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part 2 to the trans fips story, this time ft. zeke and rhun
Zeke starrte perplex auf deren Fund, welchen dey gerade gemacht hat, im Bad des jüngsten der Brüder. Warum hatte er…?
Nachdem Klaus dey über mehrere Tagen hinweg so gut wie stündlich genervt hatte, dey sollte doch bitte mal nach Fips schauen, da dieser ihm seit einiger Zeit nicht mehr auf jegliche Art geantwortet hat, hatte Zeke schlussendlich nachgegeben.
Zwar hatte dey absolut keinerlei Interesse, was denn schon wieder für ein Streit zwischen deren Brüdern abging, da es dey auch nicht wirklich etwas anging, und hatte erst versucht Klaus zu überzeugen doch selber vorbeizuschauen, jedoch war dieser, laut eigener Aussage, zu sehr im Weihnachtsstress um sich Zeit dafür zu nehmen, und Rhun war ebenfalls zu beschäftigt, weshalb Zeke nun dazu verdonnert wurde.
Fauler Sack. So besorgt war er dann wieder auch nicht, was?
Eigentlich hätte Zeke auch nie zugestimmt, da dey normalerweise Besseres zu tun hatte, aber nach einer unnötig langen Diskussion gab dey schließlich nach. Warum auch die Zeit mit Klaus’ Dickköpfigkeit verschwenden? Es brachte doch eh nichts.
Genervt machte Zeke sich also spät in der Nacht auf den Weg zu dem jüngsten der Brüder. Wonach sollte dey überhaupt schauen? Ob Fips noch lebt? Bock darauf, ihn auszuquetschen, warum er sich nicht meldet, hatte Zeke jetzt nicht unbedingt. War schließlich auch nicht deren Angelegenheit. Dey selbst hatte sich in all den Jahren vielleicht ein oder zwei Mal bei Fips gemeldet, ihr Kontakt miteinander war schon immer etwas brüchig.
Dass Klaus sich regelmäßig bei ihm meldete, war für Zeke keine wirklich große Überraschung. Immerhin bekam dey selbst öfters Nachrichten von den Älteren. Und, ganz ehrlich, wenn Fips einfach aus Genervtheit nicht mehr antwortete, hätte Zeke ihn auch gut verstehen können.
Als dey bei Fips ankamen, lag dieser schon im Bett am Schlafen. Wenig verwunderlich, da es schon extrem spät in der Nacht war. Zeke beobachtete ihn eine kurze Zeit lang beim Schlafen, fragte sich erneut wonach dey überhaupt suchte, bevor dey mit den Schultern zuckte und den Raum verließ.
Jep. Lebt noch. Job erledigt.
Da Zeke ohnehin den langen Weg schon für sinnlos fand, dachte dey sich, dey könnte sich zumindest noch etwas zu essen mitnehmen. Jetzt, wo Zeke schon hier war. Damit es sich zumindest etwas lohnen würde.
Zu deren Enttäuschung, jedoch nicht Überraschung, war der Großteil, den dey fand einfach nur Karotten. Karotten und Instant Ramen. Was auch sonst? Wenig begeistert von den ganzen Möhren, begann Zeke die Regale nach etwas brauchbarem zu durchsuchen, passte dabei jedoch nicht ganz auf wo dey hingriff und ließ versehentlich ein paar Eier auf den Küchenboden fallen. Scheiße.
Das war jetzt nicht so geplant.
Fips hatte einiges an Chaos in seinem Haus, zumindest in letzter Zeit, da er noch nie unbedingt Meister der Ordnung war, und Zeke bezweifelte, es würde groß auffallen, wenn dey einfach wieder gegangen wären, jedoch wollte dey mal kein komplett rücksichtsloser Idiot sein. Zudem war es ja deren eigener Müll, und wenigsten den könnte Zeke schon wegräumen. Ausnahmsweise.
Also sah dey sich um, diesmal auf der Suche nach Tüchern zum aufwischen, doch etwas wie eine Küchenrolle fand dey nicht. Leicht genervt ging Zeke ins Bad, um dort die Suche nach Papiertüchern fortzusetzen. Doch erneut, Fehlanzeige.
Hatte der Typ denn ernsthaft nichts da? Kann doch nicht sein.
Auf die Idee, einfach Toilettenpapier zu nutzen, kam Zeke in dem Moment nicht, weshalb dey begann, jegliche Schubladen im Bad zu öffnen. Wirklich viel war in ihnen nicht, und der meiste Krimskrams weckte auch kein großes Interesse in deren. An einem anderen Tag hätte Zeke vielleicht aus Neugier sich alles genauer angeschaut, um möglicherweise etwas zum drüber lustig machen zu finden. Aber momentan war Zeke nur danach, einfach wieder zu verschwinden.
Eine Sache weckte jedoch schlussendlich doch deren Aufmerksamkeit. In einer der untersten Schubladen war nämlich im Grunde genommen nichts, außer einer Sache. Verbände. Und zwar einige.
Was? Wofür zum Teufel würde Fips denn Verbände brauchen? Geschweige denn, gleich so viele?
Wenn er sich irgendwie verletzt, konnte er sich doch wieder heilen? Komisch.
Sollte dey aber erstmal nicht weiter kümmern. War, immernoch, nicht deren Angelegenheit, weshalb Zeke extrem froh war, endlich Taschentücher zu finden, die Eier vom Boden zu wischen und abzuhauen.
----
Im Nachhinein schienen die ganzen Verbände Zeke doch etwas mehr zu verunsichern, als dey gerne zugegeben hätte. Denn gerade mal am nächsten Tag fing dey erneut an, den Sinn dieser zu hinterfragen.
Waren sie nur aus Prinzip da? Als Vorsichtsmaßnahme? Falls doch mal etwas passieren sollte?
Aber warum dann gleich so viele, als würde Fips sie regelrecht lagern. Als würde er sie regelmäßig brauchen und benutzen. Aber wofür?
Hatte er Verletzungen? Woher denn? Dey bezweifelte, dass es etwas in Fips’ Leben gab, von dem dieser lang anhaltende Verletzungen davontrug. Noch mal, wenn er verletzt war, konnte er sich doch selbst heilen.
Natürlich machte Zeke sich keine Sorgen oder so. Warum sollte dey auch? Vorallem nicht um Fips. Als ob. Und selbst wenn, was natürlich niemals der Fall sein wird, würde Zeke es nicht laut aussprechen.
Dass dey in der darauffolgenden Woche ab und zu nachts vorbeikam, war selbstverständlich ebenfalls rein zufällig. Nur um sicherzugehen, dass Fips gescheit schläft, und um deren Job zu erledigen. Reine Routine. Nicht um nach offensichtlichen, potenziellen Verletzungen oder Wunden zu schauen, die Fips möglicherweise haben könnte.
Welche er übrigens nicht hatte. Und das, obwohl der Verband trotzdem von Besuch zu Besuch weniger zu werden schien.
Was Zeke natürlich auch nur rein zufällig aufgefallen ist. Und nicht, weil dey jedes mal absichtlich nachsah. Das wäre ja absurd. Warum sollte es dey auch interessieren? Sorgen machte sich Zeke sicher nicht. Mm. Absolut nicht.
Das dey wenige Tage später Rhun einen Besuch abstatteten hatte ebenfalls nichts damit zu tun. Zeke wollte einfach nur mal wieder mit xier plaudern, wie es denn so bei Rhun läuft und wie es xier geht und so. Dass Fips dabei als Thema aufkam war zwar wirklich nicht geplant gewesen, doch lehnte Zeke es auch nicht ab.
Neben den üblichen kleinen Sticheleien und Witzen, erwähnte dey ganz nebenbei etwas über die Verbände die dey gefunden hatte, was von Rhun jedoch nicht ganz so lässig abgewunken wurde.
“Bandagen? Für welchen Zweck denn?”
Zeke zuckte nur mit den Schultern.
“Seh ich aus, als hätte ich ‘ne Ahnung? Was weiß ich denn, was der Hase wieder anstellt.”
Rhun rollte mit den Augen und schwieg für einen Moment, doch an xiers Gesichtsausdruck konnte Zeke erkennen, dass xier gerade ungefähr hundert mögliche Antworten durchging.
“Hat er irgendwelche Verletzungen?” fragte Minty plötzlich, und erst dann realisierten die beiden Brüder, dass sie scheinbar schon länger bei ihnen stand und mitgehört hat. Rhun starrte sie kurz grimmig an, als wollte xier ihr mitteilen, dass sie sich nicht einmischen sollte, schüttelte danach aber leicht den Kopf.
Minty ließ sich nicht von dem Blick abschrecken, sondern blieb weiter standhaft neben den beiden Wächtern stehen und überlegte wohl ebenfalls.
“Ist er trans?”
Zeke und Rhun tauschten beide sofort einen raschen, verwirrten Blick aus.
