#5x05 AU

[unproduciblesmackdown]

pinning to the workshop corkboard: you've heard of winston "i'm cassandra" billions clairvoyance concepts for fun & profit, hear also of winston billions sphinx concepts (you must be This understanding of what he means to proceed)

[strandnreyes]

couple’s counseling + sex scene in 5x05…. If there is any implication that they haven’t been intimate in awhile then @paperstorm and I’s fic is now an AU 🤠🤠🤠

[winterscaptain]

A Joyful Future Masterlist - Part I

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader  Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

updated: november 15th, 2021 total finished works: 166 works in progress: 23 planned works: 107

summary: canon-divergent, big family!au

currently working on absence part ii and the mean-it era

beta’d by @ssaic-jareau​, without whom none of this would be possible

resources and links: 

inspo blog + media folder

faq + cheat sheets 

headcanon masterlist 

to-write list 

find upcoming fics here | join my tag list! | submit an idea! 

please read faq and key before asking a question! 

▶ episodes i’m planning to adapt for ajf ✸ smut - explicit sexual content (18+ only, minors dni) ✦ suggestive content - non-explicit suggestions of intimacy, drinking, etc. ☰ fem!reader (all other fics are gender neutral) ◎ graphic/edit ✂ director’s commentary ☎ podfic 

Part I: Cicatrize

Ao3 Link

2007

Advocate Cicatrize ✂ | 3x01 "Doubt" - 3x11 "Birthright" Ambition Aaron Hotchner's Letter of Recommendation ◎

2008

▶ Working Title: Reflections | 3x05 "Seven Seconds" ▶ Working Title: Worser Instincts | 3x16 "Elephant's Memory" ▶ Working Title: Developments | 3x17 "In Heat" Dreaming ✦ Intellectual Guesswork | 3x19 "Tabula Rasa" Familiarity | Crossover: NCIS 5x19 "Judgement Day, Part II" Focused | 3x20 "Lo-Fi" - 4x01 "Mayhem" Constellations | 4x02 "The Angel Maker" Buffer Through and Through | 4x03 "Minimal Loss" ▶ Working Title: Milestone | 4x05 "Catching Out" Players Bedtime ▶ Working Title: Grounded | 4x07 "Memoriam" Pride | 4x08 "Masterpiece" Dead Man's Hand ☰ | 4x09 "52 Pickup" Unfair Midnight ✦

2009

At Risk Part I | 4x10 "Brothers at Arms" - 4x11 "Normal" At Risk Part II | 4x12 "Soul Mates" - 4x13 "Bloodline" A Kindness | 4x16 "Pleasure is My Business"

Part II: Fear Itself

Ao3 Link

2009

No Deal | 4x18 "Omnivore" ▶  Working Title: TBD | 4x21 "A Shade of Grey" Collision | 4x23 "Roadkill" ▶  Working Title: TBD | 4x24 "Amplification" Outnumbered Fear Itself | 5x01 "Faceless, Nameless" Enough ✂ Infirmity | 5x02 "Haunted" Push | 5x04 "Cradle to Grave" 5x05 "The Eyes Have It" Nightmare Realized | 5x09 "100" Hands | 5x09 "100" Nightmare Recalled | 5x09 "100" Stay Arrangements An Unrivaled Force of Nature | 5x10 "The Slave of Duty"

2010

Exceeding Expectations | 5x11 "Retaliation" Three's Company Sunburnt ▶  Working Title: TBD | 5x18 "The Fight" A Horrible First | 5x16 "Right of Passage" Unbecoming | 5x21 "Exit Wounds" ▶  Working Title: Blackout | 5x23-6x01 "Darkest Hour/Longest Night" An Opinion

Part III: Berry Hill

Ao3 Link

2010

A Real Hero | 6x09 "Devil's Night" Short Notice Berry Hill ▶ Working Title: Berry Hill (Aaron's Version) Two Inches Stowaway ✸

