#2024 IS LITERALLY MY YEAR OMFG

[ihugmomo]

LITERALLY SO HAPPI RN LOOK AT THEM DUDEE 🥺🥺😭 MY FIC WORKED-

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep7 Musings - General (Spoilers)

Y'all, it took me like 4 hours to watch this episode; I kept pausing and screaming into my soft beige throw pillow.

Even though I knew what was coming, the execution (pun not intended) was just so heartbreaking, my chest is actually heavy as I type this. Thank goodness for the random humor & comedic relief, cuz I don't know how much of this I could've handled, seeing the Trial done so beautifully done in 4k. Incredible work.

GRRRRRRRRRRREUSOMELY~! Santiago istfg he is a camp QUEEN, rolling his Rs like that 🤣

Only 10 minutes in and Santiago's fighting for his life to not wring Lestat's SCRAWNY neck if he don't stop going off script! 😅

I hate y'all, Rolin. 😂

Are we serious right now with the literal bleeding heart routine, imma be SICK

Nicki's "fragile mind prone to corruption" I can't; who wrote this script, FLORENCE?

Oooooo they finna implicate Armand!? Cuz WE BEEN KNEW Armand was lying in his Ep3 flashbacks!

Sam got the scythe, this is not a drill! I NEED to see Louis chopping off heads in the finale!

Ben Daniels is so great at this.

these ugly AF projections are SENDING ME! Tuan Pham can't draw for ish! 😅

Not Antoinette with the Ophelia flowers, stop! XD

Tuan is a whole troll.

The crowd chanting "YES! leave Louis for Antoinette" had me like omfg Lestat's messy arse is Wendy Williams! 😭

I said STOP WITH THE ANTOPHELIA FLOWERS, TUAN, LOL

Not the raccoon on the projector, stop; lemme pretend she made it out the house alive! 😭 Lestat, you MURDERER!

"The internecine politics of his food... A trenchant form of verbal amusement--" The only one "deceptively agile with words" is whoever wrote this script! 🤩👏

I knew that was coming--I could tell by the way the soldier reacted when Nickistat was being discussed that something was gonna happen; these vamps are waaaaay too gay! 😅🏳️‍🌈

OOOOOOOP! 💀 I'd've been out of my seat screaming up a storm, ain't no way mere stage props & pulleys can get him up there that quick, nuh-uh!

Lestat's EYES, god 👺👹👹☠💀💀👻😈

THAT'S RIGHT READ HIM EXPOSE HIM

Sam left NO CRUMBS!!! I cannot believe what I'm watching in the year of our lord 2024 during Pride Month but I am SEATED 🌈🌈

Naw chile, pause the show, I need a commercial break, we're only 16 minutes in! 🤣😅👏

AMC you EFFED OVER this whole show not giving them time to qualify for an Emmy this year, EYE am disgusted! 😡🤬

Baftas, Golden Globes, Saturn, GLAAD, idfk, where y'all at!? This whole season was EXCELLENT!!!

[young-royals-confessions]

Hello hello, it's anon from the flight! And how lovely it's this fandom that I got a moniker from an anon confession? I've read the messages and checked the reblogs and wow! I seriously didn't expect for my unhinged message to be this welcomed since I'm three years too late to this beautiful show! With this beautiful people and thank you so much to everyone who recommended me to listen to the Simon-not-actually-made-by-AI actor. AND SINGER! BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED. I'm still in disbelief he's real, like Omar Rudberg is so pretty AND has such a nice voice??? AND HE'S GORGEOUS and he's a great actor and UGH THE CHEMISTRY. With who I now know iis called Edvin and now I feel the need to see them acting next to eachother forever and ever, so much chemistry can't be wasted!! (looking at Netflix. I'm still so crossed I missed out of this beauty for three years wtf Netflix)

SO I binge watched the second season, patience isn't my name, and WHAT THE FUCK. Was not prepared for that rollercoaster. I gotta be honest, I almost stopped watching and went to sleep halfway through the season like ugh I fucking hate that Marcus dude, sure in the end I understand why he was a necessary evil for the plot but I fucking hate love triangles. I was a teenage girl during the height of love triangles in tv shows, I hate them. But I hate August the most. I think of his face and feel enraged.

