#3. yes we’re gonna see more news on politics because right now everyone’s getting ready to vote

[thatonceandfutureprat]

I follow the national news on tiktok (a news source I believe tries its best to not have an opinion in news articles) and it’s funny how, in minutes after posting a video on something, the right wing comes flooding in to call them fake, leftist, divisive, bad, incorrect etc.

Don’t these brainwashed kids have anything better to do? Do homework? Play outside, touch some grass?

[sainz-zayn]

Anagapesis

Anagapesis (n.) no longer feeling any affection for someone you once loved

Warnings: cheating please if you're sensitive towards this kind of topic please don't read it, alcohol usage, suggestive and sexual themes, toxic relationship, swearing, cheating is not good please don`t take this seriously in real life.

Word count: 5k+

Disclaimer: All Characters and events in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.

"Tell me have you ever love me!?" I whispered timidly.

"I've never loved you not even once!" He answered.

Those words came out from his beautiful lips like nothing ever happened between the two of us.

"Leave! I hate you!" my tears starts to fall from my eyes. I`ve never felt this broken before but the one and only Jung Jaehyun made me feel like my heart is shattered into pieces.

Well, how did it all started?

Sitting on my chair signing a contract all day long is hella hectic and surely stressful. I surely need an award tonight for this, maybe going out with the girls tonight is one of the greatest ideas.

Arriving at the club, a tall handsome man with great features already attracts my attention. The both of us checking out each other shamelessly is a wholesome scenery for my best friend.

"Looks like my best friend took a liking at someone huh?" Yoona said, then she  smirk at me before handing me a glass of wine. I rolled my eyes at her playfully.

"Why, do you know him?" I asked her as my attention goes back to where the man is sitting while talking to a girl, who I assumed is his girlfriend.

"No, I don't know him but my boyfriend Johnny surely does. his name is Jaehyun, Jung Jaehyun to be exact." Yoona exclaimed as I drink my fourth glass of wine.

"Johnny do you know the girl beside him?" I asked. 

"Yeah, that's his girlfriend Yerim. I kinda don't like her though. Want me to introduce you to him?" Duh, Yes, I`d like to. 

"Sure" but before I can stand up, Jaehyun is already walking towards our table  then he greets Johnny and do their handshake.

"You look like you've gotten into a fight" I said eyeing him, Jaehyun. 

"I'm Mayjun, Han Mayjun. Nice to meet you Mr. Handsome" I wink at him before grabbing another drink. He noticed that I`m flirting so he decided to go with it.

"I'm Jaehyun, Johnny's best friend and yeah... me and my girlfriend fought earlier" Jaehyun sighed then I gave him a glass of wine.

"Here drink this" 

 Yoona and Johnny told us that they are gonna dance for a bit. Tsk, a bit my ass huh. I know that they will be gone for a whole night.

"I guess we're alone now" He said then smirked.  Because of that decided to tease him.

"That guy kinda looks hot don't you think so?" 

"Tsk" Jaehyun replied.

"Awe is someone`s jealous now Mr.handsome?" I playfully chuckle.

"Wanna go for a dance?" I asked him making my way to the dance floor.

"Sure wait for m-" before he could finish talking I already started dancing. swinging my hips to the beat seductively while looking at him deep in the eyes makes him feel some kind of things that he shouldn't be feeling at this point.

 "You have a girlfriend for fuck sake Jaehyun" he  murmured under his breath but I heard it. 

He lost it when I and bite my lips. He approach me and holds my hips like I`m his. Everything happened so fast his soft plump lips are kissing mine roughly while I`m slowly grinding against his hard erected manhood.

That's how I ended waking up on Jaehyun's bed early in the morning in his masculine pair of arms. Wrapped around your waist just how I want it to be.

I faced him and greeted by a half-naked Jaehyun making me blush so hard.

"Like what you see?" He said mockingly while slowly showing his beautiful dimple that makes me love him more. This is wrong but it feels so right. Well, bad feels good, good feels bad.

He stands up making me see a more clearer view of his muscular body.

"I-i know this is wrong. I'm sorry for seducing you I am sorry we're both drunk last night and you know it too." I look down shyly and guilt is washing over my  body.

"Hey, what are you saying!? You don't need to be sorry. We both chose to do this and we're gonna continue it." He hugs my waist. I look at his eyes and pissed is clearly written all over his face.

"But you have a girlfriend I can't share a man with that girl!" I rolled my eyes at him. I push him through his chest and that made him more pissed off.

"We already did it so what's the point of turning back!?" He pinned me to the wall harshly making me hiss in pain before crashing his lips to mine. Without knowing you kissed him back. After a minute of our hot make-out session he pulled you into his embrace.

"So?" He whispered.

"Fine let's continue it, it's not like I don`t have a choice" I sigh before putting on my clothes.

"Stay I'll cook breakfast" He demand.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No, I will not!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, you will" he said while approaching you.

"Jaehyun I'm already late. I'm the company`s CEO, I don't have a choice it's been a hectic week for our company."

"How about a dinner tonight?" He asked while fixing the watch on his wrist. Dinner sounds good.

"Okay, I'll eat dinner with you" I gave him a peck on his lips before leaving his house.

Sighing at myself, I rub my temples softly if yesterday was hella hectic then today is hella hell. A meeting here and there a contract to sign. I don't even get to eat lunch. I only have coffee and a subway burger that my secretary gave. 

I watch as the sun set a lot happened in a day. When the realization hits me, I don't even give Jaehyun my number nor my address. I consciously think of a way to contact him but it all stops when a soft knock interrupts my thoughts.

"Come in" I said clearing my throat, as my office door opens I see a glimpse of Jaehyun`s side profile.

"H-how?" I tried to remember if I gave him my address but no. 

I can`t recall anything. I stand up and he opens his arms for me to hug him but I walk pass him.

"Hey, I'm right here as you can see" he furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"duh! I know that I'm not blind" but deep inside I`m thinking how the heck he found out where I am.

"if you`re thinking how I get here, it`s because I tell my secretary to find you and here I am" Jaehyun admires my office for a bit. His taste is kinda similar to mine I think.

"by the way since last night I still didn't introduce my self properly I`m Jung Jaehyun the owner and CEO of Neo tech enterprises" Jaehyun smirk at my reaction.

 I can`t believe it the one whom I hook up with last night is one of the richest men I`ve ever know. His the owner of the number one technology company in South Korea with a New York branch. My company is ranked top 2 before his.

"and? that doesn`t change the fact that you`re cheating on your girlfriend with me." I huff in annoyance as the word "your girlfriend" slides to my tongue bitterly.

"I'm not here to argue with you okay? I`m here to have dinner with you. Now if you don`t want me here then bye" I`m shocked at his sudden change but you won`t easily chase him and lose. He wants to play? then let's play. But after thinking you decide not to play hard to get.

"Jaehyun I'm sorry okay? I-I`m just stress." then he smiles knowing that he already win. 

"Okay now don`t just stand there and let`s go." he emotionlessly said.

It`s been almost 4 months my relationship with Jaehyun is still going on. Everyone notices the tension every time we have a friend gathering. of course, we hook up here and there or whenever he wants to but today is different this past few weeks it`s like he been avoiding me. Not like the old days he always takes me to date and cuddles with me. He always makes me feel love, my friends already warn me that I might regret what we`re doing now in the future but I could care less.

Admiring my expensive dress in the mirror I sure do look mesmerizing, I always do. Many men are ready to give their love to me, many of them have already court me but none of them is in my standard. Yes I admit it I`m a picky and choosy person when it comes to my love life or personal affair but what can I do? when there is only one Jung Jaehyun in the world. The thought of him with another woman is making me jealous but that's not the point you already have him wrapped around your fingers. You're Han Mayjun and what Mayjun want, Mayjun get. You have it all powers, wealth, beauty, and most importantly Jung Jaehyun one of the richest and handsome men you've ever known. 

While sipping my favorite wine, I heard a light knock from my door assuming that it`s jaehyun but I remind myself that it`s not him because he already told me that he`s going to the gala with his girlfriend. Yeah, the girlfriend who he always takes to the gala with him. Because of this we argue with each other and I didn`t hear anything from him in 2 days but what can you do about it your relationship with him is all hidden from the public.

"Come in" the door open and my date for the night who is my Ex Jungwoo. I gotta admit, it took me so long to move on from him because of what happened between the two of us. He just suddenly leave me like nothing ever happened between the two of us. He leaves me without saying goodbye. almost 3 years ago he goes to the US to take over his dad company and comeback after a year and us two got into good chemistry and became a best friend that`s why he`s the one who I choose to be my date tonight at the gala. 

"Pleasure to meet you my love" Jungwoo holds my hand and kisses the top of it gently. It makes my heart flutter, I gotta hide it.

"No need to be so polite you know, I miss you Kim Jungwoo" I give him a big teddy bear hug who he accepts gladly. I take my time hugging Jungwoo it`s like his my comfort. The moment stops when his assistant interrupts us.

" Sir we have to go or we`ll be late for tonight's event" Jungwoo`s assistant clearly said for the both of us to hear.

"Shall we princess?" He smiles teasingly and I hate it. But I also find comfort in it.

"Oh, come on Woo stop with the pet names and let`s go" Slapping his arms playfully we go straight to Jungwoo`s car going to the Gala. It only takes a minute to arrive. Jungwoo immediately go outside of the car to open it for me and a thousand of lights flicking and clicking towards our direction. and Jung-woo shield me from it before walking in the red carpet we post while his arms are wrapped around my waist. Tomorrow the both of us will be surely the hit topic on social media and magazines almost in all newspaper headlines. Because they all know about our public relationship how it works out and how it ended.

I go inside the building with Jungwoo beside me and I see our group of friends waving at us and we approached them. I heard a whistle from Lucas and Yuqi my best friend. They started dating weeks ago, Lucas is Jaehyun`s best friend and Yuqi is my long-time friend just like Yoona.

"You look sexy tonight babe" Yuqi honestly said and all of them agreed. I`m  kinda shock that Lucas and Jungwoo know each other, almost all of them know each other.

Y`all are having fun talking to each other or whoever approach our table. Every minute, different Ceo. My friends notice that almost all of them is flirting with me but I shrugged it off and go on with having fun when the atmosphere suddenly changes. I turn around only to see Jaehyun approaching our table. He looks good tonight his hair is neatly done, the tuxedo that his wearing fits him well. Jungwoo notices the way that I look at Jaehyun. I used to look at him like that too. Sometimes he wonders what if he didn`t leave and break your heart? maybe I will still gonna be his.

-*-

Jaehyun is looking at you without thinking about others. He just wants to hug you, kiss you, and feel you on his body. But this day guilt is been washing all over his body that`s why he's trying to distance himself from you and he feels sorry for that but knowing that you go here with Jungwoo, makes him feels some kind of things that might not help in this kind of situation.

"Yow, what`s up dude?" mark happily greets him and invited him to sit he also knows what`s going on between the two of you. 

"Where`s Yerim?" Seulgi asks while the others shift their attention to Seulgi and Jaehyun, yeah you`re curious to where is Yerim? doesn`t she come here with jaehyun?

"She`s in the restroom" Jaehyun replies to them they ask him more things but he can only think about you, do you think about him too? the answer is probably yes but you can`t bring yourself to look at him you`re scared that you might cry in front of them and your pride will not let you.

"Hi babe sorry I need to go to the restroom and leave you alone" and that`s when Jaehyun finally talks normally and not dryly he`s usually not like this towards his friend but tonight is really different.

-*-

"It's okay baby come and sit here with me" my group of friends cheers for them playfully and that`s when I finally look at him with jealousy burning in my eyes. Everyone suddenly stops cheering realizing what`s going on between the two of us. Jaehyun smirked at me and this time I hate it. he wants to play a game? then let`s play.

I didn`t hesitate to roll my eyes at him and I turn to my side to face Jungwoo who is now in his 5th drink.

"Baby slow down you`re getting tipsy" I know that Jung-woo has a high alcohol tolerance but the show must go on. 

"I`m fine baby don't worry" Jungwoo only grins at me making you soft. When he suddenly gave you a peck on the lips, and you gave him one too. Oh, I know how much Jaehyun hates hearing somebody else calls me baby. Because he`s the only one who called me that. 

"Hey, you two if you`re going to get back together then don`t make it long! just do it." Yoona said making Yuqi, and Seulgi coo with their boyfriend. Jaehyun hates how you blush with their sudden statement but little did you know everyone is doing it on purpose so that Jaehyun can get jealous.

Jungwoo whispers in my ears, asking me if I wanna go home too but I hesitate.

"If you`re uncomfortable right now, I can take you home" I hesitantly look around and you see everyone talking about business, and you look at Jaehyun to only see him avoiding Yerim`s touch. My plan work I thought so I decided it`s better if I let Jungwoo take me home.

"Guys we`re going home now” Jungwoo and me bid our Goodbye to them and other businessmen in the party.

"okay, make sure you drive well Jungwoo if anything happens to my best friend I`ll kill you" Yuqi said before the both of us go outside to Jungwoo`s car.

We arrive at my house and I thank Jungwoo for helping me out tonight, and for driving me home. I don`t know why, but I`m excited to know if anything will happen tonight.

I go to my room to change into my night sleepwear. Silk shorts and an over size shirt to make me comfortable.

 Someone suddenly loudly knocks in the door making you startled.

"who`s there!?" 

"Just fucking open the door Mayjun!"

I hear his voice and that`s enough to know who he is. Opening the door a soft pair of lips land to mine kissing me roughly as if there's no tomorrow for it.

“Jaehyun stop! I`m tired!” I tried to push him but he`s stronger than me. He pinned me to the wall harshly, leaving wet kisses on my neck.

"Do you think ignoring me is fun!?" Silence.

"Do you think making me jealous with your  jerk ex is fun huh!?" Silence.

"Talk to me for Fuck sake! Don`t give me cold shoulders, look at me just once. Fuck just fuck this!" and that is my breaking point I can`t stand this argument anymore.

"I already told you Jaehyun that I`m tired so what`s the point of arguing here!?" am i scared? yes, I`m scared of him when he`s mad but I can`t let him win this time. He look so hot when he's mad but I can set that aside.

"Why does he already fuck you that`s why you`re tired?" He`s really mad now. No, he`s furious right now. He has said a hurtful and harsh word to me in the past but he never degrade me like this. I can`t let him belittle and look down on me. With the power I had, I slap him.

"You`re always like this when you`re jealous but today!? I don`t even know you, you only call for me whenever you need me. And when you need someone to comfort you or to fulfill your needs. I`m not you`re fucking toy Jaehyun!" I finally cried out and I said the unspoken words to him but at this point, he doesn`t know what to feel anymore he let his anger took over him.

"So what do you want me to do? always go to you!? for fuck sake we don`t even have a label Mayjun wake up! I have a girlfriend and you know that. You`re just someone I know who can fulfill my needs" He yells at me making me break into tears more.

"So that`s what I am to you? someone who can just fulfill your needs?"  you yell back and now I don`t even know what to do. I need to confirm something and his answer is what I need.

"T-tell me have you ever love me!?" I whispered timidly.

"I`ve never loved you not even once!" Those words coming out of his beautiful lips like nothing ever happened between the two of us.

"Leave! I hate you!" My tears starts falling from my eyes. I`ve never felt this broken before but the one and only Jung Jaehyun made you feel like your heart is shattered into pieces.

"If I didn`t make a move on you that night you`ll probably not gonna figure out that the girlfriend you love cheated on you first." his eyes widen in shock.

"Say that again!" 

"I said what I said Jaehyun, now leave!" He turned around and slam the door shut.

 -*-

He`s really sorry and guilty for what he said to you during the argument. All of that? he didn`t mean it and knowing that his girlfriend cheated on him first makes him sadder. That night the both of you spend the cold night without each other embrace crying all night silently. 

-*-

I should have listened to what my friend already warned me. But I`m thankful for them for supporting me after finding out that Yerim is not as good as we think.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun is crying his eyes and heart out in the middle of the night he`s blaming his self for hurting you.

 "I'm such an asshole!" He groaned and run his finger through his hair. 

he regrets all the things he said to you he cry and cry just like you. He throws all the things that he grabs on the floor making his hands bleed. But he could care less. There`s only one thing that he knows, he will get you back no matter what it takes. that night he called Yerim and break up with her.

-*-

It's been three days and I let my secretary do the works while I`m gone. A one-week break won`t hurt anyone when I`m the the one hurting right?

"Yoona can you please come to my place right now? I really need you right now" I try hard to hide my sob making Yoona concern but what can she do? she`s in the Maldives right now arranging her wedding with Johnny.

"Babe I`m sorry, I know you can overcome it. You`re a strong person Mayjun and you know it too. I`m sorry that I`m not on your side right to comfort you, I have to go Mayjun please eat well and take care of yourself the wedding is in a few days I love you!" and the line got disconnected even though Yoona is away from me she always makes sure that I`m okay. 

Suddenly the door of your room opens widely.

"Please didn`t I tell you that I want to be alone!" Not bothering to turn around because you thought that it was your brother Seojun.

 But no, the person who enters my room suddenly pulls me into a tight hug whispering comforting words to my ears. I know it`s Jungwoo he always does this when I need comfort. Without hesitating I let my emotions come out because I know that Jungwoo will not judge me.

"H-how?" I ask him between my sobs.

"Shh... Yoona called me and told me everything. It`ll be fine Mayjun I`m here" Jungwoo pats my back back softly to make me comfortable.

"J-Jung-woo why? am I not worthy enough to be loved? why do they always leave me?" 

"Hey, princess listen you`re beautiful, you`re worthy. I`m sorry for hurting you, I`m sorry that we hurt you" He kissed the top of my head and he let me fall asleep on his arms. 

A soft smile is written all over his face, he hopes that no one will hurt you anymore. He knows that you love Jaehyun dearly even though it hurts him he will help you get back together.

-*-

 6 days already passed and Jaehyun can`t focus on his work. You`re all he could think about he knows that he can see you on the wedding day but were you ready to face him? he`s scared that you might not even let him get close to you. so he keeps himself from working and working until he's exhausted.

Me on the other side is getting ready for my flight I will go there with Yuqi, Lucas and all of Nct members. It`s what they called the group, group of young tech CEO and one of the finest and richest men in South Korea.

"You don`t need to be nervous Mayjun. We`re here don`t worry" Yuta smile at me reassuringly. I sighed and after a long flight we headed to our designated car taking you to a beautiful beach. 

“You should enjoy this day Mayjun, you need to relax” I said and to myself. I hear my brother Seojun calling me from afar. And yeah, he`s still single is he?

I look around and I make eye contact with whom I want to see from the start but can`t admit it. I quickly look away, I try to find Yoona only to see her at her hotel room. Y`all girls are in the same room and it makes me feel at ease. 

"I think we should get wasted tonight!" Seulgi said happily and we agree with the idea. 

"We should celebrate before the wedding because this is the last day that we will call you Ms. Im. Because tomorrow you`re gonna be Mrs. Suh" I wink at her and y`all agree with the idea. So I change my clothes, I wear a sundress before going out with the girls and I avoid any interaction with Jaehyun.

-*-

"Johnny, do you think she will forgive me?" Jaehyun asks his friend while looking up in the sky feeling the cold breeze.

"Jaehyun I know what you did is wrong but let`s hope that she will forgive you just give her sometimes" Johnny then pats Jaehyun`s shoulder before giving him a small smile. 

"I have a plan and I`m determined to do this but I need your help" said Jaehyun.

Jaehyun then tells all the boys his plan for tomorrow and they`re more glad to help him out because they can see and feel how you love each other dearly.

-*-

It`s past midnight and  and the other girls are still having fun dancing and drinking until we get wasted. I drink a lot compared to them and they try to stop me but I just keep on dancing until all the girls got drunk. 

 Johnny suddenly realize that y`all are in the club and the boys got worried so they try to find y`all. Only to find all of us dancing like a sexy goddess, they hate how other men stare at my hips.

"Jaehyun you get Mayjun. Me, Lucas, and Mark will get them" Johnny goes to Yoona to cover her with his jacket and the others do the same.

"Oh, guys look it`s Jaehyun! doesn`t he look so handsome?" I grin at them making them laugh because I`m really not myself right now.

"Yeah, it` me now let`s go you need to take some rest" He clung me into his arms and I hug him tightly as I could. "Baby I can` breathe"

"Let`s stay like this for a minute please." I softly said.

"I miss you, you know every day I`m always thinking about you" I said while my  eyes are floating in tears. Making them all silent they just let me because they know how badly I was hurt. Yuqi, Yoona, and Seulgi is sobber now but here I am are crying in front of them.

"I miss you so much, my day is not complete without thinking of you. Everything reminds me of you even though you hurt me even though you didn`t love me I`m so thankful that I met you" I said weakly while softly caressing his face, tears is visible on his eyes too.

"No, all I said to you was a lie since the day that I met you I`m ready to risk everything for you that`s when I realize that cheating is my choice thank you for completing half of me thank you for letting me know that she cheated on me first I Love You so much Mayjun" I slowly nod at everything he explained to me and I gave him a peck on his lips.

 He wish, no, everyone wishes that you will remember all of this tomorrow. Your friends can`t help it that they start to tear up too.

It`s 6:00 am now and here I am comforting and thanking Yoona for staying by my side and I tell her not to get nervous.

"Yoona it`s okay you`ve been waiting for this, this is one of your biggest dreams and it came true now I`m so happy for you" I hug her as I admire her in her dress she looks beautiful and she always does.

_*_

On the other side of the room, there are the boys who are super chaotic they`re laughing and teasing Jaehyun and Johnny because of what happened last night but deep inside they`re so proud of each other.

"You`re getting married now Johnny I can`t believe it. And you`re marrying Yoona the woman of your life" Ten said while proudly smiling at him 

"Jung Jaehyun you better take care of Mayjun or else you know what will gonna happen" Jungwoo and Seojun said in unison they`re laughing at how they`re thinking the same thing.

"Hyung I`m the one who is supposed to say it!" Jungwoo said and Seojun only rolled his eyes at him.

"I heard you and Chaewon are dating" Jungwoo said making Seojun widen his eyes. He`s supposed to say it after the wedding but Jungwoo already said it.

"Kim Jungwoo you bastard!" Seojun glare at Jungwoo making everyone laugh in the room.

_*_

You may now kiss the bride. 

Y`all cheered for Johnny and Yoona when Yuta said. 

"G-guys J-jaehyun he got into an accident" Yuta is breathing heavily while saying it and I feel like my whole world stop.

" What!? How!?" I said.

 Concern is creeping up on my body. Yuta ask us to follow him and I run as fast as I can, I don`t really know where we`re going but I just keep following him. I want to see Jaehyun safe.

I run and run until I a see flower petals scattered in the sand with candles lighting the place up and I can`t help but to tear up. I turn around and I see my group of friends standing happily while holding a balloon that`s forming a word saying " Will you marry me"

And that`s when Jaehyun finally showed up while holding a bouquet of flower giving it to me while I cry, smiling at him he kneels in front of me and I cover my lips with my hands. I can`t help it but tears of joy are coming out from my eyes right now.

"Mayjun I know I hurt you, I know I said that I don`t love you but the truth is I`m scared. I`m scared that time that if I tell you my real feelings you will not love me back but I'm so fool to even think about your feelings. Now that I`m here and ready to give you more than my everything and stay with you" Jaehyun takes a deep breath to take more courage.

"Han Mayjun I Jung Jaehyun is asking you Will you marry me?" Jaehyun asks me wholeheartedly. And who am I to say no? when all of our friends are rooting for the both of us?

"Yes, Yes Jaehyun I`ll marry you" He put the diamond ring on my finger and he finally stands up and he spoon me around.

" I LOVE YOU JUNG JAEHYUN" I shout happily while showing my finger to my friends and they clap. 

They stand there proudly looking at us, This will not happen if they`re not here by our side. Strangers who watch the scene clap along with them and that`s how my story with Jung Jaaehyun starts again.

Always remember this "Everyone has a friend during each stage of life. But only lucky ones have the same friends in all stages of life.”

and that`s how Mayjun and Jaehyun with their friend life goes on.

[fangirlovestuff]

Holding On - Andy Barber x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!! i’m so happy i’m kicking the new year off with the loml andy barber aka if ‘husband material’ was a human. this is my entry for the Merry Hoemas Challenge, hosted by the absolutely amazing @amythedvdhoarder​ @chrissquares​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @pumpkin-and-pine��� and @starlightcrystalline. i know this is the last day, i’m sorry it’s so late but i hope you enjoy!<3

Summary: this year, christmas isn’t what it used to be. the story of you and andy through christmas, and the soft epilouge (angst with a happy ending because i’m mushy)

Prompts: sad memories of christmas past & new year countdown kiss

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none that i’ve seen:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first time in five years, you were spending Christmas alone.

Well, you weren't really alone. You were with your coworkers at a lame office holiday party. And you've done that before, but not without –

Point is, for the first time in five years, you were spending Christmas lonely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

five years ago

"So, what do you wanna do for Christmas?" you asked as Andy, your boyfriend of three months, sat down on the couch next to you. You were in the middle of a movie night, and he went to bring more popcorn, putting it halfway between your lap and his before wrapping his arm around you.

"Oh, I don't know. I haven't really… done Christmas in a while," he shrugged.

You gasped. "You can't just shrug something like that off! We have to do something big for Christmas now!" you exclaimed before reaching for your phone and typing away hastily.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled.

You just typed a number into your phone and dialed, and put your finger to your mouth shushing Andy. The person on the other side of the line picked up and you spoke.

"Hey, I was wondering what's the biggest Christmas tree you guys have available at the moment."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

four years ago

"Open it!" you said with a grin, waiting to see Andy's reaction to the gift you got him.

"Alright, alright, I'm opening it," he chuckled before tearing the wrapping paper, revealing a super fancy pen and a mug with the 'words cannot espresso how much you mean to me' printed on the side of it. Clutching the mug in his large hand, Andy let out a hearty laugh.

"Do you like it?" you grinned. You tried to be lighthearted, but honestly, Andy Barber was a difficult man to shop for. Your first Christmas together you could get away with the standard shirt or cologne, but now you wanted it to be a little more personal, and you hoped you'd succeeded.

"I love it," he smiled. Wrapping his arm around your shoulder, he brought you close and kissed your temple, prompting your grin to become larger, more sincere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

three years ago

"Are you sure you won't be back home in time?" you pouted.

"Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure, sweetheart," Andy sighed over the phone. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," you said, "I know work is important. You'll just unwrap your presents a little later."

"The greatest present I could get is you," you heard the smile in his voice.

"Exactly," you smirked.

It took him a couple of seconds to realize what you were saying before chuckling. You had the mental image of him shaking his head slightly. You wished so bad he was here so you could actually see it.

"I'll see you soon honey, I gotta go," he said.

"See you soon, love you," you said, and he returned it before hanging up the phone.

That night you were tossing and turning in your bed, unable to sleep. It was Christmas eve, and Andy wasn't here, and the thought sent a pang of sadness through your chest.

Suddenly, you heard the sound of the house door opening. Shaking off your thoughts, you tensed up, reaching for your phone on the nightstand. You heard the sound of approaching footsteps, and you jumped up, ready to bolt to the bathroom and lock yourself in there before hearing a familiar deep voice call out your name.

"Andy?" you said, disbelieving, before truly registering the man in front of you. "Andy!" you laughed in relief as you came and hugged him tightly. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you in the morning," he admitted a tad bashfully.

"Well, that was a surprise if I've ever seen one," you chuckled, "you nearly gave me a heart attack back there."

"I'm sorry," he grimaced.

"It's alright," you giggled, "you're home."

"Merry Christmas honey," he whispered as he buried his head into your neck.

"Merry Christmas Andy."'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

two years ago

"Honey, I'm home" Andy called out to you in an amused tone as he came in through the door.

"I'm in the kitchen," you called out, a grin on your face at his cheesy words.

You heard the shuffling of him taking off his shoes and hanging his coat before the padding of his footsteps, heading in your direction.

"Merry Christmas," he said as he entered the kitchen, immediately coming to wrap his arms around you and peek around your shoulder at the cookies you were making.

"It's not even Christmas eve yet," you laughed as you tilted your head back to kiss his cheek.

"A few hours don't really matter," he smiled and you scrunched up your nose just to make that smile turn into a hearty laugh.

You loved it when he laughed. You did your best to make him laugh as often as possible.

"Maybe you're right," you admitted with a smile. "Merry Christmas."

He opened his mouth expectantly, but you just tapped his chin with a smile, gesturing for him to close it. "These aren't ready yet." After a short pause you continued, "But of course, a few hours don't matter, right? If you want you can have some uncooked eggs right now, but I don't know if that's how I would wanna spend my Christmas," you smirked up at him.

"Touché," he chuckled before removing his arms from around your waist. "I'm gonna go get the decorations out of the attic so we can decorate, so just yell if you need anything, alright?"

"Yes sir," you mock saluted him and you both laughed softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

one year ago

"We're stuck," you let Andy know as you plopped onto the bed with a sigh.

"They don't have any more flights?" Andy asked, his brows furrowed.

"They said all of the are canceled because of the storm," you buried your face into the pillow, which muffled your next words, "And they said to further contact them for financial compensation."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," you felt the bed dip next to you as Andy sat down and started rubbing your back.

"I'm sorry," you flipped so you were laying on your back, facing him, "I know we planned on having Christmas at home this year, and now we're gonna spend it in this hotel far away."

"I don't mind," he shook his head before leaning down to envelop you in a hug and pulled you back up with him. "You're my home. I don't need anything else."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

present

"Champagne?" your coworker offered you a glass full of the bright beverage.

"No, thank you," you shook your head. "You know what? I think I forgot something at my desk upstairs, I'm just gonna run up there real quick," you excused yourself.

At this point, you were contemplating just leaving altogether, but you knew that wouldn't be the polite thing to do. Besides, sitting at home thinking about how you haven't seen Andy in months would be way more depressing. It's boring here, but at least you were somewhat distracted from the memories plaguing your mind.

Instead, you actually went up to your office. You started rummaging through some papers, pretending to be working. Then, you thought about clearing out your drawers, if you were already here. No one would notice if you were gone for a little while longer.

You started taking out papers and sorting them, throwing some away. The pile was getting slimmer and slimmer, until you saw something that made your breath hitch.

It was a photo of you and Andy, on the beach from a year ago. You both had such happy smiles on your faces in the picture, and you couldn't help letting a stray tear escape your eye.

When you heard footsteps approaching, you quickly wiped the tear from your cheek, putting the photograph away before turning around in your chair, "Sorry, I'll be righ-"

"Hi."

In front of you was Andy. To a stranger, he would look in tip-top shape, his suit and tie neatly arranged. But you were able to see the frantic look in his eyes, the twitch of his jaw, the way he rubbed his hand on his beard.

"Andy? What's going on?" you got up and got closer to him, standing in front of him and tilting your head up slightly to meet his gaze.

"I… look, I know we left things badly, and I know this might be a bad time. But I just… I couldn't spend Christmas without you," his voice cracked slightly. "I don't even know if you're dating anyone else already, but I just… I miss you, so much. If I didn't say it I'd go crazy," he chuckled.

"I miss you too," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "And I'm not… seeing anyone else either."

"Then will you… give me another chance? I'm sorry for what I did, for what I said. I haven't stopped playing it over and over in my mind, and I just… if you'll have me, I'd like to fix things. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't try."

"Okay," you nodded, "A chance. I can do that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

one year later

"Three… two… one… happy new year!" everyone yelled in unison and lifted their glasses in a toast. Andy smiled before pulling you in for a searing kiss, swaying slightly as your lips moved against each other.

"Happy new year Andy," you said against his lips when you parted.

"Happy new year sweetheart," he smiled.

You toasted your glasses against each other, and you smiled at the twinkle of the ring on your finger. It wasn't extremely new, it had been a few weeks already, but whenever you had it on it made you giddy.

It showed, among other things, that Andy wasn't going to give you up ever again. He told you that himself when he proposed.

And god knows you'd never give up the love of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i’d love to hear your thoughts🥺

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if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

[palettes-and-prompts]

Soulmate AU Prompts

Dialogue Prompts

1) "I refuse to believe this creature is my soulmate." "You better believe it, baby, I'm your soulmate and I'm the only one you're getting." 2) "I've met my soulmate and they are disgusting and foul and the most annoying person on the planet." "Yes, but they were chosen for you for a reason." 3) "Where's your mark at?" "Inside of my thigh." "Can I see it?" "If you'd like to hear from my fucking lawyer later then sure." 4) "Oh my god they're so stupid." "Hey, their soulmark kind of looks like yours." "Oh fuck." 5) "I don't believe in soulmates." "That's because you don't have one." "I have one, I have a mark." "Sorry, you're right, you have one. You just don't believe in them because you're upset they aren't around here." 6) "If when they get their soulmark it matches mine I will jump off this bridge." "Oh! Looks like you're gonna have to jump! Looks like you're going to have to do it!" "Shut the fuck up, C." 7) "You're a werewolf!" "But I'm still your soulmate." "Oh my god, am I a furry?" "Hey, fuck you!" 8) "Should we kiss? To see if we're soulmates?" "If you kiss me I'll kill you." 9) "What if we're soulmates, you don't even want to try and see?" "No." 10) "We're soulmates." "I don't believe in that shit." "I thought you liked me." "Well, then, I guess you thought wrong." 11) "Hey, I like your drawing. This looks like my soulmark I have on my hip." "This mark?" "Yeah." "This is on your hip?" "Yeah, why?" "Holy shit." 12) "What's your mark say? What are your soulmates first words to you?" "'Can you move out of my way, I'm trying to find my girlfriend/boyfriend.'" "Oh shit." "Yeah, I know." 13) "What are the first words your soulmate is going to say to you?" "'Damn, your ass looks good in those jeans tonight, bit--oh shit, oh my god I'm so sorry, I thought you were my friend Person A.'" "That's what yours says!? I can't even begin to imagine what theirs says." 14) "I'd take a bullet for you." "No you wouldn't." "No, I wouldn't. But I want to want to take a bullet for you." "Sometimes I think you'd make a better soulmate than whoever my soulmate is." 15) "Holy shit you're hot." "You're my soulmate?" "Okay, well, the way it's written on my wrist never sounded like that in my head. I figured the way you'd say it would be like ‘Damn! You're my soulmate?’ Like you were lucky I looked so good." "Oh no..." "Wha--Oh no? What do you mean oh no? I'm a catch. This is my friend Person A, they can tell you what a catch I am. Tell them." "I'm supposed to be getting married today!" "Ooh, yeah, okay, now I can see why you're upset. For a second I was rapidly losing confidence." 16) "You're my soulmate? No. No fucking way. I'm not living my life with this nightmare of a person." "Nightmare? I am not a nightmare. I am a goddamn dream. I'm pleasant to be around! I'm a national fucking treasure and Nick Cage wishes he could steal me!" 17) "Okay so don't be mad." "I'm already livid, please continue." "I may or may not have got in the wrong line to get my soulmark and accidentally mixed up my place and got the same mark as you." "Oh my god, are you kidding me?" "Look, I'm not pleased either. I'm not good at being on time, alright?" "The one time I decide to work with you you decide to ruin my life forever." "I'm not even the worst soulmate you could have. You could have gotten stuck with a murderer! Hmm? That would have been fun." "But my misery wouldn't be continuing like this if I'd gotten stuck with a murderer." 18) "You think I asked to be your soulmate? You think I asked to listen to you bitch and complain about every little fucking detail of everything? I wish I'd had my mark removed and my memory wiped because you are the worst soulmate in the history of soulmates." "If you don't want the mark then we'll just get them removed and we can forget about these arguments. We can forget about each other." 19) "Why didn't you tell me you were my soulmate?" "And get in the way of you and Person A? No way. You look at them like they're your whole world, you don't look at me like that. Just because we're soulmates doesn't mean you have to love me." "So you don't love me?" "I never said that." 20) "I don't care if A has my soulmark. You're my soulmate. You've always been my soulmate."

