#AN: cannot recommend the book of the same name also

[riddlesrose]

the small things he does pt. 3

w/ ace, deuce, jack, silver, kalim, ruggie, epel, lilia & sebek

part one | part two

ace cannot sit in chairs properly. at all. it drives riddle insane but you find it hilarious, he'll have a leg slung over the side of a velvety chair, perfectly placed so that he's almost touching riddle with his foot, inching the housewarden to early greys. (his words, not yours.) when ace is visiting the ramshackle dorm, you welcome him to sit however he pleases, but chooses to sit like he had a board glued to his back. prim and proper like you're riddle's evil twin who will punish him for sitting straight.

deuce is always humming when he's around you. you have no idea why or if he even knows he's doing it. most time it's songs from the wonderland that you don't recognize. you got him to start recommending you songs when he thinks of them, so now you've got a playlist titled 'deuces humming habits' that you listen to often. (and since you can't access music from your home land... :[ )

jacked and kind. truly. jack is a sweetheart, he offers to carry your bags, open that damned jar or grab a book off the taller shelves for you. him and his unyielding sense of mutual respect would have him presenting his jacket to you at the slightest drop in temperature. jack invites you to the savanaclaw dorm building but ends up having to steer others away from you constantly because they want to challenge you (for some reason??).

silver likes to gift you rocks. whether they're shiny, smooth, textured, patterned or colourful, if silver likes the look of them he'll shove it into his pocket to be gifted to you later. after the mandatory nap. he started giving you the rocks a while ago, so you've now got window sill's full of glittering rocks that reflect the sunlight, making silver one of your first thoughts each morning.

kalim's hobby and love of parties and celebrations gives him a knack for decorating. he once showed up to the ramshackle dorm with a box full of tame decorations, they look like he swiped them off the mantles and shelves of the scarabia lounge with their golden colour and shiny nature, but he assured you these were in storage for a long time. you'll also often find a small box containing a new decoration or accessory to brighten up your ghost-ridden dorm on your front step, scribbled with kalim's hand writing.

ruggie sends you a message each morning, usually around the same time. his excuse is that he’s already making sure leona is awake so he may as well make sure you’re up too. but you think he just enjoys getting to tell you something each day, whether it’s a good morning, a random fact, a cooking or cleaning tip, (he’s really good a giving tips or hacks about a lot of things!) there’s always a message on your homescreen. (though he doesn’t do it for a return, he’s more than happy to accept if you offer him donuts. or a kiss he’s not picky.)

epel sneaks away to the ramshackle dorm, escaping vil and his damned vice housewarden's freaky signature spell (or at least he hopes..) to spend time with you. he'll drop his pretty boy act, pick his accent up and recount stories of his hometown to you. the intense passion he has while sharing the stories almost make you want to go to vil yourself and beg to keep his accent.

lilia will go out of his way to see how long it takes for you to notice when he’s walking behind you. if you’re lost in thought or deep in conversation with a friend and he notices he’ll start silently start following you, chucking to himself when you really don’t notice him. (there was once he was able to follow you from the nrc’s main doors all the way down the main street, down to the horse pastures before you realized there was a certain bat-like vanrouge waltzing beside you.)

sebek's respect for you grows with each day, despite you being human (even though he's half..), he'll start to protect your name when you're not around, confusing everyone around him, especially lilia and malleus, since he's only ever cared that much for them before. when you appear at the doors to the diasomnia dorms for a visit he'll beckon you in, and let you tell him about your day before returning the gesture and recounting his day to you, while slipping in small praises to malleus and his greatness, but you wouldn’t have him any other way. a loyal boy.

made this one longer than the other two so i didn't have a rogue post with only three characters lol

masterlist

[dollishmehrayan]

# BATBOYS WITH A CLASSIC LITERATURE LOVER ── .✦ ( batboys with a s/o who loves/majors in literature )

a/n: this is requested by my amazing @kvfkas 🫶💕, I Lowkey for some reason also love literature too but like it’s hard for me to open a new book because I’m like so busy almost everyday but anywayss && I still can’t get over that one of my record players BROKE. So I can’t play my vinyls until I buy a new one which I ordered yesterday. Tags: (batboys x classic literature lover)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Dick thinks it’s adorable how much you love classic literature. He often finds you curled up with a book that looks like it’s been through several lifetimes, the pages dog-eared and filled with your meticulous annotations.

He loves watching you get animated when you talk about your favorite books, even if he sometimes gets lost when you start referencing ancient Greek tragedies or 19th-century poetry.

“Wait, so you’re saying Achilles was in love with Patroclus? Why didn’t they just say that in school?”

If you major in classics, Dick would try to support you by attending your lectures or even helping you prep for exams. He’d quiz you on authors and historical contexts, even if he can barely pronounce some of the names.

Romantic Moments: On your birthday, he surprises you with a first edition copy of your favorite book, complete with a handwritten note tucked inside the front cover. “I don’t understand half of what’s in this book, but I know it makes you happy, so that’s all that matters.”

He’d ask you to read to him sometimes, enjoying the sound of your voice as much as the words themselves. "You make these stories sound even better, you know that?"

JASON TODD ── .✦

Jason is completely enamored with how passionate you are about classic literature. He gets it; books saved his life, too.

He finds your annotations fascinating and sometimes steals your books to read through them, not just for the story, but to get a glimpse into how your mind works.

“You think Heathcliff is a terrible person, but you still love him? Explain that one to me.” He’d genuinely love hearing your reasoning, even if it ends in a spirited debate.

If you’re majoring in classics, Jason would definitely tease you about it: “So, what, you’re gonna be the next Indiana Jones but with books?” But deep down, he’s incredibly proud of you. (He has dreams of being a literature professor)

Romantic Moments: One day, he surprises you with a day trip to a small, dusty bookstore he found, knowing it’s exactly your kind of place. “Take your time. I’ve got all day,” he says, leaning against a shelf as you lose yourself in the aisles.

He’d also write little notes on scraps of paper and leave them in your books when you’re not looking: “You’re way cooler than Jane Eyre.” “That’s a lie jason.”

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Tim would be absolutely in awe of your love for classic literature. He’s a voracious reader himself, so he’d immediately start asking for recommendations.

He’s amazed by how thoughtful and detailed your annotations are. He’ll flip through one of your books and go, “You should publish these. People would pay good money for your insights.”

If you’re majoring in classics, Tim would make it his mission to help you however he can. Need to translate something from Latin or Greek? He’s on it. Got a big paper due? He’ll proofread it for you.

Romantic Moments: On a particularly stressful day, he sets up a cozy reading nook for you, complete with your favorite snacks and a stack of books he thought you’d like. “Figured you could use some time to unwind.”

He’d get into the habit of reading the same books as you so he can discuss them with you. “Okay, but why does everyone hate Tess of the d’Urbervilles? I think she deserved better.”

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Damian would find your love of classic literature incredibly admirable. He appreciates intellectual pursuits and sees your passion as a sign of your depth and intelligence.

He’d be the one to challenge your opinions on certain characters or themes, sparking debates that sometimes last for hours.

“I fail to see why Mr. Darcy is considered romantic. He was insufferable for most of the novel.” But he secretly loves how animated you get defending your point.

(I’m gonna age him up for this one NO NSFW THOUGH HE’S STILL A MINOR BUT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF MAJORS) If you’re majoring in classics, Damian would take great pride in your academic achievements. He’d even start reading some of the books you mention, just so he can keep up with you.

Romantic Moments: He’d commission a custom leather-bound edition of your favorite book, embossed with your initials on the cover. “For someone as remarkable as you, only the finest will suffice.”

He’d also secretly annotate one of the books you’ve been wanting him to read and leave it for you to find. His notes are sharp, insightful, and, of course, slightly snarky.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Bruce has always been a lover of knowledge, so he’d find your love for classic literature incredibly endearing.

He’d be genuinely impressed by your annotations and sometimes ask to borrow your books just to see your thoughts on them.

“You’ve given me a new perspective on The Great Gatsby,” he’d say after flipping through your copy.

If you’re majoring in classics, Bruce would offer to fund any research or study trips you need. “A visit to Greece would certainly enhance your studies. Consider it an investment.”

Romantic Moments: He’d host a quiet evening in the Wayne library, just for the two of you. The fireplace crackles softly as you sit side by side, reading and sharing passages that resonate with you.

He’d also make a habit of surprising you with rare editions of your favorite books, each one more breathtaking than the last.

[mrs-hatake]

JJK Men Texting You After a Break-up

warning: mentions of violence and stalking. relationships: male x afab!reader a/n: i added yuuta to the list :D also, all images below belong to me‼️

Toji:

The monotonous voice filling the room does not succeed in stealing Y/N’s attention from her phone as it lights up with yet another incoming call.

Toji

Stares back at her, his infamous smirk can almost be seen on the screen as the notification shows his fifth missed call in less than two minutes.

Being stuck in an important meeting on a product the company right after a break-up is the absolute worst. 

Y/N and Toji spent the previous night arguing about something that she cannot remember at the current time. But Toji’s thundering voice rattling her heart in her ribcage rings clear in her ears.

A jab to her side and Y/N is met with a side glare from her colleague who points at her phone with her eyes. Flushing in embarrassment, Y/N hurries to switch off her phone when a text message from her now ex-boyfriend catches her. Scoffing, she sends a quick reply before switching it off.

Satoru:

Binge watching all the feel good chick flicks is the best remedy for Y/N’s broken heart. 

She has shed some tears as the women on the screen cried over a relationship gone sour, has laughed when the female characters enjoyed themselves and has felt empowered when the women got over their heartache and moved on with their lives, becoming the better versions of themselves. 

Which is why when Satoru’s name pops up on her phone, she doesn’t feel the butterflies fluttering about in her tummy like they usually do. Instead, there are tiny spiders crawling in her veins, eating those vermin. 

Pausing the movie, Y/N picks up her phone with disinterest. 

A breathless chuckle, one lacking mirth, rushes past her lips. 

What a ridiculous message her ex has sent her.

Kento:

Going to a bookstore, browsing the shelves for hours and filling the basket to the brim with new books and reading one of them at the coffee shop across the street was Y/N and Kento’s go to date idea.

They will sit at the coffee shop from early afternoon until the sun is just about to set. Having read quite a handful of chapters, they’d review the books they’ve read. Though they don’t read the same genres, they have the maturity to respect the other’s interest and provide honest inputs when asked for. 

But after their break-up just a few days ago, Y/N can’t stand the sight of hers and Kento’s bookshelves in their living room. The only way to shield her from such a sight, the one that taunts her of a lost love, is by retreating to her and Kento’s room. The only solace is that Kento is staying over at a friend’s house until he finds a new apartment to rent. 

Even though she misses Kento, even though she wants him back, Y/N refuses to be the bigger person and takes the first step. 

Which is why when Kento texts her, she doesn’t respond in her usual chipper attitude.

Suguru:

“…So I says to the guy, that’s my ma!”

Y/N shoulders shake as laughter erupts from her. Though the joke itself wasn’t funny, the way her date delivered it with so much enthusiasm is hilarious enough. 

Y/S has been nervous for the past week over the prospect of dating again. She just got out of a break up a little less than a month ago and she isn’t completely ready to be back on the dating scene but her friends have convinced her that the only way to get over a guy is by meeting someone new.

So, she downloads a dating app her friends recommended, matched with someone interesting enough and, here she is, on her first date after being in a relationship with Geto Suguru for two years.

Warmth floods her veins at the look her date is directing her way, gentle and curious, it’s a sight Y/N hasn’t been on the receiving end in a very long time.

She’s glad she is on this date. It’s time she thinks of herself for once.

But her resolve shatters when her phone lights up, showing Suguru’s name.

She picks up her phone to block his number but his message has her rolling her eyes. Typing a quick response, Y/N blocks her ex.

Sukuna:

Finally, after years of emotional abuse, of nights crying herself to sleep, Y/N has finally broken-up with her boyfriend of five years. 

Ryomen Sukuna’s luck runs out when he finally pushes Y/N over her limit. Their last fight has Y/N throwing whatever object she can find at the tattooed man. When he successfully dodges them, she chases him out of her apartment with a kitchen knife.

That was a month ago.

Now, Y/N is in the living room of her new apartment, playing some violent game where whenever she rips off the arms, legs and head of a male character, she pictures them as Sukuna.

Horrifying, true, but this is what happens when you date someone as deranged as Sukuna.

Which is why when Y/N gets a text from an unknown number, her blood boils. 

How the fuck did Sukuna manage to get her new number?

Yuuta:

Dating Okkotsu Yuuta is like dating prince Charming. 

He spoils you with gifts, sings songs of praise, touches you with care and wakes and sleeps to your name on his tongue. 

Which is why, when Yuuta calls Y/N the wrong name in bed — the name of a deceased lover, no less — it is as if she has been doused in cold water, waking her up from her dreams.

What surprises Y/N even more is how incessant Yuuta is; calling her phone nonstop, loitering around her work place, following her room, banging on the door and begging for forgiveness. 

When Y/N grows fearful for her life, she quits her job, packs up her shit and leaves. 

Little by little, pretty colors paint Y/N’s world and she finds herself alive again. 

But the vibrant colors are painted over by dark and dull shades when a spam of messages from an unknown number reminds her of the past she’s been trying to escape.

Y/N isn’t going to give up. She will fight for the life she deserves. And if breaking his heart is the price for it, then so be it.

[tapwater118]

Tap Water Productions Presents:

What’s the Deal With Evil Leafy?

Seriously, what’s her deal? What’s with all the chasing and the people-eating and the potentially-possessions? Where’d she even come from? Am I actually gonna answer any of these questions? Well, keep on reading, dear readers!

Hello, internet! Welcome to BFDI Theory!

A Crash Course in Evil Leafy

Before we can find out what Evil Leafy is, it would help to know where and when Evil Leafy is. Here’s a tabulation of all of Evil Leafy’s canonical appearances:

Evil Leafy’s first appearance is in BFDI 17, where she is one of the 30 recommended characters that could potentially join the show (recommended by MrOrange890). She fails to get enough votes to join, and is summarily sent to the LOL.

Her next “appearance” is in BFDI 25, where Leafy can be seen “turning into” Evil Leafy after Golf Ball accuses her of stealing Dream Island. Strange, but Bubble did briefly turn into Evil Bubble in BFDI 20, so maybe it’s just a visual flair?

Evil Leafy does not receive enough votes to join season two, so in BFDIA 1 she is sent to the LOL with the rest of the rejects. Evidently she escapes at some point, as she appears in BFDIA 2 to chase Book, Ice Cube, and Spongy through the Evil Forest. Book and Icy escape, but Spongy trips, allowing Evil Leafy to “sink into” him.

In BFDIA 3, Spongy is shown no worse for wear as he spits out Evil Leafy. She is quickly frozen by Gelatin, who takes the time to write on her back. She unthaws later as she is seen “sinking into” a frozen Flower in BFDIA 4. Notably, strange dark vines seem to grow out of Flower when this occurs.

Like Spongy, in BFDIA 5a Flower spits out Evil Leafy, again none the worse for wear. Evil Leafy then spends some time chasing Tennis Ball, Golf Ball, and Rocky through the Evil Forest, before consuming them as well as the entirety of FreeSmart.

Evil Leafy serves as the setting for BFDIA 5b, as it is revealed she contains an entire world within her being. Also notable is that the BFDI crew are not her first victims: various other objects can be seen living in this world, all of whom met the same fate as FreeSmart. Lego Brick confirms that there are in fact thousands of recommended characters trapped within Evil Leafy; she’s been quite busy off-screen.

(Most of) FreeSmart escape Evil Leafy in BFDIA 5c, who proceeds to give chase once more. Book and Ruby successfully kill Evil Leafy with a large weight, alongside Puffball and Fries. As TB, GB, and Rocky (as well as Firey and Gelatin) need to be recovered in BFDIA 5d, it can be assumed that they either died within Evil Leafy during 5b, or died when Evil Leafy was crushed. If the latter, it can be assumed that all of the other objects in Evil Leafy die as well.

Evil Leafy takes a leave of absence until BFDIA 6, where Team No-Name accidentally revive her by looking into a leaf-shaped mirror in the ˥IΛƎ Here Hotel. She gives chase to them, during which she phases through a window, causing Tennis Ball to remark that “she’s growing stronger.” Interesting.

As she’s about to catch Team No-Name, she hears Coiny repeatedly saying her name elsewhere in Yoyle City. This gets her to prioritize WOAH Bunch and FreeSmart over the helpless Team-No-Name. As she apparently cannot go underwater, she ends up causing the two teams to see-saw on the dehumidifier for some time.

After fruitlessly chasing WOAH Bunch across the dehumidifier, in BFDIA 7 Firey Speaker Box evidently has enough of her shenanigans and freezes her, causing her to fall into the flooded building. For one reason or another, she is absent when WOAH Bunch drain the building, and she is not seen again for an even longer period of time.

After a four episode absence, she returns in BFDIA 12, and after killing Bomby (note that her sinking into him actually does kill him, unlike the other times she has done this) and being harassed by a bunch of concert-goers, she becomes all buddy-buddy(?) with Pan Flute, and ends up doing her strange vine thing without even sinking into him like with Flower.

In BFDIA 13, Pan Flute decides he is done with Evil Leafy’s shenanigans and duct tapes her to the wall, which apparently is enough to contain her. That is, at least, until Leafy utters the word “Who?” in context of wondering who recovered her. This sound somehow burns away the tape, allowing Evil Leafy to go free.

Throughout BFDIA 14 Evil Leafy chases the contestants across the islands, notably causing her strange vines to grow through the islands. This comes to a head when she chases FreeSmart through the pirate ship, and after Book narrowly escapes being captured, she confronts them one last time while standing on the surface of the water, and Needle crushes her with the ship.

As the rest of BFDIA hasn’t released yet, we don’t know what happens to Evil Leafy during that time. She evidently sticks around, as she can be seen stalking TB and GB in the Science Museum in IDFB 1, though oddly does not give chase unlike her previous appearances.

After IDFB, Evil Leafy is seemingly gone. She never shows up, and none of the characters even mention her. In BFB 6, Diamondcup67 submits her as a recommended character, but even then she doesn’t actually appear; she’s been replaced by a cardboard cutout of herself.

Her sudden disappearance thus begs the question:

What Happened to Evil Leafy?

Unfortunately, it’s all but impossible to tell. Whatever happened happened during IDFB, which is a huge knowledge gap in terms of the timeline. However, I have ideas of things that could be related :

The Desertion of Yoyle City

Strangely, despite calling Yoyle City their new home during BFDIA, the contestants seem to have long abandoned it by BFB 1. Seeing how closely Evil Leafy is tied to BFDIA and Yoyle City (through the ˥IΛƎ Here Hotel), there’s reason to believe she might have something to do with this.

Something to note is that the BFB grasslands are not the same as the BFDI ones, as evidenced by Golf Ball’s Underground Factory; it still has the old grass around the entrance, as she had to move it to this new location. The new grasslands are also seemingly closer to Yoyleland than the old ones, as Yoyle Mountain can pretty much always be seen in the distance, whereas it is never visible in the old grasslands. This could imply that the desertion was hasty, or that there was no way to easily cross the Goiky Canal (or even the Evil Forest).

(Some confusion may arise about these actually being two separate locations, seeing as they’re both referred as Goiky several times, but Goiky could just be the name of the greater location that encompasses both grasslands, and potentially Yoyleland too.)

Also interesting is that Barf Bag is seemingly unfamiliar with Yoyleland; when she is teleported there in TPOT 4, she expresses how Yoyleland is her “lifelong travel destination,” as well as getting excited over getting to see a yoyleberry for the first time. This is very odd, seeing as if IDFB were to continue as purported, Barf Bag would be freed from the LOL at some point and would have had at least some time to explore Yoyleland. Did Yoyle City get abandoned in the middle of IDFB, such that Barf Bag was released from the LOL in the new grasslands?

Everyone’s Okay With Leafy Now

In IDFB 1, Leafy is still an outcast from the rest of the group, still being metal, hiding in the bushes, and throwing knives at people. When we next see her in BFB 1, she’s been accepted back into the fold of the cast, conversing with both newbies and veterans in her usual Leafy way with no objections from anyone (except Firey, but everyone already knows what his issue is). Why the sudden(?) change in group opinion?

