#ALLYSHIP

[victusinveritas]

I knew a guy in the White Panther Party. At some point in the 70s someone made him a beret with a white panther on top of it (covering the entire round part except with claws coming down) and he wore it until he died in 2021. Until at least 2010 he was the town's hookup for shrooms and 'the good acid' so everything above tracks. He'd show up to every moderately leftist rally and then any after rally party that materialized, but he'd also talk about how he didn't flee to Canada during Vietnam, he just disappeared into 1960s-70s Detroit and just kinda was a helpful ghost for the next several years. My dad knew him from his Vietnam protest and CO days, but was not how I met him, and at one point in 2006 we were out together and saw him and he just said "Hello, [Redacted]s" and my father was shaken that a) he was still alive and b) he knew who I was. Or anyone was. Unsurprisingly, he'd been off his face on acid a lot of the time. My dad wasn't pissed that I hung out with him, just amused.

RIP, Jim. May your coffee cup never be empty and your beads always untangled.

[our-queer-experience]

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

[thebiballerina]

It reminds me of how people talk about accessibility. Where getting certain kinds of assistance or living a certain way is pathetic/lazy/entitled/childish/etc. "except if you are disabled, of course!" While it isn't entirely unhelpful to have it recognized that certain things are necessary for certain people, and it's better than outright denying the worth of people with those needs, it is still really sad that people cannot reframe their worldview any more than making exceptions for the people who can't help it. Not to mention, it is genuinely harmful, because "exceptions for those who need it" in theory will always translate to some people slipping through the cracks in practice.

This framework hurts people regardless of whether they don't "qualify" for the exception or not. It is exhausting, costly, time-consuming, and demeaning to have to constantly prove your needs just to go through life; sometimes it doesn't even work and you are deemed undeserving anyway. It makes it harder for people to realize when they have those needs. It makes things harder for all the people and systems who help meet those needs. It turns those needs into an artificial limited access scenario, where the "wrong" kind of people using the exception is treated as an existential threat, so much so that harm to the "right" kind of people is an acceptable sacrifice for the sake of gatekeeping. It never actually pushes people to question the default, or their judgments about the morality of deviating from the default.

It's fascinating how much these experiences align, now that I think about it. OP, you have given me much to ponder.

As I said on another post with a similar topic: Living life without sex and/or romance is not an accommodation that you get if you have the "right" reasons; it is a choice on the same level as living life with them, and we should frame it that way.

There’s also a thing that people who think they’re being accepting do where they go “Not wanting romance is SO SAD AND LONELY! Not wanting to read romance novels is SEXIST! Not wanting a partner makes you a FREAK! Not having sex with your partner is BAD and ABUSIVE! Not feeling sexual attraction to your partner means there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!… unless you’re aromantic or asexual, of course! Then you get a pass.” The only acceptable reason to deviate from the amatonormative and sexnormative societal norm is to claim an identity label that exempts you. The actual thing you’re doing is still bad… but don’t worry it’s OK for you to do it! It feels like, we haven’t actually challenged any norms at all, you just get a pass on them because you can’t help it, poor thing. If you have the capacity to feel these, you have the obligation to; you are only exempt if you claim an identity that says that you are unable to. It implies that we would if we could, but we can’t, and it’s merely unfair to punish us for our shortcomings. Romance and sex are still social requirements, that hasn’t changed, we just are allowed a pass on it because we are unable to meet them. (And we’re still expected to reassure everyone that of course we recognize that their romance and sex is far more important than anything we will ever be able to have!)

I don’t want aros and aces to get special exemption from the requirement to have romance and sex and romantic attraction and sexual attraction; I want that to not be a requirement for anyone.

[crazygnomenclature]

[liberalsarecool]

Chris Kluwe is righteous. 🤜🏻🤛🏻 🇵🇸

[userboxesandstuff]

I think it's stupid that people won't believe the "out group" will help them.

Perisex people can be allies to intersex people

Cis people can be allies to trans people

Non queer people can be allies to the queer community

Transmasc and transfems and transneutrals all help each other

Men can be allies to women

White people can be allies to black, brown, hispanic, asian, and native people

Abled bodied people can be allies to physically disabled people

Neurotypicals can be allies to neurodivergent people, whether that's toward intellectual disability, mental health, learning disability, cognitive disability or other stuff

We're all in this fight together: don't forget it. Be an ally to the groups you're not a part of. Help people you see needing help.

