#3. i think that the first chapter is fine where it left off

[lenievi]

me: feeling a little meh about the current wip and its dialogue

someone leaves comments on all my Kirk/La'an fics

me: 🥰🥰🥰 (someone will like the current wip too; it is fine)

[hershelchocolate]

So many fic ideas I want to write,,,,,,,but no alas I must resist,,,,,,I gotta get SOMETHING going for my graphic novel so I can actually start drawing the thing before I write anything else 😔

BUT ALSO WHAT IF I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THE SILLIES

[stylesispunk]

Silent strain | part iv

outbreak! Joel Miller x f!reader

previous chapter | next chapter

summary: Time passes by and Joel still doesn't come back. The baby arrives and you feel lonely.

w.c: 10,5k

warnings: angst, mentions of birth, fluff, mentions of blood, not proofreading. Paragraphs in bold indicate flashbacks & paragraphs in cursive indicate journal entries. Reader cries a lot in this one, we didn't have a good week.

a/n: chapter four is here! Thank you to everyone who take their time to leave comments and share this story, which was supposed to be only 3 chapters but became longer. I hope you like this one. Reblogs and comments are appreciated. Happy reading. 💌

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

Since you had met Joel, this was the first time you had ever been in a room without him. You were surrounding by walls in a safe place that it was foreign for you, sitting alone on the edge of a bed that you had just shared with Joel the night prior, now feeling impossibly lonely without him around. The weight hit you all at once, the quiet, the loneliness, the reality that Joel had left and you didn’t know if him and Ellie would be alright.

The weight of it hit you all at once, the quiet, the loneliness, the overwhelming reality that Joel had left. That you didn’t know if he and Ellie were alright. If they ever would be. A tight knot formed in your chest, pulling tighter with each passing minute.

Your mind raced, thoughts of where Joel might be gnawing at you. Were they already on the road? Were they safe? Had they run into trouble? You tried to push the thoughts away, tried to convince yourself they were fine, that Joel would protect Ellie like he always had. But the fear lingered, gnawing at you in the quiet of the room.

You stood abruptly, the need to do something, anything, to shake off the growing anxiety driving you to your feet. Pacing around the bedroom, your hands trembled slightly as you ran them through your hair, trying to think, trying to breathe through the tightening in your chest.

But no matter how hard you tried; the worry wouldn’t leave. Each time you circled the room, it felt as though the walls were closing in a little more, trapping you in this unbearable uncertainty.

And then, as you turned again, your eyes landed on something that stopped you cold.

There, on the chair by the window, was Joel’s shirt. Not just any shirt—his favorite one, the one he always wore, the one that had become your favorite too. The sight of it hit you like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath from your lungs. You stepped closer, almost as if in a trance, and your trembling fingers reached out to touch the fabric.

The scent of him still lingered in the material, that familiar mix of worn cotton, faint sweat, and the earthy scent that was unmistakably Joel. The tears that had been building in your chest all day finally broke free, spilling down your cheeks as you clutched the shirt in your hands.

Life in the QZ didn’t leave much room for joy. Every day was a struggle, ration cards barely covering enough food, let alone anything extra. But you had managed to save up just enough to get him something special.

The shirt.

You had seen it hanging in the back of a small booth during one of your shifts at the QZ market. It wasn’t much—faded, a little worn—but it had a softness to it that you thought Joel might appreciate. He never said it out loud, but you could tell his clothes were becoming threadbare, the weight of the world making even the little comforts seem unattainable. You wanted to change that, even in a small way.

The look on his face when you handed it to him had been one of complete confusion, like he didn’t quite know what to do with kindness anymore.

“Why’d you get me this?” Joel had asked, his brow furrowing as he held up the shirt, inspecting it like he thought there was some kind of catch.

You shrugged, trying to play it off casually, but your heart was pounding in your chest. “I just… thought you could use something new. You’ve been wearing the same damn thing since I met you.”

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips, but his eyes were still guarded, suspicious. “You used your rations for this?”

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice a little softer, more vulnerable than you intended. “It’s no big deal. Just… thought you deserved something nice.”

Joel stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. You could see the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers gripped the shirt like he was afraid to accept it, afraid of what it meant. His gaze flickered to yours, and you saw something there, unreadable.

“Why’re you doing this for me?” he asked quietly, his voice rough, almost accusing, as if he couldn’t believe that someone would care about him enough to make such a gesture.

You took a step closer, your heart hammering in your chest. “Because I want to, Joel. Because you matter to me.”

His eyes darkened, the weight of your words settling between you like a heavy fog. You could see the battle he was waging within himself, the walls he had built so high, trying to protect himself from feeling anything. But the look in his eyes softened, if only for a moment, and something shifted.

Before you could say anything else, before you even had a chance to breathe, he stepped forward, closing the space between you. His hand cupped the back of your neck, rough but gentle, and then his lips were on yours.

It wasn’t soft or slow. It was raw, desperate, as if he had been holding himself back for far too long. The kiss stole the air from your lungs, a surge of warmth flooding through you. He kissed you like he needed it, like he couldn’t hold back anymore, and in that moment, you knew that this was more than just a Kiss, it was the first crack in his armor.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath uneven as if he couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. Neither could you.

“You shouldn’t be wastin’ rations on me,” he muttered, but his voice was softer now, almost tender.

You smiled, your hands still clutching the fabric of his shirt. “Not a waste. Not at all.”

Joel’s lips twitched, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw a small, real smile.

From that moment on, the shirt had become his favorite. He wore it often, and every time he did, it reminded you of that day, of the first time he had let you in.

From that moment on, you had become the most precious thing he had in the world.”

Tears blurred your vision as you sobbed into the fabric, holding onto it as if it were him, as if it could somehow bring him back. The ache in your heart was unbearable, the reality of his absence crashing over you like a tidal wave.

You whispered his name through your tears, wondering where he was, if he was thinking of you too. If he missed you, and of course he did, you thought. But what was really eating you was his safety. The fear clawed at you, the unknown hanging over you like a dark cloud.

"Please come back," you whispered to the empty room, your voice breaking. But the only answer was the silence, the vast, aching silence that now filled the space Joel had left behind.

+

At the same time, miles away, Joel lay on the cold floor of an abandoned house, his body limp, covered in sweat and blood. His breath came in ragged gasps, barely enough to keep him conscious. The world around him blurred, the edges of his vision darkening as pain coursed through his body. His grip on reality was slipping, but one thing remained constant in his mind: you.

He tried to focus, tried to stay awake, but it was getting harder. The wound in his side throbbed with every shallow breath, blood seeping through his clothes and pooling beneath him. The searing pain was relentless, but what hurt more was the thought of you, alone, without him.

Ellie was beside him, frantically trying to stop the bleeding, her hands shaking as she applied pressure to his wound. "Joel, stay with me," she pleaded, her voice trembling.

Joel’s eyes fluttered open for a moment, his gaze unfocused. He could hear her voice, but it felt distant, muffled, like she was speaking through water. His thoughts drifted to you—how you had always been the one to keep him grounded, to remind him there was something worth fighting for.

He thought of your smile, the way your eyes would light up when you laughed. He thought of the shirt you'd given him back in the QZ, how he hadn’t understood why someone like you would care for someone like him. He thought of the nights you spent together, wrapped in each other’s arms, and how your belly had grown your baby inside.

The thought of not having the chance of meeting his baby was pulling the string to life now.

"Joel, stay with me!" Ellie’s voice broke through the fog again, more urgent this time. She was crying now, her hands stained red as she tried to keep him alive. She had seen too much death, lost too many people, and she couldn’t lose him too. Not now.

Joel’s breath hitched as his body fought to stay conscious. He thought of you one last time, of the child growing inside you, the life he had left behind to protect Ellie. He had made a choice, but now, as the darkness threatened to pull him under, all he could think about was getting back to you.

His hand twitched, reaching for something—anything to hold on to—but all he felt was the cold, hard floor beneath him. His eyelids grew heavier, his body weaker, but somewhere deep inside, he clung to the hope that he would see you again. That he would make it back to you.

"Please," he whispered, though it was barely audible. He wasn’t sure if he was begging Ellie to save him or if it was a prayer to the universe to bring him back to you.

Ellie’s hands didn’t stop, her desperation fueling her as she fought to keep him alive. "I won’t let you die," she swore, her voice raw with emotion. "I won’t."

But as Joel’s world faded to black, the only thing on his mind was you, and the sound of your voice, the warmth of your touch, everything that had kept him going. The thought of you was his last tether to the world, the only thing he could hold onto in the darkness.

And then, there was nothing.

you stirred awake to the soft light filtering through the window, your body still heavy with exhaustion and the weight of your sorrow. Your fingers tightened around the fabric of Joel’s shirt, the scent of him lingering in the fibers, a bittersweet reminder of his absence.

A gentle knock at your door pulled you from your thoughts, the sound echoing in the quiet room. You sat up slowly, wiping the remnants of tears from your cheeks, the reality of the past few days crashing back over you like a wave. “Come in,” you called, your voice hoarse from crying.

The door creaked open, revealing Tommy standing in the doorway, a worried expression etched across his face. “Hey,” he said softly, stepping into the room. “I thought I’d check on you.”

You forced a small smile, but it felt fragile, like it might shatter at any moment. “I’m okay,” you lied, though the truth hung heavily in the air between you.

Tommy’s gaze fell to the shirt in your hands, his expression shifting to one of understanding. “You miss him,” he stated rather than asked, his voice gentle.

You nodded, the tears welling up again, and you quickly blinked them away. “Of course I miss him. And I don’t know if he is okay.”

Tommy moved closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I wish I could tell you he is. But… we’ve been through a lot, and sometimes, we have to trust that they’ll come back to us.”

His words brought some comfort, but it was fleeting. “What if he doesn’t?” you whispered. “What if he and Ellie are hurt?”

You wanted to believe him, to cling to that hope, but the uncertainty gnawed at you. “I just want him back,” you admitted, the ache in your heart making your voice crack. “I want them both back, we were supposed to be a family.”

Tommy’s expression softened; the concern etched on his face deepening. “I know,” he replied, his voice steady. “You’re right. You three are a family, and it’s not fair for you to feel this way.”

The raw emotion in your words hung heavy in the air. You could feel the tears welling up again, threatening to spill over. “It just feels so empty without him.”

He nodded in understanding, his gaze unwavering. “Joel’s a fighter, and so are you. Just hold on to that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that hope can keep us going even when things seem dark.”

“But what if hope isn’t enough?” you asked, frustration creeping into your voice. “What if he’s out there, and I’m just stuck here waiting?”

Tommy sighed, leaning forward slightly. “You’re not just waiting. You’re doing something important right now by taking care of yourself and that baby. Joel would want you to stay safe and strong. You’re both his world.”

His words made you pause. You had been so consumed with worry that you hadn’t allowed yourself to consider what Joel would want for you, for the baby. You needed to honor his love by taking care of yourself, even if it felt impossible at the moment.

“I know you’re right,” you admitted, your voice softer now. “It’s just hard to think of anything else when all I want is to be with him.”

Tommy reached over, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Now, you have to keep yourself strong for my baby nephew or niece there” he said pointing at your belly, “And I heard that there is a delicious breakfast waiting for you at my house.”

A small smile broke through your sadness at Tommy's words. The thought of food, especially something delicious, made your stomach rumble. “Breakfast, huh?” you said, attempting to lighten the mood. “Is it worth the trek over there?”

Tommy chuckled, the sound warm and comforting. “You bet it is. Maria’s been in the kitchen since sunrise, whipping up all sorts of goodies. You can’t say no to her pancakes.”

The mention of Maria made your heart feel a little lighter. She always had a way of brightening your day, and the thought of spending time with her and Tommy brought a hint of normalcy back into your chaotic world. “Alright, I guess I can be tempted by pancakes,” you said, wiping your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Just give me a moment to get ready.”

As you stood up and moved towards the small mirror on the wall, Tommy turned to leave, but not before he added, “And remember, you’re not alone in this. We’re all here for you, and Joel will come back. You have to believe that.”

You nodded, feeling the flicker of hope ignite once more within you. “I will, Tommy. Thank you.”

As the weeks passed, life in Jackson continued to move forward, albeit without Joel. You immersed yourself in the routine of the community, trying to find solace in the familiar faces and daily activities. However, your heart remained tethered to the memories of him, each thought a bittersweet reminder of what was lost.

Paul’s presence became more pronounced during this time. His visits were frequent, and he often lingered a bit longer than necessary, his laughter ringing through your home, filling the silence left by Joel. At first, you welcomed his company, finding comfort in his kindness, but gradually you began to notice the way his gaze lingered on you, the way his touch was a little too warm, a little too intentional.

You were oblivious to his growing intentions, too consumed by thoughts of Joel. Every time Paul made a gesture that hinted at something more—like the way he’d offer to carry things for you or the way his smile seemed to brighten when he caught your eye—you brushed it off as friendly camaraderie.

But in the quiet moments, especially as your pregnancy progressed, you couldn’t help but wonder what Joel would say or do. You often imagined him here, by your side, offering his protective presence and the warmth of his love.

One afternoon, while you were resting on the porch, Paul joined you, bringing along a small basket of fruit. “Thought you might like a snack,” he said, settling down beside you. “You’ve got to keep your strength up.”

“Thanks, Paul,” you replied, taking a piece of fruit and munching on it absentmindedly. Your mind drifted, imagining Joel’s voice teasing you about how much you were eating, and you couldn’t suppress a smile at the thought.

Paul watched you, his expression softening as he leaned a bit closer. “You know,” he started, hesitating for a moment as if weighing his words. “You’re pretty amazing. I admire how strong you are, going through all this without—”

“Without Joel?” you interjected gently, your heart clenching at the mention of his name. “I don’t really feel strong. I just… I’m doing what I have to do.”

Paul nodded, a hint of disappointment flickering across his face, but he quickly masked it with a smile. “Right. Just know I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need.”

You offered him a grateful smile, but inside, the ache for Joel was relentless. You wanted to believe that everything would be okay, that Joel would come back, and that you could return to the life you had built together. But every passing day made the reality of that hope feel more distant.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow across the horizon, you felt the familiar pang of loneliness creeping back in. You were in Jackson, surrounded by people, yet the emptiness inside you was profound. No amount of comfort from Paul could fill the void that Joel had left behind.

February 15

It’s been weeks since Joel left, and I’m still struggling to accept it. I find myself waking up each morning, hoping that it was all just a nightmare, but the empty side of the bed reminds me of the truth. I miss him more than I can put into words.

Tommy and Maria have been amazing, and I’m grateful for their support. They try to keep me distracted, to make me feel like I’m not alone, but the truth is that every moment feels heavy without him here. Even the laughter we share feels tinged with sadness. I want to be strong, for my baby and for Joel, but some days, it feels like an impossible task.

And then there’s Paul. He’s kind and thoughtful, and I can see that he cares about me. I appreciate everything he does, but it feels wrong to let myself lean on him. My heart belongs to Joel, and nothing will change that. I’m still waiting for him to come back, to hold me again and make everything feel right.

I can’t shake the fear that I might never see him again. What if something happened? What if he’s in pain? My heart aches with every unanswered question. I wish I could tell him that I love him, that I’m thinking of him every second of the day.

But then, I think of the baby. The baby needs me to be strong. I need to focus on keeping myself healthy for them, even when it feels like my heart is breaking. I can’t forget about them in the midst of all this pain.

I keep reminding myself that I’m not alone. I have Tommy and Maria, and even Paul, though it feels complicated sometimes. I just wish I could feel whole again.

As I sit here writing, holding onto this shirt of Joel's, I hope that wherever he is, he knows how much I love him. I hope he’s safe and that he’s thinking of me too. I’ll keep writing until he returns. It’s the only way I know how to keep our story alive.”

It was one of those quiet evenings when the weight of Joel's absence seemed unbearable. You hadn’t seen much of Tommy or Maria that day, and Dr. Paul had stopped by as usual. This time, though, he lingered longer, suggesting he bring you dinner to keep you company. You hesitated, but the idea of eating alone in the house that felt more like a stranger’s shelter than a home wore on you. So, reluctantly, you agreed.

The two of you sat across from each other at the small table, plates of food in front of you, but you barely touched yours. Paul, on the other hand, seemed relaxed, making light conversation about the community, about his work. You nodded along, offering small smiles, but your mind wandered, as it always did, back to Joel.

After a while, Paul cleared his throat, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between bites. His eyes lingered on you, a softness there that made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. "You know," he began, his voice gentle but carrying a certain weight, "you won’t be able to do this alone forever."

You furrowed your brows, not quite following. "What do you mean?"

Paul leaned forward slightly, his expression serious, yet warm. "Raising a baby... it’s not something you should have to handle on your own. You’ll need someone by your side. Someone who can help you, take care of you and the baby."

Your heart skipped a beat at the insinuation, and for a moment, the room felt too small. The air thickened as you stared at him, realization dawning slowly. He wasn’t just offering help out of kindness. There was something more to his visits, to his attentiveness, something you hadn’t seen until now.

You swallowed hard, a flash of anger mixing with the ache of missing Joel. You pushed your plate away, your appetite completely gone now. "Joel’s gonna get back," you said firmly, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside you. "He’s coming back."

Paul blinked, taken aback by your response. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes searching yours as if trying to figure out how to respond. "I understand that you care for Joel," he said carefully, his tone measured, "but he left, didn’t he? He made a choice."

Your jaw tightened, defensive walls going up. "I don’t care about Joel. I love him. I’m in love with him. He’s doing what he has to. He’s coming back for us. I know it."

Paul’s gaze softened, but there was a flicker of something else behind his eyes—concern, perhaps, or frustration. “I just don’t want you to set yourself up for heartbreak. You deserve to have someone who’s here for you now, not just someone you hope will come back.”

You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, anger bubbling just beneath the surface. “You don’t know what we have, Paul. You don’t understand the bond we built, the things we’ve been through together.”

His expression shifted slightly, a mix of empathy and something you couldn’t quite place. “And I respect that. But you also need to think about your future—about your baby. What if he doesn’t come back? What if he’s...”

“Stop,” you interrupted, the word bursting from you like a shield. “Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. I won’t allow myself to entertain that thought. Joel will come back for us and before the baby arrives.”

The room fell into a tense silence, the only sounds coming from the gentle crackling of the fire in the corner and the distant hum of life outside. You could feel the weight of the unspoken hanging between you, a chasm created by the gulf of your differing hopes.

Paul opened his mouth, clearly torn on how to respond. “Look, I’m not trying to come between you two. I just—”

“I know,” you interjected, your voice calmer now, but still firm. “You care. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, for the baby. But my heart belongs to Joel, and it always will. It’s not fair to me or to him to act like that connection doesn’t exist just because he’s not here right now.”

Paul sighed, leaning back in his chair with a resigned expression. “Okay. I hear you. But just know that I’m here for you, no matter what. Whether it’s just as a friend or... more. Just think about it, alright?”

You nodded, though your heart felt heavy. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the way he wanted to help. But every time you thought of Joel, a warmth spread through you that no one else could replicate.

“Thanks, Paul,” you said quietly, forcing a small smile. “But I think you should go.”

Paul's face fell at your words, a flicker of disappointment crossing his features. The warmth that had been there moments before faded, replaced by a guarded expression. “I understand,” he replied softly, his voice steady despite the obvious hurt. “I just wanted to help you, to be there for you in any way I could.”

You felt a pang of guilt for turning him away, but you had to be firm. “I appreciate everything you’ve done, Paul. Really. But from now on, I think it’s best if we keep things more... professional. I need to focus on me and the baby right now. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

He nodded slowly, processing your words. “Of course. I can respect that,” he said, though the disappointment lingered in his eyes. “I’ll check on the baby and make sure you’re both doing okay, but I won’t push for anything more.”

“Thank you,” you said, relieved that he seemed to understand. “That’s all I need for now. Just someone who can help with check-ups and advice. No more dinners or flowers or anything like that. I need to keep my mind clear.”

Paul inhaled deeply, nodding again. “I get it. I really do. Just know that if you ever change your mind or need anything, I’m here.”

As he stood up to leave, the atmosphere in the room shifted, the weight of unspoken feelings hanging heavily in the air. You felt a mix of sadness and relief wash over you, knowing that you had made the right choice for your heart, but also recognizing the friendship that was slipping away.

“Take care of yourself,” he said, his voice softening again as he moved toward the door. “And take care of that little one. I’ll be around to check on you both.”

“Thanks, Paul,” you replied, forcing a smile even though your heart felt heavy. As he stepped outside, the door closing gently behind him, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

You stared at the empty chair where he had just sat, the silence of the room settling around you. The reality of your situation loomed large; you were alone in a world where you were still waiting for Joel, still holding onto hope. The ache of missing him was as familiar as the beating of your heart, a constant reminder that some connections could never truly be replaced.

As you turned your gaze back to the window, you let your thoughts drift once more to Joel, the warmth of his memory wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. You closed your eyes and whispered his name, hoping with all your heart that he was safe, that he was thinking of you too, and that one day soon, he would return to fill the void in your life.

You were about to give birth and Joel would be here by then.

The day had finally arrived, but as you lay in the infirmary, the pain of contractions rippled through you, sharper than you could have imagined. Each wave of discomfort was accompanied by a fresh wave of disappointment and anger, emotions that seemed to swirl together in a chaotic dance within you.

You gripped the edge of the bed, trying to focus on your breathing, but it felt impossible to push away the nagging thought that Joel should have been there. This was a moment that deserved his presence, his strength. You had envisioned him by your side, his reassuring voice guiding you through the pain, just as he had done so many times before. But instead, you were alone, surrounded by unfamiliar faces and the sterile smell of antiseptic.

“Just breathe, you’re doing great,” Paul said, trying to offer comfort as he checked your progress. His voice was calm and steady, but it did little to soothe the tumult inside you. You could sense his concern, but all you could think about was Joel, his absence a heavy weight on your chest.

“Where is he?” you gasped, the question slipping from your lips, filled with a mix of desperation and fury. “He should be here! He promised... he would be back.” The words came out more like a plea, the frustration boiling beneath the surface as you fought against the pain.

Paul exchanged a worried glance with the Tommy and Marie before looking back at you. “I know you’re scared. But you need to focus on the baby right now. You can do this.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to focus on the here and now, but every wave of pain brought Joel’s face to your mind, and with it, a sharp pang of grief. Tommy’s hand was on yours, a steady, reassuring presence. “You’re doing great,” he murmured, though his voice sounded distant, almost muffled. “Just a little longer.”

You barely heard him, your thoughts swirling. The pressure built, and a cry escaped your lips as another contraction tore through you. Maria was on your other side, her face tight with worry. "Just breathe," she urged. "You're almost there."

You squeezed Tommy's hand harder, your nails digging into his skin, but he didn’t flinch. Finally, there was a moment of stillness, a pause in the storm of pain. You felt the baby slide free, and then there was a new sound, thin and high-pitched, cutting through the air, the cry of a newborn.

But instead of relief, a hollow feeling settled in your chest. Your breath hitched, and your eyes remained tightly shut, refusing to open, refusing to acknowledge what had just happened.

Maria moved quickly, wrapping the baby in a soft blanket, her eyes filled with tears as she turned to you. "It’s a girl," she whispered, her voice soft, almost reverent. "A beautiful, healthy girl."

You didn’t look. You couldn’t. “No,” you muttered, shaking your head weakly. “I… I don’t want to see her.”

Maria hesitated, a look of confusion flashing across her face. “But… she’s your baby,” she urged gently. "She's right here. She's perfect."

Tommy glanced at Maria, then back at you, a look of worry crossing his face. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice almost a whisper, “what’s going on? You’ve been waiting for this, for her. She’s your daughter.”

You felt a sob catch in your throat, the words clawing to get out. "I can’t… I can’t do this," you whispered, your voice breaking. "Not without him. I can't..."

The room fell into a heavy silence, Maria and Tommy exchanging a look filled with unspoken concern. Tommy’s face softened, his grip on your hand tightening. “He’ll come back,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “Joel will come back. You know he would never leave you like this… not for good.”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. "He left," you murmured, your voice trembling. "He left, and I don't know if he’s ever coming back. I don’t know how to do this without him. I don’t want to… I can’t look at her."

Maria’s expression softened, and she gently handed the baby to a nearby nurse, who took the little girl away for a moment. "It’s okay,” Maria whispered, sitting closer to you. "It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel lost."

Your chest tightened, a sob breaking free from your lips. “I just… I needed him to be here,” you confessed, your voice small and broken. “I needed him, and he’s gone.”

Tommy rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand, his eyes filled with empathy. "I know," he said quietly. "I know it hurts. But you’re not alone, okay? We’re here, Maria and I… all of Jackson is here for you. And Joel… I believe he’ll come back. You have to believe that too."

You closed your eyes again, feeling the exhaustion settling over you like a heavy blanket. "I don’t know how to feel," you whispered, the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

Tommy sighed, nodding slowly. “Take your time,” he murmured. “We’re not going anywhere. And when you’re ready… your little girl will be here, waiting for you.”

Maria reached out, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “She’s beautiful,” she whispered softly. “And she needs her mom. But we’ll take care of her for now. We’ll make sure she’s safe. You don’t have to do this alone.”

You nodded, barely, a sense of numbness spreading through you. Somewhere, deep inside, you wanted to believe that Joel would walk through that door any second now, that he’d see his daughter, hold her, and everything would be okay.

But until then, all you could do was wait.

A few hours later, the room had quieted down, the dim light from a nearby lamp casting soft shadows on the walls. You felt a heavy exhaustion weighing down on you, a bone-deep tiredness that seemed to seep into every part of your being. The adrenaline from the birth had faded, leaving you with a hollow ache that was more emotional than physical.

The door creaked open, and you heard the footsteps before you saw him.

Paul stepped inside, a gentle smile on his face. “Hey there,” he said softly, his voice low to avoid startling you. “How are you holding up?”

You nodded slightly, trying to muster a smile despite the emotional weight in your heart. “I’m okay. Just... tired.”

He moved closer, clearing his throat, looking down at you with a polite but firm expression. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice low in the quiet room. “I know it’s been a lot, and you’re tired… but your baby girl needs to be fed.”

You turned your head away, staring at the wall, trying to ignore the tightening in your chest. You weren’t ready. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

He took a step closer, his voice growing softer, almost coaxing. “She’s hungry. And the sooner you start, the better it’ll be for both of you. I know this is hard, but…” He hesitated, a slight frown creasing his brow. “She needs her mom.”

You clenched your jaw, feeling a spark of irritation at his words. "I can’t," you muttered, your voice barely a whisper. “Not now.”

He sighed, moving to the edge of the bed, his eyes searching your face for something, understanding, maybe. “Look, I get it,” he began, his tone more insistent. “But you can’t just leave her to starve. You’re all she has right now. You’re her whole world.”

You shot him a sharp glance, your frustration bubbling up. "I said no," you replied, your voice firmer this time. “Get someone else to feed her.”

Paul’s expression tightened, and he ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "There isn't anyone else,” he pressed. “We don’t have a lot of resources here, and formula is limited. You have to do this, or she’ll suffer.”

The weight of his words hit you, but so did his tone. The way he seemed to be blaming you, as if it was your fault that you were too broken, too overwhelmed to even look at your own child.

Maria, who had been hovering nearby, stepped forward, placing a calming hand on the doctor’s arm. “Paul, give her a minute, okay?” she said softly but firmly. “She’s just been through a lot. Let’s give her some space.”

He nodded, reluctantly stepping back. "I’m just saying,” he muttered, his gaze flicking back to you. "She’s going to need her mother sooner rather than later."

He turned and left the room, his footsteps fading down the hallway. Maria watched him go, then turned back to you, her eyes filled with empathy. She reached out, gently squeezing your hand. “I know he can be a bit… pushy,” she said quietly, “but he’s right about one thing. She does need you.”

You swallowed hard, tears stinging your eyes again. “I just… I can’t face her, Maria,” you confessed, your voice breaking. “Not when I feel like this. Not without Joel.”

Maria nodded, understanding in her eyes. “I get it,” she whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. And that little girl… she’s a part of you. And Joel, too.”

The words hung in the air between you, and for a moment, you felt the weight of them settle in your heart. You were afraid — of loving this child, of losing her, of losing another part of yourself if Joel never came back. But there was also a flicker of something else, something deep and primal — the instinct to protect, to care, to nurture.

“I’ll bring her in,” Maria offered gently, “just for a moment. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. Just… see her. That’s all.”

You hesitated, then slowly nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. Maria gave you a small smile, squeezing your hand again before leaving the room.

A few moments later, she returned with a tiny bundle in her arms. Your baby. So small, so fragile. The baby’s eyes were closed, her tiny mouth opening and closing in search of comfort.

Maria carefully placed her in your arms, and for the first time, you looked down at your daughter. Her face was so small, her skin so soft, and suddenly, without warning, a sob broke free from your chest. The sight of her, the feel of her warmth against you, tore through all the walls you’d built.

She was a piece of you. And a piece of Joel. And despite everything, despite the pain, the fear, the uncertainty, she was here, and she was yours.

You took a shaky breath, feeling the tears flow freely down your cheeks. “Hey, little one,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

The baby stirred slightly, her eyes fluttering open for the briefest moment, and in that instant, you felt a small spark of something in your chest, a tiny flicker of love, a tiny piece of you.

"Hi, baby Rosie," you whispered softly, naming her after the flowers you’d always loved, the ones that somehow still managed to grow even in the worst conditions. The name felt right, like a promise of something beautiful amidst all the harshness. Rosie shifted slightly, her tiny fingers curling against your chest, and a small, tender smile broke through your tears.

Maria’s smile widened, a warm, proud light in her eyes. "That’s a beautiful name," she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. "Rosie… it suits her."

Just then, Tommy stepped into the room, his footsteps soft but purposeful. His gaze fell on you, cradling Rosie in your arms, and his face softened into a gentle, almost surprised smile. "Well, look at that," he said quietly, moving closer, his eyes never leaving the small bundle in your arms. "That’s my niece."

He came to your side, glancing at Maria for a moment, then back to you. There was something in his expression — a mix of relief, pride, and a kind of cautious joy. He looked down at Rosie, and you could see his eyes glisten just a little. "She’s beautiful," he whispered, his voice catching in his throat.

You nodded, your own emotions swirling, a strange mix of overwhelming love and the lingering ache of uncertainty. “She is,” you agreed softly, glancing down at your daughter. “She’s so… tiny.”

Tommy chuckled, his smile growing wider. “Yeah, they start that way,” he teased gently, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He reached out, hesitating for a moment before his hand lightly brushed Rosie’s head. “Hey there, Rosie,” he murmured. “You’re gonna be just fine. Got your mama right here… and your uncle Tommy, too.”

Maria moved closer, wrapping an arm around Tommy’s waist. “We’re all here,” she added, her voice soft but firm. “Whatever you need, whenever you need it. You’ve got us.”

You felt a wave of gratitude wash over you, grateful for their presence, their support, and their love. It didn’t erase the pain or the uncertainty, but it made it a little easier to bear. Holding Rosie closer, you allowed yourself to breathe, to feel the warmth of this moment, to hope — even just a little — that things might be okay.

Rosie let out a tiny yawn, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a small smile tugging at your lips. "Thank you," you whispered, glancing up at Tommy and Maria. "For being here… for everything."

