#ALSO THE MARK BEING HIS NAME WAS SO FUCKING COOL I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ON WHAT DEATH OF THE OUTSIDER COULD HAVE BEEN 😩

[wormnamedwax]

chat is it crazy to use the ship you’ve had for years as a makeshift funeral pyre to burn your pseudo dad(???)/mentor that you met up with to kill a god after you betrayed him 20(?) years ago

[just-some-random-blogger]

Death By Bagel

NCT Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.

R E Q U E S T my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers

A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE

“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.

Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”

Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”

The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.

When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.

“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.

Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.

The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”

Unwilling, she shakes her head.

“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”

With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”

“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.

At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.

“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.

“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.

The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.

Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”

Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”

All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”

It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.

And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.

... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.

“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.

"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.

"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.

I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."

Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.

"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."

"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."

Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."

The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."

I turn to him and elbow his side.

"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."

Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.

I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."

"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.

I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.

Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.

"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."

I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."

Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"

"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."

Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."

I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."

Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"

"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."

Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."

"Okay, maybe not that cute."

"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.

I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.

"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.

Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."

Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"

This makes me knit my brows.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."

Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."

"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."

Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."

Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?

Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."

I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."

"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."

I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."

I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."

Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."

"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."

"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."

Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."

He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."

"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.

Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"

Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."

I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"

He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"

"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."

"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"

"A gullible idiot maybe."

Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."

Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.

But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.

"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.

Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."

"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."

Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"

Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'

I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."

"Of being a fuck boy?"

Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."

Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."

I raise a brow.

Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."

"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."

Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."

"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."

Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"

"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"

"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"

The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.

I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.

"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"

"BABE?!" Mark barks.

I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"

Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."

Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."

Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."

Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."

No one really responds.

We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.

"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.

I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"

Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."

I knit my brows, "what? Why?"

Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"

I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"

"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"

"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."

Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."

I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"

"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.

I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."

Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."

I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."

"Loser."

As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.

There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.

He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.

He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."

I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"

"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.

"I made you two this time," he smiles.

I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."

He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.

Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."

I smile, "thanks. I made it."

He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."

I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.

"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"

"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."

"..."

"..."

Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"

"... Uh..."

He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."

I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."

I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."

"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."

I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."

I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."

"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."

Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."

I shrug, "worth a shot though."

Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."

Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.

Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.

"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.

"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."

"How many lives do you have?"

"9, I'm pretty sure."

I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."

Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."

"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."

"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."

I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"

Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."

I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."

Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"

I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."

He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."

Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."

I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.

Wait... was this really happening?

Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."

My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"

He looks like he's about to throw up.

I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."

I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."

"We could have dated in grade school all this time."

It takes a moment to register in his head.

Like, a really long moment.

I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."

He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."

I break into a laugh.

"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"

I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."

Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.

He is dumbfounded.

I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.

"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."

Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."

[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!

[erensnubs]

𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕

Oikawa x F! Reader

Chapter 3

Word count: 1.7k

Random posts:

"So… Sho how's school been?" You ask him as you're pinning up Natsu's hair into "fairy braids".

They were essentially little flowers braided into sections of her hair.

Sho looks occupied. You think its his volleyball team.

"School's okay I guess. But volleyball is SOOO COOL! I NEVER KNEW YOU AND DAICHI-SAN, AND ASAHI-SAN AND SUGAWARA-SENPAI WERE CLOSE?!"

You start laughing, "Sugawara senpai what?!?"

Shoyo looks at you quizzically, "What do you mean? That's what he said to call him."

You giggle. God that man is too funny, you think.

"Okay enough about my upcoming volleyball career," Shoyo says while you roll your eyes.

"How's your manager life?"

You shrug your shoulders as you delicately place a flower into Natsu's hair.

"Well, me and the captain are on good terms now. And I think I'm somewhat friends with people on the team," you say thoughtfully.

Yesterday, you and Oikawa studied over the weekend at the coffee shop. It was surprising for you to see the proud captain turn almost submissive when you studied with your project together and when you talked about volleyball. You knew in the back of his mind he still felt bad about the way he mistreated you, but now you were fine.

"Well guess what? Daichi-san and Asahi-san want you to go out with them sometime! They miss you," Shoyo adds.

When you first came to Karasuno, you quickly became friends with Fuki and Riki. You were your own separate group, the artsy bitches who liked editing and drawing random shit, making concept art and scribbling doodles on each other's papers.

Then one day you decided to sit next to the shy boy-man? Man-boy? The boy with the man bun? Whatever. You decided to sit next to him during lunch, because your regular seating area was taken.

Next to the man bun boy was, stoic boy and beauty mark boy.

You didn't know that these boys were going to be the next best friends of your lives.

There you formed a friendship with three of the sweetest men you've ever met in your life.

It started off with talking about how brown is actually a good ass color, then to how the school lunches could have better milk, to groaning about essays together.

To them supporting you with your family, and you with volleyball.

"You're so stupid Riki!! Its the answer B obviously!!" Sugawara says slamming his hand on the lunch table.

You and Daichi start giggling as Riki rolls her eyes.

"What if it's not B, huh Koushi? What if it's actually C?!?" Riki retorts.

You chuckle with the memories of lunch arguments, walking together, and trips to the city with each other.

Later, you helped Daichi find a manager for the volleyball team, Kiyoko Shimizu and later became a friend of yours.

You never wanted to admit it but all of them became a found family, a fantasy that you recreated in your head over and over when you spent time with them, just because of how fucked up yours was.

You loved Suga's laugh and the way he held you while you were boisterously laughing about something stupid, but you hated the way that you knew that it was something friends did. And not what family did.

You loved it when Riki, Fuki and Shimizu came over and did your face with makeup because it made you feel like you were being pampered by aunts and sisters you didn't have.

When Asahi and Daichi constantly checked on your wellbeing, even until now, when you moved schools for Christ's sake. It made your heart clench in pity, because you know this is the closest thing to parents checking up on you.

The sad thing is? Is while you're over here playing found family, the rest of them were just doing something that friends do.

That's why you distanced yourself from all 4 of them when you moved schools.

But Shoyo, he had to remind you about them.

"Yeah.. I.. Uh… I miss them too," you say slowly, braiding the rest of Natsu's hair.

Natsu leans back against you and hands you your phone.

"You don't wanna play minecraft anymore?" You ask.

She shakes your head, "No Kiyoko is calling you!"

She waves the phone in your hands and you feel the vibration of the call.

Oh god, did Kiyoko figure it out?

With shaky fingers you pull the phone from Natsu's grasp and answer the call.

"Hey Kiyoko-"

"I'm outside your house…"

You sputter your words out, "What?!?! Kiyoko?!"

"I'm waiting for you so we can finally go out together."

She pauses.

"Just you and me," her soft voice carried comfort to you.

"Okay… I'll go soon. I'm outside with Sho and Natsu," you say picking yourself up and turning off your phone.

You wave goodbye to them and gesture with your other hand to the phone.

Shoyo gives you a thumbs up and goes back to playing outside with Natsu smiling.

You run back inside and grab your shoes and jacket and throw them on. You flung the door open and see Kiyoko Shimizu in all her grace, beauty and splendor.

"Kiyoko-"

She grabbed your hand and pulled you close to her chest and squeezed you tight.

"Me and Daichi were scared, you know. We all were. Very worried about you," she starts off quietly.

"Tell us, [Name], when something's wrong. It hurts us when you don't."

You sink into Kiyoko's arms and relish the feeling of them.

"I will. I'm sorry for not doing that."

She pulls away and gives you a soft smile, her beauty mark perking up.

"It's fine [Name]... Now get in the car! We're gonna go eat out today!"

"I'll have meal 1 please," you tell the waiter.

"Meal 5 with a side of tofu as well," Kiyoko adds.

The waiter leaves and now it's just you two You were at the ramen shop near Seijoh.

Which just so happened to be the Ramen shop that was close to the convenience store near Seijoh.

The convenience shop that you and Oikawa went to.

You shake your head to get him out of it.

"Uh…You okay?" Kiyoko said questionably.

You wave her away, "Yeah I'm fine. Just remembering something weird."

She leans forward,"Hmm okay. But hey. Heard you became a manager at Seijoh.. You trying to one up me or something?"

She smirks and you scoff.

"Kiyoko please. I learned everything from you. I don't know how I would manage this great team without your prior knowledge I would have never survived," you say.

You sigh and look up, "They're one of the best in the whole prefecture and I'm in charge of them. The pressure is real."

Kiyoko pats your hand affectionately, "I bet. I mean Oikawa and this other dude from another school have been butting heads with each other ever since middle school. It's his last year so Oikawa is probably incredibly stressed."

You raise an eyebrow, "I mean Oikawa has been a little on the edge, but I didn't know it was from some dude since fucking middle school."

"Yeah. Ushi-Waka from Shiratorizawa. He's also from a powerhouse school. The best in the prefecture. They've gone to Nationals, multiple times. Ushi-Waka is in Japan's best under 18," Kiyoko says softly, like she was passing secret information to you.

You not, sipping your water as you let her continue.

"Oikawa has always been beaten by Shiratorizawa and has NEVER made it to nationals. Once! So this year is his last year, he gets 2 chances and then poof!" Kiyoko says.

Her hands are in a circle and they suddenly break.

"Bye bye volleyball career."

You were taken aback.

No, you were stunned.

You always knew Oikawa was determined but God, this puts it on a whole nother level of determination. You wonder how stressed the team was when Oikawa supervised. Or vice versa. You wonder how stressed Oikawa was when he supervised.

Is that why Iwaizumi encouraged you to book practices with college volleyball teams? Probably. The more practice the better, you remember him saying.

Oh and how could you forget the dark circles under his eyes.

You lean back and exhale, "Wow. I feel horrible for not knowing."

Kiyoko sighs, "You should know as a MANAGER, but didn't you have a rough start with him?"

You nod and recount the events that took place as the waiter sets down your food.

"But that was yesterday so I guess we just started our 'working relationship'", you finally say.

Kiyoko lets out a low whistle, "Looks like you got your work cut out for you sweetheart. Our team is in the works."

Her voice drops lower and she grins evilly,

"We'll beat you, [Name], I have hope for this team."

You grin back, "We'll see about that."

The two of you talk back and forth about other things for a while, laughing about the dumb shit Sugawara pulled and the new students.

You pause, "How's Hinata doing? I don't know if you remember him but he's a family friend."

Kiyoko smiles, "He's doing wonderful. Had a rocky start with another 1st year but they're friends now."

"Oh I remember him telling me that. Kageyama?"

"Yes. He was a middle school prodigy. Came from the same school as Oikawa and most of the Seijoh players actually," Kiyoko informs him.

"Huh," you say mentally noting that fact into your mind.

"Anyways, I'm glad we…you know. Got to talk. Hopefully we can go and hang out again with the others," you say as both of you clean up your table and walk out.

"Same. But Karasuno is gonna beat you at the practice game next week," Kiyoko says with a wink.

"Pfft Seijoh will wipe your asses over the gym floor," you say.

You're in your bed, covered in blankets and half asleep from your eventful day. When your eyes finally fluttered to sleep, your phone buzzed.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

You pick up your phone lazily and open up the messages.

Oikawa?

You groan. What is so goddamn urgent that he wants to meet with you so early in the morning?

You push the thoughts and the judgements out of your mind and go to bed early.

So much for a day out to relieve stress.

[Name] and Kiyoko both have a slight obsession with milk tea

IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DISCLOSE

Kiyoko introduced [Name], to the more traditional Japanese food when she moved here rather than the trendy ones portrayed in the Media

Unbeknownst to [Name], Kiyoko keeps tabs on the Seijoh boys just in case something bad happens.

Prev/next

Taglist: @tanakasimpcorner @zukoslosthishonor ​@saladskittles​

A note from Chef Tina: ty for sticking with me everyone for this fic! I feel like my efforts on writing this are paid off! Pls like, reblog or comment! It would help a lot! 

[blossom-hwa]

3racha cafe au ps? bc the one w the dancers was so funny

KASJDHG I’M GLAD YOU FOUND MY MEDIOCRE ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR FUNNY ANON <3 <3 ANYWAY I LIVE FOR 3RACHA BEING IDIOTS SO THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN, I HOPE YOU LAUGH AT IT!!!!

3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and  I’ll write a drabble for you!

I’M SO SORRY I HIT POST ON ACCIDENT WHEN I WASN’T DONE SO I HAD TO PRIVATE THIS SO I COULD FINISH IT HHHHHH

~

Title: Cafe Shenanigans

Pairing: no pairings, just 3racha being dumb

Triggers: a lot of cursing, suicidal jokes (purely jokes, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please do not read this - it’s along the lines of like ‘pls kill me now’ but yeah)

~

quick clarification:

better than tony: chan

chingban: changbin

gremlin: jisung 

~

better than tony: changbin what have I told you about swearing in front of customers

chingban: not to do it

better than tony: then why did I hear you say shit when you knocked your head against the counter

gremlin: HOW DID CHANGBIN KNOCK HIS HEAD AGAINST THE OUCNTER EVEN HE’S NOT /THAT/ SHORT

chingban: I don’t exist for anything but pain

chingban: when will I stop being clowned for no reason

chingban: also I stooped down to get more syrup okay I wasn’t standing when I fucking hit my head

better than tony: you will stop being clowned when you learn the meaning of professionalism

gremlin: didn’t you lock yourself in the bathroom one time to send cat memes to minho

better than tony: THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT

chingban: pls let it go chan the guy just laughed okay

chingban: no harm done

chingban: well my dignity is in pieces

gremlin: can’t break something that never existed

chingban: watch me pour hot coffee down your throat while you scream in pain tiny sucker

gremlin: who’s calling me tiny

better than tony: kids please

chingban: ONE FUCKING CENTIMETER

better than tony: I'm the manager and they still won’t listen to me

better than tony: I'm giving up on life

gremlin: we’re right here you know

better than tony: did I say something wrong?

chingban: ooooo breaking out the punctuation

chingban: he’s serious today

better than tony: I'm always serious

gremlin: your cat memes say otherwise

better than tony: WILL YOU LET THAT GO

~

gremlin: if another bitch asks for a complicated-ass order, fucking soy latte with no foam or whatever the fuck

gremlin: I'm going to slit my throat in front of the cameras

gremlin: and my ghost will haunt this fucking cafe for the rest of time

chingban: aren’t there better things to do after you’re dead

chingban: like

better than tony: rejoice in the fact that you are no longer alive?

chingban: ^^

gremlin: no I just want to make sure I'm a pain in your asses even beyond the grave

chingban: a little bitch even in death, I see

gremlin: you got me !

better than tony: why do you have an extra space between your last word and the exclamation mark

gremlin: extra chaos

better than tony: as if your existence wasn’t chaotic enough already

chingban: just a suggestion

chingban: if you want to haunt us beyond the grave

chingban: team up with that little dude ji changmin across the mall at build a bear

gremlin: omg yes thank you for this lovely piece of advice

better than tony: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

better than tony: N O

better than tony: CHANGBIN WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HIM IDEAS

chingban: I need entertainment

chingban: and you getting scared shitless is entertainment

chingban: additionally if I'm the one providing the advice by the transitive property I'm not the one who gets pranked

gremlin: <3

better than tony: I should honestly fire both of you

better than tony: all you do is text at work

better than tony: swear in front of customers

better than tony: and leAVE HAIRPINS IN THE FUCKING SINK

gremlin: I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT

chingban: felix says minho threatens to fire him and hyunjin at least once every shift

better than tony: I should do the same

gremlin: nah you’re too soft for that

chingban: ^^

better than tony: I want to argue but I can’t and I hate it

gremlin: <3

chingban: <3

better than tony: maybe I'll be the one who slits his throat in front of the cameras

gremlin: no you won’t you’re too soft to haunt us beyond the grave

better than tony: you’re right I won’t haunt you

better than tony: I'll just enjoy being dead and not fucking alive and having to deal with you

chingban: ngl that sounds like a pretty sweet deal

gremlin: but haunting

chingban: no

gremlin: :(

better than tony: changbin look you’ve made him sad

chingban: I-

chingban: YOU STARTED IT

better than tony: <3

chingban: breaking news chan has the capacity for evil and I don’t like it

~

gremlin: in my defense I was left alone

better than tony: that doesn’t explAIN THE FUCKING FIRE IN THE R E F R I G E R A TO R

better than tony: HOW DO YOU EVEN SET FIRE TO A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR

chingban: I honestly wonder why chan hasn’t fired us yet

chingban: mostly jisung but also me

better than tony: A R E F R I G E R A T O R

gremlin: chan

gremlin: listen

gremlin: was this worse than ‘wow’

better than tony: .... 

