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kit-kat-katie · 7 months

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I love you, but you love him, and he loves me

A/N: Sometimes I forget that the things that I say have a tendency to age like milk... apologies for the lack of updates and fics. I've been drowning in schoolwork since the semester started and I haven't had much of a chance to work on an extended fic like Our Time. The current plan is to have this post up for February, put up a Johanna fic in April/May, and then finish up Our Time over the summer (hopefully). Anyways, here's some Clove fluff that's a week late for Valentine's Day! :D

oh, thanks for 100 followers! I am so happy that people enjoy my content without a regular schedule. thank you so so much again!

TW: underage drinking/smoking, brief mention of weed, small fighting scene, reader is put into uncomfortable romantic situation

Pairing: Clove x GN! Reader (Rivals to Lovers in 2x speed)

Summary: You love Clove. She likes Cato. Cato likes you. Your life is a comedic love triangle until your best friend's drunken disaster causes you to connect with Clove and discover something new about her.

“On your left.”

Catelyn gives you a quick warning before flipping you on the back and slamming you against the mat. You squirm against her grip for a moment before spotting a weakness in her legs.

An opening.

You grab her leg and pull her to the ground before taking her hands and pinning them to the ground.

“Don’t count me out yet.” You sneer as she scoffs.

“Fucker.” She mumbles as a buzzer goes off in the distance.

You immediately jump off of her and offer a hand up, which Catelyn begrudgingly takes.

“Trying to impress your girl?” She raises an eyebrow before you shove her aside.

Clove’s staring at the two of you, well, just you since Catelyn’s stepped off the mat to grab a drink of water. Her eyes immediately drift off to look elsewhere as you let out a sigh.

You wish she’d look at you longer, as much as she looked at Cato.

It’s funny, in an ironic way.

You love her.

She loves him.

And he’s paused his sparring to walk over to you.

Probably to ask you on a date or to go drinking or to go do something with romantic undertones that you don’t want to do.

So he loves you.

Catelyn had egged the two of you on before realizing that you wanted nothing more than for him to leave you alone. You didn’t want to refuse Cato’s invitations - he was the choice for a Hunger Games tribute in the near future, and that’d piss off more people than your trickiness could outmaneuver.

Perhaps running through a nearby window would be the best way to avoid him?

…And he’s right in front of you.

You glance behind him, only to see Clove's jaw tighten.

Fuck.

An invite.

“That's all he wanted?” Catelyn teases as you make your way to the place where Cato always invited you after sparring practice.

It wasn't like the two of you were going to be alone. It was a tradition for the top contenders for this year's Hunger Games to engage in a few… adult activities before the Reaping occurred. This way, the two tributes shipped off could get to enjoy a little bit of adulthood before heading to the Capital.

It wasn't anything too awful, just some cheap booze and a few blunts to pass around. Any people that passed you all by would simply look the other way - who'd want to risk being harassed by a group of teenagers?

You didn't usually partake beyond a few sips from some cheap bottle of booze - someone needed to carry Catelyn home, after all.

When the two of you slip behind a pair of buildings, a few boys around Cato's age wave you over.

“Let's get this over with.” You grumble, hoping to spend this evening without uncomfortably resting in Cato's arms.

You failed.

Horrendously.

When you arrived, Cato threw an arm around you and hasn't let you go since. You're tempted to drink more so you don't remember what he's said or done, but seeing your friend nearly face plant into a campfire has you rethinking that decision.

As if matters couldn't get any worse, Clove arrived just in time to see Cato place a kiss on your cheek. She huffs before glaring at the two of you from a fair distance away.

This time, you notice, her glare isn't directed at you.

She's glaring at him.

Catelyn's barely able to stumble forward as you throw an arm around your shoulder. She excitedly points at a lamppost and tries to point at it, but she ends up falling out of your grasp and onto the barren road.

“Catelyn, c’mon,” You try to coax your friend from the ground, but she shakes her head, “We've got to get home before sunrise.”

“Nu-uh!” She slurs, face-down in the pavement.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose until you hear footsteps come from behind you.

“Need some help?”

In all of her brazen glory, your knight-in-shining-armor (a black leather jacket, a plain t-shirt, and blue jeans), Clove, offers to help.

“If you don't mind, I know you might be busy with someone else.” You quietly say as she shakes her head.

“I wanted to take a walk to clear my head, away from everyone else.” She grabs Catelyn from the ground, who whines like a petulant child, before you hoist one of Catelyn’s arms over your shoulder.

Clove does the same, and the three of you walk in silence until a biting question slips off her tongue.

“Do you like Cato?”

“Absolutely not.” The answer leaves your lips before you can refine the words with a bit more thought. “We're friends, sure, but I don't feel anything for him.”

Relief escapes her lips as she takes a deep breath out, then in. She smiles, as do you in return.

“Good, good. I was worried that you were into him.”

“Why?” You stop, which causes Clove to stop.

“I thought- I thought I liked him, but I saw him kissing you and… I didn't like how it made me feel.” She blushes at her honesty as you bite your lip.

“If you like him, Clove, you can have him. I certainly don't want him.”

She harshly laughs before turning to look at you.

“Don't you get it? All of those times that I saw you two together, I thought I was jealous of you. Today, after seeing him draped over you, I realized that I'm jealous of him.”

Her confession leaves you breathless as you pause to consider her words.

She… likes me.

“Clove, I…” It's your turn to get nervous as you try to meet Clove’s unwavering gaze. “I really, really like you too.”

Catelyn, in a moment of drunken clarity, lifts her head up to look at the both of you before loudly sighing.

“Just kiss already, you idiots!” She lets go of the both of you to (not-so) gracefully fall on the ground as your arm finds its way around her.

You lean in to kiss her, before pausing.

“Is this okay?” You mumble, centimeters away from her lips.

A mischievous smile slips onto her face as she answers by kissing you back.

You wouldn't have many nights like this again, but this night would always be special to you.