Regular Prompts

1) A comes from a wealthy family while B doesn't. B's excited that A is their soulmate but A is annoyed and offers the get the marks removed and pay B a large sum of money for the removal treatments and to keep B as far away from them as possible. 2) A's always been excited to meet their soulmate and can't wait to meet them. B's never believed in soulmates. When they meet A is excited and tells them they've always wanted to meet them and that they're excited to finally start a life with someone. B immediately lets A know they're not interested and don't care about the whole soulmate thing. A decides to spend their time convincing B that soulmates are a good thing and that they're perfect for one another. B tells them they'll spend a month with them but if they don't feel anything by the end of it A has to go with them to get it removed. 3) A's parents keep A isolated from the world for most of their life until it's time to meet their soulmate. They expect a to move in with and marry their soulmate within the first six months of meeting them because that's how things go. But when they meet their soulmate and their mark is activated their soulmate, person B, is already seeing someone born without a mark. When A explains that they're their soulmate B gets an apartment with them but refuses to break things off with Person C. A stays in their room for the most part while B comes and goes. A tries to win B's heart by cooking and eating dinner with them, but B insists they only moved in with them because they would have been arrested if they didn't. B tells them to give up but A insists they don't give up and that they're going to make B fall for them. 4) A goes to a marking ceremony where they stamp you with the marks based on compatibility, but when A and B get their position in line mixed up they end up getting marked as each other's soulmate. They don't get along at all and decide to ask the court if they can fix it. They tell them there's a removal process but that it takes months and cash. The two work hard and try to come up with ways to get money so they can afford it and when they get half the amount they need they realize they work well together. They laugh about it and decide to just try kissing as a joke or something. But when they kiss it's intense and they laugh it off until one's bold enough to ask if the other wants to do it again. When they do the two end up having incredible sex and decide maybe they should put off the removal process for a while so they can earn more money for important things they want and go to their friends weddings and things. But they just keep going to things and agreeing to go to places together that the thought of removal just disappears from their minds. (Bonus if it ends with their wedding.) 5) A is a super villain and B is a superhero. They meet in their normal identities and hit it off really well but keep making excuses to leave and save people or do bad things. They fight all the time but are never too badly injured for the other to notice. It's only when B is knocked unconscious by something that A unmasks them and panics, quickly making sure they'll be fine and set them on a roof so no one can find them but they're able to get up and go whenever they recover. A pretends not to know anything but B is curious as to why their rival hasn't shown their face in a while. They use their villain persona to invite B to a private meeting and tell them that they want to reveal themselves to them. B is confused but ready to take them in to the police. But when A reveals themselves to be their soulmate things get complicated. 6) A and B are from two different kingdoms and ice kingdom and a fire kingdom. When people are born with a soulmark from the opposite kingdom they are normally killed or their family hides the mark for them so no one can tell. A is the prince/princess of the ice kingdom and B is the prince/princess of the fire kingdom. When they're born with opposite marks their parents keep their marks hidden. When the two kings meet to keep peace and not start a war A and B join their meal and when they lock eyes they find themselves drawn to one another. When they excuse themselves to do something they reveal their marks to one another and touch hands, realizing they're unable to hurt one another. They agree to meet at the gate and have long chats about leaving home to be alone somewhere else. But when they leave the two kingdoms go to war and they know if they don't return people will die. When they return they do so holding hands, exposing their marks and revealing that they love one another. Their parents are shocked but don't know how to proceed. 7) A is an incredibly famous actress/actor who normally hides their mark to keep people from seeing it, but when it's leaked in a movie trailer by accident everyone desperately wants to have it. B is a baker who is trying to come up with more ideas for baked goods. When A comes in and sees B's mark they're annoyed and act rude thinking they're a fan who got the mark tattooed like many others have. B finds A incredibly obnoxious and explains they have no idea who they are but politely asks them to leave if they're going to be rude. A keeps coming back and trying new items while asking about B's soulmate. B claims that their soulmate is away, which A can tell is a lie. They end up growing closer and A invites B out to a movie premiere which B finds incredibly flashy but they agree because they do want to hang out with A. When it gets to the scene in the movie where A's soulmark is revealed they look over to see if B noticed but finds them asleep on their shoulder from baking all night to come up with another recipe. A is frustrated and decides to just come out to B and say it, surprising them. 8) (This one's long so I'll shorten it here by saying it's an AU where soulmate marks only form whenever soulmates kiss for the first time.) A is an incredibly famous musician who's known for being someone who is extremely money, sex, drugs, whatever. Person B is a model or an actor/actress who's famous but also known for being incredibly professional, doesn't drink or do drugs and is typically described as a buzzkill. When they're forced to work together for A's music video they're both annoyed. Person A finds B to be uptight and high maintenance and Person B finds A to be childish and annoying. A thinks the song is good while B makes an offhand comment that their songs aren't as good as they used to be. This upsets A and they leave the shoot telling everyone it's cancelled while B's boss tells them to fix it. They go to A's place to fix it but find A high out of their mind and insisting that B stay and that they can't call the hospital. B agrees and they listen to A go on about how B was right and that they worked on new songs and they have a moment but when A goes to kiss them B insists it isn't a good idea. When A comes down they remember everything and the two don't see each other for a while. But when they meet again to make the music video they find they have to kiss in a bathtub or something. When they kiss for the first time their soulmate marks form on their necks for the first time on camera and the music video ends with them pulling from each other and looking into each other's eyes as they realize they're soulmates. 9) A's a cam boy/cam girl that never shows their face while B constantly gets off too when they're alone. A and B form a kind of friendship. A's admits to never being really sold on the whole soulmate thing and doesn't really believe in it. B admits they do believe in soulmates but they've never met anyone with a mark that even looks remotely similar to theirs. A and B eventually start texting and talk about meeting up but never really end up doing it due to being too busy. When B tells them they just got a bonus and tell them they'll give the whole thing to see their face A tells them they like them and they'll do it for free if they send one back. They exchange nudes and B notices their soulmark on the back of A's neck. They immediately tell A they don't care how busy they are to meet them in person. A thinks it's just gonna be a hook up or something B just kisses them. A immediately sinks into it and B shows off their soulmark and A tells them they were actually really hoping their soulmate would be B. 10) A and B have known each other since they were kids. They have two incredibly similar soulmate marks but they're not completely identical. They become close friends and find themselves falling in love with each other as they get older. Neither one is brave enough to admit their feelings until they decide to tell each other on new years. But Person C shows up and their mark is identical to A's. B is devastated but happy for A. A is unhappy with C but assumes they're that way because of their feelings for B they've yet to get over. A tells C they're not ready to be intimate and C understands. When A's wedding comes up A finds them self looking at B the entire time longingly. A tells their family they aren't really ready to marry C and that they don't love them but B is the one that tells them it's okay. As A is about to say yes the ceremony is stopped and A's mom/dad admits they had A's mark tattooed to make it different from B's because they didn't want B to marry A. While A's other parent and the crowd are pissed A and B are just running into each others arms and just feel too complete to be angry in the moment.

[tmnt-mags]

Raphael x Fem!Reader

Reader is April's little sister and meets the turtles through her. I changed the ages and timeline a bit just because I don't feel entirely comfortable writing the turtles as 15 year old kids. SO the turtles are 18 the reader is 17 nearing 18 and april is 27.

Warnings: some mention of parent death, but nothing else!

Part 1/ ??

Im still pretty new at writing fanfic and have only done a few and this is my very first tmnt one. Constructive criticism and nice things only please!

I didn't remember my dad. My mother gave birth to me a month before his death. I didn’t remember him but my big sister April did. She told me everything she could about him, all kinds of stories and old home videos. It's almost like I know him but I don’t. Sometimes it's sad and I wish for nothing more than to have some memories with him, but I’ve had a good life and have a great family. I’ve lived with my sister since our mom passed 2 years ago from cancer. I miss her a lot, but I like living with April and I love our apartment.

We both have a deep love for media. She is a reporter with Channel 6 and I started making youtube videos right around the time mom died. It was like a video diary back then and has since turned into something completely different, though there are the occasional personal diary type videos.

I was wearing my favorite oversized sweater. It was a deep forest green and nearly reached my knees. It was worn and a bit tattered in some places, but it was the coziest thing ever.. I was barefoot in the kitchen listening to April talking about the latest Foot Clan activity and thinking about the questions she was planning for some guy who worked on the docks. She had convinced her camera guy Vern to take her over there before they shot her morning segment.

“You’re gonna be late!” I called into the living room while putting some breakfastt in a container for her to take on the road.

“Thank you shorty,” She rushed in and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she grabbed her breakfast and rushed out of the kitchen again to grab her bag “I’ll either be back for dinner or late!”

“That's really specific April,” I mutter as a lean in the kitchen doorway and watch her check her purse. “Do you have your touchup bag and your toothbrush?”

April let out a small gasp and rushed back to the bathroom. She came back out with a bag, gathered her things and blew a kiss as she ran out the door. I let out a laugh and went to eat my own food.

I spent the day editing a new video. I just hit 700k last week so I was making a special video to celebrate. It had some songs that I had covered laid over a video of me painting a portrait of my mother and father. It was taken a year before he had died and they had gone on a weekend getaway in the Appalachian mountains.

I didn't look up until April burst through the door. It was already dark out and I hadn’t even noticed.

“I just witnessed a Foot Clan attack!” she called as she walked through the apartment.

“What? Oh my god! Are you okay?” I practically jumped up and followed her as she began pacing around the living room. “April? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! There I was at the docks trying to get some answers and then BAM! They were there!” She went on about the attack and then started about some kind of vigilante that fought them off.

“Vigilante? Are you serious?” She didn't answer, she just went into her room. I sat back down on the couch and tried to process what she had said. In the end I shook it off and went get some dinner ready.

Over the next few days April was hard to find. She seemed to be constantly on the move and didn't answer her phone. She came home talking about dad's old experiments and giant turtles, and over the next 2 days seemed to just be gone. The spire on the Sacks building fell and The Shredder, who was the leader of the Foot Clan, was arrested and Eric Sacks was revealed to have been working alongside him the whole time. It was a wild time for New York, and April was suddenly quiet about the vigilantes.

Time began to move on and April started talking about these 4 new friends she had that were brothers. They seemed like a fun nice group, and the stories she shared were great.

“So,” I started as we sat together on the couch, “when do I get to meet the brothers?”

April choked on her glass of white wine. “What? Meet them?”

“Yeah, You talk about them all the time! I would like to meet them. They’re all you’ve been talking about for like 3 weeks.” I said as I pushed her with my foot.

“Ummm,” April stopped to think and had a vague look of concern on her face, “I'm not sure actually. They’re pretty busy guys.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Uh-huh. If you don't want me to meet them just say so. I was just curious.” I turn my face away from her.

“No it's not that, It's just they’re kinda shy. They don’t really like meeting people.” April's face said that she was telling a lie.

“Okay.” I left it at that clearly something is bugging her about me meeting her friends.

April-

April went to spend some time with the boys, but couldn’t stop thinking about them meeting her little sister. How would she react? She thought to herself, ‘I fainted when I met them, and there are still times when it kinda freaks me out a bit. I don’t want my baby sister to get scared and I don’t want the boys to get hurt because of it.’ They had tried to act like April’s reaction didn’t hurt them, but she knew it did. ‘I just want everyone to be happy.’ She was sitting in the lair watching the boys fight and Mikey brought up their Christmas pop album again. She smiled, (y/n) loved music and often performed covers on YouTube. She was really good at it. She had even written her own songs but at this point refused to release or talk about them on her channel.

“April, is something troubling you?” The brunette turned, surprised to see Master Splinter.

“Oh it’s nothing really.” She paused, “Actually could we talk? I am having some trouble.” Splinter nodded and gestured for her to follow. Not answering the questioning looks of the brothers, they went into Hashi.

“The boys avoid this room as much as possible,” Splinter said with a chuckle, “they will not listen in in here.”

“Makes sense,” April laughed and sat down on a mat with Splinter while looking at the odd structures in the room, “I’m having some trouble with my sister.”

“Oh yes, little (y/n) she had only just been born. I believe your father brought her down to the lab twice in those last weeks.” He thought back fondly on the small soft baby that looked so tiny in the arms of her father but so big compared to him then. “ what is it that is wrong?”

“She wants to meet the brothers. She doesn’t know that they are turtles, but she knows I have new friends.” April said looking down, “ we are very open. We’re the only family we have left so we always know each other's friends. It’s a safety thing I guess.”

Master Splinter hummed and looked at April, who continued.

“She wants to meet them and honestly I want her to too! I think they would all get along so well and I think the boys would adore her. It would also be nice to know that there are 4 ninjas who would look out for her.” April sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

“I just don’t want the boys to get hurt. What if she is afraid of them? What if she screams and calls them monsters or freaks? What if she passes out or cries. It would hurt them so much, and I don’t want to see my sister frightened anyway.” April’s shoulders slumped and she lowered her face to look across at Splinter.

“You know your sister well? Do you think she will react this way?” The rat questioned.

“I don’t know. This isn’t exactly a situation that has ever come up before or one I ever thought I would be in.” She played with her fingers in her lap and she watched him stroke his beard.

“I think you know your sister well and know what would be the best course of action.” He smiled, “I think the trouble now will be convincing the boys to risk meeting her. I have no doubt that it will be a split crowd.”

April nodded and gave a kind of exasperated smile. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Mikey and Ralph would agree, Donnie was iffy, but Leo would say no.

“Thank you Splinter. That does actually help. Do you mind if I stay in here a bit longer?” She asked.

“Go ahead child. Take your time.” Splinter got up and left the Hashi.

April sat and thought about what he had said. She thought back to everything she knew about her sister and what she knew of the boys. If her sister could be accepting she knew that they could have a great friendship. The boys were half a year older than her and they didn't know anyone their age. It would be nice for them to have that she thought. She knew Mikey would be super friendly right away, maybe even too friendly. Donnie would be polite but wary at first and a bit excited. Raph would be happy just to meet another person, but Leo would be cold. She feared that he would be distant and unapproachable and she knew her sister well enough to know she wouldn't be able to handle that.

She took her time and eventually rejoined the brothers. She brushed off their questions with a simple: “I needed advice.” She sat down with them as they all talked and joked around. Finally Donnie brought up the perfect opportunity.

“April you're lucky you don't have brothers.” He said as Mikey bombarded him with insane ideas for gadgets.

“Well I don't have any brothers but I do have a baby sister.” The turtles all turned towards her clearly shocked by this news. “She's actually about 4 months from turning 18.”

“Woah Angelcakes, We didn't know you had a lil’ sis. Is she as beautiful as you?” Mikey said while batting his eyes at her.

“I think she is absolutely gorgeous, and she sings and does art. She’s about to be a senior in high school.” April said while leaning closer to mikey. “Shes shorter than me and has curves for days. She used to be on the dance team actually.” April laughed and Mikey threw himself back and fanned himself with his hand.

“Why haven't you mentioned her?” Leo asked.

“You never asked if I had any siblings. She was born a few weeks before my dad died.” April smiled sadly at that “She actually asked if she could meet you.”

The boys seemed to freeze at that, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

“You told about us?”. Raph asked.

“Kinda. I might have left out the part about being ninja turtles, but I told her about my new friends and she wants to meet you guys.” Raph scoffed at her answer.

“So you didn't actually tell her about us.” He almost snapped at her.

“Cool it Raph.” leo warned.

“I don't wanna be looked at like a freak. She won't want to meet us when she sees us.” he stood up and walked off. April looked at the others who all looked like they wanted to disagree and agree with Raph at the same time.

“Sorry angelcakes, I'm sure baby angelcakes is great though.” Mikey shrugged.

April sat in disbelief that they all basically said no. The lair was quiet after that and she left after they ate some dinner.

She got home only to remember her sister was spending the night at her friends house. So she had the place all to herself. She let out a sigh and poured herself a tall glass of wine and sat on the couch thinking about the events of the day. She came up with a plan as she finished her cup and decided that by the end of the week they boys will have met her baby sister. She grabbed her phone and invited the boys to come hang out at her place for once this upcoming weekend. They didn't even ask if her sister would be there.

(Y/N)-

April had gone out to pick up some pizza for a late night dinner. I had school, homework, and some video editing to do and forgot to cook. April came home late and said not to worry about it and would grab some pizza. Her new favorite place didn’t offer delivery so she went to go get it. I decided that a nice hot shower sounded good and went in. I got out as I heard the front door open and close. I made my way to my room about to throw on my favorite green sweater only to remember that It had been washed and was in the dryer. So, I wrapped my towel back around me and opened my door to head out into the living room. I walked out and looked up only to meet with 4 pairs of eyes.

“Oh my bad,” I said, turning to go back to my room only to stop and turn right back around. “Ummmm���” I trailed off not sure what to say as I stared at 4 very large, very green, oddly human like turtles, all while in a bath towel that left most of my left hip exposed.

“Oh hi (y/n). I forgot to mention I had friends coming over.” April said walking into the room. “You might wanna put some clothes on though.”

“Yeah…” I said not able to look away from the very large turtle creatures sitting in the living room.

[khorren]

Fae's guide to Mad King's Lab.

Warning: Contains Opinions of a crispy 8 year vet who just wants everyone to have fun <3. It's a fun place, really! Bad groups make the baby Fae cry :(

First things first

Class to bring: Pick something mobile, tags a lot of things, and above all, mobile. Last year you'd see thieves and mesmers a plenty. Engies work too! Flamethrower and jump boots. Whee. A mediocre thief (that's me!) should have no problem with 500-600 bags an hour. If you're getting around a stack per half hour, you're doin' great. Even if you're getting a stack in an hour, that's cool. As long as you're having fun. You don't have to be OpTimAL on a damn festival farm.Just throwing out some numbers here!

Magic find! Go to your guild hall, and get the magic find buff from the tavern. Remember all those banners you got from the boss blitz event? Time to use em up! Halloween poops out magic find food and utilities, so don't really need to stock up before hand on these, just open a few ToT bags and you're good for the whole 3 week event.

Throw a Stamina and Speed sigil on your weapons. Endurance recharges like crazy, and speed sigil gives you all the swiftness. I refer back to point one. Be mobile. Be very mobile.

Don't be afraid to play with your traits. You're not looking for big DPS here, you're looking to tag things and be mobile.

Some groups will ask you to take off trinkets so your DPS isn't as high because you're one shotting things. The downside to this is when you fight Steve (The big skeleton with the chainsaw, we call him Steve. He looks like a Steve okay). It's polite to do this, or you can just be mindful and tag things once and move on. You only need to do like 1k damage to the mobs to get credit, you don't need to unleash your full raid ready DPS rotation. Tag and move on.

Autoloot mastery is key. If you're close to getting it, use this time before halloween to work on it. Otherwise you either end up leaving loot behind or you're the one left behind.

And most importantly, if you're new to the lab. Don't worry! It's not scary. It'll be a learning experience of how to keep up, and how to run in circles. You probably wont be pulling in big loot gains, but that's ok. Just learn from others. See what classes people are on, see what weapons they're using. Remember you’re scaled up here, so good time to level up a class :D

Getting into a lab instance! LFG fun times.

Lab can hold about 25 people. If you see a group in LFG with more than 25 people, just move to the next one. Or enjoy spamming "join instance" i guess? Commanders will generally keep their lfg up because numbers can dwindle pretty fast. Don't nag them to take their listing down. Just stop trying to join the big ones.

🚨🚨Controversy time! Alarm bells. Woo.🚨🚨  If you're there for profit, you want a lab that only does mob doors. Maybe vet doors at a push. But ignore "all doors" groups. Killing the big bosses takes way too much time. Sure you get some extra one per day loot, but you could have done like a full loop if not two in the time it takes you to to kill that stupid boss. No one is bringing their A game to fighting the bosses. People will die in droves to the Lich's Retaliation, and it's been 8 years and people still don't know to stand in the viscount's candy goo (but only a little bit) so they don't explode. Don't have high hopes for pug intelligence in the lab. Haha, looty man go brrrrr.You’ll sometimes get a daily to kill a boss, and that’s cool. Go do that.

And finally, when you join an instance and there's a group going on. Go join them. Don't open random doors, don't decide "i'm just gonna sit in the middle and afk farm!". By all means use a mount to catch up to the commander, but you MUST dismount, rather than use your number 1 skill to engage. You'll do too much DPS and be hated for the rest of the time you're in that group.Don’t be that guy. 

Tips for commanders and everyone else.

For the love of god, go counter/anti-clockwise. When you get to the point of getting to the South East loot door, you do not want your zerg passing through the boss door just to the north. Because someone will have opened it and he'll just be chilling there. You do not want to pull your little brainless zerg through the boss to get to the mob door. Please, please, please go anti-clockwise.

Since you can't just do mindless loops on the outside, you have to go into the middle to give things time to respawn. Generally you want to go in either the north and south sides, or the east and west sides. Decide right now if you're gonna be a north/south or an east/west and stick to it. Basically go in to the middle at west, do a loop of killing the mobs there (please still go anti-clockwise) and head back out the west the way you came in. Then when you loop around to the east, go in to the middle and do a loop of mob killing there. Again, back out the way you came in. If you're taking over from another commander then try to keep the same pattern they did.

Don't try to outrun Steve. It's not gonna happen. If he appears, you go kill him. No buts. If you've told your group to take off trinkets, this fight will take a while.

You only need to go to the SW corner when the door is up, otherwise just take the little shortcut to the side.

Simialrly, don't go backwards. If a door pops and you're less than 5 seconds away, sure, maybe consider it. But everyone on that loot train is on auto pilot and watching netflix on their second monitor / mobile phone / tablet. You doing a 180 out of nowhere isn't gonna win friends.

And finally, commanders, give your groups a little break once in a while. We’re all responsible gamers here! Maybe after an hour just give em a 5 minute break up at the centre. Don't be salty if people still wanna farm the centre mobs though. General tips to everyone, if you need to go pee or whatever, just go find a safe place and go. The group will move on without you and that's ok, you'll catch up. The same goes for the commander. If you need to bail for 5-10 mins it's cool. Most groups can run on auto pilot. Maybe hand the tag to someone temporarily, just like, communicate with your group. 

Tada. Yes I’m crispy when it comes to the lab. Thanks for asking. But yeah, some tips for everyone to have happy fun times.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[amanda-teaches]

Til Death Do Us Part? (1)

Series Summary: At a work party with your best friend, Dean, you panic when your new boss asks if you’re couple. Lying to protect your promotion, you wind up fake engaged before you can take it back. When Dean agrees to go along with your lie for a weekend retreat, you end up finding something neither of you had bargained for: love.

Pairing: AU Dean x Reader

Square filled: Fake Dating/Marriage for @spndeanbingo​, Fake Marriage for @spngenrebingo​, Mistaken for a couple for @spnfluffbingo​, “He’s always been there for me through all my terrible relationships and shit, and I can tell him anything” for @spnquotebingo​

Word Count: 2135

Warnings: A hint of future angst, some swearing, fluff

A/N: This is the first part of a little mini-series I’ve been working on. It will probably be around 3-4 parts, or more depending on how much fluffy cuteness I plop in the middle, but I’m pretty excited about it, so I wanted to share the first part with you all to see what you think. I hope you like it! Let me know! I haven’t finished writing yet, so you never know if your reactions may influence the series. ;)

Til Death Do Us Part? Masterlist

In the dead of the night, sitting on a deserted train station bench in the middle of the pouring rain, you finally felt safe enough to let yourself cry.

So, you sobbed. All alone, in the silky, golden evening gown that you’d felt so goddamn beautiful in, you sobbed, the tears running down your face and into your already-wet hair.

You pulled the note out of your pocket, watching as the words began to smear and run down the page.

To the Future Mrs. Winchester,

You look gorgeous tonight. Just like every night. Remember to save me a dance.

D

You closed your eyes and cried even harder, the sobs wracking your body. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It was all supposed to be fake, a means to an end, one friend helping another...

You weren’t supposed to fall in love. 

Damn that Dean Winchester.

One week and two days earlier…

You opened up the dating app on your phone, and scrolled through the dozens of “hey, sexy” and “what r u wearing?” messages before closing it again in disgust. “Oh my God, what’s the point of this stupid thing?”

Your best friend, Francesca, plopped down on the couch beside you, a bowl of popcorn in her hands, and looked over at your phone with a smirk. “The wonderful world of online dating?”

“How did you ever guess?” you answered sarcastically, amusement softening your tone. “Geez, it’s crazy! For every nice guy I find, there’s like 100 creeps.”

“Hey, what happened to that one guy? The therapist?”

You groaned. “He tried to psychoanalyze me all night. Wound up crying on my shoulder over his repressed daddy issues.”

“The architect?”

“Drew up the plans for our dream house within the first 10 minutes of the date.”

“The musician?”

“Texted his ex the whole night.”

She laughed and shook her head. “God, am I glad that I’m married.” Then, she turned to you, tucking a leg underneath her. “Hey, when are you going to give up on this whole online dating thing and just go out with Dean?”

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. “I’ve told you a thousand times. Dean and I are just friends.”

“Oh, sure,” she laughed. “Just friends who text everyday, spend hours on Facetime with each other, and act as each other’s emotional support systems. Y/N, you’re practically married. The only thing missing is the sex.”

“Francesca!” you cried, an undercurrent of laughter running through your voice. “We are not practically married. Look, I love Dean, he’s always been there for me through all my terrible relationships and shit, and I can tell him anything, but that’s all it is. We’re just friends, I swear.”

She looked at you for another moment, skepticism filling her eyes. “Mhmm, keep telling yourself that. I’m just saying, you could do a lot worse than Dean Winchester. You don’t snap him up now, someone else will. And, ‘just friends’ or not, Y/N, I can guarantee, if that happens, you’re gonna regret not going for it.”

She sat back, focusing on her popcorn and queueing up the movie for the night, but you stayed staring straight ahead, her words lingering in your head. You wanted Dean to be happy, to find someone, just like you were trying to. You wouldn’t regret that if it happened...right?

Picking up your phone again, you stared at the picture of you and Dean that lived on your lockscreen, a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. You were going to see him tomorrow. He was your “date” to a party your new boss was throwing to get to know everyone, but you’d only asked him because you didn’t want to go alone. He was always your plus one to these kinds of things, and vice versa. You both knew it was strictly as friends, there wasn’t anything more than that. Besides, you were sure that the two of you could never really work. 

At least that’s what you kept telling yourself.

The sound of Dean’s Impala rumbling up to your house the next morning made your heartbeat a little faster than you were willing to admit. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath to calm yourself and grabbed your purse and phone, heading towards the door. You were sitting in his passenger seat in no time at all, with him smiling at you from across the bench seat.

“Ready to impress the new boss?”

“Hell yeah,” you nodded. “Thanks for coming with me. I hate doing these things alone.”

“Course,” he replied, shifting the car into gear with an easy smile on your face. “You know how impressive I naturally am.”

“Mhmm,” you laughed, shaking your head slightly. He grinned and winked at you, pulling the car into the street on the way to the “garden party” as your boss was calling it.

You were expecting some sort of outdoor barbecue/picnic situation, but when Dean pulled up in front of the mini mansion the address led to, and you saw the valets parking the cars, you were glad you’d worn your nicest sun dress.

“Damn,” he whistled, under his breath, staring out the dashboard. “Who’s your new boss, Richie Rich?”

“Apparently,” you muttered, still in disbelief. “I was not expecting this when I woke up this morning.”

“But, good news,” Dean pointed out, stopping his car in the middle of the circular driveway. “I bet the free food’s gonna be out of this world.”

You laughed as Dean got out, rushing around to your side of the car to open the door for you. You smiled and thanked him, and, after watching him warn the valet to treat his baby better than his own mother, he escorted you inside, your arm intertwined with his. He whispered something that made you laugh again, and you leaned into him, whispering back, as if being this close was the most natural thing in the world. If only it was this easy with every other guy.

When you got to the backyard, Dean dropped your arm, making a beeline for the rows of white-linen tables stacked with food. You started to follow him, but, when you spotted your new boss out of the corner of your eye, you changed tactics, wanting to make a good impression on her before she was inundated with too many people.

“Clarissa, hi,” you stammered, a little awkwardly, once you reached her. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you,” she said politely, turning to you. She studied you for a brief second before recognition registered, and her eyes lit up, a genuine smile replacing the formal one. “Oh! Y/N, right?”

“Uh, yes, yes!” You couldn’t believe she remembered your name already. Since you were one of four people vying for a coveted promotion at the company, this could be your big chance. “I’d really love to get a chance to talk with you about my thoughts on the Newman project.”

“Oh, of course, dear,” she humored you, dismissing the work talk by looking around. “Where did that nice young man that you came in with go?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Oh, Dean? He went to get us some food.”

“That’s so sweet of him. You’ve got yourself a good one there.”

“Oh no, we’re just…”

“You know,” she said, cutting you off. “There’s a couple’s retreat next weekend for some of the higher ups in the firm, a little bonding experience, so to say. There’s an open spot left. Maybe you and your young man could come?” She leaned in and gave you a conspiratorial wink. “We’d have plenty of time to talk more if you were there.”

“A couple’s retreat?” you repeated back, growing flustered. “But, Dean and I, we aren’t…”

She glanced at your ring finger. “Oh, dear, you two aren’t married yet. Such a shame. Unfortunately, the retreat is for married and engaged couples only.” She sighed, staring down at her mimosa. “Oh, I guess I’ll have to give Stuart your spot.”

Stuart? Oh, no way in hell. That guy had been gunning for your promotion for well over a year. You panicked, looking over at Dean, who’d piled two plates full of food over at the buffet. Watching him, you imagined your promotion flying away, and you blurted out the only hail mary you could think of. “Wait! Dean and I are engaged!”

Clarissa’s eyes widened with excitement. “Oh, really?! I didn’t see a ring, so I just assumed.”

“Oh, well,” you bluffed, struggling to think of a believable cover. “It’s all pretty recent, so the ring’s, uh, getting resized. But, yes, we’re engaged. Fully committed and engaged to be married.”

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands. “Then, you two can come to the retreat next weekend! It’s up at the Mountview, all inclusive.”

You whistled under your breath. Damn, the Mountview. It cost like 1,000 a night to stay there. Suddenly, you realized what you were doing, and you knew this innocent little lie was spiraling way out of control.

“Actually…”

She waved you off, looking over your shoulder. “This is so great! I’ve heard really great things about you, Y/N. I can’t wait for you and your fiance to knock the socks off our executives. Now, if you’ll excuse me for just a second.”

Before you could stop her, she was gone, having spotted someone across the room. You were left standing alone, and, looking up, you spotted Dean smiling at you from across the lawn, holding up his plates of food triumphantly.

Oh God, were you screwed.

“YOU SAID WHAT?!”

You looked around for a second, putting your hand on his chest to quiet him. “Shh, someone might hear.”

“So fuckin’ what if they hear, Y/N! You told your boss we were engaged!”

“I know, I know,” you whispered. You grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him further into the hallway off the doors to the backyard, so your argument would be blocked from where the party was still going on, in full swing. “I’m an idiot, okay? I fully admit that.”

He looked down at you and exhaled heavily, running his hand through his hair. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I don’t know!” you sputtered, beginning to ramble. “She thought we were a couple, and I tried to explain we were just friends, but then she kept talking and talking, and the retreat was all BAM, Mountview! And, then, then, she wanted to invite Stuart, I mean Stuart, of all people, and I just panicked, and, I...”

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, placing his hands firmly on your shoulders. “Chill before you pass out on me. Deep breaths.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, leaning into him. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, the argument instantly forgotten, and pulled you into a warm, safe hug. “I’m so sorry…” you mumbled against his chest. “I just wanted that promotion so bad, I think I went a little crazy. I’ll go out there right now and tell her the truth.”

He sighed, his breath ghosting against your hair. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

Pulling back, you looked up at him, puzzled. “What?”

“Well, you already told her we were engaged, and if you backtrack now, she’s going to think you’re a crazy liar. Besides, it’s only one weekend, right?”

“Wait, are you saying we should actually go? And, pretend to be engaged?”

His face split into an eager smile. “Yeah. We’re best friends, so we already know everything about each other. How hard can fake marriage be? We pretend to be engaged for a weekend, you get your promotion, then we ‘break up’ and decide we’re better off as friends. No one’s any wiser.”

You stared at him for a second, the ramifications of his plan running through your head. Francesca’s words came screaming back at you. “Y/N, you’re practically married. The only thing missing is the sex.” Dean was right, you did know everything about each other. How hard could it be to fake a relationship for a weekend. “Are you sure?” you asked sincerely. “I mean, really, really sure.”

He nodded, taking your hands in his and dropping to his knee with a dramatic flourish. “Y/N Y/L/N, will you fake marry me?”

