, pulling her hoodie’s hood up as she laid in her bed.

You sarcastically laughed, “Haha, do you want to know or not?”

“Go on then,” Leah sighed, “wait! Don’t tell me if you’re moving to Chelsea or even worse fucking Spurs because I’ve seen the rumours and if you–”

You cut her off, “Well good thing Arsenal put in an offer and I accepted it then.”

“Fuck off!” Leah smiled, “No fucking way! Are you serious?”

Flipping your camera round, you showed Leah your boxed up flat, “Well unless these boxes are for no reason then yeah, I am serious.”

“Does Lia know?”

You shook your head, biting your lip as you turned the camera back round, “no actually. I wanted it to be a surprise for her and I need you to help me.”

Leah's eyes widened, her excitement palpable through the screen. "This is incredible!" she exclaimed. "Arsenal, huh? You've always been wanted to be a Gunner. Lia's going to lose her mind when she finds out!"

You leaned back against the half-empty bookshelf, a mix of nerves and anticipation bubbling inside you. "Yeah, I thought it was time for a new challenge."

Leah's grin widened. "Alright, spill the plan. How do we surprise her?"

You glanced around your sparsely furnished flat. "I was thinking of flying back to London. You know, just show up unannounced. Maybe at training and I can catch her off guard."

Leah nodded. "Solid plan. We need some confetti and banners, maybe even balloons.”

You chuckled. "Confetti, banners and balloons? Leah, I’m not proposing!"

"Fine, fine," she relented. "But seriously, Lia's going to be over the moon."

You smiled, “Thanks, Le."

You and Leah spent the next few hours on FaceTime, you searched for flights before booking on for a few days' time. She also kept you company as you packed up your house and shared your excitement about how you couldn’t wait to be with Lia again.

A few days later, you boarded the plane to England after letting Arsenal know you’d be arriving. The anticipation bubbled inside you as you boarded the plane bound for London. You couldn’t wait to see Lia’s face when she realised you were actually there but a part of you was scared that she was going to be mad about you not telling her.

The airport terminal buzzed with travellers, and you clutched your boarding pass tightly. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, and when you glanced at the screen, Lia’s name lit up. You answered, heart racing.

“Hi my love,” Lia greeted, despite not being able to see her face you knew she was smiling, “What’re you up to?”

You quickly made up an excuse, “Oh I’m just doing a grocery shop!” You nervously laughed, praying the background noise wouldn’t give it away, “What’re you up to?”

“Just getting ready for training,” Lia said, “It’s a recovery training so it shouldn't be too tough.”

“That’s nice, darling,” You smiled, “Look, I’m going to have to go, I need to pay. Speak to you later, yeah?”

“Oh, okay,” you could hear the sadness in Lia’s voice, “I’ll talk to you later, love you.”

You smiled, “I love you too.”

The flight was uneventful, but your heart raced as the plane touched down at Heathrow. You collected your suitcases, weaving through the bustling airport. Leah had promised to meet you outside the arrivals gate, and you scanned the crowd eagerly.

You eyes soon found Leah, she was in a grey tracksuit with a baseball cap on. She jokingly held a sign that read ‘Welcome home rat!”

“Leah!” you exclaimed, hugging her tightly. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, superstar,” she teased. “Now spill! How’s it feel to be an official Gunner?”

You laughed. “Surreal but I can’t wait to surprise Lia. Is she training?”

Leah nodded. “Yep, she’s already there. Let’s go!”

You and Leah drove to the Arsenal training centre, it wasn’t a long drive but it gave you and Leah a chance to catch up before the chaos of moving in with Lia began.

As you pull up Leah turned to you, “So the girls know, I told them this morning. Is that okay?”

You nodded, “Yep, as long as no one told Lia that that’s fine!”

As you and Leah made your way inside, you bumped into Beth and Viv in the hallway who were just making their way in.

“Oh my gosh!” Beth squealed, pulling you into a hug, “I can’t believe you’re here! Lia is going to freak!”

You laughed, hugging Beth tightly, “I missed you so much!” You let go of Beth before hugging Viv, “You both okay?”

Viv nodded, “We’re doing good, it’ll be nice to have you around. How’re you feeling about being close to Lia?”

“It’s honestly amazing,” you sighed, “I can’t wait to be close again.”

You, Leah, Beth and Viv made your way down to the changing rooms. The team had just had their lunch so were getting ready to go back out on the pitch, Beth was in charge of capturing the moment.

“You alright?” Leah said to Lia, distracting her as she walked into the room.

Before Lia had the chance to reply, you followed in behind Leah and stood beside her.

Lia quickly glanced at you before talking to Leah, “I’m good,” she looked back at you again, registering that you were there, “Holy fuck! What the fuck? Oh my god!”

“Y/N?” she breathed, dropping her left boot. “What are you doing here?”

You grinned, pulling her into a hug. “Surprise!”

Lia’s arms wrapped around you, and you held her close. “You’re really here,” she murmured. “I thought you were still in Barcelona.”

“I was,” you said, pulling back to look into her eyes. “But Arsenal made an offer, and I accepted. I’m officially a Gunner.”

“Wait, seriously?” she stammered. “Arsenal? You’re joining the Gunners?”

You nodded, unable to contain your own excitement. “Yeah, Lia. It’s official.”

She squealed, then tackled you in a bear hug. “This is insane! You’ve worked so hard, and now this!” Her laughter echoed across the training rooming, contagious and full of genuine happiness.

