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T, (fluff with very light spice) 3.4k
Summary:
Buck’s hand snapped tight around his wrist. “Don’t do that.” “Buck, come on, it’s honestly delicious,” Eddie said. “No, I mean, don’t … suck on your fingers like that.”
Buck and Eddie disagree about the merits of raw cake batter ... and it leads somewhere unexpected (and sexy 😉)
Taglist:
@shortsighted-owl @disasterbuck @serensational @blue-winged-boy @emotionallyencumbered
@gnoeltop @inell @verdimundi @darkrose6578 @littleblackraincloudofcourse
@deliriousbean @idealuk @oldfangirl81 @ronordmann @shealwaysreads
@queenofthesydrianites @marvelgirl9326 @graendoll @sofa-king-lame
Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed 🩷💜💙
#4 down 1 to go#novelember#novelember 2024#911 abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#buck x eddie#fanfic#ao3 writer
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I finished shiraishis route today and cried so hard i gave myself a headache, fuck i love him so much
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huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.
(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)
it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.
love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)
such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?
one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.
follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.
through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#illario#dragon age meta#*sighs and climbs back down into the dellamorte family feels and horror mines yet again right after breakfast* it's a living#when you're barely even getting to play the game because your brain is a boiling cauldron of feelings that need to be processed#between every time you can take anything new in fhsakjhfsda#head in hands. we do need to get him out of there is the thing. I think we kind of do need to do that. in some kind of way#(I do feel that the only thing that might drive him more than the fear of disappointing caterina is the fear of losing rook again#when romanced. so you know. there's every reason to hope. he has a solid support network of godkilling maniacs now#and some spaces he can go to to like. think and experience things that aren't all in her shadow. I think he'll get there)#lucanis greatest fears: 4) harding's cooking#3/2 shared place): bellara's fun little 'oooh but what if *worst thing that could ever happen to you illario fakeout betrayal and death#scenario* would that be fucked up or WHAT. (god.) 3/2 shared place) truly disappointing caterina and telling her no. 1) tfw no rook :'(
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his tsundere swag is funny to me
#my art#fields of mistria#march fom#fom march#farmer fom#fom farmer#fields of mistria fanart#fom fanart#comic#fom#finally took a break from playing to draw something#i still need like 1 bug and 4 mineshaft furniture items to feel like i can put the game down until the next patch#also i know i was going for more of a witch clothing style with my farmboy but my sister sold me on the cowboy hat#also march isn't who i'm going for romantically#but uooooh i want to be frienemies with this dude so bad
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irminsul incarnate
#genshin impact#nahida#my art#GRAHHHH ITS DONEEEEEEEEE#13 hours on this one babyyyy ‼️‼️‼️#im REALLY proud of how it turned outbtho this project has RLY been pushing me#and keeping me sane during my super busy/stressful past few weeks lol#1 down 4 to go!!!!#we r winning!#id in alt
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"Was it worth it????"
"To see the look on your face? Absolutely."
#trolls#trolls 3#trolls band together#brozone#jd ex husband#trolls comic#4 down .. 1 to go#and thats the story!!!! thats why Otto is around all the time#they do still pay him and he can stay in the house and he gets a grocery budget and stuff#mostly for the kids#hes good with kids though surprisingly#he has 2 younger siblings#i keep forgetting to mention them 😜#and a mom#no dad though. AS IF THAT WASNT OBVIOUS#trolls oc#trolls oc otto#john dory#jd trolls#john dory trolls#i had this comic idea weeks ago and just now got around to finishing it
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third elimination is tomorrow -eeeeek!!
