#3 more days of eating different cereals i realized it was the milk

[wariomolly]

there is debate over whether it is possible to cure yourself of lactose intolerance by eating lactose every day. well i am a case study that says it is possible

[bluesest]

Hello. I had an idea for a while. A guy named Jorge with a plump bubble butt unknowingly ingested dairy when he's lactose intolerant and suffers nasty explosive diarrhea all day and shits himself at least three times in the same day.

A Lactose Distract

Jorge was a young sportsman and independent, he lives alone so he takes care of the household chores such as cleaning, cooking and shopping.

Every end of the month, Jorge goes to a supermarket where he is in charge of buying groceries from home, he made sure that they have enough protein to maintain and grow his muscle mass even more, he had barely been in a local gym for a month and his muscles were still not marked, He always thought the gym would be the same as sports, but he found it even harder to see results, aware that it only takes a short time for him to expect more from his body.

He concentrated on taking foods such as red meat and fish, great foods to support his development, or well, that's what his coach told him, another food was dairy that helped by providing calcium, however, he could not afford to eat this type of food because he was lactose intolerant.

Jorge struggled with this problem since he was a teenager, one of his habits was to eat ice cream every Sunday but little by little this generated problems: first gas that gained a terrible smell and that used to last a long time, then stomach pains such as colic and finally an incredible desire to evacuate his bowels, he remembered how one of those days when trying to fart he literally shit himself with thick and bad diarrhea This problem continued until his lactose intolerance was detected, and from that moment on, Jorge dedicated himself to taking care of his diet.

He used a dairy replacement, i.e., lactose-free products such as lactose-free milk, among others. Whenever he went shopping, he made sure to check his milk cartons and read his labels. 

This specific day he bought 3 cartons of lactose-free milk, next to him was an old woman who bought regular milk, she left her shopping cart next to Jorge's while he was distracted by seeing a sign with the week's offers, the old woman got confused about her cart and took Jorge's (both shopping carts only carried milk cartons).

Jorge turned to look at his new cart and confidently did not check its contents, ready to continue with the shopping day. An hour passed and he was already paying when the first warning flashed, the milk had an irregular price, that is, cheaper, but he did not give it importance and thought that it was just an offer that he did not realize existed.

He came home and restocked his fridge with all the food he bought, sat down to watch TV, and fell fast asleep.

After a three-hour nap Jorge got hungry, he took cereal with milk and helped himself to two dishes, they had a different flavor, a sweeter one, but again he didn't think about it, he thought: "Maybe now they put more sugar in this cereal"

An alarm distracted him from his thoughts, it was his digital hand watch, it only meant one thing: his daily jog to the park. He dressed in black leggings and a gray shirt, grabbed his phone and headphones, and jogged out of his house, but without first making himself a milkshake to drink in the park and relax.

He reached the halfway point when he stopped, ignored the music on his phone and closed his eyes: *GRRRRRRRRRRRRR* that was the sound that generated his stomach, it was so loud that Jorge managed to hear it even with his headphones on, took his arm and began to feel his stomach.

"Ufffffffffff, what was that? Am I hungrier? It's a good thing I save my milkshake for problems like these."

He took his thermos out of a small bag he was carrying and finished taking it all in one sip, his stomach stopped his annoying noises and Jorge decided to continue with his daily jog.

When he arrived at the park his stomach rumbled again, but this time a small pain invaded his body, he stopped and this time he turned off his headphones and put them away, put his hands on his hip and looked at the sky closing his eyes: "I don't think it's hunger... I've already eaten a lot in a very short time, but my stomach feels so bad..."

His back bent and he bent down keeping his hands on his hips and his eyes closed *GGGRRRRRR* "What's happening to me... I'm sweating a lot...?" he lifted his head *GRGRGGRGRGR* "I feel... Feel... something inside my stomach, could it be...?" he opened his eyes and relaxed his stomach... *pftftfftft* "uuggghhhh, I had a fart stuck *GRGRGGGRRRR* and I think I have another one... *PPFFTTFTFpfptptf* this one was even worse, ufffffff yes it sucks *GRGRGRGGRRGR* Oh no, here comes a big one"

*PFPPPTFPTPPTPTFTPF* *PRPRRPPSPSS* *PFFFTT*

Time froze, Jorge opened his eyes as wide as he could and led his left arm to his stomach and his right to his bubble butt, it was real, the unthinkable happened, an adult shit his pants:

"Oh no no no no, how could this happen? What should I do? I didn't even feel like going to the bathroom!"

*GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

"But now I can feel it."

He repositioned his arms and running with all his might fled the park, he didn't want people to find out what happened through the terrible smell that enveloped his body, from afar you couldn't visualize any stain thanks to the dark color of the leggings, however, if you pay attention you can see a small lumpy bulge on the back of the tight pants.

*GGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGR* *GRGRGGRGRGRGR*

"Not again, please!"

*PFPPFPFFPFPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTFPF*

"UGH"

*PRRRRRRRRR*

"I don't understand, that I could have eaten enough for this to happen to me, I hadn't shit my pants since I was a teenager!"

*GRRRRRRRRRGRGGRGRGRGRGRGR*

Sweating and with his tired legs he managed to visualize his house in the distance, when he touched his garden he felt an annoying stomach pain that prevented him from continuing running, Jorge felt that the shit was approaching his back door trying to knock it down and come outside, with each movement the rancid mixture turned and hit Jorge's large intestine.

He took the same position as before, one arm to his stomach and the other to his butt to apply pressure to prevent his underpants from ending up in a big mess and shaking, Jorge grabbed the keys to his house and quickly opened the front door.

"I must get there, I can't hold on, WHY THE HELL DID THEY BUILD THE BATHROOM BY GOING UPSTAIRS?! ugghhhhhh"

*PFTFTFTFTFTFTTFTTFTTFTF*

Climbing the stairs was quite a challenge, his diarrhea was struggling to get out and his tense and tired muscles were not strong enough to try to climb the stairs by jumping or running, but despite this Jorge managed to reach the top and dazzle the open bathroom door.

He arrived, left his bathroom door open, pulled down his tight leggings and underpants with various proofs of the stomach mess, and sat down on the neat, clean porcelain. 

*PPFFPPTPPTFPTPFTPPTPFPTPPPPT* *PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRP* *SQHHSHQSSHHQSQHSHHSHSQHSQHSQHSQ* *PFFTTFTFTFTFTFT* 

Jorge lived alone, so he didn't limit himself to containing whatever was wrong with his stomach.

*PRPPRLLLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLT* *BRLLARRSRASAPPAPPAPPAPPAPPABRLRLRLRR* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PLOP* *PLOP*

"Oh it can't be, what did I eat enough for this to happen to me?, and why right in the park?!"

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *SQUASHSHHSSHSHSHSSS* *GRRRRR* *PFFFFFFTTFTFTFTTF* *PRPRPRPRSQHBQHSHSQHHSQHQHQ* *SHHHHHHHHHHH*

"Oh... no, something is coming..."

*PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR* *HQSHSHSHQHSHQSHQ* *BKERKEBRKBEBEKEKLREEEEE* *RRRRRRRRPSSSSSSSSTRTRTTRR* *PFFFTTT* *PLOP* *PFFTFTFTFTFTFTTF* *PLOP*

"Aghhhh, I think I'm done"

Jorge took a large piece of toilet paper, folded it and slowly and carefully passed it on his burning butt, and before throwing the first piece away, Jorge stood up with his butt in the air and looked down in the toilet, the accumulated fecal material was disgusting, thick and full of lumps with a dark brown color, Jorge could swear he saw a bubble.

He sat back down and finished his work by using up half a roll of paper, flushed the toilet and left the stinking bathroom, leaving the door open for the rotten smell to disappear.

He sat down on the couch in his living room and grabbed a washcloth to wipe his sweat: "What the hell was that, I hadn't felt bad in the morning, I watch my diet, is it something in my trainer's new diet?"

*GRRRRRRRRRRR*

"Oh! My stomach is really burning inside."

*PFFFTTTT* *GRRRRRR*

"I'm so gassy, ugh, I think a nap wouldn't hurt me..."

*PPFFFFFFFFFTTTTT*

"And so I think my stomach is going to relax."

Jorge went back up the stairs with his hands massaging his stomach, he undressed, got to his room and lay down dropping on the bed, closing his eyes and with one last fart his mind shut down closing his eyes.

2 hours later...

*GRRRRRRRRRRR*

Jorge opened his eyes in a cold sweat, lifted his back and massaged his stomach again, the great pain and stomach roars lifted him, the sweat consumed him covering every part of his body especially his big butt and between legs.

Jorge looked down to see his weakened stomach, but something underneath alarmed him, he pulled his butt away and saw something terrifying: a giant brown stain covering the white blankets of his beloved bed.

Jorge was going to scream until a stabbing pain came over him:

*GGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGGRG*

"Oh God!"

He jumped up from his bed and ran naked to his bathroom without success because little by little wet gases came out of him, staining his ass more with dry shit:

*PPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTTF*

*BRBRBRBRBRBBR* *PFPFPTPTPFTPTT*

*PRRRRRRRPFFTFTF*

"I can feel melted lava mixing with trash inside my rectum!"

Almost slipping, Jorge reached the prized toilet which retains the smell and small brown marks marked on the porcelain from the previous visit to his bathroom.

And with his butt stained, he sat down and freed his stomach a second time:

*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTFTFTTFTFTFTTFTFTGFTTF* *HQHSHQHHQSHHSQHSQHSQ* *PRPRPRPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *SHSHHSHSHSHPFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTSQQASGGSSSAS* *TRTRTRTRTRTRTR* *BLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRPRRRRR*

"AHHHHHHH, how is this a possible thing?"

*HSHSHSHSHSHSHSQHHSQSQSS* *FFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTRRRRRRRR* *PSPSPSTGHGHGHGHGHGHG* *DRDRDRGRRRRR* *RRRRRRRRRRHRHRHRHHRHHR* *PFTFTFTFTFTFTTFTTFTFFTTF*

Jorge turned his head back, his forehead swam in sweat and his butt was quite sore, there must be a cause for all this, it's not normal diarrhea he wondered until he remembered the cereal he ate:

"It could be..."

*BLRLRLRLTTTRTRTRTTRTR* *POPFTFTFTTFTFTF* *TRTRTRTRTTRTRTRTRTRT* *SHSHHSHSHSHSHSHSHS*

"I have to investigate... But first I need a bath."

Jorge got up from the toilet which thanks to the sweat combined with the dried shit of his butt left stains all over the lid, his clean toilet now looked like one that belongs to a gas station in the middle of the desert where only greasy truckers go.

He took two steps and entered the bathtub, relaxed and let the clean water cover his body replacing the sweat and shit, brown water accumulated and disappeared on Jorge's feet and with a sigh of relief he dried himself with a soft towel and left the tub without first farting.

"I don't think this will end anytime soon..."

He went downstairs when again he felt the pain of an approaching diarrhea, but this did not stop him, he reached the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, checked the cereal and there was nothing strange about it, this gave him a clue to the origin of the problem, Jorge refused to think what he thought it was and bravely took one of the cartons of milk and the news did not hit him, literally:

*GRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRRGRGRGRG*

"So this is responsible for the diarrhea I have!"

*GRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGRRR*

"I can't believe it! How did it happen?"

*GRRRRRRRR* *PFFFFFFTFTFTFTFTF*

"I must throw away all this milk... and... I MUST GO TO THE BATHROOM."

Jorge dropped the carton of milk spilling on the floor, with both hands he held his bare butt and started running with all his might:

*PFPPTPTPPTPFPPTPTPTF*

*PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR*

*PPFPTPTPPPFTPPPPPT*

"Come on, stay inside, don't explode!"

He climbed the stairs, but a misstep eventually led him to lose his strength and:

*SPLASH* *PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* *HQSHHQSHSH*

Jorge shit on the stairs, his ass exploded spilling thick brown lava, he was embarrassed, but he still continued on his way letting drops of liquid shit leak out of his tight and strong ass that tried to prevent more shit from staining the stairs without any success.

Walking like a penguin, Jorge finally got to the bathroom, he saw that the toilet lid was still stained, he didn't have time to clean it, but he doesn't have time to clean it now, he slowly put his butt in the dirty toilet and relaxed:

*SQUSQHUSQHHQSHSQUAHSHASHSAHUASASSSJHSSHSHSH* *TRTRTRTTRTRTRTTTTTTRTRTRTRTRTRR* *PFPTPFFPPPTPFPTPFPTPFPPTT* *BRLRLRLRRBRLRLRRRRR* *PTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT*

"AAAAHHHHHH WHY?"

*FPPTPPTPPFPFPPTTPFFPT* *PSJSJQJSJASPALSSPLASH* *FFFFFFFTTFTFTFTFTFTFTF* *BRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRB* *GRGGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGR*

"Personal note, check purchases before paying... AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

*BRRRRRRRRRRRR* *PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP* "PRPPRPRPRPRPRPRP" *SHHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHHS* *TRTRTRTRT* *LRBRRLBTLRLRLTRTLLTB*

"I think ... Forget it!"

*PFTFTFTFTFTFT* *GRGRGRGRGRGRGGRRRRRR* *HDHJQHHJHQDDJHDDH* *PLOP* *SQHQSHHQSHQSQSQ* *TOC* *PLOP* *TLOC* *PFTFTFTFTFTTFTFTFTFTFT*

After 30 minutes Jorge was finally able to get up and set out to clean his bathroom and stairs being interrupted by occasional diarrhea, when everything calmed down he threw the milk in the trash.

[henry-and-the-seven-lords]

Hi 🧸-anon here.

Something that would be kinda funny would be like, staying up really late on a weekend hanging with Levi (probably binging some anime or playing games in his room) and then you just look at the clock and go,

“Damn, it’s 6 am already”

And like, you look at each other, nod and go directly back to what you were doing before looking at the clock. Later it’d be even funnier when all of the others would bare witness to neither of you looking alive, while simultaneously jumping between that “I’m so tired I seem more awake than anyone” and “It’s taking all my willpower to stay awake and not fall asleep at 1 pm”

Idk just some fun 3 am thoughts

Catch you later 👋

I love this because I am definitely the second one and all my friends say it is really funny to watch me try to stay awake.

Brothers Masterlist | Dateables Masterlist

Here's how I imagine it.

They are both sitting there playing some long co-op game (it takes two, mario, etc.) They started late thinking it'll be easy, and we are REAL gamers so we can speed run it without ever playing it before.

It wasn't a speedrun. MC looks up from taking a swig of their energy drink and sees the clock. It reads 6:00 AM.

"Hey Levi."

"What?"

"It's 6:00 AM"

Now he looks at the clock. They both stare at it until it changes to 6:01. Before looking at each other and then looking back to the TV.

"I need your help for this part." The time completely disregarded. I mean, they have to at least be halfway done, right? (Wrong) They finish the game at like 3:00 PM with high fives.

Now they both decide to venture out for "Breakfast" and this is when the residents of the House of Lamentations bare witness to the sleep deprived duo.

Levi would be the I'm more awake than everyone type of sleep deprived. He is able to cope somewhat well. He looks pretty normal, except he is putting orange juice in his cereal. Wait, now he put the cereal box in the fridge. Why is he using a fork? Maybe he isn't alright.

MC on the other hand, I think would be the one using all their willpower to stay awake. They stumble around the kitchen making their bowl of cereal. They actually put in the right ingredients (not without dropping some of it and making a mess of course) all before plopping at the table and falling asleep face first in the bowl.

Here are the brother's reactions to

Sleep Deprived MC (and Levi)

💙 Lucifer -

He is mad that Levi would keep MC locked up in his room like that! And on a school night!

Because of that MC missed all their classes and it reflects poorly on him.

He does think it is kinda cute how they stumble around...

"Please be careful where you are pouring MC"

He tips the milk back before they get it everywhere.

He also makes sure to put everything that Levi moved, back in its proper place and clean up their mess.

💛 Mammon -

He is very worried.

He keeps pulling MC in different directions because they keep trying to run into the counters!

"Oi, Watch where your going!"

Definitely records Levi's triumphant look as he tries to eat cereal with a fork and asks "why is my spoon broken?"

Mammon is also the one to pull MC's face out of the cereal and lean their head back against the chair. Can't have them drowning.

🧡 Leviathan -

Records MC running into every counter and laughs everytime they say "ouch" (which is everytime they hit something)

Thinks he is so awake and smart.

Until he tastes how disgusting cereal and orange juice is and wonders when the milk went bad.

MC laughs a little before face planting into their cereal.

He laughs at them before doing the same.

💚 Satan -

Definitely smirks and watch the two putz around for awhile.

Doesn't help Levi at all, just let's him put things in wrong places and eat terrible cereal.

Satan at least hands MC the right ingredients.

"No, that's a plate. Here is a bowl, love."

Makes sure they don't make a huge mess (but doesn't clean up any messes they do make, just to piss off Lucifer)

💖 Asmodeus -

Would think MC is just so adorable when sleepy.

"MC! You need to keep up with your beauty rest otherwise you will get wrinkles. I know just how to fix this. You need a self care day."

He watches them start the cereal and then eventually guides a sleepy MC to lay on his bed. (And No, he did not clean up or put away anything)

They then fall asleep and he would do a whole self care routine on their face while they sleep (like the tiktoks where the girlfriends do it to their boyfriends) it would have cleansers, those rollers to tighten skin, face masks, the works.

Definitely doesn't care about Levi or the well being of his skin.

❤ Beelzebub -

This poor boy doesn't want you to get hurt.

Tells MC to sit at the table while he makes them cereal. (Proceeds to make them a Beel sized bowl)

MC's head starts to lull forward but he catches them and feeds a sleepy MC to make sure they get their sustenance.

He then eats the rest of their bowl and Levi's (because he just left it after tasting it)

After the snack he carries MC to his room and proceeds to cuddle them while they nap.

💜 Belphegor -

He definitely just sleepily watches.

Laughs at how stupid Levi is being, before yawning and realizing that now is the perfect time to bond with MC.

Gently guides MC away from the milk they just pulled out, grabs a few small snacks and heads up to his bed.

He would offer them food, but by the time he pulls back the blankets they just crawl in and pass out.

Now he can get all the snuggles he wants with no interruptions!

[haik-choo]

karasuno boys as boyfriends

a/n: im just basically astral projecting myself into these situations; ALSO if you want more detailed ones, just ask, and you shall receive! (also this is my first post i’ve written on here! but if you want plenty of kpop content i’m @hyucksong where i’ve been writing and I am still active! :))

---

[KARASUNO BOYS AS BOYFRIENDS HEADCANNONS]

-tsukishima, yamaguchi, hinata, kageyama, tanaka, nishinoya, sugawara, daichi, and asahi

---

tsukishima kei.

the type to look you straight in your eyes when you ask for a hug and say “no, who do you think i am, your boyfriend?”

runs his hands through your hair from the front and then when his hand reaches the back of your head he pulls you into him and kisses you either on the forehead or the lips <3

in order to be in a relationship with him you HAVE to have the same type of humor.

i don’t think he could date someone who doesn’t make fun of people with him

you guys are like best friends who make fun of each other and. make out a little every once in a while

he’ll hold your hand and hug you in public but he will NEVER do anything else, especially not in front of the boys

he thinks the blush that ignites on your kissable cheeks should be for his eyes only

he gave you a keychain that had a cute little strawberry shortcake on it. and it’s your most prized possession 

will shoot a glare at anyone who watches you too closely. like no. don’t get googly eyed over MY girlfriend. 

and you don’t have a problem with that ;) 

yamaguchi tadashi.

he likes to watch you when you’re not looking to pick out the little habits you do

he thinks that knowing someone’s little hardly noticeable habits is one of the most intimate things on mother earth

he knows that you stir the milk in the bowl three times before you pour the cereal in to check for chunks because you accidentally drank spoiled milk when you were younger

NEVER has an issue getting you a gift for any occasion. he ALWAYS knows what you’re looking at and what you want and you lowkey think he can read your mind but in reality he just pays attention <3

you’re either just as shy as him to bring out his more assertive side or more assertive than he is to bring out his more timid side -- both are good

kisses you on the forehead and holds your hand in public -- he loves PDA because he can show you off :’)

yes. he kisses the back of your nape in public. so what. 

YES. HE CLOSES HIS EYES WHEN HE DOES IT AND ACCIDENTALLY INHALES YOUR SCENT AND WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR THAT YOU SMELL GOOD. IDC IF YOU THINK THAT’S CREEPY. IT’S CUTE. YES. HE GIVES YOU THAT LOOK THAT SAYS HE’S CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH YOU. SO WHAT.

kageyama tobio.

he probably fell in love with you because you were just as passionate about something else as he is about volleyball; music, drawing, writing, math, science, reading -- whatever

i see this relationship as being one that’s like...accelerated friends. like,,, you act like him and hinata except you kiss sometimes and he can see you at the end of the wedding aisle

DEFINITELY reads cosmopolitans once you start dating because he wants to be a good boyfriend for you <3

PDA is literally little to NONe,,, not because he doesn’t like it...it’s just because he doesn’t realize that he’s not showing you affection lololol

like in one arm he has his athletic duffel bag and the other he has a volleyball

he doesn’t mean to neglect you he just does AGAGAG

realized he liked you when he thought about you when he was drinking his milk and mindlessly bought you one too

the first time y’all kissed. he literally stared at you so intensely for a SOLID ten minutes debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it or wait or just smash his face into yours and hope your lips connect

he chose to cross his fingers and ended up smashing his forehead and nose into yours 

it was cute tho <3

hinata shoyo.

YALL HAVE DATES WHERE YOU BABYSIT HIS SISTER. WTF SO CUTE

when yall cuddle and you’re the little spoon he likes to put his head on your shoulder/between your neck and watch as you scroll through tiktok or instagram and just mindlessly talk about his day 

the type of boyfriend where neither of you can cook and you both confusedly look at recipes on google like: ????? wtf is the difference between brown sugar and regular sugar

it’s his INSTINCT to hold your hand. no matter what. his hand just...gravitates to yous.

AND HIS LIPS JUST FIND YOUR CHEEK??? like it’s so natural to him to kiss your cheek when he sees you, even in public. it’s so adorable i--

THE TYPE OF GUY TO WIPE OFF FOOD FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH AND STILL EAT IT AND SAY “you taste good!~” AND NOT EVEN REALIZE WHAT HE SAID. BUT WHEN YOU DO IT TO HIM HE BLOWS A FUSE

he loves to tickle you. like you’ll be vibing, drinking whatever you drink in the morning and he’ll come up to you all casually and kiss you cheek...and then he’ll pounce 

he holds you close to his chest when he tickles you, partally because he likes feeling your laugh vibrate on his chest, and partially because it’s easier to not get tickled if he’s right behind you

his sister LOVes you and it just. makes him so happy

tanaka ryuunosuke.

you CANNOT remove his hand from your ass. it is permanently glued there. it is attached to you. yes, even in public.

number 1 hypeman! he will always support you, no matter what! you could be in a competition to raise the biggest beetle and he’ll be there rooting you on and staying up late with you as you rear your award-winning beetle

you two lay next to each other on the couch/on his bed and he’ll have his arm around you and you’ll lay your head on his chest as you watch netflix shows

YOU, NISHINOYA, AND TANAKA? UNSTOPPABLE TRIO. POWER TRIPLET. 

i don’t imagine him being shy when he first kisses you; the first time he kissed you, you were literally just. existing and he literally just...couldn’t hold it in...and he just went for it

literally CATAPULTS himself into you and kisses you senseless

yes you and saeko are besties she gives you ALL the tea about young tanaka

the type to take off his shirt more during practice if you’re there watching, and literally BURN red if you mention anything about his muscles

you once traced a vein in his arm and commented on how hot it was and he literally short-circuited 

kiss his biceps. kiss his abs. kiss his cheek. please. it’s all he wants. he’s touch-starved

nishinoya yuu.

