#AAAAAAH (don’t mind me) (just getting my frustrations out)

[vitzoki]

People really are out here being upset with Luke Newton for being fucking phenomenal at his job, charismatic, a gentleman, caring, funny, sweet, and being good FRIENDS with Nicola Coughlan. So, uhm just being perfect.

Polin would be disappointed.

[maizumis]

— HAIKYUU BOYS WHEN YOU KISS THEM OUT OF THE BLUE

ft. timeskip! Hinata shoyo, osamu Miya, atsumu Miya, bokuto koutaro, iwaizumi hajime

note: suggestive❗suggestive my copying mechanism

❦HINATA was watching one of his old high school games on Saturday afternoon, casually, his only free day. You missed him, so much during the weekend and of course you couldn’t get mad at him for relaxing a little, but you wanted a little of his attention too “shoyo, do you want to do something, like, together? I miss you” no response, of course. That’s it im gonna do it, you think; “babe what are you doing-“ next thing he knows is that you are on top of his lap, kissing, trying to get him of you are feeling, he kissed back after a second, knowing you weren’t gonna stop “babe its not like im complaining, but why was that” you roll your eyes with a little smile on your face and peck him before answering “I miss you shoyo, please at least let me cuddle you while you watch that match, please?” with both of his big arms he accommodates you on top of him so you could see the game too “of course bub, anything for you”

❦OSAMU was stressed you could tell, owning a whole onigiri shop it’s not something easy, his mind was a thousand miles per hour, he needed a break, but his big brain couldn’t let him take it “ ‘samu just a little break yeah? You are going to be refresh after that and things aren’t going to be as difficult” he didn’t  look up to you, still too busy searching for the special ingredient his new recipe needed “baby a promise im gonna take a break, in a little bit” that was the nth time he told you that already feeling frustrated because of him “ ‘samu, I want you to know that im not sorry for what im about to do” he looks up to you and your lips are on his, his eyes open before closing them and guiding his hand behind your neck so he could pull you deeper into the kiss “ummm ma baby ya know what, a think a wanna lay down with ya a little” you’re happy, finally he is taking a very much needed and deserved break; with both of your arms around his neck, your lips ghosting his you answer “uh-huh, a nap would do us good”

❦ATSUMU need to go to work, but he is still whining about how he wants to stay ‘with his baby in bed for the rest of his life’  “tsumu, I want that too, but things in life are not free, I pinky promise we can stay in bed watching movies all night” he sighs, still sure about his purpose in life “ugh babe, do ya even love me? Is this yer way to tell me im clingy? Please let me lay down with ma favorite person in da world, please” it was starting to be difficult for you too, he is pretty convincing sometimes “babe why aren’t ya answering? Is this yer way ta tell me im right? Please don’t leave me, I love ya” wasn’t he noisy? you kiss him to shut him up, glad that the bed was behind the two of you cause falling to the floor would have hurt. He kissed back in that exact same moment, he is not letting go the chance to feel so close to his precious baby “tsumu, let me finish when im talking, now go to work then maybe im gonna kiss you like that again when you are home” his legs are moving faster than his brain does, anything for kisses, he think “bye ma love! take care of ya and don’t miss me!”

❦BOKUTO was now waiting for you to arrive home, sad that the only free day he had in the week you were working, he couldn’t stop thinking of you for a second, imagine what the two of you could do once you were home, like bake something, play a board game, maybe stay under the covers enjoying each other’s presence, he would be satisfied with anything at the moment, what he didn’t knew is that you got out early from work and now you are making your way towards his tall and beefy body to surprise him with a kiss, running to him , you actually get to kiss him, what you didn’t expect what his answer “aaaaaah! Please stranger do not kiss me, I have a lovely girlfriend I want to make my wifey- oh, it’s you, hi bub, I missed you so much, actually I thought about what we could do together once you were home” you smile, getting yourself out of the floor, wrapping your arms around his torso and smacking your face to his chest “Bo, I missed you too, and you know something? I want to make you my hubby too” he smiles, now his arms are around you picking you up and spinning you around “I love you so much baby, just let me think a proper propose and im gonna make our dream real”

❦IWAIZUMI was busy, being with a bunch of energetic players sometimes could be exhausting, he loved his job, but lately it was draining him. He was now in the dinner table trying to make some rehabilitations routines for the big boys he had to take care of. You loved hajime with all your heart and seeing him like that broke your heart “iwa, do you want something? You seem tired bub” he chuckles and brings his eyes up to you “I do not look tired, im actually tired hehe, but thanks doll, im okay” choosing to light up the mood a little, you went beside him, making you comfortable in his legs, giving him a deep and long kiss that he needed, one of his hand making his way to your waist while the other one was down your thigh, kissing back furiously “uhm, I think you need that hajime” you told him while moving out his dark locks of his face  “I indeed needed that, thank to my baby that always know what I want, do you want to stay here, please?” you answered whit a little nod hiding your face on his neck, his left hand resting in your thigh while his right one was writing down the routines “love you baby, thank you for all the support you give me” chuckling and closing your eyes, focusing on his breathing, you reply “I love you too hajime, thanks to you for sticking with me”

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hey!! If ur comfortable with this could u maybe do cherry blossom and joe for sk8 with a s/o that has adhd and is often forgetful

kaoru sakurayashiki x gn!reader, kojiro nanjo x gn!reader

a/n: sure thing!! I don’t think I’ve written for either of them yet, so I do hope it turns out alright-! Thank you so much for requesting!!

The way just listening to the Sk8 into and outro gets me prepared to write for it aaaaaah, it’s so good,,,, those are 2 songs that never fail to make me happy;;;

Benekejdjd I also just realized I call Cherry by his real name, yet call Joe his S name,,,, oh well KSNEKDNDJ sorry for my inconsistency 😭✌️

warnings: none <3

word count: 916

Cherry Blossom/Kaoru Sakurayashiki <3

Honestly? Kaoru is wonderful to be in a relationship with when struggling with forgetfulness.

He’s naturally pretty good at remembering things, but he’s also an avid fan of AI- so, you have both Kaoru and Carla to remind you! Just tell him something important, or something small you feel like you should remember, and he’ll be telling Carla to remember it as well. Human minds are flawed, but Carla surely won’t forget!!

Now, if you forget before telling him/thinking to tell him, he’ll be as calm and understanding as ever.

He isn’t exactly sure how to jog your memory sometimes, but he will do the whole “retrace your steps” thing. Tells you to go back to the other room and enter this one again- try to figure out what you were thinking about beforehand. Maybe being back in the other room will help…?

Or, if it’s during a conversation, and you forget what you were about to say- just tell him you forgot, and he’s calmly listing off things about the conversation. Keywords, almost? Facts about a story one of you just told, words that stick out, etc.

As frustrating as forgetting can be, Kaoru has patience to make up for it. He doesn’t mind doing his best to help you, you’re his s/o after all. If he’s patient and loving (in his own way) towards the kids’ antics, he’s going to be just the same towards you.

If you express your frustration, he isn’t quite sure what exactly to do. He can handle practical things- reminding you, helping you with tasks, but emotions are a bit different.

Despite that, he will try to help. Not out of obligation, but because he genuinely cares, and genuinely wants you to know it’s all right.

“Ah… there, there, (Y/N). It’s completely understandable to be upset, but it’s alright to be forgetful. That’s what I’m for, isn’t it? Why else would you have a boyfriend such as myself, with an assistant such as Carla? If it’s something you can’t remember, it will either come back to you because it’s something you should remember- and, if it doesn’t, I’m sure it wasn’t too important in the first place.”

Doesn’t exactly know how to deal with crying either, so if you do get frustrated to a point of tears, he’ll kind of… pinch your face? Not harshly, but enough to get you to focus on him instead. Once he has your attention, he’ll give his little spiel.

Of course, he isn’t heartless- he’ll comfort you however you need him to. Hugs, kisses, etc <3

“(Y/N), wouldn’t a kiss be more likely to distract you from what you want to remember?”

“It’ll distract me ‘cos I’m upset that I can’t remember..”

“Don’t pout- I’m not denying your request, just questioning your methods a bit.”

Joe/Kojiro Nanjo <3

Joe may not be as effective as Kaoru, but he does try as hard-!!

He may be charismatic and confident, but he’s still a loving boyfriend. He wants to help you in any way he can, and if memory is the way he should help, then he’s on it!!

He has to have decent memory, he works at a restaurant after all? He’s bound to be able to remember orders and recipes, so things that you need him to remember isn’t normally a problem!

Just to be safe, he keeps sticky notes around! On counters, he even has a few set in the kitchen- just in case you walk in, telling him to please remind you of a certain date or something you need to do! He’s pausing whatever he’s doing, if it can be paused, and writing it down, giving you a sweet “got it, baby!”

When he’s not able to see you in person, he doesn’t mind you sending him texts! He’ll write it down just the same, set a reminder in his phone- or, if it’s important enough, or he’s worried he’ll actually forget as well, he’ll (ask?) tell Kaoru to set a reminder on his little machine assistant.

(“She has a name, you idiot gorilla. I’ll do it for (Y/N)’s sake, of course, because they actually remember Carla.”

“Ah, I remember. I just don’t care-“

“You’re on thin freaking ice.”)

If you walk up to him, opening your mouth to say something, then shutting it- your eyebrows furrowing to try and get yourself to remember- he’ll also be very patient. (He’ll also find your expression strangely cute, as if everything about you isn’t.)

“What were you doing before you came in here? Watching anything, searching for something?”

He’s not as great at jogging your memory as Kaoru is, but he certainly won’t give up. Heck, he’ll walk around the entire house with you, or go to the room you were just in. Pointing at things, trying to list anything that may be a keyword- any way he can try and help!!

Now, if you get frustrated because of your forgetfulness, he can handle it a bit better than Kaoru.

If you start to cry, or even if you just need a hug, he’s hugging you, patting your head carefully. Buff gorilla though he is, he’s a loving buff gorilla who definitely gives good hugs (and kisses)!

“Don’t cry, (Y/N), it’s alright. I know you’re frustrated, but I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually. You don’t need to be upset with yourself just because you forgot. It’s not like you chose to forget, so don’t get too worked up… it’ll all be okay, I promise <3.”

[elysianslove]

AAAAAAH I LOVE YOUR JJK WORKS SM 😩 would you please write smth where nobara and reader dorm next to each other and she notices that reader has been rlly sus recently, sneaking out at night and not coming back till morning so when she does follow her one night its just reader sneaking into yuujis room to get railed lol

OMG BABE TY SO MUCH!! also this idea is so hilarious to me oh my god thank you for requesting eeeee. i hope i did it justice 

everyone’s aged up here! 

━ she first takes notice on a sleepless night. her dorm resides right next to yours, and the walls are not exactly the thickest, neither are the floorboards nor the door any quieter. they don’t provide the means to be as sneaky as one desires, but she presumes you’ve always been a little too bold for your own good. considering nobara’s bed is settled directly against the wall where your own bed sits, she hears you when you shuffle out from beneath the covers, and as you move around your room until the she hears the familiar screech of the door being slowly opened. 

and just like that, you’re gone. 

nobara doesn’t consider herself as a nosy person, per se, but she is curious. maybe a little too curious, a little too imaginative, so much that her mind had already made up at least a thousand scenarios by the time she’s lulled to sleep. she’s a relatively heavy sleeper, so she wakes up to your pillow smacking, as if the night before hadn’t happened and you were as innocent as can be.

she doesn’t think much of it until she realizes just how invested she is in discovering your little secret, until she realizes just how many nights in a row you sneak out of your room. after too many nights listening in, she decides to take initiative, and asks you for a sleepover. 

it strikes her harsh in the face when you decline, claiming to be too sleepy, before you sneak away that same night. 

it’s then that she decides she’s had enough, and angrily, her feet lead the way, a storm brewing behind her. she catches up to you quick, but instead of confronting you in the middle of the school grounds like this in the dead of the night, she continues to follow you at a safe distance, as quietly as her frustration and pettiness can allow her — towards the boys’ dorms?

for what reason could you possibly be sneaking away into the boys’ dormitory nightly? 

instead of following you inside and risking getting caught in her little mission, nobara struts outside the windows, peaking in through what the blinds could reveal to her of each of the boys’ rooms. okay, maybe this is a little too creepy, but seriously, it had been the last straw. each of them seemed to be sleeping peacefully, while others had the blinds shut so tightly she couldn’t see through, unfortunately enough. 

there is one person nobara knows stupid enough to leave their blinds open, and leave them open while in such a daring position too. it’s like yuuji’s asking to be seen, seriously and no one wants to see him making out half naked with —

“what the fuck?!”

apparently her screech is loud enough even to stun her, and she clamps a hand over her mouth quickly, as if that could reverse the damage. it can’t, however, do anything of the sort, and suddenly, your eyes are on hers. no, they’re looking through hers, and she’s thinking that maybe she ought to have thought this through more thoroughly. 

the window slides open roughly, and a confused yuuji stares down at the girl interrupting and invading. “kugisaki?” he asks, eyes curious and head cocked to the side, like this is a completely rational and normal situation to be in. “why are you outside my window?”

nobara breathes in steadily, eyes switching their gaze from yuuji to you, also half naked, on his bed, with your arms clasped over your chest as modestly as you can manage. “seriously? not even a bra?” she deadpans, and you roll your eyes.

“it’s one in the morning,” you reason. “and besides, i don’t need a bra.”

she clicks her tongue, narrowing her eyes at you. yuuji is completely ignored. “you ditched my sleepover for him?” she accuses, pointing a finger in yuuji’s direction.

you pout at her, shoulders slouching slightly as you reply, “i promise i’ll be all yours tomorrow night.”

yuuji falls back onto the bed, the pillows and soft mattress cushioning his fall as he balances a hand on your thigh. “that’s what you said to me,” he points out. 

with one hand still managing to cradle and conceal your breasts, you swat at his hand playfully, before returning your apologetic look towards nobara. she holds it with her own, accusatory glare for a few seconds, before she sighs, deflating. “fine,” she says. she then glances at yuuji, lifts her middle finger and spits out, “get fucked.” 

yuuji grins. “oh i will.” 

she gags visibly. maybe she needs her own fuck buddy.

[tallyovie-writes]

A taste of their own medicine | F.W.

Summary: you wake up in the hospital wing and as you make your way back to the common room you encounter the twins

Warning:contains no kissing, fluff, it's just a teaser for my enemies to lovers fic. I already have 3 2k+ chapters up on ff.net if you are intrested

(Please be kind english is not my main language, I had to replace oc's name with you so it might contain a lot of yous) Enjoy!

You awoke at midnight. The hammering in your brain eased into a light pressure.

The Hospital Wing was swallowed by the comforting hands of darkness, but at the moment you found no friend in it. You carefully sat up, testing whether the nausea returns or not. Fortunately the latter came true, so you gathered your few belongings and tiptoed around the labyrinth of chairs, beds and folding screens trying not to trip over either of them. You cringed at the sound that the door made as you opened it, the creaking of the ancient oak echoed through the Hall. The small light that came from the opening made the hammering in your head more palpable, you had to nictate until your eyes adjusted to the blinding blaze that illuminated the corridors. Without casting a glance back in the direction of Madam Pomfrey's chamber, you slipped through the crack and started your way back to your dormitories.

You knew you wouldn't get in trouble now for being out after curfew, but habit is hard to break so you casted a quick Silencio on your shoes. You weren't afraid like in your first year, but the thrill that went with being alone in the castle in the dead of night still made your heart beat out of your chest. you didn't need to cast Lumos, the fires provided enough light just to get by. You wouldn't even need the fires, after spending most of your life roaming the endless hallways, you knew the castle map like the back of your hand. Especially around the Hospital Wing and between the Slytherin Common Room.

As you were turning for the dungeons past descending down the stairs, a faint murmuring made you abruptly stop. At first, you thought only your imaginative mind went on a wild ride, but after five seconds of listening, a soft chuckle convinced you that you weren't indeed alone.Preparing for an attack from Peeves, your fingers encircled around the base of your wand.

The tension in your shoulders eased when you peeked around and didn't see a soul.

But then who did you hear? And where did they hide? you assumed there were at least two of them, because of the laughter. Or someone was just clinically insane to be laughing on their own.

You recalled the layout of the corridor. There were at least three secluded alcoves where they could hide, but from your side you were able to see all three of them and they were empty. There were no shadows hanging from behind St. Edgard's statue, no bump on the curtains, and them being invisible didn't even cross your mind. But then where were they? Were you imagining sounds as an aftershock of the powder?

Then it popped into your head. The secret passage! Between the second and first floor there was a hidden stairway. On this side it was camouflaged as a regular stone wall, on the other side a tapestry hid the entrance. But if they were hiding in the secret passage, you could only think of a few people who had the knowledge of its existence. A very few people. To be honest, the list contained two people beside you and your friends. You let out a frustrated groan.

Fred and George Weasley.

