#37 hours for this entire thing and i regret nothing haha!

[morningnoodles]

my sole entry for bagginshieldtober 2024. fix it version of the ending under the cut ✿

big shoutout to @acorn-and-oakleaves for hosting this year's bagginshieldtober!! come join us on discord, folks (❁´◡`❁)

[astolfofo]

deja vu, Jamis vu

BSD beast au x reader. Based on the end of the beast movie.  AUTHORS NOTE: SO. ITS FINALLY DONE. ITS 4AM I AM ON IPAD TUMBLR AND UHHHH… I tried to edit this. but. TUMBLR WAS BEING AN ASS. and the two hours I spent editing this went down the drain. Mere words could not describe the grief I felt at 3:37 in the morning. I would have screamed if I weren’t so zombieified. Then, I tried to be paitent and edit it another time, but tumblr was like: haha no. so it didn’t save. I swear it’s not my fault if you have a stroke while reading this. I sacrificed my sleep for an entire week to do write this. Please give me some credit for my suffering. /lh

Also keep in mind. I have watched the DA movie and the beast movie a whopping total of 1 time. It’s probably very off from what I was trying to communicate, cause I legit have no clue what goes on in the light novels... spare me the slander. 

Last thing, I tried something new with this one, so there’s weird ahh switches between first person and 2nd person in this. Idk how good it is, lmk if i should never do it again.

Tw: head injury, murder, blood, suicide, yeah I think that’s about it.

word count: 6.8k  

To all the Chuuya enjoyers out there, I’m sorry for being a disappointment.

Tags: @redeemingmygloryintopurgatory

I’m wet.

Im standing outside his door, knocking as it rains outside, without an umbrella, cold, and of course, drenched.

Helplessly, I knock on his door, hoping for a response from him. I know it’s pointless, by now. I should cut him out of my life by now, I should… leave him. He’s not a good person, he’s part of the Port Mafia, for the love of god… I’m scared of him. He could crush me at any moment. Hell, he breaks into my house so frequently, and even though he’s done no harm… he could kill me at any moment. So why am I here? Shouldn’t I be relieved that he hasn’t shown up at my apartment for over a month now? I… just can’t…

Lightening splits the sky in half and the sound of thunder cracks in the air.

Your fist slides down the window pane of the door. It makes a terrible sound, and you wince in pain from the sting of the friction. You should just go home. It was obvious Chuuya wasn’t even home, he never was. And if he wasn’t even home, how would he even answer the door? You regret coming here in the first place, you didn’t even know why you chose to. Was it out of worry? Was it because you had to say something to him? You couldn’t remember by now, it was all on impulse. 

Chuuya had broken into your apartment countless times. Still, no matter how many times you’d snap at him, how many times you’d emptily threaten him, or try to push him off the balcony, he still came back the next day, unphased. You couldn’t get rid of him, no matter how hard you tried. And after many days, you had learned to accept that someone could break into your home at any given moment.

And you had no knowledge of how he knew you, let alone knowledge of how he even got your house key. Or maybe he picked your lock. You couldn’t be sure and you really did not want to know. 

Every day, you’d come back home from work, and Chuuya would be sitting on your couch, drinking your wine (much to your own distaste). You’d usually give him a dirty look, and he’d glare in return but you’d say nothing. You preferred not to talk to him, and Chuuya wouldn’t raise conversations by himself. He always sat in the corner of the room, observing… scrutinizing every move you made. On the rare occasions when you had managed to start a conversation with him, it was always painfully awkward.

You once remember asking him why he was here, what he wanted from you, and his true intentions. Chuuya looked at you in an amused manner and stared out the window. 

“Why I’m doing this? You’ll find out yourself when the time is right.”

By the time you had woken up, he was always gone. As if he was never there in the first place. The only thing he’d leave was the wine glass he’d drink out of, and your clothes you had hauled back from the laundromat messily folded, in your drawer. Occasionally, when it warm out, he’d leave the window open. They were small actions. Meant to be noticed, but not returned.

The splashing of rain intensifies, as you stand on Chuuya’s porch. He’s not home. You can’t stand here forever. You have to get back home before it’s too late.

What a great way to spend my time off work.

But you wanted to try one last thing before you left. Maybe his door was unlocked the entire time. Although you would doubt it, it was worth a try. It was so stupid to do this, all of it was. But your curiosity is getting the best of you, and you desperately wanted answers. Answers only Chuuya could give.

So, you grip the door handle and twist the doorknob. Much to your shock, the mechanics of the door click, and the door opens.

Chuuya had left the door unlocked. He forgot to lock his own door. You take a step up, and stand in the doorway. The rain is still hitting your back, and you groan realizing that you’re dripping water onto the floor. Quickly, you step in and shut the door. You twist the lock, ensuring that no one else would come in.

You sure hope Chuuya wasn’t going to come home tonight. The thought of it made the hair on your neck stand slightly. 

You take off your shoes which are drenched in water and stare in the mirror. You’re soaked to the bone. Your clothes are completely see-through. You’d need to change them. That could wait, though. If the rain stopped, you’d go home as soon as possible.

Okay. Quick in and out it is. I need to find my spare key, and I need to find what happened to him after the explosion in the sky that day. The one that happened on the top of the… port mafia building. You shudder. I wonder what happened. It was so bright that it looked as if the sky exploded for a second. The next thing you know, everything is back to normal… except it isn’t. A dead body is found at the bottom of the building.

Followed by that, I never saw Chuuya again, but many people that were close to me have been avoiding me. When asked why, they avoided my question. There isn’t a strong connection there, but I think… that all of these events are connected somehow. Chuuya never appears again, and the fact he works for the Port Mafia, definetly does not help. 

Additionally, the Armed Dective Agency sent me a letter to be wary of Chuuya. With no additional information. There’s something going on here. Something is wrong. Something terribily wrong.

And I’m scared.

Apprehensively, you take several steps inside the house. You keep getting the feeling that you may get caught. But you don’t hear anything at the door. It’s a painful paranoia.

You inhale and exhale.

I’ll start looking for hints first. I don’t need an answer right away. One hint will be able to give me lots. I’ll start from his room, that’s where people are most likely to hide things.

You walk as quickly as possible across the empty corridor in the house. His house is eerily empty. There isn’t much in it, just a lot of furniture, a shelf of wine, messy papers and a few books placed sparsely across the rooms.

You walk up the stairs, which slightly creaks under your weight. You try your best to ignore any noises and try to stay focused. As you reach the top of the stairs, you see his bedroom, which is the first room at the end of the staircase.

You walk towards the room, you open the door and look around. Chuuya’s room is surprisingly fuller than the rest of the house. There is a dresser, with several items stacked on top of it. It has drawers, which you assume were full. His closet was also filled with clothes, with various hats on the shelf above in his closet.

Chuuya’s bed was neatly made, giving the impression that he had not been home in weeks. Unoccupied, cold, and abandoned. Yet you felt a temptation to lie in it either way. Your eyes dart to the dresser again, and you look at the various items spread out on it. None of these are of much use to you. Besides the gun that seemed unused.

Your hands move to the drawers and you begin to search them. In the first one, there was nothing. Just a bunch of stationery, and papers, some of which had blood on them. You shudder in disgust and move on.

You struggled to pull the second drawer. After a moment, it slides open and you look at the inside contents. You stare at it, wondering if you open it. There is no address on it, and it isn’t sealed. 

You have a bad feeling about this, but your hands move faster than your brain. You pull out the piece of paper and read its contents.

The letter is addressed to you. It doesn’t include much. Just A single sentence that holds an address. 

And then it hits you.

Chuuya had been planning this for a long time. He had purposely left the door unlocked, left his house empty, and left you because he knew you would try to find him one day.

It infuriates you more than you expect. But you can’t stop here. You’ll go to a specific location. 

Just to be sure, you look in the third drawer, you see your spare key, as well as a lock cutter. 

Its dark now. It’s still pouring. You have no choice to stay here for tonight. Begrudgingly, you curse yourself for dragging yourself into this. Still, you were in too deep to back out now. Whatever happens, will happen.

-

You wake up. 

You're lying on Chuuya's bed, in his clothes, begrudgingly. Your own clothes are discarded onto the floor, dried during the time you had been asleep. Still, you don't exactly feel like changing into them. It felt too gross to wear them. 

You shake your head. Now's not the time to be thinking about that. You sit up, and stretch your arms. Then, you walk towards the desk again, and look at the address. You take note of the address, and take your spare key. Before you go, you flip over the paper, ensuring that you didn't miss anything. There's another sentence scribbled on the top of the paper.

I know you're reading this. You want to know why I'm gone, and why I did this. The address that is provided will help you, but it will not give you the answer, nor will I be there. 

…What? 

You read the sentence over and over again. The words sink in, making you feel conflicted. You knew you were getting yourself into a certain kind of danger by doing this, but you didn't expect it to be this risky. Hell, you didn't even know where the man was now, and not to mention… the location…

You look at the location again.

It's on the street where the explosion happened. And you're no fool. If it was on that street, it meant it was that building. There were no other possibilities. You doubt it would be any other one of those tall skyscrapers, anyways. The one where the explosion happened was the only building Chuuya had any affiliations with.

Which was going to be incredibly difficult to get into. Let alone, to the top floor. You'd be dead even trying to set foot into the door. It wasn't worth your life for this. You should forget about it and go back home.

You look through the paper again, hoping there might be something more to help you. Sighing, you came back with nothing. I suppose I really have to go through with this, don't I? There's no turning back. 

-

The walk to the Port Mafia's building was rather short, if you were being completely honest. It was located in the heart of Yokohama, and was one of the tallest buildings there, if that told you anything. 

You stand outside the building, as the apprehension and fear build up inside you. You had never felt as much of a need to run from anything, as much as you did now. The doors, despite their grandeur size, and large glass design, looked uninviting. Almost like doors to a bank vault; the kind of doors that told you, you wouldn't be able to get out, as soon as you stepped in. And from various things people has told you throughout the years, the Port Mafia keeps people it's had come into contact with. It's more powerful beyond belief. 

It doesn't need to control you. You'll be forced into being pliant for them, simply by fear. No one can betray them. Death is almost a guarantee if you do.

And recently, they had also become violent as well. You might as well be walking yourself into a death wish.

But your feet remained rooted into the ground, and part of you remains determined to see this through. So you take a deep breath and walk into the building. 

You try to remain calm as you push through the doors, into the lobby. You pray Hou won't be swatted with bullets as soon as you enter, but much to your own surprise, there's no one in the lobby. It's completely empty.

It doesn't feel right. You wonder if what happened. Well, it's not your business anyways. You couldn't care less. You just needed to find whoever Chuuya's office is and-

"Who are you?"

shit. you curse under your breath. "I-I'm," you turn around to face the person talking g to you. As soon as you do this, the man's eyes widen, and you acknowledge away slightly. "Sorry… um… do you know where Chuuya is?"

You had never felt so idiotic and out of place in your life. You can physically feel your heart pounding inside your chest, as you pray you don't look too suspicious. You can't mess up here. Though the man you are currently talking to isn't holding any firearm. That may just as well mean he has even worse methods to kill you off.

"He's not here."

of course, he isn't. You think to yourself. He wrote that in his own letter, or whatever you call it. 

"He's been arrested." The man looks you directly into your eyes, and as on instinct, you look down, too scared to actually look at him. A few moments pass in silence.

"Can you… perhaps tell me why?"

"After the previous Port Mafia executive committed suicide, Chuuya was forced to lead the Port Mafia. He hated the job greatly, and he eventually…" He stops himself.

"Go on." You mutter.

The man tilts his head and looks at you again. "Are you sure? If you want to see him… it's better just to see for yourself." He stops for a second. 

"No… please tell me. Tell me everything that you possibly can."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Fine then. If you insist."

"Chuuya lost his control over himself. He slowly became more, deranged, if you will, as time went on. After the old executive killed himself, Chuuya had no one left. Or at least, that's what we saw. His orders became more and more irrational, often just resorting to killing everything, and slowly, he eventually broke. He went on a rampage, as you've probably seen, Yokohama is not safe with him around. He almost destroyed Yokohama in its entirety, and it took serveral organizations to stop him. I don't know the exact details after that. He remains locked up underground."

You feel as if you had been doused under cold water. You didn't only have your question answered, but that also explained several other things as well. You try to recollect your thoughts while figuring out what to do next.

"By the way, you look familiar."

"How so?"

"I don't know, to he honest. You look like someone who used to work here. Maybe my mind js tricking me, though. You look too weak to be here."

"Yeah," you force out an awkward laugh, "I could never work here for the life of me."

"Figures."

another awkward pause, as you stare at the man.

"I assume you need Chuuya's location, don't you?"

You nod.

"Here." He hands you a piece of paper, with an address messily scrawled onto it. "Although, I don't recommend going to see him, tell the guards you are a relative of his. Hopefully, it will convince them enough to let you in. Though, if you want, I'm sure you can attempt to knock the guards out. Chuuya's well… very restrained so he won't hurt you."

"Ah… thank you."

"Don't mention it."

You bow and leave.

"Hey wait-" the man calls out, his voice echoing through the empty lobby. He seems hesitant to ask something. You stop and turn around. "Yeah?"

He looks down, and awkwardly avoids eye contact for a second. It's at this moment you realize he's a man with short, white, hair, as well thick bangs that were cut into a slant. He’s rather short, and he’s wearing a long jacket.

He looks… familiar. I wonder why.

“What’s your name?” 

You stare at him for another moment before answering. “It’s Y/N.”

You could have sworn you had seen a face of surprise from him for a second, but it could have been your imagination because the next instant you blink, it’s gone. “I see,” he says slowly. “Be careful then. He’s not the same as what you may remember.”

