#2012 is literally 12 years ago

[pendragonsclotpole]

i’ve been seeing a lot of the danny phantom and dc crossovers lately, as well as checked out the tag on ao3. it’s grown exponentially over the last few years, which blows my mind, mostly because it’s a trope near and dear to my heart for the last seven to eight years. i first read a dp and dc crossover on the ffn website in 2015-2016. for context, the fic was originally published on ffn in 2012. i’m pretty sure it was one of the last fics i read on that site. the title has stayed with me for YEARS, even across multiple iphones, reappearing in my safari bookmarks, and following me on my ffn to ao3 transition. i’m queuing it for a reread, but just remembering it makes me wonder how many tropes of the current dp x dc crossovers it’s kicked off. For anyone curious, the fic is Zeus’ Dice. it was last updated on both ffn (where it has over 1k follows and favorites) and ao3 (where it was cross posted in 2016) in 2020. it has 9 chapters and it has yet to be finished. i have not reread it in years, but will do so soon to see how it is.

[theaestheticmerchant]

i think i've figured it out. the actual reason whedon's avengers writing, especially with the hulk and black widow, felt so weird and out of place. maybe this has been said or meta'd before but it's literally just because he was still writing them like they were buffy and angel characters, just with a new paint job and new faces, the entire time.

especially with bruce and natasha. and i mean, it worked when it was his gothic horror ocs, but less so when it's established marvel characters — but replace bruce/the hulk with angel, especially season 3-era angel after he comes back from acathla's realm and he's basically a feral beast who's scared of everything but also scares everybody too because of what he's done for a good few episodes, and natasha with buffy, especially any era buffy where she's more likely to suffer from some great and terrible burden (like, hm, i don't know, thinking she's a monster because she can't have kids due to military genetic experiments?) and spend her time monologuing her great shakespearean tragedy. the whole beauty and the beast-style "girl calms down giant monster who's scared and traumatized even though she is too" dynamic suddenly seems a lot more logical when you think of it that way and see them in that light, even if it doesn't make any more sense for bruce and natasha specifically here.

the tropes fit perfectly when you just switch out the marvel aesthetic for a buffyverse one. and of course, it works in the buffyverse because he can do whatever he wants with his ocs, but it felt so weird in marvel because he wasn't writing a marvel story. he was still writing shakespearean gothic young adult tragedy, but it had real superheroes in it this time instead of vampires and monster hunters.

even the villain makes more sense. take loki out and slot him in as, instead, a buffyverse big bad, especially a vampiric one. instead of his staff, it's a magical artifact, and instead of being from the nine realms, he's from a demon dimension — the chitauri portal at the end being a means to open a rip to a hell-world and let demons and the apocalypse through, like what acathla would've done, like what the judge tried to do, or the end of angel as a whole.

it's literally just one giant buffyverse episode he wrote using marvel characters while he was still in buffyverse mode. even the "mewling quim" line makes more sense — 100% that's something a big bad in his original verse would say while being weird and intimidating and scary and so of course it feels off and not quite right as a marvel story because it literally never was an actual marvel story in the first place

[what-eats-owls]

So there's something I want to say re: intentionally withholding your vote, and I want to do it without coming across as condescending or dismissive.

I've worked as a field organizer in two campaigns, 2010 and 2012, and my job was to help turnout the vote for Democratic candidates up and down the ticket. Technology may have changed, but people are still knocking on doors for specific voters the way they were 12 years ago.

If you say you're not voting/voting 3rd party, the campaign volunteer is supposed to mark that and move on. Their job, in the final month of the election, is to make sure the campaign's supporters have all the information and resources they need to cast a vote.

They aren't collecting data on why you're withholding your vote. They aren't submitting opinion polling results to the campaign. Something like 155 million people voted in the 2020 election, and if you say you're not voting, the campaign is not going to waste a volunteer's time and morale begging you to vote when there are literally millions of other voters to turn out.

Let me repeat that: The campaign does not track why you're not voting. They simply note your vote is not a priority for turnout and move on.

I say this because I see a lot of promotion of non-voting like that's a boycott, when the function is not the same. A boycott is a coordinated mass refusal to engage with an institution—which sounds similar if you see a vote as a good or service to withhold. Unfortunately, it's not.

A vote is a choice you're making as part of a community hiring committee. Your abstention doesn't prevent someone from being hired. It just lowers the threshold for the worst candidate to succeed.

All this to say: In my direct experience as an organizer, abstaining from the vote sends a message. That message is not "You need to try harder to win my vote." It's "Don't waste time on me."

[kjupchurch-xx]

12 Years In The Making - Tumblr Request

"Love, remember, we're having dinner tonight, don't make plans." Hugh yelled from the bathroom as he was shaving his face. 

I smiled, "I know, babe. I haven't forgotten. I'll make sure I'm free and finished up with my interview before 7." I said as I re-checked my dress. 

Tonight, was Hugh and I's tenth wedding anniversary. Normally, we'd be on a trip like we did every year for our anniversary, but I had just celebrated the premiere of a movie I'd been filming for the last year, so that halted our anniversary vacation plans. Our kids were visiting with Hugh's mother, Grace while she was in town, so we had the house to ourselves for the night. Hugh's older kids, Oscar and Ava were going to be joining us for dinner tonight. 

In 2012, Hugh and I met whilst working on a movie set together and immediately began dating. I was 22 and he was going on 44 years old. He'd been divorced from his ex-wife for about 9 months at that time. His kids were around 7 and 12 at the time. We married in 2014 with a quiet beachfront ceremony in Australia, surrounded by our immediate families, his children and a few of our closest friends. Our ceremony was more intimate than anything, with Hugh tearing up seeing me accompanied down the beach by my father. 

In 2015, we found out we were expecting our first child, Hugh's first biological child. Our daughter was born in early 2016. Our second daughter was born in 2019, with our son being born in 2022, just two years ago. Our kids were now 8, 5 and 2. Despite being a huge blended family, he knows I would never be caught dead driving a mini van or a "mom car". While he drives the luxury SUVs, mom still drives the Audi RX8 and occasionally a Dodge Charger if I have the babies in the backseat. 

I was shaken from my thoughts by a kiss on the cheek, "You look beautiful, baby." He said softly in my ear as he smiled at me. 

I blushed, "Thank you. Where are we going tonight?" I asked, knowing he would never tell me, but always hopeful that he'd slip up one day and spoil a surprise. 

He smirked at me as he shook his head, "Now Darling, you know if I told you where we were going, it would spoil the surprise." 

I playfully rolled my eyes, "How am I supposed to know where to meet you after my interview if I don't know where you're taking me to dinner?" I asked, trying to catch him up once more. 

He chuckled as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head, "You're meeting me at the first place I took you when you moved to New York. That is the only hint I'm giving you." 

Stefanos. Stefanos was the first place Hugh took me for dinner once I'd officially moved in with him, in 2013. It was a beautiful, high-end Italian restaurant. He'd picked it because he knew Italian was my favorite type of cuisine. 

I smiled as I pulled him in for a kiss, "I've gotta go or else I'm gonna be late." I mumbled against his lips.

He smirked against my lips, mumbling back, "You can be fashionably late, love. I would love to ravage you right here." 

I giggled, "As much as I want to, and you know I have a hard time turning you down, I have to go... but, later tonight, I promise I'll make it up to you." I said seductively while slowly grazing my hand over the crotch of his pants. 

He laughed, almost shivering at my touch, "This is why we have three kids." He said nonchalantly. 

I laughed as I grabbed my keys to head towards the door of our home, "Alright, I'll see you at 7." I said, smiling as I walked out of the house. 

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I quickly finished up my interview, noticing it was now 6:30, which meant I had to haul literal ass to Stefano's to get there by 7 to meet Hugh for our anniversary dinner. I grabbed my keys and wallet and began sprinting towards the elevator, then towards the parking garage where my car was parked. 

I managed to make it to Stefano's right at 6:59 on the dot to see Hugh standing outside of his SUV, looking at me. I quickly shut the engine off and jumped out, "I am so sorry I'm almost late. The interview finished at 6:30, traffic downtown was a nightmare." I said almost anxiety ridden from the traffic. 

He giggled, "It's okay, love... But I lied to you. We're not eating at Stefano's." He smirked, trying to keep a straight face. 

I looked at him almost wide eyed, "Why did you make me rush to Stefano's then?" I asked, getting a bit annoyed. 

Traffic and anxiety were not my friend, clearly. Luckily, my husband knew this and never took it personally. 

He chuckled at me as he walked up to me and kissed me, "Because you kept insisting that I tell you where I was taking you." He said cockily. 

I sighed, chuckling as I rolled my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Okay, I learned my lesson. Now seriously, what are we doing?" 

He pulled away from me and walked towards his SUV, "Get in and I'll take you to the actual place we're going." 

I shrugged my shoulders, "Okay." I said as I grabbed my wallet out of my Audi, locking the car and getting into his SUV. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hugh drove for another 10 minutes, while his free hand interlocked its fingers with mine. The ride was filled with him happily singing along to songs on the radio. I noticed we were pulling up at an event venue and looked over at him. 

He knew I was going to, considering he was smiling at me as he parked the car. "What are we doing, Jackman?" I asked, almost suspiciously, raising one brow at him. 

