#AKA June maybe hopefully

[castoff-comic]

Question: when will Castoff return to having Monday uploads as well?

When my brain is no longer on fire

After Momocon maybe

[yellowloid]

I'm kinda new to Milex, despite loving both AM and TLSP for years, and like so many questions.......What happened to those sweethearts, what are the divorce allegations, why they don't hang out anymore, is there any tension between Miles and Alex's girlfriend?😭 I need to know

hiii and welcome to the milex fandom!!

first of all, you can check out this post to know more about the divorce allegations - but of course always remember it's just theories, no one really knows what happened (if anything happened at all)

second of all, they do still hang out! they're just very private about it and rarely ever get spotted together, but over the years after the tbhc and cdg eras we got to see them together a few times, usually hanging out in london like here (august 2020):

and here (july 2021):

but also in jnstances like this one (september 2021) (it's not confirmed that they were together but miles posted this with the caption 'ARRABIATA HEAD X' and arrabiata is Their Thing + those are alex's sunglasses and the photo was most likely taken by him idc i will die on this hill)

then we got to see them together in june 2022, hanging out at some pub:

and also at zackery michael and lola mcdonnell's wedding aka the wedding of the century aka i wish i was a fly on the wall there. this was also in june 2022, they were both there but sadly we didn't get any interaction nor photos of them together:

we did however get a few interactions between miles, (nadya) and louise.

in may 2023 they were spotted having a cute little date night at a scott walker tribute concert in london (feat. the one and only brown leather jacket):

and then of course we got to see them playing 505 together in june (💖) after five whole years of not sharing a stage:

and then again in dublin, miles opened for them on all four nights of the irish leg in october and joined them for 505 on the very last one:

during both the cts and omb eras miles has mentioned alex and tlsp quite a few times (both spontaneously or because of annoying interviewers asking him about it).

speaking of miles and louise, they ignored each other for a long time since alex started dating her back in 2018, which was quite weird considering miles usually seemed to have great friendships with alex's girlfriends (he was very close to taylor, and he's still friends with alexa). recently they started interacting more, liking each other's posts or leaving comments there (see miles commenting on her latest birthday post for alex). as i mentioned, they interacted a bit during zack and lola's wedding (katie posted a video on ig where her, kirstin, louise, miles and nadya were all hanging out together). i think at this point it's safe to say miles and nadya aren't together anymore, but her and louise were hanging out quite a lot during 2022/start of 2023 and they probably got introduced through their respective boyfriends. there's no official drama between miles and louise but they don't seem to be friends, just close acquaintances at best.

and... i think that's it anon! in conclusion they're still very much close and hanging out with each other, it's just much rarer to get a glimpse of them but maybe in the (hopefully not so distant) future we'll get a tlsp3 announcement and then they'll finally be touring together again, planet earth will heal and we'll be well-fed once again. in the meantime, i hope this little recap was helpful <3

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

Pros of seeing Beetlejuice by myself either before or after seeing it with my family:

My sister in particular hates seeing stuff live with me because I get too invested. Idk if I clap & cheer too loud, or whisper too much about the stuff I like as the show is going on, or if it’s just a Me Being Her Annoying Little Sister thing, but it always feels like her agreeing to be seen in public with me is a huge sacrifice on her part. If I see the show by myself, I can have one Core Memory of enjoying the production without worrying about embarrassing her.

My brother’s being a bit of a sad sack right now, and God knows how long his moping will last (long, stupid story not worth recounting). Hopefully he’ll be better by June, but I’m not holding my breath. Again, seeing the show by myself means I’ll have one memory of it being just me & the Bug Man (and a few hundred strangers).

My relationship with my dad is . . . complicated. He said yes to seeing the show, but I think it’s because he had nothing else going on that night. He doesn’t have the ambition to reach out & ask others if they want to hang out, and I got tired of always initiating. And it might be kind of awkward watching Charles & Lydia go through THEIR complicated relationship while my dad is right there.

Our seats for the show aren’t the best in the house. We’re way in the back next to the sound booth. Good shot of center stage, I’m sure we’ll see everything that happens. But I wish I’d bought the tickets sooner so I could be in one of the Audience Interaction Zones. If I’m gonna be the only weirdo saying “AWWWWWW” while the rest of the audience is laughing at Beetlejuice’s abandonment issues, I want to be HEARD, God damnit!

Stinky lonely pansexual bug man make brain go brrrrr.

Cons of seeing Beetlejuice by myself either before or after seeing it with my family:

Money. I think tickets are a little over $100 a pop. I make enough money to make it fine to spend almost $500 on tickets to see a show with 3 others, and I can definitely swing an extra ticket to see it by myself. It’s more the principle of the thing. Is it WORTH spending an extra $100 to see the same show twice? (The part of my brain that’s hyperfixating on Beetlejuice is screaming “HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!”, but the practical side of my brain is annoying & whispering “you have bills to pay, your cats need to go to the vet, what if you lose your job even though you have crazy stupid job security”)

Availability. If I decide to see the show by myself, I have to decide NOW because tickets went crazy fast (or maybe they went super slow but were available for ages & I didn’t know because I just got bit by the BeetleBug last month). I was lucky to find four seats together for the show I’m already booked for. Finding one seat by myself won’t be quite as hard, but they might be gone by June.

My family will judge me. Not really a con, more of a fact of life. They already judge me for the rest of my “personality quirks” (aka my problems that they’re already aware of). Does it really matter if they have yet another reason to give me the side-eye at holiday gatherings or complain about me to friends, coworkers, and the rest of the family? I can think of at least one company of performers who would say life is WAY too short to deny myself simple pleasures.

Pathetic as it is, I DO have a life. Sort of. I don’t want to be dead on my feet at work or when I’m supposed to be taking care of my niece, and I don’t have the time to spare for the matinee. Or maybe I do - I probably won’t know until it’s too late to get my ticket.

I have no idea how long this brain rot is going to last. It’s burning hot & bright right now, but it could burn itself out before I see the show in person. It seems unlikely, but there’s still a risk.

[caramelstarlight]

Tighnari|Event-Interested|

Hello! Thanks for being interested and willing to dedicate time. Or you’re here just curious or maybe you’re scrolling… However which way you found it does not bother me.

Above is how much I’m looking for. I’m not planning to triple crown as soon as I reach 90. Below the cut is more information. If you’re scrolling you can simply ignore. Please reblog to others. <3

Information:

Hawaii Timezone

Tighnari grinding,(only certain stuff)

7am-11pm most likely.

Taking effect on June 20th

Ends on… October 8th. Most likely.

exp books/mora/quests/commissions etc for first 20 days. Still joinable.

Uid: 63083256, Yoimiya pfp, Jean Namecard

Will I skip days? Most likely. There’s just some days where I’m too busy.

No negative stuff in chat, lmk if you don’t want to be recorded. I’ll either record others with interviews and stuff or just not record completely.

Be patient if a video does come out. It could revive my channel maybe. I’m CaramelStarlight with a Tighnari PFP.

(FateTracker)

(Active on June 20th-Oct 8th. Playing actively on 10am-11pm my time.)

NOTE: I do NOT have sassy fox boy. This is just me preparing for when he comes home. (Hopefully.)

