#ALSO this is all shit we already know if this starts up arguing again im gonna explode into a million pieces no one start shit

[jefferythejelly]

wtf is going on between dream and quackity??? I looked it up but I'm seeing so many different opinions from people 😓 what's going on and will I have to pick sides? I'm just so confused by this whole thing 😭

oh anon what rock have you been living under (and can you take me there)

this got kind of long bc a lot has happened and it's been kind of slowly building up over a month, and i kind of used this as an excuse to do something i've been wanting to do and make a rough timeline of events, so hope you don't mind the incredibly long post. it has certainly been An April (/neg) around here.

march 10th- quackity announces the big project he’s been teasing, the qsmp, a minecraft server with both spanish and english creators. dream puts out a priv tweet the same day saying he’s been working on something similar to collaborate with worldwide creators and he’s mentioning it bc he doesn���t want people to be worried about copying once it’s announced (this is foreshadowing)

april 2nd- dream announces the united smp and its accompanying live translation mod with a video and a tweet. small note here that the video was originally supposed to be an april fools video at first, which is why the international creators are skinned as the different manhunt members, but was delayed by a day bc editing took longer than expected. discourse starts near immediately as drantis are quick to accuse dream of copying q's idea of a multi language server

april 3rd- quackity announces that a new live translation mod is being implemented in the qsmp. copying accusations are now coming from both sides. note that it has been 1 day since the usmp announcement, so the chance that q actually developed a mod in that time is basically zero. also note that dream said he’d been working on the usmp prior to knowledge of qsmp’s mod being public. this is confirmed by snapchats dream posted later this month of camera roll screenshots of photos of a whiteboard with brainstorming for the usmp with the date march 8th visible, which is prior to the qsmp announcement. the point i’m trying to make here is that the most likely explanation is that it's a big damn coincidence

on this day there was also a brief copypasta started by george and sapnap joking about the similarities between the two servers (the first multilingual smp with live translation). george goes live with the smp from his copypasta tweet (slutsmp) and several ccs join throughout (during the stream its implied he basically @/everyone-ed the entire dsmp discord). he makes several shady comments but at this point its unclear if hes memeing quackity, the fans making drama out of the situation, or both

kind of skipping over a few weeks here bc its a lot of the same Nothingness but basically: discourse continues to spiral, egged on by the fact that dream has continued interacting with/mentioning quackity but is met with radio silence from the other side. there are a few clarifications from dream on twitter during this period that the qsmp and usmp are separate concepts and that he does not hold any ill will towards q

april 24th- while already somewhat assumed after quackity announced the qsmp's translation mod, quackity officially announces that the qsmp will be adding worldwide creators

april 27th- dream drops this thread which i highly recommend reading for yourself bc it gives a lot of context. tldr: quackity hasn't responded to dream despite multiple attempts to reach out, from both dream and other mutual friends. dream doesn't know what's going on with him but doesn't want any more hate to build between their two fanbases. he is explaining this because he feels he should explain his motives/give context as hate has built up to the point of irl threats to himself and his family's safety. he says that he is changing the concept of usmp slightly so there is less competition between the 2 servers and reiterates that he doesn't want any hate sent to quackity and that he's proud of all he's done

radio silence from quackity for this whole day, and then:

april 28th- quackity goes live on twitch. he says nothing about it and announces the new brazilian creators for the qsmp

and that's... kind of where we're at? q has continued being active on qsmp and social media and has said nothing, mutual friends are continuing to interact with quackity, and we've kind of reached a weird stalemate.

there's also some small bits of context that are more on the fandom side of things as to why a lot of ppl aren't supporting quackity anymore, so i'll (semi-briefly) try to explain those here:

during all this a mod on the qsmp was (rightfully) called out for including a mob that portrayed incredibly racist stereotypes of indigenous people. q did eventually remove the mod after public pressure but his apology/explanation of the situation was incredibly lackluster, and he didn't address any of the server members who made racist comments about the mob or after the mod's removal. this soured a lot of people's opinion of quackity/the qsmp in general.

second thing is just general vitriol between the two fandoms. qsmp fans/quackity solos were already being nasty at the start of the month, and that only built as the month continued. i saw at least one instance of a fan supposedly being doxxed and having someone show up to their house over the drama, and heard of ppl having gore/photos of self harm sent to their dms (so y'know. classic toxic twitter fandom bullshit). i will say that the toxicity has recently somewhat risen on the dteam side of things as well, with people being a lot quicker to hate on ccs still interacting with quackity and generally being super neg abt q (tho i can't act like some of that anger isn't slightly warranted. hell, i've been super angry over this and i used to be a super big fan of quackity). a lot of people are disappointed in q's silence over this whole issue and believe that it is quackity's responsibility to at least publicly denounce the doxxing/threats being made by fans in defense of him, especially as it's something that dream has already done, both prior to this situation and during.

as far as "picking sides" goes... a lot of ppl here on dtblr have been doomposting for a while, and at this point quackity is basically in no one's good books. at the same time, most of the rational people i follow have been acknowledging the nuance of the situation, and that a lot of mutual friends may be caught in the middle right now (shit dude, you're talking to a foolish main and that dude's still on quackity's damn server). there's also the matter of dream basically asking people to stop fighting, which at this point i am very inclined to agree with due to the levels of discourse and toxicity that we've already gone through, plus i think it's a better alternative than the community self-cannibalizing any time someone mentions quackity

ultimately it's up to you to decide what you want to do with this info and how much you want to remove yourself/unstan ccs, but know you aren't alone if you're sad/disappointed about how this whole thing has panned out 🫂 it has certainly been quite the Month around here

[anzulvr]

Hiii! Could i please request a karma x reader where reader is a crybaby and really sensitive but also super sweet to everybody no matter how mean they are?

Karma x sensitive reader // <3 // fluff, hcs.

In which Karma catches feelings for a crybaby.

— ୨୧ first meeting.

Karma and you get along well from the start, unlike most people in the main campus you don’t talk badly about E-class and you don’t make any judgements towards people without getting to know them- that’s especially important to note because Karmas never had the best reputation. Even so, you didn’t judge him based off rumors and comments made about him behind his back, earning you his respect!

— catching feelings.

Karma is the last person to be interested in dating, so whenever he starts getting all nervous and flustered around you he thinks he’s nauseous. He only realizes hes into you when he sees he’s sort of defensive over you, definitely brought to his attention by Rio(meddler) or Nagisa (He just wants to help).

✦ any time you’re upset he’s the first to ask who did something, super ready to fight anyone.

✦ He realizes he’s never wanted anyone to stick around as much as you.

—ʚ[End Class]ɞ

(If you were to drop to end class for whatever reason)

// first time meeting Korosensei you’re a sobbing mess.

Even then you’re trying to be nice telling him he’s not that scary (in reality you’re terrified because why is he like 10 feet tall..)

Korosensei frantically tries to get you to stop crying. “I promise I would never lay my tentacles on a student- I wouldn’t hurt you!! You can ask anyone in here I-”

Karma is laughing his ass off to the point he’s gripping his sides cause they hurt.

You get to sit next to him. Lucky (???) you.

The rest of the class is quick to warm up to you, if you’re not already friends that is.

— When you’re officially together.

Hes the biggest tease in existence, he can’t go 20 minutes without poking fun at you.

Has so many pictures and videos of you happy crying. (He will not let you live down.)

Also has a folder of pictures you send him whenever you’re crying over small / dumb things you find funny when you realize what you’re crying over.

(cause literally me too?? I’ll cry and laugh mid way when I realize how stupid it is 😭)

[Name]: we’re out of cookies.

[Attached image of you crying]

lmfao I’ll buy you some calm down💀 :[Karma]

[Name]: NVMM.. false alarm we have another box 😆!!

don’t care I’m at your doorstep with 5 boxes open up :[Karma]

[Name]: Wow you’re fast it’s only been like 3 minutes..

— <3 —

He brings up moments like that anytime he has the chance to embarrass you.

“Remember the time you cried cause you found out chickens live only like seven years.”

“Shut up it was really sad.”

“[Name] we had fried chicken like 20 minutes later and you devoured that shit.”

“That was so good, we should go again.”

ON ANOTHER NOTE.

No one is allowed to make you feel bad though, Terasaka is extra careful not to say anything to make you cry on days where he doesn’t want to end up on the ground.

You’re his go-to for advice. Especially if he’s ever arguing with anyone like his parents or his friends because you know more about emotions than he does.

