#47. FOURTY DAMN SEVEN. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

puprlebrotato · 11 months ago

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Ozpin is an ageless motherfluxxer: An rant essay

I have no idea how to start this but let's go-

So beyond most of the huntsmen/tress (why were'nt they just called hunters RT what the hell-) students, we have no Brothersdamn clue how old most characters in RWBY are.

Most peopole wouldn't care about that because they're sensible

If you couldn't tell, I am not most people

So one day, I decided to finally try mark out how old some characters are, using, of all people, "(Formerly Dr)unkle" Qrow Branwen

If we start at his first year at Beacon, he would (probaly) be 17, since that's the standard age most initiates are (ignoring the possblity of him being older or younger since he pulled a Blake and joined despite being a criminal so he probably didn't give a damn about the age reqiurement).

Flashforward to graduation, when he and STRQ finish their fourth year. Qrow should roughly 20 or 21 now.

From here on it's kinda iffy but, assuming Tai adn Raven have Yang right then, Qrow should, in Vol. 1, be 38.

For a refresher, out current math is 17 (First Year) + 4 (Academy Years) + 17 (Yang's life).

Now, what does this have to do wiht Ozpin looking nohting like his goddamn age?

Enter Peter. Fricking. Port.

According to the man himself, Port was a TA (teacher's assistant) during Qrow's first year. Now the math for this is even MORE iffy than the "Tai and Raven bang upon leaving beacon" math, but hear me out.

IF we work backwards, Port has his career of Huntsmaning beforeing being hired by Beacon, entering as a TA. Low balling at 4 years of experince, Port is likely 25 when Qrow is 17 (which also means Port is 8 years older than tai which makes the whole joking in his home thingy odd but also funny but whatever) [also the math of this is 4 years of exp + 4 years of beacon + 17 years leading to entering beacon]. Adding Qrow's four years and Yang's age, Port is 47 as of Vol. 1.

That's... okay. Personally he looks older to me, but this is just a 'low ball' estimate.

Now, with all of this figured out

What in the ever loving FUCK do I do with Ozpin.

This is VERY speculative, so take this with a micro-fucking-scopic amount of salt, BUT

Oz is (probably [notice I've been saying that a lot?]) headmaster when Port is a TA and Qrow's a first year. Now, one would assume Ozpin is WAY older than Port. HOWEVER, Ozpin is also said to be the youngest headmaster in Beacon's history, so who fucking knows how old his wizard of oz ass is. For clarity's sake, let's say he's Port's age. That's probably wrong, but let's just say so because why not.

If you're paying attetnion, that would mean in Vol. 1 Ozpin is 47. Fourty-fucking-seven.

Do me a favor and look up a picture of ozpin for me. Ignoring his hair, look at his face. Look at him.

there is no way in hell ozpin is forty fucking seven

I know people who are entering the prime of their life, hell I'm fsamily with people are well past the prime of life. THAT MAN IS NOT ENTERING HIS FIFTIES.

If that's fifty then Maria must be over a damn 100 I just- I dont- AGH-

[Please wait: having ragful technical dificulties]

Now, this could just be a design thing. I mean, come on. It's RWBY. It's an american anime, no one ever looks their freakin' age in anime.

Or, Ozpin and his aura and immortal magic BS have done what no skincare company in the world can do and has achieved Ryan Reynolds levels of not aging.

that is all, I needed to get this out of my head. If you're reading this as of posting, words of the immortal Samuel Jackson, "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

#I made this at 2 am instead of sleeping #I apologize if this is incomprehensible #rwby #ozpin #qrow branwen #I need a drink ironically and unironically #this timeline makes no goddamn sense #also this means if Cloqwork is true Qrow has a big age difference kink #have fun having that idea in your head fuck you have a wonderful day/night bye #I need a nap

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mechagalaxy · 8 years ago

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Sten Hugo Hiller - KOTM Forty with Eman Eliforp, (955029)