(Lmk in comments and/or ask box. With name,uid,pfp.)

(120 days= 4 months. Aka October 8th. Those first 20 is for books and mora then the rest is actually for Tighnari where I’m getting his stuff,artifacts,ascension etc)

G A T H E R E D: •Dendro ascension •Crowns •Raiden boss drop •Nilotpala Lotuses •Mushroom drops •Talent Books N E E D •Mora •Exp books •Beaks

A R T I F A C T S (WIP) / W E A P O N 2pc wanderers troupe.(WIP) •Crit rate wanderers troupe hat -Crit dmg=12.4% |EM/DEF= +37 |HP= +568 -Lamp of the lost (DEF) •Crit dmg= +21%, 2.1% Crit rate| HP= +568| ER= +11.7% -Concerts final hour •EM +16|Crit Dmg +12.4% |ATK +18 | HP +1018 (TOO MUCHH) -Bards arrow feather •HP +508|Crit Dmg +12.4% |EM +58|ER +12.3% -The first days of the city of kings •EM +65 | ER +5.2% | Crit Dmg +14% | Def+42|

Weapon: Hanayumi, r2 Stringless or Ibis piercer r3.

[moonylilies]

2023 Art Summary!!

so here's a single piece from each month i did!! i really wish i did more art this year, so hopefully (and most likely) next year i will!!

below under the cut are links to the ones i managed to post along with my art goals and some thoughts for the next year

thank you so much for those who have been following me this year and i hope we can continue to grow doing what we desire in the next year :3

yall can skip reading this if you just wanna go see the links; most of you probably know i went back to college in january, which unfortunately caused me to gain major art block (ew) when my depression creeped up. i also had like no time this semester with the large ammt of courses i took (i took 6 classes and it killed me with the course load since most of them were online. never again i will be making that mistake). when i go back to classes in january, i hopefully will not be as dying as i was this semester since i am taking a majority art course load. im even taking a printmaking class which means yall will be gettin some goodies posted hopefully

my art goal for next year besides getting more commissions lol (which if you are interested can see about here) is to be able to draw full bodies - i still can't and ive been drawing humans as my main thing for at least 6 years now. i will def be practicing next year by doing many figure studies lol. i also hope i can manage to figure out how to do backgrounds besides the basic ones i tend to do i also hope that with my shop i can break some of my records like getting new states i haven't shipped to yet so that my state ammt goes up from 8 to maybe 10, having my total ammt going up to around 50 sales from 35, getting more fans for my art who love the stickers and prints i am making, ect ect i wasn't able to this year. while i am on winter break, i am trying to set up a shop update for before classes start again which i will be updating on here about when i remember to do so (honestly the hardest thing for me while having an art acct to promote my art and shop is making content besides just posting my art online and hoping people like it)

links for art + what the ones that don't have links are lol: january: lunar new year rabbits feburary: ft ferris bueller's day off au (this one is the one i am the most proud of) march: lucy redesign april: team shadowgear hehehe (this one's my favourite i did this year) may: yuki got hit by a car june: sketch of my oc alyss july: levy for part of my colour wheel challenge that is still a wip (tiktok one two ; reels one two) august: wally ice cream (aka a future sticker) september: art of my oc adora october: the sun tarot card feat sting eucliffe (wip portion is linked) november: bisca icon december: ramen sticker (a sticker soon to drop in my shop once i do a shop update soon)

[purecommemasolitude]

outsiders week 2024 progress report to hold myself accountable

Sunday, Nov 3 - "gang" or "Ponyboy"

already chosen the fic for this one, it's the one i've been working on for the longest (literally since at least june last year) and i am soo close to being done. there's just one exchange i need to refine because i'm not satisfied with it. but it's book-verse about ponyboy after the track tryouts the same year as everything goes down* not getting the placement he wants and finding a moment of understanding with darry about it because darry's the only one who #gets it. this fic was spun out of that one line in the book where ponyboy says soda never got the importance him or darry placed on athletics

*when i was combing the book to figure out the timeline of track/what grade he was in there was a) never a concrete answer b) a lot of things that could be interpreted in conflicting ways, so i just went with he's a sophomore who was on the track team last year and track tryouts happen in like may or whatever

Monday, Nov 4 - "gold" or "Cherry"

there is a fic already started that's hopefully going to be the one for this day, but also it's probably gonna be long and it's an exploration of musical!cherry's turmoil after bob dies seeing the witch hunt against the greasers (basically it's inspired by the fact that she takes her promise ring off after JFT and not after the break up) and i want to try and do my vision™ justice instead of rushing it so this may not be done in time we'll see. if it's not done i may extract the bit where she finds out about two-bit's jumping from marcia and just post that because it's the part closest to being completed

Tuesday, Nov 5 - "rumble" or "Sodapop"

so i have two started but incomplete fics that could go for this day. one is following musical!soda & darry at home in tulsa while ponyboy is out in windrixville. it's probably my first choice, but this one is also an i don't want it to rush and lose some of its potential in the writing process so we'll see. the other one is a stevepop fic that's largely centered around sodapop's queerness (it's basically a 5 + 1 of members of the gang realizing/revealing that they know that he's not straight. evie is in it with her and steve as each other's beards and she's the catalyst for soda's own realization that he likes men)

Wednesday, Nov 6 - "hair grease" or "Darry"

fic chosen and started for this one too! (this is what i was up until like 2:00 yesterday working on 🤪) it's musicalverse again and it's gonna follow a possible explanation for why darry's called darrel now, aka him slowly transitioning to going by darrel after the death of their parents and the reasoning and rationale for that change

Thursday, Nov 7 - "rodeo" or "Bob"

...okay for this one i truly have no idea. i want to keep it vaguely on-theme for the prompts even if i end up not following them, but the two other soc-related fics i have simmering are ones that i want to also not rush and really make sure they're the best i can get them (asian!paul exploration and marbit's journey post-book) so probably not those two tbh. two ideas that i have are snapshots of various characters reacting to his death, though i haven't picked a universe for that yet, or something following the non-character prompts for once and maybe some of the characters as kids at a rodeo? i'll be honest the only rodeo experiences i've had that i can really remember are riding the docile horses on like a real-horse carousel so basically i'd just be planting outsiders characters into that experience

it is also possible that i'll end up with nothing (midterms go crazy), in which case i'll post my backup that is semi-completed, a whooole bunch of outsiders characters recreated in this picrew

Friday, Nov 8 - "tuff" or "Dally"

this one is not only decided upon but finished if y'all can believe it. i might make some revision edits before i actually post it but this one is a product of me going insane over the course of three days and writing a character exploration of dally on the train tracks delving into his relationship throughout his life with suicidal ideation

Saturday, Nov 9 - "vacant lot" or "Johnny"

unfortunately once again no idea lads. actually i lied there is something but it doesn't follow any of the prompts very much so we'll see. following the prompts i have no idea, most i've got is maybe a short thing about johnny some quiet night in the vacant lot (both prompts in one fell swoop). maybe he's looking at the stars idk. if it's the other one, which could also function as a backup for any of the days, it's a sickfic about two-bit that's actually just an excuse to write two-bit appreciating his mom. the google doc for that one is called sick TB mother appreciation to illustrate how central that is to the fic

if you've read all the way to the end hello 👋 and feel free to send any thoughts or questions my way! i need to lock in and start hustling on these soon and interaction is always a great way to improve willpower

[elsternwick-rp]

Elsternwick Spring Update! (04-24-24)

Good evening, everyone! We hope your day and the month of April has been well, we've been busy at work planning a number of events, and encounters, and while we've been excited to share them with you, we only feel now they are finally ready to be seen, and we hope you'll look forward to them! So, why don't we begin with some new arrivals?