He chuckled cheekily, "We're doing another press interview." He said casually. 

I squinted my eyes, "This is not a very good surprise." I said sarcastically. 

He rolled his eyes, shutting the car off and getting out, "Just come on." He said, mocking annoyance. 

I got out of the SUV as he came over and linked his arm with mine as we began walking towards the entrance of the venue. 

"Is this seriously a press interview?" I asked, noticing all of the cars in the parking lot. 

He nodded, "Okay, it's not a press interview. We're going to Ryan and Blake's wrap party, but I promise, I am taking you to dinner afterwards." He said as we continued walking. 

I sighed. It was our tenth wedding anniversary. As much as I loved and adored Ryan and Blake, I wanted to celebrate my anniversary. I didn't care to be celebrating everyone else tonight. This was out of the ordinary for Hugh, but with how busy he'd been with the press for Deadpool & Wolverine, I'm not too surprised our anniversary had slipped to the back burner. 

As we approached the entrance, his grip on my arm tightened as he pulled me closer, wrapping one arm around my waist. As we entered the venue, I immediately spotted Blake and Ryan, and a group of people I hadn't yet recognized or paid much attention to. There were pictures of Blake's new film, It Ends With Us plastered near the stage area. 

Blake and Ryan approached us, "About time you two made it. We were getting ready to post your numbers on a billboard." Ryan joked. 

Hugh and I laughed, "Thanks for coming, you too. I know it's your anniversary, you can blame him for the poor planning." Blake said sympathetically as she shot Ryan a glare. 

I smiled as I hugged her, "It's okay. Thank you for having us." I said, hiding my disappointment. 

"Mommy!" I heard yell as I felt two small arms wrap around my waist. 

I chuckled as I looked down to see our middle daughter hugging my waist, "Hey boo, where's grandma Grace?" I asked her as I rubbed her hair. 

She shrugged, "She's talking to uncle Shawn." Our daughter said as she pointed over to Shawn Levy, who was in fact chatting it up with my mother-in-law, as she held our two year old son on her hip. 

I giggled, as Hugh asked her, "What about daddy? You didn't miss me?" He playfully pouted. 

She giggled as she playfully shook her head no, still holding onto my waist. 

Our 5-year-old was a bit...scared of daddy after seeing him on the set for Deadpool and Wolverine. She truly believed daddy had claws that come out of his hands when he's upset, which has been hilarious and a bit aggravating convincing her that Daddy indeed does not have claws that come out of his knuckles. 

I stooped down to look at her, "You better give daddy a hug." I said playfully, trying to sound firm. 

She shook her head no, "Mommy, daddy has claws that come out of him hands." She said as matter of factly. 

Hugh tried hard to not show his laughter as he watched our interaction. 

I shrugged, "I know he does." I nodded, "If you don't hug him, I think they might come out. Quick, hurry!" I said dramatically to her, lightly pushing her towards Hugh. 

Ryan was having a hard time holding his laughter back as he watched me interact with my daughter, while Hugh shot me a glare, trying also to not laugh as our daughter nervously walked over and hugged her dad. 

Hugh shook his head at me as he picked her up, "Baby, daddy does not have claws. Your mommy just says that because she's got them and doesn't want you to know the truth." He said sarcastically as he stuck his tongue out at me. 

As we walked further into the venue, I began noticing the people in the crowd. I saw my family, Hugh's siblings, his mother of course, a bunch of our friends, my step children, etc. 

I looked towards Hugh, "Did you fly my family here for Ryan and Blake's wrap party?" I asked almost in disbelief. 

He smirked, "I flew your family here for your gift, baby." 

I looked at him, puzzled. "I'm so confused right now." 

He chuckled as he sat our daughter down, "I've got to go give a speech for Blake. I'll be back." He said quickly as he walked over towards the stage, grabbing a microphone, tapping it to make sure it's on.

Our daughter ran to play with the other kids as my family approached me, showering me in hugs. My family did not live in New York, they lived further down south. Hugh always made sure to fly them up for any special occasion. He knew it meant the world to me whenever he'd include them in anything we did. 

Hugh began speaking into the microphone, "Hello everyone. " He said with a smile, "Tonight, we're here to celebrate the premiere of Blake's new film." He continued as he smiled towards Blake and Ryan. "I just want to say, I appreciate each and every one of you for coming tonight. Planning this event has been stressful because I did not want to risk my wife finding out." He smirked towards me, laughing nervously. 

I looked up at him, shooting him a glare. So he couldn't plan something for our anniversary, but he could take the time to plan something for our friend's movie release. I noticed Ryan and Blake looking over at me, snickering. Hugh noticed my glare as he continued giggling nervously. 

"My wife thinks she's here to celebrate Blake's movie." He said as he smiled cheekily at me, "But actually baby, we're here to celebrate our anniversary." He said sweetly as my glare faded into an over-emotional expression. "Ten years ago, I married this beautiful, sexy, gorgeous woman. I met her twelve years ago to this very day, and I fell madly in love with her." He paused as I began to tear up. Our oldest daughter, who was 8 walked over and held my hand. 

I shook my head in disbelief that I'd actually thought he'd forgotten to plan something special. "Baby, this party is for you. You are an incredible mother to our children. You are an incredible wife. I am so blessed to be married to you and to share this life with you, even if you are difficult to deal with sometimes." He joked, causing me to chuckle while everyone began laughing. 

He smiled at me, "Come here, baby." He said as he motioned his hand for me to come up on the stage. 

I blushed shyly as I walked up towards the stage, taking his hand. "I love you. Happy 10 years, baby." he said sweetly as he pulled me into his arms, smiling at me. 

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you too. Happy 10 years...and to many, many more..." I said as I pulled him in for a kiss.

[me-paina]

AO3 Recommendations Part 2

Previous recommendations - Part 1

Next - Part 3

Hey so, I haven't done this in a long while but I wanna recommend some AO3 fics that I have read and loved these past few years. I'll put a limit because I can go on and on, so 12 fics per fandom. (multifandom person >:))

(Oldest to newest bookmarks of mine)

UNDERTALE -

1. Because I Trust You by WrittenKinzy18 (Complete)

(I love all of their fics! you should read the Winged Multiverse series)

2. Soulless by ItzZaira (Complete)

(ItzZaira fics are always amazing no matter what fandom!)

3. Silent Stars by fifi11 (Hasn't updated - 2022) :((

(This is a sad one guys, so, buckle up.)

4. My Fault by Keelynoelle (Complete)

(I read this a long time ago but I know there was some good brother bonding moments and Grillby being amazing (made me emotional))

5. From Murder to Dust by Clichely (Complete)

(Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dark. Good one though)

6. Steel and Stripes by Lady Quo  (Hasn't updated - 2021) :(((

(This is just adorable. ¡Tiny sans alert! Older papyrus!)

7. Fatigue by duckydotducky (Hasn't updated - 2021) :(((

(Monsters are really untreated fairly, at least one human is nice. )

8. An Err in Communication by TheVoidIsMyHome (Complete)

(Mute Error. Literally love this concept.)

9. Inquisitive by Another_thing (Hasn't updated - 2020) :((((

(You don't know how much I love FGOD Error, I go crazy for it. Why is Nightmare's gang so wholesome, I swear, I love them so much)

10. ZombieTale by Kamisori (On going)

(I literally can't describe how amazing this fic is. This has helped me get through so much over the years. Thank you for making this amazing fic!)

11. Serif One by samlysam (Complete)

(Sans, and Papyrus, are going through so much There are a lot of fics where Gaster is bad but it still hurts. I'm glad Red, Alphys, Undyne, Edge and Miss Toriel were there for them.)

12. Scenic Our House by grubbin (On going)

(If you don't say Snowy is the best character ever, then I'm not being your friend. I love this rendition of the machine bringing skeletons here.)

ROTTMNT -

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

1. The wrong side of the portal by ItzZaira (On going)

(See I told you they are good at writing. This is just so heartbreaking for Leo (2018) but don't worry I swear it gets better.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

2. Stranger Danger by Balkanbitch (On going)

(The Mikey's switched places. I think it's good for Mikey (2012) to have a break and be in the ROTTMNT universe. Not so sure about Mikey (2018) though, I mean he could help the others and make them act to be better family, but on the other hand, the krang is still here, and as we have seen, it can cause a lot of PTSD and other issues.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

3. Dagger From the Mirror by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account (Complete)

(Dagger from the Mirror is dark, hahaha, but Stranger in the Mirror the sequel of it (you should read it too) is a lot darker and also gets better (eventually))

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

4. Presumed Dead by Minor_Inconvenience23 (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(The 2012 gang is so caring! I love Leo angst if you couldn't tell.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

5. Displaced by spiromachia (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(PB & J duo is amazing. I love this so much.)

(ROTTMNT)

6. Power Up by pickledcarrotsandradish (On going)

(Leo angst again. This is just sad. new power up and it's to heal or rather take the pain away and give it do himself. :( he is just so sacrificial.)

