#2017 Fyodor

[starlightshadowsworld]

Scrooges fake funeral in Duck tales 2017.

Except it's Bungou stray dogs.

You've got Dazai faking his own death and having a grand funeral, with the Port Mafia and Agency all attending.

Fyodor is Glomgold, bursting in through the doors cheering that he's won. Nikolai is blasting "All I do is win" as Fyodor twerks on Dazai's casket.

And Atsushi is Donald, who ran out crying earlier and later passes out at Dazai's grand reveal.

Because everyone forgot to tell him it was a fake funeral and blame it on Akutugawa.

[asoftepiloguemylove]

WE SHALL BE MONSTERS

Saptajit Banerjee What does it mean to be human? // 스위트홈 Sweet Home (2020-2024) dir. Jang Young-woo; Lee Eung-bok; Park So-hyun // Victoria Schwab Vicious // Melissa Broder Problem Area from "Last Sext" // Clarice Lispector The Hour of the Star // 스위트홈 Sweet Home (2020-2024) dir. Jang Young-woo; Lee Eung-bok; Park So-hyun // Ocean Vuong On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous // George Seferis Collected Poems 1924-1955 // 스위트 홈 Sweet Home (2017-2020) cr. Kim Carnby & Hwang Young-chan // Fyodor Dostoyevsky The Brothers Karamazov // Frank Bidart Half-light: Collected Poems 1965-2016 // Florence + the Machine Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) // 스위트홈 Sweet Home (2020-2024) dir. Jang Young-woo; Lee Eung-bok; Park So-hyun // John Flaxman Scylla

[gratisdiamanten]

NO SHORTCUTS TO HEAVEN:

Or, Lance Armstrong buys himself a gun.

No Shortcuts to Heaven, Billy Graham, Decision Magazine (2005). // Lance Armstrong is treated for testicular cancer, Linda Armstrong Kelly (1996). // Psalm 138:6 ESV. // Stalker, Andrei Tarkovsky (1979). // Lance Armstrong crashes out of Stage 5 of the Amgen Tour of California, Associated Press (2010). // Recycling Religion: Lance Armstrong’s Postmodern Spirituality of Suffering and Survivorship, William J. F. Keenan (2014). // Lance Armstrong is treated for testicular cancer, Linda Armstrong Kelley (1996). // Lance Armstrong during the 91st edition of the Tour de France, Tim de Waele (2004). // Recycling Religion: Lance Armstrong’s Postmodern Spirituality of Suffering and Survivorship, William J. F. Keenan (2014). // For Stacy (photo and excerpt), Lance Armstrong, Recovox News (2010). // It's Not About the Bike, Lance Armstrong (1999). // Lance Armstrong in a youth BMX race ca. 1982, Linda Armstrong Kelly, Sports Illustrated (2013). // Lance Armstrong: It Wasn’t Legal but I Wouldn’t Change a Thing, Reuters (2019). // Lance Armstrong getting a medical check up before the Tour de France, Franck Fife (2003). // Effects of erythropoietin on cycling performance of well trained cyclists: a double-blind, randomised, placebo-controlled trial, Jules A. A. C. Heuberger et al., The Lancet (2017). // Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky (1866). // Luke 9:25 ESV. // Lance Armstrong at a victory procession for the Tour de France, Peter de Jong (2005). // Lance Armstrong climbing Alpe d'Huez, John Allen (2000). // It's Not About the Bike, Lance Armstrong (1999).

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

I just found out Fyodor's cello piece from the 3rd season is called "Bird of death" and I find that interesting for a few reasons.

First of all, is it connected to Nikolai? They work together and -shipping aside - if they're actually friends, it would make sense for Fyodor to write a piece either for him or simply inspired by him. Not only are birds associated with Nikolai, but death as well since he was supposed to die by being cut in half. He also kills people, so if we combine all those things, they kind of make him a symbolic bird of death.

Secondly, it would make the cello scene have a slightly different atmosphere as Fyodor would be playing a piece he associates with his friend who's going to die after commiting a series of murders while a different murder is taking place. Also the situation would be even weirder for Katsura because it would mean he was kidnapped by a guy who didn't just play cello for him, but play a piece he associates with his friend. Of course Katsura would have no way of knowing, but still.

