#A few people expressed interest in my ocs and now I won’t shut up about them 😭😭😭

[mushroominaforest]

The ponytail girlies (more OC stuff lol)

You might remember Jess from this like lineup thingy

Honestly she looks way more like I picture her character in the lineup than in the closeup lol the closeup doesn’t rlly look like her imo idk

[komoreangel]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚

pairing: scaramouche x fem!reader

scenario: you met when you were both very young, and since the day he left you behind he still feels an undying fear for what sight would await him if he dared to return home.

or…

thantophobia - the fear of losing a loved one. but he had made it perfectly clear that you did not fall under that category when he left you and all of your promises behind.

request: okok my first idea was: scaramouche childhood friends to enemies to lovers. take with that what you will <3

a/n: hi anon ty so very much for the request we all know i love scara <33 but i did tweak it a bit basically its childhood friends to enemies to scara loves reader but reader isnt convinced (with a hint of 'ive always loved you' thrown in)

side note: this is a rewrite of an excerpt i wrote for a scara x oc, in which the oc was female (the same is said here but i will avoid using pronouns) and adopted into the kamisato clan as a princess (minor inazuma spoilers). the same situation is stated here. also i am 1000% willing to write more of this (includes my personal headcanons for scaramouche’s backstory, not canon!!)

growing up, you had always had poor health

your mother worried for you a lot when you were younger

she didn’t like to let you go outside much either

you spent most of your time in the palace walls while she worked, frequently being taken to see the royal physician

you would sit outside the door while your parents talked with the doctors about your “condition”

you weren’t even that sick

just weak for your age

that was when you first met him

he was training to be a soldier along his father

you were like a ghost in his eyes

sitting in the hall in the middle of the night

knees pushed to your chest, snoozing in the soft light of the moon

he was naturally a curious boy, so he kneeled in front of you and poked your shoulder

“hello?”

you startled awake

“wah-!” he fell back at your sudden movement

“who are you?” you asked

your voice was soft, and gentle, like a midnight breeze

“i’m [redacted].”

you remember what he told you, but some part of that memory had been erased from your mind…you wonder to this day what he could have said.

“my name is y/n.”

he thought it was a pretty name, although he wasn’t going to say anything

the two of you sat in the moonlight, talking quietly amongst yourselves

“why are you sitting outside the physician’s office?” he asked you

“my mama says i’m sick, and that going outside will make it worse.”

“oh. are you going to get better soon?”

you smile at him, a gesture that makes his chest tighten, although he can’t fathom why.

“yeah! she says that if we can afford to get some medicine from liyue, i’ll be all better! then i can start making friends!”

he slightly smiles

“can i be your friend, [redacted]?”

you had even said the name yourself once. why couldn’t you remember it?

his expression shifts to a slightly surprised look

“you…want to be my friend?”

he was quiet even then, and his silent expression would grow to an angry one over time

“yeah! you’re interesting, and you’re one of the few people who bothers to talk to me.”

he doesn’t speak for a while.

“you can say no if you want to.” you say to him.

“okay. i’ll be your friend.”

it’s a short response, but the bright grin that lights up your face makes it worth the wait

“yay! i can’t wait till i’m better so we can hang out more!”

you two talked in that hallway a lot

meeting after dark, talking about anything in the world

when you were about six, the worst of your illness hit you

the doctors didn’t even know what was wrong, and there were nights when he would sit outside the physician’s office alone at night, hoping, praying that the sun would shine on a world that still had you in it

you would collapse from exhaustion at the slightest overexertion

his father always told him he had to be careful with you, not only were you shorter than him, but you were also very fragile

those hours spent sitting in the hallway alone, he got to do a lot of thinking

he wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how

then, there was a sudden burst of hope

you were going to liyue with your parents

you would get the help you needed

he was happy for you, even if it meant you would have to spend time away from him

and then there was the terrible news

the ship had gone missing

you had too

he couldn’t sleep for days on end

his father was worried too

when he saw you again, you found yourself shuddering on the shores of inazuma

he wrapped his arms around you as tight as he could, as if his strength alone could undo everything that had happened

it was one of the few times he showed affection in public

he rushed you to the healer again

and this time there was no hoping

there was no praying

there was just the pit in his stomach, the fear that coursed through his veins and fueled his blood

every second felt like a decade, it was a moment in which you weren’t perfectly healthy and safe

the townspeople began to spread rumors, as people do

the guard’s son who was lovesick with worry for the sickly orphan girl

what a pity, no?

he wanted to shut them up. he wished he had the power to shut them up.

when even his father had to drag him away from the pharmacy, he didn’t talk to anyone for a very long time.

this was around the time he grew sour and snappy

his simply quiet demeanor developed into a scowl that constantly graced his face

he only smiled the day you were released from the physicians.

you weren’t fully healed. but you felt better than you ever had in your life.

his father took you in without a second thought, and he was just happy to have you with him.

“i’m better, scara.” you said to him, a happy smile on your face

“i was wondering when you’d hurry up and get well.”

you were a bit troubled by his attitude, but no less, you were happy to see your friend again.

it went like that for a long time.

he was rude, but you didn’t care because you knew what he was like underneath.

some nights he would sneak into your room and talk to you.

he told you he was just bored and felt like annoying you.

but his real reason was to make sure you were still breathing.

he always worried about you

so the day you received your vision, he felt a lot of relief

surely this meant that you could protect yourself. you were safe.

then the worst of all things happened.

his fathers death.

the day he felt like his world was ripped from underneath his feet.

almost immediately, the electro archon, baal, herself, intervened, and declared that you were to be adopted into the kamisato clan.

why you? why couldn’t he keep you with him? he was old enough to be able to take care of both of you

baal didn’t like his questioning. she said she knew what was best for you.

it was strange. because in the days he spent with you after, although not many, you didn’t seem sick at all.

for the first time, you seemed perfectly healthy.

he was glad for that…but he wasn’t happy. you could see that easily.

you knew this wasn’t the right thing for him

he stuck around for a year. you suppose you’re lucky he even stayed that long. you were pretty much his only reason.

sure he found friends in ayaka and kazuha…but he was unhappy.

he knew there was no point in staying, so he thought it was time he took his leave.

he approached you one day, as the sun began to set

you were worried for him, as he had been very angry towards baal and the emperor lately.

“scara, is there something you want to talk about?”

you watch as he stands before you

he blurts out, “run away with me.”

you’re taken aback almost immediately.

“what?”

he repeats his statement

“i’m going to flee from inazuma. come with me.”

“scara..”

his expression, as it does often these days, turns stern and serious.

“i’m not going to ask you again. come with me, y/n.”

you’re tired of him ordering you around.

“you know i can’t. i have duties here. i can’t just betray my country for you.”

“you know baal wants me gone. she’s going to kill me if i stay. she might do the same to you.”

you scoff at his words. “she won’t harm me or you. you’re being dramatic.”

he spits out his next words, laced with venom. “baal killed my father. i hate her and so should you.”

“scara.”

“it’s like you’ve completely forgotten about him just because you’re royalty now.”

“scara.”

“don’t call me scara. come with me if you ever cared at all.”

“scaramouche!”

he goes quiet

“don’t go. please.”

he frowns

“you know i can’t do that.”

you want to try and make him stay

but he won’t. you know nothing you say will convince him. he won’t let himself be convinced by you, even if that’s what he truly wants.

you inhale

“get out of here.”

“what?”

“go. leave. and take this with you.”

you throw the necklace you were wearing at him, and he catches it. baal had exiled him, it was true, but he couldn’t expect you to throw everything away for him.

“wait, what are you-“

as the two of you stare each other down, you hear ayaka’s voice coming from the courtyard, calling for you.

she has a guard with her, as the emperor assigns every royal family member. you managed to ditch yours early on.

“the guard is gonna get you if you stay, scara. get out of here, now.”

he scoffs

“whatever. i can’t believe i thought you were worth risking my life.”

he pockets the necklace and steps over the wall, and he’s gone.

nine years of friendship and he threw you away like you were nothing

in truth, the minute he was out of sight, he threw down his bag in anger

he turned around and you weren’t there anymore

you gave up on him

so if he hated you, you deserved it

it might be worth a hefty price anyway.

at least that’s what he told himself

(he never stopped missing you. almost as soon as he joined the fatui, he requested an audience with the tsaritsa to ask her how you were doing.)

“a simple agent, asking that much of me? and for a girl? that’s very bold of you.”

upon hearing it was about you, the cryo archon grew very interested. of course she remembered you.

the sickly orphan she gifted a vision to at a very young age.

she told him you were well

what she didn’t tell him was about baal going berserk and massacring thousands of her people.

upon receiving the news, he felt that chill upon him once again

the fear that fell onto his shoulders, weighing him down, too scared to ask for more information. he didn’t want to be told you were gone.

“the royal family was not harmed.”

he felt his muscles relax as he calmed down.

he quickly reassumed an upright stance.

he was the sixth harbinger. he has no weaknesses. he cares for nothing and no one.

but beneath his mask, the fire of his love for you burned brighter than the flame of any pyro vision.

a/n: ok so i really enjoyed this….scara banner when. i did tweak it a bit but i have other things written for this scenario in which scara returns to inazuma and reader is (deservingly) PISSED with him :) lmk if you want me to post those !

[love-toxin]

Hi! I’ve been reading a bunch about your new batch of oc’s (it’s really cool how they’re all super distinct from each other—that’s pretty hard to pull off, but you do it so well!) I was wondering (only if it’s ok!) to ask/req about how your new batch would react to a mouthy/sassy s/o who’s really not interested in a relationship? Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day!

merci!! ;w;

Leo

"I love you too much to let you push me around."

he may be domesticated, but there's no way he'll let your mouth run him away. he hates how much your laughter pisses him off in this moment, how it reminds him that you don't take him seriously enough to even consider his confession. nobody else makes him so crazy, so angry, so needy like the dog he's accepted that he is. you can barely collect yourself, and it's humiliating. it's all he can do to keep himself from baring his teeth and sink them into your neck to take you down and show you your place.

"are you serious, Leo?"

your voice cuts so deep into his chest, deeper than any knife of the most dire sharpness.

"this has to be a prank. you're not my type, puppy, and you know that."

you reach out to ruffle his ears, you think it's all just a joke at his own expense. you won't even look him in the eyes long enough to see how dark and cold they've become. if you don't see that he loves you now...

well, he'll just have to make it clear to everyone, so you'll never doubt him again.

Mel

"Mh? Is that an attitude I sense?"

it is. undoubtedly. but it's of little importance to him--he knows how to play this game, and he'll play it better than you ever will. you mouth off like you've never been shut up before, that much is very clear, and he didn't mind so much at first. thought it was just a little teasing back and forth, which isn't unnatural considering his personality.

but you don't wanna be his, and that's not allowed! haven't you realized by now that you're special? what the two of you have is rare, impossible even--he loves you so much he would give up his own life, and he knows you would do the same if you just admit it to yourself.

but you're so closed off. you serve back every flirtation with sass, get mouthy with him when he tries to be real and honest with you about anything, much less those times that you've been alone together and he tries to tell you how he feels.

this isn't how things are supposed to be. he won't let you shy away from the most passionate love he'll ever let you experience.

Noel

"Please, just listen to me....I love you."

how could you do this to him? just stop, pause, and stare right into his soul....and give him attitude? you're gonna make jokes like he didn't just pour his whole heart out to you?

what else can he do, now? he feels so lost, and for once your smile can't comfort him when you're holding back saying something rude to him. he doesn't want to cry, he wants to be strong, but the tears spill down his cheeks whether he wants them to or not.

"c'mon Noel, you know I don't want to be with you. is it really such a surprise?"

oh, now you've done it. his tears will abide soon, but only because he's realized what you're doing now.

you're just trying to string him along. test him to see if he's worthy enough to deserve being yours. and with that in the back of his head, he can find the strength to smile through the pain in his heart--because nobody has more patience than he does, and you'll understand just how much of your abuse he'll endure for the sake of your love.

Vivi

"So feisty, so cute! That's all I need to hear. You're mine."

it's adorable how you think a little brattiness will get you off the hook. don't you realize she's the master of this little game you've got going on? a few little scathing remarks aren't gonna make her run with her tail between her legs--in fact, quite the opposite. she loves the chase, after all.

"yeah right, Vivi. I don't think so, but thanks anyway."

aww, are you getting a little scared? she can see the twitch of your fingers against your arm, that look in your eye that befits an animal of prey. you couldn't get rid of her if you tried, and even if you did it would just end up pissing her off. so you keep hiding behind that wall of words you always put up to protect yourself, but she's gonna tear it down in seconds and take you for herself if you're not careful.

oh, dear. she didn't just say all that out loud, did she? your eyes are really struck with terror now...but it's such a cute look, isn't it? it really suits you more than all that attitude you like to give.

"just be still, darling." it'll hurt a lot more than your words ever could, otherwise.

Avi

"Settle down, little red. Don't make me bite you."

he's always liked playing with his food, but you bring a whole new meaning to that. you distract him with your little remarks and snarky comments, sometimes so much so that he forgets how perfect you would look with his teeth against your throat. he could choke you down and spit you up, churn you up from the inside out and leave you wanting more, absolutely ruin you so nobody else would even think of picking up such a filthy little pet.

and you still give him the best view of that pretty little mouth of yours. just that one comment alone has you giving him lip like your life depends on it, but all he can see is your energy wearing down bit by bit, your breaths getting slower with every passing word you spit back at him with more sass than you should be allowed. maybe he'll suit you up with a muzzle if you get this mouthy on your way back to his place.

just wear yourself out, he thinks to himself. you can't keep up the chase forever, little red.

Leigh

"I think you need to wash your mouth out."

does it not sound as serious when it comes from him? you laugh like you think he's joking, but he couldn't be more sincere. you like to tease him but this is different, this stings right in his heart and you know exactly how to twist the knife so it'll hurt the most. he can already imagine the expression you'll make when he grabs you by the jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks so you'll open up and he can squirt a bit of soapy foam on to your little pink tongue. just so you know he's really serious...but he can't stop thinking of sticking something else in there too, something that will really show you how serious he is.

he doesn't remember every little comment or ill-spirited jab, but the pang in his chest when you brush off his compliments and flirtations is enough for him to know it happens more often than it needs to. you're just being difficult for attention, and that's okay. you just need more of it, that's all, and who better to give it to you than him?

who better, darling? he'll wait for your answer, as long as it'll take to hear his name on the tip of your tongue.

Thorn

"Are you sure you wanna play this game with me?"

it's less of a question, more of a test. Thorn likes to drop these little riddles into your lap, and stand back to see how you'll react when he does. it's field research.

"you're gonna lose anyways, so what does it matter?"

oh, how cheeky. you always surprise him no matter what he throws at you, and this is no different--but this time he's just sick and tired of the answer. it's always the same no matter which way you phrase it, like unwrapping a candy and finding each one to be your least favourite flavour. there's always a part inside of him that thinks you're gonna change your mind one day, as if by a magical transformation--but no, you refuse, and to be honest it's really starting to irritate him.

you really don't know how good you could have it, do you? you don't understand how much he's been doing out of sight, and for you out of mind, just to ensure your happiness. you're royalty, and you don't even know it even when your prince is staring you right in the eyes, begging for the smallest scrap of your attention.

but you'll be the one begging soon. he knows it for sure.

Ilya

"That's enough out of you."

you may find it funny, but he doesn't think the same about you mocking him. sometimes he dreams about slapping that stupid little smirk off your face, but he's swiftly reminded that that may garner him the opposite reaction that he wants. people don't often take kindly to violence, that's right....but oh, you make it look so tempting. perhaps one day he'll get the chance to feel your throat bend beneath his palms, and listen to those sweet cries sputtering off your lips as you gasp for air....but you have to accept his love first, and you've promised him that it's never going to happen.

don't you realize how it breaks his heart? that your rejection time and time again is enough to make him feel like he may just die without you? why do you always do this to him?

he just has to collect himself. breathe. remember that your constitution is much weaker than his--you can't keep up this fight forever, and once you realize that he has no intention of letting you be loved by another soul on this earth, that's when he'll swoop in and claim you all for himself.

[fanfic-cave]

Nightmare

Rating: SFW/PG

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairing: Hunter x GN!Reader

Warnings: Fluff and cuddles. Waking up from nightmare. 2 people sharing a bed. Thats pretty much it

Summary: You've been having nightmares, Hunter notices and tries to help you sleep.

Authors note: I needed some wholesome fluff with my comfort character so enjoy my one shot! (any of my peeps who've read my OC stuff, this could technically be her) also i know the havoc is prob too small for you to have your own room but this makes me happy so damn the continuity

@mangoberry99

You woke up with a start, sitting straight up in bed. Your skin felt clammy, and you were gasping for air.

Another nightmare. Just a nightmare. You thought. You had to remind yourself, convince yourself. In the haze of waking up your nightmare had felt so real, but it was the same nightmare you’d had recently. You knew it wasn’t real.

You studied your room, recognizing that you were aboard the Havoc Marauder. I’m fine.

You pulled back the covers, sat up, and slipped out of the bed. Your feet stepped onto the cold metal floor and you started walking towards the bedroom door. Staying in here won’t help, I don’t feel anything close to tired right now.

You tiptoed and quietly opened the door. On the other side of it, just a few feet away, you were surprised to see Hunter. He stood leaned against the wall. He hair was a bit messy, and he was wearing some loose fitting pajamas. You could tell he had been in bed. “Can’t sleep?” He asked you.

“Something like that.” You stood awkwardly for a second. Hunter only watched you as you stood at the doorway. It looked like he was inspecting you, deciding what to say next. “You wanna talk about it?” He tried to seem casual about it. He was curious, hence him asking the question, but you can tell he didn’t want to seem pushy.

You sighed. “Just some intense dreams. I haven’t been able to sleep through them lately.” You surrendered the answer to him. Normally you liked to keep to yourself, but sharing with Hunter seemed natural, and easy for you the more time you spent with him. He had asked, and you thought he deserved the truth instead of you dodging the question.

He frowned at your answer. “Nightmares?” He questioned. You looked away and nodded. “They’ll go away. Eventually, I’m sure.” I’m definitely not sure. Based on his expression, Hunter seemed to pick up that you weren’t as confident as you sounded.

Realization came upon you. “Hunter I didn’t wake you, did I?” He didn’t give you a verbal answer, just avoided eye contact. You groaned “I’m sorry, I should’ve been more quiet.”

“That’s not the only reason I’m up.” You waited for him to continue. He walked across the hall, then stopped to stand beside you. He sighed, and looked into your eyes. He was closer now, and you felt your stomach do excited summersaults. “I’ve noticed you haven’t been sleeping well. I wanted to come check on you, see if there was anything I could do.” He looked at you with worry on his face. “It’s not good for you to be losing sleep through the night.”

You frowned at him. Inwardly though, you felt your heart pound and your face felt warm. He noticed? He’s worried about me? “Well, if I had any control over it I definitely would opt out of the sleepless nights. I’m just not sure what to do.” You put a hand to your forehead as you spoke, closing your eyes. You felt more stressed, now that your wakeful nights were having an immediate effect on those around you. You didn’t like your personal problems becoming other people’s problems. You pinched the bridge of your nose, wishing you could fix it now and let Hunter rest.

You felt a hand rest on your shoulder. You opened your eyes and looked to see Hunter had been watching you, but he looked less worried. “I actually have an idea.” You raised an eyebrow curiously. “Get back into bed, I’ll be right back.” You watched him walk away, heading down the hall quietly.

You complied with Hunters request, and returned to your room, laying on your cot. I wanted to leave, not stay in here. You thought begrudgingly. Really though, you were willing to give anything a shot at this point. You saw Hunter return with a glass of water. Your eyebrows knit together. “Just water?” You eyed him doubtfully.

“This isn’t the only thing, drink up.” He replied. You took the glass and sipped at it. He took a seat at the edge of your bed, and you felt your curiosity grow. After a few sips, you set the drink aside. “Okay… now what?” You inquired.

“Well,” Hunter began. This should be interesting. “Back when Omega had nightmares, we would get her a drink, and stay with her until she fell asleep. It helped, so I thought we could give it a try.” You smiled at the story. Hunter seemed a bit bashful about it, rubbing his neck, his eyes avoiding you.

“Well, I guess we can try that, but I might disappoint you.” Hunter looked back to you. “Don’t worry about that, just try resting.” You sighed and got back under the covers, resting your head on the pillow. Occasionally you peeked a glance at Hunter, he was leaning back on his hands, looking away from you. You tried shutting your eyes and ignoring him, but it didn’t seem to work. You tried shifting around in bed. Nope, not working.

You huffed. “I don’t think I’m gonna get to sleep. You don’t need to stay, I can manage.” You had your eyes closed when you said this. After a moment of not hearing a response, you felt a hand touch your cheek gently. You opened your eyes and turned to face Hunter, blush filling your cheeks. Stop it! You said to yourself. You hope Hunter didn’t notice it, but you’re sure he could see the blush.

“Is this okay?” Hunter asked.

“Yes.” You replied instantly. You blushed more. Stop acting like a youngling. You growled at yourself. You’re a grown adult.

Hunters hand held your face, and his thumb moved gently across your cheek. You felt your body relax as he did this. You hadn’t even realized that you were this tense. Hunters hand moved to reach the back of your neck, while his thumb was still stroking your cheek softly. More butterflies fluttered in your chest.

“You can lay down, if that’s more comfortable.” You turned onto your side as you said it, feeling brave, but not brave enough to look at him as you said it. You breathed deeply, feeling nervous excitement. You felt the bed shift as Hunter moved into the bed behind you. He slipped under the covers. You felt his leg against one of yours, and your feet reflexively moved to wrap around his leg.

Hunter shivered a bit. “Maker, your feet are cold.” You laughed softly, feeling a bit giddy that he was this close to you. “Sorry, I can move.” You started to pull away. "No-" you felt a hand on your thigh, stopping your movement. “It’s okay.” You froze, and you felt Hunter pull your feet back in, your left foot was between his leg and the bed, your right foot between both his legs. It was quite warm.

You felt Hunters hand move up to your waist, and he pulled you into him. An electric current pulsed through you as you could feel his body against yours. The rest of him was warm too. You relaxed against him, his arm securely around your waist. You felt your eyes start to get heavy, feeling very comfortable. “Still okay with this?” Hunter whispered in your ear. “Mmhm.” You managed to get out.

You heard a quiet laugh. You felt lips press against you, just behind your ear. “Go to sleep, Y/N.” You felt his breath against your cheek as he whispered to you. You drifted off within another minute, no nightmares waiting for you.

[edenstorm]

i was thinking of getting back into sky but i would want to ask any better with... not being greedy i guess

If you’re asking abt TGC’s practices, I’d say it’s kind of a mixed bag?

On the one hand, we’ve got the recent decision to bring back past ults as slightly altered “new” ults (compare this season’s ult hair to the rhythm ult hair to see what I mean). It’s nice that they’re bringing them back, but obviously one example is not enough to call this a trend and I don’t know which or how many past ults we can expect to see this happen to, if any more at all. I’d say this is a step in a positive direction, regardless - less old cosmetic exclusivity means TGC is at least somewhat considering newer players’ opinions/self expression, and hopefully it will help to cut down the “vet superiority/ego/toxicity” mentality I’ve seen growing over the past year or so.

Another positive change, I’d say, is the introduction of permanent wax afk spots. It doesn’t fix the repetitive grind issue because of the whole afk timer nonsense, but it’s nice to see at least. They seem to be adding more every so often.

On the other hand, they still haven’t reversed or even commented on the heart friend update that prompted that one letter I wrote to tgc, or the afk timer that literally nobody asked for. The new constellation menu is visually and mechanically confusing, and it’s a massive step backwards in accessibility for the visually impaired. I won’t spoil it, but there’s an item in beta right now that’s a reskin of an existing item, and they initially priced it the same as the Halloween witch pants (a completely unique model.) (they have since lowered the price by about $5, but it’s still. a reskin. of an otherwise free item. that they are planning to charge $10 for. I could get 100 frozen chicken nuggets at Walmart for that price, and again, this is a reskin with a few minor changes.) That and… is it just me, or are IAPs getting more expensive lately? The Days of Nature turtle seems like it should be priced the same as most small accessories at a couple bucks but instead it’s like $15. Granted, it comes with $10 worth of seasonal candles, but the fact that there isn’t an option to buy it without the bundle so you’re forced to buy the candles for a way larger pricetag just feels… bleh. (On the note of reskins, I feel like a point I don’t see brought up much is that the performance ult hair being essentially a tweaked model of the rhythm hair seems… inefficient? on the one hand, it’s a nice hair and there are people who prefer the new version to the old. on the other, it’s wasted potential for a completely new and unique ultimate reward for the season, and it means past ults likely will never come back. sure, we might get a new version, if we’re lucky, but if you don’t like it as much as the old one… well, tough. this shuts down any plea we might have for a re-release of old ults.)

tl;dr - sky is a fun game to play with friends, but honestly, I don’t play it for the game itself anymore. I play it for dressup and to hang out with a couple friends I’ve dragged into or met within the game/community over the time I’ve played. Overall, I don’t think the game has improved as much as it has gotten better in some areas and worse in others. I won’t discourage giving it a shot, you might like the changes! but personally, I’ve fallen out of love with the game lately, and only really hop on for dailies to get clothes to play dressup with. made some neat ocs that I’ll be porting to more permanent interests (like my ttrpg setting) and made a lot of fond memories but I don’t really see myself enjoying the game like I used to unless a lot of fixes are made.

[official-weasley]

Bill's Secret - (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)

Warnings: Fluff 💙

Word count: 3,825

Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here

Nova

“Okay, okay, let's try this again.” I heard Charlie say as I came back from getting our mail.

“You won't give up, will you?” I giggled.

He was kneeling in front of the sofa, helping Aoede to sit. She is almost six months old now and showed some interest in doing it and now Charlie has been giving it his all to be the first one to see her sit properly.

He missed her first smile and her first giggle. And the first time she rolled over on her own and the first time she crawled all due to work. Each time he came home and I told him about something new she did, he was sad and upset that he was missing on so many firsts.

Since we were planning to go to England for the first time since we moved into our new home, Charlie took a few more days off because he was determined to be the first one to see her do something new.

“Never,” Charlie said, clapping his hands to encourage Aoede.

“You do have to help her a little, you know?” I pressed my lips together, observing the scene.

“I know, but we keep falling to the side, don't we.” He booped Aoede's nose, pretending to be disappointed. “But daddy won't give up on you. No, he won't. He believes in his baby girl!” He said in a baby voice.

Charlie was making fun out of me and my mum whenever we talked to Aoede using a baby voice. He couldn't stop laughing when Bill did it the last time he came to visit us and he said that he would never talk to our children in such a funny voice but who's laughing now!

“Nice voice, Charles.” I laughed and sat down at the kitchen table and went through the envelopes.

“Oh, shush! You do it all the time.” Charlie tried defending himself, standing up.

“You said you will never talk in this voice.” I teased.

Aoede apparently found our conversation funny because she started giggling, looking up at Charlie.

“What you laughing for, huh?” Charlie kneeled back to her with the biggest grin on his face – Aoede's giggles were his favorite sound now.

While Charlie started clapping again, hoping this will be the day Aoede sits I give the letters in front of me my full attention.

There was one from my mum telling us how excited she is to see us again and that she got a whole week off to be with us. There was one from Molly asking when exactly we are coming and that our room is already ready. One was from Ginny as she told us all about the adventures she and Aoede will have as this will be the first time Charlie's younger siblings will see their niece and due to the number of letters we got from them all, we couldn't decide who was the most excited to spend time with her.

The last letter was from Bill and I looked to see what Charlie was doing before opening it. Bill had a secret which he only told me about 8 months ago and only because I cornered him, knowing something was going on and I knew he wanted to talk about it but was too shy.

He made me promise that I won't tell anyone – not ever Charlie – and now he sends me a letter here and there about it so I have to be careful not to let Charlie see anything.

“What? What is it?”

I read through Bill's letter and the news he shared with me shocked and excited me so much that I let out a loud gasp which alarmed Charlie.

“Oh, nothing.” I quickly folded the letter. “Let's just say, we are going to make one more stop when we come to England.” I couldn't stop a big smile from spreading all over my lips.

“That face doesn't say nothing.” Charlie picked up Aoede, his eyes narrowed.

“Who's the letter from? Is Penny finally pregnant?” He walked to me, trying to peek at what the letter says.

“No, it's not about Penny.” I sighed.

Penny and Andre have been trying to have another baby for a few years now but it just wasn't happening for them. They visited doctors all over Europe to find out what could be wrong since they didn't have any problems getting pregnant with Joanna. All had the same answer – just keep trying. So now, every time we get a letter from her we hope she brings good news.

“The letter is from Bill!” Charlie took the letter from me and tried opening it with one hand while holding Aoede with his other.

“Charlie, give it back!” I stood up, taking a deep breath.

If he reads that letter he is going to be so confused.

“Why don't you want me to read it?” He looked at me bemused, once I snatched the letter from him. “Are you sharing juicy secrets? Are you talking about feelings and his love life?” Charlie said dramatically.

“For a matter of fact, yes,” I said nonchalantly, waiting for his reaction.

“Hold up. Really?” Charlie forgot how to close his mouth, giving Aoede to me.

“For a while now.” I decided to tell him as slowly as possible.

“What's a while for you?” He eyed me suspiciously.

“A year.”

“A YEAR?!” Charlie's voice was so high-pitched that it made Aoede laugh. “He is in a relationship for a year? He was in a relationship when we got married?”

“They were just acquaintances back then, they started dating at the end of August but he told me when he was here for New Year's,” I explained.

