#2x05: long time gone

[thewayhomehallmark]

[popwirenet]

We discuss #TheWayHome episodes "Long Time Gone" & "How to Save a Life" 💦🕰️🏡

[cbrownjc]

The one thing that I don’t get is if Devil’s Minion happened during the 70s, that means that Armand was basically leaving an heavily injured Louis alone in their house for long periods of time. In the book, Daniel and Armand basically move in together and spend all their time together. The Chase also seems like a full time job. I feel like Armand wouldn’t go do that, as he’s still madly in love with Louis during that time. He’d probably devote all of his time taking care of him. Or do vampires just heal faster, even with significant burns?

Hi!

So see, The Chase is actually why I think it was clever of the show to have Louis attempt what he did when he did, and be so severely injured by it. Because, as I said here, Louis having such extensive burns means there is really only one way for him to truly heal from them quickly and that is if he does the same thing Lestat had to do in the books when he was severely burned in the same way in the books and I feel we will see him be on the show (and probably was doing when Armand contacted him in 2x05 back in 1973) -- and that is to go underground, into the very earth itself, to sleep for a time and heal.

See, that is one reason Louis begged Armand to put him in his coffin at one point after he was hurt. Vampires heal quicker from injuries when they are in their coffins. And they heal even more quickly -- and grow even more strong in their abilities and powers -- if they go into the earth to sleep for a time.

In the books, Lestat went to sleep underground in the earth for 55 years from all the heavy injuries he got -- first when Claudia slit his throat, then when Louis set him on fire, and then, in Paris when Armand threw him off a tower. Lestat went underground, into the earth, to sleep from 1929 to 1984, to heal from all of that.

So I think Louis likely did the same thing for a short time after he and Armand left Daniel at the drug den -- Louis went into the earth to sleep and heal from his wounds.

And when a vampire is in the earth asleep, they are at their most safe from harm. Even during the burning from Akasha, the vampires who were asleep underground were not burned by her, because they couldn't be burned while within the ground. I'm only up to Chapter 15 of Prince Lestat, but that is a word and tactic that is being broadcast by Benji for all vampires to do during the worldwide second burnings -- to go into the earth, underground, if a burning begins where they are to escape it.

So in truth, Louis wouldn't actually need Armand to watch or take care of him once he was in the earth, underground, asleep. Because that's how Daniel actually first met Armand in the books. Armand was just hanging out at Lestat's house for decades, waiting for Lestat to wake up again while Lestat was asleep underground. Armand didn't need to watch or take care of Lestat as he was doing so -- Armand was just there because he had nowhere else to go. So when Daniel stumbled into Lestat's house looking for him, chasing Daniel actually gave him something to do.

And so I think the same will be true wrt the show. Once Louis goes into the earth to sleep and heal, Armand really isn't going to be needed by Louis for however long Louis sleeps underground. Just like in the books when it came to Lestat doing the same thing.

In fact, I can see a parallel with Lestat and Louis now both being underground and asleep at this point in time in the show, both healing from everything they have both gone through, as I honestly expect Lestat to also get severely burned during the events of Paris, just as we saw Louis get burned in 2x05.

So yeah, once Louis is safely underground, Armand will basically be by himself for however long that may last. And I can see his curiosity with that boy Louis called "fascinating" occupying his mind again, and him deciding to check up on that boy out of curiosity. And, as I said here, Daniel remembering the first interview still -- as well as the inspiring words he now had on repeat in his mind -- I think is going to have Daniel first looking for Louis and then, failing to find him again, will have him try to find Lestat.

Because in the books, all Daniel did to find Lestat's Garden District house -- which Lestat was sleeping under at the time -- was to go through property ownership documents in the Hall of Records in New Orleans, and find Lestat's name listed, right there, for a few properties, the Garden District house being one of them. Daniel, of course, would have never been able to actually get to Lestat himself, because Lestat was deeply buried under the earth at that time, but he still found the house easy. And then, when he arrived there, that's when Armand first caught him and locked him in the cage.

One of the things about The Chase I always wondered about before now wrt the show's version of it was what Louis would have been doing during it, as I always thought it was critical that only Armand and Daniel be involved in it. This is the main reason I thought The Chase in the show would only last a year or so, instead of the 4 years it lasts in the books.

But now, with Louis being so severely burned, I think that gives the answer. Just like Lestat, Louis will go into the earth, underground, to sleep and heal. And, just like in the books when Lestat did the same, Armand will be alone and on his own while he waits for Louis to wake up again. Which will probably take some years to happen.

And the only reason I don't think Louis will be asleep for the whole time Devil's Minion happened in the past -- which was 12 years in total -- is because of Louis calling Daniel "our boy." Meaning I think, at some point, Louis was with Armand and Daniel both sometime after Armand and Daniel fell in love and came together while Louis was asleep, and he and Daniel became even closer friends during that time. But who knows? Maybe Louis just calls Daniel "our boy" because of what took place during those 3-4 nights back in 1973 and nothing else, and Louis just sees Daniel as a "testament to their companionship" or whatever, and he really was underground asleep during almost the whole of Armand and Daniel's relationship. That is very possible as well IMO.

At any rate, I do think there might be something to Armand saying that he and Louis have been together "for 70 years" in the bedroom scene in episode 2x01, but then Louis saying they've been together "for 77 years" at the top of episode 2x02. Armand could have just been speaking in general numbers, or . . . maybe there is a 7-year gap when they weren't together. And maybe that gap is talking about the years Louis spent underground asleep and healing -- which it's clear that Louis himself wouldn't remember in the present-day, since he didn't even remember attempting to kill himself in the first place (thanks to Armand's memory reprogramming on him). And, during that 7-year gap, that is when The Chase happened, as well as 3 of the 8 years Armand and Daniel were fully together after confessing being in love with each other as well.

Which, come to think of it . . . if you do the math on that? 1973 + 7 years takes you to the year 1980. And if you look at Daniel's LinkedIn page, his writing credits didn't really start accumulating until 1981. As Daniel said himself, the 1970s are just a blur to him. And this could be why.

So I can imagine Louis waking up around 1980 or so and learning from Armand that he and Daniel are now together. And yes, I think Louis would be okay with it -- because hell, at least Armand wasn't alone while Louis was asleep healing, and Louis himself already has a fondness for Daniel anyway. (All of this happening being something Louis doesn't remember anymore now of course).

But between Daniel's growing career and Alice somehow coming into the picture sometime in the 1980s (because yes, I do think Alice is real, even if I also think a lot of Daniel's memories of her are really memories about Armand), things begin to go sour, with Daniel probably insecure because -- like in the book -- Armand kept refusing to turn Daniel so they can be together forever, and Armand reluctant to turn Daniel for a host of reasons I mentioned in this post, as well as probably not trusting Daniel to not run off and leave him once he is immortal (which is also a fear that Armand had wrt turning Daniel).

Anyway, so yeah, I actually think the reveal of Louis' burns strengthens the argument that Devil's Minion happened in the past because it now gives us an idea of what was going on with Louis not only during the time of The Chase, but also quite possibly the first 3 or so years of Armand and Daniel being a fully in-love couple. And that is that Louis went underground, into the earth, to sleep and heal. Just like Lestat was probably also doing from his own post-Paris wounds and injuries at that same time. Louis and Lestat both were safe underground in the earth -- which is the main way for vampires to heal faster from heavy wounds while being safe while they do so -- and didn't need anyone watching over them or taking care of them.

And so, just like in the book with Lestat when he was underground asleep (because in the books Armand and Louis had already long broken up and gone their separate ways when Armand was just hanging around Lestat's house waiting for him to be fully healed and wake up again), I feel the same thing likely happened on the show with Louis. Louis was asleep underground, in the earth, healing; and Armand was alone and left to his own devices because of that when The Chase between him and Daniel first began.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 15 I was born something

Chapter 15 of Moonlight

A/N- Soulmatism is both being called to power at the same time, one shrouded by darkness and the other illuminated by bright flames.

Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy and sexual harassment, ser gwayne (not bad I just want to say he's in this chapter tehe) angst!!, fluff!!, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- 2x05-and the very beginning of 2x06

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

He listened to your breaths as they came and went. They’re calm, and the most sweetest song.

Worry once plagued him, it clashed into him the moment he saw you falling under that fainting spell, he was lucky to have been so close otherwise, you would have hit the ground. Yet he didn't take that as a sign of luck at that moment. His worry brought out the worst of his anger he is willing to admit, but why shouldn’t he be upset?

He saw you fall, you could have been dying, and there’s nothing that he could’ve done to prevent death from taking you away from him, so all he knew how to be was desperate. There was no other emotion that would’ve felt right, not even as the maester was checking you.

Did it help in that situation? No, you would have told him that, his mother would have told him that, but he didn’t care, he was terrified until the exact moment the maester revealed you were with child with twins. He felt a bliss wash over him at that moment, like the sun breaking through dark clouds made by a raging storm.

Yet his worry was all but gone, it lingers even still, like sprinkling rain after the worst of the storm. He admires you as you sleep, he admires the way the sun kisses your soft skin making you illuminate even more divine than you already are. He takes note of the way your eyelashes kiss your skin, and the way your lips gently rest on each other. He could watch you for hours on end, his peace in the chaos of the world, his way of life; without you, life would be dull, lifeless, bleak, black and white, boring, and almost pointless.

How could other people find a way to love someone else? Sure he seeked company in someone, it’s his greatest sin and he will never commit it again. Not even if you die. If it was his responsibility to have more children to secure his succession then he would do his duty, but he wouldn’t love her, he would think of you, your smile, your laugh, your beauty, your touch, and your enchanting song because he knows no one would ever love him like you love him.

It’s pretty foolish of you to love him after what he’s done to break your heart, but for some reason, you keep clinging onto him like when you were young. You had a chance to escape, to laugh and point with the others, but you never did, and you never have. It’s perhaps the only weakness in you, but he’s grateful, blessed, and glad that you continue to love him unconditionally.

It’s why he has to protect you. You and your son—your children.

“Aemond.”

He hears the call and looks at the intruder who barged in without warning; seeing his mother walking in with worry filtered in her big brown eyes.

“How is she?” She asks.

Aemond returns his attention to you in hopes you’ll wake soon and continues to stroke your knuckles with his thumb as he refuses to let your hand go.

“The maester said she will be fine,” Aemond shares. “It was her grief and the fact that she did not eat.”

Alicent walks down the two steps that lead to the bed and watches her son and his refusal to miss a single breath that escapes you.

“How did you tell her?” She asks with a hint of judgment clinging onto her. “I hope you did not just blurt it. She may be on our side, but the others are still her family that she loves, you need to be careful when you share such dark words.”

Aemond huffs and turns his head to pass her a brief glare that she misses as she watches you.

“Did you know?” He asks and chooses not to comment on the fact that he knows how to talk to you, he’s no imbecile. “She’s with child.”

Alicent’s brown eyes find him and he quickly looks back at you. “Yes, Helaena told me last night. She just found out, which is why I warn you that you need to be—”

“I know,” he cuts his mother off impatiently. “I know how to talk to her. I’m no fool. I’m not…mhm,” he chooses to leave Aegon out of the conversation.

“Twins, Helaena says,” Alicent chooses to ignore what was at the tip of his tongue and reaches the foot of the bed to watch Aemond and his short-lived bliss. “Congratulations. You must be happy.”

Aemond tilts his head, making his hair cascade over his shoulder and hide the faint smile that tugs on his lips, and stays while he reaches his hand over to caress your belly with a feathered touch.

Before he can express his joy, or give any positive reaction at all, he takes a deep breath as if the next words that are coming out of him are going to hurt to say, causing his happiness to dimishness as worry makes itself plain to see.

“One…twin is smaller than the other the maester says,” he says in a voice that’s so rare for Alicent to hear nowadays. “What does that mean?”

He looks over at his mother for help, for reassurance that it will be fine. As if her words were the salvation.

“Just that,” she tries to comfort Aemond’s worry that begins to ache her own heart even if she tries hard to fight it. “Sometimes it tends to happen with twins, one takes more than the other, but,” she breathes out deeply and looks at you with more worry than she offered her son. “It’s still early, it will resolve.”

Aemond’s eye stays on his mother to take in more comfort but when he finds none his eyes return to you and tries to believe the little help his mother offered with a faint smile—No, he smirks now and this time Alicent doesn’t miss it.

“This war will take a lot from us, but my children will be the future of my house. I will make sure of it,” he says, making Alicent’s lips twitch to a frown while her eyebrows knit together with conflict brought by his choice of words.

A gleam proceeds to catch her eyes and when she locates where it comes from, she sees Aegon’s Valyrian steel dagger strapped to his belt as if it was a trophy he won and needed to show off to everyone who had eyes.

“Be easy on her,” Alicent musters as she breathes out her conflict. “And don’t involve her in your warpath, Aemond.”

He scoffs but doesn’t counter, he instead interjects softly. “She won’t be happy about it.”

Alicent chuckles breathlessly. “No, she will not, it seems she inherited her ferocity from both parts of her family.”

He hums and slides his hand away from your belly to cup your hand with both of his large hands to be able to bring your hand up and kiss your knuckles.

“She won’t wake,” Aemond mutters ever so softly with a hint of desperation that escapes as if asking for help without outright expressing it at this moment where it’s just her and him.

“Give her time,” she offers him some console. “The maester said she will be fine, so she shall. She’s lost a lot in a short time…it’s not easy. “

Aemond answers with silence whilst he brings your hand down to rest it on the bed without letting it actually escape from the security of his hold.

“My Prince,” a third visitor interjects in the silence and steals the attention of both Aemond and Alicent. “King Aegon’s carriage is approaching the city.”

At the mention, Aemond sits up straight, and that softness that his features were cast under slowly hardens just as he gives the guard a response. “Let me know when he’s reached the Red Keep.”

Alicent watches the guard take in Aemond’s demand without hesitance before he takes off, leaving her troubled by her conflict as she watches her son act too unbothered by what befell his brother.

He should be furious, but his rage is missing. He should be overcome with worry that his King and older brother was wounded in battle, but his worry is just placed on you and you alone.

——

*YOU*

She was there, the day you touched the clouds for the first time. She was there when you knew nothing was better than being a part of the never-ending sky. She was there because the first dragon you ever rode was Meleys.

“My mother was seven years old when she first took to the skies,” you remember pointing out with disappointment because you just turned seven and you could not mount your dragon yet. You were too young, your mother said.

You never realized then that she was just protecting you, after all the sickness that plagued you since you were a babe had barely been expelled from your body, she just wanted to make sure that nothing took you from her just as she was assured you would live a long life after all.

Nevertheless, that disappointment was short-lived, your grandmother had made sure of that.

“Actually I talked to your mother and guess what?” She began to tease you while you caressed Meleys’ snout much to your dragon's jealousy.

“What is it?” You’re too impatient to play.

A smile brightens her face before she gives you the answer. “You can fly with me. I know it’s not the same as flying your own dragon, but that time will come soon. As for now, we can mount Meleys together and we can take to the skies together as a name day present from me.”

You remember the joy that overcame you at that moment. Sure you still wanted to mount your own dragon, but her offer did satisfy that desire. It is like having a snack when you’re hungry, it does not fulfill you but it does keep you satisfied for a while. That’s how it was. You were satisfied at that moment, you were happy to be in the sky. It was the best moment of your life, you knew you would die happy if death had chosen to take you that day.

