#26 is a wild number why am I getting older?

[lilacmingi]

26 BABEYYYYY 🎉

[itsany62]

SteveTony - Alternate Universe

Here are some Alternate Universe fics that I love. Don't forget to leave kudos and nice comments in every fic!

Food for the Heart, by LagLemon, 14 k >, Cooking, No Powers.

After being introduced to a gourmet food on a budget blog by Pepper (a gift for her elderly, cheapskate mother) Tony starts cooking again. The recipes are good, but the blog owner is even better. Still, Tony isn't so sure Captain America, the guy who runs the blog, can compete with Hot Bagboy, the gorgeous blond who works at the grocery store.

"Free to Good Home" by Captain_Panda, 7 k > words, Alternate Universe - Animals.

"Oliver and Company" AU.

There's a great big world outside the box.

But it's a dog-eat-dog world, and Tony's just one cat. Then a stray dog comes along, looking for a friend.

A Day In Principal Stark's Office, by nannersmelo, 10 k > words, Steve Single Parent, Director Tony.

Tony Stark has his hands full with not only Stark Industries, but also his beloved mother's life project: The Maria Stark Academy, and as he enters his office in order to deal with a ferocious mother whose son was apparently assaulted by one of his brightest students, he was sure this day would culminate in nothing but a heinous headache. Little did he know - he was in for one hell of a surprise.

I Am the Night by gottalovev, 6 k > words, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Vampire Tony Stark, Wizard Steve Rogers.

That's it. Tony is doomed. He rolls on his back, crosses his wings over his belly and closes his eyes. He'll await death here, misunderstood by the world to the bitter end.

C is for Calculus and Compromise, by heydoeydoey, 11 k>, Gifted AU, Post-Divorce, Angts with a Happy Ending.

Steve's just trying to give his prodigy daughter a normal childhood. Enter a meddling school administrator, Tony Stark, and too many lawyers.

tell you my love for you by jelliebean, 22 k > words, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Based on Love Simon.

A guy at Shield High comes out on tumblr, anonymously. Tony thought he was the only gay guy on campus--not out, because of Howard--and sends him an email.

“Hey, Flying. Same here. I’ve got a secret too, and it’s like I’m hiding who I am, every day. From everyone. All the closest people to me. But I just can’t tell them. I’m gay, too. It feels like I’m putting on this mask, this shell of who I think they want me to be. Even though I don’t think my friends would judge me. I don’t know why. I just. I’ve got a secret. –Shell”

The guy seems great--amazing, even, and then Hammer has to step in and ruin it all.

Mergers & Acquisitions by Robin_tCJ, 33 k > words, Angst, sex as currency.

Steve Rogers is the CEO of the Rogers Corporation, which he built from the ground up. When he learns that Hydra International is making a bid for a hostile takeover of Stark Industries, he decides he has to do what he can to stop Hydra from overtaking the market and becoming an unstoppable, unethical conglomerate. Tony Stark asks for something Steve isn’t sure he should give, but he does it anyway – and it completely changes everything. But when Hydra keeps coming, Steve and Tony realize there’s more to this than they’d realized.

Meeting the Monsters by itsallAvengers, 23 k > words, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters.

Tony's at public school with kids his age for the first time in seventeen years, and he is determined that this year is gonna be his year. He's going to make friends. He's going to be popular. People will like him.

Unsurprisngly, none of that actually happens.

He does sort-of-maybe fall in love with a vampire in his class that everyone is terrified of, though. So... there's that.

(I Want You To See) The Darkest Side Of Me by ann2who, 45 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Post-World War II.

In Monte Carlo, Steve meets the wealthy widower Anthony Stark. It’s love at first sight—at least for Steve—and he can’t believe his luck when Tony asks him to live at Stark Mansion, his large estate in Malibu. Never in his life had Steve thought something like this was possible… never had he been this happy. However, soon Steve realizes that Tony is still deeply troubled by the death of his first wife and haunted by the many ghosts she left behind. The longer Steve lives in her shadow, the more he understands that… He can never be what Tony’s wife had once been for him. And Tony might never truly love him.

Gift With Purchase Remix by sabrecmc, 43 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, hooker Steve, Sugar Daddy.

Gift With Purchase Remix wherein Steve actually is a hooker. But for a Really Sympathetic Reason.

The Little Glass Screwdriver by ann2who, 19 k > words, Cinderella AU.

When Prince Steven is forced to find himself a bride, true love gets in the way. As the night of the grand ball unfolds, the prince meets a mysterious knight who might just change his entire life in a way he could have never imagined.

**Cinderella AU**

Covered in Lines by royal_chandler, 3 k > words, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Alternate Universe - College/University, Age Difference.

He can’t lose sight of pale, deft hands that gesture on transitive verbs, an ink-stained thumb edging underneath Tony’s ribcage with an affection that can only be called dangerous.

half-wild and glimmering by deathsweetqueen , 15 k > words, Alternate Universe - Western, Prostitution.

“Give me a drink, Tasha,” Tony sighs as he lands in front of the bar. “I’ve had one hell of a day.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Have you really?” she asks, loftily, sliding a tumbler of whiskey along the well-polished wood.

Tony lets his head hang, the sweat beading on the back of his neck. “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve had to put myself through today,” he sighs, wearily.

“I would not know. You will not let me work the rooms,” Natasha retorts, her voice a little strained, busying her hands in a dirty glass.

“I don’t let you work the rooms ‘cause you’re liable to kill anyone who touches ya the wrong way and we can’t lose that much of our business,” Tony reminds her, wryly amused, sipping at his whiskey. He shakes his head at the burn. “We peddle flesh, darling, not death.”

peers, fears and holiday cheers by jacobby, 24 k > words, Parent Tony Stark.

“He’s only two years older than you,” Tony finally says when the silence becomes too much to bear.

“Dad, Teddy is turning twenty-seven next year.”

“I am not dating your husband—”

“I’m not implying you are. I just want you to be...aware that he’s practically the same age as my husband.”

AKA

Tony Stark's new boyfriend is only two years older than his adult sons. Telling them is one thing, introducing them is another. What Tony doesn't expect is that the past always has a way of catching up to him, of biting him in the ass when he least expects it. Well, at least they're all together for the Holidays. What more can he ask for?

A Higher Form of War by sabrecmc, 292 k > words, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Historical Romance.

Tony is a King with a surprising number of people out to kill him. Steve and the rest of the Avengers are fighting for Pierce's rebellion and end up with Tony as their prisoner. Oops.

you can call me babe for the weekend by complicationstoo, 10 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, actor Tony Stark.

Tony left his small town for Los Angeles after high school, leaving behind everything to pursue his dream. Ten years later, he comes back for the first time and finds that some things are impossible to let go of.

Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be by iam93percentstardust, 72 k > words, Alternate Universe - Theatre.

Famed director Phil Coulson brings Shakespeare’s beloved play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, to Broadway. This production though comes with a twist: a brief but passionate love affair between the faerie king, Oberon, and his attendant, Puck. In the roles of the two star-crossed lovers, Coulson casts America’s darling Steve Rogers, fresh off his third Academy Award, and Broadway royalty, Tony Stark. Steve quickly finds himself falling for the quick-witted and sarcastic actor but Tony is dating the stage manager. Unwilling to come between the seemingly happy couple, Steve steps back but all isn’t right behind the scenes and Tony may need him when everything falls apart.

and so we rebuild by raeldaza, 26 k > words, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Soulmates, Mutual Pining.

Sometimes, a voice whispers: you will never atone for your mistakes.

Tony believes that, believes it so strongly some days he drowns in it, but he still tries. Tries through Starfleet, tries through inventions, tries through missions. Then, one day, he meets his new Captain, and things change.

and teach this heart (how to beat with light), by starklystar, 40 k >, AU Hospital, Single parent Steve.

Eight years ago, at a funeral with a baby's cries ringing in his ears, Tony Stark decided to turn his life around. He's a genius, billionaire, philanthropist. What's so hard to adding 'doctor' to that list? And after that, it can't be that hard to add 'husband' and 'father' too, right? But the past has a way of haunting even the very best of us, and in any universe, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers have never had an easy love.

Featuring: drama, chaos, Peter's scheming, meddling friends, and doctors learning again that the heart can never be as simple as four chambers and four valves.

Catching Lightning in a Bottle by sabrecmc, 120 k > words, Alternate Universe - Sweet Home Alabama Fusion.

College student Tony meets janitor Steve at MIT and they fall blissfully in love, until Howard happens and things fall apart. One divorce paperwork snafu courtesy of the ever-helpful Jarvis, and ten years later, Tony has to get re-divorced from Steve.

This does not go as he imagines.

Or, the Sweet Home Alabama AU that no one--well, okay, a few of you--asked for.

The Night Shift by weethreequarter , 16 k > words, Alternate Universe - Hospital.

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Cake It Till You Make It by ChocolateCapCookie, 10 k > words, Kid Fic, Alternate Universe - Bakery.

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark have a lot in common. They're single parents, they own rival bakeries at the center of town... and they both hate each other's guts.

When a mix-up at Peter and Morgan's school has both fathers scrambling to prove they're the better baker, they do the mature, adult thing and compete in a bake-off. Between the mixing and the creaming, the baking and the icing, Steve and Tony find that hate is actually not that far from love.

Looking for Heaven by foxxcub, 31 k > words, Alternate Universe - Regency, Marriage of Convenience.

When young Lord Anthony Stark learns Steven Rogers has enlisted in the army, he thinks he's seen the last of his tiny, headstrong, haughty stable boy. But four years later, Lord Stark gets an unexpected visit from Steve, whose mother has fallen gravely ill and into financial ruin. Even more unexpected, Steve agrees to a shocking proposal: they will marry, giving Steve the necessary funds to save his mother, and Tony the much-needed reprieve from harassing would-be suitors. It is a business arrangement, nothing more. But as time goes on and circumstances arise, Tony begins to learn that keeping his heart away from his husband is easier said than done.

just a guy, standing in front of another guy by theappleppielifestyle, 12 k > words.

“It’s not real,” Tony says, still smiling, jaw twitching with effort. “The fame. It’s - I’m just a guy."

(Or, Notting Hill AU, with a twist.)

Mother of Exiles (A Titanic AU) by BladeoftheNebula, 21 k > words, Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion.

“You’ll never guess what just happened!” Steve said, taking a deep breath to try and calm his breathing. “I met someone. A guy from first class.”

Dublin 1912: Steve Rogers is barely making ends meet, living in the tenement slums of Dublin. But a stroke of good luck gives him and his best friend the chance to change their fortune. Two tickets to America on board the RMS Titanic.

The Devil You Know by shetlandowl, 17 k > words, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Author/Novelist.

Best selling author Tony Stark revives the bodice ripper genre for a modern audience. From frisky gay cowboys to ravenous lesbian pirate queens, he consistently delivers riveting thrillers full of romance, drama, and the filthy, unapologetically kinky sex that has become his trademark specialty.

Tony has everything a man could dream of - horny, adoring fans, and boatloads of money. Or that's what he thought, until Detective Steve Rogers walks into his life and turns it all upside down.

Bears and Mountains and Lumberjacks Oh My! by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday), 24 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Lumberjack Steve Rogers.

It was supposed to be easy--go meet the reclusive artist and buy some art. And then came the broken down car. And the snowstorm. And the lumberjack with a face like a greek god. So yea, Tony is stuck in a cabin in the woods with a hot lumberjack till the storm clears. Could be worse.

Series: A Furious Vexation by Annie D (scaramouche), 18 k > words, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse.

A Steve/Tony post-apocalypse AU that exists pretty much just for the smut.

That Feline Beat by Tito11, 5 k > words, Alternate Universe - Animals.

Presenting Steve and Tony in the Aristocats!AU

Tony and his three kittens have been kidnapped from their fancy Upper East Side apartment while their owners are away and deposited on the mean streets of Harlem. Unsure of where they are or how to get back home, they'll have to rely on street cat Steve to guide them. Will they get home safely? Will Tony's fear of abandonment cause him to drive away the best tomcat he's ever known? Only time will tell.

do you fondue? by calciseptine, 16 k > words, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting.

Tony has done crazy things in the name of food, but falling in love with Steve Rogers really takes the cake.

a glimpse of heaven's love by parkrstark, 13 k> words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Terminal Illnesses.

The child begins to empty his pockets. He starts to count coins on the counter. Tony huffs a little impatiently as he realizes most of them are pennies.

The cashier actually humors the kid and counts along with him. They reach 3 dollars and 54 cents before he shakes his head sadly. "Sorry, kid. There's not enough here."

The kid sounds close to crying. "I need these paints for my Papa. It's Christmas Eve and these...he doesn't have any. The doctors said he doesn't have long. I want him to have these. In case he meets Jesus tonight, I want him to paint one more time. Please."

Tony takes a step forward, arms still full of toys he's buying just because. He can cover this child's gift for his dying father. Money. Money is what he's good for.

"I'll buy them."

--

Or, the Christmas Shoes AU no one but me asked for.

If you survive first impressions, you're good to go by itsallAvengers, 3 k > words, Parent Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - No Powers.

The first time Peter Parker-Stark sees Steve Rogers, he may or may not be standing in direct path of the man's motorcycle.

His daddy is really not going to be happy about that one.

A Rat-ional Conclusion by BladeoftheNebula, 6 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Veterinarians, Parent Tony Stark.

He had a strong flurry of patients throughout the morning and by the time it rolled around to noon, he was just about worn out.

He walked out into the reception, stretching until he felt a satisfying pop. “Are we done?”

Bucky checked the screen. “Just about. One more before lunch - a rat, singular.”

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully straight forward then. “Great, let me know when they-”

He was interrupted by the bell over the door and looked up to see a little girl cradling a small animal carrier, being shepherded through the door by easily one of the hottest men he’d ever seen in real life.

Oh wow.

Tidal Pull by sabrecmc, 97 k > words, Octopus Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - Shipwrecked.

After the American Civil War, Union soldier Steve Rogers takes a chance on an opportunity to sail with the Stark Trading Company down in the Caribbean. During a terrible storm, his ship is lost. To his surprise, he survives, and ends up stranded on an island that isn't quite as deserted as he first thinks.

Or, a reverse Little Mermaid tale where Steve has to fall for the fish-man.

Twelve Days by elysianprince, 22 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Ghosts.

In which Tony finds himself in a town that looks like it crawled out of a Hallmark Christmas movie, trying to sell an inn he didn't know he owned, all while dealing with Steve Rogers, the resident ghost who has returned to haunt the inn each December during the twelve days of Christmas for the past seventy years. Tony has only one logical solution that benefits them both: break the curse that binds him - but falling for a man almost a century old wasn't among his plans.

She kissed me by S_Horne, 1 k > words, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting.

“Your mom kissed me.”

Steve blinked awake and lifted his head from his pillow to look over at the silhouette in the doorway. “What?”

“Your mom,” Tony reiterated. “She kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Steve said simply, “she does that.”

[pro-exotics]

This isn’t “new” as the post above is from 2011, but I was curious if there were any actual lifespan studies on pet or zoo parrots, and found this first.

Here is the link to the actual study: https://zslpublications.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1469-1795.2011.00477.x#t2

From what I have learned from lifespan studies on toothed whales, I know talking about lifespan can be very, very difficult.

(Apologies in advance that this post got so long-winded.)

----------

For example, when looking up beluga whale “average lifespan”, you can find figures anywhere from 13 to 80 years, both claiming to be “average”. But what does that mean?

Rather, 13 years is what they found the lifespan of belugas to be counted from birth, including all calves that die (which is a very high number). 80 years being the estimated maximum, and then some perhaps less educated person put that as “average lifespan” on a website about whales.

I think the reason for this comes largely because we judge from those two species closest to us; humans and dogs. Human lifespan? Eh, 80 years. In many countries today, a girl has a life expectancy at birth of perhaps 83 years. That is also very close to a “maximum” lifespan (say 90 years), with the exception of some outliers that live far longer. When you’re 83-90 years old, you’re quite ripe, as a human. So “maximum” and “average” is very close, in humans.

As for dogs, 11 years is about average. It’s also old, with some living a bit longer, say the maximum is about 15 (again, with the exception of some remarkable individuals). So, average and maximum, pretty close.

As for beluga whales, the maximum may be about 60-65 (I frankly don’t know where they got “80″ from, as the oldest small whales and dolphins tend to die off in their early 60s, I don’t know of any confirmed older than 65), but the average adult dies in its 30s, and life expectancy at birth is ~13-15.

So the maximum is about twice the typical lifespan for an adult which is about twice the life expectancy at birth. You see how this is complicated? I talk about whales here because it’s what I know best.

To compare with humans, in a more “wild” setting (our ancestors), the maximum we have today of ~115 is twice what our ancestors would start dying at (55 would be quite old and a lot of them would be dead, but they could still sometimes live to 90), and our life expectancy at birth was closer to 25-30, due to high infant mortality. Three completely different figures, in the same way as the belugas.

So allow me to wonder when I read this study on parrot lifespan in zoos. First... and this is the same as with whales in zoos... the older animals will have been caught or born in a time when we didn’t know how to care for them very well (and this study goes back to animals born in the early 1800s). They may have spent their first several decades, or even their entire lives, with a poor diet, habitat or care.

Any animal born in the 1990s or 2000s, that is dead today... obviously didn’t get to live a long time, for whatever reason. Animals born in 2000 or 2010 that will live to the age of 50 or beyond, will not yet die and be included in a study like this for a long time, so they are not included. Again, complicated. (And which is why, when I calculate lifespans, I use strict rules for time of birth and death, and don’t mix those groups, like animals born in 1950 with those born in 1990.)

I know these people are professionals and I am not, but each study is different, and different methods may be used. I am just writing all this to explain how lifespan studies are complicated and may not always give a true picture.

----------

To the point then, I am confused regarding the cockatoos:

It says the oldest Moluccan cockatoo lived to an age of 92 years, but that the average lifespan for birds who survived to adulthood was a mere 9.5 years.

The oldest greater sulphur-crested lived to nearly 73 years, and the oldest lesser sulphur/yellow-crested lived to just under 40 years. Okay. And for both species, the average for those who survived to adulthood, was 8-10 years.

This doesn’t make any sense. Putting these three species together, all with the same average in the end, the maximum was ~68.49 years. That puts the average (not at birth, but for those who survived their first four years) at a mere 14.2% of the maximum lifespan.

I assume zoo parrots would be spared from many of the dangers pet birds are exposed to (open windows, pet cats and dogs, open water, flying into windows, being caught in doors, etc.), so this really makes me wonder at the causes of death.

I could try to make an unprofessional little study by looking around forums where people report their parrots deaths at various ages. Again, it would be very unprofessional and could not be directly compared (no two studies can ever truly be compared side by side, unless the exact same methods were used), but it would be interesting to see, because I just find this so unlikely.

Looking at the macaws, it’s interesting as their maximum ages were not as high as those of the cockatoos, but their average was better, in their 20s or near the 20s. The highest average (of the birds who survived to adulthood) with a reasonable sample size was of the red-tailed amazon, at 21.93 years, from a sample of 15 birds. (And makes me wonder even more why so many cockatoos died young?)

It does say the oldest Meyer’s parrot lived to be 31 (and the average was 9), but I know for a fact that Meyer’s parrots have lived to be over 40 (outliers, however). I guess I can be happy that my Meyer’s is now 18. While data on her species is very poor, I expect her to maybe live to her 30s.

My white-bellied caique got sick and died a few months before his fourth birthday. Looking at his species here, it says this:

34 birds total. The oldest lived to 23.14 years. Total average lifespan was 4.97 years, with 8 birds dying before the age of 4. The remaining 26, who survived to the age of 4 and beyond, died at an average of 5.79 years. However, the additional 3 birds alive when they published the study in 2008, averaged 20.28 years. Huh. (Three is a tiny sample size and you can’t compare living ages with the lifespan of the dead, but it’s funny that they averaged so close to the maximum.)