BUUUUUUUUUUT UGHHHH. THE LOVE BETWEEN SIMON AND WILLE. That overpowered everything. Seriously, how am I supposed to be functional after being a witness to their valentine's ball kiss? And Simon's song? (Which I have been obbsessively listening on repeat WTF I understand nothing but I can feel FEEL the meaning on my bones. This beautiful dude's voice wtf. I can understand Wille's obsession, I'm practically obsessed too now wtf)

AND THE END OHMYGOD. A BALM FOR MY SOUL. I was kind of hoping to get heartbroken AGAin for shit and giggles but noooo, I got the best ending and I'm trying to not be too spoiler-ey since I'm sure I'm not the only human being living in this planet called Earth who's unaware the most perfect TV show exists and it's called Young Royals and beautiful people are in it to everyone taste no matter your sexual orientation (like hello Felice too!)(still shocked Omar Rudberg is a real person and not generated by artificial intelligence, maybe I'll be convinced after some proper sleep time, but for now he's too beautiful to be real. Not even exaggerating and I'm really good at that okay!)

I'm still processing the second season, I took a nap after I finished but I'm still tired since I cried and laughed and was left with the biggest smile in my face (and I also was in an 8 hour flight!) and then went to youtube and saw a clip from season 3 AND OMFG THESE TWO DUDES ARE TOO PRETTY FOR WORDS. Happiness and love look wonderful in Wille, like the literal heart eyes he's delivering there? That's how I feel when I see Simon too. Relatable character is relatable. What can I say about Simon without sounding crazy except I need to protect him at all costs??

I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU for reading me and thank you to everyone who has been nice to me in the comments even when I'm still anon, it means the world to me. I hope I'll be more coherent after eight hours of sleep and I won't be too embarrassed reading my own message tomorrow lmao and I don't know how I'm going to survive until 2024 for season 3, I'm sitting here taking notes for that too! I already know the answer it's fanfics so I'll be checking AO3 but also analysis? Meta? how are you guys for real? I was expecting a teenage fandom with just vibes but I guess I was wrong. And I love it. As much as I love the show and Simon and Wille's relationship and I gotta be honest, Omar Rudberg's face and voice. UGH.

Thank you so much for reading me again and for everyone who has left messages for me, I'll freak out more once I get some proper sleep!

Thank you and I'm sorry again XOXO

YAY thanks for coming back!! 💜💜💜

[sister-2-sleep]

Rating all the artists I’ve seen in concert

(It's long srry)

Innings festival 2023

The offspring : 8/10 First concert and also my first festival. I didn't really know many songs at the time but they put on a good show.

Weezer: 9/10 2nd artist at the same festival as offspring. Great show. Got weezered live. I wanna see them again someday

Green Day: 9/10 the main reason we went to the festival. They were amazing but Billie was sick so he didn't really sound as good as he could've. So happy that i got see them tho

This is why tour (7/20, 2023)

The Linda Lindas: 9/10 really good & high energy. I don't really remember anymore than that tbh

Paramore: 100/10 literally so perfect. Cried multiple times. The reason I even got to see them was because the concert we were going to got canceled and the nosebleed seats weren't super expensive

Jaws of life tour (11/7, 2023)

Destroy boys: 10/10 opened for ptv. Great energy. But it seemed like no one else in the crowd liked them

L.S. Dunes: 8/10 I love dunes <3 I wasn't super into them at the time but I got to see frank iero in person for it was amazing

Pierce the Veil: (the first time) 1000000/10 actually so amazing omfg. I was literally sobbing durring hold on till may and emergency contact

Saviors tour (9/14, 2024)

The Linda Lindas: 9/10 still really good. So glad I got to see them again (and across the street from where I saw them the first time lol)

