#70 points of healing!

[retrokid616]

me looking at trists everlight god art like

[soupy-sez]

Interview With The Vampire, S01E01

[thebutchprinxe]

hate that i’ve lost most of these four first months of the year to grief

[madlori]

My ankle journey

I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.

So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.

Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:

I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.

I went to:

A chiropractor

A podiatrist

A physical therapist

A bodywork coach

They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.

I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.

I went to her a week ago.

She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:

"Oh, it's your soleus."

Excuse me, what?

"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.

She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."

But I HAVE been stretching.

"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."

My mind is spinning.

So here are the muscles in question:

The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.

To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:

The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.

The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.

The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).

I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.

I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.

[crowcryptid]

damn they got a glassing beam in this

[blackmoonoracle]

this PAC is for romantic and platonic connections!

The connection between you and whoever is on your mind.

P I L E O N E

You could have a very watery feminine energy & Your person could be a little strict or strained sometimes in their love language. Saturn as well as Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius came out here. So, we've got a lot of saturnian energy going on, especially with Libra being in the mix. Your person might encourage you to be your authentic self, while struggling to maintain that for themselves.

I keep seeing images of a couple arguing on a dock while a storm is just blowing. The woman looks frantic and upset, and the man seems very disconnected and unworried.

You could have very powerful thoughts and emotions, you could have water in your big 3 and you might be a beach girly or something, I also did hear marine biologist so idk if that applies to someone 🤣

It feels like your person has a hard time letting people know when it feels dark inside of them. I feel like they can be a bit restrictive at times, they could make you feel trapped or lost sometimes. Like you don't know where you're headed or what to look towards.

This person seems very unhealed. It feels like they will literally rip themselves apart for whoever they love. They intend well, they may have a tendency for secret self harm? Or very cruel and negative self talk and self image.

They could also be in the process of ending this cycle of self harm & being a martyr. It seems with the 6 of air that they are trying to start a new cycle in their lives. I guess we're getting a very balanced look at this person 🤣

They may be very traumatized.

Afraid of reality, or scared of vulnerability.

Mercury by Steve Lacy just came on, this person could be a Gemini!

Ykw. The 8 of earth just came out, this is some goddamn Virgo energy 🤣

I feel like this is the type of person who has a very practical improvement and solution oriented approach to life and relationships.

They could have Venus in capricorn, or DSC in capricorn (cancer rising).

It feels like they are fiercely loving & protective & loyal.

They really care about you, they care so deeply it hurts them sometimes. Because you may remind them of something or someone. Something they felt they could never have or attain. I feel like this person could be elevating your status somehow.

To me it feels like they're very methodical and forward thinking but also very eccentric and a bit chaotic mentally as well.

A very unique person, could be some intense uranian energy here as well. (Moon/mercury/ASC/10h aspect to Uranus)

I heard maladaptive but also thought of the word malediction.

So they could get very stuck in their head to the point they create almost like very negative manifestations of reality into existence in the world around them.

They're very scared of being hurt again & it honestly feels like they avoid deep connection. It's like superficiality can be easier because it is easier to maintain. This person could be very scarred by their past. It feels like a lot of trauma and loneliness was experienced by your person. They try their best to forget and it seems almost like whatever they experienced penetrated their heart very deeply.

They may have loved someone before that hurt them very very very badly. It feels like theres almost this innocent scared child inside of them. I heard sad eyes, it's important not to get into a savior complex.

Don't take on unnecessary baggage, if this is something you do want to engage with and they are working on themselves & healing I think this could be a really positive connection.

It feels like this person is a soul nurturer. They know how to make you feel like the center of their universe & It makes you feel very warm. I keep thinking of like velvet textures and sort of a 70's aesthetic in my mind. I'm also thinking of bootsy collins, they could have a retro aesthetic or vibe to them.

They may also like funk music, funkadelic/Parliament in particular comes to my mind for obvious reasons lol.

This person is really eccentric, they just stand out. It's weird the dichotomy of this person. They almost feel like a walking paradox 🤣

They could be very surprising, maybe they do & say a lot of unexpected stuff. You might never know how they'll respond to something or fully guess what they'd think about it.

They might really enjoy contrast, I also heard contrarian. So they may like to break the boundaries and barriers and ideas that people try to place upon them. This is very Aquarian/Uranian 🤣

We love a rebel

If you want a more detailed message on this person you can always dm me for a 1:1 in depth reading on this topic for 50$ 😚

Channeled messages:

Condescending, Let your hair down, Atrophied, Catastrophic, Nails on a chalkboard, Lonely, Drowning, Swallowing, Brown hair, Virgo, Gemini, Cap, Libra, Aqua, Cap venus

P I L E T W O

I feel like your person is goofy as fuck, they may be a stark contrast against people you've liked before. It seems like this person has brought you a lot of simultaneous joy and connection as well as heartbreak. I feel like this is someone who may be a provider, or who could be very humble. This is someone who will get the job done, one way or another. They may be the type to take on mundane or frustrating tasks. I feel like one of the ways this person shows love oddly enough is by dousing out their flame. It's not on purpose, but I think that this person may silence their selves and their needs super frequently in favor of allowing others to take up their space too. I feel like this person is very in their own mind. I heard "brother" and "sibling" so this person could feel like family to you. I also feel like this person makes you feel different. Like, almost as if you are your unique self expression. They could make you feel soft and feminine in ways you haven't experienced before. Which results in a lot of anxious, internalized, almost deflective energy between the both of you. In the Eve Oracle card which came out, her back is facing towards Adam as she holds an apple. It could be that you overlook this person's love at times, thinking that there is something better for you out there. That this person isn't worth your time, which, granted I can't tell you what to do or what your experience is. But, in my perspective, I think you actually need to give this person more credit. You need to be honest with them, and maybe put down the walls. I heard can't forget the past, so it's possible y'all had a difficult run. If that's the case & you can't forgive I feel like you need to ask yourself why you still participate in the connection. They clearly adore you, and it seems like you don't understand that they are capable of adoring you. They have a very deep admiration for you, I feel like they always have. This person may fight for you and defend you in ways you aren't aware of. It feels like a passive form of protection, you don't always understand that they are a bit more passive in their love language. This is someone who is more thoughtful than passionate. I feel like you two manifested each other in some way shape or form, especially if this is a romantic connection or friendship. I heard soul connection, your souls came across each other in this lifetime to help each other unleash and integrate your shadows. To purify your souls, and to release what no longer serves you. I just keep feeling that this person is very unique, they're nothing like what people might expect of them. I see here where you may not know it, but this person is kind of a master manifestor.

You could've also been family in a past life, the Mother Earth card came out with Saturn. So it feels like this is a very karmic relationship. I see where you may feel driven to let them go, or almost this push or pull to be with them simultaneously. I heard something about "the moon wants you to be together" which is weird? For someone this could have to do with Hekate. I also heard Lilith. I feel like this person is trying to step up to the plate but you aren't seeing it. For some reason astrology is extremely important in this connection, looking at the synastry between y'all could help you better grasp the magnitude of what you are both experiencing. It's crazy how this song is lining up in a way the lyrics are "Feel the warmth coming through Streams of light come into view In a daze, but coming to Slipping away, falling through"

I honestly recommend listening to this song for clarity, Invisible - The Groovy Nobody It feels like this connection was fated or destined, I heard written in the stars. You guys really need to look at your synastry together or something. If you and your person are into astrology. I also have Neptune with Black Moon Lilith in Pisces and Black Moon Lilith in Leo. It feels like your shadows almost become projected unto one another. The Sun also came out, it feels like you two Mirror heavily. I'm not big on twin flame shit, and never have been- HOW IN THE EVER. IF that's something that's come up HEALTHILY, and not in a dynamic that is actively harmful and abusive then MAYBE it's something you should POSSIBLY consider pondering as a concept and learning about soul connection. If this person treats you like shit then forget about it, immediately, and do not engage. I don't care how much they love you, if they're actively causing you intentional or unintentional damage in the same pattern even if you've communicated about it, and if they are unreceptive and unwilling to change kiss their ass goodbye.

Know your worth. I just want to make one thing abundantly clear here, which is the matter of the fact that any point you can come out of alignment with someone. The thing is, that everything is part of a cycle, and part of a collective. That's how collective energies work, so just as there are plenty of you in this particular collective having this particular experience there are more and less evolved versions of that same person. Different people of course, who are unique and different from your person. Yet, who have a similar energetic composition or depending on how things go that could even be YOU shifting into a new collective or them shifting into a new collective. This is about matching energy, but not in a petty way. Learning that the two of you are literal mirrors to each others souls', so just keep that in mind.

