musingsfromtheclosetofanunk-blog

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Inktober Day 13 - Ash

shhhh I know soot and ash aren’t the same thing don’t @ me

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puff pastry week! got me highest grade in pastry lab yet, it’s pear jalousie and apple turnovers 

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I’m so ready for Halloween so I drew my cat 🎃

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Day 13 - Bat

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me: (googling) snake bite leg what to do

google: elevate and apply pressure

me: (lifting snake real high) apologize or else

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centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

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Tony: [annoyed with Deadpool]… Are you gonna kill him?

Bucky: If I tell you, it’s premeditated.

Tony: Smart! I love you!

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Satan is the only valid Twitter account

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I am the master of this Goose Game. As such, my first decree as monarch of this village was removal of all anti goose propaganda. 

However, this sign was unmovable as this lady is very RUDE. I did my best efforts to hide her sign. 

Unfortunately, she refuses to accept me as her one and true Monarch. This is blatantly disrespectful. I will be stealing all of her things at a later date. 

All other signs have been removed by force, as the town has yet to comply to my recent decree (i.e. I can do whatever I want.) Updates to be posted as they come about. This world is mine. 

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Cat, what do you suggest for someone who had a really bad day?

worry not for im know somebeody whom is expert in vanquishinge bad days

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The Roots & ‘Shrooms Gang is really gearin’ up for Halloween now! Get ready, because over the next couple weeks, they’ll be showcasing their Halloween sweaters, decorations around the house, and their prepping for costumes and their big bash on Halloween night. Today we have three gorgeous ladies in their holiday wear, and like the pillow they are posing near, they truly are best witches. Miss Ashleaf, Miss Kizzle, and Miss Fernadette are having a blast. Fernadette is in a spiders and cobwebs sweater with her witchy little hat, Ashleaf is in her fuzzy ghost attire and her pretty ladies’ hat, and then Miss Kizzle, who wasn’t sure that sweaters were her thing for Halloween, borrowed Miss Morley’s dress from last year. Morley won’t need the dress, as you will see in upcoming posts, for she has a couples sweater with her husband Halfred. These rootlings really get into the Halloween spirit! XD

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One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

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Chameleon Babies That Will Make You Fall In Love With Lizards.

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Hanngram

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When you see a really good post but there’s some form of guilt tripping to reblog it added on at the end

(ID: A screenshot of Marge from the Simpsons looking dismally at the camera with one arm raised. A caption underneath her reads “It’s true, but I’m not reblogging it.” End ID)