Cannot handle seeing you upset because of something he does, the second your eyes even get the littlest misty he’s apologizing with food and flowers.

You hold a special place in his heart because often times you’re the only person he’s comfortable opening up to.

A/N: im behind on like 30 requests IM SORRY 😪😪😪

Also I didn’t really check for spelling errors for this one so tell me if you catch any pls!!!

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OMG hi…I really like your art and was wondering if you wanna be mutuals??????????? Also tell me about your MD ships :3c

honey we are dating- .....okay yknow what- HI PRETTY & TALENTED LADY- yess i will absolutely love toooo 🙈💕💕💕💕💕

also lets see uhhh okay this is an excuse for me to just... expload-

keep in mind not every ship is meant for all of you so dont badger me about stuff that ISNT CANON or YOU DONT SHIP. contrary to whatever you believe, when somone posts about THEIR ships, nobody wants to hear about you NOT shipping it on THAT EXACT post.

hang in there, this gon be a long one >:p

First off we are starting strong with Nuzi- Biscuitbites obviously thats a given- these two just have too much to be said about why and how they make eachother the best version of eachother, whether they ever became canon or not- they fit like puzzle pieces- they lessen eachothers negative traits by being their for eachother.

next is Vuzi- Violentviolet, they are my favorite kind of enemies to lovers 😔 but its also tragic smh. kinda pissed off at how V always does something good in Uzis favor only when she is LITERALLY PASSED OUT- either in the camp ep on the bus or in Alices lab. like damn ofFUCKINGcourse Uzi wouldnt know she cares about her 😭😭😭

envuzi- Violentbitingbiscuits, i love these goobers with all my heart- they deserve the best 😔💕💕💕💕

envy - [does this poor ship just NOT have an exclusive FINDABLE tag name??? im calling them GoldenMemories...], i like to think that if they were in the manor still, and nothing bad had ever happened, these two would be comforting eachother in the healthiest way possible. V needs someone like N and N is just adorable like that uwu

Next we have JxTessa/Jessa- [calling them Fancyblades cuz why not-] J deserves some closure for the shit shes gone through smhhh 😔, its a tragic yuri of J loving and wanting something she probably already accepted she couldnt have, and even then she gotta deal with Ns ass being the favorite one regardless of how hard she tries to be perfect... sighhh i wanna imagine them in a future where Tessa was spared as the only human and J could save her 😭😭😭😭 Tessa might have loved doing mechanical stuff or wore black to hide grease/oil stains on her clothes from her parents and wore gloves to hide her oily stained hands- i want her to have a scene of wiring drones back to life and saving them and saying something like "hey there, you made it! dont worry, ill take care of you, youre my friend now :3" or something //dies//, also before anyone says it- even if Tessa was a teen in the flashbacks- romance is not exclusive to ADULTS, teens can love eachother without having sexual stuff involved. no she was not their MOTHER figure, she was their FRIEND who liked to fix robots for herself to not be alone in a house where her own parents literally chain her up as punishment. i dont even know why im arguing about this, people headcanon or make aus about characters NOT being dead all the time and if Tessa was alive for as long as J thought she was, Tessa would have been a perfectly fine adult either way. so counting this, yes shes canonically considered an adult when Cyn tries to imitate an adult humans body 🙄 makes as much sense as everything else i guess-

next ones i got is NorixYeva/Neva- Solverlilies- i just think theyre neat 😭😭😭 and once again, like everything else in this franchise- they are tragic yuris 😔 damn liam im finding a pattern over here 🤨 anyway, i like to think they either got closer in the lab experimentations or were already close when they were working as WDs in the campsite area for the humans. obviously canonically they were probably straight or just not into eachother romantically- [Nori either u have the worst taste men or Khan just fucking lost it after you died-] but also on the other handddd.... they have 2 hands and they are robots, i want them to kiss like two barbie dolls and im gonna make them do just that-

DollxLizzy/Dizzy- Bloodypink, wost fucking ship names ever, i cant find shit on them with these tags and it makes me angry >:/ at this point 2/3s of my ships are just tragic yuris smh, Doll did not deserve any of the things handed to her, even if she went about doing some things the wrong way i wish Lizzy didnt just abandon her- but then again, Doll did kinda abuse Lizzys trust and Lizzy got scared of being close to a serial murderer so.... morality calls this a draw? 😭 im crying... i wish someone was there to help Doll... sigh... i like to think Lizzy would have waited for Doll to just come back at some point... oh well, thats why AUs exist :"3 //sobs in the corner//

DollxUzi/Dollzi- Bloodybats, this ship is so underrated to me... they could have been... so much more. but why weren't they? did Yeva abandon ever getting close to Uzi when she was a kid after Nori died? did Uzi and Doll just never play around together as kids when their mothers were so close? were they ever close and something went wrong as they grew older? at worst they could have been like sisters together, and at best maybe more than friends. i just dont know what happened here, like Yeva could have tried to keep an eye on Uzi, maybe Uzi could have found Dolls powers so cool before having them too- i dont know theres literally tons of possibilities- but if Doll deserved to be saved or cared for by anyone, at least one of them should have been Uzi... sigh.

ThadxV- Killingblonde, yall this is... the cutest shit... ever???? like from here on out we kinda go into the more or less crackship territory but these two are adorable- Dumbass yet wholesome jock boy that just wants to keep his queen happy 😔👌👌👌 He and Uzi would have so much to talk about on "crushing on literal murder bots that stabbed and almost ate us" its literally love at first stab smhhh 😫💕

ThadxSam- Smokyjock ???? for some fucking reason??? i dont know what my brain did here man- i just like the trope of someone getting under Thads skin- like pair up the healthy sports loving gym boy with the lazy but wholesome dumbass that does drugs or is always just sleep deprived and Thad is always trying to just... take care of his ass and make him take care of himself but he just WONT SMHHH-

okay some more or less crack ships down here:

ThadxN: it speaks for itself. its too adorable and youll go blind from the light of wholesomeness-

ThadxNxUzi: Uzi will die here from the overwhelming wholesomeness... oh bonus if its just a 4s polycule of ThadxNxUzixV i mean i know im pushing my luck but.... random crackships go brr- V and Uzi will complain but love their dumbass golden puppy partners-

ThadxUzi: i think they could have been close and Thad caring about her as a childhood friend turned crush sounds just too cute for me 😔

LizzyxUzi: another random ass rivals to lovers or some shit idk what this is, Lizzy would pay Uzi to kiss the fuck out of her i dont make the rules-

ThadxLizzy: in some cases where they are NOT headcanoned as siblings or cousins, i think they have a good energy of wholesome jock bf and girly queen cheerleader lol, Thad is just a good bf eitherway-

DollxUzixLizzy: the gals would not leave a single second of silence for the small gremlin i swear to God- [Uzi is gay as FUCK for her gfs, absolute girloser unit with her gorgeous but crazy gfs]

okay for the end i have some characters that arent ships but i wish they could have become closer as friends or work out their issues...

J and N- too much abuse and toxicity here, i wish they could talk together more and see they have a lot of things in common- maybe a full line of dialogue from J without threatning N in every sense of the manner would be nice for a change =_=

Doll and V- again, a bit morally ambiguous to ship a character with the murderer of your family, esp when said murderer hasnt expressed regret lmao, but i wish they could at least be friends... Dolls disdain for the murder drones pushed her to end up the way she did. maybe if she didnt do it alone she would have been alive by now. so i like to think what would have happened if she and V could have made up- not necessarily Doll forgiving her- but at least having the space to grow and understand why they did they things that happened.

Cyn and literally ANYONE- i want the solver to be SEPARATE from Cyn- i wish Cyn would have still existed somewhere down there and was savable- i wish this poor child AI had a happy ending to her by connecting with the others as ACTUAL siblings... goddamnit 😔

aaaand thats it for this fine ass day 🫡 yall are welcome to ask about any of these- boy the tags are gonna be.... a lot.

[urrockstar-xe]

sneaking out - t.c x fem!reader

posted jan 21st, 2024 10:50 am

@dingus85 asked : May I request a Tara Carpenter x fem!reader based on Cruel Summer- Taylor Swift where they have been sneaking out to the beach every night (scenario 5). This time they’re just being stupid, and reader accidentally confesses that she likes her. Somewhere in the fic Tara uses one liner 18.

im so sorry for the wait love, I hope u enjoy.

masterlist

not proofread

wordcount: 0.9k

It was Chad’s idea to have one big group vacation for the summer, a simple nearly 50-hour road trip from New York to California. A few weeks on the beach to help everyone recover from the first semester of college and some time for Sam and Tara to learn how to be away from each other again.

