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too-much-tma-stuff · 3 months ago

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Beach Episode (Part 19)

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Danny and Jason talked out their issues and dealt with it. Jason didn’t think he’d fuck up again, he’d felt so fucking bad, but Danny didn’t trust that. Which was fair, even if it hurt, he was going to have to prove that he meant it and could hold to it even when he was angry. He needed to get into therapy too, he’d been putting it off because he was scared, and protective of his identity, so much of the shit he’d seen and done was so hard to explain in a civilian situation.

But now that he was on slightly better terms with the JL he could prevail himself of one of their therapists. That ended up being the favour that Danny demanded from them was providing Jason with a therapist, one that wouldn’t be too judgmental of his… ‘methods’. They asked for Wonder Woman’s advice on that, which she was very happy to provide, relieved that Jason was facing up to his bad behaviour and taking steps to make it right. She’d been worried she was going to have to physically knock some sense into him.

The other favour that Danny asked for, not of the JL but from Jason, was not to complain about the family vacation that was being planned between Dick, Tim, Danny, and Alfred. Jason still didn’t love the idea but Danny gave him puppy dog eyes and insisted that it was needed to make him forgive Jason for his slip up. Necessary to make things right with his family and moving on, so he accepted it.

It took a lot of arranging and planning to get the family on vacation. They had to find a time everyone was available, find people they trusted to cover their patrols or cities, and of course agree on a destination. That was harder than you would expect, especially when Bruce got involved and tried to insist it should be in the deep woods somewhere and be a training exercise more than anything.

In the end he was shouted down and it was decided that they were going to go to a beach somewhere warm and sunny. Far enough away from any of their usual haunts that they wouldn’t feel the urge to work as long as there weren’t any natural disasters and Tim was kept off his ipad. Since it was a family vacation Danny invited Ellie and Dan too, though he wasn’t sure that Dan would come. Half of him hoped he wouldn’t because having Dan there was bound to be complicated, but they had decided to be family so Danny was going to put his money where his mouth was.

Dan had been doing well anyway, he hadn’t missed any check ins and hadn’t caused any chaos in space. So he at least deserved an invite, whether he wanted to come or not. They had a check in two weeks before the trip so Danny brought it up with him then.

“A family vacation huh?” Dan asked, they were ‘sitting’ on a broken satellite which was still orbiting earth through inertia.

“Ya, God knows the Wayne's need it. And honestly so do I. Ellie will be coming too, and you're welcome too if you want to,” Danny said with a little shrug.

“And draw more attention from the GIW onto both of you?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Ya, but they already know Phantom is back and working with the Justice League now. I really don't think they're brave enough to touch us now. And if they try to, with all three of us together with the bats? Frankly I'd like to see them try. Maybe it would give the Justice League the push they need to really give them the smack down.”

Dan snorted a little at Danny, he still didn't expect that ferocity from his younger self. “Ya I guess so,” he agreed with a crooked little smile.

“But if that was an excuse and you just don't want to come, that's fine. I don't want to push you, I just don't want you to feel left out since we decided we're family now,” Danny explained.

“Nah, I want to come. I want to meet my future brother in law,” Dan said with an absolutely feral smile.

“Oh dear,” Danny said faintly. “That doesn't sound good. Is it too late to uninvite you?”

“Oh absolutely,” Dan cackled wickedly. “If you're going to be my little brother I should get to vet your boyfriend,” he teased, reaching over to ruffle Danny's hair and laughing when Danny smacked his hand away.

“Fine, you'll be a better judge than some people since I'm assuming we have the same opinions about violence?” He asked, glancing at Dan.

“I think I'm probably even more down for it then you are, but ya. Why?”

“Batman tried to stage an intervention about Jason hitting me. Trying to explain to them that I was totally fine with it and kinda liked it suuucked,” Danny groaned, flopping back dramatically as Dan laughed at him.

“Poor you,” Dan said, entirely unsympathetic. Danny flipped him off. “I'll probably give him shit about it.”

“Just don't scare him off. I really like this guy. If you pull anything I swear I'll spend the rest of our eternity making sure you never get a date!”

“Sheesh, that's a serious threat kid! As long as he's not a wimp I won't scare him off. If I do scare him off he wasn’t a good fit for you in the first place,” Dan pointed out reasonably.

“Fine, I'll be keeping an eye on you though,” Danny warned.

“Of course you will, I'd expect nothing less after everything I've done,” Dan agreed dryly. “I'm surprised you're letting me be around your new found family at all.”

“Ya, well, you're one of my new found family as well.”

“Shit.”

“If you didn't want to be part of my found family you should have killed me when you had the chance!”

“IS THAT A FUCKING MEME?!”

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All the Wayne’s could have asked their respective flying friends to give them a lift to the resort, but it had been decided no kryptonians were invited. They were trying to keep things to their family, though Dick was bringing Kori, that was fine they had been together off and on for years and were well settled together this time. She might as well be an in-law already. So she would be flying Dick in from Bludhaven, and everyone else was going to fly out from Gotham in the Waynes’ private jet. Well, the Waynes and Babs and Steph, who had taken a little more convincing to come, getting past their insistence they weren’t actually family being the trick. Thankfully the fact that the phantom siblings were coming too helped them see it wasn’t only a trip for the Waynes, and with different heroes and allies found to cover protecting Gotham they were bundled onto the private jet as well.

Which Danny and Ellie teased Bruce and Tim relentlessly about owning, Jason snickering in the background and egging on the two ghostly siblings in their teasing. They deserved it, no matter how much Bruce tried to defend that it was expected of him to have a private jet and he needed it for business!

Teasing didn’t stop them from enjoying it though, Ellie chasing Tim around the isles, with Alfred chiding but not actually trying to stop them from having their fun and being kids for once. Danny spent half the time exploring and stealing any snacks he found, and half the time murmuring in Jason’s ear about how they should steal the jet to join the mile high club. It was sweet torture and Jason did not want it to stop even as he shifted awkwardly and tried desperately to think unsexy thoughts so he wouldn’t get a boner surrounded by his family! Thank fuck Dick wasn’t here, the knowing smirks he’d be shooting the two of them would be too much.

It was a 16 hour flight, and once Ellie and Tim tired themselves out and fell asleep Bruce pulled out a sleep mask and settled in. Danny gave them this, it was much more comfortable to sleep in, and Jason and Danny slept soundly, at least until Ellie got bored and pounced on Danny. They phased out through the wall of the plane to go for a fly, racing the jet and flying loops around it until Ellie got tired and Danny had to help her back into the jet when she started to fall behind.

Everyone else had started to wake up while they were gone, so by the time they got back it was just in time to have a family breakfast, and talk about what they were going to do once they landed. They had booked the entire top floor of the resort for privacy, which Danny thought was kind of overkill, but these were The Bats, they were incredibly security minded people, so he didn’t argue about it. Danny was mostly excited about swimming, this was a beach vacation after all!

Finally they landed, and grabbed as much of their stuff as they could from the plane before the bellhops could get them, as if all the staff hadn’t already been vetted by Babs. They were only staying for a week so they didn’t have so much they couldn’t reasonably carry it, and Danny suspected at least Tim had some stuff in his bags he would not want anyone else to see. He was going to keep an eye on the younger man to make sure that he hadn’t smuggled any work with him on vacation.

They piled out of the plane, chattering excitedly about the vacation, Dick coming onto the plane to help Babs on the slightly too steep ramp from the plane. Kori was waiting for them on the tarmac with a warm smile, taking a couple of the heavier bag.

“We already picked out her room on the left side. I suspect Jason and Danny will want to be on the right, and the… single, and younger members of the family should be in the middle so we all have some place,” Kori suggested.

“Kori!” Dick chided, though he clearly wasn’t actually shocked. Actually those who’d known the two of them for a while knew that was far more delicately put then she might have said it a couple years ago.

“What?” She said, blinking her bright green eyes innocently at Dick. “This is a romantic destination, and we love each other, we are only doing what is surely expected of a loving romantic union. I doubt your father wants to hear-”

“YES thank you Kori you’re right. We’ll make sure you and Dick, and Jason and Danny have your privacy,” Bruce promised.

Before the conversation could continue Ellie shrieked and dropped her bags, taking off running away from the group. It startled everyone, but hackles smoothed immediately when they spotted Dan, strolling across the lot to meet her at a more casual pace. He rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face as he bent down to scoop Ellie up before she could headbutt him in the gut at full sprint. He was wearing regular clothes, a black shirt and pants with white stripes down the side, and his fiery hair had been gathered into a low ponytail. He still looked obviously inhuman with his grey-green skin and red eyes, but there were all sorts of meta-humans around and he didn’t look like a supervillain at least.

Ellie scrambled from in his arms to onto his shoulders as he grumbled at her without any real heat behind it. He shrugged his shoulders, making her squeak and hold on tight as he strolled over to the rest of the group.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Danny said, approaching Dan and patting his arm.

“Hey I told you I would,” Dan said ruffling Danny’s hair and ignoring the way the humans around them shifted nervously. Danny was either ignoring it as well or hadn’t noticed the nerves.

“I don’t believe we’ve met!” Kori said cheerfully, holding out her hand to shake.

“Hey, I’m Dan. I’m these two’s big brother, by technicality,” Dan joked, gesturing to Danny and Ellie with his free hand, shaking her hand and squeezing too hard. He looked impressed when her smile only brightened and she squeezed back just as hard. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Kori, I’m Dick’s partner,” She said brightly. “You seem strong, we should spar some time soon.”

“I’d like that,” Dan agreed with a shark's grin. Grunting and dropping the smile when Danny elbowed him in the side.

“Behave,” Danny grumbled at him, getting a growl and an eye roll in return, before his gaze landed on Jason.

“And you must be Danny’s boyfriend huh?” He asked, letting go of Kori’s hand and offering it to Jason.

“Ya, I am. It’s nice to meet you. He warned me about you,” Jason said, standing up straight and shaking Dan’s hand firmly, trying not to wince when he squeezed it far too tightly.

“I’m sure he did. I warned me about messing with you too,” Dan cackled, letting go of Jason’s hand before it could crack and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Right, well now that everyone’s met each other let’s head inside hm?” Bruce interrupted trying to shoo them all towards the door. They were starting to attract attention standing out in the open like this. “We should pick out our rooms and get comfortable.”

“Ellie, how do you feel about sharing a room with Dan?” Danny asked, glancing up at his young clone, still perched on Dan’s broad shoulders.

“I don’t need a babysitter!” Both Dan, and Ellie said at the same time before looking at each other, startled as Danny laughed.

“You’d both be absolutely terrible babysitters,” He said fondly. He expected them to get into a good deal of chaos together, but he did think that Ellie would keep Dan from killing anyone, or get Danny if things got completely out of control.

“Fine, we’ll share,” Dan sighed, and Ellie nodded.

“Thanks guys,” Danny said, smiling at his siblings before grabbing Jason’s hand and tugging him towards the door. “Come on, let’s go find the most extravagant room we can!”

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There was a bit of a scramble for rooms, not that there weren’t plenty of rooms, but Step, Dick, and Tim were petty and silly and argued over the ‘best’ rooms. And of course once they started Ellie had to get in on the action. Danny and Jason left the younger ones (and Dick) to their squabbling and went to pick out their own room as far away from the rest as they could manage. They found a lovely one with an airy, beachy theme and a window seat looking out onto the ocean.

“It’s beautiful here,” Danny said, sitting down on the padded bench in front of the window and making grabby hands at Jason.

“Is it,” Jason chuckled, going to sit with Danny, who practically dived into Jason’s arms. “I wouldn’t want to live in a place like this, but it is very nice to visit.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, you're a Gothemite and a bat! If it’s not a little close, dark, or gloomy you stand out like a sore thumb,” Danny teased, nuzzling against the underside of Jason’s jaw, who laughed along. “I like our home and our nest though, it’s cozy,” Danny added before Jason could get insecure about it.

“Me too, do you want to unpack first or go exploring?” Jason asked softly.

“As much as I want to go exploring, I think we had better unpack before anyone tries to kick us out of our room by throwing out our bags,” Danny said with a put upon sigh, going nearly boneless against Jason’s chest.

“You know you’re going to have to get up for us to unpack, right?”

“Noooo!”

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The resort really was beautiful, and since they’d rented an entire floor it wasn’t as crowded as they were sure it usually was. Danny had never been to a place like this and he intended to make the most of it, all of it! The beach, the spa, and the incredibly fucking fancy restaurant and bar where he and Jason could actually drink since the Maldieves actually had a reasonable drinking age!

Over the course of the week they got couples messages, got so drunk they had to lean on each other to get back to their room, and ordered far too much room service. But undoubtedly the beach was absolutely the main attraction. They spent a lot of time there, to the point Danny got a tan, and Jason was very glad he didn’t burn like Bruce did, who spent most of the second day laying on his stomach in bed with Alfred scolding him about not refreshing his sunscreen after swimming. On the second day Danny remembered he didn’t strictly have to breathe! And Jason spent the rest of the day sitting on the beach while Danny (and Ellie or Dan in turns) disappeared into the water for hours and came back to tell him about everything they saw.

On the third day Jason rented some scuba equipment so he could go down with his boyfriend and see all the wonders he’d been so excited about. At least the ones in shallower waters, he couldn’t follow Danny deeper where the pressure got too much, when Danny realized that he stuck to the shallower areas. By the time they got back to shore Jason was exhausted and very ready for supper, which was a family affair every night of the trip. It was really nice, since Alfred didn’t have to cook he could actually join them and he kept it from being too rowdy.

They had to push tables together to accommodate the whole family, but the Waynes had more than enough money to get away with it and establish an extra long table for themselves for the entire week of their stay. They tended to eat late, which worked too because there were fewer people for them to disturb with their chatter and chaos, and the eleven of them were usually more than enough for the kitchen to contend with since most of them were big eaters. The dinners were really nice, it didn’t have the baggage of being at the manor, and though they’d met up in smaller groups all of them (minus Kate who had opted out) had never been in the same place.

It was the perfect opportunity for… something, something that Dick unfortunately beat Jason too on the third night, during dessert when he got up from the table, and got down on one knee in front of Kori. Silence fell over the entire restaurant as Jason bit back a groan and quickly readjusted his expectations to be happy for his brother.

“Koriand'r, you and I have been together for a long time, and we’ve been through a lot of shit. But never have I not been happy you were there with me for it. You’ve made all of it easier by letting me be by your side, and I hope you’ll let me stick by you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Kori yelped, holding out her hand and letting him put the ring on her finger before she grabbed his wrist and his collar and hauled him in for a passionate kiss as the family cheered and everyone around clapped politely. “You’ll have to come with me to pick out a ring for you as well My Love,” Kori told him warmly while Dick grinned like an idiot.

“Congratulations!” Steph cheered, practically leaping over the table to tackle both of them as Bruce ordered a few bottles of the best champagne the resort could offer and everyone else lined up to congratulate them as well. Besides Dan, who was being ignored as he grumbled in the corner about how ostentatious and cliche the whole thing was.

Hey, maybe if Danny secretly shared some of those thoughts Jason had dodged a bullet not being able to propose on this trip. He’d come up with a new plan, one Danny might even like better.

