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Errors, "Errors," and Sci Fi: The Nail Gun Gray Zone
I have more thoughts on errors in sci fi, specifically what does and does not count as an error. So I made a graph.
I'm a firm believer that at some point, your story will just be better if you bend certain rules of reality. A story with 100% realistic gun battles will be impossible for audiences to follow. One with ultra-realistic dialog will be boring and impossible to follow.
HOWEVER. Ice floats in water. Residents of now-Phoenix in the 1700s might've not known that, but it's hard to imagine anyone alive today who hasn't at minimum seen an image of a drink with ice in it. So GI Joe (2009) hinging a major plot point on a block of ice sinking in liquid water is widely regarded as silly and world-breaking. Same goes for The Strangers (2008) making a character unable to use her phone while it's plugged in and charging. Even in 2008, a solid majority of U.S. moviegoers owned cell phones and regularly used them as they were plugged in. Errors. Firmly.
But on the opposite end of the spectrum, you have "errors" that only bug a small subset of your audience with relevant expertise. You can always count on some of that subset to take to Reddit and whine pedantically about a 10-round gun firing 11 rounds, but I doubt those count as errors. My personal example is the lack of a character named Surprise in Inside Out — I've studied and taught Paul Ekman's theories, so to me the fact that they included only 5 of his 6 "universal" affects is always going to look weird. But I know that's less an error than a pet peeve, because there wouldn't be much for the character Surprise to do that isn't taken up by Fear or Joy. (The sequel also has a Surprise-ish and a Contempt-ish character, so there's that.) Same goes for the water main not being pressurized correctly in Batman Begins — I'll take city planners' word for it that Scarecrow's plan wouldn't work, but COME ON. It's a sci fi movie about a furry who makes a living punching aliens. If you want realism, watch a documentary.
That said. There's also that middle zone. What I call the Nail Gun Gray Zone, because it really is hard to tell how much some errors are obscure and piddly, how much they're mainstream and obvious. Because. Nail guns can't shoot nails. They're not projectile weapons. Not unless the story takes the time to show a character modifying the tool to override the fact that it has to be pressed flush against a board before it will fire. BUT. If you told me "99% of modern Americans know that!" I'd believe you. If you told me "only professional contractors know that!" I'd believe you. That poll clarified basically nothing — roughly 25% of respondents had used a nail gun, ~25% didn't know much about them, and ~50% had only seen one used. (I didn't ask "do you know that a nail gun can't be used as a projectile weapon" because then anyone who read the question should by definition answer "yes.")
Anyway, I think that a lot of online arguments about errors/"errors" in sci fi can be captured by the Nail Gun Gray Zone. Most of us can agree that only pedantic blowhards would say that the lack of Surprise ruins Inside Out, and most of us can agree that it'd be nice if The Strangers had simply broken Kristen's phone. Nail guns? One person's "oh come on, that looks ridiculous!" is another person's "it's called a nail gun, right? so why not use it like a gun?" and I don't think doing more polls will resolve it one way or another.
#errors#movie mistakes#science fiction#sci fi#movie errors#nail gun gray zone#sci fi errors#inside out#batman begins#final destination 3#gi joe#the strangers#my heart is a chainsaw#don't get me wrong - i mostly enjoyed my heart is a chainsaw#but the hard left turn into BOTH silly camp and horrific realism AT ONCE near the end was a big turn-off for me#the nail gun was just an obvious example of that tonal issue#nothing to do with animorphs#yet#i'm bringing it back around soon i promise
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kendall embracing roman while pushing his cuts against his shoulder to split them open, offering him both comfort and punishment (and for roman they’re the same thing), roman hating ken and being comforted by it at the same time, kendall knowing it’s what roman ‘needs’ and also using it as a means to put roman in his place, making him subservient and small, roman letting out that groan of relief because he can’t deal with internal pain and emotions so he needs it to be translated into physical pain instead. sick
#ok last post i have to sleep . im going to cry about this scene <3#being a roman girl is just like being shot with many nail guns#succession#succession spoilers#ugh vomit inducing#it’s what roman knows.. what he’s comfortable with because he’s always been taught it is what he deserves#from the dog cage to logan hitting him for ordering the wrong meal to logan backhanding him and knocking a tooth out to gerri#ugh roman. i want to put him in a safe warm room forever and ever
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I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?
VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery
ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny
but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out
in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it
besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!
tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood
when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)
actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#tw guns#<- for that glock in the corner . sorry#actually it looks like he's at gunpoint in that one and just going teehee about it#he looooooves tormenting tome .and tome loves tormenting him. it's their favorite pastimes#i don't rly like the second one too much tbh the sleeves are weird but i think that's just the Nature of how poofy they can get#oh this is a great time to talk abt their dynamic. sorry.this ask isn't abt that.but now it is#so i realize that tome and ritsu ??? don't rly interact in canon at all. and neither do tome and teru . as a matter of fact#but consider. uhm.what ifthey did <3 GVYIEAV#like i said they're all So incredibly normal it'll make for a great time#^ genuinely i do think so actually. most of the time anyway#i touched on it a lil bit in recondite but i rly like the idea of mob ritsu tome and teru all being a friend group#teru would undoubtedly piss tome off sometimes she'd call him out on his bullshit#but like.in terms of the canon timeline i think post-mob teru would Totally listen to her#and take what she says abt How he is into consideration. he's trying to rebuild himself into somebody better#teru and ritsu already have a dynamic in canon but it feels pretty loose and it isn't fully explored at all#i think they work together rly well tho. there's no real evidence to the contrary iirc i think they work together in canon quite well#they think alike in terms of fighting#and in a setting like this‚ once teru is on the same page as ritsu on zombies‚ they're prolly a pretty damn good team#there's a lot of room for things to go wrong tho#if i had to sum it up rly succinctly it'd be: ritsu's motive is fear‚ tome's motive is curiosity‚ and teru's motive is power#what i mean by teru's being power is Not the pre-mob teru ''wanting'' to be powerful and unstoppable#i mean teru wants to have power over everything that is trying to hurt them#he doesn't Want to cower he wants to Fight tooth and nail#and i think ritsu's fear versus tome's curiosity and teru's drive of power conflicts a lot#ritsu is passive in the sense that he'll do anything in his power to avoid altercations with anything to order to keep mob safe#he isn't Active until something goes Wrong. and usually things go Wrong when teru and tome rush ahead#WOW sorry i went on a rant that was Completely unrelated to the fucking question. im at the 30 tag limit bye
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#gothic#goth#goth aesthetic#erin#final destination 3#horror movies#2000s horror#gore#nail gun#horror
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What if Hella had crocs and a gun
Now we're talking!
Finally, after all these years, Bill Cipher Hella has a gun! (/ref) [Without apron under the cut]
#spideygal <3#dusty.art#ask#thanks for the ask!#this took me embarassingly long to answer because i kept noticing mistakes in the drawing#but i'm pretty proud of myself!#cw nudity#cw gun#hella master and margarita#the master and margarita#master and margarita#гелла#мастер и маргарита#description in alt text#ibis paint x#behemoth sees her with a gun and is like 'WHO GAVE HELLA A GUN'#and azazello looks at him like 'is this a trick question or..?' /ref to that one calvin and hobbes comic where calvin#put nails into the table#btw. yes. azazello also did her nails-#i didn't feel like rendering it. maybe one day!#but even so i did a great job
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tumblr mutuals I am cooking up the most most dastardly and deranged reader x william afton ever based on bunnie's william and none of you will survive it also only u guys are allowed to read it no one else its just for me and you gang <3
#it involves the nail gun the nail gun WILL be happening i can't get it out of my head thanks <3#**explodes**#naw I don't mind if anyone else reads it but fr it's meant for our taste only#ppl outside of that well tough luck for them
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got high and watched a bunch of ateez dance practices. feeling delusional about yunho rn
#k speaks#he’s so. tall#and i’ve never really biased a main dancer before so this is fun#like hiiiiiiiii deja vu yunho hiiiiiiiiiiiii#wow i’m high#anyways#i think i might be done in. after a month of trying to figure out who it’s gonna be he came out of left field with no warning#from being the last member whose name i learned#to coming from not ranking in top 3 bias thoughts to just sweeping everyone out of the water#this makes no sense#always (redux)#thank you to that photo of him at coachella finger guns with the metal nails/finger gauntlets#yeah#congrats yunho you’ve been promoted#and also why i’ll probably start indiv ateez tags soon#so to start#jyh#ateez
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oh yeah okay that hospital visit was traumatic for sure. okay yeah