Maybe this could be written off as the newbies both outnumbering the veterans and not knowing about the theft of Dream Island (seeing as how Eggy and Lollipop were seemingly completely unaware of the incident, and even Gelatin, a BFDIA veteran, only had cursory knowledge of it). But she still interacts in a cordial manner with a decent amount of season 1 veterans, and any that still have a problem with her have their issue unrelated to Dream Island (again, except for Firey).

Maybe Leafy does something to gain back the group favor? Maybe something related to Evil Leafy? There is an obvious connection between the two, as suggested by BFDIA 13. Is there some encounter between the two that causes Evil Leafy to stop showing up? Is this the reason they move out of Yoyleland? I have an idea that I’ll get to soon, but it’s mostly speculation right now. There are many questions that unfortunately do not have answers right now.

So, that begs the question:

What even is an Evil Leafy?

There are two main aspects of Evil Leafy I want to bring up.

The first is her strange aversion to water. In BFDIA 6, she refuses to chase her prey into the water, even though they are sitting ducks at that point and she clearly prioritizes WOAH Bunch over the much drier Team No-Name. Additionally, in BFDIA 14 we see Evil Leafy standing on top of the water on Teardrop’s island. She absolutely does not want to go into that water.

And honestly, it makes sense why; after she falls into the water in the beginning of BFDIA 7, she isn’t seen until BFDIA 12. A four episode gap! That’s even longer than when she got crushed in BFDIA 5c! For some reason, water is especially dangerous to her, and while she isn’t afraid to go near it, she absolutely will not go in it of her own accord.

(Also worth noting that, as Needle likely submerged Evil Leafy when crushing her with the ship, we might not actually see her for a few episodes. If my theory holds water (heh), she most likely will not be in BFDIA 15. Ah, bugger. I forgot about the stinger where we see her safe and dry inside the ship. My bad. Ignore this paragraph.)

Secondly is how Evil Leafy gains her power. Tennis Ball remarks that Evil Leafy is “getting stronger,” and we don’t just have to take his word for it. Her “sinking into” move goes from being nearly harmless in BFDIA 2 and 4 to directly killing Bomby in BFDIA 12. Also, her strange vines go from needing to sink into someone to grow (BFDIA 4), to just needing to be near someone (BFDIA 12), to being able to grow anywhere regardless of if anyone is present (BFDIA 14).

I think they made it fairly clear where this power is coming from: in BFDIA 13, Leafy is the one who indirectly gives Evil Leafy the strength to burn away the tape and free herself via her confusion at being recovered. This goes back even further; despite likely being free from the LOL for some time during BFDI season 1, Evil Leafy is nowhere to be seen. You know when she does start showing up? When Leafy is exiled to Yoyleland.

Evil Leafy is an Anti-Leafy, the polar opposite of Leafy. Leafy is green, Evil Leafy is red. Leafy has been shown to love water, while Evil Leafy hates it despite (presumably) also being a plant. Leafy loves being nice to people, while Evil Leafy is seemingly built on detest for all she encounters.

Well, you say, Leafy is prone to lashing out at others. Does this mean Evil Leafy can remain docile around others? Yes! In BFDIA 12, Pan Flute treats her with kindness (at least initially), and in turn Evil Leafy does not harm him despite having every faculty to do so. Leafy and Evil Leafy are polar opposites. Two halves of the same coiny.

So, back to my idea I mentioned earlier; we can see that Leafy’s negative feelings apparently give power to Evil Leafy. Heck, even that moment I called strange in BFDI 25 could play into this: the negative emotions Leafy feels in that moment transmitting power to Evil Leafy. So what ultimately causes Evil Leafy to vanish?

If Leafy’s negative emotions give her power, it would only make sense that Leafy’s positive emotions drain that power. When Leafy got accepted back into the cast, I can only imagine she felt elated at that. She’s back with her friends! She can laugh and play and be nice to them just as she could before. Sure, some might still not like her, and she may still get sad and angry at times, but if you ask me I don’t think it can get much worse than “exiled to a distant land for years.”

Maybe she even precipitates the move out from Yoyle City. Yoyleland is a haven of bad memories for her, it would make sense she wouldn’t want to live there. And seeing as she makes some friends with some newbies (or at least gets on their good sides), they may want to follow her, eventually leading to everyone leaving on a “when in Rome” principle.

When Leafy is happy, what does that mean for Evil Leafy? Literally it means that her power is drained and that she cannot continue her reign of terror, but metaphorically it means that Evil Leafy is not necessary anymore. Evil Leafy showed up when Leafy was at her lowest (barring BFDI 16/17, but I’m willing to write that off as a form of Early Installment Weirdness), and she leaves as soon as that low point is over.

So that’s what Evil Leafy is. Even if not physically, at least she represents Leafy’s broken psyche. Leafy is unavailable, Leafy cannot handle the current situation, she remains exiled in Yoyleland. So Evil Leafy, the Anti-Leafy, the antithesis to all things Leafy, steps into the picture. And when Leafy becomes available again, Evil Leafy is gone. Leafy’s sorrow literally imprints itself onto the world, as if reality is saying “Oh, you don’t want Leafy? Then you can have Anti-Leafy instead. See how much better that fares for you.”

and that’s all I really have to say. sorry if this is a bit all over the place, i wrote it over the course of a week and had several new ideas in the meantime, so some rewriting had to be done. And with my luck bfdia 15 is going to instantly disprove all of this, so yeah for that

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Okay brief post before I sleep, re: the problem of "fantasy dwarves"

Obviously I am no authority on any community that I'm not part of, so I cannot be a final voice on whether or not any particular use of various fantasy people and creatures are good or bad.

However, it also means that when I run into issues like this, it's important to me to get info from multiple sources (even if I don't reblog or share everything I've found) in order to make my own choices for my work. And I recommend the same to everyone!

Because human history is the way that it is, it's pretty much inevitable that the common fantasy people or creatures you want to use in your own new work have at some point, maybe even a lot, been portrayed in ways that are very offensive and bigoted towards real human people. (and this goes for scifi too)

Orcs have commonly been portrayed as some manner of "barbaric savages" with aesthetic details that call to mind Mongolian warriors, Native Americans, and African people, frequently combined with animalistic features.

There was a huge debate on the antisemitic features of goblins in mainstream fantasy, especially around the time JK Rowling was becoming more and more openly bigoted and the issues of racist caricature goblins and house elves in Harry Potter were being made more relevant.

The lore of drow in Dungeons and Dragons is a whole mess of racism and misogyny with their evil matriarchy and slavery situation, not at all helped by their dark colored skin.

Elves are certainly not exempt from this, though they're often taken in the opposite direction and portrayed as wise and beautiful white people who are more civilized than everyone else. And a lot of people have decided to subvert that by making elves into the oppressors. I've done that a little myself.

I'm also writing a lot of characters who don't match my own identity, including some in rather sensitive categories like being trans or having dissociative identity disorder. Those are my two main characters in the book I'm currently writing. I've seen people with DID write very passionate posts trying to dissuade people from ever writing any character with that condition. And I've seen other people with DID encourage the existence of those characters.

Fact is, there is no universal answer to the conundrum of whether or not a particular type of character or fantasy people or creature should be written. There are, I think, clear traits and tropes to avoid because they just can't be subverted in a meaningful way, especially not by people who aren't part of the marginalized groups that are harmed by them.

Like I don't think anyone who isn't Jewish should try to lampshade and openly subvert the antisemitic goblin tropes like the ones you see in Harry Potter.

I have been using fantasy dwarves in my writing, and I've reblogged a post from a person with dwarfism who is very much on the side of fantasy dwarves no longer being used. And I respect that, which is why I reblogged it and why I am still pondering a name change for my own "dwarves". But while I have not posted any links to it, I have in fact watched a video by another person with dwarfism who thinks fantasy dwarves are cool! There is no singular answer here. I'm still thinking about using a different word, and I plan to keep on hearing out different opinions.

I think the most important thing, though, is whether or not my many fantasy people come across as nuanced and respectable or if they come across like bad stereotypes and offensive caricatures. I can rename them all I like, but whether I'm using the word "orc" or "boarin" or whatever you like, does that make it any less offensive if I write them to be savage uncivilized evil barbarians regardless? Is it less offensive to remove the title of "dwarves" and replace it with "cavern folk" if you're still going to write them as angry little men with big heads who only exist for comedic effect?

It is important to be careful of the use of specific words and I think coming up with your own names for fantasy people is a great idea, of course. It's why I have the stroi as another species of elf. But it does kinda bother me when people act like the very use of a word is the main problem and not just one more detail on top of a pile of problems.

[edenfenixblogs]

Look what Google just recommended to me!!!!

I already own (and love) Shabbat and Portico.

But I am OBSESSED with the rest and must acquire them immediately.

Top of my list is Love Japan because LOOK AT THIS BEAUITFUL BOWL OF MATZO BALL RAMEN!!!!!

We hear a lot about Jewish people in Europe and MENA, but we do not hear a lot about Jewish culture as it blends with East Asian cultures, and that’s a shame. Not just because it erases the centuries of Jewish populations there, but also because there are plenty of people of mixed decent. People who may not have come directly from Jewish communities in East Asia, but people who have a Japanese Father and a Jewish Mother, for example. Or people in intercultural marriages. These are all real and valuable members of the Jewish community, and we should be celebrating them more. This cookbook focuses on Jewish Japanese American cuisine and I am delighted to learn more as soon as possible. The people who wrote this book run the restaurant Shalom Japan, which is the most adorable name I’ve ever heard. Everything about this book excites and delights me.

And of course, after that, I’m most interested in “Kugels and Collards” (as if you had any doubts about that after the #kugel discourse, if you were following me then).

This is actually written in conjunction with an organization of the same name devoted to preserving the food and culture of Jews in South Carolina!

I’m especially excited to read this one, because I have recently acquired the book Kosher Soul by the fantastic, inimitable Michael J. Twitty, which famously explores faith and food in African American Jewish culture. I’m excited to see how Jewish soul food and traditions in South Carolina specifically compare and contrast with Twitty’s writings.

I’m also excited for all the other books on this list!

A while ago, someone inboxed me privately to ask what I recommended for people to read in order to learn more about Jewish culture. I wrote out a long list of historical resources attempting to cover all the intricate details and historic pressure points that molded Jewish culture into what it is today. After a while I wrote back a second message that was much shorter. I said:

Actually, no. Scratch everything I just said. Read that other stuff if you want to know Jewish history.

But if you want to know Jewish culture? Cookbooks.

Read every Jewish cookbook you can find.

Even if you don’t cook, Jewish cookbooks contain our culture in a tangible form. They often explain not only the physical processes by which we make our meals, but also the culture and conditions that give rise to them. The food is often linked to specific times and places and events in diaspora. Or they explain the biblical root or the meaning behind the holidays associated with a given food.

I cannot speak for all Jews. No one can. But in my personal observation and experience—outside of actual religious tradition—food has often been the primary means of passing Jewish culture and history from generation to generation.

It is a way to commune with our ancestors. I made a recipe for chicken soup or stuffed cabbage and I know that my great grandmother and her own mother in their little Hungarian shtetl. I’ll never know the relatives of theirs who died in the Holocaust and I’ll never meet the cousins I should have had if they were allowed to live. But I can make the same food and know that their mother also made it for them. I have dishes I make that connect me to my lost ancestors in France and Mongolia and Russia and Latvia and Lithuania and, yes, Israel—where my relatives have lived continuously since the Roman occupation even after the expulsions. (They were Levites and Cohens and caretakers of synagogues and tradition and we have a pretty detailed family tree of their presence going back quite a long time. No idea how they managed to stay/hide for so long. That info is lost to history.)

I think there’s a strong tendency—aided by modern recipe bloggers—to view anything besides the actual recipe and procedures as fluff. There is an urge for many people to press “jump to recipe” and just start cooking. And I get that. We are all busy and when we want to make dinner we just want to make dinner.

But if your goal isn’t just to make dinner. If your goal is to actually develop an understanding of and empathy for Jewish people and our culture, then that’s my advice:

Read cookbooks.

[cicidarkarts]

Why do you like Idrees, you missin the whole point of the movie dawg

The whole point of the movie isn't "let's hate on Idrees". As we see in basically every single frame, the point of the movie (and the book, which I'll touch on) is the destruction and pain and damage that's caused by the ideological views and extremist actions of the Taliban. Places are run down, children are working, the elderly can't get proper care, there's no clean water.

(Dirty and smoggy)

(Both a child working and an old man who lost a leg in the wars)

(Broken windows, dirt, smog, a child working)

(This man doesn't even want to speak to Parvana and her mother, Fattema, for fear of retaliation from the Taliban)

(Shauzia and Parvana have a heart-to-heart on top of a fucking tank)

(These mfs can't even piss without thinking they're going to be blown up)

(Everyone here has to take dirty water from this same well in this dusty alcove)

(The general state of hawkers and beggars looks like this)

Of course the main aspect the movie shows us: women are not allowed to do… anything! It's to the point that women will get beaten just for being outside "uncovered".

(They whip her and she screams off-screen)

(Or even just without their mahram; we watch this unnamed Talib beat Fattema for being outside without a man)

(Looking away from Fattema's beating in shame)

(Here's a picture of a man in his element making candy, look at how happy he is :D What a cinnamon bun, we should all fangirl him instead)

We get glimpses of hope through the legends of Suleiman (same voice actor as Idrees for those who didn't know; means nothing, though; I'm not comparing the two, it's just trivia), and this hope is something that Parvana holds desperately onto. It's also what gives her the courage to stand and keep going at the end of the movie. I'll attempt to keep spoilers to a minimum.

Let's talk about the book, as it will come into play at least a few times, particularly when talking about Razaq. The book is somehow more depressing. There is no Suleiman legends to give us comfort and break up the tension. There is no hopeful ending (I'll try to keep spoilers to a minimum as well; it's a short book and I'd recommend just reading it). However, we get more glimpses of women going against the Taliban's laws; they make their own school, learn on their own, and are generally more cheeky, defiant, and independent (as much as they can be) in the book.

The book is based on the accounts of women living in Afghanistan at the time, and less so on the story of Parvana. This means the narrative is a bit more all over the place, and things happen without resolution, or things happen and are resolved quickly without Parvana's intervention. To be fair, that's more accurate to real life, but as a movie, The Breadwinner needed more cohesion, so there are things the book does that the movie doesn't (i.e., women in burqas begging on the streets "with babies sprawled in their laps"). And things the movie does that the book doesn't (i.e., Idrees isn't in the book). So let's talk about the victims of the Taliban. Which is every named character in the movie.

We'll start with Razaq. Razaq is like looking into Idrees' future. He's jaded, beaten down, depressed. He's an older man who lost his wife, whom he loved very much. He unfortunately cannot read his native language, and this infortmation is given to him by Parvana. It breaks him to know that his wife has been the casualty of war. He's generally seen as a kind man, so much in fact that Parvana has this to say about it: "Up until then, she had seen Talibs only as men who beat women and arrested her father. Could they have feelings of sorrow, like other human beings?"

Razaq is not named in the book. He also doesn't have a bigger role outside of this to the narrative. The movie does more with him, and gives him a chance to prove his kindness, how he's a veteran, with the Taliban out of feelings of necessity (see: indoctrination, a word which we'll use often) and religious duty. He is a man who loved his wife and risks himself to give Parvana her hope. The ending of the movie is made all the more powerful with him in the conclusion, rather than the book which took a more realistic but also narratively boring approach.

So why am I talking about Razaq when this question was about Idrees? Well, for one to prove that I was paying attention to the movie, and for two because there are parallels between Idrees and Razaq. That's why they were patrol partners. Why we saw Razaq trying to keep Idrees, young and full of himself with something to prove, on a leash. Not just to avoid hurting others, but also to avoid he himself getting hurt.

I think the movie shot itself in the foot by not giving us more of them as mentor and mentee, but then the movie has a lot of flaws (what happened to Shauzia in the end? We don't know) and I think they could've benefitted from a longer runtime and bigger budget. ANYWAY.

Idrees, like many young men at the time, was indoctrinated into this ideology, this totalitarian Emirate, this sexism and hatred, with the promise of power and freedom. Using his religion against him, he was made into an extremist, molded by the powers that be to do their bidding. As a young man, he cared only for what it gave him, and used said power to hurt his old teacher whom he perceived as wronging him.

There is no Idrees in the book. No one who fit the bill to be him, either, so unfortunately there's nothing in the source material I can draw from that will directly relate to him. There was also some supplementary material on him in the past that helped the viewer understand him more; however, I've been unable to find this (anyone who has it can let me know). Thank you to the wonderful, helpful commenter, @cmtoto1220, for gifting me the link to Idrees' bio! 😭 It's right here on Tumblr so I'll give you guys the link, but I'll also put Idrees' right here for easy viewing. Thank you so much!! https://44del.tumblr.com/post/671680841272967168/haha-hey-guys-just-a-reminder-to-read-the

(Now if you'll excuse me I'll be giggling, twirling my hair, and kicking my feet :3) Some spoilers for Idrees' character arc: At the end of his time in the movie, he's seen working for his uncle. It's bleak and dirty and black smoke spews from the factory. He and his uncle heckle Parvana and Shauzia (Aatish and Deliwar, respectively; in the book: Kaseem and Shafiq) and we see some of the culture around being a young boy in this time. It's not pretty and very physically violent. We can expect Idrees once had this same treatment and is now throwing his weight around.

When he discovers that Aatish is actually Parvana (the only man who realizes; apparently everyone else is fucking blind), Parvana retaliates in a very well-deserved moment. Let's take a look at it and laugh because it's honestly glorious. Even my fangirl ass loves it.

(He 100% deserved that)

(Decimated by that brick)

Idrees takes one his uncle's guns and the culmination of his character arc begins. The girls have wedged themselves into a crevice where Idrees can't reach them, and Idrees threatens them from outside. It's here we see that he's never actually used a gun (ummm y'all want him to go to war and you haven't taught him how to use a gun? ooookay). He fiddles with it as though trying to figure out how to use it from other men he's seen, all while talking some mad shit.

The gun discharges. The music stops. Idrees kneels there, breathing heavily, his nose bloodied, his eyes wide and fearful. Shit just got real. Too real. Everything he's been taught (see: indoctrinated into) has come to a head.

He scrambles back up the cliff without a word, being called off to war by his (now very angry) uncle. He doesn't speak a single word throughout the rest of the time we see him in this movie. His eyes are wide, he can't catch his breath, and he's carted away to war never to be seen again.

(Classic thousand-yard stare)

Let's be real: in reality, this man without any experience on the battlefield was one of the many, MANY casualties of war. He went out after this experience and died. Most men who go to war die, and most of the men that do are young men who have never seen combat before.

Idrees saw what young men before him had never seen. He saw the power of his gun, he saw that he could take life in an instant. And he didn't like it. That is not the face of a man who revels in violence. That is the face of a man who was traumatized by the very idea of violence. The thought that he could've killed those kids haunts him. Brief edit: Pay attention to the scene in which he gets Nurullah arrested. Before this, he was loud and full of bravado. But afterwards? The way he speaks to Parvana, he sounds so muted, he walks off somberly, as though what he's witnessed here has shaken him. Despite knowing there is no man around to protect this family, Idrees never returns. He never comes back to harass Parvana or her family. Is that regret I smell? Guilt? Fear at what he's become; fear of his own choices?

I didn't pay attention much to Idrees at first. Yes, I saw him, I saw he was an asshole, I remember thinking to myself "oh great this asshole again" when I saw him stalking Parvana and her father (whose name is Nurullah in case you missed it), but I didn't immediately think lemme smash. Even during his last act when he returned, I groaned when I heard his voice and saw him calling the girls over. I was done with this dude.

But then I saw what happened, the conclusion to his arc, and everything started to click for me. The victimization, the fear, the destruction, everything that the Taliban caused for ordinary citizens, applied within as well. Idrees was young and stupid, as most young people are, and thought he could have everything. He was promised everything. But in the end, he had nothing. Just like Parvana forced to endure the horrors of her home so she and her family wouldn't starve. Just like Razaq having lost the only people he cared about. Just like Nurullah rotting in Pul-e-Charkhi.