Thirdly, does that make Fyodor a bird of death? Because if it's not connected with Nikolai whatsoever, then it's most likely connected with Fyodor himself. It would make sense because he kills people as well, but would also accidentally make both Fyodor and Nikolai be associated with both birds and death (#matchingimagery).

Lastly, how much does studio Bones know?? I checked the dates of manga volume releases and Sunday tragedy chapters did come out back in 2017, so the team working on the anime would have enough time to integrate this title as an easter egg if they wanted to do that (as the 3rd season began in April 2019), but then again it seems like a random idea to allude to a character from a future arc that they weren't animating at the time. Either a member of the team was/is a fan of bsd or they're getting extra info on future events. Bones also seems to be making surprising decisions when adapting the material (such as putting Fyodor in Untold Origins), so I think it's possible they know something we don't.

But it's also possible that Bird of Death has a different meaning that I'm not aware of or it's all just a coincidence haha

[13eyond13]

Do you have any non-manga book recs? I would like to read more too, any genre

Sure! Here are 30 books I enjoyed reading sometime within the past decade or so, in order of date originally published: BOOKS TO READ (or not, 's entirely up to you):

Pride and Prejudice (1813) Jane Austen Wuthering Heights (1847) Emily Bronte Crime and Punishment (1866) Fyodor Dostoevsky The Time Machine (1895) H.G. Wells The Metamorphosis (1915) Franz Kafka The Hobbit (1937) J.R.R. Tolkien Rebecca (1938) Daphne Du Maurier Confessions of a Mask (1949) Yukio Mishima Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) George Orwell Lord of the Flies (1954) William Golding The Talented Mr. Ripley (1955) Patricia Highsmith Rabbit, Run (1960) John Updike We Have Always Lived in the Castle (1962) Shirley Jackson In Cold Blood (1966) Truman Capote Interview with the Vampire (1976) Anne Rice The Mosquito Coast (1981) Paul Theroux Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (1985) Patrick Suskind Misery (1987) Stephen King The Silence of the Lambs (1988) Thomas Harris The Midwife's Apprentice (1991) Karen Cushman Middlesex (2002) Jeffrey Eugenides Oryx and Crake (2003) Margaret Atwood The Road (2006) Cormac McCarthy Heart-Shaped Box (2007) Joe Hill The Hunger Games (2008) Suzanne Collins Gone Girl (2012) Gillian Flynn Annihilation (2014) Jeff VanderMeer The Fisherman (2016) John Langan The Marrow Thieves (2017) Cherie Dimaline Paradise Rot (2018) Jenny Hval

[fairydrz3m]

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜

☆–:*My intro*:–☆

It hasn’t been long since I got Tumblr, but I’ve received a lot of messages… so I’m going introduce myself 💓

My name is Hortense :) I live in France but I speak English, Spanish, Italian pretty well and I'm currently learning Russian.

I love listening to music, reading books (anything philosophical or old lit). My favorite authors are Franz Kafka, Albert Camus, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Tolstoy ! I also enjoy watching movies and writing.

If you dm me , don’t be a creep please 💓

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜

☆–:*movies*:–☆

Call me by your name (2017)

Speak (2004)

Young & beautiful (2013, it’s a French movie)

The beautiful person (2008, another French movie)

La haine (1995, again a French movie)

Dead poets society (1989)

Gone girl (2014)

I believe in unicorns (2014)

Priscillia (2023)

Lady bird (2017)

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜

☆–:*Social media*:–☆

Tik tok- us3reyb (I have 684 followers)

Letterboxd- natashard

Pinterest- us3reyb

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜

[doukeshi-kun]

Keshi Keshi, Since when did you know bsd? And did you immediately like Nikolai or the other characters first?

i knew bsd from 2017. my first character that i genuinely liked is fyodor. i knew nikolai when i was reading an xreader from wattpad. i saw his name and googled him (yes, the first result is 'bsd nikolai death'). i decided to catch up with the manga and i was hooked with him. i wasn't that crazy with nikolai at that time cuz he's 'dead' and i was literally eating scrapes of nikolai x reader in wattpad. and then he came back in 2018 i believe (when he rescued sigma), and i was so happy :D i was seriously fixated on him in 2021

[lboogie1906]

Lolita Files (September 25, 1963) is an author, screenwriter, and producer. Among her six bestselling novels are book club favorites Scenes from a Sistah and Child of God. Her sixth novel, sex.lies.murder.fame was optioned for film with her adapting the screenplay.