SUCH an excited boyfriend

like he seriously gets so hype doing ANYTHING with you pleaSE give this man an award. you’ll be at the amusement park and the line to get into a ride will be three hours and he’ll be like

“I get to spend three hours with you?!! fucking sick! absolutely radical!” 

he’s bold in public, but only because he wants to rub you in his teammates faces, but his ears will be Red

at home, he’s calmer :) he just loves to spend time with you, even if you’re sitting on a bench watching him practice receives for five hours straight in the blazing sun. 

he just treasures your time so much, you treats you like a precious gem -- he will NEVER treat you wrong. deadass has no problem admitting when he’s wrong -- but if he thinks he’s right then he WILL stand his ground

he’s a passionate man, who loves just as passionately.

his favorite time to kiss you is after you’ve taken a sip of a soda because he likes the taste of the syrup and the burn of the carbonation, but most of all because he likes the taste of your lips in combination with all of them

NIPS AT YOUR EAR. DEADASS JUST LOOKS AT YOU BRUSH A PIECE OF HAIR BACK WHEN YOU’RE DOING HOMEWORK AND IS LIKE “free real estate” AND C H O MPS

the day nishinoya told everyone yall were dating, kiyoko stopped you in the hallway and deadass got on her knees and thanked you LITERALLY she was like “i’ll buy you anything. give the word and it’ll be yours.” 

sugawara koushi.

would kiss you on the first date. deadass. he’ll just drop you off at your doorstep and you’re still high on adrenaline, and you’re lowkey hoping he’ll kiss you and you get  little disappointed when he doesn’t and then when you least expect it. bam. his lips on yours

his smell oh god, he literally smells like fresh sugar cookies. it’s like as soon as you get anywhere near him his smell just invades you nose and. you’re powerless. you just wanna hug him

never smells bad. try me, bitch. NEVER.

his hugs are literally god’s gifts. he loves hugging you. he just completely envelopes you with his pretty setter arms and his smell takes up all the space in your head and nothing else exists for that moment, just you two

loves tucking your hair behind your ears or just moving it out of your face; doing homework and your bangs are in the way? not for long because he’ll clip them up for you <3

he’s pretty mischievous and will playfully put his hand next to your head and lean down with such a HOT look in his eyes 

and he’ll say some shit like “i wanna devour you” and then he’ll laugh afterwards and give you a kiss on the forehead and you’re standing there. like -.- o.o -.- o.o

whenever he feels insecure about his position on the team, you’re always there to comfort him and he’ll just lay between your legs and rest his face on your stomach as you comb your fingers through his hair and scroll through tiktok

PDA? yes please. uh huh. mhmm. he doesn’t care who sees his love for you he just wants to love on you baby. kisses you on the lips, no problemo

daichi sawamura.

you and suga are the only ones who can scare him when yall are mad lol

boyfriend where you’ve dated for like a year but it feel like 50 have already passed. in a good way!

this relationship is so ungodly domestic. like from the first day it’s just pure comfort and he’s like your rock and you’re his anchor

you two bicker a lot but it’s lighthearted and you just feel so secure with him that poking fun at him and at yourself is just natural

daichi. gives. god. hugs. he does. it’s fact. 

his arms are just so big and he has so much body warmth and he probably smells like some bullshit cologne like “smoldering woods” and it’s just so. daichi

you two spend the night at each other’s house so often it’s like you already live with each other and people always forget that you don’t lolol

totally sleeps with his shirt off and only with underwear. isn’t awkward about it either;  when he wakes up he puts on sweats but still remains topless (not that you’re complaining)

you two are like. the strict parental couple, when you walk together whether it be down the street or in the hallways, you just look so right for each other it’s. mind blowing

doesn’t mind kissing you a little in public but really thinks that stuff should be for private; so normally he just kisses your temple and always has an arm either around your shoulder or around your waist

WHEN THE TEAM SEES YOU KISS ON THE LIPS THEY GO “EW” EVEN SUGA AND ASAHI AFIEFHEWIF

asahi azumane.

literal fucking teddy bear. god please cuddle him. please kith him. please comb through his hair with your fingers and kiss his nape and kiss the back of his head. please i beg of you.

did NOT ask you out first. he wrote love letter to you and then waiting behind the gym because he thought being near the volleyball gym would give him some luck and them you got in front of him and he was. deer in the headlights

needless to say you asked him out and kissed his cheek. he DIED

even once yall are comfortable in the relationship he still needs reassurance every once in a while because he’s a little insecure, not that you’ll leave him for someone else, but that he’s not good enough

his PDA skill are. subpar. he usually just holds your hand and that’s it, but sometimes kisses the corner of your eye or nose and you just combust

OH RIOGEH TOTALLY DOES BUTTERFLY AND BUNNY KISSES. YES GOD YESSSSS

when yall cuddle he doesn’t like spooning. he likes to be able to see your face and the expressions you make, so doesn’t like being the little or big spoon; yall face each other and just lets your head lay on his arm even tho it’s numb. im: soft

kisses are so sweet, slow, and hesitant. he doesn’t really kiss you often because he has terrible timing but...when he does it’s like the whole world just becomes still in that moment and nothing matters but his hands on your waist and yours in his hair 

[caratmagic]

—jung wooyoung—

contains: slight grinding— you’ll see what happens— mentions of sex

word count: 2.2k 

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Enemy Territory

🦋Chapter 3🦋

After a long day at work, and a long night with San. You were not expecting to be woken up by his buzzing phone at 8:00AM. Painfully opening your eyes, as you feel his arm over your naked waist, reach for his phone on the small night stand on your side. Once he has it, you feel him shift around behind you. Soon his fingers hitting the clicking keyboard starts to echo in the room, making you want to sigh. You slowly turn around, his eyes are still focused on the screen.

   “What is it?”

   “Mhh? Oh it’s.. Something for one of my class. The project I told you about last week.”

   “Last week? I thought this one was done.. Which is why you couldn’t come over last weekend.” You ask genuinely curious, as it was what he had told you the previous week.

   “Yeah, well.. Hum..” He hums lightly as he keeps typing. “Something came up again, sorry..” He locks his phone as you are about to lean in to get a peak. You raise an eyebrow but he just gets closer to kiss your forehead softly. “Raincheck for brunch?” He asks without really getting your answer as he’s already getting out of the bed. You watch him put his clothes on, still not answering him. “Y/N?” He turns around after passing his head through his shirt.

   “Raincheck~” A small smile draws itself on your lips and an adorable eye smile shows on his face, making your heart tug in your chest. This time, not entirely sure if it was due to love or.. something else. Something slightly bitter and painful. Maybe it was just due to a long week and having look forward to spending the weekend with San so much.

   Once he has all of his stuff packed, he once again leans in to kiss your forehead lightly before swiftly walking out of the room. Soon, you hear the clicking and a slight buzz, indicating that he had left the apartment. This sound had never felt so loud before.

   You end up rolling your eyes lightly before letting yourself fall back into your bed. Now that San was gone, there was more space in the bed. Is what you were trying to tell yourself to feel slightly better about the frustrating situation. Suddenly, the thought of Wooyoung realizing that San left early get to your mind.

   “He’s not gonna leave me alone, is he..?” You sigh softly before deciding to slowly leave your bed.

   Without looking around, you run to the bathroom to start a warm shower. Your body slightly aching due to the previous night with San. As much as you did enjoy it and his presence. You weirdly did not feel satisfied at all. Something felt empty and somewhat even worst than when he had simply canceled last week. Maybe, because you had set your hopes a bit higher this time. Also, maybe, because a very small part of you felt slightly used.

   You nervously shake your head. This was not the time to fall into one of those long and deep overthinking showers. After ten minutes, you step out of the shower, putting on comfy clothes to stay in for your Sunday. The simple shower and the small self care routine that you had gone over, was able to boost your energy and it’s with a small smile that you step out of the bathroom feeling refreshed. However, that smile dies really fast when you fall nose to nose with - once again - a shirtless Wooyoung.

   “You’re up early~” He coos lightly. “Did mister boyfriend end up getting the Y/N to wake up before 10:30 on a Sunday?” The eye roll was expected at this point. You huff slightly before pushing him out of the way.

   Now, how could a simple touch of your knuckles on his bare and warm skin, make you feel something? I mean, how was this very simple and harmless act, make you feel slightly flustered and affected. This felt ridiculous. He observes you making your way to the small kitchen. The feeling of your hands on his torso, affecting him just as much. Making him wonder, why did such a small act make him twitch ever so slightly in his shorts. However, something ‘tings’ in his brain as he watches you reach for the cereal.

   “Don’t tell me..” A small amused smile grew on his lips.

   “Shut it.”

   “He left!”

   “Wooyoung..” You turn around slowly with a nervous smile on your lips. For some reason, you felt ashamed that Wooyoung could see you like that. Knowing, little by little, those details about your relationship. Making your hatred for him only more powerful at this point. “I will make you eat all of your shirts, one by one, so you will finally have a fucking reason to walk around half naked, in MY apartment.”

   “I don’t know why you’re getting mad at me babe. I’m not the one canceling plans on you~” He says nonchalantly before stepping inside the bathroom.

   “I swear if he comes out with only a towel around his hips.. There will be a murder.” You mutter to yourself before getting your small breakfast ready.

   But, maybe, Wooyoung wearing actual clothes inside of the apartment when it was just the two of you, was too much to ask. He once again comes out with his signature low hanging towel around his hips. His eyes lazily looking at the door he was closing behind him, while his other hand runs through his damp hair. At this point, it would be just dumb to ignore your obvious attraction to your ex. It can happen, being physically attracted to your ex. It’s only normal, right? There was nothing wrong with that, just as long as nothing was to happen between the two of us.

   Before you know it, he is standing right in front of you, his eyes observing you. It feels like you should look away and ignore him, but there’s something. The way he slightly quirks his eyebrow, looking down at the small shorts and very light top you’re wearing. It felt comical to him that you would complain about him wearing so little when you were walking around looking like that. He slightly licks his lips, feeling himself twitch under his towel. As much as he was affected by the view, you hated to admit to yourself that you could feel yourself get wet. Your eyes naturally end up going down to his lips, then down further, letting his chest until—

   “You’re staring dumdumb.” He hums lightly, pleased with the slight blush on your cheeks.

   “Am not..” You turn around directly, going back to the fridge to put the milk back. As you’re about to step back to close the fridge, you feel his bareback press against your barely covered back. His arm resting on the door above yours and the other one reaching for the milk inside of the fridge.

   “I need that.” He says lowly against your ear when you feel it.

   Something poking you, against your thigh. You feel your throat tighten at the feeling of his hardening length against you. For a second, the both of you forget what you are to one another. You naturally press back as he softly pushes against you. After swallowing thickly and feeling a buzz between your legs you have not felt in a while, you snap back to reality. Pushing him away so you can step out of his arms that had you caged in.

   “You could have waited for me to be out of the way.. Or ask me. I don’t know..” You mumble and he smiles a bit amused.

   “It’s fine, I got it~” You nod barely acknowledging him before almost running back to your room. Pressing your back to the door the moment you close the door. Your cheeks were violently flushed red and it felt like you could finally get your breath back.

   “What the fuuuck..” You whisper to yourself in a mix of pure panic and slight excitation. Why was your core buzzing so nicely? “Fuck.. fuck, fuck, noo..” Your hands rubbing your face, trying to maybe wake you up from whatever this was.

   *Knock knock knock*

“Y/N? Are you ok?” A long sigh leaves your lips before deciding to blatantly lie.

“I don’t feel so good, please leave me alone.”

“Oh.. Ok, yeah.” He simply hums before you can hear him walking away.

For some reason, there was a slight pinching in your heart. It was guilt, that you knew for sure. But you were not sure if it was due to what happened by the fridge or due to the way you just pushed Wooyoung away.

Sadly, this heart pinch was far from going away and letting you live peacefully. Not when San cancelling on you was starting to get… more and more normal. It became a routine for him to come on Friday nights to, essentially, just have sex with you. Then, leave in the morning. Even letting you sleep on the side next to the wall so he did not wake you up as he left the bed. Every time leaving you with Wooyoung giving you questioning looks and slightly amused smiles.

This morning was no different. Once again, San had left earlier that morning, not even bothering to give a valid excuse as you watched him almost sneak out of your room. Now, you have to sit, eating your cereal in front of a smiling and shirtless Wooyoung. You instinctively roll your eyes, already ready for him to poke his nose where it doesn’t belong like he does best.

“How are things with San?”

“Good.” He hums simply in response instead of the usual teasing about how he never stays for the day after sleeping over. Insisting that it was just “weird”.

“What do you want to do today?”

“Excuse me what?”

“I don’t know, I’m just asking.. If you want to do something today. I mean, with San canceling on you again, you’re most likely free right?” He smiles at you and you clench your teeth together.

“If it’s for you to just stick your nose in my business and make fun of my relationship. I will pass, thank you..” You almost hiss at him, making him laugh.

“I don’t do that.” He scoffs and you can’t help but to roll your eyes. “I just thought why not. You know, because it’s my last week living here with you, so..” You raise an eyebrow at his comment.

That’s right, he was supposed to only stay for a month. It had felt like such a long time when he first told you, but now.. Weirdly enough, there’s a small part of you that wishes he could have stayed longer?

“We’re not friends like that..”

“No, but we’re still roommates. How about tonight I’ll make you dinner?” He raises an eyebrow and you end up pursing your lips together. Wooyoung knew just how much you loved it when he used to come over to cook for you.

“Well..”

“I have a grill, we can grill meat.” You could already feel yourself salivate.

“O-Ok fine.”

“Perfect! Then, I just have a few things to do this morning but, you’ll come with me to the store later today right?”

“Yeah su--”

*Knock Knock Knock*

The door knocks heavily, making you both turn your heads towards it. You look at Wooyoung and he gives you an interrogating look.

“You expecting someone?” You shake your head at his question.

“No, you?”

“Mhm.” He says no as he stands up to go open the door. The moment he turns the handle, the door flies open to a crying girl.

“Oh my god!! Wooyoung!!” She jumps into his arms, nuzzling her face into his naked torso.

Your heart clenches uncomfortably and your teeth clenches at the view. Any doubt of jealousy was out the window. You wish this girl could get off of Wooyoung this instant. The moment she looks up, you recognize her. She was the girl that had come over that one night when they were watching a movie.

“Wha--What’s wrong?” He asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“My roommate keeps on inviting her boyfriend over and just ugh. I’m so sick of it and--” She looks back up towards me before leaning into Wooyoung’s arms again. “Can we go to your room?” She whispers even though you could obviously hear her.

You instinctively roll your eyes as Wooyoung nods yes. She takes his hand in hers and takes him to his room. While she gives you an interesting look, Wooyoung mouths a small ‘sorry’ while being dragged by her. You purse your lips lightly in response. As much as this was annoying, now a bigger problem was arising. Seeing this girl hug Wooyoung, made your heart clench more than San’s new habit of coming over just for sex. Seeing your ex being hugged by a random girl was actually more hurtful than your own boyfriend’s weird behavior towards you. There was no more denying this to yourself now.

[ chapter 4 >> ]

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 10

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the support and feedback! I'm so glad you're enjoying this fanfic <333 Feel free to like, reblog and comment. Would love to hear more of your thoughts! Love u guys <3

CHAPTER TEN

Just like last time he was here, Bucky grabbed some cereal box, poured the contents on a bowl followed by a tall glass of milk dumped over, making a mess on the kitchen island like a ten-year-old kid. You just finished changing into some new clothes when he finished pouring the milk in the bowl.

You followed into the kitchen, pouring yourself a hot cup of coffee from Peter's new coffee maker he got just two weeks ago and cleaned the mess that Bucky had left.

"How is it," you started just as he was about to walk out, "that you can flawlessly make a drink without making a huge mess but not with a cereal?"

He plopped down on the couch and placed his feet on the coffee table and turned on the television. He shrugged in response, eating a mouthful. "I was just trying to impress you. You're Peter's best friend. I want you to like me."

You just hummed and sat down on the love seat as soon as you finished, lifting your knee to your chest and letting the warm liquid slide at the back of your throat, letting the caffeine sit in me. You gave him no response as you didn't know what else to tell him. You just gazed at him, watching him like a hawk, as he continued to take a mouthful.

But you weren't staring at him like you did before. You were, somehow, trying to read his mind because the person sitting right now on your couch felt and looked so much different from the person who kept giving you lingering stares at the bar. One moment he was complimenting your photos, and the next your face. It felt like there were two of him and you didn't know which one attracted you more.

No one had ever looked at your photos the way he did. No one had ever talked about your photos the way he did. And no one had ever succeeded in getting a sudden yet fleeting internal reaction from you by calling you "doll."

"It's rude to stare, doll."

Except Bucky.

You apologized, and averted your gaze from him towards the television screen which showed the news channel. You took a huge sip of your coffee and ignored the searing pain of the hot liquid on the roof of your mouth. That's gonna leave a mark.

You hibernated inside your room for the next few hours, watching some sitcom on your laptop. You would hear Bucky yelling at the television screen from time to time or into his phone. Some names unfamiliar to you were mentioned. You hated the feeling of isolating yourself from the world but here you were, cocooning because you didn't know how else to be around Bucky after what happened that one night.

Plus, it felt like you were a child stuck with your babysitter.

He would knock on your door, check up on you, ask you if you needed some snacks, or if you wanted to do anything else besides locking yourself up in your room. The last time he called out for you, he was asking you to lunch, to the little Italian place across the building. Starving, you agreed to come with him only if he paid.

He just shook his head with a smile on his face. "I feel like you're taking advantage of me."

"I am." You said, locking the apartment door behind. "It's not like everyday I'm out with a rich guy."

"You gotta stop calling me that. I'm not rich rich."

"Compared to me, Buck," you said, "you are. Come on, let's go, I'm starving."

Just as you anticipated, Marco was beaming at you two once you entered his place, clearing a way for you, parting the customers like Moses did with the Red Sea. He pulled out two chairs for you and Bucky. Marco, as you assumed, was more than happy to see Bucky and more of his money. Bucky shook hands with Marco, thanking him.

Once you ordered, you turned towards Bucky who was busy looking at the photos of the gorgeous places in Italy on the walls. There was a bridge of silence between you as you continued to stare at him, still trying to read him. He may be an open book but it felt like his pages were complete blanks. Pages that were deep, far away from the cover, hidden and hoping to never see the light of day.

"Hey, Bucky?" you said, grabbing his attention. "What did you mean that night? When you told me I was something else? And please, don't give me one of those 'you're not like most girls' crap." You gave a snort of disgust.

He chuckled, biting the inner part of his lower lip before speaking. "I wasn't, anyway. You just intrigue me, that's all."

You subtly glance at him. "I intrigue you?"

"Yes, honestly you do. And you're fun to be with. It's not everyday someone agrees with me to scare off a one night stand the first day we meet." He laughed. "And I would like to get to know you better. And not just here."

You knitted your brows together in utter confusion. "Wait, what do you mean not just here?"

He shrugged, his eyes leaving yours and looked at somewhere else besides you. "Like outside."

"Like outside?" You repeated, the realization dawning on you. "Bucky, are you asking me out on a date?"

Bucky lifted his head and proceeded to look at the spotty ceiling, his lips curved downward. "If you want it to be."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "I don't think it's a good idea."

Then, he shot his head towards you, an agonizing frown marring his perfectly chiseled face. "Why not?"

You could think of many reasons why it would be a bad idea. First, you haven't been on a date for a very long time. Every person who had asked you out never had the luck of receiving a good answer from you. Second, Bucky was a complicated man.

And third, it would feel like betraying Peter.

"You're Peter's stepbrother." You sighed, defeated. "I can't do that to him."

"Right. Peter."

Marco came just about damn time to give you your newly-cooked food. Bucky ordered the same thing he got last time he was here: an Aglio Oglio pasta, paired with two large slices of pizza and garlic bread while you got a footlong Italian sub dripping with Marco's secret family sauce he never dared reveal. Marco said something in Italian before going back to the counter to tend to other customers.

Bucky smiled at you before you started digging in and began to speak. "How about this? Just two friends hanging out, not in the apartment, not here, not even at the bar, and getting to know one another. No funny business. Just like this. How does that sound?"

"As long as you promise not to give me those weird creepy stares you've been giving me since last night."

"Please, you also couldn't keep your eyes off me." He rolled his eyes. "Plus, I do have to admit you do look hot making drinks." He scrunched up his nose, taking a bite of his pizza without his eyes leaving yours.

A wave of confidence surged right through you, prompting you to ask this next question: "Did the whole cleavage thing push things?" You winked.

Bucky tilted his head to the side, just like he did this morning in the apartment, swallowing his food. "I'm not gonna lie, doll, that was also pretty hot."

"You should thank my friend Nat for that then."

He smirked. "I'll be sure to. So, uh, are you in?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, I don't know how you kids these days ask things. Is it like that? I feel like it is."

You rolled your eyes, chucking a piece of garlic bread to his face. "I'm not a kid. By the way, how old are you?"

"I'm turning thirty-nine next month."

"Thirty-nine." You repeated. "Wow, if we were to go on a date, you'd be the oldest guy I've dated."

"Well, I'd be honored."

After your little lunch, Bucky went back to his office in his penthouse to deal with a few things with his associates while you, on the other hand, headed to the bar and started to fix all the stuff accordingly. A few hours later, Nick and Nat silently creeped up behind you, scaring the shit out of you and nearly making you drop the bottle of whiskey you were holding. You scolded both of them which they just, in turn, shrugged off.

You pulled Nat into one of the booths, making sure you were out of Nick's sight and wouldn't be able to hear you.

"Bucky kind of asked me out on a date." You whispered.

"Holy shit, I knew it. I knew he has the hots for you!" She said with a voice louder than you would've liked.

"Sshh, keep your voice down! I don't want Nick to hear this."

"Oh right, 'cause of the whole thing."

"Yes." You replied. "So anyway, I told Bucky it wouldn't be a good idea because it feels like I'm betraying Parker."

"He's just his stepbrother. Honey, you wouldn't be betraying anyone at all."

"But Parker's my best friend -- "

"Exactly." Nat's eyes bore into yours. "He's just your best friend, not your boyfriend so go date whoever you want to date. Just not Nick. He's kind of a loser."

"Isn't there some kind of code?"

"Like a bro code?"

"Yes, something like that."

"Did you and Peter have an agreement that you shouldn't date his stepbrother?"

You shook your head no.

"Then it's okay."

"Isn't dating your friend's siblings a part of some unspoken rule?"

She rolled her eyes at you, obviously fed up with all the excuses you have been trying to make. "As long as you're not hurting anyone then it's fine."

An exasperated sigh came out of your mouth. "Well, Bucky seemed to kind of agree to it, so what was supposed to be a date turned into just friends hanging out and getting to know each other. His words, not mine."

"Right, and once you get to know each other, you two can go on expensive dates and such."

"I don't know, it doesn't feel right."

"Now, now, don't be too sudden with that thought. Deep down you kind of want this to happen. If you didn't, you wouldn't be having second thoughts about this."

Oh, what you would give to prove Nat wrong but there was nothing else you could give because you knew she was right. You were fleetingly staring at Bucky as much as he did with you. And right from the get-go, there was spontaneity which opened up a whole new thrill in you. Something you never thought you'd ever feel.

The rest of the night felt excruciatingly slow.