It was an exaggeration, of course, you realized that not long after, but you were only seven then and you were in the clouds for the first time. You could finally stop imagining how they felt because you could feel the moistness soak your fingertips as you tried to reach them while Meleys ascended higher. And when she was lost within the fluffy white clouds, the water soaked your face, but you did not care. You were carefree.

Nothing occupied your mind at that moment, nothing worried you. You felt as weightless as the clouds, and you beamed as bright as the sun in the sky. Your dreams hadn’t come true yet, you needed to take to the skies on the back of your own dragon, but the gift of flying for the first time was all thanks to her. She gave you that experience, she made you happy at that moment and never failed to make you happy as you got older. She never stopped protecting you…but…you did fail her.

You’re in King’s Landing for a reason, aren’t you? To report to your family the war plans, the comings and goings of the most valuable members in the Green faction, the decisions that are made around the council table, and any other plans that the Green council may have. You’re here to warn your family so they can get an advantage, so they can get closer to the throne, so they don’t run such a high risk of getting wounded or dying. But your grandmother died regardless.

You failed her, you failed them. You failed at the one thing you were supposed to do and now you lost someone else you love. And the crazy thing is that you don’t hate or blame Aemond for what happened, you blame yourself.

The weight of guilt lies on you because you couldn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do. Because no matter how hard you try you can’t be something valuable. That’s all you wanted, that’s why you left in the first place, to prove to your mother that you could be reliable, that you can be a fierce warrior, that you aren’t just a princess in a castle, and that you can be so much more. You wanted to be so much more, prove to her that you can be important, valuable, and fierce. That part of you is there, you wanted to show her that, but your grandmother died, and with her lies that fight. You feel like nothing now…

Daemon would be so mad…and you shouldn't care what he has to think about you, but how can you not after you failed so miserably? After your grandmother died and her dragon along with her?

You’re mad at yourself—no, you’re furious at yourself. If you had been better perhaps she would still be alive.

“Ready?” You tug yourself away from your train of thought and focus on Aerion before you grab a raw piece of meat from the bowl beside you, and place it down in front of his hatchling.

“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you command.

Shrykos tilts her little head before blinking and glancing at Aerion as if waiting for the okay. But your son can’t answer, he just watches Shrykos, and the hatchling watches him.

“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you repeat the command, making the hatchling now look at the piece of meat in front of her before she opens her mouth and lets out a small blast of fire.

Aerion watches the fire engulf the small piece of meat, the way the flames come out of his dragon's mouth to cook the meat and he can’t help but giggle and wave his fat little arms.

“<Good job, Shrykos,>” you praise the hatchling.

Aerion’s head turns to you and he coos, making a smile spread on your mournful face. “Shrykos,” you repeat to your son, making him study you before he coos after you as if trying to say his dragon's name too.

“Yes!” You clap. “She’s your dragon. Shrykos.”

Aerion coos the same way again and his dragon this time scurries over to him to sit in between his legs.

“Your mother would be delighted to see the way he interacts with his dragon,” Vanessa comments, making you smile wider.

“She would,” you muse and reach over to try and caress your son's head, but you must have reached out to him too quickly because suddenly Shrykos snaps her head towards you and shrieks out at you.

“<Whoa,>” you gasp in surprise yet also awe because she’s grown to be so protective in such a short time. Jacaerys was right, having Aerion bond with a dragon can protect him in ways some guards can’t.

“<It's okay. Calm down, girl.>” You try to ease her worry. “<Calm.>”

The dragon’s eyes don’t leave you for a solid minute, she watches you carefully until Aerion starts to cry.

“She meant no harm,” you assure him as you’re able to grab him now and bring him up with you as you stand to your given height, causing the hatchling to flap her delicate wings to perch herself on your shoulder and remain close to Aerion.

“It’s okay,” you continue to try to console him before you wipe away his tears and press a kiss on his cheek.

Shrykos watches the interaction and stretches her neck out to coo softly at Aerion as if trying to mimic you in calming him down.

“See? She’s just worried about you,” you tell Aerion, and he sniffles just seconds before his attention focuses on the pendant that you found around your neck after you woke up.

“Of course,” you mutter with an amused smile and watch him grab your pendant before he yanks it back towards him, pulling a gasp out of your mouth. “Gods.”

Aerion pulls the pendant to his mouth but you grab his hand and shake your head. Yet before you can pull the pendant away, the doors open and snatch your attention to your husband walking in and coming to an immediate halt when he sees you on your feet.

“Aemond,” you greet him with a faint smile.

Said man takes a step forward and his eye studies you hard as if making sure you’re really there, that you’re not some ghost set out to bid a last goodbye; while also trying to figure out if your smile directed at him is real or feigned. After all, you both know who brought down Meleys and your grandmother. It wasn’t Aegon you both knew that.

Yet no matter how hard or how long his eye remains fixated on you, that sweet smile doesn’t falter or fade, that smile on your face turns to a grin actually.

“What is it?” You break him from his stupor whilst also trying to tug your pendant away from Aerion’s mouth.

“You…” Aemond trails off and finally breaks away from the cast your mere presence put him under to close the distance that keeps you apart. “You should be abed. Not on your feet.”

You roll your eyes and approach Vanessa to hand Aerion to her, causing the little hatchling to disembark your shoulder and instead fly over to Vanessa’s.

“I’m fine,” you direct at Aemond as you turn to face him and find your body moving toward him. “I ate, I—”

“Vanessa,” Aemond snaps at your handmaiden with a glower that you get in between.

“Stop, don’t snap at her, talk to me,” you ease the worry you see weighing down on him.

Aemond’s eye flickers to you, but he also wants to scold Vanessa for not keeping you abed where you’ll be safe so he parts his lips to argue, but you finally meet him halfway and grab his arm, focusing all his attention back to you as if you were the center of the universe.

“Leave her be. I stood up, you know that. I am not an invalid, I just should've been more careful,” you add to your case. “But I ate. I’m feeling stronger already.”

His chest rises high as he takes in a deep frustrated breath before he lets it all go and is left with worry.

Before you can continue to address the matter at hand though, you turn your attention to Vanessa. “Take him to Helaena and Jaehaera, she has Morghul out too, he and Shrykos can bond.”

Vanessa nods and doesn’t linger behind, she leaves your quarters rather quickly, leaving you to face your husband and slide your hand down his arm to grab his hand.

“I’m fine,” you tell him one more. “The news just didn’t settle well, plus I was on an empty stomach, it all just overwhelmed me, but I’m fine…we’re fine,” you finish in a whisper and pull his hand toward you to press his palm against your belly.

“I’m sure the maester broke the news,” you continue with a proud smile that he misses because he watches your intertwined hands caressing the spot where your twins are growing.

“Twins,” he whispers with no worry clinging to his voice, it's soft and full of awe just like his eye.

“That’s why I haven’t been feeling hungry, and why I’ve been uncomfortable,” you address the matter. “They’re the reason.”

Aemond’s eye goes to you and now endearment also accompanies the already sweet feelings his eye expresses. You want to follow up with more, but your lips part, and a single breath escapes past your lips as you stand there feeling seen, appreciated, and loved under his gaze, but also feeling worry and guilt strike your heart as he looks at you.

You want to share it, you want to spill out what troubles you, but your words get caught in your throat when Aemond goes down on one knee and presses a gentle kiss on your belly before he rests his forehead against it.

Now at this very moment, the tension of war is forgotten completely. You exist only in your bliss.

“I wanted to tell you. I had half the mind to fly to Rook’s Rest the moment I found out to tell you, but I resisted my urge,” you share as you swing your arm around his head to caress it gently as he keeps his forehead pressed against your belly. “So can you just pretend I told you and that the maester didn’t ruin it?”

He chuckles softly and tilts his head up to meet your gaze as he remains on one knee. “He also told me about one of them being smaller than the other.” He brings up and the blissful paradise comes crumbling down as the guilt and the worry return.

“Yes, he told me too…” you trail off and gulp. “I-I don’t know what that means. He said he’ll monitor me, but…I’m scared.”

Aemond pushes himself up to tower over you again and grabs your face with a gentle touch as if he's afraid he’ll break you if he's too rough.

“My mother said it happens,” he now comes to your aid even if he doesn’t really know either. “They’ll get stronger and be equal after a while.”

You don’t find comfort in Alicent’s words, you need to hear them from your mother or read her own words to feel completely comforted.

“Ok,” your voice trembles. “Aemond,” you say and grab his hands. “I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows pinch together so you quickly respond to his confusion. “If being with child is an inconvenience right now. Everything is so chaotic, I’m sorry if I have become a burden—”

“Quiet,” he cuts you off and pulls you to him. “Shut up. You are the furthest thing from a burden or an inconvenience. Don’t apologize. Don’t torment yourself. We are blessed. That’s all. The risks you’ll take are just fewer now, but it seems you and Helaena have found more comfort in each other so you won’t be bored here.”

You blink and that worry falls, he helped resolve it. The guilt has diminished as well, but now you’re completely baffled by what he says.

You won’t just sit by the fire, you may be with child, but you will not just sit idly by while he risks his life, while your brother is out there, and while your family still needs you too. Just because you’re expecting doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait like a trapped princess in distress!

“No,” you spat and let his hands go. He sees the fire already engulfing your eyes so he pouts in annoyance whilst he lets your face go too.

“I will not—”

“I will not sit here and wait for you to come back,” you cut him off lividly. “I have a dragon, I have skill! Just because I’m with child—”

“That’s exactly why!” He argues back with quick-growing frustration. “Do you really expect me to send you to fight while you’re expecting?! Do you really think I can just watch you in the sky knowing your state?! It’s like you said…”

You shake your head and turn away as he continues.

“…it takes one arrow, a dragon's jaw, or fire…”

Your eyes shift at the last mention and you almost want to rebuttal with the truth of your…fire resistance, but that would take you down a rabbit hole that you don’t want to fall into at this very moment. You need to make a point and win.

“I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or the twins,” he tries to lure you into the trap using sweet words that usually work. “I would not feel comfortable sending you out to battle now.”

“That’s the difference between me and you,” you counter right away and twist around to face him. “I will wear armor! I had armor made for me, I can protect myself! My dragon will protect me! I will not sit here and do nothing while you are out there! While Sunfyre and Aegon are now indisposed!”

Aemond strides to you, and you stand your ground and challenge him with your enraged glare alone.

“I don’t care what you want or don’t want, you are not going to fight on dragonback or on the ground,” he counters back spitefully with his nose flared and his glare piercing right back at you. “If you try I will lock you in here with a hundred guards. Or I will take you to a tower where you can’t reach your dragon and you’ll be miles away.”

You part your lips but you can’t argue back, you’re caught in disbelief because you know he would be capable of doing that. You’re also too enraged that your words turn to ashes in your mouth by the stupid tears that come to your eyes. Thus instead you snap around to give him your back as you approach the hearth keeping the room warm, and watch the dancing flames with your arms crossed over your chest.

Aemond sighs deeply and leaves the room silent for a moment as he lets his frustration and impatience leave his body before he approaches you from behind.

At first, he breaks the silence with the soft utter of your name before he makes the mistake of brushing his fingertips on your hip, causing you to flinch away out of fear that it was someone else.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters in confusion to your sudden jolt.

You realize what you did and take a deep breath, realizing that your rage gets snuffed out like dying fire.

At first, you did not think you wanted to tell Aemond what Aegon did, but he’s here now, you look at him now; the confusion on his face. You look at your best friend, your husband, and the man that you love, and the words crawl up your throat like bile.

“Aemond,” you whimper and his confusion is lost and replaced by concern once again.

The sound of your lips parting fills your chambers, but a breath is all that comes out. You can’t be outward with it, you’re too afraid, too ashamed, so you close the distance and bring your lips to his ear.

He does look at you completely puzzled albeit that soon diminishes and slowly transforms into livid rage as you whisper the words in his ear. After that, you only pull back when you try to plead your case as if he didn’t believe you right away. He did, you just need him to know desperately.

“I told him to stop, I did, I promise, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. You have to believe me, Aemond.” You cry and he sighs, but that anger doesn’t die, he just musters the softness he can to gently cup your face before he slides his hand down to stroke your chin.

“I believe you,” he whispers so you can hear, and presses his forehead against yours.

“I wanted to fight back,” you keep trying to tell him. “I promise. I…I.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” he coos and brings his hand back up to cradle your cheek and use his thumb to stroke it. “You will be okay.”

He suddenly rips himself away from you and stomps away. You turn to not miss a step and notice him grab his sword while he gets away in a rage, thus you interfere because you know he’s letting his anger steer his thoughts. “Aemond stop!”

He doesn’t falter in his pace, he keeps storming away.

“Aemond!” You cry out. “Stop! Aemond! Please,” you beg and it’s that quiver in your voice that stops him.

“Do you really expect me to stay here knowing what—”

“Stay with me,” you cut him off to tell him what you need the most. “Please don’t go. Just stay.”

Aemond slowly turns around and when he faces you he sees how hard you’re pleading with your teary eyes, and how much you need just his company. Not his rage, not his revenge, just his comfort. His anger does want to get the best of him, but he beats it down with a deep breath and rests his blade against the wall to go to you and immediately wrap you in an embrace.

When you’re surrounded by nothing but the security of his warm arms you let yourself melt in his embrace because you know that nothing and no one can hurt you there.

“Let’s take a bath, hm?” He suggests as he kisses the top of your head. “Me and you.”

You nod softly and after depleting him of all the comfort you need, as the sun leaves the earth and lets the moon and the stars shine, you have a bath drawn where hundreds of candles enlighten the room with their soft glow. Where a soothing incense fills the room, and the warm flames from the hearth near your bath is a warm third body that keeps you company while you relax against Aemond.

“And that one is my favorite song, there’s a certain eeriness to it, but also an enchanting melody that I love,” you muse as you cross one leg over the other.

Aemond hums. “Those have always been my favorite for you to sing,” he muses.

You smile widely, and slither your fingers over his gently caressing your knee, welcoming a silence to the room that causes Aemond to grow uncomfortable yet bold enough to ask one question he’s been holding back out of fear that you will admit that you hate him now, or that you’re only here because of Aerion.

He doesn’t want to hear rejection or see you turn your back on him. He still needs you and he doesn’t want to face potential abandonment. But he also can’t sleep peacefully not knowing how you feel after what he did.

“Can I ask you something?” Aemond brings up quietly before saying your name as if there were more people in this chamber. But there isn’t, it’s just you and him.

“Mhm,” you let him continue and lay your head back on his shoulder to look at him from the corner of your eyes.

“You know it was not Sunfyre or Aegon who brought down Rhaenys or Meleys,” he hesitates to say but he does speak it out loud, and right away he feels how stiff you grow.

“I…know,” you breathe out and slowly sit up, losing contact with his fingers, and causing his fingers on your knee to slip off. “I could read it off you. You weren’t so discreet you know? Maybe you should be a little less smug if you’re going to let Aegon take the win.”

He hums and sits up to press his hand on your back before gently wrapping his arm around your neck to speak by your ear. “Do you…hate me?”

How could you hate him when it’s yourself that you hate for failing her?

There’s no point in thinking. No debate needs to be had, it’s an easy answer that comes from the depths of your wounded heart.