Anyway. I will be looking at more studies and surveys that might exist of captive parrot lifespans, because this is interesting, and while I doubt 9-10 years is actually a normal lifespan for large cockatoos, I’m certain “50-100 years or more” only belongs to outliers.

[peachfaeryy]

Hi 🌙

It's my birthday right now. I'm 26 now.

1. What is my fondest childhood memory?

My fondest childhood memories definitely consist of the lovely people who I grew up with and derived my sense of humor/silliness from: my cousins Anna & Emily, Savannah -- my childhood best friend, and Kaleb, my eternal crush. These memories consist of them in elementary school, camp, and my grandma's house in San Antonio.

2. What is my favorite comfort food?

Probably nachos/chips/chips & queso.

3. What’s my favorite way to exercise?

Uh...DANCE.

4. Am I a morning person or a night owl?

I lean more towards night owl but I try to avoid both.

5. If I could have any superpower, what would it be?

The currency of youth.

6. Do I prefer cooking, baking, or neither?

I love both cooking and baking :) I find both extremely rewarding and cathartic.

7. Am I an introvert or an extrovert?

Ambivert strongly introvert-leaning.

8. What superhero do I find most relatable?

None, I detest all superheroes.

9. What is my favorite season of the year — and what do I love most about it?

Winter because it provides me with the most amount of physical comfort. I love sleeping in a very cold room, opening my windows with no AC on. Sitting in my car listening to music/eating with engine off. Less humidity. Food is tastier. Style is better.

10. Do I believe in the existence of angels?

Not particularly? Well, yes but I believe they have absolutely no role or effect on our world.

11. What are my favorite TV series?

American Crime Story (OJ & Versace), Fleabag, Atlanta...90 Day Fiance, Game of Thrones

12. What was the last movie I watched (or the last movie I enjoyed)?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (let's gooOoo)

13. Am I a tidy person or a messy one?

I used to be very messy but not I'd consider myself pretty tidy. My nature is messy though.

14. Am I afraid of the dark?

Nah.

15. Am I more of a coffee person or a tea person?

Mostly coffee.

16. What talents do I possess that I’m proud of?

I don't have any natural-born talents but I suppose my ability to teach myself a new skill over time.

17. Do (or did) I like school?

I loved school and literally work at a school.

18. Did I go to the prom?

Unfortunately, yes.

19. What is my idea of a perfect date?

Definitely grabbing pizza at a nice restaurant.

20. Do I enjoy DIY or crafts?

Not at all, sounds awful, lol.

21. Do I forgive others easily?

Yes. But not so much anymore now that I'm older and more experienced. My instinct/nature is very forgiving.

22. Do I have a nickname — or did I ever have one?

None.

23. Do I have any phobias?

I'm scared of most anything anything everything...I'd say my daily fear is mistaking my razor for my toothbrush in the shower.

24. Have I ever met one of my heroes? If yes, who was it, and how did it go?

No?

25. Do I speak any other languages?

No, but I told myself I would learn Spanish before I die.

26. Have I ever traveled outside my native country?

Yes! I have been the Mexico and Ireland.

27. If money were no object, what would I want for my next birthday?

Maybe a trip to South Korea/Germany/Rhode Island

28. Have I ever been addicted to something?

Yes. But as far as substances? I'm addicted to Nsaid.

29. When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up?

I wanted to be a wildlife photographer when I was a kid-kid.

30. Have I ever won something?

$75 with scratch offs

31. Have I ever narrowly escaped death (or serious injury)?

I'd say so, yes.

32. Do I prefer baths or showers?

Showers.

33. How am I feeling right now?

Changed.

34. Have I ever played any sports?

Soccer, Basketball, and cross-country

35. Do I prefer the beach or the mountains?

Beach, but I feel connected to both.

36. Do I prefer a Mac or a PC?

Uh...PC?

37. Do I prefer dogs or cats (or some other pet)?

Cats...I honestly do not like dogs at all.

38. Do I have any piercings or tattoos? Would I like to get any?

I have three tattoos: three rune, a sword, and a butterfly. All of which are on my arms.

39. Do I have kids?

Not right now.

40. Do I have siblings?

None.

41. What do I do on a typical Friday night?

Same thing I usually do: practice dance/choreo for a couple of hours. Read, cook, watch Youtube. If I’m going out, I’ll maybe grab dinner/hang with my friends. I MAY go to ~the club~ in a blue moon.

42. If I could go anywhere in the world with unlimited funds, where would I go?

SOUTH KOREA

43. What do I do to relax?

Shower, listen to music. Do my makeup for fun.

44. What do I do to wake up or boost my energy levels?

Blast Stray Kids

45. Would I rather have unlimited energy or unlimited money?

Unlimited money

46. Am I a collector of anything? If yes, how big is my collection?

I collect Kpop bullshit...(albums, photo cards, posters, etc.) essentially merch from my favorite artists.

47. What sort of gift would I want from my significant other on Valentine’s Day or on my birthday?

JUST flowers. All I care about it getting flowers on both of those days.

48. Which would I rather avoid — excess heat or extreme cold?

Excess heat.

49. Would movie genre would I rather watch: action, romance, fantasy, or horror?

Of those choices: horror. I also like a solid journey story.

50. Have I ever been on a diet? If yes, how did it go?

More like a mini eating disorder, lol? I went through phases where I only consumed 1500 calories.

51. If I could live anywhere for a month with whomever I choose, where would that be?

Greece with I suppose...someone I get along with.

52. Have I ever gone camping? Or do you look at a tent and think, “I feel like that’s the wonton wrapper, and I’m the filling.”

Yes, several times. I actually thoroughly enjoy camping.

53. What’s the last song I listened to?

Ribs -- Lorde

54. What’s my current obsession, and how much have I spent on it?

Anything kpop...hours. I’m talking hours and hours.

55. What’s a favorite book of mine?

We Need to Talk About Kevin

56. What should I be doing right now?

Sleeping.

57. What’s my best feature?

Physically? Boobs.

Personality? I would say kindness but that’s basic. Witty? Self-discipline.  

58. What’s the most expensive article of clothing (or shoes) that I own?

Damn...shoes...? $100?

59. What is one thing I could not live without?

Music. My one coping mechanism and literally the reason I’m alive and functional.

60. What’s one thing I can’t leave the house without (other than keys and my wallet)?

Phone... BC packet?

61. What’s one of my pet peeves?

Slow walkers

62. What wild animal would I love to have for a pet (as long as it didn’t eat anyone)?

Maybe like...a toucan?

63. What’s my favorite drink?

An ICE COLD fizzy SODA boiii

64. What’s my spirit animal, and do I own anything featuring that animal?

I guess I’m very cat-like. I used to have a lot of cat stuff, but not anymore...

65. What’s my favorite restaurant, and what’s my favorite splurge order?

I like basically any fast food joint. I’m also a sucker for Chili’s. I’m really basic. A splurge order for me would be ordering a margarita with my meal.

66. What’s my favorite movie — or the best one I’ve seen in the last three years?

I’ve been obsessed with We Need to Talk About Kevin, Pirates of the Caribbean...I’ve been wanting to rewatch Little Miss Sunshine

67. What’s a favorite hobby of mine?

Dancing :)

68. What’s my favorite go-to snack?

Health-wise: apples and peanut butter. But if I don’t care: chips

69. What are my must-haves for watching a movie in a theater?

True interest in the film

70. What’s my favorite kind of competition to watch (sports, cooking, etc.)?

Not really into competition shows.

71. Would I rather get an electric shock or get an intramuscular shot (tetanus, etc.)?

Electric shock?

72. What’s my dream car?

Bella’s shitty red truck let’s gooooo

73. What are the must-haves in the home of my dreams?

LOTS of open space, sunlight, heated bathroom floor

74. What’s my favorite sandwich?

Chicken salad, BLT, plain peanut butter

75. What’s my favorite kind of dinner? (comfort food, four-course, take-out Chinese…)

Comfort food

76. If I could change my eye and hair color, what color/s would I choose?

I would DEF change my eye color to a warm brown and my hair to very dark brown. I’m growing my natural hair out. I’m going dye-free right now.

77. Who is my favorite fictional character (or one of them)?

Jack Sparrow

78. What’s my longest relationship so far (other than family)?

4 years...

79. What is my star sign — or do I usually avoid that question?

I DO NOT care about this but I’m a Leo

80. What is my lucky number, or what is a favorite number of mine?

Uh? N/A

81. What city do I live in now, and what’s my favorite thing about it?

I still live in Denton and I detest it.

82. What state do I live in now, and what do I love about it?

Texas, its diversity.

83. If I had to move to a different state, where would I rather go?

New Mexico

84. Have I ever colored my hair? If yes, what’s my favorite hair color experiment so far?

Yes, most of my teen and adult life. But my “crazy” hair experiment right now is going dye-free and wearing my natural color.

85. Whom do I miss right now?

My 14-year-old self

86. Have I ever made a mistake that someone else refused to forgive me for?

Apparently.

87. Do I have a celebrity crush? If yes, who is it?

JOHNNY DEPP and all of Stray Kids lol. Jungkook?

88. If I could meet any celebrity for coffee/tea and a chat, who would it be?

Marina Diamandis

89. As desserts go, would I rather have ice cream or cheesecake?

Ice Cream

90. Would I rather live in a house or an apartment, and why?

A small house.

91. Would I rather live in a treehouse, a cave, or a submarine?

Treehouse

92. What is one big goal that I want to accomplish this year?

Move out of D*nton.

93. What do I want to do for a living?

I’m happy being a teacher, but ultimately I’d like to counsel kids.

94. When I feel sick, where do I usually feel it first or most noticeably?

My head.

95. What sort of smartphone do I use, and what made me choose it?

Uh? Android?

96. What’s one movie that I’ve watched repeatedly? What do I love about it?

I watch signs pretty frequently. Midsommar? I connect with its characters because they seem like real actual people? I’ve been wanting to rewatch the Lovely Bones.

100. If I could afford one, would I rather hire a chef, a personal assistant, or a housekeeper?

Housekeeper!

97. What is one food that I refuse to eat?

Liver

98. What exotic food would I be willing to try?

I’d be open to trying most any food.

99. What is one item on my bucket list, and what made me choose it?

I’m kind of working on it now. I want to put a few years in while I’m young and able to become a very good dancer. I know that to obtain that it IS going to take years. It’s something that’s really important to me because I’ve always wanted that for myself but never made actual steps to obtain/execute it. And ultimately, I want it because it allows me to feel like my true self.

[nerolith]

It’s your fault that I am mean now: all the oh lalala questions please~!

1. Top turn on? Being shown I am wanted. I should add by the particular individual that wants me and I want them is a top turn on.

2. Last time you had sex with the opposite gender?  Few weeks ago.

3. Last time you had sex with the same gender? That is even longer I was in my early 30's

4. Last time you masturbated? Every day. Usually in the shower easy clean up haha.

5. What’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on? Dammit... The thought of having sex on top of a horse while it wanders in the back nine.

7. What’s the weirdest kind of porn you’ve watched?  Pirate porn haha.

8. How often do you masturbate/have sex? Sex isn't often. I masturbate everyday if I am up for it.

9. Have you ever taken nude pictures? Close enough to being nude?

10. Dom or Sub? I'm Dominic Toretto

11. Is pain a good thing? Only if there is a want for it.

12. Do you like biting? Hahem I do.

13. Do you like scratching? Not skin breaking hard.

14. Are you slightly horny right now? I'm a guy what does that tell you? Haha.

15. Are you very horny right now?  Haha

16. Do you like face fucking? If the other individual was into it.

17. 10 of your biggest turn ons?

Dammit again, 10? Should I give a novel of exactly how to turn me on? Haha

Don't most of these questions give away turn ons?

18. Do you cook naked? I have and likely will again.

19. Do you like foreplay?  Love it.

20. Have you had a vaginal orgasm? Erhm no.

21. Do you like sex with women? I do.

22. Do you like sex with men? I do.

23. Would you have sex with a trans* person? Yes, a feeling is a feeling.

24. Do you like your nipples played with? Sure? Can't say I've had it done to really know. Haha.

25. Do you like your lips bitten? Of course, it releases the excitement don't you think?

26. Do you like to kiss with tongue? I do.

27. How often do you masturbate? Wasn't this established already? Haha.

28. Have you masturbated while someone else was in the room? Hm I haven't.

29. Would you have sex with a married person? If they were married to me.

30. Would you have sex with a couple/multiple people? That would depend on how my partner would feel on it. Being single? Not sure to be honest haha.

31. Do you go outside naked? If it was private setting where I could I likely would.

32. Do you like being woken up with sex? Never had it happen, perhaps start with oral.

33. Do you give oral? I do.

34. Would you let someone eat off of you? Haha what? Sure? If they wanted to?

35. What is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with? No younger than 30 and up that is just a number. For the most part.

36. Do you like having drunk sex? I haven't been drunk in years I don't know.

37. Do you enjoy wearing lingerie? No.

38. What is your favorite thing about sex?  From start till finish and after.

39. What is your favorite sexual setting? Basically anywhere as long as we are both sexual? Haha?

40. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater? Given the opportunity why not?

41. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf? Likely not.

42. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf? Sure?

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?: would depend on the mood and treatment of it. Haha.

44. Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both? It is all on who I like and gain that feeling for doesn't matter what their sex will be.

45. How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger? Never.

46. How do you feel about one night stands? I am not against them. Sometimes they happen.

47. Do you prefer to make love or fuck? Both

48. Have you ever watched porn while having sex? Yes.

49. How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed? As long as the moment calls for it.

50. Do you like kissing during sex? Yes.

51. Does size matter? Erhm.

52. How many sexual partners have you have in the last month? 1

53. What does your favorite foreplay include? The usual, toys.

54. Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?  I've given it and I like it.

56. Do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner? Listen to them? Listen to their body and you should have a problem.

57. Could you live without sex? No.

58. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you? Again depends on the person and mood.

59. Do you like to perform oral sex? I do.

60. Do you like to receive oral sex? I do.

61. Have you ever taped yourself in the act? Never.

62. Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some? I haven't.

63. Have you ever been caught in the act? Also no.

64. Have you ever had sex while on drugs? I do not do them.

65. Would you let other people watch you have sex live? No.

66. Do you ever have sex in the shower? I have yes.

67. What was the biggest age difference with a partner? 10 or something like that.

68. Do you feel your up to par in bed? With out a doubt.

69. What was your most embarrassing sexual moments? I don't have any surprisingly I know haha.

70. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back? I'm very tall so it would be where ever is more comfortable.

71. Do you wear protection as often as you should? If I need too I will.

72. Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you? Does that matter?

73. Have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)? I've tied a individual down before.

74. Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life? That isn't for the world or myself to name.

75. If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?  That is confidential between myself and if the other individual knows or not.

Ţhåņķ ýøů

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.8

Shopping with Shiro was god awkward. Being a local, everyone was too damn cheerful as they did polite thing and say hello, some asking who Shiro was, and another pondering the question which would lead to rumours at a later date. Lance didn’t like to brag, but he was pretty well known in Garrison for making a “haunted house” his home. There weren’t any ghosts there, only the long dead skeletons of rats and mice, and the occasional spot of mould. He was also well known as being a bit “odd”, 26 with no partner struck some of the older community as a bit strange, as did the fact that he’d live in such a large home alone. Still, Lance blended himself in as seamlessly as he could. Earlier in the year he’d thought about picking up a few shifts at a local bar, only to change his mind over the fear of somehow cutting him and cursing the local drunks. Plus, people really sucked when they were drunk. He was more than likely to blow a fuse if he had to be flirted with every single damn shift simply because he looked at the peak of his youth.

Sticking to his usual routine of picking random things that he knew he could make a meal from, he found himself schooling Shiro in the ways of bulk savings, and discount brands. Shiro didn’t know how to process that he was a vampire who ate garlic... other foods in general. He really wasn’t living up to his role as a vampire at all, yet, despite how hard he tried not to, part of him decided it had to go and like Shiro as a person, despite the fact he’d clearly vandalised his own car and lied through his teeth when they’d met. Buying way too much food, the dude at the check out pretty much had bug eyes when it came to loading up the belt, because Lance never brought as much he was right then, then paying for it as Shiro insisted on placing the bags back in the trolley, as it was “the least he could do, all things considered”. Lance kept trying to consider him a pain, but now he was actually wondering if this had been how his family felt when he’d suddenly come back home different to the rest of them. He wanted to ring his Mami and ask her advice over the whole matter, but the idea of her baby boy living with two men who kill vampires for a living would send into a fit of hysterics over his safety.

Taking his keys from him, Shiro was good at insisting things. Insisting he needed his rest, and that he should cover his face so the sun’s rays wouldn’t burn up his skin. Shiro was fast feeling like a big brother that Lance had desperately wanted, but denied he needed. The fact that Shiro didn’t seem to want to murder him left him with all kinds of conflicted feelings that were too muddled to sort out. He was a vampire, Shiro was a hunter, that was the black and white of it, those damn shades of grey in between were making all of this far more difficult than it needed to be.

A tad too proud of an inanimate object, his bronco was a good girl, not starting for Shiro until the third time he tried to turn over the engine. Not used to the closeness of the H on the clutch, Shiro ground the gears more than once, then proceeded to bunny hop over that damn ditch in Lance’s driveway. Forget Shiro being the older brother, he was giving Lance’s younger self a run for his money, though his problem had been that even at accelerated speeds things seemed slower than the normal speed limit. His glasses helped with that, as had keeping the one car for his adult life. Bunny hopping to a stop in front of Lance’s house, Shiro shot him an embarrassed look, Lance quick to reassure him he wasn’t about to tell anyone over the mistreatment of his beloved girl.

Getting the shopping inside was a whole other drama as he wasn’t allowed to help with that either. Sent to his living room, he found Shiro had made himself at home, cleaning up the trashed remains into something more put together yet nowhere near Lance’s high standards. He still needed a new coffee table, provided he’d be living long enough to enjoy it. With that room not needing dire attention, Lance found himself in his kitchen, not trusting Shiro to be near any open fire unsupervised. The clock already read 4:30pm, a little, lot, later than he would have liked the time to be. Lugging the last of the shopping bags in, Shiro hefted a sigh of relief before dropping himself down in the first available dining chair. Boy, if the man thought things ended there, he was in for a tough ride.

Waiting all of thirty second for Shiro to start relaxing, Lance clapped his hands, earning himself a groan

“What are you doing sitting down?”

“Wha...?”

“The real work starts now that we’re home. We’ve got a dinner party to cook for, and don’t think your lack of kitchen prowess is getting you out of it. You’re staying under my roof, which means you’re helping out. Besides, “Sleeping Beauty”, is gonna wanna eat sometime before he expires of old age”

Shiro sighed as he rose to his feet

“You’re right. You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

“If you’re asking if I’m serious about my friends enjoying themselves, then yes I am. If you’re asking about Keith, he’s got a nice enough face, but that’s as far as it goes. He won’t eat what I cook, unless you want to lie to him about it. So, you’re helping, that way you can tell him the nasty blood sucker didn’t taint his precious food”

“That comment... it, um, it really got under your skin, didn’t it?”

“It’d be like me slandering all you hunters as wild beast killing Barbarians. I’ve come across them before, it’s kind of hard not to when you’ve been around a while, they usually prefer to be more direct with their kills”

Shiro nodded, his left hand moving to grab above his elbow on his right arm, as if Lance’s words had triggered him to remember some deep self-conscience secret

“I guess it is. But for the most part we are”

“Touché. I don’t want to admit this, but I don’t think I hate you as much as I should”

“For a vampire you’re not that bad”

“I could have told you that. Now, what does Keith like eating?”

