#2018 continue tour

[wavernot4love]

time 4 yet another wavernot4love gig recap, gloomtown rochester edition (aka my seventh time seeing idkhow, fourth in rochester, & third at the montage music hall, the latter two a feat i cannot say for many bands) (note this was typed primarily at three am last night so once again there is probably incoherent rambling):

- gonna start this off with this clip of sunnyside since 1. i think that is becoming my favorite song off gloom division and 2. the ending gives me a chuckle

- boring live finally came back 2 me after four long years!!!!

- (dallon neurodivergency mention when talking about the themes of gloom division) (crowd erupts in cheers)

- return of the mormon tabernacle choir comparison arrived post- a letter, with dallon saying the next song (what love) wasn't something they tell you about in church, in typical cheeky fashion

- somewhat related, bro was wearing a gold sparkly grandma cardigan and randomly ripped it off and threw it CLEAN through the doorway of the like, green room at montage mid- what love. speaking of he said people at the vip earlier apparently planned his outfit

- dallon straight up grabbed a kid by the hand mid song and yanked them out of the crowd & onstage so they could do a lil jig together? good for them!!!

- going to leave the dallon quote "this isn't a frat house!" here w/o context

- someone handed him a giant american flag with a picture of him printed on it. god bless america

- ALL OF THE BRACELETS/KEYCHAINS WENT? after the show maybe 40 of us camped outside in case dallon came out and at one point someone who had reached out about them came over & so did a BUNCH of other folks who realized there were, in fact, bracelets. my cousin referred to it as the "meet & greet" since there were barricades set up along the sidewalk which gave me a bit of a laugh. guess i'm making more for buffalo yippee!!!! possibly may make stickers too later if i have time. i'll probably post em, but otherwise look for the person w curly hair & a baggy black thought reform hoodie w bracelets on a carabiner!

- so while we were waiting my cousin and i were sat RIGHT next to the main entrance of montage, right? basically the start of a sort of line of people sat down going down the sidewalk.

anyways, at one point only maybe 45 minutes after the show, out of said main entrance strolls dallon. collective whiplash moment as bro took one look, stopped dead in his tracks, we all collectively looked at each other like

and dallon (who i think was truly surprised so many of us were out waiting in the cold) goes, lightheartedly but genuinely, "what are you guys doing all out here? it's freezing outside!"

and then proceeds to kinda frolick around for a couple minutes laughing w people or whatever. we didn't really approach him since i think he was a bit overwhelmed but it was still just a funny moment and we'll see what happens in buffalo! maybe less people will hang after so it'll be less intimidating for him.

- i do feel the need to mention i heard this one kid we were talking to bring up video games to him & dallon said he's not a huge video games person he just plays the last of us & spiderman really which is funny to me but fitting

- i did bring my point & shoot so once i edit those maybe i'll post some!

anyways, stoked on tomorrow's show yay!!!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The specific process by which Google enshittified its search

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

All digital businesses have the technical capacity to enshittify: the ability to change the underlying functions of the business from moment to moment and user to user, allowing for the rapid transfer of value between business customers, end users and shareholders:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

Which raises an important question: why do companies enshittify at a specific moment, after refraining from enshittifying before? After all, a company always has the potential to benefit by treating its business customers and end users worse, by giving them a worse deal. If you charge more for your product and pay your suppliers less, that leaves more money on the table for your investors.

Of course, it's not that simple. While cheating, price-gouging, and degrading your product can produce gains, these tactics also threaten losses. You might lose customers to a rival, or get punished by a regulator, or face mass resignations from your employees who really believe in your product.

Companies choose not to enshittify their products…until they choose to do so. One theory to explain this is that companies are engaged in a process of continuous assessment, gathering data about their competitive risks, their regulators' mettle, their employees' boldness. When these assessments indicate that the conditions are favorable to enshittification, the CEO walks over to the big "enshittification" lever on the wall and yanks it all the way to MAX.

Some companies have certainly done this – and paid the price. Think of Myspace or Yahoo: companies that made themselves worse by reducing quality and gouging on price (be it measured in dollars or attention – that is, ads) before sinking into obscure senescence. These companies made a bet that they could get richer while getting worse, and they were wrong, and they lost out.

But this model doesn't explain the Great Enshittening, in which all the tech companies are enshittifying at the same time. Maybe all these companies are subscribing to the same business newsletter (or, more likely, buying advice from the same management consultancy) (cough McKinsey cough) that is a kind of industry-wide starter pistol for enshittification.

I think it's something else. I think the main job of a CEO is to show up for work every morning and yank on the enshittification lever as hard as you can, in hopes that you can eke out some incremental gains in your company's cost-basis and/or income by shifting value away from your suppliers and customers to yourself.

We get good digital services when the enshittification lever doesn't budge – when it is constrained: by competition, by regulation, by interoperable mods and hacks that undo enshittification (like alternative clients and ad-blockers) and by workers who have bargaining power thanks to a tight labor market or a powerful union:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

When Google ordered its staff to build a secret Chinese search engine that would censor search results and rat out dissidents to the Chinese secret police, googlers revolted and refused, and the project died:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonfly_(search_engine)

When Google tried to win a US government contract to build AI for drones used to target and murder civilians far from the battlefield, googlers revolted and refused, and the project died:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/01/technology/google-pentagon-project-maven.html

What's happened since – what's behind all the tech companies enshittifying all at once – is that tech worker power has been smashed, especially at Google, where 12,000 workers were fired just months after a $80b stock buyback that would have paid their wages for the next 27 years. Likewise, competition has receded from tech bosses' worries, thanks to lax antitrust enforcement that saw most credible competitors merged into behemoths, or neutralized with predatory pricing schemes. Lax enforcement of other policies – privacy, labor and consumer protection – loosened up the enshittification lever even more. And the expansion of IP rights, which criminalize most kinds of reverse engineering and aftermarket modification, means that interoperability no longer applies friction to the enshittification lever.

Now that every tech boss has an enshittification lever that moves very freely, they can show up for work, yank the enshittification lever, and it goes all the way to MAX. When googlers protested the company's complicity in the genocide in Gaza, Google didn't kill the project – it mass-fired the workers:

https://medium.com/@notechforapartheid/statement-from-google-workers-with-the-no-tech-for-apartheid-campaign-on-googles-indiscriminate-28ba4c9b7ce8

Enshittification is a macroeconomic phenomenon, determined by the regulatory environment for competition, privacy, labor, consumer protection and IP. But enshittification is also a microeconomic phenomenon, the result of innumerable boardroom and product-planning fights within companies in which would-be enshittifiers try to do things that make the company's products and services shittier wrestle with rivals who want to keep things as they are, or make them better, whether out of principle or fear of the consequences.

Those microeconomic wrestling-matches are where we find enshittification's heroes and villains – the people who fight for the user or stand up for a fair deal, versus the people who want to cheat and wreck to make things better for the company and win bonuses and promotions for themselves:

https://locusmag.com/2023/11/commentary-by-cory-doctorow-dont-be-evil/

These microeconomic struggles are usually obscure, because companies are secretive institutions and our glimpses into their deliberations are normally limited to the odd leaked memo, whistleblower tell-all, or spectacular worker revolt. But when a company gets dragged into court, a new window opens into the company's internal operations. That's especially true when the plaintiff is the US government.

Which brings me back to Google, the poster-child for enshittification, a company that revolutionized the internet a quarter of a century ago with a search-engine that was so good that it felt like magic, which has decayed so badly and so rapidly that whole sections of the internet are disappearing from view for the 90% of users who rely on the search engine as their gateway to the internet.

Google is being sued by the DOJ's Antitrust Division, and that means we are getting a very deep look into the company, as its internal emails and memos come to light:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

Google is a tech company, and tech companies have literary cultures – they run on email and other forms of written communication, even for casual speech, which is more likely to take place in a chat program than at a water-cooler. This means that tech companies have giant databases full of confessions to every crime they've ever committed:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

Large pieces of Google's database-of-crimes are now on display – so much, in fact, that it's hard for anyone to parse through it all and understand what it means. But some people are trying, and coming up with gold. One of those successful prospectors is Ed Zitron, who has produced a staggering account of the precise moment at which Google search tipped over into enshittification, which names the executives at the very heart of the rot:

https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-men-who-killed-google/

Zitron tells the story of a boardroom struggle over search quality, in which Ben Gomes – a long-tenured googler who helped define the company during its best years – lost a fight with Prabhakar Raghavan, a computer scientist turned manager whose tactic for increasing the number of search queries (and thus the number of ads the company could show to searchers) was to decrease the quality of search. That way, searchers would have to spend more time on Google before they found what they were looking for.

Zitron contrasts the background of these two figures. Gomes, the hero, worked at Google for 19 years, solving fantastically hard technical scaling problems and eventually becoming the company's "search czar." Raghavan, the villain, "failed upwards" through his career, including a stint as Yahoo's head of search from 2005-12, a presiding over the collapse of Yahoo's search business. Under Raghavan's leadership, Yahoo's search market-share fell from 30.4% to 14%, and in the end, Yahoo jettisoned its search altogether and replaced it with Bing.

For Zitron, the memos show how Raghavan engineered the ouster of Gomes, with help from the company CEO, the ex-McKinseyite Sundar Pichai. It was a triumph for enshittification, a deliberate decision to make the product worse in order to make it more profitable, under the (correct) belief that the company's exclusivity deals to provide search everywhere from Iphones and Samsungs to Mozilla would mean that the business would face no consequences for doing so.

It a picture of a company that isn't just too big to fail – it's (as FTC Chair Lina Khan put it on The Daily Show) too big to care:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM

Zitron's done excellent sleuthing through the court exhibits here, and his writeup is incandescently brilliant. But there's one point I quibble with him on. Zitron writes that "It’s because the people running the tech industry are no longer those that built it."

I think that gets it backwards. I think that there were always enshittifiers in the C-suites of these companies. When Page and Brin brought in the war criminal Eric Schmidt to run the company, he surely started every day with a ritual, ferocious tug at that enshittification lever. The difference wasn't who was in the C-suite – the difference was how freely the lever moved.

On Saturday, I wrote:

The platforms used to treat us well and now treat us badly. That's not because they were setting a patient trap, luring us in with good treatment in the expectation of locking us in and turning on us. Tech bosses do not have the executive function to lie in wait for years and years.

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/22/kargo-kult-kaptialism/#dont-buy-it

Someone on Hacker News called that "silly," adding that "tech bosses do in fact have the executive function to lie in wait for years and years. That's literally the business model of most startups":

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40114339

That's not quite right, though. The business-model of the startup is to yank on the enshittification lever every day. Tech bosses don't lie in wait for the perfect moment to claw away all the value from their employees, users, business customers, and suppliers – they're always trying to get that value. It's only when they become too big to care that they succeed. That's the definition of being too big to care.

In antitrust circles, they sometimes say that "the process is the punishment." No matter what happens to the DOJ's case against Google, its internal workers have been made visible to the public. The secrecy surrounding the Google trial when it was underway meant that a lot of this stuff flew under the radar when it first appeared. But as Zitron's work shows, there is plenty of treasure to be found in that trove of documents that is now permanently in the public domain.

When future scholars study the enshittocene, they will look to accounts like Zitron's to mark the turning points from the old, good internet to the enshitternet. Let's hope those future scholars have a new, good internet on which to publish their findings.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/24/naming-names/#prabhakar-raghavan

[yridenergyridenergy]

Dir en grey interview translation notes around The Devil In Me

Just some of the more interesting bits from the single's booklet and from PHY vol. 25.

Kyo

He was the one who came up with the title, and the title was determined before they even attached a song to it. The band basically decided to set a date for a new single ahead of time, not too long after 19990120's release, then they had just one song selection meeting (usually, they have three) to pick a song to work with toward becoming "The Devil In Me". After scheduling a release date, they had to pick a title before even knowing what song would be part of that release for production/logistical reasons.