#Just a fun casual chapter between threats #I didn't feel like editing it so posting it here before AO3 #Let me know if you find any errors #Hyena!Danny AU #danny phantom #jason todd #dead on main #dc x dp #my writing #bruce wayne #dan phantom #dani phantom #koriand'r #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #multi part fic

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poohsources · 1 year ago

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🐝 * ― 𝑨𝑽𝑨𝑻𝑨𝑹: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑩𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛ i'm angry at myself! ❜ ❛ it's easy to do nothing, it's hard to forgive. ❜ ❛ you miscalculated. i love them more than i fear you. ❜ ❛ there is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you. ❜ ❛ but now you're not letting yourself feel anything. i know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. but you have to promise me that you won't stop caring. ❜ ❛ my own mother thought i was a monster ... she was right of course, but it still hurt. ❜ ❛ in the darkness, hope is something you give yourself. ❜ ❛ never forget who you are, for surely the world won't. ❜ ❛ why am i so bad at being good? ❜ ❛ it is important to draw wisdom from different places. if you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. ❜ ❛ sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else. ❜ ❛ and now you have come to the crossroads of destiny. it's time for you to choose. ❜ ❛ you may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place. ❜ ❛ protection and power are overrated. i think you are very wise to choose happiness and love. ❜ ❛ get over here, [ name ]. being part of the group also means being part of group hugs. ❜ ❛ stop! stop it right now! what's wrong with you? we don't have time for fun and games with the war going on. ❜ ❛ i'm too young to die! ❜ ❛ in my country, we exchange a pleasant 'hello' before asking questions. ❜ ❛ i didn't know what or when, but i knew i'd know it when i knew it! ❜ ❛ the past can be a great teacher. ❜ ❛ when we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change. ❜ ❛ there really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place. ❜ ❛ failure is only the opportunity to try again, only more wisely this time. ❜ ❛ i wanted to take out all of my anger on them. but i couldn't. i don't know if it's because i'm too weak ... or if it's because i'm strong enough not to. ❜ ❛ look [ name ], you're going to fail a lot before things work out. even though you will fail over and over again, you have to try every time. you can't quit because you're afraid you might fail. ❜ ❛ while it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing. ❜ ❛ you must never give in to despair. allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts. ❜ ❛ if we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends too? ❜ ❛ you know, [ name ], i don't care what anyone else says about you. you're pretty smart. ❜ ❛ if i try, i fail. if i don't try, i'm never going to get it. ❜ ❛ let your anger out, and then let it go. forgive him. ❜ ❛ pride is not the opposite of shame, but rather its source. true humility is the only antidote to shame. ❜ ❛ life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. ❜ ❛ the greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. ❜ ❛ you stand alone. that has always been your greatest weakness. ❜ ❛ bad skin? normal teenagers worry about bad skin, i don't have that luxury. ❜ ❛ in my dream, we were right in the middle of the invasion, and you stopped to use the bathroom. we die because of your tiny bladder. ❜ ❛ you need to find someone who waits and listens before striking. ❜ ❛ everyone has to be treated like they're worth giving a chance. ❜ ❛ i don't need luck, though. i don't want it. i've always had to struggle and fight, and that's made me strong. it's made me who i am. ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #tv starters #tv sentence starters #rph #type: meme

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furiousgoldfish · 3 months ago

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Growing up with abusive parents, there was a lot of religious grooming going on, a big emphasis was put on being 'a good person', and I was told often about how god is watching me and judging my every move, and of course, he always agreed with my parents judgment, conveniently for them.

Being a good person meant a lot to me, so I did try very hard to be kind and do good deeds, only when I did this, my parents were very much not satisfied. Instead they would find reasons why my good deeds were, not actually good. I'd get told that I only did things to look good in front of others, or to get the attention, or to get something out of it. This hit me hard at the time, my character was already attacked on all fronts, and now I had to second-guess my every move to judge weather me doing good deeds was only attention-seeking, manipulative and selfish behaviour.

This in turn taught me that I should never expect anything back, never seek any attention, never consider how it makes me look or feel to do good things for others, and, this was still not enough. I was still being told that I did everything so lousy, that it would have been better if I hadn't done anything at all. My thoughtfulness, my attempts at being helpful, obedient, grateful, convenient, generous, supportive and kind, it was always degraded or explained away as 'the least I could do'.

I struggled with analyzing my own actions and the motivations I had for them, and worried that I might be a horrible, self-serving, selfish person. At this point I was already doing everything anyone asked of me, while being polite and mild-mannered about it, and I didn't complain about being overworked, neglected, exhausted, lonely, and tormented by the abuse. I was so focused on scrutinizing my own actions, whether I could have done anything better, whether I was doing it all for wrong reasons, that I couldn't see a simple truth behind this charade: people who were constantly telling me off for not being a good enough person, have never even tried to be good themselves.

My parents, so quick to berate me for not having the right 'motivations' for my kindness, were not bothering to be kind at all. The amount of good deeds they've done for nothing in return is zero. They always had ulterior motives, they only did things to look good, they held others in obligation for every gift, every gesture, every word given to them. They upheld every little 'good deed' they did as a proof that they can do no wrong, used it to get leverage, to get trust and illusion of goodness. They only did good things when convenient and easy, with large payoff. They did things, good and bad, for attention only. I wasn't supposed to notice that. I was supposed to put my head down and feel horrible for everything I ever did.

I've had time to clear my head, and think about how much I should scrutinize my own actions. Even if my standards are still impossibly high for myself, I seem to be very forgiving towards others, finding them good people even if all they do is live for themselves, and find happiness and pleasure for their own benefit. Just not doing harm to others, is good! People are not selfish for wanting to be happy, and focusing on their own happiness, it means there are more happy people on the planet, which is what we want.

The way I was taught to go about being a good person was all about sacrifice. Give away your everything for nothing in return, and then, maybe, if everyone feels you've given them enough, if nobody is left behind, if nobody is left dissatisfied, maybe you'll be considered good. Which is impossible, because you cannot please everyone, you cannot rip yoursef into enough pieces to fix everyone's problems. It's a way to get torn and used and exploited and then have everyone abandon you completely after they've used all of the pieces to their full extent. It's not something a human being should be put trough. It's a devastating mission with no fulfillment, no happy ending, no possibility of it turning okay.

I've started to consider that tearing myself apart for others is not only wrong, but actively a bad thing to do, because it harms me. Is something really good if it harms a person? I am a person. My deeds should not cause harm to myself. Sacrifice is romanticized in both religion and media, but should people want someone to be sacrificed for their own happiness? Is it okay and normal to have a portion of people suffering and torn apart so another portion would be happy? It's a bad system! We shouldn't live like this. People who want to benefit from other's sacrifice are not good, and should not be even given the chance to benefit from it.

Nobody should be sacrificed. Nobody should be bearing other people's burdens indefinitely. Nobody's life should be degraded to another person's convenience.

And children should not be scrutinized for their good acts. Children don't yet have a developed sense of morality, they often copy what they're seeing others do, and they follow their basic instincts of curiosity, desire, boundary testing, wanting to try things out. Their little experiments will often not turn out great, but it's the only way to learn. Being shamed so badly at this stage, for 'not being good enough' can only paralyze them, ending their learning process, forcing them to stop developing their own thinking. So they accept the grooming instead, they accept what is told to them about good and evil, without having the chance to test it and decide for themselves.

I got told I was being bad and I believed it, without ever being able to see how others are benefiting from my desperate obedience. It destroyed my sense of self. Learning this as an adult is much more complicated, because you first have to undo everything that's been done to you before, every belief placed in your head so you'd give up on your own interests and do as you are told, every fear placed in you if you disobey. And then you have to experiment and test your thoughts, see what happens, which again, feels embarrassing as an adult, to have to learn the basics like that. And also at times, scary, because you still hold the trauma of being punished for testing anything, you might feel like your life is on the line if you allow yourself some mischief. Even when others are doing it constantly, carelessly, and get no punishment whatsoever.

They put us trough all this just so they could benefit from us when we were children.

#religious abuse #abusive parents #child abuse #psychological abuse #child grooming #religious grooming #children being scrutinized and pronounced not good enough #when they're trying their best #while adults are above criticism #and apparently even god is supporting their bs #if you ask them about it #double standards

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nanabansama · 26 days ago

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119 Thoughts

The recent chapter was... good!! Great, even!! We got a lot of answers and the new developments felt straightforward enough to follow. Still not fully comfortable with my interpretation yet, but honestly I'm just happy to be along for the ride.

Anyway, I wanted to write my thoughts down just to make sure I have everything straight going forward. There's a lot going on and some of my older theories have been debunked!

First, I'd like to point out what I think is pretty obvious and say that Kou must be possessed right now. The specifics are unclear but in my head this is still Kou, he's just being manipulated by the Red House or something. One thing I find interesting though is that he's overall really innocent... he doesn't do anything to put Nene in danger that she doesn't do herself. Nene is the one who decides to risk it all and talk to Amane, after all. The only thing I can say Kou did bad is separate her from the group and take her to Amane. Whatever is controlling Kou might be aware that Nene would drop her defenses around Amane and use that to their advantage.

Mitsuba's part in all of this is still a mystery, but I have to wonder if he will try to trick the Akane/Aoi/Teru trio whenever we jump back to them. I'm suspecting that they won't convene with Nene right away, though I have no idea how Nene will fare in the next chapter... (could she join Mitsuba and Kou and become the Red House's puppet!? I could easily see her tricking Aoi!)

Anyway, moving onto Yugi-sensei, I loved the glimpse into his headspace we got in this chapter. It seems like he's under the delusion everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is happier in this timeline, which is quite interesting. It almost makes me wonder if the Clock Keepers made him like this to ensure the timeline stayed this way. They told Baby Amane that the future changed, after all, which is... honestly quite disturbing. While I think it was foolish for the Clock Keepers' goal to be to get rid of Tsukasa in the first place, I don't think they'd make such a big mistake by telling Amane the future changed and traumatizing him. The possibility that the Clock Keepers made Amane this way for the good of the world would be a thrilling twist, I think!

I also think this could explain his other curious behavior. Many have wondered why Amane spreads rumors about Tsukasa-kun and why he smirks when school kids summon Tsukasa-kun, and it seems the reason is because he thinks Tsukasa is happy this way. The fact that this Tsukasa is the age Tsukasa disappeared, too, probably helps with this because Amane might still be under the assumption that the Tsukasa who came back after their 4th birthday was a fake. Now obviously, this Amane doesn't have all his memories yet, but it's extremely likely they're just buried inside of him and--unbeknownst to him--influencing his current actions. Either way, I think it's clear that Amane is under the delusion that Tsukasa is happy torturing kids at school. (...and who's to say whether he is or isn't!!!)

All of the souls trapped in the Red House might be in a similar situation, where Amane is under the delusion he's making them happy. I wonder if his parents are part of them...? I'm just thinking that Kou's cheerfulness this chapter is really relevant. He's so happy to just be with Nene and seems to have zero worries at all. It's honestly kinda creepy, when you consider how he was in the previous chapter!

Now hear me out. I'm not usually one to wish harm on Nene, but it would be interesting if Nene got captured and got to meet Amane's parents, assuming they got trapped in the Red House too. I proposed the theory that Kou has just been brainwashed but it could very well be a fake Kou, and if she got to team up with Kou and Mitsuba I think that'd make for an amusing trio. Especially since we have another trio in the house right now with Akane, Teru and Aoi. We could have Nene trapped and trying to escape while a fake evil Nene tries to trick them... that could be so fun!!! (Writing fanfiction at this point lol)

If we go along with the theory that Kou is fake, perhaps the souls trapped in the Red House also have fake body doubles? You'll notice that they are very obviously not happy, considering the way they urged Mitsuba to run away and escape. But I really cannot think for another explanation for Kou's behavior in this chapter. Amane's ominous line about everyone being happy plus Kou being so cheerful just feel so connected! Perhaps the happiness once instilled in the poor souls trapped in the Red House eventually wore off, proving how fake their happiness was in the first place. (Or perhaps I've gone off the deep end.)

In any case, I really wonder what the point of oddly cheerful fake/brainwashed Kou is. I can only assume it's to try and trick Nene into thinking this new world is better. The motives don't seem very malicious, despite all the harm it's bringing. Amane genuinely wants people to be happy, and I think the Red House is working with him to make his dreams a disturbing reality.

I just wonder where Tsukasa is... is he trapped in the Red House, too? Or is he trapped inside the school, inside Tsukasa-kun? What if he's trapped as a child, unable to grow up, because the innocent little brother that left Amane on their birthday is the only true Tsukasa in Amane's eyes? How well did the Clock Keepers do at getting rid of Tsukasa, anyway...? He can't really be gone, can he!?

Ahh, but anyway!!! Thanks for reading if you got this far. And if Amane really prefers Baby Tsukasa then I suppose I can't complain. I mean, just look at him!!

He is so freakin' CUTE!!!! Grahhh!!!! ♡♡♡♡

#jshk #tbhk #Jshk 119 #Tbhk 119 #tbhk spoilers

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beenbaanbuun · 8 months ago

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Hey bunny! Sorry for bothering you when I'm sure you're in the middle of perfecting the addams!matz fic, but I have a kinda specific request I'm not sure I'd trust anyone else with.

I've been feeling kinda low on the self esteem/body image scales, but whenever I look for comfort fics I find that a lot of them cater towards chubby or curvier readers, which is great! I'm really happy that authors are doing that... but as someone who has the figure of a crayon, and is insecure about not being curvy or "feminine" enough, or worse that I appear child-like, it kinda just serves as a reminder some days T-T

So would it be too self indulgent to request a comfort/body worship fic with either Mingi or Yeosang with an s/o who's not curvy and is insecure about it?

