#24 fucking songs lads

[sirenlulls]

ARABELLA → e. hewson

pairing — elijah hewson x famous!fem!reader

summary —every popular man needs an even more popular girlfriend and rn that's you babe xx

written for this request

wraps her lips round the mexican coke, makes you wish that you were the bottle

you're such a fan fav.

like whenever you're at inhaler gigs they're almost more excited to take pictures with you than with the band

if you work in the limelight as well (singer, model, actress, etc) his fanbase is your fanbase.

pictures of you and elijah (and just you) are very common profile pics for inhaler twt and tiktok

he's very aware that he's the arm candy in the relationship

he can't complain tho, he gets it

obsessed bf, pretty gf dynamic

goes without saying that you've got more than a few songs written about you

if you're irish (self projecting) you would be freaking out with him and the lads over them playing in slane (and for opening hslot ofc)

in famous!reader headcanons i always see "his insta is a fanpage for you" and i raise you one, your insta is a fanpage for HIM!!

litch whenever an album drops, it's on the story and in a post. they announced tour dates? posted. they're opening for someone? posted. they fall asleep on your couch after a show? posted. you see a cute fan edit? saved, commented, and posted.

you're visibly down bad for him

BUT DONT WORRY hes visibly down bad for you too

if you're a singer, people are getting videos of him with the biggest heart eyes chilling in the vip section

if you're an actress, pictures of him staring at you on the red carpet or during interviews haunt the rockstar gf pinterest girlies

if you're a model you better believe that there has never been a show of yours when everyone can see him smiling in the front row

your little fanboy <3

forehead kisses for the win!!!

AND AND AND!!!!!! a hand on the small of your back at all times

definitely does the thumb thing when you're holding hands

he follows the sidewalk rule like it's a law

tells u abt the time he got abducted by aliens to help u sleep xx

he doesn't really fuck with spooning but will always rest easier if your head is on his chest and his arm is around you

i feel like if you're a very excitable person (self projecting again) he's such a listener

like you could be rambling about the most random thing in the world, and he'll just sit there nodding with a cute little smile on his face

he'd be great to gossip with, i think, but that might just be the irish in him

it's pretty much mandatory that you get on well with the rest of the bad bcs if you're not busy yourself, eli is dragging you on tour with them

if you were in the industry longer than them i feel like you'd all have some really good chats

like giving them advice on how to deal with anxiety and helping them through any doubts or fears they have

they all appreciate having you around even if ye take the piss out of each other 24/7

it's loving banter <3

you'd get mentioned in interviews a few times

never by name tho

because eli's so private and doesn't want to end up with the bands success being attributed to you he'd never be like "oh, y/n said this, y/n said that"

instead he'd be like "oh, yeah my girlfriend's been here before so she's been telling us where to go and all"

if the others ever brought you up it'd be to take the piss out of eli

"yeah his girlfriend had to drag him out the bus this morning" "he wouldn't shut up till we brought his girlfriend over" stuff like that

you and eli would have some proper deep chats i feel

he trusts you so much

each others ride or dies fr

fans hope you get married

he does too

overall, any comment section under a pic of the two of you is filled with people crediting ye for their bisexuality xx

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Twenty-Eight - End

A/n: Ah finally 28 is here!! I'm sorry for the silence, had a lot going on recently, but this is the final part of the series! I can't believe it tbh, though I wouldn't mind writing a few extra scenes in the future just because I love these two a whole lot. But we'll seeee!

Just a warning, this is very similar to the flashback chapters on 24 and the scenes are as the years pass starting from before the time G and Birdie got together, it's ALL from G's POV which was so fucking difficult to write but hopefully I pulled it off. Either way, I hope you enjoy it and thank you to all the love everyone's shown this series, it means so much.

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Masterlist

It was beaming. First proper hot day they’d had in months. Though in truth, it could’ve just as easily been years seeing as though every weather station was currently claiming a ‘hellish heatwave’ to have taken over the entire country. 

It was bittersweet. 

George was sat outside on the decking, just by the pool in Matty’s back garden with the rest of the band, Ross in a pair of boxers perched on the waters edge with Adam sporting a pair of bright yellow swim trunks right beside him. The two of them had been doing laps but had seemingly tired themselves out under the hot sun and were now kicking up a lazy wave in the shallow end.

“Oi.”

George glanced away from the duo to find a beer being shoved his way, he took the crisp bottle with a soundless nod just as Matty settled into the lounge chair next to him.

“You not getting in then?” The older boy asked him and George curled his lip just as he wrinkled his nose.

“Maybe. Too fucking hot to be arsed though.” He answered, sticky with sweat but enjoying the warmth the summer weather had to gift him.

Matty laughed under his breath and kicked his leg up to cross it over his knee. “Mum ordered food, if you’re hungry. Lou wanted pizza, so.”

George smiled in retort. He’d skipped breakfast that morning, knowing his presence would only lead to more problems now that his mum was home again, and had been hoping to grab something on the way over but hadn’t had the chance. 

“Speak of the devil.” Matty chuckled after and George followed his gaze over to find his younger brother, Louis, scuttling out of the patio’s sliding glass door, water gun in hand and a leggy teenage girl just behind him.

“Get back here, Lou! You’re so dead!” The girl shouted, hair dripping wet and shirt dampened from where she’d obviously been the subject to one of Louis’s antics, but her words were counteracted by the dazzling grin she wore and the bright sheen she had to her eyes. 

The younger boy she was chasing cackled loudly in return, face alive as he zoomed past George and Matty on the loungers in an attempt to escape her. But she was hot on his heels.

“Run, mate!” Matty called out unhelpfully, snorting when his little brother tried to make a song and dance out of it when he chose to go around the garden table a few times.

George chuckled quietly, watching the duo from where he was perched, though he could hardly keep his eyes off of the girl, focused on her expression, the way she moved so effortlessly. Matty seemed to notice it too.

“You’ve got it bad, man.”

George startled a tad at his voice but shook his head anyway as he waved Matty’s accusation off, not bothering to argue against it seeing as though his eyes were still trained on one thing. 

Besides, it weren’t as though he hadn’t heard it all before, the lads loved to tease him for his apparent staring, the longing looks he threw her, but how could he help it? She was this blazing ball of fire, too fucking hot to reach out and touch, but enticing all the same. 

God, he was such a fucking sap.

Matty was still laughing, either at him or the way his younger brother’s face had suddenly fallen in quick realisation, perhaps both, but George could hardly bring himself to care. It’s not like she ever noticed his attention anyway, barely even spared him a hello, let alone a second glance.

“Just talk to her, man. She won’t bite.” Matty told him, as though it was really that simple. But before George could think of a reply, a loud scream echoed out across the garden and he looked up just in time to spot the pair go catapulting into the pool, the girl’s arms wrapped around the younger boy’s shoulders as their bodies cut through the water. “Fucking hell.”

The pair of them were laughing when they reemerged, Louis spluttering whilst the girl just shook the hair out of her face, smile still frozen in place. George’s breath got caught in the back of his throat and his mind went a little fuzzy at the sight of it, witnessing how carefree and gorgeous she always seemed to appear, but especially then.

“You cheat! You can’t do that!” Louis laughed in argument, splashing about a bit. “It ain’t fair.”

The girl merely grinned in retort and reached out to mess the boy’s sodden hair up further, “Sure I can, Lou. An eye for an eye and all that! You wet me with your gun and I tossed you in the pool. Sounds fair enough to me.”

“She’s got you there, mate.” George heard Ross add from the side of the pool, and could hear the mirth that lined his mate’s voice. “Take it like a champ.”

“You get to say that, you’re already soaked!”

“Tell him, Lou!” Matty hollered with that mischievous smile he often favoured.

The girl waded in the water and threw a smirk at Matty, but her eyes lingered on George too for just a second. “You lot getting in or am I gonna have to drag you over too?”

Matty laughed and went to make a stand, but just as he did, he turned his back on the rest of them and shot a sly remark at George, who was still trying to get over the acknowledgment he’d just been given. “Bet you’d love that though, Georgie. Fucking flustered at the very thought, ain’t you?”

George scowled, though he could only watch on as Matty waltzed away, chuckles still bright. He huffed instead and dragged a pitiful hand across his face in hopes to get ahold of himself. But Matty was right, he could feel the warmth of the blush down the length of his back and felt like such a tit for always reacting to the tiniest of interactions she had to offer him.  

“Come on, G! Getting old here!” 

He swallowed heavily at the sound of her voice, but didn’t dare look up just yet. G. It was a first, that was for sure. Hadn’t really stuck around anywhere long enough to make many friends, let alone have a nickname surface. He only hoped it’d stick, especially if she was the one calling out for him.

“I’m coming!” He said after a quick breath and only then chanced a glance, surprised to find her wild eyes still set on him. She flashed him a pleased grin and- “Shit.” He murmured to himself, almost stilling in place at the realisation that hit him. He was so fucking gone, wasn’t he?

—

London was different to Wilmslow, George had decided. Busier. You could hear the noise of the city at night sneak in through the front bedroom window, and feel the shake of the trains that ran across the back of the lane all through the house. It was nice though, these differences. The City. The noise. Mostly because the quiet never had sat well with him.

“Oi, those carrots won’t cut themselves, you know.”

George found himself smiling at the sound of Dee’s voice and pulled his gaze away from the open back door to see her grinning back at him. She was currently cooking up a storm, spices scattered everywhere and water bubbling from a metal pot sat up on the hob, but she’d wanted to make her famous shepherd’s pie for her favourite niece during their stay, and somehow he’d gotten roped into helping.

Not that he’d ever say no, he’d grown fond of the two women that had welcomed him in with open arms far too quickly- but that was without mentioning the lighthearted threats that had been given if he dared even step a toe out of line with her. Or at least, he hoped they were lighthearted.

“Daydreamin’?”

He hummed in return and went back to his kitchen duties, skinning the orange vegetables and then dicing. “Something like that.”

Dee mimicked the sound with a faint titter of her own and he watched closely as she glanced back out the door and into the garden, seeing the scene he’d been so absorbed in.

Nana (“Can’t be callin’ me by nothing else, my darlin’, family’s family and you’re it now.” Is what she’d claimed from the very start, not drawing any attention to the hitched breath George had given in turn) was perched in a deck chair, one of those fabric ones with the silver metal legs and striped cloth backing, a shovel in one hand and a pot in the other. Cyril, who seemed content to laze about in the hazy summer heat, was sprawled out on the grass right beside her, drool dripping from his open jaw and eyes closed. Nana kept patting his belly every few minutes but he didn’t care to move from his slumber.

Birdie was right there with them as well, only she was knee deep in the flowerbeds, soil painting the skin up to her elbows and blackening the overalls she’d adorned earlier. The pink spade she’d picked out was lost somewhere to the left of her and she was squinting in the afternoon sun, attention drifting back and forth between the flowers they were planting and the seventy-three year old giving out orders. They appeared to be speaking about something or other now though, Birdie trying hard to keep her mouth from lifting into an embarrassed sort of smile whilst Nana merely chuckled away.

“How’s she really been?” Dee quizzed him, plopping the carrots he’d cut into another pot before tossing the steaming potatoes that had just been boiled. The question was oddly quiet for her, enough for George to notice at least, seeing as though the woman had been nothing but a rocket since the minute they’d met.

He wondered if she knew, albeit vaguely. But then shook the thought away, if either of these women knew anything that had been going on back home there’d surely be hell to pay. That he understood. Still, it wasn’t his secret to tell and Birdie had been adamant about it, even after hearing his incentives.

“She’s been alright, keeping busy in truth. Got exams soon.”

The red-haired woman hummed again, staring off into space for a moment before those piercing eyes of hers were drilled into his. He fought not to outwardly react.

“Doesn’t seem alright, what with her walking in all battered and bruised. Looks more smurf-like than human to me.”

George swallowed, stuck on what to say, and it wasn’t like he had something to preoccupy himself with now that the carrots were gone. He sighed softly. “She’s… alright- strong, really. Just a lot going on at school, you know? And her mum’s been busy.”

Dee’s tongue prodded the inside of her cheek at that but turned back to fork the mince she was frying. “Never did like her much. But especially after the funeral.” She revealed and looked almost as though she was gritting her teeth to get the words out. “Din’t come to the reception. Just left little Dove here with us and got on the first train home. Could understand, somewhat. Woman had lost a husband, hadn’t she? But then, I’d lost my brother. Mum, a son, and that little girl out there, well, she’d lost her dad. Her mum didn’t want much responsibility for her afterwards, hardly saw the arse-end of her in the long months after. A visit once in a blue moon and a phone call each Thursday. Honestly believed the kid would stay living here with us, until she swanned back in and swept her back up north.”