Ja, war er. Aber Minty konnte nichts davon wissen. Woher denn? Es war eins der Themen, die so gut wie nie thematisiert wurden, geschweige denn, vor anderen Leuten. Und die paar Male, die Fips sie getroffen hat, war es unwahrscheinlich, dass sie es von ihm weiß. Fips hatte es noch nie jemandem von sich aus erzählt, außer seinen Brüdern. Damals, im Kloster noch.
Und vorallem, warum spricht sie das ausgerechnet jetzt an? Weiß sie etwas darüber? Hatte sie eine Vermutung?
“Warum fragst du?” hakte Rhun nach und blickte sie an mit reiner Kuriosität und Neugier, allerdings auch mit leichtem Zögern. Misstrauen schon fast.
“Naja, viele Transmänner benutzen Verbände, um sie sich um die Brust zu wickeln. Damit diese flach wirkt. Ist aber extrem gefährlich,” erklärte Minty, ignorierte Rhuns Augen die sie immer noch durchbohrten und entweder tat sie nur so als bemerkte sie die Reaktionen der anderen nicht, oder sie bekam die ernsthafte Verwirrung wirklich nicht mit.
“Was weißt du darüber?” fragte Rhun erneut, diesmal schon etwas drängender. Als hätte das Wort ‘gefährlich’ etwas in xier ausgelöst, eine ganz neue Stufe der Neugier, allerdings war auch kaum merklich Sorge in xiers Blick. Zumindest soweit Zeke es beurteilen konnte.
Minty wirkte ein wenig perplex, woher denn dieses plötzliche Interesse von der Zahnfee kam, gab ihre Antwort jedoch relativ schnell. “Äh, also, wenn die Verbände zu eng sind, können sie einem das Atem erschweren oder sogar blockieren. Und die Haut an sich wird anfälliger für blaue Flecken oder Infektionen im schlimmsten Fall. Außerdem kann es sein, dass-”
Zu diesem Zeitpunkt hörte Zeke ihr schon nicht mehr zu. Dieses rücksichtslose Verhalten klang extrem nach Fips. Einfach zu handeln, ohne sich groß Gedanken über die Konsequenzen zu machen. Typisch.
Und obwohl Zeke gerne so getan hätte, als wäre es dey egal und einfach das Thema zu wechseln, konnte dey nicht leugnen, dass irgendein merkwürdiges Gefühl in deren aufkam. Warum würde Fips so etwas machen? Dass er häufiger unüberlegte und spontane Entscheidungen traf, die im Nachhinein extrem rücksichtslos waren, war nichts Neues.
Aber das war nicht unüberlegt. Wenn man den regelrechten Vorrat an Verbänden bedenkt, könnte man meinen, dass Fips das geplant haben muss, dass er das voll und ganz absichtlich tat.
Aber wieso? Warum würde er denn freiwillig seinen Körper so beschädigen? Und das auch noch wissentlich?
Zeke schüttelte den Kopf. Sollte Gedanken wollte dey gar nicht haben. Sollte Fips doch machen, was er will. Wird schon sehen, was er davon hat. Rhun schien ebenfalls in Gedanken versunken zu sein, da xier mehrfach von Minty gerufen werden musste, um auf sie zu reagieren.
“Zahnfee? Alles okay bei dir?”
Xier starrte sie für wenige Augenblicke wieder intensiv an, bevor Minty aufgefordert wurde, sich wieder um ihre Aufgaben zu kümmern, wobei sie natürlich schnell gehorchte und verschwand. Sobald sie wieder allein standen, beziehungsweise saßen in Zekes Fall, murmelte Rhun, “Ich muss mit ihm sprechen.”
Obwohl Zeke sich relativ sicher war, dass xier mehr mit sich selbst geredet hat, antwortete dey trotzdem. “Ach was. Um den Hasen musste dir doch keine Sorgen machen. Wer sagt denn, dass das was deine Helferin gesagt hat, überhaupt eintrifft?”
“Ob es der Fall ist oder nicht, die Möglichkeit besteht dennoch. Und wenn da wirklich etwas dran ist, bedeutet das nichts Gutes.”
Zeke rollte nur mit den Augen und ließ sich etwas weiter im Sessel zurücklehnen, was von deren Bruder mit einem weiteren, grimmigen Blick kommentiert wurde.
“Selbst wenn, der kann sich doch selbst heilen. Wo ist das Problem?”
“Das Problem, mein lieber Bruder, ist warum Fips das überhaupt macht. Es muss ja einen Grund geben. Nicht mal er ist so rücksichtslos.”
Den Witz der Zeke auf der Zunge lag, dass er vielleicht heimlich Masochist geworden ist, brachte dey lieber nicht. Einen Streit mit Rhun wollte dey jetzt nicht unbedingt erreichen.
“Ugh… Okayyyy. Was hast du vor?”
----
Als Fips aufwachte mitten in der Nacht, war es um ihn herum noch dunkel, bis auf das leichte Mondlicht, das durch eins der Fenster schien. Warum genau war er aufgewacht? Ausgeschlafen war er sicher nicht, da er sich vor gerade mal zwei oder drei Stunden hingelegt hatte. Es war auch nicht so, als hätte er einen Alptraum gehabt, der ihn vom Schlafen abhielt.
Es fühlte sich an, als hätte ihn etwas, oder jemand, absichtlich aus dem Schlaf gerissen.
Zwar wollte Fips einfach nur sich umdrehen und weiterschlafen, doch als er leise Geräusche, die wie Schritte klangen, knapp neben ihm hörte, öffnete er vorsichtig die Augen. Es war gerade so hell, dass seine Augen sich so gut wie direkt an die Helligkeit gewöhnten.
Das Erste was er sah, war das Gesicht eines seiner Brüder.
Zeke?!
“Was zum Fick?!”
Fips rutschte schnell weg von deren, und wäre Zeke nicht von sich aus direkt weg gesprungen, hätte Fips dey wahrscheinlich aus Reflex geschlagen.
“Dir auch guten Morgen,” meinte Zeke gelassen, wartete nicht einmal auf die Reaktion des Anderen bevor dey die Türklinke unterdrückte um die Tür zu öffnen.
“Was zum Teufel machst du hier?!” schrie Fips ihn fast an, immer noch verdattert und verwirrt. Seine Frage wurde gekonnt ignoriert, als Zeke sich schon bereit machte zu gehen. “Bin nur der Weck-Service. Viel Spaß euch,” antwortete dey, wobei der letzte Satz wohl an jemanden gerichtet war, der sich noch außerhalb von Fips' Sichtfeld befand.
Bevor er etwas erwidern konnte, war Zeke bereits verschwunden, und um die ganze Situation noch komischer zu machen, tauchte Rhun an deren Stelle auf.
“Und was machst du jetzt hier? Wollt ihr mich verarschen?” Langsam wurde Fips genervt. War das alles ein Traum? Schlief er noch? Was wollten die beiden denn jetzt von ihm? Dass Klaus ab und zu mal vorbeikam, ohne jeglichen Grund oder Ankündigung, war er schon gewohnt. Aber die zwei? Die meldeten sich doch sonst nie bei ihm.
“Auch schön dich wieder zu sehen,” sagte Rhun in kompletter Gelassenheit, und stellte sich neben das Bett, um den Anderen besser betrachten zu können.
Fips rollte nur mit den Augen. “Wenn das irgend ‘ne blöde Verarsche sein soll, hab ich da jetzt echt keinen Bock drauf.”
“Keine Verarsche. Keine Tricks. Ich wollte mit dir reden,” stellte Rhun fest, und bevor Fips widersprechen konnte holte xier etwas hinter xiers Rücken hervor. Verbände.
Wo zum Teufel hatte xier die her?? War xier seine Sachen durchgegangen? Was wollte xier damit? Oh fuck. Hatte Rhun etwas mitbekommen? Bitte nicht. Xier konnte doch eh nicht wissen, wofür er sie brauchte. Dann wiederum, was sollte er xier denn sagen? Wenn Rhun den Vorrat gesehen hat, wird xier ihm definitiv Fragen stellen. Oh Gott, nein.
Auch wenn Fips nichts sagte, um sein Erstaunen und seine Überraschung so gut es geht zu verbergen, konnte Rhun trotzdem die Bedeutung seiner geweiteten Augen deuten. Etwas so gut für seinen Geschmack. Rhun gab ihm einige Momente, um selbst ein Gespräch anzufangen oder eine Erklärung abzuliefern, an welchen Fips jedoch offensichtlich kein Interesse hatte.
“Wofür brauchst du die Bandagen?” fragte xier ruhig.
Fips gab seinem Brüder die erste Antwort die ihm einfiel, die auch einigermaßen logisch klang. “Wofür braucht man denn Bandagen? Schon mal was von Schnitten oder Prellungen gehört?”
“Ausgerechnet du brauchst doch dafür keine Verbände. Und wir wissen beide, dass du lieber Wunden durch Magie heilst, statt sie natürlich verheilen zu lassen.”
Shit. Hatte xier recht.