“No,” you whisper, leaving no time for him to doubt your response. “Should I?”

You turn to face him with sincerity bringing tears to your eyes. “I don’t hate you.”

Aemond’s arm slips off you and his eye falls on the water, but rather than trying hard to find his gaze, you actually find his reflection in the water and see a frown on his face; one brought by sorrow and torment over your response.

It’s like he almost wants you to hate him.

“It’s different this time,” you try to explain without bringing up the real reason behind your logic. “She wasn’t a messenger, she wasn’t trying to get away, it was a battle. Death is never fair for people like her, she did not deserve to die, but her death was different because I know that she wouldn’t want to go out any other way. She went out like a dragon warrior. I know she fought hard until her last breath.”

Aemond’s eye climbs up your body and finds your attentive gaze, letting you see his eye clouded with tears and that weight not ease off his body, so you drag yourself in between his legs to cup his cheek and offer him a faint assuring smile.

“I do not hate you,” you assure him and hold his gaze so he can read that you’re being sincere.

When he has the confirmation his heart needs he lets out a deep breath that makes that tension lift off his chest.

“Now,” you change the subject before you start crying, and slide your hand down to hold his knee and gently shake his leg. “You are going to be Prince Regent.”

His lips tug to a faint flustered smile and his eye once again falls on the water.

“Grin, my love, all your hard work will pay off,” you flatter him with a beaming grin. “All that time spent in books, learning from great minds, and working tirelessly will be rewarded.”

Do you really think he has the mind to rule?

Maybe if he hadn't gotten his eye taken out, or if he had seen his father care for him after being maimed then he would be the ruler the Greens need to win, that the kingdoms need, but he’s fueled with anger. His ego is inflated because he never got told that he’s so much more than he knows, so he had to rely on his large dragon for power.

It’s not to say you aren’t proud of him, because you are. He’s worked hard, he’s leaned into his books to gain knowledge. He has a military mind and good swordsman skills. He's the one keeping his family alive, and he has much more logic than Aegon, but a good ruler needs to be more than that.

A good ruler needs to listen to his people, they need to be just but also need to know when to put their foot down. They need to control their emotions even if sometimes they get tested by idiots or people being too daring. They need to know when to pull their blade out to fight, and when to use harsh words instead. Can he do that?

You can’t be sure. To be honest, you are not sure he can, but it’s why he can be the key to getting your mother on the throne.

Is he something important, something so much more that people don’t see? Yes, a hundred times yes. You don’t doubt that, you genuinely are happy that he’s being seen, that he gets to finally prove himself because you know that there’s so much more to him that people don’t see, that they ignore because he’s a second son, and he’s more quiet, like a shadow.

He’s not scary or just intimidating like he lets people believe, he’s smart, he's gentle, he’s so much more than people see and you have always known that. You have always supported that. And that’s what you’re praising, because after all this waiting he’s no longer in the shadows. A light is shining on him. He deserves it.

“Maybe,” Aemond mutters with his smile faltering. “There’s also my mother. She’s Queen Dowager.”

You sit back on your legs and your confusion is clear. “But,” you genuinely argue. “Your mother ruled in a time of peace, and she has no military mind. They couldn’t really consider her. It’s you they’ll pick.”

Aemond meets your gaze and sighs deeply. “I cannot be sure until the morrow.”

You hum and avert your gaze to think if the men around the table will really pick Alicent over the next heir in Aegon's line of succession. It would be pretty stupid to pick Alicent when they’re working hard to remove your mother.

“Well, I'm sure they’ll pick you,” you express your genuine opinion. “They’ll be stupid not to. And you have an heir, maybe more on the way. Perfect choice I’ll say.”

His lips tug up to a soft smile, and your more negative opinions falter at the sight of that smile alone.

“And you,” he piques your interest whilst he leans over to capture your chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger. “You’ll be Princess Regent.”

You gulp nervously and shake your head. “Helaena is alive and healthy, I couldn’t be Princess Regent.” You contradict him, but he continues to press his side.

“My sister is sweet and good, but,” he sighs. “We all know she has no mind to be Queen, she’d rather be outside with her bugs than be anywhere near court, but you…you’re smart, fierce, attentive, and you have the mind to be a good Queen. The people love you and you care for them for some reason. You’ll be good.”

And there it is, your foundations shake at the sound of those sweet words that work like bait like magic to enchant you.

He would consider you, and that makes you consider a change of thought…

Like getting drunk, slowly your mind and your body start to lose yourself to its rich power.

“You think so?” You mumble softly with your eyes full of desperation to be told you can be so much more.

“I know it. You and I would be a powerhouse everyone would respect,” he doesn’t take back his opinion and it’s a dangerous thing. He needs to stop.

Stop.

Stop…

But you can’t help but smile like an idiot as your heart gets fed more of that addicting honey it can never get enough of. It’s all you ever wanted deep down. it’s a dream you even shared with Cregan and Arra…

But…no!

No! No…

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

“They will name you regent,” you try to reassure him as you fix the collar of his leather vest. “I know it. So head up high and deep breath.”

He holds your gaze as he lets out a deep breath, making you giggle as you slide your hands down to pat his chest.

“I love you,” you don’t fret to send him off with sweet words that make his heart swoon.

“I love you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to return before he leans in and presses a kiss on your lips.

Before he can back away you steal one more kiss from his thin lips, causing him to leave with a faint smile.

After a few minutes of lingering in the spot where he left you, you scurry out the secret door and trudge through the secret tunnels to reach the shadows of the Small council room and be part of the big debate that will change the Green fraction one way or the other.

“The armor was Valyrian steel,” Maester Orwyle shares with the council. “But his Grace suffered grievous burns over much of his body. He has many broken bones. I fear there are more injuries within, injuries we cannot see.”

He can die for all you care.

“We are grateful for your works, Grand Maester,” Alicent interjects after you catch her take in a deep breath. “Has he woken?”

“No,” the maester doesn’t try to be assuring, he’s bold so no one gets any hope he might survive. “I must admit, I’m not sure he will ever wake. I have piled my crafts to their fullest extents. Our king's fate lies with the gods now.”

And may the gods be ever so merciful to give him death.

“A king cannot rule in his sleep,” you hear Alicent say after a few seconds of silence. “The realm will have noticed his absence. Let them hear of his great deeds at Rook’s Rest. But now we must name a regent to take his place until he recovers…or does not.”

You lean your ear closer to the gaps on the wall and wait to see if Aemond is right.

“A wise strategy, Your Grace,” you recognize Lord Larys’ pestering voice. “A regency will assure the people of the stability of the crown.”

A silence follows and you wonder why it’s so awkward in there when the choice is plain to see.

“Did you have a candidate in mind, Your Grace?” Ser Tyland asks.

“I myself served in this role for my husband, I am well-prepared to do it again,” she proves Aemond right, and if you would have bet you would have lost.

“You played your part admirably in a time of peace, Your Grace,” Lord Jasper weighs in. “But circumstances have changed.”

“And here I had forgotten,” you catch the sarcasm in Alicent’s voice which does amuse you.

“The King does not lack for heirs,” Lord Jasper continues to argue against Alicent. “The obvious choice is his immediate successor, Prince Aemond, who has his own heir in his son, strengthening the line of succession.”

“Agreed,” Ser Tyland comments, making your heart skip a beat for Aemond.

“Aemond is young,” Alicent immediately rebuttals, causing your eyebrows to furrow because you all know there’s been younger Kings. “And his lack of restraint has already cost us dearly.”

A third silence follows and you suspect it’s because she wants people to agree with her, but it doesn’t seem like anyone does. Which is awkward, you can feel that tension from where you are.

“It is an experience that offers the surest path to security,” you hear the maester give his opinion. “Queen Alicent ably shouldered the duties of the realm when her husband's health failed him.”

Once again in a time of peace, it doesn’t seem like she has a military mind. And someone could argue that your mother doesn’t either, but you know her, she’s smart and leans on her books. She doesn’t need her father like Alicent needed hers.

“Experience is valuable, yes,” Lord Jasper interjects. “But the Dowager Queen is a woman.”

You almost have to laugh but you hold it in. It’s so poetic really.

“I’m no stranger to rule or to sitting at this council,” Alicent argues. “Aemond is a fearsome dragonrider. His skill is best employed in the field, but my experience is needed here, at this table—”

“No offense was meant, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland cuts her off as she’s growing frustrated. “But at a time when we must show strength.”

“Lord Larys,” she tries to garner the man’s support.

“I agree, Your Grace, it must be Prince Aemond,” he contradicts her. “What would it say if, in response to Rhaenyra’s crowning, we raised up a woman of our own?”

Oh sweet, sweet karma.

“But, um…the Hand speaks for the King’s voice, Ser Criston what say you?”

You start to fiddle with your hands as a smirk tugs on your face.

“Aemond is the next in line,” he adds salt to the injury. “It must be him.”

You can’t help it, you grin.

“It’s agreed then,” Aemond finally breaks his silence before you hear the sound of him rising from his chair and his heels clicking around the table.

And just like that he is now regent, Alicent has now been treated the way she treated your mother. The Green fraction has changed to a more Ironfist rule. You can be certain of that.

“What is our standing in the Riverlands?” Aemond jumps right into business, proving already to possess a better mind than Aegon ever did.

“Uh, the banners of House Tully are in disarray, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland is the one who gives Aemond the answer he sought, and the first one to call him your Grace, which brings a chill down your spine. “Prince Daemon has little hope of fielding an army or any, for now.”

Why do they doubt Daemon so much? Is it just that they hope that their negativity will help him fail?

You don’t like him, and you know he has the power to gain that army, you know he will.

“We would do well to send word to young Oscar Tully,” Lord Larys follows up with his comment. “It’s only a matter of time before he inherits his grandsire’s mantle.”

“Tell me, Lord Strong, how I can trust the counsel of a man who leaves the jewel of the Riverlands to be plucked by our enemy?”

You wait for the response from the Lord, but he gives none, and you couldn’t be more smug that he didn’t and that he’s most likely intimidated by Aemond.

“Your brother's host can meet Daemon,” Aemond changes the subject to now speak to Ser Tyland. “He should quicken its pace and check the Rivermen while their banners are in disarray.”

No matter what you can’t help but be proud of Aemond. Command suits him.

“I shall send Lord Jason encouragement,” Ser Tyland assures Aemond.

“What else?” Aemond probes.

“We might turn our attention to the smallfolk here in King’s Landing,” Maester Orweyle says. “They have grown weary of the Sea Snake’s blockade.”

“So have we all,” Aemond says nonchalantly.

“Many are fleeing the city,” the maester continues. “Spreading word of their fear and unrest.”

“Mm, then let the gates be closed,” Aemond picks the wrong choice which proves you right too. “No one is to leave or enter, save with our consent. Merchants, so forth.”

And that’s how you get the smallfolk to hate you. He’s supposed to assure them, feed them, and give them something to hope for, not fear and disdain. Hopefully, your mother can work that in her favor.

“Ser Criston,” Aemond calls out. “I need you to pick three of your best and most trusted men. I shall have two guarding my son and heir, and a second guard protecting my wife. She’s with child, I don’t wish to leave her vulnerable.”

Your breath catches and your heart skips a beat.

It is going to be harder to just be around the Red Keep, but you are happy he didn’t forget about you or Aerion.

“Go to your tasks,” Aemond then abruptly ends the meeting. “We shall meet again at first light. Oh, and someone cut down the fucking ratcatchers.”

Finally! You thought it was never going to be taken down, it’s such a nasty display.

Nevertheless, now to report to your mother. And since Aemond did mention he was going to be busy after the Small council meeting, you have time to take the message to Astraea so she can go take it right away. Plus there’s another matter you need to entrust your mother about because she's the only one you trust to give you comfort.

Which is why in the second letter you write, you make sure to direct to your mother.

“Dear Rhaenyra,

As you know I am with child. The maester assured me of that not long ago, but he also told me something else. He said that one twin is smaller than the other, and honestly, that frightens me. Alicent said it could be fixed in time, but I don’t trust her, and I don’t know what it really means. I just want to know if they’ll be okay. I need them to be okay.”

You don’t sign your name, but there’s no one else who would write to her so there’s no need to really sign your name. Hopefully, this time they write back though, or send anything in return so you’re not left worried. You made sure to point that out so hopefully they listen.

And! Hopefully, Jacaerys’ nosy ass doesn’t read your personal letter to your mother!

He would dare, he would be so protective about it, like, “come home now!” It’s a surprise he didn’t fly after you when he found out you left! Sure you feel bad for leaving him behind, but he has Baela, he won’t be alone. He’ll just be worried about you, annoying too because he wants to hear any news from you, and he will also probably be attentive to any sighting of Astraea in hopes to hear any news from you, so maybe you should write a warning to keep him out.

You should, but you don’t, just like you don’t take the secret tunnels to the cove where Astraea is resting. You’re simply going to the cove behind the castle to visit your dragon, that's all! If there’s eyes on you they won’t find you suspicious, you’re not flaunting the letters; you have them hidden, and you have your sworn protector trailing behind you. There’s no need for alarm or whispers to be spread or given to Aemond, it’s a simple visit…

You just need to secure something on her horn.

Yet as you’re trying to secure the letters, she suddenly slips her head away and starts to growl at your sworn protector in the shadows.

“<Astraea, calm girl,” you assure her. “He’s a friend. He’s my sworn protector. It’s alright.>”

Astraea doesn’t listen; she pushes herself closer to the man, making sure to block your path with her large neck.

“<Astraea,>” you warn her. “<Stop.>”

Her growling gets louder and you see her opening her jaw, pushing Ser Jason against the wall with panicked breaths.

“It’s alright Ser,” you try to assure him. “She won’t harm you. She’s just wary, but <he’s a friend>,” you address the last comment to Astraea, but she has a mind of her own. She corners the man and you watch her nostrils flare as she sniffs him.

“Astraea,” you call out and try to inch closer, but the moment she hears your feet shift she moves her neck against you and starts to snarl until she then suddenly grows quiet, and her neck starts to move away from you, letting you see her close her mouth, and blink as her pupils dilate while she looks at the panicked man before her.

Instead of calling her to back away, you watch with growing curiosity as she then begins to coo at him.

Ser Jason notices the hostility slip away so between pants and with wide eyes he slowly raises his hand and carefully reaches out for her scaled nostril.

You expect your dragon to move, but she remains where she is and lets the man pet her, pulling a surprised breath out of you.

“You,” you huff with relief that she didn’t kill him. “Must be special.”

Ser Jason’s blue eyes snap to you and his eyes almost pop out of his skull before he shakes his head. “No—I mean I am a—”

“She likes you,” you cut off his nervous rambling with a sweet smile. “Funny way of showing it, but she does. She let you pet her. There’s only a few people who aren’t of Valyrian descent that she lets pet her.”

Ser Jason’s eyes slowly drift away as his hand slips off Astraea, letting her back away and turn her head towards you to focus on you.

“<You naughty girl,>” you taunt her and watch her lips spread up as if she’s responding to your comment and smile with a smirk. “Sorry,” you direct at Ser Jason. “For the fright.”

The knight lets out a deep breath to relieve himself of that fear that he was just hit with, and with a breathless laugh, retorts, “I can finally say I have touched a dragon. It’s fine.”

