#A TERF liked this post so all TERFs go die in a hole

[steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches]

I walk into the Bannered Mare,

Goats? Stolen

Hagravens? Married

I am forcibly removed from the Temple of Dibella

[olderthannetfic]

I’m this anon who asked about radical feminist/trans debates. I appreciate your response and those of your commenters, particularly @elfwreck who described a long evolution of discourse that I’ve missed. I’ve not been intentionally dense…just a woman and working mother who’s been busy as hell for about the last 15 years and focused on getting through the day. I’ve always supported gay rights, never gave it a second thought. With my kids older and more time on my hands, I started exploring fanfic and have been drawn in. One thing led to another and I find myself down tumblr rabbit holes with women raising questions about girls sports and the dangers of HRT for teens and whether lesbians are allowed to not like dicks, with responses that generally amount to “die terf”. I start researching online and find academic papers and news articles, but find essentially a similar message to you and your commenters: “radical feminists are obviously wrong and not to be taken seriously”. No addressing the questions I’ve seen raised. I get the point—one side is indefensible and I missed the boat on seeing the discussion play out many years ago. I suppose I was looking for a short cut through social media which feels silly in retrospect. Regardless, the radical feminists are out there making intellectual arguments across social media on a range of topics, including men in general, misogyny, porn, prostitution. In all likelihood the post that first pulled me in to their viewpoints related to the imbalance between women and their husbands with respect to child raising, housework, and expressing anger over daily aggravations, which rang completely true to my personal experience and that of other women I know. Likely why I now find myself caught up in fanfic escapism. Anyhow, I’ll dig in deeper to academic literature on the intersection of women’s rights, gay rights, and trans rights because I finding myself caring to know this history now.

--

It happens.

A lot of the roots of current feminist debate are in the Feminist Sex Wars of the 80s. Those were about differing ideas around protecting women and the implications of pornography.

(TBH, part of how very old arguments are able to rear their ugly heads again is that this shit is old enough that the youth weren't born yet during those debates.)

While not about trans stuff per se, some of the ideas about embattled women whose territory is being encroached on link back to there. The "argument", to the extent that the anti-trans side has one, tends to be about defending women's spaces. Many of these arguments are coming from a place of genuine fear. (Maybe not realistic fear, but I believe them that they're traumatized and reacting accordingly.) Some, however, are malicious indoctrination.

There have been efforts (sometimes admitted to publicly, often not) to literally infiltrate young lefty spaces with this kind of rhetoric. It's the queer and female youth version of gamer boys getting indoctrinated by the alt right. So people on my blog have very limited patience for anything that gives this shit the time of day.

I don't think there's a particularly good shortcut since it's the culmination of decades of fighting.

But where I'd start would be by saying that a lot of the arguments sound good on the surface but boil down to "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" traps.

If someone on social media is still hung up on "But BDSM is abuse! A woman cannot meaningfully consent because [bullshit we fought about in the 80s]", we have nothing to say to each other.

The anti-kink and anti-trusting people when they say they consent attitudes tend to go hand-in-hand with suspicion of trans people and refusal to let people define their own identities.

Misogyny and unfair work distributions are absolutely real, but there's a certain "war on women" rhetoric that's about as legit as the "war on Christmas".

The "other" side agrees about a lot of the basics, like the fact that a lot of dudes really need to hold up their end of relationships better when both partners work and nobody should be solely in charge of the house.

But some feminist classic like the comic You should've asked is not on "The Feminist Side" as opposed to "The Trans Side". Regular feminism doesn't take issue with trans people. Lots of regular feminism accepts that women are kinky and horny and like impure things.

These feminist basics are often used as a strawman ("Our opponents disagree with this basic idea they clearly do not actually disagree with!") and as camouflage for much stupider ideas, like the notion that trans women would choose to be a demographic that gets murdered in bathrooms a lot. It's not cis women who are in danger from trans women! That's complete horseshit.

A lot of the talk of embattled lesbian space actually means "Oh no, some butches came out as trans men eventually, and we have to acknowledge bisexual women now".

--

Re the HRT thing... Yes, there are dangers to prescribing kids and teens hormones. A family should go into the process with a clear understanding of the effects on bone density and such. These risks can be managed the same as menopausal women manage bone density risks. These are not horrific and unknown problems: they're commonplace medical issues we've dealt with before in other contexts. They don't have to be a big deal unless a kid has some pre-existing bone disorder or something.

The part the transphobes don't tell you is that the biggest danger to trans teens is suicide.

Depending on which study you look at, something like 80% of trans youth have serious suicidal thoughts and maybe half make an actual attempt. Lots of teens have issues, but these rates are staggeringly higher than for cis peers, even cis gay peers who also tend to have higher rates than cis het teens.

Forcing someone to go through the body horror of the wrong puberty is... well... not great for their mental health. So a lot of medical professionals are understandably eager to treat kids and teens early because of the huge lasting mental toll. Taking hormones early can also result in an adult body that passes better. And perhaps people shouldn't have to pass as cis to be treated how they want to be treated, but we live in the real world.

Some people do start treatment and then regret it. That's reality. But it's a small percentage, and the issue is often that they're nonbinary and weren't presented with any options other than cis of their assigned sex at birth or transsexual in the 90s sense where you want the full top and bottom surgeries and you're still very binary. I know people who've detransitioned to a degree, but they're not like "Ah yes, I was 100% cis and a fool!" There was generally something going on, just something harder to pin down.

(In fact, most of the "evidence" of people regretting transition are from contexts where the only way to socially transition and get your government ID changed and so on was to do the full medical transition. The regretters would most likely have preferred something in the middle but were not allowed access to what they needed by punitive laws.)

A bunch of alarmist dickheads want to tell you that trans youth don't know their own minds and that everything will be safer and healthier if they just wait to get treatment. In most cases, this is completely untrue.

There used to be far more psychiatric roadblocks to getting physical medical treatment. What the haters want is for these to return. But they didn't deter trans people back then, and they're not going to now.

--

Re the dicks thing... People roll their eyes because it's such an old canard. Nobody thinks lesbians should be required to like dicks. Nobody thinks lesbians should be required to date trans women either.

But lots of trans women get bottom surgery and don't even have a penis. In any case, whether they get surgery or not, reducing them to a body part is the kind of bio-essentialist nonsense feminism normally strives to debunk.

These arguments boil down to "Have penis, will rape".

--

Re sports... Trans women don't end up being the issue. In practice, when there's a lot of scrutiny, what happens is that black cis women are seen as literally not female enough and racist shitheads demand that their hormone levels be tested and they be branded Not Female for testosterone levels or something.

Whatever this kind of regulation is intended to do, in practice, it establishes a correct way to be female, and that way is to have a body that conforms to a particular "feminine", white beauty standard.

The athletes who end up being attacked are sometimes intersex, which they may not even have known. Sometimes, they're just taller and stronger than other women. Often, they don't look normative enough to a bunch of creeps because they're too black.