“Ja und? Ne Notation kann nie schaden,” versuchte Fips abzuwinken. Leider ohne großen Erfolg.
“Ich bezweifle, dass ein halbes Dutzend an Verbandsrollen als ‘Notration’ zählt.” Rhun hob leicht eine Augenbraue, wechselte aber schnell zurück zu einem neutralen Gesichtsausdruck. Fips beruhigen tat dies allerdings nicht.
“Warum juckt dich das überhaupt? Kümmer dich doch um deinen eigenen Kram,” kam von ihm zurück und er verschränkte die Arme, seinen Kopf lehnte er an die Wand hinter sich.
“Fips, ich frage dich das nicht, um dich zu ärgern. Ich möchte nur sichergehen, dass du keinen Mist anstellst. Sag mir bitte, warum du diese Bandagen brauchst.”
“Geht dich ‘n Scheißdreck an.”
Rhun starrte ihn nur böse an, was als Reaktion mehr als reichte.
Für eine Weile weigerte Fips sich zu antworten und saß nur stillschweigend da. Warum zum Teufel mussten seine Brüder ihn um diese Uhrzeit schon auf die Nerven gehen. Basierend auf Rhuns erwartungsvollen Blick, wusste xier doch eh schon, was xier hören wollte. Warum sollte Fips es dann noch aussprechen? Als wollte xier ihn foltern…
“Aus… privaten Gründen,” murmelte er irgendwann, und seine Augen wandte sich ab von Rhun, nicht mehr fähig xiers Blicks standzuhalten. Und erneut ein Zeichen, wie schwach er doch eigentlich war. Hatte er denn vor überhaupt irgendwas keine Angst?!
“Haben diese ‘privaten Gründe’ rein zufällig etwas mit dem Abflachen deiner Brust zu tun?” fragte xier nach und Fips hätte xier gerne geschlagen. Warum fragte Rhun ihn überhaupt?
“Wenn du's eh schon weißt, frag doch nicht nach.”
“Ich möchte deine Bestätigung hören, um keine unnötigen Vermutungen aufzustellen.”
Mit zusammen gebissenen Zähnen und eng gekreuzten Armen gab Fips eventuell nach. Wenn auch extrem widerwillig und nicht im gewünschten Wortlaut.
“Und wenn's so wäre? Warum interessiert's dich?”
Rhuns Blick wurde sofort sanfter, und hätte Fips hingeschaut, hätte er möglicherweise sogar Anzeichen von Sorge erkannt.
“Warum sollte es mich nicht interessieren? Du bist immer noch mein Bruder und ich möchte nicht, dass du dich selbst diesen Schmerzen unterziehst,” fing xier an zu erklären.
“Mir geht's gut, keine Sorge,” wies Fips xier schroff zurück und warf endlich mal die Decke von seinem Körper, da es langsam warm wurde. Ob wegen der Temperatur oder aus in ihm brennender Scham, konnte er nicht definieren.
Rhun setzte sich langsam ans Ende seines Bettes, um Fips genügend Platz zu lassen und ihm trotzdem vorsichtig näher zu kommen. “Hat dir schon mal jemand gesagt, dass du kein guter Lügner bist?”
Normalerweise hätte der leicht amüsierte Ton seines Bruders Fips ebenfalls zum Schmunzeln gebracht, aber in dem Moment war ihm einfach nicht danach. Er wollte über dieses Thema nicht reden. Weder mit Rhun, noch mit irgendwem anders. Und der Fakt, dass Rhun auch noch so interessiert tat, machte es nicht besser. Die hatten sich doch noch nie für ihn groß interessiert, warum jetzt auf einmal?
“Musst nicht einen auf möchtegern besorgt machen, mir geht's wirklich okay.”
Doch Rhun blieb standhaft, und je länger xier ihn so intensiv ansah, desto mehr kam Fips das Gefühl, dass Rhuns Sorge möglicherweise doch echt sein könnte.
“Geht es dir wirklich gut? Wenn alles in Ordnung wäre, würdest du nicht willentlich leiden,” stellte Rhun fest, und setzte xiers Erklärung fort, nachdem Fips’ Gesichtsausdruck leicht verwirrt wurde. “Deinen Rippen und Lungen geht es sicherlich nicht gut, mit wie viel Druck du auf sie ausübst.”
“Mir passiert schon nichts, ich trag schon keine heftigen Schäden davon.”
“Dass du dich selber heilen kannst, weiß ich. Was ich nicht weiß ist, warum du dass überhaupt machst.”
Fips rollte erneut mit den Augen, der Drang, sich diesem Gespräch zu entziehen, hatte ihn nicht verlassen, war aber nicht mehr ganz so präsent. Seine Priorität war gerade, Rhun abzuwimmeln, um seine Ruhe zu bekommen.
“Was glaubst du, warum ich als Mann meine Brüste verdecken will?" fragte er nach, eine Spur Ironie in seiner Stimme, als wäre die Beantwortung dieser Frage so oder so unnötig und offensichtlich.
“Deswegen musst du dich allerdings nicht rund um die Uhr mit diesen schädlichen Methoden quälen. Zu lange die Verbände zu tragen ist extrem schädlich, außerdem gibt es ohnehin bessere Optionen.”
Fips traute seiner Stimme nicht, nicht zu brechen, weshalb er erneut nur schwieg. Aus welchem Grund auch immer, schien der Gedanke an seinen Körper allein, ihm schon zuschaffen zu machen. War ja klar, dass Rhun da keinerlei Mitgefühl oder Empathie hat.
Verhätschelt oder bemitleidet zu werden, wollte Fips erst recht nicht, aber diese komplette Emotionslosigkeit und Ignoranz fühlte sich einfach nur nach Abweisung an. Als wäre es xier scheißegal. Dass xier mehr auf Logik als auf Gefühle fokussiert war, war ihm ja bekannt. Schließlich war das schon immer so. Und dennoch wirkte es in diesem Moment besonders kalt.
Entweder das, oder Fips selbst war zu emotional. Konnte natürlich auch gut möglich sein. Ein weiterer Aspekt, den Fips an sich nicht leiden konnte, war, dass er seine Gefühle oft nicht so unter Kontrolle hatte, wie er es gerne hätte. Aber auch dafür schien er zu schwach zu sein. Konnte er denn irgendwas?
Und obwohl er jegliche Andeutungen von Tränen direkt weg geblinzelt hat, in dem Moment, in dem seine Augen anfingen zu brennen, schien Rhun doch irgendwie etwas bemerkt zu haben. Xiers Stimme wurde sanfter als zuvor, fast vorsichtig.
“Fips, wenn dir das so zu schaffen macht, hättest du uns Bescheid sagen sollen.”
“Wieso? Damit ihr euch drüber lustig machen könnt? Ne danke,” blaffte er xier angespannt an.
“Das hätten wir nicht getan. Nicht bei so einem ernsten Thema.”
Natürlich wusste Rhun auch, dass dieses Gerede eher Wunschdenken als der Realität entsprach, da Zeke sich herzlich wenig kümmerte, wann Witze und Kommentare angebracht sind und wann nicht. Allerdings wusste Rhun auch, dass es zumindest von xiers Seite aus, ein ehrliches Geständnis war.
Nach ein paar weiteren Minuten, die in drückender Stille vergingen, forderte Rhun xiers jüngsten Bruder auf, “Komm. Nimm bitte die Verbände ab.”
“Wieso sollte ich?” kam von Fips zurück.
“Deine Rippen haben eine Pause verdient. Und wenn du sie nicht abnimmst, nehm ich sie dir eigenhändig ab.”
Allein, dass Rhun ihm diese ‘Drohung’ machte, zeigte, dass xier es ernst meinte. Und xier würde nicht davor zurückscheuen, die eben genannten Worten in die Tat umzusetzen, so viel war sicher.
Fips seufzte, gab sich aber geschlagen. Überraschend schnell, für seine Verhältnisse. Auf einen Streit hatte er keine Lust. Dafür war er dann doch noch zu müde.
“...Guck weg,” murmelte er nur, achtete genau darauf, dass Rhun auch ja wegsah, bevor er sich die Verbände langsam abnahm. Und Rhun hatte Recht, sein Brustkorb fühlte sich tatsächlich direkt besser an. Kam wohl davon, diesen unzählige Jahre am Stück durchgehend viel zu eng zusammen zu schnüren.
Rhun war mindestens genauso perplex wie Fips selbst, über die Geschwindigkeit seines Einverständnisses, war aber respektvoll und schaute mit nach unten gerichtetem Blick auf xiers eigene Schuhe, bis keinerlei Bewegung mehr von Fips bemerkbar war.
Und tatsächlich hatte er den Verband abgenommen. Der lag nämlich nun vor ihm auf der Decke und wurde mit Verachtung von ihm angestarrt. Wenn Blicke töten könnten, wäre der jetzt definitiv tot, obwohl es nur ein Gegenstand war. Fips Blick hätte alles und jeden umgebracht, so sicher war Rhun sich.