There were some familiar faces in the crowd and some unfamiliar ones brought in by the regulars, having fun on Saturday night. While you were taking orders and making drinks left and right, your eyes kept roaming in the nameless faces inside the bar, hoping to see Bucky but your hopes were crushed when you found no sign of him. You were forced to take your mind off him for once as you were flooded with more orders, and complicated drinks that weren't on the menu. In the middle of your shift, there was even a small argument between a college student and a man in his thirties at the pool table. Eventually, the man, assaulting the poor boy, got kicked out of the house by Steve which was just a piece of cake with all the muscles he was packing.

Steve approached you with a stern look on his face. "If you see that guy again, don't let him in anymore alright? I don't want any fights in my bar."

"Got it." You said, taking note of the man's face from earlier. You warned the other bartenders beside you and the waitresses going around. You sighed, thinking to all the times you've told Steve to hire bouncers for the place but he just said:

"What do you need bouncers for when I'm here?"

And it was kind of hard to argue with that because it did make sense. The only problem was he was always cooped up in that small office of his. You never bothered to learn the secrets he was keeping in there. He couldn't always be doing work stuff. But after a few weeks of working with him, it was best to let those things slide as he was your boss.

Once your shift ended, you texted Bucky where he was but you never got a reply. You exchanged numbers right before he went back to the White Wolf.

You were greeted by an unlocked apartment once you got there but there was no sign of Bucky.

"Bucky?" You called out his name as you removed your jacket and placed it on the coat rack just beside the door. "Are you here?"

Silence answered you back. You went into your room and changed your shirt into something a bit more comfortable: an oversized sweater. A few seconds after you changed, you received a message from Bucky telling you to go to the rooftop.

You immediately went up, the chilly New York air touching your cheeks. You emerged from the ladder with a bewildered look crossing your face. The once grimy floor of the rooftop was perfectly cleaned up, leaving no dust and dirt behind. There were two large crates in the middle, big enough for two people to sit on. On top of the crate were a large box of pizza (you assumed it was from Marco's), and two bottles of ice cold beer.

"What on earth?" You gasped, finding Bucky emerging from behind a big box just casually standing against the brick walls.

"Hey, doll." He greeted you with a cheeky smile.

You stepped towards him, enveloping yourself in a hug in an attempt to warm yourself up against the cool air. "Did you clean our rooftop?"

"I may or may not have. Who knows? Anyway, I got us some pizza. I figured you were hungry from your late shift."

As a matter of fact, you really were. Drained from the endless orders and demands, you usually didn't have the time to sneak a bite of food or even a sip of water.

"I got the pizza from Marco's. He's a really nice man and was more than glad to see me when I stopped by."

"Of course he was." you laughed, sitting down on one of the crates. You opened the box, your mouth already drooling from the sight of Marco's mouth-watering pizza. "He likes the dough. Ha! Get it?"

He rolled his eyes at you but with a hint of a small smile in his lips as joined you on the crates. "So, are you gonna spend the night in the apartment?" You asked.

"Yes."

"What, got another girl back in the penthouse?" You teased, nudging his shoulder.

He gave you a throaty, sarcastic laugh. "This time, no."

"Too bad. I was ready to give a performance of a lifetime." You chuckled, glancing at him sideways and catching him with a big smile on his face.

You looked around you. The only source of light you had was the city lights towering above, and ahead of you. "You know," you started, "if you hung those little lights on the walls or just above us, this would seem like a date."

He pretended to wipe some sweat off his forehead. "Phew, dodged a bullet over there huh?"

You giggled, tipping the cap off the ice cold light beer and bringing the top of the bottle to your mouth. The liquid felt cold in your mouth but soon warmed up, nestling inside your stomach.

"This is nice." you commented then started to ramble on some more. "It'd be nicer to see New York during sunset though. Ever since I got the night shift in the bar, I rarely do. It's all the traffic and bright city lights."

You painted Bucky a picture of the last sunset you've watched. You had no recalling memory when it was but you remembered it as another cold day (but not as cold as tonight). The colorful sunset hues plastered in the high skies. Seeing it from the rooftop felt like they could easily be reached, as if they were wanting to be touched. And without a warning, the sun started to go down millisecond by millisecond.

"To others, what happens after a sunset is just another sign of the darkness to come. And then poof, city lights." you continued, then proceeded to gesture at the sky. "But for me, the feeling after a sunset is what I love the most. The sun wallowed in serenity in the pale break of light in between those dark clouds forming. Ugh, I just love that."

"I see what you mean." Bucky hummed, withdrawing his eyes to the sky to look at you. "It's like an afterglow."

"Yes, like an afterglow." You agreed, meeting his intense gaze. "If seeing something so beautiful makes you feel good then the after of it all must be... more pleasurable."

"A lot of people tend to miss that detail after sunset." He replied. "But not you. You're a photographer, y/n. The details in nature, in people are some things you can never miss."

You just hummed in response, taking a huge sip of your beer. " So, when did your love for photography start?" Bucky asked.

"It started when I was young." You replied. "I would play around with my parents' digital cameras, take photos of literally everything around me, especially when we were on vacation. It was just a hobby then. I never thought of it as a means of living until I was in college. God, I hated business school. Every second of it. I just did it to make my parents happy but I really wanted to be out there, embracing people, embracing everything in life. It's like -- "

"Capturing people's stories in a different light?" He continued for you, as if reading your mind.

"Exactly." You smiled, quite happy that he saw it the way you usually did.

"If it wasn't for the hotel business I also would've been an artist. Maybe an actor."

"So, why didn't you?"

"Because business is all I know." He sighed. "Tony Stark, the guy who adopted me, taught me everything there was to know. As he was building his empire, he pulled me towards it and now, I'm running one of his hotels. Y'know, I don't think of him as a father or anything. More like a friend, a wingman."

And just like that, Bucky peeled himself like an onion. Slowly. Layer by layer by layer. But then he stopped. He opened his mouth to say more but then he decided to stop. You waited but nothing else came out. As much as he wanted to know you, you too wanted to know him — and not just his wild adventures but the things that were deeper than that.

It felt nice to talk to Bucky this way. Actually, it wasn't just nice. It was very comfortable that it gave you a warm sensation on your chest.

Seeing that he wasn't as comfortable as he was before opening up, you steered to a different topic. "Have you ever felt that kind of feeling?" you asked.

"What feeling?"

"The afterglow feeling."

"No," he chuckled, "I don't think so. I'm stuck in a routine, y/n. Business, party, booze, girls. Nothing exciting, nothing out of the ordinary. Everything's the same, everything feels like nothing after."

You agreed with him. "I guess I'm also stuck in a rut." You harmonized with his laughter, seeing your life flash before your eyes. "Cheers to that."

With that, you drank the night away.

[cryinginthebackseat]

initials t.c.

Fandom: Open Heart

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC

Words: 7.299 (I’M SO SORRY)

Summary: Tobias Carrick makes Claire an offer she can’t refuse.

Warnings: 50% plot, 50% smut, swear-a-thon, blasphemy

Author’s Note: when the book first introduced us to tobias carrick, the first thing that hit my mind was “okay, but that dude is like the carbon copy of jesse williams and that’s hot” but then, once it reveals who he is and what’s his role in the book i went “interestinggggggg” cause you know, i’m a sucker for morally grey characters and all, and i’m not even ashamed to admit it. also, carrick is shaping up to be such an interesting character with each chapter and maybe one day- okay, maybe this sounds like a pipe dream- but one day, i hope he can be a li (let a girl dream plz) lmao

also if anyone’s interested, i made a PLAYLIST to accompany reading the fic.

the title is inspired by serge gainsbourg’s initials bb

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Cast down off heaven Cast down on my knees I’ve lain with the devil Cursed god above Forsaken heaven

To Bring You My Love - PJ Harvey

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Whenever Claire thinks about Tobias Carrick, admittedly, unfortunately, tragically, she always thinks about his eyes first before remembering what a colossal pain in the ass he is.

It always comes in that order. Like the number 3 always comes before 4, like the seawater dragging back from the shoreline before a tsunami occurs, like pouring milk before the cereal (she honestly didn’t get what the fuss is about until one day Elijah cried ‘oh, hell no you don’t, satan!‘ one morning and proceeded to give her bullet points why pouring the milk before the cereal is considered a sin and more of an abomination than Nephilims’ existence and that there’s a higher probability that she’s a psycho for being a ‘milk first’ kind of person). So apparently, Claire’s a psycho now which explains so many aspects- but she digresses and the point is, the reaction is uncontrollable and she high-key hates how she can’t control her goddamn mind most of the time.

The point is, she needs to stop thinking about him to begin with. 

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Claire Castelnuovo was born in the summer, under the sign of Gemini. Marilyn Monroe once said that stands for intellect, being a Gemini, but she was too blissfully unaware of this guerdon that she devoted her adolescent years to being outdoors instead. Too many days she spent trampling along the cornfields with her cousins until the skies faded out with brilliant purple-tinged amber and she was carrying a piece of the sun in her skin and smelled like one, stuffing wildflowers inside her boots as she walked around the neighborhood with her dad’s old stethoscope, napping in a hammock with Oasis’ All Around the World on repeat. By the time she hit 15, her black strands had turned brown from repeated sun exposure. She loved it.

But it was a different time, a different place. Somewhere that only exists on the margins of her memories, lost and hidden.

Now, Claire prefers the night.

It’s 9:30 pm when she arrives at a hotel bar in downtown Boston. A newly christened establishment which has somehow become a regular spot for Hemingway’s enthusiasts once the Boston Globe wrote an article about their Hemingway Daiquiri and how, as they wrote it, ‘probably the only place that’s brave and crazy enough to adhere to the 1930s original recipe’ and bourgeois party birds at wee hours during the weekend.

Her eyes are gritty, dry and strange. Her mind’s much worse for the wear- she feels like shit, like in the middle of watching that scene from The Green Mile shit when all is hopeless and you feel like walking out of the theater, but you’ve spent your last savings just to buy the ticket, so you decide to stick through it.

Claire makes a beeline for the bar, tries to flag down the bartender. She orders an Old Fashioned, making sure to specify to double it because she’s not a regular here and he’s not Reggie and that’s how she’s been taking her drink for years.

She knows well deep in her bones that she should be somewhere else. Somewhere more familiar, somewhere where Tim Mcgraw often plays from the subpar speakers, and the rustic wooden bar countertop is gouging and discoloring from the cheap household cleaners and alcohol stains, and her friends are cramming together in the same booth in the back, reveling and laughing until they close the bar down and make a mess all over. Perhaps it’s a mistake coming here, where no one’s a familiar face and the drinks are a tad overpriced for her budget.

But then, perhaps this is exactly what she needs; the unfamiliarity, the visceral feeling knowing that she doesn’t belong here, where no one knows her name and the huge deal of weight she’s currently carrying on her shoulders. Perhaps, she can’t face her friends after what happened, after what Esme has done. Shit, how could any of this happen? Claire knows this all on Esme’s, but her guilt has grown hopelessly tangled with her anxiety. She’s her intern, for fuck’s sake, Claire’s supposed to prevent this from happening in the first place.

Man, where’s Declan Nash when she feels like punching someone in the face?

Claire makes the mistake of drinking her drink too quickly, because it hasn’t been ten minutes and she’s drained half of the content. Then she reaches for her phone in her bag, fiddles with it, absent-minded, equal parts bored before then settles on watching the band performing Art Pepper’s You Go To My Head and immediately thinks of that time she accidentally dropped her brother’s saxophone in a moment of her rather graceless, wine-soaked self with the whole family present.

Someone plops down on the empty stool next to her. Claire’s now scrolling through her phone- again, bored. Sienna commented on the post Elijah shared to the group chat with a few unnecessary-yet-totally-necessary emojis to the already convoluted series of texts and Claire only reads them in silence, not only because her friends’ texting behaviors are too chaotic for her to follow sometimes but she’s not really feeling like talking to anyone right now.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.”

Famous last words.

Claire freezes in her seat. Her phone’s still glowing in her hand, alighting her features. She recognizes that voice- too well, that is and it’s enough to set off her flight-or-fight response.

She glances up from her phone, preparing for the worst.

Well, what’s presented before her is literally the worst.

“Of all the gin joints…” she says once her eyes find Tobias Carrick sitting next to her, still in his work shirt, sleeves rolled-up, a few buttons undone, reeking of smoke, soap and antiseptic with a shit-eating grin plastered over his face.

She should have gone to Donahue’s instead.

“Evening to you too, Castelnuovo. Drinking your dinner tonight, I see?”

“What, this? No, this is breakfast. 100% daily value of alcohol and pretty much nothing else. I mean, it’s not the weekend without a bad case of hangover and an aspirin snowglobe in the morning, am I right? You know, like a glass of aspirin? Not a literal snowglobe?” she blabbers, realizing just so by the time she hears him snort. Claire chokes down another sip to shut her mouth up. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m about to commit first-degree murder and burn this whole place to the ground,” he drawls, the ever goddamn sarcastic. “What do you think? I’m trying to get dru-”

“No, I mean what are you doing here, of all places? Can’t you get drunk somewhere else?” she interrupts, her midwest accent does funny things to the vowels and consonants- something that only happens whenever she’s in distress, or at least according to Jackie.

“Last time I heard, this joint’s still owned by the Hilton, not a certain junior member of the Diagnostics Team at Edenbrook hospital.”

“Dude, what do you think of the H in Claire H. Castelnuovo stands for?” Deadpan, trying to keep up with the rolling sarcasm, she retorts. He smirks.

“Horatio?”

“Get the fuck out of here,” she mutters, mid-eye-roll, mid-snickering.

He chuckles, his voice rich and smoky amidst the late-night swing and distant chatters. Carrick doesn’t leave, of course, typically him- if those anecdotes Ethan told her has taught her anything about his character, that is- defying everything, scheming his way to the top, the embodiment of ‘those devilish boys with their heavenly eyes’ type your mother warns you about.

Not that the latter is relevant.

“Or what?” His mouth twitches but there’s a hard, challenging light in his eyes that she knows too well by now.

“Or I’m leaving.“ She shoots him a glare. He’s testing her patience- again, like it’s his finesse. Some things never change, it seems.

“Come on, Castelnuovo, don’t be a sourpuss. The night is young and I can promise you, the last thing I am is a horrible drinking buddy.”

With a touch of irony, she replies: “I’m sure. I bet you asked your friends to fill out a questionnaire every time you went out with them, did you?”

Carrick hums.

“You’re funny.” But he says it in the same tone that someone might say Jesus fuck, you’re probably one of the most frustrating creatures I’ve ever laid eyes on. Also, because the next thing he says is: “A little rough around the edges, but funny nonetheless.”

“That makes one of us then.”

Carrick frowns, which is kind of a surprise because she’s half expected him to flash her that signature cheeky grin of his.

“Listen, I’m just trying to make a friendly conversation here. I know we haven’t really seen eye-to-eye with each othe-”

Claire snorts and crosses her arms over her chest. “That, doctor, is an understatement of the fucking century.”

“Okay so, we’re like Tom and Jerry but sans the background music and a naive little duckling running around calling one of us his momma, but I feel like now’s the time to call out a temporary truce between us.” A beat, then: “I heard about what happened with the intern.”

Something flashes across her face- and Carrick must have noticed it, because his face does this odd thing- it softens, even for a moment. She hates it. He’s not supposed to be looking at her like that, not supposed to see her at her weakest state or saved her ass- And Jesus, why does she have to be indebted to Tobias Carrick, of all people- But god forbid, the last thing she’ll ever do is crying in front of him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she mutters, barely audible, trying to temper her fluctuated emotions.

“Then don’t. We can talk about anything else or fall into some sort of endless, meaningless platitudes. Whichever will work.” As if sensing Claire’s lingering hesitation, he adds. “Tell you what, to sweeten the offer, your next drinks are on me.”

She assesses him for a long minute, eyes narrowing. She’s shaking her head, but her mouth, as if against her will, instead says: “Careful, Carrick, there’s a chance I’ll be abusing that offer and run you dry.”

"Hey, if you want to butcher your liver so bad, don’t stop on my account,” he says. “Don’t worry, though, I’ll make sure to save your ass again this time around. Pro bono.”

Claire looks as if she’s just swallowed a dead rat. “Thanks, but no thanks. Death seems more like an appealing choice.”

“Well, I stopped death from interfering then, I’ll stop it again.” Carrick winks, she pretends to gag again yet remains still in her seat, so Carrick waves at the bartender for their order- she orders for a refill and he, a martini and Claire is this close from asking 'shaken or stirred?’ but then remembers who he is and immediately washes the question down with her drink.

“You know, if anyone told me weeks ago that I’d be having a drink with you tonight, I probably would have socked them.“

Carrick is in the middle of lighting his cigarette, but laughs instead. “The Times They Are a-Changin’, as Bob Dylan said.” A puff of smoke escapes his mouth, curling around his fingers. Claire instinctively looks away. “Which reminds me of that one time your mentor sang Ballad of A Thin Man on the fucking subway when we were 20.”

She swivels her head to his direction, on the verge of choking on her drink. “Hold on, hold on, Ethan Jonah Ramsey sings?”

“Give him a dare he couldn’t refuse and a few shots of whiskey, and I promise you he’ll sing like Sinatra on crack.” He grins, his eyes are all crinkled and bright; she thinks that means he’s genuinely amused. “Ah, good times. We were like- wait, who was it he’d like to say we’re like again?”

A small smile pulls at her lips. “Bert and Ernie.”

“Jesus, he really fucking compares us to some Sesame Street characters, huh?” She laughs at that, loud and bright. He does the same. “Personally, I’d always say we were like Butch and Sundance back then- rebels with a cause, a band of misfits, trying to leave our marks on the world. You know those types. We were young, we wanted so much- I still do. I mean, let’s be real, whoever’s wanted to be defeated at their own game?”

A crease forms between her eyebrows, not quite a frown.

“Nobody,” Claire concurs, hating herself for it. “But was it worth it? Betraying the closest thing you had to a brother or a lover…” Carrick coughs on his smoke from the latter. “or whatever in the process just to get what you wanted?” Claire was obviously aiming for that brash, hard-hitting jab, but it lands gloriously too soft.

The bartender finally places their ordered drinks down on the bar. Carrick reaches for it, taking a careful swig, then sets his glass down. He takes a deep breath.

"It’s nothing personal. It never was. I never considered him as my rival.”

“Yeah, but by doing whatever you did, you’ve made an enemy out of him,” she counters. “Look, Carrick, I know we live in a dog-eat-dog world and I know being good sometimes doesn’t get the job done. Perhaps Machiavelli was right. Perhaps, when necessary, you have to be ruthless, dissembling and manoeuvring- what did he say again? ‘The end justifies the means’? But if any worthwhile end can justify the means to attain it, if everyone outright surrenders to their darker side, then what’s left of our humanity?”

For an interminable moment, there is only silence. He simply stares at her, as if she’s a walking, talking Rubik’s cube he can’t solve or a book that he has opened and now he’s got to know so much more and she feels pinned under those warm irises, uneasy.

Suddenly, his mouth begins to take shape; the corners hike up, stretch and then he does the unexpected.

The bastard fucking laughs.

“Excuse me?!” she spits, white-hot anger lacing each word. Carrick laughs harder- the audacity- despite Claire’s growing razor’s edge stare. “Did you just laugh at me? I was being fucking seriou-”

“Sorry, sorry.” Wiping an imaginary tear from his left eye. “I was just remembering Harper’s words. She’s right, you really are on the side of the angels, aren’t you?”

She points at him with her glass, snarling. “And you, mister, are the devil himself with a medical degree and an egg head- and I don’t mean the slang for a highly academic person.”

“Ouch,” Carrick says out loud, still kind of laughing, borderline frowning. “Okay, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“Damn straight. Though you have a lot to apologize for.”

He groans. “Don’t tell me you’re still pissed about that one patient I stole under your nose?”

“The North remembers, ser,” she says, mean-spirited.

“Then does the North remembers that I saved her life?”

“Oh, so you’re discrediting the efforts of the other doctors that helped you make the cure?”

“Alright, alright. You win.” Carrick holds up his hands, the universal gesture of defeat and takes one final drag of his cigarette. He stubs it out, all the while keeping his gaze on her.

“So, how exactly can I make it up to you?“

Claire blinks- once, twice, thrice, realizing his intent. His voice drops an octave and he’s leaning in, close enough for her to notice the constellations of freckles splaying across his face and the way his brown eyes glinted like two shots of whiskey under a stream of light, intense and all-consuming. She feels her mind races, her brains feel as if they underwent a short-circuit and get caught on fire, and the fact that her mind’s on the precipice of exploring the idea is not helping.

A burst of laughter erupts from her throat, not that it’s funny- there’s nothing funny about the situation, but someone ought to diffuse this shift of tension between them, or that was her aim, at least.

“What, you wanna pay me back?” she asks, trying to keep her voice from cracking but failing miserably. Fingers trembling against her glass as she chugs nearly a quarter of her drink in one go.

He notices that.

"A Lannister always pays his debts, does he? If you think that I owe you one, then I’ll gladly pay.” His eyes flick back to her face, searing into her. The air crackles between them. The band is playing a different song now, a sound that only exists on the margin of her attention. If they’re in, say a mid 2000s rom-com movie, someone would probably interrupt this moment and save her from this. But this isn’t a movie.

Claire licks her lips, a candid reaction which encourages him to inch closer- or is it her? She can’t tell anymore. Tracing odd patterns on the palm of her hand with his finger and oh god, this is Carrick, the bane of her fucking existence, she’d shoot him first before she kisses him. But something about the prospect of fucking this bastard twists her insides deliciously into a confused mess.

“How? By fucking me?” she inquires, feigning scandalized- all that Catholic guilt bullshit.

He grins, all-teeth and wolfish and shrugs as if they’re talking about his life insurance policy or shit. “Well, that’s the idea.”

“But you don’t even like me.” It should come out as I don’t even like you, but even she knows that’ll be just another lie she tells.

“On the contrary, I enjoy our rivalry far more than I should, Castelnuovo,” he purrs and places a hand on her knee. Her throat bobs. She’s wearing a skirt, it didn’t seem important then, but now his hand feels warm against her skin, dangling on the edge of impropriety. Like gravity, all it takes is a little push for him to cross that line.

“I should be disliking the way you talk to me, challenging me and putting me on the back foot every goddamn time. I should be focusing on taking you down a peg, but the more I see you, the more I realize you have an attractive kind of power. And I’m just one man. And if there’s anything I learned, the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

But then his movement suddenly ceases. Claire almost asks why.

"However…”

“What?” she stares up at him, eyes wide, breath hitching.

“However if you only accept alcohol as the currency for transactions, then I’ll tell the bartender to get us another round instead,“ he tells her, offering her one last chance to back out from this, from making this mistake with him.

Claire stares into her drink, actually mulling this over. Her mind tells her no, but the other part- the alcohol-infused part of her mind- whispers otherwise. She imagines if Ethan or any of her friends are here, they would probably grab her shoulder and shake the living hell out of her for even reconsidering his offer.

But then again, intelligence, alcohol and desperation have always had a bad history of getting along together.

“What about June?” Claire asks against her better judgement, after a long, considerable pause. Carrick raises a confused brow.

“What about her?”

“I thought you guys…” she trails off, makes a face, feeling all-kind of flustered and aroused and wow, she’s really doing this, huh? “I mean, I don’t know- I don’t wanna get in between you guys.”

“Nah. It was only a three time thing, but there’s never been anything between us.” He chuckles at Claire’s askance look. “If you don’t believe me, you can fact-check it with the woman herself,” Carrick adds, looking at her dead-on with his eyes like he wants to get the message across.

She regards him silently for a long second, and maybe she’s a touch drunk now, maybe the bartender put something in her drink, or maybe she just needs to blow off some steam after what’s been happening in these past few weeks and Carrick happens to be a decent warm body for the occasion, but Claire finds herself shifting closer.

