#26 fucking failures in a row.

[willgrahamsbecoming]

first try

[masschase]

Some of my Boss's looks throughout the years and some stuff about the games/eras they represent.

This is really some stuff I wanted to put in a post with her outfits over the years but that has yet to get made, so... LR-TB:

1. Year: 2006, Age: 15, almost 16. Pseudonym: Didn't think of that yet! Just Casey Clark.

Baby Casey! Near the start of Saints Row.  Wannabe goth with no fucking money. Likes trading cards. Hates everything. Barely talks. Those gold studs were one of the first things she bought when she got a little cash because she wanted something gold like the other Saints. She struggled to fit her sister's hand-me-downs once she hit 5'9", so she started getting hand-me-downs from her friend Mori who was the same age as her but also tall which is why she only has 'boys' clothes. She does get herself a new look once she takes over the Saints.

2. Year: 2009, Age: 19. Pseudonym: Patient 309; Leader of the Saints, Highly Dangerous.

Well yep obviously she's in the coma, still breathing through a tube, still undergoing surgery for internal and external injuries. Plastic surgery is reasonably in line with what you see in the game; ridiculously good. Once all her treatment is finished she doesn't have a great deal of visible scarring, the odd bit on her stomach and arms. Overgrown hair. Overgrown eyebrows.

3. Year: 2011, Age: 21, Pseudonym: Emma to start with, but eventually everyone just starts calling her Boss.

Saints Row 2. Out of the coma! One of the first things she does after she and Johnny get to the hideout is dye her hair purple (that's why it's a bit shit lol). Has decent money for clothes but still dresses like she's in 2006. ANGERY would be an understatement. Finally old enough to drink legally. Needs to drink and smoke to deal with life in general. Gets to play with makeup a little.

4. Year: 2014, Age: 23/24, Pseudonym: Just Boss. Blake Olivia Saint on the credit cards bc she's cheesy.

Saints Row The Third. Suspects she's being watched. Is correct. Likes the money and power of the Saints being a recognised brand, already fed up of the fame. Made Pierce the face of the Saints pretty quickly after almost punching someone on her first Saint's flow shoot. The hoodie is Saints branded. The sunglasses are Saints branded. The earrings are diamonds now tyvm. Finally getting therapy. Less violent, just as traumatised.

5. Year: 2016, Age: 25/26, Pseudonym: Erica V. Saint.

During the SRIV 5 year gap; 1 year after disabling the nuke. You know what's way worse than feeling watched? Feeling controlled. When she fell through the White House roof a year ago it all seemed like a fun idea, running for President. Now she has to actually take other people's advice or risk failure. She doesn't feel as in charge as she used to. You can see she has styled waves in her hair not her natural wave. She does like the business attire. She doesn't enjoy being told she can't dye her hair or wear her makeup how she wants.

6. Year: 2020, Age: 29, Pseudonym: President, then Emperor.

Saints Row IV. By this point the reflects some of the freedoms she acquires once she actually becomes President. More ear piercings, more tattoos including the fleur-de-lis on her neck, dyeing her hair again (she changes up the colour every month or so) wearing the makeup she wants to again. The Saints who lived in the white house all got their tattoos in the last four years, too. She stops wearing gold jewellery as she has her gold pistol.

7. Year: 2022, Age: 31, Pseudonym: Emperor, or at this point, just Casey/Cass as everyone knows.

She wears casual clothes a little more by 2020. This is her towards-the-end-of-my-fanfic "a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life" haircut. She gets it dyed purple but it quickly fades to blue. I couldn't resist putting her in fishnet again. Finally admits she's not immune to love. On the verge of invading the new planet.

[thanksforthedinosaur]

november 2022

1. carly rae jepsen - far away 2. genes - run! 3. thuy - u should feel special 4. tove lo - pineapple slice 5. tayler buono - screen 6. iri - friends 7. alaina castillo - fantasies 8. kilder - comfort me 9. terror jr - be some body 10. piri - say it 11. julia wolf - dracula 12. lolo zouaï - gummy bear 13. upsahl - into my body 14. nessa barrett - madhouse 15. mothica - nightshift 16. chloe moriondo - trophy 17. daine - stay close 18. bantug - sour flowers 19. salem ilese - exbox 20. king mala - sloppy 21. nina nesbitt - need you 22. stalking gia - obviously… 23. liv dawson - last thing on my mind 24. kailee morgue - arizona pretty 25. ruby the rabbitfoot - love without a lover 26. gabrielle aplin - never be the same 27. alex lustig - fate 28. charlie houston - comfortable 29. carlie hanson - 608 30. girl in red - october passed me by 31. fazerdaze - thick of the honey 32. babygirl - always 33. oh wonder - 22 make 34. tegan and sara - pretty shitty time 35. gracie abrams - difficult 36. noah cyrus - ready to go 37. field medic - always emptiness 38. johanna warren - hi res 39. alomar - dirty sink water 40. andrea von kampen - time + space (molto bella) 41. ann annie - riverside 42. the 1975 - when we are together 43. hozier - swan upon leda 44. katie dey - her sweet weight 45. the early november - pretty pretty 46. jizue - ordinary 47. sakanamon - mad baller 48. so much light - invincible 49. fraternal twin - cloudsong 50. frankie cosmos - abigail 51. oso oso - de facto 52. their / they're / there - a symphony of sparrows 53. the ghost ease - brb dying 54. tigers jaw - reckless 55. tragwag - failure 56. tatiana hazel - love is so fucked up 57. willow - hover like a goddess 58. blink-182 - edging 59. birds in row - rodin 60. ruby haunt - headland 61. winter - crimson enclosure 62. breakup - sorry 63. tanukichan - make believe 64. brothertiger - be true 65. dan mason ダン·メイソン - taking time 66. bladee - hahah 67. palmistry - bad vibes 68. wednesday campanella - hot pot commander 69. layfullstop - family affair 70. joyce wrice - iced tea 71. jamila woods - boundaries 72. post malone - cooped up / return of the mack https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3DLhonDh27PuRzJ6bsALrP?si=631c1d2f75bd482f

[chiimmchiimm]

❝𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 !¡ 𝑜𝓃𝑒 ❞

CHAPTERS “  01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 -  11  - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 “  

The northern jail was the most dangerous in the country, social scum, thousands of criminals were locked behind their bars. Who would tell poor Blair that he would end up there because of his father’s mistake. The problem was not the lack of hot water, but that inhuman obsession that many of the prisoners had for “new toys.” Rookies had two options; be submissive and abide by veterans’ orders or suffer the dangerous anger of those disturbed minds. It all started one night when Blair had the bad idea of ​​going to shower alone.

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jungkookoffender au x (female: Blair) 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: smut.(later), offender au, fluff, angst. 𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 5 k 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔:  +18   𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔:   abuse, domestic violence, painful memories, sadness, psychological abuse, dirty lenjuage. 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒:  This is my first novel on Tumblr, give it a lot of love and don’t forget to like it. The chapters will be uploaded weekly.

The sun dazzled much more that morning, its blinding light sneaked through the slits of the shutters halfway down giving a much more welcoming look to the living room of my parents’ house. Sitting on that white velvet sofa with a relatively steaming decaffeinated coffee on the side table. With my cheek resting heavily against the median kneecap to rest my head. The television broadcast the morning news of each day. It was the same as always; juicy gossip of some famous, unfortunate catastrophes about a natural disaster, exhaustively ridiculous scandals about some imprudent action of some human being.I got up ready to turn off that silly box that the only thing that could grant me was useless, but suddenly, photo information My father came out on the front page. My phone started ringing incessantly but I couldn’t stop staring at the screen with my mouth open when the journalist started listing all the charges that came related to our last name. I even covered my shocked mouth when a family photo appeared behind the woman. One where we all went out; Mom, he and me Mom wore a forced smile under her sad and dull eyes, my father’s hand wrapped her small waist with love, a feeling that only showed us when someone was present. A smaller me hooked on my father’s long neck with a brightly fierce emotion while teaching the few teeth he had back then. A sarcastic smile appeared early under my lips because that was the day I received my first slap.

As the stormy rains on cold winter days my life always revolved around the same routine. My father attended important events and my mother and I accompanied him to maintain his elitist family profile. However, it all ended when I turned eighteen. I put an endless number of excuses so as not to have to face those humiliating talks about the lowest society. I know my father didn’t believe me, of course, he can’t hurt my head every Friday at the same time. My mother always helped me and in the end, I got what I wanted; get away from him. The relationship with my father was never affectionate and that remains unchanged now in my twenties. Instead, a small part of me wanted to go to those extravagant meetings, not because of the chatter with those insipid people, but, for not leaving my mother alone who knew that they were not to her liking either. Still with her layers of makeup my mother could not cover the tracks that my father left on her delicate skin; the bruises, bruises, breaks … His overthrown gaze was the last thing I saw before falling asleep every night. I can never erase the time he hugged me so hard that my breath left my system, I knew from his trembling, that my father had unloaded his business failure with her.

“I left.” I whispered with my mouth against the cold surface of her skin. His arms dropped slowly when I separated from her. My tone was decisive, decisive, so that I understood that I was not talking about a simple possibility, but a solution. “You don’t deserve a son of a bitch to fuck you every night.”

But as expected, my mother ducked her head. And I knew that I shied away from my penetrating gaze because I knew that deep down I was right.

He took a long breath and then answered what I was so afraid of; “Everything I do is for you.”

I did not open my mouth again all night, just lend him my back to release his helplessness with continuous crying. He understood why he did it but did not support it. I know that he wanted to give me the best education and the best luxuries, but at what price? I would gladly give up all the comforts that had been given to me as long as his suffering ended. But I knew that I was a motive but not the most relevant. My father was. I know I was afraid of him and that he justified every abuse with all kinds of inconceivable excuses. And for that crude reason, my mother always ended up being dragged by my father.

What I never thought, is that, I would also be dragged by him.

“Are you aware that you face a penalty of seven years and two months in prison?”

Everything happened so fast, that man spoke so fast. I was barely aware of the sporadic overturn that I had just given my life. And he regretted not having tasted that coffee better because from the face of that man he could deduce that it would be the last one he would drink in a long time. The prosecutor leaned a hand on the table in the interrogation room to get my attention, but the only thing he looked at was the bumps on the bricks of the white wall. The tears gathered in my eyes. The low fluidity of my breathing. And the dolls burned by the touch of the cold metal of the wives. I couldn’t even understand lucidly if he said anything else or it was just pure invention of my mind. The whitish light that came from the laminated ceiling lamps produced a frightening buzz that, to my bad luck, blocked all the orders of my central nervous system, keeping me completely stretched in a chair that, however uncomfortable, was much better than the filthy bed of The dungeons What did he want me to tell him what was innocent? He had already repeated it to satiety and seemed not to care in the least, even, I was able to absorb an improper satisfaction of a good lawyer when hearing the judge’s sentence.

Emphasizing time again, everything happened too quickly, so much that I could barely be aware that my feet were directing my body towards an unknown room. When my watery eyes read inmates I could be aware, again, of how much life could change in a matter of seconds.

“Turn it off as soon as possible and memorize the pin well, you may not remember in seven years.”

Look closely as my phone offered. However, the blow of the white tray against the table made me divert attention to the tattooed girl behind the counter. A girl with bluish hair that carefully removed the clothes while playing with a pen balancing it inside her mouth. A tap on my abdomen made me regain my composure. When I accepted my phone back I turned it off and gave it to the governor.

“Look, all size 38, okay?” And there are six complete molts included. ”The blue hair announced, making a small pout with her lips. I lift a small transparent plastic bag while showing me one by one the garments that would be my wardrobe from now on. I had changed my channel suits and my row tracksuits for a yellow jacket and pants of the same color. But without a doubt, what caught my attention was the white clothes that were in another bag.

“Hey, I brought my own underwear.” The ruler observed me immediately. “I have sensitive skin.”

The girl stopped moving things to lift her head and stare at me. Blue — since his hair wore that vivid color and he didn’t know his name. ”He intensified a line with his lips as he tightened all the features of his face. He looked at me as if he had said the worst atrocity in the world. And I certainly did not understand why he was so serious when he had said nothing wrong. It was not my fault that my skin did not support polyester, if someone wanted to blame it, then it is my strange allergy to poor quality materials. One that left me full of small red spots along my entire epidermis and an unbearable itching for three days.

“Well,_ Barbie_, we’re all the same here.” He commented mockingly. I frowned at her derogatory nickname, however, I couldn’t protest because at the moment the ruler broke into our little discussion, if we refer to her as an eloquent little talk in which I have been left as a weak and silly girl who has been belittled and he has not had the courage to defend himself.

“What is this?”

By the time I wanted to realize what was happening I already had the bottle of my vitamins being opened by the long fingers of that woman. I reacted immediately with a babble that all I reflected was how much that shit situation could.

“No, no, that’s not a drug. It’s nothing weird, it’s just royal jelly.” As I was speaking the words piled up under my tongue and my trembling made the language come out much less fluently than I expected. However, the governor raised her eyebrows as if my version of the echos was not given as true. On the other hand, blue was making fun of my nerves again with a low smile that hid while scratching her bulging hair. I felt the need to explain myself again and I did so; “It is to reinforce defenses.”

“Forty pills?” He asked so wryly that question that I was speechless. I moved, to the laugh of blue that increased my beginner’s nerves. “What will you do when they run out?”

“Man, I expected to be out when that will happen.”

But my answer falls like a vol of cold water. Then, I realize that I thought out loud. And that blue has not stopped laughing at any moment of my blunder and that now has made his laugh level up. I don’t know what I have to say to fix things, because I literally just expressed my wishes to get out of here, however, I don’t see anything wrong with that but apparently she does resent my sincerity. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be in this crappy place and endure the laughter of a criminal who does nothing but make fun of me.

For my luck, everything is there. In a little anecdote that will happen to the most shameful periods of my existence.

I pick up the tray with disgust because it didn’t look like it but it has its weight and I walk down a corridor that only leads in one direction. First, the governor enters and then I do it. I thank you ironically for the galantia of holding the door while I eat the stiffness of the glass with my mouth.

“Put the clothes on that tray when you’re done and make sure you don’t keep anything.”

Seat. Really, he won nothing by arguing with a woman who is in sight that has a character of a thousand demons. Better keep quiet and follow your orders as fast as I can. I have to change in front of her. And I thank heaven that she is a woman and not a man because she certainly would not have been able to stay naked in front of the opposite gender. Then, I move again to a room that was next to the old one to go through a metal detector machine. As you can see I don’t wear anything, he relaxes in a padlocked sigh. Poor woman, I have a feeling that you don’t usually pay much attention here. Finally, I understood that my little excursion is over when I have in front of me the automatic doors that would open my module.

Then, the governor turns to a guard who appears behind a counter.

“Open the door, I bring the new one.”

The girl presses a button and the metal doors open. The governor shakes her head to tell me to go ahead. Breathing a sigh from my own emotional instability, I shake my shoulders and walk right. However, when I hear the fortuitous noises of things being hit against the metal I remain planted on the site which causes the government to almost clash with me.

“What do you think you are doing?” “Is he not listening to the hustle and bustle that prisoners are riding?

“I can’t.” I deny uncontrollably, to the point, of almost injuring my neck when I turn from side to side. The governor places her hands at each end of her hip while looking at me with obvious discomfort. “Please.”

But my plea seems to fill his patience and the only thing that I achieve with my actions is that I push myself sharply and fall face down on the ground. And then, chaos breaks loose. The blows increase in level. I do not even look at the grotesque spectacle of which my ears are witnesses because in the story I wake up I try to run away backwards but collide with the governor and I almost fall again.

“Do you want to be still, fuck?”

“I’m innocent …” he said for the twentieth time in the day.