The book Once Upon A Time In Compton by former Compton Gang Unit Detectives Timothy M. Brennan and Robert Ladd, along with her, about Brennan and Ladd’s years in the gang unit, the rise of Gangsta rap, gang wars, the LA riots, the investigations of the murders of rappers Tupac Shakur and The Notorious B.I.G., and the fall of the Compton Police Department was published on April 25, 2017.

She has a BA in Broadcast Journalism from the University of Florida and is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. She worked as a stringer for the student newspaper, The Independent Florida Alligator, and was a member of the University of Florida Gospel Choir. In her senior year, she was a Senator representing the College of Journalism and Communications in UF’s Student Senate.

She was born in Fort Lauderdale to Lillie and Arthur James Files, Sr. She was heavily immersed in mythology, Dante’s Divine Comedy, and the works of J. R. R. Tolkien. Her love of Shakespeare, Toni Morrison, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Zora Neale Hurston, Louise Meriwether, Vladimir Nabokov, Chinua Achebe, Claude Brown, Richard Wright, Gustav Flaubert, and Greek playwrights Sophocles, Aeschylus, Euripides, and Aristophanes would inform and influence much of her works. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #alphakappaalpha

[platonicpolycule]

Crime and Punishment meme dump pt.1

Dostoyevsky, Fyodor. Essay. In Crime and Punishment: A Novel in Six Parts with Epilogue, translated by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, 436. New York: Vintage Books, 2021.

Ibid., 304.

Ibid., 31.

Ibid.

Sick Jan. Chris Fleming. YouTube, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v =INPswB2dtDQ.

Ibid., 385-386.

Uezu, Makoto. “A Friend for This Crimson Demon Girl!” Episode. Konosuba: God’s Blessing on This Wonderful World! 2, no. 2, January 18, 2017.

[mariacallous]

The Russian authorities are not only kidnapping children from Ukraine, but also disabled citizens — people whose property and money they can dispose of freely by acting on their behalf in court, according to a report by the independent investigative outlet Important Stories (IStories) and The Reckoning Project. The journalists spoke to one of those displaced, who confirmed that no one had asked for his consent about being “relocated” to Russia.

The Russian Presidential Commissioner for Children's Rights, Maria Lvova-Belova, supervises the deportations. The displaced are housed in a district in the city of Penza called “Novye Berega” (lit. “New Shores”) — a place for people with disabilities and for others with physical and mental disabilities who became too old to remain in orphanages. The displaced disabled are quickly issued Russian citizenship and a disability pension, after which the institution claims 75% of this support payment for the right of residence. (This is a standard practice for such institutions in Russia, and it also happens in care homes for the elderly.)

“Novye Berega” is the most ambitious project of the Penza-based charity Kvartal Lui (lit. “Louis’ Quarter”), which was created by Lvova-Belova. IStories journalists discovered that the construction of “Novye Berega” cost more than 208 million roubles ($2.25 million).

The state, oligarchs, and local business all pooled funds to support the large-scale construction project. Donors included former Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich, billionaire nickel magnate Vladimir Potanin, “Orthodox oligarch” Konstantin Malofeev, and Vladimir Putin’s close personal friend Gennady Timchenko, as per the organization's financial reports. According to IStories’ calculations, Kvartal Lui’s projects received a total of almost 160 million roubles from Russia’s presidential grants fund, ranking it as the second-largest recipient in the “social protection” category since 2017.

Initially, “Kvartal Lui” and “Novye Berega” were headed by Maria Lvova-Belova herself. At different times, almost all her relatives managed to work in the organization: her father Alexei Lvov-Belov, husband Pavel Kogelman, and brothers Pavel and Fyodor (both of whom work in Kvartal Lui’s branch in Krasnodar). The official’s youngest sister, Sofia, was the architect and designer of the project. In the spring of 2023, she came to head the foundation, becoming its executive director. She personally welcomed the boarding school wards who were displaced from Ukraine.

