#9 Ways to Kill Sin in Your Life

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

by Chris Gordon | Puritan theologian John Owen’s work On The Mortification of Sin in Believers is a classic that should be read by every Christian in their struggle against indwelling sin. In what follows, I provide a description of Owen’s nine ways of mortification to provide a short, clear summary for the reader to apply in his sanctification. Following is Owen’s case study...

[banana-with-a-bow-tie]

is being gay/trans REALLY a sin? Is being attracted to the same sex/wanting to dress as the gender you feel you should be really all that bad to christians? Why do christians care what people do with their own lives to the point that they tell them it’s “sin”

I'm seeing three questions here. 1. What is sin? 2. How do we know something is a sin? 3. Why do Christians care if people sin?

What is a sin?

In order to understand what sin is you need to understand who God is. God is good. He does not just possess good or desirable qualities. He is good. The word "good" comes directly from the word God because God is the very standard of what it means for something to be good. We can say things like flowers and sunsets and sharing are good because they are based on God who is the source of everything good (James 1:17).

God is also our Creator. He designed us according to His perfect goodness so that we could be like Him and walk in His good ways (Psalm 25:8; Hebrews 12:10). God would be unloving to create the world and not follow His goodness.

Sin, then, is our rebellion against God and His goodness. When Adam and Eve first sinned, they were tempted with the idea that they could be like God and decide what is good and evil for themselves. They wanted to be able to say, "God is not king, I am king. God's ways are not good, my desires are good."

This is a lie from the father of lies. Satan wants us to believe that if I just do whatever I think is best then I will find true goodness and satisfaction, but all it does is lead us further and further away from true goodness which comes from communion with God (Psalm 34:10).

2. How do we know something is a sin?

When Adam and Eve sinned, our communion with God died. We all like sheep went astray and turned aside to our own ways. (Isaiah 53:6). We stopped listening to God's loving care and instead started following our hearts, but our hearts are deceitful and wicked beyond understanding (Jeremiah 17:9).

We cannot listen to our attractions or our feelings because we are attracted to and find pleasure in things that God declares are evil, things that are contrary to His good design. If people did not find pleasure in things like cheating on your spouse or stealing, then they would never do it. They are drawn into wrongdoing by their own wicked desires (James 1:14).

But God is still good. He has not left us without a witness. He has given a conscience to people who are hostile to Him so that even they can recognize when their desires are not good. We all know inherently that lying is bad, that pride is bad, that fighting and anger are bad, because God has hidden His law in our hearts (Romans 2:15).

However, because we have deceitful rebellious hearts, we try to justify ourselves and explain it away and muffle the conscience so it can't bother us any more, like searing your hand with a hot iron so it can't feel anything (1 Timothy 4:2).

The only way we can know something is sinful is by God giving us new life and enabling us to trust in the goodness of His Word again. We can know with certainty that all sexual desire outside of marriage is sin because God told us it defies His character and people do it because they want to rebel against Him, so God gives them what they want (Romans 1:24-25).

3. Why do Christians care if people sin?

Ray Comfort tells a story about a man who hated homosexuals. There was a broken elevator in his building with a sign on it that said "DANGER! OUT OF ORDER!" The hateful man saw two lesbians approaching the elevator so he took the sign down so they would use it and fall to their deaths.

God has given us a clear warning in Scripture that following your heart is dangerous. It's like an addictive drug, numbing your mind with pleasure so you don't realize it's killing you. If someone you loved was overdosing in front of you, you wouldn't say "whatever man, live your truth." You would shake them awake so they could see what is happening to them and try to get them help. If I believe that God's warning is telling the truth, the most unloving and hateful thing I can do is not tell anyone about it. Woe to me if I see judgment coming and don't tell anyone how to be saved (Ezekiel 33:6)!

Christians aren't trying to control you or force you to follow their personal preferences. Some people who profess Christ do that, but mostly we have met a God who loves us, who saw us hurtling in a downward spiral of guilt and shame and earning eternal punishment for our crimes against Him, and choosing to show us forgiveness in an unfathomably kind way.

Every single one of us has disobeyed God and tried to take His place on the throne. We all stand guilty before God not just for things like murder or homosexuality, but for lying and envy and idolatry. We have broken God's laws and because He is good, He cannot leave evil unpunished. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Every single one of us dies because it is what we have earned for ourselves. We deserve for God to give us His wrath and anger for waging war against Him (Romans 1:18).

But God is rich in mercy and abounding in love even to those who hate Him. We owe God a righteous life, but none of us are righteous, so God decided to wipe away our debt by living the perfect life for us. God became a man, Jesus, lived a perfect life, then died on a cross, taking the wrath of God we deserved, then rose again on the third day, proving that the price had been paid, then He ascended to God's right hand to offer Himself as the reason people can stand before God as righteous.

God does not delight in the death of the wicked. He does not want you to keep trying to find your identity in yourself. He wants you to know Him and His love for you. He wants to wipe away your sin and make you white as snow. What you need to do is confess your sin to God, which means to agree that you are guilty of rebellion against Him and that He is truly Lord, and you must believe that He will forgive your sin and give you eternal life because of what Jesus did for you on the cross. God is faithful and just to forgive the sin of anyone who asks Him (1 John 1:9)

I care about what you do with your life because I love you and because God loves you, just like a Father loves His children and wants what is best for them. I don't want you to miss out on the amazing gift of grace God is offering to you. Don't let Satan keep deceiving you. He promises you peace but all he can give you is death. Every promise of God will always come true (Titus 1:2)

[jacktheeldergod2]

You find a weird folded paper in your wallet. It describes how 3 months from now a monster will come to your area and you have to deal with it. Below is the list of monsters,one of which you must tick off,lest all of them arrive. Your choices are the following:

Sinless Steve:a dazzling wrestler with long thick messy hair,blessed with the ability of no one realizing when he does a sin or breaks a law or even says something bad. He's also strong enough to walk through steel as if it was tinfoil and durable enough to get run over by a car and be pretty much unscathed,thus he has to turn his powers off to wrestle. Apart from that he is a normal human serial killer through and through. No details were given on why he kills people instead of just robbing a company and buying enough drugs to kill an elephant like a normal person would

An invisible dinosaur with human intelligence. While not specifying the type of dinosaur an image of a car with a stepped on,crushed front was provided so that's a way to gauge its size. The dinosaur was described as a callous,sadistic creature that is very racist towards humans and said its feathers were a mutated ochre color. No mentions of what this mutation is were present in the letter

A strigoi which means a mythical nosferatu looking ass vampiric undead. It is strong as hell and more aggressive than a hyena. In its previous life it was a renowned fisherman and it still uses a fishing rod haunted by his wife. He uses it to catch people. If you hold religious faith holding a religious symbol up will hurt him a little. You could torture some occult knowledge out of him maybe

Hisia:a decrepit looking smelly sludge amoeba that eats plant life. It's a slime monster basically. Sings a weird bellowing song that makes people tremble,those who get close enough having their organs rupturing from the sound. Smells like rotten food,so much so that flies constantly die trying to go towards it

Lebo Nigoryx:a 10 meter tall troll with 4 heads and 9 arms. their blood is acid,their mere breath poison and the touch of their scorched palms is a wildfire,setting aflame all they touch. Weakened by lead. Has a specific grudge on native americans. Or it prefers their taste. Afraid of hawks

Kevin Jameson Jones:a man from a parallel earth with multiple steampunk enhancements in his body. The machine implanted on his chest allows him to change into different mutated forms including an anglerfish form,a really tall hermaphrodite human form,a beastly canine form,a hyper fast feline form,a songbird form and a fire breathing pangolin form. This knock-off Ben ten does human experimentations to test new forms he could make. If you beat him he will willingly transplant his machines to you and then live to serve you as long as you allow him to add more forms. Has baggy eyes and messy black hair but his machines keep him from going pale or frail

Alertharax: an angel of another world that has come to "cleanse the unclean". It looks like a pangolin the size of a rhino,with platinum plates,golden claws and scaled grey skin. Only attacks at night and never appears under the sun's gaze. Seems to be able to mind control young teenagers and children to a minor degree. Speaks calmly but in a shrieky,gravelly voice

The truest warrior:a man that has a life extending item called the pugilist's polyhedron that lets him lengthen his life in purpose of training. Knows most martial arts armed or unarmed. Is supernaturally physically abled due to training for more than 14000 years. Cannibalizes the random people he chooses to fight and always beats. Looks 40 years old,has scars older than your family name. Has a satchel with an unknown amount of weapons that all magically fit there

Ogallon the river scourge:a maroon colored dragon as tall as a rhino with a torso as long as a bus and 12 legs. Swims around in sewers,rivers,lakes and other places of water. Eats humans just to bring misery,hates loudness. His tail has a scorpion stinger with a poison that turns those hit into undead wraiths. He has never lost a battle and never had a scar given to him by anyone who wasn't themselves a dragon. Hoards metals of any kind

@1969chevycamaro @whereserpentswalk @everythingismadeofchaos @techiekittie @trashsouppossum @ononpetitecroissant @parsley-and-lesbianism @polkadotsunshine @strange-and-stupid @doyoudreamofwater @dackychansworldofhoshino @dh-ng @decoysender @foxundermoon @frozen-antifreeze @gloriousvermin @kinkshame-puncher-666 @kirkland-brand-witch @leavesswaytoday @bisexual-bat @bellaphomet3 @mmmmmmky @mun-urufu @moonsfavoritedaughter

[imgeekgirlfan]

The Curse of Cassandra [EP : VI]

Read in Ao3 : here

Pairings:  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]

Content waring : 18+ smut/nsfw, manipulation, fingering, p in v, virgnity loss, unprotected sex, creampie (Just asking for a friend: Do the Bene Gesserit need a condom?🤔)

tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers

Summary: On your twentieth birthday, after spending nearly three years with Qimir, you finally decide to reveal your secret to him. And from that moment, your relationship with him will never be the same again.

Status: finished writing this fic! (It will end in Episode 14)

A/N : As mentioned, This fan fiction mixes elements from two universes, so some details might not match canon perfectly. I’ve made adjustments but will try to keep key canon elements intact. I hope you read this for enjoyment, not to nitpick details.

ps. Writing smut in English is rather demanding for me. I hope you can forgive any mistakes in this EP. I’ve done my best 😭

➡  Intro // EP : 1 // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 13 // EP : 14 (Completed)

Special OS : Phantom Thread

[Episodes 6] Four things cannot be hidden—love, smoke, a pillar of fire and a man striding across the open bled.

On your twentieth birthday, after spending three years with Qimir, you finally decide to reveal your secret to him.

There is no point in hiding it any longer, especially after he has already seen something he shouldn’t have on that ship. Besides, you no longer wish to conceal it. That near-death experience has changed your perspective—not just on your own feelings but also on the visions that have surfaced from deep within your subconscious. Through the fog of time, you sense profound changes—both in the future paths and in the bond between you and him.

A bond you never wanted to form. Feelings you wish to deny. But no matter how hard you try, in the end, you can’t escape it.

Sometimes, fate has a strange way of twisting things—you can’t help but think that when you recall your first meeting. You hated Qimir with all the intensity of your feelings. You couldn’t stand him. There were moments you even plotted his death, planning to flee far away. But who would have thought that three years later, you’d find yourself lying in his arms on a small bed in a rundown hotel near the Starports on Olega, far removed from the bloody events on Tatooine.

You are uncertain if it can even be called love. But one thing is certain: Qimir's presence changes your life forever. He changes you. You change him. And you have no idea if it is for better or worse.

Resting your head on Qimir's chest, you let his large hand caress your back. It's strange how safe you feel with him, despite having witnessed him kill so many people.

But it's not just you who feels this way. Qimir doesn't seem to fear you either. His words are blunt and direct when he finally asks about what he's seen. "I saw what you did—you control people with just your words," Qimir says. "What exactly are you? A member of some witch's coven?"

He turns on his side, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, holding you close as if to comfort you from the terrifying events that have unfolded earlier. Yet at the same time, it is clear he intends to keep you there, preventing you from leaving until you answer his question honestly.

You know Qimir’s intent, but do not push back. You remain silent for a moment before replying.

"It is an ancient technique passed down by my people," you confess, feeling as though you are revealing a terrible sin to some forgotten god. "We use our voice to command others, bending their will to our desires." You pause before adding, "And no, I am not part of any witch’s coven. My mother said those covens are nothing but lowly imitators, trying to replicate what we truly are."

"Your people? What do you mean?" Qimir frowns, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. A wave of unease washes over you as you realize that the moment of truth is finally upon you.

“I am Bene Gesserit.”

Bene Gesserit—those words, foreign to most in this age, are known only to a select few who have studied ancient history.

According to old records, before the rise of the Jedi Order, the Bene Gesserit was a powerful religious order that held great power throughout the galaxy, known as the Sisterhood. They only accepted women deemed worthy into their ranks.

It is said that the Bene Gesserit were the true originators of the Force, passing down their teachings through generations. The Bene Gesserit sisters possessed mysterious powers and physical capabilities far beyond the reach of ordinary people. They could neutralize poisons within their own bodies, control others with the power of the voice, and train their minds and bodies to heights that defied natural limits. Some could even glimpse into the future with an eerie sense of prophecy, though only fragments of what was to come—except for the Reverend Mothers who led the order. They alone held the power to peer through the memories of their ancestors, journeying through the past, present, and distant future.

And it was this obsession with the visions they received that drove their beliefs. The Bene Gesserit were convinced that the universe was heading toward destruction, haunted by the prospect of a terrible future. Their only solution was to guide human evolution to its pinnacle through meticulous breeding programs that spanned generations. They strengthened their power by sending their sisters to marry and breed with the ruling houses of various planets, integrating themselves into the political and religious structures, and influencing every layer of society, from the lowest to the highest ranks—all for one ultimate goal: the creation of the Kwisatz Haderach, a superior human who transcended all others.

Yet ironically, it was the Kwisatz Haderach himself who brought about the very doom of the universe, which the Bene Gesserit had feared and attempted to avoid all along.

The Bene Gesserit succeeded in creating the Kwisatz Haderach as intended, but they utterly failed to control him. Paul Atreides, the only son of Duke Leto Atreides and Lady Jessica of the Atreides, a Bene Gesserit sister, became a religious icon before he reached twenty. He was revered as the Lisan al Gaib—Voice from the Outer World—and was worshiped as a godhead. He led the Fremen, the ancient people of Arrakis, in a jihad that spread across the galaxy. Tens of millions perished in the holy war, and hundreds of millions more during the tyrannical rule of the Kwisatz Haderach’s own son.

Eventually, the Kwisatz Haderach's dynasty was annihilated by the vengeful masses, and the universe slowly began to heal, giving rise to numerous new sects, including the Jedi Order.

The Bene Gesserit were said to have vanished during this time, and rumors of their demise were widespread. Some claimed that the Kwisatz Haderach, driven by his hatred for the Sisterhood, had eradicated them entirely, while others believed they were blamed for the jihad and were hunted down by the vengeful populace.