“Pick up the floor tray and move on.” - order. I withdraw what has been said above, this lady is a witch. He gives a fuck that he is giving me a little anxiety attack. I make sure of it when I narrow my eyes. He is throwing small threats with his gestures and I have no choice but to pick up the forgotten tray on the floor.

“Newbie!” You eat rabbit tonight.

He ducked his head and keep going.

“Go here, rule!”

-Pretty! Hey you!

I decipher a shout through the crowd and instantly regret having done it. And much more to divert the head towards the alleged culprit because the first thing my eyes see is a woman shaved and tattooed to the neck making with her fingers the shape of a vagina and passing the tongue in between. The one next to him laughs at the terrified reaction I do. I quickly simulate an arcade frightened by that grotesque insinuation.

But the worst was yet to come.

-Brunette! I’m going to give you until I’m dry!

“What a gift from Santa Claus!”

He panicked.

The governor stretches again because I have stopped again. Then, I raise my head and look at the top railings. My eyeballs widen to the point of almost leaving the site. I drop my tray when I see the stacked row of sweaty bodies controlled by testosterone looking at me directly. Their dirty and perverse glances cover the little skin that leaves prison clothes in sight. By instinct I hug myself but I can’t get the anguish to go away. When the governor who is behind me realizes that I have stayed at the site of disgust, she pushes me slightly forward to finish climbing the stairs.

“I would like to be a sardine to swim in your vagina!”

“Cell 345!”

I don’t even know who said that because my head didn’t lift it from the ground at any time. The incessant compliments do not stop disturbing my auditory ducts as I go up the steps. For a moment, I think I hear the government’s sigh but I am not sure if it was his or mine because I could barely distinguish another sound other than the bellowing of those disgusting men. Their throats were torn by the volume so high that they used to get my attention, what they did not know, that this was not the first time that he faced this type of situation and that he would not fall for his provocations. Therefore, when I thought I could worthy of raising my head I could realize that my luck had just taken a wonderful course because I was facing the opposite direction of that tangle of apes in heat.

The governor took out an orange card and passed through the magnetic sensor of the door. The noise of that steel structure stimulated my blood velocity and that my eyes responded by closing tightly. With nerves accumulating in the small lump of my throat I took the first step towards those four walls that would now be my home.

A dark-haired girl under the bed as soon as I set foot in the small cell. But he didn’t look at me, but at the ruler.

“Boss, there must have been a mistake.” The rookie goes in another cell here we are complete. ”He explained, pausing the tone of his voice to give it a much deeper touch. What gave me the most curiosity about his vocal bell was that he was adorned with the typical accent of foreigners. The white-skinned girl stood in front of me to cut my step while pointing her finger back. Her black straight hair covered her cheeks slightly while she covered her shoulders with neglect. He had long legs and thin arms under the sleeves of the yellow jacket. Small and thin lips, and a feline look that left me blank when I looked at myself for two seconds. My arms trembled unconsciously because I could perfectly perceive a warning glow.

—Blair London is assigned to this cell. Come London leave your stuff on that shelf and make your bed.

“Still rookie.”

When I took a step that girl got in my way.

“Do what I told you, London.”

“Do not do it.”

“Do it.”

“No.”

“Do it London.”

“No,” he whispered in such a dark tone that a paralyzing chill caressed my back.

I instinctively shrunk my body when that girl spit her breath over my face. Swallow nervous saliva, an act that did not go unnoticed by her. A small macabre smile greeted his features when he felt the tremor of my fingers holding the tray. I counted mentally to slow my shortness of breath but all I could get was to get his attention more.

“Do you think that because we let you smoke in here, you’re going to do whatever you want?”

When the authoritarian voice of the governor reached my ears, my back slumped forward. The palms of my hands began to sweat and my mood deteriorated at times. At this point it didn’t matter if I hid my stress because it was no longer a viable option.

“I’m just informing the module manager that we’re very tight here and if one more inmate comes in, maybe she has to sleep on the floor.” Yes or no, girls?

As he leaned to the side to see the governor directly, I could see what was behind her. Two more girls inhabited the room. One of them with much longer and darker hair was placed behind her to support what she said. The other, almost white hair and extremely white skin, sobbed and trembled almost as much as I did while swaying on the mattress with a rosary sticking out of her thin fingers. The first, nodded in a gesture of security while the other prayed in low whispers. When he saw that he was saying nothing he approached and hit him in the head.

“Answer the hell!”

“Yes-yes.” I stutter exaggeratedly. I separate her head from her shoulders and when I look at her cellmates I can see two superficial cuts, one on her lower lip and the other on her left cheek. What the fuck had they done? Really, he looked like a scared little animal about to be hunted. I felt so bad for that girl. My empathy had caused me to give him a look full of sadness.

“I’ll take the new one so you don’t make her life bitter.” The governor informed her, snapping her tongue as she gave a sideways glance at the Asian girl. However, when I thought I could finally run away from that awkward situation, the governor ended the encounter with a warning; - You think you have everything under Akame control but be very careful.— Then, I touch my shoulder to drag myself out of the cell.

“Why don’t you look at your phone, govern?” And then we talk about who’s in charge here and who has to be careful.

The woman deformed her expression to a calmer one as if those words had not affected her. But both the dark-haired girl and I knew that they had done it, and maybe for that reason, I didn’t even answer him and he took me out of there as fast as he could. Should I thank you for getting me out of that place? Definitely yes.

But before I finished showing my thanks, a tall, dark young man passed by our side. His presence seemed to startle her so much that she almost collided with me. Then he watched me a few seconds before calling the guard.

“Garcia.”

The boy turned.

“Can you take the new one to his cell?” The brunette nodded. “I don’t find myself well.

“Clear.”

The governor handed him the folder with my personal data and shot out down the hall as if an important matter was waiting for him. Would it have to do with the threat of that girl? Something told me yes.

We did not walk much, we passed two cells and stood in the third. Again, panic began to cloud my system. The air to miss me. And my knees to shake getting my balance was required immediately not to fall. I didn’t want to find another one like that girl. Was it that there was no one normal in this prison shit? All of a sudden, my nerves played tricks on me because my mouth opened to confess what I had been keeping since I crossed the courthouse door.

“I can’t.” I ran over.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I need to see a doctor.”

I don’t know if it sounded too exaggerated but I definitely didn’t want to get in there.

“Do you have tremors? Blurry vision? Dizziness Cramps? Chest pain?″

"Em, no.” I blinked as I lost myself among so many symptoms.

“Well, then nothing happens to you.” Not caring about my facial pallor, he swiped his orange card through the sensor and again, my eyes closed at the squeak of the door. He held the folder against his chest and said, “Blair London.Cell two twenty five.”

Any motor movement that my body could make seemed to have left my head. My quick breathing lifted my chest at an excessive rate denoting on the front page how nervous I was to find myself again. I took the first step into the cell. A girl of short and slender stature rose up from her bed, drawing the attention of the other two. He removed his short tinted hair from a light brown back as he glanced at his companions. A middle-aged woman who put her hand on her left leg while leaning towards my paralyzed figure examining me with curiosity and another girl with extremely pale skin much younger than the two previously mentioned behind the main culprit of my partial blush of cheeks. The aftertaste of my saliva was bitter from so many chills that ran through my little body. Too overwhelming pressure seized the area near my stomach when the bars of the cell covered the door leaving me without escape. Locked up with those three women. And above all, locked in my desperate destiny.

"I am Dallas.”

I jumped a little when I returned to my horrible reality. The low voice of that girl woke me up completely. He stretched his hand politely towards me while he leaned slightly and smiled as if we were two friends and not two inmates of the worst prison in Los Angeles. No doubt that girl was too confident. But, nevertheless, his singular sympathy for strangers was something that I sincerely thanked. I finally accepted his hand and although I could not return a smile for my state away from joy, at least, stimulate a small grimace under my dry lips.

“I am Blair, delighted.” I said, controlling the small tremor in my voice thanks to the timely appearance of my self-control. Finally, I could smile. I leaned uncomfortably towards her cheek to kiss her kindly, Dallas understood my action and we ended up giving two cheek kisses as a way of civilized greeting. The air came out of my mouth unconsciously to calm the nervous spasms I still suffered from the two pairs of eyes that saw the scene from a distance.

The second to speak was the oldest of the four.

“Where are you from, my girl?”

“From here, from Los Angeles.”

But the child’s sudden laughter stopped my response.

“No, why are you here?” He replied, pausing the space of the words he spoke. The mockery danced for her serene features, clearly, emphasizing my poor understanding. His hands flew into his pockets, dragging the fabric of his yellowish pants. His shirt ran down. The mark of his bony clavicle denoted how much he lacked a good diet. She was extremely thin compared to the weight she should have with her height. I tilt his thin leg to support his body while sweeping my perfectly buttoned shirt.

“Ah.” I issued the monosyllable with caution. “I really shouldn’t be here.” I am here for a mistake.

“And how many years have you fallen for the mistake?” Dallas asked as she adjusted the jacket of her uniform to her liking. Glancing under the eyes of complices with the smallest in his enjoyment for making me feel uncomfortable.

“Seven.” I murmured under my breath. My body shrank because the teasing did not take long to appear. Making such a big scandal that the guard soon appeared to get our attention with some blows on the bars. I was upset, however, not surprised. Neither the judge nor the ruler had believed in my innocence, did I really think they would be different? I should get used to the teasing since it seemed to be his favorite hobby. I headed for the only empty bed in that small cell. Through that tide of laughter and groans that cause my internal discomfort. I thought it was best to ignore them and I did that while I stretched the sheets.

“Do you want to keep laughing in isolation, June?” The guard’s authoritative voice appeared behind them. His warning to the smallest had been like the extinguisher that turned off his fun.

“You are very bitter, Garcia.”

Immediately, Liberty seconded his mischief.

“This is what you need is a good dust, Dallas.”

“That you be silent!”

He gave another blow as a warning resulting in the two friends separating. Liberty raised her arms signing the peace. The youngest, just climbed on the bed above mine and jumped down.

“Get in bed and sleep, mommy.”

I watched in a flash as the woman’s hand rested on my shoulder. His hand adorned with slight wrinkles and small skin spots had been the closest thing to human contact he had had in hours. And even if we were unknown, I was able to spot some tenderness in his touch. As if his words were not an order, if not, an advice that I should follow for my good. The woman had a very intense green-eyed look. There was something in those lifeless pupils that told me that I had suffered a lot in life. And for a few seconds, that woman reminded me of my mother.

“Thank you but … I don’t think I can sleep.” I confessed, undoing my usual hue at a lower one.

The heat of my shoulder disappeared when he removed his hand and turned around. A bleak emptiness stifled my body after lack of contact. I lay down slowly on the mattress while following the woman’s movement carefully. When he finished going to bed, he looked at me one last time and sighed. As if guessing all the problems that crossed my mind.

“The first night is the most difficult. If you can’t sleep, talk to God, he always listens to us.”

A bitter smile crossed my lips when the woman turned her back on me. I didn’t want to be rude and much less after he had treated me so well, for that very reason I kept quiet. I crossed my fingers over my stomach but comfort was not something I felt at that moment. I closed my eyes for several minutes to see if the dream was beating my anguish but the only thing I got was to overwhelm myself under the covers. I removed my body until I lay on my side. When my eyes met the white wall it was as if everything would make sense. It filled my mouth saying that this shit had been a mistake. But deep down I understood the mockery of that pale girl. And if you look at it from another perspective it was quite pathetic. I could say all that convinced but that didn’t make it easier. I knew that my father had screwed up my life and that as much as the woman told me that praying would help solve my problems, I made another crude excuse for not accepting reality.

The lack of weight from the mattress above distracted my hypnosis with the wall. When I turned my body slightly I could see through the little clarity that Dallas had come down from his bed. How I was covered up to the nose I could see the scene before me without realizing that I was still awake. He reached out and with the tip of his finger pressed the button on the bars. Out of nowhere a much taller figure appeared and Dallas threw forward enthusiastically. The last thing I saw before they left was a tattoo of a small heart on the wrist of the tallest.

                                                           ✞

NEXT

[eldunea]

how lotor picked the new typed gym leaders of the prussian league.

given that 39 of the 45 previous gym leaders of preuzien were working for the evil team that ruled the region from the 1950s until the present day, lotor had a lot of replacing to do. he had to replace both type specialist and non-specialist gym leaders, but here i’m going to talk about how he replaced all the typed leaders except for the dark, poison, ghost, psychic and fighting leaders--making that 13 people he had to replace.

the first part of the application was pretty standard, sort of like a college application. you submit your resumé and some supplemental essays. what is out of the ordinary, however, are some of the essay questions, which force you to really think outside the box. moreover, the application also asks you for three references, and whereas it’s frowned upon in normal job apps to submit the names of those whose relationship to you is solely personal and not professional, this application SPECIFICALLY asks you to submit the names of friends, significant others, and/or family as your references, with at least one of the references being a friend or SO of 5+ years. (don’t have a friend or SO of 5 or more years? lotor takes that as a sign that you’re incapable of forming stable, healthy long-term relationships and that is an automatic rejection.) i’ll explain this more later on in the post.

in order to be able to enter the prussian league as a gym leader, you have to have beaten the prussian league OR the prussian national tournament OR received equivalent experience--and when they talk about equivalent experience, they mean something absolutely fucking insane, such as being champion for like 10+ years, winning multiple foreign league conferences in a row, or defeating multiple legendaries at full strength because prussia’s league is so insane that that is the bar for even the lower-ranked league members. notwithstanding these high restrictions, a whopping 40,000 people applied from both within preuzien and from around the world. lotor personally read each and every single application and personally accepted or rejected each one--with his eidetic memory and his ability to read entire pages simply by glancing at them, he was able to read and analyze roughly 2,857 applications a day. the process was extremely selective: out of the ~3,000 people who applied for each available typing, only 20 of them were moved on to the next round.

the next part of the application also seems completely ordinary on the surface: you do an interview. however, this is not a normal interview by any means. you don’t sit down for an hour, get a bunch of questions listed off at you, and then get up to leave. instead, you spend an entire week with your interviewer so that they can get to know you inside and out. they do ask you some standard interview questions, but their purpose is far more extended and complex: they want to observe you, learn you from the inside out, and only after you pass this test can they move you on to the next round.

lotor also chose the interviewers with a purpose. these aren’t just standard office workers, no. all of his interviewers are spies, government agents, interrogation specialists, detectives, social workers, psychologists…people who are trained to not only psychoanalyze you to hell and back, but also to ferret out information that you may want to keep hidden. you may be shy around them at first, but by the end of the week you’ll be spilling your insecurities, personal setbacks and weaknesses and it’ll be too late to stop it. having gathered this intelligence on the candidates, the interviewers then file reports on them and report to lotor and his gym leaders. they all read the reports and have a round table discussion on which 10 people out of the 20 for each type get to move on to the battling rounds.

when you get to the battle rounds, you are first mentored for a week by not only the current prussian league but also by the corresponding typed leader of the 18 typed gym leaders of the süddeutsche (south german) league. this is so that both leagues can get to know you and see how well they work with you and how everyone’s personalities mesh. whereas wilhelmine shunned south germany, considering them to be “weak” and “soft” unlike the “hardened” north germans, lotor wanted preuzien and süddeutschland to have a strong allyship, and so he involved them in the hiring procedure for his new league. this means that not only are you taught some battling skills, you are also given extremely strenuous teambuilding exercises that test your ability to work alongside the gym leaders who will be your future colleagues--whether north (prussian) or south. afterward, you are moved on to the individual battles: unit-style battles in which you are first paired with someone whose type is weak to yours, then against someone whose type is neutral toward yours, then against someone whose type is strong against yours (or in the reverse order). after all the battles are concluded, the south german gym leader for each type has a conference with lotor and the prussian leaders about which six of the ten applicants for that type they would want to admit to the league. the bottom four candidates of each type are eliminated, and the top six move on to the free-for-all campaign.

