#ALSO NEED ME SOMEONE LIKE KUNIKIDA

[lotus-pear]

bsd fic authors i understand yalls pain SO well right now why is it so fucking HARD to write dazai. like i have a whole fucking spreadsheet dedicated to tireless analysis i have done on my part so i can accurately characterize him but he is such an unpredictable and morally gray character that it's hard knowing his limits and boundaries and where he draws the line for himself.

[littencloud9]

thinking abt kunikida in the sheep au…

[benetnvsch]

kunikida plushie quite literally the reason yesterday wasn't the worst day of my life LMAO

[note-boom]

Okay but what if we get a time skip or an arc where we see Kyouka save her own traumatised child from certain existential dread and despair? What will we do then?

[coolyiooo]

BSD Men : When They Have A Wet Dream About You

Pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, Chuuya, and Sigma

❗WARNINGS❗: SMUT, MDNI, wet dream, breeding kink, moaning, masturbating, arousal, groaning, moaning, public, praise and etc

Summary :They all start off with the wet dreams. They simply just have a huge crush on you

🖤DAZAI🖤

It would've been another normal day at the office if it weren't for you jumping on his cock. Nobody else was in the office, but anybody could've walked in at any moment. Dazai was sitting on his chair while you straddled his lap. Your tight walls were soaking his cock. You felt like heaven. If he relaxed even a little, he would cum instantly. He had to try his best to hold it in.

He couldn't help but moan and whimper. One of his hands was gripping onto your ass and the other was on your clothed breast. Your hands were messing up his hair and clenched tightly on his shoulders. Your moans made it hard for him to hold himself back from bending you over his desk. He wanted to fuck you vigorously.

"How were you worried about getting caught if your moaning this loudly~? Ngh~! So tight~" he moans

"I can't hold on much longer~ mmn~! god, I've never felt this good, Dazai~" you moaned

When you moaned his name, he almost came right then and there. He felt his orgasm and he was feeling a bit desperate. Using his hands, he made your hips move faster to quicken the pace. You moaned louder "Then cum on my cock, bella~ agh~! You feel too good~ I'm gonna cum so much~!" He whimpers

Both of your moans became louder and a couple more seconds later you came together.

Suddenly Dazai wakes up. He gasps a moan as he cums on his pants. His clenches tightly on his futon while gently arching his back. Ecstacy washed over his entire body. His body was hot and twitching from his climax. His cock throbbed aggressively inside his pants.

After he finished cumming, he was breathing heavily. His mind was blank, but as he calmed down from his orgasm, he remembered his dream about you. He wished it was real. He wish he could kiss, touch, feel you. It was like he needed you. Maybe he's only thinking this way because his mind is a little fogged up from suddenly waking up. He cleaned himself up before going back to bed. It took him a long time to go back to sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about you and the dream.

In the morning, he got up to get ready for work. He was still thinking about the dream. It felt too real to just forget about it. When he arrived at the office, he noticed that you weren't there yet. Since he didn't sleep well last night, he decided to sleep on his desk for a couple of minutes.He was woken up by someone shaking him awake

"Dazai, get up" you said in a soft voice

When he heard your voice, his mind went straight to how you moaned in his dream. He jolted a bit before looking at you

"Kunikida told me to tell you to do you work. Do you think I need to help you with your papers, again?" You asked him while raising an eyebrow and sounded slightly annoyed

He kept staring at you for a couple seconds. His cheeks had a small tint of pink. It didn't help that your hand was on his shoulder just like it was when he was dreaming about you "There's nothing I'd like more, Bella, but first I must go to the bathroom" he gave you a warm smile before he rushed off to the bathroom. You just looked him confused

When he made it to one of the stalls, he palmed his erection. Why did you have such a huge impact on him? His hands were moving on their own as his right hand began to stroked his cock. He wanted to stop but he also didn't. It felt too good. Images of the dream popped into his head, only fueling to his arousal and pleasure. He was panting quietly, trying not to be loud.

His hand was stroking his cock aggressively. He was so desperate to cum. He imagined fucking you like he did in his dream and cumming inside you. He didn't last very long after the thought of it. It wasn't even five minutes before he came. Cum was spilling out of his dick. His cock was Throbbing against his hand as he gasps. His cock was covered in his own cum, except, he only wished that it was covering your walls instead.

He walked back in the office to see you already doing some of his paper. You pulled up a chair next to his chair. He sat down and pretended nothing happened. He looked at you with a smile "if not doing my work makes you sit next to me, I might just never do it"

You rolled your eyes with a smile" I believe you, and because of that I'm never helping you again after today"

He gasps dramatically "that's so mean! But you said the same thing yesterday" he smirks while resting his head on his hand "do you have something to tell me?" He teases

You smirked and leaned towards him. His eyes widen slightly and his smirk went away. You rested your hand on his thigh which made him twitch. You chuckled softly before saying "You fucking wish"

You took your hand away and went back to doing his papers. He was dazed as fuck. He whined "don't play with my heart like that, bella" he cross his legs to hide his new erection, cursing himself.

You laughed "well, hurry up and finish your papers, idiot"

It's an understatement to say he's obsessed with you. He really hopes one day you can call him yours and he can call you his.

💚RANPO💚

He doesn't know how, but you were in his apartment and you were both on the bed. You were on top of him and riding him in a desperate way. His head fell all the way back, exposing his neck and Adams apple. His hands gripped your hips and digging his nails into your skin. His moans were loud but his whimpers showed desperation and how much pleasure he was feeling.

Your moans only made him tremble and closer to his release. "So amazing~ ah~! you feel amazing~!" You moaned

"I cant get enough of you~ mmn~! J-just like that, y/n~!" You suddenly jumped on his cock more quickly and rough. Pure ecstacy flowed throughout his body. You moaned louder and tightened more around him. "Y-y-yes~ ah~! don't stop~! I-im- gonna c-c-cum~!" He whimpered loudly

"Me too~! Mmn~ This feels so good~!" You moaned

His cock couldn't handle the pleasure of being around your walls anymore and came inside you. He arched his back and whimpered loudly. You did the same and came with him. His whole mind went blank for a couple of seconds. His breathing was shallow and his heart rate was quick. He suddenly woke up. It was morning and he was exhausted. He was beginning to move around, but felt something sticky in his pants. He looked down and saw the mess he made while he was asleep. He then remembered the dream he had of you and blushed.

He felt gross, not because of having a lewd dream but because of the gross feeling he made in his pants.He cleaned himself up and put on clean clothes to go to work. He was sitting at his desk and couldn't do anything besides think of you and eat his snacks. He stared blankly at his desk until you randomly threw some candy on his desk and slightly startled him.

"Thought you would like them" you simply said and gave him a smile

He looked at the candy and smiles "ooo~ someone's been thinking about me" he teases as he looks at you

"If anything, it looked like YOU were thinking about something or someone" you tilt your head at him "what were you thinking about?" You asked

He blushed since he couldn't tell you the truth. He began to whine "I'm simply bored!" He made an excuse

"That doesn't answer my question-" your sentence was cut off as he fake snores

You sighed and dead panned, but you just ruffled his hair and went back to your desk. When you ruffled his hair, he slightly leaned more into your touch. After the dream, he wanted to feel more of your touch. He wanted a real touch from you and not by some dream that his unconscious made for him. Before you left completely, he stopped fake snoring and said "give me a head scratch, y/n. That felt nice" he made another excuse

You chuckled "I'm guessing you haven't washed your hair and there's just a bunch of dandruff in it" you teased

He looked offended as you giggled at him "what are you talking about? Look at YOUR hair" he teased back

Now you looked offended "your hair is greasier than mine" you began to laugh

He smirked at you "you know that's not true. Compared to yours that is" he put his hands behind his head and laughed

You gave him an offended look, but he knew If he wanted you to scratch his head he'd have to apologize "I'm just kidding, y/n, but please scratch my head for the world's greatest detective" he smiled at you

You rolled your eyes playfully and smiled "just for a bit"

you began to scratch his head. He had a soft smile on his lips and sighed softly. He loved your touch. He felt at ease and comfortable when you did. You stopped scratching his head "now get to work" you smiled and walked away

He sighed and laid his head on the desk as if he was tired and bored, but he just didn't know what to do with himself besides just think about you, but he smiled to himself softly. Hes never felt so disappointed yet relaxed and happy. He didn't like this feeling, but for some reason, he couldn't help but think it also felt nice.

💜FYODOR💜

It was in the middle of the night. You sat on his desk with your legs spread apart and he was in-between them. His cock was feeling your tight, wet walls for the first time. His legs were slightly trembling. His body only felt immense pleasure. He fought the urge to cum by closing his eyes and focus on something else just for a few seconds. He gripped so harshly on your hips that he'd probably leave bruises there. You moaned softly while gripping onto his shoulders. Your hand was clenching his hair. He moaned softly as well

"amazing- ah~ oh, lyubov~" he had a soft smile on his face.

He loved seeing how good he was making you feel. He loved how you were both one. He loved this moment. "So good~ faster, Fyodor~" you moaned in a pleading way

He pressed his forehead against yours and chuckled softly. His pace became faster and you both moaned louder. Your walls tightened and twitched around his cock. He was deep inside you and hitting all the right places. You arched your back as he kissed your neck "so beautiful~ your mine now, love~" he moans against your skin

"I-im- going to- c-cum~!" You moaned

"Me too, love~ ngh~ don't hold back~" He went faster and just as he was about to cum, he wakes up while breathing heavily. He cums in his pants as he gasps. He closed his eyes and felt the ecstacy go throughout his body. When he finished, he was panting heavily and slowly remembered the dream. He sighed from slightly being disappointed in himself. He got up and out of bed. He realized it was 3 am and decided to go take a cold shower.

It was morning now. He was working on his monitors and you saw him. He seemed to be focused as you walked towards him. "Good morning, Fedya"

He realized that you were there and looked at you with his normal calm face "good morning, y/n" he looked at you as you walked towards him

"Have you been working all night again?" You sigh slightly disappointed in him as you begin to sit on his desk

He noticed you sitting on his desk and remembered that that's where you were sitting when he dreamed of you last night, but he ignored it "I couldn't sleep"

You hum in response, understanding his reason, but you smirk "were you dreaming about me weren't you?" You joke

His eyes widen slightly but he decided to joke along too "wouldn't you like to know" he teases

You chuckle "how rude, and I was going to make you breakfast, but I guess you don't deserve it" you get off the desk

He chuckles "I'd appreciate it if you did"

You sigh to pretend your annoyed "I guess I will" but before you left you kept looking at Fyodor's face.

You noticed how tired he look and he looked back at you He didn't say anything but was curious as to why you were staring at him. You tilted Fyodor's chin up slightly to get a better look at him. He looked at you with a slight surprised look. "you need some sleep, Fedya. After you eat, go sleep" you told him softly. You just cared about his health

You walked away and left him slightly Flustered. He smiled to himself softly . He loved your touch and how you cared about him. It seemed like this crush wasn't going to die down any time soon.