"Then I want you to pay me back.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah,” she answers, more sure this time, more determined.

Her nose bumps his, his breath fanning across her face all the while Carrick’s slightly pushing her skirt up, letting his fingertips travel higher. His eyes keep darting back and forth from her eyes and lips, checking for her reaction. There is no inhibition here, not anymore. People might be watching- heck, they could be already watching and it terrifies her that she doesn’t give a damn about it.

“But if you tell anyone about this, I swear to god… ” she warns and a shadow of mirth passes across his eyes, making her almost regretting this. Almost.

“Claire, darling.” It’s the first time he’s ever said her name and her stomach does a tango. “Your secret is safe with me.“ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

He gets them a room in the hotel, it’s on the twentieth floor. Carrick handles the accommodation- he can afford it, apparently, which is not really surprising and the nuisating check-in procedure while Claire only waits in the lobby like a beautiful, agitated china doll amidst the turbulent sea the whole time until he comes back, flashes the room key at her and beckons her to follow.

She goes ahead of him, but he catches up. His body heat sends her anxiety rocketing sky-high through the roof as they walk next to each other, hands briefly brushing against one another but she ignores that (or at least she tries).

They are silent in the elevator, they are silent even once they reach the designated floor and walk down the hall to their room where the dim and shadowed lights follow their steps like vultures.

Carrick holds open the door for her and she enters, taking in the windows and the striking view of Boston skyline peeking behind the curtains, the TV and the queen-sized bed. The latter does nothing to assuage the anticipation that’s bubbling in the pit of her stomach, by the way.

Claire hears him shut the door, locking both bolts. She peers at him over her shoulder, half-turned, one eye on him. Their eyes meet, neither speaks. He’s taking off his black peacoat, back against the door, he’s looking at her as if wanting her is his full-time occupation and the realizations comes in like a mule kick, how that tiny voice inside her head, the one that tells her that this is a bad idea and she’s better off leaving never comes.

The room is not considerably huge (with $110 per night, you would have expected you’d get a bigger room), he could easily have her in six large steps, yet he stands there. Sizing her up, smirking rather devilishly, handsomely as if challenging her to make the first move. It’s another fucking game with him. A display of power, waiting who would fall first.

Claire finally turns around to face him. With a renowned determination, she removes her coat, letting it fall unceremoniously onto the carpeted floor. Her blouse follows next and her skirt, which she tugs it oh so slowly down her legs.

Carrick’s eyes widen, if she doesn’t know better, she thinks he’s speechless. He takes a deep breath, his gaze religiously following every movement as she twirls around once more to unhook her bra. His jaw clenches and unclenches. He’s having a hard time keeping himself in check which she takes an immense pleasure in. Claire just wants to see the man squirm for a change, even if she has to shed every article of clothing she wears.

By the time she slips off of her underwear, she is breathing raggedly. He hasn’t yet approached her so she crawls onto the bed, lying on her back with one elbow props her up, legs crossed. She kicks off her heels, rolls down her stockings with a bit of that noir come-hither, Lauren Bacall-esque heavy bedroom eyes.

Finally, Carrick steps closer until he’s only a hair’s breadth away, like a target, filling her line of sight. The tension in the room is hot enough to send the thermometer reaching its maximum limit and she’s burning, burning, burning right through the core.

Claire cranes her head up to meet his gaze, noticing the way he’s drinking in her body like a pirate ogling a bottle of rum. High-strung, tense, Carrick lowers his head to her, his fingers carding through her long hair. Dimness consumes him raw, his silhouette is starting to find its place amongst the shadows except for his eyes. Never does the fire in his eyes falter, merely alight.

They are already nose-to-nose when Claire suddenly raises her hand over his lips. He withdraws from her, looking confused and hot and bothered.

“Take a seat over there, will you?” She motions to the settee near the bed, her tone leaving no room for argument.

He smirks, but she can see his bravado if faltering. “Ordering me around in the bed now, are we?”

“Didn’t you say tonight is about you making it up to me?”

“Touche, touche.” Carrick straightens his posture and makes his way to the settee across from her, shifting uncomfortably in his seat given the growing issue in his pants.

With eyes still trained to his, Claire cups her own breast, fingers pinching her pebbled nipple before the same hand travels lower down her stomach, her thighs. Carrick leans forward in his seat, obviously liking where this is going before Claire slowly and teasingly part her legs for him to see.

A surprised groan escapes him.

“Jesus, Claire,” Carrick hisses. “Fuck, I didn’t know you’re a goddamn tease.”

She doesn’t bother replying to him, but a winning grin finds its way across her face as she lays on her back, her shame and modesty are distant, knees pulled up so he can have a clear view of her. With two fingers, she runs them along her folds, dragging them slowly up to her clit. Claire imagines they are his fingers- which once upon a time would have horrified her, but tonight, as she repeats the motion over and over, knowing that he’s sitting there, watching her without being able to get his hands on her, she decides to submit to this newfound fantasy.

A rustle pulls her back to reality. He’s undoing his own pants, palming his cock, runs his fingers over the leaking head.

A low moan catches in her throat at that, her gaze snapping up from his erection to his face where his irises have darkened and pupils dilated. He wants to show her, that’s he’s as depraved as her when it comes to wanting, that he fucking wants her and in spades and she fails to think like a normal human being anymore.

Claire uses that image to work on herself harder, faster, feeling the intense pressure beginning to build beneath her fingers. She’s so wet now, despite him being able to see that, she wants him to hear it as well as she uses her idle hand to tap against herself. Carrick growls, his pace matching the rhythm she’s setting.

She slips her fingers inside her, drops her head back against the mattress and bites a loud moan that threatens to escape her lips. Flushing scarlet all over her abdomen, her breasts and up to her neck. Her blood thumping louder than bombs in her ears, her breaths begin to come in gasps.

Another fast and hard thrust from fingers, and Claire finds herself sighing his name.

“Tobias…”

And every last bit of his self-restraint snaps.

In just a blink of an eye, Carrick is already on his feet, grabs her waist, harshly, and tugs her down onto the edge of the bed where he’s now kneeling before her. He doesn’t bother with the teasings or soft kisses or caresses, and even before Claire has the time to register what’s happening, he crushes his face between her parted legs and eats her out.

She gasps, high and fleeting, twisting the bed sheet between her fists while his tongue flicks over her, moving back up, back down, lapping along her folds in the same motions she showed him with her hand, how she likes it. Claire forgets how to breathe. It just occurs to her just how arousing the sight of him on his knees like this, sending her mind hitchhiking into outer space.

“Oh, fuck.” She breathes, back arching on the bed with a drawn-out moan. “Fuck, Tobias!” Her hips gyrate over his mouth and she presses her heels against his shoulder blades. She’s so close. All she needs is a little push to send her careening into oblivion and it seems that Carrick can sense it because he brings two digits to her entrance and slides easily inside her, setting a ruthless pace.

With her hands reaching out to the back of his head, Claire cries out his name and trembles violently. Encouraged, Carrick curves his fingers inside her, hitting that exact spot that finally undoes her as she comes, long and hard, around his mouth and fingers- the kind of orgasm that you can feel deep in your bones- and watches as fireworks dance behind her lids.

When she finally comes down from her high, everything is hazy. It’s like waking up from a deep slumber after a decadent soak in a scented bath and she loses all orientation, until she feels him nipping the inside of her thighs. She hisses, glances down, heavy-lidded eyes finding Carrick is leaving bruises after bruises all over her skin like some kind of a lewd memento of his work, like he wants her to remember this the next time she wakes up in her own bed and he’s not there.

"Are you trying to turn me into a Na'vi, doctor?” She asks, still kinda breathless, feeling surprisingly conversational despite having just experienced, if not, one of the best orgasms in her life. He smiles against her thigh and withdraws from her, only after her thighs are sufficiently bruised enough, licks his fingers clean and stands up at the end of the bed.

“Maybe. You’d make a cute blue extraterrestrial creature, though,” he replies cheekily, then undoes the button of his shirt, showcasing his naked torso.

Claire feels her cheeks heating up again, but forces herself to stare; eyes following his pectoral muscles, down to the toned lines of his abdomen while he slides off of his pants. The man is one fine specimen, alright, and he knows- smug bastard- and she thinks it’s such a shame that Carrick is… well, Carrick. If the man learns how to shut up for one minute or avoid trying to sabotage everyone’s career at Edenbrook altogether, maybe, just maybe, she’d consider him.

“But honestly, I just wanted to hear you say my name again,” Carrick continues, crawling his way up to her, pulling her out of her musings. He settles between her thighs. His lips finding her ear and nibbling at the lobe while his fingers pinching and pulling at her nipple. Claire shivers. Nails scraping along his skin, raising angry marks that would certainly be there tomorrow.

When they kiss, it’s so good that she can’t help but curl her toes. He kisses her like he’s trying to steal her breath or her name. She can taste herself in his mouth, which sparks so many feelings inside her. Her mind’s foggy, sweat pooling on her forehead. Carrick is but shoves his tongue into her mouth, lapping at her, biting, sucking and she leans hard into the kiss, retaliates by scraping her teeth against his bottom lip. It spurs him on. Making his cock twitch against her thigh and Claire decides she can’t wait anymore.

Claire rolls her hips at him. He takes the hint and rolls over to grab a condom from his pants. Then he’s back on top of her, his weight and heat crushing her most deliciously and brings her body further up the bed with him; she drapes her legs around his hips, hands gripping his arms. Her lust and anticipation collaborate to the point of near madness.

Carrick nips the taut line of her jaw and drives himself into her.

They both groan in unison.

“Oh, fuck.” Carrick mumbles between shaky breaths, his face pressed against her throat. “Fucking hell, Claire, you feel so warm.”

Claire, on the other hand, goes rigid under him. Her mouth hangs open and her world narrows down to the feeling of his cock inside her and the pleasure that builds up again in her abdomen.

This is happening, she thinks, he’s inside her and it feels so amazing. She might as well be crazy for agreeing to do this with him in the first place, but the promise of the thrill beats the doubts.

He starts slow, just the smallest fraction of hips, gently thrusting back and forth in shallow motions. She whines, frustrated and impatient, raising her own hips to meet his, but Carrick’s weight pins her onto the mattress and she can’t fucking move.

“F-faster,” Claire stammers, her molars grinding like toothache.

The bastard smirks, like he’s been anticipating the word coming out of her mouth.

“Beg for it.” His words are punctuated with every unhurried stroke he’s giving her, teasing her and if she’s not in the middle of being fucked right now, she would have kicked him in the balls.

Growling, she swallows her plea by pulling Carrick down for another kiss. This time, she’s the one who does the biting and the sucking, making sure he’s distracted enough and then just like with all the things she does in her life, she takes the matter into her own hands.

With all her strength, she scrambles up, pushes him off of her and knocks him onto his back flat on the bed. When she swings her legs to straddle him, his eyes pop.

“Holy shit, you are feisty.”

“Only cause I’m angry and horny,” she bites off. Angling herself above him and with one hand, guides his shaft back to her opening. “And you- you weren’t doing a proper job fucking me.”

He smirks. “I was trying to wind you up.”

“Fuck you.”

She lowers herself and sinks back onto his cock, relishing in his moans and growls.

“Baby, you’re doing it.” His hands curling around her waist, his head falls back onto the bed, exposing his throat and Claire is so hard-pressed not to bite him there.

Claire ignores his smartassness, naturally, and lifts herself, drops back down. Slamming her hips into his until she’s bouncing on him. Nails clawing at his chest. Finally be able to set a pace she desperately craves for, finally wiping that smirk off of his face.

Under her, Carrick is biting his lip in an effort to not to lose control. His hands are everywhere now; her stomach, her breasts, her neck, her cheeks. Leaving fire on its wake. She might still hate him after this is strange, little arrangement is over but at this juncture, he’s exactly the remedy she needs after everything.

Then Carrick wraps his arms around her and picks up the pace, thrusting into her hard and fast. Claire shakes. She can’t catch her breath, her forehead pressed on his shoulder, her teeth latching onto his skin. Breathing a string of 'fuckfuckfuck’ while he squeezes her ass and continues to fuck her with careless abandon.

"Tobias.” Her moans amplify. She’s close to climaxing again, her legs quivering. Eyes wide shut. “Please, please.” So much for not begging.

He pulls her to him so their foreheads meet. Their lips brush against each other, but they aren’t kissing, merely trading breaths. A hand touches her cheek and her lids flutter open, finding his eyes- those depthless, amber eyes that pretty much lead her to this point, are watching her, pulling her in.

“Say it again,” he encourages darkly, face twists in pleasure. “My name. Say it again.”

She does it again, it comes out as a groaned whisper, repeating it over and over again like a sacred mantra.

Her second orgasm sweeps through her, making her spine arches, it tears a winded moan from her throat and it’s more than enough to trigger Carrick’s own release; fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips, groaning gutturally.

Panting, sore but sated, Claire collapses on top of his chest, his arm still drapes around her. The rise and fall of his breath lull her to sleep. Before she knows it, he gently rolls her to his side, pulling the covers for them and kisses her on the shoulder, which comes out as… odd for her.

The bed moves and she feels him leaving.

He’s leaving.

He’s leaving.

She doesn’t know why it stings, but it does. But also Claire opts not to pay no mind to it and forces her mind to surrender to sleep that once again tries to take hold.

Claire wishes she doesn’t dream of him that night, but she does.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s way past midnight when she wakes up. The room is dark. The curtains are closed. She’s still naked and sore under the covers, mind reeling in from what has just transpired.

One might ask in which universe does Claire Castelnuovo agree to sleep with Tobias Carrick? Well, apparently they did it in this one and oddly still, she doesn’t regret it. Though she’s still low-key sad that he left her straight after sex, but hey, what can she do about it? This arrangement itself is nothing but a means to an end, anyway, a perverse alternative for him to pay back what he allegedly owes her, she shouldn’t be surprised if he left after the ‘debt’ is paid.

Feeling her mood somehow takes an unexpected dip, she gets us from the bed and gathers her clothes on the floor.

She’s in the middle of zipping up her skirt when the bedside lamp flickers and comes on.

Claire turns around. Carrick, rousing from sleep, looks at her, rubbing his eyes and stifles a yawn. His lips still tinged from her kisses and bites.

“Leaving so soon?” he asks, voice still raspy from sleep and Claire thinks her mouth is hanging open, standing rooted to the spot like a spider on an icicle; frozen in time.

For a moment, she does nothing but stares at him, being rendered speechless. For many times, Tobias Carrick never fails to surprise her. Just when she thinks she has him all figured out, he comes sneaking in through her windows like a thief in the night and it just strikes her, how he really is an uncharted territory for her. Despite her having him pinned under her, exploring the hard planes of his body under the touches just a few hours ago.

The man is like a fucking myth, at this point. She knows him only from stories and her limited time around him, but who is exactly Tobias Carrick? Is he the competitive doctor at Mass Kenmore, the Machiavellian asshole that severed his friendship/relationship with Ethan for the sake of his greed and ambition? Or is he, Tobias Carrick, the man who saves her life, makes her laugh and kisses her shoulder in the afterglow?

She’ll probably never know.

“Yeah, my roommates will probably deploy a search party if I don’t come home tonight,” she replies, distracted, finally finding her own voice back. He nods, feigning disappointment- or is he not? She clears her throat and continues putting on her clothes. “I thought you left.”

He chuckles at the absurdity of her deduction. “And without saying goodbye?” Carrick rolls off of the bed and rises to his feet. He’s already wearing his pants- thank fuck for that- and approaches her. “I may be an asshole, Castelnuovo, but just so you know, my mother raised me better than that.”

So they’re back to their usual last name basis perimeter. That’s good, right? After all of this, she thinks a little familiarity would be nice for her sanity.

“Good to know, then.”

Silence encompasses the room. It’s awkward and overwhelming and it throws her a little off-balance. At the bar, they seemed to know exactly what to say to each other- especially him; but now, even she can sense the hesitation in his gait, at the way he’s looking at her and a faint alarm is trilling her head. Because if he’s making this awkward, she can do a whole lot of worse.

"Oh, before you ask, that makes up for pretty much everything, yeah. I mean, it’s alright.” You fucking dumbass, she thinks to herself, averting his gaze while a smile blooms on his face.

“Good to know, then.” He parrots her words and she huffs a laugh, freely and sweetly, like she’s currently not knee-deep in her problems or she’s just fucked the most incorrigible man that ever exists. He does too, but his gaze lands on her mouth before going back to her eyes.

Another silence passes. It’s time to go.

“I have to go now.”

He nods mutely and moves away so Claire can step past him.

She wears her coat. In the mirror, she still looks thoroughly fucked; her hair’s dishevelled, she smells like him now, but she really needs to go. She promises herself that this will be a one time thing because, Jesus fuck, she’s supposed to be smarter than this. She’s not fifteen anymore, and this is not the summer where she can watch the sunset from the cornfields with her cousins even though his eyes possess the same color.

Yet she walks toward the door in a daze, like she’s forgetting something but can’t pinpoint what it is.

“Can I-”

“Hey, do you-”

She stops, mid-turning, and closes her mouth. She doesn’t realize she’s interrupting him.

“Oh, sorry,” Claire says, embarrassed. “You go first, it’s alright.”

“Can I have your number?” he asks, uncharacteristically hesitant.

She thinks he’s joking or maybe he’s just feigning interest, but one look at his eyes and she can tell that this isn’t smoke and mirrors.

The eyes, chico. They never lie. It’s dumb, but that line from Scarface is the first thing that comes to her mind. That’s why when she hands him her phone, her hand is shaking slightly. She has to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning like a maniac.  

Claire takes a cursory glance at her phone once he returns it. He saved his number solely as t.c. with the water drop, the syringe, the ghost, the eggplant, the firework emoji and she chuckles endearingly, questioning the universe how he can easily get both a rise and a laugh out of her.

“I’ll text you?” Carrick asks again and she nods a little too enthusiastically at it, but what the hell?

“Sure.”

“Alright.” He takes one look at her, steps closer and for a moment, she thinks he might be going to kiss her.

“Goodnight, Claire,” Carrick says instead and she nods, admitting the fact that he’s not going to do it.

“Goodnight to you too, Tobias.” Then pauses at the doorway, feeling surprisingly bold. “I gotta give it to you, though, for someone who’s become the bane of my existence for months, you’re a damn good lay.”

He barks out a laugh, obviously, that Claire can hear all the way down the hall. And she thinks she can get used to the sound.

                                                         fin.

Tag list: @villain-fuckarooni @beckaroo @arfeiniel​ @this-person-is-busy @colossalpainintheass​ @drethanramslay @hatescapsicum @theeccentricbibliophile

[ryiafaye]

Eating Disorder Questions

1. When did you eating disorder begin?

2012 (I was 17)

2. What is your earliest related memory?

I started a food journal and weighing myself. Didn’t like how high the number was. Before that I had some body image issues related to puberty but ate whatever I wanted.

3. Favorite safe foods?

Non fat yogurt, berries, rice cakes

4. Favorite safe meal?

Coconut milk and low cal cereal (rice crispies or cheerios)

5. How do you handle hard days?

Not sure that this means but when I’m upset I either sleep, watch tv/read, or use harmful behaviors.

6. sw/cw/hw/ugw

147/142/152/ as low as possible but at least 108

7. How do you comfort yourself after a binge?

Purge or fast, I used to also burn myself.

8. What type of ED do you have?

I’ve had anorexia (b/p subtype), bulimia, and BED at different times. Right now mostly restricting and binging/purging occasionally.

9. When did you realize you had an ED?

Not sure but I remember when I started purging I realized it wasn’t just a “diet”.

10. Do you have any recovery tips?

Meal plans (healthy ones preferably made by a dietitian) are great for learning what normal portions are again. For starting recovery: a good pros/cons list and reflecting on everything your ED has taken from you. Also having at least one person to be accountable to, especially a professional if you have access to that.

11. Does anyone know about your ED?

Pretty much all of my friends and family. It’s hard to hide it when you’ve been in treatment so much.

12. What is an embarrassing ED related story you have?

Once when I was drunk with friends (really drunk, like I can barely remember everything) I started feeling nauseous and said in front of everyone “don’t worry, I used to be bulimic” (at the time I still was) then proceeded to purge in the bathroom with the door open. Also multiple occasions of shitting myself due to laxatives (no one knows about that).

13. Longest fast?

41hrs only drinking water and coffee

14. Do you have any other ED communities?

Yes, on Instagram

15. Have you recovered/relapsed before?

Yes, multiple times.

16. Favorite safe outfit?

Leggings and a baggy tshirt or hoodie.

17. Do you smoke?

Yes, nicotine

18. Coffee or tea?

I am a coffee addict but I like tea too

19. Diet soda or energy drinks?

I have never liked soda but I’m currently addicted to energy drinks.

20. Biggest sweet tooth craving/binge food?

Donuts or other pastries

21. Something you want to tell about your ED but you’ve never had the chance.

Not sure...maybe that I feel like I’ll never 100% recover. I’ve told at least one person everything else.

22. Best words of advice/love/experience to other ppl with EDs?

Recovery does get easier, though it sucks at first. Living with an ED isn’t really living, you deserve better. Things really are darker/less enjoyable when you’re sick.

23. Do you have a partner? If so do they know about you ED?

No, I’m single. My last S.O. was a huge cause of a very bad relapse a few years ago and I’m still healing from his abuse.

24. Do you want to recover?

I’ve been actively trying to recover for the last year. I don’t want to lose the life I’ve built for myself in that time, but relapse is so tempting.

25. Do you actually enjoy working out?

I’ve never really liked formal exercise (like things you do at the gym) but there are other things I like doing, mainly caring for and riding horses (I own two horses, help at the barn, and compete). I also like hiking.

26. Do you smoke?

Already asked that

27. If you smoke weed, do you get the munchies?

I only smoke cigarettes and vape

28. What is the thing you miss most that your ED has taken from you?

Finishing college and getting my license as a LVT and my dream job

29. Have you worked on your ED in therapy?

Yes, extensively

30. Have you ever been caught mid ED behavior? (Binging, purging etc)

Not exactly, except purging while inpatient, but I’ve had people question me right after using a behavior.

31. Do you eat healthy or not?

I don’t strictly eat “clean” but I don’t just eat junk. Mostly it’s just the amount of calories something has.

32. Does your ED affect your sex life/sexuality?

When I’ve been underweight my libido decreases which I don’t really mind.

33. What is your favorite unhealthy but safe food?

Low calorie popsicles and certain crackers/chips. I’ll eat anything in small quantities if it fits into my calorie limit.

34. What is one of your most obscure fears brought on by your ED?

Not sure. I used to think people thought I was ugly, now I’m just afraid they think I’m fat.

35. Least favorite part of your body?

Chest, stomach, hips, thighs, cheeks

36. Favorite part of your body?

Eyes, hair, arms, and wrists

37. Do you have a fast metabolism?

I don’t think so, at least not as fast as it used to be.

38. Dumbest weight loss advice you’ve ever gotten.

Not sure, no one has ever given me “advice”, it’s more of what I’ve over heard people saying. I think people that don’t understand that calories in/calories out matters more than what type of food you eat.

39. Do you try to practice body neutrality or positivity? How?

Body neutrality has helped my in the past. Mostly focusing on what my body can do rather than how it looks.

40. How do you handle ED related nausea, fatigue, sickness, weakness?

I avoid a lot of it by eating small amounts throughout the day and not fasting. I used to be able to fast a lot but don’t anymore cause I don’t want to feel like shit at work. Oh and I abuse caffeine to combat fatigue.

41. What was the moment you realized you had an ED?

Already asked

42. What food do you miss the most?

It’s less about the food and more about how I miss being able to eat without feeling guilty.