You leaned down and kissed her lips. Her lips were soft, familiar, and everything you’d been craving. It was a kiss that was filled with love and passion. Her hand cupped your cheek, anchoring you in the present. The kiss deepened, a silent confession of all the words you hadn’t yet said.

“Alright, lovebirds!” Leah said, fake gagging, “pack it in, save it for later!”

As the days went by, you settled into your new life as an Arsenal player. The training sessions were intense, but exhilarating. You pushed yourself harder than ever, determined to prove your worth on the pitch. Lia was your constant support, cheering you on all the time.

One evening, after a tough session, you collapsed onto the couch in your shared apartment. Lia joined you, her eyes filled with pride. "You're incredible," she said, brushing a strand of hair away from your forehead. "I've never seen anyone adapt so quickly."

You grinned, leaning into her touch. "It's all thanks to you," you replied. "Having you beside me makes everything better."

[samkerrworshipper]

how did it end? | arsenal x reader

warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression

um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.

Everything about the day had felt wrong.

Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.

It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.

Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.

It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.

It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.

Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.

You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.

After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.

Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.

You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.

You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.

You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.

That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.

Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.

It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.

There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.

On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.

You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.

The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.

After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.

You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.

It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.

Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.

That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.

The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.

Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.

With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.

You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.

Now your life was nothing but a big mess.

You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.

You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.

Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.

It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.

You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.

For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.

Now though, you chose destruction.

You sleep when your blackout drunk.

You drink caffeine late at night.

You stay awake until your eyes burn.

You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.

You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,

You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.

Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.

You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.

You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.

You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.

But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.

Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.

Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.

It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.

“y/n? Is that you?”

You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.

“Hey.”

Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.

“Hi.”

The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.

“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”

You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.

“I wish I’d stayed, le.”

Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.

“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”

You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.

“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”

You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.

“Me too, y/n.”

The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.

“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”

You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.

“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”

There was no working it out, this was the end for you.

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”

You pushed the blade down against your skin again.

Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.

“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”

There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.

“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”

You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.

“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”

Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.

“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”

Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.

“Annulled?”

You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.

“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”

Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.

“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”

You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.

“In my house, in my bathroom.”

Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.

“Your house, where?”

You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.

“St Albans.”

The line went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re back home, since when?”

Another sip of your vodka.

“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”

France was the end of you.

“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”

You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.

“Vodka, feels good le.”

Another deep exhale.

“I’m going to come over.”

Rustling on the other side of the phone.

“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”

You were lying to both yourself and Leah.

“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”

You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.

“I’m not unsafe.”

More rustling on the other side of the line.

“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

You thought about it for a few seconds.

“I’m okay Le.”

The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.

“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”

You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.

“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”

You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.

“Depends on your perspective.”

You heard the sound of car doors.

“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”

Fuck.

“Yes.”

The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.

“What?”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”

It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.

“What kind of blade?”

You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.

“Razor.”

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.

“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”

God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.

“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”

The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.

“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”

The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.

The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.

Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.

You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.

Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.

“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”

You let out a groan in aggreance.

They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.

You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.

It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.

“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”

Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.

She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.

“It’s good to have you back.”

You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.

“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”

Viv brought you into her arms.

“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”

If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.

“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”

You shook your head.

“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”

Viv nodded into you.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Really?”

Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.

“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”

You could feel more tears beginning to form.

“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”

You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.

“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”

You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.

“How did it all end vivi?”

Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.

“We’re going to figure it out.”

——————————————————————

just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo

if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.

if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.

just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.

[b14augrana]

Scrubber

Your first time versing Lyon was the match of your dreams

Barça Femení x teen!reader

pt. 3 masterlist

Warnings: lots of happiness and not proofread as per usual … 😁

A/N: i forgot to mention that mapi's knee is 100% functioning and not crippled in this series!!!! i’ve decided to turn it into a series because i love our hay day obsessed reader so much.

also, reader takes alexia’s place in scoring a golazo because our wonderkid needs her time to shine and what better time to shine than in a uwcl final 🪄🪄 (peep my reference in the fic to the gif im so smart)

we need a nickname for little miss wonderkid so i dont constantly refer to her as reader so plz suggest some in my asks 🥹

You were way too nervous for the final to function. You regretted eating breakfast that morning because it felt like you were about to throw it all up.

Honestly, you were even nervous to look at the players. You stood timidly between Lucy and Irene in the line, secretly hoping you never had to leave the tunnel. You did not want the likes of Ada Hegerberg charging towards little 16-year-old you.

You glanced down at the ‘NV15’ written on your wrist in black. That forever-present question of 'What would Vidić do?' loomed in your mind.

He wouldn’t be worrying about anyone on the opposition. He’d just be worried about breaking the Brexit tackle world record and keeping everyone in white as far away from the goal as possible.

The officials at the end of the tunnel signalled to both teams, which meant it was time. As you emerged out of the tunnel, walking out to the sound of a stadium full of culers, you didn’t feel scared. The cheers from all around the stadium deafened you, but also made you feel an insane amount of pride.

As you stood beside your teammates, the Barcelona anthem blasted on the speakers and the crowd became a choir as they sung the anthem loud and proud. Your attention was in the stands, looking at all the people that had come to watch. You almost teared up when you spotted a little girl and her older brother wearing a jersey with your name on it. Your name. Just having a mascot blew you away, so seeing people you probably weren’t much older than, wearing jerseys with your name on the back, was a crazy concept.

It made you think about the future. It made you hope that one day, you’d grow up to be some little girl’s idol the way Vidić is yours.