chingban: nothing could be worse than wow

chingban: his gc name is proof

better than tony: FUCK

gremlin: okay cool thank you for agreeing 

gremlin: now

gremlin is typing...

chingban: the fuck are you typing 

chingban: a whole ass essay??

gremlin: if setting a fire in a refrigerator is still a less horrible mess than wow was, that means that chan can no longer yell at me for setting a fire in a refrigerator because he was one of the main contributors to the mess that wow was, meaning because he contributed to a bigger mess than the refrigerator fire, he is unable to yell at me because to do so would be hypocrisy because he committed a worse crime than I did

chingban: did that... did that really just fucking make sense

chingban: quick chan use your lawyering skills to find some loophole in this there’s no way jisung can be making sense

gremlin: okay fuck you

better than tony: your argument is invalid because you also contributed to wow

chingban: ROASTED

gremlin: fuck I really thought I had chan beat there for a moment

chingban: fat chance 

better than tony: OKAY AS PUNISHMENT

better than tony: NO MORE TEXTING GET BACK TO WORK

gremlin: yes papi

better than tony: oh my god I hate it here

~

gremlin: question

gremlin: if cookie monster entered the cafe and pointed a gun at me and told me to give him all of the cookies in the display case and the oven

gremlin: what should I do

better than tony: I 

better than tony: I don’t even know how to respond to this

chingban: give him the cookies wtf

chingban: where’s your sense of self-preservation

gremlin: flew away the first time I jumped out of a two-story window to avoid becoming ‘it’ in a game of tag in third grade

better than tony: that

better than tony: that explains so much

chingban: I feel like I should be surprised but I'm really not

chingban: that’s the most jisung thing I've ever heard of

gremlin: <3

gremlin: but back to my question

gremlin: what should I do

chingban: I literally said to give him the fucking cookies

better than tony: I agree with changbin

gremlin: but what if he gets greedy and asks for the cheesecake too

gremlin: and it’s my day to take home the leftover cake

better than tony: would you die for cheesecake???????????

gremlin: without a moment’s hesitation

chingban: the amount of brain cells I lost throughout this conversation

chingban: unfathomable

better than tony: I'm quitting my job

gremlin: no pls don’t who else will changbin and I bother during breaks

chingban: you say that kind of bullshit about cookie monster and cheesecake and then you go and say ‘changbin and I’ instead of ‘me and changbin’ like normal people?????????

gremlin: look you may have had a crusty ass English teacher but my English teacher was LIT and I'll have you know I would take a bullet for her

gremlin: the least I can do use proper grammar when it comes to common mistakes

gremlin: mistakes that plebs like you make

better than tony: this conversation has gone off the rails

chingban: a train wreck

gremlin: more like 15 train wrecks mashed into one

better than tony: just. pls get back to work

gremlin: not unless you promise not to fire yourself

better than tony: it’s?? not?? possible?? for?? me?? to?? fire?? myself??

chingban: he means quit

better than tony: oh

chingban: I speak fluent jisung

better than tony: pls shut up 

better than tony: fine I promise

better than tony: please get back to work

better than tony: preferably without burning any refrigerators

gremlin: no promises

better than tony: I'll take what I can get

[gwoongi]

wordless pt.3

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick au), sugar daddy au, angst rating: mature words: 3.5k warnings: toxic relationships, non graphic sex a/n: im sleepy but hey im also rly glad bts made a statement about the blm movement :D

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(21) Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.

“Yeah, I did, I submitted it on Thursday. What do you mean, did it get a good mark, it’s only Monday.” As you near the front windows of the building, you sigh and stare at the gloomy clouds presented behind the glass. Korea is cold and wet and dark today. “Fuck, rain. Anyway, I’ll call you later, Eunji, okay?”

Eunji agrees and hangs up the phone before you get the chance to, and you’re left in the cool shadow of the largest cloud in the sky. From nine until eleven, you have a morning class on Monday; today, due to request from at least five students confused by the essay title that was due on Friday evening, the class ran for an additional hour and a half, all of the subject material covered with a general extension for the following Fri. Typical, as you rushed it to hand it in before submission.

“Not going home, Y/N?”

You suck your top teeth with disappointment, “Not yet, Professor, I need to make a call.”

The slim professor arrives at your elbow, “Boyfriend?”

“Not really,” you confess. You glance at your phone and find Jeongguk’s number, “but he owes me a few favours here and there, it won’t hurt to bring an umbrella or something.”

“Good luck,” she laughs. She doesn’t offer her umbrella, despite it being tucked under her armpit, and her car is parked in sight close to the windows. At that, she leaves and you send Jeongguk a quick text message. If he’s working presently, the text will annoy him less than a call.

Raining! I’m stuck, can you send some to come and get me?

Jeongguk must be in office, because his reply is speedy. Forget your subway card again?

I never ask for anything, would it hurt you to send someone to get me?

He doesn’t reply for five minutes, and then, Uni, right?

It takes at least fifteen minutes before a vehicle pulls up across the small car-park; it’s a black car, shiny and wet and loud, and you bristle at its entry. Quickly, you hug your coat closer around your body and when you glance back up towards the window, you’re surprised to see Jeongguk himself briskly crossing the lot with an umbrella over his head.

“I’m here to pick up a Y/N L/N, you seen her?” he asks when he reaches the door, smiling as you haul it open and stare at him with happy surprise. “You did not dress for the weather.”

“The app said it would be cloudy,” you huff.

“Baby, it’s January, what did you expect,” Jeongguk sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer to his body. Like this, he walks alongside you towards the car and for a moment, he glances around the complex out the corner of his eye. This University isn’t the dog's bollocks, because as much as he’s willing to help fund you at University, he can’t pay for you to be smarter. You’re pretty happy where you are, not being at a big-name University but doing the exact same degree anyways. He’s happy that you’re happy, but if it were him, he’d probably redecorate the front.

(22) Listening to them while they vent.

When Jeongguk vents, he doesn’t just vent. He never sits you down in front of him and lets it all out, nor does he slink away to therapy, or whining over the phone, or sleepy pillow talk where everything feels safer when you’re seconds away from falling asleep.

Instead, Jeongguk fucks away his problems, and as he does it, you tend to get an earful.

“And,” he grunts, one slap, one thrust, “I fucked it up.” One more. “All of it.” Another groan, a deeper push, “Fuck!”

You like to let him get it all out, and on the plus side, you get what you need which is to relieve the pressure of wanting in your stomach. It’s better when he’s angry, better for both of you, and he’s full of apologies when he’s finished, as if he was yelling at you and not at himself.

“Last time I ever work with Taehyung,” he spits. “Fuck. Ugh.”

You’ll ask him about it later.

(23) Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

One night, you’re over at Jeongguk’s. It’s not unusual that you’re here, especially when you’re here so often that his house feels like your own. From the bathroom, the shower runs loudly and Jeongguk sings, mostly to himself, in the water, meanwhile you dance around his kitchen making tea and bringing it to the bedroom where he’ll come in later when he’s done.

His room is golden and warm, and the curtains are drawn but the thin netting softens the sunset outside. You circle around the end of Jeongguk’s bed and set his cup on the bedside table on his side, closest to the window, when you notice something new sitting in a frame by the lamp. Okay, you’ll bite.

You put down both mugs and in exchange pick up the frame. Something warm bubbles inside your stomach as you look down at the frame; the picture, you’ve never seen before, but it’s of you. You remember the photo being taken in Colmar, the time that Jeongguk came to see you to satisfy his own boredom and need. Never did you imagine it would be a photo he’d print, let alone put in a frame next to his bed. It’s a pretty photo, too, with the river behind you and the sun on your skin, your hair only slightly in your face.

Not a perfect photo, but a pretty one. Jeongguk must like it enough to have printed it.

The shower cuts off in the bathroom and you move quickly, protecting an image of innocence as you put the frame back where it once was, and pick up your mug and place it on your bedside table. You’ve placed Jeongguk’s mug so that he could take it both ways. Maybe he’ll think you didn’t see the frame, or maybe he’ll know you did. He must have put it there for a reason, you think, and then you stop thinking when Jeongguk opens the bathroom door and enters the bedroom.

(24) Tracing your names together in the sand.

Jeongguk had a call from Hawaii. It was brief, and you imagine not very pleasant, but he had to go nonetheless. Jeongguk sure as hell wasn’t going to go to Hawaii without you, no matter how dangerous that might be for him. He told you with two hours notice to pack up your shit and meet him at his place. The plane took off three hours later, and Hawaii here you come.

He never liked to be late, or behind schedule, and so the job that needed to be done was done in a record breaking speed. Like always, he’d have some time to kill before needing to flee to avoid the authorities, and when Jeongguk heads back home after the deed is done, he steps into an empty room and his skin runs cold.

“Y/N?” he calls, to no response. He sets down his things and moves around the suite, his eyes darting to every area.

There is a moment where Jeongguk fears for the worst and out of instinct grabs the gun tucked into his belt. He pulls it out in the bedroom but pauses when out of the corner of his eye, he sees a person standing on the beach just outside the window. Jeongguk pauses.

Outside, the sun is warm and burning orange, sinking down into the pretty waves. You could get used to Hawaii, maybe, if you failed at journalism at the end of your degree, or if Jeongguk hurt your feelings enough that you felt living in Korea itself would be too painful to endure.

“Y/N!”

You turn over your shoulder, noticing Jeongguk stepping down from the dunes. He’s still in his suit, a black fit that makes him look slender and tall and absolutely stunning. His hair is still wild and wet and there’s blood on the inside of his blazer, a red that contrasts the white of his shirt. You won’t mention it, because he probably knows already.

“Hey,” you call back.

“It’s- it’s not safe for you to be out here on your own,” he explains, finally by your side. “Fuck, I was worried you’d been kidnapped, or something.”

“Oh, sorry,” you reply. “The sunset was just too pretty.”

Jeongguk sighs with his hands on his hips. “Yeah, it is. Hawaii does sunsets better than Korea, that’s for sure.”

Jeongguk stands next to you and says nothing for a few seconds. The sunset is indeed gorgeous, like something ripped out of a painting from a gallery somewhere fancy and famous. You hum quietly, and jump slightly to the left to grab a large stick off the sand. Jeongguk has to stop himself from smiling as you pick it up, like a kid who pretends the stick is a sword.

“I used to write rude things in the sand for the people in planes who flew past, every single time we went on vacation when I was a kid,” you announce.

Jeongguk laughs, “You were some kid, huh?”

“Maybe you killed the wrong one,” you think, and Jeongguk frowns.

“Can you not bring that up all the time?” You look at him and he frowns deeper, “I know you’re happy about it and stuff, but like...not my proudest moment. Makes me feel sucky.”

“Oh,” you answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just a joke.”

He shrugs, “I know. But still.”

You stab the sand with the stick. “I thought maybe it was like, fitting?”

Jeongguk lifts his head to the sky and closes his eyes. “Can’t we have a trip where we just pretend to be in love or something so I don’t feel so shit about the reason why we came here?”

That shuts you up for a moment, and you turn fully to face him as he continues to stare at the sky.

“Like Colmar, maybe,” you press, and he looks down.

“Yeah.”

It sits there for a bit, like you’re genuinely contemplating it, but then you straighten with a little huff and turn to him.

“Seems fair,” you agree.

Jeongguk almost exhales a sigh of relief and he smiles, genuinely, and follows you across the beach. The tide is a little out, the sand damp where the sea once was and like children, you embrace the fun that’s waiting to be had on the shores. Chasing the waves, running from them, staring at cute crabs that scurry across the sand and laughing at the cute kids that drop their ice creams in the water.

Jeongguk takes the stick gently from your hand and points it towards the white sand, pressing the tip against the grains. You smile against his arm as you bend to see what he draws; the stick drags across the sand and outlines a J, and the first initial of your name. Oh, you think, as he closes them inside a heart and stands back to admire his work.

It’s cute, childishly cute, and he looks proud. Jeongguk beams at you for approval and you smile back, happy.

“Photo,” you say and Jeongguk drops to a crouch near the design and poses with the stick. This photo is cute, probably cuter than the one from Colmar. Jeongguk even lets you keep it.

(25) Wearing clothes in their favourite colour.

Jeongguk’s favourite colour was white, and he loved the way a white shirt or a white coat or any white accessory would look on you. Sadistically he’d love you in the white clothes he ruins, seeing you wrap your body in a white shirt dressed with blood. White was his muse, a colour of purity and innocence. Although he always wore black for work, he had to have an admiration for the colour of white, standard paper or milk white.

Jeongguk knows that your favourite colour is green. He can tell by the amount of green plants around your apartment, and the green blankets and pillows and mugs and the unusual amount of green clothing items you have in your wardrobe. He even remembers the tie you bought him once, a Slytherin green that he actually really likes despite his Hogwarts house being Ravenclaw.

You’ve never actually seen him wear the tie, not until today when Jeongguk makes a quick stop by your apartment as he heads back to the office. He steps inside with a brown bag filled with bagels and he kisses your forehead by the front door and hands them to you. You see the tie and smile; Jeongguk sure as hell looks great in your favourite colour.

(26) Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.

You’re lucky that you never really came across Elio, never once when you were at Jeongguk’s home. You had assumed that Elio was sleeping, or elsewhere on days you visited or nights you slept over. To your surprise and perhaps horror, you discovered that Elio had been there all along, just disinterested in coming out to see you from the few rooms that Jeongguk converted into his own personal habitat.

“You just had him here all this time?” you screech quietly, running back into the bedroom after seeing Elio on the couch. “What the fuck.”

“He’s harmless,” Jeongguk shrugs. “He’s not interested in a human diet right now.”

“Right now? That’s not comforting,” you reply. “I’m happy to go through all your shitty paperwork for you, it’s something I actually enjoy, but can you please go out and get them for me?”

Jeongguk cocks his head to the side, “why, can’t find them?”

“They’re in the living room, on the table,” you explain, peering back out, “but Elio’s on the couch.”

He laughs, rising, “He’s not gonna even touch you.”

“He might.”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“No, but he doesn’t hurt me, so he won’t hurt you.”

You gape. “What? He’s your pet, of course he won’t hurt you. He trusts you. He doesn’t even know me.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly and ruffles your hair as he crosses your path. “Whatever. You’re such a fuckin pussy,” then he kisses your neck and heads out into the living room. You quiver by the doorway as he moves without a flinch towards Elio.

The giant cat picks his head up off the couch and yawns in Jeongguk’s direction, his tail swooshing prettily over the side of the couch. His black fur blends into the blanket he lies on and as he blinks slowly, Jeongguk reaches to pet his head and behind his ears. Elio basks in the love, pressing his head further into Jeongguk’s palm, oddly dog-like. Jeongguk spends a few more moments with his beloved exotic and then finally, like he’s reluctant to, picks up the large and messy stack of papers and then walks back towards the bedroom with a smug expression. Elio’s head falls back to sleep.

“Touch me, check I’m still alive after my dangerous encounter,” Jeongguk says, bringing the papers into the room and dropping them on the bed.

“Shut up,” you huff.

(27) Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

A call from Eunji at eight in the evening destroys all the plans you had set in place. Jeongguk had been called to meet with one of the founders of the South Korean Continental, and wouldn’t be back until around nine. You had prepped an entire meal, sitting ready on the side for when he got home.