No hard feelings if that's outta your comfort zone tho! I geddit ^^

Have a good day bunny, hope you have nothing but happy, snuggly, cozy vibes <33

~Lyra

i get where you’re coming from completely!! i feel like as a curvier girl i’m very lucky because it’s fairly easy to find fics catered towards me. i guess due to my own ignorance i haven’t really taken notice of a lack of fics that don’t cater to me but now you point it out i can see that it’s definitely true! i hope that i can write this perfectly for you because i feel like everyone should have fics that include them!

so i’m under the impression that mingi does not give a fuck about body type in the slightest

i mean we’ve all seen his fan calls - the man flirts with anyone regardless of body type and he’s so real for that!

but despite your boyfriend’s love and affection, sometimes your own brain gets to you a little

and sometimes the time you spend picking yourself to pieces in the mirror increases to a level that’s become concerning to mingi

he’ll catch you from time to time, just standing there and running your hands over your form

and, sure, he may be a little oblivious sometimes, but he isn’t dumb; he knows that it can’t be anything good

it’s not really a surprise when the two of you are getting ready for a date night and he catches you doing the exact same thing

he doesn’t say anything as he crawls on the bed, choosing to relax as he waits for you to finish, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t worried

still, even with him wondering whether or not you’re okay, he can’t help but admire how pretty you look in that dress

the way it elegantly hugs your body, stopping at mid-thigh to reveal just enough of your pretty legs to draw him in, but not enough to send him feral

well, even more feral than usual that is; you could be dressed in a pair of ratty old pyjamas and that man would still find something to make his dick twitch

“mingi,” you say after a short while of him admiring you, “do you think i look alright?”

his brow furrows and he scoffs in dismay

he’s almost offended in a way because how dare someone say something like that about his girl?

then he remembers that you are his girl and the fact that you’re saying it should probably be more cause for concern than offense

“you look better than alright, princess,” he says, “you think i’d be sat here undressing you with my eyes if i didn’t?”

you send him a glare through the mirror

“that’s not the point, mingi,” you grumble, “i know you think i’m hot but…”

“but what?” he asks, voice thick with worry, “you’re not worried about what other people think of you, right?”

you begin to shake your head, although you feel like your denial isn’t necessarily true

so instead you shrug, and with a sigh you tear yourself away from the mirror so you can go and sit on the edge of the bed next to mingi

he budges his legs over, making space for you to perch yourself on the mattress

“i mean i guess so?” you say, “i just… i don’t want people thinking i look like a child or something, y’know?”

mingi doesn’t know - the last thing he thinks of you is ‘child’, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he can’t try and sympathise

he shifts one of his hands from behind his head to rub against your arm soothingly

“i don’t think you look like a child,” he says, “i think you look like my girlfriend; my very pretty, very sexy girlfriend, very mature-looking girlfriend.”

and while you appreciate his words, you can’t help but feel like they don’t mean much coming from him

it makes you feel bad, of course, but your boyfriend telling you you’re hot just doesn’t fill you with confidence about what everyone else thinks

“you don’t count,” you pout, “you have to think i’m hot.”

you don’t see the way mingi rolls his eyes before shoving himself into a sitting position

he shuffles his way over until he’s right behind you, close enough to swaddle your upper half in his overly-lengthy arms

he squeezes tight, just how he knows you like it

“i don’t have to think anything,” he kisses the spot just below your ear, “i think you’re hot because i have eyes and i can see that you’re hot.”

you can’t help but giggle as he nuzzled his nose into your neck, puffing out blasts of warm air against the sensitive skin

he always could find a way of making you laugh, even if in this situation, you’d personally class it as cheating

“well,” you say through your giggles, “i also have eyes and my eyes say the opposite!”

“yeah, but i don’t trust your eyes,” he kisses you, wet and sloppy and soft, against where your shoulder meets your neck, “they’re connected to your brain and me and your brain aren’t the best of friends.”

his hand move until they’re flat against your ribs, thumbs smoothing over the fabric of your dress

he almost wished the dress wasn’t there at all, wanting to feel the skin to skin contact, but he hardly thought now was the best time to ask you to strip

“you love my brain,” you counter, “my brain is me and you always tell me you love me!”

he smiles; you feel his teeth brush against you

“true,” he says, “but your brain is also mean to you, and anyone who’s mean to my baby is my enemy, okay?”

it’s a silly argument, but you can’t help but nod along in agreement

“good,” he says as he feels you give into his compliments, “now we have two choices; we either go out on the date, or we lie here and cuddle. it’s up to you, princess.”

you know which one he’d prefer; the way he’s stuck himself to you back like a limpet is enough evidence of that

but you can’t quite decide for yourself

one one hand you’re already dressed and made up, plus the fact that you’ve been wanting to go to this place for ages now and tables are really hard to book

on the other, taking the uncomfortable shoes off and crawling into bed next to your overly-clingy boyfriend seemed just so tempting

perhaps the choice isn’t that hard after all, you realise as you lean over - boyfriend still very much attached to you - to grab your makeup wipes

“pick a film, then,” you instruct as you take one out of the packet and begin to rub at your face, “and make it a good one!”

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez fic #ateez headcanons #mingi fluff #mingi x reader #mingi fanfic

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walkingstackofbooks · 4 days ago

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For the ficlet prompt. What do you think their first lunch was like after the Dominion camp?

Julian is reeling from the ramifications of the changling that took his place, which everyone liked better. And maybe he's disappointed in Garak especially for not recognizing the imposter.

But also he learned the truth about Tain and watched Garak see his father die (and WHY did Garak do that??) and Julian probably wants to comfort his friend / situationship.

Garak meanwhile is reliving all the lunches that were actually the changling over the past few months. And his dad died and Julian SAW it (because he wanted Julian there). And he's worried about Julian who just got back from prison and probably has PTSD. And also why didn't he recognize the changling is he losing his edge as a spy?

And neither of them can say anything directly at lunch. So is it awkward? Are they both just so relieved to have the other there that it isn't awkward?

Do they talk about some book that acts as a perfect metaphor for what one (or maybe both) of them are going through??

Thanks to some assiduous Garak trickery over Halloween, I've finally got there! Thank you for your patience! (I know I never promised prompts would end up fulfilled, but still - half of this has been sitting in my drafts since July!)

I'm afraid this is not a happy fic, but I hope it answers a couple of your questions nonetheless! Thank you for the prompt - it was super interesting to think about!

The sound of the door chime startled him, and something dropped to the floor as he realised that his mind had drifted off again. It was now 12:38, which meant that he'd been out of it for some twenty-seven minutes - not the longest stretch by any means, but long enough. He looked down at the duster that had landed on his foot; apparently, he'd been cleaning? A glance around the quarters confirmed it: everything looked just that little bit neater, the books on the shelf were in a different order, and the sofa no longer bore the evidence that he had been sleeping on that instead of the bed.

Julian shivered. He had meant to tidy up, rearrange some things - but the purpose had been to make the quarters feel decidedly his again, and this... this didn't.

The door chimed again, and he hurried to shout 'Enter', knowing how easy it had been to concern his friends these past few days.

For some reason, it had not crossed his mind that it might be Garak to come through the door, armed with his usual pleasant smile. Maybe Julain had got too used to all the worried looks his other friends had been shooting him, but he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or apprehensive about the Cardassian's appearance. Everyone else had been understanding, at least, about the weird ways his trauma had been making itself known since he had got back – even if he had been embarrassed to have them see him like that, surely reinforcing how inferior the real Julian Bashir was to the pretend one. But Garak, well... who knew how he'd react?

"I see you weren't expecting me, Doctor," Garak said.

"Not exactly," responded Julian. "What are you doing here in—"

He hesitated, voice stuttering to a halt over the word "my quarters". It still didn't feel right. "What are you doing here?" he finished weakly instead.

"Well, I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about our scheduled discussion," said Garak. "Although, of course, if you have other things to do…"

"No," broke in Julian, some part of him reaching out keenly for this time with Garak, no matter his anxieties. "No, I'm not doing anything. Please stay, Garak."

The Cardassian raised his eyebrows. "Stay, Doctor? But the replimat—"

Julian shook his head, looking away. "Unless it makes you uncomfortable..." he said, remembering too late that having conversation with Garak also meant eating lunch with Garak, and realising that he might trip over that very first hurdle. "I'm not, um— Food still isn't..."

He cringed at his own incoherence; he wasn't exactly making a convincing impression of a good lunch companion.

"I'm still adjusting to eating regular meals, and so the replicator here has been programmed to better accommodate my current needs."

And now he was sounding like a medical robot. Great job, Julian.

"I understand," said Garak. "Your recovery will be swift, I hope? But for now, there's little I would enjoy more than to accept your invitation. Where should I sit?"

"Oh, anywhere," replied Julian, gesturing at the sofas, grateful now for his unconscious burst of housekeeping. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked, just as much to put off answering Garak's first question as out of habitual politeness.

Garak replied that some rokassa juice would suit him well, thank you very much, and so Julian busied himself at the replicator, taking as much time as was believable over the task. He was rather out-of-practise at figuring out Elim Garak.

The trouble wasn't that Garak never meant what he said; most people didn't. But from most people, Julian would have assumed a question about his health was a simple pleasantry, and would have told them what they wanted to hear: yes, he was recovering well, and hoped to be totally back on his feet soon. With Garak, you had to listen out for what he didn't say, to know his meaning.

Your recovery will be swift, I hope? It was barely even a question. And that meant Garak could be asking it simply because it was the normal thing to do (and maybe Julian really shouldn’t be obsessing so much over it). On the other hand, however, he could be showing great concern towards Julian, but because this was Garak, masking that he felt anything at all behind the banality. Or maybe he was even trying to indicate that he had just as little patience for sharing discussion without having lunch as he did for having lunch without any discussion, and he was only staying because he felt obliged to. Julian had noticed how Garak had said that there was “little” more he would enjoy, implying that there were other things he’d rather be doing...

Damn it all. Usually, Julian enjoyed running all the possibilities through his mind, relishing in the challenge of trying to give Garak the answer he wanted, but right now it already felt like there was too much in his brain, and Garak had barely even entered the room! Julian was certain that his mind had been quicker than this a month ago, that there hadn’t been this constant fog which he now had to wade through to get to the end of any thought, that his anxiety had been neither this loud, nor this overwhelming.

The glass was in his hands, and he was handing it over to Garak; his feet had carried him back to the sofas without waiting for him to direct them. Julian sat down, mildly disturbed. The dissociation was nothing new, it had been following him since solitary – hence his earlier acceptance of the newly-clean room, rather than outright panic – but usually it had confined itself to times when he had been alone. He hoped this was just a blip, and not a development that was going to stay.

“How have you been?” he asked. His fingers had started to tap against his leg, and he pulled his hands sharply together, clasping them tightly. Maybe he ought to have made himself a drink, too, just to give his hands something to hold.

“I am better, certainly, than the last time we talked,” Garak replied. “And you?”

Following Garak’s lead, Julian gave an equally non-committal reply. “I’ve been worse,” he shrugged.

“You’re still experiencing… difficulties, though?”

“Is it so obvious?” Julian chuckled, wincing and praying that it really was just the obvious that Garak had spotted.

“Well for one thing,” Garak started, “—and do forgive me for pointing this out, I feel a little rude… but I do not believe that this is Rokassa juice.”

“I—”

For a few seconds, Julian felt as though his brain had come to a complete halt. He sat there, staring at Garak stupidly, before leaning across the coffee table to reach out for Garak’s glass. Now he was thinking about it, he realised that Rokassa juice usually came in a mug.

And this, unmistakably, was tea. Tarkalean, not Cardassian.

“Heh, must have been on autopilot,” he said, trying to laugh it off. “I’m terribly sorry, Garak – let me get you another—”

“Allow me, my dear,” interrupted Garak, smoothly rising from the sofa and leaving Julian to wonder how on Earth he’d failed to notice the mix-up himself. He supposed that he really must be more behind on sleep than he’d thought.

The fact that Garak had seemed to return almost instantly added to that theory. Julian hadn’t even heard the beep of the replicator, and startled when Garak suddenly appeared by the sofas once more, mug in hand.

“Don’t worry, I’m just tired,” he said, in answer to Garak’s quizzical look. “I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”

He hadn’t meant for that to slip out, and hoped that his earlier supposition was true: that Garak was just being polite, and wasn’t really checking up on him. Julian didn’t need yet another friend inquiring about his nightmares.

He had no such luck, of course. Garak almost seemed to pounce on this opening.

“It is my understanding that humans recover best only when they are getting sufficient rest,” he said. “Indeed, I seem to remember several occasions upon which you, my dear, lamented your patients’ inability to follow the simple instruction of “Get some sleep”.”

Julian groaned, leaning back into the sofa, twisting the glass of rapidly-cooling tea in his hands. “It’s not that simple.”

“Do you expect it to be?”

The question brought Julian up short, grating in its sharp lack of sympathy.

“I—Not really, I suppose? Not after what we went through.”

The ‘we’ slipped out without thought, an unwitting lie despite its truth. But it was easier, somehow, to claim the shared ghastliness of the final few days. ‘I’ sounded dreadfully lonely.

An unfamiliar expression stole across Garak’s face, and Julian wished he could tell what the Cardassian was thinking. Whatever it was, it seemed that Garak had lost control of the conversation too, the both of them reaching out for something to say, and returning with nothing – nothing they could admit to, anyway.

“Did you read any books while I was away?” he asked, before he had to contend with any awkward silence.

“None that were worth discussing,” Garak replied dismissively, leaving Julian wracking his brains for what he’d recommended that was so objectionable – before the unpleasant realisation swept over him that anything Garak had read, he would have discussed with the changeling. His stomach curdled, and he took a quick mouthful of his tea to try and swallow down the bile rising in the back of his throat.

“Can I—Do you—?" He was just saying words now, hoping that he’d stumble upon a suitable question and coming up laughably blank.

His stomach came to the rescue, interrupting his stilted thoughts with a growl. A rather loud growl, in fact, which had him wondering if he’d actually eaten breakfast that morning.

“I should eat,” he said, standing up and trying for a smile. “Thank you, Garak – this has been… nice—”

A frown drifted across Garak's face. “Are you we not sharing lunch, Doctor?”, he asked, his eyes flicking to the clock. Julian followed his gaze, and was startled to realise less than ten minutes had passed since Garak had entered. Oh.

But eating was difficult enough without the shadow of the changeling’s lunches looming fresh in Julian’s mind. “I can’t,” he replied. “I’m sorry, Garak, it’s just, I can’t—.” He broke off.

I can’t eat with you.

Why would Garak even want to stay for longer anyway? Surely he could see that there was no scintillating conversation to be found in these quarters today?

Unless Julian had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even realised what Garak had really come looking for.

“Garak…” he started hesitantly. “About Tain—”

“I’ll leave you to your lunch, Doctor,” Garak interrupted, speaking over Julian as though he hadn’t said a word. “I hope you have a pleasant meal.”

The Cardassian stood up, first putting his mug away in the replicator, and then crossing the room to the door. For once, Julian could see straight through him, the way that Garak was trying to disguise the fact that he was all but bolting from the room.

“At least I know I’m not okay!” he found himself shouting over the sound of the door’s opening swish.

Garak turned to look at him. “Is that a fact?” he asked – and then he was gone.

Julian sat down, aching in a way he could not name. His stomach hurt, and the quarters were not his, and he was once more alone.