“Something quick and easy”

“Thanks for that. Let’s put it this way, is there anything he’s allergic too?”

“He’s a bit iffy when it comes to milk... I was going to try make him some soup”

Lance couldn’t count the number of ways that could have gone wrong

“I can do soup. I got chicken today, so we’ll do chicken and vegetable for “Madam Dramatics”. You’ll be in charge of slicing things. I assume you’re skilled with a blade enough to know not to stab the vampire with pointy end”

“I’ve been around a blade or two”

“Good. Wash your hands then wash the vegetable”

Shiro stared at him blankly, Lance groaning

“Okay. I’ll wash the vegetables. You can work a peeler right?”

“I don’t know...”

Lance cast Shiro a serious frown. Vegetable peelers had come a long way since Lance was a child, but there were now easier than ever. Noticing the minute movements of Shiro’s lips, Lance wanted to smack him, yet instead he did the adult thing and used his words

“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little”

“You know what, I take it all back. You’re not like an older brother, you’re like a dead beat father. Get to work on the vegetables while I start on the rest”

Having Shiro in the kitchen nearly ruined the joy of cooking forever. Lance didn’t really enjoy cooking the way Hunk did, but giving up on human food wasn’t an option when he was just another normal human being. He felt he’d be giving into his curse to give it up completely, and if he had the money, why not spoil his friends with some really good food? Asking Shiro to use the bones to make a chicken broth resulted in the bones being burnt. Then Shiro left the tea towel a fraction too close to the stove top and that started to smoulder. By the time the clock struck five, and that big beautiful best friend of his, also known as Hunk, walked through the kitchen door, Lance was nearly crying tears of frustration. He’d tasted Shiro’s soup, then promptly rushed to the kitchen sink to throw up, tiny flecks of metal stared up at him and Lance cursed Keith again. Walking up to Hunk, Lance wrapped his arms around him

“Thank god, you’re here”

Patting Lance’s back, Hunk laughed nervously

“Um, thanks, man. Hello, Shiro. Nice to, um, see you again”

“Keith left his camera behind, he’s bad in the morning without his caffeine. Lance offered to let us stay for dinner. We came to collect it. You know how it is”

Hunk knew how unhappy Lance was about house guests. His friends knew that staying in his house wasn’t an invite just any old random got, unless it came from Pidge

“Man, it’s lucky that you left it here and not somewhere else. Not everyone is as kind hearted as Lance”

With his face so close to Hunk’s neck, Lance could hear Hunk’s heartbeat. He could see the veins that carried that fresh blood to and from Hunk’s brain. He’d never feed from him, but Lance was definitely having control issues. He needed blood, he needed to bring himself back under control. His body felt like he was wearing the meat suit of a stranger

“Man, are you okay? You’re totally bundled up”

“I’m fine, Hunkeroo. Just a bit of a sniffle, probably from that window breaking. Shiro’s volunteered to be your sous chef for the evening, thought I wouldn’t trust him with anything other than the chicken soup”

Hunk nodded, Lance stepping back out of his hold. Thank god he was so thickly padded Hunk couldn’t feel him shivering

“Wait, if Shiro’s here, where’s Keith?”

Lance opened his mouth, but it was Shiro’s voice that piped up

“Keith doesn’t like to admit it, but he gets pretty bad car sickness. He needed a nap before dinner to sleep it off”

Hunk nodded sympathetically

“I get that too. It’s horrible. I’ve got this new medication I’m on that really seems to help, I can give him the name if it’ll help”

“I don’t see the harm”

Shiro lied so naturally that Lance wondered if Keith did get car sick. Keith’s bad arse image was in tatters now. The next time the idiot tried to pick a fight him, Lance wasn’t going to hesitate in teaching his ego a lesson

“Right, well. Shiro’s here to help, he can’t be left unwatched. This one has the skill of burning water in an off kettle. I need to check my work phone, and I want to check in with Miriam”

Shiro questioned

“Miriam?”

Hunk nodded, already slipping into chef mode

“That’s his grandmother. Sure, dude. Take your time, but you know, not too much time...”

Hunk was taking a leap of faith, taking Lance’s “trust” of Shiro to mean he could take those tentative steps too. Hunk’s naturally loveable and huge hearted self didn’t need much of an excuse to love somebody. He prayed that whatever happened, Shiro would spare Hunk the pain of a broken friendship.

The door to Lance’s office had been left ajar. Making the most of it, Blue was curled up on his office chair, Lance softening immediately at the sight of his princess

“Blue... hey, baby girl”

Blue let out a “rowrr”, rolling over and stretching herself out in the chair, her head turning his way as it bobbed a little, like she couldn’t quite focus. With her precious little toes reaching towards him, Lance smiled down at his girl, not wanting to lift her off the chair where she was so comfortable. Walking over, he knelt down, scratching between Blue’s ears as she nudged up into the pats

“So this is where you’ve been? Daddy’s sorry. I left you all alone, my baby”

Laying his cheek on Blue, her fur tickled his nose, still too hypersensitive, but finding peace in Blue’s strong heartbeat. What was happening to him? All of this was strange, all of these heightened senses were scary. Disgruntled over being reduced to his pillow, Blue moved from beneath him, sticking her butt in his face in a half kind of squat as she licked her back, an accusing glare cast in his direction

“You’re the one who moved. I didn’t want to disturb you”

He swore Blue understood every word, his girl quick to jump off the chair and strut away out the door.

Sighing as he was left alone, Lance hadn’t actually wanted to call his Mami. He didn’t want her knowing he was sick or stressed, but his list of go to people were short. With his body changing, he figured he should reach out to Coran for answers, but was scared off at the idea that Shiro or Keith might have bugged his office. Vatican sanctioned hunters were no joke. God’s love was found in the light, while his species were seen as unworthy night freaks that should be decapitated at the first opportune moment. It wasn’t like him to be so depressed, he needed to get his shit together and keep strong, so why was he letting himself spiral like this? He’d met hunters before, forced to flee long ago and barely in his late 20’s. He thought he’d done such a good job of blending in, of being likeable to everyone. Now he was just too damn scared to think of his next move. A truce between him and Shiro could surely not last longer than tonight. Shiro only agreed not to kill him due to his human friends. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want to drink Keith’s blood in the first place, so why did he have to be punished when he’d pretty much saved Keith from himself.

“Freeze, bloodsucker”

What happened to Keith being in bed? So weak he needed his big brother to fend for him? Turning his head, he rested his other cheek on the chair as he looked to Keith. Keith looked sleepy, yet unamazingly alive. A proper nap would fix up much of his appearance, as would a series of face masks to help with the whole “black bag panda” look he was rocking. Pointing a gun in his direction, Lance couldn’t even be surprised by it

“Just so you know, Shiro and I have a truce at the moment because there’s a human in the house”

“You think I care? You fucking turned me”

Lance moved his head again, flipping back to the other cheek and staring at his desk

“You’re not a vampire”

“I am too! You bit me”

“You punched me in the teeth”

“You still turned me!”

“Keith, fuck off. You’re not a vampire”

“I am! I received a vampire’s bite”

“Nope”

“I’m turning. I can feel it. My body feels different”

“That’s because you’re a dumbarse. Relax, you’re still human”

“I’m not! You ruined my life, the least you can do is die!”

Before Keith could react, Lance was standing in front of him. Grabbing the muzzle of the gun, he held it up to his chest in line with his undead heart

“You’re not a vampire. Fucking shoot me if you want to, but I never fucking turned you”

It was interesting to hear Keith’s heart begin to race with fear. His eyes were something else, Lance staring him dead in the eyes, feeling like those eyes could steal his very soul

“You turned me”

“I didn’t turn you. Now, either you shoot me right here, or you go back to bed like a good little boy. Shiro’s worried enough about you as it is”

“You have no right...”

“I have no right mentioning his name? Is that it? Sorry to break it to you, but until tomorrow morning, and my friends have all gone home safely, your stupid arse is stuck here. Now, I’m going to have a bite to drink while you go back to bed. Neither of us are going to tell Shiro you pulled a gun on me while a human was in the house, and you’re going to get through you think mullet covered head, you are not a vampire”

Letting the gun go, Lance turned and walked back to his desk, making a show of calmly pulling down a wine glass and opening his safe. His blood supply had been fucking halved, probably by Keith, and Lance kind of hoped that the idiot would have taken a sip by now and see he was still the stupid human he’d always been. Feeling Keith’s eyes remain on him, Lance sighed

“Can’t a man get a moment of privacy in his own home?”

“How can I trust you? How do I know you aren’t planning on pulling out your own gun”

“Because you fucking tossed my office already. If there a gun in here, your dumbarse would have found it. Now, shoo”

Keith did not “shoo”, either the whole encounter had taken so long Shiro got worried, or Hunk had mentioned Lance was headed to his office, whatever it was, Shiro didn’t take long to interrupt the one sided staring match

“Keith! What are you doing out of bed?”

With Shiro finally there to break the tension, Lance poured himself out a third of the blood bag

“I’m not human any more, Shiro...”

“Keith. I get that this change is hard for you, but we’re going to get through this together. Lance has people over tonight, we can’t make a move until they’ve left”

“He’s a vampire and he fucking turned me!”

All Keith needed to was start stomping his feet and he’d have impersonating a cranky toddler down pact

“Keith, please. Whatever he’s done to you, I won’t rest until we have a cure. Right now, Lance is only source of information. I know it hard, but you need your rest”

Lance’s opinion of Shiro’s intelligence dropped. He’d told Shiro that Keith wasn’t a vampire. Yet there Shiro was, assuring Keith they’d find a cure. The only cure was death. The whole “kill the sire” thing didn’t work, the two who’d sired Lance had to have been killed off by now... unless they were born into the vampire way of life. Lance actually hadn’t the first clue about how a vampire was “born” and not from being bitten and turned. Perhaps blood in the infants milk? That was the only reasoning he could some up with. Maybe if he hadn’t clung to his human roots, he would have ventured out to learn more about the beast he was.

“Fine. Tonight, and only tonight, I’ll let you off, but come tomorrow, you better tell me everything I need to know before I kill you”

Whooo hoo. One last dinner, at least it’d be with his friends. Keith’s carrying ons were enough to make his headache increase tenfold, bitter as he muttered

“Go away already”

[satanvincent]

thanks @sohvi for tagging me!

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better.

1. Name/Nicknames: Rui

2. Gender: male, or, as I prefer to think of it, мужской (bc it sounds so much fancier in russian)

3. Star Sign: aries, if that means anything

4. Height: 1.75 m, y'all americans will have to do the math on that

5. Time: 10:38 pm atm

6. Birthday: 6 april

7. Favourite Band: st. vincent

8. Favourite Solo Artist: hmm… st. vincent

9. Song Stuck in My Head: a new wave by sleater-kinney

10. Last Movie: i'm not sure… probably Land?

11. Last Show: i'm rewatching *deep sigh* parks and recreation again

12. When I Created This Blog: december 2009 and i got to know the other day that my blog is older than the fucking russian tumblr staff blog yikes

13. What I Post: a little bit of this, a little bit of that… you know

14. Last Thing I Googled: jamie bamber wife

15. Other Blogs: i have a lot of saved urls but i've never done anything with any of them :)

16. Do I get asks?: well, not anymore!!! wake up, ppl!!! hello??

17. Why I Chose My URL: oh easy it was a joke someone commented on an instagram post (?) on a st. vincent pic circa october 2014 and i, like, took it

18. Following: some o' y'all?

19. Followers: all o' y'all

20. Average Hours of Sleep: oh 7–8 hours for sure and i sleep like a motherfucking rock

21. Lucky Number: all numbers are lucky

22. Instruments: lmao this is how I know i need to switch jobs asap bc i read that and my mind went immediately to measuring instruments in engineering and i was like ??? what do you mean?? you've got a lot of nerve throwing that word at my face here… but yeah, no musical instruments, no…

23. What I Am Wearing: jeans and a sweater

24. Dream Job: still trying to figure that one out… i'll have to get back to y'all later on this

25. Dream Trip: i really, really want to Norway

oh, p.s.: but also like a fucking road trip covering 18 US national parks like that would be fucking wild and will probably be what i'll do once i finally decide to quit my job at the end of the pandemic

26. Favourite Food: anything with pasta

27. Nationality: portuguese

28. Favourite Song: that' hmm… asking A Lot

29. Last Book I Read: the little prince, i read it last weekend for the first time

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in: anywhere where i could sit down in peace and eat a sandwich

i'm not tagging anyone but do this if you want! consider yourself tagged by me

[nightowlfandom]

ROUND THREE- PROMPT LIST (REQUEST NOW, READ ALL OF THIS)

 So this is the THIRD installment of my “x reader” prompt list. HOORAY! In light of leaving for so long it’s made me realize that I feel dead inside without writing so, I’m gonna do it again and hopefully this time stay. Also since I don’t eat, breathe, sleep, and shit kpop and actually like some other things too, I feel it’s a good opportunity to share how I’d like various anime characters to fuck me up in more ways what one (wink wonk). I will also say I might only do “character x reader” because I am absolute shit at doing ships. It’s just not my thing and plus I love making peoples personal fantasies come true, it is a big hobby of mine. 

Also if you request a character (assuming you’re asking for an anime request)  that is portrayed as a young teenager, then most likely (scratch that, the word I’m thinking of is “absolutely”) he/she will be written in a universe as a young adult/older than 18 because I’m all about legal consent to doing the fun shit either that...or not at all. (I have to make this big because I cannot stress enough how important this rule is and if you can’t comply, then I have every right to reject your request) Don’t argue with me please.

Rules- You may choose up to 5 prompt numbers if you can’t choose, talk to me and we’ll go through it together because I’m here to capture your horny ass vision. (Example- You wanted to request 3, 4, 12, 45, and 23). Please start with telling me which character you’d like me to write for and give me some insight. (Example- You want a J-hope office AU, then explain the preface like hate to love, secret affair, cute office shit. Or let’s say for example you want something Levi Ackerman related and you talked back to him and he don’t like dat so he “punishes you” ;) ). Get it? Also I take kinder asks more often so keep that in mind, I won’t take your request if you seem rude or whatever.  

Before you ask, yes I do AUs. A lot of my entries are in fact AUs and they are actually my preferred method because who doesn’t love a good AU!!?!! But yeah do not be afraid to ask about AUs

So I usually write for k-pop groups, mostly BTS but I’m broadening my horizon sooo ayye so you can request for Got7, Winner, The Rose, Day6, EXO, if you aren’t sure what other groups I write for you can always ask! 

Anime- Attack on Titan, Black Butler, Fairy Tail, Naruto, BNHA, Kageguri, Tokyo Ghoul, Assassination Classroom, Diabolik Lovers, (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, I freaking love Diabolik Lovers) once again if you aren’t sure, then please ask. These are just examples but I try to reach every aspect.

ANYTHING BY VOLTAGE- Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, Our Two Bedroom Story, Enchanted In The Moonlight, Butler Until Midnight, Scandal In The Spotlight,   PLEASE REQUEST IT BECAUSE AAAAHHHH I LOVE IT. I do not care which game, just tell me which guy from which game and I will make it happen because Voltage Games are a huge part of me. Just tell me which guy from which game.

Now onto the good stuff! (Also please note that some prompts won’t make sense with some characters and the only reason that is is so everyone can find something to attach to who they want) 

So this first part, is going to be what was on the previous prompt, after number 55 will be the new added on stuff just in case any one of my followers recognizes these. 

1- “How miserable must I be before you’re satisfied?”

2- “Guess I’m not cut out for this dating thing, huh?”

3-“Damnit! Do you have any idea how amazing you are?! Stop being so damn insecure”

4- “Don’t argue with me on this!!”

5- “I can’t just be friends with you…I can’t.”

6- “Do you have to be so annoying all the time?”

7- “No, you can not stay here…I don’t care that it’s raining!”

8- “Why can’t you see that I-….that I-”

9- “Stop pretending to be asleep..”

10- “ Could we go four seconds without you being annoying?”

11-“do you not know what the word ‘mine’ means?”

12- “Shhh, wouldn’t want anyone to hear us now would we?”

13- “I dare you to finish that sentence…”

14- “Someone’s a little irritable today…”

15- “We can’t all be a perfect prettyboy popstar!”

16- “You just…you just kissed me!! *Insert freaked out face here*”

17- “We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world.”

18- “Only make that face in front of me.”

19- “If you wanted my attention…all you had to do was ask.”

20- “I’m bored, wanna fuck?”

21- “Can’t you see that I…I…forget it”

22- “…I can’t kiss you the way I want…”

23- “It was foolish of me to think you could ever want a relationship with me…forget it.”

24- “I aim to please…”

25- “When did this topic even come up!”

26- “You’re so boring, haven’t you ever been wild?”

27- “Hm…I like when you do that.”

28- “I’m more than capable of being rough with you babe. You just watch.”

29- “Where the hell did you learn that?!?!”

30-“Well, the boys accidentally…saw that picture you sent…Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

32- “Shh, wouldn’t want the boys to hear us, now would you?”

33-I don’t understand you sometimes…but I like it.“

34- ” Don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose…come here.“

35- ” I’m not so happy about doing a duet with you of all people…but could you at least try and not be a..” ( obviously used for kpop requests but this can be modified so don’t worry :) )

36- “Don’t pretend to care when you obviously don’t.”

37- “Am I making you nervous, Y/N?“

38-“I never thought I would see the day you actually take my advice ”

39- "Just admit you want fuck me…if you behave, I might just let you.”

40- “I…I think you’re wonderful…those horrible people you’ve dated…they didn’t deserve you.”

41- “It’s you and me, not us and them. Fuck what they think.”

42- “Oh my gosh, we didn’t…HOLY SHIT WE DID. You tell anyone and there will be one less idol in the world!” 

43- “You’re so quiet…is something wrong?”

44- “Maybe, if you beg, I might….”

45- “Go to sleep, I promise I’ll wake you up.”

46- “This could be more than just another one night stand…”

47- “It’s amazing what the internet will teach you” *casually holding handcuffs*

48- “…you deserve better, someone who cares about you.”

49- “Can’t I do something nice without being suspicious??”

50- “Finally alone…”

51- “Maybe, we could…be boyfriend and girlfriend.?”

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

53- “Have a nice sleep?”

54- “How stupid do you think I am?”

55- “ Are you shy? Around little ol me?”

... 

 56- “Is this how it’s gonna be between us, just fighting all the time?”

57- “You know after all that, you can still look at me and see something worth loving?”

58- “Avoiding me won’t fix your undying love for me, many have tried but all have failed Y/N.”

59- “Me? Self-centered? No no never!”

60- “You are the complete opposite of subtle and it’s amusing.”

61- “No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is is so hard to believe than someone like me could have feelings for you!”

62- “What did they do to you, I won’t ask again....”

63- “I want...to stay with you for as long as possible. Please...let me?”

64- “Even if I have to rip (your enemy’s name) heart out with me bear hands, I will always protect you.”

65- “What? (innocent face) I’m just massaging your shoulders.”

66- “You’re pretty cute for such a clumsy buffoon. Hmm Maybe I’ll keep you!”

67- “Hm, When you put it that way, it makes me sound like a monster.”

68- “ Oh honey, I treat you like a maid because that’s basically all you are.”

69- “Hmmm...turn your body around. Just like that, I wanna try something.” (You all saw this coming and shame on you if you didn’t)

70- “You want me to name all the reasons I love you?....We’d be here forever.”

71- “Oh baby, you’re terrible at hide and seek....but I’ll play along.”