Shortly before the grand opening of Novye Berega, Russian propaganda reported that “residents from [the] new regions” — euphemism used to refer to the Russian-occupied Luhansk, Donetsk, Kherson, and Zaporizhzhia regions of Ukraine — were brought to Penza: six from the Shakhtarsk orphanage located in the occupied Donetsk Region and four wheelchair-bound children from the Kherson Region in southern Ukraine. The Russian media wrote about their arrival as a solemn event, and the so-called “authorities” of the annexed territories thanked the Russian leadership and promised to show the children “how interesting it is in Russia.” Russian state-owned media also claimed that the children themselves expressed no desire to return to Ukraine, stating that they are satisfied with their current situation.

However, these Kremlin media claims are contradicted by firsthand accounts. Oleksandr Danylchuk, a 27-year-old who was among those displaced to Russia, told reporters that no one had actually inquired about their willingness to relocate:

“On the 15th [of November 2023], I didn't know yet that we were going [to Russia]. And on the 16th we were already told — they came to my room and told me to pack. And where [we were going] — no one said anything. Alla [Barkhatnova, the “head” of the Ministry of Labor and Social Protection of the Kherson Region] came in and said: ‘You, my dears, are going to Penza, to Russia.’ [...] [Already in Penza] I told them that I wanted to leave. And Sonia [Sofia Lvova-Belova] said, ‘Well, maybe you'll get used to us?’ I said, ‘Sonia, well, how old am I? What am I, 10 years old? How can I get used to it? I have friends there, my foster parents are there.’”

Oleksandr added that while still in the occupied territories, they began receiving Russian passports and were issued bank cards for allowances. “By making these documents, they think we will live in Russia. They think we belong to them,” he wrote to his former tutor.

IStories and The Reckoning Project found only eight cases in which relatives managed to get back the children taken from the Oleshky boarding school — this was the boarding school where all those taken to Russia had lived before. It was very difficult to return the abducted persons. Those recognized as disabled are forcibly granted Russian citizenship, and their families are informed that repatriation is impossible without a Russian international passport. The families then have to navigate the bureaucratic process of issuing the passport on their own.

IStories cited a woman named Oksana as saying that she was unable to bring her daughter home for over a month due to the bureaucratic requirement that she obtain an international travel document after being forced to accept Russian citizenship:

“[My daughter] was brought from Oleshky to Skadovsk, and from Skadovsk to Strilkove. There they gave her a Russian passport and told her that to leave now she needed a Russian foreign passport. We had to wait for a month while it was being issued.”

In one case, the parents of an abducted boy were required to undergo a DNA test to prove their relationship, as the grandmother was informed by a court that her documentation had errors, preventing the child's return without this verification.

Forced displacement is a war crime

Gleb Bogush, an international law expert and University of Copenhagen researcher, told The Insider that the forced displacement of civilians without just cause may constitute a war crime and, under specific conditions, could also be classified as a crime against humanity.

Maria Lvova-Belova has already received one such accusation. On March 17, 2023, the International Criminal Court (ICC) in The Hague issued an arrest warrant for Lvova-Belova and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Both officials were accused of the same crimes: “the war crime of unlawful deportation of population (children) and that of unlawful transfer of population (children) from occupied areas of Ukraine to the Russian Federation.”

“There are reasonable grounds to believe that Mr Putin bears individual criminal responsibility for the aforementioned crimes, (i) for having committed the acts directly, jointly with others and/or through others, and (ii) for his failure to exercise control properly over civilian and military subordinates who committed the acts, or allowed for their commission, and who were under his effective authority and control,” read a press release issued by the ICC.

Lvova-Belova herself said she perceived the ICC decision as a positive assessment of her work. She called the displacement an “evacuation” and justified it by her alleged concern for the children's interests. Ukrainian authorities have repeatedly stated that these actions are classified as deportation and genocide from the point of view of international law.