#marzi speaks#got caught in a youtube shorts rabbithole (one of my vices </3)#and they like giving me snippets from medical dramas#and i saw one where a man accidentally shot himself in the heart with a nail gun#and he didn’t say ‘i love you’ back to his daughter before getting in the ambulance#and then he started coding and they had to do chest compressions or whatever#and normally i can handle medical dramas no problem. they don’t bug me#but smth about that (the brush with mortality and the idea of having final regrets like that)#just COMPLETELY tripped my brain up. and i had to take a second to calm myself down#i don’t like having triggers. i don’t like that i won’t be able to predict them yet#i’m for sure starting therapy again when i head back to college. i’m gonna Need It#i’m still a little frazzled. it was. i’m. i need to go to sleep
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so. in order to progress ur relationship with Akechi. he actually takes u down to mementos, alone, and challenges u to beat the shit out of him with Lethal Intent. which is very likely mutual. ohh this kid is on a whole other level huh
#like. excuse me??????#WIAT THIS IS SO. LMAO I HAVE A PERSONA THAT FUCKS OVER EVERYTHING HE USES THIS IS SO SAD#sorry buddy#like. i cannot express enough that he literally cant damage me with anything except his almighty attack#and his gun if he can use that here . unsure. he didnt try#'if you werent useful to me right now id kill you on the spot <3' ok u tell urself that but i just kicked ur ass to the depths of mementos#these two are so. so. there are so many fucking things wrong with u. hoooooly shit#'if we had fought to the end do you see yourself winning' U COULDNT EVEN HIT ME#'i hate you' i would too if that happened to me dw#im joking but this is like. the most mentally ill conversation. in the worst/best way. losing my mind rn#go off robbie daymond.. he fuckin nailed Akechis dialogue here. and like the whole game but definitely here#ah. the glove :)#ive already said this but every time he says something i need to reiterate. there is so much wrong with this kid#p5
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I'm so sorry I'm dumb but what's TPOF and BTD2??
TPOF is the Price of Flesh and BTD2 is Boyfriend to Death 2, both are murdersim games. Lots of bad ends and horrible things.
#also my fav from btd2 is ren#which is just funny to me#because derek is my tpof fav#stupid asshole that is#but ren!! oh ren#cinnamon roll with a nail gun <3
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=w=b
#finally finished the thingy ive been wanting to make for a bitt#you know those little diamond thingies that. om!raphael and the twst!skelly guy have in their hair?? yeahhh i made them YIPPEEE#theyre just black plastic hot glued onto a hairclip =w=b very easy#ive been putting it off bc i didnt want to butt skelly guy made me think of them again and then i realized we have black spray paint!!!#which is a big deal bc my first option was nail polish which. is defo hard and the reason ive been procrastinating#but then i knew that it didnt have to be hard :3 yippeee#and now theyre done! a bit fucked up bc hot glue gun hot plastic melt yaknow. but its fineee#yayyy#sillyposting#no photo bc. theres not really anything to show off its really basic + its better in imagination than real life =w=b#just imagine it as the most perfect thing ever =w=bbbbb
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Batfam! P Links
This is my first time doing something like this, so feedback is super appreciated. Also!! Gotta be logged into twitter (X) for these to work.
Bruce Wayne
- He just can't resist you when you come to visit the office<3
- The bathroom of a charity gala that neither of you were particularly interested in
- What you send him after he paid to get your nails done while he was away on a business trip
-A private beach that he bought out when he finally retired
- You're still getting used to how big he is
- He tries to be gentle, but his cock is just so huge that it's a pleasant, painful every time regardless of how much he preps you
- How's he supposed to focus at work when you send him those slutty little pictures in your new lingerie?
Jason Todd
- Something about this just screams Jason vibes to me. Maybe softdom? Maybe showing off his strength/muscles?
- LOVES when you guys get noise complaints just from the actions alone, nevermind the moans
- He sent this just to mess around with you while he was in the gym changing rooms
- Yes, you two have tried this. Yes, the gun was unloaded. Yes, he still made sure it has safety on. Yes, you clogged up his favorite pistol with your cum.
- This is kinda how I thought of Virgin! Jason Todd eating you out
- More gun play with Jason but in his only nice car
Richard Grayson
- Helping him clean off in the shower after a particularly long patrol
- A little tease while he's in a motel on a mission
- He absolutely worships you like the goddess you are
- Your poor baby makes a mess of himself after not being able to cum for a few weeks while on a mission
- Making you do everything yourself because you got bratty with him about having to cockwarm
- Trying his best to take it slow once he finally gets his hands on you coming home from that stupid mission
-----------------------------
Masterlist
#batfam#batfamily#batman#dc#redhood#jason todd x reader#jasontodd#arkham knight#arkham knight x reader#bruce wayne x reader#richard grayson x reader#richard grayson#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#nightwing smut#nightwing#richard grayson smut#dick grayson smut#p links
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OH FUCK YALL THOUGHT I WAS *ARMED GUARD*????
BRUHHHHHHHH
I'm the lowest level licensed security you can hire
I work foot patrol for shit like wet cement, construction sites, malls, libraries, outreach centers, and local events
My job is, essentially, human scarecrow
I am not permitted to carry a gun.