(ROTTMNT)

7. Fading Memories by HellsTrojanHorse (Complete)

( This reminds me too much of when my grandpa passed. it's been 2 years. This fic made me cry. Their writing style is so beautiful. The way they write, and show their emotions in the words are just perfect. This fan-fic just reminded me that I'm not alone in feeling this grief. )

(ROTTMNT/12TMNT/03TMNT/87TMNT)

8. A Mixed Bag by GreatlyBlessed (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(All of the turtle's mixed together to find away out and find each other :3)

(ROTTMNT)

9. This Was(n't) About You by uncouth_peasant (Complete)

(When Leo decided to tell no one of these self-sacrificial ways… Well this is the result.)

(ROTTMNT/12TMNT/03TMNT/87TMNT)

10. B.E.A.S.T by SkylerSkyhigh (Complete)

(The Rise boys aren't violent, they're just traumatic)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

11. The Purple Conundrum by Donnies_Lady_87 (On going)

(The Purple Turtles swapped, but instead of teenagers, they swapped when they were tots, and now everything is going to be different when they grow up.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT/03 TMNT/87 TMNT/Bay TMNT/IDW TMNT/07 TMNT/Last Ronin/19 TMNT/16 game TMNT/19 Power Rangers TMNT)

12. Multiverse of Michelangelo by Srae13 (Complete)

(Mikey, why are you stealing your counterparts?)

MARVEL -

1. Take These Broken Shards (I’m bleeding out) by DaniWib (Complete)

(This is so scary, heartbreaking and terrifying yet Peter Parker & The Avengers bonding is so adorable at the same time. I am so glad that the Avengers are here to help. That shit-bastard, Skip Westcott can go and dig his own grave.)

2. Reintroducing Hope by Fernandidilly_yo (Complete)

(I am actually so shocked... I can't believe how amazing this Fic is. Peter is so precious, and the adventures are such an amazing family.)

3. Child's Play by theoneandonlyfishboy (Complete)

(Why is Marvel fics so emotional.)

4. Somewhere You Can Be Safe by sarcasmismyweapon (Complete)

(Switched, well transported to another timeline... Wow, and these Avengers are much more Domestic.)

5. The Avengers vs The Peter Factor bymidnightwolf2192

(Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(The Peter factor is working really well!)

6. You Screamed For So Long We Forgot To Care Anymore by GalaxyThreads (Complete)

(I love Loki so much, and seeing him like this breaks my heart! Poor Loki.)

7. Dysfunctional by InkpotGod97 (Complete)

(This is a dysfunctional family.)

8. Not Everyone Deserves a Second Chance byJustRandomStories

(Complete)

(This is so insane, I love this so much, the new avengers are so amazing, and the rogues are honestly dickheads. I love the red three, they are the best.)

9. from your perspective, the world is flat by blueh (Complete)

(Identity reveal for Peter, and to his Academic Decathlon Team. I mean he took it better than I'd expected. the Avengers are so nice! Read the second part as well peter parker's guide on secret identity fails :D)

10. Formalities by Terranpheum (Complete)

(This is an amazing fanfic, oh my gosh! The way everyone just enters Peter's apartment and hangs out with him is amazing. I love the bond everyone has with Peter, it's precious and it's like everyone just adopted him (I mean that's kinda what happened). Towards the end, it got really sad but I'm glad Peter knows he has support now.)

11. The Other Stark by Angst_gremlin (On going)

(Oh... Holy... I have no words. Honestly, This is one of the most heartbreaking stories I have ever read on Ao3. My heart aches for Peter, the sheer neglect he faces daily from everyone is just making me so angry, like WTF do any of you guys have common sense? Do you know what this can do to someone's mindset, A CHILD no less? He doesn't deserve that treatment, hell no one does.)

12. Neon Liar (Hiding in Plain Sight) by isaDanCurtisproduction (Complete)

(This is one of the Best Field Trips to SI fics. There is so much Fluff and a good amount of Angst. Oh, and you can't forget the embarrassment Peter gets. I love this so much, the way the Avengers interact with Peter. My favourite part is when everyone thought he was skipping school. The text messages were priceless!)

Am I crazy... Yes

[cloveryfields]

The seemingly most emo thing I feel I could be doing during all this chaos is starting another blog by the same name. However, a lot needs to be said and Twitter/X is just not a good platform for long, honest posts about how I fucked up.

Indeed, it truly isn’t my fault that there are people in this world who would rather believe their own misinformation and cleave to it as gospel, than admit they were wrong. It’s clearly delusions of grandeur going on in all this, particularly by one X user who goes by “legoldenflakestrudel,” who, rather than believe every ounce of proof I’ve struggled to procure for her, chooses to call me everything from AI to “barely literate” (in spite of my writing which she also keeps complimenting because she refuses to believe it was written by me).

According to her, I couldn’t be the same person because I don’t tweet the way I write, especially in 150 characters, and because I don’t look like the fictional character I was writing about. Of course I don’t. She was a figment of my imagination. I created her. And most authors don’t write characters who are cookie cutter carbon copies of themselves, unless it’s autobiographical.

Clover was fiction. Not autobiography. I don’t understand why this is so hard to accept, save for the fact that this particular user seems determined to condemn an innocent man who has brought nothing but joy and inspiration to so many. Even noted artist Sunny D. Anomaly (formerly Ocularfracture) cites him as the reason she became a comic book artist.

For those reading this and not in the know, I will explain this from the beginning. Oddly, it all started 12 years ago, and little did I know what sort of a mess it would cause. God, this sounds like the beginning of some cheesy paperback novel. I swear to you, it’s all true, or my name isn’t Clementine Yorke. Yeah. That’s my real name. Did you honestly think someone named Clover E. Fields was a real person?

But back to it, for the truly confused.

Twelve years ago, all the way back in 2012, I was a lonely college dropout but I still wanted to pursue a career in literature. Things in my life weren’t the best, and I wanted an escape from myself. I wanted to feel like I was in college again, I wanted the drama, the gossip, the sex… the… the friends… :\

So I invented a character. Several characters down the line, even, but Cloveryfields was the first one I made, and whose skin I really crawled into to flesh her out as a person.

It started with just a paper journal; a little spiral tie-dye thing with purple pages marked with peace signs. But I kept leaving it at home which is when inspiration always struck, so I decided to create a live journal account that I could access from anywhere.

I admit, I got way more into this character than was probably necessary, creating various other social media for her, and spending long hours writing blog entries, even backdating some of them so I could write about things that happened in her past. For a while, she was all that kept me going. Whenever I’d had a rotten day, I’d come home and go straight to my laptop without even eating, and just write about what Clover’s day was like.

I would vanish into her and write about *her* troubles, which were far more interesting than my own meaningless ones. Sometimes it felt like the words were just flowing through me, like she was part of me now and I didn’t even have to think, I just let the words come… and at the end, I’d proof read it and think, “I wrote this?”

After a while, that began to frighten me. I was even making art for deviant art saying it was hers. I was posting on Facebook, even getting a friend to help me look more real. Slowly, I began to feel like I was living two lives and possibly even making Clover real enough in my head that I could easily form a split personality and not even know it.

So, for a long time, I took a break. I posted one last thing about moving away and then left it to rot for a bit. When I started writing her novel, I made sure to do it in the third person so that I wouldn’t attach my psyche to it. Once I felt I had detached myself enough from it, I visited the blog a few more times to tie a nice little bow on the story, and that was the last time I posted.

I never deleted it, as the novel still sits unfinished, but since I’ve neglected it for so long, I’ve been locked out of the account and the email I created for it was terminated due to inactivity.

Now, if you aren’t in the know and reading this out of curiosity, you’re probably wondering what’s so awful about this whole thing, other than getting dangerously caught up in it. Well… I made several errors. Things I hadn’t even thought of until all this drama started a few days ago.

One was, to appear like a person who used a blog, I added some people as friends. One such person was noted artist, Jhonen Vasquez. It was innocent, adding him. I added multiple artists I admired. Unfortunately two of them have gotten swept up in all this because of me. Mainly Jhonen, but also the aforementioned ocularfracture who, until this evening, wished to remain anonymous. She feels she might be able to help though, since she somehow got linked to it all, and I hope to god she can.

Continuing on, though… because my character had an unstable relationship with someone named Jho (a Malaysian name of a kid I’d known in school who had anger management problems)… for some reason, this guy came to mind when I was picturing instability, so I just used the name.

I honestly didn’t even make the connection that Jho and Jhonen are even spelled with the same J-H-O. It never occurred to me at all. But here we are, twelve long years in the future, and here’s a bunch of people causing all sorts of drama about the blog, claiming Clover was a real person who was in a relationship with Jhonen Vasquez and abused by him. There’s apparently even some imposter claiming to BE Clover, which infuriates me endlessly.

It’s apparently not bad enough that a work of fiction was mistaken for autobiography, or that these truly depraved individuals somehow assumed based on nothing, that it was written about Jhonen. No, they have to make it all worse by being a flimsy sock puppet of my own intellectual property, just to insert themselves into the drama and condemn a man who has done nothing wrong.

I have been busting ass trying to get back into any of those old accounts so I can prove that I am who I say I am and clear his name…

But it’s really thrown me into a depression spiral. I feel like a tremendous asshole for ever writing anything that could be misconstrued, even if unintentional. I feel like I’m the reason… because I AM the reason that this wonderful artist has been made to suffer so much. And that truly hurts to know.