Astrological placements: 12H Sun, Gemini moon, mars in cancer/4h Mars, Mars square moon, Mars conjunct sun, moon in the 9th house or 9 degree moon, Aquarius Sun, Aquarius Moon, Venus in Capricorn.

Channeled words: Dominance, envy, compassionate, bones, baby blue converse tennis shoes, Santa muerte, stellaris, Planetarium, Cassiopeia, Vashti, Cereal Milk, Vampire Diaries, Courage the Cowardly dog, City of Angels,

P I L E T H R E E Whoever holds Feminine energy in this connection is a very powerful being. This is someone who has a commanding energy, very womanly, very witchy, very much dark Feminine energy. This Feminine is very in tune with their shadow, it seems like second nature to them low-key. This person may push the boundaries and limitations of what you previously thought you knew. This person may be contemplating their next moves at the moment. They could feel like they want to make shit work out in their favor in life for once. It's such a cosmic energy, it's so powerful. I feel like if you're the feminine energy this is your energy, I don't think the feminine energies in this pile fully grasp their power. You deserve what you desire. Anyways, back to you and your person! It's so crazy, because as I was pulling cards I kept thinking to myself how your person feels like outer space. Or like a void, but not in a negative way, it's just that their energy is very deep and almost reminds me of the darkness that exists within and without. This connection is likely deeply transformative for you in some way shape or form. Anyways, but ASHERAH fell out and I remember my mentor telling me before that when Asherah divorced from Yahweh she went to space. He told me about this because at the time I was super curious about Jack Parsons and asked about his suicide. A lot of people believe he killed himself to be with Asherah. ANYWHO LOL, This connection is meant to guide you towards your purpose. I heard high level soul mate, so you and this person could be very in tune and in a healthy state. There feels like a lot of passion and admiration. I'm channeling Dirty Woman by Pink Floyd, lmao wowww the song is 3:33 3 is the number of Saturn, and I low-key see this in a sense of longevity. This may be your person frfr, I feel like there's sooo much passion here. It's giving Aries. You could have Aries Mars, Moon, Venus, or Sun. This is deep awe-inspiring passion that lights your heart on fire. It feels like there is a deep creative or sexual connection here, take what resonates!

I just heard Mars in the 12th house? Idk why I started channeling I wanna be Evil by Eartha Kitt, I feel like this person is incredibly unorthodox. They may be a bit of an edgelord (it Is very Aries energy tho, so are we really surprised?) I feel like this is someone who can be sultry, passionate, and outgoing, but also is highly intelligent. Someone with a huge personality, they could be very Theatrical in their self expressions. It's very much giving Leo and Black Moon Lilith in Leo actually came out LOL with Queen Jezebel and The Black Madonna, and The Sun... so like, are we surprised at how big this person's energy is? It feels like you've never experienced someone like this person almost? I'm getting a lot of channeled Songs for this pile, The next one is 11 AM by Incubus. Your person could be depressed. They may be struggling with a lot of difficulty in how to move forward with this connection. They may feel estranged or disconnected at times, I feel like there is a deep wound they are healing. I also keep hearing evil eye, so you may need to be more private about your relationship or this friendship. This connection is very special, and people don't always understand it. I think there is at times judgement from others regarding this connection and it makes them feel pessimistic and isolated.

Don't be afraid to communicate with your person, I feel like they really care a lot for you. I keep feeling a weird feeling in my stomach, it could feel like the prospect of love is scary for one or both of you. Connection could be something that feels very dissonant at times to someone? It's important for you guys to not dwell in the past, to move forward with great passion and vigor is the best thing you can do. I think this pile needs to do some cleansing and hex removal, you'd possibly benefit from revisiting some of your old notes for some of you? Something in a notepad, or on a computer. Notes of some kind. Something about clues? that's so specific lol. Channeled Songs: I wanna be Evil - Eartha Kitt, Dirty Woman - Pink Floyd. Placements: Aries (Sun, moon, Mars, Neptune, Venus), 12h Mars, Mercury conjunct Jupiter Channeled messages: Past life energy, "keeper of keys", I heard "master of none" as well, catch me if you can, count your blessings, "I can't wait to meet you", FNAF?, LMAO tell me why I just channeled master builder (I need to rewatch the lego movie soon fr),

[tritoch]

i know a lot of people (very understandably) dislike the paladin job quests in ffxiv, particularly HW, but i do think it's fun that, now that the pre-ShB MSQ revamp is complete, paladins now have a very cool and thematic in-game storyline that happens without a word being spoken: the development of passage of arms.

none of the below is directly stated in the script, but imo it's a fairly obvious gloss on what the game presents, if you assume a paladin warrior of light. spoilers for all expansions through the end of 6.X.

in the new version of steps of faith, as vishap breaks through each ward protecting ishgard from attack, lucia mounts a final desperate effort to hold him back, with a very familiar looking animation:

but even lucia can't hold back vishap's flame alone, so the temple knights surge forward to assist her. their efforts make the shield visually more powerful and larger. the temple knights here band together in defense of ishgard, and their knightly resolve to protect their home is the difference between victory and defeat.

lucia and the knights do ultimately succeed in defending the last ward, as you have to defeat vishap before their shield falls or you lose.

later in heavensward, obviously, we will get ffxiv's most famous (failed) attempt at blocking something with a shield.

this moment can be read as fairly impactful on the warrior of light's development; as i've noted elsewhere, after the trauma of watching haurchefant bleed out in their arms at level 57, at level 58 paladins learn to channel their magic into healing (and it's called "clemency," or mercy. mercy for whom? who was guilty?), and as someone pointed out on that post, at level 58 dark knights used to get "sole survivor", letting them heal in response to a marked target's death.

for a time, you literally carry haurchefant's shield with you, and 3.3 very much literalizes in genre fashion the idea that even when you are standing alone, your fallen friends stand with you. you don't need to call any allies to stand at your side and raise their shields with you because they are already there, in spirit.

stormblood marks a pretty important turning point in the warrior of light as a combatant, in my opinion, and the text makes this clear in several ways. first, in pretty much all your jobs, you've now far exceeded your trainers and are pioneering new techniques. this is no less true of paladin, which for 60-70 abandons any trainers at all for you to show off your peerless skills in a tournament.

second, stormblood is straight up a story about you getting stronger. at level 61, zenos kicks your ass. at level 70, you kick his ass. why? because you fought and got stronger and developed incredible new techniques and became a one-man army.

for a lot of classes, this story lines up nicely with the big rotation changes or flashy new finishers on the way from 60 to 70. SMN is now busting out bahamut and casting akh morn; RDM gets verflare and verholy; DRG starts harnessing nidhogg's power directly through dragon sight and nastrond.

the tanks are divided in two: warriors and gunbreakers get huge damaging upgrades at 70 in the form of inner release and continuation, each of which lets them hit the same button many times for lots of damage and satisfying animations. paladin and dark knight get more protective abilities; dark knight gets the blackest night, and there's been plenty said about that already by pretty much everyone.

paladins get passage of arms. instead of a relentless new attack (and you get requiescat at 68, which is a way bigger deal for your dps rotation), your big reveal at 70 for zenos in your fight in ala mhigo is a superior way to protect your party, a shield that lets you stand for your allies so they never have to fall for you again. it's lucia's same shield, except you need no allies' shields to reinforce you, proof of your martial prowess and your ability to transcend limits, and perhaps in truth a reminder that you never really stand alone.

in many respects passage of arms should really feel like a paladin signature move to you now if you are playing it at this point, because you should be popping it in pretty much every fight (you are using your mits, right...?). basically every FFXIV fight has at least one big AOE with downtime that warrants passage of arms usage, usually after the mid-fight add phase with slowly filling bar. since that AOE usually drops during downtime, there's no reason not to pop passage of arms (which otherwise restricts your movement and actions), and even on normal, sometimes every little bit counts on a damage check even if it means dropping DPS (thinking here of harrowing hell P10N on release, which was...less consistent for a lot of roulette parties than you might hope).

so from 70 onward, passage of arms is in a sense a paladin warrior of light's signature move, and certainly the one a player gets to most actually enjoy (since if you're using it, you're by necessity not doing anything besides moving your camera and admiring your sick animation). it doesn't have any competition in terms of spectacle until confiteor, and those you're usually throwing out in the middle of movement.

it's such a signature, in fact, that the only other person shown using your one-person version of passage of arms is your greatest admirer, who studied your legend for over a century.

and it's when he fails (should've popped arm's length, bud) that the warrior of light decides they can't let their friends fall for them, and sends them away with the transporter beacon. this is all wrong: you were meant to die for them, not the other way around. yours is the shield that stands between your allies and defeat. it is you who will win this passage of arms and break your opponents lance. and you do.

and then later, when they need to quickly establish zero's domain as a place of fallen grandeur, the home of someone who once believed in heroes but is now a cool and cynical vampire hunter d, what do they use? a decayed statue of someone in the paladin endwalker gear doing the passage of arms animation, of course.

from a visible instantiation of knighthood as a joint effort to defend what is sacred, to a tribute to the fallen friends whose memories stand by you and animate you, to a symbol of the wol's power as emulated by their allies or darkly mirrored in other shards.

not bad for a mit button you hit once per fight and otherwise never think about!