[kanejw]

What was read 2023

The Lottery & Other Stories - Shirley Jackson (1949~)

A Life Standing Up - Steve Martin (2007)

Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy (1985)

Licks of Love -John Updike (2000)

Lovesickness Collection - Junji Ito (2011)

Flowers for Algernon - Daniel Keyes (1966)

The Anarchy The relentless rise of the East India Company - William Dalrymple (2019)

The Wisdom of Insecurity - Alan W.Watts (1951)

War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (1869)

The Course of Love - Alain de Botton (2016)

Tender is the Night - F Scott Fitzgerald (1934)

Housekeeping - Marilynne Robinson (1980)

Moby Dick - Herman Melville (1851)

A Faint Heart (1848)White Nights (1848) A Little Hero (1857)An Unpleasant Predicament (1862) The Crocodile (1865) Bobok (1873) A Gentle Spirit/The Meek One* (1876) T1877) Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett (1929)

Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk (2005)

The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco (1980/3)

Diary - Chuck Palahniuk (2003)

Darkness Visible - William Styron (1990)

The Poorhouse Fair - John Updike (1958)

The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner (1929)

The First Forty-Nine Stories - Ernest Hemingway (1939)

Mythos - Stephen Fry (2017)

The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck (1931)

The Road to Wigan Pier - George Orwell (1936)

The House of the Dead - Fyodor Dostoevsky (1861)

Walden - Henry David Thoreau (1854)

The Gambler - Fyodor Dostoevsky (1866)

Normal People - Sally Rooney (2018)

Joy in the Morning - P. G. Wodehouse (1947)

After Dark - Haruki Murakami (2004)

The Lodger - Marie Belloc Lowndes (1913)

The Thing Around Your Neck - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2009)

The Right Stuff - Tom Wolfe (1979)

Family Happiness - Leo Tolstoy (1859)

The Death of Ivan Ilyich - Leo Tolstoy (1866)

The Kreutzer Sonata - Leo Tolstoy (1889)

The Devil - Leo Tolstoy (1911)

Nausea - Jean-Paul Sartre (1938)

True History of the Kelly Gang - Peter Carey (2000)

Foucault’s Pendulum - Umberto Eco (1988/9)

Inferno - Dante Alighieri (~1308-1321)

Iliad - Homer (Samuel Butler translation 1898)

Carry On, Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse (1925)

The Passenger - Cormac McCarthy (2022)

Stella Maris - Cormac McCarthy (2022)

Fear: Trump in the White House - Bob Woodward (2018)

Rubber Balls and Liquor - Gilbert Gottfried (2011)

kiss me like a stranger* - Gene Wilder (2005)

The Adventures of Auguie March - Saul Bellow (1953)

Rickles’ Book A memoir - Don Rickles (2007)

The ‘Rosy Crucifixion’ Trilogy. Sexus - Henry Miller (1949)

The Heart of a Dog - Milhaud Bulgakov (1925)

Dracula - Bram Stoker (1897)

The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (1939)

Albert & the Whale - Philip Hoare (2021)

A Waiter in Paris - Edward Chisholm (2022)

The Road to Oxiana - Robert Byron (1937)

[starlightshadowsworld]

Scrooges fake funeral in Duck tales 2017.

Except it's Bungou stray dogs.

You've got Dazai faking his own death and having a grand funeral, with the Port Mafia and Agency all attending.

Fyodor is Glomgold, bursting in through the doors cheering that he's won. Nikolai is blasting "All I do is win" as Fyodor twerks on Dazai's casket.

And Atsushi is Donald, who ran out crying earlier and later passes out at Dazai's grand reveal.

Because everyone forgot to tell him it was a fake funeral and blame it on Akutugawa.

