#2808

[thewertsearch]

AA: what d0 y0u think y0ure d0ing! AA: just st0p AA: st0p st0p st0p st0p st0p st0p AA: maybe if i say st0p en0ugh s0mething else will happen instead 0f the thing that d0es

Aradia has had enough of the Alpha Tmeline.

No matter how stoic she may appear, there's a part of her that can't stand to see her friends suffer - and that part of her is finally gaining ground against the mental conditioning of the Voices.

She doesn't want this, and all her posturing about how it's pointless to fight the inevitable tide of fate is revealed as the coping mechanism it always was. This is wrong, she knows it's wrong, and even if it's pointless, she has to at least try to help.

AA: i kn0w its exciting AA: breaking stuff AA: and n0t w0rrying ab0ut it

You know, I'm starting to understand why this fatalism was so intoxicating to Aradia. The Alpha offers her freedom from consequences, allowing her to act on her impulses without worrying about the fallout.

After all, if something is supposed to break, then it's pretty much already broken.

And who can blame you for breaking something that's already broken?

They'd probably break it too, given half a chance.

TT: You sound frustrated. TT: Like you know you can't change my mind. TT: I presume your future footage of me has already verified this? AA: i d0nt even need t0 watch y0ur future acti0ns t0 kn0w this AA: the kn0wing is the same as this elusive feeling 0f sickness thats been with me f0r years AA: pr0bably since bef0re i died c0me t0 think 0f it AA: it was always a big setup

She's really woken up, hasn't she? Most of the damage is already done, but it's just so gratifying to hear Aradia finally catching on, in real time.

Especially since the first thing she's choosing to do, after climbing out of the hole she's in, is extend a hand down to Rose.

AA: i just wish AA: back when i was behaving recklessly AA: i had s0me0ne t0 tell me t0 st0p listening

Damn it, this is so frustrating.

Rose doesn't understand what it means that Aradia is saying these things. This girl is fighting back literal years of depression, apathy and mental conditioning to try and help Rose see another way, but she's getting treated like just another run-of-the-mill troll. Listen, Rose!

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: September 19, 1989

Lyrics:

Our friends think we're opposites

Falling in and out of love

They've all said we'd never last

Still, we manage to stay together

There's no easy explanation for it

But whenever there's a problem

We always work it out somehow

Work it out somehow

They said it wouldn't last

We had to prove them wrong

'Cause I've learned in the past

That love would never do without you

Other guys have tried before

To replace you as my lover

Never did I have a doubt

Boy, it's you I can't do without

I feel better when I have you near me

'Cause no other love around

Has quite the same, ooh, ooh

Like you do, do, do, do babe

They said it wouldn't last

We had to prove them wrong

'Cause I've learned in the past

That love would never do without you

Do without you

Love would never do without you, whoo

Do without you

Ooh

Ooh!

Go on

fine

(Never do without you) oh yeah

(Love would never do) fine

(Never do without you) not for me

(Love would never do) fine

(Never do without you) oh yeah

(Love would never do) fine

(Never do without you) baby

fine

(Never do without you) oh yeah

(Love would never do) fine

(Never do without you) baby

(Love would never do) fine

(Never do without you) oh, oh

(Love would never do) whoo

(Never do without you) say it

never do

(Love will never do without you) ooh, ooh

(Love will never do) never

(Love will never do without you) ooh, ooh

(Love will never do)

(Love will never do without you) baby, yeah

What?

(They said it)

(They said it wouldn't last)

(They said it)

(They said it wouldn't last) woo

(They said) hey

(They said it wouldn't) what do you want?

(They said it wouldn't last)

Songwriter:

If you believe in love, sing

(Love will never do)

(Love will never do without you)

(Love will never do)

(Love will never do without you)

Terry Lewis / James Samuel Iii Harris / Florian Paetzold / Lavon Toorn Van Der

SongFacts:

👉📖

Homepage:

Janet Jackson

[albertxylin]

Clinical Constellations

On the way home it rains hard for a moment, Enough to frost the glass and blur the world. The streetlights turn into passing comets, And it all softens into tender halos forming a galaxy. It is gentle in all the ways a hospital tries to be But isn't. Sterile well-lit hallways and clear spaces are not a lullaby, No matter how many smiles and multicoloured curtains and complimentary cups of coffee inhabit it.