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t absolutely important,” Eunji apologises, sounding flustered on the line, “I just. I didn’t know who else to call. I went back to the library, I think I got rid of him, but he was definitely following me from the restaurant. Fuck, Y/N, it was so scary.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m glad you called me,” you assure her, already putting your shoes on, “I can’t believe he showed up again. Didn’t he get put in jail?”

Eunji hums like she’s not convinced, “Out on bail, eighty kay.”

“Fuck. Do you, uh,” you start, thinking of if it’s okay to say, “want me to call someone else?” Jeongguk?

Eunji is one of the only people alive who knows about Jeongguk. She had been your best friend since you were seven, and was one of the only people who remained by your side after Jeongguk had your brother executed, and after you decided to become Jeongguk’s little play thing for a few weeks until he lost control and kept you around. Eunji’s no stranger to his antics, and if you warped the story a little, Jeongguk would have no issues with sorting the problem at hand.

“No, no, don’t,” Eunji begs. “He’ll take it too far. People will point fingers at me. Can you just come and get me?”

“Of course,” you tell her. “We’ll go back to mine, I can see Jeongguk whenever.”

Eunji exhales in relief, “I love you, you know that? You’re the best friend ever.”

You hang up a few minutes later and stare sadly at the meal. But it can’t be helped. Jeongguk’s bailed on you a thousand times for his colleagues. He wouldn’t mind, after a few hours of thinking about it. You sigh with repent and move the food towards the microwave.

Rescuing Eunji. Call me, I can come back tomorrow. Please eat.

Jeongguk finds the note when he gets home and scrunches it into a ball in the bin.

He eats alone, in silence, the other side of the table still prepped for another person.

(28) Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.

“Enjoy the movie!”

“Thanks.”

Jeongguk takes the two tickets from the vender and steers you towards the corridor that leads to the rooms. On this rare occasion, Jeongguk has decided to court you. Quite literally, Jeongguk had called you up and asked if you wanted to go on a date, or something, because he was bored and liked you most, and he knows there’s a movie you’ve been wanting to see.

“Are you sure you wanna watch it with me?” you ask him, even though he’s already got the tickets and is walking next to you.

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“I just didn’t think you were a cinema kind of person,” you confess.

Jeongguk hums, “To be honest, I’m not. But this movie looks good, and you wanna see it, and how often do we do things that you wanna do?”

It’s true.

The cinema room is dark and empty, since you’re both early to begin with. As always, it’s a little bit sticky and smelly, and Jeongguk pushes you towards the back row because it is inarguably the best place to sit in the cinema. You set down the large drink in between you both, two straws poking out in each of your directions.

“It’s great this movie is showing here,” you say quietly.

“Yeah, well the LGBT plus movement is really popular now, people are a lot more accepting of it,” Jeongguk states. “I mean, look at how well The Handmaiden did.”

You nod, “great movie.”

“It is,” he agrees. A few minutes later and the lights dim significantly, the movie is probably about to start. Jeongguk leans to the left a little and sips from the drink.

(29) Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

Uni’s tough, nobody said it wasn’t. Jeongguk doesn’t really understand this, since he never went to University. He brings a mug of tea from the kitchen to his bedroom where you’re sitting cross-legged staring at a laptop, setting it to the side and sitting just behind you but to your side, watching you closely.

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what,” you mutter dimly.

“Overworking yourself,” Jeongguk replies, “I can see your brain fucking pulsing against your skull.”

You sigh loudly. “I can’t do this. Why did I enroll in University? I should have just put it all away after high school and become a trophy wife.”

Jeongguk’s brows furrow. “You can still be a trophy wife, you’ll just be a smart one.”

You look at him. “I’m not smart enough for this.”

For a while, Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, and he just sits listening to you. As you vent, and open up about how hard it is to do this damn degree, Jeongguk watches your face and your body and uses his fingers to gently tuck the hair that falls in front of your face behind your ear. The passion that pours out of you when you’re frustrated is an unspoken beauty that you’re not even aware of, and Jeongguk eats it up.

He does what he can to put you at ease, because things he says in encouragement are things you already know anyway. Like all humans, all you need is a little bit of love, and Jeongguk’s happy to give it if it means you’re happy with him.

(30) Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.

“Can’t reach. Baby, scratch my back for me?”

You cringe away from the TV, “what the fuck am I? Your maid?”

“Please?”

You sigh. “Where’s it itching?”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“You don’t pay me enough for this.”

“I don’t pay you at all.”

Sigh. “Exactly.”

[megglepie]

Good luck on your driving test!! I still get stressed about driving sometimes (^~^’)

Here’s my HC for you; 1-A and their fav 1-A teacher (excluding Dadzawa & Dad Might because I think they’d skew results):

Iida, Aoyama, Hagakure, Asui, Todoroki, & Kirishima: Cementoss

Sero, Sato, Ashido, & Kaminari: Midnight

Midoriya, Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Koda, & Jiro: Present Mic

Bakugo, Tokoyami, Shoji, & Ojiro: Ectoplasm

What d’ya think? Did I miss the mark?

yea im really nervous but also so desperate for a license that im actually probably not even as nervous as i should be but anyway ahaha

i pretty much agree with this hc all around!!! let me elaborate why:

cementoss is, while calm and a bit of a quiet lecturer, probably also very engaging! i bet he knows exactly when to ask just the right questions to keep the students interest piqued!! he strikes me as being a very good listener and also the type of person that when he speaks, people really stop and listen bc whatever he’s gonna say has been thoroughly thought out with you in mind, he just make you feel Heard! i think cementoss prolly leads great socratic discussions and i think the lil group you named would love that type of learning environment!!! i can see each of them finding so much enjoyment and stimulation from doing in class (and out of class too when studying!!) discussions for their assigned texts. like, picture kiri’s “that’s so manly!” for every influential essay they read and aoyama acing every poetry assignment they’re given and tsuyu’s thoughtful critiques on modern lit that make everyone go oooh

sero sato ashido and kami (the dummies 😔) would absolutely enjoy midnight’s class the most bc it’s not as “stuffy” as the other subjects and midnight herself certainly isnt either!!!! she probably loves projects and presentations and takes a hands on research based approach to her assignments and i think this group of kiddos would go for museum trips and in depth art presentations over math or foreign language any day!! god now i wanna write these goofs doing all the art history shit i did in high school lolol

god where to even start with mic... his teaching really works for some (like the kids u named)!!! and.... not so much for others. mic goes fast and has a hard time slowing down, part of this is simply because he has A LOT of content to cover in a school year and part of it’s because he’s just fucking like that. it works for the kids u named bc that energy keeps them engaged and they all enjoy the challenge foreign language presents (i would except koda from this reasoning at least partially bc i think mic’s his fave primarily for a dif reason i.e. understanding and personal encouragement when it comes to koda’s selective mutism)

ALSO i just know deku thinks it’s SO FUCKING COOL to have The present mic as his english teacher dhdjslfhsldk

oop another subheadcanon i guess is that momojirou love present mic bc in addition to being a rad english teach he’s a gay fucking icon and lesbians love him and they are lesbians

ectoplasm is a rly direct teacher, perfect for math, he lays it out as clear and as simple as he can first and foremost but he’s always willing to take different approaches for the kids who need it. ecto prefers the quickest routes to his solutions but is just as capable of taking the long way through when explanations are needed. the kiddos you named LOVE math, period.

bonus: if you’re into deaf/hoh hcs then there are, like, a MILLION additional teacher-student relationship hcs i could ramble abt so hit me back for that if u’d like!!

[thesnowinthemountains]

NCT 127 helping you study

(a/n: i did my best but i apologize in advance if there are inaccuracies in certain fields of study, i also acknowledge that the lengths of these are hella inconsistent. oops.)

Taeil

He thought it would be a good idea to have music playing in the background while you tried to study. Tried. You kept getting distracted by a particularly good lyric or interesting instrumental arrangement until you were eventually about to crawl out of your skin. He was sitting across from you at the dinner table, your papers scattered everywhere, scrolling through his phone.

“Taeil, turn that off please.” You said it softly.

“No.”

You look up at him now.

“What do you mean ‘no’? Yes. Turn that off,” you laugh it off, but you’re the slightest bit annoyed. This is one of the biggest exams you’ll have this semester, and if you don’t straight up ace it, you’ll be struggling for the next few weeks. He shakes his head.

“Taeil-”

“I read somewhere that if you can associate sounds or music to words, it helps to memorize them. I’m trying to help.”

“Oh.” You pause. “Well, maybe try it again later, for now I don’t even have my definitions down.”

He finally looks at you.

“Fine.” The music stops and you fall back into a peaceful silence.

Johnny

“Alright, who painted ‘Composition with Red, Blue and Yellow’?”

“Mondrian. Come on, at least give me something difficult, I’m trying to pass this final,” you whine, head hanging over the side of your bed. Johnny sits at your desk across the room.

“Okay, how about some added incentive?” Your study sheet falls from his face and you realize you haven’t actually looked at him in about a half hour.

“Yes?” You lean up onto your elbows.

“Every answer you get right now is a kiss you’ll get later.” He cocks his head. You don’t even have to think about it.

“Deal! Come on, next question.” You plop back down. A few minutes later, after a lightning round of names and dates, colours and details, you sit up to find him writing on your notes.

“What are you doing? Those are important.” You frown.

“I’m keeping a tally so I don’t forget one later. We are at...” He smirks without looking up and counts his marks on the page. “Seven, so far.”

“Ah,” you blush, “carry on, then.” You think to yourself there’s no way in hell you’ll ever be able to focus on that particular page of notes again.

Taeyong

You were supposed to memorize the entire periodic table and you were absolutely overwhelmed at the prospect. This was one of those moments you wished you had some superhuman photographic memory that would require minimal effort on your end. Taeyong had you study piece by piece over a long period of time. At first, you hadn’t even noticed he was doing it - he was being sneaky.

“Hey, what’s the first row of the periodic table?”

“That’s a weird question.”

He shrugged.

“I don’t know, I just had a weird flashback to science class in high school, it was up on a wall next to my desk. I think it starts with helium, right?”

“Hydrogen and helium, technically, yeah, but that’s not really how they’re grouped.” You explained.

“Oh? So how are they grouped?”

“Well, you’ve got your metals, halogens, stuff like that.”

“Huh. And what are they?”

That’s when you started to catch on. You cocked your head at him.

“Which ones? There are a few different types of metals.”

“Well, whichever.” He shrugged, still playing his part perfectly.

Yuta

It wasn’t an exam, per se, but you had to put together a final portfolio for an art class, one you hated. It was supposed to be basic drawing techniques, but the professor was all over the place; not all that surprising for an art professor, but still annoying to follow. You were sitting on your living room floor, papers strewn everywhere, barely knowing where to begin. You had a drawing of a flower that was nice and simple, you had gotten the shading right, you liked it enough. One was of a hallway; same deal, the technique was alright, you set it aside, but you had to pick a total of ten drawings. You had dozens, some of the same thing over and over again because you, or the professor, were never satisfied. When Yuta walked into the apartment and found you in that state, he started by sitting quietly beside you on the floor.

“What are we doing?” He murmured after a minute.

“Freaking out.”

“I see. Anything I can help with?”

You didn’t answer, but held up a decent-enough drawing of a hand.

“Do you think the details on this are okay?” You asked. He looked at you and then the drawing. He liked pretty much anything you did, but he knew you needed brutal honesty if you were ever going to be finished with this. He took a long, deep breath.

“So, the index finger on this one looks a little wonky, I think this one,” he reached for another drawing of a hand, “has better lines, better dimensions. All the fingers are good.”

“Oh, I hate the thumb on that one, though…”

He shrugged.

“This one?” He picked a drawing of a desk under a window. “The light looks really cool.”

Doyoung

For your final assignment, you were to make a long, detailed marketing proposal to your class. If it was picked up, you passed, if not, you had an opportunity for a do-over, and a private presentation to the professor alone. You didn’t want the second option, you had other things to do after passing this class that did not include a one-on-one meeting with your middle-aged professor some time after the end of classes. You had been reciting the whole thing to yourself for days, you had prepared a PowerPoint presentation and a ton of visuals to aid you, but you needed a second opinion. You had gone out with Doyoung a handful of times, you both figured it was a matter of time before things between you were made official, so you had him over, sat him down, and launched into your presentation. At the end, you took a breath, then asked:

“How was that?”

He gaped at you.

“Well, hot, we’ll start there.”

“No, Doyoung, I meant would you go for this idea if you were the CEO of something?”

“Honestly, yeah. You made some good points, you had valid, real reasons for what you wanted to do and how you wanted to market this thing. I think it works.” He shrugged.

“You’re a business major, you better not be bullshitting me.”

“You’re a marketing major, you could probably tell if I was.”

Jaehyun

You had given Jaehyun a key to your apartment months ago. He let himself in regularly, and a lot of the time, he was there when you got home from school or work. This time, though, he walked in to you sitting on your living room floor, laptop on the coffee table, facing the couch. There was paper all over the floor, some crumpled, some ripped, some simply abandoned. He had to tiptoe and side-step all the way to you. Your hair was a mess, which he would’ve found endearing if your eyes hadn’t been bloodshot.

“What are you doing?”

You nearly jumped out of skin, startled.

“Fuck, when did you get here?” You asked, eyes wide.

“Just now. You know you have a desk.” He nodded to the wooden furniture in the far corner of the room. You sighed.

“I couldn’t sit there anymore, I was going out of my mind.”

“Well, what are you doing?” He asked again, picking up notes on the couch to sit, facing you.

“My final portfolio for my fiction class is due tomorrow and I haven’t worked on anything in weeks.”

“You’re always writing.”

“Yeah, I’m always writing, but I had two of these stories workshopped months ago and I hadn’t looked at them since. God, they needed so much work, Jaehyun, I can’t believe I actually submitted that. Plus, I was missing a good ten pages for the portfolio, which I’ve written now, thank god, but I have so many drafted versions, I don’t know which one I want. I wrote seven different endings. I’m not even sure about my characters’ names. Or if I want them to be named, nothing’s coming out like I want it, I don’t know what I’m going to do-”

“Okay, slow down, slow down,” he moved to sit on the floor now, facing you at eye level. “How long have you been writing?”

You looked down at the time on your laptop. You frowned, confused.

“That can’t be right.”

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“There’s no way-”

“Alright, go take a nap, I’ll order some food.”

Winwin

“I need you to play judge.” You told Sicheng.

“Judge?”

“Yeah, sit,” you placed him at the center of the couch, and looked around before handing him a spoon. “Tap that on the table if you need to interrupt me.”

He stared at the spoon.

“Isn’t that for weddings?”

“So, I’m basically defending a client accused of theft and-”

“Don’t I get, like, case notes or something?”

“So demanding.” You rolled your eyes but went for your notes. He looked them over for a few minutes before leaning back comfortably.

“Proceed.” He declared, voice loud and clear. You smiled before launching into everything you prepared for your final. He did a fine job of rebutting if possible and interrupting when necessary, though you had to stop him from objecting! about anything he disagreed with.

Jungwoo

As an education major in your first year, your big final assignment was to prepare an elementary-level language class to teach your fellow university-level education major peers. To prepare, you had Jungwoo come over and told him he’d be playing the role of a seven year old, which pleased him.

“I’m a baby, you know that. This is perfect,” he grinned, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of you.

“Yes, now shut up, we’re learning vowels.” You said in your regular voice before switching to the over-enunciated, slightly higher-pitched voice of a first or second-grade teacher.

Mark

“How’s the essay going?” Mark asked, coming into your dorm room. He plopped down on your bed behind you.

“Well, so… get this,” you swiveled around in your chair to face him, leaving behind you a handful of novels, two different notebooks, and your phone open to pictures of your friends’ notes. “I’m supposed to write a compare-and-contrast essay about James Joyce and Samuel Beckett, of all people.”

“Is that so bad?”

“Mark, have you ever read Beckett? It’s like an acid trip in slow motion. You finish it, you have straight up no clue what you just read, but now you have to write about it.”

He frowns.

“And that other guy?”

“Joyce? He’s okay, I’m just glad writing about Ulysses isn’t a requirement. There are just certain things I’m not willing to put myself through.”