#ts4#ts4 gameplay#the sims 4#gp2#gp 2#gameplay2#game play 2#the sims 4 edit#ts4 edit#pennys bc#this is going so fast!!!#we're now down the the final 8#i will probably keep eliminating 2 sims until we're at the top 4#then I'll do 1 sim eliminations#guys i really don't know who she'll end up with#there is so many cute storylines going on#there is even a possibility for a throple!!#what will penny dooooooooo
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11 Days Of Deco Sims - Day 1
To kick off this event I have a very specific request to fill! Background Dancer's in athletic wear, and versions of them hyping each other up! The backup dancers set also comes with all the dancing poses! Reference pictures for all the sims are under the cut!
Backup Dancers comes with:
26 Sims, 4 swatches each
1 posepack
mediafire l patreon
Hype Up Backup Dancers comes with:
10 Sims, 4 swatches each
mediafire l patreon
Backup Dancers:
Hype Up Backup Dancers:
-
If you appreciate what I do, I have a Ko-Fi.
Come back tomorrow for another set of sims! 🦇
#ts4cc#sims 4 cc#sims 4 deco sims#ts4 deco sims#ts4 poses#sims 4 poses#11 days of decos 2024#madebycoffee#specifically this was a request by a beloved mutual mwuah mwuah#1 day down 10 to go!
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feelin kinda sad so eating an obscene amount of pasta
#YukiPri rambles#it's nothing serious#just have had a stream of unfortunate disappointments#nothing major and each time i'm like well ok that could have been worse and i'm glad it wasn't#but the cumulative result is just me kinda feeling droopy inside despite trying to continue lookin chipper outside#'wilted' i think is best descriptor for me rn#trying to tell myself that retail therapy isn't the answer here#In case folks are curious#the disappointments are:#1) dad was in a car accident and no one was hurt but gave me a huge scare#2) was given a day off at work in exchange for working a weekend and was looking forward to both#but they asked me last minute nevermind come in instead and i had to cancel all the plans i'd made and couldn't reschedule#3) movie i wanted to see on said day off is no longer playing in local theaters so it's either convince mum to drive an hour or give up#4) had an afternoon tea planned with mum and her friends and was looking forward to it for a month and only eating out this month#had reservations and outfit picked out and everything#but then a few days before landlord scheduled repairs for that day and wouldn't listen when we said we had plans#so i stayed home so mum could go and i'm glad she could go but sad#5) went to work this morning and there'd been a flood in the office from a customer leaving the bathroom sink running#and the torrent of water came down on my desk specifically ruining all of my books/personal stuff#i got reimbursed but it's just really sad bc some of those things were free/gifts that i can't get back and i hate throwing out books#especially ones i never got to read but they were completely drenched through and unsalvageable...#6) had an outing planned this weekend i was really looking forward to but we probably can't go bc weather is bad#i think there were a few others but that's most of the big ones#i am wilted and just want to curl up and not move
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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Master manipulator vs Master manipulator
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#a-qing#The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing#They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope#Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses?#A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot'#Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population.#a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent.#Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually.#through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known?#The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan#So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help#Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative?#What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia)#Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back.#(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)
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sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH
bonus