It will have to do for now. You will have to find a way to rest So that you will have the strength to recover, So that we can see falling stars trapped in a raindrop And sing a lullaby together.

[tmt-sketch-a-day]

Sketch a Day 2808- A Memory- 10/21/23

[harveyphotography]

Assisi è pensiero e natura, è sogno e arte, religione e poesia.

[mostbelovedaewwrestlertournament]

Most Beloved AEW Wrestler Tournament 2

[quiltofstars]

NGC 2808 // Roger Bertuli

[lostdrarryfics]

read this fic ages ago and have been looking for it for a while now. eigth year fic post war im pretty sure. enemies to friends to lovers. i dont remember much, but the crux of the story is that draco is under a spell or potion or something that makes him unable to speak the truth or only able to speak lies or something like that. harry eventually figures out that draco is cursed or whatever by asking him like "what colour are my eyes" and draco says blue or brown or something clearly wrong

We believe you are looking for Lie to Me by XxTheDarkLordxX (5k, T)

Don’t forget to bookmark, leave kudos and comments!

[todays-xkcd]

Mr. Jones, watch out for Ms. Lenhart! She's from genus Photuris!

Daytime Firefly [Explained]

[thewertsearch]

AA: y0u really d0nt understand anything yet d0 y0u AA: and yet y0u bug and fuss and meddle AA: with things m0re danger0us than y0u can imagine

An accurate assessment. Rose is acting on information from the Gods, and it's glaringly obvious that she hasn't been given the full picture. As a result, her plans are flawed and dangerous.

Now, if Aradia would enlighten us as to why Rose's plans are so dangerous, we might actually get somewhere. She seems uncharacteristically chatty at the moment, so my hopes are high.

AA: what d0 y0u want with the s0urce 0f the first guardians AA: what g00d d0 y0u really think c0uld c0me 0f it TT: Do you know about it? TT: The sun?

So First Guardians are created by the Green Sun.

Wait - actually, I think they're created from the Green Sun.

While Bec was being cloned, the screen which originally displayed Nanna and Grandpa changed to a field of flickering green lightning.

It almost looks like the appearifier was pointed inside the Sun itself, which leads me to wonder what would happen if you tried to summon the thing. Maybe some of the Sun's material was teleported into Bec's body, to serve as the fuel for his abilities.

That would certainly explain his astronomical internal temperature - but Bec is basically a god, so he could also just be doing this with his powers.

AA: y0u cant p0ssibly wield its energy 0r put it t0 c0nstructive use

I'm sure it could defeat Jack - although the word 'defeat' falls a bit flat when you're reducing someone to elementary particles.

Using the Sun against him feels like bringing a nuke to a knife fight - it's ridiculous overkill, and will get literally everyone killed.

TT: That isn't exactly my plan.

Well, now I'm stumped. All my theories about how Rose would use the Sun were predicated on the assumption that she wanted to access the First Guardians' powers - or, at least, the enormous energy they wield.

But it doesn't sound like she's trying to empower herself, or convert the Sun into a weapon. What can you do with the Sun that doesn't qualify as 'constructive use', but does contribute to killing Jack?

Well, I suppose she could corrupt it. Maybe the gods want her to transmute it into the Black Sun, and create some eldritch First Guardians to fight Noir.

That said, they'd be hard-pressed to create a Guardian who's more corrupt than Doc Scratch.

AA: y0u w0nt find it either AA: its imp0ssible

The Sun is implicitly connected to every First Guardian, so it's unlikely to be in any specific session. I don't think there are multiple instances of it, like Skaia, because it's not supposed to be an official part of a session in the first place; Rose had to essentially datamine Sburb to learn about it.

I assume, then, that the Sun is somewhere more fundamental than any specific Medium instance. It's probably in intersession space - perhaps even beyond the Furthest Ring.

AA: im thr0ugh with c0nsci0usly c0ntributing t0 inevitable 0utc0mes TT: Well, TT: Aren't you doing that regardless? Right now? AA: 0bvi0usly AA: but im just talking [...] AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it! AA: blah BL00P blee BLUH!@#$%^&()_+ AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace??? + ?rand(413^612)

Well, I don't think you can break predestination with a run-of-the-mill pseudorandom number generator - but I do like where your head's at. Probability might just be the key to fighting fate.

