#A Real Pal || King Dice

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: 2 Fisted Tales

Stephen King: hey patricia is it true you used to write comics? Patricia Highsmith: [long cigarette drag] Highsmith: who told you that

King: well, i just heard- Highsmith: was it stan lee? Highsmith: musta been stan lee Highsmith: never met a cat who talked so much Highsmith: might as well be a dame with all the yap yap yappin

Dean Koontz: wowwwww did you really meet stan lee, patricia? Highsmith: yeah Koontz: wowwww! what was that like? [flashback] Stan Lee: hey there comics fans its me, stan lee Lee: how bout a date? Highsmith: no dice

Poe: steve King: i just thought she'd like to tell us about her Poe: steve Poe: just no Poe: no King: ok fine Barker: i'm gonna hear the comic story Poe: CLIVE NO

King: ah but patricia i think we'd all like to hear a comics story Patricia Highsmith: i ain't gonna tell no comic story King: well maybe I can't convince you King: but I bet I know someone who can! Alan Moore: [appearing in a flash] who dares summon the arch magus? King: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus! Koontz: the arch magus!

Moore: speak! what boon ask ye of the arch magus? King: hey alan you've worked in comics King: how about you tell patricia that comics aren't stupid Moore: Moore: i cannot tell her that

Moore: comics are the bane of my existence! a curse upon them! Highsmith: now this guy, this guy i like Highsmith: he's got a real noodle in his noggin Moore: the arch magus would do well to hear your counsel, mortal Highsmith: sure, we could jaw a bit

Highsmith: how you feel about snails, archmagus? Moore: be these your familiars? Highsmith: "familiars" Highsmith: listen to this cat

Highsmith: ok fine you mooks wanna hear about my comics Highsmith: i'll tell ya Highsmith: but only cuz i'm here among bros Highsmith: long as its just dudes Highsmith: cuz these stories Highsmith: they get a little rough Highsmith: and you know how dames are

Highsmith: so this story's just for us dudes Highsmith: so franz Franz Kafka: what? Highsmith: you gotta go Kafka: huh? what? Kafka: why? Highsmith: you just gotta go Kafka: i don't understand Barker: oh my god franz get a clue Poe: clive

Highsmith: submitted for the approval of the midnight pals Highsmith: i call this the tale of the crime puncher Highsmith: it's about this real swole square headed guy who punches criminals Highsmith: pow! punch! bam! Highsmith: that's what comics are all about

Highsmith: so there're these 2 palookas who fight crime Highsmith: named steve and ploopie Barker: i'm sorry what Highsmith: steve and ploopie Barker: steve and WHAT Highsmith: what, you got cabbage in your ears? ploopie Barker: Barker: i'm sorry WHAT

Highsmith: anyway steve and ploopie gotta do some punching Barker: there's a lot of punching in these stories Highsmith: that's what kids want in comics Barker: huh sure yeah Barker: Barker: i'm sorry steve and WHAT Poe: let it go, clive

Highsmith: so this world war i playing ace crashes into a polish swamp Highsmith: when he dies, it creates a big mud monster Highsmith: who goes to america to harass some kid for his model air plane Barker: i'm starting to see why you didn't want to tell these stories Poe: CLIVE

Highsmith: i didn't just do action comics tho Highsmith: i wrote educational ones too Highsmith: like the two-fisted tales of oliver cromwell Highsmith: or don't mess with galileo Highsmith: or catherine the great takes out the trash

King: why didn't you stick with comics, patricia? Patricia Highsmith: eh you know how the comics biz is King: but I've heard its actually a growth industry Highsmith: is that so King: yeah they tell me that there's lots of opportunities in comics for girls Highsmith: ugh pass

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #343: Charlemagne

today on Grailfinders we’ve got a king so nice we made him twice, it’s Charlemagne, back at it again! this time he’s in D&D, so he’s a Devotion Paladin to be upstanding and noble but in a distinctly different way than the knights of the round, as well as a Hexblade Warlock to gain more power the cooler you are. we also dabble in Fighter just a bit so you can fight just as well one-handed as you can two, and also for a more joyeusse ordre, but we’ll get into that later.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: GOOD GRIEF HE’S NAKED

Ancestry & Background

Charlie is obviously a Human, but he also has a riding skill so let’s give him a Mark of Passage, why not. that gives him +2 Charisma, +1 Strength, Courier’s Speed for an extra five feet of movement, and Intuitive Motion for a bonus d4 on all dexterity and land vehicle checks. on the magical side of things, you can cast misty step once a day for free for some Magical Passage, and you gain Spells of the Mark, adding a few extra spells to your paladin spell list- check those out in the character sheet for more info.

you are, of course, a Noble, giving you proficiency in History and Animal Handling bc we’re taking persuasion from your class. boom, riding skill complete and we’re not even one level in.

Ability Scores

first up, make your Charisma as high as you can- they go on and on about Chuck’s charisma in his bio, and it’ll take care of just about everything in this build eventually. after that is your Dexterity. if you’re going to do cool stuff, you need to not fall flat on your face afterwards. third is Strength, partly for multiclassing, partly so you can be a good knight even without your paladins backing you up. that means your Constitution is a bit lower than I’d like, but that’s why you have a targetable invuln. your Intelligence is neutral- I didn’t really have a lot to go on there, but your Wisdom is definitely in the negatives. you based your power on something as open-ended as “doing cool stuff”, and hanging out with astolfo and roland long enough would warp anyone’s common sense.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: you don’t have to be a paladin to be the king of them, but it certainly helps, especially since it gives you proficiency in Persuasion and Religion, as well as Wisdom and Charisma saves! demons love using those, so make sure to stock up!

you also get a divine sense, so you’ll see any demons coming, as long as you spend a resource every two turns to check. its not good, but you’re not using those resources for anything else, so why not? throw out a ping erry once in a while.

you can also lay on hands to help a pal(adin) out, providing a bit of healing when you slap someone! remember: if they’re about to take a dirt nap, give ‘em a bap. that’s the furioso way!

2. paladin 2: at second level you get great weapon fighting, letting you re-roll 1s and 2s on damage dice from two-handed weapons. you’re gonna see a lotta them real soon whenever you use your divine smite to add a bunch of radiant damage to your sword. of course those don’t come free! you gotta use your spell slots, and those only recharge on long rests! you also prepare spells each day, so you don’t have to worry about picking the exact right ones- we recommend gishy spells like expeditious retreat and jump from your mark spells, or smite-y spells like searing smite or divine favor! outside of his “do cool stuff to charge up” thing, chuckie’s a pr basic dnd paladin.

3. paladin 3: at third level your devotion to devotion makes you a devotion paladin! you add protection from evil & good and sanctuary to your spell list- neither of them are quite invulnerabilities, but they’re nice shields you can plop onto your allies or yourself if u want. you can also channel divinity, doing one cool thing a short rest, either making a sacred weapon or turning the unholy. the first turns your sword into a cool glowy sword for a minute, adding your charisma to its damage, shining light, and making it magical. the latter forces fiends and undead to run away for a minute if they fail a wisdom save! paladins are already pretty good at dealing with devils and zombies, but sometimes you get stuck in a crowd, yknow?

4. paladin 4: we wont need strength forever, but we do need it now, so bump up that with your first ability score improvement! now you hit things harder! yep… yeah that’s the whole level. you can keep reading on now.

5. Paladin 5: at fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each action, as well as second level spells! your freebies are Lesser Restoration and Zone of Truth, though I also like your mark spell Misty Step. move so fast it’s like you’re teleporting! just be sure you let them know it’s nothin’ personnel, kid.

6. Paladin 6: sixth level paladins get an Aura of Protection, so everyone within 10’ of you gets to add your charisma bonus to every save they make! you’re so cool you make jumping out of the way of a fireball look easy!

7. Paladin 7: seventh level devotion paladins have an Aura of Devotion, so now nobody near you can get charmed either. so whatever’s going on with Astolfo and roland isn’t magic, I guess.

8. Warlock 1: speaking of those two, we need to make a deal with them to power up your sword, making you a Hexblade Warlock. when you strike this bargain, you can put a Hexblade’s Curse on someone nearby that lasts a minute, giving you bonus action on all damage rolls, all attacks crit on 19s and 20s, and when they die you regain HP. all for the cost of one bonus action once per short rest! if you know somebody’s tough you just have to put more effort into being cool, and suddenly you’re a lot stronger. you’re also a Hex Warrior now, so you can turn a one-handed or versatile weapon into your chosen weapon, letting you attack using your charisma instead of your strength.

finally, you get another round of Spells, with weird warlock slots to boot. you can cast paladin spells with these or vice-versa, but they don’t mix in terms of figuring out what levels you can cast at. Eldritch Blast is our noble phantasm, but we also get Sword Burst to do a cool trick like spinning, Expeditious Retreat to free up some paladin prep slots, and Comprehend Languages because I couldn’t really think of any other first level spells we need, and that’s a jesus-y sort of thing to have available.

9. Warlock 2: second level warlocks can use Eldritch Invocations to customize their class, so now you can Distort Value to make your armor shiny and gold, but you can also turn your eldritch blasts into Agonizing Blasts, adding your charisma bonus to each hit. (technically you get two invocations but we’re swapping one next level so don’t get too attached.)

as for why we made a cantrip our NP, it’s simple- thanks to agonizing blast, your hexblade’s curse, and a third thing we’re getting later, your NP will wildly change in damage potential depending on how hard you’re trying to fight something. right now you get a total of two lasers each turn, with each blast’s damage either dealing 1d10+3 or 1d10+7 damage, which is a pretty big swing.

10. Warlock 3: third level warlocks can pick their pact boon, and the Pact of the Blade is perfect for an up-and-coming paladin, letting you summon an extraplanar weapon as an action and make it any kind you like. thanks to the invocation Improved Pact Weapon, it’ll do extra damage each hit, and you can cast your spells through it! most DMs don’t really care about stuff like that, but if they do, it’s a godsend.

if you want even more swords to blast people with, you can summon a Cloud of Daggers now! …it’s bad! but it is thematic.

11. Paladin 8: eighth level paladins get another ASI, and it’s time we got holy. as a Scion of the Outer Planes (specifically the good ones) you get resistance to radiant damage and the ability to cast Sacred Flame using your charisma. we had good offense against the unholy, but now you have defense against the holy! why would being faithful give you that? there’s a couple theological implications there I’m not 100% comfortable dealing with, so let’s move on.

12. Paladin 9: ninth level paladins get third level spells so you’re now a Beacon of Hope, giving everyone you want within 30’ of you advantage on wisdom and death saves, plus maximized healing. you can also Dispel Magic for free, or remove curses! those aren’t in character, but you get one for free and the other’s practically a synonym. Crusader’s Mantle can turn the whole party in to paladins if you want tho

13. Paladin 10: tenth level paladins have an Aura of Courage, so now nobody near you gets scared. how can they be if you’re doing a sick kickflip ten feet away?