The assholes cover it up with a good line of patter, but that's where this ends: treating black women like freaks.

--

The bottom line is that anti-trans supposed feminists try to pretend they speak for feminists in general and that there are two major sides locked in conflict.

In fact, they're fringe weirdos who've gained new prominence, particularly in the UK with the backing of JKR, and the rest of the feminists are over here going "This shit again? Jesus!"

I don't waste time debating their "intellectual" arguments on social media for the same reason I don't debate eugenics-preaching racists or fundie religious nuts.

Hence the lack of good resources on "both sides".

[paranormeow7]

heads up I’ll be less active around here because this site sucks and so do the people who run it.

also check #vetted fundraisers

Commissions Currently Open (INCLUDING FOR GAZA/SUDAN ETC!!!!!)

hi. I have many names, but you can call me Shai for now. They/he, plus neos, you want that information, go here -> https://en.pronouns.page/@paranormeow7

I post a lot about internet horror, electronic music, my ocs, zoology, all sorts of things. (please send me asks I crave Interaction) Stick around and maybe you’ll find something you like!! My art tag is #sugar art trash !!

I’m only active on discord, YouTube, cohost and Cara aside from here right now, I go by paranormeow7 on all. Feel free to stop by!!

(I may be afraid to talk to you, but please don’t be afraid to talk to me!! I’m anxious and awkward tho so fair warning but i love making friends :] moots feel free to shoot me dms or ask for my discord id love to get to know y’all more!! I don’t bite :]

English/Français, to a lesser extent Российский/עִברִית

also, no dni list this time. those things annoy me. I’ll just block you if you’re shitty. I’m a minor, please be normal. Im not comfortable with proshippers and I will block freely. I also block those who use typing quirks, they are very hard to read. I’m an inclusionist also rahhh I use SILLY LABELS and FUNKY PRONOUNS RAHH GET SCARED!! also. Zionists capitalists imperialists liberals terfs go die in a hole immediately

y’all don’t get a list of all of my disorders and identities or whatever. I’m a firm believer of not putting that kind of personal information on tumblr dot com. just look at my blog and take a wild guess.

other blogs I run:

@sugarstimz7 stimboard and gif collecting blog

@hinaterror1999 pokemon trainer oc blog

have fun and enjoy yourself!!

courtesy of blinkies.cafe

Like if read, if you please!!

[boreal-sea]

If you are a TERF or a radfem and you want to stop being a TERF or a radfem I can help you.

I haven't been in your exact shoes, but I've worn similar ones. Let me see if this story seems familiar to those of you who were "blackpilled" or "radicalized":

I was on a forum when I was in my early 20's. It was about women's health, and I hung out on the abortion debate forum threads. I hung out there long enough I ended up becoming one of the moderators.

As time went by, I became a bit offput by the way some of the pro-choicers treated the pro-lifers: being rude, sometimes even personally insulting people and crossing what I felt was the "line" of defending women's rights and just being plain old aggressive.

Sometimes, it seemed to me that the pro-lifers were the ones being abused and oppressed, not the pro-choicers. So... I went and found a popular pro-life forum. I started reading their point of view. I can't clearly remember if I was doing it to "know thy enemy", of if I was already feeling sympathetic to their point of view. I only knew that the health forum was a Pro-Choice zone and the pro-lifers were treated like invaders, so I think I wanted to go to the Pro-Life zone and see what it was like over there.

This did not make me popular on the health forums, and I remember I got removed from modship and banned for defending some of the pro-life users and telling off some of the pro-choice users for what I felt was ove-the-top behavior. I lost all of those friends and that whole community because I was defending pro-lifers.

You can see where this is going.

So, I now only had the pro-life forum for community. And at first, there was a lot of love-bombing and "patient" explanation of their viewpoints. There were a few people there who were aggressive to me, but I mostly avoided interacting with them. I was slowly indoctrinated into the pro-life way of looking at things. I still felt that a woman should have the right to abort if she was going to die, but I was, at one point, so deep that I was against abortion in the case of rape and incest. I, regrettably, made Gaia Online pro-life art collectibles.

Cringe.

Anyway, I was now in my mid-twenties. Again, this was over 10 years ago so the exact sequence of events is a bit fuzzy, but I remember getting into more and more arguments with some of the more aggressive forum members. At some point, one of them, an older man, decided to google the email I'd used to sign up for the forum with, and found my LiveJournal. He basically cyberstalked me, and tried to use posts I'd made over there to prove I was a bad person. This thoroughly freaked me out, and of course none of the moderators on the pro-life forum did anything about it.

Eventually, I left.

I ended up becoming pro-choice again pretty much instantly; I don't honestly think I was ever truly pro-life in my heart. I was saying what my new friends were saying, I was playing along. I could see the surface logic of their arguments and didn't know how to refute them. I never really truly internalized any of it - and for that, I'm fucking grateful.

So those were my cringefail years spent as a pro-lifer, all caused by the inciting incidents of seeing pro-choice people be "mean" to pro-lifers online.

So if you saw a trans person being mean to a terf online, and decided to go check out what the terfs were saying, and accidentally fell into their hole...

You can crawl back out again. And I'm here for you when you do.

[softmoonlightmelody]

about me

decided i should probably make this

so, hi! you can call me moonlight. i use any and all pronouns. i'm primarily in the keeper and percy jackson fandoms, although i do blog and reblog other content from other fandoms, and i blog and reblog about general queer and transiness stuff.

other blogs: @moonlightswritingandstuff (my writing blog), @moonlightswritinginspoarchive (self-explanatory)

i have an ao3, it's the same name, it's linked in my blog. enjoy.

so here i'm going to go into everything mostly important:

i'm in full support of trans people (i am one, after all) and literally everyone in the lgbtqiap+ community. i am not about to hate someone for arbitrary reasons

i do not support jkr or any terfs, but my general opinion on harry potter and jkr is 'let it die in obscurity. i could not care less' and as thus i generally don't reblog anything about jkr, even negative. i tend to stay away from her in general. point is i do not support anything jkr has done, including her antisemitism, transphobia, and general terribleness. i'm missing a bunch of things because she sucks but oh well. if you like harry potter, that's fine, like what you like, but know that i do not support jkr in the slightest. relating to the hogwarts legacy game, i am of the opinion that it sucks despite never even touching it. jkr can go die in a hole, but i generally want her to die in obscurity. it would be a great day when no one remembers her.

i'm open to most ships, i do not care about what UNLESS they are incest or pedophilia ships. however, i skew favourable to femslash ships, and i do acknowledge characters who don't get in a relationship and aro and a-spec characters. they are cool, and are all my blorbos.

i do not share personal information beyond what is already in this post and perhaps what people can garner from reading closely. please do not ask me about personal information. maybe sometime in the far future i might share more, but for now, i am a private person online. please do not press about this.

no hate! i'd rather not deal with someone who disagrees with my personal interpretation. a lot of them are personal, like drew tanaka, but at the same time i acknowledge they exist. it's okay to disagree with me, and generally my interpretations are made based off of my cultural framing and general knowledge because i enjoy worldbuilding in various themed cultures.

you can always ask my opinion on literally anything, including fandoms i'm not in. i want to see you ask me about obscure things i've never heard of, let me read a summary on wikipedia, and form my opinion solely based off of it. because that's funny.

i like pretty colours and stuff, which is why a few of my posts and my blog has that look to it

i like occasionally going through a fandom-wide fanart tag to look at cool stuff people draw. i love art, my favourite art movement is probably impressionistic.

relating to that, classical music? cool. i like romantic period.

music in general i vibe to. do not care what i listen to as long as it's not like heavy metal. i digress.

i should probably stop rambling

in conclusion, i generally don't engage in a lot of discourse because i don't need to engage in that. i have my opinions, you have yours, let's stay away from each other on that topic.