“You have known for so long and you didn't tell me?” Charlie sounded offended. “Why not?”

“Because Bill asked me to.”

“Why?”

“Because he really likes this girl and he didn't want to jinx anything by telling too many people. I wouldn't know either if I didn't know him so well and figured it out on my own.” “How did you know?” Charlie pursed his lips, sitting down next to me, fully invested in Bill's little secret.

“It was written all over his face.” I giggled reminiscing on the moment.

We invited Bill to spend the New Year with us and as we were sitting outside – Charlie setting up the fireworks with Andrei that Fred and George left us from the wedding – Bill couldn't stop smiling and I knew something was up at once. At first, he was too shy to say anything but once he started talking about a girl he met at work he couldn't shut up about her.

I, of course, couldn't be happier. I always knew that he will find the right girl to settle down with, it was only a matter of time. And since he told Charlie about all the girls he dated through the years and kept this one a secret from everyone, I knew she was someone special.

“But I'm his brother. How did I not see it?” Charlie furrowed his brows. “Char, during my pregnancy a dragon could fly right above your head and you would miss it that's how excited you were for us to have a baby.” I giggled.

“True.” He finally gave up with a big smile over his lips. “So how's it going? Is he happy with this girl?”

“Since he wrote that he bought a wedding ring, I think so. What'd you reckon?”

“He did what?! Don't you think that's a little too fast? Where's the rush? They should get to know each other better. How does he know that she's the right one for him?” Charlie's voice was high-pitched again making it good entertainment for our daughter.

“Char, your Molly is showing,” I said with a smug expression on my face.

Charlie and his mum might not agree on many things – especially when it comes to Aoede – but sometimes when he's not thinking clearly he says the things Molly would usually say.

“Right, sorry.” He looked at me apologetically.

“It's alright. Get it all out now, because you are not saying those things in front of Bill.”

“You know I just don't want to see him get hurt again.” Charlie sighed.

“I know.”

I stood up, gave him Aoede, and walked to the hallway to the drawer where we kept letters. I put those from Bill talking about his girlfriend on a special pile and hid them behind the letters from my mum, knowing that Charlie would never look there if he got suspicious of me hiding something.

I put the letters on the table, took Aoede from him again, and nodded for him to start reading.

“Are you sure he wouldn't mind?” Charlie asked, already holding the first letter.

“In the letter he sent me today he said to tell you so that you won't be completely shocked when we go and visit them.” I giggled, getting comfy on the sofa with Aoede.

“Don't you dare make her sit,” Charlie observed what I was doing.

“I won't. I promise you'll be the first to see her sit properly.” I put my hand on my chest.

I played with Aoede, trying to make her giggle as many times as possible while Charlie was reading the letters.

“He sounds really happy with her.” Charlie finally spoke.

“I told you not to judge too quickly.” I motioned for him to join us.

“And he's dating Fleur Delacour!” He exclaimed. “She was nice at the tournament and the way she handled that dragon was amazing!”

“So do you approve?” I teased.

“I'll have to meet her but what I've read so far, I approve.” Charlie tried having a strict and serious voice.

—

“Alright, let's go through it again.” I opened the bag we had ready for Aoede.

“Her bottle?” Charlie started counting on his fingers.

“Check.”

“Her pacifier?”

“Check.”

“Her other pacifier because she keeps making the first one disappear?”

“Check.”

“The blanket she can't fall asleep without?”

“Check!”

“Baby wipes, diapers, tissues?”

“Check, check and...check!”

“Baby food?”

“I have a few bottles but we'll buy more in London.”

“Okay, then I think we have everything. Do you think we have everything, Aoede?” Charlie picked her up from the sofa next to the bag and tickled her belly, making Aoede reply to him with giggles.

We are both proud of how well we were handling parenthood. I am not going to lie, we were a bit sleep-deprived the first two months but after that, we have been doing pretty good. Charlie has been of immense help ever since Aoede has been born, making it easier for me and I am proud to say that we are quite a team when it comes to handling the baby.

Aoede has been an angel so far. Giggling and making bubbles more than crying which, I am sure, made things easier on us, and from what we have heard from other parents we are doing just fine for our first time.

Due to everyone in the Sanctuary being over the roof that someone had a baby, we can find someone to babysit whenever needed. Andrei is always the first in line when we ask and loves spending time with her, saying that they have the best conversations.

My mum likes to come and visit us whenever she gets a chance – which is at least once per week now as she would make any excuse to be with her granddaughter.

With so many people fighting over who will take care of her, Charlie and I can have some quality alone time – going on a date once a week and just enjoy being a married couple in love.

We took a plane ride for the first time in our lives. Neither Charlie and I wanted to apparate or use a Portkey with Aoede so flying with a plane was the next best thing. Charlie was already preparing himself to answer all the questions Arthur is going to ask him about our experience.

We had a pleasant flight. Both of us agree that we should do it more often. It might take longer than any magical transport but it was much safer for our daughter. My mum picked us up at the airport and we spend a week with her so that she could be with her granddaughter as much as possible.

Then we headed to the Burrow where Charlie's younger siblings took Aoede from us the second we said that they could play with her. Charlie was freaking out at first, running after them, following their every move making sure they are taking proper care of Aoede. But once he saw how gentle they were and that they mostly just sat around her and tickled her to hear her giggle and see her smile he calmed down.

As he predicted he had to tell Arthur about our flight in excruciating detail while I helped Molly in the kitchen and answered all the baby questions Ginny had. I loved how excited all of them were to be with their niece and for some reason it made Fred and George behave more.

Molly got the letter from Bill that he is coming in a few days and bringing someone with him and she desperately tried to get it out of me who it is. I knew that Bill wanted to tell them on his own so I stayed quiet, leaving Molly disappointed.

After a week at the Burrow, it was time for us to make one final stop before we would return to Romania. We needed 2 hours to say goodbye to Charlie's family as the twins hid Aoede from us to prevent us from leaving. Ginny tried her best to make her sweet, puppy eyes but she was too old now to make it work while Molly tried bribing us with cookies.

I understood that they missed us so much – us living so far away – and it warmed my heart to see how attached all of them got to Aoede. I wish we could stay longer but Charlie has to go back to work in a few days and he would never let us stay back in England – he was too protective of us to do so.

—

“Are you nervous?” I asked as we stepped out of the car my mum lent us.

“To meet Fleur or to ask him what we're here to ask him?” Charlie pressed his lips together.

“Both.” I chuckled.

“No,” Charlie shook his head, “I can't wait to see him cry though.” He giggled and knocked on the door.

“Here's my beautiful niece!” Bill exclaimed the second he opened the door.

“We are happy you are so delighted to see me and Nova,” Charlie said sarcastically.

“It's good to see you both too, but you can't beat Aoede's cuteness.” Bill hugged us both before giving me the biggest smile that let me know he wanted to hold Aoede.

He motioned with his hand to invite us inside and closed the door behind us.

“Nova, did you tell Charlie about...”

“I did.” I grinned, making Bill sigh in relief.

“She's in the living room,” Bill whispered, pointing with his finger.

“'ello. I am Fleur. So nice to finally meet you.” Fleur who was sitting on the sofa got up the second she saw us.

“Hi! My name is Nova and it's nice to finally meet you too. I have heard so much about you!” I smiled at her, making her blush.

I extended my hand for her to shake but she walked toward me with her arms opened and pulled me in a hug.

“And I remember you, Charlie. From the tournament.” She turned around, shaking his hand, not sure if he would return her hug as I did.

“Nice to see you again, Fleur.” Charlie bestowed her with a soft smile, his gaze switching between her and Bill.

“And zis must be your lovely daughter, Ayedee,” Fleur exclaimed, stepping closer to Bill to see her.

“Aoede.” Charlie corrected her, clearing his throat.

“Oh, I am zo zorry. My English iz not ze best yet.” Fleur smiled sheepishly, admiring Aoede.

“It's okay, you're not the first one to get her name wrong.” I chuckled.

I followed Fleur into the kitchen to help her prepare dinner, while Charlie stayed in the living room with Bill and our little girl.

The more I talked to Fleur the more I liked her. She was really sweet, just as Bill described her to me in his letters. She was kind and family-oriented just like Bill was, making them a perfect match. She kept asking me everything about us and Romania and Aoede and our experience with buying a house as they were looking to do the same once they marry.

It was useless to beat around the bush, pretending I don't know they got engaged since Bill told me and she told me how he proposed to her and how pleasantly surprised she was even though she wanted to marry Bill after their first date.

There was not a single doubt in my mind that she was the right girl for him as she showed just with the way she spoke about him just how much she not only loves but admires him.

“Need any help here?” Charlie leaned in the doorway with what looked like tears in his eyes, interrupting our conversation.

“Zank you, Charlie. We are managing just fine.” Fleur replied shyly.

»I zink Bill asked 'im to be 'is best man.« Fleur turned back to me as she saw my concerned and puzzled face why Charlie was on the verge of tears.

»Of course.« I giggled.

I knew what an honor that was for Charlie and since he only found out about Fleur a few weeks ago this must've been a pleasant surprise.

“You don't have to be intimidated by him, he's a big teddy bear,” I whispered to her after seeing she was nervously biting her lip.

“Bill said ze same zing,” Fleur sighed, “but it iz important to me for 'im and you to like me because you are William's best friends and closest family.”

“If it helps, I already like you.” I gave her a reassuring smile.

“Look at you sit all by yourself! You're such a big girl! Nova, I didn't know she could do this already!”

Before Fleur could say anything to my comment, Bill's baby voice made us look toward the living room.

“No, no, no! You did not!” Charlie rushed past us from the bathroom, pretty sure he forgot to flush, and went to the living room to see what was going on.

“Aoede,” he cried, “this is unbelievable. We have been trying for the past month and I just leave you alone with uncle Bill for one minute and you do it.”

“What is going on?” Fleur and I joined them.

“Look, Nova! She's sitting!” Charlie said with a shaky voice, extending both of his hands at Aoede.

“Oh, look at you! You are such a good girl!” I exclaimed, leaning to my daughter and gently brushing her cheek with my finger.

“Did I do something wrong?” Bill asked puzzled.

“Charlie is upset because he missed a lot of firsts due to being at work and he has been trying to get Aoede to sit on her own since his vacation and couldn't manage to do it and now he missed it,” I explained, feeling bad for Charlie.

“This was her first time?” Bill said in a whisper, tears in his eyes, proud that he was a part of this moment.

“Yeah, rub it in, why don't you.” Charlie scoffed, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Char, you'll get other firsts, I promise,” I said gently, hugging him from behind. “Don't be sad. Just look at how cute she is sitting.”

“She's adorable.” Charlie sniffed and kneeled next to Aoede to admire her new accomplishment.

After dinner and us celebrating their engagement, Charlie and I sat on the sofa, while Fleur and Bill were playing with Aoede on her blanket on the floor. We couldn't stop staring at them, they were so good with her. After about 15 minutes of Aoede's constant giggling, her eyes switching from Bill and Fleur as they played Peek-a-boo with her, Charlie and I exchanged looks and knew it was time to what Charlie called 'make Bill cry'.

“So,” Charlie cleared his throat, “we wanted to ask you both something.”

I looked at Charlie with my eyebrows raised as he said both.

“She's really nice, okay. You were right and I was wrong.” He playfully rolled his eyes at me.

“I told you you'll like her.” I giggled. “So, we're going with the both of them?”

“If you still want to. It was your idea.” Charlie planted a kiss on my forehead.

“I do and I am glad you agree with me.” I bestowed him with a soft smile before turning back to the trio on the floor.

“Sorry, did you say something to us?” Bill finally tore his eyes off his niece.

“Charlie said that we have to ask you something.” I chuckled.

“Okay.” Bill picked Aoede up, placing her in a sitting position on his lap, while she had her hand wrapped around Fleur's finger.

“We were wondering if you'll be Aoede's godparents?” Charlie asked softly.

“What?” Fleur gasped, her mouth open. “You mean Bill being 'er godfazer?”

“No, we want both of you.” I smiled at her.

“But you 'ave just met me,” Fleur said in shock.

“Not really,” I said, winking at Bill who told me more than enough about her in his letters for me to know that we are making the right decision and what I have seen tonight and her being so great with our baby girl, only made me more sure that she should be her godmother.

“I-” Bill didn't know what to say. “Really?” He breathed.

“Oh, come on. Are you really that surprised?” Charlie chuckled. “Who else would we trust her with if not you?”

“Are you sure?” Fleur asked.

“Yes.” Charlie and I said in unison.

“Oh, Charlie, Nova, we would be delighted!” Bill said with a shaky voice.

“Zis is such an 'onor. I don't know what to zay.” Fleur blinked fast a few times to stop her eyes from watering.

We stood up to join them on the floor and hugged them both, Aoede observing us, making a bubble with her mouth.

“Thank you for trusting Fleur so much,” He whispered to me as we hugged.

“She's perfect for you, Bill,” I whispered back, bestowing him with a smile.

“Wow...this...I...I can't believe I'm her godfather!” Bill stuttered after a few seconds of silence, a tear running down his cheek.

“I told you he will cry.” Charlie leaned to me, giggling, happy that his prediction came true.

[vizhi0nw]

Confidence

Pairing: Porco/OC/Reiner

Warnings: NSFW - oral (male/female receiving) handjobs, threesome, face riding.

Words: 4k

I’ve never written a fic for SNK before but I decided...why not. I hope I did Porco and Reiner justice. This is just smut with some backstory and feels (Reiner needs a big hug)

                                                          ---

“Reiner always looks so....sad,” Samira murmured into Porco’s ear. “Like he’s got a lot of thoughts cooped up in his head and doesn’t know how to let them out.”

Porco hummed absently. He, like Samira, couldn’t take his eyes off Reiner. The tall blonde was listening to Zeke speak with half-hearted enthusiasm, his posture slack and his head tilted to one side. His entire demeanor, the entire act screamed discontent. Like he’d given up even attempting to take pointers from Zeke and was instead more interested in the little line of fire ants crawling across the dirt next to the heel of his shoe. 

Samira and Porco were a little ways away, cooped up on a rickety wooden bench, away from the training ground. It was tucked away, secluded, and in the shade - it was the perfect little metaphor for her relationship with Porco, Samira mused. Tucked away. Secluded. She was well aware that people knew she and Porco were together, but it wasn’t something Porco had yet to feel comfortable flaunting in front of Zeke or the other warriors - though, Samira knew he’d like nothing more than to rub it in the Jeager’s face - for reasons she had yet to uncover. 

When Samira looked at Porco, his eyes were still trained on Reiner. His brow was furrowed, lips pulled taut into a line. It was one of the very few times Samira couldn’t read him, and it always seemed to happen when he was gazing at the blonde Warrior who had been a source of flickering ire in his life for as long as Samira could remember. 

She leaned up and gently kissed the exposed skin of Porco’s neck before nipping at his earlobe. “First Reiner, now you. Why the face?”

“He doesn’t have anything to be sad about. Not after I saved his ass on the battlefield,” Porco murmured. “I don’t know what goes on in that brick of a head of his.”

“Maybe you - we - should ask.”

“Maybe I don’t want to know,” Porco turned back to face Samira. “I’d much rather think about what’s going on in your head than his.”

“You already know because I tell you,” Samira giggled as Porco’s mouth covered her own, his kisses quick and demanding but to the point and oh-so arden - all him. When he pulled away, Samira tilted her head in Reiner’s direction. “We should talk to him. I know you don’t like to admit it to yourself, but you’re his friend.”

Porco snorted. “Yeah, sure.”

“Pock.”

“Friends on the battlefield, acquaintances off,” Porco replied. “If you insist on talking to him, go ahead. I won’t stop you.” 

Samira didn’t have to go far. Reiner was already heading towards them, his expression the same as before, though a bit less forlorn. Samira gently separated herself from Porco, leaving her partner to sit, arms crossed and with a sour expression on his face.

“Did Zeke chew you out too badly?” Samira inquired.

Reiner shrugged. “Not...as badly as he normally does. What I did on the battlefield was stupid. Reckless. I understand that now.”

“You’re back safe. That’s all that really matters,” Samira said softly. Reiner’s eyes widened a bit, and he nodded his head robotically. Samira could see the flush creeping up his neck to his cheeks, and she was glad Porco had decided to focus his attention on a browning blade of grass. 

Reiner, bless him, had always been terrible at hiding the fact that he was rather enamored with Samira. More than once, Samira had caught him gazing at her with half-lidded eyes, and he always seemed hesitant to approach, especially when Porco was around. Reiner wasn’t one to exacerbate tension, and Samira was positive he’d been spending prior months trying to crush whatever feelings he had for Samira with the same force and drive he used to crush enemies on the battlefield as the Armored Titan. To Reiner, Samira was unobtainable.

Perhaps his sadness was a byproduct of that. Samira wasn’t sure, but she felt she owed it to Reiner - he was a kind man, and his sense of duty rivaled that of Porco. He’d been one of the few people who had stuck up for Samira when Zeke had made it very clear that he harbored no fondness towards her. He was also heavily burdened with emotions from his experiences on Paradis, something Porco had only told her about in passing. Whatever had happened, whatever Reiner had done or seen, had changed him. 

“I’m back, but at what cost?” Reiner murmured. “I...I shouldn’t burden you with my problems, Sam. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I just noticed that you seemed upset. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m available. So is Porco, to be honest. I know he’s an ass but he does care about you,” Samira glanced back towards her partner. “Bottling things up isn’t healthy. Trust me, I know.”

Reiner let out a long sigh. He seemed as if he wanted to talk further, but pulled himself away. “I appreciate that.”

Samira squeezed his arm as he walked past. She felt him stiffen beneath her touch, briefly, before his stride increased and he almost hurried away. Porco finally lifted his head to watch Reiner disappear back inside, once again sporting that same unreadable expression as before. 

One day, Samira would figure out what that expression meant.

                                                         ---

Porco squeezed out the sponge, letting a cascade of hot, soapy water run down the smooth expanse of Samira’s back. 

He felt content to just look at her like she was his prize, which she was. His greatest prize, more important and valuable than any victory on the battlefield. More important than Marley itself, though Porco could never bring himself to admit it to anyone other than Samira. 

Porco leaned forward and kissed her shoulder, one hand running across deep brown skin as she leaned back to rest against him. The thick, tightly packed coils of hair on her head were wet, washed, and smelled like mint. The water of the bath was still the perfect temperature, soothing Porco’s sore limbs and making him wish he could just last in this moment forever. 

He knew it would have to end, eventually. He didn’t want to think about that right now. He wanted to think about Samira and how her soft, flexible fingers were massaging the skin of his thigh -

“We should do something to help Reiner out,” Samira hummed. “He’s upset. I can tell. He needs...something. Help. I don’t know-”

“Talk to Zeke about it. Have him deal with it.”

Samira barked a laugh. “Me? Talk to Zeke?”

She was right. It was a dumb suggestion, and Porco internally cursed himself for not spouting out Pieck’s name instead. Zeke harbored nothing but negative feelings towards Samira, born most likely out of envy. Porco had something that he didn’t. 

Porco sighed and reclined back further in the bath. “Stupid suggestion, I know.”

Samira turned, sitting up a bit to straddle Porco’s hips. He groaned - she was tantalizingly close to him, his cock resting languidly against her inner thigh. He tried not to think about it while she began to speak. 

“The way you look at him sometimes...it confuses me.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I can usually read you like the back of my hand,” Samira murmured. “When you look at Reiner sometimes, I can’t read you. It’s like I’m back to when we first met - you had that same expression on your face when you looked at me. Like you didn’t know what to feel, how to feel.”

“I know how I feel about Reiner,” Porco didn’t even believe those words as they tumbled out. He grit his teeth and ducked his head, waiting for Samira to catch his flub. She didn’t. Like she usually did, she waited for him to compose himself, gave him time, before speaking. 

“You don’t always have to rush into things head-on, Pock. Much less your emotions. I know you think of...of Marcel, when you see him. I know how much it hurts.”

It brought Porco comfort that she did know, empirically so, as she’d lost two of her own siblings to war. She wasn’t just saying it as a pity response. The wounds were raw, real, and deep. Samira herself had yet to heal from hers, either, though she’d made a far better effort than Porco knew he had. 

She was better than him. So much better than him. Porco knew deep down he didn’t deserve someone like her. 

“Both of my brothers died saving me,” Samira whispered. “I knew I wasn’t fit for the battlefield, that I was weak, but I enlisted anyway and they paid for it.”

Porco gripped her arms almost instinctively, holding her tightly and hissing, “You are not weak-” 

“I was weak, Porco. I couldn’t do what needed to be done because I was scared. I told everyone I wasn’t. I pretended to be brave and capable,” Samira’s hands reached up to cradle Porco’s face. “Reiner was a child. You were all children.”

Porco leaned forward and rested his head against Samira’s shoulder. He kissed her damp skin, her shoulder, her neck, before kissing his way up her jaw and finally, her lips. 

“We can...we can try something. To help,” Porco whispered. “Just- fuck - just tell me what you want to do.”

                                                        ---

“Are you sure he’ll agree to this?” Porco dug his thumb into the tight muscle between Samira’s neck and shoulder, casually massaging out a knot beneath the skin. Samira hummed and tilted her head to the side, eyes fluttering shut. 

“I think he will.”

It didn’t take long for Reiner to arrive, shuffling into the room rather awkwardly before closing the door behind him. He looked between Porco and Samira, confusion etched across his face. 

“You wanted to see me?”

“Obviously,” Porco’s tone was smooth and curt. “We called you here, didn’t we?”

 “For what?”

Before Samira could explain, Porco spoke. There was a glint in his eye, and a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He kept a hand steady on Samira’s shoulder, his thumb now stroking patterns against her skin. “You know, Braun, you’re incredibly bad at hiding the way you look at Sam. Eye-fucking another man’s girl across a room isn’t exactly the brightest idea, considering who that man is.”

Reiner sputtered and Samira’s eyes widened at Porco’s words. She reached over to swat his chest, but he caught her wrist, his smile widening. 

“I should beat the shit out of you right now for that,” Porco said. “But I won’t. Instead, I’ll indulge you.”

“W-what do you mean?” Reiner’s adams apple bobbed as he gulped, eyes darting between Samira and Porco. 

“You want to fuck her?” Porco said. 

Reiner didn’t reply. Porco asked again, this time slower.

“I said, do you want to fuck her, Braun?”

“You can say yes,” Samira interrupted. “That’s why you’re here - to answer your question.” 

Reiner’s fingers fell away from where they’d been hovering over the doorknob, though they drifted back up when Porco instructed him to turn the lock. The blonde took slow, methodical steps across the room, coming to stop before Samira. His hands were shaking a bit as he reached out to clasp her face between his big hands. Samira began working at the buttons of his shirt, peeling the cloth away to reveal rippling muscles underneath. 

“I - thank you,” Reiner said.

“Just kiss her, you brute,” Porco rolled his eyes. 

While Porco’s kisses were demanding, Reiner’s were almost needy - like he’d never had them before and wanted more. He and Porco both worked to undress Samira, tossing her clothes away without a care as to where they landed in the room. 

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Porco moaned against Samira’s hair. 

Reiner nodded frantically, before gasping as he was wrestled onto the bed by two pairs of hands. 

“This is for you,” Samira murmured against his lips. She worked on undoing his belt, sliding it off and letting it clatter to the wooden floor. She spread her fingers before curling them around his clothed cock, palming him through his trousers. Reiner writhed against the sheets, bare chest heaving. His eyes travelled from Samira, to Porco, who was yanking his own shirt over his head. 

He was already hard when Samira pulled his pants and undergarments down past his hips and off his legs. His dick was impressive in girth and length, and Samira brushed her palm across the head as she crawled up to kiss him once more. She heard Porco aggressively ridding himself of his own pants, the bed dipping as he joined the duo. 

Samira pulled away and licked a stripe across his collarbone before resuming her journey down his chest, Sweat was beading on Reiner’s brow as he propped herself up to look down at Samira as she gave his cock a few tugs before pushing the head past her lips. 

Reiner’s thighs tensed. Samira felt a hand gently stroke her hair - Porco - as she slid down further on his cock. 

“Ah,” Reiner’s eyes were half-closed, the muscles in his lower abdomen tight. Samira felt soft breathing against her cheek as Porco leaned down, his own lips brushing over Reiner’s cock. He began to leave teasing, suckling kisses against the skin, drawing out filthy moans from deep within Reiner’s gut. He then laid his tongue flat against the broad base, licking a long stripe from root to tip. 

It was Porco who pulled Samira off Reiner’s cock, eventually, though not before smashing his lips against hers for good measure. Reiner watched, mouth agape, cock leaking and happy between his legs. 

Porco’s fingers snuck between Samira’s legs, swiping across her slick folds. 

“Sucking him off got you that wet?” Porco inquired, though there was no jealousy in his tone - only lust. “Fuck.”

Strong fingers gripped Samira’s face. Porco yanked her forward, crushing his mouth against hers, once more, with urgency. Samira felt the bed shift as Reiner began to try and sit up, only to be shoved back down by a strong push from Porco. 

“Stay still. This is for you, after all,” Porco kept a firm grip on Samira’s face, eyes travelling from the proud column of Reiner’s throat, down his barrel chest and hips. Gone was that same hooded-eyed look Samira was used to seeing, instead replaced by one of pure, unsullied desire. He wanted Reiner just as much as Samira.

Maybe that had been the source of “the look” all along. It was no secret to Samira that Porco, like her, had no preference for the gender of his partner - Porco had admitted, several times, that Reiner was an attractive man. Samira just hadn’t read into it as fully as she probably should have. 

“Why don’t you show him how you ride me?” Porco’s large palm drifted across Samira’s back as she happily clambered atop Reiner, his breath hitching as she rested her palms against his chest. She swung a leg over his hip,  and Reiner’s own hand frantically came to grip the base of his cock, sliding the appendage between Samira’s slick folds. 

Porco was watching, eyes narrowed to slits. With a snarl, he reached down to grab Reiner’s face between his fingers - the same motion he’d done to Samira moments earlier - so he could lean down and kiss him. Reiner gave a deep, rumbling moan, eyes slipping closed as Samira sank down onto him, inch by inch, velvety walls trapping his cock in a vice grip. 

It felt heavenly. Reiner felt heavenly.

The bed creaked as Porco pulled away from Reiner and flopped onto his back, the veins on his thick arms pulsing as he gripped his cock and began to stroke. 

“She feels f-fucking amazing, doesn’t she?” Porco could barely speak, and Reiner couldn’t speak at all - he just grunted and nodded in agreement. “Don’t ever f-forget how her pussy feels. You’re only getting it o-once.”

That, Samira knew immediately, was a lie.

Samira lurched forward, legs clamping around Reiner’s hips as her orgasm rocked her entire body. Reiner pumped upward once, twice, before he came - grunting out expletives and gnawing on his lower lip so hard that Samira was scared he would break skin and bleed. His dick was spent, sticky and still leaking as it slipped from her cunt and bobbed before resting against his stomach

“We’re ignoring Porco,” Samira said through her heaving pants. Reiner’s big hand was running across her hips, her lower back, and thighs. He had a half-dazed expression on his face, but perked up when Samira reached over to stroke her partner’s bare, heaving chest. 

“Fucking hell,” Porco moaned. “Both of you will be the death of me, I swear.”

“I couldn’t think of a better way to go,” Reiner replied. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Porco was laughing, shoulders bouncing. He reached out to grip Samira’s thigh, stopping her before she could climb off Reiner’s lap. “I want you on my face next.”

“P-Pock-”

A tilt of the head and a sharp look was enough for Samira to know that he wasn’t kidding.

This was new - Samira had never...well, Porco had never suggested it before during the countless times he’d taken her in this very same bed. She’d imagined it, of course, but she’d never imagined that Porco would ask her to sit on his face. He wasn’t a vanilla guy, but she could tell that Reiner’s presence in the room had changed the way he acted. Perhaps it was some urge to one-up Reiner, prove to him that he, and only he, could make Samira moan and scream and tremble all at once. Samira wasn’t complaining.

Always a competition, Samira mused. 

She allowed herself to smile as she swung her legs on either side of Porco’s head, making sure to give him room to breathe. She braced her hands on the headboard of the bed, fingers curling into the wood as Porco caressed her thighs, her stomach, and then her breasts, tweaking a nipple with his thumb and making Samira mewl. 

“Watch and learn, Braun,” Porco breathed against Samira’s folds. He licked a stripe from one end to the other, and Samira’s hips bucked, her grip on the headboard tightening. His mouth felt so good on her, suckling at her clit before he slid a finger into her tight cunt, crooking the appendage and drawing out filthy sounds from Samira’s parted lips.

Reiner seemed content to just stare, though Samira could see his eyes drifting lower and lower, past the smooth plane of Porco’s stomach to his erect cock. Reiner disappeared from her sight, suddenly, and Samira twisted her head and saw Reiner dive and slip Porco’s cock past his lips. 

“S-shit,” Porco’s hips bucked and he speared Samira on his tongue, fingers slipping from her pussy to reach down and tangle in Reiner’s blonde locks. “What’s got you so f-fucking confident?”

Samira threw her head back and laughed. Her knees and thighs burned but she didn’t care. All she wanted was to come, desperately, and for Porco to get her there. He used his free hand to shove two fingers back inside of her. She could hear Reiner behind her, heard him gag as he sucked Porco’s dick farther and farther into his mouth. 

Porco moaned. Fire exploded in Samira’s gut and she curled forward, and Porco lapped at her like a starving man. The only indicator that he’d come was a subtle tightening of his abs and the sound of Reiner milking him dry, sliding his cock past his lips. 