72- “ Oh look, she finally stands up for herself...hmm. I like this side of you.”

73- “The guy you saw....isn’t me...give me a chance to change your mind.”

74-” What? Why are you crying??!! Oh for fu-”

75- “I bully you because it’s fun....no other reason really.”

76- “Why are you so breathtaking god-damnit!”

77- “I know you’ve never....done anything with anyone before...so I’m gonna make damn sure your first time is special!”

78- “ Call me cliche, but you really do look great in the moonlight.”

79- “ What’s this? A sketchbook? You won’t mind if I take a peek, right?”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

82- “You’re so good at taking orders. I wonder what else you’re good at.”

83- “Okay since when did getting into a fight for your honor become a bad thing?!!?”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

85- “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, I promise!”

86- “ Me? Y-you like me? Y/N, If you’re joking you aren’t really funny y’know.”

87- “That’s pretty bold for something whose only wearing a towel.”

88- “So you didn’t think I’d catch you looking at some other guy right in front of me?!?!’

89- “ Me? A jerk? Hm...I didn’t know you felt that way....I’m-”

90- “Okay stop it already! People are gonna think I’m bullying you if you keep sobbing like that.”

91- “Hm, do you even have friends or is hanging out alone in an empty classroom/room all you do all day?”

92- “How do you expect me to focus when you’re practically begging for me to come over there and show you who you belong to??”

93- “Let’s say...for example...I was the one who left the love letter by your door...what would you say?”

94- “Do you enjoy being bullied by me? Are you a masochist or something?”

95- “ It’s not everyday I let you be in control...enjoy it babe.”

96- “Someone’s been messing with you? Are you gonna tell me who or not?”

97- “Is my heart just some sort of game to you!?!!?”

98- “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face around here after our last....interaction.”

99- “Oh don’t stop because of me, you looked so cute dancing around.”

100- “ I didn’t know...you were so talented. You’re amazing.”

101- “ Please never give up, for me, for us...”

102- “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m hugging you.”

103- “If I can eat your cooking every day, I’ll be happy.”

104- “ What can we say....sharing is caring.” (...best paired with threesome requests but haaaayy can be used for anything else.)

105- “ You need to learn some respect...bend over.”

[smashskate]

Jackie Jett - For @thesimsters-stories​‘s Love Island

“Well damn! I’m Jackie, and I can control the weather!”

Name: Jackie Jett

Age: 26

Location: Del Sol Valley

Occupation: Weather Reporter

Traits: Non-Committal, Ambitious, Outgoing

Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity

Skills:

Charisma: 8

Wisdom: 6

Dancing: 4

Acting: 4

Bio: 

Introducing Jacqueline “Jackie” Jett, the semi-famous Weather Reporter on the Del Sol Valley Network, Channel 7. With hair about as big as her ego, Jackie is known for being loud, proud, and... another word that ends in -oud. Give us a bit to think of one, and we’ll get back to you. 

Jackie grew up in the suburbs of Del Sol Valley, with her parents and two older brothers. She excelled in school, graduating Valedictorian of her class and getting accepted into Foxbury Institute’s Specialized Biology program. It’s safe to say that years of success definitely boosted her opinion of herself, which was struck down a few notches when the job market tightened up as soon as she graduated. Jobs in her field were hard to come by, and Jackie was feeling down on her luck. One day while shopping with her bffs, she was approached by a man who she assumed to be a model scout. It turned out to be Victor Price, one of the producers at DSVN, who offered her a spot as their new weather reporter. With the show’s viewer count draining as online news becomes the new craze, Jackie’s appearance is possibly the only thing holding the studio together at this point, and she knows it.

While Jackie does have some brains on her, her most admirable trait are her wits. She’s real cunning, and knows how to play the game to come out on top. Unlike some of the other applicants, long-term romance isn’t really Jackie’s thing. She’s much more inclined to one night stands and hookups, and anyone who lasts longer gets their number deleted from her phone. Jackie claims to love this lifestyle, much to her cuffed friend’s dismay. While they think she’s crazy for not wanting to get boo’d up, she thinks the idea of being tied down is absolutely sickening. So why would she apply for a show like Love Island, where the only goal is to find true (or true in terms of reality television) love? (Reason number 1 will shock you!)

Questions:

Briefly describe yourself and your life.

“If you insist, LOL! Alright, my name’s Jackie Jett and I’m 26 years old. If I look familiar, it’s probably because you’ve seen me on DSVN, during the 8am time slot, 9 on weekends. Shameless plug, I’m the hottest weather girl in the hottest city in the west! Sure, the job’s a bore at times and I really only got hired for my looks and not my now-useless biology degree, but it pays well and I get a lot of time off to do the things I actually enjoy! I’m not actually as dumb as I come off to our viewers. I’m college educated! Although, it doesn’t really matter much at the moment, so I figured why not have fun where I am now? Also yes, I’m a natural redhead. Anyone that tells you different is a disgusting liar.”

Any Hobbies?

“My hobbies pretty much only consist of me going out and getting drunk. But it’s not that bad! I’ve always been a party girl, since high school even. There’s nothing more fun than going to a nightclub and letting your inhibitions run wild for a few hours! And if I can witness some celeb drama happen live before I hear about it at the studio the next morning, that's always a plus.”

How long have you been single?

“Well, that depends on what you define a relationship as, doesn't it? If you’re talking about any kind of romance, than I’m technically never single. I’m just never with the same person! If you define it as a romantic, long term relationship, then not since freshman year of college. And I’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much. I love to have my options open.”

Why did your last relationship end?

“Again, if we’re talking longer term, he wanted to get more serious and I realized that it just wasn’t what I was looking for. I was 19 and I still wanted to experience so much before getting cuffed. He really didn't take it well, so kinda safe to say I dodged a bullet on that one.”

What are you looking for in a relationship?

“If I had to be in one? I would want the other person to know and respect that I’m not going to be tied down for the rest of time. The whole “open relationship” thing is a standard I like to set with my long term hookups, and I would like that to apply here as well. Also, they should be hot. I’ve been with every type of guy you can think of, but I’ve got standards. I like em sexy, who can blame me? I promise, if I get on the show I’ll try to restrain myself. Keyword try. Also generally don't be a dick. Just because I’ve been with a lot of men doesn't mean I’m less deserving of respect. Any guy that thinks differently goes out the door, sorry not sorry. Oh, did you know that I have Demi Lovato’s phone number? We’re, like, basically besties.”

What are you not looking for in a relationship?

“By this point in the interview I think it’s pretty obvious the one thing I’m super not looking for, LOL! But other than that, I’m open to a lot! Just depends on who’s asking.” *winks* “I’m really not territorial, but if any of the women try to shame me for my lifestyle, I’m not afraid to get my claws out. Women are supposed to support women, I’m not tolerating any bullshit.”

Something else we should know about you?

“Okay, I guess this is where I come clean. Well, to the producers at least. So, basically, for the last few months, our shows ratings and viewership have been dropping. Our analytics team looked into it, and we’re pretty sure it’s because of that Simstagram News update. Instead of watching the actual news, people are going there because it’s quicker and easier to get info. So one day, Victor comes up to me and is all like “I’ve got an idea and I need your help”, which is already fishy because that’s basically code for “I need to use your looks to get the show traction”. So I go into his office and he brings up the Love Island Application. And, like, at first I’m hesitant because I work in showbiz, right? I know how reality tv stars get perceived by the public. But then I realized that if the studio tanks, I’ll no longer have a job, which like, major bummer. So I say yes!

In the end, I’m here to stir up drama and look cute on camera, all as bait for people to come and watch live news. Of course, I get the added benefit of a longer segment on the show, and a boost in Simstagram followers! So it’s really a win-win! Honestly, I probably would have applied anyway, if I had seen the casting call before Victor showed it to me. A bunch of hot guys, hookups, and more drama than a Kardashian-Jenner Simstagram comment section? That’s basically my dream life! And hey, who knows? Maybe I’ll finally get a tan!”

Some fun facts:

Please, make more That 70′s Show references when you meet her. She’s never heard them before. You’re so original, oh my gosh.

She’s allergic to shrimp. Makes for a downer at fancy parties.

She doesn’t tan, just burns. Curse her Irish heritage.

She played volleyball in college. She was pretty good at it, but almost broke her nose, which cause her to quit out of fear of getting a nose job.

She’s definitely a B list celebrity. No, don’t look it up. The internet is full of misinformation. You can’t trust anything.

She watched Mr.Robot and now has tape over her webcam. Sincerest apologies to her FBI agent. He/She’s missing a lot.

She’s a secret drama nerd. She can’t sing for the life of her, but she did the occasional play when she was younger.

Although her brothers know she can make her own decisions, they’re still super protective. They’re like 6ft+ guard dogs that Jackie sicks on any man that harms her.

She's got a tattoo of a ladybug. She won't tell you where, you’ll just have to find out for yourself ;)

Despite her complaining, her and Victor are pretty close. They have that sibling type bond. Only if one sibling was able to fire the other.

[itszephoria]

Saw this pop up and your followers ask you which ones they’re interested in. But people don’t really ask much when I post or they don’t ask the ones that might make you feel uncomfortable. And well, honestly I’m so bored that I’ve decided to break all the damn rules and just answer all the questions because I can. *shock horror*

So information dump on the ‘Be nosy’ that popped up in my feed today. If you’re interested.

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? 

Straight. But maybe for the right woman I could sway but wouldn’t go so far as to call myself bi or bi-curious though.

2. What are you obsessed with right now? 

Obsessively obsessing about my health and how to get well and failing it all. Oh and anime movies on Netflix.

3. Ever done any drugs?

I do drugs everyday. But I assume this is referring to illegal. No and was strictly no up until recently. I now take marijuana oil on a regular basis for pain management. Also being stoned/high is not pleasant and I don’t understand why people would enjoy that as a leisurely pastime.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to get my ears pierced again. Holes have closed up, but currently due to my health that’s not possible. I can’t even enjoy clipons :(

5. How many people have you kissed?

The massive number of 5.

6. Describe your dream home.

It’s tiny in the sense it has all the space I need. A cosy tiny-like home. But not one on wheels, fixed to the ground. And it would be made of all natural materials, stone and wood. It would be unique and resemble something out of a fairy tale. It would sit a beautiful clearing with only nature to view in the distance and all the animals and wildlife would stay well away because I’m pretty much terrified of all it, 

7. Who are you jealous of?

Healthy, painfree people. I am jealous of past me who didn’t realise how lucky she was and miss her.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I don’t binge any show on repeat. I’d rather look for a new show to watch or enjoy, there are so many. The last shows I binged in two days was Queen’s Gambit and Emily in Paris.

9. Do you watch porn?

Yep. But struggle with it because it’s overdramatic, unrealistic and would kill or someone to make porn with a decent storyline with people that can act. 

I prefer to read it if I’m honest or maybe just write it for myself.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Sort of? More like my other one I used I was known for all my slash writings in F1. But now I just hang out here.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

No where. The world is riddled with co-vid and well, I’m probably in one of the safest countries and I’m at risk of death should I catch it. So I’ll stay here in my safe bubble.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I wake up tomorrow and I’m not me. I wake up and I can take a deep breath without gasping for air, I wake up in no pain, I wake up and my body isn’t terribly scared, I wake up and can have a ‘normal’ life.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope and no desire too. Won’t that just hurt?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I’d by that dream house I described, set everything up to be self sufficient. Pay and travel to try every cure available for my diseases. And then bank the rest and live off interest. Or maybe donate it. I don’t want money and I don’t really want a lot of things.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yep and it’s a struggle and am constantly fighting to prove it’s worth continuing. Oh and that’s a relationship with myself.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

No, I suppose it’s more disappointed and let down by people more than angry. I’m working everyday on letting it go but it’s not easy.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I have always wanted one, but have never found something that I really loved and haven’t been imaginative enough to create something unique. The older I get though, I’m not sure I want one. I did for the longest time though think about getting a Ferrari tattooed on my inner wrist, but pleased I never did that. I don’t love the sport or Ferrari enough anymore to want a permanent reminder of that.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I am changing name actually. Hoping to action that in the next two weeks. I would have done it earlier but they closed the borders. I have a dutch sir name that has two words. It confuses every one, systems don’t get it, it has caused issues with plane tickets. And well I’ve decided no more and am dumping a portion of it.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

This is a duplicate. Skipping.

21. Describe your best friend.

When you meet her for the first time she can be a little crazy and wild, and she kind of scared at me first because she’s so unlike me. But as you got to know her, the *real* her she doesn’t let people see, you realise how kind and soft she is, and she’s the most empathic person I have known. She gives so much of herself to everyone, thinks so little of herself and her needs because she’s one of the most selfless people I know. I love her more than most of my family and would do anything for her.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Is this followers? Uh most I don’t know what they look like? I assume they’re all hot!

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Don’t have any really. My music is varied and is based on my mood and really changes around. And with most bands, I generally lean towards one or two songs. This is one of those questions I really struggle with whenever I see it. Will say however, have been enjoying The Beatles recently and a bit of old school stuff.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan. Norway. Canada.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Generally hanging out with people I like. Enjoying a good wine, some cheese, either playing some board game or dungeons and dragons, or watching a really good movie. Good company makes any night a good night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn. One because I think it’s neglected as a choice and every season should be loved, and two because I love the colours of autumn and the colours associated with autumn. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’m sure I have a heap of them, but currently it’s people that have an issue with you and instead of being an adult and talking to you about them choose to silence and blank you. I’m so tired of it, I’ve quit being peacemaker in those situations, those people are no longer worthy in my book.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Uh... I don’t think anyone I know is super funny. Friends and family all have a good sense of humor. But out of my circle of life people I’m always told I’m the funny one, which I find the biggest joke ever. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Can not think of anything off the top of my head. I will say if I think a movie is getting too much hype I refuse to watch it, whether all the reviews are raving or not. It’s why I didn’t watch Harry Potter for like ten years or any of the new Star Wars movies. I just refuse to be apart of all the hype and jump on bandwagons.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

I’d love to talk to everyone. I’m shy to start any conversations to be honest and I think all the people I talk to regularly were the first to message me, and I love them for it.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

100% love an old fashioned paper book. The texture of the paper. The smell of a book. That being said, I don’t think I’ve picked up a proper book to read in years. I live in fan fiction more than anything or am busy writing myself.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Any of the disney worlds, anything from the past, or verging on fantasy like. I want a simpler time not full of technology which I grow to hate more each day. The older I get the more I’m pretty sure I’ve been born in the wrong decade.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I’d build the perfect wardrobe capsule. Everything would be of high quality, not necessarily brand name and all the clothes would be sourced from ethical businesses or be handmade.

I like classic pieces, love the fashion of the 50′s and 60s and while stylish it would be comfortable to wear and everything could be worn in public (sorry comfy tracky pants).

34. What’s your coffee order?

There ain’t no coffee order. I don’t drink it. Sorry @leoni-speedyf1 I know how addicted you are to it, happy to buy you anything you like though :P

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

In real life? No one.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Not romantic. I have feelings in that I hope they’re doing well, achieving what they want and they’re all happy. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ breakups and all my relationships ended very amicably.

37. Have any tattoos?

No. See above for more on this.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. Can’t with medication and condition. But on occasion I do enjoy a good glass of red. Pinot Noir is my preference. 

39. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not in a romantic way? The ones I talk to regularly I love immensely though.

41. How many followers do you have?

99

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Uh all the men I know I am not attracted to. Probably a good thing as they’re either family or partnered with a friend or family member.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Can’t think of anything. I try not to feel guilt for anything I enjoy to be honest, whether it’s food or an activity. Life is too short for that.

44. Do you read erotica?

Yep. Even write it.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a few years back. I met this guy online and we went to the city and spent most of that time just strolling next to the river for our first meet up. Why was it the worst date ever? Well it wasn’t the location that’s for sure.

The guy had two kids, and I’m a firm believer all parents have favourites, though I have yet to meet a parent that will voice that aloud. This guy, had no qualms with telling me about this favourite kid, and that wouldn’t be a problem if didn’t spend just as much putting down his younger son. It kind of left me reeling and wondering how his son felt if his dad didn’t hide just how much he didn’t like him as a person. The kid was four and the reason his dad didn’t like him was because he didn’t like bikes.

And so the guy was a bmx rider so he spent the rest of the time on our walk just pointing out all the tricks he could do. He didn’t ask about me, only talked about himself. It was also lunch time and assumed we would get something to eat together, but nope, no food was offered. And when I suggested to get something to drink because it was so hot and we’d been out in the sun for like an hour, he just took me to a subway and told me to get a drink and waved me to the line. No offer to join me, no offer to pay (which doesn’t bother me btw, but this was capping off a terrible day), no offer to get food.

I was so happy to get out of there. Didn’t speak to him again once I had left.

46. How many people do you follow?

I currently follow 59 people. I don’t follow anyone that creates drama, and try and follow only people that post about F1 as that’s all I use tumblr for now.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Either Sebastian Vettel or Ryan Reynolds. Both are married though, so I don’t think that’s going to turn into a reality anytime soon.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I want someone that shares the same core values as me. Doesn’t want kids, isn’t super religious (grew up in a cult like religion so I avoid it now), is on the minimalist side and isn’t someone that needs new things things all the time or is desperate to replace something the moment they deem it out of date. Someone that doesn’t live their life on social media. Someone that prefers simple things, someone who is kind and giving, and someone that truly loves me - and it’s the last part that I struggle with finding more than anything with all the guys I have dated. 

I am currently not looking for a partner, I am not in a place for a relationship and am fully focused on myself. And I am very content with that decision.

49. Who do you text the most?

Currently my bestie.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Clear blue skies and a warm day to enjoy the sun. But there are times when I simply love the rain, hearing it on the room, watching it fall endlessly and knowing that everything will be green from it.

[rafespeaks]

Pokémon Sword and Shield, From the Eyes of a Veteran (Critique)

I want to preface this by saying I have been playing Pokemon since before I can remember. It has been a staple of my childhood since day one and is an incredibly important franchise to me. I have nothing but love for it, and I wish the franchise success and a long life far into the future. That being said... I have some big issues with this latest generation. Big enough that I’m writing out my thoughts for everyone to see for the first time.

As a note, I am not a competitive player, nor do I think I ever will be. I don’t have the patience or technical mind to focus on all the finite mechanics and breed the statistical ‘very-best’ Pokemon out there. As such, I will not be focusing on those aspects (or at least not nearly as heavily as others might).

Now, let’s begin.

As a starting point, let’s start where Nintendo always does when introducing a new region and generation

The Pokémon

Every new generation of Pokemon comes with brand-new creatures for everyone to love. However, some generations just have... more than others. The original games had 151 Pokemon total to catch, collect, and love. And from there, more were added. Here’s the count:

Johto: 100 Hoenn: 135 Sinnoh: 107 Unova: 156 Kalos: 72 Alola: 88 Galar: 81

This is not accounting for the new Pokemon introduced in Galar’s DLC, as that has yet to come out, or old Pokemon that were given a Mega Evolution or regional variant. Kalos added 30 Mega Evolutions, plus an additional 20 from ORAS. Alola added 18 regional variants, and Galar added 13 of their own (not counting the DLC Slowpoke) plus 24 Gigantimax forms (25 if you count Flapple & Appletun as separate, and 26 with Melmetal).

Numbers-wise, Galar did... okay. Not great. But okay. It still passed up Kalos, at the very least, which was a huge point of contention among fans when gen 6 came out. However, if I had to sum up my feelings towards the new Pokemon I could do it easily with one phrase: they’re very ‘hit-or-miss’. And while new Pokemon that I don’t care for tend to grow on me over time, there’s just one problem with that. They can’t grow on me if I don’t ever see them.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with old Pokemon being in the new games. In fact that’s something I love! But when you want the players to connect with the new being introduced, you have to give them a chance to do so.