Every small-town kid needs a Beach Vacation, right? Well actually, your plans for the summer were to find a good job but just when you wanted to argue, Mindy pointed out that you could share a room with Tara, and Tara responded by clapping her hands together, smiling at you and

“We’ll have so much fun!” 

How could you say no to that?

Everyone had taken turns driving, except for Mindy, her job was to make sure everyone had enough snacks and to ensure you’d make it to the Airbnb in one piece.

You were lucky enough to find one on the beach, giving easy access to the water and the sand that Mindy soon found to be an incredible nuisance, Anika was enjoying the chance to dress up in different beach weather outfits and there was also the perfect spot to play volleyball which Chad forced everyone to do.

And then there were you and Tara, you had the same favorite part of this vacation and it was the late-night bonfires.

You had only one with all of you involved but the following night you both snuck out together to start up another one, and this quickly became routine for the both of you.

You couldn’t help but enjoy this silly game you were playing in your head even if Tara didn’t realize you were playing at all. Sharing a bed, waking up early enough to make breakfast, making the bed, and taking turns to shower after beach days just to sneak off and come back smelling like firewood. 

It was perfect for you, and maybe it was for Tara too, but obviously, you weren’t going to ask. 

Tonight was one of your last nights in California and none of you were ready to leave, except Mindy, who wanted to go home the first week. But of course, you were most worried about going home, everything would go back to normal and you could no longer live in your little bubble with Tara and her soft smiles and giggly laughs,

and your little sneak-out “dates” that were just for you and Tara.

But that just meant you had to make the most of it, which leads you outside sitting on an old beach towel next to the pretty girl, watching the pit of flames dance before your eyes. 

“I’m not ready to go home yet, I like sneakin’ out with you.” Tara’s voice caught your attention, turning to look at her as she spoke. She was thinking the same as you. “We could always sneak out together back in New York” You spoke in the same quiet tone, as if you weren’t allowed to speak louder than the sound of the sea.

Tara pouted, “It’s not the same, though.” Oh. You nodded in agreement looking back at the fire. 

“I wanna go swimming,” She said suddenly, standing up and taking off her sweater, well your sweater, you had let her wear. “Tara, you’ll freeze” You smiled, knowing she wouldn’t listen anyway as she was already walking towards the water, tossing her sweatpants to you as you laughed. 

You watched amused as she eventually made it to the water, she hesitated, “C’mon, my girl Tara Carpenter doesn’t back down from stupid stuff!” You called out in a teasing tone, hearing her laugh as she threw her head back before running straight into the water, “Holy shit!” she yelled, squealing as she resurfaced.

You laughed as Tara ran back up to you, soaking wet and gratefully thanking you as you put the towel around your shoulders. “That was so stupid” she laughed, shivering slightly as you rubbed her arms, laughing with her as you attempted to warm her up. 

“That is why I like you so much” You had barely noticed the words come out as Tara’s smile softened, staring at you with a tilted head and puppy dog eyes. “What?” Tara’s voice was quieter now, still having a slightly shaky tone as she was still freezing. 

“What?” you repeated the question, you could backtrack, sure but Tara wasn’t stupid, she wouldn’t believe that no matter how well you sold it she saw it in your eyes, 

you’re so screwed, you almost laughed.

“What did you say? You like me?” Tara’s grip on the towel tightened a little, that soft look on her face capturing you the way it always did. You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, not knowing how to explain yourself in a way that made sense but Tara spoke up instead.

“Come here and kiss me, dummy” She smiled, and you didn’t want to waste any time as your hands moved to her face and pulled her in, cold, soft lips hitting yours as if they were meant to be on yours. Tara abandoned the towel to hold your wrists. 

“You are so catching a cold,” You said through heavy breaths earning a sweet laugh in response.

“Yeah, but you’ll take care of me.” you smiled at that because obviously you would.

“Yeah, I will.” You said, Tara smiled back.

“I think I will sneak out with you back in New York.”

[velvetvexations]

Really love how every time I argue with people on here about how actually trans men do not generally have it meaningfully better than trans women, people avoid actually explaining their points or providing sources and start calling me a little boy. Very fun. Love that. It's so fun to be insulted for asking asking people to explain their point

No one can actually explain that.

rhea ripley is so hot. and for what

for me to be all Weird Trans Woman about her

Honestly as an non binary person, I feel more and more pushed out of the community with the serious adherence to the binary. "if you Id as this you MUST be this thing, you're you're a liar and a faker and you're hurting other trans people" that, and the denial of trans men's oppression. It's just cruel and bitter, and seeing other trans people go down this path is pretty disheartening

it's so depressing

Well, you see, it's not like saying they're transitioning from black to white, because OBVIOUSLY, just like race, your soulgender is immediately apparent to everyone as soon as you plop out the womb

lmao so true

(also I've heard soulgender is a Black thing and it should be spelled with like, a space or a hyphen? so I'm probably gonna do that from now on)

"Trans men are the White People of the trans community" Oh okay so yeah this is just "Ace people are the White People of the Queer Community" all over again huh Begging other whities to stop comparing race and gender like this, makes you look stupid as fuck

pls

Fascinated to know if the "All trans women are nonbinary" crowd also believe all trans men are nonbinary

you'd think so the way they insist trans men cling to being AFAB lmao

Went to check /-/'s blog and she's reblogging pro Chat-GPT and anti-copyright posts now

I'm tapping the sign.

as a nonbinary thing i feel like so much tma/tme shit just completely fucking forgets us like im not „occasionally mistaken as a trans woman” its a fucking coin flip!!!!!!!! my „AGAB” doesbt matter 2 ppl outside the the internet!!!!! all that matters is no matter what i wear no one wants me i their bathroom!!!!!

people don't even just hate you for when they mistake you for a trans woman anon they hate non-binary people AFAB too

i kinda feel like the discourse is becoming more mainstream now. im seeing a lot of trans bloggers who dont post much about trans issues making posts about it (usually along the lines of "can we be normal about trans guys please" which is nice)

good maybe the backlash will finally kick in

Idk if this is me generalizing but I’ve started noticing that headcanons of canonically male characters as trans women that get traction are usually skinny and have trauma or coded with anxiety or depression. Like idk if that means literally anything but just a weird observation I had

a lotta people on here literally define being a woman as when bad things happen to you lmao

I was looking at the Patricia Taxxon stuff (funny enough, did actually see you @ ed in deleted replies) and I saw the sentence “However, being discriminated on the basis of being perceived as a manly woman is just an adverse effect of transmisogyny directed towards trans men.” Which. Hey now. What about butch women. Like how does that not uniquely apply to cis butch lesbians, even if we ignore trans men entirely.

MAINSTREAM SOCIETY LOVES TOMBOYS

Man. It really sucks when a popular-ish figure you look up to turns out to be transandrophobic. Should have seen it coming ig. She was intersexist too, and those often go hand in hand.

well I mean it sounds like you shouldn't have looked up to her already lmao

IIRC from old drama, Patricia Taxxon also thinks toxic masculinity isn't a real thing that can harm men because it's just splash damage from misogyny and they should get over it, lol, so I'm not surprised if she's turned out to be weird about trans men

lmao literally just that radfem-libfem feminism-is-for-women comic huh

Tragic: local man forced to actually read Serano's writing for the theory he's trying to make even though the way she talks about transmasculinity and female gender nonconformity gives him a headache

F

[conanssummerchild]

i was just thinking about the look on down from the bridge moments in rick and morty bcs im obsessed with them and i started like way overanalysing shit (as always tee hee) so im posting it here

so like while both are following a really traumatising moment for one character that doesnt feel traumatic for another (morty being absolutely horrified seeing his own bludgeoned dead body, rick unphased, just another day in his life lol. and rick killing the man hes destroyed himself hunting for half his life and realising he doesnt feel any better, while for morty it was just another adventure) but then there's also differences, lets break them down >:)

sorry for the shitty image quality as always lmao

morty's look on down from the bridge moment:

okay so right before it starts the last thing we see is rick being very dismissive of how horrifying this is for morty

im not sure tbh if rick is really aware of how traumatic this is for morty (clueless little man <3) but morty does quite clearly express his horror and rick dismisses it, kinda showing how morty is often pushed to the side and ignored by characters on the show

next we see morty looking down at the corpse with his traumatised look and rick nudges him to get moving, instead of comforting him or smth

again showing that morty is like dismissed and kinda emotionally neglected, especially by rick, but also by other characters

the next bit is just him burying the body, just showing again what it is that has him in this dissociative state

pretty self explanatory

then, and heres where it starts to get interesting, we see morty watching his parents arguing