Tommy gave a slight nod, his expression tender. "We're family," he replied simply. "That’s what we do."

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over you. Rosie began to fuss in your arms, her tiny mouth opening and closing, searching. You glanced at Maria, who gave you an encouraging nod. "It’s okay," she whispered. "She’s hungry."

You adjusted your position on the bed, feeling a mix of nervousness and instinct kicking in. As you began to unbutton your shirt to feed Rosie, you noticed Tommy standing awkwardly nearby, his eyes wide as he realized what was about to happen.

His face turned a shade redder, and he quickly looked away, trying to give you privacy. “Uh… yeah, I’ll just… I’ll, uh… step out,” he stammered, taking a step back toward the door. He paused for a moment, then added with a slight grin, “And don’t worry, I’ll never tell Joel I saw this.”

Maria burst out laughing at his awkwardness, shaking her head. “Oh, come on, Tommy. It’s just feeding a baby. You’ve seen worse.”

Tommy’s smile widened, though he kept his gaze firmly on the floor. "Yeah, but Joel’s my brother, and I don’t think he’d appreciate me having a front-row seat to… this," he muttered, his voice light with humor but his discomfort still clear.

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly, a bit of tension easing from your shoulders. “Thanks, Tommy,” you said, grateful for the attempt at levity in such a raw moment. “And yeah, maybe keep this one to yourself.”

Tommy gave you a playful salute. “You got it,” he said before slipping out of the room, leaving you with Maria and Rosie.

Maria moved closer, her smile warm and understanding. “You’re doing great,” she murmured. “And don’t mind Tommy. He’s just being… well, Tommy.”

You nodded, feeling a little more at ease. Rosie’s small movements brought your attention back to her, and you focused on the task at hand. You guided her to latch, feeling a mix of discomfort and wonder as she began to feed. For a moment, all the noise in your mind quieted, and there was just the steady rhythm of her tiny breaths, the rise and fall of your chest, and the warmth of her against you.

Maria watched with a soft smile, her eyes reflecting a deep understanding. "See?" she whispered. "You’ve got this."

You nodded slowly, a small, tentative smile forming on your lips. Maybe, just maybe, you did.

A month had passed since Rosie was born, and the world outside felt heavier than ever. Each day, you rose with the sun, cradling your baby and navigating the delicate balance of motherhood in a world that seemed intent on breaking you. But the absence of Joel loomed larger than any other burden. His absence echoed through the quiet of your days, a painful reminder of the love you’d lost amid the chaos.

As you paced the small living space, the walls felt like they were closing in on you. The gentle cooing of Rosie contrasted sharply with the storm brewing in your heart. Every time you glanced at her, you felt a pang of anger bubble up — anger at the universe for taking him from you, anger at yourself for being so vulnerable, and anger at the endless cycle of survival that left little room for hope.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, Rosie cradled against your chest, her tiny fingers clutching your shirt. She was so innocent, so unaware of the weight that pressed down on you. You fought back tears as you watched her, the small signs of growth reminding you of everything you wished could be different. It felt unfair that she had to grow up in this world without her father, without the love and protection he could provide.

A knock at the door jolted you from your thoughts. You looked over, half-expecting to see Joel standing there, but when you opened the door, it was Tommy. His face bore the lines of concern, but you couldn't muster the energy to reciprocate his warmth.

"Hey," he greeted softly, stepping inside and glancing at Rosie, who had fallen asleep against you. “She’s getting so big.”

You forced a smile, but it felt like a mask over the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. "Yeah," you said, your voice lacking its usual warmth. "She is."

Tommy shifted slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know it’s been tough… I can’t imagine what you’re feeling.”

You couldn’t hold back the anger any longer. “What I’m feeling? I’m feeling like a single mother in a godforsaken world with no sign of the man I love! He should be here with us, Tommy!” Your voice raised, the emotion pouring out like a floodgate unleashed.

“I know, and I’m so sorry,” he replied, his tone gentle but firm. “But we’re doing everything we can to find him. You have to believe that.”

You shook your head, stepping away from the door, feeling the walls close in even more. “What’s the point? What if he doesn’t come back? What if he never gets to meet Rosie? I can’t keep living in this limbo, waiting for something that might never happen.”

Tommy’s gaze softened, and he stepped closer. “You’re not alone, you know? Maria and I are here for you. We want to help however we can.”

You huffed, crossing your arms defensively. “Help? You can’t bring him back. No one can.” You paused. “Maria is carrying your child, Tommy. You must worry about her.”

“I do. And I also care for my niece and my sister-in-law” he answered.

You could see the sincerity in his eyes, but your frustration bubbled just below the surface. “That doesn’t change the fact that Joel should be here. He’s missing, and I can’t just sit back and pretend everything’s fine while you and Maria are about to become parents. It feels… unfair.”

Tommy’s expression grew serious. “I know it’s not easy, but you can’t push us away. We want to be here for you and Rosie. And just because Maria and I are starting a family doesn’t mean we care any less about you. We’re all in this together.”

You turned away, staring at the wall, feeling the weight of his words. Part of you wanted to reject his offer of support, to wallow in your pain and anger, but another part craved the connection and the reassurance that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as alone as you felt.

“Why can’t you just understand how hard this is for me?” you said, your voice trembling. “Every time I look at Rosie, I see everything I’ve lost. I can’t bear the thought of loving her and then losing her too.”

Tommy stepped closer, his voice lowering to a gentle tone. “You’re not going to lose her. And you’re not losing Joel either. He’s out there, and we’ll do everything we can to bring him back. But you have to let us help you through this. It’s okay to be scared, to feel overwhelmed. You don’t have to go through it all alone.”

You met his gaze, searching for any hint of insincerity, but all you found was unwavering support. Taking a deep breath, you let the anger fade just a little, allowing the vulnerability to seep in.

“Okay,” you said quietly, finally letting the walls you’d built start to crumble. “Maybe I don’t know how to be strong all the time. Maybe I do need help.”

Tommy’s face broke into a warm smile, relief washing over him. “Good. Let’s take it one day at a time. I’ll help however I can. We can figure out feeding routines, and I can take care of some chores around here. Just… don’t shut us out.”

You nodded slowly, “Thank you.”

You let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the past month’s isolation slowly lifting. It wasn’t that you didn’t want help; it was that the fear of losing Joel had wrapped around you like a shroud, making it hard to see a way forward. But with Tommy’s support, a small crack of light broke through.

“Let’s start with something simple,” he suggested, his voice lightening a bit. “How about I take Rosie for a bit while you get some rest? You look like you could use it.”

You hesitated, glancing at the tiny bundle in your arms. “Are you sure? I don’t want to overwhelm you with her.”

Tommy chuckled softly, a hint of warmth in his voice. “I promise, I can handle a baby. Besides, I want to get to know my niece. Just give me a moment.”

You reluctantly handed Rosie over, your heart fluttering with both anxiety and relief. Watching as Tommy cradled her, a gentle smile on his face, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of comfort in knowing she was with family.

“See? She’s in good hands,” he assured you, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “I’ll take good care of her. You just take some time for yourself.”

You nodded, feeling a little more at ease. “Okay. Just for a little while.”

As Tommy settled into the rocking chair with Rosie, you stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind you. The moment you were alone, you felt the remnants of tension seep from your body, leaving you a bit lighter.

You made your way to the small bathroom, splashing cool water on your face and letting the sensation ground you. Your reflection in the mirror was a reminder of the past weeks — the sleepless nights, the tears, the fear. But beneath it all, you also saw a flicker of resilience.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped back into the living area, where the sounds of Tommy cooing at Rosie filled the space. It was a simple moment, but it felt monumental. You could see how much Tommy genuinely cared, and the thought made your heart swell.

As you joined them, settling onto the couch across from him, you watched the two of them. “What are you talking about?” you asked, a playful curiosity tugging at your lips.

Tommy looked up with a grin. “Just telling her all the stories about her uncle. I was quite the troublemaker, you know.”

“Oh really?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine that.”

He laughed; the sound infectious. “You should have seen me. I could charm anyone out of trouble… except for Joel. He always saw right through me.”

You felt a small smile break through as you listened to him reminisce. It was a distraction you desperately needed, a chance to be reminded of the good things in life even amidst the chaos.

As the minutes passed, you began to feel a shift within yourself — a softening of the hard edges that grief had carved into your heart. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they once seemed. Maybe, with time and support, you could learn to navigate this new chapter alongside Rosie, surrounded by family who cared.

And as you watched Tommy bounce Rosie gently, you allowed yourself to entertain a sliver of hope. Perhaps Joel would find his way back to you, and until then, you had a new purpose to embrace, even in the absence of the one you loved.

A few days later, the air in the infirmary was thick with the familiar scent of antiseptic and the quiet hum of muted conversations. You sat on a worn-out chair, cradling Rosie in your arms as you watched Paul examine her. The little one was wrapped snugly in a soft blanket, her tiny features serene as she slept.

Paul, focused on his task, checked Rosie’s vitals, his brow furrowed in concentration. You could see the care in his movements, the way he gently examined her delicate limbs and listened to her heartbeat. After a moment, he straightened up, turning his attention to you.

“She’s doing well,” he said, a hint of relief in his voice. “Gaining weight, which is a good sign. Just keep an eye on her feeding schedule.”

You nodded, feeling a swell of pride. “I’ve been trying my best.”

Paul offered a small smile before his expression shifted, becoming more serious. “Can we talk for a moment?”

“Okay,” you replied, bracing yourself for what might come next.

Paul’s gaze dropped, and he took a deep breath before speaking again. “See, I told you he wasn’t going to come back.”

The words struck you like a blow, igniting a spark of anger deep within. “What do you mean?” you snapped, your voice rising. “You’re just going to give up on him like that?”

“I'm not giving up,” Paul said quickly, his tone defensive. “I’m trying to prepare you for the reality of this situation.”

“Reality?” you echoed, disbelief flooding your voice. “You think I don’t know what reality is? You think I want to believe he’s gone? I can’t just accept that!”

He held up his hands, trying to calm the storm brewing inside you. “I understand. But holding onto hope for too long can be dangerous. It can lead to more pain.”

“More pain?” you laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “You think I haven’t felt pain? You think it doesn’t hurt to think about him every single day, wondering if he’s, okay? Wondering if he’s thinking of us?”

Paul’s expression softened, but the seriousness remained. “I just don’t want you to be hurt even more when the reality sinks in.”

You felt the heat rising in your cheeks, frustration and sorrow bubbling beneath the surface. “You don’t get to dictate how I feel, Paul! You can’t just stand there and tell me to give up on someone I love. Joel is out there. I know he is. He wouldn’t leave us. He wouldn’t abandon me and Rosie.”

“I wish I could believe that as much as you do,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But you need to face the possibility that he’s not coming back. It’s not about giving up; it’s about being realistic.”

“Realistic?” you shot back, feeling tears prick at your eyes. “You think being realistic means I should stop hoping? That I should stop fighting for him? You’re wrong. If there’s even the slightest chance that he’s out there, I’m not going to let it go. Not now, not ever.”

Paul stepped closer; concern etched on his face. “You can’t do this alone. You need support, and right now, your focus should be on Rosie. She needs you.”

The mention of Rosie made the anger in your chest swirl into something more painful—guilt. “I know she needs me,” you said, your voice dropping. “But how can I be there for her when a part of me feels like it’s dying inside? How can I pretend everything is okay when I’m terrified of what the future holds without him?”

Paul’s expression softened further, and for a moment, you could see the struggle in his eyes. “I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m just trying to help you navigate this. You’re not alone in this fight, and we’re all here for you, ready to support you.”

Taking a deep breath, you felt the walls you had built around your heart beginning to crack. “I don’t want to lose him, Paul. I can’t. Not now, when I finally have a family of my own.”

“Then let us help you,” he urged, his voice earnest. “Let us be your family. We’ll do this together, one day at a time.”

You met his gaze, searching for a glimmer of hope, and found only sincerity. “I don’t know how,” you admitted, feeling the weight of your despair.

“Just start by being present,” he said gently. “For Rosie. For yourself. We’ll figure out the rest as we go. You’re stronger than you think, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.”

You shook your head, “No. I will never going to feel love for you, Paul”

Paul’s expression shifted, a mix of surprise and hurt flashing across his face. “I wasn’t asking you to love me,” he said, his voice steady but laced with disappointment. “I’m just trying to be here for you, to help you through this.”

“Help? You mean take Joel’s place?” you shot back, frustration bubbling over. “I can’t just forget about him, Paul. I won’t. I loved him, and I still do.”

“I get that,” he replied, his tone softening. “But you need to start living for yourself and Rosie. Holding onto Joel’s memory is one thing, but shutting everyone else out is another. You’re pushing away the people who care about you.”

You carefully shifted Rosie in your arms, holding her close as you locked eyes with Paul. “It’s her and me and Tommy and Maria; they are my family,” you said firmly, the protective instinct for your little girl rising within you. “You will never be part of that.”

Paul’s face fell, the weight of your words settling heavily in the air. “I understand that you feel this way, but it doesn’t mean you have to shut everyone out,” he said, his voice tinged with sadness.

“I’m sorry for being honest about it,” you continued, feeling a mixture of regret and resolve. “But having a daughter and being alone doesn’t make me a damsel in distress. I’m doing the best I can, and I won’t pretend to want something I don’t.”

His brows furrowed, and he took a step back as if your words had physically struck him. “I never thought of you as a damsel in distress. I see your strength, but it’s hard to see you pushing away those who want to help. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I appreciate that you care, Paul, but I don’t want help that comes with strings attached,” you insisted. “You may want to be there for me, but I’m not ready for that. My focus is Rosie, and I need to figure this out on my own.”

“I just want to be a part of your life, to support you both,” he replied, his voice softening. “I know it’s not easy, but I can be there for you without trying to replace Joel. I can respect that.”

You felt your heart ache “I said no.”

You felt your heart ache as the weight of his words hung in the air. “I said no,” you reiterated firmly, standing up from the chair, cradling Rosie closer to your chest. “I can’t do this right now, Paul. I need space.”

Paul opened his mouth, perhaps to argue, but then he hesitated, the look in his eyes shifting from concern to resignation. “I get it,” he said softly, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I just want what’s best for you and Rosie.”

You turned away, the tears threatening to spill over as you fought to keep your composure. “What’s best for me is to be left alone to figure this out. I have to focus on my daughter.”

The silence stretched between you, heavy and tense. You could feel Paul’s gaze on you, a mix of hurt and confusion in his expression, but you steeled yourself against it. You couldn’t let the guilt of his disappointment sway your decision.

“I’ll come back for the check-up,” you said, your voice shaking slightly. “But I need time to breathe, Paul. Please respect that.”

As you moved toward the door, you felt a pang of regret and relief. You opened the door, taking one last look at him. His expression was concerned and sad, but you knew this was what you needed.

As you stepped back into your small, cozy home, the door closing softly behind you, the weight of the world seemed to lift, even if just for a moment. You looked down at Rosie, her tiny eyes fluttering as she began to settle in your arms. Her soft breath was a reminder that despite everything, there was love and hope right here in your arms.

“Shh, Rosie. We’re home now,” you whispered gently, brushing your lips against her forehead. “It’s just you and me, baby girl. We’re gonna be okay.”

Her little hand gripped your shirt, and the corners of your mouth tugged into a small smile. The bond you felt with her was something no one could break. As you moved toward the rocking chair by the window, the soft glow of the setting sun bathed the room in a warm light. You gently lowered yourself into the chair, cradling Rosie close, rocking her slowly.

"You're so beautiful, Rosie," you murmured, watching her tiny face relax into sleep. "Your daddy would love you so much. He'll love you so much when he gets back. He’s coming back, sweetheart. I know he is."

The house was quiet, the kind of stillness that usually made your heart ache with Joel's absence. But tonight, with Rosie in your arms, that silence felt different—more peaceful, fuller. You hummed softly, rocking back and forth as Rosie’s breathing became steadier.

A melody drifted from your lips, a lullaby that Joel had once hummed to you on restless nights:

"Hush now, my darling, close your eyes,

The world is waiting, but not tonight."

Your voice trembled at the end, a lump forming in your throat as you pictured Joel. You imagined him here, sitting beside you, watching Rosie with that rare, soft smile he reserved for moments when his guard was down. He would hold her, kiss her tiny forehead, and tell you everything was going to be alright.

But as you sang, the warmth of Rosie’s little body against yours made you feel stronger than you thought you could be. She was the piece of Joel you held onto, the reminder of the life you were fighting to build, even if he wasn’t here now. You kissed her head, breathing in her soft baby scent, as you whispered the last words of the song:

"Sleep now, my love, you're safe in my arms,

One day you'll see all the world’s gleams.

But for today's, it's just you and me,

And we’ll wait for him, just wait and see."

Tears pricked your eyes, but this time, there was a sense of peace. You had your daughter, and she had you. For now, that was enough.

You rocked Rosie gently, her tiny body sinking deeper into sleep with each passing minute. Her soft breathing was steady, and her hand had finally relaxed its grip on your shirt. Carefully, you rose from the rocking chair, cradling her to your chest as you walked across the room to her crib.

“There you are, baby girl,” you whispered as you placed her down, tucking a blanket around her small form. Her chest rose and fell in a peaceful rhythm, her little face serene in the dim light of the room. For a moment, everything felt calm, as though the world outside didn't exist.

Just as you turned, a quiet knock came from the open door. You spun around to see Tommy standing there, a small smile on his face.

"Hey," he whispered, but the sound was still too loud in the quiet room.

You held a finger to your lips, motioning toward the crib. "Shh, Rosie just fell asleep," you murmured, stepping toward him.

Tommy nodded, lowering his voice further. “Sorry ‘bout that. I was just checkin’ in…”

Before you could respond, you noticed someone, standing behind Tommy, half-hidden by the doorframe. You blinked, your breath catching in your throat, your heart pounding in your ears.

It was Joel.

Your mind struggled to process the sight of him, standing there, looking worn and weary but alive. The moment stretched out as if time had slowed. His eyes, filled with an intensity you hadn’t seen in months, locked onto yours. It was as though the entire world had narrowed down to just the two of you.

Ellie was there too, just behind him. Her gaze seemed lost and weary.

Joel took a step forward, his eyes never leaving yours, but before he could come closer, you found yourself speaking, your voice sharp and surprising even to yourself.

“No.”

He stopped, his expression shifting from relief to confusion. Ellie, standing behind him, looked just as surprised, her eyes wide, and the exhaustion in her posture deepened. The room felt tense, charged with emotions you weren’t ready to face.

“No?” Joel repeated softly, his brows furrowing, unsure of how to respond.

You shook your head, taking a shaky breath. “You left,” you whispered, feeling the weight of months of fear, anger, and hurt bubbling to the surface.

Joel took another cautious step forward, his eyes never leaving yours, searching for any sign of rejection. When he saw none, he closed the distance between you in an instant, wrapping his arms tightly around your frame. The familiar warmth of his embrace washed over you, and for a moment, it felt like no time had passed at all.

You buried your face in his chest, the weight of everything finally crashing down. His heartbeat was strong and steady, grounding you in a way you had been desperately missing. Joel’s arms tightened around you as if he were afraid to let go, his grip protective, comforting. He pressed his face against the top of your head, exhaling a shaky breath.

“I thought I lost you,” you whispered against his chest, your voice breaking. The tears came then, spilling over as months of fear, anger, and loneliness poured out of you all at once. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”

“I’m here,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with guilt. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

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[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 27] || [Chapter 29]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.2K~ cw: illness, injuries, hurt/comfort, fluff, love confessions! Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: Just a cute little moment

Chapter 28: How in the-

The trip with John was short but sweet. A full weekend together, away from everything…

Followed by 4 whole weeks alone. Not that you minded the extra piece and quiet.

You were normally kept at a distance from the boys and their line of work. Arms length, not because they don’t trust you, but because just like Simon learned to drop Ghost at the door, the rest drop work at the door too.

The closest thing you get to ‘work’ is funny anecdotes that can even make you laugh, OR soft, whispered, retelling of memories as your hands snake over their rough skins, fingers grazing the scars that those memories left behind.

Today was a first. In a lot of ways.

The boys showed up at your flat at 3 A.M. after spending a whole month out of Hereford and in God knows where.

You had opened the door very wearily to the sight of the four of them, not even having changed out of their tactical gear, looking like they had been through hell.

Kyle was walking with a limp and a groan, his back stiff and an inability to properly swivel side to side at the hips.

Johnny had gotten his shoulder shot?? Plus his knee was acting up so he was also limping.

John was, also, limping. His back was also stiff and he murmured something about having pulled a muscle.

And Simon? The man’s eyes were surrounded by circles darker than you’d ever seen them, his shoulders slumped. He moved normally, unlike the others. And that concerned you more than anything.

“Jesus, what happened?”

“Mission mishaps. They happen sometimes, da’lin’.” John told you soothingly as he attempted to press a kiss to the crown of your head, but wincing when he felt the pain shoot up his spine.

“Sounds to me like more than mishaps. There’s no way all four of you are injured and it was just a ‘mishap’.” You scolded them as you carefully helped them off their gear, multiple men groaning and grunting in pain as the heavy weights were shed from their torsos.

“Have you been checked?”

“Yes, we went to medic before coming over-” Kyle told you.

“And they let you leave on foot? You look like you all should be on bed rest!” You scolded them.

“And that’s why we’re here.” Johnny added before letting out a groan when you moved his arm, sending pain barreling down his arm.

“How in the-” You murmured as you noted the patched up bullet wound.

“Don’t ask…” Kyle muttered under his breath, a whimper of a sound that you had never quite heard from him.

They were like lost puppies… Needy for being lulled to sleep by a soft hand caressing them behind the ears after some nasty man kicked them on the street.

So that’s how you ended up with four injured soldiers in your house. Ghost took the living room couch, leaving the bed for John and Kyle and Johnny.

“Don’t get any blood on my bed, Johnny!” You warned him. “If something happens, you call me.” You had added as you made sure they were as comfortable as can be before you slipped out of the room.

Reaching the living room, it was now well past 4 A.M. Simon was lying there, one leg swung over the back of your couch, and eyes locked on the shower. “You okay, Simon?” You checked softly.

“Fine, sweetheart.”

“Don’t look fine to me.” You retorted and sat on the armchair by his head, looking down at him, your hand finding his and caressing it.

He twitched a bit against the pillows, brown eyes fluttering for a moment as he took a deep breath. “Mission went tits up. Strained ourselves trying to finish.”

“You too, then?” You asked him and he nodded. “Where?”

“Everywhere. I’m sore all over… And I think I have a fever.” He admitted.

“Do you wanna try a shower?” You suggested and he shook his head.

“I don’t wanna stand up for that long… I get dizzy.”

“And a bath?” You added.

“…” Simon didn’t answer but he groaned and forced himself to stand up. You helped guide him to the bathroom.

After lowering the stopper and allowing the water to flow into the tub, you looked at Simon. “I’ll be outside, okay? I’ll give you privacy.” You told him softly.

Leaning up, you kissed his pale cheek, and turned away…

Only for him to catch you by the wrist. “Stay.”

“What?” You asked him, unsure you heard him right.

“Stay. Please.” He requested.

“But… you said you didn’t-” You trailed off, the memory of his fear of exposing his body to you (or anyone) clear in your mind.

“I know what I said. Just… Please.” He insisted.

“Okay.” You replied and nodded, stepping forward again. He reached his arms up, painfully slowly, the same way John and Kyle and Johnny had.

You grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and slowly rolled it up, your eyes finding his scar-riddled torso for the first time. Blotchy skin due to chemical burns here and there, big gashes and smaller cuts spread throughout.

Simon was looking away the whole time as you helped him off his cargos and underwear. The injuries continued down his legs, every inch of him nasty and ugly, only due to how brutal his scars were. In reality, it all made no difference to you.

“You okay?” You checked on him. He nodded slowly, his eyes screwed shut.

“Let’s get you into the water, okay? It’ll do you good.” You said as you grabbed him by the bicep and helped get him into a seated position inside the tub.

Then, you knelt by his side just as he was grunting in relief, his muscles relaxing in the water. 

The bathtub that had felt tight with you and Johnny in it months ago, now felt even smaller with Simon Riley in it. 

Grabbing the sponge, you carefully ran it over his torso and shoulders, wetting the part of him that didn’t fit in the bath.

The blond leaned his head back on the wall and opened his eyes, finding you looking at him.

“Thank you.” Simon told you in a whisper.

“For bathing you?”

“For dating me.” He replied, causing you to smile.

“My, Simon, you might be sicker than I expected. Where’s the confidence?” You teased him good-naturely, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Was never here. Just faking it until I made it…” He admitted and shook his head, letting it lull against the tiles.

“I see, well… It worked.” You joked as you kept wetting his body carefully.

“We’re lucky to have you.” He murmured. “You didn’t have to do this. To put up with us.”

“It’s not putting up if I like you.” You told him. “Besides… you take care of me. I take care of you. Mutually beneficial, that’s what a relationship should be.”

“I don’t take care of you because I like you.” Simon whispered, a drowsy look in his tired eyes.

“Then what for?” You asked him. “Because you want to shag me that bad?” You joked again and winked.

“No… because I love you.” Simon muttered, his lips a bit lazy in the way he said it, clearly too relaxed and tired and groggy to really think straight.

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped open, your hands going limp and dropping the sponge. “Simon…”

“You don’t have to say it back.” He said as he rolled his head against the tile wall, side to side. “Just wanted you to know.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[lovifie]

Lift Me Off My Feet

Chapter 9: Soap’s Date

Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

W: Soap x Reader (+ Ghost), sex on the exterior, lots of butt stuff, oral sex, anal sex, phone sex, Soap being an absolute mutt as usual, voyeurism. I think that's it.

“Tell me again, Johnny.” You say yawning, looking back at Johnny as he finishes getting everything in the car. “Why are we leaving so early? The sun is not even out.”

“Because, mo ghraidh, I only have a day with you for myself alone.” He says once he has secured everything, he closes the boot and opens the driver's side door to sit down behind the steering wheel before he keeps talking. “And we have already wasted 4 hours.”

“I wouldn't call it waste, you know? Taking into consideration humans are supposed to sleep 8 of them.” You say chuckling when you see him pout and you move your arm over his seat to rest your forearm on his shoulder and caress the back of his head. 

“Do you no longer love me, bonnie?” He asks, dramatically sighing and covering his eyes with a hand. 

You playfully slap his shoulder. “If the military ever fails you should pursue a career in acting, Johnny.”

“Will you be my date when I get my second Oscar?” He asks, completely dropping the act of being sad to look at you smiling.

“Your second?” You ask chuckling.

“Yeah, sorry, I already promised my first to Gaz.” He admits, making you laugh out loud. 

“Fine, fine. Second Oscar for me then, got it.” You say smiling, taking your arm back to fasten your seatbelt when Soap does the same.

The sun is just starting to rise by the time he turns off the engine at the top of the cliff. 

“What you think?” He asks, smiling when you lean down resting on the dashboard to see more clearly. 

“Almost as pretty as you, Johnny.” You say cheeky winking at him.

“Hey, you stole my line!” He complains, a little pink blush on the top of his cheeks. He opens his door to get out making you chuckle at his escape attempt. 

You try to open your door, setting a foot outside just to be pushed back inside by a hand on your face. Once you are back inside he closes the door, waits a second and opens it back again holding a hand for you 

“Oh, my. Such a gentleman, Johnny.” You say sarcastically making him chuckle. 

“I know, right?” He says with a boyish smile that makes you want to squish his face. 

You finally step out, letting him close the door behind you. He goes to the back, opens the boot and hands you the bag with food so he can take the tent out. 

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to sleep in the car?” You ask, seeing him pick up everything else.

“To sleep maybe, but to do to you what I'm planning to do… the tent is better.” He says, winking at you and making you blush this time. 

“Oh, wait, what you said yesterday…” you trail off.

“I meant it.” He says chuckling. “As long as you want, of course.”

“Yeah, no, that's not it…” you say, a nervous feeling bubbling up in your stomach. He quickly catches it, dropping everything on the floor and walking up to you, cupping your face with his hands and kissing you softly. “Don't worry your pretty head about the bureaucracy, love. I'll make sure to eat you out long, and sweet, and nicely.” He says between kisses making you melt in his hands. “And I'll make you cum again, and again, and again. I'll get all soft and needy, by the time I get my dick in your tight little ass you'll be such a mess the only thing you'll be able to think it's about how good it feels.” He says, looking at your eyes. “Sounds good?” He asks, and you quickly nod as if you couldn't feel your panties starting to get moist. “Perfect, let's get everything set.”

He pats your head with a kiss to your forehead and picks everything back up, turning around the car to where he wants to set the tent and you are left stunned for a moment before you pick yourself up and walk after him.

He sets up the tent with ease, giving you orders to help him when a second person is needed (not that he couldn't set it on his own, he could easily. But he uses it as an excuse to walk behind you, grinding against you as he does; his hand travelling up and down your body) and by the time the tent is ready and everything is tidy; you are already an absolute mess. Grumpy with need and bothered by his apparent lack of effect.

“What has your knickers on a twist, bonnie lass?” He asks, chuckling when he sees your arms crossed.

“You!” You say simply, sitting down on the mattress. 

“Me?” He asks smiling, laying down next to you propping his head on his flexed arm. “Or the thought of me fucking you silly, mo ghraidh?”

“Johnny!” You exclaim, trying to slap his chest but he catches your hand pulling you on top of him. “Don't be nasty…”

“Oh, love. Don't play coy on me now, I know you love it when I speak pure filth to you.” He says, his hand pulling your leg up so you are resting closer to his face. “Am I wrong?”

You advert his gaze, looking at his hand on your thigh. “I don't know what you are talking about…”

He laughs, shaking you with him. “You are a smart girl to try that with me, if you tried that with Price he would have you crying already for spanking you like a brat, you know?”

“You sound like you are speaking from experience, Johnny boy.” You joke smiling looking at him, thinking he is just bluffing.

“Oh, I do.” He answers right away, smiling at the memory. You look at him with an eyebrow raised, the mental image of Soap lying on Price's lap getting his ass beat is interesting if anything. “Ha… you wanna see it, don’t cha, nasty girl?”

“You know what? I may get you in trouble just to see it.” You joke, saying it only to get a raise out of him. 

“Keep being naughty, and I'll be the lucky one seeing it.” He says, grabbing a handful of your asscheek and gripping it hard until you whine about it. Feeling as if you just got slapped on the ass without the kinkiness of it. “Take off your clothes, love.”

It takes you by surprise the sudden change in action. “Like that? Just… straight at it?” You ask, a bit dumbfounded.

“Well, we can go on a hike if you prefer it.” He says chuckling when you put a disgusted expression on your face. “Then get naked.”

You oblige, trying to keep the facade of mild annoyance, while he takes his clothes to sit down and you can't help but stare at his jet to get hard dick. 

“You are not even turned on, Johnny.” You say, looking at him with a smirk. “Need a hand?”

“Oh, no, don't even worry about it, love. It's just a matter of time, and the earliest I get my mouth on you the earlier it'll get hard.” He says smiling, his hands pulling you closer and down on your stomach on the mattress. 