This was the first region in what felt like ages where I went in without a plan of what I wanted on my team. Typically, I go with a simple, easy-to-follow formula. Grass, Fire, and Water take up three slots. Add in a Flying-type, as Water and Flying were highly important for transportation in earlier games. And for coverage, the last two spots go to Electric and Ground or Rock. Anything else, I try to cover for with getting as many dual-types as possible. Simple. Effective. Tried and true.

However, after choosing Scorbunny as my starter, I encountered a problem. There are only two Grass-types to choose from, and neither are particularly good for my strategy. Eldegoss, which I ended up going with, is a pure Grass-type and can ONLY learn Grass-type damaging attacks, unless you want to track down the single Bug-type TR it can learn, or use one of the few compatible Normal-type TMs/TRs.

The second Grass-type is Applin. And while both evolutions have better type coverage, there are still problems. One, Applin on its own is pretty bad. The only moves it knows when caught fresh from the wild are Withdraw and Astonish. While that isn’t too horrible in and of itself, the fact that its evolutionary item can only be obtained near the end of the game makes it a horrible choice. Since I was about to take on Nessa and had no access to this item, I was forced to either choose Eldegoss or something from a previous generation. And since I was trying to use all-new Pokemon, Eldegoss it was. (Though on the upside, I realized it had plenty of potential to be a competitive wall.) Now, if you are intent on getting a Flapple or Appletun, you can persevere and evolve one. Now you have your grass dragon! Great! Except... its level-up moveset is pretty bad to begin with... You will have to dedicate a lot of time to training or hunting down TMs and TRs to make up for this seemingly MASSIVE oversight.

This is just one example, of course. And while coverage isn’t particularly BAD considering all the old Pokemon included, it could be much better.

Continuing on from this topic is another that has had a lot of fans, including me, up in arms.

The Pokédex

Dexit.

Nearly 900 Pokemon, cut SEVERELY down to 400. It’s unprecedented. It’s unfair to the fans of cut Pokemon, completionists, and old players waiting on transferring all their partners from previous games. Frankly, it sucks. And I think every Pokemon fan can agree, no matter the reason.

While some similar things to this have happened before, it has never been this bad. Unova did it right - the only Pokemon available to the player through the main story of Black and White were the newly introduced ones. After defeating the Elite Four, finishing the game, and the credits are done rolling however, all previous Pokemon were welcome in the region once more. Alola didn’t exclude any older Pokemon, but for the first time in any Pokemon game, we did not get a National ‘Dex. Even so, the Pokemon unavailable natively in Alola were still transferable and usable in the new generation. And while it was a bit disappointing not to get any new entries for some old favorites, it was understandable. Coming up with new world lore is hard work!

Nintendo said that all these Pokemon were cut due to time constraints and limitations with the memory. Unfortunately, these are issues that could be fixed easily, which just... weren’t. Sword and Shield could have gone the same route that Zelda: Breath of the Wild did and simply extended production time. As Shigeru Miyamoto once said, “A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.” And it shows in Sword and Shield in so many ways.

The memory limitations is, honestly, just a bad lie in my personal opinion. This opinion is only proven to me by the DLC reintroducing over 200 Pokemon from prior games. It’s not that Nintendo couldn’t - it’s that they didn’t give themselves the time. I had hoped for free updates in the future to remedy this, and that’s what’s happening. But not in a good way. (They also cut a plethora of Pokemon moves, which was also heavily disappointing, but the loss there couldn’t be felt nearly as much as over half of the total Pokemon being straight-up unavailable. Every one of those is someone’s favorite!)

Even if the memory WAS an issue, there are so many things that were, ultimately, unnecessary to me that they could have done without. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Dexit aside, there’s another issue that needs to be addressed with the Pokedex that I’ve touched on already - distribution of Pokemon. There’s just... way too many, way too fast, and not enough of the new Galar Pokemon to go around. I am a Player who takes the famous tagline ‘gotta catch ‘em all’ fairly seriously. As I progress through the game, I am always compelled to search for every Pokemon on a route and catch, at the very least, the basic form of that Pokemon. While I haven’t managed to complete the Pokedex on my own or build a Living ‘Dex yet, those are both major goals I have.

However, shortly after first stepping into the Wild Area, I was overwhelmed. Too many Pokemon were coming my way, with too many variations in weather meaning it would take ages to catch all the Pokemon available to me in a route before moving forward in the story. While the Wild Area is a marvel, fun to explore, and an amazing way to experience Pokemon, it’s all just too much to throw at you in one huge chunk. Plus, there’s one very annoying, very artificial limitation that just feels completely out of place in a game that traditionally has had nothing quite like this. The Pokemon-catching level cap.

Now, level caps have been talked about among fans of the series, especially those that would like a sort of ‘hard mode’. This is not what they were talking about. Level caps have been used in previous games to prevent a player from transferring or trading overpowered Pokemon to the game and breezing through it as fast as possible. If you don’t have enough badges, the Pokemon will not listen to you, and you’ll be out of luck until you progress. Fans have suggested extending this level cap to all Pokemon, so that potentially even your starter will refuse to listen once it’s too strong. Personally, I wouldn’t enjoy such a change. But that’s why it’s only really suggested for a hard mode.

The way this level cap was implemented, however, was just... bad... I understand why it was done, but it can be put into practice SO much easier with one simple fix - utilizing Routes like previous generations did and closing off the higher-level areas to the player until they have progressed appropriately.

And that brings me to my next talking point.

Routes VS the Wild Area

Pokemon routes have always been included in every game, from the very beginning. They are the segue between towns, holding new Pokemon for you to battle and catch, the majority of free items to be found across the world, and a good few trainers to pit your team against once you’ve gotten past the first little chunk of story. To put it simply, routes are necessary. Without them, all the different towns would be one huge city, and specifically in Sword and Shield, there would be nowhere but the Wild Area to catch Pokemon.

That being said, the routes throughout Galar are... pretty tiny. I’d even say pitiful. What’s more, it seems that most of them have a short, straight path forward that discourages exploration and bettering yourself through battles with wild Pokemon and trainers. Sure, there’s the occasional arbitrary blockade that will force you to take the long way around, but once that’s done with, there’s nothing else to keep your interest. Glimwood Tangle in particular made me realize how far back they cut the routes. There was so much potential to make a sprawling forest out of it, and they just... didn’t. It was tiny. I wanted more, but they left it lacking in so much.

There’s an easy solution to this - making the Routes into mini Wild Areas. And, to accommodate all these huge routes, CUT BACK THE WILD AREA. Trust me - it needs to be smaller. This fixes the Pokemon distribution, the level cap issues, and the tiny routes all in one fell swoop. Instead of having one massive area with a bunch of sub-areas, have each route be bigger, with two to three sub-areas. The balance will make it much more impressive in the long run.

Speaking of balance, let’s talk about how this affected the pacing of the game. Even when I was taking my time, it felt like I was always rushing, rushing, rushing on to the next town.  Not to mention, there are far too many options in the story to let you skip over backtracking through a route you’ve already been through. I’ve just finished taking on Milo. I blink. I’m standing in the Pokemon center the next town over, prepping for Nessa’s gym. I just defeated Bea. I blink. Now I’m about to take on Opal. The only time I got a little time to breathe was when I had to travel through the Wild Area to get to the next town. And then it was all just so expansive that I... didn’t want to go back to the story. There were items everywhere. There were Pokemon to catch. I wasn’t done here - I had to explore. I had to find everything. Do all I could. Because that’s what you do in a route, right? You explore and find all the goodies to help you on your journey. So what comes after...?

The Towns

While the towns are gorgeous and each have their own charm, they all feel... almost empty.

Compare to previous games, and it’s obvious to see. Many buildings don’t allow you to go inside and explore. There is a distinct lack of NPCs. And the ‘big’ cities are decidedly small as a result.

Just take a look at Castelia City and Lumiose City. Both are huge, compared to the rest of the locations in the games. They have many buildings, many NPCs to fill them... People needed a map to avoid getting lost in Lumiose! Even in cities that are smaller scale-wise, such as in Alola, they never feel empty. There are plenty of places to go, people to talk to, and things to explore or interact with. You find new things all the time.

Meanwhile in Galar, the only things that seem to give the towns any purpose are the Pokemon gyms. And that is a massive shame. Especially when in prior games, there have been places I will make my way to, just to sit there and take in every little detail of the location, or where I’ll talk to every NPC and soak up all the lore. I go back to murals and statues and unique buildings. I go back to puzzles and the homes of legendary Pokemon. I go back to enjoy the things I’ve seen in a new light and reminisce about my journey. But in Galar... there seems to be very little to reminisce about.

The Story

This is the biggest disappointment for me. If all the rest of the game were awful, as long as the story is good, I can overlook it. As long as the story is good, I can enjoy any game. 

This story was not good.

As far as Pokemon stories go, they aren’t all complex, nuanced narratives. In the first games, you fight Team Rocket, who are just in it for the money. In Johto, it’s the same thing, with the addition of a rival that has a touching change of heart in the end. Things get a bit bigger in Hoenn, where the world-ending plots officially start in the form of weather crises caused by Team Aqua and Team Magma. In Sinnoh, the entire universe is threatened when Team Galactic aims to remake the world in their image. In Unova, the morals of you and the rest of the Pokemon world are called into question by PETA-- I mean Team Plasma. In Kalos... rich people want to kill the unworthy poor...? Yeah, I didn’t really get that story much either. And in Alola, you deal with alternate dimension aliens running amok. Safe to say things got quite a bit bigger as time went on.

Now we’re in Galar. Something’s going to happen. Something always happens. But when? How?

We get hints about the Darkest Day. Dynamaxing is still very new and not much is known about it. Sonia is looking into the legendary hero(s) that stopped the Darkest Day. But where’s the evil team? What’s their motivation? Where’s the action? The buildup?? Bede mentions he’s collecting Wishing Stars. Why??? We get to Hammerlocke and learn that the Wishing Stars are for the Chairman. But again, why? He mentions a problem has been bothering Rose concerning all Galar, but it’s such a brief moment that it’s easily dismissed. Where’s the action, or the stakes? Nothing has happened yet except we’re being pushed through the gym challenge as fast as possible.

Fourth gym. No sign of any real trouble yet. Except that jerk Bede just vandalized an ancient mural, just because... he wanted to? Yeah, he’s trying to find Wishing Stars, but literally NO ONE told him to make a spectacle of himself and ruin a piece of history in the process. We’re getting more hints about the past and Galar’s history, but nothing solid on what we’re supposed to be doing. Besides the gyms. EVERYTHING is about the gyms... Oh, and apparently Oleana is the one who asked Bede to collect Wishing Stars. Whatever. What does that have to do with anything?

Five gyms in now, and... Ka-BOOM!

FINALLY!!! Some ACTION!!! Something’s happening at the Power Plant, and Sonia’s detecting a Power Spot! Alright, let’s go! I’m finally going to be able to DO something! I’ll finally be able to see what’s going on and--

“You should leave the investigation on the quaking to the adults. Head to Circhester and get that Gym Badge!”

... What... No! No, I refuse! There must be something to see, even if it’s just Sonia, Leon, and the Chairman standing around after things have already been sorted out. I can talk to them and get a little dialogue on what’s going on! Except they aren’t anywhere to be found. No one around the gym, no one by the Power Plant door, nothing.

Sixth gym. More lore. Seventh gym. Heading out towards Raihan and BOOM! Trouble on Route 9! Leon’s here! NPC says I should go help! Heck yes, I will! It’s about time I got some action out here, it’s almost the end of the game!

Run outside, there’s Leon! And... he dismisses you. Again. Says ‘nope, I’ve got this, gym gym gym, see you!’

No way am I taking that laying down. I’m right on his heels - I should at least be able to see him battling or something, right? But no. In the seconds it takes to run after him, Leon has beaten the threat, he’s gone, and now Hop is waving a news article about the debacle in your face, complete with picture! How the hell did all that happen so fast?! It takes time to write something like that up, never mind the time it must have taken to battle the Dynamaxed Pokemon that Leon faced!

The game is almost over, and what little action you could have seen has been blocked from you because you are a child. And I understand, from a moral perspective, that this is what any sane adult would say to a child. But from a story perspective it is a horribly bad writing choice. It gives you a little taste of the story, a tiny hint at what’s going on, and yanks any real explanation away from you until the very end, where you’re floored by everything happening all at once. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Finally, Professor Magnolia mentions that the issue the Chairman is worried about is the future of Galar’s energy. But... why? We have seen no hints of a problem with that throughout the entire game. No mention of shortages. Nothing about global warming or sustainability. It seems there’s exactly zero reason for anyone to worry, much less turn this into a huge issue that needs to be addressed. It’s one thing if a crisis is there and people are ignoring it. It’s another matter entirely if there is no crisis whatsoever to be seen, even if you look for it. And even if there was any sort of issue, Leon once again tells you to do nothing. Nothing at all. 

Eighth gym. On to the Championships. Blah blah, tiny snow route, nothing even remotely close to a Victory Road... In Wyndon now. Still bubcus about an evil team or anything that you can actually DO something about. The Semifinals happen. Leon goes missing.

Suddenly, you’re thrown into a situation you know nothing about to save this miserable dope. And when you get to him... he doesn’t even need any saving! He’s just having a pleasant chat with this jerk! Drag his butt out of there, then the Finals happen. Now you’re gearing up to face Leon himself. Only to be stopped by Rose SUMMONING ARMAGEDDON TO SOLVE A NONEXISTENT ENERGY CRISIS HE SEEMINGLY MADE UP.........

It makes no sense whatsoever. And unlike in Unova, where the interruption to your Elite Four challenge made sense, these TWO interruptions did not. Leon even promised to help Rose after he finished his Championship match against you! Why couldn’t Rose wait a single day? Or even a few hours? ... I digress.

Anyway, Rose awakens Eternatus, who is the source of Dynamax energy. (Necrozma & Totem Pokemon vibes much?) Leon goes up to capture it, just as Rose planned, and gets his butt kicked, not as planned. Meanwhile, the player and Hop made themselves useful for once, went to find the Sword and Shield from legend, and used them to call Zacian and Zamazenta. Together, all four of you defeat Eternatus! Yaaay for yooouuu!!!

...

Oh. And you finally have that Championship battle. Get that win squared away. Finally, but also way too soon, the credits role.

Perhaps I may have been a bit harsh about the story. But with very little to make up for it, I feel justified in everything I’ve said here. But I’m still not done. After all, a story can’t have no one helping the protagonist along. Or hindering them. Severely.

The Characters

Unfortunately, many of the characters were just as bad as the story. However, for the most part, it doesn’t entirely seem like their fault. There just wasn’t enough time spent on them, or the writers handled them poorly.

Let’s start from the beginning.

Hop

He’s a friendly rival. Okay, I can get behind that. But he’s also very self-absorbed throughout the entire story. Why are you even friends with him? He doesn’t once talk to you about anything other than how he’s going to be the next Champion. He cheers you on occasionally, but it’s always overshadowed by him harping on the same things over and over again - his brother is The Best and he will defeat him to become The New Best.

Many people say Hop is very much like Hau. I say that’s an insult to Hau. Hau is a laid-back free spirit who’s only goal starting out is to have fun with his Pokemon. He supports you and gives you items along the way because that’s just his nature. He’s a true friend. And when things get a bit tougher, he realizes he needs to step up and take things seriously if he wants to protect the ones he cares about. So he does.

In my opinion, Hop is more like Green in his approach to you, except a bit more friendly. In fact... I’d say he’s MOST like the Diamond/Pearl/Platinum rival, Barry. They’re both braggarts, self-absorbed, and constantly, casually putting you down even though you’re clearly better than them. Long story short, Hop is infinitely annoying like Barry is annoying. I was shocked at myself for how eager I was to beat Hop evey time, and how uncaring I was when Bede crushed his spirit. Hop’s mopiness and woe-is-me attitude felt very forced, especially since he was always smiling and still constantly talked about how he was going to beat you and Leon both.

Not to mention how his story ultimately ended... But I’ll get to that a little later.

Leon

For as annoying as Hop is, Leon is ten times worse. I can see where Hop got all those self-absorbed tendencies. He strikes a dumb pose every five seconds, goes on about how great and undefeated he is, constantly basks in the attention of his fans... Not an ounce of humility or humbleness in this man. Not to mention, he pretty much abandoned Sonia during their journey together. I couldn’t wait to ruin his whole career. But if there’s one positive thing I can say about him, it’s that his team is legitimately tough. Mostly that demon Charizard.

Sonia

She’s nice enough, and it’s pretty neat to see her on her journey to becoming a full-fledged Professor. But her progression to that ultimate payoff seems pretty rushed, probably because the rest of the story is rushed. Also, she consults with you about many of the legends she digs up, and the dialogue choices ultimately mean YOU are drawing the conclusions while SHE just agrees with them. By all rights, I should be the Professor in this game! 

Marnie

Honestly, I don’t have a strong reaction about Marnie either way. She just seems a bit subdued, we don’t see her very much, and there’s no real character arc that we get to see her go through. She’s the same as when we first saw her, only now she knows she’s not going to be the Champion, because you are. 

Bede

He’s a little jerk. And honestly? I love little jerks. But only if they’re done right.

Green was a jerk rival that was done right. He didn’t see the error of his ways throughout the entire game. However, come the Johto arc, he is now a gym leader, realizes he was treating his Pokemon poorly, and it’s implied he regrets his harshness towards Red.

Silver was another done right. He was a jerk from the very start, and a thief to boot. He hated you, and Team Rocket, and... all the world really. But as the game progressed, he came to realize that he needed to be kind. And by the end of the game, he has a Crobat. While his abrasive personality is still there, he respects you, and realizes you were right.

Bede, on the other hand, was pushed through the plot. First, he was working his hardest for the sake of the Chairman. Then when he was forsaken, hurt, and lost for a purpose... he wasn’t allowed to find his way himself. Instead, Opal snatched him away and demanded that he become the next Fairy-type gym leader. She even went so far as to force him to change his type preference! What happened to Gothorita and Duosion?! (Don’t get me wrong, I love Opal as a character. She’s probably my favorite out of everyone. But still...)

Bede should have come into his own by his own choice. And since he didn’t, the change seems like it... wasn’t a change at all. He’s still harsh towards you and others, and the respect he says he has for you seems insincere.

Piers

Unlike the rest of the gym leaders, Piers takes a slightly more active role in the plot once the ball FINALLY gets rolling. So I figured I’d talk about him, too. Piers seems... a lot like Nanu. Like A LOT. And that doesn’t really seem to fit with his rocker look or job. He just seems depressed and like he doesn’t want to be here. At least he’s a fairly responsible brother, always making sure Marnie is safe. I never did get past that hair though... Never liked it. But I seem to be in the minority there.

Oleana

She’s just... She seems like a Rose-obsessed Lusamine, instead of Ultra Beast-obsessed. Except her manipulation of children is more subtle. Honestly, I can see her being a formidable villain, and actually a much bigger threat than Rose. If only she was given the opportunity to actually DO more things through the game.

Chairman Rose

Rose is... Well, he doesn’t feel like a villain, if that makes any sense? He’s too placid. Mild. Calm. There’s no anger or any kind of intense emotion. Even when he’s disappointed in Bede, I don’t really... believe it. It’s like he ordered an ice cream and realized it doesn’t come with sprinkles. “Oh. That’s very slightly disappointing. But it’s still ice cream so it doesn’t really matter. It’s fine.” Even if you want to do a villain without strong emotions, there are other ways to do it.

