#9 times out of 10 these things are not done out of malice

[leona-hawthorne]

hi, you don’t have to respond at all (there would be no point because i won’t be using tumblr anymore after today, and i wouldn’t be able to see it anyways, but i also understand if you don’t read this and immediately delete it. either way, i won’t know.)

i just wanted to let you know that it really hurt my feelings when i found out you blocked me on my second blog even though i followed your rules and told you i am in my mid twenties. i wasn’t even following you on my second blog, nor have i ever liked or interacted with your posts on my second one. so to receive another block on my second blog where i hadn’t broken any rules left me completely shocked, hurt and confused, and made me feel completely awful as a fan.

i’m already very anxious and depressed and don’t interact with people very much, so it took a lot to gather the courage and message one of my favorite writers to apologize for any wrongdoing on my part because i hadn’t realized my mistake at the time. i was incredibly nervous and scared and immensely grateful that you cared enough to respond. 

and then for me to be completely understanding, kind, take accountability, follow your rules, accept the consequences of my wrongdoing on my main blog, and wish you a good day and you wish me a good day in return, only for you to go out of your way to block me on my second blog after a really nice conversation, felt like our conversation was fake and it made me feel really shitty and more stupid than i already feel. 

you are absolutely 1000% completely entitled to your choice, and i learned my lesson because it was my fault for not realizing i should be putting my age in my blog description, because im new to tumblr & again, im dumb. 

but i just wanted to let you know that sometimes certain actions can come across as a bit mean, and the way i was treated felt like you were purposely icing me out from being a fan of your blog. 

you’re really a wonderful writer and i enjoyed the stories that i was able to read on your blog in the little time that i spent on here. i wish you the best and happy holidays. 

hi anon,

thank you for taking the time to share your feelings with me. i want to start by saying that i’m genuinely sorry if my actions made you feel hurt or unwelcome. i understand that this situation has been upsetting for you, and i never intended to make you feel that way.

i want to clarify a couple of things. when i initially blocked your second blog, it was not done out of malice, but because i felt it was consistent with the boundaries i’ve set for my own comfort on this platform. my decision there was based on the fact that i wasn’t confident in your age initially, and i felt it was better to err on the side of caution. it wasn’t personal, nor was it intended to make you feel unwelcome or excluded.

after reflecting and discussing the situation, i actually unblocked both of your blogs not even an hour later because i wanted to reach out, apologize for any misunderstanding, and perhaps get to know you better. however, by that point, you had already blocked me back, so i was unable to contact you privately.

i get that this situation hurt you, and it’s okay to feel sad about being blocked—it happens to everyone at some point online. but the way you expressed those feelings came across as a bit much. it’s not fair to expect me to carry the weight of how this affected you, especially when i’ve tried my best to act respectfully and protect my own boundaries.

if you do see this, please know that i would have preferred to handle this privately, but since i can’t contact you any other way, i have no choice but to respond here. if you see this and still wish to continue the conversation, please reach out to me privately and maturely rather than through my inbox.

i understand that you’re new to tumblr and that this has been a learning experience, and i appreciate your willingness to take accountability for the initial misunderstanding. however, it’s also important to recognize that sending such a lengthy message in my inbox—particularly when it seems designed to invoke guilt—is a lot to process emotionally on my end as well. it's overwhelming. i’m a person too, and like you, i try my best to navigate these interactions with kindness and fairness. i can’t always predict how my actions might affect someone emotionally, but i do my best to act in a way that feels right for me.

i’m not perfect, and i don’t always handle every situation right, but this is just tumblr. i’m just one random writer on the internet, and being blocked or unblocked by me shouldn’t have this much power over your happiness or self-worth.

with that said, if you truly are leaving tumblr, i wish you nothing but the best moving forward. i hope you find peace and happiness wherever you choose to spend your time next. happy holidays, and take care.

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

The second gif gets me everytime LMFAOOO

Chapter 19: The Icy Clash 

A/N: We finally get the Monet VS. Y/N fight!!! And also some funny Sanji moments too. Some Law POV, as well. Some surprise guests too! Tomorrows chapter we will be getting out lovesick cooks sanji POV.. and more, maybe a few more surprise guests (hehehe) ! Thank you guys for joining!, thank you guys for following, liking, reblogging, commenting!. I cant wait for you guys to see whats instore for the next chapters! And without further a do, lets get to it! Also, Tomorrow I will also be going back to chapter 18 and 19 and adding the links to the previous chapters.

Word Count: 4.8K 

Sanji X Reader, One Piece X Reader, Sanji x Y/N

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19 (Here)

Laws POV… 

Finally making my way to the room I needed to be in, I was laser-focused on my mission. Destroying the manufacturing tanks for the SAD was my top priority. Once that was done, I’d head back to R-66 and regroup with Straw Hat—and Y/N. Thoughts of her needing my assistance filled my mind. Her extensive injuries and wounds meant she'd be in recovery mode, which meant she'd need me by her side.

"Y/N, the things you do to me," I whispered under my breath as I unsheathed my blade, preparing for the task ahead.

But before I could make my move, a voice behind me made it clear who I’d be facing.

"I can't help but feel like I've been bit by my very own dog, Law," Vergo’s voice dripped with malice, causing me to turn back and face him.

"I'm afraid you've crossed the line, kid. You're just too damn smart for your own good," he sneered, his armament Haki flaring up as he readied his bamboo stick. "You know what's sad about folks like you? They tend to die at a young age. I can't wait to wipe that smart-ass look off your face."

His eyes narrowed as a twisted smile crept across his lips. "And maybe then I can get back to that princess of yours you seem so fond of. Maybe I can even hand her over to Joker. I'm sure he'd love to have his fun with her."

I felt a surge of anger course through me, my grip tightening on my blade. "You won’t lay a finger on her, Vergo," I growled, my voice low and deadly.

In a flash, Vergo appeared in front of me, faster than I could react. His bamboo stick slammed into my chin with brutal force, knocking me off balance as blood spilled from my mouth. Before I could regain my footing, he appeared again, this time driving his weapon into my chest, slamming me into the ground with such force that it created a dent in the metal floor.

"Stand up, Law," Vergo taunted, towering over me with that same cold, menacing grin. "You can’t die this early. I want you to feel every bit of this."

Gritting my teeth, I struggled to push myself up, my body protesting in pain. "You think… this is enough to stop me?" I spat, wiping the blood from my mouth as I forced myself to stand, my legs shaky but resolute.

Vergo’s expression didn’t change, his eyes narrowing as he watched me. "You’ve always been stubborn. But that’s going to be your downfall."

I steadied myself, gripping my sword tightly. "The only one falling today… is you," I said, my voice filled with determination. "I’ve come too far to let you stop me now. And I’ll be damned if I let you get anywhere near her."

Vergo chuckled darkly, his bamboo stick coated in Haki as he readied his next move. "Big words for a man on the brink of death. Let’s see if you can back them up."

Y/N POV..

"What is that?" I asked, looking up ahead at the top of the stairs.

"It's the children!" Robin exclaimed, her voice filled with concern.

"Oh no, Chopper is in his Monster Point!" Nami gasped, her eyes widening in alarm.

"The kids must be going through withdrawals," I said, my heart sinking at the sight. Chopper’s Rumble Ball effect had worn off, and the children were frantically running towards the biscuit room, desperate to eat more candy. Chopper, tears welling in his eyes, begged them to stop, but they didn’t listen.

Just then, Nami grabbed Chopper, pulling him back as we all began to run toward the children. "Nami, thank you!" Chopper said, his voice filled with relief.

"Looks like we got here just in time! Yohooo!" Brook chimed in, his usual cheerfulness masking the severity of the situation.

But I suddenly stopped in my tracks, my body still too weak to keep up. The toll of my injuries was catching up to me, and I couldn’t push myself any further. "Y/N, come on!" Zoro called out, his voice urging me to keep moving.

I glanced at Chopper, struggling to catch my breath as I tried to steady myself. "Chopper," I began, my voice strained, "remember that medicine I handed you along with the ointment that can heal wounds fast?"

"Yeah, Y/N, I brought a few just in case," Chopper replied, still wounded from trying to keep the kids in place. He was breathing heavily, but he quickly reached into his bag, understanding the gravity of the situation.

I limped toward Chopper, determination in my eyes. "Good, I’m going to need that now!" I declared, knowing this was the only way I could help without being a burden.

Chopper stared at me, his eyes full of concern but also understanding. He knew this was a risk, but it was necessary. "Right!" he said, pulling out a small white medicine pill.

"Here goes nothing," I muttered, swallowing the pill whole. The taste was bitter, but I ignored it, focusing on the task at hand.

After a few minutes, I began to feel the effects of the medicine. My body, once sluggish and weak, now felt energized. The pain in my right leg subsided, and I could finally put weight on it again. "Yes!" I exclaimed, testing my strength as a smile spread across my face. "Thank you, Chopper!" I said, grateful for his quick thinking and the medicine that had given me a second wind.

"You gotta stop the kids before they consume more of it, guys!" Chopper cried, his voice trembling. "The biscuit room is down the hall to the left. There's a girl named Mocha who's been helping me—she's the only child with her right mind!"

"Don’t worry, Chopper, we can take care of it from here. You did good," I reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Tears welled up in Chopper’s eyes once more, the weight of the situation heavy on his small frame.

We finally reached the biscuit room, and just as Chopper had said, the children were rushing toward Mocha, desperate for more candy. Robin quickly sprang into action. "Mil Fleur, Gigantesco Mano!" she commanded, her giant hands emerging from the floor, wrapping around the children, and halting them in their tracks.

"Good, this will buy us some time!" I said, feeling a brief moment of relief.

"Nami, Usopp, Chopper, go help Mocha and the kids!" I instructed, urgency lacing my voice.

"Right!" they responded in unison, rushing toward Mocha, who was trying her best to keep the candy away from the other children.

Robin’s face twisted in concentration as she struggled to hold the kids back. "I’m afraid I can’t hold them off much longer," she warned, gritting her teeth. One of the children bit down on her hand, causing her to wince in pain.

"You can’t have any candy!" Mocha shouted, desperately trying to keep the candy away from the other children as they clawed at her. In a panic, she turned and bolted, clutching the candy tightly to her chest.

Just then, a gust of cold wind swept through the room, carrying with it a flurry of snowflakes. "What is it now?" I groaned in frustration as the exit became blocked by a wall of snow.

"You don’t have to worry about a thing, Mocha dear," a chillingly familiar voice echoed through the room. My eyes widened in shock and anger. "It’s her!" I hissed, gripping my sword tightly. "The nerve of this bitch!" I added through gritted teeth.

"Ahhh, it’s her! It’s the crazy bird woman I told you about!" Usopp yelled, eyes wide with fear.

"Crazy is a nice way of putting it," I muttered darkly. "This woman is downright evil!"

"Monet, help me, please!" Mocha pleaded, her voice trembling.

Monet’s icy gaze fell on Mocha. "Mocha, you shouldn’t hog all the candy. Be a nice girl and share it with everyone," she cooed, a sinister smile on her lips as she sent another gust of snow our way.

"It seems this woman uses sorcery!" Kin’emon exclaimed, readying his sword.

"Oh, it’s more than sorcery, that’s for sure!" I snapped back, my eyes narrowing as I locked onto Monet.

"You know this woman?" Zoro asked, glancing at me with curiosity.

"Let’s just say she and I go way back," I replied coldly, my grip tightening on my sword.

Monet! But why?" Mocha cried out, her voice tinged with desperation and confusion.

Monet giggled, a chilling sound that seemed to freeze the very air around us.

Laws POV… 

"AHHH!" I yelled in agony, the pain nearly overwhelming me. "Damn it! Room! Have my heart come back to me!"

Just as I managed to summon my powers and pull my heart back, Vergo landed a crushing kick that sent me crashing into the nearby rails. I fell to the ground, the pain becoming almost unbearable. My vision started to blur, and I could barely make out Vergo’s menacing figure as he once again clutched my heart.

With his armament haki activated, Vergo landed a devastating punch to my face, sending my hat flying off and leaving me vulnerable.

"Here’s a counter shock!" I sneered, unleashing a brutal attack that made him gasp in pain. 

"I have a message from Joker," Vergo said, his voice cold and indifferent.

My counterattack hadn’t worked, and the realization dawned on me that Vergo was indeed a loyal lackey of Joker. "Well, Vergo," I said through gritted teeth, a smirk appearing on my face despite the pain. "That’s Mr. Vergo to you."

As Vergo continued to clutch my heart, I screamed in agony, my strength waning as I barely managed to stay conscious. Just then, as if by some miracle, the scene shifted, and Vergo came face to face with Vice Admiral Smoker.