#Gosh this was a marathon of a fic #Despite it being one of the shorter ones I've written 😅😅#Thank you for the prompt!#It really did help to get me writing again at the beginning of summer #which was what i needed to get a kick start on Vision Awry #Julian bashir #Elim Garak #DS9 fanfiction #Andi writes #wsb

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outsidereveries · 8 months ago

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Hi babe, could u do a personality reading abt jude bellingham? I love ur content

jude bellingham's personality

what he was like in his childhood: personally, i am unaware of how wealthy his family was during that time, but he was aware of the hard times his parents had during his childhood.. therefore, jude's family might've had more hardships than most people, and jude was aware of them. he might've wanted more toys or things, related to his hobbies during jude's childhood and it feels like (to me) he received them at later time, when his parents could afford them. despite these times his family was in, jude was very happy, very optimistic child who wants to achieve his dreams. jude wanted for his family to live well and not.. in these hard situations they were in. because jude started playing football since he was 6/7, he just worked really hard to make his parents proud.

off-topic, edit: since i got aware that his parents have had always money (jude went to private school), then his parents might've had not enough savings.

which qualities has changed during puberty: he started to adapt with the football industry, therefore he got a lot more courageous than before (confident too). he also started to balance in one way or another his personal life with his public one (i've seen some videos when fans of him were near him in a way k-pop fans would be and i got a bit worried tbh but if he's fine with this, then he just adapted with it).

what he's faking: i'd say nothing, however he repress his emotions in front of the public eyes. he admires highly the attention he receives because of his work and is very thankful, however he is just so thankful that he watches the other people in his industry and how is like a job to them, so jude just tries to not show it that much because everyone else isn't showing it as much as jude personally wants to. he also would like to be transparent to the public eye (to be honest and himself) but again because of his industry repress these thoughts and intentions.

what's also fake but tries not to be: his love life, i believe so. he tries to find his special person, but it just.. won't work. he just loves football (soccer) very much and is just too busy to do what he loves. jude might waits for his soulmate/twin flame at this point, so he just does what he loves to do. i doubt these cards are for his family, especially his brother. from what i felt, jude's energy is really pure and geniune, so i just really doubt there's anything fake about his family as he is very thankful to them and loves very dearly.

what's genuine: his charisma, his aura/energy, his love for the soccer/football.

what we don't see: jude actually knows his worth. possibly related to his family and what they went through around his childhood, he tries to negotiate anything as much as he can/could. jude tries to get more than his personal expectations, such as goals, money and etc. as much as he dreams about his future, he acts through it and thinks realistically. he might hide what he wants to do or will do, but this is better for jude himself because that works for him.

political views: jude is personally dissapointed in uk's current government (this doesn't have to do with the royal family at all as i saw their current prime minister) because there was a private conversation that happened in the past. whether if it happened recently (months ago or even weeks/days) or a year-two, there was political offer to jude. not for him to join the politics but for him to support something he doesn't actually supports, so he refused. bellingham seemed to not trust uk's current government because he saw the truth about them. he feels proud to refuse their offer (it seems to have a big amount of money if he accepted it), so he would be the happiest if he sees them receiving their karma. jude would want new elections to uk as soon as possible.

what's mixing between his morals and the fame: the dynamic life the celebrity life is offering. jude is more simplistic, he feels that his home is surrounding his family and not the fame itself. jude dislikes the long distance and really tries to be with them as much as possible.

would he choose the fame over his standarts: obviously, no. his family is before everything.

religious/spiritual views: might be an atheist or believes in specific religion but not to this extent the religious people believe. from spiritual perspective, he seems less woke as he puts his effort first before everything else (at least, from achieving his desires's pov).

controversial things he agrees with: that everyone shouldn't go after the fame and/or money at all costs. he believes that everyone should think through their future a bit and plan before acting.

addictions (either more prone to has them or might have them): bellingham seems to be an over-achiever, whether if it's about himself or not. i can see bellingham taking similar route to berbatov, where dimitar has a foundation to gifted kids. i see something similar for jude. you might be wondering where is the addiction here, and i'll answer. jude might be very, very stubborn about how he personally works. with the time, if he starts of course, he might try to do everything alone (with his family at its maximum, maybe?). basically, overworking/overachieving.

destruction traits: risking everything for an idea he wants to do.. possibly his impulsivity/stubborness.

qualities he's proud to have: how hardworking he is.. and how he balances his job with his personal life too.

intentions for the future: doing the same as usual. he will work even harder to be at its best form!

#outsidereveries #tarot reading #tarot #celebrity tarot #jude bellingham #harakter

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nyaagolor · 2 months ago

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Howdy again, if it's the meta world VS "real world" thing in Umineko that's got you stumbling, don't worry. The assumption Ryukishi and co. seem to be going with is that the meta world IS real, and everyone's just chilling in a happy magic afterlife post-series (hence how episodes 7, 8, and 9 can even happen). The "07th Expansion All Characters Settings Collection" guidebook even has little epilogue blurbs for the cast, I can link you the translation hosted on the wiki if you want. It's still bleak in the sense that, yknow, everyone was dead from the start and the whole journey was more of a "coming to terms with what happened" kind of deal, but I think it works given stuff like the Divine Comedy references going on (if you read Battler as Dante and Beatrice as uh, Beatrice, a lot of Umineko'll start to make sense). The way I see the split is kind of an "as above, so below" type deal - while Tohya is down in the land of the living trying to write and solve things, Battler and friends really are up there fighting for their lives in purgatory, and the two reflect each other. Of course if that's not the problem you have, I'd love to hear what you're thinking!

hiii thank u for the ask!! (sorry this will be a Long One). I'll admit the meta world / real world stuff tripped me up at first, because looking at episodes 4 and 8 it really seemed to be implying that the metanarrative was the coping mechanism of Ange+Tohya and their way of pretending like their loved ones got the happy endings they didn't get in life rather than something we can actually assume happened. However extra content implies this is not the case, Ryukishi doesn't feel like the author who would do that especially after the thesis of Higurashi, and tbh even if he did there was enough plausible deniability that I would just imagine the Golden Land as real because You Gotta Cope Somehow. I love the "as above so below" vibes too, that's a fun new aspect to incorporate

My biggest hangup with the ending was basically in the idea that Sayo's narrative is fundamentally doomed. I was under the impression that the boat scene was implying that Sayo couldn't be happy even if she did escape due to the burden of the truth / her trauma. The positive framing of the catbox remaining at the bottom of the ocean initially struck me as a "her death is the happiest ending you can hope for because of how fucked up this all is" which is already a nihilistic narrative but downright unbearable when given to an intersex trans woman. I just don't vibe with hopeless trans narratives at all, and felt like I had misinterpreted smth bc Ryukishi isn't really a nihilistic guy. I'll admit I got a little soured to the narrative as a whole when I looked around online and saw people talking about how Sayo getting a happy ending was "missing the point".

After talking to @heartgold I realized that I had reversed the causality a bit. I was under the impression while playing that Ryukishi's insistence that "things had to happen this way" was him not just saying "oh everyone is already dead, the end result is already the same bc we're looking back at past events" but also "it doesn't matter what individual actions people took, it was always going to end in tragedy". I realize now it's more of a "this was totally preventable in so many ways but it already happened and now we have to grieve and cope in whatever way we can manage" kinda thing rather than a "this is fate and Sayo was screwed regardless", so I'm cool with that aspect. (Also I won't lie I prefer to imagine the boat scene as almost entirely metaphorical and more of a representation of the fragmentation of Battler's consciousness due to trauma in a similar way as what happened to Sayo, but that's neither here nor there)

The other part of it, and the thing I'm still really hung up on, is the question of whether or not the Golden Land is actually a happy ending and, if it is real, whether we're supposed to view it as a sorta perverse tragedy. On one hand, the alters are all implied to be separate people and they get their happy endings (yay), but on the other hand that doesn't really fix nor address Sayo feeling like she needs romantic love to be fulfilled (also The Incest(?) I'm genuinely unsure if the whole "alters becoming separate entities" negates the incest or not). The idea that Sayo was so far gone that even the fantasy created from her best memories does not allow her to truly be happy is just so insanely depressing to me, so I find myself stuck with that friction of wanting Sayo to have her prince and her white horse and her fantasy happy ending while also not wanting to downplay the truth. Having this little moral dilemma feels like the point of Episode 8 and really gets us into Tohya's head, which is awesome, but also gives me a lot of mixed feelings. Knowing that Sayo's truth literally has Beatrice married to Battler makes it even tougher bc I can't just use plausible deniability and say they're platonic bc they are uh. very much not as far as Ryukishi is concerned. I'm still working out my feelings on it, mostly because I desperately want Sayo to have everything she's ever wanted but also having to contend with the little part of me that's whispering "it can't and shouldn't happen and you know it". Alas. Umineko.

PS: thank you for telling me about the character booklet, that's SO cute!!! I love the little details about everyone and the cat-ear Bern is everything I've ever wanted

#umineko #umineko spoilers #mod vex #ask #i love avoidable tragedies which is why I adore the actual in-universe part of Umineko #but nihilistic stuff doesn't vibe with me at all especially when it's implied that a character's happiness or end is fated #I've seen a good number of ppl saying that treating the golden land like a happy end is bad #but like. What else does she have. how can I make her a happy ending #i will not let her end this narrative unhappy #which is a me issue but w/e

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izunx · 1 year ago

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I saw on your master list you wanted some black clover requests and so was thinking how about Finral and Magna (separately) with an s/o who has strong magic but isn't really confident in their abilities and them just encouraging their s/o. Fluff would be great thank you

S/O with strong powers! ✧.*

. Thank u smmm!! this concept is so cuteee . disclaimer; I'm currently reading the manga and I watched the anime quite a while ago so please don't pay mind if its ooc! . warnings: none

✧.* Finral x gn reader ✧.* Magna x gn reader

FINRAL Roulacase

It's been too long. Too long since you've last looked happy and confident and it's been having a toll on Finral too. Should he bring it up? Should he just let you do your own thing and find yourself? He couldn't even if he wanted to. And that's why he's lost for words as your both sitting down at the base of the black bulls:

"Y/n- You seem quite down? Is there any problems??" He held his breath.

"Huh?" You looked off into the distance, debating whether your little problem was a big enough deal to talk about. You don't want to embarrass yourself in front of the man you love.

"Nothing really, it's nothing" You gave him a reassuring smile. But he could easily see through that façade.

He gently took your hand and placed it into his, he had worry weaved into his eyebrow. You couldn't help yourself at that face.

"It's just I just don't know how I possibly made it into this squad," he looked at you and you knew he was intently listening; reassuring you to go on, "I don't think my abilities are enough."

At that, his jaw drapped.

"Are you kidding me y/n?! You're amazing!" He squeezed your hand. If anything, the man was puzzled. Wondering if you were being serious.

"You think so?" You looked down into your lap.

"If anything, I look up to you love" He put his arm around you and whispered into your ear (it kinda hurt his pride saying this next part)

"I honestly think you're one of the strongest, miles better than me for sure and you're up there! You're an inspiration to a lot of the knights I can tell you that" He once more gave you a wide smile and glided his hand up and down your arm in a reassuring manner.

"You're too good for me, Finral" You immediately wrapped your arms around him, smiling into his shoulders. "You say I'm strong but I'm stronger when you're with me"

And you've done it again, got Finral smiling n' blushing like a teenage girl with a crush.

"If you'd like, we can train together" He broke the hug but his arm remained on you.

You smiled at that, you just knew you got lucky finding a gem like Finral. "Yeah, I'd like that"

You both got up, smiling like idiots but on the way out he just had to grumble, "there's no point anyways, you'll destroy me in a second love" and to that, you laughed loudly. No one could make you feel better but him.

MAGNA Swing

"Do you know what's up with y/n?" Luck asked Magna curiously, "she doesn't want to fight me anymore"

"Huh?? Are you sure you aren't going delusional?"

You'd never refuse a fight. Rather you were the one challenging him or Luck to those fights, testing out your abilities day by day. You were one of the stronger magic knights. You knew your worth, but that's only what he thought. Not wanting to worry Magna, you ended up not telling him what you were feeling at all.

"I'll go speak with her, something must be up," And off he ran.

Unbeknown to you, Magna had a fat crush on you. Everyone except you knew this. He would most literally do everything at your command. It was his priority to make sure you're alright.

"Y/N!!" Magna ran into your room, panicked.

"Magna? What's wrong?" You were laying on the bed, clueless as to why you had a scrawny tallish man barge into your room.

"Are you sick?"

"... No? Magna are you alright?"

"I am but are you?" He slowly made his way to you and sat in the chair opposite you as you got up to sit in the bed.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?"

"Don't lie to me y/n, I'm not the brightest but it doesn't take a smartass to know that you would never refuse a fight for no reason."

You gave him one of those smiles. The smile that made his heart skip a beat and his stomach do backflips. You knew he was the one for you the very moment he took his time out of his days to help each other train; you liked him. A lot.

"I can't hide anything from you" You looked down at your lap, not knowing where to start.

"Do you think I'm strong enough to stay here?"

He looked at you for a second, lost.

"Strong enough? Y/n you're even too good to be training with me of all people."

"But-"

"Absolutely no buts y/n." He grabbed your hand and looked at you with piercing eyes.

"I was born a peasant, I don't have much magic at all but you proved to me that I can work and train to earn myself some strength. And you're one of the knights that work the hardest everyday so don't ever undermine your strength."

His speech could've brought anyone to tears and it most certainly brought you to sobbing.

You hugged him tight, laying your head on his shoulder as he sat there frozen, not knowing what to do.

"God Magna, you're honestly a gem" You looked at him with softness in your eyes, "I like you, Magna." And at that, he lost his shit.

"REALLY?" He didn't know what to say, his hands were strangled in the air. He ultimately decided to put his arms tightly wrapped around you. He inhaled your scent and appreciated you.

"I like you a lot too, y/n" And the rest of the evening was spent with both of you gushing your feelings out, embracing each other.

#x reader #black clover #black clover x reader #black clover magna #black clover finral #magna swing #magna x reader #finral x reader #anime x reader #black clover anime #y/n x magna #y/n x finral #black clover fanfiction #black clover headcanons #magna imagine #finral imagine #finral roulacase

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charcubed · 1 year ago

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Look, I personally lose nothing if Lokius doesn’t become explicit canon. And if that were to become the case, I’d also have no regrets for saying for years that that would happen in the show by the end ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I’ve said it before, but by now it would be Disney/Marvel’s loss, NOT mine. Whoever wasted or limited the potential would be the idiot, not me.

I’m simply never gonna feel crazy for noticing what’s happening in a story or silly for daring to hope it’ll be brought to fully satisfying narrative completion. That's just a me thing. Maybe this is because at heart I’m stubborn! But I’d like to think I’m not unreasonable. I can’t control whether writing stays consistent or censorship is overcome... But I just do my best to construct solid arguments, and as long as those arguments remain solid, I stand by them :)

I know not everyone would say the same, or they consider this to be "hope" or "optimism," but I see it as logic based in noticing what the text of a show/story is doing. And personally I also consider blatantly evident subtext to be "canon enough," so if we get my personal minimum, my happiness may still outweigh any potential disappointment for me.

However. Here's what I've come here to say today, in reaction to things I've seen floating around in the fandom:

While I do understand on some level why people worry that Lokius won’t be more explicitly canonically romantic because it could be censored by Disney.... At this point, I don’t understand how people can think Loki/Sylvie will still happen.

As of right now, there’s no way to argue for that in my opinion. (I'd like to see someone try.)

The show has set up a fun but very simple situation from basically the start:

They made romantic love a point of relevance in the show’s story. More specifically, they pointed out Loki's desire for a "real" romantic love, and had him learn the lesson that he doesn't deserve to be alone. They didn't HAVE to do all of those things and tie them together. They CHOSE to make romantic love relevant – and they have actively continued to choose to do that, to the point of including a mirrored dark love triangle in s2 ep3. That narrative thread simply has to be fulfilled.

So if they deliberately established that Loki wants and needs a “real” love, and his relationship with Sylvie was referred to as "fiction" so she cannot be a real love for him.... Who does it have to be?

Obviously it has to be Mobius. And of course, the whole show points to Lokius also, for countless more reasons than just this simple breakdown. But pointing this element out is the simplest argument one can make.

So either...

1. They take Lokius to full narrative completion with explicit canon, as they should and as I expect them to,

2. Loki's desire for a real love is left unfulfilled, open-ended, and/or made clear through subtext that it's Mobius.

Those are the options, if you ask me!

This is aside from how Lokius’ love story is now even at the core of the show’s themes and plot, which is an insanely strong vote in favor for their future canonicity.

But for the purposes of this post, I’m talking about whether we'll get explicit romance specifically, like a love confession or a kiss – and I do actually genuinely think we'll get both of those things. I'm not trying to force you to agree with me, but just to be clear, that's where I'm at with it and have been since 2021 lol.

