#A Grizzly Problem

[bearlyfunctioning]

Comic #352 : Manifest Anatomy - Website links here ~ Short tailed characters know this well xD artists really want to show off the nub even if the pose would realistically hide it. But- Shhh shh… it's ok don't think about it too hard! 🐻💥 Also: Before you say anything I do know the folk-tale of how the bear lost their tail 🫣

[wasyago]

the kind of chemistry these two have is very entertaining

[embracedfire]

Literally cannot stop thinking about the slimecicle cinematic universe

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH HEADCANONS?

scu edition. You can tell I was struggling because I kept talking about charlie. Help me.

- charlie does not blame himself for banishment, he feels SUPER bad for Grizzly's death and whole corruption thing, but does not think it's his fault.

- bizly is kinda like nimona y'know? Always shapeshifts

- nobody can tell what charlie is. Is he a slime? Hybrid? Human? Something else? Nobody actually knows.

- no because, 100! Days charlie is the OPPOSITE of Godcicle (despite one being based on the other.)

Godcicle is not a perfect hero, he's childish, arrogant, never takes no as an answer, always thinks he's right,

But none of these things match 100!days, it's like if he's the better version of his god counterpart.

- condi was already a reptile hybrid before he became a god, nobody can't tell if he's a dragon, lizard or something else. His god powers probably messed that up.

- aside from charlie, the rest of council were all mortals who were turned into gods. (I LIKE THE "charlie was a god all along and was just playing around" THING OKAY?? IT MATCHES WITH WHY HE NEVER TALES THINGS SERIOUSLY)

- grizzly is actually the one who can cook. charlie can grow ANYTHING but can't cook for the life of him. mainly because he plays with the food rather than actually cook.

- Condi is like the mom of the group.

- they all listen to charlie because they are convinced he has more experience on the god stuff, but they don't quite realize that his "god stuff" is playing around with mortals.

- charlie breaks the fourth wall a lot.

- charlie calls his followers "subscribers".

- bizly was actually the one who gifted charlie the little slimes on Charlie's shoulder and head.

- and so charlie, gifted bizly beewee.

- grizzly gets constantly called a furry by everyone because he's a dog hybrid.

- charlie has no idea on how to be a normal guy. If he has to disguise as a mortal, he's SHIT at it.

Yes, the others know how to, they used to be mortals, but charlie? Has zero idea.

- charlie played it off as a game, but he really just made his mortals friends gods because he was... lonely and because he was scared of the inevitable death that soon would reach those three.

- grizzly IS a fucking furry. He's a DOG. FUCKIN DOGGY. like he's a small fluffy puppy dude. He just takes the form of a human. (The only shapeshifting he can do, really.)

You know his dog persona? Y'know his little mascot? That little DOG WITH HUMAN HANDS?

that's grizzly.

Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUNNY KYLE

- charlie is not human. That's for sure.

- bizly glasses work like queen's glasses in deltarune.

- condi fav is probably charlie lmao

- bizly favorite unironically is grizzly

- you know that video of 100 players going against the gang? I imagine it just being charlie gathering a bunch of followers of his and said out of nowhere one morning "we have 100 people tracking us down!!!" To the others in the council.

- no, no one actually knows (aside from willbur) that each single slime in each single server is a different guy. (Simply because Wilbur has a similar situation)

Like, y'know slimes? How they split? Yeah. They were all part of one big slime, who knows where that is, and they one day split and become a slimecicle!

And some are oddly similar. (For pure coincidence, esmp and 100! Days are similar in design, despite not being really related in lore.)

Also, before anyone gets confused, 100!days is the only one who didn't come from the mother slime, he's an experiment.

The rest, yes.

But also remember that the whole splitting part is not literal(maybe who knows.) it was for you to understand,

They surely come from the same mother slime though!

It's like if they were created from the same thing and put in different parts of the world to interact.

Please it's late please understand bro

- bizly looks up to charlie, surprisingly

- after Grizzly's death and the defeat of the ender dragon, charlie was never seen again. It's like he dissapeared.

condi and bizly have NO clue of where he is.

- IF condi and bizly would ever meet a slimecicle, they wouldn't get any answers, aside from "nope, wrong guy! Nope, wrong slimecicle!"

- grizzly can't sleep with the lights off. He needs at least something on.

- charlie just can't sleep, he's an insomniac.

- we don't talk about condi sleep schedule.

- at least every, or well, most slimecicles gives the uncanny feeling. Look human, isn't human. The more you stare, the less human it looks.

- the slimes in slime story exist! They are all the slimes that can be found in the different biomes and places!