It took several moments for Samira to peel herself away from Porco, legs spent, her entire body feeling as if it were on a cloud. She collapsed between the two men, Porco remaining on his back while Reiner crawled up, the back of his hand covering his mouth as he wiped away the final evidence of Porco’s release on his lips and chin. 

There were no words spoken between the three, at first. Porco’s eyes were shut, as if he were sleeping. Reiner remained on his side, a distant look in his eyes. Samira was panting still, and she gave a soft sigh. She leaned over and pressed her lips against Reiner’s. 

“Why?” Reiner’s words were soft, though not accusatory. Curious. Just...curious. 

“It was her idea,” Porco mumbled. “You know how she gets. Relentless.”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it,” Samira replied.

“Never said I didn’t.”

“Why?” Reiner repeated the question, this time a bit more forcefully. Porco finally opened his eyes, reaching down to yank the covers across all three of them.

“I...I wanted to do something for you, and I was tired of this little dance the three of us have been doing,” Samira answered honestly. “If I overstepped, I’m sorry-”

“No. I enjoyed it,” Reiner insisted. “I...I needed it. This. Thank you.” 

This time, it was Reiner who tilted forward to capture Samira’s lips with his own. When he pulled away, he leaned over to kiss Porco’s neck before returning to his side of the bed. 

Porco’s skin was flushed red, and Samira could see him struggling not to speak. He instead opted to toss an arm across Samira’s waist and turn over to bury his nose in the nest of coily hair on her head. He was the first to fall asleep, leaving Samira teetering on the edge of slumber and Reiner still wide awake, but beginning to drift off.

“He doesn’t hate you, you know. No matter how much he says he does, he doesn’t hate you,” Samira whispered. She absently lifted a hand to stroke Porco’s hair as soft snores began slipping from his parted lips. 

“How do you know?” 

“Because he’s able to love someone like me.”

Reiner gulped, his eyes drifting to Porco’s face. He reached over and flicked off the bedside lamp, dousing the room in darkness. It was a while before he spoke again, his voice barely above a murmur.

“Good night, Sam.”

“Good night, Reiner.”

[libsterslobsters]

Whole Lotta Love

Synopsis: For some people, Valentine’s Day is another word for "stress", especially when you don't know what the other person is expecting. Several years into their relationship, Bucky’s pretty sure he has a good understanding of the Reader, until a word from Sam makes him question everything he thinks he knows. The race is on to make their first Valentine’s Day since saying their vows a special one, but as per usual, fate has it's own ideas about what will make the holiday truly memorable

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Enhanced! Super-soldier Reader

(Reader can see bits and pieces of the future in visions as well as speak every language)

Warnings: Smut, Fluff

Author's note: This fic contains references to earlier stories. For more information, click the series masterlist link. As always, the reader is unnamed so that this can be read as a self-insert, but at this point, I think of her as an OC.

The song referenced is Hearts Don't Break Around Here by Ed Sheeran

Series Masterlist

A The Song Remains The Same Fic

---------‐-----------------------------------

“So, Valentine’s Day.”

Bucky doesn’t look up from his laptop (or more specifically, the field report he’s typing) at Sam’s words. Despite his concentration, he can tell that his partner is staring at him, boring holes into his back with his gaze.

“Uh-huh.” He’s listening, but so far, he doesn’t care.

“What are you doing for it?” For Valentine’s day? Um…

“Not much.” It’s a Tuesday this year, right? Then probably working, like most other people, he’d imagine.

The room is silent as he types, so Bucky assumes that settles the matter. That is, until Sam mutters a quiet, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“About what?” How many paragraphs does he have to type before he can pass this off as a full report? When he joined the Avengers, he thought the hardest part of his job would be the bad guy of the week, not doing paperwork!

“You’re really not doing anything for Valentine’s Day? Seriously?” He nods absentmindedly and clicks the save icon. He’ll finish this tomorrow. It’s five o’clock. Time to head home. Home to-

“What’s your wife gonna think about that?” He shrugs and cuts the power to the laptop.

“She thinks that the whole holiday is a rip-off. See you Monday?” He turns around for confirmation, only to catch Sam staring at him, mouth hanging wide open. “What?”

“A rip-off?” Is he just going to be stuck repeating himself?

“Yep.” Told him that the first February 14th they spent together.

“And you actually believed her?”

He nods. “She’s not one to lie.”

Sam nods incredulously. “Uh-huh. And are you planning to ever have sex again?”

He’s not going to dignify that with an answer (because really, isn’t it obvious?).

“Fine.” Sam shrugs. “You do you, man. All I’m saying is, if I had a wife who looked like that-” he indicates the lock screen of Bucky’s phone (a picture of her laughing, telling him to put away the damn camera after wrestling the dog for the tie to her favorite robe). “-I’d have my V-day plans set up a month in advance.”

Normally Bucky would take what Sam says with a grain of salt, but he is after all a man out of time, so maybe it’s worth considering that his partner may be right.

“What would you suggest I do?”

“Outside of the bedroom?” He narrows his eyes at the Falcon. “Okay, bad joke.” Sam scratches at the back of his head, thinking. “I don’t know, man. That’s your girl. You know her best, but flowers are always a good place to start.” Good to know that hasn’t changed since the 1940s. Although, last time he brought her flowers, she spent the afternoon sneezing until he eventually convinced her that it was okay, he wouldn’t be offended, she should throw the damn things out. Then again, that was before she was a super soldier.

“Flowers.” He repeats, earning a nod from Sam.

“You can get creative. Do a little research. But I’m just saying, when a woman waits five years for you to reappear, the least she deserves is a few flowers.” On that, they can agree.

He must bid Sam some sort of goodbye and make his way through the Avengers compound, but he’s unaware of anything until he’s in the parking lot, sitting behind the wheel of his car, googling “What to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.” There’s a web page that boasts twenty different selections. Might as well give it a look.

___________________________________________________________________________________

She’s nearly home when her phone dings with a text from Barnes. “Just got in. Forgot to get milk. Can you swing by on your way, or should I go to the gas station and pick up a gallon?” A frown forms on her face. It’s pretty rare that Bucky forgets things. Must’ve been a hell of a day at work, then. Either that, or his brain has completely turned to mush thanks to typing out field reports. Either way-

“I got it. See you in twenty.” She thinks about tacking on a “love you”, but the light turns green before she can.

The grocery store is packed thanks to so many people getting off work. There’s only three carts left, all with bad wheels. She chooses the least squeaky option and, grabbing an add on her way, heads into the grocery store. Milk, and if she remembers right from this morning, they’re running dangerously low on coffee and tea. Despite caffeine having absolutely no effect on their enhanced bodies, both of them are nightmares to be around in the mornings without their beverages of choice. Force of habit and all.

She’s halfway to the checkout when she sees it. A sign, decorated in garish shades of red, pink, and purple. “All Valentine’s Day chocolates 10% off.” Shit. Yeah, that is coming up. To tell the truth, she’d completely forgot all about that day halfway through February. For most of her life, it only meant giving homemade cards at school when most kids had store-bought. Then, once she reached adulthood, it was a reminder that she was destined to be alone. Who would want someone who’s on the run, and what’s more, sees the future? Once she and Barnes got together, it didn’t change much. That first Valentine’s Day, he mentioned the holiday, and she shut it down immediately. They were both broke (or at least, he had no legitimate way of making money while she was broke), and celebrating a mostly commercial holiday seemed like a waste. Plus, she didn’t want to put a strain on a new relationship. Over the years, the subject never came up again, and she’s content for it to stay a non-starter, thank you very much. In her opinion, you should show your partner you love them every day of the year, not shoe-horn it into one twenty-four hour period. Call her unromantic if you must.

She’s completely immune to the various displays of cheap chocolate in heart-shaped boxes and overly sentimental cards as she approaches the register and starts to unload her items. Milk. Tea. That one specific brand of coffee that he likes because, “It tastes like what we drank in basic training. Terrible, but I kinda got used to it, so now everything else tastes like it’s trying too hard.” whatever that means. He’s right; she’s tasted it, and it’s fucking awful. Still, every morning, he drinks at least three cups while she drains her pot of tea.

“You got a hot date for Valentine’s Day, hun?” The cashier asks her, never breaking her rhythm as she rings up the items.

She chuckles. “As a matter of fact, yes.” The cashier’s eye go wide, and she holds up her left hand. “And every other day.”

“Ooh, nice. How long have you been together?”

“Nine years.” Wait… “Or four years, depending on which of us you ask. He blipped, I stayed.”

The cashier nods. “So are you older than him now?”

Physically? They’re not completely sure, but if you calculate the times he was off the ice with HYDRA and add that to the age he was before the serum, then they’re not far off. But chronologically- “No, he’s still older.” And yes, it will always be funny that Sam responds with “Okay, boomer” whenever Bucky makes an outdated reference (even if he’s off by a good twenty years).

With a little more light chatter, she pays for her items and leaves. Now, for home.

As soon as she opens the front door, she’s greeted by their dog, Sarge, barking excitedly and hopping around like he’s on a trampoline despite missing a leg. Bucky’s not far behind, placing a quick peck on her forehead before taking the bags from her and unloading them in the kitchen. Tonight’s his night to cook, but unless her nose has suddenly decided to give out, he hasn’t started dinner yet. She doesn’t mind taking over tonight, and when he sheepishly apologizes while she begins her preparations, she brushes it off. Although, for the second time in an hour, she’s seen proof of his unusual absentmindedness. Oh well. She’ll ask him about it later.

Despite being relieved from tonight’s chef duties, Bucky stays in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast bar scrolling through his phone as she cooks. His expression is neutral, which can mean one of two things; a) he’s just killing time and there aren’t any interesting posts or articles vying for his attention, or at the opposite end of the spectrum, b) he’s deep in thought, possibly angry, sad, or even frightened, but he’s gone into Winter Soldier mode and shut down so that she won’t pick up on his mood. Damn the man and his poker face.

Eventually dinner is served and she sends him off toward the fridge in search of two beers while she serves their plates. Just as she’s spooning a generous helping of salad into her bowl, it happens. A vision, but a limited one. All she’s seeing is a phone. Well, that and the hand holding it. She’s not sure whether to be proud or embarrassed that she immediately recognizes the hand as Bucky’s, but that goes by the wayside as she takes in the article he’s reading. “Should you do something for Valentine’s Day even is she says no?” It’s a thread on some anonymous discussion board. The reply that has his attention is in reference to a now divorced individual who “was dumb enough to believe that, on our first V-Day as a married couple, she didn’t want anything.” Oh boy. Not good. This will be their first Valentine’s Day since exchanging vows, and if the fact that he’s read this reply (if not already read, will read soon) means that it’s at least crossed his radar that she might be feeding him bullshit. That’s not the case, but after his research, she knows from experience that no matter how much she tries to convince him otherwise, a small part of his mind will be stuck on, “But what if this is a big deal?” Which means-

“Doll, are you just gonna stand there with the salad tongs in your hand?” That snaps her out of it.

“No. Just a vision.” He frowns as she passes him his plate.

“Anything important happen?” Should she say?

“No.” She’s not sure if the smile or not, so she takes a bite from her roll to cover it. “Random sneak peek.” It’s not a lie. What she saw really isn’t important. Still, if he’s in that mindset, she should probably go on and do something for him just in case. After all, why should it only be the ladies who reap this holiday’s benefits?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Not flowers. That’s the one thing that, after copious amounts of research Bucky is one hundred percent certain about. They may still be a common romantic gift, but since they were also a go-to back when he was courting girls in the 1940s, it’s safe to say they’ve been overdone. Plus, he doesn’t really want to remind her of that time she had such a severe allergic reaction to the flowers he picked her on a walk through the park in Bucharest that her eyes nearly swelled shut and she sneezed herself sick. That doesn’t exactly seem like prime romance.

Chocolates or other candies have the same issues as flowers. Contrived and predictable. A bottle of wine is nice, but neither of them can so much as get mildly tipsy thanks to the super serum. The fourteenth is his day to cook, so he guesses he could do some reading and try to create something a little more special than spaghetti (he thought about going to a nice restaurant for dinner, but there’s a few issues with that, not the least of which is they’re likely to be recognized without their disguises, and he’d rather not look at his wife through sunglasses on Valentine’s day), but that seems a little underwhelming.

As he loads the dishwasher (she fell asleep half-way through the third episode of whichever nonsensical comedy they’re watching this week, so he sneaked back downstairs to clean up the dinner dishes), he thinks back to the dozen separate articles he read on the subject of Valentine’s Day gifts. Jewelry was a common theme, but that’s out. She’ll say thank you to his face, but worry about the cost behind his back. Plus, he has absolutely no idea what she’d like, and there’s no sense in purchasing something only for her to hate it.

Another common one was lingerie. Bucky almost choked on his tongue when he saw some of the examples given with that option. None of it looked comfortable (in fact, he’s still scratching his head about how you even put on one of the pieces that popped up on the web page) and he doesn’t want to give her the impression that she has to dress up for him. Even putting all that aside, he has no idea what size she’d even wear. He likes to think that he knows his wife pretty well, but somehow, in all their years together, it never occurred to him to ask her for her clothing sizes. That, and have you even seen the bra sizing system? Does it make sense to anyone, because to Bucky, it’s all gibberish. 32 B? 36 DD? What the hell? Somehow, when HYDRA was training him to extract information, they failed to go over the translation of a woman’s bra size. He supposes he could ask, but he’s not sure there’s a non-suspicious way to work, “Hey, sweetheart. What size are your breasts?” into casual conversation.

Sam said to get creative, so he tried to think outside the box. What’s something she really needs? A new vacuum cleaner is the first thing to come to mind, but he’s not stupid enough to think that would make a good gift. He knows she’s had her eye on a set of throwing stars, but that doesn’t seem to correlate well with what this holiday is all about. That’ll keep until her birthday.

He’s still wracking his brain for anything at all that might work when he feels a wet nose poking at his hand. Sarge. “Hey, boy. Has your mom gone to bed?” The response is a quiet “woof” and lick to his palm. He scratches the mutt behind the ears, smiling to himself as Sarge’s back leg thumps at the treatment.

“What do you think we should get our girl? Huh?” There’s no reply (of course not, he’s talking to a dog), but he nods, pretending all the same that Sarge has offered up a suggestion. “A bone. Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s her thing. Try again.” The dog blinks at him lazily. “No, you’re the one who wants new tennis balls. Not Mom. Although you’re right about her liking peanut butter.” At this rate, he might as well get her a bone and some tennis balls, because he’s sure not coming up with any ideas.

She likes music. The thought pops into his head while he’s brushing his teeth. All sorts of music. Over the years, he’s tried to make sense of the songs he’s heard her listen to, but has yet to find a discernible pattern in her listening habits. She doesn’t seem to stick to just one genre or era. More like she picks songs by how they relate to what she’s feeling at the moment. Wait a second-

“A mixtape.” His reflection mouths the words back at him. Despite technology having moved on from the days of burning CDs, she still has a thick stack of the disks stored in a cabinet and plays them on the regular. He’s even seen a few that she made herself, pasting together the songs she likes to make a “Cleaning mix”, “Workout Mix” and “Pissed off Mix”. Bucky’s sure he could figure out how to burn a CD, but it’s not like she’d be able to listen to that everywhere she went. That leaves a playlist. She uses one of those apps to listen to music on her phone, right? Surely he can put something together for her using that.

Quietly, he climbs into bed next to his sleeping wife and pulls her back against his chest, slinging one arm over her waist as usual. He closes his eyes, but his mind is alight with activity. A playlist. Of course. He’ll put some extra effort into whatever he cooks that night, stop by a bakery and pick up some sweet treats for dessert. Hell, maybe they’ll both dress up and act like they’re on a date. Then, once they’re sitting down to their meal, he’ll pull out his phone and hit play. It’s perfect. At least, he hopes it is.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Putting on a lacy bra and panties set underneath her regular work attire seemed like a brilliant idea this morning. Today’s a short day; she’s only got three classes to teach, and Rhodey called last night to tell Bucky that he’s suspending work hours at three pm “Since most people have holiday preparations to make.” Her plan was to be waiting on the sofa in the living room when he arrives home, professional button-down blouse open just enough for him to get a good look at what’s underneath, pencil skirt pushed up enough to reveal the stockings and garters she’s donned for the occasion. It’s fun, with just enough cheesiness to match this whole holiday. And, well, it’s a guarantee that by the end of the night they’ll be in bed together, both rumpled, sweaty, and satisfied. Perfect, right?

Wrong. On her drive to work, her skimpy underwear began to ride up, giving her a wedgie, and there was no way to adjust without running the risk of wrecking. She was so distracted by her discomfort that she missed her exit, and by the time she arrived at the college, she was running so behind that she didn’t get the chance to run to the bathroom and readjust. Her lecture on sentence diagrams was pure torture before the underwire from her bra decided to join in the fun and poke her directly in the ribs, but with that addition, she was especially impatient with her students’ tendency to joke around a little too much in class.

Luckily, she had just enough time to wrap the exposed metal bit in tissues before her next class, which eliminated the pain in her chest, but did nothing to alleviate the discomfort once her stockings began to slide down, having at some point disconnected themselves from the garters. She taught like that for the next two classes, but as soon as they were over, she pealed the whole ensemble off in the teacher’s restroom and changed into her gym clothes. Alright, screw the whole seduction routine. She needs to blow off some steam and fast, or else she’ll be in a bad mood all night.

That’s why, thirty minutes later, she finds herself in the training room of the Avengers compound, working over a punching bag. “Fuck-” Her fist connects, making the bag swing crazily from it’s hook. “-this- whole- day!” It goes sailing, and she feels a little better.

“Ouch!” The voice comes from behind her and she whirls around, gaze resting on-

“Sam.” The man in question holds up his hands in an “I surrender” gesture.

“Don’t shoot! I come in peace.” Rolling her eyes, she holds up her middle finger, receiving a snicker in acknowledgment.

“Just working off a little frustration before I head home.”

“Good.” Sam chuckles. “’cause otherwise, I’d be worried that when Barnes pulls out his dick tonight, you’ll bite it off.” She thinks about telling him that there’s no chance of that, but she might just cut off his if he crosses her. However, that jogs her memory.

“Has he left yet?” Sam nods.

“About an hour ago. Said he had to pick up groceries.” Shit. There goes her plan to shower, throw the damn lingerie back on and proceed as planned.

Bidding Sam a hasty reply, she makes tracks towards her car and, once inside, heads for home. Fine. New plan. She’ll shower once she arrives and then when the evening is drawing to a close, wait for him in bed. Nodding to herself, she puts the car in park and climbs out. Now, to psych herself up enough in the next few hours to put the damn lingerie back on.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Where did he go wrong? It takes all of Bucky’s self control not to spit out the spoonful of sauce he just tasted. This was supposed to be an easy recipe for Chicken Alfredo (or at least, that’s what the website boasted; he should’ve known better than to get his information from the internet and stuck to a good old-fashioned cookbook from the library). Not… whatever the hell this is. Maybe even if the sauce is nauseating, the chicken is okay?

He pulls open the oven door, and immediately smoke billows out, making his eyes water. Okay, chicken’s a little well-done. Who is he kidding? Black. The chicken is burned black. And the pasta… he lifts the pot lid and stirs, only to come to the realization that the pasta is completely stuck to the bottom of the pot. Wonderful.

It’s inevitable; over the years, he’s had his fair share of cooking disasters, but usually he does okay. Tonight though… who the hell up there did he piss off, because the only explanation for how badly this is going is his karma coming due.

Still holding the offending spoon, he looks over at Sarge, who’s staring at him, long pink tongue sticking out as he pants. “Trust me, boy. You don’t want any of this.” There has to be something else he can pull together on short notice. Normally he’d be worried that she’s running late without so much as a text, but today he’s relieved. At least if she’s running behind he’ll have time to… what? Maybe order takeout? Before she gets-

“I’m home.” Shit.

Sarge yips, shaking with excitement, and starts towards the kitchen door, then turns back, uncertain. “Go on. I know you’re dying to jump on her and lick her face.” Something they really should be training out of him because he’s getting too big for that sort of behaviour but, well… there’s a reason they call them “puppy dog eyes.”

Not needing to be coaxed, the dog takes off, tripping a little in the momentary lapse in his memory that he’s a tripod, but easily catches himself and goes on his merry way, leaving Bucky to clean up his mess. From the sound of things, a game of fetch is going on in the living room, so she should be distracted for a while.

He manages to pour the sauce down the drain and scrape most of the pasta into the trash while Sarge is acting as a decoy, but there’s absolutely no way he can dispose of the chicken without tipping her off (damn enhanced senses, it’s a wonder she hasn’t already smelled it). Finally, he decides to just go for it. She’s going to notice whether he throws it out now or two hours from now. Might as well get a head start on cleaning.

Sure enough, not ten seconds after he empties out the oven, he catches a movement in his peripheral vision, and the familiar sound of her breathing tips him off that he’s no longer alone.

“Hey, Doll.”

“Hey, Bucky. Did something burn in here, or-” He holds up the pan for her inspection before continuing his scraping.

“That’s one way to put it, yeah.” He slams the lid back on the trashcan and turns on the tap, intent on rinsing out the pan. “Another is whoever the god of culinary arts is has it in for me today.”

She chuckles. “You know, that would be funnier if we didn’t actually know a god.”

“Yeah, but he’s in control of thunder.” He meets her eyes, smirking slightly. “Although it did look like I electrocuted the bird.” Her lips quirk up into a smile, and he takes the opportunity to kiss her, cupping the back of her head gently to hold her in place when she tries to move away, muttering something about being sweaty.

He’s not entirely sure how it happened, but by the time they come up for air, her back his pressed against the wall and he’s got her pinned in place. Not that he’s complaining.

“Anyone ever tell you that the tip of your nose turns pink after you’ve been kissed?’ Her cheeks go rosey in response.

“I think so. One guy did. I told him it’s only when I’m kissed properly.”

He really would like to continue the playful banter, but there’s still the small matter of whatever it is they’re going to eat.

“What do you feel like for dinner tonight?”

“Apart from electrocuted chicken?” He responds with a swat to her ass, which earns him a snicker. “Let’s keep it simple. Pizza. Your choice of toppings.” Right, that’s easy enough. Plus, if they have to wait longer than thirty minutes, it’s free.

“Okay. I’ll order while you shower?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He’s just pulled up the menu on his phone when the sound of her clearing her throat attracts his attention. She’s standing in the doorway, combing through her freshly let down hair with her fingers, a playful look in her eyes.

“Or you could join me. Just a mild suggestion.”

Dinner can wait for a while.

___________________________________________________________________________________

The Brooklyn townhouse they live in has many nice features. There’s a functional if small screened in back porch, big enough to hold a table for two and a grill. Two bedrooms, on the off chance someone from work needs to crash for a night or two. A kitchen with a dishwasher. A working fireplace. Good closet space. And an en suite bathroom.

Maybe it’s a little ridiculous to call a bathroom luxurious, especially when, in comparison to what’s featured in many brownstones, it’s more than modest, but she can’t help but think of it as such. There’s a double sink so that in the morning rush to get ready, Bucky’s able to shave and brush his teeth without having to wait for her to finish applying her makeup. Shelving above the toilet makes certain that even if the last person to shower took the towel with them, another one is on hand. Speaking of the shower, it’s not the largest one in the world, but both of them can fit in comfortably at the same time, which is what’s lead to their current situation.

She’s just finished allowing the water to course over her body, easing the sweat from her skin, and is about to begin the process of washing her hair, scrubbing her body, but she hesitates. She might as well ask. It’s only practical after all.

“Do you want to start now or get cleaned up and have dinner beforehand?” It’s obvious what she’s referring to, so she doesn’t bother to spell it out.

His brown knits, and if she didn’t know him as… intimately… as she does, she’d actually believe he’s confused.

“Oh, so you’re just assuming there’s gonna be sex involved at some point tonight?”

She shrugs, wringing out her hair.

“Seemed like a safe enough bet.” She glances pointedly between the two of them. “After all, we’re already undressed. “

His laugh is a quiet huff, barely discernible over the sound of the water. “Then I’d say start now, have dinner, then go for round two. Sound about right to you?”

She nods. “Solid plan.”

“Then get over here.”

Unlike the welcome home kiss they shared not half an hour ago, this one is less tender, more electric. Hands twist in hair, bodies press together. Tongues begging for entrance quickly give way to teeth nipping at bottom lips, an unspoken sparring match for who’ll be in control this time around. Ultimately he wins, grasping her hips and lifting as she wraps her legs securely around his back.

There’s no need for prep; the teasing of their earlier words is foreplay enough. Back pressed against the wall, her body easily welcomes him in as she braces one arm against the glass shower doors for balance. Any concerns about slipping and falling wash away as they move together like so many times before. She’s sure her nails will leave marks on his back, fingertips digging in for purchase and it’s a guarantee her hips will be littered with fingerprints from his grip, but she can’t find it in her to care, and if the desperate, bruising kiss assaulting her lips is anything to judge from, neither can he.

“So damn good, Doll.” It’s panted against her neck. “Always. So damn perfect for me.” All she can manage is a moan in response.

She feels him twitch inside of her and knows he’s close. So is she, but she can’t quite get there without-

As if he’s read her mind, he reaches between them to touch her where she needs it most, and on instinct, she readjusts, locking her arm around his neck to stay in place. “Let go, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?” She couldn’t disobey if she wanted to.

“Fuck.” As her walls contract around him, he pulls out just in time to paint her middle with his release.

“That’s one word for it.” She’s still fighting to catch her breath, but she shoots him a shaky smirk, which he returns.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mrs. Barnes.” Snickering, she releases him to stand on unsteady legs and pecks his legs.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. Barnes.” Maybe there’s something to this holiday after all.

___________________________________________________________________________________

“You want the last slice?” Bucky considers it for a moment before deciding-

“Nah. You can have it.” It may not be exactly what he planned, but it’s been a good night. Between the two of them, they’ve gone through two large pizzas while watching the new version of Beauty and the Beast (she rolled her eyes when he asked if this was her way of saying he reminds her of a certain hairy, horned character) in their pajamas.

“No, really. You take it. I don’t want it.” She nudges the mostly-empty pizza box towards him. The noise makes Sarge lift his head from where he was snoozing beside her on the sofa. That gives him an idea.

“I don’t want it either, but I can think of someone who does.” He cocks his head towards the now-drooling dog. “How ‘bout it, boy? Wanna help us out?”

Snickering, she picks the pepperonis and pieces of sausage and ham from the pizza, forming a pile. “Here, Sarge. Catch.” She tosses a coveted treat in the air, and Sarge’s jaw snaps, swallowing it whole. “Good boy.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she speaks again.

“You know, I actually did have something planned for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She nods.

“Absolutely. Had a whole seduction plan laid out. Tiny underwear, lacy bra, and stockings with garters included.” Huh. Guess she wouldn’t have taken the “lingerie” option the wrong way. He’ll file that away for future use… along with a mental note to ask her bra size. “That is, until I tried wearing the damn things for longer than an hour. Turns out, hiding a dirty secret under your clothes is more itchy than sexy.”

He can’t help it. He laughs, producing a pout from her which quickly turns into her own quiet laughter.

“Well, that fits in perfectly with my fancy dinner going up in smoke.”

“We really do have shitty luck with the whole “romance” thing.” She’s joking, but he decides to respond anyway.

“I don’t know about that.” Entwining his fingers with hers, he lifts their hands, twin wedding bands catching the light. “You waited five years for me to reappear after the blip, and I convinced you to elope with me. Seems pretty romantic.” Although, that reminds him…

“Don’t move.” Releasing her hand, he stands and goes in search of his phone.

“Bucky, what-”

“Don’t move, Doll. Stay right where you are.” Ah. On the kitchen counter, just where he left it. Jogging back into the room, he resumes his place on the couch next to her. Ignoring her questioning gaze, he pulls up the app and, selecting the correct playlist, hits play.

Immediate recognition blooms on her face at the opening lyrics. “She is the sweetest thing that I know. Should see the way she holds me when the lights go low.” He’s not one for modern music, but when he was googling “songs for Valentine’s Day” and this one popped up, he couldn’t help but think that the lyrics were fitting.

“I didn’t know you’d heard this one.”

He chuckles. “Even old men have a few tricks up their sleeves. That, and a wifi connection.” She rolls her eyes but leans closer, which he takes advantage of to show her the playlist.

“This is the app you use, right?” Receiving a nod, he continues. “Feel free to scroll through and add whatever you want. I haven’t listened to all of them the whole way through, but they seemed to fit the mood.”

Her hand closes over his, covering the phone. “Thank you, Bucky. It’s perfect.”

As the singer goes on about how hearts don’t break around here, he presses his lips against hers.

“I love you, Doll.”

“Love you.”

Not bad for a disastrous Valentine’s Day. Not bad at all.

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (11)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 6,6K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Notes: This chapter had been planned since I don’t know... Chap 2 or something LOL. I’m happy it finally came. I’m also happy to say that the next one will be hella suggestive. I hope you guys like it! I’m writing the chap 14 for now, so we’ve been kinda okay with the schedule. Let’s hope I don’t get blocked!

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?)

Updates: Tuesdays

Tagging: @aliceu @thatrandomoneinthecorner  @channiewoo  @bythesunnotbythemoon

                                                           ////

     You wiped all your things in your bag as soon as the bell rang, glancing at Hyunjin and Paris before getting up from your chair.

    “Are you coming with us, Hyunjin?” You asked mindlessly, checking if you had everything inside your bag and hoisting it over your shoulder as you concluded that everything was there. You looked at him, waiting for his answer, and watching as he placed his things inside his bag, taking out your book from there.

   “I won’t eat in the dining hall” He scrunched his nose, making you roll your eyes. Paris looked at you amused before looking at him and gasp, snapping her head back at you with a surprised look. You arched your brow, confused by her sudden behavior, and she darted her eyes back to him before settling them on you.

