#5 websites and i finally found one that worked Tumblr posts

[fluffypotatey]

watching Leverage: episode 2

ok i made myself some pb&js and i am off to ep 2

spoilers, duh

thoughts before i watch:

i feel so conflicted about sophie/nathan and not in the way you think

i feel conflicted as in i don't know if i want to know all the details of their history together

like i love just the added layer that says "these two knew each other and had something in the past but have drifted apart for reasons"

so it's a "tell me!" but also "don't tell me! let them be mysterious about it!"

so will the next episode kick off from the last one? or will it be like a little time skip and some cons later kind of thing?

i'm fine with either because with the time skip, it helps alleviate the stress of building new character dynamics in a way. like, they're still new and some character will clash at first, but it's lessened a little (or not and that will be one of the major conflicts in the episode).

but i also like seeing how they work immediately after, seeing the awkward kind of team up and such. do they hang out after a con? do they live together or is that just the base of operations?

but enough of me talking about that. let's get into it!

le thoughts while i watch:

ok apparently the site i was using crashed so i spent....too long (for my patience) finding another BUT I DID IT

got worried for a second because the first scene was not with our gang and thought i accidentally clicked on an army show

rip the soldiers you seemed like fine dudes, you probably would have joined a frat

right off the bat we have deaths. like i know i said i'd wait but this is episode 2! AND it came out of nowhere!!!!

ooooh we talking about veteran insurance??? and how the govt just sort of drops them if they're disabled???....yeah, this is gonna be heavy

"i'm sorry [talking about how the guy's finacee left him after the incident]" "i'm not mad, it happens" when i tell you my heart BROKE. no! no it shouldn't!!!

also the site..... is buffering on me..... and i WILL commit crimes if i cannot watch this episode

i am glad the doctor is looking after the dude tho, but she's upset that she has to let him down and my HEART

"you know this is a soap commercial right?" god, i love you sophie, make that soap commercial a soap opera

"peggy killed her first husbanD" I LOVE HER

they made their own office goddam

ok so did they just, not talk after the first gig? did they go their separate ways and just hope that one day they'd do another heist again? it seems like nathan and alec kept in touch but what about everyone else????

elliot i want to know your life

how can one know a type pf gun from the sound of its gunshot???

wow, they really just exPOSED lobbyist corruption with the government huh....damn

oh i wanna punch that congressman

so many things happening what is going on???

holy shit whyyyyy were they shooting army men??? they were gonna kill perry in cold blood. puppy eyes perry??? perry who was practicing physical therapy after hours be himself T^T because he knows his days in that hospital is limited???

parker is so cute, sure she's probably committed arson, but that means nothing

alec is the best, i love him, he's my boy

"yeah i hack the camera just give a minute or two--" *elliot just throws a rock* "...or steal my thunder why don't you"

no matter who's together, the ot3's chemistry is *chef's kiss*

parker was just WAITING for an excuse to blow up that door akdjsd i love her AND ALEC'S EXPRESSION I LOVE

ALEC MY BOY

"this is racial isn't it?" i cackled so hard.

man that congressman switched up so fast lmao then got caught

nathan bought a tesla.....i am so sorry all i can think of it present news lmao

it is nice to have a heist show where like....nothing goes wrong

everything that they planned for happens and if there are things that go left, they have a backup for it that they use and it's so.... n i c e and refreshing to watch a show like that

general thoughts:

like, i knew there would be episodes that criticize corporations and there'd be discussion of government corruption but....episode two???? they really aren't pulling any punches

also how they show the struggle a lot of disabled veterans go through because they don't have a funded safety net. like the doctor for perry really wants to help, and you can see that when she lectures nathan about trying to scam perry (he wasn't but from the outside, it's not hard to understand why she thought that). it hurts her to have to try and help these people who just want to get better, but have such limiting resources to the point that she has to turn them away after a couple months.

nathan is very much still a firm believer that this gang of crooks can become a gang of good crooks. and this is really sweet. you can see that they gang still helps him with the heist even if they can't believe that they are good people. but i like the ending for this because they're acknowledging that yeah, it felt great to help return the money to the people who needed it, and maybe they'd like to do this again.

moral of the story: corporations get fucked and i am enjoying it

remember kids, cleaning blood money works better with cold water, not shooting witnesses. that just adds to the dirt.

[atrologynuances]

Astrology observations pt2 || Planets in their detriment

NOTE: the interpretation of these are solely on the planets. harmonious/inharmonious aspects can change the translation of these planets.

these are based on personal observations as well as acquired knowledge from books, websites, and other observation posts.

𓋼𓍊 Aries/Scorpio Venus- may struggle maintaining a harmonious relationship which can lead to them changing their relationships quite often. aries venuses might posses an either fiery or more grounded energy thanks to the cardinal energy. scorpios on the other hand might be emotionally reserved, and only truly love very few people around them if any, the rest they keep around depending on what they can access from them (very manipulative). Given their possible relationship insecurities these two venus signs will seek for someone going at the same pace and someone with the same mindset, which realistically is hard to find. when they do think they’ve found it, they might later find out they were in fact wrong. When they do get in a relationship they might become possessive as a result of possible insecurities.

𓋼𓍊 Taurus/Libra Mars- these natives might need extreme motivation to get things going, like a 9-5 they don’t like, but the security and responsibility of it keeps them on their toes. these mars signs could also lack sense of security in their actions, which could leave them wondering whether they were right or wrong and as a result they might not fight for themselves as hard as they should. it is important for them to have a big support system that reassures and validates their actions when conflicts arise.

𓋼𓍊 Gemini/Virgo Jupiter- these natives have a hard time seeing beyond logic explanation, they could experience something and until they don’t find logic behind it they won’t be satisfied. get fixated on many things but never seems to finish or find a final answer to any of them. is not that they’re unable to finish them, they’re just no longer interested to. closed minded towards otherworldly subjects, or tries very hard to understand it.

𓋼𓍊 Cancer/Leo Saturn- these natives lack discipline but want it. they might vent to you that they do not like their current monetary situation and are looking to make some changes in that aspect of their life, but the next day you see them spending all their money on clothes. they know this is wrong but will still do it. they may be prone to control people and situations because they think they know what’s best for everyone. however, they do not like people telling them what to do lol. they might be prone to burnouts easily and immune system problems.

𓋼𓍊 Sagittarius/Pisces Mercury- struggles to find something that feels “right” for them, when they do find it they mostly have to work harder than everybody else to catch up. problems with communication; either started talking late or have problems expressing themselves as they get older. prone to saying things that don’t make sense upfront which will make them have to explain themselves often. this might create insecurities that will lead them to express themselves less. this is the reason why I think so many great writers have these placements, they can just erase and reword their writing without being judged for it.

- fyodor dostoevsky, jane austen, james joyce, victor hugo, emily dickinson

𓋼𓍊 Capricorn Moon- find it difficult to be vulnerable, this translates to needing or wanting material security to make sure they won’t need anyone. do not like to rely on anyone for emotional/financial support even if they really need it. despite all this, they are very emotional. the difference between them and their sister sign cancer is that they are not expressive with their emotions or act on them. something I have noticed is that they are not as workaholics as people might expect them to be, however when they work, they splurge on the money they make or might be stingy with it, as either one of these actions brings security to them. most of the times they don’t feel loved by either one of their parents even if they’ve both always been present in their lives.

𓋼𓍊 Aquarius Sun- natives are hard to describe for me because I have not met many of them, I feel like most hideaway at home lol. one thing i’ve noticed is that they cry a lot and are unapologetic about it. these people shine bright like their sister sign leo, the difference is they don’t want to so they avoid situations where they have to or when they are put in these situations they have to make sure their presentation is flawless. however in day to day life they do not really care how they’re perceived. they’re the ones that go to school in pijama pants. they also oftentimes seek some form of validation with other people, which is why they change partners often. very physically beautiful, but doesn’t seem to know or act on it.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope y’all have a wonderful day.

guide

[fyodior]

FUCK YOU, FUCK ME!

pairing: toji fushiguro x gn!reader (no anatomy described)

cw: pegging toji !!!! reader uses a strap, toji is hesitant but goes along with it and ends up LOVING it. anal (m!receiving), missionary and doggy, minor orgasm control, etc. kind of glorified anal so keep that in mind. MINORS DONT INTERACT ILL BITE

notes: this is a sponsored fic for @ficsforgaza, and im so so excited to finally be posting it!! (other wips available for sponsor here) go check out some other great creators on the blog too!! and this is my first time back writing in a bit so pls be kind :") divider by @/cafekitsune!

wc: 2.8k

“Toji, sweetheart, you need to relax.”

“Fuck- I’m fuckin’ trying,” your lover grunts, wincing and sucking in a sharp breath. “I’m not fuckin’ used to things inside’a me like you are.” You choose to ignore that last quip. 

Only half a very well lubed finger deep into his tight ass, you figure this is going to be a long night, but you know it’ll be so, so, worth it - for both you and him. 

The day you first proposed trying anal to Toji, he was all for it - excited even. Until he found out that you meant he’d be the one receiving, and his face immediately fell. 

“No. Nope. Nothin’s goin’ up my shitter,” he had responded, making you roll your eyes and groan. You swore up and down that a prostate orgasm could be life changing for males, but he flat out refused for months. It wasn’t until your birthday when you promised him he didn’t have to buy you a gift if he agreed to try anal just once - and then he was all for it. 

He was hesitant as the two of you scrolled through sex toy websites to search for the best possible strap and dildo for him. Pointing out ones you thought he might like only made his face contort in discomfort, haunted by the thought of something going inside his asshole. The list of “hard no’s” grew and grew the longer you searched: nothing longer than 6 inches, nothing girthier than a circumference of 5 inches, no skin colors because that felt too real, and no balls. Toji Fushiguro was a hard man to please. 

Finally, finally, after months of convincing, hours of online shopping, and a few more days following the arrival of the package, did you have your lover laid out in front of you, legs spread and hole awaiting. It was the sweetest fucking sight in the world, and you were so grateful you maintained enough patience to get to this moment. Good things really do come to those who wait.

The harness was already strapped around your waist, painfully eager to attach the dildo and get to it, but of course there was ample prep required, especially for someone completely new to anal. Per your request, he had showered prior to you getting home from work and had tried to clean himself out a little bit, which you were very grateful for. Now you were tasked with stretching and prepping his hole. Your mouth watered at the thought of it. 

Instructing him to lay on his back, for no other reason than you wanted to see his face, you press his thick, sinewy thighs apart and settle between them. You had done your best to create a gentle, relaxing environment in your shared bedroom, with the lights dimmed low, a few candles flickering on the shelf, and soft music playing from the TV. Yet still, the man was as tense as a clenched fist. 

The goal was to get him a little worked up and wanting it, so you start with a little foreplay. Kissing him softly, you jerk him off slowly, getting him hard enough that he wants to cum. His hard cock lays neglected on his belly as he rests on his back, propped up against a horde of pillows, and you could honestly cum just at the sight of him. Toji is fucking beautiful.

But now it was finally time. After dousing your fingers in a thick, goopy layer of lube, you press the tip of your ring finger against his puckered hole, and he immediately flinches.

“Baby, I promise I won’t make this hurt, you have to breathe, though,” you plead, using your other hand to massage his thigh. “Here - take a deep breath with me.” 

Motioning for him to follow, you suck in air, watching him closely. After rolling his eyes and deciding he’ll finally play along, he mimics you. The second he releases the breath he was holding, his body deflating, you take the chance and slip in your finger down to just the first knuckle.

He immediately gasps, furrowing his brows and grunting. “Hey! You fuckin’ tricked me!” he accuses, indignant as a little kid. 

You chuckle in response. “It got it in, didn’t it?”

You stay like that for a bit, wriggling the tip of your finger purely just to start getting him used to the feeling of something inside him, watching his expressions closely.

“Does it feel good at all, babe?” 

It takes Toji a moment to respond, clearly chewing on the idea in his brain. “It… it’s weird,” he finally says, pursing his lips. “It just feels strange - not… bad, though. Yet.” 

“Good,” you nod. “Good. Just hang in there, and you’ll feel good soon, okay? Promise.”

He just grumbles before gripping his cock, fisting it a few times before you smack his hand away. 

“Hey!” he gasps, jaw wide open. “It’s my dick!”

“No. I said no touching yourself yet,” you bite back. When he looks like he’s about to pitch a fit, you decide to throw in a “please, baby? For me?” and he backs down. Toji is nothing if not a sucker for you.

After warning him, you push your finger in to the second knuckle. He sucks in a sharp breath, but makes no protest - a good sign. Soon, you have your whole finger inside him, and he’s panting a bit.

“See, baby? I knew you could take it,” you smile softly. 

“Whatever,” Toji grumbles, avoiding your gaze. He can deny it all he wants, but he can’t hide the fact that his dick twitched every time you pushed your finger in a little further. “Let’s hurry this up and get it over with.”

Your eyes go wide at that, but you nod. “Your wish is my command, sir,” you smirk.

And just like that, your whole pointer finger has bullied its way inside him. 

“Fuck!” Toji coughs, lurching forward. “You can’t do that!”

“Oh, but I can,” you grin impishly. “Just lay back and let me work you open, okay?”

Now that you have two fingers inside him, you can actually make some headway. Squirting some more lube around his entrance, you start to very slowly fuck him with your fingers, pumping them in and out at a snail’s pace. Toji stays silent, still refusing to meet your gaze, but his cheeks are cherry red and he’s gripping the sheets with a tight fist. 

The quiet music coming from the TV hums softly in the background, and you hope it’s relaxing him at least a little as you slowly spread your fingers apart, trying to scissor them open to loosen the muscles and stretch him out. Toji’s breath hitches when you spread them even past when his hole starts to resist, and you smirk. You guess he likes the feeling of being full just as much as you do. 

Time passes painfully slowly while you work him open with your fingers, aching to finally get inside him. To finally fuck Toji in the way he deserves. Finally, you feel like he’s prepped enough to adequately take the strap. It might hurt a tiny bit, but what’s the harm in that?

“Okay, sweetheart,” you start as you fit the jet black dildo into the O-ring connected to the strap. “You okay on your back like this, or do you wanna take it from the back?”

His face burns bright red at the thought of you fucking him in doggy, so he just shakes his head. “ ‘m fine like this,” he mumbles, and you nod.

Once again settling between his thighs, you wrap a hand around his cock and pump it lazily, offering him a small smile.

“You look so pretty laid out like this for me, legs spread and ass spread so wide, ready to take my cock,” you muse, mind in overdrive.

“S-st-stop,” Toji squeaks out, biting his fist. He won’t admit it, he can’t admit it, he’ll die before admitting how much that turns him on. He can’t admit how his ass has started to ache for something to fill it back up again, even though you’re more than willing to oblige. 

“Can’t, baby boy,” you frown, leaning in for a kiss. “Not when I finally have you like this.” 

The brief kisses seem to relax the tense man just a bit, melting against your lips and kissing back hungrily. You could’ve sworn you caught a just fuck me already under his breath, but he’ll refuse it until his deathbed. 

When you make eye contact with him and he nods, you press the well-lubed tip of the strap against his hole, watching with stars in your eyes as it resists, but still tries to spread open. A cough can be heard from near the headboard, but no protests so far. Soft whines fight to escape Toji’s throat as you push in each centimeter of the silicone cock, face burning hot and red. About halfway in, you pause, giving the man a moment to breathe and acclimatize to the intrusion inside him. He’s grateful for it too, huffing and groaning and squirming as he tries to find a more comfortable position, but there is none. Not when there’s something hard shoved up his ass. You just stay as patient as a saint, massaging his muscly thighs and running your hands up his torso, trying your best not to lean too far forward and inch any more of the cock inside him. As a treat, you give his throbbing, aching cock a few tugs with your spit coated palm, and he lets out a sigh. 

One more moment of eye contact, and more nod, and you push your hips a little farther forward. Suddenly, Toji lurches forward again.

“Gah!!” he cries out, eyes wide and heaving. “What- what was that? What did you do?” The accusatory questions only make you laugh, leaning in to kiss him sweetly. 

“Must be your sweet spot - your prostate,” you chuckle. “Here - let’s try again.” 

Pulling out a few inches and thrusting in again has Toji sputtering and groaning all over again. You can’t help but break out into a wild smirk. This is exactly what you wanted. Not only for yourself, as a perfect view to marvel at and take in, but for him - Toji deserves this, deserves to feel good. 

Leaning forward, hands braced on either side of his chest, you muster up all your strength and thrust hard. This time his head is falling back against the pillow as he cries out with a call of your name, too.

“It’s all the way inside, sweetheart,” you smile, marveling at how the silicone balls are pressed firm against his ass. “How do you feel?”

“G-good,” he nods, gulping. “Just- let’s just do this- please,” Toji chokes out.

This version of Toji, one so vulnerable and desperate, is one you’ve never seen before. Not even when he’s fucking you - he’ll get desperate to get his dick wet, sure, but this is… different. Sweeter. His dark, unruly hair is matted to his forehead with sweat, and his chest is heaving in anticipation. You simply have no choice than to give him exactly what he wants.

Inching your strap out to where the tip is almost dangling out of his hole, you thrust all the way back in, relishing in the way he once again moans. His reaction is so much sweeter than you could’ve imagined, and you simply can’t help the way you go fucking crazy. Your thrusts pick up speed, anchoring yourself by gripping the sheets hard as you erratically fuck your lover’s ass. The both of you are complete messes, groaning and whining and gasping almost theatrically, chasing a beautiful high. 