Smoker’s imposing figure filled the doorway, and his presence was a welcome sight. "Smoker…" I muttered weakly, a flicker of hope igniting within me despite the intense pain. 

Y/N POV.. 

"Mocha, there’s no way you can eat all that candy alone," Monet said, her voice dripping with false sweetness. "You might as well share it with the others."

"No! I can't do that, it's bad!" Mocha protested, clutching the candy tightly.

"My, you're a difficult one," Monet replied with a smirk. "Stop being greedy and share."

"Hey, lady, what are you doing to these kids?" Nami demanded, stepping forward with a fierce glare.

"Yeah, you don’t know who you’re messing with!" Usopp added, his tone defiant.

"Actually, I do," Monet said with a hint of malice. "I do my research, so I know exactly who you are. You’re the infamous Straw Hat Pirate Crew."

"We don’t have much time," Robin said, turning to us with urgency. "Luffy asked me to find Sea Prism Stone handcuffs. Usopp and Brook, go search for them."

Usopp and Brook nodded, quickly heading off to find the handcuffs. Kinemon also left to search for his son, leaving Robin, Zoro, Nami, Chopper, and me to deal with Monet.

I steeled myself, trying to push through the pain and fatigue. "Not yet, Y/N," I thought. "I’ve got to hold it off a little while longer."

Mocha, taking advantage of the chaos, ran away with the children following her. Nami and Chopper dashed after them, their urgency clear. "Perhaps I can slow them down!" Robin said, preparing to act.

But before Robin could make a move, Monet struck with deadly precision, stabbing Robin in the back. "Robin!" Nami cried out in horror as Robin staggered, the wound clearly painful.

Seeing Robin injured spurred me into action. "It’s time," I said to myself, determination filling me. I clenched my left hand, activating its power. I grabbed my sword, pressing the blue gem to summon the ice once more. The blade shimmered with a cold, icy aura.

With a surge of adrenaline, I lifted my left leg and dashed toward Nami and Robin. "I told you... DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM!" I roared, my voice echoing with fury. I slammed my sword down, intercepting Monet’s attack with a loud clash.

The force of the impact sent shockwaves through the air, and Monet’s eyes widened in surprise.

. She was flung backward, her blades slicing through the air as she regained her balance.

“Nami, Robin, Chopper, are you guys okay?” I called out, not taking my glare away from Monet. I could see Nami trying to support Robin while Chopper tended to her wounds.

“We’re fine, but the kids—” Nami began, but Zoro cut her off.

“You three do something to stop those kids!” Zoro said, drawing his swords and preparing for action.

“Zoro, stay out of this fight!” I ordered, my voice firm and filled with authority. “This birdbrain’s mine.” I smirked, focusing my full attention on Monet.

“I’m not leaving you,” Zoro said, determination etched in his expression.

“Just make sure Nami, Robin, and Chopper make it out of this room!” I insisted. “Then come back and help.”

Monet, having regained her composure, sneered at me. “Ahh, we meet again, harlot!” she spat, venom dripping from her words.

“Monet, long time no see. Has it really been 30 minutes since you tied me to those chains?” I retorted, my voice dripping with cold satisfaction.

“I’ve been waiting to get you back for mocking me, princess,” Monet growled, her rage palpable. “The brokers will be thrilled to see this fight,” she added with a smirk.

“By the way, how’s your right leg? Vergo did a number on you. That’ll be an easy target for me to strike,” Monet taunted.

“Good,” I said, clenching my left hand. “I can’t wait for them to watch me kick your ass!” I lifted my right leg and clenched my left hand, focusing my energy.

With a burst of speed, I dashed through the air, twisting and spinning with precision. My right leg arced gracefully, the motion fluid and powerful as I executed my move. “Tremor Kick!” I shouted as my heel connected with Monet’s head, sending her crashing down to the ground with a resounding impact. The force created a series of cracks and holes in the ground where she landed.

I glanced to my right and spotted a camera, clearly positioned for the brokers to watch the fight. “Must be where the brokers are looking at,” I thought with a smirk.

“And as for you lovely brokers who are watching,” I called out with a confident grin, “get ready for the ride of your lives.”

I twirled my sword, and the air around me shimmered as the ice shards crystallized into razor-sharp, blade-like formations. The shards whirled around me, their edges gleaming with a deadly light. With a swift, fluid motion, I directed the shards toward Monet.

The shards sliced through the air with precision, their icy blades cutting through anything in their path. Monet, still reeling from my previous attack, barely had time to react as the shards closed in. The air crackled with the sound of ice meeting flesh, and Monet’s eyes widened in shock and pain. 

As she staggered back, I could hear Mocha’s desperate screams as she fled through another door, pursued by the others.

“We can’t let the kids get away!” Chopper shouted, his concern for the children evident in his voice. Robin, Chopper, Nami, and Zoro swiftly headed towards the children, leaving me to deal with Monet.

Monet’s voice cut through the chaos, dripping with malice. “My, that was quite the attack, harlot. But it’s still not enough to stop me.” Her determination was palpable as she started moving towards the escaping group.

“Oh no you don’t!” I shouted, dashing to intercept her. Nami’s eyes widened in alarm. “Y/N! Don’t hit me!” she cried out, but I had no intention of harming her. Instead, I aimed my strike at Monet, who had positioned herself behind Nami.

Our blades clashed with a sharp ring, the impact reverberating through the room. Monet gritted her teeth, her face a mask of rage and frustration.

“Guys, get out now!” I yelled to Nami, Robin, and Chopper as they hurriedly left. Zoro gave me one last, concerned look before turning back to ensure their safe retreat.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay, Y/N?” Zoro called out, determination in his voice. “Protect them and the children!” I shouted back, my voice laced with urgency. With a nod, Zoro sprinted off, leaving me to confront Monet. 

Monet’s eyes narrowed as she licked her lips, her expression a mix of disdain and amusement. “Such a shame,” she said, her voice dripping with condescension. “This fight is between you and me, not them.”

I met her gaze with a smirk. “Yes, it is, but picking at the weak ones is a winner’s strategy.”

Monet’s smile faltered slightly as I chuckled. “You honestly think they’re weak? Hmpph, Law was right about one thing: you really are full of it,” I said, letting out a laugh that I hoped would get under her skin.

Her face darkened, anger flickering in her eyes. “Harlot… I’d watch that mouth of yours,” she warned, her tone icy.

“Oh?” I replied, feigning curiosity. “You mean the same mouth that Law loves to kiss?”

The mention of Law’s name seemed to hit a nerve. Monet’s expression twisted in a mix of rage and frustration. Monet’s frustration was palpable, her strikes growing more erratic as I danced around her with deliberate ease. “You know, Monet,” I said with a smirk, “it’s almost sad watching you get so worked up. You’re clearly not used to someone getting under your skin.”

Her eyes narrowed with fury. “I’m going to enjoy watching you fall.”

I chuckled, dodging another of her wild swings. “Oh, I’m sure you will. But before you do, let’s talk about something a bit more... personal. Like how Law and I had a little moment together.”

Monet’s confusion and irritation flashed across her face. “What are you talking about?”

I sidestepped her attack with a graceful twist, my voice laced with taunting amusement. “You didn’t know? Law and I had a rather... intense encounter. He had me pinned down, tending to my wounds with such skill. But it wasn’t just about healing. There was a certain... intimacy to it. You could almost feel the tension crackling between us.”

Monet’s grip on her weapon tightened, her frustration bubbling over. “I don’t care about your games or your little romance.”

I laughed softly, my eyes glinting with mischief. “Oh, but you’re mistaken. It’s not just about romance. It’s about how he made me feel, the way his touch was both firm and gentle. And this coat I’m wearing? It’s not just any coat. It’s his coat. The warmth of it, the scent of his cologne—it all reminds me of how he took care of me, making sure I stayed warm and protected.” I gave her a teasing wink. “A charming young doctor just knows all the right ways to satisfy a woman, if you know what I mean.”

Monet’s face twisted in anger. “Enough! I’m done listening to your pathetic boasts.”

I leaned in closer, my tone dripping with mockery. “Pathetic? Maybe. But it’s also effective. You’re rattled because you know you’ll never have what I had with Law. The warmth, the care, the connection—it’s something you can never touch. And that eats away at you, doesn’t it?”

Putting away my sword, I pressed my left palm against my right fist, activating the electrical charge with a crackle of energy. “You are so dead, princess!” Monet snarled, lunging at me with fury. I dodged her attack, her movements wild and fueled by rage. But then, suddenly, I felt something cold and heavy stopping me in my tracks.

“What the hell!” I cursed, struggling to move as the snow around me hardened, trapping me in place. Monet’s eyes gleamed with triumph as she closed in, her claws flashing. She slashed at my coat, the fabric tearing apart, falling in tatters around me.

“Now, there’s no coat to protect you,” she sneered, her smirk widening as I strained against the snow’s grasp.

“Damn it, I’m still stuck in this!” I growled, struggling against the snow’s icy grip. But before I could break free, Monet seized my left arm, her claws digging painfully into my skin. I swung at her with my free hand, but she was too fast. With a sinister grin, she spun me around and hurled me against the wall. The impact sent a shockwave of pain through my body, blood spilling from my mouth as I crumpled to the ground. My left arm throbbed in agony—the injury was getting worse, and I could feel it.

Monet approached me with a taunting smirk, her voice dripping with mockery. “Hahaha! My, my, Princess, did I injure your left arm?”

I looked up at her, breathing heavily but refusing to show weakness. “Even if you did injure me, I can still kick your ass with one hand tied behind my back!” I snarled.

With my right hand, I grabbed her left leg in a sudden move. Her eyes widened in surprise. “What are you doing?!” Monet demanded.

“NOW SHOCK!” I yelled, channeling the electricity from my arm directly into her body. The energy surged through her, and Monet convulsed, gasping for air as the shock overwhelmed her.

As she collapsed to the ground, struggling to breathe, I slowly let go of her leg and pushed myself up, clutching onto my injured left arm. The pain was intense, but I wasn’t about to back down. I stood over Monet, my eyes burning with defiance. “You’re not so tough when the tables are turned, are you?” I muttered, my voice low and fierce.

Just then, I heard the door creak open, and I turned to see Zoro stepping into the room. "Finally made it back," he said, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.

Laughing, I made my way over to him, relief washing over me. "About time you got here!" I teased. "And you didn’t get lost! I’m impressed."

But before I could say more, I saw Zoro's expression change. His eyes widened as he looked past me, and I felt a cold dread settle in my stomach. “Y/N, watch out!” he shouted.

“Snow Sword Skin Technique!” Monet's voice rang out behind me, filled with malice. I barely had time to react before I felt a sharp, searing pain in my left arm. Monet’s blade had cut deep, leaving a giant gash that bled profusely.

“Damn it!” I seethed, clutching my arm as I staggered back, trying to maintain my balance. The pain was excruciating, but I wasn’t going to let her see me falter.

Monet seizing the opportunity, grabs me with her claws. Her claws dug deeper into my chest, and I could feel her nails piercing my skin as pressure mounted on my ribs. "Ahhh!" I screamed, the agony shooting through my body. I clutched my left arm, still trying to lift my right leg for an attack, but Monet locked it down with her own, squeezing me into submission.

“Damn it!” I gasped, each breath harder to take as her crushing hold forced the air out of me. My body throbbed as if every nerve was screaming in pain.

“Y/N!” Zoro’s voice cut through the haze, his sword ready as he sprinted toward me.

“Zoro! Don’t!” I shouted, trying to keep him from getting any closer. I knew Monet wanted him to charge in recklessly.

Monet grinned wickedly, her taunt aimed right at Zoro. “My, even in the face of death, she still wants to protect you. How touching!” Her wings began to rise, preparing to deliver the final blow. "One more slash should do it."

Just then, the sound of footsteps echoed through the corridor. “There’s another room back here! Find those children and get them out of here!” shouted a familiar voice.

Monet froze, her attack halting as confusion washed over her face. “What the...?”

I took advantage of the distraction, clenching my left hand, summoning every bit of energy I had. Pain radiated through my body, but I forced it aside, connecting my right hand with my left. Power surged between them. A smirk tugged at the corners of my mouth as I realized I had the chance to fight back.

“Come on, let’s bust the door open!” The voice rang out, clear now. My eyes widened. "Wait, that's..."

“Raaahhh! Save those kids!” Sanji shouted as he burst into the room, G-5 marines following close behind.

Zoro threw an annoyed glance their way. “Why are all those marines after you?”

“The only person I can see is Pirate Hunter Zoro!” one of the G-5 marines shouted.

“Of course, that idiot is here,” Sanji said, exasperation in his voice.

"He really is something else," I muttered weakly through the pain.

