#ALTHOUGH that’s the issue i think. like whenever i notice that a friend is objectively hot i can never tell if i like. actually like them
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esotheria-sims · 1 year ago
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Sims Tag
Got tagged by the fabulous @deedee-sims - thank you! 🤗 Throwing in a random in-game pic because I can.
1. What’s your favourite sims death?
Hum, tough one. I guess being struck by lighting is pretty cool, not that I get to see it that often. Also being hit by a satellite, but I’ve literally never seen it happen in my game unless I cheat.
2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?
Alpha, obviously. Although I prefer to call my style ‘semi-realistic’.
3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?
I used to, but now I’m like, nah. Let those sims have some meat on their bones!
4. Do you use move objects?
All the time, bruh.
5. Favorite mod?
If I only had to pick one, then Gunmod’s radiance lighting. Picked based on the fact that it’s always the first mod I get whenever I have to reinstall.
6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?
I think it was Nightlife? But my PC from back then was so weak that I couldn’t get the EP to work at all, save for a couple outfits that were randomly showing up in CAS.
7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?
Been pronouncing it ‘aLive mode’ ever since I started simming. I never even knew there was a debate about it until I saw a post on simblr some years ago.
8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?
What, just one? D: I have a bunch of faves, and you can probably tell who they are by the fact that they crop up in every new iteration of my game.
9. Have you made a simself?
Never, nor do I plan to! Having a sim version of myself in the game would just feel weird.
10. What sim traits do you give yourself?
I don’t know them all by heart and I’m too lazy to google 'em, so pass. xD
11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?
I wouldn’t say that I necessarily have a favorite, but I noticed a lot of my sims tend to have black hair.
12. Favorite EA hair?
Imma go with hairshortcombed solely based on the fact that I don’t have a burning urge to replace it the second I see it in my game.
13. Favorite life stage?
Adults, duh. And teens. They’re pretty fun too.
14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?
I do a bit of everything, but I definitely lean more towards gameplay, especially since starting my BaCC.
15. Are you a CC creator?
Yep! Got my own cc tag and everything! 🙂
16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?
I want to think so! ^^
17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)
Sims 2 all the way, babey!
18. Do you have any sims merch?
Nah
19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?
Nah
20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?
I think it’s gotten more consistent? I’ve been trying to find a balance between realistic and cartoony cc to maintain that elusive ‘semi-realistic’ look that I’m so fond of, and I like to think that I have a pretty good grasp on it now, after so many years of simming.
21. What’s your Origin ID?
Never had one, lol.
22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?
One favorite cc creator? BRUH. I have a 10GB downloads folder, and you better believe every creator whose cc is in there is my favorite! 🤣
23. How long have you had a simblr?
11 years! Golly, has it really been that long?
24. How do you edit your pictures?
By offering a blood sacrifice on a full moon. Nah, kidding. No blood is spilled during my editing process, though it does feel that way sometimes, considering how effin' long it takes me to iron out all the small kinks that annoy me about my screenshots. I kinda hoped having a dedicated photoshop action would help, but it only speeds up the process so much, unfortunately. :(
25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?
For Sims 2? Dunno man. Maybe a higher-res remake with all existing EPs/SPs and all known issues ironed out. Which is probably never gonna happen, but a girl can dream, right?
25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?
I’m partial to Apartment Life because it introduced witches, one of my favorite supernatural life states!
I’m tagging: @blackswan-sims @eleysims @episims @rudhira @ho3sferatu @analog-mothman @nervosims @frauhupfner @mrs-mquve-cc and @gphoenixsims! But feel free to ignore! ^^
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Hey, tw all kinds of bad experiences you have as a fat person, diet stuff, etc, sexual violence
I grew up as a chubby kid. It is genetics but also poverty. My mom is very thin, she's been 88lb her whole life. A weight, I reached when I was in elementary school (admittedly, I am very different build, she's dainty, my shoulders killed a lot of flannels). She sent me from dietitian to dietitian from age 8 on thought the only issue was, that we had no food at home because we were so poor and the only meals I got were the ones I begged from neighbors and teachers (dietitian are free in my country for fat ppl). My dads family on the other hand, look more like me. Wide build and slightly overweight to fat. But all of them want to lose weight. Since forever. Since I was a small kid every new year there was this "weight-loss challenge". Every participant (most family members, even my 85y.o. grandma) had to tell my dad their weight on Sundays and he added them to a chart and who didn't loose weight was publicly shamed by the others. A concept I later saw again when I was anorexic. So, there was that, I grew up fat but pretty athletic, I even did competitive sport. Still, you know, surprising every PE teacher that I am good at sports, bullying at school, etc pp. I came into puberty very early, still in elementary school, which really fucked up my sexuality. Having a C cup when 10 (and immediately experiencing sexual violence from strangers) left me to today unable to have any sexual experience. Also because I feel uncomfortable in my body because of my weight. In my youth I was anorexic and in recovery I gained back to my all-time weight. But I still feel fatter then I am or rather... My view is shit. My body is pretty average, the kind of slightly-overweight that everybody nowadays is. But in my eyes (maybe from childhood maybe from anorexia) the "normal/healthy" weight is waayyy skinnier than is it for society (with bmi and stuff). In contrast, I feel very fat although I am pretty average.
Everyone around me has an unhealthy beauty standart/body image issues/unhealthy diet etc. My bfs mom eats nothing but yoghurt for 4 years now, to lose weight (she didn't lose a pound by now and I would have given up, but ok) and judges my eating choices, whenever I am around (she asked me once why I made myself carrots for breakfast, carrots are the vegetables with the most sugar!!!). She always talks about calorie counting, weight watchers, encourages her friends and family to fast a few days in a row to lose weight, calls them lazy if they say they can't because, they have a life and aren't early-retireds with no hobby but an unhealthy diet. I also gained a lot of weight in the last months from stress, I assume around 30lb. I have a genetic lung disease and had/have to be careful during the pandemic, so I couldn't do a lot of my usual teamsports.
When I recently visited my mom, she greeted me with "Wow, you've become fat" like? Guess what, I noticed!!! Thanks for nothing.
The only one who thinks I am pretty is my bf. But tbh, this goes under beneath all the other voices.
So, I am torn. On the one hand I still have the urge to go back to anorexia, please all my surrounding, participate in their unhealthy diet, and feel better in my body again (because I clearly felt better when I was thinner. Not more athletic or easier-to-move or for medical reasons. I just felt more comfortable in my body). On the other hand I want to eat healthy (which I admittedly didn't so much during the last stressful months) do sport, see how my body will change with that and accept what body will stick with me.
Tbh, the unhealthy voice is most times much louder, which leaves me with a lot of self hate during the last months. It is like the thought, that I had when I was anorexic: "I want to love my body. But only, once I have a body that I objectively don't have to be ashamed of. Because what is it worth, to love my body, if it is still ugly for everyone who sees it?". A very contrary thought, I know. But still, accurate till today.
Any encouraging words or something?
Hi anon,
It sounds like your mom has an unhealthy view on weight, not only her own but pretty much everyone else around her as well, and you've internalized a lot of that.
I understand why the unhealthy voice is sometimes louder - because you've been made to believe that voice is right. It can definitely be a struggle to try and accept your body for the way it is especially after having gone though what you have. But I do believe that, for the sake of your own mental and physical health, it's important to fight that unhealthy voice and do what you need to do to live a healthy life, however that looks for you. Anorexia can be extremely challenging to resist, and you may take some backwards steps, but progress isn't linear.
It's hard not to internalize how people claim to perceive your body, especially your own mother. But your mom seems to be leading an obliviously unhealthy lifestyle, so perhaps it's safe to say that she may not completely know what's best for you.
I don't have personal experience with eating disorders but I do have personal experience with insecurities about my physical appearance. It may seem a little backwards, but it helped me to hear that, no matter what you look like, someone will always have something to say, so it kind of cheapens the worth of their criticisms. It's another way of saying you can't please everyone. So as long as you are healthy and happy, your opinion of yourself is the only one that ultimately matters. That's easier said than done, but it is a place to start.
I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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dreamertrilogys · 2 years ago
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hate hate hate when i realize/discover that one of my friends is hot. like can you (me) get out of here with your confusing & unwanted feelings….
#personally i don’t think i’d be able to have a crush on a friend without being too embarrassed to let my feelings fester like i’d just be#like [bland voice] oh they’re hot. whatever. fact of life#ALTHOUGH that’s the issue i think. like whenever i notice that a friend is objectively hot i can never tell if i like. actually like them#or not. ​whenever i’ve had a crush on anyone it’s always been someone i’m not already friends with or it doesn’t work. THAT DOESN’T MEAN I#ONLY LIKE UNATTAINABLE PEOPLE THO IS THE THING. because i used to sort of like this guy i only saw in the halls and then a little while ago#our respective friend groups merged and so now we’re friends and hang out and stuff but i still very much have a crush on him#but like the other day i noticed that my irl was actually like really hot but i don’t think i’d ever be able to#(allow myself to???) like her romantically bc we were friends first??? bro idk. and yet ideally conceptually i think trc was right#wait actually. maybe i’m sort of in love with all of my friends who knows. anyway#.txt#i know it’s only 1 am but i haven’t slept properly all week so that’s why i’m posting this btw#probably this belongs in the journal (private) not journal (public)#upon further consideration that irl was a bad example because i’m starting to remember that i noticed she was hot (in an objective way not a#crush way) before we became friends. HOWEVER there’s this other irl who i knew and didn’t think was particularly attractive and then we#became friends (before i just knew him from class) and i still thought the same way about him but THEN he got a really good haircut and i#realized he was actually sort of attractive and developed a crush on him for about. 12 hours before i was like what the hell#this is [REDACTED (<- his name in all caps)] we’re talking about and promptly fell out of love with him. which is weird because if the#situation (like the fact that we were friends) was different he’d probably be exactly my type personality wise and all too#irls tag#crushposting#ish??#diary#gender diary#<- only diary tag i use
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yeahimaloser · 4 years ago
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Hi lovely! I adore your writing style and noticed you were taking requests. This is my first request ever so if it comes off a little awkward please forgive me! 👉👈
I was hoping for a scenario where Hawks has been wondering why y/n has been skipping out on get-togethers with him for the past week or two. He gets curious enough one day that he just-so-happens to patrol the area where you run off to after you reject another date with him.
He finds out that you have been going to an outdoor avian clinic and taking classes on how to pamper/massage or preen bird wings in order to surprise Hawks for your anniversary coming up.
But not like totally before Hawks confronts you and blurting out “Have you been cheating on me with a parrot?” 😂
Thank you! I hope this all makes sense. Hugs and kisses!
Hello there!! You are so sweet! and you didn’t come off awkward at all! <3
I am so sorry I didn’t actually mean for this to become an angst fic in the beginning ;-; 
but it is fluffy don’t worry!
warnings: avian Keigo (Keigo having bird like tendencies)
Also I schedule this to be a bit later than I normally post, I’ll most likely be asleep when this goes up so I just wanted to say to everyone thank you for reading!!
word count: 3.3k
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He tapped his foot against the floor of the restaurant, his patience deteriorating every second as he stared at the door.
As the fastest hero, Keigo never really had any patients for just about anything. One thing he hated more than anything was people being late, he moved fast, he wanted people to move fast with him.
All he wanted to do was go on a nice date night, have some dinner, and go home and watch a movie or something. He just wanted to spend time with you.
You normally never skipped out on dates, so why now? 
He had noticed your absence in the last few weeks, more and more you would skip out on him. 
The anxiety bubbling in his heart was starting to spill over, seeping into his attitude in daily life. In his head, he wondered if maybe you were trying to signal to him that you weren’t interested in dating anymore, that maybe you were just silently drifting from him. But he loved the 11 months he got to spend with you, he’d never experienced anything like it. It was fresh, new, loving, he didn’t want it to end. Those thoughts had made him feel miserable for the last week or so, but he was still confused by you. Although you skipped out on dates and such, you still acted so lovingly towards him. You would still come home and snuggle up to him, you would still run your fingers through his hair at night, you would still talk mindlessly about your day, as though nothing was remotely bothering you.
So, maybe you really were busy, perhaps he was just looking too much into the issue.
But still, getting stood up for the 4th time in a row would make anyone a bit upset. 
He left the restaurant, paying for the drink he had ordered, and went on his way home.
Maybe it was a side effect of his quirk, but when he had these sorts of thoughts his wings would get all twitchy. He had done the research and found that when birds were in a high-stress situation they plucked at their feathers. The article also said that when a person that said a bird was attached to someone that abandons them, they get even more stressed and irritated. Which he supposed made sense. He would never admit it to very many people, (and if the press got a hold of it he would honestly shoot himself) but he had some bird tendencies.
Not big ones, just small ones.
He would bob his head in time with music sometimes, his pupils would dilate and contract when he was concentrating on something, he would mindlessly coo and cluck randomly as well.
Luckily, the commission taught him to control his bird-like tendencies, they told him that some of his bird traits were “off-putting”. But he really wasn’t sure what they were talking about, animal quirks weren’t uncommon, but he didn’t complain, he didn’t mind the help. 
But since he’s been dating you, he found himself getting more and more of these tendencies.
A few times, he would find random shiny objects and give them to you, he acted all excited about it too, saying, “I saw it and thought that you could keep it! It’s super pretty so, I don’t know, I thought you’d think it was cool.” After he said that, you just took the objects and told him he was so adorable. 
Another time, when you two were just out and about, he had seen you talk to someone with a similar bird quirk to his. He didn’t even know what came over him, but he squawked at the man, effectively freaking him and you out.
He apologized profusely after that. 
There was one bird-like quality he didn’t mind all that much, and that was the preening of his feathers. It was honestly so relaxing, the dirt and dust from flying seeped into his feathers, so he always found himself soaking his wings in water and then rubbing them with a special kind of oil.
There were some days, however, were all he could do (or all he had time to do) was take a warm towel and gently rub off his feathers. 
And lately, he had found himself going overboard with his preening, pulling more aggressively at his feathers, sometimes even hurting himself. He suspected that it was due to the stress of worrying about what was wrong with you (or him).
He hated all of it, loathed it even. Worse was how hard it was for him to broach the subject with you, whenever he got close he always wussed out. In his mind, even though it bothered him, he didn’t want to lose you. He was so scared that if he brought it up he would hear something he dreaded, and you two would fall apart. 
He loved you so much, he wanted you to stay with him. Another bird trait he learned, some birds mated for life, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel that way about you. He just...he didn’t want to lose you.
There was one possibility that was the worst, and yet the most likely. You had been cheating on him.
He really didn’t want to admit it, but it all sort of added up.
You skipped out on dates so you could go out with this other person. When you would become affectionate with him could be a sign of guilt, he read about that online. And the way you wouldn’t see his texts or missed calls when he knew you were on a lunch break, maybe you were seeing someone else. 
Was he a bad boyfriend? He thought that he had become better at this whole relationship stuff, maybe not perfect, but he was getting there. He knew he was hard to deal with, he wished he could be better for you, he really did. He knew he was busy a lot, tired from work, he knew he wasn't the most affectionate guy, but he wanted you, he wanted you so much it hurt.  Keigo thought that you loved him because he really loved you. 
The thought of having to let you go crushed his heart crushed his spirit too. He really did care for you, he knew that you were the one for him, so the thought of you not returning that feeling hurt him.
He flew through the night sky, looking down at the lights of the city. Normally, a sight like this would have made him smile, made him feel like he was on top of the world.
But his wings just felt uncomfortable, the wind blowing through them just increased the feeling. 
He just felt… done. Like the whole world felt heavy to him. Maybe he really was overthinking everything, but he couldn’t help it, he was made to be observant. 
He knew he had a strange habit of over-complicating things, but it was just his nature he supposed. A trained government agent always has to look into the fine details, at least, that's what he was taught. So, with your absence, he found himself becoming more and more paranoid.
He brought it up to his side-kicks and hero friends, and they all said the same thing; he was just being paranoid. They told him that, “sometimes in relationships, things get a little rough, it happens.” But Keigo couldn’t help but hate the whole ordeal.
He sighed, flying faster to his home.
One time, he had tried to follow you on your lunch break. He supposed it was pretty stalkerish, but he was getting desperate. All he needed was reassurance, just to know if you were actually busy or if that had been a bullshit excuse. He told himself it wasn’t a huge deal, he was just making sure you were doing ok.
...ok maybe it was a bit of a breach of privacy.
He had perched himself on top of a building near your workplace. Keigo had made sure that you wouldn’t be able to see him as he followed you, keeping out of sight as best he could.
His initial thought was you would go to a coffee shop, maybe some sort of expensive restaurant if you were meeting someone. 
Yet, to his surprise, he saw you scarf down a sandwich as you entered an animal clinch.
Were you cheating on him with an animal clinch employee?
He wanted to confront you then and there, but from where he was, he didn’t have any reason to.
It looked innocent enough, you were just going to an animal clinch.
He immediately felt guilty. There was no reason for him not to trust you, you had done nothing wrong in this situation. Maybe you really were working overtime and he was just overthinking everything.
He shook his head, sighing, he unfolded his wings and flew off the building he was perched on.
That was a week ago, it was after the third time you stood him up. And now, although he didn’t have any proof of you cheating, he still felt like he had a reason to confront you. He just felt sick of worrying and overthinking everything, and in all honesty, you weren’t helping the situation. Every time he asked you about it, you always came up with some sort of excuse. 
He landed on his balcony with a loud thump, not caring all that much about the noise. 
As he entered his home, he lifted the hem of his shirt off his head, throwing it on the floor unceremoniously. Walking over to the bathroom, he filled a special bowl full of water and made his way back over to the bed.
It was probably a bad idea to preen himself when he was so aggravated like this, but he wanted to do it, his wings felt so uncomfortable. 
His right-wing raised a bit as he sat down, pulling the feathered stump closer to him.
But before he could even graze the feathers with a damp cloth he had, he heard the front door open and close.
Before he had even realized it, he was already zooming down the staircase of his luscious penthouse, knowing full well you were already inside of his home.
“Hi honey,” you slipped your shoes off, not looking at him yet. “How was your day- Oh,” he crossed his arms over his chest, he was sure his expression was one of utmost anger. 
“Where were you,” his tone was irritated, his wings twitched behind him.
“I was working. Baby what's wrong,” he nearly rolled his eyes at your concerned tone.
“Don’t baby me, you stood me up,” he huffed, “again.” 
He didn’t miss the sorry expression that flashed on your face, “Kei, I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve just been so busy lately. I know I haven’t been fair to you, but I’m not doing anything tomorrow! Look I’ll even make dinner for you, ok? Really, Kei, I’m ”
“Y/N,” here it came, “if your gonna break up with me, just do it already
Well, that certainly shocked you (and him if he was being honest). Your whole expression fell into one of confusion, your eyes looked up at him with genuine hurt.
“What? Keigo what are you talking about? You’re not making any sense, why would I want to break up with you?”
“I don’t know Y/N?! Why have you been avoiding me for so long!?”
You sighed, “Is that what this is all about? Well,” you pulled out some sort of form, reaching it out to him, “here, I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary, but I don’t want you to think that I’m doing something dishonest.”
He snatched the piece of paper out of your hand, maybe a bit too harshly. He looked at it and was immediately confused.
It was information on a class about… how to preen birds?
He gave you a confused look, to which you gave him a light smile, “I see how frustrating it is for you to preen them, so I wanted to help out. I saw that I could learn how and thought it would be a cute thing for us to do together.”
He stood in shock for a few moments, letting the guilt wash over him. 
“I-I’m so sorry.”
You chuckled a bit, “Don’t be, it was wrong of me to leave you high and dry on dates, I just had to work overtime in order to get these classes in.”
Now, he felt twice as guilty.
This whole time he had thought you were drifting away from him, and worse, he thought you were cheating on him. He felt sick. His friends were right, he really was overthinking the whole situation. And worst of all, you were working overtime to do something so nice for him, and here he was, yelling at you.
“I-I’m so sorry, Y/N. Jesus,” he shook his head, “I’m an idiot. You were off doing something so thoughtful for me, and I was being a prick, yelling at you. I’m sorry honey. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?” 
But you just chuckled, “Keigo, really, it’s ok. I should have at least done something to convince you, or rescheduled our dates. It’s ok honey, don’t feel bad.”
You moved in to give him a hug, which just happened to be the moment you realized his shirt was missing.
“Uh,” he saw your body straighten up, and your face makes a flustered expression, “why is your shirt…”
“Oh, well,” he scratched his feathers nervously, “it’s kinda funny, I was just about to preen my wings. So I have to take off my shirt in order to get the water to the back. Kind of a weird coincidence, huh.”
“Well,” you looked at him, eyes softening, “can I help?”
Keigo was sure his heart had frozen, after a moment or two, he answered, “S-sure.”
-----
You pulled a stool for him to sit on as you sat down on the bed.
Keigo wasn’t sure why, but he felt so anxious. To tell the truth, he never really had someone preen his wings before. He would always do it himself, it was an annoying effort sometimes, but the commission was very big on him looking good for the public eye.
His wings weren’t super sensitive, but the light touches of your fingers running through them felt like pure heaven to him. The sensation was like having someone giving a message, but… different. It felt nicer, more loving, more slow and nice.
The whole sensation made him shutter.
“Is this ok,” he didn’t miss the anxiety in your tone.
“Yeah,” he said, breathlessly. “Perfect, keep...keep doing that babe.”
The little pulls of his feathers relaxed him more and more, making him seep into the back of the stool he was sitting on.
When you had started to add water to the mix, he didn’t notice his cooing.
“Kei?”
“Hmm,” his mind was so far gone in the relaxation of your hands that he barely registered your voice.
“Are you cooing,” you had to suppress your smirk as his body went rigid, as well as his wings.
“I,” his face was almost as deep red as his wings, “s-sorry.”
You giggled, “Don’t apologize,” you pressed softly into the apex of some of his feathers, “if it feels good, it’s fine if you coo. I won't judge you.”
Softly, he let out a few coos, but he didn’t want to freak you out.
But soon, he realized he couldn’t keep them in, you were just doing so well. 
You moved softly to grab his feather oil, “Uh, so how does this even work? Do I take a few drops and run them through each individual feather or something?”
You’ve seen him preen his wings before, but until recently you had just started to pay attention to how he exactly did them. You had noticed that the oil he used on his feathers gave a shine to the red plumage, but you had noticed he was a bit cautious with the serum.
“O-oh,” you didn’t miss the light stutter and the soft up-take of his voice, “Um, if you want you can just put a few drops in your hand and rake them through. You don’t have to do each one if you don’t want to.”
You thought for a moment, “Alright, I think I’ll just do each feather. I wanna get this right after all.”
And, honest to god, Keigo gulped.
You’ve never seen him this relaxed and yet so tense, you would have thought he was drugged. You would be lying if you didn’t enjoy it though, the way Keigo melted into you, it was weirdly adorable.
“Yeah,” he let out, “yeah ok.”
After that, it was like Keigo could barely talk. 
For a moment, you considered something. When you and Keigo had started to date, you had noticed how he was a bit touch-starved. He craved affection, whether he was aware of this or not, you weren’t sure.
But it made sense, his childhood past, and plus, this was his first real relationship. You wondered if Keigo had ever been shown so decent, honest love before.
Perhaps his bird instincts also played a part in how affectionate he could be. You read once, that when male birds became attached to their mates they tended to get affectionate as well as loving. Plus, some birds preened their mates as a show of love, you wondered if what Keigo was doing was just his way of showing how happy he was with you preening him.
After you were done, Keigo’s head was light and tired. The whole experience for him felt magical, he wasn’t sure why though. He preened himself a bunch of times, why was this the first time he felt this way?
But Keigo’s head couldn’t really process the question at the moment.
“You wanna go to sleep,” you asked, bringing your hands lightly over his shoulders, kissing his forehead.
He let out a small, “Mhm,” as he stood up. You had to help him to his bed because of how wobbly he was.
After you carefully helped him into bed, you turned to go to the bathroom to wash your hands, but Keigo dragged you down.
“No,” he whined softly as you tried to get out of his grip, “cuddles.”
(You couldn’t lie, this had to be the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen him do)
He nuzzled into you, his body flushed against yours. 
That’s when you heard it, the little chips. You didn’t say anything, scared that if you did he would stop. You played with his hair as he chirped into your neck, his wings shivered a bit.
You decided to ask him, “Hey, Kei.”
He hummed lightly.
“I’ve never seen you like this, does it have something to do with your bird instincts?”
Keigo thought for a moment, “Maybe,” his voice was light you noticed, “it could be. Kinda just something I experience because that’s what birds do with their...mates.”
You chuckled, running your hands through his wings again, “Maybe it’s because you're also, like, really touch starved.”
“Oh yeah, maybe. I mean,” he looked at you, like a lovesick puppy, “you are my first time in a real relationship.”
You laughed lightly, going back to lightly stroking his hair and feathers.
“Hey Y/N,” Keigo’s voice was tired, and yet, it was soft.
“Yeah honey,” you asked in an equally gooey voice.
He nuzzled in closer to you, giving you a soft, yet deep kiss, “I love you.”
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giaourtopita · 4 years ago
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hi!! i would like to request a mc who has been personally hurt by the brothers' sin. what i mean by that is, for lucifer for example, the mc might have a parent who was too proud to acknowledge their mistakes and hurt mc or for asmo maybe mc had an ex that cheated on them, or for mammon maybe mc's sibling was too greedy so they fought with them over inheritance or something. how would they react knowing this?
it doesn't have to be really angsty or serious or anything but i thought it'd be interesting to see the brothers come to terms with that!
feel free to ignore this btw, but i hope you like writing this if you accept!!❤️❤️🙏🏼
when their sin has hurt them
thank you for requesting, this was a nice way to get my mind off of some things that have been bothering me lately. i used your examples for asmo, luci and mammon, i hope i did this justice! some of these take place early in the story btw. i also did the twins together (and i changed it a little!)
warnings: gn mc, angst, talks of self harm (satan's part) & disordered eating(?)/unhealthy habits (for the twins' part)
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lucifer
- mc had been distant with him since the beginning, he didn't like it but he understood. he was a stranger after all, a dangerous one at that.