“Well, mind if I keep you company?” He leans back on your bed.

“Go ahead, just try not to distract me too much, I want to get this done today.”

“You won’t even know I’m here.” He puts his headphones in and lies back against your pillow. 

Haechan

This boy had arranged a whole game night just for you. He had friends over, set up a whole tournament bracket in which he was, of course, your partner, and he made sure even if you didn’t end up winning, you would end up learning, memorizing, and having fun getting ready for your most dreaded final. Food was ordered, drinks were made, and finally everyone involved in this evening was sat around the dinner table, in a heated trivia competition.

Some days later when your exam came around and you saw the first questions, your mind flashed back to Haechan shouting the answer at the top of his lungs and standing up so fast his chair fell backwards. It had been a ridiculous, slightly stupid idea, but damn if it hadn’t worked like a charm.

[gins-potter]

ummm so i did a thing and wrote some hp next gen hc’s fuck you j.k the order they’re written is the age order (idk if there is a canonical age order for all the weasley cousins but this is my take anyway) under the cut because this is long

Teddy Remus Lupin.

hufflepuff

pansexual 

soft boy who can and will make friends with absolutely everyone

his family use he/him pronouns out of habit but he’s open to any pronouns

has 5 parents in his mind, remus, tonks, andromeda, harry, and ginny

calls ginny and harry, mum and dad, and lives with them for a while after he graduates hogwarts

making head boy is one of his proudest moments and he never saw it coming because he’s a bit of a troublemaker

but his troublemaking is usually limited to sneaking out of bed to get food from the kitchen, and changing into teachers to scare students

is one of those people that is genuinely liked by everyone, teachers and students

even filch can’t bring himself to yell at that cheerful smile

doesn’t play quidditch, but watches because so many of his family members play

but watching also makes him nervous because he’s scared someone will get hurt

his feelings for victoire kind of come out of nowhere the year after he graduates hogwarts and she’s no longer there teasing him

they don’t get together until victoire is of age though because although he’ll never admit it, bill scares the hell out of him

wants to be a healer after hogwarts

Victoire Weasley.

ravenclaw

the sorting hat almost put her in slytherin

considered going to beauxbatons, but didn’t want to move away

hates the dumb blonde trope and works her ass off to get at least an E in all her subjects

despite hating being mistaken for just a pretty face, she does have an impeccable fashion sense, and her makeup is always on point

wishes she and her sister were closer, and it takes until they’re in their seventh and fifth years respectively to realise how similar they are

lives to intimidate people

and loves seeing the looks on boys faces when they realise how smart she is

and she really is scary smart

has this witty, banter going with teddy but is in denial about what it means until she’s in her sixth year and realises oh crap she’s in love with him

has a ridiculously complicated coffee order, which teddy knows off by heart

incidentally the first time he orders for her, getting it perfect, of course, is also the moment she realises she’s in love with him

is the eldest official weasley/potter child and finds it s t r e s s f u l

thinks her siblings/cousins are crazy

ends up teaming up with James and Molly to keep them all in line

James Sirius Potter.

gryffindor

jock™

joins the gryffindor team in his second year, plays chaser, and is good enough to give both his mother and his grandfather a run for their money

shameless flirt and acts so much like his two name-sakes that it sometimes makes mcgonagall catch her breath when he winks brazenly at her in the middle of transfiguration

becomes the first half of a brother duo to play for the english national team

feels a lot of pressure to keep up good grades, keep the gryffindor team winning (especially after he’s made captain in his sixth year), look after all his siblings and cousins, and maintain the happy-go-lucky attitude that he’s come to be known for

is diagnosed with anxiety during his seventh year

harry cries when james tells him how dark he’d been feeling

lily researches plants that are proven to lift spirits and brings them to him until he feels like smiling again

has his father’s crazy hair (though his are auburn curls) and his grandfather’s hazel eyes

unlike his brother he likes hearing how much he looks like his family

Dominique Weasley.

slytherin

feels like the night to victoire’s day

takes her coffee black

likes to wear ripped jeans and old band shirts

dyes her hair

would never admit it but lily luna is her favourite cousin

gets a tattoo of a snake down her spine when she’s fifteen and her parents hit the roof and ground her for the entire summer

she expected her dad at least to be cool about it

likes boys and girls, but thinks most of them are idiots

has the best eyeliner game in the school

is fiercely protective of her little brother

never even considered going to beauxbatons

even though they annoy her most of the time she could never be away from her family that long

also loves to intimidate people

wishes her sister wasn’t so perfect all the time because she thinks it puts more pressure on her to be better

Molly Weasley II.

gryffindor

is dyslexic but it took everyone a long time to realise it

thought for a long time that she was just too dumb to get above an acceptable in any of her classes

rose eventually works it out, and it gets better after that

or at least her teachers are a bit more considerate

is a whiz at classes where she doesn’t have to write a lot of essays

loves care of magical creatures and helps Hagrid teach Grawp English

her uncle charlie is her favourite uncle and considers running away to live with him in her fourth year

has a very strained relationship with her father because he tends to be very impatient with her and used to say she wasn’t trying hard enough in school

really good at sewing and cooking (much like her namesake) and can usually be found in the kitchen of the weasley house experimenting on a new recipe

gives the best presents

is the best at wrangling the weasley/potter brood

is that person who remembers every single birthday, anniversary, favourite colour, pet’s names and so on

shameless romantic

Rose Granger-Weasley.

gryffindor

everyone is surprised af when she gets sorted into gryffindor, including rose, but she grows to love the crazy, loud house

is in love with scorpius for about 3 months in third year but gets over it pretty quickly when she sees the way scorpius looks at her cousin

so she just settles back and waits for them to figure it out

pretends like she hates quidditch but has a secret love for it that only her dad knows about

and she of course supports the chudley cannons

is one of those annoying ‘gets perfect marks without studying’ type of people

likes to rock the space buns look with her cousin roxanne

thinks she might be ace/aro but really isn’t sure

her mum is her hero

goes through a rebellious phase in the summer between her fifth and sixth years, and lives with her aunt ginny and uncle harry for a few weeks

is the first person to realise her cousin molly is dyslexic

Scorpius Malfoy.

ravenclaw

is the first malfoy in history to not be in slytherin

thinks albus potter in glasses is the hottest thing

thought his father would hate him for being sorted into ravenclaw

he doesn’t

thought his father would hate him for being gay

he doesn’t

his father tells him once that raising him is the best thing he’s ever done and it’s one of the most important things anyone has ever said to him

professional piner

is in love with al since almost the first time he ever saw him

plays chaser in his 4th and 5th years but is really glad when they find a replacement for him

he prefers watching his boyfriend play

loves his mother

kinda hates his grandparents and hates himself for that

when he’s in The Zone™ good luck getting his attention

has a tendency to hyperfixate

hates parties but goes because al and rose like them

has a touch of social anxiety

Albus Severus Potter.

slytherin

tries out for the slytherin team in his first year, but isn’t selected

is called in to play for the grand final against gryffindor that year when the other seeker is injured, they lose but it’s still one of the best moments of his life and makes him the second youngest person to play for a hogwarts team after his father

goes on to play on the english national team with his brother

is best friends with rose and scorpius

is constantly being told by teachers how much the three of them remind them of his father, uncle ron, and aunt hermione

likes boys

knows he likes boys pretty much from birth (his parents are also unsurprised when he tells them)

doesn’t work out that he’s in love with scorpius until they’re in their fifth year, and it still takes them most of the year to get their shit together

needs glasses but hates wearing them, so he usually wears contacts

is always down for a nap

Louis Weasley.

hufflepuff

came the closest to studying abroad, but just before he was set to start he had a minor panic attack and realised he couldn’t do it

he was worried for a long time that his mum was secretly disappointed that he went to hogwarts just like his siblings, but she told him she could never be disappointed in him

he knew from a young age that he had been born into the wrong body but wasn’t able to tell his family until he was around 10, 

he didn’t want to go to hogwarts with no one knowing who he really was

his parents didn’t pretend like they had always known, but they accepted him nonetheless

always harboured a hero-worship-lowkey-crush on teddy which eventually developed into a mutual friendship, despite the almost 10 year age gap

plays seeker on the hufflepuff team only because they desperately need a seeker and lucy begs him

loves his older sisters but wishes they weren’t so protective

sometimes wishes he was closer to fred, lucy, and roxanne who are all in his year and are very close but then remembers that they’re all crazy and if he hung with them more he’d probably be in detention every week

loves muggle studies and wants to work with muggles after hogwarts

collects muggle coins 

Roxanne Weasley.

gryffindor

practically invented the space buns look

holographic aesthetic

friends with everyone

headgirl

is friendly with absolutely everyone but also plays beater so people are very ???

likes being a twin and usually gets pulled into fred and lucy’s crazy schemes

has the highest detention record of any head girl ever, but most of those are fred and lucy’s fault

the one detention that actually is her fault is when she throws her beaters bat at her brother because he let slip who she had a crush on in the middle of commentating a quidditch match

it worked out pretty well in the end because the girl found her after the quidditch match to ask her out

one third of the unholy trinity (lucy came up with the name)

she’s the third who tries to keep them out of trouble

has the chillest nature and can’t stand to see any of her family hurt

wishes uncle percy wasn’t so hard on molly

is one soft lesbian

physically incapable of holding a grudge

Fred Weasley II.

gryffindor

doesn’t play quidditch but takes after his godfather and commentates

likes to try and throw his sister off her game when she’s playing quidditch

second third of the unholy trinity

honestly does not know how he gets in so much trouble all the time

seriously wonders if he was born without impulse control

like it’s not his fault that he’s curious about absolutely everything and has the patience of an excited puppy

is really good at charms

always knows the most obscure spells

has no idea what he wants to do after he leaves school but isn’t worried about that

Lucy Weasley.

hufflepuff

plays chaser

troublemaker ™

last third of the unholy trinity (the name was her idea)

her and lily are either the best of friends or the worst of enemies (there is no inbetween)

god help you when they’re at each other's throat because their arguments could wipe out city blocks

you can imagine how much worse they are when they’re teaming up

thinks she maybe wants to be an auror after leaving school

her dad hates the idea

which of course makes her want to do it even more

loves mystery novels and can always guess the ending by about halfway

thinks her uncle harry is the coolest

invites herself along on lorcan’s world travels after he finishes hogwarts

loves to smack him over the back of the head when he gets too obnoxious

but secretly loves it when he starts ranting about the topics he’s studying

Lorcan Scamander.

ravenclaw

smart boy

thinks his mum is kinda nuts but loves her anyway

thinks his brother is kinda nuts but loves him anyway

doesn’t know how he got basically adopted into the weasley/potter family but can’t bring himself to be mad about it

loves arithmancy and nerding out with hermione about it

wants to do too many things after he leaves hogwarts

ends up taking some time off to travel for a bit and learn more about the different wizarding cultures

lucy surprises everyone and invites herself along as a break after she finishes her auror training

no one can work out if they hate each other or are secretly dating

lysander can’t work out if he hates her or wants to kiss her

Lysander Scamander.

hufflepuff

eptimosises the dumb blonde stereotype

too pretty for his own good

gets shoved into keeper position on the hufflepuff team because no one else can/wants to play, and is The Worst

gets distracted by cool clouds and pretty butterflies during quidditch games

finds that he actually really likes quidditch because it turns out he loves flying

he still sucks at keeping of course

but at least he’s having fun now

thinks his mum is a genius

pansexual

knows that hugo is the one for him as soon as they start dating

favourite thing is the way hugo’s ears go red when he’s flustered

thinks ron is hilarious

Lily Luna Potter.

slytherin

smol, smol, smol child

is five feet of pure rage, sass, and protectiveness

will fuck up anyone who messes with her family

parents started her in quidditch to help vent her frustrations but quickly grows to love the game, or at least being able to hit the fuck out bludgers

plant nerd

starts a herbology club with her uncle neville (who she refuses to call professor longbottom no matter how many times he reminds her)

she is one smol lesbian

hates it when james is going through his anxiety because for the first time kicking someone’s ass won’t fix it

less than zero impulse control

she finds an old photograph of her mum rocking an undercut and immediately goes for the electric razor

the end result is horrible, and she ends up calling victoire and dominique to fix it for her

did i mention she’s super smol?  

thinks that her dad doesn’t understand her very much but cries a little when uncle neville let’s slip that he’s been borrowing herbology books to learn more about her favourite subject

works with troubled teens after she leaves hogwarts

works out at age eight that is she arranges her cousins a certain way in family photos they can spell out bad words with the letters on their sweaters

her parents don’t know if they should be angry or impressed.

Hugo Granger-Weasley

ravenclaw

is the quieter kind of smart compared to his sister, who is always correcting people

surprises the fuck out of people when he’s put in ravenclaw and gets near perfect grades at hogwarts

studies a lot

is the only person who can beat his dad at chess

has a bad habit of falling asleep while reading

is jealous of how good all his cousins are at quidditch, and thinks for a long time that his dad is disappointed because he’s too scared of heights to play

is a self-confessed morosexual and is shamelessly in love with lysander scamander

almost gets stuck on the hogwarts express one time because he was too busy reading to realise they’d arrived

prefect

always has ink stains on his hands

usually gets said ink in lysander’s hair when they kiss

has a thing for lysander’s blonde curls

[maggotmouth]

         hello, its nora again ( she/her, gmt ) n this is the ethereal but spoiled alma olive putnam (she goes by all 3 names cos she’s pretentious as fuck).  ive never used anya taylor joy as her fc before but anya has a smile that looks like she knows something u dont and thats completely alma’s vibe so we’re gonna try it out. she was raised in a farmhouse in vermont, big horse girl energy. very hungry for everything life has to offer. wakes up and smells the success in her blood. luvs the smell of libraries and listening to french music from a tinny record player in knee socks. here is pinterest. bio is below the cut, like this post to be bombarded with plotting messages but i might forget or get shy tho so pls message me x

application template.

ANYA TAYLOR - JOY   ,   CIS-FEMALE   ,   SHE/HER         →         according   to   the   school   records   ,   ALMA OLIVE PUTNAM   has   been   attending   sacred   heart   for   the   past   three   years   .   i   last   saw   them   hanging   around  the  sacred   heart   cathedral   ;   i   think   they   were   studying   the   stations   of   the   cross   with   a   smile   like   a   well - kept   secret.   at   twenty   -   one   years   old   ,   alma   has   been   studying   classics   and   get   this   ,   i   heard   that   she   has   made   a   fortune   on   the   black   market   by   forging   renaissance   art   to   sell   to   collectors   —   figure   it’s   true   ?   everyone   around   here   always   associates   them   with    neck   scarves   tied   around   your   throat   the   way   they   do   in   french   new   wave   films , running   barefoot   through   the   woods   drunk   on  red  wine   and  untapped   power , a  smile  like  a   locked   door   that   speaks   only  in   riddles  .   in   the   time   since   these   strange   happenings   ,   they   have   have   encountered   any   unexplained   occurrences   .         (   written   by   nora   ,   24   ,   she/her   ,   gmt   )

aesthetics.

a red beret nestled on top of bright platimum locks, neck scarves tied around your throat the way they do it in french new wave films, running barefoot through the woods in feckless hedonism, china dolls with porcelain faces lined against the walls of your room, the mona lisa smile, knee-socks tugged over the hockey grazes on your knees, a forged botticelli drying on your easel, ophelia floating in the middle of a lake.

proceed w caution, tw for death, drugs, alcohol, violence

the short form. (still long af tbh)

— studying classics cos she thinks it makes her sound smart, but actually hates fuckin latin and just loves learning about feckless hedonism and the festivals of bacchus and writing about how all women in myth are literally forgotten. was expelled from princeton in her first year so her parents basically paid her way into sacred heart and the board really liked her in her interview. i think the governors kind of expect to see her in the supreme court one day or st

—  born in vermont in a big old farmhouse. her great-great-grandfather moved to america as an immigrant and worked on a plantation, made his way up cos he could speak a lot of languages and therefore win more people over. for the last two generations, putnam men have owned the farm and do little of the dirty work. big in the meat industry.