Regardless of the cause, the true reason for the destruction of the Bene Gesserit was their overwhelming power and the mysterious goals they pursued. It was decided that the Bene Gesserit witches should no longer exist in the universe, as no one wanted to risk the emergence of a second Kwisatz Haderach.

For thousands of years, you have been the last Bene Gesserit. Although your skills and powers are far weaker than those of your ancestors due to a lack of proper training, you still surpass both Jedi and Sith. Your power is the source of the Force they wield—an ancient power that none can fully replicate unless they are also Bene Gesserit.

“I am not only a Bene Gesserit; I am also a Fremen,” you reveal, deciding to share another layer of your secret with him. You point to your deep blue eyes, the eyes of Ibad, the distinct mark of your ancient race, now long extinct along with the Bene Gesserit. “My Fremen name is Hara[1], a name known only to my mother."

You are surprised at yourself for disclosing your Fremen name to him. For the Fremen, a tribal name carries deep meaning and significance, given only to those who can be trusted completely.

However, you feel a sense of relief after finally speaking, though it's not complete. There are still secrets you haven’t shared with him, but revealing this much is already more than enough. You trust Qimir, but you are unsure how much of this truth he can truly accept. Deep down, you are terrified he might see you as a monster, shun you, or worse, decide to eliminate you like others might. Your very existence might be too dangerous to allow you to survive.

But Qimir says nothing. He appears deep in thought, his expression unreadable. You can’t discern his feelings, and the silence grows unbearable. Finally, you ask, 'Do you fear me now that you know who I am?'"

As the words leave your mouth, you bite your lip unconsciously while waiting for his reply, worry gnawing at you. How strange it is to be afraid of his rejection more than your own death."

"Fear?" Qimir tilts his head, puzzled by your question for a moment. Seeing your distressed expression, he quickly grasps your concern. "I have no reason to fear you," he says, stepping closer to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, then the tip of your nose. "I do not fear you," he emphasizes, sealing his words with a firm kiss on your lips.

You let Qimir kiss you a little longer. When he finally gives you a chance to catch your breath, you ask, 'Even though I am dangerous?' Your voice is barely a whisper, filled with uncertainty.

Everything feels too perfect and too smooth, and instead of providing reassurance, it only makes you feel more uneasy.

Qimir smiles widely, almost as if he wants to laugh but is holding it back. "Oh, in that case, it’s me you should fear more." He teases, his tone playful, as he resumes kissing you. Not on your lips, but now on your ear, nibbling playfully, while one of his hands moves up to your breast, caressing and teasing your nipple through the fabric with his thumb.

Your eyes widen as you realize what is about to happen. You grab Qimir’s arm, quickly halting his mischievous actions before things can go any further. “Qimir,” you call out his name, your heart pounding, your voice faltering with each shaky breath.

Qimir stops immediately, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. You see the clear reflection of desire in his dark eyes. “Don’t want to?” he asks, his voice carrying a hint of pleading, though the playful smirk at the corner of his mouth suggests something more sly, as if he knows every thought in your mind without reading it, knowing that you won’t refuse.

His knowing demeanor makes you feel annoyed, but there is little you can do. In a situation like this, you are at a disadvantage in nearly every way.

“Well, I…” You try to speak but hesitate for a moment, your cheeks burning hot as if set aflame. You don’t know how to explain it to him without making yourself feel even more embarrassed. “I don’t know how... I’ve never... you understand, right?”

That isn’t entirely true. Even though you have never been intimate with anyone, you aren’t that naive. As a Bene Gesserit, you can see the past through ancestral memories, which sometimes bring you glimpses of things you shouldn’t see, intruding into your dreams. But dreams and reality are entirely different. You feel out of place, unsure of what to do, like someone who has read extensively but fails when it comes to practical application.

Qimir lets out a clear laugh, his sly smile shifting to one of genuine amusement, making you blush even more. Before you can protest, he seizes the moment and silences you with a kiss.

This time, though, it feels different.

Never before has a kiss between you two felt so deep and intense. His lips and tongue are sharp and distinct as they invade, filled with a potent desire that permeates every touch, burning with unwavering purpose, as if he wants to touch the very core of your being, reaching the true self you have never revealed to anyone.

When he finally pulls back, he doesn’t move far. His mouth lingers on your lips, and his hands gently cradle your cheeks. “Relax, don’t be afraid,” Qimir whispers, his lips trailing to your neck, feeling the rapid pulse beneath your skin, then moving down to your chest. “I told you before, you don’t need to hide yourself when you’re with me.” His voice is soft, almost dreamlike, but every touch is real.

You follow his lead, as if under a spell, letting him undress you without resistance. His large hands roam over every part of your soft skin, planting kisses along the curves of your body, from your shoulders down to your hips, and finally to the inside of your thighs. His dark eyes examine your naked form without looking away, not missing a single detail, taking in every perfection and flaw—nothing hidden, nothing concealed.

“I want you to feel every emotion within you—anger, fear, and desire…” The word ‘desire’ from Qimir’s lips was as sweet as honey. “Embrace who you truly are, what you can be, and what you can do when you’re with me—only with me.”

You flinch as his fingertips brush against your delicate folds before sliding inside you. You can feel every knuckle as he slowly works his way deeper, one finger becoming two, gently stretching you as he allows you to grow accustomed to the sensation. He then begins to move them slowly, his thumb rubbing your bud, massaging every sensitive spot inside and out, sending shivers of unfamiliar pleasure through your body.

Waves of strange, stinging bliss ripple across your skin, making you restless as you writhe in the throes of sharp delight. But his other hand presses firmly on your lower abdomen, forcing you to stay still.

“Be a good girl,” Qimir admonishes, a grin tugging at his lips, clearly enjoying watching you struggle helplessly beneath him.

You moan, burying your face in the pillow, your entire body trembling with the intensity of your climax, making you feel like you are floating in a sea of stars. After catching your breath for a moment, you look up to see Qimir hastily removing his own clothes. His skin is pale, his body sculpted with lean, defined muscles, as beautiful as a statue in a temple. But what sets him apart are the scars, some small, some large, like cracks in marble. Yet these imperfections only make him more striking, unique, and beautiful.

Qimir turns to look at you, fully aware that you have been watching him the entire time. His face softens in the dim light, but his eyes remain dark. You sense the intense longing within them—a desire he’s harbored for a long time. You wonder why you never noticed the fragile restraint in him until now. He seems on the verge of snapping, as if he’s been wound too tight, ready to unravel at any moment.

Qimir wastes no time, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close until there’s no space left between you and him. His hardness presses firmly against the crevice of your thighs, the heat spreading through your body as his cock gradually sinks into your swollen slit, filling you completely.

A low moan escapes his lips, soft and barely audible. Qimir pauses briefly, giving you a chance to catch your breath and adjust. As he takes a moment to relish the closeness, he revels in the warmth of your tight, slick, silky walls that embrace his length perfectly.

"It might hurt at first, but it’ll get better soon. Just bear with it," he murmurs, his hand gently stroking your hair. He plants a warm kiss on your cheek, trying to comfort you as your face contorts with pain. It feels like he’s about to tear you apart as he pushes in fully. You lock eyes with him in shock as a flood of emotions washes over you—strange, frightening, painful, and thrilling all at once.

Your lips part, letting out a silent moan as Qimir begins to move, thrusting in to the hilt until you can feel every inch of him deep within you. He brushes away a stray lock of black hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. His lips press a kiss to your sweat-dampened temple as his hips thrust forward, quickening the pace. Your soft inner walls tighten, clenching around him as his tip repeatedly hits your sweet spot.

By now, the pain has subsided, replaced by waves of pleasure building inside you, ready to explode.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you grip Qimir's shoulders as if your life depends on his mercy. Your hips rise to meet his movements, every fiber of your being striving to get closer to him, nearly melding into one.

The rhythm changes slightly, slowing down and becoming less steady but more forceful. You pant heavily, feeling the climax approaching, each movement bringing you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Just a few more thrusts, and you both reach the peak together. He spills into you, his release filling you up and spilling over. The hot, wet feeling of his cum makes your body shiver and feel dizzy, still unaccustomed to these new sensations.

The room gradually returns to calm. When Qimir pulls away, your body suddenly feels light and empty, like weightless cotton. You drift in the calm afterglow, enveloped in his embrace as he nuzzles you, kisses your cheeks and forehead, and caresses your hair tenderly, just as lovers do."

But there are no words of 'love' from his lips. The last thing you hear from Qimir before slipping into sleep is, 'You’re no longer alone. You belong to me.”

Instead of feeling reassured by these words, a strange unease flickers through your mind, as if you've just stepped onto a path of grave mistake.

Footnotes:

[1] In Fremen culture (as depicted in the film Dune), Fremen names are special names that differ from regular ones, only shared with outsiders when there’s deep trust and acceptance. For example, Chani tells Paul her Fremen name, 'Sihaya,' as a sign of accepting him as a lover. That’s why the reader needs a Fremen name—it’s culturally important (and I certainly WILL NOT USE Y/N as a Fremen name, absolutely no way!). I’ve hinted at this name since EP : I (if you pay attention, you’ll notice it), and it ties into the story, so I hope you're okay with the name I picked.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Where All This Love Comes From

I'm so excited to share what has been known as Flashback Fic! 107k words, with all 14 chapters here on Ao3, rated E.

Six months after Gabriel Reyes’ death, TK grows concerned about Carlos’ drinking and brings him to a meeting at the Y. Afterwards, over omelets at the diner, the husbands open up to each other. TK reflects on meeting Carlos after years of addiction and self-destruction, while Carlos has continued to seek closure by uncovering two unknowns: The identity of his father’s killer, and how his father truly felt about Carlos as his son.

************************************************

Carlos puts his arms around him from behind and holds him still, kissing his neck. TK tries to twist in Carlos’ grip, but he won’t let him. He starts walking him towards the bedroom. “I’m desperate for you,” TK says, his blood hot, cheeks red, eyes pricking with tears. “I know.” “Make me forget everything.” “I will.” “I only want to think about you.” “You will.” Carlos stops for a breath. He smells TK – his clean hair, his evanesced cologne, his natural man scent, his salty tears that have imbued his skin, the sweat of stress. Sad, but still beautiful to Carlos. TK, delicious. “I never thought I’d have you. I never thought–” he can’t speak anymore.

***********************************************

Chapter 1: A Trail to Follow

In 2023, TK discovers something that triggers memories of heroin withdrawal seven years before – and Carlos makes amends with Gutiérrez after accusing him of his father’s murder.

Chapter 2: A Very Nice Sweater for the 'Y'

TK takes Carlos to the N.A. meeting – but when things don’t go as hoped, he instigates another method to get Carlos talking.  

Chapter 3: Snowballing

A messy situation in 2010 causes TK as a high school junior to lash out. In 2023, Carlos realizes it's time to tell TK about one more secret. 

Chapter 4: Original Sin

In 2013, Carlos accidentally destroys Gabriel’s oldest friendship. Nine years later, he attempts to make peace after he and TK get engaged.

Chapter 5: Between Two Bridges

In 2022, a grieving and struggling TK is compelled to talk to Owen about his 2020 overdose, which leads him to remember when his addiction nearly killed him years before. In 2023, TK asks Carlos about his history with alcohol. (Note: Chapter features TK using and gets fairly graphic)

Chapter 6: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor

TK and Carlos compare notes on when they first came out – with Carlos spiraling in 2011 after an unexpected outburst, while TK in 2008 is embraced (and embarrassed) by his parents. In 2021, both handle the raw days of their breakup differently too.

Chapter 7: A Boy's Best Friend

In 2009, Gabriel attempts to connect with his increasingly distant and unhappy teenage son. In 2013, the fallout of Carlos leaving Iris has begun, and he knows his relationship with his parents will never be the same. In 2023, TK tries to talk to Gabriel about the bombshell revelation that Carlos doesn’t want kids.

Chapter 8: Your Heart, As If It Was My Very Own

In 2011, TK is left bewildered after he loses his virginity. Years later, with Carlos, TK's mind (among other things) is blown in a whole new way. In 2022, TK has an important conversation with a certain visitor when he wakes from his coma.

Chapter 9: Coffee with Gutiérrez

In September 2023, Carlos seeks an important but painful truth from Gutiérrez, and finds an unexpected ally within the 126. Two months later in Blue Moon Diner, TK gets ready to tell Carlos more about his past in New York.

Chapter 10: The Day Begins Like Any Other

In 2016, after TK experiences an assault and sees an old friend again under devastating circumstances, he makes a life-altering decision when his dealer suggests he try something new. In 2009, TK is attacked at school. (Note: Please heed the tags and the chapter note. Reader discretion advised. Look after your hearts).

Chapter 11: Lonely as a Sparrow in the Rain

When Carlos confesses to TK about where he went with Judd back in September – and why – TK has to tell Carlos something he won't want to hear. In 2014, a rift develops when Carlos shows off his new Camaro to his parents.

Chapter 12: Happy For You, Son

Before moving to Austin, TK falls out with his parents over his relationship with Alex. In December 2020, it's a different story as Carlos hosts Owen and Gwyn for TK's birthday meal. In 2012, Carlos has some unexpected news for his own parents, but Michelle tries to intervene. When TK and Carlos get engaged a decade later, Gabriel has something to say about it.

Chapter 13: The Risk of Love

In May 2023, Owen and TK save a spiraling Carlos from making the biggest mistake of his life when he thinks he’s found his father’s killer. In 2020, TK and Carlos become boyfriends beneath a sky full of aurora borealis.

Chapter 14: A Night Worth Celebrating

On a rainy night in 2020, TK and Carlos meet for the first time. In 2023, weeks after their big talk at Blue Moon, TK celebrates his thirtieth birthday with his husband, their family and their friends by his side – and Carlos is a little bit better at sharing his secrets.

Read on A03

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Would Hit With My Car

(I don't have a licence and can't drive so this is just for fun OBVIOUSLY)

LISTEN, I love these characters. They are complex, they are human, they are flawed and yet you can't help but root for them. Or they are just giant assholes.

Regadless, I think they would all benefit from getting hit by a car as a little treat.

Feel free to tag yourselves and participate in a bit of lighthearted negativity and media complaining.

1) Ben From Never Let Me Go (2022)

Of course he would be on this list. Mainly because how are you, a closeted gay in a coming of age bl drama, sitting down in front of a piano next to a beautiful boy and not just completely eat his face in a passionate life altering kiss? I understand that was the whole point of the scene, but personally I would rise above the narrative that was trapping me.

2) Dan from Not Me (2021)

Being a cop, killing Sean's father and selling NFTs is bad enough on it's own, I agree. But Dan's biggest sin was taking the cigarette out of Yok's mouth and depriving us of seeing sad First Kanaphan smoking near a body of water-THE queer cinema experience.

As it turns out, you can be gay and homophobic at the same time.

