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evendeadlmthehero · 5 years ago

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The Sun and The Moon

(Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader)

Episode I: The Timeline of Romeo & Juliet Part One

Summary: “You were one of the 12 Padawans that Luke Skywalker taught. There, you met the love of your life. Your first best friend, your first lover and your first Boyfriend; Ben Solo. Everything was perfect. That is, until the Jedi Temple was burned by Ben himself. 5 years pass since you last saw him and he isn’t the man you used to know. The Moon preferred darkness and in that darkness, Kylo Ren was born.”

Warnings: some swearing, murder and mental illness. Also, Rey is not in this and I won’t follow the exact plot of the triology.

The Sun and The Moon Masterlist

Ultimate Masterlist

6 Years Old

“My patience wears thin so I will say this one more time,” a man spoke, his face not visible from your point of view. You held your breath and hid beneath the floorings, just like your mother told you to. You saw the feet of two Stormtroopers take a step towards your mother, their guns raising up. “Give us the one who was promised, the one you call Saviour, and we’ll be on our way. Failure to comply will result in death. Your death.”

Your six-year-old heart beated rapidly as you watched on from below. Your hair was an unruly mess and dirt covered your face. You were trying your best not to move, afraid you’d be in front of what you assumed were the ‘bad guys’. “She’s not here, I already told you. The Saviour is but a rumour, a myth. You are wasting your time.”

It was your fault. If only you had kept your ‘powers’, as your mom called them, hidden. She told you, no she demanded, that you mustn’t ever use them. And you did. But it wasn’t your fault.

You see, the village’s bully had thrown your doll on top of the tree. When you thought no one was looking, you managed to use the force to bring it back towards you. You didn’t understand this ‘power’ you had, you were but a small child. But your mother did. And she did everything in her power to keep it hidden.

But the fact is, someone was watching. In particular, it was the old lady who lived across from you. She was from the unfortunate end of the riches scale and had clothes with multiple stitches across the fabrics.

The man chuckles, walking over to your mother. He places a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, your mother flinching as his finger makes contact with her skin. The grip of your hand on the doll tightens in fear. “You scavengers are so gullible. Did you really think your own neighbours wouldn’t rat you out for a couple of credits?”

Your mother’s eyes widened, now shaking her head rapidly. “Please, please, please don’t do this! She’s just a little girl! Don’t you understand that the Dark Side is not the way of life! It’s not too late to change sides, you can still follow the light!”

“The light,” the man started, circling around your mother before the clicks of the guns that the Stormtroopers held rung across the room. “Is a joke. You want to bring balance to the world yet you use weak, primitive methods to reach the objective. And where did that lead to exactly? The exitinction of the Jedi? The rise of the First Order? The light is pathetic and weak.”

He then takes a step back before looking at the Stormtroopers, nodding his head. Multiple shots rang, before a ‘thud’ was heard. And there she was. Your mother. On the floor. The women you raised you, the women who would rip her own clothing just to make you a blanket, was now gone. “Hopefully I get a promotion for bringing in the stupid little girl.”

Tears streamed profusely down your face as your mother’s face fell exactly in the flooring in which you were hiding under. You held the doll against your mouth, desperate not to let out a squeak, desperate not to cry in case you might reach the same fate as your mother. “Search every inch of this place. The child must be here-“

“General! Luke Skywalker has penetrated our defences! I repeat, Luke Skywalker has-“, the transmitter went silent. The General let out a groan, smashing the transmitter against the wall. Pieces of the machinery fell against the wall as the General breathed in and out heavily.

“Let’s get out of here before that mongrel catches up to us!” He yelled at the Stormtroopers, before storming out, stepping on your mother’s back on the way out. Your hands were shaking and when you heard a plane fly away, you let out the first of many sobs.

You got up from your position, running over to the secret door on the floor. You opened it before climbing out and rushing towards your mother’s now cold and soulless body. “Mom?Mom! You have to- you have to get up! P-please mommy! You- you have dinner to make, a-and then we go shopping mommy. You promised mommy, you promised.”

But your mother did not respond, making you cry even more. As a child, you did not know exactly what this meant. You did not know that it was impossible for your mother to open her eyes and look at you one more time. “Mommy please! You can wake up from sleepy time, the bad man is gone now.”

You heard the door slowly creak open, making you jump back in fright. You were shakingly violently, hugging the doll in fright. A foot stepped in, before a man with a grey beard and unruly hair walked in. You then ran in front of your mother, trying to protect her. “Go away! You can’t hurt mommy! I have powers so you- you should be very scared!”

The old man smiled at you, putting his hands up to show you he was not going to hurt you. That he was but a friend and not a foe. He looked at you in sadness as he saw your mother’s dead figure lying on the floor.

“Hello Y/N. My name is Luke Skywalker.”

One Week Later

You sat by yourself at the Jedi Temple, eating a bowl of steamed rice. After a week of travelling in harsh, hot conditions with Luke Skywalker, you finally found yourself able to rest on a rock carved as a seat and a table made out of the erosion of limestone from the sea.

You heard the chatter of some Padawans who were laughing and talking with one another, obviously having known each other for a year or so. You were a late Padawan, but as Luke had said, it did not matter. His own father, Anakin, trained to be Jedi at the age of 9, three years later than yourself.

It was your first day and you had yet to make new friends. It’s not like you wanted to anyway, after what you have been through. You were now very wary when meeting new people, especially people who were three times your age like Luke himself. You’d always analyse your environment, trying to see if any threats surrounded your peripheral vision.

“Can you believe it Almec? That Solo boy killed a bird! How is he still training to be a Jedi?” A boy cried as he walked inside the temple with his friends, holding a bowl of rice. “He should be expelled! He has no care for life or the ways of the Jedi!”

“Luke is obviously deseperate for more Jedi’s if he’s allowing a murder like him to train with us,” another boy spoke, who you assumed was Almec. He had daring green eyes and devilish brown hair. He looked at you as he walked by, making you quickly look down at your food in embarrassment, red prominent on your cheeks. Him and his friends then took a seat a table away from you. “He’s only getting special treatment because he has Skywalker’s blood in him.”

Deciding you were done with your food, you got up and walked inside the kitchen, placing your bowl near the sink. After you were done washing up your bowl, you walked back inside the eating area and headed towards the exit. As you were walking out, you made eye contact with Almec. This time he gave you a small smile in which you returned before hurriedly out of the Temple and into the environment.

You breathed in the fresh air as you slowed your pace, desperate to take in the serene environment around you. The Jedi temple was located in an empty piece of land with endless vast of grass. There were also trees that grew amongst the edge of the island and some in the centre and around the temple.

There were also huts the surrounded the temples and were scattered around the island. There was 8 to be exact. All Padawans were paired with another of the same sex in each hut. Luke had his own hut and because you had just came yesterday, you got your own hut all to yourself.

‘I can’t save it,’ you heard a voice in your head speak. You stopped in your tracks, confusion filling your mind. It wasn’t just confusion, it was fear. But it wasn’t your own. You then looked into the forest and felt it calling you, felt it calling your name. So you started walking towards the forest.

‘I can’t save it,’ you heard the same voice speak. You then realised this wasn’t someone talking, but it was someone’s thoughts. Specifically, a boy’s thoughts. You wandered into the forest, hearing the ocean far away hitting the rocks. You kept walking, looking around to find something, someone.

‘I can’t save it.’

‘Save what,’ you kept thinking, as you moved the branches of trees away from your face in order to progress further. You then stopped, seeing a mop of black hair. His back was towards you, holding something in his hand.

You felt an instant connection towards him. You felt like you had to protect him and that you could trust him with your life. It was weird, because someone had just murdered your mother yet here you are, willing to trust a stranger.

It seemed like he had felt it too as he quickly turned around, his eyes now on you. Your eyes widened in shocked, now scared that he caught you looking at him. But that was quickly forgotten when you saw a dead bird in his hands, it’s wings chopped off. You let out a scream, moving backwards. Your legs however tripped over a branch on the floor you did not see, making you fall in the ground.

You were about to run away before you heard his voice, in particular, the voice you heard in your head just minutes ago. “Wait please! Please! It- it isn’t what it looks like!”

You then looked at him, your breathing still erratic. You were scared but somehow you felt like you should stay, like you should listen to what he had to say. He then gulped, taking a step forward. This had made you crawl backwards, trying to keep distance. The boy had seen this and felt a rush of pain within his heart. He did not what you to be scared of him like the others. He did not know you, but you were new. He had a chance to finally form a friendship and he messed it up.

“My- my name is Ben. I found the bird dead, it’s wings chopped off. I- I think it was an animal that did this,” he explained, looking at you directly in the eyes. He then took a step forward and this time you did not move back. “I’m trying to- I’m trying to save it. I heard about this power where a Jedi could heal things and I thought I could do it too. Apparently I can’t do that, I can’t do anything right and now you are probably scared of me like everyone else-“

You watched as the 8 year old boy rambled on and on, seeing the look of rejection and desperation in his eyes. It seemed that Ben was used to it now, the rejection. But still, that didn’t stop the pain and feeling of unworthiness that tagged along with it. You got up from the ground, with Ben still rambling about how he was trying to save the bird.

And you believed him. So to save him and you from the misery of his rambling, you decided to cut him off.

“I’m Y/N.”

13 Years Old

You breathed heavily as you dodged the incoming lightsaber that swung above your head. You then brought your lightsaber close to you, attacking your opponent. Your lightsabers both hit each other at the same time, letting out a loud mechanical hum.

“Careful, you’re going to break my ‘saber,” Ben joked, dodging your attacks. Luke and the other Padawan’s watched on as the both of you battled each other. It almost looked poetic how you both fought, it looked indentical. Both of you had the same fighting stance, offensive and defensive moves. You both matched each others steps like dancing partners.

“It’s ugly anyway,” you replied before taking steps back. You then ran towards him, Ben readying up to defend himself. As you came close to him you slid down, using the back of the lightsaber to hit the back of his knee. This threw Ben out of balance, causing him to fall and within a secound you stepped on his chest, the lightsaber now in close proximity to his neck. “I win.”

The Padawans all clapped expect Almec and his friends who watched. Almec felt a rush of jealously fill his body. For 7 years, Almec has been trying to speak to you, trying to be your friend. The 15 year old boy would be lying if he said he did not feel an attraction towards you. You were gorgeous, had a blinding smile and a beautiful sense of justice and leadership. But somehow, you only looked at Ben, not him. Ben was your closest and only friend and because of this, Almec resented the raven-haired Padawan.

He always found himself competing with Ben, trying to one-up him all the time. Trying to impress you. But you only had eyes for the Solo boy. Everyone in the Jedi Temple can smell the testosterone battle between Ben and Almec whenever they were up against each other during training, exams and learning of the force. But Ben had always been the best student, only secound to yourself.

Luke Skywalker got up from his feet, making you and Ben take a knee out of respect. You were both panting from the sparring match you had both just partook in with each other. “Master, we hope you are proud with our progression.”

“You are both holding back on your hits,” Luke had spoke, causing all the Padawans to stop clapping and go quiet. “It is obvious you both cannot un-bound yourself from wordly attachments due to the clinging need of emotional attention and devotion from each other. You both are therefore banned from sparring with each other.”

“But Master Luke-“ you protested, getting up from your position. Ben stayed in his position, an angry look on his face like it was to be expected from the Skywalker man.

“I don’t want to hear it!” Luke had spoken, getting up from his position. You looked down, your cheeks reddening in embarrassment for being told off in front of everyone. “It is final. Ben you will now spar with Almec and Y/N you will now spar with Lierra. This will persist until the remainder of your Jedi training.”

Luke looked at you both one last time before turning around and walking out the door. All the Padawans got up and begun leaving the room. Almec in particular had a little smirk on his face as he left the room. You looked at Ben who was staring and the floor in anger and fury. You shook your head, chasing after your master who had left the room.

“Master Luke!” You called out as you saw his retreating figure down the hall. Luke let out a sigh, stopping in his tracks before turning around to face you. He then lifted his eyebrows up, waiting to listen to what you have to say. “I think- I think Ben Solo has been a great sparring partner. I really feel like I’ve progressed with him and I’ve learned a lot-“

“I’m doing this for your own safety,” Luke cut you off, your face now slowly filling with confusion. Luke let out a second sigh, shaking his head. “Y/N, I consider you as one of my own and I give you this one advice. Stay away from him. I know he’s my nephew, but he’s erratic and there’s anger in him. I’m trying- I’m trying to do my best to bring out the light in him, but I don’t want you to be involved in the process. It’s too dangerous. Try being friends with Almec. He’s a good boy.”

You clenched your jaw, your body filling with anger. “His mother and father dispose him in this Temple and his own Uncle talks ill of him. How ridiculous. You should all be ashamed of yourself, depriving a boy of love and support. I will stay friends with him and I’ll always be there when he needs me to be. Thanks for your advice Master Luke, but no thanks.”

You then bowed quickly, before running back towards the sparring room, desperate to see Ben. When you walked back inside the room, you found Ben still in a kneeling position. You rushed towards him before bending down to his level. “Ben, are you okay?”

“He is such a selfish old man!” Ben spoke, finally getting up from his position. He then started pacing around the room, his fingers running through his hair. You stood up, watching him. “He saw how powerful we were together, how well we fought together! And he separated us!”

“Ben, maybe he was right. We were holding back on each other and we won’t progress if we keep holding back-“

“Even when we’re holding back Y/N we are stronger than all the other Padawans! Fuck, we are stronger than all the past Jedi’s combined! You realise what we can achieve together Y/N? We can start the trials now! We can be the youngest Jedi’s to ever exist! We can singlehandedly take over the Galaxy if we wanted to and that frightens him!” He yelled before punching the wall and creating a dent. He then felt a hand on his shoulder, your hand on his shoulder.

“Ben, you must not think like that. We must obey Master Luke and listen to his words of wisdom even though we might not agree with it. Anger leads to the dark side,” you spoke gently, your thumb rubbing circles on his shoulder. Ben closed his eyes, focusing on your touch. He felt himself slowly calming down. That’s what you always did, you helped him calm down, you brought the light back into him whenever anger had consumed him.

He always thought that he was the moon and you were the sun. Without you, he’d be lost in the void of darkness. Without you, he would not be able to see the light.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” his voice cracked as his shoulder slumped down. You nodded at him, giving him a hug. He closed his eyes, breathing in your addictive and heavenly scent. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

•

You sat on top of the temple as you and Ben tried to forget what had happened earlier. You both usually did this when everyone else was sleeping; sneak out and look at the stars, the planets. It was a nice getaway from all the Jedi nonsense and responsibilities that tag along with the title.

“Can I tell you something Y/N?” Ben spoke, lifting up his head and placing it on his hand to face you. You turned around with a smile, also facing him.

“You can tell me anything,” you spoke. Ben watched as the moon reflected against your eyes, giving you an ethereal look. His face turned red as the intensity of your eyes, your beauty, was too much from him. You gave him this weird feeling inside of him and he felt a strong connection, a link, with you.

“Are you- are you scared of me?” He asked, his voice small as he was scared of your reply. You looked at him in shock, shaking your head at him.

“No, why would you ask that?”

“I heard Master Luke speak to you, telling you to watch out,” He replied back, looking at his hands in vulnerability. “I try, you know. I try to be the best I can be. But when your own mother is scared of you, when your own Uncle warns people of you, it’s just-“

“Disheartening?” You finished for him. He clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his emotion as he silently nodded. You then grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I think that everyone was wrong to do that. Your mother, your father and your uncle are so wrong about you Ben. You’re an amazing guy. You’re sweet, compassionate, a leader and a hero. You shouldn’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.”

‘You are amazing,’ he also heard you say, but your mouth didn’t move. He was confused, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him. But then he realised it was your thoughts. It was a Jedi Power, to be able to read minds. However, you were the first person he could ever read the mind of, which threw him off.