You laughed looking down at him, the sight of his goofy grin instantly bringing a smile to your face. You nodded, agreeing, but, no matter how much you tried to ignore the voice in the back of your head, Francesca’s other words lingered. “You don’t snap him up now, someone else will. And, ‘just friends’ or not, Y/N, I can guarantee, if that happens, you’re gonna regret not going for it.”

Shit, you really were in over your head this time.

Forevers- @atc74​ @babypieandwhiskey​ @be-amaziing​ @carryonmywaywardcaptain​ @deans-dirty-writer​ @deanwanddamons​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @dolphincliffs​ @edgeofreality35​ @emoryhemsworth​ @focusonspn​ @hannahindie​ @heyitscam99​ @impala-dreamer​ @impandagrl​ @karikatz12481​ @katymacsupernatural​ @maddiepants​ @masksandtruths​ @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester​ @mysterious-398​ @ohmychuckitssamanddean​ @pinknerdpanda​ @roxyspearing​ @spnbaby-67​ @squirrel-moose-winchester​ @wi-deangirl77​ @wonderfulworldofwinchester​

Dean Tags - @adoptdontshoppets​ @akshi8278​ @alexwinchester23​  @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @squirrelnotsam​

[blesspastacraig]

A Year in Review

I wanted to creat a list of sorts of everything I wrote in 2020, since I managed to do a lot.

Here’s my one shots:

Not Alone - Published 08 Jan 2020

"I keep telling you, I don't want to go" Craig complains as he burps one of his two newborn twin daughters. His mom, thankfully is burping the other. Craig knows he should be nicer to her but two newborns has him at the end of his tether.

"I know but I'm going to keep pushing you until you do" she says, swaying and patting Daisy's back.

or Craig and Tweek bond at a young parents group because they're the only two people with twins.

New Beginnings - Published 19 Feb 2020

Tweek doesn’t want to push her, so they’re both a little cautious of one another. Tweek doesn’t want to barge in and fill a role she hasn’t given him yet. She’s never had a second parental figure before, and Tweek doesn’t want to force himself into that slot. He barely feels worthy of being the father to his biological child, let alone a stepdad figure to this poor little girl who’s life he’s just invaded.

Or Tweek takes Craig's daughter to a daddy daughter dance because Craig is unable.

Love Chooses You - Published 29 March 2020

He's heard the phrase that you can't choose who you love before, and really, right now he knows it's true. Damien never would have chosen to love Pip of all people.

Rebuild - Published 11 May 2020

“I’m flying Craig!” Tweek cries from the top of the concrete slab. Craig doesn’t answer, only sighs. He sinks down knowing he’s gonna let it happen. He doesn’t want to let it happen but the alcohol has made him slow. Kinda in the same way the drugs have made Tweek fast. They’re out of sync with no way of catching up until sobriety. So Craig just watches, letting it happen. Like he’s watching his own body do nothing. The inner voice tells him to move, to stop it but the body can’t unstick itself from the ground.

Coming Out - Published 20 May 2020

If Tweek is being honest his friends were Craig’s friends, originally. Now they’re his friends too but before Tweek had been a bit of a loner. Not by choice, but for whatever reason kids at school either didn’t like him or just didn’t know he existed. He spent most of his time alone, reading books, studying, playing music or anything one can do alone to ease boredom. For the longest time he’d been the freak and now he actually had friends, like, for real.

Red Racer and Ice Cream - Published 12 June 2020

He could leave, but he knows Tweek will start worrying about him. Tweek is having a good night, he seems pleasantly drunk and is having a great time with Jimmy and Token. Craig doesn't want to wreck what is shaping up to ve a good night for Tweek. It's taken a while to get Tweek to really feel comfortable in social situations like these. He wants Tweek to have the best night he can.

Much Ado About Theatre - Published 15 June 2020

"It's in english stupid, just old english" Tweek reminds Craig.

"Whatever I don't get it. It's like reading gibberish" Craig says dismissively, clearly frustrated.

"Why are you -nghh- taking this class then?" Tweek asks, purely curious. It's not just Shakespeare Craig seems disinterested in. He seems uncomfortable onstage as a whole.

"Because you're taking it" Craig admits sheepishly, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

Sure - Published 19 June 2020

Craig gets his first piercing and Tweek accompanies for moral support. They talk about facing fears and the future.

or Tweek is covered with piercings and tattoos and Craig is a body mod virgin.

Firsts - Published 02 July 2020

Craig likes having a Birthday in the winter. It's kind of a good excuse for only inviting like, four people to his gatherings on the excuse they can't go outside. Craig was never big on the schoolyard politics, even when he was small. The idea that he had to have the biggest party, or the most extravagant and have to decide who or whom not to invite stressed him out. He likes having the excuse that he only had a small house, and that his Birthday was in winter in Colorado, so that he can only invite his best friends and be done with it.

or Craig and Tweek's first birthdays together as boyfriends.

Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Vasopressin - Published July 11 2020

Tweek sighs boredly as he stirs the potion in his cauldron. It's not that he doesn't like earning a living making potions for people and casting spells but it's so much of the same thing. It's always love potions, that's all he makes these days.

Distracted - Published 26 July 2020

Tweek and Craig needed this break so badly. He feels kind of bad for Craig's mom, who is probably going to have a sleepless night babysitting their son. But holy shit, they needed this.

Stir Crazy - Published 14 August 2020

Craig Tucker: Tucker baby coming 2020! We could not be more excited to announce that Tweek and I are having a baby! There's no one else I'd rather go on this crazy journey with. - with Tweek Tucker.

or Craig is pregnant in quarantine.

Source Decay - Published 16 August 2020

Craig still hasn't taken off his wedding ring. He knows he should, but he just hasn't found it in him yet. He knows Tweek hasn't either, he's seen it in pictures even though now they've been separated longer than they were together.

Baby’s First Skateboard - Published 10 September 2020

Craig and Tweek never really grew out of skateboarding. They do it less often than they did before becoming parents, but they still do their best to make time.

You’re the Boss at Home - Published 18 September 2020

So he has mixed feelings about his last day. He knows he'll miss working, he's always been a working person and he knows he won't like sitting at home waiting to go into labor. But also, he doesn't have to deal with everyone fussing over him being pregnant anymore.

Little Star - Published 03 October 2020

This can't be happening to him, he can't have a baby! What would he do with a baby? He doesn't know. He doesn't even know what he's going to do when he goes into labour. He knows, inevitably he will. That he will go into labour, the baby has to come out some way and it's gonna hurt. He knows all this, but he can't bring himself to ask for help. He knows he's in trouble but he doesn't know how to ask for help.

Baby Love - Published 02 November 2020

Craig tries to swallow down the pain. He can't yell or cry out. Everyone will know then. He has to stay quiet or else everyone will know. He bites down on his lip hard and crouches on the floor near his bed. He has to just breathe, if he breathes through it he can make it. He knows he can.

This Time Around - Published 12 November 2020

Tweek knew he was pregnant with his second child straight away. It was a 180 from his first pregnancy, where he took months to figure it out. When he was pregnant with his first child, his son Teddy, he didn't really have much in the way of symptoms besides being hungry all the time. That was pretty easy to dismiss and write off. They weren't trying for a baby, so Tweek had no reason to assume he was pregnant. He only worked it out because he began showing.

Whatever We Are - Published 22 December 2020

It's hard because Stan isn't quite sure what he is to Kyle. Is it just sex? Is it more? Does Kyle maybe wanna make it more official soon? Stan doesn't know. He knows he loves Kyle and he'd pretty much do whatever Kyle wants. But for now, he's just enjoying the intimacy.

Temptation - Published 24 December 2020

Being summoned is kinda annoying. It's kind of like being asleep, super deeply and then pulled into the bright bustling world with no warning. It's no wonder most demons are angry and violent.

Tweek is an imp, so he's more on the mischievous, poltergeist side of the spectrum. He still scares the shit out of most people who summon him. Usually kids with ouija boards who don't know what they're doing. It's whatever, Tweek usually chases them for a bit, makes them scream and that's enough mischief for one day. Tweek can choose to appear by choice, and leave when he wants to but he rarely does. Humans are mostly annoying, so he stays in his own little world until some idiot summons him.

Traditions - Published 25 December 2020

"I hate Christmas" Craig sighs, looking around at all the lights and decorations. He glares at all the people bustling around. Don't they have homes to go to? He rests a hand on his swollen stomach, he certainly wishes he was home.

Here’s My Multichapters, completed and ongoing:

The Sound of Silence - Completed 25 January 2020

15 Chapters

Craig manages to find himself alone, jobless and a new parent. He struggles to put the pieces of his life back together and build something new for both himself and his daughter.

Don’t Break Me - Completed 26 March 2020

2 Chapters

"What are you -ngrhh- accusing me of?" Tweek growls.

"Literally nothing Tweek, I'm accusing you of your health improving? Isn't that good?" Craig huffs in annoyance. He's sick of his intentions being misinterpreted.

Insight - Completed 10 April 2020

2 Chapters

Craig listens to the incessant ticking of the clock on his wall. He can’t actually see it, it’s night and all the lights are off. But he can hear it, a constant reminder of the passing of time. He knows he should sleep, he really wishes he could but it’s just too hard. Knowing Tweek isn’t here but not knowing where Tweek is. He can’t help but worry even though he has so much more to worry about. His mom would tell him off, tell him he needs to rest but this thing with Tweek has him so messed up.

When We’re Older - Completed 04 July 2020

10 Chapters

When they're older they'll start again. They'll get married, find a house, do it all right. Have children when the time is right and build the loving, nurturing home they both have always wanted.

Stowaway - Completed 14 July 2020

3 Chapters

He's slowly beginning to accept it himself, yes, he's pregnant. He knows it but he's not quite ready to face the consequences yet. He didn't intend to get pregnant, he just got too drunk at a party and had sex with a childhood friend. Consensual but unprotected. He feels stupid now.

So he hides them, the baby, like a little stowaway.

Algorithm - Completed 12 August 2020

5 Chapters

Craig shakes his head. He looks at the homemade bracelet which spells Craig on Tweeks wrist. His heart breaks thinking about how Tweek will cut it off once he knows the truth.

Two for the Price of One - Completed 26 August 2020

4 Chapters

Craig has never been one to succumb to baby fever. He knows a lot of people in his profession do. Both he and his husband, Tweek, professional lives revolve around babies. Newborns too, and while Craig acknowledges that babies may be cute, other people's kids have never really triggered some urge to have his own.

Hungry - Completed 11 September 2020

2 Chapters

Tweek has heard about cryptic pregnancies before. He's seen I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant before, people saying they didn't have any nausea, felt normal, didn't put on weight. This isn't quite that, Tweek gained a small amount of weight. He felt fatigued, but he just put that down to stress. He didn't feel nauseous unless he had a headache, so it was really easy to blame that on the headache. The real only symptom he's had is the hunger. He doesn't think it's far fetched that he didn't realise, surely?

or Tweek doesn't realise he's pregnant because his only real symptom is being hungry all the time :)

Creek Week 2020 - Completed 02 November 2020

7 Chapters

My contribution for this years Creek Week 2020

All seven of these are short snippets of either fics I intend to write, or AU's I have left unfinished. But I thought it might be fun to share small excerpts.

Complicated - Ongoing, Last updated 08 January 2021

18 Chapters Published, 20 Chapters all together.

Craig kind of has an image. It's not that he's pretending to be someone else, but he likes to be perceived as aloof, cold and quiet. He's nice to people who truly know him, but he doesn't like to be perceived as soft from the outside. People already think he's kind of weird, and putting up those walls really helps him to keep unwanted people out. His boyfriend sees his sensitive side, his friends do and his family do. The rest of the world gets a cold shoulder, at least until he gets to know someone and decides to let them in.

Craig and Tweek figure out an unplanned pregnancy, Craig learns families come in all shapes and sizes. Especially LGBTQ ones.

AO3 Statistics:

Word Count: 261512

Hits: 22599

Works Published: 31

Top Five Fics by Hits:

1. Complicated

2. When We’re Older

3. The Sound of Silence

4. Stowaway

5. Hungry

All in all, not a bad output. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read, leave kudos and comment. ❤️

[arietaurumini]

Soulmate → Lee Sangyeon

@rainbowglitteramythyst​ asked: Hey can I get a Sangyeon imagine with #3 and #11 please thank you 🤗💖 

Prompts:

3. “You can break my soul, take my life away. Beat me, hurt me, kill me. But for the love of God, don’t touch him.”

11. “So, you’re a werewolf, huh?”

Requested.

Word Count: 4.6k

Pairings: Werewolf!Sangyeon x female reader

Warnings: Slight violence.

Genre: Fluff, angst.

You finally woke up - after all your mother’s attempts to wake you- and you realized that you have half an hour to get ready to school or else... Let’s not talk about that. You jumped out of your bed and ran to the bathroom, took a quick shower, brushed your teeth and wore your school uniform. You combed your hair, put on your your shoes and grabbed your bag.

“Mom I’m off to school” You yelled before closing the door and setting off for school.

You managed to get to school just a few minutes early. You ran inside, walking through the hall which was deserted. As you passed the principle office you heard the door opens and your name being called. You stopped in your tracks and turned to see the caller who was of course Mr. Kim, your principle.

“For the love of god I was almost there!” You whined stumbling your feet when you heard the bell ring. “You can’t put me in detention I got here two minutes beforeــ” You continued rambling but he interrupted you.

“I didn’t stop you to put you in detention, Y/N, come in.” He said smiling and ushered you inside his office and entered. You hesitated thinking if you weren’t in trouble what he could possibly want you for? You followed him closing the door and standing in front of his desk.

“Now, Y/N, here’s your permission to get into class.” He said passing you a piece of paper then he pointed to a place behind you and continued, “We have a new transfer student, his name is Sangyeon and he will be in your class.” You turned your head to where he pointed only to find a tall, well-built, pale boy with light brown hair standing in the corner behind. You smiled at him politely and nodded your head but he didn’t even look at you.

“I want you to take him with you to class and if you have nothing to do, you might as well show him around in your free time.” Mr. Kim told you before turning to Sangyeon, "Now Sangyeon, you can follow Y/N she will show you around, and welcome to our school.”

With that both you and Sangyeon knew you were dismissed, you both nodded and left the office. You were so happy that you got permission to get into class, even though you didn’t like the idea of showing Sangyeon around but life is not that fair

You looked at him with a friendly smile and said, "Hi, I’m Y/N and I will be your classmaــ”

 Before you could continue he started walking without even looking at you, processing what just happened you trailed after him, deciding not to start a conversation anymore, you walked silently in front of him until you reached your class.

You knocked and the teacher opened the door, “Y/N, why are you late this time?” The teacher asked and you handed her the principal’s permission then you got in and sat beside your friends.

“Alright class, we have a new student, please introduce yourself.” The teacher said ushering for Sangyeon to speak. No one bothered to pay her attention they were all immersed in what they were doing. Your were watching his every movement, why is he so mysterious, you thought.

He stood beside the teacher and smiled widely, “Hi, I'm Lee Sangyeon, nice to meet you all.” He said warmly and bowed before walking to the empty seat at the back of the class. You were so confused by the change in his attitude, now suddenly everyone started murmuring and you could hear some of it,

“Oh my god he is so handsome!”

“His smile is cute!”

Girls started gossiping about him around you, even your friends. You were just watching him where he sat and then turned and focused on the board.

***

Two classes passed and it was lunch time, it’s not gonna be that bad, you thought, as you walked from your desk to Sangyeon’s. He was bending on the desk, his head rested on his arms, you thought he was sleeping, so you reached your hand to wake him up. And before your fingers touched his shoulder, before you can even process it, his face was only few inches away from yours, his eyes gazing through yours and he had your wrist twisted in his hand.

His grip was so strong, and you couldn’t get your wrist out of it, and it was getting more painful. “Yah! Let me go!” You demanded still attempting to free your wrist. His grip loosened and you got your hand out, now standing back and putting space between you and rubbed your wrist, “Mr. Kim, told me to show you around, remember?” You said in a cold tone.

He just nodded and followed you, you both walked out of class, and you began showing him around and he would always nod without speaking. After you finished your tour, you both went to the cafeteria. You wanted to offer him if he wants to sit with you and your friends but he just left you a went to sit on another table with four other boys. As you sat with your friends you watched him, talk and laugh with those boys, then you remembered what happened in the classroom and frowned wondering why did he do that back in the classroom, you sighed and decided to stop thinking about him and gossip with your friends.

***

- Two Weeks Later -

“I told you it’s not just a high reflex!” You screamed at your best friend, making everyone in cafeteria look at you. You bowed apologetically then continued in a low voice, “I told you, it wasn’t, if only my hand was a reflex, what about the fan in the art room that fell and almost killed me? He didn’t just catch it! He snapped it in two! And also yesterday, when I was about to cross the street and he grabbed me, a few seconds later came a speeding car from around the block! How did he know? It wasn’t visible nor audible and he just knew it was coming!” You kept going at your friend trying to prove your point but she wasn’t convinced.

“Y/N, calm down, I told you it’s just a high reflex, and about the fan, can’t you see his muscles? I bet he is strong enough to snap a door in two, not just the fan, plus if you are right and he’s not a normal boy what do you think he is? A vampire?” Your best friend said sarcastically. You continued eating in silence but the thought hadn’t left your mind, what if he really wasn’t normal and that he really had special powers?

Next day, in the P. E class, you were cleaning the lab after the class ended, a detention the science teacher gave you for talking in class. While you were collecting the tubes and the materials from the desks you heard noises.

You followed the noises to where it came from, to the class room next to the lab, there you saw Sangyeon and the four boys that he always hang out with. They were all tall except for one, all of them had the same cold aura that Sangyeon had, you know they are in the same year as you but you didn’t know them personally. Your curiosity was killing you, so you stood beside the door to be able to hear them but they won’t be able to see you.

“I told you Jacob, it’s him.” You heard one of them say.

“But Jae, what if he is not? What if he is just an innocent human?” That boy Jacob replied.

“I agree with Jae, I’ve been watching him for weeks he is definitely the hunter.” Another voice came.

“Then should we get the rest of the pack?” The Jae one asked.

“Yes, we’re gonna tell them,” Said another one.

“Alright then, let’s go before anyone suspects your absence,” You finally heard Sangyeon’s voice.

Hunter? Pack? You were trying to understand what they were talking about, then you realized that they all fell silent. You heard foot steps, so you stayed still trying not make any sounds. The foot steps came close and the door opened you saw half the figure of that person as he left.

Claws! You are not dreaming, you are 100% sure those weren’t human hands! That figure had claws! He then walked out of the door and waited. The others came out and disappeared from sight, one after one. You were still standing silently, waiting for the last figure to walk away but he didn’t budge. Instead, you saw him turning, his face now visible to you, that face and that clawed figure was no one but Sangyeon, Your class mate.

He stayed there for a moment, you were scared that he would see you, but then you saw him going back inside the classroom. You took the opportunity and slowly moved out of your place and into the next class room. You were trying to steady your breath, when the door of the class slammed open and revealed Sangyeon’s figure.

You couldn't even move and you just stood there as he took slow steps towards you, you noticed that his hands were back to normal. But that doesn’t mean he can’t transform back any second. Then he spoke,

“I don’t know how much you heard Y/N, but what I know..” He paused and continued walking towards you. “Is that if anybody knows anything about it, you are surly gonna regret it.” He said in a low raspy voice, you shivered, not sure is it because of his voice or his warning.

He was now standing few inches from you, he gazed into your eyes for a few seconds before he bent down to reach your height, so your faces now were so close that your noses almost touched, and it made your heart skip a beat. Nevertheless you kept your eyes locked up to his.

“And next time you want to stalk me,” He whispered “Don’t wear that perfume.. I can smell it from a mile away.” You took so much to process what he said as your brain was malfunctioning from his closeness. He backed away, turned and started walking to the door. You asked a question that made you want to slap yourself, for asking it.

“So, you’re a werewolf, huh?”

He stopped and turned to you, “Took you long enough to process it Y/N?” He asked smirking, “Did I make myself clear about not telling anyone?” He asked once more with the warning tone again. You nodded rapidly, your heart was about to pop out of your chest. With that he nodded and left.

***

For the next few days, nothing happened, you would only watch Sangyeon from a far, and he sometimes would catch you and you would turn away quickly. Until that sciences period, that you both - For your unfortunate luck - were lab partners. As you were working together you would look at him,

“Until when are you going to stare at me as if I was a celebrity, Y/N?” He said without looking at you. You were surprised by what he said the you almost dropped the tube in your hands.

“It’s..” You began but your words died, you thought it wasn’t a good idea to continue. “Spit it out, I won’t bite you.. Not yet.” He smiled sarcastically.

If it weren't for that smile, you would have been scared to death but You took a breath and went on, “I just can’t believe that you’re a..” He shot you a warning look and you swallowed, “You know what I’m talking about, eh,” You said.

"And why is that? Didn’t you already suspect it?" He scoffed and you shook your head scared, “no I didn’t!” You denied. He raised an eyebrow and smirked, “What about that day in the cafeteria with your friend?” He asked going back to working. You thought for a minute, then you remembered and your eyes widened.

“How did you..” Your words died again, he laughed at your reaction, “You weren’t even that close to hear!” You whispered. “You really don’t know anything about us, Y/N.” He told you as the bell rang and the teacher asked you to collect your things and leave.

“Then why don’t you tell me?" You asked as you were walking out of the lab and regretted it almost immediately, because he stopped in his track and turned to you, then stepped forward and closed the gap between you.

“If I teach you about us,” He whispered beside your ear and it made your heart skip a beat, “Will you stop bothering me around?” He asked backing a little so he can look you in the eyes. His breath was hitting your face and his face was so close that you couldn’t even think and just made a small nod.

He stepped back, “Alright then, it’s a deal.” He said smiling, and stretched his hand out for a hand shake.

You looked at his hand and you remembered the sight of the claws, which made you hesitate, but when you looked back at his smile, you too smiled and stretched your hand and shook it.

***

For the next week, you two would spend time together after school and he would teach you about werewolves, you would sometimes ask stupid questions and then he would leave you making you run after him apologising for your stupidity. But you too became closer that you’re almost friends. Plus, you didn’t fear him any more.

“So you can transform anytime you want but only partly.. And you can fully transform only when it full moon?” You were recalling what he just told you.

“Exactly.” he said, as you were both walking home after school. And with that you both continued walking in silence. Then something came in your head but you weren’t sure you wanted to say it, but you being you, you know you can still try.

“Sangyeon,” He hummed in response, “Why did you agree to tell me? I mean aren’t you afraid that I might..” He interrupted you, “I trust you.” He simply answered. His answer rang in your head and somehow it made you blush.

You shook your head and cleared your throat and decided to change the subject, “But you said that every werewolf belongs to a pack, to which he is loyal.. Are these four boys you always hang around with are your pack?” You asked.

“Yes, but our pack has eleven members,” He replied. “Who's the Alpha? Is he that very pale, very tall, black haired boy from the other class?" You asked, he laughed at you description. “His name is Younghoon, and no he is not,” He said before adding, “I am.” He winked at you. “You are the alpha?!” You stopped walking and looked at him with wide eye.

“Yes,” He said and stretched himself in pride. “But Younghoon is the strongest though.. Second strongest,” He smirked and continued walking. “Tell me the names of the others!” You said excitedly making him smile at you, “Alright, there is Jacob he is that a bit short tanned one and there is Juyeon, he is the tall, tanned and the blonde pale one is Hyunjaeـ” You interrupted him, “That’s the one you call Jae?" He nodded, “Yes, those are the ones in our school, the rest are Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, Haknyeon, Sunwoo, and Youngjae is our youngest.” He finished and you both reached your usual parting point. You said good bye and both of you went on your way.

As you were walking to your house, you sensed that someone was following you.. You picked up your pace then broke into run when the footsteps of the follower became a really close. You stopped when you felt that you were far enough, you sat on the pavement, panting you tried to steady your breathing, then when you stood up and turned to continue you way, you saw a hooded figure right in front of you. You took steps back and you were about to run, but he caught your arm. You let out a scream, fighting to get out of his grip but you felt something poking lightly at your side.

“If you let out another sound, I will make you regret it,” He whispered next to your ear, You were scared to death and your brain was malfunctioning, you couldn’t think of anything so you just stopped moving. “Good girl,” He said and dragged you to a narrow alley.

Your tears started falling silently on your cheeks as you walked with him. You were praying that someone would show up and save you, but the road was deserted. He made you stop and listened, you too could hear foot steps getting closer. You were about to scream but he put his hand on your mouth to stop you, your screams came muffled.

“Stop.. Stop it!” He whisper-yelled at you dragging you away but you continued, it was your only hope to escape.

Then you heard a growl, not a human one, and you saw a hairy figure at the end of the alley, even though you were blinded by your tears, but you knew it was him, you shouted for him, and struggled against your kidnapper’s grip. You heard another growl and the kidnapper pushed you away and broke into a run, Sangyeon ran to you and held you.

“Are you okay?” You heard his raspy voice, and all you could was hug him, laying all your weight on him, as you sobbed harder in his chest, and you could feel him changing back to his human form, because as he patted your head his hands didn’t have claws anymore. You stayed like this for a few minutes until you calmed down. Then you unwrapped your arms from around him and slowly stepped back.

“Thank you,” You said looking into his eyes, as you can finally see clearly. He reached his hand and dried the tears on your cheeks, and you know if you weren’t in this situation, you would blush. “Did he tell you anything? About who he is?” He asked and you shook your head no.

He then looked at a spot behind you. You turned to see where he is looking and you found something on the floor just a few inches away. He went and picked it up and sniffed it. You followed him to see what it was. It was a watch, the kidnapper must have dropped it when he was running away. You looked close and that’s when you felt like you were struck by lightning.

“It’s..” You began but the words couldn’t make its way out of your throat. “Mr. Lee, the science teacher, Jae was right.” He said picking it and standing up. “So-o.. He’s.. T-the hunter?” You shivered as you recalled everything that happened. Sangyeon nodded, still examining the watch. Then he looked at you, “Come on, let’s get you home.” He said and started walking and you followed him.

“How did you find me?" you asked as you walked back to the road. “I heard your scream,” He said, “I walked back and saw your bag on the ground, so I ran and your scent kept getting more powerful..” You interrupted him. “My scent?!" You scoffed, “Yes... I told I can smell your perfume from a mile away.” He smiled and you blushed.

You reached the main road again, he gave you your bag, and you walked together to your house in silence.

If Mr. Lee is really the hunter that they were talking about... Why did he come after you? Why didn’t he go for Sangyeon? Doesn’t he have this thing called wolfsbane?

“It was an identity check.” Sangyeon said suddenly cutting off your train of thoughts

“Huh?" you looked at him in confusion. “He used you to know if I’m really the werewolf he was looking for.” He replied simply. “What do you mean? Why is he looking for you?” You asked worriedly, he sighed and said, “Our pack used to have twelve members, one us was killed by the hunters, his name was Hyunjoon, he was from the young members,” He paused, “He had been hunting that teacher for a while as he tried to attack Jae before.. Then one year ago, we found him.. Hyunjoon found him.. In a school like ours, but he also found about Hyunjoon, and the latter thought that he could do the job alone and went for him, we tried to save him but we arrived too late.” He held the watch in his hands, “We found a watch like this one beside him.” He finished and looked at you, you could see his glassy eyes.

“So you came for revenge?” You chocked as a lump formed in your throat. He nodded and looked down. “So are you going to tell them?” You asked again and reached your hand to remove his hair off his face. “No,” He shook his head. “None of them is strong enough to face him.. I will go alone.” He told you.

You finally reached your home and stopped at the gate. You were thinking about what he said. “But he knows about you! That would be really dangerous,” you said worriedly. “Don’t worry about me,” He said and smiled to you. “Just try not to follow me this time.” He said and with that he left.

***

You woke up late the next day, as you couldn’t sleep last night. All you were thinking about was Sangyeon and what he’s going to do. You ran to school and you already knew you would receive detention for being late. You passed by the principle’s office, but this time he didn’t come out and yell at you like always. Instead you heard two voice coming from the inside. You crouched down to look from the window and saw two figures talking to each other.

One of them was the principle and the other was.. Mr. Lee.

The principle was yelling at him and went back to his desk. On his desk you saw bullets and he gave them to Mr. Lee. That was the last thing you saw before you ran to class.

After lunch time you ran to the school yard, you knew it was their P . E period so went to the yard and searched for them, they were sitting on a bench together talking, as you approached them. You were so scared but you had no choice.

“You were right, Mr Lee is a hunter.” You panted as you stood in front of the one named Jae.

They looked at you in confusion before they all stood up and came closer to you. Now you’re scared to death as you found yourself surrounded by a ring of werewolves who could attack you any second.

”Who are you? And what are you talking about?” Jacob asked

"I’m Y/N, Sangyeon’s classmate... I was attacked by Mr. Lee yesterday and he saved me.. And he said that he will go for him todayـ” Younghoon cut you off, “Why didn’t he tell us?” You looked at him and answered, “Because he thinks no one of you is strong enough to face a hunter.. But the problem is there are more than a hunter,” You said and it was as if they were all struck by lightning, “The principal is also a hunter.. I saw him giving Mr. Lee the wolfsbane just now.” You finished and you felt that you were going to collapse any minute.

“Does he know..? Sangyeon.. Does he know there are two hunter?” Juyeon asked and you shook your head.

“You need to stop him.” You demanded, “Even if we ten combined we will never be able to stop him.. He is the alpha.” Jae said

You were about to talk when all their phones started buzzing.

“He is texting us?” Asked Juyeon.

“He’s in class how can he..”  You trailed before it hit you like a train. “He is trying to get detention!” You half screamed, “That’s when he plans to attack! Listen do you have science today?” You asked and they nodded in unison. “Then try to get detentions too.. Maybe we can’t stop him, but we can at least back him up... and tell the rest of the pack.” You said,

After school you ran to the classroom where you receive detention. But Sangyeon wasn’t there. Damn you Sangyeon! He tricked you, he knew you were going to tell them and he didn’t want you to follow him.

You thought about the places he could use... The quiet, far ones..The principal's office..the rooftop and the lab.. You excused yourself to the bathroom, and ran, you made sure you legs make an echo so the others can hear you.

You reached the lab and you were right, you saw Sangyeon going in. You hid under the window and watched. They were talking, you kept watching and in a matter of seconds, Sangyeon transformed and charged towards him, but Mr. Lee was quicker to get his gun out and shoot him. You screamed, as Sangyeon fell on the ground squirming in pain.

You couldn’t take it, you opened the door and ran in, standing infront of Sangyeon.

“Y/N.. What.. Are... You doing?” Sangyeon said trying to fight the pain and stand up.

“Get out of the way!” Mr. Lee shouted pointing the gun at you, but you didn’t budge. You saw the other door of the lab open and the principle got in.

“Bold of you Y/N to assume he won’t shoot just because you’re standing in front of him.” Mr Kim said, and you knew Sangyeon was surprised.

“I don't care!” You stepped forward boldly, then with eyes filled with tears, you said almost begging.

“You can break my soul, take my life away.. Beat me, hurt me, kill me. But for the love of God, don’t touch him.”

And for the first time you realised how much you love him.

“How romantic!” Said Mr. Kim clapping his hands. Then he ushered for Mr. Lee.

You closed your eyes waiting for the bullet to hit you but it didn’t come. Instead you heard a loud bang and then the room was filled with growls. You opened your eyes to find ten other werewolves in the room.

“Get out!” One of them growled at you.

“But Sangyeon..” He cut you off, “I said get out!” You realised that it wasn’t a nice idea to argue and ran out of the lab.

You looked behind you and saw two of them supporting Sangyeon out. You ran to them and shouted his name. “Y/N, follow us.” You recognized his voice, it was Jacob, you nodded and followed them. They lied him in a classroom far away from the battle.

“We need to go back.” He said, “Don’t worry, I will take care of him.” You assured him and they ran back, you went to sit next to Sangyeon.

“Are you okay?” You asked worriedly as tears trickled down on your cheeks.

He nodded and answered weakly, “Don’t worry.. One bullet.. Is not enough.. To kill the alpha.” He slowly put his hand on yours.

”Remember when.. I told you about.. Mating?” He asked looking up to meet your eyes, “That a werewolf can mate meets someone and then they find out they’re soulmates?” You asked through your tears and he nodded.

“I didn’t realise until now.. I was mated with you... You are my soulmate, Y/N.” He said gazing into your eyes. Then he pushed himself up and pressed his lips to yours.

Written by : Jade

[steve0discusses]

S4 Ep38: Awkward Hugs Episode

Remember how excited I was about the good storyboarder? Well this episode has the opposite of that. It looks a lot like they hit some sort of crunch and this entire episode got shipped to Singapore so that some other animation studio could deal with their problems. It’s got some jank.

And like listen, animation is hard, there’s a billion moving plates, there’s a lot of office politics and deadlines, this season in particular is very long and complicated, and I don’t know exactly what happened this episode, but it just...wow it’s a lot funny poorly animated moments and I was here for it.

So first off, Dartz died! I didn’t even cap it because it happened so quickly. He was standing there, a portal opened up, and then the Great Leviathan kind of munched him up in 3 frames of animation, and then dissolved away back into the portal. It was card shenanigans anyway, and I don’t go over card games here--just trust me he played cards, he lost, he died.

Once Dartz died, this happened, in the one place Roland thought he was safe.

Roland has spent a good amount of this time debating whether or not to go inside and now he’s got a situation. Is it safer in Soul Hut than...whatever this is?

I wouldn’t know either.

So he just decides to uh...look directly at it while everyone else deals with orb hell.

The three knights of Atlantis decide to revive the respective owners of their cards.

So Pegasus just has to sit back, relax, and find some other unsuspecting orb person to share his fanfiction deep cuts with.

PS, that was not an exaggeration on the lazy PowerPoint spiral-in transition--this episode was a marvel of “Oh crap we ran out of time!” last-ditch effort animation and I approve.

(read more under the cut)

And if you thought they were done being orbs now that we’re on a physical mortal plane--nah.

This is the closest Pharoah and Yugi have ever gotten to a physical hug. Just throwing it out there that this is the only time they’ve touched in any way as two separate entities. Also--I like that this is the same way Yugi holds his necklace when he’s talking to Pharaoh. Cute little parallel there.