So in regards to worrying about Loki/Sylvie...

They were never really a romance (yes, even in season 1) and they sure as hell aren't now. I can’t imagine they'll become one even IF Lokius is left subtextual.

So what actually remains to be seen is if the writers got to go all the way with Lokius, or if that central queer love story was censored on some level in the end.

My hot take is no one should be ~worrying~ about Sylki at this stage of the game. Free yourselves, people.

If the story starts abruptly going in a Sylki direction, even with only 3 episodes left, I will certainly be the first to say so lol. But I simply sincerely, truly doubt that'll happen.

(Hot take in the footer: this is not the post to get into this at length, but in case this comes up… In this house we do not use the word "queerbaiting." It is a useless, nearly-meaningless, insufferable term that devalues the legitimacy of subtext and queercoding more often than not; it's rooted in the idea that media must hit arbitrary and inconsistent checklists often set with cishet approval in mind; and it perpetuates a focus on the false and harmful myth that many creators are "cowards" instead of leaving room for nuance and the fact that industry censorship still exists.)

#in theory: either we win or we REALLY fucking win.#felt worth posting this little disclaimer since some people are starting to actually see my meta over here?? which is new. hi #how many times can I remix and expand upon my old words from twitter to make a larger tumblr post? the limit does not exist #loki meta #lokius meta #loki #loki show #loki series #chars loki posts #lokius #meant for this post to be shorter. F #I'm not even done crossposting all my meta from last night yet. sorry to all my tumblr followers

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it-one-line-at-a-time · 5 months ago

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hi you gave the go ahead on sending you reddie asks so uhhhhh hi im here now

the losers club is one giant love heptogon. like poly qpr with romantic subsets

because everyone loved bev romantically and vice versa (cough cough sewer sex scene cough)

and richie loved eddie but he also had a crush on mike and definitely thought ben was hot (voiced this himself) and he has self worth issues and hides his insecurities with jokes (insecure hes bi so makes im-so-straight jokes, insecure hes ugly so makes im-so-hot-and-deffinatly-pull jokes) and even if hes stupid people love him because they KNOW why hes like that so thet play into it to make him feel better BECAUSE THEY LOVE HIMMMMM

and ben has always been just this little socially awkward idiot filled with love and definitely loved everyone in the losers club and hes emotional and i personally think hes arospec and feels unreasonable amounts of intense platonic love, to the point he mixes it up with romantic love (like me!!)

and mike definitely thinks hes not enough if he doesn't help people. he thinks if he doesn't help everyone around him hes useless and unloveable but at the same time only cares about the opinion of people hes deemed important (people that can hurt him and his friends) so of COURSE he helps his friends and hes the guy who keeps them safe (assuring they have weapons, making sure everyone is present and accounted for, ect) and everyone else loves him because hes there when they need protection and thats enough<33333333

and everyone loves bill to. how could you not hes just a stuttering dumbass little baby that need protected. plus he loves his friends for being there when he needed it (when georgie died, ect)

and eddie worrys about all his friends safety because they might be dumb and disease ridden assholes but there HIS dumb disease ridden assholes. and everyone loves eddie because hes like a weird overbearing jerk and he CARES. he CARES about there safety and no one else does.

and stan. he has some form of religous guilt. so when he found people that thought of him as stan and not stan the jewish kid he was over the moon. and everyone loves stan because even though he has his issues theyd NEVER leave him

sorry im just really fucking mentally ill and think my gay children need hugs and that my old man yaoi should have been allowed to be happy (reddie fix it fics save me. reddie fix it fics. save me reddie fix it fics)

Yikes, this got longer than I'd expected. Buckle in.

I read the sewer scene for the first time at school surrounded by my friends, and I think it was the one time I've read something that genuinely horrified me so much that I couldn't bring myself to be over-the-top scared of it to be funny. I have a younger brother who's turning eleven soon and the thought of it makes me wanna take a bath, if you know what I mean!!! Hm.

Also you are SO right about the Losers all loving each other. Yeah, there's the romantic pairings - Richie + Eddie, Bev + Bill (at least as kids) - but honestly they all love each other sooooo much it's kinda crazy. I'm kind of obsessed with how they conveyed how much they care for Richie in particular to the films - when he's crying after Eddie's death and they all hug him and he's like, 'Hm? They know I'm gay, and they still love me?', and he looks down at them genuinely confused for a moment - because it's so subtle but my God it's done so sweetly.

Speaking of sweet, HELL yeah Ben loved them all! My boy literally has love rolling off him like Sisyphus' boulder off the mountain. Whether it's platonic or romantic is personal opinion, but literally nobody can dispute that after Bill and Eddie (and Richie, in the film) took him into the Losers Club, he fucking adored them, man. Of course he loves Bev, that's kind of the most given thing to ever be given, but to be honest I think both he and Mike are the most symbolic of the Losers' love, because they were outsiders who found their family within the group.

Talking of Mike, he is the personification of 'the glue that holds the group together'. Literally, yes, when he calls them back to reunite after twenty-seven years, but you're right that it's in more subtle ways, too; the way he has the bolt-gun and ammunition, the way he is willing to sacrifice himself in the movie because he knows he messed up big time. And that last bit, too, is one of the biggest pieces of evidence in my opinion about your theory, dear asker who is definitely not a raccoon in disguise, that he feels inadequate if he doesn't actively protect the group. But they love him for it! <3

Ahhh, Billiam my boy. The one that every one of the Losers was genuinely a little bit in love with. The one who would not only readily die for any one of them, but who would die for a random kid with a skateboard who's only ever been rude to him! Of course in the book it is explored how much Georgie's death really affected him, of course it was, but that scene in Chapter 1 where he finds Georgie's raincoat and the Losers all just hug him without saying anything while he sobs is so fuckin' special, man. And that's the Losers Club, them all together, unconditional love and respect and love and love.

Eddie hiding how much he adores his friends under a mask of worry and ill-tempered arguments is genuinely such a lovely character trait. It doesn't take a genius to see that "You guys know that alleys are known for dirty needles that have AIDS, right? You guys do know that?" is a masked-up version of "Guys please don't go into that alley, I don't want you cutting yourself and getting this awful and scary disease going around". It's literally just him saying, in his own little way, I fucking love you guys, don't get hurt, and taking it upon himself to keep them all safe forever. Bill's "He'd be looking out for us... the way he always was." is in NO way lost on me, man.

One thing the book did that I thought was so so good and so so interesting was looking at religious guilt, through Patty, but it's not difficult to imagine that it extends to Stan, too. I swear there are some points - usually from characters like Henry Bowers' points of view - where Stan is kind of just, 'the Jewish one' (like how Richie is the loudmouth, and Ben is the fat one), so I reckon you're definitely right that when the Losers got to know him as Stanley Uris, rather than 'the Jewish kid', it was probably like a huge weight off his shoulders. And that's one of the reasons that he loves his disjointed little group, because they were the first to accept him and his religion as one.

Anyway, yes, the Losers love each other and they would die for each other and I would die for them please and thank you.

(Also, I agree that Reddie fix-it fics were put onto earth by God Themself.)

#one-line's answers #eddie my love by the chordettes started playing when i was doing eddie's segment :]

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lustlovehart · 1 month ago

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I usually struggle with writing/commenting on anything, but I gotta. The monster!AU, that Malleus piece? Fucking gold. I absolutely loved it. I don't know how often I reread it. Likely seriously. It's so good. I love your writing style, I love how you portrait Malleus as absolutely infatuated but still as a (powerful) monster who, well, does monster things. En mass, since he's so powerful.

I'd love to see more of the Monster!AU (especially Diasomnia, I'm a sucker for them), but I also just wanna say I'm gonna read whatever you post anyway.

Love your work, I hope you're doing well and have a fun spooky month ahead of you!

People really reread my stuff that much?!?! IM HONORED.

Honestly, I really thought the Malleus piece would only get like, 100 notes as it was on the older side. I did go back and add more to it though, so that might be why it got more traction than expected 😭.

My writing style for Monster!Twst is basically just a constant, “How do I make it sound romantic enough for everyone to understand their interest“ and “how do I make them crazy murderers?“

Malleus and Readers dance was probably one of my favorite ways to show it! (There was also something simialr to it in the Incubus!Vil piece, but its a bit more subtle compared to Malleus. This next paragraph is just gonna be me blabbing about Hard Stoned Gallery Dance guys!)

I tried to show MH!Darling’s lack of awaraness of the danger he imposes in the dance! Throughout the whole thing they’re sloppy, essentially relaxed as each step they take is messy, but still lands where they’re meant to. Menwhile, in the complete opposite of the spectrum is Malleus, who is quite literally serandaing you with praise and kisses, while performing the dance with perfection.

It shows how oblivous reader can be about the danger they let run rampant into the world, and said danger lovingly holding them in his arms.

Until you smell the foul stentch, and the disposition changes immediately. You become rigid with worry, while Malleus’s gentle grip becomes harsh, movments becoming swift amd sharp with no time to reciporocate.

I’m sorry about that ramble, but i wanted to gush about the one part I liked about the fic (≧◡≦) ♡

Don’t worry! Ive stated before there will be a lot more Monster!Twst to come, especially with it being halloween season (￣▽￣) (I have like 3 requests for the Au, The Heartslaybul chapter, and one extra post with a potential thought of Fellow and Skully!)

Speaking of Diasmonia, all the dorms play a heavy part in the story, but! They’re actually a bit more of special case! similar to the actually storyline in twst, I wanted to make it so Diasmonia was basically a mystery factor within the plot, so, they may or may not be some parts where they’re mentioned, or possibly, even there...!

Whether you read only Monster!Twst or my other stuff, i’m happy you spend time out of your day enjoying my writing! Thank you for your kinds words, and I hope you have a very sppoky october too!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

#askves #sweeties deeties

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tokiro07 · 4 months ago

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Undead Unluck ch.216 thoughts

[UU Can't Touch This]

(Contents: speculation - Untouchable, character analysis - Tatiana/Fuuko/Chikara, predictions - arc climax)

Untouchable's Delay

Okay, so Untouchable is manifesting at the fashion show after all. I guess it would be anticlimactic to just have it...not happen after all of the prep everyone's done, plus it would be painfully obvious that it was going to manifest on her birthday immediately after if it didn't happen here, so I guess it works out for the best

We also got a little bit of insight into why Untouchable didn't manifest on Tatiana's fifth birthday in this loop: as we seem to be playing by Butterfly Effect rules, Tatiana's TV happened to be on during her birthday party and there happened to be a fashion show airing at that moment. This not only distracted Tatiana from the emotions she was feeling getting her favorite cake, but also established a new benchmark for how happy she could potentially become in the future

In seeing the fashion show, Tatiana spontaneously developed her dream to become a model and perform in that very show. In doing so, her mental state went from "the happiest she's ever been" to "looking forward to the moment where she will be the happiest she's ever been." More succinctly, she went from being unable to imagine being happier to being able to imagine it, effectively resetting the mousetrap in her soul until she managed to attain that happiness

If anyone is unsatisfied with the idea that this was just a coincidence, that the TV just happened to be on and Tatiana just happened to become entranced by it, I think I can assuage your concerns just a little. If you recall, Nico was not a smoker in L100, is one in L101; this is because his soul was clinging to the memory of Ichico, even if his current body had no knowledge of her; this same logic can easily be applied to Tatiana being drawn to fashion, as she longed to be able to wear clothes in L100. Simply seeing the fashion show was enough to rekindle that element of her soul, even if she didn't actively remember why it would matter to her. The TV still might have been a coincidence, but Tatiana's snap decision was anything but arbitrary

Untouchable's Manifestation

As Untouchable was delayed by Tatiana's dream, it makes the most sense for it to be triggered by the realization of that dream, though that once again brings up the question of why it almost manifested at Revolution Square a few chapters ago. Until stated otherwise, I choose to believe that this is the proof that the trigger can go either direction, as now it's being tripped by the realization of her dream while before it was almost tripped by the realization that her dream isn't what she actually wanted. Whether Tatiana's dream was torn from her or if she abandoned it herself, the whole point of the mousetrap system is to target the moment when the impact of that loss would be felt the most heavily. I've already covered this topic in the previous two posts, though, so I don't want to keep prattling on about it

Instead of continuing to worry about how Untouchable could have manifested, I'd like to focus on how it did manifest. If in L100 Tatiana was happy because of her parents and lost them to her ability, it makes perfect sense for our first glimpse of L101's Untouchable to be it ripping apart the dress that represents her dream at the seams

Watching her dress fly apart in pieces is itself a very nice aesthetic choice as it calls to mind how Sphere would disassemble when Tatiana used UT Area Voluntary Release. Fuuko tightening the dress to the point of hurting Tatiana's ribs further emphasizes this, as just like Sphere, this gives the impression that Untouchable is overcoming great pressure to activate, therefore having a much more forceful expansion (at least symbolically)

Tatiana and Fuuko

Speaking of, Fuuko being willing to tighten the dress for her at the risk of harming her builds on the dynamic that the two of them established back in L100. Fuuko not only was willing to jump onto Sphere as it was exploding, but she also was the only one not to treat Tatiana like she was different while inside it. Fuuko never coddles Tatiana, never walks on eggshells around her, she just treats her normally and cheerfully

Fuuko knows exactly how tough Tatiana is, the kinds of things she's able to withstand physically and emotionally, so if Tatiana says "tighten the dress," Fuuko's not going to fret about whether what she wants is "bad" for her. It's the choice that she made, and Fuuko's going to support it; honestly, that's the entire point of L101 anyway, to give agency back to the individual and not leave it in the hands of others or a flippant God

Tatiana's assessment that, out of everyone present, Fuuko likes her the most is pretty accurate as Fuuko is arguably the only one who actually sees her for who she is. She knows her interests and her insecurities, and is therefore best able to predict and adjust for her behaviors, even considering the differences between her current and past selves. This truth carrying over from L100 is why, despite how suspicious Fuuko's total inability to explain things properly is, Tatiana is able to trust Fuuko so readily. The same was true with Nico as well, further evidencing the influence of the soul's previous vessel on the current

Chikara's Photos

Fuuko's understanding of Tatiana is also why she can predict that Tatiana will treasure Chikara's photos, as she knows Tatiana is the type of person to look back fondly on what was rather than to hold resentment for its loss

To some, reminiscing about the past is wholly painful, but for the majority of the UU cast, being able to hold onto something tangible eases the burden, whether it's Nico burying Ichico's emblem in his hand or Rip filling his earings with Leila's spilled blood. If Tatiana is unable to wear clothes ever again because of Untouchable, being able to see Chikara's high-quality photos surviving as proof that her dream came true would definitely serve Tatiana's heart better than wallowing in pity that she'll never get another chance to make it come true

Chikara did the same thing for Fuuko too, as even after the populace of the high school lost their memories of the Union, his photos serve as proof that Fuuko attended and graduated, having the chance at the normal life she always dreamed of. Fuuko has firsthand experience of how powerful the memories captured in Chikara's photos are, so naturally, she wants to share that with Tatiana, to help Chikara give Tatiana the same joy he gave to her (and in the process, playing Cupid again)

Predictions

I also think that the photo he takes in this last moment as the Union turns Tatiana's tragedy into part of the show will end up being the catalyst to Tatiana reevaluating Untouchable. Like I said last week, I think that she's going to learn to shape Untouchable with her soul and use it to create clothes for herself (or something to that effect), and I think what she sees here will be the inspiration for that

My guess is that Gina is going to use Unchange to mold the smoke, which technically can't "touch" Tatiana anyway, into a dress that far outstrips any that we just saw, and with the angle that Untouchable holds her, she'll be in the perfect position for a stunning photo by Chikara

I'd like it if Billy finds a way to contribute to that too, maybe using Unchange in his own way to complement Gina's, but I'm not very well equipped to predict that. Billy's mere presence is probably enough to help reestablish his dynamic with Tatiana, but I do hope we get a little more to go off of considering how long we've been waiting for this specific reunion

Now, I'm gonna be at Otakon when the next chapter comes out, so I don't know if I'll be able to read it as soon as it comes out like usual, but I'm sure it'll be a nice little cap to my weekend!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

#undead unluck #fouryearsandananime #4y1a reviews

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thevegandarkelf · 21 days ago

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Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Thirty-Six: Epilogue

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Thank you to everyone who has come along on Lydia's journey with me. Looking back on all the late nights and hours upon hours I poured into this makes me emotional. Thank you for every single note. They all mean the world to me. The fact that people were interested enough in my work to interact with it is still mind-blowing to me. Writing this healed something in me, and I hope, if you needed it, that it healed something in you too. Just because this story is over doesn't mean I'm done writing with these two. I have more planned for them.