I am not permitted to carry a taser.
I am not permitted to carry pepper spray.
I am not permitted to carry a baton
I am not permitted to carry a knife or any multitool containing a knife
I don't have a plate vest
I'm not permitted to make any physical contact outside of administering first aid or in self defense, which must be made in minimal force required to ensure personal safety
I escort employees to make bank deposits, ask aggressive or violent people to leave, and take notes on safety hazards in patrolled areas
If someone bleeds, throws up, or takes a dump somewhere they shouldn't, it's between me and the custodian to make sure nobody slips in it bay bee
It is none of my business if someone is doing drugs. If they aren't an active danger to themselves or others then they're golden
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
If you're selling drugs in clear view I will ask that you please do that elsewhere, ideally with more discretion. End of interaction
If you are using drugs in clear view I will tell you *exactly* where the property ends so you can smoke your bong 3 feet outside of that line where I can't do shit if someone complains. End of interaction
Site Security is not police. It is not LPO. Someone could point you out as you run off the site and say "I saw him shove a microwave down his pants and walk out" and it would be approximately none of my business.
THINGS THAT ARE MY BUSINESS
Overdose in the bathroom. I will verbally check twice that you are conscious, and if I get no response I will warn that I am coming in to check on you. If I find you on the ground I will again try to speak to you, warn that I am touching your shoulder, and give you a jiggle. If I can't wake you up I roll you into recovery and wait for paramedics.
Threatening or harassing staff. You cannot make passes at the highschooler operating the pretzel stand. You cannot tell the bank teller you'll "track him down eventually". The lady at the nail salon said she didn't want to marry you six times now and now I'm your problem
Abuse, endangerment, or neglect. If you leave your baby on the sidewalk so you can shop by yourself then I will be the jerk who ruins your day. If you hit your kid I will become very much your problem. If you locked your dog in the car with the windows rolled up six hours ago and it isn't getting up when I tap the window I'm gonna be the biggest pain in the ass you'll see all day
Safety hazards. Don't shoot off a bottle rocket in the parking lot. Yes it's very cool and you probably won't hit anything important but there's a pretty big empty lot like six blocks away man, what if you nail a kid or something. If you wanna take your bearded dragon to the food court, keep him in your coat or in a carrier. Climb the telephone pole on Tuesday because thats my day off
Client complaints/concerns. Boss says you've been here living in your car for three days and it's time to move on. You and I know it's been a month but between us if you switch locations every couple days around the lot she won't catch you again till at least May. As long as you don't leave a bunch of trash laying out we're good.
END NOTES
If you have tattoos on your face, throat, or hands and you wanna pull something you gotta be so incredibly discrete, is so incredibly easy for Law Enforcement to track you down you have no idea. I know like 3 guys with face tattoos in town, one of them's been my buddy since highschool and the other 2 were introduced to me like "watch out for a guy with a star on his cheek, his name is Patrick Sturblish, he's 43 years old and I saw him pocket a redbull once".
Always assume someone is operating the cameras live.
The courts are so insanely overwhelmed all the time, if you nab something small and vital like bandages, tampons, underwear, whatever and don't have a long list of priors usually even a cop won't bother trying to charge you. If I can't tell you not to steal for the consequences then at least don't get cocky about it
In my own experience if you walk into a big store and straight up tell someone "I don't want to steal but I need this very badly" then usually someone will find a way to get it to you
If someone tells me you're stealing on camera I will let you know that someone caught you and it's your last chance to put stuff back before they do something
If you pull a weapon on me or someone else while I'm working then I'm required to inform police so please don't do that thank you
#I wanna be a PI someday but here I be for now#There are a few PIs that check in on child welfare and I like the idea of that#Like scoping out foster homes#Supervising parental visits#I might like that#Teablart
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When you run out of his work summit on the brink of tears, you can't believe that Leon hasn't picked up on how he hurt you. His only option is to apologize, but you're not listening to a word he says. So he'll just have to make you watch.
mdni i'm so serious. married f / m smut where porn is the plot THERE'S LORE I SWEAR, sour then sweet dom leon, mirror sex, EMOTIONS, aftercare :3 + 1 bad pun
a/n: anon req'd reader w/ praise kink. i really thought i did something and then i read it and i wanted to die. it isn't my writing if i don't try turning smut into shitty poetry.
word count: 2.9k // read on ao3
“I’m apologizing now, aren’t I?”
“A little late for that, Agent Kennedy,” you seethe.