“Wait.” You say, propping yourself on your elbow to look back at him. He raises his eyes that were looking at your naked ass to look at your face with a worried expression. “If I don't…”

“If you don't like it.” He cuts you off, leaning forward close to your face. “I stop. If you don't like the ass attention but want to keep going I'll humbly go apeshit crazy on your godly cunt and if you simply are not in the mood for action, I'll go behind a tree and fuck my fist like a monkey.” He says, exaggerating his choice of words to make you smile; you cup his face when he gives you a peck looking into your eyes for reassurance. “Alright, love? Talk to me, alright? I'll have my mouth busy, not my ears.” He jokes, taking away the little nervousness left on your body. “Get your ass up, on your knees. I want to taste that delightful cunt of yours, love.”

You smile, softly slapping his face with playfulness and get on your hands and knees, bending down and crossing your arms to rest your head on them; arching your back leaving Soap the full view of your cunt and ass when you slightly spread your legs. 

“Fuckin’ ‘ell, birdie. What kind of ring do you want? I'll buy it for you tomorrow, you just gotta ask.” He mumbles, feeling his breath getting closer and closer to your wetness. A sigh escapes your mouth when you feel his tongue go flat from your mount up to your ass leaving a kiss on the small of your back at the end. “Fucking delicious, bonnie.”

He does again, and again, and again; you look between your legs and you see a glob of your arousal mixed with his spit stretching down from your cunt right onto the tip of his hardening tip making him grunt at the same time you moan because of the filth of the image. 

He plants both his hands on your ass, spreading it to have better access to your crying cunt; shoving his face against it but still delightfully slow. It catches you by surprise the calmness with which he is doing it, it is still by no way methodical, but it is not as chaotic as you expected. It's slow, tongue hard against your fold making you feel every twitch of the muscle and groans that leave his throat which accompanied by the way he’s thrusting the air unconsciously makes you wonder who is enjoying more. You feel your orgasm approach, surprising you again, there has not been an increase in the speed or a change of focus from him. Just lazy swipes of his tongue on your cunt up to your asshole, but you shudder when you come; ecstasy flooding your nerves and making you moan his name. But it's not the kind of orgasm that leaves you shaking and silly-minded, is the type that makes you move your hips back looking for more, angry at the betrayal of your body for coming so fast.

“That's a good fucking girl.” Soap groans against your pussy and you hear the smile on his voice. “Thank you for coming so fast, dear. I couldn't wait to get my tongue inside your ass.” He says, biting down on your asscheek making you whine. 

He moves back, sitting down between your legs and he moves his hands under your body pulling you back against his face before he licks right on your hole. You moan at the feeling, the nastiness of it all only fueling the pleasure. “Ghost is going to be so fucking jealous I get your arse all for myself, birdie. You have no idea.” 

“Fuck, Johnny…” you moan, pussy throbbing at the lack of attention. You try to reach it with your hand, needing to feel something inside. 

“Now, what in the hell do you think you are doing?” He asks, annoyance in his voice when he slaps your hand, your pussy getting slapped in the process as well making you hiss. “Are you so greedy you can't even let me get my fair share of your ass? You just came, birdie. You just can't simply wait to get stuffed, right?” 

You whine, too embarrassed to admit it but horny enough to push your ass back against him. He lands a hard smack on your ass making you cry, grabs both of your hands making you rest your body weight on your face when he moves them both behind your back and dives back on your ass making you moan.

He has you bent almost in half, your thigh pressed against your chest squishing your tits which Soap takes to his advantage when he starts to thrust forward rubbing his tip between them almost edging himself with the light touch. 

He groans against your asshole, the tip on his tongue probing again and again, slowly but surely getting deeper until you feel his teeth on your skin, tongue as deep as possible making your eyes roll back when he moves it in and out, thrusting his tongue onto your ass. 

His tip pouring a droplet of precum down between your tits up to your neck like a delicate necklace and you twist your wrist needing to grab his hand. He interlocks his fingers with yours, and if the situation was different you would laugh at how it feels more intimate to feel his hand on yours than to feel his tongue inside of you. 

You are a babbling mess by the time he decides he has had enough, mind so blurry you can't even tell if you came again. He ate your pussy as if he was kissing it, soft, gentle and calm. But at some point after that, when your ass got into the mix, it changed into a Soap with almost a primal need to get as deep as possible inside of you. 

He lays you on your stomach, still not letting go of your hands. You hear him look for something in the bags, and he drops it beside your head a second later. You turn your head to the side and you see what he found; a bottle of lube and his phone currently on a call. 

“Who-” You question get cut off by a gasp when you feel Soap's tip rub your clit.

“Pickup, c’mon, pickup, pickup, pickup.” You hear Soap mumble over you, the ringing of the call still going. 

“What, Johnny?” The unmistakable sound of Ghost's voice erupts from the phone and you furrow your eyebrows.

“Fucking finally, Lt. Look out the window, now.” The scotsman orders, which makes the mancunian chuckle at the desperation. 

“Johnny, what are you-” Your question gets cut off by a moan that could easily classify as a scream when Soap bottoms out inside of your cunt in one swift thrust. The stretch making little white dots appear on your vision and you damn well if you were not dripping with arousal he would have broken you in two. 

“Oh, hi, birdie. I see you are having fun.” Ghost says chuckling. “Go easy on her, Johnny.”

“I can't…” Soap mumbles, his head resting on top of yours. “So fucking tight, I just know her ass is going to choke my dick so nice.” 

The two men talk about you as if you were not even there, the stinging sensation quickly dissipates when he starts to thrust; slowly as if asking for forgiveness for his lack of control just a moment ago. 

Soap bends down, moving a hand under your jaw to pick your head up. “Look at the window, birdie.” He says. You are completely confused for a second, barely able to see the building in the distance, let alone a window. “Do it, Ghost.” 

In that second, an almost missable flint of lights appears on one of the windows catching your attention. “Do you see me, birdie?” Ghost asks through the phone. “Because I can see you.”

Soap groans over you. “Oh, she sees you, Lt.” He chuckles. “And by the way she's clenching. She likes it.”

“Aww, does our little bird like to be watched?” Ghost coos, amusement in his voice. 

“Hmm, ‘s you.” You mumble between moans, struggling to articulate the words.

“What is it, love?” Soap asks, bending down to kiss your shoulder as his hips slowly stop to let you talk.

“I like it… cause is you…” You half whine, embarrassed to say it more clearly. But it is more than enough for Ghost, who feels his heart and dick throb at the declaration. 

“Johnny.” He groans.

“Yes, Lt?” Soap answers, same struggle as you.

“Do me a favour… fuck her nice… and turn on the camera.”

“Gladly, sir” He says straightening himself, picking up the phone and the lube on his way. He turns the camera on, pointing it to where the two of you are connected; opens up the lube bottle before dropping a blob over your asshole.

“I bet you wish this was you, ah?” Johnny smiles as he teases Ghost, his thumb pressing down on your hole slowly before entering with ease thanks to the lube and the fact you are already fucked out of your mind. 

You moan softly when he does, pressing his finger down against the thin wall between his finger and his dick that is still inside of you. He grabs your asscheek, thumb still inside, spreading you for Ghost to see. 

“You are a bloody lucky bastard, Johnny.” You hear Ghost groan, sounds of clothes being moved around can be heard from the phone. “But don't test it.”

He removes the thumb, getting his index in instead; moving it in when he moves his dick back, and the finger out when he moves his dick in. It's such an alien feeling, the stinging from the stretch long gone and replaced with the arousal of his finger and dick moving in and out.

“Hold the phone for me, love.” Soap says before changing the camera to front view, you hold it over your shoulder letting Ghost see the way Soap is working you open on his fingers. 

Soap grabs the lube again, spurring it over his finger generously before adding a second one; the phone shaking on your phone when you moan at the stretch. He scissors his fingers opening you up, his dick still moving slowly inside of your drenched cunt; more to keep your mind busy with pleasure than for his own. 

There is something so filthy about the whole ordeal, doing something “prohibited”, the sound of Soap shaking the lube bottle, the sound of the lube being squished onto your body, the sound of his fingers fucking it inside of you, the sound of your pussy sucking his dick in. 

He takes his time, making sure you are stretched nicely and loose, wanting to make you feel nothing but pleasure when he finally fucks you. It takes him four fingers inside of you to feel like you are ready for him. By that time, you are an absolute mess; using every bit of strength left to hold the phone. 

And your mind can't help but wonder about how it would be if Ghost was also in the tent, if Soap was not opening you up for himself but for his lieutenant. How it would be to be in between the two men.

“Johnny…” you moan, desperate for more. “Please…”

“Sshhh, birdie.” He shushes you when you cry for him. “I know, baby, I know.” He bends down, kissing your back and slowly taking his fingers out. “I'm gonna do it slowly, alright? Don't hold your breath, just relax.”

You nod eagerly, needy of the feeling of his hips hitting yours. Johnny moves your hand with the phone, holding it down so he can see your face on the screen when he fucks you. 

And when his tip catches your puffy hole, your eyes close and your jaw falls open leaving your mouth in an o shape. But you do just as he said, relaxed taking deep breaths as you feel the man split you open. 

“C’mon, bonnie lass. Let me in.” Soap grunts in your ear when you clench down out of pleasure. He kisses your neck, under your ear, making your eyes roll as you bite your lips; relaxing and allowing him to keep pushing his hips. 

Mumbles can be heard from the phone, the man struggling to stay quiet at the sight of his lovers getting their brains fuck out together. He has had his dick out for a while now in the solitude of his office, not wanting to touch it leaving it red and angry. But the sounds of your and Soap's moan in harmony is enough to have him fisting his dick, squeezing his tip, milking the firsts bead of precum out of it.

Soap thrust shallowly, wanting to move but hating the thought of leaving your warm body. You can feel him drool on your shoulder blade and you would make fun of him if you weren't on the same train. 

“Let me see it, Johnny.” Ghost grunts, the sound of spitting in the background of the call.

Soap whines, hating his devotion to the british man that makes his body move before he can acknowledge it. He holds your thigh raising it and turning you to lay on your side with a leg in the air and Soap lying behind you. He picks the phone from your hand, resting it on the lube bottle so Ghost can see the way he fucks you and both their faces at the same time. 

Ghost groans at the sight, his fist moving faster; the image on the phone shaky with the speed at which he fucks his hand. But the way you moan when Soap begins to thrust inside and out of you is enough to have Ghost pull his head back with a groan. 

Soap sees the way you furrow your eyebrows, such an exquisite feeling but still needing the extra stimulation of a hand on your clit. And you have been such a good girl? How can he not obey your needs when you have been so good? 

So he uses his lubed hand, trapped under your body, and moves it down to rest on your puffy clit, rubbing circles on it. Slowly at first, just as his thrusts; rising up the speed of both at the same time. 

It has you curling your toes, moaning his name to the cliff just outside the tent. He locks his arm under your knee, pulling it closer leaving you even more exposed and he starts to kiss your body. On your knee, your thigh, your temple, your cheek. He can barely do it, just smearing his spit-covered lips over your body leaving a sticky trail of saliva over you; whining when he can’t manage to kiss you on your lips fast enough. 

Ghost is edging himself, he knows it, he's slouched on the chair; having slipped down on it when thrusting up to his fist. His feet hurt with the way they are arched to keep him seated and his elbow is in an awkward position under the armrest. Still, his hand is moving so fast is just a blurry image and he knows that the moment either of you comes he'll follow.

So when he finally hears you moan, loudly enough that if he wasn't on a phone call he would have heard it from the window, making Soap grunt as he bites down on your shoulder as he comes as well deep inside of you. Ghost can't help it but to moan, throwing his head back, phone falling on his chest as he needs the extra hand not to fall from the chair as he cums over his hand and onto his abdomen. Phone rising with his breath, finally seeing the way your legs shake after you cum; Soap letting your leg down to rest and hugging you tightly against him as he kisses your face. Smiling when he sees you melt into his arms, and the two of you look like cats grooming each other. 

“Thank you for calling, Johnny. Enjoy your date, birdie.” He says, still breathing hard before hanging up, struggling to find the energy to clean up and get back to work. 

“You did so good, birdie.” Soap says, kissing your cheek. “Did you like it, lovie?”

You nod, unable to speak with your eyes unfocused on the ceiling of the tent. “Yeah… yeah I did…”

He chuckles behind you, kissing you again and again, his softening cock still inside of you and with no plan of leaving. 

It turns into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other warmth. You look up to him, smiling when you see him look down at you with a stupid smile on his face. You cup his face, smiling fondly when he leans into the touch. “Johnny…” you call, only getting a “hm?” as an answer. “Is it weird if I think I'm starting to fall in love with you guys?” You say, before realising you have just declared your feeling to most likely the worst of them to do so. Especially when you see his face shine in mischievousness, he laughs loudly before crushing you in a bear hug that has you ready to hear a bone pop. 

“AW, BIRDIE, I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL EVERYONE YOU LOVE ME THE MOST!”

“JOHNNY, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAI-”

Your attempt to defend yourself gets crushed when Soap kisses you harshly, making you whine and letting his tongue inside of your mouth. It is not much longer before you feel his dick get back ready into action, and let's just say you were really glad that Soap packed isotonic drinks for when you are finished that day.

Hi, my lovelies!! 💗💗💗

How have you been?

I already have the next one written, hehe. My plan is to write the rest and post it as I go, maybe work on some requests. Those of you waiting for Spidey and the new series, please just be as patient as you have been for this one it really means a lot to me ❤️

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[stellas-and-tonitruses]

these last 3 chapters more than ever have left me wondering about the timeline of spy x family and in particular,

donovan's age.

i'm not going to go too deep into the full timeline because i simply don't think we have enough info to make a real robust timeline, BUT i do think we can very feasibly approximate donovan's age with our current info.

I also won’t be using any precise years like 1964 or whatever bc at this moment in time I find that to be kind of useless, bc the only years we have happen very early in the story in background details and for a lot of those ones, I noticed endo had a tendency to just carelessly put whatever so long as it looked fine from afar, which includes news that were happening around the time of that chapter's release. SO unless he decides to explicitly highlight actual years, I’m not gonna be like “this happened in 1964 and that happened in 1953” and anything of the sort.

now, i shall partake in my least favorite activity.

✨math.✨

so uh buckle up my fellas and feel free to correct me anywhere where i might be wrong bc i am more than aware that math is NOT my strong suit!

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 97, 98 AND 99!

gonna start with the facts!

according to the spy x family EYES ONLY fanbook, henry henderson is 66 years old at the time of the current events of spy x family! in the past three chapters we have learned that there is a 3 year age gap between him and martha, so that would make her 63 years old currently.

as of the events of chapter 99, he is 22 years old (and martha is 19), assuming there wasn't any years-long time gap that was not mentioned within the chapter! which, it doesn’t seem like there were any MASSIVE time gaps, so I’ll be using those ages for calculating.

so, what all this means is that we are (roughly) 44 years into the past at the moment! previous info about the war of loid and yor's childhoods puts it at around 20 years old, so from where we are in the backstory, we still have roughly 20 more years before Luwen is attacked — clearly, because this first war has already ended with donovan still in school.

while we don't have loid's age, we do have yor's, who is 27 years old — meaning she was born around the time of henry being 39 years old, aka clearly neither loid nor yor have been born yet as of the events of chapter 99. too into the past for now!

now, how am i gonna get donovan's age out of all this?

simple! henry's his teacher and has a talk with him after his jail time.

like I mentioned previously, I shall be sticking to 22 for henry’s age here. it may not be fully correct, it may be a year or two off because we aren’t given concrete details on exactly how long he was in jail, so just take it with a grain of salt! it's only going to remain as a rough estimate until we get a definitive answer on donovan's age.

so! henry has a talk with donovan, but the conversation itself, while very important for the plot and especially for our understanding of donovan’s character, is irrelevant for this conversation. no, what's crucial here is what henry is holding. endo even highlights it by focusing an entire larger panel on it!

it's a history textbook for year 7 students!

it being a history textbook is very poignant for the conversation they're having, but the reason this is important to me is because it's very clearly a year 7 textbook.

now, i don't know how much of eden academy's curriculum is based on the uk! but because pretty much all of the architecture of it is based on eton college and endo has literally just returned from a london trip where he showed us he visited a kindergarten, so i think that's grounds enough for me to assume eden academy's year 7 is generally populated by children between 11 and 12 years old. luckily for me, that seems to be the general age for germany's secondary school year 7 too, so even if it's not the british one, it's still close enough!

with all that being said, if donovan is, say, 12 in that moment and henry is 22, that means there is a 10 year difference between the two of them, which, drum roll please, means donovan desmond is 56 years old when our story's events take place! assuming the war of loid's and yor's childhoods took place exactly 20 years ago (when yor was 7 and henry was 46), this would make him around 36 years old when he became ostania's prime minister! it would also mean he had damian at 50 years old, and if demetrius is 12 right now, that would mean he was born when donovan was 44 years old (and his birth would’ve been in the last years of the war).

so, rough events timeline based on all that, focusing on ages!

66 years ago: Henry Henderson is born.

63 years ago: Martha Marriott is born.

~56 years ago: Donovan Desmond is born.

49 years ago: Martha (14) transfers to Eden and meets Henry (17)

47 years ago: Henry (19) graduates Eden.

44 years ago: Henry (22) joins Eden as a teacher, in the same year becomes Donovan Desmond’s (~12) history teacher. Martha (19) graduates Eden and joins the Women’s Defense Auxiliary.

~44 years ago: Martha (~19) is presumed dead. Henry (~22) faces jail time. The war ends, and he marries.

27 years ago: Yor is born. At that time, Henry is 39, Martha is 36, and Donovan is 29.

~27 years ago. [REDACTED] is also born. Same as above, just approximate this time!

~20 years ago: Second war begins. Yor and [REDACTED] are ~7, Henry is ~46, Martha is ~43, Donovan is ~36. Yuri is born.

~12 years ago: Demetrius is born. Donovan is ~44, Yor and [REDACTED] are ~15, Henry is ~54, Martha is ~51, Yuri is ~8.

~10 years ago: Second war ends. Demetrius is ~2, Donovan is ~46, Yor and [REDACTED] are ~17, Henry is ~56, Martha is ~53, Yuri is ~10.

6 years ago: Damian is born (and most other kids in his and Anya’s grade). Demetrius is ~6, Donovan is ~50, Henry is 60, Martha is 57, Yor is 21, Twilight is ~21, Yuri is 14.

5-4 years ago: Anya is born. Damian (etc.) are 1-2, Demetrius is 7-8, Donovan is ~51-52, Henry is 61-62, Martha is 58-59, Yor is 22-23, Twilight is ~22-23, Yuri is 15-16.

1 year ago: Yuri (19) becomes part of the SSS. Anya is 3-4, Damian (etc.) is 5, Demetrius is 10-11, Donovan is ~55, Henry is 65, Martha is 62, Yor is 26, Twilight is ~26.

I HOPE THAT HELPS PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE?? melinda is not included bc we have nothing to go off of for her age outside of purely subjective things like her appearance.

super glad endo included the year 7 thing JAKLSDFKLSD

anyway thank you for reading!!! :DD

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 1: You Shouldn't Have Answered The Door

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter one of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing (once or twice), Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC,

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Present Day

Your head rests against your forearms on your desk, jerking upwards as a loud rhythmic knocking assaults the front door of your apartment.

What?

You think to yourself, rubbing your face with your hands. Your sketchpad was laid open on your desk beneath your head, the rough sketch of an egret bowing its head along the bank of a small pond splayed over the page in shades of gray. It would be the first in your new series of nature paintings that you would be unveiling in a month.

At least I didn't poke my eye out with the pencil. You think eyeing the sharpened point of the pencil that was dangerously close to your face a few seconds ago.

You turn your wrist to glance at your watch and note the time. It was an antique, square faced and strung on a simple black band, a reminder of a past life that you couldn't bear to part with.

Who would come see me at 8:00 am on a Monday?

For a minute you try to remember if you'd received a call from the curator of the gallery downtown, or if there had been a meeting or a lunch with your agent to discuss your next installment of work, but nothing comes to mind.

When you officially retired from being a hero you decided to become a full time artist, a hobby you had since you were a child. You hadn't expected it explode. You had enough money from your heroing career to live several lifetimes, not unwelcome given the fact that you couldn't die, not in the traditional sense at least, so art was supposed to just be a way for you to off steam. But you were happy with your life now, a lot happier than you had been when you were a hero on Payback. The thought of your previous employment with Vought sours in your mouth followed by the unavoidable thought of Ben that you push down with a well practiced sigh.

You didn't feel like reliving all that over again right now, though you knew it would probably happen later. It came in waves, especially at night when you found it difficult to sleep, the melatonin wasn't working, and all you really wanted was a hard drink.

Sobriety sucked.

The knocking persists, rattling around in your head like a bee trying to get out of a plastic cup.

"Fine. I'm coming." You shout standing up from your desk and making your way from the wall that serves as your studio towards the front door of your apartment, while trying to rub away the line the page made on your cheek.

Your apartment was the one extravagance you allowed yourself. Despite the amount of money you had, flashing it had never been a priority even in your hero days. The apartment was open concept with exposed brick walls, tall North facing windows that angled away from the inside and jutted outward over a raised wooden floored area that served as your studio. A large modern kitchen sat just to the right of the front door with stainless steel appliances, on another wall a tv hung above a leather couch and held a dark hallway that lead to your bedroom and the guest bedroom, the other walls were covered in your work, and the final wall held several bookshelves with art supplies and your vinyl record collection. A collection you started forever ago and that continued to grow with each passing year.

Need to get another bookshelf. You note looking at the limited space that remained.

You look through the peep hole in the solid metal apartment door. A tall dark haired man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a black duster and a thin younger guy with brown curly hair stare back at you.

"I don't want to buy any girl scout cookies." You shout through the heavy metal of the door.

The younger guy snorts.

"y/f/n y/l/n?" The dark haired man asks an accent tilting the ends of his words.

"Who's asking?"

He pulls out a badge, holding it up to the peep hole. "I'm Agent Butcher, this is Agent Campbell. We’re from the CIA, here to ask you a couple of questions about Soldier Boy."

At the mention of Ben's hero name you pause. You had avoided thinking about your former best friend as much as possible over the past forty years. Your relationship with Ben was complicated, the final few days you spent together even more complicated than the early years.

It hurt to compare what your life with him was like before you both became supes to the life you had together after. You had grown up together, forced into close proximity because your parents were friends and then became best friends yourselves. You stayed friends, before you both got injected with Compound V and a few years later moved on to Payback together. You were the only person able to keep Ben in check and as violent as his temper was, he didn't like to cross you. You were the only person who knew the real him, had been with him longer than anyone else. Not that he ever admitted that to you or admitted that he cared about you, but you thought somewhere deep down that he had to, felt at least something for you.

That was the problem. You were in love with him, cared deeply about him, cared more about him than anyone else you'd ever had in your life. On the night you finally slept together you were happy, you thought he felt the same way, and then the next day at his premiere you found him in the bathroom with Countess bent over a sink. The fight that followed had been your resignation from Payback and also the reason why you weren't there when Ben died.

Your jaw clenches together at the memory, followed by guilt. You were always there for him, you had his back just as he had yours, but the one time you hadn't been there-

You open the door to look at them. "The singer?"

"What?" Agent Butcher looks confused.

"The artist? Soulja Boy-" You arch a brow feigning confusion. "Because honestly I don't understand why the CIA would be asking me about that."

“No.” Agent Butcher holds up a photo.

You keep your face impassive. It’s a photo of Ben and you at a movie premiere the week before he left to go to Nicaragua. Both of you were standing in your supe suits, your own was a sleeveless black one piece suit with purple embellishments that traced from the sides of your ankles and stretched up under your armpits, while a dark hood covered your head and a black mask hid the bottom of your face. You always thought you looked more like a supervillain in it, but you were thankful that it hid your identity. It was so long ago, but you still remember that night clearly. The ridiculous movie, the afterparty where everyone was so tipsy and the smell of alcohol burned against your nose, and finally when you went to the bathroom and found Ben and Countess together, the immeasurable rage followed by heartbreak that you felt when you saw them.  Not to mention the fight that followed when Ben trampled all over your heart and stated that you meant nothing to him.

“You’re here to talk to me about my mom?” You flit your eyes back to the two men standing in the doorway, easily slipping into the lie that you and Legend invented.

“Your mom?” Agent Campbell looks confused.

“Yeah. Indigo? I mean y’all can come in if you want-“ You open the door wider, understanding that they won't leave, before you begin to move towards the kitchen. “I apologize in advance. I’m not quite myself, I was up late working.” You pause halfway into the kitchen. “I’m going to make some coffee, you guys want some?” You eye the man in the black coat. "Or tea?"

“Coffee is fine."

You find the coffee filters and shuffle through the cupboards to find a bag of coffee, still trying to wake up. Staying up late wasn't unusual for you. You tended to find the urge to create in the wee hours of the morning, not to mention everything that happened in the past kept you up.

You open the bag of coffee to smell the grounds, thinking that it will wake you up, but as soon as you do the smell of Agent Butcher and Agent Campbell washes over you.

You could smell the compound V in their veins pumping through their bodies with every beat of their hearts.

So, they're supes. You think to yourself, pouring the grounds into the coffeemaker. Which means they probably aren't from the CIA.

Despite the realization, you weren't worried. Your particular ability was a well-kept secret, a secret that only Ben knew despite you being on Payback. Stan Edgar and the others had believed that "Indigo," the hero name assigned to you, had enhanced strength and senses, but it was more than that. You had an ability that, if brought to the public, would probably land you in a government facility. Laying low had it's perks, your freedom was one of them.

You watch them begin to walk around your living room examining the artifacts of your new life, the one you crafted when everything fell apart. There wasn't anything in the living room to arouse suspicion that you were the original Indigo. The only remnants of your past life that remained were in a wooden trunk at the back of your walk in closet, hidden behind a collection of paint splattered overalls almost identical to the pair you were wearing right now.

"You've got a nice place." The younger guy says looking around.

"Thanks. It's rent controlled. I got lucky-" You fiddle with the coffeemaker to buy yourself some time.

Why were they here to ask me about Ben? It had been 40 years, hardly seems relevant now. And why were they pretending to be CIA?

"You're an artist?" Agent Butcher asks, staring at the canvas sitting on an easel by your desk. It was a collection of multicolored dark greens that swirled together, flecked with pieces of gold that shone in the brilliant sunlight from the wall of windows where your studio was.

"Yeah. And I tend to paint my best at night. Hence the coffee" You turn, placing your hands on the island to face the two men.

“You’re really good.” Agent Campbell says examining some of the canvases on the wall.

“Thanks.”

“So your mum eh?” Agent Butcher turns to look at you. You note the smirk on his face and incredulous raising of his brow.

He doesn't believe me. Hard not to. I don't age.

“Yes?” You raise an eyebrow to challenge him

“You look a lot like her.”

“Thanks. I think there’s a compliment in there somewhere.” You look from Butcher to the younger guy who has moved on to look at your vinyl collection. "And I'm pretty sure that most kids look like their parents. But I'm not a geneticist."

"NO WAY! You have a signed copy of Billy Joel's Glass House!" Agent Campbell shouts holding up the vinyl cover in awe.

"Yeah." You can't help but smile at his enthusiasm.

"How did you-“

"Hughie." Agent Butcher sighs.

The younger guy now identified as Hughie puts the record back with a frown, before turning back to the collection.

“But you have the same name.” Agent Butcher's eyes flit to yours.

“She named me after herself. I’m sure the CIA can locate my birth certificate."

“Right.” Agent Butcher smiles, but it’s tight lipped.

You stand there for another minute looking from Agent Butcher to Hughie, trying to think of why they're here. "So what do you want to know?”

“Well is your mum around-“

You allow your shoulders to droop and take in a shaky breath. "She died about a year ago. Cancer."

They weren't the first to come here and accuse you of being Indigo. Legend and you had come up with the farce to protect you, help you start over, but you hadn't wanted to part with your name. So other precautions were put in place: a funeral plot was purchased and a death certificate was issued as was a fake passport, I.D, and birth certificate that made you thirty two rather than over one hundred.

“Really? I thought Indigo-“ It’s enough to make Hughie turn around and look at you.

“Don’t read everything Vought says." You interrupt. "That experimental shit they put in her veins may have made her powerful, but it couldn’t protect her from that.” You sigh again to sell the lie, before turning to the coffee maker, to pour them and yourself a cup. "There should be some milk in there, sugar's in the bowl." You gesture to the refrigerator and the small blown glass sugar bowl on the counter next to the coffee maker.

Hughie moves into the kitchen to pour himself a cup, but Agent Butcher continues to eye you suspiciously.

“It wasn’t in the news.” He grunts.

“They covered it up pretty well. I mean do you blame them? One of the first supes gets killed by something like cancer. Can’t be good for Vought given they pride themselves on showcasing unstoppable heroes. I mean can you imagine if Homelander or Queen Maeve died of something like cancer? Doesn’t look good.” You shrug your shoulders and take a sip from the coffee in your hands. “What did you want to talk to her about?”

“Soldier Boy.” Butcher moves to the coffeemaker and it takes a strong amount of willpower to stop the urge to turn towards him, but you know that you need to act indifferent.

“Did she talk to you at all about him?” Hughie moves to one of the bar stools on the opposite side of the island with his coffee in front of him.

“Yeah.” You look down at the mug with a sigh, rolling the warm glass between your hands. “He really did a number on her. Plus towards the end she started seeing him everywhere."

The emotion that you summon is not fake. You allow a small amount to trickle over the dam you built to protect yourself from falling back into the pit you fell into when Ben broke your heart and then died. When you broke every piece of glass in your apartment and threw your couch through the wall.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Hughie looks sincere when he says it.

Why is someone like him hanging out with this guy? You think to yourself eyeing Agent Butcher again.

“It’s been hard. But I took care of her, sometimes it was only me. It’s kind of hard to restrain an 103 year old with super strength.” You smile to yourself at the joke.

“So you’re a supe?” Hughie takes a sip from his coffee mug.

“No I was just able to talk her down. Guess that first batch of Compound V doesn’t work the same way. Never transferred. Plus my dad wasn’t a supe so maybe it just diluted.” You shrug, the lies weaving easily through the air. 

“But she did talk to you about him?” Agent Butcher presses. He's leaning against the counter to your left.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“I mean what do you want to hear? There’s a lot.” The mug sends a pleasant warmth through your hands as you hold it, but does little to stop the chill of the past from creeping up your spine.

“Start at the beginning.”

“Well.” You take another sip of coffee. “I don’t know details-details but- I just know that she grew up with him, they were from the same neighborhood in Philadelphia.  All that shit they made up about Soldier Boy being from a poor family was just propaganda. His dad owned half the steel mills in the state of Pennsylvania. Used to invest in property with my grandfather. Soldier Boy and my mom were friends. When he got the Compound V shot, she did too. They were looking for female and male volunteers. I think he asked her to? Or-“ You shrug your shoulders to push away the memory of the day Ben told you about the experiments. When he told you he was finally going to make something of himself and convinced you to go with him.

“They were dating?” Agent Butcher asks.

The question makes you pause. It was difficult to think about that, difficult to relive the memories of Ben continuing to push you away and his final refusal to admit he loved you. Ben never did say that to you. You had been through so much together, so many years as friends and then after the night you finally were together he threw you away like you meant nothing.