[undeadcourier]

Ghouls are, put simply, humans suffering from advanced, prolonged radiation sickness and whose bodies have mutated such that gamma radiation extends their lifespan past natural limits.

The process of ghoulification is outlined in canon sources, but I wanted to make a guide that goes into more detail on the effects of radiation sickness in various cases, since the level and type of exposure significantly affects the outcome.

This is the first in what will be a series of posts exploring both real-life cases of radiation sickness and the sci-fi concept of ghoulification in some depth. Graphic descriptions of the physical deterioration of the body are included for informative purposes; reader discretion is advised.

For this first case study, I examine the effects on the human body of exposure to high levels of radiation in a short period of time, with a focus on the real case of Hisashi Ouchi.

On September 30, 1999, a lack of appropriate safety measures and the proper materials resulted in an accident that caused three workers at the nuclear power plant in Tōkai-mura, Japan, to suffer from severe radiation poisoning while purifying reactor fuel.

Point of Criticality

An uncontrolled fission reaction was produced when technicians poured nearly seven times the legal limit of uranium oxide into an improper vessel containing nitric acid. The men reported seeing a bright blue flash—indicative of Cherenkov radiation—when the mixture reached critical mass, flooding the room with radiation. The workers evacuated to the decontamination room, but already, the two who had been handling the reactive solution were overcome with intense pain from radiation burns, severe nausea, and difficulty breathing. Hisashi Ouchi, who suffered the highest level of exposure, also experienced rapid difficulties with mobility and coherence. Upon reaching the decontamination room, he vomited and fell unconscious.

~1 Hour Post-Exposure

Ouchi regained consciousness in the hospital about 70 minutes after the criticality accident, where doctors confirmed that he had been exposed to high doses of gamma, neutron, and other radiation.

The maximum allowable annual dose of radiation for nuclear technicians in Japan was 50 millisieverts. Exposure to more than 7 sieverts is considered fatal. Yutaka Yokokawa, the supervisor, had received 3 sieverts. The technicians who had been handling the uranium, Masato Shinohara and Hisashi Ouchi, received 10 sieverts and 17 sieverts, respectively.

~1 Day+ Post-Exposure

During the first few days in the ICU, Ouchi appeared to be in remarkably good condition, given the circumstances: the skin of his face and right hand was slightly red, as if by a sunburn, and swollen. His eyes were bloodshot, and he reported pain under his ear and right hand, which had received the most direct exposure, but he could speak normally, and he joked with the doctors and nurses attending to him.

6 Days Post-Exposure

Tests revealed that the high energy radiation that Ouchi had been exposed to had obliterated the chromosomes in his bone marrow. They were unrecognizable—some severed, some fused, all out of order. This damage meant that his body was unable to create new blood cells. The red blood cells that transport oxygen could not be replaced, and Ouchi's white blood cell count was near zero, leaving him extremely vulnerable to infection.

~1 Week+ Post-Exposure

Intensive treatments, including numerous skin grafts, blood and bone marrow transfusions, and revolutionary stem cell transplants were conducted in an attempt to stabilize Ouchi, but ultimately without lasting success.

The skin grafts couldn't hold; when medical tape was peeled from his skin, his skin came with it, and the marks left behind couldn't heal. Blisters like those of a burn appeared on his right hand.

Ouchi reported frequently that he was thirsty.

~10 Days Post-Exposure

By this point, Ouchi's oxygen levels were so low that even speaking required tremendous effort. Ouchi was placed on supplemental oxygen and required sedatives to be able to sleep.

2 Weeks+ Post-Exposure

Ouchi was no longer able to eat and required an IV. By day sixteen, most of the skin on the front side of his body had fallen off.

His low platelet count and lack of healthy skin meant that his blood and bodily fluids leaked through his damaged pores, resulting in unstable blood pressure.

Donor stem cells that were meant to allow his body to create new tissue were also destroyed by the radiation present in his body.

~1 Month Post-Exposure

On the 27th day following the accident, Ouchi suffered from intense diarrhea. The mucus layer of his large intestine had vanished, exposing the red submucosal layer beneath. His body could no longer disgest or absorb anything he ingested; even water was excreted as diarrhea.

The skin of Ouchi's right hand was almost entirely gone, leaving the surface of his hand raw and dark red. Blisters spread across his right arm and abdomen, then over his entire body. Gauze was required to replace his skin, and his fingers had to be individually wrapped to prevent them from sticking together. Without skin to keep him warm, Ouchi required an electrothermic device to maintain his body temperature while his bandages were changed—a daily procedure that took hours. Every time the gauze was removed, more of Ouchi's remaining skin went with it. His eyelids could not shut, and his eyes bled. His nails fell off.

Ouchi's right arm was necrotizing, leading to an increasing amount of myoglobin—a protein in muscle tissue—flowing in Ouchi's blood. Untreated, this could result in renal failure as the kidneys could not process the amount of myoglobin present.

Ouchi's body could not regenerate the platelets that form scabs, meaning the risk of hemorrhage was extreme.

By day 50, more than two liters of fluid seeped from Ouchi's damaged skin each day. The amount of fluid prevented skin grafts from adhering. Furthermore, he began to suffer from blood in his stool, and permeated blood seeped between his inflamed small and large intestines.

2 Months+ Post-Exposure

On the 59th day after the accident, Ouchi suffered the first of many heart attacks. His kidneys and liver were also failing. He no longer showed reactions to stimuli.

By day 63, Ouchi's macrophages—the immune cells that normally attack and consume bacteria and viruses—were attacking his own healthy blood cells.

After 67 days, Ouchi suffered internal hemorrhage. He bled from his mouth and intestines.

Ouchi would continue to suffer from heart attacks, as many as three in one hour. Each time, he was revived, but he suffered increasing brain damage, until multiple organ failure ended his life after 83 days in the hospital.

Ouchi's colleague Masato Shinohara underwent numerous successful skin grafts and a stem cell transfusion as well as radical cancer treatment, but he, too, died of multiple organ failure after seven months. Their supervisor, Yutaka Yokokawa, was treated for minor radiation sickness and was released from the hospital within three months of the accident.

This detailed chronology was referenced from the book A Slow Death: 83 Days of Radiation Sickness by Iwanami Shoten, translated by Maho Harada. My post, of course, focuses on Ouchi's physical condition in his final months, but it’s important to remember him not just as a victim or a patient. He was a loving husband and father whose sense of humor and resilience left an impression on everyone he came into contact with. The book is available in its entirety here and provides a moving, nuanced account of the incident and the efforts to save Ouchi's life.

[robo-writing]

Actually here’s a different version of that hurricane shot request, you can choose either! the different Logan’s reaction to their crush giving them a hurricane shot!

This can be considered a part two to this previous ask sent in by the same anon! The premise is the same :)

Origins Logan

✦ Never heard of it

✦ Unsure how he feels about the slap. He knows he doesn’t hate it, but it’s an unfamiliar feeling.

✦ More than likely the introduction to a future pain kink.

“Not sure how I felt about that doll. Might have to gimme another one, just to make sure.”

DOFP Logan

✦ Oh he’s heard of it alright. He’s practically bending over to get slapped

✦ Makes his cheek nice and visible, leans in real close to make sure you don’t miss

✦ When he does get slapped there’s a smug grin on his face the entire time. Turns back to you and says you can hit him harder than that.

“No need to be shy, I can take it.”

70s Logan

✦ He’s never heard of this before, but he’s always up for new things

✦ He gets real pissed at the water, the slap shuts him up entirely

✦ Whatever rage he once felt turns into a predatory lust, looking down at you like you’re his next meal

✦ You wanna play dirty? Fine, he can match you.