New Arrivals (Circa 04-24-24)

The train has pulled into station, bringing with it many fresh new faces to Elsternwick, we hope you enjoy your stay here!

Zayne 'Delights Marcus (Original Character) - Pichu

Friend/My Friend (Original Character) - Mari

Morcant Ruben Mar {aka Ruby} (Original Character) - Aster

Sandalphon (Granblue Fantasy) - Clarity

Mithrun (Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi) - Fionn

The Scout (Team Fortress 2) - Fish

Eoghann (Dungeons and Dragons {Original Character}) - Pact

Izu (Kamen Rider: Zero-One) - Bee

Starlo (Undertale Yellow) - Rook

Ingo (Pokemon Black/White - Fionn

Cole (Dragon Age) - Fionn

Dexter Douglas (Original Freakzoid Remake) - PIchu

Kvothe (Kingkiller Chronicles) - Fionn

Reserves

We also have a  few reserves, hopefully soon, we’ll be seeing them, and look forward to whatever plots you may do with them!

Magolor (Kirby) - Carmine

Sari Sumdac (Transformers Animated) - Doot

Harrier Du Bois (Disco Elysium) - Vin

Dropped Reserves

We only have one dropped reserve this time around, sad this vampire didn't work out, but maybe one day we'll see him around!

Astarion (Baldurs Gate 3) - Vin

That about does it for the character update, we hope this clarifies things, and if you do not see your name on this list, please do not fret!

This run of new characters had a larger than usual amount of applicants who we could not reach via Discord, if you sent an application in the past three months and have not been accepted, please check in with us and we'll clarify if you've been accepted or not!

As a reminder, please have an alternative way to contact you if you send in an application! Sometimes Discord doesn't let us add you to send your invite! (Be it because of settnigs or other issues!)

Now, onto the second part of the announcement!

As you may have seen in our previous update, we have an update planned for Spring! Enough time has passed, and we believe that is is all ready to go!

Overabundant Life (Spring Event: April - Mid June!)

With the death kneels of a mushroom man who was preventing the cycle of life and rebirth, an explosion of pent up natural and life energy has saturated Elsternwick and the surrounding area, Spring was delayed for a month or so, but now it is here in full force... perhaps a bit too much full force!

Plants and vines are growing all over town, on buildings, on people, everywhere! There's even a few rare plants that hunger for human flesh... and herbs that many will pay a pretty penny for, hope you've got your shears at the ready!

Not only that, but an explosion of animal life has brought new life to the forest, all types of creatures are wandering in and around the forests of Elsternwick, baby animals, protective mother animals, and a few odd ones you may have seen before, you'll have to be careful, if you're feeling daring, maybe you can go hunting...? Make sure they're cleared to hunt!

With melting ice and flowing water, the Lakes and Rivers of Elsternwick are brimming with latent life, hungry fish, and unusually clear water, it's a fine time to fish, or perhaps explore the lakes around town, you may even find some long forgotten treasure...

And finally, as Spring begins, Arcadia Carnival begins with a grand festival, tents and games of all types are visible around the board walk, with portals to other worlds freely open, wonderful visitors of Fae Nobility wander freely, and promises of endless joy surround the carnival... there's even a promotion to get extra Arcadia Tickets! Perhaps just this one you can trust faeries...?

And that's just a few things planned for our Spring Event! As you can see, it's focused mainly on how Spring has life growing all over the place, and we think there's plenty of opportunities for interesting roleplays, we look forward to what you may end up doing!

It ends in Mid June, so don't fret, you've got plenty of time before our Summer Events!

Upcoming Features

Finally, we have a small update on some of our upcoming events for 2024!

In 2023, a majority of the events were serious and focused on Story, including alternates, curses, and emotional energy running amuck, for 2024, we decided that this year's events would instead focus inward, with a majority of our events focusing on Locations within Elsternwick, and expanding on the lore of our fair city!

This was player voted on thanks to Discord's brand new Poll feature, which also helped us decide which places to focus on with upcoming events, and we're pleased to give you a small teaser of what's to come in Mid-May! Hopefully you won't be waiting too long...

Elsternwick's rivers have long run through the town, with many passing over it, unaware that another long river flows beneath...

When problems begin to plague Elsternwick's water, citizens will have to traverse into the maintained sewer sections and find various surprises, and perhaps a glimpse into something forgotten in the town's past.

You'll be surprised by What Lurks Beneath. As Above, So Below, as they say...

We're still ironing out the details, but we hope you'll look forward to it when it's ready in May!

Once this is finished, why not cool down and head to the beach?

Amazing things are beginning to wash up on the shores, and the roar of the ocean hides many things, valuable and wonderful things that the Museum and Library may be very interested in...

With the return of an ancient book, strange things are happening there, and perhaps some of these beach curios could help calm whatever has taken root in the library, bringing history to life...

Our next Event will likely overlap with Summer, so you'll be waiting longer for it, but we hope you'll look forward to it!

Update Done!

This should about do it for this update! Sorry to keep you waiting, and we hope you'll look forward to the upcoming events, and any interactions with our new arrivals!

And we also hope the rest of your Spring is amazing! In Elsternwick, or otherwise!

Spring will give way into Summer in just 50 days, and we'll have activities planned for then as well, and we can't wait to see what creative things you'll do with our events for this year! Whatever may come, you're sure to learn more about Elsternwick and perhaps those who live in it...

But until then, we hope the rest of your night is well and wonderful!

We look forward to whatever you may be up to, both within and without Elsternwick!

See you again soon!

[indianasolo221]

Taking a break

I want to let you all know that I’m not going to log into Tumblr for the month. My activity here is already rather sporadic, and I’m beginning to realize that I need to take a step back from all my fandoms and most of my social medias. I’ve already stopped posting on my other fandom accounts due to lack of motivation and inspiration. Yeah, I know I have only been on the Tumblr side of CATS for a short time, but this isn’t really about a certain fandom or platform. I’ve just come to realize that I have spent so much time in the last few years on fandom. It doesn’t mean that I won’t come back to my fanfic accounts, Discord, or Tumblr, just that I feel the need to take a step back. I have some things about myself that I want to improve, I want to grow up, move forward, etc. I feel that for me personally, part of that improvement and growth is learning when I need to take a break, and now seems as good a time as any.

I won’t be here for June, but I plan to give myself this month and hopefully come back refreshed in July. I will be grateful to those who continue to follow my blog during this time, but I also totally understand if you decide to unfollow me due to inactivity! I’m not abandoning this blog (or my sides), and I won’t forget my fellow fans, but I think this break will be good for me.