And as I mentioned, there were a lot of people just hugging it out as if it’s the last episode of the season. First off, one of the most huggy people on this show, which I’m still surprised is the Kaibas.

(he did legitimately pretend to be asleep by the way, because as he was spiraling out of hell he was like “whaoooahahhh”)

So I guess if Mokuba, Tristan, and Tea woke up without being orbs first, then that really does mean they never died 2 episodes ago.

Fine. This is fine. I’ll append my headcanon.

...so Dartz really was just so tired of them that he decided to make them take a nap, huh? That Mokuba was so annoying he was just like “I’m turning them off ok? Not like OFF off, not killing them or anything, that would be rude--I just don’t like small one.”

Meanwhile Tea has a Yugi appreciation moment where she’s reunited with her very confusing relationship. Which is how she likes it best. Undefined in nearly every sort of way. A relationship made entirely out of subtext.

(and honestly, relationships made entirely out of subtext is like 75% of the teen dating experience, which I may have mentioned before, but I do not remember if I have because 2020 has wiped my memory of just so many things.)

I vocally, out-loud, went “Ahhhh!” at the screen because I FORGOT how big his eyes are. They are so wild usually, but with the animation B-team at the helm, I was just not ready for the eyes to return. Yugi’s eyes are just...an abomination in every way and I forget when I see them consistently. I get used to them, I get over it...But when I go an entire season without these hell eyes staring directly at me every five seconds, then it’s like I’ve seen them for the first time.

I’m glad he’s back but man his eyes.

Those eyes.

Anyway, on for some more awkward hugs. First off, Yugi’s visceral reaction to his pretty-much-a-wife-at-this-point giving him a...hug?

(she’s kneeling, by the way. Bro mentioned that it looks like she picked him up and held him entirely by the neck--that would have been great, and I would never doubt Tea’s strength, but she had the decency not to do that.)

And then to Yugi’s just overall confusion to whatever Joey Wheeler defines as a hug.

I am 5 feet 0 inches tall, much like Yugi, and can confirm that yes, some people do hug me like this.

This type of hug should be illegal, it’s very disorienting.

Then, Yugi got to do what he does best.

The FIRST THING he does from coming back from death is immediately hold back information. Mm. Yugi at his finest.

At the point that you’d assume that someone in this room would indicate that maybe this hell vortex is like...a situation...Roland comes in the room screaming for Kaiba to come outside and tell him what the hell to do with his life.

So they go outside and the city of Atlantis is popping out of the sea and flying directly into the air--which...sure, it doesn’t really go in the air usually...but I’ll take it.

And in case you’re like...wait, I thought Atlantis was in California, not in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, don’t worry, it’ll get even more confusing later on.

Also, this happened.

Most of the human race freakin died so like...not sure what we should be concerned about here. Gotta get that one last guy in Florida to board up his house, I guess.

I like that Tea is contractually obligated to beg Yugi to stay behind so she doesn’t have to live without him when...it’s like...Tea, your relationship is already a big ass question mark, and Yugi actually dying did not even mean you were living without him. He’s been around this whole season as Pharaoh, my dude. You have the only boyfriend who will not only never officially date you but will also officially never go away.

So like...earlier in the season it was mentioned that Florida had the pieces of Atlantis shoved in a museum so like...is Atlantis off of Florida now? Because the Battle of Atlantis was in the Bay Area, and Dartz lives in San Francisco, and they went on a helicopter and flew out to the sea so...

We GOTTA be in the Pacific, right?

Anyway, it could be that they’re worried it’ll hit the East Coast of Japan--which, yes--it would. That would also be way more pertinent to our cast of people who live in Japan, it’s just that if you’re doing a show in English that takes place in the USA and you say the “East Coast” it only means New York.

I don’t think the translation team got the memo, it was a very weird line.

Tea wishes Yugi luck instead of Pharaoh for once, and Yugi was like “I don’t know why you want to talk to me instead of the version of me with the fine ass.” and his confusion was kind of cute, but they didn’t actually go into any more deets than this.

Valon and Mai were almost making out with each other’s dead body like ten episodes ago, so maybe the team felt like they had enough practice to maybe almost approach something happening with their flagship couple? Almost.

But also...Yugi just has no idea that a few days ago Tea was trying to get Pharaoh to talk to her on a Caltrain by talking about wearing little swimsuits on a Florida beach date, and then Pharaoh got so upset he went to the tiny area between trains and started sobbing while punching a wall. Yugi doesn’t know this. I don’t think anyone will ever tell him.

And like...will anyone tell Yugi that Pharaoh woke up in Tea’s bed? Like no one, right? Like no one even knows that happened? The irony of how cautious Yugi is with this relationship after Pharaoh was just slicing and dicing for this entire season is great. It’s also probably unintentional, but I can still laugh at it.

Anyway, inside soul hut, Yugi got a little lost, and then his puzzle started glowing and brought him to the Macguffins from last season. Would have been really inconvenient if these got doused in the sea, honestly, and I don’t think the Ishtars would have appreciated it.

Also, this puzzle sensor would have been really, really useful in S2.

Meanwhile, I think Seto and Joey just stared at this glowy gate of hell thing being all “Do you know what this is, Kaiba? I was dead” and Kaiba being all “Hell if I know, I was also dead, I don’t know what this thing is.” And Joey being like “Well Yugi doesn’t know what it is, he was also dead.” and Kaiba being like “The only one of us alive was the dead guy who lives in Yugi’s imagination?”

And then Joey being like “Also, where the hell are we?”

So, frustrated that this obvious trap was simply too confounding, Dartz decides to explain to our dumb as hell cast what a “door” is.

Where we can then admire the sights of Atlantis! Which is mostly brick buildings and giant gates with snakes on them.

Also it would just be COVERED in dead fish but we’re gonna skip that and save it for what would be an extremely ill-fated Netflix live-action series that they will probably eventually make of Season 4. Netflix can’t help itself, you know it can’t. This is a spicy series. It would be terrible in gritty live action. Make it happen, Netflix.

I feel like the artist was trying desperately to fix Joey’s bangs and I feel that on an emotional level. We all want to fix Joey’s bangs. Why did they stop at Joey?

They find Dartz in some weird Gazebo which...OK. It was a whole lot of weird concept art that I didn’t cap because it’s like...nothing is terrifying about a Gazebo...

I straight up don’t understand Atlantis culture.

So, Dartz decided that he could just...use himself to raise the Great Leviathan. He had only one more soul he needed, and he was just as powerful as Yami--so lets just do it, lets just raise the snake!

MAN I just realized what a euphemism this season is.

Good job, Dartz.

Course this is how he spun his story to us, but he seemed pretty surprised when the Great Leviathan gobbled him up in the first 10 minutes of the episode.

But this is the story Dartz is sticking to. He, himself, will raise the Leviathan, himself, and he is very happy with his decision that he made all by himself. I mean, Dartz has been alive for 10,000 years, and maybe he got bored of immortality.

Dartz could have done this from day 1.

What’s up, Sephiroth? Nice little uh final fantasy thing we’re doing with this lizard’s face. I really can’t unsee these uneven man boobs (like what is that angle?) but it’s fine. Dartz doesn’t need hands or...legs...he’s a dragon now, like he can just bite stuff and fly around and stuff. Can’t be that bad.

But for reals, what is the dragon’s angle here?

what is it gonna DO?

Like after everyone’s dead. Is it just gonna...float around? Fly around outer space? Enjoy the sunrise?

Like what do dragons...DO?

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll never get the answer on why the Leviathan wanted to leave the core of the Earth so stinkin bad, but maybe--just maybe--this season might actually end next episode? Maybe?

Will I actually finish this season in 2020! I might! Y’all I MIGHT!

And for anyone reading these for the first time, here’s a link to read these in chrono order

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 6: Why so Blue? (originally published on January 11, 2021)

Author's Note: This is one chapter I've been excited to write. In my opinion, Lapis is my favorite character because aside from having cool powers and being pretty, I also relate to her a lot because I've been through a lot of suffering like her. Though thankfully, I wasn't caught up in warfare, trapped in a mirror for thousands of years, and finally released only to be trapped in a walking, talking abusive relationship under the sea; just some standard bullying by people who love pushing my buttons, being framed for something I obviously didn't do that forced me to drop out of my first high school following first semester of freshman year. But enough about my life story, onto my #1 Gem waifu!

Synopsis: Steven and Lapis try to confront a pair of Lapises that continue terraforming worlds.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven

Jennifer Paz as Lapis Lazuli, Mean Lapis, Nice Lapis

Amy Sedaris as Blue Zircon

--

"Thanks for the help Lapis." Steven thanked Lapis Lazuli as they planted some new flowers in his conservatory. "These blue hyacinth flowers really tie the place together."

"You're welcome, Steven," Lapis replied with a smile. "Peridot helped me pick these out from the greenhouse. You know, it's funny. The two of us didn't get along at first, me more than Peridot to be honest, but thanks to you, we're basically inseparable."

"Aw shucks Lapis, was nothing." Steven blushed, just as the communication console nearby began to light up. "Hang on, I think this one's for me."

When Steven turned it on, a particular Gem who he barely got to know greeted him. "Oh hey, you're that Zircon from my trial! How are things?"

"Going pretty good." The defense Zircon answered. "Ever since the other Zircon and I were unbubbled at the start of Era 3, we've left our lawyer days behind in favor of politics. With the Diamonds essentially no longer in power, Homeworld had decided to turn to democracy when the caste system was dissolved."

"It's nice to hear some more good news," Lapis interjected. "but why did you call us?"

"Oh yes, that." Blue Zircon realized before she conjured up a hologram with her monocle. "Rumor has it that despite the caste system's end, there are at least two Gems who continue to terraform regardless of the end of colonization. Last we heard, they were busy remodeling the former Blue Diamond colony Aozul 2."

"Wait, terraform?" Lapis said with surprise at the mention of her old duties. "Are they other Lapis Lazulis by any chance?"

"Yes, that is why I contacted you today." Blue Zircon continued explaining. "Why do you ask?"

"I think I might remember them from when I was a terraformer." Lapis revealed, before she turned to the Warp Pad. "That's why I'm coming with you, Steven."

"Alright then." Steven agreed. "Who knows? Maybe we can get them to come to Little Homeschool."

"I'm not too sure about that, Steven." Lapis nervously replied before they stepped on the Warp Pad and activated it, taking off for Aozul 2.

--

On the other Warp Pad that dropped Steven and Lapis off was Aozul 2, a gorgeous-looking moon orbiting a yellow planet thriving with unique wildlife. Though the pair was amazed by the nature around them, they still had a mission to do.

"Let's not get distracted, this may not take long." Steven said as he stepped off the Pad. "Most Gems come around pretty quickly when I invite them to Little Homeworld in person."

"What a beautiful place." Lapis muttered in awe, distracting her from the strange little native creature they almost stepped on. "Wait!"

Looking down, Steven and Lapis found a cute flower bud-like alien with its petals opened up. "Whoa, thanks for the save Lapis." Steven thanked his blue buddy before kneeling to pet the creature. "Hey, little buddy."

The creature closed its petals in fright and raced into a nearby bush, making more of its kind nervously emerge in front of Steven. "It's okay Flower Buddies." He chuckled at his name for the creatures as they began to crawl all over him, now no longer seeing the boy as a danger. "Haha, whoa now!"

"Wow, Steven, it took you all of five seconds to make a new friend. You must be getting rusty." Lapis commented as she approached the Flower Buddy resting in Steven's arms and began to pet it gently. "You know, I used to never notice creatures like this. Before arriving on Earth, I used to not think twice about terraforming, never taking a moment to appreciate what I was destroying." The Buddy smiled at Lapis and began to open its petals for her as well. "Life is so precious. And these guys remind me of Pumpkin in particular."

The other Buddies began to blossom, only to just as quickly close up their petals as the silhouette of a figure similar to Lapis zoomed over them.

"Uh, Steven?" Lapis brought her friend's attention to the figures flying around and conjuring up water to cause untold chaos upon Aozul 2.

After putting the Flower Buddy down, Steven made his way to the edge of a cliff to get a better look at the pair. From what he could gather, one of the Lapides had her gemstone on her stomach, darker colored skin and hair than the one he knew, the hair was done up in a ponytail, and had gold-colored freckles on her cheeks. The other Lapis had her gem on her shoulder, light azure skin, and medium-blue curly hair.

"So, the rumors were true." Steven wondered as the pair of Lapises continued their path of destruction, laughing all the way.

"You think that Zircon called us because they didn't get your message?" Lapis asked Steven while gazing upon the terraformers' progress.

"I'm sure they did." Steven replied assuredly. "Everyone did, but I'll try and get them to stop."

"This may be harder than you think." Lapis added as her fellow Lazulis flew closer to the pair, using their powers to cut a massive rock in half and terrifying the Flower Buddies.

"Hey, stop!" Steven called to the blue Gems, who reacted to their work's sudden intrusion by preparing to launch a massive tidal wave at the pair. Steven was ready however, and defended himself and Lapis with his shield.

"Wait, that's Steven Universe!" the ponytailed Lapis cried as she grabbed her partner's arm. "And is that who I think it is with him?"

"He's smaller than I thought." The curly-haired Lapis replied when she came to the same realization as her fellow Lazuli. "No way!"

"You guys!" Lapis squealed in delight, causing the other two to cheer happily as well. "Oh my gosh, it's been ages!" she yelled as the two Lapises raced down to hug her. "I haven't seen you two since I was sent down to Earth!"

"Wait, you all know each other?" Steven asked the three terraformers.

"Yeah, we go way back with ol' 3E8C-4XF here." The stomach gem Lapis remarked. "That's her facet and cut, by the way. I'm 2F8D-9ZE, and Curls here is 1J9G-5KL."

"Yeah, the three of us were an unstoppable terraforming trio back in the day." 1J9G-5KL snidely explained with a flip of her hair. "Tearing planets apart, taking names, and looking cool while doing it!"

"But then I was given a solo mission to Earth, which was how I got caught up in the Rebellion, and here we are." Lapis continued for her old friends.

"We're just so glad you're okay!" 2F8D-9ZE exclaimed happily. "So anyway, what do you think? We're just about almost done with this world. Exemplary work, no?"

"And we don't need the extra help." 1J9G-5KL said meanly. "So it was nice catching up, but please, ta-ta."

"Look, we came here because you gotta stop." Steven explained to the Lapides. "The Diamonds don't control you anymore. Didn't you get my message?"

"Yeah, we did." Freckles nodded.

"So, you don't have to terraform for them anymore." Steven continued. "You're free to do whatever you want now! In fact, we want to offer you the chance to come learn at Little Homescho-"

"Oh, so this is all some big misunderstanding?" Freckles interrupted Steven.

"This has got to be a joke." Curls rolled her eyes. "Like, terraforming is what we like to do, and now you're saying we shouldn't do it anymore?!"

"Oh, here we go." Lapis groaned. "1J9G was always pretty passionate about her work."

"You're getting it wrong." Steven tried to ease the tension. "You can do whatever you like! As long as nothing gets destroyed and nobody gets hurt."

"That's not what you said a sec ago!" Curls pointed out. Freckles tried to speak, but Curls shushed her by forcing her mouth shut with a finger. "Are you listening to yourself right now?"

"Why should we stop?" Freckles lowered Curls' finger to ask.

"Because it's wrong!" Lapis answered, becoming irritated with her former partners' behavior.

"Wait, wait, wait." Freckles said, gesturing to the destruction she and Curls caused. "How can what we were made to do suddenly be soo-oo taboo now? At least let us get back to work, we're almost done with Aozul 2 here!"

"Team huddle?" Steven nervously muttered to Lapis.

"Team huddle." Lapis replied, slowly retreating into the cobalt-leafed forest away from the other Lapides. "We'll be back with you in a bit, girlfriends."

--

"You're right. This is harder than usual." Steven said to Lapis as they hid in the bushes.

"You've gotta force them to stop." Lapis suggested while spying on her old friends from the foliage. "This is definitely gonna be a fight. They're not nice like what I became. 1J9G was always the alpha of our little trio, ordering us around and treating lower-ranked Gems like trash. 2F8D, on the other hand was more of the follower, as loyal to 1J9G as a Pearl is to their Diamond. I, on the other hand, was essentially the third wheel, mostly existing to follow along with them."

"So you guys were basically high school mean girls?" Steven compared Lapis's former situation to fiction. "Did any of you play the Gem version of croquet in your spare time, or wear pink on Wednesdays?"

"This is nothing like those movies, Steven." Lapis stated.

"Well maybe like those girls in the movies, they just don't know what they're doing isn't nice." Steven tried to assure his azure friend. "You get it, what made things click for you?"

"A cycle of horrible torture that I came close to repeating myself." Lapis gravely answered, much to Steven's fright. "But also like, living in nature and making meep morps."

"Yeah, that's it!" Steven cheered quietly. "Come on, we can do that for them."

"C'mon, not even a little torture?" Lapis asked while squeezing her hands together.

"No torture, just the other stuff." Steven decided against any lethal force before he and Lapis returned to the water Gems.

--

"Geez, what's taking those two so long?" the Mean Lapis asked impatiently while waiting for Steven and her fellow Lapis to return.

"I'm starting to get wet here." The Nice Lapis added, prompting her curly-haired buddy to turn to her with a raised eyebrow of disbelief. "I'm trying to make it a catchphrase. It depends on the context, in this case, I'm getting bored."

"Well, I urge you not to make that happen." 1J9G commanded, just as Steven and Lapis finally reemerged from the bushes, waving to them while walking backwards. "Oh, look who finally decided to come back."

"Okay, we've come to a decision." Steven declared. "Why don't we show you fun things you can do on Earth other than causing mass destruction?"

"Should we listen to him?" 1J9G asked 2F8D.

"He's only half-Diamond, so maybe we should half-listen to him." 2F8D suggested.

"I'll take that as a yes." Steven answered, trying to hide his eye twitching at being called a mere half-Diamond, before taking the two terraformers into the forest. "Let's go."

--

Once within the extraterrestrial woods, Steven began to show the Lapides around, trying to get them to appreciate the beauty of nature. "It's a beautiful day here. Fresh air, pretty trees, peaceful wildlife. Any life-changing epiphanies yet?"

"It's so bright." 2F8D observed as she gazed directly into the sun.

"No duh, Too-Eff." 1J9G rudely replied while poking on a leaf with a stick. "I only prefer two colors, rocks and mud. Right?"

"Well, I have to admit," 2F8D said as she continued looking at the sun. "that sun is a real pretty shade of-"

"I said, right 2F8D?" 1J9G cut her friend off.

"Uh yeah, rocks and mud!" 2F8D laughed nervously, her pupils rapidly darting around while holding her hands behind her back.

"I understand you don't see the beauty with this, but I know you will with time, girls." Lapis said. "There was a time where I didn't appreciate organic life as well, much like you guys. But I learned of how beautiful it can be. Maybe you can try something like this."

Gazing at the small puddle of mud in front of her, Lapis began to conjure up a strange shape from the wet dirt.

"This is what we call art, or in Lapis's terms, a meep morp." Steven demonstrated. "And it can be made out whatever you want to be, whether it be nature or just random junk you find lying around."

"So you can do whatever you want with your powers," 1J9G asked. "but you choose to make junk."

"It doesn't have to be like that." Lapis answered, continuing to toy with the mud. "You can make anything with a little imagination."

As an example, Lapis shifted the mud to take the form of a lawnchair for Steven to sit on, along with a drink and sunglasses. When Steven drank out of the mud-made cup, he immediately spat it out.

"So lifelike, I almost forgot!" Steven exclaimed in realization as the mud fell apart.

"That's it?" 1J9G muttered with a tilt of her head.

"It's more satisfying than you think it is." Lapis claimed. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

"But what can we make?" 2F8D asked, scratching her chin as she examined the wilderness around them.

"Didn't you listen, dummy?" 1J9G responded while conjuring up some water. "They said we could make anything!"

"Right, anything!" 2F8D said as the two turned the water into the shape of a ball. "I totally knew that."

"That's it!" Lapis cheered for her former friends. "Try making some other shapes, it can be anything you want!"

The Lapides listened as they made the water ball grow spikes before flattening it into a sawblade that they tossed in-between Steven & Lapis, cutting down a mountain behind them in two.

"Wow, you just made our jobs easier!" 1J9G cackled and pointed at the fallen rock behind the two Crystal Gems.

"We'll have this planet cleaned up in no time!" 2F8D agreed with a laugh.

"Steven, this isn't working." Lapis muttered fearfully, prompting Steven to try something else.

"Looks like you two still have some energy to let out." Steven laughed. "Maybe you should try something more physical, like dancing!"

"Dance?" 1J9G wondered while Steven pulled out his phone. "And what is that thing in your hand?"

"Just watch us." Steven stated as he turned on some funky music for he and Lapis to dance to on his phone, as another demonstration to the Lapides. Although 1J9G was unimpressed, she noticed 2F8D starting to get into the groove as she swayed her arms from side to side.

Steven and Lapis took this as a breakthrough and continued dancing to the music, but then their gems started to glow by complete accident. "WHOA!" they exclaimed in unison, stopping their dance to keep the glowing down.

"Almost fused there, Lapis." Steven chuckled.

"Yeah, wouldn't want a repeat of Peridot." Lapis replied.

"Uh, who's Peridot?" 1J9G asked while ordering 2F8D to stop dancing with a mean look.

"Only Lapis's best friend!" Steven exclaimed with a hand on his Lapis's shoulder.

"Yeah, you can meet all types of people on Earth, humans and Gems." Lapis said. "Peridot and I got off on the wrong foot because when we first met, I was basically her hostage in an invasion of Earth." She continued explaining. "But over time, we grew closer thanks to Steven's influence and even had our own home in this little barn, but then due to circumstances I'd rather not get into at the moment, we just kinda drifted apart for a bit. We did eventually get back together, but when Little Homeschool first started, we unfortunately didn't have as much time to enjoy our shared inter-"

Before Lapis could finish, the other Lapises started laughing. "Really, you and a low-class Gem like a Peridot?!" 1J9G guffawed, forcing the primary Lapis to scowl at the pair.

"What's next, an Aquamarine fusing with a Ruby?!" 2F8D let out a loud wheeze.

"Funny story, actually." Steven began, but 1J9G cut him off.

"Look, we don't wanna hear anymore, kid." The Lapis snarked. "We know you want to do what's best for everyone or some stupid stuff like that, but we decided on what's best for us, and that's terraforming." She stated. "Now, please, run along back to your little school before you make me slap your face off."

"Geez, Jay-Nine, no need to threaten him like that." 2F8D tried to convince her pal otherwise.

"He's threatening our way of life, you clod!" 1J9G yelled at 2F8D, who reflexively knelt and cowered. "If you think a little kid like him is right, then why don't you come with them?"

"Gee, 2F8D has real bad taste in friends." Steven whispered to Lapis.

"It's like I said, One-Jay really liked to order us around." Lapis replied. "She also really doesn't like it whenever what she says gets questioned."

"Now, if you'll excuse us 3E8C," 1J9G finally said while turning away from her belligerent friend. "we're gonna go back to work, so no more interruptions."

"Y-yeah, let's get back to it!" 2F8D meekly added.

Ironically, the pair was stopped from flying away when Lapis finally spoke up. "I get it." She said to her old friends. "All this won't make you feel good right away, maybe not even at all. You guys are just afraid of change after thousands of years doing one thing, but they can help you navigates new ways of feeling. If you aren't into dancing, maybe singing would be more your speed."

Lapis prepared to demonstrate, but then she started hesitating for a bit. But thanks to some encouragement from Steven, she worked up the bravery and finally started to sing. "Oooo-ooo-oooh, why so bluuuu-uuuu-uuue? So many shades of sorrow got mixed into my hue." Lapis began. "And each new moment just astounds me, so much I wanna do. I finally feel my colors shining through."

The other Lapides began following their former friend as she gazed into her reflection in a puddle. "I'm tired of the fighting, I'm tired of the blame." Lapis continued as she reminisced on her struggles. "That mirror was a prison, and fusion was the same. What's with these new sensations that suddenly appear?! Deep as the roaring ocean, free as the atmosphere!"

Racing away from the puddle, Lapis excitedly pushed back some leaves to show her ex-partners more of Aozul 2's beauty as her song reached its high point. "Oooo-ooo-oooh, why so bluuuu-uuuu-uuue? So many different reasons, but are they really true?" Lapis began to finish as she knelt to watch the Flower Buddies surrounding her. "I wanna keep on going, wanna be right here with you. I'd love to see your colors shining throoooo-ooough." The Buddy that made its territory in Lapis's lap then blossomed for her. "I'd love to see your colors shining through."

Despite what Steven and Lapis believed the song would do, 1J9G laughed mockingly at her, and 2F8D was ordered to do the same with a poke to the elbow. "You really expect us to dance and sing like we're Pearls?!" 1J9G said derisively. "Look, Steven Universe, you already got 3E8C doing it for you! I mean, did you make her like this, or was she this much of a loser?!"

"You never bothered to ask what I liked back in the day!" Lapis angrily said before her curly-bobbed ex-friend grabbed her by the shirt collar.

"Listen 3E8C," 1J9G commanded Lapis just as angrily. "you and that so-called Diamond are going to leave this planet so we can get back to doing what we want to do, not be reconditioned into following everything you say with a dumb song! End, of, discussion."

"You don't have to be so cruel!" Steven yelled at 1J9G. "And you don't have to be such a horrible friend ei-"

"Did I stutter?" 1J9G continued as she glared daggers at Steven before turning away from him. "Come on 2F8D, let's get back to work."

"Yeah, see ya." 2F8D replied and said farewell to Steven before they flew off. "It was wet seeing you again 3E8C!"

"CONTEXT!" 1J9G yelled.

Steven was just about ready to give up, but Lapis just started angrily as her fellow Lapides got back to terraforming. "That's it!" she declared. "I've had enough of you two!"

"But, you promised we wouldn't fight!" a worried Steven reminded Lapis.

"If we had done this my way, we could've gotten this done way earlier!" Lapis replied before she flew up to her former friends. "Hey girls, that's enough!"

"Oh, look who it is." 1J9G grinned sneakily.

"You finally come to give us a hand?" 2F8D asked.

"You could say that." Lapis smiled before she spawned a pair of water hands from below, and used them to flick 1J9G and 2F8D away.

"Did she just do that?" 2F8D said, recoiling from the attack.

"Yeah, she did." 1J9G replied as she got an idea. "So, you can make hands, huh?" she said as she and her beleaguered partner formed a water hand of their own. "Okay if we try?"

The giant hand slapped Lapis away towards Steven, who summoned his shield to catch her and protect himself from the water. "Lapis," Steven cried. "are you okay?"

"I'm okay, just stay out of this!" Lapis demanded Steven before she flew back up and sprouted another pair of water wings that she turned into fists. "DORARARARARARARARARARARARA!" She yelled while unleashing her fury on 1J9G. "DORA!"

1J9G was thrust out of the sky and almost crashed onto the ground, until 2F8D caught her with a water hand.

"You alright?" 2F8D said sympathetically.

"I'm fine, you big baby." 1J9G growled and rubbed her head just as Lapis tried to restrain the two with chains made of water, but were nimbly dodged. "Water chains?"

"You really need to stop teaching us these wet new things!" 2F8D giggled, invoking another angry glare from 1J9G, before they created chains of their own to restrain Lapis and pin her to the cliff face.

"Lapis!" Steven cried for his Beach Summer Fun Buddy.

"We really gotta hand it to you." 2F8D said. "This new stuff you're showing us isn't actually useless."

Once again, the Lapides created a sawblade. But this time, instead of chopping a mountain in two, they had darker intentions for it. The blade was tossed straight at the seemingly powerless Lapis, and Steven couldn't help but watch.

"OH NO!" Steven yelled. But suddenly, the saw stopped right in front of Lapis's face and was reduced back into droplets as the earth shook around everyone. Water from all around began to surround her, washing over the other terraformers along the way as Lapis formed a massive watery figure wielding a harpoon around her.

"WHO'S DULL NOW?!" Lapis boomed, terrifying 2F8D into hugging 1J9G for protection while Lapis prepared to land the killing blow. "WHO'S PITIFUL NOW?!"

However, when Lapis turned to Steven with a sadistic grin, his disappointed expression made her realize what she's become. After the water figure fell apart, Lapis returned to the cliff's edge in exhaustion.

"You okay?" Steven asked while having one of the Flower Buddies in his arms.

"I'm fine." Lapis answered as the Buddy jumped into her embrace. "Sorry about losing control there."

As the water receded, the Lapides sat there stunned as Steven and Lapis flew down to face them.

"It's over now." Lapis declared to her ex-friends. "No more fighting. Okay?"

"Fine by me." 1J9G said with a smirk.

"Yeah, that was so wet back there!" 2F8D smiled earnestly, with Lapis giving her a confused stare this time.

"And no more terraforming too. Promise?" Lapis suggested.

"Oh, we'll do anything you say now!" 2F8D exclaimed cheerfully.

"After that ridiculous show of strength, we're at your command!" 1J9G added.

"No, that wasn't strength!" Lapis said hotly. "That was weakness! Patience takes strength; restraint takes strength!" Before Lapis could finish, she just decided to stop and walked away. "And I don't have the strength to deal with you anymore."

Before he could follow Lapis, Steven fished some brochures from his jacket pocket that he handed to the Lapides. "Here, have some Little Homeschool brochures. In case you change your mind." He offered before walking off after her.

--

After Steven and Lapis left Aozul 2, 1J9G and 2F8D sat on a rock reading through the brochures Steven gave them. While 2F8D was growing interested in the opportunities Little Homeschool had for her, 1J9G wasn't amused.

"So what, it's not just dancing and singing like Pearls?" 1J9G complained. "We have to do all this other junk too? This totally goes against what we were made for!"

"Yeah, but as Steven said, we can do whatever we want now!" 2F8D exclaimed as she pointed at some of the activities. "Like, gardening, for example! Isn't that wet?"

"Stop trying to make 'wet' happen!" 1J9G yelled. "It's never going to happen!"

After having her attempts at a catchphrase ruined, 2F8D clenched her fist and worked up some courage to tell her so-called friend the truth. "Hey, Little Homeschool also gives us opportunities to make new friends outside of our old castes. And I mean actual friends, not Gems who relentlessly pick on you for the stupidest of things."

"Is this about our bond?" 1J9G growled. "I'm totally your friend! I just have a different way of expressing it!"

"Yeah, well, Steven treats 3E8C with some level of respect and kindness!" 2F8D argued back. "You ever heard of either of those terms before?"

"This isn't funny Two-Eff." 1J9G growled. "We are not going to that stupid school. And you will stick with me, no matter what! End. Of. Discussion!"

However, 1J9G realized a bit too late that 2F8D had already left her, and was already racing to the Warp Pad with one of the Flower Buddies under her arm.

"Sorry One-Jay, but I'm going off to learn how to be nice to people!" 2F8D said rapidly before the Warp Pad took her away from Aozul 2. "OKAY, BYYYYYEEE!"

And so, 1J9G was left utterly alone on the blue-colored moon. Alone and positively furious. As she began angrily chopping down trees with her powers, a black dropship slowly dropped into Aozul's atmosphere.

--

Night fell by the time Steven and Lapis finally returned to Little Homeschool. Still guilty for giving in to her anger, Lapis sat forlornly on the Warp Pad, only for Steven to seat himself next to her.

"I wish I hadn't done that." Lapis moaned. "They just reminded me so much of myself, and how I acted in the past. All high and mighty with no regard for anyone but myself."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up." Steven gave his blue friend a comforting smile. "You've grown a lot since I first broke you out of that mirror, but everything takes time. It's not your fault those two are still stuck in their ways."

As Lapis smiled back, the Warp Pad activated once again. This time, 2F8D stood behind them, and a Flower Buddy peeked from behind her. "Hey, is this that school you were talking about?" 2F8D asked sheepishly. "One-Jay and I had a disagreement, so now I want to learn what real friends are like."

The Flower Buddy stepped up from behind 2F8D and nuzzled itself on Lapis's leg. "I also brought this little guy along as a way of saying sorry." 2F8D continued. "Hope you like him."

"I love him." Lapis said as she picked the Buddy up. "Thanks Zuli."

"Zuli?" the Lapis now known as Zuli asked.

"Yeah, 2F8D might be hard to remember." Lapis explained. "Just came up with that nickname off the top of my head. You like it?"

"I love it!" Zuli cheered. "So, when can I start school?"

"Doesn't matter." Steven answered.

"Yeah, welcome to Earth." Lapis responded.

--

Back on Aozul 2, 1J9G continued terraforming the little moon to vent her stress, leaving a trail of fallen trees and small dirt canyons in her wake.

"I can't believe that freckled clod just ditched me like that!" 1J9G shrieked furiously. "She just fell for that kid's games, and then ran off!" Amid her ranting, the curly-haired Lapis began to cry. "Is this how he gets his sick kicks, just tearing apart friendships like that?! I'm gonna make him pay for stealing my friends when I find him again!"

Just then, some of the trees 1J9G didn't chop down started rustling, frightening her. "Who's there?" she began panicking. "Did you realize you made a huge mistake and come crawling back to me?"

However, 1J9G realized she wasn't talking to 2F8D. Instead, a large, grey hand with a white topaz on the back emerged from the foliage, and reached out for her.

--

Ominous, isn't it?! This was real great to write, especially since as mentioned above, Why so Blue is my favorite episode of Future. Hope you liked how I expanded on the Lapises and their backstory, and are excited for what I got next. Because on the next chapter of Steven Universe: Alternate Future, we aren't moving onto Little Graduation, that's the start of Part 2. Instead, we get onto cut content territory with Rhodonite's backstory at last. In the meantime, I'd really like this series to get mentioned on TV Tropes like my other written works.

[ollifree]

1. What are things they both find funny?

Pet antics. They share a morbid sense of humor about the plague that anyone else who lived in Vesuvia at the time would find abhorrent. They have different limits on it and know where each other’s is.

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?

You’re gonna limit Lucio to one sentence? Lucio? He’s gotta talk about how smart Skylar is, how good he looks, his talent in magic, his thoughtfulness. Lucio’s favorite words for Skylar are, in order, “Pretty, precious, perfect.”

I’m taking Skylar’s from a prompt from last year.