3) Kenji from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

So you have funky hair and kawnty fashion sense? Oh, you partake in fun bathtub threesomes? What, you're a little unhinged and psychotic? Perfect! THEN WHY THE HELL YOU SUCK AT BEING A VILLAIN SO HARD HUH???

Kenji you better put your helmet on, I'm turning on the engine.

4) Kanghan from Dangerous Romance (2023)

Rich people don't deserve rights in general so Kang was already on thin ice to begin with. But being a bully on top of that? UNDER THE HOOD OF THE CAR YOU GO!

Also he is so attention starved on account of his father being a negligent asshole that he will jump in front of my car willingly just to get a drop of love from dad and Sailom.

5) Yu Xi Gu from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

(I'm so so incredibly sorry but I HAD to okay you don't underst- *gets shot immediately*)

6) Mork from Fish Upon The Sky (2021)

I looked at Pond for 0.1 second and fell so embarrasingly in love that for the entirety of FUTS I saw no flaws in Mork's character at all. All he did made sense and I was blissfuly having a great time! So I'm pummeling him to the ground for my own sake I CAN'T KEEP BEING THIS STUPID ABOUT HIM HE IS OBJECTIVELY CREEPY!

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

Was he in my "I want them carnally" list? Yes. Do I find him beautiful and incredible? Double yes. Am I smearing him on asphalt like a squished bug for causing Mark so much unnecessary pain and heartbreak? More likely than you think.

8) Jiwoo from To My Star/ To My Star 2 (2021-22)

MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!! A crumb of healthy communication is all I'm asking for!

Jiwoo was so emotionally bricked up for the majority of both seasons that it caused ME damage. So me hitting him with my car is both a revenge plot and an attempt to let loose some of those pent up feelings of his.

(But also I'm dead meat if Seojoon finds out it was me behind the wheel. He loves that boy too much.)

9) Zee from Twins (2023-24)

I'm volunteering to do this as public service to keep Sprite and First together without any twins switch drama. One gremlin down, one successful volleyball couple UP!!

10) Winner from Pit Babe (2023-24)

I want to do it as an experiment. I feel like he would make a funny sound under the wheels, like when you sqeeze clown's nose or step on a rubber duck. I would also like to see how this will affect his character. Will he become even more annoying? Will it fix him completely? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!!

(This was so fun I love inflicting imaginary violence on fictional men. If you read this far into this incoherent insanity, consider yourself tagged!💖)

[wooyoong]

🧸 freya's recent bts reads (& recs)

disclaimer : there's atleast one fic for each member, but i am yet to widen my spectrum, so you will find less vmin + jin fics. that also doesn't mean i don't like reading them, lol.

note : fic titles labelled with a * mark are series. minors please stay away, strictly. almost all fics here are 18+ !!

— also, i am @sugarwithtea 😭 incase you wanted to check out my writing blog then.

KIM SEOKJIN

* 9 months to fall in love by @floralseokjin (s2l, accidental pregnancy au, 18+)

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

* For Love & Money by @jimlingss (s2l, forced marriage au)

For love, you foolishly lied to yourself. For money, you married a stranger.

MIN YOONGI

* Till Death Do Us Part by @colormepurplex2 (e2l, arranged marriage au, mafia au, 18+)

Marital bliss isn't always a guarantee, especially when you find yourself marrying into the family responsible for your own family's demise. Sometimes, marriage is just a game of kill or be killed. Even when there is love involved, bullets still hurt.

Sinful Lust by @oddinary4bts (ft. jungkook, threesome au, 18+)

in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...

* The Truth Between Us by @jimlingss and @gukyi (e2l, multiple aus, 18+)

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

* Playing With Fire by @/chanyeolly (ao3) (e2l, idol au, 18+)

Yoongi hates you. Or at least, he thinks he does.

AKA

Y/N works for BigHit and Yoongi is bad at dealing with his feelings.

JUNG HOSEOK

Brevity (But Most Often Not) by @threeletterslife (ft. jimin, s2?, psychopath hoseok)

All your life, you've been with guys who didn't bother to read the news or appreciate the art form of journalism. But Hoseok... Even the way he carefully chooses his words is a sign that you and he are a match. If only he weren't in a dilapidating psychiatric hospital. Then maybe you'd have a proper boyfriend who treated you right for once.

* Arranged by @obiwrites (ao3) (arranged marriage au, 18+)

If you thought entering an arranged marriage with the person you love would be a dream, you were in for a rude awakening. Jung Hoseok was far from the doting husband you’d dreamed of and most of it could be chalked up to the fact that he was in love with his best friend. And you are without a shadow of a doubt, not her.

But what happens when Hoseok starts to realize he doesn’t want you to be her? That there might be more than meets the eye with you?

Fake Love by @aquaminwrites (e2l, fake dating au, 18+)

Every year, your family spends the holidays at your parents’ cottage in the country. Freshly single and not wanting to be picked apart by your family for being alone, you decide to recruit one of your friends to pretend to be your boyfriend. The only available volunteer? Your brother Namjoon’s roommate, Hoseok. Only problem? He absolutely hates your guts.

* Jungle Park by @jimlingss (coworker au, amnesia au)

The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

KIM NAMJOON

Not Another Holiday Romance by @kpopfanfictrash (s2l, one night stand au, holiday au, 18+)

You, a perpetually alone (and utterly cynical) movie director, are sent to the town of Snow Falls, Middle-of-Nowhere for your latest film assignment. Stuck in holiday hell until the new year, you’re determined to get in and get out with minimal damage to your Grinch reputation. That is, until a ridiculously gorgeous (and young?!) town historian is assigned to help with your film. Suddenly, you find yourself the heroine of one of those corny romances you direct – and are discovering they might not be so corny after all.

* My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold by @daechwitatamic (r2l, college au, 18+)

You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love. 

The Wedding Arrangement by @/sugalights (ao3) / @sugaurora (s2e2l, fwb au, 18+)

You are in love with your best friend, the only man who matters, Kim Seokjin.

Unfortunately, he's just gotten engaged to someone who isn’t you. Even more unfortunately, he expects you to help plan the wedding alongside Kim Namjoon, his other best friend and, based on your first meeting, just another judgemental jerk.

Putting aside your distaste for the sake of your friend’s happiness, you both set about giving Seokjin the wedding of his dreams. Following a rough and satisfying affair at the caterer’s, you strike an unusual deal: you and Namjoon will be enemies with benefits until the wedding is over. And after six months of wedding planning, you both just might learn that weddings aren’t usually the end, but a brand new beginning.

PARK JIMIN

* Maybe Me by @jiminrings (single dad au, s2l)

summary: maybe it’s stupid of jimin to take on everything at once, all by himself. maybe it’s rash of him to book a long-term stay at a luxury hotel, even if it comes with a family discount. but maybe, just maybe, jimin would have nothing to lose and everything to gain if he lets you in.

KIM TAEHYUNG

Always the Bridesmaid by @kookingtae (e2l, holiday au, 18+)

When you first meet Kim Taehyung, you’re determined to find every reason you can to hate him—or maybe he’s just looking for ways to get on your last nerve. But when a turn of events has the two of you working the wedding of the man you’re hopelessly in love with, you’re too late to realize the real reason to hate Kim Taehyung is because of the latest column he’s secretly writing: “Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride”, and it’s all about you.

JEON JUNGKOOK

* Take A Chance by @crystaljins (hanahaki au, coworker au)

You should have known the second your business partner asked you to plan his best friend’s wedding as a favour that it was going to be nothing but trouble. Especially when it turns out he’s in love with said best friend. And dying of a deadly disease because of it.

on the road (to you) by @cupofteaguk (f2l, road trip au)

as a young adult, one of the strangest revelations is the discovery that peers of yours from past fragile college years are getting married. so imagine your shock and excitement upon receiving a wedding invitation. there are, however, two problems: (1) you are a poor early-20s recently employed adult just beginning to adjust to your 401k plan, and (2) the only available ride to the wedding comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook—friend of a friend, attendee to that aforementioned wedding, and your old college crush. 

Sinful Lust by @oddinary4bts (ft. yoongi, threesome au, 18+)

in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...

Accidental Roommates by @jjkeverlast (r2l, single dad au, 18+)

moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace.

yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate.

Rivers Over Stones by @ichorai (e2l, godparents au, 18+)

you hated jungkook the minute you laid eyes on him. the only reason why he was still in your life was because you both shared a goddaughter, hana. but everything changed unexpectedly when the two of you become her caretakers and you’re forced to live under the same roof. suddenly, you find yourself hating him just a bit less. or more, but who’s keeping track?

* Ego by @suga-kookiemonster (s2l, fwb au, 18+)

what’s a girl to do when her sweet, innocent baby lab partner isn’t quite so sweet and innocent? well, he’s a grown-ass man, and you’re about to learn that the hard way.

🧸 given that a lot of authors are not active, please don't misuse their content! all rights reserved by the respective authors!!

— a bit of these have not been completed by me, leading to no feedback yet but i know these are good haha!

[passionateseadruid]

Snake king’s bride 9

No sympathy for the Devil

Notes:

WARNING!! SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD! TALKS OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTER CHAPTER 7

It was a cold day in hell. Sinsmas. The actual day, Christmas for the folks up on earth. And here you were in bed alone.

"Hey! It's Lucifer! Can we talk? I brought Pancakes!" Lucifer knocked outside the door. You got up and opened the door to your room. "Hi… I wanna talk about what happened after your family’s party."

"There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing happened." You denied.

"Come on, you can't just bottle up your emotions like that! I made a huge mistake, I thought all this time if I could just shower you in love and intimacy you'd love me. But you cried that night." You listened to him ramble. You took the plate and motioned him to follow you into the room.

"Close the door." You instructed and he followed. "Why do you love me Lucifer?"

"I don't know."

"You're a bad person." You tell him as you sit on your bed and started to eat the pancakes.

"I know. I'm sorry. By the time I realized that my last ditch effort couldn't make you fall in love with me it was too late."

"Is that why you ran out in the middle of sex and didn't come back the next morning."

"Yeah. Was there something, anything, that I could have done to make it better?" He knelt on one knee in front of you.

"Not doing it at all." 

"Well, unfortunately we're past that point darling."

"You know, you're really sick in the head. You coerced me into sex, took my virginity, and you didn't have the decency to clean me up, or even stay with me. Then you come back days after the fact and try to worm your way into my life.

"That's not a fair representation of what happened that night. I kissed you sure, but you were the one who brought me to the bed."

"As you were groping me, shoving your tongue down my throat, and telling me how much you needed me carnally."

"I never wanted to hurt you. The fact that I have hurts me so much more than you could ever realize."

"No no, don't turn this on me. What could I have said? You had the power in that situation. You threatened to kill my family."

"Your dad shot me! And your mom scarred me with holy water!"

"Firstly the bullet bounced off your skin and shattered, and secondly can you blame my mom? You're literally the Devil."

"That's besides the point. Up until that night when have I ever intentionally done anything to hurt you?"

"Well you literally kidnapped me. You're holding me hostage. You've been trying to force me to marry you since the moment we met. You've made several sexual advances on me since then. You threatened my family at the Halloween party. And on top of all of that you're constantly comparing me to Lilith which just makes me feel so shitty about myself."

"Wow, I've been so shitty to you. Are you okay? It feels like you should have tried to run away by now."

"Some days you really make me want to."

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Oo! You can start by eliminating the discrimination against Imps and Hellhounds. Then you can give Styx, Renesmee, Nina, and Pluto Raises, and more paid vacations, more vacation time overall. I get to see my family and friends whenever I want. I also want to see a therapist. And finally I want to go to the other rings and see how the other Sins treat their citizens."

"Wow, that's… a lot."

"After everything you've done to me, this should be the bare minimum." You stood up and walked past him.

"But I never meant to hurt you!" He shot up to follow you. 

"But you did! You try to justify and ignore everything you do! You never take accountability for what you've done! You didn't mean to hurt me! Bit you did! Oh, but I was the one who instigated sex. But you were the one who implied that's what we'd be heading to that night. And I couldn't protest to it because you held the power! You were the one who made the conditions of our deal! I didn't have any room to argue!"

"IM SORRY OKAY?!" He reached out to you but you pulled out of his reach, leaving him to fall onto the floor. He curled into himself on his knees. "IM SORRY! IM SO SORRY!!" He sobbed. "I thought I was doing what you wanted. I was trying to do what you wanted that night! You kissed me back, remember? You grabbed onto me and you led me to my room. I have not been able to sleep in that bed since that night! I have hardly been able to look at you since you started to cry that night. The fear in your eyes, the pain, the utter despair on your face is burned into my brain. I am constantly thinking about how badly I hurt you. And if I have to burn down all of Heaven and Hell to get you to forgive me I will."

"Good. Because I will have no sympathy for the Devil."

[vibratingskull]

Yandere Thrawn x F!reader chapter 14

Yandere AU - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

Tags : Yandere behaviors (duh), gaslighting, delusions, nightmare, manipulation, drug use

You wake up with a gasp. You tremble on the bed as you struggle to breathe. Your heart pounds in your chest like it would burst through. You rise on your elbow to help stabilize your erratic breathing, tears behind your eyes. 

They were here! Circling you with hunger in their eyes... Hunger to kill. Hunger for blood... Hunger to hurt. They stood taller than you, baring their teeth to you until one threw the first punch to your face. 

And now you are on the verge of a panic attack. 

You sniff, realizing nothing came to pull you back on the mattress and press itself against your back. Thrawn isn’t in bed with you. He must have left when you were deeply sleeping, someone must have called him on the bridge. 

You do not know if that comforts you or distraught you more... 

You look around the dark room. It is always so cold in here, but Thrawn’s body is so warm... You shake your head. You still have so much difficulty processing what is happening in your life lately. 

Your assaults, Thrawn unpredictable reactions, his... “treatment” for your problem, his soft caresses and terrifying red eyes... You feel on the verge of a precipice all the time. 

Your mind also always seems so... cloudy, so cluttered. It feels hard just to think with a clear head, you only hear white noises in your head, preventing you from thinking straight. 

You snigger. You remember Thrawn planning to use a drug with those effects to weaken enemies by infiltrating their air vents with small droid modules. He even bought stocks, and put them in the hangars, ready to be sent to the enemies. But it never happened in the end, they crumbled way before he had the occasion to test the drug...

Now that you think about it, you don’t even know what happened to this immense stock of tangerine powder on the Chimaera. He bought it a little fortune and didn't even get to witness his plan into action. You almost expected him to pout a little with disappointment. 

But he kept his expression cold and stern, as always. 

On your hand, this inconvenience is due to the hits you received to your head and skull. Thrawn gave you a rundown of your symptoms and medical consequences, your brain wasn’t damaged, simply... shaken. 

Not only your brain was shaken but your mind as well! Because... 

Since that day in the bath, since the day he touched you so... intimately you are plagued with dreams. 

Sinful dreams. 

You hate to admit it but you dreamed several times of his touch on you, of his long and skillful fingers dancing on your skin, entering you deep and well and... 

