#A lot tbh and i still don’t think i got it all correct so please excuse any errors

[kill-the-feels]

terminal

a/n: a few lil life updates before this chapter: i graduated and passed my edtpa! i also started dating my best friend, which has been so much fun and inspired a lot of fluffy writing (not this chapter tho, y’all stay safe). anyways, i hope you enjoy the chapter!! we’ve finally caught up to That Scene™️ in the movie — you’re just going to have to trust me on this one ;) (previous part) (masterlist)

word count: ~3.5k

warnings: canon violence, language, angst (a whole truckload this time)

Despite the relentless pursuit of the Jedi, the three of you make it to Geonosis relatively unscathed, even after a chase through an asteroid field.

Jango lands in an underground hangar, the top closing and cutting off your view of the night sky. He and Boba run through the checklist of shutting off the ship before he turns to look at you.

“I’m going to check on stuff in the cargo bay,” Boba says. You raise an eyebrow at his back. There’s nothing in the cargo bay. He glances back at you, and you see the little smirk there.

You and Jango sit in silence.

“If something happens to me,” Jango says, at the same time you say:

“Are we really safe here?”

The both of you pause.

“Go first,” you tell him, and he hesitates, looking past your shoulder to the doorway, as if willing Boba to reappear.

“If something happens to me, I want you to take Boba and get as far away from here as you can.” The way he says it is strange, like he’s trying to tell you something, without actually telling you something.

“What’s going to happen to you?” you ask, making a face and Jango sets his jaw, fixing you with a hard stare.

“If something happens to me. Expect the best, but plan for the worst,” he says softly, in such a monotone voice it sends chills down your spine.

“Alright. Okay. So where do we go?” He sighs.

“Anywhere. Not here. Not Kamino. Not fucking Tatooine. Never go back there.” The last part is said with such vehemence you can’t help but nod.

“Yeah, not there. We’ll figure it out. If it comes to that. Which it won’t.” You’re expecting him to agree, and when he doesn’t, the knot of nerves tangled under your breastbone tightens.

You start to stand, to go find Boba, and Jango snags your hand, says your name softly.

You turn, and he’s looking up at you so intently it makes you weak in the knees.

“Promise me, Cyare,” he says softly, tugging you back down beside him. He rests his forehead against your, your breaths mingling.

“Jango,” you say, “it’s going to be okay. Things will be fine.” You try to pull away again, and he tightens his hold, almost desperate.

“Promise me.” You close your eyes. If you truly believe nothing is going to happen to him, then this should be an easy promise.

“Fine. Yes, okay, I promise. I’ll look after Boba.” Jango shakes his head.

“Not just look after him. You’re as much his buir as I am. You two belong together. Promise me you’ll stay with him. Protect him. Protect each other.” He’s really starting to scare you. You put your hands on either side of his face, leaning into him.

“Jango, I promise,” you say. His eyes stay closed for another beat, before he nods and tugs himself away.

“Stay in the ship?” he asks. “I shouldn’t be long.” Something in you tells you to argue. His tone is off-kilter again, too bright for the heavy moment.

But there’s something in his eyes that prevents you from arguing as he snags his helmet and starts to slip it on his head.

So you match his tone.

“No problem. Boba and I will figure out where we go next. For when you get back.” His response takes just a bit too long in coming. Like he knows the next words out of his mouth are a lie, and at the last minute, he decides to commit, instead of being honest and telling you he likely won’t be with you when you leave.

“Sounds like a plan.” With that, he tugs his helmet all the way down, ducking out the door and heading out. You watch him go, feeling the sick sense of dread increasing with every step he puts between you two. ~~~ Boba is, understandably, livid that he has to stay on the ship.

“This fucking sucks,” he says, crossing him arms and kicking his feet up on the dash.

“Boba!” you say in shock, at a loss over what to say to him. It’s the first time you’ve heard him swear — other than his first words — and while a teeny part of you is amused, the bigger part is frustrated with his attitude.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “But I don’t get why we have to stay here, again. I helped Buir get us off Kamino. And it’s not like the ship is that much safer.” He has a point. But still.

“I know,” you say. “But your buir asked us to stay here. So we help him out by staying here.” There’s a distant rumble somewhere, that rattles the ship a little.

“Can’t we explore? Just a little?” he asks, and you laugh.

“You’re probably not old enough to remember, but one time your buir took the both of us to Tatooine.” Boba leans forward, slipping his feet back down. You’re not sure why you’re thinking about Tatooine so much all of the sudden. Maybe there’s a parallel to be found between both trips. Whatever it is, you don’t like it.

“And? What happened?” Boba asks, interrupting your thoughts. You sigh, brushing some hair off his face. He bats you away with a playful scowl.

“We got caught. Nearly got the both of us in big trouble. Your buir managed to come rescue us, but he was pissed. And all because we wanted to go exploring.” He looks down.

“Maybe we shouldn’t go exploring this time then,” he says, looking sheepish. You knock your shoulder against his.

“Y’think?” you say. He knocks back and the two of you end up in a playful shoving war that lasts for just long enough for Boba to remember why he was frustrated in the first place.

“I hate waiting,” he says, going still and slumping down again. You sigh and join him in staring out the window.

“I know. It fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” It’s his turn to look at you in shock.

“Buir!” he says. You close your eyes and tilt your head back against the seat, pretending like you’re about to take a nap.

Instead, you crack one eye open at him.

“Maybe we can take just a peek out. We won’t leave the ship, just open the door and see what we can hear.” In truth, you’re as bad as he is as waiting. Boba shifts in his seat, nearly holding his breath, as he waits to see if you’re lying.

“Really?” You nod.

“Yes, really.” There’s a slight smirk on his face, the same one Jango always has right before he does something potentially dangerous, but in that moment, you fail to notice it.

Instead, you follow Boba down the ladder and through the cargo bay, aiming for the panel on the side, so you can lower the ramp just a bit.

“How long do you think Buir will be?” Boba asks, as he sorts through some of the excess junk stored in the bottom of the ship. You stop the ramp before it gets low enough to walk out — or in. Peering through the sides will have to do.

“Not sure. Could be all day. Maybe even all night. We’re supposed to figure out where we’re going from here.” Boba slips up beside you.

“How are we supposed to know where to go?” You shrug.

“We can always look at the ship’s database, see which places look off the grid.” Boba looks past you, at the barren wall of the canyon you’ve landed in.

“Good point. Hey, Buir, have you seen Ai-Ai anywhere?” A glance at Boba’s face shows you the true worry he feels, at odds with his casual tone. A tone that nearly makes you suspicious.

“You packed him, didn’t you?” you ask, turning away from the gap, poking back through the random collections of stuff. Boba doesn’t answer you, and when you hear shifting around, you take it to mean he’s looking for the beloved stuffed pet.

“Boba?” you finally call. “You packed him, right?” When you turn around, he’s gone.

You close your eyes, mentally berating yourself. The gap in the side. Just big enough for him to slip through. Always wanting to be a hero, to be strong like his buir.

“Shit,” you say, frozen with indecision. To go after him? Or stay, and wait? Which is better? ~~~ Jango is standing in the middle of the command center, listening to Dooku run his mouth about things he really has no care for, when the door whooshes open and two battle droids enter, hauling Boba between them.

His gut reaction is fear — if Boba is here, where are you? Then Boba sees him, and Jango sees the guilt flash over his face.

The little sneak ran off, he realizes, which means you must be panicking.

“Boba,” he says sternly. Boba hangs his head further, and with a wave from Dooku, the droids release him, letting him come stand beside Jango.

While he needs to get Boba back to you, he also can’t risk drawing attention to you. Not only does he not want to put you in danger, but you’re a fantastic weak spot for the Separatists surrounding him to exploit. Boba will just have to stay with him, until he can make his escape. He’ll try and comm you when he gets a chance, let you know Boba is safe. Ish.

Another droid approaches Dooku and says something too soft for Jango to make out. His unease grows. Something is happening. Dooku was none to pleased with Jango’s failure to kill the senator, and he’s worried about potential retaliation.

“It appears we have quite the show in store today,” Dooku says to him, gesturing to the balcony on the other side of the room.

Carefully, Jango escorts Boba outside, placing himself to the side of Dooku and the representatives for the Trade Federation, aware of every little movement, nerves stretched thin in a way that’s giving him a pounding migraine.

“What’s going on, Buir?” Boba whispers, and Jango tightens his hold on his shoulder, warning the boy not to speak too much. He’s trying to plan, trying to come up with an extraction. And it’s markedly more difficult to get out with Boba, than if he were by himself.

For now, he has to stay put. Has to watch for the opportune moment to make his escape. ~~~ Pressing your hands against your forehead to try and ease the stress headache growing with every moment Boba isn’t in your sight, you take deep breaths.

Okay. Okay.

Plan.

If you were Jango, what would you do? Go after Boba, but how, where, and for how long? You know there’s droids patrolling — you closed the ramp of the ship after a particularly curious set tried to come in. They got bored and left, but there’s got to be more where they came from.

This is a million times worse than Gardulla and her thugs — getting caught here could catapult you into the middle of a conflict you’re entirely unprepared for, with players much more important than a gangster in the middle of a wasteland.

So you have to figure out where on this maker-forsaken planet Boba got off to, and you have to do it stealthily.

No big scenes, no getting caught.

You have your little blade that Jango replaced, a blaster from his munitions locker. No armor or a jet pack, but you’re crafty and easily missed. Just keep your head down and blend in.

With another deep breath, you pull up the ship’s nav system and scanner, trying to piece together a path to take.

Geonosis is full of fucking tunnels. Just your luck. But there’s a city, or at least a concentration of settlements near where the ship’s been put down. That’ll be your start.

Deep breath.

You lower the ramp enough to slip out of, the same way Boba did, then start to pick your way towards the city.

The closer you get, the more a faint rumbling reaches your ears. As you navigate down a tunnel, ears straining for any hint you’re not alone, you realize the rumbling is cheering.

Okay.

Crowds can both work for and against you. Easier to blend in, harder to find Boba. The tunnel opens up on the left side, forming a half-wall, and you can see you’re over top of a battle arena. Your legs wobble a little, looking down at the sheer drop to the arena.

Across from you is a balcony, with a large congregation of people watching the scene unfolding beneath you. The stands are filled with Geonosians, each speaking in their clicking and rolling language, shouting jeers and cheering for the coming violence.

Someone on the balcony moves, and you see a flash of blue next to a glint of metal.

Jango. And Boba.

In the arena, three figures are chained to pillars, watching as three different creatures are prodded out of cages by Geonosians.

You feel pity for the three, but your bigger issue is getting to Jango and Boba. Briefly, you consider going back to the ship, now that you know Jango has Boba, but there’s a clatter of stone behind you and the tell-tell clicks, forcing you to move forward or risk being discovered and ending up with the others on the pillars.

Following the winding tunnel proves to be discombobulating, even as you try to navigate in the direction of the balcony. But the half-wall turns back into a full wall, and you can feel yourself descending, heading the opposite direction, with no cross tunnels to right yourself.

Frustrated, you grit your teeth and force yourself to stop and take stock of your options.

The cheering has reached a near-fevered pitch. In the distance, a single Geonosian speaks, the rolling cadence of his language muffled, but distinct against the cheers.

You turn back around. Going down will do you no good. You’ll have to backtrack and hope for the best. Head back for the ship and be ready to leave.

Footsteps shuffle down the hall, and you freeze, spotting a dip in the wall. You slip in and tuck yourself into the shadows, pressing as deep into the dirt as you can.

Two droids pass you, both armed with blasters. With a shiver, you dart behind them, racing back up the tunnel. You stumble as you reach the half-wall, nearly tripping over your own feet. The three figures are fighting back, one of them on top of the pillar. There’s shouting and chaos, and people jeering as the three hold their own.

Across the way, there is a sudden flash of purple, pointed straight at Jango’s neck.

You freeze, watching as he pushes Boba behind him. Around the arena, more lightsabers are activated, the bright blues and greens vivid against he stark landscape of the Geonosian arena.

“No,” you breathe, fingers clenching in fists at your sides. Not like this. Gasping, you continue back the way you came, frantically trying to map the city in your head. The central point. That’s where you need to be, to every try to get to that balcony. Jango said they’d be looking for him. But like this? He doesn’t stand a chance on his own, and you know he’s too prideful to ever back down on his own.

Back past the ship you race, towards a dirt road you initially discounted as heading away from everything.

But as you head down the road, you can see it’s taking you into the city, on ground level. You can work with this.

No longer caring if you’re noticed, you race along, weaving in and out of crowds of Geonosians, who voice their displeasure at being jostled. In the distance, the spires of the large buildings around the arena rise up. You’re on the right track.

Blaster fire echoes on the breeze, still too far to be much of a concern for the people who don’t know what’s going on in the arena.

But you know.