Your metronome heels keep time with the irate pounding of your heartbeat. This California Ritz-Carlton hallway stretches like the goddamn Shining and you can’t seem to get away fast enough from your husband. He’s too damn good at his job, and you’re too smart to pretend that this dance the two of you are playing at is anything but a distraction, an impediment.
You are a distraction. You’ve been an unwelcome one all night.
So you’d cut it short yourself.
One keycard slice through the sensor and the sanctuary of your hotel room opens up to you, messy with the aftermath of black-tie preparation. You step up to the vanity; plant your palms on its wooden surface and stare straight ahead as if to admire your ruined mascara. It’s a formality, really. It’s not as if you need the mirror to remind you what happened in this room. Tonight began with indulgent kisses afraid to smudge dress shirt collars, hands squeezed for courage, Leon in perpetual pursuit of the train of your gown. Big dreams.
“You wanna talk? We can talk.” Leon shuts the door with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t make this difficult, sweetheart.”
“I didn’t do a damn thing,” you hiss. You stare daggers at his reflection.
“Really?” His shoulders drop. “Then what was all that with the storming off, the- oh baby, don’t look at me like that.”
Leon’s arms wrap around your middle while his nose buries itself in your diamond-laced neck. He’s good at that, that sneaking thing without leaving so much as a whisper to signal where he’s going. The higher-ups at the DSO call it stealth. You just want the man you married to tell you what the hell he’s doing before he makes a fool out of you.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I swear,” he whispers, kissing softly down your neck. “Didn’t mean it at all, I’m sorry. What’d I do?”
You scoff.
He’s testing the waters. A rough thumb finds and starts running down the divot of your spine, thank you backless Mirror Palais ballgown. Pass the smoking gun back and forth, pretend not to see the shrapnel from the bullet holes. You don’t pay Leon any heed as you stoically unhook diamond pendants from your ears, and he frowns.
“I said I was sorry.”
“I shouldn’t need to tell you what you did, Leon.”
Shame simmers sickly and strong in the pit of your stomach. You teeter on the edge of snapping altogether and consider throwing his blankets on the floor for the night – you will, actually, as soon you take off all your evening regalia. In your haste, your nails end up nicking Leon’s nose when he tries to murmur another weightless apology.
The kisses stop leaching onto your collarbone. “Don’t play this game with me, sweetheart.”
“So now you’re calling me immature?”
“Isn’t that what you call running out of my work summit? Making me chase you down?” Leon counters, running his hands down your sides in a last-ditch effort to diffuse the situation. Thinly-veiled irritation finally seeps into his tone. “What exactly did I do?”
And gosh, does that get the tears going. He’s so blind it hurts.
You tug pins furiously out of your hair in an effort to keep an impending outburst at bay. “You practically had me on a leash!”
Not once had he let you out of his sight in that dreadful ballroom. In front of all those international representatives and agents, people whose reputations preceded them, Leon had kept you attached to him with a heavy hand on your waist, glued to his hip like an untrustworthy child he’d lose track of at a supermarket. Coughs had quickly turned to snickers behind your back. You’re no agent, sure, but you could expect to have some kind of autonomy, right?
The guest badge you’d flung over the hotel room bed glints tauntingly now, respected by every security detail except the one whose chest your back is currently pressed against. It’s humiliating how untrustworthy, how incapable he made you look tonight.
Leon blinks. “You’re saying I think you can’t handle yourself?”
“You don’t have to. You showed me all night.”
Tears drip down your cheeks when he relents, his arms lifting like fog over the Golden Gate, and if you’re finally free from his clutches, you might as well take off this suffocating dress. It’s gauzy and gorgeous and completely worthless despite the stack of bills Leon paid for it, however giddy you’d been when he’d brought it home.
If only you could reach the tiny zipper perched on your tailbone.
Leon, ever the perceptive one, however, never passes up an opening whether it be zipped or not. He’s got a handy index and thumb; he puts them to use. He’s your husband after all.
“Right, okay,” he exhales sharply, tugging the chain as your back bows forward, “I did this all wrong. I thought you’d catch on when I should’ve just shown you instead.”
“Show me what?”
A hand inside your newly agape gown. A palm pivoting south to the curve of your hip, pressing, searching. Leon presses his lips to your neck in answer, but this time, it’s urgent in a way that doesn’t quite feel like remorse. He hisses.
“Tell me to stop and I fucking will, but this is my last resort considering how bad I seem to be with my words, sweetheart. How many times have I told you I’m sorry?”
“You-”
A squeeze on your hip. A direction.
“I need a number.”
The door, your neck, seconds ago.
“...three.”