[stickylittleleaves]

BOOKS & FILMS I FIRST READ/WATCHED IN 2022 THAT I RATED 4 OR MORE STARS

BOOKS

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969) by Maya Angelou

Ways of Seeing (1972) by John Berger

Blacksad (2006) by Juan Díaz Canales & Juanjo Guarnido

Saints and Strangers (1985) by Angela Carter

Discourse on Colonialism (1950) by Aimé Césaire

Stories of Your Life and Others (2002) by Ted Chiang

Are Prisons Obsolete? (2003) by Angela Y. Davis

Demons (1873) by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Absalom, Absalom! (1936) by William Faulkner

33 ⅓: J Dilla’s Donuts (2014) by Jordan Ferguson

Capitalist Realism: Is There No Alternative? (2009) by Mark Fisher

The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L’Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution (1938) by C.L.R. James

The Broken Heart of America: St. Louis and the Violent History of the United States (2020) by Walter Johnson

Horror: A Very Short Introduction (2021) by Darryl Jones

Red Pill (2020) by Hari Kunzru

White Tears (2017) by Hari Kunzru

Bartleby, the Scrivener (1853) by Herman Melville

Selected Poems (1912 - 1950) by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Socialism: A Very Short Introduction (2005) by Michael Newman

The Sympathizer (2017) by Viet Thanh Nguyen

The God of Small Things (1997) by Arundhati Roy

Antony and Cleopatra by William Shakespeare (1606)

Macbeth by William Shakespeare (1606)

Timon of Athens by William Shakespeare (1605 - 1606)

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail (2012) by Cheryl Strayed

The Little Stranger (2009) by Sarah Waters

The Cambridge Companion to American Gothic (2017) by Jeffrey Andrew Weinstock (ed.)

FILMS

It Happened One Night (1934) dir. Frank Capra

Bicycle Thieves (1948) dir. Vittorio De Sica

The Northman (2022) dir. Robert Eggers

Battleship Potemkin (1925) dir. Sergei Eisenstein

Smoke Signals (1998) dir. Chris Eyre

Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971) dir. John Hancock

Grizzly Man (2005) dir. Werner Herzog

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) dir. Tobe Hooper

Whisper of the Heart (1995) dir. Yoshifumi Kondō

First Blood (1982) dir. Ted Kotcheff

Dr. Strangelove (1964) dir. Stanley Kubrick

Eyes Wide Shut (1999) dir. Stanley Kubrick

M (1931) dir. Fritz Lang

Do The Right Thing (1989) dir. Spike Lee

The Green Knight (2021) dir. David Lowery

My Neighbor Totoro (1988) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

A Matter of Life and Death (1946) dir. Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger

Pig (2021) dir. Michael Sarnoski

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

Prey (2022) dir. Dan Trachtenberg

Citizen Kane (1941) dir. Orson Welles

The Animatrix (2003) dir. various

[akinomorie]

Black Sea

Author: Technicolour (Lirriel)

Summary:

A series of vignettes focusing on Atsushi - picked up by Mori and trained from a young age to be used as a tool. He's used to shackles, but he begins to seek freedom after meeting Dazai, an orphan eager to die. Alternatively: What if Atsushi and Dazai had been raised in the other's circumstances?

Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Nakajima Atsushi (Dazatsu)

Review:

• I'm absolutely in love with this fic. I've been rereading this tons of times already, analysing every sentence and theorising on the untold stories behind the words carefully left vague. This oneshot has so much potential I feel so inspired 😳✨

• I love the relationships between Atsushi and the PM members here. Mori is the horrible abusive adoptive father yet the one who saved Atsushi from his hell of the orphanage. Chuuya is still the same confident handsome bastard that I love in the canonverse, but with Atsushi as his partner he is gentler, calmer. And the Akutagawa siblings, who Atsushi cares for and grow to adore Atsushi in their own ways, really does weird things to my heart.

• The theme of this fic is freedom, which at first Atsushi didn't have because he was caged by the previous boss with a collar and later chained with thousands of ties to the Mafia by Mori, Chuuya, the Akutagawa siblings. His first meeting with one Dazai Osamu and many others later slowly change that. Personally I find the idea of relationship ties to be tragically romantic hhhhh.

• Atsushi's kindness. It is his kindness that leads to the, may I say, naive stubborn desire against killing, which Mori indulges, Chuuya sympathizes, and the Akutagawa siblings admire. Maybe I interpreted the lines wrong, or maybe I was right, but the PM members really try hard to protect this little hope of innocence that Atsushi holds, using their own twisted methods, despite how utterly foolish that hope is. Reminds me of the reasons why I fell in love with canon!Atsushi in the first place.