[adjectivenounnumber]

Making my own post to avoid distracting from an important conversation:

The sheer volume of people saying things like “kys” or “commit suicide” or “please go die” on this website is horrifying. I just saw post where someone said in the replies smth to the tune of “all TERFs should kill themselves”, and another person responded “I agree TERFs are awful but I’m not comfortable w/ telling people to kill themselves”, and the first person responded to stop with the “respectability politics”.

Respectability politics is about enforcing morally-neutral standards to appease reactionaries. Respectability politics is being anti-AAVE. Respectability politics is “no kink at pride”. Respectability politics is policing people’s physical appearance to ensure they “pass”. Respectability politics is NOT taking issue w/ an action on moral grounds.

I take issue with telling people to kill themselves bc I spend a good portion of my teens suicidal. I take issue with telling people to kill themselves bc I’ve known people who have, and so many more people who have tried. “Commit suicide” should NOT be a normalized part of discourse, or a stock response to people w/ shitty beliefs. I firmly believe you should never tell someone to kill themselves unless you would personally be comfortable killing them, bc you just might be.

There are people in this world who it would be morally grey (or even right) to assassinate. That group is relatively small, and does NOT include all people who have fallen into believing a harmful ideology. There are politically-active public figures out there intentionally spreading TERF misinformation to hurt trans people, and if a trans person wants to assassinate them, okay that’s not really my place to judge.

But there are also people, like an aunt of mine, who fall into the rabbit hole of misinformation because of a lack of access to resources like education—and who, when someone sits down w/ them and counters that misinformation and explains to them why that way of thinking is harmful, will be swayed and often then join the fight against the same rhetoric they once fell for. If someone had assassinated my aunt during the couple of years she spent as a TERF and a homophobe, before myself and my mother managed to get her out of that and before she became an active supporter of queer rights in her community in rural Kentucky, I would have a major problem w/ that.

So it really bothers me how many leftists on this platform tell people to kill themselves, and I don’t feel like “they have a facist belief” is a justification for that. No one is obligated to do the work of rescuing people from alt-right rabbit holes, and I have no problem w/ blocking/banning people or shouting at them not to interact bc of their beliefs, or even w/ lobbing all sorts of petty insults at them. But it should NOT be considered acceptable to encourage people to commit suicide, and that should NOT be treated the same as other sorts of online insults because it is absolutely not. And that’s not respectability politics; that’s caring about the basic value of human life and believing most people have the ability to be rehabilitated, and death is not an appropriate retribution for incorrect and harmful beliefs.

[piosplayhouse]

Holy absolute fuck for some reason this random ass post with pretty much zero relevant tags struck complete discourse shitfest rabbit hole GOLD so I'm taking you all on the wild journey I just experienced.

So this person who I've never seen in my life but seems to run a surface-level innocuous watercolor art blog commented this under this post:

I thought whatever, it is extremely contentious ongoing science that's still awaiting new developments and research results to this day. The papers do indeed address the fact that no solid research on the topic of whether or not it's antibiotics or birth conditions (or, likely, a mixture of both and many other factors as we know how life is) and even cite a variety of contradicting experiments to add depth to the research, but it's true that there is no One Truth in emerging science. I replied this:

rocksmorelikefood also replied to them with an extremely neutral and polite response informing them that the linked papers were not experimental, but reviews of other experimental data, meaning the authors themselves would not be in charge of the experiment design or control. They also reasserted that (hopefully) no one's having intestinal gestation babies there's wombs involved even if they connect to the ass

They replied with this extremely normal (/s to the maximum) response:

I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt at first but these replies definitely made me like. Huh. extremely weird hill to die on to claim these peer-reviewed scientific papers actually published in proven scientific journals are "publishing for the purpose of publishing".

I've known a lot of STEM people in my life and I have to say I don't think any of them have ever said "Fuck yes!! My favorite part of science, writing a 20 page long report to be submitted to a board of reviewers who will rigorously henpeck the work I've put blood, sweat, and tears into!" or such. Extremely suspicious anti-science stance for perhaps one of the most niche subjects in the world.

The further assertion that a fantasy mpreg uterus MUST share tissues with the intestine but they CAN'T because PEOPLE WOULD DIE was also so ??? You are the only person saying intestinal gestation I promise you no one else was thinking about that at all. Nobody, especially not the literal scientific papers here, brought that up except for you.

And then I realized. Are they making some sort of insane extrapolation that mpreg is a gateway to like. intestinal gestation surgery??? Do they seriously think scientific research into CIS WOMEN'S birthing methods will somehow lead to ?? A uterus made out of intestines??? What kind of American Mary shit is going on here

So then I did a one second tumblr search and, ladies and gentlethems, enjoy the insane rabbithole that is the controversial legacy of havekat / rad-bad-and-dangerous-to-know / have-a-hygge, a terfy artist with accusations of everything under the sun from being a radfem to scamming (it seems this also led to an event of terf infighting in which radfems began trying to get her kicked out of communities for scamming people? idk terfs hate her, normal people hate her, the world's against her basically and she's clearly learned nothing) to RACE-FAKING. Truly an insane tag to scroll through

Anyway, in summary, no matter how bad you feel about yourself sometimes always remember that you're a billion more times more dignified than this random ass pathetic terf with every controversy under the sun feeling so threatened by the mere notion of a fantasy man getting pregnant and giving birth out of his rectum for presumable kink reasons that you inadvertently make a whole new omegaverse biology concept while trying to reject genuine scientific research into, and I cannot stress this enough, CIS WOMEN and their circumstances around giving birth (you know, the thing that terfs love) on some low virality Tumblr post made by a niche fandom blog. Truly admirable.

when the biology assumes that the person would give birth via the asshole it breaks immersion for me and i stop reading simply because it makes NO sense for a species to give birth via a method that would expose their newborns to the germs in the asshole? (via the mpreg poll)

Um. I'm really really sorry to have to break this to you but there's actually a very heated and still ongoing scientific debate over whether or not children born via c-section have a higher risk of childhood immune-related disease due to lack of exposure to birth canal/adjacent fecal matter germ not populating their gut microflora

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4464665/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5050524/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0091674908009408

[persephinae]

Hi! The blog of venusleo1990 I went down a rabbit hole from the tweet reblog, and noticed the radfem tag a good deal. I think that may be a terf blog. Please double check, you don't have to post this, I just know you're careful about blocking them. There's always a chance I may be mistaken, in which case I apologise for the mistake .