“Alright, men! Everyone, make dumb faces at Mosshead!” Sanji commanded, and the G-5 soldiers instantly complied, pulling ridiculous expressions toward Zoro.

“I hope you all slip and crack your skulls,” Zoro grumbled. 

Monet’s grip on my leg loosened in the chaos, giving me the opportunity I needed. Summoning all the power in my right leg, I prepared to strike. 

Sanji, oblivious to the situation, suddenly locked eyes on Monet. “Never mind, we’ve got a hottie right here!” he swooned, hearts in his eyes.

“Yeah, shake those tail feathers!” one of the G-5 soldiers chimed in.

I rolled my eyes. “Of course, Sanji.”

“Pick your jaws up, morons!” Zoro barked at the G-5 marines, snapping them out of their daze. “And you, curly brows, do you not see she’s about to kill Y/N?”

But then, Sanji’s gaze shifted and finally locked onto me. His eyes went wide with sudden realization. “What the—? Y/N!” His voice, usually playful, was now filled with genuine concern. “You’ve got to be kidding me...”

That was all I needed to hear. Gathering the last bit of strength, I pushed back against Monet. With my right leg, I kicked her just enough to loosen her grip. “I’ve got one shot at this,” I muttered to myself, steeling my resolve.

With Monet momentarily thrown off, I activated the anklet around my leg, and connecting a touch with my left palm, letting the fire ignite. “Let’s see how you handle this, Monet!”

With a fierce stomp, I brought my foot down on her wing, flames erupting and sending tremors through her body. The fire spread across her arm, igniting her flesh. “Now, Blaze!” I shouted, watching as her arm was engulfed in flames.

Monet screeched, stumbling backward as she tried desperately to extinguish the fire. The tables had turned. The terror she had inflicted on me was now her own to face. I stood, clutching my injured arm but ready to finish what we started.

Monet, though weakened and scorched, wasn’t done yet. She bared her fangs, her icy wings spreading wide as she prepared for another assault. “You think this is over?” she hissed, her voice dripping with venom.

Just then, she was momentarily distracted by the G-5 marines, who were shouting and catcalling. “Sexiest bird I’ve ever seen!” one of them whistled, while another added, “woohooo! Baby yeah!

Zoro, incredulous, commented dryly, “Call me crazy, but I think she’s actually enjoying this!”

Seizing the opportunity, I made my way toward Sanji and swiftly undid his tie. Sanji’s face flushed a deep red, and I could feel his heart racing. “Y/N, what are you—” he started, but I didn’t give him a chance to finish.

With a quick motion, I removed his tie and began wrapping it around my injured left arm. “There, that’ll stop the bleeding for now,” I said, tying it securely.

Sanji, still looking dumbfounded, watched as I finished. I approached him, pecked him on the cheek, and said, “Did I ever tell you that you look absolutely sexy without a tie?” With a playful wink, I turned and made my way back to the battlefield.

Sanji’s face turned a deeper shade of red, but his attention quickly snapped back to the fight as he saw Monet preparing her next attack. 

Kidd POV…

"Kidd, I totally forgot we had a meeting to form an alliance with both Scratchman and Hawkins," Killer said, downing his fifth beer.

"Cancel the meeting, I don’t give a damn," I grumbled, chugging down my seventh beer. The room spun slightly as the alcohol took its toll. “The way Caesar’s showing the wrong people in this live recording, I don’t care about your poison gas!” I slammed my fist on the table, causing the remaining beer to slosh around.

Just then, the live transponder snail began broadcasting a room filled with children. “Little brats, what is this, a daycare live feed?” I sneered, irritation growing.

Killer chuckled, shaking his head. “At this rate, it looks like that meeting’s about to be more interesting than this.”

“I told you… DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM!” came a voice through the broadcast.

Y/N. The voice cut through my drunken haze like a lightning bolt. My mind, fogged by the alcohol, began to spin into a wild fantasy, the lines between reality and imagination blurring.

In my steamy reverie, Y/N’s presence dominated every corner of my mind. I imagined her standing in front of me, her eyes blazing with defiance and raw intensity. The fantasy was visceral and unrestrained. I could almost feel her body pressed against mine, the heat of her skin melding with mine as if igniting a feverish storm. The thought of her lips against mine, of her breath mingling with my own, sent a surge of heat straight to my core.

I envisioned gripping Y/N tightly, her form writhing beneath me, every touch and gasp amplified by the raw, primal energy between us. Her voice, fierce and unyielding, was now a low, seductive growl in my ear, every word a promise of unrestrained passion. The scene played out with explosive intensity: our bodies tangled in a frenetic dance of need and desire, our movements wild and unrelenting.

The world outside ceased to exist, our connection consuming all rational thought. I imagined the intensity of her gaze as it pierced through me, her skin hot and slick against mine. Every touch was electric, every whisper a command that drove me further into a frenzy of lust. I saw us locked together, the heat of our bodies mingling, each touch igniting the other in a relentless surge of pleasure.

Sweat dripped down my brow as the fantasy reached its fever pitch. I could feel the imaginary press of Y/N’s body against mine, the way her hands gripped me, urging me closer, driving me deeper into the madness of our shared desire. Her moans begging me for more, begging for me to go faster. I can hear it now, her voice filled with pleasure, “Kidd… oh Kidd dont stop.”  It was raw, untamed, a brutal collision of passion and power.

As the feed continued, Y/N's voice cut through the clamor, taunting the bird woman with a mix of defiance and strategic wit. That is until she mentioned Trafalgar laws. How he tended to her wounds, how he gave her his coat, how he had her pinned down, Y/N’s voice dripped with a mixture of pride and irritation. “That should be me doing all that!” The words were sharp and deliberate, designed to get under the bird woman's skin. 

My grip tightened around the beer bottle, the fiery liquid warming my insides as I took another swig. I could feel the heat of my frustration mingling with the alcohol, fueling a storm of possessive anger. My mind raced, images of Law's smug face and Y/N's vulnerable position stirring a tempest of raw emotion within me.

Killer’s gaze was fixed on the screen, his expression reflecting the same volatile mix of fury and frustration I felt. His hands were clenched tightly, knuckles white as if they were straining against invisible chains. “I told you, Kidd, we should have gone,” he said, his voice laced with frustration and a touch of regret.

I smirked, watching Y/N’s tactical play unfold. “Damn right,” I muttered. “My fiancée sure knows how to rattle anybody she comes across.” My pride surged with every clever remark Y/N made, each taunt a testament to her strength and cunning.

Just then, my eyes widened as the scene took a brutal turn. The bird woman, furious and desperate, grabbed Y/N with a vicious grip and hurled them against the wall. My heart pounded, the raw intensity of the scene searing through my drunken haze. Y/N's body slammed into the wall with a sickening thud, and I could see the grimace of pain on their face even through the screen.

Killer let out a low growl, his frustration palpable. But then Y/N retaliated sending the bird woman a jolt of electricity.

The way Y/N retaliated, her body moving with an effortless grace that spoke of countless hours of training and determination, was captivating. Her fierce resolve, Her focus—it was intoxicating. The bird woman reeled from the electric assault, her earlier bravado dissipating as she struggled to regain her footing. 

Killer, noticing my distracted, almost transfixed expression, took another swig of his beer, his eyes glinting with a mix of admiration and something darker. “She’s become quite the force to be reckoned with,” he said, his voice low but laced with a hint of intrigue. “I didn’t expect any less from her.”

I grunted, my fingers gripping the edge of the table tightly as I watched Y/N fight. “Yeah, she’s something else,” I said, my voice rough with emotion. “Every time I see her like this, it drives me wild.”

Killer’s smirk widened as he observed Y/N’s defensive tactics. “Looks like she knows exactly how to push their buttons,” he said, his tone dripping with admiration. “And she’s doing it brilliantly.”

My lips curled into a savage grin. “Damn right. That’s my woman out there, showing everyone what she’s made of.” I raised my beer in a celebratory gesture, the pride and possessiveness clear in my voice. “She’s got the fire in her, and she’s not afraid to use it.”

As the bird woman was forced back, her composure shattered by Y/N’s relentless assault, I felt a surge of passion and fury. Seeing Y/N fight with such intensity, their movements a testament to their strength and will, only fueled my desire. I wanted to be there, fighting alongside them, sharing in their triumphs and struggles.

“Let’s keep watching,” I said, my voice filled with a rough intensity. “I need to see every moment of this. I want to see how she handles this.”

Killer nodded, his eyes reflecting the same fervor. “Yeah, let’s see it through. She’s incredible.”

As the battle unfolded before us, the room seemed to shrink away, leaving only the raw, unfiltered passion of the fight and my unwavering fascination with Y/N.

Unknown Viewer…

As the live feed continued to capture Y/N’s fierce struggle, the three of us sat together, our eyes fixed on the screen. Y/N’s determination was palpable, her every move a testament to her strength and resilience. I couldn’t help but admire her, even as a dark plan began to take shape in my mind.

“She really is quite the woman,” one of my brothers remarked, taking a swig of his beer. His gaze was unwavering as he observed the battle. “Look at her stand her ground. It’s impressive.”

My other brother snorted, a derisive laugh escaping him. “And our failure of a brother can’t get enough of her,” he said, pointing at the screen. “He wouldn’t even know how to handle all that woman.”

The laughter that followed was harsh, but I found it fitting. The image of Y/N, fierce and unapologetic, stirred something within me. “She’s feisty, I love that in a woman,” I said, my voice filled with a mixture of admiration and darker intent. “She’s exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

I stood, the weight of my decision settling heavily on my shoulders. “It’s settled, then,” I declared, my tone resolute. “I’ll have father set up the arrangements. Soon, she will be mine, and we’ll be wed.”

My brothers exchanged glances, their expressions a mix of amusement and approval. “And I’ll make sure she knows what true power feels like,” I continued, a cruel smile stretching across my face. “The failure will witness it all, and he’ll be powerless to stop it.”

The laughter that followed was cold, echoing through the room. “Soon, you will be mine,” I said, turning my attention back to the live feed. “And we’ll show everyone what true dominance really means.”

As the scene unfolded, the promise of what was to come hung heavily in the air. I watched with a mixture of anticipation and satisfaction, knowing that soon, everything would change.

.

.

..

[xoxoskai]

Before anything else, I want to make it abundantly clear that these are all speculations.

I have taken whatever I could from the books and little hints and crumbs and come up with this theory and in no way does it reflect what will really be in the book.

Before I present my theory as to who the White Mask is, I want to cover who it isn't.

1. Vaughn Morozov

For everyone who doesn't know who Vaughn is, he's Kirill and Sasha's son and was, until recently, prime suspect #1 but Rina confirmed he will not be a part of Legacy of Gods so that essentially votes him out of this immediately.

2. Remington Astor

Before I started reading this series and had only heard of the White Mask, my first immediate guess went to the most unsuspecting person, Remi. Simply because no one would expect that from him and also because chances were that my man had more demons in his closet than he was letting on (like his Dad). However, he is not getting a book and the White Mask mystery is too good to not be revealed in a book which made me rule him out (sorrows and prayers, RemiAri you will always be famous)

3. Eli King

First of all, why would a 26 y/o participate in a passtime game of tag with college students? He's preparing to inherit an entire kingdom and I can't see him chasing people around for shits and giggles or for a more bloodthirsty reason. He simply does not have the time for it. Besides, even if he's not part of the Elites, he's dedicated to the entire united front that the Kings love to showcase which he won't betray just to satisfy his bloodlust (he might have other methods for it that does not require him to join the Heathens).

Which brings me to my prime suspect,

Ava Nash

Over the course of the first three books (Legacy of; Malice, Pain and Wrath), there were a lot of things that were said about Ava or in connection to her that hinted on something far more than simply words tossed to the wind.

(I will be referencing all of them and going forward will refer to the White Mask as WM)

I think the first, most obvious conclusion most people made was that the White Masked Heathen could be a girl. While the four known Heathens are all described as tall and muscular, it was specifically mentioned that WM was leaner.

(God of Wrath, Chapter 1, pg. 10)

Comes and goes as they please.

(God of Malice, Chapter 19, pg. 1)

Cherry could seduce the guards but not WM.

(God of Malice, Chapter 38, pg. 13)

Choice of weapon: Chains.

I always found this the most interesting because Killian, Jeremy and Nikolai rely on their strengths to wield their weapons whether it's a bat or a golf club or bare fists. It takes a considerable amount of power to swing those and inflict enough damage and pain.

But chains are easier to maneuver if you do not possess the actual strength to physically overpower your opponent. They can be swung at someone, used to disarm them or trip people or effectively cut air supply without exerting too much energy.

(God of Wrath, Chapter 1, pg. 9; God of Malice, Chapter 16, pg. 2)

Yes, I hear you. All of this is nice and good and obvious but where does Ava fit in?