“Should I start with his eccentricities or…? He’s loud, brash. More cunning than people give him credit for. He’ll have an absolute meltdown if he can’t get his makeup right and have himself convinced two seconds later he always gets it perfect. He wears white because he’s always covered in dog hair. He makes sure everyone knows what his opinion on something is, and will do everything within his power to fix something he deems wrong.”

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say?

Lucio makes a point of complimenting however Skylar looks, but it’s a rare day Lucio doesn’t praise Skylar’s intellect and dedication to his work.

Skylar’s go-to descriptor for Lucio is “handsome”. His favorite (non-extensive) list of things to compliment Lucio on are: how hard he tries, how brave he is, his confidence, how passionate he is when it comes to the things he cares about.

They each compliment each other’s ass at least ten times per day.

4. What would be their ship name?

Either "grind against your bones until our marrows mix", or "the awful edges where you end and i begin", both of which are lyrics from Ludo's The Horror of Our Love.

5. What activities do they enjoy together?

Favorite activities are lounging on each other, doting on the pets, and people watching. Skylar gets coaxed into doing magic (however mundane) so Lucio can compliment him. In modern verse they binge watch bad reality tv. Lucio will put up with being outside when it snows only because Skylar likes outdoor winter activities and only because Lucio knows he’s gonna get some hardcore snuggle time at the end of it.

6. What is/are their love language(s)?

Lucio’s are gift giving (showing) and words of affirmation (receiving). Skylar’s is quality time. Physical touch is mandatory for both of them.

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

This question is arophobic.

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

I’m always down for some self-fic plugging [link].

Skylar couldn’t have had a better introduction to Lucio: Julian had brought Skylar to Vesuvia for the menagerie, and Skylar and Lucio immediately clicked over their shared love of animals. Lucio truly has a unique personality and Skylar was excited to meet a new kind of person. Add on Julian’s endorsement of the Count and it’s no small wonder Skylar wound up staying in Vesuvia long past when he would have left anywhere else.

9. Have they made each other cry?

Yes. Mostly via mutual vulnerability and happiness. Then the plague happened.

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

This is a direct call out for me not writing my fic yet.

11. What causes them to fight?

Lucio’s Lucio-isms getting out of hand, or Salsa destroying something of Lucio’s. He can’t get mad at his fur babies so Skylar gets to take the brunt of it. Their biggest arguments happened over the coliseum and how to deal with the outbreak of the plague.

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

Before Lucio’s death Skylar didn’t invest himself enough in Vesuvian politics to give a concrete answer in that area. Insofar as Lucio’s views of being in a position of power? Yes they absolutely have different opinions.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

I was originally going to say “nothing”, then I remembered Lucio has one. So Skylar’s currently sitting at a “nothing” with an asterisk of “unless I remember something”.

Lucio’s is being around Skylar when Skylar’s sick. Lucio has a phobia of catching whatever’s going around after the plague and has to nope out of situations where he’s around illness. That being said he is hyper aware of Skylar’s health, as after leaving Vesuvia Skylar becomes more prone to colds and flues.

14. What would be a dealbreaker?

Skylar's dealbreaker almost happened, which is someone's wants getting in the way of / actively opposing another's needs. Lucio's would be unfaithfulness.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Nothing they outright dislike, but they do recognize the faults the other perceives in themselves and help them improve in that regard. For Skylar it’s his non-confrontational nature getting his needs and wants ignored. For Lucio it’s empathizing with others and taking responsibility for, and dealing with, the consequences of his actions.

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?

How dare you.

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

Never in anyone’s life would Lucio have expected to get an attachment to the smell of books yet here he is. The same goes for hot chocolate. Skylar walks into the makeup department and it’s just like walking past Lucio’s collection.

18. What would be their love motto?

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

This isn’t in the marriage vows because they have the awareness to go “if we say half the things we feel in front of anybody, concerns we are not equipped to address in an acceptable way will be raised.” After the ceremony, when they’re on their own, this exchange happens:

Lucio: “Love me. Until we’ve been dead so long our bones are dust.” Skylar: “Not good enough. It’ll have to be until the world is ash.”

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

Similar ones to what’s above. Trauma-induced codependency reinforced by magic ritual body trading meta sure is something.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

For the better: by helping one another with the issues listed in question fifteen. For the worse: they gain a lot of codependence for stated meta reasons, along with a very deep-seated fear of losing each other again.

In the end they do leave Vesuvia. Ultimately they are going the route of “this is a very important lesson we’ve learned about responsibility and the consequences of our actions. Now let’s get the fuck out of the city we’re responsible for and one of us nearly ruined with his actions.” They acknowledge the hypocrisy of this, and while in the end they’re better off outside Vesuvia it is there.

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love?

Because I’m a sucker for them the answer’s yes. They only hit the love stage to begin with because Lucio was able to put the work into unlearning and breaking the cycle of the worst parts of his tribe’s culture. I will say though that Lucio staying with the tribe would make it vastly more difficult for them to meet. Skylar still does his traveling, as his parents didn’t have any major expectations beyond “well-functioning adult” when raising him, but considering how infamous the warring tribes of the south are I don’t see travel into the steppes being easy or recommended.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

I honestly may come back to these but 300 words is a lot for my amount of spoons rn.

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

“Skylar has never done anything wrong in his life.” - Lucio Arcanagame

Salsa’s definitely destroyed a few things Lucio’s particular towards, and as it’s impossible for Lucio to be mad at any of his fur babies Skylar gets the brunt of it.

Along with Lucio getting snippy with him for Salsa mauling his good shirts, Skylar’s had to forgive Lucio for a lot. Mostly it’s Lucio-isms that make things get blown out of proportion. Then there’s the Coliseum. And Lucio’s deals. And the plague.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

“Want to have sex?” / “Yes.”

If all else fails, Lucio knows he can get Skylar out of a book and back to real life by smoochin’ behind Skylar’s ears.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

Sex is a cathartic extension of their shared love language, physical affection. The orgasms are an added bonus.

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

All of them. Like I say it as a joke but it’s just easier writing-wise to have them on the same level. Realistically it’s like 80-90%. Both of them want to please their partner and have a good time doing so. Their communication on that front is solid.

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

This question is acephobic.

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves?

“Want to have sex?” / “Yes.”

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

What up I’m Olli I’m almost 27 and I still haven’t learned how to write porn.

Lucio:

“Does puppy want me to fill him up?” “So precious…” “Look. Look at what I’m doing to you.” “Beg for it.” “Not yet. You piss when I tell you to.” “Do you like the taste of your cum that much?” “Good boy.”

Skylar:

“How you feeling, handsome?” “Are you ready to behave?” “What a mess you are.” “Fuck me so full I can’t move.” “You want to be good, don’t you?” “Master.” “Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck me, fuck me.”

31. What do they love to do after sex?

Shared baths.

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?

Why are we limiting when the sex happens? The time of day doesn’t affect their enjoyment of it. They’re exhibitionists with impunity there is literally no limit on when the sex can happen.

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 7  Escape From the Bulb Creeps

Journey to the Past

We are fresh on the heels of the deaths of both Lapin and Peppermint Preston (Reeces in Pieces) but there’s no time to mourn because the remaining 5 PCs (Zac is absent all episode) are all fugitives of both church and state. With everyone stunned and out of sorts, Jet takes the lead and begins running towards the alleyway she banished Thad to several episodes ago on a goof turned escape plan. And none of the adults have a better plan so they follow her without argument or question. Ruby sends Yak up to help scout and, as they’re running, each of the group have flashbacks to simpler times:

Ruby: Ruby sees herself practicing acrobatics on the castle walls having just seen the Swirler Sisters perform. Her mom makes her come down and scolds her for not taking her princess duties seriously. Royal life is hard enough without her making it harder with her flights of fancy and she should be training to be ready for it.

Amethar: Amethar sees himself at the Stone Candy Mountain mid-war with his four sisters who have just got the news that he married Katherine Ghee--his dairy wife we learned about 2 eps ago. His oldest sister--General Rococoa--is livid about the shortsightedness and political implications of him marrying a commoner. St. Citrina, the third sister, comforts Amethar and says that if he really loves her, the marriage should stand. The youngest sister, Princess Sapphria, is chill about the whole thing and thinks (1) it won’t matter since he’s so far down in the line of succession and (2) he should have a good time if he wants to. Something ~crazy~ would have to happen for Amethar to ever get the throne so it would be *stupid* to waste time worrying about. (Thousand yard stare.) Lazuli shows up and is very fuzzy on where in the timeline they are--showing her background as a divination wizard--before congratulating Amethar on his marriage. Rococoa wants the marriage annulled and Citrina says that, for that to happen, Amethar and Katherine would need to be in the same place with the priest who performed the ceremony--Father Belford. They can take care of it after the war if Amethar wants. In the meantime, they tell their dad *nothing*.

Liam: It’s Liam’s 14th b-day and he’s still living with his dad (Joren Jawbreaker) and his mom (Spearia Mentha--a cool Vegetanian hippie woman) and his 35 other moms and dads (polygamy is big in the Sweetening Path apparently). His dad shows up and has trouble remembering his name but does present him Preston as a pet which he’s pretty stoked about. Afterwards, he meets up with his mom who says that his entire extended family talked about his going to Castle Candy as a ward/political prisoner and have decided that he can, but that he should be careful. The outside world isn’t as accepting of other spirits and ideas. Back in the present, Liam feels something dark inside him grow with the loss of Preston. Ice creeps up on his crossbow and his magic changes (mechanically speaking, he has gone from a Beastmaster to a Gloomstalker Ranger).

Theo: It’s Theo’s first day on the job as Lazuli’s ward and, after getting some business done (including a short conversation with a cotton candy monk who seemed suspiciously fleshed out to just be a random NPC) she turns to him and asks his opinion on non-sanctioned magic. Theo (who insists on addressing her by all of her titles) says that magic has never been his thing. He doesn’t have the mind for it. Lazuli takes issue with that assertion and Theo is forced to consider that he might be limiting himself for no reason. Lazuli says that she’s realizing that magic is a lot bigger and unknowable than conventional wisdom suggests and then Theo runs off to fetch her more parchment.    

Jet: Jet is 14 and practicing fencing with Calroy. He gets the point with a fencing dagger (which is apparently a thing, confirmed by my one friend who fences) before they ease into a conversation about politics. Calroy asks her if she sees herself challenging convention and we all know Who Jet Is As a Person so her answer (big yes) isn’t surprising. What’s slightly more surprising is that Calroy candidly agrees with her that change is good and needed. A lot of people would love change but most of them aren’t situated in such a way that they have the power to bring about any. Calroy says he looks forward to her reign and they continue sparring. 

Back to Reality 

In the present, church bells toll behind them and Ruby feels a piece of paper fly out from her pocket--it’s the “For Candia” note from Lapin. She grabs it with her Mage Hand and just feels like the worst person on the planet for being mean to Lapin all these years and then watching him give his life for them. He presented as boring and lame but he was a good man. 

They all reach the delirious Thad (he’s been in this alley since episode 3) who Jet flirts with to try and get his carriage but Liam circumvents that by getting a Nat 20 to fully knock the dude out. The servants with him flip out but Jet threatens them into running away and, before they can get very far, Ruby casts Sleep on them which drops them. Then, she casts Disguise Self and Prestidigitation so she looks and smells like Thad (we’re also blessed by Siobhan’s ridiculous French accent) and goes out to Thad’s carriage with Jet on her arm, lying to the servants there that Jet has been knocked up and they have to have a shotgun wedding. Her deception check succeeds and the footman declares, “To the cathedral!” NO. Beach wedding! It’s a beach wedding! They all pile into the back of the carriage--Ruby up front since she’s pretending to be Thad--and head out.

While they ride, Liam unsuccessfully tries to cry quietly and Theo eulogizes Lapin and says that what happened to him was no one’s fault. Jet asks Amethar if he had a death wish back in the Cathedral and Amethar, not in so many words, admits that he did. Yak comes back down from scouting and relays that the Glucian Road (the way back to Candia that they came) is about to be absolutely crawling with imperial soldiers. And cutting through Fructerra to the north (the shortest route) is also bad because that’s Plumbeline’s territory and she’s already proven herself untrustworthy. That leaves the “safest” options Brightgarden (basically the Vatican City of this world so not really a place they wanna be right now) and towards the Harbor. 

Everyone takes another minute to have a full breakdown--especially Liam who is coming to terms with the fact that he’s gonna have to be a war guy now--and Brennan rolls death saves for Thad (he lives) before they get back to business. If they want to go to the Great Stone Candy Mountain (Where Joren Jawbreaker is), going by sea is faster. Ruby points out that they’ll have to go into the territory of Cordeau (aka, Lord Bleu--the suspicious cheese dude Primsy is lowkey courting) if they go by sea but Theo points out that they’re F’d no matter where they go so they lock in the plan. 

A Fun Boat Ride

Once they get to the docks, Brennan points out that none of them have sailing proficiency (Emily: I have tarot cards) so if they just grab a ship with no crew, they’re for sure gonna die. They’d previously asked Calroy to ready a ship for them but they have no idea if that happened and they don’t have a way to ask him. The only ship they recognize in the harbor is The Colby--Annabelle’s ship. And, what do you know? She’s on the ship at that very moment, officiating a wedding for Primsy and Lord Bleu. The dude works fast.      

Theo sees that they’re casting off soon and also that Morris Brie is walking around all agitated and worried--looking for Manta Ray Jack they guess. Liam casts Pass Without Trace and Amethar gets a Nat 20 to open one of the cargo crates they’re going to load onto the ship so they can hide inside (leaving Yak and Sprinkle outside to be their eyes). While they’re in there, they hear Primsy and Bleu talking and learn that he’s gonna be following behind in his own ship (since he’s captain) and they’ll meet back in Lacramor. We also learn later that his ship is called the Dairy Heir because Brennan was put on this earth to test me.

Ruby hears that Morris Brie is still walking around all worried and decides to Message him in Lacra. “Manta Ray is Captured. The House of Rocks has Fallen. All is Lost. Help.” She calls herself a friend and, on a 20 Persuasion, Brie thinks she’s a spirit. She tells him where Jack is and calls him a good man when he agrees to check.

Brennan rolls for an unspecified thing in front of the board--saying they need an 11 or higher and want a 15--and gets a 12. 

The ship is held for a while, long enough that they’re loaded into the cargo hold, and Brennan narrates everything that happens from the eyes of Yak and Sprinkle (bending the rules a bit so everyone gets the benefit of knowing how Ruby’s clutch move played out):

Annabelle is agitated, waiting for Brie and Manta Ray so they can ship off. A messenger comes to her with the information that the Emperor is dead, Candia is at war with the Concord, and Amethar has been excommunicated. Primsy, who is technically in charge, reacts exactly how any sane 16 y/o would--she has absolutely no idea what to do. Another messenger shows up with a bloody letter (and, sidenote, I need Brennan to stop cursing us with detailed info on how various food people bleed. It’s extremely unsettling) from Brie which she reads and before deciding to ship off immediately. 

The Candians decide to stay hidden for an hour which is good because 30 mins later, the ship is stopped and boarded by imperials (lead by Grissini). They check the barrels but not the crates because no one would be able to open them. Well, no one except Amethar on a Nat 20. They’re not found and the imperials leave.

After the hour is up, Ruby can see through Yak that there aren’t any ships except for the dairy ones escorting Primsy back home and there are only about 12 people on the Colby. There’s a long discussion about the best strategy--Should they go up or call someone down? Should they talk to Primsy or Annabelle? Should Jet volunteer as a hostage?--before Ruby makes an executive decision and decides to Message Primsy.

“Primsy, I invoke the friendship of House Rocks and House Lacra.”

On a 20 persuasion check, Primsy, like Brie, thinks she’s a fairy or a spirit, which she is childishly excited about. Ruby says that if she comes to the hold, she’ll show her a secret and Primsy, who has apparently never seen a horror movie before in her life, comes right down. To her credit, she does ask if she can bring Annabelle, but Ruby says no. But that doesn’t deter her. Once she’s down there, Theo, who also has the Message cantrip, says, “Don’t scream, no matter what you see,” which is absolutely the worst thing he could have said and, on a 3 Persuasion--plus Amethar bursting out of the crate to try to show her she’s among friends, Primsy has the correct reaction which is to scream bloody murder, calling down basically everyone, including Annabelle.

Everyone throws down their weapons (Jet just stows hers in her back pockets) and Liam tries to hide but gets a Nat 1. Annabelle is, of course, furious that they’d stow away while fugitives, endangering them all but Ruby is able to slightly charm her (non-magically) and she reveals that the letter she received before says that Brie rescued Manta Ray and they’re hiding in Comida. Ruby is relieved her plan worked and, when Annabelle scoffs at her for taking credit for the work of the spirits, hits her with a Message to prove her abilities. Annabelle seems taken aback that, even while wanted fugitives of basically the entire world, Ruby would take any of her precious time to help Manta Ray. “[He’s] a good man,” Ruby responds, as if the decision took no thought at all. Primsy comforts Liam as he breaks down over the loss of Lapin and Preston again.

Brennan has everyone do a group persuasion check where only one of them cracks a 15. Annabelle and Co. are really in a terrible position here. These are their allies but they’re also being hunted right now and the Dairy Islands really cannot afford to be at war with the Concord. Helping them would be tantamount to a declaration of war. “Please don’t make us make you,” Ruby says. Annabelle scoffs that even if they kill her, either her crew would kill them or they’d kill the crew then die at sea. Ruby apologizes for the empty threat and says she’s just scared. 

Annabelle decides that they can’t help them but they also don’t have to fight them. They’ll take them to Lacramor as prisoners and then assemble a council to figure out what to do with them. In the meantime, they’ll be clothed and fed and brought to a room without chains. The Candians, who don’t really have a ton of options here, agree. 

Sacre Bleu

Soon after they’re situated (they get a short rest here), Primsy invites them to the Captain’s Quarters (which she shares with Annabelle) for tea. She doesn’t allow herself to say anything that would jeopardize her country’s position, but she seems very much on their side and confident this will be sorted out once they land and the council discusses it. She’s also excited for them to meet Lord Bleu, which they’re...less enthused about.

Ruby tries to get it into her head that she’s a strong, independent woman who doesn’t have to just do whatever he says--or even what Annabelle says--but it seems that Bleu has gotten to her first because Primsy says that he tells her that too and that he’s right about everything. Theo asks if he has any enemies in his house and she says no, confused about why he would ask. Jet decides to fully let the cat out of the bag and says that someone from Bleu’s house attacked them. Primsy, with shockingly little genre savviness, says that there have been a lot of deaths in Bleu’s family to get him to the place in the line of succession that he is and that they did get a letter from Plumbeline saying that Amethar would probably be named successor but if not him then it would probably be her. And if anything happens to her, guess who’s suddenly in charge? None other than Lord Consort Cheddar, aka Bleu. Theo tries to tell Primsy to watch her back but, on a 2 Charisma check, he just pisses off yet another House Cheddar lady and Primsy leaves for the Crow’s Nest to catch a glimpse of her new husband on his ship. On a Nat 20, Jet stealths behind her to protect her.

Liam goes to find Annabelle to try and convince her to drop them off at the Candy Mountain instead of Lacramor. He starts well with a compliment (“Your haircut looks fresh”) before trying to pimp out his harem of parents in exchange for the ride and rolling a 4 Persuasion. Liam submits to the slap he knows is coming--but it misses due to Ruby’s Hex giving her disadvantage and making her take her Nat 1 instead of her Nat 20. As she stumbles forward, she notices something in the distance and walks off to check on it, Liam following behind her. 

Brennan has Murph make three mystery luck checks in the box of doom because he is the enemy and Murph rolls a 7, 16, and a 14. For Murph, pretty good!

They’re just about at the Yogurt Shoals (Bleu territory, you’ll remember) and they notice that all the other ships except for the two house Bleu ones have veered off in another direction. 

It starts to rain milk (Brennan seems to indicate that’s what the 7 roll was) and Annabelle yells at Primsy to come down from the crow’s nest. Primsy notices that the other ships are gone right as arrows start to fire from the Bleu ships to hers. Jet, at once, shields Primsy from the barrage. 

Annabelle tries to get them out of there in a hurry but finds the sails are damaged and the House Bleu ships sidle up along the Colby and pull a Ben-Hur, tearing up the sides of the ship until it begins to sink. Everyone roll initiative!

Also, it’s Zac’s Birthday. 

Happy Birthday Zac.    

Medal of Honor

Gotta give out our first double medal of honor this episode, fittingly, to the twins who were on fire this whole episode. 

At the top of the episode when no one else knew what to do, Jet took the reins and picked a plan and everyone else was swayed by her force of will and didn’t even ask any questions. And then later, when Theo fumbled his diplomacy, she again acted on impulse and put herself in the perfect position to protect Primsy.

And then Ruby--in the talkback, they said they were talking about “Ruby’s Big Day” which was great because so was I in my head. Taking her magic--the very thing that put her in so much danger--and turning it to their greatest asset with the clutch disguise and then using the hell out of the Message Cantrip? Lapin has been dead for less than a day and she’ll already taken the position of party Face.

Very Galaxy Brained moves from our girls this ep.

Sunny Side Up

The immediacy of the “Do you think she’s gonna get off?” response from Ally was like they’d been waiting their entire life to make that specific joke. 

Also on the topic of Ally just literally saying anything, watching everyone break as Liam described the game “Stairs” was an experience. And Brennan having to react to that as a parent and acknowledge it was full abuse gave me shades of Kristen talking about all the cult literature in her family’s house that Brennan was hearing about for the first time in that moment. 

The whole sequence in the alley with Thad was such a perfect moment of catharsis after the heaviness of everything else. That, “Point with my hand or?” Siobhan’s French accent. Liam hitting a Nat 20 to knock Thad TF out. Everyone coming up with plans on the spot on top of each other and the big, “NO!” after Brennan’s, “To the cathedral!” The rubberband needed to snap back to comedy for a bit after last week and all those flashbacks and they did it perfectly here.

Jet already having a “Bastard Jet” tattoo and Murph improvising that she made him do it with a cantrip.  

“Advantage for boldness and disadvantage for madness.”

Things I’m Concerned About

Short list this week because the answer is basically “everything”.

Brennan. Brennan, if anything happens to Primsy...I know that this is all pre-recorded and whatever happened already happened but if Primsy is hurt in any way...Brennan…

Very interesting that the Pontifex OK’d the wedding of Primsy and Bleu basically immediately while all manner of insanity was going on but couldn’t find the time to get the emperor paperwork filled out. And by interesting I mean she’s a snake. 

A big ocean battle after only a short rest? With no healer? Don’t care for that one bit. 

I would not want to be Katherine Ghee right now. Idk what she’s doing but if she’s alive and well, I have to assume her life is about to be filled with BS.

Liam’s rage (which he talked to Amethar about) seems like the kind of thing that becomes a problem either for poor decision making reasons or literal communing with evil spirits reasons. So I’m for sure monitoring that situation, just in case.  

Understandably, the gang wasn’t able to go for their allies this episode, but that puts them in a BAD position to put it mildly. If Calroy did ready that ship, it’s possible that at least some of the rest of the Candians will be able to get out once they hear the news. Fingers crossed for those guys but it would be a fittingly brutal story move if all the fun, tutorial level NPCs just get executed now that we’ve left the starting area (which already was pretty brutal to be sure). 

Five More Things

It took me saying the episode title out loud while writing this recap to understand that it was a Bloodkeep reference. I was like, what a weird thing to call an ep. It doesn’t fit the titling conventions for this show at all.

Loved getting to see Amethar with all his sisters, even with the ouchiness of knowing how that all panned out. I especially liked Citrina as a foil for the Pontifex. If the Bulb is nothing but raw power divorced from morality then it’s nice to see someone who has a connection to that power using it in the name of love.

Theo continuing to use everyone's titles even after all that happened is so true to character. Also: “Call me Bastard Jet.”/”As you wish, your highness.”

Zac’s character didn’t show up this ep so I’m very curious when it’s gonna happen. It could happen in the battle ep--some rando helping you mid life or death battle would give very wary people a reason to trust a stranger--but it seems more plausible it would happen next story ep. I wonder if that cotton candy monk mentioned is gonna be his next character. I wonder if it’s gonna be a candy person at all. 

Listening to Ruby and Theo talk about how mean they were to Lapin and how guilty they felt about it was A Lot. Like, we only had him for 6 episodes but they have an entire lifetime of history with the dude and Murph and Siobhan really made that hit home in their tiny moments. It was A Lot.

Also! This has nothing to do with Crown of Candy and it’s circulated a bunch already, deservedly so, but I wanna shout out this hilarious Fantasy High animatic by @morikorii. Super happy we’re starting to get kickass animatics for D20 stuff from crazy talented artists. 

[terapsina]

the ones that seek and find (six years in the relationship of harry and luna)

My first actual Harry/Luna fic for @lunaaaalovegreat who wanted me to write something for them. Here goes nothing.

summary: 

“You can go when we say you can go, Loony,” the biggest of the bullies says and pulls up her wand higher, now pointing it directly in the girl’s face. Harry doesn’t know the bully’s name but thinks she might be a third year.

A third year who looks about ready to cast a spell at an unarmed first year in a fight that’s three to one. He thinks he’s seen quite enough.

“Hey,” Harry yells to startle them and pulls out his own wand, “leave her alone!”

/or/

By chance of fate Harry Potter meets Luna Lovegood in his second year instead of his fifth. It doesn’t really change anything for the magical world at large but it changes quite a lot for the young witch and wizard themselves. Here are six glimpses into their relationship from the moment they meet until the end of the war.

--- ao3 ---

--- i. - Year 2, January ---

The wizarding world is vast and magical and filled with wonder. And at the end of the day, most of its fate comes down to chance. In this way, it is not at all unlike the muggle world.

Four little boys share a compartment on a train and spend the next seven years becoming the terrors of Hogwarts. Two decades later a mountain troll wanders into a girls’ bathroom instead of some abandoned classroom and so forges a lifetime long friendship between three first years.

And a year after that a twelve-year-old Harry Potter doesn’t feel like going back to the Gryffindor common room to be gawked at by the few people in even his own House who think he opened the Chamber of Secrets. Instead, he goes wandering around the castle, the soles of his feet skidding against the stone floor of the hallway and mind filled to the brim with flashes of resentment.

There’s tittering laughter of more than one person coming from around the corner from Harry and he stops in his tracks as soon as he hears it. There’s something a bit cruel about that sound, something colder than amusement. Something familiar.

Slowly he leans forward to get a glimpse of whatever is waiting for him, what meets him is the sight of a blonde first year with a blue tie, she’s being cornered against the wall of the hallway by what looks to be three of her own housemates. There are wands in their hands and mean looks on their faces.

Harry’s jaw clenches in reaction but for a moment he doesn’t yet know how to proceed.

And then the girl speaks in a voice so serene he almost thinks he’s misread the situation. “We’re gonna be late for Charms.”

He wavers in place, considering if he should just turn around and leave before they notice his presence. But no, he knows what those jeers mean and he knows what bullies look like.

“You can go when we say you can go, Loony.” The biggest of the bullies says and pulls up her wand higher, now pointing it directly in the girl’s face. Harry doesn’t know the bully’s name but thinks she might be a third-year.

A third-year who looks about ready to cast a spell at an unarmed first year in a fight that’s three to one. He thinks he’s seen quite enough.

“Hey,” Harry yells to startle them and pulls out his own wand, “leave her alone!”

“Mind your own-” The girl who had been about to cast starts saying and then almost jumps out of her skin alongside the other two bullies when they turn to see him, looks like the Ravenclaws believe he’s the Heir of Slytherin too. Great.

“I said,” he glares at them “leave her alone.”

For a moment they blink in mute shock, then they scatter like frightened rabbits with a fox on their tails, and despite how that was exactly what he wanted them to do something twists in his stomach. He hates that they’re afraid of him now like he’s actually responsible for releasing the monster that is petrifying other students.

He avoids looking at the girl left behind, almost afraid that the young witch he just tried to help will look just as frightened. But when he looks at her she’s just staring at him with a calm look, head tilted a bit sideways and blinking slowly.

“Hi. I’m Harry.” Harry says, suddenly a bit uncomfortable under that wide-eyed stare, so without knowing what else to say he stares back.

She has messy pale blonde hair falling across her shoulders and down her back, it doesn’t seem to have been combed today, - or possibly the day before that as well. There’s a necklace of tiny pine cones in a strange rainbow of colors hanging around her neck. And she’s staring at him through wide-open eyes, it would almost make her look surprised but the look in them is as serene and measured as it had been when she’d been facing the bullies a minute before. Finally, he notices her holding a stack of books to her chest, each of them seems to have some kind of flower stuck between the pages and hanging over the bindings. 

Harry’s not entirely sure what kind of an impression the picture she makes leaves on him but there’s something very loud and strange and interesting about it.

“I know.” She finally says after that extended pause and what were they... oh right, he’d introduced himself. “Everyone has been talking about you, they think you’re the Heir of Salazar Slytherin.”

“Oh.” He mutters, his mood souring again.

“But of course I know that you’re not.” She tells him absently like she hasn’t noticed his reaction at all, or like she has but knows not to focus on it. Harry can’t quite pin her down.

“You do?”

“Yes, it’s quite obvious, Salazar Slytherin was an elf and you’re not an elf, so you can’t possibly be his heir.” The girl says. “And I’m Luna by the way. Luna Lovegood.”

Harry stares at her, eyebrows furrowing. She might be the oddest person he’s met yet - well she would be if he didn’t know the headmaster, - but he’s still inexplicably relieved by her words. It’s nice to know someone outside of Gryffindor believes him too.

Even if that someone is making his head spin a little in confusion.

“What did they want with you anyway? The other girls.” 

“Oh, they’re just infested with Wrackspurts,” Luna tells him.

“Wrackspurts?”

“They’re magical creatures that float through the air and get into your head through your ears. They make one quite confused.” 

Harry’s not sure if he believes that, he thinks he’s right and they’re just bullies. But then again he doesn’t really know all that much about the magical creatures that are or are not real, so he doesn't think it would be right to dismiss them as fantasy either. After all, he hadn’t known about House Elves before he met Dobby either.

“You said you were late for class?” He says once he realizes he doesn’t know how else to respond.

“Yes but there’s a shortcut through there,” she says and points to a spot that looks like any other spot on the far left wall “I have a few minutes to spare.”

She is however starting to look a bit antsy, arms squeezing the books closer to her chest, so he guesses she really is going to be late and is just being polite now.

“I could come with you, make sure you don’t run into any more girls with... confused heads.” He offers.

“That’s very nice of you, Harry,” Luna says, smiles at him, and starts walking toward that wall, he belatedly notices that she’s also only wearing one shoe on her feet.

“What happened with your shoe?” he asks, a suspicion already very present in his head.

“Oh, the Wrackspurts hid it. It’s okay though, I’ll find it eventually, I always do.”

The Wrackspurts need a lesson in manners and Harry wonders if he can get Fred and George to help him give it.

Luna stops by the wall and before he has time to wonder if there really is a shortcut there Luna has leaned forward, hummed a quick tune he can’t quite identify and the wall is quickly transforming into a doorway.

He follows Luna all the way to Flitwick’s classroom as they chat about things Harry only halfway believes exist. But later after they’ve parted ways and he’s back in the Gryffindor tower being slaughtered in chess by Ron, he realizes it was the first time since he found Mrs. Norris hanging by her tail on that wall that he forgot about being Hogwarts’ pariah.

It was kinda nice, making a new friend. He wonders if tomorrow during breakfast he might find her for a quick chat in the Great Hall.

--- ii. - Year 3, November ---

It’s the evening after Harry finally fully managed to escape the Hospital Wing, and it’s been almost a week since the Quidditch game that ended up introducing his broom to the Whomping Willow but Harry still can’t stop mournfully staring at the broken remains of his Nimbus 2000.

It seems so stupid to feel like crying because of a broom but it was the first brand new thing that really belonged to him that he loved. It was his in a way that nothing else has ever been before. And now because of some Dementors, it’s nothing but kindling for the fire.

Not that he could ever bring himself to burn it - not that he’s allowed to anyway, the broom is interwoven with so many charms that setting it on fire would probably make it explode or something. He wishes he was just allowed to keep it at the bottom of his school trunk but apparently it counts as a safety hazard and the school needs to dispose of it safely.

So here he sits on the seating around the Quidditch pitch, the splinters on top of the blanket in front of him, with Ron and Hermione on his right and Luna on his left, waiting until he can bring himself to turn them in to Madam Hooch so she can do whatever it is they do with old and broken brooms.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Hermione tells him and reaches past Ron to pat him on his shoulder. 

He nods at her in thanks but can’t quite hide the pained grimace that follows it.

“Yeah Buddy, I’m really sorry.” Ron echoes her and gently bumps his side with his elbow.

“It’s okay,” Harry says past the Bezoar stuck in his throat and squares his shoulders to begin getting up, it’s just a broom, he should stop acting like it’s the end of the world.

“Hey, Harry?” Luna finally interrupts him for the first time since they sat down almost fifteen minutes ago, she’d been sitting quietly beside him the entire time, her elbows occasionally touching his own as one of them moved. He was just leaning forward to start wrapping the splinters back into the folds of the blanket but at her voice, he stops to look at her.

She’s got a thoughtful twist to her head like she’s considering an idea she’s been musing over.

“Yeah?”

“Can I take that piece of the handle?” She asks pointing at one of the larger remaining pieces of his Quidditch broom.

“Why?” He asks and is echoed by the voices of his two best friends asking the same question, each of them with a slightly different inflection. Ron sounds gobsmacked. Hermione, exasperated. And Harry just curious.

Luna doesn’t answer any of them, just keeps staring at him in that assuring and very calming way she has.

“Sure?” He finally tells her and passes her the splinter she had pointed to.

Luna takes it from his hand with a smile and jumps forward for a quick hug before skipping away. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stay in place, watching her leave back towards the castle.

“That girl is so strange,” Ron tells him, a flabbergasted look on his face.

“I know,” Harry says with a grin. That’s why he likes her.

“Ready, Harry?” Hermione asks after letting out a long sigh, Harry knows she doesn’t really know how to react to Luna, they’ve been friends with her for a year now and he knows that Hermione doesn’t dislike Luna, that for the most part, they get along okay, but that sometimes she kinda drives Hermione a little crazy.