A silence settled in the breath Dee took then and George’s emotions warred within. He choked them back and swallowed them down to brew. 

“Fought hard to keep her, din’t think the woman was capable of lookin’ after herself, let alone a kid. But,” Dee shrugged then, helplessly. “She’s her mum, ain’t she? Not much we could do about it. Lost touch a bit after that, she wanted distance, said we reminded her too much of him. Claimed our Dove couldn’t stomach the reminder either. So we listened. For her sake if nothing else. Killed my mum though.”

George swallowed thickly. “Can imagine. I don’t know how I’d act if I ever lost her.”

Dee seemed to pause at that, then turned to regard him slowly and with a very sweet smile, one George had never been gifted by an adult in his lifetime. It threw him.

“You’re a good sort, Georgie. Look after her well, don’t you?” Her noiseless chuckle surprised him but then she just shook her head, obviously not expecting an actual answer. He watched on as she inhaled slowly only to then throw the tea towel she’d been clinging onto over her shoulder, wiping the underneaths of her eyes. He didn't know what to say or how to make things better. “Start mashing those spuds for me, would ya doll? Just gonna nip to the loo.”

George could only nod, surprised by the whole event but especially upon seeing Dee suddenly so choked up. He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, seeing as though Birdie came swanning into the kitchen just after her Aunt had disappeared. 

The girl was smiling happily, happier than he’d seen her in a long while, ever even. It made him stop short, if only to take her in. The freckles on her cheeks that the sun had warmed and strengthened. The cheeky smile that dimpled the right corner of her mouth. The wrinkle in her nose that stood out amongst the gentle burn that dotted its bridge…

The twinkle in her eyes as she zeroed in on him.

“Where’s Aunt Dee?” The girl asked, picking up a pea-pod from off the counter and biting into it. George’s face wrinkled in amused anguish.

“Toilet.” He answered her, falling into one of the empty bar stools stood behind. “Finally decided to come help, have you then?”

She stepped closer and smirked up at him. “Nope.” The next bite she took made a massive crunching sound, her grin widened. 

George rolled his eyes, before taking the chance to get another good look at her. If it weren’t for the fact that Nana was looming just beyond the door, he’d have kissed her. 

The woman was a dainty thing, yes, but fucking terrifying too. And seeing as they’d yet to announce anything between them, let alone anyone else, he didn’t want to rock the boat too hard this early on. A few kisses were just a few kisses, right?

“What’s got you in a mard?” Birdie chuckled, reaching out a dirtied finger to poke at his cheek. He dipped away slightly from the offending hand but didn’t put up much of a fight, reckoned she could be covered in mouldy milk and he’d still want to snog her senseless. 

“Nothing, just thinking.” He told her honestly.

She hummed and leaned in closer, pea-pod now gone and her hands tucked into the pockets of her overalls. She was trying to be intimidating, playful. He liked seeing her so alive.

“Try not to hurt yourself there.”

George chuckled, heart beating quicker now. “Always so mean.”

“Hm, maybe. But you like me for it.” She shot back confidently. 

I do. 

“Keep on wishing, B.”

She snorted, and it would’ve been an ugly sound on anyone else, but this was her. His Birdie.

“Oh, I will.” She half-sung, eyes really shimmering now beneath the long lashes they so often hid themselves behind. 

George couldn’t find it in himself to look away, lost on her. 

Then a hand was touching his and he felt something press into the palm of his. Her soil covered fingernails danced over the inside of his wrist for a single second just as she leant in to press her soft lips to his cheek. 

A peck, a smile, and then she was gone it seemed.

George stared off after her, watched the way her hair fell loosely and how the light only seemed to carve a path for her through the dimly lit hallway. She disappeared round the bend and he took a breath before glancing down into his hand.

His mouth dried up at the sight of the old metal lighter which now sat there. And carved ever so carefully into the metal casing at the very bottom was a simple ‘B+G’.

—

“Move over.” Someone grunted somewhere to the right and George struggled against the urge to elbow his way into a more comfortable position. “Tossers.”

He huffed a bit at that but shuffled further left anyway, creating some more room for the giant twat sat on the other end of the backseat in hopes that it’d shut him up. Louis and Birdie were right there between them, Lou half on top of B, and B half on top of him. 

Ross seemed to have gotten the better end of the stick in reality, even if his oversized limbs had been crammed into the back with them. Matty and Adam were more than alright though, happy as Larry sat in the front, fiddling with the radio.

“Will you lot shut up? Might miss it.” Matty snipped, batting away Hann’s hand when he tried to turn up the dial.

“Fuck off, Matty.” Ross shot right back, still sodding squirming. “How the fuck did you even manage to bag the front seat anyway? You’re about the size of my left toe.”

Louis snorted loudly at that, whilst Matty sent Ross a scathing look full of sarky laughter. “It’s my fucking car, that’s why, dickhead.”

Just as Ross drew in another breath to retaliate, Birdie swooped in to save the day, holding out an arm across Louis to signal for Ross to pack it in. “You’re both being annoying, just shut up and stop swearing, yeah? Otherwise we’ll never hear the sodding radio and Denise will have all our heads.”

“Mum says a lot worse.” Louis intoned then, which had them all snickering and Matty high-fiving his little brother whilst looking proud. George hit his head against the window when Birdie ducked slightly to avoid being hit, she winced at the sound it made. 

“Sorry, babe.” She whispered and leant in closer to rub the top of his head gently with a soft laugh. No one else was appeared go be paying much attention to them though, all the focus honed in on the radio.

At first, both him and Hann had argued against getting in the car- could’ve just as easily gathered around the stereo in the kitchen for this- but Matt, Birdie and Ross had been dead set on hearing it in the car.

“It’s got to be in the car! We can’t not hear it in the car!” Matty had argued, and not just for the sake of it, only to have then been cut off by B and her rapid agreement, “Exactly! It’s a car song! People only ever listen to the radio when they’re drivin’!” Her accent was always stronger the more determined she got. “So we’re listening to it in the car whether you lot wanna or not, I don’t care if your balls get squished or your elbows don’t fit. We are.”

And that had been it. Enough said. 

“You’re alright.” George chuckled under his breath, taking her hand in his and pulling them both down into his lap. She seemed content enough to cuddle further into his side at that and he couldn’t even bring himself to mind, thumbing her knuckles whilst he rested his chin atop her head.

“Oh shit, here it is! It’s coming on!”

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuuccck.”

“Shut the fuck up!!”

“Think I’m gonna shit myself.”

Birdie and Louis laughed at their many reactions and George could only cling on a little tighter to the hand that was keeping him grounded. Never had he felt so fucking sick with nerves.

“Shut up you lot, it’s on! It’s on!”

The car fell dead silent at Birdie’s interruption and they all seemed to lean forward in their seats simultaneously, as though it would give them a better chance at listening in. 

“Yeah, and here’s a new one for you.” Huw Stephens’s voice rang out and George could barely believe that they were actually this close, “Just in, and from their recent EP titled Facedown, we’ve got the up and coming sound of The 1975 for you lovely ladies and gentlemen! Buzzing with this one boys, reckon the rest of you will be too. So here it is, this is BBC Radio 1 and up next is The City.”

The whole lot of them broke out into hollers and cheers when the intro played, the entire car bouncing on its wearing tires as they all started to prat about in their excitement. Ross close to shaking Hann’s chair out of its hinges, Louis jumping between the two front seats to turn the dial up even louder, Matty drumming loudly against the dash, Adam kicking his feet, and B, his beautiful B, screaming her heart out for them all as she laughed and clapped and started to sing as loudly as she possibly could alongside Matty’s voice that’d started playing through the speakers.

And all George could think was, fuck.

—

“You’ve gotta run faster!”

“I fucking am!”

“You’re not!” She laughed, the Californian sun warming every inch of her even as it begun to set, “Faster, G!”

“Please, none of that! Hear enough of it back in the bunks, thanks!” Came Matty’s witty quip, earning a few knowing laughs. George turned around to flip him off for it but Birdie appeared to have beaten him to it.

“Jealous much, Matthew?”

“Of G? ‘Course, darling!” Matty quipped as he moved across the sand to drape himself across her back, spliff caught between his fingers. “Should’ve jumped you way back when I had the chance.”

Birdie snorted and elbowed him lightly but didn’t force him away, “Meant of me, you twat. Figured if I hadn’t gotten there first, you might’ve tried your luck with G, Matt.”

“Oh how I wish!” Matty dramatised, sighing loudly as he casted a set of seductive eyes in George’s direction, “Always been gone on you though, our George. I never stood a chance.”

“Yeah, so piss off of her.” George told the curly haired idiot with a small smirk as he made his way back over, a bright orange kite still wrapped around his hand. 

Matty took it as his chance to play the joker though and all but dived for him the second he got close enough, planting a sloppy kiss to the side of his face. George couldn’t help the unmanly sound that escaped him at the gesture and could only laugh along with the rest of them when he shoved the clingy lad off.

“Got me good, you prick.” He chuckled, swiping at his wet cheek.

“And that’s only the start of it, mate.” Matty winked, then made his way back over to where the rest of the band had sprawled about on the sand. “Just imagine it, G! I’d even let you top, you know. A proper giver me.”

Ross cackled at the face Georgemade and Hann rolled his eyes with a smile that couldn’t be helped when Matty dropped himself down beside him, though he took the offered joint with no fuss.

“Can just picture the utter chaos it’d cause.” Ross choked out, sighing happily as he kicked his legs out before him, grinning at the very thought. 

“I’m alright, thanks.” George felt the need to mention as he wrapped an arm around Birdie’s waist, smiling when the girl melted into him, then let up on the string of the kite when her fingers asked for it.

It’d been her idea of course, the kites. Got three of them whilst they’d been stuck in sound check one morning and brought them back to the venue alongside a shit ton of food. They’d only remembered them a couple days later when everyone had decided to spend a free night out on the beach, just them drinking and enjoying what little time they had when not performing.

“Ah, well you’re the one who’ll be missing out, man!” Matty replied with a lazy smirk and George could only laugh, swaying slightly now as he rested his chin atop the girl’s sun-warmed hair. 

“Reckon I’ve already got my hands quite full here, mate.”

“And what’s that meant to mean?” Birdie immediately questioned with a raised brow as she turned in his grip to better face him, “‘Cause I’m pretty sure it’s the other way round, mate.”

“Oh yeah?” George humoured her, he hadn’t even meant anything by it, loved her more than he did the air itself in fact, but it was always fun rilling her up a bit. “How so?”

“Well, you’re proper clingy for one.”

George hissed through his teeth as though wounded, whilst the others oohed. 

“Got you there.” Hann snickered and the others appeared to agree. Was he really that bad?

“And two, you don’t think through half the shit you say sometimes.”

George raised a brow at that.

“Yeah, don’t fucking act like it ain’t true!” She argued with the tiny beginnings of a smile, “The amount of times I’ve had to talk you out of a corner. The lot of yous in fact.”

“Oi, this is rinse G hour, not us!” Matty frowned and threw a thumbs down at them. “TOMATO. TOMATO.”

With a snort, Birdie spun back towards the curly haired freak, “Did you just shout tomato?”

“Yeah,” Matty shrugged, nicking back the joint off Adam that had dwindled down to all but a nub, “Had none to throw, did I?”

Birdie looked towards the sky. “God save me.”

And just like that, the whole band started belting out a Sex Pistols classic in unison.

“God save the queen! She’s not a human being! And there’s no future! And England’s dreamin’!”

“Fucking idiots.” She sighed, but the attention soon diverged when a rowdy crowd started making themselves known a little further down the beach. 

They all shared a look, knowing it’d be best to head back to the bus before they were soon spotted and mobbed, all groaning unhappily as they forced themselves up onto their feet. George started on the clear up, seeing as though he was already standing, Birdie following just behind him whilst the other boys gathered up the beer and whatever else they’d procured.

Starting the trek back to the bus, stationed just past the marina, George allowed the others to walk on ahead a bit and fell into step with B, wrapping an arm around her shoulders whilst they slowly followed behind.

“You know, you looked proper fit running up and down that beach.”

He chuckled at the sudden remark and let her wind an arm around his waist to better allow her body to mould into his. “Yeah, kite an’ all?”

He felt, more than heard her laugh, before she hummed. The vibration of it rippled across the skin just beneath her head. “Defo. Though you could’ve done without all these extra layers.” She replied, then tugged at the hem of his tee to further drill home her point.

“It’s autumn, B, fucking chilly too. You really expect me to go full Baywatch on the beach just to appease you, ey?”

“‘Course.” She answered and he could tell she was smirking by the wave in her tone. “You look good, should show it off more often.”