“Harder,” Toji grunts, pulling you in by your cheeks for a messy kiss as his thick legs circle your waist. “Fuck! Fe-feels so fucking good, fuck, fuck fuck…” he blabbers, your face still in his tight grip. You couldn’t give less of a shit, just want to see him falling apart even more, so you give him exactly what he asks for.

Wet sounds of lube and skin on skin echo throughout the bedroom, mixed with the tunes of both your moaning and groaning. An ache is blossoming in your thigh muscles and you can feel yourself losing stamina but you refuse to give in just yet, using every ounce of your strength to piston your hips in and out of him. Toji can’t help but clench tight around your cock, you can feel it by the increased resistance, and you truly think you must have died and gone to heaven. 

“Toji, sweetheart,” you call, trying to grab the man’s attention. “Get on your hands and knees for me, okay?”

For the first time likely ever, the man does as he’s asked with no protest. He hisses a bit as you slip all the way out of his tight heat, but scrambles to flip over and present his ass for you. There’s no way this is your Toji, not when he’s acting like this - but you decide you’ll allow yourself to indulge in this doppelganger, just for tonight. 

Some adjustments to his stance are required, as he is taller than you, but you soon find a comfortable position so that your hips can be flush against his ass. His throbbing cock and balls hang heavy at this angle, dangling between his thighs, but he doesn’t seem to mind. At this angle, you have a much better view of his beautiful ass, using two hands to spread his cheeks apart and stare with a slack jaw at his abused hole, puffy and throbbing. It’s mind boggling that you were inside him. And will be again. With one languid thrust, you’re bottoming out again and pressing his face into the pillow, making him cry out. 

This angle, while depriving you of your lover’s beautiful face, is much easier for your task. Having his ass presented for you like this makes fucking him a breeze - so you take, and take, and take, and take. Pump in and out of his tight, wet hole, both of your bodies trembling as you’re overcome with so much emotion and overstimulation. You feel like a bitch in heat with the way you’re rutting into him, bottoming out with almost every thrust. 

“Fuck,” Toji spits. “I’m gonna fucking cum.” 

Your eyes go wide at the realization. He’s going to cum? Just from getting fucked? Holy shit.

“Yeah, baby? Wanna cum? Feels so good getting fucked, huh?” you tease, continuing to fuck him hard and deep. “Want me to help you out, or so how long it takes for you to cum just from getting your ass fucked? Hm?” Your own words are lost on you, seemingly coming from a place of pure lust and not from your rational mind.

“Please help,” Toji chokes out. And he’s been so good, not touching his cock this entire time, taking your cock so well, that you decide to do as he asks. 

Your pace slows down some as you wrap a hand around his aching, angry red cock, thumbing at the tip and using his tacky precum to lube up your hand some. It only takes one, two, three strokes before he’s gasping and spurting thick, hot ropes of cum onto the bed, whole body tensing as he cries out louder than you’ve ever heard before. He collapses onto the bed, and you take the message, pulling your strap out from his abused hole. No words come from his mouth, only heaves and gasps for air as he tries to come to terms with what just occurred. You don’t nag him at all, just flop down next to him and push his sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes.

“Did that feel good, baby? Hm?” you ask, smiling softly at him. That’s truly all you ever wanted. You truly couldn’t give much of a shit about your own desires and lust - all you ever, ever wanted in this world was for your lover to feel good. 

Toji gulps. “....Yeah. Felt real good.” It’s obvious he’s exhausted, only moments from passing out. You can’t blame him.

“Did so, so good for me, sweetheart,” you coo, leaning in to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Now get some rest. It’s hard getting fucked, isn’t it?” That makes him chuckle weakly.

“Fuck you,” he rasps, but he has a lopsided smile on his face. “Love you. Really. Thank you.”

Your heart soars and you smile widely. “Of course, sweetheart. Always. I love you. Now please get some rest so we can go for a second round.”

[salt-and-shade]

BARBENHEIMER - July 21, 2023

The most ambitious crossover event in history (artists cited under the cut!)

I hyperlinked the original posts to the artist handle wherever possible so go show the artists some love!! ROW 1: @JohnBeLucky on Reddit @anglespizza on Twitter (they made this for a class-iconic) @whovianrad on Twitter @shadowknightdk on Twitter @BossLogic on Twitter ROW 2: @rahalarts on Instagram @justralphy on Instagram @GrungiestBunny on Instagram, available as a poster here @envelopandkissme on Tumblr (I think? idk this one was hard to find) @shirtsthtgohard on Twitter, available for purchase here ROW 3: @omarg294 on Twitter (possibly not the original source) @raichu.copper on Instagram/@raichucopper on Twitter @galactic_psychedelia Instagram, available on Redbubble here @thesenatortheatre on Instagram (possibly not the original source) @nannymcghee on Tik Tok

ROW 4: Retro Travel Design on Redbubble @rahalarts on Instagram @stevereevesart on Instagram @jonattfieldart on Instagram @gringgieespons on Tik Tok

ROW 5: @BossLogic on Instagram/@BossLogic on Twitter @rahalarts on Instagram @nolanlounds Tik Tok @seanlongmore Instagram @Cornettogod on Twitter

ROW 6: @readfulthings on Instagram (aka Adam Perocchi) I cannot find this artist but you can buy the shirt here and here @moviemantis on Instagram (possibly not the original source, idk) Jason P on LinkedIn (ok career barbie!!) and finally, you can buy the shirt here

huge love to all the incredibly talented artists that put their work on the internet for free for all of us to look at, we love you!! (please sign/watermark your works though, the amount of art theft I found while looking these up made me sad for you)

anti-shoutouts: to google for nerfing their reverse image search with google lens (seriously-CHANGE IT BACK), to twitter for making it almost impossible to use the website after I deleted my account, and to basically no one on tik tok (or any other social media site for that matter) for crediting artists because that made tracking down the original posts so much harder than it needs to be :')

[merakisphere]

Five years ago I thought it would be a neat idea to try and make my favourite trinket of all time (3D wire mandala). So I found myself some copper wire, beads, a set of pliers and began tinkering. 5 years later, I make these wonderful multi-purpose pieces for lovely people all over the world full-time, and I couldn't be happier.

The ingredients for making a 3D wire mandala:

122.5 inches of electroplated copper wire (gold, silver, black)

14 funky beads (8mm size)

7 pieces of banding wire (22 gauge)

A one step looper and bent-nose pliers

and a lot of patience.. XD The next step in my small shop journey is to transition from selling on Etsy to my own website. Don't get me wrong, Etsy has been amazing for me as someone who wanted to open their own handmade shop but didn't know where to start, however, it is now time for me to spread my wings and (hopefully) fly. fingers crossed

Use code TUMBLR at checkout for a special discount just for discovering my work on here! PLUS checkout using PayPal and receive a FREE Spring Bloom Orbi-Loop with your purchase. (yes, I ship worldwide too!) Finally, don't forget to follow me as I am preparing a full-fledge tutorial (for free) to teach others how to make this on their own! It'lI be such a fun at-home craft project that I hope others will enjoy as much as I do!

PS: Sorry if this isn't blaze worthy. Just had a few extra credits available from Tumblr.

PPS: Style in video is Purple Nova (silver wire/standard size)

[asleepinawell]

Sixth Coil Mechanics

since i'm not getting out of the labyrinth any time soon, i thought i'd try to map out how it all works for funsies and how to get around if you want to find all the areas/text

for the most part you don't need to worry about anything other than how to get out (so you don't get in too deep and have to spend 100 actions to get out oopsies), so this is more for anyone interested in finding all the unique areas and text

Basic Navigation

first off, there are FOUR main areas, one for each of the main stats: persuasive, dangerous, shadowy, watchful

you can tell which area you're in by the check on the top available action. so if it's a dangerous check, you're in the dangerous area. those top actions will never take you to another area and are just the default thing to play if there's nothing else interesting

to get between areas you need to use actions that let you go up or down. they only show up at certain airs of the labyrinth and they'll have words like descend, climb, etc

here is a rough map of how the 4 areas connect to each other:

so, for example, if you choose a descend through a trap door type option in watchful, you will end up in dangerous. it you climb up in watchful you will be in shadowy

persuasive is the odd one out as going either up or down from it will take you back to dangerous

rest below the line

Burdens

each area has one item you can pick up, which goes in your burdens slot

shadowy = clinging shadow

persuasive = velvet countenance

dangerous = heavy iron

watchful = predatory clarity

each burden makes the checks harder but increases the rewards you get when you cash out. see the next section for how to get rid of them

Getting Out

every successful action you take gives you +1 coiling ever deeper (little snek icon)

at any point you may start the process of getting out by using the Resolve to leave this place action at the bottom. A successful attempt at that will give you an attribute called Fleeing The Heart. while you have that attribute every successful action will take -1 coiling ever deeper away. when you get rid of all of it, you can leave

there will also be a new option called Shed your burdens. this lets you get rid of your burdens to get out easier if you're stuck (easier checks, not necessarily faster) at the cost of reducing your final reward

update: originally for every point of coiling ever deeper in you went, you had to use an action to go out one (so 100 coiling ever deeper = 100 successful shrine to get out), but a merciful update has made it so that when you obtain fleeing the heart, coiling ever deep is set to 30

Mirror Actions

There are at least 5 mirror actions and I honestly don't know what they do. They are:

bronze mirror

hard mirror

cracked mirror

gold-framed mirror

black mirror

they have really high glassworks checks (at 15 gw i have a 20% chance)

Memory of Light Actions

these are action that show up sometimes based on airs of the labyrinth. they take you between sub areas within the area you're in, but i'm not 100% clear on how that works. they do give you sightings of a parabolan landmark

Gaping Maw Actions

these only show up when you're going into the labyrinth and not when you're coming out. I think they might randomly move you between attribute areas (but sometimes leave you where you are?)

Examine A Sealed Door

This might be the door to the center of the sixth coil, but you can't get in it right now. it only shows up when airs of the labyrinth is exactly 100. There are 99 different flavor texts that can appear within it (the part in italics only). there's a gdoc collecting them all if you want to help out (this is not mine, found on reddit). I will link it in a reblog comment of this post because tumblr doesn't like links in posts despite that being a feature of this completely functional website

Sub Areas of Each Stat Area

Each area (shadowy, watchful, etc) has a bunch of sub areas in it, designated by the title of the page you're on. Below is the list of ones I've found. I suspect I'm missing some

Shadowy

predator's den

dark clearing

orchid grove

scale tree stand

cycad bend

termite mound

rose thicket

Persuasive

marble corridor

feathered bedchamber

portrait gallery

sculpture garden

reflecting washroom

servant's quarters

overflowing dining room

hedge maze

plush drawing room

carpeted boudoir

Dangerous

muddy trench

crumbling battlement

concrete bunker

field of spears

cramped arsenal

windowless war-room

fortified position

deserted emplacement

cracked foundation

bloody sewer

Watchful

leatherbound study

glim-mosaic library

optical gallery

door storage

circular observatory

tattooed office

ink repository

have fun!

[nordschleifes]

what happens after midnight?

➝ it was just supposed to be ten months of fun and traveling the world. but you didn't count on your heart going against you

➝ word count: 6,5k

➝ warnings: sugar relationships, hospitals, smut

➝ author's note: finally a finished work!

The watch on your wrist indicated that it was 5:30 PM. Pursing your lips, you watched through the screen set up in hospitality as the blue and pink car pulled into the pits for the second time. The momentary confusion that took over the place was replaced by frustration when the engineer's voice sounded across the room.

— Let's retire the car.

The silence that followed could seem melancholic, even given the context. However, you knew that the man inside the car was biting his tongue, holding back all the words that the frustration of yet another race unfinished that season, on that very day, would make him shout over the radio.

“I’m not a kid to whine, Y/N”, you heard him repeat in your mind, the phrase accompanied by the mischievous smile that made your internal organs turn into jelly. You had no idea what it would be like to live without seeing that smile.

Seeing that he was out of the car, you got up from your desk and silently slipped through the halls of the team facility. Something about that lonely walk made your heart sink even more, until you found the door with his name, the white letters against the navy blue background.

Fernando Alonso.

Your paths crossed months ago. With your student debt growing and the salary you earned during your internship being barely enough to pay your share of the bills for the apartment you lived in with a colleague, you decided to turn to the suggestion of one of your friends, whose life you had given a turning point after registering on a website specializing in sugar relationships.

The first few weeks were unpromising. The guys you had expressed interest in seemed more interested in more pictures of your breasts than in actually talking to you and coming to an agreement. Until, during a break in your shift at the hospital, a suggested profile caught your attention.

The main photo appeared to be professional, taken on the deck of a yacht, and showed a man with dark hair and the shadow of a smile on his face with his arms crossed. The other images were more informal, one taken next to an airplane window and another in the gym, a headband and the bulging veins on his neck indicating that he was exerting himself.

In the profile description, he presented himself as Fernando, a 41-year-old Spaniard looking for someone who could accompany him on his travels in exchange for a generous payment. The idea of getting paid to travel seemed interesting, but it definitely didn't fit with your idea of continuing your studies to become a doctor in Miami.

That night, you ended up not touching the heart on the screen.

However, as fate would have it, at the end of your internship, you did not receive the letter of recommendation that you needed so much to apply for the residency program that you had dreamed of since the beginning of your degree. You were passionate about the field of pediatrics and the idea of working in one of the great children's hospitals in Florida, the Holtz Children's Hospital, were always in your mind.

— Y/N, it is clear that, despite you being an excellent intern, you have been making silly mistakes when filling out the forms and records — your advisor said during your last meeting — Furthermore, the reports are far below what we expect from a student with your ability.

— But, my grades…

— They are sufficient, yes, but the program requires more than grades, Y/N — he said, as he removed his glasses — It requires residents to be in their best shape, both academically and mentally. And it's clear to me that you don't meet the second requirement.

You blinked. Was it so obvious that you were tired?

— So, what should I do? — you asked, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.

— I would advise you to try to apply for it next year.

— But, what can I do until then?

— I would recommend that you rest a little before continuing with your plans — he replied, smiling — Maybe learning a new hobby would be good. That or even a trip around the world, who knows.

Leaving your advisor's office with your dreams postponed had been a blow to you. However, his words reminded you of the man who was looking for someone to travel with. Sitting in your car, you searched for his profile and, after a deep sigh, you typed a short message, a simple question.

Still looking for a travel companion?

The answer didn't take long and came in a playful tone.

So obvious?

Well, that's what it says on your profile.

Good to know that you read it.

I thought it was something basic.

You'd be amazed at how many women don't read it before sending a message.

I can't blame them, your photos are much more interesting.

The conversation between you flowed almost naturally. He seemed intelligent, good-natured and, above all, interested in your life and career, asking questions and sharing little details, like the fact that his sister was also a doctor, just like you wanted to be. It was impossible to deny that there was an interesting chemistry between you.

However, this was not a flirting game, but rather, a business deal.

Do you still want to accompany me on my travels?

Well, I wouldn't be answering you if I wasn't interested, would I?

Very funny.

I'm just being honest.

Looking at the three dots flashing on the screen, there was some anticipation building up in your chest.

I like honesty. It's a good quality.

I assume you're honest too.

I am. So much so that I want to do this the right way. Can we meet next week?

Will you be in Miami?

In fact, in New York. But I can take a detour, what do you think?

Perfect.

Your first meeting was at a high-end Japanese restaurant, located on Claughton Island, called NAOE. You even thought you were in the wrong place, since the space was completely empty except for the employees who were preparing the dishes next to the chef, who was wearing a sort of white kimono. However, after identifying yourself, the maître d' confirmed that you were in the right place and asked you to sit at the only table that had been prepared there, conveniently behind a bamboo screen.

Fernando arrived shortly after, making you jump to your feet.

— Good evening, Y/N — he said, before placing a chaste kiss on your cheek — It's a pleasure to finally meet you.

— The pleasure is all mine.

After settling in at the table, the waiter wrote down the drinks you had chosen before returning to the kitchen. However, the request from the man in front of you only made you even more curious.

— Aren't you going to drink anything tonight?

Fernando smiled a little.

— I don’t drink.

— Never?

— Never. After I realized that alcohol wouldn't make me go faster, I chose to give it up — he replied — I don't smoke either, if that's your next question.

—Actually, my next question would be if I can drink in your presence — you smiled.

— As far as I know, we haven't signed anything. You can do whatever you want.

Dinner continued without any of you mentioning the agreement that had made him fly to Miami to see you. However, at the same time as you were eager to settle everything with him, something told you to let him bring up the subject.

— Are you always this quiet? — Fernando asked, as he put down the glass of water.

— No — you said, after swallowing the piece of sushi you were chewing.

— So there's something bothering you.

— No, there isn't.

He stared into your eyes, seeming to read between the lines of your words. Then, he let out a sigh, reaching into his pants’ pocket and taking out his cell phone.

— You want to talk about our agreement, don't you?

— Well, that's what you came here to do, isn't it?

— Actually, my intention was just to enjoy some good Japanese food alongside an interesting woman — Fernando said, while searching for something on the device — But, if you prefer to get straight to the point...

He held out the phone toward you. When you picked it up, you noticed that there was a document on the screen, with the title “Relationship Agreement” in bold letters at the top of it. Something about those words made your stomach churn with tension.

— I asked my lawyer to write a draft to guide our conversation. However, I want to make it clear that there are some topics that are non-negotiable for me…

— Sex? — you asked, raising an eyebrow.

— Confidentiality — Fernando replied — I'm a discreet person when it comes to my personal life and the last thing I want is my face on the cover of gossip magazines.

— So sex is negotiable?

— You're very interested in this topic, aren't you?

— Are you not interested?