“And not one of them made it inside that pretty head of yours,” Leon scowls. “Doesn’t look like words are either of our strong suits. Chin up for me, doll, and pay attention ‘cause I’m only asking this once.”
So you do, you lift your face to meet mascara-rimmed eyes in the mirror along with Leon’s sapphire-blue ones that glint right behind, and his palm drifts up to cup your jaw from underneath. He tilts it back and forth. Kisses his teeth.
“Tell me. How am I supposed to let my wife loose in a room full of criminals just like that?”
What?
Leon circles your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb, pulling away quickly. Too early to indulge in this kind of affection. “Thought I asked you something, doll.”
But you hesitate, and so Leon must disappear. His final instructions are to face forward.
He dives to the floor, locking rough fingers around your ankles only to slide them up to the backs of your shins. He goes under so quick that there’s a breeze; you’re granted mere seconds to watch Leon’s blond head duck underneath the floor-length train of your dress and by then, it’s far too late to notice the fire.
Leon loves starting those.
He also doesn’t wait. Invisible flames lick up your bare legs from Leon’s dragon mouth. Red hot kisses trail up your thighs – he drops a sweet one on the inside of your right knee, makes you buckle momentarily – and these stubbled kisses of his have a tendency to sear any skin on their skyward path. You can’t remember when your elbows propped themselves on the vanity, out of instinct, maybe, to keep the floor of your stomach from falling out at the very first sneak of Leon’s tongue inside the drenched lace gusset of your panties.
But you can’t afford to be surprised, can you? Not with the line of destruction he’s left behind on his way to his destination. They say it takes one to know one.
You clutch the edge of the vanity’s shelf, suck down sobs in your throat fluttering into something indecent.
“I need you to talk to me,” he whispers with his lips pressed to your pussy. The vibration echoes up your spine, jerks your head back. “You’re all clammed up. Keeping secrets.”
Air gushes down your throat. “And you’re not?”
“Of course I am, baby, but I’m explaining, aren’t I?”
Kiss. Kiss. Suck.
You keen with your mouth shut.
He noses at your clit, prompting you. “So, where’s your explanation?”
Another quality the DSO prides itself on is your husband’s ability to sweet-talk himself out of a tight spot. That seems to includes in between your legs. Your thighs clench together in a final attempt of defiance when his mouth makes contact with your cunt. Your reflection in the mirror starts to swim at the first swirl of Leon’s tongue, and he makes quick work of you with his goal being none other than to dangle the promise of more to come, literally.
Thumbs tuck into sensitive folds, and you’re gone. Shaking at the first breach of Leon’s fingers inside you. You spread apart at his will. He dips into arousal now impossible to ignore, and when sparks finally light at the hot air Leon blows over your spasming pussy, he commits his second unforgivable sin of the night: ducking right back out at the crest of your orgasm.
You have principles. The mirror reflects Leon’s swollen lips, tousled hair damp with you when he rises from his knees, and above all this, you clench your teeth. Face forward.
He wipes his mouth.
“That’s one.”
The other two remain rhetorical.
You’re being lifted bridal-style when the seal on your mouth finally breaks. “Leon,” you tremble in his arms, “where are we?” The summit, the people; you chase his mouth for any explanation. “You’re working with criminals now?”
“Yes and no. Arms up,” Leon rasps, and tugs down what remains of your gown, crashes his mouth onto yours.
You taste yourself in his kiss. Surely that’s not an answer, is it?
“Tonight was a mission,” he continues in his feverish haste, quickly laying your naked body onto the bed before kissing down your breasts.
Pride gets tossed on the floor next to your undergarments, his crumpled dress shirt.
“The DSO couldn’t guarantee you wouldn’t become collateral for this assignment if things went south and I didn’t want to risk it. So I took you with me.”
“You brought me to a- oh! ”
Two thick fingers push into your sopping cunt. You squeal, clutch the sheets. Leon presses the ribbed flesh nestled deep inside you, carving out room for himself from his kneel at the foot of the bed. He gouges deep and you writhe. Your arousal shimmers on his fingers when he finally pulls them out and you find that have nothing to say about that.
“Go on,” he coos lowly. “Don’t get quiet now.”
Your head whirls. “You sh-should’ve told me they were dangerous.”
“And where do you think that would’ve gotten us, sweetheart? I didn’t want you panicking. Blowing cover. I had you to take care of and intel to gather, I couldn’t think straight myself. Letting you out of my sight could’ve meant losing you.”
Fuck. You don’t need a mirror to remember how antsy Leon had been before going down to the ballroom.
Hands squeezed for courage. Hand on your waist.
The vanilla and leather on his skin had reeked of nerves, and you? You’d written it off.