— both her parents had large personalities, so alma’s never really been shy around adults, even as a kid she’d speak to them in a forthright, confident manner, and because she was always surrounded by adults, she’s always seemed a bit wise beyond her years.

— very much a consolidation of every character in the secret history. has a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs. obsessed with w.h. auden and the beat poets. — ”aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing and even that is pointless” — is majoring in classical civilisation. can read ancient greek and latin. also speaks french.

— studies hard and plays hard. she gets top marks but it’s because academia is literally her life, she loves the smell of libraries, the ancient smoke of learning, of feeling like old wine in a new bottle reincarnated from the bones of some old, dead witchy woman who invented a cure for cowpox or somethin.

— isn’t a foward-planner, however. alma prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manner so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenaline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

— pretentious motherfucker. loves poetry, especially the romantics, loves morbid ones too, edgar allen poe, sylvia plath, allen ginsberg, she just loves them all. can’t get enough. her favourite films are like…. wanky artfilm independent european cinema. especially french new wave. “what do you think of goddard’s work??” while snorting a line off someone’s sink at 5am on a school night, but you can bet she’ll make it to that 9am class. — very intelligent and beautiful and knows both of those facts. plays devil’s advocate. humanitarian, vegan. — judgemental but takes great care not to appear so. petty and vindictive

— obsessively devours mystery and thriller novels. she herself is a gillian flynn book waiting to happen. — tries to be an enigma. wants to be mysterious and unreadable because that’s what books have taught her makes women desirable and interesting and cool. very amy dunne in the way she expertly reinvents herself to suit her audience, when she wants to impress

—  an incredibly talented dancer. she was accepted to juliard to study ballet, but after an injury to her foot she had to refuse her place, something that she’s incredibly bitter about. she went to princeton instead to study classics for a semester, before being expelled. 

— alma comes from a family of high-end art dealers. while her parents paid her way into the school, that was mostly due to previous expulsions, not low intelligence. she’s incredibly intelligent but will only put in effort when she deems the cause worthy. she’s frustrating to teach, because she requires evidence, truth, in order to accept something as worthwhile. she plays devil’s advocate, but academically she’s brilliant. 

—  she can recognise any renaissance artist just by their brush strokes. her aunt and uncle deal antiques and art, and from an internship with them after her expulsion from princeton, she learned how to market and sell art, how to recognise originals in contrast to fakes. from this, alma began to produce counterfeit art and sell it off as the original work to the contacts she had made in her internship. it’s disloyal, but it’s powerful.

— act like the flower but be the serpent under it. is a user. manipulative. leads people on. will throw another student under the bus to demonstrate her own intelligence and integrity — heavily involved in the theatre society. loves attention. — has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive, runs track, played lacrosse at school, now is a cheerleader probably. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning.

— her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee-high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk. — relates to ophelia from hamlet and sibyl vane in dorian gray. weirdly obsessed with women who commit suicide. loves jackson pollock paintings and abstract art. – likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramophone because “the sound quality is better” kfdsjj.

plots.

here are some generic wanted plots but by all means message me so we can flesh them out more if any strike ur interest:

study buddies !! someone who is equally unprepared and so spends all night in the library with alma before a big deadline, maybe they even met in the library

if they’re from new england or vermont, then cousins . second cousins / extended family / family friends –  probably spat volavons on your character once as children, omg childhood friends !

honestly someone who is fully in love with her or crushing on her that she can just break would be sweet :/ or on the other hand someone she unexpectedly gets feelings for and actually wants to guage her own  eyeballs out bc of it

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sporting or academic rivalries !

hockey / cheer friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!

fellow academics who like meeting up to discuss latin and greek ! gimme a secret society bonding by their love of ancient learning

i reckon she’s in a lot of societies, definitely the film club, maybe works as a projectionist at the uni cinema if they have one so give me ppl affiliated with that, give me fellow wanky pretentious art-lovers and poets and historians who will go to museums and galleries with her and listen to the velvet underground on vinyl

people she gets mortally fucked off her tits with at parties

people who think she is throwing her academic potential away by caving to hedonistic impulse

a secret society !!! honestly i would die for a slug club esque thing in which the children of notable families are invited to dinners or alma’s also an art forger, so maybe like a club of students set up to basically forge paintings and documents from the university special collections

people she has drunkenly made out with, hooked up with, or regularly sleeps with casually, maybe even a friend w benefits she is repressing feelings for, i love angst,

people she used to date or unrequitedly likes, but to them it’s just a physical thing, give me all the thirsty angst plots, and maybe some softness too, i need some religion in this girls life, she is a roman catholic after all

full biography.

alma olive putnam.

intro.

        the girl is a knife. razor-sharp, double-edged, the bright shine of a two-faced, lovely thing. silver like the secrets you magpie thief from other heads. you’re a scavenger of knowledge, of tidbits, of gossip to lock away for later use and late-night re-inspection. a mind is like a clock if you get to learn the pieces. bit by bit, you dismantle the inner workings of the brains that tick around you – how easy it is to change it’s path, how words and their meanings can make a person laugh or cry in an instant. to have the power to control that is to be a god. it’s the power trip you crave wielding pom-poms in your hands; a possessive need for control that a younger you, small and weak, never had as a child. small lips, smaller smile, a doll clutched in your too-hungry fingers, hard enough to shatter the bones of a real infant. you cut your hair with your mother’s kitchen scissors before the autumn falls, rendering you out of season, unfit for the cold weather that beats against the nape of your neck, where a stick-and-poke marks the star you were born under ; the bull. “mama, when will i be a queen?” as soon as they find a crown small enough not to slip from your head.

biography.

        if you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. hands red, stained by pomegranate seeds, the empty pulp of its shell splattered on your thighs you find yourself wondering – what would it be like to want? in the beginning, you never knew hunger. twins, born under the same star, you first, him second – a nuclear family. never a sister to compete with, you were always the cherry pie of your parents’ hearts. white-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful baby of mine. the townhouse in vermont and the summer house in lyon, you wanted for nought, showered with attention, saddled with gifts - hardly a wonder you came to rely on such affection as a confirmation of your own worth.

        at eight years old you first met death, blood on a gingham-print dress, a smear of it over your cheekbone and the pulp of a mangled animal at your feet murdered by the hands of a stable boy. “alma, my precious baby, you get away from that filth,” your mama would cry from the upstairs balcony – cigar in one hand and a bloody mary in the other – though whether the filth she referred to was the dead pig or the boy with a kernel of corn in his mouth, you never did find out.

        your family earned their keeps in farming, great-grandfather wolfgang hildegarde a german immigrant, great-grandmother maura lisbon a prairie girl. they fell hopelessly in love between troughs and pig-shit, working for three dollars a day at a farm their descendants would later own, trade deals with the indians, vacations to calcutta, your father todd putnam in the kind of sheepskin coat his father’s father could only dream of owning. he worked hard so that you’d never have to. your mama once asked – you heard it through the window, rounding cartwheels across the picket-fenced lawn – could he not find a respectable career rather than selling shrink-wrapped pork for a dime a dozen? that blood money had no business raising a child. you look far back enough, edie, your father had said in his low, strong voice that could bring a civil war to silence, and i think you’ll find that all money is blood money.

        language was never fickle on your tongue, french dinner time talk by the time you were out of your hush puppy shoes, your mama fixing the au pair a smile as she fixed herself another martini. you learned the clarinet at four and how to dance with the grace of a swansong at six, ethereal under a spotlight, an audience captive in the palm of your hand. by eight you knew that you’d always been destined to be loved. loved so hard they would want to taste you, bite into the soft plump of your cheek and eat you alive. that was how magnetic you wanted to feel. but mother hamsters eat their own young when penned in together too long, and soon you became too wild, too restless, another package on your father’s delivery invoice, box-shipped out to english boarding school.

        fitting in had never been something you had to concern yourself with. you were always the shiny new toy the other girls wanted to play with, bright like a dropped coin from a magpie’s beak. wherever you went, you seemed to leave a trail of awe, pig-tailed harriet’s adoring you, imitating you, teachers forgiving your class-time chatter for the sake of your wild heart and the restless spirit you possessed. tell us what it’s like in the states, alma. they’d coo, enamoured by your hollywood drawl. does your father own a gun? you hardly knew. barely even knew the colour of his hair, for the scarce amount of times he’d stoop to kiss your cheek, though you’d tell silver-tongued tales if it’d guaranteed you an audience. when you learned how to smile at the right times, and that flattery would get you everywhere, it soon became apparent that charm would pave the yellow brick road to success even when your lack of drive couldn’t.

        the road you followed – gum-snapping, roller-blading, friendship bands all up your arm – eventually led you to sacred heart. bright-eyed and gingham skirted, you’d always known you were more. there was a hunger in you to be something extraordinary, a want so adamant to be imagined and desired that it was almost savage. in leather-bound volumes and a circle of stones, you were helen of troy, the girl for whom they’d launch a thousand ships. but there’s so much rage within you, collecting like sawdust in cavernous parts. hockey helped. there was something grounding about the feeling of a stick clasped in your hands. sweat. stiff knuckles. feet pounding the earth. the smash of wood against flesh in the scram of a game, passed off as mere enthusiasm. “slipped, sorry.” hockey is the one thing you had that was yours alone – a feral instinct that motivates you to play; something primitive within you that sparks an energy like no other. on the pitch, you feel alive. you feel like a god.

[marcelficexchange]

Amazing Authors and Artists are working in Round Two right now!!! but ROUND 1 gave us amazing fics!! Let’s take a look and enjoy!! 🎉🎉💕💕

Hello!! The Sign-up for Round 2 is coming!!! So here are the marvellous fics of Round 1!!! Enjoy them!! See you soon!!! 

1.  The Case Of The (Definitely Not Haunted) Styles Mansion (40K) By @briannamarguerite

“So there’s a sense of humour buried beneath all that condescension, huh?” Louis said when he’d stopped laughing.

“It’s not condescension, it’s intelligence. I understand you might not be able to recognize it yourself,” Marcel said, then slapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh god, I’m sorry.”

Louis stepped closer, his eyes on Marcel’s face. “For being an asshat?”

“For being rude,” Marcel said, from beneath his palm.

Louis shifted a half-step closer until he was at the very edge of Marcel’s personal space. It felt like he was nudging at it, asking to be let in. Marcel flushed hot for no reason.

“Lucky for you it takes quite a lot to actually insult me,” Louis said taking one step closer. Too close. Too close.

Marcel met Louis’ eyes. Those blue eyes that reminded Marcel of poetry instead of science, lyrics instead of formulas. They were so pretty he wanted to drown in them.

Or the Nancy Drew AU where Marcel is a man of logic, Louis is a private detective who believes in ghosts, and the Styles Mansion is definitely, absolutely, positively *not* haunted.

2. Save The Last Dance For Me (50704 words) by @1diamondinthesun

Wealthy Marcel Styles is an avid supporter of the Royal Ballet Company. Louis Tomlinson is the new principal dancer with a humble past and a dream. When they collide, sparks fly. But is it enough to overcome their different social classes and prove that love is all you need?

3.  Little Treasure (14190 words) by bubblegumclouds 

Louis was the closed off coffee shop boy and Marcel had spent too long pining while helping him with work. When a series of clashes, misunderstandings and a lot of denials fall into their path, can Marcel handle it? Even worse, can Louis?

(Another Coffee Shop worker Louis with Marcel and an added twist of a university AU)

4.  Hold Me Tight and Don’t Let Go (18934 words) by @lululawrence

Louis’ mind was whirling and a mess of information about application deadlines and talking to his mom about options he had for next year and the failed test and how she might react when he the news. Louis was near his spot and he knew as soon as he got there he could let the tears and frustration flow, but when he turned the corner to his special space his whole body froze.

“Who’re you?” Louis bit out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That came out way more harsh than he was intending. “Sorry, I just-”

Louis was interrupted by the boy, previously curled in a tiny ball and crying into his knees, stumbling to his feet, saying something Louis couldn’t understand, and wiping away at the tears. He straightened his glasses, grabbed his bookbag, mumbled something a second time, and then he literally ran off.

Or the one where Louis is barely holding himself together when he meets Marcel and an unexpected friendship might be just what both of them need.

5.  An Ever-Fixed Mark (16365 words) by @larryandgaystuff

Louis has zero chance of passing Literature. At least without a tutor who knows Shakespeare well enough to recite it as if those words were his own. And he finds just that, and a lot more, in Marcel.

The course of true love never did run smooth. But is it worth it?

6.  A Study in Argyle (6285 words) by flamboyantdorks

The one where Louis decides he doesn’t want to go to college because he’s burnt out. Harry is the oddball nerd that assists him in writing his application essay.

7.  Buried Like Treasure (40200 words) by @becomeawendybird

Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family’s properties in the Swiss Alps.

Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

8.  Nice day for a pizza wedding (12052 words) by star_k

There’s a layer of total surrealness to have your own name denied by a stranger, while said stranger has your cock in their hands.

Harry was glad he was in the sort of situation he knew exactly how that felt.

Or, a story about how Harry, 18-year-old Tumblr and photography enthusiast, ended up enjoying his birthday with the pizza boy, in a night filled with pizza, his faithful camera and the doubt of how to correct someone you were flirting with that he got Harry’s name wrong.

He only had Niall to blame.

9.  just like he already owned it (13427 words) by @thepriestthinksitsthedevil

“Because you’re in my wedding!” she exclaimed. “You need to buy a suit and get a date.”

Louis groaned. “Why do I have to have a date?”

“Because I need my pictures to be symmetrical and you need to have a date for that to happen,” Lottie explained. Louis considered for a moment, deciding that he’d ask Zayn, Liam, Niall, or Steve if they’d wanna go with him. It’d be fun, at any rate, and they all knew about Louis’ family at least a little bit so it wouldn’t be awkward. “And before you even think about bringing one of your weird friends, I expect this date to be a boy that you like. Like like.”

Or: Louis needs a date. Marcel does nothing but hangs out with his cat.

10.  Everything Comes Back To You (9491 words) by @jaerie

Louis was only seven when he found himself in a hospital bed alone and scared, confused about what was happening. When another little boy climbed into his bed to comfort him, Louis never thought that they would be meeting again later in life. He also never imagined that their roles would be reversed the second time around.

11.  Convalescent Boy (with a Heart of Gold) (7847 words) by @londonfoginacup

Just as the professor beginning to mess with his powerpoint, the door at the back of the balcony creaks open and Marcel looks back to notice Louis Tomlinson, The Louis Tomlinson, slip in and take a seat in the very back.

Marcel is starting to feel like his life is a comedy. Only yesterday was Louis Tomlinson on his floor at the library. Now he’s in his seminar. What is happening?

“Hey Mars,” Nick says, not particularly quietly as he leans over. “Isn’t that your crush?”

Marcel smacks him.

Or, the one where Marcel is a nerd who loves to learn but loves to go to theatre productions even more and may or may not have a long time crush on the lead in most of the plays, Louis Tomlinson. The same Louis Tomlinson who seems to be appearing wherever Marcel is. Funny, that.

12. Cool Cats (16172 words) by @suddenclarityharry

There’s a gorgeous boy sitting there, staring at him. His hair is longish, tucked back by a cloth headband, his eyes are a brilliant blue that makes Marcel question if he’s ever actually seen real blue before or just cheap imitations of it. And his lips, thin and pink, are just slightly open, almost as though they’re inviting Marcel’s kiss.

“Oh,” the boy breathes in surprise and the tone is enough to wake Marcel from his momentary stupor. He realizes that the boy is staring at his ears and suddenly kisses are the furthest thing from Marcel’s mind.

Marcel exhales harshly and pulls out his chair, sinking into it and crossing his arms over his chest. He lifts his chin defiantly. “Alright, let’s have it.”