I took a quick peek and it seemed kinda r*dfem lite so I blocked them.

The point still stands though so I'll leave it up to others what they want to do

I'll probably say this wrong but:

Unfortunately this brings up a very good point in that issues that affect people with uteruses are still valid despite t*rfs shitting on everything.

Women and other people with uteruses WILL die due to these draconian laws, poor people and woc will be hit hardest

This is a true statement and some people on tumblr and Twitter have taken to adopting "Well if a t*rf cares about an issue, it's wrong and we shouldn't talk about it"

And unfortunately that's not true. It is a very serious and valid issue to talk about things that impact women and people with uteruses, however t*rfs pervert that concern and actively use their platforms to harm all women (including those that fall out of their narrow and shitty view)

They actively recruit women because they prey upon that gray area between cis women, nb and trans women.

Intersectional feminism MUST embrace ALL concerns of women. Just as I would never truly understand what it's like for a black woman in america, I will never truly understand what it's like to be a trans woman. Or a disabled woman, etc.. ALL are important at the table, but the there are concerns and issues SPECIFIC to the different variations of womanhood, different variations to people with a uterus. But just as I must accept and fight for issues not my own, cis women also have VALID concerns.

T*rfs prey on that fear that cis women are being pushed out of spaces. (We're not)

But you see it ALL. THE. TIME. on social media, where people become zealous about saying The Right Things and Praising The Right(TM) People, that they horseshoe back around to misogyny, misogynoir, racism, and homophobia.

That's where purity culture ties in too, because people are more concerned about how they look to others than critically thinking.

I know I'm rambling, and thank you for letting me know. I do try to block shitty people and t*rfs when I see them, truly.

Unfortunately we are going to see an uptick in t*rfs using this latest tragedy as well and we're not going to be able to catch ALL of them

So I guess what I'm saying is that be warned about it but be aware that in the coming days it will probably be like whack a mole trying to get all of them, and be understanding that there are going to be times when they slip through

[hotpinkstaples]

not to be critical on main, but i think there is something to be said about the way some fandoms have become more and more monetized to the point where fancreator participation has skewed towards which fandoms are most profitable vs those who aren’t. there’s also definitely something to be said about fans who enter fandoms specifically because there’s money to be made through commissions, zine sales, patron solicitations, etc. it is even more ironic that many of these fans are being able to establish what is and isn’t morally consumable by driving out fancontent creators who create squicky content largely for free because content puritanism is more rampant largely due to the fandom participants being younger and thus much easier to manipulate with TERF rhetoric versus people who grew up in fandom and saw entire communities die out because of purges largely driven by predecessors of the current moral purity brigade.

then you look at the fandoms that just aren’t popular in general, with three people, a shoe string, and someone’s cat making up the audience, and the fancontent, tho minimal, is largely created for free and in service of building up and keeping together a community that’s always on the verge of disappearing because of reasons out of their control (eg. no new content, books only four people have read, tv shows that only aired in south asia and were watched by kids whose parents let them watch starplus with them, so on and so forth). 

and yet, even during the olden days (and i’ll go back as far as the early 2000s since that’s when i got involved in fannish activity), even larger fandoms with the most toxic of subsets (HP, shounen jump’s Big Three, early days of SPN, etc.) had an understanding that fandom participation was an act of free will and probably one of the last communities left where participation wasn’t charged an entry fee. you consumed, created, and reveled for free. for many people, it was a stepping stone into careers in original fiction and general artistry, while for others, it was a way to hobbetize skills that they were already using for their day jobs. fandom participation was, for even the largest of fandoms, an act of community participation because fandom, in its very essence, is a community made up of willing participants who can join and back out whenever they feel like it, a luxury that isn’t allowed in day-to-day life.

no real point to this rambling nonsense, but i be thinkin, y’know? i started off in the fannish space as a literal child, pretty much grew up participating in different fandoms during different milestones in my life, and now, almost twenty years after the first time i published a fanfic on ff.net, i see even the smallest of fandoms get infected by purity brigades touting friendship and magic, but like, these are the same characters that are sending out virtual mob hits because some clown shipped the wrong ship. markets are controlled with fear of persecution, and god forbid you post whacky content only you and two other people enjoy (shoutout to that one clown who decided to shame asta/liebe nation during the “is AMD asta’s pappy debacle,” i hope you have a truly awful day, and continue to have terrible, no good days!!). 

what happens when the clowns in their circus start to ship the wrong ships? and even begin to entertain the idea of a problematique concept for a piece of fanwork? are they gonna start persecuting thought crimes? i mean, i think we all know the answer to that *coughYES BC PURITY CULTS ARE SELF-CANNIBALIZING STRUCTUREScough* but like, it still perturbs me is all. you’d think creating and consuming for free would teach people to appreciate that in the real world, free consumption is a luxury few people can experience. but like, instead of being thankful that sulema from mexico is drawing amazing fanart for free, you got katherine from ohio telling you to cancel sulema cuz sulema likes to draws the totties huge. never mind that katherine will now be charging you $30 for a sketch of said character with modest tetas. they wont create for free, of course not, they’re broke and from ohio! now you gotta pay for some shit the homies from all over the world were creating for free cuz some loud white bitch said it’s problematique.

tl;dr: stop giving puriteens and moral purity brigade members your money and contributing to cult-like behaviors. read a book. go outside (with your mask). help your parents with their bills instead of stayed holed up in your room. maybe take a walk and think about what you’ll make for dinner instead of staking your entire personality/identity on whether or not fuegoleon is white and inbred.

[catfishofoldin99colours]

OK IM AWAKE and ive had coffee so im able to process thoughts

also spoilers for viking wolf below if you want to avoid them! (also this review will be talking about it as if you have seen the movie so its probably worth watching if you wanna follow along properly)

also if you’re a terf/radfem/’‘‘gender critical’‘‘ keep your filthy fucking mitts off this post and go die in a hole you wretch

my take on this film is that it Is disappointing, but in a meta-textual and textual way.

i find it disappointing because i think this film could have really said something about the estranged nature of the relationship between Thale and her mother, because the bones of it are There, there’s issues they have together and they’re barely friends at all, and it contrasts SO WELL with Thale’s relationship with Jenny which is just so gentle and sweet and tragic, Jenny is the only one to treat Thale like a friend who is NOT harmed by the narrative for it! she loves Thale and ‘will look after her’ and tries so hard and its such a contrast to the clear worry her mother feels but doesn’t exhibit or act upon until it’s too late.

i love werewolf stories because to me they are such a GOOD metaphor for the internal horrifying parts of ourselves that we hate and repress and that will not go away no matter what because they’re PART of us! what better way to portray anger and pain and internal suffering than as a monstrous beast you cannot control, that harms everyone you love as you lash out in pain and fury and is hunted to the ends of the earth for its existence? god what a metaphor, its insane that this folkloric creature exists and fits SO WELL with so many themes and motifs!!!