14. Paladin 11: eleventh level paladins get an Improved Divine Smite, so now it’s like every attack you make is at least a little bit smitey.

15. Paladin 12: our last level of paladin gets you the Righteous Heritor feat, rounding up your Charisma and the ability to protect your allies. when somebody nearby takes damage, you can react to reduce that damage proficiency times a day. there technically isn’t a debuff if you use it to protect yourself, but that’s not the knightly thing to do, y’know?

16. Fighter 1: it’s time for that secret third thing! well, almost. right now you get the Dueling fighting style so your sword is equally powerful one- or two-handed, and a Second Wind so you can heal yourself as a bonus action. again you could use your lay on hands, but that can be used for someone else too. you have to be greedy with this one.

17. Fighter 2: ok now you’ve got that secret third thing, and that’s Action Surge! now you can action on the same turn you’ve already actioned once a short rest! now you can shoot out 4-8 beams that deal 1d10+4 to 1d10+10 damage each! ultra swingy now

18. Warlock 4: fourth level warlocks get their own ASI, so max out that Charisma for the strongest… everything. just about everything we have uses charisma, and now yours is as high as it can go without literal divine intervention. good job!

also you can cast True Strike now if you feel like wasting a turn, or Suggestion to use your position of power for good. or evil. your own purposes, in any case.

19. Warlock 5: fifth level warlocks get third level spells, like Spirit Shroud, letting you add even more damage to every attack you make on someone within 10’ of you. is using a ranged attack on someone within 10’ smart? god no! but it gives you a chance for dramatic banter, which is cool!

also you can use your Sign of Ill Omen to bestow a curse on someone once a day using a warlock spell slot. curses are really versatile, but the reason we’re picking this up is to give someone disadvantage to hit you or an ally, which is one of the pre-given options for the spell.

20. Warlock 6: the sixth level of hexblade isn’t something we get to often, but since we’re already summoning swords we might as well summon the hands wielding them too. with your Accursed Specter, you can summon the spirit of a hero of the past (bc you just killed them) and they’re forced to help you out for the rest of the day. they get an extra 6 temporary HP, as well as a +5 bonus on all their attack rolls! so if you kill a level 20 fighter and combine this with your eldritch blasts, you can summon all 12 paladins in a single round! kinda!

also you can cast Tongues now, so you can talk to anyone you want! it's what god would want. if he hadn't knocked over that tower.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

having literally everything based off your Charisma is great, it let us pick up a bunch of cool feats without sacrificing any kind of power, and unlike most paladins you don’t have to choose between your magic being strong or your swordplay.

speaking of, thanks to that mono-stat stuff you’re super versatile in a fight, being able to dish out damage in melee or at range, or provide support and protection to other party members. being able to do a little bit of everything is never a bad thing.

speaking of support, just being around you is a huge bonus for squishier party members, and thanks to your mobility options you’re never that far away.

Cons:

and it’s a good thing you can move around easily, because your auras are tiny. when you combine that with you moving around the place all the time, odds are most of your party won’t be getting any aura buffs for most of the fight.

having warlock slots might give you more chances to smite, but it completely blocks you from upcasting spells, leaving you stuck with third level spells slots for the entire build. a lot of your damage comes from other sources, but a good smite crit is super cathartic, you know?

your ultimate attack has some major damage variance, and it’s only at its best once per short rest. you can call your shots, but you’re only going to get one chance per fight at best, so make it count. otherwise you can go from 8d10+8d8+88 damage to 4d10+20, which is a major missed opportunity.

[sophia-sol]

November recs: fic, vids, short stories, and novelettes

In November I started doing a thing where whenever I read a story or a fic that I enjoyed, I quickly wrote up a brief rec for it and posted it directly to my mastodon account. I am amazed at how much I'm enjoying doing this, and how well it works for me! But this means that I have now built up a backlog of recs that I want to share to my dreamwidth and tumblr as well. So I think going forward I'll post a roundup once a month of the past month's recs, so that y'all can see them as well!

Here's the November ones! Featuring:

7 TGCF fics 13 SVSSS fics 1 MDZS fic 1 NiF fic 1 Persuasion (Jane Austen) fic 2 multifandom vids 5 short stories 3 novelettes

TGCF RECS

Digging for Orchids, by betts

TGCF, hualian

Over the last couple days I reread this fic and was reminded just how GOOD it is

modern AU hualian

roommates! out of work actors! pretending to be husbands!

hualian are canonically both just so weird about each other and so over the top about everything to do with each other always, and this fic captures that dynamic beautifully

the author's careful attention to the physicality of scenes is so good and so important

xie lian is living with chronic pain after a fall and it's so real about how that affects his life

there are so many funny and on point observations of various characters and their relationships with each other!

I had many feelings

LOVE WINS.

On Our Way to Fall, by etymologyplayground

TGCF, hualian

a cute quiet small domestic scene in puqi shrine in the middle parts of book canon

see hua cheng as a cat! hear hua cheng's theory about breathing being sexy! enjoy hua cheng and xie lian being completely smitten with each other! also lady windmaster is a real pal as always

it's super adorable

6k words in length

Celestial Confluence/Cultivation Cross, by pengiesama

TGCF, hualian

a silly funny fic about hua cheng causing chaos in heaven by creating a trendy new gacha game

xie lian, bewildered, ends up on shi qingxuan and ming yi's livestream about the game

hua cheng is absolutely willing to get distracted from the game by gege

there's some excellent comic timing in here!

6k words in length

The Heart and All its Chambers, by etymologyplayground

TGCF, hualian

modern au where hualian are lesbians

xie lian has never had an orgasm, and hua cheng offers to help by loaning her a toy

obviously the help ends up going further than that

it's just so cute and sweet how much xl and hc love each other and take care of each other and are clearly SUPER into each other!

and how good they are about each other's weird hangups about sex!

19k words in length

Stick in the Mud, by etymologyplayground

TGCF, beefleaf

beefleaf before the beefleaf arc goes down

having sex with a strap-on and definitely not having any undercurrents of emotions about anything, what are you talking about, beefleaf would never

god, the note it ends on!!

4k words in length

beloved in your sight, by olivers_box_of_raisins

TGCF, mulian

mu qing pov from the xianle trio era

ft. class issues and teen relationship drama

xie lian is an enormous martial arts nerd and a naive but shining prince; mu qing is pining but hyper-aware of class boundaries and how everyone sees him; feng xin is ready to judge

it's so great and succeeds so well at what it's doing, I love it

I love the last scene, which it ends on, about xie lian's appearance after he ascends. perfect ending to the fic

7k words in length

Your Sweet Breath On My Dice, by Siamesa

TGCF, hualian

canon divergence story where ghost king hua cheng manages to catch up with his god in a different way

that way: xie lian accidentally triggered a curse and now he's swapped bodies with a mysterious ghost….?

(INCREDIBLE premise)

I love xl and hc's very different reactions to finding themselves in each other's bodies

I think my favourite part though might be poor yin yu doing his best to handle the situation, between hc's firm instructions on how to treat xl, and xl's equally firm opinions on what to do

a very fun read overall!

6k words in length

SVSSS RECS

ars adeo latet arte sua, by lavenderandrue

SVSSS, bingqiu

post-canon bingqiu experimenting with roleplay

in which they pretend that lbh is a statue in a museum and sqq is the museum caretaker who understands the statue's true value more than anyone else

yes obviously they're both extremely horny about it and also feelings-horny about it

the asides about the various lbh figurines sqq had in his old life are so funny

I love seeing them able to just be happy and have fun exploring their sexuality together, after all the woes of canon!

the word count is 6969, nice

bereft, bestowed, by sixthmoon (seventhstar)

SVSSS, moshang

cute fic about mobei-jun being hounded by his advisors to get married, but he's uninterested in the various eligible women being presented to him

shang qinghua suggests that mbj set a task that anyone who wants to marry him must fulfill

I think you can guess how this ends :D

3k words in length

in the thin winter sun, by goshkiki

SVSSS, moshang

rule 63 post-canon moshang from mbj's pov, featuring a pining mbj who can't understand why sqh doesn't seem to be interested in being her queen even though sqh is happy enough to have sex with her

gorgeously desperate and despairing, lyrical and in love and hopeless about it

mbj's pov is amazing, and so is seeing sqh through mbj's eyes

note that the fic ends with the pining situation unresolved, but the author is planning a sequel, and the fic is satisfying as it is as well!

17k words in length

Tale Within A Tale, by BrilliantLady

SVSSS, bingqiu

an au where sqq does his best to communicate to lbh prior to the Immortal Alliance Conference, despite having his words held back by the system; so he tells a series of meaningful stories and hopes lbh will draw the right conclusions

the fic is from lbh's pov and I love how earnestly and carefully he tries to put together the clues sqq is giving him! the CONCLUSIONS he draws!!

I screamed internally with delight at multiple points while reading the fic. it's such a delightful read!

32k words in length

Come With Me, by acernor

SVSSS, bingliu

modern au, liu qingge's ex-fiance yue qingyuan is marrying luo binghe's ex shen jiu

lqg & lbh have an ill-advised hookup at the wedding of their exes, and then keep on having ill-advised hookups

both of them are completely incapable of being emotionally self-aware, even as they spend more and more time with each other, most of it framed antagonistically

oh my god they are both so fucked up

the draw and the attraction they both feel toward each other is so well-shown

truly impressed with them for managing to make a happy ending for themselves out of all this!! <3

63k words in length

Cold Blooded Rivalry (Just Add Heat), by acernor and hyphendots

SVSSS, liubingqiu

liu qingge gets hit with a fuck-or-die monster venom! shen qingqiu and luo binghe are here to help him out

the vibes are SO good, from the prickly antagonism between lqg & lbh at the beginning, through the awkward unspoken interest in sqq, to the way lqg goes all melty and floaty at the end

it's SO soft from lqg's pov once the cure is embarked upon and I love it so much

7k words in length

The Cost of Sacrilege, by Prim_the_Amazing

SVSSS, luo binghe & the old palace master

lbh is having a totally chill time of it having a breakdown after his shizun dies

the old palace master of huan hua is ALSO having a totally separate chill breakdown about once again having a disciple under his control (….he thinks) who looks like su xiyan

when their breakdowns intersect, no prizes for guessing who wins lol

It's Time For Binghe Angst

such a good view into what might have happened at the very beginning of the 5 year period where sqq is dead!

5k words in length

The Dark Is Full of Your Voice, by straightforwardly

SVSSS, bingqiu

post-canon au where post bing-ge vs bing-mei fight, it's bing-mei who returns to sqq

prompts that inspired this fic included “Technically awful attempts at comfort are actually very comforting” and “Comfortee flaunts their hurt in order to get more comfort” and it's perfect actually, I love how THEM it is

sqq having zero clue what to do that's Actually Helpful when someone's injured is soooo funny tbh. but his fussing is what really matters!