And you’re running out of time. ~~~ Jango can feel his pulse vibrating against his teeth, even as he takes a measured breath. Boba shivers beside him, and Jango glances out of the corner of his eye at the man wielding the lightsaber.

He speaks to Dooku, discounting Jango, which works in his favor. But he can’t make a move with the blade inches from his neck. Slowly, his hand creeps to his blaster, steady, despite the fear threatening to choke him.

In the distance, he hears the thump of battle droid feet, signaling the massive battle about to break out. The Geonosians start to fly away, and to his horror, he sees other lightsabers that have lit up across the way, far more than he can fight against, in addition to the two in the arena.

From the corner of his eye, he can see a small footpath, leading through the stands to a balcony attached to another room. Boba needs to get in there, he knows, so he’s shielded from any blasterfire.

And you. He still needs to warn you.

Battle droids are one thing, but a Jedi is nothing to mess with, and they’ll be after him. It’s only a matter of time before they locate the ship, if they haven’t already, and you won’t know they’re coming.

“It’s over, Dooku,” the Jedi says, and Jango takes another measured breath, looking down just enough to meet Boba’s eyes. Carefully, he looks pointedly behind Boba, to the other room. Boba looks at Jango, brow scrunched in confusion, and Jango swallows his frustration.

With another long glance behind Boba, he looks at his son again, pleading with him to understand. Boba can warn you too. If he can just get away.

Boba nods, finally, just once. Jango draws himself forward, putting himself between everyone and Boba, drawing the attention to himself in a practiced way.

The thumping of battle droid feet gets louder, and he feels Boba duck away behind him, as the first set of droids steps out onto the balcony. The Jedi removes his lightsaber from Jango’s neck, as the droids start to shoot at the Jedi. Jango snatches out his own blaster, noting the way in which Dooku steps back to let him handle the Jedi.

Disgust has him crinkling his nose, but he focuses on trying to down the Jedi, switching to his flamethrower when the Jedi manages to slip away, out of his reach.

With a huff, he flicks his blaster around before he holsters it. Dooku is still watching him, and he knows he’s expected to go after the Jedi, but he needs to ensure Boba has plenty of time to get away before Dooku even thinks about him.

So he’ll perform tricks to buy some time.

Without much more thought, he follows the Jedi down, off the balcony and into the heat of the battle. His blood pumps and he finds himself calculating escape routes even as he works his way through the Jedi and the creatures, aiming for the purple lightsaber, the lone one against the blues and greens.

With one last, quick glance back at the balcony, he sees the way Dooku stands over it all, seemingly unbothered by all the chaos and death around him.

“Forgive me,” he whispers, praying to the maker he no longer believes in that you hear him, that you find Boba, that you both get away.

The Reek slams into him, and he feels something in his ribs give way, as he’s tumbled over and over, head slammed around in his helmet until his ears ring.

When he manages to extricate himself, his whole body hurts, and his jet pack — already the back-up — is shot to shit. His blaster is in the dirt and he manages to grab it, just as the Jedi comes for him, waving his saber all around, a purple blur that’s too bright, too hot, too close.

Fear grips his mind, instinct flees him, even as he stands his ground.

Ten feet away. Seven. Five. Two.

Jango fires as quickly as he can, even as his mind races, telling him to run, telling him he can’t run, begging Boba to look away. To know how sorry he is.

He sees the swing of the saber, feels the blinding hot fire as it cuts through his hand, leaving nothing behind. Watches as the Jedi swings around again, this time for his neck.

Jango closes his eyes, even as he promises to meet death with them wide open.

Instead, all he sees is your face, you extending a hand to him.

He does not feel the next blow fall. ~~~ You burst onto a balcony at the height of the battle, and nearly turn, because this one is empty, and not the one you’re looking for.

It’s taken too much precious time to sneak past the droids — Geonosians leave you alone, battle droids do not — and everything is in full swing by the time you get there.

And then you see a small figured crouched in the shadows, watching it all go down.

You rush towards him, intending to tug him away, to get him to safety.

Instead, the both of you watch Jango fall.

[ilovejungwonandhaechan]

a little knack — yjw pt. 1

pairing: acadmic rival!jungwon x academic rival!reader

🎧 - earned it by the weeknd

note: jungwon is the student council president and the salutatorian (2nd rank) and reader is the valedictorian (1st rank). there's just a lot of tension in between them tbh

a/n: first fic!! not proofread bc i'm lazy lol i feel like i'm manifesting being sal or val at school #academicweapon??

wc: 624

fic under the cut!

jungwon is focused on some paperwork in the student council room. he is wearing headphones, jamming his favorite song at the moment when he suddenly looks up to the person by the door. upon seeing you, he sighs loudly, pausing his music before looking at you unamused.

“bitch, what was that reaction?”

jungwon arches an eyebrow as his earphones dangle on his neck. “wow. language, please.”

“oh, yes, dearest student council president. i will do anything you say because you’re an elite. my lord and savior.” you giggle as you spew sarcastic words out of your mouth.

“watch your tongue. i might get used to you calling me ‘dear' and ‘lord’ all the time.” jungwon’s slight smirk turns into a mocking grin upon hearing your sarcastic response. he puts down the pen he had been holding and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

“you wish, bitch.” upon hearing you emphasize the word ‘bitch’ like that, jungwon’s amused attitude slowly starts to change: his jaw muscles twitch and he narrows his eyes at you. jungwon lets out an annoyed huff, clearly frustrated. he studies you for a moment, his gaze intense.

“you know what? i’ve had enough of your attitude.” he stands up from his chair and walks around the desk to stand right in front of you.

“why? are you sad you only got a 98 on the bio test while i got a perfect score? oh, poor, poor jungwon.” you said as you challenged him by walking closer.

jungwon grits his teeth at your words, obviously upset by hearing you flaunt your higher academic standing. his eyes darken while his gaze burns into yours. “oh, you think you’re so clever, huh? is that your way of trying to get under my skin? your attititude is irritating. you think you’re better than everyone else.”

you take a step closer to him and send him a wink and a smug smile. “oh, honey… being valedictorian means i am better than everyone else.”

“you really think you can mess with me like this, don’t you? with your damn smirk and smart talk?" he takes another step forward, closing the distance between you guys. your chests are almost touching. jungwon’s jaw clenches after seeing your wink and smile. he’s trying to keep his cool, but you’re really testing his limits.

“well, yes because that’s what i’m doing right now, am i not?” you take another step forward.

he takes another step forward. “i think you like seeing me mad. i think you like the effect you have on me.” he mutters through clenched teeth with his minty breath fanning your face.

“correction: i like the effects. plural.” 

jungwon’s heart skips a beat after hearing your correction, and the smirk on your face drives him over the edge. he reaches forward and grabs your shoulders, pushing you backward until your back is pressed up the wall. “you’re enjoying this, aren't you?”

“you stand corrected because you clearly like this more than i do. of course, you would like the thought of someone catching us like this and getting all the wrong ideas, wouldn’t you?”

jungwon’s chest is pressed against yours. his body traps you against the wall. he’s breathing heavily from frustration, and his expression is still angry with a hint of something else. “and what if i do? what if i like the thought of someone seeing us like this?”

you lean in and whisper in his ear, “then it’s clear what kind of effects i really have on you.” you smirk at him, push him off, and exit the room confidently.

he lets out a frustrated sigh. running a hand through his hair, he mutters under his breath, “damn it."

read part two here!

[cranberry-writes]

hii i love ur writing!!! ik youve just answered a hughie ask but i love him and how u write him sm, could i please rq sorta general hcs w him having a lil crush on someone whose sweet and confident, if a little vain? if possible, id love it to specifically be a male reader whose significantly taller than him. thank you!

Hughie Headcannons

Ahhhh love this rq!!! There are almost no male reader stories or headcannons so it’s nice to do them.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ANY REQUEST! (If you aren’t sure look at my pinned!”

Also i’m like 5’ 5” so my writing about a tall person is definitely not correct 😞

Warnings; (Very) Mild Spoilers for season 2&3 and cannon typical language

- Hughies already a tall guy, 6’ 1” (185 centimeters) so being taller than him is something he didn’t really expect

- Tbh he thinks you’re standing on something when he first sees you, but he does a double take and is like ‘Oh shit’

- The second thing he thinks when he meets you is ‘..how?’

- You’re not sunshine and rainbows vomiting kittens or anything, but your a lot more upbeat and kinder than the others there

- “Cool Billy Joel shirt, you got a favorite song?” “Yeah actually, (i know nothing about billy joel) is my favorite.”

- He really assumed that everyone was going to be dickish off the batt but apparently not

- He’s happy he don’t feel like his life is in danger with everyone when he first gets introduced

- He’s also happy someone *cough* isn’t calling him a cunt every 5 minutes

- When he first notices the the vaguely vain behavior, it annoys him a bit (in reality it’s more of jealousy, he wishes he could have faith in himself like you do) but once he sees you in action he understands, working with The Boys is hard, dealing with supes is hard.

- It also kinda scared him a bit, he really didn’t want to think you where an asshole

- Honestly the fact that your alive after everything gives you a pretty decent reason to be a tad vain in his mind

- With your confidence+sweetness he’s not sure if he wants to be you or be with you

- He soon realizes it’s mostly attraction a bit admiration

- I headcannon that he is so insanely bisexual it’s crazy, so being with a dude isn’t something he has to really work through or convince himself of

- Like he just grew up knowing and never really questioned or cared about it

- But he doesn’t realize he actually has a crush on you untill later in the series, maybe around late season two after LampLighter happens. (i feel like that kinda made him realize some stuff about himself)

- But he takes WAY longer to actually try and make a move on you

- like start of season four is when he even starts to make a move

- But he’s got that nerdy white boy thing and chances are you ask him out first

- You totally break out all the stocks, flowers, candy, stuff like that

- He is flattered, flustered, and scared

- Unlike Starlight you don’t have powers, and while you are amazing at your job he’s still scared that you’ll become a bigger target because of his affiliation with Homelander and Newman.

- But honestly we all saw how he literally stood up to Homelander when he insulted Starlight, once yall are in a relationship he ain’t backing down for shit (Unless you ask, he’s very respectful of boundaries)

- okay i’m circling back to the height thing,

- he would enjoy it a LOT

- He’s always been the taller one in relationships, it was nice to switch it up a bit.

- He also enjoys how someone else can share the struggles of being tall with him

- (small stupid thing but if yall move in together you have one hell of a time finding a bed that actually fits)

- Because of how tall you both are it’s easy to find one another in crowds, Hughie really likes that fact (he’s scared that if he can’t find you then something horrible has happened to you)

- Butcher pokes fun at both of you but in the dumbest ways imaginable

- “Ere’ come the fucken’ inflatable tube couple.”

Watch me make an actual fic about this

[hope-drunk]

begging you to expand on your abby and doggy punishment perspective 🙏🏼

HSJFDNF i'll probably write a full fic about it when i have time tbh... AND i wanna say it's definitely one of those self indulgent fantasies bc i don't really care for doggy, so...

sex with abby is so intense and in the moment like i truly believe she just loves seeing you, watching all your expressions and kissing you. and you love seeing her, and she knows it. knows you love the intimacy of it, love staring into her eyes and watching her lips move as she praises you. love watching her big hands grab your hips, seeing her hair come undone in real time.

so i think using doggy as a form of punishment is such a big thing for her. she knows it works a lot better with actually correcting your actions. like sure she can spank you and degrade you, but at the end of the day that just turns you on. if she removes the intimacy that you crave it'll get your attitude corrected real quick.  

of course the sex is still enjoyable, but it is a punishment to remove the main things you love about having sex with abby.

maybe you've had an attitude all day, and abby's just not having it. she's already stressed about a supply run, and she just wants to come home and see her girlfriend being good for her, ready to offer her support. but you just complain about her being gone, complain about the food, about the clogged drain in your joint shower, just stuff she hasn't had time to deal with.

and she knows you're only acting up for attention, only acting up because she's been gone, but it still pisses her off.

so she does what she usually does. starts giving you soft sweet kisses all over, lays you down on the bed and trails them down your stomach, rubs your clit through your cotton panties. when she thinks you're worked up enough, when you're deep enough into your submission, she goes and gets the strap. you're buzzing all over, so excited to be fucked by your girlfriend who's been depraving you lately.

but when she comes back, strap adorning her waist, she gives you a quick, "hands and knees, kid."

and you just look up at her, tears already brimming your eyes because was this always a punishment? when did it switch to a punishment? 

“but– abby. no, wanna see you.” you try to reason.

“been giving me fucking attitude since i got home, i don’t really care what you want. c’mon, roll over.”

and when you don’t immediately move to your stomach, she’s doing it for you. flipping you over and yanking your hips up with ease. when she fills you up with the silicone cock you’re already crying. 