He didn’t have much of a reply to offer that. Though it wasn’t because she’d caught him off guard, per say, it was just that he still wasn’t used to the way she so openly complimented him, on everything he did, to each and every way he looked. He’d never had that before. But she gave it to him freely, without cost, without expectation.

“Stop flirting with me.” Is what he decided on when he couldn’t find it in himself to dampen the grin he was now sporting. She peered up at him, wearing a sly smile of her own.

“Why, does it get you all flustered?” She teased, obviously pleased with herself as she poked his ribs. He pinched her hip softly in retaliation and laughed when she wrinkled her nose up at him.

“No, I’m just resisting the urge to bend you over on this beach.”

But hey, just because her comments had him flushing like a teenage boy, didn’t mean that he couldn’t give it back twice as bad. Plus, he loved seeing her melt, the way her cheeks would tint that pretty pink colour and how she’d start to chew on her bottom lip simply to keep from smiling.

“You’ll pay for that when we’re back on the bus.”

“Promise?” He snarked back with another chuckle, tugging her in closer.

She hummed once more, fingers playing with the hand that fell from her shoulder now. “Have to keep it down though, don’t need Matty interrupting.”

George’s lip curled, “Nah, on second thought, I’ll just wait for a venue loo stall.”

He laughed happily when she elbowed his side. “Charming.”

—

It was mayhem. Proper, honest to God mayhem. And he’d no idea how things had gotten so out of hand, who half the people traipsing through his living room even were, but he was fucking happy if nothing else. Over the moon, even.

“Geee!”

George glanced to his left just in time to spot a drunken Matty stumbling his way on over, the man clung to his shoulders the first chance he got and grinned up at him. He reeked of beer and wine.

“So fucking pleased for you, mate. Did I mention that already? Just, proper buzzing for you.” The drunkard rambled, eyes squinted from the extremity of his smile.

George chuckled and wrapped an arm around the shorter lad, happy to accommodate his need for comfort as well as keep him upright. Matty was touchy on a good day, but when you’d got a good few drinks in him he was like a sloth to a tree branch.

“You did mention it, mate.” George replied and withheld his amusement when Matty frowned, “But I appreciate it. Really.”

The frown then etched itself into a smile at that, all fond and goofy as Matty wiggled even closer into his embrace, “Good. Fucking deserve it. You and her both, yeah?”

With a harsh sallow, George felt that tightness he’d been feeling in his chest as of late rise. “Thanks, mate.” He croaked out and then coughed to clear his throat. 

Deserve. It was a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, deeming what he did and didn’t deserve. A struggle he’d been dealing with his whole life, and which had only tripled in recent years. The flat was something he’d earned, something both he and Birdie had talked about since they’d both been teenagers. An escape. But they’d already gone and done that, hadn’t they? Left Wilmslow behind, left everyone who didn’t matter behind. Did it make them better than? Safer now? George’s mind was always at war with his head, but as of late, as the band only grew, and as life continued on, it only seemed to get louder.

“Fuckin’ sickkk too!” 

Matty’s drunken nonsense pulled him back from his scattered thoughts then and George smiled down at his mate. The flat was sick, they’d spent weeks searching for the right one, him and B, travelled all over London looking, and then they’d found this one. It wasn’t huge, nothing too fancy or grand, but it was home. And neither one of them had ever had much of that.

“Ross, tell him! Tell him it’s sick!” Matty shouted again, having just spotted Ross making his way through the crowd. The giant looked well on his way to pissed too, but seemed to be holding on quite well. George reckoned it was simply down to his height. 

“It’s sick!” Ross easily repeated, grinning and letting Matty grab onto him too before the idiot saw someone else he knew and started walking away, calling out promises to find them again soon. Ross leaned in to him then and murmured, “What’s sick?”

George breathed a chuckle through his nose and just shook his head, Ross knew better than to prod any further.

“Flat is looking good by the way, mate. Dunno who half of these fuckers are though.” The bassist commented, glancing out around the room.

George could only agree, “Fuck if I do. Pretty sure Grimmy invited a couple dozen of his mates with him.”

Ross started nodding rapidly at that, raising his beer as he did. “Yeah, spotted that Harry Styles in your loo.”

“In my loo?”

“In your loo.”

“The fuck were you doing in my bathroom with Harry Styles, Ross?” George questioned his mate, bewildered now, but even with the state of him, George knew that Ross could make friends with just about anyone. Send the man into a den full of hungry hyenas and he’d walk out with a pal for life. 

Ross simply shrugged, “He was coming out, I was going in, he liked my hair.”

George lifted his eyebrows and pursed his lips, as though that made any sense, “Oh right, yeah.”

Ross hummed then perked up again, “Here she is. The lady of the hour!”

Following the direction of the man’s gaze, George grinned and felt the rest of the room dampen down to a droning droll around him as Birdie walked on over, bottle of wine in tucked under her arm.

“Wahey! Would you look at that!” Ross greeted her cheerfully, roping the girl into a warm hug, “You’ve finally come to see me!”

“I saw you-“ She paused and hiccuped with a half-arsed glare, “-ages ago, you big knobhead.”

“Oof.” Ross sounded, clasping a hand over his hurt heart, “Alright, sorry! Just missed you is all, only had like five minutes with you by the door.”

Birdie pouted then, and George knew she was truly sloshed by the real tears he saw well in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Ro! I haven’t had the chance. There’s all these people here annoying me.” She waved her hand around aimlessly above her head, squinting as she did, before she then huffed. She turned towards George then, all but stepping on his toes to get in his space, not that he minded, “Did you know One Direction are here? In my flat?”

“Our flat.” George corrected with a tiny grin whilst she necked another few gulps of wine.

“What I said, ain’t it?” Birdie retorted, glancing about the room again. “Can you believe Zayn fucking Malik tried to give me a joint too? And I said-“ She hiccuped again then and George reached out to steady her slight;y, “-I told him, right, I said but you’re just a baby! And he laughed at me, G. Laughed! I almost told him that that one song of theirs was shit, but I didn’t. Felt bad for even thinking it. You know?”

Ross was snickering away to the left of them, obviously pleased with the state of their best mate, whilst George attempted to cajole the wine bottle from out under her arm.

“He’s the fit one, ain’t he?”

“They’re all bloody fit, Ross!” Birdie argued with the idiot whilst George sighed, wondering where on Earth he’d found the pair of them, “Got to be ‘cause all them girls love ‘em. Like you lot, I ‘spose.”

That startled quite the laugh out of Ross and he swayed nearer, “You ‘spose? I’m fucking hurt here, are you saying we’re not fit, B?”

She rolled her eyes as though she was annoyed with him for not understanding what she’d meant and groaned, “No, you are fit. Just not as fit as them, yeah?”

George snorted but had finally managed to snag the bottle loose, she frowned and went to take it back, though he seemed to be able to distract her with his next question, “Not fit enough am I, Birdie? Why d’ya not ask one of them to move in with you then?”

The crease between her brow deepened at his ask and her hands came up to wrap themselves around his neck, “‘Cause they’re babies! I’ve just said this, G. Aren’t you listenin’?”

“Think they’re only a couple years younger.” Ross countered but he put his hands up in surrender when Birdie retorted with, “Exactly. Babies, Ross! Tiny little goblin children.”

“Right, yeah. ‘Course.”

George sighed again, “Think it’s time for you to get to bed, B.”

“What? No!” The girl squawked and stumbled in his hold as she reeled backwards, “I’m fine, completeeeely fine! So fine, in fact, that I bet I could do a backflip. Right here. Right now.”

“You can’t do a backflip even when sober, sweetheart.”

“I can too.” She pouted, retracting her arms from around his neck even though he’d yet to relinquish his hold on her. He laughed at her adamancy on the subject though and determined that he’d have to remind her once she’d sobered up. 

“Sure, B.” He soothed, carding a gentle hand through her messy hair and tucking a loose strand behind her ear. 

“You’re really pretty though, G. Like so pretty I feel the need to bark or something. Like a dog would at a squirrel.”

Ross actually lost his footing upon hearing that and spat what little dregs of drink that remained in his mouth out onto their brand new floor. “Bark??” He questioned her, and even though George was just as baffled as he was, he had the fucking common sense not to quiz a drunken twat. No matter how lovely they were.

“Was that a bit much?” Birdie asked him, smiling dopily now as she started to deflate, leaning more heavily into George’s side. Ross made a face and George cut his eyes at the lad. But the girl didn’t seem to notice nor care and simply carried on, “Do you reckon Cillian Murphy would let me marry him? He was well fit in that movie, weren’t he? That one with all them dreams and Tom Hardy… Fuck, I’d fuck Tom hardy. Wouldn’t you, G?”

George pressed his lips together to keep himself from outwardly reacting, doubting that she’d be all that susceptible to being laughed at, then said, “Yeah Birdie, be mad not to.”

He’d expected Ross to find amusement in her words too but only found the man to be nodding along solemnly, George tightened his mouth to hold back an ugly snort. 

“I know!” Birdie went on, and George was practically holding her up now, even as she hiccuped again. “Oh, but he’s not as fit as you, G. Especially when you start doing that thing with your-”

A hand was all too quick to muffle her admission then, and from the dying light in Ross’s eyes George was beyond thankful that he hadn’t given the prick the opportunity to lord something so incriminating over their heads for the rest of their sorry lives. 

“Alright, lovely, time for bed, yeah?”

“Oi, she weren’t done, were you, B? What were you gonna say just then, sweetheart?” Ross tried and barely even reacted to the swift kick George gave his leg whilst Birdie pried his hand away from her mouth.

“I don’t remember. But if I do, I’ll call for you! Yeah?”

Ross nodded in quick succession and George took the chance to start leading his girlfriend away from the rest of the party.

He sighed in utter relief once they reached the last door at the very end of the hallway and shuffled them on through. Their bedroom was halfway through the unpacking stage at the moment, just the bed and a dresser had been put together, so he had to be extremely careful when trying to manoeuvre their way past the many boxes that littered the floor.

“Alright there, love?” George questioned after he’d gone and propped the girl down on the edge of the mattress, already making the effort to start peeling off her socks as well as the dress she’d picked out earlier that evening. She looked stunning in it, even now with her hair in disarray and a small stain marring the collar. 

She hummed softly in response.

“Tired?” He asked. 

“Tired.”

“Thought so,” George chuckled quietly, pulling back the covers so that she could climb in, “Had fun though, yeah?”

“So much.” She answered him, rubbing her eyes sleepily which only removed the mascara she’d popped on whilst getting ready and darkened the underneaths of them. “You?”

“You were there, weren’t you? So ‘course I did.”

“Sap.” She laughed, reaching out to run a hand through his unruly hair. “Love you.”

He smiled and released an airy breath, “Love you. Too much, I reckon.”

She grinned up at him and shuffled further under the duvet, George decided to grab a makeup wipe and help clear up her face, knowing she’d be all stroppy come morning when her skin was horrible and the pillowcases were stained.

“Stay still, you weirdo.” He scolded with a light chuckle when she started to wiggle about beneath his careful hand, “I’m just tryna get this eye shit off for you.”

“Oh.” She whispered, sleep lining every inch of her voice, eyes still wound shut as she hunched her shoulders up towards her ears. “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry, love.”

“But you’re so lovely to me, G. Always.” She sighed, smiling softly.

“What you deserve, ain’t it?” He replied in the same hushed tone, and there was that word again.

“Hm. I’m glad I have you. And our home too.”

George could only smile as he popped the stained wipe into the little bin nearby. 

“Me too, Birdie.” He admitted, sliding in beside the girl to wrap her up in his arms. He could hardly care less about the party still going on outside. He’d locked the door on their way in and Hann had yet to leave, so he was sure that things would soon sort themselves out. Besides, Ross knew where they’d wandered off to if anyone asked so there was nothing more to worry about.

Nothing at all.

—

He could hardly take it.

It was quiet. Eerily so. But his head was too fucking loud. Way too fucking loud. 

He’d been spiralling as of late. He knew it. Could read the signs as easily as he could the morning paper, but it’d been a long while since the last. Before he’d left home even.

But he was. Spiralling. 

He was free-falling. Had lost his footing somewhere on the curb outside and had yet to land, yet to catch his breath.

But everything was good. 

Apart from the not eating. The not sleeping. 

Everything had been good.

He was good. Things were good. Things were fine. 

Fine. Fine. Fine.

Why was he spiralling again? 

He wanted to scream. Throw his fist through a wall and leave it at that. Could feel the agitation he constantly felt cloud him like a cloak. 