“Get ready to shake hands, (Y/N),” Irene reminded you, noticing that you looked a bit spaced out. You brought yourself back to the present and nodded, sticking your hand out to shake the long line of Lyon hands.

When Alexia asked you to bend down and hold the match day pennant, it almost felt like blasphemy. Your mouth was slightly agape as she thrusted it into your hand. “But why me?”

“My knee is no good, it’s better if I stand,” she explained.

“But why m–”

“Just hold it, nena!” Alexia laughed, getting back in the line. You crouched down, holding the pennant in one hand and bracing the ground with the other as you smiled gingerly for the camera.

As soon as the photographer lowered his camera, you sprung to your feet and gave the pennant back to Alexia. “There you go, capi!” you said happily, motioning to Renard who was approaching with their own pennant to exchange. Alexia laughed and patted you on the back, mumbling a quick ‘gracías’ before turning away.

You walked over to the bench and shrugged your jacket off, folding it neatly for one of the team management to take to the locker room later on. With one last meaningful glance at your wrist, you ran onto the field to take your position. Irene was with you in the center and Lucy covered the right while Ona took care of the left. Jona had told you to be prepared for Mapi to come on, so you kept that in mind too.

As soon as the whistle was blown, you were relieved to see that Aitana, Mariona, Caro and Salma had already gotten things under control. That gave you time to scope out the Lyon front three and think about how to handle them.

You thought about what Lucy said. ‘Don’t get hurt trying to do extreme tackles.’

At the end of the day, it all came down to instinct. When Dumornay started running at you with the ball, her feet moving too quick for you to focus on, you knew what you were going to do next had to be purely instinctual. This wasn’t the match for calculated tackles.

It was a fearless tackle. It wasn’t even much of a tackle, actually; you had just gotten to the ground right in her path and made contact with the ball first before she even touched you. When she did touch you, the top of her boot got caught on your abdomen, knocking her over. It was the consequence of her own speed and momentum.

With the ball at your feet, you did what you always did best — kick it as hard as you could and hope it goes well. You must’ve hoped extremely hard or hoped to the right deity, because the ball landed right at Aitana’s feet. Not an inch in front.

With one touch, she had beaten her marker. When Aitana got the ball, it was almost always a goal, and this time was no different; before you could even register that your ball had been kept in play, let alone found a player of your own, it had beaten Endler’s desperate hands and hit the back of the net. The stadium has the loudest atmosphere you’ve ever experienced after Aitana’s goal.

She came running to you, her arms outstretched. You threw yourself into her, hugging her tightly. The rest of the team came shortly after, suffocating you two in a big team hug. You heard some muffled voices praising you and Aitana, but you were too stunned by how quickly it all happened to even register their words. There were many pats on your back and side hugs before the game reset and you were back to your centerback position, kissing the writing on your wrist.

“Aparejo increíble (Y/N), and the pass! Magnífico!” Irene said, pulling you close and ruffling your hair (to which you huffed and slicked it back down) before running back to her position.

You didn’t actually intend to make that pass, so was it that special? Aitana did score from it, but she just has magical feet.

The match had flown by, both teams only separated by one goal at the 90th minute. Lyon were desperate for a goal. Barcelona were desperate for another. Many changes had been made, including Mapi and Pina coming on.

You watched as Diani came down the left wing and somehow managed to beat Lucy and Mapi, which meant you were going to have to try tidy up at the back and not let Diani get to Cata, the last hope.

At first, you just jockeyed. You held her off and tried to delay her, which worked; her stepovers were useless and she couldn’t get past you by tapping and running… but then she did.

She took a touch just wide of you, giving herself heaps of space to dribble up to goal if she was quick enough to retrieve the ball. The big underlying issue was, your jockeying had led you two up to the box. You could either get a card and risk her scoring from a penalty or worse — not do anything and let her put it in. You would rather break your Hay Day login streak than let that happen.

As she lurched forwards to get another touch on the ball, it was like everything was in slow motion. Time slowed down as you extended your leg and thrusted your entire body forwards, cushioning your fall by sliding on your arm across the damp grass and towards the ball. You closed your eyes as she got closer to your face, hoping that if you didn’t see it happen, the collision wouldn’t hurt as much. If this tackle went wrong, it would be over for you, for Barça.

Diani’s opening had been a gift from God himself, so you prepared yourself to see her celebrating happily, the ball rolling into the net when you opened your eyes, but when you finally did open them, the ball wasn’t in the net. Diani wasn’t celebrating.

She was lying on her chest, scrambling to get to her feet. The ball was out, discarded somewhere near the barriers as a ball boy passed a new one to Lucy to throw in. Cheers had rung through the stadium upon your last-ditch tackle, but you had been too distracted to pay attention to them. You had been too focused on trying to execute the perfect tackle that would either make or break the game.

The only thing you guys needed was another goal to really seal the deal. Lyon were getting dangerously close, you needed a goal.

When Lucy had played the ball in, you moved a bit further up the field, watching the play. You noticed Caro receiving the ball, and then you noticed the absence in the middle of the box. You scanned for Aitana or Pina or anybody, but they were all marked by figures like Renard and Carpenter or in other words, brick walls that were not letting them in any time soon.

It was all, pure, instinct. You ran– no, sprinted up the field, flailing your hands in the air. “Caro, Caro!” you screamed, motioning to the middle of the box, begging for a cross.

The cross she delivered from the right wing was set to land just in front of you. You couldn’t reach it for a volley and you sure as hell couldn’t bicycle kick it in. It was travelling fast and getting nearer by the second, but that was the advantage.