Mountain Climbing Mecha Combat

Brought to you by ANN, A Newschannel for Mecha Combat

Highlighting the August 3321 Fourty

Including interview with Eman Eliforp, (955029) div 7 Gold winner

Another climb on K2, 40 tons this time. Snooze company was just left on the top to try and hold the position. This would be the third event in a row they were called up, and fatigue, both in pilots and machines were evident. To my dismay, the brackets had changed again, now the opponents could be up to 100 levels above me. Paulzilla ordered me to the compound to do some paperwork. I think those piles of paperwork is harder to master than the climbs. When I returned at T-6 minutes I had been displaced to top foothill, and I saw to my dismay that Paulzilla had claimed the top. Now, as to wether Snooze Company could have defeated his forces, the answer is possibly. But one of the rules we of Star League follow is not to attack a fellow clanmember in the Climbs. So I sat waiting for someone to dethrone him so I could have a shot at the top. But the light flashed and it was over. Those who held top positions and claimed Gold, Nephilax and tickets to more challenging climbs were:

Div 1 (19 players): Fabio Favaro, Juggernaut (11m,47s) Div 2 (13 players): Paul Knight, Star League (4h,24m) Div 3 (22 players): Bob Schlomer, HF: Mecha Pirates (16h,1m) Div 4 (34 players): Caitlyn Mainer, Star League (11m,20s) Div 5 (23 players): Joshua Bourne, Northwind Dragons (1d,9h) Div 6 (29 players): Duncan Cecil Goetz, Death`s Diciples (8h,7m) Div 7 (22 players): Eman Eliforp, Dinochrome Brigade (22s) Div 8 (29 players): Ann Kristin Hiller, today and tomorrow(50m,23s) Div 9 (34 players): Leann Robb, Heroes Ranger Raccoons (seconds) Div 10 (23 players): HongKngPhooey, Battle Force Delta (22h,53m) Div 11 (13 players): manaland, Knights of Chaos (13s) Div 12 (12 players): Dick_Dastardly, Politically Incorrect (4h,19m)

Total players: 273, Total Medals 173 (of 180 possible)

Again a Climb where participation could have been higher, Div 2, 11 and 12 were not filled up this time and a total of seven bronzes went unclaimed.

The Climb was a short one, according to my timepiece it lasted about nine minutes. Three Golds changed hands during that time, all of them the last half minute. On the other hand, six golds were held for over four hours, one of them for over a day. Best Clan this time was Star League who claimed two Golds. There were no unaligned winners this time, but both Fabio Favaro and manaland managed to repeat their Gold performance from the welterweight.

This time, a happy first time winner, beaming with pride waved me trough security. Ignoring their pleas of getting out of the area he sat down at a nearby pub and bought me some beers . Scanning my entries for Eman Eliforp (#955029) I started the interview.

Sten Hugo Hiller First entry I can find of you in the archives was when you in `06 was part of Fuster Cluck in the CW. Since then you have changed clan quite a few times, although from `10 you have been mostly in IPG clans. For those of our readers that is unfamiliar with the term, perhaps you could explain what IPG stands for?

Eman Eliforp It's `Independent Players Group'. There were a bunch of clans, mostly started by Stefano Zaccaria (AKA Bot ZAC) based on Mad Scientist & Merlino e Morgana, that were swapping members for faction wars. I suggested that we should get a faction identifieer for our clans like AFF, BHG etc, and IPG was what won the vote.

Sten Hugo Hiller Thanks for the explanation. Unlike most warriors you started in the CWs and it was not before April `15 you took your first KOTM medal in the Fire and Ice tournament. Since then you have joined quite a few climbs, but this was your first Gold?

Eman Eliforp Yes, and it was a very fortunate one. The end time for this contest was starting from 7AM local time & I woke with about 10 minutes to spare. And it's lucky I did, as the contest ended at about 7.07. I was in 3rd when I logged in, attacked the leader successfully, and it was over. I'd previously slept in & missed the end of a couple.

Sten Hugo Hiller Yes, about half of the Golds were held for 4 hours plus this time. You have participated in some challenging climbs in your career. Do you prefer the unlimited or the limited ones?

Eman Eliforp I do better with limited ones. At my level in unlimited there are many players with a lot of better Huge & BFM mechs. My Silver medals have been in either this class (1), welterweight (3), Frontline Fight or Point Mech Panic. But I have also maintained a full squad of Namtars & Anzus for their respective classes. In the recent Reverse Ratman I was in Division 7 which was really an 80 ton max contest, but I am ready for Division 6 & it's `all but 2 must be Namtars' rule.