#fanfic #the hunger games #the hunger games fanfic #the hunger games fluff #the hunger games x reader #x reader #clove kentwell fluff #clove kentwell fanfic #clove kentwell x reader #clove kentwell

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attorney-anon · 9 months

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Hey, I’m a law student and I’m also autistic and ADHD and I was wondering if you have any tips for working in law as a neurodivergent person? I love my course and I can’t wait to work but the 85% unemployment statistic really scares me.

This is a long answer, so I'm going to cut it for the sake of mobile users. I do link some products below; I'm not getting paid, and I'm only linking them because they honestly work for me. Also, as a caveat, a lot of this advice assumes that you're American and/or working in-person at a private law firm; unfortunately, that's my only experience other than a month doing part-time intake for my regional legal aid service.

The biggest hurdle you will meet is the bar exam*: you need a study buddy who does not have ADHD and can help keep you on track. Don't study separately then meet up; do things like watching lecture videos together and keeping pace with one another in person. I'm not ADHD myself, but my best friend and forever study partner is, and she struggled to self-start.

Buy a bar prep course. This is not the time to be a scrooge; don't buy Kaplan just because it's cheaper (it also sucks). Barbri and Themis are both good - of these, use whichever you can get for cheapest or, if the costs are comparable, use Barbri if structure gives you comfort and use Themis if you need some control over the order in which you do things. Also use Themis if humor engages you; the Property and Contracts lecturers are hilarious. Stick to your bar prep program, but be gentle with yourself if you fall behind pace - realistically, you need to get through all the topics at least once, but you don't have to do every practice MPT, every practice essay, and every practice MBE quiz. Use the same study techniques that got you through law school. IMO, useful supplemental tools include the Critical Pass flashcards (get them used if possible, or get a referral code from somebody) and the Finz Multistate Method guide. Do your best to treat the bar exam as a game - because it is one.

There's a strategy for every section, and you should practice these strategies. For the MBE, use the Finz method - it works. For the MEE, or any other essay exam, use IRAC - and make up the R if you need to. The UBE, and most state bar exams, are graded such that you do get more points for knowing the rule, but you can still get points if you make up a reasonable-sounding rule and then apply it correctly. For the MPT, just throw in as many case and rule cites as possible. Try to cite every document you're given.

Join a bar prep FB group if you use FB; I was in Themis Memes for Should-Be-Studying Teens, but I know there's a Barbri group too. I found that being able to laugh at my bar prep course made it less miserable to do it. Don't be afraid to turn the videos on 2x or 0.5x speed - or faster or slower as needed. Some of the Themis lecturers talk to slowly that we went up to 3x; one of them talks so fast I had to slow him down.

Practice for the test in as many different environments as you can. I took the 2020 Pandemic Bar, so my bar was different than standard (I took it in a hotel room with my back to the door and proctors patrolling the hallways, it was mildly traumatizing fun), but I highly recommend getting used to noise while you're taking the test. Your ADHD/Autism hyperfocus will help here - make the bar exam your hyperfixation to the extent possible.

Once you pass the bar exam, your next hurdle will be the job search. You are going to have to mask for interviews, there's just no getting around it, but how much you mask will depend on your area of law. Big Law firms and intense, litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., business lit or criminal law) will expect you to be gregarious, friendly, and charming from the get-go; less litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., probate or family law) will often have more tolerance for quieter, less aggressive types.

Do not panic if you wind up at a less-than-favorable firm on your first or even your second job; a lateral shift between firms won't kill your resume as long as you can give a tactful reason you left (e.g., "I found that I prefer to focus on X instead of Y," or "I found that I had more opportunities to explore X at Y firm, and I am interested in focusing on X"). It is not normal to cry every day after work. It is not normal to routinely have panic attacks in the bathroom.

Once you have a job, billing is going to be difficult unless you gamify it. I use the Finch self-care app, so I have a task at the end of every week to make sure I have billed my time. My friend rewards herself for every day she bills by buying herself a new pen. Some people thrive off of timers (MyCase and Clio are popular case management software programs; both have timers built-in), but if nothing else, simply note when you start tasks and when you finish them by sending e-mails to yourself (or others, if relevant) at the end of every task. If your case management software can integrate with your e-mail (MyCase can integrate with Outlook, for instance), then use that to tag outgoing e-mails so you can be sure each one gets billed.

Outside of Big Law or intense practice areas, very few people bill 8 hours per day - a lot of the work you do will be non-billable, but also you will suffer from exhaustion or burnout if you try to bill 8 hours per day (my minimum is 20 hours per week, which is just 4 hours a day). You also will usually have some discretion in billing - use that to make yourself feel better if inattention issues make something take longer than you feel is fair. As for billing enough, if you find that you are most productive outside of work hours, find a firm that will let you access client files offsite - work at home if they'll let you.

I do a lot of my best billing either in the mornings right when I get to work or at 10:00 at night. That's okay so long as you take breaks during the workday (I watch a lot of TikTok during my breaks, but I also fiddle with various online games and such); you'll need mental rest to reset between cases. If you struggle with task-switching, use a break to help reset your focus. I strongly recommend setting an alarm for yourself during breaks so that time blindness doesn't derail you. Make your alarm kind of annoying; something you won't just mindlessly ignore.

Let yourself hyperfocus on things; all of that time you spend researching and drafting and correcting and perfecting that motion or brief is billable, and it's also good practice of law - your client and your partner will appreciate your thoroughness, and the judge will almost never hate it (some judges prefer brevity, but I've never had a judge upset at me for wordiness).

I also recommend getting apps that can automate things for you; I use Espanso to make my life easier by having easy-to-type shortcuts for common phrases and information (e.g., the current date, my bar card number, my work e-mail address, etc.). You can customize these things to make sense to your own brain - your process doesn't have to work for anyone but you. Similarly, I use macros in Word to make drafting go faster by letting buttons do all my formatting for me.

Excel sheets make excellent task lists because you can split them up by case, and set them up to highlight things (e.g., today's date) automatically. Most firms will have some kind of "docket meeting" where everyone goes over the status on each case - some people prefer handwritten notes (my best friend does), some people prefer digital notes (I have an excel workbook I use). Find a method that reduces distractions but lets you keep up with the flow of conversation.