AND YET!! IT IS ALMOST NEVER USED THAT WAY!!!

i think viking wolf fails because it has the BONES of this structure and the makings of what could be a really interesting film about this, especially with the angle of Thale being the victim of the attack and subsequently becoming the werewolf. she’s angry and upset at her mother for what she feels is giving up on her dead father and moving them to a new town, and she’s trying to fit in so so hard but she’s bullied and scorned by her classmates, and even the classmate who treats her well wants something from her, as opposed to Jenny who just loves her as is. it says something that Thale tries to walk quietly past her stepdad and signs to Jenny that she’s sorry she can’t come tonight; and that Jenny takes her back inside to bed while her mother pushes into the bathroom as Thale is worried about her wound; she hides from the adults but is open and welcoming to Jenny, she trusts and loves Jenny because Jenny only wants to take care of her.

Thale is a girl who feels angry and violated by the world she is in - whether these are warranted feelings is irrelevant, to both her and the audience, because no one is listening to her and she does not feel safe or protected in her world. her only true comfort and friend is her stepsister who looks to be 15 at most and is deaf, and as such Thale *has* to become the monster that will fight back to protect herself. what young woman and/or afab person hasn’t felt like that in their lifetime! who among us of that social class in western society hasn’t felt as if we are alone and unprotected and must look after ourselves!! (TERFS GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKING HANDS OFF THIS POST YOU CUNTS)

and in the end, she is hunted and killed for it. her mother kills her, with the silver bullet as she sleeps, because the good of the town is what is more important to her than her own daughter’s life or wellbeing. this movie falls short in spending too much time building up to the horror of the wolf’s existence, when it should be about WHY the wolf needed to exist in the first place. the horror of this film is not that the wolf exists, the horror is that Thale had no one to rely on or trust and was killed for her emotion, at possibly the most vulnerable time of her life. there’s a reason many young women get pulled into cults and toxic relationships, and its because they don’t have support networks that allow them the safety of expressing anger and pain and hurt, and people talk over them and do not care for their whereabouts (and this goes EVEN MORE for women of colour).

the horror is that her mother does not love her enough to let her live. she does not love her enough to try and make it better. she cries and frets and muses that she can’t shoot her own daughter, but in the end she does load the gun, she does pull the trigger, she is the one who kills her. and given that her mother is a police officer, i think it says something that the police do not have your safety in their interest, especially if you are a vulnerable person. if you express frustration at the pain your world is causing, you are punished for it, for the good of the fragile ‘peace’ they work hard to fabricate. i don’t think the film intended for that message to come through, but it absolutely does.

what a horrifying thing, to have a mother who does not love you.

what a horrible thing, to have a mother.

viking wolf is about a girl scorned, hurt and angry that is silenced for her pain, for the good of a town that does not care for her. and that is the true horror of this story.

it is 9 o'clock at night on a Monday and I am watching a Norwegian horror film about a werewolf

[vexus-u]

Anti discourse is eating fandom from the inside-out at the moment. This sort of thing is everywhere in the past few years, because the minority of people who gun hard for that sort of thing are so widespread, self-assured, and so ready to drop vile accusations at the drop of a hat that they are almost impossible to ignore.

I feel like a lot of people see this going on but don’t want to talk about it or comment on it, because they’ve seen the sort of fire that can be drawn if you don’t toe the line absolutely. People skirt the issue, or avoid talking about it, because really, who does want to deal with that whole mess? Who wants to risk the backlash? And then there are the folks who haven’t engaged closely enough to see through the buzzwords; the people who see a post that proclaims that it’s condemning “real pedophiles”, and like any outsider rightly would, thinks, “oh God, that’s awful!” and clicks reblog.

It’s a good camouflage, maybe even the best. I feel like these people might even have one-upped the TERF posts claiming to rail against misogyny, but by analogy at least I think people can be shown what’s really going on.

If we are going to make fandom a safer and less toxic place, I think we need to start facing this behavior head-on and stop averting our gaze as a community. As an individual it’s hard, I know. But there are real world consequences; self harm, mental illness, and suicide attempts (believe me when I say that I know from experience), that cannot be swept aside as easily as antis/fandom police can proclaim that anyone who disagrees with them simply deserves to die. If you’ve ever had tangential contact with that sort of discourse and have internalized what these people say as the norm, I think it would benefit you to take a step back and realize how unhealthy a mentality that is to have. It’s easy to denounce anyone who questions you as a degenerate unworthy of life. Makes things a lot easier for you, but I think that we all know where that can lead.

If you are reading this and truly are unaware of what I’m talking about, let me give you a brief run-down. I don’t have the time or the stomach to jump into this discourse as deep as the rabbit-hole goes, but I will give some context as to where I am speaking from. I am a queer woman with clinical OCD. So called anti-shipping/anti-fic/fandom purity discourse started appearing in my sphere round about four years ago, and pretty much nothing since has been as dangerous to my mental health. I cannot begin to sum up how much self-hate and anguish this sort of gaslighting has resulted in for me, but let me tell you, it’s been bad. My compulsion to deal with this sort of thing tends to manifest as anxious research, and so, trust me. I know what I’m talking about here.

Namely, if you are a complete outsider, there is a school of thought that has taken root in certain younger fan communities, among groups that feel like they lack control over the world at large. As fandom is often the main community that these folks have (I counted myself among that crowd), this frustration has evolved into an reactionary ideology that takes ideas about the cultural impact of fictional works in our society to ludicrous, absurd extremes.

Ideas about poor portrayals having the potential to convey negative ideas to a reader have evolved into the creation of a code of morals that frames any interaction with fiction as a form of moral advocacy for that which it contains. Shipping is reframed as an expression of beliefs about desirable relationship dynamics. Depictions of abuse are reframed as advocacy for abuse. The concept of romanticization, which usually is only applied to ideas in the context of otherwise contextless mainstream works without prior warnings, is transformed into an indictment of any depiction of any that could be perceived as harmful which is not followed by an explicit condemnation of said act. This becomes even more absurd when you consider that these attacks are often aimed at fanfiction which has already been tagged with explicit warnings for the reader. Always invoked to justify this is the spectre of “negative influence on the children”, but this is both neither the responsibility of random internet users operating in adult-tagged spaces, and also, as with the video game violence scare of the 90s, mostly unjustified fearmongering.