Not keen on making yourself the victim of some prank, you had to figure a way past them. Of course you could go on the long way back, but a plus 20 minutes in the freezing corridors made you shiver. No way in hell. You just only needed a plan.

As the steps formulated in your mind, a devilish smile crept on your cheeks.

"Expulso" you whispered. The statue near you exploded with a loud bang. In the following silence you could still hear the sound travelling throughout the castle. Now you only needed to wait. There wasn't a chance that Filch didn't hear it.

"Oi, Fred what did you do?" proved true your suspicion as you heard an angry Weasley questioning his twin.

"Nothing mate, I thought you did it!" answered a very confused voice belonging to Fred Weasley.

In the distance you could hear the approaching steps of Argus Filch. Okay, not just that. Staying true to his character, the sentence 'Let me just get you in my hands' accompanied by a series of variable threats foretold the caretaker's arrival.

"Shit, hurry up Feorge! I don't wanna be caught! I'm pretty content with my life and I want my arse in one piece when mum sees us during Christmas!"

Ah, yes. Here came phase 2.

As soon as you heard steps running up the stairs, you sneaked out of the connecting corridor that previously shielded you. You rushed to the stone wall, your blood flow rapidly pulsating, and touched your wand twice on the stone up right, once on the low left then traced a line from the left to the right. As the entrance revealed itself, you saw two hastily retreating backs. It was time the twins got a taste of their own medicine.

Swishing your wand in a circular motion, you murmured the next spell.

"Glisseo!"

"Fred, did you heaa....Aaaaaah!" started George, but as the stairs turned to a ramp and they started to slide down, his sentence was cut short.

Heart pounding against your chest, you hid again on the other hallway that meant your safety.

Filch's victory cry and the boy's swearing was a melody you will be hearing on your bad days. You couldn't stop yourself from stealing a glance at the three figures. The sight made you forget about your headache. The two seventh year boys were dragged by their ear thanks to Filch, but even this couldn't shut their mouth.

"We missed you Filch over the summer-" started one of them."-brought you some sweets too, sorry to miss your birthday. It tastes like nougat."

How they knew when was the caretaker's birthday you had no idea. You didn't really understand either why their eyes gleamed in an odd way when they talked about the nougat.

Before you could pull your head fully back, one of the twin's eyes snapped in your direction. you were fast enough to not let him catch a glance, but the rapidity of the motion made your hair swing in the other direction. But this wasn't a problem, you guessed, even the twins won't be able to trace this back to you just by your hair.

Feeling proud of yourself, you let a little warmth spread in your chest.

Keeping your head up, you continued your way to the Common Room with graceful steps as soon as the magic trio could not be heard.

Yes, now you can sleep tight.

[ericsonclan]

A Friend's Twisted Love Part 4

Summary: With nowhere to run, the Ericson Pirates must face off against the Delta Pirates and - worst of all - their former friend Minerva.

Read on A03:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Put her over there,” Ruby guided Louis into the captain’s quarter, instructing him to place Clementine down on the bed in the captain’s quarters. She immediately began to tend to Clementine’s wound even though she knew that it was a long shot that Clementine would be able to keep her leg. Ruby had to prioritize making sure Clementine was stable. Only then could she determine whether or not she would be keeping the leg.

Louis paced back and forth, his mind a jumbled mess. My crew. My family. How many of them got hurt today? It’s all my fault. Louis' eyes became blurry with tears as he continued to mentally beat himself up for his shortcomings as captain.

Aasim burst into the room, holding the supplies Ruby needed. The two of them began to discuss how they were going to deal with all the injuries spread throughout the crew. As Ruby and Aasim worked to stabilize Clementine,

Louis was able to get his voice to work again. “Is there anything I can do?”

Ruby glanced up at Louis before returning her gaze to Clementine’s bloodied leg. “The best thing you can do now is help the others. With Clem’s leg and Violet’s eyes... I don’t know when I’ll be able to get to them.” Ruby's voice was weary, her eyes sorrowful as she examined the messed up leg.

Holy shit. Vi! Louis couldn’t believe that he had forgotten about her. His legs raced through the lower deck while his eyes searched for the right door. He quickly slammed open the door to one of the crew’s sleeping quarters that had been turned into a medic bay.

Prisha sat by Violet’s hammock holding her hand. When she looked up to see who had made the noise, Louis could tell she had been crying. “Louis... Are you here to check on Violet?” Prisha’s voice sounded hollow.

“Yeah. How’s she doing?” Louis' throat felt tight and unnaturally tense. He made his way over to see her. His eyes were plagued with a mixture of disbelief and sadness as he saw his best friend lying in the hammock. Both of her eyes were littered with burn marks. The color of the scorched flesh clashed against her skin.

“She’s…” Prisha’s voice faded out. “Ruby said her eyes aren’t infected.”

“That’s good.” Louis tried to sound optimistic but his tone betrayed him.

Both of them stared at Violet in silence while she laid there in the hammock asleep. Her slow, rhythmic breathing was the only sound in the room.

Louis stayed there for a few minutes in the suffocating silence before leaving. He quietly made his way around the ship. He wanted to make sure that all the injuries were taken care of so that Ruby could focus on the two most dire cases. After about an hour of bandaging wounds and making sure everyone was safe, he came back to see Prisha still sitting by Violet’s side. He sat down next to her, not sure what to say. Neither of them talked.

The silence was only broken when Ruby walked in carrying some bandages and medicine. “Oh, Louis! Glad I found you. Clem’s stable for now, but we need to get more medical supplies for everyone. Marlon’s steering us toward the nearest port town.”

Louis let out a sigh of relief. Then the words fully processed in his mind.

“Wait. What do you mean ‘for now’?” he asked, concern etched on his face.

“This is a tricky injury. It could get infected and if it does then she may have to lose the leg.” Ruby's voice was shaky. “It’ll be the only way to save her life if the infection gets in.”

“Lose her leg?” Louis’ voice cracked in disbelief. He felt his heart stop. This can’t be real. He felt his head spinning before everything grew dark and he passed out.

Ruby stood shocked by what just happened. “Aasim! Come help me!” she yelled into the hallway. Aasim sprinted in and quickly assisted in lifting Louis onto one of the hammocks. Ruby examined Louis’ shoulder, letting out a series of swears when she saw the injury. It seemed that the bullet had done more damage than he let on. He must have been bleeding this entire time. After a few minutes she was able to patch him up and stop the bleeding. Letting out a sigh of relief, Ruby turned towards Prisha. “I need to see your injury too.”

Prisha shook her head. “Not before you take care of Violet.” Prisha's tone was resolute. Ruby glanced down at the blood that slowly dripped down Prisha’s side. It had created a small pool by her feet. Ruby sighed in frustration. It was clear that Prisha wouldn’t budge on this.

Violet began to stir.“Pri… sha?” She asked, wincing in pain.

Prisha squeezed Violet’s hand. “I’m here. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Prisha's voice was shaky; she hoped Violet wouldn’t notice.

“I-I can’t see. Everything is so fuzzy.” Violet’s voice was coated with fear.

“Shit.” Ruby mumbled in frustration before turning to Aasim. “Go, get Mitch. We’re going to need him for this.”

Aasim quickly exited the room, running down the hall.

It would’ve been better if she was asleep for this, Ruby thought to herself before turning to Violet and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Violet, you got hurt in the explosion. I’m going to need you to be strong while I clean your eyes. I already did it once but I need to do it again. It’s going to hurt like hell. But if I don’t do it, your eyes will get infected.”

Violet shifted, groaning in pain before responding. “Okay. Let’s do it then.”

Just then, Aasim ran in the room along with Mitch.

“Alright, you two. I’m going to need you to go on either side of Violet and hold her down. This is going to hurt so I need you to make sure Violet doesn’t move too much.”

Mitch and Aasim shared a worried look before quickly going on either side of Violet to hold her steady.

“Prisha, I’m going to need you to move. There’s too many people in here as it is and I’ve got to make sure I clean her eyes properly.” Prisha wanted to object but saw the fiery look in Ruby’s eyes. She figured Ruby knew what was best and reluctantly agreed.

“I’ll be right outside, Violet.” She whispered to her girlfriend, squeezing Violet’s hand one last time before exiting.

“Violet, I’m going to apply it on three, okay?”

Violet nodded, her body tensing up while she braced herself for the upcoming pain.

“One, two... three.” Ruby pressed the cloth against Violet’s face. She tried to get the process done as quickly as she could while still making sure to thoroughly clean the injury.

Violet screamed out in unbearable pain. “FUUUUUCK! AAAAAAH!” Violet started kicking the air and writhing in pain. Tears streamed down her face as she cried out. It felt like every inch of her face was on fire.The feeling only seemed to become stronger with each passing moment. The only thought going through her head was how much it hurt. With every passing second she begged for it to stop only for the pain to remain constant and unrelenting.

After a couple minutes Violet stopped squirming, her energy now depleted and her tolerance shattered. Her body lay still on the hammock as it swayed back and forth with the waves. Her eyes refused to stop the tears that were rolling down her face. Quiet, muffled sobs were the only other sound in the room as she repeated the same line again and again, not realizing that the process was already finished. “It hurts. Please stop. It hurts.”

As soon as the cleaning was done and Violet’s eyes had been bandaged, Mitch stormed out of the room, shaking as he thought over what just happened. He tried to calm his heart rate by breathing in and out like Clementine and Ruby had shown the crew, but it wasn’t working. Suddenly he heard a sniffle from around the corner. Curious, he walked over only to be surprised by who was crying. It was Brody.

“Oh, shit. Mitch, I’m sorry. I thought I was getting better, but it’s happening again.” Brody whispered through tears as her entire body shook. She tried to squeeze her arms around her own body, hoping that it would stop the panic attack, but it seemed to do no good.

Mitch stood in front of her for a moment before sweeping Brody up in a tight hug.

She winced slightly at the pressure added on to her bandaged abdomen but her attention was soon drawn elsewhere. She could feel Mitch shaking as he held her tightly in his arms. “What are you doing?” Brody’s voice wavered as she looked up at Mitch.

“I heard that tight hugs can help with the attacks, so I just thought…” Mitch trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Brody leaned into the hug and let herself cry even harder. Her sobs were loud in Mitch’s ears. “So many of us got hurt. We almost lost Violet and Clem. I’m just… I was so scared.” Brody mumbled through rough sobs.

“I was scared shitless. I mean, I’ve known Violet since we were kids.” Mitch paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “When I saw her in that much pain... it hurt like hell.” His eyes threatened to shed tears. Shit, I can’t start crying.

Brody looked over at him.

Mitch turned his head away, embarrassed by his watery eyes. “But we survived.” His voice had an optimistic edge to it. “We all did. Everyone is safe now and that’s what matters.”

Brody gave a small smile at Mitch’s words before nodding. “Yeah. As long as we all have each other we’ll be fine.”

[writing-of-a-british-bitch]

Lost

Fandom: Queen/Bohemian Rhapsody

Specified gender: Female

Pairing: PLATONIC! Freddie Mercury X Reader

TW: language, mentions of sex, a single mother

Genre: ANGST with a fluffy ending

Word Count: 2.9K

Requests: OPEN

A/n: IT HURT ME TO WRITE THIS AAAAAAH. But I also loved writing it too. 

Freddie had been your friend for years, so it was no surprise when he invited you into the band, especially after his bandmates took a  great liking to you and your talents. You were his closest friend and he was yours. Thick as thieves, as his parents said. Whenever you felt like breaking down, when you felt like the world was falling apart around you, he was your light. Your guardian angel. He protected and defended you when Roger got too snappy and explosive. You broke petty fights and knocked some sense into the stubborn singer. And though you grew closer with Brian, Roger and Deaky, Freddie was your number one. Until Paul, that is. Band movie nights turned into parties that Roger, Brian, Deaky and you were unwillingly dragged to. The day's out with your best friend turned to days out with your best friend and Paul with Paul dictating everywhere you went and everything you did until it was just days at home while Freddie and Paul went out and about. Before you knew it, Paul had whisked Freddie away to a world of alcohol, drugs and sex clubs. The only time you tend to see Freddie were at hurried rehearsals, where you barely got a word in anymore. Just Paul commenting on every detail, watching intently whenever anyone in the band moved. With every second that passed, you could feel Freddie slipping further and further through your fingertips. Changing. You missed him. You missed your Freddie.

"We're a rock and roll band, we don't do disco," Roger huffed, throwing the lyric sheet on the floor but Deaky simply shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

"It's not disco," He responded coolly, causing Roger to bristle with irritation and frustration. You merely watched with an amused smile, leant against the wall behind Miami, foot propped against it.

"Then what is it?" Brian asked, folding his arms over his chest, curly hair dancing around his face as he turned his head.

"It's Queen," Deaky replied shortly. You were seconds away from releasing a laugh when a certain voice filtered in through the speakers, making Miami jump.

"So sorry darlings! Lost all track," You knew what Roger was going to say as soon as Freddie made an appearance, and clearly Brian did too as you both made your way towards the short-tempered drummer.

"You fired Reed without consulting us! You don't make decisions for the band!" Roger hissed, glaring as Brian placed a hand on his chest.

"Hey, "The guitarist murmured in hopes of calming Roger down. Freddie sashayed in ostentatiously, leaving Paul to linger in the doorway.

"Well, I'm terribly sorry, dear. It's done. Besides," Freddie wandered over to Miami's makeshift desk, placing his cigarette into the ashtray "Miami will manage us, won't you darling?" Miami glanced up at the singer, releasing a nervous chuckle.

"I'll, uh, I'll think about it," Miami muttered, looking back at the paperwork before him.

"Are you high again?"Brian placed both his hand on his hips, while you three cornered Freddie.

"Well done, Columbo," Freddie responded, his sunglasses he hadn't bothered to take off shining against the lights and straight into your eyes.

"You need to slow down, Fred, "Brian stated, concern and annoyance lingering in his voice.

"Oh, don't be such a bore, I'm here aren't I?" Freddie snapped, taking a swig from the beer clutched in his hand

"Are you?" You countered, taking a step forward. Freddie's face swung to you at your harsh remark, a look of surprise taking over his features. You never spoke back to him. Never. Just as you opened your mouth to say something you'd probably regret, Deaky stepped in, shoving a lyric sheet to Freddie's chest, before handing one to you, Roger and Brian.

"I don't care if you're shitfaced. As long as you can sing," He asserted, moving to sit on the drum risers. A few weeks prior, when you were particularly upset about Freddie's change in demeanour, and Deaky had come to comfort you, he confessed his anger, annoyance and sorrow with Freddie and Paul.

"No, John, I don't want to play this," You complained, spinning on your heel to face the bassist.

"Then I'm all for it," Freddie returned sharply, glancing down at the sheet of paper. You furrowed your eyebrows at the harsh comment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roger interjected, shooting a glare at Freddie.

"I'm tired of the bloody anthems. I want the energy in the clubs, the bodies. I want to me=ake people move," He explained with an overexaggerated sigh.

"You mean disco?" Brian's response sounded more like an accusation than a question, his eyebrows practically raised into his hairline.

"Why not?" Paul chimed and your head whisked around.

"Would you mind pissing off? This is a band discussion," You growled just before Roger took a step closer to Freddie.

"Drum loops? Synthesizers? It's not us!" Roger narrowed his eyes, hands shaking in rage.

"Us?" Freddie's voice raised slightly.

"It's not Queen!" You agreed, but before you could input another word...

"Queen is whatever I say it is!" Freddie bellowed angrily. Your eyes shot to your friend before you marched up to him, your noses nearly touching.

"Well you can sing on your own then," You snarled and in response, Freddie pressed the paper to your face before shoving you backwards. Brian and Roger instantly reached out to steady you. But before either man could speak you shot up to Freddie.

"Alright! Let's see how good of a boxer you really are!"You exclaimed. Brian dashed over, placing a hand on both of your chests.

"(Y/N)! Take it easy!"He snapped and pushed Freddie back as he attempted to get closer "Alright, Mohammed Ali."

Just as you were about to storm out, the tense air was broken by a quiet bassline. You glanced over to Deaky, whose fingers were darting over the fretboard.

"That's- That's quite a cool riff actually," Brian stated, retracting his hands to his sides.

"You wrote that?"Freddie received no response except a stern glare from Deaky "That's really good."

Deaky let out a sigh, fingers pausing their dance on the bass. His eyes were showing clear frustration as they met yours

"Yes, it will be. If you all could just shut up and play," Deaky's face contorted in vexation.

"She started it-" Freddie began

"Oh shut up," Brian huffed, stepping over to his guitar. You kept your eyes down, worried that if you looked up you would burst into furious tears. The bassist carefully began playing the riff again and Freddie wandered over to you, gently placing his beer in your hand and patting it. That was the last time you considered Freddie your friend.

"Two solo albums?" You questioned in disbelief, your eyes wide in surprise. When Freddie had invited you to his house alone, without Paul for once, you were expecting an apology for his behaviour. Or a movie night. But you never expected that.