I mean, Vriska is apparently able to alter probability - despite the fact that all Alpha Timeline outcomes should be set in stone.

What's up with that?

[pesterloglog]

Aradia Megido, Rose Lalonde

Act 5, page 2808

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

AA: what d0 y0u think y0ure d0ing!

AA: just st0p

AA: st0p st0p st0p st0p st0p st0p

AA: maybe if i say st0p en0ugh s0mething else will happen instead 0f the thing that d0es

TT: Hi.

AA: y0u arent g0ing t0 st0p are y0u

TT: Do you want me to stop using magic too?

AA: n0 i d0nt care ab0ut that

AA: its y0ur quest t0 tear y0ur sessi0n apart

AA: i kn0w its exciting

AA: breaking stuff

AA: and n0t w0rrying ab0ut it

AA: but there are c0nsequences t0 hum0ring y0ur destructive impulses

AA: and c0nsequences t0 f0ll0wing

TT: ?

AA: what they say

TT: Who?

AA: y0u kn0w wh0

TT: You sound frustrated.

TT: Like you know you can't change my mind.

TT: I presume your future footage of me has already verified this?

AA: i d0nt even need t0 watch y0ur future acti0ns t0 kn0w this

AA: the kn0wing is the same as this elusive feeling 0f sickness thats been with me f0r years

a: pr0bably since bef0re i died c0me t0 think 0f it

AA: it was always a big setup

TT: You died?

TT: Revived via dream self, I take it?

AA: n0

AA: i never had 0ne

AA: s0rt 0f a special case here

TT: Hmm.

AA: i just wish

AA: back when i was behaving recklessly

AA: i had s0me0ne t0 tell me t0 st0p listening

AA: even if i ended up ign0ring their advice

AA: it w0uld have been nice

TT: What did they tell you?

AA: i was assured i w0uld be saving my race

AA: which is maybe still true i d0nt kn0w

AA: but if it is then it will be the punchline t0 the vast j0ke

TT: Is that anything like the ultimate riddle?

AA: y0u really d0nt understand anything yet d0 y0u

AA: and yet y0u bug and fuss and meddle

AA: with things m0re danger0us than y0u can imagine

AA: what d0 y0u want with the s0urce 0f the first guardians

AA: what g00d d0 y0u really think c0uld c0me 0f it

TT: Do you know about it?

TT: The sun?

AA: y0u cant p0ssibly wield its energy 0r put it t0 c0nstructive use

TT: That isn't exactly my plan.

AA: y0u w0nt find it either

AA: its imp0ssible

TT: How do you know that?

TT: Could you please share your information with me?

AA: n0!

AA: y0u still havent gathered that y0ure the pr0blem

AA: im thr0ugh with c0nsci0usly c0ntributing t0 inevitable 0utc0mes

TT: Well,

TT: Aren't you doing that regardless? Right now?

AA: 0bvi0usly

AA: but im just talking

AA: maybe the things i say will indirectly trigger y0ur critical acti0ns

AA: maybe n0t wh0 kn0ws

AA: maybe!!!

AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m

AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it!

AA: blah BL00P blee BLUH!@#$%^&*()_+

AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace??? + ?*rand(413^612)

AA: oh look and now i suddenly refuse to type zeroes in my sentences

AA: isnt that crazy! who thought that was even a possibility

AA: bslick never would have imagined THAT little vestibule of probability was tucked somewhere in his huge glistening blow sack

AA: ribbit ribbit ribbit

AA: WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT

AA: I JUST CONTROLLED THE RIBBITS AND I DID IT DELIBERATELY

TT: O_O

AA: hahaha!

AA: 0h w0w im sure y0u were just being faceti0us with that but y0u have n0 idea h0w funny that is right n0w

AA: y0u had n0 way 0f kn0wing thats a thing i d0 all the time but with zer0es

AA: this is great

AA: i think im 0n t0 s0mething here

AA: maybe if i dig deep en0ugh int0 my circuitry and rer0ute all 0f my reserve p0wer thr0ugh my quantum based rand0m number generat0r i can pr0duce behavi0r s0 c0mpletely 0ff the wall that parad0x space will have n0 ch0ice but t0 change everything!

TT: You have circuitry?

AA: maybe i will also rig my p0wer s0urce t0 the 0utc0me 0f the functi0n and rand0mly bl0w myself up!