2k words in length

shen yuan and original luo binghe’s epic adventure in the modern world, by tshirt

SVSSS, bingyuan

shen yuan definitely didn't intend to buy this body pillow of luo binghe what are you talking about

he also definitely didn't involve his "essence" in an accidental ritual that summoned the real luo binghe

however luo binghe is now here and he needs to do SOMETHING about that

extremely funny, tshirt is always so good at the comic timing

the airplane cameo is also perfect

4k words in length

if you don't have your own boyfriend, rented is fine, by nyoomerr

SVSSS, bingyuan

I feel sure I've talked about this fic before but I can't find it in my tags?! I've been following it as a wip and it's now DONE!

the premise: bing-ge transmigrates to our world, and shen yuan thinks he's an attractive but incompetent and down on his luck cosplay-boyfriend-for-rent and takes pity on him

sy tries to reform lbh and turn him into someone who's not terrible at being a boyfriend. meanwhile lbh is slowly discovering that maybe…..it's possible………for someone to care about him and be nice to him just because they like him?? sounds fake! but what if?

every single aspect of their relationship (and everything else in the fic!!!) is a COMPLETE delight. I love to see how much sy's sharp-mouthed peerless cucumber side is out in full force, and how feral lbh is, and how the two of them play off each other

86k words in length

commodity fetishism, by tshirt

SVSSS, moshang

tshirt is a genius, this is SO funny, I'm dying

modern au where mbj is a trust fund baby who's lost access to his trust fund, and what is he going to do, WORK for money?? no.

enter sugar daddy sqh, or possibly findom mbj's paypig sqh

3k words in length

bro you posted cringe, by tshirt

SVSSS, cumplane

yes more tshirt fic, can't stop won't stop

this one's about shang qinghua and shen qingqiu arguing about whether sqh's sex scenes are at all believable

which of course leads to a hands-on demonstration

during which OBVIOUSLY they don't stop arguing

it's so funny and so in character and it's amazing

the excerpts from pidw that are read aloud as evidence are also peak comedy

also it's rule 63

3k words in length

is she, you know, a disciple of xian shu?, by tshirt

SVSSS, mingying

liu mingyan and ning yingying's developing relationship as they find ways to open up and be real with each other

it's so cute!!

I love how it talks about the experience of gender, how nyy likes that with lmy she isn't expected to be a demure flower, and lmy likes that she doesn't have to be perfect, and none of that excludes them from belonging as a woman who loves women

and also they bond over writing RPS, obvs

3k words in length

MDZS RECS

Disrupt, Corrupt, and Interrupt Me, by hansbekhart

MDZS, lan wangji/su minshan

I love fic that takes Su Minshan seriously as a character, it's a rare delight whenever I come across one

Lan Wangji/Su Minshan during the disciple era, before the guest disciples arrive

lwj is a fuckboy and sms is delighted to discover evidence that lwj despite his airs is the same as everyone else

they fuck about it a lot

content note for nonconsensual somnophilia

PERFECT ENDING omg.

3k words in length

NIF RECS

all around us are cliffs (close your eyes and fall), by plalligator

NiF, mei changsu/mu nihuang/xiao jingyan

canon divergence au where after the destruction of the chiyan army, mu nihuang takes her army back to yunnan to set up as an independent ruler, and prince jing disappears

mei changsu, hearing that nihuang has taken a husband and nobody knows who he is: right so I'm going to yunnan

cue identity shenanigans, of course!

the wip is at 5 chapters and 12k words right now, and it's left unmarked what the expected final length will be, but I am HERE for the ride wherever it goes because everything it is doing is delicious to me

it's tagged with mei changsu/mu nihuang/xiao jingyan so I'm assuming that's the endgame ship, which, yes, take me to there

PERSUASION RECS

An Officer and a Gentleman, by cedarboots

Persuasion, Anne/Frederick

a rewrite of Persuasion featuring butch 4 butch Anne/Frederick

god it's so GOOD and I am so EMOTIONAL about it

I love all the ways in which it is both the same and different, the ways their identities affect the things they do and the choices they make

and I mentioned in an earlier post how meaningful it is to be able to see gender non-conforming people like me in historical fiction, living their lives, finding ways to be happy, finding their community. shaking hands with them across time. I see you and you see me.

making Persuasion specifically be the story told is so perfect too because of how it's about getting to know yourself better when you've had time to grow up more

also there's lots of excellently-researched historical content

and lots of feels

READ IT READ IT READ IT

it's such a lovely ending and I nearly cried about it

47k words in length

MULTIFANDOM RECS

Masculine Women, Feminine Men, by Tafadhali

multifandom vid

fanvid about queer movies from mostly pre-Code hollywood days

a fascinating window into the way queer themes were portrayed in that era

fun and thoughtful at the same time

3 minutes in length

We Kiss in a Shadow (I Have Dreamed), by Tafadhali

multifandom vid

a follow-up to the pre-code vid I just recced, this one is about queer themes in 1950's-60's hollywood

very different vibes, and the contrast says a lot when you watch the two back to back

this one does really good understated yearning and unspoken secrets.

SHORT STORY RECS

Brincando Charcos (Jumping Puddles), by Ben Francisco

Short story

a beautiful story about fear and trauma and being latino in the USA, and queer romance and the wisdom of the people who love you, and how something that can help save you and that can bring joy and fun in your life can also be an unhealthy coping mechanism if you take it too far. I loved reading about Javier and Mateo as they developed their relationship!

4k words in length

The Long Mural, by James Van Pelt

Short story

about a stowaway on a generation ship

also about art and being part of a community of amateur artists whose work is worthwhile

I loved the details about the problems with microbial growth in a closed system full of humans who are constantly shedding skin particles, and that the main character sees it as an important job to be part of the clean-up

the future is unknown but worth being a part of

7k words in length

The Dying Lover of Nogorod, by R. K. Duncan

Short story

fantasy story about wizards and dragons and power, and being queer, and being horny for a dragon who is also your death

deliberately written in a higher register, which can too easily feel stilted or cold, but here works to give the whole thing a sense of dignity and depth

5k words in length

To Carry You Inside You, by Tia Tashiro

Short story

sci-fi story about a woman with a port-drive into her brain that allowed her to be a great child actor when she was young, and gives her a career as an adult of plugging in the mental backup of a dead person to visit bereaved families who want their beloved dead back again

about identity, embodiment, and not knowing how to want things

also about body-sharing

in second-person pov which works so well for the things this story is about and the things it's doing! the main character is someone who spends most of her time being someone else, after all

it's so compellingly written!

has the perfect ending, which can be so hard to pull off right

7k words in length

this is the first published story by this author, and something this great is her first; I am excited to think of where she might go from here!

Nextype, by Sam Kyung Yoo

Short story

a short story about a young woman who was given a neural implant to improve her abilities and skills in school to be able to get a good job

about parental expectations and abusive control

trying to figure out who you are and what you care about when you've never been given the opportunity to be anything but obedient

I had feelings

4k words in length

NOVELETTE RECS

The Year Without Sunshine, by Naomi Kritzer

Novelette

an urban neighbourhood handling an ongoing collapse of systems in a climate crisis by banding together and forming supportive community

doesn't ignore things like temporary and permanent disability

believable amounts of hopeful

10k words in length

Over My Dead Body by shukyou

Novelette

content notes for ummmmmmm body horror? body grossness definitely. also, murder, plus sex with weird consent stuff going on. drug use. probably other stuff too.

but it's not, like, horrifying and depressing about any of that! it's remarkably sweet!

an absolutely incredible piece of original fiction about bodyswap/bodysharing that really makes its home in exploring the weirdness of the situation from the inside. What Is Embodiment. How to have a relationship with the body you're in. Bodies have a lot going on! The brain is part of the body.

probably this story isn't for everyone, but if it is for you then you are in for a TREAT. I adored it.

14k words

Black are the Waters, by Ten Tzeng

Novelette

about the difficulties of being a teen girl whose dad just died, and who is trying to figure out her identity as an othered visible minority, with a large and close-knit multigenerational family whose older generations are more connected with traditional culture and who want her to be too

the traditional culture is selkies

yeah it's a GREAT premise and I love how carefully and believably the selkie culture is imagined, and what the experience of being part of a landed selkie family would be

very emotionally affecting too!

8k words in length

[prismaticpichu]

hi pichu! ♡ um, if you're still wanting headcanon asks, do you have any headcanons on zack and his relationship with the turks who show up in cc? do you think they would hang out or nah?

Heya buddy! Hope you’re having an awesome day!! I’m always up for playing dollhouse with my favorite characters in my favorite little world *plops down on butt, opens toy box*

Ooooooh Zack and the Turks!! The puppy can make friends with a bus stop sign so I definitely imagine he had some good times with them :3c I’ve got about a C+ in the Turk knowledge department, but I will do my best!!

Zack & Reno had to be pals, I mean they had to! Maybe not toooo close but not distant either. I’d say default person you’d sit on a roller coaster with. They spend many afternoons conjuring up all the best pranks and gags anyone on the FACE of Gaia had ever seen. Seriously, you are NO MATCH for their unrelenting genius. I’m talking about planting whoopie cushions, replacing shampoo bottles with mayonnaise. They even have knack for doing the ol’ switcheroo with salt and pepper shakers. Team ZR button have a ball causing all sorts of shenanigans! They are the PRANK KINGS of ShinRa and no one will EVER STOP THEIR REIGN….. not counting Sephiroth and Rude who are dragging their respective nutcases back to their rooms. (Don’t worry, they’re not angry. Just disappointed.)

Zack’s relationship with Tseng is much like his with Seph or Angeal. You gotta stone-cold Turkey who is secretively melting inside whenever he’s in Zack’s presence (and don’t tell anyone, but Tseng finds knock knock jokes peak comedy.) They don’t spend too much time together as Tseng’s got the rest of the Turks to babysit, but he’s a chill dude and Zack knows that. Their mission to Banora was the first time their bond sprouted—and no, he never did get over the fact that SOLDIER pay is less! Those Lego sets aren’t gonna pay themselves, SHINRA.

Rude just outright avoids Zack when possible. He can’t handle him. How rude!

Cissnei and Zack have a very adorable relationship!! Huge “platonic pals that everyone ships on a TV show but both have partners anyway” vibe. They bonded a lot during the span of the Genesis War, Cissnei being one of the only people to remain his steady friend through the whole ordeal. She cleanses a lot of Zack’s trauma about wings, and in fact, sparks Zack’s childlike wonder of them again <3 No amount of betrayal and horror will ever destroy the PUPPER. Thanks Cissnei!! She’s also a proud member of Zack’s fan club and designs merchandise herself (but NO REPEATIES. She will dice you like an onion).

And since you’re in Pichu’s house and Nibelheim goes extinct, Cisnnei does get the chance to tell him his real name <3 (shhhhh, it’s actually just Cissnei but with two n’s instead of one.)

[cosmosoracle]

It's not the easiest thing to wreck something underwater; one would have to go against the force of water itself, or hit the target with strong intent. And yet, Hoyt still manages to damage enough in his room, struggling to let out some of his pent up frustration. He breathes in fast from the magical air bottle to his side when he stops, bubbles floating up and out of the room as he slowly calms down. It takes a bit; he usually is the one that stays in control the most, but even a patient killer has his limits.