Cyrus, jokingly referred to as having depression by the Pokemon fanbase, is a big example of this. He is very non-expressive, with a flat, almost scary look. He always talks analytically, and philosophically. He even openly scorns emotions. But when he does finally get a bit more heated and unhinged towards the end of the game, it’s a serious business. He feels dangerous.

Rose, on the other hand... doesn’t. He has all this supposed passion for Galar and its future. So much so that he’s willing to risk putting people and Pokemon in imminent danger to fix this energy crisis he seems to have made up... So then where is that passion? Where is his anger and frustration towards Leon? Where is his desperation?

It seems to me that the only energy deficit in Galar is in Rose’s behavior.

We’ve covered a lot now, but still not everything. My main gripes are over, but like every Pokemon game, there’s just a bit more.

The Post-Game

Now the main plot is over, and you’re free to do as you please all across the region. Train up your Pokemon and catch newly available ones, explore places you didn’t go deeper in during the story, get a little extra tidbit of story sometimes... And to its credit, this game did deliver a decent post-game story to follow.

You saved the region. You met the legendary Pokemon. Now you have the Master Ball and it’s implied you can go off and get your featured legendary doggo. Fantastic! But once you make your way into the Slumbering Weald... these guys show up. Oh, and Hop is there moping. And Sonia shows up too, for some reason.

But these guys... These guys were arrogant little jerks from the beginning. And it makes sense once you learn they’re a part of Galar’s royal family - the descendants of the people who supposedly stopped the Darkest Day from happening and saved the region. Of course, now everyone knows that’s not true, and they’re pissed about what this means for them. Their family isn’t anything special. They aren’t anything special. Their status and positions have been taken away and given to Pokemon! It’s insulting to them! (Though they still have a loyal following.)

So what do they do? Pumping Zacian & Zamazenta full of Dynamax energy and causing them to wreak havoc will absolutely turn the people of Galar against them! And the cost? Eh, they don’t much care. As long as the legendary Pokemon look bad and they’re able to retain their status.

Of course, their plan backfires, and in true benevolent legendary fashion, the one legendary they do manage to overload with power does its absolute best to avoid hurting anyone. It’s a touching little story to go on. And what’s more? It actually makes sense! In fact, I would have greatly preferred this story as the main one focused on, rather than the hot garbage we got with Chairman Rose! My only gripe regarding the new story is how ridiculous these two princes are... Really Gamefreak? Swordward and Shieldbert? And that hair?? Do you have no subtlety anymore?

But as for wrapping up the old story... things still fall a bit flat. After the legendaries are calm again and you have your version’s pup, you go after Hop. And he is accepted by the other legendary in the duo. Considering everything he went through to try and get the sword/shield back just now, as well as his concern for and efforts to calm down the legendary, it’s understandable. He’s proven himself in their eyes. But then... he goes and decides to become Sonia’s assistant and work towards being a professor.

How did that happen? Why did it happen? There was no buildup in the slightest before this decision, and it seems very out of character for someone like Hop. He’s not technically minded. While he takes a mild interest in the legends of his home region (who wouldn’t when they’re that fun?), he doesn’t seem interested in doing any actual research. And now that he actually owns a legendary Pokemon, you would expect him to double down on his rivalry with you or at least aspire to do something more... heroic? Exciting? Why would a legendary Pokemon want to hang around when you’re not going to be utilizing them at all?

This extra little story is over very fast. Not only that, but everything you do pertaining to the story is done without having to struggle through a route or many other additional challenges. (Hey, a lot like the main story. Lack of travel/drawn-out struggle leads to pacing issues.)

Additionally, there are no new places to explore after the main story. Which really, REALLY sucks. Every Pokemon game has had more to see afterwards. Kanto had Cerulean Cave. Johto had an entire additional region, plus Mt Silver. Hoenn had lots of legendary Pokemon homes open up to you, plus the Battle Frontier in Emerald. Sinnoh had the entire Battle Zone. Unova had several towns and routes blocked off. Kalos had it’s own last town as well as a couple places you could go for legendaries, like Mewtwo. And Alola had an entire half of Poni Island. Galar has... nothing... Everywhere you can go in Galar, you will have access to before the Championship battle with Leon is over. And that’s a crying shame. They seem to be trying to remedy this with the DLC coming out, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. I’ll get into that later. First, there still something else I want to talk about...

Dynamaxing and Gigantimaxing

I get why this exists. I really do. Every single region has something that shakes up the way battles are done. Whether it’s more technical, statistic-based changes or something much more obvious. Hold items, double battles, tag battles, triple and rotation battles, Mega Evolving, Z moves, blah blah blah. We all know about that stuff, right? Each of the newer regions has some gimmick to go along with it. This is the Galar version. But unfortunately... when they implemented this change, they decided to get rid of the much-beloved Mega Evolutions entirely.

Now I could understand why they would do this with Z-moves. Dynamaxing is essentially the same thing, with the addition of more HP and the flashy, massive size of Pokemon to go along with it. Though it is disappointing, it’s not really a net loss.

But Mega Evolutions on the other hand... Those were something special.

Mega Evolution could have, potentially, coexisted with Dynamaxing. All it is is making the Pokemon bigger after all, right? A bigger Mega Evolution is doable.

But then the Gigantimax Pokemon come in... and thing start to make less sense. Basically, they made more Mega Evolutions, but named them something different. Why couldn’t they simply be more Megas? People LOVE Mega Evolution Pokemon! No one would have been mad at this! Except the people who, rightfully, say Charizard gets far too much attention. Three Mega Evolutions is a bit much.

But even then, if you’re so insistent on Gigantimax Pokemon being a separate beast entirely, then there’s STILL a way you can make Mega Evolution work in tandem with the new system.

Simply make Gigantimaxed Pokemon a Dynamaxed form of a Mega Evolution.

Okay, I know that was a mouthful and possible hard to wrap your head around, but imagine with me: You’re in a battle. You Mega Evolve your Pokemon. It’s stronger now. But you’re also in the position where you can Dynamax. You do so, and... instead of getting a bigger Mega, your Pokemon changes form a second time. So for example, let’s say you have a Charizard. Mega Evolve it. It is now a Charizard X/Y. Now Dynamax it. It is now the unholy lava abomination you see when you battle Leon. If you had not Mega Evolved beforehand, then it would have grown into a normal, everyday Charizard, But Bigger. 

This also takes away a completely arbitrary restriction - that not every Pokemon of a species can Gigantimax. I’m sure everyone knows by now, but let’s go over it again.

You have an Alcremie. You raised it from a Milcery, evolved it with your favorite Sweet, into your favorite flavor, whatever. Maybe it’s one of the strongest contributors to your team. But when you Dynamax it, it does nothing but get bigger. Then you see Opal’s Alcremie and wonder - how can I get my baby to do that? Is there a special item it needs to hold, or some other requirement?

Nope. Your Alcremie just isn’t good enough. It will never Gigantimax, because it was never capable of doing so in the first place.

With Mega Evolution, there is no limitation. You simply need to give your Pokemon the matching Mega Stone for its species and it can Mega Evolve, simple as that. you don’t need to find that certain special creature, when you already have a perfectly good teammate you’re attached to.

What’s more, Mega Evolution could be performed any time, anywhere, in any battle. Dynamaxing and Gigantimaxing is extremely limited to the Power Spots. Keeping Mega Evolution in would have lessened the disappointment of not being able to use the new mechanic casually. This was something that was heavily advertised when the game was first released, and to find out it’s so limited... I think it left a bad taste in a lot of fans’ mouths.

The DLC

Now... on to this... I’ve touched on this before, and I’m sure everyone can tell.

I am not happy.

First, the financial aspect. If you are going to charge $30 for a two-part expansion, make it apply to both game versions. This may not mean much to casual players, since they likely bought only one copy of the game. But to people who bought both, or share the two copies with family, this is a massive slap in the face. You would have to pay double, for the same content, so both versions are updated. That is a low, low blow.

Now, the Pokemon. I’m glad they are introducing new Pokemon (most of which seem to be Galarian forms or new Gigantimax forms), but there seems to be little reason why they held off releasing them in the first place. Legendaries, I understand. Others, not so much. And the over-two-hundred Pokemon that are being reintroduced isn’t something that should get a pat on the back. They’re fixing their own mistake. They shot themselves in the foot and now they’re trying to say “Oh look! We’re improving things! This bloody hole is going to be healed now! How great are we?” The only saving grace to this for me is that the Pokemon being reintroduced will be available to everyone (to transfer or trade over) via the free update mentioned before. And even then, there are still Pokemon missing!

The new areas now. While we have seen snippets by now, there has been nothing really definitive to go on. These new areas will be in the style of the Wild Area - that much has been made clear. But that makes me exceedingly nervous. Will they be empty, devoid of NPCs? What will there be to do? Just how big are these areas? If they are, in fact, exactly like the Wild Area... I am going to be deeply disappointed. Aside from battling/catching wild Pokemon and gathering items, there is very, very little to do in the existing Wild Area. But at the same time, if the area the DLC gives us is too small, everything will feel sparse and rushed, just like the story of the game.

Speaking of story, we aren’t really given anything meaningful about the DLC’s story, either. We were vaguely told that the two separate locations will be focused on the themes of ‘Growth’ and ‘Exploration’, and we were introduced to a small handful of characters that will be central to the story, but that’s about it. You’re training in the Isle of Armor, and you’ve been enlisted to explore the Crown Tundra. That’s all we know. Literally anything could happen. And that, again, makes me very nervous.

Gamefreak have said these DLC are supposed to take the place of the story changes a third game would make. But in this instance, I seriously believe Sword and Shield would have benefited from a second pass. Much like Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon had the “Good Ending” over Sun and Moon, I think a follow-up game could have amended a lot of the issues I’ve laid out. Though I couldn’t say if Gamefreak would have actually committed...

The biggest thing to me here is that... this is not necessary. At all. I feel as though these new locations, as well as the new stories, should have been included from the get-go in the base game. For free. Of course, if the scope of these stories is on par with the main storylines of Pokemon games, I can understand. But if it’s much smaller... I just can’t condone this.

It is a blatant cash grab. One that I can find no excuse for whatsoever. This game, and most everything that has come of it, has been such a dumpster fire that it has drained my love of Pokemon and left me with nothing but anger and a deep, dark disappointment. Gamefreak can do better. Nintendo can do better. I know they can. And I am willing to wait for good content.

They’re just not willing to give their fanbase the time to make that happen.

And speaking of blatant cash grabs...

Pokemon Home 

Pokemon fans have been wanting a cloud-based Pokemon storage system for years. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. But compared to Pokemon Bank’s YEARLY fee of $4.99, Pokemon Home’s premium fee for the same amount of time is quite shocking at $15.99 a pop. 

So what in the world went wrong here? Why is that price justified? While others have tried to explain it away by listing off all the different features, I say it’s not justified at all. And I’ll detail why below.

You see these graphs? Both of these contain all the points I need to make. And I’ll explain exactly why.

I’ll start from the top of the list and move down.

Transferring Pokemon is only available if you pay money for it. That means that if you want to get the additional Pokemon returning with the DLC releases, you either have to pay for the DLC or you have to pay for Pokemon Home. While transfer between games used to be free, that changed when Pokemon Bank was released. And while many people were understandably upset, the low price and additional storage space that Bank provided was enough for me to accept the change. Pokemon Home, on the other hand, doesn’t deliver enough for its price. It doubles the storage capacity Pokemon Bank had, and it introduces Room Trades. Which, honestly... don’t sound very appealing.

The number of Pokemon that can be deposited for free is... thirty. A single measly box worth. This may be enough for some people, but this, plus the box space in a copy of Sword/Shield, is not even enough to make a Living ‘Dex (if you want to include every different form of Pokemon. Otherwise it’s just barely enough). Not that you could make a Living ‘Dex anyway, with so many Pokemon still cut out. But back to the box capacity. For transferring only, this number might have been okay. But for storage purposes, this is only half a percent of the 6,000 potential Pokemon you could store if you paid up. Not even 1%. It’s 0.5%. It’s outrageous.

Wonder Trades, GTS trades, and Room Trades I’ll do together. For these features, I have little problem with the way they’re set up. The additional slots for trading are actually useful, and it makes sense to put them behind a paywall. This, I would be willing to pay for. Just not pay so much. Especially when this feature was taken out of the base game in the first place. Since the GTS was first introduced in Gen 4 (Sinnoh), it has been a staple of the game and a vital tool for completing the Pokedex, especially if you have no one to trade with in person. Many people were surprised and upset to find that the only trading function left in the base Sword & Shield games was the Surprise Trade, which is essentially Wonder Trade with a new name. However, while it is a little reassuring to have these features free to use, there is still a major limitation. It can only be done on the mobile phone version of Home.

This is something that has never existed before. You have never needed any device other than your gaming console. And to not have trades available in the Switch version as well is completely absurd. How do they expect children to use this? While tablets and smartphones have become more and more common, I doubt the vast majority of children have a device that is purely their own. They will have to nag their parents to download the app, and then further pester them each time they want to trade. Why not have that a part of the Switch version in the first place? It would be much more streamlined. I understand the practicality of having a Home app - I really do. It makes moving from Go to Home easier, I’m sure, and you now have added mobile usage when your Switch is out of range of an internet connection. But blocking features from the Switch makes no sense whatsoever.

Continuing on to the Judge function. Again, this was a feature that was removed from the main game. Not only that, but this time it is locked completely behind the paywall. When this feature came out just last generation, many competitive breeders were ecstatic. They no longer had to jump through hoops to determine that there was a Perfect IV baby in the hundreds, sometimes thousands of eggs they just hatched - they could see it right on the screen. And as a casual player, it was cool to see how many breedjects I ended up with. But it seems Gamefreak gave us a taste of a very good thing, then yanked it away, like candy from a baby.

On to the second chart. I already talked about the trading limitations, so I’ll skip over that. And it makes sense that moving Pokemon from the Switch games would be Switch Home exclusive, in addition to receiving Battle Points. There is nothing on your phone that can make use of BP. However, there are more phone restrictions that make no sense. Why can’t you receive Mystery Gifts or check Battle Data/News on the Switch? It’s certainly capable of it. Mystery Gifts in particular are another frustrating problem on par with the trading issue. The other two features I wouldn’t mind being mobile exclusive.

All in all, Pokemon Home is another hot mess for Gamefreak and Nintendo.

Conclusion

I know I’ve been rough on this new generation. Arceus knows I was pretty brutal, especially where the story was concerned. But that’s only because I know they can do better. Up until this point, we’ve been given some games that were downright masterpieces. I am highly disappointed in the creators, and I hope with all my heart they listen to their fans and do better going forward. Even if that means we have to wait a little longer.

What’s more, I seriously hope they don’t continue to financially extort their market. Charging this much for something so rushed and poorly executed is an insult. And if it continues... I’m afraid of where the Pokemon franchise may be headed.

That’s all. I’m sorry if I stepped on some toes here, but these are all my honest opinions. I hope that some of these things have validated others’ feelings, too, and perhaps that people look at some of these issues in a new light.

PS, I’m sorry for any abrupt tonal shift that might be seen between the “Characters” and “Post-Game” sections. I had to stop writing to go to bed, but then I didn’t get around to finishing until nearly a month later.

[feynavaley]

50 Questions

I took this from @mandelene, thanks for the open invitation!

———

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? Light brown. (It’s a wooden hairbrush.)

2. Name a food you never ever eat. Well... I’m quite a picky eater but I generally try everything if I’m pressed (even though I end up not liking it). I won’t eat very spicy food though, I don’t have a good tolerance for it. Another food I used to enjoy but now I can’t even stand the smell of anymore – and even less I would eat – is almond paste. (Long story short, I came up with something – maybe labyrinthitis – that made me awfully nauseous and dizzy for a few days. I would throw up any time I even just stood up, I couldn’t eat anything. But my roommate had on her desk and almond paste cake, which has a very strong smell. Since I constantly smelled it while feeling so sick, now that’s what I associate that smell and taste with.)

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Generally, too cold. I handle being cold better than I handle being hot, though.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Translating from English to Italian some stuff my dad needs for work. (He doesn’t understand/speak English.)

5. What is your favourite candy bar? Kinder Bueno, Tronky, and Bounty.

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? No.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “No, I haven’t seen your glasses. Are you sure you didn’t leave them upstairs?” to my mother.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? If it’s good, Pistachio. It’s very hard to get right, though. Not many ice cream parlours can prepare it well, they tend to make it too sweet.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

10. Do you like your wallet? Yes. Actually, I have two – one is a big red one where I keep basically everything, the other is blue and small and I just put in there a few banknotes and coins and the cards I need, changing them every time. I like both of them.

11. What was the last thing you ate? Chicken breast and salad for dinner.

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Nope. I’ve been confined home for almost one month and a half. 😅

13. The last sporting event you watched? I don’t know. I’m not a fan of sports so I don’t watch anything spontaneously. I only watch something if I’m with somebody who wants to watch it, but I don’t remember when the last time was.

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Uhh... there are different flavours of popcorns? I only know one... 😅 I’m not a great fan, though.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? An aunt of mine. (My mother’s youngest sister.)

16. Ever go camping? Yes and no. I’ve never gone with a tent in the wild or anything – however, my grandparents used to own a trailer that they kept in a fancy camping location/trailer park by the seaside. When I was a child, I would spend the entire three months of summer break there. I don’t know if it counts as camping, though. After growing older, my sister and I would sleep in a tent instead of the trailer (because the trailer was too small for everybody), but it was still in that fancy campsite which I don’t know how much can count.

17. Do you take vitamins? No.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Yes. I mean, not right now, clearly (all the Churches are closed due to Covid-19 lockdown) but I would go under normal circumstances.

19. Do you have a tan? No. And it’s very hard for me to get one, anyway. I’m as white as a person can possibly be. 😅 (I’m paler than an actual albino person I know at work. I wish I were kidding. 😓)

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? I prefer pizza. Very stereotypical, I know. 😅 (I’m talking about real Italian pizza, though.)

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Generally not.

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? White or black.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Depends on where I am and what the speed limit is. I respect the 50 km/h limit inside the cities and towns, but the 30 km/h that can be often found... yeah. 😅 (I’ve never met a driver who respected it, though.) If I’m out of the city and on a straight street across the countryside, I respect the 70 km/h limit but I tend to go faster if there’s a 50 km/h one. (Unless I know there’s an autovelox.) I’ve never gone above the 90 km/h limit, either – actually, I tend to go more around 80–85 km/h on those streets. I should probably also mention that I never drive much above the speed limit, though.

24. What terrifies you? Failure. Hurting or even just disappointing or upsetting other people. On the irrational side, I’m highly arachnophobic and I’m terrified of dogs.(Because I was attacked by a freaking SAINT BERNARD. Luckily, it just got my sweater, but it was completely mauled by the time somebody managed to get it back so... It also turned out I’m mildly allergic though, so me not staying around dogs is probably for the best anyway.)

25. Look to your left, what do you see? I actually don’t know how it’s called in English. I have a sloped wooden roof covering the left side of my bedroom, and I see it along with the skylight.

26. What chore do you hate most? Washing the dishes. Our sink is at a height that forces me to bend in an awkward way and makes my back ache if I have to wash more than a couple of dishes.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? “OMG what is that person saying?? 😭” I’m not a native English speaker so strong non-standard accents always throw me off a bit, at least at first. 😅 I need a few minutes to get used to them.

28. What’s your favourite soda? Citron soda (I don’t know the brand. It was one my great-grandparents used to have in small glass bottles, it tasted amazing and was so refreshing...), Fanta, or Coke Zero. I don’t drink soda often, though.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive? I go in. I think there’s only one place with a drive-through in my hometown. 