Bevor Fips auf dumme Ideen kommen konnte, nahm xier die Bandagen schnell an sich und stopfte sie in eine von xiers Taschen.
“Besser?”
“Mh.”
Körperlich war es eine Art Erleichterung, klar. Allein seine Atemwege waren freier und er konnte sich auch um einiges leichter bewegen. Aber gleichzeitig spürte Fips jetzt auch wieder dieses ätzende Gewicht an seiner Brust, das er seit Jahrhunderten verabscheut.
Rhun meinte es nur gut, und das wusste er auch. Aber das hieß nicht, dass er sich nicht unwohl fühlte. In seinen Augen wirkte seine Brust so viel bemerkbarer und Fips hätte sich am liebsten unter der Decke versteckt, um nicht von irgendwem gesehen zu werden.
“Falls es dich glücklich macht, in meinen Augen wirst du immer mein Bruder sein. Egal wie du aussiehst,” versuchte Rhun ihn aufzumuntern. Und dieses Mal schien es zu wirken, denn irgendwie schafften es diese Worte, ein Lächeln auf Fips’ Lippen zu bringen. Mehr als das Wort ‘Danke’ stumm zu formen, brachte sein Mund allerdings nicht heraus.
“Trotzdem bitte ich dich, mehr Rücksicht auf deinen Körper zu nehmen. Diese Verbände sind sowieso schädlich, den ganzen Tag damit herumzulaufen ist keine gute Idee. Wenn du reden willst, kannst du immer zu mir kommen. Wenn ich aber nochmal mitbekomme, dass du diese Dinger nicht rechtzeitig abnimmst, sorg ich persönlich dafür, dass du's bereust. Oder ich hetze Klaus auf dich.”
Kurzzeitig war Fips davon überzeugt gewesen, wenn Rhun und Zeke schon da sind, wäre Klaus auch keine Überraschung mehr. Allerdings war er nicht da, was Fips daraufhin deutete, dass ihm überhaupt nicht Bescheid gesagt wurde. Wahrscheinlich wollte Rhun in Ruhe mit ihm sprechen, und Klaus war jetzt nicht unbedingt die Ruhe in Person.
“Ich pass schon auf,” antwortete Fips, und obwohl seine Stimmlage nach wie vor leicht genervt klang, verriet seine Körpersprache, dass er nicht mehr ernsthaft genervt war. Nur, dass er dieses Gespräch ungern weiterführen wollte, was Rhun jedoch einigermaßen verstehen konnte.
----
Als Zeke deren irgendwann zu ihnen ins Schlafzimmer gesellt und prompt auf Fips’ Bett fallen gelassen hatte, legte dey einen Arm um Fips’ Schultern um ihn zu deren zu ziehen und ihm grob die Haare zu verwuscheln. Zwar waren deren Handlungen nicht gerade sanft, aber ausnahmsweise auch mal nicht von Hass oder Sticheleien getrieben.
“Na, kleiner Bruder?”
Fips versuchte relativ schnell sich aus Zekes Griff zu befreien, welcher ihn aber nicht losließ und einfach näher zog.
“Was für ‘kleiner’? Ich bin größer als du,” gab er dey als Antwort.
“Ja und? Ich bin älter.”
Zeke war schon immer stolz gewesen, diese paar Minuten älter zu sein als Fips. Somit war dey nämlich nicht ganz der Jüngste. Der kleinste von allen fünf war dey trotzdem.
“Ne Nervensäge, das bist du.”
“Tja. Immerhin bin ich der Einzige von uns, der eine Frau hat.”
“Wie viel du der gezahlt hast, das die bei dir bleibt, ist mir immer noch rätselhaft…”
Als er das halb beleidigte Gesicht seines Bruders sah, konnte Fips nicht anders, als zu grinsen.
“Hey!”
#jcu#wächter#osterhase (jcu)#osterhase#fips#sandmann (jcu)#sandmann#zeke#zahnfee (jcu)#zahnfee#rhun#minty#(yes she's there too !)#sorry for the lack of klaus in this#i wanted to add him but considering i was already at around 3k words and wanted to finally finish this i couldnt really find a way to inclu#de him#sorry klaus#</33#(ended up being 4k words btw)#maybe i could write more trans fips stuff and give him a proper role in the next one ??#in case you guys are interested ??#requests/ideas are still welcomed#(even if i might not write them immediately bc i'm lazy)#poor fips#but also#at least he gets some kind of comfort in this#also posted on ao3 btw !
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day 2 of TF Rare Pairing Fest: "Head Injury" ft. Minimus/Whirl, typical Lost Light shenanigans, and Ratchet having a terrible day
@tfrarepairing
Ratchet’s day was going—well, not great, because having to perform an emergency surgery to remove a basketball from Misfire’s fuel tank due to him being stupid enough to swallow it on a dare was the opposite of great. But on the Lost Light scale of non-life-threatening to a Brainstorm-level emergency, his day was going fairly well.
And then Tailgate bursts into his medbay, not seeming to notice or care that Ratchet is standing over a powered-down Misfire’s open chassis with all his internals exposed, and cries, “I think Ultra Magnus has a head injury!”
Ratchet looks up, wiping at a fleck of energon spattered across his cheek. “What do you mean, you think? Does he have a head injury or not?”
“Well,” says Tailgate, wavering on his pedes, “no one actually saw him hit his head, and he’s not leaking from anywhere that we can see—”
“If you don’t know for sure that there’s something wrong with Magnus, go find another medic to bother,” snaps Ratchet, and returns to hunching over Misfire. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m busy.”
Tailgate inches forward and peers up at him, wringing his hands together. “No one saw anything happen to Magnus, but—he suddenly started hitting on Whirl!”
Ratchet’s hands freeze over Misfire’s internals.
Then he carefully sets down all his surgical tools and turns to Tailgate. “Where is he?”
(read the rest on ao3!)
#2024tfrarepairingfest#transformers#mtmte#whirlmags#whirlmims#? is that also the ship name?#ratchet#whirl#minimus ambus#ultra magnus#c's writings#i swear this was less than 3k. and then i edited it and somehow the word count jumped to over 4k orz
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*inhale* IVANTILL
#i wrote 3k of 4k words of this today#AND I CAN'T EVEN WRITE 500 WORDS OF MY ORIGINAL WORKS#i'm writing another ivantill inspired by the kissy kissy comic eheehehe#alien stage#alnst#ivantill#my post
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Kinktober Summer Rerun 2024: Size Difference ● SukuIta 👅🐯
【DAY 22】
[#SukuIta, Size Difference, Heian AU]
To say Yuji had always been impressed by his master’s size and build would be an understatement. From the moment, as a child, that he had set foot in the domain and first met Sukuna, he was awed, by the man looking big and strong. Intimidating too.
Even to this day Yuji still felt impressed and awed by it.
At some point, he thought maybe it was because he was a child, of course, a child would think any adult would look giant compared to them. But even as a young adult, Yuji looked so small compared to him. And he wasn’t a small man by any means either. He was actually taller than most of the other servants.
He had yet to find someone who made him look so small as Master Ryoumen did.
But he also noticed something else changing from when he was a child. He used to love it when the King of Curses picked him up, ruffled his hair or held onto him. He was always amused by how big the man’s hands looked around him, so big they could probably crush him without needing to use too many of them.
He also found them reassuring, petting his head softly on nights when a young Yuji cried himself to sleep remembering his lost family. He still cherishes the way the man took care of him as a child, despite technically being his servant at his young age.
He still felt like that about it.
But now something more came with it.
Yuji wasn’t sure what to do with the strange heat that would bloom inside of him any time the man put his hands on him. It was as innocent as always, patting his shoulder or head, a hand on his waist or lower back to guide him around a little. He could see and feel how big they looked on him still and it made him feel things.
It also made him think of indecent thoughts.
Thoughts of Master Ryoumen using those large and strong hands to manhandle him, lifting him up as if he weighed nothing (which was probably the case to him). Thoughts of using that broad and powerful body of his to trap him under his weight, careful not to crush him. Thoughts of what it would be like to feel his mouth over his skin.
Thoughts of what was hiding under his fundoshi…
He always forced himself to shut down those thoughts, especially around the man. How shameful could he be, than to daydream about such things around his master. But sometimes at night, it was stronger than him and he couldn’t help but fantasise about what-ifs while discreetly touching himself under the blanket.
In the safety and darkness of his room, Yuji would allow his mind to wander a little farther, only sometimes. Wonder what it would feel like to touch his master more properly than when he helped him wash up. Wonder what his skin would taste like, how it would feel against the pad of his fingers.
But he also dared fantasise about what it would be like if the man were to take care of Yuji. Would he be gentle or rougher? Would he keep teasing him until Yuji begs for mercy or would he be too impatient to see him unravel? Would he kiss him all over, stealing away Yuji’s first proper kiss.
It was a little hard to look the man in the eyes when he soiled his blanket on nights like those.