Once he returns somewhat calm, his hand instinctively goes to the satchel with the dice he always carries on his side. They are one of the godly gifts he earned from the very beginning of his adventure: accepting to gamble with fate and with his life on the line, he attracted the attention of another entity involved with the Tears and the rest of the mess we are in that introduced herself to him as the Real Deal. His heroic and risky actions were appreciated and rewarded with those little tokens, which, more than once, were able to change the outcome of things.

He pulls all four of them out, taking a moment to observe them and juggle them between his fingers. His reliance on them was undeniable, and not just for himself. Very often, he also reached in the pocket to turn them in the team's favor, especially to save the others from their demise. Just a few days earlier, just a few hours earlier, they had been turned to try and save Evangelia as well in more than one occasion. But when things got too hectic and trying to add some luck to the equation was not enough, he didn't settle down with simple gambling anymore - instead, he would pick the one that was completely corrupted and stained in black, which gave him higher chances to Take What He Wants.

And yet, not even the black die proved to be enough against Roktor. Not only that; it seems like the blackness on its surface had also started to peel off at some point, maybe during the fight, and red dots are resurfacing on its faces. He snarls at them, then he starts to speak to them, and his eyes start to wander around the room.

"What is this... what should this mean? After today... I felt like I had defied Fate this morning, I succeeded against the King that defeated me in my dream. I felt like I had won everything... and then I lost everything instead, right after that, bullied by that fucking thing... We lost the book. Chaldira... Why now?"

"I don't know."

Hoyt turns behind himself, and just like Egon, the Real Deal is sitting on his bed with her legs crossed and her hands on the knees, not minding the water around her at all as she lightly rocks back and forth, shrugging her shoulders. The assassin blinks at her, certainly not expecting a visit face to face; but, once the initial surprise settles, he fully turns and swims a little closer to her as she resumes to speak.

"First of all, just to make things clear... that is not my name," she agitates her finger while making the precisation, almost a little offended at it; but as soon as that is dealt with, she immediately returns more serious, pointing with her head at the group of dice in the hands of the goblin. "Secondly, it wasn't me doing anything to that die. All that happened is that... it was your best pal so far, giving you everything you wanted and bypassing the whole game!"

"I haven't been using it much since our last chat," Hoyt mutters under his breath as she emphasizes the concept.

"...until it didn't work. Today, it didn't give what you wanted, despite you did everything as usual. It was enough for you to doubt it, and, apparently, it's been enough for it to get damaged, in a way, just like mine started to blacken when you insisted on your desires."

"Plus... I'm sure you are familiar with that... old, cursed man with skeletal hands, rowing on his boat over a river of souls from one shore to another...?"

Of course, that rings a bell for Hoyt. He nods as he recalls that exact image from another dream. He had gone just past him back then, turning to stare at him with a sinister shine in its eyes... "I'm guessing it was him giving me the black die."

"And there's even more," the blue skinned woman straightens her back and crosses her arms, clearly disgusted at the mere thought of the figure. "He's the one that has been laughing at you through all these days, the one who's been giving you the unpleasant dreams that have nothing to do with us. I'm giving you free will with the dice. You can use my red ones, his black ones, none at all; you can play a game, with me, with the world - with your life! Who cares! Have fun!... while he's just waiting for you to fail."

"Oh, that I know; and I have been playing the game personally for long enough. That book... what the fuck is that?"

She sighs and turns away. "You know very well that I cannot talk about it."

"I know, but aren't you worried about everything that happened? About the fact that he has it now? "

"That I absolutely am, but unfortunately I am bound and I cannot help you anymore than this. See, I became what I am exactly because I took my risks. Once, I was lucky enough to play and win with the right person, so I became what I am, and here I am today. While all of this? It was the result of the day that, eventually, I played again and I lost."

"Heh, of course," he breathed out, clearly unhappy. "It's part of the game, right?"

"Right."

"Riiight."

The Real Deal favors a break after that. She also looks deeply dissatisfied at everything. She seems to take a few moments for herself to value something, and then she returns to pay attention to the little trinkets. "Do you know how many times you used that die?"

"A lot, especially in the past," Hoyt comments bitterly.

"If I am correct - which I'm pretty sure that I am - it was 27 times with today's addition... and with every single use, you lost a year of your life."

Silence drops in the room, and the rogue opens his eyes a little wider. His humanity beyond the curse always shines through them a little more strongly; the blue hues of the irises are as uncommon as they can be for such an ancestry otherwise. And in them, the loss is extremely readable.

"...what?"

There is no answer from the other, which keeps observing the goblin with somewhat regretful eyes. He needs a bit to come to terms with the situation before continuing to talk. "I wish I knew that earlier."

"I'm sure that sharing these informations about that piece of shit with you very much counts as interference with our deal, but technically not too much. As I already said, I'm sorry I can't help any more than this," she raises one shoulder and looks at him with sincere participation.

"This situation - dancing in the hands of you higher beings without knowing what to do - sucks. What the hell are we supposed to do?"

She sighs and pulls herself back. "Do what you always did so far. Live your life as you please, have fun. But if you feel like something is pulling you in... listen to your guts; it seems to have failed you only once so far. I can't tell you anything else about the book; but when the right time comes, hit me up. I'll be sure to come around."

"Fine." He grabs the black die with his free hand and stares at it intensely for a few seconds, before throwing it away without a second thought.

She smiles to that. "There you go..."

"But if you're really so sorry, do make sure to share all the informations you have with me the moment you can."

There is a single moment of pause before the Real Deal raises her hands, giving Hoyt a double thumbs up. "Okidoki!"

She pushes herself off the bed, then rummages through her pockets and her smile turns to a full grin. "A copper for your effort," she chimes before flipping the money.

Hoyt frowns as he follows the coin being thrown at him. By the time he looks down at her to complain - he's about to call her a cheap bastard - she has already disappeared, just as she arrived. He huffs and catches the coin. When he looks back down at it... a new red die is in his palm.

(Frustration grows even more. 'Why is she like that!?')

[halevetica]

25 fun and cute questions to brighten the spirits and get us through the holidays!

I was tagged by @itsstereksterek

Hiya all! I’ve created this list as a reminder of happy memories and great times with our loved ones since I think we’re all feeling a tad blue this holiday season. Tagging my favourite blogs but all are welcome to answer :)

Best gift you’ve ever gotten: The first story I ever finished was printed in book form as a gift for me from my best friend.

Nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you: I don’t really know...

Your favourite holiday memory: My husband and Son getting tangled in christmas decorations. I have the video and it always makes me smile.

Where you want to go first once we can travel again: Montana

Your spirit animal: Cat

Your OTP: oooh, probably Sterek but I am also currently obsessed with Malex

Tumblr pals you want to meet in real life: All of you!

Soulmates: real or fake: Real but they don’t have to romantic!

Favourite holiday food: Cookie bars. My mother in law makes them every Christmas.

What you wish you were doing right now: Hmmm....maybe being productive. lol

Your safe space/where or who you feel most at home with: My husband.

Favourite hobbies: Writing, dice making, recording

Cooking or baking: baking maybe...

Reading or writing: Writing

Gifsets or mood boards: giftsets

Coffee or tea: Coffee

City or suburbs: Suburbs

Someone who can always make you laugh: @lifebeginsbyleaving

Someone who always brightens your day: @lifebeginsbyleaving or my husband

Favourite day of the week: Thursday

Favourite animal: Fox

Dream vacation spot: Mountains

Writer, artist, or creator(s) you want to see more of: @lifebeginsbyleaving @wanderingcas

Favourite movie, television show, and song: Van Helsing, Supernatural, King for a day by Pierce the Veil

I tag @lifebeginsbyleaving @wanderingcas @ambitioncunningpridemieczyslaw (Only if you want to) and anyone else who wants to.

[mt-beast]

Just two kiddos playing some cards for their free time. 

[starring-the-announcer]

Closed RP ||♟🎲One Night in The Dice House🎲♟

@risk-of-rollin

“🌟Checkmate🌟!” The radio called out again in the same sure nasally tone that always buzzed out of his speaker. He tapped his foot and looked up at the die with a smirk. Tenth game of chess he’d won that night, he’d say he was doing pretty good, but the stress vein on Dice’s forehead sure made it clear that the guy wasn’t going to be up for playing much longer at this rate. 

“🌟You want me to let you win a round? To keep yah interested?🌟” He asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. Oh that smug smile. It never faded it seemed. Always present and condescending. It was even passable as charming in the right settings. Now though....now it was clearly mocking.  

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut) 

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 

Men? <<< Literally anything else. 

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’. 

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sarah Ellen Parsons

Sarah Ellen Parsons has 18 X-Files stories at Gossamer and 19 at AO3. If you want high quality fic with interesting characters, go read her stories. Some of my favorites of her fics are The Crouching Thing and My Constant Touchstone Who Makes Me A Whole Person (which are two very different stories!). Big thanks to Sarah Ellen for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

With today's binge-watching culture, I'm not at all surprised. You can watch a bunch of eps and then seek out fic that is where you are in the series.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I took away a writer's group Yes, Virginia, that is still together.  Mostly as friends, but whenever I write something, or someone else writes something, it's the first place we all run for machete beta. I have betad SO MANY novels.

We have a number of folks who are published writers since then and our time in X-Files fic brought us lifelong friendships IRL and made us all better at our craft. The majority of those folks were better writers than I am. And I make my living as a writer in my day-job.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I belonged to a couple of the largest lists and posted there and bitched about the show on usenet with everyone else.  We had our own Yahoo group for beta.  We all had crappy GeoCities websites that we programmed the HTML for ourselves and hooked through various fandom link circles to get traffic to our stories.  But the main method of distribution was the lists.

Fun fact, I found a free page counter thing that I used at work one time through fandom. So fandom pays off in skillz.

Even without social media, we managed to get our stories in front of readers who would enjoy them. Where there's a will, there's always someone ready to step up and find a way.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Again, I have lifelong friends IRL that I got solely from fanfiction. That's the best takeaway.

Fandom disappointed me because it, like everything else, is ruined by people's egos, backstabbing, and petty people who get in positions of power and then use those positions to punch down or dictate. I was young when I was writing X-Files and I still had hope that people would rise to their better natures, so I got involved in various futile efforts to try to make people behave the way I wanted them to behave, I guess. I did a lot of public bitching that didn't serve me or my friends well. I now put that effort into politics, where it does actual good.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

X-files was made for me. It combined science fiction, mystery, horror.  I love all of those genres. Plus there was Scully. No matter how sexist that writer's room was, Scully was awesome. But you kept seeing bad writing. Even in the heyday seasons, like Season 3, there were really terrible eps that made you want to fix things.

I'm a lifelong speculative fiction fan and a published feminist science fiction author. I actually was published before I fell down the fic hole. I got involved in fanfic due to getting my fantasy novel turned down from every major publisher for being "too dark". And I needed to get readers to see my stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't terrible at writing. I got a ton of feedback and it was like market research to see what people wanted to read.