- however, after that whole thing with belphie got resolved and everyone got closer he expected that he would get closer with mc as well.
- but after a while he realized that he should probably do something about this situation...
- he went into their room, right before their alarm for rad would ring. once it did, he tried not to frighten them by towering over them so he sat in a corner and started talking to them about what was bothering him, this was something rare for the avatar of pride but he had to do it.
- once he told them everything that was on his mind, mc told him that it wasn't him, they wanted to stay away from but rather his sin.
- lucifer was glad that mc didn't reduce him and probably his brothers too as just the sins they represented, even though he knew that he was still greatly affected by his sin.
- but mc also told him that they had a parent they cut off a few years ago that was too prideful to admit it whenever they made a mistake so he reminded them of said parent.
- he thought about it and if he had to be around someone that was even in the slightest like his father he would try his best not to be near them or interact with them.
- in the end, he and mc decided to try just hanging out for small periods of time so they could get used to him.
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mammon
- mc didn't like being around him, even though they didn't know him. he thought maybe he really is a worthless scumbag if not even a human can stand being around him.
- he could usually handle it when his brothers were being mean to him but he didn't like it when mc was distant. they had a pact so the fact that mc was acting like that was even more discouraging. it could've also been that he also wasn't the best towards them in the beginning but it still hurt.
- he seriously thought of apologizing many times because he didn't like being stuck in a pact with someone that avoids him.
- so he talked with them, he was glad it wasn't exactly him they didn't like but his sin. honestly, he could've started sobbing right in front of them but he tried to keep it together.
- in the end, they just started talking about how greed can affect people both directly and indirectly like what happened to mc, whose siblings got so greedy that started fighting them for their share of the inheritance to the point where they had to step away and cut them off.
- mammon felt bad. he started thinking how his behavior affects his brothers, without taking into account that his brothers aren't regular demons either. mc had to remind him that the rest of his brothers are also affected by their sins so it's okay. they just had to understand each other better.
- still, after talking to mc he started being more careful about what he's doing with his money. he tried to tone it down a little when it came to money related issues, mc didn't ask for it but it certainly was appreciated!
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leviathan
- honestly, he barely even noticed that mc wasn't around him as much. he spends most of his day alone in his room so it wasn't very noticeable.
- once he did notice though, he blamed the fact that mc wasn't hanging out with him as much to fact that he's an otaku and a shut-in.
- compared to the rest of his brother, he can actually not go on a rampage as easily. really, the first time mc saw him like that was during the tsl quiz and it was scary, it reminded them of a friend that was so jealous of them that drove other people away from them.
- even though this was a bad reaction on levi's part and mc managed to still get a pact with him and although having a pact with him did give them some sort of reassurance, it wasn't enough.
- after getting a pact, mc and levi obviously weren't as close as them with mammon and that made the human feel a little bad for him. maybe they misjudged him?
- hearing from the rest of the brothers that levi was usually in control of his sin, made them think about it more seriously. they went into his room and talked about it with him.
- since what caused this was during the tsl quiz, levi actually apologized and the two started hanging more.
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satan
- from the get-go mc would avoid him, he didn't know what he did wrong so he wanted to ask them why they were distant.
- it couldn't have been that he's a demon, they get along with the rest of his brothers just fine! maybe too fine, if we're being honest.
- still satan had to know why, if there was something wrong he would try to fix it.
- so when he finally got the chance to be around them, he asked them. and he certainly didn't expect the answer he got.
- turns out mc was avoiding him because when they get angry they can't control their reactions, much like him. only instead of destroying objects and hurting others emotionally, their reactions were basically the opposite when they got angry they would hurt themselves, they would cut, bite, scratch or hit themselves.
- he was the first person to know about this, he felt bad that it was his sin that was causing them to do all these things but he couldn't take away their anger.
- what he could help them at though was making their anger hurt less, whenever he would feel them getting angry he would take them to break things until that became a habit.
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asmodeus
- being the touchy person that he is, he was very weirded out by the fact that mc wasn't being very touchy with him, but that's just what he thought it was mc just wasn't the touchy type.
- after one time asmo started full on big spooning them, mc used their pact to get him off of them and stormed off the room.
- asmo felt really bad, not knowing what to do and not wanting to upset mc he started asking his brothers, that's when he found out that mc saw their ex partner cheating on them, literally caught them on the act!
- mc heard about asmo asking his brothers and felt bad since what happened wasn't exactly his fault.
- asmo felt bad about what happened, he knew that it wasn't his fault but his sin is supposed to make people feel good, not this! especially not when it comes to mc!
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beelzebub & belphegor
- mc felt uncomfortable when being around one of the twins but this discomfort tripled when the other twin was there too.
- the human had a relative who had very bad coping mechanisms. whenever said relative would feel even a little bit down they would eat excessive amounts of food and then sleep for two days straight.
- even though this was very upsetting, what made mc feel uncomfortable was the fact that their relative died due to their habits.
- so seeing them act the way their relative did, hurt them. even more because they liked the twins and they both noticed their awkwardness around them they set up a sleepover in the attic.
- during that time mc managed to explain how they feel about their sins and that they were worried about them.
- when it was the twins' turn to talk, they explained that their sins aren't exactly the same as the others'. - while some of their brothers have it better controlling the sin, the twins don't have the luxury of doing that because their sins are more physical. meaning if belphie doesn't sleep or beel doesn't eat it's going to hurt them (and make them go on a rampage) and since the twins have telepathy it's also going to hurt the other twin too.
- after hearing all that mc stopped worrying, because they're just doing what they have to do and compared to that relative they're doing a good job.
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iammyownvariant · 3 years ago
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Reader (Ghosts BBC, Mentioning of Alison/Mike and Alison/Thomas)
SUMMARY: You grew up in a wonderful big house full of ghosts. But why did you see them anyway? Reader Insert Series: BBC Ghosts AN: As I haven't the time to fully write out this idea, here's a shortened version of a prompt that has been playing inside my mind. Based on a post I viewed recently: I have always thought that if I'd been Alison, I'd be scared to death about getting pregnant or having a miscarriage and seeing that ghost child all the time. Now I could write something angsty about this, or something funny. I decided to go for a different route and wrote how it would be to be born in that household, with Alison and Mike as your mum and dad. (So no miscarriages or creepy things, just growing up with ghosts). Enjoy! PS. If anyone feels like picking up this idea or exploring elements of it, please do <3 -- -- Seeing ghosts was a normality to you. As you grew up, you saw them around the house and they were your friends. You saw them in school, saw them in the streets and basically everywhere you went. And you more than often became friends with them.
So this was how mum felt, hmm?
You could not say that you led a normal life. Seeing the ghosts and interacting with them wasn’t the oddest thing of all. No. The oddest thing you found, was something only revealed to you at a much later date, when you were already grown. But let’s cut back to when you were little.
You grew up in a wonderfully big home that your mum and dad had inherited by pure luck (or was it misfortune?). The house cost them everything and more than often people had wondered why they had started having kids during such a stressful period in their lives – because the home was still a bit of a wreck when you were born.
The house was large and wonderful and yours. You had never known any other place and you felt no need to ever move elsewhere. You loved it here. It was a certain love that made your mum and dad all the more determined to keep the place no matter what.
Apart from living in a fantasy-like building, your life was pretty normal.
Except for the ghosts.
The first time your parents noticed you saw them was when you were just a toddler and your father freaked out because you seemed to be talking to someone who wasn’t there. Your mum, being able to see them after a nearly-fatal accident, confirmed his fears though. You were playing with one of the ghosts that inhabited the house. Your parents thought it was a one off, until your sister was born four years later and she exhibited the same signs as you had.
Thus, the theory that seeing ghost was inheritable came into existence.
But as you had been seeing them since you were born, you held no fear of the inhabitants of the house. And there were a lot of them. It meant you were never alone. It was soothing in a way. Whenever there was something wrong or you felt sad or down, one of the ghosts was bound to cheer you up.
You especially loved Humphrey as a child. You loved his soothing voice and the tales he would tell when you couldn’t sleep. Truth to be told, you had a bit of a crush on the late Sir Humphrey Bone as a kid, thinking his face to be really pretty. So pretty, you often helped when his head and body were apart. You would go searching for another of the ghosts to pick up his head and put him back together whenever he lost it again. Though sometimes it would just be his head on your nightstand. Others might think this depravingly morbid, but it brought you a sense of safety, knowing he was there watching you. It chased away any bad dreams.
You often held sleepovers with Kitty. She was a lovely giggling young woman, and she loved to play hide and seek with you and your sister in the grand garden surrounding your home. The three of you would often giggle way into the night when either your mum would come to tell you to please go to sleep – or Robin joined in and did some of his caveman word games with the three of you – which made the evening all the better (no matter how often Kitty would exclaim that it was supposed to be a girls night only).
Having the ghosts around wasn’t always fun though. For instance, when you were a teenager and were playing dressing up and imagining all the boys who would swoon over you, only to see a head stick through your wall and telling you off. Auntie Fanny was a real pain sometimes, always talking about how you should be decent, how you should dress, how to hold your fork and knife during a dinner with guests. It was frustrating but she always managed to get on your nerves.
Your sister didn’t fare much better with her and suffered the same mouthiness of the former lady of the house. It didn’t help that the ghost woman still jumped out of a window in the midst of the night either. Your sister failed one of her exams once because she couldn’t focus on learning the material because Fanny Button kept her up each night with her screams. It was thanks to Thomas’ support that she was forced to focus on her schoolbooks and thanks to the other ghosts (and mum, who was pretty much threatening them to do as she said) to keep Auntie Fanny in check. In the end, your sister had changed back to a different room. The previous one she had occupied had been chosen by her because of the epic royal bathroom attached to it. Now she slept closer to yours again and took to using the shared bathroom without complaining. You didn’t mind, you liked having her close again.
Out of all the ghosts, you found the Captain to be the most tiresome as you were young. He was always drilling on about what you and the others should do. Always focusing on schedules that you should follow. Telling you off like you were a soldier.
Pat was way kinder, and often a bit too soft. You knew he often hung around your younger sister, because she was more outgoing than you were and he loved to be outside in nature. He helped her do all sorts of tricks, climb trees, shoot a bow and arrow – dangerous stuff even. But he taught her to do it responsibly, despite what you may expect of a man with an arrow lodged in his throat.
And then there was the one who frightened you like no other. Not even the plague citizens living in the cellar, who always kindly helped you with whatever issue you came to talk about. Yep, one of the ghosts scared you for a while: you usually tried to avoid Julian. As you were young, you thought he was an old man, wearing no pants, and he had a mean streak to him – jealousy you often found. He didn’t particularly seemed to like kids either, so you were fine with him going out of your way. As you grew older you realised Julian wasn’t actually as bad as you thought him to be. He even saved your life once or twice by pushing away or picking up a dangerous object that might have injured you otherwise. He was watching over you, like all the others were. And as you grew into a teenager and passed that sweet 16, you noticed a different gleam in his eyes. Julian changed. He became more gallant, more of a smooth talker when around you. But that behaviour ended quite abruptly, although the gleam of admiration never left his eyes. You wondered what had frightened him so to stop his advances on you. Whatever it was, you were grateful. Julian was not your type and never would be. (Later on you found out he had been challenged to a duel by Thomas who wanted to defend your honour, as child of the lovely Alison).
And then there was Jemima, she was the best friend of you and of your sister. As children she was just amazing to play with. First, she was older, and knew cool games you and your sibling had never heard of. Then, you grew to be the same age and she was the coolest girl you would ever know. And then, you grew older and she grew quieter. But you never ceased your habit of singing chilly songs with her.
You were a child, growing up between ghosts, and you felt safe between them. And though your father swore he could see them, most of his interactions with the house ghosts was initiated through you or your sister. He just didn’t possess the gift. But he was the greatest dad there ever lived. He loved doing stuff with you and your sister, going out, do fun things. He was a swell dad, filled to the brim with love for you and your sibling. He’d do anything to keep the two of you safe and happy and clothed and fed – even if things financially didn’t always go well for your family. You loved him to bits.
Your mum tried to warn you of the dangers of seeing ghosts. How those who could not see them would think it weird – would think you to be weird. You minded her words and sensibly, didn’t let anything show while in school. Even though, you were troubled with the ghost of a former teacher who kept sitting at a way too small child’s desk next to you and pester you throughout the lessons. You were glad when your mum told him off, some day after lessons. She had to sneak into the school with you. Oh boy, you had loved her firm voice, her confidence, and the fact that the ghost stuck to a different classroom from then on without coming near you again.
Your sister had a bit of a harder time. She let herself be distracted by the ghosts of a few children who had died in a school fire ages ago. While you had gotten away with explaining to them how you could not talk to them while others were around, your sister didn’t mind that rule though, and your parents struggled more than once with comments on how they should take your sister to see a doctor about this. Eventually, your sister learned, as she grew older. But more than often she would ignore what others thought of her and still communicate with the dead whilst other living beings were around.
But despite the fortune, or misfortune, of seeing ghosts, your life was pretty normal as you grew up. You loved all house ghosts for different reasons.
While Mary was easily one of your favourites, she was also a bit daft to the modern ways. Simple, might be a better word. She often promised to help you with your homework, but she never could attribute anything that you didn’t already know. So you often had to distract her with small tasks or tell her to hang out with Kitty or Robin instead.
And when Mary was gone it would be Thomas who would take over. Although he was easily distracted by art and snivelly poems, he would always try his best to focus and help you and your sister through each demeaning homework task. Sir Thomas Thorne was always nearby when you needed him. He had the tendency to sing songs to you as a baby, create old fashioned nursery rhymes when you were a toddler, play silly games with you as a child, motivate and guide you as a teenager.
In hindsight, you should have seen it coming. With all the care he held for you, with the warm tingling feeling it gave you whenever he was around. You should have known. And when you were a teenager and dated that ghost boy from two blocks away, it was Thomas who completely lost it and told you the boy would be no good for you, and that you deserved someone better. Someone more permanent. Someone alive.
Your mother and Thomas had a huge fight then – ("Someone more permanent than a ghost? That's rich coming from you!" your mum had shouted) all ghosts were listening in. But your dad was none the wiser. And so were you. Because you did not catch all references, and you did not understand each jab and insult thrown like a ping pong ball. And when your mum sat with her hands in her hair and Sir Thomas’ arm wrapped around her shoulder, you thought they had just made up. And then your father came in and he gave your mother solace. They hugged for a long time, and Thomas had just gone into the adjacent room. But that was all there was to it.
Of course it wasn’t though. Because your mother was strong. Darn strong. You loved it about her. The whole attitude she had, the air with which she wandered around the home and instructed the ghosts like she owned them. Your father said it hadn’t always been like that, that it had grown over time. In the beginning she had been ill-at ease, easily manipulated by the inhabitants of their home, had been often looked at funnily and ruined many a great business deal for talking or listening to the ghosts. She still did that – listen to them. She still embarrassed herself and your whole family along with it. Like that time you were at a beach party with family and friends and she had an entire conversation with a family of the 1960’s who were dead. Yeah, you’d rather not think back on that.
Or the one time one of she reported a crime to a dead officer.
Yeah.
But your mother was your hero. She was strong, fierce, and always stood up for you and your sister.
To find out a much deeper and darker truth then, about your family, was world shattering. And it was all because your sister had been in an accident and you came home to find Thomas in all states. And when you asked the other ghosts what had occurred they told you he was crying about his child. And that’s only when the pin dropped and you realised why this man was always working in your best interest and being so darn warm and kind for a person who was dead. Because you'd not missed the many times he showered your mother with affection. Or the way she would smile at him when he gave her another compliment. Or the way they would be just a little...too close. Could your sister be the child of a ghost? Impossible, right?
And you confronted your mum about it.
And she broke down.
Alison Cooper confessed to you, while your father was away at work, that she had been entangled with the ghost of Sir Thomas Thorne after a few heavy drinks and a way too fun party held at their home. Apparently, she had been incredibly drunk and had said things she otherwise wouldn’t have admitted. What happened should not have been possible by far. But Thomas had been able to actually feel her, and Alison had believed that no ghost could actually cause consequences with a human who was still alive. Perhaps her near-death experience had thrown something into the mix. We would never know. But Alison found herself pregnant after days spent without a touch by your dad, Mike. The first thought had been to terminate the pregnancy, but remembering the dove that still liked to terrorize their bedroom, Alison had grown scared. She realised she could not terminate the pregnancy or she might be faced with a ghost of her own baby. And you realised this was not your sister she was talking about. This was you.
So instead, Alison had pleaded Thomas to keep their secret (which he had done poorly and every ghost knew what had truly occurred, but luckily your dad could not interact with them), and your mum seduced your dad. They were already married, there were no contenders, your father believed you were theirs and never held a doubt. In hindsight, it explained your paleness- and the seeing of ghosts. It had been deemed the impossible, and for a long while, Alison thought and hoped that you were a child of Mike’s after all.
Mike took it all up really well, with you being what is called an accident. He was instantly smitten – as were all of the ghosts to be honest. Alison thought things would work our after all.
But then, when Mike wanted to have another kid, and though they tried, it took three years and a lot of desperation to admit to seeing a doctor. And then they were faced with the terrible truth that Mike wasn’t fertile at all. The news was delivered to your mum first, with Mike away and only the house ghosts listening in. It was a shock to all of them, mostly to Alison who had been pointed at the result by another ghost doctor. She managed to hide away the evidence, the true results, and together with newly found ghost friends she made at the hospital, fabricated a new lie. Mike was never to know that you could not possibly be his.
So instead, Alison was persuaded by Thomas and her undying love for Mike. He wanted another baby, she wanted them to be happy. Deal done. Thomas fathered a second ghost-seeing child with your mum. Your sister. The one who was recovering in hospital after a nasty car crash. (And luckily, she got out alive and safe and you got to hug her again tightly because no matter what, your sister would always be closest to you - all ghosts in spite).
So there you were, hearing your mother’s confession. The understanding dawning upon you that you did not see ghosts because of just your mum – but because you father was one. It all made so much sense. And it took a lot of strength to keep your mouth shut about it to Mike, your father.
Your real father, Thomas, you found, was understanding. And you were glad more than once that he could not interact with Mike. You had warned him that you would keep calling Mike dad, even if he wasn’t biologically. And Mike remained none the wiser. You still loved your non-biological dad as fiercely as you had before. You’d just glare a lot more in Thomas’ direction for a while.
In the end, you ended up marrying a young ‘living’ partner. You made sure that both Mike and Thomas were leading you down the aisle – even if Mike was never to know it. All Ghosts loved it, loved how you recognised Thomas to be your father. They also loved it how you never once dropped the truth on Mike or let him down. In your eyes, he would always remain on a pedestal as the perfect dad. It just so happened that you had two now.
As you somehow had expected, Alison died too young. An accident out of love, one of the ghosts had said. (She was furious at Thomas for many years to come, but she could not help but love him still.) During the years she was angry at Thomas, she tried to convey a message to Mike. She wanted him to know the truth, but he hadn’t understood her dying last breath, and he hadn’t understood her hauntings. ("It say's Thomas... dad? dad? Wait a minute, isn't Thomas one of the ghosts? Yeah, of course he is dead. Duh!") And he seemed delighted that she was still there, even as he started dating a new woman and ended up marrying her. (Alison was okay withit, but only after smashing a few vases and making that new woman's life a living hell). It was no wonder your dad wanted to move elsewhere quite soon after his second marriage. I mean, living with your deceased wife and your new crumpit was a bit weird, right? Your dad, Mike, handed the house to you and your sister. She chose not to stay and lived her live elsewhere, visiting occassionally, while Mike and his new wife settled somewhere close by. You remained in the huge mansion with your husband and your children, enjoying the way the ghosts watched over them as they had watched over you, feeling safe and happy. Because with these ghosts you were at home.
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blackradandmad · 3 years ago
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why blippi is rotting yr children's brains
preface: i literally expect no one to read this. it is an essay length, strong opinion piece critiquing a niche youtube-based children's show that i don't expect most of y'all to even have knowledge of lol. but like, i promise that even if you know nothing about what i'm talking about, in my incredibly, super humble opinion, it's a good piece of writing and interesting nonetheless. anyway if you read this whole thing for some reason yr really hot and we should kiss.
i thoroughly vet everything my child watches before he watches it, episode by episode. and we rarely watch youtube for entertainment; we usually just look up educational videos when he has a question about something and wants more detail than i can provide him. and that's mainly because children's content on youtube is so fucking troubling and distressing. i don't judge parents who give their children a tablet at a restaurant at all bc i've been there and sometimes it's easier on everyone to just put on a video and avoid a giant scene, but i do judge parents who just leave their children alone with youtube kids on autoplay.
take stevin john, a literal millionaire who got famous from dressing up as a silly character called blippi and going on tours of places like aquariums, zoos, construction sites, etc and posting it on youtube. this has branched into a whole empire of blippi videos, hulu shows and specials, live shows and tours (that he outsources to another character actor), merchandise and so on. this 30-something year old man cites his main influence as being mr. rogers, but i question if he's ever even seen an episode of that program.
mr. rogers had no background in early childhood development or media production, but he revolutionized the world of children's media, because he respected his audience and didn't shy away from real world situations, all while creating a show with an enormous heart. mr. rogers begins his episodes by inviting the viewer in, literally changing his attire to be more comfortable, and talking about/doing things he genuinely cares about. whereas mr. rogers calmly and maturely addresses the viewer, blippi puts on a high pitched, contrived voice, interjecting every other sentence with a forced exclamation such as, "teehee! we're having so much fun!"
i don't find it a coincidence that john (blippi) is a veteran, either. his videos are completely devoid of the absurd, abstract, childlike thinking that makes children's media fun, creative, and entertaining. his thinking and process is methodical, devoid of emotion, and very superficial. this line of thinking clearly shows the kind of creative sterilization and emphasis on sameness and conformity instilled in the military. blippi simply observes things and interacts with them in a stale, matter-of-fact way. "this ball is purple! this ball is pink! anyway... what's over there? teehee! a car! vroom, vroom!" objects are colors, toy cars don't do anything but drive, curiosity is simply not encouraged.
he uses the "it's educational!" excuse to hide the fact that his show lacks everything that makes media a valuable resource for children to consume in the first place. further than identifying colors, numbers, and the occasional letter or shape, there is just this total lack of children's need for social and emotional development. when mr. rogers breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and let them know they're special, it feels authentic and natural, because we've spent the last half hour building whole worlds with diverse characters and unique stories in a pretend neighborhood, learning about and enjoying different musical instruments, being exposed to and making friends with (even if parasocially, it is still a real bond to children when done properly) children who are similar to us in character regardless of physical or environmental differences, feeding the fish, making art together, and so on. when blippi tells the viewer, "you are very special, and i enjoy spending time with you!" it falls completely flat and feels unearned, because the last half hour was spent running around a soft play center pointing at bright, colorful objects, visiting interesting locations like farms or fruit production factories while failing to acknowledge the humanity of the humans actually working there (everything is machine or product focused; the human workers are simply an extension of the machine), learning "fun facts" about elephants that just list attributes of elephants, not taking the opportunity to inform the viewers of elephants' intelligence, or diet, or matriarchal society. it is a loud, sensory overwhelming display of a man so disconnected from the social and emotional needs and desires of children that he assumes they're stupid, easily entertained idiots who only need some silly dances and fast-moving cartoon graphics to give their attention (meaning time and desire to purchase products meaning $$$). john clearly views his audience as a means to gaming the algorithm and ultimately a paycheck by the hollow way he addresses them.
the show is so narcissistic, so focused on all the fun blippi is supposedly having, but he lacks any of the character traits that make individual children's show hosts memorable, so much so that he was able to have someone else who doesn't even vaguely resemble him dress as blippi and impersonate him and host the show or appear at live shows, and it went unnoticed by most of his toddler and child audience. the show is so formulaic and the character of blippi is so unmemorable that instead of taking the blue's clues route of developing a story of the host leaving for college and his brother now stepping in, or making some sort of believable excuse for the change in actors, they can simply swap him out with some random guy and not acknowledge it at all. although a comedy show for older children, the amanda show in no way could or would try to replicate the show with the same name but swapping out amanda bynes with a random teenage girl who is clearly not amanda bynes. it's weird and nonsensical and shows that his character is so much of a farce put on for a paycheck that not even his dedicated audience is affected or even cares when he is replaced by a random, unknown person.
this is completely garbage content made by an opportunist with no experience with children who saw his nephew watching children's youtube content, took it at complete surface level and still hasn't realized that while children's content only looks and feels so easy, entertaining, and enriching because it is so hard to do well. even with outsourcing his music, that aspect of the show still sucks. famous and successful children's musician, raffi, is known for his song describing the life of a little white whale, called "baby beluga." it opens with a calm strumming of his guitar, followed by the lyrics, "baby beluga in the deep blue sea/swim so wild and you swim so free/heaven above/sea below/and a little white whale on the go." is it silly and kind of pointless? yes, but the point is that he is captivating children and showing them the fun of listening to music, dancing, singing, and appreciating art. the "excavator song" featured in an episode of blippi about construction vehicles opens with what sounds like a default garageband loop and the flatly sung lyrics, "i'm an excavator/i'm an excavator/hey dirt, see you later/i'm an excavator." i don't feel i have to meticulously analyze the aforementioned lyrics; the stark contrast should speak for itself.
i have a million more criticisms about both blippi specifically and youtube children's content as a whole, but this is already so long and i doubt many people will get this far anyway. it's an issue i was completely apathetic towards until i had my own child and had to wean him off these kinds of junk food shows because i realized the fast-paced visuals and bright colors and repetitive songs/lyrics were putting him in this spaced-out, fugue state, and he thought he could demand this show or that show whenever he wanted. the moment he started regularly yelling things like, "watch! cars!" or "no! click it!" i knew i had to be a lot more invested in the things he watched even if just for entertainment or as a soothing message. i showed him an episode of mr. rogers yesterday and feared it would be too slow to hold his attention, but he was mesmerized, greeting and interacting with mr. rogers verbally, asking me, "what's that?" to different objects on the screen. since purging this low-brow children's entertainment, he has had a noticeable increase in attention span and concentration, can focus on a task for longer amounts of times, is more likely to "read"/look through books without me initiating it, and doesn't throw a fit when the tv/my laptop is off.
i just know that for me, growing up with so much unsupervised internet access definitely led me to real-world pain and consequences, and it seems like now children are born with an iphone as an extension of their arm. if my child is going to be consuming videos, i'm definitely supervising every second and am going to be highly critical of the videos and the credentials (or lack thereof) of the creators and team behind it. but i also know, from pure observation admittedly, that parents letting youtube kids autoplay parent their children for hours at a time is not an uncommon occurrence. and it worries me that a generation of children are being raised on videos that rely on being as loud and bright and superficially enjoyable as possible. what's the use of a child knowing their colors and alphabet if they don't know how to treat people with kindness and empathy and respect? there is something wrong for a children's show host to plug the spelling of his name at the end of his videos ("well, that's the end of this video. but if you wanna watch more of my videos, just type in my name! can you spell my name with me? b-l-i-p-p-i!") after essentially rotting his audiences' brains for a half hour. there's something so insidious about the prioritization of naming different parts of construction vehicles over honest depictions of and conversations about dealing with feelings, or why someone with autism may act differently than you, or what to do when you feel lonely, or ways to make art and express yrself creatively. also, not to mention the blatant police propaganda and outright worship is seriously jarring; as a black mother to a visibly non-white child, i cannot sit there and watch blippi show kids how to be a bootlicker for the shittiest profession on earth, but that could be a whole essay in and of itself.
anyway, thanks for reading, if yr looking for quality children's content, i recommend, in no specific order: mr. rogers, sesame street, the electric company, molly of denali, daniel tiger, bluey!, blue's clues, the odd squad, word party, trash truck, puffin rock, uhh... that's definitely not an extensive list but that's just off the dome!!! ok bye y'all <333
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haworthiaace · 4 years ago
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Magic Misfits AU
Ok so basically we made an au based off of the fact that Scar kept calling his village the village for magical misfits. Scar finds out that he somehow ended up on a server for magical misfits, and now he’s created a sort of safe haven within the server, so naturally they flock to it. Some hermits don’t surprise him, the ones that don’t really bother making an effort to hide their magic, or the ones who can’t hide it. But some hermits deeply confuse him. Chaos ensues. 