💙ATSUSHI 💙

You were underneath him. Your hands were on his back and his forehead was on your shoulder. His hands struggled to hold himself up from the overwhelming pleasure. He moaned loudly but so were you. Your moans were beautiful. It was a way of you telling him that he was doing a good job at satisfying you. Your skin was soft and your body was perfect just like you. Your walls made him unable to think about anything else besides you. His pace was fast but gentle. Your legs were wrapped around his hips to feel him deeper inside you. Every touch you made on his skin was just pure pleasure to him because he was sensitive.

"Your so beautiful~ mmn~! how did I get so lucky?" He whimpered

You put a hand on the back of his head "this feels good~ ngh~ don't stop~" you moaned

His pace became faster and a bit rougher. He wanted to treat you gently and give you a perfect experience. You arched your back slightly and scratched his back gently. You kissed his neck and shoulders lovingly as if you truly admired him and his body.

"Your doing good~ mmn~ just like that, Atsushi~" you moaned against his skin He gasps slightly

"Your so perfect~ ah~ i- can't hold on anymore~" he whimpered

"Me too~ ah~ don't stop~" you pleaded

His thrusts became faster. The pleasure was unbearable for him now as he lost his limit and came and you soon came with him. Your body's were trembling and your hearts were pounding. You moaned loudly and he was in pure ecstacy.

He opened his eyes and was sweaty. He saw it was morning, but he felt gross and sticky. He looked down and saw a wet stain in his pants and immediately remembered the dream. He felt disappointed and embarrassed. He quickly got up and changed and put his dirty clothes in a washing machine. He even took a quick shower to clean himself before work.

He made it to work and started to do some papers on his desk. He noticed that you weren't there yet. After a couple of minutes he heard "good morning, Atsushi" you smile at him

He jumps at bit and blushes slightly "o-oh g-good morning, y/n" he stutters

He couldn't even look at you, but you didn't pay much attention to that. You noticed how red Atsushi was and got concerned for him "are you alright, Atsushi? Your cheeks are red" you tilted your head

He couldn't be blushing because you did literally nothing, right? He blushed more and looked at you "u-uh yes! I promise you I'm ok" he stammered a bit and afraid he was gonna make it obvious

"Are you sure? Do you have a fever?" You gently put your hand on his forehead to feel his temperature Your touch made him blush even more

"i-i I'm sure, thank you!" He grabbed your hand and placed it on the desk. He still didn't make any eye contact with you

"did I do something wrong?" You asked worried

He looked at you shocked. He was finally making eye contact with you "n-no! It's just- i- " he looked away for a second "I've just been ... Stressed" he made a small excuse

You looked at him with a bit of worry "then...let's go out after work. You deserve to have your mind free of whatever makes you stressed...if that's ok" you asked

He looked at you and blushed. You seemed to really care about him "i- I'd love to" he smiled softly

"We can buy some tea on rice. You love those right?" You smiled back

He looked at you with so much appreciation. How did you remember that he loved tea on rice? He gave you a warm smile "I'd love that" He loved how you appreciate him, notice his abilities, and comfort him when he can't do so himself. He can't thank you enough for everything you've done and made him feel. He really does like you

🧡CHUUYA🧡

You were both in his apartment a d on his bed. You were on top of him and jumping in his cock. His head was on the pillow and his back slightly arched. His eyes were closed and a small smile was on his lips as he moaned. You were finally where he wanted you to be and you seemed to be made for him. His hands rested on your thighs. Your hands were on his chest to keep yourself balanced. Your moans were so beautiful and such a turn on for him. He couldn't stop looking down at where you two are connected and how well he fits inside you. Everything is perfect.

"God, your so beautiful~ ngh~ I've been waiting for this for so long~" he groans

You chuckle softly "I've been waiting for you too~ ah~ this feels amazing~" you moaned as your pace became quicker

He suddenly flipped you over and got on top of you. He kissed your neck and started pounded into you. You gasp a moan and clawed his back. He thought you were so cute like this. He couldn't hold back anymore. He couldn't handle your tight walls anymore

"F-fuck~! I'm gonna cum~ y/n, I can't~" he groans as he struggles to hold on a little longer

"Im at my limit too~ mmn~ t-too good~!" You moaned

After a few more thrusts, he came inside you. His body was overwhelmed by peak pleasure and his arms were trembling. You came with him and both moaned loudly. He woke up in his bed slightly sweaty and hot. He felt sticky and wet in his pants. He looked under his blanket to see a wet spot on them. He felt disgusted yet disappointed, but only because he wished the dream was real. He went to clean himself and went to work.

You and him were partners for a mission Mori sent you both on and he seemed a bit more extreme. He seemed more pissed off and annoyed at the thugs you two had to deal with. He basically beat the shit out of them in less than a second and seemed to be in a rush when there was no need to be. He couldn't even look at you in the eye, hell, even in the morning he seemed to not necessarily ignore you, but he seemed to have something in his mind.

After the mission you finally spoke up. You were walking beside him "Is there something bothering you, Chuuya?" You asked with concern in your tone

He jumped a bit when you finally spoke, but he just sighed "yeah, is it that noticable?" He was honest

You giggled softly "You just seem more pissed off than usual today"

He looked at you confused "what does that mean?"

You laughed "well, whats been on your mind?" You asked curiously

He blushed and looked away from you "nothing important"

You rolled your eyes, not believing his words. You threw small punches on his shoulder "your lying" you whined slightly

He scoffed and rolled his eyes "well, I was just pissed because I wanted something to be real but it wasn't"

You didn't exactly get what he was saying "what do you mean?"

He stopped walking "you know when you want something but your too afraid to reach for it?" He asked softly while looking ahead of him and then looked at you. His eyes were soft and kind

You blushed slightly and thought about his words "I know exactly how you feel"

He blushed a little more. The way you looked at him made him think you were so cute. He looked away from you and you chuckled softly

You nudged him gently with your elbow "let's go out to drink! It's all on me" you wink at him playfully with a smile

He laughed a bit "alright, if you insist"

He would never admit it but he liked it when you nudged him or punched him gently. He always thought it was cute and he didn't mind the physical contact either. He realized it was a bit cold outside since the sun was setting and you didn't have a jacket or long sleeve. You were hugging yourself to try to warm up your body, but he then puts his jacket around your shoulders. You looked at him blushing.

He was blushing slightly while looking away "you idiot, why didn't you bring a coat?"

You laughed a little "thank you, in fact, good luck getting this back" you teased and smiled brightly

You two were bickering after that, but he loved these kinds of moments. He seemed happy with where his relationship with you is at, at the moment, but he hopes it soon becomes more.

💛SIGMA💛

You were both in the sky casino inside his office. You were sitting on top of his desk and he was pounding into you. Your foreheads were pressed against each other. He was panting and softly moaning and so were you. His eyes were closed as he was trying to focus more of the pleasure of your wet, tight walls and how it stroked his cock way better than he expected.Your arms were wrapped around him and his were on your hips. Your legs wrapped around his to push him deeper inside you and to keep him closer. He then put his hands on his desk and began to scrape the wood with his nails, leaving scratch marks on it.

He then suddenly began to kiss your neck and collarbone "God, your so perfect~ mmn~ I want this to last forever~" he moans against your skin

You held the back of his head "it can, Sigma~ mmn~ your mine and I'm yours~" you moaned

His thrusts became rough and fast. His hips hitting against yours and making a loud clapping sound. You both moaned louder and gripped onto each other more harshly. He decided to kiss your lips passionately as he thrusts quickly. He was at him limit and he could tell that you were too. Your moans were muffled by the kiss, but they were getting louder and louder. After a few more seconds, you both came together.

He then abruptly wakes up from his dream. He feels a wave of pleasure come over him and clenches his hands against the sheets. It felt like heaven and pure bliss. He groans deeply and breaths heavily. After his orgasm, his mind was only thinking about the dream. He felt disgusted with himself in more ways than one. He also didn't like that he had to change his clothes and clean himself up. He felt sweaty and tired from the intense climax and decided to get out of bed to deal with the mess he made.

It was finally morning and you noticed that Sigma seemed to be ignoring you. He doesn't want to but he can't even look at you in the eye without his body having a reaction whenever he does. He would have a hint of blush on his cheeks whenever he saw you and walked the other way. By the end of the day, you decided to go to his office and confront him. It wasn't out of the norm to just randomly walk into his office to chat with him since you were both just that close to eachother.

You walked into the office and saw him look immediately uncomfortable when he saw you "u-um what are you doing here? You can't be here I'm really busy-" he says slightly panicking

You ignored his words and just spoke up "did I do something wrong? If I did please tell me" you asked worried and nervously

He looked at you surprised, but then he looked away with embarrassment. He looked away "n-no, you didn't do anything wrong" he says softly

"Then why have you been ignoring me?" You were genuinely asking

He looks at you surprised again and then just sighs "I just- I didn't want to-" he couldn't make up an excuse, but then he saw you and you seemed really devastated.

He then gets up towards you and grabs your hands gently "I promise you, I'm not mad at you and you did nothing wrong...I'm sorry, for making you worry" he sounds genuine

He stared at your hands while he said these words but then finally gained confidence to look into your eyes. He blushed more, but he wanted you to believe his words. You blushed and then looked at your hands that were being held by his.

He then quickly let go of them "s-sorry, I shouldn't have done that" he scratches the back of his head and looks away

you smiled and scoffed "it's fine, I didn't mind" He looks at you with blushed cheeks.

You looked back at him for a few seconds but then quickly looked annoyed and kicked his leg gently, but still make him wince in pain "don't scare me like that, idiot. I thought I did something to hurt you and you just wanted to ignore me. Just tell me you don't like me"

He widen his eyes "n-no! That's not it! I really like you- I mean- not like that, but you know what i mean-" he sighs deeply trying to calm down "I'll make it up to you" he said calmly and seriously

You punched his shoulder gently "you better. You got me scared for nothing"

He sighs in a relaxed manner "of course, I'm sorry again "

You smiled softly "just.. don't do it again"He smiled back at you.

He liked thought you didn't mind touching his hands and that you seem to genuinely care about the friendship you two have. He hopes one day he can actually call you his

[sleep-0-deprived]

Hi, I hope you are having a good week and please take care of yourself, I don't want you to get sick. Please don't mind me I'm just obsessed with your writings and this is my first request so if I do something wrong please ignore it.

Can you write teacher Kunikida and bottom! student male reader smut? The reader is quite a troublemaker and Kunikida decides to give him a punishment.

Like I said, if there is a problem, please ignore it. Have a nice day and thank you💜

Detention~

Math teacher Kunikida x male student reader

Mdni female aligned dni this is an 18+ blog with nsfw content below the cut

A/N Sorry this took to long I have a full inbox currently but I am trying to push more fics out soon and I really hope I did your imagination justice and the reader is eighteen obviously anyway I hope you enjoy!