My time in fanfiction made me 100% a better writer than I was.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I went to the X-Files Expo to see if I could make contact with someone from Harper Collins because the tie-in novels sucked so hard.  I got rejected with my pitch as I didn't have a literary agent.

Around that time, a pal who I watched X-Files with IRL was looking for a free X-files wallpaper for her work computer when she found the website where fans in Pennsylvania had fic archived. She read some and wrote to me - "you need to see this, and you can do better."  So I started reading and was.... I probably CAN do better. So I wrote The Batman Plot. And made two friends I'm still friends with with that one story.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Nonexistent.  I couldn't even watch the latest season and I saw only 2 of season one of whatever that was before I gave up. I have never watched the second movie.

X-files is my first fandom bad ex-husband. I loved it SO MUCH, but it betrayed me.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a while, but I didn't end up publishing anything in it. All my stories were novel-length and I was writing so much for work, I never completed anything. I called Snape/Lily when Prisoner of Azkaban was published and got Jossed by Rowling in one of my big ideas. (This is bad fandom ex-husband 2. JKR will never get a dime of money from me again because of her hateful stance on transfolk. I have RL friends who are trans and NO.)

I wrote fic in Supernatural. It was the obvious next thing after X-Files. However, the misogyny and bringing in all the Angel/Devil Christofascist stuff lost me. The ep where they declared all other religions other than Christianity as invalid and killed a Hindu god made me stop watching for good. I know enough Christofascists IRL that I can't tolerate it in my fiction. (Bad fandom ex-husband 3)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This list is far too long to actually make.  But characters I spent time writing about include: Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Co. (I wrote three unpublished Star Trek novels before I found online fandom). King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay, Sherlock Holmes (I wrote a Sherlock Holmes play after seeing "Crucifer of Blood" and entered it in a national competition, where I got very nice comments back.), Mulder, Scully and Krycek, Rowling's Hermione and Snape (like him or not, its masterful characterization), Dean and Sam Winchester, John Winchester and Bobby Singer.  I wrote one comedy story starring Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  A couple of Roswell stories under a different name. Catwoman and Batman. I have some unpublished Avengers fanfic lying around as I'm an OG Marvel fan with a massive comic collection.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I was on a business trip a few years ago and FX had a marathon and I watched part of it when I was in my hotel room. Early seasons are comforting, but I don't go back there now.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic anymore. I read a tiny bit of Star Wars after the second movie because Rian Johnson had it right. Now I don't care. I love Mandalorian, but am content to watch.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to count.  All of YV. Which reminds me, I need to go update our entry at Fanlore. I promised Punk I'd do it a while back.  I need to at least get everyone linked.  Right now it's only Punk and Sab.

But it was a ton of us.  Marasmus, Maria Nicole, Cofax, CazQ, M. Sebasky, Livia Balaban, Kelly Keil, Wen, Ropobop, Jess Mabe, JET, fialka, and a bunch of others that I can't remember their fic names any more, just their real names because I know them all IRL. I need to go back and look up their fic names and link them up there.

In addition to my little group of pals, I loved reading Mustang Sally and Rivka T, Rachel Anton - I keep trying to find her to encourage her to write romance if she's not doing it already, but no dice, Dasha K., Anjou, there were so many great ones, but their names have slipped my mind in the past 20 years.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I'm most known for Prone, and I'm proud of that story for all kinds of reasons, but I think my very best is The Crouching Thing.

I mostly didn't publish anything I didn't think was good and hadn't been machete betaed within an inch of its life, but I'm not sure much of the angsty romance stuff holds up as well. I think it worked when the show was still ON and we were all in that emotional headspace, but probably not now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Funny you ask. I am currently reworking a plot idea I had for an X-Files fic into a contemporary M/M novel, which I will publish under a different pen-name. The plot is the idea I had for X-Files, the characters are very, very different other than one is uptight and the other more easy-going. But no more Mulder and Scully.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I have been making my living as a writer for 25 years. I write the word count equivalent of 5 Tolkein novels a year, just for my day-job.  I am turning back to original fiction, which is where I was before X-Files.  I'm working on the M/M thing, a high fantasy thing, a low fantasy historical thing and a bunch of M/F Regency romances as I get time and energy.  I publish Fantasy and SF under my real name. Romance has pen names as you don't want that getting back to your workplace, either.

SEP is fic only and here she will stay.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have too many ideas to count.  I try to write them down when they come, so I won't forget. At least the outline of the idea. Often a scene. I've been like this my entire life. I started writing novels seriously at 15. I wrote a 500 plus page one about Morgan Le Fay during breaks in high school because "Mists of Avalon" pissed me off so bad as I'd read the original source material and that was a Wicca recruitment polemic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Sarah Ellen was my great-grandma, Parsons was her grandma's last name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Half my friends ARE fic friends. Most of my friends know as does my brother, who thinks writing for free is dumb. This is universally agreed on by non-fic friends who know. My mother still doesn't know about the fic. Just the "real" writing.  I write under a pen name to keep it away from my job and my published work.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

My X-files stuff is up on Gossamer mostly. I'm trying to get the stories all moved to AO3 for all the genres. I'm working on this now.  SEP is really not a living thing anymore, but there was a time when she was more me than me.

If you want to find my "real" non-fic writing, write to me at se_parsons at yahoo dot com and I will point you at it.

And PLEASE someone, hunt down Rachel Anton and get her writing something we all can BUY.  Where are my old Krycek bitches at?  Do any of you know where she is? [Lilydale note: I’ve tried contacting Rachel Anton for this Old School X project but have not had luck. I would love to find her too!]

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

The community I loved has mostly moved on, but I think we left a legacy of solid work crafted out of our love for the show.  Find a living community you love for a show you love.  There are great people out there creating and get involved.  It will be worth it.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 15, 2020)

[magical-grrrl-mavis]

Sibling AU

because apparently this is a thing I've got on my mind now. (Probs won't be writing it any time soon but I have a primal need to info dump, and maybe I'll inspire someone else.)

Characters

Eda Clawthorn - Canon Eda: She's Eda. She loves all 3 Noceda girls but is closest to Luz

King - Canon King: He's King. 

Lucia Noceda - Beta Luz: Her weirdness is sorta toned down compared to Canon Luz. She's a bit more angsty. Reeeaaaally needs to smile more. Absolute D E L I N Q U E N T.  Get’s into trouble on purpose, be gay do C R I M E. Feral. Totally down to help with Eda’s less honorable schemes. Tries to seem more “over it” and grown up but is secretly just as enthusiastic as Luz. She's more closed off, her life’s been a bit harder. Very protective of Luz and Laia, DO NOT fuck with them in front of her.  Ready and willing to throw down. Deeeeeefinitely not hopelessly in love with Amelia. Age 17

Luz Noceda - Canon Luz. You know her, you love her. Age 14

Laia Noceda - Pilot Luz: Just as weird as Luz but a bit more laid back and shy. Doesn’t like putting herself out there quite as much as Luz, but gets dragged into her schemes a lot. Huge nerdy bookworm but perfectly capable of being flirty. Actually pretty confident with Anna. Too precious for this world. Is babey. Sits back and observes her sisters antics bc she's actually got a little sense. Age 13

Amelia Blight - Beta Amity: Cold but F E R A L. Doesn't even try to be the little miss perfect anymore but will pretend in front of parents. C H A R I S M A. Will fuck you up. Sorta pyromaniac but not like crazy, just good w/ fire magic and feels calm when she watches flames. Will burn you to ash if you hurt Amity or Anna. Rolls eyes at the twins antics. “You were going to do WHAT with Amity’s diary!?” Lotta internalized shit from her treatment by her parents. THIS CLOSE to burning down Blight manor. “If I have zero friends nobody can hurt me”. Lucia really throws a wrench in that plan. Toooootally not madly in love with Lucia. Natural greenhead but constantly dyes her roots brown as a form of small rebellion and solidarity with Amity and Anna. Age 17

Edric Blight - Canon Edric: You know him. Age 16

Emira Blight - Canon Emira: You know her. Age 16

Amity Blight - Canon Amity: Our girl! Age 14

Anna Blight - pilot Amity: Is babey. Loves books. Shy and tries to stick silently to the background. Just so sweet and precious. PROTECC HER. Tries to do the right thing. Like, ALL her siblings do their best to protect her from her parents. Not good with people at all. Age 13.

Winona Park - Beta Willow: You've seen Dana’s drawing of her. This shady bitch. She knows all your secrets. She will use them against you. Likes a little trouble but doesn't get caught. Ever. By the time you figure out what rule she broke she's already won the game. Don't. Touch. Willow. T R O U B L E. Loner until Lucia came along. Just does not care about anything. Doesn't even try in school  but is still almost as good as Amelia. Not quite as powerful as Willow but still powerful. “What happens if I press this button.” Age 17

Willow Park - Canon Willow: You know her, stronk cinnamon roll. Age 14

Gus Porter - Canon Gus: Boy needs more character development. Age 12

(Story might not go quite like I'm describing it here but it's pretty close.)

Eda was going to eat King when they first met, they tell it like it's just some cute story.

Camilia was going to send both Luz and Laia to normal-person-camp but didn’t even try with Lucia bc she's clearly a lost cause. Lucia waited for the bus with them though, and she and Laia both followed Luz through the portal. Luz was the one who decided to stay on the isles, Laia just agreed bc she also hated the idea of camp, and being a witch sounded fun. Lucia agreed bc “well I'm not leaving my fucking siblings in another dimension on their own” but also was jumping up and down inside at the idea of being a witch.

Lucia and Laia were just vibing at the owl house during Witches Before Wizards because nobody told them shit.

Luz and Laia both went to the school in I Was a Teenage Abomination, Lucia didn’t bc “school? Why would I willingly go to school?” so she wandered off to town to do GOD knows what. Laia just hid in the bottom of the pot, but wandered off, Anna helped save her and get her out in the end. Later, at the covention, Laia gave Anna the “thanks pal” drawing.

Luz and Laia were both captivated by Eda’s magic lesson in Intrudor, Lucia was just hanging back with her arms crossed like she didn't care but inside she was going “I'm gonna be a witch! I'm gonna be a witch!”. Luz discovered the light glyph but Lucia came up with the idea of sticking it on the wall.

At the covention, Lucia saw Amelia and was actually gonna go over and be flirty bc Hot Witch Girl, but then she overheard her talking to Amity about her fighting Luz and instantly big sister mode. They got into a fist fight out back over “my sister’s better than yours.” their relationship after that is just Lucia constantly antagonizing Amelia and almost getting burned. Anna just stayed by the sidelines at the covention and Laia didn't see her until the very end, talked a bit and gave her the drawing b4 being dragged out by Eda.

Laia helped w/ the moonlight conjuring, but Lucia heard "night market" and sneaked off there. She didn't see Eda'z predicament but did run into Winona, who was making trouble and just being generally shady. Lucia helped her out with the shady business because why not and they were instantly friends, their friendship has a lot of Lucia going “you scare me sometimes.”