the free-for-all campaign phase takes place over a period of one month per each group of 26, for a total of 3 months. basically, in each round, two trainers of each of the 13 contested types are thrown into a hunger games-like arena where their goal is to fight each other in a war campaign-like scenario for territory. each person starts out with three square miles to defend for a total of 78 square miles per arena. in addition, you are only given enough food and supplies to last for the first two weeks of the campaign, and if you want to have any more, you must take it at the start of the FFA campaign in an event that is similar to the cornucopia bloodbath in the hunger games.

the first two weeks are known as the “anarchy” phase. in this phase, anyone can attack or ally with anyone else, it’s just a complete and total clusterfuck. but at the end of the second week, when everyone’s preliminary supplies have run out and tempers are running high, lotor makes a surprise announcement that now everyone will be entering a “teamwork” phase. based on your interpersonal relationships in the mentorship period and throughout the anarchy phase, he then puts you in groups of 3 - 4 with the people that you get along with the LEAST. he says now you have to campaign against each other……and you will be judged on how well you work together, and that failure to show proper teamwork is grounds for disqualification from the process. so, to put it into perspective: you’re hungry, thirsty, tired, low on medicine, and now you not only have to work with & share your remaining supplies with a group of people you ABSOLUTELY HATE, you have to do it flawlessly because you won’t get the job if you don’t. lotor does things this way to test peoples’ teamwork skills in extreme ways that have not already been tested by the mentoring stage, and because he understands that in war and in life, sometimes you have to ally with people you may utterly loathe--you need to be able to do that if you want to survive. after each FFA campaign ends, lotor and his leaders review the candidates’ performances, and pick one person from each type to eliminate. the remaining candidates then proceed to what may be the worst part of this entire hiring process of all.

while candidates vie for the newly opened league positions, they do so in special dorms that the previous league built for their own hiring process. for the final stage of the process, the gym leaders literally wake you up at 3 AM and take you to a pale white decorationless waiting room, and put you under the impression that your application is in jeopardy. no one is allowed to speak. no one is allowed to eat or drink. no one is allowed to go to the bathroom. without any fanfare, over the speakerphones they invite you up into the adjoining room.

when you get there, you are told that you are being subjected to another “interview.” but something is wrong. you’re standing in the middle of a dark room, with nothing but a spotlight on you and a microphone for you to speak in. the leaders sit far above you, looking down, the light cast on their faces in a way that’s clearly meant to intimidate. and then when they open their mouths, in voices as hard and cold as ice, they subject you to nothing less than a verbal firing squad on almost every single personal detail of yourself and your values.

the fact that all your references were supposed to be your friends and family? yeah. this is why. while you were out campaigning (or spending the other part of those three months with the southern german gym leaders), lotor did his ahem “reference checks”--which is a real fancy way of saying that he sent professional interrogators & investigators to your friends and family to grill them on every weakness of your character and morality that hasn’t already been revealed. he and his gym leaders then reviewed the information, combined it with all the other data they have collected on you, and used it to pressure you in ANY WAY POSSIBLE to get you to CRACK. this phase is a test of your strength when your personal weaknesses are pushed, a test of how much you know about your own values and about ethics in general, a test of  whether/how you are willing to defend them. when the gym leaders are done with you, if you’ve performed to their satisfaction, they invite lotor into the room. he then proceeds to use everything he knows about you to TEAR YOU APART.

he will make you question your morals. he will make you question your very being. but above all, he is there to show you THE FEAR OF FACING YOURSELF. this is a man who, when his age was still in the single digits, learned how to push his therapists to quit on him in tears; you won’t stand a chance. when he does this, he either leads you into a back room or keeps you where you are--whichever one he thinks will hurt you more. for example, with the current dragon leader, wula feiyun, he led her into the back room because he wanted to isolate her from the leader she had bonded with--the poison leader, ngozi okocha. however, with marcia ferreira, the current grass leader, he kept her in the room with the other leaders because he knew she had a fear of being judged by others. he was kind and gentle and helpful when you knew him throughout the rest of the process; that man is gone when he faces you now, replaced by someone who is harsh and cold and cruel; it’s such a jarring contrast that he might as well be a stranger. he does not use your traumas or mental illnesses against you. he does not need to. during her session marcia glared at him and told him, “tell me i deserved my abuse. i dare you.” to which he replied, “i haven’t had to go that far in order to get you to SNAP.”

he has made people defecate themselves with the power of his words. he sends people running from that room in total meltdowns. they sprint out the door, or collapse in their chairs, chests heaving, faces in hands; you cannot say anything to them to ease their pain or your own, you can only sit in silence as they fill the lifeless room with screams and sobs. some are moved into a different room altogether as they await their results; those who await whatever torment lies in the dim-lit interrogation chamber are left thinking that the ones who don’t come back have gone on to see something worse. then when many hours have passed, when you have sat wordlessly awaiting the end of this ordeal, he brings every candidate into an auditorium. you go in, expecting the pain to continue…

…but you don’t get any pain. you get an explanation.

at the end, he sits everyone down and explains to them what he’s done. he tells them why he insisted that references are those who have known you personally, how he selected for his interviewers those who were professionally trained to psychoanalyze and gather information, why he insisted on putting everyone through such an ordeal. it becomes apparent at this point the extent to which He Doesn’t Trust Anybody: he is well aware of how many people like to lie and bullshit their way through job interviews, boasting of their accomplishments and good character…well, he says fuck off to that. in his interviews, in his hiring process, THE TRUE SELF IS REVEALED, the self laid bare by strife and fear. when your back is against the wall, you can’t bullshit a level of inner strength that you don’t have.

but there’s more to that. he says that the final trial is an interview and not a battle because of how much he prizes character. for it is not mere battling strength that makes a real league member; as he saw from the thousands of applicants, people with qualified resumés are a dime a dozen, but as proven by the process, only thirteen of those people have the necessary personality and understanding of values to truly succeed. he says that if they think he and his leaders were cruel or harsh or extreme or even unethical in that room or at any point during the process, what they went through there is NOTHING compared to the personal challenges they will face as leaders of preuzien. the region has gone through two horrific dictatorships--first at the hand of fascists, then at the hands of wilhelmine--and is only now getting the chance to heal and rebuild. the leaders who guide them through that healing must be ready to stand by their ethics and conquer their personal weaknesses no matter HOW much pressure they face--and they CANNOT FAIL.

do you know the apocalyptic power vested in this country? in its legendaries? he asks. do you know what it would mean for the leaders of the nation with some of the strongest and most misguided trainers in world history to fail their people at a critical time because they had a moment of incompetence or weakness? weakness is not an option. failure is not an option. failure to bring preuzien back from its past in ANY WAY will lead the country and perhaps the entire world to a fate worse than death. the gravity of that work, he tells you, demands the exactingness and extremeness inherent in his methods. only through the harshest trials of character can those who are truly ready be revealed. he is not like wilhelmine; he does not just want the best of the best to have the bragging rights to say his league is the strongest, both in terms of battling and personal strength. he wants his league to be the best of the best in every way because IT IS WHAT THE COUNTRY REQUIRES.

[fourteenacross]

end of 2019

I've done this survey every year since like, 2006 and then missed it last year because I was on a social media break. Whoops! My shitty memory makes it fairly important as a way to track the passage of time, so I'm back on the horse this year.

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? I'm sure there's some specific thing, but nothing's coming to me immediately. Oh, I guess I started cross stitching? Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I'm not sure what my resolutions were for last year because I did not write them anywhere because I did not do this meme /o\ Next year: + Set up some kind of writing schedule + Finish my mg novel + Survive moving + Get a new job + Go on more dates

eta: Outside of these sort of concrete, 2do-list type goals, I set some more nebulous personal goals on Twitter: - See my local friends outside of the BFC more often - Do weird, dumb shit - Be nicer to myself - Fix my meds - Bake something fancy(Okay, that last one is kind of 2do-listy.) Did anyone close to you give birth? YES!! @caphairdadbeard had a baby and he's perfect and I love him and it kills me that he's so far away and I only get to see him a few times a year, even more so than it usually kills me having Sarah so far away. Did anyone close to you die? My former roommate's father. I did a lot of family stuff with her over the decade that we lived together and spent a lot of time with her parents and he was super loved and admired by his community. A real shitty loss all around. What countries did you visit? Just the US, but I visited Seattle and Mississippi for the first time! What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? ~*~Financial security~*~ What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I'm so terrible with actual dates. May 9 was Max's birthday, so there's that? We did a lovely, successful live show on April 18. OH we went to Rent Live and had our wild weekend in LA on January 26. We watched a lot of wild movie musicals at Grace and Jesse's in July. I saw Blair Witch in the woods. I went down to the city to see Octet and Hadestown. Lisa moved in with me. Moby-Dick happened. Now I'm just listing events and not dates, but there you go. What was your biggest achievement of the year? God, do I even have one? I'm not dead, so that's probably something. Oh, I guess we had a really good WBS month where we were interviewed by Forbes.com, had one of our crossovers with IDEOTV, guest edited TBD, and had our live show. That was a really satisfying few weeks. What was your biggest failure? I'm haunted by this work thing I fucked up, even though everyone has told me it wasn't a big deal. I really crash and burned out for NaNo because SAD hit me way harder and faster this year than it has in the past. Did you suffer illness or injury? Lots of brain stuff, as per usual. A couple minor colds. My FAMILY on the other hand.... What was the best thing you bought? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Tickets to Octet, maybe. It was probably my favorite show of the year. The new chair/loveseat is also very good. Whose behavior merited celebration? Some of my friends. A lot of excellent activists. Sarah's baby (he's very good). Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Like, the whole government? Where did most of your money go? Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel. What did you get really, really, really excited about? LA, Octet, Max, DragonCon, Moby-Dick. Galentine's! What song will always remind you of 2019? Probably music from Octet? I don't like.....listen to the radio. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Probably about the same? Maybe more stressed out by family stuff going on and money stuff. b) thinner or fatter? Same. Also, I hate this question. 2020 Kaitlyn, delete it plz. c) richer or poorer? About to be poorer. What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing. Sleeping. Going on dates. Hanging out with people. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being depressed. Being stressed. Did you fall in love in 2019? Nope. What was your favorite TV program? If we're talking "currently airing" and not "things I bingewatch that are very old," probably The Good Place--OH I almost forgot Good Omens was this year!!! Also that! And I started watching Schitt's Creek and watched all of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Oh, and I started watching some videos on the Bon Appetit YouTube channel, mostly Gourmet Makes and Making Perfect and Reverse Engineering. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Mostly just like...........people I don't actually know who are terrible humans. What was the best book you read? Coming soon to a podcast feed near you! What was your greatest musical discovery? Probably Octet? I don't think I listened to a lot of new music this year. OH WAIT, The Highwomen!!! What a good album!!! (Also in doing the theatre section I just remembered Six was this year too!) What did you want and get? Mostly material things--clothes, cons, travel, seeing people, tickets to things, etc. Impeachment. Got that. That was nice. What did you want and not get? Financial security. A new job. Emotional stability. A relationship. More sleep. What was your favorite film of this year? Captain Marvel, although Us, Charlie's Angels, and The Wind were very good too. What was your favorite theatrical event of the year? Probably Octet! The broadway version of Hadestown was kind of disappointing compared to the 2016 NYTW version and Moby-Dick is great fun, but still pretty rough in places. Octet is just.....very good.  Oh, or SIX, that was great too! Octet or Six. Oh, and, jesus, this year was a hundred years long, I totally forgot we saw Denee as Eliza this year!! She was very good!! And I got to see Daniel Breaker as Burr again and I fucking love him. What was your favorite podcast of the year? The Empty Bowl, a meditative podcast about cereal. It is so good for zoning out and being calm. TAZ has been killing it with the one-shots and the Amnesty arc, too, and this was the first year I listened to MBMBaM weekly and also I mainlined all of Sawbones after listening to half of it, then not listening to any for six months, then deciding to start from the beginning again. Unwell is a really good show that I recommend, and Mabel. The Magnus Archives killed it with season four, which was tailored to my exact narrative tastes. MFM and Criminal are perpetual faves. American Hysteria was super interesting to go through and Bear Brook and In the Dark both obviously had fucking fantastic years. Oh, and Who the Hell is Hamish? that was fun too. And I’ll stop now.

I.....listen to a lot of podcasts. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34! On the day, I went out for dinner and drinks with some friends. That weekend, I bought a bunch of children's Captain Marvel birthday supplies and we played Jackbox games and ate cake! What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Any sort of fix to our current political mess. And/or financial stability. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? The "Whimsical" section on eShakti. What kept you sane? Friends! Podcasts! Anti-depressants! Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Brie Larson and Starr Busby are the first that spring to mind. What political issue stirred you the most? It’s hard to pick just one when the whole country is on fire. Who did you miss? Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last four years, but I’m keeping it because it’s still true.] Who was the best new person you met? Did I meet new people this year? I know I internet-met a couple people, but I'm not sure if I in-person made any new friends? We hung out with this girl Jenn at con a bunch, she was pretty cool! edit: oh my god MAX I met MAX this year because he did not exist last year!!! Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: Do not invite folks to sit on a panel unless you know they'll stick to the goddamn topic agreed on in advance. Quote a song that sums up your year: And no one grew into anything new / we just became the worse of what we were

(I think this is the third year in a row that Dave Malloy has been my lyric of the year.)

Anyway, that’s 2019 for me. I can’t say I’m sorry to see it go. The last half, in particular, was super rough. Hell, the last week was super rough--guess how many members of my family have been in the hospital in December! If you guessed “six” you would be correct!! (Everyone is more or less fine.) 

But, hey, it also brought me my tiny nephew and two Dave Malloy musicals, so it wasn’t all bad! 

I hope 2020 treats you all well, friends!

[hashtagsmitty]

Smitty's Thailand Adventure - Day 1

I'm inspired right now by Uncle Gilly's travel blogs. And since I'm in my hotel room at 11pm Thai time and nowhere near sleep despite being up for some ungodly number of hours, here we go!

Heading into this trip I was super anxious. I haven't gone overseas for 7 years, and I've never travelled alone before. It's not so bad since I'm hanging out with Josh the whole time, but it's still a bit weird. Plus, I don't speak a word of Thai. I'm sure that will be fine, but it's a bit iffy going in.

April and her mum drove me to the airport. We left early to make sure we'd get past any traffic. Plus, last time April and I went anywhere I fucked up the timing and we missed our flight. I guess that was on her mind? Long story short we were at the airport 3 hours early.

I got through security and check in fine. My passport photo is from when I was 21, with a baby face and bad hair. Some beefy security dude pulled me aside to scan my passport manually when the facial recognition shit didn't work. Slight monkas.

I got through fine, bought some Thai Baht and got jibbed on the exchange rate, and then went to the gate. I bought earbuds because I don't own any. It occurred to me later that I'd ordered the entertainment package on the plane which comes with them. It turned out being a good thing, because 3 hours is a long time to listen to airport sounds.

I walked around the terminal to get my bearings, then went to a café thing. It wasn't a real café, but it was close enough to make me comfortable. I got a steak, then sat down and started reading. I'm reading "Growth Mindset", a text about how the way you think about success and achievement is the biggest predictor for future successes and how you deal with failure. It's really interesting, lots of real-world examples, and I'm hyped to try to teach it to my new students.

The steak arrived. I asked for a steak knife and the poor waiter gave me the most embarrassed look. He went to check, then came back and said he wasn't allowed to hand out steak knives in the airport.

Thinking back, of course he wouldn't be, but in the moment it was a weird thing. I guess it felt too much like a real café?

2 hours left. I sat at the gate and read. I had pre-downloaded a whole bunch of Podcasts and music, too, so I was listening to music while I read and swapping to podcasts when I was bored. I kept checking the time because 2 hours is a goddamn long time to wait.