“Now, do you have any clue why you’re here this time?” Kunikida asks out looking over at you with a stern expression as he pushes his glasses back up watching your movements closely as you sit at a desk in the front office for your detention. “Obviously I do, I mean I’m sitting in detention for a reason dummy” rolling your eyes looking at your math teacher crossing your arms.

“you’re a damn brat aren’t you?” Kunikida asks with an annoyed look on his face as he glares at you walking over bending down to your height.

“Brats get punishments don’t they?” He says sternly “yeah but I’m not a damn brat” you huff out rolling your eyes before you can say another word his hand grips your shoulder pulling you from your desk as he drags you over to his teacher desk sitting in the office chair as he bends you over his knee “I think someone needs to be disciplined?”

He mutters as he pulls your pants down pulling your boxers down to your ankles “h hey what are you doing Mr doppo?” You ask all flushed and oddly turned on despite the taboo nature you were eighteen and you did have a crush on this teacher for a while but in a you didn’t think anything would happen sort of way.

“I said you needed to be disciplined, and clearly no other methods are working are they?” He grunts out as he raises his hand high delivering a harsh slap to your left cheek leaving your s/c skin red with his hand print left in the wake “o ow sir!” You yelp out jumping slightly as you lay bent over his knee bitting your bottom lip hissing at the sensation but also enjoying it as your cock twitches between your thighs.

“is something wrong?” Mr Doppo asks in his same stern voice as he uses his hand to pinch and rub the cheek he just slapped as he reaches his hand down between your legs stroking the cock between your legs as it pulses in his hand making you shudder arching bent over his knee “s sir~”

managing to muffle out a word with your breath heavy all flushed as your tip leaks pre cum down your shaft as his thumb glides over your tip smearing it around as he strokes you hard before pulling his hand off before you can even climax “why should I let you reach your climax? Clearly you haven’t been a good boy have you? That’s why I’m punishing you” Mr doppo speaks out as his hand traces up your thighs massaging your ass cheeks with you bent over in his lap.

Your eyes wide and your lips pressed down into a pout as you get spanked “I-m sorry sir~!” You gasp out not meaning it just wanting to get off hopping your words please him as you squirm raising your ass up more as he slaps your other cheek making you yelp.

“I’m not stupid, boy” Mr doppo says as he holds your ass cheek firmly before slapping it when it gets all red and sensitive making you moan a small gasp raising you ass up more as your cock leaks on his slacks while you try to rut your hips against the older males thigh only to get spanked harder.

“O ow sir!” Letting out a whine as tears well up in your eyes making you nearly cum at the same time, sensing this Kunikida stopped spanking you for a split second “if you can be good for me maybe I’ll let you cum but only if you act good, understood boy?” He asks as he shoves two fingers prodding your red cheeks apart spitting on your rim.

“I’ll be good sir~!” You Whine out as your rim puckers from the cold exposure as you lay bent over the math teachers knee as his fingers press agaisnt pushing them both in stretching you “I hope you mean that boy” he grunts as he pushes both his fingers inside you as your walls tremble around him while you squirm adjusting to the feeling before he starts moving thin inside your ass.

“Mhm sir~” your head falling forward as you lay in his lap feeling his fingers rubbing right on your prostate curling as he pinches your ass cheek harshly with his free hand before his fingers move faster stretching your rim around his finger as they hit your deepest parts.

“Your tight aren’t you? Don’t tell me such a bad boy as yourself is a virgin is he?” Mr doppo coos teasing you as he curls his fingers putting pressure right on your prostate before you can speak as you lay bent over his knee in your detention gasping with your face all flushed humiliated at the truth in his words.

“N-no mhm not~” lying out as you gasp with your pre cum dripping onto the school tile floor making it shine slick as his fingers move harder making you on edge about to cum “now I don’t believe those words, your face is so flushed boy” Mr doppo hums pulling his fingers out of your hole leaving you on edge as you let out a frustrated whine.

“Hey! You said you’d let me cum sir?” You croak out as you lay exposed all hard with your hole stretched as it puckers around nothing “did I? Hm? I don’t remember saying that but if you wanna cum your gonna cum around me boy” he grunts picking you up and sitting you face down ass up across his desk making his papers flutter across the room falling on the floor.

“Hurry up Mr doppo I needa cum!” Begging out to your math teacher as the sound of shuffling fills the room when he undoes his belt buckle pulling his slacks down holding your hips as he pulls his cock free from his boxers stroking it, he was clean cut eight inches hard and clean shaven with a small patch of blond pines around his shaft as his tip leaked precut all puffy and pink as he positions himself against your ass running his leaking tip right against your prepped hole smearing his pre cum around on you.

“Use your manners, good boys say please don’t they?” Teasing your hole with his tip not pushing in yet waiting for you to beg before he does so “please sir I really needa cum I wanna feel you in me so bad!~” begging out raising your ass up more as he finally holds your hips thrusting in quickly making you hiss in pain.

“shh your doing good it’ll only hurt for a minute boy” his facade shifting when he sees your uncomfortable and adjusting to taking him, rubbing your sore ass cheek whispering out praises as his other hand rubs circles on your hips “you can m-ove sir~” whining out quietly as you hold onto the corner of his desk arching your back like a cat as he slowly thrusts forward holding your hip as his groin presses to your red ass cheeks.

“Mhm just like that, how does this feel?” Leaning down pinning you down harder on the desk using one hand pressing the arch of your back harshly holding you down on the desk as he starts to thrust snapping his hips with enough force to make you jerk forward while gasping “good sir! O oh~” moaning out placing one hand over your mouth not wanting any of the teachers or students hearing you getting fucked by your math teacher as his tip ruts right against your prostate making your eyes gloss over and your lips pouting and whining.

“Such a good boy” groaning as he holds your hips still staring to fuck you harder as he reaches his hand out from the arch of your back finding its way into your hair pulling it as he holds your head back grunting and bitting against the back of your neck as he pistons his cock into you making your walls clamp tight sucking him back in as your cock leaks pre cum on his desk showing how close you were as the desk beneath you creaks and the front office fills with the sound of skin slapping.

“A ah sir! H hm more I’m close~!” Begging shamelessly as you try to muffle your words with your hand blushing as your eyes roll back drooling on yourself as it runs down your chin making you whine as your ass cheeks get slapped by his hips as he rams right against your prostate making your rim stretch wide around him taking every inch of him as his hand holds your hair tight and the other gripping your hip with a grunt.

“Cum for me boy show me how good you feel” muffling out his words as Mr Doppo kisses your neck sucking on it as he ruts his hips into you making your body twitch and spasm as your cock pulses throbbing hard shooting white liquid ropes all over your math teachers desk making the ink on his papers smear but he doesn’t care about that right now as he keeps ducking you harder groaning chasing his own high.

“A ah!~ f fwuah~!” Crying out as you gasp twitching in your after glow as you get fucked through your orgasm “fuck!” Grunting as he pulls out of you cumming all over your red ass cheeks letting rough gasps out as his lips vibrate against the back or your neck his hips stuttering as he lets go of your hair holding onto you tightly as his body weight holds you under your math teacher with your knuckles trembling your hand letting go of his desk.

“You did so good for me boy” whispering in your ear panting as Mr Doppo uses one hand to hold your chin biting on your bottom lip with a growl as he kisses you all sloppy with your drool mixing with his as you come down from your high.

[reallyromealone]

Since requests are open I hope you mine too much it I put this in sorry, if so could i get Dazai x jessica rabbit male reader where Dazai is like his "roger rabbit" uninterested in others who flock to him for nothing but their looks and absolutely adoring towards Dazai, tall as fuck and sexy feminine that is intimidating?

Title:

Fandom: bungou stray dogs

Pairing: dazai x male reader

Type: fluff

Warnings: reader has a body type

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

(Name) had his target set as he strutted through the street, anyone and everyone stopping to see such a beauty that had everything in the right places, a gaze that could melt the strongest of man into putty.

And it could, people swarming him for his attention but (name) didn't even give them a glance as he continued his mission to find his silly little husband.

"(Naaaame)~!" The handsome man waved, the crowd looking confused at the bandaged man who wandered towards (name) "took you long enough~" the crowd looked agape as the brunet took (name)s hand"excuse me--" someone tried to speak up but the cold expression (name) gave shut them up fast as he let himself be led off by Dazai.

"Whose that?" Atsushi asked Kunikida who sighed "that is (name) Dazai... His husband" the white haired man looked at the pretty man terrified but also facinated as he had Dazai in his palms like putty. It was fascinating to see someone as sophisticated and suave as (name) and dazai who kept making shitty jokes and surprisingly (name) laughed at them, his laugh warm and inviting and perfect.

"Now come Osamu..." (Name) smiled down at his husband, Atsushi now realizing how tall (name) was, a staggering 6'4" compared to dazai who was just shy of 6', he could have anyone yet he chose a suicidal man with a horrible sense of humor.

Loving him despite everything about him.

(Name) hugged and doted on dazai, the former mobster looking smug as hell when he caught gazes of (name)s envious fans.

"So how did you two meet?" Atsushi asked curiously and (name) smiled "I was a singer at a night club, we were just teens but my dad-- the club owner-- thought my voice would be great business... And that's how I met him, he was visiting with some friends..." It was actually for a drug trade but they didn't need to know that tiny detail "you sing?" Kunikida didn't even know this information and (name) smiled as he played with dazais hair "he's the best singer" dazai said smugly as his hand gently caressed (name)s side, the four going into a diner.

"Hi~ can I get your order?" The waitress asked with a flirty grin, (name)s sweet grin to Dazai morphs into a passive look, he never cared for people who flirted with him unless it was his husband "(drink) and what do you want starlight?" (Name) asked dazai who if looks could kill, both him and the waitress would have murdered each other fast.

"I'll just steal from yours~"

(Name) glanced at the waitress and with a civil smile he speaks once more and despite the coldness in his tone, the waitress swoons once more.

Dazai felt for his husband, (name) was never seen for more than his looks by many and it got frustrating, dazai won his heart in his own dazai way.

Shitty pick up lines.

"That's how he got you?" Atsushi and Kunikida were unimpressed as (name) beamed, his beauty making the other patrons swoon "he's the only one who tried to make me laugh, not get in my pants"

The dates he took him on weren't fancy romantic ones but cute dates, once at a cat cafe and another where dazai attempted to make a romantic meal, ending with take out and Dazai sleeping in (name)s shirt.