"It's fantastic isn't it, darling?"Freddie grinned with pride, bouncing on his heels as he placed your mug of tea onto the coffee table in front of you.

"I-yeah, that's incredible, Fred. But what about Queen?" You enquired, taking the drink from its place on the coffee table. He froze, looking nervous all of a sudden as he took a seat beside you.

"Queen may... may need to take a break from the throne for a while. It'll carry on but I think we all need a break, what with the fighting and all," Freddie reasoned.

"Every band has fights, Freddie. But you know what tends to happen when one of the band members goes off to do a solo career. I don't want everything we've worked for to die just like that," You clicked your fingers, and you saw Freddie's face twist into a look of exasperation.

"You're my best friend. Shouldn't you be supporting me?" His voice suddenly turned cold and he looked away.

"I am supporting you, Freddie. Yet I know how much you care for the band. When were you planning on telling the others?" Every word seemed to be pushing some buttons, though it wasn't your intention and you could see Freddie begin to twitch slightly.

"After we film the 'I Want To Break Free' music video. That's when I was going to tell you but I thought you should know sooner," He answered, taking a sip of his own tea.

"Freddie maybe you should tell them a little sooner. We don't film for another three weeks. We don't even know what we're doing for the video yet," You attempted but Freddie narrowed his eyes.

"It's my news to tell. I decide when I tell them. Paul was right," he murmured the last section, hoping you wouldn't hear it. You did.

"What do you mean, Paul was right?" Your voice had gotten lower. You knew exactly what he was talking about. You heard the lies Paul fed your friend.

"He was right. You won't support me in anything I do." He snapped. Without another seconds hesitation, you stood up, slamming your mug back onto the coffee table.

"If you are seriously going to believe someone who you know does wrong over someone you've known for years, then I'm out. I don't even know who you are anymore. You aren't the man I met back in university," You hissed, picking your bag up from the floor and heading towards that door.

"You walk out that door, you are out of Queen and out of my life!" Freddie called from behind you as your fingers latched onto the door handle. You stopped and turned to look over your shoulder before opening the door and stepping out.

"Goodbye, Freddie," You said solemnly. When you were halfway down the street, you heard Freddie yelling once more, footsteps running along the pavement

"You've lost us. Brian, Roger and Deaky won't talk to you. You've lost Queen. " He remarked, running up behind you. You sighed before turning around. He looked spooked by how calm you were "Why aren't you crying?"

"You're not worth crying over. Not anymore. You're secret is safe with me. Good luck," You placed a kiss to his cheek before heading off, Freddie watching you intently. He was scared. He didn't expect you to actually walk out of his life.

The phone could barely be heard over the screaming toddler balanced on your waist. You shushed your son, Elijah, handing him his favourite toy, which he instantly swapped for mouthing at the necklace that lay on your chest. The phone rung again but for a much longer duration, echoing through your ears. You weaved your way through a mountain of kids toys. When you eventually trekked your way to the phone, Elijah had nearly fallen asleep, lulled by the gentle jolting of your footsteps. A sigh escaped your lips as you opened the door, eyes not yet open as you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear before unhooking your phone and bringing it to your ear.

"Hello, this is the (L/N) household," you iterated, adjusting your son on your hip.

"Hey, (Y/N), it's Brian," Brian greeted quietly. You smiled slightly at the familiarly soft voice.

"Hello, Brian, what can I do for you?" You responded tenderly, dusting a piece of wavy blonde hair from Elijah's half-closed eyes.

"Is this a good time? I know it's close to Elijah's bedtime," You always admired Brian's caring nature.

"Depends how long you take on this call," You teased lightly, hearing a chuckle from the other side.

"I won't take too long, I promise. So,  you've had a call from Miami about Live Aid, right?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, course I did. We couldn't do it because we never got a reply from Freddie. I wouldn't be coming anyway," You replied, placing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you carefully pulled your necklace from Elijah's mouth as he snoozed.

"Well, completely unrelated, Miami wants to know if you could come to his office tomorrow? Miami says he couldn't get hold of you. And Chrissie offered to watch Elijah if you can't find anyone to take care of him," Brian explained. You let out a breath, knowing where this is going.

"I've got something going on tomorrow, I won't be able to make it. I'm sorry Bri," You sighed, closing your eyes.

"Oh, no, of course, I get it. Nevermind. I'll talk to you soon, hun. Roger and Deaks send their love to you and Elijah. Goodnight, (Y/N)." Brian said his goodbye's cheerfully but you could hear the disappointed undertone.

"Goodnight Bri, see you soon." You placed the phone back on the hook. You couldn't help but feel guilty. But you didn't want anything to do with Queen if Freddie hadn't changed since you last saw him. With a regretful exhale, you made your way through the house towards Elijah's room.

Elijah let out a loud laugh as you wrapped your arms around him, trapping him to your chest as you dug your fingers into his sides, pulling off his shoes to prod at his feet. Suddenly, the joyous moment was sliced as the doorbell sounded, bouncing off the walls. You let go of the three-year-old, turning on the tv to entertain him while you went to answer the door. Whoever was stood behind the wood was clearly eager to see you, as the bell chimed every few steps. Pulling your hair up into a messy bun, you pulled the door open. Your eyebrows raised in bewilderment at the man stood in your doorway.

"Oh... hello Freddie," You addressed awkwardly, fiddling with a bracelet your son made at nursery.

"Hi, dear. Could I...could I come in? I really need to talk to you," He admitted sheepishly, you shook your head.

"Now isn't a good time, Fred, "Your eyes shot to the ground. The air around you felt strained and it felt like you could barely breathe. That was until tiny footsteps pattered down the corridor behind you.

"Momma!"Elijah called behind you and you saw Freddie freeze. You put on a smile and turned to collect the toddler into your arms.

"What's wrong bubba?" You asked quietly, tapping his nose gently.

"I bored. Who's that?" He pointed at Freddie who was still rigid in place.

"Freddie, this is my son, Elijah. Eli, this is your godfather, Freddie. He's the man in all the songs you listen to," You didn't take your eyes away from your son, too anxious to look at the man stood before you. Elijah's face lit up, grinning widely.

"(Y/N), five minutes, that's all," Freddie muttered nervously. You let out a long breath, contemplating your options, before coming to a conclusion.

"Okay, okay, c'mon in," You opened the door open, stepping back as Freddie walked in, gently closing the door behind him. Gently, you set Elijah down, and he bolted off, latching to Freddie's leg as soon as he took a seat.

"Elijah, darling, go play in your room for a few minutes. Momma will come to get you later," You ordered softly, gently pulling Eli off of Freddie and giving him a light push towards his room.

"Okay, momma. Bye-bye Mr. Freddie," Eli then ran off, his cuddly elephant dragging behind him. You sat across from Freddie, tapping your foot anxiously.

"(Y/N)...I-I know I've been horrid. I let Paul cloud my vision and I lost you as a result. Words cannot describe how sorry I am and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I will beg for it because I have been adrift without you. I don't think I've realized how much I relied on you until I lost you. And I need to ask you this: please come perform at Live Aid with the guys and me. Do it for them. Please. I know you have your hands full with...Elijah but... they need this. I need this. You never have to talk to me again afterwards if you don't want to. Just do this for them," Halfway through the speech you felt tears springing to your eyes, but you wiped them away as soon as they made an appearance.

"Freddie...you... hurt me. Abandoned me. For Paul fucking Prenter. You cut me from your life and then acted like it was my fault. But, as much as I hate to admit it, I forgive you. I'm absolutely fucking furious that you pulled that shit but we have to be there for each other. We're best friends after all," You answered, looking up from your shoes. There was a small hopeful smile on Freddie's face. Hesitantly, you stood up, and wrapped your arms around Freddie, bringing him into a tight hug. "I'll come to Live Aid, just don't do anything like that ever again. I don't want to lose you again."

"That's fantastic, darling. But, you have a kid:?" Freddie asked, pulling back after a minute.

"Uh, yeah. Had a relationship with a guy and the condom broke, and then came Elijah. He's a doll," You looked over in the direction of Eli's room, smiling brightly.

"Will I ever get to meet the lucky father?" Freddie pushed further, a light teasing tone. But your smile dropped.

"Fortunately no. When I told him I was pregnant, he was out immediately. Packed up his shit and left. That's when I realized how much of a prick he was," You answered. Freddie's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Tell me his name dear. I can find that bastard. I'm sure the fan club would find him quite quickly," He replied and you let out a loud laugh.

"It was three years ago, I'm over it." A smile came back to his face at your remark.

"This is off topic but, you're free to, um, come back to Queen after Live Aid, if you wanted, "Freddie suggested

"I would love to."

Tags:  @writingfortoomanyfandoms @metaphorical-love-for-a-car @queens-n-roses @freaky-dcaky @yourealegendfred@fierce-bab @dusthas-beenbitten   @bensroger @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @babebenhardy @benhardyjones @silvver-rose  

[nobodyfamousposts]

I stopped watching MLB after Chameleon. But it wasn't soon enough. Now I can't anymore enjoy fandom's best fics of old like Kryalla's Tendencies series because of canon Adrien "doormat" "Nice Guy" Agreste! Aaaaaah! Any recommendations on what to do? How do *you* deal with that???? Are my old faves lost to me for eternity now? *bawls eyes out*

First off, I want to make it clear that you’re not alone in your feelings. It can be hard to reconcile THAT Adrien to the Adrien we’re seeing in a lot of fandom works when the latter variations are honestly done better. Enjoyment of the fanworks of this series is not lost to you forever, so don’t worry. It’s just that right now there are other matters about the series that are simply more frustrating for the time being. And it can be hard to see past that to fully enjoy those works the way you had before. That doesn’t change how good the works are, just their ability to reach you the way they had before past that.

I try to bear in mind that even if there is an issue regarding the canon work, that doesn’t make the characters or concept themselves unsalvageable. It’s why I write fanfiction, even about a series I dislike or have a problem with.

For all the negative attention and criticism they may have gotten, this is part of the reason why spite fics exist. It’s also the reason why these spite fics, salt posts, salt art, and other works are so cathartic. Even as over the top or extreme in response as some of these works may be, they are a form of venting, releasing that frustration, and addressing issues. It’s actually healthy, both for the creator getting those feelings out and for others who have been feeling similarly but may not have necessarily had the words or the space to say so previously.

But the funny thing is that for as “negative” as some people have complained this is being, these also help me appreciate the works that treat the characters right. KryallaOrchid has done a wonderful job of portraying Adrien and Marinette, as have many others. Zoe’s Scarlet Lady AU, any of Punchlord’s works, Otoshigo’s comedic works show the characters well and help to remind me that just because the show is going a direction I don’t like, there are still good things that can come from it even if not the canon directly.

If you want my advice on what to do: If this negativity and frustration is blocking you from being able to enjoy something you used to and it’s something you want to enjoy again, then it might help to get those feelings out—write it, draw it, make something that either addresses why it was so frustrating or alternatively shows how it could be something you can be appeased with.

It can be a short story or a vent post. A “what if” or “how it should have ended”. Either showing realistic consequences or simply having a character say all the things you want to say yourself. Anything that helps to get the feelings out of your head and onto some other medium where you can revisit them at your leisure instead of having them overtake any attempts to enjoy other aspects of the series you still like.

It won’t fix the series, but it can make it easier for you.

[subasekabang]

Long Dream –Live Remix– (A Side)

Title: Long Dream –Live Remix– (A Side)

Rating: T

Word Count: 7598 total, 3758 this chapter

Characters: Coco, Joshua, Neku, Beat, OMC, OFC

Warnings: Major character death

Summary: Her Magnum Opus nears completion, and as her audience approaches, she hurriedly arranges one final rehearsal.  Elaboration on a pet theory of mine, built out of Final Remix spoilers.

Every day streets are crowded with people

Every night streets are jammed with these noises

Things are so strange, are they real or a dream?

Where am I now, trapped in this city of illusion?

***

Neku surveyed his surroundings.  It didn’t take him long to recognize them.

“This is Cat Street…”

“Yo, finally!” Beat said, running a few steps ahead.  “We can get outta Shibuya from here!  I’m so ready to be done with this crappy Game!”

Neku looked up the street, murmuring, “Unless the way ahead has been rearranged too…”

He tensed a bit as Coco stepped up behind him, the tiny Reaper saying, “No worries fam!  See, the way ahead looks, like, totez clear!  That super tough wall you guys just made it past must’ve been the last challenge!”

Neku’s eyes caught on the café just ahead.  Even in this situation, it still sparked a very complicated emotion in his heart.

“Yo, whatchu waitin’ for,” Beat said, “an engaged invitation?  Le’s go, man!”

Beat took off.  Neku followed at a slower pace, saying, “Hold on!  While we’re here, shouldn’t we ask Mr. H what’s going on?”

The other boy skidded to a halt.  “Huh?  You think the H-Man’s gonna tell us anything?”

“He might.  We have time to spare—it can’t hurt to ask.”

Coco made a face as she walked up next to him.  “Uuuuh, source?  That guy, like, oozes bad vibes.  You should totez just finish the Game!  That’s all that matters, yeah?”

Neku shook his head.  “I still want to know what’s going on.  Out of the people who might actually know, Mr. H is the only one with an address.  We might not get another chance.”

The Reaper rolled her eyes and shrugged.  “I mean, I guess, but like, why risk it?  The finish line is literally right in front of y’all—just cross it and end the Game.  Then if you still wanna talk to Coffee Weirdo, just walk right back in and do it then!  It’ll totez be less stressful once we’re off the clock!”

Beat nodded.  “Yeah, man!  We gotta get this over with either way.  Plus we might get an explanation jus’ for winnin’!  We’ll keep the H-Man as a back-up plan, aight?”

Neku crossed his arms.  “I still feel like this would be less risky.”

“Aw c’mon!” Coco said, skipping down the sidewalk.  “You srsly need to chill, Neku!  Let’s just finish the Game already.  Besidez…while we stand here chatting, the other Players are still fighting Noise and stuff.  Like, uh, Shiki?  Do it for her!”

“Right: Shiki and Rhyme is still out there, Phones!” Beat said.  “We gotta end the Game now!”

With a sigh, Neku grumbled, “…Alright, I guess we shouldn’t keep them waiting.  But soon as we’re done, I’m coming back to get answers.”

The three of them ran down Cat Street, with Coco trailing farther and farther behind.  Eventually she came to a stop, and just watched the boys continue with a wide grin on her face.

“Ugh, finally,” she said to herself.  “This pair was WAY more stubborn than the last, 7.8/10 too much effort.”

Neku noticed they had lost her just as he and Beat ran over the city limits.  The next thing he noticed was pain.  Intense, searing pain, like his entire body was on fire.  Judging by the way Beat had toppled over on the ground, the same thing was happening to him.  Neku fell to his knees as the agony worsened.

“What’s…happening…?!”

Coco slowly approached them, taking care to not actually cross the limits.  “This is fine!  All according to keikaku.  Congratz on winning the Reaper’s Game: Expert Mode!  Oh btw, keikaku means plan.”

Beat cried out suddenly.  Black and red flames consumed him, burning brightly for a few seconds before vanishing, leaving not even ashes in their wake.  Neku’s eyes widened in horror.

“What did you do to him?!” Neku demanded.

“Erased him, duh,” Coco said.  “Though technically wasn’t me, actually my baby that did it.”

“What?!”

“He needs loads of food to grow up big and strong.  I’ve tried, like, a gazillion different things, and the Soul of super tough Players like you two is what works the best by far!  ty so much!”

The pain only grew.  Neku screamed, doing all he could to endure it despite knowing he was failing.

Coco put a hand to her ear.  “Mmmm whatcha say?  Couldn’t make that out.”

It wasn’t long before the flames consumed Neku as well, and then he too was gone.  Coco put her hands on her hips and smiled.  The world around her shifted, wavering like a mirage until it all melted into one swirling void of bluish clouds.  Before her spawned a massive creature: a tapir with purple skin and six tusks, yellow tattoo-like protrusions in the shape of flames erupting all across its form.  Its red eyes focused squarely on Coco.

“Yay!  Look at you, you absolute unit!  You’re, like, so strong now you could body anyone!”

Coco threw herself onto the tapir’s trunk, hugging it tightly—the creature gave a guttural rumble in response.  She could sense its power increasing, and giggled happily as she took a step back.  The tapir lowered its head and nudged her gently.

“Okay, okay.”

Reaching up, she scratched the tapir’s trunk.  It tilted its head and squeaked.

“Aw, who’s a good boy?”

Coco hopped up to the top of its head, lying down so she could reach far enough to scratch behind its ear.  The tapir lifted its trunk and trumpeted happily, then floated up and down in place, jostling Coco only the smallest amount.

“Haha, very good, such cute, wow!”

Soon it settled down.  Coco propped up her head with one hand, continuing to slowly pet the tapir with the other, and let out a long sigh.

“Tapez my dude, I’m, like, so glad I have you.  ngl you’re kinda my bff.”