Laia went to the Library with Luz, she saw Anna just hanging out reading in the corner and immediately went over and sat by her. They were in Amity’s hideout sitting real close reading when Luz and the twins walked in, they left immediately, Anna red as a tomato.

The second Eda said body swap Lucia scooped Laia up and noped on out. It sounded fun to Lucia but for some reason she didn't feel comfortable subjecting Laia to that.

Laia and Lucia went with Eda when she talked to Bump abt enrolling them and just sat back and watched Eda clean up all her messes. Lucia was impressed.

Laia was just as excited to go to Hexside as Luz. But Lucia hated school, even magic school. She only decided to go to keep an eye on her sisters and fuck with Amelia.

Neither Laia note Lucia were interested in going to the Grudgby match. Laia stayed home and read (on the couch. She was so engrossed in her book she missed king walking out with half-transformed Eda) and Lucia went to hang out with Winona.

Laia and Anna worked together on a book for the writing contest. It won. Lucia wrote one too but it git rejected for being too graphic. It made one of the judges who read it start seeing a therapist.

All three went to the knee. Lucia went along with Eda'z crazy teaching because it seemed hysterical to her crackheaded mind, she missed the whole Slitherbeast thing bc she was off with moss in her ears, dirt over her eyes and pine needle mulch in her nose. Laia was incredibly disappointed that Anna wasn't there with the other blights. She didn't even try to stop Luz from stealing the wand bc she knew she wouldn't listen. She was just as impatient as Luz, just not rash. They figured out the ice glyph together.

Lucia chose the bard track in First Day bc she wants to be in a band. Laia couldn't choose just like Luz and got stuck in the Oracle Coven. Lucia got caught just like Luz and ended up in the detention track, Barkus was a bit more wary about her. She helped fight the basalisk I guess. Laia just stayed in class. Both Luz and Laia got to be in every track, Lucia chose only Bard, Beast Keeping and Illusion.

When Luz and co were shrunk at the carnival, Laia was off hanging out with Anna, and Lucia was doing something crackheaded with Winona. (Seriously, you could write such good fluff fics about Anna and Laia, and insane crack fics about Lucia and Winona.)

Idfk what Laia and Lucia were up top in Understanding Willow

Anna and Laia went to Grom together. They're such unassuming people that the only people who noticed were Eda and King bc they helped Laia get ready, and Amelia. Who had very mixed feelings bc 1- that's Lucia's sister, but 2- she actually kinda likes Laia and Luz.

Lucia begged Luz to let her take over as Grom queen but no dice. She ran to help too when Luz ran off but was too slow, she didn't get there until the very end of the dance.

Look, Laia is too much of a bookworm to care about sports and Lucia just thinks their stupid, so neither of them watched Luz play in Wing it like Witches.

Eda made cloaks for all 3 girls. Lucia and Laia were in the wrong year to go on the field trip to the emperor's palace. After school Laia went to the library with Anna and Lucia went to hang out with Winona. Laia and Anna fell asleep reading in Amity's secret room and Lucia and Winona lost track of time hanging out, neither got home until the next morning, and they found Luz crying on the floor.

Imagine with me, all 3 noceda girls breaking into the conformatorium to save Eda. All three wailing on Belos, Laia with a fuck ton of glyph papers, Luz with Eda's staff and some glyphs, and Lucia with a red aluminum bat covered in glyphs. They don't beat him but they do a lot more damage than just chiping his mask.

Imagine all 3 sisters agreeing silently to destroy the portal. For Eda.

[husky-boi]

It's Always Been You ~ Chapter 1

Summary: Husk grew up with the casinos of Vegas, and made his living there. This is the story of how he found the joy in life, and a reminder that sometimes true love transcends worlds

Ships: Huskniss (Husk x Arackniss)

A/N: Yell at me to add a read more break in exactly 4 hours. A gift for @im-not-an-alcaholicokmolly (still sorry for the angst)

-------------

Soulmates are connected, through time and space.

---

When Husk was growing up, he often bounced between families. He never liked the idea of being in a foster home, being traded between people that didn't want him, all while he waited to be found by his "true family". That was complete and utter bullshit, and almost every time, Husk took a few days of being well-fed, stole some cash, and ran off. During those weeks of freedom, before he was inevitably found, he often found himself hanging out in the casinos of his home town. Vegas, of course. He learned quickly how to pick the locks of the back door, where the cameras were at every major location, how to sneak food and alcohol out of the kitchens. Then he'd be found, and kicked out back to his old foster home. Within 24 hours, they'd tell him he was moving again.

It was a miracle when he turned 18, and they couldn't keep him there anymore. Husk may not have had a job, or a home, but he had a few hundred dollars tucked back in his pocket and knowledge of every street corner in the whole goddamn town. And then, he came to a very important realization: Husk was finally old enough to go into a casino legally, and play the games he'd always watched.

Of course, back then, he wasn't known as Husk. It was an 18 year old Charles, with no real last name, that walked into the Rose d'Oro Casino through the front doors for the first time. And this place, this was a slice of heaven. No ringing machines, no flashing lights. Just card games, poker, and dice. Oh, dice were the thing this place was known for. He could smell the familiar smoke in the air, and he could practically taste the expensive whiskey they kept all the way in the back.

"Do you need somethin', kid?"

Charles was snapped out of his daydream for only a second, giving an up and down look to the guard that was glaring at him. He was well aware he didnt look very old, but like hell was that going to stop him. ID, or not, he wasn't being kicked out this time.

"Yeah, I got money. Coming to play. S'there a problem with that?"

The guard stared at him for a few seconds before shrugging and walking off as Charles smirked. That's another benefit of this place: they didn't give two shits about how old you were, so long as you played by the rules.

Dozens of times he's watched people play poker games through the inside cameras of the security room. He'd learned the rules, the strategy, the straight face. So even when the dealer gave him a skeptical look, Charles was confident as he pushed forward all three hundred dollars he had. No chips here. Cold hard cash, or nothing.

Years and years of experience paid off, and Charles doubled his money on the first game. Then the second one. And the third. By that point, people were coming to the table just to add to the stack, because there was six month's rent for some of them on the table. And Charles won every game, heading out with a salute and five grand in his pockets. That'll get him a few nights hotel at least.

Charles didn't go back to that casino every day, but he went often enough to be noticed. It got to the point where he had to hide most of his money in the back alley of the casino, just so no one could pickpocket him like they tried to do so often. Unknown to him, though, the other gamblers weren't the only people watching.

On this particular day, Charles had found himself at the craps table. Next to poker, this was his favorite place to be, because this is where the rose die was always used. Gold and black dice were the icon of the casino, but this one had the one side carved into a detailed rose that was the symbol of the whole family that ran the place. The D'Amico family, to be specific. Everyone knew them, and despite Charles having never seen more than the owner and father walking around, you didn't stay long without hearing stories.

Even in a game of almost luck, he still won nearly every game. Charles was just about to collect his winnings and head out for the day, when another challenger appeared at the other end of the table, glaring at him.

"Sorry, bud, I'm out for the night-"

And he would have been, had this black-haired stranger not tossed down twenty grand on the table.

"How about some double or nothing?"

Their part of the room almost went silent for a few seconds. But hell, what did he really have to lose? Husk just shrugged and matched the bet on the table. "Get ready to lose, pal."

"Wouldn' count on that."

After a few rounds, no one was really surprised when Charles came out on top again. And then the challenger dropped another twenty thousand on the table, and so the game started again. And for the first time in a while, Charles lost.

"Best two out of three?"

It ended up being a best 16 out of 31, evenly matched the entire time, before Charles came out on top, twenty grand up from what he was before. To say the least, he was fairly impressed by this stranger, one that tossed the wad of cash at him with a scoff at the end of it. "Fair enough. Congrats."

Charles caught the cash easy, counting through it just to be sure it was real. At least, he would have counted it all, had his competitor not begun to walk away. Shoving the money in his pocket, Charles dashed to jump in his path, causing the other to stop in his tracks.

"You gonna give me a name after all that or just pay and walk?"

Dark eyes that looked almost red in this light glanced over Charles with seemingly skeptical eyes. "...Carlos."

"Carlos. Name's Charles. How 'bout I treat you to some drinks? Only fair, I'll use your money."

Charles couldn't read the expression on the shorter man's face as he just continued to stare. It was quiet, uncomfortably quiet, and jesus Christ can this guy just talk-

"So long as you're buying."

@purpletrash @silver-crowned-king @pretty-in-velvett @incorrect-hazbin-quotes @tophattippin @grape-scapegoat

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

I'm obsessed with your Descendants au for asoue, do you have any angsty headcanons for it?

DO I????? 

angst is literally my middle name my buddy my pal and like half the unfortunate gen are villain kids 

okay sO

First and foremost. Duncan probably has the worst parental relationship of the entire squad. He’s… very clearly not super evil, which does not make Maleficent treat him well. Isadora and Quigley realized this pretty quickly and basically took over raising him so he could avoid their mom for as long as possible 

The triplets are insanely protective of each other, and pretty much the only thing that can get Duncan mad is when someone’s trying to hurt Isadora or Quigley

Meanwhile, Fiona received little to no attention from her parents and was raised mainly by Fernald and a bunch of pirate teens. So basically her first instinct towards anything she doesn’t like is “stab.” This makes making friends very difficult 

And Carmelita and her Mom basically had the relationship of “either perfect mother and daughter or a nonstop screaming match and really it’s just a roll of the dice on what it’ll be this hour.” And her Dad, the King of Hearts, was basically just like. making sure nobody died, so she has an okay relationship with him, just not great bc he clearly cares more about pleasing the Queen than paying attention to Carm. 

Fiona and Isadora hated each other at first because they were basically both taught to value power above all else, and they didn’t like that someone else was closer to being a gang leader. So a lot of their interactions were originally very heated and ended with them almost killing each other. 

and that’s just isle stuff whoot then they get to auradon

It takes the kids a very long time to realize that anyone actually likes them. Especially Carmelita and Isadora. 

Duncan has panic attacks sometimes, when he messes something up. The only ones who can calm him down are his triplets or Klaus- or sometimes Friday, if she doesn’t panic. And he always gets very apologetic afterwards, which worries the Baudelaires quite a bit. 

Isadora is constantly trying to get everyone to focus on The Plan, but that slowly falls apart as they all realize that the Auradon kids are actually pretty cool and their home life kinda sucks. 

Carmelita has existential crises constantly bc her Mom convinced her that something princesses do is just marry someone of a higher status but she’s aromantic and still figuring that out so big oof until Klaus finally tells her there’s a word for what she’s feeling 

Quigley and Duncan both form crushes on Baudelaires so you BETTER believe that will be angst central 

Friday: You guys are like my cool big siblings :) Isle Kids: OH GOD OH FUCK 

also i’m rewriting like 99.9% of the dialogue from the films but u wanna know one bit i’m definitely keeping? that bit where ben takes mal on a date to the enchanted lake and the love potion washes off but ben realizes that mal jumped in the lake to save him even tho she can’t swim and it’s like… 

Violet: Quigley… I told you that I loved you. What about you? Do you love me?