Kyo wrote the lyrics of The Devil In Me based on his sense of dissociation from world events, how his own issues are not aligned with what the world cares about. He finds that people's lives are sometimes pre-determined the moment they are born. It's really a reflection on: "Why am I the way I am?"

The chorus has so many layers because Kyo wanted to illustrate that inner evil, or wickedness.

While re-recording Yokan, Kyo realized that he used to sing in short bouts, taking a breath more regularly, whereas he's evolved to sing as much as he can in a single, long breath now.

The small changes made to the lyrics of Cage just serve to help Kyo feel more immersed in that old poem, but if he'd wanted to change the lyrics to represent his current mindset, clearly he would have composed a completely new, different song.

Kyo commented in PHY vol. 25 that if the producers wanted a band that sells a lot, they would have had to replace him with someone who is taller, has a nice face and that composes songs that appeal to a wider audience. But around their debut, Kyo had to bend to some of the producers' demands because he had to rely on their knowledge of what would make the band successful. He wanted to make a very dark band, but he had to accept to make songs like Yokan.

"It wouldn't be appropriate to sing about corpses and internal organs to a melodious song such as Yokan (lol)."

Kyo feels like Dir en grey is the toughest band for him to be a part of, because the band's shows are especially mentally difficult.

Kaoru

The music of The Devil In Me was Kaoru's idea.

Kaoru agrees that the song kind of ends in a way that the band could have, in the past, followed up on with a second section of the song, but they felt like ending it in a more simple way now, which still represents the band's current state.

Die

The band had a discussion in a dressing room during Tour23 Phalaris Final –The scent of a peaceful death- and that's where they came to an understanding of where they wanted to take the band next. Kyo brought them ideas on what he felt that the next single song should sound like, but in the end, at the selection meeting, the majority of the band chose a completely different song than the other of the 5 that Kyo preferred. He's fine with letting the majority win.

Die started working out in 2018 to make sure to stay in shape for stage performances, and I think that he mentioned that it's important for him to appear young and healthy so that the fans who follow the band also don't feel old.

For Die, he was in part less active on stage during the Dum Spiro Spero era because the songs were dark and complex, so he had to focus more. Because of that, he couldn't enjoy the actual shows as much.

Toshiya

Toshiya mentioned that doing commemorative tours and shows is really just fan service.

Toshiya described Dir en grey as a group of five dictators. Their enemies and friends/allies are all inside that group, and the past 25(+) years have been a continuation of challenges to bring the band forward despite this type of chemical reaction between five egos.

Apparently the band never has casual "weird" conversations where they chat about their interests of the moment, but they quietly observe the others without interacting, like by observing what kind of clothes they wear or are into.

Shinya

Contrary to the band's habit, the vocals did not even exist yet when Shinya had to compose and record his drumming for The Devil In Me. When the vocals were eventually recorded, they kind of matched what Shinya had expected.

However, overall, a couple of members of the band feel like The Devil In Me might be a song that people react to with: "I don't get it", rather that just liking or disliking it.

Shinya dissing The Marrow of a Bone again hahah.

Shinya described The Devil In Me as mysterious, inexplicable.

He started taking some lessons from Buck-Tick's "Anii" (Toll Yagami) to learn a new drumming method. In the past, at the very beginning of his career, Shinya used to wear lead weights at his ankles to hit the pedal heavier and develop muscles, but Yoshiki and other seniors told him how to actually play and he quickly got rid of the weight belts.

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina! I’ve been following you for a long time and never sent an anon … However, today I was talking about Harry with my uncle and he said that while on a work trip he was at the gym at the hotel and Harry was there! I asked him when this was and he said it was sometime in 2018 … so I’m assuming it was during Live on Tour? Unless it was later in that year?

My uncle was working during the day so he was at the gym pretty late that evening. He didn’t know who Harry was so he was just working out like normal. Then when he was walking on the treadmill Harry came on the treadmill next to him. He said that he gave him the normal smile of acknowledgement — them both having earphones in — but then Harry started talking to him and they continued talking for like an hour! He said that he obviously doesn’t remember many details of the conversation, but he said that they were mostly talking about my uncle’s job and family stuff and then Harry said that his friend was waiting for him back in his room so he had to leave (and it was basically nighttime).

My uncle only today found out that he was talking to Harry because I was showing him pictures and he remembered his tattoos! Sorry this is long, I just wanted to share every detail possible!

His…friend. 🫠🫠🫠

Also, I’m sorry, but Harry just wanting to have a late night chat on the treadmill with a random man in the gym is the most Harry thing ever.

Please don’t burst my bubble and tell me this is not true, because I want to believe it. 🤪

[carnivore-voyeur]

Someone asked me a short while ago what happened to Dewdrop that caused him to miss two shows.* Thanks to @miss-grim and some research, I can share what happened:

On December 5th, 2018 during the Pale Tour Named Death, Dewdrop suffered an injury at around the midway point of the show. He continued to play the rest of the show, but backstage.

You can watch the full concert here.

Copia talks about him being injured at this point.

There's a news article here claiming that it was likely a shoulder injury as he was not moving his left arm after the show. That would certainly make it pretty difficult and painful to play. :(

Edit:

Here's a link to the final performance and final bows. You can see Dewdrop coming back on stage. His left arm is obviously injured. Aether and Rain come over to check on him.

Thank you anon for sharing!

*Additional Edit:

@fallenangelvexed was able to confirm that Dewdrop did in fact miss show(s), but that this was not due to the 2018 shoulder injury.

Dewdrop became the bassist for Ghost in March 2017. Here is video evidence that he is missing from the 2017 show in Argentina.

It's possible that the Dewdrop wiki confused his absence in 2017 with his injury in 2018, as it was listed that he missed two shows.

I recalled that their bassist had been missing from the stage during this era, but I couldn't remember which show and/or if it was Dewdrop.

It appears that it was Dewdrop and he missed the show due to an injury based on comments that were made.

Thank you so much for sharing!

Let's hope our Dewdrop doesn't injure himself anymore.

[daisyblog]

Arthur Went Viral

Too Young Masterlist Summary: A fan made a TikTok of Arthur at Louis and Harry’s shows.

Based on this request.

Since Arthur was young, it wasn’t unusual for him to be seen at a One Direction concert or of course his Dads or Uncle Harry’s show. So naturally a TikTok made by a fan went viral of the young boy living his best life enjoying the shows. 

The clip begins with a short clip of when Arthur was around eight months old. One Direction were playing at Wembley for the week, and a fan captured the moment of Arthur wearing bright blue ear defenders, as he sat in his mothers arms who was swaying slightly to the music, as the boys sung ‘What Makes You Beautiful’. 

Following onto a month later, with Arthur being nine months old. One Direction played their last show at Sheffield and of course all the boys families were there for the emotional day. A fan captured a special moment of YN lifting Arthur up towards the stage to Louis. Louis held the smaller version of himself and continued to sing his next line. But what caused the crowd to aww was when Arthur made grabby hands towards his Uncle Harry. 

In the next clip is from Harry’s Live on Tour show in Manchester, a nearly three year old Arthur is standing between YN and Anne, as he holds onto both their hands tightly. Kiwi was always a favourite at the shows, so naturally Arthur jumped up and down as he watched his uncle sing on stage. 

In Harry’s Live on Tour show in London, in 2018, YN and Louis who was carrying Arthur in his arms were videoed walking through the Arena. Fans waved and said “Hello” as they passed, causing Arthur to lift up his small hand wave back as Louis and YN smiled sweetly at the interaction between their son and fans. 

With Love on Tour in full swing, YN and Arthur, along with Anne had flown out to America for Harry’s San Diego show. Standing on the sidelines, six year old Arthur is holding onto his Grandmother’s hands as they both dance along to Harry singing ‘Treat People With Kindness’. Anne spins her grandson around and another fan captured Harry smiling on the stage at the interaction between his mother and nephew. 

YN and Arthur had flown to Paris to see Louis’ show with Lottie, Lewis and his grandparents. As they sat in the VIP box, fans were quick to capture small moment between the family members. Arthur was gently sat on pregnant Lottie’s lap. Many fans videos Louis pointing up to the box where his family sat, and the clip went viral of Arthur and Louis giving each other a thumbs up. 

At Louis show in Doncaster, a short clip showed Arthur dancing with Ernest and Doris as Louis sung ‘Little Black Dress’. The three of them shouting the lyrics as they danced around in a circle. 

YN and Arthur had spent the week travelling with Harry to Manchester and London for his shows at Old Trafford and Wembley Stadium. The mother and son were pictured and videoed as they were spotted by fans. Fans were quick to pressed record when Harry began to talk to the crowd at Wembley. “My favourite little person is here tonight” Harry looks up to the direction where he knows his family are sat. “Oh there he is! There’s my little man”. Harry waves at Arthur who is shyly clinging onto his mother’s arms as he realises a stadium is looking in their direction. “I know he loves this song, so I want to hear you all sing extra loud tonight Wembley”. As It Was begins and Arthur soon forgets about the looking eyes and starts to sing along. 

It was the last Love on Tour show. YN and Arthur were walking with Anne and Darren to where they were going to stand ready for the show to start. Fans began to call their names as they passed. But the clip that circles TikTok that evening was Arthur joining Harry on stage for the Treat People With Kindness dance. “Give it up for my dance teacher everyone!”.

Arthur was missing Louis terribly so knowing he was going to his Sheffield, Manchester and London shows was exciting for the mini version of Louis. Arthur spent the entire night at Sheffield standing against the balcony, not taking his eyes away from his Dad on the stage. Fans caught Arthur cuddled up between Daisy and Phoebe at the Manchester show, his hand placed on Phoebe’s large bump. 

Louis whole family and friends, including Anne, were at his show in the London O2. It was hard for the fans not to spot the large group as they sat on the higher level. “I’ve been so fookin’ excited to play here tonight…but even more so because my little lads here…where are yah Arth?”. Louis looked up and spotted a younger version of himself. “There he is…my boy…I love you lad and this next one is your favourite”. After shouting out loud to the full arena that he loved his Dad too, Arthur and YN danced and sung along to Silver Tongues. 

Taglist: @jillsvalentinex @itsmytimetoodream @peterholland04 @youcan-nolonger-run @chronicallybubbly

[raapija]

Need to know how you think Lance would respond to being mistaken for one of Fernando’s many kids-like would he be embarrassed or pissed-would Lando be like oh that’s my other dad 💀-I feel like they’d all love using it to mess with people 😭

Okay, this is hilarious, so I'll give you some fun scenarios of this happening...

Three short stories under the cut ! 💚

In 2018, Oscar was 17 and looking for his first own apartment in London. He had made plans to go view one flat and needed an adult to accompany him, so Lance agreed to go with him.

"Hello! I'm William, I'll be showing you the apartment." a chipper estate agent greeted them at a downstairs door to a small apartment building. They all shook hands and then made their way inside and up the stairs.

"This is a really nice flat. Everything is recently renovated and they also put in new kitchen equipment." the estate agent fumbled with a big bundle of keys as they stopped at one of the apartment doors. "Just a short walk to the nearest shops, the bus leaves right from the street down there and it's a really quiet building all in all."

The estate agent finally found the right key and opened the door for Lance and Oscar to step in. It was pretty; all new surfaces and a sparkling new oven and dishwasher. And no weird smells, it was all fresh.

"Looks good, right?" Lance asked after a little tour around the flat. They were all standing in a small living area attached to the kitchen. "Small, but not too small."

"Perfect for a young lad like you!" the estate agent pointed out and Oscar nodded along.

"It okay." Oscar said. "I think I'll need to ask dad or pops to come see it, too, though."

"Oh, you boys have two dads?" the estate agent chirped in. He looked at Lance and Oscar and then the two of them looked at each other.

"Uh, we're not brothers." Lance said and the man got a bit flustered.

"No?"