Remember when Ava Nash took a shot for having done illegal things but not elaborating? There is so much more to her than what meets the eye.

Time and again, Ava has displayed tendencies that depict that violence does not bother that. That she finds it fun.

God of Malice, Chapter 7, pg. 2; God of Wrath, Chapter 4, pg. 8; God of Pain, Chapter 5, pg. 3; God of Wrath, Epilogue 2, pg. 1; God of Wrath, Chapter 25, pg. 2 God of Wrath, Chapter 25, pg. 2

Most Heathens: Jeremy, Killian and Nikolai partake in the brutal initiation to satiate their bloodlust of some sort. While Ava might not necessarily have the same level of thirst for violence as them, she is definitely a rule-breaker, loves treading the line between what is allowed and what isn't and has the most inside knowledge about the Heathens, something I will discuss in more detail soon.

If it's not obvious enough still,

Rina Kent does not like going with the obvious. She loves surprises and plot twists and I love getting surprised and having my mind blown.

Ava finds the entire concept of the initiation "fun" when mostly everyone outside of the Heathens has expressed distaste.

The reason I brought up WM's weapon of choice is because it was fascinating to me how Rina didn't go the conventional way of making Ava a pianist or a violinist which are usually what music majors in fiction pursue. She's a cellist. So, she probably has experience lugging her instrument to and from places. It speaks of considerable strength that she probably has carrying an instrument that weighs roughly 5-7 pounds around the campus daily, for years.

Every LoG book so far has been a Heathen X REU pairing.

Killian Carson X Glyndon King

Annika Volkov X Creighton King

Jeremy Volkov X Cecily Knight

Mia Sokolov X Landon King

Nikolai Sokolov X Brandon King

And lastly, Ava Nash X Eli King.

MORE STUFF SOON<3

[xinfinityl0ve17]

YU-KI (B.)

1) August 8

2) Blood Type: A

3) Height: 175 cm, Weight: 58 kg

4) Shoe Size: 26.5 cm

5) Lark (Cigarettes)

6) Basically, can't drink

7) Likes sweets

8) Mushroom Family

9) Prefers people with beautiful hair, fair skin, distinct facial features, and those who are not too gentle

10) Interests: Clothes, etc. Cigarettes, clothes, etc.

T: MANA chan has a shortcoming! He never stops at the stop line. He stops right in the middle of the crosswalk (laughs).

Y: My shortcoming is that when I start thinking, I overthink endlessly. I get completely absorbed. My strength is that I’m usually calm and might not be thinking about anything at all (laughs). But I think I’m a pretty calm person. Though it doesn’t really mean anything in particular (laughs).

T: You're not listening, are you? (laughs). When we’re all talking together, I sometimes wonder if you’re seriously listening... I think, "Maybe Yu~ki chan will sum it up," but when I ask, "What do you think, Yu~ki chan?" you respond with "Huh?" like you weren’t listening at all (laughs).

K: My strength is that I don't overthink things. I quickly forget unpleasant things! That might be my strength. My weakness is that I'm lazy.

T: My shortcoming is that I talk too much and am noisy. But sometimes that weakness turns out to be a good thing, so it might be a strength too.

Q: Have there been any incidents around you lately?

T: When we went to Osaka, there was something we called the "Box Riding Incident" (laughs).

Q: Was that with the equipment vehicle? (laughs)

T: No, it was with a Benz.

K: A 560SEL (laughs).

T: And then our support member Yukyo-kun was zooming through the streets of Minami in Osaka, shouting "Yukyo!" (laughs).

K: That was a major incident, right? (laughs).

T: It was seriously a huge incident! We laughed so hard (laughs).

Q: Can you boast about yourself within the group?

T: Among the members, I’m the weakest and only have about two good days a year.

Y: Among the members, I’m the strongest. You can call me the "luggage carrying captain" (laughs).

K: I’m the most twisted among the members. My belly button is crooked and the crooked end is withered (laughs). What am I even saying? (laughs)

M: Well, I’m probably the most knowledgeable about horror videos. I’m a collector (laughs).

K: Yeah, you have tons of videos. Almost as many as a video rental shop (laughs).

Q: What’s next for Malice Mizer?

T: We haven't decided on a drummer yet, but once we do, we’ll let everyone know, especially our fans.

K: Once we have a drummer, we’ll start working hard. This year, we’re aiming to have our own solo concerts!

T: For now, we’ve done about 10 lives in March and April, so from around June, we’ll slow down to about 2-3 lives a month.

K: During that time, we’ll be planning various things.

Q: Any plans for a tour?

T: We’d like to go on tour around summer. We hope to visit Osaka, Nagoya, and if possible, the Tohoku region as well.

Q: Finally, do you have a message for your fans?

M: We’re putting everything into the music, so please listen with your whole body.

Y: Please come to our lives.

T: Listen to the beautiful, sorrowful Malice sound!!

K: Eat Yoshinoya’s Tokumori (extra-large beef bowl)!!

T&K: Très bien!

NOTE: T is for Tetsu and K is for Közi since this interview was back in Malice Mizer Tetsu era. I hope you enjoyed it xxx

[pompoison]

Trigun Stampede Finale - Episode 12 Thoughts from Pom

0) Knives likes cowboys. His gap moe just keeps getting better. What a dork? I love him?

1) Meryl’s character growth has been super fulfilling to watch. I love how she stopped Knives’ plan to kill everyone by taking those steps to reach Vash. She did something so dangerous, risking an agonizing death at Millions Knives’ hands to save everyone, instead of freezing in terror like a lot of people would have done in that situation! I respect her SO MUCH.

2) Knives’ roar of outrage when he tries to kill Meryl. It really is always a brunette getting between him and Vash isn’t it? Junya Ikeda acted his heart out and it was amazing to hear how incensed Knives was while also hearing the panic of losing Vash in his voice too. I feared for Meryl as much as I felt heartbroken for Knives.

3) That scene with Vash awakening to save Meryl was some good food. Actually shivered when he thanked her as he stepped back into the fray to face Knives. The sound design, animation and voice acting of this show is perfectly crafted to give you a rattling experience.

4) I am a Stampede undercut Vash appreciator, but I love Vash’s new look in this episode. The reveal when it finally settles into that shape is once again a testament to the love poured into this show. His antennae are prominent, his forehead is cute, and I’m overjoyed that this iconic look could be given to him without sacrificing his undercut. It’s aesthetically pleasing. I hope that they keep this look for Vash.

5) Knives is beautiful. What right did Orange have giving Knives the prettiest face on this show?

6) Vash’s wing is monstrous to behold. The exact moment when it unfurls during his fall from the tower is HAUNTING ME.

7) The way the flying fight scene perspective makes you feel Vash’s gunshots as if he’s shooting AT YOU when he’s shooting at Nai. Ow. Sexy but ow.

8) Nico picking up Meryl and booking it will live rent free in my head forever too. Take her and run. Pocket wife. Zoom.

9) Unhinged freak thoughts incoming! I thought I was scared of Vash’s forehead but I was actually just scared of the nape of his neck being stiff with hair gel. I have a thing about the back of the neck. It’s gotta be bare so it can be stroked with light malice and gripped with violent force. Vash’s forehead is for kissing and smacking and flicking things at (Everything I want Nico and Meryl to do). Vash’s NAPE is for sucking biting & pinching (Everything I want Knives to do). It’s good Vash’s underside is shaved because the back of his buzzed neck is ero, and because the bottom half of his skull is slightly bristly, a superior texture. If Knives wants to grab him by the neck he can feel the warmth of Vash’s skin and pulse under his palm. If he wants to hold Vash by his hair he can grab a fistful from the top of his head. It’s perfect for my deranged imagination.

10) Kisses Vash’s forehead. Kisses it so much.

11) Vash bit Knives’ hand like an incensed dog and looked adorable doing it.

12) Millions “Hysterically appalled by my Eve’s savior complex” Knives

13) I was on Knives’ side when he said, in breathless horror, “After more than a century, that’s the best answer you could come up with?!” Seriously, Vash, that was such a lackluster response! I don’t care if you got shot fifteen times by the JuLai police, when you fly into the stratosphere with your brother who is in love with you you have a serious heart to heart with him! Jerk! /kidding

14) Knives finally realizing Vash is lost to him forever in that scene haunts me. He’s devastated. I picked the right antagonist to stan. This hurts so much.

15) Knives being the powerless one, having Vash wrenched away from him again and again, even though he promises to keep fighting for him is what gets me. Stampede is relentless about confronting you, the audience, with the fact that Knives is an EXTREMELY romantic character. Knives is SO WEIRD— he has these violent murderous methods, and yet he also represents this ideal paradigm of undying love. He’s not just a yandere. His heart was BROKEN this ep. He was squashed. The irony that the guy who hates all of humanity experiences so much humanity is buckwild. Knives is a romantic character even if some audiences find it repellant to ship him with Vash. His love for Vash is as unhesitant as it is unhealthy, to dramatic effect. The more Knives and Vash push against each other’s ideals, the tighter those ideals coil.

16) Those were the most beautiful dying words I’ve ever heard, thanks Knives I’m sobbing. You still do everything for that impossible “Us,” even after everything. Even after Vash has chosen humans over you every time. I love this sad lovesick plant.

17) Knives always keeps his promises to Vash. No, I haven’t read Trimax yet, but I know we haven’t seen the last of him.

18) The way Vash screams “Nai!” and sobbing Nai’s name while falling back to Earth can become my new ring tone! Congratulations to Yoshitsugu Matsuoka for bringing such a heartwrenching performance to Trigun Stampede Vash. ;-; </3 I love hearing his uniquely soft voice.

19) Stampede Eriks my beloved. Brokenly playing piano because it’s his last connection to Nai. He thinks he’s killed Nai and all the plants in addition to destroying JuLai. My depressed, remorseful baby oh my god.

20) Season 2 confirmed! 🎉 THANK YOU SO MUCH STUDIO ORANGE AND CONGRATULATIONS!💕🍊

Extra Thoughts!

21) Honestly, I feel relieved that Season 2 is a ways off in the future. It gives me time to thoroughly enjoy the massive amount of beautiful fanart and fanfic that’s been created. I was kind of just shoving it all in my mouth before and I want to savor it with a calmer frame of mind.

22) From my perspective as a fan creator who also makes original comics the pause period gives me a sense of breathing room to digest what I felt from this show and make the best possible fan creations about it. All my fanart so far has been made in a rush of passion. That’s fun and exciting, but without reflection, it lacks focus. I look forward to reading Trimax and fully learning all of the story. Also looking forward to do solo and collaborative zines, among other future Trigun fan projects!

23) I’ll admit that Stampede was my introduction to becoming a fan of Trigun, and yet, I feel safe and understood by Studio Orange’s retelling in a way I can’t articulate or justify. “They Get It” has no business coming from my mouth, but it is the way I feel, for some reason. How did they do that? It must be magic. Thank you Orange! Because of Stampede, I fell in love with all of Trigun. Met some really cool people, too. ;-; A

[decapolicemoment]

decapolice thoughts pt2

the trailers rlly hint that decasim is more than just a virtual reality used for training, calling it a “living embodiment of reality” and a second world

do they have to update decasim everyday or so, cause how would it know the details of a case that happened yesterday. if thats true, then i won’t be surprised if there are cases where we have to find clues in the real world, before being able to use decasim

the website states that crime beats are just embodiments of malice, not specifically criminal malice. so is it possible for non-criminals to become a crime beast?

if so, can it only happen to npcs or can it happened if you’re playing.

could you meet yourself in decasim if you were near the crime scene? people in it seem to be able to interact normally, so how would a conversation w/ urself go?

do injuries carry on from decasim? carl seemed to be somewhat hurt from getting punched, so do you feel the pain in the real world

how did harvard witness his mother dying?? in the trailers she seemed to be dead backstage in a circus or theater, so did he just stumble across her dead while there? was she missing and followed the police to her body??

i wonder why they changed it so that instead of everyone having there own health bar, they now share one. maybe that’ll change once we’re done training and we’re actually solving cases

9. why does this dude look like he’s harvards father? same eye color, hair color, and both have the diamond pendant and red stripe on their shirt..

10. speaking of the pendant, what is it?? it’s not uniform since manimani, zhang, and mikey don’t wear it, and (other than that guy) harvard and carl seem to be the only people w/ diamond shaped ones.

11. the random girl in the old trailers (i can’t find a good photo of her), who is she? i feel like she’s ai, especially since she was supposed to be support

12. when they all turn into animals, how did they seemingly pass out if it’s just vr?

13. how are they able to tell who committed the crime in decasim if they all look like toys? unless the person reveals their name while getting info, idk how you would be able to tell who’s who.

14. why is cat harvard the only one w/o a shirt?