I never met Jhonen. Always wanted to, but never got the chance. Now I never will, for sure. If he even knows I exist by now, he must despise and detest me as the source of all this unnecessary suffering he’s been put through. It’s like… “way to go, Clem! Way to fuck up the life of someone you loved and respected.”

It will haunt me for the rest of my life, however long that might be at this point… because the more I think about this and how stupid it was and how easily it could’ve been avoided, plus putting myself in his shoes and imagining how damaging this must all be for him… I feel like a life for a life. I ruined his, so I owe him my own. Old fashioned rules that somehow make sense as I sit here freeing to death and waiting, hoping, praying that I got all my made-up credentials right, so that I can log back in and end this nonsense.

That’s the problem with getting too deep into a character. You make fake names, birthdates, security questions that don’t even apply to you… and you have to actually remember them or it’s game over.

And if I can’t sort this out, it’s game over. And even if I do, I still doubt if I can live with myself after knowing what I inadvertently put another human being through.

We’ll see what happens. Until next time,

Cloveryfields, aka Clem Yorke

[pineappleciders]

hi guys. i don't like to make posts like this but i figure i'd just want to clear some things up

first things first, i do not support OMOCAT and please get off my page if you do.

i know a lot of people are going to tell me that it was a long time ago. and i know. i know that people change and i do have faith that OMOCAT doesn't do the stuff she did anymore, but that isn't my problem

if you aren't aware of the extent of what she's said, it wasn't just the shota shirt. here are some ss of deleted tweets from 2012-2014.

if you're wondering, she has made an apology about the shirt she made about a year after she released it, stating that the definition had changed since then and she felt it was no longer appropriate

basically her whole thing was that it didn't mean that to her, and that it just meant little boy

and, to be quite honest, in this situation i don't care what 'shota' means, because either way it doesn't make her look any better. making a shirt with a picture of an anime boy with the words 'little boy' on it isn't much of an improvement.

and what's worse is her tweets. again, 'little boy underwear' doesn't sound any better than 'shota underwear'. in her tweet as of nov 2013, BEFORE the shirt was removed, she made the tweet that said,

'what does shota mean' 'uh'

i feel this pretty much implies that she knows in a lot of circumstances it has some sort of sexual connotation to it. and the tweet about people flipping their shit when they see her shota underwear???

a grown woman tweeting about 'how she doesn't like *all* little boys but thinking about her 3rd grade crush makes her flustered* is just straight out pedophilia, u cannot deny that this is weird af

i dislike cancel culture. i don't think people should have their lives ruined for making mistakes, but this was not a mistake. saying 'omori is hot wow good shota' about a 12 year old character she created isn't really something u can just bounce back from imo

the thing about the underwear and her apology only being about the shirt is the most gross to me. i think it's apparent that even if she didn't think shota is an erotic word, she obviously knew that other people felt it was and these were her responses.

i'm just posting all of this because i think people seriously underestimate the situation,, and i also don't want anyone thinking i support her in any way. i love OMORI with all of my heart and it rlly sucks to see the creator of it say this kind of shit

again, i know it was a long time ago but the thing is she never apologized for the tweets (as far as i'm aware) and only for the shirt, which ngl was kind of half-assed considering she only said 'i didn't know what it meant' (either way, in what world is selling a shirt that says 'little boy' on it reasonable?)

i don't want to reach, but i think her treatment of HERO in the game is also questionable. the adult women in the game fawn over him and SWEETHEART literally preys on him??? and the way the slime girls treat the boys is questionable imo. i wouldn't say this about a normal game but considering OMOCATs history this is strange to me.

anyways ill wrap this up by saying please do not interact if you support omocat!!

[bulbabutt]

ok. elephant in the room or shit i thought about a while ago but didnt post, my going theory on the rise cancellation which idk if its a theory more-so as reading the room and putting the pieces together.

it seems like playmates fault to me on account of the toys being shit and then cancelled outright. like waves of toys ready to go in 2019, none saw the light of day.

obvs a lot of them were shit, not the point. the point being theres up to 6 waves of toys on the table at 2019 toy fair, only 1 and 2 were made. compare to the last toyfair showing the mutant mayhem toys.

playmates made both of these era of toys. do you see how much more effort went into one than the other. you can say movies are more popular blah blah blah. but playmates has made ALL tmnt toys since they ever existed, and comparing the rise toys to even the previous shows toys it seems obvious where they put the money.

anyway my theory here is playmates got told (or given or offered or whatever) mutant mayhem. they immediately went. oh. yeah this will make us money. lets start prepping moulds for this now, lets get ready to sell a shit ton of different stuff. and they just left all those rise things on the cutting room floor. they didnt tell anyone on the team they were gonna do that. they didnt say "yeah it doesnt matter what you do cuz we have this NEW thing coming" they just abandoned it. they pretended theyd give it a chance to come back if their movie went well just to appease them and us, cuz they saw more money elsewhere.

the dumb shit about that is like imagine saying that about like. batman or the avengers or something. yeah we wont make this cartoon anymore cuz we have a theatrical movie coming in 3 years. like. you can have more than one iteration YOU DID IT WITH 12.

truly this is nothing against mutant mayhem by all accounts it looks amazing, my point here is that im sick of playmates fucking over each tv show with their stupid hunks of plastic. it has in fact happened each time, rise was just faster

87 was good, then there were the 90s movies that got popular enough that the show needed to be closer in style to.

03 was good, then it got dark, told to be more fun (cuz kids like ben 10 now) so they made fast forward, which was also good but in its own way, but then tmnt 2007 came out and playmates literally said "nope nope, we want to save on moulds so change your show to look like this movie" then 07 didnt go well cuz warner bros didnt fucking market it (what i heard from a podcast w nolan north was that they were super preoccupied marketing the shit out of 300 at the time. which. ok very weird choice for kids toys)

then we have 2012 after nick buys the franchise. and 12 has the weird tonal dissonance of dark stuff and kid stuff, with the most "designed to be toys" characters in it, clearly messing w things in the show itself while it was going.

then bayverse comes out along side it and once its over we get rise, where the designs clearly take inspiration from that movie (donnie and raph specifically)

then mutant mayhem is announced and rise just. fades out of existence. planned seasons cut and cancelled. planned toys disappear.

anyway. none of those shows are bad. none of the movies that come out along side them are bad. its just the dumbassery of like. not being allowed more than one iteration at a time, and its nOT on account of popularity or brand synchronizing like youd think, its literally to not have to make as many DIFFERENT SHAPED hunks of plastic! its fucking stupid. rise's downfall seems to be POOR FUCKING PLANNING on playmates part for THEIR shitty toys and then also being cheap/unwilling to have TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF TOYS AT ONCE (proof being the 03/07 thing)

anyway. thats my theory or whatever that fills me with rage. i hate playmates and i think its insane that the downfall of rise literally comes down to two stupid companies and their desire to sell garbage to children.

[rainydaygt]

Remember when I said “ok goodnight”? I LIED. LISTEN TO MY 12 AM RAMBLINGS 🫵

yes it’s about fnaf again :,(

Okay Hi. So. I did some insane cocomelon shit to try and figure out what year ITP took place and I looked up when certain mentioned medias came out only to find out Oswald literally finds a calender that says june 1985. So that was for nothing.

But I think that Oz is currently living in 2012 in the game. Why? Because on his calenders August starts on a WEDNESDAY. And in 2012 August starts on a what? A WEDNESDAY. What does his dad have? A crappy old cell phone that wouldve been considered crappy around that time. Also, Jeff is playing that old computer game on an ancient ass computer BUT NOT QUITE SO OLD BECAUSE I REMEMBER IT FROM MY OWN CHILDHOOD!!! So I think it’s in 2012, also because (if memory serves me correctly) they mention the mill started up about 30 years ago. What’s 2012-1985? LIKE ABOUT 30 THAT’S RIGHT PEOPLE. IN THE PIT IS 1985 AND OUT OF THE PIT IS 2012!!!!!!!!! GET FREAKED!!!

i think i’m acoustic

[philsmeatylegss]

Hiii I just saw a post Abt the v day video and how it's fucked up and such and I was just wondering why? I found it a few years ago but it was just kinda cute tbh what's wrong with it? Lmao I'm definitely a newer phan, I only started really following their stuff in like 2017 so I don't know too much about early dnp lol

Oh fuck I’m old

I think it’s safe enough to finally talk publicly about it.

Basically the vday video was a video Phil made for Dan for Valentine’s Day. He uploaded it privately onto his YouTube channel which Dan had the password to so Dan could see it. At this time, Dan was on vacation (pretty sure in India) and he wouldn’t have been able to see a video of that quality just through text or email. Shitty luck, the same time he privately uploaded it, infamous YouTube glitch happened where all private videos became public. And one of the videos that went public was the v day video.

There’s a lot of jokes about Dan in 2012, but it’s actually really depressing. Dan wasn’t out yet and he had a fuck ton of trauma surrounding his sexuality. 2012 is when dnp started blowing up enough to where they became part of popular early YouTube so people saved the v day video when it was uploaded.