Quigley, real quietly: …I don’t know what love feels like. 

[mayadile]

I don't know if I'm bothering you with this ask but has King Dice ever felt inner conflict at having an actual relationship for once in his life? Not that he regrets it, he's just never thought that it was possible? When he first started dating Connie, I mean, the absolute angel.......(I'm a hardcore Snake Eyes shipper but your art and ideas are so amazing......I was actually first introduced to the LGBTQ+ community by looking through your blog and I'm really thankful for it )

I DID WRITE A WHOLE BIG THING ABOUT THIS IN MY GOOGLE DOCS HOW EVERYTHING GOES AND HAPPENS WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!!! welp this is going to be long so lets pop in A READ MORE!!!

Ok so lemme give you some headcanons of mine HAHA so yes as you can see King Dice! He’s a big shot right? He can smooth talk his way to getting anything, it’s a talent of his! He attracts all sorts of people with his presence and he knows it! Working in the casino for years and years ( And stuff with King Dice’s backstory but that’s later but if you wanna know I can gladly write that for you too later! ) and being partners with the Devil himself, got a reason for it, being the right hand man, man got a rotten soul! Greedy,Egotistic,Nartisstic, etc ( I MEAN LISTEN TO HIS SONG! He basically thinks so highly of himself come on, even when working with the Devil he thinks noone can mess with him! ) Dice likes money and by god does he love making people’s life the worse! mostly playing around with toons he thinks deserve it...like you know he has so much charisma, he can talk anyone into anything, he has that face, smile, dapper look,HE’S GOOD LOOKING AS HELL!! he got an aura that draws you to him. Hard to see right through him but if you do, you’ll see some dark aura around the guy. He’s a nasty nasty man! manipulative and a snake HAHA everyone in inkwell knows him for that, pretty sure everyone in inkwell hates him.He’s very dedicated and devoted to his work, that was the deal, be here in the flames and rot, why not have some fun and pull in some suckers, that’s one thing him and the devil bond over and get along with, they love making deals and ruining lives. He can talk a drunk patron into playing a game and selling their soul, he can flirt his way into your heart and take your soul, he can be so friendly, start something with you and just break your spirit and take that damn soul of yours and act as if he had nothing to do with it and left you there speechless and does it give him pleasure to see the lights leave your eyes when you figure out when you notice you just fucked up your life into giving your soul to the big cheese! Hilarious! what a sucker! you really think you had a chance? you really think everything was going good for you here? Welcome to hell pal! Now that you see the negatives of King Dice, back to your question, yes it was confusing for him to ever have genuine feelings for someone, most of the time he plays around ya know? He can do whatever he’s the manager. I mean I’m pretty sure he had relationships before he got his soul taken from the devil! But guess all things were lose and consumed while working in the Casino, guess he didn’t have the need for it or thought it is necessary??? The only relationship he had all those years stuck in here was his partnership/friendship with the devil, don’t know if you can say it is a good friendship, but they are business partners??? same with his lackeys too! King Dice again thinks he’s a real catch, he knows toons fall for him and he likes the attention! But him attracted to someone he finds alluring as himself?? He can’t keep his eyes off? interested? curious? THAT’S A REAL RECORD SCRATCH, it confuses the absolute hell out of him.Like imagine being someone whos...King Dice and suddenly you start developing feelings? scary isn’t it? Chest starts to get heavy, your nasty nature turns into putty and you have birds singing, you want to see this person and hear their voice, you get tongue tied?? Something you never do? Mr.Big Bad Big Shot, Everyone adores me and hates me and this one person makes you weak to the knees!! an employee of yours? It’s terrifying for him and absolutely crazy, he doesn’t need this, he thinks he is better than that, love? HAHA WHO NEEDS THAT RIGHT? I’M THE GAMEST IN THE LAND WHO NEEDS THAT STUFF WHEN I HAVE ALL OF THIS AND-- Oh look Connie!Does he regret it? Nah, he actually likes it, it’s nice to feel something good! make that dark void in his chest sing and dance. His feelings towards Connie developed deep down since he did try to hide and deny it but coming from a guy who is actually a secret hopeless romantic it’s hard~ uhhh ok Dice’s first impression of Connie wasn’t good and mostly he thought that they were like every other magician, they do a image for themself but they’re actually nasty like why else would Connie come and also accept a job at the casino? He knows Connie isn’t a complete angel ( They were given a job at the casino for a reason and that reason is because the devil sees something in Connie he admires and so he lend them a hand and gave them the job here, Connie isn’t the ANGEL you all think they are, they’re actually awful lol but they repress feelings!  ) but getting to know them further ( if you wanna know how feelings develop Ill give you that too and when connie came to the casino! ) But! Connie has that something, that really attracts King Dice, they’re like light, lighting up the room with their booming voice and enthusiastic personality, makes the casino more alive and tolerable. Another small headcanon, of course I base King Dice very much of Cab Calloway, so he isn’t always a nasty dude ( i mean he is ) but he has that feel of always dancing about and singing~ Back then in his better life Dice had a band and wow does he miss it..( Locks all of his past memories in a box hidden in his office ).. Being around Connie makes him want to dance and sing ( which he does ) sometimes together he will tune his radio and play some songs and sing, Connie would join and dance along side with him, brings back memories and it’s a good thing since Dice hasn’t had a dance partner in YEARS and mostly someone who can catch up with his rhythm and be in sync and have the same energy. So yeah he never ever thought he would make it this far and have an actual loving relationship with someone, I mean Connie and Dice are both broken toons and both aren’t perfect and have some conflict but they do have such good chemistry and love one another to make it whole! ( Wow that was cheesy but these two can be cheesy :\ ) Again apologizes for my rambling and run off sentences .... remind you that this is one of my ever first oc/canon I was ever invested in and seeing people like it really make me happy since Im a nervous lad....There is alot to their story and again I will say, they are a slow burn, feelings slowly develop and mostly fully happen after the casino went to shit, but not saying they don’t mildly flirt before then ;o; just conflicted feelings all around...uh..im not a romantic writer guys but I can say I do love the effort I put in these two so if you want more info just tell me and I’ll do the best I can? THANK YOU!

[goy-bullshit-translator]

I'm not the anon who asked about Purim but what is the Purim story?

ALRIGHTY *cracks knuckles* I got off mobile and on desktop for this so you know it’s serious.

Purim Story: They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat. 

The year is 367 BCE. The town is Shushan, Persia. The scene zooms in on a large castle in the middle, big, decadent, just the right amount of finery and prestige for a king who’s a complete asshole. The king Ahashverous is sitting on his throne, lording over his subjects in the way only a completely pompous and detached king can. His wife Vashti is off in her rooms, chilling, doing something, enjoying her queenly life. King Ahashverous decides he’s in the mood to party, so calls up all his dudebro friends, they’re chilling, dancing, drinking, having a great time, when King A gets this great idea to call his wife Vashti down for a little entertainment, a little dancing for his guests. Wearing only her crown. So, for reasons obvious to all but the most entitled frat boy (Ahashverous), Vashti declines and refuses to do as he asked. He gets super pissed by this and demands her killed, which is promptly followed out. Vashti is out of the picture and villianized in children’s purim skits for eons to come. 

So the King is sitting there, having just disposed of his unruly wife, when he realizes he needs a new queen. Well shit, how’s he gonna get one on such short notice? He calls up his right hand man, his advisor Haman (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO), and tells him to go fetch all the women of Shushan, as he will hold a beauty contest and whoever wins will have the blessing of being the King’s wife. 

Enter Esther, a young Jewish girl, orphaned at a young age and who has grown up with her uncle Mordechai (THE JEWISH GUY), who works in the Palace. She’s young, sweet, innocent and pretty, so of course she’s a prime subject for the King’s beauty contest. She shows up, struts her stuff, and lo and behold, the king has a new wife! They get married, and she’s trapped in a world of pompous royalty and anti-semitism. Oh yeah, no one knows she’s Jewish. 

Meanwhile, Mordechai, on his daily trip to the palace, overhears two guards, gossiping about how they’re gonna murder the king, just gonna kill him brutally and painfully and all that good stuff. So, let’s be real, the king probably deserves this, but that’s besides the point. Mordechai is shocked and appalled, and rushes immediately to notify the court of this impending murder plot, the guards are taken and executed, and life goes back to normal. 

Mordechai continues his walk around his Shushan town, when he happens to cross paths with Haman (BOOOOOOOOOO). Haman, being the asshole he is, insists that everyone who he walks past must bow to him. Mordechai, being the Jew that he is, refuses. Now Haman fucking hates this. If Mordechai won’t bow to him, then all the Jews won’t bow to him, so he must not be the most important person in the world and that’s simply not permissible. So he sidles up to his personal pal the king and is like “hey. hey bud. hey my dude my pal there are people who don’t respect my authority or yours. They won’t bow to me what kind of filthy rats.” and the king’s all “holy shit there are people who wont bow to you we gotta do something!!” and H*man smiles and goes “yeah dude i got the perfect solution. Let’s just kill them. Kill them all. There’s no way that could go wrong.” And the king, (who’s probably still drunk), is like “Yeah dude sounds cool!!”, and willingly signs off on the order to murder all the Jews. Now, H*man is a little bastard who doesn’t give a shit about what he’s doing, so in order to decide when he’ll commit this mass murder, he rolls some dice, called Purim, to choose a date. (Hopefully you see the obvious connection to the holiday). The dice land on the 14th of Adar, the decree is made and sent out into the city, and the Jews of Shushan collectively go “oh fuck we’re gonna die.”

Back to our good pal Mordechai, who’s walking around Shushan again (he seems to go on a lot of walks), when he notices one of the posters declaring the murders of the Jews, and is like SHIT SHIT SHIT WAIT my niece lives in the palace. She’s the gotdamn queen. She’s gotta have some sort of power, right? So he runs over to visit Esther, and is like Esther sweetie babe please go talk to your husband please make him reconsider mass murder maybe? Thanks? and Esther’s all “what the fuck i haven’t seen my husband since the wedding if i enter his quarters without an invitation i’ll be fucking murdered” and mordechai, who’s had enough of his niece’s wishy washy shit, goes “YOU”RE GONNA GET FUCKING MURDERED ANYWAY IN CASE YOU FORGOT YOU ARE ALSO A JEW” and Esther’s like “okay yeah i’ll see what I can do.”