But he figured that as long as he hid it, it should all be fine. Plus, only /looking/ at the man wasn’t bad, right? Many had eyes lingering on the man, even if most wouldn’t dare meet his eyes. Yuji figured he was being discreet enough in his gazing, always trying not to stare too much.
Maybe he wasn’t as subtle as he thought he was.
Master Ryoumen had always said he was like an open book.
“Why don't you join me on my bath” Sukuna asked, looking down at the young man who had been finishing preparing his bath. He seemed amused at Yuji’s surprise, the young man looking down with a blush.
“You should take the time to relax, Ryoumen-sama” Yuji pointed out, “I wouldn't want to be bothering you at such a time”.
“I see… I miss the cute tiger who would get excited to take baths with me” Sukuna ended up saying with a little sigh, “I suppose I will have to take it all alone with no one to keep me company”.
This had Yuji biting on his lip a little, looking unsure. He really wanted to join him. How long had it been since he had last done so? At most, he helped the man wash before he spent some time relaxing in the warm water, but that was it.
“If you insist and do say it is alright, then I suppose I can join” Yuji ended up saying, looking back up at the King of Curses. He felt something in his chest warm up at the smile the older man gave him, something rather soft and unusual to see on him.
“I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t” Sukuna pointed out, “I figure it could also do you pretty good, you have seemed tense and tired lately”. This had Yuji look down again, feeling his face heat up. The reason why he had been lacking sleep was because of all the dreams he had about his master, making it hard for him to sleep properly, working more than needed to forget it all.
With that Yuji followed along to go get ready to wash up. He was a little surprised when he felt Master Ryoumen stop him as he started undressing. “I’ll do it~” the older man smiled, both pair of hands working on undressing Yuji, folding and putting his clothes away.
This had the young man feeling a little flustered and very conscious of their status. He couldn’t remember when was the last time someone helped him undress like this to bathe. It was probably when he was a small child and some of the nice aunties helped him bathe.
When he was finally naked the King of Curses seemed very satisfied, stepping away a little, waiting. Yuji understood pretty easily what this was for, stepping closer to help him out. This he was a little more used to, having helped the man change more than once when Uraume wasn’t available. It also helped him relax a little bit.
It was also easy to forget that he was supposed to just relax when he started helping the man clean himself. Sukuna sure seemed pleased with feeling Yuji work with so much attention, even giving him a nice massage.
The young man did need to force himself not to think too much as he worked. His eyes kept wandering around, following dark tattoos, defined muscle, the droplet of water gliding over his skin. Despite trying to focus only on those, sometimes his gaze would go south, feeling something inside him steer awake at the sight.
What would it feel like to…
He stopped himself from thinking about it anymore, rinsing all the soap used. “You can go in the bath first, I’ll be joining soon” Yuji offered with a little smile, sitting down to wash himself. He was surprised when a hand stopped him again, looking up at the man.
“Let me help you,” Sukuna asked more than he offered. Yuji would have objected, seeing how his master shouldn’t be washing him, but wasn’t fast enough. The King of Curses was already working on cleaning him up too.
And well, Yuji was weak to feeling those large hands on him, scrubbing away all the grime and sweat from his hard day of work. It felt so nice, feeling the four hands working on him like this, sometimes even massaging briefly the knot in his neck. The best was feeling his fingers gently scratching against his scalp as he washed his hair.
This was probably the most relaxed Yuji had felt in a while, mind growing foggy a little as he allowed himself to only feel.
Then he felt a hand trying to dip between his legs, Yuji closed his thighs quickly, growing red again. “I-I can do this part alone” he assured him, unable to look up properly. He feared what kind of reaction he would have if Sukuna were to touch him there.
So he simply watched as Sukuna relented on this one, finally leaving to go and soak in the warm bath. This allowed Yuji to quickly finish cleaning up, trying to calm himself down quickly. Once he felt ready enough he finally rinsed off properly, making his way to the large steaming bath.
As he slowly sank into the water he tried ignoring how, despite the fact the bathtub was big enough to fit a couple of people, Master Ryoumen filled up most of the space. Although it usually wasn’t much of an issue, seeing how the King of Curses usually took his bath all by himself. Not that he seemed to mind Yuji feeling up the space left. Nor did the young man mind, it was more than enough space for him to try and relax.
“It seems a bit too cramped on the side for you,” Sukuna commented lightly, opening his eyes once again to look at him. “Why don’t you come closer, so you don’t huddle up against the wall like this” he suggested. “I have more than enough space, I swear this is fine” Yuji tried, only to shut up when he received a look from the older man.
This wasn’t a suggestion, but a demand.
So Yuji quietly sighed, taking a little more space while still being considerate of how much he left for Sukuna. But this was likely not good enough because the older man clicked his tongue. Before Yuji knew it, Master Ryoumen was moving, large hands grabbing his waist and hips to pull him forward.
He was now sitting between the older man’s legs before he even knew what was happening. Yuji tried ignoring the /large/ weights pressing against the small of his back, where he was a little too close between his legs.
This time Sukuna sighed, sounding content with the result. He kept an arm loosely around Yuji, keeping him from moving away and going back to the corner once again. “This is much better, don’t you think? Reminds me of the days when you barely reached my hip, taking bath with me and sitting in my laps until you nearly passed out from the heat” he recounted, chuckling at the end.
Yuji could feel him laugh against his back, blushing at the memories he was bringing back. Back then he wasn’t quite as conscious as to what a servant should be doing, playing around and enjoying his day spent with the master of the domain.
But he was a child and that was okay, now was different.
“Despite how much you’ve grown, you still stay pretty cute” he suddenly heard whispered right against his ear, warm breath tickling his neck. This surprised Yuji, only to yelp when he felt the large mouth on the man’s stomach kiss his back, then lick it teasingly.
“M-master Ryoumen” Yuji stuttered as hands started caressing the inside of his thighs, keeping them spread out more. The man only hummed, sounding amused as he kept touching him. In no time Yuji found himself standing hard and proud, biting his lip as a large hand brushed against his cock, only making it twitch.
“Your reactions are also pretty cute” the older man stated, a large hand coming to cover his erection, trapping it between it and Yuji’s stomach. “You are not quite as subtle as you think you are, you know” He pointed out, which only made Yuji feel mortified. He knew he had been staring and ogling a little too much, but he never thought it was that bad. “But it’s okay, If it’s my favourite cute and adorable servant I do not mind, you can look as much as you want” he chuckled, “You can even touch too if you want~” he hummed.
Yuji felt like he couldn’t feel any hornier and hotter than he already was, a moan escaping him when the man started slowly jerking his cock, the movement lazy and slow. He could also feel Sukuna start getting harder against his back too, two large lengths pressing and rubbing against him.
God he really wanted to touch too.
So he shyly tried, reaching behind himself to take hold of it. The fire inside him felt even hotter at the realisation he barely wraps his fingers all around it, fingers touching only slightly. Hearing the man grunt against his ear stirred him on, movement feeling more confident despite the awkward position.
“See, doesn’t it feel good to touch too” the man smiled, before manhandling him once against, this time turning Yuji around so he was facing him. He chuckled when he saw just how red Yuji looked, leaning down to steal a kiss from him, the young man melting against him. He tasted like the sake and daifuku he had been eating before his bath.
Yuji ended up breaking the kiss when he needed air, also feeling how one of Master Ryoumen’s hands had made its way behind him. He could feel a thick finger tease his rim, seemingly trying to make him relax. It was a little hard to do despite it all, seeing how big it was compared to Yuji’s own fingers.
“Master Ryoumen” Yuji breathed, a hand grabbing onto his wrist a little, “I don’t… I don’t know if it can fit easily right now” he admitted. As much as he wanted to feel his fingers inside of him, he wasn’t quite sure how well he could take him.
“Then why don’t you help me~” Sukuna offered, hand settling on grabbing onto his ass instead, kneading it lightly. This had Yuji nodding choppily, a hand resting the on King of Curses' chest while the other went back.
His own fingers went in without too much trouble, Yuji not missing the knowing look this gained him from the man. He wouldn’t be admitting he had been fingering himself the night before, even less what he had been thinking about. Instead, he tried focusing on stretching himself more so he could take the much bigger fingers.
But his focus did shift a little as he saw the older man start stroking one of his cock, movement as slow and lazy as when he was touching him earlier. The young man felt a little self-conscious as his master kept looking at him with these hooded eyes, a soft and lazy smile on his lips. It was all so different from what he usually looked like, eyes filled with something Yuji couldn’t quite put his finger on.
For a while, all that could be heard was the sound of Yuji’s soft panting and the water being disturbed when he moved a little too much. Sometimes it would be cut by Sukuna’s praise and encouragement. When he stayed quiet he used his free hands to slowly tease and caress Yuji’s body, slowly learning what seemed to make him feel good.
At some point Yuji stopped, getting a little impatient. He wasn’t sure it would be quite enough, but he knew he could take a little pain if anything were to happen. He just wanted to feel Master Ryoumen’s thick fingers inside of him /now/. “It should do now” he stated, his hand guiding one of Sukuna’s hands back to his bottom.