TLDR Scar becomes a magical therapist for the hermits
Scar is a wizard, he doesn’t really specialize in anything besides his crystals, which is why he’s able to help with a variety of magical issues. He ends up becoming the one entrusted with everyone’s secrets and problems, which makes him Stressed, but he enjoys helping his friends.
Both Xisuma and Evil Xisuma are shapeshifters, with the ability to change their appearance, but not their size. X keeps his appearance hidden from the hermits, which of course inspires wild theories ranging from eldritch abomination to biblical angels, but X won’t reveal if any theories are true. The only ones that know are Hypno (explained later) and Scar. Scar found out when Xisuma showed up hurt at his doorstep, without enough energy to keep another form. Scar was sworn to secrecy afterwards, and he deeply enjoys listening to other hermits pester him for answers. X actually just looks startlingly average, to the point that he’s unwilling to reveal himself solely because people expect him to be something a little more intimidating, and especially now with the ridiculous rumours the hermits have started.
EX doesn’t hide his true form (which is identical to X’s), but of course the hermits don’t believe him, thinking that it’s just another disguise, and EX won’t confirm or deny because he thinks it makes them more afraid of him. (It doesn’t) He’ll also frequently try to impersonate hermits to destroy the server from the inside out, but he is a terrible actor (so is X) and rarely gets far in his plans.
Mumbo and Grian are fairies, but they’re originally from different communities (courts? I really don’t know much about fairies) so they don’t know the other is a fairy until Grian’s hermit challenges initiation. They can shrink into a smaller form that has wings, but it takes quite a bit of effort to switch between forms. (also fun fact: if mumbo is a fairy that means hermit challenges is a magically binding contract)
Iskall is just. Completely human. His prosthetic eye is powered by magic, (and maintained by Scar!) but other than that he’s just a dude. However, he has very strange things happen to him all the time because he’s befriended not one, but two fairies, and he hasn’t noticed either one. He finds that he often has abnormally good luck, and his lost objects will mysteriously turn up as soon as he complains to his best friends about it. He asks Scar if he knows anything, but Scar, not wanting to break Mumbo or Grian’s trust, has to play dumb while also helping Iskall with his ‘problem’.
Now this might come as a shock but. Ren is a werewolf. It may not be unique but it is fitting. One full moon near the beginning of season 7, Ren showed up at the village around sunset, and frantically insisted that Scar let him stay the night in an unoccupied house. So Scar let him stay, and the next morning Ren explained his Situation. So now Scar helps Ren be as comfortable as possible on the night of his transformation and the day after they just chill together.
Stress has her potion brewery, and she’s the first one on the list to fall into the category of Not Having Frequent Magical Emergencies; she just goes to the village to hang out because hey why not? It’s cozy, plus Scar helps her brainstorm potion recipes over cookies and hot chocolate. Scar comes to her often needing a potion (usually of the healing variety) because someone Fucked Up.
Tango is also human, but at some point he was cursed, and his vision started to literally turn red until it was all he could see. The curse was halted thanks to Zed and Impulse, but the red eyes still remain. (Though thankfully his vision returned) They aren’t sure what the curse would have done if it wasn’t stopped, and they’d be happy to never find out.
Zed is an elf, and while he does have a little bit of magic, it wasn’t enough to stop whatever was afflicting Tango, so he turned to more demonic methods. When Tango’s sight got really bad, he summoned a demon (Impulse) and offered his soul in exchange for a cure to the curse. Impulse did the best he could, restoring Tango’s vision but leaving the red eyes, and then left with his price. Zed’s health slowly started declining: he had basically no energy or life due to the separation from his soul. So Tango summoned Impulse back and asked for Zed’s soul back, but it couldn’t be returned without reversing the deal, and Zed wasn’t willing to do that. So Tango ‘asked’ Impulse to stay with them for a while so Tango could convince Zed to back out of the deal. It turns out that being near his soul (kept by Impulse) returned Zed’s energy, and Impulse decided he liked these two so they became a trio, and joined hermitcraft soon after.
Quite often 2 members of team ZIT will wake up Scar in the middle of the night because they accidentally did something to the missing member (banished Impulse, sent Tango to the shadow realm, etc.) and they don’t know what to do. Scar has a ZIT protocol. It’s used far too often. They also constantly try to figure out what the more human looking hermits are. They do not often succeed.
At night, Bdubs turns into a sleep paralysis demon looking creature, and he (unwillingly) curses people to sleep for a completely random amount of time. After an Incident with Wels in season 6, (that’s the reason for his ‘nap’) he makes sure to sleep as early as possible every night. He thankfully isn’t affected by this while in the End or Nether.
Alright lads here’s the angsty one. Beef has the midas touch, meaning everything he touches turns to gold. It works much slower on living creatures than on inanimate objects, but it still works on living things so that’s Not Good. He makes sure to wear special enchanted gloves that block his curse while wearing them. At some point he goes to Scar in a panic because he accidentally touched Etho with his bare hands, (Etho handles this surprisingly well) and Scar helps him fix Etho. (It’s minecraft rules. They just cut his arm off and it comes back.) After that they put a curse of binding enchantment on Beef’s gloves.
Cleo is still a zombie, and she sometimes gets Scar to help her with Zombie Problems when Joe isn’t available. The first time she showed up outside Larry with her (severed) arm held in one hand Scar nearly jumped out of his robes, but he’s pretty used to it by now and will just go inside to grab a needle and thread.
Joe certainly is something! Nobody is quite sure, even Scar. All Scar knows is that Joe knows way too much about everything, and yet he keeps asking Scar to help him translate Galactic. (Joe is secretly trying to teach Scar the language because he feels that it’s important for magic users to know, especially ones so versatile like Scar) Joe is some kind of oracle who receives visions of the past, present, and future, which is why he knows so much, and he’s also at least dabbled in almost every kind of magic there is. He’s a bit of a cryptid.
The local mad scientist is Cub, who does all sorts of weird experiments, and makes inventions that combine magic and technology in disturbing yet wonderful ways. He also got cursed by his pyramid, so now he has comically bad luck. It doesn’t usually cause any serious harm, just shenanigans. He of course embraces this and finds it funny as hell.
On top of Doc’s regular strangeness, (creeper hybrid, cyborg, goat whisperer?) he also for some reason attracts a frankly unreasonable amount of kitsunes. Nobody knows why, but he can be seen in the shopping district being trailed by no less than two foxes with varying amounts of tails. It’s really very cute, and the mystery of it infuriates the more investigative hermits. (Cub and team ZIT mostly)
Etho is a demigod, although nobody knows what god he’s descended from. (including Etho) He has the fun ability to grant others’ wishes, but because of his personality he chooses to twist these wishes and turn them into fun little pranks that technically give the person what they want, but not without annoying them first. He also doesn’t reveal this ability to the others, leaving them even more confused whenever he uses it, which isn’t often because it does drain him quite a bit.
False, being the badass she is, is a valkyrie. She towers over most of the hermits, and between her height, wings, and blazing sword she’s quite intimidating. Despite this, she’s still very sweet, and would never seriously hurt her friends on purpose, but enemies are a whole different story.
Hypno at first seems totally human, but he actually comes from a world full of magic, each person having their own individual ability. Hypno’s ability is to absorb/ cancel out magic, which means that no magic can affect him, and he can also choose to stop any magic by touching the target of the magic. This got him exiled from his world, but he found a new family in the hermits. Because he isn’t affected by magic, he can see through Xisuma’s disguise, but he just assumes that he sees the same thing as everyone else. He hangs out with Beef when he needs comfort because he knows Beef can’t accidentally hurt him.
Jevin is,, slime. Not a minecraft slime, he’s just a pile of sentient slime held together by magic. (Necromancy? probably) Hypno likes to mess with him by touching small parts of him and disrupting the magic so a chunk of his arm falls off. Scar then has to fix it, but it’s still funny.
Keralis has the power of hypnotizing people by looking into his eyes. (Nothing but his eyes) He of course uses this power for mischief, although nothing actually bad. Usually uses it to ‘convince’ people to buy a book or seven. He also sometimes does it on accident, in which case he drops them off at Scar’s until they snap out of it. Team ZIT keeps asking him to hypnotize X so he’ll reveal his true form, but Keralis doesn’t want to force him to reveal that, plus he finds their attempts at figuring it out entertaining.
XB is an unfortunately forgetful selkie, and most of his visits to Scar are because he lost his coat in one of his shulker boxes again. On one memorable occasion he arrived in a panic after losing his coat again, and Scar had to spend about 5 minutes trying to suppress his laughter enough to tell XB that it was on him.
TFC doesn’t have magical crises, much to Scar’s relief. He’s just a humble earthbender living in the mines, occasionally coming out to the village to ask Scar for a crystal to help his back pain, or to give the poor man an afternoon of peace. In fact, Scar turns the tables by asking TFC for magical help with terraforming, which he’s glad to offer in exchange for all that Scar does for everyone.
Wels is a bard, which makes his sea shanties even more powerful than they already are. When Hermitgang came out, a hole was blown in the G team base, much to the surprise of everyone inside at that moment. Hels is also a bard, but he prefers rock music over sea shanties. Diabolical was an actual magical duel, and it probably looked sick as hell.
Bonus: Jellie is secretly a powerful eldritch being, and is the only one with magic that can affect Hypno. It’s a good thing she’s interested in getting pets and treats rather than destroying the server, because she probably could. She casually hops between worlds whenever Scar isn’t around, going on delightful little adventures. Scar takes quite a while to figure this out, and loses his shit when he does. When she got struck by lightning, she just turned up totally fine the next day and Scar didn’t question it too much.
I’d like to thank the discord for helping with ideas, ya’ll are so creative and i appreciate you all <3 ( @skywillsometimeswrite @bigbadantianti @justletmeplayminecraft @badtimeswithscar @aceacebaby12345 @litabattoir @icewolfstar @burntmagicc @dicerxll @dioritegang @cut-the-string @anntonka @shadeswift99
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geekgirles · 3 years ago
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Your Heart
Chapter 5 -- Research
Word Count: 12429
READ ON AO3
“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Tucker complained for the umpteenth time. 
After realising the only way to end his regular meetings with Lady Arcana once and for all would be finding information on the portals she could use to help him close them, Danny took a very-Jazz-like decision; to immerse himself in countless moldy, old books in search for answers. 
Only he dragged Tucker and his sister along to put an end to the torture sooner. A decision which, whereas Jazz encouraged wholeheartedly, Tucker was none too pleased with. 
“Oh, quit your whining, Tucker.” Jazz admonished from the floor, a few volumes piled up around her. “Every time you complain, it’s precious time we’re wasting. Maybe I don’t mind being holed up here reading with you, but something tells me you’d much rather be tinkering with your PDA than doing this.”
Annoyed by Jazz’s accurate observation, Tucker, who was lying down on his bed, set the book he was reading down on his lap. “I’m just saying, a quick Internet search would give us many more results in a matter of seconds. If you’re worried about wasting time, then I think spending hours scanning for even the smallest piece of witch-related trivia is ten times more time-consuming.”
But Jazz wasn’t going to relent any time soon. “We already tried things your way, Tucker. Remind me again how much useful information we found online?” When her question was met by silence, she smirked, focusing again on the book she had open on the floor in front of her. “Thought so.”
“Okay, so the first few results were all about conspiratorial nutcases claiming the witches are actually aliens from a faraway galaxy and that what we call ‘magic’ is really superior technology our tiny, human minds can’t understand,” he paused to breathe, “but those were just the first few articles! I’m sure if we keep on looking, we’ll find something useful.”
“Do I really have to remind you that the most useful thing we found was a Satanist group’s website? I don’t know about you, but I’m not exactly looking forward to joining them anytime soon.”
Leaning back against his bed’s headboard, the techno geek crossed his arms, feeling defensive. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”
“Will you two just stop?” Danny finally had enough. He slammed the book he’d been reading shut before setting it down on his desk, where his own pile of books lay. Leaning back on his chair, one leg over his knee, he crossed his arms as he sent a stern look at his sister and best friend; the kind of look a father would give when scolding his misbehaving children. 
Even though they had legitimate reasons to be cranky at each other, a selfish part of him thought the only one who could really act out of line was him. Tucker and Jazz tended to forget what really was on the line. True; if they didn’t find a solution to the random ghost portals soon, that could lead to severe repercussions on both dimensions, and dealing with Lady Arcana was both dangerous and nerve-racking in every sense of the word. 
But the real danger came from within. 
Although Danny had tried to limit their use as much as possible, the Witch Queen’s presence demanded he wore the Ring of Wrath and the Crown of Fire in hopes of forcing the sorceress to think twice before double-crossing them. But the mere use of the two mystical items was far more terrifying than anything the entire witch clan could have thrown at him. 
There was something inherently...evil encased in the ring and crown. Danny was sure of it. Damn, he could feel it with every fiber of his being. Even before donning the all-powerful objects for the first time during his coronation, the moment he held them after stripping them off of Pariah Dark’s form, they were already calling out to him. 
And the most horrifying thing was that he wanted to heed their call. The relics promised infinite power to whoever was in possession of them. When, ironically, the dreaded things took possession of their wearer! After a brief moment of doubt where he almost fell into temptation and gave in, Danny understood wearing the ring and crown meant the total enslavement of his soul. 
Ever since then, he lived in fear of succumbing to temptation and letting their sinister energy consume him. Whenever he had no choice but to wear the Ring of Wrath and the Crown of Fire, Danny found himself fighting an uphill battle against the hypnotising pull of power emanating from them. It was more tempting than using his powers to get back at Dash for all the wedgies. It was more inviting than dating Valerie, regardless of the very real possibility of dying by her hand. It was more dangerous than accepting to work with Vlad, who foolishly coveted the very same torture he endured every time he put those two horrid artefacts on. 
Because it was a literal deal with the devil; power in exchange of his soul. 
And to think he had to endure all that every time he met up with the queen of the two-faced creatures responsible for such evil in the first place, just to convince her against doing anything foolish...It was irony at its finest. 
With gentle spins of his chair, Danny kept looking alternatively at Tucker and Jazz, who were blissfully unaware of his inner musings, as he talked to each of them. First was Tucker. “Tuck, I know you’ve considered books a waste of time ever since we plugged you into the Cramtastic Mark 5 to break Ember’s spell, and I’m sorry for dragging you into this, but Jazz’s brought all these books from the library and we need as much information as possible.”
He then turned to his sister, who was laid facing down on the floor. “Jazz, same thing goes for you. Except the ‘book-hating' part,” he hastily added, “you know as well as I do that if there’s someone who can find anything on the Internet, it's Tucker. Just, give him time.”
His two teammates exchanged glances before giving up with an eye roll. “Whatever,” they said in unison before getting back to reading. 
Danny wasn’t quite finished, though. “There’s also the fact that I’m not even sure we’ll find anything useful in the first place. I mean, what Lady Arcana needs is either an explanation on what’s causing the portals to manifest, or a spell that can counter it. And I highly doubt we’ll find that sort of information in books from the public library.”
“Maybe if they were from Hogwarts…” Tucker snickered at his own joke. When he noticed the twin glare the siblings were sending him, he sobered up. “Sorry.”
Jazz rolled her eyes as she changed her position from lying down to sitting up, cross-legged. “That doesn’t mean we won’t find anything useful, Danny. If anything, just learning more about the witches should be of help when dealing with them, right?”
The halfa sighed. “In theory. But Tucker’s right; we’ve been reading for hours and we haven’t found anything useful, or even that we didn’t already know of.”
“Thank you!” Tucker deadpanned as he clapped his hands sarcastically.
Danny ignored him in favour of continuing. “I mean, what’s to learn about them? Their background is completely irrelevant to the issue at hand. Knowing of the Salem trials isn’t going to help me prevent disaster from happening!”
“And don’t forget we don’t even know how to tell true facts apart from naysay.”  Tucker pointed out, a finger raised in the air as if that’d give more credibility to his point.
But Jazz insisted. “All the more reason to find out more about them! For instance, Danny, what did you know about witches before meeting this Lady Arcana?”
Her brother gave a noncommittal shrug. “Only what Frostbite told me and what I read in the pages I found from Sojourn’s missing journalーand no, I’m not going to let you read them, Jazz; it’s too dangerous. Besides, I don’t even have them anymore,” he was quick to add, recognising the inquisitive look on his sister’s face all too well.
Annoyed at how well her brother knew her, and at Tucker’s ill-concealed snickers, the aspiring psychologist turned her head away in a huff. “Fine, keep your sister away from fascinating topics. It’s not like I’ve been keeping your secret for years; even from you.” She punctuated with a meaningful look.
If the look on Danny’s face was any indication, they’d had that same conversation too many times before. “Jazz, careful; you know emotionally blackmailing me will get you nowhere. It’ll make me want to keep more things away from you.”
The redhead stood up and got closer to him. With her arms crossed, she used her brother’s seated position to tower over him for once, since she had long lost the ability to look over his shoulder once Danny finally hit his growth spurt. “And you know trying to play hero and keep me away is going to solve nothing. If anything, it’s only going to make me want to help you even more.”
Watching the siblings from the comfortable distance his bed provided him, Tucker knew things would only get nasty if he let the tension escalate from there. He let out a wolf whistle, effectively capturing the Fenton kids' attention. “Wow. You know you two spend too much time together when you start using the other’s methods to get what you want.”
Danny and Jazz furrowed their brow in confusion. “What do you mean?” They asked in unison. 
Changing his position so his back was resting against his wall rather than his bed, which also allowed him to easily look them both in the eye, their friend just shrugged nonchalantly. He wasn’t going to say anything else; their attention was no longer directed at each other and that was enough. “Nothing. Hey, how about a break?”
“A break?” Danny echoed, incredulous. “Didn’t we just argue about wasting time? Tuck, we can’t take a break now!”
Seeing where Tucker was getting at, and that he had a very good point, Jazz sighed. Turning to Danny, she put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “Tucker is right. We’ve been at it for a few hours now. We’d better take a breather and continue later, when our minds are sharper.”
Danny was about to protest when he noticed their matching expressions. They were both tired after doing nothing but searching for clues for hours and bickering with each other. If anyone deserved a break, it was them. And as his own exhaustion finally kicked in, he realised, so did he. 
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s stop for a while.”
Satisfied, Jazz gave her little brother some space as she flopped down on his bed. “So, Tuck.” When his head snapped at the sound of her voice calling his name, she continued. “How’s your latest lady friend doing?”
It took the African American young man a moment to understand who she was talking about. “You mean Camille?”
“If that’s her name, then yes.”
“Oh, we don’t hang out anymore.”
“What?” Jazz gasped. “Why?”
Tucker looked at her uneasily. Danny, on his part, remained quiet, just listening to their conversation. “Uh, no offence, Jazz but...I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with my best friend’s sister; close as we may be.”
That made her frown. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s just...there’s things you don’t talk about with just anyone. And what happens between you and the people you choose to fool around with is one of them. I mean, how would you feel if my mum tried meddling into your love life?”
She just made a derisive sound at the back of her throat. “Excuse me? That is completely different!”
“It is not!”
“Oh, really?” Jazz put her hands on her hips, an eyebrow raised. “Please. Tucker, I’m Danny’s older sister, not our mother! Moreso, I’m the eldest by two years,” she put two fingers up to stress her point, “it’s not like I babysat you or cleaned your diapers. It can’t be that embarrassing!”
Refusing to say any more, Tucker just fell backwards on his bed, arms crossed. From his chair, Danny could only roll his eyes good-naturedly at their banter. 
After a beat of silence, Jazz tried again. “Was it your issues with commitment? Did she want more but you got scared?”
Exasperated, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then, he turned to his best friend. “You can intervene whenever you like, you know?”
Danny just leaned back on his chair, his arms folded behind his head and an easy grin on his face. “Nah, I’m good.”
Abruptly getting up from his bed, unamused, Tucker walked over to his desk and turned his computer on. His back turned to the Fenton siblings, he started fidgeting with a program he’d just opened. He had no idea what to do with it, but he figured it’d be better than Jazz butting in on his love life. 
“So...is that it?” she ventured hopefully. 
Groaning loudly, he rubbed his eyes before fully facing the current thorn in his side. “Has it ever crossed your mind that the reason why I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with you is because you’re going to try and psychoanalyse me?” Seeing as there was no reply, Tucker took it as a sign that she’d finally let it go, so he turned to face the screen. 
...only to hear her whisper to Danny. “How much on them having trouble in bed?”
His face burning hot in embarrassment, Tucker slammed his head against the desk, startling the two other people in the room. At least Danny would never betray him, would he? No, he wouldn’t. It totally went against, like, fifty rules in the Bro Code. 
Unfortunately, Danny was having far too much fun seeing Tucker squirm under Jazz’s scrutinising, psychological curiosity. “Well, from what I’ve heard…”
Oh, no! No way in Hell was that traitor selling him out like that! If Danny wanted war, he’d give him war, Bro Code be damned! Getting up with startling speed, Tucker yelled loud enough to drown Danny’s voice out. “Danny’s met a girl!”
Both siblings blinked slowly at him before simultaneously screeching, “What!?” Although it was impossible to tell which of the two was more bewildered by the revelation.
In an instant, Jazz was on her brother like a vulpture on an animal carcass. “Danny, is that true? You have a girlfriend?” Suddenly, she looked much more offended than dumbfounded. “And you didn’t tell me?!”
“No!” he quickly denied, before all but flying from his chair and going over to his so-called best friend to smack him on the arm. Hard. “Tucker, what the fuck?!”
“Language!” Jazz admonished. 
“Where did you get the idea that I got a girlfriend? What, you’ve listened to me talking about how I fear for my life whenever I’m in the same room as the short-tempered, curse-inducing, infuriating Queen of the Witches of Amity Park and you obviously thought, Oh, man. That’s true love right there and then?!”
“Well, that definitely didn’t stop you from crushing on Valerie back in high school…” Jazz pointed out meekly. 
Seeing Danny’s eyes glow green for a fraction of a second was enough to make Tucker sweat bullets. “Jazz, you’re not helping!” He squeaked. “And, dude, you’re freaking me out a little with the way you’re burning holes in my skull. At this point, I really wouldn’t put it past you to have suddenly developed heat-vision or something…”
Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Danny finally got out of his best friend’s personal space. He was still pissed, though. “Talk.”
Straightening his clothes, Tucker rolled his eyes. “My, aren’t you sensitive today.”
“Well, duh! You just said I have a girlfriend! Could you be so kind as to tell me who so I don’t forget our anniversary or, I don’t know, her face!?”
The techno geek made a ‘pfft’ sound with his mouth, shrugging the notion off with a motion of his hand. “I never said you had a girlfriend. My exact words were ‘Danny’s met a girl.’ If you two are too obsessed with your love life to pay close attention to what other people say, that’s not my problem.”
“Okay, so who’s this girl?” Jazz asked, still curious.
“Yes, please, enlighten us, oh, King Tuck.” Danny quipped sarcastically. 
Tucker frowned, not appreciating the quip at his past mistake, but he spoke nonetheless. “Dude, it 's Sam.”
There was a beat of silence where brother and sister just stared at him before Danny whispered, shell-shocked, “Sam?”