"He has two dads. I'm dating one of them." Lance explained. The estate agent blushed.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" he hurried to apologize. Oscar had to turn away to hold in a laugh and Lance rubbed his eyebrow to do the same.

"No, it's okay. We get that a lot." Lance said to make the man feel less bad. "Anyway, we think we'll be in touch with you. Right, Osc?"

"Right." Oscar replied and the real estate agent handed them his card.

"Of course! I'd be happy to show this to you and your father again, if you'd like. Both of them! Or... You? Or... I'm sorry." he dug himself into a hole with that one.

"Yeah, thanks." Lance chuckled.

One night, Lance and Lando were at a gay bar in Montréal. Lando liked going to gay bars, because he didn't have to pay for any of his drinks the whole night. Everyone thought he was just adorable... And Lance was big enough that he could fight back any potential creeps.

They were sat at a booth, when a man approached them and sat down on the opposite side of their table.

"Hi, sweeties." the stranger said and Lance and Lando giggled.

"Hi." Lando said back and batted his eyes. Free drinks incoming.

"You two are really cute together." the man said and the pair erupted into laughter. The guy was a little taken aback. "What? You're not together?"

"No," Lance said between laughing. "I'm his step-dad."

The man leaned back, visibly confused. It didn't take him long to smirk again. "Oh? Kinky. I like it."

Lance and Lando glanced at each other, holding back another big rumble of laughter.

"Uh, no, we really are father and son." Lance continued. "I'm married to his dad."

"So, no fun for us tonight?" the man sounded glum.

"No, I'm afraid. And he's straight. Wait, are you straight?" Lance turned back to Lando, who was already giggling.

"I dunno." the younger man shrugged his shoulders. Lance laughed again, and the man was even more confused.

"You two are insane." he groaned and stood up. Lance and Lando waved him goodbye and kept on laughing, leaning into each other and probably looking absolutely unhinged with the state of blissful drunkenness they were in.

When Carlos and Charles were having their baby, Fernando and Lance rushed to the hospital and then to the receptionist to find out where they were. The woman working there looked at them a bit amused, because Fernando was fully freaking out and out of breath while Lance was calmly standing by his side.

"Sainz! And, uh, Leclerc! Un bebé! Uhm...I'm grand-dad!" Fernando blurted out, his English more broken than usual.

"Uh-huh... and him?" the receptionist pointed at Lance with a raised eyebrow.

"He's grand-dad. Also."

"Hi." Lance smiled and gave her a small wave. The receptionist looked back and forth between them, cogs turning in her head as she assessed the situation.

"Right..." she said and then turned to her computer to find where Carlos and Charles were. "Did you say Sainz?"

"Sí, uh... Yes. Carlos Sainz."

"And your name?"

"Fernando Alonso. Díaz! Alonso Díaz."

"And you?"

"Lance Stroll Díaz. S-T-R-O-L-L." Lance spelled out for her.

"Huh, you all have different last names?" she looked at Fernando a little confused.

"Yes." Fernando answered and she turned back to her computer, blowing out a breath of air as she typed all their names into the system. Fernando was struggling to stay in place, and Lance put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"Okay..." the receptionist handed them a piece of paper. "I'll just need your signature here. They're in waiting room 21, just follow the yellow line on the floor and you'll find there."

"Gracias." Fernando said and hastily scribbled his name on the paper and then charged off. Lance chuckled after him and shook his head. He then carefully wrote his own name down, handing the paper back to the woman.

"Sorry. He's a bit extreme."

"Grandparents often are. Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you."

[engeorged]

Let Me Tell You About Jackson

Artwork by @swolescruff

Words by @engeorged

Chapter One: Jackson

 

Let me tell you about Jackson. We’ve all met someone like him before. Usually hanging around in the VIP area at a nightclub, or in some private members club. At first glance you’ll be instantly drawn into his good looks and expensive clothes. If you manage to talk to him, you’ll be charmed by his wit and the attention he gives you. However after a few minutes you’ll notice him beginning to look through you at a hotter person behind you. Or he’ll say something slightly uncomfortable about his politics. He might even begin name dropping so that you know that he’s important, or assuredly mansplaining something you actually know more than him about. You get the picture. 

Jackson was the only child of two very wealthy overachieving parents. I wish I could say they were actually quite nice but they weren’t. Not that Jackson saw much of them. He was in private boarding school by the age of two, all the way through to being 18. He spent the winter with family friends skiing and the summer on yachts sailing round the world and usually looked after by nannies who lasted only a few weeks due to his dad hitting on them, or his mother actually hitting them. 

He was actually quite an average looking kid until he was about 18 when puberty hit and he suddenly won the gene lottery. Neither of his parents were especially attractive or tall and so it was a surprise to everyone when one day this fine specimen emerged from his spotty cocoon. He was tall and broad shouldered which framed his nicely muscled body well. Having played rugby all the way through secondary school he had gained some serious muscle tone. Thick arms and legs with a perfectly round ass and a defined eight pack. His dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes definitely turned a lot of heads and he very much knew it. Even his dark body hair was perfectly sculpted in all the right places, without use of creams or razor blades. Jackson was Hot. 

His love of rugby meant that he got a very unnecessary scholarship to Oxford university where, for want of any actual passions, he predictably studied classics. Looking at him, you would assume he was as dumb as he was arrogant, but he was unfortunately also very clever. He easily achieved a first class degree with honours. But that wasn’t really what he loved, it was rugby that was the real passion in his life and his natural height and physique meant he was actually pretty good at it. The team became to him the family that he never really had. Now don’t get me wrong, he definitely found belonging there, but in actual fact it wasn’t as sentimental as it sounds. He also managed to find the other thing he desperately wanted, which was a steady stream of gay and bicurious muscled studs to fuck. Being as hot as he was, there was no shortage of conquests for him. He had pretty much slept his way through all of the hunks on campus that had met his exacting standards. And then quite a few more. 

By the end of his three year degree he didn’t really have a sense of what he wanted to do with his life so he chose a masters degree at random from the prospectus and did that. It meant he could continue living in a beautiful city, in the beautiful apartment his parents had paid for, playing rugby and sleeping his way through the college. By the age of 26 he had racked up 3 masters degrees in totally random subjects and was working on a PhD.

If you’re wondering why I know so much about this walking gonad it’s because he is me! I am Jackson. And I’m writing this to tell you about the day everything changed. 

Chapter Two: Nagyifu

It was the summer of 2018 when I found myself on tour with the rugby team in the middle of Europe. I’d only really gone on the tour because I was desperately trying to sleep with the captain of the team. He was telling everyone he was straight but I knew better. He was way too good looking to be straight and I knew it was only a matter of time before he’d succumb to my charms. We were in Bulgaria or Hungary or somewhere at the time and to cut a long story very short, turns out he was in fact very gay but unfortunately also very clingy. I had avoided him for a few days but it was getting harder in such a small hotel and so I had escaped, looking for something to do. We’d had a pretty wild party the night before after a heavy game in the pouring rain and I was hung over, bloated from the beer we had consumed and my muscles were aching hard from the effort of the match. 

I decided I was in need of a massage and so I’d googled massage places and came across one, conveniently downtown, called ‘Nagyifu’. It was a bit confusing but the Trip Advisor page gave it the highest rating in town, and one of the reviews had talking about a ‘big happy ending’ and I was definitely up for that. The weather was appalling but I had managed to find the place in a really seedy part of town. To be totally honest I was happy with that. It meant I was probably not going to bump into anyone I knew and that the prospect of a happy ending seemed even more likely. 

I pushed through the beaded curtain of the doorway and went to the unmanned desk. I rang a bell and waited for someone to come greet me. The vibe of the place was surprisingly high end considering how rough the part of town was, and I was even more surprised to see the Greek God pushing his way from the back office. The guy was maybe 6 feet tall and even more stacked than I was. He was wearing an outfit of white linen which was slightly see through and I could see his impressive physique through it. I was definitely going to enjoy this massage. He greeted me, not in English and so I pulled out my phone and opened up google translate. I typed in that I wanted a massage, but when I pressed translate nothing happened. I seemed to be out of signal. We tried to communicate with each other but I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. I tried to indicate that I wanted a massage and that I was feeling bloated and hungover and he seemed to understand me. 

He escorted me to a side room, chattering away in Hungarian. He showed me a pile of towels and indicated that I should take my clothes off. I would have expected him to have left at this point but he just stood there politely with his large hairy hands clasped in front of him. I began disrobing anyway, assuming it was just the local norm for him to stay whilst this happened. To be totally honest I was hoping he caught a good glimpse of my body. I’ve nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, quite the opposite. I’ve already told you I’m pretty good looking, but I’m also very well endowed and honestly I used to really enjoy people's reactions to seeing him. (I promise I’m not as douchey now!). I stayed naked for a few moments longer than was actually necessary before wrapping a small towel around my waist. 

Chapter Three: Tomas

The masseuse, who’s name I think was Tomas, simply smiled and walked me through to the treatment room where he showed me to a rounded and tiled massage table built into the floor. As I lay down on the contoured surface I discovered that it was heated and as the warmth permeated my aching muscles, I instantly felt relaxed. Tomas came round the side of me and handed me a small metal cup full of what I assumed to be a herbal tea. I later now know that it was a sort of muscle relaxant, but more about that later. 

The whole environment put me at ease. Laying back on the bed, I felt like I had no cares in the world, let alone a clingy ex who was probably hunting for me as I lay there. As I finished the tea I could have easily fallen asleep, but Tomas came back and indicated that I should turn over. As expected, from his own muscled physique he had strong, firm and confident hands, and within minutes he was working out not only the tension in my own thick muscles, but also childhood traumas I wasn’t even aware of. I’d had plenty of massages in the past but this was next level magic. It was enough to make me believe in God!

Using a thick oil, he worked across my back and broad shoulders and all the way along my arms. My left shoulder always had tension in it after an injury but it now felt like I had a whole new arm! He even managed to massage tension out of my fingers. He shifted his attention to my tree trunk thighs, which were pretty sore from the game. I was beginning to think ahead to the big happy ending Trip Advisor had promised. If this guy's hands were doing this to my muscles I couldn’t wait to see what he was gonna do to the rest of me!

After he had finished on my thighs, he spent a little while on my feet and then moved back up to my ass. I don’t think I’ve ever had my ass massaged before but he really went to town on it. I was literally in heaven and he was only half way. He indicated for me to turn over and so I obliged. Honestly I would probably have done anything he asked of me right now!

As I turned I noticed he had wheeled in some sort of machine and left it next to the table. I was a little groggy from the massage but after a second I vaguely recognised it as a colonic irrigator. I’d had a few before at some luxury spas and so I was open to them. It was quite a lot bigger than I’d seen before but I just assumed it was an older model or something. The tubes seemed to be attached to the bed though or something so I couldn’t quite work it out but before I started worrying he began working on my chest. He spent a while on my meaty pecs, rubbing a thick oil into my hairy muscles. Unusually though he didn’t stop there, he kept going down to my stomach muscles. Normally in a massage they will do the pecs and shoulders and then move down to the upper thighs but I didn’t really think anything of it, I was so relaxed. He really began to work the muscles of my abdomen, rubbing loads more of the thick oil into them. At the ripe old age of 26 I was a bit thicker than I used to be. Not fat in any way but my narrow waist was a bit less narrow these days. My flat eight pack had given way to a thick defined six pack anyway. 

I think at some point I had fallen asleep but a low whirring woke me up. I glanced to the left and saw that the colonic machine had begun springing into life. I followed the tubes and saw that they fed into the bed at the side and as I looked I felt a pressure building in my ass. An opening in the bed had given way to the metal end of the tube which was gently pushing up into me. I panicked at first but the oil he had used was working as a lubricant and the head slipped up inside me easily. The tube was a lot bigger than I had remembered but then this was a system I had not experienced before, so I shrugged it off. I felt the familiar surge of water as the first flush entered me. It lasted about 20 seconds and I felt the machine begin to pull it out again. We cycled through a few more times and the warm water entered inside me and washed me out ready for the next, longer flush. Tomas moved to my head and began a deep scalp massage which sent me into an even more blissed out state. I guessed this was why I was on my back and not on my side and I just relaxed into it. 