"You two are weird"

"At least we aren't single ~"

[tender-rosiey]

Hello there! If it's not a bother,i wanted to request Chuuya,Kunikida and Akutagawa getting into a fight for us and the reader's reaction? the other person might have badmouthed the reader and that caused the character to get into a fight with them. Thank you!! <33

“WATCH YOUR MOUTH”

— dazai, kunikida, chuuya, and akutagawa fighting someone who badmouthed you

a/n: also especially posted for @dazaiaiko cause it has been while since I uploaded something bsd related

DAZAI OSAMU:

"hello there!" dazai greets as he enters the bar. he, with a birth smile, takes a seat at the table with two men, "pleasure seeing you here."

one of them snaps at him, "the hell is your business here, kid?"

he waves his hands in innocence, "hey now, no need to be so aggressive! I just came to have a pleasant chat with you guys about something...rather personal."

"it just so happens," dazai continues, interrupting the man's response, "that you've badmouthed my dear lover," he closes his eyes as he smiles, "that isn't something I am fond of."

the man laughs, "so you here to pick a fight, ay?" the man tries to get up but is hindered by something rather painful. namely a knife grazing his thigh.

"don't cause a scene now; I would hate having to clean up after your mess."

the man frantically nods. dazai then retracts his knife, nestling it safely in his pocket.

he simply thinks that no one should be allowed to treat you like that so this should act as a warning. that if he ever tried insulting you again, there will be consequences.

dazai laughs, "that's good to hear!" he stands up, dusting his brown coat, and heads to the door, "hopefully we don't meet again...for your sake."

soon, he is at your door with a bouquet of flowers. the moment you open the door, you're greeted by his beaming smile, "hello, belladonna! you look as lovely as usual!"

you roll your eyes, leaning on the door, "what has brought you here, 'samu?"

"my heart simply yearned for one y/n l/n," he hums and you chuckle.

you take the bouquet with a grateful smile, "I think you just came for the crab salad I made."

he presses a kiss to your cheek before letting himself in, "that is merely an added bonus, my dear," his arm wraps around your waste, "I am here for you, you should know that."

"I also know that you went to the bar to threaten that one guy."

he pauses, "...really?"

"mhm."

"darn."

KUNIKIDA DOPPO:

to unwind, you deicided to take your husband on a date to the cafe under the agency. you were having a good time in general, but kunikida couldn't help but notice the people in the adjacent table talk about you.

"what's wrong, doppo?" you ask, your hand resting on his own.

he looks up at you with a smile, gently squeezing your hand, "it's nothing; don't worry about it."

you smile and continue on your conversation. all seems to be normal but then kunikida hears something that he simply can't let go.

he abruptly gets up and headed towards their table. he towers over them as he asks, “do you have any business with us?”

they exchange looks with each other before one of them speaks up, “well—“

“then I would appreciate you if you keep quiet.”

they quickly shut their mouth and before kunikida turns back to walk to you, he looks down at them and says, “let’s keep things civil for your sakes.”

the men don't let the threat slide and one of them tries attacking kunikida. he swiftly dodges and grabs him by the collar, pushing him to a nearby wall, "surely what I said was easy enough for you to understand."

the guy, terrified, nods quickly and kunikida releases him, letting him fall to the ground. the guy scrambles to his feet and his friend soon follows suit.

kunikida pushes his glasses up with a sigh before he turns to you, "sorry for my reaction, but—"

he stops in his tracks when he sees you looking at him in awe and with a silly little smile on your face, "aww, you love me!"

he looks at you, confused, "of course, I do."

you tackle him in a hug that he doesn't hesitate to recporicate, albeit with a hushed whisper, "y/n, pda is unacceptable!"

you press a kiss to his cheek and he quickly shuts up. y/n used kisses: very effective!

NAKAHARA CHUUYA:

you and your husband were walking the streets, jumping from shop to shop. of course, it was fun and it helped that your husband is very engaging and tells you what he thinks and genuinely suggests outfits.

you stopped at a particular shop, though it was one that you already had something in mind to get.

so chuuya left you to your own devices, but as he was chilling, he overhead people talking about you in a rather unpleasant manner.

so he went to you, pressing a kiss on your cheek and telling you he had to quickly check something, then he followed them outside the shop.

because of their wonderful luck, they enter an alleyway. chuuya smirks before going in after them but they have yet to notice him til he speaks, "what do we have here?"

they snap their heads towards him. one of them snarls at him, "the hell you want?!" and chuuya's eyebrows furrow.

"I will just teach you a lesson," he smirks before slamming the guy's head to the wall. the other one sees the scene unfold and attempts to run away. chuuya doesn't let him get far.

soon, they are both beaten to a pulp and chuuya dusts his hand.

one thing that chuuya likes to remind people is to never badmouth you.

alas, some are simply unfortunate.

so with his head high and chest puffed out, he heads back to the shop.

though, he is met by a very angry you who grumbles, "nakahara chuuya."

he tenses up and smiles at you, "heyyyy babe, how was it?"

"what did I say about beating people up?"

the disappointment in your eyes hits him hard then he frowns, slightly blushing, "listen, they should know better than to speak about you like that."

you sigh, pressing a kiss to his cheek. what's done is done and you can't change anything. you also can't complain about having a husband who always has your back.

"won't tell me I am your strong husband at least?"

locking arms with him, you roll your eyes, "you're my 'strong' and 'handsome' husband."

he laughs before nudging you lightly with his elbow, "now what shop do you wanna go to?"

AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE:

a normal evening: you were chilling on your couch, scrolling through your phone.

you didn't think that anyone would show up at this late hour. and even if they did, one expects a delivery man to come knocking on their door, not their nationally feared boyfriend injured and using the door for support.

thankfully though, he isn't in a terrible shape, but he has sustained quite the injury, if the stagger in his step is anything to go by.

"ryu!" you gasp as you run to steady him, "what happened?"

you gently lead him to the couch where he finally sits down, letting a tired sigh. he avoids your eyes for a moment before speaking up, "just had a fight with some people."

you frown, inspecting his injuries, "what did they do? anything related to the mafia?"

he shakes his head as he watches you get the bandages and whatnot. you settle in front of him and he hesitantly shows you the injury. your eyes brim with worry and you instantly start tending to them.

after a couple of moments, his hand moves to rest on your head, "they were...badmouthing you."

you freeze and look up at him. he frowns, a little defensive, "what? I hate anyone who talks you down."

a small laugh escapes your lips as you press a kiss to his cheek, "what did I say about getting into unnecessary fights?" you hum and almost coo at his blushing face.

he averts his eyes and grumbles, "that was very much necessary."

"you could've just ignored them," you quirk an eyebrow at him and he ignores your reprimanding, firmly believing that fighting for your honor is worth every injury he could've gotten.

you cup his face, "ryu," you caress his cheek and he grumbles making you giggle before continuing, "I just don't want you to get hurt even for me."

he sighs with a small nod. his shoulders relax upon seeing your smile, though he avoids telling you that he will, without hesitation, get in another fight just for you.

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies @pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @jisbizarre @kunikida-simp

copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[eloqiu]

Spoilers for BSD ch 117

Oh boy.

Max copium! I choose you!

After the little scene with... Fukuchi, I did some slight research.

My conclusion? The ADA and verse will live.

As you can see, the symbol behind Fukuchi is the similar to a the symbol to the right, which belongs to a religion known as Tenrikyo.

Tenrikyo is a religion where their deity is viewed as the parent of all of humanity.

In the image above, you can see Fukuchi showing almost "motherly" care for Kunikida. As if he's comforting his hurt child.

When Fukuchi kills someone, they become bubbles and then he swallows them.

Bubbles, are clean and clear. The opposite of dust.

Now, I hear you guys "Eloqiu, what does this have to do with the ADA being alive? Are you off your meds?"

No, I am not off my meds, and let me continue.

Something to note about Tenrikyo, is that it doesn't believing the afterlife. It instead believes in reincarnation.

"The soul comes back to this world after borrowing a body from God."

Along with that:

When Fukuchi "kills" someone, the only thing left of them is their clothing. Which may be symbolic of death. (Osayama is the creator of the religion, for anyone who didn't know.)

And also...

(Which could mean that Fukuchi is still alive)

Taking in the reincarnation, bubbles, and symbolism...

Fukuchi is currently collecting the good deeds of each person. So that he can give them a new body. (AKA reincarnate them)

However, considering that the real Fukuchi is probably still in there, there's still a chance that this could be stopped.

So here's my (maximum copium) plan on how this will end:

The ADA must defeat Fyodor first, he seems to be thing that's ordering Fukuchi.

Once they've defeated him, the real Fukuchi will take back his body. (Most likely with some encouragement from the remaining Hunting Dogs, and Fukuzawa)

Then Fukuchi will release the souls by offering his "body from God", ultimately sacrificing himself.

The live happily ever after

Easier said then done...

(I did this all in like, 20 minutes. So forgive me if some information is incorrect)

EDIT:

I found this detail interesting, and decided to screenshot it. While I was researching any relations Tenrikyo had with books... (Like the book in the BSD verse)

(This was written by the creator of the religion. Featuring all the teachings of the religion.) Coincidence??? (Probably.) I THINK NOT!

(EDIT 2: I need a life...)

The god form of Fukuchi, was introduced in chapter 115. (Is that was chapter 114.5 exists? So that God form Fukuchi would be introduced at exactly chapter 115?)

[literatureloverx]

Mdni, ideal type! fem!reader x Dazai Osamu, VERY LONG AND DETAILED, platonic relationships such as: Odasaku, Atsushi, Kunikida, Chuuya and Sigma are briefly mentioned, Yandere behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, psychological disorders and suicide/double suicide mentioned.

DAZAI’S MASTERLIST => HERE

I enjoyed writing for Dazai very much, he has a big place in my heart.🩵 I received a request regarding PM!Dazai’s ideal type as well, I’ll post it in a few days.🩵

Dazai’s ideal type

Dazai is a complex and enigmatic figure, who can be described as a romantic—though not in the conventional sense of actively seeking love and connection.

Instead, he romanticizes the idea of meaningful connections. What does this mean?

Dazai is known to suffer from depression and harbors a deep desire to end his life.

However, he doesn’t wish to do so alone. He fantasizes about dying with a “beautiful woman” in a double suicide, which is inherently romantic.

This desire echoes tragic love stories like Romeo and Juliet or Cleopatra and Mark Antony, where love and death are intertwined.

This suggests that Dazai may deeply fantasize about love and being loved—perhaps even yearning for someone who loves him so much that she would sacrifice her life for him.

But why would someone wish for a double suicide in the first place?

Dazai sees no purpose in life, a perspective not commonly shared by others.

This makes it likely that his ideal partner would be someone who not only values life but is also grateful for what she has—because Dazai is only truly comfortable when he is surrounded by such people as Atsushi, Kunikida, Chuuya (debatable), and even Sigma.

He needs to learn this perspective to find his own meaning in life.

She would possess a sweet, positive spirit but would still be able to fully grasp Dazai’s bleak outlook, his feelings, and his philosophy—or the lack thereof.

Dazai might be drawn to a partner who is calm, patient, and nurturing.