Rancid: 9/10 really good but I don't really listen to them

The smashing pumpkins: 10/10 they were amazing & I learned I knew a lot more songs by them than I thought lol

Green day: 80/10 so glad I got to see one of the first bands I ever fell in love with. & having them play my 2 favorite albums by them was magical

WWWY 2024

Ls dunes : 10/10 only saw like half if their set but they were just as good at the first time I saw them

Mayday Parade : 10/10 I didn't really listen to them besides Jaimie all over before but they're one of my favorite bands now

Cobra starship : 10000/10 ahhhh so happy I got to see them. So much energy and sounded great

Simple plan : 8/10 I dont really listen to them but hearing the Scooby Doo theme was fun

Taking back Sunday : -80000/10 they fucking sucked. I'm lowkey worried for the singers health because I'm like 99% sure he was either super drunk or high. Was super disappointing cuz I was exited to see them

The used : 7/10 Bert sounded like shit but I expected it cuz I watched a few videos before. They were still pretty good

Pierce the veil: ajhhhhhhhhhh/10 omg I'm so happy I got to see them a second time. I'm so happy I got to hear 100 sleepless nights live

Jimmy eat world : 9/10 again dont really listen to may of their songs but they sounded pretty close to the recorded version imo

A day to remember : 9/10 soooo good. Only knew a few songs but they were so good & I need to listen to more of them

Fall out boy : 1000000/10 ahhhhhh the the second main reason I wanted to go. I'm so glad I finally got to heal my inner elementary school (and now) self by seeing them. Also them bringing out travie & doing cupids chokehold killed me

MCR: ∞/10 I think seeing them actually fixed everything wrong ever. I'm so greatfull that I got to see my favorite band of 3 years. I was actually sobbing by the end of the show & didn't stop until we pretty much had left the venue. It was such a magical experience and I don't think anything will ever compare to it

[hawkland]

SciFi Valley Con, what a weekend!

I need to share this somewhere because it was all so amazing, I'm still a bit dazed .

First, behold this set up, because holy shit was it a lot of work!

So, on to the details. Back in Charlotte, I'd promised both DJ and Ruth tote bags with my Garth & Rowena art, respectively (they'd seen other people carrying them around but I'd sold out before they stopped by looking for one.) Didn't know if they'd actually remember BUT Friday at SFVC was fairly slow so I went to get my autographs and hunt them down. First I went up to DJ who, as soon as he saw the tote bag, came rushing out from behind his table to give me a big hug. "I don't care if it's egotistical I'm carrying this around all weekend!" All Friday he had it out on his table, too, so that it ended up in one of the con's promo videos on Instagram.

Next up was Rick...who was just a doll, taking his time with each and every person! I was just going to get an autograph for myself but as soon as I showed him the painting he was just literally speechless for a while, came around to give me a hug, asked his handler to take that picture he posted on Instagram, I gave him a print and we chatted a bit but I felt bad taking up too much time. (I did go back on Sunday to get an autograph for Mr. Hawkland's office and totally cracked him up with my/our usual request for something mentioning feet, since the hubster is a podiatrist.)

Then I saw Ruth briefly had no line so I dashed over and handed her her bag and she was immediately all "Oh! Oh! Emily, come over here!" (Emily Swallow was signing the next station over.) "This is the artist who has that lovely painting of the two of us I was showing you!"

I'm now like....wait a minute...they're showing each other MY ART?!?!?! I knew Ruth liked the piece — it was the one I did for the femmeslash bang claimed by @father-salmon — Emily immediately slips out from her table where she had a long line and was like, "Hi I'm Emily" to shake my hand and I'm like OMFG I KNOW YOU ARE and they were just both being so sweet I could've cried. Ruth was asking if it would be ok if they made copies of that piece available for signing (like, absolutely?!?! I'M the one skirting the edge selling these prints...) Anyway, Ruth let me pick out a picture to get signed for free, I ran back to my table to get the new Amara piece I'd done signed by Emily and to print her prints of each. And she wouldn't even let me pay for getting it autographed either, just was being so kind, I mentioned how Season 11 is my favorite and how much I've come to enjoy Amara every time I rewatch and then she wouldn't let me leave without a hug. *sob* Saturday morning she even stopped by the table to look at more of my stuff up close and tell me how Ruth was carrying her bag around everywhere.