2011

No Help A Chance of Snow Waldosia | 6x18 "Lauren" - 6x24 "The Big Sea" Absence | 6x24 "The Big Sea" - 7x01 "It Takes a Village" Mean It ✸ ☰ | 7x01 "It Takes a Village" Mean It (SFW + Gender Neutral) ✦ | 7x01 "It Takes a Village" Firsts ✦ Impression Gossip: A Prelude ✦ ☰ Surreal About Time Second Best Obligated | 7x10 "There's No Place Like Home" Conspiracy The Pleasures of the Elder ✦ ☎ Not Complaining ✸ Mistletoe ✦ ✂ Bring It ✸

2012

Gifts & Notices Symptoms Hide

Masterlist Part II

Masterlist Part III

[merlinemrys]

Hello there! I saw you giving some recs for Merlin fics and wanted to ask for some too if you don't mind 👉👈

Do you have any recommendations for Merthur gen angst hurt/comfort? Hell I need more angst in my blood stream

of course!!! idk if u mean merthur w a general rating or just gen fic that's focused on arthur & merlin, but just to play it safe im doing gen fic 💙 if u mean merthur fics that are gen rated then just lmk !

scorch marks and embers by southfarthing (rated t, 93k)

Summary: Everyone he trusted with his secret – Will, Freya, Balinor, Lancelot, and now Gaius – was gone. Arthur would never bring magic back to the land, and he would never let Merlin stand at his side the way Merlin had hoped he would. It was a cold awakening, years of baseless faith dashed against the fraying tapestry that destiny had made Merlin sew into his own skin, but an awakening nonetheless. Merlin is shaken out of his obsession with destiny and his blind faith in Arthur. Arthur just wishes he knew how to get his closest friend back.

New Beginnings by nsowlwrites97 (rated t, 33k)

Summary: Traitor. Merlin. Magic. Merlin. Traitor. Friend. Sorcerer. Merlin. The words seemed to lose their meaning the more Arthur tried to make sense of them, bleeding in and through each other like ink dissolving in water. The only fact he knew to be true – absolutely, permanently, irrevocably true – was that Merlin was dead.

go boldly by CaptainOzone (rated gen, 7k)

Summary: “It is not like you,” Arthur muses suddenly, and very, very quietly, “to lie to me.” Merlin’s lungs freeze in his chest. “What?” he chokes out. Or: yet another 5x05 The Disir AU.

New Duties by s0mmerspr0ssen (rated t, 17k)

Summary: With Uther’s death, Arthur ascends to the throne and officially becomes King of Camelot. Naturally, this means that Merlin is now the King’s manservant, not the Prince’s. What sounds like mere semantics turns out to be much more than that. As Merlin struggles to keep up with the demands of his new job, Arthur finds himself burdened by the realities of kingly responsibilities. Soon, the strain of stress puts their friendship to the test…

Treason by N16 (rated t, 9k)

Summary: Arthur knows four things: Merlin committed treason. Merlin is loyal to him. Merlin wants to tell Arthur the truth. Merlin is scared Arthur will kill him. All he needs to figure out now is what on earth his servant has actually done.

Loyalties by reelin_writer (rated t, 25k)

Summary: “Arthur.” “Merlin?” he said, instantly angry. He shoved himself into a sitting position, fumbling for the candle on the table by the bed, and blustered, “What on earth are you doing? It’s the middle of the night! I don’t know about you, but that’s when I sleep. Don’t you--” Finally managing to get the candle lit, he looked up at Merlin, fully prepared to continue his lecture. But the words died in his throat at the sight of the young servant, and he choked in the rush of panic that assaulted him. “Merlin!”

The Price of Loyalty by Obsessionist (rated t, 18k)

Summary: Uther activates a device that repels magic, but Merlin's loyalty to Arthur knows no bounds.

Loyalty Was Never A Question by ValiantGinger (rated t, 27k)

Summary: Morgana gets her hands on something that puts Merlin in very serious danger. When Arthur's manservant goes missing, he can't help but be worried about him - worry that becomes legitimate when it becomes clear that Merlin is being used as a trap to lure Arthur in. Still, it's Merlin. How can he do anything but go and rescue him?

Between A Rock and A Hard Place by LFB72 (rated t, 30k)

Summary: A visiting noble makes Arthur an offer he can't refuse, putting Merlin's secret in jeopardy. The warlock takes drastic action, risking his health and ability to respond when crisis strikes.