Chapter Four: The Treatment

I awoke moments later to feel an intense pressure on my abdomen as if someone was pressing hard on me. I looked down and was confronted with a wall of hairy flesh. It took me a while to realise that what I was seeing was in fact my own skin. My belly had blown out several inches and was rounded out, filled with water. Whatever setting the colonic was on had filled me out without taking the waste water out. It looked like I had swallowed a basketball. I searched the room and found Tomas standing behind me smiling. This made me relax slightly as it mustn't have been a glitch in the system but I tried to indicate to him that it was uncomfortable. I wanted to show him but I found that I couldn't really move my arms. The effects of the tea and the massage had made me virtually immobile. I lay there with my stomach distended for a few moments, not really knowing what to do until I heard the welcome sound of the machine sucking the water back out. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw my abdomen deflating and watched the remaining contents flushed out through the transparent tube. The waste water was clear, so the colonic must have rinsed me out now and that just must have been the final flush. 

It was a few minutes until the water stopped which made me think about how much must have been up in there. The machine stopped whirring and I relaxed, feeling relieved that the pressure had dropped. Less than a few seconds later I heard the machine start up again and I once again felt the surge of water inside me. Glancing at the tubes, what was now going into me was a much darker thicker liquid and I could feel the change in consistency as it pushed it way into my now empty insides. As I looked down the muscled furry ridges of my stomach began to rise again, the definition beginning to disappear as I began to fill up with the fluid. Tomas said something in Hungarian which I didn't understand but his tone was calm so I just lay back and assumed it was some sort of treatment he was administering to me. I could feel my stomach expanding as the thick liquid began distending my normally flat abdomen. I was fully awake now and even though I couldn't really move I was very aware of the stretching of my belly. Within a few minutes I was back to the same size I was when I last woke up but the machine made no sound that it was stopping. The liquid kept coming and I could feel my skin stretching to accommodate the volume that was entering me. I could feel the pressure getting more and more intense as I quite literally blew up like a balloon. My belly now rounded way out, the machine began to sound like it was slowing down and began to beep slowly. Tomas jumped into action and instead of turning it off began covering my belly with more of the massage oil. As he began to work it in, at first gently, he began working the skin on my taut gut, pulling gently to the edges. The whole time this was happening the machine was continuing its gradual filling. My belly was getting rounder and rounder and tighter and tighter. At that point I thought I was going to burst, the machine let out three long beeps and stopped. I lay there totally engorged waiting for the machine to empty me back out. But that relief never came, instead Tomas just continued massaging my comically oversized belly. The pressure was intense but I have to admit I could feel it decreasing, whatever was in the oil was clearly helping him stretch out my belly. I became aware that that wasn’t the only thing that was engorged. I was rock hard underneath my towel. I’d like to say that it was just the liquid rushing past my prostate that caused that reaction but I have to admit I was very aroused at this point. I’m not sure what exactly was doing it for me, but I wasn’t hating it!

Chapter Five: The Big Happy Ending

I lay there for a while just feeling a whole range of emotions. In the main, my focus was on the incredible pressure that was currently overwhelming my belly. It was like simultaneously being pushed hard in the stomach, whilst somehow feeling as stuffed as a Christmas turkey in December. The skin on my belly looked taut and firm and in a lot of ways I desperately wanted to touch it but I couldn’t really move much still. 

My emotions were all over the place as well. I should have been a lot more panicked than I was but the overriding emotion was just the thrill of what was happening. I was surprised to realise how much I was enjoying this. It was probably the most alive I’d felt in a long while without hanging out the back of some random hot dude. I looked round to see where Tomas had gone and I saw him playing around with the colonic machine. I was momentarily disappointed as I thought that the liquid would soon be pulled out but as I looked I saw him switch a switch. I felt the tube move in my ass but nothing else changed. The pressure remained the same. 

As I looked down at my belly and back up at Tomas I saw him pull a new tube from the side of the machine.  It was clear and slightly more rigid that the other tubes and had a valve at the top end. As if in slow motion I saw Tomas pull the tube up to his mouth and take a deep breath. He wrapped his mouth round the tube and blew out hard and I felt his breath push itself into me. The thick liquid inside me made audible bubbling noises as he began to pump me up even further. I couldn’t quite believe what was happening. I felt my already loaded belly begin to distend even further. Before I could object Tomas took a second breath and blew that into the tube. Helpless, I watched as he continued to pump me up like a balloon. My belly was past ridiculous now and was beginning to expand not only forwards but also to the sides as my insides stretched to contain the additional air. 

I could see by the seventh breath that he was beginning to struggle. His cheeks puffed out as he turned slightly purple. With a lot of effort he managed two further blows and then stopped after the ninth. My belly was now totally maxed out. I’d come into the place a little puffy from beer but basically with washboard abs. After my treatment I was now looking pregnant with twin elephants. Lying back at an angle all I could see was my own flesh curving off in front of me. I had swollen up so much I was practically pinned underneath it. 

I was struggling to breathe at this point, but was beginning to regain the use of my arms. I tentatively reached out my fingertips to touch my own belly. The surface was warm but rigid. I was used to feeling my own firm muscles but this was something else. The skin was stretched tight, over a wall of solid contents. The liquid and air combo inside me was incredibly high pressure. I felt if I was too near anything sharp the whole place would go up. I didn’t really have the brain capacity to process what was going on, I simply lay there, too vast to move and too stunned to care. So this was my happy ending?

I noticed that as I breathed only my chest was moving up and down. My belly so distended it was not moving an inch. As I struggled for breath, bloated and I’m ashamed to say horny, my whole life flashed in front of me and I began to consider everything. 

Epilogue 

Why am I telling you this? I think it’s because of what happened following this experience. I’d gone through my whole life with everything handed to me. My parents wealth and my own good looks meant that people would do exactly what I wanted all the time. My experience in the Hungarian spa made me feel totally out of control and it changed me. Having someone else do that to me was somehow cathartic. In the months that followed I started taking responsibility for my own life. I finished up my PhD finally and started playing rugby semi professionally. But that did come second to my new job. I put my money and my brains to use and I opened a spa back in Oxford. A spa for spoiled rich kids who had more money than sense. I could give them the same experience that I had had but then I could help them through the emotions afterwards. It’s like a sensory deprivation tank but you’re filled with the water! 

And my chief masseuse? Turns out Tomas rather enjoyed his work! And by his work I mean me!

Find the rest of my stories here

[iwanthermidnightz]

Swifties were left baffled after Taylor Swift’s former bestie, Karlie Kloss, was spotted in the stands during the “Bad Blood” artist’s last night of her Eras Tour stop in Los Angeles, despite rumors of a falling out between the two. But an insider exclusively tells Life & Style that the ladies are now “on good terms.”

“Taylor and Karlie never confirmed or denied they weren’t friends anymore so to see Karlie at her concert was a beautiful gift that everyone was happy to witness,” the source says just hours after the supermodel, 31, was seen at SoFi stadium on Wednesday, August 9. “The last time they were seen together was in 2018 so clearly something must have happened. And Taylor didn’t go to her wedding either, she was on tour in Australia at the time. Apparently it wasn’t a major falling out, they were just on a ‘friends break.’”

The source close to Taylor, 33, added, “We might never know the real reason, but whatever their differences were, that’s all water under the bridge now.”

Swifties were quick to take note of Karlie’s seats, which were in the upper bowl as opposed to the VIP tent where many other celebs have been spotted. However, the insider revealed that “Taylor was very happy to see Karlie at the show.”

“As far as I know, they chatted afterwards and made plans to see each other in the future,” they continued. “Bottom line, they’re on good terms again and the Swifties are loving it.”

[fiercynn]

palestinian poets: yahya ashour

yahya ashour is a touring poet and an awarded author.

ashour was born on april 22nd, 1998 in gaza, where he grew up and continuously resided until september 2023, when he came to the united states to participate in a festival, and wasn't able to go back home since the beginning of the genocide in gaza. he is currently staying in saline, michigan.

ashour was a 2022 university of iowa fellow and is a current 2024 mizna fellow. he has been published in numerous outlets around the world in arabic and in translation, and his first two books were the 2018 poetry collection لهذا ريان يمشي هكذا and the 2021 children's book لهذا ريان يمشي هكذا. he has also taught creative writing and literacy skills to both children and adults at various community organizations in gaza.

on march 29, 2024, ashour released A Gaza of Siege & Genocide: excerpts, a poetry book in english written and illustrated by him and published by mizna. all proceeds from this collection go to helping ashour's nineteen family members escape genocide, so please, please, please purchase this e-book before you read his other poetry, and give generously if you can.

since fall 2023, he has been reading poetry and talking across the united states about the genocide in gaza. his poetry reading is called: “What the World’s Silence Says: A Reading With Gazan Poet Yahya Ashour”. his current tour schedule and and ways to contact him are all listed at his website. he is also looking to be connected with any university, speaking organization, or media outlet around the world that might be interested in having him speak in-person or online about the book, so please get him touch with him if you have any leads.

IF YOU READ JUST ONE POEM BY YAHYA ASHOUR, MAKE IT THIS ONE

OTHER WRITING ONLINE I LOVE BY YAHYA ASHOUR

so the war would know i'm here, short film directed by andrew burgess of ashour reading aloud two poems translated into english

Gaza Under Siege (translated from arabic to english by atef alshaer) at poetry translation centre

From loss to solitude and not the other way around!, an essay in 28 magazine's special issue "coronaphone"

Enjoy the Rain at iowa writers' program

you can find the full list of poets featured in this series here!

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.08.05] AERA x Yuzuru Hanyu: 24.8.12-19 No. 37

person in focus

"After all, it's frustrating when I can't perform well."

A session with photographer Mika Ninagawa for the first time in a year. In a long interview exclusive to this magazine, he talks about the ideals he pursues.

Writer: Takaomi Matsubara

Professional skater Yuzuru Hanyu

Born December 7, 1994 in Sendai. 2009 Won the Junior Grand Prix Final at age 14. 2010 Became the youngest Japanese male to win the World Junior Championships. 2011 While practicing at a rink in Sendai, the Great East Japan Earthquake occurred, and he had to live in an evacuation shelter. The rink where he was training was temporarily closed. 2012 First participated in the World Championships, coming in third. 2013 Graduated from Tohoku High School. Enrolled in a correspondence course at the Faculty of Human Sciences at Waseda University, studying human informatics and cognitive sciences. Won his first Grand Prix Final. Won four consecutive titles thereafter. 2014 First Asian gold medal in men's figure skating at the Sochi Olympics. First World Championship win. 2017 Second World Championship win. 2018 Second gold medal in men's figure skating at the Pyeongchang Olympics. 2020 Won his first Four Continents Championship, becoming the first man to win all major international junior and senior competitions. 2022 Participated in the Beijing Olympics. In July, announced his professional career. The ice show "Prologue" was held in Yokohama in November and in Hachinohe in December. 2023 In February, the ice show "GIFT" was held at Tokyo Dome. In March, the ice show "notte stellata" was held in Miyagi Prefecture. In March and April, he appeared in the ice show "Stars on Ice" (Osaka, Iwate, Yokohama). In May and June, he appeared in the ice show "Fantasy on Ice" (Makuhari, Miyagi, Niigata, Kobe). In November, the ice show "RE_PRAY" tour began at Saitama Super Arena. The following year, it was held at SAGA Arena in Saga in January, Pia Arena MM in Yokohama in February, and Sekisui Heim Super Arena in Miyagi in April. 2024 In March, the ice show "notte stellata" was held in Miyagi Prefecture. In May and June, he appeared in the ice show "Fantasy on Ice" (Makuhari, Aichi). On September 15th, he will be performing in the "Noto Peninsula Reconstruction Support Charity Performance Challenge" in Ishikawa Prefecture.