(sorry, hes not watching them in that specific shot but he does when the angle changes yk)

obviously he's having a Moment about them not being his original parents and how hes in a whole new dimension and no one even knows except him and his emotionally inept grandpa, but also he stands there for a good moment and his parents don't even notice hes there, they just ignore him

after that, we see summer and rick sitting on the sofa, rick watching tv and summer on her phone

morty just stands there and stares at them and summer doesnt even look up (we've already established rick isnt going to) its like hes invisible to the people around him

and then we just get a zoomed in shot of morty's horrified face aaand roll credits

(no picture attatched, sorry, i think we all know what mortys face looks like)

morty is highlighted here, the focus is on him for the audience, we are supposed to see how shaken up this has left morty. no one else is in the shot because no one elses reaction is relevant right now

also i'd like to point out that everything being done by others in mortys lodftb moment is completely mundane, beth and jerry arguing (pretty regular for them) rick just watching tv, normal tv not even interdimensional cable, and summer on her phone. none of this is special or different, this is an average day being ignored for morty, except this time he needs his family more than ever, but still nothing changes

mortys problem portrayed is that ppl dont value him enough or dont pay attention to him. his parents can be emotionally neglectful, he and summer don't have a super close relationship (in later seasons theyre a bit closer), and rick is, well... rick. he pretends not to care about morty, ignores most of what he says, dismisses his feelings, etc.

aaand moving on

rick's look on down from the bridge moment:

this contrasts morty's moment where he is not okay but rick ignores it bcs here morty directly asks if rick is okay and rick lies about it (if u look closely u can see his pants are in fact beginning to catch on fire /j), so morty is chill now bcs he believes him

morty then goes in for a hug (im not attatching an image, im sure you've seen it 100 times) and this is our first sign ricks lying (well i mean. apart from context clues) beacuse usually he would push morty away or complain or be awkward (like in fear no mort lol) or uncomfortable but he just remains completely passive, his expression barely even changes

morty then goes on to ramble excitedly about their epic adventure because rick said hes fine but very quickly mortys voice is drowned out and lodftb begins to play. here morty is blurred out of focus and the camera zooms into rick

okay, so preceding it we have morty asking rick if he's okay, to which he responds yeah (liar 🤨)

this is, again, different from morty's moment because while morty's issue is being ignored, rick is very far from ignored, his issue is that he just like goes through life and the people around him don't realise how much he's hurting. morty isn't seen at all, rick is seen plenty, but he's never understood, not really. does this make sense? idk

anyway, going on, morty keeps contentedly talking in the ship whike rick stares blanky ahead, but when he realises morty expects him to answer, he gives him a nod, since it's whats expected so morty wont think somethings wrong (also the cinematography of the broken ship really adds to the scene i feel.

again, the contrast here is clear, morty is like completely frozen in his scene, and no one notices or cares at all. rick on the other hand contines to go through the motions as he's expected to despite his strong emotional turmoil going on, which we as an audience can see

morty keeps talking as they get back home, but eventually does leave and go idk to bed ig, leaving rick standing in the garage, looking blank and empty

i couldve picked a better picture sorry i just. tell me he doesnt look like the pixar lamp here, im sorry lmao back to serious ok

so next we see him shutting off the power to his rick prime hunting room

this ofc shows its finally over, but the fact that they leave him stanfing in the dark there shows how he doesnt feel better or fufilled like he wished he would

okay, now we get to his family being shown, first up is summer, theyre sitting on the sofa much like in mortys moment, but morty isnt in this one and also summer is not on her phone (unusual) but watching a movie with has popcorn, and she seems happy, she seemingly asks rick to grab some drinks, which he does silently without even complaining (not usual for the whiniest man in the universe lol)

anyway here summer is more cheerful than usual, not just on her phone like she normally always is

next we see the two beths and jerry washing space beths ship, theyre having fun, laughing, messing around and spraying echother with the hose playfully, while rick watches from the window, away from them, actually right when the lyrics playing are "everybody seems so far away from me"

again, this isnt like mortys scene, where everyone is just having an ordinary day and not seeing how everything has changed for him or even looking at him, here everyone seems to be having a lot of fun, without rick, summer and morty both address him directly, but neither realise how Not Okay he is

and lastly we see the whole family at the dinner table, everyone is smiling and chatting amicably, rick is just sitting there still, not even eating. however, he is then addressed and seems to need a moment to zone back in, but when he does he grins and (assumedly?) cracks some kind of joke/says smth that makes everyone laugh (except jerry, who just looks kinda confused this whole scene lmao) and everyone goes back to their meals, rick also taking a bite of his own. however when everyone looks away, his smile drops again and cut to creditssss

the shot doesnt zoom back in on him now like it does for morty in his scene, because the fact that rick is not well has already been established now, instead the angle shows the whole family beacause the point is to show how everyones happy and think he is too because he's putting on His Act, so like the smile fades to show he is not okay but the angle and zoom stays the same to show that it is not seen or like understood to be that way. ykwim?

so here its portrayed that ricks problem is that people dont realise that hes hurting. he comes off as a jerk all the time because of how much suffering he holds inside, how much is going on in his mind (or i mean a lot of the time he just. is a jerk, but this isnt abt that rn), like when bird person tells morty rick is in great pain and morty says "come on bird person, rick isnt that complicated, hes jist a huge asshole" people dont realise it bcs of how much he struggles being vulnerable and talking abt his feelings but my boy is hurtingg :(, so this scene is kinda showing that they assume hes fine but really hes in a lot of emotional turmoil

idk im kinda losing the thread here but i mean i hope this makes at least a little sense, im obsessed with look on down from the bridge :3

[cozymochi]

🌻 >:)

IM FOUND ONE OF THESE MEMES IN MY DRAFts! Im gonna rank my experiences in the major fandoms i’ve engaged with.

🩵 YUGIOH! - Second longest running fascination. Upside!! Made life long friends. DOWNSIDE!! Was my first go at online engagement and in those 10 years so much happened that I still can’t help but feel a little sour. …Though ygo back in the day wasn’t good at tag comments, so I didn’t even know those were a thing for years until I branched out. 5/10. But grows to a 7/10 because i’ve settled into a niche area with so few people that it’s now a silly little club. 💕

🧡 Dragon Ball/Z - GENUINE CHAOS. Started off slow but intensified hard cuz get who got involved while Super was airing??? (I didn’t watch it lol), so the discourse and fighting was at an all time high. I have no idea how I even survived this in retrospect. My slight association with people netted me troll asks and my liking of Yamcha also set me up for those. …and frequent art reposting, and quite a few bizarre interactions. Pretty sure my art and edits have circulated more in latin america than I even know. This was also pre-tumblr purge so the amount of nsfw that got thrown my way is… something. That said!! Made also really good friends 💕 and DB/Z probably desensitized me to longer form discussions. 5/10 for insanity, but 8/10 for good reception and VERY PEAK and generous humans.

I think dbz hardened me.

💚 Invader Zim- started off fun (mostly irl with my friendo from days of YGO), but quickly devolved into territory that tested my patience. WHY ON EARTH THIS SERIES’ CONSUMERS had such a huge morality high ground base is beyond me. It’s this fandoms fault I learned about certain modern day online discourse terms and what instilled an irrational posting fear for a year lol. Fun at first and there’s super creative and receptive folk (then those people got kicked out) and left the most insufferable beings imaginable. There’s no in between. Shoutout to all 3 friends made who are still peak. 3/10, if I ever finish any remaining projects or decide to bite the bullet and show completed work, i’m not engaging again. The base just skews somewhere I can’t handle. Which is crazy given the ABOVE contenders have, on paper, done so much more.

dbz hardened me but iz weakened me. Which is probably why i need the formers bootcamp back. Don’t think I’m as fearful now, but i’ll still be salty.

💜 Twisted Wonderland - this is a work in progress experience. Will require further evaluation if all of the above experiences haven’t set my standards. Will stay in my corner. So far it’s 6/10 in vibes (they’re much calmer than the last one), tho I question how much of the interest is from what i do vs. what I did for others. Haven’t shared a ton of opinions yet and god knows lol we don’t want that /s. Still recovering from the former making me wanna just not do much. Baby steps I suppose.