[jellybeanium124]

in 5x05 of "the marvelous mrs. maisel" midge is on a boat outside manhattan in international waters, doing stand up for a group of diaper cream reps. after the gig she catches one of them sexually harassing one of the boat staff, so she intervenes and accidentally tosses his jacket, which was sitting on the railing, into the river. the jacket had a wallet in it and the wallet had money in it and on a boat in international water, she technically committed an act of piracy. our flag au where this starts stede's life of crime when?

[nade2308]

GIFS AND EDITS MASTERLIST POST 4

(Recently I went back to the MacGyver 2016 tag on my tumblr and found some edits and gifs I made from the show, the edits for fica not included because those were scattered around, maybe I will locate them at some point. I am making a separate masterlist post for them because they take a whole list plus the links from previous masterlists. Going back to something that made me happy is always a good thing.)

Previous masterlists: one || two || three

MacGyver 2016

Mac and Jack edit (1x03)

Another Mac and Jack edit (1x03)

Mac and Jack edit (1x04)

Mac and Jack edit (1x05)

Mac and Jack edit 1x08

Mac and Jack edit 1 (2x07)

Mac and Jack edit 2 (2x07)

Mac and Jack edit 3 (2x07)

WK edit

Mac wolf edit

Find your voice edit

Mac and Jack with colored hair

Broken things edit

Meme

Team Phoenix moodboards/colors: Mac || Jack || Riley || Bozer || Sam || Russ || Desi || Matty

Team Phoenix moodboards: Mac || Jack || Bozer || Riley

Mac phoenix edit

Mac edit

Jack and Riley edit

Jack and Thomas AU edit

Jack and Bozer on the side of the road (2x21)

Mac talking about Jack + references from episodes

Mac and woods edit

Mac and Jack edit 1x19

Variation on theme edits

Black and white Mac and Jack edit

Photographer Jack edit

Boys (1x12)

Black and white Mac edit

Father's day edits: Riley || Mac

The Phoenix Firestone Club edits

WK Mac edit

Mac and Jack soft edit

Mac and freckles

Focused imps

1x07 edits

Mac edit 1x07

Mac, Jack and Riley edit

Mac reading in prison

Jack to the rescue

Disoriented Mac

Scared Mac

Mac doing his things

Tense Mac

Mac being "searched" edit

First Mac gif

Mac gif

A scene from 3x05

Mac coming out of the fire like the phoenix

Mac and Jack gifset ("Same blood" by Aloe Blacc)

Sad Mac gifset (1x19)

Mac and Jack gifset

Not so subtle Mac in 3x02: part 1 |{ part 2

Mac and Jack gifset (Riding the lightning)

Lucas and George gifs

Mac + flinching

Video from 1x19

The team in 2x03

Hurt Mac gifset

Mac and Jack gifset - trust (2x12)

Mac and Jack gifs (1x02)

Improvise gif

Goofy Jack gif

Bundled Mac in 3x05

Boys in sync (1x09)

Jack winking

Whumped Mac (1x07)

Mac gifs (1x07)

Sad Mac in 5x05

Mac and Jack on the plane gifs (3x10)

Mac stabbing his thigh with the scissors (2x09)

Wunderkind gifset

Parallels

MacGyver 2016 2x23 and 3x14 parallels

MacGyver 2016 and Son of the South parallel

Jack and Nick parallel

Nick and Mac outfit parallel

[bussterj]

I just watched LEGO Masters (AU) 5x05 "Vertical"

[zkalways]

Focal Point - Chapter 16  A fluffy update for you guys! Hope you enjoy https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12480507/16/Focal-Point

[maggieoconnell]

The Whiz-Kid vs The Queen Bee

[okmcintyre]

because it's what we deserve.