“Hope you’ve had your fun baby, because I’m definitely about to have some fun of my own.”

Old Man Logan

✦ He’s too old to be playing these games.

✦ Grabs your hand and pulls it to his face and tells you in no uncertain terms that if you wanna throw him around a bit you don’t need an excuse, he can handle it

✦ Well aware of his masochistic tendencies at this point—His healing factor might be running out, but his pain tolerance isn’t.

“Come on, right here,” he says, pointing to his cheek. “Make it hurt doll, gimme something to work with.”

Worst Logan

✦ Forgets about the shot entirely the moment you hit him.

✦ Kind of stares at you in shock for a while, enamored

✦ Wants you to do it again, but this time while you’re riding him

“I can figure out a better way to put those hands to use.”

[cbrownjc]

The one thing that I don’t get is if Devil’s Minion happened during the 70s, that means that Armand was basically leaving an heavily injured Louis alone in their house for long periods of time. In the book, Daniel and Armand basically move in together and spend all their time together. The Chase also seems like a full time job. I feel like Armand wouldn’t go do that, as he’s still madly in love with Louis during that time. He’d probably devote all of his time taking care of him. Or do vampires just heal faster, even with significant burns?

Hi!

So see, The Chase is actually why I think it was clever of the show to have Louis attempt what he did when he did, and be so severely injured by it. Because, as I said here, Louis having such extensive burns means there is really only one way for him to truly heal from them quickly and that is if he does the same thing Lestat had to do in the books when he was severely burned in the same way in the books and I feel we will see him be on the show (and probably was doing when Armand contacted him in 2x05 back in 1973) -- and that is to go underground, into the very earth itself, to sleep for a time and heal.

See, that is one reason Louis begged Armand to put him in his coffin at one point after he was hurt. Vampires heal quicker from injuries when they are in their coffins. And they heal even more quickly -- and grow even more strong in their abilities and powers -- if they go into the earth to sleep for a time.

In the books, Lestat went to sleep underground in the earth for 55 years from all the heavy injuries he got -- first when Claudia slit his throat, then when Louis set him on fire, and then, in Paris when Armand threw him off a tower. Lestat went underground, into the earth, to sleep from 1929 to 1984, to heal from all of that.

So I think Louis likely did the same thing for a short time after he and Armand left Daniel at the drug den -- Louis went into the earth to sleep and heal from his wounds.

And when a vampire is in the earth asleep, they are at their most safe from harm. Even during the burning from Akasha, the vampires who were asleep underground were not burned by her, because they couldn't be burned while within the ground. I'm only up to Chapter 15 of Prince Lestat, but that is a word and tactic that is being broadcast by Benji for all vampires to do during the worldwide second burnings -- to go into the earth, underground, if a burning begins where they are to escape it.

So in truth, Louis wouldn't actually need Armand to watch or take care of him once he was in the earth, underground, asleep. Because that's how Daniel actually first met Armand in the books. Armand was just hanging out at Lestat's house for decades, waiting for Lestat to wake up again while Lestat was asleep underground. Armand didn't need to watch or take care of Lestat as he was doing so -- Armand was just there because he had nowhere else to go. So when Daniel stumbled into Lestat's house looking for him, chasing Daniel actually gave him something to do.

And so I think the same will be true wrt the show. Once Louis goes into the earth to sleep and heal, Armand really isn't going to be needed by Louis for however long Louis sleeps underground. Just like in the books when it came to Lestat doing the same thing.

In fact, I can see a parallel with Lestat and Louis now both being underground and asleep at this point in time in the show, both healing from everything they have both gone through, as I honestly expect Lestat to also get severely burned during the events of Paris, just as we saw Louis get burned in 2x05.

So yeah, once Louis is safely underground, Armand will basically be by himself for however long that may last. And I can see his curiosity with that boy Louis called "fascinating" occupying his mind again, and him deciding to check up on that boy out of curiosity. And, as I said here, Daniel remembering the first interview still -- as well as the inspiring words he now had on repeat in his mind -- I think is going to have Daniel first looking for Louis and then, failing to find him again, will have him try to find Lestat.

Because in the books, all Daniel did to find Lestat's Garden District house -- which Lestat was sleeping under at the time -- was to go through property ownership documents in the Hall of Records in New Orleans, and find Lestat's name listed, right there, for a few properties, the Garden District house being one of them. Daniel, of course, would have never been able to actually get to Lestat himself, because Lestat was deeply buried under the earth at that time, but he still found the house easy. And then, when he arrived there, that's when Armand first caught him and locked him in the cage.

One of the things about The Chase I always wondered about before now wrt the show's version of it was what Louis would have been doing during it, as I always thought it was critical that only Armand and Daniel be involved in it. This is the main reason I thought The Chase in the show would only last a year or so, instead of the 4 years it lasts in the books.

But now, with Louis being so severely burned, I think that gives the answer. Just like Lestat, Louis will go into the earth, underground, to sleep and heal. And, just like in the books when Lestat did the same, Armand will be alone and on his own while he waits for Louis to wake up again. Which will probably take some years to happen.

And the only reason I don't think Louis will be asleep for the whole time Devil's Minion happened in the past -- which was 12 years in total -- is because of Louis calling Daniel "our boy." Meaning I think, at some point, Louis was with Armand and Daniel both sometime after Armand and Daniel fell in love and came together while Louis was asleep, and he and Daniel became even closer friends during that time. But who knows? Maybe Louis just calls Daniel "our boy" because of what took place during those 3-4 nights back in 1973 and nothing else, and Louis just sees Daniel as a "testament to their companionship" or whatever, and he really was underground asleep during almost the whole of Armand and Daniel's relationship. That is very possible as well IMO.

At any rate, I do think there might be something to Armand saying that he and Louis have been together "for 70 years" in the bedroom scene in episode 2x01, but then Louis saying they've been together "for 77 years" at the top of episode 2x02. Armand could have just been speaking in general numbers, or . . . maybe there is a 7-year gap when they weren't together. And maybe that gap is talking about the years Louis spent underground asleep and healing -- which it's clear that Louis himself wouldn't remember in the present-day, since he didn't even remember attempting to kill himself in the first place (thanks to Armand's memory reprogramming on him). And, during that 7-year gap, that is when The Chase happened, as well as 3 of the 8 years Armand and Daniel were fully together after confessing being in love with each other as well.

Which, come to think of it . . . if you do the math on that? 1973 + 7 years takes you to the year 1980. And if you look at Daniel's LinkedIn page, his writing credits didn't really start accumulating until 1981. As Daniel said himself, the 1970s are just a blur to him. And this could be why.

So I can imagine Louis waking up around 1980 or so and learning from Armand that he and Daniel are now together. And yes, I think Louis would be okay with it -- because hell, at least Armand wasn't alone while Louis was asleep healing, and Louis himself already has a fondness for Daniel anyway. (All of this happening being something Louis doesn't remember anymore now of course).

But between Daniel's growing career and Alice somehow coming into the picture sometime in the 1980s (because yes, I do think Alice is real, even if I also think a lot of Daniel's memories of her are really memories about Armand), things begin to go sour, with Daniel probably insecure because -- like in the book -- Armand kept refusing to turn Daniel so they can be together forever, and Armand reluctant to turn Daniel for a host of reasons I mentioned in this post, as well as probably not trusting Daniel to not run off and leave him once he is immortal (which is also a fear that Armand had wrt turning Daniel).

Anyway, so yeah, I actually think the reveal of Louis' burns strengthens the argument that Devil's Minion happened in the past because it now gives us an idea of what was going on with Louis not only during the time of The Chase, but also quite possibly the first 3 or so years of Armand and Daniel being a fully in-love couple. And that is that Louis went underground, into the earth, to sleep and heal. Just like Lestat was probably also doing from his own post-Paris wounds and injuries at that same time. Louis and Lestat both were safe underground in the earth -- which is the main way for vampires to heal faster from heavy wounds while being safe while they do so -- and didn't need anyone watching over them or taking care of them.

And so, just like in the book with Lestat when he was underground asleep (because in the books Armand and Louis had already long broken up and gone their separate ways when Armand was just hanging around Lestat's house waiting for him to be fully healed and wake up again), I feel the same thing likely happened on the show with Louis. Louis was asleep underground, in the earth, healing; and Armand was alone and left to his own devices because of that when The Chase between him and Daniel first began.