It was thanks to Bizly, creating them after charlie little silly doodles and ideas of random slimes he thought would be cool to have around the world.

It was like a little gift, and charlie reaction made it all worth it.

- the equivalent of going afk is the character stopping everything they are doing and just stare into space and be unresponsive until they come back, charlie is the only guy who says he went afk, though.

- charlie has BAGS under his eyes to the point you think he draws them to be dramatic.

- condi is just, idk I think someone dug under his eyes.

- somehow, despite charlie being an insomniac and quite literally developing a coffee addiction just to stay awake, he is the most energetic (after bizly)

- condi takes naps around.

- bizly is literally the youngest but he has a BEARD.

- grizzly bullying bizly in scu is the equivalent of Charlie's influence on him

- everyone was so mean to Bizly and for what. Now look at him he flinches whenever someone shouts.

- fallen and charlie have so much beef with each other that it's ridiculous at this point. They probably make out afterwards but fuck do I know they sound stupid (don't take this part seriously)

- Jschlatt is evil because he feels like it. He doesn't have a reason like fallen, he just wants to be evil because he woke up angry on a Monday.

Also he's a demon. Not a god.

- apparently it's canon (from what my 2am brain understood that night when I watched 100!days) that parallel universes exist in scu so GUESS WHAT MESS I CAN DO WITH IT WITH MY "THE SLIMECICLES" HEADCANON?

- each server is a different place. Dsmp? Qsmp? Esmp? All different places. All different slimecicles. All aware. All from the same place.

- condi probably does drugs man

- I need to stop talking about CHARLOE BUT I CANT

- charlie definitely has favorites. Bizly isn't one of them.

- NUH HUH JSCHLATT IS HIS FUCKING RAM CUTE PERSONA IN HERE. NO SCARY DUDE. NO. HE'S A FUCKING CUTE LITTLE RAM WITH HIS LITTLE SWEATER ON AND HE ALWAYS HAS TEO CATS HE PETS WHENEVER HE TALKS BECAUSE HE HAS T W O HANDS.

- charlie interacts with mortals so much because he's so fascinated by them. He surely think of them as just a little playmate (aside form a specific little mortals.) But he's so curious and interested in them. They come up with random drama over something so stupid, OVER LAND!

It's the best thing and the stupidest thing charlie has ever seen.

He loves it.

The rest of the council hates it, really. They experienced it, unlike charlie, and they know how awful mortals actually are. They are selfish and ruthless, they are SO glad they don't have to deal with them anymore. They can just ignore them.

- charlie actually gets so happy whenever a mortals donates something in the churches and whatever they make, the rest ignore those things.

- I'LL KEEP SPREADING THE WORD! GENDERFLUID SLIMECICLE. HE ISN'T HUMAN. HE HAS NO CONCEPT OF GENDER. HE'S SLIMECICLE.

- I bet condi just stopped caring about gender, he's just condi. (Not genderfluid, but agender.)

- charlie is extrovert shy. He's all confident but when he actually meets someone knew he gets super shy and quiet.

- bizly is extrovert.

- grizzly is ambivert.

- condi is introvert.

- condi and charlie spend their time together just by being in the same room, or literally "talks nonstop x listens"

- charlie likes doodling. He makes funny doodles. They look like kids drawings but it's just him having fun.

- bizly and charlie are "talks nonstop x also talks nonstop"

- grizzly and charlie are "sunshine x sunshine"

- they were very happy bro. Like. Seriously. Banishment ruined everything bro.

- Condi probably invented medications and all that stuff with his potions

- grizzly is super pissed because he can't eat chocolate

- so fallen now eats chocolate ANGRILY and AGGRESSIVELY but gets stuck in the bathroom for an hour or two later.

- I imagine fallen being that one villain who is actually evil and has good reasons behind them, but no one ever takes him seriously.

- fallen can't bring himself to hate the council. He's just really really mad at them.

- charlie is actually very nice to Bizly whenever they are alone. Whenever no one's watching charlie is a real sweetheart to Bizly.

- condi dosen't like talking much, so he always gets Charles to be his little talking box.

- grizzly is that one guy who uses the most fanciest words just to say he took a massive shit earlier.

- grizzly and bizly are morning people, condi and charlie are NOT.

- charlie is my favorite character therefore he's cursed in being a small self insert of mine along with all the trauma in the world.

- grizzly is a very touchy guy, he enjoys hugging and dragging people around. And he likes chasing sticks.