Oh and Sunday morning before we opened for the day, I'd just set up and stepped out to get something to drink, come back in and Mark Sheppard is at my table by my Crowley prints and postcards talking with his handler. He was like "Yeah I've signed a lot of these" and was surprised the big banner print hadn't sold yet (so was I). He actually remembered signing the original paintings back in Pittsburg 2-3 years ago, I do not know how he remembers these things.

Anyway. Sales were kind of meh since the crowd was only very partially an SPN crowd BUT I cannot remember having such wonderful interactions with guests/actors ever like this. It's a little freaky because it hit that the Creation con regulars (DJ, Ruth, Mark) definitely know & remember me. And I guess that's a good thing? I suppose we'll see how it all unfolds next year as this was my last con for 2024 (next year I'm planning on doing SPN Boston, New Jersey, Novi, Philly and maybe Chicago too.)

[icyfox17]

Halfway through the year...

Let's check on my spotify montly playlists :D

My Top Three Songs were...

My Top Three Songs Were...

Same first two lmao (also this is based off vibes bc i cannot find the screenshots of my receiptify for this month)

Top Three Songs Were... (YOO i found my receiptify for this month so this one is like. most listened to hehe)

My Top Three Songs Were... (based off vibes again, but also considering how Creature had only been out for a week and literally was on my top 10 songs of ALL TIME erm. yeah. its def number one lol)

My Top Three Songs Were (based off vibes)

ONLY TEN AUDIOS ALLOWED PER POST WTF????? well then

Better Now by Bombay Bicycle Club (ft Rae Morris)

Runaway by Half Alive

Allez Les Blues by Los Campesinos!

And Finally... as of June 18, 2024 my Top Three Songs Are (based off vibes bc erm. most listened to includes music i looped to sleep tho surprisingly age of consent STILL beat those ones out omfg)

Age of Consent by New Order

Inertia Acoustic by AJR

Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac

[b0nelessdoodles]

Art Summary 2023

shoutout to the one month were i drew fanart and then everything else was just dnd content again lmao (also shoutout to me being late to posting this haaaaa)

2023 wasn't the best year for me personally. between money problems and job searching, health issues, mental health issues, unintentional discomfort at my new job, and the overall issues of the world it just hasn't been great and I felt it heavily in my creativity. I never really had any creative highs this year outside of artfight (and even then i felt like i didn't do well) which only fed into some of the issues I was having.

But looking back I am really happy with most of what I made! Sure I didn't draw much but hey I think I popped off when I did!

So here is to 2024! Already off to a good start in the art department and even if I slow down at least I've had fun so far!

(i was gonna put me gushing about things in tags but its a lot so i'm doing a read more this post is already so damn long lmao i'm sorry)

okay i'm here to gush about two pieces at a time and their contents cause then make me happy to look at so lets get started on that with march and september 'cause hey! look at the relationship development of my little goblin guy!

march was when kk (tic's best friend and now boyfriend) first appeared to the rest of the party outside of just tic talking about him. literally the entire party could see that kk was in love with tic and was just like "oh buddy sorry about that" 'cause tic was a dumbass and romance was just never something he thought about until meeting the party. then we flash forward to september where the two confessed to each other after what really felt like the end of tic's story arc. at least it felt that way to me 'cause he reached his goal of killing groll and becoming the king of goblins but i know he still has shit to do I'M LOOKING AT YOU TRAVELLER AND RIP! but yeah that was the whole reason he left and it was done. he did it! but it almost cost him kk and the two ended up having a really important talk about it. kk chewed tic out and spilled his guts and i still think about it a lot holy shit it was so good omfg but it was in that moment that it clicked for tic. that if he had actually lost kk he had no idea what he would do, that he felt like his whole life would fall apart without him. and just man it was good wholesome content. congrats to the goblins for being the first canon relationship! (even tho they were not the first confession that one goes to rhami!)