30. What is your favourite number? For some reason, I’ve always liked the numbers 3 and 11. They aren’t my lucky numbers or anything, I just like them. (Actually, thinking about it, I know why I like the number 11... In German, it’s ‘elf’, and I started taking German around the period I was obsessed with LoTR... 😅)

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My mother.

32. Favourite cut of beef? I hardly ever eat beef (I eat meat about every other day, but it’s generally chicken or turkey breast), I don’t have a preference.

33. Last song you listened to? This one. (You’re welcome.)

34. Last book you read? Fire and Blood by George R.R. Martin.

35. Favourite day of the week? Saturday.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes, but only the Italian one (that is missing J, K, X, Y, W). I tend to mix up some letters in the English one. 😅

37. How do you like your coffee? Plain espresso.

38. Favourite pair of shoes? My ankle-height black converse.

39. The time you normally get up? Since the lockdown started, between 8:30–9. I’ve been having trouble sleeping so I’m always tired in the morning.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunset, the colours are gorgeous. Sunrise is still beautiful and so it’s the atmosphere, but the colours tend to be fainter.

41. How many blankets on your bed? One, at the moment.

42. Describe your kitchen plates. Kind of square, white with blue and yellow stylized flowers in the corners.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? Quite empty. We’re due a grocery run.

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? No, I don’t like any alcoholic drink. For some reason, I don’t like the taste of alcohol. (And there’s probably something genetic here as it’s also true for my sister, my father, and other relatives from my father’s side.)

45. Do you play cards? Technically, I know a few games but I’m not really good at them and I don’t play often.

46. What colour is your car? I use my mother’s car and it’s dark blue. We also have a dark grey car (belonging to my father) but I’ve never used it because it’s very big (you can go up to 7 seats), I wouldn’t feel comfortable with driving it, let alone parking.

47. Can you change a tire? No.

48. Your favourite state? I’ve never been anywhere in the US so I can’t say.

49. Favourite job you’ve had? The current one. The pay is very low so I’ll have to leave it as soon as I find something better, but I love these children so much. 😭

50. How did you get your biggest scar? I actually don’t have any big scar... I have several small ones. The biggest one is probably on my arm, from when I leaned against the toaster to unplug it and got this long, thin burn. 😅

———

I tag anybody who feels like doing this! And please tag me back, I’d love to read your answers! 😊

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Seb!

You have been accepted for the role of non-biography character NDULUE “LU” TRAVERS with the faceclaim of Keiynan Lonsdale! We really enjoyed reading your application and especially loved such a creative way to tie Lu to canon. During these dark times, it only makes sense that muggleborns and other ‘”lower” blood-statuses might hide their background to protect themselves! We also enjoyed your in-depth analysis for Lu’s biases and prejudices! 

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Seb

AGE:  21+ (I’ve turned yet another year older the other day though, can you believe how ordinary I am? Not even aging backwards, like some sort of amateur… )

TIMEZONE: GMT+1

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m still on holiday until mid april and after that I’ll be travelling to uni daily by train so… If anything I’m too active. Will there ever be a time when the poor admins don’t have to suffer through pages and pages of my replies?

ANYTHING ELSE: Love you <3

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Ndulue “Lu” Travers

AGE: 26

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Genderqueer. They/Them. Queer.

Lu does not use the term ‘genderqueer’ themselves. They just know – and have always known – that their body does not fit how they feel inside. They know it’s a good body, and they don’t hate it, in fact, they quite enjoy using it for certain physical activities at times, but they just don’t think it belongs to them more than a handbag does.

They’ve tried living as a traditionally female-presenting woman for a while but it seemed just as wrong. So they’ve decided, especially in the face of war, that there’s bigger things to worry about and to just wear and act and love however they feel like it that day. If modern terminology and information were accessible to them, they’d choose ‘genderqueer’ for themselves and so I’m going with the most widely used ‘they/them’ pronouns as well. I can imagine Lu’s skin crawls when people address them with ‘Mister’ or speak of them with ‘he/him’ pronouns, even if they can’t fully put it into words why, but when it comes to playing into the ideas some people have of them, they’re good at sucking it up.

BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn

HOUSE ALUMNI: Not applicable

ANY CHANGES:  X.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

[Lu’s soul is split into two. Their parents divorced, leaving them and their brother commuting between different counties, educations and opposing moral values. They are of magical blood, no one else in their family is, has been, or will ever be. Their taste is accustomed to luxury and fame, but they themselves have no Knut to their name. To which world do they belong? Who are they really?]

Their personality is best described as vibrant and fun-loving on the one hand and selfish and sly on the other.

Meeting them for the first time, you’ll be confronted with a lot of sass, a lot of cheek, a lot of jokes and shallow remarks. They’re painfully honest about what they think of others – or at least their appearances. There’s something hyper-sensual, hyper-sexual to them even, as though their whole world turns around how to get who to bed. In a way, that’s very much the truth. After all, the person they’ve become can only exist as long as they keep being wanted that way. If they like you, they’ll shower you in gifts and wild adventures, they’ll make you get out of bed at one in the morning for a trip to an underground party where everyone is dressed up in Rococo fashion, and if you don’t want to, they’ll shame you for not living your best life. “These are the golden years of our lives, let’s spray-paint us in glitter to match!”

On the other hand they do have a dark past and a deep-rooted melancholy they can not always shake. Sometimes they use this to get pity-points. You see, even though they didn’t go to Hogwarts but to Beauxbaton, they are the epitome of a Slytherin. They’ll do most anything to protect their kin, foul play never out of the question. Lies are their best friend, and they’re damn good at it. In fact, they don’t just take pride in it but also joy. Imagine Regina George complimenting your bracelet only to turn around a second later and comment to her friend just how ugly it really is. That’s Lu. They found happiness in everything material; fashion, housing, parties, carriages is their life. Flowers are beneath them as they die too quickly. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend is their motto. And if you get on their bad side, you will suffer. You don’t know the bad luck that ensues is coming from Lu, but you will experience it intensely. There’s also an intense need to be appreciated, to be everyone’s number one and win first place in any competition – even those where no one else is aware that it’s a competition.

They can play incredibly sweet. Feed you honey as long as they get what they want, help you succeed, and rid you of all your adversaries. But if they feel insulted or neglected, the venom in their bite shows quickly.

So if it comes to what they’re good at, what they struggle with, it’s two sides of the same coin: being honest. Yes, they’ll use their actual hurt to get attention and some extra loving, but when it comes to facing how it actually makes them feel, how it influences their actions, they’ll put up a fight – or distract. They’re a master of conning, even before they met Mundungus Fletcher who helped them to their current life. They bamboozle and bedazzle their audience – and break when the truth beneath the facade is found out. The world’s a stage, they’re the lead role. But if you catch them behind the scenes, or reduce them to being the audience, a feisty tongue will jab and jab and jab until words turn to actions, indeed quite similar to theatre kids not being cast in the role they want.

What this hurt is, that I mentioned? See the next section.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Lu’s theme – a soul divided into two – has its roots, as for so many, in their past and background.

Muggle Belgium is a country split between a French part and a Dutch part, and most people there are raised bilingual. Lu, with their Nigerian mother, was raised with yet a third language, a third culture to appreciate and respect, a third reason why fitting in was nearly impossible.

Initially, it was a happy childhood, with a baby brother Lu was devoted to, and parents who, despite their differences, managed to show their love to their children. But soon the differences grew too broad, and it didn’t help that each fight they had when they believed their children to be asleep was followed by furniture mysteriously bursting, disappearing, or changing colour. Accusations were thrown, insults were hissed, and soon Lu’s father moved up to Antwerpen, far away from the French language, far away from his family, far away from the open-hearted person he used to be.

He became xenophobic, as though blaming every immigrant to be the cause for his unhappy life. Even his own children, now coming to visit him every second week, weren’t safe from his drunk, racist slurs. But staying with their mother wasn’t an option either, as she soon married again, had two new children, blacker than Lu and their brother Urhie, happier, more normal. To the new husband’s sight, Lu and Urhie were a thorn, a mistake his wife had committed and simply couldn’t make undo, a chore. So every second week, Urhie would take their little brother by the hand, go on a train, and travel yet again across the country. It wasn’t perfect. Neither home felt right, and because of the going back and forth, it was nearly impossible to make proper friends at their two schools. And when they did, and the other kids found out that the Travers were children of divorce, they’d be bullied for it. Leaving one county was always filled with anxiety, wondering what would await them on the other side of this train ride. But at least they had each other.

Urhie was a happy boy. He barely remembered his parents fighting, and while the travelling and bullying, later the lack of parental love as well, took a toll on him, he at least had an older sibling who protected him. There was nothing Lu wouldn’t have done for Urhie. They taught him all the best curse words, helped them with the homeworks, built the best blanket forts and painted the greatest tigers onto their face, read them all the Comic books and stole just so much candy for them. They also took their father’s beatings, and got all the chores for their mother done so that their presence would be at least tolerated. At school, they’d meet each other in the courtyard, and Lu made sure that Urhie never felt lonely. Never felt like all of this was his fault. After all, somehow, Lu always knew that it had been their fault, and their fault alone. All the mysterious little things that had happened, the incidents which their parents used to accuse each other of and which led to the awful arguments – that had been all Lu, hadn’t it?

The famous Beauxbaton Flower Petals proved them right. They flew in through the window, even though Lu had been so sure to close it, and that was the end of their childhood. Everything about Beauxbaton was brilliant. The uniforms, the people, the teachers, the building, and of course the magic. Everything felt like a dream. A beautiful, rare, fantastical dream that had to be true simply because Lu knew their brain could’ve never come up with something like this on its own. Was it hard to believe that they were a Wix? No. Was it hard to tell their parents about it? Oh, yes.

Their father responded with a slap to the face. “Stop with your jokes.” The Beauxbaton Secretary, who came a few days later, performed a few spells and while Lu’s eyes grew wide with wonder, their father’s grew darker and darker. Perhaps it was anger, that his child was even stranger and more different than he had expected. Perhaps it was a form of jealousy. Their mother – forbidden to say anything to her husband – cried and cried until all her tears were out and then cried some more, with a dry face now. No one quite understood why but when she finally stopped after five long days, she also stopped acknowledging Lu’s presence. They had died for her, and in the rare cases she needed something of them, a chore done, she’d speak of them in the third person, detached, as though they were just not in the room, but not even in this realm.

But none of this was bad. Not compared to how it affected Urhie. At first there was eagerness: “So you think I’ll go to Beauxbaton, too, when I’m older?!” But no matter how much they tried to make things change colour, nothing ever happened. And when Lu was about to start their fifth year at Beauxbaton, and no Flower Petals came for Urhie, their relationship changed. Brusquely and irreversibly. Urhie grew quiet, visibly hurt, at first internalising, later placing all the disappointment in his broken life on their sibling. When they were with their mother, they now played with their half-siblings, or did the chores before Lu could do them, wordlessly. When they were with their father, they hid in their room and blasted music, letting Lu face the violence alone, but instead of kissing the wounds afterwards, he now didn’t even acknowledge them.

And the more Lu tried to escape the tension – staying at Beauxbaton over the holidays, ward themselves with spells at night, or spend more time in the Wizarding City of Antwerpen and Liège – the more Urhie resented them. It was a betrayal. Lu was able to live in a world where there was magic, where there was happiness, and he wasn’t. The traitor was Lu. And so they paid for it.

By their seventeenth birthday and their graduation from Beauxbaton, they had no home anymore.

OCCUPATION: Escort

Dancing the Devil’s Tango, you know? Playing the flute, you could say. Knowing how to truly enjoy eating a banana, is another way to phrase it. Practicing throat massages, loving the nightly work out and specific stretching positions, giving people excuses to wash their bed sheets more often. You get the idea, I’m done. No, wait, one more: Horse back riding but without the horse.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Lu thinks they’re losing. They’re not powerful enough, not strong enough, not smart enough to do anything against the upper class society that has always ruled over this country and will always rule over this country. No, they don’t think they’re bad people or acting against the law, but it all seems so futile. Such great efforts for what? Perhaps a few years of peace before the next racist radical group arises? Adapting is the key, not fighting, no revolution has ever gone anywhere productive, and because the Order isn’t even trying to adapt and make use of those inside of it with privilege, Lu is both condescending towards them, as well as mildly bemused by them.

They affiliated themselves nevertheless because they want to be protected.

First, if their secret ever came out, that they’re really a Mudblood, then the Order might be there for Lu until they can get out of the country. Possibly even help them back to Belgium. Secondly, if the Order does win the war, they don’t want to be known as a Death Eater.

They’re not a Death Eater and certainly don’t have the Dark Mark, but you’d be surprised how deep into their dinner-party affairs you can sneak when you’re only considered the hors d’oeuvre. Nevertheless, Lu’s somewhat affiliated. So if the Order wins the war and their affiliation is revealed, it would be best to be in the Order to say, oh no, I was just working as a double agent, I’m not actually a bad person.

So that was why they began helping the Order out, a few months after coming to England. Nothing big, only some very personal information or clear descriptions of locations that could be useful for Order missions. The reason the Order had such a detailed description of the Nott house in December, was because Lu had taken the freedom to ‘get lost on their way to the bathroom’ and have a snoop around. It was their first ‘trial’ to help the Order with something.

For three months now they’d been helping the Order, solely for their own protection. Until. Well. Until this New Years, when the Death Eaters decided to go against Muggles.

Their war against Mudbloods, Lu had always been able to understand, to accept. Muggleborns couldn’t properly fit into the Wizarding World, not without completely getting rid of their Muggle side. And who would want to do that? To split one’s soul for two completely different styles of life… That simply wasn’t healthy.

But Muggles? Those innocent, stupid bastards? What have they done? Who will protect them? Who will protect Urhie? Lu doesn’t let themself think that name, but that’s the source of their fears, isn’t it?

SURVIVAL:

Lu came to England as an extended family member of the Travers family. Their real name is, in fact, Travers, but that’s pure coincidence, and there’s no relation to the famous British pureblood family at all. It was only with Mundungus Fletcher’s information and a bit of conning that Lu made themself pass as a member of the Sacred 28. Well, that, and long eyelashes batting with promise of the kind of night you don’t dare speaking to your wife about.

At first it seemed risky to burst into the Upper Pureblood Society without a proper patron, but soon enough Lu realised that while the British liked to present themselves as quiet and respectable, they were no less naughty than the French. Living in a small country Manor, part of the Travers heritage, there’s rarely ever a day – or rather night – that passes without visit. And because none of those patrons are the kind of people to speak about their private affairs, Lu lives more easily than ever before.

It would probably be very easy to just stay out of the war, play innocent in case the Phoenix side wins. But what if all purebloods get persecuted at the end of the war? So it’s safer to play on both sides. And if the Death Eaters catch Lu meddling with the Order, they can simply say it’s a matter of double-agenting as well. Only properly joining the Order could be a proper risk, and until very recently Lu had absolutely no desire to do that. For what? To get sent into a mission and die? You wish!

But, well, now New Years has happened and sitting still in their country Manor is not as easy anymore, is it? So while everyone is seeking out safety, Lu is, for the first time, leaving their comfortable den, to get themself into trouble. Stupid? Perhaps. Well. Yes, actually. Most definitely very stupid. But… There’s this feeling. This knowledge that danger lies ahead, but that taking a beating or two is all worth it, if at least it will protect Urhie…

RELATIONSHIPS:

In general, Lu is careful not to make close friends.

Oh, their official list of friends is as long as the guest list for a Gatsby Party, sure, but the people that actually know Lu are … non-existent. In the past, whenever there was someone who came too close to Lu, learnt too much and made it hard for them to continue playing the role of luxurious party host and resident play-toy, they’d jump ship. Go to a new country. Find new friends.

At the moment they’re physically very close with a handful of Death Eaters, but none of them ask Lu for private information, only see them as a fun pass-time, and Lu lives for it. There is safety in not being known. Safety in being loved for all the wrong reasons, never hated for all the right reasons.

When it comes to the people of the Order – most of which Lu has yet to meet – they’re rather indifferent to them. Do they have money? Flair? A sense of humour and an ability to hold their liquor? Let’s be friends! Are they bland and all about the war? All right. Let’s focus on the war. They have no interest in being close to any of those people but that doesn’t mean they’re rude to them. They affiliated themselves with the Order for protection, and they are trying to join now to help the Muggles. Much like you treat your local grocery shop lady, Lu is friendly to them, not really trying to play serious or their glamour-card, just interacting in a professional manner. But again, if there are people in the Order who they think could pay for their bling, they will not draw the line just because they’re in the Order. They see the Order the same way they see the Death Eaters: they don’t care much about their ideologies but sees them as individual people.

Suggestions, as discussed with the players:

Peter Pettigrew/Severus Snape: Both of them are Death Eaters, both of them know the faces that hide behind the masks, both of them are wildly aware what that person, who is helping the Order get to personal information about Death Eaters, is properly doing to get to that information. They know Lu’s not a Death Eater, but they also know they’re not fully on the Order’s side. Interestingly enough, they’re the only people Lu’s wary off – on Death Eater side. The Inner Circle of the Order knows that they must be somewhat close to the Death Eaters, but the Death Eaters can under no circumstances learn that Lu’s flirting with the Order. Luckily, both Peter and Severus are also aware of the power that Lu holds against them, so there’s a mutual tension and black-mailing potential going on.

Mundungus Fletcher: Mundungus is the reason why Lu made it to Britain. The two of them met at a bar in Paris, where Mundungus was currently being caught red-handed in a con-gone-awry. Lu helped him and then “I owe you.” “Great. I actually got something I need help with right now.” At first Mundungus seemed irritated that a Muggleborn wants to play Pureblood, but he showed up the next day at Lu’s place anyway, ready to help them con the British Pureblood Society. Their relationship is riddled with quarrels, jabs and insults, but somehow they can’t quite go longer than a week without going out on a drink together again.

Lily Evans: Is reason for great conflict to Lu. On the one hand, she’s a stupid Muggleborn who isn’t even trying to conceal her identity. On the other hand, she’s clearly a talented Witch. Best of her year, they say? So maybe all those prejudices against Muggleborns isn’t actually true? So while at the moment Lu is still facing her with an air of hostility and sceptical arrogance, they do want to know how she’s doing it; finding all this bravery. It might do them well to learn of another Muggleborn’s past. Either because it’ll teach them that not all Muggles are bad, or because it’ll reinforce this idea that Muggles are in fact not suited to know about magic, that the Statue of Secrecy must be kept at all cost.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: Lu x Dumbledore only, please. Only supreme Sugar Daddies acceptable for my Lu.

No, but seriously, I’d like for Lu to actually get attached for once. You’ll see, they’re very vain and shallow, but beneath all that there’s a genuinely sweet person who wants to be protected as much as they want to protect. So whether that be someone older who fits their usual prey – homewrecking is their speciality! –, or someone younger who they wouldn’t even consider as a romantic partner, I’m very open to it all.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

I think it is safe to say that now that Lu has adopted the Sacred 28 name Travers as their own, they have all the privileges one can only image. They live in a big house with maids and footmen, and while they don’t actually live off the heritage of a long-lost aunt fifth removed like they’ve told the Purebloods they hang out with now, they do have their means to get by. Gain enough money to spend it on all sorts of fun activities.

And because they’ve stopped entering the Muggle world about five years ago, they’re also facing barely any prejudices concerning their skin colour – or extravagant clothes. The former seeming to be a prejudice indeed mostly fostered by a people that took too long to begin travelling the world, the latter a prejudice for a people that has never had a sense of fashion to begin with. The traditional Wizarding costumes are colourful and grand by nature, dramatic in all the right ways, and Lu savours it.

Coming to their own biases and prejudices.