“Thank you,” Ben replied back after a while, shaking his thoughts of reading your mind out of his head. However he did it, he didn’t want to do it again. He felt like he was invading your privacy. “You are the only person who’s ever been there for me, who’s ever cared. And I owe you an eternal debt that I know could never be repaid-“

You interrupted him, smashing your lips against him. This took Ben by surprise, now too frozen to reply respond to your kiss. He couldn’t think properly, let alone move. He couldn’t stop thinking about your soft, wet lips against his, grazing his ever so delicately. He felt all the nerves within him fire, this being his first ever kiss, now imprinted forever in the back of his mind.

But right as soon as he was going to kiss back, right when his thoughts finally made sense, you had pulled back. He felt the coldness from the absence of your lips. He was so close, just a secound longer and he would’ve replied back to your kiss. But he was too late.

“I’m- I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to-“ you begun before letting out a groan as your whole face went red. You did not know what had gotten over you. He was just rambling, looking dashing as ever and you had an instinct, an impulse. “Oh god, this is so embarrassing! I mean, I can’t believe I just kissed you!”

You didn’t mean anything by that last statement, but Ben felt a deep pang inside his chest. The anxiety and depression had further grown tenfolds within him and he felt like the most unwanted living thing in the world. Ben retracted back, finding it hard to breathe.

Was kissing him really that bad, he had thought. Were you really repulsed and turned off from him that kissing him that it was unbelievable and disgusting?

“Can we- can we just forget this happened please?” You asked him, removing your hands to look at him. Ben couldn’t speak so he just nodded at you, gulping. You nodded back before getting up in a hurry. “Well, I’m pretty tired so I’ll just head to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast?”

Ben nodded for the second time today as he watched you quickly scurry off. He then lifted his hand up, his fingers grazing against his lips. He could still feel your lips against him, like a ghost. Him not being able to kiss you back will forever play as nightmares in his sleep. It was his one and only chance to kiss you and now he will never taste your lips ever again.

When you were finally out a sight, Ben clenched his jaw, smashing his fist against the roof beneath him. He then looked up at the sky, feeling isolated and outcasted.

‘Did you really think you might actually have a chance with her?’ He had heard a voice call out, this time a male. He quickly got up, now alert. He pulled out a lightsaber, now in attack mode as he kept spinning around to try to find the source of the voice.

“Who are you!” Ben had called out, feeling fear at the sound of the voice. He then gulped, seeing that there was no one in sight. Wind blew against leaves on the trees, making a rustling sound. There was an owl hooting meters away from him.

‘You will soon find out, my young protégée.’

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animus-inspire-archive · 3 years ago

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❣ for a caught in the rain kiss // early ScarReeve kiss in the rain HUH

He was still finding his footing in the Executive Board, twenty-two years old and perhaps too idealistic, Reeve nonetheless has found sanctum in the most unlikely of places. His relationship with another young Director across the table should not have come as much shock. Once folks got past the ‘she’d absolutely eat him alive’ assessment, that is. Scarlet was an engineer like him, was one of the few people who could grasp what he thought about, not to mention how he thought about everything. She could even build upon his visions and challenge him past his usual boundary lines, just as he could do the same for her.

And whilst it was true that their creative outputs could not be more different - where he dealt largely with construction, she mostly crafted weapons of destruction - their workstreams nonetheless regularly overlapped. Whether it was for discussions of defense of the main Shinra cities, or the intricacies of lifestream viabilities and its use in both mako and materia production. It had been natural that they had been assigned to work together at times, and work they had. Long, hard days. Sometimes into the mako nights. Theirs was the kind of effort that Reeve would claim not to wish upon his worst enemies but which he actually coveted, for they usually came out of the toil as if born anew; flush with a breakthrough or drenched through with sweat, throats hoarse from all the possibilities.

Yet he was still finding his footing in the Executive Board, and was most definitely not used to this. He is not sure he ever wanted to be. Talk has turned from their standard reporting, the sensical and rational, to the supposedly scientific. But Reeve hears no rigors of scientific merit currently spewing from the mouth of the Professor, as he once again goes over the loss of one of his most precious specimens just two years earlier. Now he is restating his attentions onto a mere child, the daughter.

Hojo sneers, clearly not pleased, but concludes that Aerith is at least worthy enough. In carrying some DNA of the Ancients she is better than nothing and maybe of use as some kind of breeding mare when she is of reproducible age. He drips a fable from his curled lips, a promised land before the President. And President Shinra, despite the fact he used to be an engineer himself and being well aware that the Professor cares little for infinite energy except what is needed to power his own experimentations, laps it up. Aerith is to be found and brought back to Hojo.

Reeve feels nauseous for so many reasons, but his eyes are fixed firmly ahead. Not looking at the Turk Director, nor the woman who has become his lover. He tries to ignore how her tapping - usually their secret, playful code within the meeting - is fracturing desperately out of rhythm. When the meeting ends, the President calls him over to clarfiy some points and by the time they are done, all the other Executives are gone and only Veld remains. The Turk Director accompanies him out of the room and down the corridor, silence hanging over them like the status effect; a straining ‘ ... ‘ lingering in the air. When they reach a particular junction, Reeve whips round on his heels, breaking the hush.

“Where is she?”

Veld shakes his head, “I thought you’d know that better than me, kid.”

“Hellfire and damn it!” Reeve hisses and clenches his hands at his sides, “It’s a child, Veld, a young girl!” He wants to find Scarlet but he is struck into place by the Turk’s almost apathetic cool calm. Felicia would have to be four years old by now? As a man with a daughter, how could he stand there so impassive, not when he knows-

“Reeve.” Veld’s voice cuts through in clear warning not to even go there, and Reeve shudders in spite of himself, exhaling out of his nose sharply.

“’right, okay. Ah get it. Ye’re not bleedin’ psychic.” Accepting bitterness drips from his tone but he still has to fight back the inadvisable impulses that are clamouring up his insides. Veld has already told him that Scarlet did not want to know. She felt it would be safer that way.

Reeve paces then shakes his head again, “I can’t just stand here doing nothing...” He’s already five steps away by the time Veld has said he would text if he hears anything. A grunt is all the Turk Chief gets in reply.

It takes him the better part of remainder of the day to find her. The gloom of a Midgar night falling heavier as the forecasted storm hits right on cue, punctuated only by the occasional burst of lightning and the venting plumes of green high above. Most other nights Reeve would still be in the tower, and if it had been one of the nights he occasionally gives himself off, he would most definitely have remembered his umbrella. He had only just read the meteorological report before the Executive Board meeting after all - a standard safety precaution for Mako reactor functioning.

At this moment in time however, he is drenched through to the bone, all thoughts of umbrellas and work cast aside as blinks through the rain at the scarlet clad figure stood at the building’s ledge. Arms curled in around herself. Over her stomach.

This was a rooftop they had shared a picnic upon, on a day far sunnier than what was streaming down from the heavens right now. Scarlet had pretended she could see Junon, far off into the distance, and had drawn him a remarkable rendition of the coastal town, replete with her Sister Ray dominating the horizon. He had praised her eye for detail and had joked he could secure her a part time position as a junior in the Architectual department.

It takes Reeve far too long to realise why Scarlet was here right now, thoughts of her surprisingly soft laughter and golden hair in the sunshine his predominant memories of that time. But this had also been the place she had first told him of Anya. Her daughter.

He steps forward, not afraid of the height or the shallow distance to the edge upon which they are both standing but instead what might happen if he does or say the wrong thing. Scarlet turns to face him, head tilted slightly up towards the sky. Any moisture from tears indistinguishable from the rain. Reeve cannot think of anything he could possibly say so instead he reaches out and holds her face in his hands, drawing her closer towards him. Pressing his forehead to hers first, he hears a hitched breath escape her still painted lips, her other makeup having all but run off but for certain smudges here and there. Her lashes are thick with moisture, not mascara, and her violet eyes are hazy instead of bright as they look back at him. She looks more lost than he has ever seen.

Still no words come out. Drawing her in by his palms, he presses his mouth against her own. A communication of everything he wants to say, offered up in soft, deseperate movements of lips, like a prayer whispered. His own breath is shaky, as hers is utterly wracked, and the rivulets of the rainwater is spilling in through the gaps. It tastes like his city and the salt of her tears. Reeve swallows it all down, then kisses her once more, folding her tight into his arms against his chest

“I love you, Zaria.” Reeve does not know if Scarlet can even hear him from within protective bracket of his body as the storm still rages overhead, but he whispers it into the night nonetheless, “C’mon. Let’s get you back to Sector 7, inside and dry.” They can deal with the rest afterwards.

Provided they were together, he thinks, they could face anything...

@madamdirectcr

#Scarlet || alone but loaded; you and me #hoo boy #this took on a life of its own #and I had the gym in between #*huff puff*#he's so naive bless him #abubububu #sinday special

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Loud House Season 5 Catchup (Blinded by Science, Band Together, Season’s Cheatings, A Flipmas Carol) or Of Mutants, Medicority, Merryment and Money

Merry Christmas everybody! And it’s Christmas Week so expect christmas out the jingle jangle for the next few days. And starting us off is something long overdue as coverage of the Loud House FINALLY resumes just in time for christmas. Yes it’s been over a month since the last episode and while i’ve covered two holiday episodes since then, I haven’t gotten back to season 4 despite, like Ducktales and Amphibia, it being on my roster. The answer why: I had a ton of comissions coming in, and other projects going on including ducktales coverage, so I kept putting off banned together/blinded by science for weeks.. until they coldied right into Season’s Cheatings and a flipmas carol. So yeah this one’s way too late and I will TRY not to have this happen again. I can’t promise they’ll be same day of or right on time as unlike Disney and Cartoon Network who are really good about putting their stuff on the app same day or that morning or streaming services which I own so.. yeah, Nick likes to take their sweet time sometimes and isn’t as steady with their release schedule. It’s why I ended up deciding not to do regular coverage of the casagrandes, though don’t be suprise if it shows up here on occasion as I sitll like it quite a bit. Nick is just a pain in the ass to deal with. Point is it’s here now and in time for the holiday season so i’ve delayed this long enough. Let’s get back to Season 5 after the cut

Blinded by Science:

So yeah... i’m just going to say it.. this season.. has been fucking weird.

I mean sure there’s been plenty of normal episodes: The Boss Maybe, Strife of the Party, Kernel of Truth, Banned Together, Season’s Cheatings. There are more normal standard Loud House episodes than the weird ones... but that just makes out how looney some episodes have gotten stick out MORE. I mean among episodes tackling Leni struggling to step into Lori’s true, an obnoxious party despute, a news antics episode, Luna dealing with her career, and a holiday shenanigans episodes.. we’ve also had Lincoln get shipped off to Canada for an episode, Lincoln thwart a supervillian plot, Lori learning her school has a friendly ghost caddy that everyone who goes there knows and just accepts like that’s a normal thing, and with two of today’s episodes, Flip being some kind of monsterious miracle of science or possibly having an x gene we don’t know and then being visted by the ghosts of christmas past, present and future, who for no explained reason look and act like Lisa, Lincoln, Clyde and Lucy.

I mean I can stretch disbelief for a lot of cartoons and i’m fine with it. Lisa does it pretty much on concept. But stretching things a bit for a joke is fine.. but it’s gotten to the point where the plots have gone from grounded slice of life stuff to really weird high concept stuff and it’s really hard to tell if this is going to work or not as Schooled and Family Bonding were not great, especially the latter, Ghosted was pretty good, Flipmas Carol was okay and this one... is decent. So it’s two good, two bad and one neutral. It’l take smore more episodes to see if this is a good thing or not.. I was leaning toward not before this block, but it’s very clear by the fact multiple writers have done this and the one whose done this the most wrote normal episodes last season, that this is an overall creative decision and thus something ‘im just going to have to live with. And hey, it gives me more material to work with so there you go. So yeah let’s actually talk about this episode: Lisa is scrambling because she has a presentation at a big science convention, but doesn’t have any new discoveries to report. She does have snakebird though, which is exactly what it sounds like and exactly as delightful. Everyone should have one of those I don’t know how this isn’t worth presenting. Just put snakebird in hat. Lincoln comes to help because Rita heard snakebird and wanted to make sure lily was okay, and all he’s doing is taking her for a ride so it’s fine. Snakebird should be a part of my a different world style spinoff I’m just saying. Or with Stella.. I have a lot of spinoff ideas and only one of them has gotten a cease and desist from viacom so that’s progress!

Point is Lincoln ends up being a very good big brother and takes her to flips for a flippee as that usually helps him think. He also crouchs down adorably to reach her height at one point.

Like it’s jsut really precious to see that. It also does something the show does at it’s best: Weave the other siblings into each others plots organically. Lately they haven’t been as good at that with some exceptions and while it’s fine to have a few episodes where the rest of the family isn’t involved it is weird to just sorta.. cordon off 11 of our leads instead of giving them their own unique dynamics with each other. And while I do think Lincoln gets way to much of the spotlight at times, and his episodes have not been the best this season, I do think he works perfectly here: He’s the one with the most history with flips, so his role he ends up taking in the plot make sense, and him taking a big brother role and taking her down there is really adorable. It’s honestly easy to forget sometimes since half his sisters outage and outrank him by a lot that LIncoln has some authority and brotherly duty himself but when it crops up it’s really nice to see.

But yeah while Lincoln’s gesture was nice it does nothing to help. But what does is Flip himself. Honestly before these episodes i’d barely seen Flip and he’s alright. He’s not bad it’s just with this having happened just a few years ago

So i’ts really hard for him to stand out in comparison when he’s kind of generic. He’s still pretty damn loveable though. And this episode has as he drops a drum of cheese on his foot, it does nothing, eats cheese right out of the barrel which..

I mean at least have some sanitary standards man. Get a bowl or put it in a bathtub or something. Figure it out. But yeah it turns out his heart is also in his arm, literally on his sleeve.. something they don’t point out so it’s a subtle and well done joke.

Anyways yeah... so this is where the weird stuff comes in. Flip is some sort of miracle of science despite in all other episodes clearly being a normal human, And I like it.. while some bits of it are gross, i’m not a gross out guy so if you like that it’ll be up your ally and I respect that. But for the most part it’s just weird, bizzare stuff I can’t help but chuckle at like Flip having gills on his leg or being able to surivive freezing tempratures while not moving at all. See this works better than the spy episode in terms of what the fuck or to a lesser extent schooled because while it is fucking bizzare.. it works and it’s just swining so hard for the fences, it hits the moon. With the other two one didn’t bring it up till the end and the other just.. suddenly annoucned Royal Woods is next to canada and that lincoln taking a boat there was feasable. This just works for me. So Lisa takes him to the conference, with Lincoln and Clyde joining in to serve snacks and promote the food and fuel which works, I also like the gag about them being late because they argued about what Science Casual meant. Lisa shows off this monstrosity and gets praise.. and a shady scientist asking if she can use flip for her experiments which lisa talks him into and Flip agrees to because, like his agreeing to lisa’s experiments he likes money and tasks the boys with running things. Naturally handing a miracle of science over to a shady science lady you know nothing about backfires and lisa trying to search incognito labs just blows up the computer.. somehow. Don’t think too hard about it. But LIsa finds lily petting a rat and soon finds the rat comes from flip begging for help. And upon spying on the lab, Lisa finds that flip is basically being tourtured and feels she did no better which.. no. While she did use him as a test subject, she also did so with his full consent, and for free publicity. She didn’t harm flip as while she subjected him to a lot of crap NONE of it harmed him like Ingognito’s experiments are. This attempt at a moral dosen’t work when Lisa , while still seeing only flip for his achivments, did nothing unethical. Flip willingly signed on for this and was never once in danger. And look medical trials can be unethical epsecially when people are deseperate. I get that. But here Lisa did nothing wrong and given her usual tendency to ignore scientetific ethics, that’s a lot. Lisa goes to the boys for help and together they all sneak in and free flip in a decent sequence using various stuff from flips. The doctor for her part, as she was planning to shoot flip up into space without a suit to see if he could surivive because evil, gets blasted up. So yeah.. this episode ended with a 4 year old, an old man whose apparently a mutant of some kind x-men or otherwise and two 12 year olds having killed a woman.