As… I remember? What….

“Nevermind. Forget I said anything. Just go to the address, and everything will make sense.”

“Hey wait-”

He’s already turned his back and left on you. You’re left with so many more questions than you started off with, and dread creeps up you again. There was a warning tone in his voice, almost as if telling you to do this was a terrible idea. That you were going to be landing yourself in scalding hot water, and you wouldn’t be able to get out. You knew the risks from the start, but…

You quickly unfold the paper, and look for the address. Once again, the address is written in the center of the paper. You carefully look around for any other writing on the paper.

It’s completely white. Blank. Except for one sentence on the bottom: It’s never too late to back out. 

And you stare at it, and think about the several cryptic warnings you received from this man. So… you’re telling me, that after that explosion happened in the sky… a dead body, the previous executive was found. Then shortly after that, Chuuya became the executive of the Mafia. He hated it. But he had no choice and was left alone to do it. Eventually, he lost his sanity and mind and the Mafia… I guess? Because very corrupt, violent, and unsafe. It took many people to stop him, and how he was arrested in an underground cell. At this address.

It’s clear he’s cutting something out. He said to be careful. Of course, if Chuuya has lost his mind, I need to do that. But he empathized that I should be wary of him. Also, he said I looked familiar, and he also looks familiar to me. He mentioned something about… me remembering? Have I known Chuuya for longer? 

But he also said that only Chuuya has the answers to all my questions. So that means in other words, he knows what happened during the explosion, he knows that Chuuya has been breaking into my apartment and he knows more about my entire predicament now, than I do.

Just… who exactly is he? How and why?

You cut yourself off from those thoughts. 

Ugh. this is ending up being so much more complicated than it was supposed to be. You thought in bitterness. So basically, I’ll go to the address, and get the answers to my questions. Sounds simple enough. There’s no need to overthink this. Maybe i’m just being paranoid. What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, a lot. But I’ll just ignore that for now.

You turn around and walk towards the door again. To be honest, you don’t want to know what might happen once you see him. You were already nervous from the implications the man had told you moments ago, and you were coming to realize there were some things that you noticed when you were in Chuuya’s house. Things that you maybe weren’t supposed to know about or see.

In the bottom of the drawer… there were documents. Documentation of everything that happened on the day of the explosion. A bright light illumined the sky, followed by the dead body found; the previous port mafia’s executive; Dazai Osamu. The two closest people to the explosion were a member of the port mafia, Atsushi Nakajima, and a member in the training of the Armed Detective Agency, Ryounouske Akuwatagawa. They are believed to be the cause of the explosion.

No one knows the exact events inside the Port Mafia on that day, except for the individuals involved in the actions that happened. According to the Armed Detective Agency, Akuwtagawa had barged into the Port Mafia to challenge the Port Mafia Executive. He accordingly, fought many individuals in the Port Mafia, a body count is yet to be determined. Data from thereon forth is unknown until the individuals reach the top of the building, where the most notorious event stated above occurred.

Additionally, after thorough examination of the body of the previous Port Mafia Excuetive, it can be concluded that he had committed suicide by jumping off the building. 

The document ends there, and the paper is ripped in half.

-

It felt like every meter you travelled towards that location was walking towards a terrible, yet inevitable fate. The drive there, dragged on and on as if mocking you for your choices. You find yourself counting down the seconds until you can arrive at the location given.

Oh, how you wished you had stayed at home instead of seeking him out. If only your morbid curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of you.

You’ve lost track of the time you’ve spent on the train, only waiting for the loudspeaker to announce your stop. The location you figure you were given led you to a rather remote area, likely in the outskirts of Yokohama. If not further. The man had told you he was locked underground, completely isolated from everything.

You found that part the most unsettling. If they needed that many security measures to keep him in place, it was likely he was completely gone. Gone beyond saving. If he had succumbed that much to his own grief and madness, it would be a question of whether he would still remember you or not. 

You look out the window again, enjoying your last moments of peace.

This is the eerie calm before the storm, isn’t it?

Moments after you think that, the train halts to a stop at the last station in Yokohama, and you get off. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, and you’re not sure if you can stop it.

You try your best to remain calm. Force yourself to keep going. He’s special to you. You can’t lose him, even if you hate him. You need him. He’s the only one who still cares. 

And above all, he’s the only one who remembers you at all.

And so, you go. You take all the correct turns. You try to walk as quickly as you could, to arrive at the destination. You keep going, and going and going until…

You’re here.

It’s one of the better buildings on the outskirts of the city, yet… it looks incredibly unsettling. It’s a mundane building, one made from standard concrete, and glass. Yet. As you stand so close, you see cracks in the building. The door is partially cracked as well. 

Well, I’m here already. Whatever happens, happens. I may die in there, still, before I die, I have to know the answer. The answer… why can’t I remember? Chuuya. I want him to tell me, what he did to me. Why he came to my apartment every day. Why he’s… he’s…..

Oh. My hands are shaking. Surely I cannot be this terrified can I? I will do this even if it kills me.

You pull the door open and enter the building. The piece of paper told you that it was on the lowest floor. Your footsteps echo in the empty building, and it feels creepy no one is here.

Huh. Gives some Deja Vu, doesn’t it?

You proceed towards the elevator at the end of the hall, and press the down button. Almost instantly, the elevator makes a “ding” noise, and the doors open. You quickly step in and look for the lowest button. With a deep breath, you push the button, and the door closes.

You stare at your face in the mirror. You look terrible. Pale and your hair is completely dishevelled and a mess. If you didn’t know any better, you’d look like you were sick. You had been extremely anxious about this for an entire day, after all.

The elevator doors once again slide open. 

Here goes nothing. You sigh. I’d better hear you talking today, Chuuya. You have a lot to tell me. And you’d better tell me it all.

You step outside the elevator. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing, and no one here. The halls are empty, and the strong scent of stale air, combined with dust fills your nostrils. You feel like coughing for a second, but you hold yourself back. You didn’t want to make any noise to give away your presence. You take another step.

Despite what the man said, it was clear that there was no one else there. No prison guards, no other cells inside. It was clearly a floor made, simply to detain one individual in particular. Isolated, and secure enough that they’d never be able to escape. Deep enough underground that they’d never even know where they were.

Your footsteps tap loudly against the concrete and echo everywhere around. As you walk down the hall, the lightbulbs behind you light up. The man had told you it was in the deepest part of the prison. However, what he didn’t account for, was that you had no idea how this floor was organized. 

Not to mention it was starting to get creepy really quickly. Although there should be nothing else in here, you were starting to get the sense that there was something dangerous that might lurk in the air. You tell yourself it’s probably just the dark and your own fatigue and you were imagining things.

The emptiness of the entire building creeps you out. It’s eerie. It feels like you were lead into the wrong location, and you were walking into a dead end. It almost felt almost like a trap that you had been lured into. And every second, the floor grew significantly more eerie. The lack of any presence and the darkness despite the very few lightbulbs attached to the ceiling enhanced that. 

I should be getting close now… right?

You were. You could see a light at the end of this hallway, which was illuminated with an orange light. It must have been where Chuuya’s cell was. There was no other place as illuminated as this, and there was no reason for it to be.

You had gotten this far. There was no reason you should be stopping now. Should you? The answer… you had always looked for, you could get it now.

Chuuya always hid something from me. He has never answered once, one of my questions. He’s never told me why he comes to my house every day, he never told me once why he was gone. For as long as I remember, I’ve been coming back from my job, and seeing him there. But one day, he disappeared. No reason why, no reason of how. He just did.

But apart from my job, there’s another piece missing to this puzzle. There’s something else that I’ve always wanted to ask him besides why he’s gone missing, and the explosion which I already had the answer to. He knows me, better than I know myself.

What was I before all of this happened?

I know there’s something before all of this. It just doesn’t add up. The man I saw in the mafia looked familiar. The building itself was in a place that I had felt I had been in at some time before. There’s deja vu there.

But when I first walked into the apartment, the first day before I saw Chuuya, I had jamais vu. A familiar place, that I didn’t know. And consequently, I couldn’t remember much before that. So what-

“I know you’re there, (Y/N). You’ve been standing there for quite some time.”

Shit.

Your thoughts are cut off by that voice you instantly knew. Chuuya was indeed, there. But his voice didn’t sound the same as you remember. There wasn’t any of the snarkiness, or egotistical attitude in his voice anymore. Instead, his voice was laced with aggression, and a malice that made you hesitant to even come forward.

You open your jaw to speak, but almost if Chuuya knew, he spoke before you. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to know why I left you, don’t you? I assume that someone has already told you about what happened on the day I stopped seeing you, and I’m sure you know all about the aftermath of that.”

You feel like you are doused in cold water. How did he know? Did he plan all of this. You want to open your mouth and tell him to slow down, but he continues, anyways.

“And you’ve been having deja vu for several days, too. You feel like you know the Port Mafia building, you feel like you recognize everything you saw, including my home.” Silence, as he pauses for a second. “So why don’t you… come and face me, and I’ll tell you what actually happened?”

“Chuuya-”

You hear no response. You sigh and walk towards his cell. You’re not ready to hear this, and you’re not sure you can face him.

He’s different. He’s not the same anymore. He sounds more violent, his composture is much less controlled than it was before. What…what happened to him?

And then you approach his cell. He’s got cuts everywhere, specifically the gash on his face. You instantly feel the need to run away, to get this image out of your mind. He was thin, his face was significantly more gaunt than it had been the last time you had seen him. And the most unsettling thing was how he was kept. Both arms were harshly chained to the ceiling and the wall. The chains were wrapped around his arms several times (you would assume most likely to stop him from breaking free), and they cut deeply into his arm. Then his body was also tightly bound to a chair, and his legs were bound to the chair’s legs. His body you noticed, was bound so tightly to the chair, you wonder how he still managed to breathe. Still, nothing would be as unnerving as to look at as his eyes. They were not dull per say, but they were empty. Not in the hopeless kind of way, but in the tormented sense that he had been tortured so badly that it would be unlikely he ever saw the light of day again.

Truly, he was a lost cause. You could only describe him as tortured and traumatized, as you couldn’t glance at him a second time.

“Hey. You done oogling yet?” His voice came out as almost an aggressive snarl, and you instantly look away. “Look at me.” You do your best to look at him, while trying to avoid looking at any part of his face in particular. You didn’t want to see it. Truly, you don’t want to look at him in any way whatsoever. So you settle on looking at a corner of his hair. The only thing that was still familiar to you.

“I said look at me. In the eyes.”

You don’t want to.

Chuuya sighs. “I know I probably look terrible right now, but please. Just do it. For the sake of me. Just look me in the eyes. It’ll probably be the last time I see someone for a long time.” He draws that last sentence out for longer than you expect, and you start to feel uneasy again, but you try to ignore that and ask him the question. The question you had been dying to ask for an undefined amount of time.

It’s a second before you can really bring yourself to ask it. “Chuuya. Where are my memories?” your mouth tightens… “Who am I? Why did you… do this?” You take a deep breath, to stop yourself. “Just tell me. Please.”

There’s another stretched-out pause before Chuuya responds again. “I knocked you out.”

“You… you what? N-no… you’re kidding right?” Your voice wavers slightly, before seeing Chuuya’s face again. He’s dead serious. “Why would you do this?”

“You were in danger. I couldn’t help it, alright?” He yelled, and you flinch. He takes a deep breath in again, slightly more calm, and continues. “Let me explain.”

“You were part of the Port Mafia, (Y/N). In fact, you, me, and Dazai used to be assigned to the same team all the time. Of course, it was always despicable working with Dazai. He never told us about anything, instead only telling us what to do, while he schemed about whatever he damn chose.”

“You can’t be serious…”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Do you think I’m joking right now? That I’m making a story and pulling it out of thin air for fun? You wanted answers. I’m giving them to you right now.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Chuuya ignores you and goes on. “Out of the three of us, you were always the weakest one, without a strong ability, nor any supportive abilities, however, we always had to drag you along anyways. To every mission gaven to us. Dazai would always make a plan, and we’d have to follow through. And if any of us ever messed up, we’d always get into trouble.”

“I bet you wanted to know how you got that bruise on your arm, that’s never healed, huh? Well, it’s cause you messed up one of the missions, and one of the higher-ups broke your arm. It never completely healed, and it was a warning that you should never mess up again.”

You look at your arm, where the ugly purple bruise marred your skin. It had never healed, and you couldn’t do anything heavy with it. Although it made a lot more sense than the reasoning you were told, you found this all too unreal. There was no way you were a mafia member. You were always weak. There would have been no reason for you to join. But even past the static buzzing in your brain, you could make out everything he said feeling familiar. As if your memories were just behind a wall you couldn’t break through.

“Still, I wasn’t able to do anything at the time, and Dazai didn’t care too much for you. The damned bastard treated everything and everyone like a chess piece, and played them as he wished. You were constantly treated as the runt of the three of us, and often used as the punching bag when missions weren’t successful. But, over time, you managed to become more ‘competent’ and not ‘drag us back’.”

“Of course, that all was, until the Dragon Head incident. All you need to know was that it was a bloody fight, and most of us were sent to deal with it.”

“As always, we were sent to deal with the mess. Dazai and I were obviously vanguards during the entire ordeal, and you were backup. When we had found the person behind it all, I used my own ability to kill him. We had won, but just barely.”

“You had managed to find the location of the man first, but you didn’t notify us. This person later told us that you actually refused to tell us. Ultimately, you botched Dazai’s plan, and almost destroyed an entire city, because you didn’t follow his instructions. Of course, Dazai was disappointed, even if he didn’t say anything. He essentially dismissed you, and planned to go back, and remove you from the Port Mafia. But, I didn’t want that.”