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It has been two years since he made a new start as a professional figure skater in the summer of 2022. In 2024, he led three successful ice shows: "RE_PRAY" (Saga, Yokohama, Miyagi performances), "notte stellata" and "Fantasy on Ice".

The shoot with Mika Ninagawa for the first time in a year began with a cheerful greeting from each other, "Thank you for your continued support this year," and "Thank you." When she said to him, "You're still as young as ever!", Hanyu replied with a smile, a little embarrassed, "I'm almost 30."

"Move freely."

With those words, he made expressions and gestures as he pleased.

Various scenes were set up in the vast studio. Hanyu, who changed costumes and was photographed in each scene, moved and made expressions freely, sometimes under instructions and sometimes as if he was imagining (creating) a story himself. The people watching repeatedly let out gasps of amazement as the images were displayed one after another on the computer monitor. It was nothing short of amazing how he instantly exuded various moods - from boyish with a hint of innocence to cool and seductive.

His creativity was not limited to the way he behaved as a subject. When the BGM was played during the shoot, his body naturally responded to the music, and he also requested songs himself when he saw the costumes. There was also a moment when he saw a prop that had been set up and asked, "Do you have one more of these?" This revealed his high level of creative awareness.

The shooting has completed.

"Thank you very much," he said, and there was something light-hearted and cheerful about it. After a year, what he showed in the studio was a more mature and expressive side to him.

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Exclusive interview with this magazine

[In pursuit of a distant ideal]

He is now in his third year as a professional figure skater. Reflecting on his days of taking on unprecedented challenges, he spoke about what he has gained from them and what the future holds.

Photo: Mika Ninagawa    Writer: Takaomi Matsubara

Yuzuru Hanyu, the journey continues

hair & make up: Noboru Tomizawa  styling: Masataka Hattori costume: NEEDLES    BED j.w. FORD    YUKI HASHIMOTO  prop styling: Ayumi Endo

Yuzuru Hanyu started out as a professional figure skater in 2022. In his first professional ice show, "Prologue," he performed the first solo ice show in history. He skated for nearly two hours, with a structure that richly conveyed his skating career. Following "Prologue," he then performed a solo show at the Tokyo Dome for the first time in history, "GIFT." The ice show filled the gigantic venue, which had never been seen before.  After "Prologue" and "GIFT," he held the performance "notte stellata" in March 2023, which was filled with thoughts and prayers for March 11. It has been a year since our interview last summer, following those three performances.

Changes in the "depth" of thinking

"When I was interviewed a year ago, it had just been a year since I turned professional. I had a desire to grow and learn more specialized things. In the year since then, I think that my technique, expression, and many other aspects have changed. Among them, I feel that I have had many more opportunities to think about expression. I have been thinking about expression even in my daily life. I think that the way I think about my show, the way I think about each program, the depth of those things has clearly changed." He talks about what triggered the change in the past year. "First of all, I had to spend more time thinking about writing a new ice story after GIFT and also about my own performance.” The new ice story was "RE_PRAY", under the title "ICE STORY 2nd".  It opened on November 4, 2023 at Saitama Super Arena. It was performed in Saitama for two days, on that day and the following day, and in the new year it was performed in Saga on January 12th and 14th, and in Yokohama on February 17th and 19th, for a total of six performances in three cities. After the premiere in Saitama on November 4th, Hanyu said the following. "First of all, I myself have learned from games, manga, novels, and various other sources, about what life is all about, how precious life is, and other similar things that everyone else roughly feels.

In games, the concept of life is really light in a sense, and you can repeat it, so you can use characters to do all sorts of things and push forward with curiosity. If you apply that to the real world, you might be a person who has the drive to grab hold of dreams, or conversely, from a different perspective, you might be a very terrifying person. But if you could do it all over again, I'm sure people would try it."

24 hours a day, always skating

In this story with a game motif, the question of "choice" is often depicted. We make choices in our lives, even if we are not aware of it. What if you choose a different option than the one you originally chose? Or would you choose the same option? This story asks the audience, which serves as an opportunity to reexamine their way of life. Of course, just like "Prologue" and "GIFT," the fact that this story was completed and received with overwhelming acclaim was due to the performance of Hanyu, who was the sole performer. And even after six performances, he did not try to stay in the same place. He continued to evolve. There were many evidences of this growth at the final performance of the Yokohama show, for example. The movements in the performance of "Chicken, Snake and Pig" where he moved forward as if resisting the shackles. The performance of "Megalovania", following a silent performance without music with only the sound of his edges resonating, was more integrated with the music than in previous performances. Not only in the production aspects, but also in the details of Hanyu's performance itself, there were traces of refinement here and there. After the Saga performance, Hanyu spent his days preparing more rigorously for the Yokohama performance.  "Of course, I trained and restricted my diet. Well, how should I say it, there are 24 hours in a day, but I spent the entire time on nothing else but skating. In other words, skating was always present, 24 hours a day.” "That's right. To put it simply, it felt like I was spending every day just working on 'RE_PRAY'." The reason he spent all his time facing skating was because he had regrets about the Saga performance. "After all, it's frustrating when I can't perform well." However, the standards of frustration have changed from when he was a competing athlete.

Still not enough

"Gradually, the focus is shifting from scores to an evaluation. If something technical that I had planned didn't go well, then my evaluation vector changes and my perspective shifts. I couldn't accomplish what I wanted to accomplish in Saga, so I was simply disappointed." After spending 24 hours focused on skating, the Yokohama performance came. After the final performance, he said, "I feel a sense of accomplishment like winning the Olympics." While he felt a sense of fulfillment, he wasn't completely satisfied. He also felt that his ability had not yet caught up with what he wanted to do. "So I feel like there are still things I need to study more. Of course, I think I'm evolving. I think I'm getting better. But I still feel like it's not enough. As I keep digging deeper and deeper, my ideals become higher, and the things I want to express are becoming more and more specific. The more my ideals become more concrete, the more I feel like I'm not catching up." He is aware that he still has areas where he needs to improve, especially in the finer details. This is something he realises now, which he didn't feel this way when he was competing in the sport. "It's impossible to realise this when you're a competitive athlete. After all, if you can jump, you win. To be honest, if you couldn’t jump, there was no point in talking about it, as the outcome of the competition was pretty much decided by how many types of quadruple jumps there are and where you put them in the program. For example, what memories do you have of this song, the background of this song, what is the story you want to express, how will the story and the song fit together, or what meaning is in the choreography, to be honest, there’s not much room to think about them. You have to complete all your technical elements in one go in the four minutes of a competition (free skate), so that's all you can focus on."

A world not in first place

Win the match. In a competition, that is set as a goal. "Since I had already achieved that, there was no way I could go any higher. If you think about it in the world of competition, I won first place, so even if I tried harder, I couldn't get any higher than first place. In other words, I just tried to see how long I could maintain that first place position.

But in the world I'm in right now, even if I think I'm in first place, it may not be. It’s a place where I can think, "I'm still at the bottom". When I look at the various works of art or technically excellent things from around the world, I feel that there are still many things I can't do, so I think that I still have a long way to go." When he moved from the world of competition, which was fixed in a sense, to a new world, it was no longer a confined space. However, whether one knows its vastness or not, whether one feels that there is an endlessly wide world out there, is up to the individual. So even though the world is infinite, some people only notice a limited space. Or, there are those who limit the space themselves.

Right now, Hanyu thinks, "I still have a long way to go." He feels like he's at the bottom. This is because he knows that the world is endlessly vast. The reason he feels this way is because he has the ambition to move forward without being content with the present. So instead of seeing the place he has arrived at as the end point, he knows that there is still space to go beyond that.

Ideals evolve

"I may have surpassed the ideal I had a year ago. But the sense of distance between me and my ideal is probably the same as it was a year ago. For example, if the distance between me and my ideal a year ago was 10 meters, it may be 10 meters, no, 11 meters now. That's how I feel. I'm living and experiencing life, I see information every day, and in the midst of that, my ideal evolves. My ideal gets further and further away. But at the same time, through what I have seen and experienced, I'm sure I’m also one step closer to my ideal." Then, after a short pause, he continued with a smile. "As long as I want to, I think I can continue for the rest of my life." The skater is still on his journey, striving towards the ideals he has built with his own will. 

Source: AERA issue 24.8.12-19 No.37, pg 9-15 Info: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B0D89L6LS2

[dreamgrlarchive]

Nicki Minaj’s The Pinkprint Era (+No Frauds)

#PrettyHeiressDiaries: Eras Edition 🎀

this is my first #PrettyHeiressDiaries post. as i’ve previously stated, this series is going to be me diving into my fav muses and celebs and dissecting what i can take from these lovely ladies. this blog will focus on Nicki Minaj’s branding from 2014-2017 roughly. + a few Queen era looks.

The Pinkprint Era Style Elements:

the pinkprint was alter ego free, and a return to hiphop and r&b for nicki. meaning she was highly stripped of the campy pop rap star we had come to know. it was chic DOWN. think collector barbie vs the harajuku barbie. don’t mistake me though, onika was still very in touch with her cutesy girly side. there was a balance of sexy and chic with a few drops of cute. and this is why the pinkprint era is my absolute favorite, with her looks being a standard i follow for a lot of my looks.

nicki’s cute mirrors 🎀

nicki’s iconic black barbie insta selfies, wearing real hair or natural extensions(often textured ponytails and blowouts), minimal makeup and natural beats 🎀

lots of black and neutrals, statement purses (often times chanel) 🎀

nicki makes a return to the harajuku barbie aesthetic during the pinkprint tour 🎀 +

prissy pink looks i loved from this era 🎀

No Frauds Era Style Elements:

after the pinkprint era was dying down and nicki had become the victim of “the nicki hate train,” her style was still reminiscent of pinkprint. but i would say her branding shifted from the demure somewhat sweetheart to more of an unapologetically bad bitch. this is marked as the “no frauds era” (the time between pinkprint and queen)

glamorous gowns, grandiose blingy bodysuits and adornments, continuing from the pinkprint aesthetic, she’s still wearing natural glams and hairstyles 🎀 +

latex catsuits, lacey looks, pink as seen in the paper magazine cover and the motorsport video 🎀

literally queen couture (tiaras, headpieces, and maximalist furs), the subtle return of the barbie chain, 40 inch “you b*tches can’t even spell prague” naomi/cher hair 🎀

My Fav Queen Era Looks:

ex. tusa videoshoot, harpers bazaar vietnam cover, 2018 vma look, chun li cover art look, 2018 harpers bazaar look 🎀

So What Can We Learn?

Nicki’s style has never been anything short of ultra femme and makes it clear she’s not afraid to take up space and your attention.

As her branding and look shifts through these eras, it’s as if she’s becoming more aggressive with the her fashion to speak to the public.

During The Pinkprint Era, she said “Look, I can put the pink wigs and rainbow paint away and still capture attention while making quality work. Respect me.”

The No Frauds Era saw her evolve into a more flashy Nicki while taking hints of her past looks to say “I AM the greatest, you will NEVER top me, and I can remind you who I am.” Note the Barbie chain while also dressing like modern day royalty.

Nicki Minaj is a highly polarizing figure in pop culture but that should not stop us from acknowledging the cultural resets she’s delivered us in the fashion and beauty industry. When she said “I got all these girls wantin’ to be Barbie Dollz,” it wasn’t just a line, ITS TRUE. So many influential girls on instagram look like either Nicki, Kim K, or Madison Beer, just to name a few. The girls have taken a heavy note from the colored hair, bussdown middle part inches, bulky chains, all while trying to maintain an untouchable level of HYPERFEMININITY. An actual BLACK BARBIE.