You hum softly in return and once and for all attach the letters to your dragon's horn before you throw your arms around her in an attempt to embrace her. But she’s too big now, your arms don’t go around her anymore, they're just spread out against her in an attempt.

“<You know what you must do, my girl. Remember just my mother, Jace, Baela, or my grandfather can grab the letters. No one else. Don’t delay and be careful.>”

Lady Arra Norrey always poked fun at you for talking to your dragon like you talk to a person, but dragons understand more than commoners know, and Astraea understands you at a deep level.

“<Now go.>” You send her off and don’t move away, you approach the shore to watch her ascend the skies.

It’s once she’s high in the clouds that you return inside, and this time rather than having a clear path, you’re interrupted just at the last courtyard before you can reach the doors. Thankfully it’s on your way back to your quarters though and not the other way around.

“Princess,” Ser Gwayne Hightower brings you to a stop, making you take a deep and annoyed breath before you turn to face him with a plastered smile.

“Ser,” you greet and watch him bow his head at you before he finishes approaching you to be closer. “You returned.”

That’s all, you’re not glad he did, you’re not surprised either, he just returned, it’s that simple.

“Thanks to your favor,” he retorts smugly, making you scoff.

“Me or a few other pretty ladies?” You remark, making him flash you a charming grin before he chuckles and nods.

“Oh yes many did give me their favors,” he doesn’t remain modest, he’s blunt and that makes an amused smile twitch on your lips unwillingly. “But only one worked in my favor. The only one close to the gods, yours, my Princess.”

You hold his gaze as you nod in comprehension before you hide your flattered smile by looking at the ground.

“I heard you are quite a spectacular singer,” he continues trying to work his charm on you. “The Siren of Driftmark. I have wanted to hear if it’s true that your voice is as enchanting as they say.”

You draw in a deep breath and clasp your hands together before you roll your eyes up to look at him with a mischievous smirk that he starts to take in his favor. Yet…

“Was it your idea to parade around the head of my grandmother's dragon throughout the city?” You bring a cold end to his flattery and make that ever-so-charming smile fall.

“No,” he clears his throat and shifts back, making your own smirk deepen. “It was Ser Criston Cole’s.”

“Our good Lord Hand,” you both say in sync and with the same level of sarcasm, bringing a silence where you both share a teasing smile as if you were friends sharing gossip.

“He may have a good military mind,” he shares with you after a small genuine smile. “But may the gods help him with political matters.”

You hum and nod. “It seems the realm was in better hands with your father as hand and Ser Criston as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.”

“I’ll say.” He doesn’t shy away from agreeing. “Uh, I heard of your accident, I do hope you are okay.” He changes the subject smoothly, causing you to blink in surprise and find yourself answering without disdain.

“Quite, being with child just takes a toll. Thank you, Ser.”

He bows his head and just as he parts his lips to add more, a third voice cuts in. “Uncle.”

You both look at the incomer and notice Aemond with his eye locked on his uncle.

“Nephew,” Ser Gwayne greets Aemond with a smile, unlike Aemond who seems bothered—“I was just talking to the Princess. You have quite the pretty pearl here.”

You swallow back nervously and watch Aemond’s chest rise whilst the corner of his lips twitch to a forced smile.

“And you are expecting!” Ser Gwayne brings up and leans toward Aemond to pat his arm. “Congratulations, nephew.”

Aemond offers him a stiff nod of his head so you cut in. “Thank you, Ser. He is the most delighted.”

Aemond hums and remains cold and bothered so you cut this conversation short before you’re swallowed by the awkwardness that begins to build. “I hope we get to see more of you before you’re off again, maybe you can meet our son, Aerion.”

“Ah, yes I would be delighted, my sister speaks fondly of her grandchildren. I will have to see them for myself,” Ser Gwayne says in return, letting you offer him the first genuine smile before you turn and head inside with Aemond who keeps his jaw clenched and his eye narrowed.

“What…were you talking about?” Aemond tries to hide how jealous he is, but it's a futile attempt considering it’s written all over his face; in his flared nostrils, in the darkness in his eye that is brought up by annoyance and anger, and in his raised chest in attempts to try and insert his dominance over you.

Any other time you would find it amusing, it's his uncle and he can’t help but be jealous, but right now you’re bothered by something else entirely that you won’t let go unheard of.

“<The nasty parade that took place while I was abed,>” you take your opportunity to bring up without actually deflecting because it’s true, the topic was brought up.

But of course, he doesn’t answer, do you let it go though? No, you don't back off even if you see him wanting to avoid the topic, you press the matter with growing frustration.

“<When do people stop fearing gods, Aemond?>” You ask rhetorically. “<When they see gods bleed. They saw that dragon's head being paraded around the city and saw that they’re just like every other animal.>”

“<They're not,” Aemond scoffs back in High Valyrian, just like you. “<They can test it if they like, let’s see what fate awaits from them then.>”

You share a dry chuckle and only counter when you’re past the doors and inside the Red Keep. “<Don't underestimate the power of the people, Aemond. They can find power in rage if you give them the right spark. And that display…>” you trail off but don’t ease off him, you don’t use your anger either, you let it go with a deep exhale and instead, try to work this in your favor with the simple power of your enchanting voice.

“<No qualified Hand would have allowed that to happen, or even given it any thought. Dragons are the power of our house, they are sacred creatures. You know that. He doesn’t understand; he did something stupidly foolish that could cost us a lot.>”

Aemond finally looks over at you as if captured by your words, or as if he agrees too.

“<He’s our Lord Commander of the Kingsguard,>” he brings up, but that doesn’t work in anyone's defense. You use that.

“Exactly.”

Aemond studies you to try and get in your mind and read your running thoughts, finding that the words you just sang are haunting his mind instead, like a melody one can’t forget.

“I’m not saying he’s not a qualified man,” you add softly as you climb up flights of stairs to head to your room. “He may not be my favorite, he may have quite a reputation, but he still has a good mind for battle. That I can say. Maybe his skills will be best displayed trying to take Harrenhal, hm? The longer that gets left alone, the more time Daemon has to gain power there.”

“I thought you didn’t like him,” Aemond brings up and glances ahead.

“No,” you scoff. “I don’t, but,” you sigh. “He’s smart. He has experience. I can admit that. We have to admit that to ourselves.”

Aemond hums and you look at him as he looks ahead. And after knowing you said all you needed to say on the matter without being pushy or suspicious, you finally shift over to a matter that brings a bright grin to your face.

“So?! Tell me, are you Regent?”

Aemond’s eye falls and a soft smile slowly starts to grow on his face before he lifts his head and meets your gaze, showing off that smile that gives you your answer and makes you squeal before you bring the both of you to a stop atop the stairs when you throw your arms around him.

“I told you! Congratulations, my love,” you praise him genuinely since you know how much he wants to prove himself. “I knew you’d get it.”

He can’t help it, he wants to grow smug, but he grows flustered instead and only makes that smile grow warm.

“You deserve it,” you whisper so only he can hear.

Aemond wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss on the top of your head, keeping his lips and nose pressed against you as he takes in the praise that you alone have given him.

“Thank you,” he mutters against you.

You hum and pull your head back to meet his eye. “Really, I’m proud of you,” you whisper with no sign of deceit, your words come from the bottom of your heart because now people can see what you see, what you have always seen; that he’s so much more, that he is something.

“I…” he trails off and his eye turns glossy, while a breath catches in his throat and a fondness and awe paints his face. “I love you.”

You bring one hand up to caress his cheek, making him lean towards your touch right away as if instinct to seek your warmth and comfort.

“I love you too,” you redirect softly and press a gentle kiss against his lips.

“You are my Princess Regent,” he whispers against your lips, making you scoff and gently smack his chest before you pull away from his grasp to continue to your shared quarters.

Aemond of course doesn’t hesitate to follow at your side and presses what he said. “I can make you that if you want. You and me.”

You shake your head. “It can’t happen. Helaena is Queen, and,” you hesitate and he knows that so he uses it in his favor.

“You don’t want it?”

You want to say no, but you part your lips and you can’t bring yourself to counter or deny. Instead, once again there’s something dark and hungry that plagues you…

And it doesn’t let you answer

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you retort and flash him a feigned smile. He wants to counter, but you leave him no room to answer because you pick up your pace to finally get off the stairs.

Once you reach your quarters you find Vanessa with Aerion and Shrykos. You see Aerion happy with his little hatchling, you see him get even happier when he sees his father and you can’t help it, all your mind focuses on is spending time with your family. You watch as Aemond interacts with Aerion and his little hatchling. You see how much Aerion loves spending time with Aemond and vice versa. You cherish the moment, you live in it because of what lurks outside your safety walls.

Even when you see Astraea return to the city, you don’t let your attention drift away. This stolen moment is where you find joy, where you find awe as you see how easy Aerion falls asleep when he’s laying on Aemond’s chest as the three of you just spend time on the bed with Aemond’s head on your lap, your fingers messaging his temple, and your eyes interlocked as if sharing hundreds of words in the silence.

Soon there will hopefully be more of you, you and Aemond will be outnumbered, but nothing will ever lessen the love you give your son. You may love each other selfishly, and Aemond may put you over everything, but that will never impact how much you love your children because he doesn’t want them to feel lonely like the way he felt when you were gone from his life and no longer there to be the hopeful light in the darkness. He knows that for certain, just like you know for certain that you would not mind living in this peaceful moment forever.

Yet the peace gets interrupted by Ser Criston requiring Aemond’s attention to take a look at the men he chose to protect you and your son. And since the moment was already interrupted you find your chance to go to Astraea and check for any notes.

And this time there is a note from your mother that you read in the safety of your room since Aemond will be gone for a while.

“I hope you find yourself well. I thank you for your sacrifices, it must not be easy having to sneak about the Red Keep, so thank you, my Sweet. Astraea will grow impatient, and someone will suspect if she’s gone too long so I will get to the point. With the help of the Mysaria, I have sent Elinda to King’s Landing to help with a secret plan to gain the favor of the smallfolk. By the time you get this, she should be at the west city gates by nightfall, she will stay with a friend. I hope you can send someone you trust to see her in the city, she will share what we have planned—”

You pull your eyes off the paper and glance over at Vanessa as she’s the only one you can trust to do what your mother wants of you.

“—As to you. I would really like it if you came home now, I would feel more comfortable with you being taken care of by a maester I can trust. Please come home, leave Vanessa there to help Elinda, and relay any plans the greens have, just come home.

Love, your mother.”

Come home?

It's true that you would feel more comfortable there regarding your twins, but when you go home what will you do? Just sit around the table and listen? Sit and do nothing while a war rages around you?

You already failed her, failed them all once, you need to prove yourself. That’s why you’re here because you wanted to prove to your mother that you can be useful, that you can be something. You can do that here, not there trapped like a bird.

You can’t go home. No matter how much she wants you back, no matter how much you do ache to return, you can’t leave yet. Thus you stride towards the hearth and throw the letter in the fire so it’s not discovered.

Once the paper and all the words are ash you lift your nose in the air and call out to your handmaiden. “Vanessa could you let Ser Jason in, I need to speak to the both of you.”

Vanessa doesn’t wait or question you, she beckons your sworn protector, and once he’s inside and they both stand a few feet behind you, you slowly turn to face them with confidence so they feel it too.

“I need you, Vanessa to go into the city,” you share without dragging it out just in case Aemond does come soon. “Elinda is on her way to the city and I need you to help her inside. I need you to help her for me. Be my ears, my voice with what she needs.”

Vanessa’s dark eyes slowly drift down as many thoughts cross her mind. Many doubts you’re sure. The city is dangerous nowadays, and there’s no guarantee that her whereabouts won’t be caught, but you need her to run the risk because you can’t. She has a higher chance of being in the city undetected, you not so much.

“I know I'm asking a lot, but you are the only one I trust with this,” you try to make her feel comfortable. “My mother does too, if you don’t feel comfortable helping, just let Elinda in the city and walk her to where she’ll stay, okay?”

Vanessa lets out a deep breath and after a few seconds her eyes slowly scale up and she finds you, letting you see the sense of determination painting her pretty face. “I will do it, I’ll help you, the Queen, and Elinda. With whatever they need.” She assures you with a nod and a gentle smile, making you flash her a grin before you now address your sworn protector.

“As for you Ser, I need you to accompany Vanessa, protect her like you do me while she’s out in the city. She is my dearest friend and I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

Ser Jason glances at the woman beside him and swallows thickly before he looks back at you and doesn’t hesitate, he nods in agreement.

“I will protect her as I do you, my Princess,” he says with a sense of confidence that strikes him too. “I am also friends with the Gold Cloaks, I can convince them to let your friend in.”

You sigh with relief and nod in comprehension. “Good, I’m glad. Now go before Aemond gets here. And ser, don’t walk so tense, pretend you’re…taking the lady out to the city, hm?” You suggest, making his cheeks grow furiously red. “I’m being serious.”

Vanessa glances at the timid man and snickers before she approaches you and looks at you with concern and sorrow. “And you? Will you light the pyre alone?”

Your eyes flicker down, but you quickly blink and look back at her with a faint assuring smile so she doesn’t have to worry. “I’m no stranger to grieving alone. I will be fine, I know how to build a pyre.”

“It is raining,” Vanessa argues in an attempt to have you wait for her to light your grandmother's funeral pyre. “Maybe tomorrow—”

“I will be fine, I already know which courtyard to use. Go, I will be fine.” You interrupt her so she can stop worrying. “I’ll see you on the morrow hm?”

She hesitates now for the first time, and as if she was a caring older sister she pats your cheek and offers you a sweet smile.

Before she can go you grab ahold of her hand and welcome her comfort for a lingering moment before you let her go.

Once you’re alone, and Aerion’s wetnurse arrives to take care of him, you put on a beautiful blue velvet cloak and direct yourself to the courtyard you told Vanessa about; one close to the throne room, one with a spiral roof that welcomes the thick drops of rain through the gaps that usually welcome the sunlight on a clear day, or the moonlight on a cloudless night, but not today.

Today the rain is like music against the stone ground, the rain is a mess and puddles around your feet, soaking the ends of your gown and cloak. Lighting and thunder accompany the sheets of rain today, which would add an ominous feeling in the darkness of the night, but the bright fire that lights the shitty pyre you built, burns away the menacing presence of the lightning and thunder.

Now one would wonder how a pyre is still lit with how hard the rain hits the earth, but the center of the courtyard offers a roof that protects the fire and keeps most of you dry. That’s where you stand, that’s where the fire eats away at the wood in peace, and where it’s allowed to glow ragefully; basking the entire courtyard in its red and orange hue as if it was like a wildfire with the power of a thousand suns, and engulfing you with its illuminating hue that makes the grief and sorrow on your face look angelic.

Or that’s what poets would write, what bypassers would think as they watched how the raging light kisses your face and makes those tears on your cheeks glimmer like shining crystals, but you feel anything but divine, you’re grieving alone again. Just like how you grieved your father six years ago.

You shouldn’t be a stranger to grieving alone, but here you are again, away from your cousins, brother, mother, and grandfather who loved your grandmother and Meleys. You’re alone again in front of a funeral pyre bidding a last goodbye to someone you love, and no one is here to hold your hand or embrace your shaking shoulders. You’re alone grieving a grandmother you failed.