“No, but he really hurt her-“ You avoid their gaze.

“What did he do?” Hughie asks leaning forward on the counter.

“They had been through a lot together and I think when their friendship began to transfer to relationship he pushed her away. My mother said something about him refusing to admit he loved her. I think the last straw when she caught him with Countess.”

“Do you know anything about how he died?”

The memory of the phone call strikes you in the chest, when Stan Edgar himself called to tell you Ben was dead. When the darkness swallowed you whole and all you felt was guilt and heart break over the fight you had and how you left him alone when he needed you most.

“It hurt my mother a lot. Broke her. She never really got over him, no one was good enough, not even my dad. She drove him away too and then it was just us.”

“Was she there when Soldier Boy died?” Hughie spins the coffee mug in his hands.

“No. She left Payback  before that mission. It was right after she caught Countess and him together.” You force a shrug. “I think she regretted not being there. She was almost as indestructible as him, but I think she felt worse because they had a big fight right before.”

“So she didn’t know about Nicaragua or the thing that killed him?” Agent Butcher raises an eyebrow.

You cock your head to the side feigning confusion. “What are you talking about? Soldier Boy got vaporized in a nuclear explosion.”

“Well I think we’ve wasted enough of your time.”

They get up to leave.

“Wait-“

 Agent Butcher turns to look at you. 

“Why are you asking me about him? It's been what? Forty years since he died-"

"That's classified love. Thank you for your time."

You watch them leave, but listen to them as they walk down the hallway.

“So do you believe her?” Hughie’s voice echoes in your ears.

“Not a bit. Maybe we trail her for a day. See if she really is an artist." Agent Butcher grunts. "At least until we go to Russia."

Russia? Why would they go to Russia?

You stand there for a second, holding the coffee mug in your hands. As you do the memories of the past 90 years wash across your mind, breaking through the damn that you built to protect yourself.

You were friends for years. You loved him since the moment you met. There were good times before the serum and then the bad, when he got famous and you were there to keep him in check. Sure you may have annoyed him, but he liked that about you, that you were able to bring him back from the edge. The day you finally had sex you remembered it, it was special, or you thought it was. You were excited that finally he loved you as much as you loved him. But then it all fell apart. That fight hadn’t been pretty. When you left him you felt yourself begin to slip, you didn’t eat or drink for days and when you finally got the phone call you thought it was him trying to apologize, but it was Stan.

You think again about Russia and finally your mind drifts to Countess.

She was the one that said that the Russians killed Ben, she saw it happen, saw his body get taken away-

Your jaw clenches together in anger and frustration as you remember the last time you saw her, when she taunted you and you almost ripped off her head. You never heard it directly from her that Ben was dead, only heard it from Stan. Of course the ridiculous funeral for Ben that you were expected to go to would mean that you saw her, but you hadn't gone, didn't want to keep up the charade. Instead you went to Philadelphia and walked the streets aimlessly with a bottle of whiskey in your hand, remembering what it was like when you were kids. Sometimes you think it all would have been different if you never got the injection, if you said no when he showed up in your bedroom and asked you to come with him. He was your oldest friend. The only real person you'd ever loved or cared about. The memory of the fight rings in your ears but you push it down.

You think again about Countess.  She was the reason why Ben and you had the fight. The reason you weren't there in Nicaragua. Regret spikes in your chest. You should have been there that day, should have tried to save him. You always had each others backs and the one time you weren't there he died.

Maybe it was time to pay her a visit.

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373

[noira-l]

𝐒𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐭-𝐮𝐩

⋆ ★ '𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞' - 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

chapter summary: your first major argument that really shakes the foundations of everything, including your arrangement and its soul.

pairing: gojo satoru x f!sorcerer reader

warnings: is that angst?, hurt/comfort?, swearing, argument, adult life is kinda hard, mature themes, satoru is trying to say something, utahime is the best, spoilers (manga, anime, movie).

author's note: well, I had a rough day. Also, question. Should I open a tag list? Someone ask about this (I remeber you, love ~) So what do you think about the chapter and the idea? Let me know :3

"Listen to me, I've had enough. Screw it." You threw a kitchen cloth over the countertop.

"I'm here to help YOU. Not to do everything for you! You've dumped everything on me and you don't give a shit about anything," you shout, feeling like throwing it all away. He frowned. "You think I'm going to look after the kids by myself and you're going to have free evenings to go off on your own no matter where? Oh no no no. I'm not your fucking housekeeper for you to treat me like that." You pointed your finger at him, your tone rising even more. You felt like starting to laugh at the anger. "Fuck you. I'm not going to put up with this kind of treatment for a second longer." Your step left the sound of a loud thud. He started to follow you.

"You agreed to this yourself, you knew it would be difficult!" you felt like punching him. You picked up your backpack from the wardrobe. You were silent.

"I need time to myself, these missions are exhausting! Still! Taking over the clan, doesn't make it any easier for me at all, you know!" you didn't listen to him at this point, you were on the verge of exploding and you didn't want to do it.

"Don't act like a brat and listen to me!!!" he grabbed you firmly by the arm, you pushed him forcibly away from you, putting your shirts in your backpack. You packed the first necessary things that came your way. Your face was boiling with anger, you felt like shouting everything in his face, but you knew it wouldn't change anything. You clenched your teeth tightly and bit your tongue repeating to yourself - pack, don't think, leave. You passed him on your way out of the room. You were already at the door, started putting on your jacket, when he added:

"FINE! Go away, I never needed you anyway, you stupid idiot!"

The sound of the door slamming was everywhere.

★ --

calling…calling…calling…

"Hello?"

"Hi Utahime…" your voice gave away too much at that moment, as always "Could I stay with you for a while? I can't go back to the flat or to the facility" you grabbed your head, trying to contain your emotions. You were met with silence on the other side "Sorry to impose…. I won't… sorry… I'll go now- I…"

"N-no! It's all right! I'm just worried, what's wrong?" you could hear her worrying about you, you were on the verge of crying, all the anger was slowly draining out of you.

"U-Utahime…" your voice was shaking.

"Never mind, wait for me, please, I'll pick you up myself, I'll be there soon. Wait for me where you usually do, can you do it?"

"Mhm." tears began to run down your cheeks.

A long sigh "What did that idiot do to you this time?"

★ --

You spent the evening glued to a box of ice cream and a comfortable couch in Utahime's flat. You sat in her borrowed clothes, covered in a blanket, gesturing heavily as you expressed your emotions.

It started with an angry session in which you spouted off about what a horrible asshole Gojo is. You recounted in detail, how he forgot to pick up the kids from school, leaving them out in the cold often. How he was constantly late, whether to go shopping with you or to a parents' meeting at school. How he avoided household chores, which you later had to do after missions, and at worst his duties were filled by Tsumiki and Megumi. It wasn't that they didn't have household duties or didn't know how to take care of the house - no. You didn't know any more mature or understanding children, it was just that Gojo lived there too and should contribute as much as you did. For the last months, everything was done by you: laundry, shopping, cleaning, doing homework with Tsumiki and helping Megumi with calligraphy.

On top of that, you had missions that were also exhausting you mentally, coming home battered, in wounds because you didn't want to wake Shoko up at 3am and preferred to wait until morning. And every morning it was you, who walked the children to school. It doesn't matter if you were beating a powerful curse last night or if you slept at all. They always had breakfast ready, clothes and your smile every morning. You knew they deserved it - you wanted to give it to them.

As you came home from school on the days like this, did your shopping, went to Shoko's and came back, you thought of nothing else, but to lie down and rest. It was then that you allowed yourself moments of weakness, where you could carelessly cry all over the house, with no embarrassment that the children, or worse Satoru, would hear you. Your life has been awful for the last while. There have been better moments, but there have been far more of the worse ones.

It was then, that the crying session began.

You couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. You didn't say anything anymore. You just cried, hugging your pillow tighter.

Utahime only saw you cry once, that time when Geto left. And that was the only time. This one was the second.

She handed you a pack of tissues, which you took advantage of by resisting new tears. After which you immediately went back to hugging the lovely cushion.

Why did you agree to all this in the first place?

Why did you allow yourself to do something like this?

Looking after children is not an easy thing to do, especially when you are alone.

.

.

Suguru would never treat you like this.

If you thought before that you were more or less in control of your crying, so after that thought, you definitely lost all the control you had. It was no longer a cry. It was hysterical. And you are not going to snap out of it any time soon.

★ --

"What are you doing?" the white-haired sat on the steps, drinking a can of sweet drink. They had just finished their training.

"I'm going to talk to her." said the raven-haired getting up from his seat, heading towards the dormitories.

"HUH? What for? She's the one who blew up at you, after all. She should be making an effort now." He crushed the can with cursed energy. His friend sighed.

"You don't understand, do you? It is not that clear, besides I care about her. I understand her view of the situation and even though it's wrong, I'm willing to talk to her about it." Suguru put his hands in his pockets slowly moving away.

"Stupid, why bother." Satoru rolled his eyes looking at the training field.

"Because she is important to me, her opinion, thoughts and feelings are important." he turned towards him, he continued. "A joint solution to the problem is important. In moments like this, it's crucial to push away your tantrums and reach out to someone." Suguru looked ahead "There have been situations where I have made a mistake and she has come to me on her own" he smiled affectionately "I appreciate her for this approach and I love her for it."

-

Satoru opened his eyes, waking up from the slumber that had caught him. He rubbed his eyes, glancing at the clock; it was late at night. Instinctively, he glanced to the other side of the bed to find it empty and cold.

He clutched his head, remembering what had happened. He growled quietly. You haven't come back yet, it's past day two, he's starting to worry, the siblings keep asking about you too. And he doesn't know what to answer them. Should he say you're gone because of him? He's already punishing himself enough in his head.

He nervously turned on his bed. What should he do?

He knows perfectly well what he should do.

To go to you and apologise is difficult.

On the very first day he called all your friends, to find out where you were. Utahime only failed to answer, so he was sure you were there.

He growled rolling over onto his stomach in frustration. He hugged the pillow tightly, so that if it were alive he would have strangled it.

Why do you make everything so difficult?

It was supposed to be a simple arrangement: you help him with the kids, he provides everything you need. Like some stupid traditional marriage - he thought.

This was not how he had imagined it. In his mind, taking care of a kid was not that difficult. Oh boy, he was wrong. Originally he was only going to take Megumi in, you were the one who insisted that he couldn't separate siblings like that, and since you'd already agreed to the arrangement, you also had a say. He only agreed to it because you insisted.

He did not expect things to go this far. He never imagined that he would have to falsify the children's documents (Tsumiki was, according to the law, already unfit for adoption), look for a suitable flat that you could barely afford at first, or bother with the authorities and social services.

He himself was also too young to understand many things.

He knew that anything was better than letting the Zen'in clan get their hands on these kids.

He also knew that he would not have succeeded in many things without you.

His face clung completely to the pillow. It was your pillow, it smelled of you. He took it from your side as soon as he lay down.

Everything had been getting to him lately. Higher-ups had some doubts about him taking over the clan, which was ridiculous in general. His mother found out about his secret marriage, which meant he had to listen for hours on ‘how he had disgraced the whole clan’. He had to work twice as much, having a child and expenses were really considerable. Even if you shared expenses, Gojo did not yet have access to the clan's money, to throw his own money on left and right with ease. He also stopped feeling like a teenager at this point, by taking on these responsibilities, he has accept to a certain extent, the fate of an adult.

He didn't even notice, how much he started to run away from it, to distance himself, from his problems and worries. He was never in the habit of sharing his true feelings or emotions. Opening up to someone was blocked again when his best friend left. He knew, that he had let you look inside him once, at one memorable conversation. He was so weak in that moment, so shattered, after all that had happened. And you? You embraced him then, with a tenderness and care he could never have dreamed of. He knew that if only he opened up again now, you would do exactly the same. But he couldn't afford to do it again.

He didn't want to feel that he wasn't able to cope with something, again. It's silly, isn't it? He, the strongest, vulnerable?

But you saw him vulnerable. You didn't laugh at him, didn't mock him in that moment. You were tender, you showed him understanding, even if sometimes you didn't quite understand what he wanted to communicate to you, you tried. You hugged him close, stroked his hair, telling him that you would be there for him, whenever he needed you - you would be there for him, as long as he was there for you.

He wasn't there for you, was he?

He was so focused on himself that he forgot about you. You've had a tough time too, particularly with him. You were alone with it all. No. He left you alone with it all. That's not what your agreement was about, that's not how he promised to behave, that's not how he really was.

He acted like an asshole. He dumped all his responsibilities on you and yet had the audacity to complain, that you had not fulfilled one little thing, which was picking up his ceremonial outfit from the laundry, what he should do, but he was sent on mission.

A small tear appeared in the corner of his crystal eyes. It disappeared very quickly absorbed by the pillow. He shouldn't treat you like that. He sighed breathlessly, banging his head against the soft pillow.

Tomorrow he will go to apologize to you. Witnter snow was slowly falling outside the window.

He won't last another day without you.

★ --

"Utahime~~ Nice to see-" she closed the door in front of his nose, sighing with irritation, regretting that her apartment door did not have a peephole.

You just had breakfast, looking like a total crap. You just got up, even though it was late in the morning, according to your routine you should have taken the siblings to school long ago.

Hearing his voice immediately lifted your gaze from your plate. How did he find you? Why did he come here?

Ah, well, yes, he probably came to ask you to fulfill your part of the bargain and stop dabbling. You sighed. You couldn't stay at Utahime's for that long anyway, you didn't want to bother her, besides, you hadn't packed enough clothes and necessities.

You didn't want to see him at this point, but you had no choice. You spent the last two days crying, you were fed up with it yourself.

You moved away from the kitchen table, put your plate in the sink and headed for the door.

"Go away! Don't you understand that she doesn't want to see you!" Utahime shouted at the door, angrly.

"Ee~ Come on, open the door. I want to talk to her, she won't answer my calls and texts, what a man can do?" his tone did not at all betray how concerned he was about the situation. His mask was perfect enough, that he was even able to smile a little in this situation. Although he was quite cold, despite really warm winter jacket, in his kinda shakey hands he held a small bouquet of flowers behind him.

"Go to hell you moron, I also, don't want to see you too, go away or I'm calling authorities!"

"Don't be like that! Five minutes and I'll be gone! Do a friend a favour~"

"I'm not your friend!"

"Like hell you are! I saved you many times, that counts right? Like that time when I excorcise that curse that took you hostage for two days. Or that time when I-"

Utahime was about to hurl another insult in his direction when you placed your hand on her shoulder. “It's okey, give me a moment,” you whispered it so quietly that you wondered if you really said it. Her gaze expressed concern and yours expressed certainty. He had found you anyway, so why drag this out any longer? You knew he won't leave until you talk to him. “Call me as if you need something, or as if he doesn't give you a break." the violet-haired fell silent, moving away from the door and walking deeper into the apartment.

He didn't stop talking when you stood in front of the closed door. His yapping was unbearable, happily listing or coloring situations that happened to him with Utahime.

"Or when I-" he shut up when you open the door. He looked at you.

"You look like shit" he said.

"Thanks for noticing, something else to say?"

You had bags under your eyes, your voice was raspy and you looked paler than usual. When you looked in his direction, he could see how red your eyes were. He really messed up. He took a deep breath.

"If you came here to remind me of my duties, or to tell me that I'm going on a mission soon, or just to make fun of me, then go away and save us the time." you were so exhausted, however, seeing his face, which was smiling just a moment ago, gave you a new drive.

"I-"

"Ughh.. I am so done with this." you growled "You come here after two days and the first thing you find is that I look like shit? Thanks, I didn't notice!"

"Listen.." his voice is kinda...soft?

"NO! You listen!"

"O-okey..."

"Why are you acting like a brat? I've been doing practically everything for you for the past year! You disappeared for a few days, you didn't say anything, it's cool, I understand, you need space, yadda, yadda.." your voice has started to rise again "But damn it, that's not what we agreed on, I didn't sign up for doing all the work for this part of your life!" you clenched your hands into fists.

"Besides, I also have my own life, right? I'm not entitled to have a free time? Do you know how many times I came home after a mission completely tired? I wasn't at Shoko's more than once, I just went straight to make breakfast, because I knew YOU wouldn't do it!" he see how your expression is changing, now tears appear in your angry eyes.

"I-" he tried again, only to see that his voice stattered.

"Why do you do this to me?! Why can't you treat me like a normal human being?! What did I do to you?!" An avalanche of questions flowed from your mouth, again and again, just as tears covered your cheeks "Am I just a plaything to you?" you started to shake.

"N-no!" he tightened his grip on the bouquet.

"I fell so fucking used!" you started sobbing "You used me and my kindness to make life easier for yourself-" you sniffle "-you never cared about anyone or anything at all!" you looked at his winter boots, although your vision blurred completely.

"Stop! No-I-"

"I can understand, really, you may not feel anything towards these children, but me? I thought you really cared then! I thought you were sincere and open then, when…. we had… this conversation" you were slowly running out of words, the pace of this conversation was slowing down. You almost feel panic in your vains.

"Stop!" he grabbed you by the shoulder with one hand, and put the other to your lips, letting go of the bouquet of flowers, which fell to the floor. You didn't say anything anymore, you couldn't, he's hands were trembling.

"Please.. j-just..listen.." you wanted to turn away, he stopped you. The sight of you crying internally caused him pain, somehow.

"I-.. I am sorry..you're right." his voice was almost silent, despite the fact that he was close to you. Your eyes met his and despite the layer of glass, you knew he was looking at you.

"I-I am an idiot" his breathing was deep, as if saying these words made it difficult for him, or a great struggle, took his hand from your mouth, placed it on your cheek, his head went down "I've had.. I.. well.. the thing is.." he swallowed the massive lump that had gathered in his throat

"N-no.. ple-" you tried to say something.

"This.. this is hard..!! Just.." now his voice is trembling, you don't know what is happening.

"You.. don't know how hard are thing for me now.. I've.." long pause filled with nervous breath "Listen.. I know.. I've been awful to you.. y-you didn't deserve it of course.. I hurt you.. and I-I am sorry, so so sorry.."

"If this is some kind of trick to get me back-"

"No!" he imidietly put his sight to you, he look terriefied, you could see throught the glasses "I mean it.. " you looked away. He signed nervously.

"I left you with all of this.. I let you down.. I'm sorry.." he swiped away any tear that come close to falling down your red cheeks "I don't expect this to fix.. I m-mean my apology.. to fix anything.. but please" his hand was so cold, yet the sensation from this was so calming.

"Let me get this right.. I-I-I will never, ever let you down again.. one chance.. If you want to!" Do you want to? "If no.. I-I promise to back off! I leave you alone! I-I'll never hurt you again! and I'll do anything you say!" his words were speeding up "I will provide..I will make everything right.. I will try to.." his words were rapid, so fast, he almost couldn't keep up with saying every one of it. You started sobbing again. To much emotions cought you off guard.

"n-no don't cry.. please" he wispered, his second hand also landed on your cheek, you closed your eyes unable to even look at him.

He drew himself to you, embracing you whole. You could then feel how much his chest was rising in stress, and how wet his jacket was from the melted snow. His hair was also slightly wet, the glasses at his nose irritated your skin, they were so cold. But this embrace was warm, he held you like something important, precious even. Large hands stroked your back, his breath started to calm down, just like yours. You didn't know how long he held you like this.

"Please.." he started again "Try to forgive me. I.." at this moment you hugged him too, he pressed himself more to you.

"I don't want to lose you." You almost missed it, it was soft and silenty brethless, but it was full of emotions.

You waited, a long moment. A long moment when you thought about everything. You were thinking about him, your life, Tsumiki and Megumi. You didn't want to lose him too. In some way. He was the only thing that held you together. Also you don't know what you should do with your life, and he gave you a purpouse. A purpouse you were desperatly lacking. The kids gave you hope, and even thought you'll need to listen to his annoying voice every day, this is the price you could accept.

"Fine.." you said, gathering your voice to even be able to speak. You are far too soft for him. Oh, for fuck sake. "I.. forgive you.. for now." he froze.

You slowly left his embrace. Then grabbed him tightly by the collar of his jacket, pulling his face toward you "But if you do that again, I'm leaving. And don't even try to look for me. Understood?" you wanted to sound menacing, but your voice was so hoarse and the height difference between you was large enough, that it didn't work out well.

"Of course" smile appeared on his face again "You look cute y'know.." he mumbled, you let him go, growling, you looked down and see something behind his foot.

"What's that?" you asked, he quickly kicked something behind him, you heard something hit the ground on the bottom of the staircase.

"What?" he turned around to look behind and back, playfully "I don't see antything." his smile was so bright.

"Never mind." you signed.

"Let me take you home." this offer suprised you, Satoru could tell by the look "The kids miss you.. and I took your favourite take out." you looked at him suspiciously "I also cleaned the house and took kids to school."

"Now I don't belive you." you crossed your arms, he laught.

"You'll see when we get home." he corrected his glasses still smiling. "I did pretty amazing job, maybe even better than you."

"You're starting again?"

bonus:

You left Utahime's apartment thanking her for all she had done for you, saying that if she needed help, you were always available to her. She hugged you goodbye, measuring Satoru with a menacing gaze, and he waved her off, smiling goofily.

Walking down the staircase, Satoru took your backpack from you and gave you your gloves. The snow was still falling outside and it was quite cold.

When you were at the exit you noticed out of the corner of your eye a colorful bouquet of flowers, it was really pretty and quite small. You are sure you have seen these colors somewhere.

“Look.” you pointed your finger at the bouquet “Someone left it here, I wonder who it was for?” he scoffed.

“Quite ugly for me.” He didn't even look at it, just opened the door in front of him.

© noira-l 2024 | all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, modify, or redistirbute my work without permission

tl: @kalopsia-flaneur

[yparkwrites]

SON OF THE MOB SUNGHOON FF

Pairing: Mafia Sunghoon x Female reader (Y/N)

Content warnings: explicit content (smut), mentions of abuse, bruises, blood, etc.

Word count: 18k+

Synopsis: When Sunghoon, the son of Mr. Park meets a fearless girl everything will change around him as he tries to fight for his freedom from his father's nest.

Note: this is my first ever Enhypen ff, it is published on Wattpad as a complete story.

© 2024 Y. PARK WRITES. All Rights Reserved.

NO MINORS ALLOWED 18+ ONLY

Part 1 - 4

CHAPTER 5: Moving Forward

1

Three years had passed since the night Sunghoon had left Y/n, the night since he left a void in her heart. During those past years their circle of friends became bigger. Jay and Jungwon are additions to their circle. 

“How many years left before we graduate?” Yura asked, completely worn out due to their projects and exams coming up. 

“2 more years,” Y/n replied, chuckling at Yura’s presence, bags under her eyes and messy hair. 

“Did you guys hear the rumor?” Jungwon asked as he sat beside a sleepy Yura. 

“Jungwon, everyday you come with new rumors, new gossip, please give us a break,” Jake said, taking a seat as he placed his tray of food on the cafeteria table. 

“The new gossip is for Y/n,” Jungwon said smiling, raising both his eyebrows.

“Just spill it,” Jay said uninterested, worn out too, as he failed to get enough sleep the other night. 

“Sunghoon is back in town, a student said he saw him beating up a drunkard in the alleyway near the convenience store.” Jungwon said, catching Y/n’s attention. 

“What?” Jake asked.

“You weren’t interested awhile ago,” Jungwon retorted at Jake. 

“Well now you have my attention spill everything,” Jake argued back at him, widening his eyes a little.

“That’s the only information I know for now, but I heard that he’s gonna go back here anytime soon, and everyone should be prepared as he’s not the same Sunghoon from three years ago.” Jungwon said. 

Before Jungwon could add more details on what he had said the bell rang indicating that lunch was over. 

“Damn I’m not even done eating.” Jake said.

2 

Y/n sat in the library to study, she decided not to pursue business and study literacy instead, she doesn’t have many classes compared to when she was in business class. 

As she tried working on her reviewers, her mind kept drifting off to Sunghoon, especially to what Jungwon had said during lunch. “Is he really back?” Y/n asked herself, looking at the necklace around her neck, the necklace Sunghoon told her to keep. 

“Are you really back?” She asked herself again, touching the necklace. 

“You good?” Someone said from behind her, and it was their group leader, Heeseung.

“Yeah, just thinking about something,” Y/n responded, looking down at her books.

“If you’re thinking about what I told you yesterday, it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way,” Heeseung said, taking the empty seat beside her.

“No, it’s not that. It’s about the rumor.” Y/n replied.

“Oh Sunghoon? Yeah, it’s not a rumor, I saw him a while ago, he enrolled in our class, I don’t know why our class but what can we do about it.” Heeseung said, clearly frustrated that Sunghoon will be in the same class as them. 

“Do you hate him?” Y/n asked.

“It’s not that I hate him, but he’s gonna put everyone in danger,” Heeseung said.

“He won’t.” Y/n replied looking at him.

“You don’t know him Y/n,” Heeseung replied back.

“Neither do you, he protected me from getting hurt three years ago.” Y/n stated slightly raising her voice. Y/n started grabbing her books to leave.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you, but still.” Heeseung argued, holding her arm to stop her from leaving.

“You asked me, where I got the necklace, Sunghoon gave it to me three years ago before he left so that his father won’t try hurting me,” Y/n said, pulling her arm from Heeseung’s grip and leaving him alone in the library. 

3

“So you’re telling me, Heeseung told you he saw Sunghoon at the university?” Jake asked while driving Y/n home.

“Yeah,” Y/n responded. 

“And Heeseung pissed you off when he talked bad about him?” Jake asked. 

“Yeah, he’s talking like he knows him very well.” Y/n said, crossing her arms.

“Y/n we might know the old Sunghoon, but not the new one, the student that saw him the other night said he had changed completely, he’s like a different person,” Yura said, opening her eyes to look at Y/n.

“Well that’s just the gossip.” Y/n stated.

“It was on the news this morning that my mom watched, he killed the drunkard Y/n.” Yura replied, looking at her. “You don’t have to believe it, if you don’t want to, but I wouldn’t approach him first, if he approached you first talk to him, but if not, don’t.” Yura added.

4

At night, Y/n can’t fall asleep again. She grabbed the bottle of her sleeping pills, “It’s empty, great,” 

Y/n stood up from her bed and went downstairs. It was dark and quiet. She reached the kitchen, flipping on the light to search for something that can help her sleep. She sighed before opening the refrigerator, hoping a glass of milk might help her. 

She stood there, her thoughts consumed by what Yura had said, Sunghoon, a killer? That 's impossible. 

Y/n took her glass of milk and went upstairs to her room, she went out of the balcony as she stared into the night. She remembered the ball night, the first he held her in his arms, he kissed her and left her. 

Tears streamed down her face remembering that night. “What if they’re right?” Y/n asked herself. “What if he really changed?” She asked herself again. 

Y/n sobbed imagining the worst case scenario possible. 

5

The next morning, she texted Jake to let him know she was walking to the university to clear her mind.

Lost in her thoughts, she heard someone call her name and saw Heeseung approaching.

“Y/n, hey, you’re walking today?” Heeseung said.

“Yeah, just to clear my mind a bit,” Y/n replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

Heeseung sighed. “Y/n, look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I know I might have come off harsh. I don’t know your history with him, and I’m not really into gossip. I was just worried.”

“It’s fine, no worries. I just hate it when someone badmouths him. But I understand, it’s been three years, and he might have really changed,” Y/n said, her voice softening.

“You don’t mind if I walk with you, right?” Heeseung asked.

“No, it’s fine,” Y/n responded.

6

Due to their upcoming exams, Y/n decided to stay late at the university library, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Sunghoon.

“I should just go home,” Y/n mumbled to herself. She gathered her things and decided to call it a night.

She walked home to clear her mind. As she passed by her mom’s convenience store, she saw a familiar figure.

“Sunghoon,” she whispered. She watched him grab some snacks and pay for them. Their eyes locked for a brief moment. He looked at her, emotionless.

After a few seconds, he walked away without saying anything.

CHAPTER 6: He changed

1

Y/n stood there, her heart pounding as she watched Sunghoon walk away. She couldn’t let him leave without trying to talk to him. Mustering all her courage, she called out to him.

“Sunghoon!” she shouted, her voice trembling.

He stopped but didn’t turn around. Slowly, he looked over his shoulder, his expression unchanged, cold and distant.

Y/n walked closer, her steps hesitant. “Is it really you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Sunghoon turned to face her fully, his eyes cold and filled with confusion. “Excuse me?” he asked.

Y/n looked at him, her eyes welling up with tears. “Where have you been?” she asked.

“Do I know you?” Sunghoon asked. Y/n’s heart sank upon hearing those words. He didn’t remember her. She let her tears stream down her cheeks. Sunghoon sighed before turning to leave.

“You gave me your necklace before you left,” Y/n mustered all her courage to say. He looked back at her.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you, nor that necklace,” he replied, leaving her heartbroken. Just then, it started raining heavily, as if the clouds were crying with her.

“Y/n!” Someone yelled from behind her. She didn’t turn around, watching Sunghoon’s shadow disappear.

“Are you crazy!?” The same person said before dragging her into his car.

2

“Jake, what happened?” Yura asked as she brought Y/n a towel.

“I don’t know. She won’t say anything,” Jake replied to his sister.

“He doesn’t remember me,” Y/n mumbled as they both turned to look at her.

“Who?” Yura asked, sitting beside her.

“I saw Sunghoon. I saw him, and he doesn’t remember me,” Y/n replied, tears streaming down her face.

Yura hugged her, letting her cry on her shoulder while Jake watched, feeling helpless as her sobs grew louder.

3

The next morning, Y/n woke up with swollen eyes and a heavy heart. She couldn’t shake the image of Sunghoon’s cold, unfamiliar gaze. The weight of his forgotten memories pressed down on her, making it hard to breathe.

“Morning,” Yura greeted softly, bringing a cup of tea into Y/n’s room. “How are you feeling?”

Y/n took the cup, her hands trembling slightly. “I don’t know,” Y/n responded.

Yura sat down beside her, gently squeezing her hand. “Everything will be fine. By the way, we called your mom to tell her you had a sleepover here,” Yura said.

“Thank you,” Y/n said, taking a sip of tea.

The three of them went to the university together.

4

As soon as they walked inside the university, everyone was gossiping about something. Just then, Jay and Jungwon came running toward them.

“Slow down,” Y/n told them as they almost slipped.

“You wouldn’t believe it,” Jungwon said, panting.

“Sunghoon is here,” Jay said, smiling at Y/n, unaware of what happened last night.

“You’re not happy?” Jungwon asked as he noticed the lack of excitement in her eyes.

“I’m going to class,” Y/n muttered before leaving them at the entrance of the university.

“What?” Jay asked Jake.

“Sunghoon doesn’t remember anything,” Jake responded.

“Who told you?” Jungwon asked.

“Y/n saw him last night. He didn’t recognize her, so don’t talk about him for a while,” Jake said, following Y/n.

Y/n entered the classroom and saw him there, sitting beside her assigned seat. He looked up when he heard the door opening, and their eyes met. His gaze fell on her neck, where the necklace was now visible due to the sunlight shining into the classroom. He stood up from the seat. As he slowly approached Y/n, his eyes remained fixed on the necklace.