And then they all just.. have flippees for aj ob well done. I mean yes the lady deserved it but still.. you all just killed someone! YOU SHOULDN’T BE ACCEPTING THIS. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. AND WHY DOSEN’T SNAKEBIRD HAVE HIS OWN MOVIE. EPISODE OVER.

Final Thoughts on Blinded By Science: This one was okay. Insane, VERY insane, but okay. I’ve seen way worse, from this very season but man is it weird and man is that ending just...

Yeah that takes it down a bit but overall really enjoyed this one, Moving on. Real behind and got four to go so

Band Together: I think I have one of my many reaction images that says it best here:

Given i’ve seen pretty much every Luna episode, she’s my faviorite and i’ve been blatant about that, and all of them are pretty good, I had high hopes for this one. And it STARTS promisingly enough: Luna is rocking out with her band which finally has a name! The Moon Goats. Which I like a lot: Besides reminding me of the objectively awesome Mountain Goats, it fits thehir personality and also reminds me of fellow teenage garage band goat cheese pizza from Zits... I miss when that strip was about teenagers and not two old men yelling about teenagers. Metaphorically. Point is I like this and my recent scott pilgrim kick means this is even better. We also find out Scoots is a huge fan of the band. Which is fantastic. Why an old lady with questionable morals is their biggest fan I do not know. We also get a band prank and fully names for the other two: Sully, the guy and Mazy the girl. I mean their not given MUCH character, Sully likes to bash his head on the keyboard and Mazy is uh there. And that is one of the episodes downsides: Despite being the first episode with Luna’s band to NOT focus on just Sam... the rest of them, and Sam really get to do nothing. The fact Sam and Luna are together dosen’t even factor into the plot. I honestly think it’s what removes the episodes punch, that we don’t KNOW these characters and thus LUna posisbly leaving them behind has no weight. In contrast the series actually did something similar with little build up but made it work with the episode where Leni’s friends are trying to make her choose between them: Her mall coworker friends or her school friends. While we didn’t KNOW her school friends like the mall ones, the episode took time buliding them up so we got why Leni loved both and why this was so unfair to make her choose between them. Here it’s just two well designed carboards and a sam. And without the stakes of it possibly impacting Luna’s relationship, which I don’t want obviously but at least we have a stake in at this point, there’s just.. not a lot. Plus the solutions kind of obvious. But what’s the problem? The band performs for a big manager who only needs Luna to fill in for a professional band. The IDEA as i’ve said is good: LUna being forced to pick between her friends and her career, and both sides not being happy about it. But it’s just.. wasted. Besides clearly being bigger than 30 minutes, apparently we needed the half hour slot for a caddy ghost, this story just feels slight. Luna ends up with the other band and the manager gets on her for acting like she does with her friends.. but she’s a 16 year old who dosen’t know any better. What’d you possibly expect? none of it just really works. She goes back, no one is suprised, and the only part that really works at all.. is the ending. After welcoming luna back , as their roadie at first and clearly it’s more of a joke, Chunk plays with the band and gets Luna’s spot. THAT is not a bad ending and while I”ll miss the big lug, it’s really nice to see the guy get a big break and Chunk is low key one of my faviorite parts of the show. But otherwise yeah, this was almost nothing and given how usually FANTASTIC the Luna episodes are, this one was a really huge disapointment. No need for final thoughts moving on.

Seasons Cheatings: This is a quick one but only because there’s no real character stuff or bad parts, i’ts just a decent if contrived holiday episodes. It’s the annual family gift swap, and Lincoln wants a backpack for (insert thing he likes #37). That being said I DO like that Lincoln isn’t just into one thing obession wise as even with my tendency to hyperfocus due to my autisim, I have TONS of things I love and glom onto. YOu can tell just by my massive assortment of reaction images and quotes. So it’s nice for a show to for once NOT have a nerdy kid just have one hero they focus on. So it’s rip hardcore this time, with a fancy backpack. Why Lincoln didn’t just ask for it for christmas is beyond me and is the only thing that bothers me about the episode. Ohterwise i’ts pretty decent; LIncoln’s trying to cheat his way to victory by getting the right sister for the swap. Which really ends up boiling down to first LIly, since the parents will choose, but since LIly did her own gift this year, he then tries one of the older sisters since obviously, they actually take this seriously and have the money to get something nice with various shenanigans including lincoln dressing up like his own mother. Neat. It’s nothing amazing but it is neat.

Naturally he forgets his own, and has to trade his gift to Chandler to get Lola a nice gift in time. Also Chandler is apparently Lincoln’s black market hookup ala hustler kid. I genuinely love everything about this from the fact it fits his character, to the fact him being rich means there’s a genuine way he can get the resources, to the fact that despite being rich and probably not needing to do this it still fits he’d do it anyway because he’s kind of a scamp. If they use Chandler more like this, as Lincoln’s sorta shady frienemy who Lincoln and Co and possibly the sisters go to for shady schemes and crookery, i’ll be fully on board with it. Plus it might finally squeeze liam out of the group and give us someone willing to hit rusty. So all good things.

But we do get a REALLY sweet ending as Lily, having seen her big brudder sad, paints him a picture. We also get the sweet image up top of LIsa and Lucy having given each other the same gift. Overall not a bad episode. Not nearly as good chirstmas story wise as 11 louds a leapin, but with a shorter runtime and a tight premise it still works and is still very sweet.

A Flipmas Carol: Another very simple but alirght one.. and ANOTHER flip episode. And another one I can speed through a bit more. Basically it’s the night before christmas and Flip is taking advantage of the neighborhoods desperation with shoddy merchandise.. and forcing Lynn to work off the debt for some accidnetal damage on christmas eve and day. I mean she is legally of working age so this is legal but it’s still sketchy. Which is Flip’s wheelhouse. Naturally this leads to a christmas Carol Parody and the weird part as the ghosts resemble and act like the loud kids> This is never explained, it’s really weird especially since Clyde ghost refrences his therapist.. but given the louds were in there and are in there enough for Flip to know them well, same with the mcbrydes, it easily could be a guilt induced hallucination or simply the ghosts taking a familiar form so i’m not going to dicker over it. It’s weird but you know not sudden super spies, golf ghosts or childrne comitting murders weird and as I mentioned up top, holiday episodes get a little more leway with me in terms of weird shit. not by a lot but by just enough.

So they take him through what you’d expect: The Past gives Flip a sympethatic and well done origin story: Flip had a date with the girl of his dreams, but lost out due to a comination of Scoots selling him bad goods and bad tickets in middle school and vowed never to be hurt again barney stinson styles. The present shows him the consequenceds of his actions on other people’s christmas including whatever he gave the louds to make christmas dinner having turned into some form of abomination, causing him to actually feel guilt. The final one shows him having died, buired alone with no one to care in a ditch with a pizza box and having lost everything due to his practices. It ends how you’d expect, he goes to eveyrones houses and fixes things before giving the loud kids present and clearing lynn’s deabt before that happens. Not much to really dig into here, just a pretty good specail. Both of the christmas episodes are good, and while again not as good as the first one aren’t bad themselve.s

So yeah overall this crop was okay. No real standouts, but outside of Band Together nothing bad and even that had extra scoots, luna’s band getting a name and that cheeks suish. All in all not a bad batch feels good to be caught up. Until next time courage.

#the loud house #christmas #lisa loud #lincoln loud #clyde mcbride #luna loud #sam sharp #saluna #chester monk #scoots #flip #rattus #lily loud #lola loud #lucy loud

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hellomynudebrain · 4 years ago

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Paths (Jumin X reader) Part#19

(brrr, brrr, brrr) Your phone was riging. Between being sleepy and half drunk somehow you managed to answer your phone.

"...he...*yawn* Hello...?"

"Hey! Hurry up an came to the airport, you have to replace someone from the negotiations team, you have to be out of the country for 2 weeks, are you in?"

It was your boss in a reallly annoyed mood.

"...Sorry, what?!"

"Just hurry! You'll recive part for this commision, but for that I need you here in an hour"

The deseperated voice of your boss and the prize of that negotion made you got up really quick what made you fell from the bed.

"Yes, Sir! Just count me in!"

"Good, hurry!"

Finally, once you were up, the surrandings weren't the usual one. That wasn't the room were you used to sleep. You turned your head back and there he was, Jumin half naked as you were too. The flashbacks from the night before came to your memory. You slept with him and enjoyed it. You get frozen for a second but your phone in you hand vibrated and the message from your boss, made you came back.

"Hurry! I need you!"

You decided to go to your room, got from your closet a suitcase and threw all your bussiness clothes, your kit for the bath and shoes as fast as you can. You went to the bathroom and took a shower, meanwhile with the ruckus you were doing, Jumin opened his eyes and didn't see you next to him. He felt happy but bad, for some reason he felt cheap. He seated on his bed passing his hand and thinking about the night before mistake, but even if his moral said to hi that it was a mistake, his heart felt that was the most wonderful night of his life.

Lost on his thoughts, Jumin fliched when he saw you entered to his room with a coat, the tooth brush in your mouth.

"So..wy, Yumin! Le's talk abou' dis late' !I have a bi' deal at wok and I have to go out fo' the nex’ two weeks!"

Jumin was surprise about how hastied was about the work, but at the same time he felt relief about your bussiness trip. He needed to settle his feelings and tell you after you have a time to think about the relationship between you two. It was an opportunity to think.

"Tell driver Kim to use one of the cars and he drive you to the airport!"

You got back to the bathroom, spit the toothpaste, clean your mouth and got back to Jumin's room.

"Yes, I'll do it. Thank you."

You lean until he was, brought your hands to his face and gave him a peck on his lips.

"Let me settle my feelings and I'll give an answer." He smiled back.

"Yes, I'll wait. Now hurry, my bussiness angel."

You knew that last line was chessy, but it didn't care for you, because it sounded so good for you. You took your suitcase and ran to the car where driver Kim was waiting for you. The two weeks of the bussiness trip passed really fast. However, you were abroad, those weeks were the hell for you. The client was irrational, your partner for this trip was arrogant and gave you too many problems after he tried to deal with the client. The hotel had a problem with the hot water in your room, you bathed with only cold water and your boss asked you to be the babysitter of your other partner who tends to eat and drink whichever is on the minibar. Still you managed to have a little time to think about that night and the relationship with Jumin. You felt guilty at first because you discovered your feelings for Jumin and how this man was the best friend of your ex. After the guilt and a bottle of wine and ice cream before going to bed, you realized that the guilt feeling had nothig to do with you. Jihyun left you to come back to his ex beyonce and married and whatever happened between Jumin and you had nothing to do with Jihyun. You were determinated about your feelings. You love Jumin and want him in your life. Despite his feelings, Jumin felt guilty. He broke his personal rules, not sleep with a woman before marriage, that was his gold rule, but again he felt happy about spending the night with the woman he loves. The love for you got bigger each day he didn't see you, but also the guilt. He felt guilt, because he knew the reason why Jihyun left you, he knew about the dark past of Jihyun and he didn't want to tell you. He felt guilt, because deep inside him thought how he betrayed Jihyun and you...

Finally, after the most exausting two weeks of your life. You were coming back. Jumin knew since you send him a message about the date and the hour to pick you up on the airport.

You arrived tired from the flight and the kid who was kicking the back of you seat all the flight. The dark circles on your eyes were darker than your eyeliner, but even so, you wanted to talk with Jumin and with those dark circles tell him how much you love him and start a real relationship.

Driver Kim is waiting, he helped you with your luggage, opened the door for you and you humped inside. The slumpber won you and you slept all the trip until driver Kim woke you up once you arrived to the penthouse. You felt nervous because you were about to confessed to the man who gave you hope again in love, the man who opened your arms when you needed it, the man who saw the most embarrasing parts of you and he never mocked you. You standed in front of the door, opened it and entered to the penthouse. He was there, on his expensive couch waiting and petting Elizabeth. He jumped out of his seat once he spotted his eyes on you, he was standing in front of you.

"Hello, how are you? *unisone*"

Both of you asked at the same time. You felt as a middle school kids about to confessed to the person you like.

"Jumin, I...no, you first..." You were a coward and let him speak first

Jumin wasn't nervous, he was afraid. He was about to say how much he loves you but his conscience betrayed him and other words came from his mouth. "I was the reason Jihyun left you. I was the one who tell him to go back with Rika. I'm sorry"

#mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger #jumin x reader #paths #fanfic

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smallblueandloud · 5 years ago

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hi again!! what’s up? i just want to talk to someone about tww so i’m sorry i keep bombarding you😂what are your favorite ship moments? like for cj and danny or cj and toby, or josh and donna? tysm have a great day!💕

hi!!!! you are not bombarding me i promise!!! my brain is weird so i sometimes take a few days to answer (also i get busy sometimes) but the number of exclamation points should clue you in to how excited i am to talk about the west wing with someone!!!!

cj and danny have some AMAZING ship moments, but i’m not gonna be specific because! spoilers! i love the goldfish, and i love cj teasing him (”that’s what i’d do”) and i love literally everything that happens with them in 7x21. have i mentioned how 7x21 is my favorite episode? goddamn. what an episode. honorable mention to the funniest moment in the whole series, which i will put here because i think you’ve already seen it.

C.J.: Before we get on the plane, let me give you a couple of additions to the passenger manifest. Gerald Wegland, the Assistant Energy Secretary, is now on the flight, as well as Mr. Latham, the head of The White House Military Office, or WHAMO, as we have apparently taken - over my strong objection - to calling it. [Reporters giggle.] Also, on this evening's trip are Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn and, well, me.

DANNY: I thought you weren't going on the trip.

C.J.: I am now going on the trip.

DANNY: Are you being punished?

C.J.: I'm not being punished, I'm going on the trip.

DANNY: If the whole bus goes off the record, will you tell us why you're going on the trip?

C.J.: [watches everyone carefully] I made fun of Notre Dame.

REPORTERS: Oh! Aww! Man! No!

C.J.: I usually get away with it!

KATIE: They're playing Michigan tomorrow.

C.J.: I know that now.

DANNY: You can't bring that stuff when they're playing Michigan.

C.J.: Well, I'll have a lot of time to think about that on the midnight ride to Portland, Danny.

hilarious :D

for cj and toby... sigh. i don’t remember a lot of their moments because there’s so many? but i love the ones i always talk about: “you want to make out with me right now, don’t you?” and “i love you deseperately” and “can this be one of those nights where we get smashed and pretend we don’t work together?”. also, HUGE shoutout to those scenes where cj is being sexy and toby has no idea what to do with this information because we’re in the WHITE HOUSE, cj!!! aka that one scene where she walks down the hallways singing “i’m too sexy for my shirt” and he stands there like prey who would kind of enjoy being eaten. also, ALSO, when she’s doing the jackal and josh tries to talk to toby and toby turns to josh grinning - TOBY, GRINNING - and says “don’t talk to me during the jackal!”. god. love that line.

josh/donna........... oh, man, so many of these are spoilers, but i’ll try to specify while being as vague as i can. of course, the number one moment is always gonna be “and if you think i don’t miss you every day...”. jesus christ. i cannot with that one. my second favorite is DEFINITELY josh being soft in late s5 - early s6 (no context but you will definitely Know It When You See It). i also love “i’m not asking you to betray king and country here” and The Kiss and... wow, s7 has a lot of good moments. honorable mention goes to literally any time josh looks at donna. jesus christ that boy is so besotted.

i know i don’t talk about this ship a lot (ever) but i also really like that time when zoey and charlie go and drink a bottle of champagne in the middle of a park at night. i mean, things go to shit afterwards, but i really really like that moment.

oh and also!! i know i already talk about 7x21 a lot but there’s some REALLY GOOD TOBY/CJ IN THAT EPISODE and i love them. also the toby/cj in 7x04 - 7x05 (yes, yes, it’s THAT episode for those of y’all who’ve already seen s7. #sorrynotsorry.) and it’s very good even though it hurts so much. also when cj sits with toby after his brother dies. i love that moment.

