#8 is broken bc that line makes me emotional | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

snoopysfriendwoodstock · 6 months ago

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what's ur full ttpd song ranking and why?

omg… this will be long lol

1. who’s afraid of little old me? - taylor has tried “female rage” a couple times now and it always falls flat bc she has to be the victor/mastermind of all of it. mad woman & vigilante shit just kinda suck! FINALLY in this song she sort of admits defeat? i find it really interesting to hear her reflecting on her career & her own view of herself and the public perception of her without her feeling the need to throw a “but i’m okay! and actually i’m winning!” in at the end. also the vocals and theatrics are soooo good i just love it <3

2. the smallest man who ever lived - that ENDING. this takes me back to some very classic taylor songs, especially the dear john bridge or last kiss bridge and as a speak now girl i can’t get enough.

3. the prophecy - both people who love this song and people who hate it reduce it down to “she’s sad she doesn’t have a boyfriend” but imo this song perfectly captures the ACHE of being someone who just always has a little ribbon of loneliness running through them. it’s that dark middle of the night place you can’t let yourself go to. and it’s PERFECT.

4. so high school - i don’t have a lot to say here but this is the song she’s talking abt when she says she’s putting narcotics in them. i love it so much. do that impression you did of your dad again ❤️

5. but daddy i love him - i love her delusional ass! also the “i’m having his baby” line is soooo funny sorry!

6. guilty as sin? - there’s a reason this one’s a fan favorite! it’s just soooo good. there’s nothing wrong with a sexy song.

7. so long, london - “i’m just mad as hell cause i loved this place” is such a taylor line. so simply devastating. i think she got away from just very simply stating her emotions/feelings in her newer albums but this song has soooo many lines that go back to that form of writing that she’s so good at. “stopped trying to make him laugh” is another one that really hits.

8. loml - this hits my favorite genre of taylor swift song that is just so sad it’s almost like oh my god you have to stop… what a valiant roar! what a bland goodbye!

9. the black dog - ik i’m kind of a broken record at this point but “i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me” is SOOOO taylor. very early taylor! and i love the idea of taylor swift having someone’s location on her phone. she is sooo pathetic she’s just like me!

10. the bolter - songs used to be STORIES!

11. the alchemy - i can’t explain it. it just scratches my brain really well. i love how it soundssss

12. fresh out the slammer - i LOVE the chorus on this one. and i love when it slows down at the end and gets kinda weird.

13. clara bow - i LOVE this song. i love how haunting it is i love “you look like taylor swift” i love how pessimistic it is as an album closer. it feels like folklore again w/ hoax as the last song. she said we are NOT in change/long live/begin again/clean/new years day/daylight hours anymore we have LOST hope. in fact it’s super interesting compared to change/long live that are all optimistic about the industry/making a name for herself bc now she’s realized there were other taylor swifts before and there will be other taylor swifts later.

14. how did it end? - another just absolute fucking banger of a sad song. the commentary on fame/the public/her fanbase hits.

15. i hate it here - unfortunately this song is sooooo me it’s not even funny.

16. i can do it with a broken heart - who is this “nobody” that doesn’t know she’s miserable? i love this song it’s so funny. “i cry a lot but i am so productive” is a lyric that was necessary for society

17. my boy only breaks his favorite toys - this song grew on me SO much. it’s so pathetic i love it.

18. florida!!! - this song rocks so hard. i think taylor & florence’s voices compliment each other so much

19. the albatross - i love her voice on this one. she’s here to destroy you!!!

20. the tortured poets department - i love this one i’m sorry. i love the sound i love that it feels like she’s trying something new i love how cringe and desperate it is. also lucy dacus mention!

21. peter - i wish i understood this song the way a lot of people do but it’s simply not my favorite! i do love the way she keeps repeating “you said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me” in the chorus. don’t listen to this & never grow up back to back. it’s not funny.

22. down bad - hated this one at first but it has REALLY grown on me. i love the alien abduction metaphor! “i might just die it would make no difference” is like come on girl get up

23. i look in people’s windows - love this one, don’t listen to it much. but never skip when it’s on. her voice is gorgeous and i loveee the writing on it

24. the manuscript - again, i don’t choose to put this one on much but holy shiiiitttt… now she eats kids cereal? and can only sleep if it’s in her mother’s bed?

25. cassandra - i love the idea of this and it has some great lyrics but i feel like she didn’t quite get it off the ground? i love the bridge. it’s like ALMOST there. cassandra is my favorite mythological figure so maybe i just had really high expectations.

26. imgonnagetyouback - this will for sure rise in the rankings soon bc i’m finally getting it. it’s so fun, just not as good as a lot of the anthology tracks.

27. fortnight - i don’t love this one, but the chorus is really catchy. & post malone’s verse is the best part, that gets stuck in my head all the time.

28. thanK you aIMee - god this song is so funny. “everybody knows my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead!” i’m just kinda sick of these kind of songs from her if that makes sense?

29. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - i’m waiting for this one to click!!! i’m sure it will & there’s parts i REALLY like but i skip it every single time

30. robin - i’m sorry it’s a skip from me. it’s beautiful but i’m never ever wanting to hear it. it’s sweet! but not for me

31. i can fix him (no really i can) - idk the rhythm and tempo of this song doesn’t work for me. it sucks bc her voice is so sexy on this one & i love the pathetic aspect but i always skip. it’s not as bad as my least favorite on other albums tho <3

#long post

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kamiversee · 8 months ago

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okay, i calmed down a bit. holy shit what a chapter. this chapter is possibly one of the most intense chapters you've posted yet, if not the most. the only other chapters that immediately come to mind in terms of emotional intensity are the ones including Gojo's tearful confession and the chapter with the "last kiss." this chapter devastated me on a completely different level. the drama had me reeling and i loved it so fucking much. well done, Kami. really well done.

i'm going to try to not sound like a broken record since you already know my immediate thoughts based off of my past few anons 😭 it's so interesting that Choso immediately goes to call Geto's brother shitty, yet later on in the chapter Geto refers to them at friends. Choso's denials are believable since he does seem like a major introvert and only really goes out of his way to socialize with the reader, but i wonder if we'll ever meet Kenjaku in this fic. or is this a sneak peak as to who we may meet in a certain sequel...? 👀👀👀 KAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! why do i feel like you're going to draw some parallels between Suguru and his brother's relationship to Choso's relationship with Sukuna. i'm not sure how it would go, but if you do choose to do that i feel like it would floor me.

i love that this chapter is unveiling so much of Choso's toxicity holy shit. i know it's all related to his possessive nature, but the anger issues had me taking breaks and walking laps in my room at 1:30 am on a work night. the way he's upset about things we aren't even aware of (how "flirtatious" we come off in a regular conversation) was expected but the way it built up to him exploding was just *chef's kiss*. the way still calls us little pet names, especially after that huge fight, stung me.

not only did this chapter reveal so much about Choso, but it really does solidify how toxic the reader is for him as well. there's no such thing as a perfect character (even though these jjk men get so close) but this was a perfect reminder that despite everything, the reader has her own red flags to work through as well. will she ever? probably not bc holy shit that passage was so perfect and needed. also, who wouldn't act that way in that kind of situation 😭 swatting OUR hand away when HE is the one causing the scene? omfg it got me so mad LMFAOOOO

also the reveal that Sukuna is a physically abusive asshole? omfg. it makes sense for his character but still, the contrast of that info to how we knew him is intense. it's a shame that he's so fucking hot 😭😭😭 with the things he's done, i understand why Choso has the feelings he does. but holy shit dude, the reader didn't know 😭 why tf is he taking it out on her 😭😭😭

Suguru that motherfucker. i hate now smart and intentional he is with every fuckin' action he does in this series. UGH. the way he had me cringing (in a good way) to the point of having to take breathing breaks after practically every line. especially when he said "Go after him, idiot."

KAMI. YOU 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 OH MY GODDDDD. IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS THAT WHAT THE READER IS TO CHOSO, GOJO IS TO THE READER, HOLY SHIT. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY POINTING A NEON-LIGHT ARROW TOWARDS THAT PARALLEL. such a genius way to reuse that line. once i read that, it fucking clicked. the same fucking line Geto says to Gojo in chapter 8 after their first big fight. oh my fucking God Kami. reading that made me have to put down my phone and stare at the ceiling for a bit. so fucking well done. it's lowkey so funny how Geto has been there for so many of the big fights. i'm so fucking excited to see how this develops. my brain is so fried once again.

- ☃️

Smirks. Chat, it’s time for another Kami yap session, LETS GOOOO

1. Gojo’s breakdown chapters & the chapter where Choso leaves (chapter 19 I think) were one of the only chapters that made me tear up while I wrote them😭 Well, aside from the next one I’m abt to drop- ANYWAYS THOUGH, glad you enjoyed it like always ^.^

2. See, here’s the thing about Kenjaku’s mentioning, he was only brought up to show two things; One, Choso has friends and a life outside of the reader, and Two, Choso and Geto have more of a connection/knowledge of each other than what might’ve been expected :)

It’s also another slight anime reference bc like I’ve said previously, I do tend to mirror things such as friend groups or actions to the way things are done in the anime & Choso’s appearance was always made with Kenjaku so, why not make that a factor here yk?🤷‍♀️

3. There actually are already some parallels ^.^

Notice how Choso calls Kenjaku shitty & Suguru snaps back by saying Choso’s brother (Sukuna obv) isn’t any better. Then, you also have Yuki who points out that both men haven’t told the reader anything about these terrible brother’s of theirs, despite both men having connections & intimate moments with her.

It’s kinda meant to show that there is a lot the reader simply doesn’t know. That was honestly somewhat the point of the past few drama chapters! There’s a list of things she learns all in the span of one day, from Gojo’s obsession to Sukuna being abusive— she learned all of that within a single day.

Anywho, the parallel is simply that the men who she claims as her type both have done similar things to her in regards to opening up🤷‍♀️

4. I wanna note that a lot of people are calling Choso’s actions here toxic. Now, I’m not going to disagree of course but, I will just say, his moment of blowing up isn’t unnatural. Choso’s not the best with his feelings, as we can see, and imagine you’re in his shoes for a moment.

How would you react to everything he was just told? Do you think you wouldn’t have blown up as he did? Especially when you consider how passionate he is about his brothers, more specifically, Yuji.

Just wanted to throw that out there! Yes, he shouldn’t have yelled the way he did but this is something that’d been building up & because he’s such an introvert (I am too ngl) it’s not unusual for him to have a sudden outburst as he did seeing as he typically keeps his thoughts and emotions inside rather than wearing them on his sleeve :)

5. Yep, I want people to understand that she herself is not perfect in anyway. The reader just gaslit the hell out of Choso & played on the fact that he believes she knew nothing about Sukuna.

NOW before y’all jump on our mc, while it is toxic & bad, she only does that for the benefit of everyone if you think about it. I said this earlier but she has learned a shitload of info in one day. With that, she’s just as stressed and tensed as Choso is atm so she uses her situation in order to manipulate Choso into telling her the truth about everything.

Think about it, she could never manipulate Gojo into telling her his truth and as said, the last thing she wanted was to go through that again, especially with someone like Choso who typically tells her everything.

Yes, yes it is bad that she did that but in a way, it was for something positive such as forcing Choso to open up to her. Not only that, it also gives her a path to reveal other things to him ^.^

6. Again, Choso didn’t exactly mean to blow up on her but he’s been tense the entire time so it was bound to happen. He’s not blaming her, he’s just upset and is unsure of how to properly express tht as we can see💀

And I think I said this to a few anons so far but, who knows the last time Choso & Sukuna interacted with one another? Given that & based on what the reader experienced, we don’t know how long ago Choso saw Sukuna be abusive to women, now Yuji on the other hand is different ofc because Choso clearly states Yuji’s current age and that kinda shows that tht abuse is ongoing.