Perhaps even worse, this logic is extended to fictional elements that might be thought to recall certain negative ideas in the mind of the reader. Short characters are, fairly offensively, dubbed “child-coded”, and it is verboten to include them in any adult works. Similarly, adult AUs of younger characters which include sexual content are condemned simply because the characters concerned were initially portrayed by a different author as younger! This leads into a deeper rabbit hole, where fictional characters, who are plot figments with no “real” version or portrayal, are effectively reframed as if they were actual people, who can be harmed by the way that they are portrayed in fanfic. In some extreme fringe cases, I have actually seen this been expressed literally; by invocation of alternate realities in which fiction is real, or through otherkin.

These people will claim glibly that they are fighting against real abusers, and who would want to hear what a dirty abuser might say in response? But don’t be fooled. This lens is almost solely turned back on people in fandom communities who are most vulnerable, and is driven by an underlying fear of sex, sexuality, queer expression, and perceived “degeneracy”. Any slight excuse to construe a transformative work as impure is taken as license to reframe the author or artist as scum, and therefore worthy of the harassment they will ultimately receive. Tellingly, the most affected groups are often queer women, and this sort of thing can and does destroy lives and careers. Moreover, the vicious cycle of social pressure and retribution for stepping out of line ensures that this toxic ideology holds people who step into it in its grip, lest they be expunged from their communities. Sight is lost of the fact that, at the end of the day, all that the perpetrator is guilty of is creating fanwork that some people might find distasteful.

There’s a lot more to say which I won’t, but I will stress again that the harm that this sort of thing is doing cannot be underestimated. It’s an insidious and toxic mode of thought that seeps into communities through the buzzwords it leverages - accuse somebody of being a pedophile and people pay attention! But these words are being misused, and this discourse distracts from actual predators even as it is cause for unjustified targets to be suicide baited, driven from fandom spaces, and vindictively destroyed. People who already suffer from mental health issues, and especially anxiety disorders such as OCD, can be driven to self-destruction by the repeated accusations and gaslighting. We need to remind people that these behaviors are not normal, are not the righteous causes they present themselves as, and are not tolerated. In fandom communities particularly, I honestly believe that this issue is one of the most insidious and dangerous that we currently face. Fandom has become nominally progressive, at the expense of trojan horse ideologies such as the anti/purity discourse positioning themselves as too risky to shout down.

I think it is time to stop turning a blind eye, recognize what is happening in our communities, deradicalize the people who are responsible for the harassment, and try to fix some of the damage that has already been done.

[a-method-in-it]

So, I was going to write this as a response to this excellent post by @iamtypinglike98madmen about the JKR/trans rights/Harry Potter convo, and then it got super long and I realized I’d be hijacking that post. So I made it a standalone. Here goes:

Harry Potter is one of my favorite works of fantasy of all time, and it will probably remain as such. I love it deeply and profoundly, and probably always will, honestly.

But importantly, I don’t love it because it’s perfect, nor would I ever pretend such a thing. It’s not perfect. It has holes -- ranging from little things like “If there were only, like, ten kids in Harry’s Griffindor class, then that means there are only like 280 students in this whole damn school which just doesn’t seem right and clearly JKR just didn’t want to invent a lot of tertiary characters to eat up page time which was a valid artistic choice but is also really funny when you think about it” to big things like “Harry definitely has PTSD in Book 5, which no one seems to notice and which seems to get cured by...seeing his godfather die? Someone explain this please???”

It also has regressive ideas baked in. There's bad representation (Cho Chang is not a real name any human would ever have); cultural stereotypes (Durmstrang and Boubatons being great examples); racially coded fantasy creatures like the goblins; and a total lack of queer people. And that’s just the beginning, really. There is a lot wrong with Harry Potter.

I don’t love it because it’s perfect. I love it because some of my favorite memories as a kid are reading those books. I love it because it felt like a whole wondrous world to me as a child, long before I saw the flaws or the holes. I love it because it grabbed hold of my imagination around age eight and never let go. I love it because it taught me a lot of good things, and explored a lot of ideas and concepts that I am better for having been introduced to as a child. I love it because it has brought me so much joy over the years.

That joy is personal, though. For people who have been hurt by Harry Potter and/or JKR, for people who don’t connect with the books or can’t anymore, that is totally valid. I would never presume that my experience is yours.

For me personally, I think it is good and healthy for us to talk about JKR and the biases that have clearly bled into her works (I’m also a fan of the Robert Galbraith books and this shit bleeds into those, too, though in very different ways). You can’t fully divorce the work and the author. But neither should they define each other. JKR can’t try to absolve herself of her very real biases and bigoted views by hiding behind a book with social justice themes. Harry Potter can’t be robbed of its good qualities by JKR mouthing off on Twitter.

The bad things about Harry Potter don’t cancel out the good. The good things about Harry Potter do not cancel out the bad. Literature is not a bank balance sheet, where all that matters is the net positive or negative at the end of the page. It all exists. It all interacts. It all means something. We as readers must navigate those meanings and come up with an interpretation.

So it’s good for us to talk about this. And how those conversations affect your relationship with the Harry Potter series is personal and individual, and all resulting reactions are valid. You don’t need permission to stop liking something -- or to have never liked something to begin with. You don’t need permission to go on loving something that is imperfect.

If there is one thing that I hope comes from this episode, it is that more people become comfortable saying, “I love this work dearly and get so much out of it, but good GOD does it have flaws.” 

It feels comforting and safe to treat the things you love as perfect and to only love perfect things. But this will only leave you with the impossible choice of either ruthlessly abandoning things that you love in the name of purity or resolutely pretending imperfect things are perfect. It is an approach doomed to failure from the start. 

And it robs you of the meaningful experience of reflecting on why you feel a certain way about a work and allowing your feelings to evolve and become more complex. 

I do not feel the same about Harry Potter as I did when I was eight. There is some sadness to that, but I don’t feel the same way about almost anything today as I did when I was eight. 

It’s not okay that JK Rowling is a TERF. It’s not okay to try to ignore or deny that fact. Instead, we can and should choose to make thoughtful decisions about how to let that knowledge inform our relationship with her works. It sucks that we have to. But we will be better for having done it. 

[funny-mxrp]

A letter and apology to the rping community

I really wanted to kick this blog off with a more lighthearted post, but I feel like before I can move on and even get back into the rping scene there is something very important I need to explain and a really big apology is in order.

I used to be badparp. Yes, I used to run that blog where I would roast people for being rude to other rpers. You know the one.

Anyway, there are a lot of rumors going around about me right now. Some of them are true and some of them are not. I am going to tell the story of what actually happened and the circumstances surrounding everything. I need to come clean about all of it.

Keep in mind my memories from this time are a bit hazy because there are a lot of things my brain is closing me off from remembering about that time period, but I remember what went down mostly and I remember the bad things I did and how I wronged the rping community.