[angelsaxis]

New GFM for Lola!!

"Lola is a Nigerian transfemme who needs help with funds for moving. She has to move to a new city for her own safety and so that she can be able to live vicariously. In the past 3 years she has had to deal with homelessness, harassment, and physical abuse due to the rampant transphobia in her current city and she deserves to have a fresh start in a place where she can live without the constant fear of violence and move forward with her life. Black Trans people deserve to live full fulfilling lives."

Please help by donating and/or sharing!

GOAL: 3500 USD

[oscarisaacasimov]

Hozier's Hymn to Virgil

“There’s points where Virgil picks Dante up and carries him over certain places, and puts him on the back of beasts who fly him over ravines and all of this fantastical stuff. He holds this guy when he faints and trembles and weeps,” Hozier said. “Dante the living human in this poem is, like, horrified. And then he arrives at the end of it, and Virgil says, ‘Well, I can go no further.’ And Dante, the writer, knows on some level that Virgil is not a man who deserves to be in hell.”

[victusinveritas]

[covid-safer-hotties]

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

In my ongoing effort to be as effective an ally and advocate for Jews and for Israelis as I can, I have been doing a lot of reading. I’ve read some of the books on this list and some of them are a work in progress. I would be happy for input and further recommendations:

Everyday Hate: How Antisemitism Is Built Into Our World and How You Can Change It by Dave Rich.

The Left’s Jewish Problem: Jeremy Corbyn, Israel, and Antisemitism by Dave Rich.

People Love Dead Jews: Reports from a Haunted Present by Dara Horn.

Jews Don’t Count by David Baddiel.

Jewish Space Lasers: The Rothschilds and 200 Years of Conspiracy Theories by Mike Rothschild.

Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth by Noa Tishby.

Israelophobia: The Newest Version of the Oldest Hatred and What to Do About It by Jake Wallis Simons.

Jerusalem: The Biography - A History of the Middle East by Simon Sebag Montefiore.

Long Journey Home: A Young Girl’s Memoir of Surviving the Holocaust by Lucy Lipiner.

The Holocaust: A New History by Laurence Rees.

Nazi Germany and the Jews: The Years of Persecution - 1933-1939 by Saul Friedländer.

Nazi Germany and the Jews: The Years of Extermination - 1939-1945 by Saul Friedländer.

[crazygnomenclature]

This was a super controversial series of comics when I posted them on Reddit a year ago. So much so that Zombie Comic Aura talks about it in a video covering T&E sins.

I still don't regret it, because it sets up a little more complexity to Tiff and Eve's relationship. I would have made a few changes if I had thought ahead a little more, but I mention that in Aura's the video.

More Tiff & Eve on Webtoon. Support the comic on Patreon.

[incognitopolls]

Anon is a trans guy and finds that people he's known for years keep seeing him as a woman. He wants to know if it's a genuine mistake/if lots of cis people struggle to adapt.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[aqlstar]

Mass atrocities across Africa go underreported by Western media and unaddressed by international bodies. The Jews can relate.

The African Jewish alliance works to address part of this issue by publicizing information on the victims of Islamist forces across Africa and Israel. We are stronger together than we are separately.

You can follow the African Jewish alliance on Instagram here.

Their mission statement is “to educate the public about innocent victims of terror, and to promote action to both protect and liberate the slaves and hostages taken in terrorist raids in Africa and Israel.”

You can learn more and get involved by visiting their website.

[angelsaxis]

LOLA STILL NEEDS HELP! NEW PINNED!

She can't stay in Abuja because it ended up not being the safest place for her. She needs FOOD, HRT, AND HOUSING. She's at risk of facing violence every day.

This is an old campaign but it's still valid. If you can't donate yourself, please reblog! Spread this wherever you can. She's been having so much trouble for so long that I'd hate to see her give up on survival now.

She's @/Afrrau_Deity on Twitter.

If I had money I'd definitely give it to her too but I'm almost in the red myself.

5,674/15,000 USD