Eventually though the time ticked over and the JetStar dudes were calling for business class people. Before I could react, a whole bunch of vultures had lined up. Seriously like 100 people. I joined the line. They started calling for rows 44 to 57. I checked my ticket - row 57. I walked forward hesitantly, to see if I was allowed to cut the line and board. I pussied out and realized that I'd lost my place in line. I did a slow walk of shame to the back of the line. Then the Jetstar dude started walking down the line and calling for those rows. I cut the line and got on the plane. The dude checking tickets looked dead inside.

My seat was in the middle of the last row on the plane. Two old white dudes sat either side of me. Nobody spoke, as is appropriate. The dude to my right was a bit grumpy, and took up our entire overhead bin. I sat down after putting my bag away and started my music back up. While we were waiting for takeoff, I remembered my trip to Italy from when I was 16. I wasn't sitting next to anyone I knew for both of the 26 hour flights, but the in-flight entertainment had Pokemon Pinball, and I played the shit out of it. It sorta became a tradition when I fly, and I redownloaded the rom right before the plane took off.

It was good that I did, because the in-flight entertainment was garbage. I played chess, and the piece of shit computer played the same opening against me twice. The only difference between medium and hard was that it took 2 minutes to decide each move on hard. I played two games then quit.

The flight was boring. At the end, the pilot had to do some stupid holding pattern because the flight was early:

The green circle bit was repeated 5 times. It added like an hour to the flight. It sucked being so close and having to wait so long. Speaking of waiting so long, being at the very end of the plane meant waiting 10 minutes to get off, and then waiting longer while people only grabbed their bags once they were supposed to move. Monsters.

Disembarked, went through immigration with no problems. The dude who waved me through was being so slow with his line. I held my passport open to the photo page when I gave it to him and he closed it when he took it. Awkward.

Customs didn't exist. Just walked straight out.

I met up with Josh. He was on the opposite side of the airport to where I came out. There were stacks of dodgy WiFi networks to sort through to find the one non-dodgy one. I felt like having to fight through 12 phishing networks before I left the airport was a bit much.

Josh and I got Korean chicken at the airport. It was okay, I'm not big on chicken with sauces. Or sauces in general. Or most foods in general. But, I felt like I should just dive in and broaden my comfort zone a bit. It was pretty good chicken. I'm sure it would be better at a non-airport franchise.

We caught a taxi to my hotel. Josh is staying in an AirBNB somewhere else. On the way Josh talked a bit to the taxi driver. She didn't speak any English and he barely speaks Thai, but she got us to our destination fine. It really drove (dwoop) home how foreign this place is, and how screwed I'd be if not for Josh living here. The taxi driver was not great. She was driving in two lanes for most of the trip, and I don't think I heard her indicate. The traffic lights have a dank coloured countdown for how long until the lights change. We need that in Melbourne.

We got dropped off at a skytrain station. It was attached to a huge shopping center like Melbourne Central. It was pretty sweet - I'd like to check it out when I'm less fried.

The streets looked pretty low-tier, but Josh said that it was average for Thailand, and that the closer you are to main roads or train lines, the nicer it is.

I needed toothpaste, and Josh insisted I get a local SIM card, so we went into 7-11. Josh explained that they're actually really cheap and good quality here. While we were sorting out the SIM card, the clerk needed to see my passport and take a photo for me to be able to buy it. It was weird, but everyone acted like it was normal, so whatever. The same thing happened at the hotel. Josh said they send the info to the government, but didn't say why. The clerk called me handsome in Thai as we were leaving. We got some weird salt toothpaste that Josh swore by. He said the first time was meh but the second time is amazing.

I was warned that there would be "massage parlors" on the street my hotel is on. Josh said the girls out the front would go out of their way to make me uncomfortable, and double so if we ignored them. We just stayed in the other side of the road instead.

The hotel is okay. Bed isn't great, but there's air con and a hair dryer. And a bidet, which I'm excited to try.

It feels lonely up here on my own. Like I said, I haven't travelled solo before, so it's a new experience. Bros will get a video tour of the room when I'm awake - it's 4am AUS time and I'm so fried. Gotta avoid that jet lag though, so normal sleep times.

I tried the salt toothpaste. It was okay.

[starlightsoulwriting]

Chaos Theory

Chapter Two - Cycnus

A/n: another week another chapter! I hope you all enjoy this installment. Things are still being set up here but they’ll get exciting soon I promise.

Masterlist

Crossposted on AO3

Liana was cold again. Stupid fucking Perkins - why did he always make everything more difficult than it had to be? They had been sitting in the cold for hours, and while she’d been through worse during her time in the air force, she was still pissed as all hell to be stuck out in the snow. She would shoot the man herself if that didn’t mean getting everyone on the ground killed. At least Josh had been kind enough to help her build a fire for herself out of old shipping pallets before joining the rest of Jericho.

Putting down her binoculars, Liana reached into her pack and pulled out a meal bar. She checked her watch as she ate the poor excuse for proper nutrition.

She looked at her watch. 10:45 PM. Thirty minutes to showtime. Hopefully, the androids (or herself) wouldn’t get fucking shot again. However, considering the public reaction to Markus’ past transgressions, it was unlikely they would make it out of this alive.

Shitheads.

Simon and North were noticeably absent; however, Liana wasn’t overly upset at their death. She was more bitter over the fact that it ruined her plans, and made her life harder. Things really never went her way these days.

She wished that after the revolution was over the rest of androids would become a bit more independent in their thoughts, but hey, she couldn't fault Jericho for trusting their leader, Markus. she was from the Air Force, she could relate. Her Major was unconventional, though (like her entire division, actually) and appreciated officers who had their own brains. She had actually had to override him a time or two - if only to prevent someone or something from exploding, disintegrating, or for counteracting the rare weaponized black hole, of course. He wasn’t a scientist and sometimes needed a kick in the ass from someone with the right knowledge base to make a proper decision. Her Colonel was an astrophysicist though, so it balanced out.

It was times like these, though, that she wished she had never joined the military. Would’ve made getting past this day a whole hell of a lot easier. But as she waited for the clock to hit 11:26 PM so she could speak to Connor, all she could do was wait.

It seems like that was the one thing she was good at recently. she pulled out a clear tablet from her overstuffed bag and began to write in an encrypted journal file.

November 11, 10:53 PM

Mission Status: Failure. North and Simon dead. Public opinion negative.

Only hope is Connor. Hope my advice kept him alive somehow. God knows he can be bullheaded when he was to be. If he dies again I’m going to lose my shit.

And she wrote as the clock ticked on.

Cyberlife Tower, 10:58 PM

Naturally, Connor had made it past the elevator - no one could expect anything else from Cyberlife’s finest strategist.

But as he walked through the rows of blank-face androids, Connor began to find himself distracted. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had done this before, in a dream he couldn't even have.

His thoughts drifted to the strange woman who had confronted him earlier. He hadn’t taken his jacket off when he got off the elevator like Lt. Haywood had told him to, but he had been sure to disable the security cameras in the elevator. It was only common sense.  Still, the prickling of nerves and curiosity pooled in the back of his mind. So far the things Lt. Haywood had said could be written off as coincidence. He had no reason to listen to or trust her.

A voice called out and another Rk800 reveals himself, holding Hank at gunpoint.

He wouldn't let anyone hurt Hank.

So, of course, like any sane person would do, Connor dropped kicked his twin, leading to an infuriating mirror match with neither android gaining the upper hand.

And then Hank had the gun trained on them. Connor would be fine as long as Hank could parse out him from the fake.

Easy.

Suddenly he could see the advantage of not wearing identical clothing as his imposter.

But there was no way anyone but Cyberlife could have known that the other Connor would be waiting for him, a thoroughly pissed-off Hank in tow. He had to silence the whispers and warnings of ‘spy’ that ran through his head. Even if they could know, he couldn't fathom how someone would know it would come down to telling the two of them apart.

Connor forced his racing mind to still. He had to focus on the present, not mull over the words of a crazy person and whether or not they were engaged in espionage.

Connor obviously knew Sumo’s name - the fact he had learned it himself, instead of having it uploaded to secondary memory, gave him a distinct time advantage over Connor-60, even if only by milliseconds. He just hoped Hank would notice that.

Then Hank opened his mouth, gaze hard, skeptical - everything in his turbulent human mind focusing on deducing who the impostor was. “My son, what’s his name?”

And just like that, Connor’s processors were firing at a million miles a minute again. He managed to spit out the name he learned a mere hour and a half before, and he told Hank things the man already knew, and, from everything he knew from his research, that it wasn’t his fault that Cole had died.

Apparently, the emotion in his voice and words convinced his friend who was who, because he shot Connor-60 promptly, ignoring his protests that he would have said the same as the deviant. However, Connor was busy just trying to make sense of the information he had received from Lt. Haywood. There was no scientific evidence for any form of clairvoyance to exist. Did the Air Force order one of the new Oracle computers? What do they care about him, specifically? Were there even variables as small as him and Hank in those simulations, full with personality and motivations?

No, there weren’t. The Oracles worked on a larger scale than that, global events and disasters.

Connor’s only possible reaction to conflicting conclusions could only be summed up along the lines of ‘what the fuck’ - Hank was perhaps rubbing off on him too much. But still, he couldn’t come up with an explanation for the Doctor’s supposed, unexplainable foresight. He certainly looked forward to their next conversation, if only to get answers out of her. He just hoped that he wouldn’t fry his circuits overthinking before then.

He had a mission to finish.

Elsewhere, on a rooftop overlooking Recall Center number 5, Liana Haywood watched helplessly as the last forces of Jericho were cornered by the National Guard. So many were already shot or blown and all she could do was either stand by and watch or get shot herself.

The soldiers backed them against one of the crates of the barricade, the androids holding their hands up and waiting to die.

“Stay hidden,” Josh’s voice rang out through the radio, surprisingly even. He stood next to Markus on the ground, shoulders back and head high.

And they just stood there as they got shot.

“Fuck,” She hissed, launching her radio at the wall in frustration. They were gone. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

Fucking Perkins.

The sight of bodies and the thirium soaked pavement had long since stopped being upsetting to her, though. She had seen it too many times before. But for some reason every time she expected it to end differently than she knew it would - that some butterfly flapped its wings in Africa and they wouldn’t be gunned down.

At least they hadn't nuked Detroit though.

As the bodies of her friends were rounded up into trucks and hauled away, she moved to lay herself face-up on the concrete. Her glassy hazel eyes gave a thousand-yard stare at the cloudy night sky, she had to force her mind away from her angry, hopeless, depression riddled thoughts. Wind still blew her hair. Cold still stung her cheeks. Snowflakes still fell on her sallow face and clung to her lashes. But for now, she would lay and wait.

That was all she could do.

11:18 PM

Tags: @rk800downloading  oolallama1398

[nortromthesilencer]

GET TO KNOW YOU QUESTIONS MEME

Doing this for my Nort boy

1. What is your favorite time of year? “Harvest, due to the over-abundance of baking available.”

2. Do you have a favorite season? “Spring.”

3. What is your favorite holiday? “I tend to ignore holidays.”

4. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? “I haven’t tried many, but will say vanilla.”

5. What is your favorite thing to eat? “Venison and pastries.”

6. Where were you born? “At the Aeol Drias compound.”

7. Do you have any siblings? What are they like? “Yes. We were more alike than I would care to admit.”

8. What is your middle name? “I have none.”

9. Where are you from? “I was raised in the Hazhadal Barrens.”

10. What were some of your favorite things to do growing up? “Not being yelled at or goaded..”

11. Where did you go to school? “A cantonment in the Barrens.”

12. What was your favorite subject? “Oddly enough, physical training.”

13. What was your least favorite subject? “Magic studies.”

14. Did you have any fashion faux pas in high school? “I wore a uniform. No.”

15. What did you like to wear when you were growing up? “I didn’t care so long as it fit.”

16. Were you more of a rebel, jock, or nerd in high school? “Er... An outcast? A nerd? I am unsure.”

17. Do you still keep in touch with anyone from school? “Unfortunately yes, due to necessity in duty.”

18. Were you ever a teacher’s pet? “Hardly.”

19. Have you ever accidentally seen someone naked? “Yes.”

20. Has anyone ever accidentally seen you naked? “Yes.”

21. What is the most trouble that you got into at school? “Can I skip this question? I would think it rather obvious...”

22. If you could do high school all over again, would you? “No.”

23. Do you play any musical instruments? “No.”

24. Do you know any other languages? “Yes.”

25. Do you have a famous role model? “No.”

26. Have you ever lived in another country before? “I have made temporary stays in many areas around the world.”

27. What is the longest amount of time that you spent in another country? “A few years.”

28. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? “Alone. Besides that, my requirements are rather lax.”

29. What is one thing on your bucket list? “The visit the Vale of Augury.”

30. Where would you like to retire? “I doubt that will ever happen.”

31. Do you have kids? “No.”

32. Do you want kids one day? How many? “No.”

33. Do you have any ideas for baby names? “No.”

34. What kind of parent do you think you’d be? “A bad one.”

35. Do you like to dance? “No, though I was required to learn formal dancing for etiquette reasons.”

36. Do you like to sing karaoke? “No.”

37. Do you like to cook? “No.”

38. Do you have a favorite author? “There are too many I enjoy to select just one.”

39. What kind of music do you like? “Most harp music.”

40. What do you like to do in your free time? “Read, carpentry and wood carving, going for walks, meditating.”

41. Where is the last place you traveled to? “The Ruelands.”

42. What was your last vacation like? “I don’t tend to take vacations.”

43. Do you have any pets? “Yes. A cat.”

44. Do you like cats or dogs? “Cats, though I have nothing against dogs.”

45. Are you afraid of mice? “No.”

46. Are you afraid of spiders? “As of recently, yes.”

47. Do you have a nickname? What is it? “... Ugh. Some fools have started to spread ‘Nortie’ around, and I despise it.”

48. What is your favorite color? “I don’t have one.”

49. What is a big pet peeve of yours? “Being called ‘Nortie’, loud chewing, people making noise for no reason, and many others. I’m an irritable person.“

50. Do you have any guilty pleasures? “I am unsure what would count here. I find guilt in many of my pleasures, as they distract from my duties.”

51. Do you have any favorite TV shows? “Favourite what now?”

52. What is your favorite movie? “You’ve lost me.”

53. Do you know how to swim? “Yes.”

54. Are you athletic? “Yes.”

55. What are your favorite stores to shop at? “I tend not to shop much for anything but the essentials.”

56. What is one of your most embarrassing moments? “I would think having the entire damned population told that they should ‘fuck me’ followed up by knocking myself unconscious in frustration would rank fairly high.”

57. What is your favorite food? “You’ve already asked this in a different manner of wording.”

58. Are you an adventurous eater? “Not really.”

59. Would you ever participate in an eating contest? “No.”

60. What is something that you eat on a regular basis? “Root vegetables, as they keep for long periods.”

61. What would you want your last meal to be? “A rare prime rib with-- oh, now what was that called? Hmm... I have no idea at all what the meal was, nor how to cook it, but during one of the more formal dinner gatherings hosted by one of our allies I accompanied the HeadMaster and whatever it was we ate it was simply divine.”

62. What is the most unusual thing that you have eaten? “A tree.”

63. If you could be a superhero, what superpower would you want? “Invisibility perhaps, so that none could see nor bother me.”

64. Would you rather be able to turn invisible or be able to fly? “See above.”

65. What is the longest that you have gone without sleep? “Nearly a week. It was not pleasant.”

66. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? “A few minutes? Putting on clothing and running a brush through my hair isn’t exactly time consuming.”