When Y/n noticed where his gaze was, she held the necklace and tried to hide it under her shirt, but before she could do so, Sunghoon grabbed it, pulling her toward him, making her wince in pain.

“It hurts,” Y/n mumbled, trying not to cry.

“Where did you get it?” Sunghoon asked coldly, pulling her closer by the necklace.

“You gave it to me. Please, it hurts,” Y/n said, but he didn’t let go. He pulled her even closer, making her wince in pain.

“Let her go,” Jake said as he approached them, trying to pull Sunghoon’s grip away from the necklace.

“It’s mine,” Sunghoon said, tightening his grip on the necklace, making Y/n wince again.

“You’re hurting her!” Jake yelled. By now, they had attracted the attention of other students.

“I’ll remove it. Please, it hurts,” Y/n mumbled as Sunghoon released his grip on the necklace.

Y/n removed it, and Sunghoon took it harshly from her hand.

5

The next day, rumors of Sunghoon losing his memories spread throughout the entire university.

Sunghoon arrived at the university, wearing the necklace. Students started whispering about how harshly he had taken it from Y/n.

“Sunghoon,” someone called him, and he turned around.

“What do you want?” Sunghoon asked Jake, clearly frustrated.

“Can we talk?” Jake asked him.

“We already are,” Sunghoon replied sarcastically.

“In private,” Jake said, glancing at the students whispering among themselves.

Sunghoon and Jake went to the parking lot.

“What happened to you?” Jake asked him.

“Nothing happened to me,” Sunghoon replied.

“You gave that to Y/n before you left her, left us,” Jake said, slightly raising his voice.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ve never seen you or that girl in my life,” Sunghoon replied. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be late,” he added and turned to leave, but Jake held his arm.

Sunghoon grabbed Jake’s collar and punched him.

“What, are you going to kill me too?” Jake asked as he held Sunghoon’s collar.

Sunghoon was about to land another punch, but someone pushed him off Jake. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Y/n yelled at him.

“Stay out of my business. Next time, I’ll put a bullet right in your skull,” Sunghoon said before walking away.

6

During lunch, they all sat in front of Y/n’s mom’s convenience store.

“What has gotten into you?” Yura asked Jake.

“He really changed,” Jake said.

“Why would you even approach him after what happened yesterday?” Jay asked him.

“I wanted to clear things up, to see if he really lost his memory or if he’s just pretending,” Jake responded, eating his sandwich.

“Well, that was a dumb idea,” Y/n said.

“Is your neck okay?” Jungwon asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Y/n responded, smiling a bit at them.

“So, did you think about what Heeseung told you?” Yura asked, raising her eyebrows to tease her.

“I don’t like him,” Y/n responded.

“Oh, then I’ll take him,” Yura said.

“Yeah, do that,” Y/n said, chuckling.

[sunny44]

All these years (Part 3)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex girlfriend! Reader

Warnings: slap, fights and maybe more things

Summary: Separated by a disagreement, Charles and Y/n meet again after years apart and all the feelings they had repressed come flooding back.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

My parents had already left for dinner at the Leclerc house and I was already showered and getting ready to order a pizza when the doorbell rang.

"I can't believe he really came." I said to myself and opened the door and saw Arthur standing there. “You really came here to get me. Seriously?”

"Of course I came, why didn't you came?"

"I don't want to see your brother, I didn't even want to come to the wedding so I wouldn't see your brother." He put his hand on his chest, feigning fake indignation. "I'm sorry but it's true and at the wedding I can still get away from him but there in your house with half a dozen people I can't."

"Y/n, he didn't even come, there was a problem with the plumbing in his apartment and the plumber couldn't fix it until today, so get dressed and let's go because my mother said I wouldn't have a wedding tomorrow if I didn't take you."

"Okay, let me just put some clothes on and fix my face." He agrees and I go to the bedroom.

I put on a simple black dress and sneakers, did a quick make-up just so I wouldn't look so bad and picked up my things.

I went downstairs and left my house accompanied by Arthur. As soon as we entered the house I could hear the laughter of my parents and his parents.

"Look who I brought!" he said, pulling me along.

"My God, you look beautiful." She says and hugs me. "How you've changed."

"Thank you, Mrs. Leclerc."

"It's just Pescale, darling." She smiles and runs her hand through my hair. "I missed you, it's been a while since you came to visit us, how is Milan?"

"I've missed you too and everything's fine, I've been promoted to head of the urban architecture sector."

"That's wonderful, I know how much you wanted that job."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why do you think?"

"That's great my love, I'm happy for you." My dad hugs me.

He always has a way of finding out about situations.

"Sorry I'm late, the plumber managed to get there early." he says as he walks in and stops as soon as he sees me there.

At that moment everything around me seemed to disappear except for him, it was the first time we'd seen each other in years, after all the best and worst moments of my life we were here.

Facing each other again.

"Hi darling, how are you?" My mom goes over to him and hugs him, and he takes his eyes off me.

"Hi Mrs. Y/l/n, I'm fine, how are you?”

"We're fine too." She smiles.

It had been years since I'd seen my mother smile like that, which made me roll my eyes.

"I thought you weren't coming." Lorenzo says, coming over.

"Actually, the problem was much smaller than it seemed and I managed to get the plumber to come early so everything was sorted. Where's Carla?”

"She's with her parents."

"Hi Y/n.”

"Charles."

"Greet him right Y/n."

"Don't push it, Mom."

"Well, shall we have dinner?" his mother says, changing the subject.

…

The only words we exchanged today were that greeting, then we distracted ourselves with other people on different subjects but always keeping a distance from each other.

"I think I'm going now," I said as I got up.

"Why don't you stay a little longer?" His mom asked.

"I really have to go; I haven't slept since I arrived early this morning, and I'm dead tired. I drove from Milan to here."

"Alright then, especially since tomorrow is the big day."

"We're leaving at 8 in the morning to go to the resort, okay?" Lorenzo said before I left.

"Well, in that case, I think it's best for all of us to go to sleep," Arthur got up from the couch.

"I'm going to stay around; I'm too tired to drive."

"Charles, your old room has your brother's things in it, so you can't sleep there."

"He can stay at our place." My mom said.

"Love, I..." my father tried to say it's a bad idea, but she obviously didn't care.

"Let's go, Charles, there's a spare room and no one will bother you there."

"That's great."

"Did you say something, Y/n?"

"I said 'that's great' in a very ironic way in case you didn't understand that as well."

I grabbed my phone and left there; I couldn't take my mother's jabs anymore or even look at him.

I took off my clothes and put on some pajamas, leaving the room to go to the bathroom and as I was about to open the door, Charles was coming out of it.

"Are you still going to use it?"

"Can you be less rude?"

"Are you going to use it or not?"

"No," he said and I went in.

I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and after going to the bathroom, I returned to the room, only to be faced with that jerk sitting on my bed.

"Excuse me, can you please leave?"

"We need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about. You need to leave because I want to sleep."

"Please, love."

"Don't call me that. In fact, don't call me anything; forget that I exist."

"It's kind of hard to forget you." He looked me up and down with a malicious look, and I slapped him in the face. "What's your problem?"

"You're my problem, and you're a jerk, too." He laughed. "Look, we haven't seen each other in years, so pretend we never even met and leave me alone."

"I just want to apologize."

"And I don't want to hear it. Nothing you have to say changes what you told me years ago."

"I never meant to say those things."

"But you did, and the fact that you said them means that you considered them to be true, even if only for a moment." He fell silent. "You moved on with your life, and I moved on with mine. I don't want to go back to the past."

"I never wanted this to happen between us. You were the love of my life and I ruined everything out of selfishness. You would never have asked me to choose, and I had no right to do the same to you. I should have supported you as a decent boyfriend would, and all I did was say those horrible things to you." He spoke, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I remembered. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry, Charles, but your apologies doesn’t change anything. Your apologies don't change the fact that I feel disgust when I look at you. The anguish I feel in my chest when I see you is still the same, and that won't change."

"I understand, but I owed you an apology even if you don't accept it," I agreed. "Goodnight, Y/n."

He left and I locked the door. Those words were haunting my mind, and I swear if I weren't so tired, I would have stayed up all night thinking about it.

Tag list: @formulas-bitch @nuggetvirgo @lndonrris @cmleitora @janeholt3 @coffeewhore18 @blueflorals @agentadhd @eviethetheatrefreak @honethatty12 @lec-16 @ariamox @boherahpsody @ssararuffoni @leilani13gc @alldaysdreamer @minmira95 @dessxoxsworld @dessxoxsworld @vellicora @meadhbhcavanagh @viramila @lightdragonrayne @444elm0gizm0 @morenofilm @millinorrizz @leclercdream @buendiabebeta @ironmaiden1313 @julesandro @ssararuffoni @sialexia

[maedae-maedae]

Perverted

☆ Reigen Arataka x F!Reader

☆ Chapter 1/3

☆ Genre: Smut

☆ Warnings: NSFW 18+

☆ Contents: Sub!Reigen, Co-workers, Office Masturbation, Humiliation Kink, Caught in the Act, Mutual Pining

☆ Word Count: 6.7k

☆ Summary: A boss and his employee is quite the forbidden love affair. It could never happen, really it shouldn't. He would never let his feelings for you get the better of him and let you see. But Reigens worst nightmare is where you find out about what he allows himself to do and think in private. What would you think of him? And why does the outcome arouse him anyways?

Or at least it does until it becomes his reality.

☆ A/N: i am incapable of being normal about this man.

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 - Cause

Reigen was never one to be perverted, especially at work. He knew how to separate business and pleasure. Even when certain cases walked into his office (like a spirit mark on a woman’s breasts, or giving a full body massage to particularly attractive customers), it was important for him to keep his business composure. And maybe he’s had a perverted thought or two in moments like those, but who wouldn’t? The mind wanders. What’s important was that it never left that moment. Once it was over, those thoughts were out of his head, and he would never act on such thoughts.

Something weird has been happening lately, though.

He’s been feeling strange. Having perverted thoughts when he shouldn’t. It started off at home, he started watching porn more often, which he rarely does, and that’s to say of course he started touching himself more often. But then it started happening at work in the morning too. Getting aroused and having a strong urge to relieve himself, sometimes he couldn’t even get his head straight with customers in the middle of a session with him. It was quite troubling to say the least. And recently he realized why it started.

It was you.

Having you in the office wasn’t really that much of a change from before, other than being able to get work done more efficiently of course. He wouldn’t say just having a woman in the office itself did this to him, because that would be gross. But really in the beginning everything was fine. The two of you had normal co-working banter while you did your work, nothing special really. And you were very respectful in the beginning towards him so you weren’t really close. That is, until the “company dinner” together, when all three of you got fairly drunk. After that, the two of you have been closer, like friends more than boss-and-worker honestly.

He cant put his finger on exactly when his perverted feelings started coming into play. Maybe it was the day you gave him a ride home. Being alone with eachother outside the office (like actually alone, just the two of you), he remembers it feeling pretty intimate. And also being extremely nervous, but playing it off cool of course (you could see him sweating).

Ever since he’s started seeing you as more of a friend, his mind started to wander into the danger zone. It’s like his business filter is flipped off when he thinks of you now, and he can’t find it to turn it off anymore. He always keeps it appropriate at work of course. But maybe sometimes when you stand up to get water, or talk to a customer, perhaps you could catch him looking at you for a bit too long. And maybe if you looked over at the wrong time, you would catch his eyes wandering to places they shouldn’t be. That he scolds himself for afterwards every time.

Just like he’s doing now. You’re taking a customers payment and having him fill out some forms from across the office, your back facing Reigen. He can just never get over how good you look in that skirt. It’s not like it’s even particularly short, it’s appropriate length, but the way it hugs your figure….

Work. You’re at work. You need to focus, Reigen.

He turns to the computer again.

The thing is, he didn’t like being like this. And he tried to fight it at first, but it’s like you’ve put some kind of horny spell on him or something. Are regular crushes supposed to make you more sexually driven? He doesn’t think so. There must be something wrong with him.

“Okay, Reigen,” You call out, snapping him awake, “I’m gonna start running the calculations for this weeks total income. Do you need me to do anything else before going home for the weekend?” You ask politely, turning your body slowly to face him, tapping some documents together in your hands. The guy from before is gone now. When did that happen?

He buffers for a second looking at you, and probably for a moment too long, because you turn to look back at him curiously.

“Oh- No, no. You’re all good to go home after this, (Y/n).” He finally replies.

You crack a smile at this statement, looking pleased to hear that. He watches as you turn to sit in your chair and start typing with a newly determined end-of-the-workweek energy. He ends up also smiling at this, managing to turn his attention back to his work as well.

The next hour or so goes by in mostly silence, only the sounds of tapping and the occasional thinking noises that comes from Reigen. The sun starts to set now, orange tinting the room through the slightly-open shades.

You push yourself up to stand, clicking the shut down on your computer, all while smiling. Finally you get to go home early. And not late like you always tend to do.

You alert his attention again at this, and he looks up at you. “Heading out?” He asks.

You smile proudly at him, “Yep! Unless you want me to stay. But if you do, I think I’m qualified to start asking for overtime pay at this point.” You say, partially joking.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “No, no. Really, you’re good to go.”  He reassures you.

You squint your eyes at him, leaning on your hand placed on your desk. “This is suspicious. You never let me go home early.” You accuse him.

He frowns at you, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms. “What am I, some kind of ceo villain? It’s not like I try to trap you here. If you’re done with your work, you can go.” He states simply.

“Yeah, you say that but,” You stand up straight and take your purse, moving around your desk to make your way to the coat hanger. “There seems to always be something you want me to help you with, even if I finish my work. You’re sure you don’t need anything?” You finish and turn to face him again.

“What? Do you want to stay later? If you really want something to do I can make something up and-“

“No! I just…” You cut him short and then trail off, holding eye contact for a weird amount of time in silence.

He tilts his head at you, confused. “What is it? Is something wrong?” He asks, a sudden concerned tone in his voice. You are acting a little strange, so it makes sense. You stand there for a few more seconds without answering.

“Are you going to be going home soon?” You blurt out, and he blinks a few times at the sudden question.

“Uh.. No, I don’t think so. I’ve got some more things I gotta take care of before the weekend, so I’ll probably be here for a while.” He says, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

You frown at this, and he starts to see what’s going on now. It’s cute, and he tries not to smile and make it obvious what he’s thinking. Or at least he puts on a fake, sly smile, prepared to tease you about your reasonable concern instead.

“What? Are you worried about me? That’s oh so sweet of you, but don’t be. I’ll be fine. This won’t take too long. Believe it or not, I don’t especially love working past close either.”  He does his best to reassure you, but you’re still frowning at him, clearly not convinced. “Hey, don’t give me that face. Just go home and get some rest. I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?” He says again, trying to wave you off as he directs his attention back to his monitor, pretending to do something.

Of course he doesn’t want you to go either, but as your boss he really didn’t have anything to give you. And as your— what he guesses could be called “admirer”— he did want you to actually get some rest.

You watch him sadly for a few more moments, and then let out a sigh. You reach for your coat, and he can hear it ruffle as you put it on.

You don’t know why you’re suddenly sad about leaving, since you were just over the moon about it a minute ago. Maybe it’s because lately you get out so late that you end up closing with him most nights. When this happens you’d always be a little annoyed, since no one likes working beyond their hours, but now you’re realizing maybe you actually grew to enjoy it? Or at least to be accustomed to it. Since you feel weird like this about leaving early now. It’s not because you want to work obviously, but you guess…

You just really like being in Reigens company.

You glance over your shoulder again at him before you go for the door. He’s busy at work again. You know he probably has more than he’s letting on, and he’s probably just letting you go since you were so happy about leaving early.

You suppose you’re lucky to have a boss who’s also a friend. So much that he cares more about your health than work. So much that you dread leaving his side…

You spot the heating/ac control panel on the wall next to you. You realize it’s pretty hot, forgetting you just put your jacket on.

“Is it hot in here? Do you want me to turn the heat down for you while I’m on my way out?” You ask, breaking the loud silence.

“Hm? Oh, no, it’s fine.” He mumbles back to you.

“Okay..” You mumble and finally head for the door.

You stop again.

“Oh! By the way,” You start and turn to him again. “I’m gonna go to the supercenter this weekend to pick up a few things. So, let me know if there’s anything I should pick up for the office.”

He cracks a smile, leaning his body to the left from behind the monitor, his chin coming to rest in his hand. “Alright, I’ll make sure to do that. Anything else you wanna ask me?” He teases, giving you a smug look.

You smile back at him, rolling your eyes. You’re about to have a witty comeback, but suddenly remember another thing. You can’t believe you almost forgot.

“Oh! Okay, one last thing!” You hurry over to your desk, and his eyes follow you as you make your way over and bend down to open up a drawer. He’s doing the thing again, his eyes lingering.

You find a folder you were searching for immediately and take out the first paper in it. You make your way over to him, still not looking at him yet. As you approach, he shakes himself out of the daze he had just gone into.

You stand next to him, staring at the paper for another second as he waits for whatever you have to show him. Then finally, you hand it over to him.

“What’s this?” He immediately asks.

“The first client that came in today had a follow-up session request. It was pretty detailed and picky so I had him fill out a form about it. I told him you’d call back about it in a few days.” You inform him.

“Huh. Must be serious if he’s so strict about it. Or maybe he’s just picky, I guess.” He says, skimming over the several paragraphs of writing under the ‘extra comments/requests’ section. “Guess I’ll just have to charge extra. I can give him a call tomorrow.” He finishes with a signature grin.

Then to his surprise, he suddenly feels you next to him, as you bend over him to point to something on the page.

You start to make a comment about something the client wrote, but Reigens mind kind of stops working for a moment. He glances over at you, your face dangerously close to his. He can smell your signature perfume, already familiar with it from the times you’d get close to him, pass him by, or give him rides home in your car. He loves the smell, the smell of you, and he remembers times where he’d wished he could get to experience it even when you’re not around. He starts to let himself admire you as you continue to talk to him about something he should probably be listening to.

“-And I mean I told him that might be out of our control, but he insisted on writing it. So, it’s up to you.” You finish your explanation that you didn’t realize was going unheard. But when you get no response at all, you finally turn your head. Your eyes meet for a moment, and his widen a little, snapping out of his daze again.

He immediately snaps his head forward and nods. “Mm, Okay. Understood. I’ll take care of it, (Y/n). Thank you.” He says quickly and very matter-of-factly.

You blush a little from your one second of intimacy, not expecting for him to have been staring at you like that. You slowly bring yourself to stand again.

He won’t look at you now, placing the piece of paper down next to him and pushing himself further into the desk as he goes back to scrolling on the computer.

You stand there for a little too long, like you’re a stunned animal, just looking at him curiously, wondering ‘what was that?’.

He can feel you still next to him, and there’s an awkward air. Was that too obvious? Did you finally catch him? Gotta play it off.

He clears his throat, glancing up at you again with a straight face. “I’ll take care of it, so you can head out, (Y/n).”

You jump a little, face flushing darker at how awkward you were probably making him feel just standing there in silence. “Oh, right. Thank you.”

“And, you have something in your teeth. By the way.” He adds on bluntly.

Very smooth.

Your brows furrow as you cover your mouth, tongue feeling around for something. Now you feel especially embarrassed.

Of course he just saw something in your teeth, idiot. Why else would he stare like that?

Your internal dialogue as you make your way to the door again, not dragging your pace this time.

He watches you subtly as you go, feeling a bit guilty now.

“Have a good weekend!” He calls out, but you don’t stop or look back, feeling too humiliated at the moment. You just nod and hum a “you too”, and then you’re gone.

He throws himself back, his chair reclining with him, throwing his hands over his face. His hands run back through his hair.

He wishes he had thought of a different excuse, but he was frantic, and he really can’t have you finding out about the way he feels for you. On the likely chance it makes you weirded out and decide to quit, he’d still be able manage same as he did before you were hired, but of course that’s not the reason he doesn’t want to loose you.

Once he gets over his regret or whatever this is, he gets back to work, and then an hour or so passes quickly. He finally takes a break to look at his phone.

No messages.

What was he expecting?

He thinks about you again, and all the different ways the two of you interacted today. This became a pass time for him, thinking about you, and replaying you in his mind. Before he knows it, he’s been staring at the ceiling for 10 minutes. A sigh leaves his lips.

“Damn. I need to go home too… I should wrap this up.” He speaks to himself, pulling his attention away from your temptation.

But as he tries to finish up the last of his to-do list for today, he can’t stop letting his mind wander. Every time he starts to get into the rhythm, his focus gets lost again, and there you are. Work that should’ve only taken about another hour or so turns into 2 hours. And as time passes, his thoughts of you only get more perverted.

This was like clockwork, when he couldn’t get you off his mind, his fantasizing eventually ended up a little X-rated. He finds himself starting to palm at the buldge that had appeared under his pants, staring blankly at the screen in front of him with an unfinished email, totally spaced out now.

He pushes out a shaky breath, gently massaging himself to the thought of you. The fantasy of getting to have you in any context, but right now his fantasy scenario is one that takes place in the office. You tying his hands behind his chair, straddling his lap and having your way with him. His cheeks are bright red, engulfed in his imagination. The PC fan, clock ticking, and Reigen’s unsteady breathing being the only sounds in the empty office. He’s started to work himself up without realizing.

Ding!

The sound of a notification suddenly brings him out of his daydream, his actions stopping all at once, his eyes refocusing. At first he searches the computer screen, thinking he’d have gotten an email, but there’s nothing new. He reaches for his phone, and sure enough, a text notification. From you.

The text reads:

[hey! you still at the office?]

And as he’s reading it, he receives another.

[better not be.. if you end up sick from overworking im not coming in for you! :p]

He laughs through his nose, running his hand through his hair again. He sighs. You’re right, he really needs to finish up here. If only you knew what he was really doing right now.

He was basically finished, just needed to send this last email that he’d already started. Yet, when he tries to finish it again, he just can’t seem to focus at all. He got himself too riled up, and there was only one real way he knew how to fix it, of course.

He contemplates it for a minute. Masturbating in the office… It’s a terrible idea, right? But it’s not like anyone would come after close, and he could just make it quick.

He wastes more time contemplating, but eventually comes to the conclusion that the only way he can finish up today is if he can be relieved of his thoughts of you first. This is a lie of course, he really could make himself power through, but he convinces himself otherwise. After all, he is very convincing.

He gets up from his chair and makes his way to the door, checking to make sure it’s 100% locked. God forbid something unthinkable occurs.

As he’s about to walk back to his own desk and finally get down to “business”, he stops in front of your desk, spotting something.

Your scarf is left on the headrest of your chair, and he doesn’t know how neither of you spotted it before you left. You always take it with you.

He stays frozen in place for a moment. An awful idea occurs to him.

He cant even believe what he’s doing as he saunters over to the chair, taking the scarf in his hand and bringing it close to his face. It smells like you. And your perfume. Just like he thought it probably would.

This is bad. Dangerous, even. He shouldn’t be doing this.

But then he’s sitting down in your desk chair, nuzzling his face into your left-behind apparel laced with your scent, his hand slipping down to massage himself again.

And then before he knows it, his length is out in his hand, and he’s pleasuring himself. In your chair. Surrounded by your things. Everything around him reminds him of you. The cute trinkets on the desk, the colorful paper clips keeping papers tidy, the dog-shaped sticky notes on the monitor with reminders written in your pretty handwriting. And your scent. God, he goes crazy for it.

Sighs start to escape his lips, and then soft moans begin to follow. His pumping gets faster, his hips start to buck up into his hand, his breathing getting more unstable.

This is so so wrong. Horribly wrong. You’d probably kill him if you found out.

You.

The things you’d do to him, if you knew.

His shame only fuels his arousal for some reason. Even though it’d be a nightmare if you walked in right now, for some reason the thought still turns him on. You seeing him desperate and needy like this, his dirty secret finally out. You’d finally know what you do to him, and he could confess that only you make him act like this.

“Fuck… (Y/n)…” He whines into the soft fabric in his hand.

As his imagination runs wild in his mind, he just gets more needy. All this time of touching himself to the thought, but he wants the real thing more than anything. So badly. He wants you— no— he needs you.

This prompts him to start letting out short whines, your name leaving his lips again and again. He keeps fucking his hand, wishing that somehow he’d open his eyes and see you around him instead.

“Please.. please-Ah-.. fuck..“

He starts pleading and babbling nonsense, head tilting back to look up at the ceiling.

Faster. He strokes himself at a faster pace now, sometimes stuttering as his hips jerk up involuntarily.

He cant believe he’s doing this. But it feels so good, there’s no way he could stop.

He’s nearing climax now, and his noises get less controllable as he continues to get immense pleasure from this perverted situation he’s cultivated.

He brings the scarf back up to his face, the scent renewing and giving him a better illusion of you. The fabric helping to muffle himself as well. His eyes squeeze shut and with your aroma so close to him, he can make out the image of you. Wrapped around him, moaning his name into his ear, your plush skin pressed against his own.

Finally, with one last hard thrust, he reaches his climax, his hips thrusting up and locking for a moment as he shakes with pleasure. He’s not able to catch the first line of semen that comes out way more intense than he expected. It gets on the top of your desk, but thankfully not on his clothes somehow. The rest he catches with his hand.

He sits there shocked for a moment, breathing hard and heavy. He hasn’t finished that intensely in a while.

Then he lets himself lean back into the chair to relax for a moment, sighing heavily at his intense relief.

Jesus, Reigen. You’re a fuckin creep. Look at what you’re doing right now.

He thinks to himself in his post-clarity.

He sits there in silence for a while, letting himself wallow in the shame of his actions tonight.

Then he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. He’s ready to just put this behind him, pretend it never happened.

“Alright… Guess I should-“ His own speaking to himself gets cut off as there’s a knock on the door.

He immediately goes into panic mode for a few moments. He almost answers, until he realizes it’s probably a customer. They’ll go away once they realize the shop is closed.

So he stays still and silent.

Then probably one of his worst case scenarios takes place.

He hears the security system unlock, followed by the door opening slowly, and then-

You pop your head in slowly as you look around the room, eventually locking eyes with Reigen. His heart sinks.

Luckily for him, your desk faces the door, so he’s still in the clear from your point of view. Of course not the most ideal situation to be in right now.

“Oh! You’re here,” You step inside, shutting the door behind you. “You didn’t say anything when I texted. And usually I knock before I come in during close, incase you might be busy with something, but-“ You come to a stop when you realize how in-shock— and sweaty?— he looks right now. And just the overall weird tenseness in the air. And-

“Why are you at my desk?” You ask with a slight tilt of the head.

He’s suddenly snapped back into reality, realizing the urgency of this situation. He needs to figure out how to get out of this smoothly, and fast. His hand is literally full of his own-

“Reigen?-“

“HEY!” He startles you with his sudden volume. “(Y/n)! Hey! Funny seeing you here so late I thought you went home already!” He smiles as genuinely as he can manage as he pushes out that regrettable concoction of words.

You blink a few times. “Uh… Yeahhh, well I did! I mean I was on my way, but-“ He nods along as you speak, eyes glancing around for something to wipe off the desk. “-then I found that brand of salt you like so much when I stopped at Daiso and yknow it’s always sold out so I brought it back for you. Never a bad thing to have extra stock right? Just in case.“ You tell him sweetly. He now notices the three bags of salt in your arms. Normally he’d be very pleased with this. In ideal circumstances.

“Wow, look at you! You’re really an amazing employee, (Y/n), yknow that? Have I ever told you that?” He starts to babble, giving you a big fake smile. “Thanks so much, hey, uh- Why don’t you just put them on the couch and I’ll put them away when I’m done over here. You should really head home and actually get some rest for tonight, right?”

“Oh, right.” You remember how badly you want to put these bags down now. They’re kinda heavy. You move over to the couch, hunching over to drop them down.

While you’re looking away, Reigen glances around frantically for any sort of paper towels on your desk. His eyes lock onto your box of tissues, grabbing a handful and quickly wiping the mess on the table, just before you turn back around with a labored exhale. He’s wiping himself off discretely under the desk when you make eye contact again. “So what is it you’re doing over there anyways?” You ask to his dismay. Of course you’re curious about the situation though, since he is in your work space after work hours.

He opens his mouth to answer, and he only buffers for a moment. Almost suspicious, but not quite. “Ah, I just wanted to restart your computer, I do that with mine every once in awhile. Keeps em running smoothly. But yknow then it started acting strange, so I was just checking it out.” He comes up with an adequate excuse on the fly.

“Oh, seriously? Strange how? I can help you, let me-“

“NO!” He practically shouts when you take a step towards him, making you jump. Then he clears his throat immediately. “I mean, seriously, I got it. Cmon, you don’t trust your own boss? Just get home, will ya? You worked hard today.”

His rare compliment/considerateness blinds you to how weird he was being for a moment. You start to grin a little.

“Hmm.. I mean, you’re right. But honestly I’m not sure how comfortable I am with you fixing my computer, considering I was the one who had to fix yours the last time it started having issues.” You say in a joking tone, placing a hand on your hip.

He lets out an awkward, but still believable laugh. “Ahhh, that’s right! BUT I do know my fair share about computers. I did have to function somehow before you got here, right?”

“Yeah, it’s almost unthinkable.” You roll your eyes smiling. “I’ll go home after, but I can just help real quick. I’m sure you were doing something more important before this.”

He certainly was. And he definitely regrets getting off track now. Lesson learned. And as much as he appreciates your eagerness to help him, it literally could not be a worse time for it.

“(Y/n), it’s fine. You just stay right there and watch the master at work-“

“Master? Is there a spirit in the PC or something?” You say sarcastically, crossing your arms.

“Will that convince you to leave it to the professional?”

“Well if that’s the case, maybe I should call Mob?”

Woooow. Okay, that makes him crack an actual smile, his tenseness losing up a little. “What are you talking about? You know what mob calls me, right?” He says cockily, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Oh whatever, just let me help you!” You say letting out a laugh, like this is some kind of game.

“I don’t need your help!”

“Yeah right!” You take another step towards him.

“Don’t move another muscle!”

“What, are you naked behind the desk or something?” You ask jokingly.

He lets out a loud “Ha!” At your (scarily close) accusation. “I’m sure you’d love that, wouldn't you?” His words come out as quickly as he regrets them immediately afterwards. Both of your eyes go wide at the same time, and a blush quickly surfaces on your cheeks.

His expression and his heart drop the same.

“I am so sorry. That came out wrong.” He apologizes immediately, and he’s genuine because he really did not mean for it to sound that way. With you being both his friend and now secret desire, the line between professional and unprofessional is sometimes a little foggy. He has to remind himself to tone it down maybe.

Your mouth hangs open slightly, trying to think of something, anything to say after that, but you can’t seem to form anything together. You’re not really offended, just embarrassed. What did he mean by that? Why would he think you want to see him naked? Does he know you like him?

Stupid! Idiot! Why would you say that! His mind practically screams at him. He has to say something else.

He clears his throat. “Anyways!” Of course, perfect segway. “Just watch this. Like I said, master at work.” He says quickly and slides himself out of your chair and down under the desk where the PC box sits.

You just kind of stand there awkwardly. You don’t really have anything to say to him anymore, overthinking about whatever just happened.