15. if they were to be given virtual headsets that they can use outside of the police department, how would that work? like, if they move in decades, are they moving irl as well? there’s not much room to move inside the little pods, so i can’t imagine them having to move in them.

16. how do they control themselves in decasim?

17. if they’re able to go back in time to stop a crime in decasim and they know the date and location it was at, couldn’t they just look at that exact point and witness the murder themselves?

18. who even created decasim

19. what was decasim used for before it was used for detective and behavioral training?

20. what do they gain by changing character data in decasim? other than making it harder to figure out identities, it doesn’t seem to do much harm (unless the crime beast thing is also because of it).

21. if you were held hostage in decasim, couldn’t you just log out and log back in

[chouxtranslations]

Shizun 030 - The nation's daddy

Lu Yunzhen had collapsed into a puddle on the sofa. 

His two disciples flanked him and were trying to encourage him. 

“Shizun, don’t worry. I will always stay with you. A few hundred lifetimes will pass by in the blink of an eye. It’ll be over eventually.” 

“Shizun, don’t worry, I can help out too. Also if you get merits by saving people then the saving and the donations count as double merits. Plus we can charge through the roof if we meet rich clients, it might be enough to cut down a few dozen lifetimes.” 

Lu Yunzhen felt like they were making a lot of sense. The national median wage is less than 5 figures. He wasn’t materialistic anyway. His fate wasn’t hopeless and he could live an ordinary life. The worst that could happen is that he stays single and avoids dragging others into it…

He has disciples!

Lu Yunzhen rallied and continued to tackle the family bucket. Half way in he was feeling stuffed. Lifting his head he saw that the table was a total mess with the empty takeout containers forming a small mountain. 

Mo Changkong has finally stopped holding back and inhaled 20 family buckets straight. Every crumb went in his mouth but he still wasn’t full and was digging through the boxes for any remaining crumbs. 

Lu Yunzhen immediately passed the rest of his bucket to Mo Changkong. “I’m full, you should have this…” 

Mo Changkong thanked him and finished it in 10 seconds. 

Lu Yunzhen was stunned for quite a while and finally realized that he was wrong. 10k a month isn’t enough to feed his disciple. He can’t live an ordinary life, only a life of struggle… 

Hu Sui cackled while continuing to work away. “He’s always been a glutton and eats the most every time! Shizun said that it was hard to pay for disciples!” 

Lu Yunzhen looked at the 18 buckets that didn’t even contain a single bone in front of him and felt suffocated trying to guess the food budget and cooking efforts in his past life. 

It’s hard to be a shizun… 

Mo Changkong was bad at arguing. He stared at the energetic fox but said nothing. 

“I can make money and buy meat for you.” Hu Sui was too excited over finally finding his Shizun and continued to play cute, forgetting the pain of being beaten up. “Shizun, don’t go tonight. Settle for a night and let da shixiong sleep on the sofa. I have 9 tails now, it feels really nice to hug.” 

A-Sui is a 9 tailed white fox… 

Lu Yunzhen was tempted. He loved fluffy things and couldn’t stop petting stray cats and dogs. A 9 tailed fox must feel even better, right? 

Mo Changkong put down the family bucket heavily and asked coldly. “A-Sui, your limp is gone?” 

“En.” Hu Sui hesitated slightly, then continued cheerfully. “Mistress Jinling wis Shizun’s good friend and took care of me. But there were thousands of disciples at Jinling palace. Those assholes liked to look down people and mocked me for being a cripple. So I had to do my best to cultivate. Look, Shizun, I walk so well now…” 

Mo Changkong interrupted him. “You had the fated chance?” 

The cultivation threshold for those born with incomplete meridians is very high, it was more difficult than having a carp turn into a dragon. Now, Hu Sui has already fully cultivated his dragon meridians and can control them as if they were his own. It was proof that he has passed the threshold and was on the immortal path. 

This wasn’t something that can be done through effort alone, and it didn’t fit his lazy and clumsy personality. There must have been some major event that helped him leap over the dragon’s gate. 

Hu Sui hesitated for a moment, then admitted with a smile. “Yes.” 

Cultivators aren’t supposed to look into the fated chances of others. Mo Changkong saw that his ample spiritual energy didn’t have any evil or malice and decided that his shidi was on the straight and narrow. He wouldn’t try to poke into it again. 

Lu YUnzhen was envious. “That’s wonderful…” 

Forget about fated chances, he always gets a thank you for participating for prize draws, lottery tickets never win even 5 bucks in his hands, and whatever requirements are needed to be unlucky in video games, he will hit them every time… 

Hu Sui smiled. “It’s thanks to Shizun that I’m living so well now… Oh right, the mortals have a saying that if you pet a 9 tailed fox, you’ll get rich.” 

Lu Yunzhen happily rubbed his hands, showing his willing to pet all 9 tails til they’re bare! 

The fox’s eyes formed crescents in contentment. 

“A-Sui must have gotten much stronger now as a 9 tailed fox, right?” Mo Changkong decided that the damned fox was going to cause trouble if he didn’t intervene. He smiled, baring his terrifying teeth, and asked ‘warmly’. “I remember killing a 9 tail fox. Their actions were reprehensible but they were quite strong and it was a good fight�� A-Sui, how does your power compare to his?” 

Hu Sui was frozen. 

When he was little he snuck off the peak while Shizun was away and was captured by a 9 tailed fox that had betrayed the qingqiu foxes. He was going to throw Hu Sui into a cauldron along with other boys and girls to create medicine… Luckily da shixiong had found them, murdered the 0 tailed fox, and saved him. 

It was an awful battle. Da shixiong had gone mad after being wounded and forgotten his existence. He had beaten the other fox demon to death and pulled out his tails. The scene was gruesome and terrifying. 

Hu Sui had barfed until his eyes went black and he had nightmares about it for a long, long time… 

…

“Shixiong, I’m a big fox now. I’m not scared of you.” Hu Sui insisted. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve sparred.” Mo Changkong replied with satisfiction. 

“Let’s fight then!” Hu Sui shot back furiously. 

Lu Yunzhen thought that it was a good thing for martial siblings to spar and didn’t want to stop it. He leaned back on the sofa, but suddenly felt a bit ball of fluff. 

He looked down and saw that 9 massive fluffy white tails had exploded out of Hu Sui’s behind. His fox ears has also appeared in airplane mode, almost flat enough to be sticking to the back of his head. 

So the movie star really was a fox demon. 

Lu Yunzhen couldn’t help but pet the tail, it felt wonderful. 

“Shizun, we’re full and we’re going to get some exercise now.” Mo Changkong quickly stood up and dragged Hu Sui out the balcony and down 24 floors before the latter had the time to hesitate or ask Shizun for help. 

Lu Yunzhen had quite a scare. He ran up to look, only to see that the two had disappeared into the night and all he could see was the river of city traffic. 

Looks like the two were pretty close, if they’re fighting like that! 

He didn’t know when the two were going to be back and it was getting late anyway. Since Hu Sui had invited him to stay anyway, he took the chance to have a good bath. 5 star hotels are so amazing, even the soap was a famous brand and smelled great. And the jacuzzi was big and comfortable! Not to mention the mirror turns into a tv! 

After watching the tv for quite a while in the tub, he heard noises outside. Quickly throwing on a clean bath towel, he went out to see what happened. 

Hu Sui seemed fine on the outside, but there was a lot of white fur on the floor. He had melted on the sofa and was bargaining pathetically. “Shizun in the bedroom, you and me on the sofa, this is the line I will not cross…” 

He was about to cry from the fight. Once da shixiong’s will to fight was ignited he was even stronger than before. He fought crazed, with no thought of holding back. He was so scared that his fur had puffed up, remembering the scene back then of being part of the rescue efforts with everyone and discovering Shizun wounded and chained… Da shixiong had already been subdued by then, but he was still smiling. Over and over again, he tried to kiss Shizun’s lips, without realizing what a terrifying thing he was doing at all. 

That scene also appeared a lot in his nightmares. 

Now that he saw his da shixiong’s crazed again, he was terrified…

As Shizun’s “most beloved” little disciple, he stubbornly held on a bit. Then he knelt down and begged for mercy and waited for da shixiong to return to normal before negotiating. 

You never know what could happen. If the little piggy woke up in the morning and saw big brother and daddy in bed together… that would be a tragedy! 

He’d rather be beaten to death than see that!

Mo Changkong thought about it and agreed. 

Lu Yunzhen was pretty embarrassed about taking the bed, but his two disciples were just too filial and forced him to rest in the bedroom. 

He opened his phone to keep house hunting. 

“Shizun, you don’t need to do that. A-Sui has a lot of houses, just take one of them.” 

“En. I’ve already prepared a house for Shizun.” Hu Sui hugged his big tail mournfully and sorted out the messed up fur. If he hadn’t suddenly remembered this and begged successfully he would have had all his tail fur plucked out. “You should rest up, I’ll have my manager bring the rental contract over tomorrow.” 

“Rent?” Mo Changkong frowned. 

Hu Sui’s fur stood on end again. “I wanted to gift it, but with a fate like that how can I?” 

What kind of shizun takes advantage of their disciple? Lu Yunzhen wanted to turn it down. 

“Don’t worry, Shizun, I didn’t get you a highrise or anything.” Hu Sui giggled, knowing his personality. “It’s an old house, like the one you were living in before. It’s a little out of the way but it’s close to transit, and rent is 500 a month.” 

Lu Yunzhen was very touched. To rent his old house would have been around 800 a month… But houses like that go like hot cakes. A similar house in the suburbs with a friend discount should be around this price. 

He can handle this rent. 

Hu Sui shoved Shizun into the bedroom and ordered another round of fried chicken and beer… He was willing to risk his life to ask da shixiong to think things through and live a good life. Shizun was already in a pitiful state and he’s straight to boot, he shouldn’t try to sleep with him anymore. 

Mo Changkong agreed to it all. 

Hu Sui knew that his shixiong was proud and rarely went back on his word. But he was still a little worried and couldn’t help but down a few more beer. 

Da shixiong fell asleep. 

Hu Sui laid on the carpet and scrolled through weibo in boredom while playing with his tail. He suddenly saw a post in his fan group. “Cloud recess” had a familiar display picture and matching interests. 

Hu Sui confirmed that his Shizun was being mocked and became furious… 

His manager said that stars had to cultivate their images and gave him a cold personality. After he got famous it was too late to change and he kept it up with magic. 

Now that he found Shizun what did he need fame for? He can retire!

So, Hu Sui quoted the post without hesitation. “Stop with this nonsense, this person is my senior.” 

He had tens of millions of fans and was well connected. The internet immediately exploded with people spamming the comments asking who this man is. 

Hu Sui answered casually. “He’s like a father.” 

The internet exploded again, with new trending searches. 

The film star Hu Sui’s long lost father

Who is cloud recess

Where is the nation’s daddy 

Lu Yunzhen’s profile picture was a smiling cloud that he drew, and so people used that to find his weibo… 

There was a mass of comments. 

“Papa! Look at your daughter in law!” 

“Dad! I’m beautiful and can make my money, plus I can cook and clean and beat up pervers!” 

“Daddy, is this where I pick up my concubine plaque?” 

“Father! I’m here to show my filial piety!” 

“...” 

He Mengmeng was woken up in the middle of the night with calls from friends. She saw the trending news and rubbed her eyes, thinking that she hasn’t woken up yet. 

How did her 20 year old underclassman turn into her favorite star’s dad? 

She say near the bed in a daze and thought for a long time, then spammed Lu Yunzhen’s texts like mad. 

“Lu xuedi, what did you do to my fave?” 

“Xuedi, do you have standards for picking daughter in laws?”

“Daddy! Look at me!”

[shadowmaat]

(white) kids these days

When I was a kid, back in the age of the dinosaurs, we had a time-honored summertime tradition of dunking each other underwater. Push someone's head under, let go, and laugh as they came spluttering back up. Then (usually) allowing the same to be done to you in return. No real harm done and no active malice intended.

Of course it was a given that the ones being dunked knew how to swim, and that they were, if not actively agreeing to it, at least not trying desperately to escape. You also didn't keep holding the kid underwater. And keep repeating the process on a sole target as they screamed and fought for air. (minor allowances where siblings are concerned, but for the most part even they know where to draw the line.)

You never used racial slurs. You didn't taunt their inability to breathe. And you didn't start this "just having fun" by throwing rocks at your so-called friend.

Apparently times change. Or, if you're Black, things stay exactly the same. Now a 14 year old white boy is being indicted for attempted murder. He and his 14 year old white cohort invited their Black "friend" to a pond, threw rocks at him, and called him the n-word. The boy put on a lifejacket, informing the duo that he couldn't swim (there's a whole grim history of Black people and water) and entered the pond.