67. What is one of your recent accomplishments? “Er... Surviving another day?”

68. How old were you when you learned the truth about Santa Claus? “About who now?”

69. Did you have a favorite TV show when you were growing up? “There is that word again. I don’t know.”

70. Do you like to collect anything (i.e. coins, stamps, rare books, etc.) “No... Wait, no, that’s a lie. I collect gags of various types and colours.”

71. What are 3 things that you would take with you on a deserted island? “My glaive, A flint and steel fire starter, and a large bearskin blanket.”

72. Who was your first celebrity crush? “Does a princess count?”

73. Who is your current celebrity crush? “See above.”

74. Have you ever met a famous person? “Many.”

75. If you could see one band or musician in a concert, who would it be? “I don’t know.”

76. Have you ever had front-row seats to a show (play or concert)? “No.”

77. Have you ever failed to return a library book? “... ... ... ...yes.”

78. Have you ever had (orthodontic) braces? “No.”

79. Do you have any phone numbers memorized? “Any what?”

80. What is something you have done that you would never do again? “Get in to a relationship with a daemon.”

81. Do you have any irrational fears? “I would think them all rational, but failure is the closest I can think of.”

82. What kind of childhood did you have? “A strict and tumultuous one.”

83. What is one of your biggest accomplishments? “Graduation.”

84. What is the first website that you go on at the beginning of the day? “Website?”

85. Besides your e-mail, what are 3 websites that you always check every day? “E-mail? Website?”

86. Do you think that you spend more than 1 hour a day on the internet? “I’m starting to feel like you’re speaking another language at times.”

87. Do you like to play video games? “... Still confused.”

88. How many people have you dated? “2.”

89. If you got engaged, how long would you want to wait before getting married? “As long as needed. I’m in no rush.”

90. What kind of wedding would you want? “A simple one.”

91. What is your idea of a good proposal? “I don’t know. Something overly sappy, and most likely would end up involving me tripping over my words in utter bashfulness. The usual.”

92. If you are a guy, would you ever want a girl to propose to you? “I would be fine with that.”

93. If you are a girl, would you ever propose to a guy? “...”

94. Have you ever been with the same gender? “Not by choice.” *shudder*

95. What is your favorite pair of shoes? “My combat boots.”

96. Have you ever won an award for anything? “No.”

97. Do you think you are like your parents? How so? “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never met them.”

98. Have you had any big life changes recently? “How recent are we talking?”

99. What is something that you feel passionate about? “My Order and my duty to them.”

100. What kind of animal would you be? “Oddly enough this has come up before. I think a mountain lion was the ultimate decision.”

101. What is something that can make you really mad? “Arrogance.”

102. Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? “I see it as not mattering.”

103. If you had to give up one of your five senses for the rest of your life, which one would it be: sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell? “While many might think I would pick sound, it is useful in combat and many of my duties. I would have to go with taste, as it is the least useful of my senses for what I do.”

104. Would you rather be blind or deaf? “Deaf.”

105. If you could live in a book, what would it be? “Something peaceful. I am unsure.”

106. Which family member are you closest to? “This hurts me.”

107. What would you do if you had a million dollars? “Same thing I do now: Not spend it.”

108. What is something that holds you back in life? “Myself.”

109. What is a perfect day for you? “Brutalizing members of the Fold, eating a good meal, then relaxing in a hot-springs to wash away the blood.”

110. What is something that you would love to learn how to do? “I guess cooking would be useful, but also a waste of time? Perhaps something more suited to my duties, something combat related.”

111. Do you prefer the countryside or an urban setting? “The Countryside is much quieter.”

112. What is your favorite kind of candy? “I don’t have one.”

113. What do you like to eat for breakfast? “Eggs, bacon, and an apple.”

114. If you had one week left to live, what would you do? “Take as many Fold members down with me as I could.”

115. If you could get into a time machine, would you rather travel back in time to the 1900’s, 1920’s, or 1950’s? “This dating convention doesn’t match my world.”

116. Do you ever sing in the shower? “No.”

117. If you could choose how it would happen, how would you want to die? “From exhaustion after I have taken out Obelis himself.”

118. Would you ever want to be famous? What for? “No.”

119. What qualities do you look for in a friend? “Loyalty.”

120. What qualities do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? “See above. I would like that we share a sentimental bond and attraction for one another as well, both emotionally and physically. I am more interested in women who have their own lives, their own interests, their own hobbies, than ones that merely live life day by day doing whatever those near them tend to do.”

121. How much do you care about looks when it comes to finding a boyfriend or girlfriend? “I will admit, I do care somewhat. In time, however, and knowing an individual, this may change. I wouldn’t know, as the situation has never come up.”

122. When dating someone, is weight a big deal to you? “I want a partner that is healthy.”

123. Do you like to go to the gym? “I tend to work out at home.”

124. Do you like to go to concerts? “No.”

125. Do you like to go see plays? “Rarely.”

126. Do you like to go to the movies? “...”

127. Are you close to your family? “No, by no choice of my own.”

128. When is the last time you cried? “Sooner than I would like to admit.”

129. If you died tonight, would you have any regrets? “Many.”

130. If your house was on fire, what is one possession (not a person or pet) that you would save? “The memorial to my brother.”

131. Do you prefer to dress up or dress down? “Dress down.”

132. If there was one event in history you could prevent, what would it be? “It’s hard to choose. Stop the Mad Moon from cracking? Stop the Fold from being created? Save my brother before he descended into madness? Hmm...”

133. Name a celebrity that you would want to be best friends with. “I ask again, does a Princess count?”

134. How do you think the world will be different in 50 years? “If we think the conflicts now are bad, just wait until technology and magic evolve.”

135. What is something that draws you to people? “Intelligence, and positivity.”

136. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Do you think he or she knew? “No.”

137. Do you remember who your first crush was? “Yes. No other comment.”

138. What is one place that you have traveled to? “One? Er, Elze?”

139. Would you ever date someone who has been married before? “I suppose.”

140. Would you ever date someone who is still married? “No.”

141. Would you ever date someone who has kids? “Most likely not; Well, if the kids were still with them.”

142. How many kids would you want? “You asked this on 32.”

143. Do you like to sing karaoke? “Again, a repeat. See 36.”

144. Do you have any favorite karaoke songs? “I don’t have one.”

145. If you had your own holiday, what would be a required activity? “Being silent for the entire day.”

146. What would a holiday named after you be called? “I don’t know. The day of silence and listening?”

147. Were you brought up in a particular religion? “No, but I was raised in strong compliance to my Order.”

148. Are you religious? “No.”

149. Do you believe in an afterlife? “Given what I’ve seen, yes.”

150. Do you believe in God? “Which one?”

151. Do you like rainy days? “Yes.”

152. Do you like snow? “To a point.”

153. Tell me about your worst weather experience. “Traveling across the mountains and getting chased down by a mud slide due to heavy rains, that then made it too slick and sticky to even climb over the pass.”

154. Have you ever ridden a horse? “Yes.”

155. Do you like rollercoasters? “I am unsure what that is.”

156. Have you ever gone scuba diving? “No.”

157. Have you ever gone rock climbing? “I’ve climbed, but not for sport.”

158. Have you ever climbed a mountain? “Yes.”

159. Do you know how to bake? “No.”

160. Do you know how to cook? “No.”

161. What is your favorite dish to make? “Anything I can’t screw up easily.”

162. What do you usually do for the holidays? “Stay inside and relax.”

163. What are your parents like? “I feel like you asked this already... Or something similar.”

164. What are/were your grandparents like? “Again, never met them, wouldn’t know.”

165. What was your first job? “For pay? Soldiers work.”

166. What was your worst job? “Being liaison to another kingdom’s duchess... A very flirty, very prone to drinking, duchess.”

167. What was your first car? “I’ve never had one.”

168. How old were you when you got your driver’s license? “Er...”

169. How many times did you have to take your driving test? “Errr......”

170. Have you ever gotten a driving ticket? “Errrrrr.........”

171. What is your dream car? “I don’t have one.”

172. What is your dream home like? “Smaller, but with enough space for crafting, a small study and book nook, a large storage cellar, and away from most distractions. Preferably somewhere I can be self sustaining for the most part.”

173. Who is the last person you spoke on the phone with? “Phone?”

174. Where would you want to retire? “See number 30. You really should be more careful about repeating questions.”

175. How do you like to exercise? “Mostly using nature around me to act as weights and stands.”

176. Are you double jointed? “No.”

177. Are you a lefty, righty, or ambidextrous? “Left handed.”

178. If you could change your first or last name, what would you change it to? “I wouldn’t.”

179. If you could, would you want to be immortal? “Given that I--- No, nevermind. It’s not a pretty fate, to be sure, but a necessity.”

180. What would be the title of your autobiography? “Silent musings. The pages would be all blank.”

181. When did you have an experience that ultimately made you a stronger person? “I would say graduation cemented my will.”

182. What is one of the best meals that you have ever had? “See 61.”

183. What is something that you learned recently? “That Keen’s hate having their technology compared to magic.”

184. Do you have a favorite restaurant? “No.”

185. What is your least favorite food? “I dislike oranges.”

186. What is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to you? “I-- I don’t know.”

187. What is the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you? “Any comment about being useless tends to cut deep.”

188. How would you describe yourself in one word? “Sardonic.”

189. What instrument would you want to play? “I find the harp most agreeable, but doubt I could ever learn.”

190. What music did you like to listen to as a teenager? “None.”

191. What would you do if you were a millionaire for one day? “The same thing I do now.”

192. Do you like public displays of affection or do they bother you? “By others? I care not, so long as I’m not involved.”

193. How do you show someone that you care about them? “By attempting to be there for them, and protecting them.”

194. What is one fashion trend that you like? “I don’t care much about fashion.”

195. What is one fashion trend that you don’t like? “Likewise.”

196. Do you have any weird talents? “I can bend my feet over my head.”

197. What is your favorite dance move? “The one where I don’t have to dance.”

198. How do you know when you like someone? “I don’t always. It’s complicated.”

199. What is your favorite childhood movie? “?”

200. What is your favorite thing from your closet? “A simple pair of beige slacks.”

201. Do you have any phobias? “Due to recent traumas, Spiders. Besides that? Abandonment and betrayal.”

202. Would you ever want to live with your parents again? “I never did in the first place.”

203. What is your favorite way to eat an egg? “Would it be disgusting to say raw?”

204. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? “Baked?”

205. Do you have a favorite condiment? “No. Maybe mustard.”

206. Do you prefer hamburgers or hot dogs? “Hamburgers.”

207. Who is someone that you really miss? “... I think it would be obvious if you knew me.”

208. What is something that you wish you could change about yourself? “Less irritable.”

209. Who is the worst neighbor you ever had? “Some asshole who insisted on hosting drunken parties every week.”

210. Would you ever go bungee jumping? “Maybe.”

211. What is your favorite movie genre? “Again, Movie. I don’t know that word.”

212. Have you ever milked a cow? “Yes.”

213. Do you know how to sew? “Barely. Just enough to temporarily patch things, or fix buttons.”

214. Do you follow politics and current events? “Only as duty dictates.”

215. What are your favorite pajamas? “My underwear.”

216. What is the worst thing that you ever cooked? “Everything.”

217. Pick one thing that you would love to win a lifetime supply of. “Whetstones.”

218. Have any of your views changed over the years? “Changed, not so much. Softened? Yes.”

219. What was your hometown like? Is it any different there now? “Dusty. Warm during the day, cold a night. Quiet, but I liked that. It’s been some time since I’ve returned there.”

220. What is the funniest prank that you have ever done? “With Jin’jakk I dropped a wasp nest into Invoker’s home through his chimney... Well alright, it was funny until he destroyed my own house with fire in retaliation.”

221. Did you ever do anything to earn money when you were a kid? “No. I was provided for so long as I continued my studies.”

222. How do you spend your birthdays? “I only just recently learnt that those were things to be celebrated.”

223. Have you ever had a surprise party? “No.”

224. What did you do for your last birthday? “Rahovart brought me a small pie and we shared it.”

225. Do you remember the first time that you were away from home? “If I count the Cantonment as my home, then yes. We traveled in town for both lessons and trade.”

226. Do you have any funny stories about your family? “My brother once waxed all of my body hair against my will. He thought it was hilarious. I hated every second.”

227. Have you ever been to summer camp?” “No.”

228. Have you ever gone camping before? Would you do it again? “Most of my patrols and travels are spent camping.”

229. What was one of your best dates? “While a few come to mind, the aftermath of events leave such memories jaded. I am sorry, but I would rather skip this question.”

230. What was one of your worst dates? “Being abducted and forced to ‘enjoy myself’ despite being tied up and there against my will.”

231. What was your high school mascot? “My what?”

232. What was/is your dream university? “All of my schooling was done by my Order. There were no options.”

233. If you could participate on a game show, which show would it be? “I wouldn’t.”

234. If you could be in a T.V. show, which ones would it be? “T.V?”

235. Would you rather stand out in the freezing cold with just a bathing suit on or stand out in the hot sun with layers of clothing and a coat? “Hypothermia or hyperthermia. Heatstroke or frostbite. What wonderful choices. I guess the heat, as I could easily remove clothing, where as procuring clothing in the cold would be more difficult.”

236. What is your favorite animal? “Cats I guess.”

237. What is usually your first thought when you wake up in the morning? “Where my pants are.”

238. Do you believe in aliens? “I’ve seen creatures from other worlds and spaces. So, yes?”

239. Do you believe in magic? “This is a stupid question, of course given that it’s not a matter of belief: Magic just is.”

240. Have you ever had your fortune told? If not, would you do it? “Yes, by Nerif.”

241. Do you believe in psychics? “Given the array of powers that exist, yes, I could see it.”

242. Do you believe in paranormal creatures? “Again, I’ve met some, so yes.”

243. How do you like to spend the weekend? “Reading, working on side projects, in quiet.”

244. If you could get a completely new wardrobe, what would you buy for yourself? “Nothing beyond what I already have really.”

245. Do you have any exciting plans coming up? “That’s confidential.”

246. Would you ever get someone’s name tattooed on you? “No.”

247. Would you get a face tattoo that covers half of your face and never have it removed for $10,000,000? “No.”

248. Have you ever kissed someone at midnight on New Year’s? “Once.”

249. How do you like to spend Valentine’s Day? “As of right now? Alone. If I were in a stable relationship, I’m sure that would change.”

250. Do you like to dress up for Halloween? “No.”

251. Have you ever dressed up in a couples costume or a group costume? “No.”

252. If you lost your job today, what would you do? “In this case, my job is my duty and honour to my Order. If I lost that, I doubt I would find my life with much meaning or worth.”

253. Have you ever lived with a significant other? “No.”

254. Have you ever had to share a room with someone? “Yes.”

255. Have you ever had a roommate? “Yes.”

256. Have you ever kissed on the first date? “Yes.”

257. Have you ever done more than kiss on the first date? “No.”

258. What is the most casual date that you have been on? “Getting ice-cream and just sitting outside and enjoying eachother’s company.”

259. What is the fanciest date that you have been on? “Carriage and coach, fine dining, outdoor hotsprings, followed by a night in a private lodge overlooking the woods.”

260. How do you like to celebrate anniversaries (if you have had any)? “I don’t.”

261. How much does it matter to you that your family and friends like your significant other? “They would have to get along with my Order, or it wouldn’t work.”