   “He was the friend you met on Wednesday?!” She asked excitedly, and you frowned. What the hell was she talking about? You looked at him confused, and he sent you a knowing look, a smirk plastered on his face.

   “Talking about me to your friends already, hm?” He teased, and you stared at him blankly before shaking your head slightly, rolling your eyes. Paris took the book in her hands, waving it for you to see it. You frowned, no clue about what she expected you to do.

   “You said you were going to meet your friend to give it to him!” She recalled, and you widened your eyes, remembering your lies. Great, now Paris would be fixed on the idea you were meeting Hyunjin behind her back “So… Are you guys friends now or something?” She grinned, and Hyunjin raised his brow at you, questioningly.

   “Yeah, yeah” You agreed, giving him a warning look that he took silently, keeping his mouth shut, “Something like that” You added, forcing a smile. Paris narrowed her eyes, suspicious, and you began to walk, so they would follow you and drop the subject.

   Paris clearly couldn’t be an actress, because she didn’t follow the script in your head.

   “Something, hm?” She teased, and you looked at Hyunjin for help. He shrugged, not knowing what to do since he didn’t even know what was going on, and you let your shoulders drop in defeat “Should I leave the love birds by themselves?” She grinned, and Hyunjin ─who clearly didn’t understand how to maintain a friendship with you─ grinned along.

   “Should she?” He asked playfully, looking directly at you. You pushed your tongue against your cheek, annoyed. Paris’s grin morphed into a full wide smile, eyes sparkling in excitement as she clasped her hands and looked at you. She was beaming. You could risk saying that you never saw her that happy in your whole life, almost relieved.

   That was how much she wanted you dating someone… Jesus.

   “Hyunjin, fuck off” You asked, voice drained and a pleading expression that made him chuckle. She giggled, happy with your not so gentle interaction, and you let out an exasperated sigh “We’re not dating, Paris” You pointed out, stressing your words. She hummed ─ clearly not buying them ─ and you let out a heavy sigh, wondering what have you done wrong in your life for your friend to believe in whatever she wanted, completely ignoring you.

    “Didn’t you mean fuck me?” Hyunjin goaded, smiling devilishly at you. Paris shot you a keyed up look, holding her breath as you walked, interested in your answer. You almost laughed at her eyes twinkling, like she was a child watching their favorite toy on display.

    “That’s exactly what I meant, thank you” You smiled obnoxiously, letting it hang in the air for a second too long, enough to confuse him “Fuck you” You added, grimacing, and he let out a wholeheartedly laugh, surprised by your retort. You chuckled, fighting back your smile as your eyes roamed around the quad as soon as you got to the stairs.

    “You almost tricked me” He confessed, humming in appreciation “You’re getting better at this”

    “Almost? You totally fell for it” You accused lightly, shooting him a funny look. Paris seemed pleased at your interaction, smiling at herself as she looked around the quad, mimicking your previous action. Unlike you, though, she let out a gasp. You raised your eyes to follow hers, spotting Han and his father walking side by side.

   “I thought Han would be lunching with us today” She mused, observing the other man walking along with them. They were walking fast, talking about something enthusiastically as Han nodded once in a while, a tight smile that conveyed his uncomfortableness from miles away. You frowned, concerned about him. Since Friday’s match, he had been feeling kinda down in general.

   Sometimes he seemed just alright as if he didn’t have anything to worry about.

   Sometimes he looked like he was drowning in regret.

   Just like now.

   The way his shoulders were dropped made it seem like he had to carry the weight of the entire world on them. The way his lips quirked down ─ almost imperceptibly but casting a shadow in the corner of his lips ─ made it seem like his whole face was taken by whatever dark thoughts wandered around his mind. The way his jaw clenched ─ stretching his neck just a little bit ─ made it seem like he had an invisible rope ready to strangle him. The way his eyebrows quivered almost imperceptibly made you realize how much he was trying to hide a clear ocean of emotions behind his worried eyes.

   You knew something was wrong and you couldn’t believe one lost match was the reason why he seemed so down lately.

   So what exactly was his problem?

   You pursed your lips, patting Paris’s shoulder before looking at Hyunjin, waving him goodbye before turning to her, forcing a small smile. You made your way to the dining hall, dismissing Paris’s idea of going their way to greet them but sending some looks over your shoulder. Maybe later you should try to figure it out.

   For now, though, it was lunchtime.

                                        //////

    Later arrived sooner than you expected.

    You bit your hot dog, crossing your legs as you fixed yourself on the stool and leaning against the stand as you watched the P.E building, waiting for Han to come out of his practice. You heard the coach wasn’t pleased about the results, and it seemed like he was taking out his frustrations on the team, tiring them out.

    You distracted yourself for a split of a second, admiring the dark sky that fell upon you. Although work in a library was fun to some extent, it was always strange to get in there with the sun burning your scalp and people wandering around, chatting up, to get out when everything was dark and quiet. The lights shooting from the roof made you trail their path, getting too invested in them to notice someone coming in your way.

   “Waiting for your boyfriend?” Minho’s voice sounded as soon as someone shadowed your view. You focused your gaze on him. Despite his usual teasing, it was clear he was drained, an unusual frown giving him away. You gestured to the stool beside you for him to sit, ignoring his teasing like you often did when you didn’t find it in you the urge to whine at him. He gestured to the employee, asking whatever he called the usual before he sat down.

   The silence was slightly awkward but neither of you tried to say anything at first. You glanced at him, munching your food as you pretended not to be interested in why he looked so edgy today. He tapped his fingers on the stand, eyes fixed on the building behind him; though he probably didn’t intend to show his anxiety, the subtle rocking his body made back and forth was enough for you to sigh in defeat, lowering your food.

   “What is it?” You decided to ask, taking him by surprise. He looked at you astonished; impressed you even noticed something was wrong with him, blinking a few times as he deadpanned. You rolled your eyes, shoulders dropping as you scoffed “Really? You look like shit, Minho! Also, you can’t stop bouncing your leg and drumming your fingers. I mean, either you’re anxious or you really want to be a drummer” He snorted, nodding in defeat.

   “It’s been tiring” He shrugged “Coach is mad at us for losing like that… I fucked everything up” He admitted “I couldn’t even think about missing a serve in a time like this… He’s been on my tail since then” He sighed, clearly overwhelmed “Also, I think Han isn’t feeling much better… “ He eyed you cautiously “Isn’t he distant lately?” You blinked, thinking deeply.

   Well, to tell the truth, he kinda was.

   “I think so? He has been acting weird… I don’t think it’s about the match though” You confessed, resting your hot dog on the stand before continuing “Sometimes it just seems like he’s lost inside his head, I don’t know how to explain” He nodded in agreement, looking at your food as if he craved for it, making you chuckle “You can have it, I’m okay” You pushed it his way, fighting back a chortle as he blushed, embarrassed.

    “No! Sorry! I’m just…” He closed his eyes when his stomach growled, and this time you couldn’t hold back your laughter, pushing your food closer to him “Sorry, I’m starving” He admitted, picking up your hot dog and humming as soon as he had a bite “The damn coach didn’t give us any time to fucking eat!” He muttered, mouth full of food, as he tried to cup it so he wouldn’t spat at you.

    “Han missed the practice? Where is he?” You asked out of nowhere, realizing that if the coach was on their tail, he should be with Minho right now. Minho gulped down his food, sighing.

    “He’s at the gym… He said he needed some alone time” He took another bite, cupping his mouth again “Said he wasn’t hungry… As if” He scoffed. You frowned, looking at the building once more, attention dragged back as Minho’s food was settled in front of him “Do you want some?” He offered, pointing to his brand new hot dog.

    “Actually… Can I have this? I’ll pay for yours” You reassured him, picking up your bag to search for your wallet “I’m going to push it down his throat” You grunted, putting the money right in front of Minho. He laughed, shaking his head and waving his hand dismissively.

   “What a caring girlfriend” He teased, gesturing so he could order another one, pushing your money back to you before you gave him a neck-slap “I owe him one” He shrugged it off, and you wiped your money back into your bag, picking up the hot dog and quickly making your way to the gym, afraid he would just go home unexpectedly.

    You struggled a little bit to find it but as soon as you spotted Han laid down on the floor, arms crossed upon his eyes and fingers buried into his hair ─ the definition of defeat himself ─ you felt all your unsettledness dissolve into pure worry. You cleared your throat, and the sudden echo in the empty gym startled him. He shot his body up, sitting on the floor and moving his hands away so he could see who was sneaking there; shoulders dropping in relief when he spotted you.

   The next second, he tensed up, realizing it was you.

   “What are you doing here?” He asked surprised, way more stiffly than you were used to seeing him. You approached him, handing the hot dog without a word, and he arched his brow in wonder, looking at you as if you were crazy “What is it? You suddenly had the urge to come here with a hot dog?” He scoffed, and this time you rolled your eyes.

   “Just eat the damn thing” You pushed it in the air, and he took it gratefully “I heard you said you weren’t hungry… I immediately realized you needed a friend. I mean, did I ever see you satisfied in your life?” You joked, and he laughed at it for a few seconds before his laughter died slowly, giving way to an awkward silence.

   “I don’t think you did” He muttered under his breath, taking a bite. You gasped, taken aback by the sudden change in the mood. Han wasn’t the one to complain about his life. If you were being honest, you couldn’t recall a time he complained about anything for real ─ well, except for Hyunjin being in your life ─, so you took the hint to sit down next to him, placing your hand on his knee.

    “You know you can talk to me, right?” You offered unsure, eyeing him cautiously “I may not be able to help you but I can hear you out” You gave him a small smile which he returned, sighing right after. He took a bite of his food but didn’t seem to care about the taste, as he didn’t even hum like he used to do when he ate it.

   “I don’t know where to begin with” He stated, eyes unfocused but fixed somewhere over your shoulder “I mean… I don’t know… You know?” He trailed off, which wasn’t really helpful. You furrowed your brows, tilting your head.

  “Could you be more specific?” You asked amused, and he chuckled, gulping down his food.

   “I lost this game… And for what, Y/N? For what?” He sighed heavily “Dad brought a friend to meet me today… He said those things happen, said he knows I’m better than that…” You perked up at that, happy he would have another chance sooner than expected “He watched my other games and said I’m promising” He concluded with another sigh.

  Though his words were all good signs, he said them as if they were a death sentence.

  “I don’t follow you” You admitted, confused “Isn’t it a good thing? I mean… Did he give you a chance? Will you play on a team?” You added, and he looked at your eyes deeply demotivated.

  “I don’t deserve that spot” His tone was hurt, kinda breathy, and you were taken aback by how destroyed he looked. Has he ever been this tired? You couldn’t remember it “I wasn’t supposed to have that spot” He added, laughing humorlessly “What about my team? What about them, Y/N? They missed their chances because I’m a son of a bitch” His hands fisted his hair and he gazed at the floor, embarrassed to raise his eyes and look at you.

   “You deserve it, Han! I watched every game for the last two years… You were incredible in each one of them. One bad day can’t just erase all of your hard work” You took your hand from his knee to rest it on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly “They’ll get another chance! All of you made some mistakes throughout the game… A lost match isn’t the responsibility of a single player, Han. You’re a team”

   “I missed the ball” He blurted out, and you raised your brows surprised.

   “Yeah, I know but it doesn’t mean you’re the one to—“ He interrupted you, voice firm and guilty.

   “No, I missed the ball” He shut his eyes, and you frowned, confused.

   “Yes, I know… What I mean is –“ You tried again, and this time he interrupted you with a peal of incredulous laughter but not a hint of humor in it.

   “No! You don’t understand it!” He whined, voice faltering as if he was about to cry “I missed it, Y/N… I choose not to save it! I missed the damn ball!” He raised his voice, half-yelling on the silent gym; voice echoing over and over again, sinking in your brain slowly.

   “You did what?” You couldn’t believe it. Why would he do something like that? You stood there, staring at him blankly, blinking a few times as you tried to make sense of what he just said. He looked at you with so much hurt in his eyes, that it was impossible not to feel the regret engulfing him right now.

  “I let my team lose… I took away their chances because I’m an egoistic son of a bitch” His voice was thick, heavy even, and yet it broke into a million pieces. You felt your heart sink, not knowing what to say. He covered his eyes, bringing his knees next to his chest to rest his face there, grip tightening on his hair.

  “Why?” You asked slowly, at a loss of words. He raised his head just a little bit, enough for you to get a glimpse of his teary eyes and quivering chin.

  “I don’t want to be a player” He confessed bluntly.

   At first, you gasped, dumbfounded.

   Then everything made sense all at once.

   “You want to be a musician” You blurted out, breathlessly “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before… Han, why are you here? Why aren’t you going after your dreams?” You couldn’t understand him. He was so talented! He did so much in his projects with Paris… What was he afraid of? It didn’t make any sense.

   “It doesn’t matter what I want… What does matter is that I ruined what everyone else wanted” He sighed, cupping his cheek as he tilted his head to the side, looking at you with a face that had failure written all over it “And for what? Just to get into a team… It was useless” You frowned, starting to get upset at him.

  “Do you think you’re some kind of god or something?” You snarled, scoffing and looking away from him before returning your gaze “Were you alone in that damn court, Han? Were you playing all by yourself?” You ranted. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, surprised by your outburst.

  “No, but I could have –“ You sneered, nodding in discontent.

  “And so could them!” You shouted, and he pursed his lips, afraid of speaking up. You sighed, shoulders dropping “Look… The only thing you should be feeling guilty about is to be a dumbass” You snorted, and he seemed to relax a little bit “How can you think that your dream doesn’t matter, Han? It’s all that matters… It’s your life. You just have this one to live” You looked deep into his eyes, and he averted them, flustered.

   “Actually… If you believe in reincarnation and –“ You groaned, interrupting him.

   “Don’t try to change the subject!” You threatened him with your eyes but he seemed to find it amusing, letting out a chuckle “Why aren’t you pursuing your dreams? Why are you here if you could make yourself a hell out of a musician?” You asked curiously, and his amusement faded away.

   “You’re going to laugh at me…” He trailed off. You squeezed his shoulder once more, encouraging him to speak “Dad was a volleyball player” He began awkwardly, and you nodded reassuringly “He got injured real bad and had to retire… He got kinda depressed, you know? It was his dream. He loved to play. It happened when I was a kid… I decided to join my school team, so he could watch my matches and… Well, I wanted to make him feel happy” He shrugged.

   You sighed, knowing damn well how it would end.

   “When I won my first match he was so excited… It was the first time he laughed like that in a long time, so I just… Well, I wanted to allow him to live his dream through me” He sighed “And I loved to play, I really did. Somewhere along the way, it stopped being my dream and it started to be my burden, though” He looked at you, waiting for your reaction, and you looked at him sympathetically.

   “So drop it” You advised, and he scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

   “You don’t understand it! I don’t want to disappoint him… He did nothing but support me my whole life, Y/N… I’m his Champ” He sounded bitter, lips twisting down “How can I take it away from him? How can I carry the burden of letting him down?” He sighed, and you chuckled. He raised his eyes, confused, and your chuckled grew to a giggle until you couldn’t stop laughing. He looked offended, so you rushed to wave your hands eagerly.

   “I’m not laughing at you!” You assured, shaking your head in amusement “It’s just… Han, I don’t think you could ever let him down, really. The man just adores you! He’d accept you as you are, Han. Whoever you are. He loves you, and he does it from the bottom of his heart” You reassured him, pushing his shoulder lightly “He even approved of your imaginary relationship with Paris and Minho” You pointed out, laughing.

   “Don’t even remind me of this!” He cringed “It was embarrassing” He sighed, glancing over at you.

   “No, it wasn’t” You chuckled “I think it’s awesome you have someone who loves you so much… I can’t even imagine how it works” You smiled sadly, shrugging “I mean… I think he would have your back. He asked us to say to you that he was really proud of you, even if you lost it… He was concerned you’d be embarrassed to look at him after your match, that was why he just left earlier” He gasped, and you snorted “You should have known it but you got so drunk…”

   “Do you think he will take it well?” He asked unsurely, and you got up, extending your hand for him to help him out. He took it, standing right in front of you “I mean… Don’t you think it’d be better if I kept playing for him? I even have a team” You opened your arms for a hug, and he stood there staring at you.

    “Han, put it inside your head” You rolled your eyes “Your father loves you so much… Do you think his dream is to see you playing? His dream is to see you happy, Han. He’d be happy if you were happy. That’s all you need to do” You stepped closer to him, hugging him. He leaned his head against your shoulder, inhaling deeply “Just chase your dreams and he’ll support you with all his heart, okay? You’ll be a great musician and He’ll go to every one of your shows with Paris’s foam glove” You chuckled.

    You squeezed him, trying to convey some peace into him, feeling how he melted, hugging you back full of love. It was a warm hug and for a split of a second, you remembered Hyunjin saying Han liked you. You tried to pull away, haunted by the mere thought of taking him away from Paris but he held you tight.

   You inhaled sharply.

   “I never had someone to talk like this…” He muttered against your shoulder, and you hummed, patting his back “No one ever supported me like this… I’m…” He trailed off, and you got it as a hint to break away from him, smiling uncomfortably, rubbing your nape.

   “I mean, you have a lot of supporters! You have me and Par—“ Before you could complete your sentence, he interrupted you, grabbing your shoulders firmly and looking deep in your eyes.

   Oh boy.

   “I like you” He confessed, simply like this, and you shut your eyes tightly, exhaling slowly. You couldn’t get away from this “I have liked you for a while now… I always had a crush on you, and I thought I could just let it go but I can’t” He continued, rubbing circles on your skin with his thumbs. You opened your eyes again, looking at him like you were in pain “If you can just give me a chanc—“ You placed your finger upon his lips, sighing.

   “I can’t, Han… I’d do anything for you, I really like you but… Like a brother or something like this. I never thought about you as more than a friend” You admitted, pursing your lips as he gave you a hurt expression.

   “Maybe we can try to go on a date? Just to see if we may click! Perhaps you can come to like m—“ You sighed again, shaking your head slowly.

  “I really can’t… It wouldn’t be fair to you and it wouldn’t be fair to… Well, it’s just not fair” You shrugged, trying to keep Paris out of your speech. He pursed his lips, twisting them down and lowering his gaze, ashamed to look at you “Don’t be like this, we can still be friends and—“ This time was his time to interrupt you.

  “I can’t do it right now” He admitted “How can I look at you every day knowing you don’t like me back? Knowing you’re going to be my friend out of pity?” He looked deep in your eyes, and you could see how conflicted he was right now. The tears prickled in your eyes, and you could see how his eyes were glossy as well.

   “I don’t pity you… I really want to be your friend!” You assured him eagerly, voice faltering. He snorted, nodding in understanding.

   “But I don’t want to be friends with you… I want to be something more” He sighed, voice faltering as well. It was a vulnerable moment, and he took a deep breath before letting go of your shoulders “It’s not that I don’t want to be friends with you anymore, okay? It’s just that I can’t do it right now… I need some time” He confessed, averting his eyes.

   “You promise you won’t bail on me?” You asked, holding your pinky out in the air, expecting him to lock his with yours.

  “Yeah, of course” He smiled weakly at you, locking your fingers together.

                                                                    ////

   It was needless to say you looked like shit as soon as you got home.

   The walk to the dorms was quiet and uncomfortable as Han made sure to drop you off, claiming that some rejection didn’t mean he couldn’t make sure you would get home safe. Although it was gentle and thoughtful, the silence sank in a way that made you cringe the whole way in the most awkward walk you ever had in your life.

  You opened the door and something about it ─maybe it was the popcorn smell, maybe it was the soft sound of unknown voices coming from the TV ─ made you realize that you were finally home. It hit you like a truck, and all the tiredness washed over you mercilessly. The weight of your busy day impregnated every fiber of your body, and suddenly you felt too worn out to say anything. You let out a heavy sigh, closing the door behind you before dropping your keys and bag to the counter, walking to the fridge to have some water.

      From morning to night, all your day was filled with worries.

      Paris raised her eyes from the TV ─ pausing whatever she was watching to look at you, which gave you a moment of comfortable silence that made you hum in approval─, studying you silently for a few seconds. She seemed to be puzzled by your nonchalantly self and somehow it pushed her to talk to you, even if it was pretty obvious you didn’t want to say anything right now.

   “You’re late” She stated, glancing over the clock before turning her gaze back at you “Were you with Hyunjin?” She smiled mischievously, tone knowing and teasing, and you looked at her far too done to play along “You look exhausted, the night must have been really nic—“ You shot her a look, deciding you weren’t up to this kind of bullshit right now.

  “I was with Han” You interrupted, and her face fell. She averted her eyes before biting her lip, turning her gaze back at you, unsure if she should say something. You kept looking at her, waiting for some kind of reaction but she was settled in look eager to know though too afraid to ask.

  As if it wasn’t enough, your head started to pound.

  “He confessed to me” You decided to come clean, studying her reaction. She raised her eyebrows slightly, not as surprised as you thought she would be. If you must describe it, she looked resigned, as if she knew it would happen all along. You frowned, narrowing your eyes to her “You knew?” You sounded accusatory, and she didn’t miss the tone.

   “I think you’re the only one who couldn’t see it” She admitted, “How did it go?” She couldn’t even look at your eyes, fixing her gaze on the floor. You took another gulp, roaming your eyes up and down at her. She fisted her hands, head dropped and body all stiff as if she was really afraid of your answer; her voice sounded weak enough for you to know she was fighting the urge to cry, and it made you sigh once more.

   “How could I do this to you?” You gave her a small smile, which she saw because her head snapped back at you, eyes widen as she took your smile in “You love him, don’t you?”

  “You knew?!” She was taken aback. It seemed like the mere thought of you knowing about her feelings didn’t even cross her head. She stood up from the couch, and for a moment you thought she would beam and hug you, maybe even thank you for letting him go. Not that you needed it. You widened your smile but she didn’t offer you one back.

   Paris looked offended.

   Not like her usual mock offended self, or her joking and kind self. She looked as if you just slapped her in her face. She was angry, to say the least, face red and brows furrowed, jaw clenched and you could see her swallowing dry. Her eyes held a storm inside them that you never saw before, and for a moment you wondered if you misunderstood her feelings.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” She spat, and you blinked twice, surprised, head tilting back slightly as if her words had impacted you like a punch “Did you… I can’t… What the fuck were you thinking?!” She yelled, stumbling over her words. You couldn’t understand her train of thoughts, so you just stood there speechless.

  What the fuck was going on?

  “Answer me!” She demanded, tears prickling her eyes “God… You’re… Why are you like this?! Why can’t you… Argh!” She groaned, fisting her hair and pulling it slightly, throwing her head back. She let go of her hair, shooting you a glare “Why?! Just tell me why!” She uttered, and you decided to rest your glass on the counter, confused.

  “I don’t follow you… Are you mad because I said no to him?” You asked just to be sure, and she laughed like a maniac. Out of nowhere. You glanced at your sides, startled, wondering if maybe it was all a joke and tons of cameras would take pictures of your flabbergasted self. She stopped laughing to clasp her hands, the sharp sound making you yelp.

  “How did you know I liked him?” She asked, trying to organize her questions, inhaling deeply so she could control herself.

  “You told me and Hyunjin when you got drunk at the party before our deadline” You answered simply, choosing to be the most straightforward as possible. She nodded, looking displeased with herself, scrunching her nose before turning her gaze back to you.

  “Why did you say no to him?” She asked, voice lower, and you scoffed amusedly.

  “What is it? Am I obliged to return his feelings now?” You chuckled but she didn’t seem to find it funny. She glared at you, and your laugh died inside your throat, making you gulp down. She approached you, getting right at the other side of the counter, looking dead serious to something as harmless as this.

   “He loves you!” She uttered, pissed off, and you clapped your hands, starting to get annoyed at her constant yelling. Your head throbbed and your thought flickered around the fact that you were too tired for it, too eager to go to your bed and lay down. Suddenly, all of your turbulent feelings seemed to find their way out of you, turning into anger and displeasure.

   “What do you want me to do?!” You fumed “I just fucking got out of your way! Why the hell you’re so fucking mad?!” You inquired, smacking the counter, startling her for a second. She recovered fast though, mimicking you the next second.

  “Out of my way?!” She grunted “Do you ever think about anyone at all?! How did you think I’d feel when you refused him out of pity?!” She raised her voice, looking at you full of disgust “So I should thank your holy ass because you got out of my way?” She laughed humorlessly “Maybe I didn’t want you to get out! Maybe I wanted you in!”

  What the fuck now?

  “Take your head out of your butt once in your life! How do you think I felt seeing him liking you all this time?! Hm?! Did you think it was fun to watch me liking him when he liked you?!” You watched as the first tear rolled down her face “Did you think I’d be glad because you’re pitying me?!” She spat, looking away, trying to hide her tears streaming down her face.

  It was enough for you to calm down a little bit.

  “I don’t pity you” You said softly, and she scoffed, shaking her head in contempt.

  “Yeah? But you should!” She said bitterly “Did you know I liked him for two years?! Did you know how much I wanted to confess to him?! Do you know why I didn’t?!” It was hard to understand what she was saying; her voice sounding thick as she tried to hold back her tears, choking and sobbing as she tried to yell at you, all at the same time.

  “Paris, calm down” You asked, concerned, and she groaned once more, pressing her palms against her eyes before punching the counter.

  “Calm down?! I stepped away because I love you, Y/N! Because I love him!” her face was twisted in pain and regret, and you wanted to reach out for her but you didn’t, afraid of her reaction “You’re my best friend! I’d do anything for you! Anything!” She cried, hiccupping as she tried to recompose herself “You know how much it took for me to let him go so you could be with him? You shouldn’t reject him because of me! I can’t have gone through all this for nothing!” She yelled, devasted.

  “Why would you do that, Paris?” You were so confused right now, so lost in everything she was saying… She laughed, choking on her saliva before continuing, and you pondered about giving her your glass of water but the thought of a pissed Paris having a glass to throw at you demotivated you immediately.

   “Because you’re lonely!” She howled, whimpering, and trying to recompose herself once more.

   The silence was deafening.  

  “I… You… What?” You floundered, and she shut her eyes, sighing.

  “Because you’re lonely, Y/N… Because I know you need love in your life… Because I know Han can make you happy…” She dragged each sentence out of her chest, in a serious tone, crying toning down a bit, sounding utterly worn out “If what I have to do to make sure you end up happy is to step away and give up on him… Then I’d do it gladly” She concluded, and suddenly you could relate to her pained expression, scoffing in disbelief before breaking into a fit of laughter.

   You were fully aware you sounded crazy as you cackled up, smacking the counter over and over again as if she had just told you a hilarious joke. The laughter didn’t last for long, though, dying into your throat as your smacking turned harder each time until you were punching the counter, tears pouring out of your eyes uncontrollably. You shut your eyes closed, keeping hitting it nonstop until the pain you felt in your hand could cloud any other thought.

   “You call this friendship?” You gestured between both of you, voice trembling and breaking “You said I don’t think about anyone but what about you, Paris?” You asked bitterly, and when she averted her eyes, rage engulfed you “What about you, Paris?!” You yelled, smacking the counter once again “So you’re saying you did it all for me?! Out of pity?! Because I need love?!” You laughed humorlessly, shooting your head back to breathe deeply “I need a therapist, Paris! That’s what I need”

   You picked up your bag, glaring at her.

   “And you know what?! That’s what you need too!” You dropped your bag again, fuming “Giving up on someone you love because you think I need it more than you?! Don’t blame me for being a coward!” You scoffed, rolling your eyes “Do you want to be canonized or something? Do you think it makes you more worthy of love than me?” She gasped, trying to shake her head to deny it but you snorted and raised your hand for her to stop “Are you so desperate you’d do anything to be worthy of love? Am I so unworthy that you thought nobody but he could love me?” Your voice calmed down, the anger left behind to give way to an unwavering cold tone.

   “No, Y/N, that’s not what I mea—“ You picked up your bag, walking to the door “Where are you going?” She asked worried, trying to get closer to you.

   “Did you think that I might not love him back? Do you think I’m so desperate for love that I wouldn’t even think about my feelings? That I’d accept anything? Did you really think about my feelings at all?” You sighed, opening the door, ignoring her question “I don’t love him, Paris… I’m sorry you had to hold back your feelings all this time. I’m sorry it was so hard on you. I’m sorry for not coming up to your expectations…”

   You looked at her, deep in her eyes, and both of you held your urge to cry, looking at each other as if only hurt could dwell in your soul right now. Neither of you said anything, holding each other’s stare for a while, taking in the entire situation.

   “But all that…?” You gestured at her, hand fumbling in the air “It’s all on you” You stated seriously “Don’t blame me for things you decided by yourself… I have enough of this with my father, thank you very much” You snickered “If you were really glad to give up on him, you wouldn’t beam thinking I had something with Hyunjin, would you?” She bit her lips, averting her eyes embarrassed “Maybe you should think about why you’re so riled up about this… I didn’t reject him because I pity you, Paris…”

   You held up your breath before exhaling heavily, positioning yourself to get out. You hesitated for a second on the doorframe, facing the hall, back turned at her before voicing your thoughts once more,“But if you really wanna know, I think now I do” And with this being said, you closed the door, making sure to not look behind.

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 5 - Red in the Face

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Mostly fluff but PTSD related events (panic attack).

Summary: An uneventful few months await the reader as her relationship with Joel and a Ellie develops - things take an interesting turn when Ellie stays over at the reader's house.