And Harry’s never going to say it, he’s not stupid, but he sometimes thinks it’s good for Hermione to be left wrong-footed as her logic crashes against Luna’s irregularity. It pulls her out of her head when she gets so stuck in obsessing over her schoolwork that even Ron and Harry can’t quite manage to make her come up for air.

“As I’ll ever be.” He says, putting away his musings and finding himself suddenly better prepared for what he needs to do as the three of them finally head off towards the broom shed. 

---

It’s about two weeks later that Luna finds Harry in the library and drops in front of him a little red parcel decorated with doodles of lions and snitches he’s pretty sure Luna did herself.

“What’s that?” He asks, picking up his head from the books on the Patronus Charm he’s been going through on Professor Lupin’s suggestion.

“A holiday gift.”

“It’s not really Christmas yet?” He says but takes the package into his hands anyway.

“I know. But I finished making it and Daddy and I are going to be in the Norwegian Forests looking for Heliopaths this Christmas, and it seems rather cruel to make an owl fly that far with a package. So, happy early Christmas, Harry.” Luna says and sits down on the other side of the table from him.

He slowly unwraps the package, not wanting to tear up her little drawings, and feels something in his chest tightening and warming up unexpectedly as soon as he finds himself looking at a miniature carving of his Nimbus 2000. It’s even painted the same colors as his broken broom.

“Wait.” Harry flings up his head to look at Luna, realization dawning. “Is this why you wanted that piece of my broom?”

Luna nods seriously at him and looks directly back, face filled with honesty and voice as genuine as he’s ever heard it. “It’s really sad to need to throw away something you love. I thought you’d like to keep a part of it, even if it’s only a piece of woodcarving.”

“Thanks, Luna,” Harry tells her, eyes filling up with the sort of tears he’s almost not too embarrassed to shed.

--- iii. - Year 4, December ---

He leaves Cho in the Owlery, his face flushed with mortification and feeling like he’d like nothing better than for the earth to swallow him whole.

The pretty Quidditch player turning him down stings a bit, - alright, a lot - but that’s not really why he’s running away, he doesn't think. It’s just, well, he’d been trying to pick up enough courage to ask Cho to the Yule Ball for ages and now he doesn’t think he’ll be able to summon up any kind of will to ask anyone else. And as one of the Champions, he’s not allowed to go by himself, which honestly sounds like a lot more attractive option.

So once he’s back in the castle he titters in place, unable to decide where to go now. He could go find Ron so they can simmer in misery together but that won’t really save him from whatever Professor McGonagall will do to him if he doesn’t find a date for the first dance.

Which leaves him with a very narrow list of other options. Really it leaves him with only two.

And Hermione will definitely roll her eyes at him for waiting until the last minute instead of dealing with it months ago when the ball was first announced, so he decides his best bet is to head toward the Ravenclaw common room instead. He just hopes he’s fast enough not to accidentally run into Cho again.

“What can’t talk but will reply when spoken to?” The knocker asks once he’s walked all the way up the spiral staircase.

“Don’t know.” He says and ignoring the indignant squawk of the bronze eagle uses it to knock on the door.

After about half a minute the head of some upper-year Ravenclaw comes into Harry’s line of sight past the edge of the door, the boy rolls his eyes and vanishes just as quickly. Harry just sighs, used to it by now.

A minute or two later Luna comes out to meet him.

“Hey, Harry. What’s up?”

“I need your help, do you have a minute?”

“Sure, I was gonna go down to the lake to paint something in a bit anyway, we can go together if you want.” She offers.

The lake is all the way on the other side of the castle from the Owlery so he nods and waits as she goes back into the common room to grab her art supplies and a set of warmer robes. Once she’s back, her warm Ravenclaw scarf wrapped loosely around her neck and her fluffy Pygmy Puff earmuffs - a gift from Ginny for her last birthday - on her head, he follows her down the stairs. 

Harry breathes a sigh of relief once they’re outside and haven’t run into either Cho or Cedric, - who he at the moment doesn’t quite feel like seeing either, even though he does like Cedric.

They cast a pair of warming charms and he drops to sit beside her on the ground, there are a few minutes of comfortable silence while he watches her setting up her workstation. Not that it can really be called that, Luna likes to put all her paints around her in what looks like the randomest of orders while the canvas rests on top of her crossed legs.

He’s never quite been able to understand how she doesn’t get uncomfortable within five minutes. But he’s seen her rest like that for hours at a time as she paints whatever comes to her mind so he’s stopped thinking all that much on it by now.

“So, what did you want to talk about, Harry?” Luna finally asks as she uses a spell from her wand to start mixing up three kinds of blues together with some pink.

He opens his mouth but no sound seems to want to come out so he decides to change the subject instead. “What did you want to paint, anyway?”

“A Crumple-Horned Snorkack.” She says and looks at him, waiting and clearly not at all fooled.

Harry’s fingers start twitching in his lap.

“I tried to ask Cho to the ball but she’s going with Cedric,” Harry says in what seems almost one breath. “And McGonagall will kill me if I don’t get a date because the Champions are supposed to open the dance.”

“Alright,” Luna answers but doesn’t turn back to her work, clearly aware that he hasn’t gotten to his point yet.

“Will you go with me to the Yule Ball, please?” He rushes out and then blinks, surprised, he was just going to ask her if she knew anyone who didn’t have a date yet but now that the words are out he realizes this is the perfect solution. Luna is his friend. Going with Luna will be fun and he won’t spend the whole evening with someone he barely knows. The only other girl he could say that about would be Hermione, and he’s not stupid, Ron might be an oblivious idiot about it right now but Harry knows that if he asked Hermione his best friend would kill him. “We can go as friends.”

“I don’t really have a dress robe.”

“Oh.” He says, disappointed.

“But I guess Daddy can send me one of Mom’s old ones, I think I have enough time to alter it to fit me if we hurry,” Luna says and looks at him, a measuring sort of look on her face like she’s considering how serious he’s being. Then she seems to nod to herself and smiles at him. “Alright Harry, I’ll go to the Yule Ball with you. As friends.”

And Harry smiles back at her, for the first time kind of excited about going.

--- iv. - Year 5 - April ---

Since the latest number of Educational Degrees, the number of detentions Umbridge has been assigning to students has grown. But until now he’s only noticed some of the upper years with bindings around one of their hands as evidence to the same kind of lessons she’s been failing to teach Harry all year.

But that remains the case only until Harry turns a corner on his way to the Room of Requirement one day to set up for the latest DA lesson and runs into Luna and a crying first-year Hufflepuff. The boy is clutching his hand to his chest while Luna’s kneeling on the ground in front of him and trying to calm him down.

“It hurts,” Harry hears the boy sniffle.

“Luna?” He says and then to make sure he understands the situation adds - “Did Umbridge-?”

“Yes,” Luna says in a voice that he’s not sure he’s ever heard from her, it’s sharp and cold and furious. 

Harry gets the feeling.

He wavers in place for a moment uncertain of what to say or do to help the upset little Firstie calm down, or even if he should just go find someone better equipped for it, - like Hermione or a Professor, - but then decides to follow Luna’s lead and joins her on the floor in front of him.

“What’s your name?” Harry asks as gently as he can manage.

“Billy Wardyworth.” The boy whispers wetly.

“Can you show me your hand, Billy?” Harry asks, starting to rifle through his pockets for something that could help - he hasn’t left the Common Room without it since his own detentions started getting bad, - and grimaces once the boy does. The skin is swollen red, there’s no blood or visible words yet but he can tell just by looking that Billy hadn’t gotten away with just a few lines.

He pulls out the little bottle of Murtlap Essence that Hermione made for him and quickly unscrews the top. “Here, this should help.”

Luna seems to understand what he’s doing because she takes out her wand to cut away the edge of her sleeve with a spell and as soon as Harry’s done applying the soothing solution on Billy’s skin takes over to wrap it securely around the boy's hand.

“Better?” Luna asks once she’s done too.

Billy nods, still sniffling but starting to wipe the tears from his face with his unhurt hand.

“What happened? I haven’t seen Umbridge forcing that sick quill on anyone younger than a fifth year.” He asks Luna now that Billy is starting to look a bit better. Not that he thinks their High Inquisitor is doing it out of any kind of moral standpoint, his guess would be more along the lines of her being aware that it might be the thing that pushed the rest of the teachers over the edge into just killing her.

The feeling McGonagall has been projecting is certainly that the only reason she hasn’t already is because getting sent to Azkaban would leave her students entirely unprotected.

“You know she’s been reading all incoming and outgoing mail right?”

“Yeah?” he says, it’s why he hasn’t written Sirius anything in ages.

“Billy’s dads didn’t.” 

“What did she read?” He asks, his stomach sinking with a bad feeling but Luna doesn’t say, just shakes her head angrily.

“Papa got bitten last year,” Billy says, eyes on the floor and pulling his knees closer to his chest. “Dad was just letting me know everything went okay during the full moon so I wouldn't worry. He’s been doing it every month.”

And Umbridge is the one who drafted that anti-werewolf legislation that Sirius told him about. Of course, she’s also the kind of person who would take out her hatred for the boy’s father’s very existence on an eleven-year-old.

Harry starts cursing but when Billy flinches Harry’s insides twist in guilt at realizing how the Firstie might have taken it. 

“I’m glad your dad is okay,” Harry says, trying to fix it and once Billy looks back at him hopefully he for good measure adds -”Umbridge had no right to do that.”

“Thanks.” The boy says.

Harry and Luna share a look and slowly get to their feet.“Come on, Billy.” Luna says, extending her hand to help the boy get up too. “I’ll walk you to Professor Sprout, I’m sure she’ll figure out how to make certain Umbridge can’t give you any more detentions with her.”

Harry catches her hand when she starts to turn. “Want me to come along?”

“No, we’ll be alright,” Luna says, squeezing his hand and smiling a bit weakly at him. “You’ve got stuff to set up.”

“Okay. Stay after?” He says vaguely, not that he thinks Billy would tell someone about Dumbledore’s Army but they did all sign the scroll. And he’s not at all enthusiastic about finding out exactly what kind of spell-work Hermione did on that parchment.

“Alright,” Luna says and then leaves, the little boy tucked against her side.

--- v. - Year 6 - July ---

The funeral happens on a cloudy Monday morning. Harry’s head feels like it’s moving through sludge or maybe through something more sticky, like toffee made by Hagrid.

He barely notices the world around him, though somewhere at the back of his mind he’s aware that to his right Hermione is crying in Ron’s arms. That Luna’s head is tucked into the hollow of Harry’s neck and her hair is tickling his face with the breeze from the wind. That somewhere behind him Ginny is squeezed between Fred and George who showed up this morning in the company of the rest of the Order. That Neville is standing there too, pale-faced and strong-jawed with hands around himself and tears running over his cheeks.

Harry himself isn’t crying. 

Harry’s mind is too full of what he needs to do now to cry. And whenever a flash of green lights up in his mind, whenever he sees Dumbledore pleading and then falling, whenever he sees Snape killing him, the grief in his chest gets burned up by rage.

But he knows he doesn’t have time for that either.

He needs to find the Horcruxes and destroy them and he doesn’t even know where to start. They’re at war now. He knows that technically they’ve been at war since the end of last year, or even since Cedric died in that cemetery in what now feels like lifetimes ago. But now that Dumbledore is dead it’s really, truly here in a way it hadn’t been before.

And the idea that it all now rests in his hands is crushing.

But he has no choice, he’s going to need to find a way to do it, to kill Voldemort. To save his friends. To save everyone.

He barely hears the service. Barely notices as it finally ends and everyone gets up and starts walking back for the castle or out towards Hogsmeade.

He does notice it as Luna pulls on his elbow to change the direction of their steps and head for the lake. Harry lets her guide him, exchanging a last tired look with Hermione and Ron when they stay on their path.

Minutes later they’re alone, watching the play of wind against the surface of the water when Luna speaks.

“You’re not coming back to Hogwarts next year.”

“No.” He says, not at all surprised that Luna knows that, she doesn’t know about the pieces of Voldemort’s soul that he has to destroy but she’s the most observant person he’s ever met, she’s probably read his plans in his face.

“Okay.” She says.

He looks at her and feels his heart starting to hurt as soon as he does. Through the past year he’s started to notice his feelings for Luna changing, Merlin they might have been changing even longer, maybe since before he asked her to the Yule Ball in his fourth year. He just knows he’s almost said something a hundred times by now only to chicken out at the last moment. Because he cares about Luna so much and he doesn’t quite know how to risk their friendship on what feels like the most terrifying gamble ever.

And now that he can’t because it wouldn't be fair, he wishes he’d taken at least one of the opportunities that had come before.

He wishes he knew what she would have said.

“But Harry?” Luna says, staring up into his eyes. Her own eyes, wide and full to the brim with a kaleidoscope of thoughts.

“Yeah?” He asks, a little breathless. Her eyes are so beautiful.

“After you’ve done what you have to. When it’s possible. Come back then,” she says and he knows she’s not talking about Hogwarts. He’s not sure exactly what lays behind her words, and it would hurt either way right now so he chooses not to linger there and just nods.

Then Luna smiles sadly at him, and leans in to place a quick kiss on his cheek that leaves a line of burn from the spot on his skin straight into his heart and then hugs him so tightly it’s almost hard to breathe. His own arms clutch around her like he’s afraid to let go.

“Goodbye, Harry,” Luna whispers into his ear.

“Goodbye, Luna.”

--- vi. - Year 7 - May ---

“We did it,” Ron exclaims in dazed shock. Like it hasn’t really hit yet. Harry looks at him and then has to look away because there are tears in his eyes and behind the shock, there’s the avalanche of grief just waiting for Ron to slow down enough to be buried in.

Fred is dead.

So are Remus and Tonks.

They did it. They won, Voldemort is finally dead, his Death Eaters have been defeated and they’ve won the war. But the Great Hall is filled with dead kids and dead members of the Order and somehow the price feels too high. He knows the price was always going to be too high and yet now that he has space enough to let that truth crash into him he doesn’t know what to do with it.

So he doesn’t, instead, he wraps one arm around Ron, the other around Hermione and then they hold each other up long enough so that they’ll be able to stand on their own. Even if only just for a few more hours.

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, - tears of grief mixing with tears of relief, Hermione’s hair in his face, and Ron’s hand squeezing his arm, - before he notices that they’re not alone. That there are three more survivors by the window behind them.

But finally, he notices them, Neville, Ginny, and Luna, the trio who held up Hogwarts while Harry, Ron, and Hermione were hunting for a way to save their world. The people who years ago went with him into the belly of the beast trying to save Sirius.

He can’t believe they all survived. He’s so glad that all six of them survived.

He smiles at them and laughs. Suddenly so giddy he doesn’t even know what’s coming over him.

“Hey,” he chokes out and then suddenly their hug grows by three and all of them are giggling like they’ve been hit by overpowered cheering charms. They’re all bloody, injured, and dirty with sweat. And they’re alive, and it’s over, and it hurts but it’s also the best feeling ever and Harry hasn’t felt this free in- maybe ever.

There’s tears running over his cheeks and a smile on his face and he doesn’t know what tomorrow looks like.

---

Turns out tomorrow is cold and windy and the sunrise by the lake is the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a year. The sky is red and golden and blue and purple all mixed together.

They’d all spent the night at Hogwarts. Not all of them having anywhere else to go, many of their homes having been compromised and destroyed and burned down months ago. It was so strange, sleeping in the Gryffindor dormitory after so long as if nothing had changed, except that there were adults, - even parents, - down in the common room.

Harry had woken up first and restless he’d left before anyone else was even stirring.

Now he’s by the very edge of the lake, his back to the destruction of much of the castle and eyes on the sky. Admiring something he hasn't had time or heart to look at in what feels like years.

When she comes to join him he doesn’t feel surprised. It almost feels like he was waiting.

“Hey, Luna,” he says as soon as she drops beside him and slides her hand around his elbow, leaning her head against his shoulder. He slips the fingers of his hand through hers and smiles when she squeezes their palms together.

“Hi, Harry,” Luna says, toeing off her shoes and socks, - each a different color, he notices, his heart clenching at this reminder of Dobby - and sticking them into the water.

Her head is warm against his cheek and his mind snags on the memory of the last time she was in his arms. Not yesterday when he had arms full of friends and Luna was just one of them but before that when he was regretting never having said anything, never taking any of the opportunities handed to him.

This feels like another of those moments.

And this time he decides to be brave.

“Luna?” he says and turns his head to look at her, their faces only inches apart when Luna turns her own head too. “I-”

Words fail him but slowly he picks up his free hand and tucks her hair behind her ear, carefully so that it doesn’t snag against her radish earring and lingers there.

Luna’s mouth twists into a little knowing smile that’s hard to misinterpret and then she leans forward and all Harry has to do is finish breaching the distance before his lips touch hers and his mind comes to a slow gentle stop.

Luna’s lips are warmer than the sunrise he’d just been admiring. They move slowly against his like she’s exploring this feeling alongside him, or like she’s searching for proof of one of her strange creatures and the answer is somewhere inside him.

His heart beats slow and steady but also impossibly loudly in his ears. And his entire world narrows down to Luna’s lips against his, Luna’s hand in his, the side of Luna’s face against the palm of his hand, and the softness of her hair between his fingers.

A lifetime later when they pull away from each other and the world slots back into place he doesn’t feel any different. He’s still exhausted, and a bit lost and mourning for far too many friends but he’s also just a little bit less alone.

“Thank you for coming back, Harry,” Luna says and moves back into his side, chin resting against his shoulder.

He smiles.

They stay like that for a minute and then Harry finds himself wondering out loud what he hasn’t let himself consider in his head. “What are we going to do now?”

“What do you want to do?” Luna asks, voice measured and thoughtful.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t think I do either,” Luna says. “But won’t it be wonderful to find out?”

He thinks about that. About how until now he’d only known that he either had to kill Voldemort or die trying when he didn’t know what he’d do after the war because there was no ‘after the war’. Now his future is wide open and he has no idea what he wants to do with it but he does have choices, - chances, - in front of him that he didn’t before.

He could join the Aurors like he planned even though it no longer feels like as attractive an option now that he’s spent so long fighting. But he could. Or he could think more about Hermione mentioning once during DA how he’d make a good teacher. Or he could join Luna if she still wants to go off exploring the world and finding new magical creatures. It might be nice to take a vacation away from Britain.

He could play professional Quidditch. Or help the Weasleys fix their home. Or get to know his godson. Or help Hermione find her parents. 

The future is just a hand’s reach away now and it all looks so amazing.

“Yeah,” he muses aloud and pulls Luna closer, “it really will be.”

[caffeinated-mendes]

The Band - Shawn Mendes

masterlist

previous work

synopsis: you’re a talented drummer, needed by many tour agencies, and you’ve just gotten another job. this time, you’re on tour with shawn mendes, and it’s one of the best tours you’ve been on. but before you’re close to finishing, you start feeling like you’re something more than a bandmate to shawn.

a/n: hey everyone! it’s been a while. i took a break from writing to focus on my priorities, and now i’m getting back into it. i might upload only once every month or two, but this way, i’ll probably be more consistent and my content will be better and longer. as always, thank you for reading. much love <3

word count: 14.7 k

warnings: swearing, implied/referenced nsfw content

*if you prefer, you can read this on ao3 here

“Are you the new drummer?” You perk your head up from your shaking knee, shifting in the plastic chair you’re sat in. A woman is standing in front of you, seeming to be in her late twenties, and she looked very professional. Black pencil skirt and a navy blue blouse, and bleached hair slicked back with a clipboard in her hand. 

You nod, “Yes, I was told to wait here.” You suddenly felt very underdressed next to her. She radiated confidence, and your distressed jeans and graphic tee were sub-par to say the least. Every audition you had you dressed up, but that was all you really dressed up for, save for parties. 

She grins a welcoming smile, “Perfect. You’ll fit right in. Come and follow me so you can meet the boys.” Grateful for the warmness in her voice, you pass the many hallways of the studio Shawn and his band had rented out. It was nice, and a little off the grid, which you didn’t mind. “I’m Missy, by the way. My real name’s Margaret, but everyone just calls me Missy.”

“It’s nice to meet you, then, Missy.” You politely reply, because you’re still unsure even if she was nice to you. It was hard to warm up to new people, but when you jammed out on the drums, it felt like everything around you fell away, and you didn’t worry about looking vulnerable. Missy’s heels click on the tile of the studio, which turns to thudding as you enter the carpeted room. Black sound absorption panels line the room, and a fluorescent light shines above, illuminating the otherwise dim room. 

Sat on an amp near a set of drums and a guitar rack was a short guy with dirty blonde hair gathered behind his neck. He wore athletic shorts and a muscle shirt, and gave off the vibe that he wouldn’t mind getting drunk with you any time you asked. He slapped on a shimmering black bass, and you were impressed at how well he played. You recognized a bassline from one of your favorite songs. “I love Flea,” you say, and he looks up, grinning an absolutely ridiculous smile. It didn’t match his appearance at all, and made him look dorky as ever. “It sounds great.” You gestured to his bass.

Missy turned to you, “This is Kit. He looks bulky but he won’t do you any harm, I promise.”

Kit sets his bass on the rack and walks up to you, taking your hand and kissing it, “M’lady.” His deep voice sets off a set of laughs between the two of you, “Pleased to meet your acquaintance. And yes, Flea is fucking amazing.”

You smile at his so eloquently-put sentence as another guy enters the room, this one much taller and leaner than Kit. “And this,” Missy turns to him, “Is Simon. He’s our guitarist-slash-vocal backup.” Simon grins, shaggy dark hair going into his eyes as he shakes your hand.

“I saw your audition video. You sound awesome,” He crosses his arms, “Let’s just hope Kit can keep up with you.”

“Shut up, dumbass,” Kit choruses from behind. 

Simon smirks, “Shawn should be here any minute. He ran to get us some coffee. I hope you’re okay with cream.” He turns to the soundboard, fidgeting with a track on the monitor. Missy leaves silently, rubbing your arm in comfort before she goes.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” You look around the room. In the middle of the studio is a microphone with headphones hanging on the stand holding it. Next to it is a beautiful guitar: it has three bronze and three brass strings and dark-stained wood. To the left of the stand are your drums for the time being. They’re glossy and black with shining cymbals, and two drumsticks placed on the bass drum. 

Kit picked up his bass again and revisited his spot on the amp, even when there was a perfectly good stool for him off the right of the microphone, “Go on,” He says to you, “Give it a go.” You inhaled and grabbed your set of drumsticks from your back pocket. They were special, a gift from your father, and you never wanted to be without them. They had little etchings at the bottom of each of the sticks, a little circle surrounding your initials. The stool underneath you creaked, and you moved the other pair of drumsticks to the ground. Simon smiles, watching you as you hit the pedal beneath you a few times, feeling the deep, booming sound resonate through your body. 

You start slow, picking a moderate tempo, and as the seconds pass, you increase the complexity and the speed, feeling a rhythm that explains how you feel yourself right now. Nervous, but excited. Excited for the new adventure, excited for a new chapter, but scared that you won’t find happiness on this tour. It never happens, but it’s still a doubt in your mind. This doubt booms out from the beat, and the cymbals mimic your strangled heartbeat, mimic your unsureness in yourself and your abilities. You begin to move your body with the momentum of the beat, your hair flicking wildly around you as you lean back and forth, bracelets rattling on your wrist and your sneaker hitting the pedal with such intensity that the ending feels like the end of a firework show: it’s sudden, and dramatic, and so adrenaline-filled you feel like you’re coming out of a trance. 

It’s silent for a moment, until you hear an unfamiliar cry going, “Yeah! Wooo!” and two other voices whooping and clapping. Looking up, you see someone standing against the closed door, grinning wildly. You exhale a breath of relief and get up from the stool, recognizing the figure. Shawn stood, his eyes glittering, his smile saying he was impressed. A set of coffees sat on the table next to him, dangerously close to the soundboard. 

“That was fucking awesome!” Kit comes up to you and whips you around in a circle, setting you down with a crazy look in his eye. Normally, you would’ve been weirded out by that much contact with someone you met five minutes ago, but it felt normal and comfortable. “We’re never gonna let you go,” Kit said. 

“Should I be scared?” You look and Shawn and Simon, pocketing your drumsticks again.

“I’m not sure, Kit gets attached,” Shawn replies, and walks up to you with his hand out, “I’m Shawn. I’m so glad we got you, I don’t know what I would’ve done without a drummer on this tour.” You shake his hand, and then put your hands in your pockets, rocking on your toes.

“I don’t know, but I’m glad I’m here too. I love traveling the world.” You look up at Shawn, his eyes not too far from yours. You were pleased to say you were taller than most people, but he still had a few inches over you. Shawn exhales softly, a small laugh, and you look at his curling brown hair falling onto his forehead, watching as he takes off his jacket and sets it on the desk chair in front of the soundboard.

Shawn hands you a cup of coffee and it warms your cold hands, a sign you were nervous. “Should we go through the setlist? We only have the studio for the rest of today.” Kit and Simon hum in agreement, and Shawn hands you a packet of sheet music. 

You refuse it, swallowing the sip of coffee you took, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I got all the songs memorized by now. I wouldn’t want to slip up in concert. I have my own at home, anyway.” 

He grins, “Perfect. Let’s start with Lost in Japan, yeah?” He directs the question to all of you as you both take your seats. From here, you can see all of them well. You knew you’d have to start to learn their mannerisms and they way the cued people in, Shawn especially, because you’d seen some guitar and drum solos in the setlist from the information they sent you. Simon moved to the keyboard off to the left of him, running through the melodic introduction to the song. You loved the intro, but loved it even more when the beat dropped and you came in with all your energy, feeling an amazing vibe from Kit’s bass, and every once in a while Shawn would look back at you to make sure you were alright, checking if you were feeling comfortable. You’d been with so many bands, but it never felt like this. Deep down, a tugging in your stomach told you that you had a feeling this was going to be one of the best years of your life.

The line for security was too long. It was the next morning, and you were stuck lugging your massive suitcase a few inches every few minutes because the Toronto airport didn’t know how to manage lines. It’s too early for this, you thought as you gazed out the huge windows lining the sleek airport. It was still dark, and your first stop was Dublin, so you had to leave before the crack of dawn to make your flight. You felt bad for the guys though, each of them having to carry an equally as large suitcase with their guitar cases. All of their cases looked the same: plastered with fragile stickers that were scratched and peeling at the edges. You scratched your head, feeling your loose ponytail. You may or may not have fallen asleep on the car ride there, resulting in your messy hair, and the boys may or may not have made a video of them scaring you awake once you arrived at the airport. 

You tugged on your hoodie, pulling the strings nervously, and once you realized you were tapping your foot and playing with the hair tie on your wrist, you took out your earbuds to distract you from the commotion of the line ahead of you. A relaxed melody floated into your head as you put them in, and Shawn shifted in front of you, getting ready to go through the scanner. He turned to face you and the boys, watching as his security guards inched closer to the four of you. You felt bad for him sometimes, because even not knowing him well, you knew that it was hard for him to go places and have normal experiences.

The music settled your nerves a bit, your hand tapping your thigh to the beat of the song. “What are you listening to?” Shawn asks quietly. You handed him an earbud, and he leaned close to you, connected by the cord. You felt your heartbeat quicken, but you didn’t know why. It must’ve been the song, because it was getting louder as it reached the bridge. “I’ve never heard this song,” Shawn says, and you hand him your phone so he can look at what it’s called. “I like it, I think I’ll download their album so I can listen on the plane.”

The sides of your lips turn in a smile, and he mirrors your expression back to you. “If you’re sitting next to me we can always share.” Shawn takes out the earbud, and hands it back to you as the song ends. 

“Okay, I think we will be because Kit and Simon like sitting next to each other. They say I snore.” Shawn nudges your shoulder, and you laugh, turning your gaze to the two of them behind you. They were messing with the sticker tags on their suitcases, unsure of how to straighten them out. 

“I’m sure you don’t,” You replied, and looked at him. He had his head close to yours, and from there you could smell his shampoo. It smelled like mint, and the scent drifted away as Shawn was called through the metal detector. You suddenly began to feel hot, even though it was March and freezing in the airport. Controlling your breathing, you put your cold hands on your face and started to gain some more control over your heartbeat. What was wrong with you? You had already built up your immunity from so many world tours, and knew you would only catch something once or twice during the tour. Were you already feeling sick?

Simon pushed you along through the tunnel, into the plane. He hated standing still like you, and now that the boys had left their guitars, he had wanted to board as quickly as possible. It was fun to learn all the guys’ quirks. You knew Kit the best so far, just because he never really stopped talking. He loved talking about his life and weird experiences he’d had, and honestly, it was fitting because you were such opposites. You knew how he hated cheese with a passion and once threw up four times in a row after chugging a gallon of milk in thirty seconds. He was very entertaining, to say the least.

You knew Simon had a little sister back at home, and he was from Chicago, which explained the way he said his As. He’d been playing guitar since he was nine years old, and you could relate to him in that way because you started on drums from a young age, too. You had met some of Shawn’s friends that traveled along and of course, his manager, and every other important person that came on tour with you all, but you stayed close to the band. After all, you had known them a day longer than anyone else.

Shawn hadn’t told you much, but he didn’t need to. His friends had already told you some embarrassing things about him, and you knew you would get to know each other better as the tour progressed. You didn’t want to pry.

You boarded the plane, and got into your assigned seat. There were only two seats together because you were flying first class, and you were glad to have the extra leg room and space. Looking out the window, you saw that it began to rain pretty hard, so you already anticipated some bad turbulence going into the sky. Luggage carriers zoomed around the plane, and you watched as the sun began to peek through the horizon. It streaked the sky a bright orange, and made the clouds pink. It gave you a warm feeling that you only got when you saw the sunrise. 

Shawn shuffled into the seat next you, snapping you out of your daydream. The lights shut off at that exact moment, making the inside of the plane glow blue at the ceiling, meaning passengers could sleep for a while before it got really bright. You could only see Shawn’s necklace sparkling as it escaped his hoodie, and some of his hair. Finally, your eyes began to adjust right as he got settled in. You pulled out your phone again and offered him an earbud. He took it with a smile. “What are we listening to?”

“My playlist. Prepared to be amazed at my exquisite music taste.” 

“Will do.” He put it in his ear, shuffling to the right side of his seat so he wouldn’t accidentally pull it out of your ear. At that moment you felt a bump in your back, ripping it out of your ear anyway.

“Sorry, Sticks!” Kit poked his head over your seat, and you looked up at him.

“Sticks?” You questioned.

“Y’know, you have your own special drumsticks. I gotta find some nickname to call you by.” He grins his dopey grin as he sits back down. 

“That’s a terrible nickname.” You call back.

He replies, “That’s why I’m keeping it, cause you don’t like it!” You could practically hear him smiling then. Shawn shakes his head, giggling with you. 

At that point the plane began to turn around, ready to go on the runway. You clenched your fists, tapping them on your legs as the plane got faster and faster, and finally, you were pushed back into your seat as it began its ascent. No matter how many times you flew on a plane, you hated getting in and out of the sky. Your mind went to the darkest situations, and you terrified yourself every time with the smallest possibility that you wouldn’t make it to the ground safe. 

You remembered your dad’s words to you when you were little. Whenever you would cry he would show you how to breathe. Holding onto your bracelets, you breathed in five seconds, held it, out five seconds. After your heart stopped racing, you looked out the window and completely ruined all the work you’d done. The plane was turning, but it looked like it was falling to you. Turbulence made it shake, quickening your heartbeat. You immediately shut your eyes.

A gentle tap went to your shoulder. You opened your eyes and looked at Shawn, who had concern plastered across his face, “Hey, are you okay?”

You gulped, “Yeah, I’m fine, I get a little panicky on planes. I’ll be fine once we’re above the clouds.” At that point, Shawn took your hand and squeezed it with both of his, warmth surging through. “What are you doing?”

“Pressure to the body helps people control anxiety, remind them that they’re there and okay, you know? Usually holding them works best because they’re soothing too, but-” he stopped himself, “Jeez, your hands are so cold.”

“Yeah, they get like that when I’m nervous.” You replied.

“Okay, just look at me. Don’t look at the windows.” His eyes met yours, and they never wavered. He began to breathe just like how your dad taught you, never letting go of your hand. He stopped after a minute or so. “There you go, now you’ll be okay. We’re above the clouds.”

“Thank you,” You said sympathetically. The music in your ears suddenly came back, and you realized you tuned it out before. Shawn began to rummage through his bag, taking out a case for glasses. He opened it, and put on the ugliest pair of glasses you had ever seen. They were big, orange tinted glasses that covered half his face. “What are those?” You asked, holding in laughter.

“What?” He looked at you like it was nothing out of the ordinary. “These? They help you sleep because of the orange lens.”

“You’re ridiculous.” 

Dublin came quicker than you expected. You must have fallen asleep on the flight, which was strange, since you never fell asleep on planes. You must’ve been mentally drained from take-off, you tell yourself. As expected, Shawn was fast asleep, adorning his orange glasses and your earbud still in his ear. 

Once you grabbed your bag from the overhead compartment, you sped your way through the plane and the tunnel, trying desperately to move your legs. You could feel the pins and needles in your legs and the humid air filling your lungs as you entered the airport. Kit and Simon walked with you, one on both sides, and Shawn lagging behind, talking to his friend Connor. He seemed nice when you had met that same morning, but you didn’t talk much after that.

Driving from the airport, you never got used to the feeling of being somewhere new. The sky was a pale blue with clouds streaked across it and driving along the weathered roads with the sun-baked buildings was another experience. The air smelled cleaner, at least cleaner than Toronto, and looking out the window of the car you and the boys were driving in, you could see shops open for business lining the street, selling bouquets of flowers, books, pastries, and so many other enchanting things. A double decker bus passed you, crowded with people snapping photos. Children ran along the sidewalk playing with kites and eating ice cream. It seemed like a wonderful place to live.

The hotel you stayed at wasn’t big, but a medium-sized building with a few floors. Since you were the only girl besides Alessia (and she was sharing a room with one of her family members) you would get your own room. Missy had stayed in Toronto, telling you that she’d be there for the Asian leg of the tour. You were content with being with Alessia and the guys, though, because you often found ways to entertain yourself. You didn’t doubt that Kit wouldn’t be entertaining nonetheless. 