When I got into the rping community hard I was 17 years old at the time. It was the worst year of my life and I was coming to terms with a lot of things. I had freshly developed trauma that would later become PTSD and I was forced to go live with my abusive parent who would starve me, emotionally abuse me, and sometimes beat me.

I was also slowly starting to come to terms with my gender, but I had not fully realized what it was yet. This led to me getting harassed online constantly by TERFs who would send me death threats and suicide bait me when I already wanted to die so badly.

I was also trying to figure out my sexuality at the time. This led to me experimenting A LOT. I was looking up porn constantly and I was also trying to figure out what kinks I did or did not have. Previously I had been in a more healthy situation to do it with love and support, but because I was shoved into living with an abuser who did not care about me at all as anything but a punching bad and a servant, I closed myself off and was forced to experiment largely on my own with only the help of a few other teenagers that were not...the most informed.

This led me into getting into NSFW rping as a teenager. I did not know it was wrong at the time because no one had told me and no one would tell me for years, but I still did it.

And I got good at it. I got attention. I got people that actually thought I could do well and that I was good at something. After being told to die so much for my gender stuff and after being abused at home, this felt good in ways that are unimaginable. I absolutely drank up the attention. I kept pushing myself more and more and trying out kinks that were things I was uncomfortable with, but willing to force myself to do so that I would gain the respect of other rpers and I could keep getting the attention and praise I was missing in my life. I kept telling myself it was ok. It was an rp so it was ok right?

Other rpers started contacting me. Other rpers started soliciting me for things. But there were some people that did not like my rps and often rightfully called me on my stuff. This made me absolutely enraged because how dare they insult the thing that was giving me the only positive attention in my life. How dare they?

These people were what others were calling SJWs at the time. The same people also would call the TERFs SJWs. I figured that these people were just like them and that I should fight them because they were bad and evil and lashed out at people and hated them. Some of them took things way too far and that pretty much cemented in my young traumatized mind that these people were the bad guys and I should hate people like them.

So it pulled me down another rabbit hole and I became an edgy anti SJW. I would lash out and get into drama constantly. The drama made me feel like I could be right about something in the world when I was constantly being told that I was wrong.

Along the way I started making friends that were also anti SJWs. Some of them were good people that were misguided like I was. Some of them were wolves in sheep's clothing trying to convert people to the right.

At one point I joined a group of fellow NSFW rper anti SJWs. This was the point where the coercing me into NSFW rps started to get very focused and very disturbing even if I couldn’t see it at the time.

These people absolutely knew I was an underage rper. They told me there was nothing wrong with it and I was ok. They kept encouraging me to do more and more of it. I kept sending them links to my private blog where they could read my rps. These were adults. These were adults and they absolutely knew what they were doing. I was being groomed and I had no idea because I had always assumed being groomed meant having to send nudes and stuff. I was cocky and I thought I was safe.

They also kept egging me on with more and more drama and getting deeper and deeper into the anti SJW community. I would get angry more often. I would keep being more and more sympathetic to fucked up right wing views. I would fight constantly. And it hurt. It hurt so badly. But I needed it. I needed to feel good again and feel like I was right. Just like I needed the praise I got from my rps.

It kept going like this for a while. I kept getting worse and worse and going more and more down.

It only started to change when I met someone that could pull me out of it. He didn’t attack me. He didn’t accuse me of being a terrible person and tell me to go die. He calmly talked to me and he listened. As he listened he started to slowly become my voice of reason, asking me questions about whey I thought certain things were true.

As I kept talking to him, I started to question things too. I started to question if what was happening was really ok. If it was really right. I started to engage less and less in drama. The more I pulled away the better I started to feel because I actually had someone to support me and care about me now that was not as confused as I was.

It eventually got the the point where I realized that I had legitimately been a horrible person. I felt crazy amounts of guilt over what happened and I decided to delete all of my blogs because I didn’t want to be that person anymore. The person who ran badparp and justified really messed up things and always wanted attention and drama was dead. I was an adult and I wasn’t an edgy teenager anymore.

I spent a few more years feeling horrific guilt over what happened. There were countless people that I must have said horrible things to and I had unwillingly become a tool to spread a narrative to the community that was wrong, but I had still done it and I could not undo that.

It’s been a very long time though. I am getting therapy now. I am away from my abuser. I am happily married to the person that saved me from who I used to be and pulled me out of the horrible pit I was slowly being dragged down into that was turning me into a monster.

I don’t fight anyone online anymore. I don’t like fighting with people at all anymore at all. I no longer consider myself an anti SJW and I no longer defend the awful things that I did back then. I am slowly starting to heal.

But Homestuck and the good not toxic rps that I did have will always have a special place in my heart and I don’t think I can ever get rid of that.

So this blog is my apology to the community and the fandom for the person I was back then and I want it to be proof that people can change and rping does not have to be about toxicity, drama, and fighting. The more people fight the more people like me back then will be driven into the arms of people that want to hurt them.

I want this to be a happy lighthearted blog where people can post funny rps that they have and share them with others. I want to promote a new mindset for rping that is about something good.

I can’t undo the things I did or said, but I can try to change and be a better person and build something new.

[shadowsunflowers]

Thanks for the tag @minervas-sandwich

Formatting this was so hard lmao so sorry if the order is f'ed up or if some questions are missing

What do you prefer being called name wise?

Your best bet is to go with Lea tbh.

When is your birthday?

I'm a pisces!

Where do you live?

Germany

Three things you're doing right now?

Watching korra, eating lasagna and this

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

Avatar the last Airbender, supernatural, doctor who and stardew valley

How has the pandemic been treating you?

It didn't affect me that much tbh. We're not leaving the house much anyway. It has put stress on us though, because let's face it: a pandemic isn't easy to deal with mentally. But we don't have anything to complain about though. We're kinda lucky I guess.

A song you can't stop listening to right now?

It's a German song but I love it

Rest meines Lebens - KUMMER ft. Max Raabe

Translated it means "rest of my life". And it tackles the feeling of depression as you grow older and how it's slowly getting "too late to die young" but it ends on a positive note, leaving hope that maybe getting old isn't so bad after all.

How old are you?

22

Biggest pet peeves?

-being mean for no reason

-littering

-yelling to try and win an argument

-yelling in general

-I'm sure there's more but in general JUST DON'T BE AN ASSHAT and we'll probably get along nicely

School, university, occupation, other?

Currently in school to become a curative educater or special ed teacher (I don't think there's an exact translation of the job title)

Are you shy?

Yes but also no. Life as a system ya know? ^^

Pronouns?

If you wanna talk about us as a system they/them plural (lmao I put singular in before which is false)

And then it just gets complicated.

Probably just ask who you're talking to?

What is your favorite "dere" type?

Uhh I had to Google and then I took a quiz what dere type I am and it said tsundere.