Word Count: 5.574

Author's Note: Yet another chapter named after a Mad Men episode, I think the name is fitting eheh... And as someone who doesn't drink coffee, I'm leaving what type of coffee Joel drinks to your imagination. Ahh anyways thank you all so much for reading!! 🥰

Enjoy!

Having a cup of coffee in the afternoon became a routine for you and Joel every two or three weeks. Sometimes once a week and with the company of Tommy or (mostly) Ellie, but you'd invite him over either after patrol or on your day off and just enjoy each other's company. You always had the morning shifts and Joel had the night shifts - sometimes you'd be assigned at the same time, but to different places or with different partners. The only thing you two had in common was your day off's, but not once had you two gone on patrol together, until one day Joel noticed how you came across traders on your patrol route more often than him and always brought him some coffee. He felt like he ought to repay that and invite you over for a different occasion other than dinner with the others. He grew quite fond of you in the following months after your first 'coffee session'. It was mid-June when he had asked Tommy to assign the both of you on patrol.

"Why?" Tommy smirked.

"She always comes across traders and brings me coffe, lord knows what she gives up for it..." Joel crossed his arms and stood in front of Tommy as he scribbled something down on his notebook in his office.

"So you're gonna give up patrollin' with me for our beloved Dolly, huh?" Tommy mocked offense as he closed the notebook and pushed it aside, looking up at Joel with a grin.

"She okay with you callin' her Dolly?" Joel raised his brows.

"She's okay with only us callin' her that."

"By us you mean-"

"By god, Joel," Tommy laughed heartily as he got up from his chair. "You can be so oblivious sometimes."

"What do you want from me?" Joel blushed lightly. "She'd break my fingers and shove them down my throat, I don't wanna be on her bad side."

"Yes, she would," Tommy nodded and stood across Joel, snickering. "But have you actually tried calling her that? She likes you, y'know."

Joel had thought on each word that came out of Tommy's mouth: Even if you hadn't admitted out loud, he knew you had a thing for Walt. He had a pretty keen eye for these stuff after all and didn't even bother giving the idea of you being interested in him a chance.

The twist was, his keen eyes will be proven wrong in the future. Twice.

Tommy and Maria were already aware of everything - even Ellie could see the way Joel looked at you, how his attention immediately shifted from whoever he was talking to or whatever he was doing to you whenever you made an entrance. Tommy broke the news of the patrol switch to Maria by saying that if neither of them had asked for it any sooner, I would've done it myself.

What about Walt? Well, yeah, about him...

Walt and Bonnie announced themselves as an official pair not long after your fight back in April. They lasted way longer than any of you had anticipated, which made you lose all hopes of getting with Walt, but it didn't bother you as much ever since Joel and you started going on patrols together. He was with you for a big part of the day and he was somewhat an even better company than Walt.

A few days after your fight, you asked Maria to assign you with Walt for that day's shift.

"Walt?" You called for him, nervous.

"(Y/N)..." His voice indicated that he wasn't hostile, just as stressed to confront you as you were.

"Let's talk?" You rubbed your hands together and he nodded in return, following you outside the gates. You rode on horses in silence for awhile until you reached the lodge lookout.

The both of you moved inside and Walt wrote down your names on the patrol logbook: 23/4; Walt/(Y/N); All clear -W.

You pursed your lips as you placed your backpack on the floor, then sat on a chair at the table. Walt sat across you - he always used to sit next to you, but now he was hesitant.

"Look, Walt," You began. "If I offended you in anyway-"

"No, (Y/N)," Walt interrupted you immediately. "I was being an ass, then in the heat of the moment we both said some stuff, but I hope I didn't cross any boundaries?"

"...No, but, you were acting so strange?" You looked at him, then decided to add: "Even Joel thought you were jealous of us until I told him that you had a thing with Bonnie."

Walt's eyes widened: "He- what?"

"I mean, if I didn't know you, I'd have thought the same..." You studied his face for a reaction, but only got a dumbfounded look. "Walt, look. I know you don't like Joel, but he's done good by me. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have been here."

Walt stared at you, a mixed expression made of guilt and embarrassment on his face. You got up and sat by his side when he stayed silent: "I don't know why you don't like him - you don't have to explain yourself to me. I owe him my life and- well, at least be respectful to him. For my sake."

"But, what about him?"

"Joel treats people the way they treat him. He's struggling to fit in - if he sees that you mean well, he'll treat you the same way."

Walt nodded, ashamed of his childish acts, but hugged you tight when you said Come here and opened your arms for him. You both hugged each other, glad that this tension between you was officially over; but you two were never the same after that. Your romantic interest died down in the following months and Walt started spending more time with Bonnie to the point of ignoring you and, well, Joel being made your official patrol partner didn't help the case. You were really curious to find out why Walt didn't like Joel, but you had already said you didn't care and decided to leave it alone.

Despite the awkwardness, the time you spent with Joel on patrol from mid-June til the end of November had made significant improvements on your relationship. At this point, everyone (Tommy, Maria and Ellie being the most) was impatiently waiting for either of you to kiss the other, but neither of you were aware of each other's feelings. Joel didn't want to make a move to avoid ruining what he had with you because, even if you didn't spend as much time with Walt, he still thought you had a thing for the redhead; thus his 'disinterest' discouraged you to make a move of your own. Although you were sure he somewhat fancied you -because, come on, no one can deny the tension between you two- you also didn't want to make things awkward.

But nothing would've been more awkward than what you had gone through on an eventful December afternoon.

Joel and you were about to go on patrol, when Maria caught up to the both of you: "Joel, Dolly, wait."

"What's up?" You asked as you were about to get on your horse.

"Chad was on the Creek Trails a few days back, he told me there were a lot of infected over there," Maria sighed, then gave you an apologetic look. "You need backup."

It took you a moment to understand that Tommy was, in fact, not going to be the backup: "Maria, no-"

"Too late." Maria shut her eyes and looked away when Walt approached from behind her. There he was, only a week and a half later after his breakup with Bonnie, his posture giving away the fact that the effects of the said breakup were taking a toll on him.

The tension in the air was suffocating. You whispered Fuck me... under your breath as Maria told him to ride with either Joel or you, as they couldn't spare another horse. Walt and Joel weren't on bad terms after your confrontation with Walt, but they just stayed away from each other. This was going to be a hell of a patrol.

"C'mon," you forced a fake smile to your lips and beckoned him to ride with you. He got up, sat behind you and grabbed the edges of the saddle of the horse, then all of you rode off.

There was a blizzard on the way, it seemed, for the weather was cloudy and the wind was sharp against your cheeks as you rode through inches thick snow. Focusing on your horse was a good enough distraction, but the road ahead was short. When all of you arrived, you began biting the insides of your lips.

Walt went up first, helping you up the rope and words weren't quite enough to describe your surprise when Walt also offered Joel a hand. He must've been shocked too, for he took a while to grab Walt's arm and pull himself up. Maybe today won't be so awkward after all! After writing down a new entry on the logbook, you listened to the two men as you pretended to go through the pages of the logbook.

"We shouldn't stay here too long," Walt spoke quietly. "Let's complete the route and go back before the blizzard hits."

"Agreed," Joel spoke and turned to you. "C'mon."

You gladly obliged as you really didn't want to be stuck with them in a blizzard. You didn't go through the Creek Trails too often as the route involved a river beside an old evacuated town, but you acted like it wasn't a big deal. Tommy was the first to show you the Creek Trails and it was going well until you reached the river. A scenario similar to the one with Joel right before you reached Jackson played out. Tommy was fortunately informed by Joel about your condition months ago, so he kept things mostly under control. He wasn't unfamiliar with the situation: There were many people in Jackson who suffered the same way you did from PTSD, but still, he never thought he'd see you like that.

It had been almost a year since you took this route and luckily, the current was slow, almost frozen. Going through the town, you all scouted the houses quickly. Everything seemed okay until you reached the supermarket, where Joel heard distressing noises from inside.

"We need a few people to secure the windows here," You said and got in position, rifle at the ready. You and Walt went in first, Joel following from behind.

"Just like the good ol' days, huh?" Walt whispered.

"You mean our patrol days or militarily?" You smiled, to which he replied Both.

Sweeping through the outer aisles were easy, nothing you hadn't done before. But the further you walked in, you noticed the spores beginning to appear: "Masks on, boys."

You pushed open a door slowly, only to be greeted by three clickers and a few runners in the main isle. The whole sweep went quietly for the most part, until a runner saw Joel.

"Joel!" You ran over to him. Joel, startled, turned around and leaned back on the glass to pull his pistol out but the runner was closer than he thought. It directly ran into him, pushing them through the glass and shattering it. You quickly shot the runner, but were horrified at the sight in front of you: The parking lot was swarming with infected.

You quickly hopped over to Joel's side and pulled him up, Walt right behind you. The noise had obviously attracted all the infected toward you all.

"Shit!" You jumped back as there was no place left to escape from the parking lot. Walt began shooting at them, giving Joel time to go inside, then followed you both back the way you came.

"This way!" Joel beckoned as he went through a different door which led to a long hallway. You put down a couple of runners before closing the door and ran to where Walt and Joel were.

"Through here," Joel said and entered a room to your right. He closed the door and the three of you pushed a vending machine in front of it, breathing heavily as the infected made their way into the corridor, kicking and scratching at the door of the room.

"We need to clear them out-" Walt.

"We can't," Joel interrupted him. "There are too many of 'em. We'll come back with more people but right now we gotta get outta here."

"Through here," you called them over to a hole on the wall. "Boost me up."

Joel and Walt made a move and stopped at the same time, Walt letting Joel go first, once more, to everyone's surprise. Joel pushed you up and you pulled yourself through the wall but lost your balance and fell: "Fuck-!"

You landed on your feet but you were sure you sprained -or maybe even fractured- your ankle when you landed and cried out in pain.

"(Y/N)?!" Both men shouted from the other side in panic, Walt quickly getting into position to boost Joel up: "Go, quick!"

"I'm fine," You hissed, quickly looking around the room to find it empty. "It's clear here."

Joel jumped down and kneeled beside you: "You okay?"

"My ankle, I-" You stared into Joel's eyes but with a loud crash, infected filled the room. Without wasting time, Joel dragged you toward a counter to your right and pulled out his pistol again. A great amount of anxiety washed over you - how the hell were you going to get out of this? And where the hell was Walt?!

But you knew you couldn't give into fear, not now. You always found a way out... Even though your ankle ached really bad and it began reminding you of the time when the Hunters-

You pushed yourself up to see how many infected you were dealing with. Relieved to see only two clickers and four runners, you looked over to Joel and he looked at you: "Cover me."

You nodded as he sneaked over to the closest runner and took it down without attracting any attention to himself. He took down the other one as well, but before he could approach the third, Joel stepped on a broken piece of glass and suddenly had four infected running towards him. You shot down the remaining runners before he retreated back to where you were, stunning a clicker with a brick in the meanwhile. You realized, to your horror, that you ran out of ammo at that moment and had to reload, but there was no time. Joel took down one of the two clickers with his remaining bullets, but neither of you could do anything about the last one. Joel grabbed you by the arm and helped you over the counter before the clicker could get a hold of you, but he pulled you with such panick and force, you fell on top of him with a Oof!

Joel must've hit his head - his movements slowed down and couldn't push the both of you away from the approaching clicker. Your ankle was twisted up in this position, which made you whine in pain as you tried to turn around with Joel's knife in hand, but couldn't. You growled and cried out, a buzzing in your ear similar to the stream drowning out the terrorising noises of the clicker as it made its way toward you.

"Joel, get up, come on!" Tears streamed down your face and you watched as he opened his eyes, which widened at the sight before him.

Joel hugged you by the waist, turned you around and pressed you down on the ground, covering your body with his before the clicker reached you.

Thud!

Your eyes were shut tight, the only thing you could hear was muffled voices of Walt grunting and sounds of stabbing as you struggled to breathe. You opened your eyes and looked to the left to see Walt stabbing the hell out of the clicker. You watched with terrified eyes as he slowly got up, mask covered in blood and looked over to the both of you, breathing heavily: "Y'all... y'all okay?"

Joel slowly raised his head up and looked at Walt, then back to you. Your eyes glowed with your tears as Joel stared at them - his right hand was holding the back of your neck and the left one was tight around your waist. Was he really about to sacrifice himself so that you'd survive?

Was he even aware what that would've done to you?

He got off you slowly, still holding you by the neck and turned to Walt: "Yeah- you clean?"

"Yup, I'm okay," Walt coughed and kneeled beside you. "We need to get out of here."

"She's hurt- Can you walk darlin'?" Joel asked, rubbing the side of your neck with his thumb in slow motions to calm you as your whole body trembled.

"I don't know," You whispered and sniffed. You grabbed both men's hands and pulled yourself up, but cried out when you tried to take a step forward, almost collapsing on spot.

"I got you," Joel walked in front of you and kneeled slightly, then Walt helped you up on his back. He grabbed your thighs and adjusted your form, then began following Walt out of the market.

"Joel..." You pressed your masked face against his coat and whimpered, hanging onto him as if your life depended on it.

"We're almost out, Dolly, you're safe," Joel reassured you. Luckily for you all, there were no infected outside but the weather had significantly gotten worse. Walt quickly got up on your horse and picked you up, making you sit on the saddle as Joel hopped on his own horse. You all rode off the way you came as fast as you could, barely making it back to Jackson without a delay.

The three of you took off your masks once you were inside. Joel immediately rushed to your side while Walt was helping you off the horse.

"I'll take her to the doctor," Joel grabbed you and carried you bridal style while Walt nodded and went over to the stables.

"It hurts really bad," You spoke as he carried you, voice cracking but feeling safer in his arms. "I- I think it's broken."

"You're fine Dolly... almost there. Katherine is going to fix you up, don't you worry."

It turned out that you had fractured your ankle and Katherine told you that had you taken a harder fall, you could've broken it altogether. You spent the night at the infirmary after she insisted, Ellie and some of the other kids staying with you for awhile before Katherine asked them to leave you so you could rest.

"You won't be getting rid of me this easily after you're back home!" Ellie had said before she left.

And she was quite right, for she was the one to help you back to your house with Maria the next day.

"Ellie, I'm fine, it's not like I have a concussion and broken ribs..." As much as you appreciated her help, you felt bad for taking up her time.

"You can't walk without crutches and I know for a fact that you're gonna get bored - you could use some company." Ellie sat beside you on your bed after Maria left. Katherine had said that your ankle was going to take around a month to heal and you wanted to bang your head against a wall then, not wanting to sit around. Maria and Tommy offered you to stay at their house a million times but you just wanted to be alone with your thoughts and trauma. You wanted to think about anything and everything and you knew no one other than Joel and Ellie would grant you such opportunity while being by your side. That's how your first day went: Ellie stayed until late hours and Joel visited when his shift was done.

"How're you feelin'?" He asked, standing by the bed where you'd been sleeping before he came.

"Alright I guess," You sighed. "I can't stand sitting around and doing nothing. It's like my first weeks here all over again."

Joel chuckled, then looked at the frame on your night stand, picking it up. It was a picture of you and Kurt in it: "I've been seein' this picture every time I came here and couldn't help but wonder who he is..."

You smiled and turned to your side a little, patting on the bed so that he'd sit down: "That would be Kurt. You could say he was my... mentor or something."

"Oh, right. Was he...?" Joel trailed off after sitting beside you.

"Yeah, he was there with them..." You nodded, remembering the day when you all got ambushed. "Eugene reminds me of him sometimes."

Joel nodded quietly and put the frame down: "I uh, I got one too. A picture of me and my... daughter."

You gave him a surprised look - you already knew his story, but you were genuinely surprised that he actually opened up to you about it after almost eight months. You felt a little guilty about having heard of this story before as he told you what had happened to Sarah. You keept quiet and let him vent, but hearing the story from Joel himself sent shivers down your spine - as if you were hearing it for the first time.

"I'm so sorry, Joel," You said once he finished. After a short moment of hesitation, you slowly put your hand on top of his. "I really am. I can't imagine how horrifying that must've been for you."

Joel whispered a small Yeah and looked away, not moving his hand from under yours and enjoying your small gesture. His thumb moved out under your own and rubbed it gently.

"I wish I could take a photo of you two right now!" Ellie suddenly appeared from the hallway, making the both of you jerk away from each other. She had gone to get something when Joel arrived a few minutes ago: "I wanted to stay here for the night, is that okay?"

Your eyes widened and so did your smile: "You don't have to, sweetie-"

"If I get too bored here, can she come and stay with you for a few days?" Ellie suddenly asked Joel.

"Now, Ellie, don't force her to do something she doesn't wanna do. She's too kind to decline."

You blushed a little at his comment and playfully slapped his shoulder: "Nobody's forcing me into anything, cowboy. Besides, it's your house - if I have a permission to stay, then I'll consider staying."

Joel smiled shyly: "You're right... Ah, what the hell, why don't you come over tonight?"

It was your turn to blush: "Not today, I'm afraid, I just want to sleep here for awhile."

"Alrighty then," Joel dropped his hands on his thighs, then got up. "Just let me know when you wanna stay 'n I'll come pick you up."

With that Joel left, wishing the both of you a goodnight. Ellie changed into her 'pyjamas' and curled up on the bed next to you before pulling the blanket over her body. The only light illuminating the room was the candle in you gas lamps on the nightstands on each side. You turned to Ellie - she seemed to be lost in her thoughts. You two were laying like you did in that cabin, the memory making you smile.

"So, when are you two gonna get married?" Ellie asked all of a sudden.

"Oh shush, Ellie," You squirmed and look away, making her laugh.

"I still cannot believe you two aren't together already!" Ellie spoke excitedly. "I don't know what's keeping you two... Don't tell me you still want Walt-"

"No, no," You blushed, running your fingers through your hair. "Hey, who says Joel likes me anyways? He's clearly not interested in me, Ells."

Ellie's expression turned serious. Looking you dead in the eye, she spoke, struggling not to curse: "You have got to be kidding me."

"What?!" Your eyes widened. You weren't sure if you wanted to hear the rest of what she had to say or not.

"No offense, (Y/N)," Ellie sat up. "I know Joel is blind, but I never thought you'd be as blind as him."

You weren't sure how to react, so you just stared off to the ceiling and thought: Joel was always so sweet toward you. He was patient, careful, gentle and protective... But wasn't that how he always was? You weren't really that special, were you?

"Oh god..." You sighed and covered your face with both of your hands. "Are you serious?"

"Oh, no I was just joking," Ellie rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm fucking serious!"

"Joel always had this silly idea that after all this time you were still into Walt," Ellie explained as you rubbed your face upwards and ran your hands through your hair. "I sometimes force a few words out of him about you and everyone knows that he has eyes for you... except for you it seems."

Your heart felt like bursting: "Oh dear lord, this can't be real..."

"Awh, look at you!" Ellie snuggled closer to you. "Blushing like a teenager, haha!"

"Says you!" You changed the topic and tickled her sides, making her drop to her side. "I may be blind with my own case, but I'm not blind enough to miss my Ellie's romantic shenanigans."

Ellie suddenly stopped laughing, face flushed red: "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Look who's blushing like a teen now," You smiled softly. "I've worked with children enough to see some things you think we can't see."

You honestly didn't have a clue she liked girls the first month you knew her. It all started adding up some time after Joel and her came back to Jackson. The kids there liked you and you liked them - they were mostly young teens who needed mentoring for patrols or with anything. You mentored Dina and Jesse for a while before Ellie arrived and Eugene began mentoring Dina. You saw the way Ellie got nervous around Cat - the way she blushed and stuttered while Cat was more confident around her. Ellie talked to you about everything but her own 'love life' and you never forced her to, whenever you cracked a few jokes, she'd immediately tense up and change the subject. After two or three times, it clicked - she was definitely into girls.

"How... how long have you known?" Ellie asked and got off the bed, turning around and doing her stressed finger gesture.

"Awhile now," You sat up as best as you could and stared at her worriedly. "Ellie, it's okay." She slowly turned around, panick spread across her face. "Are you okay sweetie?"

"No," Her voice cracked after a moment of silence.

You beckoned her back to bed beside you: "It's alright baby, there's nothing to be scared of..." She sniffed and climbed back to bed, finding her comfort in your embrace. "It's okay, Ellie."

"Does Joel know?" She asked quietly as you brushed your fingers through her hair, hugging her.

"No, I don't think he does. I haven't told anyone what I thought, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh, okay-" Ellie took a deep breath. "Thank you, (Y/N)."

"You'll tell him when you feel ready," You placed a small kiss on the side of her head. "This goes for anyone. Whenever you're ready, you'll tell them."

"But, what if they're not okay with it?"

"Well, fuck them." You smiled when she gave you a look. "If they can't deal with you for who you are, there's something wrong with them, not you."

The words seemed to have an effect on her, for her breathing calmed down and her eyes focused on a spot in your room, probably deep in thought. You two stayed like that for a while, Ellie eventually yawning and cuddling up to you after blowing out the candle on her side.

"Goodnight darling," You kissed her temple and blew out the candle by your side. "Love you."

"Love you too, (Y/N)," Ellie whispered sleepily, then fell asleep in your arms.

You felt like, after that, you had earned Ellie's trust completely. She became more like a daughter to you, which made things between you and Joel a little awkward considering he was like a father to her. You wondered if she thought of the both of you as her parents - if she felt the joy of having parental figures around her with the both of you. She'd come to you whenever she felt down or emotional- or for anything, really. You both had a factor in common which helped you both relate to and understand each other: survivor's guilt. It was upsetting, but you two had each other. You told Ellie what she wanted to hear and vice versa.

By New Year's, she gave you the most precious gift: A masterfully drawn picture of you... with Joel in a frame.

"Christmas comes but once a year!" Ellie chuckled at your reddening face. "I thought you might like this."

"Like?" You laughed. "I absolutely love this- Ellie, you're so talented. Thank you so much, sweetheart."

"Whatcha got there?" Joel leaned forward over your shoulder to take a look at the picture and his eyes widened immediately. "Oh..."

"Right? Isn't it beautiful?" You stared at the picture in awe, cheeks heating up.

"It really is," Joel turned his head to your face slightly, his nose inches away from your cheek. After Ellie had purposefully nonchalantly revealed that your interest in Walt had died a long time ago and that you had said this yourself, much to Joel's relief, he really began thinking on making a move when it was convenient. The problem was, he just didn't know how to, until Ellie came up with a gift idea.

"Did you get something for (Y/N)?" She asked Joel on patrol one day.

"What for?"

"Uh, the word Christmas ring a bell? Well, I found a frame for her, so she can put that picture of hers in it. She always complained about not coming across a frame for it, I think she'll appreciate it."

Joel thought on her words: He had completely forgotten about Christmas - it was his first after many many years, after all. Ellie noticed the thoughtful look on his face and spoke: "You know what? Why don't you give her the frame?"

"I- What?"

"You heard me," Ellie smirked. "I'll get her something else, you should give her the frame instead."

Joel had remained quiet then, but thought about Ellie's offer for awhile and, once he was back at home, an idea presented itself in his little workshop in his house.

"Y'know what?" Joel had given the frame back to her the next day. "You hold onto this, I'm gonna make her something."

And that was what you were greeted with right after you took your eyes off Ellie's gift: "I got a little somethin' for you."

It was a wooden frame, beautifully carved flowers on the corners and the picture of Alpha One in it. Your heart skipped a beat, your breathing coming to a stop, eyes widening at the sight.

You slowly took the frame from him with trembling hands. The happiness you felt was indescribable, did he actually take his time to make this? For you? Your eyes teared up: "My god... How did you get this?"

"You could say a little bandit helped me," Joel smiled over to Ellie, who was watching the both of you with an excited grin spread across her face.

You exhaled with a short laugh, looked between your gift and Joel and then, despite the cast around your ankle, pushed yourself up. His expression turned into a panicked one for a second before you turned around, giggled with tears rolling down your face and hugged him. It took Joel a moment to process what was happening, but he quickly returned the hug and wrapped his arms around your waist: "Thank you, Joel."

"Merry Christmas, Dolly," Joel sighed, content. A genuinely happy smile formed on his lips and his eyes closed unintentionally, finding the comfort he sought for so long in your arms. You felt like, his arms around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder - his body was made for yours, like puzzle pieces.

"Mistletoe!" Ellie suddenly appeared by the both of you, stepping on your seat with the said plant in hand, holding it above the both of you and shaking it.

You pulled away from him, hands resting on his shoulders as you stared at Ellie with embarrassment. Joel, cheeks red like the ribbon which held the mistletoe together, looked away shyly. You bit your lower lip and turned your head back towards him, gazed into his eyes with a soft smile playing on your lips. Your hands moved up to his neck slowly, eyes glowing. This cannot be happening.

Ah, what the hell, just go for it, were Joel's last thoughts before he pulled you close by your waist and pressed his lips to yours. A long overdue, passionate, deep kiss was shared between you two; a kiss that made everyone in the room cheer and clap at the sight.

"Finally!"

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

CRUSHES AND DATES || 1 ||

summary: Jaewon has had a crush on Nia since 6th grade but is too afraid to speak up.

pairing: jung jaewon x black!OC

genre: fluff

word count: 2k

___________________________________________🖊

Jaewon sighed as one of his friends and fellow classmates pressure him yet again to ask Nia, one of the prettiest girls in school, out on a date. Two reasons why he was scared... 1. She was insanely pretty. 2. She doesn't go out with just "anyone". She's only had one boyfriend and that was their freshmen year of high school....They're seniors now. Jaewon heard the guy cheated because she wouldn't have sex him or some shit like that.

He couldn't stop eyeing her. Everything about was beautiful. The way she laughed, smile and talked to people. Jaewon only had a few classes with her and only one of them he say directly beside her, and that was music class. Her voice was heavenly too. She sounded like an angel, even when she came to school sick that one time, she still sounded like the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. She's perfect in his eyes...which is exactly why he's scared, adding onto the more and more reasons.

Jaewon felt like he wasn't anything special. Yeah he had a few tattoos and a couple piercings but what else came after that? He was an anime freak, he was in the chess club in school and everyone called him weird because he was Valedictorian. He was an insane nerd and honors student, never went to a party, function, or anything that involved socializing.

"Kris, It's not that easy." Jaewon mumbled, nibbling on his half finished food. He watched from across the lunch room to see Nia laughing with her group of friends, some were nice some were mean as ever.

"You won't know until you try—Look, you're a good looking guy with a great personality, plus I heard from a little birdie that Nia's been checking you out for the past two weeks." Kris informed, patting Jaewon on the back, who started to choke on his bubble tea.

The subtle information have Jaewon a wee bit of confidence but still not enough to get up and ask her out on a date. So he just sat there, with his head resting in his hand as he watched the love of his life laugh it up with her friends, as he wished it were him making her smile.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the cafeteria, Nia and her friends laughed at a joke she told the small table, before the laughter died down and things got a little serious.

"So when you gonna stop being a pussy and go ask the nerd out?" One of her friends asked, nodding to Jaewon who subtly kept staring their way. Nia gave her friend a small smile and nodded her head.

"I don't know, I really like him, but you know I ain't been in a relationship in a lil minute." She explained, pushing her mushy food away. Her friend rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Why waste your time? He's been crushing on you since 6th fucking grade and we're in high school! He's a fucking wimp!" Another friend spoke up, annoyance etched in her voice.

"If you finna keep that nasty ass attitude you can get the fuck away from my table. Negative Nancy." Nia retorted, causing them friend to roll her eyes and keep her mouth shut, letting the other two continue their conversation.

It was no secret to her friends that Nia was head over heels for Jaewon, but it had only been known around the school for a week or two. She's been crushing on him since their junior year of high school when they had a music project together. She didn't get to see how much of a good person he really was but she saw some aspects of him and it was enough for her to take an interest in him.

"Girl. Shoot yo damn shot!" The encouraging friend exclaimed, as the hell rung. The small group gathered their things and headed to their next class. Nia was a little excited, because she had music after lunch and she sat right next to Jaewon.

Walking into class, Nia sat down in her seat and grabbed her notes from her last time in the class, going over them briefly before she felt a figured beside her. She turned around to see Jaewon shyly sitting down in his seat as he too pulled out his notebook. Nia looked at him for a few seconds before she decided to give small talk. The teacher was always 20-30 minutes late so they had time.

"Hey Jaewon." She spoke lowly, scooting her seat closer to him. He widened his eyes and looked around the classroom to make sure she was talking to him but the class was small and he was the only Jaewon around so ... She was.

"H-Hey Nia." He mumbled, tracing his tattoos, something he did when he got nervous. Nia immediately picked up on that.

"You don't have to be so nervous around me. I don't bite...hard." She smiled, leaning close to him. He yet again widened his eyes and nodded his head. His heart was beating fast as hell right now.

"I don't wanna be rude, but why are you talking to me?" He asked. This felt like some sort of sick joke, and he wasn't finding it funny.

"Because I like you..a lot." She responded boldly, deciding to just sit out her feelings.

Jaewon's heart rate increased with rapid speed. What she joking? This had to be a joke. The girls he's been pining after... for years, just told him that she likes him.

"W-what?" He asked, not knowing what to say. She laughed and gave his flushed cheek a kiss.

"You're adorable and an amazing person." She complimented, doodling on her paper.

"A-am I amazing enough for you to go on a date with me this weekend?" He asked, testing his luck. Friday was the perfect day for them to go on a date, they didn't have school because of teachers work day or some shit like that.

Nia smiled, and nodded her head, ignoring the fact that on the inside she was bursting with happiness and butterflies. Jaewon let out a breathe of relief before he nodded his head and smiled at her.

Soon the teacher came in and the two didn't bother to even pay attention, too focused on each other.

{after school}

"I did it!" Jaewon yelled, running into his friend, who stood beside his car waiting for him. Kris gave him a proud smile as his friend excitedly unlocked the car door and hopped in the drivers side.