AA: that w0uld be just

AA: really

AA: really

AA: really*rand(rand(rand(rand(rand(0M)*0M)*0M)*0M)*0M) where 0M = s0me number drawn quite at rand0m fr0m 0ne 0f y0ur absurd human hats

AA: !~M~0~D~N~A~R

AA: g00dbye r0se

AA: enj0y y0ur rampant indiscreti0ns

AA: talk t0 y0u later assuming i havent rand0mly bl0wn myself up!

TT: Wait, don't go!

TT: You were actually interesting.

--- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

[canadianno]

In the meantime while your reeling with the mcdongle, I'm happy to report that your lamb was almost done but then I went started rendering the everliving crap out of it so...

Sock you are KILLING me

[la-era-atomica]

The person who did request 2808 also added the caveat that it is specifically December the 1st as if there's other songs about the year 2808.

[starmocha]

but grandma i love him! (and him and him and him and him) [Sylus/Reader, Xavier/Reader, Rafayel/Reader, Caleb/Reader, Zayne/Reader ★ 2808 words ★ Masterlist ★ Series Index ★ AO3] 5 times Grandma Josephine meets your boyfriend + 1 time she meets your boyfriends. Or: AU where everything is the exact same, but Grandma Josephine lives, but wishes she didn’t so she doesn’t have to know how much of a hoe her granddaughter is. A/N: I wrote most of this, days before Sylus’ myth dropped as a way to cope with the impending and inevitable pain (and oh, was there so much pain with his myth…). I suddenly remembered this a month later, so I rushed to finish it before Caleb comes home again. This is very, very silly and full-on crackhead energy :’) Tag list: @miudle @alfredosaws @nezukoo-channn @voidsylus @rose-tinted-kalopsia @valkyyriia @lavlynyan 【 request to be added 】

Josephine had lived a long life, far longer than she would have anticipated for herself. When one lived as long as she had, mistakes were made and regrets inevitable. That was just life.

She knew that, of course, having pocketed many pearls of wisdom as she had navigated this long road, but that still did not make her feel any less foolish for her recent mistake.

It had seemed so innocent. So pedestrian, really.

How could she have realized that asking to meet her granddaughter’s boyfriend would be one of her greatest mistakes and biggest regret of her life?

one.

“Grandma, this is…Skye,” you said with a forced smile as you gestured to your partner.

‘Skye’ stifled his chuckle and extended a hand to the elderly woman. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Josephine,” he said politely with a charming smile, “Your granddaughter talks fondly about you.”

Josephine smiled in delight, never imagining her granddaughter would bring home a very attractive man. It was like she was looking at a work of art created by God Himself. She shook the young man’s hand happily. “Come in, come in, dinner is ready. We can chat as we eat.”

As dinner progressed, the conversation remained lively. This Skye certainly had a way with his words, his charisma was so radiantly brilliant. Josephine had also never seen her granddaughter as happy as she looked now, noticing how the two would often share sweet whispered secrets when they both thought the old woman wasn’t watching.

Oh, youth, Josephine observed with wistful envy.

After dinner, Josephine left her granddaughter alone in the kitchen to do the dishes as she went to her bedroom to retrieve a family photo album to reminisce over. Along the way, she unwittingly walked in on Skye having a private conversation on the phone in the hallway. She was about to turn away before he noticed when she paused, hearing a peculiar comment from Skye:

“Hm, so they had thought I would be there to be ambushed, did they?”

Ambushed? Josephine furrowed her brows in concern.

“Never mind, I trust you and Luke had taken care of things, correct?”

Taken care? Josephine went pale.

“Hm, they should know that Onychinus does not take betrayal so kindly.”

Motherfucking Onychinus?!

Josephine immediately raced back to the kitchen, not noticing ‘Skye’s’ amused smirk.

You were just finishing the last of the dishes when Josephine grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you immediately and making you nearly dropped the plate you were holding.

“Dear, you have to break up with that man!”

You stared wide-eyed, feeling completely blindsided. “B-but why? I thought you liked Skye, Grandma!”

Josephine looked at you nervously, swallowing slowly before she spoke in a hushed tone, “Dear, I…I just heard him having a conversation…I…I think he’s part of…that notorious group…Onychinus.”

“Oh,” you said flatly.

Josephine stared, confused. “‘Oh’?” she echoed back, flabbergasted. “Dear, I don’t think you understand. Onychinus is a very dangerous group.”