[heartbellamy]

Hello friends! We’re back again with another Bellarke Creator Shoutout! How has October been for you all? Anybody doing anything fun this month? Anyway, I’ve got some awesome fanworks to share again. We’ve got gifs and photo edits and fanart and fic, definitely a healthy share of Bellarke creations for you all! A couple of these are coming from #TheBestOfThe100 which has been providing some great content this past month. Take a look below and share some love! 💛

5x05 Gifset by @kris-lulu

Bellamy Looking At Clarke Gifset by @bellamyblake

Happiness Lyrics Gifset by @princessrhcenyra

Hug Aesthetic Gifset by @kateemcintyre

#Wildfire AU by @thelittlefanpire

Book-Inspired Fanart by @/charlotte_penn on instagram

Season Six Arm Touches Photoset by @/bellarkethinker on twitter

It Was Always You Fic (Rated T, Modern AU, Fluff And Angst and Idiots In Love) by @carrieeve

Over The River And Through The Woods Fic (Rated T, Fantasy AU, Magic and Fae!Clarke, WIP) by @xxawalkinwonderlandxx

Your Beauty Never Ever Scared Me Fic (Rated G, Fairytale AU, Curses and True Love’s Kiss, WIP) by @asroarke

Remember to give these works some love to let our creators know how much we appreciate them! And feel free to tag me in any of your Bellarke-related creations! 💖

PREVIOUS SEGMENTS: PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10 | PART 11 | PART 12 | PART 13 | PART 14 | PART 15 | PART 16 | PART 17 | PART 18 | PART 19 | PART 20 | PART 21 | PART 22 | PART 23 | PART 24 | PART 25 | PART 26 | PART 27 | PART 28 | PART 29 | PART 30 | PART 31 | PART 32 | PART 33 | PART 34 | PART 35 | PART 36

[quietparanoiac]

Oh, mais oui, on vous connaît, hein ! Vite, vite, vite, toujours vite...

Kaamelott (2005-2009), 5x05 | 5x08 (Le Royaume Sans Tête | Le Garçon Qui Criait Au Loup)

[fromiftowhen]

I just read through y our entire catalog of fics for Chenford and I am DYING for you to write more. Do you think there's a chance you might? No pressure, but I just really enjoyed your writing style and would love more from you. 💙

Thank you, anon! I'm so glad you enjoyed the fics! I had so much fun writing them.

I never say never about fic. I don't have any Chenford fics I'm currently working on, but I always have older stuff stashed away in my WIP that I hope to return to one day. I did have a post-ep 5x05 fic idea, but I haven't tried to sit down and write it yet. I love Tim and Lucy (individually and together) so, so much, and I hope that'll lead me back to writing for them at some point.

(It's hard for me to say for sure, because I'm very much the writer that when canon is giving me what I want - which right now is pining and slow burn etc. - I have less interest in writing fic. But I love a good missing scene or post-ep fic, and AU ideas come out of nowhere sometimes, so maybe!)

[mikereads]

Andrea uses the v.r to see Russell. Memories of him that are like old videos to say goodbye to him. After Kara and Lenas (breakup) I mean fight she looks at a photo of her to see her (not only a memory but a form of video/ you get my idea). Not to mention Kara found a photo Andrea had of her and Russell in her office in 5x05. They also transitioned from the scene of Andrea morning over Rusell. To Lena and Kara mourning over each other. While the same song played in the background for both scenes. Andreas monologue follows Supercorps story/ dialogue. Kara’s says she can save Lena and Alex isn’t sure but she assures her “yes I do!” While Andrea wasn’t able to save Russell Kara was with Lena (5x08).

Kara gives Alex advice and directly parallels her own relationship to Lena with Alex’s relationship to her girlfriend Kelly. The same song plays over both scenes. Earlier in the episode Alex told Kara “Lena wants your relationship back on track too” referring to their lunch date. The scene ends with Alex saying “I hope so for the both of us”. In relation to things working out, which they do.

I really can’t remember much from 5x14. It’s basically about a woman trying to take Obsidian down. To get justice for what happened to her husband Todd. Amy’s husband was killed by V.R tech. She did this to save everyone from the same faith her husband suffered. Kara goes to calm her down by giving her a hope speech. She tells her she understands how she feels. She knows what happened and reassures she feels the same but you can’t change the past. When the entire episode prior was about her going into the past to try and save her relationship with Lena. She literally compares her relationship with Lena to Amy and her husbands. Kara and Amy’s stories follow similar patterns. Trying to stop the V.R tech and get justice for the person they love/lost (Lena/ Todd). I noticed this when I first watched but knowing how the season ends. With Kara and Lenas matching dialogue/ speeches in 5x19 says a lot. Kara even contemplate using the v.r after her fight with Lena.