A mischievous smile appeared on Fernando's lips.

— No — he replied — It's in the contract, if you want to take a look. Page three, if I'm not mistaken.

You scrolled through the document until you found the section that talked about intimacy, reading it carefully. In the document, sexual relations and any contact that could be classified as such were completely prohibited, as your relationship would be limited to the emotional context.

— This means…

— That I don't want sex from you. I just want your company, guapa.

— And you're going to pay me for this? — you raised an eyebrow.

— Yes, as described in the section on financial support — Fernando replied — The trips will be paid by me, as well as all your expenses while you are accompanying me. I will also give you a monthly allowance to do whatever you want with it.

You looked at his phone again, thoughtfully.

— You'll have an apartment in Monaco too — he murmured, as he ran his index finger along the rim of his glass.

— I will? Why?

— Because I want you around, Y/N. Besides, making you come back here every time will be too exhausting. Believe me, the first time is amazing, but after doing this for 20 years, flying has become the part I hate most about my job.

Pursing your lips, you looked up at the driver.

— And how long would that be valid?

— Until midnight of November 20th.

That's how you agreed to become Fernando's traveling companion, as he preferred to put it. And you could only describe those last few months as “a dream”.

When the door to the small room opened, you jumped up in the chair you were in, waking up suddenly from your daydreams. On the wall, the clock indicated that it was already past 6PM. Walking through the door, Fernando held a white towel in his hand and a bottle of water, keeping his head down. Behind him, Edoardo, his physiotherapist, was saying something in Italian, which he wasn't paying attention to.

— Prepare qui le nostre cose e, dopo la gara, lasceremo tutto alle persone dell'Aston — the driver replied, before raising his head and finding you in front of him. Pursing your lips, you fought your own frustration to be open to accepting his. And today, more than ever, Fernando needed you.

Dropping his things haphazardly on a small table placed next to the door, he walked over to you in silence, allowing you to wrap your arms around him and hug him. The silence that followed made your heart tighten in his chest. It wasn't the end of the season he deserved, quite the opposite.

— What happened? — you asked.

— Water pump — Fernando replied, the irritation evident in his voice — That shitbox…

You let out a sigh, stroking the back of his neck.

— It's okay, Fer. Now it's over.

Lifting his head, the driver looked at you, brushing aside a strand of your hair.

— Yeah. It’s over.

— Are you happy? — you asked in a low voice.

— That it’s over? I think so — Fernando said, while you watched a drop of sweat run down his temple — But, I have the feeling that I could have done it differently.

— Differently?

— I think I waited too long, guapa — he murmured.

— But it's over now. And you will move on, to a new place, with new people.

Fernando smiled a little.

— Yeah, I will.

He walked away from you to change, taking off his overalls and underwear to put on his shorts and blue team shirt. Meanwhile, you approached the table where his things were, such as his cell phone, his pass and the blue cap he had been wearing all day. Taking the accessory, you turned to him, who was sitting in a chair, tying his sneakers.

— Your cap — you said, smiling.

— Is my hair that bad?

You nodded, causing Fernando to laugh before stretching his hand towards you. However, you didn't hand it to him, preferring to push the strands that were on his forehead before positioning the accessory on his head. After arranging the strands at the back, he stood up with a smile.

— Thank you, guapa — the driver said, giving you a kiss on the cheek before heading towards the door and, consequently, the cameras that awaited him. After the door closed, your eyes found the hands of the clock on the wall.

“There’s still a long way to go”, you thought.

Between meetings, photos, goodbyes, welcomes and a long break for dinner, you and Fernando arrived at the double room you shared late at night. However, contrary to what you expected that morning, you didn't feel relief that the marathon was over or anxiety about finally catching your plane back to the United States.

You felt an almost suffocating sadness.

— What time does your flight leave tomorrow? — Fernando asked, settling down on the sofa in the small hall that connected the rooms while you placed your bag on the table in front of the television.

— Eight in the morning, I guess — you murmured, turning your face towards him — Why?

— Not at all, I just — he hesitated for a few seconds, running a hand through his hair — I wanted to know.

— Do you want to take me to the airport?

— Sincerely? No.

The coldness of the response made your throat tighten. Part of you wished he had replied that he wanted to take you to the airport. Part of you wanted him to say that he would like to spend every possible second by your side before you, inevitably, had to follow your own paths, your own destinies, that weren't tied to each other.

— You think it will be easier this way, don't you? — you murmured, trying to hide the pain in your voice.

— No — he replied, his eyes searching yours. You didn't want to look at him, but at the same time, you knew that this could be the last time you would do that — I think, one way or another, it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

The silence in that room was the longest that had ever stretched between you during all those months of coexistence.

— Why would it be?

— It doesn't matter now, Y/N.

You pressed your lips together, feeling something tighten in your throat.

Going back to Miami was the last thing you wanted at that moment. You wanted to be by his side. You wanted to wake up every day to his voice humming some song whose lyrics you didn't understand. You wanted to see the smile on his face every time you commented on an article about pediatrics that you had read.

However, you needed to go back. Those last few months had just been a detour, a break from his monotonous routine. There were people, commitments, a residency whose selection you had passed with flying colors, a lifetime of taking care of children waiting for you to move on.

And moving forward meant leaving Fernando behind.

You didn't notice the moment the first tear ran down your face, nor the second. But you noticed the movement of the driver in front of you, approaching with heavy steps. Placing his hands on your face, his expression was serious, almost dark, contrasting with the heat in his eyes.

— I have to let you go in peace — Fernando said softly, his thumb sliding over one of the tears that was stuck on your cheek.

Your lower lip trembled. You just wish it were all easier.

— Please, Y/N — Fernando continued — Don't ask me to take you to the airport. Don't ask me to say goodbye to you. Don't ask me to see you leaving, because I won't bear seeing you get on a plane without me.

At that moment, you had no idea if you would be able to get on a plane in a few hours. Not without Fernando by your side, carrying his trusty black backpack and making some comment about having a sweatshirt ready for you to wear when you get cold during the flight.

So, you asked the only question your mind was capable of formulating.

— What time is it?

— What?

— What time is it, Fernando? — you repeated, seriously.

Still holding his face, he turned his wrist slightly to look at the hands of the black Richard Mille he was wearing.

— Two past midnight — he murmured — You’re free now.

— No, I'm not free — you replied, bringing your face closer to his.

— But…

— I stopped being free a long time ago, Fernando.

Fernando's expression seemed sad, which made your heart feel heavy inside your chest.

You didn't know how to explain to Fernando that you would never be free again simply because you were completely in love with him. So much so that you hadn't even realized the exact moment it had happened.

Maybe it was the day he saw you reading an article about early childhood nutrition and asked you to explain the impact of cow's milk on babies. Maybe it was the day he took you on his motorbike to a viewpoint so you could watch the sunset over Monaco. Maybe it was the moment he introduced his world to you, describing every detail with enchanting passion. Maybe it was the day you pressed that heart on your cell phone screen, right below his photo.

And no piece of paper could control what your heart felt.

Using whatever courage you had left, you tilted your head and closed your eyes, brushing your lips against his. The touch was delicate and subtle, but enough to fill your chest with an almost unbearable heat. You had thought so much about what that moment would be like, fantasized so much about the different possibilities, imagined so many times what it would be like to be in Fernando's arms, that you felt a little hesitant about continuing.

However, the decision about the direction of that shy kiss was made by the driver. Moving closer to you, he placed your mouth completely against his, hands sliding towards the back of your neck. After a few seconds, he pulled away, panting.

— Y/N…

— Please, Fer.

However, he pulled away from you, pain evident in his green-stained eyes.

— No, Y/N — Fernando said, in a firm tone — Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be for both of us.

— You're the one who's making it difficult — you replied, feeling more tears filling your eyes — I want this...

— But you don't need this — he growled — You need to go back to your city, to your apartment, to your life. And this life has no place for me, just as there is no place for you in mine.

The statement was like a punch in the gut. Taking a step back, the feeling was of having awakened from the best dream of your life to find a true nightmare. Mentally, you questioned everything that had happened so far, from the dinner in Miami to that kiss permeated by your desire for him that had been repressed for so long. “So it was all a lie?”, you thought, as he walked towards his room.

— Fer…

— Goodbye, Y/N — he murmured over his shoulder, before disappearing into the dim light, with the door closing behind him.

Your skin felt cold, even in the residual desert heat that remained inside the suite. It was almost unbelievable that this would be the end of those ten months of smiles, jokes and laughter as the two of you traveled the world. A dry and cruel goodbye, without even looking back.

Walking slowly towards your room, you couldn't help but feel a strange emptiness inside your chest. Dropping down on the mattress anyway, you realized how exhausted you were, both physically, courtesy of the intense pace of a race day, and emotionally, with the mix of completely opposite feelings that made your lower lip tremble.

You felt that it was unfair, that the way you were being discarded by Fernando was cruel, not to mention painful. And the worst part was not being able to understand the reason for that attitude, for that cold look that shattered your heart. However, your rational side soon began to whisper in the back of your mind, condemning you for believing that he could see you beyond who you were from the beginning.

An acquisition. A product. A pretty thing for him to drag around the circuits.

That realization made tears run down your face, anger and sadness spilling out of you and making you sob loudly. You even thought about smothering your crying with the pillow, but you didn't move, allowing it to echo off the walls of the room, until it lulled you into a deep, dreamless sleep.

You woke up to the sound of your cell phone's alarm clock. Rubbing your eyes, you stared at the ceiling for long seconds before finally working up the courage to get up from the bed and move forward.

Exactly as Fernando had asked.

As soon as you arrived in Miami, you decided to buy, with the money you had saved in the last few months, a studio near the beach, in addition to arranging the documentation for your residency at Holtz Children's Hospital, which was about to begin. Watching the fireworks that lit up the sea and announced the arrival of a new year, you promised yourself that the months to come would be better than the previous ones.

And by better, you meant no trips, no adventures and no crazy things.

No looks, no jokes, no laughter.

No men, no athletes, no Fernando.

The first few months passed in a blur. Hospital shifts took up much of your time, and your free time was spent reading articles about intriguing cases and organizing your new place. You didn't even notice spring arriving in the city, much less the anticipation for the great sporting event that the city would host in the following weeks.

You were making your first round of the rooms in the west wing of the hospital when, upon entering a room, you came across a little boy playing with a model of a dark blue Formula 1 car. Swallowing hard, you smiled widely.

— Good morning, Mrs. Melendi.

The boy's mother jumped up from her armchair.

— Good morning, doctor — she replied — Greet her, Omar.

The boy looked up at you.

— Hi.

— Good morning, Omar — you greeted him, placing one of your hands on the guard of his bed — How are you feeling today?

— Well — he replied, returning his attention to the cart.

— He spent the night better, doctor, breathing better. But he is still coughing a lot and complains of chest pain.

Accessing Omar's chart on your iPad, you pursed your lips as you thought. The boy's body should already be fighting harder against the infection in his lungs, but his history of asthma didn't make you so optimistic in this regard. This was one of those cases that would ask for patience, both from you and from the boy's mother.

— Well, the night has already brought a good sign. However, the cough will still persist for a while, as the body is trying to get this fluid out somehow. For now, let's continue with what was prescribed and I'll ask the physiotherapy team to send someone here to do some exercises to speed up the release of this secretion, okay?

— Doctor, does this mean I'll be able to see Checo?

You blinked, trying to process if you had understood correctly.

— Who?

— Checo, the Formula 1 driver! — Omar exclaimed — He's going to race here this week!

The Miami Grand Prix, you had completely forgotten about that.

— Ah, I see — you smiled — Everything will depend on your progress. If you take your medication correctly and undergo rehabilitation, I can try to release you by Friday. What do you think?

The boy agreed to your proposal, seeming excited about the prospect of seeing his idol race. However, as you left the room, you felt completely dazed, the memories of the previous year filling your eyes with tears.

That was a weekend of ups and downs, with a punishment causing Fernando to lose the measly two points he had managed to gain. However, those days had been worth it just for the opportunity to introduce him to your city and see how he was enchanted by every detail.

— Doctor? Are you okay? — someone asked you. Looking to the side, you found one of the nurses looking at you somewhat confused.

— Yes, everything is fine.

— Did something happen to Omar?

— No, he's progressing well — you replied, trying to compose yourself — I'm going to ask the rehabilitation staff to do a respiratory therapy session to speed up the drainage of fluids.

— Is the medication dosage still the same?

— Yes, everything’s the same — you murmured, before continuing your rounds, trying to ignore the memories that had been awakened during the visit to Omar's room. However, the task became more difficult when a notification with a painfully familiar name appeared on your cell phone during one of your breaks.

Hi, how are you?

Staring at the screen in almost disbelief, you took a few seconds to type a response, trying to balance your emotions in a single line.

Hello, Fernando. I'm fine, thanks for asking.

Are you in Miami?

Yes, why?

I found your sweatshirt in my apartment. I wanted to give you back.

The photo that accompanied the message made something turn in your stomach. That was your favorite sweatshirt, the first one you had bought when you entered university, and at that point, you had already come to terms with the fact that it was lost forever.

Oh, do you want me to go take it back?

No, I can give it to you. Where are you?

I'm still in the hospital, you can leave it at reception.

I want to hand it personally to you. I can stop by your place later, what do you think?

You were already regretting your answer as you walked to the entrance of your studio, feeling suffocated by anxiety. However, when you opened the door, it was as if you had come to the surface to breathe again, the familiar warmth spreading through your chest.

In front of you was Fernando. He didn't seem to have changed at all since the last time you had seen him, on that fateful night in Abu Dhabi. With a shy smile on his face, he wore a green shirt with the familiar silver wings of Aston Martin, the team he was racing for that year, as well as a white box in his hands.

“This color makes him even more handsome”, you thought to yourself.

— Hi — the driver said softly.

— Hey.

— Can I enter?

— Yeah, sure — you replied, opening the way for him.

The driver passed you silently, taking in the space you were living in. Seeing him there, in the place you had chosen to recover after the mess that had been that Sunday in Abu Dhabi, was strange, not to say wrong. However, this was definitely not the time to question whether his presence there was appropriate or not.

— Everything’s good? — you asked, trying to start a dialogue with him.

— Yeah, all very well. And with you?

— All good.

— It's yours? — he questioned you, gesturing with his finger to refer to the place.

— Yeah, it's mine. I bought it as soon as I got back here — you replied.

Fernando approached a shelf where there were some photos of the trips you had taken with him. There were images from all over the world, from Japan to Brazil, some with your silhouette highlighted or even his. However, he didn't seem to notice that particular detail, as he pointed to another framed image.

— Sardinia?

— Monaco. It's the beach in front of your apartment.

The silence that stretched between you was long, almost deafening. Crossing your arms, you tried to maintain a neutral expression, trying to focus on anything other than the charming lock that fell across his forehead.

— Do you miss it? — Fernando asked.

— Monaco? Not much, I didn't spend enough time there.

— And me?

You looked away to the apartment door, giggling awkwardly.

— I thought you were coming to give me back my hoodie, not do an interrogation.

— Here's your hoodie — he said, harshly, extending the box towards you — And this isn't an interrogation, Y/N. I just asked a question.

— About how I feel about you — you murmured, taking the box and placing it on your dining table.

— Is it wrong to ask?

— When that question doesn't make any sense, yes, it's wrong — you replied, looking over your shoulder.

— Why?

— Because it's wrong, Fernando.

— That's not an answer, Y/N — he replied — Come on, why doesn't it make sense?

Turning at once, anger rose like a hot wave across the back of your neck.

— Because you just discarded me like I was a fucking defective toy.

Fernando looked at you, seriously.

— You know that's not how I see you.

— No? And when you said you didn't have any space in your life for me? Isn't that discarding?

— Y/N — the driver murmured, running a hand through his hair.

— What? — you growled — Is this the way you show that you like me, that you care about me? Saying you don't want me near you?

You didn't have time to react before he advanced towards you, stopping just inches from your face. Fernando was so close to you that you could feel the heat of his skin, as well as the warm and slightly sweet smell of the cologne he was wearing at that moment. It was different from what he normally wore, but it wasn't all bad.

— Would you rather I forbid you from returning? That I stopped you from realizing your dreams? — he returned — Would you prefer if I locked you in a cage or put a collar around your neck to have you all to myself?

The words were stuck in your throat, your bottom lip trembling.

— I know my place in your life, Y/N. And I can't fight it, I can't fight the fact that I can't go further.

— Can't, or don't want to? — you asked in a low voice.

Fernando stared at you for long seconds, as if he was measuring his own words. Bringing your hands up to his face, you stroked the gray speckled beard you loved so much but had never been able to convince him to keep.

— I can't — he murmured, as his thumbs drew circles on his cheek — Y/N, please...

— But you want it — you stated, your eyes going down to his mouth, where his tongue slid to moisten his own lips — You want me.

— Yes, but…

— Then take what you want. Kiss me, touch me, make me what I was from the beginning, from the moment you looked at me for the first time.

The seconds of silence that stretched after your words seemed endless. Bringing your face closer to his, your nose lightly touched Fernando's, almost as a foreshadowing of what was about to happen.

— Make me yours — you whispered.

The moment his lips touched yours was sublime. Your chest filled with a hot, overwhelming sensation, your hands gripping his face tightly. At that moment, you tried to hold on to that feeling of finally being in the place you always imagined yourself in: in Fernando's arms.

It didn't take long for his tongue to invade your mouth, his hands squeezing your waist and bringing your body closer, as if he wanted you two to become one. And personally, that was your only desire at that moment, as you slid your lips down his neck.