"So you finally had the balls to ask her." Kris acknowledged, feeling like a proud father. Jaewon nodded his head and started the car, immediately pulling out the of the drive way and going to his house since it was closer.

"Well, she admitted to me that she liked me! Then that's when I asked her out! Then we exchanged numbers!" He replied, speeding down the road. Kris gave his friend a shocked expression but nodded his head in approval.

"See, you did all that procrastinating and self doubting yourself. Only to find out she likes you too. Match made in heaven. Black girl and asian guy BOOM!" Kris rambled, making his shy friend blush, as he pulled into the driveway.

The two got out of the car and walked to the door...well Kris walked to the door, Jaewon ran like his life depended on it. He hiked upstairs and hurriedly opened his MacBook. Soon Kris came in and plopped down on the bed, immediately taking a nap, not even caring that he wasn't in his room. Jaewon started to begin his homework until he had a sudden facetime call. His heart dropped at who was calling.

Nia💞💍 would like to facetime...

He pressed the green button and was welcomed with the beautiful face of the girl he’s been in love with for nearly his entire life. She gave him a smile.

"Hey, I was doing homework and I thought about you so I decided to call." She spoke, writing on what Jaewon guesses was paper. "I hope you don't mind,"

Jaewon shook his head and gave her a smile, "Oh no, not at all, I was just getting started on my homework."

The next few hours the two spoke over the phone, exchanging more laughs and smiles before it was eventually time for her to get off. Nia hung up the phone. Jaewon sighed lovingly and smiled...again.

{Friday}

When Friday rolled around, Jaewon felt knots in his stomach. The entire week of school he had been sitting with her at lunch, walking her to class, giving her subtle kisses on her cheek, and at home they stayed on the phone all night until they both saw each other's faces at school. Jaewon hadn't felt this happy in a long time, and he hoped it lasted forever.

"Jaewon pay attention to me." Nia whined as the two were cuddled up in lunch. She was almost sitting in his lap because of how close they were and both her legs were in between his.

Jaewon laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "You're really needy today."

"Ever since I've been seen with you, all these girls keep trying to talk to you. You're mine." She grumbled, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulling him into her chest. Jaewon sighed blissfully, he felt like he was in pure heaven right now.

She noticed a change in his appearance too. He changed his hairstyle a little bit. He started to wear short sleeves more. He was becoming more confident around her...and it scared her a little because with good looks and confidence, comes girls.

Jaewon was about to respond to what she said but a random female came up to him. He ignored her and continued to eat but Nia didn't, she mugged the girl as she sat directly in Jaewon's lap, slightly catching him off guard but went with it anyway and wrapped his arms around her waist as he continued to eat his food.

"Hey Jaewon, you busy today?" The girl asked, tilting her head at the handsome senior. He gave her a blank face and nodded his head, tightening his grip on Nia's waist.

Nia didn't say anything, she took off her earrings, then her necklace, then her jordans, then she tied her hair up in a lie pony tail. Jaewon widened his eyes and held onto her harder, already knowing what she was about to do.

"Bitch you better be glad he holding me down. Disrespectful hoe, you gone try to talk to him when you see me sitting in his lap? Get the fuck away from us before I fuck yo ass up." Nia growled. The girl rolled her eyes and walked away, mumbling whatever under her breathe. After the girl was far enough away she sighed and slumped in his lap.

"Nia I would never let a female get in between us. You can trust me," He reassured, resting his head on her shoulder, giving it a shirt kiss.

From around them, people were whispering and pointing but they paid no mind. The continued to be in their own world.

{Time skip after school cus i'm lazy}

"Where we going?" Nia asked as the two headed to Jaewon's car right after school. He gave her a smile and shook his head.

"It's a surprise."

Almost an four hours later, when Jae said their date was a surprise, Nia wasn't expecting them to be pulling into an abandoned house covered in graffiti. She didn't know where they were until realization struck her.

"Oh hell no I know damn well you didn't take me to the Yeongdeok Ghost House!" Nia exclaimed in horror.

"W-well yeah. I thought it'd be a cool first date." He spoke, suddenly becoming shy again. Nia sighed as she tried to sympathize with him.

"Can we get food after?" She asked, Jaewon smiled and nodded his head as they walked towards the entrance.

[pernicious-pastas]

Villain, Chapter Two

Pairings - Masky/Tim x You

Word count - 1260 words

Chapter Summary - Tim, Brian, and Y/n walk through the forest to get back to their shared cabin used after missions. Y/n and Brian chit-chat before a more serious conversation after a few rounds of adult juice. (Alternate Title: Was Tim listening to the convo in the woods?)

Warnings for chapter - Language, drinking, mutual conflict between Tim and y/n.

Notes - Pastas mentioned are Toby, Sally, clockwork (Natalie), and Jaime! Jaime is an oc of mine which you can look at here: XXX. Please note the y/n is over 21 and can legally drink. Also i’m working on starting an AO3, so look out for that linked in the next chapter :D

Previous Chapter: XXX

___

Calling the walk back through the woods a “terrible fucking idea” would be an understatement. Never understanding why those two hard-asses didn’t just steal a car or two will always be in the forefront of your mind when finishing a mission. But hey, at least you had Brian to keep you occupied during your walks.

“Can’t we just make a portal to the cabin and call it a day?” You groaned, shuddering against the freezing wind that danced around you. Brian’s footsteps walked next to yours in the almost frozen ground around you. “Unfortunately for us, we lost the ability to make portals when Jeffery started making portals from his bedroom to the communal kitchen,” he said, his voice was gruff and clear when not muffed by his voice changer. You chuckled a bit before your expression soured, remembering what Jeff’s actions cost your tiring legs. Brian noticed your slight change in demeanor and decided to change the topic to distract your mind. “Hey, I’m sure we’re close. And I've been meaning to talk to you about something, Well two things.”

Your face puzzled before you gave him a reassuring look, letting him go on. He turned back to look at Tim to gauge if he'd be able to hear the conversation in question, after a few seconds Brian turned to you again, lowering his voice. “Do you ever wish you never accepted Slender’s offer? Like, do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if you said no, or if you never got wrapped up in this in the first place?” You paused and thought for a second before giving him your answer, you never really thought about that before.

“Honestly? I’d probably still be stuck in my hometown. I think I’m glad I took this job in a way. Although the cons definitely outweigh the pros most of the time.” You chuckled, thinking back on your home life before stopping yourself, knowing the pain it would bring you.  Your life before becoming a proxy wasn’t all that glamorous, but thinking about the people you left behind and what you could've been always left an indecent taste in your mouth.

 “Cons?” Brian quizzed, hoping for an elaboration. You sighed and watched the breath turn into fog in front of you. “Well y’know, if I knew I would have interacted with some unsavory people I don’t think I’d take the job.” You joked. Hopefully, Tim didn’t hear that. You sunk into your jacket, hoping to bring a little more warmth to you. “Speaking about a certain unsavory coworker of ours,” You turned to peak at Tim for a final time before continuing. It looks like he wasn’t paying attention and was too far behind to even hear anyway, so you let yourself go on. “Has Tim always been this mean to previous co-workers? Like, that Toby guy that’s been on that year’s long mission, was Tim a dick to him?” You sighed, you didn’t know why this bothered you, But the tension continues to fuck with you nonetheless. 

Brian stops for a quick rest, and you follow suit. “I guess he's always been kinda brash to people he doesn’t know, but never this bad and for this long.” He said. Your thoughts filled up the silence that had settled between you two. You’ve been here for, what? Almost three years and Tim still couldn’t get a grasp on the fact that he had to work with you. You huffed in annoyance. Brian watched you and decided to speak up again. “Why does it even bother you if you hate him the exact same?” You spit on the forest ground and glared at Tim, even though he probably couldn’t hear a damn thing you said. “It doesn’t.”

*time skip to the later in the cabin*

“Brian… We’re friends, right?” You asked, a drunken tint flushed your cheeks as you spoke. The scenery was nice, two pals sharing drinks around a lit fire. The sun was long gone by now, the fire contrasted the harsh night air as it enveloped you in warmth- Something you could get behind in your hazy state.

He thought for a moment before taking a swig from his bottle and turning to face you. “I’d think so, We’d practically have to be if we’re working in this type of occupation. The more people to keep you sane, the better.” You nodded your head while he continued. “This kinda loops back to what I wanted to talk to you about a couple of hours ago. Well, before we started talking about Tim.” He said, you thought back about your previous conversations and eventually pinpointed it to the walk in the woods. “About our pasts and junk?” You asked. He kicked off the dirt from his boot into the blasting fire. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually, I’ve been so focused on being the Always-in-Line, harsh, perfect proxy that I’ve almost forgotten myself.” You slowly nodded your head. Hey, you kind of felt the same in a sense. You cringed thinking back to your previous memories.

“I don’t know Brian, the Boss always enforces that we push away the past and focus on our new responsibility at hand,” You paused. “Still, I get it. The tapes bothering you again?” He nodded before you heard a loud whack of a door slamming into the cabin’s exterior walls. You slowly shifted your eyes to the cause of the noise, and they settled on Tim. You shifted in your chair in fake-annoyance. Too drunk to care if he was with you two or not. “The past is the past, Hoodie. Get over it.” Tim scowled at the two of you before lighting a cigarette.  Tim walked over to the burning fire and crouched, He sucked in while he studied the flames, His eyes almost matched the fires bellowing rage before he closes them, blowing out his smoke into the already roaring fire. What a fucking weirdo, you thought. 

“Evening, Masky.” Brian said. his boot still on the fireplace’s edge, almost directly across Tim’s face. Tim got up and took another drag and turned to you. “Now I’ve been wondering Y/n, how far you would go with a little booze in you.” Tim condescended, a smirk on his face and he eyed you. You rolled your eyes and got up, “Enough of the bullshit, Tim. You wanna be an asshole? Fine by me. I’m done with whatever game you’ve been trying to make me play.” You stormed into the house, your outburst leaving both the men in silence. 

As you less-than-gracefully wobbled to your dark room. You undressed and changed into comfy clothing before retreating under your covers. Memories hung up on the walls around you. Pictures of you and your killer friends smiled down at you, the handmade bracelets Sally had gifted you sat on your nightstand. Dirty band tees Natalie and Jaime had once fondly given you on your previous birthday laid on the floor, ready to be washed and worn again. Small trinkets of your favorite interests decorated the room. Traces of you and your life swirled around your cold room, you thought about the previous conversation you had with Brian. Maybe it was the booze, or maybe Tim decided to finally crank up the heat, but you felt warm inside when thought about the people you met through this hellish job. Forgetting about all the anger you have for certain coworkers of yours, you sunk further into bed.

You grinned to yourself in the dark and shut your eyes, ready for bed. “I’d never regret accepting Slender’s offer.” You whispered slowly, letting yourself succumb to the night’s rest that eagerly awaited you.

___

likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated !! feedback through the ask box welcomed (won’t give out future chapter info though hehe)

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.16}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.3k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

"May I ask you something you might find rather odd?"

"Don't you always?" Robin chuckled softly. "You can ask and say anything at all, you know that. Odd isn't a thing between us anymore."

"Why does your hair smell so insufferably much like pineapple? You don't even like pineapples."

For a broken second, Robin was so surprised by the indeed quite unexpected question that she didn't react at all, then however she had to snort and finally just started laughing. Gods, what a question… whether he had meant to take the edge off the situation or not, his inquiry certainly had done just that. In a sudden mutual agreement that it might be better to let go of each other –better for whom, one might ask– they both removed their tight hold from the other and Robin took a tiny step backwards. Not enough to call it an appropriate distance, really, but enough to look at each other's faces again.

"I, uh…" She started, once she had more or less stopped laughing, and finally folded the letter and the permit back into the envelope. "I haven't really had the money to buy new shampoo after I'd run out, so I first borrowed from Jorien for half a month, and now ever since the beginning of October I've been borrowing from Cas, who unfortunately loves pineapples. That's why I smell like one currently."

"I see… Curious how I haven't noticed it before."

"Well, we don't really… get that close to each other so often." Robin shrugged, trying to suppress the sad subtones that wanted to sneak into the statement, and instead acted over it by removing her wand from the tousled damp mess on her head, now that she remembered that her hair still would have to dry at some point indeed. "And I literally just took a shower before coming here, so that should make the smell even more prominent as well. Sorry…"

"Not for that. But say, do I even want to know why you decided to take a shower in the middle of the night? On your birthday?"

"Cas smeared some sticky goo onto my face and it was really itchy and got stuck in my hair…" She rolled her eyes at the memory, and upon his questioning and slightly horrified expression, she snorted but went to explain. "It was just some kind of face mask, nothing gross! Well, actually, it was pretty vile, all pink and smelling horribly sweet, even worse than the pineapple!"

"Sounds like your evening with your roommates went exactly as expected."

"Well, part of it at least. At first we had tea and cake, which I very much enjoyed actually. They told me about the incident in class as well, even though they thought it was hilarious rather than annoying. But then I became subject to their idea of a girls' night, and that meant sticky goo and painted nails." Robin held up her hands with a humoured sigh to demonstrate Jorien's work. It actually looked quite good, or at least it had, before Robin had already chipped one nail in the shower. She couldn't bring herself to care enough to fix it though. "Then they tried to get me to talk about boys, which was the point where I shut down."

"I can imagine."

"They got me a lovely gift though; a framed photograph of the entire group. The girls and I, and Simon, Gideon and Michael. All sitting together in the great hall." Robin smiled, still very much happy about the picture. "There's so few photos of me and the people I care about. Honestly, I only have the conference photos from last year and the year prior, and either has about fifty strangers in it, but only one has you."

"Good. I doubt that I'm particularly photogenic."

"Neither am I, but I like looking at the picture nonetheless."

"You always were the most photogenic person in the entire newspaper. All three years of conferences."

"Thanks." Robin laughed, once again quite glad that it was too dark for him to really see her blushing. "Remind me to show you the horrible pictures of me as a toddler some time… You'll change your mind about me being photogenic then."

"Don't bet on it."

"Alright, I won't." Her smile turned warmer, less amused and more heartfelt. "But I'm still happy to have one more picture of the people I care about now."

"You should be. It is a nice gift indeed. An actual gift."

"Oh will you stop it now!" Robin rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, then couldn't help smiling up at him nonetheless. "I think your gift IS an actual gift! A perfect one! But if you just keep refusing to believe it, might I make a suggestion?"

"Don't you always?" He raised an eyebrow as he quoted her own words back to her with a not-smirk. "Go ahead."

"Go to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday. I know you're not overly fond of being there while the students are roaming around, but you could consider it a gift to me, if the incredible one you've already given me just won't count for you. Which I still don't understand, by the way." She suggested, then went on with a small smirk. "I'm sure I can sell some stuff to the guy in that ingredients shop you sent me to forever ago."

"I will have to see it to believe it. Saturday it is." He replied and the corners of his lips quirked up more and more. "The man you're speaking of is a sleazy individual, ripping people off wherever he can, and getting him to pay a decent price will be practically impossible. But I will enjoy seeing you try."

"I can get him to pay any price you name." Robin teased with a nonchalant shrug. "I don't know what prices to set anyway, nor what the different objects are worth in theory. Just give me a number I can tell him, and you'll see me getting him to pay it."

"I sincerely doubt that."

"Wanna bet?" She quirked an eyebrow at him, smirking openly with just a tad of mischief in her tone. There was no way she would lose this, she was certain of that. "If you deem me so unconvincing, you should have nothing to lose."

"If you insist. What stakes shall we set?"

"Loser buys the winner a drink afterwards, how about that? We should both be able to afford that much at that point."

"Agreed. It should make for an interesting Saturday either way." Snape seemed to be entirely amused by the idea at this point, and Robin wondered if he was actually serious about doubting her in the first place. He did know better than to question her abilities, especially those she actually believed in herself, and somehow she had the feeling that agreeing to this bet was his way of encouraging her to do her best on Saturday. But he might also just be wanting to buy her a drink. The thought made Robin grin even more, and she decided that she was fine with either version.

"I hope I'll make it to Saturday in the first place…" She said then, remembering that it was only Friday now, roughly around two in the morning. "The girls have made some plans for my birthday, but after this evening, I'm not sure if I will survive any more of their ideas."

"To your luck, they will be busy with classes for most of the day, much like myself unfortunately. Are you going to be assisting Pomona with the second years again?"

"Yeah, it's the only thing I have to do. It's fun, actually, when the students aren't being idiots. Gonna be an easy day."

"Perhaps you should go to bed now nonetheless. As much as I would like to sit down now and keep you here until morning, you certainly would be better off with some sleep before your roommates drag you into whatever schemes they have set up for the morning."

"Yeah… I should go." Robin sighed, and this time she didn't even bother trying to hide her sadness about the fact. "Don't forget about the salt thing though, yes? And please tell McGonagall; even if just for the sake of helping me keep my promise."

"I will." He replied as he followed Robin to the door, keeping his eyes on her as she stepped out into the hallway. "If your roommates haven't already claimed every single minute of your day by then, perhaps we could take a walk in the afternoon."

"I would like that very much." Robin smiled up at him too happily, in too much excitement, but she couldn't bring herself to care. He already knew that she loved spending time with him; he just didn't know all of the reasons. "But for now, goodnight."

"Get out of my sight already."

"As you wish." She grinned at his feigned annoyance and not-smirk, then made her way down the hallway and back towards her room, clutching her wand in one hand and the letter in the other. Surprisingly enough, this had been a great start to her birthday after all.

When she lay in bed a little while later, she could still feel the shadow of his touch along her spine, the brush of his fingertips on her sides, and it took her a while to fall asleep like that, when part of her mind wouldn't shut up and instead kept on wondering what it would've felt like without all the fabric in between his skin and her own.

… … …

Morning, as always, came way too soon, and Robin was woken up by two overly excited girls who then proceeded to dictate her every move. Luckily she could talk them out of painting her face this year, but they still put up her hair into an intricate braid before they finally made their way to breakfast while playing some kind of game Robin never quite understood the rules to in the first place. When they arrived in the great hall, they still were terribly early for once, as they sat down at the Ravenclaw table with the boys, who each proceeded to congratulate Robin as well, and she in return thanked them all, especially Simon for the idea with the picture.

Once the hall had filled up with students and staff alike –Robin took careful notice of the fact that McGonagall was once again sitting next to Snape, chatting away amicably while the latter looked indifferent as always– the beginning of the meal was announced, and the foods and drinks were sent up from the kitchens. The moment everyone had been waiting for had finally arrived, and when Robin looked around, she saw more excited faces than she dared to count. Obviously the news about the prank had made their rounds among the student body, and spread even beyond the Ravenclaw table. In the careful attempt not to be entirely obvious about it, Robin then observed Snape and McGonagall. Both of them went with coffee this morning, and if she wasn't mistaken, they both focused on their mugs a little too long before moving to drink at last. Neither of them pulled a face, nor did McGonagall falter in her one sided chat with the bored man next to her, which relieved Robin quite a bit. Once she looked over at Jorien, the girl mouthed a quiet 'thank you', to which Robin answered with a single subtle nod. Then both their attention was drawn back to the head table, when a happy coincidence decided that it should be Morgan who first made a show of spitting out his salted coffee in an indignant spout. A wave of giggles ran through the student body, and while more professors followed Morgan's example mere seconds later, the giggles turned into straight out laughter. McGonagall made an attempt to hide the fact that she had known in advance, going neatly along with the other professors' surprise and outrage, while Snape however merely let his eyes travel over the students in a menacing glare. When his eyes caught Robin's, however, his face brightened up ever so slightly with a not-smirk for a moment, then he continued his cold inspection of the tables and Robin turned back to her breakfast. Perhaps seeing Morgan spitting out his coffee had made her morning a little better after all, and knowing that Snape had succeeded to get McGonagall, out of all people, to play along with this scheme definitely made her both happy and proud.

The day then continued on quite as good as it had started. During the herbology class she helped with, Sprout not only congratulated her right away, but also gifted her a beautiful scalpel-like knife that was small in size, but sharper than Robin thought possible. The gesture honestly surprised her, but the herbology professor insisted that she couldn't continue watching Robin use that old rusty thing she had been using for both her in- and out-of-class work for the last two years. A little overwhelmed but very much grateful, Robin finally accepted the highly useful gift, and stored it in her pocket for now, just before first students filed into the greenhouse.

The next surprise came during lunch, when Robin found yet another wrapped gift waiting for her in her spot at the Ravenclaw table, where her small group of appreciated people was already awaiting her arrival. Upon Robin's inquiry about the package, they all shrugged and said it had just suddenly been there some time after they'd sat down. Her name was written on a piece of paper that was tugged into the wrapping, but she didn't quite recognise the handwriting. Odd… why were so many people giving her gifts for her birthday, all of a sudden? She appreciated it, of course, but it made her wonder nonetheless. Then, encouraged by her overly curious friends, Robin finally unwrapped the gift, only to reveal a small and desperately old looking book. 'The Unforgivable Curses: A detailed study'... The title alone made the hairs in Robin's neck stand up, while the small group of people around here was simply confused. Of course they understood the title, but they were just as clueless about who would give such a book to Robin as she herself was. There was no note, no letter, nothing but the slip of paper with her name on it, which she tugged in between the pages after briefly flipping through them in search for any more pleasant or unpleasant surprises. But it was just a book, a quite rare one if Robin wasn't entirely mistaken, and certainly not of the kind you would find in a school library. If anyone saw her with this, especially one of the professors, they might just think she was up to no good; thus Robin stored it away in her backpack, making sure to inspect it more thoroughly later today. Preferably together with Snape, he knew way more about these things than anyone else, and he appreciated a good mystery quite as much as she did.

After lunch, when Robin was just about to head to her room to pass the time and perhaps change into something warmer before Snape would be done with his classes for the day, she found herself stopped in her path, surprised yet again by something she hadn't quite expected. This time it was McGonagall who, after a quick glance down the hallway, first congratulated Robin, and then also thanked her for the indirect warning this morning. What surprised Robin however was when the professor took her hand, placed a small and surprisingly cold object in it, and then closed her fingers around it even before Robin could see what it was.

"You did not receive this from me, do you understand?" She asked with an intent look at Robin, who in return merely had the time to nod before the professor turned on her heels and was off down the hallway a second later.

Confused, Robin opened her hand again and her eyes fell onto a key that was now resting in her palm, heavy and cold and no less ancient than the book she had already received an hour earlier. What on earth was going on here that she was missing? What was this key for, in a school that –as far as Robin knew– locked all doors with magic anyway? And why was McGonagall so keen on keeping it a secret? Robin couldn't answer either question, but she hid the key in her locket anyway, to keep it safe until she knew what she was to do with it. Then she finally made for her room, with the intention to get some long overdue rest at last.

… … …

Shortly before four in the afternoon, Robin quietly let herself into Snape's office during the last minutes of the class he was teaching next door. She had indeed changed into something warm enough to be comfortable outside (for once!), and then thought it a nice idea to pick him up here to go for her promised walk. That at least would give them a good two hours before dinner, and thus enough time to actually get away from the castle for a little while. Content with her plan, Robin took her perch on the edge of the desk, not bothering to sit down properly for the little time she planned to stay here. It wasn't long indeed before the door between office and classroom flew open, and a very much annoyed Snape stormed into the room, throwing the door shut behind himself again without looking back. Still it took a few seconds for his eyes to find Robin's, but then he stopped in his track while the tension remained written all over his features.

"Don't." Was all he said in a deep and warning tone, and Robin knew very well what he meant, but she just couldn't help it. She had to smile, brightly and without any attempt to hide it, and he rolled his eyes in return, the tension fleeting, while he tried not to smile in return. "You are insufferable. Just let me be angry in peace."

"I'd rather not. Because I can't be happy when you're upset, so logically I will have to see to it that you're happy. For my own sake." She shrugged easily, and her eyes followed him as he moved to drop a stack of notebooks next to her on the desk. "And I'm here to claim what's been promised to me. Before you can find a way to get out of it."

"Whyever would I want to? Wasn't it I who asked for a moment of your precious time in the first place?" He raised his eyebrows at her for a second, then grabbed his warmer robes from the back of his chair. "I would hardly want to miss the narrow time frame I was given to spend with you."

"Oh come on, I'm not that busy! You're the one who had to teach all day… I've just been in my room ever since lunch."

"Napping, as it seems." He quipped, finally unable to keep the not-smirk off his face, and Robin felt called out immediately.

"How the hell do you know that again?"

"Your hair tells me all about it. Admittedly, the difference from lunch to now is very subtle, especially with the braid, but I know what you look like when you wake up. I've seen it before."

The blush that rose to Robin's face immediately was accompanied by a wave of tingles that were equally a result of his words and her own imagination. Yes, they had woken up in the same room before. But not together, in the way she would've liked. Not the time to think about that now.

"Well, you caught me." Robin finally replied, forcing away the previous string of thoughts. "I was napping because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I'm fine with little sleep, generally, but less than two hours isn't enough even for me. With the two herbology classes of the first and second years this morning, on top of two meals with the girls, I honestly just needed some rest."

"What kept you from getting a good night's sleep in the first place?" He asked in return, as they left the office and started making their way outside, unseen as always, through the many rooms and passages Robin found herself actually able to remember at this point. She had no idea how Snape even knew about all these shortcuts and secret paths in the castle, but she was glad to have learned about them too. Wandering around unseen was a lot easier like this.

"Oh, you know… just too many thoughts spinning in my mind." She shrugged, careful not to let slip that it had been thoughts about him that had kept her awake. Thoughts about them, together.

"I understand. Your visit also left me thinking for quite a while." He said, as they arrived at the foot of the hill, under the open grey sky at last. "I have come to the conclusion, for example, that you were right. My gift to you may be considered a gift indeed."

"Where did that change of mind come from?"

"I couldn't find an argument against yours. Giving someone a gift is an act of caring, and as you rightly so pointed out, caring extends way beyond the material. Thus a gift should be judged by the amount of care put into it, not its material worth."

"That's pretty much what I was trying to say last night, yes." Robin smiled up at him, doing her best not to trip over anything while they made their way towards their by now common favorite place outside the castle. The shoreline of the lake. "I received three more gifts today, even though I'm not so sure if the latter two go by our definition of 'gift' in that sense. The care as well as the message behind them are kinda, well, untranslatable to me. Anyway, I've been dying to tell you about it all day."

"I'm listening. And intrigued, seeing as once again you just have to build up suspense."

"Well, first there was Sprout." Robin started, in ignorance of his second comment, and pulled the delicately ornamented knife out of her robes, showing it to Snape with a smile. "I was quite surprised that she got me a gift at all, to be honest. We've gotten a bit closer through my assistance in her classes, but I didn't think she liked me enough to even remember my birthday, leave alone to get me anything."

"She gushes about you all the time actually, in the staff room, or during meals… It seems to be one of her favourite pastimes to tell everyone, especially me, about your brilliant work." Snape replied, then handed the knife back to Robin who slipped it back into her pocket. "I'm not surprised that she would give you a present such as this; she holds you in a higher regard than she does with most of her colleagues."

"I certainly appreciate it. The gift, and that she's obviously quite fond of me too. Especially since the other two items that were given to me today are way more confusing in their nature and their circumstances."

"I know you received a book during lunch. What was that about?"

"I haven't got even the slightest idea. Nobody knows who it's from or why it was given to me, and I was hoping you could help me solve this mystery." She said, and summoned the object in discussion from her bag, once again handing it to Snape. "There's a piece of paper inside with my name on it, perhaps the handwriting will tell you more."

He stopped walking once his eyes fell onto the title of the book, and he inspected it for a moment longer until he looked up at Robin once again, in sincere surprise. "I have heard of this book, but admittedly I believed it to be nothing more than a myth. It still might be a mere joke; we will have to find out about that."

"What's special about it? It probably contains a bit more information than we are taught here at school, but that can't be it, right?"

"Supposedly, it contains methods to resist all three of the unforgivable curses. I highly doubt that rumour however, for obvious reasons."

"Obvious to you, perhaps. Enlighten me."

"If there was a way you could cheat a curse that was banned by the ministry, wouldn't they have an interest in making that knowledge known and thereby eradicate the usefulness of such curses in the first place?"

"That definitely makes sense. But perhaps they also believe the book and thus the methods to be nothing more than a myth? Either way, I have this book now, and I have no idea who gave it to me."

"I could give you an answer to that even without looking at the handwriting." Snape scoffed, but opened the book and inspected the snippet of paper nonetheless. "Quite obviously, Professor Dumbledore has an interest in it that you become better acquainted with these curses. I don't have to tell you that this isn't a good sign."

"No…" Robin breathed in return, and if she was honest with herself, she could also have guessed by herself that it was the headmaster who had given the book to her. "If Dumbledore wants me to read this, I bloody better should. No matter what his intention behind it is."

"Indeed. I would ask him about it, but he hasn't been letting me in on anything of importance for a while now, and I doubt that he would give me an honest answer even if I tried. We are better off drawing our own conclusions from now on. May I read the book, once you have?"

"Obviously! It's really not much of a gift and more of a homework assignment the headmaster expects us both to do."

"An oddly fitting way to describe it. Tell me, if that was the second 'gift', what is the third?"

"Something I understand even less." She sighed, then fiddled the key out of her locket to hand it over too. "This was given to me without a comment, without context, and with the instruction to not reveal who gave it to me."

"That certainly-..."

"It was McGonagall." Robin shrugged with one shoulder, giving him a small smile which only widened as his brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not keeping secrets from you, and she certainly knows that. But I have every intention to keep her involvement a secret from absolutely everyone else."