In 5x19 Mgann asks Nia about Brainy. She says it wasn’t just a relationship they were partners who protected each other. She just wasn’t able to protect him from himself/ working with Lex. Um sound familiar. In s2 Kara vowed to always protect Lena. “I will always protect you”. They are referred to as partners in not only the Au. After crisis Alex told Kara that she and Lena were partners on this world. In 5x03 Alex says “Lena wants your relationship back on track”. Not friendship but relationship. When talking to Amy Kara says she understands. Amy wanted people to engage with loved ones. Kara separates friends from partners. This was during her and Lenas falling out. This was also the same speech where she mentions Lena (regarding the aus). In 4x12 Kara uses the term partner as romantic when talking about what she wants for Alex. “Alex, she wants a partner”.

Kara gave Lena an ultimatum. Either work with her (them) or Lex. Nia gave Brainy the same one. Nias dialogue matches up with a lot of how Kara felt this season towards Lena. About trust, which is similar to how she felt in s3. They both swore to protect each other but with being on opposite sides outs a rift on that.

There were other parallels from other seasons. For ex: Brainy filling Nias office with bento boxes. Lena filling Kara’s office with flowers. I wanted to focus on what mainly happened during s5. This doesn’t even show all the times Kara mentioned Lena while discussing the topic of romance/dating. Also again Supercorp endgame! (Freely comment below any additions you want).

[refinedbuffoonery]

Broken Like Me (1)

masterlist.

THIS FIC IS NOT INTENDED FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18. Please see the masterlist for content warnings. 

Here it is, the long-awaited dark!MacRiley AU! First, I want to thank my lovely beta readers and my life-saving brainstorming/workshop buddy. You all know who you are. ❤

This fic adheres to canon through 5x05 and then goes off the fucking rails. Backstory and other important tidbits of information revealed in the latter half of season 5 may be used, but timeline-wise anything after 5x05 does not exist in this fic. Also, Jack is dead and is staying dead, so don’t get your hopes up for a happy ending. 

I will do my best to update this regularly, but hanging out in and writing such dark headspaces is HARD. I will definitely be taking breaks to write fluffier fic, because a big chunk of this story is all hurt and no comfort. 

Without further adieu, let’s get this party started. (It’s not a party. In fact, it’s like...the opposite of a party.) 

*****

They say he was a good man. 

A good soldier. 

A good father. 

A good friend. 

They say they are sorry for her loss, sorry he was taken from this world too soon. 

They say Jack would be proud of the legacy he left behind, would be proud to have gone out in a blaze of glory. 

Riley is sick of it. 

It’s like she’s a teenager, and Jack is leaving her all over again. Only this time it’s worse. This time there’s no coming back. 

The guests at the wake gaze at the folded up American flag on the fireplace mantle with deep respect, but Riley only feels anger every time she glimpses the piece of fabric the government sent back in his place. A flag and a life insurance claim feel like a mockery of the kind of man Jack Dalton was. 

Was. Past tense. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

*****

Mac has never been afraid of Riley before. 

He’s seen her angry and upset, but the rage-filled woman he stopped from killing Anya Vitez with her bare hands back in Croatia is someone he does not know. 

The frightening part is that Riley isn’t a hot-headed person. In work mode, she is cold and calculating, so for her to go after Vitez like that...something inside her snapped. 

Three weeks have passed since then, and every time he looks at Riley, Mac remembers holding her back, fingers digging sharply into her waist until she stopped fighting him. He sees the fury radiating off Riley’s body like heat waves off asphalt—sees the way she clings to it, finds purpose in it, letting it consume her so there’s no room for guilt or grief. Mac knows the feeling all too well. And he also knows there will be a very loud thud when she finally comes crashing back down. 

But he also knows that the woman is like a loaded gun, safety off and desperate to fire at something. 

Which is why he worries when Matty calls them in for an op and Riley isn’t there. She’s at Vitez’s trial, Matty informs them, but that doesn’t make Mac feel any better. Whenever there’s downtime during the mission, and Mac’s mind is free to wander, he can't stop thinking about her. This new Riley is becoming obsessively vengeful, and if someone doesn’t reel her back in soon, she might do something she can’t come back from.