Who knows? If this helps me, maybe I’ll take a little hiatus every so often and just see where it takes me.

Until next time,

Indy (aka. Your resident Jemima fangirl)

[chaosoftheages]

Father & Son Timeline:

December 3rd, 2022: Okeh just this one book and I'll be done.

January 3rd, 2023: Ok I'll make a sequel I'm quite proud of book 1 hopefully it'll do good.

January 23rd, 2023: Ok I guess I'm making a trilogy

Febuary 10th, 2023: Okay this is the LAST BOOK

March 30th, 2023: Ok fuck it book 4

April 1st, 2023: Ok now it's the last book NOTHING MORE AFTER THIS

June 9th, 2023: Book 5 I guess

June 11th, 2023: Actually why not work on something different for a while *Writes To Heaven & Back*

July 1st, 2023: Hmmm I've had this idea sitting in my drafts for a while let's write it *Writes Made To Ruin*

July 10-11, 2023: Shit AO3 is down...WAIT FATHER AND SON ISN'T DONE YET FUCK

July 11th, 2023: Okay I'll postpone the AU I was working on

July 12th, 2023: Okay just one more book

July 13th, 2023: AND OF COURSE I MAKE A BOOK 6 TO MAKE ANOTHER TRILOGY

August 1st, 2023: *Writing chapter 13 of book 5* December 2022 me is probably looking at this rn and going "How the fuck did we get here"

AKA

Me in 2022 watching episode 30: Ok I got a good idea for a book let's see how this plays out

Me writing book 1: Hmm seems like this book is gonna do good maybe it'll be my breakthrough. But just this one book I don't wanna go to crazy.

Me in August 2023 writing the 5th book in the series knowing damn well I'm gonna be writing a 6th right afterward: Ok where did these other plotlines and ideas come from what the fuck brain

In short, F&S started as a small little project and now it's turned into my writing breakthrough that 2022 me would've thrown out the window in 2 seconds flat.

2023 me both questions how I got here and is proud asf that I got here

Thanks for whoever on Tumblr supports me on AO3

Anyways, AVM quote for the series:

Purple in book 1: Ok let me just stop my dad and not get anymore trauma than that.

Purple in book 5: IS THE TRAUMA OVER YET?!?

Me: No.

Purple: JUST KILL ME ALREADY

Me: The near death is one thing and I've already done that

Purple: WHY WASN'T IT PERMANENT!?!?

Me: Your my protagonist. You have plot armor.

Purple: Omg you actually believe in that.

Me: KING'S SEEN ENOUGH I CAN'T JUST DO THAT TO HIM-

(The reason Purple has somehow survived: Plot armor)

Series Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3288039

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

I feel like it's time for another "What the Hell is Up with Your WIPs, Jen???? Any Updates?????" post, so let me tell you what the current status is on all them. 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

This includes both fics I've already started posting (marked "on AO3") and fics I haven't posted yet, some of which you might not even be aware of because I haven't talked about them before. 🙈

The Untamed

The Angsty SongXue Fic (on AO3)

I gotta be honest, I haven't really worked on it since, like, May or June because my brain keeps semi-fixating on other fandoms at the moment. Chapter 52 is still a work in progress, but I hope I'll get back to it soon.

The It Follows AU (on AO3)

Has it really been TWO YEARS since I posted the first five chapters???? I know, I really need to get back to it and finish it.

The XXC Grew Up in a Cult Fic

I know, I haven't even started posting this fic yet and tbh, at this point I don't know if I ever will, but it is more or less fully outlined and I've written the first chapter, so I don't know, maybe the mood will hit me again one day.

The Color Rush AU

This one I haven't touched in several years and, similarly to the one above, I don't know if I will ever write enough to start posting it, but the first chapter is already done and I have a plan for how it's supposed to go, so maybe one day.

The Observer series (on AO3)

I did write the first chapter of part 2 several years ago, but I have yet to write the other two chapters in this part. I'm not in the biggest smut-writing mood in the moment, so this one will probably stay on the side for a bit longer, but I definitely want to continue it.

The Fierce Corpse Therapist SL meets Reincarnated XueXiao Fic

I don't remember if I ever told you about this one. I wrote a little bit of the beginning for this one and I have an outline for a good portion of this story, but it will probably be a while before it sees the light of day. I do still really like the premise, though, so I will hopefully pick it back up at some point.

Others

There are some others that I have outlines for, but haven't actually started writing, so I won't mention them for now, but the ideas exist and are simmering at the back of my creativity dungeon. Maybe they'll see the light of day, maybe they won't, we'll see.

Word of Honor

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic (on AO3)

I just realized I only posted the first four chapters of this fic, even though chapter five has already been done for years. I guess I wanted to use that one as a buffer while I work on chapter six (which still isn't done because I haven't worked on it in ages). Even though I haven't worked on this one in a long time, I still eventually want to finish it. Guess I'll post chapter five in the meantime. Really, completely forgot I never posted that chapter, even though it's one of my favorites so far.

Night Has Come

Night Has Come...Again

Remember when I was semi-fixated on Night Has Come and made several gifsets for it? I also started working on a fic that basically picks up where the end of the drama left off. Unfortunately, my semi-fixation died before I could get more than 1.5 chapters into it. I do want to come back to it at some point but right now, my brain is jumping around too much for me to focus on it.

Sailor Moon

Sailor Moon Celestial

Ah yes, my Sailor Moon epic that I've mentioned a few times. I do come back to it every now and then, and I will definitely finish it some day, but it will probably be a while before it will see the light of day, aka AO3.

Love and Redemption

Five Times Linglong Tries to Forget (And One Time She Doesn't)

Another one I have fully outlined and started writing, but since I'm not in the mood for writing smut at the moment, it will probably be a while before I finish it.

Star Wars

The Episode IX Fix-It Fic

Also come back to this every now and then. I WILL get it fully out of my system one day, I just don't know when yet.

Crossovers

Twilight × The Chronicles of Narnia

I've been back in my Twilight era recently and had a look at a crossover with the Narnia movies I started writing like 10+ years ago again. I still really like the premise and I had a good portion outlined back then, so I started rewriting it from the beginning. I hope this time I'll really pull through. At the very least I already got farther into the story now than I did when I first started writing it, so I'm gonna see that as a good sign. This one's angsty.

Twilight × MCU

I wrote 8 chapters with the ninth as a work in progress back when I started working on it. I've done some editing in the last few weeks because I wasn't really happy with a few of the scenes, but other than that I still like what I wrote. We'll see how I'll get into it.

[sleepy-ogre]

12:25am, 30th June, 2024

I enrolled into Psych coz gotta do sumn in life after taking gap years for far too long. Even though I didn't really know much about it and have felt somewhat skeptical and I still do [more in the sense that most of life problems not including the debilitating ones can be solved by ourselves (hence my confusion over the role of a counsellor) and that the root cause of the proliferation of major disorders is failures at a systemic and societal level, so the solution should also be of the same orientation] I've always wanted to do something that involves helping people.

But ever since summer vacay started, I have this never-ending existential crisis abt what it is that I'm doing here coz I genuinely don't have that passion as I did in the 1st semester.