I have my own tastes. People suffering from guilt after doing horrific things. See: Ominis Gaunt, torturing Muggles and Muggle-borns as a child, filled with guilt, trying to make up for what he's done in every way possible. People with traumatic experiences that follow them everywhere they go. See: Thief King Bakura, witnessing his entire village of Kul Elna being destroyed, his family murdered for the sake of creating the Millennium Items, now on a quest for vengeance. See also: Jet from Avatar: The Last Airbender, witnessing the Fire Nation take everything from him, who then goes on an anarchist crusade against all Fire Nation peoples, regardless of who got in his way. And people who suffer from religious persecution, lies, and deceit. See: Idrees.

So where do I, a fangirl with an interest in Arabic culture, religious trauma and guilt, traumatic experiences, PTSD, redemption arcs, and writing go from here? Well, clearly I write a continuation of Idrees' story. One where he doesn't die in the wars, and is instead haunted by survivor's guilt on top of everything else. Where he develops a mentor and mentee relationship with Razaq, sees through the lies and deception, and makes bold decisions that result in him running from the death that would follow being an apostate. He has to live with what he's done, what he's seen, what he didn't do. He takes great pains to ensure he's never like his past self ever again, never like his father or his uncle or any other Talib.

What he's seen and experienced and didn't do has traumatized him to the point he's trapped, suffocating under the weight of his actions, of feeling like at any point that part of him could come back which manifests in obsessive handwashing and other OCD rituals, flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety, and self-imposed isolation.

I've done nothing as bad as Idrees. But I also suffer from panic attacks, anxiety, c-PTSD, guilt, intrusive thoughts. I love stories wherein a person is attempting to overcome their past despite drowning in self-hatred and hopelessness. Idrees is the perfect amalgamation of all of these things, the perfect vessel with which to explore these topics.

Plus, he's pretty hot. :)

(Lemme smash)

If you'd like a further deep-dive on Idrees' character, you can find me speaking on his age in this post:

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

I just found out I have to be on the road 4-5 hours a day for work for the next month. Fun. I’ve almost finished the Horus Heresy except for short stories here and there. I’ve listened to the Eisenhorn trilogy, Our Martyred Lady and Eye of Night. I’ve read The Infinite and the Divine.

Can you recommend some good 40K series or story arcs that are more than just a short book or two? Maybe something Chaos Marine focused, Black Legion or T Sons maybe?

I’ve heard good things about the Fabius Bile books but unfortunately I have medical PTSD and so those probably aren’t for me.

Firstly, oof. 4-5 hours driving a day is rough. Condolences.

Now, if you want Black Legion-specific novels, The Talon of Horus + Black Legion are part of an unfinished trilogy by ADB that focuses on the formation of the Black Legion. The narrating character is also a former Thousand Son.

If you want 40k Thousand Sons reading, the Ahriman series (first one is Ahriman: Exile) will be your best bet. The quality of them is... varied, but they remain the most Tsons-focal 40k books.

Other solid Chaos Marine-focused series are, of course, the Night Lords Omnibus by ADB (probably the definitive Chaos Marine reading experience) and the Word Bearers Omnibus by Anthony Reynolds. I will warn that the latter is an incredibly good but bleak read, and the main characters are exceptionally bad people.

As for other series generally, I cannot recommend enough the Twice Dead King duology (the first being Twice Dead King: Ruin) by Nate Crowley. They can be heavy reading, but I would consider them to be the quintessential books for learning about Necron culture and psychology. Hugely entertaining and tragic.

If you're feeling up to stomaching loyalist astartes, then Chris Wraight's Blood of Asaheim trilogy (first book shares the same name) is a nicely written look at 40k Space Wolves.

Hope you find this helpful!

[lizzybeth1986]

Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims

Series - TRR's Alternative LIs: The "Romances" That Didn't Happen

Previous - Maxwell and Penelope: When You Like the Side Character So Much, You Gift Her A Shiny New LI

A/N1: Apologies, again, for the length of this. There was so much damn retconning to wade through that it felt like a rollercoaster to write. There is also not going to be a lot of Hana in this, as I needed to unravel so many inconsistencies in Madeleine's writing. I also didn't want this to become a repeat of my essay series on Hana (which you can read here).

CW: Descriptions of bullying and intimidation, as well as dismissiveness of the same both in canon and from fandom. A mention of the 'infertility' plotline written for Hana in TRH1. Mentions of parental abuse and neglect.

In every other essay in this series, it's been important for me to analyse the potential of the pairings TRR went for. No matter how badly PB handled them later on, one could find promise in the possibilities of these pairings, and if written well they could result in a sweet, happy ending for the LIs we didn't marry. With a better sense of balance from the writers and less vitriol and double standards (in some cases) from the fandom, they could have worked.

Not so for this pairing.

In the case of Hana and Madeleine,it would have been far far better if this pairing had never happened at all. The problem wasn't just in the development; the roots of such a pairing itself were rotten.

(White) Female Antagonists

Before I delve into the characters involved in this pairing, it's important we take another deep dive into a narrative practice we often see with PB. Their blatant favouring of specifically white female antagonists.

Now, it's not as if white men in antagonistic roles don't get favourable writing from their teams and adulation from sections of the fandom (one has to only look at some of the posts Gaius Augustine of BB, Caleb of Hero, and Kane of TE got - just to name a few). But we also often see fans of such white women decry the (very little compared to their black counterparts) condemnation that their faves get for their actions in comparison to both antagonistic and romanceable white men. Such readers often neglect to acknowledge exactly how much the narrative bends over backwards to accomodate them, in a way that they never have done for even mildly hostile/wary black and brown women. And often this is with ample support and encouragement within the fandom itself.

One cannot even pretend this is a recent development. The early books had their fair share of white-woman-adulation and you can see some of the patterns that would solidify in PB discourse already take shape in their early books.

One excellent example of this is TCaTF. Compare the treatment that white women like Helene Leventis, Hex and Zenobia Nevrakis are given, to what Rowan Thorn - a black woman - gets. Helene is allowed to escape never to return, or join Kenna, despite being the woman who killed her mentor and close friend Gabriel. Hex is well known in the series for her sadistic torture devices and for destroying an extremely prosperous kingdom. Yet, she is captured - alive - and there are two options that allow her a bit more mercy, and only one that recommends the harshest of punishments. Rowan in the meantime only betrays Kenna if the latter is an absolute tyrant to her, and letting her go if she betrays her is touted as a failure. Her loyalty doesn't ensure she will live like Diavolos' does - you can in fact leave her to die if you don't have enough diamonds/prestige points.

The Freshman was an improvement on this: even if Becca Davenport started out as a classic college mean girl, her redemption arc involved her needing to work to regain trust with the group and her best friend Madison, regardless of the MC's fondness of her. Her housemates immediately set her straight when she lashes out at them at the beginning of TS, and Becca has to plan for almost a-book-and-a-half to get her friendship with Madison back to normal again.

Sadly, this is something that rarely ever happened again. Discrepancies in character treatment became more and more obvious as the years passed. Books where black and brown women behaved even mildly unimpressed or catty with the MC, showed them either suffering grievous fates or written out of the narrative (eg. Scarlett not even getting a proper future in the VoS bonus scene) or being mistrusted and misunderstood constantly by the MC and their friends (Aurora). Books where white women could cause grievous harm depicted them being let off without so much as a slap on the wrist (eg. Aunt Mallory of RoE being rewarded with a happy life, a man and reconciliation with the niece she tried to kill and the daughter she emotionally abused).

(Screenshots from SavageLordBarlow's YouTube channel)

Perhaps the worst and most obvious case to date was that of Vanessa Blackwood of MoTY, who called a young child "guttersnipe" within minutes of encountering her, outed a lesbian teacher, encouraged her son's bullying, provided legal counsel to the MC's ex husband just to see the woman suffer, and engineered a plot to frame the MC for theft so she could lose her job. Once Vanessa had crossed her limits, PB ensured they laid on the sympathy narrative thick, having her show sad faces when the MC scolded her in a paywall scene, punishing only her brown lackey (both the white people involved - Vanessa and Guy - are never named when Tallulah is exposed, even though she literally stole jewellery and framed the MC for them). In the series finale, Vanessa was rewarded with a cushy diamond scene where the MC can choose (in what is the understatement of the century) to call her "classist and a little bit racist" - all she is given at the end of the book is an extremely softball form of criticism.

Compare this to Xanthe of ACOR, who had far less power, who was repeatedly slut shamed by the MC and others for doing her job, and whose end was met in a "comical" scene that implied she'd been sold into sexual slavery while two black members of her scholae gloated over her plight (in a manner so uncharacteristic of them that even players who didn't necessarily like Xanthe were shocked. I would highly recommend you read @cassiopeiacorvus' excellent essay on her, "Xanthe: Courtesan, Rival, Pawn").

In an essay I'd written years ago, I'd noted the following:

"Check out who the narrative rewards you for treating well, as opposed to who will be made to support you either way.

You're allowed to show basic decency to a black or brown woman. But you're expected to show kindness, understanding and empathy to a white woman, and richly rewarded if you do. In some cases you will also face consequences if you don't. (Fandom - take note of the difference, and be sure not to forget it)."

Madeleine Amaranath is probably one of the best examples of this - with blatant retcons, unfounded adulation and obvious pandering lasting over five books.

Rules of Engagement

When we look at the full cast of TRR, we find at least six characters who are callbacks to its sister series, Rules of Engagement. Leo, Constantine, Regina, Bastien, Madeleine and Rashad (the last one was an addition from TRR2 onwards). Part of TRR's appeal as a series was its ability to reference the earlier one through these characters, but this time from the PoV of Leo's younger brother instead.

Madeleine appeared in only 2 chapters in RoE. She was Leo's fiancée, in an arranged match that not only their parents but their citizens expected, unfazed by the "commoners" Leo brought to his bed and secure in the knowledge that no matter who he slept with she would eventually become his Queen. Leo dashes these expectations, however, by abdicating his claim to the throne - whether the RoE MC chooses him or not.

At this point - when TRR was barely even a concept - Leo was a clear fan favourite. Players liked the idea of romancing a rogue prince from a fictional European country; it meant they could revel in the luxury of touching royalty, while being away from all the hard, unsavoury parts. The Madeleine angle provided them with a rival to fight off, and at the time that was all that mattered.

Was Leo's behaviour in RoE, towards both the RoE MC and Madeleine, dishonest? Definitely, but not many seemed to care much at the time and it hardly created a dent in his fanbase (most of the criticisms against him and his cheating ways and irresponsibility would emerge later - when the Leo stans became Drake stans, and it was more convenient to badmouth Liam's family).

Jeffrey Herdman, a Junior Game Writer with Pixelberry for over 7 years, was a part of both the RoE and TRR teams, and proudly admitted in the TRR2 pre-release interview, to being the one in charge of writing Madeleine:

Q: Very funny. (Just so we're clear, Jeffrey is joking. Sort of.) Out of curiosity, who's your favorite character to write in The Royal Romance?

Jeffrey: Madeleine. It's fun to write someone who's constantly trying to spin a situation to their benefit, and making power plays along the way. I've actually been writing for Madeleine since her appearance in Rules of Engagement: Book 2, so we're practically besties.

Excerpt from The Royal Romance: Book 2 Interview

(If we were to compare this adulation of the character from Jeffrey, to the person who wrote Hana - head writer Jennifer Young, you'd find a surprising difference. In this very interview Jennifer talks about enjoying the process of writing Hana, but pointed to Drake as her favourite LI - "In my personal game, my love interest is definitely Drake, and I totally make Kara write him just so I can read his scenes and enjoy the romance. =)".

Perhaps if Jennifer had spent less time fawning over Drake, and more time doing Hana's story justice, that LI wouldn't be stuck in a situation where the team constantly erased her experiences and history to benefit their favourites)

When you look at Jeffrey's open admiration of Madeleine, and trace her fairly choppy and largely incoherent narrative journey through the books...a lot of things begin to make sense.

TRR1 - Would a TRR1 Madeleine Have Been A Better Fit for Hana?

When you look at the first book, you can tell that the possibility of any of the other alternative pairings besides Liam and Olivia wasn't really entertained. There is no buildup at all for Maxwell x Penelope, Drake x Kiara - and not even a single direct interaction between fellow competitors Hana and Madeleine. In fact, TRR2 often had to cover up for the lack of interaction in certain cases by making the alternative LI come up with justifications for why they weren't approaching the LI before.

There is maybe one implied interaction between Hana and Madeleine, that I don't think even the writers paid much attention to at the time. In the pie baking scene in Applewood, Hana is assigned to Madeleine's team if the MC doesn't take her along. Whichever group Hana is in, she is in charge of the pie design.

In the diamond scene, she takes the MC's suggestions and gives her advice on the amount of apples required for the filling. Given that she gives credit to the MC (in front of Queen Regina) in this option, and doesn't not do the same for Madeleine, it is likely that she was allowed to decorate for the other team, but not with much input from the captain.

This pie has a rose design, which is beautiful but lacks the intricacy and the challenge of the Cordonian Royal Seal, which the MC can suggest in the diamond scene. It's possible that by default, Madeleine handled the baking herself (since Penelope couldn't even boil water and in fact is so distracted she unwittingly helps sabotage the pie), and Hana was assigned strictly decoration duties. But even these possibilities rely on conjecture and guesswork, with no real dialogue or interaction shown.

There are no other scenes where the two women talk or do anything together. Hana may be present in one or two scenes where Madeleine is speaking (such as the dining scene in Ch 17 where Madeleine tells the court ladies about the upcoming Engagement Tour), but the two never directly engage with each other. It's more likely that (like Maxwell and Penelope, or Drake and Kiara), the writers may have thought of Hana and Madeleine only in the second or third book - more likely the third, but there are possible hints in TRR2 if you squint.

Hana is an interesting anomaly among the cast of TRR. She is both Cordonian and foreigner; the ways of the Cordonian court are, in equal parts, both familiar and confusing to her. This serves as an double-edged advantage to the MC - Hana is both skilled and knowledgeable enough to ease her into the culture, and isolated and vulnerable enough for the MC to step up as a hero on occasion. We also find out in Lythikos (TRR1 Ch 7) that she was so deep in the closet that she couldn't fully articulate her struggle to love the romantic English noble who wanted to marry her, in the presence of the woman she was slowly beginning to love. Within the competition itself, Hana is shown having a hard time finding people who will associate with her, often shown left out of events and her yacht party abandoned during the Regatta. The broken engagement could have a hand in making her appear to be struggling in the competition, but tbh Olivia is the only one who brings it up. Overall, she does well in the competition, but gets little credit for the same.

Madeleine is the polar opposite of this. Even though the ladies of the court initially view her with a mixture of pity and respect (due to her broken engagement with Leo, and her position as a Countess and winner of the previous season), their views on Madeleine once she enters the competition range from anger (Olivia), to speculation (Kiara and Penelope), to indifference and later suspicion (the MC).

Madeleine comes into the social season with several advantages: her pedigree and her years of experience at court. Both Bertrand and the MC note that Madeleine hails from a "powerful family" and "is immersed in the intrigues and maneuverings of courtly life", and therefore the MC is cautioned by Applewood to pay more attention to her than to Olivia. If the MC fails to win court favour, both Penelope and Kiara show allegiance to Madeleine. Where Hana is shown to be vulnerable despite her skills, charm and intelligence, Madeleine is meant to be viewed with respect even by her peers - and expected not to return that respect to others unless they're the king and queen.

I often view the Madeleine of Book 1 (and early TRR2), and the Madeleine of the latter half of Book 2, as two separate people (more on that in the next section). Early Madeleine was depicted as a clear threat. While she does nothing too out-of-pocket during the competition, her threats to the MC once she is (optionally) the favourite frontrunner, her singular focus on only the king and queen (and largely ignoring the Prince), and inability to respectfully lose, ensure that the reader registers her as a figure of danger early on. The first time she (optionally) faces an obvious loss and sees the MC crowned as Apple Queen, Madeleine tells her to "savour these moments. You may never hear the phrase again".

Her very extreme attempts to belatedly win Liam's favour after ignoring him the entire season (we later find out that she barged into his sleeping quarters the previous night and suggested the arrangement that Liam speaks about in TRR2), earns her speculative looks from the MC and wariness from Liam himself. Given that the outcome was so different in TRR2 but the buildup to said outcome was so rushed and chaotic, there is a 70/30 chance that Madeleine's buildup in Book 1 was meant to highlight her as someone with the capability to harm the MC, rather than just as a red herring. At the very most, Book 1 would highlight her as powerful, with the intention that Book 2 would follow through with showing her as a cog in a very vicious machine.

But because Madeleine's actions in TRR1 don't result in any direct harm, it's honestly hard to envision her as dangerous beyond the subtle threats (that people could brush off as basic rivalry) and rank classism.

Would Hana's pairing with the Madeleine of TRR1 have worked? It's equally hard to say. If we take only Book 1 into account, and ignore the very real possibility of a threat that Madeleine represents, there's a sliver of a chance that such a pairing could work...if Madeleine works on herself. At this point she hasn't manifested as a direct threat to Hana in a way that, say, Olivia has - and all the MC has at this point are theories and speculation. You'd have to probably change half of Madeleine's characterization, but it could be workable if the foundation for such a pairing was mutual respect from the start.

Still, when you take into consideration that Madeleine being involved in the plot against the MC was a very legitimate possibility, it's hard to see any opening for this pairing. Even Penelope - whose coddling from the narrative knew no limits - was no longer entertained as a potential alternative romance for an LI the moment her role in the plot was uncovered. If any harm was done to the MC, and Madeleine was found to be behind it, there is no way Hana would even be allowed to entertain the thought of her as an alternative LI at all.

You see - hurting Hana is no big deal. But hurting the MC and still getting an LI to show interest in you? Now that would be beyond the pale!

Madeleine: A Red Herring...Or A Villain Retconned?

As I have mentioned earlier, there is one writer - who has seniority in the company because of his many years there, who has always been in charge of Madeleine's writing, and who has always loved writing her. On close inspection one can say for certain that Jeffrey Herdman had a fair bit of sway in the team itself, especially from the fact that one of his weirdest writing suggestions - the MC's supposed obsession with hats - was retained in the books as a gag for a very, very long time (TRF finale livestream interview). When you take both Jeffrey's sway in the team, and the writing of Madeleine in TRR2 and 3 (and beyond), one can make several educated guesses about what Madeleine was built up to be, and how that changed midway.

Plenty of fan posts written in the gap between TRR1's finale and TRR2's release, took for granted that Madeleine would have some role to play in the plot against the MC. While one may assume this was due to "jealousy" from players or "hate for a bitchy character", there were enough signs in TRR1 and 2 that this was the route the narrative was initially planning to take with her.

The MC does voice suspicions of Madeleine in the first book - mostly after Madeleine herself voices threats to the MC during the Apple Queen ceremony. Madeleine also looks apprehensive at the (optional) public support Liam shows towards the MC at the Beaumont estate, and even shows him a suspiciously huge amount of attention at the Coronation. The MC even confronts Madeleine during the Coronation festivities when she gets a note threatening her to withdraw from the competition, believing it was sent by the latter. But beyond this, Madeleine's own words in TRR1 often sound ominous and laced with subtle threats. Still - going by just TRR1's evidence, Madeleine could still work as a good red herring, since she's not exactly crossed a clear line with anyone yet.

TRR2 seems to go in one direction when it comes to Madeleine's arc, then makes a sharp pivot in the opposite direction post Chs 7 and 8. The first half of the book has both the MC and Liam regard her with doubt and suspicion, especially when the MC learns that Madeleine had come to Liam's rooms the night before the Coronation, and insisted he continue the relationship with the MC on the sly while making her the queen. The book presents several contrasts between Madeleine and the MC, presenting their possible ruling styles and envisioning how each woman would fare as a future queen.

In a diamond scene in TRR2 Ch 4, Liam asks the MC how she would handle a plate of curry chicken falling on someone - an incident that has already occurred in some playthroughs to Madeleine (who got recognizably frustrated and called the whole episode "a disaster"). In contrast, the MC can claim she would either defuse the situation with humour or help clear the mess - both of which establish that unlike Madeleine the MC knows how to adapt to different situations, and prefers to find a solution rather than take her frustrations out on everyone else. Liam points out the differences between the two women as the MC "having perspective... every gaffe isn't a disaster".

Multiple scenes in the story focus on Madeleine's rigidity, her inability to adapt, her hunger for power, her belief that becoming queen gives her a free pass to be a tyrant, her hubris that allows her to outright harm some of her ladies in waiting and believe she will never face consequences, and her overall lack of real impact during her own engagement tour (only if the MC fails miserably does the Italian statesman Francesco even mention Madeleine). A lot of this buildup indicates that she won't be as effective a queen as other characters claim she will be.