#thank you for asking!!!#loudwithlaughter #the west wing #cj x danny #cj x toby #donna x josh #sb and l rambles #sb and l watches tww #sb and l answers #i will be reblogging some ask memes shortly so!!#everyone stay posted!!

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mr-stjames-icon · 4 years ago

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Weekly Task: Self Para

“He tries.”

Jesse followed her gaze to see the figure walking around their bedroom. They’d been back in their New York apartment for a few days now. The national holiday had been a pleasant distraction from the worry of work and family life but now they were back to this stage. The man drew in a long breath as he watched the figure pace back and forth, chattering on about something to do with his game.

“He does,” Jesse replied. “I mean he really tries but he won’t ever understand.”

He felt his heart sink a little as he knew she was right. Like a kid blindly trying over and over at a test he didn’t know the answers to, Cooper had always done his best to help. He had a kind heart, Jesse had realised this early on.

“But you do.”

The Broadway star looked across at her from where he was sat. Elbows resting on his knees and hands held together over the empty space. He wasn’t fond of these sorts of conversations. “I do?” he asked, playing dumb to avoid it.

“You. Well, you went through the same, right?”

His eyes flicked away from the teenager. It wasn’t a topic he liked discussing. Nobody knew about this moment in his past. He tried to hide it where possible. Jesse didn’t need to be defined by his past, his weaknesses. He was more than that. It was maybe why he always strived to be the best. To prove that despite the rough start in life, he had as much in him as anyone else.

Jesse St. James was not going to be another lost cause spat out of the system.

“Not to your extent,” he finally muttered.

The teenager drew in a breath as she crossed the space to sit on the couch beside him. He could tell she wanted to talk, wanted to find some sense of comfort. It’s not like in every placement you were gifted with a foster parent who could relate to what it was like being in the system. He had to make an effort.

“I..” Jesse began before his throat closed up. Like tiny hands were clawing at his vocal chords, blocking his windpipe to prevent any of the secrets being spilled.

He shook his head to shake those feelings. Get it together, St. James.

“I was a kid when I was adopted, I was lucky those years didn’t hinder much of my childhood. People never asked, people just accepted or even better, they didn’t know,” he admitted. “I wasn’t, it’s not that I was ashamed to be adopted or that I was ungrateful to my new family. I owe the St. James family. It’s that-”

“It’s just that poeple look at you differently,” Ramona interrupted. The small nod from him relieved her slightly as she brushed a strand of hair from her face.

“I don’t want people knowing. I just want to feel part of something. Like I belong?” Ramona sighed softly. She was appreciative of how these two had taken her in, how they had accepted her as their own from the start. She often wondered what the future held, she pondered on whether this would be forever but she also feared getting her hopes up. Hope was a dangerous game.

“You get to hide it,” she commented and it made a shiver run up his spine. He knew she didn’t have that luxury, not at the minute anyway.

“I just didn’t speak about it. Nobody asked. I didn’t tell my friends in school, I didn’t tell my ex-wife. It’s nobody’s business but my own.”

“He knows?” Ramona looked back to the laughing figure with a headset on and a cord attached to his PC. She was still thankful that Rachel had helped with designing the apartment. It had been a tough few weeks and she knew he wouldn’t have coped by himself. It was a mismatch family but she liked it. Cooper thrived on having his own space, his sanctuary. She was glad he had it.

“I told him a few days before we went to meet you,” Jesse explained. Clearing his throat, he could feel the tightness in his chest and the feeling of uncertainty while they stepped lightly over this subject. “I had a-” Jesse stopped and cleared his throat, fidgeting with his hands as he stared down at them. Good a distraction. How he deseperately wanted to walk away from this conversation.

“I had a bit of a meltdown- it’s funny, that’s when you caught us coming out of the bathroom,” he smiled slightly at the thought. “He has them all the time but my god it was debiliating. I don’t know how-” he let his thoughts finish that sentence. He never judged Cooper for when he’d spiral out of control but that had shown him a glimpse into what his partner suffered through daily.

Ramona shifted slightly as she could feel the conversation was uncomfortable. “But... you had a kid already, why did you freak?”

Jesse blew out his cheeks and clenched his hands together. His mind drifted back to the argument he and Cooper had, on the Santa Monica Pier when they arrived. The words had resonated with him since. “I’ll tell you, what I told him.”

“I love Moriah and I wouldn’t trade her for the world but I can’t help but regret not waiting to have a child with the person I want to settle down with and waiting until I was secure enough to be a stay at home dad.”

The quiet response made him nervous. He shifted his stance and straightened his back. Posture. It was the best way to prevent being seeing as vulnerable. It projected a confident stance and confident was definitely a feeling that had escaped him. He cursed how family pushed him into these waters.

“Am I a regret?” Ramona asked, the need for confirmation in her voice.

“You seriously believe I’m going to regret the Hellraiser that set fire to her last placement’s garden?” he met eyes with her and caught the blush that spread over her cheeks. “No. Trust me kid, if it wasn’t working, well, you wouldn’t be here any more,” he admitted. It sounded cruel but it was the honest truth.

“That was almost a nice sentiment,” she teased in return. “Still, why did you freak when you came to the centre? Is it because..” she trailed off. The pain in her chest wouldn’t allow her to finish that sentence. She cupped her hands as the little boston terrier wandered in. A small grumble escaping the dog as she yawned, clearly Cooper’s shouting had woken her up from her slumber.

Jesse quickly denied the suspicion with a shake of his head. “No that’s not why I had a-” he struggled on that word again. “I was-” the man sighed heavily and dragged his hand over his face. This was truly uncomfortable in every way.

“I was scared. I wondered whether I wasn’t what these kids need? What if they just want their real parents and I can’t be enough for them? Just because I saw the other side, didn’t make it any easier, it made it worse,” he confessed.

Ramona looked down at Penny, he hands ruffling through the pup’s ears. Her thoughts drifted to her old home, her old dog, Spotty. Her old bedroom. Then thoughts of his father crept in. Linda crept in. She reminded herself why home wasn’t a place to be. Why it wasn’t really a place to call home.

“You’re doing a good job... I don’t know if that helps?” she spoke a little awkwardly. A shrug accompanied her words but she meant them.

Jesse nodded in response. It was simple but comforting to hear.

Before he could dwell, he heard the infectious laughter of his fiancé in their bedroom. He hated how much time he spent on that game sometimes but he wouldn’t deny a small smile tugged in the corner of his mouth at the joy it gave.

“Can you get something from the store for me?” he asked, his tone a little different from the senimental one he’d previously shown towards her.

“Sure,” she lent up from her hunched over position.

“Get some snacks for movie night,” he took his wallet out, pulled a few notes together and held them out. “Take Penny with you, Larry knows her. Just keep her on the leash and she’s fine in the store,” Jesse instructed.

Once the teenager left, he made his way down the short corridor to their bedroom. Seeing Cooper stood behind his desk, headphones on and that stupid grin on his face, he felt himself soften slightly. He was his idiot.

A look of alarm crossed his face when Jesse entered the room. “Was I-” he began to apologise for being too loud. He knew the noise-cancelling headphones had been a problem sometimes so he jumped to apologies.

Jesse frowned a little with a look of disapproval. He straightened his stance and eyed Cooper up. “I’m at the end of my tether, Cooper,” he said coldly.

Cooper’s face fell immediately at the words. What did this mean? They’d been up and down, back and forth, Cooper couldn’t keep track any more. He slipped the headset completely from his head and let it drop onto the computer chair. Fear and anxiety radiated off him as he stayed frozen like a scorned child.

“I don’t know how long I can sit out there with you giggling like a hyena without me,” he said sternly and accompanied the final words with a smile.

The musician’s face twisted quickly as he tried to understand what was happening. Slapping his arm and grumbling in frustration, he took a few steps away from him. “I hate you,” he huffed to himself, a glare fixed on Jesse.

“You’re cute when you pout,” Jesse taunted, knowing it would provoke him further. The slap on his arm hadn’t phased him as he took a step closer and pulled Cooper into his space. “A smile looks better on you, Doofus.”

Almost on cue, a smile crossed Cooper’s face with a defeated sigh. There relationship was one full of taunt and teasing. He expected it most of the time. It was their way of showing affection without getting to personal. Both of them seemed to have a phobia of emotion and letting people in too far.

“Better, could still work on it,” Jesse critqued, eyeing up the smile and got a playful push in return. Grabbing a handful of Cooper’s shirt instinctively to prevent himself from falling, Jesse returned them to that close space. One you very rarely let anyone inside. It was sacred and special for a few people.

“I hate you,” Cooper murmured as he lent in and kissed his cheek.

“I love you,” Jesse corrected with an egotistical smile. His harsh stance softened at the tenderness and the snark blipped away for a few seconds, like a computer program ran into an error and was buffering, allowing his true self through.

Cooper paused for a moment as he rested his arms around his waist. It wasn’t a phrase he often used. The actor didn’t let that word slip out of his mouth too casually, at least not with the meaning it was supposed to carry. He ofter resorted to a loving ‘I hate you’ instead. It signified what he meant without having to say it. Yet, there were moments like this that Cooper wasn’t sure if Jesse needed to hear it. If it was a silent ask to hear those words out loud.

“I love you,” Cooper said softly, his grip pulling Jesse back and forth sligthly in a sway, he was a constant fidget and neither of them liked being this exposed. Leaning in he pecked his lips before holding him. The rough stubble against his own cheek as he rested his chin on the other man’s shoulder.

The touch was tender and welcoming. A warmth filled his chest and Jesse shut his eyes slightly, giving himself completely to the moment of embrace. This was home, this was what he’d been missing during those weeks in Los Angeles, alone. He felt like he belonged somewhere in his life. Next to this man.

“I told Ramona we’d have a movie night,” Jesse muttered, not moving from the embrace as he breathed in the scent of familiar aftershave. “But I don’t think we’ve graced her with one of our kareoke nights,” he added, feeling the rising cheekbones and the small chuckle from his partner, he knew they were on mutual agreement. That was it, their evening plans were settled.

#eventwhatif #//taken from a f2f #self para

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amnachil · 5 years ago

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The College Society Chapter 3 Part 13

The last part of the Chapter ! Some important informations about Liam’s past here. There is also some big revelation for the main plot :)

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Tuesday March 5, in France

It was some sort of joke. Yeah, someone was messing around with him. Why on earth was he doing the shrink for the baboon and his friend all day, all time ? I have others things to do. Like having sex, sex and sex again. After the fatty roommate who fell into the water and the midget who made a little break-down, it was Liam's turn to be depressed. What with this mood ? They can't be happy and healthy like everyone else ? His boyfriend was a real ghost. Not only he was avoiding the Dean's grandson, but he also looked completely elsewhere. I'm not being ignored by him. No way, I'll not tolerate this. My humiliation has gone too far already. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was seriously pissed when he entered his boyfriend's bedroom. He looked at Nate, Nick and Colton angrily.

"You three. Out, now."

He truly didn't care if the Good Samaritan guessed their relationship. He probably already did. They obeyed quietly, and he faced Liam.

"Baboon. I'm pissed. I'm furious. No, I'm raging mad at you. Stop dreamin' and look at me."

The chestnut freshman did as he told him. He had puppy's eyes, but Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey did his best to ignore it.

"What is wrong with you ?! You told me you would call me for help ! You put this damned condition ! You asked me to be there for you. And when here I am, you don't talk ! This is not fair ! How am I supposed to help if I don't know what is going on ?! Answer, now."

A short blank followed. Finally, Liam came closer.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "It's... I don't want to lose you. Please, don't be mad."

Too late. But Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was already simmering down. He couldn't resent this baboon. I hate myself for being so weak.

"Just talk to me." he grumbled. "I don't want to be laid aside only because it concern your ex."

Besides, I already know the story. Barbara told me months ago. Liam took place on the bed and asked him to do the same. Then, he took a deep breath.

"I started to date Kilian around april in 11th grade. He was my first male partner, and I didn't really know where we were going." he related. "But Kilian's parents are strongly homophobic, and they used to beat him because of that. We were a secret, and we managed to remain like this during ten months. It was a great time... But eventually, they found out. His father was so angry, so mad... I though they would kill him, and me by the same occasion."

Liam made a break. Until now, nothing scary. Stupid peole with stupid habits. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey held his comment.

"So I suggested we could run away. Kilian and me, together. I know this is a terrible idea, but at the time, it seemed logical. And so we tried. I tried. But it quickly degenerated. We were lacking of everything after only two days. I was so deseperate to be with him. I thought he was the love of my life..."

Again, a break. Liam was making a real effort to talk. It's not shyness nor idiocy. He hates himself for what happened.

"I proposed to steal some supplies. I know, this is even worst than my first idea but... Anyway, I went in this grocery and... I got caught, we ran. We ran so fast, we were so scared. There was a thunderstorm going on. I'm so stupid. So so stupid. It's all my fault."

"Liam. Look at me."

The baboon obeyed. Damn, stop crying already. He looked so desesperate.

"We were crossing a road and I pushed him ahead, to go faster." he finally said. "A car knocked him over. It wasn't going that fast, and Kilian had only minor injuries but... Still, I almost killed him. His parents sued me for manslaughter. My family went true hell. And they called my father. He came back. He took everything from my mother because of me. Because of my judicial situation. I lost everything. I made my mother lose everything. My siblings, Kilian and his relatives... All our friends... Everyone hates me now..."

He couldn't continue. He cried in Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey's arms. He was so vulnerable. The junior gently patted him, quiet. In what mess I went with these boys ? Liam, Nate, Nick... Do I want to spend my times with them and their problems ? His heart was pounding in his chest. He wasn't good to feel emotions. He had zero empathy since his own heart had been broken. I'm a god among the hunter, I don't do feelings.

"I don't hate you." he whispered. "And I'm not mad anymore."

His boyfriend's grasp became stronger.

"I'm not boyfriend material Liam, you know that. I suck at all this stupid foolishness."

Why tho ? Why am I so bad ?

"But I love you."

He said it. I said it.

"I can't explain it." he added. "But it feels comfortable with you around. Your body, your insane personality, your delirium and your incredible appetite, I love all that. I don't know why, and I don't care. So please, don't hate yourself and let me love you."

I'm done. It's enough for now. He hugged his boyfriend in the silent of the night, and just waited.

Liam Wednesday March 6, in France

He was surrounded. They were everywhere, chasing him. He could not escape them. With strenght, one of them grabbed him. Liam ended face to face with his hunter, a truly gigantic baboon. This one yelled :

"I love you ! I love you ! I love you !"

The chesnut lad suddenly woke up. Eyes wide open, he looked his surroundings. He was cozily lying underneath his sheets. The warm feeling got the best of him. He moaned with pleasure. He smelled a sweet flavor. Pancake, this is pancake. Did he die ? Was it Paradise ? (It was a logical theory : a wonderful bed, a restorative sleep and pancakes, he couldn't ask for more.).

"Hey, are you awake ?" asked Dami.

Slowly, Liam stood up and looked at his boyfriend. He was wearing an apron and a chef's hat. I never noticed how cute he's. Dami wasn't tall nor ripped, but he had a graceful body. (Now he couldn't ask for more).

"I... We did a breakfast." he announced. "Your friends were worried, so I let them help with the preparation. They're completely duffer but well, at least they think they did something nice. "

Where did they manage to cook ? (Well, Dami was more than capable to have requested the hotel's kitchen). (A true hero.). Anyway, Colton, Nate and Nick entered in the room with trays full of foods.

"I know you like to eat." mumbled Liam's boyfriend. "I thought it would cheer you up to have a taste of my own pancakes."