7. When I tell you, I WAS SMILING SO HARD AS I WROTE TS. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE making parallels so I literally went back to the chapter with Gojo & Geto just to recall what Geto said to him and then I was like “Yup, time to reuse this shit😈”

AHH I LOVE DOING THT SM UGHHH

But yesyes;

Gojo —> Reader —> Choso

It’s so perfect too ^.^

Ty for reading, mwah, ily <33

#kamiversee!answers #k!ans: ☃️

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nochi-quinn · 2 years ago

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legend of vox machina season 2 episode 8: echo tree OR more like incel tree amirite

sam is the "nice melons" npc bc of course he is

imagine the twins using their old tricks to duck the guards and it doesn't work bc that was over a decade ago

hello Elf Guard Matt

"we're his children" (derogatory)

"I've known many people with money and titles. They are definitely not worth you."

VELORA

the twins are not immune to velora and neither am I

"your father will be pleased to see you" I doubt that

"if you'd notified me you'd be gracing us with your presence" has this man never heard of an emergency

"if you've come for my money - or my goats - I don't have any!" wilhand

"real vestments!" I don't know why that's so adorable to me but here we are

"did you forget to eat??" eating is one of the three things grog actually knows how to do

"hi, pop-pop. I fucked up" me every time I call my parents

"what can syngorn do for you?" directed very specifically at percy, fuck everybody else

oh I just realized he's probably shitty about keyleth too, since she's also a half-elf

a second-generation half-elf, at that

my partner: does he not realize vax is wearing deathwalker's ward me: he doesn't care, that's human shit

"do you have any idea the burden your sudden arrival has caused my family?" I regret to inform you that this is in fact also your family

and now we know what role vex played in this emotional abuse hellpit

"you might just wanna avert your eyes" she literally confirmed that grog's dick didn't get acided off for him

if that's how scanlan 'works both ends' I am terribly sorry for any of his partners

it took me three watches to realize he's whistling Pull My Beads Of Love

percy spending that whole meeting trying desperately to figure out which House he could give to Vex without Cass shanking him

"what does 'fuck you' mean?" little pitchers have big ears

(didn't they on-purpose teach her the word 'shit' in the campaign)

if we get byroden flashbacks are they gonna be exu-compliant

"somehow I feel like it hurt me more" relationships! with! abusive! parents! are! complicated!

ew, tree gunk

he finally called her stubby, I can die happy

I knew where they were going as soon as he said "stimulation"

big "not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'" energy

I enjoy Transition Frog

garmelie: don't submit to his voice vex, already extremely emotionally compromised: ✔✔

look, I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but I don't think I could look at something a child made for me with their own two tiny little hands and just casually break it in front of them

not even just my child. any child.

yeah, come to think of it, even vax doesn't Get It, bc he never wanted syldor's approval, or at least got over the want very quickly.

(fun fact, every time I type or say "syldor" I have to force myself not to say "isildur"

look at this. this is insane. I'm obsessed with this shot.

the feywild is using all of percy's black powder, he better hope victor survived.

I'm glad we got the "if I could pull the blood of him from my veins" line but it was so, so good when she was yelling it at her dad

vax now is not the time to ask keyleth to touch your butt

"dear broken vex'ahlia" if the word 'broken' is literally in your proposal there might be something fucked up about it mb

vex: my heart is someone else's percy: oh? do I know them?

incel tree saundor

"how do you fight a tree?" with a druid

I reluctantly admit him making the arrows out of his palm is pretty cool

I also love a good upside-down arrow shot

vex Jungle Sliding for her life

god I love keyleth so much

the way it springs open inside the stab wound is A+

mala: of course it survived, bc percy 100% expected her to stab a man with it

"he is who he's always been" "I know. and so am I." I am foaming at the mouth over this, at vex knowing she needs to work on parts of herself before she can actually confront her dad

there is SO MUCH nuance and middle ground between "still being actively abused" and "full no-contact" but it's more viscerally satisfying to show the Salt The Earth Behind You fight instead of the long, slow, painful work of attempting reconciliation

tl;dr reconciliation is a thing and I wish more stories used it even though it's complicated and subjective

"I usually hate the theater"

"how did that appear? how did tvs just appear? and really old tvs, based on the make and the year?"

this motherfucker

"he killed me with them" grog backstory GROG BACKSTORY

westruun is my favorite arc okay, I apologize for nothing

#crititag #lovmtag #critical role #the legend of vox machina #liveblog #reaction post #spoilers

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the-cat-chat · 20 days ago

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October 19, 2024

Caddo Lake (2024)

When an 8-year-old girl disappears on Caddo Lake, a series of past deaths and disappearances begin to link together, altering a broken family's history.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: This movie is listed as horror, which is what placed it in Spooky Month this October. But really is isn't a horror movie in my opinion at all, more of a mystery/thriller. So in retrospect, not a movie that fits the theme.

Anyways, I have to preface this by saying I do love Dylan O'Brien, so I was predisposed to like this movie from the beginning. And I don’t think it disappointed. If you like the (spoiler!) travel travel genre, like I do, then it’s a solid story. It’s not perfect by any means, like I won’t be talking about it to my grandchildren, but it’s good.

I like the mystery aspect as always. I'm very proud of Anzie and I for collectively predicting what was going on pretty early on, although it did lessen the emotional impact of the "big twist." It isn't too confusing for a time travel movie, since we didn't even have to look anything up after we finished it cause we understood what was going on. The time travel itself (the specific hows and whatever) are kept very vague and unexplored. I feel like the movie is trying to communicate a theme about man's destruction of nature and connecting it to the time travel, but it feels like an afterthought.

The time travel is important, yes, but truly this is more of a family drama from multiple angles. I wish they explain more of the relationship between the main girl and her stepfather. From what I can understand, he raised her from a very young age, but all of a sudden she has this big resentment for him and I don't exactly know why. Is this a recent change? What was the inciting incident? And I think the movie spends just a bit too much time setting everything up, and as a result, the time travel portions and the conclusion feel too rushed.

Rating: 6.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: Okay so the trailer for this movie is veryyy misleading. And I figured what’s spookier than a swamp and a child going missing, that’s a literal nightmare. And real. I mean swamps are scary without missing children or people in general. And kidnapping stuff (which I assumed it was) is also ridiculously frightening, it’s part of the reason I had to stop watching Criminal Minds. Anywaaaay. It’s not scary or spooky so we kinda messed up but we can blame Dylan O’Brien’s cute face, BUT, BUUTTTT, I have to say I realllly loved it and it might be my favorite movie we’ve watched all year, next to Scream. But it’s also time travel (sorrrrry) which I haaaate. Bc it makes my little worm brain hurt(do worms even have brains?) but it was fun figuring out that this was a time jump concept and the fact that the line between this time and whenever it was to jump back to WAS in the swamp- is creepy. But to get me to love time travelly whatever- the movie has to be good. I will say I was mad at the ending but a girl can’t have everything she wants right? Like he and his kid should meet rigggght- for like two secondssss. Also, what’s the mom’s problem?? I know but she also seems extra hostile? And the family treee uuugh my brain but I with it. I hate it but I’ll accept it. It’s just so crazy but it’s a fun movie to piece the parts and be entertained.

Rating: 8/10 Cats 🐈‍⬛

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hyperfixation-hideout · 1 year ago

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That part of the FNDM(TM): we want female characters with flaws!

Female character: acts questionably

Fan: points out the questionable actions

That part of the FNDM(TM): nooooooooo she is perfect and good and you thinking she EVER did ANYTHING not perfect or in line with my hc is sexist and homophobic and evil!

I'm not a Yang hater, and I get how dramatic irony works, but the way none of the characters seemed to notice something was seriously Up with Ruby felt like a stretch of my personal suspension of disbelief.

Yang DID try to talk to Ruby in Volume 8, but when Ruby expressed her fears and doubts, Yang did what most of the mains (Oscar being the exception) always do when Ruby exhibits doubts -- told her how much they need her and how good a leader she is and that she did her best and how her optimism is what keeps them going, etc., even comparing her to SUMMER in a way that framed her sacrifice as a good thing while Ruby feels she's following in her footsteps.

Yang saw Ruby break down when Salem mentioned Summer in v7, but I do get that being an easily misinterpretable moment on Yang's part. Comparing Ruby to Summer was something she intended as comfort. It made sense for her character in that moment.

But v9? We're past that. Yang noticed SO LITTLE of Ruby's mental struggles, and when she DID ask and Ruby began to express worry, Yang shut her down by outright TELLING her "no you don't mean that" and comparing her to IRONWOOD for so much as having similar fears. Imagine being Ruby, who bottles her emotions and clearly feels bad for having negative ones, and hearing your sister compare you to the man who tried to bomb a city of innocents the moment you open up. Oof.

They all have a lot on their minds, and I appreciate bumbleby getting focus, so this isn't about taking from that. But aside from one shockingly brief check-in from Yang and Weiss, both of which resulted in Ruby shutting down further, WBYJ acted so oblivious with her it kinda baffled me...

If it was intentional and gets brought up that'll be one thing, and they did talk (again, briefly) about how they've been putting too much pressure on Ruby (only AFTER she broke down and yelled that fact at them point-blank), and I loved that! But the way the finale ended with WBY all telling her the SAME SHIT they have been -- putting her on a pedestal, Yang saying Ruby's "NEVER been ANY of those things" [weak, broken, or confused], Blake saying "that's why we follow her" and Ruby SMILING at it? Rubs me the wrong way. Ruby had been confused all volume! Last volume, too! She just tried to potentially kill herself! And right after her telling you to stop expecting perfection from her, you go right back to saying you follow her BECAUSE she's never confused or weak??

Momentary relief her sister is okay & the battle at hand distracting Yang? Cool, makes sense! But Yang in c9, after watching Ruby essentially attempt suicide, took it way too well to feel right to me (also as an older sibling). If my little sister's close friend died, if she blamed herself for the fall of a kingdom, if she fainted in front of me, if I watched her try to end her life, I would NOT have been as chill as Yang. She tried to pull off some branches and said "what if she isn't Ruby when she comes out?" but other than that? It wasn't enough for me. Yes, everyone's different, but if you want to communicate care between sisters, I need more than that. [Note: I well may be forgetting something, but even that is indicative the impact was insufficient for me]

Imagine Yang bolting for Ruby as she drinks the tea. Imagine her lashing out at Neo but hitting an illusion instead and breaking down. Imagine her being uncomforted by the paper pleasers becoming gems, or irritated with Jaune for stopping when they need to find Ruby ASAP. Imagine her ripping off the branches and needing to be physically held back while she cries and yells to be let go, as her teammates convince her to stop bc she might be hurting her. "So what, I'm supposed to do NOTHING? Just stand around and lose her?" Imagine her FURY at the curious cat and Neo blinding her in battle. Imagine Ruby's return distracting her and almost getting hit because of it, only prevented because Blake stepped in to have her back, and that being the only reason she doesn't rush to embrace her sister. Imagine her hugging Ruby afterwards and asking if she's okay, and Ruby saying something along the lines of, "No. But I will be." to which Yang responds, "That's okay. Take all the time you need." Or even, "We can talk about it later, if you want," And Ruby smiling. "I'd like that."

Just... ANYTHING to make it feel like they're sisters, like Yang sees her, like anything that just happened affected the way WBY treats her/talks about her. And we may get more of that in v10, I understand time constraints are a thing, but we needed SOME of it in v9 to have the message land.

Please don't take this as hate towards the character; I understand she's fictional and everyone reacts to grief differently. I just wish we'd gotten more, or at minimum greater intensity with what we did get. When I mentioned in the v8 finale that I wished Ruby's reaction to Yang falling had gotten more focus or been more intense, I got hate asks calling me a lesbophobe with a hate boner for bumbleby (even though I'd clarified in the post that I LIKED Blake's reaction to Yang falling and this was unrelated, and I'm sapphic, and I ship bumbleby), so I'm hoping this isn't taken as that, too. All I mean by this is that, for ME, Yang's reactions and lack thereof felt disingenuous to the character as well as to their sisterhood, and I hope going forward this is acknowledged and/or rectified.