-PrettyHeiressDiaries 🎀

credits: nathyyy and blessing mukosha via youtube, @thevirgodoll and @babyphat05’s breakdowns on femmes in the culture on the respective personal blogs.

[jooheonspinky]

Trivia: Love

Characters: Namjoon x Female Reader

Genre: idol!au, angst, smut

Synopses: A few years ago, Y/N met Namjoon while at a movie theatre. Hitting it off, they come to an agreement wherein Y/N signs a contract that entails helping Namjoon “de-stress” whenever he is in the US, even having Y/N travel to several of BTS’ stops when they are on tour. But then the pandemic hit, and it has now been almost two years since they have seen each other in person. With BTS coming to LA for several concerts and interviews, will they be able to get back to how things were before, or have the two changed too much in that time apart? 

Warnings: set during the COVID pandemic, mentions of mask-wearing and COVID tests, fingering, unprotected sex (both get STI tested before visits, as per contract. Not specified in story, but Y/N takes birth control).

A/N: This story is inspired by a dream I had on August 26, 2018. You can find the dream here on my Kpop Dream Logs. It took me several years to flesh out and finish this story and I'm really excited to finally get this put out there. I really hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to like, reblog, and comment. I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to read my work.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Part 1

Word Count: 4.5K

November 27, 2021

“Hi,” I offer the middle-aged woman behind the front desk as polite a smile as I can convey through my eyes. Trying to be as casual yet discreet as possible, I lower my voice and lean in as I state, “The room for Mr. Moonchild, please.”

The woman’s eyes narrow for just a millisecond before the friendly customer service expression settles back in place. Well, as far as I could tell, due to the navy blue face mask emblazoned with the hotel's logo on the right side covering half of her face.

“Name, please?” she probes, her tone neutral.

“Nabi Bomnal,” I provide the code name he had given me so long ago, my voice slightly muffled with my black medical-style face mask covering the lower half of my face. I resist the urge to tap my fingernails on the shiny granite top of the desk separating us, nervous anxiousness threatening to buckle my knees.

She hums her acknowledgment, and I can feel her eyes judging me as they flick from her computer screen and back to my face a few times as she types. I hold back saying, “We’re just friends,” as a way to justify why I’m here so she can stop searing my soul with her disapproving looks. She knows why I’m here. Yes, this woman knows exactly why I’m here.

“Ok. You are all set, Miss Bomnal.” Her eyes beam, and she seems way too cheerful. “I’ve already paged Mr. Choi. He will meet you at the elevators and direct you to the requested room.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, throwing her an awkward smile, though I know she can’t see it. 

I hope the gesture comes off more amicably through my eyes than it feels before hurrying off to the elevator lobby. This whole interaction would not have bothered me in the past. These were the exact steps I took two to three times a year, and I had been okay with it, ignoring the knowing looks given to me by hotel staff. However, this time, I find myself nervous and feeling ill at ease, my hands clammy as one tugs a suitcase down the marble flooring and the other hangs at my side, fist clenching and unclenching as I walk. It almost feels as if it is my first time all over again.

The elevator doors open just as I approach them, and a large, muscular man fills the space inside. He’s in all black from head to toe. His tucked-in T-shirt, whose sleeves hug his biceps a bit too tightly, also clings to his chest and torso muscles. My eyes continue down to a tapered waist, the shirt disappearing into his jeans. Black sneakers complete his outfit.

“Mr. Choi,” I greet him with a genuine smile and a short bow. “It's good to see you are well.”

He bows back. “I’m glad you are also healthy and well. Come, let me take that.”

It was fruitless to protest. For several years, this has been precisely the way our meetings started. I long ago gave up fighting him about lugging my suitcase around. Mr. Choi may look menacing, but he was a sweetheart underneath all that height and muscle.

“It’s been a while, huh?” I make small talk as the elevator doors close behind me.

“Almost two years,” he hums behind his black face mask. 

“Two years,” I parrot quietly in wonderment. 

We’re quiet after that, each of us left to our thoughts. It’s not for long, though. Soon, the elevator pings, the doors slide open quietly, and we step out onto a plush crimson carpet. Suddenly, the black skinny jeans, purple long-sleeve shirt, and black flats I wear make me feel underdressed.

Not that it would matter. It’s not like I would have them on for too much longer.

“Here we are,” Mr. Choi interrupts my thoughts. He swipes the key card over the black reader beneath the door handle, and there is an audible click as the lock disengages. Ever the gentleman, he holds the door open for me, and I walk into the large room. “You know the drill,” he starts after leaving my luggage by the door. “Here’s the key card. Make sure to leave it here at the end of your stay.” He hands me the card even as he continues his usual spiel. “Your negative COVID test results came through, as did your medical assessment. All is well, as usual.” I press my lips together, my cheeks warming up. Shouldn’t I be used to this by now? “I have reviewed his information also, and all came back negative. Here is a copy for your peace of mind, but for privacy reasons and the conservation of his reputation, the company has remitted his name, date of birth, and demographics. Since you are here, am I to understand you are still in agreement with the contract and arrangement made four years ago? I can provide another copy if you need it.”

Oh, I understand, I think dispiritedly. I understand that this is still just business between us.

“No need,” I let out a short chuckle, waving my hand as if that would brush away the brooding thoughts in my mind. “Yes, I still agree to all the terms. I understand.”

“Ok,” he nods, passing me the medical and COVID documents. “He left you something in the bedroom. Food, snacks, and drinks are in the fridge if you get hungry. My number is still the same. Call me if you need anything or if there is an emergency. They are due to arrive sometime after midnight, so you still have a few hours to yourself.”

“Thanks, Mr. Choi.”

“Have a good night.”

I wish him the same as I walk him to the door. Once he’s gone, I slip out of my shoes, leaving them by the door, and I grab my suitcase to head towards the bedroom. The hotel room was pretty much an apartment. There was a small bathroom to the left and a coat closet to the right in the foyer. The full kitchen had a stove, microwave, counter space, sink, and full-size fridge. Everything is stainless steel. The kitchen was on the right once you exited the foyer. Ahead from the entryway is a large living room area with a television, a couch, a loveseat, a chair, and a coffee table to the left. The TV sits in a shelving unit that takes up most of the wall, and many books of different colors and sizes fill the shelves. A sitting area on the opposite end of the room is arranged in front of a fireplace. Off-center to the living room and sitting area is a sleek black dining table with eight chairs, the chair cushions white, just like the couches and seats around the room. Beyond the dining room is a set of sliding glass doors leading to a roomy balcony with outdoor seating matching the decor inside the living space and a fire pit.

Turning left past the dining table, I finally reach the bedroom. Opening it up, I find a spacious room with a California King-sized bed. The covering atop the bed is fluffy and thick, hinting at the comfort it will provide. A set of French doors leads out to the balcony, a settee invitingly sitting near them, offering the person who sat there a nice view of the space outside.

Reaching the closet on the opposite side of the room, I unpack. I don’t have much, but I hang my clothing on the available hangers to avoid too many wrinkles. As usual, I leave everything else in the suitcase but take out my toiletries. In the bathroom, I can’t help but smile. It was a beautiful area with marble, the palest of pinks surrounding the Jack and Jill sinks. The walls were white marble tiles with light grey streaks, while the marble on the floor was also white, the grey whisps a darker shade. The same tiles continue into the shower, which is right across from the sinks, a luxurious area with several showerheads that I could not wait to use. At the end of the room, there was a grande deep tub. I was quite certain Namjoon and I could both soak in there together. At the opposite end, nearer to where I had entered, a quick stroll over has me confirming it was the toilet, separated from the rest of the bathroom.

Glancing down at my watch, I see it’s already 10:35 p.m., so I opt for taking a shower before it gets too late or I get too tired. Namjoon wasn’t due until after midnight, so I could have a leisurely shower and then lounge around while waiting for him.

But first, I want to see what’s in the bag Namjoon set at the end of the bed. Back in the bedroom, I quickly pull out the lilac tissue paper until a card and the present are revealed at the bottom. I can’t help but smile as I read the note.

Nabi,

I saw this and thought of you. I know you will wear it well. I also got you a little something for those days when you miss the moon. It will keep you company until you can see it again.

See you soon,

Moonchild

Grabbing the box the card had been lying on, my fingers brushed against a soft material. I chuckle to myself, already imagining what it could be. First, though, I wanted to see what was in the black box. Opening it, I can’t help but smile fondly as the contents are revealed. A full moon hangs from a silver chain, a small silver butterfly dangling a few links up. I waste no time clasping it around my neck, the moon charm falling just above my cleavage. 

Clutching it in my hand lovingly, I can’t help but wonder if his message had a double meaning. Yes, he gave me a little moon, something we both loved to look at. But he knows I associate him with it, not just because of his song ‘Moonchild,’ but because he loves to walk beneath the moon to release his creativity. So when his note says I can look at the necklace when I miss the moon, and it can keep me company until I see it again, was he talking about the literal moon, or was he talking about himself? 

Aloud, I can’t help but frown and say, “Nah.”

Namjoon has not indicated this whole time that there is more between us than a hook-up a few times a year. We do keep in touch by talking and texting over the phone when we are apart, even with his busy schedule, but I never get the sense that there is any romantic interest on his part whatsoever. Anyway, as Mr. Choi pointed out earlier, this was nothing but a business transaction, and I would be a fool if I let myself think anything more could ever come from this.

Not wanting to overthink the gift anymore, I moved on to the other item I had felt when I had gone to grab the box. Smiling, I lift the lingerie, trying to figure out exactly what it was besides purple lace and thin satin ribbon. I guess I would find out better once I put it on. With that thought in mind, I head back into the bathroom to shower.

Feeling refreshed after my shower, I sit comfortably on the bed, a near-empty glass of wine in my hand as I watch a movie to pass the time. Repositioning myself, I feel the lingerie shift beneath the robe I’d tied over it. As the material grazes across my skin, I’m reminded that Namjoon has yet to arrive to see me in the one-piece bodysuit he’d bought me. It barely covers anything, the deep-plunging V-neck stopping short of my navel. The material leaves nothing to the imagination, but the color compliments my skin well and accentuates my curves. The lace in the back only covers half of my ass, and the satin adjustable criss-cross straps leave most of my skin bare as it comes to a neat bow at my lower back. It certainly could leave anyone who wore it feeling sexy, and despite some insecurities, even I cannot deny that I could not wait to see Namjoon’s reaction to me wearing it.

The evening seems to be crawling by. The anticipation of seeing him after all this time has my nerves somewhere between frayed with anxiety and horny as hell. Either way, I feel like I’m on the verge of screaming. 

Downing the last bit of wine, I make my way to the kitchen, cleaning up my mess from earlier and leaving the dishes to dry on the counter before slipping out of the robe and sliding in under the bed covers.

Though I am so nervous, the combination of the flight and my jittery nerves has worn me out. I had wanted to stay awake to greet him, but the evening was going too slowly. So, I decided to kill time with sleep. Letting out a shaky breath, I feel myself slowly relaxing. The wine helps, and my eyes slip shut a short time later.

A door closing in the distance wakes me from a restless sleep. I had left the bathroom light on with the door just a smidge open to push back some of the darkness. I scramble off the bed, anticipating finally seeing him in front of me after so long driving away any remnants of sleep left behind.

As I step towards it, the bedroom door flies open, and I gasp. There he is. Kim Namjoon in an off-white suit, the suit jacket unbuttoned. The vest beneath has nothing underneath it, and my eyes are drawn to the deep V of the vest that shows a bit of bare flesh. He wears a thick black choker around his neck with silver spikes poking out randomly all around it. He looks devilishly handsome with his dark chocolate locks, shorter than I was used to, shaved at the sides, and spiked up at the front.

“There’s my beautiful Nabi,” he nearly growls as his eyes lock on me. Even through the thin slip of lace, he has tied across his eyes, I can see the stare is so intense, almost predatory-like, that I feel my heart rate kick up a few notches just because of it. “Come here,” he demands, even as his long legs quickly close the space between us.