[junkutie]

changes | b.yedam

genre: fluff

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none

request: yes <3

summary: y/n starts to see her best friend in a different light.

“Hello?” You say as you balance your phone between your shoulder and cheek while trying to gather your books together for the day ahead of you.

“Did you do the History homework?” Your best friend Yedam answers frantically.

“Yes, I did.” You tell him as you roll your eyes, “and yes you can copy it.”

“You’re amazing.” Yedam breathes out.

“I know,” you mumble as you pick up the last book you need, “how far are you?” You ask as you make your way out of your room.

“Leaving my house now.” He tells you and you sigh, getting ready to moan at him, “I’ll be there soon I promise.”

Yedam hangs up before you can say anything else and you shake your head, if you weren’t friends with Bang Yedam you would definitely be more punctual than you are now. Knowing that he is still making his way you now have time for breakfast, so you quickly pour a bowl of cereal for yourself to eat while you wait for Yedam.

When you and your best friend eventually make it onto the school grounds you hear the final bell ring and you sigh loudly shoving Yedam’s shoulder.

“You made us late again.” You say, annoyed.

“I’ll see you in History,” Yedam yells over his shoulder, already running towards the building so that he can get to his first class of the day.

“You better not lose my homework.” You shout as you begin running as well.

When you get home from school the first thing you do is flop onto your bed, exhausted and the next thing you know, you’re jolted awake by the dream you’re having. When you eventually get out of bed, your mind is still groggy from sleep and when you make your way to your window you notice that its dark outside. You let out a sigh and decide to start on your homework however after about fifteen minutes of working you’re interrupted by your phone ringing. When you glance at the caller ID you immediately smile.

“Yedam.” You say, as you put him on speaker.

“Y/n.” He says back in the same tone.

“What’s up?” You ask as you carry on with the worksheet in front of you.

“Nothing really,” he tells you, “I just finished my History homework.”

“Really?” You question, “I never thought I would hear you say that.”

Yedam laughs at your comment, “I’m doing my homework now.” You tell him.

“Why so late?” Your best friend mumbles.

“I fell asleep after school.” You reply.

For the next hour or so you focus on your homework, Yedam is still on the phone but he is staying quiet so that you can concentrate. This sort of thing happens all the time, whether it be a phone call or facetime, you do your own thing while your best friend does his. The two of you like knowing that you are near to one another even if its through a phone.

When your homework is done you pick up your phone and sit down on your bed, you and Yedam talk about everything that happened at school today and more.

“We are going to be late again tomorrow.” Yedam sighs, “It’s already two in the morning.”

“Oh well,” you sigh, “goodnight.”

“Night y/n.” Yedam says before hanging up.

At lunch the next day you slouch into the empty space that is always left by your other friends next to Yedam and yawn loudly. You place the chicken salad you have just bought from the cafeteria on the tabletop in front of you and reach into your backpack to pull out your water bottle, you don’t even notice Yedam slide your salad so that it’s in front of him.

“I can’t believe you do that for her every time,” Haruto laughs as he nudges your best friends’ shoulder with his own.

You furrow your brow, not understanding what Haruto is referring too but realization hits you when you see Yedam picking out all of the raw onion from your salad. Its something he has always done for you, when you get food whether it be at a restaurant, at school or even at home, if Yedam notices onions he will immediately slide your plate closer to him and start taking each piece out one by one. He does it so often that you don’t even notice anymore, you will just wait patiently for your food to appear in front of you again and then you will start eating it.

“Thank you,” you mumble when you see your salad again, this time free of all onions.

Yedam just shakes his head, and you take a bite not noticing the cheeky grin Yedam is getting from Haruto and your other friends at the table.

“Are we still on for after school?” Yedam asks you before you begin walking to your next class after lunch.

“Of course,” you grin, “I’ll see you later.”

You turn away from the boy and Lia immediately throws one of her arms around your shoulder as the two of you make your way to the Biology Lab, she sends you a smirk and you raise your eyebrows not knowing what else to do.

“So, what’s going on between you and Yedam?” She asks after a few moments.

“What do you mean?” You question, confused.

“I think he likes you,” she sings, pulling you closer to her body almost strangling you in the process.

“I think your crazy.” You laugh, pulling away from her uncomfortable hug.

“Seriously?” She deadpans.

You just look at her, dumbfounded, not having a single clue where these comments are coming from. You and Yedam have been best friends forever and nothing is going to change that, he doesn’t like you and you don’t like him, end of story.

“Don’t tell me you don’t notice the way he looks at you y/n.” Lia presses, she looks shocked.

“I have no idea what’s gotten into you,” you shake your head, “but Yedam and I are just friends.”

Lia opens her mouth to begin arguing with you, but you stop her by shaking your head and telling her that you don’t want to talk about it anymore. Your friend rolls her eyes but thankfully doesn’t press you any further and the two of you eventually make it to the Lab and find your seats before the lesson starts.

You grin at Yedam when you see him standing at the schools’ front gate waiting for you, he smiles back at you and you two greet each other quickly before you fall into step with one another and slowly make your way back home.

“I think we should make a cake.” Yedam tells you on the way to your house.

“Okay,” you laugh, “what’s the occasion?”

The boy just shrugs, “I feel like cake.”

You shake your head and carry on laughing at your friend’s random request but agree anyway, who can say no to cake.

After throwing flower at Yedam, getting egg yolk in your hair and almost burning your fingers off trying to bake the cake its eventually out of the oven and surprisingly it looks pretty good. You hand Yedam a fork and sit down next to him before the two of you dig in, not even cutting it into slices first.

“I had a weird dream last night,” Yedam mumbles, breaking the silence.

“What was it about?” You reply, eyes not moving from the cake.

Yedam is quiet for a while before he tells you, “we got married.”

When those words leave your friends mouth your first reaction is to laugh, so you do.

“That’s crazy.” You manage to get out through your laughter.

Yedam doesn’t say anything more but begins to laugh with you, and the two of you move on as if nothing happened and why wouldn’t you, he is your friend, nothing like that would ever happen between the two of you.

That night you lay awake in bed, not being able to fall asleep and because of this your mind begins to wonder and your thoughts move like lightning through your head however, when your thoughts move to Yedam they slow down significantly and everything that happened today hits you hard. First Harutos comment and suggestive looks towards Yedam, then Lia talking about how he looks at you and lastly the boy himself having a dream about the two of you getting married.

“Does he like me?” You whisper, frowning slightly.

“Do I like him?” You gasp when the thought of him liking you sends butterflies into your stomach.

You squeeze your eyes shut and turn over forcing yourself to fall asleep so that you don’t have to think about Yedam anymore, you can deal with your feelings in the morning.

For the next couple of days, you begin to notice the small things that Yedam does for you all the time, the things that you normally wouldn’t even notice. However now, when he does these things you feel your heart beat faster and your cheeks become warm. You notice how he always places the palm of his hand against your back when you are walking down a set of stairs because you often stumble down them. You notice that on your walks home from school he will take your backpack and carry it for you because he can tell you are tired. You notice how he is always smiling when you are talking, even if you are not talking to him. You notice that he always chooses strawberry flavoured milk for himself even though is favourite flavour is chocolate so that you can share it with him because you love strawberries. All of these things make you question your feelings towards Yedam, and suddenly you don’t know if you only see him as a friend anymore.

“Are you okay?” Yedam asks, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” You mumble, trying to focus on the movie you guys are watching.

After a few moments your mind becomes flooded with thoughts of Yedam once again and he notices that you aren’t paying attention to the movie anymore, so he pauses it.

“Are you okay y/n?” Your friend asks you again, “it’s like you’ve been on another planet for the last couple of days.”

“I’m sorry,” you sigh loudly, “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Yedam says, “do you want to talk about it?”

Glancing over at the boy sitting next to you, you notice the kind smile that is covering his features and your heart melts. You don’t understand how you have suddenly developed these feelings for your best friend in a matter of days, but you have, and not telling him is becoming unbearable. You have never kept anything from Yedam, you talk to him about everything.

“I don’t know if I can talk about it Yedam.” You groan, burying your face into the palms of your hands.

“Why not?” He asks and you can tell by the tone of his voice that he is hurt by your comment.

“Because its about you.” You say, face still in your hands.

“I don’t understand.” Your friend tells you.

You stay silent for a while and you eventually move your hands away from your face however you don’t look at Yedam. You are thankful that he hasn’t said anything more but you have no idea how you are going to avoid this conversation because you can’t really take back what you’ve said and you can’t move on as if nothing happened because it will only cause a fight.

“I think I like you.” You mumble, still not looking at him.

You regret your words as soon as they come out of your mouth because there is no going back now. You know that you have probably taken his kindness the wrong way but there is a very small sliver of hope in your heart that is telling you that he likes you back. Your head on the other hand is telling you that you are crazy for thinking that he likes you because he has never done anything to make you think so, all he has done is acted like a kind friend.

“Well I know I like you.” Yedam says, breaking the silence.

You move your head to look at him so quickly that you almost get whiplash in the process, your eyes are wide, and your mouth is hanging open.

“C-can you say that again please?” You ask, not quite sure if you heard him correctly.

“I like you y/n.” Yedam repeats, he has a huge smile plastered on his face.

As you begin to process his words a smile makes its way onto your lips as well, you let out a breathy chuckle of disbelief before you lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck pulling him into a hug. When you pull away a wave of awkwardness rushes over you.

“What do we do now?” You whisper.

Yedam laughs and you hit his arm. “Well,” he says, “now I can call you my girlfriend and I get to kiss you.”

You feel you face heat up at his words and you can’t stop smiling, everything is about to change, and you aren’t apposed to it at all.

“So how long do I have to wait?” You ask, sending Yedam a shy smile.

“For what?” He questions, looking confused.

“For you to kiss me.” You tell him.

Yedams’ frown morphs into a grin and he immediately leans forward to press his lips against yours.

[ciggylungz]

High school

Butterflies and bandaids-

Chapter 2: High school

Y/N has never been more nervous for a first day of school in her life. High school, gag. Today is something she's been nervous about yet highly anticipating since she was little, partly to blame on movies glorifying high school when both her older siblings, and her best friend sing a different tune about it.

And that lands them where they are now, Harry sitting on his best friends bed eating a bowl of cereal he snagged from her kitchen, her mom topping him off with some milk while he made his way up to her room.

She's nervously tugging at her clothes in the mirror while making little upset noises, turning to the older boy with a nervous frown

"Do I look ok h?" She tugged on her shirt a bit and he nodded while chewing, speaking with his mouth full

"Look fine love, we all have the same uniform, we literally all look the exact same dont worry about it." he'd managed to swallow while talking and she nodded still uneasy

"But I feel like I look dumb in it.."

"We all look dumb in it, it's ugly. You pull it off well though love, blazer's a little loose but other than that you look great" He gave her a smile and she nodded sitting next to him on her bed to put her shoes on and he blew into her hair

"Curls are tickling my face girl, watch where you swing them might end up making me sneeze into them" he chuckled at his own joke and she rolled her eyes at him in the mirror.

"Cmon gimme a smile Y/N, don't be so nervous sweetheart I'm gonna be there, I'll make sure you're ok, swear by it." He held his pinky out to her and locked them together, doing their handshake before he gets up, cracking his back and grabbing his bowl taking it downstairs both of the teens going into the small downstairs bathroom to brush their teeth, Harry having his own toothbrush there since he practically lives at their house.

Y/N nervously followed Harry as they started walking to the school fiddling with his blazer sleeve as they walked , only when he cast a glance down at her did he realize how scared she looked, he knew his girl was shy but she'd never been so nervous to go somewhere before causing him to halt and gently hold her cheeks, pouting when he saw her glossy eyes, tisking and dabbing the corner of her eyes

"Relax, breathe...there you go, Dont panic Yn, it's a half day anyway just 3 hours, you'll be alright I swear and we can hangout after and watch movies, Can even get some snacks on the way back" she'd let out a deep breath and nodded

" I'm sorry...get so nervous...been trying to work on it, probably should have asked mom for one of my xanax Cus I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack" he just rubbed her back gently

"You'll be ok, cmon just 3 hours" he reminded her as he took her hand and guided her into the building.

••

Three hours came and went and soon the pair was reunited outside at the school fencing, Y/N smiling when she sees the much taller boy approaching her and he gave her one right back

"Ahh there's my girl! See I told you, piece of cake. You nailed it love, proud of you" they did their handshake before he hugged her to his side, walking with her towards the little corner shop to get her the treats he promised

"Take your pick" he told her as they stood in her favorite isle, the candy isle, smiling as he watched her scrunch her freckled nose up and nibble her lip as she thought about it, they both already knew what she'd pick, yet she always thought about alternatives even when she knew they didn't have a chance, picking up her usual, a pack of bubble gum and a little baggies of cherry candies she likes, smiling at he pays for them and hands her the little packages kissing her head as they both chew a piece on the way home.

The boy absentmindedly spit his piece in the street as they approached her house earning a immediate halt from his best friend

"Harry! I told you, don't spit gum on the ground a bird will eat it and die!" She exclaimed rather passionately and he groaned

"Sorry sorry, forgot" he stuck his tongue out as he picked the gum off the cement and wrapped it up tossing it in the trash, earning a smile from her

"Good boy" she patted his cheek and he rolled his eyes and pushed her hand away

"You sound like my mom, cmon I wanna watch movies before the monsters get home from school, how does your mom handle 6 kids? Miley literally BITES!"

"Harry she's teething, she's a baby"

"She's feral" he muttered making both of them laugh as she unlocks the door tossing her bag on the couch and slipping her shoes off, both of them making the haul up the stairs towards her room

"Gonna change, you have clothes here to change into ,put them in the third drawer mom just did wash" she motioned to her dresser as she pulled out a pair of pajama shorts and one of the oversized hoodies her brother had given her with his university name on it, stripping the tights off unaware of her best friends flickering glances at the girl literally stripping in front of him, innocently, yet he's a teenage boy he can't help himself sometimes.

He watched as she slid her skirt off, boy short style pale blue panties coming into his view, quickly covered with the sleep shorts, shirt off next showing her standard nude colored bra before she slid the hoodie on, putting some fuzzy socks on and flopping on her bed, pulling her phone out while he changed, forcing himself to think of dead puppies and old people so he didn't pop a stiffy over his best friend, they'd changed in front of each other since they were kids, his mom even gave them a bath together a few times when they were little and got dirty in the garden, but of course they were both little and innocent then...Yn didnt have the curve in her waist, the small yet perky breasts, the more filled out figure, hips and ass back then, yet she'd always been beautiful, he seems to find himself finding her more and more beautiful on the daily.

He changes quickly and crawls in bed with her plugging his phone in and leaning back into her yellow pillows, so comfortable in her rather girly room to even be worried about looking silly with her flower printed sheets and couple stuffed animals in the right corner against her headboard. The room is comforting and familiar, he could navigate it with his eyes closed, Thats how much time he's spent in here over the last 10 years of friendship.

She pulled her curly locks into a messy bun and tied her hoodie strings like she always did, grabbing her candy and the remote handing it to him while she pops open the bag, setting her phone down.

"So tell me about your first day love, what's the verdict?" She shifted the candy to her cheek and swallowed the bit of saliva that collected in her mouth

"Was ok...still a little scary, lot bigger than middle school, some older girls were being bitchy, I didn't appreciate that. Had science and English with some people I knew last year and met a girl named Penny and a boy named Elijah, they're very nice, Eli was very nice to me so I felt a little better." She crunched the Cherry snack between her molars as she finished talking and he hummed

"Wow, already finding new best friends are we?" He teased and she let out a breath through her nose

"Not a chance, you're my Harry. Could never replace you, wouldn't ever want to. Love you to bits" the young girl smiled at him and he smiled back, warmth crawling up his chest at her sweetness

"Love you more princess bubblegum, cmere gimme a cuddle while we watch something"

[foxyliftblr]

How to get the most out of your grocery hauls *NEW*

Hey guys! After looking through my popular posts, I realized that my grocery hauls and my “How to” tips were the highest out of all of my posts. I reread the “How to” and came to the conclusion that it needed to be reworked. I hope you enjoy the newly updated version! 1/31/20, 2/1/20

💖 Canned foods are the best way to maintain diversity and longevity to your pantry. There are soups, vegetables, fruits and even some meats. The expiration dates are usually 6mo/1 year if kept in optimal conditions. Different size cans hold different serving sizes.

TIP- Any canned food, usually soups that read “Condensed” will be a smaller can size with bigger serving sizes. (Easier to lift). The reason being is that, the can holds the main ingredients and you add in the water yourself.

💖 Frozen vegetable/fruits in bags. These are usually in big bags, and hold a decent amount of serving sizes. The bonus of frozen veg/fruits is that they last a very long time in your freezer, as compared to fresh veg/fruit that will go stale within a week. These last anywhere between 3-6mo.

💖 Lift individual ingredients, like flour, sugar, spices, bread, (rice!), butter, milk and cheese. These will stay a long time in your pantry, and provide basic ingredients for simple foods to be cooked at home.

TIP- Adding a small bit of flour to some soups will thicken the consistency, if the flavor profile changes too much add back in water or alternatively milk to thin it out.

💖 Lift seasonings, these can be already powdered seasonings or fresh ginger, and garlic. They are very small and easy to conceal even without a bag. All the food in the world still needs to taste good!

TIP- Fresh ginger and garlic lasts a very long time just sitting around, 1-4mo.

💖 If you are going to lift fresh veg/fruits, know when you are going to eat them within the week. EX: If you’re waiting to make guacamole on Sunday and it’s currently Monday. Lift 3 unripe avocados, and when Sunday rolls around, they will be ripe and ready. Do not waste your fresh ingredients because of spoiling!

TIP- Keep in mind that some veg/fruits spoil in different temperatures at different rates. Be careful where you place them after you’re home.

💖 Lift hard items in bulk. EX:If you have a hard time lifting cereal, go one day extra to another supermarket and grab them at once. This will save you the hassle of only grabbing one box when you can go another day and get more.

TIP- For the love of god, please lift cereal containers! They can make cereal last for months, instead of getting stale in a week! Even if you buy them, they are NOT expensive and will save you money in the long run. Please trust me!

💖Wait to lift junk, until your pantry is filled with essentials. You will be much happier with filling, healthier foods in your pantry rather than chips you’ll eat in one day.

💖 Lift from the outer perimeter of the supermarket, these will often be the freshest ingredients. Also look down to the bottom of store shelves for cheaper/better items. Companies pay a lot of money for the placement of their products to be at eye level.

💖 Know what to lift before you actually go. A simple grocery list with ingredients and scheduled recipes throughout the week will keep you in order.

There are many different methods to lifting, but the one that works the most in supermarkets is the “walkout” and “reusable bag” methods. They are very explanatory and can be easily searched. Make sure to switch up your supermarket with other locations, as well as times to make sure you will not get caught. A common rule of thumb is to lift from stores further away from your home. This is Incase you go to actually buy something and get recognized. I will of course update with more information as time goes on! I hope my updated version was more information and interesting this time around :)

Feast my angels! Stay Safe!

[watchmegetobsessed]

Different - Adam Sackler (pt. 4)

one last part is left, so exciting!!!

series summary: Hannah lets you move in with her and Adam as you are her second cousin and in need of a place to live. Your relationship with Adam starts rocky, but things soon seem to be taking a turn.

pairing: Adam Sackler x Reader

word count: 4.2k

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

masterlist

You sleep for fourteen hours straight, making it already noon when you wake up the next day. You feel like you’ve been hit on the head or like maybe you have a hangover, but it’s neither of those, you just had the most stressful day yesterday and as the thoughts crawl back to you the anxiety shakes through your body again.

You really did just make out with your second cousin’s boyfriend last night, officially winning the title of worst relative on planet Earth. You feel horrible, even disgusted by yourself and the fact that you have to face her now is just sickening. You deserve to be punched in the stomach at least.

As you walk out of your room you are met with a dead silent apartment, everyone is gone. You take a quick trip to the bathroom before heading to the fridge to find something to eat after your hibernation.

Just when you are about to pour cereal into a bowl the front door opens and a shirtless Adam walks in, probably back from his usual run. Both of you freeze for a moment seeing each other, given the circumstances of the last time you two interacted.

“Hey,” he softly says closing the door and stopping a few feet away from you.

“Hi,” you breathe out nervously.

“I feel like we definitely should talk,” he suggests and you just silently nod even though you have no idea what you want to tell him. You haven’t had the time to figure it all out. “Hannah went back to Iowa this morning,” he admits and you frown.

“Already?”

“Yes. Things hasn’t been… the best between us.”

You nod, curious where he is heading with what he wants to say, the new information about them slowly sinking in.

“This whole Iowa thing has taken a toll on us clearly and we both know. We haven’t said it out, but I’m pretty sure the next time we meet we’ll call it quits. This is not working and I don’t want to pretend like it is. I wanted to tell her this morning, but she was kind of in a hurry, saying that she forgot to hand some papers in, so I didn’t want to get into this conversation while she was on the run. But it’s gonna happen when she comes back, I just don’t want to do it on the phone either.”

It’s a lot at first and you just slowly nod as he walks a little closer, leaning against the counter, eyes focused on you.

“Look, I know guilt has been probably eating you up alive, so I definitely thought this is something you needed to know. And now that it’s out… we can talk about… about us.”

You stay silent a little longer, trying to find the words and Adam just patiently waits for you to speak up.

“What do you think about what happened last night?” you shyly ask. Things happened, but you never found out how he saw it all.

“I think it was the best fucking thing that has happened to me in a while,” he chuckles and his reply makes you smile. You were afraid he sees it in a different way, but now you are sure you’re on the same page.

“So you don’t regret it?”

“Not even a bit, no,” he shakes his head confidently. “Do you regret it?”

“A little,” you admit truthfully. “Because of Hannah.”

“I get that,” he nods. “It’s a complicated situation. But… I really want to give it a try. To give us a try.”

Chewing on his words you try to figure out what would be the best to do. After hearing how they are now with Hannah your guilt is still not completely gone, because regardless of all the problems they are having they are still technically a couple and he basically just cheated on her with you.

“I don’t want anything to happen until you are still with her.”

“But—“

“I know,” you cut him off already knowing what he wants to say. “But my conscience just wouldn’t able to live with it if anything happened before you called it quits officially. Even after, it’s a whole different story, because she is family, but at least I won’t feel like a cheating slut.”

Adam clearly doesn’t agree with you, but he respects your will, he understands your reasoning and he definitely doesn’t want you to suffer even more than what you already did.

“Alright. I can live with that,” he nods.

“So… friends until…?” you ask with a shy smile.

“Friends until we break up. Yeah,” he nods returning the smile. “Can I at least hug you?”

“Yeah, sure,” you chuckle and a moment later his long arms wrap around you, pulling you to his naked chest.

A part of your heart is aching that it’s not a grand romantic story, because the two of you started off the worst possible way, and now that these confessions have been finally made it’s still complicated and not what you imagined for yourself.

But you know one thing for sure: you are falling for Adam Sackler harder than you did for anyone in your life before.

Already thinking about the next steps to be taken, you start looking for a new place knowing well living with Hannah will never be an option. You just wouldn’t be able to look into her eyes even if she’ll know about everything and decide to forgive you.

“You could live with me,” Adam suggests one morning when the two of you are having breakfast together and you are checking out yet another apartment online.

“That’s not an option.”

“Why? We’ve been living together for months and it’s working out.”

“Yeah, but it would be different and I’m not ready for that.”

You can tell he doesn’t agree, but he keeps his thoughts to himself, he has been doing this a lot. The amount of patience he has been showing to you is just incredible, honestly. You were afraid this whole slowing down thing wouldn’t work out, but it did all thanks to Adam.