💙 - Sonic The Hedgehog: This is a cheat, I have never interacted with the fandom directly (purely by happenstance, so thankfully no traces exist), but I have been into this since I was a child with no issues. So by default this is the best one. 10/10, didn’t engage, but I do lurk. Though all the stuff I see on tweeter isn’t exactly anything out of the norm for fandoms in general to do, so it weirds me out that people rag on this one for just kinda talking amongst themselves about innocuous things.

“omg this fandom is arguing over QUILL length ughhh can they never be pleased [30 yt videos about this drop]” ngl, this just feels like par for the course junk fandoms do. It really feels no different from DBZ where people go ham about the art style changes and which one is better. Or stupid shit in IZ where they fight about comics vs movie vs show. Like??? The only major difference here is that StH has more people in it (by the millions).

So literally nothing these folk do or say strikes me as anything more serious than what other fandoms already do??? Its just more outsiders see it then churn out content and perpetuate something worse from what’s honestly….pretty tame stuff. Maybe it’s just twitter’s setup given that’s all folk talk about.

[moon-quq]

Arataki Itto × Male!Reader

This was a request from a dear friend of mine, hope you enjoy! Guys don't forget I do take requests, I will deny them though if I don't know the character. Feel free to ask! Enjoy le smut <3

Warnings: Degradation, CNC, Itto is an asshole in this fanfic universe.

" Y/N go put the extra empty crates away, we need to clear the area before the rush in the evening. " Some burly dude with a mustache barked towards you, making you cringe externally but did as you were told none the less. The crates themselves were honestly light as shit since they were empty so you didn't complain much, not until you got to the dumpster area behind the tavern where someone you'd seen all too much was digging through garbage. " Kiro why are you digging in the trash again! I've told you that you cannot do that here.. If my boss catches you he will have both of our heads and you know I need this job! " Your voice wavered, shuddering at the fear of what could happen if you didn't get enough money to pay him back.

" I-im sorry Y/N I just really.. wanted some food and I know Mr Tab likes to waste a lot so I hopped I'd find some.. " Kiro whispered, her face slowly starting to fall while tears starting pooling at the corners of her eyes. You couldn't deny she was like a younger sister, but you hardly knew her at the same time. " Go on, get out of here. I've got to get back inside before Tabs complains again. " You could tell she didn't want to leave, the inner battles in the younger girls brain were arguing against her better judgement. " Hey, meet me at our usual place later, I'll get you some food,, okay? " You spoke softly in an attempt to comfort her which seemed to work almost instantly as she quickly nodded and ran back off, leaving you to chuck the crates and run back towards the tavern.

Backstory ➜

You grew up an orphan in Inazuma, always having to fight your way up the ladder for any sort of food, clothing, housing.. That was until you met the Oni named Arataki Itto. He and his gang offered to help you, in turn you do work for them,, this work however came with a contract that you consent you anything they tell you or do. You being the naive young adult you were agreed and just as your stupidity did, it got you into trouble.. Somehow you had managed to loose over 2 million Mora,, that belonged to the gang. So they made you swear to work your ass off to get it back or their would be consequences.

Present Time ➜

You had managed to collect half of the Mora you owed within a year and a half, working day in and day out for anything and anyone, no matter the price or sense in the job. The day you came to visit Itto and deliver the portion you had collected it was eerily quiet among the group, Itto was waiting in his room of the buildings while the others stared you down.

By the time you had reached the room itself you were absolutely terrified, scared and worried for what was going to be said. " I already know you are there. " Itto called, signaling that you could just step right in, the room smelt of flowers mixed with dirt and musk, it was pleasant in a sense but also weird for a man like Itto. " I brought the half I've collected, I still have to get the rest but I will I swear to it! " You shouted, standing as straight as you could while staring straight forward. The low rumbling of Ittos laugh however made you gulp. " I don't want the Mora anymore. I'll take the half and something else. " His frame that once was sat in his cozy chair was now stood directly infront of you, his height scary compared to you. " W.. what else could you want Itto? " You were terrified was an understatement,, the way the Onis eyes were dark but still had a red glare to them alone had you wanting to run for your life. " I want you. "

Time seemed to stop at his words, the adrenaline and fear in your body surged you to turn and run towards the door but he was too quick.. So easily dragging you back by your hips to press into his chest,, the feeling of his breath fanning down your neck had you whining to be set free. " Please.. anything but this- " You sobbed, hoping this was all a bad dream. " You consented anything could be done or told to you, And I've had my eye on you for a long.. time, so I'm going to have you. Here, and now whether you like it or not. You're mine Y/N. " Itto growled against your ear, causing a twitch within your trousers as well as a whine to escape your lips. " N-no. Get off me Itto. "

He was stronger in every way,, height, muscle, thoughts, will.. everything about him over powered you as you were pushed to kneel in doggy on the floor. " I won't hurt you too much.. Just have to ingrain in your mind and body that this.. is mine. " He purred, groping your ass before giving it a harsh smack that made you involuntarily moan out his name. " Oh? You like that puppy~? You like when I manhandle you like my own personal.. cumdump? " His degrading words left you speechless,, your fear being replaced by arousal as you felt your own cock pressing against your pants. " Itto.. " Your voice was quiet, so quiet in fact he didn't hear you at first until he had ripped your pants and shirt off in one swoop of his hand. " ITTO! " You whined loudly, turning over onto your back whilst your hands covered your aching cock. " Ah ah ah.. cmon pretty boy, show me that cock of yours.. " He cooed, tracing his hand along your thighs up to your hands before grabbing and removing them himself.. And by the gods the view of your scared shaking figure sprawled on the floor before him with an aching leaking cock all because of him was an absolute thrill that he couldn't get enough of. " Oh I'm going to ruin you. " Your body was now yanked upwards to sit on the kneeling Onis lap, the obvious buldge pressing against you making you whimper yet again whilst looking up into his eyes. " Do you want to do it yourself or do I have to? " Being given the option you quickly went with the first,, now reaching beneath you to push his clothes down enough to free his cock that sprang up happily to greet your puckered hole almost perfectly.. You knew you had no lubrication so this was going to hurt.. but you also couldn't deny and run away. " Hah! You thought! " He laughed before ramming upwards to sheeth himself in you in one go,, your eyes instantly rolled to the back of your head whilst you clawed at his shoulders. He wasted no time in letting you adjust, no time in letting you get your bearings before he was holding you up by your thighs to ram deep within you like a feral animal.. It hurt but felt so fucking good at the same time that you couldn't resist moaning his name like a filthy prayer. " That's right.. say my name, scream who you belong to slut. " He growled out against your throat, biting down harshly onto your shoulder while continuing to piston into you chasing his own high. " Ngh! IM G-gonna cum if you keep, doing t-that.. FUCK! ITTOOO~!! " Your cries fell on deaf ears,, no one was going to save you. With one last cry of his name your own release slammed into you,, your cum shooting out to land on his and your chest but he kept going.. until he started panting heavily against your ear. " fuck- Gunna breed that ass,, shit you feel so fucking good. " He slurred, thrusting balls deep before releasing his load inside of you., the warmth alone filling your body leaving you a crying, shuddering, whimpering mess in his arms.

" Told ya~.. You are mine. " You couldn't even bring yourself to respond,, or even think for that matter as your eyes fell closed and you drifted off in his arms,, cockwarming him into your sleep. " Don't worry pup, we'll have plenty more fun.. "

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 14: Yurak Gets His Pink Slip

Betrayal episode? I sure hope so

Yurak is heading towards Arus again, but surprisingly the team is already waiting Good for them, they're learning to plan ahead

THE CAMERA ZOOMED ON GREEN LION AND NOW I HAVE THIS SHOT OF PIDGE BEING A CUTIE AS ALWAYS LOOK AT HIM HOW ADORABLE

Are the lions actually mystical in the original? I swear they were supposed to just be ships, but I guess not because they growled a bit and looked towards Yurak's incoming fleet The pilots only looked AFTER the lions made noise, interesting

I get that they have to fill the more or less fighting scenes with some talking but did they really have to call out every weapon before an attack the lions are voice activated LMAO

WHEN THE HELL DID BLACK LION GET A CHEST LASER I FEEL LIKE THAT SHOULDN'T BE A WEAPON HE HAS BUT ??