Jazz, on her part, was both shocked and confused. “Wait, who’s Sam?”
He would’ve smacked him right then and there if it weren’t for his best friend having ghost powers he could blast him with. “Well, duh! Dude, have you or have you not met a girl named Sam recently? Because, I’m warning you, if you thought she was a guy, I’m telling on you. I don’t care if she beats your ass; you’d deserve it.”
“Ooh! A girl capable of kicking my baby brother's butt? Now I gotta know who she is! Also, Tucker, language.” The aqua-eyed girl half-heartedly scolded him, before her expression turned into a pensive one as she redirected her gaze to Danny “...are you sure you don’t have a type, though?”
“Sam and Valerie are nothing alike!” Danny exclaimed, throwing his arms up at his sides. Then he turned to Tucker, his hands now curled into fists out of sheer annoyance. “And of course I know she’s a girl. I just don’t understand how on Earth you’d come to the conclusion that I’m into her or something.”
Not for the first time, Tucker rolled his eyes before getting up from his chair and draping his arm around Danny’s shoulders. “And, again, I never said you were. I just said you’d met a girl…” Danny didn’t like that mischievous glint in his eyes one bit. “It just so happens I know you two enough to know you’d immediately assume I was talking about a lady friend, which would then make you forget all about moi.” Tucker explained with a cheeky grin. “And, lo and behold, it worked!”
Danny narrowed his eyes on him. He hated it when Tucker used their everlasting friendship to play him like a violin. Jazz, on the other hand, hated having her queries ignored. Taking a deep breath, she raised her voice to deafening levels. “Hello? Can anyone tell me who this ‘Sam’ is?”
“Agh!” Both halfa and techno geek exclaimed, taken aback. Nursing his ear, the youngest Fenton glared at his sister. “You're louder than my Ghostly Wail, you know that?”
“I can attest to that.” Tucker muttered, equally annoyed. 
Both sighed in defeat when Jazz limited herself to arching an eyebrow at them with her hands, curled into fists at her sides, stubborn as ever to get her answers. “Jazz, it’s no big deal. Sam is just a friend of Tucker’s who knows an awful lot about the occult and such. He thinks she might be able to help me with you-know-who.” He explained as he sat down on his bed next to her, Tucker following suit.
“Wait, Tucker is friends with a girl that’s not me?”
The aforementioned boy took offence at that. “Is it really that weird to see me hanging out with a girl because we’re friends and nothing more?”
The Fenton kids just stared at him blankly. “Dude, you literally hit on anything with a skirt. Remember the drag queen?”
The techno geek spluttered at that, while Jazz couldn’t help but chortle. “Dude, you promised to never bring that up again!”
Danny only chuckled at his best friend’s flushed face. “I don’t think you’re in any position to complain, Tuck. After all, you did break that poor queen’s heart...”
“Why, you!” Face burning hot in embarrassment, Tucker threw himself at Danny, ready to strangle him, ability to blast him to smithereens be damned! His own body reacting instinctively, Danny lay down on his back as he grabbed his best friend’s wrists. The two would’ve started roughhousing hadn’t it been for Jazz getting caught in between. 
“Hey! Stop it you two!” With a superhuman strength that could only be attributed to an older sibling separating her little brothers, Jazz shoved Tucker off of Danny, while she kept the latter down with a hand on his chest. A few minutes passed before the two calmed down. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she turned to Tucker, trying to keep the original conversation going. “So this Sam could be of help?”
Willing his own breath to steady, Tucker nodded. “Yeah. Sam’s a Goth, so she’s very interested in all that. In fact, she’s been of help before.”
Danny’s interest perked at that. “What do you mean?”
“Remember when I’d come up with a solution to defeat certain ghosts this past year? Like Medusa, or that giant Hydra, and such? That was all Sam!”
“Now that you mention it, it did take me by surprise that you’d suddenly know what a hydra even is…”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence…” he quipped, before shaking his head to keep himself focused. “Anyway, whenever those ghosts appeared, I’d remember Sam talking about her latest mythology-related acquisition she bought from her favourite bookstore. So I just called her up, used the very convenient ghost in case to ask about its weakness and, ta-da! You’d have your way to beat them!” He exclaimed, proudly puffing up his chest. After a moment, he deflated, another thought in his mind. “The only creature she never told me about are unicorns, though. I don’t know why.”
“Maybe it throws off her entire dark, cynical persona.” Jazz guessed. Becoming Goth was a common coping mechanism for when people lost someone dear. For all she knew, this Sam could’ve lost a loved one and abandoned all things traditionally cute and girly as a way to put up a strong, undaunted façade, constantly exposing herself to the darker side of life in an attempt to grow desensitised to such things. 
“Maybe,” the bespectacled young man shrugged, “but if you ever meet her, don’t go around saying things like that. Somehow, I doubt she’d appreciate having her entire identity picked out and analysed.”
As Tucker and Jazz kept on bantering with each other, Danny’s thoughts were elsewhere. If what Tucker was saying was true and Sam had indeed marked the difference between victory and defeat during those ghost attacks, then it really would be better to have her by his side. 
Despite his years fighting ghosts and what he’d learned from Frostbite, his knowledge was limited to the Ghost Zone, which was why the presence of mythological or legendary ghosts tended to demand more of him than, say, facing off against Technus, or Johnny 13. Magical artefacts and abilities fell under that category, as well.
Aside from the lack of portal-creating and visits to the Ghost Zone, the witches, on the contrary, seemed to be knowledgeable of ghosts. And that put him at a clear disadvantage he couldn’t afford. But if Sam also happened to know about witches, maybe even partake in rituals for the sake of it, then having her near would be for the best. He would only have to make sure to keep a close eye on her in case the witches found out and went after her in retaliation. 
And also, deep down, he was sort of looking forward to meeting her again. 
...............
The seemingly never ending corridors were doing nothing to alleviate her already suffering nerves. Despite the velvet-carpeted floor that would other times muffle her heavy steps, she now felt as if every step she took resonated throughout the manor like the screeching tiles of a wooden floor. From the rich, maroon walls were hanging the portraits of every astounding witch their clan had ever witnessed; from queens and Council members, to especially adept sorceresses or even heroines who had saved their sisters one way or another. All those women she usually looked up to for guidance in difficult times now seemed to be silently judging her with their cold, unforgiving eyes. 
She walked in complete silence, afraid to disturb the peace if she were to utter a word. After discovering the grimoire she used to travel to the Ghost Zone wouldn’t be of any help in her mission, Sam was blindly following the beginning of a hunch; the spark of an idea whose outcome she still knew nothing of. But, even if she wasn’t sure what she was looking for, it was all she had. 
Sam had no choice but to follow that inkling. 
Hurriedly trying to keep up with her, Star and Paulina were close behind. Once again, their position within their Queen’s inner circle allowed them to understand Sam’s thought process better than most. Only they knew the true reason behind the Queen’s unprompted visit to their clan’s archives. 
“Your Majesty, what do you expect to find inside thー?” Before Star could so much as finish her question, Sam interrupted her.
“Indeed, Star. I would appreciate a warm bubble bath with deadly nightshade leaves.” The queen said, not even stopping to look back at her ladies-in-waiting.
To any other person, that cryptic message would have meant nothing but the typical request one would expect a queen to ask her personal maids of. But Paulina and Star knew better. Asking for deadly nightshade was Sam’s way of telling them to keep whatever she was up to a secret. By asking Star for a deadly nightshade bubble bath, she was instructing them that absolutely no one should find out about the true reason behind her visit to the archives. 
Exchanging knowing glances with Paulina, the blonde lowered her head slightly, fully aware that her Queen was watching her from the corner of her eye. “Yes, your Majesty.”
And with that everything that had to be said was shared between them. 
Time was of the essence.
Aside from the evident danger she faced every time she travelled to the Infinite Realms, there was the added possibility of being spotted by humans, regardless of how far away from civilization their meeting spot was. If anyone ever took notice of the three mysterious figures fraternising with ghosts, Amity Park’s greatest known threat, questions would soon arise. 
And whenever humans had questions, they turned to the so-called experts on the matter for help. While Sam wasn’t sure those incompetent Guys In White even suspected their existence, she still wouldn’t put it past them to investigate for the sake of burning tax money in some new toys. Those greedy, government puppets… Worst of all, if they took a genuine interest in her kind, they might as well be done for, and not necessarily because the GIW were good at their job…
If word got out that witches were real and living among them, the citizens could get scared. And whenever humans got scared, especially if it was of things they couldn’t quite explain or understand, that fear turned into aggression. If they kept wasting any more time, one day she’d open her door to find herself face to face with an angry mob. 
And to think it’d all be because of a group of incompentent ghost hunters who couldn’t even drive away the very same treacherous creatures responsible for her people’s need for secrecy in the first place...it was irony at its finest. 
However, despite the spike of anxiety in her chest, Sam couldn’t help but go back to her last visit to the Ghost Zone. Phantom’s attempts at dissipating the tension had been, as much as she hated to admit it, a welcomed thing. And yet, it was a little unnerving to learn the Ghost King shared her views on formality and the power of intimacy, because it made him look more human than she would ever be comfortable with. 
In all fairness, it was difficult to imagine Phantom talking like anything but his usual, cocky self in the first place. From what little exchanges the news broadcasts had been able to catch on camera during the years, the white-haired spirit tended to get overly familiar with his opponents, getting under their skin with puns or witty comebacks thrown at their expense. Still, as unusual as it was, Sam couldn’t help but feel that, perhaps, it would’ve been better to keep on using their respective honorifics. Because Phantom addressing her like he would any other misbehaving ghost, like she’d seen him do dozens of times over the years, somehow made it all the more...real. She truly was talking to the infamous Ghost King on her own volition. 
That thought alone scared her more than she’d ever be willing to admit. 
Before Sam could dwell on the matter any longer, a grating, shrill voice snapped her out of her thoughts. A voice she knew all too well and would do just about anything to never hear again unless it was absolutely necessary. 
“Sammy-kins!”
Stopping in her tracks, eye twitching in annoyance, the lavender-eyed girl forced a smile to materialise on her face as she slowly turned around to face the mother of all monsters. Her own. “Hello, Mother.” She forced out.
Pamela Manson was an average witch; the only thing stellar about her was her ability to distract humans with her lavish parties and over-the-top socialite persona. A woman obsessed with social status and appearances, Sam’s mother constantly got on her case due to her own disregard for the very things Pamela lived for. 
Mother and daughter were opposites in almost every aspect. 
Whereas Sam prided herself in her individuality and ability to go unnoticed unless she truly wished to make her presence known, Pamela was obsessed with blending in a way that would always draw all eyes to her.
Sam believed in standing up for a change, without fear of taking big steps as long as they led her to a better world. Pamela considered things to be fine as they were, and that the only changes that should be implemented were small, insignificant ones; such as her daughter’s fashion sense.
While Sam was a rather cynical individual who still cared about everyone deep down, her mother was preppy and optimistic, but her aspirations were limited to what could benefit her and her family.
But what truly set them apart was Sam’s insistence on being inconspicuous to the human eye; her coven’s anonymity her top priority. As opposed to Pamela who, had she been queen, would’ve accidentally exposed their secrets in her first week after being crowned; tops. 
In all fairness, it wasn’t that Pamela didn’t care for their clan; it was just that she couldn’t resist flaunting what, she believed, made her better than everyone else. 
And, right now, she believed her daughter’s manners could be much better. “What’s with the cold greeting, Sammy-kins? We haven’t seen much of each other in over a week and that’s how you treat me?”
On second thought, Sam much preferred her chances against an angry mob over spending five minutes in the same room as her mother. “Sorry, Mother, but you caught me in the middle of something important and…”
“What could possibly be more important than what I’m about to tell you?” Pamela questioned, her hands on her hips. 
“Perhaps finding a way to save two dimensions or, at the very least, our people, but you’re right, Mum, what was it that you wanted to tell me?”, was what the raven-haired witch wished she could’ve said, but instead she opted for, “And what is it that you have to tell me?”
Instead of answering her daughter, however, Pamela directed an expectant look at her two ladies-in-waiting who, upon noticing her steely glare on them, immediately straightened up before lowering their heads in submission. “Greetings, your Ladyship.” Paulina and Star droned, their heads low.
Although Pamela was never queen herself, as mother of the current leader of the clan she was to be regarded with respect. A fact the woman would constantly revel in and fully take advantage of. Smiling in contentment, she sighed. “Ah, much better. Now, Sammy-kins, I was thinking we could take some time away from your schedule to have a little chat on your wardrobe choices?”
Ugh, not that again. Ignoring her mother’s offended gasp, Sam turned on her heel to make her way, once again, to her original destination. Star and Paulina hurrying up to leave ‘her Ladyship’ behind and keep up with their queen after flashing her mother a pair of matching sheepish smiles
Unfortunately, the one thing Sam seemed to have inherited from her mother was her stubbornness. Quickening her own pace, the clicking of her high heels behind her haunting Sam even in her dreams, Pamela caught up with them in a surprisingly short amount of time. Having no choice but to breathlessly talk to her daughter at the same time as she tried keeping up with her would not be enough to get her to give up on her pursuit. 
“Seeing as we have much more important matters to discuss, I shall gracefully ignore your previous insolence.” Luckily for Sam, her mother missed the way she rolled her eyes at her. “I know this...Gore style of yoursー.”
“It’s ‘Goth’, Mother…” Sam corrected her, but her efforts fell on deaf ears. 
“ーis just your way of rebelling against the world because things don’t go your way, but don’t you think enough is enough? You’ve been dressing like a mortician since you were twelve!”
“If you’re done patronising me and the way I choose to present myself to the worldーwhich, not only have you insulted in every possible way but, allow me to remind you, is not just a phaseー, I really do have more important matters to attend to.” 
And with that, she sped up past her mother. It should’ve been the end of that conversation, but Pamela always had to have the last word. “But what about the clan? Don’t you think it’s selfish to compromise us like that?”
That stopped the Witch Queen dead in her tracks, the unexpected stop causing Paulina and Star to tumble back a few steps. Once they registered what Pamela had said, their blood ran cold; the stiffness in Sam’s posture only confirmed their unspoken fears:
Sam’s mother had just crossed a line. 
Fists clenched so tightly at her sides she could’ve drawn blood, her teeth gritting in aggravation, Sam hissed, not even turning around to face her mother. “What did you just say?”
Brushing her daughter’s anger off as just another tantrum, Pamela calmly walked over to where she stood, looking over her handmaidens’ shoulders. Resting a palm on Sam’s shoulder, a hand that, although meant as comforting, came out as condescending, mocking; the older witch spoke up. “I’m just saying, you’re always advocating for our anonymity, yet you seem to ignore that people will immediately associate your obvious, stereotypically witchy outfits with real-life witchcraft. All that black and those dark colours, the ripped fabric, the metal ornaments… Sammy, don’t you see? That’s like wearing a sign saying ‘I’m a witch! Come and lynch me!’”
Taking advantage of her turned face, Sam narrowed her eyes on her mother. She dressed like a WASP housewife from the 50’s when she was a Jewish woman living in the 21st centuryーshe was in absolutely no position to criticise her looks! 
How dare she? How dare she?! Using her duty to protect her people against her just to get her to wear some frilly abomination because she couldn’t fathom the idea that her daughter would want to be her own person?
It was moments like these that Sam missed Grandma Ida the most. Her grandma would’ve guided her in her darkest hours, giving her useful advice to approach the situation, but never making decisions for her, letting her live and learn instead! Grandma Ida would’ve never tried to use her to push some personal agenda on the clan. 
But Grandma Ida was gone, and Pamela was there to stay.
As insulted and, although she’d never let it show, hurt as Sam was, going to the archives took priority. Stowing her conversation with her mother for another time as she resumed her march down the hallsーpreferably when she’d be alone in her roomーSam shrugged her off the best way she knew; through biting sarcasm. “Oh, please. If I were nearly as ‘obvious’ or ‘stereotypically witchy’ as you say, Mother, I’d decorate this place after the Sedlec Ossuary.”
Pamela furrowed her brow in confusion as she, too, resumed her walk. “What does that even mean?” 
“She’s talking about a Czech chapel fully decorated with bones and skulls.” Star helpfully supplied. 
Paulina, on the contrary, shuddered in disgust. “Ugh, I’d rather not. I’d feel like I’m always being watched…”
Star tilted her head to the side. “How? Skulls don’t have eyes.”
Ignoring the handmaidens, Pamela opened up her mouth to speak when a raised hand from her daughter, who had abruptly halted, stopped her from even getting a word in. “As lovely as catching up with you has been, Mother,” Sam started, voice laced with sarcasm, “I’m afraid I must go. I have important matters to attend to, as I already told you, that I must take care of, in private.” She stressed before turning the doorknob of the large door before her and walking inside, swiftly letting her bewildered mother out after she all but slammed the door shut in her face. 
Leaning  her back against the door, Sam let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. No matter how much time passed, her mother would always be a she-demon worse than any ghost. God forbid Phantom ever met her; if he were to take a page out of her book, Sam would personally burn herself at the stake.
“Is Pamela too much for you?” A sultry voice coaxed her out of her thoughts.
Opening up her eyes, Sam could feel the relieved smile forming on her face at the sight of the witch she most wanted to see at the moment. “Delilah.” She breathed out as she separated herself from the door, walking over to her friend to grab her hands in hers. “You have no idea.” Sighing dramatically, she let her head fall on the crook of the shapeshifter’s shoulder, eliciting a chuckle from her. 
“Oh, I don’t need to.” She said, gently patting her queen’s head. “Just by looking at you I can tell; you look like you’ve suddenly lost ten years of your life!”
“Make that twenty,” Sam grumbled. 
Separating herself from her leader, their hands still holding each other, the turquoise-eyed sorceress got to the point. “Well, what brings you here? As much as I love your visits, I thought you’d be busy with your little escapes to the Ghost Zone?”
Sam averted her gaze, the wooden floor suddenly much more interesting than a few seconds ago. “It’s precisely because of that that I’m here.”
“Oh?” Delilah tilted her head, slightly. “Okay...So, what are you here for, then?”
To her bewilderment, her queen’s eyes continuously darted from one place to another, as if expecting to be ambushed any minute now. “Are we alone?”
An odd question, but not necessarily a bad one. Putting her fingers on her chin in thought, the Council member tried to remember if she’d seen anyone that day. “Hm, I think Stephanie might be somewhere around here, engrossed in a book. But you know her, it’d be easier to get me to leave the archives than not seeing that girl with her nose deep in a book.”
Stephanie was probably with them. That was not a bad thing. Stephanie ought to find out sooner or later. Wringing her hands nervously, Sam willed her eyes to look at Delilah’s own curious turquoise ones. “I need your help with something.”
That caught her attention. “My help?” Sam nodded. “My, Sam, you’re starting to worry me.” Delilah admitted as she got closer to the Goth, her hand hovering over her shoulder but never close enough to actually rest atop of it, afraid that the sudden contact would startle her. It was unusual to see her so suspicious of everything around her. Maybe… “Did the ghosts do anything? Are we going to war?”
That seemed to snap the younger witch out of whatever she was going through. She didn’t lower her guard, though. “No, no. We’re not going to war.” She shook her head as she let Delilah gently guide her to another section of the archives. “But in order to avoid just that I might need to do something crazy…”
Delilah wrinkled her nose at that. “Something crazy? You’re not going to marry that Ghost Punk, are you?”
Startled, Sam jerked away from her touch, shuddering in discomfort. Where would she get such a ridiculous idea? She and Danny Phantom? She almost wanted to laugh. Instead, she let out a derisive sound from the back of her throat. “Don’t even joke about that.”
“So, what is it then? I’m sorry, Sam, but you’re not making any sense right now.” The shapeshifter insisted. “If we’re not going to war, and you’re not going to marry the Ghost King, what do you need me for?” Taking a few steps, she got closer to the young monarch, their faces mere inches apart as she tried looking for answers in her amethyst orbs. “What could be so serious that you’re so unnerved, Sam?”
Delilah’s intense gaze made her squirm, but she had a point. She couldn’t expect her to help her, no questions asked. For instance, she wasn’t just the best shapeshifter of the clan, she was also a Council member, and the archives guardian. She was the one tasked with keeping their people’s most precious treasure, their history and knowledge, safe. And considering what she was gonna ask of her, Delilah was in her right to know exactly what was going through her head. 
Steeling herself for what was to come, Sam straightened her spine, returning the intensity of the older witch’s gaze in earnest. “I need you to grant me access to a certain type of book.”
Delilah’s posture relaxed. “Is that it? Why didn’t you say so sooner? Sure, just tell me what you’re looking for and I’ll let you take a lookー.”
“I mean,” Sam cut her off, “I need you to grant me permission to take the book with me, outside of the manor...and into the Ghost Zone.” Her voice wavered when she muttered the last part. 
“Oh...I see...” The guardian’s expression immediately sobered up. She cleared her throat, awkwardly. “And, what type of book are you looking for?”
Now things were going to get really ugly. “I need a spellbook detailing everything we know about the Ghost Zone, specifically, its portals.”
For a while, Delilah just stared at her, almost unblinkingly. The good news was she didn’t appear angry or outraged as Sam had predicted, the bad news, however, was that her empty, unreadable expression was much worse. At least she’d have known what she was thinking had she been yelling at her for her idiocy; questioning her mental health. But as it was, Sam was almost as lost as her.
After what felt like an eternity, Delilah finally found her voice. “So you…” she quieted down, trying to find the words. “You want to take one of our most sacred texts to the Ghost Zone?”
Sam winced. Somehow, it sounded way worse when she said it like that. “I know it’s asking for too much…”
“Saying that’s an understatement wouldn’t even begin to cover it.” The Council member scoffed. “Seriously, Margaret would have a cow! And don’t get me started on Wilhelmina…”
“I know!” Sam was quick to reassure her. She was perfectly aware what she was asking of her might be a little excessive, but she wasn’t completely delusional! She knew just what kind of reaction their fellow Council members would have... “I know, but...the only way to ensure our people’s safety is helping Phantom. And he needs help closing numerous unstable portals that are suddenly opening. I thought the book I’d been using to get to the Infinite Realms would have the answers, but its contents were thoroughly underwhelming.”
Just like she did in Phantom’s lair, Sam got the spellbook out of her skirt before handing it to the guardian. In turn, she inspected its pages, concluding that, indeed, the book hadn’t much to offer. “Please, Delilah, you know I would never ask this of you if I didn’t think it’s our only hope.”
Sam wasn’t one to plead. The young Council member knew this better than anyone. She was headstrong and determined; the entire clan knew there wasn’t much that could be done to dissuade her once her mind was made up. Margaret herself found it to be both a blessing and a curse, while Wilhelmina thought it was a curse. Period. And Delilah...
Delilah prayed to all things above her that she wasn’t about to make a mistake. Sighing in defeat, she flashed Sam a small grin, earning herself a triumphant smile in return. Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, she motioned for her queen to follow her with a slight jerk of her index finger. “Come with me, your Majesty. I know just the thing.”
Sighing in relief, Sam allowed her eyes to wander around the manor’s archives. She really couldn’t blame Stephanie for loving the place to the point of practically making it her second homeーthe sight was breathtaking. 
The circular room, surrounded by large panel windows, located right below the Council Room, which put it in the three-story manor’s second story, was one of the best examples of a Pocket Dimension Spell put to good use. Countless shelves filled to the brim with colourful, leather-bound books went on as far as reached the eye; hanging proudly from the ceiling, the arrow-shaped banners with her clan’s signature colour and emblemーa black rose over a royal purple backgroundーadorned the room; leaning against the shelves, golden ladders could be seen moving on their own accord; which was almost as impressive as the floating books that flew from one place to another by flapping their two covers like an eagle would flap its wings. 
Walking through the numerous aisles, letting herself be, one again, amazed by the sight, Sam caught a familiar figure from the corner of her eye. Turning her head to the source, she found Stephanie Baker, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back against a shelf’s lateral plank, an incredibly dense book perched on her lap. 
Sensing someone’s eyes on her, no doubt, Stephanie lifted her head up and away from her book, before a grin was plastered on her face at the sight of her queen. Her enthusiastic wave was answered by Sam’s much more subdued one, alongside a small chuckle. “She’ll never change; she’s at her happiest when surrounded by books,” Sam mused to herself. 
She and Delilah kept walking in silence, but with each step she took, the Goth couldn’t help but furrow her brow, anxiously. They were getting further and further away from the archives’ hot spot, the zone with the most activity disappearing in the distance until she almost couldn’t make it out anymore. Just where was she taking her?
Her question was answered when her guide halted abruptly in front of the wall. An empty space that, unlike the other walls encasing the archives, wasn’t even decorated by a portrait of one of the previous guardians. Not sure what to expect, Sam tilted her head to the side, speechless. “Uh...Delilah?”
But Delilah didn’t answer. Instead, she turned her back on her and extended her hands, palms open, in front of her. “Clavis mysteria!”, she chanted, her carefully coiffed onyx braid dancing around her, as if swayed by a sudden strong breeze. From her palms emanated a green fog that, as Sam could only look on in awe, speechless for an entirely different reason; seemed to open the wall in half, the resulting, uneven, wooden dents making way for it. 
An eternity or a few minutes could’ve passed, and Sam would be willing to believe anything she was told, when the green fog manifested again, carrying a rather large object with it. When the Witch Queen realised what it was, she could only gasp in astonishment.
Levitating before them was a royal blue, leather-bound book. Intricate designs were scattered throughout its back cover, engraved in gold. Two such designs, a pair of golden, twin swirls, flanked an equally golden fleur de lis on its spine. But the most amazing thing, what truly showed the book’s importance, were the golden letters, glinting under the light, on its cover: 
Arcana’s Grimoire
Mouth hanging open, the young witch could only gape at her friend, completely blown away by the revelation, as the grimoire landed safely on her hands. With a small chuckle, Delilah pushed some loose, black locks obscuring the right side of her face aside. “Sorry. No matter how tightly I tie my braid, spellcasting always messes my hair up.”