Without a second thought, you jumped up. Your body was basically horizontal in the air as you flew forwards, forehead connecting with the ball. It was a shame you couldn’t watch it shoot past Endler, burying itself right in the bottom left corner. You flew into the net as well, and the only way you realised you had scored was when you sat up and looked to your side to see the ball. That’s also the only way you realised you were in the goal.

You had never stood up faster or yelled louder. You zipped past Endler and ran down the field towards the nearest camera. Your first goal of your career couldn’t have been more perfect, so you needed a celebration to match.

Aitana appeared by your side, and as you two ran side-by-side, you pointed to the people in the stands. It was a simple but meaningful celebration; it was the same celebration Vidić had once done, and you remembered it vividly. In fact, it was one of your favourite moments.

You ran to the corner flag where the rest of your team were, and you all fell into another affectionate huddle. Lucy squeezed your side. “You’re in the wrong sport, I think you’d do well as a professional diver!” she jeered, having to yell her words over the noise. You grinned at her and hugged the woman tightly right before being instructed to reset.

The ball had barely started moving again before the referee blew the final whistle. Everyone from the sidelines jumped from their seats and ran onto the field, and the people on the field ram towards your goal. Cata booted the ball into the air and jumped on top of the big hug, and then Pina followed. There was singing and dancing and flags being thrown and tears and hugs for days.

It was happy moment upon happy moment for everyone as it all sunk in — you had finally, finally beat Olympique Lyonnais in a Champions League final for the first time in your history. You had helped beat Lyon and make history with this team, and you had won your first ever Champions League and quadruple, but you had to give credit where it was due.

You knew if you never had a role model like Nemanja Vidić, nothing would’ve happened the way it did for you against Lyon.

Being a 16-year-old girl with such a fiery passion to defend and hold it down at the back wasn’t easy. There wasn’t many defenders that played for the badge the way Vidić did. The reason you loved him so much was because he exerted such an immense sense of pride and dedication to his club, and that was the type of defender you wanted to be.

That was the type of defender you had been today.

You couldn’t believe Keira and Patri when they ran up to you saying that the officials wanted to see you so you could receive the Player of the Match award once again. Your jaw was dropped and you went red as they basically dragged you away from the locker rooms and towards the officials. Your cheeks were still red from embarrassment as you took the photo.

You learned that you couldn’t just slink away into the locker rooms after such a big match, so you spent a solid 10 minutes talking to fans all around the stadium. It was a bit awkward for you at first because most of them were either as old as Alexia or literally your age, but you figured you’d have to get used to it.

The best part about the whole day was, when you eventually got back to the locker room and picked your phone up, you had reached level 300 on Hay Day.

As if one major achievement wasn’t enough.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

This is so privileged and bougie and I don't mean this to sound boastful at all, but my trip this summer was so magical and full of memories and adventures that half the time I forget that I even went to Eras in Lyon while I was there because I just did SO MUCH and everything was a peak experience except for getting sick halfway through but that's apparently my European calling card

Anyway travelling is the best why can't we just do that all the time

[woso-story]

Until Next Time - Part One

Alexia Putellas x Reader - Part Two | Part Three | Last Part

The sun dipped low over the Barcelona skyline, painting the city in hues of gold and orange. You sat on the balcony of the apartment you shared with Alexia, staring out at the view that had become your sanctuary over the past three years. It should have felt like home. But now, it was filled with uncertainty.

Three years ago, when you first arrived in Barcelona, everything had fallen into place effortlessly. You and Alexia had hit it off almost immediately. What began as teammates growing closer evolved into late-night talks, shared meals, and a love that grew stronger with every passing day. A year later, moving in together had felt like the natural next step.

But now, as your contract with Barça came to an end and renewal talks faltered, the future seemed less certain. Offers from some of the biggest clubs in Europe had landed on your table—Lyon, Chelsea, Bayern. And then there was Portland Thorns FC, an NWSL powerhouse offering a chance to not only grow as a player but experience the league you'd dreamed of playing in since you were a child.

The idea thrilled you. Portland meant the West Coast, playing alongside your friend Jessie Fleming, and a whole new chapter. But it also meant leaving Barcelona, your team, and—most heartbreakingly—Alexia.

You turned at the sound of her footsteps, her silhouette framed in the doorway. Alexia’s expression was soft, though her eyes betrayed the storm of emotions she was trying to contain.

“Hey,” she said quietly, walking over to sit beside you.

“Hey,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, the two of you just sat there, the silence heavy but not uncomfortable. You finally broke it, voicing the thoughts that had been haunting you. “Lex, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave you, but… I’ve always wanted to play in the NWSL. I feel like this is my chance.”

Alexia nodded slowly, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “I know,” she said, her voice steady but tinged with sadness. “And I want you to be happy. To chase your dreams. That’s what love is, right? Supporting each other, even if it hurts.”

Tears welled in your eyes at her words. “But what about us?”

She turned to face you, her hands reaching out to cradle your face. “We’ll always have this,” she said firmly. “These years, this love—it doesn’t just disappear. But sometimes… sometimes timing isn’t on our side.”

The decision was made in the days that followed. Portland was where your heart was pulling you, even if it meant leaving a piece of it behind in Barcelona.

The night before your flight, the apartment was filled with a bittersweet energy. Packing had been an emotional process, filled with laughter as you recounted memories of clumsy mornings, quiet nights, and the joy you had shared. There were tears, too—tears that you both tried to wipe away quickly but often failed to hide.