“Have… what?” The boy asks wide-eyed and, fuck, even his voice is beautiful. It’s got this delightful rasp to it that makes Marcel wanna purr.

“Whatever jokes or insults you’re gonna say. Let’s just get them over with now and out of the way,” Marcel says.

The blue-eyed cutie just sits there, staring.

Or

Sometimes, Marcel can have nice things.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

SVT as Mutants/ Mutates Pt1

Masterlist

Important Facts to know Prior!

Mutants:

Granted abilities by birth/ naturally

Mutates:

Genetically engineered/ unnaturally created

Pledis School for the Exceptional:

A school and safe house for mutants and mutates

they teach pupils how to control their abilities

and they teach them regular things like math and shit

they have trained members of the staff that are dedicated to tracking down EssoCorp facilities and rescuing mutates.

They are known as SVT

Specialized Variant Taskforce

It located in the middle of a forest

It is pretty impossible to reach unless you get picked up by one of their members

or you can fly

The large manor is huge but most people still have roommates

That's mostly to make them feel better

Most of the older students teach the younger ones how to control their abilities

EssoCorp

A group of scientists trying to create mutates

they want an army of people with powers

basically pawns for disposal

they kidnap kids with the gene sequence for mutation

then they experiment on them and brainwash them

If the testing doesn't kill them the brainwashing will

most subjects don't make it to 18

Choi Seungcheol- Code Name: Alpha

Ability(ies): Essokinesis; the manipulation of reality itself

Status: Mutant

Development:

Seungcheol always had a vivid imagination

He drew pictures all the time and his parents just kept them on the fridge

when he was seven his great aunt had come over and was making fun of one of the pictures

Cheol insisted that it was a pig and his aunt just kept laughing at him

Then the pig on the paper began oinking and running around the scene

Everyone in the house started freaking out

Cheol collapsed suddenly and the pig stopped moving.

His parents put two and two together and called Pledis

They waited until he was okay before explaining what was going on

He understood and figured it was like a boarding school

Training:

He was one of the youngest people there at the time

No one knew what to make of his abilities

Essokinesis had only ever been seen once before and it didn't end well

If he tried to create or manipulate something too large, it would use all his energy and basically kill him

So they started small and helped build his strength.

He conjured small things like apples and illusions

as he grew more powerful he could conjure weapons or barriers

Once he was able to control and understand his powers more, he started doing more research on the other Essokinetics

During schooling, he met Jeonghan and he became one of his first friends.

Slowly became the dad friend as new people started coming in.

He tried visiting his parents once but they had moved away from their house

Current:

He's the leader of the specialized excursion team in charge of finding and rescuing mutants and mutates

They're called SVT

He's still the dad friend

When there is a fight, he'll create things for the others to use, or creates barriers and locks.

If he has to fight, he'll use his hands.

He's a big strong boy

Anytime they find a mutate, he immediately adopts them,

Unless its Jeonghan

He gets really mad if there are visible marks on a mutate and has to be held back from killing the scientists in charge.

Back at the house, he teaches other people who can alter perceived reality

So far, no one else has actually been able to manipulate reality itself.

People joke that one day he'll be so strong he could just get rid of EssoCorp with a snap

Since his power is called Essokinesis, he especially hates EssoCorp.

He's very close to Jeonghan and always worries about him.

He worries about everyone, but he knows the toll Jeonghan's powers take on him

He's also close to Wonu, Gyu, and Vernon

Pretty much a chill guy who hates having to use his powers, but will kick your ass no hesitation if you try to hurt one of his friends.

Yoon Jeonghan- Code Name: Delphi

Abilitiy(ies): Hydromancy; Fortune telling via the use of water, Astral Vision; Seeing multiple over lapping dimensions.

Status: Mutant

Development

His grandmother was a seer but his parents were normal

When he told his parents about seeing something in his glass of water, they didn't think anything of it

But when he told his grandmother she understood and explained what was going on.

He developed the Astral Vision the day she passed.

He was 13, trying to write an essay for school when she came to him from the spirit dimension and told him what had happened.

The next morning he saw someone coming for him in his water glass and ran upstairs to pack.

When the EssoCorp employees came to get him he legged it out the window

When he paused in a park to catch his breath, he got a vision of  Pledis from one of the spirits in the Astral Plane

And promptly passed out.

When he woke up a few hours later he set out to find the school

It took him nearly 2 years

He is still the only person to ever purposely find the school alone, without any real info

Training

Having hydromancy meant most of the training was in the pool house,

He practically lived there, learning how to ask the proper questions to get the right answer

He met Cheol not long after coming to the school and immediately had a vision about him.

He saw Cheol leading a group of 13 people, saving mutates and mutants

Mind you Cheol was like 14 when that happened

He freaked for a second as Jeonghan spoke,

Then Jeonghan just shut up and collapsed.

Cheol caught him before he hit the ground

Ever since then he sticks close to Cheol.

Current:

His powers make him really tired, so he naps a lot

His powers are mostly used to help find other mutates

He also comforts the mutates and mutants who come in

He's technically part of the SVT team but never joins missions

His job is to provide key details and keep them safe.

Even though it takes a lot out of him, he always keeps an eye on everyone through the basin set up in his room.

Every time something really bad happens he can be heard shouting from his room.

Surprisingly he's rather comforting

When new people are brought in, they get roomed with him and DK

When they wake up with nightmares in the middle of the night there's Jeonghan

Sometimes, he just hugs them

Other times, he takes them to the kitchens and makes them hot chocolate and just lets them talk

Joshua is one of the people he's closest to

He's also adopted Dino, calling him his baby

Once, one of the other students made fun of Joshua for being a mutate

His powers may not have been physical but when the astral spirits help him

He is one scary boy

The spirits have a tendency to take over sometimes

Let's just say the kid ended up in the hospital wing for a while with multiple broken bones

Don't fuck with Yoon Jeonghan

Kim Mingyu- Code Name: Medusa

Ability(ies): Petrification; Turning objects or even people into stone

Status: Mutant

Development

He was simultaneously lucky and unlucky about his ability

On one hand, he made his bully stop

On the other hand, he made him stop by turning him to stone

Whoops

Gyu was 13

This guy had been harassing him for a while

But Gyu was the kind of guy to keep his head down and not make a fuss

But his dad told him to stand up for himself

So the next time the bully came as him, he looked him dead in the eyes

And suddenly, dude was stone

Gyu froze started crying

He frantically covered his eyes and collapsed to the ground

Cheol found him like that when the school called Pledis

He handed Gyu a pair of sunglasses and helped him up

“Look at him again, and try to bring him back, you know he doesn't deserve this”

Cheol’s words were surprisingly comforting

And it worked, the bully turned back to flesh and blood,

The Cheol threatened him for a few minutes before letting him run off

After explaining to Gyu's parents what was up, he took him to Pledis

Training

It took a lot of reassurance before Gyu would even open his eyes around people

Literal months

But eventually, he learned not only how to control it but how to turn nonliving objects to stone

Even bodies of water

He felt he had to when he saw an exhausted Jeonghan searching for mutates

He just turned the pool to stone

He also once turned an annoying bird to stone

Current

He wears sunglasses all the time

Normal people think its so he looks cool or mysterious

But no, it's so he doesn't get angry and petrify someone

He actually has accepted the name Medusa,

Someone was making fun of Wonu and Gyu got pissed

He asked if they had ever felt the wrath of a monster

Yeah so people stopped making fun of Wonu

He's part of SVT and they mostly just take him places as an intimidation factor

He's like 9 feet tall and can turn you to stone

But he's actually a golden retriever who likes to cook

So,,,,

Hong Joshua- Code Name: Belladonna

Ability(ies): Plant Manipulation; Creation and manipulation of flora, Toxin Immunity; Not injured nor altered by poisons or toxins

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was living in LA with his parents at the time

When he was 4 EssoCorp came for him

His mom had taken him to the park

As soon as he was out of her sight a man in a suit came up to him

He jabbed little Shua with a needle and simply walked away.

No one seemed to notice or care

I mean his parents did but they were just humans

When he woke up in a tiny room he freaked

He got very quiet soon after

He was about 10 when it happened

A small plant he had in his room which was beginning to wilt, stopped

He was just sitting there, stroking the leaves

And slowly the fern became more and more green

He just sat there for hours,

The doctors started noticing it, believing it to be a healing mutation

They hadn't experimented on him for a long time

He had heard the cries of some o the other experiments and it hurt

But he just pets the plant,

The doctors burst into the room, startling him, but more importantly

Startling the plant

Leaves shot towards the doctor, embedding themselves in his neck

Another plant, one that must have been just outside the window, slithering into the room.

The doctor ran from the room, slamming the door shut and dead bolting it.

The plants began spreading farther and faster

The doctors tried to pump a toxin into the room but it had no effect.

Josh just coughed and smiled

Rescue

By the time Seungcheol and the others found him, the entire wing he was in was empty.

Most of the other subjects had been moved to different compounds

He, or perhaps his plants, had been slowly taken over the building

When Cheol entered the wing he was greeted by plants, so many plants.

Jeonghan had known about this but assured Cheol he mutate was harmless

And he seemed to be

Josh was just sitting on his bed, reading a book

He didn't look up when Cheol walked in but held up a finger

When he finished, he marked his page and looked up at the intruder

He seemed relaxed even if Cheol looked like a member of a swat team

Honestly, he was mostly just upset that he'd have to leave his plants

It had been nearly 10 years of just them

Current

He's a member of the SVT team, field agent surprisingly

His ability to manipulate plants makes him pretty powerful but he prefers to not fight

He only goes along when they really need his specific talents.

Mostly he just spends all day in the greenhouse,

which is also where he sleeps

For a while, he wanted to find his parents

But he was scared of what they would think now that he had these abilities.

He's a shy boy makes friends pretty easily

Like Jeonghan

He isn't quite sure how the boy ended up in the hospital wing, but he didn't do it so

He enjoys music a lot

If he's not in the greenhouse he's somewhere in the small forest surrounding the place playing his guitar

If its raining and you can't find him, check the roof, he enjoys water

He's basically become a plant at this point.

He even hangs around Seokmin a lot because he swears that boy is the sun

There's also a small fern growing out of the pocket of his favorite shirt

He also made someone carry a plant around to make up for the oxygen they were using up after asking too many questions

Wen Junhui-  Code Name: Copy Cat

Ability(ies): Self Cloning; creating one or more replicas of oneself

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 6 when EssoCorp found him

His parents didn't understand when they took him away

He never saw them again

He was taken to the Chinese facility

Which was oddly in the middle of a village

He didn't understand what was happening as he was shoved into a cell

Three brick walls and one wall that was just glass.

In between the horrific experiments he just sat on his bed,

As he grew (and got handsome) the scientists were thinking he might just be normal

They started just fucking with him

Basically just torturing him, at this point

He started wishing there was someone else,

someone who could take the pain.

It was super late one night,

The moon was shining in from the small window.

He closed his eyes again, the next thing he knew there was the feeling of someone in the room with him

He opened his eyes to find another version of himself

By the time doctors had come in the next morning

There were four Jun's doing different things

One was reading,

One sleeping

One dancing in the corner

And one, probably the original was staring out the window.

The experiments just got worse.

Rescue

Jeonghan actually joined them on this one

He wouldn't tell people what he had seen

but knew he needed to be there to help

He stayed back as Cheol and the other members cleared the facility

Cheol counts the following moment at one of the scariest

Jeonghan walked through the building in a trance, guided by the spirits

He just stepped over the bodies and puddles of blood in a crisp white suit.

They found Jun strapped to a gurney while another version of himself tried to untie him

Something about Jeonghan just made Jun trust him

Once Jun was on his feet again, Jeonghan hugged him

Which made the now 19-year-old just start sobbing

They don't talk about that part now

Current

A very important member of SVT

He's a smart cookie and he's strong so having multiples of him is nice.

Since his clones don't feel pain, only the OG Jun does, he stays on the plane during missions

He hangs out with a few of the other mutates, Hoshi and Dino mostly

You can generally find him dancing in one of the manors rec rooms

or fucking with Minghao

He cracks a lot of jokes

But most nights he's awake with nightmares.

He does most of the housework in the manor those nights

He just sits at the kitchen bar drinking hot cocoa with Jeonghan or anyone else that’s awake

And his clones are all over cleaning and stuff.

He's scatterbrained most of the time but controlling the clones takes focus

Its like therapy but not expensive or intrusive.

Jeon Wonwoo- Code Name: Einstein

Ability(ies): Superhuman Intelligence; Knowledge and comprehension faster and more accurate than otherwise humanly possible.

Status: Mutant

Development

He had always been pretty smart and preferred to sit alone and read

His parents didn't actually think something was different about him

Maybe he was just autistic?

He wasn't bullied in school

Cuz he looked scary as shit

But then he wore sweaters and glasses

And girls (and guys, we gay here bud) started just falling for him

Sometimes literally

Then he graduated high school at 15

No girlfriend,

No friends

He had a cat though

But he wasn't hurting anyone

Except maybe himself

And his social skills

Training (kinda)

He finished a bachelors degree in mutant studies at 18

Then he moved away from his parents

He actually broke into an EssoCorp facility

It was old and abandoned but he got it functional

He used their machines to figure out of he really was a mutant

Low and behold

He is

Look at that

Then he just casually found Pledis and sent them a coded message

None of them figured it out

But someone traced it

They thought it was a mutate that had somehow escaped

So Shua and Cheol arrived to find Wonu just sitting at a desk reading an encyclopedia like a children's book

He figured living in a stately manor with other mutants and mutates to study wasn't the worst thing to happen

Current

He's not allowed in the kitchen

Too many science experiments gone wrong

Some of the rescued mutates don't trust him,

For good reason

He likes studying people

And mutates intrigue him

He has a whole lab set up in his room

But he's still a member of SVT

Sometimes they need him to unencrypt something

Sometimes they just need him to help teach someone something

He likes teaching

He spends most of his time helping others with their powers

He looks mean but you're most likely to find him in the library,

where he's read every book

Don't ask him questions you aren't ready to hear the answer to

Man, this was really long. Stay tuned for part 2 and don’t hesitate to request any scenarios, headcanons, or reactions your heart desires!

[fairyscribbles]

Boiling Bite. (Chanyeol, Wolf!au) 2/2

Hello guys! A few little changes!

I will try to again re-update a lot of the lists that I have here, because not only they were not up to date, they are a bit glitched, as I saw when uploading that Baekhyun story!

I also thought of putting up my ko-fi link again. I stopped doing it for a while because I was pretty content, but as I started working, my financial needs rose up as well, due to travel, food etc etc. I am also really shooting to go to the JLPTs again and obtain the highest level (N1). For that, I need the books for it. I already bought the grammar book, so I need the vocab, kanji and reading so I can prepare and hopefully go try out the summer dates of the test!

It’s also a bit hard to update for me now not only because of school but also because of the house renovation. My desk is really cluttered from all the things I’ve had on shelves and my laptop has been connected to the TV for about three weeks now and has been exclusively used for Netflix ^^’ I did go back to writing into notebooks though, and I’m biting through a few of the requests. Who knows, maybe once I’m done, I will open them again!

Well now, after this super long essay, let’s enjoy the second part of the Kris story I have posted a while back!

If you need to refresh your memory, here is the first part! If you like what you read, you can support me on ko-fi!

♥

-

Everything burned and everything hurt. You didn’t remember when was the last time you were conscious for more than five minutes. The pain always knocked you out before you could go insane with it.

You could clearly remember that night... the dark alleyway... Kris’ mate crying into her phone, begging Kris to come and save you. 

The two vampires standing, ready to pounce. 

You stepping between the vampires and Kris’ mate.

And then the bite.

It was as if somebody suddenly poured acid into your veins and the blood carried it all over your body. It felt horrible. You wanted to die as you felt the ice cold fangs digging into you, sucking the life out of you.

It might’ve been gone in a few seconds, but it felt like hours to you.

They came and saved you. But it was too late, as you crumbled to the ground and you screamed in pain.