Her throat suddenly very dry, Sam swallowed before managing to speak, a finger pointing at the manuscript. “Is...is that…?”
With a knowing smile, Delilah nodded. “Arcana's Grimoire. If you want to find answers on what’s causing those ghost portals to open at random, this baby is your best bet.” Stretching her arms towards the queen, she handed the book to her, who held it with as much care as one held a newborn for the first time, almost reverently. “The grimoire holds the answers to all those questions time made sure to erase.”
“I-I…you...t-the book...” Sam stuttered, not sure what to say. “A-are you sure you want to entrust the g-grimoire, Arcana’s Grimoire, to me?”
“It’s risky, I know. But you said it yourself, you wouldn’t ask me to grant you permission to take a spellbook out of the manor if you weren’t convinced it’s our only hope.” Those few loose strands falling on her face, a stark contrast to her dark mane, she lay a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder, a soft smile on her face. “And I wouldn’t hand the grimoire to you if I didn’t think it’d be safe with you.”
Eyes widening at the Council member’s words, Sam couldn’t do anything but send her a grateful smile in return. Clutching the grimoire close to her chest, she promised, “I’ll guard it with my life.”
Internally, she made another promise, only this time, it was much more violent than solemn. “And I swear, if Phantom so much as looks at it wrong, I’ll ask Danny to lend me some of his parents’ weapons and hunt him down myself.”
................
“You’re lucky this place sells some of the best pastrami sandwiches I’ve ever had, dude. Otherwise, you’d be on your own.” Tucker said in between bites of his heavenly pastrami with honey mustard sandwich. Wiping some sauce from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, earning himself disgusted looks from the two other people present, he wagged a finger at his best friend. “Seriously, though. Who would’ve thought Sam would have good taste in restaurants?”
He winced when the Goth in question elbowed him on his side. “I have excellent taste in food in general, thank you very much. It’s not my fault only 9% of the global population can appreciate it.”
Once again, they were meeting up at the You Mocha Me Crazy, which, at this rate, was going to become their new favourite hanging spot. Unless Sam was willing to forego her vegetarian ways and ask for a Double Meaty Nasty Burger with extra bacon with them. Somehow, that seemed unlikely. Luckily, during their first visit Sam had introduced Tucker to their selection of sandwiches and cold cuts, making it easier for the techno geek to warm up to the café. 
After that successful first meeting, the trio decided to hang out whenever Danny needed Sam's help to write his ‘paper.’ All they had to do was ring or text Sam, and she���d tell them when she was free to meet.
Today was one of those days she was free and the guys were in need of her help. The three were lounging around a small coffee table Sam named ‘her spot’, for it was where she usually had her coffee or worked on her assignments in peace. The fact that she was good friends with one of the baristas also helped keep the space free of any ‘spot-stealing-squads,’ as she lovingly referred to ‘those vultures.’
Nursing his aching side, Tucker rolled his eyes. He’d already lost count on how many times they’d had that same conversation. “Is there anyone free from your vegan wrath?”
“For the last time, I’m ultra-recyclo-vegetarian, not vegan.”
“What’s the difference?” Danny intervened, an eyebrow raised in confusion. 
“Vegans tend to waste almost as much food as non-vegetarians. Ultra-recyclo-vegetarians make the most of every single meal.” Sam explained, forking a piece of tomato from her salad. “That’s where the ‘recyclo’ part comes from.”
“I thought that was freegans.” Tucker frowned, still munching his sandwich. 
“I’m surprised you even know what that is.”
“You and me both.” Danny said, turning to look at Tucker with a curious expression on his face. 
Rolling his eyes, the techno geek shrugged them off. “You meet the craziest people on Tinder.” He explained offhandedly. When he took notice of his two companions’ horrified expressions, he almost doubled over in laughter. Clearing his throat, he turned to Sam. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”
Shaking her head to erase the traumatising image that was Tucker’s love life, Sam started. “What? Uh...oh! Right. Ehem! As a matter of fact, there are people excluded from my ‘ultra-recyclo-vegetarian wrath.’” She corrected. “I’d never force people without enough resources to go vegan. Such as the Inuit community. Besides, those guys barely hunt anything compared to rich jerks with questionable hobbies, and they use everything of what little they do hunt.”
“Handy people.” Danny mused, before returning his attention to his laptop, resting on top of his lap, one leg crossed over his other knee. “Now, I don’t mean to be a buzzkill, but we’re here to help me with my...with my homework, remember?”
If Sam thought the way he seemed to overthink his words was weird, she didn’t let it show. “Yeah, you’re right.” She said as she turned her torso around, reaching for her notes inside her spider backpack. “Okay, you two. Lay it on me; what do you want to know?”
Tucker and Danny exchanged a glance, before the blue-eyed boy ventured. “Well...Sam, you’re the expert. What can you tell us of...um...of the witches.”
Scanning through her notepad’s pages, Sam froze at Danny’s words. Could her people’s secret have been discovered already? Before risking compromising her sisters, she had to test the waters first. “Why are you doing your paper on witches in the first place?” Her voice came out a little colder than she intended. 
Tucker furrowed his brow, taken aback by her sudden guarded posture, while Danny just rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Uh...why not? The seminar I signed up for is on mythological creatures and folklore, and witches are one of the most legendary myths ever...right?”
Alright, that made sense. But she couldn’t be reckless, she had to make sure Danny didn’t pose a threat to her coven. “Yeah, they definitely are. I’m sorry, it’s just...with all the ghosts constantly attacking Amity Park, I thought, ‘why witches?’, you know? I mean, your parents are experts! If you just asked them for a little bit of help, your assignment would immediately turn into an easy A, wouldn’t it?”
Taking a gulp from his espresso, Danny carefully thought what to say next. He couldn’t let Sam think he had some sort of ulterior motive for asking about the mystical group of women; he’d promised Lady Arcana her people’s secret would be safe, after all. So he did the only thing he could; he expertly lied. “Well, I don’t really like having things handed to me, you see. What’s the point in signing up for a seminar if I’m just going to get an easy A thanks to my parents, you know what I mean?”
Tucker had to fight the urge to laugh at the irony of the situation. Oh, what Danny wouldn’t have given just to get easy A’s during high school... When his two friends turned to him, Sam looking at him in confusion and Danny quietly begging him to keep his mouth shut, he played it cool by taking a sip from his drink. 
“Anyway,” Danny continued, “I just thought ghosts would be...I dunno...too mainstream? The assignment is supposed to make me do research on mythological creatures, and nowadays it’s pretty obvious ghosts are anything but mythological.”
“Witches aren’t far behind, either…” Sam internally mused, sipping from her macchiato. Holding the carton cup with both hands, she decided sharing some information with Danny and Tucker would be safe. She’d just tell them the basics, debunk some Hollywood myths...the usual. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Danny echoed, hopefully.
“Okay.” Sam repeated with a smile. “Anything in particular you want to know about?”
“Just...anything you can tell us, really.” Tucker said, leaning forward with his hands between his legs. 
“You’re gonna have to be a tad more specific than that, guys.”
Crossing his arms, the Astrophysics student thought long and hard. What was it that he really wanted to know about them? Well, the answer to that was obvious. His only real question was why? Why did they do what they did? If only he could figure that out, then maybe he’d know how to approach Lady Arcana. But there was no way he could ask that without exposing who he was. And it wasn’t like Sam, of all people, would have the answer anyway. 
So instead he asked, “What’s their origin?”
That startled Sam, who almost choked on her lettuce, Tucker quickly coming to her assistance and patting her back. After massaging her throat and swallowing her food, she looked at Danny with an inquisitive eye. “Come again?” She croaked out.
“What’s their origin?” He repeated. “And...and I don’t mean this as in...as in a history lesson. Like, when did witches first appear or anything. If I wanted to know that, I’d just read a book or watch a National Geographic documentary. I-I mean, how is a witch even born?”
“Do I have to explain the birds and the bees to you guys, too?” She asked with a coy smile, having recovered from her coughing fit. Despite the seriousness of his query, the violet-eyed girl couldn’t help but tease him.
Danny flushed in embarrassment. He had to admit, he’d handed her that one. Shaking his head, he chuckled. “I’m good, thanks. You might need to talk to Tuck, though.” He joked, earning himself an offended gasp from his best friend, who punched him lightly on his arm in protest. “But, nah. I guess a better question would be, what makes a witch...well, a witch?”
Sam had to admit, it was a good question. Even if it may risk her people’s secrets, such depth earned the blue-eyed boy some respect from her. Not many people went beyond the basics when looking for information. Most would be content with reading the first few paragraphs of a Wikipedia article. But Danny… Something about the intensity of his ocean blue eyes made Sam feel he was more similar to his parents than he’d originally thought; despite having no interest in ghosts himself. Somehow, he shared their inquisitive and curious mind, albeit from a less scientific approach. Just by that question alone, she immediately understood Danny Fenton was much smarter than people gave him credit for. 
Exhaling, she began to explain. “Believe it or not, the one who got closer to the truth was Harry Potter.”
“You mean the children’s book with the extra creepy white dude?” The bespectacled young man raised an eyebrow, before exchanging disbelieving glances with his best friend beside him. 
She just chuckled. “Yeah. Witches are human women who were born with the innate ability to do magic, setting them apart from the rest.”
“So...this is witches vs muggles that we’re talking about.” Tucker insisted. 
“Yes, Tucker.” Sam said with a bit more bite than she intended. “Point is, being born different tends to alienate people, and considering we’re talking about magical-powers kind of different…”
“The witches were alienated and persecuted by society.” Danny finished for her. 
“Bingo.” The raven-haired girl picked up some photocopies with different articles printed on them and handed a few copies to both of them. “Although nowadays most people bel-know witches aren’t real,” she caught herself before her subconscious could rat her out, “some cryptology experts theorise they just eventually flocked together to keep whatever magical gene they had inside the coven. You know, as a precaution to avoid further persecution.” To this day, she still couldn’t believe a group of nutjobs would be right on the money. The sole idea was ludicrous, and yet…
“So, that’s it?” Tucker asked, looking up from his own set of photocopies, incredulous. “Witches are just humans who, inexplicably, won the superpower lottery?”
The Goth just smiled sheepishly at him. What could she say, anyway? Though witches weren’t against scientific discoveries or careers (Star herself was studying to become a mathematician), magic sort of was their thing; literally. So nobody had ever really delved on why or how they’re different from other humans.
Scratching his chin in thought, Danny tried reconciling what Sam said to his own encounters with the spellcasters. When he thought about it, Lady Arcana and her witches really weren’t any different from any other citizen of Amity Park; the only surprising thing about them was their Queen’s unique eye colourーher being breathtakingly beautiful didn’t matter since her personality needed an awful lot of workーand their characteristic ability to do magic...and maybe their questionable taste in pets. 
But that was it. 
Other than that they were as human as his own family. Even their hatred of ghosts was in synchrony with the town’s general opinion of him. Perhaps if he treated the Witch Queen as any other girl, things would smoothen between them. It made sense that part of her prickly personality was a result of him consciously treating her differently than he would treat others. Deep down, she knew they were unwelcomed, and therefore, built walls around her to avoid getting hurt. 
“Look at you, worrying over making the Witch Queen feel comfortable around you...You’re a lost cause, Fenton.” Danny resisted the urge to roll his eyes at himself, having more important matters to take care of. “Sam,” he called out to her, startling her and Tucker out of their own conversation, “is there a way you could tell us about their spells or something?”
It was a risky question, he knew. But, as useful as learning to deal with the witches was, what they really needed was a way to put an end to the crisis threatening both dimensions. And the only way to do it was by finding a portal-related spell. 
Eyes widening at his question, Sam could feel her stomach churning ominously. That question was a bit too specific for her liking. Depending on how she handled the situation, she could either masterfully take care of it or put her subjects in danger over a potential misunderstanding. “Their spells? What do you mean?”
Danny pretended to look through his own set of copies, trying to appear nonchalant, as if his question were born from mere curiosity, rather than a sense of impending doom. “Nothing, really. I was just curious. I mean, would witches even cast spells, or would they voluntarily just manifest their powers like ghosts do?” As he spoke, his mind raced back to the floating book Lady Arcana had, without any kind of warning, shoved in his face during her last visit. 
The Goth had to resist the urge to spit in disgust at the notion of being compared to those disembodied remains of human consciousness. She took a subtle breath to ease away her repulsion. “It’s hard to say.” She lied. “Since there’s no clear evidence that true, real-life witches ever existed, ーand I’m sure they don’t, obviouslyー.”
“Obviously.” The two men seated with her echoed.
“ーthere’s no definite hypothesis explaining if they truly casted spells or not. For all we know, their famous rites and ceremonies could just be that; ceremonies belonging to pagan religions that were thought to be witchcraft by Christians.” 
“Any chance we might be able to find any spell on the Internet?” Tucker wondered, readily taking his trusty PDA out of his pocket, causing Danny to sigh tiredly upon noticing the device in his hands. While Tucker used his tablet and computer when doing assignments or playing video games, that was solely because the screens were bigger. He’d actually been in a loving, committed relationship with his PDA since he first got it when he was 14. As time went by and technology evolved, instead of adjusting with the times, he put all his engineering knowledge to use with the sole intention of updating his baby and never having to part ways from her. 
It was both kinda cool and a little disturbing, to be honest.
Leaning back on her chair and crossing her legs at her knee, mirroring Danny’s own stance, Sam propped her face on her hand, a bored expression plastered on her face. “Although I do find your commitment to recycling that old thing of yours instead of falling for the capitalistic trap that is technology consumption commendable,” she said, and Danny was sure his eyes must’ve popped open at seeing her utter that long-ass speech without so much as pausing to breathe, “sometimes I worry about you.”
Offended, Tucker frowned at her, only clutching his PDA tighter in his hands. “I’m mercifully going to choose to ignore everything you just said except for the part when you call me ‘commendable.’ Now, can I look for information on the Internet or not?”
Leaning forward, this time resting her chin on her knuckles at the same time as she propped her elbow on her bent knee, Sam shrugged, not really caring. “You can try, but chances are you’re only going to find Halloween articles from children’s magazines, or weird Satanist websites asking you to offer a sacrifice in exchange for joining them.”
As Tucker flopped back down on his chair with his arms crossed, pouting and grumbling something along the lines of, “Damn it, Jazz…”, Danny tried fishing for more information. “So they don’t really cast spells?”
The discomfort came back. She knew Danny was only trying to be thorough with his assignment, but that didn’t change the fact that his questions hit a little too close to the mark. “The only way to find out for sure would be meeting one in real life.” She said in a voice so low, even with his enhanced senses Danny almost didn’t hear her. 
Noticing the tension suddenly coming off of Sam, her previously laid-back and even playful posture changing to a much more tense one: legs crossed tightly, her shoulders stiff, both hands clutching at the fabric of her shorts…; Tucker decided it’d be best if they let the topic go for a while. And so, he did what he did best:
He abruptly changed the topic. 
“So Sam,” he called out to her, quickly getting both her and Danny’s heads to snap to him, “I don’t think you’ve ever told me.”
“Tell you what?” What was he doing?
“What’s your deal?”
Sam blinked. “My deal?”
The teal-eyed young man just nodded. “Yeah, what’s your type?” He asked as he leaned forward, mindlessly toying with his PDA. “Because in all the time I’ve known you, I’ve not seen you once with a boyfriend, not even a fling.”
“Tucker, you’ve known me for a year.” She reminded him. “Not necessarily as much time as you make it out to be.”
“Hey, a lot can happen in a year!” He defended. 
“Tucker himself has had three different girlfriends in the last three months.” Danny added. 
“See?” Then, he turned to his best friend with an unamused expression on his face. “But, dude, don’t say it like that; you make me sound like a player.”
“I’m just saying,” the black-haired youth put his palms up in surrender, a lazy grin on his face, “it’s not bad for a guy who was rejected by every single girl back in high school.” 
Tucker just glowered at him, before turning his attention back to Sam. “So...back to the question; what’s your type of guy?”
She could not believe this was happening. Back when she was a teenager, a tinsy bitsy part of her she tried very hard to suppress secretly longed for talking about girl stuff with the other girls her age from her clan. Something as silly as talking boys, makeup, or any other teenaged-girl nonsense with other people would’ve made her lonely childhood all the more bearable, and now…
...now she was being offered to talk about boys...by other boys...at twenty-one. And the worst part was that she was actually considering it. Her life could not get any more complicated than that. Sighing through her nose, unable to believe how low she’d stooped, she gave in. 
Her type...that was a good question. Back when she was still in her early to late teens, she would’ve said she was looking for a unique guy. The type of guy who valued his individuality and who was above all the pointless trends dominating the public with their pre-fabricated, market-targeted predictability. A guy who didn’t fall into any of the classical high school cliques: someone who wasn’t a brainless jock, or a geeky kid, or one of those posers who hid behind a fake dark persona to get people to pay attention to him.
Someone who embraced being different rather than exploited it. 
Someone like her. 
But all those fantasies turned out to be nothing more than that; fantasies. Delusions. Sooner or later she’d have to open her eyes to the world. She just wished Gregor hadn’t been the one to open them up for her… After that fiasco, Sam finally learned what she was truly looking for in a partner. “...a good guy.” She practically whispered in the end. 
Tucker and Danny exchanged a confused glance once their initial surprise at Sam’s sudden reply, after several minutes of silence, had worn off. It was the former who spoke up, “...I’m not sure that qualifies as ‘a type.’”
“Of course it does!”, she protested. “Just like girls stereotypically fall for ‘bad boys’, we can also fall for ‘good guys.’ And I’ve had my fair share of bad boys, thank you…” she muttered before looking away from them. 
Something about the way Sam said those words hinted at a lot more going on than just a teenage girl crushing over a guy with a motorcycleーand hopefully not a ghost one who only wanted her as a vessel for his real girlfriendー, but she seemed to have closed herself off completely. Danny wanted to ask her about it, but something in the way her position stiffened changed his mind. No way would Sam open up to someone she'd just met over something so personal.
Instead he asked, "And how about looks?"
She flashed him a small smile and that alone made his entire week worth it. "I'll admit, I do have a soft spot for guys that aren't exactly average."
Tucker scoffed. "Well, duh! I'd also pick a supermodel over a plain-looking chick any day of the week..."
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
Despite the seriousness in her voice, she eventually broke down laughing, the other two joining in on the fun soon after. As her giggles quieted down, Sam stole a furtive glance at Danny. The way he seemed to sense her discomfort despite barely knowing each other and making an effort to keep her mind away from unpleasant thoughts was enough to make her heart flutter, making her blush slightly at the realisation. 
She shook the feeling off, though. Danny was sweet, and maybe a little cute despite his, apparently, natural awkwardness, but she wasn’t looking for romance, having much more important things to take care of. Besides, he really wasn’t her type, cute as he may be. Still, that didn’t change the fact that she wanted to thank him for his help in some way. And, against her better judgement, she knew just what to do. 
An hour passed by until Tucker had to bid them goodbye, saying he was going to be late for class if he stayed with them any longerーalthough he really, really wanted to skip that lectureー, and so, he left his two friends to their own devices. Another forty minutes or so later, it was finally time for them to go to their respective classes, too. 
Rolling her eyes at Danny as he opened the door for her, but thanking him nonetheless, Sam stepped out of the café, her companion close behind her. “About the spell thing you asked me about earlier…” she started, her words coming out of the blue and tearing Danny away from his own thoughts, “I guess, if witches are actually just humans with magical powers, then it’d make sense if they’d need some sort of way to activate said powers…”
Mouth slightly agape, he finally found the words, “You mean like a password or something?”
She looked over at him from the corner of her eyes, a cryptic smirk on her lovely face. “Maybe.” 
Turning to face him, her smile widening but never losing its mystery, she waved before walking past him, “See ya, Danny.”
Danny slowly waved at her in return, unbidden, too gobsmacked to form a coherent sentence. Because just like that, she was gone. 
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The Sea Isn’t Green, and I Love This Dream | Risotto Nero x Reader
Subtitled “Keep Smoking - I Still Love You”
If you were to look at him with those eyes of yours and smile in earnest, all for him, he would surely fall in love with you all over again. As if he ever stopped loving you in the first place.
- 2020 Holiday Gift - A Continuation of Sober to Death -
Content Warnings: Incidental Stalking, Unhealthy Smoking Habits, Past Relationships, Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics, Angst, Regret, & Referenced Child Abuse
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It is the summer of 1998. Risotto has not left his apartment in days, for he has found no reason to; there have been no new contracts, no paperwork in need of filing, and no immediate issues with the newest recruit. But today, he will venture out under the brazen sun and purchase groceries for the upcoming week. If not for the matter of his own sustenance, it will at least keep Prosciutto off his back. As if it is any of the blonde man’s business whether his Capo is eating adequately or not.
As he coasts through the aisles, searching for pre-packaged dried pasta, jarred sauce, and some kind of fresh vegetable – because Prosciutto said so –, he feels the condescending, fearful stares of patrons without needing to acknowledge them. If it is not for his stature, then certainly the peculiar coloring of his eyes. However, the ogling no longer bothers him, simply because he does not let it; after all, he is no longer the boy who once lived in Palermo.
There is a sale on pre-sliced bread. Yet, even after the discount, the name-brand loaf is still more expensive than the off-brand. He settles for the latter. It all tastes the same to him, anyways. And if he can save a thousand lire, then it is all the better. Prosciutto, he supposes, would disagree and insist that the off-brand bread is cheaper for a reason. Risotto is reminded of exactly why he does not live with the man anymore. But he still makes a conscious effort to buy fresh produce.
Basket filled, Risotto heads towards the check-out line. He knows that he has neglected to grab a bag of oranges, as denoted by the crumpled list in his hand, and he does not intend to return for them. The carton of berries and fresh figs he found along the way will be enough. Though, he does loathe forgetfulness.
The line, as he discovers and much to his dismay, is backed up. The brevity of the situation is simply that the grocery store has been understaffed as of late. Something about gang-violence and an attempted robbery – nothing that concerns him or his men. A person in his line of work fears little. Or at least, that is the theory. His thoughts linger to the new recruit, whom Prosciutto has taken under his guidance. He has always had more patience than Risotto regarding such matters.
The young Capo has lost track of exactly how long he has stood in line. Denoted by the telling grumbles of an older man behind him and the pleading of his wife to calm down, Risotto knows that it has been a while, and unreasonably so. Glancing down at his basket, a questionable consideration comes to his impatient mind: it would not be difficult to slip away, shroud himself with his Stand, and leave the grocery store with his would-be stolen goods.
It is certainly nothing to lose sleep over. In the end, however, he decides against it. Perhaps to salvage his honor and dignity, otherwise challenged by the temptation of petty thievery. Or perhaps because the line has finally moved, and it is too late to back out now. There are only two customers ahead of him now. In moments such as this, he likes to pretend that he is normal – that he might be shopping for a family that waits for him in a home somewhere in the suburbs of Napoli.
But these times have passed, and although only a man of twenty-five, he is complacent with the life as a ceaseless bachelor. A hitman does not make for a good husband, nor a father. In retrospect, Risotto hardly believes that he would want to become either. At least, not anymore.
“Merda,” the woman at the front of the line groans. She sets down the wad of cash in her hand. “I’m ₤15,000 short. Can you just put the oil back? And the sardines.”
The grocery clerk is decent at masking his annoyance with a tight smile and curt nod. It is a commendable skill, though there is room for improvement, Risotto thinks. “God, I’m so sorry. I just moved here for a new job, and my money still hasn’t transferred over to my new bank account. I should’ve taken more cash out to begin with.”
The next woman reaches into her purse and produces a neatly folded stack of lira. She taps the shoulder of the first woman, who turns. In this moment, Risotto believes he has been pummeled through the stomach. There is no other explanation to the tightening of his chest, and the heavy beating of his heart.
There you stand, as beautiful as ever, despite your apparent vexation at your own foolishness. The money quickly passes from the kind woman’s palm to that of the cashier. “Grazie, signora,” you tell her.
At first, Risotto feels nothing, as if he cannot process that which he sees before him. And then, regret – pure and unadulterated. He does not hear what the woman says to you, because the thrum of his mind has made him deaf to everything except for the ringing of his ears. You have not noticed him, unlike every other customer in the establishment, and he would like to keep it that way. You accept the bag of groceries from the cashier, but Risotto does not stick around to see it. He has already pushed past the perturbed husband and wife behind him, with every intention of finding a new line to stand in. He does not care how tedious it will be to make it out of the store. He does not care if the tub of gelato in his basket melts, or if the berries turn to mush.
Risotto will do anything to spare the fleeting glance of the only woman whom he ever loved. And if that means waiting another twenty minutes, then by god, he will wait.
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He wonders, as he sits in his office with a blazing cigarette dangling from his lips, if you still smoke. In truth, he has always known that you only ever did it to impress him. He wishes you would not have indulged in this solidary habit – in fact, he wishes you had not done a lot of things, like becoming his closest friend and adolescent savior. His first kiss, or his first lament in the pitfall of countless others.
Clouds cling to the ceiling, seeping into the walls and furniture. If his landlord were not so intimidated by Risotto, then surely the parsimonious man might evict him for ruining the apartment with the stench of cigarettes and the occasional blood stain on the carpet. He supposes that he ought to at least open the window. Just beyond his reach atop the desk is his computer. If he wants to, he can find out every miniscule detail of your adult life and more that has collected over the past seven years, since the moment he left you a young, broken woman who did not mourn him. Every bank transaction, gas receipt, and occasional splurge for an object attributed to various degrees of pleasure – where you are working, where you live, and why you have come back to haunt him.