“please, m’sorry. didn’t mean to be bad. please, abby.”

she just laughs at your tears, fucks you impossibly harder; your hips slamming back onto hers. she knew this was what you needed, she’s always ready to remind you who’s actually in charge.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your true colors - (4/7) Green"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color green, the fourth of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

green is the color of healing, balance, peace, abundance, hope, money, growth, love, connection, surrender, trust (heart chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

you can find the other colors' readings in the pacs list in my pinned post

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

It feels like you've been waiting for something for a lot of time now. It could be love or connections, it could be a good stable career (and income), it could be also "feeling healed". About this last point let me add this reminder that healing is about finding a way to react in an healthier way to your possible triggers (yes, there may still be some here and there, but it doesn't mean you're not succeeding at what you do: pay attention to how differently you are reacting compared with the past. Maybe you are not spiralling so easily as before or maybe you're recognizing what's behind your trigger: that's a sign you're doing your healing right. I know it feels like it's never ending, but the moment you'll find a balance and not let yourself get discouraged by each fallback you may encounter, that's the moment you'll understand for real what I -well, many psychologists- mean. Take it slow). I feel you may even get envious of others having (apparently/easily) what you are trying so hard to obtain but seem to not be able to. You may be comparing yourself with others too (please, don't... you're your own type of special, don't lose sight of this truth). I think your heart is also suggesting you to calm down and wait, to not be too impatient. You are a very loving, kind, gentle soul, and ofc you (even unconsciously) feel like you deserve something back (you indeed do!!) but... it seems you're getting the absence of positive immediate signs (or even supposedly slightly negative signs -which may be just tests or corrections in your journey) as a huge NO from Universe. Tbh the more you keep asking for a sign, for something tangible, the more you are giving space for uncertainty and self doubts and ruining your manifestations (not saying it's not human at all, we all go there and it's okay. But try to stay as much as you can connected with your positivity, without avoiding paying attention to the negative side of your life: nobody wants toxic positivity ofc). I think you are asked to give yourself time and space. To enjoy the show, somehow (even if yes, it may sound bittersweet at first but it's more like... "let things flow/go", trust).

You may also not be giving your heart the right time and space to heal something. Or you're not paying real attention to something: maybe you feel you have healed your problem and got over it but it's not entirely so: you may even get dreams or other impulses from your mind about this. Our minds tend to recall what our hearts haven't healed fully, so if you think/dream about someone or something and it makes you overwhelmed or nervous/scared, chances are you need to still work on that a little more to get over it and leave space for new and better things to come. You are someone who rarely gives up but ofc, as every human does, sometimes you may feel disheartened. We all have dark periods when things get harder: when these happens try to reconnect with your heart (and take care of it, maybe putting your hands over your heart chakra and sending it love could help you too). You are such an hopeful and positive (maybe with others more than yourself... try to include yourself too) and also an abundant person, you just need to remind this yourself and put this type of energy into the Universe, so that the magic can happen and you can get more. Keep believing in your abilities and in yourself. And that you deserve so much more. I think the Universe is giving you some kind of feeling in this sense, like your intuition may be telling you to not give up to the dark but to just be patient a bit more (despite those darker days) cause bigger things are being prepared just for you, so yeah trust it. Trust yourself and your heart. You're not asking for too much anyway, but big things and changes (like going the opposite way from what you're used, like even changing your mental pattern) require a bigger amount of time. I think for many of you it's about love (even self love tbh or any other type of connection you have experienced: romantic, friendship, family...), maybe you need to heal/grieve and get over a past connection (situation/feeling) to get a new and possibly better one. I just read this by chance and its fitting so I guess it's for you: "Give yourself the permission to heal the same thing more than once". Allow yourself the same kindness and time respect you allow others.

song: hypnotized | purple disco machine, sophie and the giants (highly recommend reading the lyrics)

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pile 2

Your pile is giving me a hard time (luv ya). It feels like you don't want to let me in... maybe you tend to close off to others in general. I think you may have been through something big in the past (abandonment wounds more likely, someone left you out of the blue or you couldn't really trust people being there for you to help you when you needed them) and now you simply fear letting people in (it'd mean let them hurt you once again ofc). Some bits of you though may be starting to occasionally pour out of you, some even without control (your inner child wants more attention prolly)... maybe you are unconsciously trying to still be in touch with others, to connect more (we're humans, we need connections). I bet you feel alone these days, and I am sorry. Probably your heart still wants you to let down your walls or build some window, so to see if it's worthy to let someone in... maybe. I guess in love (any type) we have to take the risk of trusting others, of being vulnerable and letting them in. I think love (again any type) is our conscious choice to give someone else the power to hurt us... but still it's up on us to stop that hurt when we start to feel it. And talk about it before it gets too much, do not pretend things are always fine and you can take it all. There's such an overflow of emotions from you... You are abundant of love (or miss it so bad, no in between), you cannot keep it inside anymore and you're searching for something or someone to be able to take it all in and free you from that abundance (and give you back as much too and stop that lack, despite many of you mostly need to give). But maybe you fear being rejected and accused of being too much or hard to handle. Beware that yes, not everyone may be ready to be overwhelmed by your love or requests (as you may ofc not be ready to give it to someone since day 1), so just take things slow and talk. Remember also that some people may not be able to handle their own emotions to start with, so when you pour yours onto them, they may get overwhelmed and project onto you their fears and accuse you of being what you're not: "too much". We're all different, but it doesn't mean it cannot work (at least not always: it depends on the specific people involved). What I feel like telling you is... trust your intuition: it will guide you to the right people and places. You don't have to do it all alone, you don't have to stay alone... just take time to get used again with sharing and slowly letting down your walls. Not everyone is here to hurt you, and you can trust yourself in being able to recognize such people anyway and close them off, while letting others who deserve in. You're really full of love anyway... I don't have any other way to explain this. Your energy is so lovely. Maybe get a plant or a puppy, start pouring your love onto them, they will ofc receive it all happily and give back in their own way (a plant growing healthily and giving you flowers or even fruits, if applies, or having pretty shining green leaves is its way to tell you "thank you, ily").

This said, I do think you need to meditate and take some time to talk with your heart, decide what you can compromise on and what not (at least in the beginning, when starting reconnecting with others) and things like that. To meet the type of people you want to meet and deserve to meet, and get what you want, you need to be more open and even start going to search for them also in places you may not be considering atm (be the first one starting a convo if you want; don't always wait for others: maybe you both are waiting for the other so... try. If they "reject" you, it doesn't have to be you the cause of this rejection. It could be their "problem" too or that we're simply not made for everyone as not everyone is made for us). We can find different people in different places, even where we would never go (sometimes we are convinced we don't like something/someone but if we gave ourself the chance to try, we may even change our mind). Trust your guts for this, let yourself be called even by things you probably would have never considered joining or doing before (to get a different result, we need to do something different and it works for people too: not just in the way we act but also in the places we go to, a change can be needed and bring success). Idk why I am suddenly thinking about work with you. Maybe you want to change job or are moving somewhere else? That's good: changing, meeting different people and/or cultures may totally help you get a different approach in your life too and realize better your needs and that not everyone is the same ever in the world (you don't have to go the distance to see this btw). Totally give it a shot (confirmation, if you need: a change -probably even just in behaviour/routine or anything- may bring you wealth too not just in connections but money as well). My nose is itching so bad with you, probably you'll get some important download about what you'll have to do soon to get what you want, maybe even a dream or sign or something. You may be feeling lost so... yeah, this download will help you in your journey. Just let yourself get out more, even physically out of your home not just out of your own cage you have buildt inside around your heart. Let yourself be seen and found. You can survive anything, you have yourself, be sure of that. And anyway, you won't be alone forever. You can change this, your people are waiting for you (I literally had to check the time like yeah... it's time, come on!). Ofc keep trying to heal the reasons behind whatever is that is blocking you or caused you to cage yourself. Maybe for some of you healing will happen or improve when you'll meet other people, so it's fine if for now you don't feel like going too deep. It will happen at the right time, trust your own guidance.

song: basic instinct | the acid; running mate | lemolo (got called by both, so yeah.. you're lucky pile 2 ;) )

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pile 3

You are someone not scared of putting in hard work in order to get something you want. And I think you also have a very good mind that supports you in taking the right decisions or at least not giving up at the first obstacles or difficulties. I think you know it's okay to be a learner at first (and anyway, everyone is, and your heart knows this well) because you know you can see your results whenever you put effort into what you do. Things come easily to you, especially when you create this magic connection and balance between your light, heart/love and soul. When you connect really with your core center, and realize you are working for something you really deeply want and desire, you know you can do anything and go through anything. You change, adapt, grow, and always get to see abundance/success or attract it in your life. Or get to its side. Somehow though, and that's normal, at times you may get tired of always having to put in so much effort in all you do. At times you may be wondering if you're doing it all right and for something, or if you're actually being seen. I do think you are not being seen and appreciated that often to be honest, and this can cause you some self worth doubts. Maybe the people around you do not really give you feedback as much as you'd like... maybe you had to grow up and always had to work hard and get many positive results in order to get praised by your caregivers or others (contrary to others around you: you felt you had to put in a double effort to get the same kind of appreciation -it wasn't you the "wrong" one anyway, js), and this habit stayed with you. It helped you feel included and appreciated. You probably wear/wore masks sometimes or with someone and you kinda lost yourself in the process (or cause you focused mostly on your material life for long). But your heart knows that's not what is all about. You don't have to do anything in particular to be loved and appreciated, you only need to be you. I also think you need to work only on what you really want for yourself (mentioned above), not for others: you're caring and nice but, you're here for you and if you have to overwork to be seen... that's not good. Ofc to do this, you need to start a journey of getting back to yourself and knowing yourself again. You may have people pleasing tendencies and need to do what others require you to do, but that's not always what you want to do too. Try choosing with your heart and set up some boundaries. Protect your purity and energy from anything evil that may try to get your best and use your abilities and talents only to your own personal advantage. I think your career/grades will get better the moment you start doing this too (ofc, for those who can resonate).

Your heart is probably tired of not being acknowledged for who you really are, of being taken for granted... I feel like you may be thinking of giving up sometimes. Maybe you also had to be the responsible one since a young age, to almost parent your caregivers and they often came to you for support or you had to take decisions you didn't want to take. I perceive sadness around you and I'm very sorry. A heavy heart. Don't give up, please. Not yet. Ofc, take a break but don't give up entirely, especially if there's something you really want to do. Know you can always ask for support to others, even professional figures and you can take back what's yours and who you are. You can start again and start from yourself and who you really are. And you can even get away from whatever is hurting you if you need that. I do think you need peace most and foremost... You have worked too hard for too long, you felt in charge so many times and you did so much you didn't want to do. Now it's time to take a vacation (real or mental and emotional, at least) and relax your mind and heart. Heal your heart and then start your own personal journey. You have learned so much through these experiences, you know your worth and you know you can always make it and survive, so you know you're invincible. I don't have to be the one telling you for sure. ;) Just don't give up now even if your heart feels so tired. Better connections, people that will see you for who you are for real and appreciate you, will come in your life. Find yourself again. I do think there's a real lot in front of you to still be uncovered, and maybe also inside of you. A huge new (balanced) world you'll love and that will bring you so much more. You're still under construction, so keep building yourself up. I am seeing a cocoon/embryo, so yeah, it pairs with the green lemon in your photo too.

song: you are enough | sleeping at last

[haechanhues]

The College Experience

pairing : fwb!sunwoo x fem!reader 

genre : fluff + smut

warnings : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. sunwoo is a bit subby. jealous! reader. pet names like baby and princess are used.  sunwoo cries and reader has a bit of a dacryphilia kink. public (?) sex. degradation. implied unprotected sex - there’s no mention of a condom (...I think you know what I’m going to say in the brackets without saying it) friends with benefits but also feelings. their dialogue is my favourite tbh. 

summary : Jealous and grumpy after an attempt with your 2nd hookup choice, you drag Sunwoo into the bathroom, knowing he knows exactly what your body needs. 

taglist : @matchahyuck

word count : 3k. 

the college experience masterlist

inspired by : the bathroom scene in ‘through my window’. 

playlist : unholy - sam smith ft kim petras / escort - chase atlantic / p*$$y fairy (otw) - jhene aiko 

You clutch onto Sunwoo’s collar, his footsteps jumbled and without rhythm as you pull him into an empty cubicle. His eyes widen as he stumbles and falls onto the toilet seat in front of him. He peers up at you angrily. 

You let out a rough exhale and you want nothing more than to wrap your hands around his neck and choke the life out of him. 

“What was that for?” He growls, his arms expanding. 

You raise an eyebrow, “Still mad at me?” 

He scoffs, a fake smirk appearing on his face, “Can’t I be?” 

With your tongue snuggled in the roof of your mouth, you place both hands on his shoulders in an attempt to rein in your anger. Sunwoo’s eyes draw straight to the plump of your lips and you lick at them unconsciously in response. 