now that that block of the text is out of the way we get to more depressing ones, those being january and october with my guy, dr. cecil wilfree.

its just.... man. what do i even say about him. january was probably the last moment before his life went into a full downward spiral, eventually leading into his demise. that piece isn't even anything major but rather something like a reminder going "hey, remember when wilfree had two normal eyes? good times!" and just man (-insert that image of a horse standing on the beach-) compare that to where he's at in october and knowing what happened in those 10 months? january he still had trust and hope, he believed that he was going to get back home and help river out with his plague, maybe even get aster home if she'd let them, maybe find a way to cure himself and help casey. but by the end there was no hope and he found out that he had been used, was nothing more than a tool for someone who he trusted, despite knowing that he really shouldn't have. river was dead and it was his fault (at least in his mind it was), he had failed to protect aster and traumatized both her and willow, and he could do nothing to save an entire population from being wiped off the face of the map. and he caved under the guilt. he gave up. its sad to see him alive and pissy in january and then look at december and see a shell of the same man, no more thoughts in that head as his mind got disconnected from his body and self.

and then for extra sads we've got december which was his birth month, so i drew something from a time before the campaign. back when he was alive and well, no soul curse and unknowing of the horrors yet to come, and receiving a gift from someone whose life he could soon destroy due to his own hubris.

anyway! pay no mind to may! i didn't draw a damn thing that whole month!

[manicpixiereader]

BOOK RECAP

He's Not My Type by Meghan Quinn

January 23, 2024-

Synopsis:

Word to the wise, never become roommates with a girl you’ve been pining over for the better part of a year.

You’re probably wondering why I would do such a thing? Well, I didn’t.

It was my teammates.

The moment they found out Blakely White was single, they took it upon themselves to play cupid and instruct me on how I should win her over.

Don't wear a shirt around her. Make her dinner. Lightly touch her shoulder when you say goodbye.

I'm so flustered, so overwhelmed, so madly in love with this woman who barely notices me, that I lose control of the situation and make one huge mistake: I offer to be her fake date for a wedding so she can make her ex jealous.

That means, for one whole night I get a free pass with her. I get to hold her, dance with her, kiss her…stare at her from across the room like she’s my entire world because she has been for months now.

But when the night comes to an end, I’m faced with two options: bring her back to my bedroom and show her how I really feel, or let her walk away, succumbing to the fact that I very well might not be her type.

My Thoughts:

Oh my goodness OBSESSED. Total rom-com and I think one of my faves by Meghan Quinn with this book 4 of the Vancouver Agitators series. They can all be read as stand alones but they're part of a bigger universe.

The story follows Blakely who works as VIP Guest coordinator (unofficial title) for the Agitators where she meets Halsey Holmes. From their first interaction he is enamored by her and he's about to ask her out when she reveals she has a boyfriend so for the next year he secretly (not so secretly since the rest of the boys know) pines for her. When his teammate Posey finds out she is single they hatch a plan to get him and Blakely together and thus chaos ensues. She ends up staying at Halsey's place since she has some issues with her apartment and they begin to get close. Things don't start too well and Halsey struggles with opening up since he is still processing his grief over his twin brother dying a couple years back, but with time they both see different sides to each other. When he ends up offering to take her to a wedding to avoid awkwardness, their dynamic completely changes.

Meghan has such a good way to interconnect her books' universes and their storylines. What I really enjoy is her ability to balance light hearted and romantic stories with some of life's hardest experiences. She's also so good at bringing in beloved characters from the earlier books in the series without having them overtake the story. Overall I think my favorite thing about this book was the slow and genuine development of this love story. Obviously the humor is great too and there's an incredibly touching scene toward the end of the book between the boys' with such a lovely display of the emotional dynamic they have. I literally almost bawled my eyes out reading it because there was something so special about it.