It is none of his concern, and he does not have the right to pry; not after the hurt he has done unto you, back when you were still two lovers who were, well, in love. He hopes you have found some semblance of happiness, and he will not impede on whatever that may be. But, like an incurable ailment, confliction strikes him. Indeed, he told himself that it is not his guile to cause you further grief. And yet, Risotto yearns for you all over again.
All this time spent living in a world wherein he does not exist to you, how often did thoughts of him cross your mind? Did you think of his ghastly red eyes whenever you have welcomed a new paramour into your bed, and compare the sizes of their hands to his? Did you think of him each time you drove that hand-me-down junker of your father’s, avoiding the backseat like the plague until the engine finally died and you had no choice but to purchase a new car? How long did it take you to scrub out the stains from the upholstery and your skin?
As it were, keeping the distance between you two is effortless. But unearthing unhealed wounds, all in some venture of self-retribution to heal them right, is just as inviting. There is simply too much that might go wrong again – the risks, far too great. Dissociation has served him well enough thus far. Surely, he can keep it up, this manneristic habit of his. It is funny, he finds; that as teenagers, you had once promised that you would always be there for him. It was an undeserving luxury, and one that he often took for granted. Now, though he recognizes in his heart that he still needs you, he wants you gone. For his sake or yours, he knows not.  
But it would be nice to be held by you, one last time.
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Breaking self-promises, like stepping on broken glass just to hear the crack, is an addiction. You are an addiction, and it was only a matter of time before Risotto had found himself in your company more often than he ought to. In any instance, he avoids your radar, and remarkably so. And yet, the tenacity of your existence drives him mad, and he finds himself asking – perchance under the steady trickle of water in the shower or as he lies in bed at night – if you are truly there, or nothing more than an apparition brought forth from his guilty conscious. That, though now he sees you comparing dress fabrics at the boutique across the street, it is conceivably not truly you but rather another woman – a stranger – with the same color hair.
Alas, you exist in both dreams and materiality.
Each moment that he stumbles upon you, from a respectable distance, he notices something irrevocably new: scuffed Mary Janes exchanged for pointed and polished kitten heels, and pleated skirts swapped for hand-tailored dress pants, creased to suggest your sophistication. As for him, he still wears torn jeans when in public. Unless of course, he is working – then it is a pair of striped pants reminiscent of a caricatured prison inmate’s uniform.
He notices, too, the greater attention taken to your hairstyling and makeup. Maturity is becoming of you, but he always thought you were pretty, even before you had learned how to properly apply eyeshadow and lip gloss. Your clumpy mascara never vied to drive him away. In fact, he rather liked it, but only because it was unapologetically you.
He does not mean to follow you to a café after you leave the boutique, arms cradling several shopping bags amongst your purse and a chic leather briefcase. Invisible to the human eye, Risotto falls in step at your side, so close that he can smell your perfume. It is no longer the olfactory copycat of whatever Versace musk you had always begged your mother to buy for you from the drugstore just down the street from your childhood home. Whatever it is now is unfamiliar, albeit comforting.
The café is quiet at this point in the afternoon. The baristas chatter amongst themselves at the counter, and the ambience music humming through the wall speakers is not unpleasant, although not entirely enjoyable, either. Unbeknownst to you, Risotto takes the seat across from you at the corner booth nearest to the window. It must be a coveted spot, he deduces, for the lighting here is impeccable. Mindful of the blackened coffee atop the table, you open your suitcase and produce a neatly pressed stack of photographs, clothing sketches, and glamour shots.
He observes all of it, and only then does he realize that the new career you spoke of to the grocery store clerk is one in the field of fashion design. And what better city in all of Italia to pursue such a thing than Napoli? He wishes he could have been there to witness the bloom of your success, first-hand – and more, he yearns to exist alone at your side for every last day that you both should live.
All of this at nothing more than your expense. Truly, something impermissibly unforgiveable, if he knew that his baggage – if his very being – is enough to hold you back from everything you deserve. It is why he left. At least now, he can see that his grievous mistake was not for naught.
Your coffee has gone cold. Too focused on correcting shading issues in your blueprints and selecting models for an upcoming show, you have neglected it. Did you even need the coffee, or was it just a show of your poise? How would you react, Risotto wonders, if he were to bring you a fresh cup and allow you to see him? Would you thank him – hug him even? Or scream, kick him away, and throw the scalding hot beverage in his face. He should pray for the former, though the latter would be the easiest to cope with. Because, if you were to look at him with those eyes of yours and smile in earnest, all for him, he would surely fall in love with you all over again. As if he ever stopped loving you in the first place.
He imagines what it must be like to be a part of your new life. He wants nothing more than to reach across the table, to place his shaken palm over the manicured hand clasped around the red felt-tip pen, and ask how your day has been. And the day before. And the day before even then. You might drop the pen too, only to lace your fingers with his and grin. “It’s been great, Ris,” you would say. “Really great, but even better now.”
Instead, you scribble notes in the margins with that same hand and tap your foot to the steady beat of music. How wonderful it must be for those who are capable of picking up where they once left off a lifetime ago. If, after all this time, you are so inclined to adore him again, then you must be the most winsome little fool in the world – but his, nonetheless.
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Risotto cannot recall when last he received a contract from the Don, assigned explicitly to the silver-haired man. And so, rather than cooping himself away in the confines of his apartment, smoking until his stomach lurches and he might faint, he roams the city, pegging to the chance that he might find you. The fresh air – as fresh as the air in Napoli can possibly be – is good for him, anyways.
This afternoon, he finds you leaving the post office whilst balancing a packed cardboard box with outstretched arms. You are dressed down, just as he supposes that most normal people do on their days off. Curiosity baits him, like a bobble in the ocean; he shrouds himself and follows you up the cobblestone street ramp, past a row of municipal buildings, down the winding path behind one of many shopping plazas, and directly into the living room of your apartment. He never meant to get this far.
The smooth voice of Mina Mazzini echoes from the turntable atop a wrought-iron accent table placed beside an oak bookshelf containing more decorative figurines and houseplants than actual books. Certainly, your taste in music has not changed. Neither has your preference for caramel-scented candles. For a moment – ever so fleeting – he is a teenage boy again, standing just before bedroom window with his knuckles poised to rapt against the glass. He never told you, for he hid it well behind a stony expression, just how nervous he always felt before visiting you.
More than anything else in his adolescent life, he had feared that one day, you would turn him away. He scarcely cared when his mother verbalized her disgust and chastisement of the boy, or if his father struck him with the belt of his work jeans. Because, in the end, the abuse always gave him a reason to see you. You were his optimistic little silver lining,
Although your sense in interior design is far more elegant than your parents ever fancied, Risotto feels like he is finally home again. It must be the music and the candle – or perhaps it is just the grace of your presence in the setting of domesticity. You set the box on the coffee table and disappear into the kitchen, only to reappear with a stainless-steel knife. He understands his unwarranted intrusion, but just as he makes his way towards the door to leave, your cellphone rings.
“Ciao, Mamma!” you say as you switch to speakerphone. There is only static until your mother speaks to you.
She still sounds the same, though the strain of age weighs heavily on her tone. Suddenly, Risotto is throwing rocks at your window in the nighttime, avoiding the parched tithonias of your father’s garden with his battered sneakers. But this time, it is not you who beckons him in – it is your mother and her infectious altruism that he coveted because she cherished him more than his own mother ever did. She leads him to the dining room table, where you and your father wait, and presents to him a plate of pasta con le sarde.
“Ciao, bambina. Did you get that package I sent yet?”
No questions asked, unless only to inquire if he would like more to drink, or perhaps a second serving; your mother always made extra just in case he needed to get away from home for the night, or if his parents forgot to feed him. He misses his family – his real one, which he thwarted away for trifling revenge. The mere thought of it all sends pangs through his chest, and he thinks he has forgotten how to breathe properly. His mind veers into nothingness, but he knows that everything hurts.
“Mhm! It came today, actually. I’m opening it now.”
Petrified, he watches from across the room as you slice through the packing tape and begin sorting through the box’s contents – assorted bobbles and trinkets of your childhood that were unintentionally left behind after you had moved to Napoli. A few CDs, family photographs, and a work of ceramics-class pottery that had not survived its journey from Palermo. You do not seem bothered by it. Instead, you sweep away the fragmented pieces into a neat pile.
At the very bottom of the box is a scrapbook, ragged from the years of diligent pondering. Several of its pages have stuck together from excess globs of crafting glue. Risotto remembers your endearing hobby, and how embarrassed you had always been to show him your collection. And so, he never asked to see them, though not because he lacked the interest. It must be true that a person is shaped by their early experiences – you spent your youth collaging models with pretty clothes from the pages of magazines; now, you are a considerably successful fashion designer, given your age. Meanwhile, Risotto murdered a man at eighteen – and now, seven years later, he is Passione’s lead hitman. At least he is good at his job, too.
“Uh oh, that didn’t sound good. Don’t tell me that vase broke. I knew I should’ve wrapped it.”
Your dear mother: forgetful and heedless on occasion, though honest by it. You peel the scrapbook open and perch it on your lap, mindful of the delicate spine. Loose bits of glitter trickle from the pages and stick to your pants. Next falls a photograph, separated from the family ones, and wedged away for safe keeping. It is a still-shot of you and Risotto.
“Don’t worry about it! I can just glue it back together.”
However, to be honest, the vase is beyond repair; you have lied to your mother to soothe her guilt. Risotto’s attention has been taken by the photograph on the floor. There, you both sit on the floral-patterned couch that used to adorn your parents’ living room. You lean on his shoulder, beaming to the camera, as he stares ahead, stagnant. Truly, he wanted to smile and to throw his arm around you. He refrained; he did not want to look weak in front of your mother, who had taken the photograph that day.
Because his father never let him forget the vulnerability of emotions.
“Well, that’s good to hear. Listen, dolce, I’ve got to go. Tuo padre needs help in the workshop. But I’ll call you later. Ti amo, ti amo!”
In this moment, he lets his guard down, albeit inadvertently so. Metallica dissipates, and for the first time in what feels like forever – or at least, far too many years worth counting – Risotto Nero surmises that he might cry. As opposed to when you were both still young, it will be easier to run away now: no confrontation, and none of that selfish heartbreak. The gap between him and the door may be closed in two strides. In two strides, he will leave you again, for evermore. And even when he is gone, he will keep telling himself that this is for the best.
“Ti amo, Mamma.”
You reach down for the photograph. You had not meant to let it fall, though you suppose there is little use of it now, if not to keep it as a memento of your own perpetual loss. You dust it off and shake away the green and gold specks of glitter that adhere to the lamination. When the floorboards creak, you look up and meet the pleading gaze of the man whom you think you hate, and whom you think you love. You are good at pretending to do either. And thus, as you both wait in brooding quietude, you know not whether to call the police or to hurry into his arms. You are still, frozen in time – frozen in life.
As for Risotto, he longs for cicadas and katydids to break the terse silence that looms between you two.
Or maybe, just a cigarette.
| 3724 Words |
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youralternantpersonality · 4 years ago
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Surrender
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Paul x Reader short story with the song “Surrender” by Natalie Taylor
Y/n = your name, Y/l/n = your last name, y/h/(t)(c) = your hair (type) (color),  y/e/c = your eye color
 ***
“You can’t hide from her forever Paul. It will consume you. You can’t stay away from her, no matter how hard you try.” Sam said to Paul in front of the whole pack. They all found out the infamous Paul Lahote just imprinted on a girl from Forks. Jake brought her and Bella by one day and Paul just happened to leave Billy’s when he saw her.
“Fuck you, Sam! Just watch. I won’t end up like you and stay trapped in something as sad as imprinting.” Paul argued back. Sam took no offense to it. He knew, just like everyone else, that Paul was going to cave, and they’ll be there to help him through it. So, no one stopped him when he ran and shifted towards the woods.
We let the waters rise We drifted to survive I needed you to stay But I let you drift away My love, where are you? My love, where are you?
Paul ended up at Y/n house in Forks. He wasn’t sure how he knew where she lived but while hiding, he saw her in the kitchen making food for herself and her family with her grandmother. He couldn’t help but watch the y/h/c y/h/t imprint of his laugh and help her grandmother. In his wolf form, he laughed to himself imagining him with them. It was something he craved since childhood. Never receiving that type of love and affection before made him wonder for a second if he’d receive the same thing if he gave in.
But it was only for a second. He shook the thought, growled, and backed away. It was almost like she knew someone was watching her, did she look out the window, unknowing to her, and looked at him straight in the eyes. She knew she was looking at something—it didn’t scare her—but she couldn’t tell what it was. She turned her attention back to her grandmother and put whatever it was in the back of her head. Paul took his chance to leave and go elsewhere. Anywhere away from her.
Whenever you’re ready (Whenever you’re ready) Whenever you’re ready (Whenever you’re ready) Can we, can we surrender Can we, can we surrender I surrender
Weeks had passed, Jacob had fully shifted and abandoned Bella and Y/n. At this point, Paul was out of control. He snapped at everything. If you looked at him too long, if you sneezed too hard if a cat meowed. He would snap. Sam had, had enough of his bullshit. He pulled him to the side to talk to him.
“Damnit Paul stop this shit! Just go to her! Talk to her! No one said you had to be more than friends.” That just pissed him off more. The thought of not being Y/n anything more than friends pissed him off. But being with you did too.
“Why? So, I can be some love-sick puppy?! Fuck that!” He spat.
“It's better than damn nearly killing everyone! Look around Paul! Look at what is the consequences of your action. Without her, you’re not yourself! We all can see it!” Sam looked defeated. “You’re better than this Paul. You said you want to work on your anger, watch what happens when you are near her. You’ll be better in an instant. I can guarantee you that.” He said softly to the hot-headed wolf.
“I’m not a child Sam.” He backed away, “so don’t fucking treat me like one. I can fix my temper on my own. Watch me!” Sam knew what he had to do at that moment when Paul ran. He couldn’t allow this to keep happening.
No one will win this time I just want you back I’m running to your side Flying my white flag, my white flag My love, where are you? My love, where are you?
“Thank you for doing this Y/n. You have no idea how much this will help the boys and their grades.” Y/n smiled at Emily.
“It’s no problem. I’m pretty good at history and English, and I know if Bella would have come, she’d help with the math and science.” You told her, driving in her car to her house. “although, I don’t think Jake would pay mind if she was there.” Y/n gave Emily a knowing look. You both laughed and continued talking along the way.
You were emptying your stuff when you heard Sam and who you knew was Paul. You didn’t see him much when you were in the area with Jake and Bella. But when you did, your heart would skip a beat. You didn’t know what it was about this man, but you could do nothing but think about him. It was the main reason you’d take trips up to the beach by yourself. You did it to get away but also to catch a glimpse of him. But every time you came by, he’d rush to leave. Which left you confused as to why you were tutoring the guys and not someone else.
“Sam, it wasn’t my fault that Embry ran into that tree-” Paul stopped mid-sentence at the sound of your laughter and your fragrance. Pomegranate Mango bath wash with a citrus perfume. Before he could react, Emily spoke.
“Paul! Did you push Embry into a tree, again?” Emily said, scowling at him playfully. Y/n just smiled at her and looked up at Paul. Eyes connecting, stomach flipping, and hearts skipping a beat. All issues and situations, anger and hostilities, sadness, and depression, washed away from him.
“Hey, Paul.” Y/n gave a slight wave and smile. It was then, that Paul surrendered to her. Imprint or not, he wanted her near. For now, and forevermore. He would protect her, even if it killed him.
Whenever you're ready (Whenever you're ready) Whenever you're ready (Whenever you're ready) Can we, can we, surrender Can we, can we, surrender I surrender Oh, I surrender
Paul thinks back on that day and is constantly thankful for what they did. Now he’s watching his beautiful wife rock their third child to sleep. Flora Rylie Lahote was a small little thing. She was a known daddies’ little girl. The only reason she was in Y/n arms was the sole purpose of feeding. Otherwise, she’d be in her father’s arms.
Y/n turns around to notice her husband watching her. She smiles at him and he walks up to her. Wrapping his arms around her waist kissing her softly on her forehead.
“Whatcha’ thinking about babe?” She asks softly, trying to not wake up baby Flora.
“Nothing. Just admiring my beautiful wife.” She smiles and rolls her eyes but says nothing.
“You know, we should try for baby number four,” Paul says, Y/n looks up at him and side-eyes him.
“How about no. I think a family of five will suffice.”
“But I thought you hated odd numbers.”
“I also hate olives, but I ain’t trying to eat them, now am I?”
“That doesn’t make any sense…. How did you correlate having a child to make an even number family, to olives?”
“Let’s not worry about that, shall we?” Flora starts to stir at the sound of people talking.
“Well, it looks like daddy is needed.”
“By who? You or Flora?” Saying with a cheeky smile.
“Highly inappropriate. But to answer, both.” Y/n says handing baby Flora over to Paul.
2 years later
“DAMNIT PAUL!” a choir of “oooh’s” echo through by everyone in Emily’s house from the front door.
“Daddy’s in trouble,” Flora says. Little Paul and Pax grab Flora to get out of their moms’ way. Knowing that their mother just might kill him.
“I didn’t do it, I swear!” The pack watching quietly on the side. Embry, coincidentally grabbing popcorn, watching the show of the year goes down.
“Oh, I’m about 100% sure you did.” In comes Y/n with something in her hand. She throws it at Paul’s head, and it bounces off his large head and onto the floor.
“Ouch!”
“Oh, shut up, that didn’t hurt! What will hurt is me castrating you!” All the guys grabbed themselves at the tone of her voice. You can see the girls in the background holding in their laughter.
“What’s cas-wanting?” Flora says.
“It’s where daddy is in trouble,” Leah says. Flora just laughs and Paul looks hurt at his daughter's betrayal.
“Just tell me what’s wrong babe.”
“Look at the damn evidence Paul Lahote.” Y/n says fuming. He reaches down to grab the object. Noticing instantly what it was and what as on it.
It was a pregnancy test…with two lines. She was pregnant. They were pregnant. He starts smiling looking up at her.
“Oh, don’t you DARE start smiling! We said no more!”
“Technically, you said no more, I said one more.” I choir of “fuck” and “dumbass” was heard throughout the room.
“You’re getting a vasectomy.”
“Ha! Paul’s getting neutered! OUCH! KIM! What was that for?”
“Keep it up, and you’re next.”
“Baby lets be reasonable about this. It’s the Universe saying we are great parents and we needed just one more kid.”
“After this, no more. I’m serious, I’ve already made an appointment for your vasectomy. End of discussion.”
“Come on babe!”
“What’s a vac-test-amy?” Oh, Flora… why must you be so cute?  
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life-rewritten · 4 years ago
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THARNTYPE 7 YEARS: LOVE VS MISREADINGS AND INTERNAL STRIFES
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So we are finally in episode 3 of TharnType 7 Years, and if it isn't apparent with my constant ramblings about this show, I am in love, like excited, obsessed, and incredibly happy in love. I know a lot of people are not like me, (it's always this way with this show) but the way the writer has left important character information, subtext and back-shadows in this plot has already made me hooked. The first thing I want to address is the couples in this show because I feel like people think the side couples are a waste of camera time and have no significance or depth, but this is one of the shows this year, where there is actual depth, plot and dynamics for the side couples. None of them is useless in fact; actually, if they don't have a plot, they're symbols/plot devices for the actual story. So stop seeing them as fan service, actually understand their characters, their flaws, their mindsets and see that we might have other couples in this show that are just as precious (with their own love story) as Tharn and Type. Or if you're one of those people who refuse to stop being closeminded about this show, then skip past this post.  But if you do love this show as much as I do, and want to know about what the story is showing; Let's begin.
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First thing first is to look at the subtext, the patterns and what we could understand from episode 1-3 so far with TharnType 7 Years. The plot is all about all these couples having internal conflicts, sometimes psychological/ mental, which results in mindsets nurtured from their past experiences that have them become so flawed and stunted from growth. We've seen this same dynamic in season 1 with our couples, including Tharn and Type. 
With Tharn and Type the series, Mame uses love (the presence of it, the introduction to it and the feelings from it) to force our characters to learn from their mistakes, grow and change, and to reach self-acceptance and healing finally. Perhaps it's not always realistic (sometimes therapy is still needed, sometimes they take things too far, and sometimes the message isn't fully explored/translated) but its what I love about this show since season 1. The focus is on love, how incredible it can be for these characters and how it transforms them to their best version of themselves. In season 2 we have that with all these couples, they all have some kind of internal strife that is preventing them from growing,  And it's through love that they change.  Let me first analyse the couples, so you get what I mean; 
Misreading/Miscommunication/Misunderstanding in TharnType in 7 years
'How do past experiences shape your mindset, choices, and personal development and how does it affect your relationship with the love of your life.'
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TharnType
Misreading because of internal scars
In previous season Tharn and Type has a fun time, getting together, this is me being sarcastic. In reality, these two struggled so much to cross that line, one because of Type's internal struggle with his past  assault making him ridiculously homophobic, and two because of everyone connected to Tharn's own history that contributed to his own internal scars at the end. Luckily our couple survived it all and actually chose to love each other properly. Except these scars aren't fully healed/gone, they still have affected our couple's ideologies, mindsets and actions, especially when it's time again to cross another line: Marriage. Tharn and Type are entering another conflict in their relationship despite their love for each other because of their internal scars. They're both for each other, 100% and they both concede and need each other, but their struggles make them incompatible despite the fact that they're actually trying to be selfless and caring for the other. Because of his past scars affecting how he sees publicity in relationships, Type doesn't want them to be exposed to the world or get married, because of his own internal strife of being abandoned Tharn wants them to prove to each other they won't be separated and needs them to get married for a peaceful mental state. 
Separately selfless and caring: Tharn is sacrificial and a pushover but we can see it's building up this episode and tearing him down, in fact, it was so depressing for him because he had to see Tong propose to his long term lover who by the way her speech was necessary because it showed what was on Tharn's mind. She says she's okay with being Tong's number 3 because she has known from the start who he was and she is willing to be selfless for him. In Tharn's mind, this is what Type should be saying, he should know who Tharn is by now and why he wants marriage, but also he should give in and let them get married because there's no problem to him with it. So that's another couple showing their love to everyone whilst Tharn has been in a relationship with Type for longer and is just not getting that. Still, he concedes this episode he pushes it down in front of Type, and secretly still hopes to get married a different time. But this is misreading Type because Type still wouldn't accept that proposal and it will cause a blow-up. 
The ring, the piano (playing their song) and the roses he was holding (passionate love) all symbolise Tharn's strife, he has everything ready, and was the one who played the song, held the flower, and bought the ring but he didn't have Type there. Type was avoiding going because he didn't want to bring back what happened in episode 1, being forced to again talk about marriage, (not selfishly, he's doing it, so they don't fight about it). Still, his absence also represented his misreading of Tharn's feelings.
In episode 3, we do see Type in denial, he is starting to realise that marriage could be a possible thing, and he knows Tharn wants it the most, (its what he wished for, for his anniversary in episode 1 for them to be together forever, marriage is proof of that promise)  he's frightened about hurting Tharn because he can see it is killing him. However, still, he can't get over his blockages and mindset, which is understandable. 
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So he needs clues and evidence to start seeing Tharns perspective finally: the girl, Techno, his parents, Fiat.
 But we can see how Type is changing; he takes in Fiat because he wants to help someone like his past self feel understood. He feels inclined to help him not just because of work, but he kind of like takes him in as a young brother and nurtures him because he probably needed someone like that when he was younger. 
Hence this is why Fiat isn't meant to be seen as a devil in this show, but like Type, in season 1 he's meant to be misguided, stupid, irrational, and grow. Fiat takes the role of Type from season 1 (despite in his love story is more like Tharn will explain later), he'll do things and say things automatically. He'll cause issues, but if you notice  Leo (who probably is going to be in Tharns position in season 1 longing for him and being hurt because he's too late but also can be like Type in his own love story) is his calming influence. But Fiat will grow after his mistakes and love (losing Leo) will make him learn and grow from his mindset. Fiat is not just an object/boring second lead that just likes the main character, his involvement with the main story is going to cause growth for our couple but also lead him to his own plot with his own love story that's just as messy, angsty and romantic as Tharn Type in season 1. And you know what I can't wait to see it unfold. 
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Fiat and Leo:
 Misreading because of reputation and protection
These two are so annoying, mostly because they're in the same position as TharnType in season 1 where they have perceived obstacles preventing them from the crossing the line even though they're in love.
We're introduced to Leo in episode 3 who definitely has feelings for Fiat. There are so many clues to the fact that he's automatically in love and romantically cares for Fiat. 
1.He clearly longs for his touch: they both keep glancing and looking wishfully at each other's lips each time they come face to face, it's there because they want to kiss each other, they're pulled to each other in that way
2. He drops everything for Fiat's safety, protection and needs. He will do anything; he even is seen this way by Fiat's 'friends' as the person who is the most protective and possessive over Fiat
3. He's jealous about not knowing about Fiat's state, he wants to be needed and trusted by Fiat above all. And he enjoys when Fiat is submissive and gentler to him. 
So why is he so adamant about keeping them as friends?
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Fiat's reputation: 
Fiat reminds me of Stud (another messy, spoilt, selfish character who did so because of neglect) from another BL show Friendzone, he's flirty, and he sleeps around whenever Leo isn't around, he's a bit unstable without Leo by his side, rude, makes tantrums like a child who wants attention. When you look at it this way though, he's a child suffering from neglect, although he's rich, so he gets everything he wants he doesn't actually feel adequately loved;
He ran away from home when he was young because of a lack of attentive parents; he did this to get attention, and it's because he felt overlooked and not listened to. We see that he already acts impulsively whenever he feels slighted; this is important for his character.