• Dazatsu's first meeting. I love the way Atsushi demands Dazai's will to live in exchange for the money, food and accommodation that he promises to provide. Really in character with Atsushi's love for life, both in this fic and the canon verse.

• Chuuya's gifts to Atsushi (and they are all expensive). Atsushi takes care of Chuuya when they go drinking. The two young boy comfort each other in the event of the trauma of their job.

• Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, calling Atsushi, "Atsushi-san" 😳😳😳 I also get this hunch quite often, that Akutagawa in this au is eager to kill because he wants to honor Atsushi's wish not to kill.

• Dazai's panic at seeing Atsushi's tears. Holy moly I felt like something in me was awakened when reading that part. Definitely one of my dazatsu favorite tropes.

• Atsushi! Smoking! (audible gasp)

• Dazai lit Atsushi's cigarettes 🤤 I want a cigarette kiss 🚬💋😉😘

• This fic was written back in 2017. The author admitted that they only read the manga and didn't know LN was a thing when they wrote it, which is why some details may seem out of place if you think about it. Personally I find this drawback to be quite appealing instead. I like to imagine how the other pieces of the BSD canonverse can fit into this au: Did Atsushi know about Yosano (because, Mori)? What would Fyodor do knowing Atsushi was the fearsome Beast of Calamity of the PM? How did Atsushi and Chuuya's first meeting go? How could Atsushi help dealing with Chuuya's Corruption power and Arahabaki? Where were Oda and Ango? How about Kyouka? So many questions, so many ideas...

Quotes:

*

“I’m never killing again.”

He doesn’t know where the sudden conviction comes from; he just knows that it bubbles and burns in his throat. The tiger paces inside his ribcage, making itself known in the ache that pushes up from the inside of his skin, pressing outward.

“What the hell, man.” Chuuya—doesn’t sound as angry as Atsushi would have expected, considering what he just said is tantamount to treason in their circle. Pacifists are dead weight, only good for menial tasks.

*

“I didn’t realize how famous Atsushi-san was,” Dazai says softly. He quirks his eyebrow at Atsushi, playful. “Imagine my surprise when I was being detailed on dangerous Port Mafia members and your name popped up.” He leans close to Atsushi, his breath hot against his skin and adds, “The reported number of deaths was strange, too.”

Atsushi shivers and says, “It’s complicated.”

Dazai shifts, turns his head fully to examine the camera that watches them. After a long pause, he turns back to Atsushi and asks, “Why are you with the Port Mafia, Atsushi-san? Someone like you...” and he pauses, looking down to where their hands are connected. “It just doesn’t make sense,” he says at last.

*

There are shouts, filled with rage and arrogance, as members of whatever organization has been marked for extinction surround him. They catcall and cajole him, laughing at the small, pretty sheep who has strayed from the flock and wandered into a concrete forest filled with wolves.

And always, always, Atsushi smiles mildly at them. Before each raid, he prays quietly for someone to have sense, for someone to escape into the night and not be foolish enough to stand and fight and die.

It is, Atsushi knows, a foolish wish borne from a foolish hope that this shall be the last death he must witness.

*

Dazai’s hand stills, and Atsushi feels his eyes. He continues to eat, quietly, layering the flavors that enter his mouth, trying to build a sensory symphony. “I have nothing to pay you with,” Dazai says, and Atsushi wonders if the lack of betrayal in his voice, the tired resignation, offers a clue.

“No, you do,” Atsushi says. “Something you hold little value in; something I consider to be of great value.”

*

Akutagawa does not quite smile at him – Atsushi does not think he even really knows what a smile is. But he quirks his lips, as if he is sharing something humorous with Atsushi, and Atsushi smiles back weakly.

“Atsushi-san could kill Mori-san and the other executives, and I would still want to follow Atsushi-san.” Akutagawa pauses, swallowing. And then he says, “Because Atsushi-san saved us… Our lives belong to you, Atsushi-san.”

Something weighty settles in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, and he breathes out a hummingbird’s sigh. Akutagawa, he thinks, is so incredibly earnest. The obvious adoration in his voice makes Atsushi’s heart hurt.