You shake your head, chasing the lewd thoughts away, you are so confused lately. No need to add pining and sexual tension to all that mess... Especially since you can’t decide if they are dreams or nightmares, everything is so confusing... 

You sigh, your head in your hand. Slowly, sneakily, the memories of your nightmare push forward to the forefront of your mind, making you shiver. 

You turn to your bedside table to light the bedside lamp. Your hand falls on the naked furniture, empty under the light. Where is your sketchbook? You are confident you left it on the bedside table... 

Did you leave it in the living room? You grumble, leaving the bed clumsily and inelegantly jumping towards the door. Damned cast! 

The door slides open, revealing Thrawn slouching on the sofa, sipping a cup of caff and leafing through your sketchbook under a little light, leaving the rest of the room in complete darkness. He raises his head at the sound of the door, his eyes catching your form on precarious balance, leaning against the doorframe. 

You look back at him, your conflicted emotions and sentiments washing over you once again as you lay your eyes on him. Each time he enters your field of vision, lewd memories come swarming you, drying your mouth, putting you on edge. 

Terrifying you and exciting you at the same time. 

“Is there a problem, Ch’acah?” Thrawn asks softly, setting your book on the tea table to stand on his feet, ready to access any of your demands. “I was searching for my sketchbook.” You explain. “At this hour?” He tilts his head with a light grin. 

You purse your lips. Until now he always asked permission to look into your book. He never just took it while your back was turned. It displeases you... 

“I want it.” You curtly respond. 

You think you see his hands rolling into fists for a split second before seizing the book and coming to you. He hands it to you and you harshly take it from him, pressing it against your chest in a soothing manner. 

He doesn’t formalize himself, his red eyes narrowing slightly. “What is wrong, Ch’acah?” He asks low and gently, “Why are you awake at this hour of the night?”, “Why are YOU awake?” you respond deadpan, “I am not in remission.” He counters, “Speak to me.” 

You gulp, your nightmare is still vivid in your head, and the memory of his caresses is still on your skin. You dig your nails into the cover of the book, lowering your head, “I just had a nightmare.” 

Thrawn unclasps his hands behind his back, one of them coming to gently tilt your head up, forcing you to look at him, “Tell me about it.” He invites. “There is nothing to say, really. Do not bother with it.” you try to cut the conversation short. 

He inhales deeply, detailing your face with his blazing gaze. “You can tell me everything, Ch’acah.”, “Its... It’s stupid. You have more important matters to take care of.”, “Not at all. Whatever you might have weighing on your heart, I can bear it. You can confide in me.” His hold on your chin releases to cup your cheek in his warm palm. You remain silent. 

Before your mutism, he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up bridal style. For a split second you are terrified he will bring you to bed with him for another... “treatment” session. But he heads toward the couch. Instead of making you sit on the sofa, he sits down and places you on his lap. You shudder once, slightly on edge. 

He caresses a strand of hair behind your ear with the tip of his fingers and presses you against himself, “Tell me everything.” He reiterates, caressing your hair tenderly. 

You dig your nails in your shorts. Words disappear in your throat, getting lost before reaching your lips. He patiently awaits, caressing you softly, pressing his cheek against the top of your head, holding you tight but also delicately, like he was afraid you would explode if he squeezed too much... 

“I dreamed about... my assault.” You start, “They were all around me, I had nowhere to escape.” He hums in response, signaling that he is listening to you, letting you speak at your own pace. 

You are so confused, by everything. By Thrawn, by your own mind, by your entire life that seemed to have completely derailed... You gasp, a single tremor shaking your body. “I am so afraid...”, “It is perfectly natural.” Thrawn validates you, “You lived through a very traumatic moment, it is not at all surprising. You need time and isolation to build yourself back up. You need protection and care.” 

“Did you find the culprits?” you ask with a little voice, “I did.” he confirms, kissing the top of your head. “What was their sentence?”, “There was none.” He lets you know. 

You part from him, incredulity in your eyes, “What...?” 

Thrawn’s knuckles come grazing your cheek as he devours you with his gaze. “They think I did not bust them.” He says, “They think they escaped my watch and are off the hook. I am simply awaiting the best moment to strike.” He grins tightly. 

“Why not just get done with it?” you inquire confused, “They hurt you. They dared to lay their hands on you. They deserve an explementary punishment. I will make them pay, every one of them. One by one.” He promises lowly, his blazing eyes deep into yours, hypnotizing you, “They will not escape justice, Ch’acah. You will be avenged.” 

You blink several times at his words. “Why go so far? Why not just apply the Empire’s sentence?”. He lowly chuckles, amused, as he shakes his head lightly, “Their offense is way too grave. And the sentences will be as dire as their acts.”  

You frown “Are you going to beat them into a pulp?” you investigate, slightly curious, slightly sarcastic. “Would it please you?” he asks seriously. 

You consider him, at a loss for words. What kind of question is that? He presses his forehead against yours, his rubies clear with absolute determination like you always knew him, “Does the idea of me beating them up as they did to you appease you?” he inquires. 

“Thrawn...” You finally utter after several seconds of shock “I was joking. Of course, I do not want that !’’, ‘’Then what do you want?’’ he breathes deeply, red haunting eyes fixed on yours, ‘’I can give you everything.’’ 

‘’I… I just want justice to be executed properly ! I am sure the Empire’s sentences are more than adequate !’’ You explain. He isn’t seriously proposing to catch them all and beat them til he breaks their bones? Is he ?! 

Thrawn considers you in silence, squinting slightly before he pulls your head back in the crook of his muscular neck, “You are too sweet, Ch’acah, too forgiving.’’, ‘’ I did not forgive anything,” you growl “But senseless beating is not justice !’’ 

You feel him brush his cheek on the top of your head with a pleased sigh ‘’Do not worry, Ch’acah. Everything is under my control. Soon, I will serve them justice, do not fret.”, “All right...” you mumble, a little shaken. 

He kisses your head again, caressing your back and naked arm soothingly. 

You prefer him like that... You are still not used to being intimate with him despite his best efforts. Since that time in the tub two weeks ago he didn’t try anything more but he held you tighter at night, giving you kisses freely on your cheeks and forehead while purring subtly.

He kept offering chocolate cake, massaging your sore body, and carrying you around in his arms as he used to. And yes... He kept bathing you... 

He keeps being gentle with you but do not hesitate to kiss your palm and arm when he lathers it up with shower gel and body cream. He tresses your hair in intricate braids, files your nails expertly, and even insists on helping you put on some nail polish. You only let him do your valid hand and you are quite sore to admit he did a better job applying the colorful paint than you did... Ever. 

He keeps helping you to eat sometimes, but you are getting better every day! He keeps dressing you and even helps you brush your teeth when you suddenly get too tired at night. He likes to keep you awake late at night, speaking of everything and absolutely nothing, and wakes you up very early when he has to go to the bridge. In fact, you feel like you are a bit sleep-deprived and have to sleep through the day, only awakening when Thrawn comes back to the suite. 

His stern face illuminates with a tight grin when he sees you after a long day of work, and his eyes shine brighter than usual. You have difficulty seeing his pupils when they shine like that and it illuminates his... gorgeous face beautifully. 

And when he gets... cuddly, you feel more at ease, or at least less tense. He holds you tight in his arms to hug you, peppering kisses on your face or hair, cradling you gently, sharing his body's warmth with you. 

Are you slowly accepting your circumstances? It appears you are... Very slowly, but it is apparently the path you took. 

“You wished to sketch your worries away?” He inquires in a whisper. “Yes.” You admit, “It helps me calm down.”, “Art is a powerful therapeutic tool.” He approves, “Numerous studies proved the benefits of art for patients.” 

He gently lays you down on the sofa and stands up. He lights up the living room with a dim but intimate light and puts on some soft music. You raise an eyebrow, “Is that...?”, “Your favorite band? Indeed. Music helps the creative process.”  

You look at him preparing something in a mug before laying your eyes on your sketchbook...  

What did he see in it? 

You yawn, closing your eyes and making your spine pop satisfyingly. When you reopen your eyes Thrawn lays a fuming cup of hot cocoa with a generous amount of orange whipped cream floating at the surface and a plate of biscuits, each more appetizing than the other. He takes a stylus out of his pocket to hand it to you. 

He sits down next to you, lays a small pillow on his lap, and pats it, looking at you with a small lopsided grin, “Make yourself comfortable.” He invites. 

“On your laps?” you investigate with an embarrassed chuckle. “Why not? We are both awake, you want to draw and I need to look some files up, why not make the most of it?” 

It’s all right... You guess. 

You lay your head on the pillow and Thrawn’s hand comes caressing your cheeks and forehead gently. He looks at you sternly, but his knuckles graze your smooth skin so delicately. You smile a bit, or at least you try, feeling embarrassed to be scrutinized like that. He tilts his head slightly with a short snigger, his thumb fondling your cheekbone. ���Are you good?” He asks. You nod hurriedly, “Wonderful.”  

And his eyes leave your face to turn to the screen of his datapad. His hand, however, remains around your face to give it sweet attention. 

You fold your valid leg up to give support to your sketchbook and start doodling. It is still difficult with only one hand if only to keep the book open. 

You both remain silent for 15 minutes, focused on your respective tasks, but Thrawn never ceases to caress your skin. “Doesn’t the music trouble you?” you ask out of the blue, raising your eyes to him. 

“No, it is all right.” He turns his head down towards you, “I thank you for your concerns, Ch’acah.”  

Ch’acah 

Friend... 

“Ch’acah?” You ask. He hums in response, drawing sweet circles in your skin, “Yes, ch’eo Ch’acah?”, “Do you like it? When I refer to you as such?”  

His eyes lay on you, and for a split second his glance is deadly cold, scrutinizing you like you were a culprit on a crime scene, tenderness in his gaze nowhere to be found. Your eyes round up in surprise and you feel your heart beating faster. 

And as quick as they appeared, the coldness and dark intents disappeared in a warm and comforting red glow, a single chuckle coming to shake his chest, ‘’I love it.’’ He responds, booping your nose playfully.

‘’A-all right…’’ you gulp, unsure of what you just witnessed. He keeps his glance on you, gauging you up and down but keeps on with the soft caresses, ‘’You should drink your chocolate before it gets cold, (Y/n), I added a bit of spice to help you sleep.’’, ‘’You added what ?’’ 

He looks down at you, ‘’It is a therapeutic spice. It helps to soothe and calm down anxiety. It is a perfectly legal spice you can find in any Imperial pharmacy.’’, ‘’Oh… okay.’’ You relax, ‘’I did not know you had therapeutic spices in your suite, are you anxious ?’’ You ask, taking his large hand in yours to gently squeeze it. ‘’Not at all, Ch’acah. I ordered the spice for you, to help you relax and sleep peacefully for your recovery. No need to worry for me.” He brings your hand to his lips to gently kiss it, ‘’Drink and eat a little bit, you will feel better.’’ 

You put your sketchbook down on the tea table to take the fuming cup, full to the brim with whipped cream, you take a sip, only for your nose to dip in the cream with the angle, ‘’Oh !’’ you laugh, ‘’It is snowing !’’ 

Thrawn shakes his head with a snarky smile ‘’Are you not a bit clumsy ?’’. You stick your tongue at him, ‘’Hey ! I only have one hand.’’, ‘’Indeed, I’ll help you eat the cream before your entire face is covered.”  

“No.” You decide, raising in a sitting position with some difficulties, “I will do it myself, admire my technique” You put the cup on the coffee table and take a spoonful of cream to eat it... Only for it to fall on the ground. 

“Maker.” You grouse, “I swear this is a conspiracy!” You try to detach a sheet of paper towel with only one hand and obviously do not succeed. Thrawn seizes the paper towel and swipes the cream himself. 

“I am sorry...” You finally admit after he stood up to throw the paper away. “What for?” He asks coming back to you, “Dirtying up my floor?” He grins. You wince, “Yes.”. He shakes his head, taking the cup full of cream with the spoon, he takes a new spoonful, blows the steam away, and looks back at you with his satisfied little grin. 

“I said no.” You bloke him. He tilts his head squinting, “I think you just prove you could not do it yourself.” You snarl, flashing your teeth, “Can you understand how humiliating it is?” 

“There is absolutely no need to feel humiliated. You simply need a bit of help.”,” Then lets switch places!” You insolently propose. He squints at you, his smile dying, “What do you mean?”, “If there is nothing humiliating you will not object to me feeding you a bit?” You insist.  

See how he likes it when he is on the receiving hand of that treatment! 

He details your face in silence with his signature stern expression... Before chuckling.  

“But of course, Ch’acah. If it eases your dispositions next time I help you eat, I have no objection to eating from your delicate hand.” He seizes the biscuit platter and hands it to you for you to choose one. You gauge him, at a loss for words. Is he serious right now? 

You take one biscuit with some marmalade between two fingers and approach it from his mouth, he very gently takes your hand in his and bites down at its middle, cracking it in two. You gulp at the sight of his long white teeth, longer than human teeth... You feel a weird tension in your neck at their sight, a strange burning sensation spreads from a precise point at the crook of your neck. You roll your shoulder, trying to get rid of the sensation. 

“Do you need a massage?” Thrawn asks, swiping some crumbs off his lips with his thumb. “No... It's just a weird sensation, but it already disappeared.” You reassure him, he looks at you as his lips wrap around your fingers to get the remaining biscuit. 

You gasp in surprise and try to take your hand away but his grip tightens, keeping you there. He sucks on your finger and laps at them, “You are a messy girl, putting marmalade on your fingers like that.” He purrs. He thoroughly licks them clean, keeping you locked in his iron grip. He licks his lips with a satiated expression when he finally releases your hand free. 

You are absolutely boiling from embarrassment while he looks pretty satisfied. He gestures to the plate, “Another one, Ch’acah?” He teases. “...No.” You shake your head, pressing your valid hand on your chest. “A pity.” He lays the plate on the table and takes the cup again, “You have a medicinal hot cocoa to drink, cheo visit.” He remembers you. 

You purse your lips, your taunt failed and he is about to have his way again! You grumble silently before seizing the spoon with cream and lifting it to his mouth. By reflex he moves back, frowning at the creamy treat before relaxing, “This is for you, (Y/n).”, “I know. Just one! To please me.” You coo. His burning gaze travels from the spoon to your honeyed expression before shaking his head too, “The medicine is in the cream.” he explains, “Oh? That’s why it is orange and not white.” you exclaim before pushing it to him again. 

This time you hear a low growl emanating from him. You raise an eyebrow, refusing to back down. “This is to help you sleep.” He explains, “Well, I think you should take some...” You turn your bust toward the chrono of the counter, “It is 2:30, sir. Why were you awake at that hour?” You bite back. 

His nostril flares. “In that case...” and without warning he grabs the back of your head and pulls you to him. You yelp, almost falling on him, as he licks the cream off the tip of your nose with a loud kiss. He gives a taunting lick before releasing you. “Delectable.” and before you can protest at this outrageous gesture he takes the spoon and eats the cream before looking at you with fire in his eyes, “Satisfied my dear?” 