EDIT: Gonna go back and check and update if I missed stuff cause I probably did

Ok so we have

Ruby faints; when she comes to, Yang puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "Hey, are you alright?" (A lil casual for the situation but eh I digress on that one.) Ruby doesn't answer, changing the subject back to Neo with, "She attacked me when we were falling." Found it odd no one else expressed concern over her fainting... unless you count Weiss' "I know that Penny... I know that was a lot to hear" but that was later in the next episode, and again, Ruby didn't reply, and Weiss returned to treating Ruby oddly harshly for much of the volume.

This is a good time for me to re-clarify that Ruby being shut off made it hard for her team to check in with her, even in the moments they did try, but they acted like it was way more minor than it was overall, and from Yang in particular, I would've expected more... I dunno, insistence? Attempts? Persistence? Girl, at least walk beside her in worry she'll faint again?? Or react to Jinxy saying Ruby "doesn't have enough hope" to fill a jar?

2. Ruby sits sadly, cradling Penny's sword and looking down on it. Yang says, "Ruby?" Ruby says she was drawn to it. It rains, Weiss complains about it and yells at the team. Ruby represses again. The rain stops.

3. Ruby stops in her tracks and looks sad after the cat calls into question how they can defeat Salem. Yang goes, "Uh, hey? Rubes?" Ruby says, "I- uh-" and Blake cuts her off with "Maybe we shouldn't worry about home right now? We've got enough problems to--" Yang: "The cat!"

NO ONE but Little stays with Ruby in the markets... Yang immediately says she'll go with the cat, Blake follows, Weiss says "get me FAR away from the nose hairs" and Little says "I'll go with you, Ruby!" No one so much as offered. OMG even when Ruby's on her knees in the battle Yang runs right past her with a grin bc she's normal size again.

4. Ruby says "We lost Atlas and the relic." and then adds "what good is saving anybody if Salem just destroys the world anyway?" Yang puts a hand on her shoulder and says, "That's how Ironwood thought. You don't mean that." Jaune angrily interrupts, "Are you done?" So that time Yang didn't even ASK, Ruby just expressed worry and Yang told her no you don't feel that, that's bad.

Still SHOCKED at everyone's reaction (or lack thereof) at Ruby lingering in the paper village all sadly and not joining the battle. Weiss snaps at her, Jaune yells at her and blames her (for HIS plan???)

5. When Jaune drops Crescent Rose and Ruby backs away so it hits the ground, Yang goes, "Ruby? You o--" and gets cut off, but like??? NO?? Obviously she's not okay? You should know this by now???

And that's everything before Ruby's breakdown at them all.

So yes, there are multiple moments of Yang beginning to reach out, but "are you ok" and "rubes?" are like, the BARE minimum of worry imo. I'm not trying to go "Yang is a bad sister 100%" or anything btw! Just that I wish ALL the characters took more notice, ESPECIALLY Yang. And even if they didn't, after she attempted suicide? There's no excuse to not realize how bad it was.

People are really out here trying to convince themselves that Ruby's suffering in volume nine is so hard to perceive so that they can try to convince everyone that Yang is perfect and her not really noticing Ruby needed help was totally fine and good when like..... Ruby literally fainted.

Like, even if the rest of the signs Ruby was displaying weren't like a giant neon sign reading 'I'm not okay' that Yang ignored - even if Yang hadn't completely ignored when Weiss and Ruby stopped walking to have a serious conversation, even if Yang didn't take more than a moment or two for a short 'are you okay' and then bought the obvious deflection, even if Yang hadn't shut down the time when Ruby actually started trying to express feelings of hopelessness and frustration by telling her she was being like the villainous and hated Ironwood, even if Yang didn't try to dispute anything Ruby was saying during her angry breakdown and didn't stop Jaune from screaming in her face and didn't immediately try to run after Ruby when she ran off alone crying, even if she wasn't a smiling beaming hugging person like five minutes after Ruby tried to kill herself, even if Yang didn't immediately start acting like Ruby was a good perfect leader who has never been confused directly after Ruby told them that she didn't want to be the leader anymore and didn't want to be treated like she was perfect......

Ruby literally

And Yang??? Was not that concerned???? Like bro if I ever fainted in front of my family??? They would want to call the doctor. They would be flipping out. Like, yeah, maybe I'm a little frustrated that Yang's reaction to Ruby's problems is like

When Ruby passed out. I'm sorry to the people who are on the "how could Yang have known that Ruby was feeling bad" train, but

Ruby quite literally fainted. And then had a breakdown while crying. And then ran away and tried to kill herself. And Yang's like

And people are like "idk what you're talking about, seems like the reaction of a great sister who cares about Ruby more than life itself and knows her better than anyone and raised her all by her lonesome and is always there for her and always knows best."

Bro just let??? People say that they think Yang is wrong???

#tagging for blacklisters:#rwde #crtq #rwby9 #quin additions

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beacon-lamp · 2 years ago

Note

Hey beacon long time no see!

I have a confession to make: Even tho I've followed you for ages I've avoided your hermitcraft propaganda posts so hard. NOT BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE THE HERMITS THO!! It's because I knew I wouldn't have the time to watch more than 1-2 povs (when I know I'll want to watch way more) or to catch up on previous seasons because I was already involved in watching dsmp streams and all their videos.

And then my interests in the dsmp start drifting and by May I've started binging some animes and mangas my friend was recommending me and I'm about halfway out of mcyt at that point

BUT THEN I start seeing double life fanart appear on my dash, and I realize there's a new life saga series (Does. Does anyone know what to call it? I know it's trafficblr but like. life saga makes the most sense right? It's what I'm calling it anyways). And I'm like "oooooo, third and last life were fun, I should watch the first episode of this!" (I came last to the party for the previous series so I really wanted to be on time for this one)

And so I watch Grian's first episode because he's the hermit I'm most familiar with and. it's so fun. It's got me hook, line, and sinker. I remember how much of a blast is it to watch Grian, I have to watch more.

So I binge Grian's season 8, then catch up on season 9; I realize I'm having such a great time every time Scar's on screen, so I binge his season 9 and am about to finish binging his season 8- and beacon. I'm ASHAMED I didn't find Scar sooner. I almost had a cow seeing he only had 1.8 million subs when I was subbing to him because WHAT. I've banned myself from eating or drinking while watching his videos because I've almost spat on my laptop multiple times from laughing. His kindness and positivity and wise words have made me emotional too many times to count, and reminds me how much being kind is worth it. I would literally fistfight gods on a sea of broken glass for Scar- Alright I have to shut myself up or I'll write a college thesis about that man.

I still haven't read those propaganda posts btw lmao. But I do want you to know I've been kidnapped into being a hermitcraft fan and I'm so happy about it (I was literally kidnapped against my will tho I swear; I was trying to get into a manga SO BAD but then my brain saw double life and said "mmmm, these minecraft men. I want more of these guys, screw everything else" and then I completely forgot about any other interests alskdgh)

ANYWAYS, sorry for such a long ask! I just thought you'd be interested in knowing that I'm in the hermit and trafficblr community now!

You don't have to post this ask if you don't want to btw, but if you do, quick question: who's your favorite hermit? (I ask this like I know who all of them are alsdgh, I wish I did but there's just so many of them, I'm trying so hard tho)

squish!!! hallo!!!

hahaha this ask made me smile so much, hope it's ok i'm only just now answering it

im very glad you're in the hermitblr/trafficblr community now i'm sure everyone is happy to have you hahaha what'd you think of the double life finale, if you've watched it?

grian is fantastic and the Grian Effect is so real; you start off just watching him and then you blink and suddenly you're trying to keep up with 5 different people's upload schedules.

and i agree, scar is criminally underrated/under-subscribed; i remember watching him hit 1M subs and just being So Happy for him. i need that man to hit 2M subs immediately, he's at 1.92M now. (honestly a lot of the hermits are just under-subscribed i've watched so many of them hit 1M subscribers since the end of season 6 and i am so happy for all of them)

i don't know if i could pick one hermit as a favorite bc i follow pretty much all of them; i watch them based on like the ~vibes~ i'm feeling that day. bdubs almost never fails to bring a smile to my face tho and he interacts with so many hermits so if you haven't checked him out already, you should.

#squish #squish--squash #hallo friend v happy to see you in my inbox #sorry the reply is so late #ty for the askkk :)#long post

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saintobio · 3 years ago

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Hi saint! I just wanted to tell you how much i love your story, and it makes me sad to hear you’re having a bad time :( writing should be fun for the author! We’d be so sad if you dropped SY but we’d understand! Take care of yourself! But also while there’s the negative Nancys out there, I’m sure there’s much more positive interactions out there! I include myself! I’ve been having a rough time and reading SN/SY has seriously made my days better event though it’s full of angst haha. Thank you for making a difference to those of us that appreciate your writing, and regardless if I agree with a character or not, they’re YOUR characters who you’ve thought about and created these stories for. And besides the 20k+ word count? I LOVE IT, it sometimes feels like 2k words and not enough 😣

I loved the latest chapter and I heard happier as I believe one of your posts had recommended? I’ve listened to that song before but after reading chapter 8, MY GOD. the song broke my heart 🥲 I understand that y/n told Satoru to move on and utahime was there for him in his lowest times, so it makes sense their relationship evolved to that but I STILL will root for y/n and Satoru be together in the end 😭 “and I thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past” like… this line? I want to believe she still has intense feelings for him, based on this song and all the character interviews but IDK 😭 I’m hoping time apart, being with other people, a coparenting relationship for sachiro will help them grow, heal and find their way back to each other 😍

@ao-minecchi said

ugh my poor saint, all i wanna do is give you the biggest hug ever, i swear. honestly, whatever you choose to do with this series and the future, you have my support 10000000%. I try not to send any asks that may come off as offensive to others, but it really annoys me to see the audacity and absolute ignorance that people can show towards your complex and beautiful writing, and extremely hard work. this is something we get to read FOR FREE, and something you dedicate yourself to all while having a job, and trying to live your personal life, too. i wish i could put my frustration into my words but i’m such a dunce when it comes to that but,i really, really want you to know i’ll always support you. :,) i always look forward to your posts, whatever they may be, or whatever you want to discuss because you’re truly one of my favorite people on tumblr. i hope you know so many of us will always be in your corner and are always here to give you all the extra love and support you may need. sending all my love and support as well. <33 (sorry if this made no sense, my head is so scrambled. T_T)

Anonymous said

i’m sorry that people are making you not want to continue this story! i hate that they can’t comprehend that this story is complex and full of angst with characters who are just as complex and who might not make decisions that would make everything instantly better. but that’s why this story is sooo amazing, bc it’s realistic in the fact that not everything is always going good, some things don’t have a happy ending. it’s a beautiful story! it’s raw, complex, broken but so well written. like if this was a book in a store i would buy it in a heartbeat. hope you don’t let them get to you but if you do decide to stop writing it, i support you 100%. <3

Anonymous said

saint, i beg you not give up on us as your readers. we love what you are writing and through it we would know how sy ending going to be. that one anon who blames you just got no akhlaq. so girl keep doing what you’re doing!!! saint best author <33

Anonymous said

Saint

Some of actually love your work and we love you tbh.. so we need you to prioritize your emotional well-being..♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

@sagekko said

hey saint,

not a question again 😂 sorry for wasting ur time(maybee), but I just wanna say thank u for ur astonishing unparallel creativity, whenever u release a new chapter of sy I prepare myself beforehand to not get a heart attack but u always manage to kill me, give me anxiety for days and make me tear up!!!! im just in awee, u're amazing istg, I talk about how brilliant u are to all of my friends and they're like shut up we get it but i'm like nooo 😂😭 that's not even the half of it, I have more to tell u about herrrr

& I saw that u're thinking of quitting and I just wanted to say that ur work is so special, rare and original, people like to tear others down, I'm sorry if u received any kind of hate🥺 and no matter what decision u'll make, I'll, alongside every other reader of urs; support you 4evaa.

sending u lots of love and positivity 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍.