Looking up at him from your computer you see him deep in his thoughts as he drinks up the rest of his milk and you shut the laptop down leaning closer to him, putting a hand to his knee.

“Hey, this is not against you.”

“I know,” he nods.

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“I just… I keep wishing things weren’t this complicated.”

“Well, we can’t change the past, so let’s just… look forward. It’ll be okay,” you say squeezing his knee gently before returning to your breakfast.

Living with someone you know you’ll be romantically involved with very soon is just a situation you never thought you would face or that it even exists. You keep showing affection to each other in a very subtle way, tiny touches, secret looks, hidden smiles, but nothing crosses the line actually, you just both think about it, but don’t do it, making promises to the times when you’ll be actually able to do whatever you want.

One evening when Adam comes home from work you are on the couch, watching some random documentary on the TV.

“Hey,” he breathes out throwing his stuff into his room before joining you on the couch. Taking your feet he lifts them up and after sitting down he pulls them to his lap.

“How was the play today?” you ask with a tired smile.

“Good, almost messed up a line but it was alright.”

“Crazy I’ve never seen you on stage.”

“You want to?”

“Yeah, I’m interested what you’re like when you are not… you.”

Adam lets out a chuckle as his fingers start to gently work on your feet, massaging it like a professional. You hum at the feeling, sliding lower on the couch so your head is on the armrest.

“Is this a hint that you are into roleplaying?”

“What?” you chuckle with a frown.

“You said you want to know what it’s like when I’m not me. That’s what roleplaying is based on.”

“Yeah, but I was talking about acting, not about sex,” you say feeling yourself growing anxious about where this conversation is heading.

Talking about sex is always hard for you. You’ve never been that open about sex like you know Hannah is, the only person you’ve slept with is your ex-boyfriend and even with him, it took months for you to get comfortable enough to have sex. The whole topic just brings you a lot of anxiety you don’t know how to deal with, so most of the time you just try to avoid talking about it, but there are some cases when it’s not an option and you feel like this is slowly turning into one too.

Adam examines you curiously as you keep your eyes focused on the TV, trying to ignore his stare, but you can’t fool him.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” you shake your head, still not looking at him.

“Okay, then why are you so tensed suddenly?”

“I’m not tensed.”

“Y/N, we made a promise to be honest. This situation is fucked up enough already, we don’t need more bullshit in it.”

You bite down on your bottom lip, hating the fact that you can’t hide your feelings and thoughts. And also how he is right, you really did make a promise about that a few days after everything went down and now you are breaking it.

Peeking up at him your gaze meets his soft eyes as he rests his head against the back of the couch, waiting for you to speak up.

“Come on, you can tell me anything.”

“I just… hate talking about this.”

“About what? Sex?”

“Sort of,” you shortly nod.

“Why? Did something happen in the past that made you uncomfortable?”

“No,” you sigh shaking your head. “It’s just… it’s a touchy subject for me, I was never open about it. Intimacy doesn’t come easy for me and…”

You cut yourself off as the words form in your mind, but you realize you are afraid to say them out loud.

“Y/N, talk to me!” he pleads in a low voice and you let out a whiny sigh losing your patience with yourself and the whole situation.

“Adam, I’ve heard things about you before. I know how you and Hannah started off, the kinky stuff you’ve done and I’m just not like that. I’m anxious when it comes to sex because I honestly don’t have too much experience in it given the fact that I’ve only been with one person ever in my life and I definitely don’t feel comfortable with this whole… thing.”

He stares at you silently and you immediately feel judged and this is truly what you were trying to avoid, but here you are.

“I know you said it’s okay if we take things slow, but I’m… I’m afraid I’m too slow for you.”

Wording your fears you’ve been thinking about for a while now is scary, especially because as always, you can’t read his face and it’s driving you crazy. He is silent for longer than you’d like him to be, but then he finally speaks up.

“You know I’m an alcoholic, right?” he asks and for a moment you’re not sure if it’s a trap. He didn’t tell you this, you know this just like a lot of other stuff because Hannah likes to run her mouth. You nod your head shyly. “And did Hannah tell you about the fight we had about this whole kinky shit?”

“No.”

“Alright,” he nods, ready to tell you all about it. “Yes, I used to do weird shit when it came to sex, that’s just how I used to be. As long as I found someone who was willing to do it with me, I didn’t see it as a problem, because that was what kept me back from drinking. But then I started dating Hannah, a lot of shit went down and I changed. Just like everyone, I changed and my preferences changed with me. I didn’t need what I needed before, I didn’t have these elaborate fantasies, because… reality was enough for me. We had a fight about it, because she thought that it was her fault I’m not into those bullshit things anymore and I had to tell her that it’s all because I’ve matured and changed. My life is nothing like it was before, I’m in a way better place now and it sucks that people who knew about my shit back then can still judge me about it.”

You sit there in silence, soaking up every word that leaves his mouth and you feel slightly ashamed that you were so fast to judge him for something you heard months ago.

“I did enjoy doing fucked up shit during sex, but that was a long time ago. I don’t need that shit anymore to distract me, because I’m completely fine with just being with the person who I’m with. And that is you right now. I want to be with you, as me, not like someone else.”

You feel tears forming in your eyes and you wish you weren’t so easy to make cry. Adam grabs your ankle and pulls you closer, so your leg is across his thighs and he puts his hands to your hips leaning close to you.

“I can do slow, if that’s what you want. I’m okay with that. Because I just want to be with you and want to make you feel comfortable around me. I want to make you feel happy and secure.”

“Stop it,” you choke out chuckling lightly.

“Stop telling you the truth?” he smiles at you, giving your hipbones a light squeeze. You sit like that for a while, you sniffling a little as Adam just silently watches you. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I never talk about it,” you admit, but he shakes his head.

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to talk about it?” he repeats his question and you think for a moment before shrugging your shoulders.

“I guess I’m anxious because I don’t have experience. With Ben, my ex, I was always just… there for him. I mean we were basically kids when we got together, neither of us really knew what we were doing and we fell into a habit and it was mostly about… him. It sounds bad, I know.”

“It doesn’t, we all start off in an unsure way. You just got stuck with the same person and it made it harder for you to experience what you want, but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you less.”

“So you don’t think of me different, knowing that I’m unexperienced?” you shyly ask.

“Of course not,” he smiles tilting his head. “I think it’s going to make it all… special.”

It’s like a rock has been lifted off your shoulders. You were really afraid of this aspect of your forming relationship with Adam, but he took it in the best way possible, just strengthening you in your belief that you are heading in the right direction.

“I really want to kiss you right now, so I’m gonna go and have a shower to clear my head,” he sighs lifting your legs up so he could stand up. Flipping his hair into place he heads to the bathroom when you call out after him.

“Adam, wait.”

He stops and watches you with curious eyes as you walk over to him. Placing your hands to his chest you tiptoe and press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. When your heels get back to the floor you just shyly smile up at him.

“Thank you,” you whisper tilting your head to the side as he returns the smile. He doesn’t reply, just kisses your forehead and disappears in the bathroom.

 You mostly never know when you wake up in the morning that something life-changing is going to happen that day. You start it just the way you always do and then things just happen and at the end of the day you can’t believe you didn’t see it all coming.

It’s a Friday morning, the day you are moving all your stuff into the new apartment you finally found. You’ve told Hannah already that you are moving out, she sounded completely fine with your decision even though she didn’t know the real reason behind your leaving. The place you are moving into is not too far from Hannah’s apartment and close enough to Adam’s place he rented for the time he is going to move out, just the perfect place, a one bedroom apartment just for yourself, to start a new chapter in your life. You try your best not to feel like you are just getting ready for a betrayal, you like to think this is what must be done.

After an early breakfast Adam and you start your rounds with your boxes and bags to your new place, going back and forth for hours. It’s past 1 pm when the last box finally arrives and you are ready to unpack.

“I like how close this is to my place,” he huffs while you are putting your books on the shelves.

“It was kind of a reason why I liked it,” you smile back at him and he gives you an amazed smirk, liking the fact that you had considered him as a factor while looking for your new home.

“I gotta head back home, I’m meeting my agent soon. You’ll be fine on your own?” he asks kissing the top of your head.

“Yeah. Wanna swing by later?”

“Sure, I can bring food,” he offers and you nod. “See you later, Kid,” he smiles at you before walking out.

You get lost in your own little world, unpacking everything and finding the right place for your stuff and hours go by. When it’s dark outside you find your phone that you haven’t checked in long under your pillows and you see that you had a text from Adam about an hour ago.

“Hannah showed up, I’m gonna talk to her.”

Your stomach immediately drops as you read his words. You were not ready for this at all and you haven’t even really talked about what he is going to tell her. Is he gonna tell her about you? Are they still talking? How did Hannah take the breakup?

“Shit,” you mumble anxiously, feeling the urge to go back to the apartment to check in on them.

What if he doesn’t break up with her? What if he doesn’t want to leave her, he was just playing with you?

There are millions of questions crossing your mind as you nervously pace the floor back at forth, trying to figure out what to do. You are just about to get your stuff and leave when you get another text from Adam.

“I told her about us, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to but it slipped! She fucking locked me into the apartment, I think she is going to see you. I’m trying to get out.”

“Oh my fucking… Shit!” you curse again, your hands shaking from fear when suddenly there’s a violent knock on your door.

“Let me the fuck in, Y/N!” Hannah demands, nonstop hitting the door with her hand. For a moment you think about not letting her in, but you can’t do that. You have to face her.

You take a deep breath as you turn the lock and open the door just to find a raging, red-eyed Hannah standing there.

“You could you,” she hisses pushing her way inside. “How could you do this to me?”

Closing the door you slowly turn around in a complete loss of words, giving the perfect chance for Hannah to lash out on you.

“I fucking trusted you! And what do you do? Steal my boyfriend when I’m away? Y/N, this is so fucked up! How long has the two of you been sneaking behind my back?”

“We-we didn’t. It was just one kiss a-and nothing else happened, I swear!”

“And I’m supposed to believe that? How fucking believable is it that you two didn’t do anything while I was away after that kiss happened?”

“I didn’t want anything to happen until he hasn’t sorted things out with you!”

“How fucking generous! Am I supposed to say thank you?” she scoffs throwing her hands into the air. “This is literally the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, Y/N, and the fact that it came from a family member, is just blowing my mind.”

“Hannah, he said you were already having problems, not connected to me,” you whisper, trying to fight your tears back, but your vision is turning blurry already.

“But that doesn’t mean you can just scoop in and be the shoulder he cries on and then fuck him!” she screams and you jump a little at her voice. “But you know what? You two deserve each other!” she spats. “I hope the poisonous thought of how you two played me will keep you together forever! And I hope you are proud of yourself for ruining my life!”

Finishing up she marches past you and just walks out, shutting the door behind her as you just stand there, tears running down your face, completely and utterly disgusted by yourself. Because every word she said was true. You really did just played her and for what? Because you couldn’t behave like an adult and control yourself around Adam?

You deserved every bit of it and it has opened your eyes.

You have no idea how much time goes by when you hear another knock on the door and you jump at the sudden noise of it.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Did she come here?” Adam speaks up on the other side and your body just can’t move. You stare at the door like it’s him, the tears still soaking your cheeks, but you are just unable to move. “Y/N please let me in!” he begs, but you can’t do that. You can’t face him.

“Adam, go away,” you call out in a shaky voice.

“What did Hannah tell you? She was just mad about the whole thing, I’m sure she didn’t mean half the stuff she told you! Please just let me in so we can talk without this fucking door between us!”

“Go away!” you repeat and as the words leave your mouth you choke out.

“Fuck!” he slams his hand on the door. “I’m gonna break this fucking door if you don’t let me in, I already broke one door today, don’t fucking test me!”

Rushing over to the door you lean against it, like you could stop him from breaking it when in reality you know he would easily sweep you off your feet if he decided to break the door.

“Adam, please go away. This is not working,” you beg him and hearing your words coming from closer he forgets about breaking in, he just leans against the door wishing it wasn’t there.

“I thought we had a deal. I know it didn’t turn out how we wanted, but I still want to be with you. Do you not want to be with me?”

“Don’t make it harder than how it already is. Just admit, it would have never worked.”

“How do you know if we never tried?”

“Not under these circumstances. Hannah was right, we played her and it’s the most disgusting thing ever.”

“Fucking Hannah and her manipulation! She was just angry at the situation, I’m sure she wanted to be the one to break up with me, so now she is playing the drama queen like always to make herself the biggest fucking victim! Don’t fall for her stupid shit!”

“Go away, Adam,” you repeat as you already made your mind up. This is not going to happen, it would have never worked and now you just want to live with the guilt that’s slowly eating you up alive, because that’s exactly what you deserve.

“Y/N, just open the fucking door, let me see you!”

“But I don’t want to see you. Goodbye, Adam,” you say before pushing yourself away from the door and going to the farthest corner of the apartment to get as far away from him as possible.

He doesn’t leave for another hour or so, talking to you through the door, but you never answer. You’re afraid he will for real break your door, but he stays outside. At one point you realize he hasn’t spoken in a long time, so you tiptoe to the peephole and you see no one outside.

Softly opening the door you peek outside to make sure he is gone and you just find the empty hallway, no sign of Adam. He is gone.

He really is gone, and even though you wanted him to be gone, it still breaks your heart. It’s like for the first time in your life, you are completely alone and this void is pulling you in, no matter what you try to tell yourself.

Adam has become a huge part of your life and you realize that you shouldn’t have depended on him so bad, because your relationship was doomed from the first moment and you should have known that. You should have been smarter than that. But now you are left on your own, living with the consequences of your poor life choices.

-

general/forever taglist for Adam Driver

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!

@superdriver​ @siren-queen03​ @holacherrycola90​ @spencer-is-amazing​ @unusual-kindred-spirits​ @hailthemightywoecloud @holy-kylo-stars​ @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog​ @hurricanesunset​ @writerandee​ @luxury-0pps​ @prncess91​ @malefoygal​ @zaahidahhh​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 3

aka Caleo uni AU

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso gets a new friend and notices that maybe her flatmate isn't that bad after all.

A/N: Time to introduce Annabeth! I will slowly be adding more of the familiar characters, in the next chapter there will be more (but who, may that remain a secret for another week).

As usual, thanks to my friend Cris for betaing! And thanks to everyone who's been commenting, know that your comments really have motivated me to continue this fic! Please keep them coming :)

And now, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo, Annabeth

Words: 1300+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort (in the future chapters)

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

It was the morning of Calypso’s first day at the university. The first week would mostly be orientation, meaning getting to know her fellow students, the professors, the campus, her program and so on a bit better. She was feeling quite nervous because aside from Leo she hadn’t really met other students living in the area yet, and if she was honest with herself, her friend making skills weren’t the best. Due to the circumstances at her home, she had never had a close friend, and her relationships tended to end after a couple of months for various reasons. But this was finally a good chance to find other people interested in the same topics as she was, and she didn’t want to blow it up.

As she was making herself breakfast, her roommate showed up and sat down on a chair next to her, leaning his chin against the backrest. His fingers were tapping against the hard wood of the table like Calypso had already seen them do a few times in the past few days. The boy never seemed to be able to sit still.

“First day in this university, huh?” Leo asked. “You nervous?”

“What do you want?” Calypso asked suspiciously, not answering his question. She wasn’t feeling like opening up about her nervousness to this boy who for some reason made her feel even more restless. It was almost as if his nervous energy was contagious.

“Listen,” Leo started, now looking at her directly and stopping the tapping for a moment. “I know we haven’t exactly started off great, but we’re still going to be living together for a while so I thought we should at least be even. So. I fixed your desk.”

“I don’t want to owe you anything,” Calypso said matter-of-factly.

“You’re not owing me!” Leo exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air for a bigger impact. “I… well, Festus, but it was my fault… broke it so I thought it was the appropriate thing to do. But if you are too proud to…” His voice started to rise a bit. He had not expected Calypso to be that stubborn.

“Okay,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder briefly to stop his rambling. “I’ll accept it. Thanks. I guess.”

“Not exactly the reaction I was expecting but I’ll accept it,” he mocked her tone and earned an angry look from Calypso. “I was hoping for something more like ‘thank you so much, my favorite roomie, you’re the best!’” To avoid another lash from her, he quickly changed the subject: “Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that we should probably take weekly turns with cleaning the common area, like I did with Jason. I can take this week if you want to.”

“No, I can take it.” Calypso said with a tone that meant this won’t be discussed further.

“Is there anything you can’t make an argument about, Miss Sunshine?” Leo stared at her with frustration while his hands were reaching for the chips from a bag he had left on the dining table the other day.

“You make it rather easy, Valdez. Also, who eats chips for breakfast?” She shook her head with disapproval. “Manners,” she mumbled under her breath before turning to put the milk back into the fridge. “Now, I’d like to finish my breakfast so if you excuse me…”

She took her bowl of cereals and an orange with her into her room and closed the door behind her.

…

“Don’t forget to get your books for next week, we’re already going to start with…” A professor announced at the end of his long lecture. The rest of his speech was drowned by the sound of the students starting to get up and collect their stuff to leave the class.

“When I signed up for this, I was not expecting them to have full blown lectures on the first day,” a blonde girl behind Calypso noted. Unlike Calypso, who felt overwhelmed by the amount of information she had just received, the other girl seemed almost bored as if she already knew everything they had been told.

“Yeah, me neither,” Calypso admitted, realizing that the girl was talking to her. “But I guess that’s university for you…”

“Right,” the blonde agreed. “Anyway, what’s your name? I don’t know anyone in this group yet but I’d like to change that.”

“Oh! I’m Calypso. Calypso Astal,” she gave the girl her hand to shake. “You can call me Cal, though…”

The other girl took it and shook it firmly. “Annabeth Chase. I’m actually an architect student but I’m also interested in history so I decided to make it my minor subject. I guess that means I’ll be seeing you a lot this semester!”

“Oh, that’s cool!” Calypso exclaimed. “I like drawing too but I doubt I would actually be good enough to design buildings.”

“There’s a lot that you need to take into account when designing,” Annabeth agreed, “but practice makes perfect.” As the girls passed a window that showed them the beautiful old main building of their university, she gestured at it and added: “One day I’d love to design something that will make people stop and say ‘hey, did you know this building was designed by none other than Annabeth Chase?’”

“To be honest, I haven’t thought that far,” Calypso admitted. “This is all still so new to me, I’ve been…” She decided she didn’t want to reveal her home circumstances to someone she had just met so she changed her approach: “well, there’s a lot I still want to experience so I have not devoted myself to just one path yet. I came here because I needed to get away, and history was an easy choice because I’ve always been interested in it. I still don’t picture myself researching the past events for the rest of my life.”

Annabeth nodded understandingly. “I think a lot of people of our age feel that way. My boyfriend… Well, now he’s having a swimming career but we both know that isn’t gonna last forever so I’ve been trying to get him to think of other possibilities for when he no longer feels the passion for competing. But he doesn’t see it the same way, he says I always plan too much ahead. Which I guess may be partially true,” she chuckled and rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, feeling she may have revealed a bit too much.

“Yeah. I like to go with a similar ‘go with the flow’ attitude as well.” In her head Calypso added: ‘because of what happened at home’.

“Anyway,” Annabeth decided to change the topic when she noticed Calypso had gone quiet. “This is a bit of a random question, but are you familiar with this town yet?”

“No, not yet.” Calypso shook her head. “I moved here only a week ago.”

“In that case, would you like me to show around some day?” Annabeth asked, opening her phone calendar. “I’d have time for example tomorrow.”

“Oh, sure, that would be great!” Calypso said. “Definitely beats listening to my roommate’s tinkering all day long.”

“Tinkering? You wouldn’t happen to be flatmates with Leo Valdez?” Annabeth connected the dots. The campus wasn’t that big and he had heard some stories through her boyfriend about one very enthusiastic mechanic.

“Unfortunately, I am. How did you know?” Calypso asked curiously.

“Oh, he has a bit of a reputation here,” Annabeth said mischievously. When Calypso looked at her suspiciously, she added: “I’m just kidding, my boyfriend is good friends with one guy named Jason who used to be Leo’s flatmate. I’ve never met him but I did keep hearing that he was constantly building something in his room. And also, Leo likes making a number of himself so he has put plenty of flashy ads on the uni bulletin boards telling about his mechanic business.”

“I guess I should have known that,” Calypso facepalmed.

“You don’t seem to like him very much, do you?” Annabeth asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Um…” Calypso wasn’t sure why she was revealing all this to a stranger, but it just felt right. “Our chemistry just… isn’t working. We’re very different and…” She tried to think of other reasons for their issues, which turned out to be harder than she expected. She realized that she didn’t really know him yet. “Uh, his dog broke my desk on the day I moved in and I’ve been mad at him ever since. He did apologize but… something about his attitude irks me. I don’t even know what it is.”

Annabeth’s mouth curled up a bit in amusement. She wanted to say that sounded a lot like her relationship with her boyfriend Percy had started. “That happens sometimes. Maybe… give him another chance, though. I mean, I don’t really know him or anything but sometimes the first impressions aren’t the best ones. You haven’t been living together for a long time yet, so there’s probably a lot you don’t know about him.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I feel kind of silly for complaining about that to a stranger. But thanks for listening!”

“No problem! Listen, I should get going now because I have a meeting with some architect friends but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah! You bet!”

The girls quickly exchanged their phone numbers before separating to their own ways. As Calypso was walking towards her flat, though, she felt a small smile spread on her face. Maybe she had just made her first friend.

..

When Calypso got inside, to her surprise she found her broken desk waiting for her near her room. Only, it wasn’t broken anymore. She had wondered where it had disappeared after the incident but hadn’t really given it too much thought considering the state of the desk, thinking that Leo might have taken it to a recycling center or something. However, it turned out he had done a lot more than that. The broken board had been replaced with a new one and he had also sandpapered the surface, painted it and varnished it so it looked better than it had looked when it was brand new. Calypso could only stare with an open mouth at the fine job he had done. Once she had finally recovered from the surprise a bit, she yelled:

“Valdez!”

“¿Sí?” he peeked from his room, not sure what to expect. To his surprise, he saw the first genuine smile he had seen on her face.

“Would you like to help me to carry this into my room?” she asked in a friendly manner, still smiling. Leo took that as a win and agreed to help.

When they were done, Calypso did another thing that surprised both herself and him: she gently touched his arm and said: “Thanks. It looks good. And I mean it.”

“Leo Valdez, always ready to help.” He made a silly bowing gesture that made Calypso snort.

“You know, maybe you’re not quite so bad after all.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time,” he said, but there were no ill feelings behind his words.

“Now go before I change my mind,” Calypso said playfully. Leo gave her his signature grin and as he left the room, he felt he had finally managed to crack her cover a bit.

[melaninmarvelgirl62]

Overworked Part 2

Erik Killmonger x Reader

Word Count: 3k

Lightly Proofread. Please excuse any errors.

A/N: I’m sorry for how long this took to get out you guys. This is my first time writing Dadmonger and I’m a little nervous. I hope y’all enjoy it. As always please like, comment, and reblog.

9:48 a.m.

‘I should be up by now.’ Erik thought to himself. He sighed lowly and continued staring at the ceiling like he had been doing for the past hour. He should be sitting in his office prepping for the meeting he had at 10, but he isn't. He’s at home, in bed, lying comfortably next to his favorite person in the world. Now, in his defense, he really did try to go to work this morning. He had woken up late, a little after 8, which never happens. He's usually up well before 6, but this morning the sensors in his brain seemed to malfunction this morning. When he finally woke up he managed to, begrudgingly, pull himself out of bed to complete his morning routine. He emptied his bladder, brushed his teeth, and showered all in less than 20 minutes. He got dressed and made his way to his car, where he sat for about 15 minutes before going back into the house, trading his clothes for a pair of basketball shorts and crawling back into bed. So, yeah. He really did try but for some reason he just couldn’t do it. 