They’ve only addressed it a few times in which they said it was an April Fool’s prank, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but what were they supposed to say? According to legend, people would keep reuploading the video and Phil would spend hours taking them down one by one and it would say “AmazingPhil took down this video for copyrite.”

It was a catalyst to just a really shitty period for dnp. All aggressively heterosexual clips from Dan’s liveshows are my 2012. “FYI I like vagina” is 2012. People were contacting his 14 year old brother to ask about him and Phil. That alone is both fucked up to drag a kid into this, but remember that Dan still wasn’t out to his family. It was probably so fucking terrifying when his YouTube life, especially regarding his sexuality and relationship, clashed with his family life for the first time.

There’s a noticeable difference between their relationship in videos from 2009-2011 and 2012-2015. And it is most likely because dnp blew up pretty big in 2012 and started going from making YouTube videos for fun to doing it as a job with the added pressure of millions watching. And the catalyst, or at least metaphorical catalyst, from the switch between being openly touchy feely giggles to strict, five feet apart mates is considered to be the vday vid.

It was a big problem in the phandom since it was leaked to around 2017ish. A lot of people were circulating it and word was that they were still being taken down years later, implying that Phil was still searching for the video years later.

The phandom used to be primarily 12-16 year olds. And when you’re that age, speaking from experience, you don’t understand the complexities of the situation and just kinda thought “teeheehee phan is real XD.” When in reality, it was a very sensitive and serious thing that wasn’t meant to ever be seen by the public. It’s literally where the cherry lube and kissing at the Manchester Eye reference is from.

Rightfully so, the video became more and more taboo to mention and most people caught on that it was a shitty thing to upload or share it. It used to be really taboo and affectionately was often referred to as “the video that shall not be named.”

It honestly has a backstory that is so story-like that it seems unreal. So much had to happen for it to be leaked and the impact it had on them was so large it’s like a black hole in phandom history.

It’s possible not all of this is accurate, this is just the basic lore of it. So while I don’t think the internet police will drag you to prison for saying you watched the vday video, this is the context behind it. Do with it what you will.

Spending your entire preteen, teen, and now 20s as a phannie will fry your brain in unimaginable ways. I knew this off the top of my head😭

[baxterstockmanisthecenterfold]

old follower from when you were Baxterstockmanismyson, why'd you delete your old blog? What made you come back?

I pretty much explained why here

But to some it up basically, I was just sick of the harassment & constant hateful responses my friends & I Myself would receive almost daily because of the most simple opinions.

Hell I actually remember this one time I was making a rant about 2012 Stockman's character mishandling & I brought up the Rise turtles for 2 seconds & even made a stupid joke about how I'm surprised no one accused the 2012 ones of racial profiling & this one user took it so seriously they harassed me & my followers the rest of the day

I also can't help but find this bit from them ironic considering they could have did the exact same thing with my post & followers.

This isn't even a one time thing too. As I just said. The fandom would just take EVERYTHING too seriously & attack anybody that disagreed with them in any shape or form & a lot of my best friends at the time were victims of cyberbullying because of them including me. Yes I could have ignored them, & most days I did tbh, but every once in a while there was always that one miserable person that just wanted to PERSONALIZE their attacks to me just because I said I didn't like Apriltello or something & they made their insults PERSONAL, to the point where I couldn't help but NOT ignore it. I already suffer from Anxiety and Depression & EXTREMELY low self esteem to the point where I second guess my talents. From my art to my appearance to even questioning why I still exist. If I should even STILL exist.. At that point in 2021 when I deactivated Baxterstockmanismyson I had already been going through enough stressful situations in my life, worrying about a ton of real life personal stresses in my life. And the unnecessary bullying from the fandom consisting of grown ass adults mind you was the last thing I needed. I had actually received yet another hateful message in my askbox because of one of my hot takes the day before I deactivated & it honestly fucked me up majorly so it was the last straw. I deactivated & I overall QUIT & Left the fandom entirely ever since, I just didn't see the point in staying anymore when there's little to zero good memories in it.

I would be lying if I didn't say I did miss some aspects. The one thing I missed the most being Baxter himself. Any version of him. Especially considering he's actually the entire reason I even got into TMNT in the first place (but a story for another time). He's beyond my favorite character, he's my comfort one, my boy ever since I was 12. Then Mutant Mayhem was announced along with the fact that Baxter was in it (& played by FUCKING Giancarlo Esposito) my interest was peaked to say the least. Especially after I found out he looked like this

I'd even say it was honestly the only reason why I saw the movie (even if he was only in it for 4 minutes) which I admit even outside of Baxter, I did end up enjoying it. It was also nice to talk about tmnt again to my Girlfriend & a once mutual friend at the time. Just making it our own personal bubble having zero contact with the fans, especially as I saw literally NOTHING changed just by people's reactions to Mutant Mayhem April smfh. So I assumed it was the right choice.

Another year went by. Things are different once again, that mutual friend I mentioned earlier is...no longer our friend.. and it was back to radio silence in terms of anything turtle related. I had started collecting figures at this point in time & with the release of Human 1987 Baxter & Mirage on the way, I figured it wouldn't hurt to FINALLY add Baxter to my shelf like I always wanted to years ago. Even finally start making custom figures for him that don't exist & it was a fun, exhausting but also therapeutic experience in a way. Especially getting the chance to finally look back at the mad scientist all the way from day one. From schulpting, to talking about him & even looking up other perspectives on him. Even if it was mostly misconceptions like always when it comes to him. And it got to the point where I wanted to let out an outlet to just really let out Stockman talk & facts about the guy that no one knew or already did but with a story behind it. Even taking inspiration from AskSpideypool's @ sciderman & their blog being the most dedicated blog to really get & understand Wade Wilson & Peter Parker with pages worth of history to back up the knowledge. It's honestly how I feel with Baxter Stockman if I'm being legit with you. So about maybe 3 months later or so, I decided to create this new blog, a new start. A blog to just really share & show all I know about Baxter & even find other people that feel the same way. Just a little Baxter bubble that I can have & feel safe in. It's also why you noticed I haven't shared NON Baxter stuff on here yet. To put it short. I'm not really back in the TMNT fandom. Sure I'll post about Baxter Stockman. But that's the ONLY thing I'll go as far as posting. I wasn't too far off when I said I only watched MM for Stockman & the fact that the fandom hasn't changed their ways based on MM April's reception.

I want absolutely nothing to do with the fandom's drama or possible drama the second I step into current TMNT events & I share my thoughts on them even if I had thoughts anyway, I honestly don't really care anymore aside from Baxter.

To sum it up: Unless it involves Baxter, I genuinely don't give a shit. So a heads up if I'm ever asked about something non Stock related like my thoughts on this video game or this ship ect I'm gonna ignore it. I just don't have the mental strength for the drama anymore. And it's not like the fandom itself even cares about Baxter let alone care enough to get mad over a hot take about him which I've yet to see (aside from some 30/40 something year old idiots on Instagram & Twitter that genuinely believed he was always a white guy & him being black is new) so I feel safe in my Stockbubble.

Anyway, hope that clears things up. Both why I left & how this new blog works.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Heroin addiction hello,

this is me my name is heroin, I am more expensive than gold, but you will pay more for me. I’m like a diamond you want me you you wanna wear me you wanna wear me all over your body you wanna be me you wanna be inside my body, you want me to take the pain away like a hug like a hug used to do like a kiss like being in love used to, my name is Cherry and I’m a heroin addict I’m not some 12 stepper I kind of wish I was so I kind of wish I didn’t get the vibe that it was a cult , but maybe it is but who said all Colts are bad well this person right here was see. I’m also autistic I have a strong time of the past, I’ll tell you what this addiction has taken everything away from me. Let’s go back and let’s go back to 10 years ago. Roughly let’s go to the 3rd of December 2012 when I met this man who to this day, I can’t get out of my head see this man🕰️ introduced me to this awful awful thing, but at the same time he kept me away distance control. Yes I get it on the first night I met this man me off my feet. I was telling him about my situation ship and he was very compassionate. He was very understanding and it sort of Started there and went on the next five years, I was hooked line and sinker .