— You've always been a naughty girl, haven't you? — Fernando asked as soon as you nibbled on his ear, your fingers squeezing your skin — So naughty, so beautiful...

Taking a few steps back, the driver escaped from you momentarily, sitting on the gray sofa you had in the living room. With his hands to your shirt, you didn't need any words from him to rip it off your body, your shorts sliding down your legs soon after. Taking in the sight of you completely naked for the first time, an almost boyish gleam appeared in Fernando's eyes.

— You are much more beautiful than I imagined…

— You mean you imagined me naked? — you questioned with a suggestive smile, while positioning your knees next to his legs, straddling his lap.

— It's hard not to imagine when you wore those indecent little pajamas of yours to bed — he murmured, his hands sliding down your thighs, while you supported yourself on his shoulders — That baby blue one was wonderful.

— Do you want me to put it on?

A mischievous smile appeared on his lips.

— Now that I've taken off your clothes, I'm not going to ask you to put them back on — Fernando replied, taking his hand to his face and, with a subtle movement, bringing his lips to his in a delicate, almost careful kiss. It was up to you, after a few seconds, to wrap your arms around his neck and ask for passage to explore his mouth the way you wanted.

Sliding his hands down to your butt, the driver made you stand up, bringing his face to one of your breasts. The soft touch of his tongue made you shudder, your fingers digging into his dark curls as a moan escaped his lips.

— I could hear you moaning all night long — Fernando murmured against your skin, his eyes fixed on yours, getting drunk with the pleasure in your expression — Asking, begging for me, the way I always imagined...

It didn't take long for you to start to feel the arousal become uncomfortable, almost painful. You needed more, much more than just kisses and nibbles on your breasts. Lowering your hips just above the not-so-discreet bulge in his shorts, you looked at Fernando, trying to condense what you wanted into a look full of desire.

Without saying anything, he repositioned you a little back, giving him some space to open the button and zipper of your shorts, sliding them and your underwear down. The movement allowed his dick to be revealed, hard and particularly large, with the veins standing out along its length. Biting your lower lip, you brought your index finger to one of them, following the path from the base to the tip, feeling Fernando's muscles tense.

— What do you think?

Looking up at him, you smiled.

— Good.

—Wasn't that what you imagined?

— It's hard to say, since every time I imagined your dick, it was in my mouth or my pussy.

Bringing a hand to your face, Fernando caressed your cheek.

— You are very naughty.

You chose not to answer, rising again to align your own entrance with his cock. Then, you lowered yourself, feeling him enter inch by inch, settling inside you. Closing your eyes, you allowed a moan to escape your lips, as did Fernando, who grunted against your neck.

After a few seconds, you started to move, testing angles and rhythms, until you found one that you liked. With your hands resting on his shoulders, you alternated between quick vertical movements, followed by slower, deeper thrusts. At that point, her breasts were completely red, marked by Fernando's teeth and hickeys. Marks that you would carry with pride, because it was his mouth and his passion that had done it.

— You're so beautiful — he growled, as his hands roamed over her skin — How could I have been able to let you go...

You couldn't resist the urge to kiss him again, searching for Fernando's lips as if they were the surface and you were looking for air to breathe. In that tangle of arms, hands and fingers, you felt complete. Finally complete.

— I'm going to... Oh my God, Fer, I'm going to cum — you whimpered, as you slid your hips back and forth, rubbing your clit against his pubic bone. Noticing the agony in your expression, he slid his hand until he reached your most sensitive spot. Then, massaging it, he brought you to orgasm, making you let out a loud moan, your muscles shaking and your head lolling back.

Beneath his body, Fernando took a few seconds before reaching his peak, spilling himself inside you with a loud moan, his hands holding your hips tightly to stop your movement.

The silence inside the room wasn't complete due to your heavy breathing. With your forehead pressed against his, your eyes were closed, absorbing that moment and the entire range of feelings that filled your chest with an inexplicable warmth.

— Y/N — Fernando whispered.

— Yeah?

— What now?

You moved your face slightly away from his, analyzing his furrowed eyebrows and anxiety-filled brown eyes. You knew it was impossible to turn around or simply pretend it hadn't happened, especially when you were sure you wanted to do it several more times. But did he want that?

— Well, we have two ways — you started, brushing his bangs away from his forehead — We can classify this as an accident on the road and go back to our lives...

— No, definitely not.

— Or we can stop fooling ourselves and actually live this.

— This? — he raised an eyebrow.

— This. Our relationship — you tried to classify it.

— And by truly living, you mean…

— Without pretending that we don’t have feelings for eachother.

Fernando pressed his lips together, looking away from yours. He was definitely hesitant about taking that step. And you were sure you wouldn't let him leave you there, with that doubt hanging over you.

— Do you want me to come back with you to Europe? — you asked softly, making him look at you again.

— Would you come back?

— If you wanted.

The driver let out a heavy sigh.

— I don't want to ask you this, Y/N.

— Why not?

— Because I don't want you to give up everything for me and my career.

— You talk as if this is the only place in the world where there are hospitals accepting residents — you countered, placing your hands on his cheeks — I'll find a way, Fer. We'll find a way. But I ask you just one thing.

— What?

— Don't leave me here, alone.

Fernando smiled, bringing his face closer to yours.

— Never, guapa.

[channelangel]

My void success story

I actually did it! I will be splitting this post onto sections and titling them in bold because this is going to be a long one. I got consent from @gorgeouslypink for the layout and headings!

My Void Journey + Failures

I knew about the void from beauty krystalied and moza morph's void state subliminal. At first I was so confused I googled the void and found amino and reddit, I had bad experience with reddit so I stayed away from it and I am so glad I did because of the amount of limiting beliefs. I found a success story from a website (tumblr) and I felt so excited I decided to try to tap into the void. When I gave up after 2 seconds I immediately went back to the success story and re-read everything to see what I did wrong. The cycle continued and eventually I came to loablr where I found @cinefairy, @itsravenbitch and @rosellesworkshop. I asked them questions on anon mode using translate (I revised knowing english) about the void, manifesting and more. I was desperate to enter the void because of my circumstances and the life I was living. Failed attempt and procrastination over and over I finally decided to use the law and manifest my void concept. Once I finished working on my void concept I simplified the rules of the void, my new rules were:

The void is easy to enter

I always enter the void instantly

Entering the void is normal and natural

I stuck to those rules and I persisted.

What Motivated Me To Get In

So at the time everyone was getting into the void, I saw anon success stories everywhere, I felt frustrated because "why wasn't I entering the void?" These posts gave me a wake up call

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

some are recently posted but I think everyone should still see it!

How I Entered the Void State

So there were 2 methods I used (I entered twice first for an experiment because I had a fear of the void and second to manifest my desires) I will be sharing the first one with everyone!

I used this meditation and just followed along with it, I just fully relaxed and listened to her voice it was so relaxing and It felt magical, so I definitely recommend this meditation to everyone, this is a "mind awake, body asleep, yoga nidra, pure consciousness meditation", that can be used for astral projection as well. It's not 1 hour long by the way, at the end for 40+ minutes is just binaural beats and music.

What I Manifested

I manifest so many things everything from this post and so much more as well!

Final Thoughts

I tried to make this as short as possible and the layout is from @gorgeouslypink's void success story! So all the credit to her! I would like to thank these blogs as below that changed my life, they have a special place in my heart and I love them so much!

@cinefairy @rosellesworkshop @gorgeouslypink @sexydreamgirl @itsravenbitch @cleostoohot @stxr-kill

I'll be on tumblr to give advice but sometimes I won't be that active!

Sending love!

[anim-ttrpgs]

The Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Kickstarter Page Preview!

This has been a years-long and very expensive endeavor, but we are finally getting ready to reveal the preview for the Kickstarter page that we plan to properly launch in April of this year!

We’re quite confident we can hit our base goal within just 24 hours of our launch in April of this year. However, there’s quite a lot of things that we think would really improve the end result of the project, but that are well beyond our current budget, so that’s why we made them stretch goals! Maxing out these goals is going to fill up the project with tons of stunning art from lovely femme-fatales @chaospyromancy and @qsycomplainsalot! Check out their art on their tumblr blogs to see what they’re capable of!

This Kickstarter is going to be a big jump for us, and a big risk, it’s going to take a lot of supporters to hit all these stretch goals and make A.N.I.M.’s débute game truly the best that it can be! For me in particular, my disability makes it hard for me to find other work, so the success of Eureka and A.N.I.M. as a whole is really my best shot at financial stability going forward. If you want to see these stretch goals met—and I know I sure do—show tell as many people as you can about us and our work!

While we work on a little video that is going to go at the top of the page, we are also taking feedback from y’all, the audience, both on this tumblr post and on the Kickstarter page itself! (There’s a little comment section for feedback there.) So if anything looks amiss, confusing, or you just think it could be improved, please let us know!

Here’s a little poll to help us gauge how effectively we’re reaching an audience that wants to support and play Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy! Please respond to it after you’ve had a look at the Kickstarter page linked above!

After checking out the Kickstarter page, how much would you want to pledge to the project? Remember, all backer tiers are cumulative, so if you pledge to one, you also get everything below it as well!

If you’re interested, you can also check out our website for more information as well as a place to download the free demo of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy.

If you want to play the full prerelease build of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, you can support us on Patreon for as little as $5!

If you want a chance to play the full prerelease build of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy with the development team and with no patreon subscription required, join our TTRPG book club!

A Discord invite link to the TTRPG Book Club can be found right here!

[nightmaretour]

I hate to do this, and it's a long shot I know, but things are getting desperate and it seems like I'm going to be waiting WAY longer than I should be for something that's fairly urgent.

I'm a disabled trans man living in the UK. Recently I was found to have severe anemia, and came up with my FIT test (gastrointestinal cancer screening) a few months ago, and was referred for a colonoscopy to find out the cause, since it looks like I'm having a slow but constant bleed through my GI tract. However, my referral has been awaiting review for over three months now. I'm not even on the waiting list, I'm waiting for someone to decide if I need to be on the waiting list. Since then I've started having GI symptoms such as pain, intermittent loss of appetite, etc. as well as my anemia worsening significantly.

This is of course pretty urgent, but it looks like I'll be waiting months longer once I finally get on the waiting list too. I really have no choice but to get it done through a private hospital, because of the time sensitive nature of, you know, potentially having cancer. I managed to put some money away out of the backpay I got from PIP, but it's not enough.

[ID: A screenshot of an email that's says:

Dear Mr (name blocked out in red),

Thank you for your website inquiry. For your information, the cost of an initial consultation with one of our consultant gastroenterologists is £280."

It then lists the names of 3 doctors as links, all blocked out in red. The email continues,

"The guide price for a colonoscopy is £2,339. For further information, including appointment availability, please don't hesitate to contact the medical secretaries (followed by three names redacted in red) directly on (phone number redacted in red) or call the private patient team on (phone number redacted in red). End ID]

Currently I have around £1,400 stashed away from PIP backpay I got after they royally fucked things up (however I may need to dip into this at points if I find myself struggling). Together the consultation plus the colonoscopy will cost £2,619, which leaves me about £1220 behind. I know I'm most likely not going to get that much from this, but I honestly have no choice but to try my luck here. I really don't know what else I can do.

I really don't like asking for money from people for nothing, but I have a Ko-fi store where I sell handmade screen printed patches, and I'll be adding more designs to it over the coming weeks when I have the time and energy to make new screens. I'm also offering commissions for custom band patches! (Due to Kofi's TOS I can't officially offer patches for bands without their permission.). Below are a few examples of my work:

[ID: 5 images of patches printed in white on black fabric, all sewn onto a worn looking black denim jacket. All are sewn on roughly in red floss, aside from the last one. The first says "only dates I want are tour dates". The words "dates" and "tour dates" are larger than the other text. All of the letter As are replaced with spade symbols. The second is the logo of the band Cop/Out, which is the band name with rough, jagged edges. The third is the logo for The Prodigy, which is the band name in sharp. Zig-zagging letters. The fourth is the logo for the band Subhumans, a stylised skull shouting into a microphone. The fourth is the horizontal silhouette of a crutch. With the words "Talk shit" above it and "get hit" below it. Unlike the rest it is sewn on in black, and the edge of an embroidered back patch is visible just above it. End ID]

I know a lot of people aren't doing well financially right now, and that there are people in far, far more dire situations who probably need your help far more than I do, but I would appreciate any purchases of patches or help you can offer so, so much. Even just sharing the post would be enormously appreciated.

Current progress:

£115/£1220

And of course as pet tax, here's Cynder :)

[ID: A photo of a female wild type leopard gecko laying spread out on a smooth rounded rock in a glass fronted tank. Her head is sideways and raised, looking at the camera with one eye. She looks relaxed and curious. Behind her a large piece of thick tree bark and a plastic cave can be seen. End ID]

[sgiandubh]

Lights, camera, shit show

I was just cleaning my OL folders (all those Chinese paintings and scrolls do take a horrendous amount of space, heh) and I just stumbled upon something I completely forgot to share and discuss with you. I found this particular article during my solitaire lurking months and I remember being befuddled by it for a long time, then thought I've lost it for good.

I don't remember ever seeing it shared or discussed in here, either and if, by any slim chance, I am wrong, kindly forgive me. That professional website is now closed, but its content is still available to browse:

Anyway, there goes: https://www.studiodaily.com/2018/06/outlander-dp-stephen-mcnutt-asc-csc-saucy-scottish-show/

We discussed Terry Dresbach and her inebriated rants, Vanessa Woman's devastating impact on set as Intimacy Coordinator, RDM's jealousy and many other aspects of life on the OL set. Rumors likely to have originated there peppered our shipping trail like flickering lights in a sea of darkness. So yes, we dissected these things to death. But not Stephen McNutt's interview to Studio Daily, on June 22, 2018 - please keep in mind the date, it is essential!

Stephen McNutt is a well-established professional and a member of the American Society of Cinematographers (ASC) and the Canadian Society of Cinematographers (CSC), as he hails from British Columbia. He also has a consistent track record of previous work with RDM, both on Battlestar Galactica and Caprica (its prequel). Therefore, one has to immediately suppose he was handpicked and brought on set by the same RDM, of course: set a very low bar on your expectations, I am warning you.

By the grace of RDM, he was one of the main Directors of Photography for OL during Seasons Two and Three. IMDb is not the best source for corroborating things, because they credit him with 13 episodes in Season Two (including La Dame Blanche- he is the Blue Room guy!), but only one for Season Three (First Wife), which is completely wrong. I even had to check some opening credits on Netflix (at reduced speed, ugh), because he speaks at length of A. Malcolm, something that would have made little sense otherwise. He was there, of course: and his is a first-hand account, heavily loaded with both innuendo and TPTB bullshit, up to the point of complete incoherence.

We focus on the three final questions:

This is a study in bullshitology, right here. The question asked is very clear and very technical: how did you approach those famous love scenes?

The answer is a mumble jumble of retcon, deflections, slips and overall impossible scramble for a logical explanation. I am doing a line by line, because this is almost too good to be true:

'(...) But as far as Cat and Sammy making love (...)' : um, hello and excuse me, I thought the question was about Jamie and Claire?!? And then we are delusional and can't fucking separate, when your own henchman, the Director of Photography no less, seems to be totally unable to do so, too? Hello? Also: 'Sammy'? 'Sammy'? What. The. Total. Fuck, and I LOLed then and I am still LOLing now. Terms of endearment overheard on set - but no, here comes the 'friendship' shite, hitting the narrative fan with Mach 5 speed. Objective? Explaining in a plausible way the hugging and 'keeping warm'. And I am sorry, but this begs the question: what the hell did this man see on that set? And how many people did see the same, hence the need to release such a gratuitous lie, for pure retconning purposes?

'They are not an item at all - I think she just got married'. Oh, fuck my life, man: you are such a terrible, terrible liar! Remember, that interview was taken in June 2018: after the OZ EFH and just about when C. was gleefully answering 'oh, God forbid!' every time she was prompted by press about her marriage plans. How can somebody with a pretty high trophic level and personal rapport to both S and C be totally unaware about C's marital status at the time? How can a long time acquaintance and coworker of RDM say no both to a friend and to a current boss (same person, the worst case scenario) asking for a favor, in that particular context? It also goes to prove that the shit show plot mainlines never originated with S and C and that the Remarkable Week-end was already planned for quite some time. By TPTB. With the full knowledge of RDM.

Let's suppose Mr. McNutt was so deeply engrossed in his work as not to notice all the people who must have congratulated C on set. I mean, I know who our (spinster) colleague from Accounting is currently banging and that guy is (mercifully) not among our staff (I totally wish them well, btw). Maybe because nobody congratulated C on that fakegagement? Also, you know them well enough to confidently say 'they are not an item', but don't know she was not married at the time and state an enormity with the same confidence? What in the name of the hoo-ha did I just read, here?

'I was always in such amazement of that.' In amazement of exactly what, Mr. McNutt? Surely not a woman holding hands or keeping warm with her gay co-star on set, huh? I mean, I need the best American English dictionary, here:

Again: what the heck did this man see? What comments did he hear? Surely, 'amazement' is a very precise choice of wording, with particularly enlightening synonyms:

Hence the need to end the demonstration with a deflection: 'They would just have fun.' You know, there is no such thing as a virgin whore, Mr. McNutt: you either are in such astonishment or you think your pals, good old S and C, such a funny girl, were having, well... 'fun', what else? You can't logically have both in the same paragraph!