[ceilidho]

Every time I read about bear shifter! Price I get the urge to cook for him, so:

It’s in the beginning of his hibernation that he gets woken up by his doorbell, he probably forgot to turn it off.

Reluctantly he gets up to answer the door and is greeted with the sight of his pretty neighbor, with a bowl of hearty potato stew in her hand asking him if he wants some because she made to much (she always cooks for a small family despite living alone)

That’s how Price finds himself being fed through his hibernation by his neighbor. What a perfect wife/mate she makes :)

(At some point he probably gives her a key and tell’s her to just cook in his kitchen)

ok i really had to fan myself over this one

gruff bear shifter!Price who's been working himself to the bone trying to train the new rangers before his leave of absence. putting in 60-70 hour weeks, hardly leaving him any time to cook or clean or prep for hibernation. he hasn't even got done a quarter of the repairs around the house that he wanted to finish before slipping into the winter torpor.

groggily wakes up on the couch after a particularly rough shift. maybe he even ran into another bear (a real one) hassling a couple hikers and had to gently get them away before dealing with the other bear himself. and now he's full of cuts and bruises, his side only mending a particularly nasty gash because of his advanced healing. absolutely starving because he hasn't had a chance to cook himself any supper (and he barely had anything for lunch) only to find the sweetest thing waiting for him on his front porch with a bowl of stew and homemade sourdough bread.

and his interest just goes up and up as you continue feeding him throughout the week. perfect mate keeping his belly full, keeping him nourished after a hard day's work. keeps him company on the couch when he invites you over on the weekend and you're so grateful because otherwise you wouldn't have had anything to do, and you're shamefully a bit excited to spend more time with the hot older guy that's been your neighbour for the last six months. it's a shame that he's always so exhausted whenever you hang out, but you know how tough his job is.

you feeding him and spending time with him is confusing though. confuses his bear. it associates all those things with mate. so he can't help dragging you into his lap before passing out on the couch, leaving you befuddled and uncertain. his arms don't let you up though. they keep you pinned to his chest until he wakes back up an hour later, nuzzling the bristles of his beard over the soft skin of your neck and dragging a big palm up the inside of your thigh, seeking out the warmth between your legs even half-asleep.

[cainhart]

The symbolism of the snake embroidery on Vergil's clothes and my theories on how he might have acquired his outfit. (he's broke asf he didn't get it with money guys)

In the first Devil May Cry novel we learn that teenager Dante had his red jacket custom made. He is actually pissy about it when it gets ruined with bullet holes. He then wears a fuckass black jacket, which makes him look embarrassing.

Dante was drinking and using firearms when he was 15 or 16 years old; but he had a job (albeit his job being a MERCENARY. Also twins being European really shows because he was having drinking contests as a fucking 15 year old, god), so he had enough money to buy himself a custom made jacket. But the thing is, we don’t know how teenager Vergil got his outfit. It’s too well made to be bought in a normal store. Vergil probably had no money—though it is hinted that after Mundus' attack, young Vergil may have used public transportation (I also have a headcanon that he didn't know how to open a portal until he was at least 12 so that makes sense) and even bought himself food. These may have happened before or after the attack but let's say after the attack since Sparda, Eva, and the twins were living a secluded life. Still, being homeless and constantly on the run, his concept of the value of money is more like ‘money’ and ‘a LOT of money.’ He had no use for finance; what important was to get powerful and gain knowledge.

So, he probably didn’t get it with money. Vergil was never in one place long enough to earn money. I also don't see him as someone who would kill or hurt people to steal their money (he actually kinda did it in VoV,,, but that was different), so the idea of custom made clothing bought with human currency doesn't sit with me.

He might have used demonic magic to create his outfit. We see a demonstration of this in DMC5 with Trish, who uses her magic to literally recreate her entire outfit. This is very weird and left unexplained, which frustrates me because I need to rationalize things. Perhaps demons can do this because they can infuse anything with their demonic energy, and since the clothes they wear are made of organic material, they can recreate or even sew them back together. In Vergil's case, it's more like 'create a whole new outfit in mind's eye and boom now you have a ridiculous cravat.'

Another possibility is that he had it custom-made, but not with human currency. Demons, or at least a certain demonic/supernatural entity (the God of Time, aka the Divinity Statue), accept red orbs as a form of payment.

Vergil probably visited many places on his trauma blind journey of gaining power. I might overdo here, but what if he came across a strange tailor and they made a deal like, "You give me 70 thousand red orbs, and I give you a slutty vest, a ridiculous cravat, nice shoes and a cool coat with snake embroidery on it." and Vergil was like "Aight." Maybe he was intending to infuse his outfit with his magic anyway. It was a win-win situation.

It's funny to imagine Vergil designing his outfit, just being a teenager for once.

So, Vergil could have saved up red orbs to get a cool coat. Demonic establishments are kind of canon, so that’s a possibility. He was a teenager it’s only natural that he liked teenager things, even in his traumatized and hunted state. At a certain point in his life, he became strong enough to indulge in some of his likes.

Speaking of snake embroidery, Vergil has SO MUCH snake symbolism on him, and on his clothes too! Snakes were adored and respected throughout history before paganism started to get shitted on. Snakes represent wisdom, REBIRTH, healing, transformation, and knowledge. That’s why Satan, disguised as a snake, gave Eve the apple (knowledge) (also, knowledge of the occult was really given to women first). The snake detail on his clothes might even be magic, too. It's nearly an occult symbol on its own. Maybe a sigil? I know sigils aren't a thing in DMC but I don't care I'll go apeshit with my theories.

Whether the serpent detail was intentional or unintentional, it’s still a great detail considering his story and character. He goes through transformation (Nero Angelo), then rebirth (Vergil rebirth party in DMC5), and healing (basically the whole plot of Visions of V).

So, just teenager Vergil researching the occult and being fascinated with the symbolism of the serpent. OR he straight up stole it. :l This bitch split his demonic and human self apart and like 1 day after his human self came to existence he had to deal with money and his first thought was to steal it. Anyway, that's all. Have a good day!

[sirfrogsworth]

Froglock Holmes, Internet Sleuth

I don't remember dates very well, but I believe sometime in the mid 2000s I had a friend drive me from St. Louis to Detroit. It was a very difficult journey. I have never done well as a car passenger and driving for an entire day was one of the more miserable experiences in my life.

But I got through it because I was *convinced* I was about to be cured. Back then it was the only thing I wished for and I was willing to try absolutely anything.

So we were off to see the Wizard about my wish.

During that time there were no doctors in St. Louis who knew anything about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But I found a website for a medical company that claimed if I saw one of their approved doctors, they could guarantee a 50% improvement. And when I did my pre-interview on the phone, that lady said some patients experienced a full recovery. To which I replied, "Yes, I will take one full recovery please."

But the closest approved specialist I could find was in Detroit and she would only treat me if I did my first consultation in person. She would then continue treating me over the phone.

My friend took three days off and she borrowed her parent's SUV so I would have leg room during the 8 hour trip. We loaded up on snacks and compact discs and began our road trip to wellness. We merged onto the Yellow Brick Road (a.k.a. I-70 East) and headed toward the land of Marshall Mathers.

The more I got car sick, the more I focused on asking the Wizard to grant my wish.

A new... mitochondria?

Plus several trillion.

A new several trillion little powerhouses.

This doctor was part of a national network of facilities that claimed they could effectively treat Fibromyalgia and CFS with a groundbreaking 6 step "holistic" approach. It was super holistic. Extra super duper holistic. The website made sure you knew it was holistic.

And those 6 steps sounded very fancy.

I mean, that all seems pretty legit. They were going to enhance my cells and address coagulation deficits. That's a thing, right?

Now I know that "holistic" is a buzzword that should be met with skepticism, but back then I was really hopeful they could help me. They enthusiastically made bold promises and filled me with such assured hope that I sold my car to help pay for everything.

We arrived in Detroit the evening before the appointment. I slept maybe an hour. Morning eventually arrived and we headed to the office. They gave me a clipboard full of paperwork that took forever to fill out.

"Can I please just see the Wizard and get my wish?"

I got to the exam room and they put me in a gown with the butt showing—which I don't think my friend was prepared for. I have a condition known as Hank Hill Butt and it can take a bit of getting used to upon first glance.

My poor friend refused to make eye contact while I was wearing it.

The doctor finally arrived and this supernatural healing wizard turned out to be a very short Greek lady. She asked dozens of questions—most of which I answered on the forms already. She poked my belly, checked my reflexes, and at no point did her examination require a gown with the butt showing.