Given his often childish behavior, it’s possible that he never had the chance to experience love in a normal, healthy way during his childhood.

We know little about his upbringing, but it’s clear he lacks any emotional connection or attachment to his parents.

Dazai is deeply wounded, depressed, and feels empty—though the reasons remain unclear.

The only person Dazai has truly loved, and who loved him in return, seems to be Odasaku.

So what makes Odasaku so special? What traits does he possess that Dazai might seek in a partner?

Odasaku was always calm and patient with him, seeing through Dazai’s lifeless eyes and empty heart.

He recognized Dazai's pain, suggesting that “someone needs to rip that pain out of this child’s chest.”

What if Dazai's ideal partner is someone who embodies these comforting and meaningful qualities, loving him unconditionally?

I believe this to be the ultimate solution to many aspects that trouble Dazai.

Teenage Dazai, in particular, strikes me as more of a “puppy” than the “cat” he becomes as an adult—craving affection and warmth.

He needed someone who cared for him, and that someone was Odasaku. His partner should be able to do the same.

Dazai might love a calm partner who can handle his antics but also sees through them without violating his comfort zone or coping mechanisms.

She would understand his inner darkness but wouldn’t fear it—instead, she would embrace it with a loving demeanor.

She would be confident, but in a strangely shy and quiet way.

She would be someone who is at peace with herself, someone who is inspirational to others.

She would accept him as he is and believe in him, helping him to become the best version of himself.

This is why Dazai is so fond of Atsushi.

Atsushi is empathetic, having suffered himself, and he embraces Dazai with unconditional love.

If Dazai were to meet a woman who could offer the same understanding and compassion, it’s hard to see why he wouldn’t be saved.

Dazai feels responsible for Atsushi, and it gives his life a certain meaning he doesn’t truly grasp yet.

If he felt the same responsibility for someone much closer to his heart—his lover—it would have a profoundly positive effect on him.

Regarding physical traits, Dazai doesn’t seem overly concerned with them.

However, he has expressed a preference for “beautiful” women, as seen in his desire to commit double suicide with one.

While physical beauty might not be his top priority, he likely appreciates aesthetically pleasing women.

Dazai claims to like all women, but I can imagine him being drawn to a feminine, quiet, and insightful young woman.

This woman would possess an innate ability to sense others’ emotions and motivations, her sensitive and calm nature allowing her to do so effortlessly.

She would be observant, with her beauty often leading others, including Dazai, to underestimate her at first.

And yet, it would be as if she could read his mind and heart—something deeply uncomfortable for someone as guarded and inflexible with his own vulnerability as Dazai.

Interestingly, some of these traits might also make her an ideal partner for Fyodor.

However, while Dazai and Fyodor are alike in some aspects, they differ in others.

Fyodor’s ideal type might align with Dazai’s, but with less submissiveness and more approachability.

Does it ring? The drama that might approach?

Let me summarize: In terms of personality, Dazai has a soft spot for empathetic and loving people.

Therefore, he would undoubtedly adore a darling who is very empathetic, sensitive, and kind.

I don’t see him having a specific preference for body type—short, tall, curvy, or skinny; it doesn’t matter to him.

He will always find a way to appreciate your body in every sense, as this is simply part of who Dazai is. You shouldn’t be surprised by that.

I can see Dazai taking a liking to long hair (similar to Fyodor), as it emphasizes femininity.

He might particularly favor wavy or curly hair because it gives a more approachable, sweet, and innocent appearance compared to straight or short hair.

This style implies youth and an ethereal quality, which aligns perfectly with Dazai’s romanticism.

Skin color, as well as hair and eye color, wouldn’t matter to him at all.

In his mind, he would view you, his love, as aesthetically ethereal and one of a kind.

Your features would be etched into the canvas of his mind's eye, surrounded by fitting backgrounds and colors.

With you, he would find solace, love, and acceptance, as well as the meaning in life he has been desperately searching for.

You don’t need to match his intellect or mastermind abilities; he cherishes those around him who don’t possess these qualities, and he doesn’t look down on them.

What he needs is someone empathetic enough (like Oda [ in his case platonically]) to love him unconditionally and sincerely, without judging him—someone who would guide him to the light without expecting anything unnatural or selfish in return.

However, his darling would need to be mentally strong and willing to share his burdens.

This is difficult to do and would only work with true, pure love, which is why Dazai needs someone who loves him unconditionally.

I don’t see Dazai manipulating his darling because he doesn’t manipulate or control the people he cherishes. Instead, he trusts them.

This would be the case with his darling as well. He would trust her, and this trust would be a choice that greatly benefits his well-being.

You would need to bring brightness to his life—love, warmth, connection, and compassion—balancing out his dark inner world.

He would be astonished when he realizes how deeply you love him without being manipulated, how pure your feelings are, and how you seem to see his soul and accept him as he is (much like Fyodor).

Your dedication to helping him improve, because you see the light and potential in him, would touch him deeply.

To you, he is human, and you wish to help him see that too. He loves you for it, so, so much.

Once Dazai recognizes this, he would never, ever let you go.

He might fear losing you or worry that you deserve better, but he would be too selfish to let you be with anyone else.

This would make him fiercely protective of you, even as he tries to maintain his enigmatic self, playing it off with his usual clinginess.

But of course, you would see right through this and reassure him that you’ll always be there for him, protecting him from anyone and anything else, even from himself.

In return, he would protect you, love you, and obsess over you—affectionately.🩵

TO MY OTHER WORKS => HERE

[deluxdollie]

S to F— a tier list of how healthy a relationship would be with these different BSD characters

Content warning: mentions of toxic relationship, manipulation, death, minor Spoilers (akutagwas part but there’s a warning) etc… this is also not edited at all.

Characters: Atsushi, odasaku, Tetchō, Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Yasano, Ranpo, Gin, Chuuya, Higuchi, Edger Allen Poe, Sigma, Dazai, Akutagawa, Tachihara, Ango, Jouno, Mori, Fyodor, Nikolai.

A/N sorry if theres any writing mistakes in this, I wrote this for eight hours straight with an ear infection and like four hours of sleep, so if there’s a spelling error please tell me.

S tier:

Atsushi(he’s shown to be very nice, always helping others, and in that one scene he bought a bunch of stuff for for koyaka to make her happy even though he didn’t have much money, he also help everyone without thinking and saves everyone despite their past EX: Koyaka)

Oda(Oda is shown to be a very kind person, who’s extremely kind Ex helping taking care of Dazai and watching over him, while having a strong moral compass, not wanting to kill anyone while having normal goals like wanting to be an author/wanting to wright, he also shows a lot of love for others, such as trusting Ango and jumping out a window and being completely ready to save the kids he was taking care of while before that making regular visit to them, probably one of the most normal people in the entire series. I don’t believe there would be many issues with him other than the fact he is dead. You could probably have a very healthy relationship with Oda.)

Tetchō(Tetchō is shown to have a lot of empathy and loyalty, such as when he stops Jouno from antagonizing Aya and when he fights Kenji so he can find Jouno to make sure he is alright. I honestly believe that Tetchō is probably one of the most normal characters in this series as of now. Of course there are the normal issues that I will be bringing up again and again such as you probably won’t be able to see him much etc etc, but relatively normal in my opinion. )

A tier:

Fukuzawa(Fukuzawa is shown to be someone that helps others and gives them a chance no matter what EX Ranpo and Yasano, But he is also a work alcoholic Ex that one scene that fukuchi said that Fukuzawa was still married to his work. It really depends on when you would start dating Fukuzawa but if it was earlier in life I believe he most likely would have broken up with you for his work(and also for you safety) but I think he would be on of the healthier options out of BSD cast)

Kunikida(other than Kunikidas long list of things he wants from his ideal women, I believe he would be a healthy partner. Kunikida is shown to on Multiple occasions to save multiple kids and risk his life, he also canonically makes sure to take care of Dazai and his other friends EX Katai. I honestly believe he would be a very caring person to date as long as you like a lot of plans and schedules.)

Yasano(I believe Yasano would be a very kind and caring person to date, though I believe she would be a bit of a handful at times, you would probably have to carry her bags around but I believe she would do anything to save you in a time of need, Yasano is shown to not be afraid to stand up to others EX that one scene where that one businessman was picking on her, asking if she what her job was and she said she was a doctor and she was about to break that man’s hands. Yasano is also shown to care of others she is close to EX that one scene where Ranpo and herself are in one of Poe’s books and she gives him her glasses to give him the motivation to solve the case in the book. I believe Yasanos love be more quiet but she would still make sure to show it.)

Ranpo(I believe there are many misconceptions about Ranpo, a lot of people mistake Ranpo as some super cocky at everything character, but they forget that Ranpo is not ashamed to say that he doesn’t know how to do things alone EX ride the train even though Ranpo is an adult and he’s not afraid to admit he can’t go alone on the train or that he’s not fit to be the boss of the ADA, he is only cocky in the means of his detective work, because he KNOWS he’s good, he’s not being cocky, he’s stating a fact, because Ranpo IS better than everyone else when it comes to him deducing things. Though Ranpo does have a blunt and sometimes arrogant attitude he can admit his short comings, like admiring that he couldn’t figure out one of the cases he was doing, or when he was 14 he admitted that he didn’t understand others. I think he would be interesting to date but he could be slightly overwhelming at times because he may sort of lazy, but I believe he would respect anyone he was dating like he respects Fukuzawa or Yasano.)

Gin(probably out of the two Akutagawa siblings, the least affected by their trauma. There isn’t much about Gin that is known to the anime and I Haven’t watched the BSD wan in a while, but Gin Is a very kind person and you can see in I think the fourth or fifth season she protects everyone from herself when she lost control of her knife. over all when she is seen with akutagawa in that one scene (and including the episode where Higuchi is chasing after Gin) she seems to be overall quiet and respectful.)

B tier:

Chūya(Chūya is kinda of a mixed bag, on one hand, he is a red flag (I swear to god if I see one of those jokes where it like “Chūya doesn’t have any flags, I’m going to find your house and beat you, I’m so sick of that joke, I see it in every comment section talking about Chūya, can we please get a knew joke BSD fandom, all the jokes we have are dead.) people often say Chūya is a red flag since he is in the mafia, which is Valid, which is why I have him so low, other than the fact that he is the mafia I believe Chūya would be in A tier maybe even S tier but I may be a little biased , but, excluding the fact Chūya is in the mafia, Chūya is probably one of the most loyal characters in the ENTIRE series, since it was exclusively said in Stormbringer that “Master Chūya is the kind of person who will never abandon those who have helped him, even if they end up betraying. That is simply who he is.” Chūya is the kind of person to keep a promise no matter what, Chūya is also said to be respectful to women, and from what we see from the show he is respectful to everyone but Dazai but Dazai purposely makes Chūya upset, so I don’t hold Chūya to blame. I see Chūya as a loyal and kind partner, and who would be pleasant to date if it weren’t for the fact that he was in the Port Mafia, so you would have to be in the mafia you to if you wanted the relationship to work. I do also see people say Chūya would be violent because Chūya is often shown to be angry, but, when Chūya is shown to be angry it’s usually for a valid reason, such as Dazai insulting him, or for him to be put in a life or death situation, such as in Dead Apple, which most people would also do, since there is a risk for so many people dying or being around people that purposely try to make you angry. So I think Chūya is that bad to date if your ignore all the crimes, but everyone ignores Dazais crimes, so I think they can do the same for Chūya.