The tapir grunted, swinging its trunk slightly.  Coco swayed along.

“I dunno when it’s going down…but I’mma make sure you get through it.  You’re one of my peeps too now!  So it’s a legit promise!”

Coco extended her pinky.  The tapir inclined its head a little and flexed its claws.

“Oooooh right.  Well, still totez binding lol.”

She pressed her face against the tapir’s skin, letting her eyes close.

“Aaaaaah, we’re almost there, Tapez.  Should just need, like, another few rounds and you’ll be a prime example of the ideal Noise body!  Though tbh if the next pair is as annoying as this one, totez just gonna yeet them straight into your stomach.”

Her phone chimed.  She opened one eye to look at the screen, and then rolled onto her back and groaned loudly, kicking her legs about in frustration.

“Uuuugh for real?  Fine, whatevs.”  She paused to pet the tapir one more time.  “Sorry Tapez, I gotta bounce.  brb and then we’ll go find you some more treats!”

The tapir squeaked a farewell, and then Coco stood up and shut her eyes again.  Focusing her power, she elevated her Vibe and reached out with her mind to feel for the world she wanted to travel to; after so many times, it was easy for her, and in mere seconds she had concrete beneath her feet.  Opening her eyes, Coco looked up at the skyline of Shinjuku and smiled brightly.

I love my city tbh.

***

Feel the people, hear the voices

They are reaching out to catch you

Feel the rhythms, hear the noises

You are beating all the visions

***

Coco moved through the city at a slow pace.  Shinjuku was a travel hub, a place that was purely transient for most: each moment was fleeting, but each brought something new, something different, and that everlasting tumultuous tide of life fascinated Coco in a way nothing ever had before.  Each second was something wholly unique, and she never wanted to miss even one of them.  She spun around on a corner, taking it all in, and just laughed to herself.

“Having fun, Atarashi?”

Her good mood was spoiled instantly.  She grimaced over her shoulder to see Joshua standing there, looking every bit as smug as she remembered him.

“fml what are you even doing here Kiryu?” she asked, turning around and crossing her arms in a huff.  “Can’t you, like, take a hint?”

“Nice to see you too.”  He raised a hand to his chin.  “Hm.  I’m curious: why is it you hold onto your wings even in the RG?”

Gesturing to them, Coco said, “Aesthetic.”

“…And what aesthetic would that be, exactly?”

“fyi I’m headed to a super important meeting rn so unless you’re finally ready to fite me irl then I, like, don’t even want to hear it.”

Joshua chuckled and brushed aside a lock of hair, which only made him seem even more smug and made Coco even angrier.  “Stimulating as that has the potential to be, we’d both be in quite a bit of trouble with the folks upstairs if we were to have a skirmish.”

“Oooooh good point,” she said as she turned away.  “And I bet you’re, like, already in hot water after the way you went off.”

“Nothing to worry about on that front.  I’ve spoken with my Producer and he assures me the matter has been put to bed.  Things in Shibuya will be staying the way they are.”

Coco spun around.  “WTF?!  You two are out of trouble just like that?  I literally have no words!”

“Hm?  Why, I would assume your Producer has been apprised of the details as well.  Has he not passed them along to you yet?”

There was a short delay, and then Coco glanced aside and grumbled, “That must be why he sent me that txt…”

“I take it you’ve been too busy with your side project to stay on top of the paperwork.”

Coco locked eyes with Joshua.  He was still smug, that would never change, but now there was a deadly undercurrent to his words that demanded Coco’s attention.

“tf are you even talking about?” Coco asked.  “You really need to stay in your lane, Kiryu.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Explain.”

“Well for starters, I know you’ve been poking around my city.”

“omg!  Tourism is a crime now?”

“Considering our circumstances I believe it falls more under ‘corporate espionage’.”

“It’s totez hilair to me that you consider the UG a corporation.”

“Setting that aside for the moment, there’s also the fact that you’ve been shirking your duties as Composer to jaunt off to an alarming number of parallel worlds as of late.”

Coco smirked.  “Aw, u just jelly I can travel between worlds without needing to call an Uber to get back.”

Joshua shrugged.  “I admit, it’s a skill I’ve yet to master—even my alternate selves seem to have difficulty with it.  One came to call on me recently, you know.  Said something about a bizarre Noise erasing two former Players in his world.”

Yawning loudly, Coco said, “Kiryu can I, like, get a tl;dr?”

Joshua’s face began to darken, the undercurrent gradually rising towards the surface.  “Well Atarashi, it certainly sounds like you’ve been attacking alternate Shibuyas.  If so, that’s something I believe qualifies as ‘in my lane’.  Wouldn’t you agree?”

Coco cackled.  “Pffft omg are u srs?  I am DECEASED y’all, the guy who just tried to wipe his whole city is acting protective up in this bitch!  lmaoooooo!”

Joshua stared hard at her.  “Coco, do think for a moment: how do you suppose the Higher Plane would react to this news?”

“What, are you, like, planning to tell them?  If you’ve got some proof then hmu.”

Joshua didn’t answer.

“lol that’s what I thought, smdh you better sit down Kiryu.  Even if I were, like, messing with parallel worlds or whatevs, why would the Higher Plane even care?  Angels from this world have no jurisdiction there.  It’s free real estate.”

Slowly, Joshua nodded.  “…Alright.  Perhaps you have a point.  Let’s leave the Higher Plane out of this hypothetical.  The only one you need to be concerned with…is me.”

The air suddenly felt very heavy.  Coco actually needed to remind herself to breathe, but she made sure her reaction wasn’t obvious.

“So, Atarashi.  Explain to me why you’ve been killing Neku in so many parallel worlds.  And, do try your best to make it a very good explanation.”

Coco brought her hands up to her face, twisting slightly away.  “lololol I’m confused.  Mad cuz I beat your record?  Or want to make sure I don’t off this world’s copy of Edge Head before you can tell him he’s worthy of your grace?  Honestly?  I ship it.”

Joshua paused.  “Neku himself isn’t the issue here.  But if you’re making a move into my territory—“

“Yeah yeah yeah, cuz you care, like, SO much about your territory!  I am SHOOK seeing you come in here acting like the authority on protecting your peeps!  I could learn so much about my job from watching you!”

“I’m feeling a bit of déjà vu.  I could have sworn I’ve already told you that a Composer’s job is simply to judge their people, and that it is only the existence and boundaries of their respective UG that require protection.”

Coco covered her mouth.  “omg!  Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?”  She dropped her hands and stuck out her tongue.  “jk obv you’re full of it.”

“I don’t see why I should need to divulge my motivations to you of all people,” Joshua mumbled, “but if you must know…I was under the impression that Shibuya was not worth keeping around.  Now that I’ve seen it still holds potential, I of course have every intention of preserving the seeds that I’ve sown.”

Coco scowled at him, but didn’t speak at first.  Nearly a minute passed before she said, “Then tbh?   I’m not your enemy.”

Joshua’s eyebrows went up.

“It’s, like, only a matter of time before a new kind of Game starts up Kiryu.  Their Game.  And I’m gonna be mad prepared when it does.  If you had literally a single brain cell you’d totez be doing the same thing.”

By the time she was done, Joshua’s eyes had narrowed down to a suspicious glare.  “Surely you’re not referring to the party I’m assuming?”

“Like, who else?”

Joshua stared down his nose at Coco as he considered his next move.  Coco grunted, drew out her phone, and checked her messages.

“My, you truly are impossible to figure out,” Joshua sighed.

Coco gave her best Clearly Fake Smile and replied, “Because you’re an expert at that lol.  I’m nothing compared to your galaxy brain.”

“I think I could do it if not for that absurd…shall we call it a dialect?”

“Uh, this is how people talk now?  Hello?  If you knew anything about people, then like, you’d already know that, but as always you have 0 friends so buh-bye.”

“…Hm.  And, exactly how many friends do you have, Atarashi?”

Coco frowned.

Joshua turned.  “But, alright.  If this is some plan to deal with the Inferno, then I’ll drop the matter for now.  But, one thing I’d like to make clear before I go.”  He took one last glance back at her, eyes full of ice.  “I will not tolerate any interference in this world’s Shibuya.”

He was off without another word.  Coco suppressed the urge to shudder, turning back to her phone and mumbling half-formed syllables as she made herself look busy.  She looked back up to be sure that he was gone, and then sighed and tucked her phone away, gazing over Shinjuku once more as she waited for the tension to leave her body.  It was immediately replaced by joy.

“omg whoops.  Rōjin is totez still waiting orz.”

***

Is it angels?  Is it devils?

Whispering in my ears

Is it emotions?  Is it illusions?

I need to be with you

***

Coco poked her head through the shrine’s gate.  Looking up the path, she could see a bald, tan-skinned man with a stoic face sitting at the building’s entrance, his eyes already locked onto her.  She flinched.

“Uuuuh what’s up gamers?” she blurted as she stumbled forward.  “I know I’m, like, totez late, but I have a tru legit reason for it, get a load of this!”

The man was Seiji Rōjin, owner of the shrine and also Shinjuku’s Producer.  He offered not a single word as Coco hurriedly explained her encounter with Joshua to him.  When she was done, he nodded and closed his eyes; Coco looked around awkwardly for a few seconds, and then took a seat next to him.

“You must leave your Opus be,” he ultimately said.

Coco started.  “Uh, excuse me?  Abandon all my hard work just because that nerd doesn’t want me near his bf?  I think the heck not!”

Rōjin opened his eyes to look at her.

“…Um?  Something else?”

“The Higher Plane demands a Game.”

Coco blinked.  Then she rolled back, digging her fingers into her scalp and shouting, “AAAAAAARGH, srsly?!  I know I haven’t held a Game in, like, forev, but can’t they just let me handle thingz down here?  Please say sike!”

Rōjin said nothing.  As she accepted the reality of the situation, Coco’s heart sank.

“But…Tapez…”  She groaned.  “…Is, like, a teeny bit of faith in me too much to ask?  They know I’ve got mad skillz!  When you taught me how to make Tapez, you said I was one of only, like, three Composers whomst’ve ever been able to control Magnum Opus Noise—they should be totez impressed with me already!”

“The Higher Plane demands more of your position than mere talent,” Rōjin said.  “It demands discipline.”

Coco pulled herself back into a sitting position.  “I am, like, sooo disciplined!  I legit wanted to tear Kiryu’s face off, but I didn’t!”  She got back on her feet as she went on, “Like, sure, this is about Shinjuku, but the whole reason I’m working on Tapez is so he can protect my peeps!  Making sure he’s bad enough to dunk on anyone is literally The Best Thing I can be doing rn!  The Inferno is out there, you know, somewhere, and we dunno when they’re gonna throw hands!  And now I have to take time out of my counterattack schedule to run some basic-ass Game?”

She whirled back to face Rōjin.  He didn’t say anything.  Coco stared at him for a few moments, realizing she was getting a headache.

“…heck.  We don’t really have much of a choice, do we?  If the Higher Plane wants a Game so bad, then like, we gotta pull together a Game.  Tapez will just have to chill for a week I guess.”

Coco put a hand to her head as she trudged past Rōjin for the door.

“Ugh, lemme see, the Conductor obvs needs to show, and we should probably @ all the Officers too.  idk who’s gonna be the GM this week but they—“

The pain in her head suddenly turned sharp.  She paused mid-step.

“…they…”

Her vision blurred, then went dark.  And then she saw Shinjuku again, but it was…different, somehow.  As if viewed through some sort of filter.  She saw the streets, the people, and then a glowing red symbol up in the sky—and then the streets were empty.  Not a single soul was left in Shinjuku.  No, not quite, next she saw one person: a girl who slowly walked forward with a blank look in her eyes.  The girl stared straight ahead, but couldn’t see Coco.  Still, she opened her mouth to speak.

“All that’s left in the world is me.”

Coco gasped as the shrine came back into focus.  At first she was too surprised to make any sense of the event.  But as she breathed, she processed it, and her eyes shot wide as pure dread came over her.

“Uh…a-ah…I…”

Rōjin stood, watching her with furrowed brow.  Coco’s entire body shook as she turned to face him.

“I…I saw it again…!”

She jumped forward and grabbed Rōjin’s shirt.

“It was the same vision!  You remember, right?  From, like, WAY back when I first asked you about Magnum Opus Noise?  I saw it again!  Shinjuku was erased—it was an Inversion!  I-I…”  She looked down as tears started to form in her eyes.  “I haven’t seen anything since that day…why now?  Is…is the Inferno about to attack Shinjuku?  Is that what this means?!  Are we out of time?!”

She felt a hand on her head.  Looking up, she saw Rōjin staring back at her, his face as calm and stoic as ever.  Coco swallowed hard, and then exhaled slowly.

“R-Right…right.”  She managed a chuckle.  “Like, look at me, crying in the club like a little bitch!  Thanks bunchez, Rōjin.”

She stepped away and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.  Coco found herself looking up at the sky, as if to verify what she had seen hadn’t actually come true…at least, not yet.  The same skyline greeted her.  But this time, she just couldn’t feel happy about it.  This time, it made her feel resolute.  She turned back to Rōjin.

“Sorry fam.  But I, like, can’t just sit on my ass and play a Game rn.  The Higher Plane might not be convinced, but I just know the Inferno’s on their way to end my whole career, and I’m not about to take that.”

Rōjin paused.  Then, with a single nod, he said, “Mood.”

Coco giggled.  “omg, you’re, like, literally the worst!”

She left the shrine and made her way back up the street, thinking, Dunno how much more time I have to beef up Tapez.  My boi’s totez strong, but I can’t be too careful, and probs don’t have much time for last minute boosts.  I need to, like, think of how else I can improve his chances…

Her feet slowed, and she looked back at the shrine.

…Hm.  I wonder what she would think?

Coco crossed her arms.

I mean, she’s gonna be totez disappointed there’s no Game.  But like, she’s still my Conductor, yeah?  If I can’t trust her to back me up, then who can I trust?

She turned and got moving again.

At the v least I gotta ask.  Whatever it takes…my Shinjuku is going to survive.

***

Every day noises are killing these people

Every night noises are waiting for me but

Don’t run away, we’ve got no time left to fear

Where are you now, still it’s showing me illusions

[maxskulline]

Guzma sluggishly rubs his eyes as she hands him his every morning pick-me-up in the form of a Tapu Cocoa. Leaning down, he pushes away her bangs with his free hand, presses a kiss to her forehead before stepping away. "Thanks, baby girl."

Because this is the first time she’s seen him in over a month, she wanted his Tapu Cocoa to taste especially nice. What better way is there to celebrate the success of Team Skull’s latest mission, the sole reason why Max spent six weeks on her home island, that she had given her all for? In the early hours of Po Town, the girl snuck out from the Poké Center. It’s a most preferred time for those who like to get things done in the kitchen. Most Grunts sleep scattered around the ground like little dead bugs, many of them snoring loud enough to wake a Snorlax. The faint drizzle falls silent on grey concrete as her white trainers dance and twist around puddles from last night’s rain. How oddly peaceful this town can appear when you’re up early enough to witness it. 

She pushes her hair back on the way, ties it into the loose trademark ponytail she loves to wear. It’s not like she doesn’t care about her appearance, especially today, especially around him. This simply is easy, comfortable, and hair… gods, Max can’t deal with hair, not this early in the morning. Braiding, curling, pinning, you name it, she’s tried it all and she had failed painfully. Others help when she needs a touch of colour or a trim. Sometimes they insist on styling her up, and she’s a sucker for it because it’s the only time her hair actually looks like something. Today, this’ll have to do. A lazy, messy bun. Pair it with the constellations of freckles Alola has painted on Maxy’s sun kissed skin and the loose shirt she’s fastened between waist-high shorts, Max thinks she looks cute enough for an early morning rendezvous with Team Skull’s one and only. 

Because of Guzma’s love for Maxy’s Tapu Cocoa, she doesn’t need to bother memorizing the daily code. He’s given special instructions to let her use the kitchen whenever and however often he needs Max to. Make that, at the very least, six times a day, sometimes more, depending on his agitation meter or rising craving for a sugary fix. But Max doesn’t mind the lack of hassle in the slightest. Grunts like to fuck with each other by hiding away the password just for the fun of it, forgetting where they had put it in the first place and blocking the kitchen until Plumeria drops a new code. Waltzing into the kitchen whenever she pleases - even without the Boss’s demand for chocolaty goodness - is one of the “Guzma’s girl” privilegues she consciously takes every bit of advantage of.  

Speaking of being Guzma’s girl - can those fuckin’ flutters die down already? This’s been going on since Max had crawled out of bed! Drugged by an endorphin-infused cocktail of anticipation, longing and anxiety, it’s hard to tell whether she wants to throw up, dance, sing, cry, or do all of it at once. Feeling like a prisoner to this terrifying clusterfuck of emotions, even her fingers shake as she preps his favourite - can she get any fuckin’ cheesier? - cup with four heaped spoons of Cocoa powder. Needless to say she’s missed this guy, perhaps more than she’ll ever admit out loud. It’s been weeks since they’ve last seen each other, and while daily texts and calls kept them connected….. lots of things can change in six weeks, right? What if he’s got someone else? What if being away from Max made him realize he ain’t a guy to date in a more-or-less serious manner? Their, uh, relationship… it’s somewhat of an experiment for the both of ‘em, and with any experiment whatsoever, everything could go either right or horribly wrong. 