Everyday I get this nagging thought that this isn't the right thing to do. And it doesn't help that I've enrolled in online classes-type "internship" in which the instructor is too informal and sometimes that borders on insufferable. Coupled with the countless posts by certain Psych counsellors and interns on insta I come across almost everyday (yes I have a doomscrolling problem and I'm not proud of it) basically bragging abt the kind of money they make by charging exorbitant prices (I'm talking 3k to 5k) for mere 1hr sessions (saw this one woman who only has a Masters brag abt it and how she overcame the problem of lack of income by "changing her financial mindset" aka charging enormous amounts).

Idk the financial condition of these influencers, hey, maybe they really do need the bag (although they do seem to be pretty well off) but I honestly believe that counselling shouldn't have to be this expensive and that if these people really are in a dire situation, they should prolly choose some other field like organisational Psych or get into teaching (which I guess that lady bragging abt exorbitant fees was already doing through her training programs she advertised on her acc). Other people's finance really shouldn't be of my business but it bothers me because I've felt first hand how unaccessible therapy can be.

This has got me spiralling into an existential crisis all over again if this is the reality of working in this field. And I really don't feeling like getting into the instructor line coz it feels like we already have a lot of those plus I feel that's what most ppl who choose Psych end up doing.

Idk if its the curriculum, and I somewhat regret saying this but, sometimes I genuinely don't have much of an interest in this subject. I feel I've started losing even more interest after enrolling for this online course. Maybe I've taken more than I can hold and I just don't know what to do about it. Plus there's not much I can do abt it coz it's too late.

I'm not really that worried abt this online thing coz there's 1 month left b4 it's over and hopefully I can get that certificate towards that end if it means something. I really don't know how to deal with this existential crisis at hand. I really want to talk to someone but even after all that, its upto me how I figure this out.

I really don't want to discredit the field since we do live in a broken world with broken people and we as a species need to look out for each other. But sometimes it feels like the way its evolved really doesn't work for the benefit of the ppl. I'm trying to look for a side gig in the future but on the topic of pursuing one's academic endeavours while doing a job at the side as an extra means of income, I have seen people online say its easier said than done. So I really don't know how I'm going to figure this out but hopefully I will.

I've been typing these posts in the hopes of clearing my mind a bit regarding this and while it does feel good just getting it off my chest and it also does instill in me the will to do better, I've also noticed that the same existentialism will be back to haunt me again. Its a daily struggle ig.

[pizzaqueen]

Thought I'd put together a masterlist and do a little bit of an intro:

You can call me Queenie! Pronouns are she/her. I'm old to some and young to others. I'm mostly here for Steddie but other ships may pop up occasionally (like Chrissy/Robin aka Buckingham or Jancy)

I co-ran @steddie-week in 2023 and will hopefully run it again in 2024

Fanart, podfics, moodboards, fanmixes, and translations of my fics are all welcome! Fanbinding is also welcome :D

Please credit me as 96tears on AO3 and/or pizzaqueen on tumblr and I'd love to know so I can gush over it!

Asks are always open for fic talk or headcanons or anything else 😊 or even feel free to just say hi!

Some tags:

My fic / text/ headcanon posts / writing / art prompts

Some playlists:

Steddie / Eddie / Steve / Buckingham

And a timestamps post of all Steve's scenes in ST

(All fic links below the cut because it's long; updated November 2023)

MULTI-CHAPTERED FICS

alone again, or

20k / M / June 2022

It’s 1991 and Steve is still in Hawkins, still living with his mother, still single, and still working at Family Video. At least he’s the manager now, for whatever that’s worth. But he’s stuck here while Robin and Dustin and everyone else have moved away. Moved on. Well, everyone except for Eddie. They're best friends, spend most of their time together, and it's nice to have a friend like that. But Steve is still looking for love with a capital "L". At least, he thinks he is.

Playlist / Podfic by @cottagepodfics

Till I Kissed You

18k / T / August - September 2022

When Eddie confesses he’s never got the big deal about kissing, Steve teases him about it, saying maybe it’s because Eddie’s a bad kisser. Pride wounded, Eddie can’t let that go and decides he needs an unbiased opinion on his kissing skills. It’s weird but it’s only one kiss, no big deal, right? So, Steve says yes. Eddie gets the answer he wanted, but then he and Steve are left with a whole new set of questions to navigate. Now they just have to find new answers.

Moodboard / Playlist

uh-oh, love comes to town

13k / T / December 2022

It’s not like Steve thought Eddie would stay single forever, but he figured he’d have a girlfriend by the time Eddie got a boyfriend. So, when Vickie and Robin set Eddie up on a blind date with Vickie’s cousin, Steve figures he feels weird about it because he’s the only one without a date.

But an annoying little voice starts telling him maybe there’s more to it than that. He just has to figure out what it is.

Moodboard / Playlist

picnic time with you

12.2k / T / April-May 2023

“Why are you so keen on this, anyway?” Steve looks at Eddie, pulse skipping. He drums his fingers on the floor. “You can’t be that bored.” Eddie turns to Steve, lit by the flickering glow of the projector, and says, “I like knowing things about you.” When Eddie convinces Steve to show him some old family photos and home movies, it unearths a happy memory of a picnic Steve went on as a child. It was just an ordinary picnic, but it was weirdly special to Steve, and, more importantly, it gives him an idea. He's going to take Eddie on a picnic—a romantic one—and finally tell him how he feels. And Robin’s going to help him plan it.

The Pizza Box Pact

24k / T / November 2023

Eddie and Steve have been living together, working together, and raising their cat together for a few years, now, but they’re not together together. They’re friends—the best of—nothing more, and they’re happy. At least, Eddie is, and he thought Steve was too. But then he finds a pact they made, one drunken night ten years ago, where they pledged to ‘marry’ each other if they were still single by the time they’re thirty, and everything changes. Steve isn’t amused by the reappearance of the pledge, seems almost upset by it, and Eddie figures it’s because he’s going to be thirty soon and doesn’t have a girlfriend. So, he does what any best friend would do: promises to find Steve his perfect woman, setting him up on a series of unsuccessful blind dates. But somewhere along the way, Eddie rediscovers feelings that he thought he’d put aside years ago. He just hopes he hasn’t discovered them too late.

Art by goingsteddi3 / Art by Cousin Itt / Promo / Playlist

ONE SHOTS

fighting monsters, holding hands

387 / G / June 2022

As much as a huge part of Eddie still wants to wait here, cowering, he manages to nod. And that’s when there’s a loud boom, and he just about jumps out of his skin, hand flailing out to grab onto anything solid. Anything grounding.

stumbling in

1.3k / T / June 2022

The thing is, it was just one kiss. And it’s not… Steve’s not… It’s not like he wants to kiss Eddie again, or anything. And if it wasn’t a joke, and Eddie is gay, then, whatever. That’s fine, isn’t it? Steve’s fine with Robin—well, more than fine, obviously—so he’d be fine with Eddie, too.

But it’s… It’s natural to be curious when someone kisses you, right? Anyone would be.