“Uh, yeah, dangerous,” you agreed, tone flat. “Super dangerous…”

Josephine started to get annoyed, not understanding why you were behaving so flippantly about this bombshell news she had just dropped. “Dear, Onychinus is wanted for many crimes. Its leader—”

“Sylus,” you said.

“Right—wait, you know his name?”

“She should.” Josephine heard ‘Skye’s’ deep, smooth voice as he stepped back into the kitchen. “She is dating him.”

Josephine felt like her brain had just short-circuited as she watched this man walked over and leaned down to kiss her granddaughter on the lips.

“Did you even try to be discreet?” You scolded Sylus with a frown after he pulled away.

He chuckled and shook his head. “I saw her from the side,” he admitted, adding, “And I don’t like being kept a secret so…”

“You—mmph!” Sylus immediately kissed you again before you could scold him.

Josephine watched this exchange uncomfortably, feeling like she was having an out-of-body experience as her brain tried to comprehend that her sweet granddaughter, one of the top hunters in Linkon City, was in a relationship with a notorious wanted crime boss.

“I…I need some tea…” she managed after a pause.

“Oh, I’ll make some for you, Grandma!” You pulled away from Sylus immediately, rushing to the cabinet.

At that moment, Sylus’ phone rang. He took a glance at the screen and apologized. “Sorry, I have to take this call.”

Once he was out of the room, Josephine immediately rushed over to you, pulling you to the side. “Dear, do you realize what you are doing?”

“…making tea?”

“Don’t get wise with me, young lady,” she chided you instantly with a strong glare, “You know what I am talking about.”

“…Sylus?”

“Haven’t you thought about how problematic this relationship could be?”

“He does have a strange obsession with crows…”

Josephine looked bewildered. “What does that mean—never mind, I meant that he’s a felon!”

“A little bit, yeah…”

“Dear, is dating a criminal your way of getting back at me for not getting you that pony when you were eight?”

“N-no! Of course not!” You protested. “Besides, Sylus also has this amazing horse, although if I have to be honest, I prefer riding Sylus—”

Josephine had decided that was the perfect moment to black out.

“…motorcycle?! Grandma?!”

two.

Grandma, I have someone I would like you to meet! :)

Josephine felt relief when she had seen that text message her granddaughter had sent. It seemed Sylus was no longer in the picture, she thought, a little worried about any repercussion that could come from splitting with a dangerous crime boss.

As she glanced at the message again, the little smiley face at the end of the sentence calmed the old woman instantly. There was probably nothing to worry about. You seemed pleasant. Cheerful, even.

This was a good sign.

The following Saturday afternoon, Josephine was positively thrilled to meet her granddaughter’s new boyfriend, Xavier. She was immediately charmed by his princely appearance and soft-spoken and polite way of speaking. He truly looked like he had stepped out of a fairy tale.

After introductions were made, you had excused yourself from the group after receiving an urgent phone call from Tara. The other woman was in such an overly anxious state, ranting something about her cat? It took you nearly ten minutes to finally calm your friend before you were able to hang up and return to the group.

Stepping into the living room, you were surprised to see only your grandmother sitting in her chair. You furrowed your brows, feeling a strange knot forming in your stomach. Nervously, you stepped over to your grandmother.

“Wait, where’s Xavier?”

Josephine smiled. “In the kitchen,” she answered, not noticing your face was paling. “He mentioned he wanted to heat up the dish you both brought over in the oven—”

“In the oven?!”

“Yes, the oven—”

The fire alarm blared as dark thick smokes billowed from the kitchen, but thanks to the bravery and promptness of the men and women of Linkon FD, the fire was put out in less than fifteen minutes.

Josephine remained in her chair, face covered in soot, her voice peculiarly neutral. “Dear…”

“Insurance will cover this, don’t worry, and if not, I will buy you a new—”

“I don’t even like tuna casserole.”

“I told you we should have made chicken potpie.”

“Xavier—that’s…that’s not the issue…”

three.

When her granddaughter mentioned bringing an artist over, Josephine had some doubts. She worried about her granddaughter having to support a struggling artist until he could make a name for himself, but even if she did voice her concern, it would most likely have the opposite effect and just make that man seem even more desirable in her granddaughter’s eyes.