Well, maybe not just some reason. 

He looked down to where your body curled into his. Your leg was thrown over his waist and your head was lodged between his side and his armpit. The positioning looked awkward and uncomfortable but the peaceful look on your face, paired with your soft snores told him otherwise. A small smile graced his face as he reached over and tugged gently at the silk scarf that had begun to slip backwards. Taking hold of your thigh he hoisted it slightly higher causing you to curl into him further.

“It’s you. You’re the reason.”,he whispered to your unconscious form, chuckling quietly when a crease formed in your brow, and you burrowed your face further into his side. He thought back to the conversation you two had the night before, remembering the defeated look on your face. He felt like an asshole, honestly. Mostly because he didn’t even realize that he’d been neglecting you and the kids the way he has. None of the work he does is great enough to potentially put the foundation of his family at risk. You and the kids were his world, without y’all none of the other stuff really mattered.

The vibrations of his phone atop his bedside table drew his attention away from you. He looked over to see his assistant’s name flash across his screen and groaned. Reluctantly, Erik untangled your limbs from his. Being careful as to not wake you, he rolled himself into sitting position on the edge of the bed, instantly missing the warmth of your body. He picked up his phone and headed into his closet. Tapping the green icon, he put it on speaker and sat it down in front of him.

“I’m not coming in today, Alicia.”,he stated plainly, dragging a hand over his face.

“Yeah, i figured. I already cancelled your 10 o’clock appointment I was calling to confirm rescheduling dates for it as well as your 3:00.”, she answered, without missing a beat.

A sigh of relief escaped Erik and he smiled to himself, grateful to have hired a competent assistant. The two of them talked for a bit, discussing how taking the weekend off would disturb the week ahead, and  rearranging his schedule to fit in the meetings he would miss. Afterward Erik thanked her, and bid her a good  weekend. Hanging up, he went back into the bedroom in hopes of wrapping you in his arms. His hopes were shattered when he arrived to an empty bed. Beyond the bathroom door the steady pitter-patter of water against the shower floor could be heard. He kissed his teeth. ‘There goes the rest of my blissful morning’. He fell back onto the bed, pout in full effect, before innocent babble sounded through the baby monitor.

He made his way down the hall and into the nursery, where he found his 6-month old son, Isaiah, in his crib playing with a small black panther. Isaiah’s big brown eyes found Erik’s quickly and toothless smile lit up his round face, he dropped his toy and reached up for Erik.

“Wassup, lil man?”,he asked, retrieving him from his crib. Isaiah responded enthusiastically, bouncing in his arms and giggling. Erik smiled, too engrossed in Isaiah to notice you leaning against the door jamb watching with a soft smile on your face.You walk into the room and stand behind him. Wrapping your arms around his torso, you press your lips to his back, before resting your cheek against his warm skin. “I think we got a visitor, lil man.”,Erik said and your smile widened. You step into his line of vision and he leans down to quickly brush his lips over yours, muttering a soft ‘good morning’ against them.

“Well this is a pleasant surprise.” ,you say and Erik chuckles. Your son sees you and reaches down for you with a small whine. You take him into your arms and pepper his face with kisses, causing his infectious laughter to fill the room. “Were you having fun with baba?, you ask Isaiah and he looks to Erik with a big smile, bouncing excitedly saying ‘baba’ and you and Erik chuckled softly.

Leaving the nursery, you make your way across the hall to your 4 year old daughter’s room. You peer into the room to find Kaia sleeping peacefully and ease the door shut. You gesture at your husband to do the same thing for your 5 year old, Elijah. He mirrors your actions, quietly closing the door behind him.

You head downstairs and into the kitchen with your son in tow and your husband close behind. Sitting Isaiah in his high chair, you stand at the island and begin cutting up a banana into large chunks and placing them in front of your son, who wastes no time mashing the fruit between his fingers, eating it, and babbling happily. You chuckle softly and grab a bottle of milk from the fridge, placing it in the bottle warmer, and waiting for the milk to heat. The warmer beeps and Erik watches as you pluck the bottle from the warmer, sitting it in front of Isaiah, after testing the liquid on your skin. He walks around from his seat at the island to stand behind you. He braced himself against the counter top with one hand while his arm found a place around your waist, hand venturing beneath your tank top in search of your warm skin. His hold on your waist loosened slightly as you turned to face him. You wrap your arms around his torso, your eyes peering up to meet his.

“Hi.” The word leaves your lips softly as you smile up at him knowingly.

“Hi” He replies, with a smile that matches your and he leans down to bring his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and unhurried, not unlike the thousands of others you’d shared, but it felt different. Like an unspoken promise of sorts. Your lips left his and you rested you head against his broad chest, appreciating the steadiness of his heartbeat beneath his scarred skin. Your nails scratch at the small of his back, gently, and his hold on your body tightened once more.

“No work today?” ,you asked and he breathed out a quiet ‘mnmm’ in response. Warmth spread through your body at the sound and you smiled. One of his hands slid up your back, and into your hair,  giving the ponytail of faux-locs on your head a light tug. You took the non verbal cue and your eyes met his once more.

“I want you to know that I heard everything you said last night.” his tone was light but serious as his dark brown eyes peered down into yours. You downcast your eyes, your lips ghosting his sternum before resting your chin there.

“I know you did.” ,you said eyes on him again. There was no doubt in your mind that Erik had taken your words seriously. “You being here this morning tells me that much, but for the record, had you gone into the office this morning I wouldn't have doubted that for a second.” He nodded at your words but didn’t say anything further. He simply cradled your head to his chest, fingers gliding against the nape of your neck. The two of you stayed like that until a sharp gasp drew your attention away from each other. Your daughter stood in the middle of the kitchen floor, purple bonnet askew, staring wide eyed at the two of you. Erik let go of you and crouched down low with his arms opened wide. Kaia took off running, small body hitting her father’s chest with a thump. Erik grunted at the impact and folded her into his arms. He showered her face in kisses and she giggled pushing him away.

“Baba, stop it!” she squealed, through a fit of laughter. He placed one last kiss on her dimpled cheek before relenting to her request.

“How’s my princess?” he asked, the brilliant smile on his face mirroring his daughters. Kaia wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, her cheek pressed against his.

“I’m hungry.” ,she answered, shifting her vision in search of you. She found you leaning against the kitchen island with a grin on your face. “Morning, Mommy!” You cross the short distance over to them and kiss her cheek.

 “Good morning, Peanut. What do you want for breakfast?”

“Cereal.”

You spin around, surprised, when another little voice answers instead. Elijah walks past you with tired eyes. He hugs his father’s legs a small ‘good morning’ leaving his mouth, before making his way to you and doing the same. Since the day he was born you swore he was the calmest kid in the world, the polar opposite of his baby sister, who possesses more energy than any four year old you’d ever seen. You bend down and press a kiss into the mess of coils on his head.

“Which cereal would you like?” you ask, heading towards the pantry to retrieve the Coco Puffs you already knew they’d want. A Saturday tradition in the Stevens household. You prepare two bowls sitting them on the table. Kaia detached herself from her father and goes with her brother to sit.

“Thank you, mommy.” their voices mirror in unison.

“You’re welcome, my loves.” You smile and kiss the tops of their heads. Stopping in front of Isaiah, you use the bib around his neck to wipe his face clean, he stops his babbling to give you a gummy smile. Erik joins the children at the table with his own large bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. You stand behind the island committing the moment to memory. It’s been about a month of Sundays since all of you had eaten breakfast together due to Erik’s recent work schedule. Grabbing a bowl, you rip a page out of Erik’s book and take a seat.

The rest of the day went on like that. Kaia and Elijah were glued to their father sides only breaking away for food or the bathroom. As the evening slowly shifted into the nighttime you all found yourselves in the backyard. Bellies full from the  dinner you’d eaten prior. You and Isaiah were sitting on the patio, watching, while the rest of your family splashed around in the pool. You smiled as you watched Erik send a large wave of water crashing down over their heads, thankful that wash day for Kaia was right around the corner. When Isaiah yawned and laid his head against your chest, eyelids fluttering closed tiredly, you checked the time on your phone. 8:49 p.m. You got your husband’s attention, silently telling him that it was time to go inside. You headed upstairs to put Isaiah to sleep. Hopefully for the night. He went down easily, unconsciously gripping the small stuffed panther cub you kept in his crib. 

You eased the door closed and went searching for Erik and the kids. You found them in the bathtub, laughing at something Erik was doing with the bath time toys. They had begged to opt out of nap time today and you could see the tiredness hidden behind their wide eyes.’They’ll sleep good tonight.’ You think to yourself with a small laugh. You walk over, pulling a random co-wash from your product stash and work it through your daughter’s hair, and rinsing it, before moisturizing it and braiding it into four neat cornrows. Erik drains the tub and you each hold out a towel for the children to step into. You take Kaia and Erik takes Elijah. You carry them to their respective rooms to dress them for bed. You tied up Kaia’s hair and tucked her in, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Goodnight’”you whispered, but she didn’t respond, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. You and Erik passed each other in the hallway as you made your way to Elijah’s room and he made his to Kaia’s. Your son’s soft snores were the first thing you noticed when you entered his room. You tiptoed over to his resting form pressing your lips to his forehead before quietly exiting the room.  As you walked back to your bedroom you saw the nursery door open. You peeked in to see Erik standing over Isaiah whispering something in Xhosa. You smiled and continued on to the bedroom.

Once there you walked into the bathroom, and started the shower, shedding the leggings and tank top you’d been in all day. You wrapped your hair into a bun at the top of your head and stepped beneath the spray of the hot water, body relaxing instantly. Taking your loofah, you squeeze the brown sugar and honey scented shower gel into it and begin to scrub the days activities from your body.

“Mind if I join you?”, Erik appears, seemingly out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of you. The small squeak you let out makes him chuckle. He mutters out some form of an apology but there’s absolutely no remorse in his tone. You roll your eyes and smack his chest before returning to the task at hand. He steps fully into the shower behind you, pulling you back against his chest. You instantly relax into his body, the suds on you transferring onto him.. He groans, “I’m tired as fuck. I don’t get how you run after them kids all damn day.”He gets his arms around you securely and plants a trail of kisses across your shoulder and up the side of your neck.”You a good ass mama.”, he whispers in your ear. You smile softly and turn your head, tilting it up a bit as he captures your lips with his in a deep kiss. He guides you beneath the streams of water, careful not to wet your hair,and watches as the soapy water glides down your body. He pushes your back against the shower wall and covers your lips with his again. You sighed contently as his hands travel over your body, settling on your backside. He kneads the supple flesh, his lips leaving yours to nip down the length of your neck. A soft moan escapes you as he presses himself firmly against you, his thick member weighing heavily against your hip. He makes a move to lift you and you whimper in protest, pushing at his chest. You’ve always hated shower sex, which he knows, and he’s dropped you every single time you two tried it, so that was a hard no.  He pulled away from you, with an eyebrow quirked in question, bottom lip tucked between his teeth. 

You snort and roll your eyes, “I thought you were tired.”He laughs humorlessly, eyes low and drunk with lust, as they freely roamed your wet body. He offers no words as he moves towards you. Acting quickly, you dodge him and step out of the shower. He kisses his teeth,a menacing ‘stop playin’ wit me, ma’ falls from his lips causing a shiver to run down your spine. “I’m not, I promise. Finish your shower and come to bed.” You press your lips to his again, fingers purposefully brushing against his rigid arousal, drawing a low growl from his throat. You pull away smiling. You’ve really missed this.

“Naked.” The word makes you stop in your tracks as you made your way back to the bedroom. You turn to face him a soft ‘hmm?’ leaving you.He walked towards you, water dripping from his naked body, “Be naked when I get there. I mean that shit.” He emphasized the statement with a hard smack to your behind, your wet skin stinging in its wake.

You moaned and a slow smile appeared on your face, “Yes, Daddy,”. You take one of the fluffy white towels from the shelf in your bathroom and pat your body dry. Wrapping yourself in your long silk white robe, you make your way into the bedroom, picking up your vanilla and coconut scented body butter on your way out. You sit on the edge of the bed and smooth the product over your skin, thoroughly enjoying its sweet scent. Your body hummed with excitement as you waited for your husband to come out of the bathroom. You move to remove the robe from your body, your nipples hardening as they meet the cold air. Just as you’re about to drop the garment completely, you hear three little knocks at your door, followed by a soft ‘mommy’. The whine that left you was a little more than pathetic. A defeated sigh escaped you as you pulled the robe around you once more, securing it tightly. Behind the door stood Elijah, thumb in his mouth and his stuffed jaguar tucked beneath his arm.

“What’s wrong, chipmunk? Bad dream?” you asked softly, lowering yourself to  his eye level. He nods, laying his head on your shoulder. Enfolding him in your arms you stand up and walk over to the bed. You take a seat with him in your lap just as Erik steps out of the bathroom, thankfully, with a towel around his waist. He takes in the sight in front of him and laughs at the joke that is his sex life.

“18 days.”,he says,incredulously, to no one in particular, staring up at the ceiling. You laugh softly to keep from crying.

“18 days.”

Erik was going to make sure that the two of you didn’t make it to 19.

A/N: Have kids they said. It’ll be fun they said.Thanks for reading! One more part to go!!! 

@chaneajoyyy @fd-writes

[cammie-morgan-goode]

Parenting dialogue prompts: #3 - Tabby, #8 - Rachel and Matt, #11 - Zammie

Parenting dialogue #11 “I don’t know which one I need to look after more, you or the kid?” Zach/Cammie

After a long day at headquarters, Cammie fumbles with her keys in the door. She’s tired after dealing with angry and stressed agents all day. Her fingers are tired of typing up and editing reports. Her feet are sore after running up and down fights of stairs and she’s just so run down. Between working in the office at headquarters and out in the field with Zach on special missions, she barely has a moment to herself—much less with her little girl. The days are long, the weeks even longer. She loves this life. But, it’s moment’s like this, that she wishes for a different career; because while she’s been gone for the day, she’s been away from her child.

Opening the door, she sets her bag on the floor and slides off her shoes. She closes it behind her, clicking the lock in place. And then she hears it. The faint sound of a laugh. And then whispers which are followed by giggles.

Cammie looks around. Usually she would be greeted by Maddie by now but she’s nowhere to be found. And neither is her husband. She wanders into the kitchen and finds it empty. The ache in her feet is hard to ignore but she wanders through the apartment anyway.

And then she spots it. A single froot loop in the middle of the carpet. She shakes her head and picks it up. She starts forward before there’s a crunch beneath her foot. She groans. How many times has she told Zach to make sure Maddie eats in the kitchen? She’d have to vacuum now.

Shaking her head once more, she pauses. And she soon realizes that where she had found one froot loop, there was now a trail. Curious, she starts picking them up one by one.

Collecting them in her hands, they lead her around the small house. Circling around the living room, through Maddie’s bedroom, to the bathroom. They went down the hallway and finally to Zach and Cammie’s bedroom.

She hears the tv and the giggling is gradually getting louder. Carefully opening the door, she peeks inside. Cammie should be mad. But, she isn’t.

Carefully opening the door, she steps inside. “I don’t know which one to look after more, you or the kid?” She says, looking at Zach.

Zach and Maddie look up from their spot on the bed. In their laps are bowls of cereal and on the tv is toy story. Maddie is grinning from ear to ear as she’s cuddled up beside her dad. She’d always been a daddy’s girl but she loved when mom came home.

“Mommy!” She squeals, jumping up and rushing from the bed.

Except when she does, she knocks over hers and Zach’s bowls of Froot Loops, saturating the blankets in milk and colored cereal. “Oopsie daisy!”

Cammie sighs as Zach looks at her apologetically. Cammie wanders over to them both and gently picks Maddie up, hugging her tight. “Hi, baby.” She says.

Zach smiles and starts cleaning up the mess on the bed. Cammie sighs happily. She loved being a spy and being a field agent. But she loved being a mom more. And being hugged with sticky fingers and kissed with wet lips, was the greatest part of her day.

And while her day had been rough, she would never change this.

(Written by: @cammie-morgan-goode)

Other parts:

https://cammie-morgan-goode.tumblr.com/post/619327951527428096/3-i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-with-tabby

https://cammie-morgan-goode.tumblr.com/post/619400587030740992/parenting-dialogue-prompts-8-theyre-perfect

[nikkzwrites]

Yesterday Once More | Dark Fix-It Fic Series | Chapter 9

A/N: This fic is one that I started with my OC because honestly, I personally didn’t like how season 3 ended. So I am rewriting all of Dark with my OC Annalise Dahlheim. I hope you all like it. Some things will be expanded more on just for more depth to Dark that season 3 kinda skipped over so…. yeah.

CW: Canon Typical Triggers: Smoking, Sex, Language, Drugs, Drinking, Death, Violence, Suicide Mentions, Cutting, Violence.

Word Count:  6.5k

[First Chapter] [Previous Chapter] [Next Chapter]

That morning Jonas woke up slowly. His lulled senses were comforted by the smell of the girl next to him. His eyes actually remained closed in fear that if he were to open them, she would not be there with him and that her presence in his life at all was just all a pleasant dream to soothe himself of his misery. He pulled her tighter to him at that thought. He curled around her entangling their legs together to trap her there with him. Tears fell from his eyes without his permission, yet he couldn’t stop it. He pressed his forehead against Annalise’s neck as his body heaved.

Annalise slowly untangled her legs just enough to be able to turn to the boy. She snaked her arms around him and pulled him closer. The girl pet his head. She steadied her breathing taking large, slow, breaths to calm him down. 

Jonas buried his face into her neck and wrapped his legs with hers again. His fingertips pressed into her and pulled into his fists taking parts of her shirt with them. He felt so small so powerless to do anything of value. His lips brushed against her skin as he blubbered. His breathing fast and shaky as if trying to cross a recently frozen lake that just started to crack. The feeling of her fingers rubbing circles into his scalp soothed him. His well of grief started to dry up as he calmed. He allowed her warmth and soft nature to finally reach him once more. Her light shined past his clouds giving them a nice rosy hue. 

Annalise gently pressed her lips against the side of Jonas’s head. “It’s okay,” She soothed, “Everything’s okay, Jonas.” She started to finger comb her way out of his hair so that she could trace patterns into his back and shoulders. Despite being so close to him, her heart was actually complying and not allowing the lack of space between them to affect its job. She rubbed her cheek against his head. “I’m here,” she whispered, “You’re safe here in my arms.”

Jonas nodded and slowly pulled his face out of her neck to press his forehead against hers. His shattered breathing tried to mimic Annalise’s. His cheeks burned as she brushed his tears away. His throat was dry. It hurt when he tried to speak, “Can I stay with you today?” He felt so weak, like a child asking their mother if they could stay home from school. Jonas felt as if he was admitting defeat until he felt her hands interlace themselves with his.

Annalise brought his now held hands up to her lips and kissed his knuckles, “Of course you can. We can even stay right here if you want us not to move.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jonas admitted.

Annalise giggled, “It’s completely okay, Jonas. What else would you want to do?”

A growl erupted from his stomach. Embarrassed, his face glowed. He started to chuckle and commented, “Eat probably. I forgot to eat yesterday.”

Annalise shook her head and wiggled her nose against his, “No wonder you are being so emotional today then Silly. You need to eat.” She pulled away from him after kissing his forehead and went to her wardrobe. She opened it up to try and find a suitable outfit for that day.

Jonas carefully tore himself from the comfort of the bed. Once his feet hit the cold harsh floor, he rushed and held Annalise once more. He rested his chin on her head. His arms wrapped around her waist.

Annalise patted his head and asked, “Do you want to pick out my outfit?”

Jonas nodded forcing Annalise to squirm down to make sure he was comfortable.

“Okay,” she smiled up at him through the mirror inside the door, “What sort of thing were you thinking?”

Jonas blanked. He had no idea about what girls wore or what looked good. He felt like an idiot for saying he wanted to pick out her outfit. He started to panic, “Uh…”

Annalise laughed, “It’s okay! Why not you just pick what sort of...feeling… you want the outfit to give and I pick based on that?”

“Uh…” Jonas tried to think. He sighed and placed his cheek more on her head, “What do you mean?”

Annalise giggled, “Okay, so what do you want to do today?”

Jonas shrugged, “Whatever you want to do. I just... “

“It’s okay,” Annalise tilted her head and kissed his cheek, “Why don’t we take a bike ride and go have a small lunch out at the lake?”

Jonas nodded, “That sounds fine to me.”

Annalise smiled and removed herself from his arms. She took his hands as she looked at him, “Do you wanna invite your mom out with us? It might be good to have a family outing.”

Jonas shrugged again, “As long as you are there, I don’t mind.” He really hoped that Annalise wouldn’t invite the rest of the group though. He didn’t really want to have to deal with seeing Martha right now nor did he want to see anyone else for that matter. But if she did, he'd just try to stick to Annalise like glue.

As if she could sense his hesitation, Annalise smiled and told him, “It could just be you and me if you want through Jonas. No one else has to be with us if you aren’t comfortable…”

Jonas nodded quickly, “Please.”

Annalise pulled one of her hands away to place it on his cheek. She watched as he pressed against her palm as if it were the only comfort he had in the entire world. The girl giggled and said, “We are going to have to part ways for a little bit, okay? Why don't you go hop in the shower while I change and go make you some breakfast?”

Jonas nodded, but did not move. His feet firmly planted so that he wouldn’t leave. It took him a minute to unstick himself and turn to go to the bathroom to take a shower.

Annalise walked downstairs to see Hannah getting ready to leave for a job. She smiled and gave the woman a hug. She waved her off and started to cook some pancakes for the boy. She laughed as she cooked ignoring her phone which had Martha frantically texting her. 

Jonas washed off yesterday and watched it go down the drain. He was alone. Very alone. He groaned. The cool water kept his mind from wandering too far down the rabbit hole. He did zone out until he smelled it. They smelled different though, like it was burnt.

Screaming rang through the house as Annalise watched her pancake start burning. She tossed it into the sink and tried to put it out with a towel. Luckily the banging on the stairs meant Jonas was on his way. She started to cry. The fire was out but there was the burnt pancake.

Jonas nearly slipped running downstairs as fast as he possibly could while still getting dressed decently enough. By time, he got to Annalise, she was standing there crying, staring at the sink as black smoke rose from the pan. She looked as if her entire world was ending just because she burnt one pancake. Her fingers clutching her hair. Her body shaking. Jonas couldn’t help but laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair laughing.

Annalise turned to the blond. “It’s not funny,” she pouted, going over to cry in his arms, “We make pancakes differently in America.” Tears streamed down her face. She tried to sniffle them back.

Jonas nodded, “It kinda is though. Funny, I mean. I have no idea about the different pancakes.” He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her trying to stop himself from laughing.

After calming herself down for a little bit, she realized that they had more skin on skin contact than normal. She pulled away and blushed. She grumbled at him, "go put on a shirt."

Jonas chuckled, "how do I know you won't burn the house down as soon as I turn my back again."

"Well, if I can somehow do that while making cereal with milk, then I have a new magic show," Annalise joked back. She turned and tried to reach up for the box of cereal. She smiled to herself.

Jonas reached up to grab it and teased, “The fiery temptation Lise of burning heart.”

“And silent but ever present, lovely assistant, Jonas,” she teased back, snatching the box from him.

Jonas laughed, “I get it. I get it.” He pressed his head against hers for a second, “I’ll be back soon.” He released himself from her to walk upstairs to finish getting changed.