And there we go: 'a very collegial atmosphere on set'. The answer is pure fool's gold, if you ask me: 'Nobody goes to sit in a trailer or says they aren’t showing up that day. '

And I laughed. And I laughed. And I laughed. I really don't know what this man is talking about. I never heard McTavish telling S to get out of that trailer ('nephew'). I never read the 'two very loved-up birdies' in a trailer a-rockin' Anons. I never watched that 2015 Anglophile SDCC interview, when S mentioned listening in their shared trailer to Erasure's Oh, l'Amour and C immediately reacted ('oh, did you just admit to that?'). But unlike me, McNutt must have been legally bound by a big cojones Non-Disclosure Agreement and morally bound by loyalty towards RDM, his friend, boss and benefactor.

This. All of the above. This is the real reason for all the bullshit you've just read: explaining a real, shocking love story by socially progressive regulations, allowing the cast to be 'much more happy'. I would laugh some more, if this was not sinister and cruel, in fact.

It is Love. A deep, strong one. But the seeds of the adverse narrative were planted early and deep, forcing even decent people like this guy to lie and smear himself a bit in the process. What we see and hear now are but better worded and more refined consequences of that fateful January 2016 morning in LA. And since I am allowed the dubious luxury only a healthy distance in time allows, let me remind you a simple, fun fact about this interview who stated they were never an item:

About ten months after McNutt uttered these words, the fandom was hit by the Covfefe Pics.

I rest my case.

[the-curse-of-neoclones]

Moderneopets Artist Mistreatment

Edit as of 11/16/23 10:40 AM NST:

Removed names where I failed to do so before. I'm very sorry to the affected parties, this snowballed so far out of my intended scope.

Edit as of 11/16/23 5:30 PM NST

Please see this post for a small update.

As of 11/16/23 10:10 PM NST, Hazer the site owner has formally and publicly apologized to myself and Velu, the other affected artist. As far as I'm concerned he has officially handled the situation as best as he could, and I hold no further qualms with Moderneopets. I hope to hear of its management continuing in this direction.

The following post is left up for archival purposes only.

*****

Hello, I’m wren. I'm an artist responsible for some of the pet assets on the neoclone, Moderneopets. I'm just going to get into it.

Hazer was extremely lucky to somehow cultivate a dense group of largely professional artists to work together to make assets for his site. When it comes to his own management as a site runner, he’s largely hands-off of the art department, which is a good thing! If he can’t be active in the art panel enough to know what goes on in there, he shouldn’t be running it— we have many strong, capable artists on the team who are passionate about recreating the neopets style, who work together on every pet that has been released ever since critique became a requirement. 

It makes sense that, with a project this large, Hazer should have to designate moderators to enforce rules when he is absent. Choosing to bring on moderators was also a good decision. Unfortunately, he chose poorly. 

Art panel issues should have separate Art panel moderators to take care of them. People who are not overburdened with generic moderation duties from the many other channels of the server, for example. In the same vein, artists should not be moderators. When an artist has an issue with another artist, who happens to be a moderator (which has happened many times, with many people— If the mods actually open threads for all complaints they receive, they should have evidence of this & if they don’t they are not being truthful), the artist would likely not feel comfortable approaching that same artist-slash-moderator to complain about what happened. It breeds an aura of fear and discomfort any time there is an issue with an artist/mod, and that is why the two moderators on the team should have to choose one or the other if hazer wants to cultivate a healthy atmosphere in his panel. 

I’ve created many pets for this website. Neopets has been a passion of mine since the third grade. I’m also one of those professional artists I mentioned— my work is also art, industry or otherwise. I care about breaking neopets down into their core, recognizable shapes. I care about keeping them on-model and in the spirit of the original TNT art team, with improvements made where I and the other panelists think they make sense. I have redlined for other artists to an even greater degree, just as other artists have redlined for me and helped me finalize each pet into something simply good: something that made sense to get put on a little passion project website for other people with a similar passion to enjoy. I found the panel to be a community of likeminded artists with which to discuss our favorite childhood petsite while we made art for a clone, as if we could pretend we were making art for neopets-dot-com. It was nice. 

It wasn’t perfect, though. In fact, shortly after I joined in 2021 I took a hiatus because the art panel was fairly dead. I came back a little while later to see we had several new species, as well as an art director, and lots of activity! That was very exciting. Over the next year I would reach out to the panel or, if nobody was sure of how to proceed, I would reach out to the art director to propose ideas for how to make the panel a little more functional; quality of life updates, if you will. I don’t take credit for all of these alone, there were other artists with similar ideas all communicating to the director in private, but some examples: 

A designated “collab” zone where artists could seek out other artists to complete pets with. 

“The Purge,” in which the team was whittled down to ~25 current, active artists to refresh the team and allow for new artists to join. 

“The Approval System,” which I first sat down with in my workshop (public to all artists) to hammer out the details with as many other artists as wanted to give their input— a method for pitching new ideas to eventually break through the “new species/color freeze” that had been plaguing us.

Speaking on the approval system: like most things that required Hazer’s direct input in the art team, it was left without response for a very long time. Artists with ideas for custom species or colors would occasionally murmur about their excitement for the system to get a look-over by hazer, to see if our approval system pitch would be approved. But hazer is busy, as we all know, and the pitch sat for a while. We had new & returning artists on the team to keep everyone busy. 

What I would expect from a years-old panel of artists, when new additions arrive, would be some manner of tutorial. New artists would need to know the pipeline (here’s your workshop, you can post WIPs and anything else in there; here’s how you ping for critique, here are the spaces in which to ask for it; make sure you always ping before your work is submitted on-site), and there would likely be some acclimating on both sides. What I did not expect (but should have), was pushback from new artists on things that hadn’t had pushback in a long time. Why can’t [x] color be a posechange? Well, we’ve created many already and none of them were posechanges. Why can’t I use colored lineart? Well, that isn’t in line with the style standards set by this color; see, nobody else is coloring their lineart. 

Suddenly there was a divide between veteran artists, the director, and the new blood. The divide felt greater when Hazer came to his new artist’s aid to say, approximately: “Eh, if someone wants to go above and beyond and make better art, they shouldn’t have to adhere to the guidelines.” Then he threw the art director under the bus for not somehow knowing that his intentions were always to keep the panel loose and unstructured. But don’t worry, that isn’t the first bus and won’t be the last.

My personal investment in the panel waned around that time. I think a structured “work” environment with easily accessible rules and deadlines is necessary to any project of this size. If we didn’t want to enforce color standards, nor prioritize certain colors for release, and anyone could just submit whatever Nice Art they wanted, why not open it up so any user could submit pet art? Why have a panel at all? Isn’t Hazer taking any opportunity to dunk on Leopets because he wants his site to be better? How is this different? 

But I stuck around. This was a hobby I really enjoyed, after all, and I really believed it could get better. It had a good core, and despite my grievances with individual artists, none of them were bad people. 

But I noticed some trends. New artists would receive feedback that they didn’t agree with and retaliate by bringing in their emotions or personal preferences. Any disagreement where multiple veteran artists stepped in to say their piece would escalate to the point of very long messages on both sides, and would need to be left to hazer to give a final input. Often he didn’t come around to it, because he’s busy, as we know. I didn’t step in to every argument; they became cyclical after a while, and I didn’t have the time or energy to spend simply tapping the proverbial sign (or style sheet). I would try to give positive suggestions when I could, for example: I don’t think this color needs another alt for just one single design, but we did talk about eventually making this color that your design would fit into really well. 

I’ve done my time having arguments on the internet. I really just want an art environment where the rules are set and people actually enjoy following them, because I do— I see art rules as helpful guidelines at best and obstacles to cleverly navigate at worst, which is still fun. But of course not everyone is going to feel the same way, that’s normal; that’s life. 

On 11/9 I was given this message by Hazer: 

It reads:

Hello wren,

I am reaching out to you today to inform you that effective immediately you are being dismissed from the Artist and Consultant Panels. This decision has been reached through discussions and based on repeated offences in the form of user harassment and subjecting the panels to a toxic atmosphere, after multiple reports and concerns brought up to us by other users.

While we understand concerns regarding panel management, there is a distinct difference between criticising and condeming the way the panel does things and criticising and condeming users that are on the panel, and we believe this line has been crossed one too many times, further supported by concerns brought to us.

We appreciate the passion and drive of our team—all of them—and we understand you have been very passionate about the panel. Given some of the messages we see, we have also concluded that due to things in the panel not working out as you have wished, it has caused you much stress and upset as well, which we do not want. All in all, we've decided that the atmosphere of the panel and your own enjoyment of the website are hampered by your presence on it. Because of this, we have decided it is best to have you part ways with the staff sections of the website.

Effective immediately after this message, we will be permanently removing you from the panels. While normally we do a temporary removal, in this case we've seen that your compatability with our management and handling of the panel will not improve, and it will just bring stress to both sides.

We understand you have put a lot of passion into the projects you have been working on for release in Moderneopets, and in lieu of that, we offer you the option of having the project(s) still be released even after dismissal. Rewards will still be granted for releases per usual, and credit will still be given. If you decide, due to dismissal, you do not want your unreleased work to be released on Moderneopets, simply state it as such, and we will discard all progress on projects you have been working on to respect those wishes.

This decision is final and will not be revoked.

Best wishes to you,

The Moderneopets Team

[end caption]

My response:

It reads: 

No warnings huh?

[end caption]

Hazer didn’t have an answer for me. I was already removed from the panel. 

This came as a shock. I’d been there for over two years, I felt I had a good rapport with the other artists, I felt I’d been a helpful and active addition to the team. Like I said, I’ve done my time having arguments on the internet… what toxic behavior? Discussions over style guides? Giving redlines to people with permission? Working with the whole team to bolster several new color releases? I had an entire species that Hazer wanted ready to go since March— I just pushed through the Swamp Gas release, I just created the Mystical alt? 

No warnings?

Let me reiterate: I have never been spoken to by any staff about my behavior. Hazer, his then-four moderators— none of them have ever been in my DMs to issue a warning. I have spoken TO the mods about others’ behaviors, and nothing ever came of it. The one time (and I mention this for full transparency only) the art director came to talk to me about something I said, it was stated clearly that it was not a warning, and even so I adjusted my behavior around said issue accordingly. And that was well before the purge. 

But, don’t take my word for it. Here it is from hazer himself, speaking over his mods who were busy telling the rest of the panel that they always issue warnings: 

It reads:

No in this case I do agree that this has been an abrupt situation and I understand the blind-sided-ness of it. No official warnings were given out regarding the actions that resulted in the removal of artists today and that’s on fault of myself and deebs not working things out properly despite the moderation team bringing issues to a us a few times – also due to our lack of availability recently.  [end caption]

So… What happened? Well… here it is from Hazer, in longform: 

For those who use screen readers, above are several enormous discord screenshots; I've placed it in a paste bin here: https://pastebin.com/dHLiBRTF

Two other artists immediately stepped down. Hazer admits here in his message that he and the mods had multiple tickets opened about my behavior, that they had known they wanted to remove me. They never gave a warning, never talked to me until the moment of my dismissal, but they had known it was coming for months? 

Why did Hazer and his gang of mods let me continue working on art for their panel? Why did they let me work so hard to pull Swamp Gas together for an official release? Why did they let me put together a whole custom Alt and workshop it for so long? I’ve been active this whole time. Why did you let me keep working if you knew you wanted me gone? 

I am a professional artist. My work is art. Hazer made the knowing decision to exploit my time and effort for his website. He’s not paying me, he’s not paying any of us. It’s volunteer work. But I did not volunteer to be mistreated like this. To not even be given a chance to defend myself. To him, artists are disposable. To him, if someone has worked on your team for years but speaks up when your friend tries to overturn the system, even civil discussion is cause for disposal. Civil discussion negates years of effort, passion, time and care. 

I didn’t have to make art for you, Hazer. And you don’t deserve the team you have. How many artists have voiced their discomfort with your actions? How many artists are taking a break from the panel because of how you handled this? Ah, wait, you wouldn’t know… you’re busy. 

Hazer and his mod team are just another corrupt group of individuals unfortunately heading what could have been a fun and promising petsite. Everyone who speaks praise of modneo does it by and large because of the new and unique art. Hazer was extremely lucky to cultivate a dense group of largely professional artists to work together to make assets for his site. 

If Hazer wants to show any sign of his potential to be a better person, I believe he needs to formally apologize to his site for the misuse of his power and the mistreatment and exploitation of artists on his team. He needs to apologize to you, the players of his game, the subscribers to his patreon, for allowing this to happen under his watch and under his word. You know you fucked up, hazer. You shouldn’t have sided with your friend without any actual evidence of misconduct. You shouldn’t have spoken about me like I was a toxic, subhuman hindrance to your art team. You shouldn’t have treated me like that. I didn’t deserve it. None of us did. You can apologize to me and the other lost artists publicly.

[justalonelyslytherin]

What A Shirt Can Tell

Pairing: Colin Shea x female Reader

Summary: 5+2 times Colin asked 'Is that my shirt?' plus the one time he got asked it. Aka a look through the journey of Colin and his girl, each in which his shirts play an important role.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of sleeping together, pregnancy (last 2 scenes)

Wordcount: 7.1 k

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging. I don't allow for my content to be copied, translated, or reposted on other websites/apps. Please don't steal my work and don't enter it into any AI program/website.

A/N: Is it already August? Huh, wasn't it only easter a couple weeks ago? No? Well my bad, but here is finally the last of the requests I asked for that time. Thank you @drabblewithfrannybarnes for the amazing prompt! This turned into a bigger endeavor than I had anticipated but I loved both the prompt and any minute of writing it. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it just as much <3 Dividers are by the talented @/firefly-graphics

His shirt was gone, Colin was sure of it. He had spent more time searching for the stupid piece of fabric than he’d liked to admit. Where had it gone? Had he misplaced it in his apartment? He wasn’t that messy. Had someone stolen it? Who would steal just a shirt and leave everything else behind? 

There was no explanation for Colin why he couldn’t find the damn thing. Not that he didn’t have anything else to wear. He wanted to wear this shirt in particular. It was one of his favorites and – call him superstitious – it was his lucky shirt.

With a huff, he gave up. There was no finding it and he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be found in his apartment either. Not particularly happy at the prospect of having to wear something else, Colin went for his second most valued shirt and pulled it on.

Because running late also wasn’t an option today. Not if he wanted to get on the good side of his band members and keep his wallet from being depleted. He had to buy them drinks for being late one too many times already.

Turned out that all he needed to find his shirt was to leave his apartment. There in the hallway nowhere else than on her. 

“Morning Colin,” she called out as he pulled the door closed behind him. 

“Morning–” he stopped, startled by her choice of clothing. Funny, that looked exactly like his– wait a minute. Colin squinted trying to figure out if that truly was his shirt and perhaps he also stared a little too long.

“Is that my shirt?” He blurted out, causing her to freeze. Glancing down her own body at the shirt, Colin could see her brows furrow. He walked over to her to inspect the shirt closer.

“That is my shirt,” he confirmed, pulling at the fabric on her stomach, eyeing the fabric, the way it was washed out. Just in the way his shirt was. There was even the small bleach stain when he’d spilled the bottle right into his basket.

As he looked up at her again, fabric absentmindedly rubbing between his fingers, she was puzzled. Colin couldn’t help but grin in amusement.

“Did you steal that from me?” 

Watching her become so flustered amused him greatly. He laughed as she started to babble excuses for it, denying all claims of thievery. 

“It’s ok. I must have left it in the washer.” “I’ll go change,” she mumbled apologetically but he shook his head.

“No need for that.

It is my favorite shirt though, so maybe give it back once you got your joy out of it?” he mumbled, a crooked smile on his lips.

“I’ll do, promise.”

Nodding he glanced at his watch, cursing that he was now running late. Again.

Colin’s nap was rudely interrupted by a knock on his front door. Once he didn’t answer the first time, it sounded again. With a groan, he released the pillow he’d been hugging to his chest and slowly sat up.

“Come in! It’s open.”

Still busy rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and yawning, he didn’t see her enter his apartment at first.

“You know that’s gotta stop.” “What’s gotta stop?” He asked, standing up and stretching. His bare state of clothing flustered her, as she quickly turned away from him.

“Don’t you have anything to wear?!”

“I’m not naked,” he butted in.

“But not dressed either!” Wanting to indulge her, he grabbed the discarded shorts by the side of his couch and slipped into them.

“Better?” Carefully she looked behind her, peeking at him. She huffed a little, seeing he still lacked a shirt, but decided it was better than nothing.

“Now what were you saying?” Looking at her in question, Colin patiently waited for the answer. It seemed to have been rather dire the way she hadn’t even greeted him. Now however she seemed unable to get the words out.

Her eyes flitted through his space, teeth nibbling at her bottom lip as she contemplated. Then they locked onto something. 

“If you keep using my apartment and me to get rid of your nightly companions I want compensation.” She looked at him, crossing her arms before her chest. 

Colin spluttered in surprise, the laugh falling from his lips. “Compensation? Do you want me to make you breakfast whenever I come over? Or lunch?”

“No.”

“No? Then uh…” Well, he wasn’t sure what else he could offer her.

“I’m going to take this as payment.” With that, she walked past him and bent down toward his laundry basket, in which his freshly washed shirts rested. He had been too lazy to put them away. As she stood back up she clutched a shirt of his in her hands. 

“My shirt?” He asked her.

“Yep.” 

If that's what she wanted, Colin wasn’t going to argue. Even if he couldn’t understand why exactly she wanted one of his shirts.

“That’s all?” 

His words made her stop and think. Colin started to grin at the way her eyebrows furrowed and her nose scrunched up in concentration. It was cute. She was cute.

“Well, you don’t seem to be able to offer me much otherwise.”

“Ouch,” he winced, grabbing his chest in mock hurt.