Anonymous said

tbh is you feel the need to drop SY or put it on hiatus you should. your mental health is more important than a fan fiction. the haters can suck my non-existent dick.

Anonymous said

TO MY FELLOW READERS, this is a friendly reminders that writers/authors are the god of their own work. They write what they want and they get to decide what the characters’ fate CAUSE IT’S THEIR STORY and we’re not to dictate them of what we want them to write just to match our feelings and emotions.

IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT’S HAPPENING IN THE STORY OR YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF THE SCENARIOS YOU WANTED DIDN’T HAPPEN THEN DROP IT OR WRITE YOUR OWN.

I’m so pissed. Saint, I love your works huhu please don’t stop writing😭 always take care.

Anonymous said

hey saint! sorry you are feeling bad and frustrated, its totally valid. some of these anons need to realize it is not that deep. they are not yn. as a recommendation turn off the anon option like you did in your main (I saw another reader with this idea) at least just for a few chapters. if you still get this insane hate and stupid asks, you can block the people since they won't be anon

Anonymous said

I some how feel with the influx of bullshit your receiving, that people dropped your story on tiktok or something. The vile things people are spouting even in comments regarding Hime’s infertility is disgusting. In Hime’s case, her infertility isn’t permanent and we all know Gojou has super swimmers. If i knew POS wouldn’t make miscarriage comments, i’d enjoy Hime being pregnant even if it physically sickens me because of pure spite for the people who can’t handle MATURE, fictional works of art.

Anonymous said

Lmao people should really think like a writer.

As a reader I'm bias to certain characters but when I'm in writing mode i have to be neutral and give some "fairness" to all characters. I feel like discussions like these should be among the readers and not directly to you saint.

Anonymous said

To that one anon,

Please just step out for a bit. If you don't like how the story is going right now so much, just get out. You obviously can't handle rising actions. You don't get the point and the meaning behind the events in the story. Just wait for it to end, then read it. Just don't comment anything. It's not even finished yet. You're acting as if the fates of the characters have already been announced. And to accuse the author of being biased, how dare you

Anonymous said

THE AUDACITY OF THAT ANON OH MYGOD! They obviously doesn't understand the story and it's point. Please don't get bothered by people like them Saint. You have lots of supporters who trusts you and we all know that you know what you're doing. Shake them off, Saint. You're doing great.

Anonymous said

To that anon who basically called Saint biased:

what the fuck? we're only in episode 7 why are acting like as if it's already decided for the characters? You think Saint is being biased because Utahime's character got things going her way right now, but do you think it will be like that for the rest of story? The author knows what she's doing, sit down and wait for the story to unfold. y'all frustrating.

Anonymous said

Saint I'm so sorry that some readers get exhausting here 😔 Like yeah I'm mad at Gojohime too, but so was I at Sera&Gojo, Sophia etc... As long as YN gets her justice and happiness at the end I'll keep my sanity 💆🏻‍♀️... People really need to lay back and look forward for YN taking care of things, girl still needs to understand wtf is just happening. I really hope that you'll stop getting asks, that make you uncomfortable. Take care of yourself and thank you for your hard work 🛐🌻💐💓

@femhades said

hello! im so sorry that some anons are making you feel emotionally exhausted. sometimes i do feel annoyed too when you have to repeat your stance again and again, when people disregard the characters development in the series again and again, when people are rude in your asks/comments section and you entertain them anyways again and again. there's nothing much else i can say other than that if you feel that dropping sy would end this mess and make yourself happier, do it. by the end of the day, it's your story and efforts, so why should you listen to other people? there's seriously no reason for you to put your concerns on the back burner. do whatever that makes you happy (: every 50 hateful anons on this blog, there will be another 100 anons that are here to support you and i am one of them.

go read some manhwas, have a good meal and rest. you deserve it the most right now ((:

Anonymous said

They seem to lack reading comprehension… I’m so sorry, Saint. You’ve done an excellent job with this story.

I feel that your DEVOTION is overlooked by these unneeded comments. Your writing is compelling, dimensional and knotty (in the best way possible), the way you layered things attentively. You’ve given so much color and flavor to your work!

You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. You’ve only made smart, considerate decisions.

🤍

Anonymous said

This is for you

Honestly I'm very thankful that you wrote sy and sn I hope you don't drop it. But if you ever feel stressed out you deserve a break at any time you want it's your book your rules. Sn and sy are amazing books and I hope you don't pay attention to all the negativity that you get and of course stay happy and healthy.

I wish you the best and I love your book and thank you for writing it again ❤️❤️❤️

Really this is the only book that's keeping me happy during my depression

(sorry for the bad grammar and spelling mistakes)

hello hello hellooo i’m sorry i can’t respond to everyone but i do appreciate these words of encouragement :’( i’m just very, very disappointed this weekend bc i was rly looking forward to write sy8 and interact w u guys, but the moment i opened my askbox, there’s just so much unnecessary discourse and negativity. i guess it was a cherry on top on an already stressful week and i felt like i had no space to breathe. the fact that some asks i receive are just plain ridiculous too.

ngl it’s been making me think twice abt continuing the series bc i feel like i’m giving u guys my 101% pumping out 15-20k words a chapter and yet some people can be so entitled and ungrateful and just rude. but i know many of u aren’t like that so i guess that’s what’s really keeping me going T^T

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

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sapphire-knight · 4 years ago

Text

You guys are giving me way too much power by letting me talk about acting

@minecant you wanted me to rant about Techno and Wilbur's acting? Well, you asked for it

Let's start with Techno bc I realized something this morning and I cannot get it out of my head, let's go.

Techno has a really peculiar way of acting compared to anyone else, his character is a lot more aware of the fourth wall than any other character is, and actually having to keep in check a character that, to certain acting degrees, could be almost considered self-aware is actually harder than you can imagine, and of course everything that's kinda hard in scripted acting goes to a whole new level of difficoult in improv; but on the other hand, his type of acting (more specifically: the voice acting) is on the same page of 3 other characters: Tubbo, Fundy and Niki. Follow me on this, alright? The basically only thing that these 4 characters, that narratively are so different from each other,is the way they are voiced. All four of then have a really specific way of talking and talking pattern, to the point where even if you were to put the voices in a voice-changer you could still know what character is talking just because of the way they talk. Let me elaborate: Fundy usually his voice doesn't let a lot of emotions through and his speech is usually straight to the point, keeping his tone medium and trying to keep his voice relaxed; Niki's usual tone is soft and lighter, is easy to not hear it with her low tone of voice and higher pitch that give her a kinder undertone; Tubbo's tone is also one in a softer scale and lower of volume, but where Niki is easy to miss Tubbo lets a bit more emotion in all phrases to make himself pop out, he doesn't tend to go straight to the point in conversations and his tone is pretty much constant; Techno doesn't let emotions shine through his voice, more like Fundy, but to the extreme, keeping a completly monotone type of speech in basically all the situations and isn't very talkative, a character that talks one when he feels like it's needed and goes straight to the point of the conversation, not caring how that makes him come across to the other characters.

These 4 have incredibly set in stone characters, keeping always to their own set of acting rules for them. It's not easy to set yourself acting rules for your characters in an improv, but if you manage to do it's an in incredible help. Even Wilbur's character was more unhinged under that point of view, his "standard" continuing to change slightly as his mental stage declined.

But you know where does the actual strenght of having these things set in stone for your characters? That the emotions are a lot more powerfull. Let's think about it, why most of the emotive scene shock us? You can usually feel the emotions because the tone of voice lets these emotions through, it hits you because it wasn't there before, it's a switch between the usual voice and the emotive one, it gives you whiplash, but why am I talking about this?

Because these characters are able to express their emotions with a lot more power, because they always talk in a really specific way, you get used ti their tone and speech pattern without noticing it, so you maybe not actually understand it, but your brain notices when the pattern breaks, and since it is a really set in stone one, when it gets broken the whiplash is extreme. Just like when Niki rebelled against Schlatt, the whiplash was her raising her voice and abandoning the soft tone she always used, but kept the classic amount of emotions in her voice, the same thing happens with Techno and his speech: some emotions start to get throught, he doesn't get to the point quickly as always, instead he keeps on talking with extreme confidence in every word, the same confidence he always has. Whiplash guys, whiplash.

I didn't mention Quackity as one of the set-in-stone-speaking characters, because he switches too much to set the rules enough to shock when broken. I'm not saying at all that he isn't a good actor, on the contrary, his acting just works on different bases, example, Try looking at the Quackity vs Schlatt argument compared to the Tubbo vs Tommy: when Quackity got angry it wasn't expected, it was a bit alienating, it didn't feel like the Quackity we know because it was incredibly different than how his character speaks, too different (Which still isn't bad, at all, that scene was phenomenal); when Tubbo got angry it still felt like Tubbo, you could still pinpoint it was Tubbo even without hearing his voice, because even if the voice is raised, the amount of emotions is the same and the speech pattern is the same, just to the next level. So yeah.

I don't even feel like talking about Techno's lines tho, these are amazing under every technical point of view and you guys know that, so let's go to Wilbur.

Wilbur, Wilbur, Wilbur, where can I begin with Wilbur? Not only he had an extraordinary arc for his own character, he also wrote an incredible story- this guy's voice acting is off the charts in every way possible, are you telling me he didn't take acting classes as a kid? i do not believe you. Like, at all. He has a perfect hang on his voice, but this could be because he's also a singer: expressing emotions during songs is harder than you think, because you cannot let emotions ruin your exibition by making your voice crack at the wrong part or making you mess up the timing, but you also need to let them shine through or the voice will seem flat and Wil knows that perfectly, just listen to Your City gave me asthma and you'll understand what I'm going on about here.

Wilbur Soot is a showman. He manovrated the stage to shine a spotlight on himself, making us see what he wants us to see: that's why it took us so much to realize that the character didn't just "go insane" out of nowhere, the seeds were always there, we had all the hints we needed, but he was able to move his character around it, around the arc, in such a way that made us overlook all of those details until they slapped us in the face. He showed us the consequences of his character through other characters, he acted and spoke in a certain way to get a reaction from the others, and the others reacted in the exact way Wilbur planned. And those things aren't scrpited, only major plotpoints are. Wheter this was intentional on his part or it was a coincidence it's not clear, but in either cases it's still pure skill and genius.

Wilbur knew how to act and interact with every character, it's impressive

He even knew how to get Dream on his act on the festival narrative, Dream isn't always top notch at improv and we know that, but if he can get in the loop he is absolutely a distructive force, it's terrifying, and Wilbur knew exactly what to do to get Dream inside the loop of events and it's incredible.

You could guess he knew how to act with Tommy, Tubbo, Ph1lza, Techno and Schlatt, of course he did, he already knew them, but right now he has an incredibly difficoult bit with someone I would have never guessed if I didn't watch the SMP, with Fundy. I have not been in the fandom for a lot of time, but it seems like the two actually met each other on the SMP. They are carrying and incredibly emotional taxing bit with each other, and the SMP lore started just this year- more or less 7/8 months I think? Correct me if I'm wrong. The story bit these two are on is a delicate one, one wrong step and the situation explodes. The fact that they are capable to carrying it even without having known each other for a long time is honestly impressive. Things like this are incredibly hard even when scripted, in improv usually only people who blindly trusted each other for a long time are able to carry it, meanwhile Wilbur and Fundy are flawlessly running with this story arc, the character interactions are perfect, ever act, every word is so incredibly in character for both of them, in scenes like this having to keep perfect track of your character is hard, you have to concentrate on the scene, you cannot stop to think about it, you have only one take and you cannot afford to slow down the act or you risk losing the atmosphere and the momentum of it, and if you do that you'e screwed, you lost an entire scene. In improv you cannot afford slipping up, but if you actually do you have to be incredibly quick to catch yourself, lose two seconds too many and the moment is broken.

Wilbur Soot is incredibly quick to adapt his acting to ever change in his character, having to jump from the power hungry, driven crazy, obsessive, unhinged, paranoid character that is Wilbur to the sad, guilty, scared, repressed, just-wanting-to-be-happy, forgetfull, ignoring character that is Ghostbur is not something easy. Like, at all. It's a cspital switch, and he did it from a day to the other like it's nothing.