The thought plagues Mac every second there aren’t bullets whizzing toward his head. 

After the op, Mac drives to Riley’s apartment. Upon arrival, his ears are assaulted by Riley’s upstairs neighbor blasting Macklemore’s greatest hits. Mac hears the lyrics clear as day, even though both his truck windows and the apartment windows are closed. 

Riley really shouldn’t have moved out of Mac’s house, not if this is her best option. He still doesn’t understand why she did. 

It doesn’t take long to notice the GTO is missing. Riley should be back from the trial by now, but Mac has a sneaking suspicion where she is. 

The drive to Jack’s apartment seems to take forever. The brick building is in an older neighborhood, one of few affordable ones with trees planted along the sidewalks—a luxury in LA. Sure enough, the GTO is parked on the curb, not far from the fire escape that connects to Jack’s living room.

Looking up, Mac spies a familiar body perched on the stairs. 

Riley sits on the fire escape, soaking in the last rays of sunlight. Her eyes are closed, head resting against the brick wall. Mac doesn’t say anything as he sits beside her on the narrow metal stairs, their hips and thighs just touching. 

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Should he hug her? Hold her hand? Leave her alone? Riley isn’t a super touchy person. Mac decides on the latter, picking at his fingernails while his gaze drifts west to study the sunset. 

Several minutes pass before Riley says, “Hey.” Her voice is low and scratchy, like she’s been crying. 

“Hey,” Mac repeats. “How long have you been here?” 

Riley shifts beside him, sitting up. “I don’t know. A while.” 

“This isn’t the first time you’ve come here, is it?” 

A sigh. “No, it’s not.” Mac figures as much. Aside from the constant clamor of the city, Jack’s apartment is relatively quiet. It’s not in the greatest neighborhood, but it’s safe enough for Riley to sit alone and think. Or not think. Whatever she feels like doing. 

Riley rests her head on Mac’s shoulder, and a wave of protectiveness floods his system. It’s new, this need to watch her back more than the others’. It came on so gradually that Mac doesn’t know when it started or what triggered it, only that he feels it all the time now. Especially after Jack’s…

He avoids examining the feeling too closely. 

Without warning, Riley says, “If you hadn’t held me back, I would’ve killed her.” 

Knowing exactly who she was talking about, Mac glances down at Riley in surprise. He knows it’s true—thinks so himself—but hearing it come out of her mouth makes his stomach turn. The last, and only, time Riley killed someone...it took her months to piece herself back together afterward. And that death was in self-defense. 

This one would’ve been murder. Intentional and vindictive. 

Mac isn’t sure Riley could come back from that, at least not as herself. The woman who would emerge from that would be a total stranger inside his best friend’s body. Mac suppresses a shiver. “I know,” he says.

“Thank you for stopping me.” Riley’s voice is quiet. So, so quiet. 

“You would’ve done the same for me.” Gingerly, Mac wraps his arm around Riley’s shoulders, ready to let go at the first sign of her discomfort. When she doesn’t react, he relaxes and holds her more surely. 

The sky is painted in vibrant oranges and reds, fading into deep blue overhead. Subtle strokes of pink outline the scattered clouds hanging above the horizon. Out of all the sunsets Mac has seen, all over the world, nothing quite compares to the ones here at home. He wishes Jack was here to see it. 

Mac spends far too long debating whether to bring it up before asking, “Why did you go to the trial?” Agents, especially secret ones, don’t go to trials, mostly to keep their identities safe. Publicly tying oneself to a case is never a good idea, for more reasons that Mac can begin to name. 

“I swore I’d be there every step of the way. I meant it.” Mac tries not to bristle at the snarling, defensive edge to Riley’s tone. “Eventually, she’ll make a mistake, and I will be there when she does. And then I’m going to rip out her entire organization from the roots up.” 

Fear wraps its ugly hand around Mac’s heart. Until every single person associated with Tiberius Kovac is behind bars, there will be a target on Riley’s back, and Riley will have put it there herself. Losing one person to Kovac is more than enough; Mac refuses to lose Riley too. 

“How can I help you?” 

Riley looks up, eyes wide like she’s expecting him to try to talk her out of it, not offer to help. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“And miss out on all the fun?” Mac almost smiles as he quotes her. Almost. 