Zoom in on the king, who’s trying to go to sleep in his big kingly beds, and just can’t fall asleep. So instead of suffering through insomnia like the rest of us plebians, he calls for someone to read to him from the royal records, cause they’re so fucking boring they’ll have to put him to sleep. So one of his servants is doing so, and he stumbles upon the time when Mordechai saved his life. He realizes that Mordechai never actually got an award for all that snazzy shit, so calls in his boy Ham*n. “Hey. Haman. My dude my bro my man. If there was someone I really liked, who did a huge huge favor for me, like, yaknow, really helped me out, how should I reward him?” Haman, the stuck up brat that he is, of course things Ahashverous is talking about him, and so says “well…. i would dress him in the king’s finest robes and put him on the king’s finest horse and have someone parade him around the streets of Shushan yelling “THIS IS A MAN THE KING WISHES TO HONOR LOOK HOW GLORIOUS HE IS” and Ahashverous is all “dude you’re brilliant. Okay tomorrow afternoon, get that Mordechai dude and have this done to him. You’ll be leading the horse and yelling.” Haman realizes he fucked up. Haman reaaaaaaaaaaaaally hates Mordechai now. He hates him so much in fact, that he builds a set of gallows specifically for murdering Mordechai alone. 

Esther, meanwhile, is trying to build up courage to go see the King and explain the whole “I’m Jewish please don’t kill my people” issue. First, she fasts for three days to be ready, and asks all the Jews of Shushan to fast with her. Once those three days are up, she figures she can’t just waltz right in to his quarters and say “don’t kill me”, so instead she dresses up all fancy, and waltzes into his quarters with some fancy (skimpy) clothing on and an invitation to a party. The king is thrilled to be invited to a party, and manages to overcome his instinct for murdering his wives to accept the invitation. At the party, they’re chilling, they’re laughing, they’re having an all around wonderful time. when Esther goes to make an announcement. “Hem hem hem” she coughs. “I brought you here today for something very important.” Everyone is paying attention. “I’m having another party tomorrow night and you’re all invited!!!! And so is that Haman dude. Make sure he’s there. Really.” Well of course our frat boy king is delighted and agrees that he and Haman will absolutely 100% be there. 

Cut to the next night, where they’re at the party and Esther goes to make an announcement. “hem hem hem.” she says. The king gets ready for another party announcement. He loves parties “Someone” says Esther. “Someone, in this very room, is trying…. TO KILL ME!” Shock! Terror! Awe! Emotions! The party guests are very confused, until Esther gives the full explanation. “I’m a Jew… Haman’s a dick… etc.” So of course the King is so distraught, because he can’t have his lovely wife that he loves so very much (that he thinks looks hella hot) be murdered! But he’s also in a bind. Cause here’s the thing about kingly orders, like the one about killing the Jews. They can’t be undone or retracted. Looks like the Jews are still screwed. That is, until Mordechai gets this great idea. More murder. “Look.” he says. “People have been given legal permission to kill us. I propose you simply do the same. Write out a little kingly decree, saying that the Jews have the legal right to kill anyone who attacks them, and can fight for their lives. Then, it’ll just be a battle of the strongest and of course the Jews will escape just fine. We’re good at surviving.” The king, who’s really just a pawn at this point, is all “well that’s a MARVELOUS idea! Let me write up this order immediately, I’ll get right to it!” This second kingly order gets written, the decree goes out, and the 14th of Adar rolls around.

There’s mass murder. Everyone is fighting or killing or dying. Mostly goyim are dying though. The Jews successfully manage to protect themselves, keeping their culture alive, turning what was supposed to be a day of mourning into a day of wildly happy celebration, the Purim festival we know now. They also found and seized Haman, hanging him upon the gallows he built for Mordechai. And to this day, we eat hamentaschen to mock this fool’s hat/ears/pockets. Whatever we’re mocking, Haman was a dick who looked ridiculous. And we’re still here bitch, so ha. You lost. 

[thebrotherscupheadandmugman]

Double Z’s Fourth Follower Forever!!

Four hundred. Four hundred followers. When did I start this blog? December 13, 2017. That’s four months. Four months. My mind is literally blown rn guys. Ever since I was young, my only dream was to make people smile. I literally cannot even fathom that my words make at least 400 people do that. If you literally told me as a child that I would enjoy writing, I would never have believed you. 

Anyway, the follower forever is going under the cut this time, because the last thing I want is to clog people’s dashes asdghjk

Let’s start things off with the blog that inspired me to join the rpc in the first place. They were recommended to me while I was more active on my Team Skull OC blog, and I would see their writing and was inspired to join once I knew I wanted to write for Cuphead. Miles of @gamblingcxp @playerxwo @islandkitsu @team-strife @vulpinewarrior and probably more that I can’t think of! Miles is honestly such a sweet heart, and such a supportive bean! I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where we stand now with out them! They deserve all the love and support in the world!!

Next is @plate-of-blins! Some of y’all know how selective I am with OC’s, but Blinchik is so creative and the mun is a freakin’ cinnamon roll! Not to mention clever and smart! English is well known to be one of the hardest second languages to learn, yet she speaks it so fluently and comprehensively! She probably speaks it better than some people who are native English speakers! Her and her OC deserve more love and attention!!

@djimmi-the-great-and-powerful. I’ve gotta be honest. Back in December, Djimmi was a somewhat forgettable boss for someone who hadn’t played it yet. I usually remembered bosses from their music after I bought the soundtrack, and Pyramid Peril was probably my least favorite. But now Djimmi’s a character I really love! Puphead too! You will absolutely adore their Puphead! Sweet wooden boi!! Mun is just an absolutely fantastic person too! Whether you need someone to laugh and make fart jokes with, or you need someone to give you advise, djimmi-the-great-and-powerful is a great partner and friend!! Mun also runs @askredwoodfamily and @the-devils-waiter

@askcupheadthings. Sweet boi. Sweet mun. Whether you need some angst in you life or ketchup, Taco Taako has got you freakin’ covered!! What can I really say about Taco Taako that hasn’t already been said? We may have disagreeing headcanons, but the fact that they are willing to make compromises and work with their partner is glorious! I personally think that’s what every partner should do when it comes to familial characters! Not only that, but they will go out of their way to make sure their partner is comfortable, which is so so important and admirable!! Taako also runs @boristwolf @agentlemanlyscientist @devilish-dishes @merman-cuphead @barry-boxington-the-box-kid @a-home-for-broken-mugs and @the-real-clockwork-queen

I know that @easyriches is on hiatus until they get out of school, but their mun is the frickin’ best! They’re so supportive and will never fail to make you laugh. Or scream. Usually at memes. Heck, they managed to start a war over “Milk and Cookies” vs “Cookie and Milk”...needless to say, I ended up firing them from cookies. They also combined Squeesh and Cronch to create ‘squonch,’ which I later found out upon listening to the sound effect for Goopy’s fight that it was the perfect onomatopoeia for a slime getting crushed by a tombstone falling from the sky. Who knew?

@cutieunderthesea is such a love honestly! I know we don’t talk or interact much, but I seriously love them, and love seeing them pop up in my activity feed! English is also their second language, but you probably wouldn’t have guessed that if they didn’t say so on their blog!! They’re much smarter than me, and they’re also learning how to code and stuff, which I think is really cool! They also run @sent-from-above

@dxmonsxcarnival is such a great friend that looks out for you!! I genuinely feel bad that our threads tend to get dropped before they even get started, but honestly, even if you don’t role-play much they are still a great person to talk to! I mean they keep a folder of cat images for their internet friends when they need a pick-me-up! How awesome and thoughtful is that?! They also run @shyxbrotherxmxgman and @scaredxsightless

@bashfulreptile and I haven’t known each other long, but I really like the way they portray the dragon bean!! I hope we talk more and have more threads in the future!!

@do-or-dice and I think so much alike when it comes to striving for accuracy of the times!! I even headcanon that the events in the game take place in 1934, making this blog take place in 1935- which just so happens to also be the same year that they write in! They’re super fun to share headcanons with too! I know I suck at talking friend, but I hope we interact more in the future!!

@inthediehouse aka @hornedheathen! So much potential for angst! I know I haven’t interacted with you Dice much, but I hope to change that at some point!! I really love our threads together and I hope these two fools can butt heads more in the future!!

@devilishcrybaby I know we haven’t known each other long as well, nor have we had many consistent threads, but I can just tell we’ll get along just great!! 

@cala-marix is such a sweetheart too! Sweet and caring! I’m so glad whenever I see them on my dash no matter what blog they’re using! Whenever I see cat photos on my dash I can’t help but think of them! Good friend! They also run @rxmor-honeybottomx

I think this’ll be my cutoff on saying nice things because it’s been almost two hours since I started this I think. I’m only going to mention their personal since they run so many Cuphead side-blogs and I don’t know them all. I know they caused a bit of controversy a little while back, but given their young age, I’d say it’s more than excusable, and definitely worth giving them a second chance. @eye-tossing-ghostie is really such a nice person to talk to- again even if you don’t end up doing much role-playing. They’re kind and caring and they try their best to be calm and understanding. They really do mean well, and I think they deserve more patience than I see them get. They really are a nice kid, but they’re still growing an learning. I consider them a friend, even if we don’t talk or interact much.

Hold on to your butts cuz we ain’t done yet.

Cuphead: @impvlsive-gxmblcr @porcelainjokers @confidentcuphead @twocupsandacontract (I believe I’ve mentioned the others I’ve interacted with already?)

Mugman: @merrymugsy @porcelainjokers @twocupsandacontract(Again I’ve already mentioned the rest)

King Dice: @six-sided-sinner @snakeiis @gamest-intheland @diceptixn

Root Pack: @psycarota

Goopy le Grande: @bnlgoopywooper

Cagney Carnation: @getouttatherosebush @txtaldomination @twocupsandacontract @sillycxrnxtion 

Ribby&Croaks: @wrongsidefthelilyp4d

Hilda Burg: @a-threatenin-zeppelin

Djimmi the Great: @its-your-pal-djimmi

Baroness Von Bon Bon: @notyoursugarqueen

Wally Jr: @juniorwarbles

Beppi the Clown: @inkwellharlequin (Mentioned the rest I believe?)

Brineybeard: @drunkensxilor

Cala Maria: @highseachighjinxs (mentioned the rest)

Werner Werman: @muriinecorps @vermin-veteran @rat-in-a-can

Dr. Khal: @whoyougonnakahl

Phantom Express: @blxndspxctcr

Casino Bosses: @wheezycigar @rxssian-roulette @poker-chip-cowboy @melty-8ball

Devil: @casinx @whenyouareevil (I know there’s way more but I either can’t find them or already mentioned them)

Demon Cups/Mugs: @goodmugbadmug @diabolical-ceramics

OCs: @cxrtoon-hxnter @saltyocsrp @hellssecretary @doggone-doneit @claireinette @polaroidxcamera @williamstripes @rollthediceheads @drumline-doom @cupfull-o-muses

Whew!! That was a lot!! Now some may be missing because I have the memory of a gnat, and others may have gone on hiatus. There were a couple of people on here that I was going to mention but then I remembered they were on hiatus for one reason or another. So if I mentioned a blog that’s no longer active, I really apologize for that. If I forgot to mention you, I also apologize for that.

That being said, that y’all so much again for 400!! Next follower forever happens at 800!! We can totally do this guys!! I love you all so much!

~ Double Z))