#pokemon#trainer lyra#rival silver#soulsilvershipping#timeskip tag#bao beis#i had so much more planned. but alas. college.#ANYWAY. sss my everything. ohh. always thinking abt them.#this is very obviously lyra's room! all the pink! massive bed to fit all her pokemon! the champion paycheck gets you that much at least#and plants!!! no. 1 horticulturist in johto#she's living somewhere around the base of mt silver... decently close to the league and her hometown#so i like to imagine her with a huge greenhouse so she can take care of plants even in the harsher climate#meanwhile silver has one of those decrepit malelivingspace flats in viridian. he's making it work.#i can only see sss properly moving in together liiiike in their late 20s#after they get to enjoy young adult independence for a while#but before they permanently settle down they should go on silly adventures again... just once. or twice. or#as much as i like to entertain the thought of them being homebodies i think they'd rather spend their lives travelling haha#since silver never got to fully experience it as a kid on the run#being a wanted man and all#and lyra is itching for the getaway#they deserve to be in nature and responsibility-free and *frothing at the mouth*#BTW i put my whole wyvussy into that wall decor#lisia signed poster... rosa's resemblance as mei(!!!) in the totoro one... bell tower + whirl island pics //#pokemon constellations... and those gen 4 mail templates that no one actually used. probably from dawn. champion penpals :]#i debated doing a lance poster because celebrity idol funny but nah she'd bin that immediately after moving out#oh yeah the drawover was um. inspired by the nonebinary neochamp fit. so happy for my son.#i'm glad i managed to finish the big piece in time otherwise i would've just posted that LOL can you imagine#okey bye happy sss day
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Happy birthday Jure Maček, Joker Out's daredevil kitty drummer~ 🥁😺
Gang in honour of kitty drummer's birthday here's my video recording of him doing the "Ne Bi Smel" drum solo in Den Haag which became the ref for this painting~
#jure maček#joker out#le art of darkcreamz95#HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY DRUMMER#the little sunshine#the dearest sunflower#the sweet daredevil#4 boys down 1 more to go for next month#oh ya its may 25 here in malaysia
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Christian Horner attempting to survive the Ricciardo PR disaster by ducking and diving and throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks is hilarious. He has now landed on using geriatric comedian Helmut Marko as an excuse for what went on 😂
#sir be so serious#sure maybe helmut wanted the junior team to stay a juniour team#which is fair#because you can’t just be a rehab for drivers who can’t go anywhere else that’s not the point of a sister team#but we also all know that the problem is Perez#you will not make it out alive if you don’t admit that#you had 5 drivers for 4 seats and 1 of them wasn’t going down without dismantling the whole of formula 1 and a gp#we get it#just own it#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#Daniel ricciardo
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The day of Suzume's first blind date had finally arrived and the person she met was Naoki Ito! During their walk to the restaurant, Suzume tried to engage in his conversations and asked questions about him. Naoki was happy to be given this much attention and felt attached to Suzume already. "He's a bit clingy..." Suzume said in her head then she heard a girl giggle behind them "Otosan?" His kids were there.
She had no idea what was happening to Naoki's marriage, but his kids seemed cheerful about both their parents and she got the impression he was happily married. In the nicest way possible she said it was best to end the date and stay friends (really she wanted to get out of there). And that was how the blind date was over before it even started 🫣
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#tjol legacy#tjolc#tjolc gen 1#suzume miyazawa#naoki ito#kiyoshi ito#nanami ito#i thought of this and wanted to play it out#yknow with the ito family description with megumi who knows whats happening to lead to naoki going on a blind date idkkk#the kids following him on his blind date without him knowing 😂😂#rly i wanna get the blind dates over and done with its just a smallpart#baking posts will most likely come after shes gone on some dates#(might not actually do that many)#and igave townies makeovers#im not gonna use ea versions AHAHAHA and i aged kiyoshi/nanami down to make more sense for my story! theyre so cute!!!#also shes 26 and i had to come up with something to match that clingy first impression. like hows he clingy????????
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eulogy
#i was fully going to just wrangle my way through life for another 39 years when my friend said to me:#you are gay and we want you to submit art for the pride art show. but i hasn’t drawn at all since last year so i made a new comic from scr#i was also having one of the worst times of my life all of the past week but every night after sobbing into a friends shoulder or wtv#i’d sit down and draw. and then today i locked myself in the basement for 5#hours and now he is finished. trans allegory or whatever#happy pride#world is horrible so hold the people you love close#i am trying . succeeding? not really but definitely trying#i have gone now through the 5 stages of grief. 1) eat food 2) eat food 3) hit rock 4) hit rock 5) give up#i Give Up. i give up by living my life without giving a fuck#which is like. actually giving down. or taking away down#idk anyway#i hope you’re well i’m HANGING ON BY A THREAD. BUT A GOOD THREAD#and to my lgbsbfk homies: i love you#my art
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