Maybe the King of Curses was also getting impatient because he didn’t need to be told twice. He started pushing his finger in, going slowly as he met some resistance. “Just relax for me, Yuji” he whispered against his neck, leaving kisses there, “Yes, like this” he hummed. Then he stopped once he had pushed his finger down to the knuckle, only lightly moving around, allowing Yuji to get used to his finger.
He only started moving it when Yuji rolled his hips a little, testing out how it felt. One finger was enough to do the job of 2 or 3 fingers, filling him pretty nicely like this. He moved along with the man’s movement as he started jerking him off too, trying to follow a similar rhythm.
Once he inserted a second finger he started feeling a lot more, the stretch burning slightly. This had him stop his movement, focusing on relaxing his body so it could get used to it more easily. “You are taking it all so well” Sukuna hummed, looking pleased, “Some wouldn’t be able to do so easily like this”. This had Yuji blushing, looking down as he remembered how much he had been touching himself like this.
After a little while the burning went away, even when he moved a little. Yet the older man didn’t start moving his finger, just looking down at him. “Master Ryoumen, please,” Yuji asked, trying to roll his hips more to fuck himself on his large fingers.
“Don’t be so formal now, call my name” the King of Curses requested, surprising Yuji. This had him shaking his head, looking unsure. Despite this situation, could he really be calling him so casually? He felt like if Uraume were to hear of this, they would get mad at him and punish him with more chores.
“I can’t” he mumbled, trying to move again. This time he was surprised when he felt a pair of hands grab them, forcing him to stay still. This had him whining, unable to budge even a little bit. He had not expected the older man to put so much force into it, keeping him still.
“If you don’t I won’t let you continue” Sukuna replied, a teasing grin on his lips. But Yuji also knew that if he didn't follow what he said, he would truly keep him still like this, only allowed to feel them sit inside him without moving.
“S-Sukuna, please” Yuji ended up begging, moaning when he suddenly started moving again when he finally used his name. And he also immediately nailed his sweet spot, making him hold onto him as best as he could.
He had never expected that it would feel that much better to feel his finger fuck him like this, his fingers reaching just the right spot all the time. “I want this too” He ended up saying, hand stroking him once again, hands a lot less coordinated than before. He felt so big in his hand, he wanted to know what it would be like if he fucked him with this. Surely he’d feel it deep into his guts.
“What an eager one you are” Sukuna chuckled, kissing him again. “But as much as I’d love to see you take me it will have to be for another time” he explained. This had Yuji groaning, but he felt like no arguing would somehow change the King of Curses' mind. “But I’ll make sure we can do it at another time~” he assured him, “You just need a little more training for that”.
This had Yuji feel very excited at the thought of /many more times/ possibly coming to be held by his master like this. He wouldn’t complain about it at all, especially if it meant he could be his in a way, even if only for the night.
He wasn’t really able to think about that for too long though, finding himself lost in pleasure once again. It felt so good he was even feeling a little lightheaded, mind fuzzy. His hands kept working though, not wanting to be the only one feeling good.
He was trying to hold his orgasm in until he had been able to make his master cum at least once. But he wasn’t sure if he was simply not doing it right, if he was too sensitive or if Sukuna was that good at holding off himself.
He ended up losing the game though, feeling himself tip over the edge when he once again pushed against just the right spot, grinding down. It also felt like he was cheating a little, a free hand coming to tease his cock at the same time. In no time this had Yuji cumming into the water, soiling it.
Then the world seemed to go dark and quiet.
This surprised Sukuna a little, who caught his servant in his arms. He quickly realised that the young man had simply passed out from the heat of the bath. A quiet laugh escaped him, picking him up in his arms more properly. “I suppose some things never change” he hummed, “I might have overdone it a little too for this time”.
#tweet archive#short story#jujutsu kaisen#sukuita#size difference#kinktober summer rerun#kinktober summer rerun 2024#nsft#heian au#3k - 4k words#writing challenge
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Baked Treats Are Good for Morale
Ladybug is pretty sure she’d recognize Chat Noir right away, even without the glamour. And she bets on it.
In school, Marinette bumps into a kid with a prosthetic leg much like Chat Noir. What a coincidence! The coincidences continue as they both seem to get an interest in baking around the same time…
(Ao3 link)
This fic is my secret santa gift for @kronehaze!! Happy (belated) Holidays friend! <3
#thought this’d be shorter. then I broke 2k words. then 3k. then 4k.........#Felinette#Marinette Cheng#Felix Sphinx#Ladybug#Chat Noir#Tikki#Ladybug Classic#Ladybug PV#Sal Writes#my writing
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((Me emerging from my room to eat something after the haze of writing 7k words of charlos smut:))
#*4k words of plot that justify the 3k words of smut at the end lol#anyway now to figure out if its all utter shit 😂#rpf
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i feel really stuck with my fic rn AH i have the big plot points and i know what needs to happen this chapter but it feels boring ?? but i have no inspiration
#which is also bad timing bc if i dont finish it today itll be a few weeks and i feel bad bc its already been 2 weeks#tbf i could just do what i have rn bc itll be 4k words when my aim is 3k but like it just feels bland#fic: help me hold onto you#m talks
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OKAY. i am going to attempt to finish and post wwy today
i have 4-5hrs depending on when i end up going to bed which should be plenty of time however i am known to take five years to do one simple task so we shall see
#i think im 4k words in#and it should be about that much for me to write now#ive already written the last scene which is almost 2k#so im estimating that this chap will be around 9-10k words#which is a lot lmao#almost as long as the fall fair chap#this isn't even an important one there's just a lot going on that i need to condense#the one after is going to be short#like 2-3k i believe#so balance!
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so much for the self-imposed midnight deadline
#i dont think i ever properly explained what ive been cooking up but essentially the diploma program thingy im working towards requires#us to write a 4k word research essay on a topic of our choice#most of my projects and stuff tend towards stem because. hello . physics. so i was like “let me switch it up”#so im writing my extended essay as an english..thing?#essentially i gotta analyse a literary work#since im insufferable as fuck i picked nurture by protein ribosome <- not tryna clog up the tag with my ee ramblings#since it counts as a literary work if ur analysing the lyrics#its a huge like 18month project but they shifted up all the deadlines so i only really got a year since it ws announced#and...4 months since we were allowed to start working on it#the complete rough draft (4000 shitty words) is due this friday at 5pm for us and erm. im at 3k right now. and i deleted a bunch of stuff#i got a busy weekend and need to prep for that so i said id get the essay done by tonight and then be nice and fresh and happy tomorrow but#that is NOT working out because of BOOPING!!!!!!#anyways im cooked and i dont even like music anymore like im starting to lose my passion for it BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN ESSAY GODDDDDDDDDDD
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Hello, we're working on Role Reversal again, and we want to bitch about it. For some perspective on what fresh hell this work has put us through, please keep in mind that roughly three thousand words of this are scenes we can't include due to Not Making Sense, attempts at reasoning out setting and plot, and just plain Slush Pile from a former concept. Also note that we've already deleted 2-3k words of this to drop in our Loose Lines docs and the slush we have behind is only still here because the concepts in it might be utilized well in this.
#we speak#writing#using a writing program tthat tracks time spent on works is a game changer because it lets us see shit like this#for reference bleeding through bandages (abt 4k words) also had a nearly 7 hour timer#because we had to scrap a large part of the back half due to inconsistency with worldbuilding#(also inconsistency with timeline as odile is dead at this time)#and this is past that. and it is 2-3k words at a VERY generous estimate. and it isnt anywhere near done#this does not account for shit like sentences we typed and then immediately backspaced btw
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Very slowly chipping at a wip right now, and I'm gonna say I'm really liking how it's coming out so far.
#jay rambles.txt#jay writes.txt#Touya pov has always been a little challenging for me to write but at the same time an absolute delight to#it's a small stand-alone - I'm around 1/3 through#so it shouldn't be much more than 3k-4k words at best#hopefully I'll be done with it today despite the flare up - really excited for it
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the cacao society grimmichi fic is coming along
#bleach#grimmichi#is it coming along /nicely/? who’s to say#we’re almost at 4K words though so that’s something#it’s probably around 3k of internal monologuing from Ichigo but. whatever. that’s fine
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🍃enough to feel free (a promise of hope)🍃
Hesitantly, he slides his glasses on. There’s no immediate rush of information here in the agency headquarters; Ranpo knows all he needs to about this place because he’s investigated this building and everything in it many times before. Still, he fixes his gaze on Fukuzawa, attempting to scrutinize him in a way he hasn’t yet.
He imagines he tells Fukuzawa that he doesn’t want to be called boy—doesn’t want to be seen as one, doesn’t particularly even feel like he is one. The Fukuzawa in his mind furrows his eyebrows and asks Ranpo what he means, asks him to explain because, as usual, what is clear to Ranpo is not so easily understandable to him, and Ranpo—
—doesn’t have an explanation.