Rather than leaving him alone, one of the boys grabbed him and held him underwater. This happened 4-5 times while the cohort laughed and made jokes about George Floyd. The victim finally managed to scream for help and was rescued by a nearby adult.

The bully's lawyer would have us believe that it was "just a joke" that got out of hand and that charging him with attempted murder is excessive. This is absolute fucking bullshit.

14 seems young and it still qualifies as "just a kid," but in the US a 14 year old is probably in their first year of high school (grade 9, or possibly 10). You can't tell me a freshman/sophomore isn't old enough to be aware of their actions or that they "can't tell" when to stop. Sure, there's "difficulty reading social cues" but I'm pretty sure that "holding someone underwater when I know they can't swim" is a whole different ballgame.

I hope the white kid gets convicted. I hope he uses the time to learn to be a better person and to drop whatever racist bullshit he undoubtedly learned at home. I hope his cohort does the same. That kind of hatred only festers, and with it starting so young it'll only get worse from here.

I also hope the victim manages to overcome this trauma and that it doesn't leave him afraid of making new- and better- friends. He deserves kindness and support.

The depressing fact is that racists, and other genocide-minded bigots, feel more empowered than they have since the 50s and 60s to act out on their hatred, and that's all due to certain political groups who keep getting away with saying and enacting horrific things without being stopped. In the US it's Republicans, but it isn't just us, and the hatred keeps growing in power across the world. It needs to be exterminated.

As incidents like this prove, you can't just wait for the "older generation" to die off because they're teaching the younger generations to hate just as violently as they do.

[sparxaf]

**I have never related to anything less than that list above. So I made my own. **

Ways to Feel Like a Depressed, Neuro-spicy, Sloth Woman

1. Wear your pajamas all day and don't bother showering. Only brush your teeth if you have to leave the house.

2. Read horny, terrible stories on apps that overcharge. Fantasize about a grumpy, alpha werewolf roughly claiming you as their moon mate. Try rubbing one out, but fall asleep in the middle because you were up all night on that dumb app.

3. Take care of your emotional needs by eating cookies by the fistful.

4. Stare blankly at the social media app of your choice, scrolling through endless videos you'll never watch & posts you'll never read. Repeat until you achieve enlightenment.

5. Cancel plans. Never answer the phone. Let your friends know that you're still alive by popping into your group chats to cryptically react to the last thing someone said. Like 🧛‍♀️. It's on them to figure out what you mean by that. You're not responding to questions this year.

6. Set small goals. Start one, realize you need to do something else to accomplish it. Then another thing. Keep ADHD-ing until you have 7 tangential projects going, and you're sobbing into a sweater you started knitting for reasons you can't remember. Feel freed by the knowledge that nothing is gonna get done and none of it matters anyway, so eat another cookie and maybe a cheese stick to celebrate your newfound apathy.

7. Hiss at discipline and accountability like an angry possum.

8. Treat your emotions like an overflowing trash container you're too depressed to empty. Stick a foot in and shove it down. Compact your unexamined feelings. How else can they properly explode when you and your loved ones least expect it if you don't overfill the bag until it breaks and everything ends up in a smelly heap on the floor?

9. Avoid math like the plague. Have panic attacks when you think about logging into your bank account. Buy something dumb on Temu. Money and math are both imaginary anyway.

10. View sports a bit like a confused puppy. Tilt your head to the side and wonder why anyone wants to be that sweaty. Once a year, act like you give a shit about your health and start using the elliptical machine and then immediately get bored and replace it with eating more cookies.

11. Fall down endless internet rabbit holes and learn about the most obscure topics you can stumble on. Make sure to babble incessantly about them to your bored coworkers, and then act morally superior when no one else knows who invented forks and why. God, why is everyone so ignorant these days?

12. Cut off people - especially men- when they aren’t worth your time. Do it with malice and a stream of profanities. Politeness is for people who aren't in their pajamas at 3pm on a Wednesday.

13. Don't say yes. Don't say no. Learn to avoid making choices altogether and ignore anyone who tries to push you to make them. Especially if the choice forces you to put on pants. No one who loves you would put you through that.

14. Dedicate one day a week to self-care. Use cheap facemasks that will inevitably break you out. Over-tweeze your already meager eyebrows and then avoid mirrors for a while. Use the Korean washcloth you got off Amazon and scrub the shit out of yourself so you can be grossed out by the dead skin you've let fester upon your person. Be very red afterward.

15. Become overly-attached to fictional characters. Join a fandom. Dissociate from reality. Write fanfic. Make it your whole personality.

16. Be unaware of the happenings in your city. Know nothing about new places unless they deliver. Be baffled by heavy traffic because you had no idea that there was a sports thingy happening. What sport? Who fucking cares? Did you know that forks were invented in China? But the first written record of tined utensils was in Greece where apparently, the use of two-tined forks were seen as vain and also, possibly demonic, as they looked like tiny pitchforks. Like whaaaaat?

17. Don't iron your clothes before or during wear (especially during). A rumpled appearance let's people know that you don't want to be where you are, and you will be leaving SOON. It's about setting expectations. Also, who irons their pajamas?

18. Never prioritize others or their needs. You're depressed and it's your right to be rumpled and solipsistic. Nothing needs to exist outside of your sadness and self-pity. Doing things for others would make you feel better and then what? You'd have to put on pants and leave the house? Gross.

19. Hydration is important. But do not--I repeat-- DO NOT make smoothies. It's a waste of time and you'll have to wash the damn smoothie blender and we both know you ain't gonna do that. Gargle water in the shower for hydration (if you can bring yourself to shower). Drink soda pop late at night so you won't sleep. Horrify the Brits and microwave some tea because it's cold in your house and you can't afford to turn the heat up (cuz 'Murica). Don't eat soup though. Soup is depressing and you're depressed enough.

20. Anxiety attacks and true crime.

Ways to Feel Like a Powerful Woman

1. Buy lingerie when you’re single.

2. Read about finance and news.

3. Take care of your physical body.

4. Meditate.

5. Stay in touch with your friends - host every now and then if you can.

6. Set small goals everyday and accomplish them.

7. Be disciplined in whatever you do.

8. Work on your emotions. It’s important to be aware of what you’re feeling, and not brush them away.

9. Be good at math. Bonus points if you can calculate discounts, sales and tips in your head.

10. Stick to one sport of any kind. It’ll create a sense of self.

11. Aim to always be educated, without your ego of knowing everything getting in the way.

12. Cut off people - especially men- when they aren’t worth your time. Do it politely, cordially and quickly.

13. Be able to say no.

14. Dedicate one day a week to beauty and care. Masks, hair removal (if you choose to), exfoliation, blackhead removal, body brushing, nails - take care of your body.

15. Enjoy things without developing an attachment to them.

16. Know the best happening places in your city/ the city you know you’re going to eventually live in/ your dream city. Events, people (even if you don’t know them personally), establishments - keep yourself up to date.

17. Iron your clothes before you wear them.

18. Never prioritise anyone over your well being.

19. Drink stuff that isn’t alcohol or soda. Water, soups, cold pressed juices, smoothies, teas.

20. Multivitamins and collagen.

[thewahookid]

2025 LIST OF MORTAL SINS THAT CATHOLICS SHOULD AVOID - MORTAL SINS: REPENT! EITHER YOU BURN IN HELL ETERNALLY OR PAY FOR IT IN PURGATORY TILL THE END OF TIME

For nothing impure shall enter Heaven

Nothing impure and no one who does shameful things or tells lies will ever go into Heaven - Revelations 21:27

LIST OF MORTAL SINS (Catholic Theology - Saint Tomas Aquinas -Catechism of the Catholic Church etc.)

What is a Mortal Sin?

"Amen, amen, I say to you: If any man keep my word, he shall not see death forever."

—John 8:51

The Distinction between two types of sin

All sin is an offense against God and a rejection of his perfect love and justice. Yet, Jesus makes a distinction between two types of sins. We call the most serious and grave sins, mortal sins. Mortal sins destroy the grace of God in the heart of the sinner. By their very grave nature, a mortal sin cuts our relationship off from God and turns man away from his creator. St. Paul’s letter to the Hebrews tell us that "if we sin willfully after having the knowledge of the truth, there is now left no sacrifice for sins" (Hebrews 10:26). The second type of sin, venial sin, that of less grave matter, does not cut us off from Christ.

However, venial sin does weaken grace in the soul and damages our relationship with God. A person who frequently indulges in venial sin is very likely to collapse into mortal sin if they persist in their evil ways.

So what kind of Sins are Mortal?

In order for a sin to be mortal, it must meet three conditions:

Mortal sin is a sin of grave matter

Mortal sin is committed with full knowledge of the sinner

Mortal sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner

This means that mortal sins cannot be done "accidentally." A person who commits a mortal sin is one who knows that their sin is wrong, but still deliberately commits the sin anyway. This means that mortal sins are "premeditated" by the sinner and thus are truly a rejection of God’s law and love.

The first condition, that a mortal sin is of grave matter, means that certain premeditated offenses against God are more severe than others. We know that some sins are graver than others (e.g. it is a graver sin to murder someone than to lie to someone). St. John tells us, "If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly." (1 John 5:16-17). Thus St. John distinguishes between mortal and venial sin. Jesus also warns us that "Anyone who does not remain in me will be thrown out like a branch and wither; people will gather them and throw them into a fire and they will be burned" (John 15:6).

What kinds of offenses against God constitute "grave matter"?

In the Bible, St. Paul gives us a list of grave sins. He states that anyone who commits these sins shall not enter the kingdom of God. "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:19-20). Paul also tells the Corinthians, "know you no that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, Nor the effeminate, nor liers with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards nor railers, nor extortioners shall possess the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). These sins constitute grave matter, and if they are committed willingly and with full consent, constitute mortal sin.

The Church also tells us that the sins of anger, blasphemy, envy, hatred, malice, murder, neglect of Sunday obligation, sins against faith (incredulity against God or heresy), sins against hope (obstinate despair in the hope for salvation and/or presumption that oneself can live without God or be saved by one’s own power) and sins against love (indifference towards charity, ingratitude, and/or hatred of God) also constitute grave matter. This list of grave sins, is based on Jesus Christ’s interpretation of the gravity of the Ten Commandments. Grave sins can be classed as sins against God, neighbor and self, and can further be divided into carnal and spiritual sins (CCC 1853).

Four other sins are considered grave also. These sins not only offend God, but men as well. Thus these four sins are called "the sins that cry to heaven for vengeance" and are likewise mortal sins. These grave sins are:

The voluntary murder (Genesis 4:10)

The sin of impurity against nature –Sodomy and homosexual relations (Genesis 18:20)

Taking advantage of the poor (Exodus 2:23)

Defrauding the workingman of his wages (James 5:4)

Finally, the capital sins are also considered grave matter. These sins are vices and are defined as contrary to the Christian virtues of holiness. They are pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth (acedia).

Note from the author: For those of you who do not understand why these particular sins are of grave matter, I would suggest that you refer to the Summa Theologiae of St. Thomas Aquinas. He does an excellent job of explaining why these sins are of grave matter, and also explores the counter-arguments and objections that some people have regarding these grave sins.

A thorough listing and description of grave sins:

The First Commandment, "You shall Worship the Lord Your God and him only Shall You Serve"

Idolatry—Idolatry is the worship, veneration or belief in false gods. Because it is a direct rejection of God, it is a grave sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Idolatry includes worship of images (This does not mean that we cannot venerate religious images. Veneration of images such as a crucifix is veneration of the person depicted, and not the actual image in and of itself.)

Divination, magic and sorcery—This is a grave sin which includes attempting to command the powers of the occult, control or speak to demons or spirits (especially Satan), attempting to divine the future, and the use of magic charms (CCC 2116). Deuteronomy 18:10-11 speaks against this grave sin.

Sacrilege—The sin of sacrilege is a grave sin that consists of profaning or treating unworthily the sacraments and liturgical actions of the Church as well as things consecrated to God (CCC 2120).

Atheism—Because atheistic humanism falsely seeks man and human glory and rejects God, atheism is a grave sin (CCC 2125). It is a sin against the virtue of religion. St. Paul tells us, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all unholiness and injustice of those men that detain the truth of God in injustice" (Romans 1:18).

The Second Commandment, "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain"

Blasphemy—This grave sin is the uttering of hatred, reproach, defiance or speaking ill of God. Blasphemy against the Church, the saints and sacred things is also a grave sin (CCC 2148). It fails to give love and respect to our Creator. St. James speaks against sinners who "blaspheme the good name that is invoked upon you" (James 2:7).