On the morning of your departure, Alexia drove you to the airport. The drive was quiet, the unspoken weight of the goodbye filling the car.

At the gate, she pulled you into a tight embrace. Neither of you wanted to let go. Her forehead rested against yours as she whispered, “You’re going to be amazing. I know it. And I’ll always be proud of you.”

“And you’ll always be in my heart,” you choked out, tears streaming freely now.

Alexia placed a soft kiss on your forehead, her voice barely audible. “Until next time.”

As you walked away, you glanced back one last time to see her standing there, hands in her pockets, watching you leave.

You both knew that this wasn’t the end—not truly. It was a pause, a chapter that would always remain unfinished but cherished. You held onto that hope as you boarded the plane, your heart heavy but filled with love.

The love you shared wasn’t over. It was just waiting—for the right time, the right place, and the right moment to find its way back.

[hard--headed--woman]

I know I spent two days without posting any lesbian pride post lol but I swear I'm gonna post two posts per day in the following days to make up for it. I am again going to talk about an artist, but from a different period this time.

Rosa Bohneur !

(I love her name by the way... Bohneur means happiness in french and that's such a pretty name to have)

Marie-Rosalie Bonheur, known as Rosa Bonheur, was born in 1822 in Bordeaux and died in 1899 in Thomery. She was a French painter and sculptor specialising in representations of animals.

She has kind of an interesting family story (mother adopted by a rich guy who found out later who was her real father, siblings all artists, father who met a lot of interesting people, links with many famous people...) but it would be too long to talk about it and I want to focus on Rosa herself. Do check it up if you're interested!

During her youth, Rosa Bonheur had a reputation for being a tomboy, a reputation that followed her throughout her life and which she made no attempt to deny, wearing her hair short and later smoking cigarettes and cigars. Her emancipated lifestyle never caused a scandal, even though she lived in an era that was very concerned with convention. Like all women of her time, Rosa Bonheur had to apply to the Prefecture of Paris for a cross-dressing permit, renewable every six months, in order to wear trousers, in particular to attend livestock fairs, travel or ride horses.

Here's one of her permits, from 1857 :

And though many historians tried to deny the fact that she was a lesbian, she always refused to marry a man, has only ever had relationships with women and literally wrote that she never felt any sort of love, attraction or tenderness for men, "besides a frank and good friendship for those who had all my esteem". After the death of the woman she loved, she also wrote "If I'd been a man, I'd have married her, and they wouldn't have made up all those silly stories..." You got it : even if she didn't shout it from the rooftops, Rosa was very probaby a homosexual woman.

Rosa Bohneur grew up in a fairly wealthy family, thanks to the financial support of her mother's adoptive father. But when her mother's father died, the family was left without any such support, and fell into dire poverty. When Rosa was 11, her mother died, which deeply traumatised her. She kept a lifelong admiration for her mother.

In 1836, at the age of 14, she met Nathalie Micas, who became her lover. Only Nathalie's death 53 years later separated them.

Her father remarried in 1842 to Marguerite Peyrol, with whom he had a last son, Germain, who would also become a painter. Rosa Bonheur did not get on well with her stepmother and when her father died in 1849, she left the family home to live with the Micas.

After her mother's death, Rosa Bonheur went to primary schools, was apprenticed as a dressmaker and then went to boarding school. Eventually her father took her into his workshop, where her artistic talents were revealed. He was her one and only teacher. Gradually, she developed a passion for animal art, which became her speciality.

She exhibited for the first time, at the age of 19, at the Salon of 1841. She won a 3rd class medal at the Salon of 1845, and a 1st class medal (gold) at the Salon of 1848. This award enabled her, at the age of 26, to obtain a commission from the State to produce an agrarian painting (paid 3,000 francs). The painting resulting from this state commission, "Labourage nivernais" was supposed to go to the Musée des Beaux-Arts in Lyon. But it was so successful at the 1849 Salon that the Beaux-Arts department decided to keep it in Paris, at the Musée du Luxembourg. After Rosa Bonheur's death, the work went to the Louvre, before being transferred to the Musée d'Orsay in 1986.

When her father died in March 1849, Rosa Bonheur replaced him as director of the École impériale gratuite de dessin pour demoiselles (or École gratuite de dessin pour jeunes filles). She remained in this position until 1860: ‘Follow my advice and I'll turn you into Leonardo da Vinci in skirts’, she often told her pupils.

In 1860, she moved to a huge house in By, where she had a huge workshop built, and ample space for her animals. One of her relatives wrote: “She had a complete menagerie in her house: a lion and a lioness, a deer, a wild sheep, a gazelle, horses, etc. One of her pets was a young lion she let run around. My mind was freer when this leonine animal died".

In June 1864, Rosa was visited by Empress Eugenie, who invited her to lunch at the Château de Fontainebleau with her husband. The following year, Eugenie returned to see her, to present her with the Legion d'honneur herself. Rosa is the ninth woman and the first artist to receive this distinction. About this, The Empress said :

“At last, you've been knighted. I am delighted to be the godmother of the first woman artist to receive this high distinction. I wanted the last act of my regency to be devoted to showing that, in my eyes, genius has no sex."

She was also the first woman to be made an officer in this order, in April 1894 (first female officer of the Legion d'honneur).

Rosa traveled extensively with her lover Nathalie, herself a painter and mechanical enthusiast (she invented and patented a railway braking system), and painted many pictures inspired by her travels.

In 1889, Nathalie died after some 50 years together. It was then that Rosa expressed her regret at not having been able to marry her.