“Alright, come here.” He finally calls out to you after a few moments and you oblige, coming over to behind the desk. He comes up again, clicking the start button on the PC before he does. And then of course your totally-fine-in-the-first-place computer boots back up.

He gives you a satisfied look. “There. Fresh as new. You’ll thank me later.”

You cross your arms, rolling your eyes. “Wow.. I guess you really are the master.” You reply sarcastically.

“I told you, didn’t I?”

Now being this close to him, you notice again how worked he looks. Like he’d just done a workout or something.

“Why are you sweating so much? Are you sick or something? I told you not to overwork yourself..” You scold, leaning over to take some tissues out of the box off your desk and taking a few to hand to him.

He clears his throat again, hesitantly taking the tissues from you with his free hand that doesnt already have crumpled up ones in it. “Ah, no.. It’s just hot in here. I should’ve let you turn down the heater earlier. I’ve been too busy to bother getting up to adjust it.” He makes another excuse. Truly, he feels gross being this close to you right know, knowing what he just did, and that there’s still evidence of it lingering. Normally this is very much an at-home-only activity. He never thought he’d get himself in a situation like this.

You tilt your head a bit, forgetting that you had even offered to do that earlier. “Oh yeah…” You eyes trail over to the control panel across the room, while Reigen wipes his face, watching your expression carefully.

When you look back over, the two of you makes eye contact for a moment. For some reason, it feels intimate, and Reigen thinks maybe it’s just his imagination still. He should say something to get you to leave though. This situation feels way too weird.

Right before he can say anything though, your eyes finally pull away, coming to spot something on the floor.

You make a slight “Oh!” sound, noticing the scarf you left behind, now on the floor.

Reigen follows your eyes to it and doesn’t stop you when you walk around him to pick it up.

“That’s funny, I left my scarf here. I didn’t even notice I was missing it.” You shrug.

His heart beats faster watching you hold it. Maybe because he can’t stop thinking about what he was just using it for.

He watches as you unravel it and wrap it around you, still filled with anxiety, like you’d sense his filthy use of your precious accessory just by touching it. You look at him when its back on, and you make the same strong eye contact again.

This is so weird. For the both of you.

The atmosphere feels unreal, like you’re experiencing a dream right now, being alone together in the dim-lit office way after hours. And reigen was acting so strange to how he normally is, though you don’t want to address it and let him know you’re that observant to his behaviors.

“Um.. I still have more bags of the salt in my car. I couldn’t carry them all in one go.” You finally say, eyes still connected to his.

“Oh. I can help.” He replies with no real emotion, like he’s in a trance right now.

“No no, it’s okay. You finish up work. I’ll just bring the rest in.” You assure him, still not breaking eye contact.

“I should help you. You already went through the effort of buying and transporting them here.” He says and finally breaks the contact for a moment to glance over at his desk. “Actually… if you want to do something, there’s an unfinished email on my desk. I’ve been trying to write it for a while but I don’t know, I guess I’ve just lost my work energy for the day.”

“Oh! Okay yeah, I can do that. Then,” You begin to take your scarf off again, taking it and reaching up to wrap it around Reagan’s neck instead. He blushes slightly at this, but not flinching or acting bothered at all. You can feel his eyes on you as you adjust it correctly into place. “You need this instead.”

He laughs through his nose slightly, and for some reason, he’s no longer tense or anxious. Smiling at you, and you smiling back, he feels his nerves calm, and he nearly forgets about whatever the hell he was worried about.

The eye contact continues, and it feels like you might… kiss? Or that’s what would happen if this was some cliche movie or something. But neither of you would ever be brave enough to make that risky first move. So you just stand in silence again for a weird amount of time.

“So..” Reigen finally breaks it when he comes back to earth before you do “Keys?”

You jump a little “Right!” You agree and fiddle for them in your coat pocket, pulling them out and handing them over.

Then for the next 20 minutes or so, the two of you say nothing to each other. You finish up his emails at his computer while he comes in and out of the office a few times with the salt.

You’re shutting the computer down when he puts the last sack of bags down with a heavy last heave of breath. You admire the way he rolls his neck and rubs at the muscles on his arms. His sleeves are rolled up and he pulls at his tie to unloosen it a bit as he turns to look at you. You pretend like you weren’t just having questionable thoughts about him.

You offer him a ride home, and he reluctantly takes it. During the ride, the two of you get back to your everyday conversational banter, like nothing happened. And really, nothing did anyways. When you turn the corner to his apartment, the two of you are still laughing at something stupid he just said.

You’d normally pull into the parking area in front of his place, but some idiot parked on the side of the ride is too far into the entrance. Definitely not legal, and also incredibly annoying.

“What the hell. What was this dumbass thinking?” You say in disbelief, gesturing out to the car in front of you.

“Ugh. They’re notoriously bad at parking, everytime I see that car there’s always some type of note on it. Guess there’s no free spaces.” He comments, peeking out the window to try to see into the gate.

“Yeah, but they couldn’t have just parked a little further up the street? This is actually laughably bad. Like illegal, even.” You say to him and just put the car in park where you are on the side of the road. You’re obviously not getting in.

“You think we could get compensation if we reported it?” You ask, turning to him with a mischievous look. He turns to face you and can’t help but mirroring your expression.

“I’ve taught you well. I’m sure I could somehow.” He tells you to confirm your question. “But, if I’m being honest, I can’t be bothered. I just want to sleep right now.”

You give him a disappointed look and he shrugs.

“Well. Then… are you okay walking in from here then?”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine walking a few extra feet to my front door, yeah.” He answers you sarcastically and you roll your eyes immediately.

“Oh okay, attitude. Go ahead then.” You tell him with your own tone, but you’re clearly teasing with the smile across your face.

“Wow I can’t believe you’re really going to make me walk so far, (Y/n). After everything I do for you, really. If I-“

“Oh my gosh, gooooooooo!” You say, cutting off his silly monologue and pushing him towards the door with both hands.

“Alright! Alright! I’m going!” He obliges with a laugh and you let him go. When he opens the passenger door you can feel the wave of cold air and you involuntarily shiver. You’re watching him step out and come to stand, when you notice that he’s still wearing your scarf.

“Wait!” You call out on impulse and he turns around to face you, his hand placed on the hood of the car.

You think about it for a second, looking at your scarf around his neck. It looks… cute on him. And you feel like he kinda needs it, he’s not really dressed very warm. Even though he’s only walking a few extra feet like he said. You want him to use it.

You’re about to say it’s nothing and let him take it, but he seems to notice where you’re looking and looks down to notice for himself.

“Oh, right. Here.” He says and starts to take it off, but you stop him.

“No, no! Take it.” You insist. He looks at you confused, eyebrow raising.

“What? Why? You wear this everyday.” He says.

“I have other ones. You never dress warm. Just use it for the weekend and give it back to me on Monday, kay?” You tell him.

“But-“ He starts and then trails off with seemingly nothing else to say.

You just smile at him and give him a wave goodbye. He buffers there for a moment before just going with it, nodding and waving back.

“Thank you.” He says as he reaches for the door.

“Goodnight.” You tell him gently and watch him go even after he shuts the door and walks off. You sit there just for a moment, wondering why you wanted him to have your scarf so bad. And also why he agreed. He has his own, you’ve seen it before, though not often.

Hm.

Well, whatever.

[justcallmecj]

Seeing Your Dragon Form: Dormleaders

Heyyyy~ Back with another chapter! Here, this is when they saw your full dragon form for the first time. Now, this chapter is a bit special. It'll be separated into 3 or 4 parts. One for the Dormleaders, one for the vice's + Ruggie and Floyd, another for the first years and a last one for anyone left. I'm also thinking about one for the teachers + Crowley. This one is the Dormleaders. You can take this as romantic or platonic, your choice.

Also, I'm gonna describe what you look like in Riddle's section so I don't have to in others. Just refer back to his section for imagery.

Riddle

He was certainly shocked, that's for sure.

He's only seen dragons in drawings or in the media, and even then they were mostly the mainstream kind of dragons. Ice isn't the first thing people think of when they think of dragons,

You had taken him to a small clearing of trees in the forest behind NRC since there was plenty of space where you didn't need to worry about hurting someone.

You towered over him, and he himself is pretty short so it made the difference even greater.

The usual cold air that followed you had increased in temperature, making it harder for him to be close to you.

Your horns became larger and sharper, like huge icicles. Spikes ran down your back just as sharp as your horns. Your tail swayed behind you and your eyes gleamed a dangerous e/c color.

Despite all this, you showed no signs of being hostile towards him. When he looked into your eyes, he saw a playful glint in them. Like you were studying his reactions and getting a kick out of it all.

He quickly put himself together after the initial shock.

You brought yourself down to his height and placed your head peacefully on the grass in front of him. He slowly made his way closer to you.

Gently, he placed a hand on your head. Despite the cold feeling, it didn't hurt. He sat next to your head and found himself quickly easing into a sense of safety and security. You laid your wings around him, enclosing the space and basically trapping him, but he didn't mind.

You made gentle, humming noises and he found the shaking feeling began to make him sleepy. He no longer was shocked about how you look like this and the drowsiness of his daily activities caught up to him. He curled up in the crook of your long neck.

"Thank you, for trusting me with this sight. I know how you feel, but you don't need to worry around me. Have a good nap, Y/N. I'm not to far behind you anyways."

Leona

You truly are an oversized lizard, huh?

He did whatever he could to keep the shock off his face, and it worked. You would've believed him, if you hadn't known him so well.

He didn't realize, but his tail stayed close to the grass, his ears twitch in your direction. More than a few of his muscles tensed.

He wasn't scared, just weary. He's always wondered what would happen if Malleus got pissed off at him enough to turn dragon mode. Now he just associates the thought with a sense of danger.

You could pick up on this though. You've always had a strange ability to do that when it comes to Leona. Your next goal? Be as non-threatening as possible.

Your tail gently curled around your hind leg, you sprawled your wings out in the grass around you and you brought your body close to the ground.

When he looked at you, he could clearly see the message you were trying to tell him. He understands you can't talk in this form.

He approached you. His muscles loosened when he touch your snout and your eyes closed, showing contentment.

Gently, he ran his hand up and down your scales. The skin on his hands pricked from the cold, a feeling he still wasn't used to.

His ears picked up on the faint hum you made. A smirk found its way on his face, and he didn't try to hide it.

He spent a bit of time petting you. He saw it as revenge for all the times you pet him with no warning. But, much to his demise, you didn't see it as anything spiteful. You quite enjoyed the attention.

"Hm. Fine. I'll stay with you for a while. But that's only because Ruggie won't come get me if I'm with you while you're like this."

Azul

He was...hesitant..to say the least.

He was nervous to see what you'd turn into. That's not meant to sound mean or judgemental, he wouldn't judge you. You don't judge him, why would he in turn?

More so, it's just that he doesn't know how he himself will react and doesn't want to hurt you with a negative reaction.

He knew you were nervous about yourself for a long time. But, you decided that if he saw you comfortable with yourself, he'd become a bit more confident as well.

It took a lot of convincing from you to lead him into the forest clearing. Even more for the Twins not to follow.

Once you two were there and he backed up to give you space, seeing you transform was the most stunning things he's ever seen.

A white mist covered you and a dark shadow on the inside(you) grew and changed shape. Into the shape of a dragon. When the mist cleared, he saw you.

Your e/c colors stared him down. You did what you could not to freak him out, but you didn't have full control of every habit of yours.

He could feel a few flight reflexes kick in. He stayed in place though. (You praised him for that later)

You sat. You kinda reminded him of a dog with the way you sat and waited patiently. Your tail rested motionless, wings calmly at your sides. Your head tilted to the side. To Azul, it was kinda cute. Like looking at a sea guppy.

He stepped closer, but kept a slight distance. You weren't offended, you knew you needed to take things slow. And you knew he was more worried about you than himself.

In an attempt to show him that there was nothing to worry about, you stretched out one of your arms, careful to watch your claws, and held it in front of him. Like how a human reaches out a hand to a scared animal. (Ironic since he was more human than you rn)

He got the message. He approached you and placed a gentle hand on your arm. The cold was somehow a comfort. It sorta reminded him of the cold waters in the Coral Sea. Slowly, he leaned into your touch and found himself calm. All worry faded away and you came close to him and gave whatever your equivalent of a smile is. It warmed his heart.

"I see. I hope none of my actions hurt you. You were very brave to show me all this. I hope one day, I can be like you with myself."

Kalim

He was certainly the most excited to see your dragon form.

He's never seen a dragon before, and The Land Of Scalding Sands doesn't have any legends or stories regarding dragons, so it's been an obscure concept to him.

He, without hesitance, followed you to the clearing in the forest and patiently waited for you to feel you were ready.

He held his breath as you transformed and only released it when he saw you were okay.

The dragon he saw standing in front of him. Blew. His. Mind!

Even before you could entirely orientate yourself he quickly threw himself onto you and wrapped his arms around your long neck, which was barely close enough to the ground for him to reach. (Especially since he's short)

He talked to you about everything and anything for 2 hours straight. He didn't mind that you couldn't verbally respond, it actually gave him enough time to learn what different ques you made meant. You nodded and shook your head for yes or no questions, you flopped your tail when you meant 'maybe', and your wings flutter lightly when you don't know how to respond.

He even learned what the meaning behind certain sounds meant.

"Sorta wish I had seen your dragon form earlier, but better later than never! Right?...I wonder what Jamil's doing right now?" Cue to Jamil who's freaking out because Kalim didn't tell him he was leaving the dorm.

Vil

He had come to know you pretty well. Despite that, he realized that he never actually asked you anything about your dragon form.

He's definitely thought about it, but never wanted to ask you for fear of making you uncomfortable.

When you told him you really wanted to, he worried that you may have been forcing yourself for him. You quickly reassured him that that wasn't the case. He then agreed to come with.

Seeing you morph was beautiful to him.

You were beautiful.

Your beautiful white scales tinted blue when the sun hit them at a certain angle. Your horns glistened with an icy nature, your eyes shone with a slight glaze of white over them. (Rook explained to him how this protects your eyes from the sun)

All he saw was pure, icy beauty. In a way, he couldn't comprehend why you've been self-conscious about how this form looked. Then he remembered how he gets when people comment negatively about how he looks, and how it can take a toll after so long.

He came to a resolve. To make sure you never again see anything negative about your dragon form!

With quick, confident strides, he approached you. Looking up to meet your eyes, he gave you a sweet, caring face.

He then began to fawn over you. His usual uptight behavior fell to allow his more caring side to take hold so that he could make sure you knew just how beautiful you looked. He commented on how well you seem to take care of yourself, your huge size meaning there was more to admire. Your horns looked like you took gentle care of them. Your snout looked adorable to him. The spikes running down your back, were sharp to the touch.

Those are all examples of how he expressed that he saw and took notice of all your beauty.

He sat on the grass in front of you and allowed you to place you snout in his lap as he gently rubbed your head while whispering sweet compliments to you.

"I hope that, never again, do you see anything wrong with your own beauty. And if anyone tells you other wise, just send them my way."

Idia

You want him to leave his room??? Whyyyyy?

He always thought seeing you in your dragon form would be the coolest thing ever. But he didn't think he'd be dragged out of his room by you and forced into the forest.

We couldn't have just done this somewhere at Ignihyde?

Then you transformed, and he no longer remembered why he was upset.

The fantasy loving weeb in him came out and he started to freak out.

He had a split second of hesitation, ice and fire don't mix and he could feel the ice on you, but his weeb took over and he rushed over. He was no longer shy with you.

His mind was going a million miles and hour and he asked you question after question. Until he realized that you couldn't talk. Which honestly bummed him out a bit but he quickly recovered.

Soon, he took to simply admiring you while you soaked up the attention he was giving you.

His warm fingers lightly slid across your cold scales, sending a shiver up his spine every time, but he didn't mind.

It shocked him when you reached out an arm and pulled him close to you. You held him against your side while you curled up like a puppy.

"Um, okay then. I guess we can stay like this for a bit. But, I do still have some games I need to play later, so not all day, okay?"

Malleus

You had zero problems with him. It actually went the smoothest with him.

When you two were having a conversation a while back, he had questioned if you had a dragon form like he did. You had explained to him that you did but you were to shy to show anyone. He had asked why and you told him that after so long of people bad mouthing you about how you look in fae form, you became hesitant for anyone to see you as a dragon.

He talked about his form in an attempt to help you feel comfortable. He also told you that you'd never need to be scared with him because he's just like you. That made it easier for you to get where you are now. Finally ready to show.

You took him to the clearing and asked him to back away so you wouldn't hit him.

The way you transformed was different from his. He created a puff of smoke around him, you made a mist of ice.

Once the mist faded, he quickly took in every detail about you. How sharper your horns are compared to his, your serrated claws. The white and blue tint of your scales while his a black with purple tints. (Well, that's what Lilia has told him.)

He immediately took to feeling your scales and tough skin, wings and tail. You didn't mind, not like you had a lot of feeling in those areas. He's a dragon to, so he knew exactly where he needed to avoid.

You were a lot more different from him than he was expecting. His scales were rough while yours were smooth. Your horns sharp, his rounded. Your wings were more angular and his were longer.

He didn't mean to get as analytical as he did, he was just really curious. After realizing how he was acting he took to talking to you. Unlike others, he could understand majority of your draconic growls and rumbling. You could actually hold a proper conversation with him.

Eventually, you began to get tired. Your eye lids drooped and you struggled to keep your head up. He saw this and told you it was fine to fall asleep.

He actually turned into his own dragon form and curled up next to you, intertwining your tails. Together, you both fell asleep there on the grass.

"I never thought that I would meet someone so like me, even if we are different. Thank you, Child of Dragons, for coming into my life."

[starlightdreaming]

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader! Ch. 5!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel!

Content Warning: nothing really (just heed with previous warnings), implications of Season 1: Episode 2 though. (yay) (not proofread)

Synopsis: You spend time at the hotel, helping Charlie. :D

Further note: sorry it took so long, writers block was gnawing at me.

Chapters!: Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 ✧ Chapter 3 ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5 (you are here) •<•)b

this chapters song is:

(optional but only recommended for the first bit of the story lol)

｡･:*:･ﾟLululuna･ﾟ:｡*:･｡

After losing you a few days ago, Heaven was fine, no one knew what happened between you and Sera- except Adam but he kept quiet, He didn’t like you after what you did to Lute, he felt rather humbled from when you stopped and dragged him back to Heaven and it pissed him off entirely.

Sera was at her desk, finishing her work in the same room that had been covered by your blood days before but she cleaned that up before anyone would discover the incident. It was all fine until-

knock, knock, knock.

“Come in.” Sera says as she put her attention away from the papers she was focusing on, she sat up straight before Emily came in, panting and disheveled, a worried look on her face, “Emily?” Sera’s body relaxed into her seat, seeing as it was only her sister and not some official business, “What is the matter dear?” Sera asked with concern as Emily ran up to her desk tossed down whatever she had in her hands, “Where’s Y/n?” Emily asked, “The stars she made around the city are hurting, I can feel their pain.”

Sera looked down at her desk to see stars Emily gathered, they chimed weakly in sorrow, Sera didn’t know what to do but she did know what to say, “Y/n is…” she pauses, trying to remember the cover up story she made for your absence, “Y/n became fallen.” Sera says, Emily shocked and surprised, “but how? she says, trying to find any reason why you would, “A few days ago, she hurt many of our people, our people,” she half lied, “so she had to go.”

Emily looked down at the weakened stars on the desk, the stars seemed to have sensed your absence in Heaven and that’s when they began to grow bleak, “I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” Emily saddened, holding up one of the stars that squeaked to her, trying to tell them it’s woes, “how come no one told me about her becoming fallen?” she asks her sister, feeling a bit hurt from being left out in the blue, “she’s was hostile and dangerous,” Sera stated, lying behind your back to keep Emily at bay, “She had to dealt with quickly and she was.” She spoke, Emily softly poking the star with a boop to comfort it, “A week ago, I started sensing their dismay and before you know it, they are slowly becoming weaker,” Emily says as she walked around the desk to get close to her sister, she gave the star to Sera to hold, to see if Sera could feel their pain.

Sera held it with both hands, observing the star, the star sensed Sera’s presence and touch, it squeaked in sorrow before it crumbled in Sera’s hands, making both the Seraphim’s wide eye in shock, “oh no, what happened?” Emily says confused, taking the dust out of Sera’s hands rather quickly, no longer feeling any consciousness of the crumbled star, “why did it just..?” Emily tries to ask, not wanting to accept its loss, she took the other stars off the desk, scared they might fall apart as well.

Sera tried to think, it was one problem after another to her, she got rid of you for her own sake, realizing now she might have just jeopardized the balance of Heaven for all her people thanks to losing you because of her own selfishness, Sera sighed before standing up out of her seat, “I don’t know, Emily,” She said, honestly for once during their entire conversation, “but what I do know is that without someone with the ability to make the stars, all the stars might fade away too, especially the ones that work and help our people on a daily basis.” She states, walking to her younger sister, holding her hands in hers, “I’ll try and figure something out for our people, okay?” She comforts her, kissing her head before going back to sit at her desk to continue to work.

Emily quietly left the office without another word, she looked at her hands, after Sera had contact with your stars, the others crumbled to nothing but dust as well. Emily couldn’t help but wonder, where are you now? and are you okay? She would never know the answers but all she can do is hope that you are.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You stared blankly in surprise after watching Alastor fight off Sir Pentious and launch him away in the air to who knows where, “well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor, best of luck, chums.” He waves off, “wait, you’re leaving?” You asked before Vaggie stepped in, “Alastor, we need your help, we need you to do your job.” She spoke before Angel added in, “we need a wall.” deadpanning.

“of course!” Alastor replied before he turned back, can’t let my project fall into disrepair already, what would the papers say?” he asked, snapping his fingers before walking away again, Angel shoving Vaggie away as he giggles, you caught Vaggie as she landed in your arms, giving you a quiet “thanks.” making Charlie smile at you both.

“Maybe we should head to the city? how about we find some new recruits? just us three!” Charlie offers, wrapping her arm around you and Vaggie, reeling you in for a hug side hug, “Sure, I’d love to help! after all, you did help me out a lot.” You smile as you stepped away from her hug, standing next to her before you three began to walk together towards the city.

“So I was thinking,” You say as you began a conversation with Charlie, “Since i’m staying at the Hotel and I can actually stop the extermination, what if we advertised protection from it?” You offered, thinking maybe it could be a good idea that would convince the public, “that’s actually quite smart.” Vaggie praised, making your heart swell in joy that she liked the idea, “really?” you ask, seeing if she meant it, “really!” Charlie exclaimed, bumping her arm into yours lightly with a smile on his face.

Upon walking into the city, you finally saw sinners and demons walking around the streets, since the last time you were here- everyone evacuated when you first arrived- you were rather excited to see so many people.

“So how are we gonna do this?” You chimed eagerly, walking backwards in front of Vaggie and Charlie, “do we go door to door or do we make an assembly?” You asked, tilting your head slightly, not noticing that some of the demons had already noticed you and began to hide.

Charlie smiled as she summoned paper with her ability, “here,” she says, handing you a flyer, “we walk up to sinners, person to person to advert their full attention! So it has everything you need to say to talk about the hotel.” She explains. You took the paper, skimming through the words to understand what you had to say or promote, “okay! I’ll go do just that!” You smiled.

“We’ll meet back up here at this spot and bring anyone we find.” Charlie says, giving Vaggie a flyer too, “Okay, I’ll be on my way then!” You say as you waved at them both before walking in your own direction, exploring the city.

You took turns and corners down the city, walking up to sinners of all sorts, tall or small, “Hi! Would you be interested to join us at the Hazbin Hotel?” You’d offer, only for them to back away or run off in fear or a hurry. It wasn’t long until people began to avoid you as a whole, feeling the same feeling you did when you first walked down these streets, “hello?” You’d call out into the empty streets once again, it wasn’t exactly the same as last time though, the people were just hiding this time.

“I mean no harm!” You shouted, slightly desperate for anyone to acknowledge your statement but no one seemed to do so, “I’m an angel- yes, but I can protect you from extermination like I have last time!” You tried to reason, only to hear a voice in the distance shout, “you made the extermination deadline shorter!” Making you falter at their claim, understanding now that they avoid and blame you for the new deadline than rather praise you for stopping the last extermination.

You sighed in defeat as you began to walk again, heading back to the regrouping spot, holding up the flyer to look at. You stared at handmade drawing on it with the big red hotel and a little Charlie on it making a small smile form on your face , ‘maybe they had luck trying to find recruits?’ You thought, trying to comfort yourself as you continued to walk.

As you walked down the empty streets, demons and sinners that were hiding around in corners and alleys were holding up their phones, taking photos and recordings of you as you walked, making you feel uneasy by yourself, you were wishing you could just fly away but your wings were still healing, perhaps you should help heal them quicker using some of your mana tonight, you thought as you hugged yourself.

You picked up your pace slightly, feeling more paranoid by yourself from the inaudible whispers, when you turned the corner, you smiled as you shouted to Charlie and waved, relieved to see the two familiar faces again, “Charlie! I’m back.” You called, stopping in front of her with a smile, “Y/n! How’d it go?” She asks, making your smile falter, “oh, uhm,” you began, looking away, “I couldn’t get anyone.” You confessed, disappointed in yourself, “Oh,” she says a little upset before brushing it off with a smile again, “well that’s alright!” She comforted, “the day has just begun so we have all day to look around the city!” she chimed, raising her hand in the air, only for the city lights to flicker and shut down, “or not…” she says, raising her arm down, the only light source being their eyes, except you, “wow you glow so pretty.” Charlie says to you, making Vaggie look at you as well, “Yeah, you light up like a star, even your eyes glow- wait are your pupils like shooting stars?” She says as she smiles, you wave off their compliments shyly, getting embarrassed from their sudden flattery remarks, “heh, yeah, it’s mostly my wings that glow though but right now they’re… ehhh..” you trailed off, looking at your bandaged wings and shrugging.

It wasn’t long until you started hearing screaming, the city power going out was now making the city panic in a frenzy, “wait, what’s going on?” You asked, now seeing demons were running rampant and started getting hostile, “well- you see-“ Charlie tries to explain before a car flipped over next to her, making her jump in fright, “when the power of the city goes out- so does the internet…” Charlie explains, taking your hand, “which is why I think it’s best if we just head back to the hotel for the day.” She says, dragging you slightly as you ran from the city, Vaggie using an angelic spear to protect you both as you followed back to the hotel.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

Unbeknownst to you, Alastor and his rival were arguing through radio and video, making the power in hell go out. In a small meeting room of the Vee’s Tower, they talked about the radio demon and Charlie Morningstar, not to mention ‘miss shooting star,’ and how she would become a great use to them, specifically you.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You groaned, completely exhausted from the running and walking for half an hour, you three walked back in the Hotel, you hadn’t run in so long, you were completely out of it as you ‘plomped’ into the ground, in the same place as you did when you first arrived, Charlie plopping onto the sofa, tired as well. “So how’d it go?” Angel smirked, scrolling through his phone, “Not a single new recruit.” Vaggie said as she leans against the sofas arm rest, sighing.

You lift your head up from the ground, looking up to see the black kitty cleaning herself next to you, “Hey what’s her name?” You ask, hoping someone would answer, “her names Keekee, she’s the embodiment of the hotel.” Vaggie says, turning to you before hearing a knock at the door, “Keekeeee..” you called for her, scooting closer to her as her tiny paws lifted her up to walk closer to you. She rubbed her face against yours, purring, making your pupils dilate in pure joy, eyes sparkling.

You made a star and waved it around keekee, making her chase it like a red laser light. You giggled as you played with her, meanwhile Charlie got up to follow Vaggie to the door, passing by you and smiling at how comfortable you were beginning to feel in her hotel.

You sat up as you moved the star around with a swing of your finger, Keekee spinning in circles and chasing the star, you let her catch it eventually, she picked it up, jumping into your arms and purring, you stood up with Keekee in arms and turned to see the snake serpent from earlier with Charlie, you decided to talk to them to find out what’s going on, “hey Charlie, who’s the new guy?” You asked, the snake slithered behind Charlie after seeing you, “oh, he’s our new resident, Sir Pentious!” She exclaims excited before moving to the side to introduce the serpent to you, “Pentious, this is Y/n, she is also one of our staff members!” Charlie smiles as you stepped closer to Sir Pentious, “it’s nice to meet you,” you smile at him, with Keekee still in arms, “oh- and this is Keekee!” You say, lifting her up to show her to him as he waved nervously at you both, Keekee hissed at Sir Pentious and jumped out of your arms, making you frown with an “aww.”

“Okay, today, how about we start with some exercises?” Charlie asks, walking to the parlor, gathering a few of your attention, “Now! With a new resident, I think it’s important we all get to know each other, so we are going to play a little game.” Charlie says as you sat in a circle, sitting between Sir Pentious and Angel Dust, “everyone, follow me,” she says as she smiled, “my name is Charlie,” she clapped twice before kneeling down next to Vaggie, “I like to sing,” clap, clap, “and when we get to know each other, it’s the greatest thing!” She chimes, clapping twice again before gesturing her hand toward Sir Pentious, signaling it was his turn.

“My name’s Sir Pentious,” he clapped twice, nervously, “I like to build,” clap, clap, “and despite my stupid Egg Bois, I think i’m very skilled,” he clapped twice, happy about how smoothly he manages to play his part before gesturing his hand to you, signaling it was your turn now, you nervously sat up as you began, “uhh, my name is Y/n,” you clapped, slightly off beat, “I’m a former seraphim,” you clapped twice, on beat this time, “and if you can’t tell, I’m not good with rhythm.” You clapped, wanting the attention off of you from your silly act. You gestured your arm quickly to Angel who was on his phone, “this is stupid.” He deadpanned, looking up from his device, “this is not stupid,” Charlie clapped twice, walking toward Angel, “it’s just the game,” she smiled clapping again, “these two did it well so please try to do the same!” She sung, clapping twice as she leaned toward Angel.

“I am too sober for this.” He says, as he rubbed his temples, looking down, “Well, get used to it and learn how to play, this is gonna be your whole day.” Vaggie says before clapping twice, making you snicker a laugh. “Well how about we try something else?” Charlie says as she stepped back in the circle, “oh, I have an idea!!” You chimed, raising and waving your hand rather excitedly, “alright, what do you have in mind?” Charlie asks, you stand up before bringing Charlie’s hand together with your own, oblivious to Vaggie who immediately stood up for what ever reason, you used your ability to make a portion of cosmic dust into her hands, walking to do the same with the others, “what’s this for?” Charlie asked, looking at the glowing and sparkling dust in her hands, “It’s cosmic dust! I’m going to show you how to make stars.” You smiled, giving some to Sir Pentious and going to Angel, “ooh, this sounds rather interesting.” Charlie smiles, sitting down next to Vaggie, who also sat down next to her.

After giving everyone a portion of cosmic dust you were now in the lead to direct everyone, “okay so first, you want to try and shape out the dust into the form of a star as best you can.” you explained as you gave them a visual guidance with your own hands. “Next, you want to crush it together until it hardens and molds, easy right?” You smiled as you showed them the steps again, a star forming in your hands.