Against Muggles: Stupid, hostile, irrelevant, prejudiced to a painful degree. As the above written paragraph makes it obvious, Lu doesn’t think kindly of their own once-upon-a-time kin – surely because of the way they were treated by them.

Against Muggleborns: Actually, deep down, knowing themselves quite the skilled Magician, they don’t really believe that Muggleblood washes out your powers. However, they do think that every Muggleborn who is still staying in Britain at the moment, without even trying to conceal their identity, is the epitome of stupid.

Against Halfbloods: Barely of any relevance to Lu, but if you’d dug deeper you’d find that they might think any Wizard stupid who thought to marry a Muggle. Can’t be that grand of a family, if there’s traces of dementedness in their blood, right? But mostly they don’t care.

Against Purebloods: In Lu’s opinion, every Pureblood is inherently more powerful than Muggleborns or Halfbloods. I know, I said they know themselves to be incredibly skilled, but those contradictions exist within themselves the same way everything else splits them into two sides. They’ve spent so much time around Purebloods that they can no longer separate the truth from lies, and their beliefs have seeped into their own skin, with a tendency to make them believe they might actually be less skilled at magic as they once thought they were. It’s one of the reasons why they barely ever use magic around Purebloods – simply not to accidentally prove themselves as weak-blooded. They also think all Purebloods are rich.

Against Halfbreeds: Between the horrid prejudices spread by the Pureblood Circles they hang out in, and their own Muggle background, halfbreeds are inherently unhuman to them. In fairy tales, you didn’t see magical creatures be given human emotions. The goblins were greedy, the sirens were sexual predators, the wolves were to devour you. Surely it’s the same in the real world. The house elves love serving, the veelas love dancing on pianos at cocktail parties, and the werewolves want nothing but to kill humans. No matter how much human blood they got in their veins, at the end they’re their fairytale trait… The same way you can’t just shake your Muggleblood, right?

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

More lovely time with lovely people.

I’m going for Lu because they’re primarily a fun person, their sadness is so deep in that it will be fun to navigate them through a war, maybe bring some ease to the dash!

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

Lu is currently not in the Order. I’d like for them to make it in, because at the moment that’s their goal. They went from ‘affiliated for personal protection’ to ‘I might actually want to do something good in this war’, which is a pretty big step. The reason for this (wanting to protect their brother) is not something they’ve yet admitted to, and I think if the Order questioned them on why they want to join, it might come to the light of day, and I’d like to see them face their prejudices against Muggles.

I could also imagine a plot, much much further down the line, of them being found out a Muggleborn. Literally being kicked out of the Travers house, and losing all their patrons, etc, etc, and being about to leave Britain to run home before stopping and maybe deciding to properly serve the Order now.

But before that, the revelation of HOW it comes that they’ve got such easy access to Death Eater’s personal information. Because while Snape has ‘what’s going on’ information, Lu’s got the ‘who’s sleeping in which room, and how many house elves are employed in a household’ kind of information. It would be interesting to see someone questioning how Lu can know all this and then therefore learning what exactly they’re doing to be this close to Death Eaters. I don’t think they’re trying to hide that they’re an – in pg13 words – Escort, but I can imagine that flaunting love affairs with Death Eaters could pose some problems if they want to be trusted by the Order.

ANYTHING ELSE? Yes! Their Order status at the moment is Affiliated.

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST:

Once there was nothing more important to Lu than their little brother, Urhie. So when the magical Flower Petals came and invited Lu – and only Lu – to join Beauxbaton, something inside of them broke apart, was left behind, died. Their parents had divorced and for months they had spent commuting back and forth between the two households with Urhie by the hand, protecting them from the bribing, the exhaustion, and the inevitable feeling that they weren’t quite as loved as they should be. And now Urhie was supposed to just do all of this alone? Beauxbaton was splendid, magic was splendid, the life the French Wizarding World offered was splendid – but was it all worth it if they had to do it without Urhie? Unfortunately, going home was soon no longer an option. Their mother had a new family and the man didn’t like her children from the first marriage, and their father had slipped into right-winged circles, throwing slurs at the children the moment alcohol touched his lips. For Lu it was easy, they could stay at Beauxbaton over the holidays, ward themselves with spells or spend more time in Wizarding Liège – but Urhie? Tension between the brothers grew. And then Lu met Ferrari. A Wizard from the Russian high society who drove a very luxurious horse carriage (which earned him the name even if no one but Lu understood), and his offer was simple: Join me. Join me, let me bathe you in riches, let me take you on golden adventures, let me introduce to you the most glistening personalities of the Wizarding World. Join me, and all you have to do from now on is look pretty and kneel before me. Lu accepted – and Urhie never forgave them.

PRESENT:

Lu Travers, Pureblood Wix Extraordinaire. That’s how they’re known now. They had quickly become a brilliant gem of the Pureblood Wizarding world, a name people – that is, those with gold piles to their dragon – around the globe knew and invited to their parties hungrily. For years Lu travelled the world, first with Ferrari, then with whoever seemed willing to give them more. And more and more. They were never satisfied. Had the world previously been a crowded train ride between Antwerpen and Liège, it soon turned into the most brilliant and colourful oyster for them to slurp up. Paris, New York, Tokyo, Sydney, Capetown, wherever there were Wix of a pure blood and a decadent culture, Lu went there, lying about where they really came from and soon fitting in more smoothly than most actual Purebloods. Only one world remained closed to them: The Sacred 28 of Great Britain. It was Mundungus Fletcher who reminded Lu that they happened to share a name with one of those Pureblood families, and before they knew it, they were smuggled into London, now on their knees before the most infamous Wizards in history. Lu adores it here. Everything is just the right amount of traditional and elegant, and even though the Sacred 28 are quite careful with keeping the true nature of their relation to Lu a secret, none of them are shy to approach them. They’ve never lived any better. The only problem is this bloody war and the fact that it is, in fact, waging against Lu and their kin. If their secret comes out, it’ll be the end of them. And worse. What if the other side wins? Isn’t there this Phoenix Order? Perhaps it would be best to join them, so that if they win, Lu can say they’ve just played double agent with the Death Eaters? Not that the Order seems to be winning. And Lu doesn’t care – if only his employers hadn’t suddenly decided to kill Muggles…

FC CHOICES: Keiynan Lonsdale (they/them), Chance Pomodoro (he/him), Jordan Fisher (he/him)

reason:

https://youtu.be/8NS22iANsnQ?t=100

“oh damn” – scene change

and the following 40 seconds of that video.

[personagf-moved]

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs: 

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love 

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 

h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 

u // underwear colour: she be black 

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

 What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

[writersshock-deactivated]

Nobody ever sends these asks so imma do ‘em all.

lets get personal.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Um, right now? I really don’t know... Probably Panic! at the Disco’s new Pray for the Wicked album. Eh,,, Dancing’s Not A Crime, Say Amen, High Hopes, Old Fashioned, and then a couple older one’s, maybe Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time and Miss Jackson.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Jeremy. My crush from summer camp. Just to see him again instead of having to wait 10 months (that is if I can afford it when the time comes -- otherwise I may never see him again). So not exactly ‘meeting’, but.... Celebrity-wise, I don’t know. Perhaps Kamala Harris, a California politician.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“DNA is often too small to obtain reliable results.” (my forensic textbook)

4: What do you think about most?

I dunno... stuff.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

[sleepy face emoji]

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Usually underwear... it really depends whether or not I’m wearing a shirt.

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I don’t know... I can rap, which isn’t strange per say but it’s weird to me.

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are freaking amazing; Boys are freaking amazing too.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yes, 2. The negative anon and the positive anon.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Last night, with my 1 year old sister, to Nirvana.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I’m afraid of fire. Like, touching fire or using an oven or working with boiling water.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

No, I have never stuck a foreign object up my nose.

13: What’s your religion?

Atheist, but I have a lot of opinions about philosophy and faith.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Going inside. Or ‘playing’ with my brother.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind! I love photography! Not photogenic at all though.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Well my favorite band song of all time is Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana, but they’re not my favorite band. I’d have to say Twenty One Pilots or Panic! at the Disco.

17: What was the last lie you told?

‘No, I have never stuck a foreign object up my nose.’

18: Do you believe in karma?

Not as a Universal phenomena. But yeah, what goes around comes around.

19: What does your URL mean?

Um, ‘writersblock’ was taken. Shocking, right? My main, ‘almondivory’ is more interesting. It’s for my best friend Amber and me, Ian. And her shade of foundation is almond. And mine is ivory. So it all worked out.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakaness is probably laziness. Greatest strength? Passion.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Olivia Wilde, Jennifer Lawrence, Rihanna, Beyonce, Kristen Stewart, Penelope Cruz, and Michelle Pfeiffer are all contenders. Yeah, Tyler Joseph and Brendon Urie too.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Not since I was little.

23: How do you vent your anger?

Sulk. Listen to soft emo music.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Mental disorders.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Online.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Not yet.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I HATE nails on a chalkboard.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

‘What if I was rich’? Or ‘what if i was hot’? Or, perhaps, ‘what if i was straight?’

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

No. And I think there’s a possibility of some form of life from elsewhere in the universe, but not mainstream aliens.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Saydon. My neighbor in class. He’s looking at me strangely now. On the left, a cheap “wall” (room divisor).

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Not much. A hint of coffee.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

I don’t know... most recently, my brother’s bathroom. It’s supposed to be ‘ours’ but I can’t stand it.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

EAST COAST

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Well, my biological sex is female, even though I am nonbinary. So I’ll go with a male singer (also because there are too many hot girls to choose from) ... Shawn Mendes. Or Tyler Joseph or Brendon Urie.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

This is to complicated. It’s not that I don’t have opinions (i have many) but when i talk about this I talk for almost 2 hours and 40 minutes. Yes, I’ve been timed.

36: Define Art.

Creative expression.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Not really? I’m unsure what this means exactly.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

I’m in class, but when I got here it was clear and a little damp.

39: What time is it?

10:41am Tuesday October 30th

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No. Too young (14). But yes. I was in a bad car crash summer 2017.

41: What was the last book you read?

Textbook: for my forensic anthropology class. Otherwise: Summer Reading by Hilma Wolitzer

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes!

43: Do you have any nicknames?

By birth name is Fiona. Only one person in the world is allowed to call me Fifi. Otherwise, Ian, Ean, E.K, and E.L. (@scholarlypidgeot)

44: What was the last film you saw?

Not sure if it was Ocean’s 8 or Dangerous Minds.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Physical? Not sure.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yeah, probably, but not for long. I raised caterpillars into butterflies onse.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

No, I said, like a liar.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Demi-ace.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Yes. So many.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Not in the way you’re asking.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

No, unfortunately. I forgive too easily and I keep going back to the same abusive friendship.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Virgo, I believe. Sept. 16.

53: Do you save money or spend it?

If it’s my own, save up. Somebody’s else? Spend.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

2 coffees and a brownie. I’m healthy.

55: Love or lust?

Love.

56: In a relationship?

No.

57: How many relationships have you had?

1 (but liked 3 people).

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Yes.

59: Where were you yesterday?

Home.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yes. A couple of the flowers on my bag are pinkish-purple. My Ziploc bags have blue and pink strips. My jacket is galaxy-patterned and has a little pink in it. Otherwise, no.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes. Black with white stars, constellations, and cresecent moons. Mid-calf. Warm.

62: What’s your favourite animal?

Dolphin, elephant, owl, cat, or dog.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I ... don’t have one.

64: Where is your best friend?

About an hour away. She moved at the beginning of the month (had lived literally right across the road, like we could whisper to each other from each other’s yards.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@thethew​ @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz​ @blacktwittercomedy​ @badjokesbyjeff​ @writersupportgroup​

66: What is your heritage?

English, Scottish, Polish, German. I am a white boi/girl.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping, oddly.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Never thought about it.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

It ... depends on your definition? Think it’s pretty safe to say no.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

No.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the fucking dog!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Yes.

b) I honestly have no idea. Probably contact all my friends from summer camp and tell them how much I love them and the camp. And find Jeremy, my summer camp crush, and tell him that I liked him.

c) Yes.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Why?! I’d have to say trust. To not be trusted would drive me insane. And not being able to trust anyone would be awful. But love... I mean, I’d be terribly sad without it. :(

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Donald MacGillavry by Silly Wizard.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

8672 (home)

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, support, communication, and understanding.

77: How can I win your heart?

Stab me and remove it in a battle. Other than that? Love me.... <3

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

YES

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

No idea at all.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

8 or 9 Women’s (US)

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Age 117 years, 4 months, and 23 days -- she was happy.”

82: What is your favourite word?

Absolutely no idea. Maybe ‘l’eau’?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Red

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“?”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Homemade Dynamite- REMIX

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Bright yellow - Indigo is where they all are.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I thought about this for a while. Nobody. Because everybody I hate, I’d want them to finally understand why I hate them rather than just exploding. They shouldn’t get to go that easy.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

What’s the worst lie you ever told?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Scream, throw my pillows at them, knock them all over, lock them in my bedroom, and sleep somewhere else.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Well it was okra. Absolutely. No idea what power that gives me? The power to cook delicious food with little effort would be cool.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Dancing with Annie in 2015.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

This thing ... I ... watched. On the internet.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Not into sex. I’m gonna interpret this as ‘making out with’. Hmm... maybe Halsey? Or Brendon Urie (assuming I was instantly a lot older). <3

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Scotland.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not yet. My brother’s been close several times. Best friend’s cousin is in jail and her dad almost was (cousin for drug offenses and sexually harassing us, dad for verbally and physically abusing her).

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Yes. I remember twice right now. Once when I was 7 or 8 in San Francisco. Once when I was 10 or 11 after eating really greasy Chinese food.

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. Maybe about 10-15 times?

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“YEET”.

No, seriously, probably, “Right now everybody in the world knows who I am. And that terrifies me. Also, I’m in a library so I have to be quiet. Climate change is real.”

[femsff]

Every number that contains a 2 please 🍍

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

given how Americanized this site is, it’s important to celebrate all our countries and nationalities - with all their quirks and vices and ridiculousness, and all that might seem strange to outsiders.

For the record, I’ve included previously answered questions.

1. favourite place in your country?

Is it weird if I say my bed?

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

This is a toss-up. If I could choose without any consequences it would definitely be abroad. However, holidaying for me has always meant relaxing, preferably near the beach and an occasional stroll around town and maybe, depending on the company, a cultural outing, but I’ve been diagnosed with melanoma in the past and therefore such vacationing is out of the question. So, in actuality, it more often means I’m staying in my country and I’ll go somewhere (or visit friends/family) for a long weekend or something. It’s unfortunate, but I’m pretty sure my two cats are happy with the arrangement.

3. does your country have access to sea?

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

5. favourite song in your native language?

Hmm. I actually don’t listen much to the radio and especially not to songs in my native language specifically. The only one that really comes to mind right now is an older one that I heard a lot in my teens and it’s actually a sequel to another song by the same band. Part one is about when a good relationship starts to get rocky, all the dangers threatening their relationship, but that he (the singer) will keep the course because he knows their final destination. It’s pretty hopeful, I guess. Part two is when everything is ending, how they’re always fighting and love has turned to hate. Both songs have a maritime theme, and in the beginning he’s the strong one, the captain who’ll get them through it and in the second it’s like their ship has two captains and they’re steering in opposite directions.

6. most hated song in your native language?

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

Gezellig - has no direct English translation but basically means something along the lines of cozy, intimate, warm, fun, snug, homey and can be applied to situations (like having a great time with family/friends), an atmosphere or even the interior of a house or something.

Katuitdeboomkijker - has no direct English translation but literally translated means ‘someone who stares a cat out of the tree’ and basically means that you tend be a bit reserved and will observe everyone/a situation first before engaging. Often used to describe a person’s behavior in social settings.

Mierenneuker - literally translated it means ‘ant fucker’ and is basically the same as a nitpicker or hairsplitter.

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

I’ve already been to all my neighboring countries several times. My least favorite was probably Belgium (no offense, Belgians) although my friends and I did have a blast there when we went there on a week-long school excursion in high school (I think as freshmen or maybe sophomores). I haven’t explored much of Germany yet, so maybe that would be it? I also like the UK and would definitely want to explore more of it (and yes, I’m using UK rather than England because that way there’s more to explore!).

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

Oh my. Hmm. I think I’m going to have to go with ‘kut’, because of the k-sound which just sounds really good when expressing it in dismay/anger. It’s basically a vulgar word for a woman’s private parts and can be used in a similar manner as the English ‘fuck’. It is not considered as being on the same level of offensiveness as the English cunt. I also like ‘tering’ because you can really draw out the e. That’s the word for consumption (tuberculosis), by the way, but I only use it as an exclamation (there are variations where people basically wish it on you or, from the olden days, accuse you of suffering from it).

I probably should have prefaced this answer with the fact that in my culture, we tend to use diseases (often dreaded ones from the past) and sex organs in our swearing and profanity (also, often food for insults, like calling someone a pancake for being a dumbass).

11. favourite native writer/poet?

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

Eek! I feel like this answer might disappoint folks, but I’m not a big fan of prose/poems and honestly, couldn’t name one. In my experience, translated written works always seem to lose something in translation though.

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

This is a tough one. I think I’m gonna go with a saying, “doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg”, which basically means ‘act normal, that’s weird enough’ because we don’t like crazy or over the top things.

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

I feel like this is a trick question and am now wondering if this questionnaire was created by an American or non-American. Why? Because, in comparison, Americans are very patriotic and nationalistic. My country and many in Europe are far less so, not in the least due to having seen the devastation such extremes can bring (WWII). This is not in any way meant as an accusation, it’s just an observation and I think, for the context, an important distinction that should be made.

Anyway, to answer the question, I’m not obsessed with my country’s history but am informed. History has never been my favorite subject (dropped it in high school as a freshman) but I do like to learn the origin of certain things in my country/culture.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

Looking at the Olympics, probably ice skating. But soccer (football for the Americans) comes as a pretty close second and it’s definitely one the whole country goes wild for when the national team is in the EC/WC (think: orange madness). Don’t get me wrong, we also like the Olympics but it’s not on the same level. Yet.

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

In order to destroy them? Or to make contact with the aliens?

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

Like I’ve said in another answer, we don’t really do the whole national pride thing to the same extent as some countries, but I like how we’re so small and yet are pretty good at certain things (water management, infrastructure, sports, agriculture, healthcare, science). My identity is not really tied to my country or vice versa, so I can’t say I’m really ashamed of something my country as a whole has done or does, but we used to be known for being very tolerant and the past decade or so you see more and more intolerance and that’s just a shame.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

Good question. I think maybe beer or wine? A quick google search gave me no definitive answer either.

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

Belgium! There’s a long standing tradition of us calling the Belgians dumb and, apparently, they do the same thing about us! However, lately, the US is a very hot topic as well.

So, I’d say historically/traditionally the former but in every day conversation and such it’s the latter.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

I used to feel that way, but now that I’m older I think I’m far more appreciative of my country and culture.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

Yes, sometimes. They’re all cliches and many of the stereotypes are very dated. Also, for some reason certain movies/shows like to use the language probably because they feel it’s “special” since, relatively speaking, so few people speak it worldwide but then they apparently can’t be bothered to actually hire a voice coach who speaks the language and it ends up being incomprehensible for native speakers as they pronounce the words often in a mix of German and some kind of Eastern European language or something. Very strange. I mean, why even bother?

27. favourite national celebrity?

I’m not really into celebrities, so I’ll pick the king&queen.

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

Nope, flat as a pancake as we like to say.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

Not really, anymore. We just have a long standing tradition of mocking the Belgians for their lack of intelligence and accusing Germans of stealing our grandparents’ bikes.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?