[doomordestiny]

…what do you mean chip could potentially forget who he is….what do you mean he could lose himself altogether….what…

[ominaterthegreat]

While i get that everyone is pissed about a new trump presidency and is looking for someone to blame, non-voters numbers could be it but third party numbers do not tally to enough to have swung the election. This is the bush-gore revisionism. Honestly at this point the only forward solution is probably a new party. Idk sue me

[leafatlaw]

there’s never going to be another rand Jrwi , is there ?

[queerpyracy]

hateful to reread your old wips and be like damn i love these characters too bad there isn't more written knowing full damn well you do not have time to pick this up again

[ohwaitwhatdamn]

Give this playlist a listen: This Is Grizzly Bear

Going through a Grizzly Bear hyperfocus

[bearlyfunctioning]

Comic #344 : Lineart Frustration - Website links here

You ever get so frustrated you feel like you wanna tear your own skin off? :D Don't do it, draw it! 🐻

[lilacofficial]

i rlly hope ur post was just bait but if not imma say sum things:

1. ya kno u dont have to do blackface or anything to cosplay as a black character, you can simply dress up as her, u dont need to do anything with ur hair. white people literally cosplay as characters with dif races (esp in anime spaces) all the time and nobody bats an eye

2. the reason why lizzie's design was changed (atleast from my pov) is bcos grizzly specifically capitalized off having lizzie be "ambiguous" and acted as if that was enough representation -- which is honestly pretty shitty, white characters can be confirmed to be white in the show, but the best we had for any POC in general is "oh she has the same skintone as rhianna :3 she has braids" and then turn around and have a white woman for the design. the best i can describe it for you, for what i assume is a white queer (or at the very least a non-Black queer), is that it felt like queerbaiting but for representation of POC.

3. and honestly the "why not introduce characters that are Black from the getgo", aside from the reasons i mentioned in 2, i wanna add that it is important that atleast ONE person who is a reoccuring, is integral to the plot, and close to the main characters is POC. becus the reoccuring crew is literally entirely white aside from lizzie. i personally dont want representation where a character appears for one arc and then disappears, i want someone who is reoccuring and has a deep and meaningful exploration of their character. this late into the series i genuinely doubt grizzly would be able to squeeze in a new meaningful character to the main cast.

4. if u dont feel comfortable cosplaying lizzie, there are literally a billion other pirates to cosplay. u dont need to take what little POC representation (esp Black representation) there is in riptide and invalidate it for u to find another pirate to cosplay.

all this to say, you need to go outside more. You have internalized anti Black racism that needs to be worked on, you may not have intended ill will, but that was so racist omg

All of your assumptions are incorrect. You should really not assume someone's sexuality, race, ethincity, gender, etc on a Tumblr post or account. Also the post was 100% not bait. I am perfectly aware I do not need to blackface nor would I ever do that. The reason I said the whole thing about the dreadlocks is because although it would be acceptable for me to do so I do not have the type of hair that can be put into dreadlocks so I'm sure a wig with dreadlocks would look bad on me. I also do genuinly understand why people were adamant about the intial design change because Grizzly's intial description of her. What you seem to be misunderstanding from my post is that Lizzie (the second design at least) is a part of the little POC representation for some of us, myself included. When I was talking about new and diverse characters I was not talking about someone who whould stick around for one arc and then dissapear. I genuinly do think that a new character who is not white could be brought into the world and be meaningfull to the main cast. In fact, considering what Grizzly has said so far one new, diverse, important to the crew and story, and future reoccuring character does exist, Ensa! I was so excited when he described and showed the art of Ensa because she is some great representation and I was so excited to hear her character wants to be a pirate and to see Grizzly say this, "Eventually, I think she will join the crew more full time on the ship. She's already apart of their little family, helping take care of Ollie & his mom.". I understand that you are angry with me but I am definetly not trying to "invalidate it (representation) for u to find another pirate to cosplay.". It was not racist. If I had said something like, "Ew. The new Lizzie design is gross and ugly.", then I would understand how it would be racist but as I already said, I do like design. I would feel the same way if a character got a redesign and looked exactly like me. Representation is incredibly important and I think that changing a character that is already known isn't truly the best way to do representation.

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

[rheeblogs]

★ — PIT STOP

★ — pairing: trucker!abby x fem!gas station clerk

★ — your boring job brought old men, homeless people, and little kids maxing out their parents cards on candy. but when she came in, your stomach turned inside out. | fyi, i'm aware most trucks don't have backseats or anything 😭, but let's imagine for the plot period

★ — warnings: southern!abby, strap-on sex, car sex, dirty talk

🔖 — moodboard by me :)

The hum of fluorescent lights overhead buzzed softly as you stood behind the counter, absentmindedly flipping through a magazine. The little gas station was quiet tonight, save for the occasional car rolling in to fill up. You didn't mind the solitude, though--it gave you the chance to enjoy the peaceful hum of the night.