"It will." quickly answered the chesnut lad.

He rushed Dami and kissed him. (He didn't care about the secret anymore). (Okay, he forgot they were not completely official yet).

"Thank you. All of you."

Without any hesitation, he took a pancake and started to eat. It was so good. Yeah, he definitely was in Paradise.

"Dude, how I am supposed to watch my figure with this amazing food ?"

Liam shrugged. His hands were diligently rubbing his belly. Next to him, Dami was texting, but he was resting his head on Liam's shoulder. It was the best love gesture is was ready to do for now, Liam guessed. Nick, who just complained, was sat in the chair next to them. He was overstuffed. His belly pressured his too tight shirt. The buttons were about to pop. Nate and Colton were cleaning the trays. Best breakfast ever. The chestnut lad could have eat more, but he was satisfied. After all, he had just devoured a dozen of gigantic pancake.

"Your belly is making weird noise." mumbled Dami.

Their friends were leaving to bring back the dishes downstair. Liam's boyfriend took the occasion to rub the bloated stomach himself.

"Thank you Dami. It really hit the spot."

"Well, my cooking is made for that."

They remained silent for a bit. Liam couldn't describe how happy he was, even if it was only for a moment. (It was like the first time he had met the unicorns.) (When magical horses come to you, you sure are amazed.).

"After this week, I'll have to hit the gym." he finally admitted. "I'm gorging myself so much here."

"Don't worry. You'll be back to your silly routine in no time."

Again, the silent came. Liam watched his boyfriend rubbing his belly with dedication. How can I describe it ? It has been a long time since I felt this way. He had noticed his boyfriend was rather reluctant to show any affection, especially when the others were here. But man, he knew how to rub a belly. (Dami had so many talents...).

"Before all." said suddenly Dami. "Look, I don't want to put any pressure on you but... Nate told me you have a meeting with Kilian tonight."

"I'll make everything clear with him." affirmed Liam.

"Which means ?"

"I'm in a new relationship. I'm with you. I'll tell him I'm sorry for the past, and we'll be friends because he's on the good side. The force of evils will lose this time."

"You're so weird."

To be honest, Liam was only pretending. It was so easy to appear brave in front of his loved one. But in truth ? Could the unicorns send help ? A massive disaster, a flue, anything which would prevent him to meet Kilian ? But no, the evening came anyway. They had made great progress for their group project, despite Rebecca and Barbara's rudeness. And now here he was, right in front of Kilian, at a terrace in town.

"You look nice today." smiled his ex.

Liam quickly drank his orange juice. (Yes he was still using the straw, so what ?).

"So... It's nice to see you're still friend with Nate. You two are really soulmate."

"Yeah."

Liam was sweating. He looked right in front of him. He pictured an angry Dami telling him to man up, but it only made him chuckle. Kilian looked at him, a bit confused.

"And you're in the same university than Barbara. That's cool." he continued. "She told you why she left in 11th grade ?"

"What ? No. We're not talking these days. She blames me for... you know, stuff."

Oh my god, I'm ridiculous. (Yes, he was often ridiculous, he didn't have pride anymore but still).

"You're not friends ?" wondered his ex. "I thought though. Anyway, Liam, I have something important to tell you."

Don't kill me please. (Yes, it was a bit overestimated, but Liam was still convinced his ex resented him for everything). (And yes, he was very scared : Kilian became so tall and strong ! He looked just like his father now...).

"I missed you." confessed the blond lad. "I... I still love you. Barbara told me some creepy guy were using you but I can be there ! I can come back to America with you."

Not what I planned. Not at all. Send help. Was it a tricky joke of the unicorns ?

"I'm not being used." Liam replied. "Dami is my boyfriend. Sorry I didn't say it earlier..."

"Your what ? He was sleeping with my cousin not two night ago ! Liam please, I can tell he's not sane. Don't fall for it ! He's a psycho who will hurt you. I can go to the United State with you ! I can..."

"Kilian stop."

Liam's tone surprised both of them. It was more serious, more mature than everything he ever did. Now I'm here, so let's go for it...

"You do have a special place in my heart." he admitted. "And I thank you for everything. For the ten months we spent together, for your kindness and even for this two days with you around. I deeply respect you, and I want the best for you. But Dami isn't a psycho. He had done so much for me, I won't let you disrespect him. You're right, he has his own problems but... look at us and tell me : are we saner than him ?"

His ex remained silent for a while. He lowered his eyes, seemingly disappointed.

"You really love him right ? Well, so I guess I don't stand a chance ?"

"I'm sorry..." whispered Liam. "But I spent a very long time trying to move on and now I feel I've finally succeeded thanks to Dami. I can't go back."

"In that case, I honestly hope everything will work between you two. I want the best for you too Liam."

"Thank you."

Barbara Thursday March 7, in France LAST PART

Now she started to get pissed. She had worked for years in order to be perfect. Grades, sports, reputation, family, she had mastered everything. So why all her plans were failing anyway ? Why this vulgar king and his pathetic queen were always beating her ? Kilian was supposed to make a move, but nothing happened yet. And here she was, in this stupid group for a stupid project.

"I think we should insist on their labors relations." announced Colton next to her. "It's very known French people have a different connection to work than us american."

"Yeah, that's right." approved Nick. "Everyone agrees ?"

Rebecca and Liam nodded. But the short girl ignored them. Her ally wasn't much useful anymore. Nick had been humiliated, and some people continued to tease him, but it wasn't much. At deseperate time, deseperate moves. She had read in a war manual that it was sometimes necessary to take huge risk for a huge profit. The same applied for economy, and for human's relations. I'll end all of this myself.

She waited until the end of their meeting. Then, she followed Colton while he was going to the restaurant. She hailed him when they were alone.

"Hey hon', I think we need to talk."

He followed her, a bit surprised. You're right, this is not an silly conversation between friends.

"Look, I have right here a video of our first time when you moaned Leila's name instead of mine." she claimed. "You have two choices. Either you do everything I demand, either I post it on internet and everyone will discover you pathetic secret. Your call."

Colton looked at her, stunned.

"I never did such a gross thing..." he whispered. "Why are you so... so... Why are you doing that ? What happened since last year ? I've always been nice to you, havn't I ? But you broke my heart and... and now that ? I don't understant what I've done wrong ?"

"Don't look down on me." she retorted. "Nothing special happened, I just want to be a the top. You can't be perfect without sacrifice. Now, will you listen to me ?"

He didn't hesitate long. Apparently, he was really scared for his reputation. You're such a lame.

"What do you want ?"

"Now I must be fuckin' dreamin'." swore a voice she immediately recognized. "You must be kiddin' me. What a bunch of retards."

Slowly, Barbara turned towards Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey, surprised to see him here. He wasn't supposed to show up. Dismayed, she noticed Matthew right next to him. The sophomore was smiling from ear to ear.

"Little roach, what did I just hear ? You were about to blackmail the guy ? For fuckin' real ?"

"And what ? Don't tell me you had never been dirty ?"

"You jackass. I'm only having sex idiotic moron. And with consenting people, dumbass. Yeah maybe I'm hurting some feelings in the process, but I'm not doing any illegal stuff you cunt."

The blonde girl understood something wasn't right. Why Matthew brought him here in the first place ? The swimmer was so proud of himself. It hid something.

"Doll Man, come here. You don't have to listen to this idiotic bitch."

"One second Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey." she said. "What is all this ?"

For a second, everyone remained silent. Then, a voice came through the Dean's grandson phone.

"Barbara Henrion ? Hi. I'm D.R. The head of the women defensor club, and also the head of the hunters."

The what ?! The freshman froze, astounded. Tell me that's not true.

"By trying to blackmail a student of the university, you contravened to the rules of the college, and also the hunting code. We also made some investigations about you."

"What ? Wait a second. Who are you ?"

"She's the so-called queen you were so eager to replace, stupid." explained Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. "Now hurry up, I don't have the whole night to lose."

"Sure thing, sorry." D.R continued. "So, we found out you and Roberto Rios had deliberately damaged the university's facilities. You realise you could be expelled for this ? We could call the police straight away."

Barbara didn't reply. She didn't know what to do. I'm in a real mess. What went wrong ? How did they know all that ?

"However, this is your first misdemeanor, so I'll be merciful." decided D.R. "I'm speaking in the name of the Dean. You are dismissed from all your responsabilities in the student union. You'll be placed under the surveillance of Matthew Davos. I'll send you two the detail. Are we clear ?"

Is it even possible ? Was I wrong all along ? She fighted Summer with so much application. All that for nothing ?

"I repeat, is that clear ?"

"I... I understand perfectly well." Barbara finally spilled.

She wasn't stupid. She could recognise when the war was lost. And her defeat was complete.

To be continued in Chapter 4

So much in one chapter !

Damian said the three words. He admitted his feelings for Liam. And that’s good news ! Plus, they finally get rid of Barbara, who met the infamous head of the hunter, D.R !

So yeah, Liam was naive when he was young. He tried to run away, and it failed. But considering how dangerous are Kilian’s parents, that’s not so surprising. Let’s hope things will be better with Damian. At least this one provides food ;)

#the college society #cs #Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey #Liam #Barbara #Damian's big revelation #Damian is an angry boy #Liam is a sad boy #Food is always the answer #stuffing #Barbara the plan v4 #Chapter 3 #Part 13

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tomahawk-swing · 7 years ago

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Death and all of his Friends

The subway was moving at normal speed. It wasn’t too crowed, and never remained longer than usual at the stations. Dingo’s luck couldn’t have been any higher.

He sat at the far edge of a seat row, his head leaning agaisnt the railing. His uniform felt tighter than ever, his bag weighed onto his knees. Classes might be over for the day being, but his ordeal wasn’t. Just thinking of all the homework he had left made he want to fall asleep, and never wake up.

He envied the man who sat across from him, his feet tucked under his seat, preventing the large bag he had set under the row from moving away. The man had his face entirely hidden in the shadow of his hood, his hands tucked in his sweater’s pocket. Dingo couldn’t wait to get home, rip off his tie, get rid of his shirt and blazer, and finally slip into his beloved hoodie.

The train pulled into yet another station. Amongst the several people to climb up, Dingo spotted an elderly lady, walking with the help of a stick. Automatically, Dingo stood up from his seat, and gestured for the old woman to take it. He received a grateful smile, which he returned, before he moved to the other end of the alley.

A few minutes passed. He was only one station away from home now. At the penultimate station, he saw the old lady climb down, and address him another smile from afar. The man with the sweater climbed down as well but left he bag behind. Dingo wanted to grab the bag and run after its owner, but the alley was too crowded. The automatic doors closed.

The bag exploded.

The blast engulfed the crowd in a cloud of thick smoke. The windows exploded, the passengers’ screams of horror, pain, terror, all blended into one voice. It went out at once, replaced by a heavy silence. A silence of death.

The stenches of burnt metal, charred flesh, singed hair filled the train. Not a single passenger was still standing. People could be heard screaming outside, calling for help. Some tried to open the doors, but the heat of the explosion had melted the metal, trapping the survivors inside. Help could only crawl through the broken windows, at the price of burning their hands on the frames.

Time was slowing down. Dingo’s ears buzzed painfully, as if a drill was piercing through his eardrums. Torturous pain coursed through his side, a weight pushed his body down, making it impossible for him to move or breathe. The sickening stenches and the lingering smoke only made it all worse.

Unable to hear, Dingo could only try to move. His eyes were blinded by the stinging smoke, so he pushed at the weight on his body without realizing what it was. Using all the strength he still possessed, he managed to free himself. He pressed his eyes against his sleeve, and threw a quick glance at the obstacle, before tears came streaming down his face again.

Wide opened eyes stared back at him. Dull, drenched eyes. The eyes of a corpse.

Time stopped. Dingo felt intensely cold, a clear contrast to the wave of scorching heat that had followed the explosion. The buzzing in his ears slowly faded, but he still couldn’t hear a sound. He was able to wipe his eyes again, and prop himself on one elbow. The pain through his side was unbearable, but he held on.

He looked down at his torso. A large piece of metal pierced through his side, and had remained stuck there. His white shirt had already turned scarlet, and the stain kept spreading.

The boy’s attention was taken away from his wound, when he spotted movement in the corner of his vision. A figure was standing a few meters away, swiftly making its way around the fallen bodies. Dingo first believed that they were gracefully hopping between the corpses.

The silhouette was dressed in a long, pitch-black dress, that went down to their ankles. There was nothing below it - the figure wasn’t hopping, it was floating above the bodies. A deep hood covered their entire head. The only part of their body Dingo could see were two skinless hands, sharp, bony fingers sprouting out of the dress’ overlarge sleeves.

“What a mess ...” The silhouette commented, unnoticed to Dingo’s wounded eardrums. “This is how low humanity has stooped ... Cowardly crimes, where the murderer runs from the crime scene to be, leaving his victims to such a cruel fate. How am I supposed to take those tortured souls with me ? This makes me almost regret the times of the black plague ...”

The figure carried a large stick, topped with a crescent-shaped, pointy blade. A scythe, Dingo recalled. It took his foggy brain a few seconds to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Death itself was standing right next to him.

He hadn’t heard the silhouette move closer. Were his eardrums still out of commission, or was the figure perfectly silent ? He soon figured out the truth.

“We meet again, young man.” The cloaked figure spoke in a deep voice, so deep that it seemed to resonate within Dingo’s very bones. It was chilling, frightening. A single shiver crawled all over Dingo’s skin. The last of his strength finished to faded, and he collapsed to his side again.

“How many times have we crossed path ? How many times have I leaned above your agonizing body, only to be denied the honor of taking you with me ?” The figure was now crouching next to Dingo. They slipped a finger under his chin, the sharp end of it digging into Dingo’s skin, allowing another chill to course down his entire being.

“Too many times, you’ve clung so deseperately to life that I could only let you go. You forgot all your encounters with me, of course. I couldn’t let you brag about defeating Death itself so many times.” The figure commented, in a tone filled with cold anger.

“Too any times, I’ve leaned over your agonizing body ... I’ve heard you beg for another chance, say that you still had people to protect, swear that you would never get into such a situation again ... But all those times, you broke that promise.”

Dingo was at a loss for words. Even if he could form a coherent sentence, the words might not make it through the knot that tied his vocal cords together. All he could do was listen, listen to the surreal figure, listen to its unbearable words. Listen to the last words he would ever hear, before Death lost their patience.

“This asks for punishment.” The cloaked silhouette concluded. They released Dingo’s chin, and slowly stood up. Without warning, a fleshless hand grabbed hold of the metallic piece that dug into Dingo’s skin, and pulled it out in a brutal motion.

Dingo howled in pain. He curled around the now open wound, and felt a warm fluid pool under his side. As cold as he felt, he didn’t want this warmth to keep spreading. He knew all too well that it was only a temporary relief.

“Here is my first suggestion : you will die here. The explosion will be branded a ‘terrorist attack’, your name will be added to the list of casualties, and every year, the entire country will mourn your death, along with those of all the corpses that fill this car.”

“You will die a sad, pitiful death. A victim of this new kind of ‘war’ modern humans have invented. You weren’t able to stand for yourself, and simply try to stop the villain from seeing through with their evil plan. The villain was sitting right across from you this whole time, but you had no idea.”

Dingo couldn’t take this anymore. He couldn’t accept such an end to his story. “I don’t ... I don’t ...” He croaked. His voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it still carried all the despair he felt. “I don’t ... want to die here ... I can’t ... I still have ... things to do ...”

The figure let out a short chuckle : “Of course. How could I expect your speech to be any different, this time ?” Their head shook in the depth of their large hood. “Very well. You might want to consider my second suggestion, then. Or rather, let’s forget that I’m giving you a choice ...”

“You won’t die here. But here’s the catch : you won’t walk away from this tomb with your life, either.”