She officially diagnosed me with severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and told me she was going to type up a custom treatment regimen and while she was doing that, I was going to get a special IV they designed to specifically combat CFS.

They took me to a room full of comfy reclining chairs and hooked me to an IV full of orange nonsense. Once that was done I met back up with the Wizard and she had created the afore-mentioned "customized" treatment regimen full of expensive supplements and vitamins that were not covered by insurance. Many of which I had to buy directly from the facility. As I looked over the treatment worksheet, I realized they gave the same document to all of the patients.

It was at this point, 560 miles away from my home, stuck in some office in the suburbs of Detroit (which will eventually be taken over by a tooth pulp dentist), with my Hank Hill butt hanging out...

I realized this could have been an email.

I decided to put everything on three different credit cards. Combined with the money from my car, I had about $20,000 to invest in fixing my broken body. My plan was to get all better so I could get a job and pay everything back. I even told the doctor this brilliant financial stratagem and she agreed it was a good plan. No notes.

Young Froggie was being hit in the face with red flag after red flag and Old Froggie is a little embarrassed about that.

I don't remember any of the supplements, but they had names like "EnergyMax Plus" and "Ultra MitoBooster 3000." They definitely sounded like legitimate, evidenced-backed medical supplements and not knockoff energy drinks endorsed by D-list Instagram influencers.

It wasn't all overpriced vitamins though. The doctor had some silly ideas that were actually covered by insurance. She said I should thin my blood so it took less energy to circulate. And I should boost my testosterone levels above the typical range to improve energy. So I had to inject myself with blood thinners and rub testosterone cream on my legs every day for months.

The blood thinners gave me tons of painful bruises at the injection sites and made me dizzy from time to time. The shots became so painful I would have to close my eyes and have my dad inject me. Otherwise I would chicken out. We kept running out of places that didn't have bruises so he would just pick the smallest bruise and stick the needle there.

And the testosterone cream had an interesting side effect that I am debating whether to talk about as I write this sentence.

Okay, I'm just going to tell you.

We are all adults here and we can handle adult conversations while remaining dignified and mature.

The testosterone cream gave me constant, spontaneous, hours-long boners.

I hadn't experienced anything like it since I was a teenager. No erotic inspiration required other than a gentle breeze. Only this time I didn't have a math book to hide behind.

None of it helped my fatigue.

In fact, the constant bonerpalooza was exhausting to deal with.

"Oh look, that actress I enjoy has a fully exposed ankle." "I bet that attractive lady has boobs under that heavy winter coat." "Hey, is it Wednesday?"

At some point it becomes a chore, ya know?

Thank god it was well before 2014, because if I had seen Chris Evans bicep curling a helicopter I probably would have needed hospitalization.

/end dignified adult conversation

After six months I had 0% of the promised 30-50% improvement 90% of the time and she kept saying I just needed to give it more time. She said it works quicker with the IVs full of orange nonsense. But they custom made those IVs and can only administer them in Detroit. She claimed the oral supplements were filled with the same nonsense, but took much longer to kick in. She told me I could be patient or drive to Detroit once a week for an IV treatment if I wanted faster results. If that were true, I feel like that should have been disclosed at the beginning. But I was assured I could get the same results without the IV treatments.

It didn't matter at that point. My credit cards were maxed out and I was out of money. I called the doctor and asked if there was any treatment she could recommend that was covered by my insurance. She got very quiet and awkwardly said she would try to figure something out. Roughly 30 minutes later I was emailed a coupon for $20 off our next phone consultation. I responded and told her I literally had no money left.

I never heard from her again.

The Wizard had no ability to grant my wish for several trillion properly functioning mitochondrias. She had no magic treatment. I finally saw her for what she truly was.

With perfect hindsight I could now see all of the red flags.

Though if I hadn't at least tried, I probably would have wondered and regretted it.

Hard to say.

I was kind of amazed how they built a country wide collection of clinics and they were able to operate for years solely on the placebo effect.

Years later I was curious what happened to this network of quackery. I found a news article saying it was all shut down due to fraud. I don't think they had a holistic approach to paying their taxes.

The reason I am telling this tale is because I have been playing detective and gathering evidence for my disability case. I started to wonder if maybe I could find my fraudulent Wizard to see if she had any kind of records or something that might help me. I knew it was a long shot, but I didn't want to leave a stone unturned.

At first all I could remember was her last name and that she was a D.O. and not an M.D. Standard Google searches were not turning up anything. I couldn't find her current practice nor any contact information. Apparently her Greek last name is a popular Arabic first name for men... so all my searches kept resulting in doctor dudes. This was not the time for a sausage fest and I was getting frustrated.

And then I finally remembered the name of the medical company.

Fibromyalgia & Fatigue Centers, Inc.

I even remembered their URL... fibroandfatigue.com

So I went to the Wayback Machine and I was able to find their now-defunct website. I suddenly remembered its cloudy banner image and "concerned_woman.png" like it was yesterday.

Why, yes... I am tired of being tired.

I also remembered their promise that over 90% of patients had at least a 30-50% improvement. Which was the claim that sent me down this rabbit hole to begin with all those years ago.

I started searching different versions of the site to see how their claims of effectiveness changed over time. At first they basically implied they made everyone completely better.

If I saw that I would definitely think I was getting a cure. But I imagine this caused some problems so they had to dial it back a bit.

I couldn't find the 90% version, but I did find the 30-50%.

This actually sounds like you have a 100% chance of a 30 to 50% improvement.

As I skipped around to the archived captures of different years, the promised percentage kept changing. I don't think they did an actual statistical analysis of their patients. I think they just picked a percentage that sounded enticing without promising too much. Just enough to be life-changing with a built-in excuse for when it all goes tits up.

Years after my experience, the site finally settled on a 65% improvement in energy levels. It was on their new page detailing how "affordable" their treatment was.

$20,000, you say? Balderdash, no one would spend that much.

If you were curious, they claim their treatment is now affordable due to a new monthly payment plan system. It did not become any cheaper.

However, under the 65% promise, they added this disclaimer with a large bold heading...

Success depends largely on your dedication and commitment. Our most successful patients are the ones who make the commitment to follow the treatment program rigorously. Patients who are aggressive and comply with the treatment process experience significantly better long-term results than those whose dedication is half-hearted and whose compliance is minimal.

In other words, "If our bullshit supplements don't work, it is YOUR fault."

Or in my case... "If you run out of money, it is YOUR fault."

Oh and there was also this...

Looking at all of the versions of the Fibro & Fatigue, Inc website was certainly fascinating, but I had to quit dicking clicking around and find my focus.

I still had detective-ing to do.

I was on the hunt for a Detroit-area Greek doctor of osteopathy.

There were ~250 captures of the site between 2004 and 2016. She wasn't listed in the newest captures, nor the oldest captures. So I kept trying to drill down to find the exact time period she worked at the company.

And then... EUREKA!

She was hiding in 2005 on their "Meet the Doctors" page.

Her first name was *drumroll* Sultana!

I can't imagine why I didn't remember that common first name.

Finally, after weeks of trying to figure this out, I now had enough information to do a proper Google search and discover what the heck she is currently up to. Probably putting people in open-butt gowns to check their tonsils or something.

*googling noises intensify*

I'm not sure I've ever come across such a literal dead end.

Should I be making puns about this?

I mean, she did help exploit me out of my entire life savings and put me in significant credit card debt with the Sex Panther-approved promise of a guaranteed 30-50% recovery 90% of the time.

And the institution she was a part of was shut down for fraud.

Still... I never wished an early death upon her.

I would have been happy with a trip to small claims court.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 70)

Uzi didn't go out very much. That was kinda a given. People didn't like her very much, and she didn't like people. But today she had arrands to run, namely, picking up more oil. And heading to the market.

And it totally wasn't a way to get V off her ass. No, no way.

So now she was milling through the crowd of people with Tera in tow, bat plush and all, being the only toy that she hadn't chewed to ribbons. The toddler was clinging to her, curled into her shoulder as she quietly looked over her mother's shoulder at all the people passing by. She was more used to it now, but it was clear she still wasn't a fan.

Uzi found that she'd walked into the kids store again, weather on purpose or by accident she couldn't tell herself. She contemplated on getting Tera a new toy, but the chances were she'd tear it up before they even got home.

She did put some new bedding into a basket she'd picked up on her way in, since Tera had begun to chew hers as well, adding some dark greys in with the purple, maybe a change would prevent her from destroying what she slept on. Maybe.