Eddie's Badass Metal Mixtape (For Steve)

2.4k / T / June 2022

This is the closest thing in existence to a definitive collection of Eddie’s favorite songs. No, they’re not just his favorite songs. These songs are a part of him. They are him. Or maybe he’s them. Whatever.

The point is, this tape has taken him a week to put together, with one particular person in mind, and it is perfect. Finally.

Podfic by @daysarestranger

turn on your light

2.5k / T / July 2022

After they take down the bad guy, there’s still the issue of a gaping hole in the roof of Eddie’s trailer. Not exactly ideal living conditions. But Steve Harrington, who is not only not a douchebag but a genuine good dude and real-life superhero, says Eddie can stay with him. So, Eddie is in Steve Harrington’s bedroom, wearing Steve Harrington’s clothes, and about to sleep in Steve Harrington’s bed. It’s not the weirdest thing to happen to him this week, but it’s still totally fucking surreal.

a brush with love

1.8k / T / July 2022

“Dude,” Steve says, “when was the last time you brushed your hair?”

The one where Steve brushes Eddie’s hair (because Eddie hasn't done it in...a while, much to Steve's horror.)

when bad dreams become

3.9k / T / July 2022

A movie night during a storm leads to nightmares and the nightmares lead to some confessions. The urge to put his arm around Steve is almost overwhelming, but Eddie fights it. He hooks his ankle around Steve’s, though, which might not be any less obvious, but Steve seems to relax a little at the touch. At the next boom of thunder, Eddie runs his knuckles down Steve’s bicep, letting his hand rest in the crook of his elbow a moment, before he pulls it away.

Bowl Me Over

3.7k / T / July 2022

Eddie’s been kind of different lately—nothing Steve can really put his finger on, but not exactly himself. Steve figures he’s missing the guys from his band, or something. Whatever it is, Steve feels bad about it. It will be nice to do something to cheer Eddie up, so Steve, Robin, Nancy and Eddie go bowling. And then Steve figures some things out with the help of a stray comment from Robin and a stuffed toy bat. Across the table, Robin makes a strangled noise and says, “Holy shit,” eyes wide. Steve clears his throat. “What?”  “I can’t believe I didn’t see it.” Steve folds his arms over his stomach and Eddie sobers, setting the bat on the table and poking at his food. Nancy’s brow furrows and she says, “See what?”

strange currencies

4.3k / T / August 2022

When Steve steps in to break up a bar fight at The Hideout, the owner thanks him with free booze. A lot of free booze. By the time Eddie gets him home, Steve can barely stand, let alone wash his hair. But there’s puke in Steve’s hair, and he can’t sleep like that, so what’s Eddie to do? He washes Steve’s hair for him, and he expects it to be weird, but he doesn’t expect it to come with any revelations.

(Basically: Steve is drunk; Eddie gives him a bath and has feelings)

fix you up

2.5k / T / September 2022

It’s been a while since someone touched him like this. With this kind of…tenderness. And it’s all because he got punched in the face. Again. It’s not because Eddie wants to. Then again, Steve thinks as Eddie takes his time tending to Steve, he could’ve steered Steve toward the bathroom and let him patch himself up. He didn’t have to do it himself. Maybe… Eddie patches Steve up after he gets into a fight at The Hideout.

more than a feeling (that’s the power of love)

5.6k / T / October 2022

This was meant to be a fun weekend away for Steve and Eddie. Leave Hawkins, and all the memories there, behind for a few days. Drink some beers, maybe do some fishing or outdoorsy shit. Get some R&R. But now they’re tied up in some weirdo’s basement, facing imminent death, and Steve’s never told Eddie he wishes they were more than friends.

Not exactly the relaxing weekend he was hoping for.

never can say goodbye

2.3k / T / November 2022

Eddie watches as Steve slips his keys down the back of the couch, followed by his wallet on the other side. Then he takes off his jacket, balls it up, and stuffs it under the coffee table.

It’s like he’s setting up a bizarre treasure hunt, that’s the only way Eddie can explain it; Eddie’s about to say something along the lines of Having fun? or maybe What’s my prize if I find everything? when Steve takes off his watch and slips it under the couch. That’s when Eddie decides not to say anything, see where this goes. If Steve wants to play whatever game this is, Eddie’s more than curious enough to let him.

but the fire is so delightful

6.6k / T / December 2022

When Robin and Dustin back out of a trip to Steve’s grandparents’ cabin over Christmas break, Steve’s a little disappointed. But he can’t lie: the idea of spending the weekend alone with Eddie is pretty damn appealing. He’d been hoping to get Eddie away from the others, so he could finally tell him how he feels, and now he’s got the whole weekend to do it.

a single resolution

1.8k / T / December 2022

It’s New Year’s Eve and Steve doesn’t want to be the only one without someone to kiss at midnight, so he slips away to spend the rest of 1989 alone in his room. And then Eddie finds him.

(A New Year’s Eve first kiss)

Another year—another decade—is coming to a close and Steve is still alone. A burst of laughter sounds behind him, reminding him of his apartment is full of friends, the ones who called earlier because they can’t be here, and he amends alone to single.

Most of the time, he can bear it, but it’s harder at night. And harder still on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by happy couples. He loves his friends and he’s happy for them, but seeing them so in love only makes the ache in him grow.

Podfic by Amanita_Fierce

little things mean a lot

1.7 k / T / January 2023

Shafts of light dance over the room as a sweetly cool breeze flutters the curtains. One catches on a small glass bottle sitting on Steve’s dresser. It reminds him there’s something he’s been wanting to ask Eddie for a while now:

“How come you don’t bring me stuff anymore?”

(The one where Eddie used to bring Steve random trinkets but there was a small misunderstanding)

single / taken / pining

4.4 k / T / February 2023

When a girl Steve’s trying to flirt with starts flirting with Eddie, Steve says the only thing that comes to mind: he tells her Eddie’s married. It’s not his smoothest moment, but it works, and Eddie goes along with it. It's not like Eddie was interested, anyway, and he figures Steve wanted the ladies to himself. So, Steve figures that must be it, too.

But a little later it hits him: he doesn’t want to keep the ladies to himself. He wants to keep Eddie to himself.

Also posted in parts on tumblr

Table for Two

3.4 k / T / February 2023

And maybe Eddie still thinks Valentine’s Day, specifically, is kind of bullshit, but looking at Steve standing in front of him, so fucking handsome and making Eddie’s pulse skip just by being there, he gets why so many people fall for it.