"If she was concerned about keeping it a secret in the first place, it likely means that Dumbledore doesn't know. This in return means that whatever his reason might be for not wanting you to have the key, it isn't to your advantage. But the key likely is."

"Why do you think so?"

"Dumbledore has long lost his conscience between the bigger picture and his own ambitions, but Minerva will do what she can to protect the innocent from any misfortune. And if said misfortune was caused or tolerated by the headmaster, I believe she will go against his wishes to act on her own conscience instead. Put differently, Dumbledore's concern lies with the school, and its place in the grand scheme of things. Minerva's concern lies with the learning and wellbeing of both students and staff."

"But… that would mean that Dumbledore is willingly letting something bad happen to me. And McGonagall is trying to protect me from it, even though Dumbledore doesn't want her to."

"So far my theory at least, but I have no proof of it other than both our past experiences. It certainly would make sense in the context of both her own words after the incident with Morgan on the first night of term, and also the fact that Dumbledore gave you the book now."

"Oh great…" Robin groaned under her breath and let herself fall back against the tree behind her. "What have I done that makes me everyone's favourite victim? First Morgan, now Dumbledore, and well… There's literally an entire school full of people to pick on! Why do they keep choosing me?"

"I have another question for you. Why does Minerva believe that an old key will help you against either of them?"

"Yes. Great! Thank you for making matters even more complicated." She rolled her eyes with a huff, but felt bad for it immediately. Time to be better than her emotions. "Sorry… that was really unfair. None of this is your fault."

"It's quite alright." He replied calmly and took the remaining two steps to stand in front of Robin, handing her the book and the key. "I can't say I'm not equally concerned about these developments."

"I just can't get rid of the feeling that it all comes down to Morgan somehow. If McGonagall is the proof of a connecting point, back on the day of the welcoming feast and today, it means that Dumbledore sees Morgan as he is, as a threat, but doesn't want to do anything about it. Not because he doesn't care about Morgan's actions, but because he has some grand scheme in mind where Morgan is a chess piece of yet unknown importance and I'm just a casualty he's willing to sacrifice for whatever greater cause. And McGonagall doesn't want that to happen, but she also can't tell me about it because he doesn't want her to. Does that even make any sense? This is a school and not some bloody thriller!" She scoffed as she returned the book to her bag and the key to her locket, then however didn't lean back against the tree. There was too much tension in her body, too much anxiety in her mind, and thus she simply looked up at Snape with an almost sad expression. "Honestly, what am I missing here? I just… I don't understand what's going on anymore."

"Right now, all that matters is that you are out here, with me. You are supposed to have an enjoyable birthday and not a mental breakdown over people who definitely do not deserve it." He said while lightly tracing the outside of her hand with one finger, and when the gesture made Robin smile instinctively, he took her hand entirely and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We will find answers to all the questions, given the right time and opportunity. You and me together, like always. Yes?"

"Yes." Robin sighed, and her smile broadened into a real one that captured the rest of her face as well. "Let's walk on then, shall we? You could tell me what the fifth years did that was so terribly annoying during your last class."

"The better question would be what they didn't do to annoy me. I cannot believe I have to get those dunderheads through their OWLs at the end of the year." He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, and slowly let go of Robin's hand as they sauntered on, along the shoreline. Oh well… Robin was happy about the gesture nonetheless; as small and fleeting as it had been, it had been initiated entirely by him for once.

"You better start telling me then." She suggested, quirking an eyebrow at him with a smile. "If it's such a long list. What did they do wrong this time?"

"Would you like me to answer chronologically or alphabetically?"

_____________________________

Tags:

@ayamenimthiriel @chibi-lioness @t-sunnyside @alex4555 @purpledragonturtles @istrugglewithphilosophy @meghan-maria @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall @darkestacademiaaa @nizem8

General Tags:

@wegingerangelica @dreary-skies-stuff @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @createdfromblue @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929 @iamverity @lovesmesomehiddles @akk4rin @whitewolfandthefox @stuckupstucky @kassablanca13 @delightfulheartdream @hayalee8 @lemonmochitea

[ukulelecal]

Bloom - Part Three

The story of flowers.

Pairing: Poet!Luke Hemmings x Female!OC

Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking, anxiety, bit of angst, fluff as well

Word Count: 7.9k

A/N: the finale!! i really really loved writing this and i hope you all enjoyed reading it. if yall are interested i would love to write more about luke and devon in the future!! anyways. like always, i ask you to remember how important reblogs and feedback are, and i hope you love it!!!

series masterlist

my masterlist // posted on ao3

Moving back in with Luke was as painless as moving could be.

It was much easier than when Devon left in the first place. She didn’t have help then, and there was the anxiety about moving to a whole new place and starting grad school all while going through a breakup. This time, Luke was there, and she was going to a place she knew and loved.

Within a week, Devon was packed up and ready to go again, after a quick pause for the official release of Luke’s book, a cause for celebration. All her belongings were taken by the movers and her and Luke flew back home without a hitch. Ashton was still in the process of packing up his own belongings and assured the couple that he would be out within a few days, cracking a joke about making sure to keep the noise down until he was gone. Devon and Luke sped up the process by helping him pack and transfer everything over to Calum and Michael’s flat.

Finally, they were alone. And thank God for that.

“Is it weird being back?” Luke asked over breakfast the first morning that it was just the two of them. Devon shrugged.

“I thought it would be, but it’s really not. Feels natural,” she explained. Luke smiled in satisfaction, feet rubbing against each other under the table.

He was so glad to have her back. As much as he liked living with Ashton, he needed his girl back. He needed to wake up next to her, share good morning kisses and cuddles until daily duties finally pulled them out of bed. Ashton didn’t make nearly as good of a dance partner while making dinner and definitely never gave Luke a good night kiss.

Now that Devon was back, they could go back to all their normals from before. Luke could lay his head in her lap while she read a book and he wrote. At least, he would try to. The feeling of Devon gently scratching his scalp always distracted him and made him sleepy.

Devon, ever the early riser, could sneak out of bed in the mornings to make a run to the local cafe down the street from their apartment complex for coffee and pastries and be back before Luke ever noticed she was gone. She’d always climb back into bed with him for a bit if she didn’t have anywhere to be, knowing he hated to wake up without her there.

Things had finally fallen into place.

With breakfast finished and cleaned up, Luke and Devon got themselves ready for the day before meeting in the living room.

“What now?” Luke asked, throwing his arms out. “We have the whole rest of summer until you start school again. What do you want to do?”

“Not to be boring, but first things first, I want to see if I can get my old job back,” she chuckled, causing Luke to roll his eyes playfully, though he understood. Rent and loans wouldn’t pay themselves. “But, I haven’t been here in a year. I want to do it all.”

Luke smiled, stepping towards and snatching up his car keys.

“Let’s go, then. Summer won’t last forever.”

Back in Bertha, Luke drove Devon to the office building where she used to work as a receptionist. She hated it, if she was honest with herself; the people there were stuffy and boring, but the job paid well, and that’s all she needed until she finished grad school and got a permanent job. A quick conversation with her old boss had her rehired, the woman expressing how Devon was always the most organized receptionist they ever had, before she made her way back to Luke.

“I am officially a receptionist again starting Monday,” she announced with fake enthusiasm as she shut the car door behind her. “Anyways, I’m thinking a walk in the park and then the panini place a few blocks down for lunch, if that’s okay with you.”

Luke didn’t answer. Devon looked up from clicking her seatbelt into place to find him staring at her with an adoring grin, eyes twinkling with love.

“What?” She mumbled sheepishly, heat rising to her cheeks.

“I’m so glad I’ve got you back, honey. I love you so much.”

Devon barely had the chance to return the sentiment before Luke was leaning over the center console, beard tickling her as he pressed a needed kiss to her lips. He reached over to give her knee a squeeze before throwing the car into reverse.

“Off to the park!”

The walk was relaxing. Luke and Devon both found solace in nature, absorbing up the sunshine and fresh air. Devon realized she needed an updated picture of him in all his beard and glasses glory for her lockscreen. She picked a few daisies from the ground and tucked them behind his ear, using her free hand to cup the side of his face opposite from the flowers and took the picture. It was adorable; his eyes squinted from the sun and his grin was full of joy. She loved it, wasting no time in setting it as her lockscreen. He teased her about it, but a picture of her laughing across the table from him at the restaurant quickly became his new lockscreen.

It was an amazing day. The best day either of them had had in a while, right up there with Luke’s book release. They drifted off to sleep that night with smiles on their faces, ever so content and ever so in love.

One evening some weeks later, Luke hopped in the shower while Devon wandered around the bedroom until he was done so they could watch a movie. She stopped in front of the small book shelf in the corner, eyes landing on The Life of a Flower. She picked up the book, fingertips trailing over the familiar orchids on the cover.

She had read it all the way through a few times, and it didn’t take long to realize that the entire book was about her. The very first poem in it was The Orchids, the first poem Luke had written for her. It started off happy, all poems about their loving relationship, but they slowly got more tragic as the book went on, poems about their breakup. Many of the poems had flower themes, including the flower referenced in the title of the book being a symbol of their relationship and it’s journey.

The final poem was called Sunshine Can’t Save Me Now. It was about a broken man - Luke, surely - trying to save a flower that was already dead - his and Devon’s relationship. He explained that he was at a very low point when he wrote it, admitting that he didn’t have much hope at the time. It was the right way to end the book, considering the state of Luke’s life when it was finished.

It took Luke a half hour to calm Devon down when she finished the book for the first time. She couldn’t stop sobbing as he held her, assuring her that everything was okay now. Her tears were caused by a mixture of resurfaced painful memories and the pure heartbreaking beauty of Luke’s poetry.

She let out a deep sigh. Just thinking about it made her want to cry. The poems really revealed how Luke was feeling about the breakup. He opened up to her about going through a bit of a rough patch, but his poetry said far more than what he ever said to her out loud. She only wished things could have been different; maybe the book would have had a happy ending.

“You ready, babe?”

Devon’s head snapped up at Luke’s voice, seeing him step into the bedroom with wet curls and only a pair of joggers on his legs. She quickly put the book on the shelf and grinned at him.

“Yep, I’m ready.”

She walked towards him, expecting him to turn and go into the living room, but his large hands rested on her forearms, stopping her.

“You okay?” He asked with concern. He didn’t miss the frown on her face when he first walked into the room.

“I’m alright, bubs. Come on,” she insisted, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the living room.

“You sure?” He coaxed as they sat down on the couch together. She looked up at him with a smile and nodded. He searched her face; she really did look alright. He sighed and pressed a prickly kiss to her cheek. “Okay.”

Devon tossed a blanket over the two of them as Luke pulled up the movie. She cuddled into him easily, head resting on his bare shoulder. With an arm wrapped around her shoulders, his fingertips gently danced over her forearm, the touches subtle but meaningful.

They greatly appreciated the quiet moments like this. No expectations, worries, or watching eyes. Just the two of them, flowers in a pot rather than a field.

Devon felt her eyes start to droop, as they did most times when they watched movies at night and she got too comfortable. Luke would tease her relentlessly about not being able to stay awake through an entire movie, but he was more than happy to hold her sleeping figure until the movie ended, then carry her into bed with him.

Halfway through the movie, Luke glanced down to see Devon’s eyes closed, noticing her breath had slowed down. A soft grin spread across his face. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. The weight of school and work weren’t twisting her face. She was at ease, calm.

Luke’s lips ever so softly connected with Devon’s forehead. The tickle of his beard made her stir for a moment, but quickly settled back into his shoulder. He wanted this forever. He wanted Devon to fall asleep on him every night, fall asleep with her in his arms and wake up with her right there next to him. He had known that for a long time, but at the moment, the love he felt for the stunning woman right next to him was overwhelming.

He watched her sleep for another moment before an idea popped into his head.

He quickly paused the movie and gently scooped Devon up into his arms. She cuddled into him, thankfully staying asleep as Luke carried her into the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and pulled the sheets carefully over her. Once he was sure she was still asleep, Luke quickly moved into the spare room and pulled out his most recent notebook.

The words came easily, flowing out onto the paper as water flowed through a stream. The poem was short but heavy, a depiction of white roses to match a white gown. A vow to love forever, through whatever life may throw at them. Through sickness and in health. He let out a deep breath once the final line was written.

Luke would save the poem for later; now wasn’t a good time. But one day, Devon would hear it, and have a brand new ring on her finger to go along with it.

…

The rest of the summer was certainly one to remember.

Devon and Luke were lucky to have similar work schedules. Their days off typically lined up, and even if they couldn’t see each other much during the day, they were always both home to have dinner together.

Luke’s book was doing well in sales and reviews. Readers begged for more, desperate to find some sort of closure on the wilting relationship detailed in the book. They had no idea that things worked out in the end, the flowers revived.

Summer came to a close. Devon’s second and final year of grad school was starting, only two semesters away from her master’s degree. Luke had some promotion opportunities for The Life of a Flower lined up, and was starting to think about a second book.

He was hesitant to quit his job at the bookstore. He didn’t feel like he was established enough in the poetry world to be financially stable without a more steady source of income. If he could just write all day, every day, he would. Until then, he would stay a manager at the quaint store in the city.

“Are you nervous?” Luke whispered to Devon the night before her first day of classes. The couple was cuddled up in bed, Devon’s head on Luke’s chest.

“A bit,” she sighed. “I guess I’m more nervous about what comes after I graduate.”

She figured a master’s degree would open more opportunities, but there was always uncertainty when it came to job hunting. She had time before she needed to start looking, but the thought always made her worry.

“Don’t be nervous, honey. You’re the smartest person I know. I have every faith in you that you’ll be amazing. And remember, I’ll always be here.”

His words brought a smile to her face. He always knew just what to say when she needed comfort.

“I love you,” she whispered as she began to drift off. She heard his return of the sentiment before sleep took over, her final sleep before being thrown into the whirlwind of a final year of grad school.

…

First semester was nothing short of overwhelming.

Devon was swamped with assignments, constantly scrambling to get things done between classes and on her breaks at work. She spent hours at her computer, back aching and eyes burning, pressure heavy on her shoulders.

It took a lot of deep breaths and reevaluation to remind herself that she only needed to get through two semesters, and she would be done. She would have her master’s and grad school would be over. School being done meant a job hunt, but she tried not to think about what came next. She needed to stay focused in the present.

Luke wasn’t around much. He was away a lot doing interviews and signings for his book, taking up extra hours at the bookstore in his free time to save money - for multiple things he had in mind.

When he was home, Luke’s mission was to make sure Devon stayed sane. He could see the stress school was putting on her, and she tended to overwork herself. He had to force her to take breaks, even if it meant physically lifting her from her desk chair and carrying her into the kitchen to eat. She would always give in, but it never lasted long until she scurried back to her studies. Saturday nights, however, were always reserved for date night. No work, no school, no commitments to anything other than each other. It was their favorite night of the week in which they got to relax and let their minds drift from responsibility.

Winter break was like a sigh of relief for the couple. Devon got her first proper night’s sleep in months, putting Luke’s worried self at ease. They divided up the time between Luke’s family and Devon’s family, of course setting some time aside for themselves. It was relaxing, refreshing, and the perfect break before second semester.

Now just a few months away from her master’s degree, Devon had to bring her A-game. She had her thesis paper to worry about, along with the dreaded job search. It was a lot to tackle all at once, but she was prepared for the challenge. She had her eyes on the prize, and all the stress would be worth it in the end when she fulfilled her goal.

Luke still had promotion things to do, but he was starting to focus on writing more. He wanted his second book to have a story like his first one did. He planned on making it a sequel of sorts, a tale of his and Devon’s saved relationship after their breakup period, but not in a way that a reader would have to read The Life of a Flower to understand.

It was only a couple weeks into the second semester that Devon’s workload quickly got massive. Between gradual work on her thesis paper, class assignments and her job, things got difficult pretty quickly. Luke was busy as well, cranking out drafts upon drafts of poems that he wasn’t even happy with. He knew he needed to slow down and focus on quality over quantity, but it was difficult when he knew publishers would want options.

Luke and Devon’s individual stress began to put a stress on their relationship.

There was hardly time for each other. Devon was usually out of bed before Luke in the mornings, and it was a guessing game to see who would retire to bed first at night. No matter who it was, it was always at an hour far too late. It affected Devon especially, who was used to turning in early most nights. There were rarely good night or good morning kisses, and most dinners were whatever was easiest and quickest.

Actual date night got canceled most Saturdays as someone was usually too tired to go out; it had gotten to a point where the closest semblance they had had to a date in weeks was a trip to the grocery store.

All of the tension built up more and more, and eventually it led to the little time they had to spend together being full of petty arguments. It started with Devon snapping at Luke for leaving his pants on the bedroom floor, and it only grew from there. Little things that used to not bother them much caused ridiculous bickering.

It was scaring Devon. Their relationship was starting to feel like the days leading up to their breakup. Tense and bitter. Every little argument with Luke left a foul taste in her mouth, and she didn’t want to let it go on. They promised each other that they were going to make things work, and that meant they needed to sit down and talk like adults.

Devon knocked softly on the spare bedroom door where Luke had shut himself away to work, as usual. She heard a soft “come in” from inside, and gently pushed the door open.

Luke looked up from his notebook, and she quickly noticed the dark circles under his eyes. What pained Devon the most was that they had probably been there the whole time and she had been too frustrated to notice. Not frustrated at him, either; it was school and work, and she was taking it out on him.

“You alright?” He asked, seeing the worried look on her face. She simply sighed and stepped forward, taking his open arms as an invitation to take a seat on his lap.

“Can we talk, bubs?” She whispered. Luke’s hand gently rubbed her thigh as he nodded in agreement. Devon continued. “I’m sorry I’ve been so rude to you lately. It’s not an excuse but school has just been a pain in the ass.”

“It’s okay, honey. I’m sorry too. I think we’ve both just been really on edge lately,” he mumbled, pulling her closer. “We need to find time to unwind.”

Devon hummed in agreement, leaning her head on Luke’s chest. The gentle thump of his heartbeat was comforting as she took in his touch. She couldn’t remember the last time they were so close physically.

“My spring break is coming up next month. Maybe we could go somewhere? Even if it’s just for a few days?”

Luke smiled a bit at the suggestion.

“That sounds nice.”

Perhaps a getaway would do them good. They could leave all work and school behind and just have fun together. The last time they took a trip was spring break junior year of undergrad. They spent most days getting drunk and making out on the beach. They laughed until they forgot what was funny and ate their way through the local restaurants. Maybe they were overdue for a nice vacation.

Devon leaned up to press a kiss to Luke’s scruffy chin.

“Let’s go to bed, bubs.”

The two of them climbed into bed at the same time for the first time in a long time that night. Luke pulled Devon into his arms and they exchanged a good night kiss, thoughts of a vacation lulling them to sleep.

…

Luke and Devon eventually decided on going back to the beach for spring break. They didn’t have much money to go anywhere fancy, and they had a lot of good memories associated with the place. Devon insisted on taking her car for the drive, unsure about Bertha’s ability to make it through the trip, but Luke still insisted on being the driver.

With luggage loaded into the trunk, the couple hit the road.

As passenger, Devon got the aux. She played the road trip playlist that she perfectly crafted for the occasion, and the drive was spent singing along and dancing in their seats.

Devon glanced over at Luke. It was golden hour, a gorgeous glow casting over the gorgeous boy that she was lucky enough to call hers. He looked so happy and in his element. Devon squeezed his hand that was resting in her lap.

“You’re staring,” Luke mumbled without returning her gaze, a small smirk on his face. She giggled.

“Can’t help it. You’re beautiful.”

A blush spread across his cheeks under the orange glow of the setting sun. She squeezed his hand again as a reassurance before turning her eyes back to the road.

Soon enough, Luke pulled into the parking lot of the small hotel they had booked a room at, the same place they stayed at junior year. It wasn’t exactly a five star establishment, but they didn’t expect to be spending much time there anyway.

After loading their small amount of luggage from the trunk, they made their way into the quaint lobby to check in. The walls were covered top to bottom in tacky beach decorations, coastal throw pillows on the white couches. It wasn’t what Devon would call good interior design, but it was fitting for the location and only made her more excited for the trip.

“We’ve got a reservation under Hemmings.”

The man at the front desk handed them their room keys and a pamphlet with some local attractions and restaurant recommendations. They were off to their room afterwards, a small thing but plenty for the two of them.

“Remember the last time we came here?” Devon asked as they got settled in, carrying her toiletries into the bathroom.

“I remember coming, but I can’t say I remember much of the actual vacation.”

Devon laughed at that; they spent a good majority of the trip drunk. She couldn’t say she remembered many specifics either, just some tidbits. Based on the blurry pictures they found in their camera rolls afterwards, they could imagine they had a good time.

Luke pulled on a clean shirt before joining Devon in the bathroom where she was leaning over the shower, setting her shampoo and conditioner on the wire shelf on the wall. She turned around to face him, finding a small smile on his face.

“C’mere, honey,” he hummed with open arms. Devon flushed and melted into him, feeling him press a kiss to the top of her head. “This was a great idea. I love you.”

“I love you too, bubs.” She puckered her lips for a kiss that Luke gladly delivered. “How about we walk around to find a place for dinner?”

Luke agreed and the two were out the door. Hand in hand, they strolled around the small beach town. There wasn’t a chain restaurant in sight; every place was a local business. They didn’t look like much on the outside, but the couple were firm believers that the holes in the wall and the greasy spoons were usually the best places.

A taco restaurant with a calming seafoam green exterior beckoned Devon and Luke inside, sitting down for dinner. The slightly run down building was no comparison to the delicious food.

With full stomachs, the couple made their way to the beach. The spring breaker crowd was thin at the time, most people gone for dinner, but surely it would fill up again later at night for the real fun.

Luke and Devon slowly strolled down the beach, carrying their shoes in their hands that weren’t interlaced together. The sun was barely still peaking out, and a cool breeze began to rip through the air.

“I forgot how pretty it is,” Devon commented as they walked. The setting sun over the ocean was a lovely sight to see. Luke hummed, dropping her hand in favor of wrapping it around her waist.

“I love it,” he mumbled in response. “And I love you, honey.”

Devon turned her head to press a chaste kiss to his shoulder, leaning her cheek on the spot.

“I love you too, Lu.”

They walked until they reached a wooden bench swing. It was a bit creaky but comfortable, Luke using his feet to slowly swing them back and forth.

“I’d like to live here one day,” Devon said dreamily. “On the beach. Maybe after we retire. We’ll be that old couple that sits on their front porch all day and watches the waves.”

Luke could picture it perfectly. They would be the laid back grandparents that took the grandkids to the beach all the time, having bonfires in their backyard on warm summer nights. They would have their own little beach house with a porch swing and a dog. He wasn’t too keen on growing old just yet, but the thought definitely made the future seem bright.

“One day,” he affirmed. “But what about now? Where do you want to live after you graduate?”

“I think I want to stay where we are.” She glanced up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Is that where you want to be?”

“It is.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “We could live anywhere and I would be happy as long as I had you, Dev.”

“You’re so cheesy,” she chuckled although her heart soared. She felt the same way; white picket fence house or tiny apartment, she would be content so long as she had Luke.

“I’m a poet. It’s my specialty.”

The couple laughed before falling into silence again.

Luke meant what he said. He still wanted to be in the city and close to all the job opportunities for Devon, but he wanted more than their little apartment. It was perfect for college students, but they had always yearned for something more. Once Devon got a job after graduation and if his book sales continued to be successful, they could achieve their dreams soon.

The rest of the trip was pure bliss. They spent their days lounging on the beach and popping in and out of antique shops in the town. There were many photos, many laughs, many heartfelt kisses. It was exactly what they needed to recharge and regroup. After weeks of tension, they were finally at ease.

All too soon, it was back to reality. Devon had a thesis paper to finish, and Luke had a book to get back to work on. However, they were confident that the workload wouldn’t put such a strain on their relationship this time. They had a newfound energy to power through and make things work.

Time flew by, and before either of them knew it, Devon was only two weeks away from graduation. She was only two weeks from having her master’s degree. She had to admit she was proud of herself. Grad school was no walk in the park, and she was about to finish. In a world that seemed to be against her, she was succeeding.

It was both an exciting and stressful time in her life. She was approaching the finish line, and she even had a few job offers lined up. No more receptionist work for her.

There was one thing that was bringing her down; the damn thesis paper.

Her first draft was done, but she wasn’t happy with it. She spent hours editing and rewriting, fingers cramping from all the typing. She only had another week to finish, and the panic was starting to set in.

“You’re working yourself ragged, honey,” Luke said one afternoon, not missing the concerningly dark circles under Devon’s eyes or the fact that she had been wearing the same shirt for three days. He placed his hands on her shoulders, thumbs working the stiff muscles. “Come on, take a break.”

“I don’t have time, Luke,” she huffed, eyes never leaving her computer screen. “I only have a week to finish and this paper is shit.”

Luke felt his heart break in his chest. It pained him to see her so stressed out and unsure of herself. Devon was a perfectionist; she would settle for nothing less than fantastic for her paper.

“Devon, look at me,” he mumbled, gently grabbing her chin to turn her face towards him. Exhaustion weighed heavy on her features.

One look into Luke’s sincere blue eyes had Devon’s own watering. Her bottom lip trembled as she turned around in her chair to stand up. She collapsed into Luke’s arms, a pained sob escaping her lips.

“It’s so hard, Lu,” she choked out. “It’s so hard.”

“Oh, honey,” he cooed, slowly walking backwards until they reached the bed. He laid down and coaxed Devon to join, still crying into his chest. “It’s alright, just let it out. It’s okay to cry. I’m right here.”

She sobbed until she had no tears left, cries subsiding to the occasional sniffle. She felt a sense of relief, letting out a deep breath.

“You okay, baby?” Luke inquired. He only got a nod in response. “I told you you needed to take a break, Dev.”

She sighed and mumbled something incoherent, burying her head further into Luke’s chest.

“What do you want to do now, honey?” He asked. “You want to take a nap? I know you’re tired.”

She did want to nap. She wanted to sleep for days, but life didn’t allow that.

“Shower,” she grumbled, voice muffled. “Then nap.”

“Alright,” he agreed softly, thankful that she wasn’t fighting him on taking a break anymore.

While she showered, Luke straightened up her workspace a bit, knowing the mess would only stress her out more. He also prepped some celery with ranch dressing, one of Devon’s favorite snacks, for her to munch on before she went to sleep.

Devon let the hot water soothe her aching muscles. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, relishing in the warmth. She didn’t want to take too long of a break, but Luke was right; she was working too hard. If she was well rested, felt good, and paced herself, she would do much better.

After her shower, she changed into one of Luke’s clean t-shirts and her most comfortable pair of leggings. She stepped out of the bathroom and walked back to the bedroom, quickly noticing her tidy desk and the plate of celery on her nightstand.

She could have started crying again, just because of how sweet he was. He had a certain knack for being able to make her feel better instantly.

“I’ve got a snack for you to have before you take your nap,” Luke explained, standing up from the edge of the bed. “Celery and ranch.”

She stood up on her toes to press a grateful kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, bubs.”

Curled up in bed, she nibbled on her snack until she could barely keep her eyes open. Setting the plate back on the nightstand, she moved herself to lay down and curled up next to Luke.

“Don’t let me sleep too long, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise,” Luke assured. “Just go to sleep, honey. You need it.”

Devon dozed off contently. With Luke by her side, she was ready to take on the next two weeks.

…

Devon’s knee bounced the whole flight to the city of her grad school, as much as Luke tried to calm her down. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous; she had been through graduation ceremonies before. All she had to do was walk across the stage, get her diploma, and shake a few hands. It was simple.

“Why are you so nervous, honey?” He had asked, rubbing her thigh to soothe her.

“I don’t know,” she huffed. She reached for Luke’s hand on her leg to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t think it’s the ceremony that I’m nervous about. It’s just...I don’t know.”

The fact that she didn’t know what was bothering her only stressed her out more. She knew there really was nothing to worry about. She had gone through her bag a million times before leaving for the airport; she had her cap and gown, as well as the dress and heels she bought for the occasion and enough clothes to last the trip. Her phone was tucked safely in the pocket of her joggers along with her wallet. Pretty much anything else, she could either live without for a few days or buy it there.

If she wasn’t worried about the ceremony and she knew she packed all the essentials, then what was she so nervous about?

Luke dropped it for the rest of the plane ride, but once they got to the hotel, getting ready to meet Devon’s parents for dinner, the way she paced around the room and fidgeted with everything she could get her hands on was starting to make him nervous.

“Everything is going to be fine, Dev. You’re getting your master’s and your parents are going to be there to see you. I know they are so proud of you. You worked so hard for this. Isn’t that exciting?”

The realization finally hit.

Devon’s parents expected a lot from her. She knew they always wanted the best for her, and she did everything she could to make them proud. Her parents were loving people. They always said that they would be proud of her no matter what, but Devon never felt like she was doing enough.

“That’s just it, Luke. What if it’s not enough? What if they expect more?” She rambled, straightening her necklace for the thousandth time.

“What more could they expect? You just finished grad school. That’s a huge accomplishment,” he tried to reason with her.

“Anything. They could expect anything else.”

Luke realized what was happening. The need to make other people proud bled into a need for herself to feel accomplished. Even if her parents told her a million times that they would always be proud of her, she would always need more. She needed validation.

“Devon Murphy. Look me in the eyes.”

He grabbed her shoulders to stop her pacing. She stared up at him, eyes wide with nerves.

“I need you to realize that your worth is not measured by physical accomplishments. Your worth is not measured in grades and degrees. And even if it was, you’ve done better than the average person. You say your parents will want more, but I know for a fact that you have already made them more proud than you can imagine. You will always be enough.”

