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mr-payjay · 17 days

Text

Paper Stream Interview Transcript!!!!!!!

This took me forever. But I like transcribing. The transcript is under the cut ❤️

Fan: We have… the next best thing. That's right. OJ's... righthand man! Uh—well—some could say. Um. In—uh—uh—our guest of honor, tonight, that's right, you've all been waiting for it: PAPER!

Paper: Haha, hey everyone! Um... I wasn't really expecting to, come on out tonight!

Fan: Neither was I.

Paper: It was a—it was a bit of a change in schedule! What was that?

Fan: Nei—yeah—neither was I. I mean, look, I-I always love to see you Paper, um...

Paper: Hehe!

Fan: I'll be g—I'll be—

Paper: We're besties! Paper pals!

Fan: Yeah! No we are paper pals. I—I mean I'll be completely frank with you... all of my questions I prepared were for OJ, so...

Paper: Oh!

Fan: Um... I don't know if you'll be able to answer any—like cause like I mean look at the—alright like first card here that I have is like—what, you see, like what's it like running a hotel—see, like that doesn't apply to you at all, like cause you're just a guest here at Hotel OJ, you don't have any responsibilities, so we could just—we could just crumple that up—

Paper: Wha—uh—about that, I mean I d—I…

Fan: Oh!

Paper: I do do quite a… bit for Hotel OJ.

Fan: Oh really?

Paper: I mean like, whenever OJ's over to—over to the left, some fire's gotta be put out on the right, you know what I mean?

Fan: Okay… I didn't realize that you were invol—so what's like—what's your ro—do you have like an official title? Here? In the hotel?

Paper: Um… well, well no, well, my title is…

Fan: Oh!

Paper: Paper! You know? Um…

Fan: Well, Paper—yeah well, that's your name! But like do you have like a… you know, a position, a role?

Paper: Well…

Fan: A job?

Paper: OJ's… in charge, and…

Fan: Right.

Paper: I-I don't really have a title? Because, you know, in *theory,* I'm supposed to just be, a guest who gets all the accommodations and, you know, same as everyone else without having to do the *work* for it…

Fan: Right. Yeah.

Paper: But. You know. I also have to… you know. Clean up everything, and, and, and, you know, I'll—I'll cook some meals, and do the dishes, and… and organize all the… the reconstruction and, whenever we had the Hotel OJ casino, you know, when we were doing that big project that we loved and did for… many, many, many months… um… tsk, you know, I-I was running things there, and…

Fan: Wow…

Paper: You know, construction…

Fan: The hotel casino, I lost a lot of money on that…

Paper: And… planting some flowers… and… you know, I-I mean, I kinda do… everything around here!

Fan: Now I wanna—

Paper: [noise]

Fan: Yeah… okay… I wanna return to one thing that you sai—ah—my… I perked up when you said this, cause you said you *have* to do these things. What do you mean have to—like who's making you do these things? How did this start?

Paper: Um, I suppose, “have to” is, you know… not the exact perfect wording for it.

Fan: Okay…

Paper: But um… you know…

Fan: NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO CHANGE THE WORDING!

Paper: Wha—uh… I saw that OJ needed, you know, just a little bit of help once, you know, and, um… Yinyang was like… causing a big scene, and—and throwing things around… and then I just—

Fan: And OJ came to you? He came to you to—for help? Or did you approach OJ?

Paper: Well kinda—kinda not, I just, I stepped in—

Fan: You approached him.

Paper: I-I did the job, I-I got things figured out, sorted through, made everyone feel all comfortable, and then OJ said: You did really good with that. You should do that maybe a… a little bit more often! And I'm like, oh, i-if you, if you think I did a really good job, I-I guess I could… I could do it some more, and… you know that you kinda tumble on into these kinds of things!

Fan: Kay, I need you to hold that thought Paper, because look, there has been a—a COSMIC shift in the poll. Knife is now leading f—oh sorry. Oh wait, no, oh, oh we're going back and forth!

Paper: What's going on?