“You..! What was that?!” You fume, beyond embarrassed now. He flashes his canine to you as he boops your nose, “I simply acceded your childish demand on my own terms.” he says with contempt and amusement, “Now, are you willing to drink your medicinal treat and let me help?” 

You fulminate in silence. Once again he turned the table to his advantage!  

You let him feed you again, rationalizing that the less fussy you are, the quicker it will end. Once all the cream is finished he delicately gives you the cup to drink the hot cocoa at your pace. “Your face is red hot.” He notes, “Do you have a fever?” 

‘No, it’s your fault!’ you want to respond but keep quiet. You are not about to reveal such a thing. 

“It’s the cocoa...” You mumble between your teeth, sipping your drink. He contemplates you before sadly smiling, his knuckles coming to gently brush your cheek, “I know it displeases you, Ch’acah. But it is a necessary evil for now. I am trying to help you, do you understand?”

You want to bite back, but... His eyes look at you with such fondness... He disarms you so easily... 

You swallow back your ire and tiredly nod, “Yes, I do... Ch’acah...” 

His smile stretches ever so slightly and he leans forward to kiss your forehead, his thumb brushing your cheekbone, “Drink, cheo visit. Sleep will embrace you soon enough.” 

Thrawn refocuses on his datapad, patiently awaiting for it to take effect. You silently sip your hot drink before you do something that he did not anticipate, at least not so soon! You shyly come to press yourself against him, nudging at his side, looking up at him with a sorry expression, “I am a bit cold.” You explain. He nods, his arm circling your shoulders to keep you there, “Make yourself comfortable, Ch’acah.” He invites, his heart beating furiously while his expression is perfectly controlled. 

You yawn a big time before pressing your mouth shut, “Sorry, it is impolite.”, “Do not bother with that.” He speaks softly, his hand brushing your shoulder tenderly, “But I am so... sleepy, suddenly...”, ”It is the medication, do not fight it, Ch’acah. Welcome it.” 

It takes very little time to take effect and Thrawn has just the reflex to take the cup from you when you fully lose consciousness, falling on his lap. He remains still, contemplating your vulnerable form; brushing a strand of hair behind your cute ear. He cups your form in his strong arms and lifts you up, carrying you to his large bed where he lays you down carefully. You weakly moan as he parts from you, depriving you of his warmth. He takes your hand that he kisses reverently, admiring your peaceful face with love constricting his heart so much he feels physical pain. 

“Sleep, my love. I am here to watch over you.” He whispers lowly. He heads toward the bathroom and lifts the lid of the toilet, putting two fingers deep down his throat and making himself puke, eliminating the little quantity of drug in his system. Not that what he ate would drastically affect his organism, but he prefers to not take any risk. He brushes his teeth clean with your stolen brush and comes to lean against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he looks at you, on top of the covers in your little pajama that he specially chose... 

Warrior, you are so beautiful... If he isn’t careful you invade his entire mind making him forget the reasons he came all the way here, in this Empire. He wished he had more time to discuss with you, about anything, he wants to hear your opinion on every subject as grave or inconsequential as they might be! Your judgment has always been a source of inspiration for him, even when you disagree he tries his best to see things from your point of view, to understand you better...

He perks his ears, listening to the feeble breath escaping your delicious mouth that he wishes to kiss every day... 

He silently praises his self-control.  

You almost interrupted a very private moment between him, your sketchbook, and his hand, but he ultimately decided against it. But now, it comes titillating him back, and your vulnerable and defenseless form is not helping... 

He sniggers at himself. Look at him, his muscles rolling under his skin and his breath deepening at the simple thought of grazing your soft skin... 

He loves looking at you sleeping, when you are in slumbers he can do anything his heart so desires... 

But he remained reasonable. After this delicious bathing session, he did not touch you inappropriately once, despite the cries of his burning flesh. He found solace in hugging you tight at night to share his higher body temperature with your trembling self. 

But tonight, he feels like being selfish. After all, you tempt him everyday, days and nights and take advantage of his good care. He can take a slice of the cake too... 

He approaches the bed again, letting the tip of his fingers caress the smooth skin of your naked leg. He opens a drawer to take out his personal imager, where he stores his latest pics of you. 

He has several backups on different flash drives and hard drives. He scrolls through his collection, admiring you from every angle. Your body was terribly wounded and wrapped in bandages, but now he took some off of you, he has more... access. 

He smiles tightly and leans over you to unbutton your top, already bursting with ideas for new delectable pictures...

@bluechiss @blueninjablade3 @thrawnspetgoose @twilekchiss @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching  @obbicrystaleo @leo4242564 @davesrightshoe @Holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni @lilyalone @princesslunamoon19 @Janjtje

[faerromagnetic]

Harrow the Ninth, Thoughts part 3

Finished the book! Harrow wasn't even insane, everyone was just gaslighting her. Gideon the First WAS attacking her. Ianthe was lying all the time, because Harrow told her to do so. Augustine and Mercy were lying to keep their cover, Johnny G. was lying because he also didn't know anything, even Harrow was lying to herself.

I understand, why both Lyctors had to kill John. But the consequences of what they'll do is insane. Obliterate 9 planets. Kill, likely Billions of People, Again. Who's to say killing off all life in a planet post ressurection won't make another Ressurection Beast to wreck havoc in the Universe. In an awful way, Mercy and Augustine are recreating the sin that John did. With likely the same consequences.

I can't agree with killing the Emperor, yes he deserves to die, but the price of doing so would have been too steep. I'd lock him in a tomb, and have him empower Dominicus for eternity. Killing John, and Dominicus in turn leads the nine houses to be put under the control of Augustine or Mercy, and through that connection, the Blood of Eden.

We don't even know who tf the Blood of Eden is! For all we know they're Fanatics and Zealots. With a name like that I'd bet money on them hyper religious freaks and Zealots. Probably some Brotherhood of Steel, Adeptus Mechanicus style cult. Likely the type to uncritically worship Nostalgia and the Past.

I'd stick with John honestly. Maybe John Gohn could be better one day, and I HOPE he was telling the truth about his regrets. If he didn't, well fuck him then. Warhammer 40k had the right idea for God Emperors. Turn the bastard into a living battery. I think, a part of Jod was hoping the 8 in GtN, would crack the formula. Maybe that's why he was hoping they would take it slow, do it with years of study and preparation. So, I can't really hate Ianthe for what she did. Or maybe, I just fell for Jaius Gaius sad wet cat act.

Also, Harrow and Gideon definitely opened the stupid tomb. Gideon found Harrow in the Tomb. So Alecto was definitely released. Maybe, partially? But she's still out there, somewhere. Maybe the girl living with Camilla. Who knows

I am, so very very happy I got my prediction about the Sleeper right. Once I realized Gideon was alive and consciousness inside Harrow, there was only one suspect. Gideon's Mom. Where else was a friggin Haz Suit ever mentioned except the one her Mom was found in. Considering Palamedes mentioned that you bring your last memory with you when you died, of course her Mom remembered being in a Haz Suit

[rippersz]

𝕴𝖙’𝖘 𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔𝖔.

«——..✞..——»

«——..✞..——»

(DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT) (TW: Mentions of cannibalism, murder, slight glorification of both, gore, toxic love, smutty/suggestive themes, etc.) (Larissa Weems x Reader)

«——..✞..——»

“The blood on my teeth begins to taste like a poem, like religion, like the way you look at me.” ~ Sean Glatch

«——..✞..——»

Turns out, the maintenance crew was due to leave only about two hours after everyone vacated Nevermore to go to the carnival. The only catch was that Larissa had to turn it back on five hours later; some inane thing about a system catch up and not wanting to blow the lights and blah blah blah. She didn’t really seem too concerned, so you figured it wasn’t worth worrying about. Though then again, her level of reaction is often exaggerated around others. A smooth coverup to her consistent undertone of intense apathy. She’s a damn good actress, you have to give her that. Even when around you, she puts a bit more life into her eyes. Into her voice. Into her breath. It’s forced, of course. Yeah. Most definitely. She doesn’t just magically feel more alive because of you. That type of thing doesn’t happen in real life.

…Cannibals, on the other hand, happen far more often than people like to think.

If you could go back in time and tell your younger self that you’d somehow fall into a weird pseudo-psychotic-relationship with your one day shape-shifting cannibalistic gorgeous boss, you’re pretty sure your younger self would just burst into tears. Or blink maybe- and ask what a ‘cannibal’ was. You wouldn’t have an answer, of course, but that’s neither here nor there.

What’s more important anyway is the fact that you stupidly agreed to meet Larissa by Nevermore’s main entrance at exactly 9:45. You were exhausted after a day of rowdy teenagers and slow classes and it was only at about 7 PM when you remembered that your day wasn’t even over yet. Oh no no no. You still had a game to play. A game that, now as you think of it, standing by the two big doors and waiting for the guest of honor, may just go on well into the night. It depends on how Larissa’s feeling. It depends on what the ‘terms’ are. It depends on if she’s eaten dinner yet and if she has the energy to kill, cook, and clean before everyone gets back.

God you hope that’s not the case.

You really really hope-

“Always on time, I see,” a familiar voice rings through the hall, sounding from the top of the staircase.

Speaking of the fucking thorn in your side.

You turn at the exact moment that Larissa’s kitten heels start click-clacking their way down the stairs… and then promptly fall short of breath at the sight.

You haven’t seen her all day. Not even once. And now there she stands, all 6 feet and however many inches in those shoes and she’s painted against the moonlight that shines through the large windows behind her and the shadows drink her in as the air loses itself in her beauty, stealing away into her lungs and depriving you of oxygen and you, not for the first time, find yourself wondering why it’s so hard to just accept her. To just come to terms with the fact that maybe, if you ignore her insatiable appetite, you may be able to fall asleep in her arms and kiss her peacefully without feeling shame. Why can’t you just push guilt aside and fall into her body and let her pick you up and surround you and finally feel safe? And why oh why can you not take your fucking eyes off of her goddamn body? Jesus you are barely holding yourself together as she drags one slender hand down the bannister, making eye contact with you as she prowls. Those crystal eyes take on a dark, nearly black hue in the grey of the evening and you find yourself ashamed of the fact that you can’t look away from them.

Perhaps some sins are meant to be indulged in.

Her crimson lips curl into a placating close-mouthed smile. Her skin and hair are as pale and pristine as ever. Her perfume, as she gets closer, is heavier- spicier- but the intoxication of scent is the least of your worries. Oh no; the thing you’re most concerned about is the dress. Never have you ever seen her wear red. Not in your five and a half years of working at Nevermore. Not even in your dreams. Larissa doesn’t touch deep colors. She doesn’t wear the darker shades.

And yet?

Yet, there she is. Torturing you. Wrapping her long slim fingers around your attention span and taking all of it for herself. ‘Mine,’ is what she’s silently saying as she gives her hips some extra sway and shows off the loose sash around her waist. The dress reveals the curve of her calves and the tiniest bit of her thighs and suddenly you come to the (stupid) realization that she’s not wearing any stockings. Which she always wears. Which somehow, the absence of, makes your brain short-circuit and recalculate.

“Thank you for meeting me.” And before you even know it, there the Big Bad stands - hands clasped at her waist and head tilted to the side, looking like the cat who did not only catch the canary but also skinned, filleted, and served the little fucker up on a silver platter.

You feel the need to glare at her, to curse her for her beauty and her allure, but you simply can’t muster up the energy to do so. You’re tired- and your emotions are frayed- and you just want to rest- but clearly someone doesn’t want you to be at peace just yet. No, clearly, she wants you all to herself for just a little while. You’re not sure why, you’ve contemplated it before, but dwelling on anything regarding Larissa Weems is a spiraling whirl of insanity and despair that you just don’t wanna go down right now. So it’s better to stay in the present… and give her a little hum while you cross your arms. If she’s noticed that you take on such a defensive stance whenever she’s around, she hasn’t said anything. And she probably won’t either. Cuz she doesn’t care.

“Yup. Are we gonna get this over with or what?” It comes out harsher than you want it to, forcing your organs to immediately crinkle up like smashed paper as you cringe at your sharp tone.

Larissa fairs no better as her expression falls and her lips twist into a frown. The lines of her face become deeper when she looks so depressed, like she hasn’t slept in 80 years. You want so terribly to tell her to suck it up and stop acting like a baby, but you also know that her excitement about fun and friendliness is not a thing she fakes. The Poe Cup excites her. The Nevermore dances and activities and Outreach Day and this, that, and the other all bring her some modicum of joy. The kids themselves make her happy. It’s weird to know a person who has killed another human being and enjoyed the taste of their flesh… while also finding happiness in the simple annual events of their job. Like she has an alter ego; but you know that’s not the case. She’s 100% herself. Which is both admirable and scary.

“If you don’t want to,” Larissa hisses, making you freeze at the sound of undeniable ice in her tone, “then don’t make me force you. Go to bed, if you so wish. I’m not going to keep you against your will.”

Like a monster. She doesn’t say it, but you think that maybe she’s thinking it.

And though you want to respond and say But you are a monster. You have kept people against their will before. You have killed before. you decide to steer the conversation to safer shores and get yourself out of harm's way. Larissa doesn’t often get serious with you, but whenever she does it, you know better than to push her buttons. Certain boundaries have not yet been established. You never know if you are safe.

“Sorry- sorry. I’m just tired. Really, I’m fine. Let’s play and then we can get some rest. That sound okay?”

A dark gaze pins you to your spot, staring into the very marrow of your bones. It’s clear what she’s thinking. It’s clear what she knows. Like she knows you’re just agreeing to save your own hide. She knows you’re complying out of fear. She can’t hear your heartbeat, but she knows it’s running faster than a speeding train. She knows she’s shifted the line once again.

The only thing is that she really can’t bring herself to care.

You’ve complied. That’s all she needs.

“…Fine. Yes. Are you ready to discuss the terms?”

It’s obvious that the tension hasn’t dissipated entirely, but you figure that as the night carries on, that will change.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

Who knows? It may even be fun.

Larissa smiles.

It’s wide.

It’s.. scary.

Sharp.

A Cheshire grin.

Cold. Steely. It doesn’t reach her eyes. You feel sweat start to bead along your back.

“In the name of saving time, there will be one round. I will seek. You will hide. We will have 45 minutes in total. However, you will get a 20 second head start. Should I manage to find and catch you in under 45 minutes, you’ll join me for dinner. The main course will be poached lamb. And you will be required to eat it.” There’s a pause.

“All of it.”

Okay not fun. DEFINITELY not fun. So incredibly not fun.

You swallow.

“…And if I win?”

Then what? Then what if you win? What the fuck do you get out of this? What could she possibly give y-

“Then I will give it up.”

…What?

You look at her wildly. But there’s no expression on her face. She’s just… blank. White behind the eyes. Nothing. Apathetic.