Before I can even react, his mouth is slashing hungrily across mine. Inhaling sharply through my nose, I don’t resist. Instead, the fierceness of the kiss mixed with the scent that is his and his alone has my core clenching involuntarily around nothing. It’s like his smell is a key that triggers the memories of our past encounters to come flooding through to the forefront, and it’s the kindle to the fire he always knows how to ignite in me. 

He presses his body into mine, and we stumble back until we are met with the resistance of the wall.

“Namjoon,” I breathe as his hands dig into my hips, holding me to him.

Coaxing my lips apart greedily, he drags his tongue along mine, and I moan into his mouth. The bitterness of the beer he must have been drinking before mixed with mint tingles along my taste buds, and I can’t seem to get enough as my hands help him remove the blazer without breaking the kiss.

His mouth, so warm and soft, is not shy about exploring anywhere he wants to. Namjoon slides away from my lips to kiss my jawline before nipping at the pulse at my neck. His hips roll into mine, and we both groan.

“I missed your taste,” he growls as he hoists me up. “Missed this ass,” he smirks while he palms my bare cheeks and gives them a firm squeeze. I wrap my legs around his waist and smile at him. We are face to face like this, and he is such a magnificent sight to behold. He is like an incubus decked in all white and trimmed in lace, ready to devour me body and soul. His saccharine voice is a dangerous addiction that threatens to shatter my heart into a trillion little pieces at any moment if I don’t do better to guard and protect that much too-sensitive organ. With lips ruddy and swollen from the passionate kisses, face flushed, and eyes dark with pure need, he looks like sex personified. He walks us to the bed and drops me down. I shift to the middle, and he crawls on hands and knees towards me, saying, “Missed the way your tight wet pussy takes me so well...”

“Namjoon!” I gasp, feeling myself grow wetter with the filth coming out of those sinful lips of his. 

“What?” he chuckles huskily as he drops a kiss on my mound. “You look absolutely delicious in that,” he compliments as his hands graze up my thighs. There is a conflicting sensation, and I look down to see he is wearing white lace half gloves, the material stopping just past his knuckles. My eyes close, soaking up the feeling of a rough scratch mixed with the soft flesh of his fingertips ghosting their way up my body. “I knew it would suit you well.”

I can’t even answer anything he says, my body humming with sensations I have been deprived of for so so long. It’s as if I’ve forgotten how to speak anything other than his name. It wasn’t that I had withheld myself of relief while we were apart. Still, there is just a different feeling altogether when you have all these overwhelming sensations being coaxed out of you by someone else rather than a toy or your own self—especially someone as passionate as Namjoon. 

His lips have made their way up to my breasts. The tips press firmly against the thin purple lace, and he wastes no time snatching one between his lips. I let out a loud gasp as his hand slipped between my legs, palming me roughly. 

“Baby, you are so wet,” he growls against my breasts. Then, leaning back, he lifts his gaze to meet mine. “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait much longer. I need to be inside you.”

Mesmerized by his flushed cheeks and pleading eyes, I nod, “Yes. Please.”

He licks his lips hungrily, his mouth quickly returning to my breast. I’m groaning when I feel a finger slip inside me. Namjoon’s curse is muffled as he slides in and out, prepping me for what is to come and warming my body up even more. He slides in another digit, and my hips begin to roll upwards, wanting more friction. He’s pulling away, and I whimper, my entire body throbbing with the impending release I am so needing. Namjoon quickly removes the rest of his clothes, leaving on his gloves and the lace he had tied over his eyes.

He is crawling over me in no time, his naked form warm against me. Namjoon does not even give me the time to take off the lingerie. Instead, he pulls the material away from my center and brings his cock to dip into my juices. Biting down on my lip, my hands fist the sheets as he drags the head of his dick up my seam, the tip rubbing my clit sweetly. My hips arch up, and he chuckles.

“Greedy, girl,” he tsks but doesn’t delay the torture any longer.

Namjoon slides in slowly, groaning once he’s bottomed out. His hand kneads my breast as he leans forward to capture my lips in a deep kiss, allowing me to adjust to him. He tastes so good; I could kiss him forever. He gives his hips a hesitant roll, and when he gets a moan from me, he starts a slow pace. My walls begin to tighten around him, and he lifts himself onto his knees, his hands on my thighs, keeping them open wide. 

He looks incredible, with his tanned skin glistening in the glow of the bathroom light. His nipples are taut, his abs constricting as he chases his high. I can feel myself getting so close, finding it hard to keep my eyes open.

“Don’t stop,” I keen. 

Namjoon obliges, his hips picking up more speed. He feels so good scraping against my walls, touching that spot that he knows precisely how to hit. I bite down on my lip, and Namjoon smacks my inner thigh, and the shock of the sting has me spilling over the edge on a long moan, my hips rolling to meet his thrusts as I ride out my high.

“Fuck, you look so hot,” he pants as he yanks the lace from his eyes. “I need to see you,” he growls as his cock throbs desperately inside me. I know he’s close when his thrusts grow sloppier, and I rake my nails over his abdomen. “Oh, shit!” he curses as his abs constrict just before I feel him burst inside me. Though I’m already oversensitive, I lock my legs around his waist and buck into him as thick streams of his warm cum fill me up.

“Ok, ok, ok,” he shivers as he tries to unravel my legs from around his waist moments later.

I grant him mercy and release him, laughing as I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom. Using the toilet and cleaning myself, I bring a warm, wet hand towel back into the room. I can’t help giggling when I see him collapse back onto the bed after leaning over to toss his spiked collar and lace gloves onto the bedside table, his arms thrown out on either side of him as if that took the rest of the energy he had left.

“You good?” I ask sweetly as I clean him up.

“Come here,” he growls. I yelp, tossing the towel over the edge of the bed, when Namjoon snatches me up and tucks me into his side. He tenderly kisses my forehead as his arm cradles me to him, one of his legs nudging its way between mine. “I really did…miss you, Y/N,” he murmurs before his breathing goes steady.

“Namjoon?” I whisper.

But there is no response. Instead, he pulls me tighter against his sleeping and warm form. I try not to read too much into the gesture. Steadying my breathing, not wanting to wake him, I can’t help but let my mind wander.

How had I gotten here?

I smile fondly, remembering the day we met as if it was just yesterday. 

It had been a cool Spring night in 2017. I went to the movie theater by myself. Leaving the theater room after the movie finished, I looked up and became frozen in my spot. Right near the door to exit the building, I swore I had seen Kim Namjoon!

I blinked a few times. Looking around, I wondered how no one else had noticed. Granted, he had been wearing a face mask, sure, but those eyes and his stance? It was undeniable to me.

  He was scrolling through his phone and must have sensed my staring because he looked up. His gaze fell directly on me. My heart skipped a beat as he threw a wink my way and then brought a finger to where his mouth would have been. I nodded, respecting his wishes. That didn’t mean my heart wasn’t racing a mile a minute as I made my way to the exit and avoided any further eye contact.

As I walked to my car, my mind was reeling. I had been in the same space as Namjoon! I couldn’t even believe it myself. Lost in my thoughts, I had nearly let out a scream when a finger tapped on my shoulder.

“Jesus!” I gasped as I whirled around. “You scared me!”

A tall, muscular man in black jeans and a black t-shirt bowed. 

“죄송합니다. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s ok,” I laughed nervously. I still eyed him warily. He was quite fearsome; the bulging muscles that his clothing did little to hide spoke of how easily he could snap me like a twig if he truly wanted to. “Can I help you?”

“My client, he wants to meet you.” I cocked an eyebrow at him in question. “Namjoon-씨,” he clarified.

I could not help but laugh in disbelief.

“Really?” I scoffed. “Namjoon? Of BTS? He wants to meet me?”

I laughed again. The man, most likely a bodyguard if those muscles had anything to say about it, pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number. When the line was picked up, he spoke in Korean and then passed me the cell phone.

Now, my stomach fluttered as I accepted the device. 

“Hello?” I said hesitantly, then tried to backtrack with a “Uhm, I mean, 여보세요?”

I mentally face-palmed myself, instantly feeling my ears burn with embarrassment. A soft chuckle greeted me.

“Hi. I see you didn’t believe my bodyguard.”

I instantly recognized the voice. 

With my knees trembling, I was honest when I answered, “I didn’t. I mean, I’m not sure I do, still.”

He laughed again.

“I just wanted to thank you for not revealing my identity inside.”

Holy crap! It really was him!!

“Yeah. Sure,” I tried to sound nonchalant. “It’s nothing.”

“But for me, it is, so what do you say? Will you go with my bodyguard?”

“I don’t know….” I looked up at the intimidating man before me.

“I promise you’ll be safe.”

But my heart sure hadn’t been.

I should have known that very first night that I would not have been able to keep my heart guarded. I tried to be indifferent as I accepted his proposition, to not catch feelings. I did all I could to focus on the fact that this was all basically a business transaction. He would help me pay my way through school while I helped him “relieve some tension” whenever he came to the US. The more legal way of saying we were “fuck buddies.”

Simple. 

Yet the more time we spent together, the more we spoke, the more he chiseled his way in. The lines were getting too blurred for me. The two years we were unable to be with each other made me realize it. I thought maybe this time apart would dampen things, reminding me that there really is nothing between us but this contract. It hadn’t been so. Seeing him again, I knew I had missed him so much. He is so good to me and respectful despite the circumstances. And that only makes me adore him more.

I push all thoughts out of my mind as I feel tears threatening my lash line. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, praying they don’t spill over. Breathing in and out slowly, combined with the warmth of Namjoon’s embrace, helps me to settle down, and soon I’m relaxed enough to fall asleep. The sleep is so deep I don’t even feel him leave the bed a few hours later.

Credits:

Text Divider by @xxbimbobunnyxx

Moodboard by me.

For moodboard, used:

InCollage for layout, title, butterfly and photos.

Except Namjoon’s photo. Credit to RM x GQ Korea, Vogue Korea 2021

Motionleap was used for the movement within the moodboard.

Thanks for reading. Part 2 is out now.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

[operafantomet]

The Romanian / Norwegian / Greek / Middle East + European Tour version is really starting to hit many countries and cities now. Along with some photos of the current cast (from the respective webpages I have linked to underneath), here's a complete overview to where it has played so far, and where it will play in 2024-2025 (*):

JAN 2015: Teatrul National de Opereta, Budapest, ROMANIA. This was the prototype, directed by Stephen Barlow and designed by Andrew Riley. Leading trio was Adrian Nour, Irina Ioana Baiant and Florian Ristei, and it was performed in Romanian.

SEPT 2018 - MARCH 2019: Folketeateret, Oslo, NORWAY. This was a much updated version of the original Romanian production, with new costumes, and revamped sets and effects. Leading trio was Espen Grjotheim, Mira Ormala / Astrid Giske and Carl Lindquist, and it was performed in Norwegian.

JAN - MAR 2020: Thessaloniki Concert Hall and Christmas Theatre in Athens, GREECE. This was pretty much the Oslo production, but with some changes for tourability. From Greece on it has only been performed in English, regardless of the location. The original leading trio in Greece was Ben Forster, Celinde Schoenmaker / Amy Manford and Nadim Naaman. The production closed earlier than announced due to Covid.

FEB - MARCH 2023: Christmas Theatre in Athens and Thessaloniki Concert Hall, GREECE. Back in Greece, still in English, still an international cast, even more set and costume changes. This time the leading trio was Tim Howar, Harriet Jones / Georgia Wilkinson and Nadim Naaman.

OCT - DEC 2023: The Arena, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Continuing most of what was the case in Greece, except Nadim Naaman took over the role of the Phantom from Tim Howar, and Dougie Carter took over as Raoul. Was now dubbed "The Middle East Tour". It was the first time a full-scale production of Phantom of the Opera was done in Saudi Arabia.