“So after a very long fight with Dazai, I managed to make a compromise with him. You would not be killed for betraying the Port Mafia, however, you wouldn’t be allowed to go back. But if I told you this, you would have rather accepted death, since the Port Mafia is the only thing you have ever known. You couldn’t go into the real world since you have no identity there.”

“So later that night, while you had looked like you were at least, partially asleep. I had no choice… but to give you severe head trauma, which would make you lose all your memories.”

There’s an unspoken silence between the two of you. You had always been told that your head was fragile. When you tried to think about your childhood or teenage years, your head would fill with static and it would hurt. Never had you ever expected it to be… this…

“You must be shocked. You probably think I’m not being serious, or that I’m joking. Well, I’m not done yet.”

“You were in a coma for years after that. For about two or three years, if I remember correctly. I had to make sure that you wouldn’t remember anything, so I bashed your head, pretty hard against the concrete. I brought you to the hospital after that, and told them that you had been injured badly, because you had attempted suicide. A balatant lie, but I couldn’t tell the doctors any more than that, otherwise I would have been detained.”

“For several years, you stayed in the hospital, completely unconscious. I’d visit you everyday, and see if you would wake up. At one point I had considered just giving up. But eventually, you did wake up. But, you didn’t have an identity in the real world, let alone education, or anything that would let you survive. When you were discharged, I paid a company to forge you a fake identity, which is what you live by now.”

“I’ve watched over you for so long, (Y/N). You once asked me what you needed to be protected from. I didn’t answer that question because I didn’t think it was the right time to let you know the truth. Alas, you’ve come searching for the truth yourself. The Port Mafia was after you for a long time. I had to constantly monitor you, you were constantly on my mind every day. And even when you were discharged from the hospital, I still had to watch over you while you slept. They wanted to kill you. I didn’t want you dead, in fact how could I?” Chuuya laughs in bitterness. “I loved you for a long time. I did all of this to make sure I’d be able to see you happy, for once. And you were. You moved into society rather nicely. You were simply not meant to be part of the Mafia, despite the potential in your ability.”

“You have the gun I left on my desk, didn’t you? You knew you had to take it because you might have been in danger.”

“Chuuya… stop.” You’re still in shock, but you know you’ll never properly remember any of your memories now. You can only trust him. Whatever he says, you have to believe. He’s not lying. He never was lying.

“That was Dazai’s gun. The gun he left before he killed himself.”

“No… please. Stop. Chuuya. Don’t do this please…”

He chuckles. “I have no merit in my future, I am simply left to rot and die here. You wouldn’t understand, (Y/N). I spent so much time in my life for you, that it would have been simpler to just kill you. But I can’t do that.”

“But in a life where you don’t return any of that to me isn’t worth living either…”

“CHUUYA,” you scream. “Stop this. Don’t…”

“So shoot me please. I know you’re dying to do it. You brought the gun with you, you wanted to kill me. I know you do. Why? You’ve reached into your pockets serveral times while I was telling your past. My life is hopeless, completely doomed. I’ve lost everything I once had, except for you. And I can’t even see you now.”

“So kill me. Put me out of my own misery.”

He smiles, in a twisted sort of way, expecting you to shoot.

“You won’t regret it.”

And it’s true. You were planning on killing him, but you don’t want to now. But if what he said was true, you were also ruthless as he was. You had to make a choice, quickly.

Your hands move faster than your mind, and you can’t stop yourself.

You shoot once. Once at his chest.

You can’t bear to see what you did.

But you also can’t see control what you were going to do next. You hear another gunshot being fired, and you weren’t if it was from yourself, or maybe someone else in the floor.

Your vision stops and you feel yourself falling to the ground.

[thescentoflavender]

MLQC CN: Chapter 37, Xu Mo’s Route (Part 5 of 5)

“Parting also has its own meaning, does it not?”

Complete at long last! 

I think MC cries the most in this route—perfect for angst lovers like me. (Cue recommended song at the bottom of this post.)

Read the other parts here:

Summary of Chapters 1-36

Summary of Chapter 37, Parts 1-4

Chapter 37, Xu Mo’s Route (Part 1 of 5)

Chapter 37, Xu Mo’s Route (Part 2 of 5)

Chapter 37, Xu Mo’s Route (Part 3 of 5)

Chapter 37, Xu Mo’s Route (Part 4 of 5)

Dedicated to @superlemniscate.

---

~Please don’t repost this translation in any way.~

Down the stairs I kept on running. In the vastness of the night, the path beneath my feet was the only thing that was real.

As if I knew someone was waiting for me at my destination, every step I took felt certain, safe.

Before me, the white dots of light sparkled and grew. Gradually, everything I could see was swamped by blinding light.

Finally, I stopped. 

Rubbing my eyes groggily, I realised that the final day had arrived at last, without any fanfare.

Today, I planned to visit an old rendezvous spot with Xu Mo. 

By the time I had finished all my work, evening had arrived. When I had finally managed to rush down to the entrance of the park, Xu Mo was already waiting for me there.

[MC]: Sorry, I’m sorry that I’m late by two minutes! This park is too big…

Xu Mo: It is of no consequence. Just remember to make this time up to me. 

Saying this, Xu Mo took my hand, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and began walking.

[MC]: Uh, are we going to walk over?

Xu Mo: At the pace at which we’re walking, I fear we’ll miss the comets tonight. 

Xu Mo: We’ll be taking the bus.

[MC]: How can the bus be in operation today…

Xu Mo: A miracle might happen for all we know. 

Xu Mo smiled. In the dim light, his profile was nothing but gentle. 

Tilting my head to one side, I studied him, reluctant to shift my gaze.

Suddenly, I wished that the road we were walking on would never end. That way, we could keep on walking. Even if we had to remain in this moment forever, it didn’t seem too bad either.

Before we could reach the bus stop, the street behind us was suddenly bathed in light. A bus was actually approaching us slowly.

[MC]: !

Xu Mo: It seems that it is indeed a special day today.

The entire bus was empty, save for the driver and the two of us passengers. 

Originally, this bus service was only supposed to run in the city. However, for some reason, the driver had driven into the countryside today, and even agreed to send us to our destination.

[MC]: Thank you, Captain! We were about to walk there ourselves. 

Driver: Haha, I should be the one thanking you instead. I can’t believe that I managed to get passengers today, and better still, a pair of romantic youngsters. 

[MC]: But will we delay your own plans?

The driver appeared stunned for a split second. Then he laughed.

Driver: I’ve driven this bus for more than half my life. To be able to send the two of you to your destination safely during this last journey… I have no more regrets.

For a moment, none of us spoke. After a while, I spoke in a hushed tone.

[MC]: Thank you.

The bus continued onward at an even speed. As if the entire world was immersed in this endless night, every minor detail seemed impossibly precious.

In about half an hour’s time, the bus slowed to a stop. After bidding goodbye to the driver, Xu Mo and I began walking towards that magnificent sandalwood tree.

Its limbs extended and laden with leaves, the tree stood there, a towering presence. Even now, even when everything around it had fallen into deep slumber, it whispered of life and hope.

[MC]: This is the first time I’ve felt that a night can be so long. 

[MC]: It reminds me of something I heard a long time back: In the darkness of the night, we often pass by others’ lives. 

[MC]: But thankfully, I didn’t pass by yours.

Craning my neck, I turned back to look at Xu Mo. Then I raised my hand, joined with his, and gave it a wave.

Above, the stars dotted the inky blue expanse of sky in a dazzling display, their light spilling down softly on the curve of Xu Mo’s lips.

Surreptitiously, I rose on tiptoe and grazed over that curve—that curve which was bent to just the right degree.

In the night breeze, the leaves of the sandalwood tree rustled noisily, much like every moment which had ever passed between us. 

[MC]: Xu Mo, I think I should be leaving soon.

[MC]: Actually, you’ve long since known what I’ll be setting off to do, haven’t you?

Xu Mo didn’t speak, merely raising a hand and ruffling my hair. 

Xu Mo: Are you afraid?

Subconsciously, I nodded. Then I hurriedly shook my head.

[MC]: I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if you’ll be there.

[MC]: I don’t know if we’ll ever get to do all those things we promised to do again.

[MC]: And I don’t know… if I’ll forget you.

[MC]: Because there are too many things I don’t know. Because of the unknown, I’m afraid.

[MC]: ...I know that I sound really silly right now. But no matter what, I won’t retreat in fear again.

[MC]: So, Xu Mo, I hope you’ll believe that I can do it.

Xu Mo: Silly girl.

Gazing at me, emotion roiled in Xu Mo’s eyes.

Xu Mo: I’ve always believed in you. Because you’re far more powerful than what I imagined.

Xu Mo: You were the one who gave me the opportunity to experience so many “firsts”.

Xu Mo: You were also the one who made me feel something—indescribable.

Xu Mo: Do you remember what I said earlier? Between the two of us, it is I who need you more. 

Xu Mo: So, you can do it. Because I have already taken this for granted.

[MC]: ...So you’ve never forgotten all the memories of us?

Xu Mo: I can recall some fragments, yes. They’re not unlike a dream.

Xu Mo: But everything I’ve experienced with you, every word I’ve ever spoken to you—these memories cannot be more real. 

Xu Mo: Say, isn’t it incredible?

Xu Mo’s speech reminded me of all that had occurred in that space. I had assumed that I would be the sole bearer of those memories.

Carrying those faraway memories with them, the ashes filling the sky drifted back to us. Then they landed softly on the ground, forming a path which disappeared into the distance.

I knew then: I already had the best weapon for resisting the unknown.

Xu Mo: [MC]. The purpose of our memory isn’t to store information, but to see the future through our past.

Xu Mo: At its heart, it is unreal, malleable to our likings and whims. Ergo, I do not need you to remember me, or everything about us, in such a way. 

Xu Mo: I hope the person you grow into is one changed only by me. 

Xu Mo: And that you use that self to reunite with the future us. 

As he said this, Xu Mo cupped my cheek, brushing it with the pad of his thumb, before bending down. A familiar warmth landed first on the top of my forehead, then my eyes, and then the tip of my nose… 

For a moment, his body stilled. Both his hands trembled slightly. 

Opening my eyes, I caught the sorrow that flashed in those dark eyes gazing at me.

Xu Mo: [MC], it is time.

Following his gaze, I saw feathers float past my cheek. Slowly, the hair at my scalp was transforming into translucent white feathers.

As some invisible force seemed to tug me backwards, I frantically grabbed onto Xu Mo. 

Xu Mo: Don’t cry.

[MC]: I don’t want to cry either… I’m not scared either, truly, I’m not. I only…

Miss you too much.

Biting on my lip, I lowered my head. But the tears continued to fall, unheeding of restraint.

Xu Mo: I understand.

Xu Mo: But humans are fragile. This is perfectly normal. 

Xu Mo: You can be afraid, you can be reluctant to part. You can cry before me.

Xu Mo: Because I hope that when you’re before me, you’ll always be your truest self. 

Xu Mo: It’s only that… I am very greedy.

Xu Mo: I have no desire for others to see your tears, to see that fragile side to you.

Xu Mo paused. Through the haze of my tears, I could just about make out his eyes, rimmed with red.

Xu Mo: Parting also has its own meaning, does it not?

Xu Mo: It is because of these bad times that our reunion in the future will be full of pleasant surprises. 

Xu Mo: So don’t cry anymore. Promise me that.

[MC]: Okay. I’ll promise you anything.

Nodding forcefully, I desperately tried to swipe the tears off my cheeks. Through all of this, I refused to let go of Xu Mo’s hand.

Until a white glow started to appear around my fingertips, and my vision began to blur.

I knew there wasn’t much time left.

[MC]: Xu Mo, will you be waiting for me there?

Xu Mo remained silent, emotion churning in his narrow eyes.

Xu Mo: I should like you to find out the answer to this question yourself.

Xu Mo: When we meet again.

Xu Mo: Don’t forget, you are still my Special Assistant.

[MC]: Isn’t the month up today?

Xu Mo: No, it isn’t time yet.

Xu Mo: It is now 5.01 in the afternoon. From the very moment that you promised to become my Special Assistant, you still owe me three whole minutes. 

Xu Mo: Including the two minutes for which you were late, you now owe me five minutes in total. 

Xu Mo: Compensating me will not be as simple as returning only five minutes to me. We will need to re-evaluate the situation when we meet again. 

Xu Mo: So, [MC], do you want to do the counting for yourself?

[MC]: Xu Mo, you…

Xu Mo: It seems now that there is no other way but to return me this time.

[MC]: I will. Promise me that you won’t lie to me again. 

Xu Mo: I will not renege on my promise.

Xu Mo: [MC]...

Xu Mo: I won’t miss you very much. Because I believe that you can—will—continue on your journey step by step, drawing upon your own strength.

Xu Mo: All of my efforts are for the very moment when we meet again. 

I heard him call my name softly, but the next second, I could hear nothing else.

Xu Mo’s last sentence was drowned in the dazzling light. As the girl vanished with the wind, so did his words. 

Silently, he stood rooted to the spot.

Perhaps it was his anticipation for the future that broke his regret for the past. Xu Mo let out a light chuckle.

When he looked up again, his expression had become as unreadable and distant as ever.

In the dark, under the sandalwood tree, the man turned and started walking in the reverse direction of the drifting feathers. 

-END OF XU MO’S ROUTE-

Recommended song: 

[xopinkmilk18xo]

Get to know me!