The spice was 10/10 sooooo good! Meghan's books have a really good balance of smut and plot, where both are just as good as the other. The way that he has pined so long for her and once they finally get together and he expresses how truly feral he is for her omfg DREAM. MAN.

Overall I think we truly get a solid development of their journey together and I would say more so of Halsey's journey through grief. My one critique would be that I think he confronts that grief a little too late into the book (literally the last 2 chapters) and I think it would be nice to have seen a little more of that, it felt like it wrapped up very quickly that it felt a little unrealistic. Loved the introduction of OC into the group and the "Frozen Fellas" was so cute.

Would definitely recommend this book!✨

[myrwrbblog]

Henry's POV chapter liveblog

Love that Henry supposedly can't cook lol

5 years living in the Brownstone ahhhhhh

"love of my life" 🥹🥹🥹 DON'T TOUCH ME

One week till moving day and two until the wedding???? So I'm guessing the wedding is in London and they are moving there too??

David my beloved😭

Okay May 2021 now

Oh wow so they lived close before moving in together??? Interesting

"in your mouth" afsjsgsjdhdafaj

Summer 2022!!! This year ahhhhhhh

They live together now after Alex's first year at NYU😭

Afajaafajsfsh Henry loves Alex's ass lmao

Christmas 2022!!!!!!

Aleeeeeex remember to eaaaaaaaat

Awww Henry loves cooking!!!

Hahahaha body double omg

Asjsgsjdgdg Catherine brought that shirt?m

Awww Angus!!!

Omg Alex afsjsgsjsgshsh

That's very Alex to not like Angus for those reasons lmao

June and Nora??? Omg???🥹

ALEX HAHAHAHHAHAHA

This was him during this

Summer 2023!!!!!

"turn the bloody light off and come to bed" they stupid love each other and I stupid love them too😭😭😭

Hahahaahha Henry you are adorable

Alex is 25 already ahhhhhhhhh

THEY ARE IN LOVE YOUR HONOUW

Spring 2024!!!!!!!

Shaan and Zahra have a baby🥹 omg

Alex has a law job!!!!

Arthur took Henry to the set of the movie he was working on😭😭😭

Guilford?? What in british hell??

Arthur was from Sheffield?? Omg??

AFAAJGSSHGSHAGACSFS OMFG

"When Henry and I get married" can you hear me screaming???? And crying???

"Alex's child of divorce anxiety" noooo😭😭

He bought an engagement ring already🥹

Afsjsgshdgd he knows Alex has one too???

I just..... It's too much

THEY'RE ENGAGED!!!!!!

Afajsgsjsgsg three hours lmao

Nearly five years together wow

New Years eve 2024!!!!!!!

5 years since they kissed🥹🥹

Wait

Wait

HENRY ABDICATED????????

Omg

OMFG????????????????????????

Hehehehehe they stay in

Bea's wedding!!! Ahhhhhhh

Rafael Luna has a partner!!! Yay!!!!!!

Drag bingo???? I wanna go there omg

HAHAHAHAH "almost thirty" Alex u savage

He wrote a book??? Fuck yeah!!!!

That's..... So many things omg afajsgshdgd

September 2025!!!!!

Wow 5 years since the leaked emails

Yep, makes sense Henry has PTSD

End of 2025 now!!!!!

Glad he goes to therapy too

"looking for Orion" 🥹🥹🥹🥹 ahhhh?

Alex hates his job😔

February 2026!!!!!!

Ohh Alex quit last month!!!!

Awww they slept in Alex's twin bed in Texas when Ellen won😭😭😭😭

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Omg that was lovely!!! Explaining how every versions of themselves fell in love with the other!!!!!

Wait wait, so they don't move to London?? Maybe the Lake House?? Or Paris?? Idk😭

Afsjsgdhdgdh Alex you little shit

Ohh June is gonna sublet!!!