His foot started tapping away then, and his fingers soon followed. He itched for a drink, something to ease it all, so he stood from where he’d been holed up by his desk all day and stormed through the flat into the living room.

There was a bar cart of sorts set up there, between the sofa and the tele. A wheeled antique cabinet Birdie had seen on one of their evening escapades and reckoned it would serve well when hosting the alcoholics they called friends. 

George paused by it for a split second before he flipped the doors open, rattling the bottles inside as another round of thoughts plagued his mind. Friends. Did he have any that weren’t hers?

He grunted and dragged one of the newer JD bottles out, the glass clinking against every other in his fidgety haste. He kicked it closed behind him and wandered his way out onto the small balcony, one of the many things that had sold them on the place all those years ago, and unscrewed the lid.

It was late evening now. Seven, eight-ish or so, at least that’s what he reckoned. The streetlights were lit on the narrow street below and it was just beginning to spit, he raised the bottle up towards the Heavens, toasting the weather’s sardonic humour, before he necked a few gulps.

He hated it. Hated everything as of late. The way he looked. How things sounded. When people would smile at him. Joke. Talk. 

He felt trapped. Knotted up with baggage, his head the stone weighing him down. He felt scared. Terrified, even. And he couldn’t for the life of him make sense of any of it. 

He sounded like a fucking prick. He knew that. But he didn’t much care, because what was the point in caring anyway? When they’d yet to even start on the next album they’d promised. Yet to even write another song. It was too much. All he ever felt was pressure. Coming at him from all sides. When he was in the studio. When he was at home. 

No one could leave him the fuck alone.

“George?”

A voice called out distantly, he was quick to down another shot of the murky liquid and squeeze his eyes tightly shut to simply give himself a second of reprieve, before he stepped back through the balcony doors and into the warmth of the flat. 

He grunted in reply after he’d tucked the bottle up onto a high shelf and switched on the tele, if only to make it seem like he hadn’t been stewing in his own head since he last seen her that morning.

“There you are, picked up takeaway on my way home. Figured you might not have eaten yet.” Birdie greeted as she waltzed through the living room, pecking his cheek before heading on over to the kitchen. He watched through the transom window as she placed a white carrier bag onto the counter then make a grab for the plates in one of the higher cabinets, coat already having been shucked off in the hallway and slippers on her feet. “You get much done today then?” She asked him, “Spoke with Matty on my lunch break, he’ll be in London again next week.”

George could only hum, eyes focused intently on the tele screen but not taking any of it in.

“You even watching that? Sound ain’t even turned on, you dafty.” She laughed from the other side of the wall. He heard her riffle through the drawers for something or other, but didn’t reply. “G, babe. You alright?”

“Fine.”

Fine. Fine. Fine.

He had to force himself to breath.

“Fine? Don’t sound it, love. What’s up?” She questioned further, having stopped what she was doing to wander back in.

He gritted his teeth. She only ever prodded. Poking and poking. More and more. Incessant. Never knew when to give the fuck up. 

“I’m fine. Just said that, didn’t I?”

She paused, surprised by the bite behind his words. He swallowed heavily, the bitter twang of whiskey still stained his tongue, his teeth. 

“Don’t have to be like that, G. Was just asking.” Was what she replied with after a long and silent minute had passed. 

George could only scoff, throwing the tv remote he still clung to somewhere onto he sofa behind him. “Yeah, well don’t. I’ve said I’m fine. So leave it, will you?”

She made this face, the same one she always did when she was hurt, but not anything teary or sad, just angered. “This what I’ve got to look forward to each time I come home, then? You and these foul fucking moods you work yourself into. What, all ‘cause tours stopped and the album’s not coming along the way you hoped? Well, boo-fucking-hoo, George. That’s life. Not everything’s perfect. And you don’t get to sit there and take it all out on me, day in and day-fucking-out.”

“Just fuck off, Birdie. I don’t need your shit on top of everything else.” George snipped back and wasn’t fully prepared for the way she shot towards him, snatching up the tele remote to switch the whole thing off just so he’d look at her.

“Don’t call me that when you’re being the prick. I haven’t done a thing wrong, only asked after you.”

George rolled his eyes, already tired of it all. “Leave it out.” 

He then huffed and went to grab the set of silver keys that had been left on the console.

She threw her hands up in the air, shoulders hunching. “What the fuck, G? Where’re you going now? You can’t just leave like this.”

“The fuck I can’t.” He snorted unkindly, shaking his head as he shoved the keys into his pocket and made his way back through the house to get to his studio.

“George.” He heard her call after him, but not too far behind. “At least tell me where you’re going so I know you’ll be safe. You’ve been drinking again so you can’t fucking drive. Call a cab or something, head to Hann’s.”

His fists were at his temple then, drilling themselves a hole there, if only to subside some of the torment he felt his mind swimming in. She was at the door a second later, looking lost and hurt, sad now, not angry. 

“G, please.”

He didn’t know why but he just laughed a little to himself after having heard her plea, hands falling aimlessly to his sides as he shook his head once more. “I can’t fucking do this anymore.” He heard himself say.

She sighed, this heavy thing that weighed her down before it expanded out into the rest of the room, almost as if it wanted to suffocate not just her but him too. “Can’t do what?”

“This!” He said harshly, hardly even sparing her a glance as he begun to pack away his laptop, his mixing shit, and whatever else cluttered the desk. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“I just can’t keep fucking pretending! Can’t-” He faltered and faffed his hand about in midair before throwing it downwards to shove a charger into a case, “Can’t carry on like I’m fine. Like everything’s fucking fine, all the fucking time. Like it’ll all work out. Like this is where I’m meant to be.”

A long stretch dragged out between them and all that could be heard was the traffic of the inner city from just outside their flat. He used to love it, but despised it in that second.

“I don’t… I don’t know what you want me to do, George. What you need to make things better.”

He was shaking now, trembling even. Noticed it as his hand faltered when going to pick up the hard-drive sat behind a frame she’d gifted him for his twentieth birthday, one that had sat proudly on his desk ever since he’d unwrapped it.

“I’m gonna go to LA for a bit.” He heard himself murmur whilst he dragged his gaze away from the smiling duo behind the glass. “Stay with Matty, work on the album, explore some of the options out there.”

“For how long?”

Her voice had never seemed so small.

“I don’t know.” He returned and forced himself to continue packing up, tucking his phone into his back pocket and breathing as much as his hollow lungs would allow. “Just, I don’t know, alright. Don’t wait for me, yeah? I’ll figure it out.”

A surprised albeit wet scoff bypassed her mouth then, “What’s that meant to mean? Are you ending things? Is that what this is?”

He squeezed his eyes shut again, if only to appease the swirling storm going on inside his head. His chest ached with the very motion and he fought not to spare her another look as he turned around to head down the hallway.

“George! You can’t just say shit like that and leave.” She shouted, though there were tears in her voice. “If you’re ending things with me, at least have the balls to tell me straight.”

“I don’t fucking know what I’m doing! Alright?” He shouted back at her, the pounding in his head, the whispers, growing in tenfold as he spun around on his heel to stare back the only girl he’d ever loved. “I feel trapped! And I fucking hate it! I don’t want to leave but what else is there? Stay here and drive myself fucking insane?”

She appeared to fold in on herself then, just looked back at him with eyes of dying wildfire and he had to live with the knowledge that he’d been the one to snuff them out.

“We were happy. And I love you. Isn’t that enough?”

The anger was long gone now, replaced only by a hot and heavy pit of grief. “But what if I’m not in love with you anymore?”

George watched her break into pieces, right there on the hallway floor before his very eyes. And he couldn’t even reach out to hold her together, to take back the cruel words.

“I love you.” He croaked, “But-”

“You’re just not sure if you’re in love with me.” She finished for him, wet tears hanging from her chin and drowning out what little flames she’d had left behind her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

It was all he could think to say.

“Sorry.” She mimicked, “Why? Why now?”

He swallowed, but there was a rock stuck there at the very top of his windpipe. He couldn’t get the right words out. Felt as though all his organs were failing. 

She shook beneath his hands and it was that reaction that had him realising that he’d crossed the floor to meet her. He was crying too he found, because when he stared into her eyes she was all blurred and disfigured. 

She clung to the front of his t-shirt in that next second and he wound his hands around her wrists, not pulling them away, just holding.

“Please.”

And everything inside him shattered with that one word. 

Splintered his entire being, in truth, and sent whatever was left of him ricocheting outwards. She’d gotten caught in the crossfire it seemed and he could only lean in a little closer to press his lips to her forehead whilst she sobbed all she had left to give into his shoulder.

—

Her head was rested against his arm and George did his very best not to move a single inch, even with the turbulence of the plane shaking them this way and that, in hopes not to wake her.

The doctor had given her the okay to fly and although the lot of them had been all too happy spending a couple of weeks hiding away in sunny Spain, working on the album and recovering, it was nice to finally be headed home. 

The only thing that had him on edge though, was the life waiting there for them. What would happen once the plane finally landed and they were back on familiar ground? He questioned how long it would take for her to realise the massive mistake she’d made. If she would end things the same way he had. 

Probably not, she was a lot of things but cruel had never been a word he’d use to describe her. 

He glanced downwards then, towards her. She’d taken the window seat, of course, but thankfully he’d been left with an empty seat on the other side of him. The rest of the boys were stuck a little further up, Ross and Matty conked the fuck out, whilst Hann rewatched one of the many Lord of the Ring films. 

She looked peaceful whenever she slept and it always seemed to settle some anxious stirring deep within him when he saw her like that. Reckoned it was only because he could be certain that she was fine, that nothing could harm her with him sat this close. Or at least that’s what he used to think. Couldn’t really claim that now though after he’d been the one to tear her to pieces. 

George gripped the hand he held a little tighter with that thought, but not enough to wake her.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our descent into London. The local time is 3:36. Please turn off all electronic devices and stow them away until we have arrived at the gate. For your safety and the safety of those around you, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened and keep the aisles clear until we are parked at the gate. Thank you for flying with us, we hope you have enjoyed your flight.’

He drew in a nervous breath at the overhead announcement, but gathered himself enough to then shift in his seat slightly. He knew that if he didn’t wake her now he’d only drag it out, hold out hope that they’d soon fly through a strange portal and into a whole other world instead of landing in Heathrow like planned.

“Hey, B.” George called softly, jostling the girl sat beside him ever so gently. She sniffed and then took a deep breath in before stretching herself outwards, “B, love. Wake up, we’re landing soon.”

“Hm?” She questioned sleepily, and George could only chuckle as she forced her head further into the darkness his shoulder had to offer.

“About to land, babe.” He repeated again, stroking the back of her head as she continued to rouse herself, “Reckon those pills worked a treat, you passed out twenty minutes in.”

“Praise modern medicine.” Is the reply Birdie gave him and he snorted in return, burying the sound in the top of her head.

“Feeling alright?”

She hummed into the muscle of his chest before pulling away to blink sleepily up at him. “Yeah, neck doesn’t even ache that much.”

“Reckon that’s ‘cause you used me as a pillow.”

With a wrinkle of her nose, the girl then smiled, “I’ll be sure to return the gesture in the cab back then.”

George’s thoughts seemed to still at that and the anxiety he’d been shoving way deep down rose up like the City of Atlantis thought to if Armageddon ever did occur. It must’ve shown on his face too, because Birdie was frowning the next time he glanced over at her. 

“What’s up?” She asked him, voice still full of sleep, eyes still bleary.

He opened his mouth to wave her worries away, but found he couldn’t.

“G?” She prodded with a small but beautiful smile. “Go on, you can tell me.”

“I know.” He murmured, but still felt conflicted as his gaze dragged between her own. “I’m just. I-” He lost himself in his head again, each breath growing harsher.

“Me too.” He heard her admit.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She chuckled, smiling again but this time she took his hand in hers. George let it ground him. “It’ll be strange, but we’re together, yeah? Everything will work out.”

He was stuck there, frozen in place, thousands of miles up in the sky, and honest to God gone on this girl. How he’d managed to find her in the first place, he didn’t know, but to have lost her and then won her back also? Well, it gave him the answer to a question he’d been asking for years.

What did he deserve? 

What did anyone deserve, really? 

He didn’t truly know, but happiness felt like a pretty fair answer.

“I love you, you know that?”

She laughed at him, not unkindly, and he felt her squeeze his hand. “I do. And you’ll be pleased to know it’s very much reciprocated.”

George rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips, “Oh, lovely that. Thanks.”

Birdie grinned as she chuckled, pulling him in close to gift him a quick kiss.

“Love you too, you ginormous sap!”

He could only laugh in retort, shaking his head before he dragged her back in for something a little more substantial. 