1. Name

Courtney Jane Smith

2. Nationality

Australian

3. Age

18

4. Birthday

11th December 2001

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)

Sagittarius / Ophiuchus

6. Gender

Female

7. Sexuality

Bisexual💙💖💜

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Ew I know

9. What do you/did you study?

I will be going on to study Children’s Nursing at University but in school I studied Sociology, Photography and Childcare

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?

I currently hold a part time job at my local corner shop, but will hopefully end up with a job as a children’s nurse or something to do with childcare:)

-

11. Your birth order

Aaron, Charlotte, Abbey, Me:), Lacey

(I think that is what this means)

12. How many siblings do you have?

4

13. Do you have good relations with your family?

Yes but not with my first oldest sister

14. How many friends do you have?

Like 2 lol

15. Your relationship status

Taken🥰

16. What do you look for in a SO?

Good personality, being good looking helps (dont want to date a troll u know) and well I guess that’s it really

17. Do you have a crush?

Yes on my boyfriend

18. When did you have your first kiss?

When I was 14

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Serious and meaningful

20. What are your deal breakers?

I’m not really sure:/

-

21. How was your day?

It was okay, could’ve been better but overall it was meh

22. Favourite food & drink

I love pasta like I could marry pasta haha. And my favourite drink is probably either fresh orange juice or something fizzy

23. What position do you sleep in?

On my side, hugging my pillow with my leg out as if it’s straddling someone (I’m lonely, my boyfriend needs to stay over at some point)

24. What was your last dream about?

I honestly wish I could remember but they are so fucking crazy right now

25. Your fears

Spiders, snakes, heights, large crowds, death (morbid I know) and being lonely:(

26. Your dreams

To travel the world with my baby🥺 as well as buy my own house, get my dream career, get married and have babies (basic I know but this is what I want in life and will feel so lucky and blessed if this happens)

27. Your goals

Same as the above I guess? To travel the world with the loml, become a child nurse, get my dream house then get married, have babies and live a happy long life:)

28. Any pets?

Yes! A cat called Binka and a dog called Shiro (Japanese for White as he is a white Japanese Akita)

29. What are your hobbies?

Cooking, baking, cleaning (weird I know), singing, dancing and sleeping haha

30. Any cool places in your area?

Um, I mean I live about 30 minutes from the beach and it has a “hidden cave” (it’s quite easy to spot if you know where it is) that I go to with a few friends some nights and watch the sunset. So that’s pretty cool

31. What was your last awkward situation?

They happen so often I don’t even know which one to write about I’m such an awkward person lol

32. What is your last regret?

I don’t know really

33. Language/s you can speak

I can speak Italian, Spanish, Russian and some French

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

To a certain extent, yes

35. Have any quirks?

Um I’m not sure?

36. Your pet peeves

I have so many but my BIGGEST pet peeve is the people who like to one-up a situation so I have a friend like this but she’s like one of my only friends so I don’t want to say anything woops but for example I could say to her “I only got 5 hours sleep” she would then turn around and be like “oh well I went to bed at 11 and woke up at 3am and couldn’t sleep” it’s like okay cool but stop trying to one up me thank u bye

37. Ideal vacation

DisneyWorld or Bora Bora (two complete different places I know but I’ve been to both many times and they’re both amazing)

38. Any scars?

I have a scar on my chin from when I hit it on the stair rail when I was a child and I have a surgery scar from when I had my appendix removed

39. What does your last text message say?

It’s me texting my email to my boyfriend because he needed it for something (kinda personal nothing bad tho)

40. Last 5 things from your search history

Majority of it right now is me googling Birthday presents for a family member as well as flight times because I was curious what the time from LA to Texas was haha

41. What’s your [device] background?

Lock screen is me and my boyfriend and my home screen is a flower picture I took

42. What do you daydream about?

A lot of different things, it all depends on how I’m feeling

43. Describe your dream home

Something small and quaint yet modern and big enough to raise a big family

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion

I have nothing against religion and what people believe in. I personally am not religious but I do believe in something. Not God or Jesus but I believe that something like that HAS to exists (sorry if I offended anyone I really did not mean to:/)

45. Your personality type

Really shy and quiet (social anxiety tings😚dont worry I have actually been diagnosed) but ince you get to know me I come out of my shell a bit more

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done

Went sky diving (it was terrifying)

47. Are you happy with your current life?

Yes but no

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life

I don’t really know how the hell to answer this question I’m sorry🥺

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?

A lot of different colours but I wear mainly grey and black clothes hehe

50. Favourite colour to wear?

Black or grey🤪

51. How would you describe your style?

I don’t really know, definitely not trendy I can tell you that but all the styles I want to try I just KNOW will look bad on me

52. Are you happy with your current looks?

Not really no lol😚✌🏼

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I honestly would change my entire face, especially my nose, if it was smaller I’d feel slightly better about my appearance (nothing against big noses lol I just don’t like mine)

54. Any tattoos or piercings?

I had my ears and nose pierced but took them out and just forgot to put them back in and now the holes have sorta closed up.

I then also have a small turtle on my ankle - for a close friend (still alive lol but it’s just a nice thing to have) and I have plans to get a few more just need to decided when I want them because I keep chickening out

55. Do you get complimented often?

Yes sorta but only by my boyfriend

56. Favourite aesthetic?

I’m not sure?

57. A popular trend that you dislike

I’m not really aware of any popular trends as of right now tbh

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?

Adore You by Harry Styles and for some reason Feel so Close by Calvin Harris

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.

Mr Brightside - I hate the song (dont attack me pls) but it lowkey, high key is a BOP

60. Favourite genre?

Mainly throwback songs so I guess pop songs? Tbh my genre of music is all over the place

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?

I love 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction but that’s it really

62. Hated popular songs/artists?

I HATE Dance Monkey and High Hopes (they get on my nerves so much idk why)

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5

September - Earth Wind & Fire

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

Jealous - Labrinth

Bad Romance - Halestorm (such a bop)

Break Free - Ariana Grande

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing, I also play piano and guitar (strings have broken though and so haven’t played in a while)

65. Do you like karaoke?

I LOVE karaoke

66. Own any albums?

Yes, mainly 5SOS and One Direction haha

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?

Sometimes, no particular station as I only listen to it to fill in the silence in certain situations

-

68. Favourite movie/series?

I love the Frozen films but also the Harry Potter films sooooo much

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc

I don’t really have a favourite tbh

70. Your fictional crush/es

I know it’s typical but I have the biggest crush on Harry Potter lol

71. Which fictional character is you?

I don’t know?

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so

No not really

73. Favourite greek god?

I don’t have a favourite Greek god but I like Athena purely because I like the name haha

74. A legend from where you live that you like

I don’t really know of any legends however there is a myth that a Panther is on the loose in the Blue Mountains

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?

I like to look at art and admire it however I do not have a favourite artist or anything like that

76. Can you share your other social media?

I sure can:)

Twitter       Instagram      Wattpad

Snapchat - cjmushmush (you don’t have to add it and also don’t question the name I was 11)

77. Favourite youtubers?

Shane Dawson, Ryland Adams, Morgan Adams, Jeffree Star and The Dolan Twins

78. Favourite platform?

I am obsessed with Tik Tok so I’d say that’s probs my fave

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?

Far too much I can tell you that

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?

I used to play minecraft and now all I do is play Sims 3 and 4 which are my absolute faves

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)

I don’t really have any

82. Do you play board/card games?

Yes but not very often

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?

No I didn’t even know that was a thing

84. Favourite holiday

I LOVE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH❤️💚❤️💚

85. Are you into dramas?

Yes

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?

I don’t know what a death note is?

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I wouldn’t choose world peace because then everything would be the same and it would be boring but if I had the power I would make sure everyone had a stable home with at least hot clean water and a nice warm bed, as well as curing world hunger because I’m nice like that

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Probably not

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?

A ghost

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Become a ghost haha

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

Anything but Courtney - my name was almost Octavia so that would also be out of the question

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?

So many people I’d love to do this with so I’m not sure

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo

🦥 (only because I love sloths)

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

(these are the most random things I’m sorry)

I was born in the UK (not true, born in Sydney)

I am not single (True, I am in a relationship:))

I love avocado (I actually DESPISE IT)

-

95. Cold or hot?

Cold because that can = snuggles duh

96. Be a hero or be a villain?

Be a villain because I hate the attention (hero would probs get a lot of attention) and everyone hates me anyway lol

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Probably sing everything considering I do that a lot anyway

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Control time because I’d go back to the past a change some things then go back to today so I can still be with my boyfriend❤️

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Be immortal that would be pretty fun

100. ….. or …..?

What does this one even mean?

[nutslovesdolts]

Qrowin week day 3 (give it up for day three)

so yeah I wrote this now, it’s almost 2am and I gotta wake up early, who even reads this part anyways haha, enjoy

Scarf

It had been an hour since Tai and the entirety of team RWBY and… JNR(?) had left Winter and Qrows small festive home in the woods, the small cabin was built by the pair only 3 months previous. Winter had been completely turned off at the idea of any kind of shows of wealth or grandeur by her father, and Qrow never had much to begin with and liked this kind of small cozy nest like home.

2 years ago Winter had confessed to Qrow her true feelings, feelings that she was always taught to suppress through her life, but that was just it. When she was around Qrow she could let it all out, and she knew he could take it and wanted more.

Qrow had planned on confessing to her on that exact same day, and after a heated but regulated duel overseen by Ironwood who labeled it as a “training exercise” (both Qrow and Winter had spoken to him about their true intentions previously but unknown from one another)

The entire second floor was their bedroom completed by its own fireplace to match the one downstairs, a extremely re-enforced bed which its supports already showed signs of wear and tear, and a few end tables with lamps and the like, there was one closet where they both kept around 37 copies of the exact same every day clothing and about 3 extra clothing items for special occasions, with one dresser at the far end of the room next to the stairs.

The ground floor was wider and was made up of three rooms, the living room, which had chairs and a small couch surrounding the fireplace where a hearty fire was softly crackling, leftover wrapping paper from the guests earlier were glistening in the flickering light.

The other room was the small kitchen that smelled strongly of hazelnut and gingerbread

And of course a workroom filled with all sorts of odds and ends for the two to repair and tinker with their weapons.

Winter sat on the couch resting her head on Qrows shoulder, the firelight dancing on her face, she had never been happier in her entire life, right now she had no worries, no responsibilities, and could simply be at peace.

She snuggled closer to Qrow and let out a content hum

Qrow was more relaxed then he had thought humanly (or avianly) possible, It would almost be concerning for him if it weren't for the love of his life cuddling close by his side. He had always assumed because of his semblance that he would live alone somewhere, but as luck would have it, Winter didn’t mind a slip up here or there, as she put it It kept life interesting.

I wonder if she'll like it, he thought to himself. Winter wasn't exactly the easiest person to buy for, she hated anything overly extravagant or intricate except when it came to weapons. She also somehow knew exactly what to buy for Qrow, not once had she failed to deliver something he didn’t cherish to this day. For her, nothing in the world was good enough. That's why he decided not to simply buy anything, but to attempt to make it. He already knew how to sew as his cape managed to get torn to shreds every time a grimm got near him, not to mention back in the tribe it was how they kept themselves together, in just about every sense.

Winter stirred next to him, lifting her loving beautiful face so that they locked eyes

I never knew this was all I wanted Qrow, she sighed in peace. Just you and me, some peace and quiet, and all the time in the world just for us.

Qrow leaned in and gently pressed on her lips with his so they were eye to eye. Everything I ever dreamed about is currently two inches from my face and aaalllll mine, I agree, this is the life he said with his playful smirk.

That look was something that drove Winter wild, after their duel at Atlas when she confessed to him her feelings, he had used that same look before laughing, but not a cold cruel laugh like she was expecting at the time, but a warm loving laugh that told her everything she needed to know.

She leaned in and kissed him gently, slowly getting more aggressive with each passing second.

Qrow pulled back gasping for air, dang Ice Queen, your gonna suck the life outa me before the fun begins haha

Winter Blushed a deep scarlet red and pulled back off of him, You know I can't help it she giggled, Oh! Qrow I almost forgot. She said reaching behind the couch, Please open mine first, og but open the small one first! She said obviously trying to hide her excitement

Two of em Ice Queen? Must be a pretty special occasi… Qrow had been gingerly unwrapping the smaller gift to find a stuffed crow wearing a small cable knit sweater with a snowflake on it.

Qrow just stared at it for a moment taking in the idea of wearing this around the kingdoms when in bird form… yeah maybe around the house for Winters sake, but no one else could know

Qrow sighed and quickly turned into bird form noseing his way into the snugly fitting sweater

Winter covered her mouth with both hands to keep her explosion of laughter contained, she went red faced from the pressure and burst out in the most beautiful laughter Qrow had ever heard.

As he turned back to human form she gave Winter a playful sideways look, Only for you Ice Queen hehe, only for you

Winter finally gasped for air from her laughter and threw her arms around Qrow, I knew you’d look cute in it haha, she stated triumphantly, OOO now open the other one she said practically jumping up and down in her seat.

Qrow started unwrapping the small box carefully. He hadn't seen her that happy since they finished the house hehe

Under the paper the box was black with a red bow, as Qrow moved the bow out of the way and opened the box, he found a single bronze gear at the bottom, Last month in a battle with an extremely oversized Grimm that looked like a nevermore but with bladed wings, Qrow’s Scythe Harbinger had taken a hard blow shattering one near irreplaceable gear (the craftsman who had made the gears had died during a horrible grimm attack on his remote village, no other craftsman had yet been able to replicate this delicate piece) vital to its transformation, just his luck eh? Qrow would have been utterly emotionally defeated if it weren't for Winter,he spent a vast majority of his time searching for a replacement but found he was now stuck with only one form, at least until after the holidays.