Max makes herself jump when she shuts the fridge door a little too hard and the entire thing threatens to collapse. “Shh, fuck! Sorry, I’m kinda tense today. Don’t fall apart on me now, yeah?” Maybe talking to a fridge will help with the nerves. Stirring Guzma’s almond milk into the cup until the cocoa turns creamy, somehow Max can’t shut up now and brands the inanimate object her new therapist for the day. Hey, they’re better listeners than people and they don’t tell you what you don’t wanna hear. Ever. Because objects can’t fucking talk unless their name is Dosh’Te. 

“It’s just - I don’t know what to expect, because he’s - he is….. well, he’s Guzma! And I’m me. But I really fucking missed him, while I was away. I miss him right now, and I’ll miss him until I see him. But, what if he didn’t miss me? What if he’s been fine all the time I’ve been gone, fucking others, too busy to care if I’m here or not? Fuck, I’m really overthinking it right now. See!? This isn’t my turf! I hate this whole ‘feelings’ bullshit and acting like a dumb teenage girl with a crush on someone way out of her league. Aaaaaah!”

A hard kick to the counter drowns her frustrated groan and she somehow ends up apologizing for abusing the poor counter as well. On its surface sat a perfectly ready Tapu Cocoa, steaming and waiting to be brought into Guzma’s room. Max knows she’s stalling and wishes someone would kill her right now, but being a chicken isn’t like her either so she grabs the mug and bites down on the absolute stupidity she’s feeling. At the very least the trip to Guzma’s room is routine, and it help with the nerves.

Make it up the left side of the stairs, tell the guarding Grunt to stick it elsewhere because The Boss needs his Tapu Cocoa, climbing through the window and balancing across the increasingly deteriorating rooftop. Instead of dwelling on her anxiety any longer Max heads straight for the bedroom door.

Five gentle knocks indicate him it’s Max. It’s a special code given only to her and Plumeria, perhaps the sole two people in Po Town who don’t need to wait for Guzma’s permission to enter. She holds her breath when she slides into his dimmed bedroom. Clutching to the cup, somehow all tension falls away when her eyes meet a pair of grey diamonds that are so sleep-ridden he can barely see. Nudging the door shut with the heel of her foot, Max can’t even begin to hide the steadily growing smile that’s taking hold of her entire being. Her cheeks light up with a dust of pink because seeing him act so disorientated might as well be the cutest fucking thing she’s ever seen. Her smile seems to reach him, too, because he’s countering with that cheeky, sleepy grin that always makes her feel so lightheaded. 

“Morning, Boss. Sorry for barging in so early, it’s just…..” It’s just that I really missed you, and would rather kill myself than having to wait for another second to see you. Max catches herself mid-thought and clears her throat awkwardly, pushing the cup forwards for Guzma to grab. “It’s just that I know you haven’t had a proper Tapu Cocoa since I left and that sorta broke my heart, y’know!” Guzma’s practically nude when he gets up, dressed only in a pair of boxers. Sucks for Max’s stupid little heart, because it’s accelerating until she can’t breathe, making her tremble when his fingertips brush against her own as he claims his drink. Engulfed in his heat and inhaling the musky scent of sleep clinging to him, there’s nothing Max wants more than to run her hands across Guzma’s tanned skin and feel its soft warmth. Just then, she senses him leaning into her space to brush away a bunch of stray locks and kiss the freckles on her forehead. 

The gesture itself is so rare in its occurrence that she finds herself stretching into the kiss, if only to make this moment linger. A muffled squeak slips past her lips and Guzma chuckles in response. Was this asshole trying to make her faint or something!? 

               “Thanks, baby girl.”

Wow. This is what it feels like to be disarmed within seconds. Surely she resembles a lovesick Lillipup more than anything when her shoulders drop in defeat, following the man to his bed and dropping down next to him. Any worry she’s ever had dissolves in the fuzzy happiness Guzma’s gesture leaves behind, urging Max to climb into the space behind him and wrap her arms around his warm body. 

“Feels good to be home, G.” 

[writer-and-artist27]

Soup for the Sick

Note: …At this rate, this is already a series. One Piece and Naruto mixed. Never thought I would be getting into it. But @unlucky-marine’s art is something that always brings a smile to my face, and considering @langwrites writing the My Hero Academia-CYB crossover of Shell Game, well…

Yeah, I have no excuse. CP and S&S are still going on, but these little side stories starring the civilian pianist with her older Marine sibling-caretaker are adorable and I like giving something back to Eli. :) So there. Eli got me on the Tomo-Davy sibling train, and I can’t thank them enough for that. I’ve never had someone so outspoken in loving kid!Tomoko whenever I talked to them, so I think the appreciation goes miles now. ^_^

Of course, I don’t own anything except Tomoko and Hisako. Davy belongs to Eli, and Wendy to @ask-lieutenant-wendy.

The theme for this story is inspired by the sea, being SaphiraLynx’s piano cover of Mizuiro no Senritsu from Mermaid Melody. Or, as the translation calls it, the Aquamarine Melody, originally sung by the Aquamarine Mermaid Princess herself. :) The original song works just as well if you want to pull it up~

Please enjoy!

Oh, and Eli? You don’t have to feel pressured in making art for every part of this series, by the way. Only do it if you feel like it. I only write this whole thing because your art brought a lot of happy juice for me in these last days of summer and seeing you on Twitch and talking with you only helped fuel that. Friends look out for each other, and well, considering your theater job? A nice read is something you more than deserve. ;>

The words felt foreign in my mouth. “Jackie-nee’s sick?”

Wendy-nee gave me a sad smile as she sat down on her knees, a hand reaching over to rest on the top of my head. “She’s just resting in her barracks, Tomoko-chan. But yes, Jackie’s sick. It’s a cold, thankfully, so the bad sickness won’t be here forever.”

“How?” was already escaping my throat, and I found myself covering my mouth with both of my hands out of politeness and shock. My caretaker wasn’t the kind of person who found themselves sick so easily. At least, from what I could tell. When feeling more masculine as Jack-nii, he could easily kick someone’s ass if he wanted to, more so when I heard him mutter once on how he could break all 206 bones in a body. That was cool and kinda scary. When feeling feminine as Jackie-nee, she could then smash a womanizer’s face in with her heel and look beautiful doing it.

Being genderfluid was still something I didn’t know much about, more so considering I was a cis-female, but my caretaker was awesome. Simple as that.

I never thought I would hear the news that they would be sick.

But, alas, Tomoko-chan, my dear. Hisako swirled her glass of…lemonade. Okay. She was doing it while sitting in an armchair like Giovanni from Pokémon or something. All she needed was a Persian. And she was doing The Voice. Woo. We all are mere mortals.

Ugh.

I couldn’t help but find my heart sinking when Wendy-nee’s smile turned a bit more forced, as if frustrated. “I don’t think you want to know, Tomoko-chan. Let’s just say a Flamingo got a bit too angry and leave it at that, okay?” The minute crack in her voice was already enough for me to nod and accept it. I was still 10 in this life, so in Wendy-nee’s eyes, of course I was still a kid. An innocent kid, probably.

“Okay,” I said softly, but I still found myself gently tugging on her shirt collar to pull her in for a hug. It didn’t feel right going about this conversation without doing it. She looked troubled enough already, and my arms could wind around her neck, at least. “I’m sorry for prying, Wendy-nee.”

To my surprise, the blond Marine only laughed softly, arms coming around me to hug back. Aaaaah, she had a similar grip to Mama when she was excited. Tough muscle, but still snuggly. “It’s okay, Tomoko-chan, you were worried. It’s okay.”

I was not expecting her to lift me up anyways, essentially letting my sandals hit air as she pulled away from the hug to grin cheerily up at me. Somehow, I was sitting in her arms, close to her shoulders. Somehow! Aaaaaah, awesome strength. Also, Wendy-nee being 7 foot 2 and being carried that close to her height made everything in the near vicinity feel small, and gosh, being tall feels so cool! Fluttering skirt be damned.

…Don’t judge me on this. I’m still trying to gain height by drinking milk.

Wendy-nee’s purple eyes were now sparkling with something soft as she looked at me with that same grin. Her one curly hair sticking out from her hat tickled as she continued to beam. “Still, Tomoko-chan, what do you want to do now? Do you want to visit Jackie?”

The offer was tempting. Very tempting.

Hisako only swirled her cup of lemonade before chugging it in a few seconds flat. Once all the liquid was gone, she tossed the cup away, the motion accompanied by a small mental CRASH that was of the glass breaking in the mind library somewhere. Hm, she mused. It’s nice, but you’re thinking of something else, aren’t you, dear?

Yep. My Nobody was already reading my thoughts.

“Not now, Wendy-nee,” I shook my head while smiling anyways. “But could you carry me to the kitchen? I wanna cook something first!”

Those same purple eyes blinked at me slowly.

“Huh?”

“Here again, Tomoko-chan?”

The Marine chefs, despite bustling around with food and plates in almost every corner of the kitchen, all seemed to notice me as soon as Wendy-nee dropped me off in the doorway. She had work to do, unfortunately, but at least the big bear hug and bright smile in my direction before she left was a nice send-off.

Still, I was a 10-year old girl in a Sylveon-themed kimono dress, standing in the kitchen doorway, and at this point, the Marines weren’t even fazed. Huh.

Adjustment period is officially over, Hisako mused dryly.

I nodded at the nearest chef who asked with the politest smile I could muster. “Yep! Jackie-nee’s not feeling well, so I thought of cooking!” And then the Embarrassment was coming back in. Why, heart, why. “I-Is that okay?”

Said chef only shrugged with an exasperated smile before pointing to a nearby corner. Almost immediately, some of the chefs cleared away, leaving a small cutting board, knife, oven, and stove in the space left behind. “Go ahead, Tomoko-chan. That counter there’s all yours.”

The bright smile on my face was just as sudden as the swing of Embarrassment from earlier. “Thank you very much, Chef-san!”

The man only scoffed softly in a way reminiscent of Vy’s old Dad, almost in disbelief judging by the noise. In the end, he still nodded in acknowledgement at me as the other staff slowly moved away enough so that I could walk over.

For a corrupt military, the staff’s surprisingly sweet.

Maybe they don’t have a lot of kids around?

My Nobody only shrugged. Then I started hearing whispers while walking past.

“That Jack sure is lucky.”

“Of course it’s the paperwork guy who gets a cute girl looking after them.”

“Why can’t I get someone to drop through a hole in the ceiling to love me?”

Ohhhh! Hisako was smirking. Oh no. My, my, my! Tomoko-chan, you’re popular!

I still ran through the kitchen as fast as I could to get to that corner, because the heat on my face wasn’t going to go down otherwise. Aaaaaaah.

What was wrong with loving a caretaker like a sibling when you didn’t have any? Well, I technically had Kei and Hayate, but there was something different about older siblings than younger ones. In a past life, I was the younger one, and that was a mixed bag. Actually having that memory when it came to my Marine caretaker was the main seal to the deal. I could at least help out without looking like a brat doing it.

Reincarnation had benefits when it was botched. Apparently.

Still, once I got to my corner and got a good stare over everything, my head blanked. Um. “I know I said I wanted to cook something, but what’s good for a cold…?”

Soup? Hisako offered helpfully. Chicken Noodle? Clam Chowder? Gumbo? Or, heck, curry? Anything warm should do!

Those were all good suggestions. Especially since Jackie-nee was said to be resting from her cold.

I looked around. The kitchen staff were currently using a lot of seafood judging by the nearby lobster platter, so the clam chowder was a bust. I wasn’t even sure if I could do gumbo at my age, but chicken noodle soup sounded nice.

Only problem.

The only chicken I could see in the entire kitchen was a big frozen one sitting in the nearby freezer, and the staff were pretty crowded over there.

Ummmm.

Run?

No. This is a kitchen, Hisako.

Point. Fast-walk and try to wing carrying it?

It was an idea.

I tried. I really did. But being a short little girl in a crowd of tall chefs kinda meant being squished. Think any anime/gaming convention, where you would bump shoulders with someone every 5 seconds. It was like that.

“E-Er, excuse me? I’m trying to get through?” Even with my voice cracking, getting stuck in a crowd of moving people meant elbowing, and I was not good at that. Even if Kei had taught me self-defense, this was not the time to be throwing hands! “I-I’d like to get that chicken, please!”

Ignored. Because there was so much hustling and a pre-pubescent voice was hard to make out.

Aaaaah.

And then hands were sliding under my arms and effortlessly lifting me up, and I found myself squeaking. I could already tell that this wasn’t Wendy-nee’s grip, so who—

“Hey, you guys really should look out when in the kitchen. This little lady would’ve gotten hurt.”

Huh?

I looked behind me and met the stare of someone clearly new. I don’t know if he was ever in this kitchen staff before, but with his curly eyebrow, greyish-blue eye, straight blond hair falling down to brush the left side of his face, and muscular arms in spite of the Marine chef uniform, he definitely looked like someone that Jackie-nee would want to take a picture for when it came to bounties. This new person was definitely something. “You alright, ojou-chan?”

He grinned while still holding me up in his hands, and I tried not to squirm. Wearing a skirt in the kitchen and being lifted all the while was…yeah. “I-I am, but um, Chef-san?” I gestured to the ground while trying not to inwardly panic. “C-Could you please put me down?” I pointed to my corner. “Over there?”

The new Chef blinked at the direction I was pointing at before grinning again and nodding. “Whatever the ojou-chan wishes~!” I didn’t miss how he hummed before he literally slid over to my corner, ignoring chefs passing him all the while, and I tried not to focus on the sensation of my stomach churning. Motion sickness would be motion sickness.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to think on the stomach butterflies longer than necessary, because he was quick to put me down, still grinning all the while. “Now, ojou-chan.” I was not expecting his smile to turn into a more solemn expression. “What were you doing there? This is a kitchen, and not exactly the best place to play around.”

Aaaah. Another adult. I tried not to pout. “I was trying to get the chicken from the freezer. My older sibling who’s in the Marines got sick, and I was thinking of trying to make Chicken Noodle soup for them!”

He only blinked that same grey-blue eye at me before pulling on a more amused smile. “Oh?” he said softly, before turning his head around to look towards that far-away refrigerator. “Do you at least know how to make it, ojou-chan?”

…Um.

Uh.

I squeaked, “No?”

We did not think this through.

He only pulled on a more confident smile while tossing something into the nearest trash can. Was it…a cigarette? “Well then! Let this cook help you out, ojou-chan!”

I blinked. “It’s okay?”

With that same confidence, he turned to me while twirling a — holy crap, he was twirling a knife. I only blinked once, and then he was brandishing a small bowl of diced…diced onions? When did he— “I’m a cook, ojou-chan. And when a lady is in trouble, it’s natural to help out.” He then sat down on his knees, looking at me with that grey-blue eye, now sparkling. “I’m Sanji by the way, ojou-chan. What’s your name?”

Ah. He reminded me of Leo, at least a little. “I-I’m Hoshino Tomoko, Sanji-san.” Out of habit, I took a bit of my skirt to curtsy. “It’s nice to meet you, and I hope to work with you!”

Sanji-san only grinned. “And I you, little lady.”

He then brandished a bowl of cut carrots. Wow, that was a lot of skill.

Chicken Noodle Soup was, surprisingly enough, simple. Even though I only had Vy’s experience to call from when cooking, Sanji-san was quick. It only took an hour for him to prepare homemade chicken and vegetable broths for the soup, and by the time the chicken hit the soup pot, a warm homey smell was wafting around the kitchen, and I could’ve sworn some chefs were drooling while walking past.

“So, ojou-chan,” he said while stirring the soup with a ladle, “who’s your older sibling?”

Aaaand Sanji-san had to ask just when I was putting dishes away in this little corner. “Davy Jack-san! Currently going by Jackie, but I call her Jackie-nee! I think…” my voice cracked while recalling Wendy-nee’s words. “A Flamingo got angry and gave her a cold? Or something?”

The words were silly, but I didn’t miss how Sanji-san tensed. It almost looked like a shiver went up his spine before a nervous chuckle sounded. “D-Davy Jack, huh…? That’s interesting, ojou-chan.” He then muttered something under his breath that I couldn’t hear, but all I could make out was, “that explains things.”

Hisako wasn’t having any of it. He’s nice, but I dunno, Tomoko-chan. That reaction wasn’t the best.

Did my caretaker know this guy?

I ended up voicing it. “Do you know Jackie-nee, Sanji-san?”

Immediately, the cook turned to me with a warm smile, turning down the heat to the soup pot while doing so. “Kinda, ojou-chan. It’s a long story. But the soup’s almost done!”