I’ve had several people tell me they cried after reading this so maybe have a box of tissues nearby idk.

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

Legolas & Lord of the Rings (c) J.R.R. Tolkien, Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, mention of nightmares, mention of past rape, mentions of major character death (Glenn, Eric, Carl), mention of panic attacks, vomiting, there’s a dead body and a decapitated head in this one, mention of: scars, grief, blood, gun violence, maybe a little gore

Word count: 10k

Life in Alexandria was going pretty smoothly. We'd become friendly with some of the surrounding communities—Hilltop and the Kingdom, primarily—and our own community continued to grow stronger. Our food supply was steady, weapons were on hand, and more people had joined us. We were successfully preparing for the coming winter months, where getting food from the garden wouldn't be possible. I made new friends and became closer with the ones I had before. And I had the most handsome man on the planet all to myself.

Eventually, I had my first nightmare-free night of sleep.

I woke up the following morning feeling more rested than I had in a long time. I rolled over to see that Daryl was already awake, and he immediately told me I'd slept through the night without stirring even once. It came out almost like word vomit, like it was an exciting secret that he couldn't hold in anymore. He scooped me up in his arms and held me tight, telling me over and over again how damn proud of me he was. I cried a lot of happy tears.

Mine and Daryl's relationship continued to blossom. We spent a lot of time together, practically joined at the hip, as Aaron had put it. Wherever one of us was, you could typically find the other close by. It was a dream to come home to him each night and cozy up before falling asleep. I woke up every morning somehow more in love with him than I was the day before. I'd even written hypothetical wedding vows. I hoped to be able to read them one day, whether that was at the end of an aisle in front of our friends and family or across from each other alone at the kitchen island. And I learned that all of those Rick-ordered runs we went on back before officially getting together were orchestrated by Daryl, hence why I never heard about them from the mouth of our fearless cowboy leader. He had gone to Rick shortly after I arrived and asked if he could take me on a couple of runs under the guise of "she's a doctor, she knows what medical supplies to look for." And it snowballed from there.

I still worried about him every time he went out on the road for more than a day, maybe even more so now, but I knew he'd always come back. Daryl was tough, and the life he'd lived prior to the apocalypse had prepared him for it. If anyone was going to be the last man standing, it was him.

Our relationship wasn't perfect, of course. No one's was. We had our arguments, just like any other couple, but we prioritized never going to bed angry and staying up as late as we needed to to work it out. Sometimes we'd need space, but we'd always come together after and talk through things.

That took some getting used to for Daryl. Given the environment he grew up in, where people got in each other's faces and screamed until their throats were raw, I understood that he was used to handling conflict very differently than I was. It took a lot of practice and a lot of patience on my part, but over time, we cultivated an open line of communication, and it was a beautiful thing. It allowed us to become closer and get to know each other even better.

One aspect of becoming closer was continuing to learn new things about each other. The most surprising thing I learned about Daryl was that he was a virgin.

Part of my healing journey was getting comfortable discussing sex again. I was talking about my history before the world fell, sharing past experiences and being candid about how many partners I'd had, some of the things I was into, etc. When I asked Daryl about his, he danced around the question, dodging it every time I tried to circle back. Someone as gorgeous as he was had to have been very sexually experienced, I thought, so I didn't understand why he wouldn't even just share how many partners he'd had. Eventually, he came clean, saying he was worried I might think he wouldn't be able to satisfy me if I knew how inexperienced he was. Not only was he a virgin, but it had been quite a long time since he kissed someone before me.

"So when you said it'd been a while since you kissed someone..."

"Had a first kiss when I's a kid, if ya could even call it that. Was worried what ya might think if I told ya earlier."

Like any of that would change how I felt about him.

After lots of time working through my shit, a lot of talking, and a lot of tears, I was able to...give him what I never thought I could.

It was a long, slow process, and there were times when I didn't think I would get there. I beat myself up a lot, especially if we started and had to stop. I wanted so badly to experience him in that way, but my body and mind wouldn't allow it. I felt like a broken toy that would never work again, and I hated myself for robbing him of that level of intimacy and pleasure. Regardless of how frustrated I was with myself about it, Daryl was nothing but a saint. He never made a big deal out of it, never made me feel anything less than safe and cared for. He told me again and again not to push myself "just so's he could get his rocks off." Anything I needed, he was on it, never putting up a fight or making me think, even for a second, that I was burdensome in any way. He didn't care about having to wait or stop. All that mattered to him was that I was alright. His support was one of the main reasons I was able to make it through my healing journey in the first place.

Daryl even developed a plan for when I would get triggered. If I needed to stop mid-act, he'd ask if I wanted to climb under the covers or get dressed first, then ask if I wanted to cuddle or take a minute alone. If I wanted to get dressed first, he'd step out and give me space to do so. If I wanted to cuddle, he'd climb into bed with me and wrap us up in the covers, pulling me as close to him as physically possible. He'd either rub my back or massage my scalp, all the while reminding me that I was safe, he was there, and there was nothing to be afraid of. Since I found his voice so comforting, sometimes he'd tell me a story or bring up one of his favorite memories with me, anything to keep himself talking. If I was so overwhelmed that I wasn't sure what I wanted, he'd get me my blanket and some water, leave for a couple of minutes, then come back and check in with me again. He hadn't needed to step out and come back more than once a session, but I knew he would do it as many times as I needed.

It was a journey for him too. Everything we tried was a first for him, and I got to teach him how to do it all. And he learned quickly. One of the perks of teaching him was not having to work against some silly notions planted in his head by other men who thought they knew what women liked. Learn what women like from a woman, what a novel concept. It was beautiful to bond with him like that, to get to learn each other's bodies in the most intimate way and experience each other at our most vulnerable.

The first time we made it all the way through, I cried afterward. Not because I was triggered or anything bad happened, but because I was so proud of myself and, truthfully, just how amazing it was. Poor Daryl thought he'd done something wrong, only reassured once I was giggling and kissing him all over his face.

Unfortunately, life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows forever.

When the Saviors came, we lost a lot of good people...including Glenn. Maggie's cries haunted my dreams for weeks after, her screams permeating my most peaceful moments. My heart ached for her. I couldn't even begin to fathom the pain she was experiencing.

As we all waited with bated breath in those dark, eerie woods, the man called Negan snapped at one of the men on the sidelines, gesturing for him to hand something to him. The man stepped away and came back, handing something off to Negan. Negan held the thing up, asking "which one of us creatives was responsible for this little art piece." Upon seeing what he was holding, I involuntarily began vomiting, doubling over and spitting out chunks, some of it catching in my hair.

It was a head. Adam's head, with the vibrator still in his eye socket and his flesh so decayed, his jaw was almost falling off. Turns out Adam had been a Savior.

Negan took my reaction as confirmation that I was the responsible party, a sick smirk stretching across his lips as he snapped at another few men to bring out something else. "You do this too?" he asked as two men brought out Adam's body, the sleeves of his shirt and the majority of his pants cut off to expose his surgical scars. I continued to vomit, absolutely humiliated, both from having to see Adam's body again and from everyone having to see the word ‘rapist’ carved into his forehead and knowing I was the one that put it there.

He approached me, lifting my chin with the cap of his bat to look him in the eyes. He was...impressed. Really impressed. He saw what I could do, and he wanted me to join them. I would never join him, and despite him asking me to, I think he knew that. I was lucky my face didn't become closely acquainted with Lucille.

After Daryl punched Negan in the face and Glenn was killed, he was taken and thrown into their van. I screamed as I watched him get pulled away, falling forward as my body gave out and landing in my own vomit. My chest was on fire, and my eyes were so clouded with tears that everything in front of me was a blur. Had my body not felt gelatinous, I would've leaped off the ground and punched Negan myself.

"Thanks for getting rid of this one," Negan said, tossing the head behind him blindly somewhere in the dark.

After Daryl was abducted, I was a complete wreck, hardly able to eat or sleep, terrified that I would never see him again. I slept on the couch, as looking at the empty space in our bed next to me was too much to bear. Maggie and I spent a lot of time together, leaning on each other for support during our time of grief. There was one afternoon when I cracked a joke, not thinking I would get any type of reaction, but it pulled a small smile from her, and that warmed my heart to see.

When Daryl and I were reunited, we clung to each other and cried, afraid that if we let go, the other would slip away again. That was the first time I'd ever seen Daryl cry. It broke me to see him crumble like that, knowing how much pain he was in. I wanted Negan to pay, not only for the trauma he and his men had inflicted on my little Georgia peach, but for ripping my friend from this world in such a violent manner, and in front of his wife no less. I wanted Negan to suffer.

The Scavengers were a force to be reckoned with. Rick convinced their leader, Jadis, to ally with us to fight the Saviors, but they eventually went behind our backs and ratted us out to Negan and his men. We allied with the nearby communities, Oceanside being the most recent addition, and even some former Saviors, to form The Militia, joining forces with only one thing in mind—destroy the Saviors.

There was an all-out war, and with war comes blood. Lots of blood. Lots of lives lost, lots of damage done. Alexandria would have to be rebuilt, but our people were strong and I knew, ultimately, we would be ok.

Eric's death shattered Aaron. He'd caught a bullet and eventually succumbed to his injury. and poor Aaron had to come across him as a walker. I knew that pain all too well, and I tried my best to be there for him as much as I could. My friends were being taken out one-by-one. It wasn't fair.

Carl's death was another moment that tore everyone to shreds. He'd hidden his bite until he couldn't hide it anymore, and knowing that another precious, kind soul was taken from us was heartbreaking, though heartbreaking didn't seem like a strong enough word. Carl had written letters to some people before his death, and I was one of the lucky individuals who received one. He thanked me for everything I'd done, all the time I spent answering his questions, and for caring for his sister and making sure she was healthy. I added the letter to the collection at the back of my notebook, and Daryl held me while I cried hysterically all night.

Being a trauma surgeon, I'd treated many of the types of injuries people were dealing with. I beat myself up whenever we lost someone in a way that I could've prevented. Daryl always assured me it wasn't my fault, telling me not to blame myself for not being able to save everyone. I was only one person, I couldn't do it all.

And then, there was Rick's disappearance.

The silence that followed the bridge explosion was almost more deafening than the explosion itself. Michonne's screams and everyone's crying still haunt me, and it makes me emotional if I think about it for too long. We explored the area around the bridge, expecting to find his body, whether whole or in pieces, or maybe some of his belongings, but we didn't find anything. There was no sign that he had been there. I don't know how he could've made it out of there alive, but that was the only explanation.

After he went missing, Daryl made it his mission to find him. He tried to convince me to stay behind, wanting me to be safe by staying within the walls, but I wasn't going to let him look for his best friend by himself. Plus, Rick had become like a father figure to me. If he was out there, I wanted to help find him.

Six years. A total of six years we spent looking for him and found...nothing. The one thing we did find was Dog, a friendly German Shepard who joined us on our journey. He was a wonderful companion, making me smile whenever things seemed hopeless. Sometimes, when Daryl would actually sleep, which wasn't often as he preferred to stay awake to keep me safe, I'd sit and talk to Dog. I'd vent my frustrations and ask for advice, even though I knew he couldn't answer. Having a dog around was wonderful. However, he wasn't the only dog we acquired.

While out on the road, we came across a sweet little French bulldog. She was black as night with a small white patch on her chest. She was digging through a pile of something, probably scrounging for food. Upon hearing us, she poked his head up, intrigued when she laid eyes on Dog. Daryl held him back as he began barking at the bulldog, trying to calm him down as he only continued to get more excited. I knelt down, and she came bounding over to me, the tags on her collar jingling as she laid on her back and rolled around, demanding belly rubs. I flipped the top tag over, and my face lit up when I read her name.

"Daryl...her name's Delilah."

"Ain't that your childhood dog's name?"

"Yes! It's a sign, we have to keep her."

"Thought ya didn't believe in none o' that."

"Normally I don't. C'mon Daryl, please? Look at that face. How can you say no to that sweet little face?"

"Ya talkin' 'bout yours or hers?"

He was hesitant at first, as having one dog had proven to be a lot, but he had a hard time saying no to me. The way she and Dog were bonding so effortlessly, and how happy she was already making me in just the few minutes since finding her, he couldn't strip that joy away from me. So Delilah joined us, bringing our family to a total of four.

Amongst all the death, we were gifted with new life. Maggie had her baby, naming him Hershel Jr, after her father. He looked so much like his dad. It was like having a little piece of Glenn back with us. Michonne also gave birth to a little boy, giving Judith another brother and naming him RJ, Rick Grimes Jr. Aaron took on the task of caring for a baby girl named Gracie, treating her as if she were his own. Even Rosita had a baby, and precious Socorro joined the family as well. More kids that I got to be an auntie to. I had no complaints about that.

After returning to Alexandria, we discovered Negan had been captured, living in that tiny little cell I'd woken up in all those years ago. Good. Let the man rot in there for all I cared. Judith convinced Michonne to search for Rick, and she and RJ were put in mine & Daryl's care. They'd both grown so much in the time we'd spent away, and it was a pleasure to get to know these blossoming humans. There were curious things, Judith especially. She asked a lot of questions, and her curiosity knew no bounds. She asked medical questions, asked about my life before this, and even about my family.

"I know my mom's gonna find my dad. I hope you find your dad too," she'd told me.

One of my favorite memories was from an afternoon I spent with her and RJ. RJ was playing with some of the other kids, running around and playing tag or God knows what, and Judith wanted to stay on the sidelines with me while I picked flowers. I was surprised, as she was a feisty little thing and wasn't afraid to get down and dirty playing games with the boys. I learned later that she had an ulterior motive.

All these years later, everyone still only knew me as Vec or Vector, and Daryl still called me Vec in front of others. But there were a few nights where she overheard Daryl call me by my name, and being the speculative kid she was, she had to know why.