But that peace shattered when the low rumble of a diesel engine filled the air.

You looked up just as a massive, dusty, semi-truck rolled into the parking lot. Its headlight cut through the darkness, and it came to a halt right in front of the store. Moments later, the driver's door creaked open, and down climbed a woman who seemed like she'd stepped right out of a trucker-themed romance novel.

She was tall, built like she spent half her life wrestling grizzly bears, and had a confidence in her swagger that could stop traffic. Blonde hair peeked out from under a well-worn baseball cap, and her Southern accent was thick as molasses when she spoke.

"Evenin''," she drawled, stepping through the glass door. Her blue eyes locked onto you immediately, a slow, crooked grin spreading across her face.

"Good evenin," you said, smiling politely, though you couldn't help the way your heart skipped a beat. She was... gorgeous, in a rugged, intimidating kind of way.

"Damn," she said, stopping in her tracks as she looked you over. Her eyes roamed shamelessly, lingering a second too long on the curve of your hips and the swell of your tits before flicking back up to your face. "Didn't think I'd be gettin' a view like this at sum' gas station inna middle of nowhere."

Your cheeks flushed immediately, and you stammered. "I--I think you're lookin' for the snacks. They're over there." You pointed toward the aisle, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck.

Abby chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that made your stomach flip. "Oh, darlin', I'm not lookin' for snacks. Especially when somethin' as sweet as you is in front of me."

You blinked, your lips parting slightly in surprise. Most of the truckers who rolled through were gruff and standoffish, more interested in their coffee than conversation. But this one? She was relentless.

"I, uh..." you trailed off, not sure how to respond.

Abby stepped closer, leaning an elbow on the counter. The scent of diesel fuel and a faint hint of cologne wafted off of her. "You're a pretty lil' thing, ma'am."

"Thank you," you said, almost too softly.

"It's no problem, honey. You got the kinda face that can make a girl forget she's been drivin' for sixteen hours straight," Abby said, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "And don't even get me started on that body of yours. Lord have mercy."

You couldn't help it--you laughed, a flustered, nervous sound. "Do you always flirt with gas station clerks, or am i just special?"

"Oh, you're special, all right," she said, her grin widening. "Reckon I'd remember a face like yours anywhere."

You shook your head, biting your lip to hide your smile. "What do you want, Abby?"

Her eyebrows rose in mock surprise. "What makes you think my name's Abby?"

"Your truck's got "Anderson's Logistics'' painted on the side, nd' your nametag has an 'Abby' patch in bold letters." You said, gesturing to the embroidery.

"Sharp, too. I like that," Abby said, straightening up. "But if you must know, I came in for a coffee. Black. And maybe your number, if you're feeling generous.

Your face grew hotter at her boldness. "Coffee's over there," you said, pointing to the back.

Abby chuckled again but did you said, sauntering over to the coffee machine with the same easy confidence. She poured herself a cup, took a long sip, and then returned to the counter.

"Not bad," she said, placing a couple crumpled bills on the counter. "But I think this place just became my new favorite spot. Couldn't imagine why."

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. "Whatever, Abby."

"You wanna take a ride?" Abby asks you abruptly, gesturing to the door.

"In your truck?" You asked, a sly smile creeping on your face.

"Sure, that too."

----

"God, honey. Your body fits my lap perfectly, huh?" Abby teases, as you adjust yourself on her muscular thighs, the friction from your jean shorts making you eager.

"You do this every pit stop?" You ask, your hands placed on her shoulders to hold your balance.

"No ma'am. I told you, you're special, darlin'." She tells you, looking you deep into your eyes, hers a piercing blue. "But enough talkin'. I got sumthin' in my back seat, if you're down for that kinda thing."

And with that, you climb out of her lap and into the backseat, your cheetah print thong peeking out, following a smack to your ass from Abby.

She damn near tears your tanktop off, leaving your chest clad in your matching cheetah print bra, and the shoulder tattoo with words 'Angel' black and bold, close to your collarbone.

"Angel, huh?" Abby says, biting her lip.

You nod, tilting your head, giving her access to you neck. She starts to kiss it slowly, taking in your scent of woody vanilla, getting sweeter everytime she works her way up or down.

"You smell s'good, honey." Abby says, easily lifting you back onto her lap. Her hands fly to the back of your bra, unclasping it with ease.

"Fuck, Abby. You're s'strong." Her hands are on your hips, forcing you to grind on her lap, making your pussy wetter by the second.

"Lay back, honey."