Her overall behaviour in the first half of TRR2 seems to highlight overconfidence, and a willingness to overstep every possible boundary in the belief that nothing will now prevent her from getting what she wants ("the best part about being Queen is that I don't have to explain myself to anyone. Including you."). Even though she isn't queen yet, both Madeleine and everyone around her behave as if she has already been crowned! That kind of overconfidence - especially from someone who should know better than anyone that winning the competition doesn't necessarily mean she'll be crowned - makes more sense when she is aware that there are powerful people (like the former king and her aunt, the former queen) to back her.

There is also the fact that Penelope's involvement in the plot never got any proper buildup. There is just one scene, in TRR2 Ch 6, where she speaks about feeling uncomfortable at parties and balls, and how much she hates crowds. The reveal of her being the culprit is in Ch 7; the reveal of her social anxiety is in Ch 8. Before this, you have zero indicators of her being involved in this level of deception - even though her history of "social anxiety" should have ideally made that kind of subterfuge difficult, and she should have been able to leave a few tells, signalling her guilt. It is very clear on rereads that Penelope's involvement in the plot was a last-minute narrative decision.

But perhaps the strongest evidence that TRR2 was originally meant to establish Madeleine as part of the plot against the MC, is a line from the very first scene of the book. When a confused MC asks Bertrand how it's possible for Liam to break his engagement, Bertrand mentions a constitutional provision:

"The king is able to change his selection in specific cases for the good of the nation". The MC being proven as framed and unfairly disgraced achieves very little in this context, because the focus is clearly on the king's final choice. This means that the engagement cannot be voided on the basis of the MC being innocent, but on the basis of Madeleine being unfit for the role.

What happens to this "constitutional clause" once Penelope is declared the culprit among the court ladies rather than Madeleine? It disappears completely. If she was really meant to be a red herring from the start, the team would never have added this line in the first place. Nor would they have left the "buildup" for Penelope's anxiety till Ch 6, just one chapter before her reveal. If Madeleine was really meant to be a mere red herring from the start, there would have been more than just one crumb presented for that trail.

It is highly possible that the team had plans for Madeleine to be involved in the plot, or in something shady enough to justify breaking the engagement. It is just as highly possible that Jeffrey, the writer in charge of her character, allowed his favouritism for that character to dictate his writing of her, and convinced the team to change the trajectory of the story to benefit her.

Hana and Madeleine - The First Half of TRR2

Most of the interactions between Hana and Madeleine in TRR2 are overshadowed by one incident in Ch 7 - the one most popularly known as "the chocolate incident". Madeleine was already not too popular as a character when this scene came out, but her admission that she wanted to break Hana crossed enough of a line that a number of players would bring it up as a reason for why they couldn't ever like her, no matter how often she was retconned in canon.

A common misconception made about the "chocolate incident" from Madeleine lovers and haters alike, is that it's viewed as a singular episode rather than as an escalation in an ongoing pattern of threats that Madeleine was already making to Hana.

Viewing it as an isolated incident is precisely what allowed both Madeleine stans, and the canon narrative itself, to severely downplay what Madeleine did, and what she openly declared she would continue doing to Hana. Therefore, it is essential to look into Hana and Madeleine's interactions before Ch 7, as well as the context behind Hana's return to court and the very real and grave threat that Madeleine represents to Hana specifically.

To do this, we must first look into how Hana's return to court (after her parents forced her to leave post Coronation) is depicted. There are two versions of this story - Madeleine's version...and the truth.

Madeleine's Version: "If it wasn't for me, she'd still be on the other side of the world. I've heard dogs remember those who feed them. I hope you'll keep this in mind and remember that dear Hana is here by my personal invitation". This is a half-truth at best and ironically, this is the version Hana sticks to. She is never allowed to tell us differently.

The truth, as said by Liam to Hana post Coronation: "I am the King of Cordonia. I'm sure Lady Madeleine knows that if she wants to keep our engagement, she'll have to give me something. Perhaps I can convince her to make you part of her court". Hana never gets to tell us this. That honour is given to Drake!

Even after the MC (optionally) gets to know this truth, she never talks to Hana about it, and Hana is never allowed to veer from Madeleine's narrative even in private. In the process, Madeleine gets to use her half-truth as a form of blackmail - threatening Hana at least twice to send her back to China if she paces even one toe out of Madeleine's arbitrary line.

In TRR2 Ch 4, Madeleine is shown antagonizing her entire court (ordering Penelope to get lemonade and comparing her to dogs, telling Kiara to exoticize herself by not speaking in English [which itself has colonial/Orientalist connotations]). But none is more ominous and disturbing than her subtle threat to Hana before introducing her to the two suitors:

Being sent back to her parents is a terrifying prospect for Hana...for two reasons. For one, Hana is committed to being there for the MC, to contributing to her investigation (and she does! Massively. Perhaps more than anyone else in the group). For another, she is just beginning to realize what a damaging environment her parents' house is, and she also knows they are already growing suspicious that she hasn't found another suitor yet. By the end of this conversation, Hana is visibly distraught... to the point of needing moral support (something she rarely asks for herself).

Remember - this is an arbitrary rule Madeleine comes up with, that applies only to Hana. In the same conversation, neither Kiara nor Penelope are placed under this kind of pressure. Though Penelope claims in Ch 6 that her parents won't allow her to come home if she doesn't get a suitor, Madeleine doesn't levy any other threats of this nature on her (she harms Penelope in other ways).

Madeleine is aware that Liam was the one responsible for Hana's return. It is implied that she is also aware that neither Liam nor Hana can say this in public. By this coin, she'd know that she shouldn't be the one who can take a call on sending Hana back - Liam is. Yet she issues this sort of a threat, and worse still...is allowed to get away with it through Hana and the MC's silence, both in private and in public.

Unlike the MC and Olivia, the other three ladies of the court are present in official positions to the future Queen, and are expected to publicly pledge loyalty to her. The narrative of TRR2 alone seems to give the King's fiancèe powers and influences similar to an actual Queen Consort's. And Hana, Kiara and Penelope aren't just random "court members" - they are Madeleine's ladies-in-waiting. They cannot even speak to certain people unless she approves of it (Ch 1), she orders them around with the disrespect that many in that nobility reserve for their servants (Penelope in Ch 4), she publicly humiliates and insults them if they make a single mistake (eg. Penelope not getting a metallic dress in time for the bachelorette), and she can get away with causing them grievous harm (Hana). There is no actual point to any of this behaviour - it achieves nothing and (by the narrative parameters of the third book) is actually foolish, because Madeleine's actions could cost the royal family their relationship with the Great Houses. Neither the MC nor Liam (the actual monarch), would be allowed by the narrative later to abuse their power the way Madeleine can, in a position that isn't even hers yet!

It is easy to view Madeleine's interactions with Hana and Penelope especially, as just some regular mean-girls shit, with all the excuses, justifications and crocodile tears that the fandom can shower on said white/white-passing mean girls. Canon itself encourages this reading when they use the word "hazing" to describe what Madeleine put Hana through. But when we speak of Madeleine's behaviour in her engagement tour that way, we miss a very important aspect of her dynamic with these two women. They are no longer competitors or mere allies. They are not just people she knows in court.

They are not Madeleine's equals. They are her employees. She is directly in a position of immense, unquestioned and unchecked power over them. Publicly, she has the authority to invite them into her court, and to throw them out of their jobs. It is from that lens, that we must view her behaviour, especially in Ch 7.

The "Chocolate Incident" and Its Aftermath

Another reason to believe Jeffrey's favouritism for Madeleine allowed for an actual change in the story, is the way this above scene - and the ones preceding it - were handled immediately in both the immediate and long-term aftermath.

Often dubbed "the chocolate incident", this scene takes place in Italy (the first stop of the engagement tour) during Madeleine's bachelorette. For anyone who has forgotten the incident, Madeleine's ladies-in-waiting are supposed to organize different fun activities for her bachelorette, and the MC uses each event as both a PR exercise and an opportunity to check the credit cards of the ladies.

The final activity is Hana's, an intricately-planned chocolate fondue party complete with chocolate-themed games and treats. If one reads too much between the lines, one could maybe notice the tiniest sliver of a romantic hint in Hana's conversation with the MC over her confusing an actual bachelorette party with the show The Bachelorette (It is just as possible tho - if not more - that this is a comic aside pointing to Hana's lack of exposure to modern media).

However, things take a turn for the worst at this juncture. Madeleine heavily berates Hana for not knowing that she is "allergic to chocolate", accusing her of an attempt to murder and even threatening to remove her from her position in court. This leaves Hana so distraught that she ruins her own dress in the process, and is damn near inconsolable. The MC can - if she chooses - comfort Hana along with their friends. At the end of the night, a heavily drunk Madeleine gleefully admits she lied about the allergy and gloats about wanting to keep hurting Hana till she breaks, because she "wants to have a little fun".

She claims, when asked why, that it's because "everyone wants something, but the nice ones like Hana don't even have the decency to act like it". Which sounds like the sort of sick logic that fandom often happily accepts from their favourite white antagonists, where they can project whatever sob story they want to make such a reasoning palatable. Such attempts ignore the fact that Madeleine is torturing someone for supposed "duplicity" when she is herself well-known for being insincere.

Later, when it was convenient for the fandom to hate on Hana, she would be either blamed for the torture Madeleine put her through (because she was "weak" or "too nice", or that she was "spineless and deserved this treatment". I even saw posts that claimed it "wasn't that bad" (in the case of one particularly memorable instance, a Madeleine stan went so far as to say, agreeing with a post expressing a fondness for Madeleine: "...before anyone mentions the chocolate prank: Did Hana die, tho?"). Some also tried to reason that it was fair for Madeleine to target Hana, either to showcase her "wiles" or because of her sad sad childhood.

As I pointed out earlier, every single one of these takes tend to downplay Madeleine's bullying/abuse so that it sounds more like a schoolyard squabble that happened only once, rather than a person in power consistently placing their employee's job under threat, with the stated intention of harming them mentally and emotionally on a regular basis, until they experienced a breakdown. The center of this conflict isn't about different people with different approaches. Nor is it about court maneuvering or wiles because honestly, nothing worthwhile was achieved through Madeleine's abuse, and she had no purpose for doing those things beyond deriving a sick pleasure from other people's suffering.

It isn't about nice vs tough, nor ambitious vs generous, nor "naive" vs "jaded". It is about a gross power imbalance. An imbalance that results in the exploitation of the more vulnerable party...which is later brushed aside by the one who claims to be the latter's "friend" like it means nothing.

Structure wise, one can see striking similarities between this chapter, and TRR1's Ch 7, where the MC can view Olivia in a new light in the first half of the chapter, but be disturbed by her vindictive nature by the end of it. Here too, the MC comes into the investigation of the credit cards fully expecting to see Madeleine as the culprit. Over the course of the evening she finds Madeleine treating her ladies-in-waiting badly, but also calling out the press for targeting only the MC but staying silent on Tariq's involvement (ironically, Madeleine herself didn't exactly believe the MC if she tells her she was set up). She is also shocked when she realises Madeleine isn't the culprit at the club. Still, the court is given a rude shock when Hana is accused of putting Madeleine's life in danger.

Clearly the aim of such a chapter was to make the MC soften a little towards Madeleine, while still keeping some of the antagonistic tension. However, the more direct impact of Madeleine's huge ego trip on Hana made the harm far more visible than Olivia's jibes towards a woman who was far away...plus the scenes that followed in the former sequence centered Drake, far more than the ones in the latter that involved comforting Hana.

Madeleine's bullying also clashes - quite conveniently - with the reveal of Penelope's betrayal, so that the latter overshadows what Hana went through altogether.

It is important to note at this point that the MC is the only person not directly tied in an alliance to Madeleine (besides Olivia and Maxwell, who are then missing at the fashion show backstage scene in Paris) who knows Madeleine's intentions towards Hana. She is the only person present at the event in Paris, who knows that Madeleine intended to continue harassing her until she broke. Hana herself is never made fully aware of this, and if she is left in a vulnerable, dangerous position while on her mission to support the MC's investigation - then the fault lies to a large extent with the MC for keeping silent, rather than protecting her friend from someone who fully intended to hurt her.

I say this because in France (Ch 8), the MC's exposing of Madeleine is by choice, rather than default (this essay has a full breakdown of said scene). Moreover, the option where the MC can "expose" her will result in Madeleine lying about the act being an "official hazing" she does for all her ladies-in-waiting. Not only does the MC neglect to contest Madeleine's claims (or even tell Hana the full truth in secret), she also parrots Madeleine's lie in a conversation with Adeleide in NY, as if it were the truth (Ch 14).

Remember how I mentioned Jeffrey - the writer who was in charge of Madeleine's scenes and sang her praises in TRR2's pre-release interview? His influence here is obvious in the way the narrative sharply pivots away from Madeleine's characterization so far, to engage in a full-blown pity party.

The abuses of her power (towards Hana and Penelope in particular) stop. The parallels that canon makes between Madeleine and the MC as future Queens, stop. No reference, ever, is made of her actions before Ch 8.

For over seven chapters, Madeleine largely fades into the background - sometimes there will be scenes where she is present, but without any dialogue or actions. Sometimes she may make a catty move like getting the MC to pick up her wedding ring, but from a safe distance. Because she doesn't openly antagonize anyone or show up much in Chs 9-15, the sense of distance could allow some to soften in their memories of her. Especially when the only strong reminders of Madeleine in these chapters come from Adeleide, her mother.

Adeleide is an important cog in the machinery that resulted in the retconning of Madeleine's character in TRR2. Without her, Patriotic!Madeleine wouldn't have become canon. Adeleide sets the stage for this extremely inaccurate reading of her, with complaints on two occasions about how Madeleine is "putting too much pressure on herself" and working too hard. Which contradicts her very real actions in Applewood and Italy, where she regularly antagonized her entire court and where she doesn't get much notable approval from foreign dignitaries (Signor Francesco) unless the MC is that bad.

The narrative, at this point, expects us to view her with sympathy, as someone who could have been "an excellent queen" (Adeleide's words, not mine). The stage is clearly set so that we pity her when Liam calls off the engagement and she loses this position, that we can see her loss as "unfair". It ensures that there is an overflow of sympathy for Madeleine's plight, especially since she had already lost her chance to become Queen once before with Leo. By this point, many readers had actually forgotten the "chocolate incident" altogether, and were more than willing to view Madeleine as a patriot who wasn't given her due. A description that, ironically, more accurately fits Hana.

Is Hana Really Just A Nice Girl who Never Fights Back?

As I mentioned before, Hana's "niceness" and "weakness" were sometimes presented in fandom as justifications/reasons for Madeleine's bullying of her, often in an attempt to shift blame or make it sound like Madeleine's stated "reasons" (in TRR2 Ch 7) to hurt her were legitimate. Almost as if to say that Hana was targeted because she presents herself as an easy target.

To be clear, I don't subscribe to such a train of thought myself. Different people react to bullies and abusers in different ways - and not being able to push back aggressively in tense situations doesn't make anyone a lesser person. In fact, canon itself doesn't mind providing a "weaker" person protection against someone like Madeleine...as long as that person is Penelope. So we cannot even claim that Hana's "weakness" is why Madeleine targets her, or why the MC shouldn't have to protect Hana better.

Canon also doesn't help much in this respect, especially with their preferences for the meaner white women. In fact the narrative doesn't even allow Hana the chance to speak up in private against Madeleine's half-truths about her return, and she is made to easily accept Madeleine's "hazing" excuse. Let's not even get into how she speaks about Madeleine in TRR3. Additionally, no one in Hana's own friend group provides adequate protection or support - they stay silent where it counts.

But is Hana really that incapable of fighting for herself? According to the finale of TRR1, no.

Even though the scene is hidden behind a paywall, Hana's pushback against Olivia's treatment of her during the social season is strong, decisive and done entirely on her own initiative, with no prompting or involvement from the MC. She is honest about the ways in which Olivia has hurt her, but also makes it clear that Olivia's opinions and vitriol no longer matter - effectively reclaiming her own power in the process.

Such a scene is a clear indicator that Hana is capable of pushing back, and isn't afraid to speak truth to power - as early as TRR1. While one could say that as a diamond scene, it is possible that it can't be fully shown as canon - there are ways the writers know how to incorporate such things. Often, they have managed to write in similar scenes or the same information into free scenes later on (eg. the selling of Liam's bachelor party photos, which wasn't even that important to the story of TRR2). Hana could have had a free pushback scene with Olivia if the writers really wanted to give her one.

That aside, it's safe to say that there is a precedent for Hana being able to fight back before TRR2, and canon could have found ways to ensure that she could safely do so with Madeleine too. Or at least have more protection and care from her friend group, if her position as lady-in-waiting prevented her from speaking out. Penelope got to demand protection later on, after all - and she wasn't even our friend.

We must also take into account the positions of power that Madeleine, Olivia and later even the MC hold. Madeleine is a countess in line to become queen in TRR2. Olivia is a duchess, and the MC herself is given this honour in Book 2. Hana - despite her skills, knowledge and charm - never gets lands, nor a title unless she marries the MC. Hana's experience in Cordonia isn't just about "other women" being mean to her with the MC being "not like other girls" - all three of the above women are in positions of power over her, and even the nicest of them uses her more often than she helps.

TRR2 doesn't exactly build Hana and Madeleine as a pair. In hindsight one can read romantic hints into Madeleine's mocking usage of the word "darling" around Hana, Hana's attempt to replicate The Bachelorette for Madeleine's bachelorette party, and read parallels into both their toxic family histories (particularly Hana with her mother and Madeleine with her father). But there is no actual romantic content there that one could find with the other three pairs, which leads me to believe that Hana and Madeleine was only taken seriously as a romantic prospect in TRR3.

How did Madeleine become the final romantic choice for Hana, and no one else? Because the relationship was never made Hana's benefit - it was for Madeleine's. Given all the evidence laid out about TRR1!Madeleine, TRR2!Madeleine and including hints that she may have actually been written as the villain at some point, it's more likely that Madeleine's main writer ensured some changes in the writing of his favourite character midway into the story, resulting in her staying longer in court and several retcons that painted her as a tragic heroine and completely erased any actions that contradicted such a narrative.

This specific narrative also seems to draw upon a narrative trope that is seen sometimes in certain stories featuring queer couples - the Armoured Closted Gay. It is employed often enough, mostly to show the pervasiveness and immense pressure heteronormativity can have on some queer people - that sometimes, they hate themselves for not adhering to the norm and therefore project that self-hatred onto people like them. PB had done a similar kind of story in TF and ILITW - with Zig and an aggressive teammate Manny (but with discussions on sexual harassment and about being closeted) and with Lily Oritz and her crush Britney. Unlike Zig's and Lily's cases though, this sort of narrative hardly centers on Hana.

Hana is hardly treated as a person in her own right in this narrative. She is treated as a "consolation prize" for Madeleine's "good behaviour" and "hard work". Which is still a really, really hard story to sell when one of the characters states outright that they'd abuse their power over the other till she breaks.

So how does PB get back from that kind of cruelty, and convert it into an actual romance?

Madeleine in TRR3 - The Royal Retcon

(In order: MC complimenting Madeleine to Godfrey (Ch 3), response to Madeleine's "send my regards to Hana (Ch 9), Madeleine asking for a dance (Ch 16), Optional response about memories of Madeleine's bachelorette in Hana's Vegas diamond scene (Ch 16))

By gaslighting an entire fandom, of course.

TRR3 requires us at the very start to do two things - to recruit Madeleine into replacing Justin as our press secretary, and to convince her family to join the Unity Tour so that Cordonia knows its nobility stands with the Crown. Until this point, we've only had hints of Madeleine's so-called "patriotism", mostly from Adeleide. TRR3 Ch 3 goes full force on this reading: having Madeleine claim (in the most positive option) that all her efforts to become queen was "for my people...it was always for Cordonia", having Hana claim that Madeleine "would mostly likely take a bullet for Liam... because you'd never leave Cordonia without a King". Coupled with Godfrey and Adeleide's toxic family dynamics, the story is set to push forward a narrative where we are meant to sympathize with her and preferably downplay her behaviour from the previous book.