She sits up. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m going to hack Interpol first, to see which of her colleagues might also be dirty. So unless you secretly picked up hacking…” 

Mac huffs. “Sorry, I only hack hardware.” He expects some insane, crackhead plan, not something so…reasonable. Maybe Riley isn’t as off-the-rails as he thought. 

But only maybe. 

A seagull perches on the railing below them, honking and squawking for seemingly no reason at all. Gulls are just like that. It glares at Mac, pinning him to his spot with a beady yellow eye, challenging Mac to shoo it away. 

Go find some tourists to harass, Mac wants to snark at it. Leave us alone. 

The seagull cocks its head, as if to say, I know something you don’t. 

Mac narrows his eyes. I bet you do. 

He swears the seagull shrugs before taking off, flying low over the GTO before sailing over rooftops on its way back to the ocean. It passes a billboard advertising a new blockbuster spy thriller, the product of millions of dollars and Hollywood plot recycling. Mac saw the trailer. The movie is about a soldier who joined the CIA in a quest for retribution after his best friend came home in a box. Usually Mac likes watching spy movies—mostly to make fun of them—but this one hits a little too close to home. 

It takes a monumental effort to tear his gaze away. 

When his eyes finally meet Riley’s, Mac understands the silent ache in them—the ache that’s surely reflected in his own eyes. He and Riley are drowning, but at least they’re drowning together. 

Mac frowns. That must be the dimmest “on the bright side” thought he’s ever had. 

Riley doesn’t say anything more, so neither does Mac. They sit on the fire escape until long after the sun sets and the temperature drops, and the city's nightlife stretches its limbs as it wakes. Mac shivers, but Riley seems oddly unaffected by the cold. That or she’s too numb to notice. 

He threads his still semi-warm fingers through her icy ones, letting their joined hands rest on his knee. It seems like his last tether to the Riley he knows and loves, one who’s slowly slipping away from him and being replaced by a woman who might very well bring the world to its knees as payback for all that it’s done to her. 

Mac has no interest in ever meeting that woman. Mostly because he refuses to lose his Riley, but also because Mac knows he won’t be able to resist that other Riley. She will slash his restraint beyond repair, and Mac will follow her to the ends of the earth. 

He will find a way to keep them both afloat. He has to. 

Or else the Phoenix may very well be hunting him and Riley again, and this time, they’ll deserve it.

*****

Entering her apartment later that night, Riley realizes too late that it isn’t empty. Bozer is still there, and he’s making dinner. Locking the door behind her, she hears a rushed, “Got to go, Matty. She’s home.” 

Bozer crashed on her couch the night they got the news and never left. I don't want you to be alone, Bozer keeps saying, despite her insistence she doesn’t need a babysitter. Other than that, they don’t speak to each other much. In fact, Riley wouldn't have noticed he said anything at all if not for the way he stares at her, standing at the stove and twirling a wooden spoon between his fingers. 

"What?" she snaps. 

Carefully, Bozer asks, "How was the trial?" 

"Fine." Riley knows he cares, and that he’s hurting too, but nothing he says or does is going to help her. The sooner he figures that out the better. She drops her keys and jacket on a chair before heading for her bedroom. 

“You hungry?” he calls after her. 

Riley yanks off her boots, chucking them into the closet with too much force. “No.” 

“Have you eaten anything today?” 

Her fuse is running short these days, and she’s just about had it with his incessant smothering and questioning. Riley marches into the kitchen, rolling her shoulders back and bracing her hands on the counter. “Last I checked, I still have a mother, so if you’re just going to keep nagging me, then I think it’s time you get the fuck out of my apartment.” 

Bozer’s eyes widen and his mouth opens, but no sound comes out. 

“Get out,” Riley snarls. 

Still struggling to regain his ability to speak, Bozer stammers, “At least let me finish making you dinner first.” 

“Fine.” Cracking her knuckles, Riley retreats to her bedroom once more. “I’m taking a shower. You better be gone when I come out.” She doesn’t wait for a response. 

When Riley emerges, her dinner is cold, and Bozer is long gone. 

She doesn’t eat.