Perjury and False Oaths—Those who take an oath in the name of the Lord and fail to keep it, or break the oath at a later date, show a grave lack of respect for the Lord of all speech (CCC 2152). Pledging oneself to commit an evil deed is also sinful. During his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus speaks against sinners who give false oaths (Matthew 5:33-34).

The Third Commandment,

"Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy"

Deliberate failure of the Sunday obligation—The Christian Sunday (the Lord’s Day) celebrates the new life of the world born in Christ’s Resurrection. All humans have a duty, to praise God and give him thanks. Thus all Christians are bound to participate in the Mass, and must partake of the Eucharist at least on holy days of obligation. Deliberate failure to do this constitutes a grave sin (CCC 2181).

The Fifth Commandment, "You shall not kill"

Murder (intentional homicide)—Direct and intentional killing is gravely sinful (CCC 2268). It is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance, much like the murder of Abel at the hands of Cain. Indirect homicide can also be of grave nature (such as refusing to help a person in danger). However, the Church teaches that self-defense is permissible for the preservation of a one’s life. If the attacker is mortally wounded or killed, then the death of the attacker is not a sin. Those who use unnecessary aggression in self-defense can sin mortally, if the attacker is killed or gravely injured.

Abortion—Human life begins at conception in the mother’s womb. For God tells us, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew thee, and before you were born I consecrated you" (Jeremiah 1:5). Abortion is therefore murder. The oldest Christian book (besides parts of the Bible) is the Didache, a book composed by the twelve apostles or their disciples. The Didache proclaims the ancient teaching of the Catholic Church, "You shall not kill the embryo by abortion and shall not cause the newborn to perish" (Didache 2,2). All Catholics who procure a completed abortion or participate in execution of an abortion are automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church (CCC 2272 and CIC Canon 1314).

Euthanasia—The direct killing of the sick, handicapped, or dying, regardless of motive, is a grave sin. The will and action taken to cause a person’s death is an act of murder (CCC 2277). Those who are suffering and are nearing death must be allowed to die (or recover, which is sometimes a possibility) naturally. Administration of painkillers is permissible, provided the drugs are not willed as an end or a means to precipitate death. "Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of ‘overzealous treatment" (CCC 2278). In this case death is not willed, but is merely accepted as inevitable and cannot be impeded.

Suicide—Suicide is murder of the self. It is contrary to the love of God, self, family, friends and neighbors (CCC 2281). It is of especially grave nature, if it is intended to set an example for others to follow. Voluntary cooperation in a suicide is also contrary to the moral law. However, the responsibility of and gravity of suicide can be diminished in the cases of grave psychological disturbances, anguish, grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture. But this does not make it morally permissible, and it is the judgement of God that will measure the gravity or responsibility of the sin.

Scandal—Scandal is an attitude or behavior that leads another to do evil. If someone is deliberately lead into a grave offense, that person’s tempter commits a grave sin (CCC 2284 and 2285). Jesus said, "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6).

Drug abuse—Drug abuse does grave damage to health and life and is a grave offense. Only legitimate therapeutic use is acceptable (CCC 2290).

Gluttony—Gluttony is an excessive love for food, and is a disordered passion for wordly appetites. Because it is contrary to the virtue of temperance, it can constitute a grave sin. Gluttony is also a capital sin (CCC 1866, 2290)

Alcohol Abuse—Alcohol abuse can also be excessively dangerous and harmful to the body, and sometimes to neighbors (CCC 2290).. Because it is also contrary to temperance and is a disordered passion, it is a grave sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Terrorism—Terrorism that threatens, wounds and kills indiscriminately is of grave matter (CCC 2297). Other forms of bodily violence (kidnapping, hostage taking, non-medical amputations, mutilations and sterilization) are also contrary to the moral law.

Extreme Anger—"Anger is a desire for revenge. If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin (CCC 2302). Christ speaks against anger saying, "Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgement (Matthew 5:22)."

Hatred—Hatred of a neighbor is to deliberately wish him evil, and is thus a grave sin (CCC 2303 and Galatians 5:19-20).

Extortion—Extortion is to obtain something from another by coercion or intimidation. It is an act of violence and theft, and is condemned by 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.

The Sixth Commandment, "You shall not commit adultery"

Adultery—Adultery is marital infidelity. A married person who has sexual relations with anyone but their lawful spouse, even transient sexual relations, commits adultery (CCC 2380).

Divorce—The grave sin of divorce condemns those who divorce and remarry (Matthew 5:32) and those who divorce in the civil sense (except by grave dispensation). Hence divorce between two baptized Christians is a mortal sin (CCC 2384).

Fornication—Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman and is a grave sin (CCC 2353). St. Paul condemns fornication in his epistle 1 Corinthians 6:18. All aspects of intimate contact associated with the marriage act also constitute fornication for Jesus said, "I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 9:28). If lustful looks are adulterous, how much worse is lustful physical contact?

Pornography—Pornography is the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party. Because it removes the marriage act from within the sacramental sanctity of marriage, and perverts sex, it is gravely contrary to charity (CCC 2354). The display of pornography to children and other parties is especially gravely sinful because it is gravely scandalous.

Prostitution—Prostitution reduces a person to an instrument of sexual pleasure and lust. It is gravely contrary to charity and chastity and defiles the body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. However, destitution, blackmail or social pressure can reduce the gravity of the sin. Still, prostitution is always a sin (CCC 2355).

Rape—A person who commits rape violates the respect, freedom, physical and moral integrity of the victim. It is a brutal crime of violence that can physically and psychologically scar a person for life. It is thus a grave sin (CCC 2356).

Homosexual acts—Although it remains to be determined if homosexuality is a genetic, social or personal stigma, homosexual acts are condemned by God and can NEVER be approved by the Church (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Genesis 19:1-29, Romans 1:24-27 and CCC 2357). If homosexuals are born with the condition, then they are called to live a life of Christian purity and chastity for the greater love of Christ. Such people can experience a life of trial, which all others must treat with compassion and sensitivity.

Incest—"Incest is intimate relations between relatives or in-laws within a degree that prohibits marriage between them" (CCC 2388). St. Paul condemns incest in his letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 5:1,4-5).

Masturbation—"Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of the sexual organs in order to derive sexual pleasure" (CCC 2352). The Church teaches that sex has two main purposes that must be sought in the marriage act: sex is for reproduction of children within a valid marriage, and it is a loving, unifying act between husband and wife. Masturbation violates both aspects of the natural law and is thus a grave sin.

The Seventh Commandment

—"You shall not steal"

Theft—All persons have a right to lawful private property obtained by legitimate work, inheritance or gift. To violate a person’s right to property by theft is a grave sin, especially if the loss of the property will severely hurt the victim (CCC 2408). The gravity of theft is determined by the harm it does to the victim. A poor beggar who steals a loaf of bread commits a less grave sin than a rich man who steals the savings of a destitute person. St. Paul tells us that thieves shall not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Cheating –A cheater defrauds his victim of their property. It is morally of grave matter unless the damage to the victim is unusually light (CCC 2413).

Defrauding a worker of his wages—This is one of the sins that cry to heaven for vengeance. Defrauding a worker of his wages withholds and impedes his ability to sustain basic needs for himself and his family. It is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance (CCC 1867).

Unfair wagers—Unfair wagers in games of chance are of grave matter if they deprive someone of what is necessary to provide for his needs and those of others (CCC 2413).

Taking advantage of the poor—The economic or social exploitation of the poor for profit harms the dignity and natural rights of the victim. It is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance (CCC 1867).

The Eighth Commandment

—"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbors"

False witness and perjury—False witness is a public statement in court contrary to the truth. Perjury is false witness under oath. Both acts are gravely sinful when they condemn the innocent, exonerate the guilty or increase punishment of the accused. They are of grave matter because they contradict justice (CCC 2476).

Adulation—Adulation is verbal speech or an attitude that encourages or confirms another in malicious acts and perverse conduct. It is a grave sin if it makes one an accomplice in another’s vices or grave sins (CCC 2480).

Lying—Lying is the most direct offense against the truth. It is gravely sinful when it significantly degrades the truth. The gravity of this sin is measured by the truth it perverts, the circumstances, intentions of the liar and harm done to the victims (CCC 2484). Lying is a sin that originates from the devil, Satan, who is "the father of all lies" (John 8:44).

The Ninth Commandment

—"You shall not covet…your neighbor’s wife"

Lust—Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. It is disordered because sexual pleasure must not be isolated from its true, natural place: within the Sacrament of Matrimony that is ordered to procreation of children and a unifying love between husband and wife (CCC 2351). Lust, a sin and vice of the flesh, is often a difficult vice to overcome. Human weakness of will and lack of conformity to God is a result of the fall of mankind that causes a disorder between soul and body (called concupiscence) which is often manifested in lust. Yet, lust is a sin that can be overcome through prayer and grace through the Christian sacraments. Christ wills that we overcome lust and replace it with Christian love and purity of heart (Matthew 9:28). "Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God" (Matthew 5:8).

The Tenth Commandment

—"You shall not covet…anything that is your neighbors"

Avarice—Avarice is greed and the desire to amass earthly goods without limit. It is a passion for riches and luxury. Those who seek temporal happiness at the expense of spiritual duties, risk the grave sin of avarice. Avarice is one of the deadly vices (CCC 2536).

Envy—Envy, another capital sin, is sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself. Envy can lead to grave consequences and can harm neighbors. If envy leads to grave harm to a neighbor, it is surely a grave sin.

Offenses Against Faith

Voluntary doubt of faith—Voluntary doubt of faith is disregarding the revealed truth of God and his Church (CCC 2088). Those who do this risk spiritual blindness and loss of faith.

Incredulity, heresy, apostasy, schism—Incredulity is the neglect of revealed truth or willful refusal to assent to it. Heresy is obstinate post-baptismal denial of a truth that must be believed with divine and catholic faith. Apostasy is total repudiation of the Christian faith. Schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or communion with the members of the Church (CCC 2089). These sins strain or break the bonds of unity with the offender and the Catholic Church.

Offenses Against Hope

Despair in hope—Those who despair in hope, cease to hope in salvation from God or help in attaining forgiveness of sin (CCC 2090). Christian hope sustains a believer’s faith and dependence on God, and should not be neglected or rejected.

Presumption—The Church teaches of two types of sinful presumption: the presumption that man can save himself without help from God and the presumption that God’s power or his mercy will merit him forgiveness without repentance and conversion (CCC 2092).

Offenses Against Charity

Indifference—This grave sin entails neglect or refusal on divine charity (a.k.a. divine love). Those who sin in indifference fail to consider the goodness of charity, and deny its power (CCC 2094).

Ingratitude—An ungrateful sinner fails or refuses to acknowledge and return the love and charity of God (CCC 2094).

Lukewarmness—Lukewarmness is negligence in response to God’s charity. It can also mean the refusal to give oneself to the prompting of charity (CCC 2094).

Acedia (spiritual sloth)—Spiritual sloth, a capital sin, is the refusal of joy that comes from God. An sinner who indulges in acedia may even be repelled by divine goodness (CCC 2094).

Hatred of God—This grave sin is born of pride and is contrary to the love of God. A sinner who hates God willfully rejects him. Hatred of God refuses to acknowledge and praise God’s goodness and obedience (CCC 2094).

Of course we must realize that this is certainly not a complete list of sins. The sins that are listed above are those of grave matter that can become mortal sins if they are done willfully and with full knowledge of their nature. Other sins are of venial nature, and are less grave than the ones listed above.

What is venial sin?

As stated before, venial sin is a sin of lesser matter than grave sin. It can also be a sin of grave matter in which the sinner did not fully consent to the sin or did not have knowledge that his actions where sinful. Venial sins will not destroy grace in the soul, and will not directly cause a person who dies in the state of venial sin to lose the promise of heaven. Yet, venial sin weakens a person’s will to avoid evil and thus may indirectly lead to mortal sin. Regardless, all sin is an offense against God and should be avoided.

All sins can be forgiven

A person who repents of their sin, intends to live a new life of grace, and receives the Sacrament of Reconciliation will be forgiven of all their sins (mortal sins in particular must be confessed in the Sacrament). Our sins can be forgiven, because Jesus Christ paid for the price of human sin by dying on the cross for the redemption of humanity. Jesus Christ, true man and true God, was the perfect sacrifice for human sin and as a result saved those who are baptized, repent and believe in him.

Because a baptized Christian can still sin, Christ instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus gave the power to forgive sins in his name to the Church. He told his apostles, "Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained" (John 20:22–23). This means that the apostles and their successors, the priests and bishops of the Catholic Church, can forgive sins in Jesus’ name.