After Nathalie's death, Rosa met Anna Klumpe, a talented American painter. The two women moved in together some time later.

Rosa Bohneur died of pulmonary congestion in 1899, without having completed her last painting, “La foulaison du blé en Camargue”, a monumental canvas she had planned to exhibit at the 1900 Universal Exhibition.

She is buried in Père Lachaise cemetery, alongside Nathalie, her parents and Anna (who died years after her). She left her entire fortune to Anna, who, in 1908, published a biography of Rosa Bonheur and created a Rosa-Bonheur prize at the Société des artistes français. The Société des Artistes français posthumously awarded her the Medal of Honor shortly after her death.

Rosa could have had military honors at her funeral, but she specified in her will that she did not wish this.

There's a lot of interesting things to say about Rosa, her art and her history, so I suggest you do some research on her! She was a very talented and strong-willed woman who had a huge impact on French art and left a considerable cultural legacy.

Here are some of her paintings :

I personally love them ! I am not a painting expert, I just find them sooo pretty.

See you tomorrow :)

[holyblonded]

estrella's interactions with her USWNT teammates?? in particular alex morgan before she retired, the triple espresso, tierna (since tierna is the only out queer woman besides her), and horan.

(in fact, I can imagine estrella and horan having a 'tough love' friendship since horan plays for lyon)

— yes i love estrella and the uswnt! i think i got a bit carried away and off topic i love the way you wrote the request. it’s extremely satisfying to me

— alex morgan is like the cool older sister estrella never asked for but definitely needed. at first, alex wasn’t sure what to make of estrella’s… estrella-ness, but after seeing her play and realizing she was, in fact, a menace both on and off the field, she just accepted it. estrella, in return, loves to test alex’s patience.

— “alex, when are you gonna let me babysit charlie?”

— “never.”

— “but why?”

— “because you’re you.”

— “okay, but hear me out—”

— “no.”

— estrella adores charlie, though, and anytime alex brings her to camp, she and estrella are practically glued together. charlie calls her “es,” and estrella melts every time.

— estrella fits into the triple espresso dynamic a little too well. she’s like the unofficial fourth member, always hyping them up while also being a complete menace.

— “look at my three favorite goal-scoring machines,” estrella grins, throwing her arms around trinity and sophia. “how does it feel to be the second, third, and fourth best talents on the team?”

— mallory deadpans, “who’s first?”

— “me, obviously.”

— trinity tries to fight estrella at least once per camp. not in a serious way, just in a “you are getting on my last nerve” sister type way. estrella always dodges and takes off running.

— “you talk too much,” trinity huffs after estrella has been chirping all practice.

— “you love it,” estrella grins.

— “i actually don’t.”

— mallory is the one who tries to keep them all in check, but even she has her limits. one time, she caught estrella and trinity trying to prank sophia by putting hot sauce in her recovery drink.

— “i’m leaving,” mallory announced.

— “mal, come on, don’t you want to see what happens?” estrella pleaded.

— “no. because when soph hunts you both down, i refuse to be collateral damage.”

— estrella and sophia have a weirdly wholesome relationship. sophia is one of the few who doesn’t take estrella’s bait, which only makes estrella try harder.

— “soph, rate my skills from 1 to 10.”

— “7.”

— “wow. okay. brutal.”

— “you asked.”

— estrella is always hyping them up in training and games, especially trinity, because she loves the chaos.

— “GET HER, TRIN!” estrella yells from the sidelines.

— “i am, shut up!”

— when they’re all on the field together, it’s pure destruction. the four of them pressing high, causing havoc, and running at defenses is every defender’s worst nightmare.

— “we are actually terrifying,” estrella says proudly after a 4-0 win.

— “unstoppable,” sophia nods.

— “lethal,” trinity smirks.

— mallory sighs. “a problem.”

— estrella just grins. “the best kind.”

— tierna is probably the only one who truly understands estrella on a deeper level. being two of the few openly queer players on the team, there’s an unspoken understanding between them. estrella actually lets her guard down around tierna, even if she won’t admit it.

— “how’s soleil?”

— “fine,” estrella shrugs.

— “you’re smiling.”

— “no, i’m not.”

— “you literally are.”

— “shut up.”

— tierna is one of the few people who can actually get estrella to sit down and be serious when she needs to. she’s also one of the only people estrella listens to when she gets too hot-headed on the pitch.

— “breathe,” tierna reminds her after a particularly frustrating game. estrella huffs but nods.

— “you’re right.”

— “i always am.”

— estrella groans. “you just had to ruin the moment, didn’t you?”

— lindsey horan and estrella are the definition of a tough love friendship. lindsey does not take estrella’s nonsense, and estrella loves testing lindsey’s patience.

— “why are you looking at me like that?” estrella asks one day.

— “like what?”

— “like you want to strangle me.”

— “because i do.”

— estrella grins. “aw, you love me.”

— “i really don’t.”

— lindsey is one of the few who can actually put estrella in her place. when estrella’s ego gets a little too big, lindsey is right there to humble her.

— “you’re not that special.”

— “yes, i am,” estrella says without hesitation.

— “you play in spain. come to lyon, and we’ll see.”

— “never.”

— estrella would never admit it, but she actually looks up to lindsey a lot. when things get tough, lindsey is one of the first people she goes to for advice, even if she pretends she’s too cool for it.

— at the end of the day, estrella’s dynamic with the USWNT is equal parts chaos and genuine admiration. she pushes buttons, causes trouble, and makes everyone laugh, but when it’s time to show up, she gives everything for the crest. and no matter how much they pretend to be annoyed, her teammates wouldn’t have it any other way.