Apparently that's all it took to take an entire battle cruiser down because that thing is GONE Yurak survives of course

Zarkon has a council under him?? Interesting

"You're a born loser, and you know how violently ill it makes King Zarkon to lose!" GODDAMN HAGGAR, I wish modern cartoons would stop pulling punches like older ones did

BANISHMENT FOR YURAK RAAAA And Zarkon slaps him for begging for mercy how fun

AYO LOTOR GETS INTRODUCED THIS EPISODE?? THIS IS GOING TO GET BOTH REALLY BAD AND REALLY FUN Rip to Allura though she gets no rest after this episode

Oh shit Zarkon actually hugged Lotor?? And gave him words of encouragement That's the only time we're seeing that lol

Lotor is now commander, everything is falling into place

Back at the castle, Pidge is teaching the mice acrobatics and it's very cute lol

An attack begins and Lotor is making demands, not even stopping when he sees Allura though he does have a slight interest in her Very weird compared to the obsession I'm used to seeing of him, maybe that's just a fandom thing

Every time I see horses in dotu I keep thinking of one of the voltron comics that had weird purple and earless horses to show the team was on an alien planet LMAO

DID KEITH JUST JUMP A FUCKING RAVINE WITH A HORSE?? WHAT KIND OF MINECRAFT PHYSICS IS THIS

"It appears we are evenly matched" "oh yeah?" "except when it comes to brains!" LOTOR PROCEEDS TO BASH KEITH ON THE HEAD WITH A ROCK AS IF THEY WERE CAIN AND MOTHERFUCKING ABEL

keith slams his face HARD into rock how is his nose not broken

Yurak is not banished but instead was made to do something worse, become a robeast rip my guy he's already dead anyway

"[yurak has] turned into an ugly monster!" "he always was one!" GET HIS ASS PIDGE

Allura find keith at the bottom of the ravine and obvs he wakes up because plot armor, also the horse is alive and found his way down to Keith so he can get to the castle, also plot armor lol

im surprised nanny even argued with keith so he could rest at the castle, i didn't think she actually cared about the boys at all

giant mech fight time! and they have cut off yuraks ears,, does that constitute as body horror? ok fight over he's dead

/episode end!

I thought Lotor would be his obsessive self but I guess it gets worse later in the show or something, plus I guess this is where his rivalry with Keith starts, not because of the love triangle but because Keith beat him at a sword fight

he wasn't sore about it though? maybe i'll see more about it later in the show

[turtleduck-inc]

so whats the plan, babe? like how much of a fetish does it have to be before we beat them up in the streets? are we only beating them up during library story hour, or can we catch them beforehand in the parking lot? do they have to be wearing makeup before we can dole out our vigilante justice? youre the boss, babe. do they have to be singing on a stage, or can we beat up the ones in the crowd as well? do they have to be wearing a dress, or can it just be any person we deem to be a man who dares to represent anything other than perfect american masculinity around our precious white children? actually, do you think we should beat our kids too if they start acting a little fruity? wouldn't want that shit to spread. im listening.

we all know what this is about, you're not bullshitting anyone.

every law you decry as being "anti drag" is very clear in only not allowing adult performances in front of children.

the only reason anyone would get up in arms about not allowing children getting involved in fetish performances - and mind you, i am not about to fuck around with anyone pretending that drag is not a fetish; we all know what gay men suggestively dancing on stage in lingerie with giant fake tits is all about - are people who want to groom children by way of involving them in fetish performances.

so we've already identified that you want children groomed, and i'm not about to pretend that i don't think child molesters and anyone who enables them deserve to be fed through a woodchipper feet first, the only thing that is left to discuss about this is the claim that banning children from drag events is inherently also a ban on drag in general.

because when you and your ilk complain that a ban against allowing children into fetish performances, what you are essentially saying is that grooming children is vital to drag. which means the thing you are arguing for at this point in time is that all drag queens are child groomers.

furthermore, you widening the net to saying that "people who groom and molest children deserve to be beaten until they are physically no longer able to groom and molest children" is a threat against all gay and trans people in general is, again, openly stating that all gay and trans people are by definition child molesters.

that's pretty fucking homophobic if you ask me.

[golbrocklovely]

Im so glad I found older snc fans because I was starting to think it was just pretty young fans who can’t seriously discuss their relationships and lives and content.

this got to be a very long response, so sorry in advance lol

what i find very interesting about fandom culture as it is now is that when i first joined snc's fandom back in 2018, i was on insta only and literally there were confession accounts on there. basically in a similar vain to here, ppl would dm the person that owned the account "confessions" or opinions they had about anything related to snc and then the account would post it, and ppl would talk in the comments about it. usually those accounts would get out of hand eventually bc ppl would send in a lot of mean ones that would end up getting the person that owned the account in trouble.

wow, things haven't changed lol

but i think what ended those accounts was at one point there was an account that talked about a girl colby was possibly dating at the time, and the confession was shitting on her, and then colby commented on that post and said the equivilant of "hey i get you guys have opinions and i love that you want to share them and i don't mind seeing them, but if they are hurtful or mean i don't want that in my life". and i think that solidified the end of confession accounts, at least in this fandom.

i also think there was a major shift during the pandemic where ppl just didn't want to see anything deemed "negative" so now ppl are hyper vigilent to call out those that seem to be doing anything not positive. which i can understand sometimes, but i think a lot of fans take things too far. both sides do this.

my thing is, i've always enjoyed seeing other ppl's opinions, even when i don't agree. especially when related to fandom stuff. bc a lot of what we talk about on here is meant to be light-hearted and goofy and not to be taken seriously. i mean for christ's sakes we talk about the girls colby may or may not have hooked up with. and mind you, we barely have proof of any of them ! so again, it's all supposed to be silly and not urgent, important info.

but i think the reason why a lot of fans, sometimes younger, don't like seeing conversations like this is bc they think it's inappropiate or goes too far or bc it's not ultra positive all the time, it's deemed not worth having. which i get. i won't argue over that. my thing is….. yall are having these conversations too, you just keep it in dms and gcs. and if you pretend that isn't the case and "no i would NEVER talk about snc like this", you're lying. or you're very foolish to think that not everyone else around you is doing the same thing. the difference is i allow these conversations to happen publicly on my page.

i think bc i also allow ppl, for the most part, to vent about snc and others related to them, i'm seen as agreeing with their opinion - whether good or bad. but that usually isn't the case, but bc i'm allowing someone to have a voice when they otherwise wouldn't, i'm deemed bad or a hater.

on twitter, i think a lot of the disconnect comes from this idea of younger fans vs older. i think a lot of the younger fans don't want to interact with the older, and that's totally understandable. god knows 16 year old me wouldn't have wanted to talk to someone a decade older than me. and vice versa. i think the issue that arises is that the younger fans see the older ones as… too old to still be here. they see someone my age and go "why are you still around, you should have left already" or that i shouldn't be on social media to begin with. that whole idea is funny to me bc i've been online longer than some of them have been alive (but please note i ain't saying that as a flex lol). i also think a lot of older fans make younger fans uncomfortable, especially on twitter, for being very…….polarizing. and i think the older fans see the younger ones as annoying. like younger siblings that just won't fuck off.

do i agree with either one? no. i don't see younger fans as annoying, for the most part. and i don't see older fans any different. i think a lot of the problems that have appeared over the years is bc of the pandemic; too many ppl stuck inside for too long with nothing to do, mixed with a terrible world getting worse, and now everyone just feels the need to be assholes whenever they can bc they're sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. and it's easier to take it out on one another in fandoms than it is to do it irl, but even that doesn't stop those from doing it.

i will note that there are a decent number of older fans on twitter in the snc fandom that make it very hard to be an older fan. like a lot of the ones that are on twitter say a lot of extremely sexual shit about colby. and look, i don't mind talking about that man sexually. but there's also a level to it. some of these women borderline write fanfics about him, but include themselves in it, and then all of that is one twitter. and that can be off-putting. i won't name names, but some just need to take it down a peg or two, that's all.

but that also isn't to say that younger fans don't do the same in some regard. i'm just saying some of the older fans take it farther than necessary.

i think there is a lot of nuance to this, and a lot of reasons why ppl act the way they do. i'm not trying to blame any one or any particular age demo, i'm just saying what i've witness and what i believe to be true. doesn't make me right however.

[romeowsblog]

The reason i cried that day and why it didn't stop .