For the first time in a long time Qrow felt his eyes water up a little bit. Winter noticed this and wiped them away and looked him dead in the eyes. Now you better not have gotten rusty over this last month, she cooed, We can’t have a under practiced bird prot… OOF… before she could finish Qrow had rushed in and given her a long deep kiss.

How did you even, he started but was cut off by Winter placing a finger to his lips, It’s my secret, she said with a devilish smirk, and you'll have to try MUCH harder to get that out of me tonight, she said in a slow seductive tone.

Qrow felt his mouth water a bit at the thought but quickly brushed away the thought as he reached behind the couch and pulled out his seamingly meger gift for her, he knew it would pale in comparison to the lengths she had gone to, but he hoped with all his heart she would at least like it.

Winter slowly examined the long flat rectangular box, it almost seemed weightless.

Qrow watched nervously as she started pulling the lid off the box, her eyes widened as she looked inside.

Winter pulled out a long obviously handsewed Light and dark blue scarf with snowflake inlays almost identical to her glyphs, at the center of each glyph was a small image of a black crow, inlaid in the background of the scarf were beautiful depictions of small villages and at the opposite end of the scarf was a picture of the arena where she had confessed to him, At the center was a note.

You are all I am, my beautiful snowflake

The other side of the scarf was bland and seemed to fit the military dress code matching her uniform, It was carefully tailored to blend in with her Jacket without detracting from the uniformity of the military

Winter felt a large mass of tears well up in her eyes before she started full on crying, all manner of grace and order lost

Qrow gave her a huge hug, regret building up in his chest, He knew it was too much, he knew it would remind her of her childhood, all this dark thoughts building up in his mind caused him to start to shake, until winter placed her hands on his cheeks and looked at him through teary eyes,

Did you make this? She asked through tears

Yeah… Qrow said roughly, he couldn’t meet her eyes

Winter pulled him into a passionate kiss completely upending Qrow causing them to both fall over into the couch.

Qrow, Winter said, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…. When did you learn to.. She was stopped by Qrow with that same playful look in his eye, all negative feelings gone in a flash, he placed one finger on her lips and seductively said, Well I guess you’ll have to try MUCH harder to get that out of me Ice Quee...nn… he trailed off, he was met with the most longing and starving look Winter eyes had ever betrayed, like a cat about to pounce

He was instantly tackled tackled by Winter

It would be a great night after all

-------------

OOF IT’S 1:45 NOW AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY

Hope you all enjoy, I just keep writing so I guess we'll see if it lets me post it all

This is my third ever fic, Just figured Id write it now just in case I lose motivation again

HAPPY QROWIN WEEK

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

[ryttu3k]

Let’s do the whole thing because why not XD

For the asks I got: @ladynorbert​ asked 15, 35, and 40, and @lumaphoenix​ asked 9, 26, and 38! Italicising those questions!

1. First things first, did you have a good year? *wiggly hand gesture*

2. How old did you turn this year? 31. Right near the end, though.

3. Do you feel your age? Man, with my collagen I feel 81.

4. Did your appearance change in anyway? My hair grew about an inch?

5. Post your favorite selfie. Nah.

6. If you traveled, where did you go? Went down to Sydney for a concert and stayed overnight. It’s about an hour and a half away.

7. Which fashion trends did you love? b o t a n i c a l s

8. Which fashion trends did you hate? The rest of them.

9. What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? Flowery space smile shirt!

10. What song sums up this year for you? Pick one, haha.

11. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? The Breath of the Wild soundtrack!

12. What was your favorite movie of the year? Rogue One came out late enough last year that it counts, I think.

13. Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? First time? Nah, but I continue to adore the Star Wars cast <3

14. Favorite new TV show? The Librarians :D I mean it’s not new new, but it’s new to me this year!

15. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? There was that brief but very enthusiastic DDADDS surge! But then back to business as usual with Zelda, Pokemon, and Star Wars, yeah. BotW is a new subset of Zelda fandom, at least!

16. What food did you try for the first time? I discovered furikake seasoning (without fish). I love it.

17. Did you make any big permanent changes this year? Nah. I started regularly dislocating my wrist in my sleep, though!

18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else? If I say, it doesn’t count any more!

19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself? Lush baths. Good shit.

20. Did you develop a new obsession? Bullet journalling, like, right at the end, haha.

21. Did you vote? Yup, just a local council election and in the marriage equality survey.

22. Did you move? / 23. Did you get a job? / 24. Did you get a pet? Nope!

25. Do you regret not doing anything? Researching tomatoes more. We attempted to grow them and lmfao fail.

26. Do you regret doing something? Apologies for the weak-ass answer, but not really!

27. Have you done anything that scared you? Not enough.

28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? God fucking politics.

29. Did you lose anyone close to you? My paternal grandmother died, but we weren’t close (I hadn’t actually seen her for a couple of years), so I’m not sure that counts...

30. Did you fall in love? / 31. Did you fall out of love? / 32. Did you start a new relationship? / 33. Did you go through a break up? / 34. Did you have to cut ties to someone? Nope!

35. Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? Some of the friends I’ve made, maybe?

36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? I’m drawing a blank here.

37. If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? Nah. I don’t fuck with causality that way.

38. What was the best moment of the year for you? Symphony of the Goddesses on a personal note, marriage equality finally passing in Australia on a broader note!

39. What was the worst? *lies down on the floor*

40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? Oh, hmm. Nothing really comes to mind, I’m afraid.

41. Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? Again, nothing comes to mind. Sorry!

42. What are you most proud of accomplishing? Finished first drafts of the entire Synth trilogy!

43. What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? More health shit, haha. Also, how far my patience can stretch with my grandmother, I guess? (She has dementia.)

44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? There were a lot of cool people this year!

45. Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? ...And a lot of shit ones, yes.

46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? / 47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? Nope :D

48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this? There’s five and a quarter hours left of the year, not really doable!

49. What do you wish for others for the coming year? Peace, happiness, stability.

50. What do you wish for yourself? Sure, let’s go with the above, haha.

[chelsorz07]

i feel like these are getting redundant but i’m bored

2010/2017 1. Last beverage: water. Frozen pumpkin latte from Sheetz.

2. Last phone call: from my dad, like three or four hours ago. Called work today to let them know I was coming in early.

3. Last text message: from michele. Dave.

4. Last song you listened to: whatever's in the background on degrassi. “All I Wanted” - Paramore.

5. Last time you cried: today. Not sure. Maybe a few days ago.

Have you ever:

6. Dated someone twice: yeah. Yup.

7. Been cheated on: yep. Yeah well.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: not entirely. I don’t regret any of them, but I’m certainly glad I ended up with the one I did.

9. Lost someone special: indeed. If I lost them, they couldn’t have been too special.

10. Been depressed: ha. Only for fifteen years.

11. Been drunk and thrown up: quite recently lol Not for a couple months. Before that it was years.

List 3 favorite colors:

12. green.

13. purple.

14. silver. Green, grey, plaid.

This year have you:

15. Made a new friend: a couple. Ehh more like acquaintances. I don’t need more friends than the two I have. 

16. Fallen out of love: no. but i have let go of hoping i could get it back. That’s never gonna happen.

17. Laughed until you cried: yes. and vice versa. This year yeah, but not recently. I don’t leave my house unless it’s to go to work, and nothing is amusing there.

18. Met someone who changed you: not this year. Nope.

19. Found out who your true friends were: more than you could imagine. I found that out when I moved here and all my friends except Mike and Amanda dropped me like a hot potato.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: daily. I don’t think so but I wouldn’t care if they were.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yep. Well yeah, my spousal unit.

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: all. On tumblr? Like four.

23. How many kids do you want: none. One.

24. Do you have any pets: no. My kitties. Marshall, Millie, Selina, and Thomas.

25. Do you want to change your name: not really. I’ve never liked it but i’m too old and set in my ways to change it now.

26. What did you do for your last birthday: got drunk. Went home for a week and it was fabulous.

:27. What time did you wake up today: 7:30, like every day. 12:30pm. But I didn’t go to sleep till 8:30am.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night : watching tv with my dad. Either watching Gotham or Youtube idk.

30. Last time you saw your Mother: right before i came upstairs. A couple weeks ago.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: where i live and with whom. also, the amount in my bank account. Where I live. But not with whom. Also still the amount in my bank account.

32. What are you listening to right now: commercials. The whirring of my laptop fan.

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: many. Several.

34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: no one. i'm ignoring the world. Nobody.

35. Most visited webpage: facebook and TFLN. Facebook, Youtube, and Netflix.

36. Whats your real name? chelsea wilton. Chelsea Lipps.

37. Nickname: don't have one anymore. because the people that called me by my nickname turned out not to be my real friends. so yeah. Same.

38. Relationship Status: single. Married.

39. Zodiac sign: leo. Obvs that didn’t change.

40. Male or female: female. Female.

41. Primary School: ggb. Same.

42. Middle School: fretz. Same.

43. High school/college: bradford high. Same.

44. Hair color: brown. Red.

45. Long or short: too long. Medium but still too long.

46. Height: 5'6'' Same.

47. Do you have a crush on someone: only eli on degrassi :) haha Celebs.

48. What do you like about yourself: not a whole lot. My face. And I’m hilarious.

49. Piercings: ears. None.

50. Tattoos: one for now. Two, but more to come.

51. Righty or Lefty? left. Lefty.

52. First surgery: tonsillectomy. I’ve only had two. The tonsillectomy when I was 10 and my gallbladder when I was 24.

53. First piercing: ears. Ears.

54. First best friend: nicole. Nicole.

55. First sport you joined: cheerleading. Cheerleading.

56. First vacation: never been on one. my family took their first this past summer but i elected not to go. Georgia/Tennessee/Kentucky.

57. Ummm...where'd this question go?   It died. I’m more concerned that half of them have the same answers because it’s shit that can’t change.

58. First pair of trainers: what? I have no freaking clue. But I only wear Nikes now, if that helps.

Right now:

59. Eating: halloween candy. Nothing.

60. Drinking: water. Coffee.

61. I'm about to: go to bed. Watch something else because my tv is pissing me off too much to catch up on Gotham.

62. Listening to: degrassi. Nothing.

63. Waiting for: jeff to call me tomorrow so i can get my job back. To find a house in Bradford so we can move home.

Your Future:

64. Want kids: no. Yes. I’m already a year past when I wanted to have one.

65. Get married: probably not. Already am.

66. Career: i haven't decided yet. It’s too late for me to have a career. I’m just gonna work shit jobs till I die.

Which is better in the opposite sex?

67. Lips or eyes: eyes. Eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses: both. Hugs.

69. Shorter or taller: taller than me but still under 6'. Taller. I’m not quite as picky about how much anymore. But Dave is only 2′’ taller than me and that’s quite nice.

70. Older or younger: haha i liked aaron's cougar answer. for me though, most definitely older. but younger than my sister. Older.

71. Romantic or spontaneous: both. Neither.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms. Arms.

73. Sensitive or confident: both. Both.

74. Hook-up or relationship: at the moment i don't think i want either. Relationship.

Have you ever:

76. Kissed a stranger: well...haha A couple.

77. Drank hard liquor:  sure. Yeah but I don’t anymore.

78. Lost glasses/contacts: only temporarily. Within my domicile. 

80. Broken someone's heart: supposedly. He claims so.

82. Been arrested: not yet lol Almost but no.

83. Turned someone down: yep. Yeah.

84. Cried when someone died: everything makes me cry. Yes but I still cry all the time regardless.

Do you believe in:

86. Yourself:  no. Nope.

87. Miracles: no. No.

88. Love at first sight: no. Ehh kinda.

89. Heaven: no. No.

90. Santa Claus: no. No.

91. Kiss on the first date: yeah. Yep.

Answer truthfully:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: never. Not at a time.

95. Did you sing today: every day. I sing all the time.

96. Ever cheated on somebody: never have, never will. Nope.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: i wouldn't. Still wouldn’t. I wanna go forward.

98. The moment you would choose to relive: what's the point in dwelling on the past? i'm all about moving on now. None.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love: and getting hurt again. yeah. Nope. Been in love for quite some time now.

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths:  no i'm just not going to. That’s lame.

[utaitesandart-blog]

Tagged again: learn about me!

92 TRUTHS TAG GAME rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag! i was tagged by @flitwick-filius <333, and I tag @k-y-s-comics @frodobell @dani-the-flower-bab

@askthedarkgamer

LAST… [1] drink: alternating sips of water and iced tea


[2] phone call: don’t even remember 


[3] text message: My friend Ethan ✌🏽


[4] song you listened to: The Fritz by CRUISR


[5] time you cried: Monday or Tuesday this week

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: Yup. It wasn’t horrible but it didn’t work either 


[7] been cheated on: Kind of. Like she told me to break up with her so she wouldn’t be cheating on me


[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yeah… it was non consensual and I felt like an ass later 


[9] lost someone special: probably, but my memory is shit rn 


[10] been depressed: very


[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: half drunk twice but not thrown up cause of it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS… [12] dark purple


[13] white 


[14] glow in the dark green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: it would be tragic if I didn’t 


[16] fallen out of love: yuperooni


[17] laughed until you cried: yeah. But was I sad or happy?


[18] found out someone was talking about you: my shitty ass bullshit family


[19] met someone who changed you: um yeah! ❤️


[20] found out who your true friends are: kinda :)


[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: what Facebook list? I haven’t kissed anyone for a year or so

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them


[23] do you have any pets: one lovely cat


[24] do you want to change your name: Well legally I guess, I like my chosen name


[25] what did you do for your last birthday: haha man I don’t remember. Is that sad? 