.He says so sadly in the show to his date in episode 3: This was another exposition to his character's mindset; he feels misunderstood, unloved and not taken care of properly by everyone, including his so-called friends who also just see him as a child, and spoilt. He's felt always never seen. He says this after he realizes that Leo may be possibly happy without him in Italy. He was feeling lonely, irritated and bored with Leo there, but because he cared about Leo's happiness (Leo apparently said the camp was important to him), he didn't want to bother him. If Fiat were so manipulative and selfish and just saw Leo as a tool for emotional baggage he would have texted but no he conceded for Leo's wellbeing. 
His dependency on Leo: When he ran away from home when young it was Leo he went to. It's because Leo has always been his safe space, the only person apart from Type who shows Fiat in this episode that he understands why he's being so upset about the basketball thing, he protects and delivers care to Fiat. 
So why does Fiat feel neglected by Leo: because he's hurting from Leo's rejection/adamant denial that they are nothing. Fiat clearly has feelings for Leo (Stud did for Earth and also felt frustrated that he refused to take him seriously). Still, he's kind of been forced to sacrifice those feelings because he wants to keep Leo by his side. But it still 'breaks' him to do so: whenever he hurts he says stupid things, acts prideful and tries to seem spoilt hence how he spoke to Leo in this episode, but then he concedes. 
I think he's like Tharn when it comes to Leo a little bit, he's like Tharn was in season 1 when he was chasing after Type, but deciding to keep it unofficial whilst it breaks him inside and makes him even more distant that he's being overlooked.  One because like Tharn he wants to keep Leo by his side and do what he wants, so they don't fight, (sacrificial, he shows he cares a lot about Leo he's not selfish). Two because he also feels neglected by Leo for not accepting or taking his feelings seriously (hence being misunderstood).  
For his ego and self-defence mechanism,  he embraces his spoilt persona. You can tell that he only does it whenever he's hurt, scared, or his ego is failing, for example, with the basketball scene; leg hurting and throwing the ball in a fury in episode 3. 
Fiat is not selfish or manipulative; he's just spoilt. He's more like Tharn in season 1 than Type honestly. Tharn is also sometimes selfish, manipulative and stubborn when it came to Type. Tharn is just as rich as Fiat and was used to getting what he wanted. So he also threw tantrums when things didn't go his way, and he guilted Type always into conceding.  Type didn't always fall for it and was more stubborn and headstrong than Tharn.
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 Leo is complicated, and if I'm seeing him like either Type or Tharn, these are his reasons for why he is not accepting his feelings.
Like Earth from Friendzone with Stud, he thinks Fiat's love is fickle; he believes he's spoilt, that he doesn't actually want him, he's just saying it as a joke. He thinks he's shameless and a nutcase, and he's just seeking attention. So even if he has feelings, he doesn't want to accept them because of this.
Because he is like Type and has some kind of internalised homophobia, forcing him to not think about Fiats feelings, they are raised in an interesting environment: status, money, reputation. Probably he, himself does not believe he could be gay and have feelings, so he sees everything he does with Fiat as friends, but he's clearly in denial about it, Just like how many times Type was in denial about what Tharn was to him and kept on insisting he didn’t see them as anything more than s*x friends. But Type learnt the hard way of what he wants especially when San entered the picture in season 1.  Type is Leo’s San, he will now force him to learn how he feels and finally accept it. 
Like Type with Tharn this season, it's about the reputation of the family, he's the person who is the closest to Fiat, and they're family friends it'll ruin what they have, the reputation of the family if they're in a phobic environment. It would be stressful to deal with the fallout. He's refused to cross that line to protect Fiat, and him like Type is doing to Tharn this season.
He just doesn't want their friendship to be ruined, so he does long and want Fiat, but he's too scared to be hurt or their relationship to stop. This is the same reason why Fiat sadly concedes, they both are keeping it undefined for each other not really seeing that they both love each other. The more Leo rejects and hurts Fiat and makes Fiat think there's no chance for them; Fiat latches more to Type who is this symbol for all the love that he never received.
 Although Leo doesn't neglect Fiat that way, he does make him feel misunderstood, stuck, and his feelings are being ignored. It's what he says to Leo, "You came too late" essentially you accepted your feelings too late. Jealousy is what will now make Leo embrace himself and push for their relationship (same as Type in season 1) whilst jealousy of Fiat's involvement will drive Tharn and Type to cross the line and get married.
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Champ and Khun
 Misreading because of lack of self-esteem
Champ and Khun, my babies. Champ is going to be hurting Khun without realising it. Champ is really bad at love mostly because of lack of self-esteem, he doesn't think he's worth loving for some reason, he also doesn't see any point to love, and he's automatically cut himself of that. The thing with Champ is that Khun is different, he knows this, and I think we're going to see him feel this later on. But I think Champ and Khun are definitely like King and Ram, like King Champ is insecure about what Khun thinks of him and so he will also know how he feels but push it down because he doesn't think he's good enough for Khun.
We know that he's seen as dumb and dim, he mistakenly messed his university year, and he's just starting his business, so he's a little insecure compared to his friends.
We see how he is when it comes to love in season 1, he doesn't understand why people want him, and he doesn't feel anything to others in any way shape or form. 
It's either that or he's just so dumb that he doesn't even register how he feels for Khun as love, there other characters like him; Haruta from Ossans Love and Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee. They keep on flirting and doing this automatically to their love interest, but he's not going register why it's different, and this will hurt Khun because Khun won't say it out loud. 
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Khun also seems like he struggles with lack of self esteem, insecurity, he's quiet and nervous all the time, he's shy and unsure about how to say to Champ how he feels, and yeh he also struggles to say how he feels. He's tried now to spend time with Champ alone twice, and he's shown annoyance in a polite way to both Type and Techno for being there. He's had feelings for Champ for seven years probably when they stayed in the same dorm, but he's not been able to gather up the courage to say so. So he's also going to be misread by Champ that he also likes keeping it cool and platonic because he doesn't know how just to say it. (Like Ram from my engineer) But I think he will get angsty the more he gets closer and unsure about what they are, and will finally say it out loud. 
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Cir and Phu: 
The antithesis/symbol
Cir and Phu represent a couple that gets each other and makes an effort to let the other know how they feel, hence they don't hide or shy away from how they feel, they are blissful, in their own world, and they are the antithesis of these couples. But they also represent what these couples could be if they finally embrace their issues and see each other, Tharn and Type can finally be out and exposed to people, Leo and Fiat can finally be possessive over each other and show romantic ownership. Champ and Khun can finally tell each other how they feel and be in a relationship. 
So yeah, the couples in this show are all, significant, exciting and vital to the plot. They're not wasting camera time, especially Leo and Fiat in episode 3, we needed to understand why Fiat becomes our villain. He's perfect for it; spoilt, stubborn, and refuses to give this fight up because he's tired of being neglected. And Type represents a chance to be seen I guess to him. Tharn and Type and Leo and Fiat are mirror characters, they all learn and grow from falling in love, it doesn't mean they won't be messy, they won't make mistakes, but they're really understandable unlike some other one dimensional characters in this genre. Please give this show a break, and stop focusing on, on the surface information, listen to what the characters are saying, what has been shown and mentioned about them and think about how it affects them. Like Techno, for example, he's going to be a helping hand to these couples, for Tharn and Type he'll help push them to marriage (this is why he sends in the group chat that Tharn is cheating despite the fact he knows he's gay, he's not stupid or problematic he's up to something because he has to help Tharn find a way to make Type concede and want to be possessive of him), he'll also be necessary to Champ and Khun, he's already clued into their relationship dynamic, so he'll let Champ know the truth. He's playing the same role he did in season 1 for Tharn and Type. All these characters are essential, and they all fit the plot and pacing correctly. Stop thinking they're not. Okay, I'm done with my rant; let's see what happens next in episode 4, Ciao. 
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cheri-translates · 4 years ago
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[CN] Victor’s R&S - Paradise on Earth (Eng Translation)
🍒This R&S (“世间桃源”) will not be released in EN or any server as it’s one of the cancelled R&S which came with the Dream Heart Lake gacha event!🍒
This is a full translation, so it’s highly recommended that you follow along with the narrator (i.e. our beloved Mr Mills) :> 
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Summary: This is Victor’s paradise on earth. It has delicacies, good wine, and stories. 
Cancelled Victor R&S:
> flashback 
> six out of seventeen 
> so-called disparity
[ Chapter 1 ]
People of my generation believe in fate.
Whether I was led into the restaurant by the fragrance of wine while passing by along the street, or meeting the manager of Souvenir and becoming a part of it - these were likely destined to happen. 
After retiring, I would frequently carry a set of keys with me and head out for a stroll. Sometimes, I’d look at what’s new in the shopping mall, and sometimes I’d do so purely because the weather was good - perhaps I was someone who just couldn’t remain idle. 
It was also because of this reason that I walked into Souvenir that day. At first, I was enticed by the fragrance of wine; afterwards, it was because of my surprise towards the manager’s capriciousness.
Finally, it was because of the culmination of years of experience that I could remain here.
At this age, I never expected to meet a friend with such an interesting personality that gelled with mine despite our age differences. 
I still remember when I walked in back then, following the fragrance of wine. I had even questioned if the restaurant was open to begin with. The entire restaurant was empty, and a man stood in the half-exposed kitchen, buried in work, looking as though he had just got a footing in life. Apart from the sound of wine being poured, the only things that could be heard in the empty area were my own footsteps. There were even echoes resounding because of the space.
Usually, I would turn around and leave if the staff didn’t attend to me, preventing me from embarrassing myself. However, on that day, such a thought didn’t cross my mind: Since I had already followed the scent of wine, I wouldn’t be satisfied until I enquired about it.
Hence, even to this day, I can still remember the first words I said to the manager.
-
[ Chapter 2 ]
Back then, I asked him this:
“Mister, how much is the wine?”
His answer naturally left a deep impression on me:
“An exorbitant price.”
He didn’t even lift his head when he said this, and his act of sealing the bottle didn't cease. If it were somebody else, they could have gotten angry in response to his arrogant attitude - it’s human nature.
However, I found this young man very interesting. If I were to put it in the popular lingo, I’d say that I saw the aura of an��“artisan” in him. As such, I smiled and continued with another question: 
“In that case, what is the asking price for this exorbitance?”
Hearing this, the man finally lifted up his head from his work. 
He looked even younger than I imagined. His features were defined and regular. His expressionless face looked majestic and proud.
As compared to a restaurant, he’s more suited for politics or in the business world - Such an impression was evoked the moment one laid eyes on him, especially since he was wearing a well-fitted suit underneath his apron that day.
“That will depend...” after a short pause, the young manager changed his term of address, “it will depend on your worth.”
[Note] This part doesn’t translate well to English, but Victor basically  starts off by addressing Mr Mills as “你” (which is used when talking to peers/someone younger), then changes it to “您” (used when talking to an elder/someone you respected). Both mean “you”, but they are of different formality :>
Even though he used a more respectful term of address, his face still lacked the signature smile frequently seen on service staff. The contrast of the young man piqued my interest, and a certain gut feeling surfaced - getting to know him wouldn’t be a bad thing.
And because of this gut feeling, I made a decision I never, ever regretted. 
-
[ Chapter 3 ]
After working here for half a year, I still couldn’t make sense of the way this business was run. The opening hours depended on the boss’ mood. The “daily menu” depended on the ingredients that day, and the contents on the bill were plucked from the air.
When customers walk in, there was a 50% chance that they would get chased out, a 30% chance that the bill would leave them unpleased, and out of the remaining 20%, only 10% would become returning guests - and this percentage wasn’t guaranteed either.  
I was uncertain if it was a coincidence or an inevitability, but out of the recurring customers, most of them were celebrities from various industries. Some looked familiar, especially that well-received celebrity who appeared frequently on television. Some of them I didn’t recognise.
What differed from my imagination was that the manager didn’t concern himself with celebrities like in other businesses. In contrast, he disliked those who came simply because they were celebrities... hmm, how should I put it? Those kinds of people who came here to take pictures more than to partake in delicacies. Because of this, he specially imposed a “no photography equipment allowed” rule. 
I talked to the boss about this before. 
“The ladies just wanted to record beautiful things in life - it shouldn’t count as breaking the rules, right?”
At that time, this was what the manager said while he was busy in the kitchen:
“They can go elsewhere to record the ‘beautiful things in life’. Souvenir doesn’t need their meagre contributions.”
When he spoke, the manager didn’t have a look of unhappiness or disdain. What I heard was him purely stating a truth, but I knew that in his heart, he didn’t like those customers. If such customers came to the door, he would rather close his restaurant. 
“But, Manager, you also take pictures sometimes.”
Exactly because I had a sufficient understanding of the manager, I knew clearly that he wouldn’t lose his temper. This was why I’d take a risk sometimes - either challenging his authority as the manager, or deliberately putting him on the spot in the capacity of an elder. I just couldn’t help wanting to know what went through the mind of this young man, who was riddled with contradictions.
For someone my age, it was largely me being overly curious.
“...I take photos for the purposes of creating new dishes and adjusting the taste. As customers, all they need to do is eat.” The manager had always been taciturn, but his mind moved incredibly quickly. This is one point of him that I admired a lot. 
Our interactions were mostly intended for exploring different approaches, so there were always circumstances where we would dispute or disagree.
“Honestly speaking, I also think the dishes are presented very well, so I can understand their feelings.” Most of the dishes in Souvenir have a certain optimal period when they are best tasting - that’s what the manager was most upset about. “If they eat immediately after taking photos, it shouldn't affect the tasting experience, right?”
“Real customers... cough.” As though he thought about something funny, the manager released a dry cough to conceal his sudden laughter. “Will feel regret after finishing their food, because they realise that they haven’t taken a picture. I hope Souvenir can leave behind such happy regret.”
Now that I think about it, it’s probably because we always uphold the same standard for delicacies, that the manager employed me.
After all, whether before or after I came, I never saw hiring notices pasted in the restaurant.
-
[ Chapter 4 ]
After working here for two years, I still couldn’t make sense of the way this business was run. However, the good thing was that I had become completely used to it.
Whether it was the way the manager and I interacted, or the circumstances of work - even though I was a service staff, the scope of my work was mostly that of an assistant. After all, the restaurant had very little business.
It was probably because the boss did whatever he wanted. No matter how good his cooking was, the business of the restaurant remained subpar, and it was a good thing he wasn’t concerned about the accounts. Whenever I gave him quarterly reports of the deficit accounts, he always looked well aware of the situation. 
He would occasionally nod his head as a sign of acknowledgement. Sometimes, he would divert the topic to a new dish, and he would sometimes talk about an even more complex issue. For example, the definition of “winning and losing”, and what it meant to have an objective.
Whenever we talk about these matters, he would never put himself on a pedestal as a manager. No, it’s more like, when there are no customers around, he is never like a boss - or a big chef who is passionate about delicacies, or a modest member from the younger generation.
“This is what I think about the matter. I would like to hear your opinion.” When he said this, he furrowed his brows slightly out of habit, his gaze sincere and persistent. 
I understand that one’s opinions tend to be one-sided and flawed, but I was still happy to have a member of the younger generation listen to what I had to say.
If I didn’t happen to hear the manager picking up a work-related call, I would have almost ignored his “other side” completely.
In those two years, I had only witnessed him answering a call in Souvenir once. Before, he would always set his phone on airplane mode at the door of the restaurant. But that time, it was probably a work call he had no choice but to answer.
Although I just happened to hear the contents of his conversation, the spacious and empty room had the tendency to amplify the volume of a person’s voice. Moreover, from his tone, this call probably didn't bring with it good news. 
I turned up the faucet, hoping the sound of running water would drown out the conversation floating from the neighbouring room. 
The voice sounded stern and cold, and in keeping with the first impression he gives others. But...
It wasn’t the young man I was familiar with. 
-
[ Chapter 5 ]
The manager I was used to was someone who would hum while peeling off the shells of prawns, would be in daze as he stared at the dessert in the oven as it gradually took shape, and would open a bottle of fine wine when there’s no business in the restaurant to attend to, and share a meal while chatting with me. 
However...
Just as the manager had never asked about my family, I was not overly curious about his “other side” or even more sides of him, unless he brought it up himself. It was comparable to how took over the task of washing the dishes from me after taking the call. 
“Mr Mills... sorry, I brought my work matters into the restaurant.”
In response to his sudden apology, I couldn’t react at all--
It wasn’t because of the age difference. The manager had never made such a guarantee to me, nor was there any contract or agreement written in black and white that there was such a rule. 
Although he said that he didn’t care about the restaurant’s performance, I could vaguely hazard a guess. But that was the first time I realised: This young man... perhaps he’s giving himself too much stress. 
“Manager, you were suddenly so stern... I even thought I was going to get fired.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, reconcile my own emotions, and cushion the following words. 
“If I get fired at this age, when the time comes and I meet my wife, she’d definitely laugh at me.”
That was the first time I brought up my own family. On that day, I saw the rare emotion called “curiosity” in the manager’s eyes. That night after work, the manager gave me a bottle of wine, and it had a packaging that I recognised.
“Does this mean... I have to sign on for another three years?” I cracked a joke, asking the manager how much this bottle of wine was “worth”.
But this young man, thirty years younger than I, had no intention of making a joke. He shook his head and told me seriously:
“Good wine accompanies good dishes. Even when alone, you have to live well.”
He said that this was not remuneration, but a suggestion.
This bottle of wine could be considered a quarterly award.
-
As of today, the three year contract has been fulfilled.
The last time I used that bottle of wine to ask a question, it wasn’t simply a joke.
As long as my body allows for it, I hope to welcome the next three years, and the three years after that...
Just like the name of the restaurant, every moment here is a souvenir worth cherishing.
Paradise on earth is not much.
To me, it’s like that.
-
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Other cancelled R&S: here
Lucien’s cancelled R&S (by other user): here
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someonelookingpraediti · 3 years ago
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Currently Reading...
The Dream Thieves - Maggie Stiefvater
Day 1: Chapters 1-12
Straight on to book two! I am hyped for this!
Firstly, I love how affronted Noah gets whenever someone comments about him being dead. He’s just the sweetest. Everything he does is adorable. Just let the boy have his glittery snowglobe and bring him back to life. It’s really hit me that he’s not going to age, and he’ll end up alone unless they manage to do something about it.
I adore Ronan, he's so quietly affectionate towards his friends, while simultaneously being aggressively dickish to his friends. I’ve never related to anyone more. Also, throwing Noah out the window because “he’s already dead” is absolute Love Language.
I might have initially mistaken Ronan and Adam for a couple, but I would also accept Ronan and Noah. Although…. Noah is dead. So, would that even work?
Kavinsky is a complete ass, but he’s clearly going to be important. There’s a lot more to him than we’re seeing. I just hope he’s a bad guy, because he really doesn’t seem redeemable and I’d hate if we’re supposed to like him later.
Also, the “grey man” bits are really boring me at the moment, although I’m sure they’ll be important. He’s looking for “greywaren” which he assumes is an object, but in Ronan’s dream it said HE was greywaren. So I guess that’s something?
And then this sudden realisation: Ronan dreamt Kavinsky’s glasses. Which means Kavinsky dreamt Ronan’s wristbands. Shit.
And above all? Good god please let Ronan be gay. Don’t bait me. Just let him be gay.
Day 2: Chapters 13-31
I love Ronan’s gay metaphors! He doesn’t like lamps. Please, dear god, let Ronan be canonically gay. I love how much he focuses on how pretty his guy friends are. I love that in his chapters, it never mentions the girls being pretty. He doesn’t notice. Let him be gay. Please, please, just let me have this.
And oh my god, oh my god, is Ronan’s mother a dream creature? Ronan is half-dream!? Ok so I knew Ronan’s dad was a…. Dreamer? Is that what we’re calling them? But I did not see this coming. His whole life had been dreamt up.
And speaking of dreams. I’m back to Ronan-and-Adam. Fuck yes. The perfect couple. He’s dreaming about Adam running his fingers over Ronan’s bare back? Super gay. Adam is in a lot of these dreams.
Bit disappointing that he also dreams about Kavinsky. And now he’s “never sleeping again”?! So, bringing giant man-bird hybrids to life and being ripped to shreds is totally fine and dandy, but he gets off on a dream about Kavinsky’s mouth and suddenly he can’t ever sleep again? Priorities, Ronan. Have your gay crisis another time.
And I am so enamoured with Noah the Cowardly Ghost. It’s so endearing! He’s constantly like, ‘no, I’m not going in there, it’s creepy’. As if he isn’t fucking reenacting his own death all over town.
And then. And then. Blue and Noah practicing kissing? That whole scene with them exploring the factory was adorable, trying on sweaters and blowing mint at each other? But then them deciding to try kissing, like a pair of curious pre-adolescents? Unreal. And there’s nothing really terrible about kissing Noah, apparently, other than the fact that he’s cold and dead. Yeesh.
Day 3: Chapter 32-63
Ok. Ok, wow.
Firstly, let’s just touch on the fact that I think Ronan sent Gansey a dick pic while drunk? I say “I think” because the alternative is that Kavinsky took advantage of Ronan’s unconsciousness to free his tackle and send the pic for him. Which is. Yikes.
I have a lot of feelings about Adam and his many, many issues, and many of those feelings are very conflicting, but I’m glad Blue finally came clean, and he’s finally doing something productive about his… issues.
And I wasn’t overly invested in the whole Blue/Gansey thing, or actually in Gansey in general, but that “pretend kiss” was just adorable.
And I wasn’t expecting to feel anything other than hatred for “Mr Gray”, especially after the whole tyre iron thing, but yeah ok! Actually I think I might like him?! He seems almost… reasonable? Like a proper grown up.
And then Ronan finally, finally admitted that he’s gay!!! Ok, he didn’t say the words, and it was to Kavinsky of all people, but we got an actual solid confirmation. I am so, so used to being baited again and again, hints and suggestions and “you can read whatever you want into these characters”, usually ending up with the creators bottling it and making them straight after all. To actually get a character I relate to so much to actually be gay, it’s burning a hole in my lungs. This is what I needed as a teenager. I’m so used to giving and now I get to receive.
Speaking of Kavinsky, what a character. Wild and untamed and combustible. He just seemed like an Aglionby Asshole at first, but he’s so dangerous, he made Ronan seem like he really is just Gansey’s pet! Still a total dick though, and he completely had it coming. Fuck you, Kavinsky.
These books are unreal, I love them so much, I am going straight into the third one. I need to know if I’m going to get the Ronan/Adam romance I deserve. Because Ronan’s second secret was Adam Parrish. oh. My god.
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winryofresembool · 4 years ago
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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 24
aka Caleo uni au
Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…
Chapter summary: Halloween chapter, part 2.
A/N: Yay, an update! I think some of you are gonna be happy about the characters that are being introduced in this chapter... Also lots of Caleo dorkiness (and canon references) in it! And you'll get to see if you were right with your costume guesses :D
Also like I already mentioned last week, this is the last chapter that I have written so far (when I started posting this fic I tried to make sure I'd have at least 7 chapters ready so I wouldn't have to stress about deadlines... and here we are now) so it is possible that updates may slow down a bit, at least if the chapter wants to become long. But I am still /trying/ to keep up with the regular updates the best I can :) So worry not!
Now, enjoy and let me know what you think!! Ps. somehow we’ve managed to pass 50k words already :O
Words: 4040
Genre: romance & hurt/comfort
Warnings: none
previous chapter / AO3
“Hi, you guys!” Piper, who was dressed as Wonder Woman, greeted Leo and Calypso first when they arrived, gesturing for them to come in.
“Hello! I was afraid Argo II had decided to stop working because you guys are late,” Jason the Superman noted as he offered to take Calypso’s coat and put it in a hanger by the door.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Jason, that possibility did cross my mind as well,” Calypso said, casting Leo a meaningful look. “But no, not this time.”
“We’re only 10 minutes late!” Leo protested, checking the time from his phone. “I was busy finishing something… and Calypso took her time preparing herself as well. She probably did her wig for like two hours.” He gave her a not so serious side-eye.
“I did not!” Calypso said defensively. “Yeah, I straightened and combed and braided it but that took me maybe 15-20 minutes so he is highly exaggerating.”
“Don’t worry, Calypso, we know he does that a lot.” Piper smiled at her reassuringly. “Speaking of your wig, though, you look very cute! That hair reminds me of the style you had before my makeover. You’re dressed as the mythology Calypso, right?”
“Yes, I am,” Calypso said, pleased that Piper had figured that out so fast. “I thought it would be fun to be a bit self ironic for once. I haven’t really had a good reason to sew recently so this was a nice excuse to do that as well.” She made a small twirl to show the dress better.
“That dress really looks great!” Piper told her. “I would gladly commission you to sew me clothes; it’s so hard to find anything nice from the clothes stores these days. But Leo.” She turned back to him. “I see someone hasn’t bothered to get a costume. I wasn’t expecting that from you because you’re always so excited about them.”
“No, you got it all wrong.” Leo wagged his finger at her. “I do have it here, but as I told Cal, it would have been too difficult to wear in the car.” He dropped his bag on the floor, causing a loud thud as it hit the ground.
“Alright. Care to give us any hint what it is?” Piper asked curiously. “Seems heavy.” Calypso wondered if this was something they did every year.
“I’m just saying that it’s inspired by some movies that united us three,” Leo noted mysteriously. “But that’s all, you’ll see soon!”
“My mind is blank now,” Piper said. “Jason, what movies have we watched with him?”
“The first one that comes to my mind is Star Wars,” Jason reminded her. Suddenly both Jason and Piper’s eyes widened in realization. “Could it be?”
“Oh no, Leo you didn’t!” Piper doubled over in laughter when it occurred to her what Leo’s costume most likely was. “I can’t wait to see this!”
“I hope you took pictures with Festus!” Jason couldn’t keep his poker face either, and Calypso watched their reactions with confusion.
“Don’t worry, I will show them later.” Leo grinned, unperplexed by Jason and Piper’s laughter. “Now, where can I change?”
Piper showed him an empty room where he could get into his costume in peace, while Calypso started looking around the house on her own. Even though the place seemed rather fancy, Jason and Piper had managed to make it cozier with their personal objects. A lot of them had seen life and were worn but somehow they still fit in with the newer decorations.