He never has, which is perhaps why no one has ever believed him when he’s admitted he doesn’t feel like he’s a boy.
or: ranpo wishes the rest of the world could see gender in the same way he does
🍃 7.2k words || ranpo-centric 🍃
#ranpo edogawa#bsd#bungou stray dogs#fukuzawa yukichi#yosano akiko#here's my 7.2k word thesis on nonbinary ranpo. hope you all enjoy#thought this was only gonna be like 3k-4k but then i decided to add more scenes and well. we can see how that turned out#also featuring trans yosano bc i read one (1) trans yosano fic and it converted me#ummm yeah that's all i have to say#grace's writing tag
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only have 2-ish scenes left for the ricky fic 😭😭😭.
#i say 2-ish bcs they're long scenes. maybe 3k words each AHAHAAHHA#i can finish it soon but the problem is i don't have free time anymore 😭#i was able to write 3-4k a day prior but today i only got a few hundred words in ugshsjsjs#my finals r next week and i have a few papers on my plate. but i'm hoping to squeeze out the fic by weekend#while im still very inspired for it HAHAHAHAHA#anyway it's almost 5am i have to wake up in 3hrs gnight#answering asks when i have the time!!!! huhuhu
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[Kinktober 2022: Forced Fem (18+)]
SukuIta | Jujutsu Kaisen No Curse AU 10-10-2022
Day 10: T̷i̷c̷k̷l̷i̷n̷g | [Forced Fem] | P̷r̷e̷g̷n̷a̷n̷c̷y
Yuji’s apartment building caught fire and due to water damage, he can't stay there until reparation is done. He doesn’t know what he’ll do, until Sukuna suggests living with him, under one condition…
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Yuji was seriously unsure of what he had gotten himself into when accepting this deal with Sukuna.
It all started when a fire happened in his building and, while his own apartment wasn’t affected by the flames, the whole building now had water damage.
His landlord assured him he would still be able to have the room he had after the reparation and renovation were done, but until then…
This had left Yuji with nowhere to really go. He would have asked his two best friends, but he knew it wouldn’t really work.
Nobara was currently living with her girlfriend. It wouldn’t have been a problem living with the couple, the thing was, Maki already had roommates and the place seemed filled with all of them. He didn’t want to add to it anymore.
Megumi would also have been a good option. The young man lived alone after all, but he also live in the next city. Had it been a school break it wouldn’t have been too bad, but he couldn’t afford (he truthfully didn’t want to do) the commute between the city his friend lived into his college or job. Some days he was already finishing late enough, he wasn’t sure there would be trains and buses for him anyway.
He didn’t really dare mention it to his brothers either.
Next thing he’d know, they would be sending enough money for him to live somewhere bigger than he could already afford. He didn’t want to bother them anymore seeing they were already helping pay for college.
This is when Sukuna sweeps in.
He’s an old acquaintance of his, an annoying one at that, but still someone he knows none the least. And somewhat regular client to the café he works at. “So you’re it was your building who caught fire,” Sukuna says when Yuji finishes telling him what was wrong.
“Where did you stay for the two last nights?”.
“I’m doing a group project with someone in one of my classes” Yuji started, “We went to work at their place and they accepted to let me crash on their couch, but I don’t want to bother them anymore”.
“Why don’t you stay at my place until you can move back into yours?” Sukuna suggested as he drank his coffee “No need to help pay for anything, I make enough for that, just need help with chores”.
Yuji then squinted at him, looking suspicious. “What’s the trap” he then asked, knowing this was a little bit /too generous/ coming from Sukuna. It only made him feel a bit more worried about it when Sukuna only grinned, “I do have one condition, but I’m sure you can roll with it, not have much of a choice”.
He seemed to wait a moment for the young man to argue, but when nothing came he smile a little more, leaning forward on the table.
“You’ll have to wear feminine clothing at home~” he stated, grinning even more when Yuji frowned.
But he also forced himself not to refuse immediately. Because did he really have a choice? He didn’t have anywhere else to go without it sounding like inconveniencing people from his department. Plus, it was just clothing, he could roll with it if it was just at home. He doubted Sukuna would force him to walk around in lingerie or something (though he wouldn’t fully bet all his money on that).
“Alright,” Yuji sighed after a while, feeling himself relax a little bit now that he knew he had somewhere to go. Sukuna sure looked pleased with him accepting his offer.
“So, where are your shit right now?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, taking his cup of coffee again to finish it.
“Most of my things stayed at my place in boxes,” Yuji said, “I took valuables and clothing with me, they’re in the back store right now”. Thankfully, his manager had been nice enough to let him leave some of his things here, as long as it wasn’t for too long.
“Your break's nearly over, bring them to me, I’ll get them to my place and you can bring the rest,” Sukuna said, already standing up and ready to follow him.
And this is how Yuji ended up living with Sukuna… while wearing dresses and skirts.
If he had to be honest, at first it wasn’t too bad. He’d just wear whatever Sukuna had for him (he also decided not to ask questions about why these clothes fitted him so well). And he’d had to admit himself, wearing skirts wasn’t so bad too either.
But then as time went on, the more Sukuna seemed to like messing with him. He’d hide the longer skirts and shirt, leaving him in clothing that was way more revealing than he’d like. And every time he’d ask about it they would conveniently be out for cleaning.
But that was okay… he could deal with this kind of teasing.
“Nah you can’t come over tonight” he heard Sukuna say one night as he was preparing them dinner. “Yes, I already have a pretty girl over tonight” Sukuna then replied to the person on the phone, laughing at their reaction, before the call seemed to be ended.
Yuji had turned to him with a raised brow, he didn’t know someone else was coming over. If it was another fuck buddy of Sukuna, he’d just go out and find something to do.
Maybe there were interesting movies at the cinema.
“You should tell me when you bring a girl over,” Yuji says as he turns back to what he was cooking, “I don’t want to hear you having sex again” he then adds.
He still somehow couldn’t get out of his mind all the things Sukuna was telling the other person. Now that he thought about it, it was a bit strange that he had been able to hear him so clearly from the living room.
“No one is coming over” he heard Sukuna laugh, which made him roll his eyes. So he was just lying to not have the person over. “I already have a pretty girl with me” he then heard whispered near his ear, making him jump and shiver at the same time.
Large hands came to hold his waist, feeling hot over his exposed skin since he was wearing a crop top.
Yuji felt a weird type of warmth build up in his guts, making him blush at the words. “I’m not your pretty girl” he snapped back, trying to keep himself from shivering when he heard Sukuna chuckle near his ear, his breath hitting his neck.
“Well, seeing how you dress” he commented, “but it’s true, you’re not my pretty girl” he added. “You are more like my little wife, taking care of the house, dressing up all prettily for me and making me diner” he continued, fingers gently caressing the skin of his hips.
Yuji couldn’t take it anymore, every word he was saying hitting something weird in him and he was scared of that. He ended up pushing Sukuna back a little, still feeling the ghost of his touch even when his hands were not there anymore.
“I’m not your wife either!” he barked back, knowing it probably didn’t sound like much with how flustered he was. Sukuna backed off laughing, clearly amused by his reaction and very satisfied.
And of course, it continued. Suddenly he was now “Sukuna’s little wife” and the man seem to take lots of pleasure in using every feminine term possible with him.
And every time, it would trigger something inside of Yuji.
He was also a lot more touchy than before, always finding ways to put his hands on him in an “innocent” kind of way. Especially when he’d be wearing something that showed his midriff or some of his thighs.
Yuji seriously couldn’t understand what Sukuna liked in seeing a guy crossdressing. He wasn’t even small, soft and cute.
Then one morning, after he finished his shower, he was met with all his underwear being changed for panties.
And this stupid Sukuna wasn’t in the apartment anymore! He tried looking all over the place to find them back, not believing that he would have gone out with them. But he was running late and forced himself to wear panties all day.
He couldn’t stop thinking about it, wondering if people would notice it even though he was wearing jogging and an oversized hoodie. It brought back this weird feeling he’d feel sometime, not believing Sukuna was basically forcing him to wear cute lacy panties around his college campus.
“How was your day” Sukuna dared to ask with a shit-eating grin.
“Normal” Yuji grumbled, ready to go change, hoping his usual underwear would be back in its correct place.
But before he could reach Sukuna’s room, he was trapped against the wall, Sukuna leaning over him. “Did you like my surprise this morning?~” he asked, which only angered Yuji more.
“No, I did not, you asshole!! Where did you put my boxers?!” Yuji asked, before yelping when he felt a hand suddenly grab the hem of his hoodie to lift it up. “Wa-What are you doing?!” he then panicked, trying to stop the hand that was trying to push down his joggings.
“Nothing, just trying if you put my gift to nice use~” Sukuna replied, humming satisfied when he managed to push the pants down enough to show the lacy panties. “They look really pretty on you, Yu-chan~” he whispered near Yuji’s ear, enjoying the way it made the young man blush again.