You felt someone, Chanyeol probably, picking you up and cradling you to him, but it didn’t do anything with the horrible pain that coursed through your body.

That’s when you blacked out the first time.

- 

The first time you came to was when you felt someone settle down next to you.

“Ch-Chan…” your voice was too raspy for you to continue, a coughing fit interrupting your question.

“It’s me, ___.” Answered the voice that did not belong to your mate. Kyungsoo wiped at your forehead, the wet cloth gathering the sweat that trickled down your face.

“What…what…happene-“

“You were bitten. It’s the werewolf genes and vampire saliva that’s making you hurt.” You whimpered as the washcloth trailed down your face onto your neck, to the bite mark. A strangled scream ripped through your throat when the cloth dabbed at the wound and you immediately cowered from the pack’s healer. You heard him apologize, but everything was pronounced so slow and the way your eyelids seemed to drop, you knew you were out of it once again.

-

“Alright, ___. We need to get some of the bad blood out. This is going to hurt a lot, so we’re going to do it by bits, alright?”

You slowly grew accustomed to the pain, you were beginning to understand how it worked, how it always came in waves at you. It could’ve been two days since Kyungsoo’s visit, but it could’ve been two weeks as well.

You nodded shakily, tilting your head to the side and revealing your neck to him. Kyungsoo sighed, placing everything he was holding onto the nightstand before looming over you, his lips on your neck.

“Try to hold on as long as possible…” he mumbled quietly, his breath ghosting over your skin, before his lips closed over the wound. The first suck had you arching against him in a scream, your fists bunching in his shirt. You screeched, pleading for him to stop, trashing from side to side. You could feel the lift slipping from you from every suck by Kyungsoo’s lips. It ended just a few seconds after, yet it felt like eternity.

Kyungsoo spit out the blood he held in his mouth, its color a washed out red and more yellow than anything else.

“You did great, ___.” Kyungsoo gently stroked your cheek, trying to somehow calm you down.

“Chan…” you coughed heavily after that.

“What was it, ___?”

“Where…is…Ch-Chan…Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo fell silent for quite a while after that. Every passing second was like a dagger to your heart.

“He’s out hunting. He left three days ago, he didn’t come back yet.” Kyungsoo told you and yet you somehow knew it was a lie. You swallowed the tears that crept up on you and nodded to the tense Kyungsoo.

“You should try to get some sleep, ___-ah. We’ll try to get out more tomorrow.” His voice was gentle as if he was talking to a child. You nodded again, the grip of consciousness already slipping past your hands.

The last thing you thought of was Chanyeol’s voice, desperately calling your name.

-

Chanyeol sighed as he walked through the door. His body was full of kinks and soreness that wouldn’t be able to go away even after extended rest. As if he could do that, anyway.

For the past few days, he hadn’t thought about anything else, but revenge. He spent the past three days hunting down a vampire coven, making sure he would get every and single one of those suckers.

He kicked off his muddy boots and entered the house, his jacket a bloody pool on the floor. As he passed the mirror, he noticed the deep bags under his eyes and hallowed face.

He was only a ghost of what he used to be. He felt it, in his skin, his bones, in his very form, something changed. And he didn’t know how he would bring it back.

-

They switched every day. At first, only Kyungsoo would come, but later on, Suho replaced the healer, calling in Jongin to hold you down while sucking out the poison. The day after, the two switched and after that, Minseok and Luhan took their turns in trying to make you feel better.

You had already filled a whole glass with the yellowish substance and your mind was free from the sticky mist that clouded your senses.

It had its downfall, as it made the pain of healing clearer and the realization that since the night you’ve been bitten, Chanyeol hasn’t seen you once. Not a single time you felt his presence beside you and that made you tear up.

You probably disgusted him. You were bitten. And broken. Who in the right state of mind would want a broken mate? You thought as Kyungsoo gave your neck one hard last suck.

“Kyungsoo…” you choked out, stuttering over the lump in your throat.

“Yes? What is it?” he answered after cleaning his mouth, the poison still rocking slightly in the cup.

“K-Kill me.” You sobbed, the tears sneaking up on you. You could almost feel Kyungsoo freeze.

“What?” he wanted to you repeat as he slipped his hands around yours. You gripped him desperately.

“Please, just…let me have it over with. Just kill me and let that be…it.”

“Are you crazy? What about Chanyeol?” his voice sounded as if he still didn’t believe what you were saying. You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked at the ceiling, illuminated by moonlight.

“He…he doesn’t care about me anymore.” You had to wait a moment after saying that to calm yourself down. It was far too painful.

“I don’t blame him, though.” You added with a smile, even through the tears.

“Who would want a mate that is tainted by the enemy?” Kyungsoo squeezed your hand, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard, ___. And I’m in a pack with Jongin, which means I’m listening to stupidities on a daily basis.” You could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but to chuckle shortly.

“Chanyeol wants you all the time. NO matter how you act, look or feel.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Kyungsoo was quiet for a long time, weighing out his options. IN the end, he sighed, shaking his head.

“I would like to know that, too.” He rubbed your hand some more. It wasn’t the same thing as being comforted by your mate, but it came close.

“Just go to sleep, ___. You did good today.” You squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand one last time, before slowly rolling on your side. You instinctively awaited Chanyeol’s arms wrapping around you and pull you to him, but that never came.

-

Before Chanyeol could sigh and slip off his jacket, he was shoved back by a furious looking Kyungsoo.

“You need to start taking care of your mate.” He growled in a low tone, his eyes flickering gold.

“I am.” Chanyeol mumbled under his breath, trying to keep his cool.

“I’m avenging her. Killing every motherfucker I can get my eyes on.”

“She doesn’t need that. She needs you. But you’ve been too much of a pussy to face her.”

“What?” Chanyeol hissed, his beast stirring. Kyungsoo’s face showed he was being serious about what he said.

“I said, you’re too much of a pussy to look at her. You need to start taking care of her.”

“Do you even know how it fucking feels like? Being in my place?” Chanyeol asked, his tone menacingly passive as he came closer to Kyungsoo.

“Do you know the fucking feeling, when the person you love the most, the person you would die for, gets hurt? Like that? In front of your own fucking eyes?!” Chanyeol’s growl gradually turned into roaring.

“Do you even know how I feel when I walk around the room and I hear her screaming? Because I was unable to help her? Do you know the feeling?”

“And do you fucking know what you’re doing to her now? Did you even know that she asked me to kill her yesterday?” Kyungsoo’s words were like a thousand daggers, stabbing into his heart. As he heard about your wish to die, his knees buckled.

“W-What?” Kyungsoo smiled grimly as Chanyeol’s shock-ridden state.

“She thinks you don’t want her anymore. She told me that you probably think of her as disgusting since she was bitten by a vampire.” Chanyeol sighed deeply, sliding down the wall he was leaning against.

“Fucking hell…” he muttered, running his fingers through his hair. Kyungsoo knelt down next to him, laying his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Look, I’m not going to try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t listen to me anyways. But killing vampires won’t help her. She needs you close. She needs to know that she’s still wanted.” Chanyeol sighed, nodding. He was too weak to say anything else.

“The sucking of the poison is very painful for her. She needs her mate. If you would do it, the poison will be gone in a few days.” When Chanyeol still didn’t answer, Kyungsoo patted his back once more and he stood to leave.

“Kyungsoo…”

“Hmm?” he turned around to look at Chanyeol. Only then he noticed how the biting affected him. He looked like hell- there were big bags under his eyes, his clothing hung on his disappearing frame and his shoulders seemed slumped with eternal luggage.

“Thank you. For everything.” Kyungsoo smiled softly.

“We’re brothers, Chanyeol. I would do anything for you.” At this Chanyeol smiled slightly.

“Even so. Thank you so much.”

-

You stirred when your bed dipped with another weight settling on it. Your fever had gone up again, so you didn’t recognize what was happening until the unknown person cupped the back of your neck and tilted your head to the side. Your blood started running faster as you realized what’s happening.

“No, Kyungsoo…” you whimpered quietly, your fists balling into his shirt. The body seemed different from Kyungsoo’s though.

“Please, no more…” you tried to cover the wound by tilting your head, but he nudged it aside with his nose. As you tried to fight back, more weight settled over you.

“Calm down, ___-ah…” a low voice rumbled above you and you suddenly knew who it was.

“Chanyeol?” he answered you with a hum, as he lightly licked your neck. Your breath hitched and you wound your hands around his torso, bringing him close. Chanyeol swiped his tongue over the wound once more before he closed his lips around it, giving it an experimental suck. He shuddered when the bad blood entered his mouth, but it didn’t stop him from sucking harder. It was much different, the cleansing with your mate. It was almost pleasurable for the first seconds and you pushed him down onto you some more, panting quietly. Chanyeol paused a while to spit out the venom in his mouth before diving in for more. This time, it was more uncomfortable, and you squirmed against him, your hands bunching in his shirt and tugging on it, to pull him away. He stayed relentless though, as he sucked harder. The first hard suck was painful.

“Chanyeol…” you whimpered, squirming some more. Once again, he leaned away to spit out.

“One more time, baby.” He assured you, closing his mouth around the wound again.

It was painful the last time, just as it was with the others. You arched your back, trying to get him from you, you tried swinging your head from side to side, but Chanyeol’s hold on you was tight, not letting go until you actually screamed out.

He quickly spat out the remaining poison and had you in his arms in seconds, holding you against his chest securely.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m sorry…” he kept repeating in your hair, stroking it comfortingly.

It took a while for you to calm down and to realize that he was actually with you. After the week of separation, it seemed unnatural.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore…” you mumbled under your breath, holding onto him tightly. He reciprocated the grip, kissing the crown of your head.

“Are you kidding me? You’re my mate. I warned you about this before you signed your soul- it’s a job for life.” You giggled tiredly- the cleansing always had a dizzying effect on you- maybe because you lost a lot of blood.

“Will you stay?” you asked, looking up at him. You didn’t let him have much of a choice. There was a small chance he would be able to get out of the grip you had on him, anyways.

“Forever.” He said, kissing your lips.

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

[odderancyart]

A Few Days of Late Autumn

Happy Birthday, @kyuko-chan!!!

Here’s some Blackcherry High School AU!

...

26 October

We got a new classmate today. The entire school buzzed with the news this morning as gossip spread through the hallways. According to them, he had been expelled from the Royal Academy, which obviously means he must be rich as fuck: the Royal Academy is only for the absolute elite, after all. The children of politicians, CEOs, nobility.

Early this morning, while the sun still was low on the sky, I sat in my chair in the classroom – clad in high-heeled black boots, which I had polished until they basically shimmered in the light from the lamps, black and white striped jeans, and my hot pink turtleneck – with my feet thrown up on the table while Slim slept in his seat next to Blue (the idiot needs to go to bed earlier, for fuck’s sake, it’s not strange he’s always exhausted), and Jennifer was yelling about the latest episode of her favourite show, or whatever. Wow holy hell that’s one long sentence, huh? Anyway, that’s when we heard the doorknob turn. I threw my legs of the table, sitting properly, just in time before Ms. Toriel (our principal) stepped inside. I could see Blue elbow Slim awake in the corner of my eye.

Following Ms. Toriel, who as always wore a perfectly neat suit and, as always, was sneering – was the new kid. As I first saw him, I froze. I might’ve forgotten to breathe too? Not sure. He has a jagged scar running down over his eye socket, a bit like mine but less clean. A gold tooth, which gleamed in the sunlight coming in through the window. And he certainly knows how to dress: biker boots, torn jeans, and a black shirt with the Anarchy-symbol in red. Which, admittedly, is kind of weird from a member of the uppermost class, but whatever.

The most noticeable thing, however, was the fact that he had a cocky smirk on his face. I’ve never seen anyone look cocky in Ms. Toriel’s presence: she is fucking terrifying.

And yes, I admit. He’s fucking hot.

Seems like an asshole though, and a different kind than me. He leaned against the desk, despite Ms. Toriel’s awful glares, as she introduced him. “This is Red Gaster,” she said, and her dislike was very obviously in her voice. He didn’t seem bothered, though. Whispers filled the classroom – everyone knows the name Gaster. Is he related to Dr Gaster? The King’s advisor? He must be, mustn’t he? How many Gaster families can there be? “He will be joining your class from now on. Mr. Gaster, is there anything you’d like to tell your new classmates?”

“Hiya,” he told us, saluting lazily. His grin widened. “Nice to meetcha.”

His accent is… offensive. That’s all I can fucking say. That’s our accent, and it’s easy to hear it’s been trained in; and I can literally only think of one reason someone from his class would want to speak like us. I’ve heard what people say about it, after all. Heard how people judge those who speak like that. There’s a reason I’m training mine away. I highly doubt I will get anywhere in life while speaking like a ‘gutter rat’. But he can afford the luxury to sound like that for his own amusement, I suppose. If he’s a part of the Gasters, he can do whatever the fuck he wants and face zero consequences. Everyone would hire a Gaster, or let one into their university.

Fucking unfair. Bet I’m smarter than him.

Probably stronger too, even if he has big bones.

Life is unfair. That’s a lesson we’re taught early around here. No one will give a damn about you when you’re poor and working class. We’ve only got ourselves.

Well. Then Ms. Toriel gestured for him to sit, which he did, in the only free seat. Which happened to be the one next to me. I had known he’d sit next to me, obviously, since I saw the added seat when I entered the classroom, but my soul still skipped a beat and I wasn’t sure what to do because fuck he’s hot but god he already makes me angry.

So I just nodded.

“Hello,” he said and made himself comfortable, and then our teacher entered and began the lesson.

Even though he made one or two attempts on talking with me I didn’t humour him: I don’t talk during class. Even if I was tempted, for some reason. If I did, I’d never learn anything, get detention, and get stuck in this shithole forever, and I have aspirations. Not a goddamn chance I’ll let some random, if good-looking, stranger stop me from reaching my dreams.

Later that day, as I was hanging out with Blue and Alphys at lunch – I still regret introducing them goddammit they won’t stop ganging up on me and they’re both committing treason – we saw Red hanging over the fence. He was talking with another skeleton in a fancy suit – the school uniform of the Royal Academy, I believe. Their suit was lazily put on, though, and their tie not even tied. Fucking hell that’s so ungrateful. And I heard him say, “Yeah I’ll take this school with storm, man. They won’t know what hit them.”

Which is bullshit. Watch this privileged asshole not surviving a week in a public high school. I am shocked he didn’t throw a fit when he saw the food.

 27 October

Alright… I admit, he’s fitting in surprisingly well. Still a fucking asshole, but perhaps our kind of asshole rather than the kind I expected from someone from the cream of society. He’s absolutely related to Dr Gaster, though, seeing how a tall skeleton who appears to be his brother – who is also handsome as fuck why that’s so unfair – in a fancy red cabriolet which carried Gaster Industries’ mark picked him up after school yesterday. And today he came on a fucking motorcycle. Because of course he has a motorcycle. Of course he drives motorcycles.

It’s beautiful. Sleek and black with red details. A Ducati. Oh my stars I- Oh fuck it yeah I am jealous as hell it’s absolutely gorgeous and I’ve been dreaming about driving one like it for years. One day, Razz. One day. I technically don’t even have my license yet, even though I can drive: I had a neighbour teach me, but we can’t afford the license for now. Once I get a job, that’ll be the first thing I save up to buy. And then, I will get a beauty of my own.

God I am squeezing my pen so hard right now. I want one so badly.

But back to Red: We sat together in class again, and we actually talked a little before class began. He seems to have learnt not to talk to me while class is going on already, that’s good. Today I was wearing a black and red rockabilly-dress, by the way, that I found in the thrift shop last weekend. It’s absolutely gorgeous. I think he noticed, I saw his gaze on it. That did feel nice. I do appreciate when people, even if they’re assholes, can recognize my beauty and sense of style.

Actually I think I like him a bit more now. Just a tad.