“I wanted to keep you safe.” Leon looks up at you now, eyes glinting in the dim light. There’s a new softness in their blue depths, a sincere apology. “I just wish you'd believe me.”
By all intents and purposes, Leon Scott Kennedy is sorry.
There’s been a lapse in judgment. Your elbows sit you up from the bed to fix it. Cupping his cheek, you lean forward to meet Leon’s waiting mouth in a long overdue embrace, one he can melt into with relief. There’s no bitterness on your tongue now. Just sweetness in the seconds you take to breathe your forgiveness into him. The clink of his falling belt promises no punishment.
“But you can’t let me off the hook just yet,” Leon murmurs when he tugs free from your latch on his bottom lip, “I hurt you, angel, and I never wanted to. Tell me I can fix it.”
He can. Your husband can fix everything, the world included. You sigh your approval, yes, yes, more, because forgiveness feels incredible as he lays your shoulders down, sets your hips straight when you twist them the first time he teases his cock’s weeping head over the soaked seam of your pussy.
“Don’t take your eyes off the mirror for a second,” Leon instructs.
He plants his palms on the sides of your head. You whimper; swear you won’t.
“I mean it. Watch yourself, and maybe then you’ll understand how crazy you drive me.”
So begins your descent.
You’re drowning, crying for air when Leon sinks into the liquid warmth you’ve saved for him. There’s so much of him to take, tight, tight, tight – your mind is a melting record. You’re breaking. Can’t disappoint him again. When your overwhelmed cunt nearly pushes him out, Leon just chuckles. He cants his hips to compensate, goes at it again. That should be enough to tell you how the DSO’s finest agent never lets a detail go amiss.
“The Belgium ambassador started tailing you by the fountain."
And to your astonishment, he starts rattling off half the world map.
“Got rid of him quick. Then there was a – oh, sweetheart, you’re gonna kill me – Swedish agent, don’t remember what I did to him.”
A roll of his hips. Your nails down his back.
“Someone from Germany tried to dose your champagne. Another from Argentina, shit,” his thrusts grow erratic the longer the list grows, “two from Russia, a Japanese spy – perfect fucking pussy, oh my God…”
Your husband takes you on a trip around the globe. He’d traveled to the ends of the earth in that ballroom, kept your back bulletproof with just his hand, the one that was once a collar to you. Turns out being a Kennedy puts you on a hitlist; makes your blood run blue.
“Too much!” you sob.
You can’t take the responsibility.
But here in the dark, here with Leon, there’s just pleasure. Opulence. The back of his head is a blond crown in the vanity mirror, the diamonds on your breasts sparkle with each bounce from Leon’s cock slamming home. Even the gooey mess you’re leaving on the chiseled marble of his lower stomach shimmers. War paint from a battle won for you.
Your head falls away from the mirror and Leon guides it back without losing his rhythm. “Mm-mm. You need to see your face when you break.”
Never has a threat sounded so loving on anyone’s lips, you imagine.
Your hands tangle into his hair, you grow quiet, you clench. You’re close. This, he can feel.
His lips curve into a weary grin. “Wanted you to see why I had eyes on my baby all night. My pretty girl, all mine.”
Lucky you.
That somehow does you in. Every word of praise Leon utters makes it clear that no, he did trust you, does trust you. He trusted you enough to know you could hold your own in that lion’s den downstairs, trusts now that you’ll forgive him for a misstep born of love. And with that realization, your pleasure rides helium high.
“Shit, Leon!” you cry.
Electric pressure builds in your sensitive bud, the one Leon rubs frantically now. Gasps from your wide open mouth sweeten the air like perfume and Leon wishes he could breathe it all in, you’re beautiful when he turns you into a wailing mess. All for him.
“This one’s two, angel,” he groans when you flutter around him. No way.
His cock had put you in a trance, so warm and filling is it inside you. You’d forgotten about the deal entirely.
Your cries increase precariously in pitch. “Oh, please, please, you can’t, Leon, I have to-”
“Hold on!”
Leon presses you into the sheets one last time to free the pretty songbird singing his name. You sprout wings in the looking glass.
The afterglow is golden. The sunset is long gone but it glows in your hotel room all the same, wrapped in silk sheets and Leon’s arms.
“You’re beautiful like this, you know?” he hums, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.
“What, all sweaty and gross?” You wouldn’t expect him to know. He’s gorgeous. Leon is gorgeous when he makes love to you.
He nods, laughing when you roll your eyes. “Really, you do. Enough that I had to spend half my mission clawing bad guys off you. But I got it finished, and so did you in the process, huh?”