Fan: Knife is leading fifty-one to forty-nine and then it went to fifty fifty AND THEN IT WENT BACK! Knife fifty-one forty-nine AND NOW IT'S BACK! Fifty fifty—oh my goodness, Paper—OH MY GOODNESS, WAIT, KNIFE FIFTY-ONE FORTY—OH AND IT'S BACK TO FIFTY FIFTY—OH WAIT IT'S FIFTY-ONE FORTY-NINE—I'M NOT EVEN JOKING FOLKS! I-I'm taking so many screenshots, but I can't keep up, I can't keep up folks, it's—it's gonna… I'm gonna be logging all of these, I'm gonna have a whole scrapbook. Oh my gosh. Oh that—wait that's right, oh hold on, you're still here.

Paper: This is a once in a lifetime event! Assuming, you know. There's only… one… event.

Fan: Right.

Paper: But here, at the, Hotel OJ party! Hop hop hop! We are, hopping ready for a big exciting finale! So, it seems, that uh, there's a, fifty percent chance, that the person who wins, is going to get YOU all hopping excited!

Fan: Now—you're—you're really keying in on this hop thing, I-I have to ask, like—

Paper: Yeah!

Fan: Is it like—

Paper: Oh I love it.

Fan: It's the Hotel OJ party, so like, I mean the acronym would be like… H-O-J-P, like—ho—ho—hojp?

Paper: Wha—the name is OJ, so… I-I—

Fan: Well it's Orange Juice, so it'd be HOJP, not HOP.

Paper: [incomprehensible]—of the name, like, I don't, you know, ho… hotel, I don't do HT for that, I—

Fan: But there's no space. Orange Juice has a nice space, it's two words. So I think it's HOJP.

Paper: There's a space?!

Fan: No question. Yeah! In Orange Juice, are you kidding me?!

Paper: W-Well he goes by OJ!

Fan: Alright, I-I know that came off rude—

Paper: What—you type out the letters O, J, you put a space in the between them?!

Fan: No—okay, no—n-n-now, now, now, now you're—you're mixing it up. No, OJ in and of itself—

Paper: I'm mixing it up? You're getting so confused, you think you know OJ better than *I* know OJ?!

Fan: I did not say that, Paper. I did not—okay, I've clearly touched a nerve here. Listen. When you do an acronym, you put all of the letters together, no spaces. But when you actually *say* what the acronym is, out loud, then the spaces come into play! You see? So—

Paper: You don't—

Fan: —it would be—

Paper: But—Y-You don't type the letters—

Fan: HOJP!

Paper: —as you say them!

Fan: IT'S HOJP! PAPER! IT'S HOJP! IT'S HOJP! It's HOJP. I'm sorry.

Paper: HOJP? What?

Fan: I'm sorry, Paper. It's HOJP. Alright, you know what? Enough of this poll. I'm gonna end this poll.

Paper: B-b-but it doesn't—it doesn't roll off the tongue! Like, wha…

Fan: Well, that's exactly my point!

Paper: What?

Fan: Why would you have done that? Why would you have done that.

Paper: HOP! HOP is fun! HOP is fun!

Fan: Alright—I'm gonna—you know what? I—before I-I-I'm going to set up a new poll. To see what people—what people say about this. But I also just wanna, like, anecdotally ask the chat: what—is it—is it HOP or HOJP? When you're—when you're talking about the Hotel *OJ* party? Hotel Orange Juice party.

Paper: I think—I-I think you're trying to sway people in one sort of direction!

Fan: I'm not swaying, I'm just saying what it—how—what is it called? What is the party called?

Paper: The… Hotel, OJ! Party…

Fan: And what does OJ—st—oh—wait, OJ—wait! Wait! OJ in and of itself is an acronym, so go on, say what OJ stands for.

Paper: But—we're not saying Orange Juice, are we?! Are we saying Orange Juice right now?! Or are we saying, OJ?!

Fan: Alright, a lot—

Paper: Come on!

Fan: A lot—a lot of the chat is saying HOP, I'm just gonna let you have this one.

Paper: Hahaha, that's a hopping win for us! Hahaha! Well, c-come on, you wouldn't wanna be at the HOJP party!

Fan: No, I wouldn't.

Paper: They—this kinda just works out for everyone!

Fan: Alright, whatever, okay. Ugh… Alright, well—

Paper: Okay, let's just, let's take a break, and—hehe—usually I like to, sort things out, and, make things all calm and chill, but uh… heh, you know, I understand that I caused quite the ruckus today, so let's—[inhale]—ahmumumumum.

Fan: Okay, so—

Paper: C-Can you make that noise?