So the first night I met this man he was with my friend I met with, and I can still tell you everything about it that night it had to be one of the best nights of my life as I sit here now with tears in my eyes, five years later, I remembering things when I write, I wanted to be writer when I write I want to I remember And I started my life story again I’ve been with him for awhile see you inspired me be a bad person being with me and made me wanna be better and we had this little secret but let’s go back to the question because I’m very good at track no drugs happened it was just drinking Maybe smoking weed because I did back then but I was just talking it was like talking to someone I’d know my whole life and when you’re autistic this doesn’t happen often I hadn’t been diagnosed then but he had both bonded over the fact that we both had personality disorders and that we didn’t fit into society boxes, but now as I see it, I see it. I do but This man had a complete control over me. He had literally just had a baby with somebody who he’d been with for 10 years. He told me it was over, but yet they just had a baby a month prior premature, I didn’t want to take this woman’s man I didn’t want to take away this father, so I said don’t chase me, so on the days that he saw his child up at the hospital still, he would come back really quickly like he hadn’t even been there at all. I know that he had a premature baby. Yes I do I don’t know the whole truth of it I never will Until years though, when I spoke to his ex and I still don’t know the whole truth and why the fuck should she have to tell me anyway but all night he painted her is a villain same as I did with my ex yes as a personality disorder, everyone else is a bad guy You never the bad guy until it all comes tumbling down and you hate yourself and you wanna cut yourself or burn yourself so I trigger on this post but I have to say this I have to be honest with myself I must’ve liked it the fact that my family my family was born into because I don’t have kids that’s another sad part of this story is, I can’t Maybe it’s sick but there you go. They treat this man as an outcast just as much as I treated me as an outcast. I feel he wasn’t allowed to my sisters birthday party even though my sister was married to a literal word rapist still in prison for it now, and all the other sick things he did And my ex or right through this, of course I’ve noticed can also see crazy people who are crazy can always see crazy and others. Neurotypical are very selfish people. The first time I met him. He didn’t use her when he told me about it. apparently he told me about it and anyway I told him not to choose me over his child. Anyway he did we were texting all the time I was texting him. He was writing me love i never had this in my entire life. He literally swept me off my feet and the good thing that happened at the beginning of our relationship was that I went away for a week two days after we met Which made me want him more and vice versa now he probably did stuff I’ve heard he might of he’s married now to this girl. He slagged off for years and shagged. The sister who is 17 when we were together together what we broke up we didn’t properly broke up, but we broke up This is where the comes in we’re living in accommodated living for people who are not very well addicts mentally ill and so on. Anyway, many of the nights I would sneak into his room through the window or he sneak into mine and would lie bad faith, even if there was cameras. Oh he hasn’t asked your random stuff like this and I’ll be like it has. I’ve gone to bed, and obviously it was the most exciting time of my life. I was 23 years 22 years old and absolutely in love. Yes I know they got married at the age of 17 but it wasn’t part. Of course it was in my res autistic and everything was always more dramatic. The next time I’m bigger and better also I thought crazy so we end up getting kicked out of this facility I live there for a year I hadn’t really stayed there. I’d stayed in my mum, still even though she di

So things got out of hand that I’ve got made homeless I’m looking back now I thought it was so unfair and at the time I thought it was unfair. People who got made homeless shouldn’t have got made home as really people who this is all they had and the man I’m with now With living in the shed house with my ex there is four of the houses two of them staffed two of them not! so my partner was in a house without staff and then got put into the room next to me in the staff house which I was in me and my partner and I said maybe it was a distraction from my ex and his past, I will never know the full extent of.

So heroin heroin you ask how did it come into it well slowly that’s what I’ll say slowly he came back one day in a really really bad mood. This is before we got kicked out and started smoking on the bed. I’ve never been a situation I’ve been around hard before and it made me very uncomfortable, especially because I hadn’t touched them so I felt embarrassed and obliged this time I didn’t. I felt safe I felt safe with him. I just did so here it goes we move out and by this point before I go with him I will say I was addicted to sleeping pills on and off and opiates pill, but only pills so I sort of being there, but I wasn’t in the world of dealers drug addicts, horrible people debt, losing friends, and emotionally and because of the addiction. No nothing was that bad yet was destined for this maybe probably who knows I don’t I don’t even know so I will never forget the day I did it because it made life, so like it made sense for the first time in my life. It just made sense everything fit into place. Everything was like this is what it’s meant to be and this is how I should feel it wasn’t overwhelming how I thought it was meant to be, and this is how it traps you guys so don’t do it, it just felt like I had found the key to a door that had been locked 22 years and I had found that key. Obviously not a drug use. very narcissistic you really don’t think it’s gonna be you you just don’t you don’t think it’s going to be you in 1 million years even when you told me all these things via my ex when he told me this is what it’s like. I’m depressed now I can’t feel without it sex drive it fuck it fuck the way you connect with people you lose that connection and when you’re autistic anyway that is hard to have by the beginning it makes that all possible it makes you have emotion it makes you connect it makes you feel like you are invincible, and I always thought the word heroine became from the hero within, it kind of makes sense, wouldn’t it.

So the first time I used it, I smoked it we were living in one of his friends house in the spare bedroom that was freezing cold and the guy was addicted to it. The wife wasn’t they had two children. They had three children but the two children were in the room next to the dad, who is addicted really bad day and ill And this was the first place I used it they thought I was just normal. They didn’t think I touched so when I asked to try it one time when I got kicked off Valium which as you know it’s not very good I’ve got put on after a bad experience. Grape grape by my ex, and it was a short term thing, but I felt awful and I was hallucinating and I was in a really weird way and I also still appealed from my other exes house which led me to be really drooling and off my head and not remembering things in this house anyway, so that’s where I first tried it and for that year when we were living from house to house of people and Sophie spare rooms whatever, was the most exciting time of my life. It was an adventure that I’ve never been in. It was some kind of life experience that I needed for that time, but it led to this really scary time that I live in now so would I take it back? I’m not too sure i’ll lose all these memories, but then I won’t be attached to it so much either. Yeah I’d probably take it because the people I know now I really don’t wanna know I’m telling you something, there’s a lot of really dodgy men in this world who will try and proposition you for sex for money or they will try and do things to you the amount of times I’ve had men do things to me that dodgy sexually, I can’t even fathom it’s very sad, no one should have to go through that. made me feel so protected from the heroin all of it the relationship with that felt amazing, We lived from moment to moment we bonded so deeply our moon 🌙 signs very compatible. we shared everything let’s say so in the five years 2 1/2 of them are good 2 1/2 of them really bad but let’s say this was really severe case of grooming two that felt good though it felt really good because it came with the drugs and it came with the reward system that your brain creates of Doberman, but after a while your break your brain needs a pleasure and reward centre to survive. It’s like breathing it felt amazing. I felt so good every time I felt so good he he controlled my habits so I didn’t get too bad so I would get high probably off. Let’s say £10 worthb or £20 worth a day, maybe less let’s say less.

Eventually, my family obviously found out because I’m a very honest person and I like why did you say that I’ve noticed addicts are very dishonest people, scum of the Earth and I can’t stand them and they can’t stand me either. They do not like me and I think my ex knew this about them that they wouldn’t like me because he did all the messaging and calls to these people I didn’t know these people were so uptight about a text message, but they are absolutely ridiculous, I wasn’t used to this level of paranoia unless it was in your mind none of these people give a shit about you. I’m talking as 33-year-old me now and not 22-year-old man. It’s been over 10 years can you believe it because I can I mean it could be another lifetime ago and it could be yesterday 22-year-old didn’t know about this. Didn’t know this rule it’s uptight don’t do that and I honestly I hate these people honestly I’m miserable it’s not good for me I’m constantly sad,😔 yeah I mean the end of last year I going to join this astrology course and I have a teacher now at this woman I listen to for years on YouTube who I love I love her way of teaching listening to her on YouTube she was so good at going into it all. I looked up with Darkside zodiac and I found her but anyway I’m gonna tell her I lost friends in my opinion, so basically when I was younger, I was a bit of a goody-goody so that transition into hard-core addict who thought she was Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain with her boyfriend was obviously a massive shock to my friends and family I’m guessing constantly asking for money this day,

They didn’t realise this world opened up, a whole box of things that made me feel better, but a whole shit load of a basement full of crap that came with it. They won’t so yeah, I was a goody goody I didn’t really drink. I didn’t do this I didn’t do that, but I was fun. I was a happy shy girl And I would join in and have a laugh with my friends we would get the stone high part when I used to bring school in into school my sister’s part into my friend and he smoked I didn’t even smoke. Then I didn’t even feel the pressure to smoke. So yeah this was a massive personality change I guess so I always went from group group I was always a bit of a drifter.! point of sticking a needle in my arm, I wasn’t bad in fact I was the opposite of a bad arse you could say but as he has went on things happened and you meet people, my best friend who I be my best friend from the age of 10 made her be my best friend until she agreed. She was my best friend from me from me, her being sick of me, trying to ask it probably so I made my first love through her years later 18 years old and he was just schizophrenic and I even got warned off him which was probably the right idea cause this is where my first mental break happened a few years after that so this is why is slowly threatened to do law, and my personality was really changing, and I guess it was very scary for the people around me, so I’d have relationships with people friends whatever, but it always felt forced with this man. It never felt forced. It felt natural, and he would convince me that these people wanted to hurt me, or they weren’t good enough for me or they for I wasn’t good enough for them. He was very clever very very very clever he had me believing all of this shit and so it still this day is in and I can’t get rid of and I think anyone who’s been in a abusive relationship will feel this.