Maybe if you had written that letter faster, or sent that warning before, then she would still be alive. If you could’ve done what you were sent to do right she would be victorious or perhaps left with her life, but you failed her, you failed your Queen; your mother, and those who loved your grandmother. You amounted to nothing, but maybe that’s what you’ve been all along?

A simple girl with a luxurious title who dreamt too big and wanted too much. A selfish girl who thought she could get the world, but can’t get a scrap because no matter how hard you try you can’t reach those stars to amount to anything. You can’t feed the hunger inside you. You can’t be anything…

But…

As you stand there in the silence of solace, as you hear the fire crackle, the rain patter, and the thunderclap in the sky, there’s something that you feel calling you, something in the fire.

Something that has always called out to you since you could remember, but something that you have ignored, that you want to ignore now as you mourn your grandmother.

Yet the hot flames dry your tears and its heat embraces you tighter, but like every other time, its embrace, its kiss, and its touch is not uncomfortable like it is to everyone else. It’s welcoming, it’s nice like a friend…that’s been with you since you can recall.

No matter how hard you try, its whispers grow louder, but never desperate, it’s calling is charming, and like many other times, it entrances you.

The longer you stare at its beauty, the more it promises, swears that it’s empowering but only if you embrace it back.

You try to look away regardless of what calls for you, but how can you turn your back on what’s feeding your starving soul?

Fire kills the girl and awakens the dragon.

You can’t look away. You can’t ignore it. Not anymore.

Thus you mindlessly shrug your cloak off and let it drown in the puddle around your feet. You kick your shoes off because you are mindful of how much you love your shoes, and get closer, but it almost feels like you aren't the one controlling your body, it’s being controlled by the power of the trance. It moves you and you let it.

You raise your hand from your side and reach for the flames as if reaching out for an inviting hand.

You don’t show hesitation or fear, a malicious smirk tugs on your lips and the confidence, pride, and malice that washes over you gleams in your eyes like the illuminating fire because there’s never been anything to fear about the fire. It's why you don’t think of pulling away, you embrace the fire like securing your grip on an inviting hand.

Yet just as you raise your foot to step inside the calling flames, a hand suddenly grabs a hold of your wrist and you’re yanked back harshly under the rain.

When you look at the intruder you meet the gaze of your husband, your Aemond looking at you with horror. Yet that emotion slowly fades away as he lifts your hand and sees that you’re unharmed.

Now instead of fearing that you were going to jump in the fire to hurt yourself, he’s left flabbergasted and confused. You could explain it to him with words, but at that moment you can’t muster a single syllable, so instead you pull away and show him.

Aemond wants to stop you again. It’s an instinct, but when you put your hand in the fire and don’t wince, or make a sound of pain, as he sees that the fire doesn’t hurt a single perimeter of your flesh he’s struck with awe that leaves him paralyzed where he stands. It’s not horror or disgust. You walk under the rain again and study him closely to make sure, to know if you should be ashamed, but no matter how much you search his face or dig your gaze in his, there’s nothing you see but awe, admiration, a bit of confusion, and more adoration for you.

He sees you with the opposite of what you feared, with love and fascination, and you feel seen.

There in the darkness you are cast in is your light and you feel…like…you can be something important under his eye, with him because he sees you.

Sure you could have shown your mother, your brother, or even Cregan that the fire doesn’t hurt you. It’s your friend, you're immune to its violence and that’s your gift, but you didn’t share that with them and they didn’t see, but Aemond does. He sees you now, he looks at you like you are something more than you thought you could be and you’re relieved

You have yet to fully be embraced by the flames, but at last, someone knows and someone loves you for it. Someone sees your value and your power. Then again in some ways he always has, now he just sees all of you.

“Come with me,” he whispers, and thunder cuts in from the distant sky.

He offers you his hand and you don’t hesitate, you place your hand over his, and secure his grasp. Before you leave though you slip your shoes back on and pick up your cloak drenched with water.

At first, you expect to be taken well anywhere else but the throne room. Yet much to your surprise, you’re now embraced by the darkness of the glorious hall with only the night's hue casting in a natural light, and the occasional shots of bright lightning flashing an ominous light.

“They would love you,” his voice oozes out like honey. “I know that. Even now they love you, but imagine then, hm?” His words travel in your ear and they make a chill crawl down your spine.

“We—even before we married, when we were just kids…” he says and walks around you, making sure to bring his hand up to press his palm down on the back of your neck, making the hairs on the back of your neck rise, and those goosebumps to spread as he brings his lips close to your ear and lets his breath unfurl over your skin.

“…we were a lot more than my sister and Aegon. We valued our traditions, we value them even now. We are what all Targaryens rulers should be because we always wanted it.”

…he…

“Can’t you see it? Can’t you see us?” He whispers against your flesh, tempting you to tilt your head to try and meet his lips.

“Be Regent with me,” he offers again, but this time in a soft and almost pleading voice that makes your body move so you can be face to face and interlock gazes.

“I hear your protests,” he adds and glances at your lips only inches away from his. “But Helaena has never wanted what she has, you have…”

He…

“You and I will be the best of them,” he continues and continues to grow this realization. That’s what it is, a realization in the darkness of the room.

No matter how much you have tried to deny it, how hard you have pushed it down and brushed it off, it’s always been there. And it was never a darkness, and that hunger for more was never a plague. That’s a lie.

There was this desire, this need always within you. He knows that he sees that like no one else has. And just like the fascination he had for you when he saw you unhurt by the fire, now you return that fascination for him and his offer.

“You and me,” you whisper and those silent words travel over the sound of thunder because you can feel the warmth of his lips basically embrace yours.

And instead of answering with words, a malicious smirk tugs on his lips, and his awe only heightens for you, drawing him to smash his lips over yours just as you lean in at the same time, and bringing you both to forget where you are.

The rain patters harshly against the windows, against the roof, the thunder booms, and the lightning strikes the earth and flashes its bright light, but neither of you give it a second thought or any thought at all. It’s just you and him, basking in the passion brought by your selfish desires come to life. Because that's what it is, selfish on your part. It’s not selfless, you did not accept his offer for her, you accepted because you wanted to.

But Daemon pushed you here, didn’t he?

And Aemond sees you, he sees something in you. You can be something with him. That’s all you want, that’s all you have wanted.

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“He dares to summon me!” Aemond barks with rage after reading a demand from Lord Jason Lannister. “With haste?”

He throws the crumbled letter to the side and leans over the table to glare at the brother sitting at your right side.

“Are the Lannisters so diminished that they cannot march from the Tooth to Harrenhal without an escort?”

You clasp your hands over the table and slowly drift your gaze to the blond man avoiding Aemond’s seething glare.

“There is a large dragon in the Riverlands, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland defends his brother's choice, which makes sense, but also sounds a bit like an excuse. A pretty pathetic excuse. “My brother's army is strong, but it does seem—”

“I am the Prince Regent,” Aemond reminds the man. “Not a dog to be called to heel. Tell your brother that if he does not deliver his host to Harrenhal, with ‘haste’,” he mocks. “Daemon’s dragon will become the least of his worries.”

A smirk tugs on your lips that you can't hide, that you can’t shame either. Aemond is right to be angry, and right to project his anger in that way, or else they won’t listen. Besides, you do have to admit you like it when he’s angry, and this new role of command suits him well.

Yet not everyone agrees, especially not his mother. She glances over at you in search of aid, but you just meet her gaze and flash her your smirk as you lift your nose in the air and sit back; because now you too carry this sense of cockiness, this rise in your ego that comes with your new title that the Lords around the table had to oblige to out of fear of Aemond.

If it were up to them they wouldn’t have allowed the daughter of Rhaenyra to sit amongst them and listen to their war plans, but you are now the Princess Regent in a time of war, you are needed around the table to listen mostly. And yes that bugs you, you still want to do more, and you hope now that Aemond discovered your immunity he’ll let you do more, that he’ll let you fight like you wanted to, but you don’t know. You haven’t talked about that night and the fact that he saw that the fire is not harmful or deadly to you, you haven’t had time, and even if you know you saw the love and awe in his eyes you still fear what he has to say on the matter, so that also why you haven’t really tried to talk about it.

You’ll talk about it soon, you have to, right now you’re just relishing in the fact that you’re around the table and that you have a more important title. You find pride in it, and more power than you’ve had before.

It’s intoxicating.

“Your irritations are justified, Aemond,” Alicent tries to do what she wanted you to do. “But it does seem—”

“I have a task for you, as well,” Aemond cuts Alicent off as he begins to stalk around the table. “Ser Tyland.”

Alicent’s brown eyes once again find you and pass her confusion for her son's sudden cold shoulder towards her, and even if you know what brought this on, you don’t offer her sympathy or pity, you look at her blankly before following Aemond with your eyes and watch him land behind Ser Tyland, like a predator scaring its prey.

“We will make an alliance with the Triarchy,” Aemond continues. “I've had enough of this cursed blockade.”

“My Prince,” Ser Tyland tries to bring up an argument. “You cannot mean to treat with the Free Cities. The captains of their ships are dangerous mercenaries, little more than pirates—”

“They are a stone's throw away across the Narrow Sea,” Aemond cuts the man's argument off as he steals a glance at you to let his gaze linger on you before he drops his eye on the man under him. “Lannister and Hightower ships will take months to arrive. The Triarchy will delight in the chance to terrorize the Sea Snake again. Let them weaken his blockade while our true allies make their long journey east.”

“The Triarchy may play at accepting terms but they are not to be trusted,” Alicent tries to reason with Aemond. “Your father knew this. What has come of our letters to the Greyjoys?” She drifts to a different matter in the same territory.

“They have been to no avail,” maester Orwyle gives the Dowager Queen the answer she seeked.

“The Red Kraken waits,” Lord Jasper interjects. “Seeking his best advantage. Though we may draw him in with honey. If it comes to it. An offer of marriage, perhaps to the Dowager Queen?”

You snicker in amusement and Alicent glances at you as she protests. “Out of the question.”

“You’ll have better luck breaking the Ice Wall,” you break your silence with knowledge you harbor from your past in the North. “When I was ward to Lady Karstark, the Greyjoys would send raid parties to Stony Shores, so to make them stop Lord Bennard Stark sent a proposal, one of his sons to one of Lord Greyjoy's many daughters,” you scoff and slowly lean forward.

“Lord Greyjoy sent back a nasty and bloody reply to deny the proposal. The raids did not stop until Lord Cregan Stark became lord because the Greyjoys’s answer with violence. I would suggest letting them sack some town close to their shores to gain their favor.”

“A bloody proposal but it might work,” Lord Larys actually says in your favor.

Alas Lord Jasper counters with discreet disagreement.

“We would have to think about it, and think of which shores they can attack.”

And that’s another way of saying no. You’ll tell your mother then, or Daemon, they’ll listen and gain their favor instead.

“The Dowager Queen spoke wisely, Your Grace,” Ser Criston cuts in. “Even if the blockade could be broken, are we to invite these alien raiders into our waters, so close to King’s Landing?”

“It’s time you set out for Harrenhal, I think,” Aemond pays his thought no mind and actually does as you told him. Which only works to feed that already heightened cockiness.

“Your Grace, if Daemon prevails in the Riverlands I no longer have the numbers to challenge him,” Ser Criston rebuttals, making you bite back your smug smile as you sit back and instead let your cockiness be shown in the way you sit, and the way your nose is slightly perked to touch the air, welcoming the sunlight to kiss your face just perfectly and only make you look that more regal.

“We lost much at Rook’s Rest,” Ser Criston makes sure to share while his eyes follow Aemond as he sits on the edge of the table beside him. “As you well know.”

“The longer we wait, the more chance he will prevail,” Aemond rebuttals using a variation of what you told him not long ago. “Lannister will march from the west. Take what strength we have and force Daemon and his Riverlords to fight on two fronts.”

You fiddle with one of your many rings on your fingers and watch the man seem almost hesitant to do as he’s told.

“His Grace speaks wisely,” Lord Larys says, but Ser Criston argues.

“We would do better to await the Hightower host and set out in good time.”

Aemond’s gaze drifts to you and you lock eyes but say or motion for nothing. You remain as prideful and smug and just hold his gaze until he returns his attention to the man beside him.

“There is no time,” Aemond counters. “It’s a fortnight's march to Harrenhal. We must strike before his army is raised.”

“And you yourself?”

Aemond tilts his head up and once again shares his smugness on the Daemon matter. “I will fly out to meet you when the time is ripe. My uncle is a challenge I welcome…if he dares face me.”

You could laugh at that. You could laugh at the many things Aemond says about Daemon because he thinks that Daemon is somehow scared, or at his level, and sure Aemond is threatening with Vhagar and his swordsman’s skills, but Aemond doesn’t have Daemon’s experience yet, once he does then you can say they could see eye to eye.

“I have some concerning news to share,” Lord Larys interjects and earns everyone’s attention. “I have just heard that Lord Cregan Stark leads an army of two thousand older men.”

You blink and that overpowering arrogance falters at the mention of Cregan, at the mention that he’s on his way to fight for his Queen after he said he couldn’t march so soon himself.

He’s actually coming down and that thought excites you more than it should. It makes your heart swoon more than it should. Yet you don’t display the smile that threatens to spread on your lips, you don’t let your heart show your pride or joy through your eyes, you remain nonchalant and ignore the attentive eyes of Lord Larys as he tries to catch any reaction, but you don’t give him the satisfaction.

“A measly army of old men that will be brought down quickly,” Aemond brushes Lord Larys off, but that's what the Lord expected, he just wanted to see how you would react, but you don’t fall for his trap.

“Now, I see we’re all agreed,” Aemond brings an end to the meeting after a moment's silence whilst he returns to his seat across from you.

“Your Grace,” Ser Criston says after he stands up.

The other bodies around the table don’t linger behind, they rise from their seats and walk out, you do the same but rather than walking out right away, you make yourself around the table to press a kiss on Aemond’s cheek that he welcomes by leaning over to meet your lips.

“My love,” you offer him sweet words before stepping back to walk around his seat with your fingers brushing over his shoulders.

Before you can lose touch, he captures your hand and brings you to a stop.

“Mother…a word,” he calls out before Alicent can leave the perimeters, all while he never once breaks your connection, and sparks this quick-growing tension that makes your heart begin to race with excitement.

“You,” he directs at you. “Eat. Don’t think you went unnoticed when we broke fast.”

You sigh. “I have found it more difficult this morning, they did not like what I ate,” you refer to the twins inside you. “Even now the thought of any food makes me want to vomit.”

Aemond hums and lets your hand go to caress your belly. “I’ll talk to the maester. You talk to Vanessa, have her make you some tea.”

You offer him a soft smile and give his mind some peace by nodding in agreement.

Aemond caresses your belly one more time with a faint smile before he grabs your hand and sends you off with a kiss on your knuckles.

As you walk away you don’t leave in silence, you pass Alicent and give her your last word. “Mother.”

Her eyes follow you and you can feel them on your back as you stride out with a teasing smirk because you both know that you meant that mockingly.

Now to the Godswood, where you won’t be alone, no, now rather than one guard there’s two watching over you now; Ser Jason, and Ser Cane Clegane; The Blood Hound as he’s popularly known, a thirty-something-year-old man who is rather stoic, with broad shoulders, built like an ox, and carries a deep and almost rocky voice. You are wary mostly because of your own indiscretions, but from what little time you have had with him he does look rather trustworthy.