As Calypso reached the living room, her focus went to the guests who had already arrived at the party. She waved at Annabeth and nodded awkwardly to Percy. Even though she and Annabeth were friends again, she wasn’t quite sure how she should act near Percy so ‘reserved’ felt the most natural reaction. She couldn’t help but smile a bit, though, when she registered their costumes: Annabeth had a Chiton just like her, although grey instead of white, with some silvery accessories and a beautiful owl shaped brooch over her chest. Perhaps the most impressive part of her costume was the Greek styled helmet that was used in battles and that hid most of Annabeth’s curly ponytail. Calypso was quite certain she was dressed as Athena, the Greek goddess that according to her was the one she identified herself the most with. Percy on the other hand was wearing sandals, shorts, a tropical shirt, and a belt with fishing equipment and he was holding a fishing rod in his hand. Calypso couldn’t quite figure out who he was supposed to be, other than some sort of fisherman.
“Hi,” Calypso greeted them as she got to hearing distance with them. “You guys look nice. You’re Athena, right?” She asked Annabeth. “Matches my theme, don’t you think?”
“Sure does,” Annabeth nodded, eyeing Calypso’s costume. “You look pretty much exactly like how I imagine the mythology Calypso.”
“Thank you. Coming from you it’s a big compliment.” She turned Percy. “I can’t figure out who you are, though. You don’t seem like a Greek god?”
“I am, though,” Percy replied. “I’m Poseidon.”
“Ooh, so that’s why the fishing gear!” Calypso realized. “But I don’t think the Greeks had tropical shirts quite yet.”
“No, you’re right in that.” Percy shook his head, smiling a bit. “But I’m basing this on the version in the Peter Johnson series. That’s how he was described in it.”
“I didn’t know you have read that too,” Calypso said, “But makes sense. Um, the Poseidon and Athena of the mythology hated each other, though. Not that it’s really my business, but I hope you two are doing fine…?” She asked a bit nervously, not wanting to be the reason for their issues.
“Oh yeah, we are,” Percy confirmed immediately. “It’s just an old joke – back when Annabeth and I were reading the Peter Johnson books I used to say Poseidon is my godly parent and Athena Annabeth’s, and that just kind of stuck with us.”
“Alright.” Calypso accepted Percy’s answer, turning her attention back to Annabeth. “By the way, where did you get that helmet? It definitely looks fancier than most of the plastic ones you see at costume shops.”
“My father collects these things,” Annabeth answered, lifting the helmet from her head for a moment. “I’ve told you he’s also a historian, right? Well, one of his friends wanted to make a replica of the ancient Greek helmets with some modern machines and dad bought this from him. I’m not saying this is 100 per cent accurate but it looks pretty cool, in my opinion.”
“It does,” Calypso confirmed.
“You came with Leo, right?” Percy asked then, to which Calypso nodded. “Where is he? I can’t wait to see his costume; he usually goes for something that is way over the top. Last year he was Hiccup from How to Train your Dragon and he had made a Toothless costume for his dog. I’ve also seen pics of him as Iron Man. Yes, with a full iron costume.”
“I can believe that of him,” Calypso chuckled, imagining Leo in the said costume. “He just went to change into his costume because apparently he couldn’t drive in it. He didn’t reveal what he was going to be, but it does sound like something extravagant.”
“I missed his costume last year but I’ll be sure to have a camera ready when he shows up this time,” Annabeth said happily. Calypso was relieved that the conversation was going this well; she hadn’t known what to expect beforehand because this was the first time she was in the same room with Percy since the ‘incident’. Talking with him now, though, made her realize that holding a grudge wouldn’t be smart and he seemed to think the same way.
“I just realized,” Calypso decided to change the topic, “that I’ve never heard the story of how you guys know Jason and Piper. So how did that happen?”
“It’s a funny story,” Percy started, smiling at the memory. “Jason and I used to be the captains of rivaling soccer teams when we were around 16. Well, one time Jason’s team was visiting us but we were playing in an arena that had just been renovated so I hadn’t been there before. I may have been a bit late from our team meeting and I was a bit lost so I decided to ask one staff lady where I was supposed to go. Somehow she got our teams mixed up and I ended up in the locker room of Jason’s team. Some of Jason’s teammates said that my expression was worth seeing when I realized the mistake but I dunno about that. The funny thing was that somehow the same thing had happened to Jason; he had also been late for the meeting because of traffic or something and he had gotten into my team’s locker room. Well, after the game we had a good laugh about it together and ended up talking about other stuff as well and noticed we have a lot in common. That’s how we became friends. When we moved into the same town, we started training together at least a few times a week.”
“Piper and I didn’t learn to know each other until Jason and she started dating a couple of years ago and they invited Percy to some party where I went with him. To be honest, I was a bit suspicious about her at first because we seemed very different but eventually we learned to respect each other’s qualities. And here we are,” Annabeth added.
“Those are some cool stories,” Calypso said. “It seems like a funny coincidence that somehow we all ended up in this city even though most of us are from somewhere else. Like Leo is from Texas, I am from Greece…” “Speaking of him,” Annabeth had to muffle his laughter with her hand, “I believe we are finally getting some answers about his costume.”
“Oh… my gods” was all Calypso could say when she turned to the direction Annabeth was looking at. “You’re really something else.”
Leo was completely hidden inside his costume, but Calypso could practically hear him grinning at their reactions. The costume looked very much like in the movies; golden (just painted, not real gold, because there was no way Leo could afford something like that) plating forming a droid with big round eyes and an ability to speak lots and lots of different languages: C-3PO from Star Wars.
“Holy shit, dude, that looks so real.” Percy gaped at Leo. “I���m starting to understand why you spent so much time in your room the past few weeks.”
“Why C-3PO, though?” Calypso asked once she managed to put her poker face back on. “Does that have some story behind it?”
“Because, duh, it looks cool!” Leo exclaimed with a mechanical voice from inside his costume. “I dunno, ever since I first saw C-3PO as a kid I thought it would be cool to be able to build something like that. And hey, his ability to translate like all the possible languages is pretty neat. Me? I just know 3.”
“Isn’t it uncomfortable in there, though?” Calypso asked. “That thing must be heavy.”
“Sunshine, I’m always uncomfortable. But this was a childhood dream of mine so I sure as heck am not backing off now,” Leo said with determination.
“A stubborn one, aren’t you?” Calypso stated. “Even I have to admit, though, that you have certainly done some thorough job with it. Hey, I should take photos before I forget! You don’t get to see this every day.”
The others dug their phones up as well and for a while Leo just made silly poses while they took pictures, clearly enjoying the attention his costume got. Eventually he started demanding that Calypso should join him for the photos but she was a bit hesitant at first.
Leo argued: “Come on. Greek mythology meets Star Wars? You don’t see a crossover like that every day.”
“Can’t argue with that, I suppose,” Calypso said and went next to him. “Well, do we have some kind of story for Calypso and C-3PO’s meeting?” she asked as Percy and Annabeth waved at them to look at the camera.
Leo considered her question for a moment. “Oh, how about this? C-3PO somehow ends up on Calypso’s island - because duh, Calypso is cursed so she can’t leave the island…”
“You seem to know surprisingly much about Greek mythology, just saying…” Calypso noted while trying to smile for the photos, resting her hand on the metallic shoulder.
“I told ya, Sunshine, you can blame tía Callida for that…” Leo reminded her. “Anyway, I imagine those two don’t really like each other at first because they’re so different but eventually they learn to respect each other’s skills; C-3PO can translate basically any language and Calypso is good at all kinds of handiworks, which is hard for a droid.”
“And? What happens after that?” Calypso asked curiously.
Leo considered it for a moment. “C-3PO doesn’t really wanna leave Calypso’s island but he has galaxies to save with his friend R2-D2 so he has to go but he promises to come get her afterwards.”
“Aw, Leo, that is kind of sweet,” Calypso commented, suddenly aware of the metal arm that had snuck around her waist. “Does he… does he ever return, though? Shouldn’t that be impossible?”
“For a human, maybe, but he’s a droid,” Leo noted. “Unfortunately during a big battle he blows up badly but the ever so faithful R2-D2 collects the pieces and finds someone who can rebuild him again. And boom, he makes it back and lives happily ever after with his goddess.”
“What’s the term you use when you enjoy a fictional relationship a lot?” Calypso asked. “Shipping?” Annabeth nodded at her. “I don’t know, Leo, to me it sounds like you ship those two. Isn’t that a bit weird?” “What, why would that be weird? I’ve seen people ship…”
“I see these two have gotten into a full on nerd mode again,” Annabeth said quietly to Percy while they were waiting for the flatmates to stop their bickering so they’d be able to take the photos. “Not projecting themselves into their characters, right?”
“No, definitely not,” Percy agreed.
Eventually Leo and Calypso stopped bickering and Annabeth was able to take the pictures. Even if Leo was mostly hidden by his costume, Calypso felt a bit self conscious about the fact that these were the first photos of them together. They did a few goofy poses because Annabeth and Percy told them to, but Calypso thought she probably looked more embarrassed than funny in them.
Once they were done, Leo went to Annabeth who was going through the photos and bowed his head a bit to see them better. “Hey, these do look pretty cool! It’s probably just the lighting but here you look like you’re blushing to some funny comment C-3PO made.”
“Show me!” Calypso yelped nervously and took the phone from Annabeth. When she saw it, she could immediately tell Leo was not wrong; she really was blushing. “Yeah, it’s definitely those candles in the background that do it… And I think it’s pretty warm in here, maybe all the people here heat this room…”
“OK, if you say so,” Leo said but Calypso imagined that he was looking at her suspiciously through his costume.
Trying to get the others’ attention to something else, she said: “So, who else has arrived so far?”
“Nico and Will. I think they went to get some snacks from the dining room,” Piper, who had just entered the room, answered.
“Leo told me that Nico is Jason’s relative, but what about Will?” Calypso asked her.
“Will is Nico’s boyfriend. This is the first time we’re meeting him but they seem very good together. At least he seems to have a grounding effect on Nico, and he actually listens to him, unlike most of us. Um, sorry, it’s a long story, one that I should probably save for another time. Nico may be a bit hard to approach sometimes but he is a very nice guy when you learn to know him. Just… been through a lot. I guess like many of us here. But he seems way happier now,” Piper said, and as if on cue, they could hear some distant laughter coming from the dining room.
“We should start a traumatized college kids’ club,” Leo attempted to joke, and the others hummed in agreement. Maybe she did belong to this group after all, Calypso thought. If only they knew, though…
“This just got cheerful,” Percy said, interrupting Calypso’s thought process. “Who’s up for blue candies? Get them before Will and Nico eat them all.”
“I heard that, Jackson!” Nico entered the room without a warning. “No offense to you or your mom but blue candies aren’t exactly my thing.”
“Hi, Nico,” Percy greeted him, seeming a bit flustered after Nico’s comment. “You haven’t met Calypso, right?” He pointed at her.
“No, I haven’t,” Nico took a quick look at her and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Alright, in that case, this is Calypso Astal. And Calypso, this is Nico di Angelo,” Percy introduced them to each other.
“Nice to meet you,” Calypso approached him, but he seemed to evaluate her for a moment before he took her hand.
“Likewise,” Nico said finally. “I think Jason has mentioned you a few times.”
“Oh. That’s nice,” Calypso said a bit unsurely, like every time she met a new person. The lonely years still had a toll on her, and even though she liked spending time with her friends, meeting new people was always a bit nerve wracking to her. “You’re his relative, right?”
“A distant cousin,” Nico answered. “Yeah, our fathers are related, but I have my mother’s last name and Jason has his.”
“I take it your mother has roots elsewhere, based on the last name?” Calypso asked.
“She was Italian,” Nico shrugged. “I lived there my first years too. But now I can barely remember those times.”
Calypso noticed the use of past tense, but she thought it was probably better to not ask about that in the middle of a party. “Oh. I’ve been to Italy a few times. I’m originally from Greece.”
“What brought you here, then?” Nico asked.
“Dad’s work,” Calypso responded in a tone that told everyone she wouldn’t elaborate on that topic more. It seemed to have become a habit to her.
“Anyway,” Leo, who had managed to stay quiet for a surprisingly long amount of time in Calypso’s opinion, stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Nico, a little bird told me,” he looked at Jason, “that your boyfriend is a Star Wars geek. Is that true?”
Nico took one look at Leo’s costume and his mouth twitched when he realized why Leo was asking. “He is, but don’t let him get started on it, or else he will never stop. Besides, he’s not my boyfriend, I prefer calling him…”
“A significant nuisance?” Will showed up from the dining room, carrying a plate full of food. “Don’t mind him, he just warms up a bit slow.”
“Yes, this is Will,” Nico sighed, addressing those who hadn’t met them before. “Sometimes he’s a nuisance, sometimes he can be quite OK. When he’s having a good day.”
“Same back at you, dear,” Will laughed. “Did I hear someone mention Star Wars, though?”
“You did,” Leo said, stepping forward so Will could see his costume better. Needless to say, Will looked beyond thrilled.
“Oh boy, here we go again,” Nico said quietly before Will even had time to comment on the costume.
“Woah, that must be the best C-3PO costume I’ve seen. And yeah, I’ve seen a few so I don’t compliment you for nothing,” Will assured.
“Thanks, man, I did spend quite a while with it,” Leo said, high fiving Will. “Glad someone here appreciates good things.”
“I still hope you’re not one of those fans who have only seen the most recent movies and not the originals,” Will noted.
“Heck, no!” Leo exclaimed immediately. “The original three for the win! Mom and I used to watch them a lot… um, when I was little. She was a big fan. But the newer ones just don’t feel the same.” Calypso had a feeling Leo had almost said something else, but he had changed his phrasing at the last moment.
“You have a pretty good taste,” Will said approvingly. Then he finally realized he hadn’t even asked Leo and Calypso’s names before getting into the geek mode.
“So, who are you two? I already met Percy and Annabeth earlier but I don’t think I know you guys yet.”
“I’m Leo Valdez, and this is my, um, flatmate, Calypso Astal,” Leo introduced. Calypso hoped there was a better word to describe their relationship than a ‘flatmate’ but at the moment it was probably the best and the safest option there was.
“Flatmates, huh?” Will repeated. “How did that happen?”
“I was in a hurry to find a roof over my head so I put in the application that I also accept mixed flats,” Calypso replied. “I didn’t meet Leo beforehand because, um, that would have been a bit difficult to arrange in this case, but it worked out OK.” Calypso noticed Leo was looking at her from the corner of his eye, and she realized she had never even talked about that option before. The truth was that she had had to plan her leaving very thoroughly so her father wouldn’t notice and she had driven to Indianapolis as fast as possible, with no time for second guessing.
“And my flat happened to have a room free because our boy Jason decided to move in with Beauty Queen,” Leo added to that story. “It’s really no stranger than that.”
“Oh, right, someone must have mentioned that you and Jason used to be flatmates,” Will recalled. “I just didn’t connect the dots.”
Jason had apparently finished welcoming the rest of the guests because he joined the group in the living room. “That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve asked you, Calypso, if Leo still leaves his dishes undone and if he has empty milk cartons in the fridge.”
“He used to do that?” Calypso asked with amusement. “After seeing his room that’s not so hard to picture, but no, he’s been pretty tidy in the common area. Although one time he bribed me to do his dishes for him in exchange for some of his food.”
“It was a good deal!” Leo protested. “You didn’t have to cook and you also got to taste some Valdez’ sizzling hot quesadillas so I’d say it was a win-win. Besides, you didn’t seem to have anything against that.”
“Alright, I will admit the quesadillas were pretty good,” Calypso conceded. “But a true gentleman offers them without even asking. Well, other than that he’s been OK,” she told Jason with a playful twinkle in her eye.
“I guess he really is able to change his habits, then,” he replied. “At least when the flatmate is someone he...”
Before Jason had time to finish his sentence, Leo intervened: “Folks, do we really have to be talking about my cleaning habits in front of people I don’t know? The first impressions are important, especially when it comes to Supersized McShizzle!”
“We’re just being honest, Repair Boy.” Calypso couldn’t resist booping his metal covered nose. Apparently she just didn’t know how to not cross the line with this boy, she sighed in her mind.
“Is that all? Where’s the feisty Sunshine I know?,” Leo said in a low tone, so the others could barely hear his comment, coming out almost flirty.
“Shut up,” Calypso answered equally quietly but held her gaze at him.
“Ahem,” they suddenly heard Piper’s voice behind them. “In case you’ve stopped with the flirting, I’d like you to meet a couple of people.”
Calypso turned to see the newcomers and as she recognized the Hunter badges both of them had attached to their shirts, something in her mind just suddenly turned off.
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schrijverr · 4 years ago
Text
Flying Solo
Reggie can dance ballet, he learned from his mother and does it whenever he’s feeling low. The band catches him and it turns into a bonding moment.
On AO3.
Ships: none
Warnings: Reggies home life from before they died is mentioned briefly. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!
~~~~~~~~~~
Alex and Luke had been friends since they were very little and had befriended Bobby in Middle School, only meeting Reggie in High School after he had moved to LA from NYC. He had easily fit in to their little group, but they did not know Reggie as well as each other.
Not that Reggie minded, he was a pretty private person. He didn’t like sharing things about himself and had become a pro in talking without ever saying something.
He did not like talking about his home and his parents, so he avoided those topics and made sure to always have an excuse ready about why they couldn't go to his home and he put on an act (partly) of being a dumbass to discourage deeper conversations.
It had even taken the other three a while before they figured out where he was from, only finding out when he had rolled his eyes at the depiction of the Big Apple in a movie.
Reggie liked his new friends though. They let him stay on their couches when the fighting got bad and never pitied him for the bruises.
They were his family.
However, he did not share everything with them, even after they’d gotten close enough to be brothers. Like the fact that his mother had been a professional ballerina, who was still angry she had to give up her studio for his fathers job, nor the fact that he had spend most of his youth there as well and knew how to dance ballet.
He knew they wouldn't judge him for it or think he was girly or weird, he had seen that with Alex. But still, it was his little thing.
The thing he did when he was down, his small comfort that reminded him of better times when glasses remained whole and his mother still smiled.
Ballet was how he had gotten into music, first learning to play pieces on the piano, later violin, then banjo and guitar, which lead to the true love that was his bass. His mother had always been a music person, his dad too. That used to connect them.
So he kept it to himself, only doing small pirouettes and some stretching in his room or old routines on the beach late at night under the stars to the beat of the fighting floating from the house.
But then they died and nothing was the same anymore. His home was a bike shack, his parents were gone and he was a ghost that could only be seen when they sung with a specific girl. The only good thing was that he would keep his flexibility for all of eternity.
Well, that might be a bit dramatic. Julie was super nice, he still had his friend and their music, and Ray was everything he had ever wanted in a dad, even if the man couldn't see him.
It was just that it hurt sometimes.
It hurt that he would never be able to socialize again, that they never had the breakthrough they had worked so hard for, that their music had been stolen by someone they trusted, that the only good father figure he’d ever known only tolerated him because he was invisible, that his friends were finding other people and he was being left behind.
Life, well, death, just fucking sucked and Reggie hated it. Not always, just some days when the loneliness crept up on him and he had no one to turn to.
So he returned to the thing that had kept him going for most of his life, before he had his band, his new family.
Ballet.
First he went to the beach, like he’d used to, but the bike shack was a bitter reminder of what he had lost and the entire area wasn’t the same anymore. So he returned to the Molina house, which used to be the Willson house.
Ray sometimes listened to classical music while he worked and, since he couldn't see Reggie, it was the perfect time.
He started doing his stretches, before he moved on to the basic positions and some other steps. It was nothing fancy, nothing like he’d used to do, but it was calming. Just flying through the space with his eyes closed while memories played on his eyelids.
His mother beckoning him closer with a smile, the older girls at the studio who had adored him when he was younger, his dad at the piano in the living room, while he either sat next to him or twirled with his mother.
The good times.
Soon it became routine to do old ballet routines in the living room while Ray was working and he was sure none of the others would be home or just whenever there was no one at all.
It was pretty handy that he could phase through objects now and didn’t have to deal with pushing everything to the side, although clothes were still an issue. He had a pair of sweats and a tank-top though, but no shoes, so he had to manage on bare feet.
But it was nice, it was comforting, which meant it had to go to shit at some point.
Today had began not that great. Reggie had been awake, like every night, but this time it hadn’t been nice and quiet, just a reminder that he wasn’t alive anymore. He’d gone on a walk, but all the changes were also a reminder and the day had just been doomed from the start.
First he’d wanted to hang with the guys, but Alex had a date (totally not a date, shut up) with Willie and Luke had heard his parents talking about his cousins and aunt coming, so he was haunting them, leaving Reggie on his own.
He had searched for Ray, but the man was away on a shoot and Reggie was truly on his own in the house. Nothing that bad, he’d thought as he decided to dance for a bit.
Quickly poofing over to the garage, he changed into what he had dubbed his dancing clothes, before poofing back and starting up some Tsjaikovski while he did the warming up. He reasoned that if anyone came home, they’d think Ray had left his music on.
He had started with something easy, but he could do that from muscle memory alone, which wasn’t helping him with getting his mind of things. So the routines had gotten increasingly more difficult throughout the day as he forgot completely about the time.
Because he was so focused on jumping at the right beats and stepping in time with the music, he didn’t notice the door opening and the small gasp Julie let out as she watched him. Nor did he notice Luke and Alex poofing back into the room next to Julie.
They had returned to find an empty garage, so they had assumed Reggie would be hanging with Ray, instead they had found Julie staring at something while standing in the doorway.
With their curiosity piqued they had poofed there and looked to find the usually clumsy bassist flying gracefully through the room.
After a fast set of pirouettes Reggie stopped, the dance was over. He stood still for a few seconds with his eyes closed as he caught his breath only to get snapped out of it by the sound of applause coming from in front of him.
He snapped his eyes open and quickly jumped out of the end position as he squeaked: “How long have you been there?”
“A few minutes.” Julie answered, “But Reggie that was amazing! I didn’t know you could dance like that.”
“Yeah, me neither, that’s sick, dude!” Luke also had processed what he had just seen.
“Why didn’t you ever say?” Alex asked.
“Uh…” Reggie gestured to the air helplessly, before he tried: “Never came up?”
Lukes eyes narrowed as he spotted Reggie lying, which Julie caught onto as she said: “Sorry, was I not supposed to see that?”
Reggie rubbed the back of his head as his cheeks started to flush. He said: “I must have forgotten the time, I’m usually gone before anyone sees. Unless you want to count Ray, but he can’t really see me. It’s my own fault.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Luke pouted, “Don’t you trust us?”
“It’s just something personal. My mother used to have a studio back in New York, we danced together when I was little while my dad played the piano, you know, before they started fighting.” Reggie explained, unable to deny Luke anything when he pouted.
“Oh.” Luke looked sheepish, “Sorry for pushing, but that was insane, bro.”
“Thank you!” Reggie grinned.
“Wait, New York?” Julie asked.
“We met Reggie in High School, he used to live in New York before they had to move for his dads job.” Alex explained.
In the background Luke pulled Reggie into a side hug, as he asked: “How can you be so graceful and trip over your own feet while walking, dude?”
“I do not.” Reggie exclaimed.
“You once tripped over air, Reginald.” Alex told him with an eyebrow raise.
Julie now finally closed the door behind her and excitedly asked: “Don’t care how clumsy he usually is, can you show me how you did that?”
“Did what?”
“The dancing? Please, I’ve always wanted to try, but by the time I had outgrown my ‘I’m-not-like-the-other-girls’ phase I was too old to get good and get lessons.” Julie said, “Can you teach me the basics?”
“I mean I could, but I you have to warm up first and I don’t know how flexible you are.” Reggie replied tentatively. Julie cheered, before she raced up the stairs to get changed into better clothes for this, leaving the three boys behind.
“I’m sorry if I pushed you to share.” Luke said after a few seconds, “I didn’t want to force you to tell us that.”
“It’s alright, man.” Reggie said, “I mostly have good memories connected with dancing, it’s something I do when I feel lonely.”
“Do you- do you feel lonely often?” Luke asked with sad eyes, making Reggie realize what he had just admitted.
Reggie didn’t want to lie to him again or make him feel like a bad friend after all he had done for him, so he just said: “It’s been hard turning into a ghost, you know I love to talk to people.”
That was not completely false, Reggie had always been the social butterfly of Sunset Curve and the life of the party. Usually talking to twenty people at the same time, none he had known three seconds ago and he did miss that it just wasn’t the whole story.
Luke saw through the words and felt guilty about leaving his friend alone when he clearly needed company. Alex seemingly had an answer, though. He carefully asked: “You wouldn't mind me joining either, would you?”
“No, of course not. You need better moves if you’re gonna keep joining Dirty Candy.” Reggie grinned.
At that point Julie came barreling down the stairs, catching the tail end of the conversation. She said: “Luke, you have to join now too. It’ll be band-bonding.”
The other two snorted at the idea of bouncy Luke trying to do strict ballet and Luke paled. It was too late for him, however, Julie was set on it. So a few minutes later they were all wearing dance clothes as they cleared the instruments to make space for Julie in the garage.
They had done jumping jacks to get the blood pumping and had struggled with touching their toes and keeping them pointed when Reggie moved to the splits.
“What the fuck, Reg.” Luke exclaimed, hissing in pain as he failed miserably in doing them himself.
“I’ve been doing this since before I can remember, Luke. Would be a bit strange, if I couldn't do them.” Reggie laughed, it was nice to make some more good memories connected to dancing, now with his new family.
From where she was struggling with the split herself, Julie huffed: “What else have you been hiding from us, Reggie? More surprises in there?”
“I mean, I don’t know if I ever mentioned I also play piano and violin?” Reggie replied.
“WHAT!”
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