----

Abby's kisses are tender, yet demanding. She kisses with so much passion, like you were the only girl she needed in her life. Who knew a pit stop would make her this crazy?

You're laying in her backseat, leg propped up over her shoulder, as she grips your thighs and sloppily eats you out.

"Pussy's sweeter than honey, darlin'." She says, her voice sending chills into your clit, the vibrations stimulating you more than she was alone.

"Mmm..--just like that, Abby, fuck." Your manicured hands scratch her scalp, the semi-neat braid coming undone in the process. Abby makes eye contact with you, gripping your thighs tighter.

It's almost as if Abby learns your body quickly, the way her tongue thrusts in and out of your pussy, leaving your legs quivering after every movement.

She stops, leaving you confused.

"Under the seat, that box. Grab it." You look around for a second, spotting a black box covered by a jean jacket under her seat. You move the jacket and open the box--revealing a seven-inch clear strap.

"It's new, I promise. Haven't gotten a chance to use it yet."

You look at the strap and back at Abby, who has a very convincing look on her face.

"Then, fuck me with it, Abby."

----

Abby secured the harness around her waist, trying to make sure not to hit her head on the roof of the truck in the process. It was veiny, girthy, and looked like it could absolutely ruin you.

She grabs your hips, letting you hover over her lap, watching you let your panties that originally were pooling at your ankles, fall to the truck's surprisingly clean floor.

"You wanna' ride this shit, honey?" She says, still holding your hips steady.

You nod your head up and down, and slowly sink onto her strap.

"Yeaaaah... sink on it, darlin'. Just like that." Her praises were making your head spin, and the way her strap felt so deep inside of you almost felt like it was attached to her.

Abby jerks up, letting the rest of her inches sink of inside you.

You grind against her, the pleasure almost bringing you to tears. Your rhythm steadies, the rocking of your hips sending Abby into orbit. The base of the strap is hitting her clit, causing her hands to grow tighter around your ass.

"Fuckin' me like you mean it, huh baby?" Her voice. Her accent. Her everything. You were so close, beginning to go from grinding to practically jumping on her dick, feeling your stomach start to heat up.

"Mmmph.., I'm--fuck, Abby.. close." That's all Abby needed to hear. She takes a firm grip on your hips, and roughly fucks her strap inside of you.

"Yeah, angel. Take this fuckin'.. dick," Abby starts, throwing her head back as the base of the strap hits her pussy just right.

"I'm--Abby.." You manage to moan out.

"All over me, honey. Fuckin' cum on my shit." She pounds into you, the both of you gushing, all over her lap.

"You truly are an angel, miss." Abby says, holding you close as you catch your breath.

You put your clothes back on, checking your phone's time. Twenty minutes. Not too bad.

"I really gotta get back on the clock." You say, giving Abby your phone to insert her number in.

"I understand, darlin', so do I. I had a great time." She smiles, fixing her tight white tee to put her jacket back on.

"I did too, Anderson." Abby leans in to kiss you, almost as if she could get used to doing this more often. You climb out of her truck and make way back into the gas station.

"Drive safe, Abby."

"Oh, don't you worry about bout' me, honey," she said, tipping her hat slightly as she started the engine. "I'll be back here soon enough. Just don't go breakin' hearts in the meantime, alright?"

"I'll call you after my shift, Anderson."

"Perfect."

And as the roar of her truck faded into the distance, you realized you were already looking forward to her next pit stop.

🏷️ — @rosemariiaa, @d3arapril

[supreme-leader-stoat]

In front of you are five doors, each concealing one of the following: a random man, a hungry grizzly bear, a walrus, a fairy, and a car. Each door has something different behind it. The game show host, who knows what is behind each of the doors, has you select one of the doors at random and does not reveal what is behind it. Whatever is behind the door will pass into your ownership without taxes. After you make your decision he opens one of the doors of his choice which is not the door you picked and which he knows conceals neither the fairy nor the car. You have now eliminated either the man, the walrus, or the hungry grizzly bear from the pool of unknowns.

The game show host then offers you a chance to either keep your current door, or switch to another one of your choice, with a catch. A train full of your loved ones is currently hurtling down a track at high speeds towards another one of your loved ones, who is tied up on the tracks. If you change your choice of door, the train will be redirected away from your loved one and to another track with a man you do not know, a hungry grizzly bear, a walrus, a fairy, and two clones (complete with memories) tied up on it. One of the two clones is yours. The train is sturdy enough that neither option will cause it to derail.