It wouldn’t do. She didn’t want to meddle, but she hoped things would just naturally end on its own terms.

Her worries instantly disappeared when her granddaughter sent her a photo of the young couple at an art exhibition. Josephine’s eyes caught the name of the artist as well as the face of the young man with his arm around her granddaughter’s waist in the photo.

Wait.

Rafayel.

This was The Rafayel.

As old as she was, Josephine kept up with the news. She recognized both the name and the face of the artist. She laughed heartily to herself, tickled that her pretty granddaughter managed to catch the eyes of a well-known artist such as Rafayel.

Her worries eased, knowing her granddaughter had just secured her future being entwined with someone as successful as Rafayel. She immediately started planning a wedding. Maybe even a guest nursery in her home for when the happy couple would visit with hopefully numerous great-grandchildren.

From this moment all the way to the next Sunday for brunch, the old woman had an extra pep in her steps. As she exited a taxi, Josephine found herself at a well-known restaurant, popular with brunch for the younger crowd. It was typically packed and hard to get in, but Josephine supposed someone as influential as Rafayel would have no problem securing a table.

“Grandma, over here!” you rushed over to hug your grandmother. After kissing her cheek, you sighed playfully, “You know Rafayel and I offered to pick you up. You didn’t have to take a taxi.”

“Nonsense, an old woman like me is perfectly capable of getting around by herself,” she chided you gently. She patted your hand reassuringly as you both walked arm linked into the restaurant. “This is so exciting, darling. I have been looking forward to meeting Rafayel all week long.”

“Wonderful!” you exclaimed, beaming, “He is really the sweetest, Grandma. You will love him. He gotten us a table outside. It really is beautiful out there.”

Well, Josephine can check off meeting a famous artist on her bucket list.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Josephine,” Rafayel greeted the older woman with a charming smile. “I have heard so much about you from this cutie over here.”

“Ra-Rafayel,” you protested with a blush and then whispered harshly under your breath to him, “N-not in front of Grandma…”

He smiled, shrugging. “Sorry, cutie, force of habit.”

“You did it again…”

Josephine laughed and reassured her blushing granddaughter. “You two really are the cutest thing ever,” she said, smiling in gratitude as Rafayel helped seat the older woman.

The time passed with a lot of pleasantries and sharing stories over a delicious array of food. Smoked salmon, quiche, waffles, fruit salad, and bellinis filled three happy bellies. Just as Josephine was already planning on speed-dialing a wedding planner, she noticed Rafayel’s face did a complete 180.

“Rafayel? Are you alright, dear—”

“M-m-m-monster!”

“Excuse me?” Josephine glared when Rafayel pointed at her.

“N-no, Grandma, it’s not you,” you quickly protested, standing up and rushing to Rafayel when he stumbled out of his seat shaking in fear. “Rafayel, calm down! It’s just a—”

“Meow.”

“Oh!” Josephine laughed when an orange cat leapt onto the table, purring happily at the plate with some leftover smoked salmon. She laughed and started petting its head as the cat greedily licked the plate and ate the remaining morsels. “Where did you come from, little one?”

The cat purred happily amid Rafayel’s screams.

“Rafayel, ca-calm down!” You trailed after Rafayel as he backed away.

“Get that monster away from me!”

“Rafayel! Come back!”

Josephine sighed.

After filling its belly with some delicious salmon, the cat napped in the old woman’s lap, purring contently as its ear was scratched. At that moment, the waiter walked over and placed the bill in front of Josephine to her surprise.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she griped once she realized her granddaughter and Rafayel were both gone.

four.

“Oh, dear, I am so excited to meet this one,” Josephine said, meaning every single word, “The way you described him makes him sound like quite a catch.”

Tall, handsome, intelligent, and with the added bonus of being good in the kitchen! There was no way this one wouldn’t be a perfect match for her sweet, darling granddaughter, who, after all, deserved only the best in life.

You laughed. “Grandma, what are you talking about? You know him.”

Josephine blinked, confused. “…I do?”

“Yeah, it’s—”

“Where’s my favorite pipsqueak?”

You gasped as you felt an arm wrapped around your waist, easily lifting you up. You blushed. “Caleb!”

Josephine laughed. “Caleb, you didn’t tell me you were coming home to visit.”

Caleb looked confused as he settled you back down to the floor, but his arm remained wrapped around your waist. “I thought Pipsqueak mentioned it to you already?”