Throughout Madeleine's tenure as press sec, we are expected to laud her "work" - even though the truth is that she makes our work harder by giving us heavy folders and 100 note cards of materials just minutes before our meetings, and leaving out important information (like Zeke) for us to scramble about and find. Where during her time as future queen, her ladies-in-waiting were expected to have every detail perfect as per her desires otherwise face her wrath - as our employee, we are expected to appreciate efforts alone, and be lenient when she doesn't follow our rules (eg. wearing gold for our bachelorette when she was supposed to wear muted colours, trying to sneak in a white dress to our wedding). Most of our responses to her "work" involve fulsome praise, or at most a very light criticism that still claims she's good at her job (she isn't). And it isn't just the MC - even Justin (who recommended her) and Hana are made to sing her praises.

Having canon claim Madeleine does a good job when she actually doesn't is... frustrating, but not as awful as the retconning they do for her past behaviour. But it is part of a pattern that whitewashes Madeleine altogether so the readers can consider her deserving of the rewards that the narrative so badly wants to give her, whether her actual conduct matches up to these fulsome praises or not.

One clear tactic that is used to achieve this, was to have the person she harmed the most, speak of her in glowing terms. In TRR3 Ch 3, you have at least two instances during the "Cordonia's Most" game where Hana uses the game to compliment Madeleine. Here, she compliments Madeleine on knowing how to "charm a crowd...her confidence and poise", and claims her to be very patriotic. If the MC refuses to coddle Madeleine during their private conversation, the onus to be kind to her rests solely on Hana's shoulders, where she is required to say, "maybe it's time to see if you can catch more flies with honey". Hana is also shown wanting to include Madeleine in group activities (TRR3 Ch 6, before going to the spa), in the same way she tried to include Olivia in TRR2. When we're shown a Hana who is not only willing but enthusiastic to speak to Madeleine, it further encourages the reader to befriend her - almost as if to say, "if Hana doesn't mind being friendly with her, why should you?".

And this wouldn't be possible at all if canon was honest about Madeleine's conduct in TRR2. So much about Madeleine's advice to us in TRR3 directly contradicts her own behaviour as future queen in TRR2 ("having an entourage isn't about vanity...it's about support"). Had canon actually been honest about her conduct, this statement would be viewed as extremely ironic, a huge portion of the blame for Penelope's reluctance to return to court would be (rightly) placed on Madeleine's shoulders and we would be able to call her out specifically on her tyrannical behaviour as future queen, as well as her inability to adjust her work to suit her client now. We would not be placing Madeleine on a pedestal ad nauseum, or paying much attention to her childish complaints that her "efforts" are going unappreciated.

Whenever the early part of the engagement tour is referenced, it is spoken of in the vaguest, most milquetoast terms. The narrative will speak vaguely of "meanness", but never actually specify what Madeleine did. The closest we get to any sort of confirmation of this is in the Costume Gala (Ch 9) if the MC warns Madeleine to stay away from Hana...and even there, the MC just says she did "mean things". Which is the mildest possible way I have seen of someone describing a person who gloated about breaking Hana. Like the word "hazing" from the previous book, all these vague references leave it to the readers' faint memories, or imagination, to figure out what Madeleine did.

But all of these are just hints at best, and most of what we could assume of the writers' intentions came largely from guesswork. There was constantly a sense of something not being right, but many of us at the time couldn't completely articulate it. That is, until Ch 16, and only if we pressed a specific option in the Vegas diamond scene, in just Hana's playthrough:

Unlike the previous scenes - which were mostly attempts to obfuscate the events of the previous book - this scene replaces what actually happened with blatant lies. Not only does it wipe out entirely what Madeleine did, replacing it with a casual comment from Hana about her "fun side", it also smears Kiara for something she didn't do at all during the bachelorette (for clarity, Kiara found out she was a great dancer, and looked quite annoyed if the MC chose a wrong dialogue option as an excuse to see her card. The MC never saw her lashing out at Penelope during this event). Even if the MC and Hana were so drunk that night that they wouldn't remember events clearly (which isn't how they're depicted at all when the "chocolate incident" took place), it wouldn't be replaced with things that never actually happened. The writers were more than ready to throw Kiara under the bus to make Madeleine look better, and have those lies come out of Hana's mouth (and mind you, Hana liked Kiara so much she chose her to be her MoH in Ch 18 of her playthrough, so it can't even have been spite towards Kiara on her part).

In contrast, Penelope is allowed to be open about Madeleine's mistreatment of her. In fact she cites it as the main reason for her reluctance to return to court, and even complains at the MC if the latter asks her if she didn't get the memo on the bachelorette dress code in TRR3 Ch 16 ("oh no, no, it's like Madeleine all over again!"). The group is required to protect her from Madeleine; in Ch 4, when Penelope is upset at the very sight of Madeleine, Drake comes to her rescue and reassures her ("She's with us, Penelope. We won't let her bite."). While Madeleine herself is protected from any consequences for what she did to Penelope (besides an optional tiny jibe in Ch 4), the MC and her group are required to reassure her that they will never allow it to happen again. In a very disgusting contrast, the narrative pushes Hana at the forefront of the diamond scene with Madeleine, without ever considering her comfort or safety around the person who wanted to break her. Not only does the group involve her without ever asking her if she wants to be part of it - Drake and Maxwell safely distance themselves when the time comes for Madeleine to speak personally about her troubles, and the MC can choose not to be sympathetic in certain dialogue options. Which means that the onus to comfort and persuade her is largely on Hana's shoulders. We must also remember that, unlike Penelope, Hana is deprived of the full truth of Madeleine's intentions in the last book too.

Where the writers were ready to at least admit that Madeleine's behaviour affected Penelope deeply, they went to the extent of completely rewriting the narrative of her TRR2 bachelorette to erase what she put Hana through.

The "Romance" in TRR3

(First four screenshots from my playthroughs, next four from the Adventure...Romance...Thrills YouTube Channel, and the final row's screenshots from the Annabelle Lee YouTube channel and the Skylia YouTube channel)

The Hana and Madeleine "romance" is hinted at in 5 scenes (4 in other playthroughs, and just one in Hana's own). As with most of the other romances, Madeleine's feelings are the most prominent. To the more romance-coded overtures, Hana's reaction is usually shock and disbelief, with a small suspicion over whether Madeleine is doing this to trick her into humiliation later. But the narrative gives her very little opportunity to even talk about anything related to Madeleine, especially anything negative. You do have a scene at the finale that is meant to provide closure, but not in a romantic way. This scene is very different from the others, and in some ways puts an end to the possibility of this relationship happening anytime soon.

How did we get from those scenes to this final one in Ch 22? It would be useful to look at the scenes, within the timeline of TRR3's release and with the context of fandom reactions.

1. The "Cordonia's Most" Scene (Ch 3)

This diamond scene is written to give the MC/reader a bit of background on Madeleine's past and family, which will prove useful later when she has to convince the Amaranths to fix their relationship with each other. It is set against the background of a drinking game where an asker can quiz everyone else about who would be the most likely to do a particular action. Hana references Madeleine twice in the game (in a very complimentary manner), and Madeleine references Hana once. It was her comment about Hana being "stupidly sweet and perfect" that caught the attention of some readers and made them wonder if that was the route PB was planning to take with Hana. This dialogue shows up in Hana's route as well.

In later chapters, we see instances of Hana trying to include Madeleine in group activities...such as in Ch 6 where she invites the latter to come with them to the spa after the football match with Jiro and Camellia.

2 and 3. Cross-Referencing Each Other at Costume Gala (Ch 9)

This is a very interesting development, at an equally interesting time. Around the time Ch 9 released (end-April 2018), PB announced that TRR's team would be taking a hiatus, mostly to work on "some exciting stuff" during that break. It also gave them the time to work on certain things the fandom was demanding, and do away with others due to stan vitriol (Kiara's attraction towards Drake being one of them). The next chapter would only appear a month and a half later (mid-June).

Ch 9 sneaked in a scene that hinted at Hana and Madeleine as a romance option, but in a way that made it very hard for players to notice on a casual read. The scene is split in two parts: the MC can choose to speak to either Hana and Olivia, or Maxwell, Justin and Madeleine. Hana and Olivia's scene shows the two commenting on Gala outfits, which kickstarts a conversation about diplomacy vs bluntness. The latter option explores a variety of topics, mostly revolving around an appreciation for Madeleine's "great work".

Both Hana and Madeleine reference each other in their scenes. Hana's dialogue depends on whether the MC is her fiancèe or not; in other playthroughs, she admires Madeleine's costume, the compliment on her good looks very personal. In her own playthrough, she compliments Kiara's outfit but in a more distant fashion ("subtle and clever, just like her...very well-chosen"). In Madeleine's scene (which is the same across playthroughs), the ending involves her telling the MC to "send my regards to Hana", in response to which she can choose a line of questioning (which ranges from "protective towards Hana" to largely indifferent. In all three options, thankfully, the MC can close with "don't let me catch you antagonizing her", but that really is one small mercy in a pile of blatant retconning.

What marks Hana's dialogue about Madeleine as an LI-specific option, is that she says something entirely different if the MC is getting married to her. This is an indication that the dialogue was intended to be read as romantic, and that it couldn't be said by an LI who was already in love and ready to marry the MC. Pretty much in the same way that Olivia in Liam's playthrough cannot hold his hand in Applewood or dance with him in Vegas.

I wrote an essay on this at the time - both on the possibility of the pairing and why it was a bad idea - and the overall response I received at the time was mixed. Those who remembered exactly what went down at Madeleine's bachelorette and weren't her fans hated the prospect, but some weren't as convinced and some refused to believe it would happen. So there was some pushback for it, citing Madeleine's "chocolate incident" (thankfully, since there were players who had forgotten about it), but it was very low-key and didn't gain much traction.

4. An Offer to Dance in Vegas (Ch 16)

The most obvious indication of Hana and Madeleine being a romantic possibility was in the Vegas chapter. It was impossible to miss for people who didn't romance Hana. This scene, again, featured only in playthroughs where Hana wasn't getting married - which meant that many Hana-romancers didn't get to know of this pairing unless they were told by a friend or saw any such posts on their dash (some even found out years later, to their shock and dismay).

The mild pushback from Ch 9 resulted in a scene where the writers could be emboldened to continue writing this pairing, but confirm (in the vaguest possible way) that Madeleine treated Hana badly. Madeleine's non-apology "apology" really reads more like an attempt to get into Hana's pants than actual regret, and is followed by a reaction from Hana that is confusing in its mildness. Hana is surprised at the offer to dance, asking Madeleine whether she's trying to trick her. While the mild suspicion is a slight improvement from Hana's fulsome praise and enthusiastic attempts to involve Madeleine in group stuff in previous chapters, it still downplays what Hana suffered at Madeleine's hands by making her present the weakest, most milquetoast examples of "fooling someone", examples that pale miserably in comparison to what Madeleine actually put Hana through.

With both the "stupidly sweet and perfect" dialogue and this scene, you'll notice that Madeleine is not only the one who initiates the conversation, but is also the only one with an actual voice in these exchanges. Forget having an opinion on whether she wants to have anything to do with Madeleine or not - the narrative doesn't even give poor Hana the opportunity to properly react beyond mere shock.

There was a stronger reaction to this scene than to the Ch 9 one, because it was way more visible (though you could avoid it just by letting Madeleine stay in her hotel) with Madeleine's romantic intentions on full display. Her asking Hana for a dance immediately after the no apology made it pretty obvious. Players who didn't see the Ch 9 scenes or who didn't believe the divergences meant anything, now couldn't deny that this was positioned as an alternative romance. Additionally by this time, those who forgot about the "chocolate incident" did get reminded of the exact scene, so the vagueness with which Madeleine "addressed" her actions in TRR2 felt criminally inadequate for a number of readers.

Most of us, however, didn't know about the retcon in Hana's Vegas scene, until years later. Those who didn't do Hana's playthrough would have had no idea, and those who did more likely chose the more romantic options.

5. "Jealous?" (Ch 20)

This scene is unique in that the option shows up across all playthroughs, but the specific reaction only shows up in two of them. It's understandable that Hana stans would have missed this - the dialogue is an option, the response is very fleeting and you would have to look through the same option in other playthroughs to recognise the variations.

In the cases of both Drake and Maxwell, Madeleine's response to this jibe from the MC is "ugh, please". Dismissive, almost mocking the idea that she would have any interest in them. In Liam's and Hana's cases, she appears shocked for a minute, then composes herself and gives a more neutral response ("I...I refuse to dignify such a ridiculous question with a response"). In Liam's case, one can safely assume that even though she had no romantic interest in him, she was still on the verge of marrying Liam and that alone would make the situation awkward. In Hana's case there is really no other reason for her to feel that awkward besides having lingering feelings that she cannot suppress.

While this version of the scene doesn't feature in playthroughs where she is single at all, it's still a very strong indicator of authorial intent. Even in the face of backlash against the pairing, the writers clearly wanted to continue hinting at the possibility, if they were slipping in hints of Madeleine's feelings for Hana as late as Ch 20 (just two chapters before the finale). The most plausible theory for this inclusion would be that the backlash was a lot more than it was after Ch 9, but not entirely enough to do away without the pairing completely...yet.

6. "I Wanted To Break You" (Ch 22)

No one knows what happened between Chs 20 and 22, and there's little I can think of that would account for such a quick change in such a short span of time. The finale has a scene featuring Hana and Madeleine, that begins by drawing more obvious parallels between the two women and their families (until now, the parallels were not as pronounced. It's not exactly a great parallel to begin with, since Madeleine has at least one supportive parent and doesn't get punished to the extent that Hana has been, if she openly protests against her parents' methods. But in TRR3 the narrative sometimes does use Hana's toxic parental situation as a parallel to garner sympathy for Madeleine's).

However, once the parents are out of the picture, the attention then turns to Hana and Madeleine, setting the stage for either a romantic confession or a full apology. This time, canon opts to go for the latter.

Unlike all the others, this scene is bluntly specific not just about what Madeleine did but what exactly her intentions were. It has her use the word "break"; it has her actually say the word "sorry". It allowed Hana, for the first time, to fully hear the truth about the harm Madeleine planned to wreck on her. And most importantly, it also allowed Hana her own voice in response to Madeleine's revelations, making it very clear to her that her forgiveness needed to be earned, over a period of time.

The dialogues used to talk about Madeleine's bachelorette in the finale are poles apart from the language they'd used earlier ("hazing", "put my ladies through their paces", "mean things", "refuse to coddle", "wronged"). The finale scene was a more accurate return to the original language and purpose of that bachelorette scene. In fact it sounds less like what canon had been attempting to gaslight their readers into believing thus far, and even seemed to borrow verbatim from the language of the readers who closely followed this issue.

One could call it a good closure scene on the surface level...but there are many, many problems with it.

One was the reaction of the MC. Her angry "excuse me?" in response to Madeleine's confession is still a very obvious retcon. It may have been done to preserve the myth that the MC is a good friend/wife to Hana, but reads as extremely dishonest when you remember that canonically, the MC knew the truth about Madeleine's intentions the whole time and just chose to leave Hana in the dark. It's an attempt to make the MC seem protective that ultimately rings false.

Another is the excuse Madeleine gives for why she targeted Hana. "I wanted to push Hana too far, and for her to drop the nice-girl act once and for all! Only, it isn't an act, is it?" My response when I first read this was "if Hana was faking it...so what. So fucking what. Who was she harming". Coming from the reigning queen of duplicity herself, Madeleine is really not in a position to be judging anyone for putting up a front. This also ties into the hollowness of the motives PB tried to belatedly cook up for TRR2 Madeleine's bullying - no matter what canon says to whitewash her actions, her attempts achieved nothing, did no good for Cordonia, and would likely have led to a very fractured court if the Unity Tour was held while she was queen.

Ultimately, the possibility of this pairing becoming canon was laid to rest in the final chapter. One could interpret Madeleine's promise of a starting gesture ("know that if anyone at court gives you trouble, I can make them regret it") as a possible opening to something more, but considering the earlier backlash, that was unlikely.

TRH - Madeleine Gets The Penelope Treatment, Hana Gets Her Entire Childhood History Retconned.

An interesting development that came up when TRH dropped was the departure of Jeffrey Herdman from the team, most likely because he was heavily involved in the writing of its Renaissance-era spin-off The Royal Masquerade. He would return, by TRF (he is part of their finale livestream), but by then his pet favourite character was likely gone.

TRH has a different set of circumstances, and different power dynamics. The MC is settled into marriage and trying for a child, the LIs are working in the council, Olivia is upgraded to cosplaying spymaster and the side characters go on with their lives. The first book of TRH seemed to do a surface-level recognition of some of the complaints certain readers had in previous books, but their favourites and the people who wouldn't get much attention or appreciation, remained the same.

TRH1 was a time when the writers praised Hana and claimed in a livestream that she was the kind of LI they would love to marry, but also where they gave her a condition that (inaccurately) made her unable to safely carry children (just for the MC to be the mother of the heir) and forced her to be immediately okay with that fate. As the sequel series progressed over the course of 4 books, the erasure of all that Hana was in the past was subtle and insidious - the narrative often compared her to Olivia and found her lesser, she was never allowed to even mention her home place China and worst of all - the writing completely retconned the emotional abuse she suffered at home by claiming it emerged from loving protection, from wanting to keep their daughter away from a cult. And even though Hana's discovery of her sexuality was described by Kara as a "journey that she's still on", no attempts were ever made to show her exploring what she likes romantically, or to show her dating. We don't know if she's involved with anyone, we don't know where she lives, we learn very little of her interests beyond what benefits the MC at any given moment, and the narrative never fails to remind us that they like Olivia more than they like her. Hell, they still encourage Olivia to keep insulting and degrading Hana! Hardly the behaviour of writers who love a character so much they would marry them irl, honestly.

On the other hand, Madeleine wasn't very prominent in TRH1, but gained notoriety in the next two books. The first book has her occasionally engage in inappropriate, invasive badgering of the MC to get pregnant quickly, and she continues to pretend that her doing whatever she likes without ever consulting the person in charge is professional behaviour (eg. Setting up the presscon about the MC's pregnancy announcement. She never even considers whether the MC would be comfortable announcing this pregnancy or not at this time). She gets to deliver a small bit of foreshadowing in the second half of the book (an early hint about Queen Eleanor's pregnancy, though Madeleine's awareness of it hardly makes sense when you look at the entire TRH series, and it never comes up as a point again). Her father being exposed as the traitor who poisoned the former queen builds up to a storyline that benefits her the most in the long run.

Hana is given one chapter where she can call Madeleine out on her entitlement (Savannah's bachelorette). She doesn't insult or berate Madeleine in TRH1 Ch 7, but is refreshingly no-nonsense and will not put up with Madeleine's constant whining about an event she had invited herself to. It's a small, cold comfort, since Hana's actions here are tied to making Savannah's bachelorette a success rather than for herself - but it's still gratifying to see Hana in a position where she can call people out without having to worry about the repercussions. Especially when the narrative disrespects Hana in so, so many other ways for the rest of the series.

In the same chapter, the ladies of the court are given an opportunity to talk about their love lives. Of the four, two women can speak about the people they like (Penelope about Ezekiel by default, and Olivia about Liam if you choose), and one only mentions him by name if the MC is married to someone else (Kiara, about Drake, if you choose to ask her over Madeleine). Madeleine doesn't mention anyone at all, insisting that marriage is something she will only consider for the benefit of her country or estate. This was a relief to players who feared that PB might attempt to push the possibility of romance between Madeleine and Hana again.

Though Madeleine doesn't get the romance that PB so desperately wanted to gift her in the last series, and she isn't given any further romances...the narrative clearly wasn't done pandering to her, even though Jeffrey was not officially a part of the team.

Remember how in the previous essay, we explored the levels to which PB encouraged players to coddle Penelope? Entire chapters would be spent just making her feel comfortable and safe, in encouraging her to help us. No actual initiative or enthusiasm from her end, even if her actions caused the problem or there were lives and reputations at stake. No, Penelope's comfort and happiness should be front and center.

Now think of that treatment, but on steroids and lasting for two whole books. That's what Madeleine's story - starting from TRH2 - looks like.

TRH1 ends with the reveal that Madeleine's father, Godfrey, was involved in the assassination of Liam's mother Eleanor. So a certain amount of narrative focus on Madeleine was expected, perhaps. But the second book doesn't stop at just that.