Yep. That was a sudden subject change. So something did happen between them.

And was it just me, or did Sanji-san look sad for a moment?

I blinked, and as soon as I thought that, the glint in that grey-blue eye disappeared. “Still, ojou-chan, wanna go serve this soup to your sibling then? I have to be somewhere, so I can’t stay long.”

Already, I was feeling disappointed. It had only been a few hours but having a cooking companion aside from my Nobody did something. “Will I see you again?”

Sanji-san then turned off the heat entirely before turning to me fully and sitting down on his knees. “Of course, ojou-chan.” He then grinned, reaching over to poke my forehead through my bangs, and I tried not to wince. “Just look for a sail with a skull and a straw hat, and you’ll find me.”

Skull and a straw hat? What the hell is that supposed to be? A pirate flag thing?

I still nodded in spite of Hisako’s incoming rant. “Okay.”

Of course, I would jump on Sanji-san for a hug too. He deserved it, at least.

Jackie-nee was sitting up in her bed at the barracks, reading what looked like a book when I was finally able to pop in. Wendy-nee was still at work along with the other Marines, so it made sense that there was no one else around.

I did my best to balance the soup bowl tray in my hands while hiding it from view. “Jackie-nee?”

She blinked before looking up from her book, and of course I could see that familiar spark that I grew to love so much. “Tomo-chan,” she murmured happily, then coughed softly into one of her hands. “Sorry, I can’t hug you right now. Still — hack — sick. Wendy told you that, didn’t she?”

Even then, I couldn’t help but smile back. “Wendy-nee did say that, but I do have something for you!”

“What’s that, sweetie?”

“Well…” I tried not to run over to her bedside and instead walked over as gently as I could before brandishing the tray for her to take. “Chicken Noodle Soup. To help make the sick go away?”

I still wanted to ask myself how and why I reverted to childish talk when it only came to my caretaker, but the warm smile on her face made the thought process stop in its tracks. “Oh, Tomo-chan.” She looked down at the warm bowl before taking the spoon and blowing at it. “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to!” Another pout was coming up on my face now. “I missed you and you deserve something to help you rest better! You work too much!”

At that, Jackie-nee suddenly snorted before laughing softly. “Yeah? I guess so.” The warmth in her voice said everything as she finally took a sip, and then the color was returning to her face as she smiled. “Whoa. Tomo-chan,” she gave me that same warm smile, “did you make this all by yourself?”

Nope. Hisako said for me.

“Nope,” I repeated with a more sheepish shrug. “I had help.”

Now Jackie-nee was confused. “Who helped? Wendy?”

Should I say the name…?

No harm in trying, dear. Hisako only patted my head.

“A new chef in the kitchen?” I found myself raising a pointer finger. “His name was Sanji-san!”

I was not expecting Jackie-nee to nearly drop her spoon mid-bite. “S-Sanji?”

Oh dear. Bombshell.

“Um, he was nice,” I filled in instead, because the sudden silence and the shock in Jackie-nee’s gaze was kinda hard to deal with all at once. “He helped me cut chicken and taught me how to make vegetable broth for next time! He also kept me out from being trampled by crowds and called me ‘ojou-chan’!”

“…What next time?” Jackie-nee said incredulously, but the simple fact that she was still eating was a good sign. At least, I was hoping so. “And, pffft.” I wasn’t expecting her to snort into her free hand. “‘Ojou-chan,’ huh.” But, oh.

She was smiling again.

I sat down at the foot of her bed, trying not to show my confusion. “Jackie-nee?”

She gave me that same warm smile. “It’s nothing, Tomo-chan. Nothing at all.”

And this time, I could believe it. Somewhat. At least while sneaking in one hug.

Hey. I have pride in my immune system, and screw colds! Soup keeps the doctor away!

“T-Tomo-chan, I’m sick…!”

“Just lemme hug you once, Jackie-nee, I missed you!”

Her only response was an exasperated laugh. I could settle for that. It kept thoughts of asking about Sanji-san away for another day.

[thehappymessproject]

49/100 - Inner monsters : insidious perfectionism

Not a good thing at all

I used to buy into the myth that perfectionism is a good thing, a “fake flaw”, like so many of us. Even if my perfectionism was quite exhausting and frustrating, it made me feel like I was rigorous, I loved well done work and couldn’t “help myself” to be all in when I was doing things. It made me feel better than people who would do things half-assed and without any passion or commitment. 

OMG I’m actually a bit embarrassed to have written that first paragraph I have to confess. It makes me feel stupid that I bought in such utter BS, easy con at some point. Which is, very appropriately, yet another layer of perfectionism. That’s how pervasive it gets. I’m not allowed to make any mistakes, to be human.

How procrastination and perfectionism work hand in hand with shame

The first time I started to doubt myself on this was while reading “Procrastination : why you do it, what to do about it” from Jane Burka and Lenora Yuen, almost 10 years ago. It helped me realise how much procrastination and perfectionism were entangled, nourishing each other. 

I used to call myself the empress of procrastination too, with again, some kind of weird pride. A friend of mine added me to a group named “Anonymous Procrastinators”, where we would share jokes on the matter, but no one seemed remotely interested in changing anything about it, very much like perfectionism. 

Actually, it’s worse than that : most of us treat perfectionism and procrastination as personalty traits, things inherent to our identity and way of functioning. Completely oblivious about the fact that by doing so, we make them that much harder to actually change.

What’s the trick?

And then, [cue : light coming from the sky and mystic “aaaaaah” voice harmonies], Brene Brown made her entrance in my life. At that point, her work and mine are so entangled that I allow myself to be on a first name basis with her. Brene is a researcher/story teller. Her work on shame and vulnerability is absolutely brilliant and so liberating (click on each words to see hew awesome TED talks). 

You see, perfectionism is rooted in shame. We don’t want to make things perfect because we love them and take them seriously, but because we don’t love ourselves enough to accept how imperfect we are, and to accept that perfection doesn’t exist. 

By wanting to make things perfect anyway, we set standards that are impossible to attain. Things becomes polarised (black and white) : either perfect or shitty, and since they’ll never be perfect, everything basically becomes shitty. 

And because we learn through that process that we produce shitty things, to compensate, we start to procrastinate them to protect ourselves from the feeling of failing. 

If we procrastinate, we can’t do them perfectly, we don’t have time. Therefore, we can always save face when we don’t get the grades or results we wanted by saying “Well, if I had had the time, I would have done better”. We entertain an idea of our own hypothetical greatness, without ever challenging ourselves to see what we are really capable of. Perfect ego trap.

The content of those two last paragraphs blew my mind and changed my life forever when I really studied them and their implications. Perfectionism and procrastination never helped me or anyone in the first place, they just made stuff harder, and made me feel like shit, in order to avoid the discomfort of facing reality. Wasting so so much of my life, time and energy. 

You have no idea of the intensity of the break-down that ensued discovering those.

What can we do?

Fortunately, those depressing facts came with some blueprint to get out of there. By seeing perfectionism and his pal, procrastination, as some kind of vulnerability phobia, we become allowed to train our ability to be vulnerable : we become able to strengthen our bravery muscles. 

Don’t panic. I’m not saying we need to do heroic stuff to do so. I am talking about a much more important kind of bravery : ordinary courage. 

Ordinary courage is a very important skill to practice. Choosing to be vulnerable and brave rather than to feel like we are winning, in control, and powerful is one of the most life-altering things I’ve ever learnt. Obviously, it’s not an easy one, and it takes time, energy and intention. The goods news being that each time we practice it it becomes easier. The more we do it the less scary life seems. 

To me, it came down to two things working together : grounding practices (click for my text on those) and creativity. Journaling and meditation help us greatly by being a time to observe how much we are constantly changing, how useless it is to evaluate ourselves, and having clarity on our needs and wants. By showing us everyday that we can’t predict or know that well how we’ll feel, we start opening up, being more flexible, observing instead of judging. 

Yoga was crazy efficient for me. It taught me to accept where I was everyday, one step at a time. Being slightly disabled, there are so many things I can’t do. So in order to keep doing it, I needed to let go of my wanting to progress fast, to balance things with ease... 

There are quite basic poses I still can’t do after 4 years, and yet, I never cared less about being incompetent. Who cares that I can’t do a headstand or a high lunge when doing way simpler things bring so much joy and serenity to me already while teaching me how to accept myself? 

That’s what ordinary courage brings us : the freedom of being our imperfect failing selves.

Creativity helped me even more by providing even more play (yoga teach us how to play with our body through movement, like a very slow dance with practice). 

I used to lose my mind when practicing any kind of creative endeavour. Each time I had a crush on a medium, I would get a little too far, working on it very seriously, taking courses, reading manuals and tutorials by dozens without actual practicing.

Once I would finally get myself to actually practice, I would always end up super disappointed about my actual performance. And my perfectionist brain wouldn’t accept that it was completely normal, even by learning and reading a lot about it, that I would suck at something I never practice. 

At some point, I would find more and more excuses to not practice more, avoiding that feeling of failure, even if I was feeling shitty for being “that girl who never finished up anything she starts”.  

The same thing would go for things that I couldn’t really learn about before practicing. Things that were maybe easier and fun at first. I would be very into it, until it got hard. Then I would slowly lose interest, certain that since I wasn’t easily good at it, it must mean it’s just not my thing, I simply didn’t have any talent at it. 

After reading Brene’s books, I decided that I would focus on courage for a year. I tried many small new things I never dared to try. Every time I felt uncomfortable and wanted to quit, I put more energy into being brave instead. I pushed myself to say no to things that I hated and yes to things I loved. I tried to go back to those things I used to love but “had to” give up. It was way better, but still quite a struggle. 

I realised with practice that my ability to discourage myself with harsh judgements and impossible standards was too strong for my own good. I needed something to trick my brain into doing something scary, important for me and while not realising I was learning something and skill was involved. It wasn’t easy. 

Until I found my first classes on watercolour painting. I watched quite a few of them, but only playful beginners courses, with lots of practice exercises and especially, abstract exercises. And pushed myself to try, even just for a few minutes sometimes. 

Abstract is really easy when you don’t know anything about painting : it’s basically about playing with shapes and colours and observe what is happening. You have to fail and can’t fail at the same time.

It was still really scary to do. I had to find so many ways to trick myself. Snacks and peppermint tea helped. Smoking helped. Finding fun and easy subjects to paint definitely helped. Finding a friend interested in trying it out too made me accountable and helped staying motivated. Making sessions short, but frequent was life saving (it makes anything way easier than it is at first, in the quickest way possible).  

Not even a year later, I was able to go back to photography, and finally be brave enough to practice and suck at it. Courage is contagious to all parts of life, once we train it, we change in such a deep way, we start loving ourselves more, to be naturally bolder, to trust ourselves and the process of growth, life itself. Everything around us change. We set better boundaries, make better choices, can listen to ourselves better. 

Coupled with better awareness, courage makes us virtually unstoppable.

So my only wish for anyone reading this today is that you found here the inspiration of doing anything that you find scary (let’s start at 3-4/10 on a fear scale, 10 being the scariest thing you can imagine doing) today, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Give yourself that opportunity for some self-love and bravery practice.

See you tomorrow,  Love,  L.  

[moonraccoon-exe]

(1/2) RACC!! *drops to knees and hugs you* you adorable little fluffball, why are you so sweet!? If nathan could blush he would! In all honesty, I accidentally uploaded that oc, he's was sitting in my drafts until I ever got the courage to share my ocs. So to see you actually enjoying or being curious about them makes me wanna cry. And well you lifted my spirits about drawing and actually sharing them and what not. So thank you for giving me more courage to not be afraid of sharing them.

*LOUD INHALE*

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! (☆▽☆)

YUU HEWWO OMG HI! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

IT’S MY HOOMAN IT’S-

IT’S MAH HOOMAN SHE HUGGING ME AND I AKSJDSDGH WRIGGLE IN HER ARMS BECAUSE I’M SO HAPPEH AND I SNUGGLE BACK AND I- AND I’M SO EXCITED HEWWO YUU IT’S THE HOOMAN THAT ADOPTED ME AND I LOVE HER AND HELLO! o(≧▽≦)o

YUU, HEWWO! ( ´ ▽ ` )♡

AKLSDJALDHGALKD, I felt SO HAPPY when I saw you drop by my ask, I was like *bounces all over the room* and I’m still so happy re reading it and everything hi!! I’ve missed you! 

I know it’s my fault because I still don’t reply in PMs after like FOREVER but I wantto do it soon, Yuu. I’m sorry (｡•́︿•̀｡)

ASDJKAGKSFJDALKSDAHKLSGHAFL

NATHAN DEAR

I LOVE HIM THE MOMENT I SAW HIM! 

At first I was like “so what show or game is this nice fella from?” then I saw it was one of your OC’s and I was like LKJASKDLHADKLFJLADKJ FREAKING OUT BECAUSE OH OoOooOoH BOY I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR OC’S AND I WAS SUPER HYPED TO SEE ONE AND bOY I LOVE HIM ALREADY

Dear Nathan, makes me curious! I didn’t know I found people with long dreads cute until Weskham and a guy in the bus and then dear Nathan and I WAS WEAK.

Aaaw, Yuu. You’re so sweet and so cute. ( ´ ▽ ` ) It makes me super excited that you decided to share an OC, and I’m happy that it was sort of a chain reaction, where you making me happy made you happy back. Thank you so much for dropping by to say thanks, pleasure is all mine! I’m happy to know that you felt a little more courage about sharing OC’s. I know it’s difficult that people pay attention to them, I myself sometimes ignore some of my friends’ OC or stuff due to different reasons, so it really takes something to share one. I’m happy that you decided to do it, Yuu! That speaks so nicely about you. You draw and make the things that make you  happy and that you wanna share, buddy! I know there’s always someone else that cares and  might feel curious. I know I do (˙︶˙)

HOH! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME KNOW IT’S FINE TO ASK ANYTHING, I KNOW IMMA DO THAT! Ajfaoslkfjalksjfakldfajd, precious twins are still in my head and now Nathan too and I NEED ANSWERS AAAAAAH

So you expect me in your askbox sometime soon, you, Yuu, you thing you wonderful Yuu, you.  |･ω･)

Imma put the rest under a cut, alrighty, buddy? Hope you don’t mind!ヽ(・ω・)ﾉ

I’m doing good, thank you!! ( ´ ▽ ` )

I’m still struggling a little with frustration as to not being able to do everything 100% on my own. Carrying heavy things and do effort, that is. I can’t even walk my doggo because she gets super hyped and pulls too hard from the leash and I can control her, but I shouldn’t do that unless I want to go back to surgery room and THANK YOU NO OH MY GAWD ヽ(°〇°)ﾉYou know, due to hernias and stuff. Those I can avoid, and if I can, I shall!

But yeah. Walking the doggo, washing the backyard, carry the water jar. It’s a mess of frustration, mostly because I spend most time home alone and I just stand there like an idiot unable to do stuff ヽ(>﹏

But really, it’s just a momentary thing! With the months, I’ll be healing and soon enough will be back in my normal life as in in a 100%. It’s gonna take long but I don’t mind so long I recover nicely and good, which I’m doing!!

Everything’s gone smooth, I can eat anything I want, no complications, and I’ve even been able to go back to my nest. (˙︶˙)

So yep, healing fast and good! Thank you so much for asking! ( ´ ▽ ` )

GASPS

THE TINY TWINS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*SQUEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK*

THE TINY TWINS, IT ME! But they they and also me but they be they and aksljdlakjfa, aaah!

Thank you so much, Yuu! I’m SO HAPPY that you  liked the tiny twins and YOU’VE ADOPTED THEM YAY!! o(>ω

I’ve actually got a few more things to say about them, but I was hoping Vyv’s photographer took a nice shot of them to do that. That’s actually the reason I took a few days to answer to you, I wanted to give you some nice shots of the tiny twins but…yeah. No matter how many missions I make, I mostly get photos of the monsters and the AI’s butts ( ´ ▽ ` ;)

But I’ll get some one day you’ll see! Yesterday I got a nice shot of Raccoonie, but Raccoon is still too camera shy and  won’t show more than his back goddammit, but one day!

Imma make sure to show you when I get a nice shot of my idiots! Thank you so much, dear Yuu! Aiwjaiojkldfjaklgjdaf

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YUU

I’VE

MISSED 

YOU

AH

AKLJSJDFEALITJFA LFJDSGLSDJF ALKSJFA

*UNCONTROLLABLY BOUNCING ACROSS THE ROOM*

YOU WONDERFUL AND LOVELY THING, thank you SO DAMN MUCH for dropping by, buddy! Just seeing your icon there made me absolutely ecstatic and all bouncy and joy and fluff. And then your ask is nothing but lots of positivity and love and HOW DO I HOLD MY FEELINGS TOGETHER KASJDLFKADJFAKLJF

You amazing hooman. How can you be so sweet and amazing!?!?