Josephine frowned. “I don’t believe so,” she said, adding, “But what bad timing, we’re having a guest tonight and—”

She paused, suddenly noticing how Caleb’s arm still remained wrapped around your waist and the way you leaned in close against him. You were all giggly and blushing like a schoolgirl.

“…and…”

“Um, Grandma,” You started feebly, “Caleb is my boyfriend.”

“No, he’s not.”

“Uh, yes, he is.”

“No, he’s not.”

“Grandma—”

“No, he’s not.”

“Caleb!”

“Gran, I—”

“I am taking a nap!” Josephine declared, determined to wake up from this surreal dream she was having.

“Caleb—”

“Shh,” he quietly shushed you. “Gran is taking a nap…”

You glared at him, sighing in defeat as Josephine sat in her chair, blanket over her lap, and she closed her eyes, cursing whatever deity who had decided she needed to deal with this weird-ass situation at her age.

five.

Josephine smiled serenely as she watched you and Zayne make dinner together in your kitchen.

Finally, a good man.

Zayne was always the sweetest little boy, and it pleased Josephine to see he had grown into a kind and caring man with a successful career and highly-respected reputation among his peers. Zayne had effortlessly ticked off every single box in Josephine’s list of criteria for a grandson-in-law: intelligent, kind, patient, respectful, charming, handsome, successful, loving. There was not a single flaw in this young man.

“My love, come taste this,” Zayne called out as he held up a wooden spoon.

Oh, my. Even Josephine couldn’t help but blushed and felt her heart fluttering at witnessing how sweetly affectionate Zayne was with you.

“What do you think?” he asked.

You pondered, licking your lips lightly. You smiled. “Maybe just a little more soy sauce?”

Zayne nodded. “Okay,” he said, “Could you grab the bottle for me then?”

“Of course, Zaddy—”

You froze.

Zayne froze.

Josephine stared.

“Za…Zaddy?” Josephine questioned from across the kitchen island.

“It’s…nothing,” Zayne said, his ears turning red, “Just a silly nickname.”

Josephine nodded, seemingly accepting his weak explanation. “How long until dinner is ready?”

You swallowed nervously and barely managed to rasp out: “An hour…maybe?”

“I’ll just take a quick nap if you two don’t mind—oh, don’t trouble yourself, dear.”

“Okay, Grandma, you can nap on my bed…” You said feebly, a little perplexed by how…calm she seemed.

Josephine nodded again and walked to your bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out her phone, searching up ‘Zaddy’ online.

She wished she hadn’t.

+ one.

This was a dream.

A motherfucking dream.

And not even a good one.

Josephine stared at all of the tall, handsome men—and Caleb—towering behind her granddaughter.

“…Dear, I thought you were dating Zayne.” She glanced at the young doctor who looked away in embarrassment.

“I am,” you answered nonchalantly, confused by your grandmother’s behavior.

“…Didn’t you break up with these other young men—and Caleb?”

Caleb blinked.

“No,” you said slowly, “I didn’t want to bombard you with all of them at once, so…I staggered their introductions.”

“You’re…dating…five men…at the same time?”

“Grandma, you are acting like I am banging them all at the same time!”

“Dear, I am sorry, it’s just—”

“We’ve only done it once.”

“…Excuse me?”

“It’s actually harder to coordinate an orgy with everyone’s busy schedule,” you explained thoughtfully, not noticing Josephine’s horrified expression. You continued flippantly, “Zayne has so many surgeries lined up for the next three months. Then Rafayel has an upcoming art show he needs to prepare for, and Sylus—”

Josephine walked away in the middle of the conversation, heading to her bedroom, leaving you flabbergasted.

You looked behind you at your five boyfriends and they all shrugged and scratched their heads, just as lost as you were. Worried, you followed after her. “Grandma? Is something the matter—"

You panicked and shrieked.

“Zayne, Caleb! Grandma is smoking and drinking!”

Josephine mentally sighed as she sat in her bed, leaning back against some propped up pillows as she stared at the ceiling with a bottle of brandy resting on her chest.

Surely, dying in an explosion would be better than this fuckery, right?

[kasuaalipelitelevisio]

Prospect that im going to earn nice amout money in 4 years does bring me comfort.

[quiltofstars]

NGC 2808 // Alex Woronow