We are not merely asked to be kind to Madeleine. No, kindness towards Madeleine is expected of us. The warning issued in TRH2 Ch 4 promises "consequences", which means we know straight off the bat that we will be punished if we're not nice enough. It insists we take note of her "fragile state", and give her the mercy and compassion she had never given to anyone in her court.

To give Madeleine the smallest of credits, she acknowledges this just two chapters prior to the oath ("in the past, our positions were once reversed and I was...unkind to you. I had no reason to expect any kindness from you..."). However, this admission does sound disingenuous in the face of the narrative's implicit demand that we treat her nicely. Because if she did recognise her own past behaviour in TRR2 esp as hurtful, and herself as not exactly deserving of kindness, then it makes no sense for her to judge people for behaving exactly as she expected. A genuine redemption arc would have been one where she understood no one owed her kindness after what she'd done, and still determinedly forged ahead to do good for her country. After all, the narrative wanted us so badly to believe this woman was patriotic, right? If her "patriotic spirit" was so tied to her ego that you needed to pamper and praise her every five minutes, just for her to not support such an obviously-foolish tyrant as Bartie Sr, then it can't have been as strong as canon so vehemently claimed.

TRH tracks our "treatment" of Madeleine over 2 books and 10 distinct scenes. Of these, 6 scenes allow us to choose between kind responses and unkind ones, 2 others require the player to choose one among multiple options of people, and 2 scenes are check-in dialogues rather than actual choices (which means that the player doesn't choose an option, they just find out through such scenes whether they are winning Madeleine's favour or not). I imagine that the first category is the most important, with the second being options that you don't necessarily need to choose Madeleine for if you want to go for one of the others, as long as you pressed enough "kind" options.

To elaborate, here's the breakdown:

Kind/Unkind Responses

- House Amaranth's pledge (TRH2 Ch 4). Notably, the "most hurtful" one doesn't even accuse her of anything - it just tells her that the family needs to earn back the Crown's trust. Compare that to Madeleine's accusations to Hana that she was trying to kill her and deserved to lose her position in court. You know, the cruel treatment that some Madeleine stans claimed "wasn't that bad".

- Carrying the Heir's train at Anointing Ball or not (Ch 5)

- Deciphering Madeleine's conversation with Godfrey on his boat (ie whether she is betraying or helping the MC) (Ch 6)

- Acknowledging Madeleine's help in capturing Godfrey, at the Gratitude Ball (Ch 7)

- Gently encouraging Madeleine into being Penelope's bridal attendant, rather than mocking her (TRH3 Ch 2). There is no longer any need to acknowledge Penelope's earlier fear of Madeleine - we are expected to forget entirely that she was the main reason why Penelope didn't want to return to court in TRR3.

- Trusting Madeleine to help with investigations at Fydelia (Ch 6)

Choosing Among Multiple People:

- Speaking about loyalty before making a pledge to the Heir. Other ladies of the house are also presented as choices (TRH 2 Ch 14)

- Babysitting the Heir during Fox Hunt. Other choices are Regina and Savannah (TRH3 Ch 10)

Relationship Check-in:

- The way Madeleine greets you at Fydelia (Warm Welcome/Cold Front) (TRH3 Ch 6)

- Whether Madeleine helps you escape with the Heir in Ch 13, or allows the child to get kidnapped by Godfrey in Ch 15 (Desparate Times/What Goes Around)

The ending of TRH3 has Madeleine either thriving and inheriting her mother's estate, or being merely fired from her job in Royal Communications (a better punishment would have been to strip the entire Amaranth family of their lands, but I digress). She is notably absent in TRF, possibly because she wasn't entirely very popular to start with and two whole books of coddling her didn't exactly help matters either. As one of the junior writers in the TRF team said, "some people exiled her so..."

The first few opportunities to win her over, notably emerge from attempts Madeleine makes to assure the Crown/MC of House Amaranth's loyalty, and you will find that even at an early stage she expects to be included in sensitive discussions that call for discretion, and to be constantly praised for her efforts. Let me give a reminder, again, that she hardly ever gave any praise to the women working for her, and in fact punished them just to keep them constantly in fear of her.

I know it sounds like I'm labouring too much on this point, but it's important to understand just how much effort the narrative had put into coddling this one woman. Chapters and chapters of branch coding, writing two routes, title cards, dialogues, rewards and consequences.

This is similar to the way the narrative encouraged kindness and sympathy towards Penelope, but it's now over a lengthier period of time and with more drastic consequences. We were required to coddle Penelope over a chapter each in three specific books, or be deprived of her support/help. We are required to constantly shower Madeleine with praise and sweet words over the course of 31 chapters, or she will help an unscrupulous Regent-Elect kidnap our child. She will even openly accept that the only reason she put a mere child through that, was because we weren't nice to her ("Wouldn't you have done the same to me? You've made it abundantly clear you see me as the enemy").

But if the MC deserved a punishment this cruel for just mocking Madeleine at every turn, then what punishments should Madeleine get for what she put her own ladies-in-waiting through? What should she get for planning to "break" one of her courtiers? A second broken engagement doesn't seem entirely enough by such parameters.

Then again - as I said before, the narrative deliberately shifted the goal posts for what a potential royal could and couldn't get away with, in the time between Madeleine's engagement tour and the MC's marriage, for this very reason. So that Madeleine would never have to face the kind of constant censure the MC and Liam would face regularly. Among characters in canon, or among largely biased stans in the fandom. Speaking of which...

Fandom

Madeleine's popularity has always been a mixed bag, ever since TRR2. By TRR2, there were people who loved her for what they thought were her craftiness and wiles, some who suspected her to be involved in the plot against the MC, and a number of Liam stans had reactions that ranged from stanning, to indifferent (after all, both Liam and Madeleine showed a mutual disinterest towards each other), to slightly jealous (after all, she was still his fiancée).

But it was Madeleine's treatment of Hana in Ch 7 that definitely crossed a line for quite a few. It was so unwarranted, and her justification for this act so inarguably cruel, that it turned several people off her immediately. The way canon dealt with this was to make her feature less in the story until the memory of the "chocolate incident" was faded and almost forgotten, and then encourage fans to sympathize with her.

The gamble definitely worked, with plenty of help from hardcore Madeleine stans who often downplayed what happened to Hana ("a prank", "making Hana cry just once" were some of the terms used to describe it). By TRR3, I recall having to remind some of my mutuals what actually happened in this scene - their own recollections of it were that vague. The Hana and Madeleine ship would have died a far quicker death if more people remembered this incident as it was shown, and not as narrative wanted us to remember it (and also, if more people cared that it was Hana being hurt, rather than their fave white girl/boy).

Madeleine gained some popularity among the wlw crowd - a couple of them did have a soft spot for stoic, aggressive or women often labelled as "bitchy" (I know a few who also showed a similar amount of love for ACOR's Xanthe or BB's Priya, to be fair...but the adulation for the white female antagonists was a lot more), and Madeleine clearly fit that bill.

A point that often came up from Madeleine stans who were wlw (and reiterated with other mean-girl characters) was that grey-shaded and villanous male characters weren't subject to as much censure as their favourites were. While there is truth to such an argument, it fails to take into account the role race often plays in the way some "mean" women are loved and certain others are scorned. Madeleine clearly did not have the scale of hate that a Xanthe or even a Kiara (who isn't even on the same level) got. In fact when it suited them, many in the fandom were more than ready to view Madeleine as a victim when Liam broke his engagement with her.

Madeleine's "patriotism" - as I've now clearly established - was a retcon made to erase the worst aspects of her characterization. Sometimes it was used to make people feel sorry for her losses, other times it was made to cover up her actual behaviour in TRR2. But there were very few readers who didn't consider it an undeniable fact. Even among those who were indifferent towards her. For instance, in an anon ask that compared Madeleine and QB's Poppy, a poster responded that "the difference between the two was that Madeleine had a sense of duty, and Poppy was just petty". In TRH3, players who claimed that "we can all agree Madeleine is fully redeemed" when she worked with the MC to protect the child from Bartie Sr, stayed mysteriously silent when the other consequence (her helping in the child's kidnapping because she didn't like the MC's pettiness) showed up.

And while these responses could be attributed to the way canon gassed Madeleine up in TRR2 and 3, some of these players had no problem nitpicking the political savvy or work of certain other (CoC) characters, esp Liam (often bashing them for "throwing parties every day", even though the general populace was depicted as being happy with their rule and influence. Mind you, no prompting from PB was necessary to bash these characters). So why were these parameters never applied to Madeleine? Why was practically no one asking what the political relevance of her bullying (as future Queen) was, or why we were expected to sing her praises for poor time management or terrible work ethics towards her boss, or ask what work she actually did in canon as Royal Comms Director? (There is a reference or two to the position, but you aren't shown that many instances of her doing much work). For quite a few, the fact that she walked around with a job title in TRH was more than enough (somehow Kiara never got this kind of fandom treatment despite being part of the Diplomatic Liaisons department).

How does this adulation for such a heavily retconned character, affect the way the Hana and Madeleine ship was viewed? For one, it meant that readers bought into the retcons easily enough that Hana's pairing with her was seen as an extension of her "redemption arc" by some.

Take the example of the various posts that argue in favour of this pairing, or fic that features them as a couple - a lot of them center Madeleine: her pain, her history, her reasons, the correctness of giving her a reward. Hana is barely mentioned or given much attention in these arguments - and often when she has any sort of voice, it is only there to humanize Madeleine. Supporters of this pair often took stances that were either ready to throw Hana under the bus, act like she hardly mattered, or treat her like some sort of blank slate to scribble their adulation for Madeleine over.

Hana is often viewed as less worthy of a focus - she is often the benevolent saint who forgives Madeleine because she "worked so hard to be better". Often it never matters to get into detail why Hana thought Madeleine earned her forgiveness, what Hana's perspective was, what journey she went through to get such a point. Because if Hana's journey really mattered in such a ship, the most pressing questions would revolve around why Hana should ever trust a person who wanted to break her in the first place. Why she should feel safe around such a person. Why her own friend group wouldn't want to protect her from such a person.

Some readers would bring up their parallels as daughters brought up in families that didn't value them, but neglect to take into account the nuances of those dynamics (Madeleine's mother at least wanted to be supportive, and no matter how bad things got, Madeleine was never in danger of being disowned. Hana was, repeatedly). Nor is it fully honest about how Madeleine was comfortable being a perpetrator of abuse, in contrast to Hana's own deep discomfort with the idea of controlling her partner.

In certain cases, I can maybe see this attitude in fandom emerging from an acceptance of the narrative's retcons as truth. But I also think there were as many readers who were just inclined to liking the mean white girl, and finding justifications and excuses for her behaviour.

Fandom's attitudes towards Hana herself often played a small role in how Hana's end of this story was ignored too. When TRR3 fucked up her arc phenomenally (by rushing her parents' turnaround from disowning her to supporting her in Ch 15), it became popular to view Hana as a lesser character, and the "meaner" white women as better. People who wanted other options for female LI often took their frustrations out on her, calling her "weak", servile and submissive, dismissing her honest accounts of the treatment she faced even from her own parents as "whining". If that was the way people preferred to view her emotionally abusive childhood...then what can one expect from such a fandom when she was being outright bullied?

Fandom was already comfortable with the idea of erasing Hana in their content, or replacing her with either their fave white girl (or an equally white OC esp in their fanfic - but more on that in a future Hana essay). So neglecting to center her in what would have been her only canonical alternative romance wouldn't be too difficult for some people.

Which merits the question...is there a way to write about (or write fic for) such a pairing, in a way that centers Hana, respects her story, makes it clear that she has the right to never forgive Madeleine no matter what she does to "earn" it - if that was what she wanted? I highly doubt it. You'd have to completely change Madeleine for that to happen, and that would more likely result in a situation where you were too busy working on her as a character, to give Hana the attention and focus she deserved.

And that's a real pity, because there's plenty to explore about Hana if you actually take the effort to look.

Conclusion

In a lot of ways, once the team had decided upon making Madeleine into a more positive character, they tried to draw a little from Olivia's arc to replicate its success. You can see some of these parallels in the way TRR2 structured the bachelorette as a semi-callback to the childhood- reveal-mocking-Savannah sequences in TRR1 Ch 7. Both chapters gave you reasons to start seeing these women in a different light, while still feeling free to dislike them. In both chapters they also targeted LIs - the only difference was that Drake's diamond scene post that confrontation centered him, and Hana's parallel diamond scene a book later...centered everyone else.

That attempt in TRR2 didn't work for several reasons - the timing wasn't right, Madeleine's cruelty had gone too far for some, the retconning hoodwinked quite a few people but not enough.

So when they tried to pair her up with the victim of her bullying, and twisted canon to make it happen - enough readers emerged to call it out, enough people pushed back by Ch 16, and the possibility of this alternative pairing garnered enough dislike that not only did the writers have to backtrack, but they also had to wipe away their past retcons and write in a scene where Madeleine gave Hana the full, unvarnished truth about the "chocolate incident". Hana was, thankfully, given a chance to give Madeleine her most polite "no".

And although that ship would never be brought up again, the team (even without Madeleine's top writer Jeffrey) still attempted to make pampering and uncritically praising her a narrative priority. She gained a bit more popularity during this time period - quite a few were inclined to feel sorry for her (especially considering the way her father's crimes affected her social standing) and saw only what happened if you were consistently nice to her.

But there was also a significant section of people who were tired of the constant coddling, and who didn't like that it was demanded of the player (when there were far more deserving WOC in the same book, who didn't get this level of kindness). It was significant enough that Madeleine wasn't given any scenes in the final book, and the writers cited her lack of popularity as a reason why.

As a Hana fan myself, it was a relief to see Hana not be paired up with her bully. But it was also immensely disheartening for me to see that "ship" get as far as it did, and to see the narrative do so much more work for Madeleine, than they did for Hana even in the follow up series. It was even more disheartening to see so many in fandom follow suit.

--

By now, we have explored 3 out of the 4 alternative pairings that TRR put forward for the LIs. They all vary in terms of buildup, attention, and payoff. But there are several things that are common about them. They all have either significant histories with the LI, or the narrative thinks they share something in common. The moment an "alternative" option ends up harming the MC, they are no longer suitable as an option because of the LI's loyalty towards her.

But perhaps the most common factor among the three women we have explored so far is how the LI is expected to treat the alternate, no matter how jealous the MC is allowed to get, no matter what the alternate themselves may have done in the past. The alternate is supposed to be treated well. With respect, with kindness, with compassion.

Betrayal doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Bad behaviour doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Disregarding consent doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Classism doesn't allow an LI to treat their alternate badly. Not loving them back doesn't allow it either. Not even extreme levels of bullying...allows an LI to disrespect them.

In the next essay, we will see if any of these rules apply to our last alternative LI - Kiara.

Next: Drake and Kiara.

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

love me tender...or maybe not - lust fall

pairing: cupid bf!Wonwoo x fem!reader (ft. BooSeok)

genre: fluff, humor, smut. minors dni.

warnings: making out, fingering, soft dom!reader (also kind of a service top but has some mean moments), sub!wonwoo, reader is experienced and wonu loses his virginity, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill but still wrap it yk), hair pulling, marking, slight breeding kink, cumplay, mentions of dacryphilia, wonu slips into sub space, very mild degradation, use of pet names (angel, baby, pretty boy), 

word count: 3.1k (this got a tad bit outta hand folks)

Author’s note: wheeeee it’s here! one more chapter left to wrap up these mini-series ;-; A big thank you to @duhnova​, @junkissed​ and @flowerwonu​ for helping me out with this fic!

 series taglist: @enhacolor @misssugarlips @flowerwonu @duhnova @heartkyeom @junkissed @himbocoups @wonwussy @idyllic-ghost​ 

nsfw taglist: @rosecult @bibinnieposts @ovai @littlemisssarcastic21 @tinkerbell460 @jonghyuns-husband @romromthedeer @y00nzin0 @llsiriusminorisll @booyouwhore17​ 

© multi-kpop-fanfics, 2023. ​No reposting allowed. No translating allowed without permission.

“A hair color change? Seriously?”

“Yeah, why does it sound so weird to you?” 

“It’s not weird, it’s weird coming from you” Seungkwan opens the glass lid, carefully placing the cupcakes inside.

“What’s wrong with me wanting to change my hair color? I could use a change, after all” Wonwoo runs a hand through his black hair.

“I mean, sure, but….Have you given it any thought or are you just going with the flow?”

“I was thinking of asking for recommendations first-”

“I think purple would look nice on you, hyung!” Seokmin joins the conversation.

“Utter bullshit” Seungkwan scoffs, “Don’t listen to him, hyung - You should definitely go for silver.”

“Purple is way more fun and playful!” Seokmin bites back.

“Silver is more mature and sexy!” Seungkwan argues.

“Purple!”

“Silver!”

“If you keep this up, I will shave my head” Wonwoo deadpans, visibly annoyed by his two annoyed friends.

“NO!” they both yell at him and he’s taken aback by their reaction.

“Okay no need to make the cafeteria a warzone!” he throws his hands in the air to his defense and he manages to calm the spirits down, “I will take your recommendations into account though, so thanks for these.”

“When are you going to book an appointment?” Seokmin asks out of curiosity, the washcloth in his hand, cleaning the counter.

“What appointment?”

“An appointment to a hair salon, idiot” Seungkwan comments, “You’re not seriously thinking of dyeing your hair by yourself, are you?”

“Uhhh”

“That is simply unacceptable! You cannot possibly risk to destroy your own hair without the help of a professional-”

“Thanks but no thanks!” Wonwoo cuts Seungkwan off, softly holding his forearms, “I really appreciate the fact that you care about my scalp, but I know what I am doing - you can trust me on that.”

“Okay, if you say so…. But don’t come back bald and cry to me!” the younger man warns him, pointing his finger at him.

The day at the cafeteria passes in a blur - customers come and go, coffee cups and other delicacies flying around, passing from hand to hand. A rather hectic blur, one would say - but a satisfying one, for both customers and workers in that shop.

It’s Wonwoo’s lucky day -  he was only on morning shift today so he left the shop around three o’clock (he could have left earlier, but he’s a clean freak and washed the entire counter).

But he’s not feeling particularly lucky right now - because he has spent at least half an hour looking at hair dyes and trying to distinguish the different shades.

“This is so not going well” he mutters to himself while looking at three different shades, which seem absolutely the same to him.

“Hello sir! Do you need help?” 

Wonwoo almost yells from the jumpscare, looking at the saleswoman who’s currently looking at him with a beaming smile.

“H-Hello, yeah I could use some help here….”

“Are you looking for a specific shade?” 

“Uh, I just want a silver and a purple, that’s all….” he mutters awkwardly.

“Interesting combo - Have you tried it bef-”

“It’s for my girlfriend!” he immediately adds, not wanting to embarrass himself even longer.

“Okay then, I see!” she exclaims and takes one last look at Wonwoo’s hair, rummaging through the hair dye boxes and she’s handing over three boxes, with the exact shades he was looking for.

“These two are the colors and this is bleach - using the bleach first is recommended because it will help changing into lighter colors easier than going straight with the dye” she points at the unfamiliar box.

“Oh, that’s….pretty useful. Thanks.” he nods with a tight lipped smile.

“Hope you’ll end up with a nice result!” the saleswoman waves at him and Wonwoo’s face flushes from embarrassment as he heads over to the cashier.

“Am I even doing this right?“ Wonwoo, mutters to himself, mixing the two color tubes in the plastic cup, looking at himself while he's waiting for the bleach to take effect.

He grabs the paper with the instructions again, reading them sentence by sentence to make sure he's following them step by step.

"Section your hair and apply the color evenly….Okay, that's not too hard" he tilts his head, starting to do as the instructions say. 

"Wait, how long was I supposed to-"

"Wonwoo? What are you doing here?"

This time, Wonwoo actually yells and almost knocks everything off the bathroom counter, visibly startled by your sudden appearance.

"What are you doing here?!" he asks in a panicked state.

"What do you mean?" you laugh, "I live here with you!"

"Well yeah, obviously - I mean why are you here? Weren't you supposed to come later?"

"Last class ended earlier so here I am" you simply comment, your eyes fixated on the opened hair dye, "But you didn't answer my original question, Won" you get the plastic bowl in your hands, mixing the color with the brush.