Higuchi(We haven’t seen to much of Higuchi in BSD, though I would like to, and it is a shame that we haven’t, from what I have scene in the anime, manga, and BSD Wan, I think Higuchi is somewhere in the B to C tier, though love her. The reason I place Higuchi so low is because of her intense jealousy around Akutagawa, someone she is not dating. It is seen In the first season that when she sees a women with Akutagawa (it was Gin, which she did not know at the time,) she gets extremely jealous, going as fare as to stalk the two of them and chase after Gin, which is very possessive. The loyalty of Higuchi is also seen in the first season when she does everything to for Akutagawa with zero regret and brushing it off as it just being her job. Higuchi would probably be a very loving and nice girlfriend to be with but a very possessive and jealous one, which isn’t the worst thing to be on this list, considering some of the other BSD characters. While researching this list, I remember how funny Higuchi can be, while partnering up with Atsushi to find how who the women Akutagawa is with she was very witty and she really funny to watch, along as in the wan she was also pretty funny.

Edger Allen Poe(Poe is a decent person, he is shown to be kind, ambitious, and smart, though he clearly thinks of himself less than Ranpo. Poe is a shy person which is shown clearly through out the anime and manga. Poe is arguably a red flag since he did try to kill Ranpo, but he does show some concern if Ranpo does die, so over all I think Poe’s fine except his a little off his rockers sometimes, but who’s not anyway. I believe Poe’s one of the characters that could date someone outside of his own job, but he is pretty shy, so I think you would have to be introduced to him in order for anything romantic to happen.

Sigma(I honestly think Sigma would be okay, but the main issues would be his A, his inexperience with life, I think he would be very stressed because he only has the memories of the past three years of his life and he really wouldn’t know what to do, and B, he is part of a criminal organization, which considering this list is pretty normal, since it’s seems everyone in Bsd has at some point committed at least one minor war crime or killed at least one person. The main issue with Sigma being in a criminal organization is that Fyodor is there and if Fyodor knows about you you’re already dead and will probably be used to manipulate Sigma. Overall, Sigma as a person, though inexperienced would be an okay partner, but because of Fyodor dating him could be extremely risky for the both of you, so for the better, it would be better to have a unspoken close relationship that would only work if you worked closely to Sigma, but this would still inevitably be found out by Fyodor.)

C tier:

Dazai(I’m pretty sure this is a hot take, but, dating Dazai would not be that great, but before Dazai Stans come for me let me explain: Asagiri (the author of BSD) said that in what ever relationship Dazai was in he would manipulate them, so it is canon that he would be a little toxic, but looking at his other friendships, you can kinda see how he acts, he’s a womenizer, flirting with pretty much anyone he sees and offering them a double suicide, he also doesn’t let anyone in on his past or his secrets and is overall distant. I believe Dazai would manipulate his partner so they don’t figure out about his past, and if they somehow do, I believe he would always keep them at arms length and you would have to be someone like Fyodor in order to figure him out and make him actually exspress himself, and I think if you could figure him out one of you would leave (because you deserve better) or Dazai feels threaded and he would find a way to manipulate you into breaking up the relationship for him or he would just disappear. But I don’t want that to discredit the fact that Dazai can be a a nice person, but everything nice about him has an equal and opposite amount of evil, which is the issue about Dazai, you would have to be able to tear him apart so you could get close to him, but he would always try to keep you away or you would have to be stupid enough to date him and think he truly loves you. I honestly think you would have to take up a caretaker role for Dazai and you wold have to have known him since his Port Mafia days and be able to corner him and dissect his character for him to let you be close with him, overall, toxic relationship.)

Akutagawa(canonically, I think Akutagawa would be hard to date, Akutagawa has been shown in the past to be violent and cold to others, at one point even hitting Haguchi in the first season, though. I believe Akutagawa has had character development since then, and has started to become kinder, I still believe Akutagawa has a lot of healing to do before he can ever have a healthy relationship with others. I do want to mention the fact that Akutagawa does have a heart, he did say he was happy for Koyoka, and MANGA SPOILERS he was assigned to take care of Aya after Bram died, so I believe we could see him heal more in the future of the show. MANGA SPOILERS DONE we have seen Akutagawa be able to work with others more, and better, so I do believe he will rise the ranks of this tier list soon.)

Tachihara(Tachihara is a pretty nice person that looked up to by some from what I have seen in the anime and manga, though he doesn’t have much screen time, but from I have seen, he’s a really troubled person who is emotionally driven, he spends most of his life trying to get revenge against Yasano, and he often argues with Gin, though him arguing with others and acting all hard could have been part of the ruse he had been doing when he was a spy for the hunting dogs. Tachihara is a kind person though he has a lot of internal conflict, with the constant internal battle of if he was a hunting dog or a port mafia agent, though when does choose a side, he sticks to it. I believe Tachihara would be someone who would have trouble starting a romantic relationship do to his job, but the same goes for every port mafia agent of hunting dogs member. I believe Tachihara would be a protective partner, I believe this since you can see that Tachihara has dedicated his life to someone he loves dearly (his dead brother) that he would do the same for someone he truly loves.)

D tier:

Ango(I hate putting Ango here because I love him so much, but I’m not putting him here because I don’t like him, I’m putting him for other reason I will explain. I am putting Ango so low because of his job, I love Ango, as he is my favorite character in the entire show, but because of his job he often betrays people, and I believe he may carry a lot of guilt and shame for what he has done, which I believe is shown when he helps Dazai out of the port mafia, by erasing all his crimes. From what I can see Ango is a hard working government official who does care about others deeply and he struggles to not grow attached to people on his undercover missions Ex Dazai and Odasaku. I believe with Angos constant betrayals he would have many people after him and dating someone would only add more stress to him, and if someone he loved died again I believe he would never forgive himself and he would try to make up for what he did like he does Dazai. Like most of the other characters in this list I believe you would have to work with Ango in the government in order to have any relationship with him, since in any other circumstance he would most likely betray you. I don’t mean to display Ango as only a traitor, since he’s not, you can see he is an actually kind and caring man, but he is often put in the position to make hard decisions, though when he helps Atsushi and Koyaka escape in season 4/5 you can see him choose the side that he knows is innocent and to work for his own personal motivations instead of a company’s.

Jouno(in the show Jouno is shown to be pretty sadistic, though he doesn’t join Fukuchi when he offer Jouno to help him, and instead chooses to help others, though he does torment Aya. So I do believe that Jouno is a good person but if you had to date him I’d say it would be difficult, especially with his job most likely keeping away from you for long if you don’t work with him, so I would say another character where you would have to work with him if you wanted to spend any time with him.)

(We’re skipping E tier because everyone that’s going into F tier doesn’t deserve to be put at a higher letter like E. It also messes with my my color coordination system so I’m sorry if you love the letter E and I didn’t mention it.)

F tier:

Mori(the only way you meet this man is if he found you in the hospital nursery, no other words, the only reason people like him is because Bones(the studio that animates BSD currently) gives him pretty privileges instead of Fyodor, though for the three people that actually find his character cool because of his past are chill, but still, Mori isn’t some hot mafia boss, he’s legit a manipulative pedophile, the only reason Mori is ever good is if he can be used for the plot.)

Fyodor(Fyodor may have a nice voice and he may be attractive but don’t let that distract you, that man will kill you. He will ruin your life and make you depend on him (I’m taking that from the fact that during the prison arc he told Dazai to do that.) Fyodor would most likely use you for everything you were worth or keep you around because he’s fractionated by you, in the best case you are as smart as Fyodor so you can entertain him, any other way your probably going to get killed petty quickly by him since for most people he doesn’t show much care or interest in except for Dazai since Dazai entertains him, and and any other person he just uses Ex Nikolai or sigma.)

Nikolai(Nikolai would most likely have an unhealthily obsession with you and then kill you, in the show it states that he wants to kill things he loves because he wants them to be free. I would say Nikolai has a good heart but he also is Insane, he’s done some of the most graphic kills in the show, but he does show sadness when he think Fyodor died, so he has some empathy but if you were to date him your gonna have a nice knew head piecing with a 15 caliber built in your skull.)

————————————————————————

(PS: don’t let this discourage you from reading/writing fanfics about characters, I’m not doing this to hate I’m just showing what I think it would be like in cannon, but in fanfiction I think it’s fine to change things about character (EX making Dazai not manipulate reader) to show how much the character loves reader. This isn’t serious by any means or meant to hate on your favs, again, please don’t send me death threats<3.)

[allisonlol]

Ah, a Jouno simp...I've always been more of a Chuuya and Fyodor simp. Having said that Jouno is fast becoming a new contender. On that note..if you get time (uni is a real time eater) could we maybe get headcanons on ideal types of woman for Chuuya, Jouno & Fyodor please

a/n: chuuya and fyodor are on TOP too! jouno was love at first sight tho <33 but i would love to do this for u!! keep in mind y'all this is my OPINIONNNN so be nice or else. felt like i was writing kunikida's list of ideals LOL

warning: fem reader

(Chuuya, Jouno, Fyodor) And Their Ideal Woman

Chuuya

i feel like he's...not really picky??

like as long as ur decently nice and somewhat confident he'd be down to get to know u

i feel like chuuya would definitely be drawn to someone who puts a lot of effort into their appearance tho. he does the same so it's not a double standard!!

^such as well-put together outfits and styling ur hair or makeup to match

this is random but i think he likes girls who wear glasses...it's fine if u don't but bonus points if u do!! especially the round frames

doesn't care about height much. but if ur taller than him don't tease him too much or he'll be insecure :(

personality wise, i think chuuya would like someone who is sweet and a little shy, but knows when to stick up for themselves? like not a pushover

someone who is soft-spoken would be a nice contrast to his hotheadedness and bring out his softer side <3

Jouno

his type is me. next

all jokes but i think jouno would like someone who is very similar to him

^you would have to have a substantial amount of things in common to get close to him in the first place, since he doesn't waste his time on anyone

i'm thinking someone who is quick to aggravate, reserved, and sarcastic

there's a lot of playful banter instead of flirting

appearance doesn’t matter much since he can't exactly see you lol. but he would like to lightly trace over ur face and such to picture what you look like

due to his enhanced sense of smell he would love someone who smells good all the time...like regularly uses lotions and perfume but doesn't over-do it (too much would give him a headache)

^has an inclination towards sweet and warm scents, like vanilla. claims the florals are "too overpowering" (although he likes cherry blossom)

i also feel like jouno would like someone with longer hair. he likes running his hands through it or playing with it :)

Fyodor

he likes anyone who will shut up and sit down to obey his order <3

i'm only partially joking here. he would need someone who will typically submit to him

^doesn't mind pushback once in awhile tho. likes the debates that come up if you question or disagree with him

fyodor would like someone who is very quiet, softspoken, and intelligent. the less friends you have, the better too!