Mr Soot please leave some talent to the rest of us come on-

#sapphire rants #sapphire talks. don't listen to her #long post #dream smp #dream smp season 2 #technoblade #niki nihachu #Tubbo #Tommyinnit #it's fundy #Fundy #dreamwastaken #Wilbur soot #you guys should stop giving me this much power before I end up ranting abou Eret; Quackity; Schlatt; Tommy and Ranboo's acting oh my gosh #THE ACTING RANTS

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actualbird · 2 years ago

Note

hihi zak, hope youre doing well

its the anon who said they werent a luke stan (yet)

well. you see. i just.

I think personal story 4 did it for me. Converted me. i was shattered. broken. i said before i couldnt think about Luke without being sad, well, now i Cannot Stop Thinking About Him. he has suddenly infested my brain and will not leave. like those worms inside of apples(why is that a thing anyway?? do worms actually live in apples????). THE VOICE ACTING.THE CRYING?? THE. HIM. i swear i almost burst into tears. he. i. he cares so much.. And. i. ykno. i care he. how. how does he. im distraught. Special thanks to Aaron Yishmir for Keeping Me Sane. i wont go into details bc this would be much MUCH longer and also spoilers for the poor people looking at your blog. But know i am Feeling Things and they go from Joy to Sad to me becoming reminiscent of a rabid animal(in a good way).

he’s currently sitting at 2nd place(more like 1.5 but shh). Unfortunately i Can’t make fun of him for being ridiculously Down Bad (since he’s probably been dealing with these emotions since he was a kid + also 8 years of yearning and distance+ whatever other sad complex he’s come up with in his head. he gets a pass.) like i can with Vyn, so he sits all pretty with deep care and appreciation from me at 2nd place. You were right, he can get ya. Beware of The Luke, he Strikes without Warning or Hesitation.

sorry this was long yet again, hope u have a lovely day/night !! ty for coming to my long rant of the day. -K

hello, anon!! i want to first tell you how Delightful this ask was to get. seeing those first three lines, so succinct and simple, followed by two wonderfully chunky paragraphs.

i now diagnose you with Luke Pearce Worms In The Brain. if theres a cure, i sure as hell dont know it, ive been like this for nearly a wholeass year JHVKAJSHKFAJSH

RIGHT!! RIGHT, HIS PERSO STORY 4 WENT SO HARD...ive been going crazy about the jp dub but ive also heard the cn dub and Hoo Boy, The Lake Scene goes JUST AS HARD THERE. i assume all of the VAs across the language dubs were given the key direction "you need to break people's hearts here. absolutely shatter them. disintegrate them with your performance" and they all went Aight and flexed tf outta their voice acting prowess

aaron is such a king and also truly the funniest side character and my Favorite, i wanna explore how he'd interact with the rest of the team cuz this story made me realize hes like. SO MUCH WEIRDER THAN I HAD INITIALLY THOUGHT AHVSKJFHSVKJFHA. when my brain decides it wants to write fic again, i gotta make aaron fic where hes weirder. i need this for my wellbeing

anyhoo, luke really GETS YA. even if he doesnt become a fave, his stories are just really really great and they hit hard in so many ways that i am also becoming a rabid animal along with u <3

and no worries about ask length!! especially if it's about luke. i Adore This Dude, i'd read kilometers of text if it's related to him JHVAKJHVFKJAH

#k!anon #im not actually sure if i tagged ur previous asks as this but i'll start now! :DDD #asks

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whump-captain · 3 years ago

Text

Febuwhump Day 8

No Anesthesia (4300 words)

Another one i've been working on for a while and it shows bc it is loooooong. But im real happy with it and its always fun to write stuff from the core story. And also stuff about amateur surgery without painkillers

---

CN: amateur surgery, sutures, broken bones, buried in rubble, blood loss, passing out, environmental whump

---

"Any luck?"

As Joy dips back into the half-light, Cutter can tell from her expression what her answer is going to be. He also doesn't miss her quick glance over her shoulder and the fact that she's stepping with more care now: he's barely heard her footsteps as she approached the skeleton of a doorway.

He's come to think of it as a kind of portal, the only link between his prison and the rest of the building - even though the wall it's set in is missing most of its bricks now. Neither feels like it protects him much, but he takes what he can get. At least he didn't get buried in the direct vicinity of whatever is haunting this place.

That fact is the only good thing he can say about the room. It's windowless, shaped like a long trapezoid, with walls that must have once been smooth but that now bare the dirty red of bricks between chalk-white flakes of plaster. A good third of the room is completely caved in, barred off by the slope of the collapsed ceiling. Dark lines of bent rebar run through the stripped concrete, connecting the huge, jagged hole above with the pile of rubble where Cutter lies buried. Every now and then, a trickle of dust makes its way down from the top floor in a thin line of off-white.

The same dust flakes the sleeves of Joy's jacket as she sits down on the filthy concrete. She brushes it off and says: "Yes and no." Conflicting emotions play on her face for a moment and then coalesce into a small grimace.

"You are onto something," she admits. "The deeper I get into the building, the worse the signal gets." She unclips the little walkie-talkie from her pocket and points its antenna at the twin device in Cutter's hand. "These are military issue, this shouldn't happen at a short distance like this."

"Military?" He examines the walkie-talkie with a new interest. "Where did you get them?"

"Nevermind. The battery is acting up as well and that's where it gets…" she pauses, uneasy, "really weird. The light goes red and the sound gets distorted like the radio is dying, but then, whenever I get close to a window, or even a hole in the wall… It recharges. Green light again, sound's back to normal. Signal seems better in those places, too, even though I get further from you." Silence hangs between them for a while. Joy looks towards the doorway again. "That's not normal."

"So do you believe me?" Cutter asks. He's careful to sound reassuring; if the question comes off as gloating he might push her into defensiveness and there simply isn't time for that. A trace of it does glint in her eyes as she meets his gaze - an instinct to deny truths forced upon her.

But that glint quickly fades. She leans in slightly and says:

"You get why I don't want to, right?"

Very quickly, Cutter is growing very impressed with this woman.

"I do," he replies.

Joy takes a deep breath. "That is what's happening though," she continues. She clears her throat of the ever-present dust in the air and then her expression hardens. "And that means we do have to get out of here."

Cutter smiles. "I concur."

Joy shifts and sits on her heels now, fingers tapping her knees. "That means we have to get you out," she states.

With a push, she bounces up to her feet and falls into pacing, back and forth. Cutter watches her, trying not to let her nervous energy rub off on him. It's clear she's thinking a mile a minute, but her hands are still restless, jumping from her chin, to her neck, then to her pockets, and out of them again. Her creaking footsteps send faint vibrations through the floor.

She crouches and disappears from view, obscured by the pane of concrete that still hangs over Cutter's chest. Even though it's annoying that it prevents him from sitting up any higher - or really moving at all - he still appreciates that it's not actively crushing him like the rest of the rubble. It's those small things, the little strokes of luck, that make him believe fortune is still on his side.

Joy stands up again, wiping her hands on her trousers. As her eyes scan the rubble, her face slowly sets into a grimace of determination and Cutter can't help the grin creeping up onto his lips. He can see it, the turning of gears in her head. Yes, he's definitely lucky. Out of all the people he could have dialed by accident, he managed to get her.

"How much do you weigh?" she says suddenly.

He quirks an eyebrow. "Oh, so it's okay to ask when I'm a bloke and you're a pretty lady?"

The look she gives him in return is unamused. "I might be able to carry you, or at least drag you. Not for long, but we'd get somewhere." She looks over to the door again, mapping routes in her head. "That can be plan A."

"It's one more plan than I have," he answers brightly, countering the tension in her voice. She forces a half-smile, but her brows are drawn as she crouches down again.

"That's assuming we can- dig you out." She swallows mid-sentence.

Her eyes jump around the heavy, layered shapes of the rubble piled on top of Cutter's legs. Apprehension is clear in her posture and he can't blame her. The chunks of concrete, the smallest still bigger than his whole body, look interlocked, crumbled edges catching each other in a web of co-dependent balance. It's impossible to tell their number; all he feels is the weight, the constant dull presence overwhelming even the pain of broken bones.

"Hey, I already did most of the heavy lifting," he says, waving to the smaller debris scattered all around him. "It's just these big guys left. I can't see too well, but the stuff on the left… I don't really like our chances with it. Not without some fancy tools." He pats the pane hanging over his chest. It's stuck in something or other on the left and what he can see over it looks like the worst of the rubble. Rebar peeks out of the slate gray mess, reaching up like gnarled, rusty fingers.

"We'll think about that later then," Joy replies sternly. "What about here?" Carefully, she touches a big chunk wrenched under the right side of the pane. The concrete boulder wobbles slightly and the small motion shifts the pressure on Cutter's leg. A shock of pain spears through him but he grits his teeth and only allows himself a grimace. This is good news, the fact that the boulder moves at all. Focus on that.

"I can't reach it," he says. His voice is still level, even though the pain stays with him, radiating out into his body. "It's moving though, so maybe you can get a grip on it from the other side."

Joy nods. Stepping carefully over the mess, she ducks under a cracked edge of the ceiling's slope and slips into a tiny crevice between two broken off pieces. Dull thunks echo through the room as she tosses away some loose bricks, clearing herself a space before she leans down and, grimacing slightly, buries her hands in the rubble.

Something shifts with a quiet rumble and Cutter braces himself. But no new pain comes. He feels sudden cold on his leg as Joy heaves up a thick bar of concrete and pivots it up until it's vertical. With a grunt of effort, she moves it to rest against the slope. Cutter chuckles at the way she glares at it, as if ordering it to stay in place.

With more space to move now, she crouches down to examine the rubble. Her eyes widen slightly and then she presses her lips together.

"Hm," she mutters.

"What's "hm"?"

"There's-" she swallows, her face turning a shade paler. "There's a lot of blood. Your blood."

"I'd be disturbed if it was someone else's," he replies. Honestly, he'd be surprised if there wasn't blood. From how cold his hands feel and from the persistent dizziness that keeps coming over him, it's pretty clear that he's missing a fair amount. "I can move my toes, though, that's good news, right?" He grins up at Joy, but she's not looking at him as she leans and ducks around, looking from all different angles.

"I guess," she says. "I'm a photographer, not a doctor. This part kind of looks like it could roll away, do you see?" She draws a circle in the air over the boulder she moved before.

"No, but I trust you." This time Cutter waits until she meets his eye and then he winks. She makes that face again, as if she's baffled but not only by his words, but by every single part of him as a person. And being baffled, she has less time to be nervous. She shakes her head and crams her hands between the concrete chunks; Cutter feels it as a dot of dull pain as some unseen edge presses into his leg.

She exhales and shifts closer to the slope behind her, for purchase.

"Ready?" she asks.

"Yeah."

He gets the reply out just in time before his throat tightens. There are two seconds of horrible anticipation and then a scraping sound fills the air as Joy pushes the boulder as hard as she can.

Cutter feels it slice his flesh open. He throws his head back, teeth grinding together against the groan that tries to force its way out of his mouth. He digs his fingernails into the sleeve of his coat. However hard he tries to focus on any other sensation, there's no drowning out the pain that slowly carves a line down his leg, pushed and chased by the weight shifting on top of him.

With a hollow thud, the boulder tips over and wobbles on its cracked side. Joy shouts in surprise, flails her arms and catches herself on the slope. Cutter gasps quietly, startled by the sting of air on broken skin. Again he has to bite his lip as all the pain in the freed limb ignites anew, blood now flowing freely to every scrape and bruise that he managed to forget about. He feels it trickle down to his ankle too, from the brand new gash that feels like it's gone straight through to the bone.

"Shit," Joy hisses. "Uh, this- looks pretty bad." She shoots upright but then back down. Her eyes dart around and her hands hover, she looks like she's being pulled in three directions at once.

Then, with a sharp huff, she shuts her eyes tight and freezes; she stands completely still for a few long seconds.