Then again Aemond did personally inspect him and even tested his worth, so he is reliable if your life is ever threatened.

You hope you’ll have to wait and see.

Regardless, no one interrupts the peace you instantly find in the Godswood. You find comfort in the smell of the red leaves that swirl in your nose thanks to the gentle wind that howls in your ear. You feel bliss as the warm sunlight peeking through the gaps between the red leaves kisses your face. And not counting the shadows lurking in the distance, you don’t feel alone as you lose your eyes on the weeping face carved on the weirwood tree.

Eyes stare back at you, but it’s not a piercing gaze, it’s not judgmental, or heavy with intimidation, they’re gentle eyes, caring, and attentive. They admire your smile as you can’t help but think of Cregan marching down with his men to fight.

You shouldn’t be so happy, you need to knock your joy and pride down a peg or two after all, it’s unlikely you’ll see him, but you can’t help but feel…happy at the thought after you were certain that he would not dare come so soon.

And it’s not that you want to hop on your dragon and meet him halfway, no, the thought doesn’t cross your mind. You’re just happy to hear he’s coming with his army of men.

“Princess.”

And just like that your peace is broken, and by no other than Alicent who seems quite distressed when you turn to face her.

Why? What could she want?

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Abbey by Mitski is yours and Aemond's anthem period in this story period.

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan

[raayllum]

The Mage Wars

How could I not know that? What really happened? History has a way of burying the ugly truths of those who write it.

So it was supremely satisfying to finally have a textual answer to something fans have been curious about since S2 aired in 2019, and definitely after S3. There was speculation at the time that the West being so different from the East was likely due to two options:

Xadian forces took magic out of the west as a preventative measure when the elves / everyone was leaving, and then sent the humans in. This would mean a more difficult path for humanity in terms of stripping away Xadia's natural abundance, but better protect all the unique creatures/beings who lived on the western half of the continent by shepherding them somewhere safer

Xadian forces left the West untouched, and sent humans into that same natural abundance. Humanity consumed and destroyed it over long term dark magic use and infighting (calling back to Viren's line in 2x05 of "After centuries of fighting amongst ourselves...") because dark magic is a personal, subjective morality free-for-all of terror and consequences

We now definitively know it's the second one... but why? Why tell us this at all?

Well there's a few potential reasons:

Now that we're fully opening up the border between the Pentarchy and the Xadia, with the caveat that the Pentarchy can defend themselves from future dragon attacks, we could see encroaching war of more powerful humans who wish to plunder magic from the remaining magical side of the continent. All the previous guardians of Xadia's land and seas (the Archdragons) have also been taken out by Aaravos.

Side note: I forget where, but I saw people speculate that the coral-horned creature could be the Empress of the Deep mentioned in Deep Below, who was a dear friend of Domina Profundis, and who was hunted by a collection of elves and humans.

The history of the Mage Wars is also likely relevant to the Staff of Ziard. We see it featured prominently in the flashback and that it seemed to denote powerful mages in particular. This makes sense as it's something Aaravos crafted and then gave to humanity, along with dark magic itself earlier on. We also know that (particularly human) mages were his preferred prey and that the Mage Wars are exactly the kind of conflict he'd be more than ready to nudge along. His imprisonment being 300 years ago (depending on when the fighting came to an end) could also line up.

Going back to the Staff, we know that the staff metal itself came from the Starscraper (alongside 8 others that remain there), the quasar diamond was stolen from the Corona of the Heavens and placed in the staff, and that it eventually became attributed to the High Mage position in Katolis, passing from generation to generation. We know that traditionally it would've passed from Kpp'Ar to Viren, and has now gone to Callum, who seems to no longer be High Mage, but retains ownership over the staff anyway. We don't know why Kpp'Ar believed that the staff should never be used again, so it seems that's an arc 3 question.

I'm also curious if the end of the mage wars, given the volcanic setting is reminiscent of the arc 1 intro with Avizandum, might be something we see some day / in further detail. If the timeline matches up where it was coming to a close around 300 years ago, that could be part of the reason why the Orphan Queen journeyed into Xadia and why she had reason to be suspicious of Aaravos.

[otp-after-dark]

“Love bears all things. Believes all things. Endures all things. Love never fails.” —Nick Blaine, 2x05

This is the episode where everything starts to fall apart. The quiet of the Globe is long gone, and Gilead's control slams back down — cold, calculated, and personal.

It begins with Nick finding June in the kitchen, burning the letters. She’s quiet. Withdrawn. Not okay. He takes her hand, gently, trying to reach her. She won’t speak — but he doesn’t leave. He stays. Because he knows. Something’s wrong.

And then he makes the mistake. He goes to Serena. Tries to get help.

“She doesn’t have anyone to look after her?” —Nick “It appears that she does.” —Serena

And with that, Serena goes full Gilead.

She manipulates Fred into punishing Nick, and Fred — predictably, performatively jealous — gets him promoted. The final twist of the knife? A child bride. Fifteen years old. Because of course.

“He looks handsome, doesn’t he?” —Serena This isn’t just cruel. It’s calculated.

And then come the vows.

“Love is patient. Love is kind… It bears all things. Believes all things. Endures all things. Love never fails.” —Nick

Nick is standing there, marrying a stranger, speaking vows meant to make a point, not a promise. But the way he looks up at June? The way his voice shakes, just a little? That speech is for her. Every word of it. It’s the only way he can say what he’s feeling in a room full of people who’d kill them both if they knew.

And June — she’s watching. She can’t hide it. Her eyes are glass. Her body is stiff. This is what it means to be shattered in real time.

She walks out of the house. Barefoot. Unsteady. Silent.

And Nick finds her.

The way he runs to her. The way he yells for help. The panic. The desperation. The absolute terror in his eyes.

That’s a man being crushed by a system he can’t fight. That’s a man who would give anything to hold her together — and can’t.

And still, he tries.

The episode ends with June — back in her room — making a promise to her unborn baby: You will not grow up in Gilead.

And you believe her. Because she’s not saying it as Offred. She’s saying it as June.

[jesterkoops]

I am late to this party because I have been insanely busy this past week but...

SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. I don't know where to start so I will go in chronological order (warning - this is long).

Obviously, spoilers for Severance 2x05.

How much power does Helena *actually* have? Her not wanting to go back "down there" but having very little say in the matter... she is the CEO's daughter and yet she seems to be at the mercy of the board's decisions just like her innies. I also found it interesting that she used "they tried to kill me" as an excuse not to go back when she did after all go back to work after Helly tried to hang herself. Was someone not so keen to face Mark? Or am I reading too much into it?

Helly being catapulted into a world that is no longer the one she knew. Irving's gone (and was trying to drown her outie), Dylan is grieving Irving, Mark has drastically changed and is pushing her away. Ironic that she's the only one with nothing to hide, since both Dylan and Mark are "compromised" in their own way. I have no doubt Dylan's "privileges" will continue to play a role and I'm curious to see when and how that shoe will drop with Mark and Helly.

I loved the complete chaos and confusion that has overwhelmed Mark. I haven't checked the timelines of how long Helly and Helena have been on the severed floor, respectively, but I think they are pretty equal stretches of time? This isn't Helena slotting herself into his life only for that OTBRO, they continuously spent a ton of time together for weeks. So, actually, Mark had started falling for Helly and then finished falling for Helena. Helena who SURELY must be a monster, right? If she is heir to a company that does this to their employees and holds his outie's dead wife somewhere in a basement. And yet he nonetheless felt she was not that different from Helly, and he managed to connect with her on a human level. This throws not only their entire relationship and his feelings into question but literally his entire system to make sense of his universe: what's an innie, what's an outie, who is truly whom, if anyone? I mean, if this is a mindfuck for us watching it, imagine LIVING it.

Similarly, Helly also has to process the exact same stuff about herself. "You couldn't tell it wasn't me?". And this is why I don't think it's as simple as "Helena was 100% just acting". Because how would that be interesting from a storytelling and character development perspective? If Helena is exactly what it says on the tin, how does that enrich the narrative for Mark and Helly, when they can just both dismiss her as "the other"? And how does that enrich the narrative for the viewer? It does not. The most you get out of that is Mark being paranoid that he can't tell if it's Helly or Helena, and that's it. But it doesn't take any of characters anywhere interesting.

And I think this is also probably reflected in that tent scene. I don't think that knowing what we know now is necessarily meant to retrospectively cheapen that scene. I think the way that scene was scripted and shot I think it was done with genuine intent to depict a LOVE scene, because they went above and beyond what would be necessary from a "show-and-tell" perspective to fool the audience into thinking it was Helly having sex with Mark. Even ignoring Britt's comments on the matter and looking simply at the material, not only were they heavy-handed on ticking the love scene visuals, but there was no reason whatsoever to have her bring up the topic of who she might be on the outside with Mark. I think just as he kept falling for her through that time she was on the severed floor, her own "intrigue" for him might have continued to grow (and hence the scene where she watches him leave in this episode).

What I think is so interesting about the shift in innie!Mark (because it's mostly still innie!Mark) in this episode is that he has just been hit with a series of events that have completely trashed the relative tranquility of his life inside Lumon and IMMEDIATELY we start seeing flashes of who Mark is on the outside: the cynicism, the depression, the dismissiveness, the not caring about anything because nothing matters. Which goes along with the idea that these people are nothing but "tabula rasas" of their outside counterparts, and that, given the right (or wrong) circumstances and experiences, they can be channeled to be more or less like their outies.

Finally... did Milchick know that Mark and Helena banged because he knows or because Helena told him? I've seen many theories but I am not sold on any at the moment tbh. I tend to lean towards him knowing from means other than Helena because while I can see them considering Mark and Helly's bond something Helena needed to play into (they did after all seem to emphasize the whole "love story" aspect in the lore about the MDR uprising), given how uptight Lumon/the Eagans seem to be about sex, it somehow feels weird to me that it would be considered appropriate or even encouraged for the "heir in waiting of Lumon industries" to bang an innie just to keep her cover. I might be wrong though!

WELL DONE YOU if you made it this far.

TL;DR: I don't think this is all down to Helena "faking it" because the whole point of the show is blurring the lines between innies and outies and how the innies are nothing more than "tabula rasas" of their outies before shit happened in their lives. Getting more intrigued by Helena with every episode.

[imminent-danger-came]

Plans & the Plan Man

Buckle in, this is going to be a long one!

Princess Iron Fan: "Oh! So you're plan, didn't go according to plan, hm?"

(1x00 A Hero is Born)

-

Sandy: "Alright, so what's the plan?" MK: "Uh...I dunno, I was just gonna wing it?" Sandy: "Sound's great, let's go!" MK: "What!? No! I didn't mean you guys too!"

(1x10 The End is Here!)

-

MK: "....Let's help him." Everyone: "Huh!?" MK: "What other choice do we have? Look, Spider Queen won't see this coming, it's the best plan we got. So I say, let's help a demon rob the celestial realm."

(2x00 Revenge of the Spider Queen)

-

MK: "What kind of villain are you!?" Huntsman: "The kind who's got bigger plans than getting boiled to death by dumpling soup."

(2x02 Dumpling Destruction)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "Whatever she's planning...it's all to do with that. I- I've seen you use your staff, surely, you could use it to smash that thing?"

(2x05 Minor Scale)

-

Pigsy: "Yeah, yeah, destiny-shemestiny. You saw how fast the kid dismantled your little bone toy, right?" Lady Bone Demon: "That was part of the plan. I do apologize for what comes next."

(2x10 This is the End!)

-

MK: "We have a plan! You could help! We could stop her together." Macaque: "*laugh* You can't even stop me!"

(3x04 The Winning Side)

-

Mei: "Ai-ight, then, what's the plan, Monkey Man?" MK: "Under cover of darkness, I'll infiltrate DBK's fortress, bypass his security systems, sneak into his bedroom and snatch that nose ring! Meanwhile, Mei, Sandy, you'll find us a getaway vehicle and we'll be home free, ring in hand- then, find the other two, beat the Lady Bone Demon and save the world from total destruction! Okay, any questions?" Mei: "Nope! Sounds like a good plan, MK." Sandy: "Flawless!"

(3x06 The First Ring)

-

MK: "I'm okay with rushing him! What's the plan, Monkey King? We got all three Rings of Samadhi, so how do we use 'em to make the Lady Bone Demon go boom!? Is there a switch or...?" Sun Wukong: "It's a bit more complicated than that. In order to reforge the Samadhi Fire, we'll need to reach the summit of that mountain."

[...]

Pigsy: "Maybe Monkey King's not as trustworthy as you think, MK." MK: "Wha... what do you mean?" Pigsy: "Think about it. He told us he had a plan, but we don't know what it is; he told us there were three rings, but maybe there's a fourth; he told us that map was so important, but it hasn't been useful once this whole trip!"

[...]

Sun Wukong: "Stop! If you hurt that kid, I'll-" Macaque: "What? Make things worse for MK?" Sun Wukong: "Stop! I have a plan!"

[...]

Macaque: "So this was the Monkey King's great plan? How do you still not see that he has no idea what he's doing! How about this for a plan—stay down, MK, or I will put you down."

(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)

-

Sun Wukong: "This wasn't supposed to happen. I thought if I could somehow get the Samadhi Fire out of you—without hurting you of course—then I could put it inside myself! Then, I don't know, use it to burn up the Lady Bone Demon or something? I was kinda making this up as-" Ne Zha: "-that was your plan?" MK: "That's not a good plan!" Sun Wukong: "Yeah, to be honest, this is the first time I've said it out loud, so..."

Mei: "We trusted you. All of us! How could you lead us into this fight without a real plan?"

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "It appears your quest to use the power of the Samadhi Fire to destroy me hasn't quite gone according to plan? Why else would you show up unarmed with none of your friends for back up." Sun Wukong: "I didn't need The Samadhi Fire to put you away last time, figured I could make do without it. Lady Bone Demon: "Oh, my power has far surpassed what it was when we last met in battle. Even now, I sense you do not have what it takes to defeat me. Sun Wukong: "Hmph. That won't stop me from trying." Mayor: "A hero to the end! How delightful."

Lady Bone Demon: "*laughs* No back up and no weapon. So your plan is to...fist fight a child?"

(3x11 This Imperfect World)

-

Red Son: "Dragon Girl! We have to go after them!" MK: "No! What we need is a plan. If we go after them now, there's no way we win." Red Son: "But our only chance to beat the Lady Bone Demon just teleported away! The Dragon girl was our last hope." MK: "As long as we're still standing, there's always hope! Mei is more stubborn than anyone I know—between that and your training, she's not gonna give up the Samadhi Fire without a fight! Red Son: I can't tell if you're being heroic or moronic. But alright, let's make a plan."

[...]

MK: "That's why we're gonna formulate a plan!....I'm open to suggestions, what we got?" Tang: "Uh...Die with dignity?" Pigsy: "What kind of plan is that!?"

[...]

Pigsy: "We're just doing the same thing over and over again! I'm losing my mind over here!" Macaque: "I hope I'm not interrupting—but, if you're making a plan to defeat the Lady Bone Demon, I know a guy who might be able to help."

(3x12 The Corrupted King)

-

Emperor: "You- you've been planning this from the beginning, haven't you? To work your way to the top, to overthrow me?"