You clear your throat, grabbing at his chin and tilting it slightly. Your eyes zero in on the lipstick marks on his collar and simultaneously the reason for your clear disgust, “Hmm, can you?” 

Sunwoo’s shoulders straighten at the clarity for his rumpled clothing and the reason you dragged him, oh so gently, to the public bathroom. 

His mouth twists in initial judgement, “Look, you found someone for the night..I did the same.” 

You make a sound of begrudging acceptance, before your grip returns to his shoulders clamping down on the muscle causing him to wince, “You did, huh?”

Sunwoo smirks. For real this time, “Mhmm.” 

“..What’s her name? His name?” You murmur, lips smacking together curiously. Not overly inquisitive. But, that doesn’t work on the boy in front of you. 

Not at all. 

“They, actually,” He corrects, the smugness in his shoulders and his tone, “They don’t define themselves by gender.” 

You nod, “Did you have fun?” 

He pouts, the mirth in his big eyes on display and his fingers flexing with malicious intentions, “A lot….they were a great time-” 

Theatrically his voice trails off in favor of his hands wrapping themselves around your waist, pulling you close until you’re in between his spread legs, “But they weren’t better than you.” 

A lust ridden daze has your palms falling onto his thighs and his gaze dips and you can almost see a purple hued flames within them. The colour of strobe lights and mirror sex. 

“Didn’t you just get your dick wet?” You frown, as you feel the evidence of his arousal prodded against your navel, your own insanity pooling in your own underwear. 

“Look, you’re hot and angry.” He admits seriously, “And right now, I want to fuck that out of you.” 

“You want to fuck that out of me?” You chuckle, a tad condescending which only makes the fire in his eyes grow more wild, “You?” 

“Princess,” He jeers, humour insincerely written in his face with the curl of his lip, “I’m a people pleaser.. you know this. I intend to please.” 

His tongue licks at his lips, the true nature of his lie wiped completely clean, “And…whoever the fuck you got with… obviously didn’t do a great job at it. Otherwise you wouldn’t drag me in here.” 

“Wrong,” You say quietly, the sound of his breathing being the only sound you can hear. 

“Am I?” He cocks his eyebrow. 

“Mhm,” You nod, your lips finding the start of his jaw, letting your words tickle along the skin of his ear, “I would’ve dragged you in here regardless.” 

He hisses and you smugly let him tilt your head down into a feverish kiss, one that showcases how affected and wild he is. You push further into him, your mouth opening compliantly as his tongue meets yours, your pelvis pressing almost torturous pressure against his erection. 

“You’re driving me crazy,” Sunwoo slurs into the kiss, his hands cupping your breast through your tight club dress. You pull away to stare at the guy in front of you, gaze dancing across the messiness of his eyes and the way he stares at you. 

His cheeks the colour of peach. 

“Yeah?” You sing as his hands fall to the swell of your ass, squeezing experimentally. You let out a soft whimper of pleasure and he knows you’re doing it to be a complete tease. Perhaps one hellbent on petty revenge. But he can deal. He has before. He’s not going to stop now. 

With slow purposeful movements, he holds your gaze and your mouth slightly drops as he kisses you once on the stomach. The thin fabric doing nothing to deter the feeling of his plush lips. You feel your whole body heat and your pussy clench as he whispers, “This dress means everything to me.” 

You giggle as he starts to dot and line sweet little kisses along your jaw and cheek, your chest, your collarbone. Anywhere that’d have him, “It’s brand new.” 

“Does it matter?” Sunwoo huffs. 

“You...are pussy whipped,” You smile down at him, enamored by his voice and eyeing the way he traces circles onto your waist. 

He shakes his head, “Nah, not yet. Close. I intend to be though.”

“There you go with the ‘I intend to be’ bullshit,” You yelp as Sunwoo pulls you onto his lap, your position parted enough for him to slide a palm in between your legs. His touches a complete secret until the brush of his hand on your left thigh and the kiss of a fingertip on the bud of your clit. You mewl as you attempt to keep quiet, your lip biting down so hard you swear you taste blood. 

Letting his head roll at the sweet sound of your pleasure, he can barely withhold himself. Instead he falls in love with the foreplay. He watches the goosebumps on your legs rise as his palms glide from where your dress ends, pushing the fabric back up to your waist, revealing your panties to him. His eyes lull shut as if in prayer, taking his time to listen to the way your breathing hitches. 

You plant a meaningful kiss onto his closed eyelids before letting out a whine as  he bunches a whole grip of your fabric and pulls it towards his hips. Your pelvis grinding onto his. Feeling breathless, you bury him in a bed of open mouthed kisses, “Open your eyes.” 

Obediently, his eyes open wide, and you feel yourself melt for the molten glow left behind. 

“Aren’t you going to take off my dress?” You propose, your hands clasping over his own that are still grasping at the bunched fabric. 

Sunwoo loves that question. 

“No,” Sunwoo chuckles, “I’m not.” 

Before you can say anything, he drags your hips forward to meet his own and he loves the way your body collapses against his chest, your hair brushing against his face. You gasp. 

Fuck. 

“Look at you,” Sunwoo purrs, voice gentle, “So sensitive today.” 

His hand reaches underneath your dress, letting the heat between his hand and your pussy linger between the two of you. You whimper, your nerves electric as he takes his time to play with you. 

“I’ll take care of you,” He promises before his hand presses on your mound and his thumb on your clit. Your mouth drops in surprise and your hips jerk to meet his palm. Your hands grab at the chest of his shirt, stretching it, “Ssh baby, not too loud..we’re in public.” 

If you could come via words alone you would have. 

You would have probably squirted, even. 

Instead you opt to bite his shoulder, smirking when you hear him wince. He reaches inside your panties, loving the immediate arousal that coats his fingers. Finding your entrance quickly and wanting to see you slowly unravel for him, he lets his fingers ease into you, marveling at the way you pussy stretches and swallows his digits whole. 

On a sex induced high, he licks a stripe of your exposed throat, loving the way you writhe in ann attempt to keep quiet from above him, pulling at the strands of his hair. He can barely contain himself when he feels your arousal start to drip onto his palm, he wants to fuck you and soon. Foreplay, be damned. 

“Ooh fu-” You curse, moving your hips in a desperate attempt for him to move already. 

With his face taut, he starts to move his fingers, fucking them into you hard and fast. His cock strains in his pants as he hears the way your pussy squelches and your attempts to retrain from moaning. 

Your strangled whimpers. The sharp whip of your hand making contact with the bathroom wall. Your heavy breathing. Your muffled curses. 

At your fast orgasm, he removes his hand, eyeing your fucked out expression with a smug smile. 

“Don’t get cocky,” You fake snarl, but your insides are already giggly and bubbly from getting off on his fingers. 

“But you were so good for me, Princess, how could I not?” Sunwoo snorts, humour laced in his tone. Ignoring it, your hand closes around his throat as you press your lips into his, enjoying the way the teasing in his body loosens as you deepen the kiss further. 

Letting your hands lower, you pull away only to navigate the zipper of his pants. Sunwoo bites his bottom lip as watches you pull out his cock and lick your lips. You smirk as you take in his pretty cock and how much it throbs in your hand. 

“You talk mad shit, you know?” You comment and Sunwoo’s eyes darken in challenge, “Talking all big and all when you’re literally so pathetically desperate.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” You murmur, dragging the tip of his cock against your slit. You exhale with pleasure as you take a moment to enjoy yourself. 

“Sit on it, then,” He raises his eyebrows, daring you to take control of your own pleasure and ruin him with your pussy just as he ruined you with his fingers, “Because I am so pathetically desperate. Need you, Princess, fuck do I need you-” 

“Shut up-” You hiss as you lower yourself onto his cock. His eyes roll back - you feel so good. So warm. Wet. Tight. Everything he could ever want was in this moment - you and a good fuck. It’s all he really needs. 

Not this ‘fundamental college experience’ bullshit. 

You grind into him, loving the depth in which he reaches inside you as your hips swivel back and forth continuously. Your mouth hovers by his ear, allowing little whines to escape your mouth, each one driving him crazier than the last. 

“Sunwoo- mm, fuck.” 

Sunwoo loves the way you lose yourself in your pleasure, using his cock purely for yourself. Like he’s your toy. You rut against him at any angle that leaves you sopping and he takes it. His eyes flutter shut as you lift and sink onto him, riding him to your heart’s content.

You’re a selfish lover and like he said, he aims to please.

He lifts his hips to meet your movements, watching the way your pussy swallows his cock every thrust, blanketing it with your arousal. You bounce on his lap, mouth frozen in an act of silent rapture. 

The sound of chatter pulls you away from him, multiple voices conversing with each other about boys and gossiping about god knows what. Slowing down your hips, you make eye contact with Sunwoo in an effort to silently agree on your next steps. But when you turn to look, a delicious rush runs through your body starting with your fingertips and crashing into your brain. 

Sunwoo’s eyes are hazy and half lidded, lust driving him lost to the point of no return, his focus only on you. 

Your hips pick up their pace again and with stride, Sunwoo grasps at your hips so hard they might bruise, bouncing and dragging your hips to meet his. Wild but purposeful. You almost snarl into his skin at the way he makes your body feel absolutely wrecked. Absolutely loved. 

“Then Jaehyun-” 

“Which Jaehyun?” 

“Lee!” 

“No really?” 

Sunwoo’s eyes furrow and you know he has the sudden urge to come, his full bottom lip drops as his throat is suddenly exposed to you. At the first sound that escapes his throat, you slap your hand over his mouth, watching the way his face contorts and feeling the tingles his pleasure leaves behind on your palm. 

You move your hips incessantly on him, and when you feel quick spurts of come coating the inside of your pussy, you watch as your orgasm makes his cock throb with overstimulation. Greedily eyeing the way Sunwoo’s eyes well with thick tears. 

Your forehead drops onto his, letting his hands roam your body as a way to ground himself. You peek back at him, relieved to find his eyes completely clear and present. Your drop your palm, pulling away to gape in wonder at his pink lust filled lips and satisfied soft smile. You sigh. 

“Hey-” You feel a knock on the cubicle and one of the girl’s voices from before pulls you both from your reverie, “Girl, are you okay? Do you need help?” 

“....Yeah I’m okay! Thanks though,” You reply, hoping your voice isn’t hoarse or scratchy. 

“Oh, okay,” She replies back before she and the other girls with her leave with the chatter they walked in with, though this time mocking her overly sweet polite tone to which she snaps. 

Sunwoo frowns, “When did they walk in?” 

“Just before you cried,” You answer instead, not passing on the opportunity to tease him a little. 

“I was going to come!” He pouts as he lifts your body slightly, you both wince as his cock falls out of you, a bit of his come following after. Helping you lean against the cubicle wall with one hand, he tucks his cock back into his pants. 

While keeping a protective hold on you, he rises from the toilet, feeling almost dizzy in the post orgasm air. He does a once over, pulling your dress down to a appropriate level and combing your hair back from your face, “Come on...let’s wash up a bit.” 

Your hand wraps around his as he leads you to the wash basins, lifting you so you’re perched on the bathroom counter. You can only watch as he turns on the tap, dousing his hands in water before he lifts your dress slightly to wash his come that’s leaked out of your sex. You hiss at the cold temperature to which he only frowns, too focused on caring for you. 

You bite your lip. 

Feeling heat emit from your gaze, his dark eyes meet yours, gazing into them knowingly. His lip curls in a fake scolding way, a soft but firm refusal. No matter how much he wants to. No matter how much you want to. Because he knows if he even considers taking you here on this counter, you would live in this bathroom, fucking on every surface and uncaring of any person that were to come in. 

Tempting. But no. 

In an attempt to distract yourself and as he finishes up, your fingers tangle into his locks, pulling at the strands before letting go, amused at the way they bounce back into their curls. His arms go around you to bring you down from the counter only to stop when you wrap him in a thankful hug. 

He swallows hard but fluidly returns your hug and the two of you enjoy each other’s presence. 

“You smell good.” 

“And you just noticed?” He gloats, staring at your position in the mirror behind you. His fondness for the image of the two of you growing with every second. 

“Well no- not technically-” 

“Ah, somewhat noticed then,” He chuckles, helping you down from the counter. Your nose scrunches at his teasing, pinching at the leather of his armpit.  

“Are you feeling Thai food?” You ask after a moment of silence, giddy in the way he watches you softly and how he takes care of you. He nods and that’s all it takes for you to excitedly take his hand and drag him from the bathroom. 

You freeze at the group of girls lingering in front of the bathroom. They pause in their conversation to take in your hair and your interlocked hands slowly, before a involuntary giggle rings from the group. Heat erupts in your skin and you turn to bury your head into the amused Sunwoo’s chest, completely embarrassed out of your mind. 