“I can't wait until you grow out of this ‘destroy everything in sight’ phase…” She sighed bitterly, talking to her toddler as if she could understand what that meant, Tera only gave her a toothy, wide smile.

“Oh no, do I have to worry about that?” A familiar voice called out, and Uzi whipped around to face whoever it was. Coming face to face with Delilah, smiling at here while holding Kiara, who looked much more mobile then the month prior.

“Hi!” Tera immediately beamed at the both of them, showing off her new pointy teeth, Kiara stared at her for a good moment, before smiling back, not seeming to notice the difference.

“Oooh, those are new.” Delilah pointed out, leaning in slightly to take a gander at them, putting a hand underneath her chin. Uzi was just glad she wasn't freaked out.

“New and destructive… N and I’s hands are covered in nips, and all my pillows are ribbons…” She showed off the many small dents in her hands that her solver had yet to heal, for whatever reason it seemed to ignore superficial wounds… N's newest mark on her neck proved that, as it was still there.

“Well, both you and your husband have fangs right? So it's not that weird.” Uzi's breath caught in her throat for a moment, before she realized that yeah, thar entire support group thought they were married, and she hadn't corrected anybody.

She could correct her now.

“Yeah, I guess, we just didn't expect it.”

Or not.

“You did say she was adopted right? I can see why it caught you two off guard.” Delilah chuckled before her eyes landed on Uzi, where they squinted as if something was wrong. Tera and Kiara babbled at each other, having a riveting nonsensical conversation.

“Is that a bite mark on your neck?” Delilah asked, a teasing expression written on her face as Uzi quickly clasped a hand over the small indentation on her metal, her visor went completely purple, almost covering her eyelights.

“I- Uh. N-no?”

She'd never before felt this kind of visceral embarrassment, mouth instantly evaporating of all moisture as the drone in front of her giggled like a little schoolgirl at her reaction.

It wasn't her fault N tended to leave love bites! Or that the stupid solver loved to let them stay visible on her casing for a couple days!

“So he bites, that makes sense.” Delilah winked teasingly, making Uzi's blush somehow grow worse, no one had ever paid that much attention to her, so she was absolutely not prepared for it.

“He's n-not violent or anything…” She defended weakly, still embarrassed as all hell, she just didn't want anyone under the impression that N would actually hurt her intentionally. He just… got excited.

“Oh I'm sure. He gives me puppy energy. Did he take a treat too fast?’ Delilah teased again, making Uzi want to keel over and perish from how hot her face was getting.

“Okay, Okay! I'll stop! You're so easy to embarrass.” Delilah chuckled, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder that surprisingly Uzi didn't want to immediately push off.

Oh God, character growth. Ew.

“What brings you here anyway? Tera need another toy?” Okay, this was normal small talk, she could do normal small talk.

“Bedding, and I'm just looking; going to need more supplies soon.” She replied absentmindedly, not realizing what she was very much implying until Delilah let out a squeal.

“Oh! You're pregnant!? Oh my- congratulations! How far along are you? Are you doing okay? Are you getting enough charge?” Her voice sped up as she asked in quick succession, clearly excited beyond measure. It felt… nice to have someone so excited for her, after everyone's initial reaction was less then positive.

“Uh, two months, I'm fine, really.” She replied, being basic as hell but not sure how else to answer.

“That's amazing! I felt so much like crap carrying Kiara I couldn't get up out of bed! And you're just, here, shopping on your own. I'm kinda jealous.” She admitted, though speaking of Kiara, her and Tera were now making random hand gestures at each other.

“Oh no, I feel miserable. I passed out a couple of days ago, and this morning I was so dizzy I walked into the bedroom door, I’m just uh… powering through, I’ve been through worse.” Uzi admitted, smiling although it was clearly slightly pained, it was true though, she had felt worse.

“Aw, yeah… I remember feeling so exhausted I slept for 48 hours… Rick wasn’t happy about that-heh.”

This was nice… talking about symptoms with someone who actually somewhat understood what she was going through even if it wasn’t exact. (Since she doubted Delilah grew Kiara herself.)

“Oh! Sorry Uzi, I have to go. I’ve been yapping too long.” She waved goodbye, Kiara giving a tiny wave to Tera as well, who replied with her own, incredibly enthusiastic one.

Uzi smiled a little, heading back to what she was doing; heading to the baby section to see what she might need.

Her eyes roamed over bottles and colorful bottle tips, onesies of every color and design, roll-toys that rattled, small felt plushies for pillbabies to sleep with and blankets, so many different blankets.

And that same, off-white bespectacled owl blanket she’d seen last time, she reached out towards it again, for some reason still drawn to it, it was extremely soft, made of thick felt and yes; was incredibly cute.

So she put it in the basket, if she was going to be drawn to this random blanket then she would buy it, no use in not, she’d need a baby blanket for the newborn anyway.

The rest of the day went much the same, carrying Tera around, explaining what each shop was to her even if she probably didn’t understand every word she was saying, and picking up a few things they needed, cleaners, snacks, (and another microchip to snack on.) Until she headed off in the direction of the nursery with a bag full of stuff and a sleepy toddler, now dozing off into her shoulder. Uzi snatched the bat plush out of her hand before she dropped it, and shoved it in her pocket, rubbing calming circles into her kits back as she drifted off. And Uzi could start to hear light snoring

“Zi!” Thad’s voice came from behind her, and she didn’t bother to turn around to face him, instead she kept walking towards the nursery as Thad came up to her side, books in hand. Oh yeah, school was still a thing. She’d stopped going after she’d moved in full time with N, technically being independent, she no longer was required to go.

“Hey Thad, did school just let out?” She asked, and Thad nodded looking relieved.

“Finally. Lizzy and Chloe got into a catfight, I think Chloe said something about N and V, and well… you know Liz.” He explained sheepishly, smiling a bit when he noticed Tera asleep in her shoulder.

“You been doing okay? N’s been telling me you feel like garbage.”

“I’m fine. What’s with that? V’s been on my case too.” Uzi replied, while all this care was nice, she wasn’t used to it, and now it had begun to get on her fraying nerves.

“I’m just looking out, V is too.” Thad shrugged, he was standing awfully close to her side, and he hadn’t stopped walking in the same direction she was despite the fact that his apartment was in the other direction. She was a little confused, first V was hanging around, now Thad was not so subtly escorting her around?

“Your apartment is the other way.”

“Yup. You’re going to the nursery right? I’m going with you.” Thad gave her no room to refuse, keeping her pace as they made their way up and around towards the nursery. It’s not like she minded his company, but it didn’t make his behavior any less weird.

“Isn’t that Guy? The co-worker N doesn’t like?” At the entrance to the nursery, there he was, out of uniform, so clearly off the clock, talking to a couple of girls that looked only moderately interested in what he was saying. Until apparently he said something that offended one of them, because one of them reared back and slapped him across the visor.

Somehow, Uzi was not surprised.

“Looks like it, not sure why he’s here, I don’t think he has kids… I hope he doesn’t have kids.” She rephrased, imagining Guy being a decent dad was near impossible, he just didn’t seem responsible enough, among other, creepier things.

“Let’s just get you your oil and get out of here.” Thad suggested, moving to stand between her and where Guy was, ushering her inside, as far as she knew, Thad didn’t have any beef with Guy, but with the way Thad looked back with a glare, maybe he did.

He was standing even closer now, almost enough that he was physically touching her, and his focus seemed to be on their surroundings, he still said hello to the people he recognized around them (I.e everybody.) but he seemed like he was standing guard more then anything. It… almost reminded her of how territorial N would get sometimes.

She got her oil. After saying a brief hello and catch up with Mrs. Rayn, who only complimented about how healthy Tera looked, and told her to “take care of herself.” Before having to check on a new batch of adorable little pillbabies- it looked like the birthrate had skyrocketed, the nursery was almost at capacity.

“She looks busy.”

“Mmhm.” Thad replied, tense.

“Dude, what is your damage?”

“He keeps looking at you.” He grumbled, gesturing over to where Guy was standing, he was taking unsubtle long glances at her, making her roll her eyes and punch Thad lightly to knock him out of his funk.

“He’s stupid, but harmless. Come on, since your adamant about escorting me, you can walk me home.” Thad smiled, taking the bag full of oil canisters and carrying it for her as they began to leave, but alas; “Hey, uh, Miss Doorman.”

Guy had approached, standing far out of biting distance, but looking at her awkwardly, she could feel Thad tense up next to her, clearly not happy at all.