Eddie doesn’t think when Steve mentions Valentine’s Day, just goes into his usual spiel, not realizing he might be trampling all over Steve’s hopes and plans until it’s too late. And that’s how he ends up determined to give Steve the best Valentine’s Day ever.

to be close to you

1.6k / T / March 2023

Eddie picks up the sweater, cradling it in his hands. It’s soft, and Eddie already knows it smells like Steve, but he brings it to his face and inhales anyway. Fuck, it smells good. Steve smells good. A wave of heat washes through Eddie, and he flops back again, face still covered by the sweater. What is he doing? Steve leaves his sweater behind after he and Eddie hang out, and Eddie has feelings about it.

those magic fingers

2.4k / T / March 2023

Eddie has a sore back, Steve offers the solution: one back rub. Totally platonic. No ulterior motives or hidden feelings whatsoever. “Okay, just—” Steve pauses, suddenly wondering what the hell he’s doing and why he offered to do this. But he did, and if he backs down, Eddie will know something’s up. So, he draws in a deep breath and says, “Tell me if it hurts.”

the sweetest words

1.2k / T / March 2023

“Why do you have a favorite part of my face?” “Why wouldn’t I?” “Why would you?” “Because.” “That’s not an answer.” “Oh, my friend, but it is.” (Wherein Eddie likes Steve's face and tells him all about his favorite parts)

Whenever you need shelter

4.4k / T / May 2023

Steve locks himself out of the house on a stormy night when his parents are out of town. It’s not an ideal situation, but it leads him to Eddie’s where he gets warm and dry and learns a few things about himself. “You know, seeing Steve Harrington in a Slayer shirt might just make my whole week.” He pushes off the dresser he’s leaning against and claps a hand to Steve’s arm. His brows shoot up and he says, “Shit, dude, you’re freezing,” rubbing his hands over Steve’s arms. Warmth flows through Steve and, distantly, he thinks it might be from more than the motion of Eddie’s hands making Steve’s blood circulate. He raises a brow, heart beating inexplicably hard.

half as much

1.8k / T / July 2023

A wish. The last thing Steve needs tonight. But he closes his eyes all the same, wishes coming too easily, the first that he could have this every night. Or, not this exactly, but being with Eddie. More and more, all Steve wants to do is hang out with him. Be near him. There’s something about him, and the way being with him makes Steve feel—he wishes it was like this with the girls he’s been dating lately.

Inspired by this beautiful art

always be like this

2.1k / T / July 2023

This thing with Eddie started on the first day of summer, and Steve feels good about that. Every now and then, he wonders if it’s a summer romance, period, wishing the summer could last forever so he’ll never have to find out, but… No. It feels more solid than that. Like it's going to last. He splashes Eddie again, and Eddie splashes him back, and it turns into a game of who can splash each other the most (Steve wins, no matter what Eddie says) and they wrestle and dunk each other until Steve’s lungs ache with laughing and Eddie finally admits defeat.

Under the Porch Light

1.9k / T / August 2023

After that, it kind of becomes a thing: the two of them on the step outside Eddie’s trailer, talking and talking. It’s gradual, and it’s not something they do consciously, so Eddie doesn’t realize that it’s becoming a thing, but it’s not long before those nights with Steve become a highlight in his life.

Inspired by this beautiful art

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[halcyon-writings]

i checked this list and it said persona so im hoping this is still ok. Date night with the protagonists? (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and thank you >///

ー『anonymous: Can i get dating headcanons for the persona protags (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and super thank yous. I love these boys so much. ;A;』

note(s): I am going to combine these requests as they are similar enough I hope that is alright! no real warnings for this one either, I just think these dudes are neat. Also I know they all have like 5 different names, so I just went with the ones I am more familiar with. Maybe(????) spoilers for 3, 4, and 5, so if you haven’t finished or played them, be warned (although, idk if anyone would read it if they haven’t played the respective game but idk warning for spoilers just in case) also idk how i feel about these hcs rn, but i did my best dhdjdj

all my other links can be found in my navigation post!! If you like my writing and you’d like to support me, my tip jar is also linked there!

hcs under the cut so i’m not clogging anyone’s dash (originally these were gonna be a short set of hcs but i guess not dbdndn)

What our dear protagonist lacks in overall extrovertedness, he makes up for in action. Surprise surprise, dates can either range from hanging out in the dorms and cooking a nice meal together. Or maybe going to the mall and heading to the arcade. Or basically wandering around until your legs hurt and your purchases range from new outfits to weird antiques from the antique shop.

However he really does treasure these little trinkets, because the memory of your laughter when you were given a certain item will forever be ingrained in his mind. It’s a comfort in the end too.

Date nights are focused on you and you only. He definitely sets a date where he knows you both are free so that there’s less likely of a chance for being interrupted. He definitely wouldn’t want his time with you to be wasted. Although seeing his small pout when it does happen is very cute.

You also gotta be keen on if he sees something he likes and wants. While Minato won’t exactly say it, his gaze lingers a bit longer than usual. But he ultimately won’t get it, because he wants to focus on you and also save up for when the group goes to Tartarus. So if you surprise him with whatever he had wanted, he’s so happy.

While he is slightly more reserved in comparison to Yu and Akira, Minato speaks through action. Whenever you two are walking together, he always has your hand in his, or keeping close by in some way. He likes to cling to you when it’s just you two, his head buried in the crook of your neck as you two nap tother, legs tangled up together. Or the small jokes he says loud enough for only you to hear, but they’re still so funny. Sometimes you’re asked if he’s really a good boyfriend, and you have to laugh off the doubt, because they don’t see the sides of him that you do.

My god. Yu would absolutely be the best at arranging dates and hangouts. I take no criticism. Like you guys could literally just be walking all around Inaba, or just sitting by the river bed and it could be one of the greatest times you’ve both had together. A romantic at heart, Yu would also be a bit cheesy in arranging dates.

He shows affection through communcating it. Whether it’s a new outfit or something, he’ll say that you look incredible or if you’ve studied for a hard exam, he’ll make sure you know how amazing you are for passing. Idk just anything that has you smiling from sweet compliments and other words of affirmation. A big sap, honestly you try and joke about it but he just earnestly says “Who wouldn’t be for you?” And you have to sit down and hide your face in your hands for a solid 5 minutes.

You also gotta be cool with Nanako. But then again she’s a cute kid and a sweetheart so idk why you wouldn’t be. Although he does get a little flustered if it’s you two watching her while Dojima-san is working late at the station and the old ladies coo over how you three look like a mini family yourselves. Which is kind of a common occurrence. And I feel like Yu would know pretty well if he sees a future with someone he’s with, and with you he does shhh

Date nights in Inaba are really fun and a good way to wind down, sometimes it’s wandering Junes and finding whatever the newly advertised, as seen on tv appliance is. Or other parts of the shopping district, where he can really let go and just have fun for himself. When not worrying about school work or the cases the Investigation Team is working on.

some spoilers here; but after Izanami is defeated and the year ends. When Yu has to leave Inaba it doesn’t mean that he won’t put his best efforts to keep up the relationship. If possible, video calls or just the occasional text too. And when he visits, while he does miss his friends, he’s especially antsy to see you too. And when you’re both together again, he refuses to leave your side.

Now, Akira can be described as this suave, casanova type character. But he’s also a giant dork and you know it, he knows it, the Phantom Thieves all know it, hell even Sojiro knows it. It doesn’t mean his attempts at flirting doesn’t get you blushing. And when he sees the flustered expression, it only motivates him to keep going. But turn the tables on him, and he’s putty in your hands. (And he looks very cute).

Because of the way you met, aka, at Shujin, where his reputation was basically over and done with before it even began, he has a lot of doubt and trust issues, what if someone dared you to speak to the “criminal” or something? While he won’t show these doubts out loud to his friends, it’s still something he thinks back on a lot. But when you defend him vehemently one day, he knows he was right to trust you.