[26] what time did you wake up: 9am?


[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: luckily, sleeping 


[28] name something you cannot wait for: not being in pain: physically and emotionally


[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: An hour? Maybe more? What is time?


[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my entire family background. Like if you took baby me and raised me somewhere completely different that would be cool 


[31] what are you listening to right now: kidnap me by CRUISR


[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yeah that fucking shit my sister finally broke up with 


[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my rude ass sister


[34] most visited website: tumblr probably 


[35] elementary school: valley forge


[36] high school : conestoga


[37] college : no fucking clue


[38] hair colour: almost completely natural brown, for the first time in 3 years. Ew. 


[39] long or short hair: like every other gay dude I’ve got a sweet undercut 


[40] do you have a crush on someone: for once: no actually 


[41] what do you like about yourself?: I’m nice and friendly. I’m what you’d call an ambassador


[42] piercings: lip piercing in the corner. I’ve got a regular right ear piercing and 2g gauge in my left ear. 


[43] blood type: they wouldn’t let me give blood when I tried 


[44] nickname: Charlie


[45] relationship status: single and hopelessly romantic


[46] zodiac sign: libra


[48] fav tv show: Brooklyn 99


[49] tattoos: one day I’ll get one on the back of my hand that says “not today” 
[50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: never 


[52] piercing: ears, when I was a baby


[53] best friend: Aleen


[54] sport: Field Hockey. How gay. 


[55] vacation: California!!


[56] pair of trainers: who knows, I had baby feet

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing


[58] drinking: just drank too much water 


[59] i’m about to: probably throw that water up. My stomach can’t hold anything in rn 


[60] listening to: people mow the lawn and fix my floors 


[61] waiting for: barfing or death. What is my body doing? 


[62] want: to feel calm and good 


[63] get married: maybe? Idk. Who knows 


[64] career: chef, dude. People gotta eat.

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs, I don’t quite understand kisses. They’re more of a sensual thing. 


[66] lips or eyes: eyes, but when you’ve got cute lips god damn 


[67] shorter or taller: taller. Dude I’m 5"


[68] older or younger: older but not by much. Like I’d go 2 yrs older or 1 - 1 ½ yrs younger. 


[69] romantic or spontaneous: depends on how I’m feeling. If they’re hot and into me then sure why not. 


[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms. Muscles turn me on 


[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive. We got that sensory overload. 


[72] hook up or relationship: relationship


[73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. But I am spontaneous, brave, and ballsy, I’ve been told.

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: KISSIN STRANGERS NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA. dude when I’m desperate I wait around for a hot stranger but no not yet. 


[75] drank hard liquor?: nah 


[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: holy crap. How to NOT lose your glasses please? 


[77] turned someone down: actually- only in online dating but it was more low key 


[78] sex on first date?: how about sex never? Thanks 


[79] broken someone’s heart?: Yeah…


[80] had your own heart broken?: yup!


[81] been arrested?: no but isn’t trying to kill yourself illegal..? 


[82] cried when someone died?: no- I don’t understand death 


[83] fallen for a friend: yeah but mostly just in an infatuation sense. It can make you fall in love with anyone when you’re desperate

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? Dude idk. Depends on the day. Is it a manic day or a mania day? 


[85] miracles? None have happened yet so nope 


[86] love at fist sight? I mean yes? Idk man, who knows? 


[87] santa claus? nah


[88] kiss on the first date? Depends on how much romantic tension you’re both feeling 


[89] angles? Not Christian, babe

OTHER… [90] current best friends name: My dude Corbyn ✌🏽✌🏽👌🏽👌🏽


[91] eye colour: brown


[92] favourite movie: idk I’m literally so spontaneous

[whitetvlips]

Should We Know Us A Little Better

tagged by the wonderful @vminisgay i love her sm 

this originally had 89 questions but i changed it to 90 cause it bothered me lolsols

rules: answer all of these questions and tag your loves ♡

my loves: @minmoonyoongi, @yugyuumy, @unbwilievable, @babyboyjimminie, @kirbaes, @ihopeigraduate, @winktaes

THE LAST: 1. Drink: h2ooooooo 2. Phone call: my bff kailee, she asked me where was i 3. Text message: leyla, boy problems lol 4. Song you listened to: Alright - Supergrass 5. Time you cried: LITERALLY JUST LIKE 6 HOURS AGO HAHAAH 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: kissed but no regret 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes  10. Been depressed: idk if it was depression but i was sad the entire year of 7th grade 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: got drunk BUT DIDNT THROW UP YEAH WOO

LIST YOUR THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. peach, orange/yellow hybrid!!, pastel pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: omg so many 16. Fallen out of love: literally just today 17. Laughed until you cried: YES (i love u friends) 18. Found out someone was talking about you: found out the guy had a crush one me 19. Met someone who changed you: oh yes. two or four. 20. Found out who your friends are: oh yes i did. snipped one out of my life. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: facebook??? what is this 2009

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 2009????? 23. Do you have any pets: i have fishes but i really want a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: yes and no?? i like my name but i kind of want a name that's cute 25. What did you do for your last birthday: my two “friends” (at the time they were my good friends) came over  26. What time did you wake up: 10am today! very early!! haha 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching 21 jump street haha 28. Name something that you can’t wait for: i can’t wait for vmin to announce their love, to find my soulmate, and to own a dog 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago

30: What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my parents 31. What are you listening to right now: the cars on the street and my fan blowing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: if i did i dont remember 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: snitches, rude people, runny noses, poofy hair from humidity  34. Most visited website: instagram (technically a website??), youtube, tumblr

35. Mole/s: bahahahah one on my left boob 36. Mark/s: one on my finger and it looks like a panda or a dog 37. Childhood dream: to go to neverland and hang out with peter pan ahah 38. Hair color: v dark brown. in the sun it’s brown 39. Long or short hair: long (like my dick jkjkjk) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: i cannot sort my feelings out sigh 41. What do you like about yourself: I'm energetic w my friends and we all have a good time!!! 42. Piercings: ears. i want to get one on my cartilage  43. Blood type: idkdidkdkdk 44. Nickname: my friends call me vic, tori, or vicky (but ew vicky) 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: virgo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: friends, ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK, RIVERDALE 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: no 52. Piercings: go to #42!!  53. Sport: surfing, tennis 54. Vacation: maui would sound so great right now, tokyo, vietnam, somewhere tropical like fiji 55. Pair of trainers: nike air :)

MORE GENERAL: 56. Eating: nothing rn! but i was eating fish and rice 57. Drinking: water 58. I’m about to: watch clueless  59. Waiting for: myself to get tired so i can go to sleep 60. Want: to fall in love without feeling confused 61. Get married: soulmate, we will raise dogs and cook everyday and sometimes give our homemade food to ones in need 62. Career: this one stresses me out 

WHICH IS BETTER? 63. Hugs or kisses: kisses sigh 64. Lips or eyes: eyes 65. Shorter or taller: taller (for a guy yes) 66. Older or younger: older 67. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms (idc about tummy part) 68. Sensitive or loud: loud!!!!! 69. Hookup or relationship: relationship 70. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 71. Kissed a stranger: no 72. Drank hard liquor: when i was 15?? 73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope! 74. Turned someone down: yes i felt bad afterwards he didnt talk to me ever again 75. Sex on the first date: no 76. Broken someone’s heart: no 77. Had your heart broken: yes 78. Been arrested: no 79. Cried when someone died: yes 80. Fallen for a friend: oh yesyeysyeys this is why shit happens

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 81. Yourself: haha i tell myself good luck  82. Miracles: yes 83.  Love at first sight:yes 84. Santa Claus: no 85. Kiss on the first date: yes 86. Angels: kira said park jimin i agree 101%


OTHER: 87. Current best friends: i dont want to list out but my bffs are 3 girls and 3 guys 88. Eye color: dark brown

89. Favorite movie: Nerve, white chicks, 21 jump street

90: Favorite food/dish: i love sushi sm ahh

[silveraspens]

Thank you @loserofliverpool for tagging me in this impressively long questioner 😂 Nobody will probs read this but whatever Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: My dad 3. Text message: My friend 4. Song you listened to: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene 5. Time you cried: Today ;_; HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Me?? Date?? Haha!! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I haven't kissed anyone :/ (other than like my cat) 8. Been cheated on: Fucking Quinn Tanish looked over at my Egyptian history test in the fifth grade and I've still not entirely recovered 😤 9. Lost someone special: Many times :/ 10. Been depressed: yeppppp I haven't been "diagnosed" but you don't need a weather man to know that it's raining 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: In thankfully not someone who really pukes 😂 tho I came close when I took a shot of fireball (I hate cinnamon) LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. Maroon 13. Yellow/Gold 14. Teal/Turquoise/Mint IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Um yes!! So many I'm really happy about it 16. Fallen out of love: Can't break what isn't there 😂 17. Laughed until you cried: Many times yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not that I can remember? But yeah probably 19. Met someone who changed you: dude yes two people in particular 20. Found out who your friends are: Mainly just had my current friendships strengthened 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Still haven't kissed anyone, and I deactivated my Facebook yo GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: when I had it, I knew all 33 of my friends irl 😂 then I deleted it cause it was all school people I wanted to forget 23. Do you have any pets: 4 cats 1.5 dogs 2turtles 24. Do you want to change your name: Maybe if I get married, tho Morgan Plant doesn't really roll off the tongue 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: hung out in my friend Kylie's basement... I think 26. What time did you wake up: 8:30am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Old Greg / Guy on a buffalo with my buddyyyyyy 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to be married to a gorgeous hippie guy with 2-3 kids and living in a tiny house in the mountains surviving off ArtiNg U-U a girl can fantasize can't she??? 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2ish hours ago 😂 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had ambition 31. What are you listening right now: Night Flight 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah my Grandpa was named Tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My art block / epic procrastination "oh no don't worry I'll go to college, I just need to decide where I want to go!!" 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr or cracked- but probably Tumblr 35. Mole/s: I have a shit ton on my shoulders arms and chest 36. Mark/s: I think I have a birthmark on the base of my skull 37. Childhood dream: Dr.Morgan the Paleontologist 38. Haircolour: Dark strawberry blonde 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Um in real life no... partially cause I have dissociated with reality and fallen in love with Robert Plant 41. What do you like about yourself: I like my eyelashes (they're naturally dark and curled!!) 42. Piercings: None! Not even in my ear lobes 43. Bloodtype: No clue, tho I've always been curious 44. Nickname: Morgs, asshole 45. Relationship status: I was born alone and I'll die alone 46. Zodiac: *new age hippie voice* Sun-Libra Moon-Gemini Rising-Leo 47. Pronouns: She/Her or Dude 48. Favourite TV Show: ...Supernatural... 49. Tattoos: None, but i want one 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Do wisdom teeth count? Like I was knocked out but ??? 52. Hair dyed in different color: I've made it darker, redder and lighter- but mostly I've just "enhanced" my natural color 53. Sport: I played basketball in the 1st grade. I'm not coordinated or aggressive enough. Also organized sports are fascist man 55. Vacation: New Zealand pls 56. Pair of trainers: Just some beat to shit Chucks MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: A half frozen piece of pizza 58. Drinking: Milk or agua 59. I’m about to: Go to bed 61. Waiting for: Me finishing this questioner 62. Want: Love ambition and motivation 63. Get married: I'd really really really want this- I just need to find a guy :/ 64. Career: anything artistic or creative WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs are cuter 66. Lips or eyes: Lips, eyes are overrated 67. Shorter or taller: I'm happy with my height 68. Older or younger: Younger, send my ass back to 6years old. That's when I peaked 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I would like to have a nice stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: both (?) 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, hooking up depresses me 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the situation HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: Unfortunately 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: not yet 77. Turned someone down: Yeeeeee 78. Sex in the first date: Unless this dude was like Robert Plant incarnate, no way- I think it's smarter to wait and form an emotional bond 79. Broken someone’s heart: Fuck I don't think so?? 80. Had your heart broken: *emo voice* too many times to count 81. Been arrested: No but the police did tell me to stop singing so loud 😂😂😂 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: Can't say I have, DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: ha I wish 85. Miracles: without a doubt 86. Love at first sight: I believe in Lust at first sight but not love 87. Santa Clause: duhhhh(no) 88. Kiss on the first date: nothing too saucy 89. Angels: ...yes 90. Current best friends name: JOSIE, My Mom, Kylie, Nadia, Ro, Emily, Shannon, Angie, 91. Eyecolour: is like to say hazel or "amber" but no- just brown 92. Favourite movie: The Big Lebowski hands down @all-my-favourite-people-that-I-talk-to-on-the-regular Jk Idk if you feel like doing this tag me and I'll read it Go nuts my dudes

[nerdhorde]

🌻 questions tag 🌻

I was tagged by the lovely @fsstudies to answer all of these questions. Thank you very much! I shall attempt to make myself look interesting, haha. 

I tag @affinityscience @hayley-studies @my-little-studyblr @georgestudies @raven-studies. I don’t talk to very many people on here so you have been chosen at random (mostly). If you don’t wanna do it, then ofc that’s chill. I also tag anyone who sees this n kind of fancies doing it. Go wild, kiddo. 

LAST:

1. Drink: water, and before that, tea. 

2. Phone call: probably my best friend

3. Text message: well, the last time I messaged someone was on facebook (my friend from uni), but the last time I properly texted someone it was probably my best friend, again.

4. Song you listened to: la devotee - p!atd

5. Time you cried: watching a film. I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. I cry a lot, tbf. 

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t think I regret any of them, no. Well, I’ve kissed someone and regretted it months later if that counts. 