At the same time, another person is playing an identical game, and if you both change which door you have picked, your trains will divert onto the same track in a head-on collision, killing many of both of your loved ones as well as everyone tied up on that track. As part of the game show, the studio is prepared to pay out money to you equal to the life insurance policies of any of your loved ones that die as part of the show.

Before you make your decision, the game show host hands you a gun. You must shoot one other person in the problem.

[avephelis]

SERIOUSLY. the two most equally devastating events in charlie slimecicle's mind your evil clone killing your bestie and gay smut. or alternatively the two most equally homoerotic things but you didn't hear that from m

thinking about gillion icing that door to lock chip in so he could torture him by reading graphic old man yaoi aloud. why did bro do that. i support him.

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Nik being strong enough to pick Price up when he's in a bad mood and just put him on the bench of his workshop.

Price is in air jail and now at the perfect height for when Nik tugs the zipper of his flight suit down to reveal that fluffy chest, those burly arms, that glorious belly and happy trail that leads to the weapon between his legs.

Honestly I don't think John could work those cargo pants off fast enough, maybe Nik forgoes that entirely and cuts a neat hole right in the crotch and rips to get at his prize.

Price is walking (Maybe a little bow-legged) out of there a hell of a lot happier than when he walked in.

The lads chip in for a nice takeaway for Nik for helping them out (Dealing with Price's shitty mood)

Nik uses his dick as a captain tamer.

cw: anal sex, mild brat taming, a little rough.

John’s temper was nothing new. Nik had experienced it in its various permutations through the years. It was like a hurricane; loud, destructive, and indiscriminate in the damage it caused, taking out friends and foes alike. But it eventually ran out of wind; surviving it was simply a case of moving out of its way until the inevitable conclusion. And, just like a storm, it wasn’t personal, but a natural byproduct of all the pressures and stresses weighing on John’s shoulders. He was only human.

Sometimes, however, the bad mood would fail to wear itself out and John would become more cantankerous as time wore on and his frustration built. If he was particularly tired, stressed, his body wound tight, feeding his brain a continuous flow of cortisol and catecholamines, then his grizzly mood was liable to last for days. A dark cloud hanging over the base and Task Force, suffocating.

It was day three this time and Nik’s patience had worn out. It was time to give the feral bastard what he needed. The lieutenant called it ‘a good seeing to’ and the sergeants, while not quite brave enough to say it to John’s face, said he was always a bit more human after he’d been stuffed with cock. Nik had worked out it was the act of having control stripped out of his hands, his mind emptied of all but pleasure, and his body flooded with endorphins from an orgasm. It stopped the spiral in its tracks. Even if it was only a reprieve to simply clear his head, it was often enough to give him the breathing room he needed to resolve the problem. He would deny it, of course, but John surrendered every time.

Nik finished the maintenance he’d been performing on the Black Hawk’s main rotary engine and washed his hands clean in the workshop sink, careful to remove the grease and grime from his cuticles. It was late. Most of the base had either retired to the barracks, gone home to their local residences, or headed out to the pub, but John was still here, huffing and growling over the laptop on the nearby workbench. “I can’t fuckin��� believe they’re takin’ Simon for another trainin’ seminar, puts him out for three fuckin’ days—“

Nik had invited him in to discuss some intel, citing his need to continue maintenance to stay on schedule as the reason for the location and, ever diligent, John had arrived on time with his laptop in tow, unknowingly sliding right into Nik's trap. Nik turned off the taps and returned briefly to his heli to dip into his duffle bag for the lube before he approached John at the bench. He slid his hands around John’s waist just as he closed his mouth over the soft skin beneath the hinge of his jaw, sucking a mark into soft skin.

“Ah, fuck, Nik—“ John went rigid in Nik’s hands, almost knocking the laptop off the workbench as he span to face him. “You randy bloody bastard, ‘ve got work t’ finish."

Those fierce blue eyes, the stern set of John's face, they would have struck quivering fear into the heart of many a man. But all Nik saw was the stress, the tension, the bone deep exhaustion, all locked up tight behind a safety valve that needed a practiced hand to release it. “Nyet, you are done for the evening.”

“Oh fuckin’ reall—“

He didn’t finish. Nik leaned forward and swept the laptop to the side, before grabbing John’s narrow hips and lifting effortlessly him onto the bench. He shoved his way between John’s knees, not letting him clam up, the expanse of one big hand staying at the base of John’s back to keep him from wriggling away.

John wrestled with him, fists bunching in his flight suit and shoving against his chest, their first kiss more teeth than tongue or lips. But as the heat of Nik's body enveloped him, their crotches pulled flush, chests together, John stopped thrashing in Nik's arms. Nik took it as the first defeat, drawing back to nuzzle John's beard.