FEB - MARCH 2024: Dubai Opera, Dubai. Same cast and overall set-up as Riyadh. This production followed in the footsteps of the World Tour (original version), visiting Dubai in 2019.

APRIL 2024: National Palace of Culture, Sofia, BULGARIA. Same cast and overall set-up as Riyadh and Dubai. This was, I think, the first time a city has housed two different non-replica productions. Not at the same time, mind you, as this version touring has meant the local productions are now allowed to perform for some time. This was at least what was announced from the producers in Bulgaria, Serbia and the Czech Republic. Curious.

AUG - SEPT. 2024: National Palace of Culture, Sofia, BULGARIA. The production has announced its return to Sofia this autumn. This due to the sold-out initial run.

OCT 2024: Sagros Campo Pequeno, Lisbon, PORTUGAL. The production has announced a run there from October 15-27, 2024. A concert version has previously been performed in Portugal, but it will be the first time a full-scale production is done.

NOV - DEC 2024: Musical Theater Basel, Switzerland. The production has announced a run there from Nov. 6 to Dec 22, 2024. The original Swiss production 1995-1997 did a hardcore thing of perfoming in both German and English. It will therefore not be the first time POTO is performed there, nor the first time it is performed in English. But it is the first time this exact version visits, and the 1995-1997 one was the original version.

FEB - MARCH 2025: Stadsschouwburg, Antwerp, Belgium. The production has announced a run there from Feb. 6 to March 7, 2025. The original Belgian production ran from 1999-2000, and was performed in the local language, but it will be the first time it is performed in English. It will as such also be the 10th anniversary for this specific touring version, as it premiered in Romania in January 2015.

MARCH 2025: Kongresove Centrum, Prague, Czech Republic. The production has announced a run there from March 19-27, 2025. This means the local production 'Fantom Opery' at Goja Music Hall has been paused. According to the official website the Phantom will be Nadim Naaman, the role of Christine will be shared between Georgia Wilkinson and Bridget Costello, and Raoul will be Dougie Carter.

(*) More dates will likely follow. Kuwait was announced some time back, but cannot be found anywhere now. Also, the local Serbian production announced a break because another version was visiting, so I won't be surprised if Belgrade is added to the list later on.

[bananaofswifts]

Whether she's breaking records or breaking Ticketmaster, Taylor Swift has proven time and again that she's one of the most powerful figures in modern music — and the Eras Tour is a manifestation of that.

By TAYLOR WEATHERBY

But after witnessing it in person, it's clear that Swift is not just delivering the tour of the year — it's the tour of her generation.

Sure, Beyoncé fans can't wait for her tour this summer; Harry Styles is about to embark on the final leg of his highly successful Love On Tour trek; BLACKPINK sold out stadiums around the country too. Yet, it's hard to imagine that any other tour this year will have a cultural impact as big as the Eras Tour — something that's wildly apparent whether or not you were there.

Even before Swift hit the stage for her first night at Nashville's Nissan Stadium on May 5, her influence was felt. Practically every fan of the 70,000 in attendance (a record for the venue — more on that later) was wearing some sort of reference to their favorite Swift era: a beloved lyric, or an iconic performance or music video look. While that's not necessarily a new trend in the Swiftie world, seeing all 10 of her eras represented throughout a stadium-sized crowd was equal parts meaningful and remarkable.

As someone who has been to hundreds of tours and most of Swift's — including the Reputation Tour, which I naively referred to as "the peak of her career" — I didn't think this one would feel much different than a typical stadium show. But even when Swift was just a few songs in of her impressive three-and-a-half hour set, a feeling came over me like I wasn't just watching one of music's greats — I was part of music history.

Below, here are five reasons why the Eras Tour will go down as one of the most iconic of Swift's generation.

It's Treated Like A Holiday

In the week leading up to the shows and over the weekend, Nashville was abundant with special events in Swift's honor. From Taylor-themed trivia nights to pre- and post-show dance parties to wine lists transformed into "eras," practically every place you went was commemorating her return (she last performed in Nashville in 2018).

While it's unclear whether this kind of takeover is happening in every city — after all, she does consider Nashville a hometown, as she said on stage — it's rare to see an artist have such a ripple effect by simply just coming to town.

During her May 5 show, Swift added to the excitement by sharing the highly anticipated news that Speak Now (Taylor's Version) was coming on July 7. Upon the announcement, three of Nashville's monuments — the John Seigenthaler Pedestrian Bridge, the Tennessee State Capitol and the Alliance Bernstein building downtown — were illuminated in purple, the album's color.

It's Breaking Records Left And Right

Though Swift is no stranger to breaking records, she continues to do so with the Eras Tour. After setting the all-time attendance record at Nissan Stadium on night one of her Nashville run, Swift topped herself (something has become accustomed to on the charts as well) with another attendance record on night two.

And despite the controversial ticketing frenzy the tour caused, Swift also broke a Ticketmaster record with more than 2.4 million tickets sold — the most by an artist in a single day — in the presale alone. If Swift announces an international leg of the tour, Pollstar projects that the Eras Tour could surpass $1 billion, which would add yet another first to her ever-growing list.

It's Spawned Parking Lot Parties

As if history-making attendance and record-breaking ticket sales aren't indication enough of Swift's power, the Eras Tour is so highly in-demand that fans are sitting outside of the venue to still be part of the show. Fans crowded barricades and camped out in the parking lot of Nissan Stadium, ready to watch (and sing along) Swift on the big screen — something that has seemingly been happening in every city.

It Can't Be Stopped By The Elements

Adding to the magnitude of the Eras Tour, Swift performs 45 songs across three and a half hours. And to make her last night in Nashville even more momentous, she did almost all of that in pouring rain.

Swift didn't get to take the stage until after 10 p.m. on May 7 because of storms in the area (she normally goes on around 7:50 local time), but that didn't mean she'd be shortening her set. Carrying on until after 1:30 a.m. — even through the "element of slippiness happening," as she joked — Swift made it clear that she's determined to give each show her all regardless of the weather.

It's Simply A Feel-Good Celebration

Perhaps it was the five-year gap between the last time she toured. Perhaps it was the four new albums of material. Perhaps it was the celebratory nature of the show. Whatever inspired the vibe of the Eras Tour, I've never seen Taylor Swift or her fans so alive. The passion was tangible, the energy was magnetic.

Though Swift has always been known as an artist with a very loyal following, it was still mind-blowing to hear 70,000 people belt out every word for three hours straight. There aren't many artists whose catalogs are as equally beloved as they are extensive, especially one who hasn't even seen her 34th birthday. No matter how many albums and tours are in Swift's future, the Eras Tour captures a special moment in time — and celebrates a legend in her prime.

[katnisspeetaprim]

At The Concert

Jung Hoseok/Reader

Summary: Hoseok was quite insistent that you come to this show in particular...

Warnings: Female reader, established relationship, idol!au, set around 2018 during the LY tour but not that important, fluff, crying, mentions of being anxious, marriage proposal.

Word Count: 1226  M.list

BTS were about halfway through their current tour, giving maximum effort each show they did. You always tried your best to attend as many of their shows as you could, since getting to spend time with Hoseok when he was on tour was scarce enough as it was.

For this specific show, Hobi had asked you some time ago to make sure you had time

off to attend and you weren’t sure why, maybe because it was the closest show on the tour to your home town? If that were the case though, you would have been there either way so you found it quit strange how pushy he was being about you attending.

You were currently backstage, watching the boys run around the stage from the wings. A lot of the time you just watched on the TV in the dressing room or private area in the audience, since you always felt like you were in the way just standing around backstage but, due to some particularly insistent staff members, you were side stage.

The boys performance was amazing as usual. Watching them perform never failed to brighten up your day. Once they finished their current song, it was time for them to line up and talk to the audience.

One by one they spoke lovingly to ARMY before they all fell silent and turned to face Hobi. They all watched as he stepped forward once again, all sporting wide and gummy smiles.

‘I know this is strange but I hope you ARMY will indulge me.’ The audience cheered loudly as Hoseok spoke. You looked on confused, not sure what he was up to.

‘When me and Y/N went public, we were shocked by the amount of support we got from all of you. We’d been together quite a while by then so it was important to us that we had your support.’ He continued to speak. Though you couldn’t see his face from your position you knew he was nervous but still smiling, you however were shocked. Why was he bringing you up? It was at this moment that you began to notice that some of the staff around you were throwing glances in your direction, making your nerves flare up and also feel a little self conscious. Did they know what was going on?

‘I know she’s going to hate me for this...’ He chuckled to himself, ‘Jagi come out here please.’ He turned back to face where you were standing, his arm outstretched and giving you a small smile. The audience screamed at the unusual turn.

Your mouth fell open in shock. You looked around at the staff for help, only to find smiling faces looking back at you, some of them even ushering you forwards onto the stage. Surely this wasn’t for real.

When no movement came from you, both Jungkook and Jimin ran towards you in an attempt to pull you out. They were laughing as they spoke to you.

‘Come on noona!’ Jungkook grabbed onto your right arm whilst Jimin grasped your left.

‘What’s going on!?’ You stuttered, still not willing to move.

‘Just trust us Y/N! You know we would never let anything bad happen to you!’ Jimin coaxed, trying to ease your nerves a little. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before you nodded. You knew what he said was true so you didn’t really have any choice but to trust them right now.

They both grinned at you again before excitedly pulling you onto the stage.

Blush crept up onto your cheeks when the crowd started to scream your name upon coming into view.

The two younger boys lead you over to Hobi, who in turn wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. He pulled back and gave you a bright smile, you keeping your hands firmly on his arms.

‘What’s happening?’ You were smiling but couldn’t help but cringe as your voice got picked up by his microphone. Causing all the boys to let out small laughs.

Speaking of...You noticed the 6 other boys lined up behind the two of you, all either grinning ear to ear or bouncing up and down with excitement.

Hobi took a step back, taking one of your hands in his before he started to speak.

‘Y/N you are the love of my life. You’ve been with me through thick and thin and you were always there for me, back when I was still training. All your support made me the man I am today.’ Oh...Was this really happening? You could feel your emotions building up in your chest as he spoke from his heart.

‘I really lucked out, getting the most amazing person in the world to date me back then. Being together all these years has made me realise I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you....So...’

It was then that he got down on one knee, pulling out a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. You knew it was coming after his speech, but it didn’t do anything to stop the tears flowing down your face, both your hand coming up to cover your mouth as the happy tears fell. Hobi opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. He really put effort into doing the research on what kind of jewellery you liked, talking none stop with your friends and mother to make sure he got the perfect ring.

‘Will you marry me?’ He beamed up at you, crowd going even more crazy, not believing they got to witness this in person. The boys in the back all holding onto each other in anticipation, hardly able to control themselves.

Unable to speak at that moment in time you nodded vigorously, hiding your face in your hands before taking his and pulling him to a standing position. You pulled him into a kiss, hands on either side of his face, while his hands came to rest on your wrists. You were now oblivious to the crowd, deaf to their screams. Right now it was just you and Hobi.

The two of you were only pulled out of the moment when the 6 other boys ran up to you both to congratulate you. Hoseok pulled away and took your shaking hand in his once again, to slip the ring onto your finger. You admired the ring before you felt your lip start to tremble again so you pulled him in for one last hug, which he was happy to accept. Hoseok made sure to cover his mic before whispering to you. ‘We’ll all celebrate properly later ok?’ he nodded slightly before placing a final quick peck on you lips. He placed his arm around your shoulders as he lead you back to the wings, and onto a waiting chair. Good. Your legs were like jelly. He pecked your cheek before quickly running back out onto the stage.

‘Ah she said no guys. Can you believe that?’ He joked as soon as he was back out, causing his members and the audience to laugh. You lightly shook your head, smiling at his antics.

After the show that night you knew you would all be going out to celebrate like he said, and you couldn’t wait for what would come after.