Devon wasn’t sure when she had started crying, but Luke used his thumbs to wipe the wetness off her cheeks. She definitely needed to hear that. Unable to find the right words, she leaned up to kiss him, a silent expression of her gratitude.

“Love you,” she whispered against his lips. He grinned and gave her one last peck before pulling away.

“I love you too.” He wiped away the bit of smudged mascara under her eyes. “Are you ready to go?”

Devon nodded. Hand in hand they headed out the door and to the restaurant.

Devon’s parents were ecstatic to see her. They hadn’t been able to visit since the holidays, and they were simply overjoyed to see their daughter and watch her get her master’s degree.

They were excited to see Luke as well. From the moment Devon first brought him home to meet them, they knew he was the one. They looked at each other like they were the entire world. Luke was kind and respectful. They had full faith in him to be a good man for their daughter.

Naturally, they were shocked when Devon told them that her and Luke broke up. It was the last thing they ever expected, but they knew deep down that things would work out in the end. They were right.

The meal went smoothly. The lively conversation put any anxieties Devon was feeling at ease, and as the night ended and her and Luke were off to bed, she was ready.

…

Devon took her time to get ready in the morning.

She got up early so she could take a long shower, cleaning well so she felt her best. She blow dried her hair and took her time doing her makeup. She did it lightly, wanting to look natural but not washed out in the inevitable countless photos she would be taking.

Slipping on the orchid purple color dress she bought, she glanced at herself in the mirror.

Luke’s words from the evening before rang in her mind. This was a huge accomplishment. She had done many amazing things in her life. She was enough.

Devon walked out the bathroom with a smile, ready to go. Luke was sitting at the small table in the corner, hunched over his notebook. He had already changed into his dress shirt and slacks, ready when she was.

His eyes widened when he saw her. She was simply glowing with confidence and pride, as she should. He smiled brightly as he stood up to meet her.

“You look stunning, my love,” he mumbled. He shook his head softly. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, bubs.” She glanced past him at his notebook. “What are you writing?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled.

He grabbed Devon’s black gown from where it was hung on the closet door and handed it to her along with her cap. With a deep breath, she was ready to go.

The ride to the school was short. Devon and Luke met up with her parents beforehand.

“We are so proud of you, sweetheart,” her dad announced, placing his hands on her shoulders.

“We always knew you would do amazing things,” her mom added in, tears welling up in her eyes.

Devon finally felt like she had done enough. Looking at her parents, she knew that they were truly beyond proud. She was enough.

“Don’t cry, Mom,” Devon chuckled warmly, pulling them in for a hug. “I wouldn’t be here without you two. Thank you.”

They talked for another minute before a different familiar voice called Devon’s name. She turned around to find Luke’s parents walking up, big smiles on their faces. Her mouth dropped at the surprise, heart bursting. Luke hadn’t told her that he invited them, but it made her so happy that they were there as well. Her relationship with them was very strong.

“Liz! Andy! Oh my gosh, thank you for coming!” She cheered, sharing hugs with them as well.

“Luke invited us. We’re so proud of you, Devon. We wouldn’t miss this,” Liz said, Andy piping in his agreement.

Devon couldn’t contain her smile, glancing at Luke in appreciation. This was her family, all together and there to support her in her biggest accomplishment. She felt proud, excited, and loved. She couldn’t ask for more.

The three couples chatted and took a few pictures until it was time for Devon to go. She exchanged hugs and kisses with each person before heading off to join the rest of her graduating class, Luke and the parents going to find their seats.

The anticipation as she waited to enter the gymnasium was killing her, lined up in a sea of caps and gowns. She shifted her weight back and forth, making small talk with the person standing in front of her that she had never met just to pass the time.

Eventually, the line began to move, walking right towards the next chapter of their lives.

The sound of Pomp and Circumstance filled Devon’s ears as she walked inside. The massive crowd made her heart rate pick up a little, both in excitement and nerves. This wasn’t just her big day. So many other students were feeling just the same as she was, so many other families beaming with pride. It made her feel good to be a part of something so grand.

Devon quickly glanced around for her family, but the crowd was too big to spot them. She took her seat in the folding chair, and the ceremony began.

Many people made speeches, most of which Devon wasn’t familiar with, but listened intently anyway. Before she knew it, it was time to call names. The first half of the alphabet flew by, and suddenly, it was Devon’s turn.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she stood at the bottom of the steps, her smile wide. After every all nighter, all the stress, she did it. She finished grad school. She had her master’s degree in social work.

“Devon Murphy.”

The crowd cheered as she walked across the stage. She could hear a few cheers that stood out among the rest, and she knew exactly who they belonged to. She couldn’t help but laugh as she was handed her diploma and shook hands. Nothing was funny, but she had never felt such a sense of pride and joy.

Devon barely heard the rest of the ceremony. She was buzzing, staring at the diploma resting in her lap. She did it.

Her attention was regained when the people next to her stood up, and she quickly followed, walking out of the gymnasium. Everyone made their way to where the graduates could meet their guests. It took a minute to find them in the crowd, but she spotted them.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the group as she ran towards them, pulling them all into a group hug. They all chorused their congratulations and pride. The love between them was strong, pride immeasurable.

Devon hugged her parents and Luke’s parents individually before she got to him. His smile crinkled his eyes, grabbing her face and pressing a firm kiss to her lips.

“Congratulations, honey,” he mumbled once he pulled away. “You did it. I am so, so proud of you.”

The group took many, many pictures before heading off to have a late lunch. Luke refused to tell her where they were going on the drive there, but soon enough Luke pulled into the parking lot of a fancy steakhouse.

“This place is like, the same price as my tuition, Lu,” she stated, giving him a look.

“Only the best for our graduate,” was his simple response, sending her a wink before getting out of the car. She rolled her eyes playfully but followed, grateful for the treat.

Luke and Devon’s parents meet them inside, talking to the hostess for a moment before being led towards the back of the restaurant. Devon followed, confused when they passed all of the tables in the dining room.

“Where are we sitting?” She whispered to Luke, but her question was answered when the hostess opened a door that led to an outdoor patio. String lights were strung through the awning, a perfectly set table for six sat in the middle. There were no other tables out there, telling Devon it was private.

“You guys!” She exclaimed, glancing around the group with a grateful smile. “This is too much.”

“You just got your master’s degree, Devon. This is the least we can do.”

The group all took their seats, a server quick to come and take drink orders.

The meal was phenomenal. The food was delicious, and it was also nice to be able to have everyone together. Devon and Luke’s parents had only met a couple of times, so they were glad that this was an opportunity for everyone to be together.

After dessert, Luke rested his hand on top of Devon’s on the table. She looked at him with a grin, but he looked nervous. She furrowed her eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. She snuck a glance around the table, noticing that they were biting back smiles. Now more confused than concerned, she turned back to Luke.

“Nothing’s wrong, honey,” he assured. “I, um...I have something for you.”

Luke grabbed Devon’s hand and pulled her to stand up with him. She glanced back at the group; they had pulled their phones out, holding them up.

“Lu…” she murmured under her breath, heart rate picking up and heat rushing to her cheeks. He sent her a comforting smile and took a deep breath.

“I’ve been trying to write this poem for you for weeks now. I just haven’t been able to get the words right. But this morning, I finally finished it. I’d like to read it to you, if that’s okay.”

He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he pulled a neatly folded piece of paper out of his pants pocket. Trembling fingers unfolded it, Devon watching as a million thoughts of what this might be ran through her mind. Luke held the paper in one hand and reached for Devon’s with the other.

The poem was beautiful. It spoke of a seed that budded into a vibrant flower, one full of life that lit up a room. The flower radiated love and kindness to all. It spoke of a love that was true and pure. Devon was barely holding back her tears by the time he finished reading, squeezing his hand.

“That was incredible, Luke,” she whispered shakily, smiling. He squeezed her hand in return and set the paper on the table.

“I just have one thing that I want to ask you now.”

He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, pulling out a small black box. Devon gasped, finally putting the pieces together. Time went in slow motion as he sank down to one knee, opening the box. She didn’t even look at the ring. She was staring at Luke, at least trying to, through her tears. Her hands covered her mouth in shock, heart racing.

“Devon Jo Murphy...will you marry me?”

All she could do was nod. Words completely escaped her. She hardly even registered the cheers from her family as Luke slipped the ring onto her finger. He quickly stood up to meet her, pulling her in for a bruising kiss. Their tears mingled together, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

“I love you so much, Devon. So fucking much.”

“You’re my world, Luke. I love you with my entire heart.”

They finally pulled back and looked at each other. Their eyes were red rimmed and their smiles beaming. They laughed, so full of love and joy. They were shortly joined by their parents, congratulating and hugging.

Everything about Luke and Devon was beautiful. The love they had for each other was as abundant as a field of flowers. Bright, joyous. A college seminar led to a wonderful, blooming relationship. And bloom, they most certainly did.

[imagines-r-s]

this is home (JJ Maybank x OC)

JJ Maybank x AJ Flynn (OC)

Summary: all the times AJ Flynn was JJ’s home and all the times he was hers

Warnings: violence, underage drinking, and marijuana use, domestic violence

also, my requests are open

I honestly really want to write more for my girl, Anastasia Julia Flynn.

--just to clarify, I am in no way trying to romanticize parental abuse and if it triggers you in any way, please don’t read --

JJ Maybank and AJ Flynn had a very interesting relationship. Both of them would make fun of the other until their last breath, but they’d also defend the other until their last breath. The two had so much in common, it was almost comical.  John B and JJ had met in the third grade, both of them meeting AJ a few years later. The three had been there for each other’s best and worst times. Pope and Kie joined the group, sometime during middle school. 

Big John had just gone missing and JB was the only one still holding on hope after a while. But everyone still supported him. 

Kie was the only other girl in the group, which helped a lot in terms of having to deal with all the testosterone in the air. So when she mentioned that she was leaving for her kook year, everyone --especially AJ-- was hurt. 

“What do you- what do you mean you’re leaving?” she was trying not to show the hurt on her face as she stood in front of the boys. 

“AJ, I’m just tired of being a pogue, sometimes people bail, get used to it,” AJ was seething at this point, taking her time to walk closer to Kiara. “AJ, don’t do something you’ll regret,” she heard John B say behind her. 

JJ was just waiting for AJ to explode, her history was just as violent as his, and he knew she’d act on impulses because he was trying hard not to. “So you mean to tell me after we were the ones here for you, that you’re just up and leaving. You’re not just leaving me, you’re leaving all of us. And your justification is ‘people bail, get used to it.”

“AJ-,” she tried to interrupt. 

“No, if you plan on leaving, don’t ever plan on showing your face here again, you backstabbing bit-” she was interrupted by a palm hitting my cheek. “Ok, that’s it.” 

“AJ, stop-”

“AJ, no.”

She heard the boys yelling behind her before she ran up to Kie and tackled her. “You want things to be like that? Ok.” Before she could throw the punch, she felt JJ pull her back and off of Kie. “JJ, let me go.” JJ looked at Kie, quickly telling her that if she’s leaving to leave now. JJ pulled her back into the chateau, almost struggling to keep a hold of her as she was flailing. 

He quickly took her into the spare room, that the two basically shared. He watched as she went to sit on the bed. “You need to calm down.” He couldn’t read the expression on her face like he usually could. She kept her eyes trained on the ground. “AJ, look at me. Look at me,” her eyes finally met his, and he could see the unshed tears,” you got to tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours,” he said poking her forehead, in an effort to make her smile. When he saw her roll her eyes, she knew there was a lot she needed to discuss. 

“How am I supposed to calm down, when she just up and left? Especially with the dumbass reason of people bail.” She ran her hands through her hair, an anxious habit she’d picked up over the years. “I just don’t get it.”

“Hey, I know it won’t help, but do you want to go on the water? How does that sound?”

“The boys can come, too, if they want.” 

The four of them spent the rest of the night on the HMS Pogue, trying to forget about the events that happened a few hours prior. The chaotic duo of JJ and AJ, sat next to each other smoking while the other two sat drinking on the other side of the boat. 

“So, AJ, you’ve never told us what AJ stands for,” John B asked, before taking a drink of his beer. “Yeah, I would like to keep it that way. Why don’t you ask your boy, JJ, what his name means?”

“Well, then it’s a question for both of you,” Pope interjected.

There were only a few people that knew your full name, not that she really kept it a secret, no one ever asked. “Anastasia Julia Flynn, AJ Flynn,” she took another hit of the blunt. JJ chuckled right next to her, to which she elbowed him in response. “I don’t want to hear shit from you, Mr. I was named after a criminal.”

“Wait, you guys know each other’s name and didn’t tell us,” Pope said. 

“Also, you’re named after a criminal?” John B said after.

“Jesse James Maybank, the one and only. But don’t ignore that AJ is named after a fucking princess.” 

“The names are really fitting, in all honesty,” Pope interjected to which the both of you simply shrugged. “You hear that princess, he likes your name,” JJ said with that stupid smirk on his face. “Shut up, criminal.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next few months went by fairly quickly. The parties, the work, everything else. The chaotic duo kept up with the chaos, as usual. Both of them stayed at the chateau, not just for JB but also for their own well being away from their parents. The two of them knew that when the bruises were showing up on each other, it wasn’t because they were clumsy, or they fell, or any other excuse they would muster up. The two were used to cleaning the others scrapes and bruises anytime they came back from home or just when they were in fights, both occurred often. 

The group of four were hanging out on the hammocks, JJ had fallen asleep, basically laying on top of AJ, his arms wrapped around her waist. “When are you two finally going to admit your feelings for each other?” John B was the one to break the silence. “You know it’s not that simple, both of us are way too unstable for that.”

“That boy is whipped for you, plain and simple. He’s just too scared to admit it and so are you.” Pope did have a point, but she’d never admit that he was right. “I mean, you’re not necessarily wrong, but I’m not going to say that you’re right.” The two boys simply hummed in response, he opened his mouth to respond, but before he could respond, her phone started ringing. 

“Hey….yeah...uh, no I just got caught up at John B’s…I know...mhm...I know...yeah, I’ll head home…yeah..bye,” she hung up and sighed. Knowing that 1.) she would have to leave and 2.) she would have to wake JJ up. “Well looks like I will have to get going, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

“JJ,” she gently pushed him,” I have to go home, you have to move.” She heard him grumble, “Princess, no stay here.” Luckily, the blush on her cheeks was hidden by the lack of light outside. “Come on, Jay, I have to go.” When he finally moved, she was able to make her way towards her car, so that she could rough back home. 

“You calling her princess now?” John B asked after seeing AJ drive away. “It was just a joke b-because of her name, you know. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Aww, is JJ Maybank flustered over a girl?” Pope teased. “No, no, of course not. Where’s she going anyways?”

“You didn’t hear her say she was going home.” JJ was wide awake as soon as he heard those words leave Pope’s mouth. “Shit, okay. I’m going to head inside, but don’t lock up tonight.”

The other two boys were left worried but simply shrugged. JJ went back into their shared room, anxiously waiting for her to come back to him. 

AJ pulled into her driveway, shortly after leaving the chateau. She opened the door to see her father sitting in the living room. “ Anastasia, I’m glad that you could actually come home for once.” She was making her way over to the stairs that would lead her upstairs, “hey dad, I’m sorry, I lost track of time while I was hanging out with the boys.”

“You mean whoring it up with them?”

“No, that’s not what happened, I promise. We just hung out as always.” Before she could register anything, he had already brought his hand across her face with so much force that she was knocked on the ground. “Don’t lie to me, bitch.” 

AJ easily disassociated away from the harsh words, losing count of how many times she was hit, and trying to think of better times. She finally noticed when he had walked back to his room to which she made her way to the kitchen to pick up her keys and take some pain medications. She took note that a few hours had passed, seeing the clock saying it was almost 2:30 am when she left the chateau the clock read 10 pm. She only stayed longer to make sure her dad had fallen asleep before leaving to head back to what she considered her home. 

She stumbled into the chateau holding onto her side, hoping that JJ would be in their shared room, only to see him sitting on the couch. “Omg, AJ,” he made his way over to her, “love, are you ok?” He noticed her lip quivering to which he enveloped her in his arms. “I’m sorry if I woke you up or anything, I just couldn’t-”

“AJ, you don’t have to apologize for any of this. Come on let’s get you cleaned up,” he led her quietly towards the bathroom. She sat on the counter while he grabbed the first aid kit. “He thinks I’m whoring it up with you guys. And when I told him I wasn’t he-he did this.” JJ looked at her empathetically, not with pity, but the look that he could easily relate to whatever was going on. He had finished cleaning her cuts as gently as he could, which prompted her to ask, “can I sleep in your hoodie, tonight?”

“Yeah, of course,” he walked over to get her favorite hoodies of hers, making her smile, “c’mon bub, let’s get some sleep.” She quickly got situated on their bed, laying on JJ’s chest. JJ listened as her breathing evened out and her quiet snores filled the room.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The boneyard was filled with bodies as teens drunkenly moved around the boneyard. The pogues were all sitting around the fire, mostly just watching other people and drinking on their own time. JJ felt the girl beside him stiffen, he followed where her eyes were, seeing the ex-pogue making her way over to the group of pogues, with her new group of friends. “Princess, don’t start anything,” JJ whispered into her ear. 

“Hey, pogues,” Rafe Cameron said, glancing at those around the fire. 

“Hey, stuck up, entitled assholes,” AJ shot back. 

“Ooh, wouldn’t want your dad to hear that you’re talking to his best friend’s son with that mouth of yours, Anastasia,” Rafe shot back. “Don’t call me that,” she said, quickly standing up. “Rafe, come on dude,” Kie interjected. “Don’t defend us now, bitch,” she shot back. “Woah, back at it again with that mouth. Once daddy dearest finds out you’ll be black and blue, again.”

That was all it took for JJ to lunge forward and punch Rafe square in the jaw, over and over again. “JJ, stop,” AJ tried to yell over all the noise. JJ didn’t stop until Pope and John B had pulled him off, even then he was still thrashing in hopes that they would let go. “Hey, hey, hey, look at me. JJ. Look at me,” AJ had put her hands on JJ’s face, to ground him. “We can go back to the chateau and smoke, but you need to calm down now. Okay, bub?” She didn’t move until he nodded and took her hand in his. 

“I’m sorry, he just shouldn’t have brought that up,” JJ interrupted the silence. “You’re right, but you can’t let him win by doing that. It shows that he has an effect on you.” JJ chuckled in response to what the girl said, “Ma’am, you should really take your own advice.” The girl beside him stayed silent.

Once they reached the chateau, she jumped up in the hammock first, waiting for JJ to find his usual spot of laying on top of AJ, and wrapping his arms around her waist. “I think I’m in love with you,” JJ said, in a whisper to where only she could hear. “What?” AJ quickly leaned up to look to see if he was being honest. “I said, I think I’m in love with you.”

She couldn’t even fathom the idea that he was in love with her. “JJ, I- I can’t. I need to go.” JJ didn’t fight her to stay, but he instantly regretted his choice of saying how he felt. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

AJ didn’t show up to the chateau for a few days, she had to take time to think about what her best friend had told her. She knew she reciprocated, but she was scared. She was scared that once she admitted it, things would fall apart. Or that she’d lose her favorite person. Or things would get much worse for her and she’d continue pushing him away. 

AJ hadn’t planned on returning back to the chateau until she got a call from John B, “What is it?”

“It’s JJ.”

AJ left her house at a record-breaking speed, speeding quickly to get to her boy. She had walked up to her house seeing John B and Pope on the porch. “Where is he and what happened?”

“After you left, he went back home, stealing all the alcohol from his dad, and he just now started drinking it all, he’s crossed right now, and won’t let anyone near him.”

AJ sighed, she blamed herself. She should have talked with him, before leaving, but now she had to help her broken boy. “Jay, it’s me.”

“What do you want?” she heard from the kitchen. 

“I missed you and I came to talk.”

“Oh, how rich, that you want to talk now,” the boy slurred. 

“Whatever, JJ. Just please hear me out.”

“I’m in love with you, too-”

“Then, why the fuck did you leave?”

“Because I was scared, ok?” she didn’t mean to yell, but her voice had raised,” I was scared.” JJ looked like he didn’t know how to respond. “Look, I was just scared because what if I lost you, what if you didn’t want to deal with me and all my family issues. What if, shit, I can’t lose you J.”

“Anastasia, stop.” JJ had sobered up as much as he could. 

“JJ, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I didn’t-” She was forced to look up when JJ’s hand tilted her chin to force her to look at him. She visibly gulped, which made him smirk. “Anastasia Julia Flynn, you need to stop rambling. It’s adorable, but slow down. I love you and I’m not leaving.” His lips met hers hungrily, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth when she gasped. The kiss was sloppy, but it was necessary after so long. 

When the two broke apart, their foreheads stayed together. “I love you, too, Jesse James Maybank.”

“I’m really tired, can we cuddle?”

“You’re such a softy, but yeah.” JJ pulled the girl into the spare room, making his way to his closet to grab her favorite cut-off shirt, “here you go, love.” For all the times, AJ felt lost, she was glad she had a home to come back to. 

Jesse James Maybank was her home.

[taetaespeaches]

“We’re becoming more of a spectacle than the art.”

namjoon x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.7K

a/n: ok so here is a museum date with Joonie which was requested ages ago. This is part of the long term Joon/Daisy couple in which they are trying to shift their relationship from a supposed to be one night stand to an actual romantic relationship. It kind of follows after “Please don’t cry”, in which they have a argument/discussion about wanting to get to know each other better outside of Namjoon’s apartment- that fic is not necessary to read for this one, It just shows that these two have been making the effort to date properly, despite having already been intimate. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :)) 

AFTER a taking an excessive amount of public transport, your anxiety bubbling over the fear of getting lost, you finally arrived at the museum. Looking down at your phone, you saw the text from your date saying he was waiting for you at the entrance of the Lotte Museum of Art, which was at the base of the Lotte World Tower.

Approaching the building, maneuvering your way through the bustling crowds, you spotted your tall handsome man, his eyes scanning the sea of people. When his eyes found yours, his stunning smile overtook his face as he waved cutely at you, standing a little taller.

Though the relationship wasn’t labeled yet, you had been on a few dates at this point, most of them taking place in cafes or perusing small shops. However, it was still a little strange seeing him out in public. A good strange, just different. You returned the smile as you walked toward him, your heart racing at the sight of him because he was there, waiting for you. Only you.

“Babe,” he called out happily when you neared him.

“Next time we’re coming together, I was so fucking scared of getting lost,” you complained with a chuckle, Namjoon’s eyes shooting around the crowd at your loud and public vulgarity, though he chuckled at the outburst.

“I’m sorry,” he smiled as you appeared in front of him, his hand finding your lower back as he leaned forward, leaving a quick but sweet kiss to your lips. “Next time we come together,” he grinned.

“Hi,” you greeted him with a smile, Joon moving his hand from your lower back to swing around your shoulders, pulling you against his side as he walked you toward the doors of the museum.

“I already paid for our entry,” he told you before pressing another kiss to your temple as he held out a brochure of the exhibit you were about to see.

“Ooh, Dan Flavin, right?” You asked as you took the brochure.

“Yeah, he basically abandoned painting for creating these amazing pieces using fluorescent lights, and space,” Namjoon told you as you entered the museum.

“Did you learn all that from this or did you do prior research,” you asked with a smirk, Namjoon letting out an embarrassed breathy chuckle.

“I may have done a bit of research when planning this date,” he told you, dimples on display as you giggled at him.

“You’re adorable,” you cooed as you turned your attention to the pamphlet. You silently read over the information until you found a section you particularly liked, reading it out loud. “Flavin summed up his practice as ‘decisions to combine traditions of painting and sculpture in architecture with acts of electric light defining space.’ The result is a phenomenological experience where the work of art must be experienced in person by a viewer,” you read. “Flavin was taking color out of the confines of the canvas and into our corporeal space.”

Namjoon hummed thoughtfully as he navigated through the museum, leading you both toward the exhibit hall.

“You know, that’s kind of like you,” you told him as you continued to peruse the information in your hands.

Your date thoughtfully looked down at you as he studied your expression while you read. Stopping his movements, you glanced up at him, meeting his gaze. Raising your eyebrows in question, Namjoon gave you a small smile. “What do you mean kind of like me?”

You opened your mouth to speak but stalled a moment as you gathered your thoughts. “With your music,” you told him, Namjoon’s eyes widening in surprise. “You take these traditional styles of hip hop and rap and pop, and even the traditional idol image, and you make them new. You don’t let genre confine you,” you shrugged, unaware of how much your words meant to the man standing beside you.

As you stared up at him, his gaze intense and unwavering, you felt your cheeks flush. “What?”

Namjoon let out a small chuckle as he shook his head. “You’re just amazing,” he told you, resting his forehead against your own. “I don’t think you even know how amazing you are and that’s just fucking shocking to me,” he whispered before his hand found the back of your head as he brought his lips to yours.

You eagerly kissed him back, not unaware that you were in a public space but just not caring in that moment as you allowed him to deepen the kiss for just a moment. Smiling against his lips, you reluctantly pulled away.

“Ok, that’s enough pda for now,” you smirked, Namjoon blushing. “As much as I like you being obsessed with me,” you teased him, Namjoon throwing his head back laughing, “we’re becoming more of a spectacle than the art.”

Your date slowly took a look around at the eyeing pupils surrounding you, a bashful smile overtaking his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. In that moment, he looked so young and excited, and you found yourself admiring the dual presence of youth and maturity he carried around with him.

“You know,” he started, grabbing your hand as he led you into the exhibit. “I’m only a little bit obsessed with you.”  

“Oh, just a little bit, huh?” You asked him with an amused smile.

“Little bit,” he told you, holding his fingers up to show you the miniscule amount of obsession he had for you.

“Well,” you shot him a cocky smirk. “Just give me more time to impress you with my wildly interesting mind,” you playfully bragged as you both entered the Dan Flavin: Lights exhibit, the darkened rooms illuminated with different colors of fluorescent lights. “Then you’ll be the proper amount of obsessed,” you informed him as your eyes fell on the displays. While you were figuring out what to make of the installations, Namjoon’s eyes were on you, admiring the way the colorful lights shined on your face.

Stepping behind you, he wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. “You’ve left several impressions, don’t worry about that, Babe,” he whispered to you before he started walking, both of you stepping closer to one of the displays. “What do you think of this one?”

The display featured a simple structure of a few fluorescent lights sitting perpendicular to each other against the corner of the walls, casting a green and blue glow.

“Can I be honest?” You asked, Namjoon humming a confirmation against your temple. “I don’t really get it,” you giggled. “Like it’s interesting to look at, but what does it mean?”

Namjoon looked at the piece thoughtfully before speaking. “I don’t know, I don’t think the meaning is necessarily as important as the feelings it evokes.”

You smiled at that but dipped your head to look down at your feet bashfully, your shoes glowing in green and blue light. “I love art, and I love the almost lack of clarity that comes with abstract media, but to be completely blatant, I don’t understand what the fuck Mr. Flavin was doing with these fluorescent lights,” you bit your lip, turning your face toward Namjoon’s just in time to see his mouth spread into a wide smile as a laugh fell from his lips.

You both turned toward the piece again as Namjoon told you, “it makes me feel calm.”

Your lips curved upward at the comment as you nodded. “I get that. I feel a bit melancholy looking at it.” Namjoon looked toward you again as his arms slid off your body, his eyes following you as you made your way to another display.

Slowly following behind you, he watched as you turned toward the lights, your side profile illuminated with pink and orange hues. He found himself pulling his phone out of his pocket and he shot a few photos of you in the glow of the art. Turning to find him, you caught him taking photos and smiled bashfully before pulling a few silly faces as he walked  toward you, snapping photos as he neared you.

“I like this one more,” you told him. “It’s warm. Makes me feel comforted.”

Namjoon smiled at you as he nodded. “I agree. Kind of gives off the feeling of compassion.” With his dimples on display, his eyes kind and attentive as he looked back at you, his face glowing in pink with orange highlights, your heart raced as feelings of intense tenderness and fondness rushed through your being.

“Maybe even the feeling of love. Giving love, receiving love,” you whispered as the realization hit you that you may be falling in love with him.

The smile on his face only widened as he let out a single breathy laugh before nodding. “Yeah, love. I feel that too.”

It wasn’t a confession- not yet, at least, but more an admission to yourselves of where your feelings were headed. “Hang on,” you told him suddenly as you pulled out your own phone. “We better get a few shots of you, you know, for your twitter,” you grinned. You were using the excuse of twitter updates to cover up the fact that you just wanted to capture Namjoon in this moment, and he knew that, nodding exaggeratedly.

“Of course, for twitter,” he smiled as he prepared to pose, though you had already started snapping photos. “This definitely won’t be your phone background later I’m sure,” he teased, you chuckling as you shook your head.

“Shut up and pose,” you defended weakly with a smile, Namjoon laughing as you captured the moment to look back on.  

Namjoon wouldn’t find out for another week that your phone background just happened to be a photo of him mid-laugh, his skin cast in a warm glow of pink and orange lights. But he would reveal at the same time that his background was you pulling a ridiculous face, slightly blurred, cast in the same light.

After taking a few photos of Namjoon for him to actually post on twitter for his fans, he walked toward you, you holding out the phone to show him the shots. “These suitable for you, Mr. Kim?” You asked, however he ignored your question and the photos, grabbing your face between his hands and crashing his lips to yours.

Your hands hung to your sides in surprise as you pulled back a bit, smiling at the way he chased your lips. “More pda? Control yourself,” you teased, Namjoon scoffing as he chuckled.

“Shut up and kiss me,” he told you as he pressed his mouth to yours again. This time your hands gripped the sides of his abdomen, allowing him to deepen the kiss, because, well, if he insisted.