I did find out he doesn’t live at home. Imagine being able to move out at eighteen. I’d love to but well. Even if I could afford it, that’d end in catastrophe, because neither dad nor Slim knows how the fuck to care for themselves. When I came to visit they’d live in chaos and eat instant noodles for dinner every day. What would they do without me? How the fuck did we survive until I started taking charge, anyway? I mean dad can manage, obviously, but his standards are much too low.

So Red lives in an apartment just at the border between our side of town and the finer parts. Only two blocks away from another, richer, school district. And he has a brother, as I suspected, who is still at the Royal Academy and is planning on becoming a Police officer, and the dude I saw him talking to yesterday is his best friend and distant relative (second cousin thrice removed or something), Sans Gaster. And yes, he’s the fucking oldest son of Doctor Gaster, the country’s most prominent scientist and the King’s right-fucking-hand. What the fuck.

What the hell did he do to get expelled? Did he kill someone?

Anyway I have a History-essay to write, on the great monster-human war and how the Treaty was written.

 28 October

It’s Friday! Blue and I am going out on the new club down the corner, it looks awesome. Dad doesn’t want me to go, of course, he’s overprotective as always, but he knows by now that’s not going to stop me. It’s going to be great. Especially since I’ve already finished my homework for the weekend and so it doesn’t matter if we drink and stay up to six am and sleep until noon. Plus, I finally get a chance to wear my latest find: this short, black dress that’s all glittery. It’s fabulous, especially with a black leather jacket.

 29 October

I-

Last night-

Fuck.

I don’t even know how to write this down.

I’ll take it from the beginning.

So Blue and I went to the new club, and we looked fantastic. He had torn jeans and a tank top in dark gold with a leather jacket over, and I had my dress. The music from the nightclub was loud already before we came there, we could hear it down the streets. (I don’t imagine the residents were too happy but whatever.) After showing ID, we were soon allowed inside, luckily there was no queue.

And the inside was every bit as cool as we’d hoped. Flashing lights in rainbow colours, a dancefloor, a fucking smoke machine. The bar was crowded and served the most amazing drinks and it was so much fun. We danced for hours and probably drank a little too much, but we’re eighteen and it’s weekend so it was whatever. I haven’t had so much fun in weeks, and Blue chatted up this pretty girl inside. Not sure if he likes her or if it was just him being tipsy. Blue does become a flirt when he’s drunk he’ll even flirt with me. It’s hilarious. I mean he’s smooth as fuck, not denying that, but anyone would think it’s funny when your best friend-since-childhood is drunken-flirting with you and asking you stuff like “Are you a SAT? ‘Cause I’d do you for three hours and forty five minutes- with a ten minute snack break in the middle.”

Like I said, hilarious. I love drunk Blue.

But when we were going home. It was four am. And I don’t remember all of it, but I know what happened, more or less. We were tired, and giggly, and more than a little drunk. Being drunk doesn’t take away a lifetime of being on your guard, at least not for me, but it does take away my reflexes. Stupid. Why did I ever expect to be safe? Pure idiocy.

And suddenly we were surrounded. I can see them before my eyes. There were at least five of them, they were huge like mountains. And their eyes- So cold, so cruel. So greedy. I’m shivering at the memory of how their eyes racked over our bodies, like we were objects. I felt like someone had doused me in ice water and nausea rose that had nothing to do with me being drunk. It was terrifying. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I can fight, but again I was drunk and they were many, and bigger.

“Well, well,” one of them murmured, leaning toward me. I felt his breath on my face, gross and foul-smelling. They’d cornered us, and he put his arm next to the wall, and I threw out with my arm over Blue. He’s not innocent or weak in any way but he hasn’t been through the shit I have. So I feel like I should protect him, even if he hates it. “What do we have here?”

“Leave us alone,” Blue said, defiant as always. I could hear his voice tremble, though, and I think they did too because they laughed. Laughed.

Fury spiked through me and it only grew as another one added, “What’s two little sweethearts such as yourselves doing out here all alone, in the middle of the night? Lookin’ for some action?”

I punched the one in front of me. Straight in the face. And as he staggered backwards in shock, as the others processed, I grabbed Blue and ran. I can still feel the adrenaline pumping through me and my soul pounding in terror as we ran as fast as we could through the streets, hear the fast clicking of our shoes against the pavement. My mouth was dry as sand and I wasn’t even looking where I was going because I saw them follow us, yelling angrily. They were furious. Who knows what they’d do to us if they caught up?

We turned around the corner, and Blue was just a step before me now because he’s the fastest runner, and we ran straight into something soft on the other side. I froze, my breath catching in my throat as I forgot how to breathe, before I recognized the faces. Red. Red and his friend, Sans.

They stared at us for a moment before they heard the shouts, and I didn’t even know what to do so I grabbed Red’s wrist and pulled, yelling at him that we had to get out of here they were going to- I didn’t finish the sentence. I was afraid of what they were going to do when I couldn’t even access my magic because of the intoxication.

I’ve never seen anyone look so similar to dad as Red did in that moment. The absolute fury on his face, and he moved my hand to Sans, and Sans grabbed Blue. They only nodded at each other and then Sans pulled us into an alley nearby.

I remember screaming.

We were worried about Red, Blue and I – who wouldn’t be, apparently he was about to take on five men at once. But Sans, after introducing himself with a short “The name’s Sans,” told us to worry about our followers instead and I really didn’t give a flying fuck about them. My heart was still pounding so hard I wondered if it was trying to escape my chest as I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds.

Then, a Police siren came from the distance, and Red appeared in the entrance of the alley. “Oh fuck. Time ta leave.”

He and Sans brought us to Red’s apartment, which wasn’t too far away. They picked out some warm blankets for us and sat us down in the sofa. Red made hot chocolate for us both but I couldn’t finish it before I fell asleep. On Red’s shoulder. The next morning Blue and I woke up in Red’s bed, with the world’s biggest hangovers, and my soul was in my throat as I realized where we were, but I didn’t need to worry. He and Sans had both slept on air mattresses on the floor. That’s… surprisingly considerate, isn’t it?

They made us breakfast and ginger tea against the hangover, and Red told us what had happened last night, how he’d beaten up those creeps. He’s battle-trained, says his father made both him and his brother learn how to fight remorselessly. Which… okay yeah that’s attractive.

Now when we finally felt safe again, I listened and honestly? I can’t deny that he’s… nice. I… yeah. He’s nice. But that doesn’t at all explain why I constantly felt the urge to reach out and touch him when we were eating breakfast, or why I blushed as he complimented my dress. I’m confused and it’s annoying. The weirdest thing is that, when he patted my shoulder when Blue and I were going home, I didn’t want him to let go, and felt intensely aware of his handsomeness.

 1 November

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Yeah.

I spoke with Blue about it and he says I have a crush.

Dammit.

3 November

I have so much to write.

The past two days have been a rollercoaster and I’m all giddy right now. Slim actually checked in on me to see I’m alright because I was giggling to much. So yeah I absolutely had a crush on Red. And when we went back to school this Monday it felt kind of awkward and my soul did flips when he asked if I was okay. It might’ve been a little hard to speak to him too without stumbling over my words but I’m not confirming anything.

But he hung out with us all day, and he’s so fucking charming? I’m still thinking whether I should mention his accent or not, but god. He has these super dark jokes, and they’re the funniest thing, and I also found out he lets giggly. So I hung out with him after school and we went to the Starbucks on the corner and drank coffee, and he also tipped the barista really well. And we have so much in common? He was very happy to tell me about his motorcycle and we talked about astronomy and it just… worked.

It was kind of sad when I had to go home. But then- then.

He asked me out on a date.

And I gaped and could hardly answer him for a few moments, and he looked so adorably anxious as he smiled at me, and then I just threw myself around his neck and said yes, of course.

So after school today he brought me out on his motorcycle outside of town and it was amazing. I sat behind him on it, holding around his waist, as the landscape flashed by and the motor purred so wonderfully, and he was really warm in the chill of late autumn. We stopped at a biker bar far out on the countryside, where he seemed to know quite a lot of people. It was really nice, with an old jukebox and dim lights and, apparently, rivalling biker gangs who weren’t allowed to fight in there or they’d be forbidden to come back.

Red bought us soda and pommes and burgers, and we just sat there and talked and ate, and somehow, we began holding hands. I can still feel his fingers around mine. So warm and gentle. He smiled and told me, “You’re lovely.”

And then, on the way back, he let me drive a bit. And it was brilliant. His arms around me, and I couldn’t stop grinning as the motorcycle reacted to my smallest command. It was so… Oh, he leaned his head against my helmet and his ribcage against my back, my leather jacket, and we flew past nature on the empty highway, it was magical.

Unfortunately, the day ended much too soon, and he brought us back into town. And as he dropped me off, he hesitated, and he looked so handsome in the dim light of sunset in his biker jacket, and then he dismounted the bike, and slowly leaned in toward me until I could feel his warm breath on my face, and asked, “May I?”

I nodded, breathless, and he kissed me softly, embracing my waist. I grasped his face between my hands and held him, and I felt him smile into the kiss.

I couldn’t stop smiling as I stared after him as he jumped back on his bike and left, looking back before he disappeared around the corner. Then I went back in and told dad to shut up about my love life I’m legally an adult now and he can’t tell me what to do.

Oh stars I’m so happy I can feel my entire body tingling. I can’t wait for our next date.

[bcfphotography-blog]

The Fear

In a song called “The Fear” by indie band Lomelda, the titular fear is the fear of death, of being forgotten, of not being enough. Fear is an emotion that seems to dominate my life. Those concepts scare me, too, but so does simply talking to people, giving presentations, asking questions, doing anything incorrectly, failing, and so much more.

Everyone has the fear inside them, but some people feel it to a degree that is debilitating and unreasonable, and that’s when it earns a different name: anxiety. I have gotten so much better over time, but I still have a long way to go, and I have a feeling that I’ll still be taking the fear with me. Hopefully, I can get it to be more like an annoying teacup chihuahua than a monkey on my back.

You know the feeling when you misjudge where the last step on a staircase is and nearly fall over? That dreadful, panicky, stomach-dropping feeling? I once heard a joke describing anxiety as constantly feeling like you’ve misjudged that last step. On the precipice, nearly falling, fear coursing through your veins.

A glass sitting precariously on the edge of a table is a good representation of that feeling, too.

Living with anxiety is a little like living as a snail. Progress is made slowly, at your own pace, and the weight of life could easily crush you at any moment. While leaving its shell would kill a snail, the opposite is true for those with anxiety. Staying in your shell is lonely and nerve wracking, and trying your best to branch out is the key to leaving it.

You can never truly escape it; the shell is part of the fear, after all, but you can slowly learn to handle it and do the best you can despite your built-in setbacks.

Due to my anxiety, I couldn’t complete this project alone. I wanted to take pictures at school, an environment I often find myself stressed out in at best and terrified at worst, but I broke down and had to ask for the help of my lovely sister.

Anxiety can make you feel very, very alone. It’s like walking down a dark hall, and every face you catch a glimpse of in the murk is incomprehensible, unknowable, and is certainly judging you. I don’t have a shy bladder, but I prefer the almost-always-empty bathroom in the Industrial Tech building simply because it feels easier and less awkward for me, even if it’s on the other side of campus.

Like many, I’m fond of familiarity and routine. Between classes, I always sit at the same set of blue chairs in the Student Union. When I started my first semester at Fresno State, I had no idea what to do between classes and just sat outside wherever I was supposed to go next, but that was impractical, and now I’m most comfortable at the almost-always-empty chairs.

This picture is of the wrong blue chairs on the other side of the Student Union. The right ones are my best friends at this school other than my sister, and since I write in them a lot, I’ve joked that I’ll dedicate the book I’ll publish someday to them.

During my first year at Fresno State, I didn’t gain the infamous freshman 15. Instead, I lost 10 pounds due to simply not eating enough. I was too nervous to order my own food, too nervous to eat food I brought from home, and too nervous in my home environment to eat breakfast. On top of that, no one will teach me how to drive, so I couldn’t go home and eat something. On some days, I was there from 8 AM to 8 PM, eating only dinner with my mom after she picked me up.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten better at eating at school, but the fear hasn’t entirely left.

Ordering food for myself has been an absolute nightmare at times. Stuttering, freezing up, and wanting to cry and go home have all happened in the past, often in that order. I thought Tapingo would help, since you could order online, but at Subway, you still have to go to the counter and ask if your order is there, unlike Taco Bell which just sets the bags out.

I froze up, standing near the counter but unable to go up and ask for around 20 minutes before my sister thankfully intervened. Now, I’ve gotten more used to it and can do it myself, which is really great.

For a good while, I was too nervous to even use the vending machines on campus. It’s very silly, since that doesn’t involve talking to anyone, but I was afraid of somehow messing up or taking too long and bothering other people. I can use them with ease now, which I definitely appreciate.

My weight loss has been worrying to say the least, so I have started bringing these little Nestle brand bottles of what’s basically Pediasure to school just in case I am too nervous to get my own food. I also use them to get extra calories and other such to try to gain that weight back, but it hasn’t made a huge difference so far.

My mom and stepdad share a house with his parents and his sister, and though they’ve been nothing but kind to me, I’m just nervous around them. It’s hard for me to eat by myself there, since I feel like I’m intruding or in the way somehow even though it’s my house, too. This situation contributed to my weight loss, though I sincerely wish it did not.

This year, I’ve been staying at my dad’s house. There’s a lot less people there, so it’s quieter, easier for me to focus, and more comfortable for me to take care of myself. When I’ve gone back to my mom’s more recently, I’ve felt quite a bit better, but the fear isn’t gone.

I’ve been told that my anxiety only makes me rude and a burden upon others. I’ve been told that it makes me selfish, that I only worry about myself, that my anxiety is a facade, that I disregard the feelings and needs of others only to gain attention and sympathy for myself. I know that most of it isn’t true, but I still worry that I’ll never have a positive impact on the world around me, that I’m not, as the sticker says, a badass.

Last semester, I needed a lab book for my biology class, but I was too nervous to do it alone. I asked my sister to come with me, but she refused, saying she didn’t want to “enable me to be a fucking weirdo that never talks to anyone.” I had a breakdown, since I needed the book later that day, and she had plenty of time to help me. I eventually forced myself over to the bookstore only to find that it was out of stock, and I needed to print another downstairs.

Luckily, my sister changed her mind and decided to help me, but not without complaint, and she often tells me that my anxiety is inconvenient and annoying and that I do not try hard enough to fix it.

I’m pretty sure no one likes taking tests. Multiple choice is definitely my favorite kind of test, while timed essays are the absolute worst. I’ve frozen up and not written a single word before, which is obviously a terrible idea. I’d even get freaked out during math facts quizzes in elementary school, the little sheets with a hundred easy questions on them you had to fill out within a certain time frame.

Buying the scantrons was a problem for me, too, and I couldn’t do it by myself for a while. Contradictory to what my sister thinks, I’ve gotten better at that along with many, many other personally difficult things.

Recently, a band I really like had a concert at Strummers in the Tower District. I was the only person I knew who liked the band, so I ended up going alone. It was the first time I’d ever done something like that by myself, and I was a little nervous, but I had a fantastic time. If you are too young to drink, the employees will mark a large, black X on your hand, and I’m only 20.

This semester, I attended a sociology class on pop culture with a really cool professor. In April, he told us that he’d be doing a panel on comic book movies at Frescon, an anime and comics convention at Fresno State, and I was very interested in going. However, no one could go with me, so I went to a con by myself for the first time. Just like with the concert, I had a great time despite being very nervous.

A different professor did a panel on pulp magazines and said that anybody who wanted help getting published could go talk to him, and I did!I still need to email him a short story, but it was so great that I overcame my fear and did that.

When considering the charms on my backpack and the stickers on my laptop, it’s obvious that I’m a huge nerd. I love comic book movies, and I adore both Deadpool movies. At Dragon Ball and Heroes Con at the Fresno Fairgrounds, I actually cosplayed as a character from those films named Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and many people talked to me and took my picture, and I even participated in the cosplay contest. I have cosplayed in the past, but never at a con this big, and I had been even more nervous back then.