I have put a lot of pressure on my family. I feel like I am loving girl but I don’t have a family like the rest of them all my sisters have children. My brother is happy in a relationship. He is with someone for 11 years and he was very very happy even though he’s my older brother he sometimes feels like my younger brother because he’s so more innocent and I was innocent like he was too Very similar. In fact he was more of a rebel than I was saying I think I wanted to rebel so badly because I never had the opportunity. I mean the first guy I slept with gave me herpes if you want to talk about bad luck, but I thought it was a bad ass then because I was going out of a guy from Bangladesh who was a Muslim who had a restaurant well he didn’t have the restaurant who I was fucking in his restaurant And I thought I was cool. I was getting free curries and then I went to the next shop up the road and it was a Turkish guy who had a gorgeous green eyes. I was obsessed with being in love and not with English man. I thought English men were trash they never fancied me in school. I never had boyfriends, and I lost my virginity at 16.

 so my friends now anyway, who I lost I’ve tried to bring back into my life but they’re not perfect either. I’m not saying they’re perfect but they weren’t drug Alex and we weren’t into people like that. They don’t know anything about people like that when I tell them about the things that have been degraded too, I’m in the last three years I didn’t leave my house because of a sexual assault kind of thing again And it’s very very scary so they couldn’t understand it or comprehend. They didn’t know why I was agitated. They didn’t know why I couldn’t meet up with them till sad times. They didn’t know why I didn’t pick up my phone they didn’t know why I called them at weird hours they didn’t understand it they didn’t understand why I wanted money they didn’t understand why I didn’t have this. They didn’t understand the people that knew I get it. I wish I didn’t even guys They see it though they see what happened, but then I did have one very abusive friend who is a Gemini and she would send me essays with you sometimes and this was before I got with Matt! she could still be very nasty I mean when I got her, she was like really rude about that and telling people I mean what kind of friend does that anyway so she comes and stay with me after a few years of me being with him and we have a nice time. Kind of have a good time, I’m still happy because I’m with him well I think I am anyway she comes down with fake note she was like can you use it cause she knew the olive. It was a bit backwards compared London I was like yeah probably be fine anyway one day we walked into town and I call her from upstairs from my exes flat and she looks horrified on that. Oh God here we go and she looked up annoyed anyway she’s there and a few days later, she’s all happy happy all on her phone and a good mood God. I wish I felt like her with making weed and I was being very paranoid and that’s when I stopped because I’d started smoking crack at this point because my ex couldn’t do heroin any more fuck from injecting and I hated cocaine. I just did it because he did it and he wanted me to owe him money. A lot of these drug addicts Connell is too so you owe the money I offend this. Well I’m too good for it and I know I’m so good for it and I wanna meet the other people who are not like this who are not con artists ! so she is high and she’s like don’t you feel so amazing I didn’t but I pretended yeah for great anyway she doodled all over this night and then she goes he go you can have it as she left to go home. I was like cheers can’t use it for shit now but thanks 🧑‍🎨.

Chapter 1

[waeirfaahl]

Aku's depression issue, part 2

Once I discussed about the idea of Aku's depression and that Aku should get the fear, depression and paranoia to encounter the deadly sword again before Jack's arrival to the future, but now I want to dig a bit deeper simply for illustrating the bad writing, when some story/plot aspects weren't planned, but were shoehorned into the story exactly after many years and for stupid reasons (and without proper explanation and good writing).

Some interviews confirm that Scaramouche and 50 years time skip were created exactly for 5 season, they didn't exist in the cancelled animated film (no wonder, why Scaramouche literally can be removed easily without affect on the story, so instead of 10 episodes we would have 5-6). Plus, due to Mako's death the cancelled movie had different villain, while Aku apparently was killed off-screen before the events of the animated film. Hence Aku's depression didn't exist and most likely Jack's depression and "Oh no, I killed the first human!" concept didn't exist as well, so probably even the idea with the lost sword was taken exactly from the comics 2015 (and made way worse than in the comics). I would even argue that at best, what was (or could be) in the cancelled animated film — the idea of ending with Jack getting the love-interest and returning to the past and losing the love-interest. Nothing else. No sudden cults (which clearly were created exactly for 5 season and for pretentious symbolism and allegory for blind fanaticism and "worshipping to the devil"), no ghostly warriors, no depression, no Aku (maybe in the cancelled animated film he was killed during exactly the battle against Jack near the last portal, so the last portal exploded along with Aku's death), no random enemies. I have no idea, what Tartakovsky meant, saying "to reconceptualize the character" (Aku) for animated film, and whether Tartakovsky means Mako's daughter in this interview (he wanted to turn Aku into a woman, so Mako's daughter would voice him?), or he already in 2008-2009/2012 wanted forcefully to shoehorn a sudden daughter to the demon (whether she was a pure demon or just Aku's adopted human child, what would make more sense, is unclear — if someone has more information about the story of the cancelled animated movie, I will be glad to learn and to hear, it will be incredibly useful). I don't know, my reaction at the fact, that their brains after 10+ years were unable to birth a good story, are in fact "Is that all?! Whimpering cubs, is that all?!" 50 years time skip was shoehorned into the story only for "Well, the original series ran 12 years ago, big time skip, so let's make the big time skip too in our story! How we will explain Jack's young look? Ah, he is immortal due to time-travelling!". I.e. they don't give a crap about how large logical and plot holes they created by this decision. Like, in the classic seasons Jack lived in this future for like 1-2 years, okay, I can assume that he didn't meet someone, who could explain to him about time paradoxes and why it is the very bad idea to change the past and hence the future, erasing it from existance. But during the f*cking 50 years?! Really?! Not to mention, how the authors try to blame Aku in crimes he didn't commit and even had no idea about. For example, those beetle-robots that attacked the alien emoji-dogs in 1 episode

and the archers' kingdom in 6 episode (yep, the robots run away from f*cking regular arrows) — it wasn't Aku's order at all,

exactly those scientists did what they want, while Aku simply "Go ahead! Who cares? i am certainly not!", i.e. he doesn't participate in the story and has no affect on the story. Because if he participated, Jack would be dead before 50 years time skip.

Let's look at his depression, inserted only as an excuse for Aku's passiveness and inaction over these 50 years — it is unclear exactly when Aku's depression arose, because in his last meeting with Jack during the destruction of the final portal, the demon was not depressed, i.e. after this skirmish, Aku definitely watched Jack for a couple of days, weeks, months and he should have noticed the lack of a sword, since he noticed the bike, beard and Jack's altered image.

How and why hasn't this happened in the damn 50 years, again?! How could he not notice the absence of the sword, if he saw Jack from all angles and distances (through his magic mirror) and definitely had to visit and chase him a couple more times?! As if Aku was imprisoned for these 50 years, not depressed.

Or let's look at those scientists in the scene, where they demonstrate to Aku the new model of a combat robot beetle — during all these decades did they not notice earlier for a lot of depression and complete disregard toward everything and everyone from Aku's side, including his own empire? Did it not seem strange to them that the Master of Masters does not contact them in any way and is absolutely okay with spending money and resources by servants? If Aku gave them the order to build and send robot beetles to Jack, it means that Aku was watching the samurai and trying to bring his death closer, but that contradicts to Aku's own words that he completely ignored Jack all these 50 years and waited for his banal natural death.

I repeat the question — how is that possible?! How for 50 years he didn't find the loss of the sword and didn't kill Jack?!

[blake-arachne]

Because of the countless retconed on where Saint Seiya takes place i decided to Give each series their own time period, this could be from how Kuru and Other Authors can’t make up their mind about some numbers but whatever here’s my headcanon on what time does each series takes place.

Mangas

•Original Manga, Next Dimension (Present): January-April 1990

(Originally it was 1986 but because of Next Dimension saying that it’s set on the year 1990, the dates had changed. Nevertheless, all arcs like Sanctuary, Poseidon, Hades takes place in just a few months. Why I say this simple I calced the dates using Julian Solo’s birthday (March 21) as Reference and the dialogue that was said that it’s been a month since the 12 houses Battle and it was 10 days after the world wide flooding started in March 24. So doing this Math it would be in April 3. So the Sanctuary Battle took place in March 3)

•Episode G: Spring 1979

(In the first chapter said March 28, 1979, and in the original summary said it’s 7 years before the events of Classic but Okada used the old Date of 1986 as guideline)

• Next Dimension (Past): Spring 1750

(It says that it’s been 240 years instead of 243, so by that logic it’s in 1750 where the Holy War of the 18th Century takes place. Now why Spring? Simple the Holy War of the 20th Century took place in April, 1990.)

•The Lost Canvas: Spring 1747

(Since LC is said to be an alt version of the Holy War of the 18th century, you could say takes place around the same dates however in the epilogue it said 243 years, so LC’s Holy War is 3 years earlier than ND’s Holy War)

•Saintia Sho: December 1983-March 1984

(Ok I know it’s said that Saintia Sho takes place around the Sanctuary Arc and Before the Poseidon Arc. However there are some issues like Baby Shoko and Kyoko escaping with Mayura during Aiolos escape (Which I said in a previous post took place on September 12-13) and their Birthdays are on December 10, so Shoko is 9 months older than Saori and Kyoko 2 years and 9 months and they were 13 and 15 respectively at beginning of the Story. And why 1984 instead of 1990 or even 1986? In Saintia Shoko memories the invitation of the Galaxian Wars said the date 1984, now this could be a mistake of Kuori, but till it’s changed. Saintia Sho takes place in the early 80s)

•Episode G Assassin: 2013

(It’s said in an interview that GA takes place post 2012 as the Tokyo Tower has been built and Smartphones are a thing so it should be set in 2013 at the very least)

•Episode G Requiem: 2014-2017

(The first part it’s said to have happened 1 years ago after the end of EG Assassin, and then there was the 3 year time skip)

•Dark Wing: 2020

(Ok I know in the prolouge it’s said it’s been 1 year since the accident but we are told that because the Elysium has a different time space continuum, it’s been a year in the Elysium while in the real world it’s been only a month)

Now with the mangas now dealt with, let’s go with the anime continuity.