Fan: No. So, Paper, uh, I want to know. Who do you think should win the second season of Inanimate Insanity? Uh, I know obviously you have some history with Knife, and you kinda have none with Suitcase. So, go ahead!

Paper: Wha—well—uh, y-you beat me to it, Fan! I mean—

Fan: Yeah!

Paper: —here's the issue, right?

Fan: Yeah.

Paper: I don't know a thing about Suitcase! I mean I-I-I didn't compete with her, I-I suppose when—when some people come back to the hotel who have a history with her, they're like: yeah! She’s… pretty nice! And I'm like, oh I like when people are nice that's pretty cool. Um… so, you would think that, you know, kinda just makes sense that by default, since we have, you know, history and all, you know, we—we've… had a lot of time together and such—just makes sense, go for Knife!

Fan: Wow, I'm—

Paper: BUT HE'S A JERK!

Fan: I… I feel like I'm getting some mixed messages from you right now, Paper. Because like you… really have a lot of issues with Knife, but you—you actually would be rooting for Knife!

Paper: Oh no, absolutely not. I'm saying despite the fact, that I don't know a *thing* about Suitcase, of course I'm gonna root for her! Cause, Knife is—

Fan: I'm sorry, I'm only half paying attention, sorry. Continue.

Paper: I appreciate you anyway. Knife is mean, Knife is a bully, why—why would anyone WANT to root for him!? Yeah, oh maybe he beat—did a few challenges well, or whatever, but—Knife will RIP ME APART given the chance! I don't get it! But, you know, maybe I don't need to get it, because, fifty percent of the chat thinks it's, just okay to root for the guy!

Fan: Does that—does that bother you?

Paper: Mn… a little bit, but, you know… I don't wanna tell people what to do.

Fan: No, go ahead.

Paper: You're a fan of him, you know… [at the audience]

Fan: It's not bad, tell them.

Paper: I just know who to… not ever interact with!

Fan: Go ahead and tell them how you feel. I mean, that's why you're here. Share your opinion.

Paper: What? I don't… In front of all eight people listening?

Fan: Yeah—well… there's more than eight. That's a little insulting. You think I can't get a crowd more than eight?

Paper: More than eight? How many more than eight are there?

Fan: Let's… not say, for your own sake.

Paper: Okay… okay, just have to, say this as though there's ten people here and be, be prepared for such a big—

Fan: That's gonna be hard cause it's over eight thousand—sorry! Just slipped out.

Paper: WHAT!? AAH!!!

Fan: Slipped out! Slipped out.

Paper: Um…

Fan: Slipped out, slipped out, slipped out! Sorry.

Paper: Uh… well, for the four thousand who rooted, you know, voted for Knife, just know that you are, supporting a… do I say this word?

Fan: Uh, I don't…

Paper: Is it okay, am I allowed to say this on stream?

Fan: I don't know what word you're going to say!

Paper: It's the P-word!

Fan: What? I don't know what word you're—whisper it in my ear.

Paper: Pbtpbtpbtpbtpbtpbtpbt.

Fan: You just made some nonsense sounds right now, can you actually whisper the word in my ear, please.

Paper: There was a little faith, that you would hear it.

Fan: JUST SAY THE WORD, JUST SAY IT!

Paper: BULLY!!!

Fan: What?

Paper: He's a bully!

Fan: I thought you said P-word. Bully starts with a B.

Paper: B-word. B-word!

Fan: Oh. I thought you said P-word. I was like—

Paper: No, no, P would be like a, puh! You, know like a—puh!

Fan: Ugh. This has been very educational, Paper, I have to say.

Paper: I appreciate it!

Fan: Yeah! Um… Yeah! No I mean�� I-I-I enjoy the fact that you have your opinions, and I certainly have mine, and you know, we don't have to agree, on everything, just what's important.

Paper: Oh, so you *do* have an opinion? On who should win?

Fan: Well, it's not my place to say! This—I'm the moderator of the event so it would insult the—

Paper: Exactly, so it's—it's very specifically *your* place!

Fan: —would insult the integrity of the, uh, livestream, if I were to share my opinion, I established this upfront, you know. I think it makes sense to me. This is my own internal logic and it's my show so, if that is the call that I made, then I don't think that I should have to disclose any opinion, one way or another. I think that's fair.