On the topic of technology, if your firm provides a computer for you, or if your firm will provide accessories to supplement your own computer, push to have multiple monitors - I use my own laptop, but my boss provides monitors and I have two plus my laptop screen. It is WAY easier to keep up with billing if you can keep your time entry software open and visible on one of your screens.

You will be spending a lot of time in your office; make it comfortable. Once you are making enough to get by, invest in a good office chair (that you own, so you can take it with you if you leave the firm) and some basic office supplies that you like, such as a post-it note dispenser (mine is a cat!). My office chair is designed to let me sit cross-legged - I highly recommend having an office chair that matches your most comfortable sitting style. Having some things that are yours will make any future moves less awkward. I also strongly, strongly recommend getting some simple and quietish fidget toys - I have several spinners, wacky tracks, tangles, and clicky fidgets in one of my desk drawers, amongst others, to help me self-stim, as well as a sensory sticker on my desk pad (on the linked set, I have the rough version of the bottom middle sticker, the rainbow finger labyrinth one).

For me, I find that actual litigation requires scripting. Whether it's an oral argument or just a temporary orders hearing, I typically have every word I intend to say written down as much as I can (re-direct examination or re-cross examination can't be scripted before the day of, but I usually at least scrawl a summary of the question I need to ask as I'm taking notes). I don't necessarily read from it, and sometimes I veer off-script, but there is a specific comfort in having the words scripted out. On the few occasions I have ad-libbed things, I find that I come off less authoritative and confident, which gives the judge the impression that I am guessing. I also find comfort in having a copy of the code I need (which is always the Texas Family Code for me) on-hand at the counsel table. You are allowed to tell the judge you'd like to consult the statute when the judge asks you a question.

I also find that, for courtroom litigation, it's worthwhile to make sure your court clothes are comfortable. Courtrooms in my area are universally a little too warm, so I have a linen blazer that breathes and a variety of shell tops that don't have sleeves. I also have bad ankles, so I wear exclusively flats despite the fact that I am less than 5 feet tall. For me, heat sensitivity is a part of my sensory issues so I am all about setting myself up for success. It's also worthwhile to bring extra water bottles; at my firm (we are almost all ND in some regard), the standard is 2 per attorney and 1 for each support staff, then 1 for the client.

For out-of-court days, even "business" can be comfortable if you're a creative shopper. My last firm required business attire, though not necessarily courtroom attire. I wore a lot of dresses to stay cool, and a solid-color dress in a modest cut paired with a black blazer (which you can remove when you're just working in your office) almost always makes the cut. For those who don't like or can't wear dresses, comfortable slacks and a modest blouse or dress shirt, paired with a blazer, also works. My current firm only requires business casual for client meetings, courtroom attire for court, and otherwise as long as we cover our shoulders and don't wear shorts, we're good to go. I use a cardigan to cover my shoulders when I'm outside my office, as most of my blouses are sleeveless. It's worthwhile to invest in a good office sweater anyway; I like a thin t-shirt material cardigan for me, but my officemate uses a pullover knit sweater. Do what's comfortable.

Office meetings, or even court hearings, can sometimes get loud and overstimulating - buy you some Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts, they really do help take some of the 'sharpness' off of the noise. I also recommend a playlist that contains binaural beats (assuming you like them) or colored (white, brown, pink, etc) noise and a solid pair of ANC headphones or earbud, depending on your preference (the linked products are far from the only options, they're just reasonably-priced options that I know work; I personally use first-gen Airpod Pros). If you don't like binaural beats or white noise, instrumentals of pop songs are also excellent.

You can also get phone apps that layer binaural beats over your music - I find that it sometimes helps me calm down when I'm close to a meltdown, though I personally feel worse at the lower frequencies (I usually stay around the alpha-beta frequency line, but ymmv). I think there are probably also some apps for colored noise over your music, but I haven't looked. If you haven't before, I recommend experimenting with binaural beats and/or colored noise - I find that they can help calm down some of the staticky feeling I get from overstimulation.

Offices also sometimes involve other sensory dangers - like, for instance, food texture issues (another big one for me). You can often get out of things like that by simply explaining that the food doesn't agree with you, or that you're not very hungry - or, if your boss knows that you have sensory issues (mine knows I'm autistic), you can just quietly explain that it's a sensory problem and you have it under control. Keep some safe snacks in your office. You can avoid alcohol, if you're picky about it or just don't like it, by explaining that you're not in the mood to drink (or that you don't drink, period) and that you'll stick to soda/tea/water/whatever. Only major assholes will push past that.

Most coping mechanisms for sensory issues can be justified with "I don't feel good" or "I have a headache."

If your office chair hurts your back, get up and walk around. You are not in elementary school; at most firms, you can step out and just let your coworkers know where'/how to find you, and when you'll be back.

For intra-office and extra-office communications, if you have any doubts about the quality of the communication, you can put it in writing afterwards. A quick e-mail saying, "Okay, so this is my understanding of X, please let me know if I've misunderstood anything or if anything changes" is a good CYA to cover any communication difficulties; don't use idioms or shorthand in these e-mails - actually spell out exactly what you think happened, or what you think you've been asked to do.

If you're worried about your tone in written communications, Chat GPT is good at doing a first draft. It can also do a first draft of your attorney bio, if you're asked to write it yourself. Tell it the message you want to convey, and the tone in which you need it said. For instance, if you need to convey to a pro se opposing party that your world does not revolve around them, but you want to do it professionally, you might tell Chat GPT, "Write a professional e-mail to my opposing party conveying that my world does not revolve around them and that I will get to them when I get to them." That won't give you a perfect e-mail, but it gives you an idea of how to set the tone. Never trust any citation the thing gives you, but you can also use it to simplify complex thoughts for motions that you need to be simpler.

Law practice is also emotionally draining. Take the time to cry if you need to, or to go outside or into a breakroom and breathe.