Animes

Classic Series and Movies: October 1986-April 1987

(I say that the Classic Anime started in October 1986 and ended in April cuz that’s how it emited in TV. Besides even trough there were countless changed from the source material after all they were made around the same time. But I still keep that the Poseidon Arc ended in April 4th)

Hades OVAs: April 5th-April 16th, 1987

(I’ll explain in Soul of Gold the time you see, I say that Hades happened right after Poseidon so literally the next day they had to fight against the Specters)

Soul of Gold: April 13th-April 16th, 1987

(Apparently in the Underworld and Elysium have different time flows as Lyfia told Aioria that the Grand Eclipse has been on Earth for a Week. While Hades said that it would take a few minutes to be completed. Nevertheless because the events of the Asgard Arc of the Classic series was taken in account takes place in the same continuity)

Tenkai Hen Overture: April 1987

(As Omega said be taking in account this movie. The start of the Battle between Athena vs the Gods will still take place in April of the same year)

Saint Seiya Omega: Dec 1988-Jan 1989/2002

(Ok this is gotta be the most tricky one so far as there’s no confirmation of the dates and no, that whole takes place 25 years after the Classic Series doesn’t apply as doesn’t exist from all I have searched. But since the Saints of Omega are from the 21st Century at very least should be the 2000s. Why the early ones well I used the whole 13 years stuff that we were told. Assuming that Ryuho Bd is in libra like his dad, would mean he was born in October 1989. so he would be 12 in April 2002. As we are confirmed that Koga entered to pallestra post Spring Break. Since i don’t think a year passed between Season 1 and 2 I’ll say that took place in the same year)

Saintia Sho Anime: October 1986

(Even trough it doesn’t form part of the anime canon due to it’s contradiction of the ending of Sanctuary. Sho should be in a parallel to the events of it.)

Others

Gigantomachy: Summer 1986 (It’s suppossedly said that takes place between Poseidon and Hades however in the first Chapter it says it’s in Summer instead of Spring. So this can’t be, neverthenless due begin a parallel World it doesn’t take place in the series but likely used the old date as refence)

Legend of Sanctuary: Sep 1998-Sep 2014

(I’ll say that Legend of Sanctuary takes place in the date it was debuted begin of 2014 as we are told that Saori had become 16 years old. Assuming her BD is the same (Sep 1), we could say that the Escape of Aiolos happened in September 1998. The ages of the Bronzes are Seiya and Shun at 16, Hyoga and Shiryu at 17 and Ikki at 20)

KOTZ: 2019

(Same statement as LoS i think that the KOTZ CGI series takes place in 2019. Saori/Sienna is confirmed be 20 so the escape of Aiolos happened in September 1999. The ages for the Bronze are Seiya at 18, Hyoga/Magnus, Shiryu/Long at 19, Shaun at 17 and Ikki/Nero at 20)

Live Action: 2023

(Due to begin the most recent new product the Live Action movie takes place in 2023 with Seiya at 18 and Saori/Sienna at 17-20)

Anyways those are the dates so far, i might do a redo in the future but oh what the hell, enjoy

[solrites]

honestly ... i'm just more curious about your lore! maybe share some things that you either haven't yet or aren't easily accessible/have been lost on your blog? share some of your favorite fun facts about your world you've created! tell us some lil hcs about your favorite muse you've got on here? share the backstory on how this blog came to be!

so sorry bestie i truly just started yapping.

truly by design this has always been the Solveig Battey and Her Friends Show. our best friend solveig battey literally started off as a middle school writing assignment when i was 12 (like, 16 years ago) and she subsequently evolved into what she is now, and then her backstory and all the interconnections came afterwards. this is Her Story about healing from trauma! she's the metaphor around er for breaking the cycles of familial abuse and healing from trauma and the struggles and pains that come with it and good for her! not that my other characters don't have their own narratives and complex backgrounds, but they did come to be as a connection To Solveig. ANYWAYS ive been on tumblr since 2012 and had a serious of disappearances offline, ive always had an independent solveig blog (this one used to be one LMAO) and other multimuses with the others on them, but this is the first one where all of them have been together.

anyways onto the next thing about my lore that's also very intentionally Vague and not There and genuinely doesn't Matter, despite it being like.. an objectively big part of it. "oh, lem, what are their abilities, their weird eldritch beings/seraphs, what can they do." Jokes on Y'all. It Literally Doesn't Matter, Because They Rarely Use Them (the science experiment kids are outliers, but they never want to use their abilities and those are actually listed and relevant for their characters).

the general focus on all of them is how Human they are despite Not Being Human at all and Never Have Been Human. they have a hyperawareness that they're all different from others, they're immortal (unless they give it up), only other seraphs can kill other seraphs. Fools, i say, They're all Just Metaphors For Grief/Trauma/Healing/Protection/Forgiveness! the only people that use their Abilities willingly are winnie (she's a giant hellhound that eats abusive men, justified) and solveig (our sweet cheese who can do no wrong, heals people).

fun little headcanons (these are all bad vibes because they're about solveig and amanpal, world's worst older brother incoming)? speed tour

amanpal huge belinda carlisle fan.

solveig throws up if she hears heaven is a place on earth immediately.

solveig is ambidextrous.

amanpal left handed strictly so i can make a "sinister" joke based on the belief that if you were left handed you were evil that nobody will understand.

both of them are allergic to latex, so really can someone just fucking take amanpal out already by putting on some latex gloves and giving him a handshake or something.

[korrasamibottles]

Long tag game!! Thanks @nova-leaf @lilrobinbird for tagging me💖

How many tumblr accounts have you had before this one?

Just one! I made it in 2012 to look at Walking Dead and Supernatural gifs and eventually it just turned into a personal blog. I met two of my best friends there!! Unfortunately I'm locked out of it for now because I decided to be a responsible internet enjoyer and changed all my passwords and I uhh. I can't remember what I changed it to. And the email I used to sign up 12 years ago is long dead. So that blog might be gone forever. Life is a highway I'm gonna ride it all night long etc. etc.

How long have you been in fandom?

I had really intense Supernatural and MCU phases back in the day, and binged TLOK and ATLA in 2015 after the Korra finale (I watched Korra first and then atla, and I maintain that's the best way to do it😌) but I never really participated in the fandom, like I never talked to anyone or made anything. So I'm gonna say I've been in fandom since summer 2023 when I made this blog to post my tlok fic (couldn't post it on my old one. My face is/was all over it. You understand.) Everyone I've interacted with here is like. Shockingly nice. Idk why I expected to be beaten with hammers but umm it didn't happen so thank you all for that💖

Your favorite trope in fiction?

AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!!!!! Also rivals coming together to fight a common enemy and then maybe coming together in a different way.....? That's good too.

Your favorite random fact?

There are vast, delicate fungal networks in the earth beneath our feet right now as we speak :) They wrap around tree roots and spread far and wide, connecting multiple trees with each other and allowing them to share water and nutrients. This is especially helpful for saplings, which often aren't able to get enough sunlight to make their own sugars. The fungal network helps ensure the survival of young trees, and in exchange it gets a share in the nutrients being passed between the trees!!!

Your favourite game or kind of game?

Saw trap.

A place you’d like to visit? (If carbon emissions, logistics and money weren’t in question)

Oh god literally anywhere. I want to get marinated in every culture and environment I think that would blow my mind in the best way. I do want to make it to Italy specifically at some point in my life because apparently I have cousins there? But then again what if they're weird and I don't actually want to meet them.....

An animal you’re irrationally afraid of?

I can't really think of any? As a kid I was terrified of big dogs, but that fear is like 99% gone now. Sometimes other people have their dogs off leash in the woods and I gotta say. I Do Not Like It when they come running up snarling barking jumping with their hair raised at me. But the vast majority of dogs are I encounter are nice, and when they aren't I just try to ignore them and keep walking lol.

What’s your favourite season?

Autumn 10000% and then winter. Then spring. Then summer. I hate being hot.

A smell that brings you nice memories?

So maybe this is weird but I really like the way horses smell? I was a farm girl growing up and always loved horses....a horse bit the top of my head once...a different horse broke my arm......still love them.

(If you’re ok talking about food. If not, delete this part) What’s your favorite food from where you were born? And what’s your favorite food from some place else?

My mom's Italian so it was all pasta all the time growing up...lasagna😭 Also chicken cacciatore but the pasta isn't the main event there. But yeah. Pasta tomato garlic basil.....I'm there babiee.

I'm also obsessed with Indian food and there's a place near me that has a vegetable korma that makes me cry.

What’s your favorite drink (if you drink alcohol, alcoholic and non-alcoholic)?

I don't drink alcohol anymore but I loooooooved rum & coke. Also hard cider.

As for regular drinks. I am 75% fruit juice by volume at all times.

Do you give your pets random table scraps?

My cat is a huge freak who turns her nose up at human food like she's literally too good for it. Sometimes I'll offer her a piece of cheese and she'll lick it, but that's it.

I don't know who has and hasn't been tagged already so if you want to do this. Do it🫵