A part of dating Akira, is eventually finding out who he is. Maybe trips to Mementos cause him to be late to dates or not even show up at all. You end up stood up more often then not once things begin to get really serious. From small time school teachers to the literal Yakuza (and eventually a candidate for Prime Minister, and a god), you don’t know where he is. And that becomes really stressful because then the doubt™️ sets in.

To make this less angsty and more funny, imagine you know from figuring it out. He’s suspiciously watching the news on the PT, and no offense to Ryuji, he’s not the most quiet. So he’s so nervous trying to tell you when you’re just “yeah I know, sorry for not telling you, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to know.” and he’s just the surprised pikachu face.

As for date nights, the city is your oyster. I’d say the world but mans still currently has a criminal record so probably not yet. But he’s gonna take you wherever you want. Whether it’s a themed cafe, or just the streets of Shinjuku, as you take in all the sights from the bright places, he’s willing to do whatever for you. That includes facing off kids at the arcade for a stuffed plush you saw and admitted it was cute. He is a man on a mission. And you cannot stop him. So you both end up back at Leblanc at the end of the night carrying your plushies and eating some curry that Sojiro left warming for you. That even includes the Big Bang Burger challenge he will do it for you , even though you probably do laugh at his pain after but you still coo and praise his efforts.

After he goes back home, record clean and world hopefully peaceful. Virtual dates become a thing, either just sitting and talking while having dinner or something is nice. He still loves to say those cheesy pickup lines that had you hiding your flustered expression as you walked through the streets of Shibuya on call. You only hung up on him once but he quickly called back and was very pouty about it. You were forgiven though with the promise of giving many kisses when he visits.

[spacetravelwriter]

Langblr reactivation challenge

Week 1

Day 1: Create an introduction post about yourself. What's your name? What languages are you studying? What languages do you hope to study? What do you hope you'll get out of this challenge? Add whatever else you’d like to your introduction post!

Name: Kanita

Nationality: Bosnia and Herzegovina

Native in: Bosnian(+Serbian, Croatian), English

Languages learning:

Spanish (upper intermediate) - I haven't taken any DELE exams, I don't really learn Spanish, I use it on a daily basis and I gotten myself up to a high level like this;

German (B1 from 2 years ago) - I haven't used German in over 2 years (since I started uni I haven't had much use for it) and the German I knew was from school, I plan on getting back my level and exceeding it one day, but for now I'm not in the mood to get back to it, maybe next year;

Basque (beginner) - I'm not a total beginner, I have been learning it since May, I can express some of my thoughts, I've been learning it mostly with the book "The Basque language: A practical introduction" by Alan R. King and I had done a 14-day challenge before that to get myself into the basics. I'm totally in love with this language and I plan on being conversational until May-June 2023, aka in around half a year

Special mentions: Arabic(Syrian), Japanese - I'm really interested in learning these languages but I'm making myself put it on hold before I get a bit more comfortable in my Basque

Main target language: Basque/Euskara + I want to take a DELE Spanish exam next year (C1 hopefully)

I've already explained it here that I'm far away from the Basque Country, and that I don't plan on working there (at least anytime soon, my love for the culture of Euskal Herria is growing every day) but that I still somehow fell in love with this language. I might not need to use it anytime soon, but I feel happy learning it. Plus, I did use it once in real life. Here's a fun short story:

In the same post I've mentioned where I got the idea of studying Basque from. This August I visited Madrid to watch Real Madrid's women's team play in the Champions League. Long story short, I met the player I mentioned in the post (Nahikari) and while most of the conversation we had was in Spanglish, I told her something in Euskera. I totally messed up the word order (also giggled) the first time I said it but she asked me to repeat it and understood me. So, I count it as using the language even though I said one single sentence (it was pretty long though, I had to think about it a lot).

What do I hope to get out of this challenge? Well, hopefully connect with more people that are studying the same languages I mentioned, especially Basque because it's really hard to find another person studying Basque.

[kelleah-meah]

Plans for My 2022 Summer Solstice

Hello there! It's that time of year again. That's right. We're coming up on the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, aka Litha, aka Midsummer, aka one of my favorite natural phenomena that I've come to love celebrating.

Seriously, I enjoy it far more than Yule or Christmas or [insert other holiday normal folks love more than I do]. If I had to rank my favorite days of the calendar in relation to my spiritual journey, it would go Halloween, the Summer Solstice and the Fall Equinox.

Anyway, because work has been especially busy for me this past few months and I'm well overdue for a mental timeout, but can't take one until July, I'm trying to make this a bit more reasonable and relaxed compared to the last 2 Midsummers I celebrated in 2020 and 2021.

Famous last words, right?

This year's solstice weekend also falls on the same weekend as Juneteenth and Father's Day here in the US. And I'll be visiting my folks that Sunday before Litha to enjoy some good food, games and movie watching. (As well as sneak in a load of laundry.)

But when I return home, I hope to spend as much of the next 2 days as digital free as I can. I mean, I'll need my DVD player to run my Pilates workout, and I'll probably listen to music or a podcast while I cook dinner.

But I really want to try to detox a little bit and focus on simple joyful activities that don't involve a TV, computer, or the internet. So below you'll see me list things like: read my book (printed, not digital); listen to vinyl records; paint; ride my bike in the park; etc.

It's a way to fill the day with joyful experiences while also allowing my senses to connect with what truly moves me in the analog world. And hopefully with fewer EM field emissions.

Without further ado, here's the plan so far ...

Sunday, June 19th ---

Spend the day at my Mom's house ✔️

Relax ✔️

Play trivia game ✔️

Wash laundry ✔️

Enjoy family dinner ✔️

Monday, June 20th ---

Meditate + Tao study + Tarot reading ✔️

Do Pilates workout ✔️+

Work on jigsaw puzzle ✔️

Make Lavender Lemonade ✔️

Go for a walk in the park ✔️

Bake Honey Cakes

Plant flowers in new pot

Paint while listening to vinyl records ✔️~

Write in journal

Tuesday, June 21st ---

Watch sunrise (5:13 am EDT) ✔️

Read my book ✔️

Meditate + Tarot reading for the Solstice ✔️

Go for bike ride in the park

Cook Summer Solstice menu ✔️

Dance around the house

Relax ✔️

Watch sunset

Watch fun/silly movie or TV show (maybe the new season of Derry Girls or Sonic the Hedgehog 2) ✔️

As for the menu, it's essentially the same as last year's, but with a small change:

Breakfast:

Peppermint tea with honey ✔️

Toast with apricot jam ✔️

Banana ✔️

Lunch:

Fresh spinach salad with cherry tomatoes & mushrooms ✔️

Pasta with basil and diced tomatoes ✔️

Honey cake

Lavender lemonade ✔️

Snack:

Apple

Water with lemon ✔️

Dinner:

Baked chicken breast ✔️

Fresh spinach salad with cherry tomatoes & mushrooms ✔️

Honey cake

Ice cream ✔️

Vodka Collins

I'm worried I'll be stuck in the kitchen all day if I save the cooking for the day of the Solstice, so I'm going to make the lemonade and honey cakes the day before.

We'll see how this year's plans play out. Hopefully, it will be as relaxing as I like and need it to be.

Watch this space!