[soukitas]

tagged by @toshiiros

i’ll tag: @parurushi @bluecloud757 @takasuga @takasukis @uhoh-bitch @plainyogurtonthekfcdollarmenu AND HONESTLY I CAN’T MAKE IT TO 20 IM A SOCIAL FAILURE 

RULES: ANSWER THESE 85 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

THE LAST

1. DRINK: Water 2. PHONE CALL: Lil sis 3. TEXT MESSAGE: My mandarin class gang group chat  4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Noche de entierro - Daddy Yankee (i’m too latina im sorry)  5. TIME YOU CRIED: 20 mins ago bc i read new gintama manga  6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nah 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: NAAAH 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: ya lmao like 6 years ago 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: this year was 5 years ago  10. BEEN DEPRESSED: every fucking time 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: September 16th, 2016. #NeverForget

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Purple 13. Blue 14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yes 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yes 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: no 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Nah my main hoes been w me for years 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: yes 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: yeah

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: Most of them 95%  23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: A kitten and a senior dog  24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Yeah but for my surname 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: GOT DRUNK AF W THE GANG  26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 10:30 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching porn i think 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: independence  29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: weekly recommendations plylist on spotify 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: no 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: My sister complaining that my mum won’t let her do stuff that’s clearly stupid  34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: tumblr, facebook, kira-teachings 35. HAIR COLOUR: brunette  36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long 37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: no 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m meme funny  39. PIERCINGS: no 40. BLOOD TYPE: A+ 41. NICKNAME: Morgan 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single 43. ZODIAC: Aries 44. PRONOUNS: whatever rows ur boat  45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: PARKS AND REC  46. TATTOOS: not yet 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: Right 48. SURGERY: eye surgery  50. SPORT: football (soccer) and karate  51. VACATION: i want to meet the snow. . . 52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: no

MORE GENERAL

53. EATING: nothin’ it’s late 54. DRINKING: water 55. I’M ABOUT TO: sleep but idk  56. WAITING FOR: my ass to get up  57. WANT: TO BUY ME THE NINTENDO SWITCH         58. GET MARRIED: only if i’m SURE it’s the right person (doubt it will happen)  59. CAREER: Whatever in business or digital marketing  60. HUGS OR KISSES: hugs 61. LIPS OR EYES: Eyes 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: older 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: in the middle? bc im a trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. KISSED A STRANGER: no 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: im mexican tf u think (ya)  69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: No but funny story i once dropped my glasses at the bottom of a waterfall and i WENT TO LOOK FOR THEM AND FOUND THEM  70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yes 71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nah (am virgin)  72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Not purposedly  73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: what heart 

74. BEEN ARRESTED: no 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: totes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. YOURSELF: half the time i do the other half i dont  78. MIRACLES: yes 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Attraction, not love  80. SANTA CLAUS: no :(  81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: YA 82. ANGELS: yeah 

OTHER:

84. EYE COLOUR: dark brown 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: Howl’s moving castle 

[hmpygssy]

I dare you to pick either the Sondheim asks or the Shakespeare asks and answer all of them. You don't have to answer the weird sexual ones for the Sondheim if you don't want to, though

1: Least favorite thing about your favorite SS showPassion, that a lot of people unfairly dismiss it2: Favorite thing about your least favorite SS showI know roadshow least so let's go w that... I think it does a really good job at compressing the lives of the characters, also Weidman's books are always so singular I love it 3: Best SS characterBuddy Plummer4: Worst characterToby Sweeney Todd 5: Favorite collaboratorLapine6: Best book of a SS show. Why?I'm gonna throw a curb ball here and say Forum... that Shows Fucking Hilarious 7: Worst book....Company 8: Erase one show and all its traces from SS's canon (question courtesy of @non-binary-sally-bowles)Merrily. Then I wouldn't have to be sad about those kids and worried about my future bc of the documentary9: If he ever jumped the shark, what show is emblematic of that?Either bunuel sucks or he never lost his magic 10: Favorite bitchy momentWhen he sent Mandy patinkin an angry letter for writing notes in the front row at the first preview of assassins 11: Who would SS marry as part of a sham marriage?Obviously lee remick12: Thoughts on the book to FolliesDepends on which one we're talking about here. I think it's Generally Good but it really depends on the production13: Make one edit to SS show xxxPacific overtures, take out there is no other way, so only I could listen to it for the rest of my life 14: What would SS do to you in the sex dungeon?Whip me for saying I prefer Evita to Sweeney todd15: Cast Patti in a role she hasn't done yetSarah Jane Moore16: Which Tony would you take awayI would take away company's best musical score and give it to Sunday 17: Novel/book/play SS should adaptEva Peron's biography 18: Favorite quoteAnything you do let it come from you then it will be new 19: Desert island song (singular)Now/later/soon20: On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being Foxy Sondheim and 10 being the Virgin Mary, rate how good of a mother Rose is421: What's your gimmick?Y'all know my gimmick (e***** a**)22: Nervous breakdown song that best represents your last mental breakdownThe god-why-don't-you-love-me blues23: Has SS ever written a true love song?If we're countin this show, then Maria from west side story24: SS sex jamPlease hello25: SS funeral jamScary Sweeney a little priest26: SS wedding dance songYou're gonna love tomorrow/love will see us through... I love Irony27: Toss in the trash- his music or his lyricsLyrics. Sondheim overtures fuck me up every time 28: Which SS do you perform in front of crowdEvery single one of them29: Which SS song replaces Don't Cry for Me, Argentina in Evita?Unworthy of your love, the first verse is Eva singing to argentina, second verse is singing to peron30: Choose a ALW song to replace Color and Light in SITPWGI don't know how to love him, george and dot sing it to each other 31: Which Brecht play does SS adapt at gunpointMother courage 32: SS's current thoughts on Lady GagaShe should be in the Sweeney Todd revival... as the pie33: What pastry do you order at Mahler's?The symphony 534: What would Oscar have made of Follies?I think he would've liked it, esp. if he could compare it's failure to allegro's35: FMK: SS, Hal Prince, and James LapineF lapeen m Sondheim k Hal prince36: Is SS a sub or dom?You know the answer to this question you absolute buffoon37: Miscast BernadetteReciter in pacific overtures 38: Miscast Elaine StritchJohanna 39: ALW goes missing and SS offers you some pie. Do you eat it?I want Andrew Lloyd Webber inside me40: What do you order at Mrs. Lovett's?The beast41: Is Road Show an unappreciated masterpiece or a lesser entry in the SS canon?The latter 43: Which American president do you cast as Bobby? Georges? Sally? Fosca?Bobby is obviously JFK, George is Nixon, sally is carter (bens the peanut farm), fosca is 44: Other than Rose, who is the most Shakespearian character?All of Sweeney todd's victims are just like tamora's kids in Titus andronicus 45: That Frank or Rich and Happy?Rich and happy duh46: Rob Marshall-ize a SS showNo way fuck you 47: Which show is most problematic ®Sweeney todd's depiction of mental illness (Toby) is Yikes 48: Most Sobdhemian Seth Rogen movie?When you think about it Sausage party is the exact same thing as do I hear a waltz 49: Who would play SS on SNL?50: Does Bobby find happiness by age 50?Bobby is dead by 50 51: Tumblr user most likely to be the man himselfRobert 52: A SS show you seem to forget existsThe frogs

[killerspectrum]

KILLER POISONS

In 2011 there were 12,664 murder victims in the United States.  Of those, only 5 were classified as as homicidal poisoning.  In 2014, there were only 7 deaths were officially listed as murder by toxin.   Even with new testing methods and awareness, many more deaths are still going undetected or unproven.

THALLIUM

Referred to as “Inheritance Powder”, thallium is a rarely used poison in a murder plot because it’s easily detected.  It’s also not as final as other toxins, as there is an anti-dote called Prussian Blue.   

Commonly found in pesticides until 1975 when it was banned for household use, but around 70% of the annual global production of thallium is still used by the electronics industry.

FORM:  A soft, heavy metal. Thallium can also exist as metallic salts.

COLOR: White crystallized powder, salt like.

ODOR: Odorless.

TASTE: Tasteless.

SOURCE: Mostly pesticides. 

ADMINISTERED: Skin, lungs, food, drink and medication. 

SYMPTOMS APPEAR:  Few hours to a few days, depending on dosage.

SYMPTOMS:  Savage.  Abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea,delirium, labored breathing, hair loss, seizures, coma, and eventually death.

TICK TOCK:  Depending on how large of the dose.  There is an anti-dote, if administered within 6 hours of contact. 

FALSELY ACCUSED DISEASES:  Viral disease, Guillain-Barré syndrome.

Examples of Nefarious Use of Thallium 

GEORGE JAMES TREPAL

October 1988 Alturas Florida.  

What are you going to do when your neighbors are obnoxious fucking beasts?  

Do you wait for them to move out? Noooo... Do you call the cops and complain about noise? Useless.  If you are George Trepal, the best plan is to poison the whole family for some peace and quiet.

The 42 year-old Trepal would sneak into their carport and lace a 12 pack of Coke with thallium. 

For four grueling months, the Carr family suffered "stomach bugs”, taunted by anonymous notes demanding they move away and hospitalizations.   Peggy Carr, the wife and mother of the family, died before they discovered the deadly conspiracy.  

But the fed up neighbor couldn’t keep his mouth shut.  When investigators asked Trepal why someone would want to kill the Carr family and he replied “They must have wanted them to move away.”  

George Trepal is currently on Death Row....where he enjoys shitty neighbors, people screaming and noise 24 hours a day.

AUNT THALLY AKA CAROLINE GRILLS 

1947-1953 Australia

Aunt Thally, spiteful old biddy, killed four people, all related to her by marriage. Targets of her rat poisonings included a 90 year old step-mother, a sister-in-law and a brother-in-law.  Three additional relatives survived her death attempts. 

After 5 years of dusting people’s lives out, Caroline Grills was arrested after a suspicious family member witnessed her dropping something into a cup of tea she was about to serve  . 

ANTI FREEZE

Ethylene Glycol, the deadly toxin in Antifreeze, enjoyed a wave of popularity with cold blooded killers in the early 2000s.  Sensationalized in the media by popular shows like Forensic Files, which highlighted a case in Georgia of Lynn Turner who poisoned two of her significant others with EG.  In addition, her eventual trial was broadcast live on Court TV, light bulbs went off in minds across the globe. 

The fact it was sweet tasting and accessible, at the time, to anyone with legs and $2.39 in their pocket turned antifreeze into a sort of green nectar for cunning killers. (Nowadays, the Antifreeze on store shelves have been designed to taste bitter, to deter the toxicomaniacs.  However, you can still buy the sweet tasting sort online.)   Even the Amish community decided to participate.  

Suspected malicious intent homicides increased from 2 cases in 2000 to 14 cases in 2004.

FORM: Syrupy liquid.

COLOR:  Fluorescent yellow-green.  

ODOR:  Sweet, like syrup.

TASTE:  Sweet. 

SOURCE:  At the store.

ADMINISTERED:  Food and drink. 

SYMPTOMS APPEAR:  30 minutes -12 hours.

SYMPTOMS: Kidney failure, convulsions, coma, cardiac issues. 

TICK TOCK:  3.5 fluid oz, will kill an average size man in 24-72 hours.

FALSELY ACCUSED DISEASES:   Diabetic shock, alcohol poisoning.

Examples of Nefarious Use of Ethylene Glycol  

STACEY CASTOR  

2005-2007 Upstate, New York

It’s no big secret that poisoners are among the most cold blooded and heartless of all killers, but even in this category the case of Stacey Castor is horrifying look at the lengths they will go to avoid being caught.

Michael Wallace, her first husband, died on Jan. 11, 2000 from what appeared to be a heart attack.  No questions, No Autopsy, No problem.  Stacey enjoyed the insurance money before getting married again to David Castor, 48.    

He was murdered on Aug. 22, 2005 with a cocktail of vodka, orange jucie, Sprite and antifreeze.    And when he no longer able to finish the cocktail, she shoved the rest down his throat with a turkey baster to finish him off.  

Stacey convinced the authorities that David locked himself inside his bedroom for two days and committed suicide- with a cocktail of antifreeze.    

It wasn’t long before suspicion fell on Stacey after investigators found her fingerprints all over the antifreeze glass and a turkey baster in the trash.

When there was a court order to dig up her husband’s corpse, Stacey attempts to frame her daughter Ashley for both murders.  “A 12 year old confessing to murdering her step-fathers!” probably sounded better in your head.  

But she decides to whip up a fake suicide note/confession and spike her daughter’s drink with a fatal mix of narcotics.  Instead of dying, Ashley was found unconscious the next morning by her younger sister and rushed to the hospital.  She woke up pissed off and Momma went to prison, where she ultimately died in 2016.

DIANE  STAUDTE 

2012-2013 Missouri

A more recent case of EG poisoning is Diane Staudte.  Of Mrs Staudte’s four children, she had a favorite.  The chosen one, Rachel, enjoyed her mother’s glowing admiration and darkest secrets. 

This is Diane smiling confidently, believing she is the smartest person in the whole world.  

Diane beaming with her favorite daughter, who coolly stood by as her family dropped like flies.  Luckily for her, it was more of a personality thing instead of a beauty contest. 

In April of 2012, her husband Mark was the first to be poisoned after drinking a Coke laced with antifreeze. He died simply because Diane “hated” him.  Without an autopsy or further testing, his death was ruled due to natural causes and he was cremated. .  

 Just five months later Shawn, 26, was also poisoned to death by his mother.  For the unimaginable crime of being a pest.  Not just any pest, but worse than a normal pest, according to Diane. She convinces the medical examiner and family that he was suffering from seizures, and they agreed without any further testing. 

And finally Sarah Staudte, the daughter who lived through an attempt on her life.  How did she survive the most clever woman that ever lived, you may ask? 

Well, after several deaths in the house, Diane had grown tired of the lingering stench and horror of death. 

“...houses are nasty when someone dies there.”  

To offset any potential nastiness, Diane orders an ambulance so Sarah will die at the hospital!  Genius.  Except hospitals do more than store dead bodies.  They also save lives and that’s what they did with Sarah, whose offenses included “unemployment and student loans”.

But Sarah had no idea her mom was trying to off her.  It was the Priest who became suspicious of Diane when the grim reaper was making extra trips to the Staudte family.  Every time he offered his religious comfort to the devout church goer, she was unfazed that her children were dying.  When Sarah was struggling to live in the hospital, Diane claimed she had a vacation to Florida in a few days, and she wasn’t going to miss it for anything.  The Priest called the authorities and she was eventually arrested for the murder of her family.  Along with her favorite daughter.    

They are both in jail.

[allyourprettywords]

“26 Things Emotionally Strong People Do,” Jeremy Radin

1. Emotionally Strong people are less discouraged by the stresses and discouragements of life than people who aren’t Emotionally Strong people.

2. Emotionally Strong people are able to unemotionally express their emotional needs.

3. Emotionally Strong people don’t focus on the hurdle itself, but on the nourishing Light near and around and on the hurdle.

4. Emotionally strong people eat correctly and exercise the right, and correct way.

5. Emotionally Strong people are able to recover quickly from the emotionally harmful nature of emotional wounds i.e. rejection, failure, or when Whole Foods is out of umeboshi paste.

6. Emotionally strong people get the amount of sleep they need, and understand how to best navigate their own specific and Loving sleep patterns. 7. Emotionally Strong people affirm themselves daily, utilizing the tool of daily affirmations.

8. Emotionally Strong people often create a secret mantra, particular to them, to help them remember to remain Emotionally Strong. A good example is, “I will remember to remain Emotionally Strong.”

9. Emotionally strong people avoid emotionally weak situations and patterns, such as re-establishing contact with an ex-partner who is doing good or consistently forgetting their bag of activated almonds.

10. Emotionally Strong people know what “Emotionally Strong” means; it is a thing that is both, at the same time, Loving, and, none other than, Mindful.

11. Emotionally Strong people do at least 40 minutes of yoga every day which is literally the daily practice of like doing amazing and things are going incredible for me.

12. Emotionally Strong people have four emotions: strong, abundance, no I am not having a panic attack I’m just tired from being so busy manifesting what I am blessed about every day, and hashtag.

