#ALLYSHIP

[sarcasticsweetlara]

Spreading this

if you’re a baby trans and you haven’t started smoking cigarettes or vaping yet don’t. it’s actually not that hot or interesting. It will just cause you ungodly frustrations and suffering and cost you a bunch of money and be next to impossible to quit

[creature-wizard]

Another tip for activists and allies - be mindful of displaced aggression. When you're feeling really stressed or angry because of stuff going on in politics, but you can't directly or immediately do anything about the people responsible, it's easy to find yourself taking out your frustrations on easier targets, like vulnerable people in your vicinity. If you catch yourself wanting to be antagonistic toward people who are suffering as much or more than you, or find yourself trying convince yourself that they aren't suffering all that much so you can feel justified in antagonizing them, look into some anger management skills and stress management skills.

[after-thought]

This isn't usually my thing but I'm just going to leave this here (for my U.S. friends) because I don't think many people know about Disability Pride Month.

The Department Of Energy just revoked requirements for public buildings to be accessible, The 'Big Beautiful' Budget Bill will take away vital supports for millions with disabilities, and the rescinding of Executive Order 11246 cut the knees out from under disability employment. The administration - in particular the secretary of health - has expressed a concerningly abelist and eugenics-based mindset, business and colleges alike are backing away from inclusion efforts, and people with disabilities are being let go at much higher rate than the rest of the workforce.

It couldn't be more important to be loud and proud.

#Disability #DisabilityPride #YesAccess

[layla-el-faouly]

Just because Pride Month is over doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate and protect and uplift our wonderful queer brothers and sisters and siblings every single day. Queer liberation forever 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[lxladies]

So last weekend, I attended a protest funeral because Harry Potter is dead, so let's mourn and move on. Please.

My segment is only little, but I can rememberish some of what was cut, so I'm gonna say it here

For many of us, Harry Potter built a warm and safe house, a house safe from bullies, a house where the boy in the closet was allowed to come out, a house where we could find friends and family away from our abusive "real" family.

But there was a rot at the core of that house, and that rot has spread and spread until it now threatens the very structure where we make our home.

Yet still, people ignore it, paint over it, pretend it isn't there or that it's not really harmful while we suffer more and more.

Just like the pride display, not five feet from the Harry Potter display. The rot is spreading, and we need to leave the house. Otherwise, it will come crashing down on all of us.

[our-queer-experience]

[victusinveritas]

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

[xiaq]

Hey cis folks! If you’re out and about with a trans friend who shares your gender, offer to go to the bathroom with them.

In my glittering palace of privilege I didn’t even think of how anxiety-inducing it must be for my not-always-passing friend when we’re out in public for hours and they need to go pee. It wasn’t until my friend told me this that I realized there was a stop-gap solution until the world got kinder. I could go with her, even if I didn’t actually have to “go.” And she’d have backup. And if anyone caused a problem, I’d be there to be as annoying as fucking possible and run interference while she did her business and got out.

So now, any time we meet up somewhere public, even if it’s just a quick coffee, I always ask if she wants to hit the bathroom before we leave. It’s such a little, silly, thing, but she’s said it makes a difference in her willingness to even accept invitations to go places.

Maybe your trans friend doesn’t feel the same way, but maybe they don’t feel comfortable enough to mention it and you offering would be a relief! Doesn’t hurt to ask.

[crazygnomenclature]

[prokopetz]

I just saw somebody in my notes whose blog header identifies them as a "straight ally", followed immediately by a series of emojis depicting a gay pride flag, a trans pride flag, two women holding hands, a disco ball, and what appears to be the national flag of Denmark.

[creature-wizard]

You have privilege! ...Now what?

This is my little guide for what to do and what not to do when you realize that you benefit from a system of inequality, because some people out there still need some help with this.

The first thing to do is recognize and acknowledge that systemic inequality is a thing. It's fine to feel upset and discombobulated. Handle your feelings with mindfulness. (If you have not learned mindfulness, now is a really good time to do so!)

Understand that privilege is not original sin, nor is it even regular sin. It does not affect your value as a person, nor does it mean you have to engage in penance or do something to "make up" for having it. You don't need to do any kind of performative thing as a response to having privilege.

Privilege is something you have due to a system of government and a set of social norms that you did not create. It cannot morally pollute you.

What it can do is leave you unaware of the realities of other people's lives. So what you should do is acknowledge that you probably don't understand the lives of marginalized people as well as you thought, and you need to plan on learning more about that.

As you learn, you will probably find yourself challenged often: you may learn that things you did or participated in perpetrate inequality. It's not going to feel great, but again - mindfulness.

Some things will be simple to give up - like slurs. Other things will be harder, maybe even impossible sometimes - like buying things from corporations. The important thing is that you do the best you can. (You might not be able to avoid buying from corporations all the time, but you can search for alternative options.)

You can also use your privilege for good. For example, if you're white, you might have white friends who won't listen to a Black person talk about racism yet, but they might listen to you, and maybe they might listen to a Black person if you recommend them. (Also see my post on persuading people.)

Remember that you'll mess up and get it wrong sometimes. This doesn't mean you're a failure or a bad person. (Activism and allyship does not mean hating yourself!) Just try to learn and do better when it happens. (Some people out there might be very harsh on you, and maybe say things that are very unfair. Try not to take it personally, try not to lash back, and just do the best you can to learn and move on.)

So there you go, these are the basics for handling your privilege.

[liberalsarecool]

Chris Kluwe is righteous. 🤜🏻🤛🏻 🇵🇸

[oscarisaacasimov]

Hozier's Hymn to Virgil

“There’s points where Virgil picks Dante up and carries him over certain places, and puts him on the back of beasts who fly him over ravines and all of this fantastical stuff. He holds this guy when he faints and trembles and weeps,” Hozier said. “Dante the living human in this poem is, like, horrified. And then he arrives at the end of it, and Virgil says, ‘Well, I can go no further.’ And Dante, the writer, knows on some level that Virgil is not a man who deserves to be in hell.”

[angelsaxis]

New GFM for Lola!!

"Lola is a Nigerian transfemme who needs help with funds for moving. She has to move to a new city for her own safety and so that she can be able to live vicariously. In the past 3 years she has had to deal with homelessness, harassment, and physical abuse due to the rampant transphobia in her current city and she deserves to have a fresh start in a place where she can live without the constant fear of violence and move forward with her life. Black Trans people deserve to live full fulfilling lives."

Please help by donating and/or sharing!

GOAL: 3500 USD

[victusinveritas]