Good idea. Cutter copies her, though it seems dangerous to let his eyelids slide down, even just for this moment. But it is easier to think in the dark, to find a rhythm to his breathing and pull everything back into perspective. Yes, it hurts, but one of the boulders is gone now. He's one step closer to getting out of there. Bit by bit, they are solving this together and they will see it through. They're both too stubborn to give up.

It is an effort to open his eyes, but less than he thought it would be. He exhales and then carefully, very carefully, tries to move his leg. It feels horribly stiff, his knee throbs with a deep-set ache but he can push through it and bend it. Rolling his ankle aggravates the fresh injury and he has to wince at the stab of pain. But nothing feels broken. He can sort of see it now, too, in the small open space between his body and the slab above him. The rubble is slick and dark with crimson.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," he says and at the exact same moment Joy's eyes snap open.

"I have a suture kit," she says.

Cutter blinks. "Why?"

"For situations like this." She squeezes past the slope out into the open and half-jogs around to her backpack - currently squished under Cutter's back where it helps him sit up. He gasps in playful offense as she unceremoniously pushes up his shoulder to get to a side pocket. "Hang on, let me-" she mutters. A zipper hisses and she yanks out a small, emergency green pouch. She unzips it to glance inside but too quickly for Cutter to see its contents. They make a faint metallic clink when she slaps it shut and then she climbs over the rubble again, making it look almost easy this time. There's an urgent precision to her motions as she settles among the concrete chunks and it matches her expression of complete focus. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she unzips the pouch to rummage around it.

"Right," she says. Something makes a dull click in her hand and then a strong, chemical smell cuts through the air. "I'm going to disinfect it."

Cutter cranes his head but he can't catch a glimpse of what she's holding. "What is that?"

"Tincture of iodine."

That tells him nothing. He grins. "Go for it. Just give me a heads-"

He sees white. Every nerve in his leg catches fire, it's like a burning vice clamping around the bone. He screams, and the pain boiling in the wound doesn't let him stop until his breath runs out. The wheezing gasps he makes aren't voluntary either; it's instinct that forces air into his lungs against the tension that seizes him.

It feels like minutes before the pain slowly starts to dim. Clinging desperately to that feeling, that light at the end of the tunnel, Cutter wrestles back some control over his body. He sets his teeth tight, but a small, pained noise still escapes between them before he can swallow the next one. It hurts less now. Less. It's getting better. All he has to do is focus on that.

Joy's voice breaks through the swaying haze: "You okay?"

She sounds tense, the concern in her words blending with genuine fear. Even though he doesn't fully trust his composure yet, Cutter risks a reply:

"Yeah." It comes out too strained to be reassuring, but he does manage something resembling a smile. "Yeah. That was- that was smart, y'know." He's panting, trying to hide the effort it takes to speak. "Cause now- no matter how- you do with the stitches- it's not going to hurt as much as- whatever the hell you just did."

"Sorry," Joy replies. She's ducked behind the rubble, but Cutter catches a glimpse of her face through the opening. She's biting her lip. "But it looks really grim, I'm worried you'll get an infection."

At that, his smile widens a little. How uplifting, the concern of a stranger. It's never hard for him to get a read on people, but he's more certain of this woman than he's ever been of anyone. It feels like he's known her forever. The pain has settled into an ache now, still bone-deep but much more manageable. As a tradeoff, a tremble comes over him and sets his teeth chattering; but he can handle that. The worst is over now and though he's still to catch his breath fully, he can't find it in himself to worry.

"That's also smart," he breathes. "You're smart. I'm glad we get to be stuck in a haunted ruin together."

Joy catches his eye under the concrete pane and her face goes on a journey of deciding whether she considers that a compliment. A surgical glove stands out in electric blue against her black gore-tex; she holds a curved needle between her thumb and forefinger in a grip more suited to handling a live wasp.

"Thanks," she says. "Now I'm gonna need to focus." She swallows and looking at her expression, Cutter is glad he can't see what his leg looks like. "This looks complicated."

"What is your experience with suturing, exactly?" he asks conversationally. "Have you done this before?"

"I've… seen it done. On TV."

"Good enough for me." He beams at her. "I'm in your hands, doctor photographer."

"Right. Now I need focus." For a moment, she's silent. The blue gloves squeak as her fingers tighten. "Focus," she repeats quietly.

Cutter lies back and looks up at the gaping hole in the ceiling. Angular shapes of cracked concrete loom in its light. Again, he doesn't know what to expect. It will probably hurt, but this time he has a very clear reference point. Two of them, in fact: the disinfection and the previous agony of a broken bone. Even though it's dormant now, the memory of it makes his stomach turn and he holds on to that feeling. The stitches can't hurt as much as that. Not much can, he reckons, and that means that he can make it through whatever happens next. The key word being "whatever", because he's hesitant to even make guesses about anything further than a few minutes in advance. But he has Joy now, and she seems to be at least on speaking terms with the future.

Lost in thought, he misses it: the touch of vinyl on his skin; Joy's deep exhale.

Sudden pain makes his breath hitch and yanks him back to the present. It feels almost like a piercer's needle - but then it morphs into a thin, razor-sharp line of friction as the suture pulls through the damaged flesh. Then Joy presses together the wound’s edges and Cutter has to bite back a cry. This is helping, he repeats in his head, she’s doing this to help. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Another stab of the needle and more of that horrible friction, that feeling of something being dragged through tender skin and slicing through every raw nerve along the way. It’s all he can do to force his voice down so he doesn’t whimper. No, it doesn’t hurt as much as the disinfection, but it also doesn’t stop. It just builds.

It makes his head swim. He screws his eyes shut but there’s no relief in the dark, just the pounding of his own heart. The next drag of the suture snaps his eyes back open. Against his will, a long, desperate groan claws its way out of his throat. He gasps and that too comes out as almost a cry; it would be if he’d had more breath in him.

He hears Joy through a haze:

"You okay?"

Her voice is tight, there’s almost a shake to it; hearing that, Cutter sets his teeth tight again and manages to answer:

"Yeah."

That comes out as a groan as well but he can’t help it. He wants to tell Joy to keep going, if only because the pain doesn’t abate when she pauses; it just keeps burning like a blinding light, giving no chance to remember any of the tricks thatl he thought would help him make it through this. He can’t think or lie his way out of just how much it hurts and he just wants Joy to hurry up and end it. But he’s panting too much to speak, all focus now on not letting himself scream. She doesn’t need the distraction.

"Almost done,” she says.

She pulls the needle through again and Cutter slams his head back. Almost done, almost done, almost done. This must be the last stitch because it feels less agonizing, like the skin it’s going through is less damaged. But it still makes his breath come in frantic hisses as the suture tugs it closed.

The actual last stitch tears a cry out of him. Then gloved fingertips brush against the ruined skin and the suture shifts its pressure. The tight cinch of a knot pulls on the wound again and Cutter can’t fight his voice anymore; his gasps turn into groans and then almost - almost - into sobs.

“There,” Joy breathes. She’s panting too, like she’s been holding her breath this entire time. “I'm gonna put some antiseptic on it, too.”

Another plastic bottle clicks open and then she very carefully dabs something along the line of the wound. If the medicine stings, Cutter can’t feel it; the pain still blots out everything and the world spins around him again. He’s lightheaded, focus slips away from both his mind and his vision.

“Done."

Joy’s voice startles him. When he blinks to clear his head, a glint of white catches his eye under the concrete pane. She must have bandaged his leg, but he can’t remember it happening. Did he faint? It doesn’t feel like he did, but there’s no way to tell.

But it’s done now, done for good, and he can finally try to get his words back, forcing deep breaths into his battered, protesting body.

"Much- much obliged,” he gasps.

Joy stands up, grayer in the face than she should be. There’s a slight shake to her hands that she hides by curling them into fists. She’s pulled off the gloves, but dark red smudges the very hems of her jacket sleeves and it glistens like ice on the waterproof fabric.

"Now,” she says on a huffed exhale. She’s strung tight with adrenaline and she’s trying to ride it as far as she can. She turns to the mess of rubble pinning down Cutter’s other leg. “What do we do about this?"

"Can we- can we get back to that one?” he asks. Just the thought of anything else hurting right now is making his stomach turn. The feeling reminds him to breathe through his nose and that does help, slightly. He manages to clear some of the strain out of his voice, enough to at least feel normal. "It's not going anywhere. Clearly."

He must not sound normal, though, because when Joy looks at him, there's almost a trace of guilt on her face. But she's too smart to let it linger. She just sighs and wipes her palms on the dusty front of her trousers.

"Yeah," she agrees. "Let's chill."

She goes to sit back down but changes her mind seeing the blood on the floor. Carefully, she picks her way around the rubble again.

Cutter lets his head fall back onto the backpacks and he watches the ceiling above him wobble as his vision swims again. Inhale, exhale; as slowly as he can, even as the pain still radiates out onto the rest of his body. He's never been this tired in his life. His limbs feel heavier than the concrete on top of him and the effort of forcing his chest to rise and fall is almost more than he can handle. This time he's sure he faints because he doesn't remember closing his eyes, and yet he opens them to Joy shaking his shoulder.

"Hey," she says. "You probably shouldn't fall asleep."

"Mm," he manages to answer. Joy presses a bottle of water into his hand and for a moment, he can focus on unscrewing the lid. It helps. A manual task brings his mind back into the present - even though the present is still a very painful place. The bottle shakes slightly when he brings it to his lips, but the relief to his dry throat makes him just a little bit more confident in his ability to stay awake.

He is lucky, isn't he? This smart, stubborn, stupidly compassionate stranger won't even let him pass out, not to mention bleed to death. So he's going to be fine. They're both going to be fine. The exhaustion settles back down into the now-familiar ache deep in his bones and if he focuses really hard, he can push it out of the forefront of his mind.

Joy sits back down, crossing her legs, and throws a quick glance over her shoulder.

"So," she says, resting her chin on her fist. Keeping up conversation for her own sake as much as his, he reckons. "Is "Cutter" like your work pseudonym?"

"What?" he laughs. "No, it's my last name."

"Really? It sounds like something you'd make up if you needed a ghost hunter name."

"Aww, thanks," he grins and that gets her to smile as well.

"What's your first name, then?"

"I don't disclose that on the first date." He's glad he feels better enough to wink. At that, a hint of mischief makes its way into Joy's expression.

"Is it embarrassing?"

"Not really. It just sounds less cool."

"Fair enough." She chuckles and looks out into the dark again. A short struggle takes place across her features as she pulls herself back from whatever thoughts dim her focus and then she muses: "I could never go by my surname, my mum's too famous in my community."

Cutter raises his eyebrows. "Do tell."

"Well, she's a singer and pretty much everyone in the Desi folk scene knows who she is. And she insisted on giving me and my sisters double-barrel surnames because she wanted us to get a head start into the industry through the recognition her name gets." She purses her lips in what is almost a pout. "But honestly we just find it annoying. Everyone always asks "oh, so you're from these Goswamis?". It gets old."

"Wait, so you're a musician, too?"

"No, that's the thing! I really don't want to go into music and my mum hates it." The roll of her eyes is amused as much as exasperated. "It's this weird situation where my parents give me grief for wanting a career in art but only because it's not the same art that they have a career in."

"You should become a lawyer to spite them," Cutter suggests and Joy scoffs a laugh.

"I think I'd rather starve."

#febuwhump #febuwhump2022 #febuwhumpday8 #no anesthesia #sutures #stitches #field medicine #amateur surgery #blood loss #passing out #captain's stuff #captain's ocs #oc whump #ghost ambulance #im sorry cutter i just like hurting u so much #this could be shorter but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i like the leadup to it #makes me feel like maybe i can write the rest of glass tree

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 3 years ago

Text

fic writer review

thanks to @delphiniumblooms for tagging me!!! :D

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

66 posted and one lonely little draft that's probably never gonna get finished

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

102,532

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

including things i've multiple-tagged for related fandoms, 24. but like i said, a lot of that is because of interconnected/related fandoms

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

tell me more than just the scars i've known - my first Sylki fic that i wrote while extremely frustrated by lack of cell service, it's not my favorite thing i've written but listen: sometimes a girl's just gotta write some whump, ok?