*clings to your head*

This be my hooman and I love her. This a nice hooman that deserves the world akljdkldgjakldfjklgda

YUU

Thank you SO MUCH for dropping by with this WONDERUFL and great ask! It made my day, I’d have been happy even if you had just dropped a dot, and you gave me so much more than that so I’m very happy!

Thank you for saying thanks, and you’re welcome! I loved Nathan’s design and the progress you made so of course I had to share and say what I thought!

Thank you as well for mentioning the tiny twins, and for asking how I’m doing.

You’re truly so nice and sweet! ( ´ ▽ ` )

Thank you LOTS for dropping by! The raccoon shall now stay hugged to your head for the rest of the week askdjfkdafkladj, AIN’T YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE ME OFF YOU, DEAL WITH IT

Thanks again, Yuu!

I hope you’re having a MOST FANTASTIC day!!  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

[luffysmeat]

Five years, six months

A/N: We have Sabo next on the series! I decided to post the same picture on each one, so I hope you don’t mind! Also! This time the child’s name has a meaning that is related with uh… the story?

Tomomi: beautiful wisdom. 

I basically wanted to portray the child’s personality with his name, also, I see Sabo as someone who’s very wise, so it’s also because of that! I hope i’m making sense here. Anyway, I hope you enjoyr this. I’M SORRY IS TOO LONG AAAAAAH.

Words: 2,942 (this one is longer aaaaaaah. under the cut!)

“Sweet God, I can’t believe you”, Sabo mumbles as you turn around to find the same tree for the second time. He lets out a long sigh.

“Excuse me? This is not my fault, Sabo”, you say, ears and cheeks burning angrily and because of the sun above.

This was supposed to be an easy mission, you and Sabo would take care of it since you always work together very well. However, everything went wrong today, the map of the island you received was the one Koala was supposed to get, and Sabo and you have been going around this tropical island for about an hour with nowhere to go.

The sun was burning your skin, the water was almost over and food was already digesting in his and your belly. And, above all, Sabo was angry. He was furious and, for some reason, he decided that the reason of his distress was you and only you.

“Well, if it’s not your fault then why are we lost while you are, in fact, holding the map?”, he snaps, finally stopping and crossing his arms above his chest, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

His hat was still on, but his jacket was off and his hair was tied up in a little ponytail. He looked amazing, but you can’t say that right now, you can’t even think about that again as he looks at you with those eyes. Blaming you.

“They gave us the wrong map! Koala probably has ours! It wasn’t my frigging fault! I didnt-

“But you’re always like this! Distracted and thinking about other things when you shouldn’t. I even get tired of your stupidity!”

A part of you wanted to believe that Sabo was exhausted, because you were too. Your feet were begging for you to stop walking and your legs and your whole body just begged somewhere fresh where you could take a nap and have food, so you understood that Sabo was feeling this way.

But, he wasn’t allowed to say such things. You were his right hand, for God’s sake! He chose you because of your abilities and aptitudes, even before you both started dating. Even before you both started liking each other. He gave you his trust and you were loyal to him and to the Revolutionary Army.

He has no right to say such things.

But you don’t want to fight, even if you’re feeling your blood boiling, you don’t want to fight because fighting will not solve your problems, so you sigh, long and tiredly and look at him with calm eyes.

“This is the second time I’m telling you this, Sabo. This is not my fault. You’re not listening to me. They gave us-

“Accept your mistakes, [Name]!”, he interrupts you again. “ You should’ve looked that map even before we started following it!”, you growl low in your throat as you turn the map for him to look at it. It was ridiculous.

“it’s a frigging piece of paper, Sabo! It’s not even a real map! How am I supposed to kn-

“I wouldn’t be surprised if some day someone tell me you’re dead!” You flinch at the poison on his words. “You always have your mind somewhere else! I wouldn’t even care, [Name]!”

How can he…

“Oh, yeah? Then maybe I just should die right now, don’t you think?!”

“Dammit! Yes. Yes, I do think so! Just yes! Just die here, pleas-

… say such things.

“There you are!”, you hear Koala’s voice far away, but she’s about 10 steps away from you. You could hear your pulse behind your ears as you stared at Sabo. He was so sure abour his words, so, he wants you to die? “There was a big mistake with the map delivering, I think we’ve got yours and- oh, is something wrong?”, she asks after seeing your expression and you barely have time to say something before Sabo spoke up.

“Thank goodness!”, he says and follows the rest of the team out of the island and to the ship.

You watch him go and you feel a soft tug at your belly, placing a warm hand on top of it. It was too soon to feel anything, but you certainly could feel the warm of a little life forming on your insides.

Sabo didn’t turn to see if you were following him. 

“[Name]”, Koala whispers, touching your arm softly. “Is something wrong?”, you look at her and give a sad smile, the look on her eyes, though, making you feel something awkward in your chest and your eyes started to fill with tears.

“Nothing wrong, Koala”, you say, grabbing her hand and squeezing it softly. “Don’t worry”

“Did you tell him?”, she asks, a little sparkle on her eyes, you shake your head.

“I didn’t have the time”, it’s your answer before you both start to walk toward the ship.

***

Sabo woke up three hours later, back in the base and into his quarters. He was very surprised to not find you laying beside him, you usually enjoy taking naps with- oh.

“Shit”, he mumbles, jumping out of the bed and running to your quaters. His mind running just as fast as him, recalling the events from earlier. Koala appears out of nowhere, almost crashing with him. “Have you seem, [Name]?”, he asks Koala before he gets to your room, he can see the door closed and little feel of hope fills his heart.

“Not after we arrived”, she shrugs. “Is everything alright?”, Koala raises a curious eyebrow.

“I don’t know”, he answers and he runs to where he thinks you are. To where you’re supposed to be. To where he prays for you to be.

Koala, worried about his behaviour, decides to follow him. He knocks on the door. “[Name]! [Name], open the door, please!”, he waits about three seconds, and when no reply comes from you, he opens the door and he takes a sharp breath.

“Oh my- did [Name]… run away?!”, Koala says, pushing Sabo away from the entry and rooming around, looking for your things, but it was empty. You’ve left a few things here and there, but everything too importan was gone.

You were gone.

Sabo kicked the door and screamed in frustration. His heart was beating hard against his ribs and he felt a knot growing on his throat. You were gone.

“What did you do, Sabo?”, she accused, knowing you wouldn’t just run away, not leaving Sabo behind and everyone else. Not with three months pregnant.

He doesn’t answer. He can’t say it. He doesn’t believe what he said to you. To you. His right hand, his lover. His honest to God, love of his life.

“I told her to die back in the island and that I wouldn’t care”, he mumbles, pressing the bridge of his nose with his pointer finger and thumb. Koala gasped.

“You did what?!”

“I was angry and exhausted!”

“So you tell the person you love to die just because you’re tired?!”

“You did what?”, Hak and a few other members of the Revolutionary Army appeared in the hall.

“I’m going to look for her”

“Oh yeah? Where? To the north? What if she went to the south? To the next island? What if she went to somewhere else?!”

Sabo clenched his teeth and fists and lets one of them beat the nearest wall, making a whole in it.

He really screwed it this time.

You had a little heart attack when you turned around, after leaving a coffee in one of the tables of the little restaurant, and you didn’t see your child sitting where you told him to stay. You tried to stay calm, turning your head to the right- nothing, and then to the left- there he is.

“Sweet God”, you whisper and quickly make your way to where he is.

“… and then- ah, mommy!”, his face lights up when he sees you, his smile grows until his right cheek dips at the corner of his mouth. “Mommy! I’m telling this sir the story your told me about that person!”, you brush his long blond bangs out of his face and bow a little in front of the man, he was drinking some tea that you just served.

“I’m really sorry for my son’s behaviour”, you say. “I hope he didn’t give you some much troubles”, the man just smiles and waves his hand.

“Don’t you worry about it, dear”, he says. “Tomomi here has such amazing stories to tell, I hope I get to hear them again soon!”, he gets up and Tomomi waves him a goodbye before taking your hand and look up at you.

“I told you not to move from the bar, Tomomi”, you say as you start to walk towards the bar. Tomomi sits in the chair he’s supposed to be sat and you round the bar until you’re at the other side, cleaning the surface. 

“I’m sorry, mommy. That man really looked cool so I wanted to share a story with him”, you hum and smile up at him, stopping your chores and looking at him.

“I see, however, you can’t tell everyone those stories, you know? Especially not about that person”, he frowns as you place your chin in the palm of your hand.

“Why?”

“He’s a very important person in his organization, but some mean people are after him too”, you brush his bangs back again and take a clip from your hair, putting it on him. “So we have to be a bit discreet about it”

“I understand, mommy”, you believed him. Of course he understood. “But… can you tell me another story?”

You smiled and looked around the restaurant, today was quite empty so you sighed and nodded your head. “Maybe a little one”

“Yaaaay~”, he places his chin on top of his little chubby hands and you couldn’t help but stare at him.

You couldn’t believe how awake are his mind and his soul with just five years old. Tomomi is smart and wise, he sometimes acted like a 50-year-old person instead of his age. He is just like him. Tomomi enjoys to learn and explore and live and see and talk and ask. He loves to gain knowledge and to know what’s outside the little island you live in. 

The little island you came five years and six months ago, after what happened with Sabo. It was a tiny place, and the people around welcomed you like if it has always been your home and soon enough you were working as a waitress in this little restaurant/cafe. The owners even let you take Tomomi with you, knowing his behaviour was exceptional. 

“Mommy!”, he whines, when you don’t say anything, you laugh.

“Sorry, sorry”, he pouts and you poke his nose. “So, I think I’ll tell you about this place called Dressrosa today”, Tomomi beams.

He is not like Sabo just in personallity, he looks exactly like him too: blond hair, big rounded, black eyes, a little kitten’s nose and heart made of fire. He even likes to wear his hair a bit long, and, to your dismay, it makes Tomomi look even more like him.

Five years already had passed after you last saw Sabo. You haven’t know anything about him, so it was good because it means he was still alive, but it was also bad because you didn’t know if he was injuried or kidnapped or worst.

You really do miss him with all your heart. There are times when you can’t even think about his name because it makes your chest hurt. And you didn’t want your baby to see you sad, so you always have to swallow the pain. And it was worth, Tomomi’s smile was what you needed the most.

“Dressrosa?”, he asks, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

But still… your heart, your mind, your soul scream for Sabo to come back.

“Mhmm, a few years ago, probably five-

"That’s my age!”

“It is, huh? I went to a mission with that man in a city called Dressrosa”, your child beams with happiness. “Dressrosa was such a different place from all the ones I had seen-

That man, how many times have you used that phrase? That man means a lot of things: ‘a hero’, ‘the chief of staff of the Revolutionary Army’, ‘your father’, ‘the love of my life’, ‘Sabo’.

"Why mommy? Why?”

“Because, in Dressrosa-

"Humans lived along with toys”, a shiver ran down your spine hearing that voice. Tomomi looks up, but you just couldn’t do it, your body was stiff and your lungs were burning since you were holding your breath without noticing.

“Sir, do you know mommy’s story? Oh! Were you there?!”, you heard a low chuckle and your eyes start to fill with tears. Sabo.

“I was there, yes”, he says. “I was there with your mother”, tears finally start to fall down your cheeks just in time Tomomi turns to look at you. His smile fades away as soon as he see teardrops falling down your chin and into the bar.

“Mommy, why are you crying”, he’s fast to jump into the surface of the bar and place his little hands in your cheeks. “Shh, don’t cry, mommy”, he whispers before looking up at Sabo. “Something’s wrong with my mommy, sir. She never cries… I think she’s upset because you were telling the story”, he says with consternation in his voice and you can’t help but chuckle a little before hugging him closer to you, he wraps his legs around your waist and nuzzles your neck.

You finally dare to look up and your cheeks quickly turn a shade of red seeing him standing right in front of you. It was a dream. It was not possible. 

“I found you”, he says and you shiver, your ears craving to hear more of his smooth voice. “It took me a while, but I found you”, the tears do not stop falling from your eyes, all the emotions swirling on your chest, overwhelming you. You’re suddenly glad that the bar is right between you two. 

“What are you doing here?”, you can’t say his name at out loud. Not after not saying it for five years, not because you know your heart is weak against him and as soon as his name leaves his mouth you’ll have the intense need of touching him, kiss him. Feel him again. Over and Over.

“I had a mission and- God, [Name]. I looked for you in every single place I was sent. I asked everyone around if they had seen you and even show them pictures”, his eyes suddenly fix on Tomomi, who’s dozing up in your arms. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

“I was going to”, yo confess. “That day when I left. I was going to tell you, but you-

“I am so sorry. I was so stupid, [Name]. Everything I said was- it was our of place. I don’t- I was so scared that you were… dead”, his works break at the end and he tries to clear his throat a little before talking again. “I’ve been thinking about you being dead for five years. I lost hope of finding you”

You can’t help but snap back a cruel: “Well, that’s what you wan-

“No”, he stops you and gets closer until the bar stops him, but he leans against it and his face is mere inches away from yours. “I’m looking into your eyes right now and I say, with my hear on my hand, that I never, listen, never wanted you or want you to be dead, [Name]. I was stupid. I was an idiot. I hurt your so much. You were my right hand. You are my lover and I-

He shuts his mouth, his eyes looking straight into the very depths of your soul, the corners that you only had left him look at. Your weaknesses and strenghts. The real you. You notice the blush covering his cheeks when he sees a smile stretching your lips. “You’re so stupid, Sabo”.

“I am really sorry, [Name]”, and you believe him, as much as you believe Tomomi when he says he understood something. And you forgive him. Because you had forgave him five years and six months ago. He didn’t mean those words, he didn’t mean to hurt you. He never means to hurt you. 

You finally reach for his face, placing your hand on his cheek. He nuzzles the you palm and kisses it softly, making you shudder a little. Your skin tingling with the feeling of his soft lips as you lick your own. He was here.

“Now what?”, you whisper, afraid of braking this moment and to wake up Tomomi, who was sleeping soundly in your arms. 

“We finish the story after he wakes up”, he says like a matter of fact and he takes your hand between his and kisses each of your knuckles. Your hand is shaking, overwhelmend with the feeling. Ah, your skin has been craving his lips for so long. 

“And then what, Sabo?”, he looks at your eyes and smiles.

“Then we’ll see what we can do”, he cups the side of your face and you feel your face burning, oh how much you hated this bar coming in the way between you two. “I’ll not leave you on your own never again, [Name]”, he looks at Tomomi and smiles warmly, dipping his fingers into Tomomi’s long, blond hair. “I’ll not leave any of you, ever again”.

I love you.

[wanderfan2000]

Wander

Wander is, by default, free spirited, easily excited, up beat, happy and optimistic. He is prone to switching gears on a dime, going from laid back and mellow to sudden loud, fast‐talking outbursts of realization. This spiritedness should have a sincere childlike enthusiasm and innocence to it; he should never feel false, phony or insincere. It’s important to avoid casting someone that just does a “crazy cartoon” voice. There should be a warmth and sweetness amidst his manic lunacy.

Friendly/spazzy: WOW! WHAT A NEAT LITTLE TOWN! They got a castle and everything! Is that where the king lives? I never met a king before, I bet he’s nice, he’s gotta be with a town so nice! Friendly/sympathetic: Aww what’s wrong little fella, why ya’ all down in the dumps? Well your pal Wander’s got just the cure for that right here in my hat—OH, OH what’s this?! WELL IT’S A GREAT BIG HUG! Laid back: Aaaaaah! This is the life, Sylvia. The sound of the wind through the trees, the warmth of the two suns on your back and your best buddy by your side—or in my case, under your butt. Righteous: WAIT A CORNFORSAKEN MINUTE! THIS SO AIN’T RIGHT, IT’S DOWNRIGHT WRONG!! Laughing: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Sylvia

Sylvia does not consider herself a pessimist, she considers herself a realist. Though she’s strong enough, tough enough and capable enough to be one of the galaxies greatest vigilantes, her belief that no good deed ever goes unpunished keeps her constantly mumbling and grumbling under her breath every time Wander finds a soft enough spot in her heart to convince her to join him in an act of do-goodery. This constant state of exasperation does not derive from a source of hatred, rather it springs forth from an overwhelming frustration with the mindboggling idiocies of the universe and a clear idea of how things could and should work. In a world of chaos and nonsense where she adventures with an overly impulsive hero, Sylvia is often the only (and irritated) voice of reason and logic. In order to relate to her, it’s important to capture her frustration and pessimism while avoiding a voice that sounds too harsh or off-putting. Her sarcastic comments should be a source of comedy and not one of disdain.