You giggled as you watched Sir Pentious try, only for it to explode in his face like he popped a balloon with glitter, “here, let’s try again,” you say as you summoned more dust for him, “first you shape it, then crush it like this!” You say as you guided him, thoroughly, the star wasn’t shaped perfectly but it was in his eyes as they sparkled from the new creation he had made. You walked off to help Charlie and Vaggie but you saw Charlie make it almost perfectly, “woah that’s amazing, not everyone can get it this well on their first try!” You complimented her, looking at the perfect curves on the star, “Oh, it’s not my first time, my dad used to teach me how to make them when I was younger!” She informs, making your heart stop for a moment, “oh, your dad, huh?” You pondered, “yeah, he used to always make them for some reason, he showed me how but it’s been a while since I have made one.” She said, raising the star close to her again, “that’s lovely…” you say as you stepped back, “I’m gonna go check on Angel since you got it, how about helping Vaggie?” You smiled, seeing as the dust had covered her face too.

You walked to Angel and kneeled down, “so how’s it going?” You asked. He looked up at you, seeing as he didn’t even bother to try, the dust still in his hands, “what do you think?” He says sarcastically, “well, I think you just need a little push!” You say, taking his hands toward you, shaping the star and helping him hold his hands together to mold it, “okay, now what?” He asked, not really interested, you laughed lightly, taking the star from his hands and clasping it into your own before opening your hands and giving the star back to Angel.

He looked at the star, seeing it was as the same until the star chimed, it blinked open its eyes, making Angel Dust blink in surprise, the star was now alive as it floated in Angels hand “now you get to keep it!” You say, going back to Pentious to make his star sentient as well.

You walked to Sir Pentious, who was still admiring how it glowed, you took it from him quickly, drawing his attention with a frown, giving it back to him quickly than he could say anything, his smile grew twice as much when the star squeaked in his hands, “this is such the sweetest thing.” Sir Pentious spoke before asking you, “Can it do labor?” With a serious tone, you nodded before walking away to Charlie and Vaggie, “perfect.” He said with a mischievous grin.

“So, how’s it going here?” You asked, as you kneeled down to the ground, “it’s actually going pretty well right now,” Charlie said, showing you both their stars, you smiled as you took them in your hands and admired their details, for some reason, you began to feel sentimental, you looked up at Charlie and for a second- you saw Lucifer. You blinked in surprise, shocked from your own delusions, you leaned away from them for a moment, just to see it was Charlie again, “are you alright?” Charlie asked, you recompose yourself with a quick, “yeah, yeah, sorry,” you sat up again, giving them both their stars, “I wanna try something with you, Charlie.” You requested, putting the star in her hand, “what is it?” She asked, “the star,” you pointed at it, “make it sentient.” You demanded, softly.

“How do I do that?” She asked, slightly confused at your request, “if you have powers like your father, there’s a chance you can make it come alive, just focus.” You smiled, sitting patiently as she looked at the star before closing her eyes and channeling her power through into it. The star began to emit a soft golden glow making your eyes widen in awe, that nostalgic feeling gnawing at you now and before you know it, the star chimed, shocking you completely, “oh my stars, you did it!” You squealed, leaning toward the star in her hand giggling in excitement, “I did?” She asked, surprised that you were fawning over her sentient creation, “yes! No Angel in Heaven were able to make sentient stars like me,” you say as you sat up again, “but you can!” You beamed, happy to find someone who could, “I’m just so happy a long life dream of mine became reality.” You smiled, feeling less alone in your unique abilities, “My father also taught me how do this, you know.” She smiled making you pause in surprise, “he did??” You say, surprised, “yeah, he said while Luna- uhm- you were making stars, he’d always watch you and eventually, he learned in your steps.” She smiled, making you feel mixed emotions of longing and disgust, one set of your mind feeling happy that he was strongly interested in your passions but the other felt rather insulted, like he took you own skills as his own, you didn’t know how to respond without feeling rather emotional to Charlie so you decided to avoid the subject of topic.

“That’s really nice and all,” you waved off the topic of Lucifer, “but how about we go to the next exercise of the day?” You asked, Charlie smiled and stood up, “for the next thing I want us to do is put on a little play,” she said, helping Vaggie up, “you guys wait here, I’ll go and get the others.” She smiled as she walked away from the parlor and into the lobby, leaving you four alone together. Sir Pentious was distracted, playing with the star he had made and Angel was on his phone, the star tucked in his chest fluff, leaving you and Vaggie staring at each other awkwardly, “so..” you began, “that weapon you carry around,” you pointed at Vaggie, “where’d you get it?” You asked, a little of hostility in your voice, knowing that exorcists bring harm to sinners, “Oh- I uh…” she stuttered, looking away from you, “I found it after one of the exterminations a few years back?” She shrugged, smiling nervously, making you stand up unconvinced, “I don’t wanna invade your privacy or anything but what happened to your eye?” You asked, pointing at your own, making her step back, you realized you were making her uncomfortable so you sighed, realizing your own anger, “sorry,” you apologized, “seeing you hold that weapon, really set me on edge earlier,” you explained, “I trust that you are using it to keep others safe?” You smiled, trying to sound comforting in way for her to understand, she nodded as well, “yeah, I use it to keep the others safe.” She smiled, turning to you, Charlie came back with Husk, Niffty and Alastor, stopping you from continuing your conversation, “perhaps you could explain another time?” You asked, Vaggie nodded in agreement, making you turn and walk away towards the sofa.

You sat next to Sir Pentious on the sofa as the others came along to join, Husk sat in the chair as Niffty squabbled around behind the sofa, staring deeply at Sir Pentious much to your disliking, it was rather uncomfortable, Vaggie sat next to Pentious on the other end and Alastor stood next to you. “Okay so between our two residents, i’d like them to act out this script,” Charlie said, walking towards Pentious, “You are going to play the innocent young boy and Angel,” she turned to him, “You are going to play the creepy old man.” she smiled, giving him his script, “wait, seriously?” he deadpanned, looking away from his phone to look at the paper.

“Now what you need are some outfits!” she chimed, giving Sir Pentious and Angel outfits for the little play, “just put these on and we can begin.” she said, sitting next to you after Pentious got up to put the clothes over his own.

After a while, Sir Pentious somehow had a comically large lollipop, licking the sugary treat, as Angel sighed, unenthusiastically, “oh, i’m a bad man on the streets, who never got enough hugs,” Angel began, looking at his script, “now, where’s an innocent kid I could sell crack too?” he asks, while you leaned forward in your seat, “wow, who wrote this?” Angel asks, baffled, “it’s great right?” Charlie smiled, making you look at her and Angel, “keep going!” she waved her hand downwards at him. “Hey, you,” Angel began again, pointing at Pentious before he looked back at his paper, “who, me?” Sir Pentious chimed, sparkling his eyes, “yeah, you look like a kid who could use some.. devil’s dandruff??” he questioned at the name, “oh, for fuck’s sake.” he said, rubbing a hand through his hair, “not me,” Sir Pentious said, shaking his head, “I have to go home and study!” he smiled, looking at Angel, “come on kid, it’ll make you cool like me..” Angel paused before looking up unimpressed, “the crack head.” “the only cool thing here is to say no to drugs,” Sir Pentious played on, shaking his head again, “now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!” he ginned, a hand to his chest with pride, proud of his act, Charlie stood up and clapped in amusement, “oh, bravo! bravo,” she smiled, walking to Pentious, “wow, Pentious, at this rate you’ll be redeemed in no time.” she complimented, you got up as well to join the conversation only to gaze at Angel as he spoke, “I.. I’m going to bed.” He said as he walked to the stairs with a frown, sensing that something was off, you watched him, concerned.

No one seemed to notice his mood as Charlie kept praising Sir Pentious for his wonderful acting, you decided to follow Angel, worried for him, sensing you could possibly relate to his troubles and through personal experience, you always wanted a shoulder to lean on so maybe that’s what he wanted as well? At least that’s what you think, “Angel, wait,” you called for him as you ran up the stairs. He stopped to turn to you, “what is it?” He asked bluntly, making you second guess yourself, “oh- uh- I noticed you might not be too happy” you stuttered, “so I just came to ask if you’re alright.” You say, a small smile wrying on your face, he sighed, “I’m fine.” He said, crossing his arms, avoiding your gaze, “okay, okay, well- if you need anything, I’m always here to help,” you offered, hugging your arm awkwardly, “if you need any at any time of course.” you say before turning away and going back to the others, “goodnight, Angel.” You waved at him, heading back downstairs with everyone else.

“And what do you think about my performance?” Sir Pentious asked, a little way too basked in with compliments, “oh- it was good,” you smiled at him, trying to go to Charlie to ask her something, “Hey Charlie, can I have some snacks?” You ask her, wanting to head to your room for the night, “Oh, sure! they’re in the kitchen down that hallway to the left.” She smiled, pointing to the direction, “thanks, i’m gonna head to my room for the night, so goodnight.” You waved at her, walking to the kitchen, hearing her telling you goodnight as well, not even acknowledging Sir Pentious was trying to talk to you.

After gathering yourself some snacks that might interest you, you waddled up to your room and laid in your bed, playing around with the sentient stars in your room that were raining star dust on the floor, they were making a mess but you didn’t mind as you just kept making more, munching away from your snacks. Your room was eventually covered in star and cosmic dust but to you, it was just a touch of your own decor, making feel more like you were at home.

It wasn’t long until you heard a thud through the walls, you sat up curiously until you heard shouting and fighting in the distance, you got out of your bed and walked out your room, seeing Charlie and Vaggie were also out of their rooms from the noise, Vaggie held that spear again, walking to the nearby room with muffled shouting, “What’s going on?” Charlie yawned, Vaggie standing next to her as you leaned to peek in the room, seeing it was Angel Dust and Sir Pentious, “this little bitch is a traitor!” Angel shouted, holding Pentious’ arm, “preposterous! I would never betray you…” Pentious exclaimed, slithering toward you and Charlie, “you… are my best friends!” he says hugging you both, making you smile that he sees you that way.

Angel was unimpressed from the facade he put on display for you three, “uh-huh, then explain this.” he said, pushing a book away from a hidden camera, making you drop your happy demeanor to hurt and surprise, it didn’t help when Pentious began to panic and started running towards the window, yelling at the watch in his wrist, demanding an evacuation. You were somewhat upset, you spent the entire day getting to know each other and it turned out to be he only did so because he was a spy? You wanted to just throw him out but you stopped yourself from getting close when you overheard the voice on his watch, “Pentious? Wait… you were caught?!” The voice questioned, “it hasn’t even been a day!” The voice laughed, you walked up to Pentious, looming over his conversation curiously, seeing who he was talking to, “please, you’ve got to get me out of here!” Pentious pleaded as you saw the unfamiliar voice had a head shaped like a T.V. with blue toned colors, you were at a loss for words, for some reason, this situation felt horribly nostalgic, it made you feel unforgiving and aggravated.

“I can’t believe we thought you could handle even something this simple,” the voice continued, rather disappointed, “do us a favor, if they don’t kill you,” he turned to Pentious, glaring at him, blue static emitting around it the watch, “go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure.” It finished, turning off, you looked at Pentious who was tearing up in disbelief, “I… I,” he paused before turning to the other three, “just make it quick, I guess..” he said, throwing his watch away and laying on the ground, you kicked the watch away in spite of the person that said cruel words, stepping toward Pentious “gladly.” Vaggie said as she held up her spear, seemingly more upset than you, you wanted to stop her but Charlie lowered her weapon, making you halt and step back, all you wanted to do was throw him out. “Wait,” Charlie said, walking to the crying serpent, “Pentious?” Charlie called to him, holding out a hand for him, He looked up at her confused before she began, “it starts with sorry.” She smiled at him, he blinked twice before taking her hands and she lifted him up as you were caught off guard from how seemingly forgiving Charlie was. “The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts but sorry is where it starts.” She began, trying to continue Pentious’ path to redemption, “it’s just a rough start but it’s just the beginning.” Charlie comforted Pentious, you were puzzled from the situation, he had betrayed everyone’s trust and yet, Charlie was stepping first, forgiving him.

“Who could forgive a dirt bag like me?” Pentious began to cry, making you step out the room to collect your own thoughts, “I don’t deserve your amnesty.” He said, lying on the ground again, Vaggie and Angel walked in unenthusiastically and indifferent, holding out weapons, “can’t we just kill him? Shoot him and spill his blood?” They asked, cornering him with their weapons, you didn’t bother with the conversation anymore as you were lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t even notice Niffty came along and stood next to you, watching.

While you leaned on the door, lost in thought, you didn’t notice Pentious came up to you and took your hand in his, “I just wanted to apologize for how I may have hurt you.” He said, looking at you with sincerity, “and?” You asked, unconvinced of his apology, “I genuinely did enjoy making stars with you today and was hoping we could make some more some other time?” He smiled at you, making your cold attitude change, you looked away from him to think, his expression displayed of genuine and promise, making you smile somewhat, you turn back to him, moving your hands away from his and gave him a simple answer, “sure,” you say with a soft smile, “but if you pull something like this again, you can see yourself against Vaggie spear.” You threatened, putting up a cold facade, half joking. You didn’t want anyone hurt but you also didn’t want yourself to hurt either.

Charlie sighed, satisfied with Pentious and his apologies full of sincerity, “good first day,” she said, putting a hand around Vaggie’s waist, smiling, “let’s get some rest,” She says, dismissing everyone for the night, “goodnight guys.” Charlie waved at everyone who left to their rooms.

You closed the door behind you as you entered your room, your stars were floating around as they chimed in your room. You walked to your bed and jumped into it, sighing in relief to finally be in bed again, you laid there for a moment before sitting up, thinking again, Sir Pentious wasn’t the first to betray you and seeing Charlie being so forgiving made you feel some sort of spark.. and you pondered as to why. Her guidance to forgiveness made you give Sir Pentious a second chance…

So if on that fateful night..

If you had listened to Lucifer, if you had gave a second chance…

Would things be different with the two of you? Or was it him just trying to use you like your mind has told you all these years?

You didn’t have any answers to your questions as you sighed, you grabbed the snacks you had left on the other side of your bed and began to munch on them again, sort of just eating to get your mind off things. You then tried to grab one of your wings carefully, guiding the stars that floated in your room to your injured feathers and used their stardust to heal the wounds you began to unwrap, they still looked awful but the blood has dried up long ago at least, you then carefully groomed your wings one at a time, letting dust gently lay on your cuts, healing them after a bit. You spent hours of the night healing the tiniest wounds you possibly had, practicing on yourself to learn how to heal better over time as the whole process for all your wings made you stay up through the whole night, you eventually fell asleep without even knowing.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

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[lunarmango]

Flickering Lights

Demon Alastor x Human reader fic? ON IT. I'm so siked to make this a series and I hope who reads this enjoys this as much as I do. I wanna get into writing. (I don't write, I draw) and I was thinking of making a longer fic, the details were so hard to piece together. I really enjoy the concept of demon Al with human reader. So here we go!

Word Count: 2k

TW: None for now? Pretty mild stuff haha.

Chapter One: Moving in

New Orleans, Louisiana

1946

Where wandering spirits were said to roam, walk and explore more frequently, being an area where people would find it easier to communicate with them, or so you were told. You were convinced it's utter nonsense to be completely honest. The whole notion of spirits was so far fetched you just couldn't bring yourself to even fathom them. Though not opposed to being proved wrong.

It's been years, saving for a house. Your apartment was small, cheap and far too crowded with furniture and items you just can't let go of. From a suffocating apartment to a house. You were practically buzzing from excitement. Like, literally almost shaking.

A new chapter in your life.

When you walked in, you suck air through your teeth in anticipation, the cool air hitting your teeth invigorating you, fingers fumbling with the old metallic keys that jingled in response, finally able to slot the correct one in the door and push open the dark wood hastily, the hinges swinging and the door practically flying.

You winced at the loud thud when it slammed on the white painted brick wall. Taking a few deep breaths, you decided it was best if you didn't wreck your new house on the first day. You think you would actually cry if you did, and you were not willing to test that theory. Checking the wall where the door hit with a small grimace of anticipation, you close the door behind you, relieved to see the wall is fine, your face relaxing again as you take yet another deep breath through your nose.

House tour!

Kicking off your shoes at the entrance, you begin wandering from room to room, you take in the spacious kitchen and living room. Though it lacked a certain homey touch. But you were aware why. There was no furniture after all. You had a vision for the house. Just had to wait 3 days before you could make it happen and the furniture would arrive. You had big plans, that did not pair well with your lack of patience. You already had multiple shitty sketches of how you roughly wanted each room to look. The furniture is all you need, it'll arrive soon enough. Hopefully.

You're going to need to find a way to pass the time.

First things first, you still haven't explored the upstairs! Running your hand gingerly along the wooden railing as you hop upstairs, the hard floor creaking occasionally under your feet every few steps, you take a sharp left and step into the master bedroom. It was massive. You feel a grin etch at your face as you peek your head inside. You're definitely getting a king sized bed. With a nod you left the room, confident you were going to be a pro napper at least a month within getting your new bed.

You open the door to the bathroom. Spacious enough, room for a decent sized tub and shower. Although you never really saw the point in baths if you wanted to get clean. You step out and look into the spare bedroom. Maybe a potential study? That or the attic. You always were sure that the environment can heavily affect the quality of ones work.

Was such a big house going to make you feel small? Possibly alone? You scoffed to yourself. Who cares when you have such a house?! Expensive too. Ho ho you were going to have fun "subtly" showing off this house to your friends.

With a quick, dismissive peek to the spare room you turn on your heels, going up the stairs to the attic with cautious steps, the worn wooden panels making such loud noises in retaliation to your steps that you were afraid that they would give in. Your hand gently opens the rattly metallic doorknob and open the door, squinting only to see a small switch on the side of the door. You flick it on and hear the buzz of a weak warm light turning on above you, fully illuminating the room the best the small warm light can.

First thoughts? Dusty. Very Dusty. Every box, book and the long desk and chair at the end of the room practically black and gray from the abundance of dust. A sigh escaping your lips, realising just how long you were going to be cleaning for, a task you were not mentally prepared for yet. Making your way to the desk, you approached a large wooden desk, most of the surface blocked by a large panel with knobs, switches, dials and little doodads that slide up and down. The sliding doodads having small, mini light bulbs at the top of each. You look at the corners and edges of the panel, looking for an on switch or something.

Nothing.

It was probably unplugged?

Nevertheless, as foreign as the panel seemed to you, a surge of determination drives through you to figure it out. It seemed expensive. Whoever used this probably cared deeply for it, the text of the brand faded, showing the love and use the panel had been provided with. If it was so well used, you had to figure out just why it was loved so much.

To begin, you had to figure out just what it is. Turning it on seemed like the obvious option.

Crouching under the table to look to where the cables lead, you notice a microphone on the floor. Wrapping your hand just above the flat base of the microphone, feeling the coolness of the metal and the sandy texture of the dust between your skin and the metal, you try to lift it. You were suprised to find your hand faltering slightly at the sheer weight of the microphone, dropping forward onto your knees to provide a better position to pick it up in, using both hands to stand up and set it in front of the panel with more ease. It wasn't that heavy. But you didn't want to drop it. Wasn't this supposed to have headphones...?

Once more, you go down on all fours, looking under the desk, when no sign of somewhere to turn on the panel or headphones appears, you circle round to the back of the desk, finding a wire and an unplugged plug. With a small huff that caused far too much dust to fly in the air, triggering a cough from you. Slotting the plug in the panel above you hums to life and flickers on once more. A small hushed yes emerges from you as you slowly stand up, brushing the dust from your knees, then your hands.

You walk back in front of the desk, flipping some random switches for the hell of it, satisfying metallic clicks and clanks as a result of your tampering. Then proceeding to tap the microphone, you blow on it to rid it of the pesky dust, stepping back to let the dust fall.

You took a moment to appreciate just how expensive this radio setup must have been, so big and complicated it made your mind whirl just trying to decipher what each control did. You brush away some more of the dust from the panel, running your finger between the buttons, trying to look for labels, or some sort of guidance, only to find them worn out, white writing so etched and scratched at on the metallic reddish-brown surface that it was unreadable. A soft smile tugging at your lips in realisation of just how loved this equipment really was.

You’ve seen the basics of what a radio setup should look like, without having to remember the separate into bitty details of the control. Panels, a microphone. Where were the headphones? You look below the desk, bending at an uncomfortable angle to the shelves situated under the left of the desk.

Nothing.

Not like you could broadcast anything even if you wanted to. Why do they use the headphones? To listen to the sound of their own voice? How proud and snobby must one be to love their voice that much? An audible scoff from you. You know you wouldn’t be able to put up with anyone of the sort.

Using both hands, stabilising the microphone properly, you pick it up, with a smart smirk, looking at the empty wall you begin speaking to your imaginary viewers, mocking the accent radio people had to use to the best of your ability. “Hello my dear viewers! Welcome back to my boring ass show, talking about shit that probably serves as background noise” A snicker escapes your lips as your smirks stretches wider in amusement, gently putting the microphone back down.

Eager to make your made up show more believable, you move away from the desk, eyes scanning the worn wooden panels of the floor. Remembering you looking earlier you let out a hefty sigh. Were you really going to spend hard earned money for a few minutes of make-believe mucking about like a child?

Oh definitely.

Lost in thought, still staring at the floor, chuckling in thought a distinct noise snaps you out of the haze of your mind.

Click

You look over your shoulder to the direction of the noise, the desk, trying to place the exact location.

Another click

It was from the panel? You turn back to the panel, looking down on the panel as the clicks increase in frequency, switches being flicked, dials turned. A particular pattern caught your eye being the fact that during the abundance of alterations to the controls of the panel, no knob or slide was altered twice, almost if it was altering itself the clicking now a steady rhythm. What a ridiculous idea, as clueless as you were about the technology you were almost certain it wasn’t that advanced.

The clicks slowly come to a stop, one last slider slowly going upwards to a certain line before it stops completely.

“Eager to hear my voice?” You mutter under your breath, a dial slowly turning, one of your eyebrows quirking up in response. Spirits and ghosts don’t exist.

There’s always a what if.

What if they do exist?

What if you’re the first to fully realise this?

What if you’re living a ghost story?

After all, things moving on their own in the dusty attic of an old house was never a good sign.

Yeah no who were you kidding.

But just to make sure.

You bend at the waist, your lips as inch away from the crosshatched metal of the top of the microphone.

“Can you hear me?” You say in a teasing low purr, holding back a laugh in your lungs, helping to alleviate the tension you’re beginning to feel rising up in you, pressing in on the sides of your head. Jokes always help. Well. Not always. However you can’t exactly help it either.

A flicker of the small light bulbs, emitting a warm light above the sliding controls. You couldn’t help but still be sceptical. Your voice now has a newfound edge, the whole situation making you uncomfortable.

“You- can?”

Another flicker from the same small light bulbs.

A nervous laugh rumbling from your chest.

You had to figure this out, because you wouldn’t put going insane past you. Maybe a break from the attic would be good. Probably buy some headphones. As unsettling as the panel is, having the set incomplete irks you unnecessarily, and it was an enigma you couldn’t help but feel determined to figure out.

[coryosbaby]

Ultraviolence - E.L & C.M

(pt. 1)

Fandom: “Scream Vi”

Pairing: Stepbrother! Ethan Landry x fem! Reader, Chad Meeks Martin x fem! Reader (not in this chapter), Ethan Landry x Chad Meeks Martin (not in this chapter)

Warning: dubcon, stepcest (stepsister x stepbrother), reference to being siblings while fucking (I’m sorry), jealousy, p n v, Ethan isn’t a virgin in this, loss of virginity for reader, Cherry popping, slight blood kink, scent kink, sir kink, dark! Dom! Ethan, sub! Reader, slight perv! Reader, Ethan is older (19/20), reader is of age, quinn doesn’t exist ig, masturbation, fingering, corruption kink, degradation, choking, a little bit of titty worship

A/N: this is the first part to the stepbrother! Ethan landry fic! <3 heavily imagining the way Ethan acts after the ghostface reveal for this, bc he’s just so cray cray and fine 😜 so he’s like, majorly unhinged and cocky 💗💋 reader is also hyperfem ! (I like pt 2 better honestly pls bear with me)

When you first figured out that your mom was marrying, you were ecstatic. She deserved to be married to a decent guy, and Wayne was someone in that category. He was nice, had money, and you didn’t dislike him.

When you first met Ethan, however, he made you nervous.

You didn’t hate him, per say. But the intense look he gave you the first time he was forced to shake your hand put a chill up your spine. His gaze itself cut into you like a knife. Polar opposites, him in dark sweaters, t-shirts, and jeans. And you? Clad in the shortest skirts, in the tightest tops.

The boy had ignored you the first few weeks of knowing each other. Now moved in, you’re both in the same house. Your rooms are right across from each other’s: yours completely covered in pink, with flower and hello kitty accessories laying about. Ethan’s is definitely different; a little bit less cluttered, most of it blue. A bookcase in one corner. You knew this because he left his door open quite often.

You regret not paying attention to that tiny detail.

It’s a sunny day. The sun is shining brightly down on you as you rest beside the pool in your backyard. Clad in a checkered pink bathing suit, your hair is thrown up with a claw clip and you’re spread out on a towel. Suntanning is one of your favorite activities, and today is great for it.

Wayne is at work and your mom is away doing errands. You don’t know where Ethan is. Probably in the living room watching a show, you suspect. It’s what he usually does.

You sigh, and pop the knuckle of your left hand. It’s definitely time for a drink, and you want to get your Bluetooth speaker.

When you go inside, you climb up the stairs to your room. Ethan’s door is slightly cracked, but not to the point where you can see inside. Not unless you’re close to it, at least. He must be busy.

You roll your eyes when you catch sight of the dress you’re going to be forced to wear at your mom’s wedding resting on the top of your dresser. You love her, but the woman does not have a good sense of style.

Grabbing the small speaker in your hand, you begin to make your way back outside.

And that’s when you hear it.

A groan, and then something wet.

Its coming from Ethan’s room, and sounds like him. And it’s as if the sounds he’s making started up right when you went to leave. And with his door unlocked? It couldn’t be that wrong to be curious and see what he was doing, could it?

You approach the door, not really thinking it through. And when you catch sight of the room through the crack of the door, it takes everything in you not to rub yourself.

You can see Ethan on his bed, shirt off and his bottom lip caught in between his teeth, his sweats pulled down to expose himself. He’s looking at his cock, face scrunched up in pleasure, and god, he’s big. You can feel your face heating up, can feel your swimsuit beginning to get soaked with more than just water.

“Oh… shit. Yeah, baby. You like that cock, don’t you? You dirty little bitch.” He growls, and it’s like he’s saying it directly to you.

And maybe he is. Because as his thumb is rubbing the tip of his cock, he looks directly at your quivering form in the door, thrusts his hips into the air, and cums.

You’re trying your hardest to avoid Ethan.

And who wouldn’t? He’s your fucking stepbrother and you just watched him jack off; not only that, but he orgasmed when he saw you watching. It’s fucked up.

You try to push the guilt of touching yourself later that night to the thought of it down. And it’s hard. Ethan sends you glances, a lot more noticeable than his usual ones, and when you make eye contact with him he looks at you with mischievous eyes.

And then comes the day that you’re both alone again. You’re on the couch watching a show, trying to get your mind off of Ethan. When of course, he comes down the stairs, wearing a black button up shirt and jeans. The shirt hugs his muscles and you try not to pay attention to that. He sits down beside you.

“Hey, sis.” His voice is amused, and you don’t look at him as you adjust your thigh highs.

“Hey, Ethan.” You mumble. The tv show is suddenly very interesting.

“I like this show, too. Really good.” He notes, as if this isn’t the first set of words you’ve ever really said to each other. His hand rests on the top of your thigh and the movement makes you jump out of your seat. You look at him for a moment and then scurry to the kitchen.

“Where are you goin’ sis?” He questions loudly.

“T-To…get something to drink!”

You go to the fridge to open the door and pull out a Cherry Coke, nervous hands skimming over other drinks to have an excuse to stay in the room for longer. You jump when you turn around and Ethan is leaning against the counter. He looks calm, a small smirk playing on his handsome face.

“Can you get me one too, sweet thing?”

The nickname makes you flush, and you turn around to reach back into the fridge and grab another Cherry Coke.

You hold it out to him, but instead of grabbing the drink his hand goes to wrap around your wrist to pull you closer. You inhale sharply when his hand comes up to move a piece of your hair out of the way. He then leans into you, so much that you can feel his breath. You clench your eyes shut and pull away when his lips almost touch yours.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“E-Ethan…” he’s looking at you so intently, that it makes you flush under his gaze. And then his fingers move to the thin strap of your top, playing with it. He seems deeply concentrated on it. Or, more likely, your tits. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do or… or trying to start, but we can’t-”

“You’re really pretty, do you know that?” He interrupts, and you stutter, not really knowing how to reply.

“Y-Yes? I mean, a lot of people say it, but…” he looks up at you and smiles.

“You’re so sweet, too. So innocent..” he frowns, his grip tightening on your shirt strap. “But maybe you aren’t. Because you’re a little pervert, aren’t you baby?”

“I-I didn’t… I didn’t mean to-“

“But you did. Don’t lie to me.”

“I-I’m sorry…” you say, breathless.

And then, without warning, he’s kissing you. You gasp at the harshness of his mouth, and he yanks you closer to him by your hair. He turns you around to shove your body against the counter, as if you weigh nothing. You moan, and he reaches down to grope one of your tits in his hand.

“Let me see these. Now.”

You whimper, hesitant, so Ethan makes the decision for you. He yanks your straps down and your tits spill out, nipples hard and stiff from your arousal. He brings one into his mouth and sucks, his teeth scraping the swollen skin.

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to see these tits, sweetheart.” His cock grinds against your clothed pussy, and you thrust your hips forward.

“This is… god, this is so wrong, fuck…”

“But you want it, don’t you? Dirty girl.”

His strong hands go underneath your ass and lift you up on the counter. He brings his mouth back to yours, and groans when you touch his hard bulge through his sweats. Fuck it. What’s done now can’t be undone.

“I do want it, sir. Wan’ it so bad.”

He lifts your skirt up, moves your underwear to the side, and sticks his middle finger in your tight heat. You hide your face in his chest, his smell making your brain cloudy, makes you forget the possibility that both of your parents could come home at any moment.

“You’re such a wet little thing.” He breathes. “Gonna let me fuck this sweet pussy, baby?”

You nod shyly, and he laughs.

“C’mon, baby, don’t get shy on me now. Let me see you. ”

You look up at him, and he grips your throat.

“Are you going to let me fuck you?” He questions again.

“Yes sir.”

And then moments later you’re bent over the counter, virgin pussy spasming around Ethan’s incredibly large length. You’re crying, the stretch painful, but nonetheless he feels amazing.

His big hands grip your hips harshly as he slams into you, sweat beading on his chest. When he looks down, your creamy fluid mixed with blood drips down his cock, and he grins.

“Awww, baby. You’re bleeding! ” He mocks. “Little virgin pussy can’t handle my fat cock, can it?”

You mewl, thrusting your hips back harder, craving more of him.

“Yeah, pretty baby. That’s it. Take your big brother’s cock.”