No.

No.

Practiced indifference.

She doesn’t think you can win.

She doesn’t even want to consider you winning.

But all is fair in love and cannibalism. And she’s never been one to tip the scales.

“I’m sorry, you’ll what?” You’re just not sure you’ve heard her correctly. She’ll ‘give it up’?

Larissa sighs, her lashes fluttering as she purses her lips and gives you a ‘look’.

“If you win, I’ll give it up.”

…And that’s it? That’s all she’s gonna give you?

“What do you even mean? Give up the whole killing people and eating them thing? The-” You look around, suddenly nervous about a creature somehow lurking in the shadows. One can never be too careful. Probably best that you don’t speak so loudly. “-the cannibalism?” Your body leans closer to her as you whisper, though your eyes stray and scan the shadowed columns and walls of the entrance hall.

Larissa of course takes that opportunity to get closer to you and bends down at the waist, lining her lips up to your ear while you’re distracted.

“Yes, darling. I’ll give up the cannibalism.” And her voice is so husky and her breath is so warm, flushed against the side of your neck, that you nearly fall right to your knees.

I’ll give up the cannibalism.

Oh you could laugh. You could laugh and you could laugh hard. She’s joking- she has to be. And you’re about to tell her that, you’re about to turn your head and tell her not to fuck around with you, but then your cheeks brush and suddenly you’re letting out an embarrassing squeak and stumbling back to hit the door behind you.

She blinks, straightens up, and smiles down at you as though nothing ever happened.

It’s infuriating.

“You’re lying. You wouldn’t do that.”

A light eyebrow quirks up.

“Wouldn’t I?”

A heavy staring contest ensues; but you’re the only one trying not to blink - Larissa is just looking. And smirking. And god fuck her for being so fucking gorgeous.

“I’m a woman of my word, Y/n,” she purrs, watching with such amusement as you desperately try to collect yourself and steer yourself back on track.

Not that the track was very clear nor sane in the first place. In fact, the track probably leads to Hell.

Oh well.

You were never getting through the pearly gates anyway.

“Okay,” you decide, looking her up and down. “If I win, you stop it. All of it. No more killing, eating, nothing. The only protein you consume comes from livestock. Not human livestock. Just- livestock.” You nod to yourself, giving her a firm stare.

But just because you reaffirmed what happens if you win doesn’t mean you will. And she knows that. So she hums and turns on one heel, taking her burning gaze away from you and sweeping it over the floors and walls- down into the darkness of the corridors. You don’t know what she’s thinking, but you have a feeling it’s not good. Larissa can be very sneaky when she wants to be… cheating, at least in a playful little game like the one you’ll be having, is certainly not below her. In fact, she’s entirely capable of winning. Like on a level you could not even imagine. She’s been around Nevermore for how long? Counting her years in the Academy as a student and as an adult… knowing her roommate used to be the cunning and sly Morticia Frump neé Addams… well. Her big sexy shapeshifter brain probably has the entire fucking place memorized.

And you haven’t even been there for six years.

So you’re saying you’re doomed.

Yeah. Basically.

“Yes,” Larissa finally confirms, turning back to you with a quick shift of her legs. “And if I win, you dine with me.” Oh she looks so excited about that. Her eyes, somehow, are darker than they were before. No light reflects at all as they carve into your soul. Already you can tell that she’s imagining how she’ll cook the meat.

“…Poached lamb, you said?”

She grins, her smile sudden like she’s surprised (and delighted) that you remembered.

“Yes. Would you like to know what other dishes I’ll be preparing?”

At the sound of her cheery tone, your expression sets into a scowl.

“You’re talking as if you’ve won already. What makes you think that’ll happen?”

Her physical response is minuscule. Barely even there. But you notice the slight way in which her cheek twitches; and you see how her hands tighten around each other. When she responds, her red lips are curved into a smirk and her voice is soft. Soft and kind. It sends a blaze of hot warmth across your body.

“I find acting as though you already have the thing you want tends to result in obtaining it.” Her head tilts. Her eyes run over your body. From your feet to your head, over the swaying black cotton dress you’re wearing and the necklaces you have draped over your collarbones. Slow and steady. Tracing your arms… your legs… your shoulders… your waist… your breasts and your hair… not hungry for your flesh in her stomach, but hungry for your skin against her tongue. Your skin against her lips. Your skin against her own. She lets out a sigh. “And I want you.”

It’s breathed out into the night - and accompanied by the sudden loud chime of Nevermore’s clock tower.

You jump at the sound of it, immediately slapping a hand over your heart in shock.

“Goddammit! That fucking thing gets me every time.” It’s definitely not the thing to be focusing on, but you’re not sure you have the mental capacity to pick through and understand the implications behind Larissa’s words. As it is, the change of the hour means you have even less time to play before the rest of the staff and the children return.

Larissa, of course, did not jump out of her bloody skin. Instead, she watched your body tense and your eyes widen with no small amount of fondness. She thought you were silly. Adorable. Hers.

“I suppose that’s our cue, then. Are you ready to begin?” Her white teeth glimmer when she turns to glance up at the staircase.

You feel your heart start to thump within your ears.

Always the little lamb, aren’t you darling?

Yes.

Always the prey.

Yes.

Meant to be hunted.

Yes.

Meant to be found.

Yes.

No.

Wait. …Meant to be found?

No...

No no no no no no.

Not meant to be found. Not meant to be found at all. The whole point is not to be found. The whole point is to escape.

Oh? What are you escaping from? There is no one here to hurt you. There is no one here to get you. You are safe. You are safe.

Oh if only that were true…

If only she could love you without wanting to swallow you whole.

You finally sigh, resigned and tired.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, Larissa.”

«——..✞..——»

Can you tell I’m hyperfixating on her? Thank you so much for the love. (Let’s just pretend Nevermore’s clocktower works. And the power being out will come into play in the next part ;)) - Rip x

(P.S. Tell me who you want to win in the game of hide and seek.)

(P.P.S. Most of the meat referenced in this series is code for human flesh. ‘Long pork’, for example, is the official name for human. Here, the ‘poached lamb’ and other types mentioned in future is also code. Thx.)

«——..✞..——»

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 17/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Back in business, y'all!

It finally arrived on this part. I'm excited what you all think of this development.

The italics at the end are flashbacks Lucifer is having on that particularly familiar convo.

-----------------------------------------

Lucifer didn't know what he expected to see beyond the entrance to the tree. He had assumed it would be like the outside- plastered with evil and decay and suffocation. Hell, he expected that he would die the second he steps inside because he may be the King of Hell but this is a being as old, possibly older, than his Father.

He didn't expect this though.

Cotton clouds walking along the vibrant blue skies like a herd of sheep. Towering trees, adorned with leaves as shining like the finest emerald, dance gracefully in the soft breeze. There's crystal-clear waters acting like a mirror for the heavens, tranquil movements reflecting the azure sky above. Animals, predator and prey are frolicking without a care in the world as if the circle of life simply does not exist.

And at the heart of it all, in the place where time stands still, lies an apple tree. The clouds make way for the sun above to shine its golden rays, helping Lucifer's brain solidify where he is.

There is no way.

Lucifer: Eden?

The Sin of Pride hears humming behind the tree. He moves closer to inspect and gets his second shock of the day. He chokes up a little.

Lucifer: Lily?

It was Lilith? That can't be right. The woman smiles at him but it doesn't look like Lilith. Her smile was always warm, serene, and full of life- this was not his ex-wife and wow, did that thought just made him start to lose it.

Lucifer: W̶͇͚̫̻͂̄́̽̽͗ẖ̷̮̩̄͂͛̊̓̕͠à̵̯̪͇̝t̵̘͔̪̱̤̗̙̂ ̸̨̡̻̰̼͖̈́̀͐̒̏̕t̶̡̛̼̺̱̳̮̍͌͐͠ͅh̸̫̔͒͠͝ę̶̱̩̪̝̪̏͌͆̾̕ ̶̟̥̒́̎h̵̑̉͜ë̵̹̓l̵͉̘̗̆͑̏͝͝l̸̘̹͔̣̓́̂̚ ̸͉͖͑́̑̋ả̷̹̩̰r̸̩̖̼̔͊̽̈́̈͐̕ͅë̵̡͓ ̵̠͚̝̜̾̒̃́y̸̭͒̽̋̈́̋ȯ̸̘̈́̍̃ͅu̴̪̫͉̯͍̬̠̐̆́ ̷̞͈͒̄̔̑͐͋͝d̴̢̦͚̐̊̓̍͌õ̵̝͍͉͉͔̲͑̇̎͌͋̀į̸̥̮͔̊̾̚ṇ̴̣̬̀̈́̈́̓̎̕̚͜ǵ̵̼̖̄ ̸̹̬͍̓̑́͆̎w̶̛̲̮͓̤̩̗͕̒̌̄̆̈͝ė̴̖̏̀͆̊͑͝ạ̶̺͍̥͌̽̀̒r̸̨̞̣̖̺̱̐̃̔ͅį̸͙͔̈́͐̆ņ̵̺̟̠̏͑̒̚ḡ̵̜͛̆̒͌ ̴̧̞̮̰̦̲̇̄̽̋͆̄ͅt̵̘̓͆͗h̷̳̗̖͘ã̴̘͉̹̘̯͚͠t̵̳̂͝ ̴̨̦̭̳̒͂́͌̓͋͝f̷̢͚̀͐à̷̢̩c̷̤̝̼̞͙̮̄̾́̽̅̀͐͜ẻ̸̛͈͝?̴̮̗͎͓̥̱͑̒̈́̈́̿ͅ!̴̩͍̭͕̳̳̭̉̆

Roo: Well, I can't let you see my true form now, could I? It would likely burn your eyes where you stand. Soooo, I picked something you're... a little bit more familiar with. You like it?~

Lucifer: Y̸̦̥̥̱̞̓̌͐͜͠o̶̥͍̊̈́̋͠ü̶̢̠̩̙͎̈́ ̶̛̮͙̜͔̋͋̽̇̈́ḣ̸̫̈̓̔͂͠a̵̰̤̳̅͒̉̆̕v̵̡̖̰̺̂̂͒̎̀͑͠ḙ̸̟̥́̃̈́̄͝ ̸͎͙̳͎̖̀̍̎͜n̵̢̩̪͉͔̗͈̈́͘o̷̗̻͕̯͋̄̃͝ͅͅ ̷̞̹̥̻̤̥̋r̶̨̫̳͔̀͌̓͊͊͜i̵̧̲̪͍̻̹͍͆̍̈́g̷͚̑h̴̨͎̰̀̀́͗̿͜͝ṱ̵̠̍́͆̃̎̏!̶̢̧͉̻̺̣̬̊

Roo: And who are you to tell me what to do, fallen? You're a mere speck in my sight. Besides, didn't my sister use that other woman's face? What was her name? Eve?

Lucifer: F̶̤͍̪̭̾̑̈͊͠ù̴͈̫̚c̵͇̎́̍̽̚͠k̵̳̩̞̖̝̤̀̒͋͌̉í̶̧͚̟̠̚̚ň̸̨̘̖̳̳̆̐͗̋-̴̮́̾͒̔͆

Lucifer lunges but the fact that it is his ex-wife's face made him hesitate enough for Roo summon roots, essentially pinning him against the Tree of Knowledge.

Roo: Can't have that, dear fallen. Hmm, how can I make you behave? Perhaps this look is a bit outdated. How abouuttt...

Lilith's face was enveloped in red and black, smile morphing into an all too familiar grin. One moment he was staring at Lilith's beautiful face, now he found himself locked in a gaze with the unmistakable form of Alastor.

Roo: This is more your style now right, sire? I must say, this one looks more outdated and tacky.

Anger must still be all over his face because Roo made a pondering look. The Root of All Evil pretended to contemplate before obnoxiously letting out an excited squeal.

Roo: Oh! I got it!

Alastor shrinks, his red bob cut lengthens, turning blond from the roots. Gray skin became porcelain white with red circles appearing on the cheeks.

He's going to kill her.

Roo: Perfect, no?

He's going to kill this fucking bitch for using his daughter's face!-

He breaks free from his restraints in a flurry of rage, hand immediately grasping Roo's (NOT HIS DAUGHTER) neck. Charlie (NO IT IS NOT HER) struggles, sending the roots back to get him but his hellfire is preventing them to get closer.

Lucifer pries Roo's mouth open and began reciting an incantation- runes physically manifest themselves, entering Roo. Lucifer can feel the power of Goodie's seal flow out of him, draining him of his strength. He start coughing up blood but pushes through.

This is for Charlie. For everyone.

By the end of it, Roo is motionless and Lucifer slumps on the tree, exhausted beyond belief. He's holding his throat as golden blood drip from is mouth. Goodie didn't say it was this bad.

He tries not to look at Roo's body. She's still wearing Charlie's whole being and he doesn't want to see an almost dead version of his daughter's face.

Lucifer thought it was over until there was a chuckle. He looks on in horror as the mangled body of Roo sat up in manic laughter. His daughter's lovely smile turned more broken, so much that it's tearing her face apart.

Roo: Surprise!!!

Lucifer: What...? You're supposed to be sealed now. I was inches away. It was supposed to work!

Roo bursts into more laughter like he just said the dumbest thing ever. She looks up to the sky.

Roo: Oh man, you're really that stupid?? This ritual was never going to work and Goodie knew it! All this ancient thing does is barely prick my finger.

Lucifer: I don't understand. I- why?

Roo: Because Goodie knew what I needed and sent you to give it.

Lucifer thinks back to his first conversation with Goodie and feels this sense of dread.

Goodie: I can lend you something that shall be enough to contain her. But for this to work, I need one thing.

Lucifer: And what do you need?

Lucifer: What is it?

Beautiful Eden disappeared and now replaced with a decaying forest. The green grass turned into the red flowers from outside as they continue to excrete miasma.

Lucifer never felt so breathless.

Roo and Goodie: You

[foundfamilyblog]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ARCANES ENDING BELOW:

Now, this is off topic for my blog but I'd like to shed light on something.

Arcanes ending. Namely the end of Jinx's character arc is what I believe to be one of the finest pieces of writing in the modern world with no exception. When Jinx is born at the end of 103 we see what happens to someone who heals wrong, we see the kind of monster they become when they aren't nurtured and given a proper environment to heal in. Powder becomes a monster known as Jinx who goes on to commit multiple acts of terrorism against Piltover. The way she feeds into this idea of being a monster as a way of lashing out at the pain she's felt from being "abandoned" by Vi is so incredibly realistic and relatable that it begs the question what has happened in the writers lives that allow them to understand such a transformation so thoroughly.

Then, at the end of season 1 we see Powder/Jinx finally embrace her new self with no more qualms about her identity, truly and finally one. Without any need to hold back anymore, she does something truly unforgivable and without redemption in the form of 9/11ing Piltover. Even in this moment though, she screams and cries in pain at how her old life is well and truly gone. The emotional turmoil of what she's done and what she's doing is too much to handle. To violently tear a new life out from the broken and beaten body of your old one is something no soul should have to do, but she does, and she makes it relatable.