[...]

Mayor: "That information won't help you now. My Lady has corrected the one mistake in her previous plan. [...] The Samadhi fire is the one thing strong enough to cleanse not only the mortal plane, but the celestial realm and everything beyond even that! A fresh start, a clean slate—just as she had planned."

[...]

Sandy: "Alright! So, what's the plan, Monkey man?" MK: "Well, if the Lady Bone Demon needs her Mech to use the Samadhi Fire, then all we gotta do is destroy that Mech before she gets the chance!"

(3x13 Time to Be Warriors)

-

Sandy: "And now you're thinking Mr. Tang's gonna use his newfound powers to free our mystic monkey. Right?" Pigsy: "And if that amazing plan doesn't work?

(4x02 New Adventures)

-

Scroll Subodhi: "Without question, you were not born from the stone as he was! Who or what you are, even I do not know the answer—but of one thing, I am certain: fate has plans for you! Great plans or foul? Time will tell." MK: "I- I can't be! I'm just- I'm just MK!" Scroll Subodhi: "The Monkie Kid?"

(4x06 Show Me the Monster)

-

Tang: "I saw it. Here. Wherever this place is, him, plotting to take down Monkey King. That was his plan all along, to trap Monkey King inside that scroll and do something sinister, something bad, probably!"

(4x08 The Brotherhood)

-

Sun Wukong: "So we all know I'm the greatest teacher in all of history." Macaque: "Ugh, this guy." Sun Wukong: "But my plan making..." Mei: "Is the worst!" Sun Wukong: "Okay, hurtful, I was gonna say "needs improvement". Either way, Imma hand this over to a pro! -You're up, kiddo!"

MK: "-Wha...Wh-Why me? Sun Wukong: "'Cause you're the Plan Man, man!" Pigsy: "Oh yeah, give us one "MK master plan special", to go." MK: "Hmm...Okay. Ne Zha's right. While Azure's got the Jade Emperor's power and the scroll, there's no way we could beat him head-on."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Sun Wukong: "Hey, Lieutenant Monkey! How's the plan going?"

[...]

MK: "Huh! This planning thing is really working out, huh?" Sun Wukong: "Yeah! Who'da thunk?"

[...]

Mei: "Every time we've gone into a final fight, we've basically winged it without a real plan. But it's like Subodhi said: that won't be enough this time. We need to wait for the moment to strike!" Pigsy: "But Azure ain't gonna just wait around for us to attack. If he's got as much of a grudge against Monkey King as Macaque says he does, he's just gonna come and attack us first!" Mei: "Exactly! By not attacking, he'll think we're not ready for him, but he'll be wrong! The plan is to make it look like there is no plan at all, when really, we're already doing the plan! MK's plan!"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

I reached the image limit but we did it! We're done!

[maidenimage]

90 minutes

I couldn't sleep, so I got on my computer and edited season 2 down to just the present-day Crowley/Aziraphale scenes, just to see how much time that fills.

The answer is: approximately 145 minutes (or 2 hrs 25 min).

I removed everything that didn't have either of them in it, as well as the minisode flashbacks. Here's how each episode tallies up:

2x01: 0:33:45

2x02: 0:18:58 Job Minisode is an additional 0:25:36

2x03: 0:19:12 Edinburgh Minisode is an additional 0:18:25

2x04: 0:05:36 Nazis Minisode is an additional 0:32:48

2x05: 0:27:19

2x06: 0:40:03 (like basically the entire episode, not much fat to trim here)

Keep in mind that this is not a story edit; meaning there are scenes that I cut out that probably would have been in the season if we were genuinely trying to whittle it down to movie-length but keep the integrity of the story. (This includes scenes such as Muriel bringing the matchbox to Michael and Uriel, Shax in Hell talking to Beelzebub, all the Gabriel/Beelzebub flashbacks in episode 6, etc.) But it's late and I don't have time to do that right now, so this is the rough framework we're working with.

Here's my takeaway:

Can season 3 be sliced and diced into one 90-minute episode/movie? Yeah, probably. Are we going to lose a lot of the heart of the show and the characters in doing so? Definitely. Because in order to edit season 2 down into 90 minutes while still keeping the story in tact, I would probably have to add back some of the non-Aziracrow scenes, and cut the following:

The "Before the beginning" scene with Angel Crowley starting up the universe (which we can all agree would be a devastating loss; but doesn't directly tie to present day)

Most likely, the apology dance (because it's long and isn't strictly speaking necessary, except TO ME ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL)

Most if not all of the scenes of Aziraphale convincing the various shopkeepers to attend the meeting (which would gut me, but is objectively not necessary to the story)

A great deal of the Maggie/Nina story (would probably keep some of it, but most of it is superfluous)

A lot of the Gabriel/Jim scenes (which are adorable but are there for entertainment, and not story)

A great deal of the Crowley/Jim scene where he confronts him about telling Aziraphale to shut his stupid mouth and die. Parts of this sequence were important, but a lot of it would have been axed/shortened.

The scene of Aziraphale driving the Bentley and Crowley calling him, furious about everything (which would break my heart to lose)

All of the minisode flashbacks (which would be the MOST tragic thing to do to this content, but objectively none of it was needed for the season 2 plot)

All of Shax gathering the demon troops and Eric arguing with her (which, I wouldn't cry about losing, but still shows you the flavor of the show that would be gone)

Other Hell scenes (e.g. Beelzebub and the dung pits demon)

Other Heaven scenes (e.g. Michael and Uriel arguing over duty officer etc)

A great deal of the demons/bookshop battle (to shorten it up/tighten it)

A great deal of Crowley in Heaven investigating Gabriel's trial/disappearance (again just to shorten/tighten, but not lose completely)

And again, this is all stuff that could easily be cut and the story of season 2 would remain the same, but look at how much of what makes this show so great would be lost.

Ultimately, I'm not here to tell you how to feel. I can tell you what I feel, which is outraged and devastated and grieving and ready to storm studios with pitchforks and a frothy mouth. But I recognize that the Terry Pratchett estate went to bat for us in a big way, and we owe them everything we get in this upcoming finale.

I have other thoughts on this whole nonsense, but I'll save that for another post. Just wanted to provide some numbers data for folks who are curious about what could reasonably be done in 90 minutes. Hope this helps in some way.

@goodomensafterdark @fuckyeahgoodomens

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 2x05 review - this should be WAY messier than it is

I was talking to @jewels20 about this horrible show and we were laughing because I was like, idk everyone is insufferable except Conrad who doesn't have enough of a personality to be insufferable, he's just around being sad and everyone hates him for it. Like, he's just THERE trying to deal with his mother's death, guys. He hasn't actually DONE anything. He's just a guy. Who's sad. And I just find it really funny because they frame as like this enigma or this asshole and I'm just like idk, he just seems sad.

No more recaps, I'm a professional.

I was like what does the opening tune of the show remind me of because I swear I've heard something like it and I realized it reminds me of season 1 YOU.

It's even in the little things, if Jere is supposed to be frenzied running up the stairs, then RUN up the stairs, this is a light jog, sir, you might as well just walk.

I don't know what he's looking for. If everything is gone downstairs, it seems only natural that things would be gone upstairs too.

"Everything's gone" I mean ... LOOK AROUND?

This is the most emotion Conrad has shown and it's not even mediocre, it just SEEMS decent in the context of how flat everyone -- including him -- usually is.

Again this whole fight should be a FIGHT, talk over one another, if you're trying to stop Conrad from railing up on Skye, Conrad actually has to come in with that energy, wrench away, everything is SO careful, too careful for this to have the energy needed to match Jeremiah's monotonous voiceover about everything be fucked.

Why is this dude -- the festival worker dude -- STILL here? How does this have anything to do with you?

Jere: I DON'T LOOK UP TO MY BIG BROTHER ANYMORE AFTER THIS YEAR. I CAN TAKE CHARGE also Jere: KEEPS tapping a key card as if it'll suddenly unlock the door after it's been rejected like ten times.

"My mom works the randomnest hours so that alone should..." then why didn't you say this after the, like, sixth time Jeremiah tried to use his clearly deficient key card?

I need Belly's brother to shut up.

"Are you OK?" *Conrad proceeds to explain how he's feeling* have the writers ever written before? I...

"That invisible force between the two of them" WHERE? WHERE?

W H E RE?

"And it's tearing her up that you haven't responded to her texts since last summer" that is not what I saw. I saw her make a frowny face.

"Like it hurts, my chest physically hurts to not be able to tell her that I'm in love with her" then I need MORE than what I am SEEING. If you're going to have this kind of dialogue have the energy to match it.

"And my genius plan to stay pissed at her and keep her at arm's length is a failure" Yeah we saw that already, why are we rehashing in a voiceover? Also why was it a failure though because she didn't really do anything to make you crumble? Like ... none of these dynamics are believable or earned. They're all so hollow.

"You do have a flair for the epic." It's a screening room.

Yeah, they are marginally less terrible than her and Conrad. I kind of almost believe this

more than the beach anyway. And when they stop and do the stare I believe that more than when she and Conrad stop and do the stare.

How on the nose, The Apartment on the projector when Belly is beginning the process of switching brothers. Again. (It's a "don't slut shame" message for the viewer).

"She'd go all out. She'd pick a theme and pick three movies in a row" unless it's watching the director's cut of LOTR back-to-back-to-back that is not boast worthy. That's just a classic binge and I don't even really consider that a binge. A fourth movie would be a binge.

You can put The Apartment up on the projector all you want, Belly is messy for this. So is Jere.

Oh this Taylor/Steven scene looks long, I am skipping it.

"I know she missed having you as a friend" oh honey, she's switched over now.

"I wanted to call you" "I wish you would've. I would've answered. I would've come' right but you said nothing to him during holiday dinner? LOL OK BELLY.

Guys, she's horrible. I'm sorry, but she really is.

Honestly, if you write out the plot, this show should be WILD, like Belly likes Conrad and kisses his younger brother Jeremiah because of reasons then Conrad is like hey I like you so she kisses Conrad like, what, a day later, two days later, the same day? Then she tells Jere hey I actually want to be with your brother then gets with said brother, sleeps with said brother, breaks up with said brother because he was sad at prom, tells said brother to go to hell and that she hates him at his mother's wake, then proceeds to start crushing on Jeremiah again? THIS SHOULD BE A ROLLERCOASTER.

lol Conrad does nooooooot care that Jere's pissed.

The minute I saw the golf cart I was like, oh good, another DC reference.

"I think I loved Conrard longer and true than anyone in my whole life" I mean you're like 5 minutes old, Belly, who could you have possibly loved longer?

And dialogue like this would be fine if I thought the show tapped into what it feels like to be a teenager in love, like Dawson's Creek really tapped into how you feel at 15/16, how heightened everything can be, all the hyper-dramatic emotions so that when Dawson and Joey are like YOU ARE MY SOULMATE and Pacey and Joey are like YOU HAVE MY FUTURE, YOU HAVE MY HEART and Pacey and Andie are like YOU ARE MY HERO I'm like yes, that makes sense.

Even Allison and Scott, like yeah, that's a first love

and Crystal sells it with HOW she speaks about him

"Cause I don't know if I can survive that" AGAIN where is the DRAMA? WHERE was this love she could never recover from? I SHOULD BE GETTING THIS ENERGY

oh this show pisses me off.

Skye and Cam Cameron have the most solid dynamic and they're barely side characters.

"I'll text her right now" you shouldn't text your teacher/authority figure at night, Belly. But why am I surprised when she doesn't have any boundaries.

Skye: "We worked so hard on this" they have the most conviction out of everyone there.

"It's pretty clear to me now that I never actually did" Why? Because he gave her a noogie.

This show is so unserious.

And the coach should not be replying at night either.

she cannot be serious.

I don't think she's supposed to be as insufferable as she is.

The house is sold.

[thewayhomehallmark]

2x05: Long Time Gone -

Well shit. That was intense! Such a crazy ending to the episode. I think we all probably assumed something bad was going to happen. We can't get Jacob back that easily. Wow.

All the stuff with Elliot's dad is so sad. I love that Alice went back to be with him and that he confided in her. That was sweet.

Of course Kat and Elliot are fighting. It's their love language.

The rest of the plots were fun. I loved Del stripping down. I loved seeing some more of Casey. I'm really hoping they stick around because I would love a Alice/Casey romance.

What did you think? Let me know what you'd like me to gif.

[popwirenet]

#TheWayHome Episode 'How to Save a Life' Recap: The Mark of a Witch! 💦🕰️🏡 @HallmarkChannel @TheWayHomeHC

[cbrownjc]

Some Quick EP 2x05 Predictions

So yes I'm excited as hell about this episode and will be avoiding things online starting at 7 AM my time tomorrow (Saturday) since I know that is when Australia will get to see the episode and I do not want to be spoiled. Because this is the episode I have most been waiting for since I learned about it.

And there honestly isn't much of anything I need from the episode itself. For me, Devil's Minion having happened in the past was fully confirmed back in episode 2x02, and now I just want to see how the show slowly unfolds the story. But there are still some thoughts and predictions I have in my head that I want to note before the episode airs.

Again, this isn't stuff I'm hoping for, just stuff I feel we might see or might happen based on what we know so far:

-- After the fight at the end of 2x04, Armand will be missing/gone during the Dubai scenes for some reason. Because so far, all the little glimpses we've gotten wrt the Dubai scenes have been Louis and Daniel by themselves. For Armand to not be there, even just to keep an eye on things, then something really must be up (or was said during that fight that we just didn't see).

-- We will find out where Armand is/went off to in the present day at the end of the episode. (And if we see Armand talking to Justin Kirk's character, that will confirm he's Marius, even if he's still calling himself Raglan James.)

-- In 1973, Louis and Armand actually weren't living together in the apartment at 503 Disavadiro Street where Louis and Daniel had their interview. Either Armand lives in another, separate apartment in that same building, or he lives in another place altogether. IMO, this is confirmed by the last line we hear at the end of episode 2x04 when Armand says, "I was at home picking --" Which, along with the door we hear opening and then slamming shut when Armand comes in calling Louis' name implies Armand has just arrived at that location. Meaning that where Louis is is not Armand's home.

-- In the 1994 movie, a specific line was added -- that isn't in the book -- when movie!Daniel asks movie!Louis to turn him. And that was movie!Daniel saying that what movie!Louis wanted -- what movie!Louis was looking for -- was a companion. And I think tv!Daniel is going to say the same thing to tv!Louis. The show has very much been emphasizing that two vampires who are chosen companions is a much deeper connection than even just being lovers. And so I think that will be part of what will be included when Daniel asks Louis to turn him in the show -- Daniel offering himself to be Louis' companion.

-- Daniel offering to be Louis' companion will definitely have him thinking about Lestat and I don't think that alone is what will set Louis off into attacking Daniel -- but I don't think it's going to help.

-- As is already quite clear, part of what keeps Daniel alive after Armand gets hold of him is jealousy, as well as curiosity, about why Louis would open up to this seemingly random human boy in such a way, when Louis has not done so with Armand himself. And that is going to be what continues to keep Armand from killing Daniel -- just his own curiosity about him continuing to grow. And, by the end of the episode, I think we'll hear Armand say to Daniel what he said in the book about that in one of the final flashback scenes: "As long as I find you interesting, I won't kill you." This will give a hint as to why Daniel is still alive in the present day, but still will not give the full story as to why just yet either.