George felt, more than saw, the grin he was sure matched his and found that he didn’t ever want to pull away again. 

Epilogue>

[jamiesfootball]

Augusnippets Day 24

Alternate Prompt: flashbacks

cw: implied/referenced child abuse, referenced past choking/strangulation, flashbacks, panic attacks

Summary:

He shakes his head and swears warmly, the way he must’ve done a million times before– “I should fucking strangle you.”

Sequel to this

Here on AO3

It’s a fucking joke. Roy doesn’t really mean it.

It’s the third time that morning that Jamie tries to steal a sip from Roy’s water bottle, despite the fact that his own bottle remains halfway full. He’s spent all morning doing his best to rile Roy up – jogging faster than Roy can keep pace, singing the same four lines from that annoying pop song on repeat, running backwards ahead of him despite Roy’s repeated shouts that he’s going to trip and fall and then Roy’s going to make him crawl home.

Jamie grins at that. His bright orange water bottle sloshes as he tosses it back and forth between his hands, and he smarts back that that’s the only way Roy could beat him in a race. Then without pausing, he asks if Roy’s planning on using last night’s chicken to make chicken salad for lunch, because that’d be mint.

It’s a normal fucking day.

So when Jamie ducks into Roy’s space again, grinning wildly and unabashedly pleased with himself, it’s second nature for Roy’s arm to raise up to fend him off.

Also second nature: the low growl it elicits when Jamie dances out of reach. Roy doesn’t even consciously think about moving; his reflexes have him taking a step forward to catch his would-be water poacher by the nape. His hand cups around the back of Jamie’s neck. He gives it a short squeeze, and something irritatingly, blisteringly fond digs fingers into his ribs. He shakes his head and swears warmly, the way he must’ve done a million times before–

“I should fucking strangle you.”

Jamie, bouncy and restless and maddeningly cheerful, goes completely still. The skin under Roy’s palm goes cold, chilled like he’s been doused by a bucket of ice water. The light in his eyes flicks off, all traces of emotion blinking out of existence between one second and the next, replaced with a horribly blank nothingness. Like Roy’s accidentally gone and found the button that finally turns him off.

The neon-bright water bottle, with its stickers and spare headband wrapped around the lid, slips out of lifeless hands to fall dead on the grass. The cap spills open. Water sloshes everywhere. Jamie takes a quick step back. Then he wobbles, then his legs give out, and Roy barely manages to grab him by the shoulders. He guides him shakily to the ground.

“Hey. Hey. That’s it, easy. Down, that’s a good lad, that’s good. Come on, now, breathe for me..”

Jamie pulls his legs up to his chest, his forehead digging into his knees. He’s gasping now, his breaths turned into sharp, whistling hitches. One of his hands fists into his joggers; the other curls into his shirt, pulling the neckline away from his throat as he struggles to breathe.

Roy crouches beside him, running his hand along his back in rhythmic, steady circles, the way he would if it were Phoebe or Keeley or any of the people he was somewhat qualified to console.

After what feels like a million aching years, the panting begins to subside. The tension in his back unwinds. His hands uncurl, his fingers white with how painfully tightly they’d been twisted up. The front of his shirt is stretched beyond ruin, and his hand trembles as he tries to flatten it back down.

Jamie finally reappears, warily peeking up. He’s still pale-faced and blank, but there’s an alertness behind his red-rimmed eyes that wasn’t there before. Confused, he takes in the park and the grass and the old ladies in the distance and the parents with their prams and picnics before his attention finally lands on the person kneeling in front of him.

He croaks out a hoarse, “What?”

“Here,” says Roy. He holds out the water bottle that started this mess. “Drink this.”

He waits anxiously as Jamie unscrews the cap. He doesn’t take more than a sip, and even that small amount makes him sputter, coughing weakly into his shoulder.

After an elastic stretch of silence, Roy dares to ask, “Has that happened before?”

Jamie chokes on a laugh. It’s a scornful, cutting noise that Roy never wants to hear again. “Yeah. Yeah, you can say that.”

Roy frowns. “More than once?” He’d fucking hoped it was a one-off.

Jamie spins the bottle absently between his palms, watching the liquid swish around. With feigned indifference drawn around him like a shield, he shrugs. “A few times I guess.”

“Ok.” Roy nods woodenly. “All right.”

He settles his hand on Jamie’s shoulder. Jamie jumps a bit at the contact, but he doesn’t pull away, and Roy considers that a victory. He doesn’t know what the fuck else he’s supposed to be doing here. After witnessing something like that, it feels like he should have something to say, but he doesn’t. He should’ve asked Ted more questions. He should’ve joined the Diamond Dogs years ago, if only for the practice. He should’ve started therapy when he was nine.

After going in circles over whether or not it’s a stupid question, Roy takes the risk and asks, “Is there something specific that triggers it or some shit?”

Is there anything I can avoid to make sure that never fucking happens again.

The hastily drawn bravado trembles like a mirage. Jamie cocks his head, confused. A vulnerable shadow flickers across his expression. “What?”

“Is it you know-,” Roy spins his hand in the air, “-is it brought on by anything?”

They stare at each other blankly, two hamsters spinning on different wheels. Jamie’s speedy little rodent gets there a half second sooner. He shrinks back, his shoulders bunching up protectively around his ears. “Oh. Oh. You thought I meant-“

“What did you think I was talking about–“

It clicks.

Roy hates that it clicks.

He sits down on the grass; his sister can come pick him up later if he has trouble standing up. This is too important.

“Thought for a moment there that you were gonna choke me,” Jamie spells it out. Simple, ugly words that bruise to hear. “Knew you wouldn’t, but–“

“It’s happened before,” Roy finishes.

Jamie drops his head back onto his knees with a sharp exhale. Nods.

“I never knew when it was going to happen,” Jamie confesses. “I mean, I could usually tell when he was in a bad mood. Whether it was a bad day or whether it was something I had done. But I could never tell if it was gonna be… that.”

It isn’t news that his dad’s a piece of shit; it’s just the breadth of it that’s staggering.

Roy doesn’t think he’ll ever get to the point where hearing the details doesn’t make him want to put his fist through a wall — or better yet, James Tartt’s face. Honestly, he never wants to; he never wants to get to the point where he takes these harsh glimpses being shared with him for granted.

More important than all of that is the hunched figure sitting beside him, tearing grass from the earth in tense clumps as he waits for Roy’s verdict.

“Shit,” Roy says under his breath. “Jamie. That’s fucked up.”

Jamie freezes. Slowly, he unclenches his fist. Blades of grass trickle out of it, blown free by the wind. With a note of hope in his voice, he says, “Yeah?”

It’s such an earnest question it breaks Roy’s fucking heart.

“Yes,” Roy insists. “Fuck. Christ, Jamie. You didn’t deserve that shit.”

“Might’ve. You don’t know.”

“The fuck I don’t,” Roy snaps. “No one deserves that shit.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t always tell that, could I?” Jamie bites back. His shoulders rise defensively. “You know what they say: the pot doesn’t fall far from the kettle.”

Jamie flops back in the grass, arms folded petulantly across his chest like he’s won the argument. The neon orange bottle lays empty at his feet, and Roy’s plain black one sits next to it like a menacing shadow.

Roy inhales sharply between his teeth. He’s trying not to be the shadow.

“That’s not what they say.”

“I’m pretty sure it is. You know, how once a table’s been flipped over, they can tell where it was standing before because everything sort of falls in the same direction?”

“That’s not–,” Roy cuts himself short. He takes in Jamie, the way he’s splayed out like a frog ready for autopsy: pinned open and vulnerable to poking. He is, Roy’s beginning to realise, eerily good at pretending his trauma isn’t on display, and even better at getting Roy to fall for the act.

Like there's a chance Roy might go home and forget he ever said anything.

Roy shakes his head. “Actually that makes some sense.”

“See? Told ya.”

“But it’s just a metaphor. That doesn’t make it true,” he adds forcefully. “If anything, your dad isn’t the kettle in that situation; he’s the man flipping the table.”

Jamie blinks up at the sky. His eyes shine. “Yeah. Maybe.”

After a brief moment’s hesitation, Roy lies down next to him. He’ll regret it when he tries to stand up again, but for now that doesn't matter.

The sky is stupidly blue. A brisk wind slides in from the north. Families and old ladies and loud teenages and sloppy, happy dogs circulate around the park, lives continuing on their merry way with no concern for the two resting figures in the grass.

“Do you ever wish you were a frog?” asks Jamie, already moving on, lacing up his boots, and preparing to leave the moment in the wind.

Roy lets him. It’s the least he can do. That, and brace himself for the day it all catches up. Roy doesn’t need to win the race; he just needs to be waiting at the finish line.

Until then, it’s a normal fucking day.

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (23-29 Jun 2024)

what a fucking week, lads (gn)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 "How to Raise a Kraken in Your Bathtub" (P. Djèlí Clark) - 2024 Locus Award winning short story - 'fuck around and find out' with 19thC colonialism!

🥰 there's a trick with a knife (i'm learning to do) (mellyflori) - 65K, Kaysanova modern AU - really good enemies-to-lovers that digs in to why they clash at first and the very organic way that turns around. tbh this could easily be original fic [positive] as except for J/N it's all OCs, and J/N's characterizations are not OOC but are also perfectly standalone

🥰 Outgrow the shoes of expectations (destinationtoast) - 62K, solid canon-divergent Keeley/Roy/Jamie fic [structured more as K/R opening the relationship up to J but ends in such a way that a true polycule is not unreasonable]

💖💖 +222K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Aspirations (neapeaikea) - 9-1-1: Buck/Tommy, 11K - very cute, fun teacher AU

Three Weddings and a Funeral (materialism, sparklyslug) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 35K - 2nd entry in the lovely Let us Dwell in Fair Ithilien and There Make a Garden series - four vingettes of Steve and Eddie before and after their second chance

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Thousandaires - s1, e3

Game Changer - s4, e9-10

Make Some Noise - s3, e1

Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Doctor Who - s1 (series 14), e8

D20: Never Stop Blowing Up - "Be Kind, Rewind" (s22, e1)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Yoshi Thicc" (s17, e1)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

⭐99% Invisible - The Power Broker #06: Mike Schur

Consider This - Fifteen years after his death, Michael Jackson's legacy remains complicated

⭐ What Next: TBD - Is Your Phone Tracking Your Driving?

Re: Dracula - June 24: Dreadful Thing of Night

Re: Dracula - June 25: Dead or Asleep

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Will they or won't they? Unpacking TV's eternal question

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - In The Heart Of NYC, A Refuge For Birds

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Grizzly Adams: America’s Mythic Mountain Man

WikiHole - Girl Dinner (with Greta Titelman, Sam Taggart and Zach Noe Towers

Dinner’s on Me - Margaret Cho

99% Invisible - Backfired: The Vaping Wars

It's Been a Minute - Can't stop the (classical) music

⭐ Vibe Check - She Ain't No Diva

Dinner’s on Me - Joel Kim Booster

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Roop Kund

Ologies - Puffinology (PUFFINS) with Jill Taylor

Wild Card - Lena Waithe's religion is 'The Wizard of Oz'

Wild Card - Lena Waithe's relationship goals + Taylor Tomlinson's childhood idol (Wild Card+)

⭐ Throughline - Pop Music's First Black Stars

Short Wave - Move Over Norse Mythology, There's A New Loki In Town — A Dinosaur

It's Been a Minute - Girl, that remix, so healing; plus, gay vampires

What Next: TBD - Why Extreme Weather Keeps Surprising You

Dear Prudence - My In-Laws Disrespected My Daughter, So I Kicked Them Out. Help!

Endless Thread - This is Not a Pyramid Scheme

⭐ Strong Songs - "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen

If Books Could Kill - Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Re: Dracula - June 29: Tonight is Mine

Hit Parade - The Bridge: Center of the “World”

🎶��MUSIC 🎶

The Beach Boys Radio • Chill

Shout-Out Party Hits

Chicago Radio • Upbeat

Charli XCX

Fleetwood Mac

[wetcatspellcaster]

if you’re still doing the ask game: 18, 24, and 65?