“You know I just got paid, let me take you out.” 

She looked at him with big eyes.

“I take you out now and you can have as many shirts as you want as long as I have enough to wear too, deal?”

Colin held his hand out for her, waiting on her decision. Chewing her bottom lip she seemed to contemplate the offer. In the end, she nodded and put her hand in his. They shook hands.

“Deal. You can keep hiding in my apartment and I’m allowed to steal your shirts.”

A deal made, she patiently waited for him to shrug on a shirt plus shoes and grab his wallet. Together they walked out of his apartment. 

“But why the shirts? No judgment, I’m just curious.” Colin asked as they walked down the stairs together.

“Keeps creepy guys away if they think I’m taken,” she answered with a shrug and a smile. 

“Huh,” he mumbled, watching her from the corner of his eye. He knew mayhaps a better solution for that.

Sunlight crept into the room through the cracks in the blinds, illuminating the room sporadically. Pouring over the bed the light cast long lines across the bedding, warming her cheek and arm. 

All could have been fantastic on this cozy, beautiful morning had the light not come from the wrong side of the room. This small, lone fact was the reason she couldn’t drift off into sleep once more. Instead, she carefully opened up her eyes, first one and then the other, and peered into the room that was not hers.

It looked familiar. It was, as she noticed the guitar leaning against a chair and a strong, warm pair of arms wrapped around her, that she remembered – or rather realized – where she was. 

Colin’s. 

Right. They’d been out yesterday evening.

Colin had taken her out, they’d eaten at the promenade and walked through the park to a cheap but excellent cocktail bar. That’s how she ended up in this bed.

Well, she had planned to end up in his living room, lured in by Colin’s offer to let the final part of the evening fade out with the comfort of his couch under her butt, a cool beer in her hand, and perhaps a little drunken serenade with his guitar.

Judging how the guitar remained in its stand, seemingly untouched, they had skipped the serenade and gone straight for the tumble in the sheets.

As she sunk back into the mattress, Colin curled around her back, his breath tickling her bare shoulder, she thought that this was something she could get used to.

Falling back asleep seemed easy at that moment, weren’t it for her stomach grumpily disrupting the – not so early – morning peace.

“Colin, come on!” She whined, pouting at the brunette opposite her. He only grinned, wallet pulled from his pocket as he shook his head.

“Nope. I invited you so I pay.”

“I don’t want to be indebted..”, she muttered quietly, not noticing the frown that momentarily crossed his face.

“Hey, now. Nothing of this ‘being in debt’, you aren’t. But if you so badly want to do something in return you can.”

“I can?” 

He nodded at her, thinking hard for a couple of moments. “How about you treat us to breakfast tomorrow morning?”

She snorted quietly but thought about it. “Alright. Hangover breakfast is on me tomorrow morning.”

That memory of the previous evening made her whine quietly. She wasn’t in the slightest mood to get dressed appropriately enough to leave the confines of Colin’s apartment. Leaving the house was too much work.

Hungry she was nonetheless and her annoyingly vocal stomach wouldn’t let her forget it either. Once more it grumbled, gurgling louder than the first time, a steadily growing monster waiting to be fed. 

She froze but Colin didn’t rouse in the slightest and so, after waiting a couple more ticks of the clock – there was no way the grump that demanded to be fed could wait any longer – she gradually wiggled out of his grip and climbed from his bed.

Their clothes were strewn in all directions of the room, she wasn’t even sure it was all of them. One however stood out. It was the shirt he had worn the previous evening. And even though she spied her shirt just beside it, it was the former she grabbed and lazily shrugged on. 

When Colin awoke two things were out of place. One, he had expected to wake up with company. There was a pang in his chest at the cool and empty sheets ruffled around his waist, clearly used by another body but long left behind.

He’d been so sure that what he understood to be going on between them, what he felt was budding, was mutual. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Perhaps he had read into it too much, perhaps he had run ahead at a pace she wouldn’t go. 

But then there was the second thing out of place. If he was alone, which he assumed, where was this delicious smell coming from? He couldn’t mope in his disappointment for long, his stomach faster than his brain.

Stumbling out of bed, he grabbed his boxers, discarded at the foot of the bed. Every other clothing forgotten or ignored in favor of finding the source of this heavenly smell. 

Even more amazing than the smell of breakfast was the sight before him, as he descended the couple of steps into the main space of his apartment. There he found his fled bed buddy and what a sight to behold she was.

It was simple, her state of dress and style. Hair down, ruffled in the back from their canoodling and sleep following it, barefoot and barely dressed. In fact, as Colin stepped closer – sneaking up on her, as she hadn’t noticed him yet – he observed the single item of clothing she was wearing closer.

“Is that my shirt?” He asked with a grin and a raised brow, leaning against the wall that closed off the kitchen halfway. Her head snapped around, eyes briefly widening as she looked him up and down. Colin’s grin grew, he bit on his lower lip and relished in the way she eyed him.

A low moan slipped past his lips as he got his confirmation, she was wearing his shirt. It triggered something in him, something innate and primal. Not to mention the arousal coursing through his veins at the look, but there was more. He never wanted to see a different sight than her in his shirt. 

She shrugged her shoulders, finished with eyeing him up and thinking of a calm but clever answer. “You don’t like it? Want me to take it off?” 

Colin growled quietly, his eyes darkening. Pushing off the wall he stalked up to her until they were nose to nose, toes to toes.

“I like it more than I can express, don’t want to see you ever again in anything else.” His words took her breath, a small gasp left her lips as she glanced up at him. There was no doubt in her that he meant every word he said. 

“Although I can’t decide if I want you to keep it on so I can savor the look or if I want to rip it off of you right now.” 

A shiver ran down her spine, tension coiling in her stomach. It was palpable, the air thick with crackling energy, tiny bolts sizzling between them.

The smell of food and the crackle of the stove brought her back. Clearing her throat she motioned toward the cooking breakfast.

“Food first.”

Colin hummed, coming impossibly closer to her. “Food first, then dessert.” His fingers tugged at the hem of the shirt. With a boyish grin on his lips, he tried to peek down the collar, all the while his fingers contradictory tried to tug the shirt up to get a peek elsewhere.

With a laugh she pushed his hands off, turning back towards the stove and Colin sighed in playful defeat.

“Come on Shea, don’t be a coward,” Colin murmured under his breath, chin tucked close to his chest as he hopped from one foot to the other in front of his door. “It’s just a shirt.”

Said shirt in his hands felt like it was made out of lead. It wasn’t the material that weighed so much but the implication behind it. Which, in truth, was even more stupid than if in his hand he had a shirt actually made out of lead.

Time had passed since he had last seen her wear his shirt that morning in his kitchen. Time in which the two of them had gone on many more outings – dates they’d agreed to name them – crowned with the agreement of going steady. 

And while Colin had gained a girlfriend, he had lost the previous agreement of compensation, her need for cashing in the demand for one of his shirts void. Instead of hiding in her apartment from his flavors of the night, the two of them either woke up together in one of their apartments or met for a shared breakfast.

There was no way Colin would ever want to go back to how it was before, but he did have to admit that he missed having her come in to collect her payment and he missed it even more to see her wear one of his shirts just casually. So he was going to do something about it. 

Today.

Right now.

With a sigh and a crack of his neck following the roll of his shoulders, he turned the doorknob and strode out of his apartment. Right across the hallway, past the staircase and to her door, opposite of his. 

She was lounging on her sofa, caught up in the depths of a book as Colin sauntered down the four steps into the living space. It was right about then that he stopped as if he had slammed into an invisible wall. 

Surprised, he asked, “Is that my shirt?” 

Dropping the book into her lap, she looked up at him but all Colin could focus on was the print of the – clearly too big – shirt on her frame. He hadn’t expected to see her wearing a shirt of his. He hadn’t even noticed it was gone.

“What…when did you..” he muttered, scratching the back of his head in bafflement, too dumbfounded to end the train of thought let alone the sentence.

In amusement she snorted at her stunned boyfriend, smiling and feeling a sense of pride and triumph.

“Took you long enough to realize,” she grinned at him, happy how good of a job she had done. It was then she noticed the fabric in his hand, hanging limply at his side.

“Did you steal more of my shirts?” 

Instead of answering, she asked her own question. “What’s that?” 

Colin’s eyes followed hers, zeroing in on the shirt in his hands. He hadn’t forgotten it, okay he might have, but his reasons were good! Now he raised the newly discovered article of clothing in his hand, his mission coming back to mind.

“I, ugh- I wanted to give you this to..” He sighed, whining at the look of delight on her face, “Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Enjoying this so much!” He growled, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. She laughed as Colin stalked towards her. Plopping down on the sofa beside her he contemplated if it was worth it to try to tickle her.

She had a mean kick, a fact he had regrettably learned through firsthand – foot – contact. It was an experience he had no need to relieve a second time.

“I’m sorry, you are just too cute,” she muttered, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. Colin hummed and chased the softness of her lips.

“Kiss me some more and I might forgive you.” “Forgive me?” She taunted, a brow raised in mock as her eyes glinted with mischief. 

“Yeah. That or you can tell me since when you have this and why I haven’t seen you wear it until now.” Her wearing his clothes had an undeniable reaction on Colin. He couldn’t get enough of the sight. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen only second to her beauty when she lay sweaty and naked beneath him.

His words made her roll her eyes, but the smile never faltered. “Colin you obviously haven’t paid close enough attention, I’ve been wearing your shirts nonstop.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really. If you had been not so busy trying to get me naked every chance you get–”

“–I didn’t hear you complaining before!” With another eye roll, she leaned forward and kissed him again, mainly to shut him up.

“As I was saying, I’ve been wearing them fairly regularly. I snuck a shirt or two out of your apartment a couple of times.” Admitting it suddenly made her shy.

Colin however looked at her entirely smitten. His arm wrapped around her, knuckles rubbing the space between her shoulder blades in comfort and to encourage her to continue.

“I like wearing them,” she admitted, chewing on her bottom lip, “they smell like you and that is comforting. And I kinda got used to it.”

Colin’s heart stuttered and swelled with warmth. “I love you.” 

The thought, no, the feeling had been lingering in him for a while now but there had never been the right time in his mind to tell her. But right now felt like the perfect time. He could no longer hold this a secret, not when she invoked such vivid feelings in his chest. Colin had never felt so deeply and strongly for anyone.

In surprise she sucked in her breath, the air whistling between her lips. She looked at him with widened eyes. Colin could see the various emotions flit over her eyes, her mind working at lightning speed to process the words. And once they finally did, warmth flooded her expression.

“I love you too,” she whispered softly, breathily.

Laughter intercrossed the patter of water against tiles and glass. The spray of liquid obscured the two bodies, ripples of steam rose from their feet and swirled upwards between their legs. The warm water softly cascaded down over them, hair soaked and clinging to their bare skin.

A soft giggle escaped her lips at the tickling breath crossing her shoulder. There was the scratch of stubble from Colin’s cheeks grazing her neck mixing into the sensation. He nosed along her shoulder, lips hovering just a breath away.

Yet it was his hands that drew the happy sounds out of her, the little giggles and bigger waves of laughter, and in between the little sighs as well. He was feeling her up, his hands restlessly traveling over the planes of her body, fingertips gently caressing the bare skin. If not for the warm spray of water he’d have reduced her to shivers. Alas, he hadn’t come that far yet.

All of it was slow and languid. They had all the time in the world. The rest of their lives. Now even more so as the matching bands on their hands twinkled in unison in the refracting lights. 

Colin took his time, arms wrapped around her, hands softly drawing up and down her sides. He was comfortably draped around her back, herself leaning into the hold, head resting on his shoulder. He couldn’t have been happier.

Focused entirely on the other, on their intimate togetherness, their bodies swayed softly following their natural rhythm, an instinctual dance.

A gasp left her as his lips pressed onto the column of her neck, trailing along to the crossing where her shoulder fused with her collarbone. The gasp turned into a breathless hum, kisses turning to small nibbles and soft strokes on her skin to hungry paws of her flesh. 

“Colin,” she hummed into the warm, steam-mottled air, eyes fluttering shut. His traveling hands halted just under the swell of her breast, thumbs drawing over the bottom most part of her curves.

“Yes, my love? My wife.” She felt him grin into the sentence, lips tugging upwards against her skin, emphasized by another nibble, this time at the edge of her jaw, just below her ear.

The term still felt new and unfamiliar but she was certain she’d find a quick liking to it, just as she had found to address him as her husband.

“Room Service is going to be there any moment now.”

“And?”

“Someone’ll need to answer them.”

“Can’t they just leave it outside the room? I’m sure they can wait.” He couldn’t see her brows furrow from his position but he heard the whine coming from deep within her chest.

“But breakfast… my caffeine.”

“You are such an addict,” he laughed against her skin, groping fingers briefly turning to tickle her sides. She squealed, hand reaching back to pinch him into the side making him yelp in surprise.

“If you want to keep your wife happy you better not stand up the room service with our breakfast.”

With a heavy-hearted sigh and droopily hanging shoulders Colin relented. “Alright, alright. You’ll get your breakfast,” he promised her, pressing one last kiss against her temple before his arms slid from her frame.

He was already halfway out of the shower when she called to him once more. As he turned around lips pressed against his, the kiss broken only by the obnoxious knock against their hotel room door.

A short exchange with the friendly hotel employee congratulating him on their wedding later, Colin was wheeling the trolley filled with deliciously smelling breakfast into their hotel room.

“Sweetheart, breakfast is here!” 

It took her less than two seconds to open the door of the bathroom and step out. And Colin? He had to do a double take, eyes raking over her form. He had the most gorgeous wife, he was sure of it and right now she looked like a goddess there to bless his life.

His eyes traveled up from her feet over her bare legs to the hem of…

“Is that my shirt?” He asked her, lips forming into a grin. It had become their little game, their inside joke, this one question. One question that had started their journey and let them on the path to happiness.

“Hm, no. It’s my husbands.” She hummed, lips parting in a cheeky grin as her fingers ran along the button facing of his dress shirt. The one he’d worn yesterday during their ceremony and the following celebration. 

She’d buttoned only two buttons in front of her chest, barely enough to keep her covered, a teasing amount of skin still peeking through. The ends of the shirt brushed against her upper thighs as she crossed the room.

Colin snorted in amusement, eyes never leaving her. He watched her with hunger in his eyes, a hunger that wasn’t directed at the food in front of him.

“Your husbands?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Yep. He is the best.”

“He is?”

“Yeah, when he’s not taking forever with breakfast and keeping me from my morning caffeine at least.”

“Hey!” Colin laughed, reaching for her in playful anger. She squealed once more, jumping out of his reach, her laughter mixing with his.

“Okay, I take it back! I take it back, Colin!”

Still, he held her in his arms, hands grabbing her around her waist, the thin fabric of his shirt barely concealing the feel of her beneath his palms. Her arms wrapped around his neck, nimble fingers caressing the short hair at the back of his skull. A lazy grin settled on his lips as he took a long, appreciative look at her.

“You are beautiful,” he told her, leaning forward to capture her lips in another kiss. He’d never get enough of her, how she tasted. And as they parted once more, he glimpsed down, eyes peeking under his dress shirt. Groaning loudly, his hands slipped from her waist.

“Hurry up with your coffee, I’m hungry,” he moaned and she laughed.

“There’s an entire trolley full of food.”

“Not that kind of hungry.”

Colin lay on the couch in misery, the small fan before him blowing sadly through the room. More than moving some of the uncomfortably heated air through the room its power wouldn’t allow. There was no relief from the icky way he felt. 

It was hot, it was sticky, it was sweaty.

“When did the repair guy say again he’d be there?” He called out into the house, the effort almost taking too much energy from him as he poked out his tongue.

Even stripped down to his underwear he was barely standing the heat. Anything more simply too hot to wear, he was contemplating losing even the last fickle piece of clothing. Although it wouldn’t do much either.

“Tomorrow!” His wife's call came from somewhere in the house, but Colin was too lazy to track where from more closely.

“Tomorrow better be coming fast.” With a groan, he pushed off the coach, the floor beneath his feet disappointingly warm. More than sluggish steps he couldn’t muster as he trudged towards the kitchen. There he found her standing in front of the fridge.

“Cooling yourself off?” He asked, smirking as she was mostly hidden behind the opened door.

“I’m miserable,” she whined, her head peeking out from behind the door to look at him. Colin’s heart did a salto in his chest, a frown appearing on her lips immediately after.

“I’m sorry baby.” He was wishing he could aid her somehow, make her feel more comfortable. But alas Colin couldn’t even help himself feel more comfortable right now. It made him feel useless, the sensation heavy in his stomach even as he attempted to swallow it down.

She huffed, stepping back and closing the door before the fridge could start to beep. If only she could have it open forever, at least the fridge meant a small moment of alleviation. It was just their luck that the AC unit had to break during the height of summer.

“Colin this is all your fault,” she huffed again, pressing her hands to the small of her back as she swayed on the balls of her feet. Her complaints flew entirely over his head as Colin's eyes – and brain – zeroed in on one thing only. Everything else around him forgotten.

There it was, pulling all attention to it, the rather pronounced bump she was sporting, peeking out between the fabric of her shirt. He couldn’t believe it even now. Pregnant. Soon to be three, their family was going to add another person. She was growing a little him and her in there.

He wanted to fall to his knees and weep whenever the image hit him like it did now. He wanted to worship her, cradle her in his arms, carry her on his hands.

Mesmerized by the view, his fingers itched to touch her belly, to rub his hands all over it. He held back the urge, if only for the fact he knew it would make her feel even hotter than she was. Colin wasn’t about to make it even worse if he couldn’t help soothe her afterward. Then again, even with the AC working she’d been barely above feeling miserable before.