“Allow me to explain.” The silhouette crouched down again. Their cold hands closed around Dingo’s, and took them away from his bleeding side. "Your life as you’ve lived it so far will end here. You will become the new bridge between life and death.”

Dingo felt Death’s hand reached for his head. The cold palm met his forehead, while the fingers digged into his skull. The silhouette picked up their scythe again, and made a swinging motion.

The blade stopped a millimeter away from Dingo’s neck. Very slowly, it was pressed into his skin, just deep enough to open a slight cut there. Blood trickled from the wound, one droplet, another one ... then no more.

A tremendous shiver spread through Dingo’s body. His veins were filled with cold fire, devouring his every nerve and muscle, shaking his frame with terrible spasms. He wanted to scream, but no sound came out of his mouth. Only his twisted traits and tortured body conveyed the unbearable pain he was going through.

The pain slowly subsidied, leaving only a cold sensation, as if Dingo had been laying in a deep layer of snow for an entire day. He couldn’t feel any of his limbs, nor hear his heart beating. He felt cold, so cold. Cold as a corpse.

The pressure was lifted from his forehead, and the sharp blade stopped digging into his neck. The silhouette stood up, a hand held out for Dingo to take, and commanded : “Stand up.”

Feeling returned to Dingo’s arms and legs, and he noticed that he no longer felt any pain in his side. He took the fleshless hand, and lifted himself up to his feet.

The moment his palm met Death’s, Dingo felt a prickling sensation spread across his skin. He jumped slightly, and immediately stared at his hand. What was wrong with it ?

“You’ll want to watch what you touch with those hands.” The silhouette warned, with a hint of amusement. “Of course, this wouldn’t truly be a punishment, if there weren’t some drawbacks to it ... But I will let you discover all the details of your new condition on your own. I have wasted enough time on your case.”

Dingo was utterly confused, but he found himself unable to speak again. His eyes were looking for a face in the shade of the silhouette’s hood, but there was nothing to be spotted in the pit of darkness.

"Do not think you have escaped my wrath. If you try to run away from your punishment, I will personally come to put an end to our little agreement. One doesn’t simply make a deal with Death itself, and break it in all impunity.”

“Honor my name. Adore it, fear it.” The silhouette solemnly commanded. Their voice became louder all of a sudden loud as a crack of thunder, louder even than the explosion that had started this all.

“Respect that name, young man. Because from now on, it will be yours.”

Silence fell at once, and the silhouette disappeared. In its stead, only a black cloak remained, similar to the one the figure was wearing. Dingo picked it up and slipped it on, only to realize with surprise that it suited him perfectly. Without a second glance for the corpses that lay all around him, he bolted for the nearest window, and ran away.

The rest of the world was slowly starting to move again, and by the time it had went back to normal, Dingo was already climbing up the stairs, escaping the attacked subway station along with the panicked crowd.

Death’s words kept resonating at the back of his mind. He couldn’t make any sense of them, but his instincts were on high alert. This couldn’t mean anything good. Whatever the ‘punishment’ was, he would suffer from its consequences. But in a way, he was relieved.

Whatever the implications of this ‘deal’ would turn out to be, he would have to live with them. If it meant that he could still share the existence of all his loved ones, that he could still protect them ... It had to be worth it.

How could it be any worse than death ?

#death tw #blood tw #Death's Child (Reaper!AU)#[[oh boy this is a long one #i've had countless sleepless nights to plot this out so i guess it was bound t #to be quite long x)#please let me know what you think !! and if you'd like to plot #something out for this au hit me up asap o/ ]]#drabble

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autumn-foxfire · 4 years ago

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So one argument I’m seeing is that Jeanist being dead by Hawks’s hands was necessary to show how fucked up the commission is but like, we already have so many examples that the commission is fucked up. We know they’re corrupt. What’s the point of having it repeated over and over and over, when the message has already gotten across. Like *gestures to them buying Hawks, and also letting literal kids go into war* here’s your fucking proof, leave Jeanist out of it.

We don’t need Hawks to be corrupt to show the commission is corrupt considering his entire existence already shows that! Hawks is basically a victim of child quirk trafficking and grooming for gods sake! That’s plenty to show the commission is fucked up and yet the continue to do fucked up things (excusing civilian death and allowing teenagers onto a battlefield). I don’t know why some people are so deseperate for Hawks to be bad too. As you said, they should leave Jeanist out of it, especially when the man is a damn good hero who sacrificed himself to protect his fellow heroes against All for One and lost a lung doing so (they’re just upset that Hawks isn’t the murder happy person they apparently wanted him to be).

Especially the people who were upset about the victims in the series being bad people. They’ve complained so much about Horikoshi making the victims bad and yet they’re the ones bitching about Horikoshi keeping one of his victims inherently a good person??? Make it make sense!

#bnha #bnha hawks #hawks #bnha manga spoilers #thanks for the ask!!#sweetls-stuff

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spn-imagines-nation · 8 years ago

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Bring him back

Title: Bring him back

Author: @spn-imagines-nation ; Eirin

Pairing & Characters: MoC!Dean X Reader, Cas

Word Count: 2,392

Warnings: Angst, smut (a little at least but yeah…), language, violence (well, we’re talking about MoC!Dean so…), some fluff at the end, 10x22 & 10x23 spoilers

A/N: Requested by Anon. That was hard to write, especially because, welle, MoC!Dean is pretty hard himself. But I hope you’ll like it anyway !

Summary: Can I request a MoC!Dean/Reader oneshot that takes place in 10x22? like the reader walked in after Dean beat up Cas and she bursts out in tears of what Dean has become and he hurts her too (not as bad as Cas though) and regrets it after but the reader is afraid of him? kinda angst and fluff pls? :) sorry if this is too much lol

Feedback is always appreciated ! ❤ English isn’t our first language, sorry for that !

When she ran into the bunker, she saw him. Dean killed this boy, this kid who seemed so afraid and disgusted by what his family did. The older Winchester looked merciless and so cold. She screamed out his name, deseperate. Charlie was gone because of them, but she couldn’t bear to see Dean acting like a monster, that same monsters he hunted to save people. And he shooted. The teen fell on the bunker’s ground and his murderer seemed calm. Y/N was afraid. Castiel pushed her away a little.

“Go hide yourself. _ Castiel, this man… That isn’t Dean. _ I know. Go hide yourself, I’ll try to talk to him.”

The angel perfectly knew that wouldn’t work, but he wanted to try anyway.

“And when you finally turn, and you will turn, Sam, Y/N, everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me. The mark changed you Dean. The Dean I know would have never killed this kid.”

His old him, the one he called a fool, was the one she loved. This man who seemed so strong and flirty, this same man who, right after he closed the door of their shared room, let his mask falling and became a broken man, she needed to help by just hugging him for hours, talking about a dream life they both wanted, just being here and cuddling. When she knew him, she hated him. But with so many hunts with the brothers, she learned how he was : afraid, guilty. And now, she was just able to see a monster, cold and soulless. Castiel tried to convice him that he has gone mad, but the hunter was stubborn. She wasn’t aware of the book at the first time, and when she was, she tried to stop Sam, knowing that the cost would be huge. The Mark of Cain, the oldest curse in this world, couldn’t be defeated without a bloody price.

Even with that, she couldn’t imagine herself without Dean. She already seen him sinking, becoming a demon, dying, sacrifying himself for other's sake or the world's.

She knew it. They were hunters, not a really long life, but with the mark, Dean could suffer for centuries. He became a servant of the mark, killed himself step by step, slowly, if he had not already died inside. She heard Castiel’s being hardly punched, supplicating his friend to stop. The huntress couldn’t stop crying, hearing her friend and her beloved fighting. She was here, powerless, just the witness of Dean’s perdition.

Castiel was bleeding hard, and Dean took his angel blade. Y/N got out of her hide but the marked one stood up before she could scream a word.

“You and Sam better stay the hell away from me. _ Wait a minute Dean. _ Really ? You ? Put this gun down, we both know you wouldn’t shoot me. _ Try me Winchester.”

She contained her tears, a serious and resolved gaze on her face. She couldn’t let him out, and if she had to shoot him, then she was prepared. She took a look on Castiel then on the Styne kid’s corpse.

“That’s not you Dean. You can’t let this shit taking you down ! Fuck the book and fuck the mark, if you don’t fight you’ll loose ! _ You know nothing. Do you even know what it is ? C’mon Sweetheart, don’t make me hurt you too. _ Screw you.”

His eyes became lifeless after she said that with a hard ton, as if he didn’t care anymore about anything. He came in front of her, taking the gun and twisting her wrist. The young woman grunted heavily but lost nothing of her desire to keep Dean locked until they could find out how to get him out of this fucking ordeal. She lifted her leg violently, giving him a stroke in the stomach and right after a nudge at the level of the jaw, forcing him to let go his hold on her. She wasn’t huntress for nothing, she was talented, both with her weapons or her fists, which had surprised - and bewitched - the older Winchester at the beggining. He glared at her. She didn’t like to defend herself against Dean, but she didn’t have a choice.

She had known the brothers during a ghost hunt in her hometown. Her parents were both hunters and both were extinct as they had lived. She knew the ropes of the job and the reputation of the two brothers, but she ended up working with them and even falling in love with Dean. It had been 3 years since they had decided to give themselves a chance as a couple after nothing more than sex between them in the first place. Sadly, that didn’t prevent him from striking her as hard as he did to Castiel.

She was suffering, but she needed to fight for her survival. He was so violent, she couldn’t recognize him like this. He punched her face, her stomach, her leg, twisted again her wrist, before pushing her against the wall, her wrists jailed into his large hand. He continued to punch. Her breast was barely denuded because of the fight. He looked so scary, she was looking him with fear and sadness. He passed his hand under her shirt, making her move in objection before pressing violently back on her stomach, making her scream in pain. He had a sadistic look on his lips, as if he was going to devour her.

“Dean, stop ! _ You provoked me Y/N. And if you want to get hurt, then i will make your wish come true. _ Dean no, not that, I beg you…! _ Shut up.”

She tried to struggle, not wanting this from him. She refused to allow Dean using herself like this, and Castiel was dying not far away. But he seemed determined when he went to hardly bite her neck. She screamed, him punching her to keep her silent. She started crying as he played with his hand on her breast before going on her ass, forcing a kiss. She didn’t risk to bite him, she was more than afraid. Her tears flowed down her cheeks while she struggled, one last desesperate time. She felt like an idiot by being so weak against him, feeling her body loving his touch, even if it was a violent one, even when he played with her sensitive part. She cried, screamed a little, trying to stop him, begging him to stop. But the more she struggled, the more he went far. Between rough kisses and fierce bites, she heard him laughing. He was torturing her with his fingers between her legs, even inserting two of them in her. She froze again, powerless because of his strengh. Her vision troubled because of her tears. He stopped and stared at her, a victorious gaze on his face.

“You see ? You enjoyed it. You’re loving it. Why don’t you stay calm and just let go ? _ Screw you… I want him back, I want my man back ! _ It’s me Sweetheart, just a little bit more free. You better remember it. _ No, you’re not Dean. Dean would never try to kill his best friend or try to rape his girlfriend. Bring him back you bastard !”

She screamed again and hit him with her legs with a last push after he killed her last forces, pushing him away and falling violently on the ground, her body injured as never before. She felt dirty and mostly nasty, wanting him so bad but not at all at the same time. She was defenseless, Castiel trying to call him out to stop him. He stood up and sneered while he wiped a blood net of his lips.

“You bitch, good kick. But not enough.”

She received a last kick much more violent than the others in the belly, causing her to spit blood on the floor. She looked at him, barely awake.

“Kill me… _ What ? _ Then kill me ! I won’t loose someone else because of this madness. And especially not you. So kill me now !”

At her words, her trembling voice, which suggested suffering, he remained motionless for a long time. He remembered all they had been through, all she endured for him, for them. He remembered their long conversations too, their applepie dream life with two kids and some hunting, at least advices for hunters, because they couldn’t just stop like that. He realized what he just did to her, his hand going under her shirt, even her underwear, just in order to see her tortured face.

She saw his lost face, this one she knew better than anyone. She tried to move back but she was too injured. He looked sadly at her before just going out without another word.

After that, even if that was hard for Cas and Sam too, she was loosing her mind. her best friend was gone because she helped Sammy and Rowena and know she was loosing the man she loved because he wanted to save the world alone, as always, as his shoulders were the only ones able to do this. She didn’t go on hunt, she stayed at the bunker, doing research with Castiel. She was lost, physically and mentally. She was exhausted. How could she save people if she couldn’t save the ones she called family ? She let Dean down, she was tortured by a thing which used his body. She felt raped, at least not entirely, thanks God. But her injuries were huge, Castiel took a long moment to heal them all.

One day, she heard her phone ringing. She thought about Sam, again calling her to be sure she didn’t kill herself. She sighed before staying frozen when she saw the name on the screen. She picked up, afraid, upset and worried at the same time.

“Dean ? _ Y/N… _ Why are you calling ? _ Look I know I fucked up, but just… Listen. I don’t want you to talk. _ Fine, because I don’t want to. _ I’m done. The mark is killing me. I tried to hunt, I tried to do what I do the best but it didn’t work. I even saw those damn black eyes on the miror. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, even more than sorry. I love you, hell I do. But I almost raped you, killed you and… I can’t forgive myself for that babe, neither do you I think. _ … You’re not going to kill yourself, don’t you ? _ You know that fucking mark wouldn’t allow it. But I’ll die somehow. _ You called me for saying goodbye ? You better be joking Winchester, you can’t do that. We will cure you. _ I’m done sweetheart, and I hurted you. Don’t worry, just know that… I love you. And don’t try to follow my signal. I know you’re tryin’.”

He was right, she was trying to track his number. She holded back her tears, angry as hell.

“Dean, you jerk, I want you back, not dead ! You better not hanging ! _ Goodbye babe. Love ya. I mean it.”

He hanged up, letting her screaming out of rage. She called Sam, hoping he could find him with what she had got. The fear was strong in her but she couldn’t dare loosing him, whatever he did or he was.

“Sammy, bring him back. Please. _ I’ll try.”

She was waiting, suffocating alone down there, even if Cas tried to reassure her. She went outside for some fresh air when she saw all these black cloud on the sky. She knew that was real bad. And she suspected Rowena and the book of the Damned for this. But if that was that, then that significated that Dean was free. Now she was afraid. And if he was dead ? She couldn’t stay calm in her room or in the library. But when she saw the boys, she froze. Sam and Dean were here. She didn’t care about Cas’ questions or Sam. She went in front of Dean and slapped him.

“Yeah, I deserved that. _ You think ?! You deserve more than just that ! I couldn’t sleep ‘cause of freaking nightmares ! You know what you did to me, and looking at Sam, you fucked up with your brother too ! And you called me for a goodbye ?! You’re a fucking bastard Winchester !”

Silence. She sighed, unable to look at him. But she saw his arm.

“The mark…? _ Gone. All gone. _ So it’s really you ? I mean … Not this demon ? _ Yeah. Y/N, I’m sorry about all that crap, I didn’t wante- _ I don’t care now.”

She was afraid of him, on what he was capable of. However, she could see guilt in his beautiful green eyes. The same eyes she loved so much, his eyes. She felt her heart beating hardly, her entire body feeling warn and relieved and a little afraid at the same time.

“We will fight this crap thing. Just… Let me find you again. My stupid and childish jerk. _ Would you forgive me one day ? _ Maybe. I want it. I told you, I wanted you back. That demon wasn’t you. I prefer to think like this to move on but… It will be hard Dean. _ Yeah. We will talk babe, I promise ya. I love you, you need to know that. And even if you need to g- _ Don’t finish your sentence Winchester, I plan to stay here. I just… need time.”

Sam told her what Dean tried to do with Death and what he did to him. She was shocked to heard that her boyfriend killed Death but at least the boys are alive. She also heard all the stuff about the woman on the smoke, the Darkness. She knew that will be hard. But this time, she will be ready. She won’t let Dean alone, she won’t allow it. She knew that things will be hard, but again they will save the world, whatever she has to do to help - or save - her family.