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes, I suppose so. 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes. All of the time. My stomach is very bad at handling alcohol, so tactical chunders are usually the way to go. I’ve never been absolutely plastered though, and vomiting not by choice; I’ve usually always chosen when I’m going to throw up (usually to make myself feel better/avoid a hangover). 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes, I started university last September so I made a fair few. 

16. Fallen out of love: not in the romantic sense, no. 

17. Laughed until you cried: yes, a week ago, actually. 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh lord, yes, haha. It’s been the cause of all my problems, this past month or so. 

19. Met someone who changed you: no.

20. Found out who your friends are: most bloody definitely!

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes, I think I did. I regret it now, haha. 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The vast majority of them I’d say. Most of them are people I went to school with, and if I didn’t go to school with them, they’re people I’ve met drunk on a night out. There’s only a handful on there who I’ve not met. 

23. Do you have any pets: yes, we have a black labrador, called Breeze. 

24. Do you want to change your name: I’ve never really been fond of my name, it was very popular the year I was born so I always find a lot of people my age called Sophie. If I were to change my name I’d change my last name. I’d make up something completely new so I wasn’t associated with either side of my family. 

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to see Morrissey live in Manchester with my best friend, that was a brilliant weekend, one of the best experiences of my life. And with my family I think we went out for a meal? It was so long ago now I can’t even remember properly, haha. 

26. What time did you wake up: today it was 6am, because I’ve got to travel 180 miles North to move some of my stuff in to my new uni house. Usually I’m very bad at getting out of bed before midday, but if I’ve got stuff to do I can wake up any time.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably watching old Whose Line Is It Anyway  episodes. The UK ones, of course. 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: going back to university in September, though I’m going to miss my best friend desperately. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I saw her 8 hours ago, I think? Just before she went to bed. 

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: my anxiety (lol, #deep). Deep down I know I’m supposed to be a very extroverted person, but it prevents me from being that. 

31. What are you listening to right now: other than the noisy sodding birds outside my window? Nothing, lmao. 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes? I knew two guys called Tom in middle school. 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: probably one of my ex-friends (that sounds dramatic af). She’s been very irritating recently and I wish she’d just stop being such a child and leave me the hell alone. 

34. Most visited websites: twitter, facebook, tumblr, youtube. The usual suspects, haha. 

35. Mole/s: yes. Lots. According to my mum they’re a sign of strength. That might well be bollocks, but who knows. 

36. Mark/s: I’ve got a scar on my right eyebrow from when I ran into the corner of a wooden table as a child. I used to get called “Sophie Potter”, Lords knows why cos it ain’t bloody lightning shaped. 

37. Childhood dream: when I was 5, probably just owning a tractor would be enough for me (a Ford one, because they’re blue); when I got a bit older I wanted to be an author, or an illustrator, or an author who illustrated her own books. 

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: long. I only had it cut for the first time in 2 years a few months ago. It was ridiculously long then. 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no, not a crush. That’s the wrong word.

41. What do you like about yourself: I actually quite like my appearance nowadays. I’m very proud of my intelligence, my knowledge of useless facts, my sarcasm, how funny I can be, and my art.

42. Piercings: ear lobes and my nose. I’d love to get more done. 

43. Blood type: I have absolutely no idea, not even my own mother knows. 

44. Nickname: I don’t have one. Some people have attempted to call me “Soph” in the past and I’ve quickly shot them down, only my dad gets to call me that and even then I don’t like it, haha. Occasionally I’ve been called by my last name, and some jokes have been made out of my last name but nothing’s ever really stuck. 

45. Relationship status: single… as a pringle..?

46. Zodiac: I don’t know much about this. I know I’m a Leo… 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: Doctor Who, TLOG, anything Reece Shearsmith & Steve Pemberton write, Green Wing (recently), House, Lie To Me… There’s loads more but I can’t list them all, I’d be here all day. 

49. Tattoos: I have a tattoo of some planets and stars over a mountain on my inside left wrist. I got it about a year ago. I want lots more!

50. Right or left hand: Right. Though weirdly I started out life left-handed and then switched of my own accord when I was about 5. Unfortunately that doesn’t make me ambidextrous though, dammit. 

51. Surgery: twice. Had my tonsils removed as a kid, and then I used to be tongue-tied so I had to have that sorted a few years after. 

52. Hair dyed in different colour: not yet. I’m planning on it soon though, my hair’s a little drab at the moment. 

53. Sport: I used to love football (soccer) as a kid and I was fairly good at it, mostly because I was vicious, and at school I was on various sports teams but nowadays I rarely do any. 

54. blackpink in your area???? I’ve no idea what this means, so I’m gonna skim past it. 

55. Vacation: as a family we’ve been to Greece together (Kos, specifically) and it was wonderful, and we’ve been caravanning on the coast a few times. We haven’t been on holiday in years, but we’re all going to Jersey next month, unfortunately for some not good reasons. 

56. Pair of trainers: two pairs of grey converse, one very new, one very tatty. And a pair of grey generic trainers for the gym (I like grey, apparently)

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: mashed potato, gravy, pie, cheesy chips, my mum’s roast dinners, my grandma’s baking. 

58. Drinking: tea, always. I bloody love tea, not that I’m upholding a national stereotype there, but oh well. Wine is lovely, but vodka is my absolute favourite when it comes to alcohol. Or gin, though I can’t handle it very well. Tequila shots, yes, jaeger bombs, always. 

59. I’m about to: get dressed and go to my grandma’s for an hour before we drive up North to my new house

60. (there is no 60, this is odd)

61. Waiting for: my exam to be over (it’s on Tuesday, send help). 

62. Want: to be at the pub with my friends, and a night out at Welly (the best club ever, pop punk and indie trash on a loop).

63. Get married: I doubt it. I’m not interested in marriage really. 

64. Career: my dream career would be artist. Quite possibly a portrait artist. But I know that’s not exactly a safe bet, so I’ll save that until I’m financially stable. I’m doing a chemistry degree at the moment, so I suppose I’ll get a job using that. In research, maybe. 

65. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person. Hugs from everyone. Kisses are also wonderful too, though. 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes. 

67. Shorter or taller: neither. I’m tall compared to most of my friends, but not too tall that I can’t get away with wearing heels, so I’ll stick to where I’m at, cheers. 

68. Older or younger: younger I think. I miss being so carefree. 

(dammit why is there no 69 ffs)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: on me? Stomach probably. But both I think. My arms are odd, I’d like to edit them a little. 

71. Sensitive or loud: both. Loud, naturally, I think. Sensitive not entirely out of choice. 

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up. I think I have commitment issues, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone. 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: depends. Mostly troublemaker. If I’m hesitant it’s only usually for a few seconds before I go “fuck it” and do it anyway. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: yes. Many a time. 

75. Drank hard liquor: yes. It’s lovely. 

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:  nope, never, thank god. Let’s hope this continues. 

77. Turned someone down: yes, very gently. 

78. Sex on the first date:  I don’t think you could call it a date, but I’ve had sex with someone the first night I’ve met them? If that counts?

79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so, no. Not that I’m aware of anyway.

80. Had your heart broken: no.

81. Been arrested: never. 

82. Cried when someone died: yes, of course. 

83. Fallen for a friend: no. Not really. I had a brief crush on a friend, but it didn’t last. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: sometimes yes, sometimes no. I can be very arrogant depending on my mood, so in those moments I do, yes. In the more anxious ones, definitely not. 

85. Miracles: no way

86. Love at first sight: no, I think it’s unrealistic. Lust at first sight, certainly, but not love. 

87. Santa Claus: hahah wait why is this even up for debate?? Duh. 

88. Kiss on the first date:  yeah, sure, why not, if I liked the person enough I certainly wouldn’t be averse to it. 

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Amy

91. Eye color: brown

91. Favorite movie: reservoir dogs, pulp fiction, anything tarantino, leon: the professional, so many of them

[cryptidlossdotjpg]

do all of the ones you haven't yet for the lovesick meme!

oh shit alright uh

2: How long has your crush lasted?

yes

3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?

i’m just gonna do 3 bc i don’t have many songs i associate w/ my bfs

michael:

let’s face it, i’m cute - 11 acorn lane

beautiful - mystery skulls

it’s all good - cavetown

jd:

dirty laundry - bitter:sweet

when i grow up - mayday parade

hot mess - cobra starship

4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?

i mean i hope so

6: Whats holding you back from making a move?

nothing really

7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?

nope

8: Do you think they could ever love you?

i mean i hope they do love me

9: Do you love them?

ya

10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?

i don’t think so?

11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you?

god i hope not, but maybe

12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?

jd

13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?

idk man

14: Has your crush ever hurt you?

no

16: Why do you like them?

michael’s unbelievably sweet and kind and is always a fun person to talk to. he cares about everyone and tries his best at everything and there’s something about him that’s unmistakably charming

jd’s a cool guy who i’ve been friends with for only a month i think but it feels like longer. i feel like i can trust him with anything and i feel rlly safe around him? he’s serious when he needs to be

17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?

whomst

18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?

not really

19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?

it was the morning after for michael. it was the way he slept so peacefully and calmly and the way sun dawned on him and he looked like someone truly radiant and ethereal

for jd, it was one of those days where we went to go get slushies and it was a day like any other but like...idk i guess i saw how happy he looked just filling up his cup and i realized hey, maybe dating this guy won’t be so bad

20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?

impossible, next question

21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?

yea

22: Held their hand?

yea

23: Kissed their cheek?

yea

24: Kissed them on the lips?

yea

26: Had sex with them?

wouldn’t u like to know

27: Where on your body have they touched you?

;)

28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?

sometimes

29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?

sure

30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?

oh absolutely

31: Does their presence calm you?

yea

32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?

no?

33: Are you friends with your crush?

yes. if ur not friends w/ the person ur in a relationship w/ then who tf are u

34: Have you always been friends?

w/ jd yeah

36: Best phone call with them?

michael: it was probably a little later but earlier than 12 am. we were just talking about shit for like hours and talking about our future and we lingered on the topic of our wedding a lot and he fell asleep on call but i figured if i hung up i’d wake him up so i just. didn’t hang up and ended up passing out listening to him

jd: it was like...4 am or smth and his dad was being himself so we just talked about nothing but i felt captivated the entire time? i was literally just listening him to talk about shit all but it’s 1 of my fondest memories bc he sounded really calm

37: Last time you hung out with them?

with michael it was like....a couple minutes ago and for jd it was a week ago i think

38: Ever been drunk together?

yes for jase, no for mich

39: Fondest memory of them?

does every memory of them count

40: Ever made a mistake with them?

haha. yeah.

41: Regretted not making a move?

kinda. i wish i had gotten into a relationship w/ them earlier lmao

42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?

confess. 

be more of a friend.

43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?

maybe.

44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?

1) are you really serious about having a future w/ me?2) what things in specific do you hate about me?3) when did you realize you had feelings for me?

1) why did you do the things you did?2) do you ever regret being friends with me?3) do you wish you could take it back?

46: Have they ever tried to make a move?

maybe? idk

47: If so why did you miss it?

idk

48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?

haha yea

49: Are they single?

no

60: What are you most attracted to about them?

michael: how kind he is. how strong he is despite everything and how brave he is for enduring the things he’s endured. his eyes

jd: his loyalty, the way he feels safe and comforting and how he seems to know what to say before you even tell him

61: Can you see a future with them?

absolutely

62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?

haha. yeah.

63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?

yes

64: Could they make you happy?

yeah, and they already have

66: What's something that only you two do?

i can’t think of any off the top of my head lmao

67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?

haha. yeah.

68: Have they ever given you anything?

yes

69: Have they ever used you?

no

70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?

no

71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?

haha. yeah.

72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?

hahahahaha

yeah.

73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?

kinda? but not in a sexual way more like ‘this is my meme shirt i bought for 10 dollars off of amazon’

74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?

yep

76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?

yes.

77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?

yea

78: Do you trust them?

absolutely

79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?

love. happiness. affection. vulnerability. 

80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?

michael is i think, idk about jd

81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?

oh ABSOLUTELY

82: Will they be in your life a year from now?

i hope so

83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?

idk man

84: Do they know you have feelings for them?

i hope so

86: Your ideal date with them?

just being around them. we don’t have to go somewhere to have a good time. as long as i’m with them, i’m perfectly content

87: What's their name?

michael mell & jason dean. last names are up to change

88: Have you ever been in their room?

yea

89: Shared a secret with them?

yea

90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?

idk

91: Have they ever disappointed you?

nah

92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?

decline to state

93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?

not really?

94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?

i. guess i could if it came down to it

96: What's standing in your way from being with them?

nothing

97: Would you let them use you for sex?

tf kinda question

98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?

nope

99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?

nope

100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?

for them to be happy and safe. no matter what.