Paper: Fine. Then I don't very much care either!

Fan: Oh you don't care to hear my opinion? Well that much I knew.

Paper: Ah, wa—I-I-I-I didn't mean it, I just… I just kinda, you know, tried to be… a funny person, who… goes with the bit! I mean…

Fan: Yeah, yeah… Go with the bit, alright… Yeah, you really go with the bit, Paper. You know what? Yeah. Just go with the bit! Yeah, I-I'll go with the bit too. Yeah—th-this has really, this has been such a—such a *great* time. Talking to each other. I think. Yeah, I really enjoyed it—

Paper: Well, I think so too!

Fan: —everyone's been waiting for a long time, for like, the FFF Paper interview, you know, there was a lot of—there was a lot of controversy about this and I—

Paper: And why didn't it happen, huh?

Fan: I—look, I wanted to do it! Salt and Pepper encroached upon my territory, you saw! I was happy to have it happen! I invited you for a reason! We were sharing a laugh—

Paper: And then we had it scheduled, a Paper interview, and then you just—you just sail on off to some concert!

Fan: Hey, hey, hey, hey, we're not gonna talk about that right now. We're not gonna talk about that right now. Okay?

Paper: Hmph.

Fan: We're not gonna talk about that right now. Please. Paper. Come on. This is not—that's not—that's not what this night is about. This night is about, we are a-approaching the end, of Inanimate Insanity 2. You understand that? You understand how big of a deal that is? Do you know how long everyone has been waiting? For this resolution? This is huge, this is massive! Okay? It's not about you, or me…

Paper: It's been—it's been going around, uh… almost as long as I've… lived in this hotel! You know, so I suppose that makes sense!

Fan: Yeah! Yeah no, it is a very, look, it is a very—

Paper: It's like our entire lives by this point!

Fan: It is a very, very big deal. Um… so, yeah, and I-I-I for one am excited to see how it all turns out—I'm sorry, everyone else who's watching is also very much interested to see. Uh, how it'll—how it'll play out too! And I hope, you know, I hope we all are satisfied, you know, it's hard, sometimes, like cause you can't—can't always a-a-a-appeal to everyone, but. You know, it's definitely… it… Yeah. It's been great, finally having this interview with you Paper—I am—I *am* sorry that it took this long, I think I had very understandable reasons that were outside of my control! For why I took this long. But. You know. It's… yeah, it's uh… it—it is what it is. Okay? Do you accept that? Can you accept that? Or no.

Paper: Mm. I do, Fan. I do.

Fan: Okay. Okay, that's all I'm asking. That—that is all I'm asking. And uh… by the way the chat—the chat is—

Paper: [incomprehensible]

Fan: What's that?

Paper: Are we—are we still gonna be paper puppet pals going forward?

Fan: We will be, I-I just wanted to let you know that the chat is saying, like, it—it's HOJP in their heart. So, I think they're trying to turn—

Paper: You said they were saying HOP before! What changed?!

Fan: Well, they—look, I'm seeing, I-I'm trying to pull up an example, i-it won't let me—I'm trying to scroll up, but it won't let me pick it! Jay, I see you in the chat, Jay, I'm trying to click your comment! Wait, no, it—it zoomed away! Hold on I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it! You watch, hold on. I have evidence. I have evidence. I have evidence. I will show you.

Paper: Well. You know what? If we can't, you know, figure out all this with the audience that sounds like it's, more than ten people, I mean… we do have a whole bunch of other people, you know, out back, who could give their opinions.

Fan: Well, I-I mean, Paper, I scheduled them all—they only had time to speak individually, I-I don't think that we're gonna be able to get them all again. You know, running a show like this, it's—it's—it's very difficult, it takes a lot of coordination, I know you call that talent, coordination. But—oh wait oh they're all back there. Oh they're all back there. Oh.

Paper: Oh hey guys?

Fan: Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, wait. They wanna all c—oh wait, wait, wait, hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna—wait—I'm gonna invite them all—eh yeah! Everyone! Yeah! Come back! Come back! Come back!

#osc #inanimate insanity #ii paper #ii fan #paper ii #fan ii #juice.txt #id put this on the wiki but idk where id even make a page for it #go to 1:04:50 on the stream for a cute noise at the start of paper's line there #tried to make it accurate but not too hellish to read

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