“Sorry girls,” Sunwoo wolfishly grins, dragging your bambi like figure out of the doorway of the bathroom and down the hallway, happiness like no other swirling in his gut. Blatant we-just-fucked energy surrounding the both of you. 

“That’s so embarrassing,” You hum. 

“Well we’re going to date soon, aren’t we?” He replies. You think for a moment, counting in your head, “Who cares?” 

“But I’ve still got 3 more to go,” You answer instead. He grits his teeth, “And so do you!” 

“...Yeah,” Sunwoo reluctantly agrees, “Sure.” 

His eyes flit out through the door of the main hall, rolling his eyes at the luck of making eye contact with Kevin Moon. Your best friend, older by a couple of years and not only an advocate of this fucked up ‘college experience’ but the CEO of Getting-On-Sunwoo’s-Nerves. 

Fucking prick. 

Kevin’s stare darts across your body inquisitively, disapproval making his tipsy body rigid. The younger boy can spot Kevin’s tongue in his cheek. Entertained, Sunwoo impulsively shakes with laughter, only stopping when you pull briefly away from him to find what he finds so hilarious. 

“Stop laughing at me!” 

“Princess, it’s not you, I promise,” Sunwoo leans in to sweetly kiss your pout away, hoping that Kevin's whole night is ruined by how good the two of you fit together. You smack your lips together in an attempt to keep your giddiness at bay and find solace in your fingers. A dead giveaway. 

He smirks, “Feeling shy?” 

“Shut up,” You whine, digging your head back into his body and murmuring orders for him to get a move on and fast. Sunwoo agrees but not without a final second to rub it in your best friend’s seething face. 

With eyes cold and a condescending demeanour, he gives Kevin a withering glare before he takes you out the door and into the busy tussles of the city, relishing in the fact that you’re one step closer to being his girlfriend. 

author’s note : so this was probably the most fun I’ve had writing on here but also in saying that, i don’t know how well it reads. this is also part 1 of this little mini series so hopefully you’re interested. i did not think i was gonna finish this fic today LIKE AT ALL. 

[le-trash-prince]

OF Episode 6 Thoughts: Top/Mew

I finally got to watch this week’s ep and there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK. I have too many thoughts so I’m splitting them between posts.

First of all: What a fucking episode. I was either laughing or screaming the entire time. I love this shit so much. Everyone in this group sucks!

Mew's bi momma! 🙌

When Mew said “I want you to meet my parents at the end of the year” and then “But don’t count on us still being together” I was like “What the fuck Mew?” LOL. Like Mew, I know you will probably never understand this, but just because you are not seeing anyone else doesn't mean that you are emotionally committed to this relationship. You keep pulling back and giving mixed signals!

“I think the reason I was fine without a relationship was because I got enough love from family and friends” Mew how about you recognize that you’re demi instead of psychoanalyzing your slutty friends!

Tbh tho, I know it's really hard to come to terms with your own sexuality, especially when it's so different from everyone around you. We try to come up with reasons as to why people are different, rather than being able to accept that these differences can be inherent to who we are as people.

I think this episode showed more than any other just how genuine Top’s feelings for Mew really are. And of course this had to be the episode it all came crashing down.

Like the notebook of drawings he gave him? That was super sweet and thoughtful as a gift—ppl prob expect someone like Top to just throw money at his lovers but instead he put time and effort into his gift. You can’t draw someone like that without really looking at them. There wasn’t anything in that gift that said "fuckboy" or “I’m doing this just so you will sleep with me.”

Felt like there was an intentional parallel between Top kissing Mew’s forehead while he was asleep and Ray kissing Mew on the mouth.

I feel like I need to rewatch to process “Mew and Ray get in a fight” and “Ray gave Mew the audio file and Mew believed him”

When Mew and Top got home, I loved how the change and tension felt tangible. Like something about Mew going into the bedroom by himself and leaving Top in the living room spoke to a barrier between them

Mew pinning Top to the bed did a lot of things for me thanks 👍

“I love the way you sound in bed” honestly some cinematic poetry, I was hollering.

As much as I feel like Top was coerced into sleeping with Boston, what can he even say to defend himself with? “I didn’t want to sleep with him?” Well it sure sounded like you did. “I did it because I thought you lied to me?” Yeah that’s not gonna make Mew understand. Lol. Again, I don't know if Top even knows if he's allowed to not want to have sex with someone.

It’s a hard situation with a lot of grey area! And even tho we kind of knew this was how Mew was gonna find out, it's the worst way for him to find out.

Of course Mew is going to be hurt. This is like the worst outcome for him, and it revealed a lot of his insecurities around his lack of sexual experience. Especially after talking big at the beginning "My senses are always correct and I know everything there is to know about love."

I wonder if he even blamed himself for being bad at sex as to why he didn’t enjoy his first time with Top all that much, rather than it simply being that he might not really get much out of sex at all. It's okay if you don't want sex, Mew, or if you don't enjoy it, or even if it takes time for you to enjoy it!

“I’m not worth enough for you to love only me.” Mew. Mew. *shakes him* First of all, Top thinks Boston is a pile of burnable trash. He does not love that man! Second of all, please don’t tie self worth to romantic love or to ideals of monogamy. It is never going to end well.

Again, "I think the reason I was fine without a relationship is because I got so much love from family and friends." Mew are you being honest with yourself? You even said yourself that the reason you slept with Top was because you were worried about him getting bored with you.

I may have mentioned this before, but I think the reason that "mastermind Mew" was so popular with the fandom at the beginning of the series is because people wanted it to be true, because if Mew had seen this coming, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I don't think it came from "we think Mew is evil or manipulative or whatever," I think we just didn't want to watch a person as naive as Mew get hurt. Because that's what happens the majority of the time in real life. People get hurt.

Sad lonely himbo Top in the bathtub 👍

Overall, I really enjoy watching their relationship. It's very complicated; it's nowhere near as straightforward as a "fuckboy cheats on his virgin boyfriend" plotline could easily be. I don't think they had a solid foundation for their relationship. They enjoy their dates, but there hasn't been a lot of great communication between them, which as I mentioned on a previous post, is very normal, especially for a first or second relationship. And for both of them, I think this is their first real attempt at a relationship, and neither of them know what they're doing.

In the preview, we see a clip of Mew in the bathtub where his expression changes, and it really looks like a symbolic transformation to me. Whether we get revenge era Mew or "let's try this again with more emotional transparency" Mew, I'm here for it.

[freeuselandonorris]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

tysm for the tag @glasscushion !!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32 currently!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

241,146 since 2018 which is absolutely wild to me, particularly as i have about another 30k waiting in the wings. three novels’ worth. WILD.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

largely motorsports (formula 1 and formula e) although i do occasionally dip a toe into other fandoms. largely RPF, i’m generally not that interested in writing non-RPF although i do read it sometimes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

there was always warmth between us (maxiel)

lol, my magnum opus. the stats on this one still blow my mind (almost 1400 kudos at time of writing). sometimes people tell me it’s a comfort fic for them which really makes my day. there’s a lot about this fic i would change if i wrote it again now (the dialogue especially) but there you go, hindsight and all that.

nobody knows the trouble i’ve been (or the exacting improvement of sin) (maxiel)

i think this was the first vaguely kinky fic i posted on AO3? spanking and behaviour correction from the days when max and dan were starting to want to kill each other and it was spilling over on-track. definitely blessed dan with way too much emotional intelligence compared to real life but hey, i can do what i like with my paper dollies.

as if death itself was undone (maxiel)

undernegotiated breathplay porn my beloved! this remains one of my favourite fics i’ve ever written (although the paragraphs are way too long). i’m a real sucker for the trope of people discovering kinks they didn’t know they had and immediately acting on them — v bad idea in real life, v hot in fiction.

a siren on the rocks calling you into the deep (girl!landoscar)

so funny to me that the lunatic squirting rule 63 porn i posted less than a fortnight ago is in my top 4 already, landoscar fans you are all freaks and i love you for it. this is absolute filth, my first rule 63 and contains a lot of bodily fluids, my favourite thing.

unfucktheworld (maxiel)

i was very surprised to see this in my top 5 but honestly i think it’s only there because it’s my oldest fic so it’s just had time to accrue more kudos? it was my first time writing fic in about 10 years, the characterisation is all over the place, it’s just…not that great i don’t think? but it’s sweet and porny and it’s lovely that people are still digging back through the archives to give it a go, so i’m not complaining.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! i went through a phase last year where i just got very easily overwhelmed by life and gave up on replying for a while (which sucks because i received some of my favourite ever comments during that period, so if i ever didn’t reply to your comment please know that i DID read and treasure it, i am just very bad at carrying out simple tasks sometimes). i tend to save them up and reply in batches, which is probably why i get overwhelmed 🫠

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

idk if i’ve written any with an outright angsty ending tbh! i am a sucker for a happy ending, or at least an ambiguous one. also frankly a lot of my fics are just porn and don’t really have endings per se lmao.

i guess my weird toto/christian all the blood runs hot before it’s cold has a not-happy ending in the sense that it’s clear that they doomed to repeat unhealthy behaviour with each other (to be explored in the sequel i nearly have completed once i get free of the landoscar brain rot) but it’s not angsty, really, because christian’s too far in denial to be angsty about it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i think there was always warmth between us, being a slowburn friends to lovers that ends with a declaration of love, probably takes that crown!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far, fingers crossed it remains that way! i do remember being very nervous before i posted my first hardkink fic (the watersports fic eight of swords (reversed)) and feeling like i would be driven from the fandom with pitchforks, but thankfully that did not come to pass.

i do quite often receive comments that are just sort of…baffled? because i have a tendency to write extremely sexually explicit fics that are deliberately not actually that sexy. i like writing about the weirdness and grossness of sex, i like weird kinks and psychosexual oddness, i like unbalanced power dynamics and i like it when sex scenes aren’t all soft focus and simultaneous orgasms. so i think sometimes people go in to my fics expecting one thing and coming out with something else, but the comments are always very polite! also i think i have accidentally awakened something in quite a few readers but i consider that a public service.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

looool. do i. as above — i write a LOT of smut and it is usually far too detailed, generally very informed by kink and power dynamics, and unnecessarily verbose. i’m a huge fan of the writing of JG Ballard who wrote the most clinical, bizarre sex scenes that make you horny and disturbed in equal measure, and that’s what i strive towards in most of my fics.

even the ones that are actually incredibly sweet and romantic (to me anyway!) like just found me a brand new box of matches (landoscar foot fetish gremlin weirdness) or playboy in the grotto (landoscar piss fetish gremlin weirdness) are still not sexy in a sanitised way, they’re about love and connection being found through cherishing and honouring the weird and gross and unconventional parts of each other. this is a political standpoint for me as much as anything else, not to get overwrought about it — my queerness is as expressed through my love for the unsanitary and unsavoury and taboo as much as it is my love of people of different genders, and i want to reflect that in my fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i don’t! i don’t tend to read them, either. maybe this is just a side effect of my preference for RPF but i just don’t find the concept all that interesting or appealing. i’m also not that much of a fan of AUs in general (rule 63 excepted), although i will make exceptions if they’re well-written and i like the concept enough.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah someone reposted there was always warmth between us on wattpad a year or so ago and had to do the copyright strike thing. i felt very famous.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don’t believe so! if anyone wants to translate any of my fics, please feel free to ask.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not officially! i think i am too much of a control freak for that tbh. but i have written a lot of fics that have been hashed out in forensic detail with @lost-decade and/or @scenetocause and so they probably should be given co-creator credits for half my fics.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

oooooh this is a hard one yknow. I tend to love a ship very intensely for a few months and then lose interest. i guess max/daniel is the one i have liked for the longest time, although i don’t really read it much anymore because i…frankly don’t really like either of them irl all that much anymore? lmao. but yeah it’s probably them! i will also always have a soft spot for jeandre.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

honestly my jeandre opus a universe hesitant to grant us grace is not technically finished, i just left it where it was due to real life events impinging on it at the time. it’s a shame because i did love what i was doing with that fic but i can’t revisit it because it’s too wrapped up in other stuff.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m good at vibes! good at small details that give an insight into a character or setting, good at seeding ideas and at description. I think i’m fairly decent at writing snappy dialogue too, and people tell me i’m good at writing humour too which i am always quite taken aback by but i will gratefully accept!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

long-winded sentences, not enough verbs/not making the verbs work for me, and too many adjectives. tight plotting (lack thereof). getting a bit too forensic in my sex scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do it occasionally when i’m writing people whose first language isn’t english, but i don’t speak any other languages well enough to be confident in using anything other than the odd word or phrase.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ah, i’m ageing myself here… It was for placebo, on the fan forum they had hosted on their own website (god bless them, no wonder i’m so chill about the concept of RPF) around 20 years ago when i was 14. i learned a LOT from that forum. placebo are indeed largely to blame for stoking my degenerate tendencies at an impressionable age. good for them. the first fandom i wrote for on AO3 was in 2018 and it was F1.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

aghhh it’s hard to choose but i think it has to be all the blood runs hot before it’s cold, the toto/christian madness. it took me such a long time to write but i feel like i really achieved what i wanted to with it and caught the weird psychosexually unhealthy vibe i was aiming for. i’m also really fond of playboy in the grotto, the landoscar watersports porn. it was my first time writing them and it kicked off an obsession. piss kink is my holy grail kink and i just found this so easy and fun to write, and i think you can tell that i had fun from the writing.