Once we see her again in season 2, she has become much more lucid and comfortable in her own body as Jinx, the hallucinations have subsided for the most part and her inner turmoil is appropriately dealt with. Additionally she has a goal in mind now, she's chosen who she is and she knows what she wants to do: Kill Vi. The new life she has built for herself is purposeful, deliberate, no more a mish mash of two clashing ideals.

She wants to solidify her role as a monster once and for all, which ends in an epic battle between her and her sister, and at the very end of the fight right before she's taken out for good? A single soul sees the value in her life and risks everything to protect her. A child. Everyone, even Jinx is shocked by this because how could anyone ever love an ugly, broken thing like her? Let alone risk their life for her? The shock this instills in everyone buys Jinx enough time to escape with the kid, Isha. Imagine performing such horrible, inconceivable actions with no remorse and being full of such hatred, and then one person decides you're worth it. Just one person decides you are worthy of love and that they do love you and want you around. Can you imagine how that would shatter your world view? Being full of such self hatred and hatred for the world around you only to be shown warmth even in those times? This is exactly what happens to Jinx.

When we see her next, some time has passed, and she's even begun to drop the name Jinx. Her new friend, Isha, and her have begun a new life together and they look out for each other. The way Jinx describes her new life is "like I'm looking through glasses, except I can't tell if everything's blurry or clear." And what's clear to us as the audience is that Jinx is FINALLY healing. She is finally beginning to find some peace after all she has been through, and all it took was ONE soul, one singular person to love her even after all she had done. We go on to see her reunite with her sister, and somewhat with her father. We get to watch her slowly rebuild the life that was stolen from her and reconnect with those she lost, and those she hurt. This represents hope and change, rebirth and love, that maybe your sins aren't who you are. That you can change and love and be so wonderfully you with those who love you!

Isha dies. Isha, Jinx's anchor to the world, dies protecting her. Yet again Jinx loses everything. Her father is taken from her yet again in the process and the exact trauma that shaped her into Jinx is entirely recreated. Except, this time? There's no insanity. There's no hallucinations and mania. There's no rage or hate or flames or explosions or chaos or screaming. It's just sad. Nothing but sorrow fills Jinx up as she loses her one and only friend. She intends to kill herself at this point. She looks back at her life and sees how everyone she gets close to dies, gets hurt, or she in some way is preventing from being happy. That she alone is the perpetuator of a cycle of violence that has plagued her families lives for years and years. So she decides to give them closure. She tells Vi she can stop feeling bad for being happy and move on, she tells Cait she didn't know her Mom was in the explosion, and she leaves. Nothing more, just leaves. Doesn't tell anyone what she's going to do, she just does it. The intense guilt she feels is palpable in every breath she takes, it's clear she just wants to quietly leave this world without hurting anyone, just this once. Then the time finally comes, to end her life and finally be free of it all. Only to be stopped. One more remnant of her old life comes back and convinces her to stick around a little longer. Somehow, she agrees, but we all know that this is only temporary. The guilt someone feels after doing something so terrible, so unforgivable, can't be cleansed by a single conversation. She hates herself and just wants to stop hurting people, but she still has a small spark, something in her that has hope she can do good. So she delays her death to try one more time to be kind.

Next we see her, she's got a new look and is fighting alongside Vi, instead of against. She acknowledges their connection and at a pivotal moment, takes the fall. She saves her sisters life and "sacrifices" herself in the process. At the very last moment, she understands that there's another way out of her pain and hurting everyone around her instead of dying. She fakes her own death to everyone and escapes the country quietly. She tells no one and quietly escapes, with everyone having the closure of her death.

No more chasing her, no more thinking of what she might be plotting, no more hoping the old her will return. It's just over.

Her final action in Arcane is one of kindness, and healing to those she hurt. It is not redemption, but it is understanding. She accepts she is a bad person and may very well still hate herself, however she at the very least opens herself up to a new life far from those she hurt. And I think that's beautiful.

Anyway this is just my personal interpretation of the ending, I'm open to new ideas and down to discuss though! Btw I didn't proof read this so if it seems messed up anywhere that's why.

[eddiemunsonw]

Atonement - PART 1

PART 1 - PART 2

Gator Tillman x fem!reader

Summary: Munch has taken Gator captive to let him atone for his sins, you try to convince him not to by any means necessary

CW/Disclaimer: Violence (maiming), contains 'spoilers'

Author's note: Spoilers ahead, in a way. It's based on early on previews we have had, as well as the latest preview for episode 9. I had a fix-it urge before the fix-it event has even occurred.

Words: 2016

Screams echoed across the empty land, making you quicken your step. It didn’t surprise you that it had come this far, not in the slightest. You had told him to stay as far away from him as he could, but he decided to be cocky. Which… in some way, you understood. His thing with Munch was the only part of his life he currently felt in control of, or desperately wanted to be in control of. The man who was supposed to be dead by his gun had instead broken his arm, kicked him in the balls and left him hunched over like a loser vomiting in the grass for his dad to find. That wasn’t a pretty sight, for neither of them. Or you, for that matter. 

Because despite the stupidly disgusting things that left his mouth on occasion, you cared for him. Why? Maybe because you knew where it came from. With a father like that, being fed his atrocious beliefs all his life and hardly being met with any opposition, it was probably harder to reflect on your own actions even if you should. Maybe because when you told him off he actually started to look remorseful. Maybe because, under all that douchebag behavior, you knew there was more to him. He had shown you on rare occasions when he let his guard down. Not on purpose, that’s for sure. But he had.

As for you, you knew Munch. Sort of. A long time ago, he had taken up one of the rooms above the bar. You had been scared of him, especially since he only showed up when he knew you were the only one behind the bar. The other patrons paid him no mind, but you did. How could you not? He only used the room to sleep. He’d come in late and be gone by the time you opened up the next day. You thought maybe he was homeless and you didn’t have the heart to tell your boss, the owner of the bar, that you had a freeloading guest. The rooms were barely used as it was, so you assumed it wouldn’t hurt. One night, a guest had been particularly difficult for you and at one point things had seemed to get out of hand and suddenly there had been Munch, snapping his neck like a twig and dragging him out of the bar without a word. That was the last time you’d seen him.

So when Gator mentioned his name, you had mixed feelings. You worried for Gator, knowing you wouldn’t want to be on Munch’s bad side. You were also, in some way, glad that Munch was okay. However after hearing that Munch broke Gator’s arm, you weren’t so sure if you should. Gator loved boasting about his achievements, was very quiet about his failures. He was all too giddy to tell you that he placed a tracker under Munch’s car and despite the many times you tried to talk him out of it, he had gone. He went, killed Munch and accidentally killed an old lady who decided to attack him with a bag of oranges for some reason.

Little did he know that the old lady and Munch had had a similar silent agreement as you had with Munch in the past. And little did he know that he’d simply shot through the head of a corpse that Munch had killed off earlier, rather than the man himself. Of course, it hadn’t been hard for him to figure out that Gator was behind it. Neither was it hard for him to decide he must be punished.

You had known something was up when Gator didn’t answer his cell. He never missed your calls, or he’d call back immediately. Something was up. When you finally found his car on the side of the road, the screams from afar gave you all you needed to find him. Munch hadn’t bothered to lock the shed, he even didn’t look up from Gator’s fear struck face when you stomped inside.

“Munch, let him go, please.”

Slowly, he turned his head to face you, but not before slicing a thick line through Gator’s cheek with the dull knife in his hand. He screamed.

“The boy has to pay for his sins,” Munch said, in that same, dull tone he always used. Smiled weakly as he turned back to face Gator, who tried to blink the blood away as it ran into his eye.

“It was an accident,” you tried, ignoring the fact that Gator had very much tried to kill the man. This was about the old lady after all.

“Foolish girl should not say foolish things.”

“Please, I can teach him to be better, he can learn—”

“A boy must learn to listen to what is not being said.”

With that said, Munch moved the knife closer to one of Gator’s eyes, who whimpered shakily, softly pleading, begging him not to.

“He does not need to see, as the cruels of this world fuel the ill part of his existence.”

“I need— I need my eyes, please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt her. I-I-I’m sorry I tried to kill you! I only wanted for my dad, for Roy to be proud. To see me.”

Munch laughed in the creepiest sense of the word.

“To want the devil himself to be proud of one is to sin with the deepest desire for ruin.”

“I’m good— P-Please, I can be good, I promise! Please Y/N, tell him! Tell him!”

You placed a hesitant hand on Munch’s shoulder, letting go of a shaky breath as you crouched down.

“Please don’t hurt him. Can’t you see? He’s hurting enough from the turmoil inside. It’s Roy who you should go after, he’s the real monster. Gator is only… the product of it. He’s not beyond repair, Roy is. Please, Munch.”

Munch looked up again, considering your words. He got up and rummaged around in his bag, giving you a chance to really look at Gator. He was tied up, both hands and feet and even had a rope around his neck keeping him down. Tears had found their way down across all sides of his face, many streaks mixed with blood of his own. Munch had taken his time making tiny cuts all over his face. You didn’t dare touch him, in fear of Munch getting the wrong idea and ruining whatever small chance you had to save him. Gator’s lower lip trembled and you forced yourself to look at him, trying to convey without words that you’d do anything to get him out of there. You had already been looking around for anything to use as a weapon other than the pocket knife you carried. When Munch sat back on the low stool, he presented you with a square piece of iron attached to a stick. On top of the squared piece was a symbol that you only recognized from the back of Munch’s neck. You had no idea what it meant, or why he was showing it to you, but it could hardly mean anything good.

“Balance is a means used to eradicate evil and maintain the good. The girl is good, the boy is not. The burden of balance must be shared, if the girl wishes for the boy’s release.”

Gator and you watched as munch stuck the iron into the fire, heating it up. Finally realizing what he was saying, Gator turned his head to you and shook his head.

“No, Y/N, don’t. You can’t!”

“I can’t let him take your eyes either,” you said softly, the tremble in your voice betraying your fear. Gator continued to plead, to whom he wasn’t sure. You on the other hand, turned around and bared your neck.

The searing hot metal made you nearly lose your vision as you screamed out from the pain and it was only for Munch holding you up that you didn’t collapse. With uncharacteristic gentleness, he placed a cloth on top and helped you hoist up your clothes again. Gator was next. He didn’t try to fight back as Munch released him, not after you endured this for him, turned around wordlessly so Munch could do the same to him. His hand sought yours behind him and he clutched it tightly as soon as Munch moved away. Neither of you dared to move as Munch gathered his things. Not another word was spoken until Munch left the shed, and another ten minutes passed before Gator turned around to face you.

Guilt was etched deeply into his frown, the blood only deepening the gentle wrinkles on his forehead. Then, he quietly got up, helped you up and held the door of the shed open for you so you could leave. You both didn’t have to wonder whether Munch was gone. He only stayed somewhere with purpose, not just to wander about. It was done, so he was gone. Just as you arrived at the car, Gator turned to face you.

“Why?”

The silence stuck around for a while.

“Because I can’t see you get hurt. You’re hurting enough.”

Gator sighed shakily, his trembling hands trying to find the vape that had long since been discarded somewhere during the wrestle he and Munch had had.

“That’s not for you to fix.”

“I know.”

You didn’t care.

“Roy would have just let me suffer. Would think I’d deserve it too for being such a failure.”

“I know.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You do.”

Gator shook his head.

“No, Y/N, I really, really don’t.”

“I love you,” you whispered. It came as a surprise to you as well. You were his friend, you had always been just his friend and while you had considered the option sometimes, you never thought you’d actually act on it. You weren’t sure if you should regret it now, seeing the astonished look on Gator’s face.

Gator realized in the back of his mind that he had never, not once, been told these words. By no one. He didn’t think he’d ever hear them, nevertheless so sincerely, warm and loving. He closed the distance between you two so quickly that you gasped. His arms curled around you, though they never touched. His exhale was shaky and so were his hands when they carefully wrapped around your waist. He flinched as he felt your hands rest on some of the cuts Munch had made on his back earlier, but didn’t care enough about the pain to stop you from hugging him back.

“I’m sorry,” Gator whispered. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’m—”

“Shh, it’s okay,” you whispered back as you felt his fingers dig into you all the way through your jacket.

“It’s not, it’s not okay. I— you’re— maimed for life, because of me.”

“I chose to do that.”

“I don’t—”

“You do deserve me.”

Somewhere between his apologies, he started crying. Clutching at your jacket like his life depended on it and heaving into your neck. You cried too, but from relief. Munch had allowed your compromise to give Gator a second chance, and it was worth it. You’d do anything for him.

Gator leaned back finally, to look at you, his savior. His friend. The friend who said she loved him, whatever that meant. Stared at you longer, realized he needed to know. If all went to hell, it might as well go to hell today.

Rough hands, dirtied up with dried blood took the gentlest hold of your face before chapped lips brushed against yours, waiting. Yours moved against his, the softness of your tongue soothing his own. You tasted his blood but by no means would it stop you from kissing him, his body pressing yours against the side of his car, his gentle hand covering the back of your neck to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt you.

I love you too.

It wasn’t said with words, but in a world where words were limited, sometimes actions were more than enough.

If you enjoyed reading this, please know that comments and reblogs are highly appreciated :) Likes are lovely but sadly do nothing to spread the fics around! Help your favorite writers (not saying me - in general) out like that so you can continue to enjoy consuming the free work they put out, it's a win-win.

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 9/?

Prev | Next

Dick knows I know about you. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think they’ll ever give up.

Jason put away his phone; he would think about that later. Right now, he wanted to give Jazz all his attention and know what happened to make Danny a cute five-year-old.

“I don’t know how much you know about Danny’s and mine biological parents,” she trailed off while rocking Ellie.

“I heard enough,” Jason answered while Danny said, “Almost everything. Except how I got de-aged ‘cuz even I don’t know or the few days leading up to that.”

Jazz nodded, “good, that’ll make things easier.”

Jazz put a now asleep Ellie on the rocker and looked at Jason and Danny. They were sitting in their new living room. Jason had chosen a little house with the closest neighbor two miles away. They were still in the woods but twenty minutes from a little town with schools, a library, and a general store. Would it be easier to disappear in a city? Maybe. But Danny wouldn’t be able to use his powers as well in the city.

Plus, it’d be easier to avoid Oracle, too.

“Mom and dad were supposed to be out of the house that weekend. They were going to test a new invention. The Fenton Demoleculizer. It was supposed to tear ghosts apart ‘molecule by molecule,’ as they liked to say. It didn’t work that way.”

“Things rarely do,” Danny chirped.

Jazz sighed.

“Ellie had come that weekend to visit. They both took down a ghost and returned them to the Ghost Zone.”

“Stupid Skulker,” Danny added.