Dream Again (When One's Left Behind) - the one and only Tangled: The Series fic i've ever written. Varian angst and platonic h/c with one of the only alternating POVs i've ever successfully written.

for the bad decisions that we made - the Sylki fic i posted less than two days ago (writing for big fandoms is wild, guys); yet another take on an s2 reunion but this time featuring heart-to-hearts, hugs, and one of my favorite lines of prose i've ever written

Learn Me Right - Newsies sickfic that i'm not incredibly proud of, but it's where i started writing my favorite minor character, so it's cool.

We Are Broken - one of my other Newsies fics, bc yeah i had a phase back in January, and i saw some Wormsies post that gave me an idea.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

YES. i always reply to comments just bc i love talking to people, and i also love talking about my fics at any opportunity. also bc i know how nice it is to leave an author a comment and get a reply later on, it's just such a great feeling so i like to be that person :)

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

eurrgghh probably either Dust & Ashes or we're gonna sing it again and again, bc they ended with MCD, but i really kind of hate both of them in retrospect because i was trying to write them to be canon compliant, but i wasn't familiar enough with canon and they're just... very very off

7. Do you write crossovers?

nope, not unless you count different eras and contexts of Doctor Who stuff as crossover

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

nope again, AO3 culture is very nice and i really love it

9, Do you write smut?

biggest NOPE yet, i don't write it or read it. just.... n o p e.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

11. Ever had a fic translated?

again, no. but that would be really heckin cool if one of my fics ever did get translated!!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

i'm saying "no" a whole lot, wow... but yeah, no i haven't. i've considered co-writing something with my best friend, but we've never gotten around to it

13. All time fav ship?

i... cannot pick one tbh. it changes with my hyperfixation. right now i have Sylki brainrot lol

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

probably my Gallifrey/DWEU buddy cop au?? i love it, it's my brainchild, but yeah :/

15. Writing strengths?

i've been told that i'm really good at packing a lot of emotion and meta into very short fics, and i'm pretty proud of that tbh

16. Writing weaknesses?

i suck at plot and dialogue can sometimes drive me nuts. i think my biggest weakness as i perceive it is that i find it hard to *not* make things in fics go very fast? like i write everything out that i want in a fic but it's still incredibly short and i worry that it feels rushed, even though other people don't usually think that.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

uh... the only language other than English that i know is Koine Greek (as in, the specific Greek that the Bible's New Testament was oroginally written in) and it's a dead language, sooooo.......

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Big Finish Doctor Who! (tho tbh i think back when i was 11/12 i wrote some random self-insert stuff for whatever little fandoms i was in back then 😅)

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

ohhh i can't choose? usually i'm just most partial to whatever i've most recently written, which right now is for the bad decisions that we made. i think one of my Gallifrey fics, In The Drift, is definitely high on my list of favorites though.

here's my AO3 for anyone who might like to take a look!

tagging @fortes-fortuna-iogurtum and @picnokinesis if either of you want to do this, and anyone else who sees it if you want. :D

#Lu rambles #Lu writes #writing #fanfic #ao3 #tag game #my fic #fanfic pals #loki series #pro sylki #lovedaggers #newsies #newsies live #tangled the series #varian angst #dweu #doctor who expanded universe #gallifrey #big finish audios

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fonulyn · 3 years ago

Note

So my partner is amazing and let's me ramble about RE to them whenever I want to, and even sat down to watch Vendetta with me when I bought it, so the other day I was like explaining Leon and Chris' characters (bc my partner knows how much I love them both lmao so of course that's what I was talking about), and we have both come to the conclusion that Leon is a bisexual disaster, and Chris is a homosexual. The running joke is that Leon is also just generally a whore, out there living his best life, and Chris is the kind of gay guy who no one expects to be gay bc of stereotypes and his habit of never really talking about himself, but he also was never really in the closet about it, so he's surprised whenever people are surprised to learn that he's gay lolol but in all seriousness Leon is not only bisexual, but he's the type to fall in love easily despite all of his background and trauma related to betrayal, so his heart is almost continually broken, either bc he's betrayed or he loses whoever it is he's found himself in love with (and sometimes both i.e. Krauser, and Ada at the end of RE2), either through death or just leaving bc he knows he can't stay/can't be with whomever. As for Chris, maybe I'm reading into it wrong, but despite all of the like, romantic connotations they try to put into some of his games (which I don't. Really see? Like there was some in the first game with Jill but I just cannot see them together like that, neither seem interested in one another like that. And of course, Jessica, who I can't stand, and who Chris is supposedly totally oblivious to? Like she thinks he didn't notice her flirting in RE revelations, and Parker is like "is it that, or is he maybe interested in someone else?" And the assumption there is that he means Jill, but again, I don't see it? Even in that game! But that line of Parker's always makes me think "yeah, he's more than just interested in someone else, he's playing for a whole nother team entirely!" lmao. And I haven't seen much for 5 but I'm sure it's there between Chris and Sheva, and then for 6 from what I understand there really is hardly any talk of Chris in regards to any women at all? 8 has nothing, as well, and the DLC for 7 is just another "Chris loses his entire team in horrific fashion yet again" side plot, so nothing there either), he never seems interested. He's always focused on the task at hand, not letting emotions get in his way, and like, some could argue that that's why he doesn't show interest or why Capcom doesn't create more romantic lore around him, but if they really wanted to Make Sure he was straight and Make Sure everyone playing these games knew that, I imagine there would be some one line little hints in the games of him talking about how he can't let himself get distracted, or in his line of work there are no happy endings or what have you, but. There's none of that. Bc he isn't forcing himself not to be interested, he isn't purposefully focusing on saving the day so he doesn't have to get hurt knowing he can never have whichever high potential for a dope ass protag female character who's constantly sacrificing herself to save him bc what better purpose could they serve, right Capcom?, he's just. There, doing his job and trying to save whoever he can, not getting distracted in anyway whatsoever by any of the women in his life, romantically at least. He still cares way too much, but it never comes off as romantic to me in pretty much any way. Also the note he leaves in his STARS locker in RE2remake, Claire being like "this doesn't sound like Chris at all!" Is funny to me bc like, I don't really remember so correct me if I'm wrong, but she doesn't elaborate on WHY that note doesn't sound like Chris lmao is it bc he's respectful to women at all times and doesn't ever objectify them, probably hates when other people do? Or is it bc he would never be interested in women in this way ANYWAYS, the man is so gay, he must have left this note so that Claire would know something is Up, bc her brother is Such a homosexual.

Anyways sorry, I just wanted to ramble/get your opinion on this. Over-analysing RE is actually really fun lmao

haha not gonna lie, I opened your ask in the car on the grocery store parking lot and tried to read it on my phone, and gave up squinting at the small screen halfway through :'D now that I'm back at my laptop though, lol, all good :'D

first of all I'm happy you have someone to ramble to even though they aren't into the thing themselves! :D I regularly rant about RE fandom things to my brother haha and he listens patiently although he isn't in the fandom at all, he's only played the games and that's it. but he still listens to my shippy rambles lol.

as for your thoughts? makes sense to me tbh. I definitely headcanon Leon as a bisexual disaster most of the time, because it does seem fitting. maybe it's partly because I think he's absolutely breathtakingly stunning and it'd be a shame to deny anyone that, so, naturally he wouldn't care about such trivial things as gender, pfth, love is love.

also Leon falling in love easily? absolutely. too damn easily. c'mon this is a man who gets attached to anyone who shows him even the tiniest amount of basic kindness in the matter of minutes. he canonically forms attachments with Claire, Ada, Krauser, Helena, Buddy and JD (JD 😭)... whoever else am I forgetting? but this is the guy who meets someone and would die for them five seconds later. so. it tracks.

and you know what, I can 100% see Chris being only into men. because like. I don't see the romance there either when he's interacting with the women in his life? okay, sure, I could imagine something there between him and Jill if pressed seeing the way he so single-mindedly wants to save her and then holds her in the scene after they get that thing off her chest. maybe. but even there it doesn't really feel super romantic to me, personally.

in the first game with Jill there's not... a lot of romance I don't think? sure she falls asleep against his shoulder in the evac helicopter but i mean, i've fallen asleep against a friend like that? not an indication of romance? they're clearly important to each other! i am not trying to diminish their importance to one another at all! they'd die for each other and they'd do anything it takes to protect each other and i do think their relationship is compelling but... i don't really see anything inherently romantic in it.

and Jessica, yeah, Chris is 100% oblivious to her advances. it is implied in the game that he's into Jill instead but other than that there's again zero actual romantic interaction between Chris and Jill. I was actually talking about this with my brother, who said the same, like there were so many chances in Revelations to put something romantic in there between Chris and Jill but there just. isn't? anything? except for Parker's comment. which is why it felt so damn out of place? (and like my brother would've wanted to ship Chris and Jill, he was kinda bummed about this i feel :'D) so interpreting it to mean he's not interested in women at all would actually make more sense lmao.

as for RE5, I've played it twice (with my brother lmao do we see a theme here) and honestly I don't remember anything in the game that would've insinuated anything more than solid partnership between Chris and Sheva?? if someone who's more familiar with the game wants to correct me on this, then please! but at least off the bat I can not remember anything so I think they actually didn't try to even hint at romance for them?

and in RE6 Chris is way too focused on killing "Ada" to have any thoughts about anything else :'D so no. no mentions in there regarding him and any women. at all. not even hints of Jill which is so incredibly weird (and stupid tbh) bc she was made to be so important to him in RE5 and then doesn't even get a mention in RE6? (/shakes fist damn you capcom! the characters exist outside the games they're in!)

I think that's pretty much the main difference between Chris and Leon tbh. Chris sees the job at hand, and he knows it'll help, he knows it'll save people and it'll make the world safer and he's so single-mindedly focused on the job that he sees nothing else. while Leon sees people, for the better or for worse, and he is willing to take detours if it helps even one person in the meantime. like in RE6, Leon willingly ignores the task at hand to go help just about anyone. Chris doesn't want to pause even when pressed bc he has an end goal in mind.

and bear in mind, I am not trying to say this somehow makes Leon better or Chris better or anything. they're both doing this to help. they both have their heart in the right place. they both care. but they're just so different! their personalities, and their way of dealing with things is different! I feel Chris is really target oriented and wants to get the job done. while Leon's easily distracted from it, because of all the damn feelings :'D

but yeah. i love them both, and i think it's really damn fascinating how they're both the good guys, the heroes of the franchise, but they both take to things so differently.

i don't know if any of this makes sense, I think i rambled too :'D but hey-o, it was fun lmao.

and hey no need to apologize at all!! always feel free to shoot me a message if you wanna chat!

#re answers #anonymous #ask and i shall answer #chris redfield #leon s kennedy #also i know #this is all headcanoning and my subjective opinion #so feel free to disagree #on anything :3 #and everything lmao :'D #long post

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cecilyneville · 4 years ago

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the spanish princess: episode 8

“why are people watching this show if they don’t like it???”

me:

(i mean hating on this show, not actually watching it - nothing about tsp is fun, the whole thing has been mean-spirited from beginning to end)

ruairi was good as prince henry, but as king henry? awful

“i would not come to help you” so how much more of coa being a cunt are we going to get? bc if this episode is called “peace” i assume she has to...idk...start being a bit nicer

god, fucking finally

if they want us to like catherine bc she’s finally paying attention to mary that isn’t “HMM SHE IS NOT A BOY”, they got another thing coming

catherine was horrible to everyone including her ladies and her daughter, but she’s slightly nicer now so it’s ok!!!!