"What are you doing in the bathroom, Wonwoo?"

Busted, he thinks, head hanging low in embarrassment.

"I saw you looking through Pinterest the other day and you were infatuated over  lilac colored hair…..And I wanted to surprise you…"

"With changing your own hair color?" you look at him with wide eyes and he nods shyly, averting his gaze from you.

"You are the cutest angel boyfriend I could ever ask for" you laugh and cup his cheeks, pressing a kiss on his lips.

"Thank you….But the surprise is ruined now" Wonwoo pouts in disappointment, but his eyes shoot up when he feels your hands on his hair, swiftly parting them into sections, starting to apply the mixed color on the now bleached strands.

"Y/N? What are you-"

"Shh, trust me on this one" you reassure him, slowly dragging the plastic brush across his scalp.

"But-"

"I'll just apply the color, after that I'll wait for you to dry it and see the ending result - Don't wanna ruin the surprise, right?"

"Okay then" Wonwoo relaxes his shoulders, the wings on his back still contracted.

About an hour later, you're waiting for your boyfriend, hoping nothing went wrong.

"Hey" you see Wonwoo peeking 

"Took you long enough" you tease him, trying to peek under the towel resting on his head.

"I just needed some time to….accommodate to the change" he rubs his nape and he drags the towel off his head, revealing his new hair.

To say the result was a pleasant surprise would be an understatement.

Wonwoo's previous black hair has been replaced by a striking lavender color, a discreet yet fascinating silver sheen adorning his locks.

If he wasn’t a cupid, you would have sworn he’s a faerie.

“Wonwoo, your hair….It’s….Oh my God” you get up from the bed, and thread your fingers in his still soft hair, enamored with your boyfriend’s new look.

“Y-You like it?” he asks, “I don’t know what to think of it”

“Are you kidding me? Wonwoo, you look utterly stunning” you say breathlessly, the pads of your fingers playing with the roots of his hair, “My pretty, pretty angel.”

Wonwoo lets out a small moan at the pet name, the combination of your voice praising his appearance and your hands playing with his lavender colored locks has him feeling weak in the knees.

“Y/N…..” he looks at you with pleading eyes, his palms wrapped around your wrists, dragging one of your hands down on his chest, breathing getting heavier and more uneven.

“Say what you want, angel. Say it and I will do it for you” you cup his cheeks lovingly, waiting for his answer.

“C-Can you take off my shirt? Please?” 

“God, you beg so prettily” you curse under your breath and take off his shirt, revealing his toned body, running your hands over his spine and pressing your fingers right on the base of his wing junctions, making his magenta wings rustle and reveal, eliciting a whine from the cupid’s mouth.

“That…..That’s cheating” Wonwoo groans, feeling his pants getting tighter and tighter, his self control wearing thin.

“Not my fault you’re an open book to me” you grin and tug him towards the bed, pushing him flat on the mattress with one swift motion, climbing over his lap.

“If I’m going too fast, let me know and I’ll st- mmfh!”

Wonwoo doesn’t let you complete your sentence by smashing his lips on yours, bringing you close to his body and wrapping his arms around your back, eagerly chasing your lips, getting drunk into your scent.

“Please please please touch me, Y/N, I need you so fucking bad-”

“Angel…you shouldn’t use bad words like those” you hold his jaw in place with your hand, peppering butterfly kisses across his jawline.

“I’m sorry…” he mutters with a small pout.

“That’s more like it” you smile, fingers fiddling with your clothes, taking everything off right in front of Wonwoo’s lust-blown eyes.

You’re stark naked on his lap, raking your nails over his nape and playing with the freshly dyed hairs, watching his face scrunch in pleasure, the man struggling to stay still.

“You know you can touch me, right, Wonwoo?” you tug at his hair a bit more forcefully, making him moan from the stinging sensation on his scalp.

“I need to take my pants off first” he laughs breathlessly and you lift yourself off his lap to give him enough space to remove his pants, along with his boxers. Your eyes zone in on his already hard cock, your hand practically itching to grab it.

“Already so hard, angel?” you attempt to align your pussy with his length, but Wonwoo stops you by holding your hips still, wings unsettling behind him.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, his expression completely unreadable.

“I….Um…”

“You don’t feel ready yet?” you whisper softly, your hands cupping Wonwoo’s burning cheeks, “You can still back down from it if you aren’t sure-”

“No, please, I….I really want this” he tightens the grip on your hips, “I just don’t want to…hurt you in the process….?” 

“About that…” you take his hand and guide it towards your naked pussy, a gasp echoing from your boyfriend’s mouth when his digits come in contact with your soaked slit, biting his bottom lip when he drags his fingers across your slit, making you moan lowly.

“Yeah, that feels so nice, fuck” you rest your hands on his shoulders, “Don’t be s-shy, you can slide t-them in” you rake your nails on his scalp, your hips starting to move with a consciousness of their own.

“L-Like that?” Wonwoo asks timidly as he slowly plunges two of his slender digits in your heat, your head involuntarily falling into the crevice of his neck as your walls greedily clamp down on his fingers. 

“God yes, just like that” you whine in response, “It feels so damn good, Wonu, you’re doing so good.”

The constant praises urge Wonwoo to move his fingers inside you, the need to see your face scrunched in pleasure getting the better of him - thus he slides them in and out of your now dripping core, his bottom lip caught by his teeth as he watches your essence coat his hand in awe.

“This is what you d-do to me, Nonu” you whisper in his ear, “And it’s just your fingers, shit- Imagine how good your cock will feel-”

At this moment, Wonwoo takes away his fingers, leaving your pussy high and empty, sucking his fingers clean with a lewd, satisfied hum.

“You little-”

“I couldn't hold myself any longer, I desperately need to be inside you, please” he begs you, his lips colliding with your neck, sloppily dragging them across your skin.

You give it zero thought and you line your entrance with his cock, carefully sinking down on him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head from the delicious stretch.

“Fuuuuuck….” you let out a loud moan, your hands perched on Wonwoo’s chest as you try to accommodate to his size.

“Oh God, oh my God” he groans, his palms smoothing over your thighs, “You’re so…tight and warm, baby…”

“Just give me a few seconds, Nonu, just a few seconds and I’ll give you the time of your life, angel” you sigh, pressing a kiss on his left collarbone as you try your best to relax around him.

“Wait- w-what about protection?” Wonwoo asks in a haste.

“I’m on the pill, don’t worry your pretty head about it” you swiftly reply, making yourself comfortable in his lap.

“O-Okay then….A-Are you comfortable enough to move?” he asks with pleading eyes, mentally begging you to start moving because he swears he’s about to cum on the spot because of how heavenly you feel around his cock.

“Do you want me to move, Nonu? Want me to drag my pussy on your pretty cock like I did with my mouth last time? You remember that, don’t you, angel?” you clench your walls around him on purpose, a playful grin on your face as you notice his resolve crumbling down like a tower made of paper cards, his hips involuntarily jutting upwards to get more friction.

“Words, Nonu, I need words” you reprimand him and you can see the wheels in his brain speeding up to form a coherent sentence.

“Please, I beg you, please move, Y/N, I can’t take it anymore” Wonwoo whines, tears starting to form on his eyes.

You smile at him and push him flat on the mattress, wings fully laid out, one hand into his lavender hair, the other beside his head on the bed.

“Good boy.”

You raise your hips and slam them down almost instantly, the bulbous tip of his cock stretching your walls, forcing bits of your sanity to start slipping away from you.

“Ah, d-don’t stop, baby, God that feels amazing” Wonwoo grips your waist, wings starting to rustle and drop a few feathers around the bed, turning his head away, eyes shut from the mind-blowing sensation he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.

“Eyes on me, dear cupid” you yank his hair a bit more forcefully, “Open your pretty eyes, Nonu, I want you to look at me when I fuck you stupid.”

He opens his eyes, just like you ordered him to do and he’s met with your lustful gaze, unfaltering despite the effort you make to fuck yourself on his cock, soaking it till the base with your juices.

“That’s it, pretty boy - Watch me make you feel good.”

“P-Please, I’m-nngh” he arches his back off the mattress, his nails slowly digging into your skin from the arousal.

“Are you close, baby? Are you gonna cum that soon?” 

“Yes, pleasepleaseplease let me cum, it’s too much!” Wonwoo lets out a drawn, whiny moan, letting the welled up tears run down his cheeks, standing on the edge of his orgasm.

“Let go for me, Nonu, f-fill me up until I’m soaked with your cum, baby” you moan, your hips slamming faster on his lap, urging him to tip off the edge.

The moment he cums inside you, the wings turn crimson red - a color he wished he could avoid. 

But he doesn't feel like he has done something wrong and he definitely doesn’t feel like stopping pleasuring you - because what is the point of eros if not loving your partner, physically and mentally?

Wonwoo wraps his arms around your back and pulls your chest flush to his, wings spasming frantically, a telltale sign of his still ongoing high.

“Y-Y/N-”

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here, everything is okay, angel” you coo at him, petting his hair and hugging him close to your body, his cock still spurting cum in you, your pussy milking him dry for all he’s worth - while you’re actively trying your best to help your boyfriend calm down from his very much intense high.

It takes him a few minutes to fully calm down, his breathing back to normal and his wings finally settling down, only his soft sighs echoing in his room.

“Wonwoo? Are you with me?”

“Yeah, I’m….good. Never been better, actually” he laughs breathlessly, “Are you okay though?”

“I’ve never been better as well” you giggle, “But I also really need to clean us up because we’re sticky as fuck”

You try your best to get up on your feet, his cock slipping out of your pussy, but you immediately lose your balance and almost end up on the floor - almost, because Wonwoo is fast enough to catch you before you fall, setting both of you on your feet with just a few flaps of his wings, causing a small ruckus in the room.

“Wonwoo! I told you to be careful with them!” you scold him, thankful that everything in the room somehow managed to stay in their place.

“I know, but you’re more precious than all of the things combined in this apartment and the thought of you getting hurt could drive me insane - in a very upsetting way” he defends himself and your cheeks heat up at his honest yet sweet confession, rendering you speechless.

Got you this time, love, Wonwoo grins to himself as he carries you to the bathroom.

“Really? They almost fought because you asked for their opinions?”

“Yep” Wonwoo confirms, “If I hadn’t intervened, they would have started throwing cake icing on each other or something.”

“Still, they were more than willing to help you and that shows a lot” you comment, “I think I would like them a lot”

“Well, they definitely like you a lot” Wonwoo grins and you’re taken aback.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” you straighten your posture and accidentally splash some water on the walls of the bathtub.

“Easy there, love” Wonwoo chuckles, “I’ve talked about you to the guys before and they seem to like you, despite having not met you yet” he explains, “That’s all.”

“Oh…Well, when you put it that way, it makes more sense…” you trail off and try to sink your body under the water out of embarrassment, but his arms around your midriff stop you and drag you back into his arms, pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

“I would never do something to expose you, my love” he murmurs on your skin and you relax into his embrace with a happy sigh, letting yourselves soak into the warm, scented water.

“I think Seungkwan and Seokmin will love your new hair.” 

“I think so too, to be honest - it’s literally a perfect mix of what they proposed, after all.”

Wonwoo takes a quick whiff of the air, racking his brain to understand the identity of the pleasant aroma.

“Baby?”

“Yes?”

“What is the scent of the bath bomb you put in here?”

You turn your head around, looking at your boyfriend with a grin.

“Lavender, of course.”

[when-wax-wings-melt]

Keeper of the Lost Cities: A Love-Hate-Love Relationship, And What It Can Do To Your Psyche 

This is the essay you guys wanted to see after this presentation dropped; to be clear, this is the final draft. The presentation was made from the rough draft, so it's rather different.

Also, the essay prompt was to make it personal. So the italicized bits are where I was trying to do that, and they are both separate and a part of the essay. They break up the flow, but are also a response to the normal bits of the essay. You get it. Here we go.

In total, the Keeper of The Lost Cities (KOTLC) series by Shannon Messenger has over 7000 pages, split between nine and a half books (Book 8.5 was, uselessly, a novella) with a planned tenth coming in late 2024. It’s the kind of series that hooks you the same way a fisherman hooks a fish: with a promise of a treat that goes very, very unfulfilled. This is to say: KOTLC is a good series, at least at first. It’s certainly been my core obsession for a good (or bad) five years. It’s a hook because you can’t escape once you’ve begun. It’s my own personal brand of heroine, as Edward Cullen might say if Bella were a too-long book series that doesn’t resolve any plotlines or character arcs and instead piles more information on top of worldbuilding until contradictions are more plentiful than the packed main cast.

KOTLC is a good series, but the idea of recommending it feels like I’d be violating several articles of the Geneva Convention. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and yet the thought of it ending is an impossibility on the scale of the apocalypse and I hope (I’d rather) the world ends before this series does. KOTLC is a minefield of sloppy worldbuilding, deeply compelling characters, and---where am i without it?---bits of myself woven into the many, many words, sinking under my skin and revealing what I think I have to offer. 

Sophie Foster is the protagonist of the series, trudging the long, never-ending path to what hopefully will be a happy ending. Like the author, Sophie has blonde hair and brown eyes, making her unique among her fellow elves, who all have blue eyes, including the rare-among-the-main-cast people of color.

There are so many things that make Sophie weird, strange, unique, attractive to every boy who sees her, and otherwise out of the ordinary: for example, she has five special abilities that allow her to teleport, read minds, inflict pain, speak any language, and enhance the abilities of others---i cannot do what she can, but she breathes and i do too---There are certain things she has very much in common with her fellow elves, such as her slender build and flawless skin, but much more makes her, as her childhood bullies would say, “A Special Sophie-Flake.”

Sophie was raised by humans, which not only means that the steadily growing pile of unique traits is now tottering dangerously above my head, but also that she’s clumsy and wildly insecure. This insecurity has a purpose and a source, making it one of the most annoyingly (and terrifyingly) accurate depictions of teenage anxiety in middle-grade media (if I were a vampire pulled from normal vampire lore rather than Twilight and I looked at her, I’d be invisible)---so do you get it? do i? 

which one of us is me---Sophie has intense imposter syndrome, never believing she’s worthy of the overwhelming support, approval, and desire heaped upon her throughout her years in the Lost Cities. In Book One, four teenage boys were no less than obsessed with her, possibly because she, presumably, talked to them sometimes. Valin, a “drooly boy” (named due to his constant drooling, as one might expect), is forced to ballroom dance with Sophie in detention, and later gives her a card and a bracelet professing his admiration. Dex Dizznee manages to sustain his crush until he finally makes his move in Book Six, and is rejected in humiliation after she kisses him to make him realize his feelings aren’t actually real---when I know that he was lying to himself, is lying to himself. truth is a phase and it ends once you hit age eight---After Book Six, only two remain: Fitz and Keefe, each of whom has made their crushes very, desperately, embarrassingly clear to someone who very clearly returns both sets of feelings.

“Sooner or later you're going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?” (Messenger Neverseen), notes Keefe, with his usual subtle confession of his feelings---only leaving me with questions: did he want her to know at all? is he chasing the person or the change? the girl or the excitement? the wanting or the wanted?---The love polygon of however many vertices is both acknowledged and not by Sophie— she’s aware of her feelings for Fitz from chapter two of Book One, becomes aware of her feelings for Keefe in Book Nine, and mentally friend-zones Dex every other sentence, even when it’s not really relevant to the rest of her inner monologue. Her inability to believe with confidence that she might be worthy of a crush (or any sort of positive acknowledgment) is layered beneath every thought where she considers the possibility of being liked, and then promptly dismisses it.

---she knows that admitting it means being wrong. i will be wrong, unless i guess right and am big-headed, full of myself. who am i---

Sophie’s oblivious nature stems from her human upbringing, directly resulting from the trauma of developing the ability to read minds at age five. She hears her parents wishing she were normal or better at making friends and fitting in, her sister complaining about her presence, and her classmates at school judging everything she does.

She sticks out like a sore thumb in the human world, only to come to the elven world and be called a freak, malfunctioning, a genetic experiment, and a failure, just when she thought she might fit in---when i am a puzzle piece, a corner without the connection---Her alienation in the human world (referred to as the Forbidden Cities in the series) comes from her level of success, skipping five grades due to her elven intelligence and photographic memory, and getting into Harvard at age twelve.

While she hates the combination of jealousy and admiration she’s constantly showered with there---who hates it and loves it at the same time? isolation and contradiction---in the elven world, she’s hated for other reasons: accidentally breaking laws, making mistakes, or simply being a blip on the seemingly perfect streak the elven world has for peace and security. Is there any mystery as to why she would never believe that people actually, genuinely care for her? She’s formed her protective coating of denial that lasts her through every time Fitz gives her a gift and she convinces herself it means nothing, or every time Dex shows his jealousy, or every time Keefe goes to her before anyone else.

Even when she kisses Dex, after he tells her in anything but words that he likes her, she doubts herself—are two sides of the same coin, where heads is insecurity and tails is egotism. question: who is she?---She doesn’t think he actually likes her, appreciates her, admires her. This doubt works its way into everything she does, every relationship she has, platonic, romantic, or otherwise. Yet again, she shows her status as a reflection---answer: she’s a mirror. i know who i am because she exists---reading into everything and still not believing or trusting that it truly exists outside of her imagination.

Any time Sophie sees a girl she perceives as prettier, more elegant, or smarter than she is, she instantly develops a jealousy complex—relating either to how Fitz acts around them, or how they project the confidence and normalcy she wishes she can achieve---to tell me whether or not i am alone---She surrounds herself with people who are described as incredibly stunning even in a world where every elf naturally matches the ideal Western beauty standard.

Yet she refuses to believe that she, too, might be beautiful, and instead considers herself dull and boring next to Biana, Linh, Marella, and Maruca---(and ten books later, i still do not have an answer)---Even Stina, who has committed the number one crime (it’s a federal offense) of having “a mass of frizzy curls” (KOTLC 164), is considered beautiful when her hair is “tamed” and slicked back. This framing of beauty applies to the boys, too, but none of Sophie’s descriptions are quite as detailed, quite as admiring, or quite as wistful as when she’s describing Biana Vacker’s heart-shaped, perfectly glossed lips---so, yes, i look at her and see myself. is that what i’m trying to say? is that what i am?---

But the queer-coding doesn’t stop (or begin, really) with Sophie’s dedicated denial of both her worth as a human being and her desire to kiss her pretty girl friends. A connection called a “Cognate Bond” is often referred to in the text as the closest two elves can become, emotionally and mentally.

Cognates exist when two Telepaths (such as Sophie) have such a deep and unbreakable trust bond that they become more skilled together than they were apart. In creating and maintaining this bond, they have to complete trust exercises and not hold back secrets keeping them from total confidentiality---she thrives on secrets---Sophie’s cognate is her friend (and love interest, and, debatably, ex-boyfriend) Fitz, whose romantic relationship was in a large part focused on their cognate one. Their trust exercises involve staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, having matching rings, and Fitz telling Sophie that she’s the only person he can truly trust.

Fitz also asks his father at one point if cognates are allowed to date each other— his father affirms the statement. Notably, Alden has the authority to do so since he himself was a cognate, only undergoing a nasty breakup— sorry, only losing the bond, after his cognate, Quinlin, kept too many secrets. It’s implied that two other characters were once almost Cognates, only to grow too far apart when one of them, Prentice, had his sanity forcibly shattered and was locked in prison, leaving his (gay lover) best friend, Tiergan, to raise his son---while cognatedom thrives on truth, and also regret, and also the denial of both---The choice to parallel Fitz/Sophie, Alden/Quinlin, and Tiergan/Prentice was possibly not a conscious one but it still resonates with hundreds of queer teen readers who look at the portrayal of utter devotion and trust between two men and think, Wow. This is what I see in myself---but without the denial, without the regret, what are we left with? what do we see?

we see the truth.

We see ourselves.

There are so, so many other issues that I could easily delve into in this series (such as the strangely Western portrayal of gender roles, the racism concerning the Song family, irresponsible adults and the ethics of genetic experimentation, the girlboss and cardboardification of quite literally every woman, etc) and just as many things that make Keeper of the Lost Cities worth it (Fitz’s anger, the development of villains, Sophie’s trans-coding, Keefe’s trauma, physical ramifications of guilt, Marella and Fintans’ pyrokinesis/queer-coding, whatever Dimitar has going on, etc).