“I don’t think they do” Yuji replied, a little voice in his head screaming to him that he was lying. He did have a stray thought this morning that they looked good. But he refused to admit it.
“I think they do” Sukuna chuckled, “I think I’ll just confiscate your underwear for now, and let you wear something that suits you better~”.
Yuji wanted to be horrified at the idea, weakly protesting the idea.
But he knew that there would be nothing to do against Sukuna’s will to make his life hell.
So he kept wearing the panties, always feeling a bit embarrassed by them even if he got used to them. Actually, the more time passed, the more used he got to wear them.
And surprisingly, the more he’d sometimes think that maybe, just maybe, he did look good in some of the clothing chosen for him.
The more time passed doing this whole routine, the more it felt like Sukuna’s words were changing him.
The more he’d sometimes even feel a bit excited at the idea of coming home, changing into his dress and skirt and having the man compliment him all night. Although he did his best to push down the reaction it caused in him every time, not wanting for Sukuna to know.
after all, for him, it was probably all just a joke to mock Yuji. He didn’t need to humiliate himself even more by showing him he actually got some pleasure out of it and had ended up liking it.
Then one evening, as Sukuna was still not back from work, Yuji sneaked into his room. He had decided to put on some of the more sexy underwear Sukuna had picked for him, having never really dared try it on.
Something in him felt both weird a happy that he found them fitted him well.
Then he decided to put on one of the shorter skirts he never wore. Simply bending over was enough to flash everyone, he really didn’t know what sukuna had thought buying this knowing he’d never wear it.
At least, not until now.
He found one of the long-sleeved shirts that left his shoulder uncovered and stuck to his body perfectly. Even this shirt would leave some of his midriff exposed, something that Sukuna seemed to particularly like.
He could nearly feel the memory of the caress he’d tease him with.
It made him shiver a little bit, shaking his head in an attempt to push away those memories. He then found some thigh-high black socks, putting them on. Then he went back to the mirror, looking himself over.
He couldn’t help himself but think he did look kind of sexy in those clothes, moving around a little bit. He could nearly hear what Sukuna would comment if he was here with him, “Look at you, all pretty and sexy just for me~ Should I reward my pretty girl for doing all this work for me?”.
The imaginary commentary made him bite his lips, squeezing his leg a little bit as he dick seemed to also enjoy the scenario in his mind.
He couldn’t help looking away, trying to calm down this weird excitement.
This made him see the hoodie left on Sukuna’s bed, making him pause for a moment. The man wouldn’t know if he put it on, would he? He’d just need to put it back on the bed.
So he grabbed it, put it on and went back to the mirror. Sukuna was a bit taller and bigger than him, so it looked pretty oversized on him. The bottom hem of it went to the middle of his thigh, covering the skirt fully.
‘I look like a girlfriend who stole her boyfriend’s hoodie’ he then thought, only to get flustered that he had just compared himself to a girl again.
But he really liked how it looked on him, with the socks too.
It made him feel warm and he was pretty sure it hadn’t been cleaned yet so it still smelled like Sukuna. This only made him feel even more excited than before. He was pretty sure he was getting hard from all this.
But it was okay, he was alone and could take care of this before Sukuna would be back.
So he closed his eyes, bringing some of the hoodies closer to his face, breathing in the scent. As he thought, it still smelled of Sukuna. He wasn’t a big fan of the smell of cigarettes, but the cologne he seemed to use overpowered it enough that it wasn’t so bad. He remembered having smelled it when Sukuna would stay close to him.
It felt like having the man all around him, making him feel good.
As much as he always seemed annoyed with Sukuna, having him close felt safe in a way. Now it felt like he was all around him.
When he opened his eyes again, letting go of the hoodie a little too, he froze when he saw his reflection, growing suddenly very red in the face.
Sukuna was standing right behind him.
He was ready to bolt away, but strong arms snaked around him, pulling him back against Sukuna instead. “What a naughty girl you are” he whispered into his ear, looking at him through the mirror, “Sneaking into my room to steal my hoodie” he chuckled.
Then one of his hands slowly made its way down, caressing his exposed thigh, then going back up again. This made Yuji shake a little bit, trying to grab his wrist to stop him. “I-it’s not like that” he tried to argue.
“But you sure seemed to be enjoying yourself when burying your face in my hoodie” he pointed out, hand finally lifting up the hoodie to show what he was wearing under it. “You were even playing dress up without me” he added.
The hand still around his middle kept the hem higher, the hand dipping down again, running over the pretty skirt. He did stop when he seemingly felt something interesting through it.
Yuji tried to keep in the moan that wanted to escape his lips when Sukuna started teasing the growing bulge through the fabric of the skirt. He was too embarrassed to look at himself through the mirror, feeling his legs weak under him.
“You were even having fun all by yourself” Sukuna pouted playfully, “You should have waited for me, I’ll gladly make you feel good” he grinned. Then Yuji yelped when he was suddenly swooped off his feet, instinctively wrapping his arms around Sukuna as he was being carried.
He was thrown onto the bed, Sukuna soon climbing over him, not leaving time nor space to run away. “My pretty girl should be punished when she’s being naughty, don’t you think?” he grinned, hand now sneaking under the skirt.
He didn’t wait for anything to start rubbing his erection through the panties, clearly enjoying the way Yuji was trying to keep in his moan and whimper. Yet he couldn’t stop the way his hips were pushing up against his hand, trying to get more friction.
“You look so pretty like this” Sukuna said quietly near his ear, kissing his neck, “getting all needy after only a couple of touches” he chuckled. Yuji could feel him sucking and biting at his skin, knowing it would leave marks later.
He should probably stop him, but something in him felt really excited at the idea of being marked by Sukuna.
“You want to be a good girl for me, right?” Sukuna then asked, hand stopping its movement, instead forcing his hips down so he couldn’t move.
Yuji couldn’t help the quiet whine that escaped him at the touch of his dick going away.
“Y-yes” Yuji replied quietly, not meeting his eyes.
“Yes, what?” Sukuna asked, a smirk on his lips.
“Yes… I-I want to be yo-your good girl” Yuji managed to reply after a moment of biting his lips, feeling his face heating up again at saying it out loud. He may have thought it earlier in his fantasy, but he never said it aloud.
“Of course, you would” Sukuna hums, “Then you’ll do something for me” he grinned.
Yuji was both excited and curious about what he wanted him to do. Yet he didn’t tell him yet, instead getting rid of the hoodie and shirt he was wearing, making him shiver a little at the air hitting his exposed skin. He had started to boil in that hoodie.
He had then manhandled by Sukuna who sat on the edge of the bed, Yuji now straddling one of his thighs. “You want to be a good girl for me right?” he repeated, hands on his waist forcing him to sit down on his leg, “Then I want you to cum for me~” he stated.
Yuji nodded at his words, feeling like this was pretty much all he wanted right now anyway. he had made a move to use his hand, only for them to be firmly grabbed by Sukuna.
“No hands~” he said, “But if you need your hands to be busy, you can lift the em of your skirt so we can see everything well” he smiled.
Yuji bite his lips at this, hesitating a little bit. This was already going farther than he thought he’d ever go, but the idea of just watching himself grind on Sukuna’s thigh was a bit much. Yet he also really wanted to get off. ‘And be called a good girl again’ something in him whispered.
So with slightly shaky hands, he lifted his skirt up, exposing his leaking cock to Sukuna, somehow still trapped inside the panties. It made him blush, feeling like he must be looking so slutty with such sexy underwear on too.
“You look really pretty like this” Sukuna commented, hands on his waist slowly going up, caressing his skin. This did encourage Yuji to start moving a little bit.
At first, he was humping against him more shyly and slowly, but soon it showed to not be enough. So he tried going harder and faster, whimpering and moaning at the pleasure he was able to get out of this.
He did feel a bit surprised when Sukuna started playing with his nipples. It wasn’t quite pleasurable, but it sure didn’t feel bad either.
After a while, Yuji’s movements were more disorganised, feeling desperate for release. And he could finally feel it coming, making him even more frantic in his movement, humping harder into his leg.
When he came he did so pretty hard, feeling his legs spasm as his hips still moved a little bit. He still managed to keep the skirt lifted up, although he ended up leaning forwards, hiding against Sukuna as he gasped for air.
As he was slowly coming back to earth he realised Sukuna had wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close to his chest. He could feel the kisses being placed on his face and neck, things along the line of “You were such a good girl” being whispered to him.
Yuji felt like he couldn’t come back from whatever had just happened right now. He just knew it would never be the same again, especially with Sukuna. And somehow, he thought it wasn’t so bad, actually. He didn’t mind being Sukuna’s little wife.
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(Forced Fem turned not so forced fem. Sukuna gained himself a little wife And he shall take good care of this little wife)
Original - AO3
#my writing#tweet archive#short story#jujutsu kaisen#sukuita#sukuna#sukuna ryoumen#yuji itadori#kinktober#kinktober 2022#no curse au#force fem#force feminization#grinding#nsft#writing challenge#3k - 4k words
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