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

it's a mixture! once or twice, i've had the fic title before i've had the fic (what a beautiful moment that has been). usually, the title comes about halfway through writing, when I've worked out what I want the tone of the story to be.

as for how I come up with titles... idk. sometimes things just make sense to me (like party favours, I was like, good pun! to the point!) other times I've felt like Mr Ancunin deserves a fic named after a hozier song :') I think it's just what feels right, either from song lyrics or turns of phrase. I'm still not entirely sold on An Honest Lie, tbh, but I kind of have to commit now ;)

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

I feel really bad bc someone said this to me recently, and I don't mean the recent instance but... "show don't tell" pisses me off, so much (circa 2016 when i first heard it).

authorial voice just doesn't work like that. there's no hard or fast rules. like yeah, sometimes 'he was sad' is underwhelming, and there will be much better ways to express the same concept, including through stage directions. other times, a blunt and boring sentence is precisely what is required in the moment, to make your point. as someone who is already so fucking wordy, with most of my writing, sometimes I really fucking need to 'tell' actually. Otherwise we'd have another 100,000 words on our hands lads.

focus on developing a style you enjoy and are happy with, and it will become distinctive to you. ignore people who tell you what you should, or shouldn't do :')))) particularly if you're at the point where you're becoming confident in your voice

65. Tell us what are you're most looking forward to writing in your current project(s)

....graveyard smash, and official Astarion Act 3/spawn endgame characterisation, finally (in an honest lie)

....Astarion/Rosalie first kiss, for all the Wrong Reasons (in cooler than me)

get to know your writer

[certifiedbi]

Took some notes for @dark-nymph3t on the Englands Vs Scotland match for the women's nations league and so here's my audition to be a full time sports commentator because I'm so good at it. Don't think I need to say which team I was supporting

'15 - Lucy bronze is so sexy

'16 - haha hempo get fucked

'16 - AHHH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!!?!

'16 - OMG *kiss for goalie*

'16 - SCOTLAND! SCOTLAND!

'20 - wow carter that was rude

'20 - MARY EARPS FUCK YOU!!!!! STOP BEING SO GOOD

'23 - not another England corner

'23 ⚽ - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOO FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKK

'24 - offside ?!?!?

'25 - OFFSIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

'27 - fuck we were so close there

'31 - that kit is so cute I want one

'32 - wow first corner and we fuck it

'32- WAIT

'32 - omg Earps fuck off

'34 - our goalie is called Lee Gibson she got married recently and it's her 32nd bday tomorrow happy birthday girl (note: I did not know anyone on my team bar the other goalie Jenna Fife I learnt as I watched)

'36 - oh ouchie ball to the face for our Thomas

'38 ⚽ - FUCK OFF LUCY BRONZE YOU ARE NOT SEXY ANYMORE

'39 - why are they playing the 'oh pecco bagnaia' song? I'd probably prefer to see him rn tbh

'43 - a match at Hampden park Vs Belgium? Hmmm I might go

'44 ⚽ - I'm just going to kms now

'45 - no sir I CANNOT boogie

'45 + 1 ⚽ - YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! SCOTLAND! SCOTLAND!!!! YESSIR! I CAN BOOGIE!!!!!!

~

'45 - ok we are back no changes

'52 - haha nearly an own goal from England

'58 - Ella toone on? No thank you!

'60 - why are we having a team GB at the Olympics? Do we usually have that???

'62 - MEARPS AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK!!!

'63 - CORNER!!! SCOTLAND! SCOTLAND!!

'63 - nvm fucked it again

'64 - why are our other goalies warming up?

'65 - "good spell for Scotland" ikr we are so good

'74 - awe man so close again

'75 - noooooo off the bar that would have been so good

'81 - ohhhh scotland debut go girl you look so violently Scottish miss Gallagher but ily

'83 - only 5 fouls? I expected better from us

'89 - oh no a player out

'90 - only 3 minuets extra? Were fucked

'90 + 1 - Hahah England scored but it was offside and the comms noticed but no one else did

'90 + 2 - FUCK OFF EARPS AGAIN NOOOOOO

'90 + 3 - 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞 we are not boogieing tonight lads

[queersatanic]

Satanic Temple co-founder "Lucien Greaves" talks about high school bullying as Nazi national anthem plays

Via The.Satanic.Wiki

On Sept. 11, 2003, future co-owner of The Satanic Temple Doug “Lucien Greaves” Misicko, his friend and collaborator Shane Bugbee, and Shane Bugbee’s wife Amy Stocky hosted a 24-hour Internet radio stream with guests and callers to mark the release of their new edition of the proto-fascist manifesto Might Is Right. The following year, Doug Misicko continued to appear on Internet radio streams with Shane and Amy. “The ABCs of the Alphabet” was one such program. This is an excerpt from one of those recordings.

CW: n-word slur, fascism, arson, bullying, fatphobia, ableism

Full transcript:

24:47 Doug Misicko 

I once lit a pep assembly on fire, and I did not get expelled for it. All those people! I used to get in trouble for most everything I did, and I thought it wasn't fair. And then I was sitting at this boring pep rally because they caught me trying to leave. And there's a big paper banner, and I just lit it on fire. The thing went up. [German marching music starts playing] And I thought, "Oh shit, it's all over." But they put it out and they never figured it out. And apparently nobody saw me do it. (Amy Bugbee: Wow, you never got caught?) It was the most amazing thing I never got caught for... (Shane Bugbee: I love it.) But speaking about whacking you on the head with a big book or whatever. There was a- in my high school...

25:27 Shane Bugbee 

Doug, you don't mind I'm playing "Hitler Youth" songs underneath you, do you? (Doug Misicko: No, it's fine.) It's a good march there. We got four minutes.

25:34 Doug Misicko 

Maybe I can tell a story then. (Shane Bugbee: Marching, Doug, like this. [goose-stepping noises]) In high school I used to have a swim class first hour. Yeah? And this was when I was like, yeah-

25:42 Shane Bugbee 

He's like saying that because I get high. And then I, in high school. I always, if we had if you had swim class first period, that means you could roast bowls — yes, I'm stuck in the Eighties — all day. And you could just say, "I had a swimming class first period." Ha-ha, ha-ha.

25:58 Doug Misicko 

And chlorine made you bloodshot, right? (Shane Bugbee: Yeah.) But anyways- I didn't do that. But, we had this stupid teacher in the class who would sit in his office, and then we're all supposed to not get in the pool. "Don't get in the pool until he comes out and takes attendance," which was us lining up and calling off a number. Every fucking morning we get there. And there's this fat kid, Jeremy something.

26:19 Shane Bugbee 

Hey. That's like saying "[n-slur]" in front of a Black guy. I'm fat. You can use, the "rotund".

26:25 Doug Misicko 

Right- (laughing) Pleasant- pleasantly plump lad. Every morning. Every morning, the dumb shit wouldn't figure it out. This kid would walk out, we throw him in the pool. He'd splash around screaming yelling and the teacher would come out and yell at him every time he said (shouting) "JEREMY! GET OUT OF THERE!" (laughter) But it happened Every. Single. Morning. They were both so stupid. (shouting) "JEREMY! GET OUT OF THERE!" (laughter) ...High school was all provoking people and getting in fights.

26:57 Shane Bugbee 

High School was all about gettin' high.

26:59 Amy Bugbee 

Yeah, high school was all about getting high, and not going.

[nardonotes]

26 oct '24

4:30am

lads.... (≖_≖ ) ok first of all,, there's going to be two posts with the 26th because im basically writing about the 25th rn but it's 4:30am so it's the 26th ANYWAYS-

so i woke up late asl,, there wasn't a specific time to go in my work experience anyways, and the last time i went it was like 12pm,, so ?? they teased me for it a little bit but like y'all are not paying me AT ALL also im going fucking warehouse work when i should be sitting upstairs with the graphic designers and watching them work so i get an insight of what this career path looks like for me in the future. ⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́ )੭*⁾⁾ so like.... i will SHOW UP WHENEVER I WANT TO FUCKING SHOW UP. and im not filling that fucking 60hrs omfg,,,, literally just gna lie to their asses because i did so much work today with no break. literally free fucking labour. but god bless i dont have to think about it for another week. ( ≧ᗜ≦)

when i got home, i literally knocked tf out. like i was soooo exhausted. wait i just lied- before i knocked out, i ate CRAB !!! (one of my favourite food, i love seafood a lot) and went to the repair store with my sister to help her get her laptop fixed. (¬⤙¬ ) OH! and i also got my film i developed. im kind of done with getting them printed in though,, i think i'll just take digitals from now on, and if i want certain film printed, ill either do it myself or pay less than like a tenner for a few.

so where was i- THEN I KNOCKED OUT!!!! i slept at 6pm and woke up at like 11pm? i felt so good after though,, i ate, cleaned my room, washed my sheets, CHANGED MY SHEETS EEEEEEKK!!!!!!!1 i love love love new sheets :33 now im writing this. im kind of hungry though... im so glad i don't have to do shit tomorrow. i'm going to watch IVE stuff because it's been so long since i have and i need my coping mechanism to cope my mechanism. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hmm,,,, what else. oh right the girl; HOUUUGGHHH...,.,..,..,.,,,......,. like/... this minor (which is not so minor bc we're grown enough to communicate) issue just turned me off so bad like... she's not very good at communicating. and the more i think about it, it's like,, she didn't even apologise for cancelling.. so like u clearly dgaf. so... (¬_¬") idgaf anymore./ i kinda lost interest after this,, if she wants to raincheck properly with me, she can put in the effort bc i can't be assed.. i already expressed that i was lookin forward to it- and that i'd like to know when she's free, and if her roommate doesn't fuck up her plans again (which i also think is just an excuse. ahem.) it's fine tho really,, i watched wony vids last night and was like wow... i don't need nobody but her ( ´ཀ` ) like wow... shit got me droolin ( ´ཀ` ) ( ´ཀ` ) ( ´ཀ` )//..

LOL. anyways. im excited to just rest and recharge this week. i'm going to try and not make so much plans with anyone either because.. i need this time alone xD....

ok goodnight/morning. im going to find something to eat, and then watch some stupid youtube shit!! eeek!!!!! so excited!!!!!!! <3 never kill yourself. <33

song of the day: Mercury by Ravyn Lenae °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[libsplus]

Peter Doherty at Kanteena 30/08/24 by Ava Dangerous, Libs+ fanpage (tumblr & instagram)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Peter put on a spectacular performance last night in Lancaster's Kanteena. Here's what happened in case you missed it:

Supported by the wonderful Charlie Bueller and Get Down Services. Peter played some rare/niche some songs last night- Hooligans On E, Never Never, East Of Eden and Monkey Casino (aka Pipey McGraw).

He also did You Talk - a song I haven't heard live yet - as well as 3 or 4 new songs that may possibly be for an upcoming record. He played familiar hits such as Killimangiro, Music When The Lights Go Out, Albion, Run Run Run, Don't Look Back Into The Sun, Time For Heroes, What Became Of The Likely Lads, What a Waster, Fuck Forever and Can't Stand Me Now.

Roadie/guitar tech/tour manager Andrew Newlove joined Peter on stage as well as support artist Charlie Bueller. Doors may have opened (very!) late, but Peter sure did more than make up for it by playing for a brilliant hour and a half set. Even though my feet were aching by the end of the night, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and was in tears of happiness.

Till next time, keep on shambling! X

Till next time, keep on shambling! X

[zeldamacgregor]

For the Character Ask Game: 4, 11, and 25 for Crowley, and 1, 5, and 24 for Alec Hardy, please! (Any or all)

Thanks for these!!!

Crowley 4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? Hmm outside of book and tv, I guess I'd give us a wonderful feature film.

11. Would you date this character? No, because I don't date people already coupled lol. BUT I would be his bestie and confidante, no problem.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? My first impression of Crowley would have been when I was about 11 or 12 and I thought he was the coolest lad there was. TV Crowley same, I loved him. Now I think he needs a hug but he's still cool as fuck.

Alec Hardy

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? I like Alec Hardy because he is so utterly done with the bullshit in his life but still fighting hard to keep it. I admire that.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Billie Eilish's "What Was I Made For?" probably because I made this video about him with it.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? Oh this is a hard one! Alec DeLeon from Exo-Squad was another very gentle, thoughtful, intelligent guy. I'd have to think about this one a lot more to come up with a longer list.

[tom1bombadil]

Dog Ba-Ight my god damn leg in Nam Dihn

12/5/24

Well, in the VNVC in Nam Dihn is the last place I expected to by sitting this afternoon. I was meant to be in Nim Binh! I’m finally registered into Vietnams medical system. I’m honestly thankful it hasn’t happened sooner!