Annalise smiled as she started to throw away the defunct pancake while she made them bagels instead. She grabbed the jam and placed it on the table along with a few other toppings. This felt nice. As if they were already in love with a house of their own. Annalise hummed as she got everything ready for the two of them. She also started to pack some food for the picnic later. The girl daydreamed of their future life. She moved her hair from her neck so that the image of Jonas in her mind could rest his head there as she worked. Annalise bit her lip thinking of his lips pressed against her neck, not in sorrow, but full of love. The girl didn’t realise she was giggling until she heard his voice.

“Still thinking of our teases,” he asked. Jonas sat at the table. Something felt melancholic about this delightful moment. He sat and ate trying to figure out what it was. Then it hit him. This was basically exactly like before. When his father was around, every breakfast was just like this. He sorrowfully smiled.

Annalise kissed his temple, “Is there something wrong?”

“Hm,” Jonas looked up at her, “Oh, no. I’m sorry. It’s perfect actually.” He smiled, “It just reminds me of some of my happiest days.”

Annalise moved to sit across from him. She smeared jelly across her bagel and took a bite, “Oh?”

Jonas nodded, “Thank you. For everything I mean. It’s nice to have a day of normalcy.”

“Well, if normalcy is what you want, we can…” Annalise trailed off.

Jonas shook his head, “I thought your original plan was better.” He took a bite of his cereal. He smiled at her with a full heart. 

Bartosz stared at his phone. There on his screen was a picture of Annalise on Magnus’s shoulders and Martha on his in the middle of the water trying to knock each other off. Everyone was all smiles then. The four of them were a perfect team and laughs were never scarce. Thinking back to a few minutes after that picture, Magnus tossed Anna off his shoulders, knocking all three of Bartosz, Martha, and her into the water. Bartosz remembered seeing her terrified face for a split moment before Martha and he pulled her up. After she was out of the water, she had panicked with only him seeing it as Martha was already fighting with her brother. The girl was shaking, hyperventilating, and crying. She was doubled over whispering to herself. Every part of her was trembling in an instinctual fear. Right when he reached to touch her shoulder, Anna came back to life. Her smile illuminated once more. She laughed, “Oh. You rightfully won then right? No need to rub it in Bartosz.”

Bartosz smirked and chuckled, “Well there’s no need to cry over losing either, but here we are!” He slicked back his hair from his face while talking to her trying to hide that he was concerned for her. 

Annalise had rolled her eyes, “Thanks I guess.” Her sneer still rang through his mind. He didn’t want to hurt her, but soon Martha and Magnus were at her side taking care of her. There was a flutter in his gut. He knew he did the right thing. As Martha scolded him, he couldn’t take his eyes off Annalise starting to smile once more. A small quiet part of him at the time was delighted seeing her bubbly once more.

Meanwhile, Martha stared at her phone. Neither of the two had texted her since the incident. Her heart ached. She realized now just how much Annalise must have liked the boy. He was something like the boy she described as one of the reasons for her coming to Winden. However, Martha knew for a fact that Jonas was not that boy, because he was with her that day and night. She shook her head off and just tried to focus back on the fact that Jonas had kissed her back. She wasn’t crazy. He loved her. She loved him. This was going to work out fine. Annalise would grow to be okay once she was back home.

Jonas chuckled at Annalise’s hesitation to get on his bike. He shook his head, “I promise we won’t fall.”

“I don’t trust you,” Annalise laughed, “Magnus had a lot more practice with Mikkel and Martha. How much have you had?”

He chuckled, “None.” He laughed seeing her back away from him. He grabbed onto her waist, “No, no, no.” He held her close, “You just have to trust me that I won’t let us.”

Annalise rolled her eyes, “You are insane. Let me go. We can just walk.”

“You said bike ride earlier,” He smiled.

She shook her head, “Fine. But I am not happy.” She handed Jonas the basket which he tied to the back. She stood on the cogset. Annalise hid a smile in his hair as they took off. 

It was not long before they both were there laying on the sandy beach eating, laughing, playing. The two teenagers finally having a moment of rest together before the next day arose.

That next day in 1953, Ulrich sat outside the bunker. He was in awe and disbelief of what he had done. Had he really killed a child. If so, why was he still here? His hands shook as he cried. He really had just killed a child.

Bernd sat in Egon’s office. He was there to report Helge’s disappearance. He was terrified the people who were against the powerplant had taken his son. He needed to know that they were going to find Helge.

Egon walked into his office, “Mr. Kahnwald told me that… your son has gone missing.”

“Yes, since yesterday,” Bernd confirmed.

Egon asked, “And when was that exactly?”

“My wife said it was around three o’clock,” Bernd explained. Egon started to hurriedly make notes as the man leaned over, “Mr. Tiedemann, I want you to find my son. Whatever it costs. I don’t care about anything else. The nuclear power plant, anything at all. Just bring me back my son.” He put his hat on and excused himself out of the man’s office.

Greta sat with Noah and confessed, “I prayed to God to get rid of the child before it was ever born. And after I had him, I prayed every day that something would befall him. Because he may not be Bernd’s child. Because maybe he wasn’t a child created out of love, but…” She trailed off then sighed looking at the paster, “That’s what’s in my head. Every day. I can’t escape it. It’s my fault.”

Noah shook his head, “We are all full of sin. No pure human being exists. But no matter what we do, we never fall any lower than into God’s hands.”

“And what if they aren’t God’s hands,” Greta asked him, “What if they are the hands of the devil?”

Noah comforted her. He gently placed a hand on top of her clasped ones in her lap, “God sent me to you. Did he not? We don’t meet the people we meet by accident. We touch the lives of others and are touched ourselves, and thus God’s hands guide us to our true destiny. Let us pray. Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil… for you are with me...  ” Noah looked at the picture of Helge and turned back to her, “your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Ulrich walked along the road with his head down when Egon spotted him. Right when Ulrich realized what was happening. He took off running into the woods. He tried to make it to the caves, but the young Egon tackled him to the ground. When Ulrich was able to crawl away, Egon pulled his gun and shot it into the air.

“Stop,” He commanded. He then pointed his gun at the man who slowed his pace to a stop. Ulrich placed his hands out already knowing the drill. “Hands up,” Egon yelled, “What did you do to the two boys at the construction site?” He asked. Ulrich turned to the man. Egon then asked, “Where’s Helge? That was you too.”

Ulrich asked, “The two boys? That’s impossible. They can’t be there. I changed that.” 

“What did you change,” Egon asked, keeping the gun up.

Ulrich panted from running so hard, “The course of time. Helge’s dead. Helge can never be able to kill again.”

“You’re a madman,” Egon shook his head at Ulrich, “Go on, turn around. Turn around! Down!” Egon kicked behind Ulrich’s knees annoyed at how slow Ulrich was going, “On your knees!”

“But I changed it,” Ulrich whispered to himself as Egon started to cuff the man.

Down in the bunker, Helge sprang to life causing the second canister in the time machine to go up.

In 1986, Boris ran through the forest trying to get away from the cops. He held his shoulder and bag as he limped. He could hear the dogs barking trying to get to him and find him. He ducked behind a tree and lifted his mask up to take it off. He then placed it on his wound while hiding his gun in his jeans.

Seeing Katharina standing outside by herself, Hannah walked over to her. Katharina turned her head and blew her cigarette smoke in her face, “Piss off.”

Hannah stayed and asked, “I just wanted to know, is Ulrich still in prison?”

Katharina tilted her head and replied, “They have to release him today.”

“Did Tiedemann say who told him,” Hannah asked.

Katharina shook her head at the young girl’s question and took another puff of her dirty habit.

“And you and Ulrich,” Hannah asked.

Katharina looked at Hannah and asked, “What about us?”

“I don’t know,” Hannah answered, “Won’t your mom freak out if you keep seeing him?”

Katharina nodded but shrugged, “I don’t care. Nobody’s going to come between us. That’s love, you know. It’s stronger than hate. But you don’t get that yet. If I find out who told the cops that… I’m going to clobber them.”

Hannah started to calculate things. She looked up and said, “Maybe it was Regina. I mean, Tiedemann is her grandfather.” After that seed was planted, she turned and said, “See you.” She left Katharina to her thoughts.

After school, Ulrich held Katharina. His chin on her shoulder as they leaned up against the lumber. Katharina commented, “I can’t believe you were in jail Ulrich. That’s really harsh.”

Ulrich took her cigarette out of her hand and smoked a bit of it himself. After, he handed it back to the girl and blew the smoke out. He went back to cuddling her. 

“Why does Tiedemann have it in for you,” She asked after flicking off some of the ash to the ground and handing it back.

Ulrich half-jokingly commented, “He thinks I’m the AntiChrist.”

Katharina giggled until she saw Regina walking home. She stormed over to her, “Hey, Tiedemann! Damn four-eyes!” As Regina took off her headphones, Katharina pushed her, “I know what you did. You trying to get me back for the summer? It was a game. We wouldn’t have left you hanging there all night. We couldn’t have known you were so damn fragile!” Katharina pushed her again.

Regina trembled. She bent down to pick up her violin, “I have to go.” She tried to leave, but Katharina pushed her away from her instrument.

“You see this,” Katharina asked, “My mom did this. And why? Because you fed your grandpa bullshit!”

Regina cried out, “I didn’t! Honest!”

“Rape,” Katharina growled, “is that the best you could come up with?”

Ulrich grabbed onto his girlfriend’s wrist trying to get her to back down, “Come on Katharina.”

The girl pulled away from him and whispered down to Regina, “You make me sick.” She took her knee and shoved the girl in the stomach with it. 

Regina doubled over in pain and agony.

Boris walked out of the forest seeing a blonde girl beating up a smaller brunette. He yelled, “Hey, stop!”

“Screw off,” Katharina yelled at the boy, “It’s none of your business.”

He continued to walk to them, “I told you to stop.”

Katharina pushed Regina away from her, “And I told you to screw off.”

Boris looked at them. He motioned to Regina and said, “Apologize to her.” When Katharina didn’t move, he took out his gun and cocked it, “I said you should apologize.”

Ulrich started to back off knowing that the other boy was serious. 

“And how do I know it’s real,” Katharina asked.

Boris took the magazine to show the girl that it was full and placed it back in. He pointed it back at her again and said, “You two get the hell out of here, and fast. And if you hurt her again, I’ll finish you.”

The couple quickly ran away. Boris limped over to Regina. He put his gun away and placed a hand on her shoulder, “Everything’s okay.” 

Regina’s breath was taken away. She stared at him. When she finally took her breath back, she smiled, “Thanks.” 

Boris nodded. He then collapsed backwards. He reached into the inside of his jacket to check his wound again.

“You’re bleeding,” Regina said, concerned.

Boris started to sit up again, “It’s not so bad.”

Regina shook her head, “You have to see a doctor.”

Boris shook his head at her scared that they were going to find him if she took him to the hospital.

Regina offered, “We have bandages. My mother isn’t home. I can do it.” When she watched Boris nod, Regina asked, “What’s your name?”

“Aleksander,” Boris lied.

A middle aged Helge walked out of the bunker with one of the belts and a pan. He had no idea he was being watched by the older version of himself. Helge walked inside the cabin to go to clean it up as well as start on his art project. 

After being cleaned up, the, now, Aleksander took all the evidence and buried it while being watched by Hannah. After he finished with that, he walked into Claudia’s office. He introduced himself with a cocky smile.

“So you’re a friend of my daughter’s,” Claudia asked, “And all this time I thought she didn’t care about boys.” She stood in front of her desk.

Aleksander nodded, “I’m new in town. Looking for work. Regina told me you might be able to help me.”

Claudia asked, “Do you have training?”

“I’m a metal worker,” he explained, “I can work. Hard. I’m a fast learner.”

The woman looked him over, “You’re not from here?”

“All I’m asking for is a chance,” Aleksander said.

Claudia stood up, “I’m sorry. We don’t need anyone at the moment. But maybe we will soon. Where can I reach you?”

“I’ll just come by again tomorrow,” the boy explained with a smile.

While this happened, Regina started to brush out her curls trying to straighten them.

Noah worked with the middle aged Helge on the chair. Helge shook and asked, “Why doesn’t it work?”

“It will, be patient,” The man told Helge, “Do you think Einstein would have given up so fast? It is the fate of pioneers to persistently pursue their aim. To believe, although no one believes.”

Helge shook his head, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” He held the screwdriver tightly, “Why would God want any of this?”

“Yes,” Noah said, walking towards him, “Why would God want any of this? After looking into hell, as you have, it can never be forgotten. It becomes a part of you. And the idea of God, of Jesus the Savior, becomes a thread of hope you cling to. All of us who know the darkness long for the light, but… There is no God!” Noah topk Helge’s hand, “God didn’t make this hole among us. God doesn’t have a plan. There is no plan at all. There’s nothing but chaos out there. Pain… and chaos!”

Helge started to panic as Noah continued to talk and start to take the screwdriver to poke it into his stomach. 

Noah then held Helge, “People are bad. Malicious, evil. Life is nothing but a spiral of pain.” He pat the man’s back, “And the world is doomed to be destroyed. But this here… This is our ark and I’m Noah. If we can harness this energy, we can change everything. Then we decide the world’s fate, far removed from all the evil and from all the pain. We’ll create a time machine. That reorders everything, the beginning and the end.”

The third canister lifted in the time machine as the third event fell into place then.

In 2019, Hannah stood on the counter to grab a small box down from on top the cabinets. The kids were God knows where. Those two were, thankfully, up each other’s asses as of late. She was hard pressed to think of a time she saw one without the other close behind. It kind of sickened her to see them so wrapped up in their own little world. Like no one else in it mattered. Yet, it was nice to see her son smiling like he had before his father passed. She placed the box down on the table and removed the bag of evidence against Boris.

Magnus kissed Franziska. Before he could steal another one, she pushed him away and said, “I have to go.”

Magnus reached over to his night stand and handed Franziska her eagle necklace, “Here.”

“Where did you get this,” Franziska asked the boy.

Magnus told her, “I found it under the bridge.”

“Just because we fuck doesn’t mean you have to know everything about me,” she complained as she put on her pants.

Magnus grabbed her hand and pulled her down to meet him. He caressed her face, “I don’t want to hurt you, okay? I want to know who you are. Who you really are.” 

Franziska shook her head and placed his hand down, “Not today, okay?” She stood and left.

Martha sat watching the television upset still. She grabbed her phone and tried to call Jonas.

Jonas sat in his room listening to Annalise take a shower. He played with the red knot in his hand when his phone started to ring. He tried to ignore it with tears filling his eyes. It wasn’t long before he heard Lise’s water turn off. He walked and sat with his back against the door with his eyes closed just wanting to be as close to her as he could be. He missed the happiness and the carefreeness of the previous day. He missed the world that was just he and Annalise where their phones stayed at the house where neither of them would be bothered.

“Hey,” Martha told Jonas’s voicemail, “It’s me. Call me back, for crying out loud!”  She was getting frustrated. What was going on with those two? She huddled with her knees in her sweater. Then she looked towards the stairs hearing someone hurry down. When she looked, she saw the redhead. “Franziska,” she asked confused.

Franziska nodded, “Martha.” Then she turned and left.

Magnus walked in and sat next to his pale faced sister. He ignored her disgusted stare behind her tear stained face. 

“Why is it that we all keep our secrets from one another,” Martha asked her brother.

Magnus sighed and grabbed the remote, “Somethings you just want to keep to yourself.” He fought so hard to not make a smarter comment at the girl about the things he knew. He already knew his sister had been crying over it, so he decided to just let her sit with the guilt. Just like how Annalise was doing.

Bang, Bang, Bang yelled the Kahnwald’s door. Hannah walked over to answer it and said, “Katharina! This is a surprise.”

Katharina stormed in, “Where is he?”

“Who,” asked Hannah.

Katharina growled, “Don’t act so stupid. Ulrich! Is he here?” She looked up the stairs.

Hannah turned around innocently and walked into the kitchen, “No. Why would he be here?”

“You lying piece of shit,” Katharina growled rushing at Hannah. She pushed her, “How long has it been going on? A month? Half a year? Or longer?” When Hannah started to stutter, Katharina mimicked her then yelled, “I don’t know where my son is! And I don’t know where my husband is! My husband! Do you understand?” Katharina tapped on the counter next to the trapped Hannah and asked, “Did you fuck here?” She then stormed to the table and shook it, “Or here?” She paced back to Hannah and asked, “Or in my house? In my bed?”

Hannah calmly told Katharina, “He isn’t here.”

Katharina stared at her, “Is it fun for you? Yeah? Does it turn you on? Destroying the lives of others? My life and my children’s lives? Did you think about that when you stuck your scrawny ass out to him?” Katharina harshly grabbed Hannah’s ass for emphasis.

Hannah just calmly walked away and played with her hands. “It’s over,” Hannah told Katharina, “It’s over.” She walked over to the sink and heard Katharina collapse in a chair at the table. Slowly Hannah slid into one of the other chairs. “I ended it,” Hannah lied, “I never wanted any of it. But… he just didn’t let up. You know how he can be. He wanted to leave you. I told him that was crazy.  He said that he didn’t love you anymore. That he loves me. But I want you to know that’s it’s over now, Katharina. It’s over.”

Katharina shook her head and started to cry. 

Bartosz sat in his house playing video games trying to get out all of his aggression. He noticed an old lady walking up to his house. He walked to the door and opened it, “Can I help you?”

“You must be Bartosz,” She said, “I’m Claudia, your grandmother. Is your mother home?”

“My mother told me you died before I was born,” Bartosz argued.

Claudia nodded, “I’m sure your mother told you lots of stories about me. Only some of them are true.” She walked inside and chatted with her grandson, “It looks so different than it did. There was no addition.”

Bartosz lounged back on the sofa staring at her, “Why did Mom tell me you’re dead?”

“For your mom, I’m sure I am,” Claudia admitted, “I wasn’t a particularly good mother, you know. You’re a lot like the two of them. Your eyes. Your chin. You look a lot like your parents.”

Bartosz sat up and then asked, “If you’re not dead, where were you all these years?”

Claudia sighed, “that’s a long story. Maybe I’ll tell you one day.”

“Regina won’t be home till late,” Bartosz tried to get her to explain, “Are you going to wait or…?”

Claudia shook her head, “Not today. I have to take care of something.” She reached into her pocket and handed Bartosz a note, “I want you to give her this. Will you do that for me?” Bartosz opened it and looked at a picture of his grandmother and Regina from when she was his age, “That was before. Before that summer and everything else that followed it. I made lots of mistakes back then. Believe me, if I could turn back time, I would do lots of things differently.”

Today, Hannah was called in by Aleksander to give him a massage. She did her job for him as she normally did, but then grabbed the bag and placed it on the ground in front of him, “Do you recognize this? All these years I’ve wondered why I kept it. But there’s a time for everything. Don’t worry. The contents are in safe keeping.”

“What do you want,” Aleksander asked.

Hannah asked, “Why do some people have everything and some nothing? Why do you and Regina have a beautiful home and I can’t even pay my electrical bill? Why does fate predestine a good life for some and not for others?”

“Do you want money,” he asked.

Hannah replied, “I don’t want any money. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to destroy Ulrich. I want him to lose everything. Everything.”

“How am I supposed to do that,” the man asked desperately, “What do you have in mind?”

Hannah wiped off her hands and told him, “I don’t give a damn how you do it or who you pay, just destroy him.” She took her bag, before she left she said, “Boris Niewald. Interesting name. I think it suits you much better.”

It was raining when Annalise and Jonas finally decided to go and grab some food for themselves. Annalise sighed and hummed. She had left her umbrella at the school from the play so she didn’t exactly have something prepared. Jonas looked at her and commented, “You can go grab an old jacket of mine upstairs. I’ll start getting going. Just come meet up with me. I’ll go slow. Just take the back way out of the house.”

Annalise nodded. She smiled and said, “See you soon.” She ducked back into the house and ran upstairs.

Jonas sighed and put on his hood to his raincoat and grabbed his bike. He started to walk onto the road when he was stopped by a brunette in the road. He slipped off his hood and walked up to her. 

“Hello,” Martha greeted him.

Jonas stared at her, “Hello.” He stood there for a second then said, “I have to go.” He tried to walk past her.

Martha held out her arm and barked, “You have to go? Can you tell me what’s going on? I’ve been trying to reach you for days and you don’t even write back!” She panted angrily then asked, “What was that after rehearsal?” When Jonas didn’t reply, she continued, “You just make out with me. Did you think, ‘the chick’s unstable, so I’ll take what I can get?’” She stared at him expecting him to say something. When he didn’t, she shoved him yelling, “God, say something!” 

Jonas stood there thanking everything that Annalise was taking her sweet time trying to find an old jacket of his to wear and to get back outside. He would have hated to see Martha’s reaction to seeing Annalise there with him. Jonas honestly didn’t know what to say to Martha though. He went with the simple answer, “It was wrong.”

“What was wrong,” Martha asked him. Her frustration grew more.

Jonas tried his hardest not to let his emotions get to him, “The thing with us. It wasn’t right.”

“Because of Bartosz,” Martha asked.

Jonas swallowed, “No, not because of Bartosz.”

“Annalise then,” Martha asked frantically.

Jonas shook his head, “No. It has nothing to do with her. Because of us. It…” This hurt him more than anything to say. He had been hoping to avoid the breaking of his own heart as well as hers for days now. He was thankful the rain was hiding his tears, “We’re just not a good match, okay?”

“We’re not a good match,” Martha asked frenziedly. 

Jonas nodded annoyed that she wouldn’t just leave him alone in his misery, “Yeah. We’re not a good match. The whole thing is wrong. We’re wrong.” He tried to get past her again.

Martha stood in front of him and pressed her lips against his. When she kissed him, she could feel him kissing back. Satisfied with that, she pulled away to see Jonas still barely moving from his spot from kissing her back. “So this is wrong,” She asked when he opened his eyes.

Jonas let a small nod out. He pulled away from her and walked away, “I’m sorry.”

Annalise popped out from behind the house and hopped up to show her head over the fence, “Hey Jonas.” She smiled in one of his oversized hoodies. The hood was so huge on her.

“Hey there dummy,” Jonas greeted her, “go around. You won’t make it over that side unless you get help and I’m not doing it. Because we will both fall, get wet, and you will rip my hoodie.”

Annalise pouted, “Fine.” She ducked back down not even noticing Martha was there. She ran to the other fence and jumped it to join Jonas.

Martha could hear him ask her, “What took you so long?” Her eyes started to fill with tears seeing them together. Jonas didn’t seem happy at first, but he wasn’t unhappy either. She could tell that he cherished her. Annalise just radiated so much happiness and devotion when she was with him. There was no one else in the world when they were together. Annalise danced around him while she could see him starting to liven back up from her antics. What truly broke her though, was that those two didn’t even need to kiss. Jonas just grabbed her to have Annalise next to him. With that, Annalise slipped her arm into his and laced her fingers with his. She put her head on his shoulder as they walked. Martha started to sob.

Aleksander stared at the bag as he started to make a few calls about Ulrich. He was so scared now. About the truck and his future.

Now the machine now whirled to life as the final piece started to fall into place.

Bartosz stood outside waiting for Noah. He got into the car and told the man, “You were right. Everything you predicted has happened.” He leaned his head against the window. It looked as though he had been crying before Noah had arrived. 

“Did you think about my offer,” Noah asked. 

Bartosz nodded, “Yes.”

In 1953, young Tannhaus disassembled the cellphone that Ulrich had left in his house. The grayed Claudia walked in effortlessly. The man stood up and asked, “Can I help you?”

She looked around then said, “I think I have something that could interest you.” She took out plans for the time machine and spread it out, “I want you to build this for me. It’s something that will set the course of time straight.”