Essentially, working in law when you're ND means finding tools to help you. It's definitely doable (as I said, most of my current firm is ND), but you'll need to find coping mechanisms to soothe yourself. If you've gotten into law school, I think it's clear that you're competent enough to work. The trick is not burning yourself out entirely, which I hope the above can help with.

* - This is not and never will be an endorsement of bar exams as a measure of competence for new attorneys. The bar exam is a racist and classist institution born from the desire of old white men to keep their good-ol'-boys club exclusive. Fuck the NCBE and abolish bar exams nationwide.

#lawblr #real lawblr #ask anon #anonymous ask #bar exam #attorney

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bsideheart · 2 months

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Hey! :D

What the fuck! :D

Let me tell you, listening to the last mmmh, let's say 3 hours of the burning bridge audiobook at 1.5/2x speed while doing the dishes was an Experience TM.

The splitting of the party was truly where my nerves started being harrowed ngl, don't split up, is a rule that should be applied outside of the horror genre, imo, for my own health. Maybe it's cause of me reading asoiaf recently, but I hate the instances where shit is happening to characters in 2 different locations far apart, and they're both working on slightly different information and footing without easy communication cause that's how we get Tragedy.

Gilan riding like hell and demanding he go back for Will, Evelyn/Casandra and Horace made me lowkey sad, ilhsm, character of all time he's hilarious. His training of Will and Horace is very much giving me Star Wars jedi lineage vibes to me. Also, the scene where he dead ass shoots up like a Looney Toon character to bolt and inform everyone that Cassandra is, in fact, alive, had me gagged with giggles. Okay, thanks for nothing mourning wise, ig.

Speaking of Evelyn, I was vibing with her, secret and all, until it was revealed, she was the Princess of the Realm. Like, don't get me wrong, I still like her, but idk, man, it stuck as a little mmmh fixed? Like I get for plot, obvi the hostage situation had to work. Ppl needed a good reason to go after Will, its to raise the stakes cause what if they found out blah blah blah. But she could have just a random layperson with a huge secret, and I would have preferred it that way cause that way we get an outsider pov in the country/ conflict. I wouldn't even have minded her being some form of nobility. It just feels like a setup for Will to Get The Girl and the Girl is also the Princess. Man, idk.

But moving on. These lil shits. The first time, they're on the field (sort of), and they commit war time arson and mass property destruction. Like, okay, fun!!! But also, the slow and invisible, basically enslavement of the fantasy Gaelic people in their own country by an evil mfer from im assuming fantasy Britian gave me the chills. I might be stretching, but I live in Ireland, and the history of the brehan laws, an gorta mor and the indentured servitude is still present and kicking. Like well aware slayery and indentured labour in no way are the same thing, but the similarities crossed my mind on a surface level

The final battles were quite ingenious, really. The fake out, dive, split, and reform tactics were really good and plausible for the highly specific situation here.

Also Morograth sassy old Queen vibes??? Maybe I'm seeing things. He's so sarcastic and so open about the fact that he does not give 2 shits about killing a kid in unfair combat.

But lowkey the narrator speaking of some random figure running out to bitch slap Morgorath in the face with a gauntlet? First, I shouted out loud, "Gilan NO!" and then after a second even higher "HORACE NO!" Like that knife vine. Or that simpsons meme. That moment was so fucking hilarious to me I paused for a second to giggle at myself.

Also I See Now, the Horace Himbo agenda. No thoughts, head empty, just anger at his friend being held hostage. AND I MEAN TRULY NO THOUGHTS HE JUST THREW HIMSELF UNDER A FUCKING HORSE HOLY FUCK WHAT A SUICIDE MOVE?? LIKE IK HE HAS ARMOUR ON AND SHIT BUT HOLY FUCK THAT'S DEADLY. LITERALLY.

You, a natrually born and skilled fighter, blindly running into battle, underprepaed and fueled by anger and fear/mourning for your boy best friend? Mmmmh, kinda Achilles Aristos Achaion coded of you babes.

UGHHHH ANDDDD. The fact that Horace defeated Morg by being rescued by his horse (Will coded of him!) and then using a move taught to him by a ranger while he was training with 2 rangers, a huge community with a sense of reliance and family or at least geneialty while he himself hates that cause its narrative representation of that (Halt) defeated him, who rules his subordinates in the complete opposite fashion. Something there metaphorially.

Also hilarious that when Rodney is giving out to him for his reckless behaviour, Horace is so concussed he's convinced he's in trouble for not finishing the job of killing Morgarath so he gets back up to do it.

But kinda weird that Morgarath died so easy? He's not dead me thinks.

Okay. Morgarath calling Will Halt's whelp. It's funny if it weren't sad.

Also him running to coast, almost losing his horse in desperation, and losing his SHOE (obligatory sam winchester I lost my shoe gif insert here) trying to catch up to the boats, going apeshit on the bow n' arrow ON HORSE BACK BY THE WINDY ASS SEA AND TAKING BITCHES OUT TO THE DECK WHILE RIDING REINLESS??

I can just imagine the movie shots in my brain. The wide shots of the crashing sea. The shouting of the men and slapping of the oars. The establishing shot, a wide shot of Halt, a tiny figure against this hulking moving boat on the massive sea. A close shot of Halt loading and drawing his bow. The desperation bled of the page 100%.

Him shouting desperately to Will that he'll fine him (not even him and the princess just him) wherever they take him even tho he just rode all the to the coast all ready. Okiiii. And the fact that Will just shouted his name back at him. Like. Oughhh, just a kid. Shouting for his dad.

HATE that Halt is just left there standing on the shore. And we're left to imagine the after. Does he go back to camp. Does he stand there for hours until somebody notices his absence and follows his tracks? Is it Gilan? Rodney? Horace? Crowley and Co.? The Kings party? Does he stand there numb? Does he cry, lash out in anger with his poor horse beside him? Does Gilan blame himself for leaving the kid? Does Horace for being separated? Does Rodney try and comfort him? Does Crowley now think him a "loose canon"/flight risk? Do Halt and Duncan mourn the loss of their children together? Who tells Alyss? And Jenny? Does Alyss spend time with Halt for days after?