“You’ve almost got it baby. We’re on the last stretch.” It was a fickle reminder, a promise that it would be over sooner rather than later. But even that could only help so much when every minute felt like an eternity and every hour passed slower than the one before.

His eyes stayed focused on the continuously growing bump as she shifted, turning around to him and with her, the fabric around her body shifted too. It caught the edge of his attention, the glimpse of it startled him out of his focus as he eyed it closer for the first time.

“Is that my good dress shirt?” His brow raised in question and surprise. It was nothing new for her to wear his things but mostly she preferred his t-shirts over everything. And adding to it Colin was certain that shirt had been buried in the furthest corner of his wardrobe. He wasn’t even sure if it had seen the light of day since their wedding.

“Yeah,” she shrugged her shoulders, “I’m not going to cook in one of your shirts. It’s too warm and I’m miserable enough already.”

“I’m not complaining,” he snorted happily, now taking his time to eye her up and down.

“You’ll never get tired of ogling me, will you?”

“Nope.” Putting emphasis on the p Colin brightly grinned at her. “Not when you always look so smokin’ hot.” He couldn’t help it, he was fully attracted to her. And she wasn’t making it much easier for him, wearing only cotton panties and a tiny bralette beneath his unbuttoned shirt. Not to mention the changes in her body the pregnancy brought forth were an even bigger turn-on for him.

“Don’t even think of getting turned on right now. It’s too hot for that. If so, you can make do with your hand.” Her disgruntled words made him laugh and nod. 

“Come on, I have an idea to cool you down a little.”

“Is it a new, functioning AC unit?” She asked him full of undiluted hope, teeth coming down upon her bottom lip.

“Sorry baby.” He had to disappoint. Putting his hands on her shoulders and softly guiding her towards the living room Colin added, “You gotta make do with the fan until tomorrow. Now go sit down on the couch.”

She looked over her shoulder at him once more, her eyes searching for a cue. At last, she nodded, cutely waddling toward the living room. Colin already knew he’d miss this soon.

“It’s the ice cream man~” Colin’s sing-song voice carried over to her shortly after, her husband stepping into the living room moments later. In one hand he held two glasses, ice cubes sloshing in the liquid content, and in his other hand two packs of ice cream. Her heart leaped at the view of him. 

“You’re the best,” she murmured, gladly taking the ice cream from his hand and eagerly ripping the packaging open so she could get a taste of the sinfully cool treat. What had her hum more than the pleasure of the cool creamy sweetness on her lips was the cool press of glass that Colin held against her neck. Any other moment and she would have flinched away, now the groan that left her lips was almost obscene.

“You enjoying yourself?” He asked as he plopped down beside her, a mindful distance away. There was nothing more that she wanted than to cuddle into his side – besides a functioning AC maybe – but it was simply too warm.

“Oh yeah,” she muttered, too busy eating her ice cream to care much for anything else going on around her. So much in fact she pliantly let Colin maneuver her feet into his lap. Expertly he opened his own ice cream with the aid of his teeth.

“You and your skills,” she mused with a raise of her brow, “That’s what got us into this situation in the first place.” 

Colin snickered in amusement, shaking his head. He looked at her, eyes glinting in mischief as he took the first lick of his ice cream.

“Nah, I think you’re mistaken. Me not using this skill is what got us into this situation,” he answered cheekily, for a moment forgoing his own restraint to let his hand roam over her swollen middle. His heart always leaped in excitement whenever he felt the life growing there beneath his hand.

His darling wife eyed his hand, rolling her eyes at his words, and decided to enjoy her ice in peace. Colin kept his hand roaming a little more, disappointed when nothing roused beneath his hand and so he joined her in enjoying his ice cream.

Much later, after they’d eaten their ice cream and their glasses were almost empty, some last stubborn ice cubes refusing to melt in them, Colin had slouched down far enough on the couch to have pressed some tickling kisses against the edge of her rips and the swell of her bump. 

His glass, which he had mostly kept resting with his wrist on top of her feet, occasionally pressing the chilled glass against them to watch her sigh in relief, gave him an idea. 

One eye prying open as his ministrations had stopped, she watched him fish an ice cube out of the class.

A shiver ran down her spine at the ice-cold feel of the translucent cuboid that Colin pressed against her belly. If it weren’t feeling so nice she would scold him. It felt too good and so she instead watched him draw transparent shapes. They laughed in unison as someone at last stirred in her belly, movements and a kick becoming visible under her skin.

Colin felt bone-weary, ready-to-drop-dead tired. Exhaustion oozed from every pore of his being. With his eyes closed the greatest temptation right now was to simply fall asleep reclined on the couch where he sat. Work had been exhausting and while he enjoyed it with every ounce of his being there were moments he’d wished back to the time he’d been a struggling artist. Although if the choice were to arise he’d never actually go through with it. He’d never give up his life as it was, no way he��d ever leave them behind.

His lips curled upwards as he heard the shrill giggles coming closer, the shuffling feet in the hallway. Cracking one eye open, just in time, he watched his wife walk into the living room, their toddler propped on her hip.

With a grin powerful enough to split his face he opened his arms, holding them out in wanton for his baby. She laughed at him, rolling her eyes as he made grabby hands for both. Pointing towards him she diverted their little one's attention. Big blue eyes, the same as his, landed on him. In an instant that tiny little face split beaming, tiny limbs becoming wiggly.

“Alright, alright. You have no patience, just like your dad,” he heard her mutter to their little one in amusement. Both of them wiggled in unison, undivided happiness.

“Watch.” 

At first, Colin was confused, unsure what she meant. Quickly his confusion melted away, replaced by wonder and delight. Setting down the toddler, tiny hands securely clasped in her much bigger ones, Colin watched in amazement as plump little feet stumbled toward him. Clumsy yet determined their little one waddled over him, a look of concentration that had Colin’s heart grow exponentially.

And then those tiny hands, previously clasped in his wive’s, landed on his knees, grip surprisingly strong as he was used as a prop to stand. It was then that Colin noticed it.

“Is that my shirt?” he asked in surprise, looking up at his wife. How he’d missed the ginormous piece of fabric hanging from the much smaller frame of their toddler he had no idea. It was hilarious how the shirt swallowed the child almost entirely and it was as they cooed and looked around that he noticed the tie at their back, holding the shirt upon their frame. 

Colin snorted in amusement, watching as his wife plopped down beside him on the couch. In turn he leaned forward, hands shooting out to pull the toddler onto his lap in a surprise attack.

“It’s a little big don’t you think?” He teased with a raised brow, fingers tickling the little one. Their shrill laughter was music in his ears. Colin knew he’d never be able to get enough of this. These moments of pure delight, of happiness, and the best memories he’d ever be able to make.

“Only a little,” she agreed in amusement, fingers reaching out to fuss with their little ones' fringe. “Give it a couple of years and that shirt will fit just alright.”

Gasping in disagreement, Colin frowned and pulled the child against his chest, arms tightly wrapped around. His lips curled upwards at the happy giggles, fingers itching for another tickle attack. “How can you say that? No growing up, I won’t allow it!”

This in turn had her laugh and shake her head, “I don’t think that’s how it works Colin.”

For a short moment he looked actually stricken, brows furrowed in contemplation. The grin that spread across his face afterward meant nothing good. Suspicion arose in her as he leaned over to her, nose nuzzling her cheek before he pressed a kiss there.

“Guess we need another one then.”

“Another one?” She asked him in surprise. His eyes twinkled as he nodded, the look had her heart hammer in her chest and a warmth erupt in her stomach.

“Gotta make sure we always have one at that age, so we never run out of those moments.”

Laughter bubbled in her throat, crossing her lips in disbelief, “Let’s focus on one more first. It’s not you who has to endure it all for 9 months, dear husband.” 

But Colin didn’t listen, all he heard was one thing. “So that’s a yes?”

“Go sit down I’ll change ‘em,” Colin murmured into her ear, hand softly rubbing across her back as they trudged into their house. She sighed in thanks, first pressing a kiss onto their little one's cheek before Colin received a peck on the lips.

The second she plopped down on the couch, her shoes were off. Relief flooded her agitated toes, glad to be out of the tight confinements of her heels. It didn’t take long for Colin to return, still dressed dapperly as could be. He cleaned up exceptionally well and effortlessly, something she was ever jealous of. 

Their little one propped on his arm, he carried the little one holding their favorite toy. In the middle of the living room, he left the child down, which with an almost theatrically plop flopped down on their behind, playing by themselves.

Colin followed shortly after, plopping down equally theatrically beside her on the couch and with a yawn wrapped his arm around her. Happily, she snuggled against his side, head resting on his shoulder.

“It was fun,” she mused. Colin hummed, pressing a kiss onto her crown.

“It was, but also damn exhausting. Suddenly I understand the appeal of a childless wedding. No one can tell me that’s not to give all the poor parents a night off as much as it is for the couple.”

She snorted in agreement. While it had been fun attending their friends' wedding with their little one, it had been just as exhausting.

“How long do you think until they knock out?” 

“Could be minutes but could also be another hour or so.”

“Let’s hope for the first,” Colin murmured against her hair, pressing another kiss there as his thumbs caressed her side. 

There was no space between them left but that didn’t stop her from trying to snuggle even closer to her husband as she watched their little one play by themselves. As she did, she noticed something. Their little outfit had been replaced by nothing other than…

“Is that your shirt?” Colin beside her started to snicker, she could feel the proud grin practically against her temple.

“Took you long enough to notice,” amusement filled his voice as he taunted her, “You started something there baby.”

“I started it?”

“Yeah, you,” Colin emphasized the words by tapping his finger against her nose, winking at her, “I remember you putting my shirt on them and the rest is history.” 

He wasn’t entirely wrong. Ever since their little one would ask to wear the shirt again.

“I wasn’t about to deal with a tantrum by denying our overtired kiddo to wear the shirt instead of their jammies.”

That certainly had been a wise decision. They always could switch it out once they were fast asleep. One more thing Colin had inherited his firstborn. Sleeping like the dead.

“It was either the tee or my dress shirt.” Colin grinned at her as she snorted, shaking her head. “You know I’m pretty sure that’s also thanks to you.”

“Why me again?” She asked, curious about his reasoning. Colin shuffled a little, sinking further down into the plush sofa, and stretched out his legs. 

“Well, you basically wore nothing else for like half the pregnancy.”

“I don’t think that’s how genetics work Colin.” 

Colin shrugged his shoulders, grinning down at her. He didn’t care if it worked like that or not. It was his explanation and he would stick with it until she had a better one for him.

“You better have some extra ones or you can start saying farewell to them,” she hummed, pressing a kiss to his jaw, which confused and startled him. Turning to watch her, Colin raised both his brows. “What does that mean?” 

She smiled at him, softly and in what he liked to call her ‘totally smitten’ way, the way that always made his heartbeat add an extra step. He looked down, watching her finger draw little hearts across his chest as she hummed.

“It means,” with that she grabbed his hand, slowly guiding it towards her middle, “that you’re going to get what you asked for. A little sibling for the kiddo.”

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] Joker Out after performing at Sziget: This is a dream come true for us

This article was written by Katja Kaja Mejač and published on the 12th of August 2024 on the Njena.si website. Translated by @kurooscoffee, @chaosofsmarty and a member of JokerOutSubs, review by @weolucbasu, English proofreading by IG GBoleyn123.

The band 'Joker Out' performed on the main stage of the Sziget festival. Photo: VitaOrehek

The 30th edition of one of Europe's largest festivals, Sziget, is coming to an end today in the capital city of Hungary. On Thursday, the Slovenian band Joker Out also took to the main stage, impressing the gathered audience. After the concert, they gave an exclusive interview for the web page Njena.si as well.

Sziget festival, which has been attracting music lovers from all over the world for decades, was not only a venue for top-notch performances this year, but also the realisation of long-held dreams for the Slovenian band Joker Out. The Hungarian festival is one of the largest European festivals and also one of the most significant events in the music industry. With a diverse array of music for all tastes and other artistic programs that transform an island in the middle of the Danube into an island of freedom for almost a week, it creates an atmosphere which keeps everyone coming back. For Bojan, Kris, Jan, Jure, and Nace from Joker Out, who returned to the festival this year as performers, this performance undoubtedly represents the pinnacle of their career and a confirmation of their hard work and persistence.

Sharing the main stage with Kylie Minogue and Sam Smith

One of the greatest confirmations of their success is that the boys stepped onto the main festival stage at 5:30 PM on Thursday, sharing it indirectly with some of the biggest names in contemporary music, such as Halsey, Tom Odell, Kylie Minogue, Liam Gallagher, Sam Smith, Louis Tomlinson, Martin Garrix, Fred again, and others. The band’s lead singer, Bojan Cvjetićanin, proudly emphasises: "This is a dream come true for us. We have always viewed Sziget festival as the ultimate goal. When we were asked in an interview years ago how we would define success, we said back then that it would be the main stage at Sziget festival. I believe that at the time, in our minds, we didn't think that it would happen anytime soon. But we counted on it as a 'maybe, someday, in the future,' so this is all really crazy."

The unbelievable joy, to finally be able to perform on the stage where we watched our biggest musical idols when we were younger. The audience in front of the stage has more than exceeded our expectations and gave us excellent energy that will remain a pleasant memory.

The guitarist Kris Guštin added that even though the names performing on the main stage this year are, of course, very important in the world of music, the most important piece of information to them is who performed on stage in the same time slot as they did. Not only at this year's festival, but in previous years as well. "Because it's a more direct comparison," he explains, adding "when I was at Sziget 2018 as an attendee, I went to listen to my favourite band in the same time slot. We also found out that our friend from London, Lewis Capaldi performed in the same time slot when he first performed at Sziget. And yesterday (on Wednesday) Tom Odell, who is an outstanding musician. This is a beautiful and realistic display of our slot and what we managed to achieve."

Slovenian flags could be seen in the crowd. Photo: VitaOrehek

The boys made their dreams come true. Photo: VitaOrehek

Jan Peteh arrived at the festival already on Wednesday, because he wanted to see the shows of two performers live, otherwise the boys had to leave Budapest immediately after their show and head towards their other concert locations. "It was planned, because I wanted to see two, or rather one performer. L'Impératrice, who are currently my favourite band and Marc Rebillet, who is known because of his YouTube streams and I've got to say, I'm even more impressed than I thought I'd be and it was definitely worth it."

The boys had to set off quickly as they had new concerts waiting for them, but if they had been able to stay, they unanimously singled out a peformer they would've wished to see and hear live at this year's festival. "Liam Gallagher, for sure." Liam performed at the festival on Friday night, and is otherwise best known as the frontman of the former English rock band Oasis, with which he and his brother Noel made some of the greatest hits of the 90s. That includes the legendary song 'Wonderwall'. Kris also added that he would've liked to see today's performance of the English producer and DJ who makes music under the name 'Fred again..'. "I don't know him that well, but it would've been interesting to see him because a lot of people are into him."

Slovenian music sounded out in Budapest at one of the biggest European festivals. Photo: VitaOrehek

"The unbelievable joy, to finally be able to perform on the stage where we watched our biggest musical idols when we were younger." Photo: VitaOrehek

A new album and a different concept of concerts 

The musicians have some more performances ahead, and then they're promising to release a new album in the autumn. "The album, the release of our third studio album, which will also kind of open the season of the last quarter of this year. As far as concerts go, we will focus mostly on the Balkan region. We will also do a few standalone concerts in this area to promote the album," reveals Bojan, and adds that they will go back to their beginnings a little.

"There's a more intimate atmosphere in store again, as we will choose venues that might not be as big as we could've gone for, but this album will be our first new experience in a while of playing new material that we don't know very well either, and we would like to get to know it in a circle of people that we can feel more in touch with," he explains. The Jokers will reveal more information about the album and the performances that will accompany its release in the coming weeks.