"Why does Daryl call you Lydia?" she asked, twirling one of the small flowers in her fingers.

"Because that's my name," I explained. She peered up at me from under the brim of her father's hat, and I could practically see the smoke pouring from her ears as the gears of her inquisitive mind shifted around.

"Why does everyone else call you Vec?" I looked up for a moment to make sure RJ was still in my line of sight before bringing my gaze back to hers.

"That's the nickname I like to go by," I answered. I could feel the series of questions that were coming.

"Why does he get to call you by your name?" she inquired, a hint of jealousy in her voice. I sighed and half-jokingly rolled my eyes. Kids sure ask a lot of questions, don't they?

"Because I love him." I could feel my cheeks turning a faint pink. Even after years of being with him, I still gushed and blushed when talking about him.

"Don't you love me too?" She hung her head slightly, sadness beginning to slip into her voice.

I laughed softly under my breath and squatted down to her level, picking a flower and handing it to her. "Of course I do, my angel. But there's different types of love." I picked a flower for myself, stroking the soft petals. "I love you the way your parents do, the way Maggie loves Herschel Jr. & Aaron loves Gracie. I love Daryl the way your parents love each other."

Her face lit up, and there was a curiosity in her eye. "How did you meet him?"

"Well, my dear," I said, sitting down next to her and crossing my legs, "you were just a wee baby when I showed up at Alexandria for the first time..."

The Whisperers might've been the most terrifying. "Skin jobs," as some had taken to calling them. They showed up around the time we returned to Alexandria, wearing walker skin and creeping around with the nasty things. Their horde was insane. They'd gathered thousands of walkers, keeping them on standby like some sick weapon. They terrorized us, one of them infiltrating our community and poisoning our water supply. Daryl took on a leadership role in Rick's absence. I was proud of him for stepping up and bringing people back together after Rick's disappearance tore everyone apart.

The war with the Whisperers was long and catastrophic. We lost Hilltop and the Kingdom, and ultimately, Alexandria. We would rebuild, just like we always did, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the peaceful days we had back when I first arrived there. Negan was even let out of his cell to infiltrate the Whisperers and take them down from the inside. I hated Negan, but he was a charismatic guy, I had to give him that. I could see why people might like him despite everything he'd done & everything, and everyone, his previous group had taken from us. And he was incredibly manipulative, so he was able to get close to them easily enough. The one good thing Negan did was kill Alpha, bringing her head to Carol once the task was completed. Alpha's daughter, Lydia, joined us, helping to take down her mother's horde once and for all.

It took a while for Lydia to get comfortable around everyone. She was most comfortable around Daryl, as they had similar childhoods & he could understand what she'd gone through in a way the rest of us couldn't. She didn't talk to me much at first, avoiding me as much as possible and hardly looking at me. I assumed she didn't like me, but when I told Daryl that, he laughed.

"She thinks you're super cool," he told me, "talks 'bout wantin' to be a badass like ya."

I racked my brain for ideas and came to the conclusion that finding a way to relate to Lydia, even a little, might help her. I didn't tell her exactly what happened to me before arriving at Alexandria, but I did explain that it was something awful. I assured her I wasn't perfect, I had my flaws and my history, but that didn't make me any less of a badass. I had one other idea up my sleeve that might make her smile and help her bring out the badass I knew she had lying within herself.

"Can I tell you a secret? You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Umm, ok. I promise."

"My name's Lydia too."

Then, there was our arrival at the Commonwealth.

It was strange being back in my home state after so many years. We were interrogated by different people, asking about our history, where we came from, what we did before the outbreak, etc. Eventually, Daryl and I were pulled into an office together where we met the infamous Lance Hornsby.

Lance was the Deputy Governor, second-in-command to Pamela Milton. He was a charismatic guy, and for the most part, people seemed to like him. He had a sense of ambition about him, and he seemed to want the best for the Commonwealth and everyone in it, but I wasn't buying it. Something about him made my stomach queasy, but I couldn't put my finger on it. He gave me uncanny valley vibes.

"One of you is a doctor?" he asked. I hesitantly raised my hand and bit my lip, like there was somehow a correct answer and I was worried about getting it wrong, despite the fact that I was the doctor in the room. "What kind of doctor are you?"

"I'm a trauma surgeon," I replied, lowering my hand and steadying my voice to appear more confident than I was feeling, "amputations, bullet wounds, skin grafts, I've done it all."

Lance laughed. "What are you, 35? You're a little young to be a surgeon, aren't you?"

"That's flattering, but I'm 42. Smart of you to guess younger," I chuckled, "I had almost completed my residency when the world went to shit. I was a couple of months from board certification. You met Aaron, right? The guy with the fake foot and arm?" He nodded. "I did both of those with no medical equipment."

"She's done a hell of a lot more than just that," Daryl interjected.

"Get Tomi in here," Lance ordered, waving to a man by the door, "now!"

A few minutes later, another man was brought in, who I guessed was Tomi. He was wearing plain clothes, but given that it was so important he be retrieved, he had to be a fellow doctor, I presumed. My presumptions were quickly confirmed.

"Dr. Okumura, this woman is claiming to be a surgeon," Lance explained, gesturing to me, "test her."

"Test her?" he inquired, "ok, umm...Dr. Okumura, fellow surgeon. Thoracic. What kind of surgeon are you?"

"Well first, hi. I go by Vec," I introduced, offering him a handshake, to which he reciprocated, "would you prefer I call you Dr. Okumura, or is Tomi ok?"

"For a fellow doctor, Tomi's fine," he replied, a small smile crossing his face.

"Trauma surgery. Was almost finished with my residency at Johns Hopkins ER before all this."

He turned to Lance, seemingly impressed by my credentials. "Lance, that alone is amazing. She got into Johns—"

"I said test her," Lance demanded. Tomi rolled his eyes and sighed, turning back to me.

"You have a patient that shows up on your table. Bullet wound to the abdomen. How do you proceed?"

"Well, what's their history? Is the patient diabetic?" I wondered.

"Why does that matter?" Lance butt in, his impatience becoming ever present in his voice.

"It matters," I corrected. I held my hand up in his direction and closed it, indicating for him to shut his mouth. "Their sugar levels would need to be checked first to ensure they aren't hyper- or hypoglycemic. That would also need to be monitored throughout surgery. And they might need to take antibiotics for longer as they're at a higher risk of infection."

"She's right," Tomi confirmed, "as much of the patient's history as possible needs to be reviewed first before deciding how to proceed." I looked over Tomi's shoulder at Lance, who was pouting in his chair with his arms crossed. I raised my eyebrow and smirked at him.

"So when do I start?"

Everyone was assigned their jobs based on what they did prior to the outbreak. Daryl didn't have much in the way of a career prior to the world falling, but given his combat and survival skills, he was recruited to join the Commonwealth Army. Seeing as doctors were in high demand, I was quickly employed at the hospital, and we were given a cushier apartment. I could tell Daryl was already feeling out of place in such a, what he would deem, 'classy' environment.

"Hey," I assured, "you belong here. You deserve this. Just as much as anyone else."

"All I know's I belong wherever you are," he replied.

We settled into our new home and got the kids set up in school. I was excited that they were getting the opportunity to receive an education, something that I was sure would never be a possibility for them. I got to wear cute little sundresses nearly every day, a simple pleasure that I was grateful to partake in once again. And let's be real, Daryl enjoyed it as well. Many of our friends also made a home in the Commonwealth. It existed in its own bubble, like a little slice of the world that hadn't gone to complete shit. I got to wake up next to Daryl every morning, knowing that he, the kids, and our friends were safe. And after everything we'd been through, that was more than I could ever ask for.

*Third person perspective*

The autumn sun beamed down through the clouds, casting a beautiful glow on the red, orange, and yellow leaves that decorated the surrounding trees. There was a chill in the air, but given that he was always warm, Daryl wasn't concerned about being cold. As a gentle breeze came through, he looked at one of the trees, a small smile breaking out on his lips as he watched the branches sway to and fro. Lydia may have been his ray of sunshine, but this weather reminded him of her most. She's often talked about missing being able to go apple picking, spend an afternoon in a pumpkin patch, and drink warm cider by a campfire. "The most basic bitch thing about me," she would joke, but Daryl never thought it was silly. Lydia found joy in the small pleasures of life, and it was one of his favorite things about her.

Daryl was in his first week of basic training, preparing to join the Commonwealth Army. Not that he needed any training, though. His life out on the road, both pre- and post-apocalypse, had given him all the skills he needed to be successful in his duties. Today, they were out in an abandoned, desolate corner of the Commonwealth, filled with empty, run-down apartment buildings crawling with walkers. They were going to be teaming up and tackling the empty buildings with a single weapon like some sick obstacle course, the walkers being the obstacles.

A man in white armor approached him, giving him a wave before removing his helmet. He set it on the ground next to him, shaking out his hair. He looked familiar, but Daryl knew he'd never seen this man before. Still, there was something about him that he couldn't put his finger on. When he introduced himself, that was when it clicked.

"'Sup man?" he greeted, extending his hand to Daryl, "the name's Jay. Jay Vector."

Daryl froze. There was only one Jay Vector he knew of. This couldn't have been him, could it? But he kind of looked like her...it had to be him.

"Ya got a sister?" Daryl asked, the shock preventing him from returning the handshake. Jay looked stunned and coughed repeatedly, clearing his throat after having choked on his saliva.

"...yeah," he answered cautiously, like he was trying not to get his hopes up, "well, I did. Did you know her?"

"I know her," Daryl corrected. Jay's eyes looked like they were about to burst out of his skull, and he picked his jaw up off the ground. Tears were already beginning to well up in his eyes.

"Know her? Is she here? I—is she alive?" he asked, his voice beginning to quiver. His emotions were fluctuating between the relief that could come from hearing she was safe and alive and preparing for the heartbreak of hearing that she was dead.

"Wait—," Daryl instructed. Before he could finish, Jay took off running for the city center, the sound of his feet pounding the sidewalk drowning out the groans from the walkers in the abandoned buildings.

"Vector!" Mercer called out, but that didn't slow Jay down for even a second.

"I said wait!" Daryl shouted.

"I can't!" Jay shouted over his shoulder, raising his volume the further away he got, "our dad's here! I have to go get him!"

Not only was her brother alive, but her father was too. Lydia was about to be on cloud nine.

"Dixon!" Mercer yelled as Daryl took off toward home. Since he was still in basic training, he knew this stunt could get him in trouble, but he didn't care. At that moment, his only priority was to get to Lydia as fast as possible, to tell her that her family, whom she thought had been dead all this time, was alive.

*end of third-person, back to Lydia's POV*

Today was a day off for me, so I'd taken the opportunity to do some cleaning around the apartment and run some errands. Daryl was at basic training, and Judith and RJ had been asking for days now for a sleepover at Uncle Aaron's, so they were with him for the evening, which gave me the opportunity to work uninterrupted. I loved having them around, but I also needed my alone time now and then.

After returning from the grocery store, I took Dog and Delilah out for their afternoon walk. It was wonderful to have some semblance of a normal routine again after so many years of unpredictability and being out on the road. Being able to regularly go to work, go to the store, see friends, and come home to the love of my life and the kids and our dogs...after everything fell, I never thought I would live life like this again.

We returned from our afternoon walk, and I unclipped them from their leashes. They immediately ran to their respective water bowls, which Judith had decorated to have their names on them. As I hung their leashes by the front door, the sound of the lock clicking caught me by surprise, and in came Daryl, a subtle sheen of sweat on his face and lightly panting as he tried to catch his breath.

"Hey baby," I cooed, pulling him toward me by the collar of his shirt and kissing his jawline, "you're back early."

'Baby' had become a special pet name for us. We only used it in two contexts: one, to indicate to the other that we were in the mood. And two, in bed. Outside of that, Daryl preferred being called 'my little Georgia peach' or 'my love,' and I liked being called 'sunshine' and 'buttercup.' But in a sexual context, 'baby' just rolled off the tongue so naturally. Plus, there was something sexy about having a pet name reserved for the bedroom.

"Later." He picked me up by the waist and set me down in the hallway, eliciting a small, surprised yelp from me. "Someone ya gotta see first."

"What do you mean? The hospital didn't call," I asked as he locked the door behind us. He began ushering me down the hall, an urgency in his step that I'd only seen in true emergency situations. Which of course, admittedly, had me worried.

"Ain't a medical emergency," he said.

"Then where are we going?" I asked, nearly tripping over my feet as we began descending the stairs.

He ignored my question and coaxed me down the steps and out the front door of our building onto the busy street. It was the middle of the day, and everyone was hustling and bustling about, going to and coming from work and gathering their kids from school. The farther we got from our building, the less familiar everything became. I'd hardly had any time to explore all the nooks and crannies of the Commonwealth, so I didn't have a clue as to where we were going.

"Daryl, you're worrying me." I gently tugged on his shirt sleeve to get him to stop, and he turned and looked at me. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

He took my arm and pulled me to the side of the walking path, taking us around the corner of the nearest building so we were secluded in its shadow. Whatever he was going to respond with, he wanted privacy for. Whether it was for the nature of the topic or my potential reaction, I wasn't sure.

"I think ya brother's alive."

The ringing in my ears began before my brain fully processed what he said. My heart rate was escalating quickly, and my skyrocketing blood pressure caused my head to spin. I was almost certain I would pass out. My knees caved in, and I would've collapsed had Daryl not already had his arms around my waist to catch me.

Guess the privacy was for my reaction.

"My what?" My voice was shaking, and tears were already beginning to well up in my eyes and pour over onto my face. I was certain I must've misheard him. "A—a—are you sure?"

"Any other Jay Vector's ya know?" he asked as he helped me steady myself back on my feet. He wiped a few tears off my cheeks and kissed my forehead. "C'mon."

We went back to the walking path, his hand on my lower back as he guided me through the crowded street. I had no idea where to go, but had my legs not felt like jelly, I would've taken off running.

We ended up in a desolate area of the community filled with abandoned buildings, their windows broken open and doors pulled off their hinges. Vines crept up the sides of some of the brick structures, creating beautiful patterns as they worked up and around the textured surface, and the overgrown grass tickled my ankles.

There was a crowd of people up ahead, most of them dressed in casual clothes like Daryl. There were a couple of people in white armor and one man in bright orange armor, who I guessed was the one in charge. I figured this must've been where Daryl was doing his basic training, and everyone, minus those in armor, were his fellow recruits. As we made our way toward the group, some of them turned to us, ignoring the orders of the man in the orange armor. One particularly tall man in white armor caught my attention, and his familiar features immediately sent comfort washing over me. My sharp inhale caught in my throat. and my eyes quickly welled up with tears and clouded my vision. Daryl was right.

There he was, my big brother, in the flesh. Despite seeing him with my own eyes, I almost couldn't believe it.

He was in his mid-40s now, and his usual dark hair had taken on a salt & pepper appearance as he aged. He'd grown a beard, which had the same salt & pepper look as his hair, and he looked well-fed, well-rested, and happy. He clearly had been here for some time. He towered over nearly everyone in the group, aside from the man in the orange armor. Jay was the tallest in our family, even outgrowing his twin. No one knew where his gigantic stature came from.

And next to him was our dad.