Irritated/sarcastic: I told you, Wander, I told you this place looked like bad news! But did you listen? No, you were all (imitating Wander) “let’s go look at that neato skull ship! Maybe there’s nice folks there!” What about now? Think they’re nice now? Sarcastically complaining to self while kicking ass: Oh great the idiotic door won’t open when you push the flargin’ button <HYAAA! (kicks door down)> Well would you lookit that, a swarm of <ugh!> (punching) Watchdogs that want to <hng!> destroy me! <ug!> What’s this? THE GROP DERNED, SHIP IS EXPLODING!! HOORAY! Reluctantly giving in: Oh… all right, ya sappy bean pole. You can have ONE more—just stop it with those disgustingly adorable puppy dog eyes before I blorf. Nervous/apologetic: Heh heh. Sorry Lord Hater we’ll find it, promise! Heh, never knew skeletons could loose their skulls so easily, heh. Trying not to laugh: No, no, no, no, It’s not going to work. I don’t care how many hot dogs you can shove in you mout—SERIOUSLY, STOP IT, it’s not funny, IT’S NOT FUNNY!

Commander (Sergeant) Peepers

Sgt. Peeper’s could easily give Napoleon a run for his famous complex. Short, squishy and cute, Peepers would have taken over the universe well before his boss, Lord Hater, did, if it were not for his adorable stature. A brilliant tactician and a ruthless commander, it would have been easy—if only he could be taken seriously. His intelligence, penchant for engineering and inventing, along with his nasally, weasely voice and often nerdy demeanor doesn’t help. To compensate, Peepers has developed a MASSIVELY short temper. He can turn on you at a moment’s notice for only the slightest offense. In fact, he’s so quick to have a coronary, he comes across as cartoonishly bi‐polar. When he’s not on the verge of an aneurism from screaming, he may be calm and calculating, reflecting on the pleasantries of war making, and even congratulating his men on a job well done. The only being spared Peeper’s rage is Lord Hater. With much effort, Peeper’s manages to hold his tongue with his childish leader, holding his hand and coddling him even when he’s making the stupidest calls.

Sly/intimidating: Well, well, well if it isn’t Wander and Sylvia, Lord Hater and I have been looking for you two idiots for a very long time. Losing temper/having a coronary/Bi‐polar: (angry) WHAT?!! WHAT IS IT BOB!?! (to self) Unconquered Planet? How could that… Huh. Whattaya know ’bout that. Thought we got ‘em all. (maniacal) WELL WE’LL SURE TURN THEIR FROWNS UPSIDE DOWN!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Seething/trying to hold back temper: Yes, your… royal heinousness. I think that’s a… fantastic… idea. It sure is a good thing that you thought of it and… not… me… I am but your humble… stupid… servant. Commanding: Yes! That’s it my obedient Watch Dogs, that’s it! Keep on the lookout for anything you see that could threaten or strengthen our power!! See what you will see and report back to me and we will continue to be the most FEARED FORCE IN THE GALAXY!!

Lord Hater

Upon first meeting him, Lord Hater fulfills every expectation one would have of the universe’s most loathsome intergalactic overlord bent on total domination. Large, imposing and powerful. Terrifying, heartless and cruel. He wields a deep booming voice that inspires fear and terror in the souls of all who hear it. However, and quite surprisingly, should anyone manage to get under his non‐existent skin, they will find the snarky, entitled heart of an immature, tantrum‐throwing teenager—but with the same deep booming voice. As it turns out, Hater’s bid to take over the galaxy is fueled by a deep emotional need to feel important. Perhaps his mother didn’t love him enough. Perhaps he had an older brother who was a bully. Perhaps in high school the jocks picked on him and the cheerleaders laughed at him for being a walking skeleton—who knows? For certainly all those big, fat, mean jerks have been destroyed by now. Lord Hater’s acting will have to constantly switch between a very believable scourge of the universe to an equally believable (not mocking) overly sensitive, emo teenager. Villianous/self important: I AM LORD HATER!!! The most feared, evil ruler in all the galaxy!! I have mangled the minds of millions! I have tempted forth torrential tides of tears! I have crushed the courage of countless kings! I have reduced the richest of republics to rubble and ruin! And I have done all of this because I am the GREATEST IN ALL THE GALAXY!! Whiny/bratty/tantrum‐my: IT’S NOT FAIR!!! I should have won the trophy! I’m the GREATEST IN THE GALAXY!! You guys are just a bunch of… of… of MEANY MEANERSONS!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!! Irate/snotty: Seriously Peepers did you see that??!! I mean seriously, they like totally wrecked my ship. It’s ruined! I mean look at this. It’s totaled. I am so mad right now I could just scream!! Insecure/sensitive: Ah jeez, who am I kidding? I’m such a failure. Nobody fears me. Nobody loathes me. They’re just saying that to make me feel better. Grop, I’m such a loser. Evil Laugh: WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Found some early designs of Wander, Sylvia, Peepers and Lord Hater and I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS SO MUCH!!! 

I wonder if the actors read these when they were cast as the characters... 

These and the descriptions were all found on Wander News. 

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Intermission 1 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentioned/implied abuse; Pesterlogs, No seriously this entire chapter is just logs, swear the next chapters at least a third finished but in the meantime this bit got way out of hand so here 

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

— excerpt of chatlog from group chat “assholes anonymous” 6/13/2015 —

GG: And I’m afraid that’s all Roxy and I know. She got a call from Terezi yesterday saying that she would need to wait a few days before coming down to visit again.

GT: Holy toledo! Christ on a cracker i really picked a bad time to study abroad didnt i. So much happened while i was gone!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is online! —

GT: I feel like a right fool for not checking my messages from anyone while i was away but i was just so overwhelmed by how many there were and so tired out from being in another country and all.

GT: Oh!

TG: DIRK

TG: motherfucker tell me whats goin on!!!!

GG: There you are! Is everything alright?

TT: Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, give me a minute.

TT: Well. No. That’s wrong.

TT: Everything’s pretty much gone to shit, but everyone’s alive, somehow, and for the time being things have cooled the fuck off.

TG: aaaaaah now im even more scared what happened?!!

GT: Er its good to be back but the girls have been filling me in on whats played out in my absence and im afraid im on roxys side here what in the devilfucking dickens is going on exactly?

GG: Thirded!

TT: I take it you didn’t get around to reading the messages I sent you then, Jake?

TT: Which is fine. I kind of figured. Whatever.

TT: Short version: There was an attempt to reclaim Dave by some of the old man’s lackeys.

TT: An attempt which Dave knew about well in advance.

TG: oh shit

TG: oh shit dave nooooo D:

GG: Oh, goodness.

TT: I caught him having a panic attack in the kitchen, during the middle of the night on the twelfth. He managed to tell me essentially that we had four hours to prepare, and then we’d be under attack.

TT: He was planning on going with the quietly, apparently, but changed his mind at the last minute, I guess.

TT: Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he told us, but…Ugh.

TT: It seemed like he was starting to get a little better, finally, and then this huge fucking setback hits.

TT: It’s frustrating.

GT: I’ll say it is! Gosh dirk im so sorry i missed so much of the leadup to this.

GT: Getting the poor boy back after ten years only for him to be such a mess and to finally get somewhere only to lose so much progress…

TG: aaaaaaaugh

TG: i mean is it really a setback though? he still told you!

TG: ive been having the hardest time getting him to talk about anything that happened to him and i think he n i get on pretty well

TG: he still chose to stay with us!

TT: Yeah, and it only took him two fucking months to do so. I don’t even know if he made that choice because he actually wants to be here.

TT: It’s more like he just decided we’re the lesser of two evils.

GG: Well, that’s better than nothing, right?

TT: Ha.

TT: Sure, I guess. Pardon me if I’m not thrilled, though.

TG: diiiiiirk

TG: dirk chill out a little like i get it but seriously!

TG: trust me dave doesnt want to be mean to anybody

TT: Of course he doesn’t.

TT: I’m not mad at Dave at all, don’t get me wrong.

TT: This is my fault.

GT: Now wait just a moment there strider!

GG: How on Earth is any of this your fault? It sounds to me like you made the best of a bad situation! Dave’s the only one who knew about this!

TT: It all goes back to that first meeting at the police station.

TT: I set the precedent. Made everything a him-versus-us, with Karkat his only ally.

TT: He doesn’t trust us because I somehow said exactly the wrong thing to him back in that interrogation room.

TG: im sure thats not it

TG: dirk hes not one to hold a grudge like you and rose are theres gotta be another reason

TT: I’d be happy to hear it, then, because I’m fucking clueless.

TT: Of all the problems I’ve tried to solve, my own fucking brother is proving the most enigmatic.

TT: He’s the fucking labyrinth at Crete, and I don’t have nearly enough fucking yarn to get through this.

TT: And apparently I’m a fucking outlier in that respect. Roxy’s figured Dave out, the fucking aliens get along with him fine, and apparently even Rose made up with him while my back was turned, because he’s been following her around all day, even though she ripped into him yesterday over Kanaya.

TT: Who, by the way, is a fucking vampire now. I feel like I’m losing brain cells just writing that, but there it is.

TT: I’m sharing the house with a literal alien vampire. I’m officially one of the side characters in my aunt’s trashy books.

TG: dirk dude im telling you dave isnt as complicated as you keep making him out to be!

TG: hes not a puzzle that needs to be solved hes just a scared kid!

TT: Why is he still scared, then? Why?

TT: I believe you, but how do I make him be not scared?

TT: Why the fuck can’t I understand my own brother!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is offline —

GG: Oh no.

GT: Jesus jumping jehosaphat!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is online —

TT: Sorry.

TT: Got a little too worked up, hit my desk hard enough that something came unplugged.

TG: dirk

TG: dirk.

TG: holy shit.

TT: I’m, uh, also sorry that I actually hit enter on those last few posts. That was kind of shitty. I’ll get a lid on it.

GT: You gave us all quite a fright there!

GG: I’ll say.

GG: You shouldn’t feel bad, though! I for one am glad you were honest!

GG: Maybe we can all figure out something! If Rose got things sorted out after the rocky start you mentioned, then I’m sure you can, too!

TG: have you tried talkin to him yet

TT: Oh, yeah, because talking to him went so well last time.

TT: Look, I appreciate the advice. But at this point,

TT: I’m pretty much prepared to just accept that he wants nothing to do with me.

TT: Can’t really blame him. I look like the old man. Probably set off enough bad memories that I’m just going to scare him worse.

TT: I’ll just stay out of his way as best I can.

TG: dirk that is literally the exact opposite of what you should be doing

GT: Well i dont know roxy it might work out better that way.

GT: Give the lad his space and let him settle in on his own time!

GT: Let the air clear a bit before trying anything you know?

TG: jake trust me dave needs a lot of really explicit verbal reassurance

TG: he is the scaredest fucking kid you can imagine okay

TG: he apologizes for things that arent even things that should be apologized for

TG: and says hes sorry again even after you tell him hes done nothing wrong just to be extra sure

TG: and he wont do anything unless you specifically tell him hes allowed

TG: and even then hes super cautious about it

GG: Gosh…

TT: Exactly.

TT: If he’s that scared, me forcing him into a conversation is only going to make things worse. It’s not going to be a productive talk if he’s completely shut down.

TT: I’ll figure it out, alright? Just.

TT: I need to rethink things, maybe. Slow down a little.

TT: It’s just a setback. We’ll recover.

TG: uuuuugh

TG: this whole things such a mess :(

TG: let me know when im allowed to come over and hug on him again will you?

TT: Sure thing.

TG: hug him yourself in the meantime!

TT: Probably not a great idea, Rox.

TG: >:(

— excerpt of chatlog from group chat “who you gonna call” 6/13/2015 —

EB: geez. thats pretty crazy.

EB: i cant believe dave would put you guys all in danger like that.

GG: im sure he didnt mean to!

TT: I agree, actually, Jade.

GG: :0 !!!

EB: really?

TT: I spoke to Dave after all the carnage ended, and I’ve come to realize that I’ve been completely misinterpreting his behavior.

TT: I’ve been viewing everything he does through the lens of my own behavior and Dirk’s, and assuming that everything he did which irritated me was done out of some form of antagonism.

TT: Yesterday, I learned exactly how far off I’ve been, and I’d like to apologize for sharing that mistaken impression with you two.

TT: The problem hasn’t been that Dave is holding some petty grudge. It’s that he’s been scared.

GG: :(

GG: :( :( :(

EB: scared? dave?

TT: Terrified, even.

TT: He was literally so frightened when I confronted him that he could barely move.

GG: oh no! rose!

TT: I apologized, I promise, and I’ve been trying to reign myself in around him now that I know there is fear at foot.

TT: I’m a little horrified myself, frankly, at how bad things must be for him.

EB: but if hes so scared why didn’t he just tell you guys sooner?

TT: He’s scared both ways, essentially. Terrified of what we’ll do to him if he breaks some rule here, terrified of what our father will do to him.

TT: I had expected trauma from the beginning, but when it didn’t present in the ways I expected, I assumed he was just fine.

TT: But this is…

TT: It’s as if his fear responses, even his fight or flight reflex, are just…broken.

TT: Like I said, when I confronted him, his eyes were huge and terrified, but he made no move to defend himself, nor did he try to escape. He just…braced himself. Readying himself for a blow that I had no intention of ever delivering, but which he dreaded more with every second it didn’t come.

TT: Ever since, I’ve been paying attention to his body language, since it’s so hard to read his expressions when he’s got those sunglasses on, and I’ve noticed so many times where he tenses up, so suddenly and to such an extreme that I’m surprised it doesn’t physically hurt him.

TT: And it’s not just for legitimate potential threats, like someone looking angry. He does it for the slightest sounds, for random movements, sometimes seemingly for no reason at all.

TT: Hes like some feral animal, constantly thinking he’s going to be hunted, and yet, he can’t run. He just sits there and waits for the blow to land, hoping that if he simply takes whatever punishment is thrown on him, it will end sooner.

TT: And all I can think is just…

TT: What kind of hell has he been through for these past ten years that he reacts to things as simple as a creaking floorboard or a waving hand makes him think he’s going to be attacked?

TT: What did that son of a bitch do to my brother?

EB: jesus.

GG: D:

EB: i always knew that things were bad for dave but i didnt think it was any where near that bad!

GG: hes not in too much trouble is he??

TT: Not at all.

TT: Terezi let him off with a warning, and there’s not much else we can do to him, besides. He’s already under house arrest.

TT: He knows what he did wrong.

GG: thats good! i wonder why he waited so long to tell the truth though?

TT: I’m pretty sure at this point that he was never intending on telling us.

EB: what! why not!

TT: I don’t think he believes he has a choice. He did tell Dirk what happened while having a panic attack, after all. I suspect it may have been something similar to the sort of terror that strikes when you realize it’s the end of a vacation period from school, and you’re not ready to go back yet.

TT: Except, you know, way worse, on account of it being abuse at the hands of a literal terrorist he would have to return to.

TT: He said something that stuck with me, when I asked, and he seemed very genuinely sad when he said it.

TT: “It doesn’t matter what I want. He’s going to come back for me again.”

TT: He’s so resigned to a fate that he is not actually doomed to.

EB: wow :(

TT: But on the bright side,

TT: I think he’s starting to realize that we really aren’t going to hurt him.

GG: yeah?

TT: He’s been following me around like a lost puppy all day. He jumps whenever I move too quickly, but he’s actually here in the room with Kanaya and I right now. The two of them have been chatting on and off for a while.

TT: I suspect it may be just that he hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to Karkat yet, but even so, he seems like he’s testing a boundary.

TT: Pushing to see if I really am no longer angry with him. It’s certainly a welcome change from his usual habit of hiding in his own bedroom.

GG: oh gosh!! can you tell him i said hi?

EB: holy shit hes right with you? get him online!

TT: John, he’s not allowed to use a computer, remember?

EB: fuck!

EB: tell him i said hi too, then!

GG: looool

TT: Done.

TT: He lit up a little, and mumbled a “Hi” right back.

GG: :D

EB: lol, dork.

TT: He says “This coming from John ‘unironically likes Nick fucking Cage’ Egderp.”

EB: >:B !!!!

— golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] —

GT: Hey, um.

GT: I know this is probably not something you really want to hear just now, but i really do want to apologize.

GT: I just got so distracted and worn out while abroad, and you always send so damned many messages, i didnt have the energy to read them all.

TT: It’s fine.

GT: No it isnt! Dirk i know how hugely important getting dave home has been to you ive known for ages!

GT: And whatever tumultuous relationship status we may currently be sharing youre still my best bro and i feel like a right horse’s arse for not being here for you during such a rollercoaster of a rough time!

TT: It’s alright, really. I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s wholly unnecessary.

GT: I promise ill at least try and check my messages more and keep more up to date on the situation.

GT: Let me know if theres any way i can help alright?

TT: Sure.

TT: Welcome home, by the way. It’s nice to talk to you again.

GT: Likewise!

— twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA] —

TA: TZ told me two me22age you, and by that ii mean 2he woke me up wiith a text 2aying ‘talk two kanaya a2ap a22hole 2hit2 gone down’.

TA: 2o what exactly ii2 goiing on.

GA: Um

GA: Well Im A Rainbow Drinker Now

TA: oh.

TA: you know what actually fuck thii2 iim goiing back two 2leep.

— twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA] —