Andrew, Shawn’s manager, handed all of you your keycards as you entered the lobby of the hotel. It looked nice; high ceilings, chandeliers, places to sit and a bar ready for anyone to sit at. All you wanted to do was sleep and the first concert wasn’t until tomorrow, so you took the first elevator and slipped out of the group as quietly as possible. When you unlocked your room, you were met with a queen bed, a bathroom, a small counter space, table with two chairs, a beautiful view from the window. White curtains blew from the wind that picked up in the room and your mouth watered at the smell of the bakery across the street. Setting your bag down, you began your mental hotel room checklist your mother ingrained into your head: check the mattress for bed bugs, take the top cover off because it’s never washed, put your suitcase in the closet, check inside and under all furniture for anything suspicious. 

You sometimes wondered how your mother and father even married each other, and stayed together at that. They were such opposites. She was a control freak, obsessed with keeping things orderly the way she wanted. He was relaxed, ready for anything that came his way. You wondered how people saw you as when they first met you. You cast the thought aside and closed and locked the window. You changed into leggings and a big t-shirt and crawled into bed, feeling the stress of the day fade away as you sank into the mattress. Within seconds, you fell asleep.

A harsh knocking woke you up from your sleep, and for a second you sat disoriented, not remembering where you were. The sun was setting outside, the horizon glowing. Events from the day came back to you, and knocking kept coming from your door. “Hey, you up?” Someone called on the other side. Yawning, you padded over to it, opening the door and rubbing your eyes.

It was Shawn, and he looked at you, hair a mess from turning in your sleep and the big t-shirt you wore going to your thighs. “Uh, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come get dinner with everyone?” He scratched the back of his neck, looking at you. He had changed into a green long sleeved sweater and black jeans, looking very put together. His hair had been tamed a little more, still curly but not sticking up in places. 

“Yeah, sure, and it’s no problem, I was tired. Are we having a rehearsal tonight?” You touched the bracelets on your wrist subconsciously, and took your hair out of its ponytail, releasing the tension from your scalp.

Shawn cleared his throat after looking at you strangely, “No, the hotel doesn’t have a drum set for you, so we can’t, but we’re gonna go down the street to a place Andrew reserved for us in about ten minutes.”

You nodded, “Alright, let me get dressed and I’ll be waiting in the lobby.” Shawn nodded, and turned to leave, but you caught his wrist. He looked back at you, hazel eyes boring into yours, “Hey, seriously though, thank you for helping me on the plane. I don’t like to tell people about that but it’s hard to hide it. Especially since you’re intuitive.”

“Thank you for the compliment, and hey, that’s what friends are for, right?” Shawn doesn’t take his wrist from your grasp, but you let it go.

“Well, technically, you’re my boss, so-”

“I don’t like that technicality. I want us to be friends. I want you to feel welcome with us, and I want to get to know you and the others to be your friends. So if that means helping you breathe every time we take off or have turbulence, I will gladly do that.” Shawn turns to leave again.

“You don’t even know yet if I work with you all on stage. How do you know I’ll get to stay?” You questioned.

He pressed the elevator button down the hall, to the right of you, “I have a feeling you will.” With that, he went inside the elevator and let the doors close on him.

You skipped and hopped along the cobbled streets of Dublin, laughing, looking up at the sky. As the breeze bit at your face and the moon looked back at you, you got a strange nostalgic feeling, a feeling that made you think you should remember this night forever. You and a few of Shawn’s friends had begun to walk away from the restaurant you had dinner at. Alessia, his special guest and opener, had begun to chat with you, and for a while you felt bad. Through all the commotion you didn’t even introduce yourself because you hadn’t even seen her, even though you knew all the drum parts to her songs. Her setlist was really fun to play.

Alessia ran along with you, a few of the others in tow. You had sparked some conversation about music, fashion, and new movies when you heard some folk music being played on the speakers at the bar across the road. Your feet moved in a rhythm, following a step pattern that you had been taught from folk dancers around the world. That was another thing you loved about touring: learning things from other cultures. “What are you doing?” Alessia asks, snickering as you dance along the pavement. Your sneakers tap the stone to the beat.

“Dancing. Folk dancing.” You turn to face her, dancing while moving backwards, “Come try.” Alessia smiles as you slow down the steps. She catches on fast, and soon enough you’re speeding it back to tempo. Suddenly your jacket isn’t needed as much, and you feel your face is flushed. Tying it around your waist, you see Alessia teaching Kit and Connor, and soon enough, all four of you are dancing, arms linked in a line. Andrew, Shawn, and the rest of the crew finally notice as they catch up to the four of you laughing, humming along to the song. Simon joins the line, asking, “What are we doing?”

“Having fun!” Kit screams back, whooping into the night sky. You see Shawn take a seat on one of the benches across from the five of you, him and everyone else clapping to the beat. He had a strange look on his face, and he wouldn’t break his gaze from you. Every time you laughed, you would sneak a look at him and see a tiny smile tug at his lips. It made you feel off-balance, in a way.

The song ends in no time, and you’re left with some energy spent, smoothing your messy hair down and tying a loose shoelace. A new song comes on, and you and Alessia begin twirling around the street, on your way back to the hotel. Shawn catches up to the two of you, face red from the cold. Alessia reaches out a hand, and her and Shawn begin to zoom in circles with locked arms, going fast with the momentum like a spinning top.

You remembered playing that game when you were little. You and your friends called it Twister. Alessia beckoned you over, and now the three of you became interlinked; Shawn’s cackling, leaning his head back in adrenaline as you scream to slow down. “I think that the rest of them think we’re acting like kids!” You grin, feeling your hair whip your face.

Shawn gasps out, nose and cheeks cherry red, “Who cares?”

“You’re on with Alessia in five,” a stage manager peeks into your’s and Alessia’s shared dressing room, and you nod at them, a mumble of okay in reply. You got nervous before going on stage, but it was more of the adrenaline making you unable to speak. The bright lights in the vanity in front of you shined, illuminating your face. You always did something fun with your makeup with each tour, and decided that this time, you’d do a bright color lining your eyes with some mascara. A bright blue lined your eyes this time, making them pop. Simple, but cool. The band usually had to wear darker clothes to emphasize Shawn and Alessia in front, which wasn’t a problem, so you sported some black sneakers, ripped jeans, denim jacket, and a gray tie-dyed shirt. 

You’re tapping your drumsticks against your thighs as you lightly jog down the bright hall, near the band. People are gathered around in a huddle. “There she is!” Kit says, watching as you walk to the group.

“What’re we doing?” You ask, joining the huddle. You felt like a football player.

“It’s tradition. We say a speech, and then go on stage.” Simon tells you, putting a hand on your back. Alessia’s to the right of you, and Shawn’s opposite from you, watching you. You feel strange again, only for a second. Was he watching you because he wanted to see if you wouldn’t do well tonight? That was impossible, given what he’d said to you last night.  

Alessia’s set left you feeling like you’d drank five coffees and then some more energy drinks, every nerve buzzing in your body. The crowd was wild; they knew all the words to her songs and she would occasionally run to you, singing her heart out while you returned the amazing feeling back, hearing your drums boom over the speakers. Sometimes you would see that the cameras panned on you, and you watched your flushed face, looking like you were completely in your element.

When she told the crowd to give it up for the band, Simon gave you a big thumbs up, reassurance that you were doing well. The first performance was always the hardest. The crowd’s screams roared through your ears, and they became deafening when Shawn appeared on stage, rising from the middle platform, smoke bathing him in the spotlights. You felt your stomach lurch in excitement, ready for the next two and a half hours, every single beat memorized in your fingertips. 

Shawn starts with Lost in Japan, singing beautifully. His voice sounds buttery and warm, and you wait for your queue as he pauses before the beat for dramatic effect. You come in right on time, everything syncing together, and your body’s pulsing, moving with the beat. You’re sweating, but it’s the best feeling you’ve ever felt in your entire life. A few songs pass, and Shawn begins one of his covers, walking over to Kit as they assemble back to back, shredding solos. As the interlude progresses, you see Shawn walking to you, and you swear his gaze is something you’ve never seen before. It’s euphoric, his hair and face glistening, the lights shining so bright that it makes him hard to see until he’s right in front of you, leaning over your cymbals. You flick the drumstick in a circle, catching it as you crash onto the symbols. Shawn’s looking at you, and you feel like all that exists is the two of you. It’s like you’re connected: you know that you’re both feeding each other the best kind of energy you’ve ever felt.

It wasn’t that way with Alessia. Sure, it felt awesome, but this, this guy, this guy who looks absolutely perfect in every way is putting you in a trance and suddenly you come back to your body, him giving you a wink as he makes his way back to center stage. You try to control your breathing with the beat, feeling lightheaded. Soon enough, you focus back on your drums and you pretend like nothing’s happened. But you know, deep down in your stomach, something in you has changed.

Four Months Later

“Goddamn it, I had two yellows left!” Alessia screams, huffing in frustration and flopping back onto the pillows of your bed. You laugh maniacally, falling down next to her, ignoring the scattering Uno cards all over your coverlet. “I can’t believe we’ve been on tour since March, and it’s already July,” She mutters quietly, looking up at the popcorn ceiling.

“I know. It feels like it’s been my entire life but somehow went by so fast I didn’t even notice,” You say back. The two of you just finished a show, exhausted but glad you got to rest for a bit before you left. All of you were taking the bus tonight and you know you wouldn’t sleep very much. Your sleeping habits on planes and buses had not improved one bit since March. 

“You wanna watch a movie tonight on the bus?” Alessia asks, sitting up to gather the cards. She picks one off your thigh, and you stretch your arms, your tank top making the Miami heat and humidity less miserable. Your hotel room still kept the moisture in, and if there was one thing you hated about Canada, it would be the humidity. It made you feel homesick, though, and you sigh as you feel your back stiffen.

“Yes, please, and Shawn asked if we could watch Far From Home,” You grinned at the thought of seeing MJ and Peter’s kiss on the Tower Bridge. You liked some romance if it involved Tom Holland.

Alessia groans, “How many times have you and Shawn watched Spiderman?” She snorts, “It feels endless. And you both can quote that movie word for word.”

“But you forget that we’ve watched the Andrew Garfield and Toby Maguire ones more. Now pick: confident and suave Spiderman, or cute, geeky, highschool Spiderman?”

“Cute geeky highschool Spiderman.” She responds, and all of a sudden there’s a knock at your door. Alessia gets up to answer it, but the door’s already swinging open, and Shawn struts in. He’s wearing a plain, black t-shirt and some gray sweatpants and his hair is wet from the shower. You feel a tugging in your stomach and ignore it.

He grins, “Did someone say Spiderman?” Alessia throws a pillow at him, and he falls back into the desk chair opposite the two of you, laughing.

“Unfortunately, and how did you even get in?”  She responds, sitting up on the headboard of your bed. 

“Kit stole your spare keycard so he could eat some of the German chocolate you have stashed in your backpack, and I caught him in the hallway before the show, so I came to return it now.” He gets up from the desk chair, and sits on the foot of the bed, handing it to you.

You grit your teeth, “I’m gonna kill him. I have been saving that for good reason, rationing it bit by bit. It’s not like you can get it back at home.” Alessia and Shawn respond in a chorus of giggles, looking at your angry face. “What? No one messes with my chocolate!”

It’s a few hours later, and you, Shawn and Alessia are crowded onto the long couch in the bus, letting the streetlamps and highways pass you by. Everyone else had left to go sleep, but you wanted to finish the movie and see the ending, even though you knew exactly what happened. You wore your warm, black sweatpants and the same tank top you had on before. Your hair tickled your back, but it felt good to release the tension from your scalp. You’d decided to put it up from the show tonight, an elegant, slicked back look. Shawn was off to the right of you, watching as Mysterio ‘saved’ the city from the ‘fire elemental.’ You hated him so much, feeling a little too attached to your Marvel characters. Alessia had begun to nod off, and finally was awoken when the bus hit a pothole. She groaned, “I need to sleep,” She pushed herself up off the couch, moving down the hallway into the bunks, “Goodnight, nerds.”

She always did that when you watched anything superhero-y. “Goodnight,” you and Shawn replied in unison. 

Opening your phone, you scrolled through your Instagram, seeing all your mentions of the band in concert. There was a picture of you and Kit hugging, Alessia and you running across the stage together, and you and Shawn playing through your solo. “You always do so well on that part,” Shawn says, leaning into you and looking at your phone. You felt your cheeks flare up and cursed yourself. He looked stunning in the photo, as per usual. Curly hair a mess, and his shirt stuck to his body with sweat. “I loved that outfit you wore, too, it was so cool.” He added. 

You looked at yourself and saw your lace, navy blue blouse, attached with interlacing straps, and flared black pants, paired with combat boots and your usual bracelets. Your slicked back ponytail was completed with the dangly earrings you wore. “Thanks,” you responded, “I try.” You can feel his shoulder touching yours, his knee brushing up against you. You scroll down a bit farther through the photos you’re tagged in, and see a picture of you and your dad. He posted it on your birthday. It was you and him backstage, a few years ago when you’d played your first tour. His hair and eyes were the same color as yours, and he always had a scruffy beard. You’re hugging him, and you remembered at that moment what he’d said to you. I love you, I’m so proud of the person you’ve become. Never stop doing what you love. Follow your heart, my love. 

You smiled to yourself and began to miss him so much. He was probably at home, watching his favorite show on TV, mom sitting next to him on the couch, reading a book. “Who’s that?” Shawn asked. He looked at you, and you turned your head, watching as his eyes studied you. 

“My dad. He’s the one who taught me to play the drums.” You fiddled with the bracelets on your wrist.

Shawn nods, “I’m guessing those bracelets you always wear are from him.” You looked down as he took your wrist, looking at three entangled together. 

“The first one, the one with the bird on it,” It was brown, the engraved bird, silver, “That was his. It was his good luck charm. The second he got me on my fifteenth birthday, the one that’s the silver chain.” That one had your birthstone on it in the middle, “And the last, that was given to me when I graduated high school.” It was a braided black cord, and on it a charm silvery-black that was your first initial. 

“They’re beautiful.” Shawn moves his fingers down from your arm, tracing your skin, and you shiver, “You’re beautiful.” His voice is soft, almost as if he’s scared for you to realize what he said, bottom lip quivering. His eyes never move away from you. It’s hard to see him, but the bus’s blue lights keep the room from being pitch black. You see his lips tug into a smile, and then he’s kissing you, and it’s like your body’s wired to respond to him. Kissing back, you move your fingers to the nape of his neck, twisting his hair into knots. You feel his hand settle on your waist, and he moves closer till you’re nearly on his lap. He smells like mint shampoo and his lips are soft. He teases you, licking your lip until you open your mouth, engulfing yourself in his touch.

You’re suddenly glad that you’re at the back of the bus, far from the driver and everyone sleeping. You pause for breath, looking at him. His eyes are sparkling, pupils blown out, and his lips and cheeks are flushed red. Your hair creates a curtain around your faces, and he plays with it, now that you’re settled on his lap. Feeling another wave of desire pulse through you, and you trace your fingers across his chest as he whines in response, but then you realize what’s happening, and your breath hitches, and you pull back, blood rushing to your face. “Wait, wait, we can’t do this. This isn’t right. I work with you.” You move off of him, getting up and standing.

Shawn grabs your hand, lightly. “What, no!” His voice is hushed, but still frantic, “It’s not like that. I’ve been feeling this for a while now, and every time I see you, it’s like I need you, I need you so-”

“-Shawn,” you say, and he stops, shutting his mouth and swallowing. He looks so good, and you feel your entire body wanting to go to him, but you knew it would end badly. You couldn’t have feelings. You shouldn’t. “This,” you waved your hands from you to Shawn, “We can’t do this.” 

All of a sudden, he takes your hand and puts it on his chest. “Tell me,” he says, and you feel his heart pounding, “Tell me you don’t feel anything when I do this. Tell me,” He pulls you in, putting his hand on your waist. The bus shakes, but he’s there, holding you, “You don’t feel anything when I do this.” He’s leaning over you now, mouth right next to your ear, “When you feel my hand running along your back,” you shiver, your entire body stiff, “Or when you hear me say that all I think about is you. And when you’re around me, all I want is to hold you like this, and feel your hands in my hair, and listen to your laugh, and lean on you when we watch movies, and play music with you, and-” 

You move his face from your side, and pull him in, kissing him again, and again, till you feel your lips swollen and your body pulsing, taking the feeling in one last time. Like that, it’s over, and you push away from him again, looking at his messy hair, curls strewn everywhere, and mutter, “I-I need to go to bed.” You can’t meet his eyes. His hands fall from your waist as you walk into the hallway, down to the bunks, every atom in your body protesting.

The next morning, you’re trying to busy your mind with anything you could possibly think of: memorizing the music for potential covers, reorganizing your suitcase; it was a flurry of meaningless tasks as you finally had to face soundcheck. Last night left you feeling lightheaded and warm inside, but when you thought about what was actually happening, that you had feelings for Shawn that he returned, your heart would pound and anxiety would creep into your chest. 

It wasn’t right. What if you decided to be together and then two weeks later you’ve argued and broken up and then the band doesn’t work? You’d ruin the entire tour. Or what if you felt that same pain you knew all too well?

You're tugging at the peeling skin on your lips, trying to delay soundcheck as much as possible as you round through the twisting hallways of the stadium. Humming helps you clear your head a bit, but the instant you see Shawn you know you’ll be tripping over yourself trying to get to your drums. As if heaven itself was descended upon you, Alessia and Simon are walking towards you, coming from the stage entrance. “They’re almost ready,” Simon said, his face calm.

Wondering if your face looked the same way your mind would’ve, you nodded, replying, “Alright, let’s go. Did you still want to do that solo with me, A?” You force yourself to tug a smile onto your lips. Simon patted your shoulder as he moved down the hallway, probably to get Kit to stop raiding the catering rooms for food.

Praying that the drums would muffle the world around you, Alessia replied, “Yeah, and I was thinking that maybe I could bring you to the front with me to hit the soundbox for an acoustic version, because Shawn said-”

“I kissed Shawn last night,” You blurted right before you walked through the stage door. You could see Connor, Geoff, and a few others crowding around some cameras, and your skull was pounding. Everything you felt that you questioned yourself about felt like a blow to the head. Alessia looked at you, her face unsettlingly calm. “Say something,” You pleaded.

“Was it good?”

“What? Ask me anything but that! Tell me I’m horrible, tell me this is wrong, that I’ll ruin this for everyone!” You grabbed Alessia’s arms, shaking her wildly. 

She began to smile. Smile. Why would she smile, of all things? “You guys are way more than friends, and you both know it,” Alessia assures. “You’re always teasing each other, you sit next to each other on planes and buses, and have you seen the way he looks at you on stage?” 

“What do you mean?” You asked. Alessia pulled you to the side of the doorway, Shawn walking down by Connor. 

“He looks back at you all the time on stage, and when he’s doing that solo with you, he’s facing only you on purpose. It’s like he doesn’t even remember anyone else is there.” She lovingly puts her hand on your arm, and you feel your stomach settling. “I’ve seen you on the plane, when you start to panic. He’s the only one who can calm you down, and you always make him feel better about being nervous up there.” She nods her head to the stage. “It’s only about what you want now.”

You groaned, turning your head to look at him. He was stiff all over, strumming his guitar as he sat on the edge of the stage. “I don’t know what I want. I have rules when it comes to tours. Relationships don’t end well.”

“Who’s relationship?” You jumped, turning to see Kit walk up, crumbs on his face.

You shrugged, “Oh, no one’s. I was just saying that usually band relationships don’t end well. I’ve seen one or two of ‘em.” You covered yourself, Alessia nodding. You didn’t actually know anyone who dated someone they worked with.

Kit scratches his chin, crumbs falling to the ground, “Well, my best friend’s mom ended up marrying the guy she was in a high school band with. They’re probably the happiest couple I’ve seen. Don’t ask me though,” He grinned, walking through the doorway and turning his head to face them, “I have commitment problems. See ya on stage, Sticks!”

You and Alessia rolled your eyes in unison. As he walked away from you, you looked at Shawn, who turned his head at the sound of your nickname. Alessia rubbed the small of your back, “I think he wants to talk to you,” she stated. You shook your head, ripping your eyes away from his stare. His eyes practically drowned you, his longing gaze making you feel dizzy. You were so fucked for him, and you didn’t have a clue what to do.

“Stay with me, A,” You practically whined like a five year old.

She shook her head, “I can’t do this for you,” She sounded like your mother, “If you tell him what you’re thinking, he’ll understand.”

You nodded and soon enough Alessia was gone, her laughing echoing through the arena. Shawn left his conversation, his friends’ eyes trailing after him as he approached you. He looked tired, devoid of sleep, and you felt guilt settle in the pit of your stomach. He lost sleep over you. It shouldn’t affect you, but you weren’t surprised by the same dark circles under your eyes this morning. He wore a plain white t-shirt, reasonable for the warm season, but now that you accepted your feelings for him, it was like you were seeing him differently this time. His eyes were prettier, body more graceful in the way he moved, and you could see every little detail that made him look perfect to you. “Hey,” was all he said.

His face seemed to be saying so much more, but you replied, “Hi.” God, you were so lame.

“We need to talk,” He said, fingers nearly touching yours where both your arms lay limp.

You nodded, watching his eyes shifting around your face as if he were trying to figure out a puzzle. “I know, it’s just that right now, I’m really confused, and I know that doesn’t make up for anything I did last night, but I just don’t know what I want.” You wanted to say you did, and everything in your heart that told you to kiss him right then and tell him you wanted him was chided at and locked away by your brain’s fears and doubts. You hadn’t realized that both your hands had met, and you were subconsciously running your thumb over the rings on his fingers.

Shawn was wordless, his mouth in a tight line. You watched as he inhaled, studying your intertwined hands, “I’ll wait for your answer,” He said it quietly, in the same way he had said that you were beautiful last night, unsure of what you were going to reply with. You began to open your mouth, but then someone cut you off. 

“Yo, Sticks! Where are you?” Kit called from the stage, “Where is she, man?” You could hear Simon mumble an ‘I don’t know.’

“I should probably go.” You didn’t dare to meet his eyes.

He let go of your hand, palm still outstretched. “Yeah, probably.”

The soundcheck had run by with few hiccups, Shawn asking you to adjust your amp a few times and approving of the acoustic version of one of Alessia’s songs. He all asked it politely, as if nothing happened in the last twenty-four hours. The same went for the concert: the crowd was amazing, as per usual, and that solo that you had always done with Shawn felt like nothing but pure tension. He looked at you in a way that showed he was trying to restrain himself and you doubted you looked any different.

“Did he say anything else to you after the show?” Alessia asked from your bed. You had finally gotten a hotel room together, and it was nice to have her there and to keep your mind off things. 

Wiping the pink eyeshadow and mascara lining your eyes, you muttered, “No, God, it’s like the worst feeling ever. It feels like he hates me, and he’s already so disconnected.” You threw your makeup wipe in the bathroom trash can, “He didn’t say a word, didn’t come to my dressing room like he always does. I feel like I’m losing him.” You glared at yourself in the mirror, steadying your body with two arms on the counter.

“Sweetheart, I’m sure he’s just as confused. Shawn needs some time to sort himself out, too.” You left the bathroom and joined her on the bed, groaning as you got under the covers.

“That’s the problem! He’s not confused. He knows what he wants and he told me he’d wait for my decision!” You aggressively turned to face her on your pillow.

Alessia turned herself to face you, the lamp behind her illuminating her outline, “What are you so scared of?” Her eyes were warm, and her hand ran up and down your arm.

“That I’ll ruin everything. What if we don’t work and then they’ll have to get a new band member because I messed it up?” Your eyes shifted from her to the threading of the covers.

Alessia sighed, “I know that can’t be all of it. What’re you hiding? Tell me.”

You knew the answer. It tugged at the back of your mind relentlessly. “I guess, I-I’m scared to love him. And for him to love me,” you replied, forcing yourself to accept it. You brought a hand up to your lip, tearing away at the skin. “I’ve been hurt before.”

Her mouth hinted at a smile, “Shawn would never hurt you. I know him, and I know that you’ve told me a little about your relationships, and you don’t need to tell me about them if you don’t want to.”

“I love you, A.” Your eyes began to flutter closed, the day’s exhaustion creeping up on you.

She shook you, making your eyes pop open, “I love you too. Now get out of my bed, you move around too much when you sleep.”

You had arrived home for two days, the tour coming to a stall for Shawn’s birthday. He had invited you to the party, and it had been the first time he’d spoken to you outside of a group for a few days. Now that you were safely home, you unsurely said that you would come, it being that you only lived twenty minutes away from him (you seriously wondered how you’d never played for him before). 

Arriving home felt strange. It was too quiet. When you’d set your keys down, everything was silent save for the storm raging outside. Toronto was refusing to be sunny for the time being. There weren’t any of Kit’s jokes causing everyone to laugh hysterically or scold him, none of Simon’s practicing sounding through the room, Alessia’s humming and drumming on any surface she could find, and especially none of Shawn’s laughter. Even when it was awkward between you two, you could always hear it, warm and broad coming from the back of the bus, or in a practice room. 

You had started to long for a pet, but you never wanted them to have to deal with your life of traveling. It might as well have belonged to your parents.

The first thing you did was raid the fridge for any food, and since you were gone for nearly five months, all you could see were bottles of ketchup and coffee creamer (which had definitely gone bad). Groaning, you pushed yourself away from the kitchen and grabbed your shoes from the front door, putting them on to walk down the block to your favorite pizza place. 

The healthiness of tour always gave you terrible cravings for junk food, and you basked in the glory of eating it twenty-five minutes later and laying on your couch in a food coma. A show you watched three times already played in the background, familiar voices and dialogue comforting you.

Your parents were enjoying their retirement, and were off exploring the Mediterranean, so no one familiar to your life before tour had been available. It was hard to make friends when you were gone for most of the year, but you still had a few, all of which were busy the same weekend you were home.

Everything felt terrible.

It was like you were crashing from a months-long high, unsettled by old surroundings and the quiet. So, you did what you always did when you felt lonely, tired, and overall miserable. Slowly, you got up from the couch and moved to your room, opening the drawer on the right side of your desk. You grabbed your notebook, a faded gray color with your first initial embroidered on the top right side. Taking a pen from your desk, you began to write incoherent sentences, different thoughts strung together in a way that didn’t make sense. It was strange to be back at your desk. Oftentimes, you wrote there whenever you were home from tours. It felt nostalgic to you. As your mind began to focus on one subject, you wrote pages and pages, completely unaware of time passing you.

The night in the bus kept replaying in your head, and Alessia’s words to you, and Shawn’s face looking at you onstage. It was like all you could think of was him. Every time you tried to change the subject you wrote about, it rooted back to him. Frustrated, you squinted your eyes and rubbed them. It was dark in your room. You hadn’t even noticed that three hours had passed. 

A forceful sigh left your lips. You got up from the chair, legs stiff and your head pounding. Moving to the bathroom connected to your room, you stepped into the shower, making the water scalding hot until it felt like your back was being burned. 

You sat and curled your knees to your body, crouching down to the floor of the shower, head hung in between your legs. Your hair blocked all light from entering, and it was like you were sucked into a trance of the endless beating of water on your back. All that was left was the steady rhythm of your breath. None of the day’s -correction- month’s stresses came to mind, and for once, your head was clear.

Shawn’s condo was really nice. It was spacious and open, with modern accents here and there in every room. You liked more of a cozy vibe, but each space still looked pleasing to the eye. There were too many people to count: some familiar faces and most unfamiliar. Bodies clashed together, music blasting, and some people chatted in corners with drinks in their hands. Not one for drinking all too much, you spotted a cooler that had soda in it near the door to the balcony. Popping the can open, you looked out the glass door. From there you could see the skyline, stars twinkling in the familiar pattern you had memorized long ago.

Your eyes scanned the room for Alessia. She didn’t text you yet, which means she was probably caught in traffic. Being completely honest with yourself, you questioned why you even came to the party in the first place. It wasn’t cool for Shawn to see your face and you to blow him off again. You knew you shouldn’t string him along, but something beckoned you in the back of your mind that told you you should stay.

It seemed like every two seconds you bumped into someone as you arrived at the edge of the balcony, a glass fence keeping you from tripping over the edge. There were laughs and screams and singing, and bass reverberated through the floor, rattling in your feet. Your stomach clenched as you drank the sweet soda; it did not agree with your already nervous stomach. Setting it down on the ground, you returned to looking at the skyline, not bothering to search for anyone you knew. 

“You made it.”

Looking at him just made your chest hurt even more. He was tipsy, you could tell from his blush and glazed-over eyes. Swallowing, you said softly, “Yeah.”

“Uh, d-you like the party?” His hair flopped in curls around his forehead as he gestured around himself. 

You nodded, “Mm, yeah. It’s great.” You cleared your throat, an awkward pause ensuing.

 “You know what? Okay, I’m just gonna tell you what’s on my mind because I’m a shitty person and a terrible bandmate and a whatever-other-adjective that connotes horrible friend,” Shawn stared at you, confused by your sudden flurry of words. “Continue?” You asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.” He gripped his drink in one hand and the other settled onto the ledge of the fence. 

“Alright. So, I shouldn’t have let you kiss me on the bus.” Shawn opened his mouth, then closed it as you stared him down, “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want to. Like, really bad. It’s just that I told myself after I dated a band member a long time ago that I would never do it again because it was the worst heartbreak of my life. And I can’t really talk about it right now.

“But then you were so nice to me and one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I hated ignoring you and avoiding you and doing all those things to keep myself from falling in love with you-” Your breath hitched as you realized what you just said. It didn’t imply you were falling in love with him, though. Shawn’s jaw clenched, but you further explained, “And you helped me on planes, and let me dump all my stresses onto you in the five months that we’ve known each other, and I feel like we can tell each other everything!

“And I’ve been writing songs! God, that’s one thing I’ve really done in my life. But it’s the only way to settle my thoughts and it keeps me from going insane. Because you, you make me go insane, Shawn.” You let out a deep breath, scared to see his face. 

He was smiling, and it felt like you were on that stage with him again, or in the bus with him, watching Spider-Man while everyone groaned that it was the tenth time you did, or listening to music on the plane, or sharing a chocolate chip cookie that you had snuck onto the bus without Kit seeing. It was like the five months you had shared together had been encapsulated into one look on his face.

Suddenly, Shawn grabbed your hand, “Come with me, right now.” He pulled you through crowds of people, and you wondered where he could possibly be taking you. A tug gripped your stomach, unwilling to stop, your blood pumping to your ears. You didn’t know where the hallways of his place led to. Finally, he went through the kitchen and to the hallway, down to the last door in the dark space. His hand was warm in your cold one, chapped knuckles being smoothed down by his touch. He smelled like alcohol and the outside but you didn’t mind. 

When he opened the door it was still dark, but as he shut it, he turned on the light inside, and you were mesmerized by his own tiny studio. A grand piano sat in the corner with mics hooked up next to it, and guitars lined the walls. A set of drums was close to you in the left corner. A desk on the right side held a computer and a soundboard. On a little wooden extension next to the desk lay a pile of notebooks, and Shawn led you to them, standing close to you as he handed you the second one under the pile of three. It was brown, with frayed edges and yellow pages on the inside. “Open to where the bookmark is,” He instructed. You pulled it out, it being the same color as the journal.

There, on the page was a messy script, cursive and so recognizable to you. You could read it, even through the rough erase marks and crossing outs on the page. Slowly, you started to read what the words said, formed into a song.

she’s here with me, and it’s like i can’t move

she’s next to me, and it’s like i can’t speak

she takes my hand, and i’ve awoken

but then when she leaves i feel broken

and i love the way she talks

and hate the way that she doesn’t want me to hear it

avoiding me and i have no idea why

because i just want to love her more than any other guy

drowning, drowning in everything she does

drowning, reaching just for her touch

and if she says one word

i’ll be breathing again

i’ll be breathing again

but without her, i question if i’ll feel this way about someone else again, and i know i can’t

“There’s a lot more,” Shawn said, and he was behind you now, watching you read his words from your shoulder. “You don’t have to read it all, though.”

You turned to him, inches away, his nose level with your eyes. “Why would you write this about me?” You set the book down on the table, looking back up from your shoes.

“Because,” He said, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I’m in love with you. We’re not even anything, and here I am, telling you that I can’t stop writing about you either because I’m in love with you, and I feel like I have since that first night of tour.” 

You were so close at this point, you could feel his breath when he sighed, moving his hands to your waist, unsure of his touch as they faltered along the hem of your jeans. It was like staring at him for eternity, looking into his amber eyes and feeling the hair on the nape of his neck. “Shawn, you’re not saying this all ‘cause you’ve drank, right?”

He laughed, surprised, “No, I’ve felt this forever. I think this was the catalyst, though,” He leaned his forehead against yours and shut his eyes. His eyelashes curled perfectly against his flushed face, dark brown on pink.

“Okay, good, because I think I want this.”

“You think?”

You nodded, “I know I do.” 

That was enough for him to tighten his hold around you, pulling you in for a sweet, slow kiss. He tasted bitter, beer on his lips, but all you were focused on was the fact that he was here with you. He was here with you, and a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and suddenly you weren’t so afraid anymore. You weren’t scared that he would break your heart. Because if he did, it would be mutual, in the most sadistic way of thinking of it. But you didn’t concern yourself with those thoughts for any longer as he parted from you, lips swollen already.

“Shawn?” You said again.

“Yeah?” He repeated.

“Happy birthday.”

“Shawn!” You giggled as he pushed you into his hotel room, shutting the door behind him. His face was flushed, yours too as he kept one arm hooked around his waist, kissing a line up your neck to your lips, “Shawn, hey, we can’t do this right now, we have to go to dinner!” Another chorus of giggles followed as he began to kiss a spot that made you ticklish. You had gone back on the road and a few days had passed since Shawn’s birthday.

“Dinner can wait,” He said, his lips on your skin muffling his voice. He had changed into some sweats and a black hoodie quickly after the concert, but his hair still smelled salty from the show. You, on the other hand, hadn’t even changed. Your jacket and black boots were thrown on the floor, but you still wore the dark green tank top you had on and black flannel pants. 

Shawn began to pull your ponytail loose, letting your hair cascade around you, and he brought his eyes to yours, moving you to the wall. “When will we tell them?” You asked Shawn, his pupils blown so much you could barely see his irises. The pause let you push a curl back off his forehead, your hand settling on his neck.