-- That is NOT Daniel who Louis and Armand are carrying out of the house in the surveillance photo taken by the Talamasca. That is the man who was wrapped in plastic, with his mustache shaved off. Things are being staged to make it look like that is what is happening, but it is not.

-- "I know where he is." This is either Armand talking to Louis about where Lestat is, or . . . Armand talking to Daniel about where Louis has gone off to -- which would be to go and find Lestat. Either way, I feel that line is connected to something having to do with Lestat.

-- In Dubai, Louis is going to get some type of memory back from some event that we saw in Season 1 -- but this time it will contain extra context that we didn't see then -- that going to have Louis realize that his memories about things are way more faulty than he initially thought -- to the point where it all really shakes him to the core. And he and Daniel will both agree to figure out what and why, as their gaps in memory will seem quite similar to each other.

-- I don't know what it'll be or the context it'll be presented in, but we'll see something of REAL Lestat in this episode IMO. Either in 1940s Paris, or 1973, or . . . in the present day. Just because I'll be incredibly shocked if Sam Reid isn't in the episode at all. Even if it is just for 30 seconds I think Lestat will be seen in some kind of way.

And that's kinda it. Not much longer of a wait now! 😊

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

TSITP 2x05 - “Love Fool” : Quotes

“- And this asshole won’t even pick up my... calls.” (Conrad)

“- Thank you, Skye, for that bleak as fuck assessment.” (Steven)

“- I mean, for them, losing something is just another excuse to get a... better something. (...) Careful. That’s almost a compliment. (Steven) - Almost. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” (Taylor)

“- Cam Cameron, fountain of gossip. I did not expect that side of you.” (Skye)

“- Actually, I’ve known you a long-ass time. Yeah, you and Bella used to play princess together for years. (Steven) - So? You ran around asking everyone to place doctor. That doesn’t mean you grew up to be a complete perv.” (Taylor).

“- Yeah, but you can’t just... you can’t just smoke random weed. (Belly) --> True imagine it was cut with Fentanly.  - Belly, it’s not random weed. It’s Lost and Found rich people weed. (Taylor) (...) - Why don’t we take this outside before Cam Cameron has a stroke?” (Jeremiah)

“- Steven really hurt me last year. It’s just... It’s not the kind of hurt that just goes away easily. You know? (Taylor) --> This can be applied to Jeremiah.  - Yeah. (Belly) - Or, like, ever, maybe. (Taylor) - Yeah, I get it. (Belly) - I know you do. (Taylor) - I think I loved Conrad longer and truer than anyone in my whole life. And I’ll probably never love anyone like that again. To be honest, it’s kind of a relief. ‘Cause I don’t know, I don’t know if I could survive that. (Belly) - Can we make a pact? Can we just leave first love in the past? Like, where it belongs? I saw you and Jeremy (wtf no one say his name like this) on the boardwalk. And tonight on the couch. There’s something there. Doesn’t matter how far apart you sit, you know? It’s there. (Taylor) - Yeah, I feel like there... could be something, you know? (Belly) - Mm-hmm. (Taylor) - Like this charge building between us. But, you know, then he reminds me how much I hurt him before. I don’t know. I’m like... I shouldn’t even be thinking about him like that.”  (Belly)

“- Come on, man. Nobody’s playing Truth or Dare right. It’s either you go big or you go home. (Steven) - Agreed. This needs to get way more Euphoria.” (Taylor)

“- Does it get any easier? (Jeremiah) - Yeah. It’s always there, you know. The pain starts to... you know, feel more like a scar that it does a scab. Like, sometimes something totally random will set you off. A song she used to play for you or,.... little yellow tree air fresheners she had in her car and the...pain just feels brand-new again. Everything goes back to normal. Eventually. Whatever the hell that means. (Cam Cameron) - Yeah, the fuck if I know.” (Jeremiah)

“- Oh, I wish you boys had gone home. (Aunt Julia) - You’re not getting us to abandon our house, Julia. (Conrad) - It’s not your house, Conrad. It won’t be mine for long, either. (Aunt Julia) - Julia, please. We have an idea, okay? (Jeremiah) - A buyer has made an offer on the house and I’ve officially accepted it. It won’t be mine for long either. The house is sold.” (Aunt Julia)

“- Jere, you don’t have to be a part of this. (Conrad) - What did I say? Just no more doing everything alone. Okay? (Jeremiah) - I’m hoping that since I got the connect from Liam, that they’ll respond by tomorrow. Okay. Well, as soon as they do, we’ll let Julia know that we have an offer she can’t refuse.” (Jeremiah)

[eldrai]

I’ve been reading lots of stuff about autistic Hotch. How do you think Hotch stims? Are there any gifs/examples from episodes?

OKAY so this is going to be a long list because I just went back through the episodes I've seen up to specifically looking for examples! But thank you for asking. I've been meaning to collect examples somewhere.

(I'll preface this with saying that everyone stims and just because I mention something here doesn't mean anyone is automatically autistic because they do that too.)

The main thing I can think of is what I very descriptively call "the hand thing" he does.

This is probably the clearest example of it in a gif I could find. What I mean is the way he rubs his thumb over the ends of his fingers. I see it as a fairly subtle way to stim and it tends to come up mostly when he's either thinking or stressed. That's the main thing I've picked up on because he does it quite a lot; I haven't gone over the earlier episodes specifically yet - only skimmed certain parts based on the incidences of it I found going through screencaps from @masterwords - it seems most prevalent in the earlier seasons.

A few more examples - they don't all have the actual motion in them but you can see his fingers curled up like that. He also brings his hand up near his face somewhat often, again usually when he's thinking.

He also does it a ton while walking and standing in general. Some more screenshots (thanks again @masterwords)

Two occasions stick out to me, both when he was distressed or highly worried at least. First is in Omnivore (4x18). It isn't strictly the thumb-over-the-fingers but it is similar, with his hand balled up and almost hiding his face at first.

And the second I really like because we get the hand stim very clearly but also rocking! It's in 2x08, when Derek refuses to step away from the lady with a bomb under her car. Please ignore the choppy editing and audio lol I just needed to show this:

Here we also see the same thing he does in the above gif of 4x18 - the teeth grinding. I think that's only when he's under a fair bit of distress though.

I've been keeping track of it from now on partly because one day I'm going to compile everything into one absurdly long meta. So I've undoubtedly missed many times and my timings might be a little off but here's some if you want to see examples:

LDSK - 11:23

3x15 - 3:00

1x08 - bomb + rocking

2x15 -

5x03 - start + middle

7x07 - tapping

3x12 - 6min

3x11 - 22min

2x23 - 6min + 30min

2x19 - 39min

2x08 - 31min + earlier

2x05 - 29min

2x02 - 37min

1x21 - 30min

1x16 - 17min

4x18 - after bus

9x06 - 24min with pen

9x08 - 8min 10s

9x09 -5min 30s, 7:57, 22:40

9x11 - 29:46

9x13 - 6:55

9x14 - 4:40, 29:50

As you can see, it's the most noticeable for me in the early seasons. 9x06 was around when I started keeping track as I watch, not retrospectively, for context.

Not all of these are the hand thing! Some are things like when he picks up a pen he tends to keep it in hand even when he's not actually writing anything, just slightly fiddling with it constantly. And again that's nowhere near JUST an autistic thing but I notice it in addition to the main hand thing.

Another thing is, mostly when he's anxious and holding something like a phone, he'll tap his fingers lightly against it. I have a clip of him somewhere on my blog doing it in 7x07.

There's also what he does with his hands when he isn't stimming that's interesting to me.

Hotch spends a lot of time with his arms either crossed or his hands in his pockets. Often the hand thing and the crossed arms happen at the same, where he'll have his right arm across his chest and with his left running his thumb over his fingers.

I find it really interesting because I read that as trying not to stim. Because if his hands are in his pocket, he can't. If he's got his arms folded, he can't. I'd imagine it fits well with him and his backstory. He's quite reserved in general so it makes sense he wouldn't want to stim very openly even if it's a subtle thing, and then you add in the implications from 1x08 and it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine he was discouraged, whether consciously or not, not to.

Then again, it could also simply be a comfort thing to do something with his hands rather than not stimming. Could be counted as stimming itself - something like pressure.

But in order of most to least frequent, the canon stimming I see from him is

The hand thing

Fidgeting with pens, etc.

Teeth grinding

Rocking

[honeybear-yammy]

Intervention

Warnings: cursing, mentions of drugs, intervention, friendships getting ruined, angsty

Pairings: Maddy Perez x Female Reader x Cassie Howard (platonic)

Summary: In which Y/N, Cassie, Maddy and Kat are trying to help Rue through an intervention but, a bitter argument starts.

Characters: Maddy Perez & Cassie Howard (played by Alexa Demie & Sydney Sweeney)

Show: Euphoria

Requested: I believe this was requested by @gillybear17

Author's Note: this fic is based off 2x05

© Honeybear-Yammy, please do not steal, translate, copy, or transfer my work.

You, Maddy, Cassie and Kat walked in. When you walked in you saw Rue standing there. Jules had told you what had gone down with Rue and her earlier just as a warning so, you all knew what you were getting yourselves into. 

But she was your friend and all you wanted to do was help Rue so of course you would come and try to help her. You didn't want her to end up killing herself because of the drugs. You walked over and hugged Rue then Maddy did the same after you.

Leslie was there too which didn't shock you. Jules was the one who told Leslie what was going on, even though Rue freaked out at Jules for doing so but, honestly Jules was just doing what she thought was right and she did do the right thing by telling Leslie.

You, Cassie, Maddy, Kat, and Leslie spent a lot of time trying to talk to Rue and trying to give her solutions on trying to solve her drug problem. This was going on for a long time, you guys suggesting things to try to help her and Rue shooting them down.

And the whole time you, Maddy, Cassie and Kat were trying to help her and suggest stuff, not only would she shoot them down but she would say something rude to all of you while you guys were just trying to help her.

Rue got up and ended up sitting at the top of the stairs slightly holding herself. She was sweaty and did not look well at all. You and Maddy looked at eachother concerned then looked back at Rue.

"This can't make you feel good Rue, living like this, lying to the people you love, being mean to the people you love. This can't make you feel good about yourself." Leslie said. 

"I don't care just fucking leave me alone please." Rue said.

"I know your in pain.." Leslie said walking closer to Rue.

"No fucking idea mom." Rue said.

"Let's get back into the car and let me take you to the hospital." Leslie said. 

"I can't get clean I can't do that shit forever." Rue said.

"You don't have to. Just take it one day at a time." Cassie said. You and Maddy nodded.

"Yeah Rue, I know this will be a hard process but, you don't have to do it all at once, just take baby steps." You said. Leslie nodded.

"Hey Cass.." Rue said.

"Yeah?" Cassie asked.

"I have a quick question for you." Rue said.

"What?" Cassie asked.

"How long have you been fucking Nate Jacobs?" Rue asked. You stood there in shock that Rue just said that. Was Cassie really fucking Nate Jacobs, your best friends ex? Cassie stood there in shock and was trying to find her words then started laughing nervously.

"Wh- what? What are you talking about?" Cassie asked. 

"How long have you been fucking Nate?" Rue asked again. Maddy looked both shocked and furious and she looked at you in disbelief. You looked back at Maddy with the same expression. 

"I'm not." Cassie said still laughing nervously. You knew she was fucking lying, it was so obvious. "I'm not." Cassie said again. Maddy finally decided to speak up.

"What are you talking about?" Maddy asked.

"Yeah really, what the fuck is all of this about?" You asked.

"Oh I just I- I saw her get into his truck and then kiss him and drive off that was like what like uh like a month ago." Rue said. 

"Uh-" Cassie said not knowing what to say as she stood there nervously. 

"Are you kidding me?" Maddy asked. You looked as Cassie in disbelief.

"You seriously are just.. fucking around with Maddy's ex?" You asked. Cassie stood there in tears now as she looked around still stuttering nervously trying to figure out what to say next.

"Cass that's like.. really bad." Kat said. Now Cassie had just broke down and she was starting to cry some now.

"You're fucking Nate? Are you kidding me?" Maddy asked pissed off.

"Seriously Cassie, what makes you think this is okay?!" You asked. Cassie still stood there fumbling with her words.

"I- no I- I don't even know why she would say that." Cassie said.

"You're lying!" Maddy snapped. 

"I- what the fuck Cassie! We can tell you are lying, you doing a terrible job and trying to lie about it." You said.

"Can we just table this conversation?" Suze said.

"No! No you expect me to stand here next to my best friend who's been lying to me about fucking my ex-boyfriend?! I'm literally gonna get violent!" Maddy said.

"No there is no need to get violent okay because we are having an intervention!" Suze said. 

"I'm begging you. Let's just get into the car." Leslie said softly. Rue shook her head. 

"I can't.." Rue said. As Leslie was trying to help Rue, Cassie was standing there and she was starting to cry uncontrollably. 

"Oh your crying? You're fucking crying?" Maddy started to yell as she walked over to Cassie. 

"I- Maddy! I know your mad but maybe we should talk about this later when Rue is better." You said but Maddy was too pissed off to listen.

"You fucking bitch, you're the one whose hurt?" Maddy asked. You and Kat followed Maddy trying to at least calm her down some.

"The most self-centered idiotic person I have ever fucking met! You fucked my ex and you're fucking crying?! Are you fucking kidding me?!" Maddy said. 

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry but I don't give a shit who's fucking who, okay? If you're gonna keep talking about it get out of the room!" Leslie said.

"Absolutely. You're being an animal." Suze said. There was a bunch of yelling until Cassie spoke up again.

"I don't even know why you're believing her she's a drug addict!" Cassie said. 

"Are you fucking serious right now Cassie?! Gonna say shit like that about Rue when she is right fucking there obviously struggling?!" You snapped.

"How long have you been fucking him? Be honest." Maddy said. 

"Maddy, let's just do it later." Kat said.

"Kat shut the fuck up!" Maddy snapped. "Hong long have you been fucking him?" Maddy asked Cassie again. Cassie stood there silently. Maddy then turned in the direction Rue was in.

"Rue?" Maddy asked.

"I- Maddy.. you can see Rue's state right now, let's just not bring her into this." You said. 

"Yeah we can just do it later." Kat said. Rue just sat there looking at them.

"Listen let's just get into the car okay." Leslie said.

"When was this?" Maddy asked Rue. Rue sat there for a minute then finally spoke.

"Right after New Year's." Rue said. Maddy was even more pissed and looked back at Cassie.

"You dumb fucking bitch! I'm gonna fucking-" Before Maddy could finish, Cassie ran off and ran upstairs.

"Don't fucking run away from me stupid bitch!" Maddy yelled as she started to run after Cassie but you and Kat grabbed Maddy.

"Okay that's enough Maddy!" Kat said.

"Yeah come on, it's not worth it, let's just go home.." You said. Before Maddy could protest you and Kat pulled Maddy out and left with her. You felt so fucking bad for Rue, you guys were suppose to be there to help her but then that shit happened.

You and Kat got into the car with Maddy and drove off hoping that she would calm down enough that the three of you could talk about it calmly.

Author's Note: tysm for reading!