Okay yeah that makes sense hahahha (at the beginning if the chapter the girls said they were doing some thing sin Austin to prepare?? Gonna have to read this chapter again hehe😌)

YES!!! BESIDE A LAKE AHHHHHH

Alex turning into a dad??👀 Smt u wanna say Henry???

Private ceremony at the lake house🥹🥹

A stetson omg that's adorable😭

Amy has a daughter awwwww

"You and me"

I mean....... Just.... Ahhhhh?????? Afajsgsjdghd I am literally speechless😭😭😭 as soon as I finished rereading the entire book I HAD to read Henry's POV immediately and omg I am so emotional🥹🥹🥹

My favourite goddamn book so far

That's it, nothing else to say, I loved it💜

[gohyuck]

prompt 4, lee jeno, streetracer au

prompt: “Everyone told me I’m crazy picking up a boy that drives a Camry.”

extra: streetracer au

note: suggestive (mild mentions of sex), jeno + cars which might be emotionally overwhelming for y’all because PHEW is it overwhelming for me omfg, this one’s a little long for a drabble but overall it isn’t super long (it’s like... 1.4k?)... i lowkey wanna write a racer jeno fic but idk lmk if that’s something the people want lmfao

july 5th, 2020.

it’s the first race of his you’ve ever seen.

you’ve memorized the course, a consequence of hours spent staring at the map until it’s been imprinted beneath your eyelids. the route ends where it starts, and the rest of the roads will be closed off - you’re sure renjun, one of the officiants, has bribed the city’s construction sector to ensure this - so no bystanders are hurt, but you don’t particularly care about unlucky pedestrians or drivers that could be potential collateral damage. still, it’s on the outskirts of the city, so there wasn’t as much risk as there could’ve been to start with.

it sounds bad when you think of it, but you can’t bring yourself to be repentant of what you worry about and what you don’t. after all, your focus is exactly where it should be:

jeno lee.

your boyfriend hasn’t been shy in letting you know about his pastimes: he’d told you about his penchant for speeding through the city in his toyota camry after the fifth date, had murmured it into the skin of your bare shoulder as his fingers skimmed your bare waist. it was the first night you’d stayed over, waking up to the sunrise, coffee, and round two. his apartment was - is - tiny compared to yours, a studio apartment just big enough to live in versus your penthouse suite uptown. still, from that night on, his place feels more like home than yours ever will.

you hadn’t really talked about how worried you are for him then, instead allowing him to give and take to and from you as he pleased. you still haven’t talked about how worried you are for him, although instead of being in his bed at 2 am you’re on the sidelines of one of his street races, 2 way radio in one hand and phone open to a police scanner app in the other.

it’s insane, you think to yourself, that you’re an active participant in a highly illegal race. if any of your friends - who all believe jeno to be a terrible influence, in his tattooed glory and always shrouded in cigarette smoke - could see you now, they might have simultaneous aneurysms. they’re all far too enveloped in the socialite life you’re trying desperately to shed.

none of that matters to you now, though - what matters is the cars you can see emerging from a turn far, far off in the distance. there’s only two - a bright red civic and a sleek black camry, the latter carrying your boyfriend and his best friend jaemin - and they’re neck and neck, tire to tire. it’s a short race, a quick couple of loops around the track that’s been laid out for the night. there’s prize money, yes, but it’s only a couple hundred bucks - if jeno wins, he’ll put his half towards paying his rent.

you watch with bated breath as the cars get closer and closer, your eyes trained on their front bumpers. renjun makes his way to the center of the starting line, his faith in the two drivers astounding you as he waits patiently for them to near him. mark jogs across to set up a slow motion camera on the other side, and, on your right, jisung sets one up as well. renjun stands still, gaze piercing the night as he stares straight ahead. before anyone can process the end of the race, both cars race past. your hair flies up from the wind generated by the cars’ speeds, and you hear the distinct sounds of two sets of brakes squealing as both cars finally, finally come to a rest.

you hold your breath as mark and jisung analyze their films. donghyuck pushes open the drivers’ door of the civic, with chenle walking out of the passengers’ side. jaemin leaves the camry first, and jeno follows, running his hands through his hair as he gets out. you’re too focused on mark and jisung to notice your boyfriend until his cologne engulfs you, just moments before he pulls you into his side by your waist.