13. Emotionally Strong people only listen to music that triggers feelings of, like, doing great, for instance my boy sHäRk is spinning at a gallery opening downtown tomorrow night he’s basically a genius he just spins super positive uplifting stuff you should come oh my God your energy is incredible I’m really responding to your energy right now your energy is blowing my mind.

14. The tea with the silver needles in it.

15. Emotionally Strong people know exactly what Rumi was talking about except why can’t I find his or her Ted Talk(s).

16. Emotionally Strong people only eat sunlight because the instant gratification of food-based nourishment is for people who don’t know how to control their minds with their brains.

17. Instagram pictures of the tea with the silver needles in it.

18. Emotionally Strong people remind their significant partners that to have negative emotions is to be weak, babe, I’m just saying this to help you because when you’re doing your depression I really feel like it means you’re not committed to being Emotionally Strong and I don’t know if I can be with someone who isn’t committed to being Emotionally Strong I mean sometimes I think you actually choose to not be Emotionally Strong which is for me a choice I make every day by being so full of gratitude and affirmations the moment I leap out of bed with abundance and strength and greeting the Love and Light with intentions!

19. Tyler Knott Gregson.

20. Emotionally strong people do not have to confront their failures because emotionally strong people do not engage in failures OKAY I just went on a four-year juice cleanse and did Reiki on myself for six and a half hours a day for ninety days in a row I feel AMAZING BRO! GOALS! TO DO LIST! UNIVERSE!

21. Emotionally Strong people have no idea who ate all of the Nutter Butters probably someone not Strong, Emotionally.

22. Emotionally Strong people know how to do Mindful Lovingness it’s just about being super positive you know like positive exercise positive clothes positive eating positive moisture and learning what your positive animal gratitude self is and rubbing the blood of that powerful animal on your positive heart chakra and writing a gratitude list out of its powerful blood and screaming it at your significant partner at a raw juice bar in front of someone’s frightened toddler that’s how to do Mindful Lovingness.

23. have u ever hunted……………………………………………………………………………… Man

24. Emotionally Strong people WOULD NOT eat this Butterfingers I found while cleaning out my car. Emotionally Strong people WOULD NOT eat this Butterfingers I found while cleaning out my car. Emotionally Strong people WOULD NOT eat this Butterfingers I found while cleaning out my car. Emotionally Strong people WOULD NOT eat this Butterfingers I found while cleaning out my car you disgusting fat sack of negative energy shit.

25. Emotionally StrWhat even are you even doing here, you gratitude-defiCIENT LEACH? YOU SQUANDERER OF THE SUN’S SUCCESSFUL DAILY BLESSING BEAMS? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A WHOLE SECTION OF FAILURE’S VISION BOARD YOU THICK MOULDERING SORROW POTATO? GO THE GYM. DON’T GO TO THE GYM YOU DON’T KNOW HOW. HERE ARE FIFTY-EIGHT WAYS YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOW TO GO TO THE GYM AND YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. WHY ARE YOU SO TENSE MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO YOGA WAIT DO YOU EVEN HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHER FRIEND? DO YOU EVEN HAVE ONE FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHER FRIEND? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO HOLD A WOUNDED PEACOCK POSE ON THE BACK OF AN ELEGANT HORSE ANIMAL WHILE YOUR ARTFULLY TATTOOED SIGNIFICANT PARTNER DRAPES THEIR HAND OVER YOUR ARTFULLY VERY GOOD BODY MUSCLES AND THE SUN RISES ARTFULLY BEHIND YOU AS THOUGH DIRECTED BY YOUR TALENTED PHOTOGRAPHER FRIEND? HAVE YOU EVER EVEN SEEN A SUNRISE. ONCE ONE GODDAMN TIME OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY AVOIDING ANYTHING THAT MIGHT ILLUMINATE THE STUNNING DISASTER YOUR REGRETFUL IMITATION OF A LIFE HAS BECOME YOU UNGRACIOUS COWARD.

26. Green juice.

[polkadotsockz]

I don't know why, but I've always liked these.

100 Things About Me 

1. What is your full name? Kimberly 

2. How old are you? 23 

3. When is your birthday? 12/12 

4. What is your zodiac sign? The charming and witty, Sagittarius 

5. What is your favorite color? Blacker than my soul 

6. What’s your lucky number? 12 (look at my birthday!) 

7. Do you have any pets? Two wonderful cats, Fuu (Fuu Kitty) and Archer (Archie) 

8. Where are you from? Connecticut 

9. How tall are you? 5′8" 

10. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like 10, but I wear 3-4 of them regularly 

11. What did you last have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and cold brew coffee

12. What was your last dream about? The last one I remember having was one in which I was in my high school cafeteria. For some reason everyone in my high school was invited to this wedding (don't know whose), and we all decided to get dressed at school. Now mind you, this took place in my high school but in the present day, meaning we were all adults. When I looked around, guys and girls were putting on their outfits, doing their hair, and doing their makeup. All the parents were there getting ready too. I remember getting upset because my parents brought the wrong dress for me. They brought the dress I wore to my cousin's wedding a few years ago, which is a beautiful dark blue gown. I was upset because I was afraid the dress would rip because of all the weight I've gained. (The dress actually did rip in real life when I wore it to my step-aunt's wedding a couple of months ago; causing me to have to borrow someone’s dress for the rest of the night). So after some complaining, I convinced them to stop back at home so I could get a different dress, and that's when I woke up. 

 13. What is the best thing about you? I always try to see the best in everyone, even if they've done me wrong. 

 14. Put shuffle on your iPod, what were the first 5 songs? 

      1. Part II - Paramore 

      2. ARTPOP - Lady Gaga 

      3. Dancing in Circles - Lady Gaga (really?! 2 in a row?) 

      4. But It's Better if You Do - Panic! At the Disco 

      5. Comedy of Errors- Alesana 

15. Favorite song? It typically depends on my mood, but the one that is most constant is “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. It’s pretty much the perfect song because a. it’s fun to sing along to, b. it’s fun to dance to, c. it has beautiful lyrics with a powerful message about self-love and self-acceptance, especially for the LGBT community.

16. Favorite TV show? Game of Thrones, by fucking far!

17. Favorite movie? the Harry Potter series

18. Do you miss anyone right now? I miss my Sammy and I miss my friends who I don’t see nearly enough

19. Do you want children? I think so, but I have promised myself that I won’t have kids unless and until I work out my anxiety issues because I don’t want to pass this along to yet another generation in my family.

20. Do you want a church wedding? Nah, I’d probably burst into flames up at the altar.

21. Are you religious? Nah, I like Satan jokes too much.

22. Have you ever been to the hospital? The last time I remember going was when I was 6 and needed 10 stitches on my head.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Sadly, no. I hold out hope that I’ll meet Lady Gaga. 

24. Baths or showers? Both! I only really like baths when I have a bath bomb/bubble bar, though!

25. What color socks are you wearing? None. 

26. Have you ever been famous? Nah, I don’t have the charisma or personality to handle that much attention.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Nah, I like my privacy tbh.

28. What type of music do you like? Lady Gaga, Paramore, emo/screamo that I’ve been listening to since middle/high school, occasional radio hits

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No :/ I totally should have when I was home alone when I lived at my parents’.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two! My favorite is when I can lay my head on one, and hug the other one.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually sleep on my side (fetal position)

32. How big is your house? Our apartment is a decently sized one-bedroom

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Eggs or rolled oats with fruit

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Nope!

35. Have you ever tried archery? No, but it sounds cool

36. Who is your celebrity crush? Lady Gaga cuz she’s actually perfect

37. Who do you look up to? Lady Gaga, because she isn’t afraid to be who she is and inspires others love and accept themselves. She is an extremely talented and accomplished musician, but retains such a humility and love for her fans. So basically, as I said before, she’s perfect.

 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 22 hours. When I was a high school senior, I got hooked on World of Warcraft, and I would do raids until 2 am (Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays), and then wake up for school at 5 am. Thursdays were the worst. 

39. Do you have any scars? On my forehead from the 10 stitches I got as a child, and a few on my face from the chicken pox.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? I don’t believe so.

41. Are you a good liar? I’m good at white lies (“I love that new haircut!”) but suck at lying about things that actually matter because I’m really bad at hiding my feelings.

42. Are you a good judge of character? For the most part. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I like to pretend I can do a British accent, but it’s not all that.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Nah lol, just standard New England.

45. What is your favorite accent? British, Irish, Australian

46. Name all the countries you’ve been to? Not as many as I’d like! I have only been to Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and I took a cruise as a kid that stopped in Aruba, St. Martin, and St. Thomas. So basically, I’ve been around the Carribean.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I don’t know, haha. I’m too broke for expensive clothes, I’m a grad student.

 48. Can you curl your tongue? Kind of.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie!

50. Left or right handed? Right, my left hand is useless

51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, I hate all of them.

52. Favorite food? You can never go wrong with pizza

53. Favorite foreign food? Thai food is heaven.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I can be messy with clothes, but for the most part, I’m a neat freak. I get anxiety if things are too dirty around the house.

55. Most used phrase?  “I’m too tired for life......”

56. Most used word? “Fuck”

 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Probably like 30-45 minutes on average. I varies depending on how long my shower is, how much make up I’m trying to wear, what I’m doing to my hair, and if shaving my legs is part of the process. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? Most of the time I tend to be very hard on myself, so I’m gonna say no.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Don’t eat many lollipops nowadays, but suck!

60. Do you talk to yourself? All the time! I’m a great conversationalist.

61. Do you sing to yourself? All the time! Every car ride is a concert just for me.

62. Are you a good singer? I’m not too shabby. 

63. Biggest Fear? Failure, rejection, judgement.

64. Are you a gossip? I can be. I enjoy talking about others, but many times it’s not in a negative way. For example, if I’m worried about someone who isn’t really saying much to me, I may ask another friend what’s going on with them because I’m concerned...not cuz I’m trying to talk shit. I guess I should get better at direct communication, tho.

 65. Favorite character in anything? Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones, ASOIAF

66. Do you like long or short hair? I like both, but I’m digging my ultra long hair right now cuz I had short hair for so long!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Probably, just don’t ask me where they all are on the map.

 68. Favorite school subject? English/literature all the way!

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Too introverted to handle.

70. Favorite hobbies? Reading, writing, watching movies/shows, make-up, spending time with my boyfriend and friends

71. What makes you nervous? Everything social, judgement, presenting in front of people, making decisions.

72. Are you scared of the dark? I used to be, but now I like it. 

 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Not really. I used to correct peoples’ grammar/spelling mistakes, but then I realized what an ass I was being. I only really point out mistakes if I think the mistakes will negatively impact the person.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, extremely and everywhere.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don’t think so.

 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I guess I’m in a position of power/authority in my career. I never know what to do with that power, though.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Of course. 

78. Have you ever done drugs? I’ve dabbled in a few things. Weed is the only consistent one, and it’s hardly a “drug.” I’ve never done anything seriously addictive/dangerous like heroine or meth or something.

79. Who was your first real crush? This kid in my second grade class. He didn’t like me though cuz he was popular, and I was very unpopular.

80. How many piercings do you have? 5 - lobes, industrial bar, nostril, and navel. I want so so so many more though.

81. Can you roll your Rs? Spanish is my second language, so claro que sí!

82. How fast can you type? Pretty damn fast, actually.

83. How fast can you run? Fast if it’s for a very short distance. I have very little endurance, though.

84. What color is your hair? Naturally, I’m a milk chocolate brown. Right now, I’ve got about 2-3 inches my roots grown out, and the rest is a fading purple.

85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown.

86. What are you allergic to? Just pollen.

87. Do you keep a journal? I’ve always been bad at keeping up with journals. I wish I could find some old ones with my poetry.

88. What do your parents do? Dad: owns a little grocery store, Mom: works at a bank, Stepdad: works at an investment bank (stocks and such)

 89. Do you like your age? It’s okay. I’m getting old, though.

90. What makes you angry? Ignorance/ hatred: racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, etc. It honestly makes no sense to me how people can’t just love and accept one another and mind their own damn business.

91. Do you like your own name? I think it’s a nice name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I’ve had many thoughts throughout the years. I’ve always been partial to gender neutral names like Alex, Riley, Andy, etc.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? One of each would work.

94. If you had to have someone narrate the story of your life to you when you died, who would it be? This is an odd question, honestly, I’m not sure.

 95. What’s the best thing you’ve ever won? I don’t really win things.

96. How did you get your name? My mom and dad were thinking “Nelly” but then my grandma’s best friend talked them into “Kimberly.” I feel that this is more fitting. 

97. Out of the original 151 which is your favorite Pokémon? I didn’t watch Pokemon.

98. What browser do you use? Safari cuz I’m a Mac.

99. Color of your bedspread? I think it’s purple right now.

100. Color of your room? White cuz I rent and can’t paint the walls

[eldritchsurveys]

385.

1. What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend? >> I don’t have a favourite way. 2. What type of music are you into? >> The majority of it is some form of rock or metal, but I like a pretty wide variety. 3. What was the best vacation you ever took and why? >> *shrug* 4. Where’s the next place on your travel bucket list and why? >> I don’t have a travel bucket list. 5. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them? >> I don’t know if I have any hobbies, really. Having a hobby requires some measure of dedication, I think, and I don’t think I’m dedicated to anything enough for it to be considered a hobby of mine.