#spnfamily #spn oneshot #spn one shot #one shot #oneshot #supernatural one shot #supernatural oneshot #dean #dean winchester #moc!dean #dean x reader #dean x y/n #moc!dean x reader

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elleloumay · 7 years ago

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Imaginary lover

(W A R N I N G)

I don’t know what this is but I’m going insane so I figured I’d write a short something. It has season 12 references so if you haven’t finished watching be warned that you’ll be exposed to a massive spoiler from the season finale.

I apologise if this is poorly written or worded because I’m in a bad head space at the moment.

This fic contains:

Depressed Dean.

The tiniest amount of fluff.

Destiel.

Super feels.

Season 13 (Castiel is...well, you know if you watched the end of season 12.)

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt.

Dean was the one that carried Castiel’s broken bpdy back minside the bunker as Sam held the door open for him to pass. He held him craddled to his chest like newborn, his tears continuously streaming doen his freckled cheeks as he made his way down the stairs and then along the hall to Castiel’s room.

Once he was inside he laid him out atop the bedding in a gentle way, as though the man was made of porcelain or glass. After he stepped back and gazed down at his form, he told himself that Castiel was merely sleeping - but angel’s didn’t sleep and the thought evaportated from his mind as quickly as it had tried to form.

Sam knew better than to intrude on this moment, Dean had never told his brother not to follow him but it had passed between them - unspoken - as so many other things had before. He knew that if Sam had been in Castiel’s room at this moment he wouldn’t have been able to hold himself together as well as he was managing to, though if he was honest he was barely able to stand.

This time felt so impossibly final, not like the previous times he’d thought the angel had left him forever - perhaps it was because he’d watched the grace fading from him or perhaps it was just because he was smart enough to know when something was over but he couldn’t rid himself of the hopeless feeling of ground breaking loss that was consuming him.

He knealt down beside Castiel and laid his head on his solid chest, breathing in the familiar scent of him as he let his tears spill out in torrents. He’d never felt so lost, it was worse than any feeling he’d previously experienced, a hole had been punched through his chest - a wound that would never heal, it would stay there and fester.

As he wept he mumbled broken words, his fingers wrapping tightly in the material of Castiel’s shirt. He shook with sobs and made sounds akin to a wounded animal, rocking back and forth as he desperately clung to the angel - he couldn’t let go, he couldn’t bring himself to turn around and walk away leaving Castiel alone in his room. It was too painful.

That night Dean didn’t sleep, he just cried and said a million pleading prayers to anyone he thought might still be able to hear them. He begged and begged for his angel’s return but his pleas went unanswered.

A week passed by in a haze of whiskey and a flux of emotions, Dean was so consumed with his pain that he never heard a wors Sam said to him though he knew his brother had tried to get through to him many times. He knew his brother had tried to ask him what they were going to do about their Mom or Lucifer and Jack - he just couldn’t register any other problem aside from the agony he was experiencing.

Most of the time Dean crouched, unmoving, beside Castiel’s bed next to his corpse. The now empty vessel didn’t rot, it didn’t change at all and Dean clung to this as evidence that Castiel would return to him at any moment, he found himself speaking to him as though he was still present.

And soon he began to see things he knew weren’t real, he knew that there was no way Castiel was moving his fingers or openening his eyes. But his mind, in it’s half crazed state, reasoned that perhaps this was Castiel coming back to him. He wanted it to be true more than anything, he willed it into reality.

It wasn’t long after that - little more than a day - when he first felt Castiel’s fingers tighten around his own. The logical part of his brain screamed that he was losing his sanity but a bigger part of him roared that he wasn’t and he returned the slight squeeze. Castiel’s lips pulled up into one of his grins that could light up a room.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel said, his voice making Dean’s heart sing.

“I thought I’d - we’d - lost you buddy.” Dean could feel tears leaking down his cheeks again now, he hadn’t known he had anymore left to shed.

“Of course not, Dean. You know I’ll never leave you truly.” Castiel’s hand reached out to cup Dean’s cheek in a way that was full of all the things they never dared to say to one another. He found himself leaning into the touch, desperate for the warmth it was spreading through him.

“How did you come back?” His voice cracked in the middle as he stared at Castiel in wonder. But as he watched the angel became still once more and his question went unanswered. He felt a large hand on his shoulder and turned to see his brother towering over him.

“Who are you talking to?” Sam asked, a look of concern plastered all over his face.

“Cas,” Wasn’t that obvious to Sammy? Castiel was right there, he’d been answering Dean back and touching him. His eyes fell back to Castiel’s form and he found the bed empty - bedding rigid and unslept in. “You made him leave!” He shouted indignantly as he sprang to his feet racing over to the door.

Sam stuck out one of his wide, long, arms to stop him, “Dean, he’s been buried for two months. We buried him,” He was staring blankly at him, willing Dean to hear the truth in his words and deseperate to have his big brother back, “He’s gone.” He said the last words in the same tone you’d use when explaining to a child that the tooth fairy wasn’t real.

Dean’s body sagged against his brother when he got flashes of himself digging the grave - he was pulled into a bone crushing hug and he sobbed until his lungs felt heavy and his throat felt sore. Sam just held him, some tears leaving his eyes too - he knew how Dean felt, he shared this agony although his was for another person it was still the same.

It was another two weeks before Dean saw Castiel again, he was sat in the library at the table where Sam and himself had carved their initials with a third of whiskey left in the bottle that was loosely held in his hand.

He jumped when he felt a hand creep slowly down his shoulder to rest at a spot over his heart, he didn’t have to turn to know who it was - he could smell him, the familiar smell of home. He breathed it in deeply, letting his eyes slide closed as he felt a second hand snake around to meet the first in the middle.

“Mmm, Cas,” He hummed, leaning his head back a little without opening his eyes, his next words left him in a whisper, “I missed you.”

He felt the angel dip his head and press his shapely lips to the middle of his forehead before he replied, “I’m here now.”

Dean scooted himself back from the table and finally looked up at Castiel, he was the same as the last time he had seen him with his bright, large, eyes and his tousled hair. He smiled reassuringly at Dean and tilted his head - Dean grabbed him and pulled him on to his own lap.

“Don’t leave again please, Cas.” He wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist as he spoke, holding him in place as he laid his head against the angel’s shoulder.

“I never truly left.” His voice sounded like it was coming from very far away and it resonated within Dean’s soul, making him close his eyes again as he slightly swayed in his seat with his angel clutched tightly against his chest. They stayed like that for what felt like ions before Dean felt himself being shaken.

“Dean! Dean!” Now that he had registered the voice he began to register other things like the burning feeling in his throat and the dampness that seemed to be beneath his cheek. He ached all over and he could feel the cold ground pressing against him.

“Don’t you dare leave me! Not you too...” It was Sam that was speaking - no, screaming. His voice was ripping through Dean’s skull and making him feel like he was going to throw up - he tried to focus himself and his eyes zeroed in on his brother’s face.

“Why ya’ shakin’ me, Sammy?” He asked thickly, his raw throat protesting his use. He had a disgusting acidic taste in his mouth and he scrunched his nose up.

“How many did you take?” Sam’s voice broke as he trembled where he crouched in front of Dean.

“Huh?” He responded, his brother wasn’t making sense.

“How many pills, Dean,” He heard a bottle being shaken and his eyes darted to the container of painkillers Sam was holding, “How many of these?”

“I had a headache.” He struggled to focus his gaze again on his brother’s face.

“How-fucking-many, Dean!?” Sam was speaking through gritted teeth, his free hand digging painfully into Dean’s shoulder.

Dean tried to pull away from the vice like grip, “Ow, Sammy! Lemme go.”

He felt himself being hauled up off of the floor and dropped roughly down on to a bed - the room spun as it came into clearer view. They were in Castiel’s room, “You’re a goddamn selfish bastard, Dean.”

Dean looked down at the plain t-shirt he wore, vomit coated his front. He raised his eyes again to meet Sam’s tear filled ones, “How am I selfish? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“So you don’t consider killing yourself and leaving me wrong? I thought we were brothers! I thought we were in this together, had eachother’s backs. But you’re too caught up in yourself to care about anything at all anymore.” Sam was so close to Dean’s face now that he could fully see the tiredness in his eyes, how red and bloodshot they were and how lined his brow was from worry.

“I never...” He shook his head, fingers absently balling into fists around Castiel’s bedding, “I didn’t try to kill myself.”

“I found you in here in a puddle of your own vomit, this bottle of pills was clutched in your hand and a bottle of whiskey was smashed to pieces by your head,” He pulled at his own hair as his eyes bore into Deans, “It’s pretty obvious what you tried to do.”

Dean broke down, his eyes screwing shut as he tipped forwards, his body trembling as his sobs echoed loudly in the long empty room. He’d come so close...He felt Sam pull him into a hug again, speaking agsinst the top of his head in a hushed voice of comfort.

Dean stood over the little mound of grass that had grown over Castiel’s grave, his eyes cast skyward as he wiped at them. He spoke aloud, addressing the blue expanse above Earth, “Why did you have to take him from me?” He shouted, his shoulders shaking a little as his voice gained more anger, “Why couldn’t you let me have that one good thing?” He was screaming now, his hands balled into fists by his sides, “Why did you take him so soon?”

Before he headed back to the bunker he laid a bunch of wildflowers at the base of the roughly crafted cross that stood at the head of Castiel’s grave - he let his eyes fall to the small, clay, bee that sat there. He’d made that for Castiel, it was the only thing he had wanted to place there - it reminded him of the time Castiel had appeared on the front of baby covered in bees and still mostly insane after he’d saved Sam’s mind from Lucifer hallucinations.

He vowed silently that when he finally did manage to track Lucifer down he would kill him for what he’d done. The fire that his rage fanned was one of the only things keeping him going, that and his brother.

Notes:

Alright so I know that was short and it was mostly depressed and mouring Dean. I’m sorry.

#destiel #fanfic #elleloumay #ellemurr #season 12 supernatural fic #trigger warnin #spoiler warning #non-canon #writing #personal #me #drabble #suicide warning #deanxcas #sorry #emotional

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evendeadlmthehero · 5 years ago

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The Five Year Promise: The Aftermath (7/10)

Summary: Y/N Stark, a 20 year old, makes a promise with Peter, a 16 year old, that if five years pass, and they still haven’t found love, they’d go on their first date. Then the snap happens. Y/N is gone. Peter isn’t.

Warning: angst, mentions of drugs and alcohol, NSFW, swearing

A/N: this is my interpretation of how Peter will be if this had happened to him. Also, I hope you guys like this shitty edit I did of 2023 Peter 😂😂😂

The Five Year Promise Masterlist

During Avengers: Endgame (2023)

Five Years Later

Peter heard nothing but murmurs in Spanish and the sound of money being counted. He stood up in the roof and watched from the window, listening in with his Spider-Hearing. The night was humid, and Peter almost regretted wearing the Black coat around his noir suit.

He wore a beanie over his head with two holes near where his eyes were and a hat on top. His beard prickled against the material of the beanie. He watched as someone rolled in with a carriage filled with what he assumed was cocaine.

‘They don’t deserve to live,’ Peter thought, as he watched the men laugh, smoking illicit substances. He looked around to see if anyone else was around. When he made sure the coast was clear, he webbed himself over to the men, who got up from the sudden sound.

The men looked over to Peter, their face filling up with fear. They knew him. They heard the rumours. The man who killed others without mercy. The ‘Baba Yaga’ they called him, the man who came out of the night to kill. The man who donned a black coat and a hat. They all knew him too well.

The men then shakingly pulled out their gun ready to shoot him before Peter webbed them up. They were now stuck on the wall, fearing for their life. One of the men even let out a tear as Peter chuckled at them, taking a gun out from underneath his coat.

“P-please. I- I do this for them- the drugs- it’s- money has been hard lately-“ one of the man stuttered as Peter twirled the gun around his fingers, circling around the men as he watched them beg for their life. “Please, no, I have a family and a lover.”

Peter stalked over to them slowly, like a lion and its prey. The man begun shaking violently as the infamous man he had heard about walked over to him, pointing to cool metal towards his head. Peter had tilted his head, as he spoke the next words menacingly.

“So did I.”

Multiple bangs were heard before all the bodies of men hung from the web. The web was turning red as blood seeped from their bodies and towards Peter’s feet. He then wiped the gun with the pocket square in his coat before chucking it near the men’s feet. Lifting up the collar of his coat, Peter walked out of the cartel and into the streets of Mexico, deseperate to find a bar and drink himself to oblivion.

He takes off his mask and buttons up his coat to hide his suit, before lighting up a cigarette and placing it between his lips. Walking inside the bar, he orders 3 pints of beer, drinking it like it was water. Peter liked the way it tasted. How it made him feel. How it made him forget everything. He would be lying if he said he didn’t have a drinking problem. How could he not? Five years ago, he had lost everything. He then looked over at the watch you had given him.

2 hours, 32 mins and 5 secs.

He let out a scoff, before drinking another pint of beer, the bartender looking at him like he was crazy. Peter thought he used to be so naive, so naive to think you guys would actually go on a date. But now, he wasn’t naive. He knew how harsh the world was. And in a harsh world, you have to stand your ground.

Peter looks around until he spots a girl who smirks at him and gives him a little wave before giggling. He had noticed how she had the same colour hair as you, same colour eyes. She looked somewhat like you. But you were unique, you were too beautiful to have a doppelgänger. But the girl looked like a cousin maybe.

Peter smirked, and took another swig of the beer before placing it down. He then gave the bartender the money before walking over to the girl. He then threw his cigarette on the floor, stepping on it before nodding to the girl to follow him.

This happened everyday for Peter. It was an endless cycle. You were gone, May was gone, Ned was gone and he had cut ties with all the Avengers, including Tony who had desperately tried to stay in contact with him.

Everyday, Peter would go out murdering people who he thought didn’t deserve to live. Who he thought were villains and deserved to die in the decimation. Then he went up to the bar, drank till he saw the stars, then took the girl that resembled you the most to a motel.

The girl giggled as Peter walked her up the stairs of the motel. Peter was emotionless, as he pushed her against the wall, kissing her with no remorse. He then picked her up and chucked her on the bed before he sat down on the chair near the bed, unbuckling his pants.

“Suck,” he commanded in his now gruff and deep voice. The girl giggles, crawling over to him and placing her mouth around his member. Peter sharply inhaled as he held her hair into a ponytail, watching her go down on him.

She was teasing him, and that frustrated the man. So he grabbed her head and forced her down his cock, making her gag. The girl obliged and continued moving up and down his member. Before he could cum, he moved her head to the side and chucked her onto the bed.

He placed a condom on whilst the girl let out a cringey giggle, making Peter frustrated at her supposedly ‘dumb girl’ persona. “Shut the fuck up and be quiet.”

The girl went quiet but still smiled, looking like she was having the time of her life. Peter pushed her back before he thrusted into the girl with all his power, making the girl scream. Peter kept going, too drunk to think about anything. He looked over to the girl and for a secound he saw you. He saw your eyes looking back at him.

“Y/N,” he moaned, too drunk to care or understand what was going on. The girl also didn’t respond to the name, enjoying it too much to let him stop. He then looked over to his watch.

24 minutes and 43 secound.

After all was done, he kicked the girl out, not bothering to find out her name. He then grabbed a bottle a beer from the fridge and opened it. He looked around the dump that was his motel for the night and sighed, lying back on his bed.

Peter had given up on school, on university and on the ‘simple life’. He didn’t want neither of that. Because if you or Ned didn’t get to experience that, why should he?

He then looked at his watch that ticked away slowly on his wrist. One that you gave him and he couldn’t find himself to throw away.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

The watch beeped. Peter stared at it, his jaw clenched. The sound from the watch was like a little taunt, like it was reminding him of what could’ve been. He bit his bottom lip before picking up the bottle of beer and chucking it against the wall as it shattered against the wall. He then picked up the chair, also chucking it against the wall and breaking in half.