[deesseshesca]

PAC: What would your broken heart feel about your nuptial union ? (18+)

PILE 2 

Star (reverse), High priestess (reverse), 2 cups, 2 wands (reverse) 

SONG 1 : A Sunday Kind Of Love - Etta James

You are an over-sharer and u dont care. You often say the most out of pocket things and walk away like the queen you are. Because you may be disrespectful but u aint wrong. You give me the vibe of Luna Lovegood with the mouth of Cookie Lyon or Pat LuPon. You have a sense of humor, sex-appeal and feminine expression similar to Helena Bonham. Ok Pile 2, I am obsessed with you … Plz say u want to be my friend. It said we are friends, yes you have no choice. I swear I am cool too, maybe not as much as you but I am still a STAR (Mia Goth scream way). 

First letter is written by your present self. Y’all may live alone. You may have  black cat or thought of adopting one from the shelter. You are always down for a late night snack. You were raised by a naked mom (twin … told u we have a lot in common) that's why u walk around your house naked. For the one that doesn't apply to their 3D reality, just know that your manifestations are working. You are on the right path to achieve that kind of freedom. 

Second letter is an update from your future self. 

You drop everything. Close your phone or your TV. Give it a big sight and take some paper and a pen. Other of you, is in your journal. Your done being confused or acting confused. Waiting for the right one to appear, you are taking matters on your own and writing about him (without knowing your are manifesting and using a powerful energy : frustration. Also you may do under a powerful moon (ex : full moon) without knowing) 

Ok … So I want him to look so deep in my eyes that it seems like his having a discussion with my soul. I  don't care that I can't handle eye contact (some of y’all wear glasses), I just want a cute moment. Is that too much to ask ? No it is not ! AND I WANT IT. I also want someone that can't keep his hand away from me. I want someone who's going to drag me towards him softly while I speak to my friend just cause he needs to feel me. I want someone that would hug me to sleep while he plays video games with his friend but he would not just stop there. He would not scream and his friend would yell at him in his headphones but he would chuckle that he’s the only one with a gf for a reason. He would never be ashamed of being pussy whipped and a total simp boy for a fucking weird girl like me. He will not fetishize my weirdness or quirks, he would actually embrace it. He will found joy bringing me to the spiritual shop so I can buy all my crystal and herbs, he would love to plan a trip to Salem so we can dive deeper into the witchcraft scene or maybe love to go to New Orleans so I can bask in the magical air and learn the beauty of a closed practice (u will not practice it but u love learning). He would love to see me put cinnamon  a front of all our doors, fuck why not add this since HIS MY PERFECT MEN …he would love to live in an old house with some antique decor. I also need him to be tall , this tall queen needs to feel like a little spoon 2. Back off my man, short princess, mama got this. I WANT HIM CLINGY. I want him to be unable to sleep without me. I want him to be a homebody but like the clean kind, not the incel way ( ME: EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER. Girl u seem to talk from a specific experience). I want him to love holding on to my purse, tying my shoes and throwing in some kind of braiding hair skills. I want him to enjoy a road trip because if there's one thing my family is going to do, is go on a trip. I want him to love my family and accept the fact that I am a crybaby. Yes… the stereotype is real, I am the last (or only ) daughter of the family so is my way or the highway. I want him to be able to chase after me when the zoomies catch me when  I am drunk. Did I mention that I want him tie to my hip ? I want him to stop his car whenever he sees me in  the neighborhood just so he can get out and hug me. Universe frl don't play with me … he better not be some long distance bullshit. You know I can't handle it ! 

Yes! Angel number : 999 must be meant to be. 

PS: I just want to throw this here … I mean may as well. I want us to have some light hearted  love making. I want to be comfortable being naked under the cover. I want us to build healthy sexual tension. I also want him to seduce me into having sex, no pressure. I want him to touch me like I am a delicate porcelain doll and look at me with so much love and adoration. I want him to see the value in my naked body … I just want to feel like I am worth more than just a sex doll. 

555

(Your signature) 

Update (In your manifestation journal. You will have one in the future. Also I am channeling a time where u are more organized in your spirituality and more confident than a baby witch) 

SONG : CRUSH - AJ Tracey ft Jorja Smith 

Before I start, you are coming to a realization. Don't worry, it's not a bad one. You just did something u never thought u would do. Actually when u went to meet up with him u did not even think, y’all would do that. You guys fucked in the forest. Some of y’all have a lake in your neighberhood which is your secret spot and u fucked in parking lot around.  Depending on how u park it can be in front of the forest. You were literally coochie out moaning  with the birds. BYEEE … Chérie D’Amour I did not know y’all were down like that. Some of y’all reading are surprise but intrigue, yeah this person is going to bring out the nasty gyal out of you. 

3 pentacles (reverse), king cups, 6 wands (reverse), magician (reverse) 

Home sweet home… I'm back. 

(You take a deep breath. Nod your head and stand up  and caress your bed (lol) then  decide is best to just take a shower. The flashbacks are attacking you in the shower. You may get horny in the shower to the point of wanting to touch yourself but I heard u speak out loud : (Your name) stop being so perv, ( chuckle ) … fuck I forgot how good and hot he was). Dinner with the fam and watching a movie with your sibling back in your bedroom.) 