*****

On the second day of Vitez’s trial, Riley sits in the back of the room long after the trial adjourns for the day, thinking. She didn’t recognize the witnesses who testified today, and as the prosecutor called each one forward, Riley wished she had her laptop so she could look them up. Now, as she stares over the rows of empty wooden seats to the section where the jury sat, Riley can only hope that the witnesses’ testimonies are enough. 

Riley knows there’s more than enough evidence to convict Vitez—especially since she recorded the confession herself—but obsessing over the trial is easier than facing the reality waiting outside the courthouse doors. 

Her mom invited her to visit his grave today, after the trial, but Riley declined. Facing that slab of granite will make it real, make it…permanent. 

She knows what it says. Jack Dalton. Beloved. Gone too soon. Someone asked for her approval before it was made. It doesn’t say nearly enough to encapsulate all that he was, but at the time Riley couldn’t think about it—couldn’t look at it—long enough to suggest any changes. She still can’t. 

Chewing her lip, Riley anxiously toys with her rings, spinning them and moving them from finger to finger. 

At the wake, one of his old Delta buddies joked that the gravestone should read “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers,” but Riley didn’t laugh. 

Riley hasn’t laughed since Matty broke the news. It’s like the part of her that knows how to feel joy died in that explosion too. 

Instead, she wants to scream at the universe until her voice gives out, cursing it for taking her dad away too soon. Because that’s what he is. Her dad. Riley doesn’t even know when she started calling him that again, but if she has to guess, it was sometime between the first “I’m proud of you, honey” and him kicking her ass at skee-ball for the millionth time.

Tears leak from Riley’s eyes without her consent. 

It feels like she failed him, in a way. By not being there. By not keeping him alive. 

Now the best she can do is make sure his death means something. 

Vitez will go to prison for the rest of her life, that Riley is sure of. But the rest of her organization is still out there, and Riley intends on putting every single member behind bars. No amount of justice will even begin to heal the Jack-shaped wound in her heart, but at least the world will be better for it. Safer. 

But she’d rather live in a more dangerous world with him still in it than a safer one without. That way they could save the world together, like they always did. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

Anger rumbles through her body, like a Texas thunderstorm in her veins. It’s the only emotion Riley feels anymore, ever since the sadness gave way to numbness. 

A woman in a security uniform pokes her head in the room. “Excuse me, ma’am. I need to lock up for the night.” When Riley doesn’t respond, the woman adds, “Are you okay?” 

Are you okay? Riley hates that question more than all the others. How are you? Have you eaten today? What can I do to help? 

She feels like she’s dying. She can’t eat. Nothing will help. 

But that isn’t what people want to hear. Even Mac asked that last question, yesterday on the fire escape, although Riley didn’t automatically despise the question like she usually did. It’s different coming from him than anyone else; his offer was genuine, not coming from pity or obligation.

She isn’t surprised Mac recognized her need to do something. After all, he had been the same way after his dad was killed. 

Coldly, Riley finally says,“I will be.” The woman doesn’t deserve her abrupt answer, but Riley can’t quite bring herself to care. She lets the anger the questions bring up fuel her, lets it hold her together. 

The anger is all she has left. 

Riley stands, her heels clicking on the floor as she exits the courthouse. 

She’s coming for all the monsters who hurt him. She’s coming for the ones who rendered him nothing more than ashes on the wind, the ones who turned her life into a nightmare she can’t wake up from. 

Because she doesn’t need to wake up to become theirs.

~

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[hoediaz]

Monkey beach au??? (I have no idea what that could possibly mean so I'm very curious!)

YES well monkey beach is a novel by eden robinson which is very good and i def recommend but truthfully has pretty much nothing to do with this au outside of being a speculative novel KSKSKD i was just writing an essay on monkey beach when i decided i wanted to write something ~ weird and ~ speculative for buddie so they are now forever linked. i have not actually. written anything for this, but the premise is that everything is the same, except that eddie has Seen Weird Shit his entire life but has always just ignored it bc he's eddie. but he Stops being able to ignore it when, after buck tries to transfer at the end of 5x05, buck uh. Disappears! along with everyone's memories of him. obviously eddie is the only one who #remembers him (and maybe maddie....) and then i'm not really sure where we go from there that's future zoe's problem

ask me about my wips!