*

We are only children, Atsushi thinks, as Chuuya lurches toward him with another sob, wrapping his arms around Atsushi’s neck. It is easier for him, like this – when Atsushi is in his tiger form, large enough that his bulk takes up almost the entire available space, with Chuuya curled into his belly.

He doubts Chuuya would treat his human form like this.

The tiger blinks, sharing its body with Atsushi, and chuffs softly at Chuuya, nudging at his head. It only succeeds in knocking his hat off. Tigers cannot purr, their vocal cords are not designed for it, but Atsushi tries to convey comfort in other ways. It is the only thing he can do.

It is his fault Chuuya is this way.

*

“Dazai-kun is incredibly kind,” Atsushi says.

There is a shadow of melancholy to Dazai’s face as he smiles and says softly, “No, but Atsushi-san is kind to think so.” He lets Atsushi eat a few more bites before asking tentatively, “Would you like me to leave?”

“No,” Atsushi answers immediately, and is surprised to find that it’s true. “I’d appreciate your company, if you have nothing else to do.”

“Never,” Dazai says. He smiles, and there is a gentleness to his expression that fills Atsushi with warmth.

*

“It was my home.” The “was” is weighty; there’s a finality to the words, and suddenly Atsushi sees what the tiger has seen all along, has known ever since that day by the river. There is a peace that comes from this knowledge, and he smiles at Dazai, trusting him to see what Atsushi saw. “But home is someplace different now.”

“I understand,” Dazai says. And he smiles back, a soft curve that dimples one cheek and makes his eyes shine like stars in the dark of night.

[bandtrees]

its not like i dont agree with all those posts about how bsd season 5 finale is bad and stupid and was a big let-down and everything. cuz i do - but also... i'm not really upset with it in the way a lot of people are, tbh.

cuz if you're only now realizing bsd isn't a good mystery series and it has a lot of cheap shock value and forgoes interesting character development in favor of showing off how smart dazai or fyodor are... uh, welcome to the club? the season 5 finale is not really unique in this regard.

bsd, to me, though it has moments of compelling writing, and overall compelling characters (people Like its characters so much for a reason!), etc, has always been a low-expectations watch. it's always been the "oh what's kafka asagiri doing to his weird ocs now" show - from the start, it's done this. so much of season 1 reeks of the same "random out of nowhere twist to make the writing feel clever", and it's something the show's had a problem with, and continues to have a problem with. forever. to the point where to enjoy the series you just kinda have to meet it halfway and have fun with it.

when i first got into bsd in, like, 2017 or so, i hated dazai a lot. both because of personal reasons and because i just didn't like smug genius types who know everything. with him being such a major character, this led to a shallow perception of the show, as you'd expect. then, i rewatched it this year, and i went in with those same feelings - but i wanted to like bsd, and dazai by extension, so i just kinda... got used to him, because you can't fully appreciate this series and not. (that and i'd just matured as a person since 2017 and could look at him with more nuance lol)

like, i get being upset this season didn't end the way you anticipated. i loved the meursault arc, and season 5 episode 10 was one of my favorite episodes of the entire series i was genuinely excited to see a follow-up on. but also, if you know bsd does deathfaking and stupid silly plot twists that weren't telegraphed in the least, and you're genuinely mad every time they're pulled, then... maybe you should just watch a different show, yknow?

i don't say this to excuse the shitty writing, but rather, it's not really new, and buckling in for the absurd ride is part of the bsd experience, that it goes from a genuinely thrilling and gritty episode 10 to a completely batshit episode 11 that has the main antagonist quote jesus christ before dying in a helicopter explosion, is, like, really fucking funny. i can't even be mad. that episode is some of the most entertained i've been by this show, not even in its contents but laughing as i try to explain it to people and scream incredulously with my friend - it's a series where the good is good and the bad is, if nothing else, never boring. it's the series with the giant moby dick whale mech. it's the series that now has vampires in it for some reason. i think if you're looking for top tier character development and stimulating mysteries and peak fiction... you're looking in the wrong place, imo.

[transsexualgriffith]

in loving memory of nikolai calling fyodor "dos-kun" 2017-2023. forever in our hearts.