The series tends to skew to the “not good” side, although on occasion it will topple abruptly into the “incredible work of art and exploration of wildly interesting character dynamics” before rising like an angel back to heaven into its original position as “questionable in terms of taste.” Mostly, what defines KOTLC is how it’s interpreted rather than the content itself. Someone far different (and with far worse taste) than I might see Fitz’s quest for vengeance and call him a red flag in elven form, while I call it a ridiculously interesting exploration of what grief, near idol worship, toxic standards, and guilt can do to a teenage boy past his limit.

But I am not the voice of the fandom (even though I definitely should be). I look at Sophie Foster and see myself, but that does not make her me. These characters always feel so painfully real, desperately relatable, as if Messenger cobbled together a main cast from bits of my life, but they are not. In the end, they are just characters. In the end, it’s just a series made for middle schoolers, in the same way the sun is just the sun, and the stars are just there to twinkle merrily and not to be explored.

(where am i without it? I cannot do what she can, but she breathes and I do too so do you get it? do i?  which one of us is me when I know that he was lying to himself, is lying to himself. truth is a phase and it ends once you hit age eight only leaving me with questions: did he want her to know at all? is he chasing the person or the change? the girl or the excitement? the wanting or the wanted? she knows that admitting it means being wrong. i will be wrong, unless i guess right and am big-headed, full of myself. who am i when i am a puzzle piece, a corner without the connection who hates it and loves it at the same time? isolation and contradiction aretwo sides of the same coin, where heads is insecurity and tails is egotism. question: who is she? answer: she’s a mirror. i know who i am because she exists to tell me whether or not i am alone (and ten books later, i still do not have an answer) so, yes, i look at her and see myself. is that what i’m trying to say? is that what i am? she thrives on secrets while cognatedom thrives on truth, and also regret, and also the denial of both but without the denial, without the regret, what are we left with? what do we see? we see the truth. We see ourselves.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/8/2024

The Boy is out of my house. end of an era. formally adopt the boy for only twenty of god's own dollars here!

listening

i really really love reading perfume reviews and i would love to start describing songs like a perfume reviewer but maybe this song is not a great one to start out with: the ghost inside by broken bells, off their 2010 self-titled album. it got stuck in my head bc it is sort of the ur-example of 2010s indie rock. you have to listen to it but after you listen to it you know i am Right. kind of a bonkers scifi music video with mostly practical effects and actress christina hendricks (interview here).

thank u spotify weekly recommended playlist bc i had completely forgotten about broken bells. i think i found them through one of those little music cards starbucks used to give out?

-

reading

The Blood Trials (Book One of the Blood Gift Duology, Jan 2023) by N.E. Davenport. i KNOW i originally put this on my holds list bc of a tumblr post but i cannot find that post again.

explaining the plot of this book to my best friend involved saying the phrase "and then THE BLOOD EMPEROR" a lot. there is no short way to explain the plot of this thing.

Blending fantasy and science fiction, N. E. Davenport’s fast-paced, action-packed debut kicks off a duology of loyalty and rebellion, in which a young Black woman must survive deadly trials in a racist and misogynistic society to become an elite warrior. It’s all about blood. The blood spilled between the Republic of Mareen and the armies of the Blood Emperor long ago. The blood gifts of Mareen’s deadliest enemies. The blood that runs through the elite War Houses of Mareen, the rulers of the Tribunal dedicated to keeping the republic alive. The blood of the former Legatus, Verne Amari, murdered. For his granddaughter, Ikenna, the only thing steady in her life was the man who had saved Mareen. The man who had trained her in secret, not just in martial skills, but in harnessing the blood gift that coursed through her. Who trained her to keep that a secret.

this is a "graduate or die" book that i would normally say is YA but the protagonist Ikenna is ~20ish and there are two quite explicit sex scenes. so i feel it veers more new adult? what if you learned to be an ancient greek spartan praetorian but also had blasters? that's what this school is.

this is a military scifi that is also a murder mystery (HELL of a dense concept to pick for a debut novel) that gets SO yuckydisgusting with loving descriptions of military training wounds and a cannibalism scene (not by our protagonist) i had to skip over. i think this would be terrific for locked tomb girlies but it is at the bleeding edge of my tolerance level. i am a noted big baby about gore, so ymmv.

tumblr user kay, why the fuck did you keep reading it? one of the best technically written debut novels i've ever read. extremely compelling in how the narration is from Ikenna’s point of view and she has almost all the murder mystery pieces but fails to put them together bc of personal flaws and foibles. and she is so good at tripping face first over those flaws and foibles it really effectively distracts you from the pieces of the murder mystery! she’s so so so good at making the worst possible decision (in hindsight) at any given point. all her decisions have complex hidden downsides but at the same time she could not have made any different decision. failsafes her grandfather put in place fail bc of the way she interprets them. she is a very good soldier but less good as a strategist. terrible as a politician. this sort of thing.

she is quick to act and quick to decide, and allies and enemies flip fairly quickly without much hemming and hawing. once she has definite proof of betrayal or alliance, she accepts it and charges on. i think the occasionally flimsy lead up to these flips is one of the book’s weaknesses, but i also think it’s one of Ikenna’s major weaknesses. im not convinced the author handles doling every clue out or how the very complex political situation clicks together Well, but Ikenna’s reaction and dealing with the fallout of these things is very believable and well done.

VERY rapid pace— reminds me of The Hunger Games, where Suzanne Collins’ background in TV helped her know when to break chapters. there aren’t any lulls where I lost interest— i read this book in basically one sitting overnight.

-

watching

meandering through a playlist of oscar-nominated shorts: the 1951 UPA black comedy musical film noir short "Rooty Toot Toot" has been one of my favorites so far.

it's so hyperstylized and so gleefully minimalist. the background characters, even though they are mostly just blobs and circles, are notably diverse for 1951. let's yoink some more background from the description/TCM:

Hubley brought in a number of interesting collaborators on Rooty Toot Toot. Dancer Olga Lunick was hired to choreograph the ballet-style dance moves. There was no rotoscoping involved; her moves were only referenced by the artists and animators, not slavishly traced. Paul Julian designed the backgrounds and utilized some non-typical techniques; in his essential history of UPA, When Magoo Flew: The Rise and Fall of Animation Studio UPA (Wesleyan, 2012), Adam Abraham quotes Julian on one of them: "'I found a kind of oddly corroded gelatin roller - an ordinary print roller that had been pitted and pocked in some way, chemically.' With this device, he produced distressed-looking backgrounds that suited the sordid tale." In addition, Hubley and the studio brought on jazz musician Phil Moore to write the score. Moore had done orchestrations for many MGM musicals in the 1940s, but uncredited--this would be a rare on-screen credit for the black musician. Legendary animator Grim Natwick also joined the crew. Natwick had been active since the silent era and had designed and animated Betty Boop for the Fleischer Studios. He went on to work on such key films as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) and Gulliver's Travels (1939). For Rooty Toot Toot Natwick animated the memorable shots of Nellie Bly on the witness stand.

-

playing

i don't have anything fun to say about genshin this week. prepare for me to lose my mind next week about hot ocelot lady.

-

making

sanitized/enzymatic cleaned everything orange boy touched in my office and the office bath, bc he was so full of love and also worms and boysmell. i believe the stink has been defeated, but only time and the girls will tell me. unforch, i will have to sanitize and destink the bathroom Again at the end of the month bc a new outside boycat will be recovering here after his neuter. this time i am Not paying for it and he already has a home lined up! it is a complicated case with a friend's exit from a Situation and it is not fully mine to tell. can't believe this office and office bath have been like a revolving door of cats this summer/fall. phil only got fulltime house privileges at the end of june-ish.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi,

I've read so many of your ask and answers and always find them very interesting and enlighting. I'm late to the iwtv party but I'm fully hooked. I really want to read the books but I'm so used to the changes they made for the show. White Louis, a plantation owner no less, is hard to get through when you're used to black creole pimp Louis. I mainly want to read the books because there's a lot of lore and just storylines that get hinted at and I have no idea what's going on.

Any tips to get started? Is it at one point easier to imagine "show louis" a little further into the story? Or am I just shit out of luck? Thanks!

Hey!

So glad you like! :)

For me book Louis has also been replaced, I totally get you :)))

Still - he's still the same character (at least at the character basis), that's something Jacob said, too, a while ago. But he was updated, and thankfully so :)

So, with this said... go read "The Vampire Lestat". :) You have watched "IWTV"... in the updated form. Keep that in your mind and just read the next book, which would have been (and s3 will be) a major shift in tone anyways. The Louis in the books... just keep Jacob's Louis in mind. He is it for me now, too, and I do think the scenes with him work just as well. His Louis is what I "see" now. (And I am very much looking forward to some of the upcoming scenes, Jacob and Sam have said so, too^^)).

"The Vampire Lestat" will rehash some of what you know, while get you up to date for season 3. It will give you some spoilers, obviously. However, the show will update that story, too, and I cannot wait, because the important part are the emotional beats, and they nailed those for IWTV and I don't expect them to be failing there now^^.

But... fair warning: the next book(s) won't help you to "get" all the arcs.

And: Louis is not as much in them as you might think now. That is something the show is changing, too, and I appreciate it immensely.

Rolin is already taking from at least 9 books so far, namely: "Interview with the vampire", "The Vampire Lestat", "Queen of the Damned", The tale of the Body Thief", "Memnoch the Devil", "The Vampire Armand", "Merrick", "Prince Lestat" and "Blood Communion". AND they have pulled in Playboy articles, the Tulane archives, early drafts and diaries.

Like... that's a lot :))) These writers have done their homework^^. And they have decided to shift the story to include more Louis.

So my recommendation is: just read the next book, namely TVL. Get a feeling for what's to come. Louis' past and his background in the first book won't matter much going forward, so you can just imagine Jacob's wonderful Louis there - and look forward to the show giving us more than the book does (but the book does give us some^^).

And feel free to ask when you have questions :)))

[firefeelsfine]

HELLO pretty people!!!🌸 <3

The intro post is finally here...🫴🏻✨

ABOUT ME :- she/her | 8teen | Pisces | ENFJ -A | Girl's girl | certified panick mechine | super random | desi | hopeless romantic.🌼

Wanna know more about me, here you go:-

🌸 yepp, so my name is KEHKESHA which means Galaxy & The name originates from Persian language.

( I am truly in love with my name, so please try not to mess it up while interacting. )

🌸I am a die heart fan of SRK and RK.

( it's okay if you don't like them or the way they act...I respect your views nevertheless.)

🌸what do I mostly post?

Random shit, that's right. Relatable kinda shit , random funny looking pictures , memes and rants. In short everything that would show a sense of carelessness towards life and people. Because let's be honest , we all are struggling with stuff one way or another. So ig it's better to deal with that shit by making it somewhat random.

But but but, at times I may tap into my devdas zone, and post or reblog something kinda sad. ( Not negative or something devestating, just simply sad) Something that may or may not touch that hidden empty void in your heart.

🌸 there is nothing in this world that will ever come close to how much i love tulips 🌷🌷🌷

🌸I am not religious but very spritual.

🌸I respect every religion with all my heart. I am obsessed with Indian myths and history. I would really appreciate hearing anyone speaking of there culture, the traditions they follow, the facts and the myths, all of it together and everything in between as well. Feel free to reach out to me for the same.

🌸my favourite colour changes with my mood, today it's rose gold.

🌸I am seriously very chaotic. If my chaos makes sense to you, we're meant to vibe together.

🌸my favourite vibe:- midnight thoughts with Lo-fi Beats.

🌸 I have bunch of interest, here goes the list:-

• imtiyaz ali movies ( my go to )

• F.R.I.E.N.D.S ( nothing compares to that common! )

• music:- jagjit singh, Mukesh, kishore kumar songs are a bliss to me. Shreya Ghoshal, Mohit Chauhan, Arjit Singh top my playlist every now and then. The weekend, JVKE , arctic monkeys, Chris brown make my playlist near to perfect.

But but but...LANA DEL RAY & ISABEL LAROSA make me tap into my siren self way too quick.

• I am diagnosed with moderate anxiety and an undiagnosed mild ADHD awaits me.

•THE SCARLET WITCH from the MCU is my comfort character. ( It's weird ik)

• I like every existing shade of maroon.

🌸 relationship status :- in love- hate relationship with my life.

🌸I am in love with the idea of being in love.💌

🌸I get lost in my books every now & then ( I won't be posting anything about what I read , in this blog, because I cannot tolerate listening to anyone having an opinion on why they don't like a character that I may be obsessed with at that very point of time. I will get defensive and that won't end good . I know me)

🌸 recommendation for kdramas, songs , movies and tv shows of any kind are appreciated.

( need a recommendation from my end ? Do try watching • It's Okay to Not Be Okay • 2020 ‧• Romance • kdrama )

• I really cherish this drama because I feel it is very me coded. Don't forget to tell me your views on it if you do watch it.

🌷🌷🌷 I am obsessed with my govind, my protector, my bestie and my supreme support 🌷🌷🌷

NAGAR NANDJI NA LAAL...💌💌💌

Also, my two alltime favourite songs ( hindi)

My alltime favourites ( english)

If you're a creep who just wants to disturb people's mental peace first of all get a life, And second of all try not to try your dirty tricks on me. I am not a girl who will ignore or block you. I very well know some people , who would not only trace you but will make sure to get your life as miserable as possible. MARK MY WORDS !!!

PS :- My brother's bachelor's degree in criminal justice works like magic at times.

🌸 other than this , I am a really friendly person, so feel free to reach out to me.

Tons of love to my stunning mutuals <3 🫴🏻✨I adore you guys so damn muchhhhhh 💌

[yuurei20]

Hello, Yuurei! Do you know if there is a timeline for the main story and events that would make for the best reading order? Even something as vague as "Beanfest is between books 3 and 4" to make a nice little roadmap for rereading purposes? Thank you so much if you can answer this!

Hello hello!! Thank you so much for this question, this was all so interesting to look into!

Reading order for events can be complicated, as the game seems to be playing with the timeline! For every "this is the order of events" compilation I found there was a disclaimer of "except for these points, which don't fit into the continuity," and that might just be how it is until we learn more about what is going on behind the scenes :<

If that is all right, I have put together a rough list of a possible reading order! (Largely by cross referencing the events/main story with things like this graphic, this summary page, and several anonymous posting boards, to learn what theories are out there.)

⚠️JP-server event information included below!⚠️ ⚠️ Also, this is not meant to be a definitive calendar of events! Just an idea about a potential order in which to read things with the least amount of timeline weirdness ⚠️ (but there is still timeline weirdness)

#1: Prologue #2: Book 1 #3: Book 2 #4 Stage in Playfulland #5: Glorious Masquerade #6: Terror is Trending

At the beginning of Playfulland Ace mentions upcoming Halloween preparations and finals, but he doesn't mention the Interdorm Spelldrive Tournament, so it is possible that this event happens after Book 2 (which is specified as taking place in October) but before Halloween.

The biggest issue with this lineup is Ortho, who appears at the very beginning in his college gear, which he doesn't get until Book 6. But they mention Halloween so it must be early in the school year, and it cannot be October of the following year because Trey and Cater are still living in the dorm...if you can forgive Ortho's outfit in the opening scenes, Playfulland otherwise fits in nicely.

Things get complicated with Glorious Masquerade and Terror is Trending, as they seem to be taking place simultaneously: both events begin with two different characters announcing that there is one month left until Halloween.

I would recommend Glorious Masquerade first as we don't actually see Halloween happening at NRC (just Jack and Ace preparing for it), but both events are about lead-ups to two completely different Halloween celebrations being held on the same day and attended by many of the same people.

As the end of Terror is Trending connects directly to the start of Spectral Soiree, it might be less jarring to start with Glorious Masquerade.

The continuity curiosity that people generally point to with the Halloween events is that the prefect is present for multiple people referring to Malleus by name, when they don't actually know what his name is until Book 5.

But there is something consistent across both Glorious Masquerade and Spectral Soiree:

The prefect never calls Malleus anything but Hornton.

It is possible that the game is asking for some suspension of disbelief with this point? Was my theory, but the prefect also uses the "Hornton" moniker during Firelit Sky, so maybe that is just what they do?

#7 Spectral Soiree #8 Book 3 #9 Book 4 #10 New Year's #11 Book 5

Book 5 lasts over a month, with Vil scolding Epel for not practicing during what were ostensibly their winter holidays, so it may go from January to February (the day of the Culture Festival itself is specified as mid-February).

The snow on the main campus seems to completely disappear during the three weeks between Malleus being invited to the VDC and the day of the event, but they might have just cleared it away for the festival.

#12 Harveston

We know Harveston takes place during the winter but not exactly when. Epel recognizes the dwarves from Book 5, so reading it before 5 might feel odd.

#13 Book 6

Book 6 starts only a few days after Book 5 and might technically come before Harveston, but from a reading-order perspective seeing Idia invite himself along to Epel's hometown right after kidnapping several people might be jarring.

Due to the timing of Harveston's initial release Ortho wears his pre-6 archetype gear for Harveston, which is also a point in favor of Harveston happening beforehand (a very busy few days for Epel and Idia). It will be interesting to see if Ortho gets changed to his college gear for the rerun, coming soon to JP server.

#14 Beanfest (1 and 2)

#15 Fairy Gala / Fairy Gala IF

#16 Vargas Camp (1+2)

The only hint we have for the two Vargas Camps is the knowledge that they happen within two weeks of one another and the title of the original event: Spring Happening.

#17 Rabbit Fes

I wasn't able to find any reference to when Rabbit Fes might be happening, but Ortho in his college gear places it after Book 6, and it is heavily spring coded.

#18 Phantom Bride

I was not able to find any specific timing for the Phantom Bride event, but we know there is not any snow on the main street, so presumably it is not during winter.

It seems to be generally assumed by fans that it takes place in June because of the June Bride tradition, and everyone's reluctance to do anything for Idia makes even more sense than usual if it is post Book 6.

#19 Tamashina-Mina

Was also not able to find anything specific for the timing of Tamashina-Mina, but we know it is hot (Jack faints from heat stroke).

Leona mentions a rainy season and Japan's rainy season goes from June to July, so summer seems like a safe bet (it also makes sense to be separated far away from Book 2, considering Leona and Lilia's drama).

#20 Wish Upon a Star

The Starsending also does not seem to have a specified month or season, but it is generally assumed to be happening in July because the event was heavily inspired by Japan's Tanabata, which is on July 7th. (more here!) Tanabata is also referenced by name in the original game.

Like Playfulland, Wish Upon a Star’s main continuity issue is also Ortho: it is mentioned specifically that he cannot participate in the event because he is not actually a student at the school.

He becomes a student in Book 6, which seems like it should put this event before it, except for the Star Rogue subplot. Idia and Ortho discuss the discontinued video game in Book 6, a sequel is Idia’s wish for Wish Upon a Star, and at the end of the event this wish is granted, which hadn't happened as of 6. 

No matter where you read Wish Upon a Star there is going to be some weirdness, so it may be best to decide based on personal preference! If Ortho still not being a student despite having just enrolled is more of a deal breaker than the Star Rogue subplot, it might be better to read it prior to 6.

#21 Lost in the Book with Stitch

Floyd has a line about summer vacation coming soon.

#22 Firelit Sky

Interestingly there do not seem to be any references to Firelit Sky taking place in the summer, but it is generally assumed to be around summertime due to the climate and fireworks festival.

Najma has a line about being worried about Jamil, but the conversation wouldn't be out of place before or after Book 4. Firelit sky might be one of the more flexible events, capable of sliding in just about anywhere, but the atmosphere fits in well with the line up of the Stitch event and Portfest.

#23 Portfest

The Portfest event takes about a month overall, but the time of year is technically never specified, so we do not know what month.

The biggest hint we get might be Rook calling the portwear designs "summery and cool." The aesthetic might fit best with Stitch and Firelit Sky, for reading order purposes.

#24 Bonus: Tsumsted

I have no idea when Tsumsteds 1+2 are presumably taking place, but there is no snow on the main street. As they are light-hearted stories it might be best to enjoy them between events rather than the drama of the main story? Perhaps between Beanfest and Fairy Gala, or Vargas Camp and Rabbit Fest, etc.

I made a chart for reference while putting this post together! There may be better interpretations out there than what all has been listed above, so I will include it as well, for the curious:

(and as always if there is anything I have overlooked, please do let me know! ♡)