I started riding from Cat Ba to Ninh Binh at around 11am this morning. Everything was going swell. I had survived merging on the 5 lane highways, nailed the free for all roundabouts, dodged the oncoming carts/ tractors and otherworldly traffic with style/ease and only had about an hour left to ride… through lush green fields and dusty back roads all the way to the promised lands. I even made friends with a pair of service station employees who offered me cups of tea and tobacco cones while a rested my weary back after filling up with gas. Linh and Tonh were absolute legends. When asked by Linh through google translate, “if I had brought any western treasures,” I produced a $2 coin from my top pocket and gifted it to him. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a man happier :)

Feeling chuffed and refreshed I continued FORWARDS for about 50km and 1 hour, the average speed of highway travel. I THOUGHT it would be a good idea to stop on the outskirts of Nam Dihn to grab a bottle of water and a snack. It was here, I was blindsided by a snarling, growling, chained up with good reason, mangey mutt of a canine. I was non bothered, chilling (well accustomed to dogs everywhere by now) paying for my goods and practicing my Vietnamise, “thank you, good bye” “cam on, bat tiem,” when the cheeky rascal used every last length of chain to jump, stretch its neck and clamp its what I presumed to be festered jaws into the back of my right quadriceps. The little bastard got me good too.

I’m not sure who yelped more, me of the dog. No sooner than it had let me go, it too received a blow from its owner. One sharp kick to the ribs, wrangled in and dragged to the back of the shop and locked away. I never saw the young lad you served me/ half saved me again. However, that damn dog’s snout was poking out from under the door of its make shift jail. I know it could smell the blood dripping from my leg to the concrete as I hastily cleaned and bound it. It liked the taste and wanted more.

I didn’t want to seek medical attention but I knew it was the right thing to do. After a visit to the nearest hospital in google maps I was directed by a kind doctor to a clinic that administers rabies vaccinations. Another 20 minute ride I was at the VNCN. It has its own theme song and motorbike valet. Quite catchy actually, and phenomenal service. I was not only the sole westerner in the clinic, but I was also by far the oldest one there to get a shot. It seemed to be a facility where children receive their measles, rubella, flu, hepatitis and all sorts of other injections. I got more funny looks than usual. I laughed because the circumstances were mildly hilarious and the tension was far too high. This seemed to put everyone at ease, and nearly 50 parents and encouraged infants laughed along too. I was only there for about an hour. I got 1 shot complete and have been told I must return in three days time for the second. Piece of cake.

What wasn’t quite so easy, was finding a place to stay the night. I pre-booked a hotel and couldn’t find it. I pre- booked another hotel and couldn’t find it. When google maps failed, I asked the locals for directions. I received apologetic slumps and shrugs after their initial enthusiasm to help. Seems like a lot of buildings around this city have disappeared.

Quizzical, but not yet defeated I continued further into the city with my iPhone on a dangerously low 5%, darkness looming and a light rain pitter pattering on my helmet. I ended up finding a place called the Ruby Rose. Thank fuck. My bike is parked inside. My wound is washed and wrapped. The bed feels comfy and best of all there is an ashtray inside my room. I presume you can smoke inside. If you know me well, you’d know how stoked I am about that. It’s up there with quite possibly the best $14, or 300000 dongles I’ve spent in Vietnam so far.

[goofgoofdildo]

honestly give me all of them for the music ask game

Ily <3

1:A song you like with a color in the title

I feel like I’m cheating but Welcome to the Black Parade

2:A song you like with a number in the title

11:11 by the dinosaur pileup

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

Probs Grass by animal collective

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

I don’t want to forget anyone, even if remembering hurts sometimes.

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

The Horror and the Wild by the amazing devil no question. I need it to reverberate in my skull

6:A song that makes you want to dance

Rasputin obv

7:A song to drive to

Hm really depends on the mood, Thnks fr th Mmrs by fob or Back of the car by Miike Snow

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

Little green bag? even though I think originally it was little green back, as in money

Oh or Hennessey by Tupac

9:A song that makes you happy

Ľudia nie sú zlí by I.M.T smile tbh or Dirty Imbecile by the happy fits

10:A song that makes you sad

Stumbleine by the smashing pumpkins and River Man by Nick Drake both put a hole in my chest

11:A song that you never get tired of

Love is a laserquest perhaps

12:A song from your preteen years

Cherish by kool and the gang

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

In the army now by status quo

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

Something that the guests would like lol. Otherwise maybe Without You sung by Harry Nilsson bc I adore him and his version of the song

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

Nothing compares to you covered by sinead o’ connor

16:One of your favorite classical songs

A Shropshire lad

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

I don’t know a lot of duets? I could sing Wild Blue Yonder by heart lol, maybe I’d do summer nights from grease at a karaoke?

18:A song from the year that you were born

Clint Eastwood by gorillaz!

19:A song that makes you think about life

10am, gare du nord by Keaton Henson? Idk, all ofthem

20:A song that has many meanings to you

I feel like there’s a correct answer here that I can’t think of so we’ll go with Disloyal order of water buffaloes

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Alexandra by Hamilton Leithouser!

22:A song that moves you forward

Suture Up Your Future by quotsa I guess

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

Take this waltz by Leonard Cohen

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

Hm I used to wish Panic never split up as a tween so let’s say Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

25:A song by an artist no longer living

Sinnerman by Nina Simone

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

I always knew by the vaccines

27:A song that breaks your heart

Slzy tvý mámy by Olympic, fucking takes me out every time

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Hm perhaps Pyramid by Jason Webley

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

Atlantída by Miro Žbirka my beloved

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

Calm like you by tlsp hah

[grr-bark-bark]

• A Pearl by Mitski

I laid on the floor about it before you ever did. It fits you better though and I can admit that so I'll let you have it

• Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde

Okay you added this as a joke. You only added it because I dissed your playlist back when it had two songs. You can take it off now. It's so mid idc if you kin it. He SiNgS lIkE tHiS

• Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey

We get it you're a lesbian /j. Since we're talking about flashbacks remember how our dad used to play this constantly because we hated it. You only like half of the bridge. Ditch it. Your sister died in winter

• Still Into You by Paramore

This does not fit. Why??? Genuinely. Hella good song though it passes the aro check. Stop singing it about Mei please we all have to watch that shit

• Take Me to Church by Hozier

I took it off of my playlist so I can't argue there. You can have it I guess but please be more normal about it. I respect that you can like it without religious trauma that's talent

• All I Wanted was You by Paramore

I really like this one actually I might steal it

• Law-Evading Rock by Neru

🤨🤨🤨 Is this just here because it's stimmy??? You don't even listen to rock, why are you listening to a rock song about listening to rock. I'm stealing it from you it's mine

• Let's Drop Dead by Neru

You only like the opening instrumental, come on man. Stealing this one too

• Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn

Jesus dude just go to therapy /t. It's not a good song. You can just bitch at your actual sister I promise. I'll hold her down and knock her teeth out for you /hj

• Monochrome Mentality by R.I.P.

I can't believe you made not one but two AMVs of yourself to this song. They kind of slapped btw. I think you're reaching a little but I also don't think anybody likes this song more than you so. Fuck it up white boy

• Zombies by Deco*27

I'm so happy you found a lovecore song about corpses, real exciting for you. I fucking hate this song. But the tuning is nice and it's catchy I guess

• Servant of Evil by Mothy

You are suchhhh a basic bitch. Keep calling your sister evil though. This song is mid as hell and the tuning makes me wish I didn't have ears

• First Love/Late Spring by Mitski

Girl for real go to therapy. No other comment it's a Mitski song

• Gomenne Gomenne by Kikuo

This was one of our first vocaloid songs which means I had dibs on it first asshole. Still a banger, still hate the whisper tuning (in a good way ig I'm supposed to hate it)

• The Raping House by Mushi

Fucking awful. The lyrics are one thing idc. But all the wet squishy noises? Hell on earth. And Teto? I hate you for making me listen to this

• We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross

Thank god for Mizuki. This song makes me physically ill but good for you ig

• Through Me to You by Ferry

Friend reccomendation yay. This one's nice I like it. Gender idk

• Self-Inflicted Achromatic by Nekobolo

Back to mental illness. This song's beautiful, I normally hate slower songs that are like. Idk light. But I've always really liked this one, thank you first vocaloid playlist for giving me depression songs

• AaaAaAaaaaAaaAa by Nashimoto

Quote "I'm not a fan of Nashimoto's tuning". Stfu. Respect your elders and their superior taste in music. You have not earned Nashimoto songs on your playlist

• This is My Heart by Vane Lily

You have a lot of horny songs on here for being sex repulsed. Stop kinning freaks. That is a dogboy dressed up as a demon seducing and murdering rapists. Please explain how that is "just like you fr"

• Francis Forever by Mitski

All I can think of is that stupid fucking Little Lad edit. And also the straight week you spent sobbing 24/7 just to not even actually have integrated. Major slay /s /t

• IDSMILE by Toa

I'm fronting now but I assume Glitch was gonna call me gay 🧍‍♂️ Also he hates Toa's tuning -💋

Okay I know your job is processing our incest shit but this was excessive buddy /hj /lh

Thank you -💋

I so desperately want to bully people's music tastes but that would be rude because I am a pretentious hipster bitch

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Music Shill of the Day: "JUDAS" by Lord of the Lost

PART 1 of 2: "DAMNATION"

Welcome to my Music Shill on the album "Judas" by Lord of the Lost. I think it's the first or second time I've shilled them, and it's honestly due to the fact that I've only found them quite recently. And they just so happened to be releasing a new album. Lucky me.

I will be going through each of the tracks with various ratings, gushing, and general nerdy bullshit on why I like them. Don't expect anything to be really technical, I'm just an average listener. And if you want the theological side of things, ask my friend @hoholupercal-adopts for that. Overall this album is fucking beautiful and is generally fantastic. There are some I like more than others, but please go out and give these songs a listen. And maybe buy the album as well if you vibe with it.

LINKS WILL BE PROVIDED TO THE SONGS MENTIONED. I will also be doing a 1-10 rating system, where this is the scale: 1 - garbage. Horrible. Wow this just sucks. 5 - average. It's decent. It's workable. Not horrible, not great either. 10 - fantastic. An absolute banger. Holy shit. This is so great.

Yes it is entirely subjective. And since this rambling has taken up so much space, I will be putting the actual songs and ratings under the cut, but have a link to the album via Youtube anyway.

ONWARDS, FRIENDS!

1. "Priest" - 10/10

Starting off EXTREMELY STRONG with the song that really got me hyped about the album, we have Priest.

What is there not to love on this album? The drums at the beginning, the ethereal and light singing, and how Chris' vocals pair with them right into those nice, deep "PRIEST." screams. The first verse builds on the opening with that nice riff in the background as intensity builds, and then...

That. Fucking. CHORUS. It sounds so fucking good. I can't accurately state how much I love it actually. Chris' vocals sound wonderful. I love how flowy it is and how much power is within the chorus, I love Pi's backing "We're all at- we're all at - we're all at fault", I love everything about it. I just can't understate it. The fucking sheer intensity this song brings all the way through, then the break for that moment of calm, and then going right into the last chorus...

Perfect. Wonderful. Beautiful. I listened to this song non-stop when it was originally released as a single. It inspired a small piece of writing from me too. It's so good. It's too fucking good. Fantastic opener for the album. What could possibly succeed this amazing fucking track?

2. "For They Know Not What They Do" - 8/10

Another great one. Not as great as Priest, but still a great song overall.

The opening is very interesting but kinda thematic for the album moving forward. It uses a chorus in the opening and closing of the track, which happens to be only 5 people layered over each other many times, and this chorus shows up in several tracks throughout the record. With only the exception of "Viva Vendetta", which had a full chorus of 386 people. That aside, it does sound quite nice. It is indeed a banger.

The lyrics are very repetitive, but it works very well for the song. They don't sound boring or tiring, but the song is more low-key than Priest. Though its chorus is much more reliant on Chris' screams than its predecessor, and the screams do sound great when contrasted by his cleans for the rest of the chorus. The piano melody in the back also sounds beautiful for the entire duration of the song.

A wonderful song, it still slaps immensely. So the album is going pretty strong, but already these two songs were released ahead of the album. What does the first 'new' song of the album have to offer?

3. "Your Star Has Led You Astray" - 8/10

It has a LOT to offer, actually.

It is more intense and a bit more powerful than For They Know Not What They Do, and I do like this song a bit more. I just don't want to do something like '8.3/10' cause if these songs were on a tierlist they'd be in the same tier.

The organ underlying everything is a very subtle touch, and it's a very welcome one. It lends to this feeling of this being a prayer or a confession within a church, perhaps of someone confiding in some sort of priest. Or someone being scorned by a priest or religious figure.

The choir in the background, which also comes out more prominently towards the end of the song, also lends more to this preacher/church vibe that the song has. The instrumentals outside of that act as almost a sort of contrast, at least with the guitar/bass lines. They feel very heavy, very intense, while the piano, vocals, choir, and organ have a more light and almost somber feel. It blends very well and makes for a wonderful song.

So far, so good. Now, what's next?

4. Born With a Broken Heart - 10/10

ABSOLUTE. BANGER.