“Fuck!” Peter yelled, punching the wall with his fist. His knuckles bled but he kept going. “I was fucking close! I was so fucking close!”

Peter put his hands on his hips, looking at the mess he created around him, the numerous bottles of beers around him, the knives and guns he had bought and a random female’s bra near his bed.

“I was so fucking close,” Peter whispered, his tongue against the inside of his cheek as tiredness finally caught up to him.

Tony let out a sigh, standing in the middle of the lab that you used to work in. Today, it was supposed to be your 26th birthday. So every year, since you were gone, Tony would go in the lab and just look around. He had demanded the Avengers not to touch anything. To leave everything as it was the moment you guys left.

There was the birthday hat on the table from your 21st birthday. A bunch of multicoloured pens around left lying around the table. Everything was as you left it, not an speck out of place.

Tony walked over to the chair, scared to sit on it. He didn’t want to move it. He didn’t want to move anything. But it was time. Pepper told him it was time, as her and Morgan stood near the door watching him. Tony shook his head before sitting on the chair. “Come here Morgan.”

Morgan ran over to him, sitting on his lap. Tony then proceeded to play with her hair, brushing his fingers along it. “This is where your big sister used to sit and make cool things.”

“When do I get to meet her daddy?” Morgan pleaded for maybe to thousandth time these couple of years, desperate to meet her older sister that her father wouldn’t stop talking about.

“She- she’s busy right now,” Tony’s face faltered for a secound, his eyes meeting Pepper’s. She gave him an encouraging smile, telling him that he was doing well. Because for the past five years, Tony had it hard. But thankfully for him, he had Pepper. She helped him see a psychiatrist. She helped him out of bed and eat food. Made him find a purpose again.

“Okay,” Morgan spoke, her head falling in disappointment. She then looked over the table, opening a draw from a table.

“Morgan no!” Tony yelled at her, not wanting her to open or move anything. He got Morgan off her lap, who ran to her mother, crying. “You can’t just touch things that aren’t yours, okay!”

Tony was livid, but stopped when he heard the sniffles of Morgan who was clinging on to the legs of her mother. Pepper gave Tony a smile before moving down to Morgan. “Hey Morg, how about we give Daddy some alone time yeah? He’s just cranky because someone ate the last Poptart.”

“W’okay,” Morgan mumbled as her bottom lip trembled, following her mother out of the room. Tony then sighed, angry at himself for making her upset, playing with the necklace that contained your ashes. He brushed his hair back before his eyes met the eyes of a red-headed women.

“Hey,” Natasha spoke, walking around before sitting on the table where you used to work, careful not to move anything. Tony nodded at her, biting the inside of his cheek. “How are you doing?”

“Well shit, but everyone keeps telling me to move on, that it’s been five years so,” Tony trailed off, not meeting Romanoff’s eyes. “So I came here, deciding its time to you know, open things up and actually put this room to use- but I guess I can’t do that yet.”

“No one’s telling you to move on Tony. You lost your daughter. Truth is, you will never move on,” Natasha spoke, carefully watching her friend of now 13 years let out a tear. She had never seen her friend cry, so this was new to her. “I don’t think I’ll ever move on either. But Tony, Y/N would have wanted us to go on with our lives, put it to good use, even if it’s small stuff like using this room again. Because if we don’t make good use of our lives, then Thanos should’ve killed all of us.”

Tony sniffed, quickly wiping his eye before other tears fell down. “Every time I look at Morgan, I see Y/N staring back at me. And every time Morgan speaks, I feel like it’s Y/N talking back at me. Like when Morgan tells me she loves me, it’s like Y/N is out there, saying those words. I-I just wish Y/N would have met her.”

“Yeah, me too,” Natasha nodded, grabbing his hand. Tony’s eyes wandered around the room before looking at the draw that Morgan opened, his eyes squinting. His hand moved away from Natasha’s as he moved closer to a paper that had your writing in their, grabbing it to read it.

He read the calculations that you had drew, standing up from his seat. Natasha also stood up, now curious. “What’s wrong?”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, look alive,” Tony spoke, as a holographic computer came out. He then started playing around, adding numbers and equations, trying to figure out what you had written.

“Tony, what’s going on?” Natasha had asked, as she watched a concentrated Tony typing away rapidly on the screen, before the screen said ‘loading’.

“Y/N was trying to figure out why her suit healed her. It was pure accident, happened out of the blue when she was messing around with Quantum and nanotech, b-but this equation- I think she was testing to see if her suit was-“ he stopped when the words ‘SUCCESS” appeared. Tony fell back in his seat as his hand covered his mouth. His whole body was shaking as his heart started beating rapidly. “She- she didn’t know.“

He went quiet, unable to speak. Natasha shook her head, unable to understand what the equation was and why there was a circular-shaped machine now displayed on the screen. “She didn’t know what Tony?”

“That she discovered time travel.”

Peter washed the blood from his hands, the water turning a light pink before going down the sink. He turned off the tap, shaking his hands before drying them with a towel. He then took his suit off, chucking them in the washer. He then looked at himself in the mirror, the various tattoos and scars scattered around his body. His whole left and right arm was covered and so was his chest.

Peter wasn’t the scrawny kid he used to believe he was. No. He had bulked up completely. His whole appearance had changed too. He didn’t even shave his beared, leaving it to grow for a month or two before giving it a trim.

He sighed, walking over to the fridge of his new Motel in Cuba and grabbing a beer from the fridge, ready to drink himself to unconsciousness again. He had a tough day and needed to unwind.

Peter had taken down a sex trafficking ring here in Cuba, slaughtering all the men who were involved. One of them had been harder to kill, as he was enhanced. Turned out they were prepared, just in case the Baba Yaga came around just like he did to all criminals. He had received a few cuts and bruises but eventually had stabbed him multiple times, getting blood on his hands, clothes and even droplets near his face.

He cracked open the beer, ready to drink it before his hairs in his arm stood up, telling him someone was in the room. He put down the drink quietly, his hands moving slowly to grab the gun that he hid under the coffee table.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” He heard a familiar voice speak. He let out a scoff, shaking his head as his hand fell away from the gun and instead reached the now lukewarm beer on his coffee table.

“After five fucking years, the great Tony Stark decides to pay me a visit.”

“You didn’t make it easy,” Tony spoke, walking over to sit on the couch in front of him. It was now that Peter realised Tony had aged, white hairs prominent in his beard and and hair. Tony too was taken back by Peter’s new appearance. He almost didn’t recognise him. “You never answered my calls, emails-“

“Let’s cut the bullshit Tony, if you’d actually wanted to find me you would’ve done it ages ago,” Peter spat out, chugging the beer in one go. He then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“So I guess you’re not calling ‘Mr Stark’ anymore. Does that mean I don’t call you Spider-Man anymore, oh great Baba Yaga,” Tony replied back, as Peter’s face faltered for a secound before going back to his emotionless facade. “Yeah, didn’t think I’d know about that did you? Going around, killing people Pete that’s not you, you can’t just decide who lives or not.”

“He did,” Peter spoke back, rage in his eyes as he thought about the Titan. “He took away my Aunt, my best friend and the one girl I fell in love with.”

Tony’s face dropped when he heard that both his Aunt and best friend were gone. He didn’t know. “Peter, why didn’t you tell me?”

“It doesn’t matter now does it,” Peter spoke, clasping his hands together as he moved forward. “I did what I did to get through life and you did what you did. You’re free to leave if you have cleared your conscious by checking up on after all this time. Want to donate to me too? Since you do that to all your worries in life?”

“Peter you need help. You can’t just be murdering people who you think deserve to die and drink yourself to oblivion,” Tony urged him, trying to speak some sense into him. He then saw a female’s underwear near his bed, shaking his head at him. “And sleep with god knows how many women. Peter just- just come with us. We can get you help.”

“No, you can’t do that now. You’re late. Five years too late. I’m not the same Peter you think I am,” Peter spat out, before standing up and pointing towards the door. “Now if you’re done pretending to care, I really do strongly advise you leave.”

“Peter, there is one more thing I need to tell you,” Tony spoke, letting out a sigh as his face turned into one of seriousness. “But you need to sit down for this.”

Peter let out a scoff, before sitting down on the couch. He then looked at Tony like if this wasn’t important, that he was ready to kick him out.

“Y/N the suit she created, she thought it was a regenerating suit,” Tony begun, shaking his head as he stood up. Peter’s face scrunched up in anger and anguish at the mention of your name. “But that’s thing! It wasn’t!”

“Are you seriously here to talk to me about fucking suits?”

“No! Listen!” Tony interrupted him, as he paced around the room, waving his arms around. “It wasn’t a regeneration suit! I mean- it kinda was but that’s not the point! The suit didn’t heal wounds, it took it back in time to the point when she first put on the suit when she wasn’t wounded! She- she wrote this equation but before she tested it out, she was gone!”

“What are you talking about Tony?” Peter spoke, now too standing up. Tony was talking too fast and too much that it all sounded like a blur in his head.

“It means Y/N discovered Time Travel unintentionally,” Tony spoke, breathing in and out heavily from walking around the room too much. “And I didn’t know what to do until Scott Lang brought Pym Particles. Pete- it means we can travel back in time, before Thanos had the stones. Before he destroyed them. We can get everyone back Pete.”

Peter stood their in shock, not knowing what to do. He then let out a sigh, trying to hold back tears from welling in his eyes. He had been trying to forget what had happened, he had no hope left. And now Tony came in her and told him they had a chance. “Get out.”

“Pete-“

“I said get the fuck out!” Peter yelled furiously, his whole body shaking. Tony stood still, not moving an inch. He wasn’t going to leave Peter alone again, not this time.

“Peter, I know this is a tough subject for you,” Tony begun, slowly walking over to the Parker boy. “It’s a tough subject for me as well. I lost a daughter and I also lost you. But we owe it to everyone to try. Even if it’s now or in the next ten years, if there’s a little glimmer of chance, we have to take it. For Ned, May and especially for her.”

“You can’t do this. You can’t- you can’t just come here after five fucking years and tell me you’re gonna solve things! That everything is alright!” Peter spoke, his hands still shaking from the subject of the great titan. “You guys did that last time. You tried to kill him and it didn’t do anything because he had already got rid of the stones. Please- just leave me alone.”

“No,” Tony shook his head, looking Peter directly in the eyes. “I did that five years ago and look what happened to you. I’m not doing that again.”

Peter shook his head as he clenched his fists. Tony had wanted him to come back and fight, but he wasn’t the same person as he was before. “You don’t need me to do this.”

“What makes you think we don’t?”

“I’ve changed,” Peter mumbled, sitting back on his couch and playing with his hand, a habit he had when he was nervous or guilty. “I’ve killed. I use women. I’m an alcoholic, a smoker- fuck Tony sometimes I even use the drugs from the drug dealers that I kill.”

“Peter, you’re not the only one that’s changed,” Tony spoke, walking over to sit next to the Parker kid. “Thor has a drinking problem too. Clint, he was out murdering people who he thought didn’t deserve to live. I had a drinking problem too when my parents died. And I would’ve had a drinking problem if Pepper was around. No one judges you Pete. We’ve all done things we regret.”

“Even if we want to bring everyone back,” Peter looked down on the floor, shame for what he has become slowly creeping up at the mention of you and the face of his old mentor right in front of him. He didn’t realise what he had done was wrong until the past caught up to him. “She- she wouldn’t want me back. She told me to live my life, to find love and to look after you. She made me promise her. I’ve let her down. No one would look at me the same.”

“You had to do what you’ve done to get by. She’d understand,” Tony spoke, walking over to sit next to him on the couch. “Now we have to do what we got to do to bring them back. So are you in or not?”

Peter looked at Tony, at his old mentor, his once father figure. He then thought about you, his aunt and Ned. He’d do anything to get you guys back, even if it meant dying. It didn’t matter if you wouldn’t want him anymore because of what he’s become. Because he just wanted to hear your voice again. See you again.

“I’m in.”

It was night time at the Stark Cabin. Peter and Tony stood in the lab, as Tony was playing with the computer. He was looking at all the suits he had made for Peter, before coming across the Iron-Spider suit. He then pressed start, making nanoparticles move before forming the suit.

When it had been completed, Tony picked it up and handed it over to Peter. He gently picked it up, a weird feeling consuming his body. He hadn’t been Spider-Man for almost 4 years now. He had gone as Baba Yaga, wearing a black suit. It had been a while since he wore a red and blue suit.

“I don’t know about this,” Peter spoke, as he tried to put on the ironsuit. It moulded in his body, nanotech surrounding his body. He forgot the feeling of the cool metal, always used to the fabrics of cotton and leather of his noir suit that he’d been wearing for eternity.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Peter held his breath as flashbacks started to play in his mind. He gulped, seeing flashes of planet Titan, you and that eventful day.

“It hurts so much,” you sobbed as Peter held you before you fell on the floor. He watched as dust particles formed and reformed on your hands. It was like life was continuously being ripped and reformed from your body.

Peter wasn’t listening to what you were saying when you spoke to your father. He was only thinking about you. How he promised he wouldn’t let you die, but there you were, dying in his arms again. Then you had whispered his name and all his attention had been on you.

He remembered pleading you, no, begging you not to turn off your suit. That it was the only thing giving you life. But you were in too much pain. And it was only getting worse and worse. So, you told F.R.I.D.A.Y to turn it off and Peter had to watch your body collapse like a horror movie.

Peter shook his head, trying to get rid of the images in his head. He started breathing in and out heavily, his face getting hot and his heart beating rapidly. He looked at Tony whilst grabbing his own chest. “I-I can’t do this. I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“Peter, you can, okay?” Tony spoke, walking over to him, before grabbing his shoulder. “You just need to take a breath and remind yourself about what you’re doing and why.”

“I can’t okay! I was slowly moving on and then you put this suit on me and I saw her face staring right back at me!” Peter yelled, clenching his jaw before scratching his beard. “It was a mistake, I shouldn’t have come here.”

“But you did!” Tony replied back, as he put down the pencil he’d been using to tap on the holographic computer. “It means you want to do it. You want to bring everyone back.”

“I can’t if I’m going to have a panic attack every time I put on this suit-“

“Daddy!” A scream interrupted him as a girl ran towards Tony and hugged his legs. Tony then looked away from Peter, bringing his attention to his daughter. “Mommy told me to say goodnight.”

Peter started at her, unable to believe that Tony had another child. What made it also more shocking is her resemblance to you. It was like a miniature you was walking around and for a minute there, he couldn’t breath properly. This had also managed to stop his panic attack.

“Goodnight pumpkin,” Tony spoke, picking her up to kiss her head. Morgan then faced Peter, looking at him curiously. She looked at the various tattoos that was sprawled around his neck but couldn’t see the rest that was covered by his suit. He also had a beard so Morgan knew he was ‘old’.

“Daddy who’s that?”

Peter kept looking at her, unable to get his eyes off her. Her eyes had eyelashes that gave her a cat eye look, just like you had. She had also the same dimples and nose. The only difference was the fact that Morgan had Tony’s coloured eyes, which you didn’t, you got from your mother. “She- she looks like Y/N.”

Tony stayed quiet, knowing this had sparked something in Peter. Maybe all Peter needed was a reminder, a little kickstart, to get his head back in the game. Sure, five years was hell for Peter. But if there was something that was consistent about Peter no matter what happened in his life, it was his consistent urgency to fight.

“You know Y/N!” Morgan jumped out of her father’s grip and ran over to Peter, looking up at him excitedly. “Is she here!”

Peter smiled at her, looking at Tony before giving him a nod, telling him he was ready. He was ready to get his Aunt, Ned and you back. He was ready to give life another go. And if you didn’t give him a secound chance, it would be alright. As long you were back.

“She will be soon.”

Taglist (CLOSED)

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