Sten Hugo Hiller That sounds like a lot of mechs, many have mentioned a lack of ferrite and crystals, how are you doing there?

Eman Eliforp I've been hitting the circuit quite a bit, where the recent change to 3X crystal per XP used has helped. I currently have about 4.5K, but within the last month that has been down to 0. Unlike most players it was always bioptics I'd been short of. At 1 point I had over 200K ferrite but under 200 bioptics. They're now around 10K & 8K. I'm buying & selling a lot of Fury lasers.

Sten Hugo Hiller Ah, yes the bulkbuy option, many have wished for just a plain conversion, but... Now, if you could design your own KOTM, what would you set as rules?

Eman Eliforp I'd been thinking that I'd like to see a Rainbow tournament where lower divisions have to run light mechs, next divisions run mediums etc. up to the top divisions running BFMs

Sten Hugo Hiller Interesting idea, from your lips to the Developers ears. Do you have any guesses or wishes for the upcoming clan war, as to format and villain?

Eman Eliforp As 1 of the main co-ordinators of IPG & having alts leading 2 of their clans, I'm not fond of the re-shuffling required for the squad Wars. I didn't mind it for the Faction Wars, as they didn't happen all that often, but it's been difficult for us to get our lineups settle in the last few months. It makes planning a bit of a challenge

Sten Hugo Hiller Ah, the challenges and responsibilities of command, How happy I am to avoid those... As a commander and pilot of seniority and accomplishments, I am sure there are many of our readers who will be interested in your recomendations when it comes to mechs, weapons and equipment. Do you have any favorites?

Eman Eliforp Late last year I won a Frigis & Skraig in a raid. As an ice specialist I love my Frigis & it's got me past some difficult opponents. It's gotten me silver in a couple Point Mech Panics. In fact much of the 150 niodes we get for claiming the `Win KOTM Gold' quest will be spent on buying a 2nd one. I just need to buy & sell a few more Fury Lasers to get the other resources I need for it. Megazomes & Smilodons are popular due to their in-built crit-kill, as well as their versitality. There's so much equipment available in that middleweight division that they can be used for almost anything. Crit-kill weapons are always nice of course. Even all my Achilles Beams are fitted to every formation I field except for Point Mech Panic, where there's bigger crit-kill stuff filling the slots. But lately I've started spending more niodes on equipment. It's starting to make a noticable difference.

Sten Hugo Hiller Thank you for these tips. Now security seem ready to throw us into the brig unless we move. any final words?

Eman Eliforp Damn Novum security. They trashed my mech & locked me up by mistake yesterday. When I started this profile, I decided from the start that it would be an ice specialist. This was because when I scouted mechs up to 75 tons, at the time there were more crystal mechs for ice & missile than the other weapons & I already had a missile specialist profile. So I put a lot of SP into ice damage which is currently at 15.33%, and decided to make 40 ton max my speciality & bought a lot of Niftels. I have 3 Buccaneers in support but always wanted a Nephilax to help the squad. Happily I have now achieved this. What was particularly satisfying about this win was A) beating a full formation of Nephilaxs, & The fact that they belonged to Jack Wade & 1 of them he got by bumping me out of 1st place with 1 minute & 23 seconds to go while in the previous Welterweight contest while I was out of battles & hatoraides. I have been running in the 40 ton max class in the wars for about 6 months now and have got a lot of defensive wins. 1 reason for this is that there are not a lot of players that have a full field of 40 ton mechs. In 1 of the recent KOTMs I was seeing (& beating) players about 20 levels above me that had to use some 20 ton mechs to fill their formation. But with my ice damage, I'm slowly building up a collection of Wargs to play in 55 ton max. I have 3 Cindrons to go with them, but only 1 is fully levelled. The other 2 are only L1 & L2. And I have a LOT of Freons for 70 ton max. They're naturally my main workhorse until I get to the level to buy Jottuns.

And we left the pub to get back to our respective commands. Any fresh winner can try to contact me after the

Upcoming event: Missile Command Bring whatever mechs you want, but take into considerations that in this event missiles deal 80% more damage. Swapping some weapons and Shields from the normal formation might be a good idea, unless you have a dedicated missile formation saved.

Event ends April 13 between 0100 and 0200 New York Time

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