I was on my way to pick up my brother, since my dad was busy so i offered, my mom wanted to visit her mother so i told her i will drive you there after i pick him up - two good things. I was doing good things, or at least i wanted to.

The next thing, an accident! A tractor hits the side of my car. Im shocked of course, i call my dad, im embarrassed, i try to hide it, im angry, i do nothing about it. - the car will take a week to fix , im told. Im frustrated. We get home, i decide to clean the stairs to do anything jist to get my mind off things. Im thankful for my dads support and sure things will be okay. I text my dad to ask what happened. My brother gets home with my car, he tells me they fixed it temporarily with a screw until they get the parts needed. Im frustrated even more because ibhave woork and i have to drive to uni and i dont know what im gonna do now and this is really not the right time, why me.

My dad calls me to explain the situation, he tells me they wont fix it until monday, and that i can drive to work with it in this state. I argue that it could be dangerous and that its okay, i can take a taxi until it's fixed. I fet yelled at for supposedly yelling and not speaking properly, i shut up after an "okay, you do what you think is good" because arguments and opinions are not allowed in this house.

I try to distract myself with a tv show and it works, until my dad gets home, he starts by yelling at me again and saying how he didn't like the way i spoke to him, i try to explain how i dont think driving to work would be the smartest idea and that it should be fixed asap even if it means me taking a taxi- i get yelled again because "do you see how you are yelling? Are you seeing yourself right now."

I shut up because i already feel dumb and hideous and every terrible feeling since this week has been hell already before all this shit and i have already been in so much mental and physical pain that i told no one about. My tears betray me. My parents stare at me as if im stupid. I shout "yes im crying "

"Why are you crying?"

" because i feel. Stupid, i have no idea what is going on and youre just yelling am i not allowed to cry"

"No, crying makes you weak, be strong. Why do you cry every time someone disagrees with you" (false i cry when he screams at me and i feel too weak to reply)

"I think i havent cried in front of any strangers, im allowed to cry at home, where else would i cry if not at home."

"Stop crying "

"Okay " i try and fail

My parents start talking about plans for tomorrow's lunch, im desperately craving a hug, soft words , qny type of comfort although i already know it wont come. Im the one who always comforts never the one being comforted. No matter the situation.

Dad turns to leave , i yell after him " at least dont go while youre angry at me"

"Im not angry, why would i be angry" he shouts again.

"Im just really frustrated and i know the accident is not my fault and i know i dont understand cars but id really like to understand "

Id also really like a hug but i think id pass out if i actually said these word out loud.

Dad leaves, mom acts as of nothing happened. I go to my room and cry , nobody checks on me, nobody asks, its ok. Im used to this but it still hurts. The next day my family acts as if nothing happened and at first its difficult but then i try to do the same. The third day im in pain, physical pain that is unrelated, so i refuse to go somewhere with me and i get yelled at because "we didnt always have cars, every time something happens to your car you treat us like its our fault" and "look at yourself in the mirror"

And im just so tired. Would it be too much to ask for someone who genuinely cares about me and will hug me when im sad without judging? I face so many tiring things daily things i really want to vent and speak about with someone but then i realise there is no one who would listen to me and genuinely care and will not end it with a lecture or cut to their own story and jist ignore me. I want to talk about my life but theres really no one to talk about t with.

[rikkami]

Whoa didnt think id do this ever, personal, venting about life, relationships and shit.

So uhh.. My girlfriend broke up with me. Funny how I made blog posts about her a few weeks ago and now we are here. The few past months I had noticed she wasnt as interested in me as she previously was and we had our share of issues (not fighting or arguing but like, she had a hard time reciprocating my feelings sometimes.) and turns out, she's a lesbian. Another one of my girlfriends turns out to not like men, it was funny the first 2 times but the 4th time it just hurts. Extra cherry on top, I came out as a woman to her slightly over a month or so, obviously I still am male presenting so its understandable that if you dont like men or feel any attracting to them the same goes for me, but uhh, something about that hurt even more. She truly was someone I could trust and talk to about everything, my best friend ever since I had a harder time keeping in touch with my highschool friends. We did talk about life and everything, nothing will probably break our friendship unless its me fucking something up again (it has happened before with other people). We made a promise to each other that if it gets too hard to be with her for me I'll tell her and if at anypoint during my transition she starts being into me again, she will tell that to me, that we would keep everything out in the open, but theres no reason for us to commit to what 4+ years of nothing. We'll continue cuddling when watching movies because we both like human touch etc, I just hope it isnt too much for me. And deep in my heart I really hope its just the physical part of me that she couldnt fall in love with and at somepoint we can return to how we initially felt. But going down that path is not I want to put myself on again, I know how it goes already. But I truly do feel lost because despite being in another relationship of 7 years before her, I dont think I've felt this much attraction since I was in love with a long time highschool friend of mine, and thats more than 8 years ago. Theres like only 3 people who might read this, so at the sametime I guess its my way of telling whats been down with my ass since I really dont do that ever. I still havent started transitioning, trying to get in contact with my doctor has been a fucking hassle, but my legs are epilated and im smooth as fuck boy. I'm any/all, always has been, because finnish language doesnt have gendered pronouns i dont care. New name will be a finnish variation of Rika-Lily Jenny Riikka coming from my mothers name (its a long story but she doesnt use that name) Lilja has an even more personal meaning that would take even longer to explain, but also apparently its the Yuri flower (i did not know) so uhh this ex teased me about that and we had a good laugh. oh and the boring part, Jerry, Jenny, its too easy.

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

i wasnt made for long distance. seriously. it's only been 3 weeks and i'm already over it.

i think part of it is that i know i like you more than you like me. i could text you all day every day and probably never get tired of you. i know my life shouldn't revolve around you and it doesnt. i just want attention. i trust you. and i believe the things you tell me. idk, i guess im just scared you'll stop liking me. its happened to me so many countless times. everything is fine until its not and then im broken. for years. and one could probably argue that's the trust part, but it's not. i'm not really scared you'll meet someone else, it's legit you getting tired/bored of me. no one else has anything to do with it.

i've been second fiddle a lot in my past to guys i would legit do anything for. i was never the first choice. or i was for a bit, and then i wasn't aka i never was. but i always take longer to move on. not with jake of course, but with everyone else. ryan moved on and i was still clinging to our past.

idk guys, idk what it is. i'm so confident in myself until i'm not. charlie broke up with me over a fucking text message. the guy i was head over heels for in JH kissed me and then later the same day asked this other girl to be his gf and then they dated for like 3 years. a guy broke up with me almost on my birthday for not taking his virginity. and don't even get me started on the situationships - so many that i really have no one to blame but myself. i have been through some SHIT. i need someone around to show me they love me and want to be with me.

the time change is fucking kill me. and the shift work. this honestly doesnt even feel like a relationship. and the worst part is idek what would make it feel like one. idk how the fuck to do long distance. i seriously don't. we can barely find time to talk over the phone or on video. we facetimed for almost 2 hours last weekend and that was so nice.. i just fucking want that more. like cmon maybe twice a week? is that so hard? i know youve also been working nonstop with no days off and switching shifts etc. idk i guess i'll see how things go when you have some days off coming up. what happens. how often youre actually gonna talk to me then. i know im being dramatic but ya. this is who i am take me or leave me.

honestly, the only thing that's keeping me sane is that you're the only person on this entire planet i would do this with. straight up, would not, ever, do long distance with anyone else. and what's more, i don't want anyone else. the reason i'm doing this, that we're doing this, is we want to be together. no matter the distance. no matter the time change. neither of us want to be with anyone else. and even though it's fucking hard, we're doing it. together. and even though i know it feels like its me against everything right now, i know you're in the same boat and you hate it just as much as i do. its just fucking hard. really, really hard.

lol, only 59 more days until i see you again. fucking christ of fuck.

[zaptrap]

i also want to ramble a tiny bit abt jay becuz yolo lmao it will also be under the cut (it's mostly replying to stuff u said) (sorry if there's typos)

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

DUDE SAME LIKE i barely even thought of jay and then ONE DAY something just? changed?? and ive been obsessed with jay ever since (i wanna say it was either ep8 or rebooted but honestly who knows at this point). like i still love cole, and my 2 favs being besties is so cute 🥺, but jays just like a lil rat and i lov him... Although I do wonder if my favs would be different if i'd gotten into the show at a different time, like if i'd had more time with newer seasons and less nostalgia chaining me to the older ones lmao.