6. What was your favorite age growing up? >> I don’t have one. Age wasn’t really a thing I paid much attention to except for the fact that being under 18 meant I couldn’t do shit. 7. Was the last thing you read digitally or in print? >> Digital. 8. Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert? >> Introvert, I suppose. 9. What’s your favorite ice cream topping? >> Crumbled Oreos. 10. What was the last show you binge-watched? >> I don’t. 11. Are you into podcasts or do you only listen to music? >> I’m pretty much only a music listener. There are some podcasts that interest me -- Radiolab, for example -- but the idea of just sitting there listening to disembodied voices for an hour at a time is kind of abhorrent to me. I’d probably be better with podcasts if I had a craft hobby, like knitting, because then I’d have something else to do while listening. 12. Do you have a favorite holiday? Why or why not? >> Christmas is my favourite, because I just enjoy it the most. 13. What’s your “Death Row Meal”? >> I don’t have one. 14. Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home? >> I like both. I usually go to the movies for things like space epics or anything else that I think would look amazing on a giant IMAX screen. Or when Sparrow and I go to see something together. 15. What’s your favorite sleeping position? >> On my side. 16. What’s your go-to guilty pleasure? >> I don’t have any. 17. In the summer, would you rather sleep with the window open or blast the AC? >> Sleep with the window open, although I do sleep pretty poorly in the heat. Maybe if the A/C was on very low... I guess. Doesn’t matter anyway, I don’t have an A/C in my bedroom. 18. What’s your favorite quote from a TV show/movie/book? >> I don’t have one. 19. How old were you when you had your first celebrity crush, and who was it? >> I don’t know how old I was, but I was randomly fascinated by Matt Damon for a while when I was very young. Still don’t know why. 20. What’s one thing that can instantly make your day better? >> I don’t know, I don’t think there’s anything like that.  21. Do you have any pet peeves? >> I have a lot of pet peeves. 22. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner? >> --- 23. What song always gets you out on the dance floor? >> *shrug* 24. When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not? >> I assume I ate them, because I’m pretty sure if I had a habit of peeling crusts off my father would have punished me for it, and I’d remember that. 25. What activity instantly calms you? >> I don’t know if there’s anything like that, either. Mostly it’s myself that calms me down, and the activity doesn’t matter as much as the mental effort. 26. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday? >> I’m pretty fine with how I usually spend my birthdays. 27. What do you do on your commute to/from work? >> --- 28. Do you have a favorite type of exercise? >> Dancing. 29. What’s your favorite season and why? >> Spring. 30. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard? >> I don’t know. 31. What’s the phone app you use most? >> Reddit is Fun or CloudLibrary. 32. Would you rather cook or order in? >> I’d rather order in. 33. Have your ever disliked something and then changed your mind? >> Oh, yeah, definitely. 34. What’s your favorite board game? >> I don’t have one. 35. How do you take your coffee? >> I don’t drink coffee, but when I did I either drank it black or with a little creamer. 36. What’s your most prized possession and why? >> --- 37. Is there any product that you couldn’t live without? >> No. There are a lot of products that it would take me a really intense adjustment period to get over the loss of -- computers usually fit the bill here -- but eventually I’d settle into equilibrium again. 38. Do you sleep with a top sheet? Why or why not? >> Yeah, but I can’t wear it in the summer because then even a sheet is too hot. 39. If you could have any exotic animal as a pet, which would it be? >> --- 40. Would you rather spend a day at the beach or poolside? >> Beach. 41. What’s your favorite thing about your current job? >> --- 42. What annoys you most? >> A lot of things annoy me on the same level. 43. What’s the career highlight you’re most proud of? >> --- 44. Do you think you’ll stay at your current company awhile? Why or why not? >> --- 45. What type of role do you want to graduate to after this one? >> --- 46. Are you more of a “work to live” or a “live to work” type of person? >> No. 47. Does your job make you feel happy and fulfilled? Why or why not? >> --- 48. How would your 10-year-old self react to what you do? >> --- 49. What do you remember most about your first job? >> Hating it. 50. Did you start working immediately after finishing school? Why or why not? >> No. I tried having a job while I was in school, because my father pushed me into it, and I was a complete failure at it and miserable besides. I got Social Security when I turned eighteen. 51. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? >> --- 52. What originally got you interested in your current field of work? >> --- 53. Have you ever had a side hustle or considered having one? >> --- 54. What’s your favorite part of the workday? >> --- 55. What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made? >> --- 56. What’s the worst career decision you’ve ever made? >> --- 57. Do you consider yourself good at networking? >> I could be, but that’s a skill I never bothered developing because I don’t need it for anything. 58. What career advice would you give to your younger self? >> --- 59. Do you believe in having a “five-year plan”? >> I believe it’s a rational thing to do, but I’m not interested in making one for myself. That’s more Sparrow’s thing, because she has actual things to plan for. 60. How do you separate your work life from your home life? >> --- 61. When will you know you’ve “made it”? >> I’m not looking to “make it” anywhere. 62. Are you looking forward to retiring, or do you plan to work as long as possible? >> --- 63. Have you ever had “imposter syndrome”? >> Yeah. 64. What do you think about workaholics? >> I think that if someone’s passionate about their work, they should pursue that. The problem usually seems to crop up when they also try to have everything else -- a social life, a marriage, a family. If you put all your time and energy into your work, of course the other things in your life are going to go lacking, and when those things involve other people, that can’t fly. And then you get upset when the spouse leaves or the children treat you like a stranger. The fuck did you expect??? 65. What qualities do you look for in a boss? >> --- 66. Do you have a professional mentor? If not, do you want one? >> No and no. 67. Do you have a work best friend? >> --- 68. Are you into after-work happy hours? >> --- 69. How do you motivate yourself in your career? >> --- 70. What’s the best career advice you’ve ever heard? >> --- 71. What’s the worst career advice you’ve ever received? >> --- 72. When you started your current job, what most surprised you? >> --- 73. How do you pick yourself back up after making a mistake at work? >> --- 74. How do you deal with work stress? >> --- 75. What energizes you about your career? >> --- 76. What’s one work-related thing you want to accomplish in the next year? >> --- 77. Who has had the biggest impact on your career choice? >> --- 78. What does your family think of your career? >> --- 79. What’s the best thing you’ve learned in your current position? >> --- 80. If you could do it all over again, would you pursue the same career? Why or why not? >> --- 81. How much time do you spend with your family? >> --- 82. Who do you most like spending time with and why? >> Inworlders. Because. 83. Were you close with your family growing up? >> No. 84. How do you define your family now? >> Nonexistent. 85. What traits are most important to you in your family members? >> --- 86. Who are you the closest to and why? >> Can Calah, because he knows me best. 87. Do you want a family of your own? >> --- 88. What’s your favorite family tradition? >> --- 89. If you could change your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, with whom? >> I should have read through the whole survey before taking it, lmao. I can’t answer half of the damn thing. 90. What was it like growing up as the youngest/oldest/only child? >> I don’t know, I don’t recall it being like much of anything. 91. Does your family take vacations together? >> --- 92. What’s your favorite family memory? >> --- 93. What TV family most reminds you of your own? >> --- 94. Do you ever wish you were raised differently? >> Of course, but what’s the point of even thinking like that. 95. What’s the best piece of advice a family member has given you? >> --- 96. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why? >> No. I don’t see how having siblings would improve my life any. 97. Did you ever hide anything from or lie to your parents? >> Constantly. 98. If you had a family business, what would it be? >> --- 99. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other? >> --- 100. What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family? >> --- 101. How do you show your family you love them? >> --- 102. Have you ever been to a family reunion? >> --- 103. What’s the most important holiday you spend with your family and why? >> --- 104. Who in your family would you describe as a “character”? >> --- 105. How do you feel about family events? >> --- 106. What’s something your family would be surprised to learn about you? >> --- 107. Which family member do you confide in most? >> --- 108. How do you deal with arguments between family members? >> --- 109. If you have children, how do you want to raise them? >> --- 110. What’s more important: family or friends? >> --- 111. Do you have any friends you would consider family? >> That’s not a thing I can imagine doing. I don’t really... get it, you dig. 112. Has your family ever pressured you to act a certain way? >> Yeah. 113. Did you ever get to meet your great-grandparents? >> No. 114. What personality traits do you share with your relatives? >> --- 115. What physical traits do you share with your relatives? >> --- 116. What stories did your family members tell you growing up? >> --- 117. How did your parents (and/or grandparents) meet? >> I don’t know, I think they just met in the street. 118. What makes you proud of your family? >> --- 119. Who’s the newest member of your family? >> --- 120. What can always bring your family together? >> --- 121. What’s a relationship deal breaker for you? >> --- 122. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want? >> I can’t answer this. 123. What is your definition of success? >> For me, it’s just... being content with where I am and feeling capable enough to take on whatever the future may bring. I can’t imagine anything more important than that. 124. Are you at all religious or spiritual? >> I suppose. 125. What are you most proud of in the last year? >> I don’t know, I haven’t really thought much about it. I do think I’ve reached a kind of equilibrium that suits me, which I am happy about. 126. What makes you feel most accomplished? >> --- 127. Who do you admire most in the world? >> --- 128. If you won a million dollars, what would you do with the money? >> I have no idea. Give it to Sparrow and she can figure out what to do with it. I’m a little repelled by the idea of having a large sum of money. 129. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of? >> Adaptability. 130. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend? >> *shrug* 

[swiftyswiz]

Just Bored Questions

1. describe yourself. I’m probably too loyal for my own good, but I like to say I’m a lovely person who just doubts herself more than she should.

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be? Definitely anywhere in Europe. Hands down. I love the history there and just want to explore it!

3. do you have siblings? Yes, I have two. An older brother (20) and a younger sister (13).

4. what is your favorite constellation, why? Hmm, maybe the southern cross? I am Australian and I know for a fact that this is the only constellation I’ve ever seen in my life. I know, this is a bad answer, but I honestly don’t have one. 

5. favourite colour. My favourite colour right now is yellow. I don’t have a real reason for it. Maybe because yellow just helps me cheer up after a bad day.

6. what kind of music do you listen to? A bit of everything, really. Well, except for rap and country. I’m just very iffy with many modern rappers. And most country songs just bore me to death. Sorry country/rap lovers! Just a personal opinion of mine.

7. favorite flower. Like the constellations, I don’t really have one, but I would probably say lilacs. I don’t have a specific reason for it. I just really love them.

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn? The first spell? To travel across the world to my online friends (aka online family)!

9. favourite childhood memory. God, I honestly don’t know. Maybe the time I played on my older brother’s Xbox 360 and played some WWE, but this was years ago.

10. have you ever been cheated on? Dudes, I haven’t even dated before! #LonelySquadWhereYouAt?

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be? A skylight, aesthetic ass bookshelves, many geeky/bookwormy posters, fairy lights, nerdy bed covers, etc.

12. favourite animal. Hmm, maybe a Cassowary? Like, I just love how amazing they are. I mean, my name is “Cassandra” and “Cassowary” is my nickname so...

13. what was the last photo you took of? It was a picture of my Pringles collection, and yes. I stock up on Pringles cans.

14. do you believe in soul mates? I would love to say yes, but, sadly, no. I do not.

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under? Under? I think?

16. your go-to place to eat & your favourite thing to get there. I actually don’t go out much, but there is this on Fish and Chips store in my town and holy damn. Their grilled fish and chips are divine!

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason? I mean, no, not really. I know some mind-fucking science that could probably prove this belief wrong, but I’ll keep that away from y’all’s knowledge because trust me. It really is mind-fucking.

18. guilty pressures? Probably some JB and 1D songs. Like, I’m not a hella fan of their music, but there are a few songs I love by them

19. favourite mythical creature, why? Okay, maybe vampires? Like, these bloody creatures (pun intended) are just lovely people! They have a group to care for each other. These amazing creatures live forever! They’re just amazing. I can’t express that enough!

20. something most people don’t know about you. I’m actually still confused about my sexuality. I won’t even lie. I know for a fact that I’m not completely straight, but I just wanna know where I belong and which category I can put myself under.

21. where did you grow up, what was it like? Well, my family moved a lot when I was little, but I grew up more in the town I am in still to this day. It’s a coastal town with a large population, but I have barely explored it! It’s pretty cool, but the weather is an annoying piece of shit! It doesn’t know when to rain, be nice and cool, or humid as fuck!

22. do you believe aliens exist? I mean, correctly we’re aliens so... Yeah?

23. what was your last google search? I was looking up how to spell “delving”.

24. what did your last relationship teach you? Like I said before, I have never dated someone.

25. would you relocate for love? Maybe? But I’m 15 so, not yet?

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy? A bit of both, to be honest. I hold grudges if you threaten or hurt my blood/non-blood family, but if I hear both sides of the story, I will probably be forgiving.

27. favourite book. God, okay. So there’s this book (yes, an actual book; not a fanfiction!) that had a large impact on my aspiration to become an author. It was The Anthem Force Chronicles by hollyorange.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert? Introvert. Like, actual. I can hang and chat with people, but I find comfort in being alone.

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now? I have never had a journal, which is odd. I don’t even have one now and I’m supposed to be a writer!

30. top 5 favorite movies. #1: Grown Ups (2010) [A comedy worth watching] #2: Lion King (1994) [Yes, an absolute classic!] #3: Pacific Rim (2013) [A sci-fi movie that has made me quite emotional if I’ll be honest. Really is something to look at.] #4: Jupiter Ascending (2015) [Probably not a very known movie, but I just love the concept of it] #5: Bright (2017) [Despite being a rushed plot, it was still a pretty funny movie. I really enjoyed watching it!]

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Repeated question? Hello?

32. what is your greatest fear? Heights and being forgotten.

33. favourite alcoholic beverage. Um, I’m underage?

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done. Omg, there are so many things I’ve done that are embarrassing, but the most embarrassing thing I’ve done was last year. We were doing a presentation in English and I was shaking from nerves, the Powerpoint went wrong... God, it was just a mess!

35. do you believe in ghosts? When I was little, yes, but I don’t anymore.

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality? I’m loyal so I stick to what I believe in and care about my friends and family, but this is also a major weakness of mine. It means when I lose one of them, I will forever blame myself for losing them.

37. should you split the dinner bill? I?? Don’t?? Have?? Any?? Money?? To?? Pay?? With??

38. are you a good liar? No. All you have to do is to look me straight in the eye and I’ll be a smiling, giggling mess.

39. what keeps you up at night? Maybe the constant anxiety that I’ll be a failure and never be able to have a proper job? Not entirely sure...

40. would you rather go without your phone or music? Phone. (1) I don’t even have a phone at the moment. I broke it last year and (2) I have a tablet so I basically have my music and an extra large phone,

41. do you believe in god? No.

42. how do you relax when frustrated? Listen to music or just rant/cry about it to my older brother or mother.

43. what’s something that offends you? Something that majorly offends me? I think it is to assume I don’t want to hang out with people. Like, I know I’m an introvert, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out!

44. favourite food. It’s a hard choice between Apple Pie and Roast Beef.

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be? My two online best friends (aka online sisters). Won’t say their names for privacy reason.

46. when do you feel the most confident? When I have written a very good story and I’m just so proud of myself for thinking up this idea.

47. what do you do on your free time? Read, write, converse with my family... That’s about it.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect. Yes, a few people actually.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart? Like I said; I. Have. Never. Dated.

50. did/do you play sports in school? No. I’m an unsporty person.

51. when are you happiest? When I’m playing UNO with my family.

52. coffee or tea? Tea! But I do love me some Expresso Ice Coffee.

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without? I think it’s the stuffed rabbit my dad got me. I don’t usually ask for much, but when I saw that rabbit, he bought it within a heartbeat. I won’t lie, still to this day I sleep with that rabbit as a way to comfort me during hard times.

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person? Their awkward gestures of trying to continue a conversation with me.

55. what is your favourite season, why? Spring because I’m born on the first of Spring. I know it’s a lame reason, but I just don’t have a proper favourite season.

56. what makes you laugh? Little fandom jokes that only true fans get. Like the Banana bus meme that Vanoss and the crew made years ago.

57. are you a clean or messy person? Clean.

58. what is important for a successful relationship? Still being single~

59. what was your upcoming like? So far it’s been a roller-coaster of emotions.

60. favourite holiday? Christmas because my family makes it very family based.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery? I would call (or run to) my parents saying, “Mum! Dad! I’ve won the lotto! Get (Brother’s name) and (Siter’s name) here! We need to start planning out our new house!”

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination? In Australia, Pizza Hut has this pizza called “BBQ Meatlovers” and it is just to die for. It’s so nice!

63. favorite outdoor activity. Hmm, I don���t go outside much, but I like walking by the river that is near my house.

64. how are you? honestly. Good. Stressed about exams and assessments, but good.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort? Camping. I wanna experience the forest and actually catch a fish!

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature? Rows of flowers.

67. favourite type of candy? Anything that is Caramel flavoured, but my personal favourite is Caramel Tim Tam’s.

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title? “Aussie Chick Meets Reality”.

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases? “You like Jazz?” - The Bee Movie (2007) “If they kill you... walk it off.” - Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” - Game of Thrones (2011 - 2019)

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now? I think it was using any kind of abbreviation. Nowadays, if you said it I’d just give you the look of shame and cringe.

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever evesdropped on? If I’ll be honest, I don’t eavesdrop, but one of the weirdest things I’ve heard in a conversation before would be someone shouting “Run! Zombies will fuck you senseless!” I just-- I’m just very concerned.

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? I watched it recently, actually. It was about the atomic bomb testing in the USA. It was just very interesting to know this happened.

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had? A ponytail.

74. what do you like to cook? Right now? Maybe some scrambled eggs...

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? A kangaroo actually just chilling in some construction work nearby.

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen? Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Hands down have made my days better than anyone could ever know.

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head? Head.

78. what is your favorite quote? “I am a lost boy from Neverland. Usually hanging out with Peter Pan.” - Lost Boy by Ruth B

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had? I’ve had a crush on plenty of fictional characters so... You tell me.

80. what’s your love language? Spanish.

81. do you ever feel alone? Yep.

82. ever been bullied? Too many times.

83. are you usually early or late? Early.

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most? A mixture of Modern and the Renaissance.

85. what do you wish you knew more about? History. Really! Any piece of history I’d just love to learn more about

These questions were made by @maerdasti