"Lemme up, ya muppet."

"Nyet " Nik straightened a little, creating a gap between them even if he remained between John's legs.

"Nik," John growled his warning, but it was a hollow threat.

“You will do as you are told, captain. Good boys get rewards.”

Nik knew the low rumble of his voice, the manhandling, it stirred something primal and receptive in the back of John’s mind. He watched those bright baby blues widen before they dropped to Nik’s hand, following it like a hawk tracking a mouse as Nik grasped the zipper of his flight suit and tugged it down, deliberate in the glacial pace of its progress.

John’s mouth dropped open as curls of black chest hair emerged between parting metal teeth, Nik’s dusky nipples peaking in the cool air, and John’s greedy hands slid across the heat of newly revealed skin, following the firm contours of his tits. Nik leaned forward to kiss John’s neck again, encouraging his touch, and this time his captain relaxed, his legs spreading a little further apart as his hips tilted. He was begging to be fucked. Nik would take John here as planned, and then he would take him to his bed to exhaust him into complete surrender.

Nik tugged his flight suit open to its fullest extent, his cock arching up in readiness where he hadn't bothered with underwear knowing his intentions with John that evening. He popped a few of John's shirt buttons to kiss the furry perk of his pecs, smiling against John's skin as he squirmed, opening his belt and fly with practiced ease. "Oh, fuck, Nik, no, not here..."

"Da, here," Nik replied, listening to John's tone, his body, rather than his words; the way he gasped so desperately and arched into Nik's heat screamed please, please, please. He didn't resist when Nik slid his arms beneath his thighs and grasped his waistband, lifting his arse for a moment to yank his Carhartts and boxers down his thighs.

John hissed as his flushed skin settled back on the cold surface of the workbench, eager for the return of Nik's palms around the upper curve of his cheeks and the dip of his tailbone. John had an exquisite arse; firm, muscular and round. Perfect for bouncing on a cock. Nik kneaded the top of it as he nipped along the edge of John's jaw to his ear lobe, relishing the powerful body writhing enthusiastically in his arms. Who was Nik trying to kid? John was perfect in every way, even with his penchant for sulking.

Nik earned his first needy moan when he let the tip of his cock kiss the tight furl of John's hole, the slightest pressure rubbing his wet slit against the fluttering muscle in an insistent tease. He nuzzled John's beard as he fished the lube out of his pocket and flicked the lid off with his thumb. John's hands pushed beneath the fabric of his flight suit to grip his shoulders, one looping behind Nik's neck to play in the curls at the nape of his neck. John flinched when Nik squeezed the lube onto his balls, the tube clattering on the workbench when it was cast aside. "Bastard..."

Nik smirked, smoothing warm fingers gently down the seam of John's sac to his taint, circling, teasing his rim with little tugs at the opening. When the first finger dipped inside, Nik swallowed John's groan with a kiss, tongue licking into his mouth when it fell open in a shock of pleasure. John didn't need much coaxing, his body opening eagerly around one and then two probing fingers. Nik crooked them up, John's cock flicking as Nik's fingertips rubbed over his prostate. John panted, his head falling back, the filthy noise of Nik's fingers squelching into his hole accented by his soft whimpers. Blunt fingernails dug into Nik's skin as John clung to him, his leaking cock fully hard against the unblemished milky softness of his inner thigh.

"Ah, ah, Nik... Mm, fuck... Ah..."

"Da, solnyshko. Just a little more and I will give you what you need."

Nik could make John come like this, but his balls ached and there was only one place he wanted to empty them; to watch John unspool on his cock was a privilege he deserved. He pulled his fingers out slowly, his thumb tugging down at John's slick, puffy hole as he smeared lube and precum over his crown and down his shaft, tongue between his teeth as he groaned at the sweet anticipation of what awaited. He was so hard, cock throbbing in his grip, balls already tight, and he took a moment to steady himself before sliding his arms beneath John's thighs again, John's booted feet dangling either side of his back, his trousers bunch just shy of his knees.

His fingers pressed into the flesh of John's hips to keep him still as he ground the tip of his cock over the slick skin of John's taint, lower lip between his teeth as John shivered in his grasp, hips tilting again, urging, begging with his body. Nik's tip notched against his hole and Nik held him firm as he thrust inside, John's body gaping wide around the flare of his crown and thick shaft. John quaked in his arms, thighs trembling, his soft, tortured noises nursing a primal delight deep inside Nik's chest.

Nik kept going, sinking into John's body, inch by aching inch, even as it bore down around him in desperation.

"Fuck, Nik, Nik!"