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground)

I FORGOT THYE DID THAT TO LLOYD LMAOOOOO THAT POOR KID.... THAT WAS PROBABLY THE 3rd MOST TRAUMATIZING THING FOR HIM AT THE TIME, after his mom leaving him and his dad becoming lego satan

but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

dude i love characters who put on a mask/act to hide their problems its so fun digging into why they do that and whats the mask and what isnt and what masks are used for who and how people react to them and etc etc

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT

jokes on you we ARE TALKING ABOUT THAT, MUHUAHAHAHAHAHA. my personal headcanon is that he just mellowed out after getting older and engaged lmao. or maybe its just his ✨latest persona✨ he's trying out or smth. the whole uwu-jay thing is really funny to me cuz both "whiny comedic relief bastard" and "uwu babu" are some of my fav archetypes in characters so the fact that jay gets to be both is like "yay! 2 cakes!" LMFAO. it was fun seeing him be a lil shit again in DR tho

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

(netflix is so annoying dude like omfg)

i don't have any comments on the skybound-to-prime empire pipeline stuff, its all interesting stuff owo. emotional security+role model arc...

Also how was [jay] supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

Jay: ugh parents SUCK am i right? Everyone else: you have parents?

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

LMFAO what ep was this from, im assuming skybound?

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

you're very welcome! now make another 🔫/lh also i like how you wrote an entire additional essay in the tags LOL. idk what season lives rent free in my brain but its probably rebooted cuz...well yknow 😂. i like the scifi seasonssssss

---

I do wonder how Jay's gonna be in DR though like, he went from "insecure bastard" to "actually im ok" to "stuck in an eternal office" so like, is he gonna relapse?? does he just need some fresh air?? is nya gonna show up and all his problems are solved??? is he just, still ok but tired from gaming office "work"???? who can say. dude though, with nya already being sora's mentor, and jay already being an inventor, i could totally see them eventually just being her new parents. that'd be so fukin cute 🥺🥺🥺taking in a stray cat

god like there just isnt enough to definitively determine what's up with jay in DR. theres SO many reasons he could be ornery, between the office and annoying coworkers and presumably not seeing nya for what, 5 years????????????????????????????? wait has it actually been 5 years, icr if they ran into each other sooner or not. i think nya said smth about- ok yeah she did [DR1 ep4]

dude what happened to her the past 5 years

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[whataboutsteffanfics]

Trails of fire - Chapter 4

Zendaya Pov

after the long day she had she was so tired she immediately wanted to go to bed and sleep, but there was going to be a big chance she was gonna see Chris and he is the last person she wants to see today.

she pulled up in her driveway and got all of her stuff out of the car. she walked in to the house and heard the tv from the fronts door.

as she walked further she kept praying that it wasn't Chris.

'hey' she heard when she walked into the living room

'shit' she whispered

she turned around and give him a dry look and tried to walk to the stairs as fast as she could but chris stopped her in her tracks by softly pulling on her arm

'what do you want chris im tired' she said without looking at him

'i just wanna talk to you, you have been moody lately loosen up man'

it took her a second to realize what he just said. she turned around and looked at him as if he had just lost his damn mind

'me moody... i know you just didn't say that to me' she said with attitude

'what do you mean, im just stating fact, come sit down so we can talk for a bit'

'yeah no'

she tried walking up the stairs again and got stopped by chris again

'what is your issue' he said with a hard tone

'first of all lower that tone i aint your child, and second you gotta stop asking me what the problem is, now are we done?'

'no im not done, im just trying to figure out why you are so mad all the time, every time I come home you already in a mood and i didn't even do nothin'

she raised her eyebrows and thought about what she was going to say without regretting it

'listen, i just came back from a peaceful day, that is why zink took the kids for the week to give me some peace, and now here you come talkin about my ass being moody, i dont feel like arguing with you. so if you dont mind my moody ass is going to lay down, so that i can take care of MY KIDS in the morning, thank you very much.' she said and walked up the stairs

he followed her upstairs to their bedroom

'what do you mean MY KIDS , why are talking as i dont take care of my kids, you dont make sense' he said

she ignored him and continued to do her thing on her phone

He took the phone out off her hands and threw it on the floor

'are you crazy!' she picked it up and saw a couple of cracks

'i was talkin to you'

'so just because you were talking doesn't mean you should throw my phone you dumbass'

"Ay man stop cursing at me, you gonna answer my question?'

'no, go figure it out, how about that' she said

'you know what you can also do is get the fuck out cause your pissing me off, and isn't this the time you rather go hang out with your friends anyways' she said and pushed him out of the door and locked him out of their bedroom

Chris Pov

'pfff' he huffed as he was standing by their bedroom door

he decided to let this stupid argument be for what it is

he went to each of the children's room and gave them a kiss before he left to go to the studio

when he arrived at the studio, he immediately went to the booth to record.

but he was making mistakes every time he tried to sing his songs

he didn't even notice that his best friend come in who stopped the session

'ayo chris take a break man'

chris took off his headphone and got out of the boot, his producer walked out of the room so that he could give them space to talk

'wassup man you haven't been good these last couple of weeks whats goin on?'

'man...me and the wife haven't been good lately.. im not getting through her'

'what's happening?'

hey starts telling his side of the story

after a long day at work all he wanted to do was go home to be with his wife and the kids

"hey queen" he greeted her with a kiss

"hey babe I gotta show you something in the kitchen" she said with excitement

she took his hand and brought him to the kitchen, he saw a bag with balloons attached to it

"oooh a gift for me" he said like a little kid

"hahaha yass, now open it please"

he took all of the colored paper out of the bag and saw a red box in it, he opening the bag and saw a shirt and another small box in it. he decided to open the box first and saw a pregnancy bag, his eyes went big ad he looked at her, he then took the shirt and read what was on there

"baby..are..you" he couldn't even finish his words

"yass we are having another baby" she said with tears in her eyes

he came up to her and hugged her, he was so happy he couldn't believe that they were having another baby

he pulled up her shirt and started giving her kisses on her stomach.

a couple weeks later

Chris decided that it was good idea to go on a date. they got ready for their date and waited for his mother to come so they could leave.

Chris heard the doorbell ring and went downstairs to open the door

"hey hun" his mother hugged him

"hey mom"

his mom went to hug they kids as Chris waited for Zendaya to come down so they could leave. after a couple of minutes she came down stairs

'ooh you look hot' he took her hand and spins her around

'thank you' she said and blushed

she greeted her mother in law and they left

they was enjoying themselves at the restaurant, they talked about everything. they talked about the baby, new projects, the kids ext.

when they arrived home Daya started to feel cramps, but this one was different it was something she hasn't felt before. as the time went by they became heavier, she told Chris and they asked his mother if she could stay longer and would tell her everything later

he carried her to the car and drove her to the ER

they went inside and helped her, he waited and prayed that everything was okay. after waiting for 1 hour the nurse took him to her room so that he could see her.

he went over to her and gave her a hug and at next to her on the bed

the doctor came to her room so he could talk to them

"is the baby okay" they both asked

"so we have done some test and we have done an ultrasound to check everything and unfortunately the baby didn't make it im sorry" the doctor said

when he heard these words, he felt like his world was ending. he couldn't handle the pain he felt. he felt like somebody took something away from him and thats when everything went wrong

Chris started to work more to get rid of the hurt from that event, and she talked less. they never talked about that moment because of how painful it was. they started to see each other less, they was always fighting and haven't had a normal conversation since..

'wow man thats a lot, yall gotta talk fr fr cause this is not good, and not only for the 2 of you but also for the kids man'

'i know, but i dont even know if i can go back to the house man she send me out' he said and took a sip of his water

'you can always stay at my house, that ain't no problem'

'thank you man.. i feel like going out, you in?'

'yh but you better dont do things you will regret, cause my ass aint finna be responsible' he said and they left

they were havin fun, well chris was having more fun as he was a little drunk

they were just chilling in their section when a girl tried talking to chris, he kept ignoring her.

he stood up to leave, cause she was starting to piss him off.

he walked to his car and she followed him

'what do you want man' he said irritated

'just give me your number and a kiss and i will leave' she said seductively

'hell no im good' and tried to get in his car

just when she saw a paparazzi she took her chance and took his face and kissed him

he didint kiss her back and pushed her away

'why would you do that man, whats you issues!' he said angrily

he got in his car and drove off

'shit!' he huffed

he drove to his friends house and thought about what he was going to explain to his wife....