Leon drops a kiss to your forehead, murmuring one last I’m sorry, his fourth one.
Shit.
You scramble to hide under the sheets, leaving him cocking his head after you in utter confusion. “Wait, wait, what’s the matter?”
“I can’t do any more, Leon, I’m gonna pass out.”
“Do any…?”
“You only left off on two!”
Leon snorts. You soon feel a warm press on the top of your head: a sugary, schoolboy-sweet kiss.
“There you go, baby. That’s three. Apology accepted?”
And when you poke your head out of the covers to give Leon a kiss of your own, you make sure he knows it’s for apology number four.
He shouldn’t be so surprised you noticed. It’s not like you can take your eyes off him either.
psst, find more of my work here!
comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!
#📮 delivery#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy smut#ao3 fanfic#leon kennedy fluff#leon kennedy angst#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy fanfiction#vaaaaaiolet#ns/ft#resident evil#death island leon#resident evil death island
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My buddies and I were talking about Barb getting Floyd to sing raunchy Nine Inch Nails songs and I had to make it happen </3 They're JUST lyrics BUT I wanted to be safe anyway so I censored them eee sorry guys cant be too careful on tumblr The songs in order are Closer, Big Man with a Gun, and The Collector!
#trolls#trolls band together#trolls world tour#floyd trolls#barb trolls#riff trolls#fliff trolls#fliff#my art#if you dm me i can give you the uncensored images#blame poppy for censoring it not me idk#i love you trent reznor and your homoerotic lyrics
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'Birdritch' part 3
Someday I might post this not at fuck all in the morning and proof read it first, but today is not that day! Masterpost Art
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“Pamela—”
“Don’t ‘Pamela’ me during a fight!”
“But that’s the thing!” Nightwing said, keeping his hands raised even as he motioned with them. “This isn’t a fight. I get that you were upset—”
“They were trying to bury a body in my park!” Pamela hissed.
“And we stopped them!”
“You know,” Red Hood started from where he was sitting on top of the bound criminals, “you could have just thought of it as free fertilizer.”
Nightwing gave up and buried his face n his gloved hands. “Hood, you’re not really helping.”
“’Course I’m helping.,” Hood said as he inspected his gloved fingers. “I’m keeping the baddies pinned. Red is the one who’s not helping.”
“I’m keeping a birds eye view on things,” Red said into the comms. Which really was a good thing, considering. Like, what? “Speaking of birds, there’s one the size of a large SUV headed this way. Or at least it mostly looks like a bird.”
“What do you mean it mostly looks like a bird?” Nightwing asked.
“Fuck that,” Hood cut in, “what do you mean the size of an SUV?”
Pamela crossed her arms, hip jutted out defiantly. “What it wasn’t me. I don’t deal with animals, you know that.”
“I mean it’s got two legs and a beak…ish thing? It looks like some sort of water bird. Which I guess could explain it? Like, we know Gotham Harbor has too many weird chemicals in it. Maybe someone emptied one too many things right on a totally normal bird and— oh, it’s glowing too.”
“Well great,” Hood managed right before, with a thundering step, the bird thing broke through the vines.
The tuft of green feathers on its chest seemed to almost glow from how bright the color was, but Red hadn’t been wrong. The bird thing really was glowing, a pale cyan color that seemed to shift and ripple and pull away from the white crest and mostly black body of the bird.
“See,” Red said, motioning from his perch on the lamppost, “an SUV sized bird like thing.”
The bird thing’s head tilted and Red and the very sudden, very certain sense that all of the creature’s focus was suddenly on him.
“Red,” Hood rumbled as he slowly pulled out out a gun, “I think you better stop moving.”
“You can’t shoot it,” Nightwing hissed.
“If it tries to eat Red, I sure as fuck am shooting it,” Red growled back.
“Or I could just entangle it with my vines,” Pamela said. She crossed her arms when they all turned to look at her and examined her nails. “What? I am not going just stand here and let a giant bird eat my favorite little birds.”
“Aw,” Nightwing cooed, you do care!”
Pamela rolled her eyes and flicked the hand she had been looking at. One of the massive vines broke free from the ground and whipped towards the bird thing at a speed that was almost hard to track.
And stopped.
Short.
Held in the clawed grasp of the creature. The long neck reared back and the bird thing opened its beak and squawked in offense.
“Uh, guys?” Red said, his voice quiet now.
“Yeah, I’m seeing it too,” Nightwing answered.
“Why the fuck does it have three legs?” Hood asked.
#dp x dc#this is so weird#I'm writing it and I think it's so weird#but it's making me happy#and I need any happy I can get atm#birdritch
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