[brakingpoint]

i missed your answer but happy day of the lord i'd love you to rank drivers by hotness because i think you're hilarious

you know what it's been like three days of the lord since you sent this but i've finally got bevved on one of them so let's go. i do not believe in rankings so i will instead be offering my commentary in current drivers championship standings order

max verstappen - i wont lie i know he's not everyone's cup of tea but i do find him quite sexy. do not understand the overwhelming tit hype on this website because this man would have to clench for his life to fill a victoria's secret training bra but it's fine because his beautiful autistic rizz and enchantingly bold nose make up for it. points deducted because i can tell his skincare routine is dish soap

lando norris - 2019 lando norris is like, i am honestly too old to have found him sexy if i'd been into f1 at the time bc even though we're only like 2/3 years apart in age he looks about 5 years younger than me. but i can completely get how if you were like 16 at the time he would seem like the cutest boy on the planet. like up all night era one direction vibes you know. unfortunately his 2024 styling with the weird desperate attempt at facial hair makes him look like a man who uses snapchat for evil

charles leclerc - objectively beautiful man crafted by the gods themselves but i can't honestly say he makes me feel anything carnally. i look at him as i would a marble sculpture in a museum

oscar piastri - he is not a bad looking guy but he does nothing for me. partially an age thing and partially his complete lack of rizz. he doesn't have time to be sexy he's got a job to do and that job is scaring the pants off lando norris every time he's within DRS range

carlos sainz - sometimes i think he is one of the top 10 sexiest men ever to exist on the planet and sometimes i think he looks like that really angry eagle off the muppets. he's got to work the right angles

lewis hamilton - much like charles leclerc he is someone who is so deeply objectively sexy that it almost reverts to me feeling nothing wait a second somebody just beamed psychic images of those interviews from like singapore 2019 where he had his hair up but with a couple bits framing his face so gorgeously and now i can't form words or think of anything else

george russell - the thing you have to understand is i went to oxford and i went clubbing a lot in oxford and so i have made out with a number of george russell lookalikes that is easily in the double figures. and i have zero regrets

sergio perez - he's not sexy he is like a cabbage patch doll whose nose i want to boop so fondly as i very gently whisper in his ear to DRIVE FUCKING FASTER

fernando alonso - i don't find him sexy but at the same time i can understand why lance stroll does

nico hulkenberg - i feel like you either have to be a really really straight woman or a really really gay european man to find him hot. and i am unfortunately neither

lance stroll - i'm refraining from answering until he grows his hair back out. at which point i will still refrain from answering but moreso for my own dignity

yuki tsunoda - we must not underestimate the rizz of a man so short he could be a back up dancer on sabrina carpenter's short 'n' sweet tour. i can unequivocally say i would

alex albon - you see physically he is not really my type but being engaged in conversation with him for more than five minutes would have me so horny i can barely breathe. i just love a dork yknow. i feel like i'd match with him on tinder by the strength of his bio even though his selfies are a bit shit and then i'd be actively drooling throughout the entire date

daniel ricciardo - in 2018, yes. in 2021 onwards, no. was he in some sort of reverse dorian grey situation where his portrait has gotten both hotter and attained better f1 results? who knows

pierre gasly - if he brings back the long swoopy hair with the frosted tips we are back in fucking business quite frankly

ollie bearman - i know he's technically an adult but he looks so young that even including him in this poll as an aside feels noncey to me

kevin magnussen - i have nothing to say. next

esteban ocon - he's tall, i suppose

franco colapinto - once again it's an ollie bearman situation where i can objectively acknowledge that he's a handsome lad but i've been following him since he was 19. i CANNOT see him that way.

zhou guanyu - i feel like his inherent swag is wasted in f1 i'd probably fancy him a lot more if he was some rando catwalk model i saw reblogged onto my dash precisely once when he was walking the runway in dior's latest collection at paris fashion week or something

logan sargeant (rip) - i really can't knock the people who fancy him because i feel like if you're american making out with 5000 guys who look just like him at college parties is my equivalent of making out with a ton of george russell impersonators at oxford. but thus i cannot see it due to our vastly different life experiences

valtteri bottas - he's hot in the way that like i walk into a gay bar and see the posters of men in leather jockstraps plastered around the place and go you know what this is not targeted to me but i can see why this is hugely titillating to the people these pictures were actually put up for. he's the closest to 1980s gay porn we have on this grid and i have to hugely respect that even if he's not my personal type

bonus liam lawson round - he looks like he was meant to debut in a boyband circa 2014 but accidentally got locked in a portaloo before their first recording session and they just kind of forgot about him there and he's just stumbled out into the daylight right now for the first time in 10 years and he's a little startled and hasn't learned about modern fashion yet but he's still kind of hot to people who would have desperately fancied luke from 5SOS were they above the age of seven at the time that band debuted

[callalillywrites]

Dream Home

Oh, look, it's my first solo Jake Jensen story, and ah, I'm so in love with this man. Everyone, please meet sweet, adorkable Boyfriend!Jake. I have at least one more story planned for him as part of the Horny Hoes Hootenanny that's being hosted by the wonderful @yenzys-lucky-charm and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork.

This fic is actually inspired by one of their Spooktacular Questions and is my gift to them for hosting such a fun event for all of us.

The home below ⬇️ was the option I picked for myself with Jake as well with this question, because man, is this the home I've always dreamed of having when I was a little girl and still dream about having today.

(Credit here)

Pairing: Boyfriend!Jake Jensen x Girlfriend!Reader (Fully established relationship)

Word Count: 3038

Summary: Jake's been away a lot lately which sucks, but you understand that these things happen. What you don't know is that Jake's been working on a surprise for you. If this surprise works, he'll also get a promotion he's been wanting for some time.

Warnings: None really. Fluff. So much fluff with the tiniest angst at the beginning. Jake Jensen is really your only warning here because he is one.

A/N: This story just poured out of me, and I don't regret anything. I can say that I tried my best to make Jake a bit more awkward than I wrote and write him in my Alpha/Beta/Omega verse. I hope I hit the mark a bit better this time around. All mistakes are my own.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

A smile graced your features as you noted the time.

5:00 PM. Friday.

The weekend has finally arrived.

While the week wasn’t a bad one by any means, you couldn’t help noting the release of work tension from your shoulders. It dropped further as you shut your work computer down and gathered your things.

Before you walked to your car, you shot Jake a text, telling him you were on your way home.

Oh, you couldn’t wait to see him most of all.

It’s been a rare sight to see your sweet boyfriend these last few weeks. Whenever you questioned him about his long or sudden absences, he’d tell you it was something work related. A special, hush-hush mission that he couldn’t get into with you then. He’d tell you when he could. He always did.

You could live with him keeping his secrets, but you were struggling with how little you’d seen him. Never had his previous missions been quite like this where he’d disappeared at the weirdest hours, or he’d drop conversations on the phone if he sensed you nearby.

If this had been the earlier days of your relationship, you might’ve suspected Jake of cheating. But if you’d learned anything about Jake Jensen, it was how utterly and deeply besotted he was with you. He worshipped you every chance he got. Spoiled you, too.

It helped that you did the same for him. One of your greatest pleasures was getting him to stutter or blush whenever you found the perfect little doodad for him.

No, if you were being honest, he’d gotten weird not long after you made a most heartbreaking discovery on your favorite home-browsing website.

You still recalled the day you learned your dream home had gone on the market. It was a cute Victorian-style home complete with turrets and gables. The intricate scrollwork and other details made it feel like a little girl’s dollhouse come to life. You could well imagine building a future and a family with Jake in this home. Holidays would be postcard-perfect and could even indulge both yours and Jake’s love for having the best dressed place throughout the year. You could even picture Jake getting into some type of decorating competition with the neighbors.

In a snap, the house went from For Sale to Pending Sale to Sold.

Your dream crumbled before your eyes.

Sure, you could always find a different house to build a home and family with Jake. But deep in your heart, you knew it would never be the same. It wouldn’t be like you imagined and even shared on occasion with Jake whenever he joined you on your home-browsing adventures.

You’d even made a game of it. Some days, you’d share ridiculous homes with outrageous price points or the gaudiest interiors you could find. Other days, you’d share cuter homes that more suited both yours and Jake’s needs.

Jake would do the same, especially during downtime on one of his missions. He swore it helped him stay focused on what he was fighting for. You. The life he wanted with you. The future he saw for himself because of you.

Neither of you had broached the topic of marriage, but you knew without a doubt Jake was it for you and you for him. A piece of paper and a pair of rings weren’t necessary, even if both your families hinted that they did.

Coming into your shared apartment, you called out, “I’m home.”

Silence answered.

You checked your phone to see Jake had read your text, but he hadn’t responded.

Another night spent alone as far as you could tell, but you refused to let it get you down. Dropping your stuff on the closest chair in your living room, you strode toward your bedroom and ensuite bathroom. If you were going to have the place to yourself, then you were going to make the most of it.

A long, hot shower with your favorite bath products was the first order of business. Nothing ever felt as good as washing away the workday, or more so, the work week. Well, maybe a hug from your cuddly boyfriend, but a nice shower worked, too.

Comfy clothes followed, which meant a raid of Jake’s side of the closet. If you couldn’t have him personally, then you were going to make sure you had his scent surrounding you. It didn’t take long to pull out your favorite of his graphic tees and a pair of his softest sweatpants. You completed your ensemble with some of the fuzzy socks he’d given you during one of your first sleepovers.

At least, your night was already looking a little better, even if you were without your greatest comfort.

What you didn’t count on was Jake standing in the bedroom doorway. It took everything in you not to yelp in surprise.

Your surprise soon shifted to concern when you took in Jake’s state. He was clearly out of breath and frankly a little frantic for your tastes. You couldn’t imagine what had happened to elicit such a reaction, but you were determined to find out.

“What’s wrong, Jakey?”

Jake shook his head while taking giant gulps of air. His glasses sat askew on his nose and his clothes had several streaks across them that had you more than a little alarmed. If you didn’t know better, you would say he’d just returned from the worst battlefield. It was impossible since he’d been home when you left for work that morning. Wasn’t it?

Your anxiety had you closing the distance between you, but Jake’s hand shot up, stalling you.

“Stay there, pumpkin,” he said between breaths. “I’m okay.”

It wasn’t lost on you he’d started using his fall-themed nickname for you or the date that day. Jake never forgot the first days of each season, shifting your nickname accordingly. But you had more pressing concerns at the moment, namely the state Jake came home in.

“You sure about that? Jake, you’re covered in…” you let your words trail off in the hopes he’d fill in the blank.

His hands plucked at his clothing while his face twisted in a grimace.

“It’s paint. I swear, pumpkin. Just let me clean up, then I’ve got a surprise for you. If you’re up for one anyway. I don’t want to presume after you just got off work. I’d totally understand if you don’t want to get out again, but I’d really like to show you what I’ve been working on. It can totally wait though I don’t know if I can keep this secret much longer. It’s been killing me, pumpkin, not telling you what I’ve been up to, and I just really, really want to show you.”

Knowing he’d keep going if you let him, you ignored his earlier request to stay back. With two steps, you erased the distance between you two and pressed your hand over Jake’s mouth. It took another second or two for his anxious, buzzing self to realize what you’d done and for him to stop his adorable rambling. Oh, how you adored this man and how flustered he could still get around you.

This close, you realized what you took as alarming concerns were a bit overblown. Sure, Jake was disheveled and shook, but that wasn’t so much from a fear response. No, it was nerves of a different kind, an excited kind. While he might appear to be battle-dirty, you could make out glitter under the paint. Whatever he’d been doing, it wasn’t mission-oriented or military, but it was something he’d been enthusiastically working on. Just for you, you realized. That eased your anxiety and brought a small smile to your lips.

When you were certain he wouldn’t start up again, you moved your hand and fixed his glasses. The smile he sent you had warmth blooming in your chest. Leaning in, you spotted the only clean patch of skin you could find near his jaw and pressed a kiss there. A soft sigh released from him at your gesture.

“Jakey, I’d love to go anywhere with you.” You pressed another kiss to the same patch of skin. “Show me your surprise.” One more kiss. “Please, my love.” A final kiss and a sweet smile to follow your words as you tilted your head to see him better.

You’d never get tired of how he practically melted at your words. His eyes softened behind his glasses, and he leaned into your space unmindful of his clothing. It was as if you’d just trusted him with one of the greatest treasures in the world.

In a way, you had.

He told you every chance he got how much your love was one of the greatest gifts he’d ever gotten, and he’d do anything to keep it. He swore he’d never make you regret giving him your love or your trust, and he’s always made good on that promise.

“I really want to kiss you,” he said in a rough voice.

You grinned.

As you rose on your tiptoes, his hands moved to your waist to keep you balanced. You couldn’t quite keep your smile from turning into a smirk when you leaned close enough to say, “Clean up first, studly, then you can have all the kisses you want.”

“You’re so cruel,” he groaned but acquiesced, “but you’re right.”

With his hands on your hips, you could only giggle as he swooped close and pressed a kiss to your cheek before letting you go. He dashed into the bathroom and hurried to clean up.

Ten minutes.

A new record for your military man.

Dressed in clean clothes, he found you in the kitchen where you’d been preparing a small snack. His arms wrapped around you from behind while his goatee tickled your neck. Several sweet kisses and teasing nips peppered your skin until you couldn’t take it any longer. You turned in his arms and fed him a few pieces of the fruit you chopped up. Each piece followed a peck to his lips.

“So, my studly love, what is this surprise you have for me?” you asked once the two of you finished off the fruit and cleaned up your workspace.

Jake, the menace, yawned and stretched. “I don’t know if I can stay awake now to show you. All that rushing around and then that soothing shower, I’m pretty exhausted, pumpkin.”

Not about to let him get away with hyping you up, you poked him in the stomach. “Oh, no, you don’t, mister. You promised me a surprise, and I want to see it. It’s not nice to tease.”

His brow arched at you then.

As if you didn’t tease him all the time, but you always ended your teasing with the sweetest rewards or surprises. You never left him hanging for long because you were always too giddy to see his reaction to seeing what you got him. His enthusiasm and adoration for everything you got always made it worth the time and effort you invested.

Sensing he wanted to play a bit though, you decided you could play, too.

Moving so you pressed yourself fully to his front, you bit back a grin when he instantly reacted to this new position. It never failed to boost your ego and your confidence in how quickly he reacted every time. His hands came back to your waist to keep you close as they always did.

“Name your price, my love,” you murmured near enough to his lips that you could feel each soft exhale. “What would you like more than anything else so I can earn my surprise?”

To your surprise, he dropped his teasing. His eyes softened though a look of such intent lurked in their depths that had you catching your breath. His nose brushed yours as he whispered, “I have everything I could possibly want right here, pumpkin. I love you so much, you know that?”

You nodded because you did know. It was something you’ve known since you practically met Jake. Sure, you two didn’t have the best first interaction. In fact, it’d been a real disaster, but it’d been what brought you two together. There was no regret in how everything played out from that night until this one.

The teasing glint returned a moment later as he added, “But I wouldn’t mind a proper kiss.”

This time, you rolled your eyes, but you indulged him. It’d been too long since you two had spent more than a few minutes together. You missed him so much, too. At least, it seemed that you wouldn’t be forced to miss him much longer after he finally revealed his surprise.

Just when the kiss would’ve turned into something a bit more, Jake pulled back, his glasses askew once more and maybe a bit foggy. Another boost of confidence at the way you could leave him in a bit of disarray with every make-out session.

He gulped in some air as he rasped, “We’ll come back to this later. It’s getting late, and your surprise is waiting. I don’t want you to miss out on the full effect.”

Within minutes, you two had gathered what you needed for the cooler night air, then headed towards Jake’s car. He helped you into the passenger seat and secured the belt around you. Not a second was wasted as he came around and hopped into the driver’s side, starting the car. His hand reached for yours and held it against his thigh like he always did.  

He drove you through the heart of the city and further until you hit the historical district. This was one of your favorite districts because the residents and small businesses alike really liked to go all out for the seasons and holidays. Every building and home were decorated to the nines whether it was spring or fall, Easter or Christmas.

Right then, all the homes and businesses had varying levels of fall decorations with a generous smattering of early Halloween décor mixed in. With that night still a few weeks away, most in this area had plenty of time to really go all out for the spooky season.

It wasn’t until Jake turned on a familiar street that you really perked up. The street name wasn’t lost on you. This was the same street that had your dream home on it.

“Where are we going, Jakey?” you asked, turning down Time Warp as it played on the radio.

His hand squeezed yours. “You’ll see, pumpkin. It’ll all make sense in a moment.”

When he pulled up to the exact home you’ve always dreamed about calling your own, you grew  even more confused. The sold sign had disappeared, but that wasn’t what got and kept your attention.

No, it was the fully decked out yard and porch. So many pumpkins, some carved and some not, covered almost every surface. Their sizes ranged from so tiny to almost comically large. Some, you even recognized as being similar to ones you and Jake had collected since moving in together a few years ago.

Past the pumpkins, you could make out a group of people spilling onto the porch. It took you a moment to realize who they were, but their presence didn’t really clear anything up. Why would the Losers be at your dream house? Did one of them buy it and wanted to share their new home with you and Jake? Was this Jake’s surprise?

Thoughts of Jake pulled your attention from your friends standing on the porch to your boyfriend.

You gasped when you turned your head.

While you’d been occupied with taking in everything, Jake had subtly unzipped his jacket and pulled it away so you could read the writing on his shirt.

This shirt is made of Husband Material.

In his trembling hand, he held up one of the most beautiful rings you’d ever seen. It was the very ring you’d seen one day while window shopping. It’d been an impulse to stop in the old antique shop. The ring had been an accidental find that had enraptured you from the moment you spotted it in the case.

When you’d gone back to see it once more, you’d found the shop owner had sold it. The older gentleman had given you what you’d thought to be a sympathetic look, but you realized now his look had held a note of mischief in it. The same mischief Jake’s expression could have whenever he was planning something really sweet for you.

His voice shook almost as much as his hand, but he managed to say, “Welcome to our new home, Mrs. Jensen.”

Tears sprang to your eyes as you took in everything.

“You did all this for me?”

He nodded. “I wanted you to have the house of your dreams, pumpkin. It’s the least you deserve for putting up with me and all my quirks. I’m not the easiest guy or the smoothest, but baby, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that I’m the right guy to love and cherish you if you’ll let me. Marry me?”

“How’s a girl supposed to turn down such a sweet proposal?” You fought back your tears while you brought your hands to his face and tugged him close to you. “I love all your quirks, Jakey, and I love you with all my heart. You are definitely the best man for the job. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

You followed up with your words with several sweet kisses, mindful of the Losers still standing on the porch. Somewhere between all the kisses, he managed to slip the ring on your finger, the fit perfect.

When you finally pulled back, you murmured, “Now, show me our new home so we can celebrate with our friends. Maybe after they leave, we can have a different kind of celebration, hm? One where we break in as many rooms as we can manage before we pass out? What do you say to that, Mr. Jensen?”

“I say,” he paused to unbuckle both your seat belts, then reach for the door handle on his side, “I should hurry up and lead the way, then, Mrs. Jensen.”

*****

Thank you for indulging me. I love Jake so much, and I hope to write more for him in the future. He deserves all the love he can get.

Let me know what you think.

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