“I dunno, when do you feel like it?” He asked, “Because I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Let’s not take it too fast. Maybe another week?” You questioned, and he settled his hand on your waist, another on the wall behind you.

Shawn sighed, moving his mouth to your ear, whispering, “So we’re gonna sneak around? It’ll be our secret?” His breath was hot on your neck. You shivered.

“If you want it to be.”

“How exciting,” You could practically hear him smirk as he settled his lips back onto yours hotly. He groaned and you pushed him closer to you, almost tearing at his curls. Your face was burning now, and you could feel him push up against you painfully. In protest, he moved his face away from yours.

Your senses came back to you, overstimulated, “I should shower.”

Shawn nodded, “Okay. Let’s go.” 

You rolled your eyes, moving your hand to his, “A little too eager, huh?”

He didn’t answer you and just wrapped his arm around the small of your back, bringing you to the wall adjacent to the bathroom, settling himself between your legs. You got lost in him, consumed by the salty scent and mint shampoo and the burning tongues and icy touches on your skin. 

You heard the lock on his door begin to beep, and you jumped, his hand covering your mouth. It would’ve been attractive to you if you hadn’t considered the situation. “Hey!” Kit called from outside. “Can I come in?” The door began to crack open, and Shawn stretched his other hand to it, shutting it while one stayed on your lips.

“Um, no, I-I’m naked!” He replied, and your eyes widened at what he just implied.

“Oh, um, sorry man, didn’t mean to interrupt your momen-”

Shawn shook his head, ears turning pink, “Not like that! I’m gonna go into the shower!” His words came out of his mouth all at once, panicked. 

Kit nervously laughed, “Ohh! Alright, well, we’re leaving for dinner in ten.”

“M’kay,” His hand moved off your mouth, and you pushed yourself off the wall, “I’ll be down soon.”

“Alright, I’ll go tell Sticks,” You could hear his footsteps sounding down the hall. 

Your eyes widened, and you frantically thought of how you were gonna get there in time. You’d just go up the stairs, but it had to be fast. Shawn turned to you, “We’re not done with this,” He grinned, “‘Kay?”

You nodded, “I’ll make it up to you, promise,” and you felt a smile tug at your lips as you pecked his lips, grabbing your jacket and boots off the floor. You heard him laugh as you ran out the door in your socks, close to the stairway. Before you opened the door to the stairway, you saw him peeking his head out of his room.

“Fuck off.” You chuckled.

“What? I like looking at your backside.”

You rolled your eyes, flipping him off as you started to run up the stairway.

“You and Shawn seem good,” Alessia called from above you. You were in your bunk below her, a sleeping Simon and Kit opposite you. Both of you didn’t sleep well on the bus and often ended up talking. Shawn was in the back in his room, probably waiting for him to text you.

You moved on your back so you could see her peeking head in the blue-lighted darkness. “Yeah, um, we’ve settled our feelings.” You weren’t sure if you should tell her, even though you knew she wouldn’t say a word to anyone else.

“‘Settled your feelings?’ Is that a codeword for something?” You could hear her shift on her side and watched as she propped her head up on her hand.

Your breath hitched, but you fought against the tension in your chest. Fear. “Keep it to yourself for the time being, A, but we’re yes, we’re together.” 

“Yes! Ooh, how sneaky, keeping it a secret!” She sounded exactly like Shawn.

“It’s not like that, we just don’t want to cause drama, but we’ll probably tell everyone soon. We wanted one week at least.” You put your arms behind your head, covering yourself with your blanket. 

“To not tell anyone?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

It was silent, but Alessia broke it, “I’ve never seen him happier. You’re good for him, and he’s good for you.” 

“How is he good for me?” You ask, curious. Your phone buzzed at that moment, and you grabbed it, reading the message. Can you come here please? It was from Shawn.

“You calm each other. You think the same way and know how to comfort whatever you’re stressing about, I mean, I saw it before you were together. I just got the feeling it was more than that now. And when you talk about anything creative it’s like no one’s around.” She responded. You began to smile, and tore the sheets off your bed. “Where are you going?” You could see her face now, her hair tied back and a big sweater covering her.

“I’ll be back,” you stated, and she just wiggled her eyebrows at you. “What?”

She laughed softly, “Don’t come back too soon.”

“Shut up.” You replied, unable to keep the grin off your face. Tiptoeing down the bus hallway, you made it to the back where Shawn was. His room wasn’t big, and mostly was just a bed with a tiny space to walk next to. Opening the door, you walked in, the room only illuminated by the passing streetlights. They flashed yellow, so you could occasionally see Shawn’s form laying in the bed, back to you.

Moving to him, you carefully edged your way to the side, scared to fall from the moving bus. “Hi,” You said, and he turned around, eyes opening. They looked worried, and continued to as he moved to the wall next to the bed, letting you crawl in beside him. 

You propped your head on the pillow, staring at his face, illuminated yellow every few seconds. His eyes and messy hair glittered with the lights, but soon you hit a stretch of darkness from your surroundings outside. “Hey,” He replied as you felt his leg wrap around yours.

“What’s wrong?” You asked. You moved your hand to the halo of curls around his head, smoothing them back. He shut his eyes, breathing softly out of his mouth.

“I’m scared,” He said, “I feel like a fraud sometimes. Like I’m not good enough to have the life I have, and I feel like I can’t breathe when I think about it too hard.” You could see his eyes watering and see the restraint he held when trying not to cry. 

You shook your head, “I’ve felt that way too many times to count. I believe that you’re here, on this earth, for a reason. If you weren’t good enough to have the life you have, you wouldn’t bring so much joy to the people who love you and look up to you,” You calmly moved your hand to his cheek, wiping the tear pooled at his eye, “Whenever you feel that anxiety come in, take a deep breath and say, ‘I’m here for a reason. I matter.’”

He repeated after you, “I’m here for a reason. I matter.” You nodded, pulling him close to you and letting his head lie in the crook of your neck. You ran circles along his back, feeling him clutch onto your waist. “Where did you learn how to do that?” He asked, voice muffled.

A tug came to your lips, “My dad said the same thing to me when I had my shows.”

“He sounds amazing,” He whispered, “I want to meet him. Your mom, too.”

You chuckled softly, “Give it a few more weeks, rock star.”

He kissed your shoulder, bodies intertwined. Eventually, his breathing slowed and became more even, and you heard Alessia’s voice in your head; You calm each other. Somehow you got the feeling that no matter what happened you would always be there for him, and he would always be there for you. With those thoughts, your mind settled and you felt the warmth of sleep take you in gently.

Two Months Later

Everyone on tour knew about you and Shawn now, and nobody ever protested it. They all were happy for you both. Life had become easier as you adjusted your already similar schedules: waking up next to him was a dream, though the two of you hadn’t taken things farther than that. It never came up now that you were moving across countries and continents each day, exhausted and sleeping as soon as you got in the hotel room. 

Alessia was gone, and it felt not completely whole on tour without her. You totally loved Dan and Shay, but the two of you created such a bond that you often found yourself turning to your side to tell her something or laugh with her when she wasn’t even there. Missy had come, making Shawn’s life much easier with her incredible organization skills.

Today was going to be a fantastic day, you thought to yourself as you stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was Halloween, and you didn’t think there was another better celebration than having a Halloween show in Melbourne. The fans in the Oceania part of the tour were like something out of a movie. The crowd felt unreal there.

Pulling the towel from your head, your hair fell down around your shoulders. Tonight everyone was going in costume, wearing 80s clothes, and you were delighted. The frantic colors and patterns were fun to wear, so you already began to change into your mom jeans, multi-colored striped top, and yellow bomber jacket. 

In less than twenty minutes, your hair was away from your face, in a crimped ponytail with a scrunchie and you wore yellow eyeshadow that rimmed your eyes with heavy mascara. Halloween was so exciting to you, and you honestly missed getting dressed up.

“You ready, love?” You could hear Shawn open the door to your room, and he walked into the bathroom, grinning when he saw your face. “I love it. You look totally rad! That’s what they said, right? Rad?”

You laughed, watching him at the door in the reflection of the mirror. He wore a multi-colored bomber jacket and some cargo pants with a neon headband, and he looked so happy. His lips were rosy, and you replied, “I’m pretty sure, don’t ask me though, I’m not that old.”

“You’re older than me.” He added.

You stuck your tongue out at him, “By one year.” You began to put your makeup brushes away, and paused, “Do you want to wear some eyeliner? It might look cool.” You held the black pen in front of your face.

“Sure, let’s try it,” He moved to the counter and stood in front of the sink, facing you. You held his chin in one palm while your steady hand brushed along the rim of his eye. “It feels weird,” he said in discomfort.

“You get used to it.” 

“You look so concentrated, it’s really cute.” He moved away from the eyeliner as you finished, setting it down on the counter. Snaking his arms around you, you settled your head against his sternum, feeling the solid-ness of him. “Let’s get going before Missy accuses us of ‘fooling around.’”

You felt a smile tug at your lips. “That woman talks like an old lady, I swear.”

He let go of you, “Don’t tell her that.”

Shawn’s leg kicks during Jesse’s Girl were absolutely adorable, you thought as the concert wrapped up. You, Kit, and Simon had thought up a dramatic introduction for him to come out of the stage on and it fit really well with the performance. 

Several hours later, you were on the plane, moving to the tour’s next location. Your flight anxiety was worse this time around, bad turbulence making you nauseous. Shawn had pressed your palms into his and rubbed your neck soothingly for what seemed like forever, and it wasn’t until the last two hours of the flight that he fell asleep. You felt bad for keeping him awake, but welcomed his sleepy head on your shoulder and the arm that fell across from you gladly. 

With your free arm (his arm kept your left one pinned down) you wrote some lyrics down in a notebook Alessia had given you on her last day of tour. It was a simple, black leather bound notebook, with yellow-ish lined pages. All you could write about were the same few themes: a feeling of falling, and then getting pulled back into someone’s grasp, or feeling so happy you were unsure it would last, lastly your main theme, of course; so many of the lyrics had been for the boy sleeping on you at the exact same time. Alessia told you to write down those feelings and keep them recorded so that one day you could look back on them, and smile at what you’d done and accomplished in your life.

Shawn had begun to stir from his sleep, mumbling incoherent words as he gripped the blanket on the both of you. You moved your hand, running it along his scalp calmly, “I love you,” you said, surprising yourself with what you just whispered to him. You had kept it in for so many months, terrified of coming to terms with it. Your lips trembled, scared to see his facial expression. 

His face was still unmoving with sleep, and you felt a breath come out of you. He didn’t hear you. But was that what you wanted? For him not to know how much you loved him?

December

Your apartment looked much less lonely now that Christmas decor had been almost bombarded on every surface; there were twinkly lights across your windows and on your kitchen counters, holiday pillows swapped for regular ones, and a white, red, and gold tree shining next to your couch. The cold time of year always made you the happiest, and you felt this elation course through your body almost every day.

A soft blanket and a mug of coffee kept you warm while you watched old cartoons on your tv, feeling nostalgic. Shawn was cooking in the kitchen while you rested. Lately, it seemed like the two of you barely spent a day apart, and it was hard for you to get anything done around him when all you wanted to do was be next to him. That’s what the holidays were for, you reminded yourself. It was easy to get swept up in a world of productivity. 

A smell of something savory wafted into the living area, and you turned your head away from the television to look at your boyfriend. He domestically had a rag on his shoulder while the sizzle of something sauteing in a pan and the chopping of a knife made you ask, “What’re you making?”

“It’s a secret,” You could see him grin as he moved to the fridge.

“You didn’t need to make anything,” You added.

He shrugged, turning his head to you, “I wanted to have a nice dinner with you tonight, and plus, you said we could watch Harry Potter, so this is my thank you.” You giggled, turning back to the screen to watch Charlie Brown having a snowball fight with his dog.

In a half-hour, plates were set on your seasonally-decorated dining table, and glasses of wine were filled for the two of you. Putting the utensils down next to each of your plates, Shawn sauntered up to the table and dramatically set down the serving plate, steaming with food. “Roasted chicken, sauteed with onions and vegetables,” Shawn grinned, looking at you expectantly as if he were on a cooking competition show. “Dessert is also a surprise.”

It tasted delicious; he really knew his way around the kitchen. Shawn blushed every single time you complemented the food, quite adorably, and soon enough the both of you had changed the subject to the Harry Potter movie you were going to watch.

“Okay, but the third is such a classic! It has the Marauders stuff happening and Lupin and it’s my favorite!” Shawn argued while the two of you gathered up your plates, walking to the sink. 

You shrugged, “Yes, but the fourth has the Triwizard Tournament, and we can’t forget about Cedric Diggory!”

Shawn snorted, “That’s because you have a weird obsession with Robert Pattinson, and you know it!” You laughed along with Shawn, unable to make a retort because you knew he was completely correct.

You gave in, opening the dishwasher, “Alright, alright, but we’re watching the fourth one soon.”

“M’kay, Bella Swan.”

You scoffed, slapping him with a dishrag, “How dare you compare me to her! She has the personality of a piece of paper!” He doesn’t reply, and just watches as you try to hide your giggles. There’s a strange silence and you can almost hear the ambience of the holidays in your ears.

Shaking his head, Shawn blurts, “I love you,” he said affectionately, almost as if he didn’t hear it, continuing to wash off the plates. He pauses, looking at you and coming to his senses, realizing what he said.

He hadn’t said it since his birthday. You hadn’t said it at all, save for that night on the plane, but he wasn’t even awake. But somehow you felt an overwhelming feeling come over you, and on instinct you replied, “I love you too.” 

Shawn takes his hands away from the sink. “You do?” His face looks vulnerable, and a hand reaches out to stabilize himself on the counter. All you can do is nod. “Yeah?” He questions again, and you set your rag down on the counter, taking his face in your palms and kissing him as passionately as you can.

The two of you part, “Yeah, I do. ‘Guess I was too scared to say it ‘till now.” You reply as his arms loop around your waist.

“Why would you be scared?” He brings your body closer to him.

“When I love people, I’m scared of losing them,” You mutter under your breath, but he heard you anyway. 

He pushes a piece of hair behind your ear, “You’re never going to lose me,” His eyes darken, almost looking pained as he brings his lips to yours again, and you get lost in the taste of him, the smell of him. You can feel his arms slide from your waist to your thighs, and he hikes you up onto the counter. Your fingers rake across his scalp, feeling the heat coming off of his neck, coursing through his body. “I promise.” He says, a pause between kissing you.

The smell of cinnamon and linen welcomes you as he carries you into your bedroom, the curtains shut and the city lights streaming through the bedroom. There’s a lamp on your bedside table, emanating a warm glow. You feel his frame crawl over you, and it’s like the two of you are in a movie. Perfect, cold-weathered lighting, the smell of Christmas, and the hot-and-cold prickly feeling that comes when you pull off your sweater. His face is flushed, rosy cheeks and lashes feathering his cheekbones. He looks at you carefully, almost lost in thought.

You bring your face to his, meticulously playing at the seams of his shirt, kissing him slowly and softly. You can hear a soft moan come from his lips, setting you on your back as he touches what seems like every nerve in your body. “I love you.” He repeats for what seems like forever, almost like he wants you to believe it absolutely. 

And you want him to believe it, too, trading the same three words over and over again until you fall asleep holding each other. Strangely, when sleep comes and you’re in your dreams, an old Greek myth that your father told you comes to mind. When pairs of people were one, they didn’t need any other person. They were attached to each other. But when Zeus, King of the Gods separated them, those people, the human race, spent their entire lives looking for their other half. They needed to be with each other so they could be complete. 

When you wake up for a moment, lost in the thought of the myth, you look up and see Shawn, curly hair messy and his head in the crook of your neck. You think of the pairs, needing each other to survive. He never lets go. 

[nightowlfandom]

Kim Taehyung- Amor Fabula~Sound Of Heart (ALSO 200th POST, WEEEE)

Alrighty my friends! Let’s skip the casual talk and hop right into it! Once again this is part of the Amor Fabula Saga over on the @btswriterscorner​ blog.

Bro...life has been kicking my ass and it’s literally killing me on the inside like wow why does Earth hate me right now?...but Ima push that aside to get this deadline done.

Let’s begin. (I felt like changing it up from ‘leggo’)

...

It was foreign to him. He didn’t know what it meant let alone how to feel it. He walls were so high up, they could rival the gates of heaven. No one knew why. What had hurt him to the point where he was so angry at the very idea of love, or even companionship?

You were the opposite. Not only were you in love with the idea of love, but you seemed to attract it in more ways than one. Whether from your friends, or even random strangers. Even if you had none of those things, the word just seemed to radiate off you like heat radiated off the sun.

With all that being said, make no mistake. You weren’t interested in trying to fix a broken man. You already had yourself to worry about. Who were you to try to love a man who hated the word almost as much as he seemed to hate himself? Who was he to fool himself into thinking anyone could care for him?

These are the questions that need to be answered in today’s world.

...

You were walking down the halls of the office building, staring down at your phone. Deleting emails required a whole other level of focus. You could barely muster an audible hello to the front desk woman who seemed to be in her own little world as well.

“Y/N! “ your work friend, Yuna rushed to your side.

“Hm?” you mumbled, looking up from your phone. You lowered the device and put it in your pocket. “What’s up?” You were on your way to the lounge room when she ran up. She looked a hot mess. Hair sticking up in strange places, sweating bullets, and you were sure she had hauled herself over traffic by foot just to tell you the news.

“It’s The chairman’s son!” she managed to get out.

“What about the chairman’s son?” You curiously raised an eyebrow. “Is he in town to tell us that we’re all trash and should be fired?”

“No, not Duke. The youngest one!”

“You mean...Taehyung? His adoptive son, right??” you raised an eyebrow, just to make sure you and her were on the same page. “The chairman has so many children I don’t even keep count.”

“Yes! He’s the new CEO!” she looked both pissed off and absolutely mortified. “ I just saw him fire Rai and Sera in front of everybody!”

“I would think you’d be excited for that. You hate them. “ You huffed, not really seeing what she was on about. “Like last week you were talking about how you wished Sera would literally get hit by a train.”

“Okay but he sent the both of them out crying! Like he was so harsh it wasn’t even funny enough for me to crack a smile.” she explained.

That was when you realized she was absolutely serious. “Wait...The chairman really stepped down?” you paused. “The original chairman, I mean. I thought he was going into-”

“Change of plans.” she knew exactly what you were going to say. “The chairman insisted. Apparently he’s an old man and all his companies need someone to watch over them while he focuses on his retirement. Taehyung was the first person to offer.”

“Yuna, are you for real?” you grabbed her shoulders. “Be serious.”

“Yes!” she nodded quickly. “Taehyung just sent an email that he’s making cuts to every department!” she looked like she was about to freak out. “I can’t get fired! I’ve worked so hard Y/N!”  She looked like she was about to cry and you didn’t like that at all.

“Yuna, calm down! I’m sure the chairman wouldn’t allow that.” you shook your head. “Just because he’s boss now doesn’t mean he can get rid of us.”

“Y/N I love your optimism but you don’t know that for sure.” Yuna looked unsure. “I mean look at us, he’s probably gonna turn this place into a warehouse and just work us all to death! I’m not some kind of puppet! WE’RE GONNA TURN INTO SLUDGE. SLUDGE DOES NOT LOOK GOOD IN HIGH HEELS.”

“Listen, Yuna. I’m not gonna let that daddy’s boy fire you or me. He’ll have to say it to my face before I let him say it to yours.” you seethed.

“Is that so?”

You and Yuna both froze in place.

‘He behind me isn’t he?’ You whispered. She slowly nodded, which made you grumble profanities under your breath. You whipped around and saw the daddy’s boy himself.

“You must be Y/N...you were always my father’s favorite.” he crossed his arms. “I can’t see why.”

“Excuse me?” you put a hand on your hip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly how it sounds Miss. L/N. My father speaks highly of both you and your friend but from what I’ve seen, those accolades are undeserved and could very much be replaced by those who are more qualified, wouldn’t you say?”

Now you were aware of what was going on. He was trying to rile you up. It was working...but not well enough.

“Well..Mr.Kim.” you sighed, straightening out your shoulders. “ I’m sorry you feel that way.” you bowed respectfully. “I’ll make sure to do better to prove to you that I’m a worthy member of the new team you end up building...Yuna, are you coming?” you went to walk past him, Yuna on your tail.

“I think you made him mad!”

“Good, people like him are better off that way anyways. He might be the new boss but as long we we’re in the same age group, he has no power over me. Fuck his rules.”

“Y/N, you don’t know who Taehyung is do you? Like what he does?”

“Not really and I can’t say I care too much.” you scoffed. ‘Why?”

“Kim Taehyung is the current president of the Lottery division for the government.” Yuna stopped you two from walking. “You know that thing where your parents are in charge of giving you a new husband?”

“Yeah? But I haven’t spoken to my parents in 3 years...you know this.” you narrowed your eyebrows at her. Your parents were a touchy subject and you hated talking about them. “What does that have to do with the anything?”

“If your parents don’t decide...HE does.” she emphasized. “Seriously do you even watch the news?”

“No.” you shook your head. “It’s depressing and stupid.” you huffed. “I don’t exactly follow politic either.”

“Well you need to start. Police officers, corrupt politicians...they got nothing on that guy. He’s the most feared man in this government because the population depends on him. I heard he made his ex who cheated on him marry a convicted felon.”

“Then why would he take the role of CEO for a company that has nothing to do with the government?”

“...So he can see whose life he wants to ruin first...either that, or he’s planning something big and needs a time waster like working for a small company like this one.”

You didn’t flinch...at least not on the outside. Yeah you knew about the Sweep Lottery, you just hated thinking about it. You were hoping you could avoid it until the time came. Guess that plan wasn’t going to work.

...

It wasn’t even half a year with Taehyung as the new head of the company and everyone was already miserable! You all were being worked to the bone and you were positive a few team members had quit. 5 months of being yelled at and ridiculed for no reason other than the fact that he was your boss.

“Who does he think he is!” Yuna snapped. “And we can’t even talk to the chairman! He’s in Hawaii for the weekend.”

“He’s literally going to run what Mr. Kim had worked so hard to build into the ground. I can’t stand him!” another friend, Rina kicked back another shot of who knew what. It definitely wasn’t soju. “I swear if I was allowed to, I’d run him over.”

“You guys I don’t like this anymore than you do but-”

“YOU JERK!” You were cut off when a high-pitched scream ripped through the small restaurant. You, Rina, and Yuna all turned to the commotion. A girl was getting ready to throw a drink at someone, but not just anyone.

“Is that Taehyung?!” Rina managed to get the words out through her drunken hiccups. Rina was right, Taehyung was at the receiving end of all that commotion. He just stood there with a partially amused look on his face as the girl ran off screaming at the top of her lungs.

“How much you guys wanna bet he steals baby kittens in his freetime?” you mumbled. Taehyung must have heard your laughing because he turned towards your group. While you and Rina laughed amongst yourselves, Yuna held up her glass in a ‘cheers’ motion as she also held up the middle finger with her free hand.  He looked as if he genuinely couldn’t care less until his eyes landed on yours. All you could do was make a heartbreak motion with your hands as your turned back towards your friends. Serves him right.

As the night carried on, you and your friends carried on too. You decided you all drank enough for the night as just made time to enjoy yourselves. You couldn’t help but think of what happened earlier with Taehyung though. That girl just technically embarrassed him and he brushed it off. It made you wonder exactly what he was hiding. Or why he didn’t care.

...

You were now sitting at the bar by yourself. Yuna had taken Rina’s drunk ass home and you hung behind just to gather your thoughts to yourself. If Yuna was right. It just made him look like a huge jerk.

“Bet you thought that was funny, did you?”

You turned around and saw Taehyung standing behind you.

“Absolutely.” you replied honestly. “Side splittingly hilarious.” you said in monotone, lifting your drink to your lips. “Let me guess...a girlfriend of yours?”

“I don’t exactly see you here with a boyfriend.” he rolled his eyes. “Can I sit?”

“Relationships are useless in this country. Go ahead.” you sighed. “...sucks doesn’t it?” you giggled.

“Yeah.” he grumbled. “Mind if I drink?”

You figured since you weren’t at work, you could hold off on hating his guts for a while. You handed your full glass over to him. You stared at him as he took a sip of the liquor.  

“Fuck...” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Be honest with me, am I an asshole?”

“Yes.” you answered quickly. “A huge festering, fissuring, painfully obvious asshole.”

“Right.” he sighed, sliding the glass over to you. “Figured as such. I can set people up but can’t seem to find myself a mate.”

“Well are you looking for a wife or a baby-maker.” you scoffed, causing him to laugh. “Whatever works for you, I guess.” you shrugged. “You are the one who calls the shots. Someone else could always do it for you.”

“Don’t remind me.” he glared. “Really, don’t.” he hiccuped. “I can’t even talk to a woman without her wanting to kill me. Half the time I’m not even the one doing the Sweep.”

“Like that girl from earlier?”

“No...and she wasn’t my girlfriend either. She threw her drink at me because I appointed her sister to marry boyfriend that apparently was hers.”

“Harsh.” you laughed. “Well, you only have yourself to blame. Taking love and happiness from others must be so tiring you joked.”

You suddenly noticed a lot of people in the bar were glaring potholes into Taehyung’s head. The looks they gave you varied on the pity spectrum. It was easy to see that Taehyung wasn’t the most popular man in town. It must have gave them pleasure seeing that girl throw a drink in his face.

“Well if the people of this country know the rules on government mandated marriage, then they should know what they’re getting themselves into before hand.” he rebutted. “....I overheard you and Yuna talking. You said something about your parents.”

“And the fact that I hate them?” you questioned. “Why?”

“Just wondering why you hate them so much.” he shrugged. “If you want to talk about it.

“...I caught my l mother cheating on my father with a younger man when I was young. My mother cheated on him every week and to an extent I even found her with one of my old high school classmates.” you huffed. “My father ran off with his accountant.” you explained. “Then again they hated each other when they got together.” you laughed. “So much for a loving household. That’s just what the lottery sweep does, right?” you jumped to your feet. “Well, I’m out of here.”

“You’re leaving?” he turned to look at you.

“I don’t exactly have a reason to stay here.” you tilted your head the side.

“The bar or...something else.” he trailed off.

“...Yes.” you replied, not really telling him what you were talking about.

...

To say that you were surprised to see Rina blazing mad. She walked up to you, a red envelope in her hand. However she instantly went from being pissed to absolutely defeated.

“He’s done it.” she quivered in her shoes. She thrust the envelope in your hands. “Read it.” she couldn’t even look at you.

“Um...Okay?” you trailed off, growing very concerned.  “Did he fire you?”

“Even worse...just read.”

“ Rina Hiroka, the government is pleased to announce that you have been chosen from the random computer generated list of all the women in the country. You will be engaged to marry...Sung Robin by this time next year?!- Rina you’re kidding me!”

“It’s right there! I got the envelope at my door this morning!” she began to freak out. “I’m only 22! They can’t do that can they?” she asked, taking the envelope back from you.

“....I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out..” you seethed, suddenly recalling what Yuna had told you about Taehyung. “I’m gonna kill that little daddy’s boy executive.” you turned around, walking away from Rina.

“Y/N?....Where are you going!”

“To take the trash out.”

...

You didn’t even knock on the door before entering the office. 

“Y/N L/N what makes you think you think you can just burst into my office without knocking first?”

“What makes YOU think you can just marry off Rina like she’s a piece of meat to some random?!” you spat. 

“You don’t understand my line of work.” he casually turned back towards his computer. “Go back to work L/N.”

“Well guess what, I DO know your line of work. I understand real fucking well.” you scoffed, shutting the door behind you. “You are reeaalllly fucking sad, you know that?”

You insult caused him to stand to his feet. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me! YOU. ARE. SAD. Rina’s 22, she isn’t even out of college yet!” you pointed accusingly. “Yet you’re gonna marry her off? What is wrong with you old ass government creeps. Do you people get off to basically selling young women?”

“Would you be saying this is Rina wasn’t your close friend?” Taehyung laughed harshly. “Hypocrisy is a bad look on you, Y/N.”

“You’re one to talk!” you snapped. “I bet you make sure your friends end up with the girls on their dreams.” you scoffed. 

“Even if I had friends....rules are rules.”

“One, that doesn’t answer my question, and Two, has it ever occured to you that the reason you don’t have friends is because you...hm I don’t know...ruin lives?”

“Like you’re any better!” Taehyung raised his voice even louder. “I bet some of your beliefs are just as fucked up and wrong.”

“...Oh you wanna go there?” you said lowly. “We can go there if you want...I am so ready to go there.”

“Y/N, just listen to me.”

"Don't you understand what you've done!? You've ruined so many lives in the past and you can't even bear to look at yourself because you know just exactly who the hell you are! I'd rather be delusional than a monster who just takes happiness from others despite everyone...and I DO MEAN EVERYONE stating just how fucked up this stupid lotto is! You want to talk about me and my beliefs...at least my beliefs don't come with emotional baggage."

“You don’t think I know that!?” he suddenly snapped. “I know, trust me I do!”

“Then why. you let me know because I’m having trouble seeing your reasoning.” you crossed your arms.

“I do this because my lottery makes sure that infidelity, adultery, all of that bullshit is obliterated.” he responded. “Times had changed since your parent’s lotto rules. My rules establish that all forms of adultery are to be punished.”

“Oh really, adultery? Adultery! There are a lot more things to think about other than adultery.” you mocked. “Does it end there? What about abuse, what about rules that enable child protection,what about rules about the death of a spouse? Did you think about that?”

Taehyung was silent.

“Has it ever occured to you that maybe you are so cynical that the thought of other people’s free will just pisses you off?” you challenged. “You think you’re helping people but in reality you just can’t bear to realize happy marriages exist.”

“Like you’re any better than me? You think you’re so great and pure? Your squeaky clean image with your can-do-no wrong attitude, Y/N.”

“Please.” you scoffed. “If you’re trying to rile me up you’re failing miserably.” you huffed. “You know what, whatever. I’m gonna get your father, also known as the REAL chairman of this company, on the phone and see what he has to say..” you rolled your eyes, beginning to walk past him.

“Y/N wait!” The voice was pleading. It was surprising enough to make you stop. “Please....I’m sorry. But...I just don’t get it...what the hell even is love? Are people just happy? 60% of marriages ended in divorce so obviously whatever was there before...isn’t there five to ten years down the line.”

“That’s a lie.” you looked away.

“....Look at how your parent’s turned out.” he dared to say. You’re glare was harsh, if even possible at this point.

“Listen...You don’t believe in love. I get that. However, is your selfishness really a determining factor in other people’s lives? My family was broken from the beginning.”

“What I want know is why do YOU believe in love. What about this fucking word- this concept is so important to you..” he sighed, walking up to you.

“Why don’t you” you refused to look at him. “Being told who I’m supposed to end up with...tell me Taehyung...would you want that?”

“I’m not the one who has to worry about it.” he said lowly. 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” you found the wits about you to turn around to face him. “Yes or no?”

“...I can’t answer that.”

“Of course you fucking can’t. My parents hated me...they couldn’t stand me, how I was brought into the world. With all of that hate, and resentment in my heart, Love is the only thing I can turn to to keep me sane. My friends love me, my aunts and uncles love me...and yet-” you paused to laugh harshly. “Yet I can’t seek authentic love from someone else? Especially someone who I’m bound to have an ENTIRE ASS CHILD WITH. Love to me...is the closest thing I have to freedom.” you crossed your arms. “And this isn’t freedom...it’s suffocating.” 

“Well good for you...you done?” he feigned boredom, which pissed you off even more. 

“You don’t get it do you?” you said lowly. “And you never will.” you shook your head. “...You know what? I quit!” you yanked off your nametag. You threw it at him, which bounced off his head.

“Y/N! Y/N get back here!” he called after you. 

When you got into the main hallway, you grabbed your purse and made haste for the lobby. Yuna was comforting Rina at the front desk.

“Y/N? Y/N?! Where are you going?” Yuna called after you. 

“I quit.” you mumbled in response, stopping in place. “I can’t work here with him. I just can’t.” you reasoned. 

“So you’re just gonna quit? What are you gonna do?” Rina paused her sobbing session. “I hope you didn’t quit because of me.”

“It isn’t just you.” you shook your head. “It’s him, and his ways on thinking and he-”

“Is walking up right behind you.” Yuna finished. 

“What what I was gonna say, but-AAH!”

You felt something grab your arm and begin to pull you along. Taehyung was walking back in the direction of his office where you came from. 

“Hey! Let me go! This is kidnap! Who do you think you are!?” 

Just like that, you were taken back to his office. You were practically thrown into a chair. “Y’know this defeats the purpose of my quitting if I’m just gonna come right back!” you protested. “What do you want...”

“Teach me how to love.” were his only words. 

“Excuse me?” you raised an eyebrow. “Teach you.”

“Y-yes! Since I’m so heartless and cruel like you think I am so...you’re gonna show me what love is...and how to do it.” his words made you laugh.

“Y-you want me..to show you what love is.” you burst into a fit of laughter. You quickly stopped when you saw he was dead serious. “Oh...you’re being serious?”

“I never kid, Y/N.” he raised an eyebrow. “ Since you seem so intent that I’m just some broken man-”

“I never said you were broken.” you cut him off. 

“You didn’t have to...so you’re going to teach me what love is and if people can really survive with it.” 

“How exactly are we gonna get you to believe in love?”

“We’re gonna get married.”

His words almost made you choke on air. “W-wait! Me and you?! Get married?!” you widened your eyes at his literal proposal. “Hold on a second!”

“We’re gonna live together, sleep in the same bed, and do all the things you’re supposed to do in a marriage and if you can get me to fall in love...and fall hard...then ‘ll get rid of the Sweep Lottery.” 

Now you were interested, not only because you were surprised he had the power to even do that, but because of the deal he was making.

“You have a year.” he didn’t give you time to verify or deny his proposition. “Do you accept?”

“So you really expect to understand the concept of love in 12 months?” you asked honestly. 

“Fine...we’ll be married for two years.” the expression never left his face. “Do you accept?”

You had to marinate on the subject. You have to prove to Taehyung that love was real, in two years. You had to get married to this guy in order to prove a point. Were you that stubborn? Call it selfish, but you were really so desperate to go against this man to prove something. Were you ready to rub such a thing in his face.

“....Bring it on.”

(I meant to post this around 3PM...then life got in the way so you’re getting it at 4:15 as I finish typing)