It is vitally important that Catholics confess sins on a regular basis, especially if we are in the state of mortal sin. A person who dies in mortal sin cannot enter the kingdom of heaven and is doomed to eternal suffering in hell. Even when we have not committed mortal sin, we are still obliged to confess our sins at least once a year. Christ, in perfect love, laid down his life so that we may be forgiven of our sins. The sacrifice of the cross should not be neglected or taken for granted. Jesus died for the life of the world and is thus the light of the world. "He that followeth me, walketh not in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (John 8:12)

--S.M.M.

Source :This article, if used intact, maybe distributed and posted on other websites without the author’s permission. If any part

of the article is used in a quote or used in part it must be accompanied by a link or written reference to this website’s

internet address.

Catholic Theology

#CatholicChurch #Theology #MortalSins #AvoidHell #wrrtotustuusfiat

[marysittingathisfeet]

Grace and Mercy: Not Identical Twins

Grace and mercy are both gifts from a loving God. But they are not the same.

Mercy is an attribute of God's character. Ephesians 2:4 tells us "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us." So God's mercy is a product of His love. But what is it? Mercy is withholding punishment even though it is deserved. Titus 3:3-7 sums it up really well.

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Thus we now have grace- but what is grace. Grace is a gift of divine favor that is unmerited and spontaneous. Paul tells us in Ephesians that "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8. 

But there is another aspect to grace that Paul also endorses. Grace also empowers us. 1 Corinthians 15:10"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me".

Paul is telling us that God's grace enabled him to work even harder than those around him. But Paul wants us to understand that it was God's grace that enabled him, not Paul's strength.

Philippians stresses this concept of God empowering us. Philippians 2:13"for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure".

When Paul felt weak because of a thorn in his flesh he pleaded with God three times to remove the thorn. God declined to do so but told Paul- 2 Corinthians 12:9"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me".

So because of God's love for us, He shows us mercy. We do not receive the punishment that we deserve. Rather Christ paid the sin price for us. But God did not stop there. We are not released from jail homeless, penniless, and hungry. God then bestows not only favor but power on us so that we can do His will.

[cocomonetxos]

Colossians 3:1-25 KJV

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. [2] Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. [3] For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. [4] When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. [5] Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: [6] For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: [7] In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. [8] But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. [9] Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; [10] And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: [11] Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. [12] Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; [13] Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. [14] And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. [15] And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. [16] Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. [17] And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. [18] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. [19] Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. [20] Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. [21] Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. [22] Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: [23] And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; [24] Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. [25] But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

[srngrque]

books i read in 2024.

1. Normal people

[Re-read] 4/5. I love this book so much, like there is not a part that i do not adore. Connell and Marianne are two characters I hold so close to my heart. This book, I hold this book so close to my heart. I will always come back to this book.

2. Happy place

3.4/5. Emily Henry is an amazing writer but she has always been a hit-or-miss for me. 😭 However, Happy Place was a big hit. (more than Book Lover) Conversations were raw, I love complicated characters for my mental health. Didn't connect with the main character much so what can i say lmao

3. None shall sleep

3.2/5. Not complicated, simple yet intriguing. I was slightly confused by some actions but why did the main girl have more chemistry with the guy who was in jail (pretty fucked considering he murdered someone to be in jail.)

4. Bride

3.6/5. Lmao I have no idea what to say, but it was a guilty pleasure. I ate up that book in one go. And I don't even remember anything except that that alpha was confused why his vampire bride smelt so good. The thing about powerful opening. (plus i didnt bring my laptop to go study after work in my friend's uni so i borrowed her book)

5. Love theoretically

3.9/5. That is the problem, I know I liked this book and I enjoyed this book but god save me if I remember anything that happened here. Importantly, the chemistry was so good and the consent the male character kept asking from the female character was chef kiss, over the moon, beautifully done.

6. You said I was your favorite

2/5. this book made my brain do flips in confusion and the way he used to describe the female character was sometimes so random? and vulgar? and what's with these cousins or brothers wanting to fuck a virgin?

7. The naturals

3/5. I'm a whore for criminal minds. If you ask me to watch one show for a lifetime, I will in a heartbeat choose criminal minds, and when I heard the naturals was like criminal minds. I picked it up but well the story was executed nicely as expected from Jennifer lynn Barnes but she fucked up my ship this time and I cannot proceed to the next book.

8. God of Malice

2.5/5. I went through this with little to no idea what was the plot and the prologue had me spiraling because why is the fmc sucking the mmc's dick at the edge of the cliff, and falling in love is nice and all but woah rina kent and her legacy of god series kinda has the same story flow, it was pretty boring to say the least Killian and Glyndon is probably my least favourite couple.

9. God of Pain

3/5. LMAO now this is the couple I did kinda enjoyed since they served angst amazingly. The banter was amazing and there was an actual plot where the mmc would let fmc talk and the fmc would stand on business, the dramatic crap of the fmc shooting the mmc was funny too, and the whole kidnapping her to an island? Brother, I wish my future boyfriend would be THAT rich.

10. God of Wrath

2/5. Listen the pairing was amazing and thats it, just different couple but the same plot as God of Malice, they met, she provoked him and . . now he wants her to be his? And why again is every girl in the book a virgin? LMAO oh but i did like how Cecily liked Landon first, it was different from the first book but well yeah . .

11. God of Ruin.

2.5/5. Landon and Mia, this was such a good pair yet the author, Rina Kent. Please if you give me a chance to write this book, i would, i just would have done so many things differently. Landon is an asshole we should have seen him suffer more, in so many different ways bru but yeah 2.5 is because i really liked the pairing from God of Malice, thats about it.

12. How to end a love story.

5/5. THIS was it for me. I am still in a slump and on the idea that i might just never find another book which is this good. Though the whole the fmc falling for mmc was weird considering the past LMAO THE ANGST was chef kiss, i want the author to rip my heart out from my chest and keep serving me with the angst. the mmc being so vulnerable with his feeling, it was so chef kiss, its like i finally got the feeling of "woah this is what 5 star book feels like." amazing amazing amazing.

13. Ready or not.

3.5/5. The fmc was hilarious, like she had my type of humor, dry, dark and weirdly awkward. It served love traingle yet i did not have a guy i was really rooting for, there was not much given for the both mmc which i get it. the whole growth of fmc was beautiful to see, i think she would have thrived single as well. though i did like ethan (the mmc 1) more than the brother (mmc 2) but i also see why the fmc chose at the end.

14. Not in love.

3.9/5. After the two smash of Ali Hazelwood in my life with her books, i was slightly, just slightly let down by the romance, i just did not get much into the characters but the plot was amazing. I love mmc who begs for the fmc to just love him LMAO, so that was good to see. an amazing group of friends, i love to see. the twist was pretty expected. I am excited for her other books though, but nobody will ever convince me to read the love hypothesis.

15. The wall of winnipeg and me.

3/5. The slow burn was amazing, and like . . i dont even remember 90 percent of the plot . . yeah. Like it's a good marriage of convenience, boss x office worker book. I guess like 90% of the book is just s l o w b u r n nice

16. Call it what you want.

2.5/5. The plot was about a situationship period but I just did not find the characters ..likeable and maybe that is the intention of the author then she is doing well. Yet all of the actions irritated me or maybe that is what's called situationship LMAO but there were some BARS in the book, I also think I'll think about the audacity of the characters yeah . .

[lordgodjehovahsway]

Deuteronomy 19: Moses Tells The Israelites To Create Cities Of Refuge

1 When the Lord your God has destroyed the nations whose land he is giving you, and when you have driven them out and settled in their towns and houses, 

2 then set aside for yourselves three cities in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess. 

3 Determine the distances involved and divide into three parts the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, so that a person who kills someone may flee for refuge to one of these cities.

4 This is the rule concerning anyone who kills a person and flees there for safety—anyone who kills a neighbor unintentionally, without malice aforethought. 

5 For instance, a man may go into the forest with his neighbor to cut wood, and as he swings his ax to fell a tree, the head may fly off and hit his neighbor and kill him. That man may flee to one of these cities and save his life. 

6 Otherwise, the avenger of blood might pursue him in a rage, overtake him if the distance is too great, and kill him even though he is not deserving of death, since he did it to his neighbor without malice aforethought. 

7 This is why I command you to set aside for yourselves three cities.

8 If the Lord your God enlarges your territory, as he promised on oath to your ancestors, and gives you the whole land he promised them, 

9 because you carefully follow all these laws I command you today—to love the Lord your God and to walk always in obedience to him—then you are to set aside three more cities. 

10 Do this so that innocent blood will not be shed in your land, which the Lord your God is giving you as your inheritance, and so that you will not be guilty of bloodshed.

11 But if out of hate someone lies in wait, assaults and kills a neighbor, and then flees to one of these cities, 

12 the killer shall be sent for by the town elders, be brought back from the city, and be handed over to the avenger of blood to die. 

13 Show no pity. You must purge from Israel the guilt of shedding innocent blood, so that it may go well with you.

14 Do not move your neighbor’s boundary stone set up by your predecessors in the inheritance you receive in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess.

Witnesses

15 One witness is not enough to convict anyone accused of any crime or offense they may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

16 If a malicious witness takes the stand to accuse someone of a crime, 

17 the two people involved in the dispute must stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and the judges who are in office at the time. 

18 The judges must make a thorough investigation, and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against a fellow Israelite, 

19 then do to the false witness as that witness intended to do to the other party. You must purge the evil from among you. 

20 The rest of the people will hear of this and be afraid, and never again will such an evil thing be done among you. 

21 Show no pity: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.

[medlabmech]

Thanky thanky for the tag!

Sooo, let's see

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yup! IRL I'm named after my grandpa and online I named myself after my line of work

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday, as a matter of fact. I was listening to the Girs OST, and the final song came up, and it got me to think of my relationship with my inner self in a different way. I normally feel hate towards the part of me that constantly puts me down and chases a false perfection, but maybe he's hurting too, and needs some love and healing

3. Do you have kids?

Do the OC concepts in my head count?

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Hmmm, I dunno. I guess my sarcasm level is mid? Like, I can use it to joke around, but I don't use it with malice

5. What sports do you play/used to play

Did swimming for a long time, some football just to please my dad, and went to the gym for a while. Planning to go again once my military service is done

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

Their face

7. What's your eye colour?

Hazel/honey coloured. They look quite pretty in the light

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. Most scary movies actually piss me off

9. Any special talents?

Hmmmm, I think I'm a natural with writing, I'm also good at studying, cooking, I'm a great phlebotomist with a gentle hand and I also have the superpower of never, EVER being late to anything.

10. Where were you born?

At a fancy gynecologic hospital in that huge ass expanse of city that covers Attica

11. What are your hobbies?

Gaming, cooking, chatting, writing, exploring, stuff like that. Might discover some more later on

12.do you have any pets?

Yes! This little crazy Jack Russell. She's an imp, but she's our imp, and we love her like the world

13. How tall are you?

165 cm, I think? I dunno

14.favourite subject?

Hmmm.... anatomy and blood donation, perhaps?

15. Dream job?

Well... working in healthcare is already my dream....but even if it doesn't work out, I could go for something chill, like owning a cafe I guess.

Tagging @w4nderingdreamer @eri-lessthan3 @lungia @brennholzverleih @someoneihavelovedbutneverknown @dashadowgirl

INCREDIBLY late to a tag game by @cityoftheangelllls (thank you!) but:

1. are you named after anyone?

nope!

2. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday, listening to elizabeth deshong singing fidès’ act v aria in le prophète

3. do you have kids?

no, but i work with them for a living

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

it depends.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

do play: dancing is a sport even if you just do it for fun! also bowling sometimes

have played: soccer, basketball, volleyball, and cheerleading

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

their eyes, maybe?

7. what’s your eye color?

green, but with a little orange ring in the middle

8. scary movies or happy endings?

this somehow feels like a false dichotomy. but happy endings ANY DAY

9. any special talents?

i’m reasonably proficient in a number of creative and/or intellectual things

10. where were you born?

the usa midwest!

11. what are your hobbies?

dancing, reading, writing, watching probably too much youtube for my own good, photography, walking, cooking, discovering the world 💗

12. do you have any pets?

no, but i am a second mom to one of my roommates’ cats (translation: i feed and give water and do all the other stuff whenever said roommate is away)

13. how tall are you?

5’7” (1.7 m), more or less

14. favorite subject?

just about anything arts or humanities or language related

15. dream job?

honestly, still figuring that one out

and oh no! i can only tag 15 of you! but even if i don’t tag you here, consider yourself tagged in spirit <3

@leporellian @rayatii @monotonous-minutia @kerfluffel @stoportotouch @widevibratobitch @enigma-the-anomaly @smile-at-the-stars @supercantaloupe @per4mancecheck @starnewt @iricolor @shredsandpatches @theresa-of-liechtenstein @vera-dauriac

[turnpage]

send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list

generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by

feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.

❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ �� I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