Holy fuck I gotta stop with this shit bro, the hole I'm digging here.

Crazy ass ending. I HATE it. More pls

HEY :D HEY GLAD TO HEAR IT :D i showed mh older sister this ask and they were giggling the whole time so rest assured you have very correct opinions. “don’t split up” is always a good rule ur right ur right !!

bro GILAN…………. he’s literally the best character and his dedication to getting that information back was beautiful, and when he went like “MY GOD ITS NOT HER” and halt spilled his glue all over himself 😭🙏

never really thought about evanlyn’s story feeling forced but ur right, maybe bc i was like 11 when i read for the first time but considering other possibilities is pretty interesting. as for the “setting up for will to get the girl and the girl is the princess”, well……… u just gotta see how this one plays out hehehehehhe it’s actually a fascinating way to handle a love triangle and yeah…… fantasy gaelic ppl enslaved by fantasy british ppl…….. the implications are there to be seen and it’s. ough.

MORGARATH MY LOVE he’s literally the most dramatic villain in the entire series. and “gilan no! HORACE NO!” HAD ME CACKLING GHFHSJDHS he’s so silly!! horace himbo agenda is true and real especially in the first few books!!! he has balls of steel for that horse move i genuinely thought he was gonna die. but he didn’t <3 and don’t worry morgarath is actually dead, it did seem pretty anticlimactic tho

AND THE SCENE OF HALT CHASING AFTER THEM IS JUST :( it’s so desperate and heartwrenching and the way he takes his horse as far into the water as he can while shooting and like. will calling for him as loud as he can BROOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 and then all those possibilities about what happened……………. my fragile soul can’t take this. did he mourn in private agony or did he lean on his friends for support i’m inclined to say the latter. but i think the next book gets into it kinda :3 WAIT. WAIT. WHO TELLS ALYSS OH MY GOD who tells alyss i’m gonna lay down in the ocean and never stand up fuck. fuck

please never feel ashamed of sending very long asks about rangers apprentice this was so much fun to read and answer, i cannot WAIT for you to read the next one!!! any character or plot thoughts in the meantime are welcome!! 🫶

#my post #asks #icarus #rangers apprentice

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conanssummerchild · 2 months

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im pissed and im petty and bitter so here are my ex best friends red flags bcs fuck her and now that we're not friends i can stop pretending she was perfect

1. she had such a fucking superiority complex

i swear to god she always thought what she was doing was better or right, for example im really bad at school and she was little miss straight a's, which is fine, until she made it my business too. one time i was talking about struggling in maths and she gave me some advice and i said i did it differently and she said like "well who's in the low maths class?" i never talked to her about academics again. and thats only one example of so many

2. she complained so goddamn much

i swear to god every fucking hour she was venting about something, and it was really uncomfortable ngl bcs i never ever talk about my feelings and i wasnt used to someone being so open, which yeah i know my way isnt healthy either but i swear she had to make everything become about her feelings, like shut your fucking mouth

3. speaking of, she said like that it was weird for her when i talked to her about my dad

like i said i dont talk about my feelings but since she was so open i tried to be more open for her, but i guess i shouldve just kept my mouth shut, bcs i never ever complained abt her venting but when i did it it was too much aparently also i asked her this:

and she never bothered answering. hypocritical if u ask me

4. she reminded me too much of my sister

this isnt a flaw of her own and more of a me problem, but she was too much like my sister and i shouldve identified that as the issue it was earlier on (if ur not familiar with me, me and my sister have a really bad relationship) maybe then i wouldve been able to work through it and it wouldnt have been a problem

5. she was lowkey kinda patronising

she used this fucking voice at me sometimes (usually in autism related issues) and i tried to convince myself it was sweet and comforting but really it felt like she was speaking to a child (i do not fucking like being infantilised.) in fact a lot of the ways she treated me made me feel like a child and it fucking. sucked.

6. everytime i was struggling she would tell me how hard it was for her

I GET IT OH MY GOD SHUT UP. like the first time i didnt mind it, because i knew it was true, but like was it really necessary to say it every. fucking. time? i dont talk about my feelings normally. if she knew i was feeling bad it was only because i was feeling so bad i couldnt hold it together anymore or i was nonverbal. i understand im difficult to deal with like that but telling me how bad it makes you feel just makes me feel more like shit. not everything is about you and your feelings dude

7. she was really gatekeepy over this one youtuber i started watching

ok so theres this youtuber zara beth who one day i discovered on yt and i rlly liked her and so i told my ex bsf and she was like oh yeah i bet u only watched her videos on autism 😒 and she was being like so passive agressive the whole conversation like GIRL, CHILL. even if i did only watch her videos on autism whats wrong with that (and like i didnt even, i watched all of them on 2x speed and binged her entire account)

THE THREE DOTS??? 💀

8. several of the few times i would tell her abt smth that i was upset over she would just straight up change the subject 😭

9. she liked physical contact too much

ik this isnt a red flag really but im not comfortable with so much physical contact so we weren't compatible in this way

10. she liked video calls too much

again, not really a red flag but video calls and just phone calls in general make me so uncomfortable and exhausted and honestly its even kinda overstimulating and she always wanted to call

11. she said she didnt feel like anything was going on in the aftermath of us having had a disagreement, but it built up so much that we havent talked since. so i would say maybe we shouldve talked about it (like i suggested). ('my face was grey but you wouldnt admit that we were sick' vibes)

theres more red flags, but there was also so much good, it wasnt all bad, which makes it hurt more, she truly showed me what it felt like to love and i miss her painfully every day.