WHEW. well done if you read all this. i think probably most people have already filled this in but if you have not and you would like to i am tagging @lost-decade @scenetocause @zeraparker @boxboxlewis @flawlessassholes @beechersnope

(edited to fix many typos)

[jack-kellys]

if you’re taking asks about uksies. may i ask for the choreo details for kony andjd? the need to visualize it while listening is obsessive -davesjacobs

YES SO TRUE ok @davesjacobs

ask me abt this show RIGHT NOW!!

ok so the main thins about the choreo is that those three long tables are gone, and jacobi’s now has these individual diner-style square tables all on wheels. they do some other choreo first before they start tapping and some of the tables are moved back. newsies hold down the tables so they don’t shake too much when other boys hop up to tap. les has a genuine tap solo. iirc they don’t make fun of katherine’s tapping… they have a moment where they yell at her to get up on one of the tables and four newsies do some cup-ohraphy around her feet while the rest do it at the other tables. there’s also no spoon fight..?? like the music is. different actually like there’s no music for the spoon fight bc uhh they have more interesting things to do.

they do lots of movement with the tables, there’s some cool lighting moments especially— davey also sits les on a table and drives him up through the row of newsies and he’s using a platter as a little steering wheel <333 this song is rly used as a way to show that davey and les are definitely two of the gang now much more than uhh bway/livesies that mostly just had them in it lmao

then of course to top all this shit off. these industrial hanging lights that have been flown in from above for the scene fly a little lower. some of the newsies had been wearing some kind of glove that i’d thought was like “oh they got hurt there in the strikebreaking.” NO. i watch finch attach his fucking hand to the outer rim of this light, lift himself off the table he’s standing on, and do an upside-down split. then (and PLEASE correct me if i have this order wrong) it’s either. 1. they spin around, the lights taking them upward a bit, land back on their tables before other newsies remove them and the acrobatic gang is like “ok bet” and then swing out over the audience during the final chorus. or 2. they spin a bit, then with the tables still present (i think this is right tbh) run off of them to swing over the audience through most of the final chorus. when they settle back over the stage, the tables are removed from under them, and then for “guts and glory, front page story, i’m the king—” they shoot the FUCK up into the air, high speed spinning, albert is like in the goddamn rafters, “—of new york!” all the newsies in the air stick their legs out in a split and they stop spinning for the final frozen pose.

it’s off the wall crazy in that madhouse dude LMAO like it is. what. and the music is fantastic if you want to hear it and also the whole show from december!

[tvshowspoilers]

So 19 hours in to S2 episode 1-3…how we feeling OFMD family? lol

I’ve got thoughts for episode 1…..

Olus little baby blue vest he has while serving in Republic of Pirates is beautiful.

Interesting faces Stede is making this season.

Serious goose Jim!

Swede has such a moving speech about Jackie ❤️❤️❤️

So this is 87 days since the end of season one and we still don’t know what made Ed change from Kraken at the end of S1ep10 to the first look in S2ep1 and DJ blew all our theories about the pearl necklace, Ed’s hair, and the gloves out of the water…unless I’m wrong (if I am please correct me and explain!) but yeah, so the necklace….came from a raid? He’s got the half gloves and his hair in a half bun….why? What was the moment that made him take off the cravat…? (Why does he put it back on…)

So he went to hard drugs (that’s what rhino horn is?) to numb the pain??? I’ve mostly read about alcohol abuse in fics but not drugs…tbh I was like “omg” s when I saw that

Poor Fang, after the wedding he is so upset about killing. My gentle giant . And his crying when Izzy is shot 😭

Are we going to get flashbacks of the 87 days? i assume so cause we are missing a lot if not. But I get it if they don’t because they don’t have a lot of runtime

This is bad quality but Ed still lights the fire

All the knives in the Stede’s table…oh the cabin..damn he was so proud of it

Izzy’s speech to Ed was just…it’s heartbreaking wether you like him or not cause it brings back that feeling we’ve all had of feeling like you aren’t enough, I think

But like Izzy and Ed’s convo is so important actually

Just realize Ed says “hi all” when “talking it through as a crew”

I still can’t believe Ed shot Izzy…like I’ve read two fanfics out of hundreds where he does that when it’s outside of defense of Stede

Frenchies little head shake to Izzy to tell him to not say anything more to Ed to make him mad

So..he’s pushing them until they kill him right? Because like a parallel to Stede in episode 1, he doesn’t know if he wants to live��?

Idk what to think about Rick? Like he could be playing Stede for reasons but if he’s serious about Stede saving his life…oof

I also have THOUGHTS about Stede being ready with his hand on his knife?

I love Jackie’s nightgown and that we are getting her more this season!

Jim would have been great story time! I love the way they tell the story lol

Damn the way Taika played Ed when talking to frenchie about the bird makes my heart hurt

Oh man and frenchies resignation…can he feel that Ed is about to crack at that moment?

Anyone want to make a meta on how at the end of epi 1, Stede is in the light and Ed is in the dark lol

Overall, really amazing start to the season and I can’t wait for more ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Onward to thoughts of episode 2!

[thekaijudude]

Ok, before you release your review of Blazar… I’m going to send you mine. Correction: I already have. I sent it to you before I’ve even finished writing the first paragraph of the qn.

Basically, I want you to tell me your thoughts on my review.

Additionally, I want you to tell me, in as much detail as possible, why you felt Blazar had a boring plot. Please try to give me at least 7 major reasons and 5 minor reasons why it was boring for you, and here’s the thing: not one of them can be just ‘it was episodic’. If you can’t do that, then I want you to tell everyone why you think episodic seasons are so bad, when the Monster of the Week style has plain and simply worked for Blazar.

(Also, I feel like I’m being overly aggressive. Just understand that I liked Blazar a heck of a lot and don’t understand how you were going ‘it’s a boring show’ the whole time.)

Oh hell nah I ain't reposting that whole thing here, I guess mainly your review kinda makes your standards kinda ambiguous? Cause you said it's better than Trigger, Decker and Mebius but how exactly? Or what even were the positives and negatives of the aforementioned series that you're comparing Blazar to, that Blazar did better neccessarily? That you're even giving a rating for in the end?

Something like what I did for RB here:

Otherwise the entire review was just you talking about Blazar as a series alone despite you trying to do a comparative analysis which was what you tried to do in an incomplete fashion in the beginning as the analysis never really came, so this bascially made your entire 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 7th paragraph entirely moot to begin with

As for your 4th paragraph, that dosent neccessarily make both of our stances mutually exclusive tho? Like of course most would prefer a clear and consistent theme, but you do realize that both an episodic and a non-episodic narrative can achieve that no? So that point was neither here nor there

As for your second question, i aint gonna do all that since ive done it oftenly prior, think I attached a link to an ask which I covered in the review, plus the said review itself.

Best I can do is link said post here for u to read yourself:

Plus, episodic series is essentially just a preference, it can "work" for ANY series, but what I said specifically, is because if its episodic, this puts a restriction on each (or 2) episode having to focus on something different, with little sense of continuity and more often than not, takes the focus away from the Ultra itself, which again, is another preference I have for series. It all depends on what story you chose to tell for an entire season, which I personally felt it could be better for Blazar since he comes from a new origin (M421) with a unique species characteristic that we've never seen before (Being able to fuse with entire kaiju + using kaiju powers on their own, unlike X, which has to go through an intermediary), so I felt that Blazar, having a unique character setting was utterly wasted in this series (again, focusing on the Ultra is my personal preference)

I think u can search for commentaries in the first 8 episodes where I went in detail into this and more, plus iirc, I got alot of asks about this from different followers giving their own perspectives on and raising this issue very early on as well if u want more context

Also I was asked quite a few times about my thoughts on Blazar even prior before that, can check those out via the #asks tag, which I created for purposes like these

Otherwise can just check out all of the commentaries I have for every episode throughout the series if you really want that much details cause ain't no way I'm gonna do that much just for an ask

[lee-minhoe]

hi love!!

ahsjdkf high key high key insane. yes that’s definitely it. and i know his latest vlog!!!!! it was so cute my god. ‘love me a man who can cook’ and ‘love me a man who reads for fun’ mel beloved you truly truly get it <3 and his boba eyes !!!!! exactly !! he has the prettiest eyes truly. and he and his cats!! the love he has for them is so lovely!! and ahsjdkf the puppy interview was such a mess i love it so much

and yeah i’ve been here for a bit ashdjf. i remember watching the whole survival thing and i listened to hellevator and i was high key obsessed with that and then i just never left? ahsjdkf but yeah it’s been really fun seeing them grow because looking back and then realizing how big they are now is just insane sometimes tbh. but!! what !! two months ???? ngl i would never have guessed that with how much you adore minho ahsjdkf. i hope it’s been fun getting into them though! is min the only bias or is there someone else too 👀

uhmm wait let me check spotify ashdhdjf. okay so. album wise, my fave from the i am series is probably i am who? pretty much every song on that album is a serious fave. and from the clé series it’s probably levanter but miroh is a close second ! and tbh any album after 2020 is a fave i can’t choose i really love all their music ahsjdkf. as for fancams i actually don’t really watch those? feel free to give me some recs !!

hope you have a wonderful day/night ! - 🌻

I JUST LOVE LINO SO MUCH :(((( mentally my mind is still with the last lino vlog hahahah. it didnt help that he was also in a sleeveless shirt for part of it and with the bw cap, thats one of my many weaknesses T.T

i love seeing lino with cats asfdsakh please i want to be a cat

omg so you watched skz when they were on that survival show then, i watched some clips of it after i became a fan and when lino and felix got eliminated and everyone was sad, it made me cry 😭😭 like when chan said to lix, i'm never gonna leave you okay? i was like noooooooo my bbs 😭😭😭 and also i love seeing lino teach the members about their dance moves, like i think there was a moment in the survival show (??) where chan was telling jeongin how to correct his dance moves and lino stepped in and calmly and patiently showed jeongin what to do 🥺🥺 lino dance teacher is one of my fav genres of lino (as if all the genres of lino arent my fav!!). also i was trying to find that clip i was talking about but i couldn't and instead i found this video and omg i made myself cry again ASJDFHAKSD the way that minho was smiling through the pain 😭 minho best boy <3

it has been really fun getting into skz!!! the boys are so talented and funny HAHA and stayblr seems so nice too :)) i felt like i was going insane when i first got into skz because their music is SO GOOD i was listening to it 24/7 and constantly had random parts of songs stuck in my head throughout the day LOL. i'm waiting for the day i can see them live on tour hehe i saw them at kcon la in aug but didn't really know much about them at the time! and besides min, my bias line is also felix and jeongin 🥺🥺 they're such cutieeesss <33 but honestly i love all of them!!! outside of skz though, i also love mark lee from nct a whole lot :(((( and jaemin as well, i think those are my top 3 biases :) it can take a while for a group or a bias to become like top ultimate-tier level for me but when they do there is no going back and i will be loyal forever HAHAHA

oooh santa you just asked me for lino fancam recs.....i hope you know what door you just opened 👀 i usually don't watch fancams except for my biases sometimes, but let me tell you i love lino fancams a lot LOL there's just something about the way he dances that is very mesmerizing to me?? here are some of my fav lino fancams:

201129 all in; 220409 maniac; 220311 maniac; 200709 easy; 210926 domino; 211231 thunderous; 210828 thunderous; 210826 thunderous; 221008 taste; 200618 gods menu; 200917 back door; charmer; boxer

SORRY I LISTED SO MANY LOL I AM CRAZY

[awda]

Mars in Composite part one

(Not my pictures or gifs)

all rights reserved

Link to my Etsy shop for personal Composite chart readings 🖤

Hi muerte babys <333

I’m actually loving this whole planet composite observation thing-

At first I was skeptical of it because I didn’t wanna be stuck on one topic but I’m actually loving this idea :-)) I hope ya are too

I was hoping to make this all into one part but I got a little carried away 🥲 Anyways enjoy ☺️

I wasn’t planning to include songs but like I said I got carried away bro LMAO LEAVE ME ALONE 😭