"Da, my love. Surrender to me as you yearn to..."

It wasn't simply the act of sex. Penetration itself was not surrender and John had ridden Nik's cock from above many times, in complete control as Nik ceded, leaning back into the pillows with his eyes closed. But this act, of letting the tension and frustration melt from his body, of giving in to the pleasure of sex with a man who knew how to pluck every string, of finally letting his mind empty and his muscles relax. That was surrender.

Nik pressed deeper, achingly slow, clutching heat struggling with the girth and length. Every time John's channel fluttered, pulsing between relaxing and gripping, Nik seized more ground. John's eyes rolled back as Nik nestled in his guts and finally bottomed out with a satisfied groan, John's stretched hole pressed against the dark curls of his pubic hair. Nik kissed trembling, spit slick lips, rocking gently, staying deep as he hollowed out his place in John's body. "Mm, detka. You are so tight. Relax, breathe..."

"Nik, ah, fuck, Nik. I'so much, hng."

"Ssh, I know, but you are... mm, taking me so well. All you have to do is let go."

Nik didn't give him any choice. He drew out until John's body sucked on his tip, clenching around it in greedy throbs, before he thrust his full length back in. John bit out a soft, startled cry, back arching as his nails bit into Nik's shoulders. Nik leaned into his lover's neck, the downy curls of his chest hair pressing to the warm swells of his firm chest as he clutched his hips tight to pull them into his cock. The next thrust was just as firm, just as demanding, shaking the table on which John sat.

Nik picked up a bruising pace, forcing John's body into submission with each deep thrust, wet skin slapping wetly as the table rattled under the force of Nik's hips pounding against John's arse. John clung to him, unable to find purchase anywhere but Nik's shoulders as he was fucked hard, Nik's palms providing a softer cushion for him to be pressed into, keeping him from being shoved away so that he was made to take every thrust to the hilt at an angle that sent relentless curls of pleasure arcing up the length of his body.

John shook apart so beautifully, his first orgasm was dry, triggered purely by the insistent, relentless drag of Nik's cock over his prostate. Nik felt the first tremors of it and leaned in to coach him through with whispered encouragement, "da, John, such a good boy, let it happen..."

John's body milked him in tight pulses and Nik watched in awe as John's pleasure unspooled through him, his limbs shaking, broad chest heaving in rattling breaths through loud, high-pitched whines, completely overwhelmed at the full body experience of coming on Nik's cock. It was like a molten heat that burned away the last of the tension and left him pliant and open in Nik's arms.

John's hole relaxed, sloppy with lube and wells of precum, the perfect sheath for Nik's cock, still sucking hungrily on Nik's length every time he withdrew before slamming back inside. Nik chased his high, growling into John's neck, nipping at his hammering pulse to taste the sweat on his skin. His climax crept up his spine, a vine of tension pulling him tight, and he nipped John's ear. "Touch yourself, detka."

John grabbed his cock obediently, pumping down its slick length in furious jerks that matched Nik's pace, his moans reaching a crescendo as he was trapped between two pleasure centres. Nik felt John tighten again, another orgasm, and it teased him over into his own. His hips jerked, stuttering against John's arse, as his cock pulsed its first load deep in John's body. John followed him over the brink, the flood of heat inside him making his eyes roll back as his cock painted his hand and shirt in thick ropes of cum as he was filled with it.

Nik's vision greyed, the force of his own pleasure leaving him breathless as his cock twitched in John's channel. He hadn't realised how pent up he'd been, his balls offering a seemingly endless breeding. He panted hot breaths against John's skin, the tip of his nose resting in the bristles of his beard, lips placing soft, fleeting kisses as his body finally finished. When he finally gathered enough coordination to draw out, the filthy noise of his cock withdrawing made him growl with pleasure, his seed welling at John's hole to drip down the curve of his arse to the floor.

When he lowered John's feet, his legs shook, and he lifted him off the table by the hips. "Go to your room. When I get there, I expect to find you naked in bed," Nik said.

John might have argued if he hadn't been completely spaced, his eyes soft in post-orgasmic bliss. Nik helped him right his belt and trousers and then watched him hobble out of the workshop. Once his captain had disappeared from sight, Nik turned his attention to tidying his tools, a little jelly-legged as he strolled about his workshop.

Nik would find John showered and snoozing, naked and warm beneath his blankets, about an hour later. He washed himself, removing the grime and sweat of the workshop, and slipped in beside him to rub his back and shoulders. John roused slowly, content to let Nik ease his aches, legs spreading when those strong fingers slid between them for a second round, his hole buttery soft, eager for Nik's touch. He was impossible to resist.