^wants you all the himself lol. if you're very introverted, he won't have to worry about you getting close to anyone else as much (did someone say...possessive...)

does want someone who is close to his intellect but doesn't match it. he wants to be able to teach you things and feel superior

don’t bash me here BUT i think fyodor would like a woman who fits that “trad wife” stereotype. like just chills at home and does housework for him. he tends to neglect taking care of himself and his surroundings so he appreciates if you care for him in that way

i also believe fyodor would be drawn to someone who's style resembles his own. i have a very distinct image of a woman with dark hair, elegant clothing, dark makeup

another one who appreciates if you put a lot of time into your appearance

immense bonus points if you're also russian or can speak the language

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @scul-pted @exorcisedstraydog @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @dreaming-of-ambedo @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @irethepotato @serenareiss @thescrunkly @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @disa-ster

[ethereal-blossom]

My thoughts on dating... Dazai!

Credits to @kisara-16 because she basically co-wrote this through our conversations about Dazai. Seriously, these headcanons wouldn't look like this without her amazing insight on Dazai!

sfw

-Instant love is not an option when it comes to Dazai. He can think you're pretty when he first lays his eyes on you, and he can be impressed and admire certain qualities, but he's not going to fall in love that easily. Falling in love requires vulnerability and indirectly the acceptance of a possible loss. No, a slow burn sounds more right.

-Building up trust is the key to getting Dazai vulnerable. You're going to have to prove that you won't leave him. It's not an easy task as Dazai will make you face many challenges, like calling you up in the middle of the night because he's "too drunk" to walk home from the bar yet you're chasing him around the entire city up till dawn.

-However, there are more things needed to win over Dazai's heart. Little things over a long span of time, to be more precise. Dazai is a stranger yet attracted to sincerity and kindness, so a combination of these two things would pull his heartstrings.

-Imagine Dazai sitting at his desk and suddenly you put a can of crab on it. He's confused, but then you explain how you rarely see him eat at the ADA. When Dazai asks you why you chose a can of crab, you answer that he once tried to convince Kunikida to buy it for him with the promise he'd finish that long overdue paperwork. Dazai would be so surprised if someone, you, paid attention to him and remembered a detail from an interaction that didn't even involve you. (Credits to Kisara for this scenario!)

-Dazai would be oblivious to his crush on you at first, may it be because he's scared or the foreignness of the emotion. When Dazai does realize he has feelings for you, he tries to distance himself. As Dazai said, everything he wants is lost the minute he obtains it. He can't afford to add another wound to an already scarred heart. It's crucial to be consistent and prove you're not willing to leave, and that you desire to live.

-You'll have to confess first. Although Dazai easily picks up on other people's emotions and knows how to manipulate them, he has trouble handling his own. Vulnerability is something Dazai fears and that includes opening up about his feelings to you. He would wait until you make the first move.

-If you're scared though, don't worry! Dazai picked up on your crush on him as well as your struggle to confess. He'll tease you until you're convinced he needs to have some interest in you. Imagine being in the ADA kitchen and Dazai pops up behind you. His front is pressed against your back while he's trying to grab something that so accidentally happens to be at your coffee maker. "Don't mind me," he whispers softly into your ear. He could grab it much faster but why wouldn't he take his sweet time? After all, it's so cute how your body reacts to his close presence. And who knows, maybe it makes you confess sooner.

-When you do confess, Dazai might act light-heartened about it. "Oh, Belladonna, I knew you'd fall for my charms eventually! What about a lovely double suicide for our first date?" But don't let it fool you. He's excited yet nervous that you asked him out. He just needs to hide it for the both of you.

-You might also need to kiss him first. Dazai will turn it into a challenge to see how long you can resist kissing him. Imagine Dazai catching you looking at his lips. You turn your head the second you notice Dazai caught onto you, but then his slender fingers grab your chin, turning your head back to him. His eyes lock with yours, the air is filled with want... and then he lets go, focusing on whatever you were doing. The longer you wait for him to kiss you, the more seriously Dazai takes the challenge.

-Dazai's kisses are usually playful and teasing. He knows what makes you stand on the tip of your toes for more. One of the cuter things is when he taps on your shoulder only to appear on the opposite side to kiss your cheek.

-The PDA will be very clownery. Not sure if I wrote something similar for another post, but: If Dazai wants to cuddle with you at the ADA, he's going to drag you to the couch whining like a child needy for attention. It's all to hide that he craves your touch. Physical touch is an intimate action for Dazai as he rarely lets someone that close into his personal space and when he touches someone, it's rarely to show affection. Such an intimate action is something Dazai prefers to hide from his co-workers and strangers, so the way he goes around it is by using his desire for your touch to strengthen his reputation as a lazy clown.

-Nevertheless, there are going to be intimate, hidden touches throughout the day. He'll lightly bump into you at the copy machine. He'll then place his hands on your shoulders as if to steady you and innocently smiles "Sorry, can't have you falling for me again, sugar cube!" Or when nobody is watching and he delicately caresses your lower back for a split second. And perhaps the times your shoulders brush slightly aren't as accidental as they appear to be.

-Physical touch is more intimate when you're in one of your dorms, though. It's where Dazai doesn't have to worry about appearing soft or vulnerable. He loves it when you play with his hair, although it'd be an unfamiliar sensation at first. He'd relax so much if you made him lay his head in your lap while you do your skin-care routine on him. When you fill him in on everything that's going on in your mind while touching his skin aka giving him personal attention... He could never get tired of it.

-Dazai's favorite love language to receive is physical touch. He's so touch-starved, especially with the layers of bandages decorating his skin. It's going to take a long time before Dazai feels at ease and safe enough to remove the bandages around you, though. It's not something he's going to be comfortable with doing at the start of your relationship. Honestly, a lot of things that require even a bit of vulnerability turn into slow burns with Dazai. Even holding hands is a huge milestone that feels intimate to him. You really need to have patience and while you sometimes have to push him outside of his comfort zone or take the initiative, you cannot be too pushy either.

-Once Dazai agrees to remove his bandages, be extra tender with him. Kiss him softly and gently remove the bandages around his neck. Instead of staring at his skin and making him feel self-conscious, start placing kisses on his neck and then slowly trail down to the exposed part of his neck, leaving hickeys at places you couldn't before. Don't immediately let Dazai remove all his bandages. Take it step by step. Leave days between them. You don't have to remove his shield in one go.

-Dazai doesn't often initiate dates as he's rather easy in that aspect. It's not to say that he never takes you out, though! What Dazai values most on dates is the proximity of you and the memories that are being made. When Dazai wants to go on a date, they're rather spontaneous and unpredictable. One minute you're working and before you know it, he makes you chase him to a park. A fun date idea could be escape rooms! Of course, Dazai is smart enough to escape within five minutes, but he enjoys the proximity of it. He'll have already figured out where the key is, but why would he say it? Not only does that make you leave the room sooner, but he finds your cute dedication to escape it endearing. Dazai would also really like cafe or bar dates, but he also wouldn't say no to a date filled with surprises (if you manage to be sneaky enough to surprise him, that is).

-Dazai takes care of you from the shadows. He's a tsundere. So when he does an act of service, it's hard to tell it's him. For example, let's say you're very tired. When Atsushi is ready to grab a cup of coffee from the cafe, Dazai randomly brings up how tired you've looked all day. Next thing you know, Atsushi brings you a cup of coffee.

-Dazai isn't the one to get jealous easily, but oh does he taste it when somebody else thinks they can wrap you around their fingers when you're already wrapped around his. Softly said, it's not appreciated. It's hard to tell when Dazai is jealous, but he does get extra clingy and starts making it obvious that you belong to him. They're looking at your hair? Oops, Dazai is brushing it behind your ear. They're looking at your cheek? Dazai kisses it. They're trying to make a conversation with you? Dazai is answering all the questions in the most annoying way. They try to stand closer to you? Dazai has an arm around your waist, pressing you against him.

-When you need a hug for comfort, Dazai will make a remark on how clingy you are. But when you want to pull away, he hugs you even tighter and doesn't let go until he feels your heart rate go back to its usual tempo.

-Dazai prefers to sleep next to you. It doesn't necessarily helps him fall asleep (although it does make him feel more relaxed) but Dazai enjoys to have you in his arms, listening to your steady heartbeat and breathing, feel your warmth, and loves to have you close even though you're sleeping. It makes the night a bit more bearable and less lonely.

-Dazai isn't very used to praise, and if he does, then it usually doesn't mean anything to him. He knows he's smart. He's aware people perceive him as handsome. Nothing new. However, he'd secretly get flustered when it's you who praises him. It's the way you praise him with such sincerity and admiration without expecting anything back that makes the blood want to rush to his cheeks. Dazai knows how to smoothly hide his face, although you can still catch a tiny hint of him being flustered if the praise comes so unexpectedly.

-He's not always going to believe your praise, sadly. Not because Dazai doesn't trust you, but because Dazai doesn't believe himself to be a good human. So, whenever you praise him for being kind or beautiful, he's hesitant to internally accept it.

-Dazai calls you cringy pet names in public + Belladonna, but in the safety of your dorms he calls you "love" and "dear." All credits to Kisara and I'm still fangirling over how accurate this feels: "Sweet angel princess Belladonna, would you possibly... reconsider my double suicide offer?"

-Self-care does not come natural to Dazai. He is a pro in neglecting himself, so it is important that you motivate him in taking care of himself. Dazai will whine about how he does not want to shower only for him to do a full 180 turn when you offer to shower together. He clings to his can of crab, claiming it is all he need, only to change his mind once you make a delicious homemade meal (emphasis on you because there is something about knowing you made it that makes the food more enticing).

-To be fair, there are downsides to dating Dazai that you have to deal with. His acts of service often isn't noticeable, he has trouble opening up and sharing what is happening inside his head, and he requires patience on many surfaces. There are times he is as ungraspable as the wind. However;

-If there's one thing Dazai considers most important then it's your life. He has lost too many and he's not ready to lose you, too. So, it's almost a given that Dazai feels protective of you. He wouldn't let anyone harm you and if someone does... Well, that automatically makes them Dazai's enemy and we know what saying goes around. If you actually once get seriously hurt on a mission, it's going to keep Dazai up for the next couple of nights. Sure, the Agency has Yosano and she fixed you up like a pro, but still. What would've happened if they got you to Yosano too late? Especially if you got hurt in Dazai's plan, he'd beat himself up. Either way, he's going to feel like he should have predicted it. He praises himself for his intelligence but couldn't even use it to keep his love safe? Pathetic. Dazai is going to find it endearing though if you decide to stay up with him even though you're basically falling asleep on his shoulder.

nsfw (mdni)

-As I mentioned before, holding hands is already going to be a huge achievement, so I don't think you will sleep together very soon in the relationship.