#alex says shit #alex loves

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gay-mooshrooms · 6 days

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it is so wild to me that one of my best friends binge watched supernatural in less than two weeks cus they watched half of it on 2x speed

and yet they are far more normal about it than i will ever be and i haven't even gotten 1/3 of the way through it yet

#im over here reading fix it fics for the finale that i haven't even watched yet and crying over destiel and dean and sam #and they somehow never even shed a fucking tear over this show #fucking wild #spn #supernatural

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thegeminisage · 3 months

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dead dad episode anon here (what a name), glad to hear you survived!! I barely did I had no warning and I was just genuinely MAD about how much I cried but not because it was saying anything profound it was just like direct emotional manipulation with no catharsis. if I wanted to cry about a dead parent while watching 90s genre tv I would go re-watch btvs The Body.

hi my answer got long you DONT have to read it but god see i TOTALLY GET THAT! and it's so funny bc my friend and i were actually debating whether the "worst" in your ask meant "lowest quality" or "toughest to get through" and your answer was literally both. i am literally so fucking sorry it happened to you like that and you deserve it the least of anyone bc it is HORRIBLE to have to deal w all of that out of nowhere. but you SAVED MY LIFE! if i had randomly had to deal w that after the day i had tuesday (the day we were supposed to have watched it) i COULD NOT HAVE COPED. like, for example, i actually had to quit the tng episode where geordi's mom dies (7.03 interface) like halfway through because it totally blindsided me and i was just so, so, SO angry at it, i felt like it was stringing me/geordi along for nothing - i googled whether or not they found her alive and when i got a "nope" i too noped. absolutely the fuck not. hard pass.

but then i go back and read the transcript, and like...yes, i still think the episode has too much technobabble, and i personally find tng clunky on all but its very best day, and geordi's "goodbye"/catharsis felt extremely rushed/like an afterthought, but we also have this speech from riker:

and i think if i had met that in a better headspace, having been warned about the episode in advance, i would have received it a LOT better, because it speaks (albeit indirectly) to my own personal shit yk. i actually quit before this speech and then watched the rest of the episode on 2x speed to get it over with, and had to stop and play it normally during this moment. it ruined the effect for me and in my mind this episode is still a dud for me, even though with the passage of time i have come to conclude it is not TOTALLY without merit.

so i do totally get why you don't like the visitor, i absolutely respect your experience w it, AND I OWE YOU HUGE ONEEE, but i do have to humbly disagree about the episode. this is mostly to get my own thots out so absolutely zero offense if you wanna stop reading here lol. but like i think it has a slightly different vibe than the body, which involves like, the sheer shock of it happening out of nowhere, and those first few hours of denial and grief just like. trying to comprehend the nature of death and how someone can just be GONE. i don't even really like btvs (i mostly don't like wh*don, it's complicated) and i think it's high art. like, the pinnacle of tv.

but i think the visitor was saying something different. or actually i think it was saying the same thing the pilot did, in a way. this isn't the first few hours after finding joyce dead in the living room, this is weeks and months and years and DECADES later, and jake Still Exists Here. sisko, quite literally, still exists here, has NO CHOICE but to exist in the moment of the accident forever. (for him, this entire episode lasted like ten minutes at MOST - and shoutout to him for being able to roll with the punches and put jake first anyway through all of that - when he gets back to his own time, it's going to feel like a bad trip or a bad dream.) and because sisko literally can't move on, and is stuck to jake, jake ALSO can't move on.

jake had begun to heal - he had a wife and a career and he was thinking about kids - when he accepted that sisko was gone for good. he healed after his mother's death because he was able to accept her death and because he had the support of people like his father. but once he realized his dad's ghost would be showing up every so often, that there was a possibility he WASN'T gone for good, he threw himself at that problem with everything he had...and lost everything he had. wife, career, hope for his future, all of it. the episode was saying something: that if you don't move on you won't move on. if you can't let go then you can't let go. if you don't heal then you won't heal. jake exists HERE and he is pulling his dad, and his grief, forward into the future with him like a LITERAL ball and fucking chain. i mean, he's got the baseball and photograph ON his writing desk. sisko gets only a few minutes of life at a time, and he uses every second of them to be in the moment with jake and ask about his life and comfort him. jake gets DECADES and he lets them pass him by without so much as "popping his head up," and misses his OWN LIFE, because he is burning his years like pocket money hoping to use them to buy back SISKO'S life.

i do have slightly mixed feelings on the ending - does jake committing suicide to get his father back nail the point home, that it'll kill you if you let it, or does his starting to work on his stories again before he died tell us that he figured out the secret was to live life while you had it, if even for just a few minutes? is "cutting the cord" jake throwing away the last thing he has into the insatiable black hole of his grief, or is it him letting go and/or doing something selfless? maybe both, which is nuanced, but it also muddies the waters/message a little. like, i def can't think of a cleaner solution to set the situation back to status quo - i just wish we'd had time for a slightly cleaner ending, and/or one more scene after the end, where we acknowledge that sisko is now stuck with knowledge of something jake will never have*. bc there IS catharsis when sisko gets back to jake (wish fulfillment? in fiction, unlike reality, you someday get to be done having a dead dad if you do enough aging and grieving and growing) but!! it only lasts for .5 seconds :/

*also, he watched his child die. i can't get into interst*llar too much on here cuz thats bad for me (dead parent people dont watch it Ever) but the bit about "no parent should have to watch their child die" acting as justification for cooper leaving murph AGAIN when the whole film all she asked of him was to STAY was flimsy there, and a miss for me, and definitely lacked catharsis. but this episode is better than interstellar bc even though it's true that no parent should have to watch their child die sisko DID stay and did it anyway even though it was awful to have to do. separated by time and space they DID find each other again...we just didn't to enjoy that reunion, really.

anyway, i do think this was You Exist Here, Dead Parent Version but i do fully completely 110% understand that if this episode had blindsided me i would think it was garbage and would want to kill the people who wrote it with a fucking hammer. so i actually enjoyed this episode because of you, specifically. a perhaps unwilling (at the very least unknowing) gift from you to me. thank you <3

#liz answers asks #anonymous #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb #thanks again for the warning fr...you saved my LIFE!!!#i will probably wind up w a couple of photosets in my queue so def blacklist the ep title if you need to do that <3 #sorry that im out here defending dead dad content. ds9 will ruin me

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fractalabomination · 1 year

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Holy shit, you’ve done 41 heat? I’m still having trouble getting out of the single digits (though granted, with “only” about 100 runs in)

Oh, yes. I've been playing this game ever since two seperate people messaged me about it being in early access... within 30 minutes of Supergiant announcing it. For better or for worse, I've been playing for... nearly five years, at this point. Granted, intermittently over the past 3 or so, but still.