Oh and Happy New Years :D

Reblog with your Mars sign in composite if this resonates ♥︎

ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎ꨄ♡︎

Aries Mars in composite makes the couple very goal determined. Honestly this is a marriage placement tbh. This couple gets shit done. The interest for each other shows very clearly, and this placement can also indicate that before the relationship started, whoever encouraged the relationship with the other person ,knew the person were in a relationship or situationship already and still chose to fw them. The relationship pushes both to get their shit done. They’ve stuck with eachother through thick and thin. They most likely argue frequently about dumb shit too, but they get over it quickly. I don’t think the sex is too desirable with Aries Mars tho.. correct me if I’m wrong but is just a lot of fantasies within the sex life of this couple. Like there’s never enough sexually with this couple, there’s more fantasies than actually acting the fantasy out. Aries Mars can tend to create a couple with sex issues, maybe the S/O just doesn’t know how to please the partner good enough. Aries Mars can create a unfaithful relationship too. The pleasure isn’t there, as much as fire signs hype up their sexual acts .. I’m disappointed in you Aries 😟🙁🙁 I also feel like Aries Mars can create a very childish couple, they may not be entirely childish but just have childish tendencies. Annoying asf. I’m getting upset writing this LMFAO

Taurus Mars in composite are a very blunt couple. They keep it real with each other and they’re a very serious couple. Usually if you have Taurus Mars w someone in composite, is a indication that you or the other person takes the connection very seriously. This couple rarely gets angry with each other but when they do- just know the argument is serious and very heated. This couple pushes each other to better themselves and they’re constantly on each other’s necks about small details. Taurus Mars in composite makes the couple care about what outsiders think about how the connection appears. They’re patient with each other and care about each other’s wellbeing, when they’re by theirselves with each other, they’re very comfortable. They feel like they can be themselves towards each other. Usually a long term relationship indication. This couple gets shit done. They make their goals & dreams come true together. They’re both each other’s hype-man. Speaking sexually, Taurus Mars in composite creates a couple that will make sure both is pleased during any sexual acts and if you have a Taurus Mars with someone that you’re romantically talking to, you will never have to worry being unsatisfied, or not being able to orgasm. Taurus Mars creates a couple that actually cares about each other’s pleasure naturally. Song(s):

Gemini Mars in composite indicates a very fast past relationship. Time doesn’t exist within this couple. Most likely the relationship/connection evolved vastly. Within this couple it feels like, time is a illusion, like I said time doesn’t exist in this relationship, is like a dream world. This couple can talk for HOURSSSS about all of their passions and nobody else will understand but both of them. Their passions in the relationship are mutual. Both understand each other’s dreams and goals and work together for internal peace. Personally I love this placement sm, so dreammyyyyyy. Imagine having someone who understands your fantasies that nobody else seems to get? Honestly whoever is dating someone w this placement, you’re so lucky, cherish this connection fr. As far as sexual wise, I feel like Gemini Mars in composite can create a couple that is very versatile with kinks, or sexual positions. Song(s):

Cancer Mars in composite indicates a couple that has a tough romance together. They give touch love to each other because they want the best out of each other. Cancer Mars in composite causes a couple that sees only the best side of their partner that society doesn’t usually see out of the person. So they’ll be pushy with each other to get the best out of them in everything. Possibly can be clingy too depending on the degree & decan. Cancer Mars in composite makes the couple very blunt towards each other, like how I was talking about tough love? Yeah. That’s what I mean. They’re very blunt towards each other so if one does something out of their character, trust and believe the other will be honest with them. Cancer Mars are like the type of couple that’ll be talking about nothing and just randomly look at each other and smile 🥺 So cute fr 🙏🏼🙁 I feel like Cancer Mars in composite can cause a very overprotective couple too, hence Cancer ruling home & family. So it’ll make the couple very protective & pushy over each other, like if one goes out to a party at night with their friends, the other will be calling them every 5 minutes checking up on them. They’re also very comfortable with each other too. Idk why I just thought of Cancer Mars making a couple open to licking/sucking each other’s toes LMFAOAOAOAOA 😭 Cancer Mars can cause a very kinky couple too.. into weird ass kinks, that they most likely never even heard off before they started getting sexual together. I feel like Cancer Mars can be most seen in a couple that took each other’s virginity, idk why. Cancer Mars in composite pulls out the kinky sexual side of them. Cancer Mars in composite can indicate a relationship with a person you’ll never sexually forget. A sexual relationship that is rare. Swear Cancer Mars makes pornstar couples 🙁💀

Leo Mars in composite creates a very active couple. Idk why but when I started writing this observation for Leo Mars I immediately thought of a image of someone running. Leo Mars creates a very clingy couple, is like the couple can’t keep their hands off each other. Can’t even be around a Leo Mars couple because you’d feel like you’re third-wheeling 😭🙏🏼 Like with Cancer Mars, Leo Mars in composite brings out the kinkier/hornier side of them. Swear.. once you meet someone romantically that you have a Leo Mars with, you’ll find yourself doing things you never even seen or thought of before. Makes you question yourself 😭 Romance comes naturally to these couples. Flirtatious acts flows naturally too. I notice majority of people you’ve been into romantically, has the same mars sign as you. Now personally, I am a Leo Mars, and majority of my exes are Leo Mars, about at the same degree and decan of mine too. Most of my romances with my exes have been very fast paced. So maybe with Leo Mars in composite can cause the couple to move vastly together. Wanting to do bigger steps in the connection even if they just met a week ago. I feel like Leo Mars in composite are mainly seen when the couple is both hopeless romantics, longing for a romance that seems impossible or a “rare find”. Song(s):

Virgo Mars in composite creates a very self aware couple. A couple that helps each other out of struggles. Builds foundation together. Possibly a placement that indicates one person in the connection has addiction(s), and this connection can encourage them to release. Virgo Mars in composite is such a dreamy placement because it naturally helps you both see through each other’s issues and find the good in each other. A very supportive couple, could also be more financial stable together than without each other. Sexually speaking, Virgo Mars indicates a very touchy couple. Idk if this resonates to any Virgo Mars out there but I was listening to this while writing this so maybe this relates to any couple with Virgo Mars out there:

This song could possibly relate because the first lyric of the song is “Ay mira que perfecta estas” and I literally just said how Virgo Mars in composite can indicate a couple who isn’t perfect, but sees the good in each other. Song(s):

Libra Mars in composite is such a romantic placement tbh LMFAO not even that Libra is ruled by Venus but just how literally all Libra placements have similar traits 💀 All Libras have romantic ways, Libra Mars in composite is a dreamy placement because Libra Mars in composite indicates a couple that knows each other’s weak spots, and are each other’s soft spot. Sexually speaking Libra Mars couples has very slow-passionate sex, none of that rough stuff, they’re very gentle to each other. Always making sure one another is pleased within anything. Will go an extra mile to make sure their partner is okay emotionally, a very caring couple indication. Libra Mars couples are softies for each other. I feel like this placement would be seen in a first love or highschool sweetheart connection, or a connection that evolves slowly.

This song is very nostalgic to me. It reminds me of the time era when I was stuck on my ex and reconnecting with my roots. I feel like Libra Mars couples could relate to this because Libra Mars in composite can indicate a child-like, honeymoon typa love. A connection that is hard to get over emotionally, constantly reconnecting and forgiving each other for the smallest things. I feel like Libra Mars in composite couples mainly are Water dom relationships 😭 Just because Libra Mars in composite gives off such Taurus/Water venus vibes. Taurus too, since this couple is very sensitive & can be jealous at times for the smallest things about the other person doing something. Feeling like you both are meant to be, like you both were looking for each other in this lifetime all long, ALSO YOU COULD HAVE A LIBRA MARS W SOMEONE YOU’RE TALKING TO ROMANTICALLY IF YOU’VE BEEN SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME AND DESIRING LOVE !!! Like you both longing for a connection like this and finally having it. An “caught off guard” relationship. You could be talking to someone you have a Libra Mars w rn and not even expect it, but that’s how Cupid works, Until then 😉…Song(s):

[bellesowl]

head over heels

- multiple characters

⤷ kuroo, iwaizumi, atsumu, sakusa 

genre: fluff!! ; established relationship

synopsis: in which they realize how head over heels they are for you

word count: 1.4k total :))

warnings: very very slight manga spoilers in iwa’s, i kinda curse a little

- a/n: hi! this is very very late for valentines but i wanted to post it anyways! also, this is very cheesy but when is anything i write not cheesy anyways? & please, i literally write for the same four people BYEE. oh & thank u @omisluvr for beta-ing this ily mwah

- kuroo tetsurou

he falls for your quick wit & intelligence 

we all know that kuroo is known for his wit and for being a big, big nerd LMAOAKJSC 

i think he would appreciate a s/o who’s on his level academically & could compete with him, esp cause he’s so competitive

and we know how quick with his words this man is- it’s probably one of the reasons tsukishima actually listens to this mf tbh

i feel like he would want a s/o who could bite back and put him in his place every once in a while

probably finds it super hot 

“tetsurou!” you yell, glaring at him. 

he raises his hands in alarm, amusement and mischief swimming in his eyes. he had embarrassed you in front of the whole class, immediately correcting you when you claimed that the reaction on the board was an endothermic reaction when in reality, it was an exothermic reaction. sure, he was right, but he didn’t have to point it out like that!

“what?” he questions, “it’s not my fault you lacked docosapentaenoic acid when you were a child.” he finishes with a smug smirk on his face. 

the scowl on your face morphs into a smirk at his words and his own falls at your face. “i think you mean docosahexaenoic acid, oh wise one?” you ask, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

he recovers quickly, yelling about how easy it is to mistake the two. at your laugh, he realizes just how lucky he and whipped he is for you because this? he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

- iwaizumi hajime 

he falls for your independence 

lord knows that having to deal with oikawa practically all his life + the seijoh third years, my man would not be able to deal with a s/o who is super dependent on him

sure, he finds it cute when you’re being clingy & want a hug or a kiss but someone who constantly insecure or is just overall emotionally dependent on him - i feel like it would be a slight turnoff 

now, if you feel insecure, tell him because he would also def appreciate your honesty and that wouldn’t necessarily be seen as a problem

it becomes a problem when you push all your problems onto him and expect him to fix it

but a s/o who can work out their problems on their own but still comes to him for advice and support?

yeah, he’s def in love

you hear a knock on your door and quickly move to open it, hoping it’s who you think it is.

“hey love,” hajime sighs as you usher him into your home, “i’m so sorry i’ve been so busy lately, with volleyball and all the extra applications to be able to move to the states, it’s been a lot.”

you nod, understanding written on your face. “don’t worry about it babe, i get it! do you need any help with anything?”

he shakes his head, instead choosing to wrap his arms around you, nuzzling his nose in your hair and breathing in your intoxicating scent. “being with you is enough. i really am sorry though, did you need anything?”

you shift slightly, guiding him over to the couch and cuddling up to him there, “all i need is this, hajime.”

he kisses the top of your head and while you both talk about everything and nothing, and it hits him that this is it. you’re it for him - because when he’s with you, he feels like he’s home.

- miya atsumu 

he falls for your unrelenting support

i think we all know that atsumu was left out a lot as a kid & i think that one of his biggest fears is that his loving s/o secretly prefers his brother like everyone else

so he probably tries to scare you off by showing his ugly side first- like constantly arguing with you or canceling dates in favor of an extra hour or two of volleyball practice- and you stay? 

he realizes that no matter what, you won’t leave him

“oi! what are ya still doin’ here, slug?” osamu yells, walking into the gym.

“what do ya think? havin’ a tea party?” atsumu quips back, annoyed that his brother interrupted his practice. 

osamu grabs a ball by his feet and chucks it at his brother. “do ya even know what time it is?” at atsumu’s look of confusion he decides that you’re too good for his idiot brother. “it’s already past 8, you’re late for yer movie date with y/n.”

atsumu’s eyes widen and osamu rolls his eyes at his brother’s frantic form, trying to clean up and get out of there as quickly as he can. “just go, i’ll stay to clean up.” osamu sighs, “but you owe me onigiri for a week!” 

back at your house, you’re sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for your boyfriend- who’s late, again. you jump at the frantic knocks at your front door and you open it to a very sweaty, very disheveled atsumu. 

“shit sorry babe! i left my phone on the bleachers and lost track of time but-” you cut him off with a kiss. his eyes widen before fluttering shut. 

“go shower, tsumu- you stink!” you laugh at his scowl “we can probably still get a couple movies in before my parents get back home.” 

he nods, “i really am sorry babe. i didn’t mean to come late, i just got so caught up in my serves and sets and i-”

“it’s fine love, you have to practice to get better, i understand. i would never tell you to skip out on something so important to you when you make sure to come see me in the end anyway.” you interrupt him, “and besides, i love to brag about how my boyfriend is one of the best setters in the nation” you add with a wink. 

he gives you a peck on the cheek before heading towards your bathroom, thinking about how lucky he is to have you by his side. he decides that this will be the last time he’s late because god forbid he does something to ruin something as precious as this. 