“how was your first race?” he whispers, lips right by your ear as he leans towards you. you relax against his hold as you mumble a ‘good’, and he presses his lips to your hairline as the two of you wait. yes, winning the race is, at most, rent money and a mild sense of pride, but jeno’s arms are tense around you.

he loves cars, and he loves racing them for enjoyment, yes, but you know that he’d rather be racing them to win and only to win. his dreams are lofty, but if he can win another streetrace, who’s to say he can’t keep winning his way up until he’s good enough for the big leagues? he’s beaten every racer in the city except for donghyuck, and whoever wins this race will hold the unofficial title of truly being the best of the best.

tonight has been jeno’s toughest race to date. he wants to live off the adrenaline just a little longer... that, and rent is due next week.

after eons, mark raises his head.

“i’ve got jeno,” he calls out, and jeno’s arms pull even tighter around you as he awaits the final verdict.

“so do i.” jisung responds, only just loudly enough to be heard by everyone. without meaning to, you let out a laugh of pure, unadulterated joy, and jeno spins you around to hug you properly. you hear donghyuck and chenle congratulate him, feel jeno get handed $100 by renjun while the other $100 goes to jaemin. you’re basking in your pride, face against jeno’s jacket.

it’s the first victory of his that you witness, but it certainly isn’t the last.

♕ ♕ ♕

september 12th, 2024.

“you know,” you start, words coming out in a satiated sigh as you shift to lay on your side. the silk sheets of the hotel suite’s bed tangle between your legs as you begin to trace random patterns on jeno’s skin.

“hm?” your fiancé prompts, smiling down gently at you as you lay your hand flat on his chest.

“way back when, everyone - all of my ‘friends’ - told me that i was crazy for picking up a boy who rode around in a camry and, quote unquote, looked like trouble. i wonder if they’re watching you now.” you glance up to meet his gaze, and the corner of his eyes crinkle as he lets out a quiet chuckle.

“don’t know if i ever stopped looking like trouble, to be honest, even if i don’t drive my camry anymore. haven’t changed much in these past four years.” jeno’s voice is husky at this time of night, just a little gravelly and soft enough to where you strain a little to listen. he never fails to make your heart do somersaults, even after five years of knowing him.

“you literally just won the italian grand prix, and you say you haven’t changed much?” your tone is still soft, though not without an edge of incredulity. jeno traces a finger down your naked side, moving so he’s pillowing his head with his forearm, all just to see you properly.

“i’m still the same guy, just with money and a better job. my morals are the same, fundamentals are the same - my love for you, what defines me, it’s still the same. just because i’ve got a couple of pro racing trophies under my belt -”

“- eight -” you interrupt, brow furrowed at jeno short-selling himself. he sees this, raising his hand to tease against your scalp.

“- under my belt,” he continues. “it doesn’t mean anything truly important has changed.”

“... i guess.” you finally acquiesce, and jeno fondly tugs you close so that you’re lying on top of him. the new position has something stirring in his chest, and he brings his hand up to your face, cupping your jaw before pulling you gently towards him.

“wanna know what i’m putting my prize money towards?” he asks, words sounding harder than they should. you squirm slightly, still just a little fucked out from earlier, but jeno’s always had a way of making you want more.

“what?” you ask, shifting so you’re straddling him. he lets you plant your hands on his chest before he responds, the beginning of a smirk evident against his plush lips.

“our honeymoon,” he whispers, leaning up so his lips are brushing yours. “wanna put all that cash towards a room with enough surfaces for me to bend you over to last us a whole week.”

jeno closes the space between the two of you with a bruising kiss, and you find that he’s right - nothing really has changed in the past four years. he still fits you perfectly, body made for your own.

some things never change at all.