#4AM decisions

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

realized earlier today that upon being given a set of keys to lock up at work (there are so many fucking doors the fuck) my lanyard was getting to they beat jesus with that kinda energy

[whatthefuckisasweep]

sighing and putting my head in my hands and crying and throwing up as i think about stanley uris and how he was the most terrified loser.

how he was deathly scared of being dirty, of not knowing where he was, of not being able to predict the world around him. how he was more scared of his world order being offended than anything else. how knowing that pennywise is real sent him down this spiral of 'what else can be real' and it broke him. but he STILL was the one who cut everyone's hand and made the oath. how bill constantly reminds him of his bird book and how it saved him. how he is more mentally fragile than eddie. how he's one of the only Losers who ever says "i can't do this", but he still gets to his feet and makes jokes right after he cries. stan uris, who, after Mike is like, "i just saw a killer bird!" goes, "what kind of bird?"

thinking about how we really don't know how his death went down so we don't know what he was thinking in those last moments. how he threw away his whole picturesque life because of a promise he made, and because he couldn't honor it. how he's such a private person, a quiet one, but he's so so so sharp and graceful. i wish they showed more of his fear in the movies, how much it fucked him up in the end.

stanley uris i think about you a lot.

[tonydaddingham]

that is quite the url .

the pathetic squirmy slimy little weasel man got to me. what else is new

[sleebyfrogs]

Okay so just imagine like. You’re just a little guy. You have no parents and your grandfather who raised you has always disparaged and disapproved of the very fact that you exist, for reasons utterly beyond your control. People enjoy your presence because you’re polite and charming the same way they enjoy flowers in spring, which is to say in passing and ultimately without any real connection.

And then you meet this guy who is just like. obsessed with you. He always wants to be around you and he derives true joy from it without you having to say anything funny or clever or lie for politeness’ sake. He creates art that he loves of you and because of you. Indirectly, you are suddenly able to put joy and beauty into the world, anything into the world, because you inspire him. You never imagined you would leave any kind of footprint the way things were before, because nothing you had was meaningful or lasting. And he flatters you dreadfully, he tells you how incredibly beautiful you are, and whether you realise it or not, you can feel that at least part of this value that he has found in you, that he has given you, comes from that beauty.

And then one day you meet his friend, who is older than you and cooler than you and a lord, and so witty and eloquent that you struggle just trying to keep track of whatever the fuck he’s talking about (and he always sounds like he knows everything about it), and he’s been this guy’s friend much longer than you have, and he also compliments you on your beauty and so seemingly that is the only quality of any worth that you possess, right? And then he waxes on and on about how it’s the only thing worth having and explains that what you have is actually incredibly valuable and fragile and precious, and that you are inevitably going to lose it and there’s nothing you can do. And also he says all this while you’re having your gay awakening because he’s sweet-talking you in a way you’ve never experienced and it’s uhhhhh it’s something. So then while you’re having a complete existential crisis over this your mutual friend calls you over to show you the most exquisite painting you’ve ever seen in your life and it’s of you. You didn’t know you could be so beautiful to anyone, you didn’t know he could create anything so beautiful, you didn’t know beauty on this level could even be captured in art. And that’s how he sees you, continually, without you having to make any effort to please him? Just to be yourself is enough to have inspired this incredible thing? You might cry. And then you realise he created it here and now and of you because on this particular day of June, you are twenty years old, and young, and pretty, and once you age out of that, you will lose the one thing anyone has ever valued in you, and surely also his interest, and you will be alone again, and worthy of nothing and no one. And because you’re also twenty years old and privileged and inexperienced you’ve never learned any capacity for nuanced thoughts and say things that are incredibly rash and stupid and regrettable.

So I’m not saying Dorian did nothing wrong but I am saying in his position I’d definitely have been a vain and terrified idiot too

[vyrantium]

Maybe there was a lesson there to learn But I never got that far And waiting to find out might cost me my mind.

{ playlist 1, 2 } • { template }

[spider-man-2o99]

people on here continue to be Wrong abt mig en masse and graphic design continues to be my Passion so. banner for when He Would Not Say That

[sluttyfranzkafka]

damn kind of had a crazy week as just some villager who lives in a place so small that its name alone would dox me

[kasirose]

so it’s like 4am, we’re sleep deprived and my friend decided to look at spicy malec gifs and we were laughing about how thirsty Alec is so I said he was even thirstier in the books and uhhhhhh I may have introduced her to the first time scene in TRSOM (where he threatens to jump out a window) and suddenly she’s drawing spicy fanart XD

[kiynania]

So here's something I thought abt Friday

What if their was an another and WAY more disturbing way to merge with your element

What if when an elemental master starts to lose their mind and drive into insanity there's like stages of what's going to happen to their element. At first, their element starts to act out, but slowly like once every 5 days, then if the elemental master's mental health has done nothing but deteriorate, then I'm the element just starts lashing out and complete going after the stuff and ppl around the elemental master as a way to WARN the elemental master to stop and get the help they need. But if nothing happens then the element slowly starts to merge with the elemental master and they won't realize it until the transformation is more than halfway done and by then, there's nothing they can do abt it besides let it happen unwillingly. And once the merging part is completely finished, the elemental master starts to slowly lose their memories bc it's the only thing the element can do to put the elemental master out of their misery. Once their memories are completely erased, they're officially one with their element and don't question it at all. Unlike Nya, who did manage to separate herself from her element, the elemental master that went insane CANNOT separate from their element or remember anything from their past, no matter what happens, they're just stuck there for the rest of eternity.

[vmpirevnom]

Adrienne: why would Gilbert do this?

Clotilde: it's because he has the AU gene, otherwise known as, "the audacity"

[justanotherwastedyouth]

Dating someone with a very different circadian rhythm is challenging I'll tell you what.

[aria0fgold]

Learning how to draw the back view with Soleil 101.

You may be wondering, are those eyes on their body? Well-- Don't worry about it--

[mistletien]

it's 5am and I am awake

time to look at my WoL

[fagsaporta]

moving to @antlerknives

[fox-guardian]

ya ever just. regret.

[autogeneity]

I am going to pursue. the tattoo.