[sirenestudies-blog]

92 Questions Tag

i was tagged by @ronanstudies, thank you sm! like you, i’m putting this under a read more bc it’s 92 questions which is a whole lot! so, here are the questions: 

LAST:

1. Drink: water  2. Phone call: my mom  3. Text message: “it’s np!”  4. Song you listened to: kokobop by exo (truly a bop)  5. Time you cried: literally like an hour ago lmao 

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: never been on a date so  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never been kissed so  8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: not really  10. Been depressed: yeah  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: light-grey blue, “millennial pink”, white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of liking i guess  17. Laughed until you cried: yeah 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah 19. Met someone who changed you: i think so  20. Found out who your friends are: for the most part  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope 

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them 23. Do you have any pets: a puppy named picasso! he’s a golden doodle and he’s the most good boy ever!  24. Do you want to change your name: not really, but i have a go-to starbucks name which i wouldn’t mind  25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i had my sweet 16 at a restaurant with a few of my close friends so it was nice! but on my actual birthday i did nothing lmao bc it was a tuesday and i had a test  26. What time did you wake up: 8:00 ish 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: texting my friend  28. Name something you can’t wait for: to graduate high school (2 more years rip)

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2 mins ago  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could change my freshman year of hs, and my over-all self confidence and motivation lol  31. What are you listening to right now: at the moment, nothing  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i don't think so?  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when people speak over me bc i have a quiet voice and i’m quiet in general so it’s like :// u know i’m not going to call u out for it let me live man  34. Most visited websites: youtube and google classroom (im so cool) 

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: yes 36. Mark/s: yeah 37. Childhood dream: my first childhood dream was to be a fashion designer haha, but then it became “be an author” for like, 7 years straight 38. Hair color: black  39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no 41. What do you like about yourself: i think i’m a good listener and kind, and i have a good eye for aesthetics  42. Piercings: just my ears   43. Blood type: A  44. Nickname: i don’t have a nickname which is rlly tragic bc i really want a nickname  45. Relationship status: single, like i have been my entire life... if you can’t tell i’m too much of a hopeless romantic  46. Zodiac: scorpio

47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: parks and rec, brooklyn 99, shadowhunters 49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: never 52. Hair dyed in different color: i never have but i want to try it once  55. Vacation: NYC since we live so close, but i’ve been to quebec and england too many times  56. Pair of trainers: i have 3 pairs of sneakers but one of them aren’t really meant for sports 

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i just ate 5 tomatoes bc i love tomatoes  58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: work on an essay (procrastinate working on an essay)  61. Waiting for: to be happy with myself and my effort and enjoy life without being stressed  62. Want: skincare and beauty products and this one type of muji notebook!  63. Get married: when i’m older, i want to get married but rn i’m... im just 16 man  64. Career: not sure honestly

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: both? sensitive enough for me bc im super sensitive but i’m so quiet i need someone loud otherwise we’d never talk no joke  72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: no 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: i don't think so  80. Had your heart broken: as much as a 15 year old’s heart can break when they find out their crush has a girlfriend lol  81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: no one close to me has ever died, thankfully, but i’ve cried from watching the news sometimes s 83. Fallen for a friend: yes 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes idk man 

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight but not love  87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: it depends 

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: i have a few  91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: wonder woman or the new spiderman movie! 

that was so long omg, ok, so i’ll tag @studyoblivion, @ali-studyblr, @starcrossedstudying, @studytopic, and @studyingnehrd !

[mrbananny]

Get to Know Me!

Stolen from @thegirlinthetrashcan

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

1. Drink: Soda

2. Phone call: I called uf0 the other night

3. Text message: Sending a drawing of Comet to my irl friend

4. Song you listen to: Stay - Zedd, Alessia Cara

5. Time you cried: half an hour ago whoopsie

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: I’ve never dated anyone

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: No

9. Lost someone special: Not really

10. Been depressed: Yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never drank alcohol

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Purple, Blue, Orange

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: The other night with uf0

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes

20: Found out who your friends are: Yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: See question 7

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have facebook

23. Do you have any pets: Three dogs, Sassy, Storm and Atticus, one bird, Tiki, and six chickens and six ducks

24. Do you want to change your name: Maybe my last name,,

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went to school, came home and went to bed

26. What time do you wake up: 10 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Drawing Bad Cop

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The LEGO Movie Sequel!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Earlier today

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: So many things

31: What are you listening to right now: Message Man - Twenty One Pilots

32: Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My entire existence???

34. Most visited website: Youtube 

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: Nope

36. Mark/s: Nah

37. Childhood dream: Video Game designer

38. Hair color: Dirty blonde

39. Long or short hair: Medium

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not really?

41. What do you like about yourself: Nothing really

42. Piercings: My ears but I don’t wear earrings much

43. Blood type: idfk

44. Nickname: Nano!

45: Relationship status: Single an uninterested 

46: Zodiac: Scorpio

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite TV show: I’ve been trying to watch Parks and Rec and Ninjago

49. Tattoos: None

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: I don’t think so I can’t remember

52. Hair dyed in different color: no

53. Sport: None

55. Vacation: I really wanna go to the beach, honestly

56. Pair of trainers: h u h

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing

58. Drinking: Nothing

59. I’m about to: Draw Bad Cop (I’m pathetic I know)

61. Waiting for: Nothing

62. Want: To give Good Cop a hug

63. Get married: Nope

64. Career: I don’t really know anymore

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: HU G S

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Both I guess

68. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms i guess

71. Sensitive or loud: I’m not answering this

72. Hook up or relationship: Neither

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: idk

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes, I lost my glasses and had to buy a new pair

77. Turned someone down: No

78. Sex on the first date: I AM AN ANXIOUS ACE 

79. Broken someone’s heart: Probably

80. Had your heart broken: Yeah

81. Been arrested: arrest me bad cop No

82. Cried when someone died: Do pets count

83. Fallen for a friend: Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: HAHAH N O

85. Miracles: No

86. Love at first sight: Nope

87. Santa Claus: No

88. Kiss on the first date: gun emoji

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: @sleeqy-uf0s

91. Eye color: Blue

92. Favorite movie: The LEGO Movie

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

@sleeqy-uf0s is the only one I’m tagging haha

Anyone else who wants to can

[scifiphan]

92 Things About Me

tysm @sleepwalkerphan  for tagging me in this! it’s 2am and I’m procrastinating the heck out of writing so this is perfect lmao.

also I’ll put most of the things below the cut so keep reading if ya wanna know 92 fun facts about me

edit: this took me almost an hour to do and towards the end, I basically confess my entire life so have fun reading that lmao. like i seriously have a realisation about how idk what i’m doing with my life hahahaha

THE LAST..

1. Drink : Water #stayhydrated 2. Phone call : mum 3. Text Message : a gif of phil being scared in bed (even my irl friends are trash) 4. Song You Listened To : currently listening to Taro - alt-J 5. Time You Cried : On sunday I cried over a renovation reality tv show (??? yeah idk either, bro) the apartments just looked so nice and the team I liked got kicked off the show.

HAVE YOU EVER..

6. Dated Someone Twice : nope 7. Been Cheated On : nope 8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It : YES (smh @ me) 9. Lost Someone Special : thankfully no 10. Been Depressed : i honestly don’t know. i think I have but am so freaking stubborn at admitting I have had depressive episodes in the past 11. Got Drunk And Thrown Up : YES OH MY GOODNESS I HAVE HAD SO MANY BAD TIMES. DON’T DRINK WINE AND THEN A MILKSHAKE AND THEN DANCE ON A BEACH. YOU WILL ONLY END UP THROWING UP IN A GARBAGE BIN OUTSIDE A KEBAB STORE (it wasn’t even after midnight, that’s the most embarrassing thing) 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS :

12. Green 13. Pink 14. Turquoise

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU..

15. Made New Friends : yes!! so many new and amazing friends 16. Fallen Out Of Love : nope. 17. Laughed Until You Cried : laughing until I cry is me every time 18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You : yes (you would think that adults would stop teen behaviours lol) 19. Met Someone Who Changed You : yes, the last year included so much change. 20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are : Yes. Just gonna put it out there: traveling for an extensive period of time overseas really shows who your true friends are and who are the snakes. 21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List : hahahaha yes (too mant rip) 22.How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life :  probably almost all of them (so like 550) only a few on there are my internet friends 23. Do You Have Any Pets : nope and I probs wont get another pet for a long long time 24. Do You Want To Change Your Name : NO!!!!!!! Teddii is a blessing although I would change my last name (it’s two surnames joined together and it makes life difficult because it’s so long) 25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday : went out for dinner at a mexican place, won a few dollars on the pokies and then went out clubbing (also i got a fine rip me) 26. What Time Did You Wake Up This Morning: 11am OOPS (i slept in and missed uni) 27. What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night : probably making a gif 28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For : FINISHING UNI AND MOVING TO THE UK (hopefully to do my masters in global terrorism at the uni of london but if not i really wanna get a 1 year working visa and just do some hospitality work before I start a career) 29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother : like 4 hours ago when we were watching tv 30. What Is One Thing You Could Change About Your Life : I wish I had a UK passport, it would make life a lot easier for me if I had dual citizenship instead of a boring Australian passport 31. What Are You Listening To Right Now : alt-J, a live performance of Taro  32. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom : I know so many Tom’s it’s ridiculous 33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves : PEOPLE!!! WHO!! THINK!! THAT!! IF YOUR DEGREE!! ISN’T STEM!! THEN IT ISN’T!! HARD!!!! (i’m looking @ every friend who does a stem degree and always laughs at how my degree must be so easy because it doesn’t include math)

34. Most Visited Websites : tumblr, youtube, my uni’s website, facebook 35. Elementary : v great time, got bullied heaps but still had fun 36. High School : problematic fave. honestly my time at high school can fill a 500 page essay. being right next to a beach and river was actually gr8, the endless issues weren’t so good. 37. College/University : it has been a wild ride. I swapped degrees so I still have around 2 years left but uni has been my fave so far 38. Hair Colour : PINK!!!! (naturally ginger) 39. Long or Short Hair : long 40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone : nope (which is a shocker) 41. What Do You Like About Yourself : I like my individuality and independance 42. Piercings : 2x lobes, 1x helix, 1x nose. (i’m thinkng about getting my conch in a few weeks) 43. Blood Type : O+ 44. Nickname : ted, teddii bear, sideshow bob, cotton candy 45. Relationship Status : hella single 46. Zodiac Sign : Cancer (aka my birthday is soon hell yeah) 47. Pronouns : she/her. 48. Favourite Tv Show : STAR TREK: VOYAGER WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVOURITE 49. Tattoos : crescent moon on my right wrist (i sorta don’t like how it turned out but after a year I have grown to appreciate the meaning) 50. Right Or Left Hand : Left handed (aka another reason why Dan is my spirit animal)

FIRST..

51. Surgery : i got a bunch of teeth removed when I was like 4/5  52. Word : baba or ma  53. Sport : soccer  54. Vacation : i actually can’t remember my first vacation. probs Sydney tbh idk I went a lot of places when I was young 55. Pair Of Trainers : probably something Adidas tbh

WHAT ARE YOU..

56. Eating : nothing 57. Drinking : water 58. Reading : nothing at the moment besides uni textbooks 59. I’m About To : I should say sleep but I’ll probably just watch youtube 60. Listening To : Breezeblocks by alt-J (can you see a recurring theme with my music questions?) 61. Waiting For : GoT SEASON 7 AKA MY BIRTHDAY (honestly feel so blessed to grow older and watch new GoT on the same day) 62. Craving For : MONEYYYYYYY. ya girl is unemployed thanks to the bad habit of planning last minute overseas holidays 63. Do you wanna get married : eventually but at the same time it doesn’t worry me 64. Going To Do When You Get Older : ????? ?????? ????? you would think I would have an idea but tbh idk. I’m studying International Relations and I want to do a postgrad in global terrorism. But career wise I have no bloody idea. I would like to work in the UN or UNESCO or for the Australian Government in an embassy. but at the same time I also want to be a travel photographer and just ignore my degree (idk adult life is hard)

YOUR TYPE..

65. Hugs or Kisses : HUGS 66. Lips or Eyes : eyes! <3333 67. Short or Tall : tall guys!!! but short girls are my weakness!! 68. Young or Old : HA haHA HA old 69. Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach : slight preference for nice arms because tummys are cute no matter what 70. Sensitive or Loud : I am both of those things so, por que no las dos? 71. Hook Up or Relationship : relationship (although I can’t relate because i am eternally single) 72. Troublemaker or Hesitant : I prefer when people are upfront instead of hiding stuff from me so I guess that means troublemaker?

HAVE YOU EVER..

73. Kissed A Stranger : yes 74. Drank Hard Liquor : yes (love me some vodka) 75. Lost Eye glasses or contact lenses : not yet thankfully 76. Turned Someone Down : YES! (there is nothing wrong with turning people down.) 77. Sex On First Date : no 78. Broken Someone’s Heart : yes and I still feel bad 79. Had Your Heart Broken : yep 80. Been Arrested : yes (kind of, long story) 81. Cried When Someone Died : yes. although I tend to go more numb instead of crying. idk it’s weird because I cry about everything but death kinda makes me become numb 82. Fallen For A Friend : yes (oops)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN..

83. In Yourself : yes although I need to believe in myself a lot more 84. Miracles : yes 85. Love At First Sight : yes and no. I believe it exists but I feel like a lot of people believe that they are experiencing love at first sight when in reality it is infatuation/lust. 86. Santa Claus : this question conflicts me because the logical side of me says no but the optimistic child side of me refuses to accept the truth 87. Kiss On The First Date : yeah 88. Angels : nah, not for me

OTHER..

89. Current best friend’s name : do i have a best friend? not really. again, it’s a weird time for me when it comes to friends. 90. Eye Colour : um blue with green and grey mixed in (it’s so hard to describe but yeah, those three) 91. Favourite singer/Band : Ed Sheeran, Mumford & Sons, al-J (i love them all a lot.) 92. Favourite Movie : Avatar. yes the blue alien one. It’s lame but I fell in love with the na’vi culture and it kinda helped get me obsessed with scifi.

And that’s a wrap!

If anyone actually read all that I hope you enjoyed my (very) late night confessions. Idk who to tag so if you see this and want to do it feel free to do so! Also, come hit up my inbox/messages if you wanna be my friend after reading this, I wanna make some friends on this hellsite