I watched a couple of popular animes like the studio ghibli movies and sword art online and Elfenlied (Google the English name yourself please I'm not up for that rn lmao) but tbh I'm not a big anime nerd. I enjoy watching some of them but I am in no way informed about it

Rate your life from one to ten. 1=crappy, 10=best it could be

I guess a 5 or 6? We're struggling with our mental health a lot but if we put that aside we're pretty fortunate.

What's your main blog?

This one

List your side blogs and what they're for?

All right lmao

@leaspoems

As it says it's for my poems but be careful because there could be some triggering themes in there. I tried to trigger warn in the tags but I'm not very good at it I think.

@snowfallsystem

Our DID themed blog where we sometimes write posts about it ourselves or just reblog mental health related stuff. It's only active in phases tbh

Is there something people should know before become friends with you?

-well we're a system so that's noteworthy lmao

-be kind

-if we don't text back for a while we probably forgot or are in a depression hole

-if you're racist, sexist, a terf, ableist or any other discriminatory thing please just stay away if you don't want to talk aboutwhy what you're thinking /saying /doing is wrong

-also to any of my followers or people who stumble over my blog or posts of mine : PLEASE TELL ME NICELY WHEN SOMETHING I'VE SAID OR REBLOGGED IS DISCRIMINATORY IN ANY WAY. We want to grow and be as inclusive as possible and that's only possible through nice discourse.

I got tagged to do this by @terudai, tysm dude you rock! <3

Rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better.

What do you prefer to be called name-wise? Tim, but some of my friends call me Timmy or Weedle and I like those too :3

When is your birthday?: March 7th!

Where do you live?: The UK (unfortunately)

Three things you’re doing right now: Listening to a Doctor Who audio drama, eating chocolate I got for Christmas and messing about on the internet

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest: Doctor Who (obviously), Steven Universe (also obviously), Bee & Puppycat and even if I’ve been much more on-and-off with it this year I’m definitely still into South Park

How has the pandemic been treating you?: Not the worst in some ways bc my parents have been able to put me up and financially support me, but I’ve only been able to find work for pretty brief periods, I can’t reallly move out and I really, really miss getting to see my friends and go to cons and stuff. So like, financially not too bad but psychologically pretty bad :(

A song you can’t stop listening too right now: Stripsearch by Faith No More

How old are you: 23, gonna be 24 in March and god I feel old whenever I remember that

School, university, occupation, other: Well I kinda have a job- I’ve been doing freelance writing, and I’ve started helping run the social media and produce resources for a charity. I really hope once Covid finally blows over I can go and get a job that involves interacting with people irl again though

Are you shy?: It kinda depends how comfortable I am around someone, if I know someone well rarely ever but if not (or if I’m worried I upset them) I clam up big time

Pronouns: They/them

Biggest pet peeves: I guess the main one that really gets to me is people being condescending about people who like stuff they don’t. You’re not an inherently better person because you don’t like Hamilton or whatever mate

What is your favourite ‘dere’ type?: I literally had to look up what they all are and ig I’ll go with nyandere cause cats are neat :p (I did have a big Mirai Nikki phase but honestly it was in spite of Yuno always trying to kill Yukki iirc, so I can’t really say yandere)

Rate your life from 1 to 10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be: Like the corona thing I’m gonna divide this into financially and psychologically- financially I’d say about a 7, psychologically more like a 3

What’s your main blog: this one! I don’t really do side blogs lol

List your side blogs and what they’re for: like I said I only have a main

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?: Well the obvious one is if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me so I don’t keep doing it. Don’t try and shittalk things I like to me or tell me I shouldn’t like them, or my opinion of you will go into freefall. And since I like a lot of stuff that’s kinda Problematic ™, I’d appreciate if you ask me not to talk about or reference things you don’t like to you if it makes you uncomfortable so we can focus on stuff we both like talking about instead, I don’t mind at all!

I tag @thepaledivinebear @reesecomic13 @pablothefrog @ness-marsh @minervas-sandwich @ninjacupcake @bi-lars and anyone else who wants to do this! c:

[musingsfromtheclosetofanunk-blog]

A Small Sample Size

Okay, so jumping a bit into discourse and then hopefully leaving it forever because something just pissed me off so much in every way.

There was a post reblogged a while ago by an account I really liked, no I am not currently following them, that showed four or five screen shots of singular comments, so five comments at a maximum, of people who were supposedly asexual (and I say supposedly because the people never themselves stated they were asexual in the posts) that were insulting the Pulse shooting and saying something along the lines of “well it’s no great loss” and implying it was because no one at the Pulse shooting was asexual. The blogger then added the phrase “no wonder people hate asexuals” and listen, listen. Fuck. You.

Let me tell you why. (First off, yes those people are fucking horrible and fuck the people who wrote that too because goddamn. How can you say that about LGBT+/MOGAI people??? How can you say that about people in general??? Fuck you for saying anyone one deserves to die like that.) But why it pisses me off is because you are taking these few people and excusing literally everything done to the larger asexual community. You wanna play this game? Then you better be fucking ready to hate on every fucking person you’ve ever met. 

How many people from the greater LGBT+/MOGAI group has ever told asexuals that they deserve to be raped or killed because  “hey you aren’t going to reproduce anyway” or anything along those lines? How many people have told bisexuals they’re just confused? How many people have fought over pan vs bi and said on group or the other was disgusting/deserved death etc? How many times have trans people been told they aren’t valid and are only that way because of trauma or confusion or mental illness? How many times have nb folk or genderfluid or another group been told they don’t actually exist and stop being “special snowflakes”?

and if you’re now thinking “well yes that’s what the straight people do, not anyone else” take a minute to fucking go through the discourse tags or fuck ea lot of the times even the positivity tags. You’ll see LGBT+/MOGAI people tearing each other a part. Trans binary people tear into nonbinary and the other way around. Lesbian and gay people tear into bisexual and vice versa. Bisexual and Pansexual people tear into each other. Hell look at the word TERF and others used to actual describe this type of behaviour. 

If you’re going to take the logic from above and say “hey ya asexuals do deserve all the shit they get” then FUCK YOU YOU SMALL MINDED POPSICLE STAND OF DIPSHITTERY. Stop taking one extreme bit of the group and look at the bigger picture. Maybe even step the fuck away from Tumblr or follow/unfollow a few people. 

Because let me tell you, I’ve almost fallen into a similar hole. One where you start to think all the anger and ranting and hatred on Tumblr is all there is to see in the world. It isn’t. Even on Tumblr you just need to follow a few different people to leave that world behind. Everything changes depending on who you are following. 

So please, please, please remember that every community has assholes and every community has bad people, but those communities are also filled with amazing people. And for the love of all of existence, remember that behind all of these posts are actual people. you are talking and communicating with actual people. The person who rebloged that post told a whole group of people that they deserve hate and death threats and rape threats (and often times it doesn’t end at threats) because of five fucking posts they saw on Tumblr. 

To those people who do this, sincerely, Fuck You.