“Guy. How’s your hand?” Ah, the immediate veiled threat. She idly wondered how much damage Tera could do to his hand now that she had fangs, probably significantly more.

“F-fine, thanks.” He rubbed the back of his head, blushing red a little, Uzi kind of wanted to gag.

“What do you want?” Thad asked, voice not nearly as friendly as it normally was, apparently Thad also got bad vibes from him, if he also had his hackles raised.

“W-what? Can’t I talk to a co-workers girl?” Guy was taller then Thad by quite a bit, so maybe he was less threatened by him then N.

“Not when you clearly have a thing for her, no.”

Unfortunately for Guy, Thad was less instinctually polite then N ever would be, so he was unrestrained in calling him out on his nonsense.

“Wh- well clearly so do you! Or you wouldn’t be standing so close. Her boyfriend will be pretty pissed if he finds out you’ve been making moves, he’s a murder drone you know?” Guy grinned, clearly taking this as some sort of weird challenge rather then the warning it was, Thad pushed Uzi and Tera behind him, using himself as a shield.

“Yeah, I know. He’s my best friend. Stay the hell away from my sister.” Thad barked, having Guy immediately back up slightly, looking a bit off-balance. Uzi looked at him strangely, as far as she knew, she was an only child, but the sentiment was sweet.

“Khan only has the one kid.” He said dumbly.

“And if you touch her I’ll make sure your parents have one less. Back off.” Thad almost growled, but he clearly didn’t have the vocal structure to actually make the sound, so it just sounded like an aggressive gravelly grunt.

“Fine! Whatever.” Guy grumbled and walked away with his hands in his pockets, mumbling to himself, Thad huffed, turning back to Uzi to look her over like she’d been in danger, she smiled at him.

“Dude.”

“Yeah, I know, you can take care of yourself and didn’t need me to do that.” Thad replied, either not noticing or trying hard not to bring any attention to what he just said, he ruffled Tera’s hair as she slept, making her smile in her sleep.

“Nah, thank you. I wouldn’t have been so nice.” She chuckled, making him smile as he led her back down to her apartment, halfway walking backwards.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

[raptorix]

I just wanna see what the implications of juicing up 70 whole Lay on Hands health points into a level 0 non-combatant NPC child who was literally wasting away is. I am imagining this kid just leapt to his feet and dashed out of the hospital like a kid who ate half his candy stash from Halloween. Like Trist's healing magic just gave him back all his withered muscles and tissue and his body is screaming to 'move' because he's trying to contain too much DIVINE energy. The kid just ran out of the hospital so fast they didn't notice him being there any longer. He's booking a 1 way trip off of Aeor, he just got a vision of what's to come and he's gonna do a LEAVE.

[luna-rainbow]

Hi! I don't know if you have already read this Bucky's "analysis": https://www.tumblr.com/dreadnought-dear-captain/651270983166132224/cw-this-essay-is-about-about-trauma-including?source=share

I find it absurd that a person who claims to be knowledgeable in the psychological area and also to have lived through traumatic experiences themselves, can say that the depiction of therapy in TFATWS is OK and that it is "right" or "healthy" for Bucky to "take responsibility" for something he had no agency in. This is one of the many aspects that seem to me to be terribly wrong.

I'd be very grateful if you could share your opinion.

Sorry for the late reply, life’s been really hectic lately!

I vaguely remember reading this back in 2021. I don’t know if I ever got through the whole thing. I’m not trained in psychology so I can’t pretend to be any sort of expert.

There are some points I agree with, particularly to the headcanon that Bucky is actually very resilient rather than “fragile” — he has to be, to have lasted that long under Hydra, retained most of his innate willingness for good, and for Hydra to have been forced to use the methods they did to break him. While we’re on this topic, it’s not uncommon that people who leave abusive situations go through a period of “fragility” or being more open with expressing their vulnerability, because they’ve finally exited survival mode. I’m always soft for recovery fics where Bucky clearly has that stubborn resilient streak but also lets himself be vulnerable in front of someone he trusts.

It's not the first time that a self-proclaimed psychologist has tried to justify Bucky's arc in TFATWS with reclamation of agency (I feel like I've read a similar essay from someone else). My problem with these analyses has always been - Bucky is not a real patient, he's a fictional creation, therefore any talk about his psychology and in particular internal consistency can only be as good as the narrative. When you have a narrative that is as clunky as TFATWS, where it clearly made no attempt to consider Bucky's past, character, and motivations in many of the choices he made, it's ridiculous to examine this Bucky as though the writer had intended him to be a study of trauma recovery. It's like trying to debate the safest speed the Titan submersible should have descended at, when the real problem is that it's a creaking tin can from the get-go.

The problem with the reclamation of agency argument is the same problem with his healing arc. Just as Bucky already reclaimed his humanity and social connections by the support he got from the Wakandans, Bucky also already reclaimed his agency in the preceding movies. Are we forgetting his first act of disobedience to his handlers in pulling Steve out from the river instead of finishing his mission? Past that, he spent two years living a crime free and reasonably cosy life. He had a roof over his head, he was dressed clean and groomed, he was going out and conversing politely with shopkeepers, his apartment was sparsely furnished but lived in. All of these took a series of careful choices from someone who not only was forced to live with no agency for 70 years, but also had no identity, no documents, no money, and likely very little familiarity with this new world he's woken up to. He also made major choices that directly impacted the world around him, whether it was to divulge the location of the other Winter Soldiers, or joining Steve against the other Avengers, or choosing to go back to cryo, or accepting T'Challa's recruitment to go back onto the battlefield. He was not forced in any of these choices, and he had a lot to lose in each of them, but he still made the choice -- and the people around him, Steve and T'Challa, allowed him to make that call.

So yes, theoretically, if Bucky was a real patient, of course agency is a major theme in his recovery and a way to redirect away from overwhelming helplessness (although...Bucky's never acted as though he falls comfortably onto learned helplessness; again, the first thing we see him do as soon as he recalls any inkling of his past is to take agency into his own hands). But narratively? This is just regressing Bucky back to...oh, I don't know, early post-CATWS and retreading the recovery path he had already demonstrated.

And sure, trauma recovery is something that happens over a long period of time and people can vacillate between well-adjusted and emotional wreck, and we can argue given the events of Endgame, there's good reason for Bucky to have rollercoasted to an emotional slump by TFATWS. But - once again - this is a fictional construct, and if you took a step back and looked at the narrative as a whole instead of "Bucky should be allowed to make bad choices because he's mentally ill", there is no character justification for why Bucky would break Zemo out of jail or fight with Wakanda, very borderline justification for why Bucky would confuse the shield for his friendship with Steve, and minimal justification for why Bucky would crash Sam's mission in the first place. Not to mention the 20 things that doesn't make sense about the Flagsmashers and post-Blip world, and what authority Sam and Bucky were even working under. If the overarching narrative doesn't make sense, what even is the use of trying to rationalise his actions in a psychological sense?

As to your specific point about "the depiction of therapy in TFATWS is OK and that it is "right" or "healthy" for Bucky to "take responsibility" for something he had no agency in" - I'm not sure how it's argued in the original essay because I don't want to read the whole thing, but this feels like a really weird therapeutic strategy. If we equate Bucky's situation to rape - which we probably can after they inserted the stomach turning scene of Zemo selling Bucky to Selby - I'd like to know which therapist would sit with their rape victim and say it's "right and healthy" for them to take responsibility for the rape, ie the situation during which Bucky had no control over his identity or wishes. From what I've seen and read of victims in recovery, whether that's as survivors of abuse or rape or homocide, they find solace in taking control of the emotions they are left with in recovery -- i.e. the grief or rage or indignation, and repurposing that into a sense of mission, such as starting victim help groups or campaigning for policy change or fighting to get the criminals arrested. But again, that's not reclaiming the situation as something they had "responsibility" for, but rather to make the best with their experience and being a safety net for others. But that hadn't been what Bucky's therapy was about, Raynor was basically implying Bucky was dangerous and out of control and needs to make amends to prove himself stable. It wasn't about unravelling what Bucky feels about the long helpless 70 years of imprisonment and redirecting it to a sense of purpose, it was to make Bucky "pay back" the other victims...as a parole condition to make him suitable for society.

So no, it was not an appropriate therapeutic intervention, because at no point did it have Bucky's best interest at heart, nor - based on Sebastian's portrayal - did it have Bucky's buy-in. And as I've always said, it was also incredibly unfair to the other victims on the receiving end of Bucky's unexpected appearance and "amends" without any sort of neutral mediator.