Ok not only did he crack my shit he also clocked my tea (you are talking to one of your deities). I thought I was the healer in the relationship and maybe I let my ego get bigger than it needed to be just because I did some shadow work. Honestly I hate to say it but I think I stereotyped him … I was so sure he was emotionally unavailable … the whole time I was the guard up one. I remember when he first approached me it was in such an awkward setting (an embarrassing thing that can happen to you on the mundane: Toilet paper on your shoes, blood spotting in your bottoms, maybe your drink spilled all over you.) and he offered to help me. You know me … I don’t have shame because life is life. Nobody is going to remember me in 5 years if I fell on my ass or throw up in the bush after the club and even if they do … fuck them, we ball. He offered his help with a charming smile, Goddess does he smell good. Thank you so much for the tall setting on him … I was starting to lose hope. Offering me paper and running a hand on my back while I threw up in the bush while my other friend is stopping my homegirl from sending her nudes to her boss. (Chuckle) How did he survive such an overstimulating experience ? A crazy girl yelling her sexual fantasy about a man twice her age, while another trying to take the phone away from her and me completely sick on knees vomiting my life away. Yet he was cracking jokes and comforting me. I still remember : ‘’ No you fine baby … No you don't smell, I swear all I can smell is roses. What was that princess ? Can you repeat ? Yes… Thank you baby … I also think you are smoking hot. I would love to talk but let's make sure you are fine first …’’ ( You heart skip a beat, You take a break from writing to enjoy the butterfly in your stomach). His voice adhfbhfnekihgejkng, fuck and dont get me started when his dirty talking me or moaning on top of me. Still can't believe he took my number and called me first in the morning making sure I am fine. Over the months we got closer, no pressure since he already saw me at my worst. We both realize that harboring love was more complicated than we thought but we want each other so bad. My hyper independence had the best of us because I made him think that he was useless. The way I treated him made him feel like I was using him just for entertainment. I made him insecure regarding his intentions, his real feelings and actions because I am not going to lie when he opens up about his past … I started projecting all the men  that hurted me and just distance myself. On his side his separation anxiety is quite overbearing. Always having to text him, calling him and showing him a picture of where I was. Before we knew it, loving each other became a task. A tarot reading later, he texts me randomly and asks me for a second chance. What ? What was I supposed to do ? He invited me to his house and cooked for me. Than gave me a foot massage while we watched one of my trashy TV shows. One thing lead to the other, the flirtatious comment, the sneaky touch, the meal, the clean house, him without a tee-shirt, me in my cute 2 piece, the glasses of wine and before I knew it we were confessing once again our love promising each other to do the wok require to make it work. Honestly I have so much faith in us. He’s the only one that actually sees me. Lol he even gave me a box of beautiful crystals … you would have folded 2, if it were u. 

(The bell of your house goes off. Somebody calls your name downstair, a flower bouquet is waiting for you. You never finish the letter.)

You are going to marry this person but unlike the other girly pop a key moment of y’all relationship came through instead of marriage. Which I didn't even ask for marriage to come through just for your future spouse to do. So it's actually a coincidence that the 2 other piles came through with their wedding specifically. 

[princeoftheeternalbog]

Heavily craving fairytail content atm :/ hoping there's still some people who will enjoy these.

Also im going to say that for my x reader writing, none of the canonical feelings or pairings will be represented. I don't agree with infidelity and I won't write it. I also just really don't like the idea of writing unrequited love using my fav characters😞

I need to stop writing so many personal notes in my work but some characters just make me feel so feral that i need a breather ANYWAY

How fairytail characters flirt with you and how they react to being flirted with.

Natsu

When he flirts hes very forward and honest. He's not exactly trying to flirt but his compliments and his actions are all so very earnest. Does all sorts of crazy things just to make you happy and it makes your heart flutter. Will confidently state his interest in you if asked- "Uh yeah? Did I not make that obvious?"

If you're flirting then he can get flustered quite quickly. It's a bit surprising considering his personality but everything about you makes his head spin already, you flirting just makes him feel 10x worse. Reacts especially strongly to subtle flirting, innuedos and stuff, it has him flushing crimson as his brain tries to figure out whether you meant it like that-

Gray

His flirting is smooth and very teasing. Likes that sort of bitey flirting/play fighting, especially loves winning because then he gets to see your pretty flustered demeanour. Backs off quickly though because he doesn't want to make you upset or uncomfortable :(. He loves throwing in slick little comments when nobody is listening and watching your mouth drop in surprise.

You can't keep up with his teasing to be honest, but his weakpoint is sincerity. If you say something sweet and genuine directly to his face then you'll get to see him stutter as his cheeks go a splotchy pink. Interestingly, his blush travels down his chest too.

Loke/Leo

...do i even need to write here?

Smooth, confident, never gives you a reprieve from his sweet words. He's not pushy of course, but if he can tell that you like him then you're done for, he just won't let up. He simply refuses to have wasted time when he likes you so much and if you won't admit it then he's going to try and coax it out of you.

If you try to flirt back it makes him worse I'm sorry. Literally the second the sentence is out of your mouth he's in your space, "Oh? How cute. You even managed to make my heart skip a beat" as he places your hand directly on his chest. He has no shame so if you're going to flirt, do it in private.

Lyon

Calculated flirting. He tries different approaches and notices what ones you react to best and combines them so he can use it against you. But he's always touching you, no matter what he's saying or how he's saying it. A hand on the small of your back when walking, thigh to thigh when you sit next to each other, he's just constantly touching you.

He's obsessed when you flirt back. Makes him blush but also makes him feel really confident, the tips of his ears will be practically glowing but he's replying with the most out of pocket shit you've ever heard.