“Mom and dad caught them both transforming. They didn’t hesitate; they shot Danny first. Thankfully, I had come down the basement when mom shot Danny. If it had been dad, well, let’s say he’s a horrible shot. Thankfully, the Demoleculizer didn’t work how it was supposed to and only de-aged Danny.”

Jazz sighed and rubbed her eye.

“I was able to get Danny and throw him through the portal, which is how I assume he ended up with you. Mom and dad were furious and thought I was overshadowed. They were ranting about how they didn’t notice their baby boy was dead and were tricked by a filthy ghost. There was no talking to them.”

“In the chaos, Ellie got hit with the Demoleculizer, too. I knew there was no going back at that point, so I got her and went through the portal. Those few minutes must’ve been days here, though, because, well, you know, we didn’t land at the same place or time that Danny had.”

Silence reigned as they all digested what Jazz had said. Jason couldn’t believe any parent would turn against their child that way.

But then again, Sheila did the same to me, he thought.

“So now what,” Jazz asked, “we can’t mooch off you forever, Jason. As much as I appreciate what you’ve done, it isn’t fair that you have to feed three extra mouths now and leave your old haunt for Danny.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s no trouble to me at all. Besides, I already think of Danny as my kid, and parents are there to care for their kids.”

Jason took a deep breath, “Besides, I wasn’t in a good place before Danny. I won’t lie to you guys; I’m not a good guy. I’ve—I’ve killed before; I’ve hurt my family. If anything, I would understand if you guys don’t want to be around me.”

“When you said you’ve killed, have you ever killed innocent people or…?” Jazz left the question hanging.

Jason shook his head and told his story of how he had been killed and returned to life. The Lazarus Pit and League of Assassins were hard to get through, but Danny and Jazz deserved the truth. He told them about his return to Gotham and how he set up a criminal empire. (One that he abandoned for Danny.) He mentioned Titan Towers and his so-called revenge against Tim. He told them all his sins.

Jason turned to Danny, “Do you understand now, Danny-lad, I deserve their anger.”

Danny got up and hugged Jason tight, “You came back angry. It’s not your fault, either.���

“While I’m not too glad to hear about the killings, I understand why you did it. Besides, you’ve left that behind, and you’re taking care of Danny. I’m not here to judge but to take care of my baby brother and sister. And you, Jason, have taken in Danny and protected him. Not many people would do that. So, for that, I thank you.”

Jason almost felt like crying. The Fentons didn’t judge him, and they didn’t refuse to give him their love and forgiveness. Jason felt like he belonged to a family for the first time in a long time.

“Now, it’s time we redecorated. Isn’t that right, big brother?” Jazz asked with a smile.

____

Tim had been able to follow the cold anomaly north. It had disappeared somewhere in Vermont.

“What do you think it is,” Tim asked Barbara.

“I don’t know, but do you think it’s related to Jason disappearing?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.”

“Hmm,” Barbara hummed, “I’m going to set it up for the program to look for this anomaly in Canada. It has disappeared in the continental US; Canada is the only logical conclusion.”

“Should I tell Bruce?”

Barbara sighed, “Let’s give it a few more days and see if anything new comes up. If it doesn’t, we will have to tell him about it, but let him come up with his conclusions. If anything new shows up and leads to Jason, I suggest we observe him first instead of getting the whole family descending on him.”

“What, why?” Tim asked incredulously.

There was silence on the other side.

“Why, Barbara?”

“Tim, Jason left for a reason. There are no signs of struggles, and he took everything he had; he doesn’t want to be found by us. Shouldn’t we honor his wishes?”

“But everyone misses him. Bruce is going crazy looking for him.”

“I love Bruce, but he’s a hypocrite. He ignored Jason when he was right next door, and now that he’s gone, he wants him back. It sounds like he just wants some control, like usual,” Barbara said angrily.

“But Dick is also,” Barbara interrupted him.

“Dick isn’t much better. Look, I love everyone, but how we’ve treated Jason,” she sighed. “If he’s just living his life and not killing people, then I see no reason to make him miserable.”

“If that’s how you feel, why are you helping me look for him?” Tim couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I’m a hypocrite, too.”

Then she hung up.

Dick knows I know about you. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think they’ll ever give up.

Jason put away his phone; he would think about that later. Right now, he wanted to give Jazz all his attention and know what happened to make Danny a cute five-year-old.

“I don’t know how much you know about Danny’s and mine biological parents,” she trailed off while rocking Ellie.

“I heard enough,” Jason answered while Danny said, “Almost everything. Except how I got de-aged ‘cuz even I don’t know or the few days leading up to that.”

Jazz nodded, “good, that’ll make things easier.”

Jazz put a now asleep Ellie on the rocker and looked at Jason and Danny. They were sitting in their new living room. Jason had chosen a little house with the closest neighbor two miles away. They were still in the woods but twenty minutes from a little town with schools, a library, and a general store. Would it be easier to disappear in a city? Maybe. But Danny wouldn’t be able to use his powers as well in the city.

Plus, it’d be easier to avoid Oracle, too.

“Mom and dad were supposed to be out of the house that weekend. They were going to test a new invention. The Fenton Demoleculizer. It was supposed to tear ghosts apart ‘molecule by molecule,’ as they liked to say. It didn’t work that way.”

“Things rarely do,” Danny chirped.

Jazz sighed.

“Ellie had come that weekend to visit. They both took down a ghost and returned them to the Ghost Zone.”

“Stupid Skulker,” Danny added.

“Mom and dad caught them both transforming. They didn’t hesitate; they shot Danny first. Thankfully, I had come down the basement when mom shot Danny. If it had been dad, well, let’s say he’s a horrible shot. Thankfully, the Demoleculizer didn’t work how it was supposed to and only de-aged Danny.”

Jazz sighed and rubbed her eye.

“I was able to get Danny and throw him through the portal, which is how I assume he ended up with you. Mom and dad were furious and thought I was overshadowed. They were ranting about how they didn’t notice their baby boy was dead and were tricked by a filthy ghost. There was no talking to them.”

“In the chaos, Ellie got hit with the Demoleculizer, too. I knew there was no going back at that point, so I got her and went through the portal. Those few minutes must’ve been days here, though, because, well, you know, we didn’t land at the same place or time that Danny had.”

Silence reigned as they all digested what Jazz had said. Jason couldn’t believe any parent would turn against their child that way.

But then again, Sheila did the same to me, he thought.

“So now what,” Jazz asked, “we can’t mooch off you forever, Jason. As much as I appreciate what you’ve done, it isn’t fair that you have to feed three extra mouths now and leave your old haunt for Danny.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s no trouble to me at all. Besides, I already think of Danny as my kid, and parents are there to care for their kids.”

Jason took a deep breath, “Besides, I wasn’t in a good place before Danny. I won’t lie to you guys; I’m not a good guy. I’ve—I’ve killed before; I’ve hurt my family. If anything, I would understand if you guys don’t want to be around me.”

“When you said you’ve killed, have you ever killed innocent people or…?” Jazz left the question hanging.

Jason shook his head and told his story of how he had been killed and returned to life. The Lazarus Pit and League of Assassins were hard to get through, but Danny and Jazz deserved the truth. He told them about his return to Gotham and how he set up a criminal empire. (One that he abandoned for Danny.) He mentioned Titan Towers and his so-called revenge against Tim. He told them all his sins.

Jason turned to Danny, “Do you understand now, Danny-lad, I deserve their anger.”

Danny got up and hugged Jason tight, “You came back angry. It’s not your fault, either.”

“While I’m not too glad to hear about the killings, I understand why you did it. Besides, you’ve left that behind, and you’re taking care of Danny. I’m not here to judge but to take care of my baby brother and sister. And you, Jason, have taken in Danny and protected him. Not many people would do that. So, for that, I thank you.”

Jason almost felt like crying. The Fentons didn’t judge him, and they didn’t refuse to give him their love and forgiveness. Jason felt like he belonged to a family for the first time in a long time.

“Now, it’s time we redecorated. Isn’t that right, big brother?” Jazz asked with a smile.

____

Tim had been able to follow the cold anomaly north. It had disappeared somewhere in Vermont.

“What do you think it is,” Tim asked Barbara.

“I don’t know, but do you think it’s related to Jason disappearing?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.”

“Hmm,” Barbara hummed, “I’m going to set it up for the program to look for this anomaly in Canada. It has disappeared in the continental US; Canada is the only logical conclusion.”

“Should I tell Bruce?”

Barbara sighed, “Let’s give it a few more days and see if anything new comes up. If it doesn’t, we will have to tell him about it, but let him come up with his conclusions. If anything new shows up and leads to Jason, I suggest we observe him first instead of getting the whole family descending on him.”

“What, why?” Tim asked incredulously.

There was silence on the other side.

“Why, Barbara?”

“Tim, Jason left for a reason. There are no signs of struggles, and he took everything he had; he doesn’t want to be found by us. Shouldn’t we honor his wishes?”

“But everyone misses him. Bruce is going crazy looking for him.”

“I love Bruce, but he’s a hypocrite. He ignored Jason when he was right next door, and now that he’s gone, he wants him back. It sounds like he just wants some control, like usual,” Barbara said angrily.

“But Dick is also,” Barbara interrupted him.

“Dick isn’t much better. Look, I love everyone, but how we’ve treated Jason,” she sighed. “If he’s just living his life and not killing people, then I see no reason to make him miserable.”

“If that’s how you feel, why are you helping me look for him?” Tim couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I’m a hypocrite, too.”

Then she hung up.

Dick knows I know about you. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but I don’t think they’ll ever give up.

Jason put away his phone; he would think about that later. Right now, he wanted to give Jazz all his attention and know what happened to make Danny a cute five-year-old.

“I don’t know how much you know about Danny’s and mine biological parents,” she trailed off while rocking Ellie.

“I heard enough,” Jason answered while Danny said, “Almost everything. Except how I got de-aged ‘cuz even I don’t know or the few days leading up to that.”

Jazz nodded, “good, that’ll make things easier.”

Jazz put a now asleep Ellie on the rocker and looked at Jason and Danny. They were sitting in their new living room. Jason had chosen a little house with the closest neighbor two miles away. They were still in the woods but twenty minutes from a little town with schools, a library, and a general store. Would it be easier to disappear in a city? Maybe. But Danny wouldn’t be able to use his powers as well in the city.

Plus, it’d be easier to avoid Oracle, too.

“Mom and dad were supposed to be out of the house that weekend. They were going to test a new invention. The Fenton Demoleculizer. It was supposed to tear ghosts apart ‘molecule by molecule,’ as they liked to say. It didn’t work that way.”

“Things rarely do,” Danny chirped.

Jazz sighed.

“Ellie had come that weekend to visit. They both took down a ghost and returned them to the Ghost Zone.”

“Stupid Skulker,” Danny added.

“Mom and dad caught them both transforming. They didn’t hesitate; they shot Danny first. Thankfully, I had come down the basement when mom shot Danny. If it had been dad, well, let’s say he’s a horrible shot. Thankfully, the Demoleculizer didn’t work how it was supposed to and only de-aged Danny.”

Jazz sighed and rubbed her eye.

“I was able to get Danny and throw him through the portal, which is how I assume he ended up with you. Mom and dad were furious and thought I was overshadowed. They were ranting about how they didn’t notice their baby boy was dead and were tricked by a filthy ghost. There was no talking to them.”

“In the chaos, Ellie got hit with the Demoleculizer, too. I knew there was no going back at that point, so I got her and went through the portal. Those few minutes must’ve been days here, though, because, well, you know, we didn’t land at the same place or time that Danny had.”

Silence reigned as they all digested what Jazz had said. Jason couldn’t believe any parent would turn against their child that way.

But then again, Sheila did the same to me, he thought.

“So now what,” Jazz asked, “we can’t mooch off you forever, Jason. As much as I appreciate what you’ve done, it isn’t fair that you have to feed three extra mouths now and leave your old haunt for Danny.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s no trouble to me at all. Besides, I already think of Danny as my kid, and parents are there to care for their kids.”

Jason took a deep breath, “Besides, I wasn’t in a good place before Danny. I won’t lie to you guys; I’m not a good guy. I’ve—I’ve killed before; I’ve hurt my family. If anything, I would understand if you guys don’t want to be around me.”

“When you said you’ve killed, have you ever killed innocent people or…?” Jazz left the question hanging.

Jason shook his head and told his story of how he had been killed and returned to life. The Lazarus Pit and League of Assassins were hard to get through, but Danny and Jazz deserved the truth. He told them about his return to Gotham and how he set up a criminal empire. (One that he abandoned for Danny.) He mentioned Titan Towers and his so-called revenge against Tim. He told them all his sins.

Jason turned to Danny, “Do you understand now, Danny-lad, I deserve their anger.”

Danny got up and hugged Jason tight, “You came back angry. It’s not your fault, either.”

“While I’m not too glad to hear about the killings, I understand why you did it. Besides, you’ve left that behind, and you’re taking care of Danny. I’m not here to judge but to take care of my baby brother and sister. And you, Jason, have taken in Danny and protected him. Not many people would do that. So, for that, I thank you.”

Jason almost felt like crying. The Fentons didn’t judge him, and they didn’t refuse to give him their love and forgiveness. Jason felt like he belonged to a family for the first time in a long time.

“Now, it’s time we redecorated. Isn’t that right, big brother?” Jazz asked with a smile.

____

Tim had been able to follow the cold anomaly north. It had disappeared somewhere in Vermont.

���What do you think it is,” Tim asked Barbara.

“I don’t know, but do you think it’s related to Jason disappearing?”

“It’s too much of a coincidence for it not to be.”

“Hmm,” Barbara hummed, “I’m going to set it up for the program to look for this anomaly in Canada. It has disappeared in the continental US; Canada is the only logical conclusion.”

“Should I tell Bruce?”

Barbara sighed, “Let’s give it a few more days and see if anything new comes up. If it doesn’t, we will have to tell him about it, but let him come up with his conclusions. If anything new shows up and leads to Jason, I suggest we observe him first instead of getting the whole family descending on him.”

“What, why?” Tim asked incredulously.

There was silence on the other side.

“Why, Barbara?”

“Tim, Jason left for a reason. There are no signs of struggles, and he took everything he had; he doesn’t want to be found by us. Shouldn’t we honor his wishes?”

“But everyone misses him. Bruce is going crazy looking for him.”

“I love Bruce, but he’s a hypocrite. He ignored Jason when he was right next door, and now that he’s gone, he wants him back. It sounds like he just wants some control, like usual,” Barbara said angrily.

“But Dick is also,” Barbara interrupted him.

“Dick isn’t much better. Look, I love everyone, but how we’ve treated Jason,” she sighed. “If he’s just living his life and not killing people, then I see no reason to make him miserable.”

“If that’s how you feel, why are you helping me look for him?” Tim couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I’m a hypocrite, too.”

Then she hung up.

So I don't know yet if I'm going to make that Barbara would help Jason from time to time and actually talked to him (kind of like how she helped him during the Cheers story line) or if she should also be one of the ones who ignored Jason. I'll think it through.

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