And I almost thought this may be a Primal Fear cover when I first saw the track title a few weeks back.

While the two tracks proceeding it were more low-key, with some nice heavier feeling added in, this returns to a more heavy and weighty and intense sound. The verses sound groovy and almost bouncy, with the guitars taking a bit of a backseat when the vocals begin. I think it's a great contrast to the rest of the song itself, where they have that same sort of constant sound that they had in Priest.

The chorus is slower, but still carries all the power and weight of the verses right along with them. The vocals on this track are beautiful and wonderful and I adore the immensely. Once more the organ is a very subtle and great touch. Once more, the choir in the back sounds wonderful, and the singled out solo voice of Scarlet Dorn (I believe that's her) sounds as light and moving as it did in Priest.

Overall, amazing song. Absolutely slaps immensely. Love it.

Already a third of the way through disc 1. What can follow this pattern?

5. "The 13th" - 7/10

It is a good song. It is above average. It isn't entirely my style, but I can see others definitely vibing to it. It's very somber, it's very slow, but it still carries weight to it. Also the tie-in to Born With a Broken Heart is nice.

The organs here take a more prominent role in the song, which is nice. The synths in the back of the song are something that I find to be interesting, but not something that I really vibe with. They almost sort of clash with the overall feel of the song in my opinion.

The chorus is very nice, and feels on the same level of Born with a Broken Heart in terms of emotional intensity. This is most certainly a more somber piece for sure. It's much more sorrowful. The vocals are great, the overall instrumentals are fine, this is a good song. Just not one that I enjoy as much as other entries.

With all that being said, onward to the next song!

6. "In the Field of Blood" - 9/10

Alright. I can see people waving phones and lighters to this song already.

Another slower, somber sounding song. But this one is done better than The 13th in my humble opinion. There isn't the odd synth, the piano returns, there's some nice bits of stringwork done around the verses, and it feels more like a classic metal ballad. The piano in the chorus paired with the vocals sounds very, very nice. I love it.

It picks up a bit in terms of intensity for the bridge, when there is a small key change and the introduction of some screams. It transitions very smoothly into a nice chorus, and then there is a nice, pleasant sounding groove to lead the song out.

Heavy, slow, sad, but wonderful. Remorseful as well. Very well done.

7. "2000 Years a Pyre" - 8/10

A really, really good song. Another slower, heavier piece. But it sounds very nice.

The only thing I don't like is how this is the third track now with a chorus that sounds kinda samey. It's another with a beautiful piano accompaniment to the vocals, and sounds alltogether very sorrowful. Which is a good theme since this is the "damnation" of Judas thus far.

However, the song has a nice vibe and beat to it. The choir backing the chorus sounds great. The ending distortion and the ramping of how heavy it is for a bridge is very cool as well. Not quite an absolute 10/10 banger, but still a very good song.

8. "Death is Just a Kiss Away" - 10/10

I. AM. A. BITCH. FOR. GOOD. STRINGS.

AND THIS SONG DEFINITELY HAS THAT. AND! It has the leitmotif taking a much more central role. It's the tune of the verse, and it comes back several times across the record.

And man do I love how its played in the opening. I love the strings, the organ, the piano, how everything slowly keeps building and building over the course of the song. It doesn't just feel the same sort of somber and sad as some of the other tracks do. It builds and builds and builds, ending with Chris' vocals sounding more powerful and much more confident.

The lyrics sound almost like a conversation or some sort of Shakespearean lament. Okay, sure, the other songs do too, but I still love them nonetheless. I also like how the guitars and most of the heavier elements of LOTL as a band take a break for this piece.

I love this song. Love it to death. The choir at the end is a great touch as well. So good.

9. "The Heart is a Traitor" - 9/10

AH, YES. The 90s metalcore sounding song. Hell yeah.

This song kicks ass. A return to the intensity found to open the album, and a style that is reminscent of Born with a Broken Heart but with more of that heavy metal feeling for the chorus.

Here, the instrumentation of the song relies more on the classic bits of LOTL - guitars, some piano, the drums, and some bass. There is also some synth added in, but of course there is. I was almost nervous cause I didn't like the vibe or feel of the synths used in The 13th, but they work really well here. It follows the guitars really well, and it blends into the overall song wonderfully. Plus it helps out that 90s vibe.

The vocals are wonderful as well, with nice screams mixed among the powerful, gravelly sounding choruses and cleaner verses. Overall, wonderful song.

Almost done. ONWARDS!

10. "Euphoria" - 8/10

It sounds very nice. It is slow, deliberate, it has good pacing. The piano sounds very light, and I get visions of something like A Christmas Carol from the song. It has the late December or just a cold winter's night vibes.

Once more, the heavier elements are absent for a good deal of the song, but they do eventually kick in. The build up is great, it is well done, but not as well as Death is Just a Kiss Away to me. Still, the song is very good. Powerful and soft vocals with a nice slow rhythm on drums and a pleasant piano in the back works wonderfully.

A great song, to be sure.

11. "Be Still and Know" - 9/10

The first instrumental track on the record, and it's got the entire band on display here.

The intro is intense, and it brings back the leitmotif as well. The guitar solo is grand, especially how it ties into the leitmotif towards its end.

The song itself serves as a good almost-midway point for the album. A chance to breathe and feel, a chance to listen and enjoy. Of course, you can get that with the other 10 songs too, but there's just something about an instrumental track acting as a great checkpoint that's very refreshing. Even with one that carries such a heavy and powerful rhythm to it.

A wonderful, beautiful piece. Very, very well done. Very enjoyable.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

12. "The Death of All Colours" - 10/10

An acapella piece to see the end of disc 1, and once more the leitmotif is on display through the vocals themselves.

Well, of course they are, there's only the vocals to be heard. But you know what I mean -- last track had them in the instrumentals, this one has them in the vocals.

I love the lyrics here. I find myself singing this song often. It's simply too good not to. This song was already released a few weeks ahead of the album itself, but I hadn't heard it until I heard Priest.

It has power that slowly dwindles as the song ends, and carries with it these sadder and more somber themes. It's a wonderful piece in and of itself. In fact I didn't even realize it was acapella until I saw the "Track by Track" video for it on LOTL's YT channel. It feels whole and complete. A great song. Absolutely fantastic. Great way to end the first half of the dual-album.

Final thoughts will be shared in a separate post, but overall, already there are plenty of really, really solid songs here. I love all of them. Not one do I think is particularly bad or even really just 'meh' thus far. Will this change in disc 2?

FIND OUT IN... About an hour and a half? Maybe? Or maybe just wait for the reblog that'll come at a more reasonable hour.

[vettelcore]

feel like pure shit just wanna be 15 and be obsessed with exo and bts again

[fbfh]

spider man!leo x reader hcs

wc: 1.1k

genre: fluff, crack, angst if you squint

au: super hero au, spider man!leo, mcu crossover

pairing: spider man!leo x gn reader

warnings: brief mention of tragic backstories, general spider man fare, spider man kiss, I can't decide if spiderman is one word or two, not proof read

song rec: I think I used this in another spider man realted post but spider man too: 2 many spider men - the unbreakable kimmy schmidt soundtrack, hero - monsta x, this might be obvious but when can I see you again - owl city, and metropolis - owl city

a/n: this is mostly an outlet for the 24/7 looping footage of Leo flying around as spider man I love him fuck me with a chainsaw

tags: @avashaye @perseajohnson @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @yelenabel0vaswife @almostjollypizza @Fictionalcomforts  @lizziebitch33  @jacksondeeznuts @justbookworm @urmum-xoxo @Asunnyhunny @shellosisbae @anything-forourmoony  @i-dont-remember-a-lot  @chasingpj @1dpjohoohp @mystic-writings   @babiesimagines @dreamerball  @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @dustyinkpages @yesv01

After a devastating tragedy left him with no parents and his world completely upside down, Leo Valdez, a dorky teenager from Houston somehow finds himself living in queens new york with his aunt

As if this wasn’t enough changes to handle all at once, it’s also easily a week after he got bit by that stupid spider before he actually notices he has…

Superpowers, he guesses

He really has no idea what else you’d call it

He thinks it’s really fucking annoying at first

Most notably it made all his sensory issues way worse

For a while he views it as another annoying inconvenience he has to deal with 

It’s when something happens

When there’s a minor robbery like 2 blocks away from his apartment that he realizes oh shit

Wait

I could do something about that

He can prevent bad shit from happening 

He can stop people from hurting 

Which is all he's ever wanted

With several all nighters and a lot of hyperfocus he comes up with a costume, weapons, even a name

His grades in chemistry class suddenly shoot up

Pun intended

So he can figure out how to make webs

Once it clicks he's like how has no one else figured this out yet

It's so obvious

He gets his homework done so fucking fast

Cause he also has to learn to sew for his diy costume

Settling on a design was hard

He learns he is definitely not a fashion designer

Eventually he decides to pay homage to his favorite vine 

Once this boy hits the streets???

It's on

He's so good at adventuring and super heroing and saving people 

It's easily one of his two favorite things

The other one being coming up with new weapon ideas 

It takes so much self control not to use webs as a stim toy 

He is the CE FUCKING O of battle banter 

You thought the other spidermen were quippy??? 

Leo is 100000 times worse 

He basically can't shut up during a fight which has made for some hilarious news footage 

There are compilations on YouTube of spiderman roasting criminals for 3 minutes straight, spiderman being an icon for 7 minutes straight

And his personal favorite

Spiderman being the face of gen z for 11 minutes straight

Whenever people at school notice he's way more distracted than usual

Which has been a lot more lately

He's like yeah just adhd things lol

Instead of having to tell them that he’s a semi nocturnal crime fighting arachnid lad

When he’s finally contacted by Tony Stark?????? He loses his fucking SHIT

He has encyclopedic knowledge of Stark industries 

So when Tony motherfucking Stark takes one look at his web shooters and starts praising him

Tells him he has real potential, he’s onto something kid

Then tells him he wants him to start training to help the avengers and possibly eventually become part of the team???????

God he loses his fucking SHIT

His aunt is so fucking proud of him for getting an internship with tony stark

Every time he either comes up with something or works with Tony on something Tony’s like wow

Maybe I should start an actual internship for gifted stem kids

Cause this boy gets so much serotonin from being a friendly neighborhood spiderman

Whoever you are to him

His best friend, Tony’s kid that he definitely has a crush on, the cutie from his compsci class, the hot barista he always hopes he’ll run into

Even just a civilian who’s paths happened to cross

Jesus he’s down bad for you so fast

If you know him out of costume he probably gets really nervous to talk to you 

In spite of how much he wants to

If you don’t really know him outside of the whole super hero thing

Oh my god

He will show boat and pull so many stunts as spidey 

Cause god damn he wants to impress you

If you don’t already know his secret

Motherfucker the temptation to tell you is so fucking strong

Regardless of how or when you find out

You end up being his most trusted ally 

He’s rescued you more times than either of you can count

The feeling of him pulling you close to his chest just in time to keep you out of harm’s way

Especially by yoinking you closer with his webs?????

Adorable!!! Heart fluttering!!!!

And god after a battle or fight when you’re all (probably) back at stark tower

And he just pulls off the mask

And his hair is all mess????????

His cheeks are all flushed???????

So fucking cute

God he’s so fucking attractive

It’s not fair

And fuck me he’ll spider man kiss you every chance he gets

You’re walking home one night and you pull out your phone to check the time

You get a glimpse of the one and only spider man lowering himself upside down behind you

You put away your phone

“You know, you should really be more careful walking home. All the creeps come out at night.”

You turn to him, gazing at his red and blue attire, the eyes of his mask moving as he talks

You suppress a grin

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want some weirdo in brightly colored spandex to follow me home, and sneak up behind me, and start talking to me out of nowhere.” 

“Yeah, that guy sounds like a real freak.” 

“Oh, definitely.” You muse

“You know, I don’t think a thank you from saving me from hooligans when I’m out in the middle of the night, spider man, would be out of place…”

You chuckle, stepping closer

You pull his mask up, pressing a warm kiss to his lips

He caresses your jawline, and you feel the sleek, textured fabric of his suit against your skin

After you eventually pull away, it’s silent for a moment

You’re taking each other in, being in this moment together, the noises of the city providing a familiar background track

He’s smiling, and you can see it, his mask still pulled up

“... that works too.” 

You both descend into giggles

He makes sure you get home safe

He usually does

You wave to him outside your bedroom window one more time

He reciprocates the gesture, then shoots a web onto a nearby building, zipping off into the night

You let out a sigh, watching him quickly melt into the darkness outside 

He may be your friendly neighborhood spider man

But you and him both know he’s really your friendly neighborhood spiderman