And I'm still finding out new things! Hell, I just witnessed a series of conversations between Skelly and Zagreus for the first time because I just never happened to trigger it before. (Talking to hermes while skelly's tooth is equipped)

...also broke a few personal records tonight. managed to get faster times tonight than anywhen else.

...anyways.

41 heat was terrifying. I'm sure I could recreate it given time but it was a huge thing for me when I did it! My personal fighting style tends toward Zeus's Aegis, mixed with Athena, and just... not getting hit. So the heat modifiers that increase enemy speed, and the ones that give you a time limit, are ones that I avoid when playing on high heat - I can take most of anything else, but definitely not those two. Extreme Measures 3/4 that modify Theseus's and Hades's fights as well, because the fights get a lot harder to defend against.

I've done lots of stupid shit in Hades - in early access they initially had the fights so that boss hp could go under the threshold that triggers a phase if it was one big hit. Then they introduced Aphrodite's Wrath, and then it was Immediately Rectified when they discovered that the hydra could be killed instantly from above 50% health XD

(Early access had a lot of fun gems. You used to be able to turn up the damage to 15x the normal amount if you wanted, rather than the 2x that it is maxed at now, and let me tell you, doing that really incentivises one to not get hit!)

There've been runs that are attack/special/cast/dash only, I've done runs where only nonupgraded actions are allowed, so if say your special has a boon, you can't use it at all (even before pools of purging nor rerolling nor Sisyphus's current keepsake existed, so you were Stuck With It). Did a dashless run just to see if I could (it's possible with achilles's varatha, and I will say that varatha is my least used/proficient weapon) and when that apparently didn't sate my apparent masochism, a run where all the movement keys were disabled (that... that one was a pain). Attempted to escape on the very first run of a save, which I failed, but at least I got to see Theseus and Asterius! (Did manage it on run 3, to my and everyone else's surprise).

(The phrase 'oh god what have you done now' is a common one in reference to these shenanigans)

So, yeah! 41 heat was, an achievement! I'm kinda surprised that - save for one which mentioned 16 - none of the tags on that post went above 7 heat - how else are you gonna unlock the objectively best thing in this game? To put it in the words of one of my best friends:

#hades #supergiant games #yeah I'd say I enjoy supergiant's games a normal amount #i met someone in real life who'd actually played transistor though!! that was exciting - that never happens!#fawful #iompaeoe

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hardtchill · 8 months

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For me it’s very similar to the other anon. I’m turning 25 this year and I’ve still not got my bachelors degree because I had to quit my first go around at uni since i physically couldn’t learn for my exams. Granted it was compounded by other issues such as depression and anxiety but i genuinely believe that a not insignificant part of those issues come from the fact that adhd makes it near impossible to organise myself (unmedicated btw).

Seeing this on my feed rn is kind of ironic since even though im in my third year of a degree that I actually enjoy now, I literally dropped out of an exam that I was supposed to write today cuz I couldn’t revise. It’s not like I didn’t have the time and I’ve known for weeks about the deadline, but with every assignment or exam I push my own boundaries further and further back until I can’t do it anymore. Last semester I crammed 84 pages worth of notes in under 48h, an exam mind you that I’d pushed back over a year and was literally my last shot or I’d not be allowed to continue with my studies. I barely slept, I was throwing up, but I somehow passed, and with a good grade at that. Since then my brain is like, well you managed to do that that one time so you can totally afford to wait until the DAY before an exam to finish it. Or write a 15 page paper in a day.

And you know what, maybe I can. But the problem is the cost. It’s killing me. I find that it’s also very isolating cuz generally people don’t have a lot of empathy for this? So I end up pulling back from everyone including my best friends until I’m at a point again where I can be around people without letting on how incredibly bad I’m doing. Or I just straight up lie so they don’t know that I’ve not done the things i said I would do.

And all this is not just within the framework of academia. It’s also impacted my wellbeing in a more general sense - cooking for myself is hard because I tend to not listen to my body’s cues until I’m on the verge of passing out cuz i forgot to eat or drink, or by the time I’m hungry I still have to make a meal so I end up ordering something cuz it’s faster. Same with showering daily or brushing your teeth. Getting any routine started in general and sticking with it. I’ve been meaning to start exercising again but I keep delaying it for no reason. I’ve worked out regularly in the past so I know it’s something that I enjoy and that makes me feel good but despite that I’m still stuck in this place of inertia? It’s awful.

I’ve talked to some friends who also have adhd about it and the inability to start something cuz it isn’t instantly gratifying or that doesn’t align with an interest but is an obligation is quite common. Can I binge 7 seasons of a reality show in a week if it really interests me? Hell yeah! (I do watch everything at 2x speed cuz everyone talks too slow lmao but still). Will i fly through a massive book and literally forego sleeping if it means getting through more of it if im really invested? Absolutely. 1500 puzzle? Massive Lego set? Yep! Taking notes from a textbook for an assignment? Literally kill me right now.

I’m sorry for this long ass message and idek if you’re gonna read all of this but yeah just wanted to share my experience. Adhd is absolutely not quirky or a superpower and I wish there was a better understanding of it out there because it makes me my own worst enemy every day.

Ugh anon i feel you so much. I have skipped on many an exam during my bachelors because i just couldn't concentrate, focus or start revision. It's completely miserable to literally see the time go by where you feel the stress but you just cannot get your brain to start on what you need to do.

Any time i told teachers and now colleagues that i work well with deadlines i get told i'm not motivated enough because if i was i wouldn't need deadlines. That's just so unfair! My brain is graving dopamine, it's not laziness that my brain does this, it's literally just ADHD.