-This man is unmotivated to do anything until we're talking about how many orgasms he can get out of you. Dazai is both a fan of overstimulation and edging. He will edge you for what feels like hours on end to then go full out without hitting the brakes because "Wasn't that what you were begging me for, my Bella?"

-I am not saying Dazai has a praise kink but he is going to be flustered the first few times you praise him during (oral) sex. Imagine moaning his name in the middle of the act and Dazai, the tease that he is, asks "Yes, love?" "Mhm, you are doing so good, Osamu." Instantly, Dazai's pace stutters and slows down as he lets the words sink in. "Is that so?" he replies before muttering to himself "Better live up to the expectations then." Good luck walking the next day, you will need it.

-He probably has been praised before when pleasuring other women but it never did matter as much to him as your praise does.

-I don't think Dazai is that much into degradation. I can't see him wanting to degrade someone he deeply cares about; the closest you will get him to degradation is when he teases how desperate you are for him. However, if you are into it, he will degrade you more because he knows it serves the purpose of pleasuring you.

-Dazai is going to be soft and gentle the first time you will do it. He is self-aware enough to know the times he has been cruel, so he feels extra motivated to do this right. If it is your actual first time, Dazai is more scared of hurting you and feels more pressure to make this time as memorable and pleasurable as possible. He will prep you extra well, entering you slowly while observing every sign that tells him you are hurting, and he will take all the time in the world before he starts moving in and out. During all of that, he coos lovely words that comfort you and distract you from the pain.

-Dazai is a switch with a preference to dom. It will take a while before he takes the role of the sub. When he does, make sure to be gentle with him.

-At the start, Dazai prefers to give. He barely prioritizes himself, so he doesn't make a huge deal out of being on the receiving end. It is quite the opposite: Dazai is aware he does not show love easily and this is a skill he is confident in to show you how devoted he is to you. Yet, a new world opened to Dazai when he realized how good this feels with you. The difference between before and now is the emotions and attachment he feels towards you, which increases his pleasure during such intimate acts. Soon, Dazai will want to drown in the pleasure that you give him and crave more of it like a selfish man.

-Dazai is a pro with his mouth and fingers. Not only that, but he mastered the art of sensuality. He understands roughness, speed, and impatience are not everything. He knows how to make your body tremble with the unbearable slow trace of a single finger against your bare skin, the intimacy of an intense gaze, and the tone of his voice when he tells you all the things that will you crave more of him.

[flowers-of-buffoonery]

there's something to be said about the way soukoku act around each other normally – about the endless childish banter that has been accompanying them from when they were 15 to the present day.

dazai and chuuya met when they were teenagers; they started off on two opposing sides, then chuuya was made to join the mafia, to partner with a boy he detested (and reasonably so). a lot has been said about the fact that soukoku are, for each other, the only way of experiencing the childhood and teenagehood they never got to have – not in the mafia, not in the sheep. they hated each other, were forced to work together by both circumstances and mori, and instead of seriously trying to kill each other they just... started insulting each other. and they never stopped.

here's the thing. 15yo dazai and chuuya, being insufferable to each other, is standard teenager behaviour. we're glad for it. go soukoku!

22yo dazai and chuuya, still being insufferable to each other... now, that's different.

part of it is, of course, that they genuinely find each other irritating – that much has not changed. and for chuuya, who's still in the mafia and has responsibilities and hordes of subordinates, dazai is likely the only person he can behave like that with. that much hasn't changed.

dazai, though. we see him acting like a downright brat with most members of the ADA – chief among them kunikida (much could be said about dazai attempting to replicate the dynamic he had with his ex-partner with his new partner. a post for another time). the reactions he gets range depending on the person. most members act as if nothing is out of the norm or like they're indulging him; atsushi is puzzled but just goes with it; kunikida gets angry and starts lecturing him. but nobody matches him blow for blow – nobody jokes back, nobody trades insults with him as a peer.

chuuya, on the other hand, doesn't just let dazai be his bratty, insufferable self like the ADA does; he actively joins him, rises up to the challenge.

at 22, dazai and chuuya can still act like that exclusively around each other. it can be falling back on old habits. but also – isn't it a choice, at this point?

having someone you don't have to be deferent to, someone that doesn't need to be manipulated – someone you can get mad at without thinking of consequences. isn't it a relief, having someone you can just hate? to dazai and chuuya, their relationship must be the easiest, most uncomplicated one they have.

I know you, and you know me. I don't have to be pleasant with you. let us not care, and be unpleasant together.

[noodlesoup1819]

Day 2: Mental Disability - Autistic Ranpo

I didn't get to doing anything proper for this day, but Autistic Ranpo is featured heavily on Day 7, so keep an eye out for that. (this can sort of be read as the background for that post if you want to know what my personal interpretation is.)

Instead let's talk about some of my Autistic Ranpo Headcanons! (ft. Poe and emotional support animal Karl)

(these are my personal hcs based on my autistic experience and is not reflective of everyone's interpretation and experience of autism <3)

I think Ranpo went undiagnosed until several months of living with Fukuzawa. Because of Ranpo's intellect, no one ever really questioned the things he struggled with until Fukuzawa.

The first time Fukuzawa started thinking there might be something actually up (rather than Ranpo just being Ranpo) was the first time he properly got lost trying to navigate the subway. Ranpo ended up going missing for serval hours 4 towns over and Fukuzawa finally found him curled up on a bench having a meltdown.

Another thing that clued him in was food. Fukuzawa, trying to be the Responsible Adult™️, pushed a little too hard about not having so many sweets. It wasn't until there was a big blow-up fight about it that Fukuzawa understood that Ranpo wasn't just being picky.

It took a little time, but the two of them fell into a rhythm and Fukuzawa became a safe space for Ranpo.

Before the agency was set up properly, Fukuzawa kept stim toys and earplugs in his sleeves for whenever Ranpo needed them. (now he keeps them in his desk drawer)

After getting a diagnosis and settling into the agency, Ranpo manages his autism much better. The agency always has someone there to help him navigate, everyone respects him in spite of his childish demeanor, and he has a very set routine.

When things do get overwhelming, he still has places within the agency to calm down. Fukuzawa will always let him join him for tea in his office. Having made a bit of an adoptive sister in Yosano she let's him chill out in his office if he ever needs any down time (everyone's too scared of her to bother him when he's in there.)

The rest of the agency is good at accommodating him too. Kunikida has no problem using his ability to make stim toys or aids for him whenever they're out on a case. Dazai, while kind of a pain in the ass, gives him some good intellectual stimulation when they hang out that's hard for him to get elsewhere (they're besties you can't convince me otherwise). Atsushi carries around snacks for him. And everyone regardless of who they are will help him navigate transportation.

Eventually he also has Poe who he can either go to or call to come and bring Karl. The author has a really calming presence and having a soft animal to pet and play with always helps.

Speaking of Poe, their first interaction will always haunt him as one of his autistic blunders. Ranpo really respected him as a detective and wanted to complement his skills... but didn't quite realize comparing him to himself would sound like gloating. He's really glad to have met Poe again (even if it was through a 6 year revenge plot).

Poe also understands his autism in a way that most people don't, being autistic himself.

The first time Ranpo had a proper meltdown around Poe was before Ranpo had the chance to explain his autism to him. After calming down, Ranpo was super impressed with how Poe dealt with it and it led to a conversation about both of their experiences growing up and why Poe has Karl as his emotional support animal.

Ranpo also gets headaches frequently. He's never really found a cause, but he suspects his autism has something to do with it.

When he was young and lived with Fukuzawa, Fukuzawa would let him sleep with his head in his lap and play with his hair when things got bad. (He would still let him, but Poe does it most often now)

This got long 😅 but I hope you enjoyed! 💖

[with-my-calamitous-love]

BSD CHARACTER PET PEEVES

various, just a few hcs! a few x reader things in there too

atsushi is a pretty easy-going guy and not many things seem to piss him off. the biggest exception to this is bad breath. maybe its because his ability grants him heightened senses, but his face scowls in disgust whenever someone dazai has an off smell while speaking. on the flipside, atsushi can also smell his own breath. sometimes late at night when he comes home you find him scrubbing his teeth, with soap if he uses up all the toothpaste. buy him lots of mints! he’ll probably end up offering them to people dazai

much like atsushi, tanizaki isn’t easily bothered. however, if he is rushing to return home to his dear sister, or walking by her side on the street, he hates slow walkers. his patience wears thin whenever someone on the sidewalk is meandering with 0 spacial awareness. he doesn’t often act on it, leaving you to squeak by an excuse me! to make way for you and him- and he loves you for it.

yosano has many, many pet peeves- but the biggest of these is leaving the toilet seat up. poor girl has to share an office with so many boys- and it doesn’t help that she already has a strong distaste for the opposite gender. she will either use her leg or will call you to come fix it for her- and afterwards she’ll lecture you on all the harmful bacteria you can contract illnesses from in bathrooms. shes a doctor and she means well <3 just fix the damn toilet seat

ranpo, being a lover of sweets, hates overly priced candy. he is childish and isn’t too financially literate, but he knows that a pack of gum should not be $6. he especially hates gas station candy- one, for the quality, but two for the fact that they cost you an arm and a leg. take him to a regular grocery store- or better yet- make him some sweets yourself! they taste better when you make them and when they’re free

kenji is a sweet, easy going, ray of sunshine who hates the sound of stomachs growling- especially his own. perhaps its because of his strong feelings toward poverty, and the sounds of hunger sends shivers down his spine, but he especially can’t stand it if its from his or your tummy. make sure he (and yourself!) are always fed <3 unless he needs to pick up some cars and lift stop signs from the ground

kyouka hates knuckles cracking with all her being. really any body part casually being cracked in public annoys her. i say this because i hc atsushi to be a big knuckle cracker, and can imagine kyouka silently quaking with rage next to him with demon snow prepared to strike. please don’t crack anything around her!

lord, kunikida’s list pf annoyances probably take up 3 pages. gum chewing, interruptions, tardiness, misspellings- but the biggest of these is giving and not returning. and this is SPECIFICALLY for his precious fountain pens. he has a written list of every time and every pen dazai has borrowed and has never gotten back. i imagine dazai does that purely because he knows it pisses kunikida off, and just has his pens lying around in a drawer somewhere. please always return his things! and give him a peck on the cheek too <3

dazai isn’t on this list because dazai is the pet peeve of the whole agency