- sakusa kiyoomi

he falls for your respectful and understanding attitude

my poor baby

probably had to deal with getting so much shit for his germophobic preferences 

so when you guys started dating he def asked you to respect his boundaries 

and when you did without questioning him?? or making fun of him?? 

he was shocked because even his own cousin would have something to say about his proclivity for extreme cleanliness

you walk into the huge stadium, eyes searching for a mop of black hair, slightly terrified of getting lost. out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of neon green & yellow.

“komori!” you yell, hoping he could hear you over the excited chatter all around. you see him whip his head around, trying to find the source of the sound. you yell a couple more times, jumping up and down like a lunatic. he finally spots you and smiles, walking over.

“oh, hey! are you here for kiyoomi?” he asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes, already leading you over to where your boyfriend is, “but i have no clue why you would look for him in the middle of the floor. don’t you know your boyfriend by now?”

you slap him lightly on the arm but excuse yourself when you see your boyfriend hiding in the corner with the most hateful glare on his face. as you walk away and towards him, you notice komori walking over to a tall, dark-haired boy. that must be the setter omi was telling me about, you think. you brush it off, deciding you’d bring it up another time and you tap your boyfriend lightly. the glare he gives you almost makes you want to drop dead right there but you notice how his eyes soften and his overall demeanor brightens.

he pulls you towards him, surprising you and everyone watching, and mumbles into your ear, “i thought you had a tutoring session?”

you pull back slightly and notice how he leans down, practically asking for a kiss. you peck his cheek before giggling, “i wanted it to be a surprise! are you surprised? did you miss me?”

he rolls his eyes before pulling down his mask and kissing you properly. “yes and ... yes” he answers, a light blush apparent on his cheeks.

“awwww! you have a crush on me!!! no, you looove me!! that’s so embarrassing!!” you laugh and he shakes his head but silently agrees because yeah, if the permanent butterflies and erratic heartbeat are any indications, he does love you. and he doesn’t plan on stopping for the rest of your lives.

[rhodeys]

✨ COLORING GIFS FOR RAINBOW SETS ✨

hello!! so this ask had just been sitting in my inbox for days, and since i finally got some free time (and an incentive) i thought i’d put together a general coloring tutorial - especially for those who are interested in rainbow sets, or just want to get freaky with their gifs, hehe.

photoshop: cc 2021, but tbh this tutorial is compatible with most versions of photoshop for: beginners / anyone with a basic understanding of adjustment layers and brush tool (optional)

the tutorial will show how you can: (1) enhance colors in a neutral/washed out scene (2) change the overall color of a shot (3) make the colors bolder/stronger (4) convert the dominant color to another color

in other words: i rarely save my psds so this is what we’re stuck with

1. 

usually, when i’m making a color set, the first thing i do is open the hues/saturation layer and pull the saturation to a 100. this gives me a pretty good idea of the colour palette i can work with. and since this shot is more on the dark side, i brightened the gif a bit, and then moved saturation to a 100. this is what i get:

now that i know the dominant colour is yellow, i can drag the saturation back to 0 and start working on the actual coloring! i go to curves, and brighten the gif a little. most of the time, the white and black points (the first and the third inkdropper) does wonders in color correcting your gif. buut, marking the white point of for this gif would remove what little yellow we have, so i just did a manual adjustment until i was happy with the result.  

(since he’s a poc, i used a brush tool at 35% capacity over his face on the curves layer mask. it’s soft, and barely noticeable, but it stopped him from looking lighter, which would become a problem once we move on to the vibrance layers. basically, the lighter the subject, the more susceptible it is to being affected by color enhancing layers.)  

next, i go to the yellow hue/saturation option, and increase yellow saturation to 50. i usually don’t do this much, but the yellows are very very light in this scene, so we’re enhancing the colors wherever we can. i also lowered the intensity of the reds using these settings:

the reason i’m reducing red saturation is because - remember the dominant color on his face was red/yellow? - i don’t want my vibrance layers to end up reddening his skin too much. we already tackled a portion of this when we used the brush tool with curves, but this just ensures that the final product doesn’t have his skin looking too yellowy/funny, hehe. this is my gif after the saturation settings:

honestly, the difference is minimal, but now we have an actual color to work with. now it’s just a matter of enhancing that color. at this point, his skin may also look washed out, but the color will return once we get started with the vibrance/color layers. 

now, i open the vibrance layer, and - this is always dependent on the gif, btw - drag the sliders around until the colors are bolder. this is my gif now:

the yellows are much more evident now, and there’s a bit more color in his face - so yay! at this stage there’s really no need for selective coloring - so i’ll just add a brightness layer and another vibrance layer:

and voila!! mans lookin good

2. 

changing the overall color of the gif is a fairly easy process. i think one thing to look out for is if there are people/a lot of skin that would end up being affected by the coloring – unless there’s minimal movement that you can use a brush tool for. 

loki is more or less a silhouette in this shot, and all i’d need to do would be increase the contrast between him and the fog, and slap on a color. this can be done one of three ways: selective coloring, color balance, and gradient map. i’ll be using selective coloring here because i felt that worked best and it’s also an adjustment layer i’m most comfortable with. 

enhancing the contrast comes first, and since the brightness/contrast layer didn’t work as well as i’d hoped, i opened up the exposure layer and put in these settings:

and i get this:

now that loki is much more prominent against the fog, we can move on to the coloring. since i want it to be pink, i’m gonna open the neutral selective coloring, and use these settings:

just make sure your selective coloring is on “absolute” because it colors your gif independent of the original gif and makes your colors more strong, whereas ‘relative’ colors your gif relative to the original gif – which doesn’t work all that well for color sets. (read: makes it look ugly)

i got the color, but methinks its still a little too dull, so i’ll add a brightness/contrast layer to make the color pop

and done!!

3. 

animation gifs are much more easier to color because the colours are easily isolated, which is just chefs kiss when you use selective coloring. for this one, i just want to enhance the blues / reds, and remove the magenta tone so that the colours are more vivid. first, i increase the contrast:

it’s sharpened the colors a bit, and reduced the dullness:

now, because i want to enhance the blues/reds, and reduce the magenta, i’m going to use these settings in my selective coloring layer: 

i didn’t want to make the red too bright, since red has an annoying tendency to pixelate, and lowered the magentas just enough so that the three of them still have a bit of color on their face. now the blues: 

now that that’s done, all we need is to brighten up the gif. i’ll use curves for this:

i selected my white point (the white inkdropper) from the white part on baymax’s face (which i just realized makes no sense bc his entire face is white) which immediately brightened up the gif and erased the excess magenta. 

if you want, you could still make it brighter by selecting your white point a little towards the shadows in baymax’s face - but methinks this gif looks fine by itself ehehe 

4.

this one will be fairly easy - especially for a shot like this where it’s just blues and black - and will only require selective color and some brightness layers. so, i want to make this a violet gif. the very first thing i’ll do is open up selective coloring and enhance the blues:

idk if this is a thing others do djsajskl i feel like they do, but i do this because i’ve always found it easier to do color convert when the colors are enhanced - so, the more enhanced my blues are, the easier it is to convert to violet. this is what i have now:

now it’s time for violet!!! yee!!!

i increased the magenta in the whites because the highlights in the cloud were looking VERY white, and would end up looking very weird once i increased brightness. so this is just for…. consistency

now we can get on with brightening!! i open up the brightness/contrast layer and use these settings:

and another curves layer, where i’ve intense-ified the dark parts (the grey slider is at input: 27) and lightened the rest (the white slider is at input: 220) 

(i just feel like it makes the coloring look crispy)

and tada!!! 

i hope this helped! i’m still in the learning process when it comes to coloring, but if you have any questions/clarifications, please don’t hesitate to reach out! 

[jyndor]

I just want to point something out that I noticed some people saying about who is going to live and die in episode 6, and it specifically has to do with Vel and Cinta.

Okay so this is part of the problem with not explicitly coming out and having these characters be clearly queer - yes I know it’s annoying to think that people might have missed the wlw of it all but tbh I watched the episode the first time on my android while I was getting ready for work and I missed Skeen saying they are sharing a blanket. So I literally didn’t realize that it was textual and not just me having sapphic goggles on all the time. When it comes to wlw, people just don’t acknowledge us at all. That’s why the meme of gals being pals rings so true: because we could be fucking our literal wives in our literal beds we share together, as wives, and people would still not get the point.

And then when you’ve got Cassian trying to flirt with Cinta, you’re gonna have people thinking that she’s into it because of her vague reaction (which I think is a reaction that could be interpreted either way - yay bi/pan rep lmfao). And then that brings us to the comments I saw some people make that I just want to not necessarily shout down but more push back on a bit.

The idea is that because both the women can’t live (lmfao what) or because nearly everyone is going to die to mirror Rogue One (which I think is more likely than just killing half the women just cause idk gender equality or something ~~~) Cinta is likely to be the survivor while Vel will die because Cinta is a potential love interest for Cassian.

adjasdhakdh okay. So first off no Vel is very unlikely to die. In the trailers, Vel is seen both talking with Mon Mothma and also on Ferrix, so unless those are flashbacks (which I doubt) Vel will live at least until Cassian ends up back on Ferrix and shit hits the fan there. I don’t think she’s going to die on Aldhani (also she and Cinta might not even be a part of the heist - they were off to do their own shady sapphic sniper rifle shit at the end of the episode).

But that’s not the point. I have been worried about Cinta since I met her because:

she’s a brown woman

she’s not in any footage beyond Aldhani in the trailer iirc (please correct me if im wrong) although that doesn’t mean anything really, trailers lie

she doesn’t do a whole lot of talking

Add into the mix her queerness which is canon (they are sharing a blanket, forget the other subtext and the stuff that could of course just be explained by my desperate need to see wlw on screen) and you get another reason for me to worry about her eating it in the next episode: the bury your gays trope.

Yeah obviously I’m scared for her. Historically characters like her have been seen as expendable. And just to be clear I saw some people on twitter being all “well people saying she’s definitely going to die must see her as expendable” and... no literally I think a lot of people know the history of brown and/or queer people in film and tv (as well as the fact that Gilroy basically said don’t get attached to any of these characters because the show is gonna be a bloodbath) and so we get anxious about characters like Cinta (and Bix and Tamaryn and honestly a lot of them because it’s a very well-cast, diverse show) and how they will be treated.

I saw someone say “well people should trust these writers because they’ve done so well so far” and to that I have to be like... WHAT? First, I’m not in the habit of trusting writers of anything to do that thing right, they need to earn that trust. Especially when we are dealing with a US media conglomerate that has flat-out stolen the stories and cultures of BIPOC and whitewashed them if not making outright colonialist propaganda with them. And forget the rest of Disney: Star Wars itself is built on a foundation of orientalism and cultural appropriation.

Second, I am not going to act like the woman lead Jyn Erso didn’t lose a lot of dialogue and interesting character stuff during the reshoots Gilroy did (while Cassian gained some thank god) that ended up making her seem quiet and more passive than she appeared in the trailers. And although Gilroy and his team have done a fantastic job so far, that this is someone who is known for focusing on the stories of morally grey men (mostly white USAmerican men so kudos for Cassian bro) and very much not on women/femmes, queer people and POC and Latines.

And most importantly, I’m not going to dismiss the fact that for whatever reason, they decided that Cassian couldn’t be from Fest (an ice planet) and had to be from a warmer, rainforest-looking planet like Kenari (if Diego influenced that okay fine I’ll allow it lmfao but otherwise... I’m side-eyeing the shit out of that decision), and that he had to be an indigenous person whose language is not subtitled for whatever reason even though like nearly every other language is translated (I can only think of Shyriiwook and Tusken both not being subtitled soo... I mean yeah there’s something to that criticism I’ve seen). And of course having Cassian be “taught” how to be a revolutionary by people in privilege is... a choice.

So when people say TRUST THE WRITERS TRUST THE GILROYS lol no. I trust that they will tell a compelling, mature and thoughtful story with good commentary on a lot of things but no, I do not trust white writers who focus on the stories of white men with brown queer women.

Having a queer woman in a relationship with another woman survive solely to be the love interest of a man is foul to me, a bisexual woman who wants more bi/pan representation on screen. Having a queer woman lose her partner and then fall for a man is one thing - having it be purely in the service of furthering that man’s story is another.

Especially because of this line in Rogue One: “You're not the only one who lost everything.”

Cassian is going to lose everyone who matters to him - maybe they won’t all die but somehow he will lose them as people in his life. I don’t want to see a queer woman, especially not a queer brown woman, lose her sapphic lover to move on to Cassian, and then to be killed off solely to cut all ties with the people he cares about or be so deeply hurt by him that she has to cut him out of her life.

I’m sorry I just think that’s gross.

People die in war and in revolutions - and having a diverse cast of revolutionaries means characters of color will die. Okay, but how will the show do it? How will the show amplify the stories of revolutionary POC/queer people/women without fridging and playing up marginalized people’s pain for shock value? There’s a fine line to it.