He had gone fully gray, the wrinkles on his face telling a story of someone who'd been to hell and back. He was in his mid-60s, but he didn't look frail or fragile by any means. He'd been able to take care of himself. My father wasn't often a man who cried. Not because he thought it wasn't masculine to do so, it just wasn't how he processed his emotions. But upon laying eyes on me, he burst into tears.

I sprinted for them, first nearly tripping over my own feet, then some sidewalk cracks and God knows what else. At the speed I was moving, I was sure I had started floating, no longer feeling my feet as they pounded the sidewalk. I didn't care if I face-planted and ate shit in front of all of these strangers. My brother was alive. My dad was alive. I had already grieved them both years ago, accepted the fact that they were both dead, or if they weren't dead, that I would never see either of them again. But here they were, safe and sound and alive.

"Jay!" I cried out, tears flying off my face as I ran and soaking my hair, "Dad!" Jay ran toward me, arms open and ready to catch me like he'd always done growing up.

I nearly toppled him to the ground as I ran straight into his arms, squeezing him tighter than I ever thought I'd be capable of. Overwhelmed by the familiar comfort of his hug, my legs gave out, and we both fell to the ground. We buried our faces in each other's shoulders and sobbed openly. The cries that came out of me were almost heart-wrenching, but they were cries of joy. Of happiness. Of relief.

"You're alive," Jay whispered, unable to speak louder without his voice breaking, "I can't believe my baby sister's alive."

Another person came and knelt next to us, wrapping their arms around us both. "Lydia, sweetheart," the voice said, "we've missed you." I knew that deep, soothing voice to be that of my dad's, and hearing that nickname he'd only ever used just for me sent me careening into more fits of sobs.

I released one of my arms from around Jay and wrapped it around my father, bringing him in for a group hug. "I thought you were dead," I sobbed, "I thought you were both dead."

In the time we sat there, huddled in a group hug and sobbing into each other, the world outside of us didn't exist. All that existed was our familial bond, the love we had for each other, and the grief that was washing away being replaced with relief and joy and excitement. Years ago, I had accepted that I would never see them again, but that didn't mean I ever lost hope that maybe, just maybe, we would cross paths again. And damn, I was grateful I never gave up that hope.

Jay was the first to pick his head up, wiping tears off his cheeks. He got onto his knees and helped our dad to his feet before doing the same. I followed suit, slowly rising to my feet and steadying myself on my dad's shoulder. The adrenaline pumping through my system was beginning to wear off, and my muscles felt like jelly.

"When did you get here?" Jay asked, rubbing his eyes with his fists, "where have you been?"

I ran my hands through my hair and cleared my throat. "I only got here recently. I was in Virginia for a long time. I wandered around looking for this safe zone and eventually found it. I was hoping maybe I'd find you there, Jay, if you had come out to Maryland looking for me."

"Did you have people with you?" he asked.

"I found...some of the best people I've ever met," I explained, "a lot of them are here now or in other nearby communities." I dropped my eyes to the ground and smiled. "I don't know if I would've made it this long without them."

"Leave it to you to find the best of the best, even in a fallen world," my dad complimented, laughing softly under his breath. He had always admired my ability to surround myself with good people, regardless of the circumstances I found them in.

"Dad, how did you even get back? What happened up there?" I asked. He wiped a tear from my cheek, then his own.

"When we didn't hear anything from our command station for several hours, we knew something was wrong. We reached out again and again and got nothing. It took a lot of effort and thinking on our feet, but we were able to land successfully back in Florida. By that point, everything had fallen, and we had no idea what was going on." He patted Jay on the back. "I was hunkered down at the base with my crew until Jay showed up."

"God, that's scary. I'm so sorry." I couldn't help but think back to the story Rick had told me, how he woke from being in a coma after everything fell & trying to find help in an empty hospital. Being up in space, having no communication with anyone down on Earth, all while knowing something seriously wrong had to be happening...I couldn't imagine the fear he'd experienced.

"We've been here at the Commonwealth since its formation," Jay cut in, "I went to Florida, hoping I could find him, then we made our way back home, hoping we'd find you and Eli."

Upon mentioning home, my father's face lit up, looking hopeful. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me gently. "Eli! What about Eli, is he with you?"

The smile on my face quickly dropped, overtaken by a somber expression. I locked eyes with my father and shook my head, my heart breaking at having to crush his hope and deliver the news that Eli didn't make it.

"No," I choked out, reaching into my jacket pocket, "he, uh...he never made it out of the house that day." I turned my gaze to Jay, my eyes clouded with tears. "I went home to look for you both. He'd...already succumbed to a bite when I found him." I decided to spare them the details of the axe in his shoulder and me having to finish him off.

I pulled a folded-up piece of paper from my pocket, handing it to Jay. "He wrote this before he died. Guess now we can say we fulfilled his last wish." The end of my sentence came out through broken sobs, the words barely coherent. They read over Eli's note, the one I'd kept in the back of my notebook all these years and had recently started carrying on my person.

Jay, Dad, Lydia,

Do what you need to stay alive

Find each other

I love you

Eli

The paper shook in Jay's hands as they scanned over Eli's last words, tears falling from their faces and soaking the letter. My father buried his face in his hands, taking a few deep, shaky breaths. He had a brief moment of hope that his youngest son was alive, and it was crushing to have to destroy that hope. Jay folded the note and handed it back to me.

"I had a feeling he was gone," Jay sighed before a small smile broke out on his face, "y'know, twin telepathy and all that." Jay was the master of comedic relief in tense moments in our family.

I looked back over my shoulder and waved for Daryl to come over. He hadn't moved an inch from his spot, giving me space to reunite with my family, waiting for me to give him permission to join us. He came over, approaching slowly, and stood beside me, placing a hand on my lower back. Daryl was clingy with me, but it wasn't just because of how much he loved me and loved touching me—it was also a comfort thing for him, a grounding activity that helped him when he was feeling hesitant, overwhelmed, or anxious.

"Two of my children are alive," my dad cried, his voice trembling still as he tried to regain his composure. He wrapped one arm around Jay's back and the other one around my shoulders. "In this world, that's more than I could ever ask for." Jay was the first of them to acknowledge Daryl's presence.

"Hey Lydia?" he asked, using his head to gesture to Daryl, "how do you know this guy?"

When Daryl told me Jay was alive, I hadn't even thought about how I would introduce him to my brother. We hadn't gotten married, as up until arriving at the Commonwealth, marriage wasn't a thing, not in the way it used to be at least. There was never a need to refer to each other with titles, as we normally spent our time around people who knew we were together, so introductions weren't necessary. Anytime they were, Daryl had only ever referred to me as his woman, and his introduction of me didn't require any introductions of him on my part. But now it was necessary, and I had to make a split-second decision.

"This is Daryl," I introduced, "he's my—"

"I'm her husband," Daryl interjected.

My what?

I bit the inside of my lower lip to keep my jaw from unhinging onto the ground. I blinked repeatedly, hoping it would stop my eyes from bugging out of my skull. Both my brother and father's faces lit up, and Jay looked like he was about to start jumping for joy.

"Took the words right out of my mouth," I said, gently nudging Daryl with my elbow and smiling to conceal the utter shock coursing through me.

"Oh sweetheart," my dad gushed, bringing me in for another hug. He tilted his head up and spoke to Daryl as he hugged me. "It's wonderful to meet you, Daryl. Thank you for caring for my daughter."

"The honor's all mine, Mr. Vector," he replied.

"Please, call me John. Mr.—"

"Mr. Vector was my father," I mocked in a deep voice. He laughed and playfully elbowed my arm. That was the response my dad always gave any time someone called him Mr. Vector. If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard him say it, I could pay off my, now non-existent, medical school debt.

"How did you two meet?" Jay asked. He was giving Daryl a look-over with his eyes, scanning over him from head to toe. While he was happy for me, I could already feel the protective big-brother energy radiating off of him.

"I cut a guy's foot off," I replied. Daryl chuckled softly under his breath, and Jay and my father each cocked an eyebrow at me. I realized I sounded a little too elated for what I was talking about. "Not Daryl's foot. My friend Aaron's. He got bit. I didn't do it for no reason." I rested my head on Daryl's shoulder and smiled big, reflecting on the happy memories of my early days at Alexandria. "Aaron and Daryl lived in the same community. That's how we met."

"Daryl, do you mind if I take a moment with my daughter?" my father asked, and Daryl shook his head. My dad coaxed me a few steps away, just out of earshot of the others. I knew exactly what was coming.

There was a series of questions my father had made a habit of asking my siblings and me when we started dating someone knew. He started doing it with Preston when he got his first girlfriend in middle school, and it'd been a staple since. He looked at me and smiled, knowing full well that I knew exactly what he was going to ask & there was no need to preface anything.

"Does he treat you well?"

"The best any man ever has."

"Does he make you happy?"

"More than I thought I ever could be."

"Is he good to other people?"

"Yes, unless they don't deserve it."

"I can't wait to get to know him," he replied as we stepped back to join Jay and Daryl. That was the response we always hoped to receive from Dad after he asked his questions. It was his way of giving his blessing, and even as a grown, hyper-independent woman, the little girl in me was still pleased to have my father's approval.

"You two are very similar," I said to Jay, "you're gonna be calling him your new best friend in no time."

"Aww hell yeah!" Jay beamed, holding his hand up for a high-five, which Daryl reciprocated.

"Well, we need to get together. Got a whole decade of life we need to catch up on. Are you two free for dinner tonight?" my dad asked.

"What do you think, Daryl? Can we do tonight?" I inquired, "the kids will be with Aaron." I was immediately kicking myself for my wording choice, my cheeks turning beet red and nearly stumbling over my words as I tried to correct where I imagine their trains of thought were going. "They're not our kids. Well kind of. Not biologically. I didn't birth them."

"Tonight works," Daryl confirmed.

"I can tell you about the girl I'm seeing," Jay said confidently, running a hand through his hair.

"Jay William Vector," I gasped, placing a hand over my chest to feign shock, "a girl?"

"I know, a girl that's into me. Crazy, right?" he laughed, "her name's Rosie. I know you'll love her."

"Dixon! Vector!" the man in the orange armor bellowed.

"Surprised Mercer ain't said shit 'til now," Daryl commented. Ah, so this is the infamous Mercer, I thought.

"Should get back." Jay pulled me in for another hug, this one tighter than the last. "I missed you so much. I'm so glad one of my siblings is alive."

"I missed you too," I echoed.

"I should get back too," my dad said, "I've been helping the science teachers with their curriculums. You should see how the kids' faces light up when I tell them I've been to space."

I chuckled and pulled my father in for another hug. "We'll see you tonight. I can't wait to hear all about it."

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, dad."

"I look forward to getting to know you, Daryl." My dad extended his hand to Daryl for a handshake, which Daryl reciprocated. "My daughter's always been a great judge of character. If she chose you, you must be a good one." With a nod, my dad was off, headed back to his scholarly duties.

"Hey, guys! I have a brother-in-law!" Jay called out as he ran back to the group. He was the goofball of the family, the class clown if you will, and oh, how I'd missed having that energy around.

Once they were both out of earshot, I turned to Daryl, locking eyes with him and folding my arms across my chest. "My husband, huh? When were you planning on telling me this?"

"We'll talk when I get back," he replied, his fingers tracing down my arm to my hand and taking it in his. I could sense he was feeling a bit anxious. I'm sure meeting my family impromptu like that was a little overwhelming, so I didn't press the issue further.

"Well don't be too long now, handsome," I said, giving him a flirtatious smirk and gently squeezing his hand, "your wife's gonna be waiting for you."

Once I was home, I tossed my jacket onto the back of the nearest chair and went to the bathroom. I took my glasses off and set them on the bathroom counter, rubbing my eyes with my fists. I splashed some water on my face and used my dress to clean my glasses before putting them back on. I ran my hands through my hair, fluffing it and brushing the flyaways back in their place.

"Maybe I'm gonna get to read those wedding vows after all," I said to myself.

Daryl returned sometime later, immediately greeted by Dog and Delilah. They bounded over to him, Dog jumping onto his hind legs and Delilah dancing around his feet. He scratched behind Dog's ears as he licked his face. Delilah sat on Daryl's foot, a little habit she had picked up whenever she wanted someone's attention. She'd pop a squat on their foot and stay there until she received the attention she was looking for. He coaxed Dog back on all fours and knelt down to give Delilah some pets. She rolled over onto her back, demanding belly rubs, which were her favorite. I chuckled softly as I watched him play with her, thinking back to how hesitant he was for us to take her on when we first found her. Now, they were the best of friends. After a minute, she rolled over, walking away now that she was satisfied.

"Hey handsome," I greeted, leaning back against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest, "did you get in trouble with your commander?"

"He cooled off once he realized what was happening. Jay didn't get in trouble neither," he replied. He came over to me and closed the space between us, pressing his body to mine and kissing me with such fervor that you'd think we were reuniting after several years rather than just a couple of hours.

"So, that talk we need to have...you've never called yourself my husband before." His hands wandered down my back and around to my hips, his thumbs drawing circles on my hip bones over my dress. I was already beginning to turn red. Even after all these years, Daryl still managed to make me blush the same way he did over a decade ago.

"Once my job got settled, wanted to ask you proper," he explained, kissing my cheek and then my jawline, "save up to get ya a ring 'n whatnot. Ya deserve it." My heart was singing so loud, I was certain Daryl could hear it.

"My love, you could've asked me to marry you with a twig fashioned into a ring and I would've said yes," I smiled, snaking my arms around his neck.

"Get to call ya my wife...kinda hot." One hand remained on my hip, the other traveling down and into the slit of my dress to caress my thigh. He continued to plant sweet, sultry kisses on my jawline before working down my neck, and had Daryl's body weight not been holding me to the wall, I would've crumbled. The man knew my weaknesses.

"Should I start going by Dr. Dixon now?" I asked, biting my lip to contain my fits of giggles.

"Dr....Lydia...Rae...Dixon," he said between planting soft, open-mouthed kisses on my neck, "has a nice ring to it, don't ya think baby?"

"Yeah," I gushed, "I like it." He abruptly stopped the series of kisses and wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me and coaxing me to wrap my legs around him. I ran my fingers up into his hair and buried my face in the crook of his neck. "Daryl, where are we going?"

Like I didn't know the answer.

"Gotta consummate the marriage, right? Ain't that how it works?" he teased.

I leaned back and looked deep into his eyes, my signature big, silly grin spreading from ear to ear. I continued to twirl his chocolate locks in my fingers, playing with them as he carried me to our bedroom.

Way back when everything first went to shit, I thought I would be lucky to find a community of half-decent people. Hell, I thought I'd be lucky to just survive. But I did find a community, one made of the best people I could've asked for to go through this hell with. The best of the best, of course, was the man in front of me holding me around his waist. I wasn't looking for romance after the world fell. Truthfully, I'd given up on that being a possibility. Given all the shit I'd dealt with before walking through the gates of Alexandria for the first time, I was hesitant to even consider it. But then Daryl came into the picture, and everything changed. He'd sat with me while I cried, comforted me after my nightmares, listened to me yap on about the same things over and over again, and was beyond patient with me on all fronts. He'd been there through it all. He'd loved me through it all. I'd found myself again, and in that journey, I found Daryl as well.

"I love you."

"I love ya too."

Taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley

Divider found on Google via searching for stock images

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