This is the same reason why your brain (usually) jumps into action when that crippling anxiety hits, because you're so close to a deadline that your brain can smell the dopamine.

The only reason that i finished my 6 month thesis is because i had many mini deadlines during those 6 months. I felt the anxiety to finish a part of it every month and i had a teacher who was very nice and gave you compliments when you did (DOPAMINE). If i didn't have that i would still be writing my thesis now.

ADHD is so misunderstood by so many people. It affects every part of your life and the negative consequences are so much bigger and impactful than the potential positive outcomes. I mean yeah i'm creative and can think fast, awesome but that doesn't make up for the anxiety, stress and grief you go through anytime your brain just doesn't want to start something.

#ask #adhd

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milfchellepfeiffer · 1 year

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HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO MY WIFEEEE!!!!!

Fuck time zones time zones are our biggest enemy 😔 but I’m still in good time hehe so I hope you’re having the best of days with lots of fun cake and love all around!!!!!!! I send you my best wishes for today and always and forever 💘 idc if every year I say it but I LOVE YOUUUUUU🫵🏻🫵🏻 and being your silly little friend and watching our silly little movies in 2x speed or Shrek in French and all of our dog pics are genuinely things that I treasure and thank you for sharing them with me!!!!! 🥹🥹🩷🩷🩷🩷 you have such a beautiful spirit and make me laugh like crazy (proof in the discord pins☝🏻) like I always say we were burdened with being the funniest mfs on the planet 🤧 HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND LIFE MY MOST BELOVED 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 (hope u like the Nooky meme)

My honest reaction

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA 😭💞💞💞 YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST I'M ONLY TRYING TO GET ON YOUR LEVEL 💓 i will cherish our movie nights till the day i die they're making me so happy <3 every time we talk is the best part of my day ILYYYYYYYYYY

Loooooooooove this meme 🥰 but why did you have to choose one where he looks so silly 😭

#angela #asks

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queerauntie · 2 years

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An Alice Oseman Celebration

They're iconic, they're exponentially blowing up, and they have an adorable tv show based on their comic book series, people of tumblr we gotta talk about Alice Oseman!

Alice Oseman is an impeccable writer and a beautiful artist. I have followed Alice as an author for some years now, my best friend had me read Radio Silence years ago, maybe 2016, so I have always known about Oseman's works and supported them from a distance. Now that books are calling my name, it only felt right to finally read their collection!

A major reason why I got through so many books in October was that I had accepted a full-time job with a huge commute. So at 2x speed. I was getting through hours of stories a day. Another reason why I read so much was because of the level of stress this job provided, my brain was desperate for distraction and to focus on anything other than what I was facing. Oseman was truly a safe space to get away from all of those stressors and root for these adorable protagonists.

So as I mentioned, I had read Radio Silence years ago, but because of ADHD memory, I couldn't remember any of it. So jumping in was like deja vu but without any of the spoilers, it was awesome! I fell in love with Frances all over again, the friendship between her and Aled was so magical. Finding your bestie just when you need them is such a gift. We don't see enough romances like this, falling in love with your bestie and being able to experience that intimacy free of judgment and cishet norms. Radio Silence really was that book. I love my nerd babies!!

This Winter was so precious, Nick and Charlie are angels and I knew them well at this point. I haven't included Heartstopper on my books read mostly because I can't remember when I read it, but also because I did see the show before I read the comic. But when I saw this in Libby and available now instead of a huge hold, I was so excited for a whole novel on Nick and Charlie! Well, that's what I get for not checking the length because I was not prepared for a short story. I started it on the way home and the timing couldn't have been funnier, the audible credits started going as soon as I pulled into the driveway. I thought surely it was an error that skipped forward but nope, it was a teasing little taste and that is all. It was very adorable though, and I love how Nick and Charlie get to be spread out throughout Oseman's works.

Loveless!!! I don't know how one picks a favorite Oseman book, but Loveless might win for mine. It's a beautiful story of a young woman off at university, who begins to struggle with the idea of relationships and the definition of "Love". Like many people who've attended college or uni, her story is one we can all relate to. Being in a new environment where even the familiar feel strange, and being forced to navigate a million new variables all at once. It's a scary time and Alice Oseman does a great job sharing those emotions through their characters and their respective journeys. This book helped me figure out some things about myself even, looking back on it now. Anyone looking to feel a little less lost in the chaos of the world, I recommend this book!

Solitaire! Oh, how it gave me muscle aches in my eyebrows from all my concern for Tori. It was kind of perfect, reading this book as a late twenty-something, a decade away from my teenage experience. I was able to read the story from a true third party and not feel caught up in Tori's spirals, but have empathy and hold space for that part of me that felt just as helpless, just as unlovable, just as stupid. The story is really fun, there's a big mystery and a really kind boy who simply won't let her push him away. Persistent love is exactly what Tori needs in her life, and this story is her journey to figuring out that she deserves it. I really enjoyed this book, but mostly, I just really really love Tori Spring.

The timing of when I read these books in October could not have been better because "I Was Born For This" came out in the US right at the end of October! This was not a book I could wait for through the library either, so luckily I still had credits from an earlier audible subscription I forgot to cancel! The day it came out was the day I started it and it only took a couple days to finish, it was amazing. At it's core, it's a perfect Oseman book. The characters are beautifully thought out, the conflict is masterfully constructed, and the stakes are just perfectly measured. I absolutely loved this story and I can't imagine a more relevant story for the times. With parasocial relationships on the rise, a story like this is really important for young people and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it becomes a taught text someday. I would certainly recommend it to any young person I know!

That wraps up my Alice Oseman appreciation post! I know I didn't mention a couple books, but that's because I haven't read them yet! So if you're a fan of "Heartstoppers" or "Nick and Charlie" keep an eye out because I'll definitely be getting back around to them this year!

#alice oseman #osemanverse #radio silence #this winter #loveless #solitaire #i was born for this #iwbft #heartstopper #nick and charlie #what im reading

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