“men of arran and men of hamilton” the writers have finally realised there are more families in scotland than stewart and douglas

WHY has albany kidnapped james? at first i thought it was a ruse b/w him and meg but apparently not. wouldn’t it make more sense for her to return to scotland to find that angus has kidnapped james?

it makes so much sense for ef to just ignore the fact that margaret douglas exists and keep prince alexander alive

ursula where you been all this time???

finally some semi-accurate headwear on maggie. but ONLY on maggie, not on ursula, bc if it’s anything the costuming on all three series have taught us, only old ladies cover their heads

also finally - laura carmichael is getting some decent material to work with! (relatively speaking)

bessie instructing henry fitzroy is very similar to her tudors counterpart doing the same, bc of course

comb ur fuckin hair dude

i’m not gonna lie, this latin standoff between mary & henry fitzroy is hilarious, like a 16th-century spelling bee

“there’s nothing i can give a girl” except, you know, sending her to ludlow as heirs to the throne were before her, but even that level of nuance is too confusing for fraham

“my brother is more sympathetic to her cause than he has been” this week: henry discovers the concept of divorce

“go to the king anne, smile and win his favour” yet another barely-concealed tudors ripoff

thomas more just like “maggie you’re fucked up bc your life has been so shit”

if henry is speaking about this script then he is 100% correct

oh rosa’s here! so not one but BOTH of catherine’s besties will ditch her, delicious

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THIS IS THE MOST OBVIOUS, CLUNKY WAY TO DO IT LMAO

oh they’re going for a becket/henry ii vibe here with wolsey & henry, don’t mind this

it bothers me SO much that they keep calling maggie henry’s aunt when they never bothered to include elizabeth’s actual sisters after they put cecily on a bus (which, to be fair, was probably for the best)

i kind of recoil when people say “[insert historical figure] would be so offended by this depiction” because if someone like catherine of aragon were shown any modern depiction of herself, her head would probably explode out of confusion and horror. BUT this is so offensive to the real catherine of aragon

i would like to see laura carmichael as elizabeth of york - it’s the big brown eyes

is she doing this out of hatred for her inability to give the king a son??? what does it all MEAN emma

i mean i guess he’s hotter than angus

i know this hunting scene is supposed to reflect something from part one which i didn’t watch, but it just reminds me of the tudors s1 finale when henry and anne fucked in the woods

also reminds me very much of the great when peter tries to drown catherine

catherine quoting deuteronomy and unwittingly confessing to consummating her marriage with arthur...CONGRATULATIONS YOU PLAYED YOURSELF

soz to sound like a broken record but the fact that people - even some actual critics - watch CH’s performance and think this is actually good acting will never not be funny to me, she’s atrocious. it’s so jarring looking at behind the scenes footage and seeing her smiling, like couldn’t you actually do this on screen? she plays catherine like the woman’s never felt happiness in her life, or any other emotion for that matter

lina’s not gonna sell catherine out and i’m so mad about it, she has treated you like SHIT for YEARS

god, she can’t even cry believingly

HELL YES MEG, DISCO INFERNO

we won’t have time to see meg’s marriage to henry stewart fail spectacularly, which is probably a good thing bc my heart would break

catherine has been absolutely VILE to lina but it’s ok bc she’s said sorry now

“i would speak with you” / “it seems you already are” LOLLLL

so funny that it’s only NOW that they’re getting french hoods of some kind, but not with actual veils because, like i said, only old dowdy matrons don’t get to show their sexy hair

WHAAAAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

i mean, i’m not surprised, given how much fraham hate anne

“so, you’re playing anne boleyn. congrats! but you’ll only get, like, one line, and you WILL have to get your tits out”

guys she’s so upset can’t you tell

CH got a taste for holding bows on game of thrones it’s the only thing she’s good at

STELLLAAAAAA

of course meg has to actually fire the cannons rather than just train them on angus and his men, but this is very fun

surprised they didn’t point out that one of scotland’s greatest cannons was called “mons meg”

fuck this nice scene between catherine and lina! she doesn’t deserve your forgiveness lina!!!

i guess catherine’s woke levels need to be maintained by keeping her one black friend who was a slave irl

hahahaha i fucking love her

“i will always be your wife, there is nothing you can do to change that” knock knock it’s the reformation

catherine choosing to leave makes no sense for this show or for the history they’re ~supposed~ to be depicting

“you will never take my place as queen of england” KNOCK KNOCK IT’S THE REFORMATION

catherine is an old lady now so we shall signify this by giving her a gable hood

catherine she just asked if the bird was dead jesus

which it should be by now...it’s been around since like 1510??

ah yes, let’s bring back that other metaphor, the imperialism compass

if all the disgruntled tories had their way this would be on the end credits of every episode of the crown too

and that’s all folks! let’s all be thankful that this show didn’t submit us to an absolute butchery of catherine’s blackfriars speech

#the spanish princess #tbd #there are only two people speaking sense in this finale #and both of them are named margaret

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newhologram · 3 years ago

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I know only a few of you are on IG so I wanted to give an update here on the past few days. I am doing this knowing the potential risk but I need to also record where I'm at right now in case anything weird happens.

My week has been like this so far. Sunday: Family Member 1 misplaced their Xbox controller. They kept asking me if I knew where it was, each time growing more and more aggressive. I don't have an Xbox, I reminded them. I have my own controller for my PC. But they kept knocking loudly on my door. They followed me outside where I was vaping and tried to accuse me of I don't even know what. Pawning off their controller? FM1 said, "Is there something going on that you're not telling me? SOMEONE'S messing with me!" Later that night they and their gf were making dinner. FM1 suddenly knocked harshly on my door and said aggressively, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OVEN MITTS" in an angry voice. I was already stressed from them harassing me earlier about the controller. I came out of my room, heart racing, and told them I had not used them that day. I helped find the mitts, which had fallen behind the trash can because the hanging hook had broken. I went to bed on edge, feeling unsafe and targeted, wondering why my family member was suddenly acting so paranoid and accusing me of misplacing their things... Something they actually have done to me my whole life, denying it until the moment my item is found, when they suddenly remember they did move it there (or accidentally throw it out/destroy it). The controller ended up being some random place in the living room. Monday: I went to leave for my acupuncture appointment. My booster seat/pillow thing was missing from my car. Not in the trunk or anything. I cannot drive without it. I'm too short to see over the steering wheel. I called FM1 and they have no idea where it could be, despite the fact that they drive my car every day. FM1's gf helped find it, in the garage. But I still had an epic fucking meltdown, sobbing the whole way to and from my appointment. I just cannot handle people moving my shit and disrupting my schedule like that. And it just hurt so much more knowing that FM1 was so awful to me the day before about their stuff being misplaced. I'm always having my personal belongings, my feelings, my personhood, disrespected. It hurts deeply. When I got home I stressed to them that this is my car, and my accommodation should not ever be removed from it under any circumstances. It was after this that I decided it was time to hold a family meeting. I called Family Member 2 and 3 over to the house. I read a long letter to them in which I told them about the talks I have had with my therapist, psychiatrist, and another psychologist. Even though I cannot be formally assessed and diagnosed at this time, I am being treated for autism. I detailed to my family my entire life of trauma that is traced back directly to my autistic traits, and my needs not only not being met, but being outright denied. I was denied empathy most of my life for my sensory issues, my pain, everything. A big part of this is gaslighting. Even if it's unintentional or not malicious, gaslighting is incredibly traumatic. Especially when it comes to my sensory issues. I have had even more problems with overstimulation the past year which means I can barely sleep, so my daily naps are even more important. I try to coordinate my naps when there is less activity in my house. But if I'm in a ton of pain and extra sensitive and ask for quiet, that's when I get in trouble and a fight happens. That's when FM1 tells me I "need to be realistic" and "can't expect the whole world to shut up for you"... when I'm literally saying "I have a migraine and need to rest, can you please not play loud music or slam cupboards in the kitchen for a few hours?"

I was emotionally neglected and abused by both parents. A lot of it is just the result of their own trauma that they have not dealt with... But I have also been physically threatened and assaulted by them at different times, though it only happened those specific times. (They won't ever admit to it though.) The emotional and mental abuse still goes on in my home. I am not allowed to have emotions. I have been told "STOP. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WHEN YOU GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT" over and over--like... in response to me crying about my pet dying, or in response to me crying bc I'm in horrible pain from my chronic illnesses, or crying after my usual yearly ER visit. I am also not allowed to have boundaries. I have tried to communicate with FM1 that these things hurt me deeply. And their response is basically, "YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!" and threats such as "BETWEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND GRANMDA, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!" or "I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU"-- y'know, in response to having a disabled child. Ouch. The message is clear: I am nothing but an inconvenience and a burden to my family. I still have nightmares about them abandoning me, or abusing me more. I think in their heads they think that they love me. But this isn't love. If I try to talk to them about how dangerous it is for them to say things like that to me, they say "I never said/did that." Which brings us back to the gaslighting: I said that every time they gaslight me and tell me that my emotions/thoughts/experiences aren't real, it triggers me so badly that I self-harm and become suicidal.

I was very clear with them: I said that I can no longer have that in my life because one day it will kill me. I don't wanna die that way. I want to live. I have very bad PTSD and it's something I have worked on for 8 years but it has been worse the past year with so many disruptions and FM1's worsening narcissistic traits. I gave the choice to them. I said if they gaslighted me again that they were making the decision to not be in my life. Because this is about preserving my life. I'm trying not to die here. I'm literally trying to save my own life, even if that means not having a relationship with my family. They accept that I am autistic... But they then took turns gaslighting me. When I pointed out, "that's gaslighting. that's exactly what I just said in my letter. What you're doing is gaslighting" they went even harder on it. They said my experience and my trauma is "not in line with reality". They also said I "need to be reasonable" with the boundary that I'm setting (meaning: they don't believe in boundaries at all). They tried to guilt trip me with, "you can't cut someone out of your life because what if they DIE and then you FEEL GUILTY??" (I mean, what if I killed myself because you keep hurting me? Wouldn't you feel guilty about that?) They also guilt tripped me with "well we TRY to invite you to family stuff, and we try to include you, but you never want to go..." um... I guess they forgot I am chronically ill? Sorry if I don't have the energy or pain tolerance to drive an hour each way to a loud family party after I've worked all week? I cried and cried, I said this is exactly what I told you that you do to me and how it endangers my life... and you're doing it... while telling me you don't do it to me... They were all weird and told me "we love you and would do anything for you!" except... I guess, not gaslight me constantly? Idk. I felt so trapped. I felt so hopeless. I was up all night crying. I wondered, "Why is the idea of me having distance from them somehow worse than me being dead? Why would they prefer that I die rather than set a boundary that will save me?" And then I remembered: I had set the terms. They broke them. You do this, you're out of my life, because me being alive is more important than us having a relationship which will eventually kill me. I'm not trapped. It doesn't matter if they think they can prevent me from setting this boundary because they can't. I'm in charge of my boundary. So I blocked them on social media, as well as their phones. I have to unfortunately keep FM1 unblocked bc I live with them, they drive my car, and they look after my cats while I am at work. If I didn't have so many great things happening behind the scenes, if I didn't have my cats, if I didn't have amazing friends and followers who are supportive and kind... I can definitely see that I would have ended my life that night in some alternate timeline. That is how much pain I was in from them doing that to me. Them literally trying to gaslight me into not setting a boundary. I mean it would've been so ridiculous on their part, can you imagine? Me: Hey family, when you gaslight me, it makes me suicidal. I don't want to die, so either you stop doing that, or we can't have a relationship. Family: UHH NO *gaslights me anyway* Me: ok *kills self* Family: *surprised Pikachu face* Like???? Would they really have been shocked because it seems like they should have known since I told them directly? And that just shows that they really don't take my pain seriously at all. They think I'm overly sensitive and that my trauma is not real. That would have been a painful wake up call for them. I told my therapist all of this. And she agrees that this is good, this is going to not only ween them off of me but also allow me to focus on all the good stuff I have going on. I have to get moving. So much stuff has been lagging because I'm constantly recovering from them triggering me. I'm going to focus, and heal, and gtfo of here. Thank you for your support and for never invalidating my pain.

#teku #personal #d o nut #reba gel #!#donut rebagel plz

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