[intothegenshinworld]

Fate’s Destiny ~ Chapter 9 || Gnoses

You somehow, not being able to explain it, had fallen into the Genshin world you know oh-so-well. You were no new player and had explored most of the nooks and crannies of the world. When you first had woken up in Windrise you wondered; it might be a dream, after all, you were behind your screen usually, and now- here? It made no sense, and the world was keen on keeping it that way.

Warnings: Spoilers for main story.

Word count: 6.4k+

Summary chapter 9: we continue where we left off; you with the gnosis in the inn and Kaeya bursting through the door. Why is here here in Liyue? And more importantly; will he be able to aid you with your deteriorating memories?

Auteurs note: The beginning of the year was a bit hectic. Expect sporadic updates!

Thanks to: all the people who showed love on the last chapter <3

↺ PREVIOUS CHAPTER || ↻ NEXT CHAPTER || MASTERLIST

Kaeya stands in the doorframe. He is out of breath. You watch his chest rise and fall rapidly, and his expression is twisted into distress, a strange thing for a supposedly joyful reunion. 

“Kaeya?” You watch a drop of water fall from his navy blue hair onto the wooden floor below. “I don’t understand… What are you doing here?” 

As you gaze at him, his expression softens. His gritted teeth relax, making his mouth fall open, and his eyes soften as he stops furrowing his brows. He radiates stress, yet you can still sense his usual warm and inviting aura.

A grunt escapes his lips and you watch him struggle to get any words from his mind out of his mouth.

Worry now flashes across your face as you turn your head to look over at Lumine. “Did something happen?” 

Aside from Kaeya, the Cavalry Captain from Mondstadt being in Liyue , she too seemed distressed when she first opened the door. Her golden eyes make contact with yours before they move over to the side. She stares at something slightly to the left of you. When you follow her gaze, your eyes meet the gnosis standing solitary on the table.

Without any thought, you’re reaching your hand forward to the potent object, securing it in your seemingly powerless hold before returning her gaze.

The gnosis hums a low tune throughout your body. "Are we in danger?" 

Lumine quickly shakes her head. “No, no. We’re fine.” With the flick of her wrist she turns the handle of her sword, dissipating it into elemental particles that shimmer in the air before disappearing. She continues, “Nothing happened.” 

“But Kaeya?" With confusion, you gesture your free hand to him. The whole ordeal seemed too strange for her answer to be ‘nothing’.  

“He…” Lumine trails off as she looks up at the Cavalry Captain. 

He still hasn’t said anything at all. Not a ‘hi!’, not a ‘how have you been? Last time I saw you we were about to get into a fight on Dragonspine.’; nothing. And when you start to think about it, you’re unsure whether you prefer the silence over the inevitable explaining you’ll have to do. 

“He had a long journey,” Lumine says as she gives him a pat on the back. “I think he needs a shower and some dry clothes before he’ll be able to explain everything.” 

“Right.” 

You look over at him. If only you could tell him he’s awaiting a much worse explanation from your side than he'll ever be able to present himself. Nonetheless, a smile finds its way onto your face as you watch your familiar companion move through the room.

Kaeya was able to salvage his spare clothes from his drenched backpack—which probably has seen better days. You admit he does appear to be in a better state once out of the shower. You had only traveled long distances once with Lumine, and his journey from Mondstadt city to Liyue harbour was much longer than the one you made. Perhaps he’d been overwhelmed instead of distressed. 

As you observe him, he notices your fixated gaze on him and he sends you a toothy smile, one which you return with joy. “You look better.” 

“You too.” He replies.

You're unsure of the meaning behind his words. When you try to think about it, your mind blanks. Had you really looked worse in Mondstadt? All you can remember is the cold welcome you had gotten, so perhaps he meant you looked more relaxed?

For a while, you can’t quite grasp your head around the situation, and you’re not sure why. If anything, with your dull eyes and your skin seeming to fade into transparency, you should look worse.

Your eyes follow Lumine as she walks across the room. Once she reaches your side, she takes a seat on the couch next to you. On her other side, Paimon stops flying and plops down with a soft thud. The pixie had been quiet when the three first came back, but she’s returned to filling the air with her usual chatter again. 

A high-pitched voice interjects the silence.‘’Paimon knows everyone is relaxing, but Paimon is still confused. We know that Kaeya was in Liyue as a diplomat to check up on local business, but that doesn’t make sense. Why would the Acting Grand Master send Kaeya after Rex Lapis returned?”

Kaeya crosses his legs and sends her a teasing smile. “What can I say? Word about the geo Archon’s death spreads faster than his revival.’’ He twirls his hand into the air, “When I was on the road, rumors had already begun to circulate. With new information but no visual confirmation of it, I wouldn’t have been able to return to Jean, would I?’’

“Paimon knew that!” She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. 

You catch a fleeting moment of eye contact between Kaeya and Lumine. With the latter next to you and the former on the loveseat across, it’s inevitable, yet you refrain from pointing it out. 

An unsettling feeling arises in your chest. 

You feel left out.

After a moment longer, you clear your throat. “So nothing happened after we got separated on Dragonspine?”

Kaeya’s eyes move from your figure over to your Lumine once more. Despite being happy to see him again, neither of you had a chance to say goodbye when you suddenly ended up in Liyue. And now he’s here, sharing hesitant glances with your travel companions while everyone refrains from giving you the full story of what had happened in your absence.

“To be honest, you certainly gave Albedo and me a scare when you disappeared. Admittedly, it took a while to convince Eula to calm down, but once Albedo’s doppelganger left, we all dropped our weapons to figure out what had happened.“ Kaeya sighs and shakes his head. “Not that it made much sense after. But… I was able to feel your aura. Though I wasn’t able to pin down where you went, I knew you were alive. And for the first few days, that was enough.“

“Wait, a doppelganger ?“

“Yeah,“ Kaeya tries to smile confidently but he ends up cringing instead, “We let Albedo handle that one on his own.“

“So the Acting Grand Master is not mad for you hiding me?”

Kaeya locks eyes with you, his gaze strong and unwavering. He sends a warm smile your way. Despite the tension from before, you feel your heart skip a beat. “I am thankful, but please don’t worry about me, dearest Creator.”

You feel the weight of the gnosis in your pocket. It suddenly feels like a heavy burden. For a moment, you felt yourself again, but with the way Kaeya said it, you have to believe his words; you are the Creator.

“Woah. Paimon suddenly feels very grateful that Paimon didn’t give you an ugly nickname.“ You watch Paimon shiver as she imagines it. “Though we’ve already met a god, the Creator of everything seems much more powerful.”

A laugh escapes your lips, breaking the short silence. “What nickname would you have given me?“

“Well…“ Paimon buckles under the pressure of your curious gaze. For a moment, she intensely thinks about it, only to shake her hands defensively in front of her figure right after. “Paimon obviously can’t say it!“

Lumine taps Paimon’s shoulder, throwing her off balance. “And this is why you shouldn’t give every single person you meet an ugly nickname.“ 

“Paimon can’t help it!“

The warm sound of infectious laughter reverberates through the room. Kaeya holds a hand to his stomach, the eye without the patch closed. As he struggles to compose himself, his victorious smile radiates, casting a warm glow across the room. “Seems you've found your place here quite seamlessly.”

Paimon huffs, arms crossed. “We tried to tell you.” Her expression sours, “But Paimon thinks Lumine would’ve been worried as well if she had many bad dreams like you did.” 

Your eyebrow raises before they settle into a frown. “Bad dreams?” You turn your head to Kaeya who looks guilty. “You’ve been unwell?” 

“Don’t worry.” Lumine cuts in and a sigh of relief echoes through the room. “A lot has happened these past few weeks but I promise you that Paimon and I will keep you safe. Simply focus on getting your memories back. Afterward, all should be better for everyone.”

Lumine speaks rationally but her promise doesn’t sit well with you. Ultimately, try as you might, there was no counterargument against her. Even as the Creator, with your remaining memories slipping through your fingers, there was nothing you could do. 

Seeing the outlander's determined gaze, you find yourself unable to mirror the same resolve. As thoughts circulate, you start to feel pressure build up in your mind, trying desperately to cling to the last memories of your identity. 

“I must say, I’ve been quite curious.” Kaeya saves you from your thoughts as he speaks out to you. “You seem to have a more exciting story to tell compared to mine. Meeting the geo Archon and simultaneously reviving him after he fakes his death just because he wants to be with you? Now that’s a headline.” 

“It’s less exciting than it seems. It might be a long and boring conversation.”

Kaeya crosses his arms and makes himself comfortable in the lovechair. “We’ve got all the time in the world, my dearest Creator.”

After Kaeya prompted you to talk about your adventures, you rambled for nearly two hours. Not that he ever seemed to mind your neverending word vomit. Throughout your one-sided catching up, he kept an inviting smile on his face, only ever interrupting you to ask questions that got you talking for even longer. 

Lucky for you, with the rain continuously pouring outside there wasn’t any rush for Kaeya to leave. For a moment you could let all your worries out. It was a nice change of pace from glaring at the gnosis and hoping it’d give you back your memories in due time. 

You move in your seat. “Are you staying in Liyue for long?”

Kaeya inhales sharply. He lowers his head, causing the curtain of his bangs to cascade over his face. “While I’d love to be at your side for longer, my ride back to Mondstadt is leaving tomorrow and I still have business to take care of.” 

A silent nod conveys your understanding. While you weren’t surprised at his answer, you had hoped he could aid you in your quest to recover your memories. His presence alone had been enough to make you feel at ease during these distressing times. 

“Oh?” Kaeya smiles playfully. “You look at me as if this is goodbye.”

“It’s not?” 

“I certainly hope not.” He fixes the strands of hair that hang in front of his covered eye. “Besides, it is fate that has led us together all this time. I have the feeling that I’ll see you again sooner or later.”

You smile to yourself. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

After giving you a firm nod, Kaeya stands up from the lovechair. He stretches both of his legs and then moves his head to face Lumine. You’re unable to capture their expressions from your position but you witness them nod once—seemingly in agreement, before returning their attention to you. 

Kaeya speaks up first, letting out a laugh between words. “I better head out before my ride gets upset.”

The pixie hovers closer, “Paimon was wondering, who took you to Liyue? Paimon doubts anyone would willingly visit this chaos. It must be someone important, right?”

“Some people would argue his importance in this situation, but yes. You know him. A certain redhead we’re both familiar with had to check up on business after his connections got shut down. And I won’t say no to an opportunity where I can steal a few bottles of wine in the shipment he’s making.”

“Oh!” Paimon realizes something. “You mean Diluc? He is the only winemaker with red hair that we met in Mondstadt.”

“And basically the one to own the entire industry there,” Kaeya states playfully. He turns his head back to you. 

A torrent of emotions engulfs you, a tumultuous mix of grief, joy, fear, resentment, bliss, and emptiness,—each of them hitting harder than the last.

It disappears as quick as lighting strikes, leaving you to doubt if these emotions were real or a figment of imagination. 

Kaeya speaks again, pulling you back into the presence. “Good luck with everything. I know you’ll figure this out, whatever ‘it’ might be.” He then looks at Lumine, “I fear you’ll have to be better at protecting them than I have. Be safe, alright?”

The traveler meets his gaze, giving him a reassuring nod that acts as a silent promise. 

Before closing the door, Kaeya sends each of you a wave. A bittersweet feeling swirls in your stomach as you bid him goodbye. “Safe travels, Kaeya.”

Paimon, too, waves at him as the door closes.

“Bye Kaeya!”

Lumine seems different ever since she returned with Kaeya. Something is off. She seems worried. 

Paimon, on the other hand, seems more cheerful than before. She clings to your side whenever she’s allowed to and has spent the last hour discussing all the things you should do together after you regain your memories. 

You don’t have the heart to tell her that you fear it might never happen at this point.

“So… What do you want to do next? Paimon saw how much Kaeya’s advice seemed to help you. Maybe you needed the short break from the gnosis.”

Right, Kaeya did give you advice on the matter. 

You look down at the gnosis in your hand. Kaeya had never seen one before, which made sense, but it took you some effort to explain what it was without making things complicated. Such a small object holds such a great power. It’s ridiculous.

He turns his eyes from the gnosis back to you as he starts speaking. “Why don’t you ask Rex Lapis himself? After all, he is the best person to seek answers from. As much as I love Mondstadt, I fear our Archon is as free as its people, so I can’t advise you to come back with me on a journey to find the lost Barbatos.”

You remember how your mind spun at his words. For some reason, his advice seemed so familiar. Even now, you don’t doubt you had heard it before and had simply forgotten. With memories slipping in and out, it’s hard to make out what you did and didn’t already do.

Then, you recall Zhongli. Or, Rex Lapis as you should say. He gave you the gnosis, something you supposedly had given him in the past. 

Was he right to put his faith in you?

“I think I’m afraid of disappointment. Zhongli—I mean Rex Lapis—he looked at me with so much confidence… as if I could save the world if I wanted to and yet I’m unable to remember anything about myself.” You look down at your hands. “I’m afraid his belief in me might be misplaced. What if I’m a fake after all?”

Kaeya was quick to respond. So quick, your doubts washed away with his words. “I assure you, you’re not.” 

He had moved his hand on top of yours, the gnosis now engulfed by both your hands and one of his. If he felt the vibrations from it, he did a good job of hiding it. The suave smile he sends you floods your brain with shortlived memories, enough to last a lifetime of him by your side. 

Then his hand squeezes, and he speaks again. “I might not worship the geo Archon, but I’m confident he’ll answer any questions you’ll have.”

The gnosis is currently on the table. The moment Kaeya left, you put it down and away from yourself. Its glow is dim once you’re out of reach and you no longer feel its energy pulse through your body. It’s a relief. 

Maybe you should arrange a meeting between you and Zhongli. It’s not like you hadn’t thought of it before. But the question remains; how? You weren’t ready to expose yourself to the public as long as you didn't have answers, so how could you contact him discreetly?

Lumine finally decides to enter the conversation between you and Paimon by sitting down next to you. She seems hesitant, and it takes her a moment to voice her own opinions. ”If you’re not sure what to do next, we can always wait a few more days. There’s no need to rush this.”

You want to agree with her, you really do, but you know you’re running out of time. 

You can feel it slipping away while a feeling of impending doom nestles in its place.

”I know I’d want to meet the geo Archon again. Last time I was overwhelmed and I had no idea how to even talk with him, but now I’m prepared. I’m sure I’ll be able to get answers this time.”

”Paimon is so excited!” She floats up before hovering down again. ”It seems like you finally know what to do to get your memories back.”

You let out a breath of air you had been holding on to. ”I don’t, but Rex Lapis will.”

”So you’re meeting him again?” Lumine asks. 

You nod. ”I’m not sure how to get his attention though. Last time he made a big spectacle. I hope to avoid that this time to preserve the little privacy I have left.”

”Paimon is not sure who to ask either. But maybe Paimon and Lumine could ask the Qixing for you!”

You look at Lumine. She seems less keen on this plan and offers something else after a moment of thinking. ”We can go tomorrow morning together before crowds begin to form. This way you won’t be alone and you’ll immediately be able to meet Rex Lapis when we ask the Qixing for an audience.”

”Are you sure I won’t cause a commotion?” 

”Paimon and I have been in the city lots of times these past days. Usually, crowds start to form at eight in the morning.” Lumine looks up at the clock in the room. She seems to calculate something in her mind. ”The Qixing most certainly wakes before the common citizens do. If we head out right before the sun starts to rise, we will be fine.” 

You nod to yourself. It sounds like a good plan. With Lumine by your side, you will feel safe enough, and you’ll be wearing your trusty cloak, so you agree to her plan.

“It’s already so late. Paimon didn’t expect Kaeya to stay for as long as he did. Seems like he’s fond of chatting, as usual.” She states in a dramatic tone which makes you laugh. 

“Maybe, but I enjoyed the reunion. I feel more certain about myself. I’m not sure why though.”

“You know,” Lumine hesitates, “You can talk to us as well if you need it.”

There’s an underlying disappointment in her words. You’re not sure if it’s directed to you or herself, but she makes a fair point. In these past few weeks, you haven’t made the best effort to properly ask her for help when you needed it, even when she had been ready to set aside her own mission to aid you. You hid your troubles away, which might’ve only made her more worried as a result.

You look at your hands. They feel distant from you and you can see the floor through your skin. Seems like that hasn’t changed.

Tomorrow you’ll properly thank her for all she’s done. Hopefully, when you meet Rex Lapis all the missing puzzle pieces will fall in place and you’ll be able to recognize yourself again.

A yawn echoes through the room. “Well. Paimon is heading off to sleep. After all that talking and running around, Paimon can barely stand. If you need Paimon, wait till morning!” She lazily rubs her eyes one last time and then flies off, assumingly to sleep. 

“You should sleep too if you can.“ Lumine says. “Tomorrow is a big day if all goes well.“

A sigh escapes your lips. “I hope so.“

With a swift but calculated motion, you grab the gnosis from the table and stand up from the couch. Familiar energy pulses vibrate through your body, but instead of making you feel alert and awake, it soothes you and puts you in a relaxed state.

“Goodnight, y/n.“

You put your last remaining energy into a smile for Lumine. “Goodnight.“

You don’t quite remember waking up. Hell-, it’s still pitch dark when you stand outside of the main exit to the inn, ready to confront an Archon for answers. However, it would undoubtedly turn into another tea party if it were up to Zhongli.

The only comfort you get this morning comes from the energy flowing from the gnosis into your body. It hums and cradles the nerves inside your chest. Once again, you look back down for the so-manyth-time since stepping outside. And once more, the glow of the gnosis is concealed by your cloak.

You just need to keep it safe for a while longer. A low hum echoes through your mind in agreement, and you squeeze the gnosis just a tad tighter to your body.

A voice squeaks over your loud thoughts, “Paimon isn’t sure where we should look first. Maybe we could ask the people at the docks for some information? They always seem to know a lot.“

Lumine huffs out a sarcastic laugh. “Word travels faster to the Qixing than we’ll find it. All we have to do is walk around the harbor and wait.”

“Do you think it’d be that easy?” You reply.

“Yes. Even before, the Qixing is widely known to have eyes everywhere. And with the Creator walking around in their domain, it’s only natural for their gaze to be fixed upon us.”

As the three of you depart from the inn and further into the harbour you find yourself growing more anxious. There are only a few people visible on the streets. Most of these people are setting up shops or stalls to prepare for the crowds that’ll inevitably suffocate these streets within mere hours, but it’s not the people who make you nervous. It’s the festive decorations that have been put up. 

More than once, you realized it had been a celebration for the Creator, so you can only hope no one will recognize you while your face is pasted on every corner of Liyue.

Paimon, who’s been floating next to you, turns her head to the side. “Paimon thinks you don’t have to worry. Remember the lady who was with Rex Lapis when he gave you the gnosis?”

You nod. If you hadn’t been as caught up in your world you probably would’ve spent more time observing her, but it was hard to forget a face like hers. She looked familiar.

“Well, she’s the Qixing’s Tianquan, Ningguang. From the Jade Chamber above, she is aware of every confidential meeting, every private conversation, and every new visitor to the city! A storyteller once told Paimon that she enchanted the Jade Chamber in a way that allows her to eavesdrop on everyone in the city's private conversations.” 

Paimon visibly shudders after her own story. She wraps her arms around her body as she floats forward. “Though Paimon hopes that the last part is wrong. Anyways, she’ll surely find us like the traveller said.”

“Not to mention the geo Archon himself,” Lumine adds. “It’s only a matter of time. We just have to be confident it’s either one of them noticing us, and not the Fatui.”

As the three of you continue to walk through the harbor, you notice that Lumine never takes a shortcut and actively goes out of her way to remain in the public eye. A few people already recognized her and have waved in her direction, greeting the traveller and Paimon as they pass the stalls that seemingly appear out of nowhere. 

While it makes you uncomfortable, you realize Lumine is doing all of this on purpose. She’s actively putting herself in the spotlight while making sure you remain in her shadows. All to get the attention of the people you’ve been trying to reach. 

And while Lumine had mentioned the Fatui before, you had foolishly forgotten any enemies you could’ve made during your stay in Teyvat. After all, it wasn’t long ago that a whole nation had decided you were an imposter and tried to cause an uproar because of it.

Perhaps your comfort had been the exact reason why someone was able to grab hold of your arm and force your body into the dark ally. 

You hear Paimon yell before you can, the sharp movement of a sideways pull makes you feel as if you’re being dashed forward and successfully takes the breath out of your lungs, making you unable to scream for help.

A hand gently but firmly replaces its hold on your forearm. It guides you to the side and you’re certain you’ll fall—until you don’t. For some reason, your attacker tries to steady you, making sure you don’t tumble forward or hurt yourself. 

Your heart races against your ribcage and your breaths are shallow and fast. One moment you’re close to feeling safe in public and then you’re back into danger, or so you assume. 

You blink a few times, slowly getting adjusted to the darkness.

“Xiao?”  

Dark hair with teal undertones frames a pale face that homes a serious expression. Out of everyone, you hadn’t expected to see him today. While the situation he put you in was questionable, you trusted him.

His golden eyes move over your form until they hastily land on Lumine who now stands at the front of the entrance to the alley, her swords sheathed and appearing equally as confused and alarmed as you by the situation. She takes a step forward, hesitating to attack but determined enough to keep you safe if needed.

“You’re being followed.” Xiao’s warning is directed towards Lumine and his voice is a tone colder than it used to be in past conversations—there’s an unfamiliar sharp edge underneath his words. Xiao eyes something you can’t see. 

You finally register his words.

“Wait what? Who? ” 

“The Fatui.” Lumine spats the words out, catching on quicker than you do. Her voice is close to venom and she turns her body around to face the assumed stalker. Because of her reply, you’re certain she already knew the identity of the one following her. 

You try to turn your head towards the scene but with the way Xiao holds you, it’s impossible to fully capture what’s going on—and more importantly—who the person might be. You rely on your hearing to fill in the blank spaces. 

As you focus, you hear footsteps rapidly approaching. “Wait. Why would anyone,–” You struggle in Xiao’s protective hold, still trying to turn your head, and unlike what you’re willing to do, Xiao spends no time waiting to see who comes around the corner. 

Your vision darkens. It’s pitch black for a moment, and then a sharp light blinds you. You instinctively grip Xiao's arm for support, and in return, he holds you closer to his body. 

Teleporting three times ever since arriving in Teyvat, you’ve grown accustomed to the feeling. Still, it takes you a second before your surroundings stop spinning.

“Xiao, you need to go back.” With a sense of urgency and desperation you look around, noting both the absence of Lumine and Paimon through your spinning vision. Alarm seeps through your words, “You need to bring me back.”  

The Yaksha gapes and then closes his mouth. He’s holding out his arms as if he’s waiting for you to fall forward, or to comfort you, you’re not certain. Either way, he’s not helping you in this situation—he is not helping Lumine or Paimon.

“Please, Xiao. If the Fatui were following us it’d be my fault.”

A mocking laugh echoes through the room. “I highly doubt that.” The feminine voice sneers and you feel the room grow colder. As the woman continues to talk, you hear her smile through her voice. She continues to mock you. “Why, our Creator? Because it was I who ordered them to stop chasing your little friends. On behalf of the Tsaritsa, of course.”

You turn away from Xiao and towards the platinum-blonde woman standing next to Zhongli. Behind her, you see two people in what you recognize as fatui clothing. You take a moment to look her up and down. Her stance radiates confidence to a degree where it borders arrogance instead of intimidation. Her blond hair falls over her right shoulder and a black mask covers the same half of her face. When your eyes move to inspect her clothing, you first notice the elegant dress that morphs from a white color to a mix of pale brown and greyish color. It hugs her figure and it stands in contrast with the crimson-red colors of her sleeves, and what you assume to be, the cape that hangs over her shoulders.

It is only after you’re done with looking her over that you realize the cloak had fallen from your head and thus had revealed your own face. Light grey eyes are busy inspecting you in the same way you inspected her, though she seems to be far quicker with making her judgment. In one quick swoop, she eyes your character before her eyes remain stuck on your torso.

“So that’s where the gnosis went.” The woman chuckles once more and you intuitively hold the small object closer to your figure, desperately trying to shield it away. 

“Relax, Creator .” She calls out your title in a mocking way, “The Tsaritsa already called everyone back. I no longer have use for it.”

“Who are you?” You spat out in response to her sardonic jab.

Her face changes at your question, and her expression is unlike anything you’ve seen from her in the past minute. Your words had genuinely amused her.  

“Never heard of the Fatui Harbingers before? I must admit, I’m a bit embarrassed.” Her confidence replaces any kindness or pity you might’ve seen in that short moment of genuinity, and you frown in response.

Xiao shifts behind you and it’s a hard reminder that you weren’t alone in the room. Your eyes glance over from the woman to Zhongli, who lightly tilts his head in response to your recognition. 

“La Signora,“ He lifts a hand and gestures it towards the woman next to him. “Is the Eight of The Eleven Fatui Harbingers. They are acquainted with the Tsaritsa, or as you know her, the cryo Archon.“

Your mind gets stuck in a moment of stupid clarity.

Right. I am the Creator. I should know the Archons. 

And despite your better judgment, you ask the Harbinger;

“The cryo Archon, no–, the Tsaritsa. Do you… does she know about my memories? Are you here to help?“

The eyes of La Signora widen and you realise you startled her with your question. Of all things, she had not expected this. That much was obvious to anyone in the room. 

Like La Signora, the two Fatui guards behind her stiffen up. They share a glance of confusion as they remain on one knee behind the Harbinger. 

“Your… memories?” The blonde woman in front of you squints her eyes. Her voice is uncertain and she seems to test the words in her mouth. 

While her smile remains, you can sense the mask behind her faux confidence as she ponders over your question about your lost memories. 

You’re glad to know neither Zhongli nor Xiao had mentioned your memory problems to her. At least they give you control over who to share it with and who not, though, that raises the question of why she was here originally.

You turn your head to Zhongli. You feel like a fish out of the water so you instinctively try to chase comfort in his presence. “We were searching for you. Well, technically we were searching for the Qixing to contact you– what I’m trying to say is .” You take an inhale so the following words don’t come out in the wrong way. “I wanted to talk to you about, well, everything.”

Zhongli nods urging you silently to continue without a care for the others in the room.

“I’ve been trying to get my memories from the gnosis but after spending literal days staring at it in frustration, I feel like it’s only getting worse.” I feel as if I’m losing my mind.

You clutch the gnosis a bit tighter in your hand. Soft vibrations echo through your body and it steadies you. 

You speak with more confidence, “I want to know why I’m here. I want to know who I am.”

Zhongli takes a calculated breath, “I’d prefer it if we were to discuss this in a more private setting, your Grace. That is if you don’t mind.”

You shake your head. “Not at all. I probably shouldn’t’ve assumed the Harbingers or the Tsaritsa to know.”

With Zhongli’s request for privacy, you wonder if the woman had been better off not knowing about your situation. In the corner of your eyes, you can see thoughts race behind her cold eyes. Either way, word is bound to reach the Tsaritsa sooner or later. Your memories won’t become better without a solution, so you’re not bothered by this revelation. If anything, it might prompt the cryo Archon to answer your questions and recover your memory if possible. 

“La Signora.” Zhongli addresses the woman with an intimidating undertone. She snaps out of her thoughts and her confidence returns in the blink of an eye.

She snaps her fingers and the two fatui members stand up straight behind her. 

“It seems like our mission is finished here.” She doesn’t seem to address anyone in particular but the Fatui members respond with a simple, ‘Yes, lord Harbinger’.

“Creator–” She calls out your title with less mockery than before, “it was a pleasure to meet you.” 

You mirror her words, realizing that it was the first time she had truthfully told you what had been on her mind. Whether for good or bad, she would not forget this interaction anytime soon.

And so, La Signora makes her exit. She doesn’t waste time with any more pleasantries and disappears almost as fast as you had appeared. When the doors close behind her, the tense atmosphere dissipates as well.

With the stressful situation out of the way, your mind instinctively moves to observe the unfamiliar room you had been teleported into. 

Your gaze glides across the room. You are greeted by a warm and strangely familiar atmosphere. The room has the same style as the one in the inn, but it radiates more luxury and wealth, almost to an exaggerated point. 

The deep orange hues from the lights above dominate the room, casting a soft golden glow on everything it touches and complimenting the golden lining in the wooden cabinets, desks, and chairs. Aside from the obvious golden details nearly everywhere in the room, the other furniture exudes an air of luxury and sophistication, not unexpected—considering Zhongli seems to be using it as his office right now. 

Everything seems to be carefully placed with a purpose. 

Wooden screens divide the room, hiding you from the maids and workers walking around and giving you some privacy with the Archon and yaksha. And as you move your head around further, your eyes fall onto the silk tapestries that are suspended from the ceiling. They depict important historical figures and events in Liyue. When you look closer, you see a figure that seems to represent you. 

Zhongli walks up to you. 

He smiles as he follows your line of sight. "I admit that Miss Ningguang has exquisite taste when it comes to decorating. The line between modern and antique furniture overlaps in a tasteful way, and yet nothing seems to be out of place."

"Wait, is that you, Xiao?" You point to a specific silk tapestry in the room. 

Xiao follows your pointed finger. The picture depicts you and Xiao, along with four other people you fail to recognize. It takes him a second to reply, "Yes."

"Do you recall any of these moments?" Zhongli, who remains at your side, asks you with care.

“I recognize myself. It’s difficult not to. Aside from the clothes, it’s exactly how I appear right now. I also recognize you and Xiao, but the other people in the pictures aren’t familiar.” 

Zhongli's expression remains neutral, as if he anticipated your answer. ''It's no surprise that you recognize yourself. Every single one of these tapestries depicts significant events throughout the history of Liyue, in which you played a major part.''

You hesitate, “In a way, they feel familiar, but I’m unable to remember what happened or who the other people are. All I know for certain is that these events happened, even if it’s merely a feeling.’’

“In that case, Would you like to sit down?” Zhongli places a hand on the small of your back. “If you have time I’ll be able to tell the stories behind each tapestry.” 

You reply, “I would like to, but I can’t stay here. Not while I know that Lumine and Paimon are both looking for me. I hope nothing bad happened after I left.” You look at Xiao. “I am confused though.”

Xiao hesitantly speaks out, “Your Grace?”

You continue; “You said it was the Fatui who were following us? Does that mean that the woman— La Signora —was lying?”

Zhongli lets out a deep chuckle. “I apologize, your Grace. It appears the situation might’ve grown a bit confusing as a result of my actions.”  

You look up at him, waiting for him to explain.

“In the past, I was approached by La Signora to make a deal with the Tsaritsa. My final contract. However given the unexpected change in our situation, the contract was deemed void. Upon further instructions from the Tsaritsa, La Signora was ordered to cease operation within Liyue and return to Snezhnaya with the other Harbinger who is also staying in Liyue.” 

Zhongli glances over to Xiao as he speaks, “I assume it was the Eleventh who acted independently and continued to follow the traveller despite his new orders?”

The yaksha nods, confirming Zhongli’s words. 

“But isn’t that a dangerous situation for Lumine and Paimon?” You ask.

“I assume by now that the Harbinger will have put all the given information together and realized why the mission was canceled and he was recalled. Confronting the traveller was the final push he needed to realize the truth.”

ㅤ

You lift an eyebrow, unsure why he held you in suspense. “The truth being…?”

ㅤ

“A bigger purpose, you, the Creator. ’’

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